Episode 937 - Mila Kunis / Iliza Shlesinger

Episode 937 • Released July 29, 2018 • Speakers detected

00:00:00Guest:Lock the gates!

00:00:09Marc:Alright, let's do this.

00:00:10Marc:How are you, what the fuckers?

00:00:12Marc:What the fuck, buddies?

00:00:13Marc:What the fuck, Lahomans?

00:00:16Marc:Yes.

00:00:17Marc:I read my email, and I see the tweets.

00:00:20Marc:Occasionally, I'll throw a new one in there.

00:00:23Marc:Exciting news.

00:00:24Marc:Before I forget, it's been about like six or seven years since we've had any new WTF t-shirts, right?

00:00:31Marc:Because I know a lot of you...

00:00:33Marc:That logo has not changed.

00:00:35Marc:Maybe I've changed, but there's something about the original logo.

00:00:39Marc:We still have it up.

00:00:39Marc:It's still the avatar, but this is sort of a retro WTF thing in a way.

00:00:45Marc:I mean, we've had several different types of designs, but for some reason, I was just, maybe we should do something...

00:00:51Marc:That honors the original logo.

00:00:53Marc:So, you know, if you're part of the club who enjoys the show, you'll understand what it is.

00:00:58Marc:And some people are just like, what's up with that fucking shirt?

00:01:00Marc:Which is, you know, something you want people to say.

00:01:02Marc:So go get yourself a new WTF shirt at podswag.com slash WTF or go to the merch page at WTFpod.com.

00:01:11Marc:We've still got the old shirts there and some posters.

00:01:14Marc:There's going to be more posters, too.

00:01:16Marc:So go get some stuff.

00:01:18Marc:Would that be all right?

00:01:19Marc:Today is another doubleheader.

00:01:21Marc:Basically, we've got Eliza Schlesinger, who's got her new special coming out.

00:01:27Marc:Wait, wait, wait.

00:01:28Marc:I know what it's called, too.

00:01:29Marc:Hold on.

00:01:29Marc:I've got it written down right here.

00:01:32Marc:Yes.

00:01:33Marc:Eliza, Elder Millennial.

00:01:35Marc:That's her new special.

00:01:36Marc:And Mila Kunis is here as well.

00:01:40Marc:I'd never met her before.

00:01:42Marc:Her new movie that she did with Kate McKinnon, who I'd like on the show.

00:01:46Marc:Hello, anyone listening?

00:01:47Marc:Hello, Kate McKinnon.

00:01:49Marc:You're invited.

00:01:49Marc:Please come.

00:01:51Marc:The Spy Who Dumped Me, that opens in theaters on Friday.

00:01:56Marc:So, yeah, another big double show.

00:02:01Marc:I'm promoting it like it's a non-purpose double show, just so sometimes things fit together.

00:02:09Marc:Sometimes times work out.

00:02:13Marc:There are people that I try to get on that I want to get on that I just haven't gotten on yet.

00:02:17Marc:It's not that they don't want to come on.

00:02:18Marc:It's not that we haven't tried to get them on.

00:02:20Marc:It's just it hasn't happened.

00:02:22Marc:And sometimes I make mistakes.

00:02:24Marc:I didn't tell you about this.

00:02:25Marc:It was sort of on the down low, I guess.

00:02:27Marc:But I flew to the Montreal Comedy Festival Thursday morning.

00:02:31Marc:And I'm back already.

00:02:33Marc:I'm recording this on Saturday.

00:02:34Marc:I was not on the festival, but a couple weeks ago, the festival chief, the kingpin up there, Bruce, he texted me that the GLOW women, the women who created GLOW, Liz Flayhive and Carly Mench, were being awarded for the Comedy Writers of the Year at the Just for Last Comedy Festival.

00:02:53Marc:At first, he wanted their email so he could maybe kind of speed up the getting them the news to see if they wanted to come.

00:03:01Marc:And then I guess they requested that I come present them that award.

00:03:06Marc:And of course I would do that.

00:03:08Marc:But I haven't gotten that festival in a few years because I don't really do it anymore.

00:03:12Marc:And I don't... You know what?

00:03:13Marc:I might be wrong in not doing that.

00:03:16Marc:I tend to just go up and play Montreal once every year or two and not deal with the festival because it's exhausting and...

00:03:24Marc:And I used to put a lot of like it used to be very important to all of us to get into that festival and so stressful and every set mattered.

00:03:32Marc:And you always thought something was going to happen that didn't.

00:03:35Marc:Not for me anyways.

00:03:37Marc:But I just once I was able to sell some tickets, I sort of didn't care whether I went or not.

00:03:44Marc:But I'm getting around to the point.

00:03:47Marc:But I went and it was it was fun to just go up there and just have this little thing to do on Friday afternoon.

00:03:53Marc:I got in Thursday.

00:03:54Marc:I went to out to eat with Dino, Dean Del Rey, and I went to a Pied Couchon, a Pied Couchon, a Pied Couchon.

00:04:01Marc:I don't know how to say it.

00:04:02Marc:I don't know how to speak French.

00:04:04Marc:So that night I go do the alternative comedy show, which Andy Kindler hosts.

00:04:08Marc:I just did a 10-minute set.

00:04:09Marc:Lovely to see Andy and Jackie Cation and Moshe Cash was up there.

00:04:13Marc:These are people I see around here.

00:04:15Marc:But see, that's the thing I forget that I like to do.

00:04:18Marc:I like to hang out with comics.

00:04:21Marc:That's my entire social circle.

00:04:23Marc:If I hung out with more people more of the time, I wouldn't...

00:04:26Marc:I wouldn't get angry that I'm holding too much inside.

00:04:29Marc:I mean, you guys are my only friends.

00:04:31Marc:And Sarah, I mean, obviously, I'm closer to Sarah.

00:04:33Marc:But, you know, I don't talk to too many people.

00:04:36Marc:But you guys and Sarah need to spread it out.

00:04:39Marc:Open it up.

00:04:40Marc:So the next day, I got ready for the gig to present.

00:04:43Marc:I wrote a nice speech.

00:04:44Marc:It was touching.

00:04:44Marc:But I had no idea this award show would be so sweet.

00:04:48Marc:I presented Liz and Carly with their award.

00:04:51Marc:Howie Mandel presented Joe Coy with the Comedian of the Year of the Award.

00:04:54Marc:And then Maria Bamford presented Hannah Gatsby with the special of the year award.

00:05:02Marc:And then Dion Cole presented Lil Rel Howery with his breakout talent award.

00:05:10Marc:And then Kevin Hart literally flew in.

00:05:12Marc:He landed his private plane at the venue.

00:05:15Marc:Almost to present Tiffany Haddish with the Comedian of the Year Award.

00:05:21Marc:So I had never met Hannah.

00:05:24Marc:I hadn't seen a lot of people, but it was nice to meet Hannah.

00:05:27Marc:I thought I'd never met Tiffany Haddish, but this is where I make mistakes.

00:05:32Marc:I try to get people on, but apparently a few years ago.

00:05:35Marc:She approached me behind the comedy store.

00:05:37Marc:I think she was with friends and just told me, like, you know, I'm going to do your show.

00:05:40Marc:I want to do your podcast.

00:05:41Marc:I'm going to do your podcast.

00:05:42Marc:She was just in my face about it in a friendly way.

00:05:45Marc:And I was laughing.

00:05:46Marc:Apparently, I remember it vaguely.

00:05:48Marc:But I said, we'll see.

00:05:49Marc:We'll see what happens.

00:05:50Marc:And now she's like, of course, one of the biggest stars in comedy.

00:05:54Marc:And now it's like, I guess we're going to see.

00:05:56Marc:So she's into it.

00:05:59Marc:That was nice.

00:06:00Marc:Chappelle was around.

00:06:01Marc:It was nice to see him.

00:06:02Marc:Had some nice pictures with everybody.

00:06:05Marc:You know, with Chappelle on the podcast, I don't really ask him anymore.

00:06:08Marc:He knows.

00:06:09Marc:He knows.

00:06:10Marc:You know, we go way back, and I don't think he's the kind of guy that'll do it.

00:06:14Marc:But it was a...

00:06:15Marc:I guess my point is it's interesting and I don't know if you guys have this same situation because comedy is a very specific racket where it's not unlike high school.

00:06:26Marc:You sort of start out with people and then you see them here and there every year, every few years for decades.

00:06:34Marc:I mean, I hadn't seen some people in decades that I saw.

00:06:37Marc:I felt like it.

00:06:38Marc:At least 10 years.

00:06:39Marc:But they're all around.

00:06:40Marc:It's like, you know, there's always a reunion possible with comedy.

00:06:45Marc:And it's always interesting to see how people are aging and who's still alive and who's doing okay and who looks like they're barely hanging on.

00:06:53Marc:But, you know, I guess that's with everything.

00:06:54Marc:But there is a sort of community element to stand up that is unlike anything else.

00:07:01Marc:And it was certainly great to see everybody.

00:07:03Marc:But my point was, I do what I can to get people on.

00:07:07Marc:Now, maybe Tiffany Haddish will come on.

00:07:09Marc:Maybe in September she said she'd be free.

00:07:11Marc:Kevin Hart apparently wants to talk again.

00:07:13Marc:It's been years since I talked to him.

00:07:16Marc:It was before he was playing entire states from a large stage with speakers in every community.

00:07:23Marc:So it was nice.

00:07:26Marc:If you think you're empathetic, there's one way to really tell if you're empathetic.

00:07:35Marc:Well, there's a few, but maybe I'll tell you about that after I talk to Eliza here.

00:07:41Marc:Look, Eliza...

00:07:43Marc:is a comic.

00:07:44Marc:She's been on here, I think, once.

00:07:46Marc:She's a hard fucking worker and she delivers the goods, man.

00:07:50Marc:I mean, I flew back with it.

00:07:51Marc:That's the funniest thing about going in Montreal is that when I flew out on the first plane this morning, I'm so punchy.

00:07:58Marc:And there's always a good number of comics on this plane.

00:08:02Marc:It left at like 7.50, but they make you get to the airport like two hours early.

00:08:06Marc:So I'm up at like 4.30.

00:08:09Marc:I get to the airport at like 5.30.

00:08:10Marc:I check in.

00:08:11Marc:Of course, I got two hours to do nothing.

00:08:14Marc:I see Eliza's there.

00:08:15Marc:No one slept.

00:08:16Marc:I didn't go to the party.

00:08:17Marc:I slept a few hours, but not much.

00:08:20Marc:Maria and her husband Scott are there.

00:08:22Marc:Dion Cole's there.

00:08:23Marc:Marilyn Rice Cub is there.

00:08:26Marc:We're all on the plane.

00:08:28Marc:Everybody on the plane, agents and whatnot, just looking punchy.

00:08:32Marc:Today, it was as if Eliza and I woke up together.

00:08:36Marc:We didn't.

00:08:38Marc:We didn't.

00:08:39Marc:She just got married and, you know, I'm involved.

00:08:41Marc:But, you know, when you when you see somebody that early in the morning, you do get that.

00:08:45Marc:It's an odd feeling.

00:08:46Marc:It just felt like there was we all just spent the night together and I missed the party.

00:08:50Marc:So it actually did not happen at all.

00:08:53Marc:Eliza has a new Netflix special.

00:08:55Marc:It's called Eliza Elder Millennial.

00:08:57Marc:It's streaming now.

00:08:58Marc:And this is a little chat came by.

00:09:00Marc:She wanted to talk about the stuff and the thing.

00:09:03Marc:So here we are.

00:09:06Guest:you haven't had any coffee yet no oh but that's okay it's good this is nice nice it's better this way because you're you get the pleasure of of following me and your opening line is always like let's just take it down a notch so on the way here i was like let's see what happens when i'm not the bubbly cheerleader he knows me

00:09:29Marc:There's certain outros I have for everybody.

00:09:32Marc:No, it's totally fine.

00:09:33Marc:I take no offense.

00:09:34Marc:So, wait.

00:09:35Marc:Now, I haven't talked to you since you're married now.

00:09:38Marc:It happened.

00:09:41Guest:It did happen.

00:09:42Marc:And you didn't bring your dog?

00:09:45Guest:I didn't bring my dog because I woke up from a night full of nightmares, as I do.

00:09:49Guest:Really?

00:09:50Marc:Do you always have nightmares?

00:09:51Guest:Yeah, I don't have dreams.

00:09:53Guest:They're just always either... Like what?

00:09:55Marc:Like what's the common...

00:09:57Guest:I couldn't even tell you, but they're always just, they're either long and boring or they're nightmares.

00:10:01Guest:And I woke up this morning and I was like, and I was just like, you know what?

00:10:05Guest:We'll just go in there raw.

00:10:07Guest:We won't go in there.

00:10:09Guest:Charges caught.

00:10:09Guest:We won't bring the dog.

00:10:11Guest:We'll leave.

00:10:11Marc:Wow.

00:10:13Marc:I feel privileged or something.

00:10:15Guest:I was trying to match your energy.

00:10:17Marc:I thought the dog was coming.

00:10:19Marc:I didn't know if the husband was coming.

00:10:21Marc:I don't know when he's going to stop coming to the comedy store.

00:10:25Marc:We're all appreciating how supportive he is and seeing him around.

00:10:29Marc:He loves it.

00:10:30Guest:He does?

00:10:30Guest:He actually last night was saying, because all the male comics are like, yeah, one day you'll stop, but he is a fan of stand-up and didn't really know who I was when he met me, so it's not like I married a fan.

00:10:42Guest:But he was like one of his best friends.

00:10:43Guest:He's like, he's never seen a live show before, which is

00:10:45Guest:so weird to me when was this when you met him oh that's he's like i'm gonna bring a friend to the street to the store he goes and i think we'll stay the whole night we'll do like 8 to 11 or 8 to 2 and we'll just your husband's friend yeah and i was like do i have to be there's like no you can take off after your studies i think we'll stay till like a 1 a.m spot see some of the door guys and i was like whatever man yeah have a good time that place that place gets weird after 10 30 sure i'll arrange it

00:11:09Guest:Did they stay?

00:11:11Guest:No, they're going to.

00:11:12Guest:Oh.

00:11:13Guest:He came last night.

00:11:16Guest:That was his big idea.

00:11:17Guest:Well, how was the wedding?

00:11:19Guest:The wedding was beautiful.

00:11:20Guest:Where was it?

00:11:21Guest:Downtown.

00:11:22Marc:Downtown LA.

00:11:23Marc:How many people?

00:11:23Guest:Have you been married?

00:11:25Marc:Yeah, twice.

00:11:25Guest:Okay, so you know.

00:11:27Marc:I had one big one and one little one.

00:11:29Guest:I understand following- This is the big one.

00:11:32Guest:Oh, wait, you already- Yours.

00:11:33Guest:Oh, mine is the big one.

00:11:34Guest:Yeah.

00:11:34Guest:Sorry, you weren't invited.

00:11:35Guest:It's all right.

00:11:36Guest:I understand now why when people get married a second time, they don't do a big wedding.

00:11:41Marc:Yeah.

00:11:42Guest:You always see the woman, they're like, you know what?

00:11:43Guest:It was just the courthouse.

00:11:44Guest:I wore a seashell dress.

00:11:45Marc:Well, you don't want to disappoint 200 people again.

00:11:47Guest:And go through.

00:11:49Guest:And just, it is a gauntlet.

00:11:52Marc:Yeah.

00:11:53Guest:And I was saying this to somebody the other day.

00:11:56Guest:It's one of those things where once you've done it, you're an expert, but nobody wants your expert advice because everybody thinks that they, well, my wedding will be different.

00:12:04Marc:I was told one thing.

00:12:05Marc:I was told by my brother or somebody told him that during the wedding and after, during the party, don't stay together.

00:12:14Marc:Or else you're going to have a different experience.

00:12:17Guest:So spread out.

00:12:18Guest:Fan out.

00:12:18Marc:No, no.

00:12:19Marc:Just like stay with the person that you just married.

00:12:21Guest:Like stay married?

00:12:22Marc:Well, no.

00:12:22Marc:Like during the party and during all this stuff.

00:12:24Guest:Go together.

00:12:25Guest:Oh, we didn't do that.

00:12:27Marc:All right.

00:12:27Marc:Well, I'm not saying you did it wrong, but.

00:12:29Guest:Most of it was me being like, get on the dance floor.

00:12:32Guest:And it was me just alone dancing.

00:12:34Guest:Come on.

00:12:35Guest:Because there was a moment where the DJ did his job flawlessly and everybody was there.

00:12:40Guest:But I was like, I'm not paying you to do like a Time Warner collection of the 70s.

00:12:45Guest:Yeah.

00:12:45Guest:And I marched right up.

00:12:47Guest:I was like, you turn this off and you put on some Garth Brooks right now.

00:12:50Guest:Garth Brooks.

00:12:50Guest:Or some Korean pop because I want to dance.

00:12:53Guest:And the dance floor was evacuated and it was mostly me and like four people.

00:12:57Marc:Did they eventually come back around?

00:12:59Marc:No, but they're also older.

00:13:00Marc:Oh, did you carry the chair around?

00:13:02Marc:Did you do the Jew stuff?

00:13:03Guest:I've been talking about this a lot on stage.

00:13:05Guest:There were a lot of traditions that I refused.

00:13:08Guest:I didn't do the hora, and I didn't do the chair.

00:13:10Marc:No.

00:13:11Guest:I didn't like it at my bat mitzvah.

00:13:12Guest:I don't like it at other weddings.

00:13:14Marc:Why did you do it at your bat mitzvah?

00:13:16Marc:You did the chair at your bat mitzvah?

00:13:17Guest:I think they did it at my brother's.

00:13:19Guest:I just have a memory of not enjoying it.

00:13:20Marc:the chair thing.

00:13:21Guest:And the horror, I said this to my mom and she was like, you're a crazy person.

00:13:25Guest:To me, it just seems like how fast can we go hoping someone trips?

00:13:30Marc:Yeah.

00:13:30Guest:Because that's all I want to see.

00:13:32Marc:Right, right.

00:13:32Marc:When's someone going to hurt themselves?

00:13:34Guest:Yeah.

00:13:35Marc:So how many people went?

00:13:37Guest:I think it was like around 140.

00:13:38Marc:A lot of people come in from Texas?

00:13:40Guest:Just some friends.

00:13:42Marc:Yeah.

00:13:42Guest:You know, my dad and my stepmom and some people.

00:13:46Guest:But it was a beautiful wedding.

00:13:48Guest:Things always go wrong, but for the most part, everything went right.

00:13:50Marc:The food was all right?

00:13:52Guest:The food, yeah.

00:13:53Marc:What went wrong?

00:13:54Guest:What went wrong?

00:13:55Guest:This is such, like, I feel like people turn off of this.

00:13:59Guest:My big thing is when you pay for something, you should get what you pay for.

00:14:01Guest:Yeah.

00:14:02Guest:our cake was beautiful yeah i don't like chocolate right and it makes me like a bad female yeah and we cut into it and like as in the picture you can see my eyes going wide because there was just a layer of chocolate under like the fondant yeah yeah and i was like what is that and it was a layer i got like a passion fruit cake yeah it was just a layer of ganache i was like what the fuck is this yeah

00:14:25Guest:And so we wrote to the cake baker after, and they were like, if you look in our contract, you see our signature move is a layer of chocolate ganache in every cake.

00:14:35Guest:And I was like, cool, my signature move is that I don't pay my baker.

00:14:38Guest:Like, fuck you.

00:14:39Guest:Where do you get off adding that?

00:14:41Guest:It's a little bit of cat pee we sprinkle on the top.

00:14:43Guest:Yeah.

00:14:45Marc:But that didn't ruin everything.

00:14:46Guest:I definitely went around and ate around it on several pieces of cake.

00:14:50Marc:Did he swam a piece of cake into your face?

00:14:53Guest:The first week we were dating, I said, if we ever get married, just so you know, I'm not that girl.

00:15:00Guest:Do not do that to me.

00:15:03Guest:You spend time on hair and makeup to have some schmuck be like, this is funny, it's in your face now.

00:15:10Marc:i just you didn't do it didn't did you put it in a slam in his face no i would never i just think it's barbaric uh-huh we didn't do it the food he's a chef it's cute it's not cute it's it's spitting in the face of the hair and makeup you did all right okay i understand i understand you know i i think that you're speaking for a lot of women maybe

00:15:32Guest:Okay, so it would be like if you step on the glass and then immediately the girl kicked you in the dick.

00:15:36Guest:Like, isn't this funny?

00:15:37Guest:I was so excited all day.

00:15:40Marc:That sounds painful.

00:15:41Guest:It's worse, for sure.

00:15:42Marc:He stepped on the glass, though, right?

00:15:44Guest:He did.

00:15:45Guest:He's not fully Jewish.

00:15:47Marc:Oh, really?

