Episode 889 - Esther Povitsky

Episode 889 • Released February 11, 2018 • Speakers detected

00:00:00Marc:all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck buddies what the fucking ears what's happening i'm mark maron this is my podcast wtf welcome to it we've done a lot of shows man we have been on for a long time

00:00:24Marc:It's been a long time, folks.

00:00:26Marc:800 and some odd shows.

00:00:28Marc:Where are we?

00:00:28Marc:I can't like sometimes I just keep moving.

00:00:32Marc:You know, I just keep going.

00:00:33Marc:I don't really pay attention to what's happened before or how I got here or what.

00:00:39Marc:You know, we're like this is the eight hundred and eighty ninth episode of this podcast is biweekly podcast.

00:00:48Marc:889 we're closing in on a thousand we're closing in on 900 i've talked to so many people that sometimes i don't know if i talk to them or not i just interviewed an old friend of mine well guy i know from the comedy store comic i can't remember i didn't realize i hadn't had him on uh he'll be on sometime in the future but you know and it's like why not

00:01:11Marc:So I guess what I'm saying is I'm going back in a little bit.

00:01:15Marc:I'm going to go make right with some folks that should have been on and that aren't.

00:01:22Marc:And these are usually comics that are out there working it.

00:01:25Marc:They're my coworkers.

00:01:26Marc:They're my comrades.

00:01:27Marc:They're part of the same tribe.

00:01:30Marc:And there's still plenty of them out there.

00:01:32Marc:And I just got to call them up.

00:01:34Marc:Like this cat, I just, I ran into him the other night.

00:01:36Marc:I did a show with him.

00:01:37Marc:He's like, you know, you haven't had me on yet.

00:01:39Marc:I'm like, holy fuck, that's true.

00:01:41Marc:So I just texted him and come over.

00:01:43Marc:There was no big booking, no big, you know, entourage, no big, you know, movie star, anything, no junket, just old school.

00:01:51Marc:Come on by on Sunday.

00:01:53Marc:Let's hang out.

00:01:54Marc:We just had a great talk.

00:01:55Marc:But even today, Esther, Esther, Esther Pavitsky, little Esther, I've known her for years.

00:02:02Marc:And it was just, you know, sometimes the time wasn't just, it just, the time wasn't right.

00:02:07Marc:I met her, geez, probably, I don't even think I'd started the podcast yet.

00:02:12Marc:I met her when I was, you know, just in the throes of being a miserable fuck, you know, at the end of my rope.

00:02:18Marc:She was a kid, it seemed like, at the comedy store, and I just remember telling her, like, yeah, what are you doing here?

00:02:23Marc:Why get out of here?

00:02:25Marc:It's going to destroy you.

00:02:28Marc:She did not take my advice, and now she's got this wonderful little show on TV.

00:02:34Marc:It's a funny show, and I'm glad we waited, actually, to talk, me and Esther.

00:02:41Marc:She's got this show, Alone Together.

00:02:43Marc:You can get it on Hulu.

00:02:44Marc:It's on Freeform, but I get it on Hulu.

00:02:46Marc:I was able to watch it.

00:02:47Marc:It was one of those things where she was coming on.

00:02:52Marc:It had been set up, and I was like, fuck, I don't even know if I can watch her show.

00:02:56Marc:And I'm like, hey, you can get it on Hulu.

00:02:58Marc:I asked her if she knew that.

00:03:00Marc:It's funny.

00:03:00Marc:Yeah, it's her and this other comic, Benji Aflalo.

00:03:03Marc:And I don't really know him, but I see him around, but I don't go back with him.

00:03:06Marc:Like, I feel like I've known Esther since she was a kid.

00:03:09Marc:Anyways, Esther's here today and we had a great talk.

00:03:14Marc:So what else?

00:03:15Marc:Like, I'm trying not to get emotional, it seems, with my big move.

00:03:19Marc:I'm just not, I'm detaching from the grief in some way because, like, my house looks totally different because I painted it and I cleaned the floors up and painted the outside.

00:03:30Marc:I have not decided really in my heart what I'm going to do with the house yet.

00:03:34Marc:I believe I'm going to sell it.

00:03:37Marc:But there's part of me that's sort of like, yeah, but maybe I should just have it around.

00:03:41Marc:Maybe I should keep, maybe I should rent it.

00:03:43Marc:Maybe I should use it as an office.

00:03:45Marc:I should probably sell it.

00:03:46Marc:Yeah.

00:03:47Marc:And some of that, see, like, because I haven't committed to that fully, I'm still excited about the new place.

00:03:52Marc:But, you know, I'm loving it there.

00:03:54Marc:But I'm not letting go.

00:03:56Marc:I'm not letting go.

00:03:58Marc:and in that that's going to happen that's going to happen soon and i'll and i'll i'll bring you along i'll bring you people along for it okay so yeah i'm going to carry you people well i'm going to i'm going to for those of you who choose to be part of it i'm going to i'm going to we'll evolve through the grief together i just wanted to read these two emails because they seem to have come to get they seem to work together

00:04:24Marc:And I don't know if it's the right thing to read them for this one guy.

00:04:29Marc:Anyways, subject line, how boomer and in parentheses almost found me love.

00:04:35Marc:Hey, Mark, I've been an avid listener since 2012.

00:04:37Marc:Thank you for making my commute not shitty on Mondays and Thursdays.

00:04:41Marc:Some of my personal favorite episodes include Dax Shepard, Romany Malco, and more recently Marilyn Manson.

00:04:46Marc:What a strange and interesting dude.

00:04:48Marc:I'm 28.

00:05:06Marc:After looking through countless girls' profiles, writing messages, and having lots of uninspired conversations, I was finding the whole experience underwhelming and was about ready to throw the towel in.

00:05:15Marc:That is until I came across Nick.

00:05:17Marc:She seemed amazing, beautiful, with a witty profile, good taste in music, and an affinity for spicy food.

00:05:23Marc:When I saw that she listened to WTF, I knew the perfect opening message to send.

00:05:28Marc:Boomer lives!

00:05:30Marc:In quotes, a few weeks go by.

00:05:32Marc:No response.

00:05:33Marc:I send a follow up message about an art performance she mentioned in her profile.

00:05:36Marc:Also, no response.

00:05:37Marc:After another couple of weeks, she finally wrote back saying, I don't know why this message got put into a weird folder.

00:05:42Marc:Hi.

00:05:43Marc:Both of these messages are awesome.

00:05:45Marc:She then went on to talk about the performance she saw in greater detail and asked me a few questions.

00:05:49Marc:I was thrilled.

00:05:49Marc:I wrote back only to never hear from her again.

00:05:52Marc:During this time, OKCupid was going through policy changes about how users are matched when girls see messages from guys, etc.

00:05:59Marc:I think this had something to do with what took her so long to come across my initial messages and like to believe that she never saw the later one.

00:06:06Marc:This girl seems like the real deal.

00:06:08Marc:If this email ever got read on your show, I know she'd be listening.

00:06:10Marc:So if you could please help me out, Nick, go back online and find Alex's profile and messages.

00:06:15Marc:He's the dude with the shaggy brown hair who drinks a lot of seltzer and doesn't watch football.

00:06:20Marc:Thanks for all you do.

00:06:21Marc:Mark Boomer lives.

00:06:22Marc:Alex, like I this is a kind of a long email.

00:06:25Marc:And, you know, maybe I don't know what happened.

00:06:27Marc:I'm not here to make matches.

00:06:29Marc:I'm not here to help people out with their dating.

00:06:32Marc:I don't usually do this.

00:06:33Marc:And maybe this woman is just sort of like decided maybe she's moved on.

00:06:37Marc:Maybe there's any number of options.

00:06:40Marc:But I just thought it was nice that people who know the show, you know, are getting together around the show.

00:06:49Marc:But, like, I'm worried about this guy.

00:06:51Marc:Like, I don't want him to tip over into, like, sort of, like, I don't want him to get obsessed.

00:06:56Marc:I don't want him to go nutty.

00:06:58Marc:You know what I mean?

00:06:58Marc:I think this was...

00:06:59Marc:There was a nice line here.

00:07:03Marc:He's just hoping for the best here.

00:07:06Marc:He's hoping for the best.

00:07:07Marc:Doesn't seem like he's losing his mind.

00:07:09Marc:If he gave me all the information, maybe it's a little desperate.

00:07:13Marc:I feel for him.

00:07:14Marc:Maybe this will work out.

00:07:16Marc:I don't know.

00:07:16Marc:I hope I'm not exacerbating a situation that just wasn't meant to be.

00:07:22Marc:But

00:07:23Marc:Couple emails after that one, I get this.

00:07:25Marc:Officiant of a wedding.

00:07:26Marc:Hi, Mark.

00:07:27Marc:I wrote and erased the first line to this email a good 10 times because I have no idea how to tell you that I'm a fan, but I was just asked to officiate a wedding of two friends of mine that are huge fans of yours.

00:07:36Marc:The reason I didn't know how to word it was because I don't want you to think I'm not a big fan, but that these two, especially the girl, are really big fans.

00:07:43Marc:I wanted to get them something great for their wedding, and I was wondering if you would send me a letter giving them advice or anything, and I will frame it and give it to them on their wedding day.

00:07:51Marc:If not, that's okay.

00:07:54Marc:Now you know two huge fans of yours are getting married to each other.

00:07:58Marc:Their names are Kate and Kyle.

00:07:59Marc:Thanks, Mark.

00:08:00Marc:Jay.

00:08:01Marc:Kate and Kyle.

00:08:03Marc:Advice for being married.

00:08:06Marc:Look, you know, I'm again, maybe this is maybe this is giving my last email guys, you know, too much hope to Alex.

00:08:14Marc:I don't know.

00:08:15Marc:But but this is, again, a unique thing.

00:08:18Marc:And I don't I don't know that that I'm the guy for marriage advice.

00:08:22Marc:I mean, I'm glad they like my show.

00:08:24Marc:But if they like my show, they also know that I have not been successful.

00:08:28Marc:In two marriages, I was engaged.

00:08:31Marc:I didn't work out.

00:08:32Marc:Most of my relationships have done nothing but harden my heart and made me cynical and defensive.

00:08:38Marc:And I just I don't know.

00:08:40Marc:I don't know.

00:08:40Marc:But the relationship I'm in now is good because, you know, we're both independent.

00:08:45Marc:We mind our own business around some things and we.

00:08:47Marc:We have mutual respect for each other.

00:08:49Marc:She does a different thing than me.

00:08:51Marc:I respect her work.

00:08:52Marc:She respects my work.

00:08:53Marc:We get along.

00:08:55Marc:She's not the usual type of person.

00:08:59Marc:Our crazies don't mesh into one big crazy.

00:09:02Marc:We are uniquely crazy.

00:09:04Marc:We're crazy in different ways that don't have the same sort of destructive effects on each other.

00:09:10Marc:But I'm scared of marriage.

00:09:14Marc:So I'm not sure this is the right advice.

00:09:16Marc:Yeah.

00:09:16Marc:I don't see any reason to be married again.

00:09:20Marc:So good luck.

00:09:24Marc:Just try to work through stuff before.

00:09:28Marc:Here's the only advice I can say.

00:09:31Marc:And I don't always heed it.

00:09:34Marc:Try to communicate and work through bullshit before it gets all consuming and is too late.

00:09:42Marc:Do not let resentments fester to their point of malignancy where you can't get back to where you were when you had the love.

00:09:52Marc:Try to communicate and if things feel wrong...

00:09:57Marc:try to talk about it before reacting to it without letting the other person in on it if you're having a problem with the person in your mind you know share it so you don't just react to it in your mind and that escalates and they have no idea what the fuck is wrong with you does that make sense

00:10:14Marc:But congratulations, Kate and Kyle, on your upcoming nuptials.

00:10:19Marc:And good luck, Alex, in tracking down the elusive Nick.

00:10:26Marc:But don't, you know, just let it be.

00:10:29Marc:If she doesn't get back to you, let it be.

00:10:31Marc:All right?

00:10:32Marc:Just don't cause trouble.

00:10:34Marc:So, Esther.

00:10:36Marc:pavitsky um is very funny and uh very uh interesting and i haven't talked to her in a long time and her new show alone together new episodes are wednesday nights at 8 30 on freeform it's already been picked up for a second season you can watch it on hulu but this is me uh talking to uh to esther and it was very nice

00:10:57Marc:Does it make you queasy, like green tea?

00:11:09Guest:No, green tea doesn't do any of the bad stuff to me.

00:11:12Marc:No, I mean, what is the other bad stuff?

00:11:16Marc:Oh, you mean the caffeine thing.

00:11:17Guest:The mania and then the crash.

00:11:18Marc:But don't you get nauseous when you drink it with nothing in your stomach?

00:11:21Guest:Well, I don't do that.

00:11:23Guest:And I usually drink it with I mean, I haven't had a coffee in so long because I'm trying to avoid this crazy high.

00:11:29Guest:Really?

00:11:30Guest:Yeah.

00:11:30Guest:But I'm like, I don't I don't even take Advil.

00:11:34Guest:I've never tried alcohol or drugs like for me.

00:11:37Guest:Caffeine is such a huge it's a huge deal for my system.

00:11:41Marc:Yeah, I stopped drinking coffee.

00:11:44Guest:I did.

00:11:45Guest:What do you do now?

00:11:46Marc:I'm drinking black tea, but it's just not the same.

00:11:48Marc:I stopped drinking coffee because I was drinking like two or three pots a day.

00:11:52Guest:And what did it do to you?

00:11:54Marc:Well, eventually you just tap out.

00:11:55Marc:You just get nauseous.

00:11:57Guest:How do you sleep?

00:11:58Marc:I don't, it's weird because my tolerance was so high, I was not having that hard a time sleeping.

00:12:03Marc:And I would drink it on the way to the store.

00:12:05Marc:I would drink like a fucking big old cup of coffee at eight o'clock on my way to the comedy store.

00:12:10Guest:Wait, you know what's crazy is like when I hear you say that, I'm like, that's so romantic to me.

00:12:15Guest:Really?

00:12:16Guest:It's like so cool and edgy.

00:12:18Guest:Like I drink black coffee at night.

00:12:20Guest:It's like, I don't need a gross meal like the rest of you.

00:12:23Guest:Yeah.

00:12:23Guest:Oh, I want to be that person.

00:12:25Marc:But then I'd eat later.

00:12:26Marc:Yeah, I mean, that's edgy.

00:12:29Marc:Boy, things have really changed.

00:12:31Marc:You're not running with a fast crowd over there.

00:12:33Guest:No, I said I've never tried alcohol or anything.

00:12:37Marc:Seriously?

00:12:38Guest:Yeah, seriously.

00:12:40Marc:All right, so... Well, no, I mean, I believe you.

00:12:45Marc:I have no reason not to believe you.

00:12:47Marc:I just, like, I don't know... When did we first meet?

00:12:53Marc:How long ago was that?

00:12:54Guest:That was in 2009 when I first, first started stand-up.

00:12:58Marc:So it was right... Really?

00:13:00Marc:It was that long ago?

00:13:01Marc:That was, like, right when I was starting this?

00:13:02Marc:So I was in a weird place?

00:13:03Guest:You hadn't started this yet.

00:13:04Guest:You were, like... In trouble.

00:13:06Guest:Yeah.

00:13:07Guest:Yeah.

00:13:08Guest:i mean i don't want to say it but yeah like you were someone that me and the other comics there really looked up to and idolized but you were also like kind of you know on your way down

00:13:23Marc:You guys are just watching me spiral?

00:13:25Guest:Yeah.

00:13:26Guest:Well, just like, I don't know.

00:13:28Guest:I think when you're at the comedy store, it's hard to look up to the, this was the culture there that I like.

00:13:34Marc:Well, let's be specific about that.

00:13:35Marc:So 2009, when I sort of like, so it was before I started this in the garage or I hadn't done any.

00:13:42Guest:You had some kind of weird online talk show, but it was not this.

00:13:46Oh.

00:13:46Marc:So it must have been early 2009.

00:13:48Marc:It was.

00:13:49Guest:You were living in New York, I think.

00:13:51Marc:Right.

00:13:51Marc:Going back and forth.

00:13:52Marc:So it was towards the end of... Right.

00:13:54Marc:We hadn't quite started it yet.

00:13:56Guest:Yeah.

00:13:56Marc:Because this started in earnest in 2009.

00:13:58Marc:Oh, so I was like... You were... Yeah.

00:14:01Marc:Just sort of like miserable and out of my mind and full of panic and darkness.

00:14:05Marc:Yeah.

00:14:05Guest:Yeah, and like I said, it was hard for the darkness of the comedy store.

00:14:11Guest:The youngins there don't worship the people on top.

00:14:14Guest:They kind of worship the gritty person, and that's who you were at that time.

00:14:20Marc:The guys that never quite did it, but were integrated into the mythology of the store.

00:14:26Guest:That's right, yeah.

00:14:27Marc:Right, because at that time, the store was being run by a new generation of maniacs.

00:14:32Guest:Yes, I would argue that no one was running it.

00:14:34Marc:Right, it was just chaos.

00:14:36Marc:It was before Peter Shore kind of cleaned things up.

00:14:40Marc:But who were the door guys?

00:14:42Marc:Ari was a door guy then?

00:14:44Guest:No, no, that was before me.

00:14:46Guest:I mean, I don't know if it's people you know, but Tony Hinchcliffe was a door guy.

00:14:52Marc:Well, you were dating him, I think, when we met.

00:14:54Guest:Yes.

00:14:55Guest:Well, we were kind of starting to have a thing.

00:14:58Guest:But you actually gave me really good advice.

00:15:00Marc:I was thinking back on it, and I feel like I misled you.

00:15:04Guest:Really?

00:15:04Marc:No, I mean, because I thought, I remember giving you a ride somewhere

00:15:10Marc:and telling you like, get out of the store.

00:15:14Guest:Yeah, you gave me good advice.

00:15:16Guest:You said, go to UCB.

00:15:17Guest:You don't belong here.

00:15:18Guest:This is a bad place.

00:15:20Guest:This is dark.

00:15:21Guest:You're not this.

00:15:22Guest:Go to UCB.

00:15:23Guest:And I knew that you were giving me good advice, and it was the right advice, and I had known that advice before, but I just didn't take it.

00:15:32Marc:I know, but that's impressive, because you hung in there somehow, and you're doing very well, and you hung in with those monsters.

00:15:39Guest:I think maybe that you didn't see the darkness in me.

00:15:42Guest:That must have been it.

00:15:43Guest:No, I don't know.

00:15:44Guest:But like I said, you did give good advice.

00:15:47Guest:And I did put up with a lot of shit that I probably shouldn't have had to put up with when I was there.

00:15:51Marc:So I gave you a good warning.

00:15:53Guest:Yeah.

00:15:54Marc:But you must have kind of known it.

00:15:56Guest:Yeah, I did.

00:15:56Guest:Of course I did.

00:15:57Guest:I mean, I only wandered into the comedy store because it was a comedy club that my dad said he went to in the 80s and that some bar owner said I could do stand up there.

00:16:05Guest:And then I just really liked it.

00:16:07Marc:Yeah, well, it's got a charm.

00:16:09Marc:But you seem to be fortunate in that whatever your disposition is, there are certain people that, I don't know, like I notice it in your act and also in your show, that you're just not going to be taken down by that bullshit.

00:16:22Guest:No.

00:16:23Marc:I don't think you have some sort of emotional insulation that enables you to seem sort of like wide-eyed and innocent and move through these hellscapes.

00:16:36Marc:But like it reminds like Sarah's a little like that Silverman in just in the sense where she was always around all of us, but it was just like she was always never going to be, you know, kind of jarred by the garbage.

00:16:48Guest:Right.

00:16:49Marc:You know what I mean?

00:16:49Marc:She rose above it sort of effortlessly.

00:16:52Guest:Yeah, no, that's true.

00:16:53Guest:I mean, you have that too, though.

00:16:55Guest:Like, you have the darkness.

00:16:57Guest:Maybe not the wide-eyed.

00:16:58Marc:No, no, I've been beaten by it a few times.

00:17:01Marc:Like, I took my licks.

00:17:04Marc:I didn't rise above anything.

00:17:06Guest:Oh, my God.

00:17:07Yeah.

00:17:07Marc:Over time, I got old and things started to happen and I felt better about myself.

00:17:13Marc:But there was no rising above.

00:17:14Marc:I was if I was there during whatever that evolution was, whatever the during the I think the the Rogan dominated years, you know, during the that was before.

00:17:24Marc:me a little before you yeah which i wasn't you know i wasn't really around for for that where you know you had these weird fights and mitzi was still conscious and you know caparulo was doing a half hour sets and there was fighting between certain factions at the store yeah that's the stuff i heard about when i got but by the time i got there rogan was banned and mitzi was still i would say in the first two years i was there she showed up three times but it wasn't wasn't good it wasn't good no yeah i mean

00:17:53Marc:She wasn't as terrifying as she once was.

00:17:55Guest:Yeah, and we'd stay there until 3 or 4 in the morning, and it was just like... Who was your crew?

00:18:00Marc:You and Tony?

00:18:01Guest:It was Dan Madonia, and Benji was there sometimes, and I would stay late with Don Barris.

00:18:08Marc:That's right.

00:18:09Marc:See, that was why I was sort of concerned.

00:18:11Marc:You were part of that whole weird late-night Don Barris, Brody Stevens parade of weirdness.

00:18:18Guest:Yeah, I don't know how that happened, but it did.

00:18:20Guest:And I remember...

00:18:21Guest:And my parents would tell their friends, oh, she's doing comedy.

00:18:25Guest:She's out till 4 a.m.

00:18:26Guest:every night.

00:18:27Guest:And that their friends would be like, your daughter's on drugs.

00:18:30Guest:And they'd have to be like, no, we know she's not.

00:18:33Guest:But no one believed us.

00:18:34Marc:But I never stay at the store that late because something happens around 11 a.m.

00:18:41Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:18:42Guest:No, now I would never.

00:18:43Guest:Now I'm like, I'm up at 830 and I'm gone and in bed by 10.

00:18:47Guest:I think that that damaged me so much.

00:18:50Guest:Like living that lifestyle my first year or two in comedy where I was out till I was at the store because I was obsessed with the store.

00:18:57Guest:I was there at nine when the show started, whenever it was.

00:18:59Guest:And then I would stay till two, three, four.

00:19:01Guest:And then I would sleep all day and then go nanny or whatever job I had at that time.

00:19:05Guest:And

00:19:07Guest:That became so depressing.

00:19:09Guest:Going to Subway at night at 4 a.m.

00:19:12Guest:just really takes a lot out of you.

00:19:14Marc:But you're the real deal.

00:19:16Marc:You loved it.

00:19:17Marc:Yeah, then I did.

00:19:19Marc:You wanted to live at the store.

00:19:20Marc:But because of that, you now kind of go up with confidence.

00:19:23Marc:You understand it.

00:19:24Marc:You're part of the place.

00:19:25Marc:I mean, it's a very specific place.

00:19:27Guest:Yeah.

00:19:27Marc:Well, let's go back.

00:19:28Marc:So where did you come from?

00:19:29Guest:Skokie, Illinois.

00:19:30Guest:Yeah.

00:19:30Marc:Skokie.

00:19:31Guest:Yeah.

00:19:32Marc:But that's like kind of dark Illinois, no?

00:19:37Marc:No.

00:19:37Marc:Why do I know that name?

00:19:38Marc:Isn't that where the Nazis marched?

00:19:39Guest:There was a Nazi march there.

00:19:40Marc:That's what it's famous for.