00:15:47Marc:Really?

00:15:48Guest:He's half Jewish and barely like didn't have a bar mitzvah, nothing.

00:15:51Guest:But with the yarmulke on in the picture and like a lot of Jewish outlets picked up the picture.

00:15:56Guest:Yeah.

00:15:56Guest:It looks like I married like Barry Rosenstein.

00:15:59Guest:Like he looks so Jewish.

00:16:01Marc:He does look a little Jewish to me.

00:16:03Guest:Yeah.

00:16:03Guest:I look at the nose and I'm like, it's an Italian nose.

00:16:06Marc:Yeah.

00:16:06Guest:And then I think about my original nose and like what our kids might have.

00:16:10Marc:Oh, wow.

00:16:11Guest:So I hope that they're just really good at sports.

00:16:13Marc:When are you going to do that?

00:16:14Marc:When are you going to do kids?

00:16:15Marc:Really?

00:16:15Marc:Are you thinking about it?

00:16:16Guest:No, no.

00:16:16Guest:But just hypothetically, I'm like, if that ever.

00:16:18Marc:Hypothetically, I mean, are you going to have them?

00:16:20Guest:I don't know.

00:16:21Marc:Come on.

00:16:21Marc:What do you mean you don't know?

00:16:22Guest:Why does everybody ask me that?

00:16:24Marc:I don't know.

00:16:24Marc:Maybe you should write 20 minutes on it.

00:16:26Guest:I don't want to.

00:16:27Guest:Ladies, does this bother you?

00:16:30Guest:Insert pussy comment here.

00:16:32Marc:No, but because it's a natural thought because a lot of people just connected to.

00:16:37Guest:I think it's one of those things like marriage that I just assume will happen when it does.

00:16:42Guest:I don't think anyone ever has like that right time, especially.

00:16:45Marc:I guess some people are like, I'm having them now.

00:16:48I know.

00:16:48Marc:Like some people, all they want is kids.

00:16:50Guest:It is a truth that educated women are breeding themselves out because they are waiting and then you can't do it.

00:16:56Guest:Is that true?

00:16:57Guest:It is a fact.

00:16:58Guest:And I get it because there's a certain amount of time it takes to, I went to just for your college, but your education and you have a career that in this case is such a part of who I am.

00:17:10Yeah.

00:17:10Guest:So, you know, you have to shelve it for a little bit, not that it was ever a goal, but I guess I would let, I think it'd be, I held a baby the other day.

00:17:17Guest:Yeah.

00:17:17Guest:And it was very squishy.

00:17:18Marc:Was it?

00:17:19Marc:Was it good?

00:17:19Guest:And I was like, look at this baby.

00:17:21Guest:And he was like, do you want one?

00:17:22Guest:I was like, not now, we're at a barbecue.

00:17:24Marc:Yeah.

00:17:25Marc:But that baby was cool.

00:17:26Marc:Yeah.

00:17:27Guest:So I don't know.

00:17:27Marc:But you didn't feel, you didn't feel warm and...

00:17:30Guest:i don't get that i talk about this as well but i don't get it like other women are like oh it's a child i'm like oh it's crying yeah oh this is the worst yeah yeah uh and i don't man maybe just too selfish for it maybe maybe you got a garage maybe you have to have the kid and then you see it i don't know that's what people say you'll get the hang of it i'm like i don't want to throw those i don't have kids i'm 54 and i and i don't ever regret it no you still could but they will be autistic

00:17:55Marc:I don't know.

00:17:56Marc:Maybe they will.

00:17:56Marc:But, like, I mean, I'm sure I could.

00:17:58Marc:But, like, it's exhausting.

00:17:59Marc:I'm going to be worried all the time.

00:18:01Marc:I'm like, I'm already worried about things.

00:18:04Marc:You know what I mean?

00:18:04Marc:I'm a self-involved person.

00:18:06Marc:And it's not everybody's destiny to have fucking kids.

00:18:09Marc:Absolutely.

00:18:11Guest:It's a thought.

00:18:12Guest:It's something I don't know.

00:18:13Marc:But you could also just hire people to handle them.

00:18:17Marc:I would.

00:18:18Marc:Yeah, just parent these things.

00:18:20Marc:What is this thing you're telling me about?

00:18:21Marc:You said you had a stalker.

00:18:23Guest:Is that something you're talking about?

00:18:24Guest:I was like, I'm going to text Mark Maron because I want to promote my special, but I need it in my head.

00:18:28Guest:I was like, and I got to throw in something else.

00:18:30Guest:Also, I have a stalker.

00:18:31Guest:What's this special called?

00:18:32Guest:Special called Elder Millennial.

00:18:34Guest:On Netflix?

00:18:34Guest:Yeah.

00:18:35Guest:So... This your third one?

00:18:37Guest:It's my fourth one.

00:18:38Guest:Uh-huh.

00:18:39Guest:For Netflix?

00:18:39Guest:It's my fourth child.

00:18:40Guest:Yep.

00:18:41Guest:Well, the first one was an acquisition, but still technically for Netflix.

00:18:44Marc:Okay, okay, yeah.

00:18:45Marc:When did you record this?

00:18:46Guest:We recorded it in February aboard the USS Hornet, which is a retired aircraft carrier.

00:18:51Guest:Why there?

00:18:53Guest:I do a lot of USO shows and a couple years ago we landed on the Stennis in the Persian Gulf and we did a show for like a thousand of our troops and I remember thinking it was really special to get to do that this last Christmas we did one on the Teddy Roosevelt so similar type of ship and

00:19:09Guest:and netflix when i was going to do this hour they're like you know we want really big production value and i was like oh cool it's not enough that i invented an hour of laughter with my brain yeah we have to have shiny lights right so i was like what if we did it in bagram like what if we don't army base they're like a logistical nightmare for civilians so we couldn't do it and then my manager was like well you like that ship so we went and found another aircraft carrier and we decided to do it there did you bring servicemen on

00:19:34Guest:I mean, people are invited.

00:19:36Guest:We couldn't do them in uniform.

00:19:37Guest:There's like logistical reasons and the USO gets involved.

00:19:41Guest:So we did it like on the second deck of the ship.

00:19:44Guest:And it is in its regular hours.

00:19:47Guest:It is a museum.

00:19:49Guest:So there's all these old fighter planes in the background.

00:19:52Guest:Interesting.

00:19:52Guest:And it was freezing.

00:19:53Guest:Yeah.

00:19:54Guest:And it was the only time stage lights didn't make me sweat.

00:19:57Guest:I was so, I couldn't feel my fucking toes.

00:20:00Guest:Really?

00:20:00Guest:I couldn't wipe my nose.

00:20:02Guest:This was in Alameda in Oakland.

00:20:04Marc:Huh.

00:20:04Guest:just cold in february it was just cold um and so you're sitting there thinking like every other time i've ever performed you're sweating through your shirt you're hot i couldn't wipe my nose because i didn't want to ruin the makeup i was freezing you got a real issue with not ruining makeup yeah we yeah spent so much time

00:20:21Guest:It's like in a second wedding.

00:20:22Guest:And so that's where we shot it.

00:20:23Guest:And we're donating a portion of the proceeds to Team Rubicon, which is a military charity that helps vets and enables them to help us when there's a natural disaster.

00:20:33Marc:Oh, wow.

00:20:34Marc:Put them to work versus your neighbor.

00:20:35Marc:Well, that sounds good.

00:20:36Marc:You happy with it?

00:20:38Guest:I don't know.

00:20:39Marc:You don't know?

00:20:39Guest:Did you watch it?

00:20:41Guest:Yeah, I was in the edit.

00:20:43Guest:It was six months ago, so it may as well have been- Before you were married.

00:20:46Marc:A lifetime ago.

00:20:47Marc:Right, I know, I know.

00:20:48Marc:It's already done.

00:20:49Guest:You know.

00:20:49Marc:I do know.

00:20:51Marc:Yeah, I mean, I liked my last special, but it's so weird that you do the special, and then all of a sudden it's behind you.

00:20:58Marc:Most of the material's behind you.

00:21:00Yes!

00:21:00Guest:And nobody gets so they're like, I'm proud of what I did.

00:21:02Guest:I'm sure I will look great.

00:21:04Guest:I put a lot of love into that special.

00:21:07Guest:But six months ago.

00:21:07Guest:So now the jokes are foreign because they're changed or they're gone.

00:21:10Marc:Yeah.

00:21:11Marc:And it was like a night.

00:21:12Guest:Yeah.

00:21:13Guest:You know, so I'm proud of it.

00:21:14Guest:They'll love it.

00:21:15Guest:But just know that when you see me live, like it's not that special anymore.

00:21:18Guest:Yeah.

00:21:18Marc:Do people expect that, though?

00:21:19Marc:I can never tell.

00:21:20Marc:I don't know what to think.

00:21:22Marc:Some people think they want to hear some of that stuff.

00:21:25Marc:Yeah, like a song.

00:21:25Marc:Yeah, but I'm always like, no, I've got to do all new.

00:21:28Marc:And then they're like, why didn't you do the thing that we like?

00:21:30Guest:I always figure, because they'll ask me and I never answer, because I'm like, it's cool that you were able to get a hold of me over a direct message, but I don't owe you a response.

00:21:37Guest:I'm going to come see you.

00:21:38Marc:Anyone can get a hold of us anytime.

00:21:40Guest:It's weird.

00:21:40Guest:I'm going to come see you in Edmonton.

00:21:42Guest:Will this be the same thing on Netflix or should I not watch it?

00:21:46Guest:And it's like, I don't know if you want a yes or no answer.

00:21:49Guest:I don't know if you want to see the same thing or if you want to see it different.

00:21:51Guest:So 50% chance you'll be happy.

00:21:54Marc:Right.

00:21:55Marc:Well, no, I think they want to see different, but then like, I don't know, because I'm trying to think when I was a kid and I'd listen to, you know,

00:22:02Marc:comedy records and i go see a comic oh that only happened a couple times but you i could listen to certain comedy records over and over again with other people not by myself necessarily but like dude you gotta listen to this right so you sit there and listen to it with somebody and look at their face and then laugh when they laugh but i don't know if people want to hear the same shit i think

00:22:22Guest:I do know fans watch it over and over.

00:22:24Guest:I get the screen grabs of it.

00:22:25Guest:So they watch old specials over and over.

00:22:28Guest:But I think that's different because you know the delicious punchline that's coming.

00:22:31Guest:Right, right.

00:22:32Guest:I think that's different versus... I heard it once on your special and now seeing it live.

00:22:37Guest:Live is always different.

00:22:38Marc:It is.

00:22:39Guest:I happen to think I'm better live than on...

00:22:41Marc:I think so.

00:22:41Marc:I think I am too.

00:22:42Marc:Though, I mean, I think that as with these Netflix specials, I think I did pretty good last time.

00:22:47Marc:I think it was a pretty good representation to me.

00:22:49Marc:But I'm not, like when I did five minute spots, like on Letterman and stuff, it's like that you can't, there's no way.

00:22:55Guest:People don't get that either.

00:22:57Guest:Like you're a storyteller.

00:22:58Marc:Yeah.

00:22:59Marc:Like you are.

00:22:59Marc:But also, you know, you got to get into it and like sort of get, yeah, get the arc going.

00:23:04Guest:Well, that's like for you, you're a storyteller and you're intelligent.

00:23:07Guest:I'm a storyteller as well.

00:23:08Guest:Some comics are set up punch.

00:23:10Guest:Yeah.

00:23:10Guest:That works great for TV.

00:23:12Guest:But my note is always like, you got to trim this down.

00:23:14Guest:And I'm like, how am I supposed to establish this world?

00:23:17Marc:Exactly.

00:23:17Marc:You just pull these pieces out of larger bits.

00:23:19Guest:Yeah.

00:23:19Guest:It's so inorganic.

00:23:21Marc:Yeah.

00:23:21Marc:So wait, so what is this stalker thing?

00:23:23Marc:Is that real?

00:23:24Marc:Can you talk about it?

00:23:24Marc:What if I lied just so I could come to your house?

00:23:26Marc:That's fine.

00:23:26Marc:And be your stalker.

00:23:27Marc:You'll be a stalker.

00:23:28Guest:I felt like that standing at your front door.

00:23:29Guest:I was just staring at your cat.

00:23:31Marc:I was like in here getting ready for you to come.

00:23:33Marc:You're just looking at Buster.

00:23:35Guest:He was looking at me and I was like, go get him.

00:23:37Marc:Yeah, go get Mark.

00:23:37Marc:Did you buzz the buzzer?

00:23:39Guest:I'm not a lawyer.

00:23:39Guest:I'm not loyal.

00:23:41Guest:Okay, so here's the story because this is... Are you going to get in trouble by telling it?

00:23:44Marc:Is it going to make things worse?

00:23:46Guest:Only if he's listening.

00:23:47Marc:Oh.

00:23:48Guest:But fuck him.

00:23:51Guest:Okay, so this starts...

00:23:54Guest:A year ago, I was in Las Vegas.

00:23:56Guest:I was playing and I was about a minute into my set and a man sort of drifted over to the apron of the stage.

00:24:05Guest:And I remember he was in a suit because I just thought to myself, that's weird.

00:24:09Guest:Yeah.

00:24:10Guest:In a suit.

00:24:11Guest:And we'll classify that as like a heckler.

00:24:14Marc:Right.

00:24:16Marc:He's up.

00:24:16Marc:He's standing.

00:24:17Marc:Everyone else is sitting down.

00:24:18Marc:He walks.

00:24:18Guest:And I was a minute in.

00:24:19Guest:It's not like there's something to participate.

00:24:21Marc:Just got up there.

00:24:22Guest:I go.

00:24:23Guest:And my thing is like talk over the heckler.

00:24:25Guest:Do not give them the chance.

00:24:25Marc:Was he talking?

00:24:27Guest:I couldn't hear it.

00:24:28Guest:Yeah.

00:24:28Guest:If he was saying anything and he wasn't trying.

00:24:30Guest:He was just talking at me.

00:24:31Guest:And I was like, this guy's drunk.

00:24:32Guest:Yeah.

00:24:33Guest:So I go, this guy's drunk.

00:24:34Guest:Let's go.

00:24:34Guest:Get him out of here.

00:24:35Guest:Yeah.

00:24:35Guest:Security flanking me doesn't move.

00:24:37Guest:Yeah.

00:24:37Yeah.

00:24:37Guest:I don't know if they thought it was part of the act or what.

00:24:39Guest:I go, hey.

00:24:40Guest:And I yell at him.

00:24:41Guest:I go, get this fucking nut out of here.

00:24:43Marc:A minute in.

00:24:44Guest:They take him.

00:24:45Guest:And I watch them walk him back to his seat.

00:24:47Guest:I go, not back to his seat.

00:24:49Guest:Out of the fucking theater.

00:24:50Guest:Like, I'm working on an hour.

00:24:52Marc:Yeah.

00:24:52Guest:And I'm irritated.

00:24:53Marc:And this is how the show is opening.

00:24:54Guest:Yes.

00:24:55Guest:And the crowd's like, is this part?

00:24:57Guest:Is this performance art?

00:24:58Guest:What's happening?

00:24:58Guest:So, shelf that idea.

00:24:59Guest:So, that happened.

00:25:00Guest:And I get, you know, people do weird things.

00:25:02Guest:Things happen.

00:25:02Guest:Whatever.

00:25:04Guest:Um...

00:25:05Guest:And about five months ago, I get a phone call from our manager from the FBI.

00:25:13Guest:And she says, from the Las Vegas FBI, and she says, there has been, and I feel, this is so weird, this is such a comic thought.

00:25:20Guest:I feel like an asshole even saying this.

00:25:22Guest:Allegedly, there has been a mass shooting threat

00:25:26Guest:and you're named in it, a man has threatened to shoot up a space in Las Vegas should you ever come back to Las Vegas, and he wants to do it in your name.

00:25:36Marc:Because of what you did?

00:25:38Guest:He loves you.

00:25:38Guest:Oh, because he loves you.

00:25:39Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:41Marc:He wasn't upset because he had to sit back down.

00:25:43Guest:Yeah, or because the comedy's bad.

00:25:45Guest:Even saying that, I feel like people listen, like, who does she think she is?

00:25:50Guest:She's shooting your name.

00:25:51Guest:You're not that special.

00:25:52Marc:To this one guy you were.

00:25:54Guest:so right so special and it gets worse so uh they want to do a shooting and he was gonna it's alleged it's like secondhand information it was a facebook post that he would do a mass shooting and obviously we're very sensitive to that in this country particularly in las vegas this is after the one that happened um and she said and she named him i'm not gonna say the guy's name and she described him yeah 510 african-american and she told me his name yeah and it clicked and i go that's the guy that was at the front of the stage he's obsessed with you

00:26:22Guest:So I go, okay, well, I'm not planning on playing Las Vegas anytime soon.

00:26:27Guest:I'm sure this will go away.

00:26:29Guest:A couple months later, I get a phone call.

00:26:31Guest:Hey, come back.

00:26:31Guest:Play Las Vegas.

00:26:34Guest:I go, okay.

00:26:35Guest:So I call the casino and I say, you know, can we put in metal detectors?

00:26:37Guest:They're like, no.

00:26:38Guest:I was like, okay.

00:26:39Guest:I will have to hire my own security.

00:26:42Guest:So I have a lot of the problems of a major celebrity with the budget of a minor celebrity.

00:26:47Guest:So I hire extra security.

00:26:49Guest:And I forget about it.

00:26:51Guest:Vegas is a ways away.

00:26:52Guest:This was a couple weeks ago I played it.

00:26:54Guest:Whatever.

00:26:55Guest:And I forgot about it.

00:26:57Guest:And...

00:26:58Guest:three weeks ago i'm sitting at home with my assistant and there's a knock at the door and it wasn't a knock like you would like for amazon it was a like a hairy hard fast one and something about the knock was weird to me my assistant goes to the door she looks in the peephole and she opens it which i wouldn't have done but fair enough yeah and she yells up to me there's no one here and there's no package

00:27:21Guest:I am not street smart.

00:27:24Guest:I didn't grow up like I'm not a criminal.

00:27:26Guest:I don't have that kind of brain.

00:27:28Guest:Yeah.

00:27:29Guest:But something didn't sit right with me.

00:27:31Guest:So I put on my shoes and I go, I'll be right back.

00:27:33Guest:And I go outside.

00:27:35Guest:Why I went outside, like why that's a good idea, I don't know.

00:27:38Guest:But in my mind, because I live in a nice enough area that people steal our mail, like we all block mailboxes, people steal packages.

00:27:44Guest:In my mind, I was looking for someone who,

00:27:48Guest:maybe on drugs, running back and forth, knocking on doors, just being a crazy person.

00:27:52Guest:And that I'm not afraid of.

00:27:53Marc:Yeah.

00:27:53Guest:Right.

00:27:54Marc:Because it's got nothing to do with you.

00:27:55Guest:Yeah.

00:27:56Guest:So I go outside and that's what I'm looking for.

00:27:57Guest:And I see down the road, a man in a black shirt and a man in a red shirt.

00:28:02Guest:I don't see what their color of their skin is or anything.

00:28:04Guest:I just see two men.

00:28:04Guest:Yeah.

00:28:05Guest:So I yell for my neighbor who always has his door open.

00:28:08Guest:He's a big guy.

00:28:08Guest:I was like, come out here and stand with me.

00:28:11Guest:So he comes out.

00:28:12Marc:Drag the neighbor in.

00:28:13Guest:Well, he's like ready to go.

00:28:14Guest:He's got a truck.

00:28:15Marc:He's ready to go.

00:28:16Marc:He's looking for trouble.

00:28:17Guest:I know.

00:28:18Guest:And he's cool.

00:28:18Guest:And he comes out and I go, just stand with me.

00:28:20Guest:And I found myself like instinctively kind of standing behind him.

00:28:23Guest:But the guy in the red shirt starts to walk back to us.

00:28:26Guest:And it was weird because I and this might be a problem.

00:28:28Guest:I wasn't scared.

00:28:29Guest:I was curious.

00:28:30Guest:Sure.

00:28:31Guest:And I'm staring at him and my neighbor goes, hey, man, are you knocking on people's doors?

00:28:35Guest:Like being cool.

00:28:36Guest:And the guy, you could tell was on drugs.

00:28:38Guest:You could just tell.

00:28:39Guest:And he was waving a dollar around, which is not something normal people do.

00:28:42Guest:And he goes, no, are you stealing people's dogs?

00:28:45Guest:And I was like, oh, okay, there's the proof.

00:28:47Guest:You're a crazy person.

00:28:48Guest:That makes no sense.

00:28:49Guest:Are you stealing people's dogs?

00:28:50Guest:I'm like, okay, goodbye.

00:28:51Guest:So he leaves and my neighbor turns to me and he goes, you should call the cops.

00:28:55Guest:And I'm like, for what?

00:28:56Guest:Like, this is L.A.

00:28:57Guest:People are getting raped all the time.

00:28:59Guest:Right.

00:29:00Guest:I'm not going to call the cops.

00:29:01Guest:He goes, you should just so they have a record, you know, and it's our block and whatever.

00:29:04Guest:I go, OK.

00:29:05Guest:But had he not said this, none of this would have transpired.

00:29:08Guest:So I call the cops and I say there are two men and I see them in the distance kind of walking where I go and they're on drugs and they're

00:29:15Guest:terrorizing but they're knocking on people's doors or doing something weird yeah and and and and whatever so i hang up the phone 15 minutes later i get a knock at my door and it's two police officers and the cop looks at me and he goes how do you know and he named the guy from las vegas

00:29:32Guest:How do you know Bob Smith?

00:29:35Guest:And I just started crying.

00:29:36Guest:I was like, why are you saying that name to me?

00:29:38Guest:And the guy that I interacted with was Latino.

00:29:42Guest:He was not African American.

00:29:44Guest:And I was like, why are you saying that name?

00:29:45Guest:And he was like, well, that's who's down the hill with the guy that knocked on your door.

00:29:49Guest:And I was trying to get the words out.

00:29:53Guest:Like FBI, they called me and I was like, get in your fucking car and go shoot him in the face.

00:29:57Guest:Go arrest him.

00:29:58Guest:So they run.

00:29:59Guest:Yeah.

00:30:00Guest:And they arrest him a block from my house.

00:30:02Guest:These guys were just hanging out.

00:30:04Guest:Right.

00:30:04Guest:They come back.

00:30:05Guest:I have to explain the whole story to them.

00:30:07Guest:I get in the car.

00:30:08Marc:What can they hold them for?

00:30:10Guest:So, well, they detain him.

00:30:12Guest:So he's in handcuffs.

00:30:13Guest:They put me in the car.

00:30:14Guest:I've never been in a cop car before, which was kind of crazy.

00:30:16Guest:The seats are not made of regular seat leather.

00:30:19Guest:They are plastic and hard.

00:30:21Guest:The cop said to me, it makes them easier to wipe down.

00:30:24Guest:And I was like, woof.

00:30:25Guest:So I get in the car and I go and identify them.

00:30:28Guest:And I know who he is because he's my stalker.

00:30:30Guest:And the other guy I just saw a minute ago.

00:30:33Guest:And so they take him away.

00:30:35Guest:My guy, we'll keep calling him Bob Smith, is...

00:30:38Guest:a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic.

00:30:40Guest:He believes that we're married, and he believes that I had his dogs.

00:30:45Guest:He met that guy.

00:30:46Guest:He took a bus to L.A.

00:30:48Guest:that morning to come find me.

00:30:50Marc:Yeah.

00:30:50Marc:So they held him on a... Because of the dog.

00:30:53Marc:Because of the dog, but I also think that was a lie, but even if it wasn't... No, they walk in, it's a purpose.

00:30:59Guest:And they went on his Facebook page.

00:31:01Marc:Yeah.

00:31:01Guest:He had been... I went on his Instagram and I saw that I had blocked his Instagram, meaning at some point in the last year or so, he annoyed me enough as just a fan that I blocked him.

00:31:12Guest:Right.

00:31:12Guest:Not registering who it was.

00:31:14Guest:His Facebook page is replete with just...

00:31:17Guest:My post naming me using weird religious language, the word kill appears a lot.

00:31:24Guest:Mysteriously, the shooting threat has been removed.

00:31:28Guest:So part of me is like, that's the thing that would get someone.

00:31:31Guest:But you had the wherewithal to take that down.

00:31:34Guest:So they hold him on a psychiatric hold.

00:31:36Guest:For those of you listening, it's called a 5150.

00:31:37Guest:And they held him for days and they held him all the way through me being Las Vegas.

00:31:41Guest:So I'm sitting there thinking like, oh, cool.

00:31:42Guest:I spent all this money on like extra security.

00:31:45Marc:And now the guy's under surveillance.

00:31:49Guest:Under surveillance.

00:31:50Guest:When he was lucid and he doesn't take his medicine, he won't take it.

00:31:54Guest:And that's why he's... I get it.

00:31:57Guest:I understand that it might be really horrible if you think the world is the way it is and people tell you that you're wrong and that's your mental illness and you're like, no, and I don't want to be fuzzy.

00:32:06Guest:But this is what happened with him and what irritates me is

00:32:11Guest:is that the cops questioned him.

00:32:13Guest:They're like, do you know what you did is wrong?

00:32:14Guest:Do you know that you're scaring her?

00:32:15Guest:He's like, yeah.

00:32:16Guest:They're like, are you going to go home to Las Vegas?

00:32:18Guest:He's like, I think I'm going to stay in LA and try to make a life here.

00:32:20Guest:But he is a homeless man.

00:32:22Guest:Like there is no.

00:32:23Guest:And he said, and they said, how did you get her address?

00:32:27Guest:And every time they ask him, no matter how lucid he is, he just says, it just came to me.

00:32:31Guest:So he knows enough to not give up that piece of information.

00:32:34Marc:Right.

00:32:35Guest:Cops keep saying to me, it's not hard to get an address, but I tried and it's not that easy.

00:32:40Guest:So I went, they give you a temporary restraining order for like three days.

00:32:43Guest:So I went to the court to get a restraining order.

00:32:47Guest:And what was eye opening was the amount of people there, a lot of whom did not speak English, who were seeking these restraining orders.

00:32:56Guest:For situations that are so much more severe, like my husband raped my kid and they're killing me.

00:33:03Guest:I fill out the paperwork and I waited five hours and I was denied a restraining order because I guess until they rape you in the face.

00:33:10Guest:That's right.

00:33:12Marc:Yeah, you can't do anything.

00:33:13Guest:Can't do anything.

00:33:13Guest:And so the morning my Netflix special comes out on the 24th is my court date at 830.

00:33:17Marc:Oh, exciting.

00:33:18Guest:And I'm going to be there with all my paperwork.

00:33:20Marc:I've already like- For the restraining order.

00:33:22Guest:For restraining order.

00:33:22Guest:I've already prepared like a James Spader dissertation, like a la Boston Legal.

00:33:27Guest:Because I deserve to at least have this piece of paper.

00:33:30Marc:Feel safe.

00:33:31Marc:Yeah.

00:33:32Marc:It's very weird with the mental problems and the people that show up, that if they don't break the law-

00:33:37Guest:He didn't break the law.

00:33:39Marc:They don't trespass, right.

00:33:40Marc:You can't, but there's nothing you can do.

00:33:42Guest:There's nothing you can do.

00:33:43Guest:My argument would be, yes, he didn't break the law, but since going on his permanent record isn't harming him since he is a homeless person who doesn't seek to better himself.

00:33:53Marc:Mentally ill person.

00:33:54Guest:Mentally ill and homeless.

00:33:55Guest:Why not give me this?

00:33:56Guest:That way, if he does swing the other way in a year from now, because it's stalking me over a period of years, why not at least let me feel protected?

00:34:05Marc:Yeah, and has anything happened since he was locked up?

00:34:09Guest:So they, a couple days ago, released him.

00:34:11Marc:Yeah, oh, really?

00:34:12Marc:Just so this is new?

00:34:13Guest:Yeah, his father took a bus here to try to find him.

00:34:17Guest:Like, he's on the streets now.

00:34:18Marc:Yeah.

00:34:19Guest:And you're just sort of banking, hoping that he doesn't retain or hadn't written down your address and doesn't decide, nope, gotta get those dogs.

00:34:27Guest:Yeah.

00:34:28Guest:So, like, comedy club, like, I won't let it affect anything.

00:34:30Guest:Like, I'll still do my job, but, like, I am not hard to find.

00:34:33Guest:Yeah.

00:34:33Marc:No, that's the thing.

00:34:34Marc:And there's other women that go through this.

00:34:36Marc:I mean, we know people.

00:34:38Marc:I mean, I know a few people that have this problem.

00:34:42Marc:And the accessibility is very scary.

00:34:44Guest:The accessibility and what was even scarier, I was sitting in that room with all these people seeking restraining orders.

00:34:50Guest:And I posted something about this on Instagram and then I took it down.

00:34:53Guest:But the amount of responses from everyday people...

00:34:57Guest:women in particular oh yeah i have a stalker oh yeah he walked through my house cops told me to get over it oh he did regular people it's just part of it part of your existence that you're gonna have someone who's obsessed with you i was at the gym yesterday yeah and i come downstairs and it's like a courtyard where all these stores are and i'm standing there on the phone and the guy who knocked on my door just walks right past me

00:35:18Marc:The Latino guy?

00:35:19Marc:Uh-huh.

00:35:20Marc:Come on.

00:35:20Guest:He walked right past me.

00:35:21Marc:So they're in it together?

00:35:22Guest:No, I think he's homeless and my neighborhood is his area.

00:35:26Guest:Oh, I see.

00:35:26Marc:Oh, I get it.

00:35:27Marc:Yeah.

00:35:27Guest:And again, I wasn't scared, but it was just that universe reminding you like, yeah, you got to live among it.

00:35:32Guest:Yeah.

00:35:33Guest:You got to live amongst these people.

00:35:34Guest:There's nothing you can do.

00:35:35Guest:And he just kind of bopped by.

00:35:36Guest:He didn't recognize me.

00:35:37Marc:The other guy probably put him up to it.

00:35:39Guest:I don't think so.

00:35:40Guest:I think they don't know each other.

00:35:41Guest:I think they smoke meth together.

00:35:43Guest:The cop, when they arrested him, the cop goes... I was like, is there anything you can hold him on?

00:35:48Guest:He goes, he has a meth pipe in his pocket, but there's no meth in it.

00:35:52Guest:So we think he was just holding it for a friend.

00:35:54Guest:And I was like, oh, so now that excuse works?

00:35:57Guest:Not in high school when you're holding things for your friends?

00:36:00Marc:But now we buy it?

00:36:01Marc:Oh, boy.

00:36:02Marc:I don't know.

00:36:03Marc:It's scary because...

00:36:06Marc:Someone else we know, this goes on for years.

00:36:08Marc:She just integrated into her life.

00:36:11Marc:It's kind of receded a bit, but it is what it is.

00:36:14Guest:It's just hanging there.

00:36:15Marc:She's done everything you can do.

00:36:16Guest:Hovering, yeah.

00:36:17Marc:It's like a family of them.

00:36:18Marc:It's a bizarre story.

00:36:19Guest:That is bizarre.

00:36:22Guest:It is a weird thing, and it's weird that a lot of people have to deal with it.

00:36:25Guest:And what also was weird was the amount...

00:36:27Guest:One cop was like, you need to get a gun.

00:36:29Guest:And I was like, are you supposed to advise me on that?

00:36:32Guest:The amount of people that are like, just, yeah, get that gun.

00:36:34Guest:People that you wouldn't think.

00:36:36Guest:Friends, neighbors.

00:36:36Marc:Would you get one?

00:36:37Guest:I went shooting on 4th of July.

00:36:40Marc:Is it good?

00:36:42Guest:I mean, I've shot guns before.

00:36:43Guest:Yeah, me too.

00:36:43Guest:I don't love it.

00:36:45Marc:Yeah.

00:36:45Guest:I don't think I would get a gun.

00:36:48Guest:My husband is opposed to getting a gun.

00:36:49Guest:Of course, the odds of me accidentally either shooting myself or, in fact, arming my assailant.

00:36:54Guest:Yeah, or that.

00:36:56Marc:Accidentally.

00:36:57Guest:Yeah.

00:36:58Guest:I got bear spray.

00:36:59Guest:Oh, that's good.

00:37:00Guest:The cop was like, that's badass.

00:37:02Guest:And I got the kind that, like, leaves a paint mark.

00:37:05Marc:Oh, really?

00:37:06Marc:You stun and mark the bear?

00:37:08Guest:Yeah, well, that way, if they catch them later, he can't deny it because it's on your skin.

00:37:12Guest:Right.

00:37:13Guest:And I got mace.

00:37:14Guest:But, you know, the gun thing is, I think we all have this fantasy that, like, I just, you know, I dropped that clip out, I reloaded, I shoot it.

00:37:21Marc:Yeah, no, I know.

00:37:22Guest:So that's...

00:37:23Marc:no Mason that's good Mason the bear spray I don't even know what bear spray is and I think it sounds pretty pretty good it's exactly what you think it is to stop a bear to stop a burly gay man from dancing with you all right Eliza you feel good it was good I just want people to watch my special of course they're gonna watch the special come watch the special it's called Elder Millennial Elder Millennial on Netflix great all right thanks Mark

00:37:53Marc:Eliza Schlesinger.

00:37:57Marc:Her Netflix special is Eliza Elder Millennial.

00:38:00Marc:It's streaming now.

00:38:01Marc:So empathy.

00:38:02Marc:So I'm on this plane.

00:38:03Marc:I got a first class seat.

00:38:06Marc:I don't want to brag, but I got a first class seat, but it's right at the back.

00:38:09Marc:A first class right before the partition before between first and the people and a couple got on with two babies, two babies.

00:38:19Marc:And they sat right behind the partition behind me.

00:38:23Marc:And these babies, one of them was was screaming for so long and so loud in such a strange way.

00:38:31Marc:That I it was it was bizarre.

00:38:37Marc:Like it wasn't it was just like I was concerned.

00:38:40Marc:I was horrified.

00:38:41Marc:I was annoyed.

00:38:43Marc:But it was just like it was it got to the point where like this is unbelievable.

00:38:48Marc:Like how long is this kid going to go?

00:38:51Marc:And then the other one starts making noises and they're right behind me.

00:38:54Marc:And it goes on for like a long time.

00:38:57Marc:I had to put my headphones on and slam them up real loud.

00:39:00Marc:But this is real test of empathy.

00:39:02Marc:Because back in the day, if that happened and I was as tired as I was, I'd be like, you know, fuck them.

00:39:07Marc:Fuck them.

00:39:08Marc:Fuck that couple.

00:39:09Marc:Fuck their fucking babies.

00:39:11Marc:Their dumb, loud babies.

00:39:13Marc:Fuck them.

00:39:14Marc:But now, like somehow or another, I realize that it can't be easy for those parents.

00:39:19Marc:The babies are terrified or maybe they're just shitty babies.

00:39:22Marc:But but it's not easy for them.

00:39:24Marc:It's embarrassing.

00:39:25Marc:It's hard enough.

00:39:25Marc:They probably don't sleep.

00:39:26Marc:Like I just was able to accept it.

00:39:29Marc:That doesn't make me a hero.

00:39:31Marc:I didn't save anybody being sucked out of a window or anything.

00:39:33Marc:But I I did not get annoyed or angry.

00:39:39Marc:when the worst baby crying I've ever heard was directly behind me on this airplane.

00:39:44Marc:It's always some sort of karma.

00:39:45Marc:It's some sort of karma.

00:39:49Marc:But that's the empathy test.

00:39:51Marc:If you can feel for those parents as opposed to your need for sleep.

00:39:54Marc:Oh, I also watched Red Sparrow, but I didn't time it right.

00:39:58Marc:I have slept through the new Blade Runner, which seemed pointless, quite honestly.

00:40:02Marc:What was that ending?

00:40:03Marc:And then I was watching Red Sparrow and we literally landed, like stopped at the gate 10 minutes before it ended.

00:40:10Marc:So I don't even know who's under the hood.

00:40:13Marc:I got a pretty good idea.

00:40:14Marc:I know it took me a long time to watch it, but I didn't anticipate having to watch the end at home.

00:40:18Marc:You know, I just I'd really but I'll get to it.

00:40:23Marc:You know, it's not unlike me not to finish movies fucking burning up in here.

00:40:27Marc:I'm sweating.

00:40:28Marc:I'm sweating balls.

00:40:29Marc:Is that the same?

00:40:30Marc:You can't say sweating balls.

00:40:31Marc:It's tripping balls, not sweating balls.

00:40:34Marc:I guess.

00:40:34Marc:Well, yeah, they're probably sweaty.

00:40:36Marc:So Mila Kunis.

00:40:39Marc:Great name.

00:40:41Marc:You know her.

00:40:41Marc:I think she's come up in conversations.

00:40:43Marc:Oh, no, she didn't.

00:40:45Marc:She was subverted in conversation with Macaulay Culkin.

00:40:48Marc:She's married to Aston Kutcher and she's in a new movie.

00:40:50Marc:She's been in a lot of movies.

00:40:52Marc:Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Book of Eli, you know, movies.

00:40:56Marc:A lot of them.

00:40:57Marc:Her new movie, The Spy That Dumped Me, opens Friday.

00:41:00Marc:It's her and Kate McKinnon.

00:41:01Marc:This is me and Mila Kunis talking in the new garage.

00:41:13Marc:Well, you can move the mic too.

00:41:14Guest:I feel like I have such a loud voice that I always sit back for mics.

00:41:16Marc:No, I don't mind it.

00:41:17Marc:I like it.

00:41:18Marc:I like the loud voice.

00:41:20Marc:Well, I mean, like, if you get too, you know, I can adjust the levels here.

00:41:23Marc:So, but now you have to deal with that.

00:41:25Marc:Like, I mean, there's people in my family as well that, you know, you have to draw this line where you're like, we're just not, you know, in order for me to continue liking you people,

00:41:34Guest:Yep.

00:41:35Guest:We can't.

00:41:35Guest:We can't talk about it.

00:41:36Marc:Yeah.

00:41:37Guest:I know.

00:41:37Guest:It's very hard.

00:41:38Guest:It's different.

00:41:39Guest:I had one blow up.

00:41:40Guest:One.

00:41:41Marc:With Ashton's family?

00:41:43Guest:Yeah.

00:41:43Guest:With one member of the family that I love so dearly, so very much.

00:41:46Guest:And we both just so strongly, vehemently disagreed on a specific issue that to me is very important.

00:41:54Marc:Right.

00:41:55Marc:What issue?

00:41:57Guest:Women's rights.

00:41:58Guest:Right.

00:41:59Right.

00:41:59Guest:Which sounds so stupid to say, like, oh, but to me it's important, but to you it's not.

00:42:03Guest:Like, I don't know why.

00:42:04Marc:Why is it a conversation?

00:42:05Marc:Yeah.

00:42:06Guest:Because to this other person, it wasn't a question.

00:42:08Guest:Like, he's not going to do anything against women's rights.

00:42:10Guest:And I was like, no, but he is.

00:42:11Guest:Like, these are the things that will happen if he wins.

00:42:14Guest:And...

00:42:16Guest:And it just wasn't of a priority.

00:42:17Guest:Not that it wasn't even a priority.

00:42:18Guest:I shouldn't say that.

00:42:19Guest:It just wasn't a positive.

00:42:20Guest:It wasn't probable that anything was going to happen.

00:42:22Guest:That's not the point of this.

00:42:23Guest:The point was something else.

00:42:25Guest:And I was like, right, but by default, this is the shit that's going to go down.

00:42:28Marc:Right.

00:42:28Marc:They don't think about that.

00:42:29Marc:The two steps ahead.

00:42:31Guest:No, it's not.

00:42:32Guest:Yeah, it's so much more than that.

00:42:33Marc:And they cherry pick why they can rationalize.

00:42:36Guest:There's no rationale.

00:42:36Guest:Like, here's one thing I've learned.

00:42:38Marc:Yeah.

00:42:39Guest:No, you can't ask for rational, like...

00:42:42Guest:So, why don't you vote for Hillary?

00:42:45Guest:Because she's a bitch.

00:42:46Guest:Why is she a bitch?

00:42:47Guest:I don't know.

00:42:48Marc:Oh, no, I know.

00:42:49Guest:There's no... And then you're like, but then we can't have an... I don't mind disagreeing.

00:42:53Guest:You and I don't have to agree, but let's have an educational debate.

00:42:56Marc:Most people don't know past... Once you go down the line of government people, most people don't know past Pence.

00:43:05Marc:You know, it's like, you know, who's the Secretary of Defense?

00:43:08Guest:Who's the Secretary of State?

00:43:09Guest:But ask somebody, what does Congress do?

00:43:10Guest:What does House do?

00:43:11Guest:What does the Senate do?

00:43:11Guest:They don't know.

00:43:12Guest:Exactly.

00:43:12Guest:So it doesn't matter, right?

00:43:14Guest:Like the bottom line is- It's all impulse.

00:43:16Guest:Feelings.

00:43:16Guest:It's all feelings.

00:43:17Guest:It's feelings and it's a headline that grabs your attention.

00:43:20Guest:It's like one thing that maybe you gravitate towards, whether it's- Yeah.

00:43:24Guest:Whatever.

00:43:25Guest:Religion.

00:43:25Guest:I don't know.

00:43:25Guest:Whatever.