00:19:41Marc:But that was a long time ago.

00:19:42Guest:That was before my time.

00:19:44Guest:But yeah, it's a very diverse community.

00:19:47Guest:It's a suburb of Chicago.

00:19:48Guest:Oh, it is?

00:19:48Guest:It's close to Chicago?

00:19:49Guest:Yeah, it's very close.

00:19:50Guest:I grew up on the border of Skokie and Evanston.

00:19:54Guest:It's not quite a nice suburb, though.

00:19:56Guest:It's not a shit hole.

00:19:57Marc:It's not Highland Park?

00:19:58Guest:It's not Highland Park.

00:19:59Guest:That's right.

00:19:59Guest:Right.

00:20:00Marc:But are you Jewish?

00:20:01Guest:I'm half Jewish.

00:20:02Guest:Half Jewish?

00:20:03Guest:Yeah.

00:20:03Marc:Your dad's Jewish.

00:20:04Guest:Yeah, my dad's Jewish.

00:20:05Guest:My mom's a very quiet Finnish woman.

00:20:08Guest:Very nice.

00:20:08Guest:Was a cheerleader in high school.

00:20:10Guest:She's just so normal.

00:20:12Marc:And your dad is what?

00:20:13Marc:A bombastic Jew?

00:20:14Guest:Yes.

00:20:15Guest:Just a Jew.

00:20:16Marc:And it's really... Oh, really?

00:20:18Marc:Just a Jew?

00:20:19Marc:You know what I'm talking about.

00:20:22Guest:A Jew.

00:20:22Guest:With lots of problems and personality.

00:20:24Marc:Oh, really?

00:20:25Marc:Like, what'd he do?

00:20:26Guest:Oh, he was a compulsive gambler for a long time.

00:20:29Oh, that's great.

00:20:30Yeah.

00:20:30Guest:But we're very close now.

00:20:33Marc:Did he get recovery?

00:20:35Marc:What did he do?

00:20:35Guest:He was always in GA, but yeah, he's been clean for a long time now.

00:20:40Marc:You got brothers and sisters?

00:20:41Guest:I have a half-older sister from my mom's first marriage.

00:20:44Marc:Oh, yeah?

00:20:45Guest:And she's very normal.

00:20:47Guest:She's a single mother of two and lives in Illinois.

00:20:50Guest:She's also quiet.

00:20:52Marc:Really?

00:20:53Guest:Yeah.

00:20:53Marc:So your mom is just really a passive kind of...

00:20:57Marc:Like, are they still married?

00:20:58Guest:They are still together.

00:20:59Guest:And I always... I explain them as, like, a toxic combination and not in a bad way, just that, like, they just make no sense to be together.

00:21:06Guest:It's just weird.

00:21:08Marc:I don't know.

00:21:09Marc:Is it... Like, sometimes, like, I've noticed that there are people who...

00:21:14Marc:Kind of would rather just be with somebody who was high maintenance and full energy.

00:21:20Marc:And then they don't have to engage much.

00:21:21Marc:They just watch that person spin around and they help out a little and try to guide a little bit and hope that they don't get caught in the crossfire of whatever that person is going through.

00:21:29Marc:But it enables them to not engage emotionally.

00:21:33Guest:Oh.

00:21:33Guest:That sounds like a dream partner.

00:21:36Guest:You know what I mean, though?

00:21:36Guest:Yeah.

00:21:37Marc:Like, I just noticed it because my mother seems to find herself with men that spin around.

00:21:42Marc:And because of that, it took me a long time to realize she she does not have to expose herself emotionally that much because they're so fucking needy.

00:21:49Guest:Right.

00:21:51Guest:And I shouldn't.

00:21:52Guest:I just did a show where I talked to my parents and they talked about them.

00:21:56Guest:Yeah.

00:21:56Guest:I talked to how I was on TV.

00:21:58Guest:Yeah.

00:21:59Guest:Well, I guess the Internet.

00:22:00Guest:I was I feel like I was watched, not raised.

00:22:04Guest:And they right.

00:22:06Guest:Which is so real.

00:22:07Guest:Like they kept me safe, but they didn't like engage.

00:22:10Guest:Yeah.

00:22:10Marc:Yeah, because they're self-involved, right?

00:22:12Guest:Yeah.

00:22:12Guest:Well, my dad was, I don't know.

00:22:14Guest:But then my parents called me after that aired, and they were like, oh, we're so sorry.

00:22:18Guest:We didn't hang out with you.

00:22:19Guest:They just totally made fun of me for it.

00:22:20Guest:And I feel like maybe I upset them.

00:22:22Guest:Oh, really?

00:22:23Guest:Yeah.

00:22:24Marc:They made fun of you, though, for it?

00:22:25Marc:Because my parents at this stage, when I do stuff like that about them, they're like, my mother's like, I'm sorry.

00:22:32Marc:I really didn't know that that's what was happening.

00:22:34Guest:I can't believe they take you seriously.

00:22:35Guest:I'm very serious.

00:22:37Guest:That's cool.

00:22:37Marc:Have you ever watched my comedy?

00:22:38Marc:It's all real.

00:22:39Yeah.

00:22:41Marc:I'm not hiding behind much.

00:22:43Marc:But no, but I think that that's an interesting observation that you were watched but not raised.

00:22:50Guest:Yeah.

00:22:50Marc:Well, like, yeah, because they're worried about certain things that make them nervous.

00:22:54Marc:But this is my parents.

00:22:56Marc:Like, they were worried and panicky, but it was only how it would affect them.

00:22:59Marc:They had no ability to really nurture or guide.

00:23:02Guest:Yeah.

00:23:03Marc:So I'm just sort of left to my own devices to wander the world looking for an identity.

00:23:08Marc:Exactly.

00:23:08Guest:Yeah.

00:23:09Guest:And like watch TV and try to find attention from something.

00:23:12Marc:Watch comics.

00:23:13Guest:Yeah.

00:23:13Marc:Look at people with stronger personalities.

00:23:15Guest:Yeah.

00:23:16Marc:Kind of lock on.

00:23:17Guest:Yeah.

00:23:17Guest:That's so real.

00:23:19Guest:Yeah.

00:23:19Guest:Because I always feel like strong women have such a profound effect on me.

00:23:23Guest:And I think it's because I'm seeking that out from having like a quiet.

00:23:27Marc:Sure.

00:23:28Marc:Or just having like, you know, it's I think innately you're like they seem to be able to handle life.

00:23:33Guest:Yeah.

00:23:33Guest:Mm-hmm.

00:23:34Marc:Maybe I'll go hang around with them.

00:23:36Guest:Yeah, I would be the perfect cult victim.

00:23:40Marc:I don't know.

00:23:41Marc:Yeah, but see, that's the funny thing about you is that maybe you would, but I don't think so because there's something deeper that allows you to protect yourself from it.

00:23:51Marc:Because...

00:23:52Marc:So being that you had this attraction to the store, that is sort of culty because it's a very specific thing.

00:23:58Marc:Because when you tell people, I love this place, and they're like normies, they're like, why?

00:24:03Marc:Do you know when I was there and I'd have a woman come out and visit me and hang out for the weekend, and I was just up in that house doing drugs with a bunch of gypsies and weirdos, and I was like, isn't this great?

00:24:14Marc:And they're like, no.

00:24:15Marc:No, no one wants to live like this.

00:24:17Marc:I'm like, you don't know.

00:24:18Guest:Yeah, it is weird.

00:24:19Guest:Like, why did I like staying till 3 a.m.

00:24:22Guest:when there was three people in the audience and like doing the best?

00:24:26Guest:Yeah, I know.

00:24:26Guest:It was very magical.

00:24:28Marc:That's the best one.

00:24:29Marc:Like, it's just like and they're all sitting in different places.

00:24:31Guest:Yes, they're scattered.

00:24:33Guest:They're so scattered.

00:24:35Marc:The scattered nine.

00:24:38Marc:I don't know, because it's like it's a completely unique experience and place that nobody it's it's as far away from normal as you can get without breaking the law.

00:24:48Guest:Yeah.

00:24:50Guest:Yeah.

00:24:50Guest:And also feeling like you're doing the thing you want to do, because for me, that represented comedy.

00:24:56Guest:And it's like, yeah, this is chaotic and definitely unprofessional.

00:25:00Guest:But it was still felt like I was on the path I wanted to be on.

00:25:03Marc:Well, you obviously bought into the idea that this was the path, that there was no... See, that was something I probably didn't take into consideration when I talked to you because I didn't know you, is that you had already bought into the program at the store.

00:25:17Guest:Yeah.

00:25:18Marc:So you're in Skokie.

00:25:19Marc:But you know what's interesting to me is that you had these passive parents or parents that were, you know...

00:25:26Marc:that would give you stuff and were protected, they were providers, but not necessarily emotional guides or anything else, yet somehow or another, you ended up okay.

00:25:37Marc:I've noticed that, because you could go either way if you have that liberty, but they must have implemented enough guilt or something in you to where you didn't get all fucked up or...

00:25:46Guest:Not guilt.

00:25:47Guest:Guilt was not a part of our game.

00:25:50Guest:But I think that my family, a part of the, like, kind of what I explained earlier, like, it wasn't like they were parents.

00:25:57Guest:It was more like everybody was equal.

00:25:59Marc:That's what I say about my parents.

00:26:01Guest:Really?

00:26:02Marc:Yeah, I used to do a joke.

00:26:03Marc:Like, I don't really see them as parents.

00:26:04Marc:They're just people I grew up with.

00:26:05Guest:Yeah.

00:26:06Guest:No, it's true.

00:26:06Guest:Like, I feel like everyone in my household was an equal and had equal say and all this stuff.

00:26:11Guest:And so I think from that...

00:26:14Guest:there is still like a familial relationship, of course.

00:26:17Guest:And like, I don't know.

00:26:20Guest:I just, I felt close to them because of that.

00:26:22Guest:And I obviously had to work hard to get close to them because sometimes they didn't want to hang out with me.

00:26:28Guest:And so it was just, I don't know.

00:26:30Marc:But do you, but let me ask you this just out of my own curiosity because of my experience.

00:26:33Marc:Like I don't look at them as parents really.

00:26:35Marc:I know they're my parents, but I would never ask them for advice or like ask them to.

00:26:40Guest:But who asks their parents for advice?

00:26:41Guest:That's so weird to me.

00:26:43Marc:Normal people, some normal people respect what their parents' judgment and stuff.

00:26:48Marc:Like, I do not have that.

00:26:49Marc:You know what?

00:26:51Marc:My dad would know the best thing to do.

00:26:53Marc:It's something I would never say.

00:26:55Guest:I see them as, like, now I see them as...

00:26:59Guest:They're family, but it's also like a friendship.

00:27:02Guest:And I mean, I love being around them now because they're just so funny to me.

00:27:07Guest:But yeah, no, I wouldn't say I'd ask for advice.

00:27:09Marc:Well, how did the gambling manifest itself when you were younger?

00:27:13Guest:Just gone a lot, like gone to Las Vegas a lot.

00:27:16Guest:Oh, really?

00:27:16Guest:Yeah.

00:27:17Marc:So he wasn't working the phones, calling bookies?

00:27:19Marc:He was out in the world doing it?

00:27:20Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:27:21Marc:So he'd go on Benders to Vegas?

00:27:23Marc:Yeah.

00:27:23Guest:Yeah, but I didn't understand the concept that they were benders because he would just come home and then I'd get a bunch of toys because he'd bring stuff from the gift shop.

00:27:32Guest:So to me, it was all fun and games.

00:27:34Marc:He'd bring you a bunch of gift shop toys, but he'd have to sell the car.

00:27:38Marc:How bad did it get?

00:27:39Guest:I think that he, from what I understand, he was left money by his, because I grew up in the house.

00:27:46Guest:He grew up and his parents died before we came around.

00:27:50Guest:And from what I understand is he was kind of left some money and then that money went away.

00:27:56Marc:Oh, got it.