00:43:26Marc:He makes me feel like, fuck that guy.

00:43:27Marc:You know, like- He says things.

00:43:29Guest:He speaks the way that I speak.

00:43:30Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:43:31Guest:He makes me feel less stupid, like whatever it is.

00:43:32Marc:Yeah, he makes me feel less stupid for being stupid.

00:43:35Guest:Yeah.

00:43:38Guest:Yeah.

00:43:39Marc:So you guys go up to Iowa a lot to visit family.

00:43:41Marc:You got kids, right?

00:43:42Marc:We have two kids, yeah.

00:43:43Marc:Does he have other kids?

00:43:44Marc:No.

00:43:45Marc:So you just got the kids?

00:43:46Guest:Just us two, yep.

00:43:47Marc:And this is your first marriage?

00:43:49Guest:Yeah.

00:43:49Marc:And his first marriage?

00:43:50Guest:Second.

00:43:51Marc:Second.

00:43:51Guest:Yeah, I married a divorcee.

00:43:53Marc:Who is he married to?

00:43:54Guest:Demi Moore.

00:43:54Marc:He was married to her.

00:43:56Marc:You know, I don't really... I'm so... Like, I'm not even being cagey in any way.

00:43:59Guest:I know you are.

00:44:00Guest:I know you don't know.

00:44:01Guest:You're too fucking highbrow, which is why I was like, yeah, I'll do Marc Maron.

00:44:04Guest:He doesn't know shit about anything.

00:44:05Guest:I'm not highbrow, but I just... You're a little highbrow, buddy.

00:44:08Marc:No, but I knew he was with Demi Moore, but I didn't know that... No, you went like this, who was he with again?

00:44:13Guest:Like, you didn't even know the name, which I respect so much.

00:44:15Marc:I know Demi Moore, but I thought it was somebody else that he was married to.

00:44:17Marc:See, I didn't know they were married.

00:44:18Guest:I know, and I love that.

00:44:19Guest:That's fine.

00:44:20Marc:Ah.

00:44:20Guest:I think this is great.

00:44:24Guest:I think that you not knowing is even better.

00:44:26Marc:It's happening more and more because I'm getting older.

00:44:28Marc:The further away I get from it, the less I give a shit.

00:44:33Guest:I get it.

00:44:34Guest:I married one of you.

00:44:35Guest:You'd be shocked at how little my husband knows about anybody.

00:44:38Guest:Really?

00:44:38Guest:Or who they are.

00:44:39Guest:So much so that at one point I was like, are you fucking with me?

00:44:44Guest:I literally was like, there's no way you don't know...

00:44:47Guest:Who that is.

00:44:48Guest:And this is a gods on the street.

00:44:49Guest:Who was it?

00:44:50Guest:Julia Roberts.

00:44:51Guest:Okay.

00:44:51Marc:Oh, come on.

00:44:52Marc:He had to know.

00:44:53Guest:It was a little dark.

00:44:53Guest:I guess he just didn't even look.

00:44:55Guest:I don't know what he thought, but she walked by and he goes, God, that woman looks so familiar.

00:44:59Guest:And I literally went, are you fucking with me?

00:45:01Guest:And he was like, no, wait, tell me her name.

00:45:03Guest:Just tell me her name.

00:45:03Guest:And I was like, are you?

00:45:05Guest:What?

00:45:07Marc:He just didn't remember.

00:45:08Guest:He just was like, it just doesn't, it's not, but tell him who created what company, what tech race happened where, who's the creator of what tech, like, then he'll spew a million.

00:45:17Marc:So he's completely in that world now.

00:45:19Guest:He has a show on Netflix.

00:45:22Guest:He has the ranch on Netflix and he loves that show and it's fantastic and it's politically driven.

00:45:26Guest:So I think to him, it's really exciting.

00:45:28Marc:but that's it right yeah he doesn't but but like i it's so interesting to me when actors who are intelligent get bored that's exactly what happened yeah you know exactly like he just needed something else and so he immersed himself in a whole other field and thrived it's great yeah it's fantastic it's great and you i so i'm interested in uh you know where you come from

00:45:51Marc:Boy, well... Before we get into that, though, in terms of women's rights things, are you still donating money to Planned Parenthood?

00:46:00Guest:Yeah, but wait, do you know what happened afterwards?

00:46:01Marc:With Mike Pence's name?

00:46:02Marc:No.

00:46:03Guest:The fact that I said it... See, I knew that.

00:46:05Guest:I know.

00:46:05Guest:Listen, because it has something to do with politics.

00:46:08Guest:Right.

00:46:09Guest:Yes, so I went and said it.

00:46:10Guest:It's not that big of a deal.

00:46:12Guest:I thought it was a funny joke.

00:46:12Guest:I was going to always donate to Planned Parenthood anyways.

00:46:15Guest:Yeah.

00:46:15Guest:It's not like it...

00:46:16Marc:No, I do.

00:46:17Marc:It's one of the three or four I donate to, yeah.

00:46:19Guest:Right.

00:46:20Guest:I just then thought it would be funny.

00:46:21Guest:Okay, so some people didn't find it funny.

00:46:23Guest:But I will say this.

00:46:23Guest:Here's what happened.

00:46:24Guest:So there's an address that was listed online that's not necessarily my personal address, but it's listed as if it's my personal address.

00:46:30Guest:And so then people started giving donations to the opposing side, which I didn't even know there was one.

00:46:35Guest:Okay, I don't want to promote it, whatever it is.

00:46:37Guest:So people just started donating in my name to them.

00:46:39Guest:And so the mailbox of this one person who it's not my personal address was...

00:46:45Guest:Thousands of envelopes daily would come.

00:46:47Guest:Thousands.

00:46:48Guest:And you know what?

00:46:48Guest:In return, I was like, you know what?

00:46:49Guest:At least I'm proud of these people for putting their money where their mouth is.

00:46:51Guest:Sure.

00:46:51Guest:So like, okay, donate to your cause.

00:46:53Guest:If you really want this one thing to succeed, go ahead.

00:46:56Guest:I'm not mad at it.

00:46:57Guest:I was, you know, actually pretty impressed with people trying to like get one on top of it.

00:47:01Marc:That side is really good at spiteful grassroots organizing.

00:47:05Guest:Well, yeah, exactly.

00:47:06Guest:Yes.

00:47:07Guest:Yes, we all know.

00:47:08Marc:They can really mobilize.

00:47:09Guest:Yeah, boy, can they?

00:47:10Guest:That stuff.

00:47:10Guest:With their, yeah.

00:47:11Guest:So they did.

00:47:12Guest:They got it.

00:47:13Marc:But you came from Russia.

00:47:15Guest:Ukraine to be specific.

00:47:17Guest:Right.

00:47:17Guest:Yes.

00:47:17Guest:Now I know I have to clarify.

00:47:18Guest:Right.

00:47:19Guest:Used to be SSSR.

00:47:20Marc:Right.

00:47:21Marc:Then it pulled away and then and then now there's then they're pulling they're fighting again.

00:47:27Guest:Now there's yes there's a war.

00:47:28Marc:Yeah.

00:47:28Guest:And most people don't know.

00:47:30Marc:But your parents like why do you have any memory of Ukraine?

00:47:34Guest:Yeah I came when I was like seven eight.

00:47:36Guest:so i do like like what you know what it is and maybe you can i don't know i'm sure some sociologists can tell you're a psychiatrist but as soon as you have a memory i don't know if it's mine or memories that i've created from stories that my parents have told or from photos that i've seen so i can tell you i have a lot of memories i don't know yeah they're pretty elastic after a certain age like you know you kind of can build on them and

00:47:56Guest:Yeah, so I think I remember this.

00:47:58Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:47:58Guest:Ashton and I went back there last year in August, almost a year ago, exactly.

00:48:03Guest:And I had never been back for 20 plus years, whatever it's been, eight years.

00:48:06Guest:And we went back for a couple hours and we landed and he looked at me and he goes, so?

00:48:10Guest:Like he wanted me to have like some like visceral reaction to like the land.

00:48:14Guest:Like I'm home.

00:48:15Guest:And I looked at him and I was like, yeah, I got nothing.

00:48:17Guest:I don't, I don't.

00:48:19Guest:But we went back to the place where I was born and the woman wouldn't, where we lived and the woman that owned there was like, no, we're not letting you in.

00:48:24Guest:Which I don't blame her because welcome to the, you know, Ukraine.

00:48:27Guest:But we, but all of a sudden I did remember how to physically.

00:48:30Guest:She didn't recognize either of you?

00:48:32Guest:She didn't care.

00:48:32Guest:She wasn't going to open the door.

00:48:34Guest:It wasn't.

00:48:34Guest:No, no.

00:48:35Guest:She was like, don't kill me.

00:48:36Guest:But I remembered how to walk to my school.

00:48:40Guest:So I could muscle memory my way into school to the local little store where we used to go like for bread and milk and stuff like that.

00:48:47Guest:Like I knew how to go to certain locations.

00:48:49Marc:Right.

00:48:49Guest:So I must have had some sort of memory.

00:48:52Marc:And do you have siblings?

00:48:53Guest:I have an older brother.

00:48:54Guest:how much older six years older oh so he's married with kids he's got real memories yeah does he have an accent um yeah he'll he'll hate me for saying this he doesn't he doesn't he sounds like he's from the bay area like he kind of his accent he went to berkeley so it did manifest itself in like bay area berkeley accent yeah so but he does for sure that's it that's wild and your folks are still around

00:49:19Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:49:20Guest:My mom, as I was walking in, was trying to call me.

00:49:22Marc:So what was going on that they had to leave?

00:49:27Guest:We left on a religious, not asylum, but what is it?

00:49:33Marc:The Jewish purge?

00:49:35Guest:Mm-hmm.

00:49:35Guest:We were politely asked to leave.

00:49:36Marc:They did ask you.

00:49:37Guest:I mean, they didn't.

00:49:38Guest:You could stay.

00:49:39Guest:But, you know, it wasn't the most welcome.

00:49:41Marc:So that was in the, what, the 70s?

00:49:43Guest:No, we came in 91.

00:49:44Guest:Oh.

00:49:44Guest:We were in the second.

00:49:45Guest:So, right, exactly.

00:49:46Guest:You're right.

00:49:46Guest:So in the 70s, there was the first wave.

00:49:48Guest:And then we came as the wall was falling.

00:49:49Marc:Huh.

00:49:50Guest:So, like, on refugee visas, what we came in on.

00:49:52Marc:Well, did you ever ask him, like, what was the, like, what were the signs?

00:49:58Marc:Because I'm just, I'm trying to figure out when I have to leave here.

00:50:00Marc:Yeah.

00:50:01Guest:Now?

00:50:03Guest:Yesterday, Mark?

00:50:04Guest:No, we can't leave.

00:50:05Guest:We can't be like a favorite.

00:50:06Guest:No, of course not.

00:50:06Guest:We have to stick with it.

00:50:08Guest:I, well, what are the signs?

00:50:10Guest:I mean, it was different.

00:50:11Guest:It was very anti-Semitic.

00:50:12Guest:But, you know, I think my parents wanted my brother and I to have a future and didn't see a future for their children.

00:50:18Guest:And so they left everything behind.

00:50:19Guest:They genuinely left everything behind.

00:50:21Guest:100%.

00:50:22Guest:Our home, our money, our finances, their education, everything for my brother and I to have the chance of a life.

00:50:28Okay.

00:50:29Marc:So what was their, what were their jobs before they left?

00:50:32Guest:My dad worked in import and export, which I know sounds shady, but it really did work in import and export.

00:50:37Guest:Like he worked with like importing steel, like at a factory type of thing.

00:50:40Guest:Like he was a businessman.

00:50:41Guest:Yeah.

00:50:42Guest:You can really own a business, but you can work for a business.

00:50:44Guest:Yeah.

00:50:44Guest:So he did that.

00:50:45Guest:My mother, I think, you know, worked like in a home ec for like school and like had a, you know, a normal job, real job.

00:50:53Marc:So they literally kind of, they just left.

00:50:58Guest:We had to apply to leave.

00:51:00Marc:Did you apply for, what was it, refugee status?

00:51:03Guest:Yeah, exactly.

00:51:04Guest:So you could, if you were Jewish, they were like, okay, bye.

00:51:08Guest:And so Israel opens you, accepts you with open arms.

00:51:10Guest:Like Israel, you can just kind of go to.

00:51:11Marc:You got to want to be there though.

00:51:13Guest:Yes, but our family was in LA.

00:51:14Guest:We do have lots of family in Israel.

00:51:16Guest:We went to, there's a lot of family in Israel.

00:51:18Marc:So no more family in this Ukraine?

00:51:21Guest:No.

00:51:22Marc:Everyone left?

00:51:23Marc:No.

00:51:24Marc:Huh.

00:51:24Marc:Yeah.

00:51:24Marc:So you had a choice, Israel or Los Angeles?

00:51:26Guest:Well, my whole family was... Yeah.

00:51:29Guest:I mean, L.A.

00:51:30Guest:is kind of like Israel.

00:51:31Guest:My family prior to... My parents were all in the Holocaust.

00:51:36Guest:So the survivors left.

00:51:37Guest:My grandfather's brother came to L.A.

00:51:39Guest:in the 70s.

00:51:40Guest:Oh.

00:51:41Guest:Yeah.

00:51:41Guest:So we started doing the 23andMe test to try to find some of our family.

00:51:44Guest:Just now?

00:51:46Guest:I did... My mom and I did our test...

00:51:48Marc:It's not that specific, though, is it?

00:51:51Guest:You can find family members.

00:51:52Guest:You can?

00:51:52Guest:Totally.

00:51:53Guest:They tell you a percentage.

00:51:54Guest:So here's a funny story.

00:51:55Guest:So I did my test six years ago, probably, and I never made it public.

00:52:01Guest:I kind of just did it privately, and I forgot that I never made it public.

00:52:04Guest:So I gave it to my mom last year for Christmas.

00:52:07Guest:She did it, and she made hers public.

00:52:09Guest:Like two months ago, I was like, oh, you know what?

00:52:10Guest:I should make my test public because I want to see if I can find any relatives.

00:52:13Guest:So I go on the little app, and I say, like, make public, right?

00:52:15Guest:Two seconds later, it was like, ding!

00:52:17Guest:your paternal your maternal mother has been found and my heart sank like I literally was like my mother's not my mother like I forgot that I had given her the test I clucked on and I was like Elvira Kunis and I was like oh well yes I knew that one so they do tell you your relationships I didn't know if I didn't realize that I could do that because I just got mine back what were you like a hundred percent Ashkenazi Jew

00:52:37Guest:It was 97, 98%.

00:52:38Guest:I was 99.5.

00:52:39Marc:Yeah, the Jews.

00:52:43Guest:We're really in bread.

00:52:44Marc:My family's from Russia, too.

00:52:48Guest:But you know how they do the dots about where you are?

00:52:50Guest:Mine's just a dot in one area.

00:52:53Guest:Clearly, my family never left the little village.

00:52:55Marc:Oh, really?

00:52:56Guest:We're all in one part, and then there's a little dot in Romania and Poland.

00:52:59Guest:A little bit there, but mostly all Ukraine, yeah.

00:53:01Marc:Really?

00:53:01Marc:There are dots?

00:53:02Marc:Where did I miss the dots?

00:53:04Marc:I mean, there was an area.

00:53:05Guest:Look at the map, and it tells you, like, where your family's from.

00:53:08Guest:Like, there's little... On 23andMe.

00:53:10Guest:Yeah.

00:53:10Guest:I'll show you on my phone.

00:53:11Guest:No, I'll go back.

00:53:12Marc:I got to go back and look at it.

00:53:13Guest:Maybe it was public.

00:53:14Guest:I made my public.

00:53:15Guest:I was like, what are they... Who's going to find... Who's, like, what are you going to do?

00:53:18Marc:No, I don't... I didn't know that I could.

00:53:20Marc:Apparently, I missed a lot of buttons on the...

00:53:22Guest:By the way, so did I. You did?

00:53:24Guest:Yeah, my mom made her spellbook.

00:53:25Guest:She was like, I found our 17th cousin in Jersey.

00:53:28Guest:And I was like, all right, mom.

00:53:30Marc:Jersey.

00:53:30Marc:We're probably related.

00:53:31Marc:So once you get here, because I know that people have certain jobs in Russia, but it doesn't sound like he was a specialist of any kind.

00:53:37Marc:So what did he do?

00:53:38Guest:He was a specialist, but he didn't do that.

00:53:39Guest:He ended up driving cabs.

00:53:41Guest:What they ended up doing was it didn't matter because at that point he couldn't transfer his degrees.

00:53:45Marc:That's what I mean.

00:53:46Guest:Engineering degrees.

00:53:47Guest:Yes.

00:53:47Guest:Engineering.

00:53:47Guest:Yes.

00:53:48Guest:He had an engineering degree and he couldn't transfer it.

00:53:49Guest:My grandfather had multiple degrees.

00:53:51Guest:My grandfather is one of the most well-educated human beings ever.

00:53:53Guest:And there was no way of transferring anything.

00:53:55Guest:And they didn't have time to go back to school.

00:53:57Marc:They came at the same time?

00:53:58Marc:Your grandfather, too?

00:54:00Guest:We couldn't leave until my grandfather okayed it because my grandfather was very high up in the Communist Party in our town.

00:54:05Guest:And so he clearly believed that Russia or Ukraine, Russia at the time, Ukraine, was one of the best countries in the world.

00:54:11Guest:So he had no desire to leave until he came to Los Angeles to visit his brother, went to Disneyland, saw Disneyland, saw the idea of here's an institution for just fun.

00:54:21Marc:Yeah.

00:54:21Guest:The life that people have, the accessibility.

00:54:24Guest:Yeah.

00:54:24Marc:Yeah.

00:54:24Marc:That was undermined in years of communism in his mind and commitment.

00:54:29Guest:It is, but because it's just for fun.

00:54:32Guest:There's no loophole there.

00:54:33Marc:He didn't feel the pressure of the anti-Semitism like you guys did?

00:54:36Marc:Because he was in the party or what?

00:54:38Guest:He was in the party.

00:54:38Marc:Oh, really?

00:54:39Guest:We didn't...

00:54:39Guest:We all felt assertive amount of pressure, but none of us celebrated Judaism.

00:54:43Guest:Yeah.

00:54:43Guest:So we were raised with like, you're Jewish, just don't talk about it.

00:54:46Marc:Oh, okay.

00:54:47Guest:It's not a big deal.

00:54:47Guest:You don't need to go and tell everyone you're Jewish.

00:54:49Marc:You need to know you're Jewish.

00:54:50Marc:So no religion.

00:54:52Guest:Exactly.

00:54:52Marc:Really?

00:54:53Marc:Yep.

00:54:53Marc:Correct.

00:54:53Marc:Did you get any later?

00:54:55Guest:Yeah, I married into religion.

00:54:57Guest:So the irony of the situation is I married a pseudo-convert.

00:55:01Marc:Who?

00:55:01Marc:My husband, yeah.

00:55:02Marc:But you just said he's Catholic.

00:55:04Guest:Yeah, and then became in love with the Jewish religion later in life.

00:55:07Marc:He did?

00:55:07Guest:Yeah, nothing to do with me, completely before me.

00:55:09Marc:And he's converted?

00:55:11Guest:Not officially, but I guess he speaks Hebrew, he knows how to read Hebrew, he's read the Torah a million times.

00:55:17Marc:Really?

00:55:17Guest:Yeah.

00:55:18Guest:He's like a student of religion and fell in love with Judaism.

00:55:22Marc:He's a Judeophile?

00:55:24Mm-hmm.

00:55:24Guest:I know.

00:55:25Marc:That's bizarre.

00:55:26Marc:So he knows a lot more about the religion.

00:55:27Guest:He knows everything about it.

00:55:28Guest:He's taught me everything I never knew.

00:55:30Guest:We do Shabbat, kind of.

00:55:31Guest:We do our own version of Shabbat.

00:55:33Marc:Wait, is he this obsessed with any other religions?

00:55:36Guest:He went through periods of just studying religion.

00:55:39Marc:Right, but you learn Hebrew.

00:55:40Marc:Does he read the Torah in Hebrew?

00:55:42Marc:He can, yeah.

00:55:43Guest:Isn't that crazy?

00:55:44Guest:It is crazy.

00:55:45Guest:He's one of the most brilliant human beings I've ever met in my life.

00:55:47Marc:But is he going to convert or he doesn't want?

00:55:49Marc:No.

00:55:49Guest:Because it's not about that to him.

00:55:51Guest:It's just more about like the moral aspect of it and the stories.

00:55:54Guest:What's the Old Testament?

00:55:55Marc:Like if you grew up with the New Testament, I mean, the Old Testament's got to be exciting.

00:55:58Guest:Exactly.

00:55:58Guest:It's what he said.

00:55:59Guest:He goes, how am I going to understand the New Testament if I don't even understand the Old Testament?

00:56:02Guest:And so he decided to go and study the Old Testament before.

00:56:04Marc:And he went crazy.

00:56:05Marc:He went all in.

00:56:07Marc:Yep.

00:56:07Marc:All right.

00:56:08Marc:So when you moved to Los Angeles, when you're seven, 91.

00:56:11Guest:Yep.

00:56:12Marc:And your brother's like 14, 13.

00:56:13Guest:Exactly.

00:56:14Guest:He had a really hard time.

00:56:15Marc:And he did.

00:56:16Guest:Yeah.

00:56:17Marc:So, but where do you guys settle?

00:56:18Marc:Where are you with your grandfather's brother?

00:56:21Marc:62 North Sweetser Avenue.

00:56:24Guest:62 North Sweetser Avenue.

00:56:25Guest:Apartment 10, guys.

00:56:25Guest:Everybody can go see it.

00:56:26Marc:What's across the street?

00:56:27Guest:It's Melrose and Sweetser.

00:56:29Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:56:30Guest:Okay.

00:56:31Marc:That's Jewish.

00:56:32Yeah.

00:56:32Guest:Wasala was super, very gay.

00:56:35Guest:Very, very gay.

00:56:35Marc:I thought over by Melrose.

00:56:37Guest:On the other side of Fairfax.

00:56:38Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:56:39Guest:I was with the gays for my whole life.

00:56:41Guest:Yeah.

00:56:41Marc:We could walk right across the street to the Jews if you wanted to.

00:56:44Guest:Yeah, we're all nice.

00:56:44Guest:We all hung out for many years.

00:56:47Guest:My family still lives there.

00:56:49Guest:At that house?

00:56:50Guest:Up the street.

00:56:51Guest:Otherwise, I wouldn't divulge the exact address.

00:56:52Marc:That's what I'm saying.

00:56:53Guest:But my goal at one point, and I still, I wanted to do, I want to buy that building.

00:56:57Guest:It's 10 units.

00:56:58Guest:And I always thought that like one day, I'm going to take, I'm going to buy that building.

00:57:02Guest:Yeah.

00:57:02Guest:Because it's a building that completely changed my life.

00:57:06Guest:Everything in my life happened at 632 North Suites Avenue, Apartment 10.

00:57:10Guest:And I can tell you the phone number that we used to have, everything.

00:57:12Marc:But how'd you end up there?

00:57:13Marc:Was your grandfather's brother there or did you...

00:57:15Guest:My grandfather's brother was down the street in Croft.

00:57:17Guest:But it doesn't matter.

00:57:18Guest:It was Hollywood.

00:57:19Guest:He landed in West Hollywood.

00:57:20Guest:And my mom's brother also landed in West Hollywood.

00:57:23Guest:Because you have to ask.

00:57:24Guest:You have to be requested for a refugee visa for a religion asylum.

00:57:29Guest:So they requested us.

00:57:30Guest:It took five plus years to come here.

00:57:32Guest:We finally came here on a lottery.

00:57:34Guest:So you have to go to the embassy and then it's a lottery.

00:57:36Guest:So it's not even 100% that you're going to get there.

00:57:38Marc:So it was five years after you wanted to get out, you got out?

00:57:40Guest:Yeah.

00:57:40Guest:Something like that.

00:57:41Guest:Three to five years, yeah.

00:57:42Guest:My parents know the dates better than I do, but like three to five years.

00:57:45Marc:Sure, I can honestly say.

00:57:47Marc:That's wild.

00:57:48Guest:You have to go to Moscow.

00:57:48Guest:My parents went to Moscow.

00:57:49Guest:My dad traveled there constantly to go to the embassy to get the paperwork done and all that stuff.

00:57:53Guest:And then finally, you have to go there for an interview to be accepted into the States.

00:57:56Guest:And we went to the American embassy for an interview.

00:57:57Guest:And I have given the story before, but I'll tell you the very quick story of it is I met a black person for the first time and started crying.

00:58:02Guest:And my mom was like, oh, no.

00:58:03Guest:Why are you crying?

00:58:04Guest:And I was like, oh, is this person burnt?

00:58:06Guest:And that was my first reaction.

00:58:09Guest:And the person was lovely and wonderful and spoke Russian and was like, can I explain this to your daughter?

00:58:14Guest:And my mom was like, okay.

00:58:16Guest:And so he sat me down and explained to me.

00:58:18Guest:In Russian.

00:58:19Guest:That there's people with different, I didn't speak English.

00:58:21Guest:I only spoke Russian.

00:58:22Guest:There's people with different color and different races.

00:58:24Guest:And I was like, my mind, I think as a seven year old was so blown that I was like, well, are there purple people?

00:58:28Guest:Are there white people?

00:58:29Guest:Like I couldn't, I couldn't, I've never seen anybody other than my own.

00:58:33Guest:There's no television.

00:58:34Guest:It wasn't like a thing.

00:58:35Guest:Yeah.

00:58:35Guest:And so I had no concept of the real world.

00:58:38Guest:I mean, none.

00:58:40Marc:It's like, I can't imagine.

00:58:42Marc:I've only talked to, maybe I've talked to one.

00:58:43Marc:Well, I talked to Yakov Smirnoff about, you know.

00:58:46Marc:Oh, yeah, sure.

00:58:47Marc:About what it was like to grow up there conscious, you know, not as a kid, but to live it.

00:58:51Guest:As a kid, it's different.

00:58:52Guest:And I had an amazing upbringing.

00:58:53Guest:Like, I had everything that a kid could have.

00:58:55Marc:But the channels of information are very limited.

00:58:59Marc:There are none.

00:59:00Guest:I mean, now there are.

00:59:01Guest:Now there's the internet.

00:59:01Guest:Everything is so different today.

00:59:03Guest:You can't compare the two.

00:59:04Marc:Have you gone to Russia?

00:59:06Guest:Yeah, for press.

00:59:06Guest:We used to do a lot of press in Russia.

00:59:09Marc:For the 70s show?

00:59:10Guest:No, for like different movies that I've done.

00:59:12Guest:Yeah, I went back.

00:59:12Marc:Okay, so you're here.

00:59:13Marc:You're over in the apartment in Sweetser.

00:59:16Marc:Everything in your life changes.

00:59:17Guest:Yes, absolutely.

00:59:18Marc:When do you, like, how does the acting start?

00:59:21Marc:Who does that?

00:59:22Guest:Me.

00:59:22Marc:It feels like it felt like it was pretty young.

00:59:24Guest:It was.

00:59:24Guest:I was nine.

00:59:25Marc:Nine?

00:59:26Marc:Yeah.

00:59:26Marc:Well, what compelled you?

00:59:27Marc:What got you all sort of, like, made you think you could do that?

00:59:32Guest:I don't know.

00:59:33Guest:It's...

00:59:36Marc:Did somebody approach you?

00:59:38Guest:Yes and no.

00:59:39Guest:So here's what happened.

00:59:39Guest:So I barely spoke English.

00:59:40Guest:I learned English fairly quickly because the younger you are, the quicker you pick up a language, okay?

00:59:44Guest:So by eight, I spoke English fluently.

00:59:46Guest:But I was still very shy.

00:59:47Guest:My parents, when I was nine years old, there was an advertisement on the radio called Beverly Hills Studios.

00:59:53Guest:Um, which was like an acting school at the time.

00:59:55Marc:Okay.

00:59:56Marc:You heard that.

00:59:57Guest:I didn't.

00:59:57Guest:So my dad did.

00:59:58Guest:And my mom.

00:59:59Guest:And it was advertised as a place for kids to meet other kids on Saturdays and hang out for 10 hours.

01:00:03Guest:And it was almost like a camp, so to speak.

01:00:05Guest:Yeah.

01:00:06Guest:And you come in addition.

01:00:06Guest:And if you make it, if you get in, then you have this chance to be an actor.

01:00:09Guest:This is 20 plus years ago.

01:00:11Guest:So I'm a 35.

01:00:11Guest:So this is 26 years ago.

01:00:13Guest:Yeah.

01:00:13Guest:So my parents were like, well, she's cute and outgoing and this will get her out of her shell a little bit.

01:00:18Marc:Right.

01:00:19Marc:You were in a shell.

01:00:19Marc:Yeah.

01:00:19Guest:Yeah, I was very shy.

01:00:21Guest:Really?

01:00:21Guest:Well, I was and I wasn't because it was a new language, so I think I was a little timid about meeting new people and making friends.

01:00:27Guest:And they were like, this would be a good place for her to meet friends.

01:00:28Marc:You're not shy anymore.

01:00:29Guest:What gave you that idea?

01:00:31Guest:I actually am a little shy.

01:00:32Marc:Yeah.

01:00:33Guest:Until I get comfortable and I feel like I'm in a safe place and then I don't show up.

01:00:37Guest:But at the time, it took me a second.

01:00:39Guest:So long story short, they took me there.

01:00:41Guest:As every kid, they get chosen.

01:00:42Guest:And then they're like, now write a check for- That's the racket?

01:00:45Guest:Yeah, of course.

01:00:46Guest:For like $3,000, whatever the amount was.

01:00:48Guest:And my dad was like, bye-bye, and like walked out.

01:00:51Guest:And my mom stayed back.

01:00:52Guest:And my mom was like, what's the total?

01:00:54Guest:And then whatever the total was, was literally $300 less than what they had in the bank account.

01:00:59Guest:So if my mom wrote that check, they would have been left with $300.

01:01:02Guest:And for whatever reason, my mom went, okay, and wrote the check.

01:01:05Guest:I went to the school.

01:01:06Guest:My dad's like, what the fuck did you do?

01:01:08Guest:And the next weekend I met my manager, who's my manager to this day.

01:01:11Guest:So it's been 26 years I've been with Susan Curtis.

01:01:14Marc:The next weekend you met your manager?

01:01:15Guest:Yeah, my manager was driving down the street and saw a bunch of gaggle of kids and was like, these kids look cute.

01:01:21Guest:Yeah.

01:01:21Guest:And like pulled over and they're like, we're an acting studio.

01:01:23Guest:And she was like, huh.

01:01:24Guest:OK.

01:01:25Guest:And they're like, and we do these showcases.

01:01:27Guest:Come to our showcase.

01:01:28Guest:And she was like, OK, great.

01:01:29Guest:So she came to the showcase and she was one of the many people to showcase from agencies and managers.

01:01:34Guest:And my parents were like, if you want to do this, this is your responsibility.

01:01:36Guest:You pick who you want to go with.

01:01:38Guest:Also, we can't take you to auditions.

01:01:40Guest:We can't afford any of this.

01:01:41Guest:But if you want to do this.

01:01:42Guest:Yeah.

01:01:43Guest:You do it.

01:01:43Guest:And I was like, I'm going to do it.

01:01:45Guest:And so.

01:01:45Guest:How old were you?

01:01:46Guest:Nine.

01:01:47Guest:And so I met a bunch of people and merely based on gut, I was like, I like this lady.

01:01:52Guest:And so Susan Curtis, the next day she took me out on audition.

01:01:55Guest:She got me clothes from Gap and I got the first thing I went out for, which was like one of those like Barbie commercials.

01:02:01Marc:It's a Barbie commercial.

01:02:02Guest:Yeah.

01:02:04Marc:And that was it.

01:02:05Marc:You're still with her.

01:02:06Guest:Still with her.

01:02:07Guest:Susan Curtis.

01:02:08Marc:That's amazing that you're still with her.

01:02:09Guest:Yes, she's great.

01:02:10Marc:That's never the story.

01:02:12Marc:It's always like she did a lot for me, but I'm not with her anymore.

01:02:17Guest:No, she's brilliant.

01:02:18Guest:Nobody's ever looked out for me more so, aside from my family.

01:02:21Guest:If you take away my actual mom and dad, her and her husband are my parents.

01:02:25Marc:I like it.

01:02:25Marc:I like the loyalty of it.

01:02:26Marc:Did she have other clients?

01:02:28Guest:Tons.

01:02:28Guest:Oh, yeah.

01:02:29Guest:She has great clients.

01:02:30Guest:But she, you know, this whole movement of like hashtag me too.

01:02:34Guest:Everyone's like, how did this happen that you kind of just never?

01:02:37Guest:And I was like, oh, no, I did.

01:02:38Guest:I just always had people protecting me.

01:02:40Guest:And I always had somebody.

01:02:41Guest:I always had Susan.

01:02:42Marc:Oh, you mean you have had incidents where you had to stay in.

01:02:47Guest:Where I had a thing, maybe, and she was like, get the fuck out.

01:02:51Guest:She never was like, well, let's just timidly walk away.

01:02:54Guest:She was like, oh, hell no.

01:02:55Guest:She would raise hell.

01:02:57Guest:And so I always had somebody, to this day, that's always been like, you are strong, you are great, you are brave, you are get out.

01:03:04Guest:So I've always been super grateful for that.

01:03:06Marc:And you seem like you don't entertain too much shit.

01:03:13Guest:But that comes with years.

01:03:14Guest:I don't know if that's necessarily true to begin with.

01:03:16Marc:When you're younger, yeah.

01:03:17Guest:You do entertain because you're so predisposed to social norm being be nice, polite, make sure you don't offend people, you don't want to be considered a bitch.

01:03:29Marc:But you're so young.

01:03:31Marc:You started when you were a kid.

01:03:34Guest:Yeah, I was nine.

01:03:35Marc:And you were working a lot as a kid.

01:03:37Marc:After the Barbie commercial, what happens next?

01:03:39Guest:um i did a roger corman's remake of piranha i did a lot of commercials so like skip the commercials the first thing i did that were you learning anything in the commercials though i mean like at least you were being on set and you were doing i was a really responsible kid yeah like i loved what i did i didn't even know what i was doing and i loved it and so it never felt like anything other than like home like i was always like this is what i'm supposed to be like i don't want to fuck this up right and so i've my grandfather used to take me to set and my grandfather's like always make sure you're the first one there did he speak with a russian accent

01:04:08Guest:Yeah, I barely spoke English.

01:04:10Marc:You barely spoke English.

01:04:11Guest:Yeah.

01:04:12Marc:So do you still speak Russian?

01:04:14Guest:Yeah.

01:04:14Marc:Yeah?

01:04:15Guest:Yeah.

01:04:16Marc:Yeah, fluently, yeah.

01:04:17Marc:What do you mean, to who?

01:04:18Guest:My parents.

01:04:19Marc:Oh, really?

01:04:19Guest:My grandparents are still alive.

01:04:21Guest:That's exciting.

01:04:22Guest:So like the 96, 94.

01:04:22Marc:And it comes right back, it's right there?

01:04:24Marc:Yeah.

01:04:24Guest:Apparently, I speak with an English accent, so I guess I have a full-blown accent, and my vocabulary is that of probably a 10-year-old.

01:04:33Marc:Right where you learned English.

01:04:35Guest:Exactly.

01:04:36Guest:It's very stunted there.

01:04:37Marc:Okay, so he's taking you to auditions and things, your grandfather?

01:04:40Guest:Everybody took me to auditions.

01:04:41Guest:My manager took me to auditions.

01:04:43Guest:My grandfather didn't drive, so my manager took me.

01:04:44Guest:My mom's friends took me.

01:04:45Guest:Whoever was available would take me.

01:04:47Guest:My parents both held multiple jobs.

01:04:49Guest:So until they retired, until the retirement age of 66, right?

01:04:53Guest:What is it?

01:04:53Guest:65, 66.

01:04:54Guest:My parents worked every single day of their life.

01:04:57Marc:Is that what it is now?

01:04:57Marc:66?

01:04:58Marc:It's not 55?

01:04:59Marc:55?

01:05:01Marc:No.

01:05:01Marc:55?

01:05:02Guest:No.

01:05:03Guest:It's like 65 or 66.

01:05:04Guest:Whatever it is, they retired at the retirement age.

01:05:07Guest:So my dad drove a cab to the day that he could retire.

01:05:09Guest:And my mom worked at Rite Aid to the day that she could retire.

01:05:12Marc:And how old are they now?

01:05:14Marc:They've been retired for a while?

01:05:15Guest:66, I would say.

01:05:16Guest:No, it's new.

01:05:17Guest:Just happened?

01:05:18Guest:Yeah.

01:05:18Guest:By the way, don't retire.

01:05:20Marc:No.

01:05:20Marc:They don't know what they're doing.

01:05:21Guest:Hopefully, they don't listen to podcasts.

01:05:22Guest:They won't hear this one.

01:05:23Guest:Don't retire.

01:05:24Guest:Mark, whatever you do, never retire.

01:05:26Guest:You go crazy.

01:05:26Marc:Why are they bothering you?

01:05:27Guest:Yeah, they're bored.

01:05:28Marc:Yeah?

01:05:29Guest:They just get bored.

01:05:30Guest:I'm like, let's get hobbies.

01:05:31Guest:Yeah.

01:05:31Guest:And they're communist Russians.

01:05:32Guest:They're like, what's a hobby?

01:05:33Guest:You're right.

01:05:33Guest:I know.

01:05:34Guest:They never were raised with hobbies.

01:05:35Marc:My father can't.

01:05:35Marc:He doesn't know what the hell to do with himself.

01:05:36Guest:No, you can't retire.

01:05:37Guest:Just do something.

01:05:38Guest:I don't care what it is.

01:05:38Marc:And they don't even know what they like to do.

01:05:40Guest:Because they weren't raised with hobbies.

01:05:41Guest:You were raised to get an education, go to school, get a job.

01:05:44Marc:Why don't you just give them, how old are your kids?

01:05:46Guest:Three and a half, one and a half.

01:05:47Marc:There's their hobby.

01:05:48Marc:That's their hobby.

01:05:48Guest:We know.

01:05:50Guest:Mark, I know.

01:05:51Marc:Yeah.

01:05:52Marc:They're over there all the time.

01:05:53Guest:No.

01:05:54Guest:My mom also loves to cook.

01:05:55Guest:And so now I've been like, fuck it.

01:05:57Guest:Like I'll be your restaurant.

01:05:59Guest:So my mom just cooks for my husband and I and our family all the time.

01:06:01Guest:Like she comes over with like soups and salads.

01:06:03Guest:Russian style?

01:06:04Guest:Yeah.

01:06:04Marc:Like what?

01:06:06Guest:Everything and anything.

01:06:06Guest:My mom never stopped cooking for four people.

01:06:09Guest:So even though my brother and I moved out.

01:06:11Marc:Does she make borscht?

01:06:12Guest:Oh yeah, borscht in the house right now.

01:06:13Marc:You do?

01:06:14Marc:Yeah.

01:06:14Marc:The hot kind with meat in it?

01:06:16Guest:Yeah, beef borscht.

01:06:17Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:06:17Guest:So good?

01:06:18Guest:It's wonderful.

01:06:19Guest:Oh my God.

01:06:20Guest:Yeah, it's great.

01:06:21Marc:That's the weird thing about being genetically a Russian Jew.

01:06:24Guest:Do you like Russian food?

01:06:25Marc:I do.

01:06:26Guest:If you really, I will come drop off some borscht for you.

01:06:30Guest:Genuinely, my mother makes so much food for our family.

01:06:33Marc:Like what other stuff?

01:06:36Guest:Stuffed peppers are very popular.

01:06:38Guest:Sure, yeah.

01:06:38Guest:So we saw stuffed peppers.

01:06:39Marc:With rice and meat?

01:06:40Guest:Yep.

01:06:41Guest:And then we have...

01:06:43Guest:Like, um, how would you translate that?

01:06:46Guest:That would be like, um, buckwheat.

01:06:48Guest:Oh yeah.

01:06:48Marc:Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:06:51Guest:With like mushrooms.

01:06:52Guest:Yeah.

01:06:53Guest:With mushrooms and, and like fried onions.

01:06:55Marc:And then you can eat that with like, um, with the bow tie pasta.

01:06:58Guest:Sure.

01:06:59Guest:If you'd like to add that, you can.

01:07:00Guest:Sometimes the guy doesn't have it.

01:07:02Marc:Oh, so she just goes straight up buckwheat groats with onions and mushrooms?

01:07:05Guest:She's like one of those home cooks where whatever's in the house will end up in the bowl.

01:07:09Guest:So if there's pasta, it'll end up in there.

01:07:12Guest:If there's no pasta, then you just get mushrooms.

01:07:14Marc:Just do fish?

01:07:14Guest:Tons of fish.

01:07:15Guest:She bakes fish for me all the time.

01:07:17Marc:Yeah.

01:07:17Guest:But she likes carp, which is a very anti-LA fish.

01:07:21Guest:I was like, what is this?

01:07:21Guest:I was like, the bottom feeder, carp.

01:07:22Guest:Carp.

01:07:23Guest:People are like, we don't eat carp.