00:27:56Marc:Yeah, sure.

00:27:57Marc:Like he wanted to make it bigger and it got smaller.

00:27:59Guest:Maybe.

00:28:00Marc:And was your half sister growing up in the house with you all?

00:28:03Guest:She was.

00:28:04Marc:How much older is she?

00:28:05Guest:Seven years.

00:28:06Marc:Oh, so that's wild.

00:28:07Guest:Yeah, but she, so she was, you know, very cool and without being offensive, she wasn't half Jewish, so she was very pretty.

00:28:16Guest:And so she was the cool, tall, skinny, pretty, big boobed older sister who didn't want anything to do with me.

00:28:24Marc:So that's, well, that seems to be an important part of your persona.

00:28:27Marc:You should thank her for it.

00:28:29Marc:It seems to be your struggle.

00:28:31Marc:Yeah.

00:28:32Marc:Like, why didn't you get the other side of the genetic layout?

00:28:37Guest:Yeah, because the Jewish genes really dominated.

00:28:40Guest:Oh, it's not so bad.

00:28:41Guest:It's okay.

00:28:42Guest:It's not so bad.

00:28:42Guest:No, I'm very, I'm lovely.

00:28:44Marc:What is it?

00:28:44Marc:Is your dad short?

00:28:46Guest:No, he's not.

00:28:47Guest:My dad's actually really tall, but I ended up short.

00:28:51Marc:His mother must have been short.

00:28:53Guest:Yeah, I think the women.

00:28:55Marc:Because I watched some of the show.

00:29:00Marc:What is it?

00:29:01Marc:Alone Forever?

00:29:01Guest:Alone Together.

00:29:02Marc:Alone Together.

00:29:03Marc:I watched it and it was funny.

00:29:04Guest:Oh, thanks.

00:29:05Marc:Because there's a sort of detached groove there.

00:29:09Marc:But I found it kind of emotional too.

00:29:12Marc:I imagine it's intentional, the tone.

00:29:14Marc:Is it?

00:29:15Guest:I think so.

00:29:16Guest:I don't know what tone you picked up on, but it sounds like, yeah.

00:29:19Marc:Well, just that your rapport, like you're both kind of, and I don't know if it's like a millennial thing or what, that there seems to be an emotional detachment about how you engage and how you go at each other.

00:29:32Marc:Like Benji seems like everything's kind of a conversation.

00:29:37Marc:uh, in turn, in turn, it's not, um, like you always have something witty to say.

00:29:42Marc:You're always sort of cutting each other down.

00:29:44Guest:Yeah.

00:29:45Guest:I think what you mean, well, cause he says mean stuff to me and it bounces off me and like, yeah, that's real unintentional.

00:29:51Guest:Cause that's like, yeah.

00:29:53Guest:Like I said, I was kind of teased by my parents.

00:29:55Guest:And so for me, when someone is mean to me, that's loving and shows that they get me and understand me and are, you know, they know me.

00:30:03Marc:So your parents were mean to you?

00:30:04Guest:They teased me.

00:30:05Guest:This is like, it's so fucked up, but because it's kind of offensive.

00:30:10Guest:But when I was growing up, my parents, my family teased me because they thought I was gay.

00:30:14Guest:Yeah.

00:30:15Guest:And they called me Andrew Cunanan.

00:30:17Guest:And like.

00:30:19Marc:What does that name mean?

00:30:21Guest:He's the guy who killed Versace.

00:30:23Marc:Oh, yeah.

00:30:25Marc:I didn't know that.

00:30:25Guest:Yeah.

00:30:26Guest:Okay.

00:30:26Marc:Yeah.

00:30:26Guest:But so I was, they were not like, they weren't, they teased me.

00:30:31Guest:a lot your passive mother your quiet mother no my mom was just quiet my dad and my sister they would make fun of me but I don't like it's weird because back then you would tease someone for being gay and now you wouldn't I hope you wouldn't but that's kind of what there are plenty of people that still do that yeah that's true it's really horrible yeah so okay so they would tease you but you so you learned that that was a sign of affection it was affectionate and it was funny it hurt you and you laughed exactly that's not great bingo

00:31:01Guest:but it shows that they like, Oh, they know something about me.

00:31:05Guest:So they know how to make fun of me.

00:31:06Guest:So that's good.

00:31:06Guest:They know me.

00:31:07Marc:Yeah.

00:31:08Marc:I think that's true.

00:31:09Marc:I think there's other ways to get an emotional connection, but you know, I, I know that I, I have that, you know, I don't, I, I feel like I'm just trying to relate because I think we have similarities that like you learned that, that,

00:31:22Marc:Because I do that too.

00:31:23Marc:It's easier to do that than to just be, if you're that type of person, insecure.

00:31:28Marc:It's easier to get emotional reactions by being mildly hurtful than it is to be like, we're proud of you.

00:31:35Marc:We love you.

00:31:36Guest:Yeah.

00:31:36Guest:In fact, when my parents say that kind of stuff now, it's weird.

00:31:40Guest:I don't like it.

00:31:41Marc:Right.

00:31:41Marc:Yeah.

00:31:41Marc:I don't buy it.

00:31:42Guest:Yeah.

00:31:43Marc:It's like, don't give me that shit now.

00:31:45Guest:Yeah.

00:31:46Guest:Or like hugs.

00:31:47Guest:Yeah.

00:31:47Guest:Hugs feel weird.

00:31:48Guest:Yeah.

00:31:49Guest:But you must like it because when we first started this conversation, we talked about how you were like on your way down when we first met and you enjoyed that.

00:31:59Marc:No, I didn't enjoy it.

00:32:00Guest:You enjoyed when we talked about it.

00:32:02Marc:Well, that's because I didn't go.

00:32:03Marc:I'm here.

00:32:04Guest:Yeah.

00:32:05Marc:I don't know if I had followed that trajectory that, you know, this would be a peppy conversation.

00:32:10Marc:Yeah.

00:32:10Marc:yeah that's true you know like i'm glad i made it out yeah but no i like hearing about that stuff i i mean you you know i i'm always surprised when people you you know there's certain parts of my past where people are like oh you did you were like this and i'm like oh that's terrible but i do laugh at it yeah yeah yeah yeah i always think i have more impact on people than i really do because i'm always worried that you know like i did something but they're all everyone seems to like no it's just

00:32:36Marc:They are like, we knew you had problems.

00:32:39Marc:We didn't get too involved.

00:32:42Marc:We saw you, but we stayed over here.

00:32:46Marc:Okay, so the dynamic with you and Benji is sort of genuine.

00:32:50Marc:But I wasn't being critical of it.

00:32:55Marc:It's a unique dynamic because it's funny and you both understand each other, but you're both sort of completely self-involved in a way, but it's sort of sweet.

00:33:03Marc:And, you know, I got a little emotional at the end of one of them with the little kid.

00:33:07Marc:But I'm kind of emotional.

00:33:08Marc:I'm kind of menopausal or something.

00:33:10Marc:Everything's kind of moving me.

00:33:11Marc:But with the little kid and, you know, when he kicks Benji.

00:33:15Guest:Yeah.

00:33:16Marc:Yeah.

00:33:16Guest:Oh, he watched that one.

00:33:17Marc:And your little West Side Story dance.

00:33:20Marc:How many are there?

00:33:20Marc:There's 10?

00:33:21Guest:There's 10 episodes.

00:33:22Guest:Yeah.

00:33:22Marc:So, like, what is Freeform?

00:33:24Marc:Like, when I first started looking for it, I'm like, where is it?

00:33:27Guest:so it's a channel on TV it used to be ABC Family and they renamed themselves right but I just was I'm like I have Hulu like I pay for Hulu so I'm like I can watch it oh yeah it's every all their yeah our show is on Hulu right so I'm like okay I don't need to know yeah what it is I know it makes it so easy that it's on Hulu it's really great it is yeah is it on regular television

00:33:47Guest:Yeah, Freeform is regular TV.

00:33:49Guest:So it airs on Freeform every Wednesday, and then the next day the episodes go live on Hulu.

00:33:53Marc:And you got picked up.

00:33:54Guest:Yeah, we're writing the second season right now.

00:33:56Marc:So ABC Family, so they must have changed their kind of attitude.

00:34:02Guest:They sure did.

00:34:04Marc:I can't see this as being a family show.

00:34:05Guest:Well, yeah, because when we had our pilot episode, when we sold it to them, it was about an escort.

00:34:12Guest:And we were like, okay, I guess we have to change this.

00:34:14Guest:And they're like, no, that's fine.

00:34:16Guest:So we were very surprised.

00:34:18Marc:They were taking chances.

00:34:19Guest:I think we're the first Disney escort.

00:34:21Marc:Yeah.

00:34:22Marc:Do you stay an escort?

00:34:24Guest:No, no, I don't.

00:34:25Guest:It's only the first episode.

00:34:27Marc:The second episode, right?

00:34:28Marc:Or no, I guess the first one.

00:34:29Guest:Yeah.

00:34:30Marc:But it looks like you got a lot of good guest stars, people from the store, big actors, Denise Richards.

00:34:34Guest:Yeah, Chelsea Peretti, Bobby Lee, big store fixture.

00:34:38Marc:You asked me to do it, and I was like, eh.

00:34:40Guest:I know.

00:34:41Guest:Maybe season two, we'll see.

00:34:43Marc:Yeah, you still want me to do it?

00:34:44Guest:Yeah, why wouldn't I?

00:34:46Marc:Yeah.

00:34:47Marc:Yeah, it depends what you want me to do.

00:34:48Marc:What did you want me to do last time?

00:34:50Guest:Last time.

00:34:51Guest:Well, I shouldn't say because I don't want people to have that in their heads when they see.

00:34:55Marc:Oh, was it for this season?

00:34:57Marc:No, it's for last season.

00:34:58Guest:Yeah, but people are going to see that person.

00:35:00Marc:Oh, we'll do it off mic.

00:35:02Guest:Yeah.

00:35:02Marc:All right.

00:35:03Marc:So you're in Skokie.

00:35:05Marc:You're in high school.

00:35:06Marc:Do you have friends?

00:35:08Guest:Yeah.

00:35:09Marc:You're normal.

00:35:10Guest:Yeah, I had a boyfriend and friends.

00:35:11Marc:What kind of boyfriend?

00:35:12Marc:What kind of car?

00:35:13Guest:whoa what a question he had a good car yeah i don't i don't i shouldn't talk about him because i'm like i'm kind of still obsessed with him even though i've moved on and i'm in a serious relationship but he's like blocked me on all social media and like once it's like seems like he wants nothing to do with me really yeah out of nowhere

00:35:36Guest:well you know it's never out of nowhere you talked about him on a thing no i didn't but i was like texting him when i first moved out here because he broke my heart you know he cheated on me dumped me and then like fell in love with someone else and when i moved out here i kind of got the confidence because i was at the store and i was all cool you had the dark confidence yeah and so i dark magic

00:36:00Guest:I started reaching out and was like, hey, what happened?

00:36:04Guest:Blah, blah, blah.

00:36:05Guest:And he just was like, I don't want to hear from you and I don't want to talk to you.

00:36:07Guest:And then he blocked me on all the things that you can block a person.

00:36:12Marc:Wow.

00:36:13Marc:So that was years ago, though.

00:36:14Guest:It was.

00:36:15Marc:What kind of car?

00:36:18Guest:It's so specific.

00:36:19Guest:He had his grandfather's yellow Mustang.

00:36:22Marc:Really?

00:36:23Guest:Yeah.

00:36:23Marc:Like from the 60s or 70s?

00:36:24Guest:70s, I think.

00:36:26Marc:Oh, yeah?

00:36:27Marc:Like a metal one, like a good one.

00:36:29Guest:Yeah.

00:36:30Guest:Why do you ask me to plan a car?

00:36:31Guest:You must just be into cars.

00:36:32Marc:No, not really.

00:36:33Guest:Oh.