01:07:24Guest:And I was like, we do in Russia.

01:07:25Marc:You can't find it here, can you?

01:07:26Guest:Yes, you can.

01:07:27Marc:You can find the carp?

01:07:28Guest:Tons.

01:07:28Marc:Oh, because of the Russians.

01:07:30Guest:Yeah, just go to West Hollywood and you'll find some carp.

01:07:32Marc:That's why they ended up in West Hollywood.

01:07:35Marc:Because Santa Monica and Crescent Heights, that whole area is Russian.

01:07:41Guest:Yeah.

01:07:41Guest:Yep.

01:07:42Marc:Wow.

01:07:43Guest:Yep.

01:07:44Marc:So that community, you grew up in that community.

01:07:46Guest:I grew up in the gay community.

01:07:47Guest:Really, Russians didn't.

01:07:48Marc:No, but I mean, was there a sort of a sense, not unlike Orthodox Jews, where the Russian community kind of.

01:07:52Guest:We didn't, no, honestly, no.

01:07:53Guest:No?

01:07:54Guest:We immersed very much in the American community.

01:07:56Guest:Like, as crazy as it sounds, the Russians were on the other side of Fairfax.

01:08:00Guest:Mm-hmm.

01:08:00Guest:And we were on the west side and the Russians were on the east side.

01:08:04Guest:So my parents did not stay within their community.

01:08:08Guest:If that makes sense.

01:08:09Guest:It wasn't like all of a sudden our neighbors were Russian and they were only surrounded by Russians.

01:08:12Guest:It was very much Americans, mostly gay.

01:08:15Guest:And my parents had to learn English.

01:08:17Guest:They would walk to night school to learn English.

01:08:20Guest:They immersed themselves in the Western culture.

01:08:23Guest:They got a job the next day.

01:08:24Marc:It was important to him.

01:08:25Guest:Yeah, very much so.

01:08:26Marc:All right, so you're doing Piranha with Roger Corman.

01:08:30Guest:Roger Corman's remake of Piranha, yes.

01:08:31Marc:The remake of Piranha.

01:08:32Guest:Yes, with Soleil Moonfry and William Catt.

01:08:35Marc:I don't even know who they are.

01:08:36Guest:Isn't he the greatest American hero?

01:08:37Marc:Yeah.

01:08:38Guest:And Soleil Moonfry is Punky Brewster.

01:08:40Marc:Okay.

01:08:41Marc:All right.

01:08:42Marc:So how old were you then?

01:08:44Guest:Mark, you really don't know who anybody is.

01:08:45Guest:I was... I'll get... Listen, I'm sure if I was Barack Obama, you would know more.

01:08:50Guest:It's fine.

01:08:51Marc:I understand.

01:08:52Marc:Punky Brewster.

01:08:53Marc:I know certain people.

01:08:54Guest:Yeah.

01:08:55Guest:I know who you know.

01:08:56Guest:They're not.

01:08:57Marc:No, no, no.

01:08:57Marc:I know more than... I know... All right.

01:09:00Marc:Yeah.

01:09:00Guest:Yes, Punky Rooster.

01:09:02Guest:That was like, I was nine or ten.

01:09:03Guest:Ten maybe.

01:09:04Marc:And was Roger directing it?

01:09:06Guest:No, no, no.

01:09:07Guest:It was Scott Levy was directing it.

01:09:09Marc:What did he go on to do?

01:09:10Guest:Scott Levy went off to do like a real job.

01:09:12Guest:He went off and does like, you know, some sort of like a marketing type of job.

01:09:16Guest:He's out of show business?

01:09:17Guest:Yeah.

01:09:18Marc:That was his last big thing?

01:09:19Guest:The weird thing is Scott Levy's wife, Tracy Levy, has been my makeup artist for going on 18 years.

01:09:25Marc:Your personal makeup art.

01:09:26Guest:Yes.

01:09:27Guest:Super random.

01:09:28Marc:You stay pretty loyal to people.

01:09:29Guest:Yep.

01:09:30Guest:Yep.

01:09:30Marc:And so then you're just doing movies as a kid.

01:09:32Marc:You're a kid.

01:09:33Guest:Totally.

01:09:33Guest:While going to public school.

01:09:35Marc:Yeah.

01:09:36Marc:And did people recognize you?

01:09:37Marc:Was that a problem?

01:09:38Guest:Yes and no.

01:09:39Guest:It wasn't a problem.

01:09:39Guest:But I graduated Fairfax High School.

01:09:41Guest:So I very much stayed in the public school system.

01:09:44Marc:Uh-huh.

01:09:45Marc:It's weird.

01:09:46Marc:I mean, there's so many... Are you looking things up in your computer about me?

01:09:49Guest:What do you do when you look at the computer, Mark?

01:09:51Marc:Right now, I'm just looking filmography.

01:09:52Marc:Like, I just pull up the filmography so I know the whole arc of it.

01:09:55Guest:It's so embarrassing.

01:09:56Guest:Keep going.

01:09:56Guest:It is?

01:09:57Guest:Yeah, go down my filmography.

01:09:58Guest:It's some good shit in there, Mark.

01:09:59Marc:Honey, we shrunk ourselves.

01:10:00Guest:Yes!

01:10:01Marc:You were kidding that.

01:10:02Guest:Yeah.

01:10:03Marc:And then, I don't know what Crippendorf's tribe... Crippendorf's tribe!

01:10:07Guest:That was with...

01:10:08Marc:Richard Reifers.

01:10:09Guest:Yes, Richard Reifers.

01:10:10Guest:And my part was to be in a cage and get peed on by a pig.

01:10:14Guest:So you're welcome, America.

01:10:15Marc:Really?

01:10:16Guest:Yeah, swear to God.

01:10:17Marc:What was that movie about?

01:10:18Guest:Oh, it was very cute.

01:10:19Guest:It's a family movie.

01:10:19Guest:But I played like a young girl that was, you know, it was a whole gag in school.

01:10:23Marc:Yeah.

01:10:24Guest:It was a gag.

01:10:25Marc:And then there's Get Over It.

01:10:26Guest:Yes, Get Over It was like an old school, like those Miramax comedies, you know, like tween movies.

01:10:32Marc:And then America's Psycho 2.

01:10:34Guest:I was a big one, you know?

01:10:36Guest:Yep, that was a good horror movie.

01:10:38Marc:But you were like a lead in that.

01:10:39Marc:Now you're a grown-up, right?

01:10:40Guest:No, no, no, no.

01:10:41Guest:I'm 16, 17.

01:10:42Guest:I don't even think I was 18 at the time.

01:10:44Marc:Tony and Tina's Wedding.

01:10:46Guest:Yep, I was like 18.

01:10:47Marc:That was a big movie, wasn't it?

01:10:48Guest:Yeah, it was all fine.

01:10:49Guest:It was all while I was doing 70s shows.

01:10:51Guest:So I was doing all that stuff while doing 70s and while going to school.

01:10:54Guest:How long was the 70s show on?

01:10:55Guest:Eight years.

01:10:56Marc:Eight years.

01:10:56Guest:So I was going to public school, doing 70s, and then doing a movie.

01:10:59Marc:How'd you get the 70s show?

01:11:00Guest:I auditioned for it.

01:11:02Guest:I have no other story for you.

01:11:03Guest:That's it?

01:11:03Guest:I literally just auditioned for it.

01:11:05Guest:It was pilot season.

01:11:06Guest:I auditioned for a bunch of stuff.

01:11:07Guest:I remember I got a show...

01:11:09Guest:Either I got a show, I was up for a show called like Sunset Beach.

01:11:12Guest:And it was a soap opera.

01:11:13Guest:And it had lots of really cute boys.

01:11:16Guest:And my manager, Susan, took me to the soap opera edition.

01:11:19Guest:And I ended up getting it.

01:11:20Guest:And I was like, I want to do this.

01:11:21Guest:And she was like, no, you have a callback for that 70s show.

01:11:23Guest:It's much better.

01:11:24Guest:And I was like, yeah, but this one's got really cute boys.

01:11:26Guest:And she was like, no.

01:11:27Guest:And so she was like, let's just see what happens with 70s.

01:11:30Guest:And ended up getting 70s.

01:11:32Guest:And I was like, I can't believe I have to do this show.

01:11:34Guest:I don't even get it.

01:11:35Guest:What's the show about?

01:11:35Guest:And she was like, trust me.

01:11:37Marc:Yeah, and it was huge.

01:11:39Guest:Not off the bat, no.

01:11:41Marc:But it went on for a long time.

01:11:43Guest:It went on for eight years.

01:11:44Guest:It was an incredible show.

01:11:45Guest:It was Bonnie and Terry Turner, Mark Brazile.

01:11:47Guest:It was a great show.

01:11:48Marc:Mark Brazile, yeah.

01:11:49Marc:I think I met him once or twice.

01:11:51Marc:I think he was a comic a million years ago.

01:11:53Guest:He was a comic a million years ago.

01:11:54Guest:Bonnie and Terry did SNL.

01:11:55Marc:Right.

01:11:57Marc:And that's where you met Ashton at first?

01:11:59Guest:Yes, when I was 14 and he was 19.

01:12:02Marc:So, weren't you his girlfriend on the show, too?

01:12:05Guest:Yep.

01:12:06Marc:So, did you guys make out?

01:12:08Guest:Yep, in the show.

01:12:09Marc:Yeah.

01:12:10Guest:With no feelings whatsoever.

01:12:11Guest:It's the weirdest story that nobody believes, but it's the God's honest truth.

01:12:15Marc:Well, I've had to kiss people on screen.

01:12:17Marc:You just do it.

01:12:18Guest:There's nothing there.

01:12:19Guest:It was like, whatever.

01:12:20Guest:I mean, yeah.

01:12:22Guest:Yeah.

01:12:22Guest:I know.

01:12:23Guest:It's weird.

01:12:24Marc:Well, I mean, what?

01:12:26Marc:Do you like?

01:12:27Guest:No, it's something that I think back and I was like, you know, he and I talk about it.

01:12:31Guest:We're like, yes, had we connected then, would we have connected?

01:12:35Guest:No, because the people that we worked back then would never be together.

01:12:38Guest:But it's just such a bummer that we missed out on 20 years together.

01:12:41Marc:Is it?

01:12:42Guest:Yeah, for us.

01:12:42Guest:I mean, I look back and I'm like, we could have spent 20 years together.

01:12:45Marc:Yeah, but you didn't like him the same way then.

01:12:47Guest:I know, exactly.

01:12:48Guest:No, I know.

01:12:48Guest:What are you going to do?

01:12:49Guest:We would have never been together if we didn't both go through what we went through in order to be the people that we were when we met.

01:12:54Marc:Right.

01:12:54Guest:Reconnected, I should say, not met.

01:12:56Marc:Mm-hmm.

01:12:56Guest:Yeah.

01:12:57Marc:Topher Grace, I think he's a good actor.

01:12:59Marc:I like him.

01:13:00Guest:Everybody out of that came out amazing.

01:13:02Guest:Yeah.

01:13:03Guest:Everybody went off and did amazing things and have their own careers.

01:13:06Marc:Don Stark.

01:13:07Marc:He was on my show for an episode.

01:13:09Guest:Don Stark is awesome, by the way.

01:13:11Guest:Don Stark and I were in Santa Claus with muscles together prior to that 70s show.

01:13:15Marc:Yeah?

01:13:15Guest:He and I did a movie together.

01:13:16Marc:He's a nice guy, right?

01:13:17Guest:Don Stark's incredible.

01:13:18Marc:But, like, do you consider, like, on that 70s show, so you got a lot of feedback, you know, people recognize you and everything, but do you think, like, did you feel like you were doing your best work then, or did you feel like... Best work at 15?

01:13:30Marc:Yeah, but you know what I mean.

01:13:32Guest:No.

01:13:32Guest:It's very different when you're, like, doing that as a gig, not as a career.

01:13:37Guest:Right.

01:13:37Guest:There's two different versions of this industry, and I think that I've been able to appreciate both.

01:13:43Guest:I did one as a hobby, and I did it as a career.

01:13:46Marc:And it's two very... When was the hobby?

01:13:47Guest:My whole life until I was 20.

01:13:49Guest:Until I was 19 was a hobby.

01:13:51Marc:Oh, really?

01:13:51Marc:You were a kid doing something fun?

01:13:53Guest:Yeah.

01:13:54Marc:And did you train at all?

01:13:56Guest:No.

01:13:58Guest:Train?

01:13:59Guest:What the fuck are you talking about?

01:14:01Guest:Mark, I'm such a bummer of a question.

01:14:03Guest:People are like, so tell me what method.

01:14:05Guest:I'm like, I don't have anything.

01:14:06Guest:No, no.

01:14:06Marc:A lot of people don't like to listen to that stuff.

01:14:08Marc:I got nothing.

01:14:08Marc:I'd rather your story.

01:14:10Guest:No, Mark.

01:14:10Guest:I'd rather have something intelligent to say.

01:14:12Marc:You just have a knack for it.

01:14:14Guest:I don't know.

01:14:15Guest:Whatever I do, I love it.

01:14:16Guest:I love what I do.

01:14:17Guest:Even in the craziest of moments, I'm like, I have no other skills in life.

01:14:20Guest:I have no other passions.

01:14:22Guest:I'm fucked.

01:14:23Guest:I just love everything about this industry.

01:14:25Guest:I mean, there's aspects of it that I can't stand, but I love what I do for a living.

01:14:29Marc:You have other skills.

01:14:30Guest:I have yet to find them.

01:14:31Marc:Really?

01:14:32Guest:This industry is my, I love this industry.

01:14:33Guest:I love producing.

01:14:35Guest:I love acting.

01:14:35Guest:I love this industry.

01:14:36Guest:I mean, I love learning.

01:14:38Guest:You do a lot of producing?

01:14:39Guest:Yeah, I have a TV production company at a Sony.

01:14:41Marc:Yeah, and what have you been doing?

01:14:42Guest:We have six shows in development with Sony.

01:14:45Marc:Really?

01:14:45Marc:Yeah, it's really.

01:14:46Marc:Your company?

01:14:47Guest:My company.

01:14:47Marc:How long has it been over there?

01:14:49Guest:We've only been at Sony for maybe nine months.

01:14:52Guest:No, less.

01:14:53Guest:What are we in?

01:14:53Guest:July.

01:14:54Guest:Six, seven months we've been at Sony prior to that we were at a different place.

01:14:57Marc:And you have production partners and you have development people and you take meetings and you buy projects.

01:15:02Guest:I pitch through the whole.

01:15:03Guest:I pitch.

01:15:04Guest:Yeah, I go to every single pitch in town.

01:15:06Guest:If I'm in town and capable of going and if I'm not doing.

01:15:08Marc:As a producer.

01:15:09Guest:As a producer.

01:15:10Guest:Yeah, not for myself.

01:15:10Guest:And I put on shows and I package shows and sell shows that have nothing to do with me.

01:15:14Marc:Have you sold any?

01:15:15Marc:No.

01:15:15Guest:Tons.

01:15:15Guest:We've sold a whole company together.

01:15:18Guest:There's like somewhere between 18 and 19 shows we have sold.

01:15:21Guest:We've yet to get a show on the air.

01:15:22Guest:So let's just be clear here.

01:15:24Guest:Getting a show on the air is a very different thing.

01:15:26Guest:But this year we're taking a different approach and we're packaging with actors.

01:15:29Guest:And so now we have shows that are packaged with actors that we're going to be selling as a full package, which will make things a lot easier.

01:15:33Marc:So this sounds like what you're doing.

01:15:36Guest:I love it.

01:15:37Guest:It is what I do because Ashton and I, when we decided to have a family, said we're never going to separate the family.

01:15:41Guest:And so, so long as he's shooting his show, I'm in LA with the kids.

01:15:45Marc:That's the ranch show.

01:15:46Guest:That's the ranch on Netflix.

01:15:46Guest:And then if I'm doing a movie, then we uproot the whole family wherever I am.

01:15:50Guest:So that allows me.

01:15:51Guest:So very quickly, I have 10 months out of the year where I'm in LA, you know, whatever, nine, eight, nine months out of the year.

01:15:56Marc:But I mean, I guess the question is, do you prefer this work to the acting?

01:16:00Guest:I love it.

01:16:00Marc:More engaging, a lot more levels.

01:16:02Guest:Yeah.

01:16:03Marc:Working with talent.

01:16:04Marc:Collaborative.

01:16:05Guest:Yeah, all of that.

01:16:06Guest:It's so much fun and it's a little bit unexpected.

01:16:10Guest:By the way, I love acting.

01:16:11Guest:I really do.

01:16:12Guest:But acting, you have so little control.

01:16:13Guest:And there's something about it that's freeing, but then there's something about it that's a bummer.

01:16:16Guest:Like you do this much work, you put out a movie and you're like, well, I have no control over anything.

01:16:20Marc:Right, you don't even know if you're going to be in it.

01:16:22Guest:Yeah.

01:16:22Guest:I mean, that's the truth.

01:16:23Guest:You might get kicked.

01:16:24Guest:All these aspects come to play.

01:16:25Guest:You can't trust your performance when you're shooting because ultimately it's Frankenstein in the edit room anyways.

01:16:31Marc:It is, right?

01:16:31Guest:Yeah.

01:16:32Guest:So none of it really matters.

01:16:33Guest:You just got to love what you do and do it for the right reasons because the end result is completely outside of your control.

01:16:38Marc:So, okay, so you're doing that 70s show.

01:16:40Marc:You're doing these other weird movies as a kid.

01:16:43Guest:Yeah.

01:16:43Marc:Some of them, you know, I don't know.

01:16:45Marc:There's so many gadgets over here, Mark.

01:16:48Guest:I feel like I just want to touch everything.

01:16:49Marc:That's okay.

01:16:50Marc:Some people do it.

01:16:51Marc:Your friend Jennifer Lawrence touched everything.

01:16:54Guest:Well, that's because it makes sense.

01:16:56Marc:I don't know.

01:16:57Marc:I have the knife.

01:16:58Marc:Some people gravitate towards the knife.

01:17:00Guest:And a hammer?

01:17:02Marc:You're the second person.

01:17:04Marc:Back in my other space, it was so cluttered, the things didn't stand out as much as they do here.

01:17:09Guest:This is like... Oh, Jesus.

01:17:12Marc:It's a half a hammer.

01:17:13Marc:It's a broken hammer.

01:17:14Guest:There's a really great docuseries that I'm watching on Netflix.

01:17:18Guest:I'm not even promoting it, but the hammer, for some reason, reminded me of it.

01:17:21Guest:It's called Drug Lords, and it's all about the big drug lords in the world.

01:17:24Guest:Is it good?

01:17:25Guest:Yeah, it's great.

01:17:26Guest:So there's two seasons, four episodes per season.

01:17:29Guest:It's not that much to watch.

01:17:30Guest:And so it's eight episodes total.

01:17:32Guest:And you have your El Chapo, which everybody kind of knows about.

01:17:35Guest:But then you have these random women that I've never heard about, which I always thought was really fascinating.

01:17:39Guest:Like the Queen of Crack.

01:17:41Guest:Oh, really?

01:17:41Guest:Yeah, which I was like, who's this Queen of Crack?

01:17:43Guest:And it's out of Los Angeles.

01:17:44Guest:And there's this woman that was...

01:17:47Marc:Crack lord?

01:17:48Guest:Yeah.

01:17:49Guest:Wow.

01:17:49Guest:A crack duchess?

01:17:50Guest:Yeah, yeah.

01:17:51Guest:It's really cool.

01:17:51Guest:So anyways, the hammer reminds me of it because I feel like all the drug lords at one point beat someone with their head with a hammer.

01:17:56Marc:That's a rite of passage.

01:17:58Marc:I think it's very violent.

01:18:00Marc:So I talked to Macaulay Culkin.

01:18:02Guest:Did he come on your show?

01:18:03Marc:At the old place.

01:18:04Marc:Yeah.

01:18:05Marc:Yeah, it's sort of interesting because you guys dated for a while.

01:18:09Marc:Yeah.

01:18:10Marc:Because he will not say your name now.

01:18:12Marc:Yeah.

01:18:13Marc:He'll just say, it's somebody, someone.

01:18:15Guest:I know.

01:18:16Marc:He's protecting you now somehow.

01:18:18Guest:Yeah, it's very nice of him, yeah.

01:18:19Marc:But you'll say who it was.

01:18:21Guest:I'll just do what he said.

01:18:22Guest:It's somebody who was back then.

01:18:25Marc:But how long did you go out with that guy?

01:18:27Guest:Seven years.

01:18:27Marc:That's a long time.

01:18:28Marc:Yeah.

01:18:29Marc:And you guys still friends?

01:18:30Guest:Probably not as friendly as we could be, no.

01:18:33Marc:Oh, really?

01:18:33Guest:Yeah.

01:18:34Marc:Too weird?

01:18:35Guest:Yeah, there's just too many aspects of it that I'm sure just prevented us from ever moving forward past.

01:18:41Marc:Well, how old were you?

01:18:41Marc:Because he was huge and you were kind of like... We dated from when I was 18, 19 until 25-ish.

01:18:50Marc:And you didn't want to get married or anything?

01:18:52Guest:No, I never believed in the concept of marriage, an institution of marriage until... You want to have kids?

01:18:57Guest:Until I decided to have children.

01:19:00Guest:Exactly.

01:19:00Marc:Yeah, I mean, the Culkin thing was like, that must have been a lot, because to be with somebody who is that kind of actor, with that kind of family, I can't imagine at 18 having to deal with that stuff.

01:19:10Marc:I mean, it's a lot of stuff.

01:19:11Guest:Yeah.

01:19:12Guest:I mean, yeah.

01:19:12Guest:Yes and no.

01:19:13Guest:Yeah.

01:19:14Marc:His brother's doing a good job on that show.

01:19:15Guest:I haven't seen it yet.

01:19:16Guest:On Succession.

01:19:17Guest:Yeah.

01:19:17Marc:Did you know his brother, too?

01:19:19Guest:Yeah.

01:19:19Marc:Yeah.

01:19:19Marc:Like everybody knew each other.

01:19:21Guest:Yeah.

01:19:21Guest:I mean, you know, you date one person, you date the family.

01:19:23Guest:Right.

01:19:24Marc:Yeah.

01:19:25Marc:I don't know what I want to get out of that.

01:19:27Marc:There's nothing I really need to know.

01:19:29Marc:But I just thought it was interesting when I talked to him that, you know, he's still kind of protective of the whole thing.

01:19:34Marc:And it's so many years later.

01:19:36Yeah.

01:19:36Guest:Yeah.

01:19:37Guest:Yeah.

01:19:37Marc:Why do you think that is?

01:19:38Guest:He's very private.

01:19:39Marc:Yeah.

01:19:40Marc:He's got podcasts now.

01:19:42Marc:I found it difficult when I was talking to him because he's private, but he likes to, he's a charmer.

01:19:47Marc:You know, he'll, you know, he kind of performs and you have to figure out where you're going to get just a little kernel of something personal.

01:19:54Marc:It doesn't just come out.

01:19:55Guest:Do you find that to be true for most people or no?

01:19:58Marc:Well, it just depends what people want to talk about and where you want to go.

01:20:01Marc:I mean, it feels to me that if somebody has something like if it happens organically, it'll happen, you know, but you can't.

01:20:10Marc:But he's so scrutinized for so long for his whole life.

01:20:14Marc:And he was so young that his habit is to to protect himself.

01:20:19Guest:Yep, exactly.

01:20:20Marc:Right?

01:20:20Guest:Yep.

01:20:20Guest:Yeah.

01:20:21Marc:But you don't feel that.

01:20:22Marc:Do you feel that for yourself, having been started that long ago as a kid?

01:20:25Guest:I don't have to deal.

01:20:27Guest:I didn't deal with what he had to deal with.

01:20:29Guest:Right.

01:20:29Guest:So it's very different, honestly.

01:20:31Guest:Being a huge, yeah.

01:20:33Guest:At such a young age.

01:20:34Guest:There's so many aspects of it that I think that you preserve your privacy as much as you can.

01:20:39Guest:And having children, I can understand that now.

01:20:41Marc:Oh, yeah?

01:20:42Guest:Yeah.

01:20:43Marc:Well, you don't get a lot of flack, do you, anymore?

01:20:45Marc:Yeah.

01:20:45Guest:Flack meaning.

01:20:46Marc:I mean like the Mike Pence thing, but there's not, you don't.

01:20:50Guest:No, but no, no, not nearly.

01:20:52Guest:But I never really got flack.

01:20:53Guest:I just get followed by paparazzi a lot.

01:20:56Guest:But not flack.

01:20:56Marc:Why do you think you, why did they choose you?

01:20:59Guest:Two actors together.

01:21:00Marc:Oh, so it's a freak show to them.

01:21:02Guest:Yeah, I think that if I was to be with an engineer or whatever, like a money guy.

01:21:09Marc:Yeah, and also, right, okay, that makes sense.

01:21:12Marc:So what do you think was the big turning point for you in terms of like, was Sarah Marshall a big turning point for you?

01:21:18Guest:Yeah.

01:21:18Marc:Because it was the shift to movies?

01:21:19Guest:Yeah.

01:21:20Marc:And you were good in that.

01:21:22Guest:Thanks, Mark.

01:21:23Guest:I appreciate it.

01:21:24Guest:That was almost really believable.

01:21:26Marc:What are you talking about?

01:21:27Marc:I like that movie.

01:21:28Marc:I like Jason.

01:21:29Marc:I like Kristen.

01:21:30Marc:Yeah.

01:21:30Marc:The shift to film, so that was exciting.

01:21:33Guest:Well, it was...

01:21:35Guest:So here's what happened.

01:21:37Guest:So 70s show was ending and then I had to make a decision.

01:21:41Guest:Do I go to college and do something with my life or do I start taking acting seriously?

01:21:47Marc:So it really was a hobby in your mind.

01:21:50Guest:I'm not kidding you.

01:21:50Guest:It really was a hobby.

01:21:51Guest:Well, it was like, you know, I do this while I also go to school.

01:21:54Guest:If I didn't look at it as a hobby, I don't know if I would have gone through the public school system of Los Angeles.

01:21:57Guest:I think I would have just legally emancipated myself and called it a day and done a career at 16.

01:22:02Guest:Right.

01:22:02Guest:So, yes.

01:22:04Guest:So I asked my parents for permission.

01:22:06Guest:Yeah.

01:22:06Guest:And I was like, hey, look, can I defer from school?

01:22:09Guest:I'll go back.

01:22:10Guest:I promise I'll go back.

01:22:11Guest:Can I just defer and give this a shot?

01:22:13Guest:And I was at LMU at the time.

01:22:15Guest:And I didn't even go a day to LMU.

01:22:17Guest:But I was like, okay.

01:22:17Marc:What's LMU?

01:22:18Guest:Loyola Marymount.

01:22:19Marc:Oh, yeah.

01:22:20Guest:And my parents were like, OK, well, if you're going to make this a career, then you got to start taking this seriously.

01:22:25Marc:Yeah.

01:22:25Marc:What does that mean?

01:22:26Guest:Exactly.

01:22:27Guest:And I was like, yeah, totally.

01:22:28Guest:I don't know what that meant.

01:22:29Guest:And so I was like, I got this.

01:22:31Guest:And then I, you know, 20 years ago, no, 15 years ago, it was a little bit of different industry.

01:22:37Guest:It was like if you came out of television, then you were stuck in the television bubble.

01:22:39Guest:And if you came out of film, you weren't going back to TV.

01:22:42Marc:Right.

01:22:42Marc:And so both of those things have changed.

01:22:44Guest:Everything's changed.

01:22:45Marc:Yeah.

01:22:45Guest:So at 20, I was like, you know what?

01:22:47Guest:I want to do something different.

01:22:48Guest:And they're like, well, you should do television.

01:22:50Guest:And I was like, I don't want to do television.

01:22:52Guest:76 was ending.

01:22:53Guest:I want to try something different.

01:22:55Guest:And so I had, I can honestly say I had no ego.

01:22:57Guest:And I auditioned for everybody and everything.

01:22:59Guest:And I didn't really care what I was auditioning for.

01:23:01Guest:Right.

01:23:01Guest:And I met with Judd at the time earlier for a different movie.

01:23:05Guest:I didn't end up getting that movie, but I had a lot of fun riffing with Seth Rogen at the time.

01:23:11Guest:Right.

01:23:11Guest:For a different film.

01:23:12Marc:Yeah.

01:23:12Marc:For which movie?

01:23:13Marc:For... Not the 40-year-old virgin.

01:23:16Guest:No.

01:23:16Guest:Knocked up.

01:23:17Guest:Knocked up.

01:23:17Guest:Yeah.

01:23:18Guest:So when I met with Judd... By the way, this is something that I think they can attest to better than I can.

01:23:22Guest:But I met for it.

01:23:23Guest:Didn't ultimately end up getting it, but had the best time riffing with Rogen.

01:23:26Guest:Yeah.

01:23:27Guest:A year later, less than, he was like, hey, I'm doing this table read.

01:23:30Guest:Will you come in and do a favor and do this table read?

01:23:32Guest:It's for a movie called Blah Blah Blah.

01:23:34Guest:And I was like, okay.

01:23:36Guest:Because sometimes you just do table reads for people.

01:23:37Guest:It's not that big of a deal.

01:23:38Guest:So I went and did the table read.

01:23:40Guest:Very different group of people were at the table read.

01:23:42Marc:It's for Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

01:23:43Guest:For Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

01:23:45Guest:It's a whole bunch of different people.

01:23:47Guest:The only person that was consistent was Siegel.

01:23:49Guest:So we did the table read.

01:23:51Guest:Cut to seven months later.

01:23:52Guest:They green light the film.

01:23:53Guest:And I think that they must have gone through other actors.

01:23:56Guest:I don't even know.

01:23:57Guest:Yeah.

01:23:57Guest:Ultimately came back to me and they were like, hey, would you want to be a part of this?

01:24:00Guest:And I was like, oh, yeah.

01:24:01Guest:I mean, it was like Judd Apatow in the height of Judd Apatow.

01:24:04Marc:Right.

01:24:04Guest:It was amazing.

01:24:05Marc:You did it in Hawaii?

01:24:06Guest:Yeah.

01:24:07Guest:It was like summer camp.

01:24:07Guest:Yeah.

01:24:08Guest:At the best time ever.

01:24:09Guest:But then after that film, everybody wants to put you into a box of just doing like those type of movies.

01:24:14Guest:So I was like, okay, so now you just do romantic comedies.

01:24:17Guest:Right.

01:24:17Guest:And I was like, no.

01:24:19No.

01:24:19Guest:Because I didn't want to be one specific thing, because it's so easy to get stuck in a place where everybody assumes you're something, and then all of a sudden, when they're sick of you there, you're done, because you haven't proven yourself elsewhere.

01:24:27Guest:So I was like, no, I'm going to do something else.

01:24:29Guest:So I went and did other projects before I went back to doing another romantic comedy.

01:24:33Marc:Yeah, well, you did some weird ones.

01:24:35Marc:That Book of Eli, was that what it was called?

01:24:37Guest:Yeah, Book of Eli was Denzel Washington and Gary Roman.

01:24:39Guest:Yeah, I know, I saw that.

01:24:39Marc:That was crazy.

01:24:40Marc:Extract's a weird movie.

01:24:41Guest:Extract was awesome, yep.

01:24:43Guest:That was great.

01:24:44Marc:Mike Judge movie.

01:24:44Guest:Mike Judge and Jason Bateman.

01:24:46Marc:But Black Swan's great.

01:24:47Guest:Black Swan.

01:24:48Guest:But Black Swan, Darren, I, well, again, better talk to Darren about this.

01:24:53Guest:But I feel like Black Swan happened because of Sarah Marshall.

01:24:55Guest:I think he saw me in Sarah Marshall and then was like, oh, and we Skyped.

01:24:58Guest:I never read for or interviewed or whatever, auditioned for Black Swan.

01:25:02Guest:We Skyped.

01:25:03Guest:Yeah.

01:25:03Guest:I was in LA.

01:25:03Guest:He was in New York.

01:25:04Guest:And then we ended up just talking, talking about the character, talking about the script, talking about other things.

01:25:07Marc:Yeah.

01:25:07Guest:And I think he saw me out of Sarah Marshall and was like, all right.

01:25:10Marc:But it's a different role.

01:25:12Guest:Totally different.

01:25:13Guest:Totally different.

01:25:13Marc:Well, what do you, like, okay, because I act a little bit, and you're telling me you don't have any training at all.

01:25:18Guest:So... Training in the sense of, like, do I follow, like, classical methods?

01:25:22Marc:Well, no, but I mean, it's like you just, like, because...

01:25:25Marc:You learned on the job.

01:25:27Marc:You've been doing stuff since you were nine.

01:25:28Marc:You know how to be on a set.

01:25:29Marc:You know how to do all these things.

01:25:30Marc:But in terms of like using your emotional range and all that stuff, that's just something that you can lock into because you know how to be present on a set.

01:25:40Marc:Yep.

01:25:40Guest:right no one you didn't do scene study you don't do any of that shit nope you didn't have a coach ever i did have a coach for which one i had coached my whole life i had a woman named kaylee hummel who's great who's still around um she 100 helped me with auditions because auditioning is a very different um art form yeah than acting on a set right and so absolutely i used to have a coach her name is kaylee hummel she was awesome

01:26:05Marc:So what's happening with this new movie?

01:26:08Marc:How come they didn't even give me a screening?

01:26:11Guest:Oh, because I just wanted to come on your show regardless of the movie.

01:26:14Guest:That's the truth.

01:26:15Guest:I was like, whatever.

01:26:16Guest:I'll just go do more.

01:26:17Guest:I don't care when.

01:26:17Guest:And they're like, why don't you wait to promote something?

01:26:19Guest:I was like, why?

01:26:19Guest:Who cares?

01:26:21Guest:And so then I think that the timing worked out because I was supposed to do your show a year ago.

01:26:24Marc:You were?

01:26:25Guest:Yes.

01:26:26Guest:And then the timing didn't work out with your schedule.

01:26:28Guest:And it was just literally because of my girlfriends out over there.

01:26:31Guest:They were like, you have to do Marc Maron's show.

01:26:33Guest:And I was like, oh, God, what am I going to follow Barack Obama?

01:26:36Guest:And then they're like, yeah.

01:26:37Guest:Yeah.

01:26:38Guest:Like, OK.

01:26:39Marc:But so this movie, though, it's with McKinnon, right?

01:26:41Guest:Yes.

01:26:41Guest:So this is a spy with Dom to me.

01:26:43Guest:Wait.

01:26:43Guest:So am I really promoting it?

01:26:44Guest:Because when does when do you put out your podcast?

01:26:46Guest:Does it matter?

01:26:47Guest:I'll promote it.

01:26:47Guest:Who cares?

01:26:48Marc:So when is it coming out?

01:26:50Guest:August 3rd.

01:26:50Marc:Yeah, that's about right.

01:26:51Guest:Oh, check that out.

01:26:52Guest:Yeah.

01:26:52Guest:So look at that.

01:26:53Guest:It really worked out.

01:26:54Guest:Yeah.

01:26:55Guest:Spy who dumped me.

01:26:56Guest:Two best friends on an adventure in Europe.

01:26:58Guest:So my boyfriend, played by Justin Theroux, is a spy.

01:27:02Guest:Yeah.

01:27:02Guest:He dumps me.

01:27:03Guest:Yeah.

01:27:03Guest:Spoiler alert.

01:27:04Guest:And we go on this adventure to try to get a piece of information to somebody else in the middle of Europe.

01:27:10Guest:And it's what happens when these two girls who have no spy training whatsoever get thralled into this, you know, espionage.

01:27:15Marc:It's fun.

01:27:15Guest:Very fun.

01:27:17Guest:What they call it, like, if 007 meets the Bridesmaids.

01:27:19Marc:Yeah, and she's fun to work with.

01:27:21Guest:Kate?

01:27:22Guest:Yeah.

01:27:22Guest:Have you interviewed her?

01:27:23Marc:No.

01:27:23Marc:So smart.

01:27:24Marc:I don't know that... I get the feeling she might not want to come on.

01:27:27Marc:What'd you do?

01:27:28Marc:Nothing.

01:27:29Marc:Oh.

01:27:29Marc:Why do you say that, then?

01:27:30Marc:I don't know, because, like, why hasn't she been on?

01:27:32Guest:Well...

01:27:33Guest:I don't know.

01:27:34Marc:Do you know what I mean?

01:27:35Guest:Did you ask her?

01:27:35Marc:Yeah, we've reached out to her.

01:27:37Marc:We've talked to her.

01:27:38Marc:I don't maybe... I don't know.

01:27:41Marc:I don't know either.

01:27:41Guest:I'll find out for you.

01:27:43Marc:Sometimes it's hard with the SNL people because they're in New York constantly and they're rarely out here, but I've certainly... Okay, but wait.

01:27:49Guest:Have you ever interviewed SNL people while they were on SNL?

01:27:52Marc:Yeah.

01:27:53Guest:Oh.

01:27:53Marc:Yeah, I don't think that's it.

01:27:55Guest:Oh, I don't know that.

01:27:55Marc:I believe that I have.

01:27:57Marc:Sure, I must have.

01:27:58Guest:I don't know if you have.

01:27:59Marc:Really?

01:28:00Marc:Why?

01:28:00Guest:I don't know.

01:28:01Guest:I think they're very protective.

01:28:02Marc:I've interviewed Lorne Michaels when he was on SNL.

01:28:04Guest:Well, that's different.

01:28:04Guest:He's the boss.

01:28:05Guest:I don't know if other people have.

01:28:07Guest:Think back about it.

01:28:08Guest:I don't know.

01:28:08Guest:Not a trick question, but I know they're very protective about the press that their cast does.

01:28:12Marc:Oh, really?

01:28:14Marc:Mm-hmm.

01:28:14Marc:I don't know.

01:28:14Marc:Wow, I never thought about that.

01:28:15Guest:And you're a little bit controversial.

01:28:17Marc:No, I'm not.

01:28:17Marc:Yes, you are.

01:28:18Guest:What does that mean?

01:28:18Guest:Because you pull shit out of people that they don't intend to talk about.

01:28:21Marc:I didn't pull shit out of you.

01:28:22Guest:Well, no, but I'm also very much an open book.

01:28:24Guest:Are you?

01:28:24Guest:I have nobody to answer to other than myself.

01:28:26Marc:Yeah.

01:28:27Marc:Well, that's a nice place to be.

01:28:29Marc:It's the truth.

01:28:30Marc:So what is it that you haven't done that you want to do if you love this business so much?

01:28:34Marc:Oh, we did the, like, oh, what was that movie about?

01:28:37Marc:The Ted movie that was the bear?

01:28:38Guest:Talking Bear.

01:28:40Marc:Seth MacFarlane.

01:28:41Guest:Mark Wahlberg.

01:28:43Marc:He seems like a...

01:28:44Guest:Have you not had Mark on the show?

01:28:45Marc:No, he's another guy.

01:28:46Marc:I know Boston guys.

01:28:47Marc:I was in Boston a long time.

01:28:48Guest:I feel like you're failing people.

01:28:50Guest:You should really get Wahlberg on the show.

01:28:52Guest:Mark is awesome.

01:28:53Guest:I've done a couple movies with Mark.

01:28:54Guest:I love him.

01:28:55Guest:He's great.

01:28:56Guest:He's like one of those male co-stars where you're like, you're so nice.

01:28:59Marc:And he's solid.

01:29:00Marc:Solid.

01:29:01Marc:Good actor, delivers the goods.

01:29:03Guest:But also has a work ethic of shows up to work, has his shit together, and wants to go home.

01:29:08Guest:Do you know what I mean?

01:29:09Guest:I really do respect that.

01:29:12Marc:Have you been on a lot of sets where people show up and they don't have their shit together?

01:29:16Guest:Not necessarily they don't have their shit together.

01:29:18Guest:They meander.

01:29:20Guest:They're like, well, let's figure this out.

01:29:22Guest:I'm like, oh, good.

01:29:23Guest:Let's just fight.

01:29:26Guest:Clearly, they don't want to go home.

01:29:27Guest:That's what I like to call it.

01:29:28Guest:Don't we all just want to go home?

01:29:29Guest:Let's work.

01:29:30Guest:Let's work the best that we possibly can.

01:29:32Guest:Let's put out something awesome.

01:29:34Guest:But let's go see outside.

01:29:37Marc:It's like we all know what we're here to do.

01:29:39Marc:You don't like the exploratory process.

01:29:41Guest:I like exploring and having fun while in the scene and doing great stuff.

01:29:46Marc:Right.

01:29:46Guest:But let's not halt production for two hours to talk about why your character has to pick up that piece of paper.

01:29:52Marc:Just shoot it.

01:29:53Marc:Just pick it up.

01:29:54Marc:Shoot it both ways and move on.

01:29:56Guest:See what happens.

01:29:56Marc:Yeah, yeah.

01:29:57Guest:It's not that big of a deal.

01:29:58Marc:Right.

01:29:59Guest:Pick this cube up.

01:30:00Guest:You don't want to.

01:30:00Guest:Not a big deal.

01:30:01Guest:Just don't pick it up on the next take.

01:30:02Marc:Did you ever want to do theater?

01:30:03Guest:No.

01:30:04Marc:Why?

01:30:06Guest:It's just not...