00:36:33Marc:Just curious, trying to paint a picture of high school you and your dude.

00:36:37Guest:Yeah.

00:36:38Marc:In a yellow Mustang, an old yellow Mustang, a vintage yellow Mustang.

00:36:42Guest:Yeah, I guess that was cool.

00:36:43Marc:Pretty specific, right?

00:36:44Guest:And then, but he was a year older, so then he went away, and then my senior year I was by myself, but that's when I got really close to my family, because like every Friday after school.

00:36:52Marc:Yeah, what kind of car do they have?

00:36:54Guest:I'm driving it to this day at 2001 Toyota Camry.

00:36:58Guest:It's my car right now.

00:36:59Marc:Those are great cars.

00:37:00Guest:I know.

00:37:01Marc:I have a Camry.

00:37:02Guest:I never want to get rid of it.

00:37:05Marc:So good.

00:37:05Marc:I can't picture 2001.

00:37:08Marc:I had a fucking 95 Camry back in 2004.

00:37:11Marc:And it was great because they were made by the same company as Lexus.

00:37:14Marc:So there's very little difference between the Camry and the Lexus at that time.

00:37:17Guest:Yeah, people say that I have that car for attention because it's so awful, but I like it.

00:37:21Guest:I think it's a good car.

00:37:22Marc:Were they still big then?

00:37:24Marc:Yeah, it's big.

00:37:24Marc:Because Camry's got smaller.

00:37:25Guest:Yeah, it's still bigger.

00:37:26Guest:I mean, yeah.

00:37:28Marc:Like in the 90s, the Camry's were like a luxury car almost, it felt like, the one I had.

00:37:32Marc:It was a big gold one.

00:37:34Marc:I bought it off the schizophrenic guy.

00:37:36Guest:Oh, I think I'm one generation, one body generation past that one.

00:37:40Marc:Yeah, probably.

00:37:40Guest:Yeah.

00:37:41Marc:So you still got the family car.

00:37:43Guest:Yeah.

00:37:43Marc:Why don't you buy it?

00:37:44Marc:You don't want to?

00:37:45Guest:You know what?

00:37:46Guest:I decided I was going to buy a new car last year and then I was so overwhelmed and couldn't pick out a car.

00:37:50Guest:And I'm like, my car's fine.

00:37:52Guest:Forget it.

00:37:53Marc:I get overwhelmed easily as well.

00:37:55Marc:Like the fact that I'm having this work done on the house is just testing every part of me.

00:38:01Guest:Do you live here?

00:38:02Marc:I'm not living here right now.

00:38:05Marc:But the garage is obviously still perfectly intact.

00:38:08Marc:And I don't know what I'm gonna do.

00:38:11Marc:I moved.

00:38:12Marc:I moved.

00:38:14Marc:And it's historical, I get it.

00:38:16Marc:But I don't know what I'm gonna do with this house.

00:38:18Marc:There's no big urgency or plan.

00:38:20Marc:I don't know if I'm gonna keep the garage.

00:38:22Marc:I'm really on the fence about everything.

00:38:24Marc:I'm ready to set up at the other place, but there's still part of me that's sort of like, but this is the one, this is the garage.

00:38:30Guest:Are you like a hoarder?

00:38:32Marc:What?

00:38:33Marc:No.

00:38:34Guest:Well, because that's a hoarder's mentality is I can't get rid of this.

00:38:38Guest:It has this meaning.

00:38:39Guest:And oh, I know I need it.

00:38:41Marc:Uh-huh.

00:38:42Marc:No, but I mean.

00:38:42Guest:You seem surprised by that.

00:38:44Marc:But I'm not collecting houses.

00:38:45Guest:No, no, but.

00:38:47Marc:I think what I'm experiencing is a natural, real reasonable kind of connection to a place that I've been in a long time.

00:38:54Marc:I mean, like if I couldn't throw away all of these books in boxes.

00:38:57Marc:Yeah.

00:38:57Marc:then you'd have an argument there.

00:38:59Marc:I can't wait to go through this stuff so I can just throw it away.

00:39:03Marc:I'm in a place where I can throw things away and I believe that I can.

00:39:08Guest:But people, I know there are some people that could just walk away.

00:39:12Guest:I'm like you.

00:39:12Guest:I'm very sentimental.

00:39:14Guest:I lived in the same house my whole childhood.

00:39:17Guest:I love going back to that house.

00:39:20Guest:Yeah, I don't like leaving.

00:39:22Guest:I don't like getting rid of places or things.

00:39:24Guest:But I also am the same way with things.

00:39:26Guest:That's why I asked.

00:39:27Guest:But I'm not a hoarder, but I have a hoarder's mentality where I can't let go of stuff.

00:39:31Marc:Do you have a lot of stuff?

00:39:32Guest:Not a lot.

00:39:33Marc:Not anymore or ever?

00:39:34Guest:No, not a lot, but I have things that are like the theater T-shirt I wore in high school.

00:39:40Guest:It's like, I don't need that.

00:39:42Marc:I have so many T-shirts from 20 years ago.

00:39:45Guest:Yeah, and then I think about things that I did get rid of and I'm so upset.

00:39:49Guest:Like what?

00:39:50Guest:Like a juicy couture sweatsuit that I bought in high school.

00:39:55Guest:Cause Britney Spears is wedding party wore them.

00:39:58Guest:And I like, why did I get rid of that?

00:40:00Guest:I should have had that forever.

00:40:01Guest:It's so that's to wear or just to own to both to wear as a joke and to own as a freak.

00:40:09Marc:Huh?

00:40:09Guest:Like, why do I, why am I so upset?

00:40:12Guest:Why do I, yeah.

00:40:13Guest:Why do I still think about it?

00:40:14Guest:Why am I on eBay trying to find it?

00:40:15Guest:That's pathetic.

00:40:17Marc:Why are you though?

00:40:18Marc:What did, did you figure it out?

00:40:19Marc:What do you think?

00:40:20Guest:Um, oh, I don't know.

00:40:23Marc:You don't?

00:40:24Guest:Do you know?

00:40:24Guest:Can you answer?

00:40:25Marc:I'm trying to think what that feeling is.

00:40:28Guest:Well, I just want, it was mine, and I want it, and now it's gone.

00:40:34Marc:Because I'm trying to think, I have literally got 20, 30-year-old t-shirts that have just kept moving.

00:40:42Marc:I don't wear them anymore because a lot of them are just falling apart or they're just not part of my personality anymore.

00:40:48Marc:But they represent something.

00:40:51Marc:They represent a different version of me or some part of me, part of my evolution.

00:40:56Marc:You know what I mean?

00:40:58Marc:Where would they go if I didn't have them?

00:41:02Marc:Like, I imagine someone else would wear them.

00:41:04Marc:But there are shirts that I had to wear over and over again because I had to wear them.

00:41:09Guest:Because it's all you had.

00:41:10Marc:No.

00:41:11Marc:Because, you know, they were what I was wearing.

00:41:14Marc:Like, I commit pretty heavy to pants, shoes, shirts.

00:41:19Marc:I have a lot of fucking stuff.

00:41:20Marc:But at any given time, I'm only rotating two or three things.

00:41:24Guest:I'm so curious about your old t-shirts now.

00:41:26Guest:I want them.

00:41:28Guest:They sound cool.

00:41:29Marc:Okay.

00:41:30Marc:I'll find you one.

00:41:32Marc:Do you wear t-shirts?

00:41:33Marc:You're not the same Esther that I knew.

00:41:37Guest:I so am.

00:41:38Guest:I'm wearing jeans and a flannel.

00:41:40Marc:But you look put together, tucked in.

00:41:43Marc:that's how bad I am you're talking about your old stuff and I'm like I want it I want to go through your old stuff you want to go through my old stuff here look at this this is a good example this just happens to be in here because the guy who's fixing my house I just remembered this

00:42:02Marc:you know found these in some cabinet these are original cobs comedy club t-shirts those are cool like from you know from the this is probably from the 90s and like i would wear these constantly it's not too um over the top doesn't demand too much attention yeah it's black with white lettering it's kind of unique you know it represents it's sort of like a team shirt like i'm a comic you

00:42:26Guest:Yeah, I guess it was weird to me because I can't imagine wearing a comedy store t-shirt every day.

00:42:31Guest:That would feel weird to me.

00:42:32Marc:Oh, I used to because I was a doorman.

00:42:34Guest:Right.

00:42:34Guest:We had to wear them.

00:42:35Marc:Do they still have to wear them?

00:42:37Guest:I think so.

00:42:38Marc:Oh, look, I forgot this shirt.

00:42:39Marc:This is a good shirt.

00:42:40Marc:Iggy and the Stooges shirt.

00:42:42Marc:I forgot I even had this.

00:42:45Marc:Why am I not wearing this all the time?

00:42:47Guest:I think what you have on now is better.

00:42:49Marc:Yeah, that's what happened.

00:42:50Marc:I got out of t-shirts.

00:42:51Guest:Yeah.

00:42:52Marc:I literally decided I can't wear stuff that has anything on it.

00:42:58Guest:Why?

00:42:59Guest:Because it's like juvenile?

00:43:00Marc:No, because it's got to be graphically satisfying and I have to believe in whatever I have on my shirt.

00:43:09Marc:And I think that at my age of 54, if I'm walking around with a black Iggy and the Stooges shirt, that's sort of like, there's something kind of tragic about that, especially with black jeans.

00:43:19Guest:That is so real.

00:43:21Guest:Yeah, there is something tragic about that.

00:43:24Guest:Wow, you're right.

00:43:25Guest:Like I said, I think stick with what you're doing.

00:43:28Guest:It's good.

00:43:28Marc:Yeah, there's a couple shirts that I have that I'll commit to one or two things on them, like a permanent record shirt I wear sometimes.

00:43:39Guest:I last week bought, I spent $100 on a limited edition guest jeans and a Nicole Smith t-shirt, and I'm just like, what's wrong with me?

00:43:50Marc:Well, yeah, but she's not on it.

00:43:53Guest:She's on it.

00:43:54Guest:It's a giant T-shirt with a picture of her.

00:43:56Marc:Giant?

00:43:57Guest:Yeah, it's too big.

00:43:59Marc:How much did she spend?

00:44:00Guest:$100.

00:44:01Marc:And what are you going to do with it?

00:44:02Marc:Sleep in it?

00:44:03Guest:I don't know.

00:44:03Guest:I mean, I love Anna Nicole Smith, and I saw it, and I was like, take my money.

00:44:07Guest:But now I just feel like a chump.

00:44:11Marc:What about her?

00:44:12Guest:What about her what?

00:44:13Marc:Why do you love her?

00:44:14Guest:Because she's gorgeous and like trash that made it to the top and then had a tragic end.

00:44:21Guest:It's just really fascinating.

00:44:22Guest:Yeah?

00:44:23Guest:Yeah.

00:44:24Marc:That's your jam?

00:44:25Guest:A little bit.

00:44:26Guest:Part of my jam.

00:44:28Guest:I also like Brittany Murphy.

00:44:30Guest:I mean, dead celebrities are attractive to me.

00:44:33Marc:Seriously?

00:44:34Guest:Yeah.

00:44:35Marc:Do you ever go to the cemetery?

00:44:36Guest:Yeah.

00:44:37Guest:Yeah, we have a cemetery written into one of our episodes coming up.

00:44:41Guest:But yeah, I think it comes from being a lonely child.

00:44:44Guest:Were you an only child?

00:44:45Marc:No.

00:44:46Guest:So I felt I was a lonely child.

00:44:48Marc:But I'm fascinated with certain dead celebrities.

00:44:50Guest:Well, tell me if you relate to this.

00:44:51Guest:Okay.

00:44:52Guest:So when you're like a lonely kid and you don't have family members who want to hang out with you, you're sitting at home.

00:44:59Guest:I felt drawn towards dead people because I could have ownership over them and could think about them and feel like, I don't know, I could control my relationship with them and think about them and have them in my life.

00:45:13Marc:Really?

00:45:13Guest:Is that too crazy?

00:45:15Guest:No.

00:45:16Marc:No, I'm just trying to understand the logic of it.

00:45:17Marc:So you're not saying only child, you're saying lonely child.

00:45:20Guest:Yeah.

00:45:22Marc:Yeah, I mean, I don't know what is fascinating about dead celebrities, but I used to be pretty fascinated with old black and white film stars.

00:45:30Marc:You know, most of them are dead.

00:45:31Marc:Like who?

00:45:32Marc:Well, I used to just be fascinated with the pictures of them, you know, even like Charlie Chaplin, Fatty Arbuckle, you know, like, like I had these books.

00:45:40Marc:Well, I didn't even know the movies, but there was something about Hollywood and black and white and that they were all dead and that it was so, you know, glamorous and weird, but it was still sort of sorted and fucked up.

00:45:50Guest:Yeah.

00:45:50Marc:Yeah.

00:45:51Guest:Right.

00:45:51Marc:It was like it was almost prophetic.

00:45:54Marc:That I ended up at the comedy store with that weird ass wallpaper that they had in the bathrooms in the back hallway with Eddie Cantor on it and Ben Turpin and all these weird old Laurel and Hardy.

00:46:07Marc:Remember that wallpaper?

00:46:08Guest:Of course I do.

00:46:10Marc:I think she had that shit made.

00:46:12Marc:You can't find it anymore.

00:46:13Marc:I think Eric tried to find it again.

00:46:15Marc:It's nowhere to be found.

00:46:16Guest:Is it not there at all anymore?

00:46:17Marc:No, it's gone.

00:46:18Marc:Those bathrooms are gone.

00:46:20Marc:Like those two back bathrooms in the hallway, gone.

00:46:24Marc:And all that wallpaper in the green room upstairs, the bamboo.

00:46:27Guest:Oh, like the jungle?

00:46:28Guest:Yeah, it's gone.

00:46:29Guest:I know, that's sad.

00:46:30Guest:Man, you know, that's what happened in the last three or four years, which is a good thing because the store is thriving and there's audiences there, which is not something I'm used to.

00:46:39Guest:But like...

00:46:40Guest:Doors that were always open started to be locked.

00:46:43Marc:Yeah, because freaks got in there.

00:46:45Marc:They started letting all this riffraff in with the produce shows upstairs, I guess.

00:46:49Guest:Yeah.

00:46:50Marc:And people were fucking things up because comics are animals.

00:46:54Guest:Yeah, but that was kind of the fun of it.

00:46:56Marc:The best.

00:46:57Guest:Yeah.

00:46:57Marc:It was the best.

00:46:58Marc:When you could go up into those hallways and you'd get up to the locked door and be like, what's in there?

00:47:03Guest:Yeah.

00:47:03Guest:The offices.

00:47:04Marc:Or you're like, Mitzi's office.

00:47:06Guest:Mitzi's office.

00:47:06Guest:Oh, my God.

00:47:07Guest:I made it in there once.

00:47:09Marc:Oh, now it's so sad.

00:47:10Marc:It's just boxes.

00:47:11Marc:I don't even know if they've cleaned it out yet.

00:47:13Guest:But it was like being a kid and going to somebody's house and their parents were gone and you could just do whatever you wanted.

00:47:19Marc:Oh, yeah.

00:47:20Marc:So, okay.

00:47:20Marc:So you get out of high school.

00:47:22Marc:Did you go to college?

00:47:23Guest:I did.

00:47:23Guest:I went to the University of Illinois in Champaign for two and a half years and then I dropped out and moved.

00:47:27Guest:That's when I moved here.

00:47:29Marc:Was that dramatic?

00:47:31Guest:I did not like college.

00:47:34Guest:What happened?

00:47:35Marc:Why went wrong?

00:47:36Guest:A lot.

00:47:36Guest:I just was at the wrong school.

00:47:38Guest:I couldn't quite find a major.

00:47:40Guest:I always thought I was going to be a dancer.

00:47:42Guest:I started out as a dance major.

00:47:44Guest:Really?

00:47:44Guest:Yeah.

00:47:45Yeah.

00:47:45Marc:Do you dance?

00:47:46Guest:Yeah, I did.

00:47:47Marc:I saw a little with the West Side Story.

00:47:49Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:47:50Guest:Now I just try to pathetically integrate it into the show.

00:47:54Guest:And I just couldn't fit in.

00:47:56Guest:I did not do the sorority thing.

00:47:59Guest:I mean, that's a big 10 school.

00:48:00Guest:Everybody's into the sports and the sororities and fraternities and the partying and the drinking.

00:48:05Guest:I just was so unhappy there.

00:48:06Guest:And it made it even harder that everyone around me was so happy and enjoying it so much.

00:48:12Guest:And so I just eventually was like, I have to quit.

00:48:14Marc:But you weren't depressed.

00:48:15Marc:You were just reasonably unhappy.

00:48:17Guest:I don't know.

00:48:18Guest:I'm not sure.

00:48:20Marc:Did you get lumpy and just never get out of bed?

00:48:23Guest:I gained a lot of weight.

00:48:24Marc:Really?

00:48:25Guest:Yeah.

00:48:25Guest:I gained an unrecognizable Esther amount of weight.

00:48:29Guest:Really?

00:48:30Guest:Yeah.

00:48:31Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:48:32Guest:I love eating.

00:48:34Guest:Because I don't do anything else.

00:48:35Guest:Food is my fun zone, if you will.

00:48:40Marc:So what would you do?

00:48:41Marc:You'd be sad just sitting in your room, your dorm room, eating what?

00:48:44Guest:That's such an intimate question.

00:48:47Guest:So many things.

00:48:48Guest:I don't know, Pop-Tarts, Cold Stone, a lot of desserts.

00:48:52Marc:Oh, Cold Stone.

00:48:53Marc:I don't love Cold Stone.

00:48:54Guest:I don't love it now, but it was right around the corner from where I lived.

00:48:56Marc:Yeah, because the ice cream itself, I don't think has much flavor.

00:48:59Guest:Yeah.

00:48:59Marc:If you don't mix in.

00:49:00Marc:And I kind of like straight ice cream sometimes.

00:49:03Guest:I like one mix in if we're talking Cold Stone.

00:49:06Guest:A brownie.

00:49:07Marc:Oh, that's pretty good.

00:49:08Marc:Yeah.

00:49:08Guest:You can't go wrong with like a sweet cream and a brownie.

00:49:11Marc:That's right.

00:49:11Marc:It is just basically sweet cream ice cream.

00:49:13Guest:Yeah.

00:49:14Marc:Like I like a peanut butter cup mix in myself.

00:49:17Guest:What is your plain ice cream that you like that doesn't have a mix in?

00:49:21Marc:You know, I grew to like vanilla.

00:49:23Guest:I love vanilla.

00:49:24Guest:Yeah.

00:49:25Guest:That's always, well, cookies and cream would, or cookie dough would go above vanilla now, but vanilla as a base is everything.

00:49:33Guest:I don't like the fancy colored and

00:49:35Marc:No, no, no, no, no.

00:49:37Marc:You got to work with a vanilla base or a sweet cream base.

00:49:40Marc:I grew up, when I was younger, I was sort of chocolate driven.

00:49:43Marc:But then as I got older, I got more into vanilla.

00:49:47Marc:I like the mint cookie.

00:49:49Marc:That was pretty good.

00:49:51Marc:Like from, was it Ben and Jerry did a mint cookie?

00:49:53Guest:Oh my God, yeah.

00:49:54Guest:Is it, yeah, it's a mint, I don't, is that the name of it?

00:49:57Guest:I don't remember.

00:49:58Guest:But it has, yeah.

00:49:58Guest:I know exactly what you're talking about.

00:50:00Marc:Mint ice cream with the cookies.

00:50:01Guest:Yeah.

00:50:01Marc:And that's all that's in it.

00:50:03Marc:That's pretty great when he would find a big piece of cookie.

00:50:06Guest:I know, and just you're digging through looking for it.

00:50:09Marc:Turning it around as it melts, you kind of turn the big ball of it over to find the cookie.

00:50:16Guest:It's so like, I'm almost uncomfortable talking about this because I just feel disturbing.

00:50:22Marc:No, I'm very compulsive food, but it's very hard for me to manage.

00:50:26Marc:But thank God, my cholesterol got a little out of hand, so it becomes about life or death, and then you're sort of like, all right, no more.

00:50:35Marc:I can't pint out.

00:50:37Guest:Well, do you ever buy the pints that are like the cheating pints where it's only 360 calories for one halo top?

00:50:45Guest:It's not good.

00:50:46Marc:Yeah, I mean, once or twice.

00:50:48Marc:That came later in the game for me.

00:50:50Marc:You know, like I would like to sit down and do...

00:50:55Marc:I've gone through different Ben & Jerry's flavors.

00:50:57Marc:I don't like Haagen-Dazs because it's not good on my... It's too rich.

00:51:01Guest:I don't like it.

00:51:02Guest:I don't like it.

00:51:02Guest:They just don't have fun flavors like the way Ben & Jerry's does.

00:51:05Marc:Right, but it's almost too rich.

00:51:07Marc:It's almost hard to do a whole pint of Haagen-Dazs.

00:51:10Marc:But for some reason, I can do a whole pint of Ben & Jerry's no problem.

00:51:15Guest:I haven't in a while, thank God.

00:51:17Guest:I'm clean.

00:51:17Guest:But I have done, I've done like one and a half.

00:51:21Marc:Yeah, me too.

00:51:21Guest:And then when you look at the ingredients and it's just so, it's like all just disturbing.

00:51:26Guest:Egg yolks.

00:51:27Marc:Well, yeah, but that's what makes it good.

00:51:29Marc:I know.

00:51:29Marc:But like I used to get a pint of vanilla and then a fancy flavor and so cut it with the vanilla.

00:51:36Guest:Wow.

00:51:36Marc:I used to do the whole bit about that.

00:51:38Marc:You got to get the cut.

00:51:39Guest:I remember one night one of my friends came over with two pints and I acted as though both were for me.

00:51:46Marc:But I used to do the thing where I'd play this game with myself.

00:51:49Marc:I'm just going to eat a little bit and then you put it back.

00:51:51Guest:Yeah.

00:51:52Marc:What other stuff though?

00:51:53Marc:What did...

00:51:54Marc:Um, I could see pop tarts, but like it was not like I wouldn't think to do it.

00:52:00Marc:I would I'd be like, I'm not I can't do pop tarts.

00:52:02Guest:Yeah, that was like, obviously freshman year of college me.

00:52:05Guest:I wouldn't do that in this in the last decade.

00:52:09Guest:Right.

00:52:09Guest:I guess that was in the same decade, but I know it wasn't.

00:52:11Marc:I like almond cake, olive oil cake, ricotta cheesecake.

00:52:18Guest:No, that's almost more mature.

00:52:19Marc:No, I know, but I can't get that stuff.

00:52:21Marc:I mean, I'm not getting it, but since I don't eat a lot of desserts now, if it's a fancy dessert, I'll do that shit.

00:52:28Guest:My favorite dessert flavor profile is s'mores, so anything that has those three tastes I go for.

00:52:35Marc:Marshmallow, graham cracker, chocolate.

00:52:37Guest:And chocolate, yeah.

00:52:39Marc:Didn't they make a flavor?

00:52:41Marc:Ben and Jerry's flavor?

00:52:42Marc:S'mores.

00:52:43Guest:I think they did.

00:52:43Guest:It might have been a chocolate base, which I'm not, I can't do.

00:52:48Marc:What would you prefer?

00:52:48Marc:Marshmallow base?

00:52:50Marc:What base would you use?

00:52:51Guest:Vanilla, sweet green.

00:52:52Guest:Vanilla with that stuff.

00:52:53Guest:Yeah.

00:52:54Marc:Right.

00:52:54Yeah.

00:52:54Guest:Yeah, I mean, Pop-Tarts, yeah, I wouldn't do that nowadays.

00:52:58Guest:But like in college, I would eat a box of Pop-Tarts and take a Benadryl.

00:53:03Guest:Like that's bad.

00:53:04Marc:To go to sleep?

00:53:05Guest:Yeah.

00:53:07Guest:That's weird.

00:53:07Guest:That's why I'm not there anymore.

00:53:11Marc:You're just kind of circling drugs.

00:53:14Marc:Yeah.

00:53:15Marc:You're like, you know, how can I do this without doing drugs?

00:53:17Guest:Exactly.

00:53:18Guest:Yeah.

00:53:19Guest:It's like Catholic girls who don't go all the way, but they do the other things because I always.

00:53:23Marc:So you were like, some Catholic girls will do anal sex.

00:53:28Guest:Yeah.

00:53:28Guest:That's what I was doing.

00:53:30Guest:I was eating Pop-Tarts and Benadryl.

00:53:32Marc:Not doing cocaine or speed.

00:53:33Guest:Yeah.

00:53:34Guest:No, it's interesting that you get it because I feel like people don't understand.

00:53:38Guest:They're like, you just ate everybody.

00:53:39Guest:Like this was dark, abusive behavior I was engaging in.

00:53:44Guest:Yeah.

00:53:45Guest:And I think it's because I didn't want to drink alcohol for a lot of reasons.

00:53:48Guest:But one of them was I always knew and my the way I treated food and desserts, like I can't take it to the next level of something even more fun.

00:53:57Marc:Yeah.

00:53:57Guest:I'll be.

00:53:58Marc:That would be all the bad things.

00:54:00Marc:Yeah, exactly.

00:54:01Marc:You knew you had the possibility, though.

00:54:04Marc:Yeah.

00:54:05Marc:Yeah, I definitely understand that.

00:54:07Marc:Like, I think about it now.

00:54:08Marc:What was I just thinking?

00:54:10Marc:Just about that.

00:54:11Marc:Like, because I don't know how.

00:54:13Marc:Like, I have to stop and look at how fast I'm eating something sometimes.

00:54:17Marc:Like, I will just shovel shit.

00:54:19Guest:Oh, my God.

00:54:20Marc:Like, just shovel.

00:54:21Marc:Like...

00:54:21Guest:Wait, I was in New York doing press for the show and I had finished like a big, like a thing that I was happy to have had done.

00:54:30Guest:And I went to my hotel room and I room serviced a pizza, a pasta, a dessert, a bunch of stuff.

00:54:37Marc:Did you have a per diem?

00:54:38Marc:Yeah.

00:54:39Marc:Oh God.

00:54:40Guest:And I, I'm not joking you.

00:54:42Guest:I was drinking the pizza.

00:54:44Guest:I was eating it so fast.

00:54:45Guest:I'm like, I'm drinking this.

00:54:46Guest:There's no other way to explain it.

00:54:48Guest:And it fucked my stomach was so bad for like a week after it was, it was a bad, but it was, that's all I wanted to do after free food to like buffets and shit.

00:54:57Marc:I got a real problem with that.

00:54:58Guest:Oh, I have no buffet.

00:55:00Guest:Who are buffets for?

00:55:01Guest:I don't know.

00:55:01Guest:It's for people to really hurt themselves or what someone who's going to go in a manner of way.

00:55:07Marc:How do you handle craft services?

00:55:09Marc:Like, I'm so happy I'm done shooting glow because I couldn't take it anymore.

00:55:13Marc:And then I would think like, no one's going to eat this.

00:55:16Marc:How are there still stuff here?

00:55:17Marc:And then like, they had donuts.

00:55:20Guest:Yeah.

00:55:20Guest:No, I know there's donuts every morning at the shows I work on.

00:55:23Guest:I it's you have to be black and white for me.

00:55:26Guest:It's like I just don't touch the table and I bring my own thing and I go do my own thing because once I have a bite of something, my mind is like, oh, my God, what's next?

00:55:36Guest:Blah, blah, blah.

00:55:37Marc:Oh, yeah.

00:55:37Marc:Or half a donut.

00:55:38Guest:Half a donut is so off the limits.

00:55:40Guest:Like that's insane to me.

00:55:42Guest:If you eat half a donut at work, that's crazy.

00:55:45Yeah.

00:55:45Guest:Well, that's like, yeah, the equivalent of a bump of Coke or whatever.

00:55:49Guest:I don't know.

00:55:49Marc:Yeah, just not enough.

00:55:50Marc:And just to keep circling, hoping that the other half got left and went away.

00:55:58Guest:Yeah, you'll be thinking about it and feeling yucky.

00:56:01Marc:All right, so you leave college after two years?

00:56:03Guest:Two and a half years.

00:56:04Guest:Yeah.

00:56:04Guest:Halfway through my junior year.

00:56:05Marc:And you just decided to go to California?

00:56:07Guest:Yeah.

00:56:07Marc:That's fucking crazy.

00:56:08Guest:What year was that?

00:56:09Guest:That was 2009.

00:56:10Marc:So like I just met you when you just got there, give or take a half a year?

00:56:14Guest:Like give or take a month.

00:56:16Marc:Really?

00:56:16Guest:Yeah.

00:56:18Guest:Huh.

00:56:18Guest:Yeah.

00:56:18Guest:I moved in April and I went the next week I was at the comedy store and I was there full time.

00:56:24Marc:But how did you end up, how did that all happen?

00:56:26Marc:Like what was, so you leave college and you're like, I'm going to the comedy store?

00:56:30Guest:No, so I leave college and I'm out with, like the first week I was here, I was out at a bar, Luna Park bar, which I don't think is there anymore.

00:56:39Guest:It was like La Bray and Wilshire where I was living.

00:56:41Guest:And I was with a friend of mine.

00:56:44Guest:I had one friend out here and we were just kind of laughing, having fun.

00:56:48Guest:And I don't even remember what it was, but I was making fun of him.

00:56:51Guest:And the bar owner was like, you are so funny, which no one has said that to me since this, but you're so funny.

00:56:57Guest:You should do standup.

00:56:58Guest:I'm like, wait, yeah, I, I tried to stand up in college.

00:57:01Guest:Like, yeah, I should.

00:57:02Guest:That's what I want to do.

00:57:03Guest:And I'm like, but I don't know how, where?

00:57:05Guest:And she's like the comedy store.

00:57:06Guest:And then that was it.

00:57:08Guest:Wow.

00:57:08Guest:Just like call the comedy store, drop off a resume.

00:57:11Guest:How do I get a job here?

00:57:12Guest:I remember being on the front patio and I'm like, who do I talk to about getting a job here?

00:57:16Guest:I can't get in touch with anyone.

00:57:17Guest:Like no one's responding to me.

00:57:19Guest:And then someone goes, well, Pauly Shore owns it.

00:57:21Guest:And I'm like, okay, who's that?

00:57:22Guest:And he's like, they're like, because I didn't know who he was.

00:57:24Guest:They're like, oh, that's him over there.

00:57:25Guest:And so I walk up to him and I'm like...

00:57:27Guest:hi, I'm trying to get a job as a waitress.

00:57:30Guest:And he grabs my arm and he's like, look at you, you're like a little doll.

00:57:34Guest:And he walks me over to Tommy and he's just like, look at this little doll.

00:57:38Guest:And then he walks away and then that was it.

00:57:41Guest:I never got hired, but I think Tommy says that that was Polly through Mitzi showing him that we should pay attention to this person.

00:57:52Marc:Oh, really?

00:57:52Guest:Yeah.

00:57:53Marc:So Tommy tripped out on you?

00:57:54Guest:Yeah.

00:57:55Guest:Oh, wow.

00:57:55Guest:Which is very strange.

00:57:56Marc:That's good, man.

00:57:57Marc:That's a nice, mystical, very connected comedy store experience.

00:58:03Guest:Yeah.

00:58:06Guest:They didn't hire women to do anything other than waitress at that time, and I wasn't qualified enough to be a waitress.

00:58:11Marc:But you knew you were home?

00:58:13Guest:Yeah, I was just a hanger-on-er.

00:58:15Marc:And you would just show up?

00:58:17Guest:Yeah.

00:58:18Guest:I mean, I would do open mics every day.

00:58:20Marc:You didn't open mic in college yet?

00:58:21Guest:I did two open mics in college, yeah.

00:58:25Guest:But then when I got to LA, I would do the store, obviously, Sunday, Monday.

00:58:28Guest:It used to be Sunday and Monday.

00:58:30Guest:And then I would do open mics wherever I could go.

00:58:33Guest:And then at the end of my open mics, I would go to the store every night and sit in the back in the bucket seats and watch the show and then talk to people.

00:58:41Guest:Yeah.

00:58:42Marc:You're like a hardcore store.

00:58:45Guest:I know.

00:58:45Marc:Hardcore store person.

00:58:47Guest:Isn't that like gross?

00:58:49Marc:No, because it's not going to always be.

00:58:51Marc:They're not going to be anymore.

00:58:53Marc:It's not always going to be this way.

00:58:55Marc:It's over in a way.

00:58:56Guest:It is.

00:58:56Guest:I agree because it's.

00:58:58Guest:The doors are locked, you know, but yeah, that also when I moved to LA, there wasn't, you couldn't develop anywhere.

00:59:04Guest:No one was developing young comedians.

00:59:06Guest:It wasn't happening at the improv or the factory or anywhere.

00:59:09Marc:No one cared.

00:59:10Marc:They were just sort of doing like, you know, be doing produce shows.

00:59:12Guest:Yeah.

00:59:12Guest:But the store was still kind of doing that.

00:59:15Guest:But mind you, it wasn't cool to be at a comedy club and it's, I don't know if it is now, but it kind of is now.

00:59:21Guest:Yeah, that's a nice turn.

00:59:22Guest:Because then you wanted to be on the east side.

00:59:25Guest:Like you said, do UCB.

00:59:26Guest:You wanted to be at the cool.

00:59:27Marc:It's so funny because I told you that.

00:59:29Marc:And I was like, I'm a historic person through my soul.

00:59:34Marc:And I was trying at that time.

00:59:37Marc:I was just doing those other rooms to make sure that I was relevant in that world.

00:59:42Marc:And now I don't.

00:59:45Marc:I just thought that was what needed to be done at that time.

00:59:48Marc:But I was always a club comic.

00:59:49Marc:So now, like, I don't do any of those rooms.

00:59:52Marc:I only do the store.

00:59:53Guest:I kind of am there, too.

00:59:55Guest:I only do the store.

00:59:56Marc:You know, I think that my advice to you was sort of like I it wasn't that I misread you.

01:00:01Marc:It's just sort of like I had been eaten up by the store.

01:00:04Marc:What's I just was trying to because the place eats people.

01:00:07Guest:I cannot tell you how much your advice made perfect sense.

01:00:11Guest:It was the perfect right advice.

01:00:13Marc:But you found your way.

01:00:14Guest:I did.

01:00:15Guest:But still, when you just are looking at the situation and you see a 21-year-old girl who's just smiling, send her away from the store.

01:00:24Guest:If I saw that, I would give the same advice to this day.

01:00:27Guest:I would say, get out of here.

01:00:29Guest:Go to UCB.

01:00:29Guest:I mean...

01:00:30Marc:But now, like, I don't even know what's going on at UCB.

01:00:32Marc:And like, that's a whole other world.

01:00:34Marc:The thing is, is it's like, you know, I still think in some weird way that, you know, to be, you know, like a stand up, like to really do it, you know, the stores where you do it.

01:00:45Guest:Yeah, but also that's such a hard system to get into, but yeah.

01:00:50Marc:Yeah.

01:00:50Guest:Now, yeah, I love, well, that's, like we said, it's very good now.

01:00:54Guest:There's crowds.

01:00:55Marc:So, all right, so you come out here and now you're hanging around the store with the freaks.

01:00:59Marc:But that was the charm of that place.

01:01:01Marc:It was always sort of like, it always attracted people.

01:01:04Marc:Just broken people of all different kinds.

01:01:08Marc:Some criminal, some just weird, but it's sort of back.

01:01:14Marc:There's sort of an electricity there, but they don't let a lot of freaks hang out too much, but there's still a lot of weirdness.

01:01:20Guest:You think?

01:01:21Guest:I'm not there as much, so I don't know.

01:01:23Marc:When I work, if I stay around, just like when you get that many people hovering in this sort of mythology of the place, and I started talking about it constantly, and a lot of us started talking about it in a very proactive way, and it's just all of a sudden people are like, it's like the real deal.

01:01:38Guest:That's crazy.

01:01:39Guest:Because that's how I felt when I was there.

01:01:42Guest:This is the real deal.

01:01:43Guest:But the outside world was like, no.

01:01:46Guest:This is nothing.

01:01:47Marc:No, it's a haunted house.

01:01:48Guest:You're performing for Australian tourists who are jet lagged, who don't care.

01:01:52Guest:And otherwise, there's nobody there.

01:01:55Guest:It was just so awful when it got there.

01:01:57Marc:The industry turned on it.

01:01:58Guest:Yeah.

01:01:59Guest:Why?

01:02:00Marc:Because it got weird and gross.

01:02:02Guest:Right.

01:02:02Guest:Yeah.

01:02:03Guest:No one from the industry wanted to be there.

01:02:05Guest:It was awful.

01:02:05Marc:Never.

01:02:06Marc:Never.

01:02:07Guest:Yeah, I remember hearing that.

01:02:08Guest:It's like, if you need to be seen by someone, you do it at the improv.

01:02:11Marc:But that was the great thing is that when the lunatics run the asylum, you could work without being seen.

01:02:16Marc:You needed a place to work.

01:02:18Guest:Yeah.

01:02:19Marc:You know, when I got there in the 2000s, whenever I came, it was pretty beat up.

01:02:25Marc:It was just starting to turn, but you could still do your shit anonymously.

01:02:28Marc:Yeah.

01:02:29Guest:The craziest thing, too, is that the thing that's written below the cover booth, like, just be yourself.

01:02:35Marc:In God we trust.

01:02:37Guest:Like, that is such a great, I don't know, guidance.

01:02:42Marc:I never even noticed that.

01:02:44Guest:Yeah, I don't know the exact quote, but it's something about, like, don't try to be funny, just be yourself.

01:02:48Guest:Really?

01:02:49Guest:And that really led me to, yeah.

01:02:51Marc:It's right under the OR cover booth?

01:02:52Guest:Yeah.

01:02:53Guest:Maybe it's gone now, but it was there for many years.

01:02:56Marc:Wow.

01:02:56Marc:I never noticed it.

01:02:58Marc:I wonder if it's there.

01:02:59Marc:I hope it's there.

01:03:00Marc:I hope it's there now.

01:03:02Marc:You were reading all the signs and symbols.

01:03:04Marc:There was part of me that had to compartmentalize that stuff because when I was at the store and I was out of my mind on Coke and I was sort of mentally unstable, it really broke into quite a large system of signs and meanings.

01:03:22Marc:I was out there.

01:03:24Marc:So being at the store was like the center of the universe and there was a constant battle between good and evil going on there in my mind.

01:03:32Marc:So it was like the imprinting of that place from a cocaine psychotic mind.

01:03:40Marc:It took so long to shake it.

01:03:43Marc:It took so long for me to be able to go to the store and not feel the thing.

01:03:48Marc:Like the energy's still here kind of shit.

01:03:50Marc:So I kind of got rid of that

01:03:53Marc:And then I kind of appreciate it on a nuts and bolts level.

01:03:55Marc:But, you know, that energy, you know, goes all the way back to, you know, the zeros.

01:04:01Marc:And like, so you can play that game.

01:04:04Marc:Right.

01:04:04Guest:The what I'm thinking about.

01:04:06Marc:Yeah.

01:04:06Marc:The force.

01:04:07Marc:Yeah.

01:04:07Marc:Whatever it is.

01:04:08Marc:You know, Hollywood, the force, the comedy story.

01:04:11Marc:Like, you know, what happened here?

01:04:12Marc:Well, you know, who is Mitzi?

01:04:14Marc:Yeah.

01:04:14Guest:I haven't heard zeros thrown around in a while.

01:04:17Guest:That does bring me back to the stories about the illegal abortions performed below the main room.

01:04:24Marc:Oh, yeah.

01:04:24Marc:The ghosts.

01:04:25Guest:Yeah.

01:04:26Marc:Yeah.

01:04:27Marc:Now there's a podcast studio.

01:04:29Guest:Oh, that's so crazy.

01:04:30Marc:Downstairs in the basement.

01:04:32Marc:I don't know what's under the main room.

01:04:34Guest:Yeah, I never had a ghost experience there, I don't think.

01:04:37Marc:No, I didn't either.

01:04:38Marc:But I have to be careful not to drift.

01:04:41Marc:There was a lot of mystics around earlier on from after the 70s.

01:04:46Marc:After Libetkin jumped off the fucking building, the shit just broke open and it became like this kind of drain for mysticism and weirdness revolving around that place.

01:04:59Guest:Yeah, there's something about that I'm very drawn to.

01:05:02Guest:Oh, yeah.

01:05:03Guest:It's so exciting.

01:05:05Marc:Right, there's that, and now it's just sort of like the authenticity of the place, just on a surface level, is very compelling.

01:05:12Marc:It's cool to sit in those rooms because they are relatively unchanged.

01:05:16Guest:Yeah.

01:05:17Guest:What else is the same as it was?

01:05:19Guest:Nothing.

01:05:19Guest:Yeah.

01:05:19Marc:That's what I mean, is that it's a real deal place and real deal comics work there.

01:05:23Marc:And a lot of guys who haven't worked there in forever and women come back.

01:05:27Marc:You know, they're back.

01:05:28Marc:You know, they're kind of like, you know, they ran away from that place.

01:05:32Marc:And now they're kind of back.

01:05:33Guest:Man, that makes me scared.

01:05:34Guest:Because there are always a few people talking about how like, oh, this is going to get sold and become a parking lot.

01:05:39Marc:That's not happening.

01:05:40Guest:Yeah.

01:05:41Marc:Not anytime soon.

01:05:42Marc:Okay, that's good.

01:05:42Marc:I mean, that was the fear.

01:05:43Marc:I don't think that's happening.

01:05:45Marc:I don't want to get into Shore family business.

01:05:47Guest:Right.

01:05:48Guest:You probably know much more than I do.

01:05:50Marc:I don't know.

01:05:50Marc:I don't want to get in the middle of that shit.

01:05:53Marc:So, all right.

01:05:53Marc:So, did you go to Polly's birthday last night?

01:05:57Guest:No.

01:05:57Guest:How was it?

01:05:57Guest:Did you go?

01:05:58Marc:Well, I was doing spots.

01:05:59Marc:I kind of dropped by.

01:06:00Marc:It was all right.

01:06:00Marc:There's a lot of old timers there.

01:06:02Guest:That that's like the kind of thing that I would stay away from because I still feel like it's a toxic relationship with the store and there's certain people I don't want to go back and be around and be reminded how I feel around them and the people that would show up to that.

01:06:20Guest:I'm saying like you just it's it's.

01:06:23Guest:You just don't know what you're getting.

01:06:25Guest:And so for me right now, I love this store, but I have a very adult relationship with it.

01:06:30Guest:I show up for my set.

01:06:32Guest:And if there's a few friends there, I hang, but I leave.

01:06:35Guest:Because I don't, like you said, it's like you go there and you feel all the things that you once felt.

01:06:39Guest:And I'm like, I don't want to feel those things.

01:06:41Guest:I want to just.

01:06:42Marc:Yeah, I used to say like going back there to work was like, you know, going to visit the place, the person that molested me.

01:06:50Guest:Yeah.

01:06:52Yeah.

01:06:52Marc:I don't remember how I put it.

01:06:53Marc:I put it better, but it seems like over the years, like, you know, you've sort of, you know, gotten acting gigs and you've been able to do your standup on TV shows and you've worked a lot.

01:07:05Guest:Yeah.

01:07:06Guest:I've been trying.

01:07:07Guest:I'm,

01:07:08Marc:You got a recurring on the, which show?

01:07:10Guest:Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

01:07:11Marc:That's big?

01:07:12Guest:Yeah, I love that show.

01:07:13Guest:Yeah, it's cool.

01:07:14Marc:And you got to do stand-up on, did you do stand-up on Seth's show?

01:07:20Guest:No, I just went on Seth's to promote Alone Together.

01:07:22Marc:So you did panel?

01:07:23Guest:Yeah.

01:07:24Marc:Did bits?

01:07:25Guest:Yeah, I did.

01:07:26Marc:Yeah, how'd they go?

01:07:28Guest:I have a surveillance camera in my family's living room, and so I showed pictures from that, and I think that was fun.

01:07:35Guest:I think people liked it.

01:07:36Marc:You do?

01:07:36Guest:Yeah.

01:07:37Marc:What do they know it?

01:07:39Guest:Yeah, it was started out to so I could see the dogs sleeping at night and then it just like became a way to make fun of my family.

01:07:46Marc:And you were on you were on Maria's show for an episode.

01:07:49Guest:Oh, yeah.

01:07:49Guest:Maria is like why I started doing stand up.

01:07:51Marc:Really?

01:07:52Guest:Yeah.

01:07:53Yeah.

01:07:53Marc:She would never do the comedy story.

01:07:55Guest:No, no.

01:07:56Guest:But I mean, because I went.

01:07:57Marc:Maybe she would.

01:07:58Guest:I don't know if she's ever been in there.

01:07:59Guest:My high school went to the Fringe Festival in Edinburgh, and I'd never seen Stand Up Live before.

01:08:03Guest:And one of my friends was like, oh, this person's really funny.

01:08:06Guest:Let's go.

01:08:06Guest:I'm like, sure.

01:08:07Guest:And it was Maria.

01:08:08Guest:And I like, I mean, changed me forever.

01:08:11Guest:Was the funniest.

01:08:13Guest:Talk about like looking for someone who could have a strong.

01:08:17Marc:Oh, yeah.

01:08:17Marc:She's the best.

01:08:18Guest:Yeah.

01:08:19Marc:It's like a savant.

01:08:20Guest:Yeah.

01:08:20Guest:I was like, well, I don't know what this is, but I, I want this.

01:08:23Guest:This is good.

01:08:24Marc:She's great.

01:08:25Marc:Yeah.

01:08:25Marc:So that really, so you had your mind blown experience, the mind blowing experience, the cathartic, you know, revelation.

01:08:32Marc:Was it with Bamford in Scotland?

01:08:34Guest:Yeah.

01:08:36Guest:Huh?

01:08:36Guest:Yeah.

01:08:36Marc:That makes sense.

01:08:37Guest:I guess so.

01:08:38Guest:Yeah.

01:08:38Guest:I mean, yeah.

01:08:38Marc:Did you tell her that?

01:08:40Guest:I did.

01:08:41Guest:Yeah, I did.

01:08:42Guest:And she went, oh, okay.

01:08:43Guest:Yeah, she's so awesome.

01:08:46Guest:Yeah, I mean, you know, she's the nicest, funniest person there ever was.

01:08:50Marc:What did you do on her show?

01:08:52Guest:I played a teenager who was...

01:08:57Guest:asking her for comedy advice because our moms are friends and basically end up telling her that she's not funny and that I'm really funny and my friends at school think I'm funny.

01:09:07Guest:It's kind of crazy.

01:09:09Marc:I've got to watch this show.

01:09:10Marc:It's so good.

01:09:12Marc:I've got to make time to watch it.

01:09:14Guest:Her show's worth it.

01:09:15Guest:