01:30:07Guest:I did a little bit of theater in L.A.

01:30:09Guest:By a little bit, I mean I did one show.

01:30:13Guest:I don't know.

01:30:13Guest:The repetition aspect of it's not something that excites me.

01:30:16Marc:Doing it every night, you mean?

01:30:18Guest:Yeah.

01:30:18Guest:Doing a TV show is kind of like that because you get the live audience once a week, so you get the feel of feeding off people's energy.

01:30:25Marc:Right.

01:30:26Marc:Movies aren't like that, though.

01:30:27Guest:Not at all.

01:30:28Guest:I love TV.

01:30:29Marc:Are you going to do another Bad Moms movie?

01:30:31Marc:No.

01:30:32Marc:Really?

01:30:32Marc:It seems like something you could do every year if you wanted to.

01:30:34Guest:Does it, though, Mark?

01:30:36Guest:Does it?

01:30:39Marc:People seem to like that.

01:30:40Guest:I love the writers off of it.

01:30:41Marc:Don't the ladies like it?

01:30:42Guest:Yeah.

01:30:43Guest:By the way, I loved it.

01:30:44Guest:I love John and Scott so very, very, very much.

01:30:48Guest:But, you know, I think it's time to, like, let, you know, we're going to, hopefully we'll see them.

01:30:51Marc:Catherine Han's so good.

01:30:52Guest:Have you had her?

01:30:53Marc:Yes, I have.

01:30:53Guest:So here you go.

01:30:54Marc:I've talked to Katherine Hahn.

01:30:55Marc:I've talked to Kristen Bell.

01:30:57Marc:I've talked to whoever.

01:30:59Marc:I've talked to as many people as I can.

01:31:02Marc:I'm not avoiding anybody.

01:31:04Marc:How often do you record?

01:31:05Marc:I had put two up a week.

01:31:09Marc:You know, there's two a week I do.

01:31:11Marc:Yeah.

01:31:11Marc:So I'm recording.

01:31:12Marc:Sometimes people don't want to talk about themselves.

01:31:15Guest:Most people don't.

01:31:16Guest:Right.

01:31:17Guest:I clearly have no problem talking about myself.

01:31:19Guest:I'm like, what do you want to know?

01:31:20Marc:Let's get back to that question.

01:31:21Marc:What is it that you want to do that you haven't done?

01:31:23Guest:I don't know.

01:31:23Guest:Really?

01:31:24Guest:I know I don't write.

01:31:25Marc:Do you want to direct?

01:31:26Marc:Do you have a director?

01:31:26Guest:No.

01:31:26Guest:Maybe.

01:31:27Guest:I've never directed anything in my life other than my family.

01:31:31Marc:But you're producing now, so why wouldn't you direct?

01:31:34Guest:I might one day.

01:31:35Guest:I really would.

01:31:35Guest:I think I just have to wrap my head around it.

01:31:37Guest:It's just a very different tool that I've never used or a different muscle that I would have to retrain or work.

01:31:42Marc:Here's what you do.

01:31:42Marc:You hire really good.

01:31:44Guest:Great DP and an AD.

01:31:45Guest:Yeah, of course.

01:31:46Guest:In fact, I was like, I know who I would hire.

01:31:48Guest:But I, yeah, you start yourself with people that are smarter than you and better at you than you.

01:31:53Guest:But I, you know, if the right project came along, for sure, I would actually probably do it.

01:31:57Guest:But then I also would want to do something for the right reasons, not for the sake of doing it.

01:32:01Marc:Yeah.

01:32:02Marc:And what are you doing like politically?

01:32:03Marc:Are you doing anything exciting?

01:32:06Yeah.

01:32:06Guest:I try to be quiet politically.

01:32:07Guest:I really do.

01:32:08Guest:It's not something that I'm super vocal about.

01:32:10Guest:You're not going to see me being a pundit on CNN talking about what's happening in the world today.

01:32:14Guest:I also don't have social media, so it's not like that.

01:32:16Marc:You don't?

01:32:17Marc:I don't.

01:32:17Marc:Was that a choice recently, or you never did?

01:32:19Guest:I've never had it.

01:32:21Marc:You're so sane.

01:32:22Guest:Yeah.

01:32:24Marc:Ashton has it, doesn't he?

01:32:26Guest:Kind of.

01:32:27Guest:He used to be incredibly involved in Twitter when Twitter first started in the beginning stages of Twitter.

01:32:32Marc:On the business end?

01:32:33Marc:Oh, you mean he was one of those guys that had a million followers at the beginning?

01:32:36Guest:He was the first person, yeah.

01:32:38Guest:When he saw that Twitter was a...

01:32:40Guest:tool that was used for the better of the world and then all of a sudden Twitter became something completely different.

01:32:44Guest:I think he was like, he bailed.

01:32:47Guest:But no, he's super tech savvy and has a huge VC fund and all that stuff, but he doesn't necessarily post on Instagram and Twitter every day at all, no.

01:32:55Marc:Oh, let's get back to something.

01:32:56Marc:Now I'm a little foggy today, I guess, but I want to pick it back up.

01:33:00Guest:I'm so wide awake, I gotta tell you.

01:33:01Marc:No, it's good, it's working out for me.

01:33:02Marc:I'm glad you're carrying your end of this.

01:33:04Guest:I have to go to dance class after this.

01:33:05Marc:Dance class?

01:33:06Guest:Not for me, for my kid.

01:33:07Guest:I gotta go pick her up and take her to dance after you.

01:33:09Marc:How old is she?

01:33:10Guest:Three and a half.

01:33:10Guest:That's fun.

01:33:12Marc:You should go to dance class.

01:33:13Guest:I mean, I go with her.

01:33:14Guest:I watch her.

01:33:15Marc:I don't dance.

01:33:17Guest:I do yoga and Pilates.

01:33:20Marc:There was a time where you would know modern dance.

01:33:25Guest:Yes.

01:33:26Guest:And I don't I don't I genuinely don't have time.

01:33:29Guest:But could I if once both my kids are in school and I don't have to go to an office?

01:33:34Marc:I don't know.

01:33:34Marc:Yeah.

01:33:34Marc:I don't know.

01:33:35Marc:I decided you should be a modern dancer.

01:33:37Marc:So, OK, so you're a teenager.

01:33:39Marc:You're making out with Ashton on camera for the show.

01:33:42Marc:Yeah.

01:33:42Marc:Nothing bad happens on behind the scenes.

01:33:45Marc:Then you have a life.

01:33:47Marc:You date Macaulay Culkin for years, and then you're out of that, and then you have a couple other relationships.

01:33:53Marc:So how do you and Ashton regroup and decide?

01:33:56Marc:Was there a moment where you're like, why didn't we do this before?

01:34:02Marc:I always felt this way about you?

01:34:04Guest:No, we never felt like this about each other ever, and that's the truth.

01:34:06Guest:Honestly, that is the real truth.

01:34:08Guest:We always kept in touch.

01:34:10Guest:I chatted.

01:34:12Guest:AOL used to have instant messenger, and so we always kept in touch over instant messenger.

01:34:15Guest:When we popped up, we were like, how is it going?

01:34:18Guest:How's life?

01:34:18Guest:Like, is everything okay?

01:34:20Marc:And he was also in this weird, like, you know, I think some of us during it were sort of like, what's going on over there at the Demi Moore compound?

01:34:26Guest:They had like a normal, real relationship.

01:34:29Guest:They had like three kids they were raising.

01:34:31Guest:It was like a normal life.

01:34:32Marc:He was just like 20 years younger or whatever.

01:34:33Guest:Yeah, whatever their age difference was.

01:34:35Guest:Yeah, he was younger, but he, you know, loved those kids.

01:34:37Marc:Yeah, everything was just like he was- Does he still have a relationship with them?

01:34:40Marc:Mm-hmm.

01:34:40Marc:Oh, that's nice.

01:34:41Guest:So we talked about that.

01:34:43Guest:Like, how's everything?

01:34:43Guest:Everything good?

01:34:44Guest:Like, our life is good?

01:34:44Guest:And then we would like, you know, that's it.

01:34:46Marc:Yeah.

01:34:46Guest:For however long.

01:34:48Guest:Right.

01:34:49Guest:You know, 10 years.

01:34:50Marc:Wow.

01:34:50Marc:Yeah.

01:34:51Marc:Whatever it was that we didn't see each other.

01:34:53Marc:What changes?

01:34:54Guest:I have said this story, but I'll give you the very quick view of what happened.

01:34:57Marc:I'm sorry that you've already put it.

01:34:58Guest:No, I'll tell you.

01:34:59Guest:Ready?

01:34:59Marc:You don't have to give it a quick.

01:35:00Guest:We were at a award show, and I was backstage, and he was the first award up.

01:35:05Guest:I was the second award up, and so I was having an alcoholic beverage.

01:35:08Guest:And I was looking around, and there was a really beautiful man from the back.

01:35:12Guest:And I was like, what a very nice stature of a gentleman.

01:35:15Guest:I literally was like, ooh, he's kind of hot.

01:35:16Guest:I was single.

01:35:17Guest:And then he turned around, and I was like, oh, my God, it's Kutch.

01:35:21Guest:I thought it was the weirdest thing that I was checking this guy out, and it was somebody that I'd known forever.

01:35:24Guest:I went to his housewarming party and that was it.

01:35:28Guest:And then like two weeks later after the housewarming party, he's like, you have to stop calling me coach.

01:35:32Guest:And I was like, fair, totally fair.

01:35:35Marc:But when did you start dating?

01:35:37Guest:Three months after that.

01:35:39Guest:Well, no, that's not true.

01:35:39Guest:We never dated.

01:35:40Guest:Hold on.

01:35:41Guest:Let me be clear.

01:35:42Guest:Ash and I hooked up.

01:35:43Guest:Literally, I did a movie called Friends with Benefits.

01:35:46Guest:He did a movie that was very similar, no strings attached.

01:35:49Guest:We lived our movies out where we were like, let's just hook up.

01:35:52Guest:Let's have fun.

01:35:53Guest:We're both single.

01:35:54Guest:We both trust each other.

01:35:55Guest:Everything's great.

01:35:57Guest:None of us want attention.

01:35:58Guest:We just, you know.

01:35:59Guest:Okay, great.

01:36:00Guest:So we hooked up for three months.

01:36:01Guest:And then just like our movies, one of us caught feelings and then went up to the other and was like, I have feelings for you, so I'm going to walk away because I know that this is not our agreement.

01:36:10Guest:Who caught feelings?

01:36:11Guest:Me.

01:36:11Guest:Yeah.

01:36:11Guest:I walked up to him and was like, you know what?

01:36:13Guest:I actually care about you and I don't want to mess anything up.

01:36:16Guest:So I'm just going to walk away before like it becomes too much.

01:36:19Guest:And he was like, got it.

01:36:20Guest:And then the next day he showed up to my house and he was like, move in with me.

01:36:24Guest:And I said, OK.

01:36:26Guest:And so we never dated.

01:36:28Guest:We hooked up for three months and then we moved in together.

01:36:30Guest:And that was, you know, however many years ago.

01:36:32Marc:So that was a that's sort of a real risk to to say, you know, I have feelings and I'm going to walk away.

01:36:37Guest:It was our agreement.

01:36:38Marc:Did you really?

01:36:38Marc:Oh, that was the agreement.

01:36:39Guest:Yeah.

01:36:39Marc:We're just going to fool.

01:36:41Guest:We're going to have fun.

01:36:41Guest:We're going to respect each other.

01:36:42Guest:But like it's one of those things where once one.

01:36:45Guest:But we were always super transparent with one another.

01:36:47Marc:So what's the agreement?

01:36:48Marc:We're not going to get attached.

01:36:50Guest:Once one of us starts having any sort of attachment feelings, we have to start talking about it.

01:36:54Marc:Oh, not quash it.

01:36:55Guest:Not quash it.

01:36:56Guest:You have to talk about it.

01:36:57Guest:Because that way, if the other person by any chance shares those feelings or not, so we don't become resentful towards one another.

01:37:03Guest:The second, a feeling of like, not just jealousy, because that's a horrible thing to say, but like actual care.

01:37:08Marc:Yeah.

01:37:09Marc:Well, I mean, aren't you?

01:37:10Marc:But you already had the care part.

01:37:12Guest:I didn't, I had the care part, but we were both seeing, I really hope my parents aren't listening to this, but like seeing other people, if you know what I'm saying.

01:37:20Guest:Yeah.

01:37:21Guest:And so the second that I started caring that he was seeing somebody else.

01:37:24Guest:Right.

01:37:24Guest:In that regard.

01:37:25Guest:Right.

01:37:26Guest:That I was like, oh, I, I, I all of a sudden had like this sense of like, oh, like I felt like I got punched in the gut.

01:37:32Guest:Literally overnight.

01:37:34Guest:Wow.

01:37:34Guest:He said something and I was like, oh my God.

01:37:36Guest:And like, I felt it.

01:37:37Guest:Like, I was like, oh my God, I'm.

01:37:38Guest:I'm in love with this man and I have to walk away because this is not the agreement that we had.

01:37:42Guest:And so I'm going to speak up.

01:37:43Guest:And the next day I came over and I was like, I'm just going to let you know when A, B and C happened, I know that I had all of a sudden a very different reaction to it.

01:37:51Guest:And I respect us and I respect you.

01:37:52Guest:And so I'm going to bail.

01:37:53Guest:And I left the house.

01:37:54Marc:Do you think you really could have bailed?

01:37:57Marc:I mean, I left the house.

01:37:58Marc:Right.

01:37:58Guest:I did.

01:37:59Guest:I was devastated.

01:38:02Guest:I mean, I left and I bawled my eyes out.

01:38:04Guest:And then that was it.

01:38:05Guest:And then the next day, whatever, seven, eight in the morning, he just showed up at my house.

01:38:09Guest:He showed up at my house and he was like, let's move in together.

01:38:12Guest:And I was like, you can't do this.

01:38:14Guest:It's too early for you.

01:38:15Guest:Because he was only single at that point for maybe a year, maybe a year and a half.

01:38:19Marc:And he's dating other people, too.

01:38:20Guest:Yeah.

01:38:20Guest:And I was like, you need to date other people.

01:38:21Guest:He goes, I'm not going to lose you.

01:38:23Guest:And I was like, that's it.

01:38:27Guest:And that was it.

01:38:29Guest:And now you've been together for... I don't know, six years, whatever it's been.

01:38:32Marc:Wow.

01:38:33Marc:That's a good story.

01:38:34Marc:Because I never really thought about this idea of the transparency of we're just going to have fun, we're just going to have no strings, and if it gets one of us... Because that is sort of an approach to dating, and it seems more reasonable.

01:38:46Guest:You just have to be honest.

01:38:47Guest:It truly is all about being able to be honest.

01:38:50Guest:And we both I know I fucked up in my previous relationships enough to know that, like, just fucking be honest.

01:38:55Guest:Yeah, because it's just so much less painful for your partner and for yourself.

01:39:01Guest:And I don't want to become resentful and I don't want to get into a place where I do something dumb again.

01:39:05Guest:And so I was like, fuck this shit.

01:39:06Guest:I'm just going to be completely fully transparent.

01:39:08Guest:And he was the same exact way.

01:39:10Guest:And so it was easier for me to tell him that I was having feelings than to get to a place where I was resentful of the fact that he, in my mind, wasn't.

01:39:18Marc:Right.

01:39:19Marc:Good for you.

01:39:20Marc:Yeah.

01:39:20Guest:And you've maintained that honesty?

01:39:26Guest:I have never been more... There's no version of our relationship that's not transparent.

01:39:29Guest:There's nothing that either one of us doesn't know about the other person.

01:39:32Guest:I'm telling you, it was like the person that I was...

01:39:35Guest:20 and the person that I was at 20 when he and I started dating, 27, 28, were two completely different people.

01:39:41Guest:Completely different people.

01:39:43Guest:And I'm so much more proud of the person that I am today than I've ever been of any other version of myself.

01:39:48Marc:That's good.

01:39:48Marc:And now you have kids who are growing up with those values and in that environment.

01:39:54Guest:It's good.

01:39:55Guest:Well, because I realized based on, you know, people always tell you, my parents are always like, learn from, my parents actually learn from other people's mistakes, not yours.

01:40:01Guest:And I was like, totally, but that's impossible.

01:40:03Guest:And so I, when having kids, I really wanted to lead by example.

01:40:09Guest:I know that that sounds super fucking cliche, but there's no version of myself that was going to be different than the person that I wanted my kids to be.

01:40:16Guest:And I want my kids to be brutally honest.

01:40:19Guest:Like I just do.

01:40:20Guest:Just be honest with yourself, be honest with life, be honest with other people.

01:40:23Guest:And I wasn't for so long.

01:40:24Marc:Well, they kind of are as kids anyways, right?

01:40:26Guest:Yeah.

01:40:26Guest:And I want to sustain that.

01:40:28Guest:Like, I want them to have that.

01:40:29Guest:Yes.

01:40:30Marc:Yeah.

01:40:30Guest:If you're like, how does this look?

01:40:31Guest:My dad will be like, that's beautiful.

01:40:33Guest:I don't like it.

01:40:34Guest:I never want her to feel like she can't say that.

01:40:36Guest:Yeah.

01:40:36Guest:Or like, that's yucky.

01:40:37Guest:I don't want to eat that.

01:40:38Guest:And I'm always like, cool.

01:40:39Guest:Nicer way of saying it.

01:40:41Guest:But like, I get it.

01:40:42Guest:You know?

01:40:43Marc:Yeah.

01:40:44Marc:Well, good, I'm happy that you're having this time in your life.

01:40:47Guest:Honestly, I gotta tell you, being transparent in life is a lot easier.

01:40:51Guest:My company's fully transparent.

01:40:52Guest:It is something that I never, once I became a different person, when I made the conscious effort of I fucked up enough, I made enough dumb shit mistakes in my life that I shouldn't have made, that they would have been solved by just being honest, that I became fully honest with everybody.

01:41:10Guest:So much so that I'm probably tipping the scale.

01:41:12Guest:Like the pendulum has swung in that.

01:41:14Marc:Well, you have to pick your moments.

01:41:17Marc:You don't want to be honest as a weapon or as a, you know, or hurtful.

01:41:21Guest:Yes.

01:41:22Guest:So it is swung that way.

01:41:24Guest:And now it's swinging towards like a medium of like just, you know.

01:41:28Marc:Right.

01:41:29Marc:You know, sometimes, you know, you can be honest, but you don't have to necessarily say it.

01:41:35Guest:Yes.

01:41:35Guest:I don't have to say the opposite, though.

01:41:37Guest:I don't have to lie.

01:41:38Marc:Right.

01:41:38Marc:That's right.

01:41:38Guest:That's what I'm learning.

01:41:39Guest:Yeah.

01:41:40Guest:Or started to learn when I had kids.

01:41:42Guest:Yeah.

01:41:42Guest:Just because I'm not telling.

01:41:44Guest:I don't have to lie to not.

01:41:45Guest:Right.

01:41:45Guest:Yeah.

01:41:45Marc:That's right.

01:41:46Marc:Yeah.

01:41:46Marc:Sometimes it's you wait a little bit.

01:41:48Guest:Yes.

01:41:49Guest:Yeah.

01:41:49Guest:But it's much easier to live life this way.

01:41:51Marc:I bet you it's more relaxing.

01:41:53Guest:It is.

01:41:53Guest:I don't have to remember anything.

01:41:55Marc:Right.

01:41:55Marc:You're not managing bullshit.

01:41:57Guest:No.

01:41:58Guest:Yeah.

01:41:58Guest:There's nothing you can ask me that I might have to be like, wait, what's the answer I'm supposed to give?

01:42:01Marc:Yeah.

01:42:02Guest:No.

01:42:02Marc:Good.

01:42:03Guest:It's nice.

01:42:04Marc:Well, it's nice talking to you.

01:42:05Guest:Likewise.

01:42:10Marc:That's it.

01:42:11Marc:Spy Who Dumped Me opens in theaters Friday, August 3rd.

01:42:15Marc:Hope everybody's okay.

01:42:17Marc:All right, so again, before I forget, don't you forget to check out the new WTF shirts at podswag.com slash WTF or the merch page at WTFpod.com.

01:42:29Marc:I love these new designs, folks.

01:42:31Marc:They do some really cool stuff with our original logo.

01:42:33Marc:So go get one, would you?

01:42:36Marc:I came out here all ready to play guitar.

01:42:38Marc:I was ready.

01:42:39Marc:I brought the Telecaster out, because I strung up the two Gibsons, and now I got the... I was going to, like... It needs strings, because I just was playing it in preparation.

01:42:49Marc:I popped a string, and I can't... I don't want to change it.

01:42:53Marc:Okay.

01:42:54Marc:Boomer lives!

01:42:55Marc:Boomer lives!

01:43:05you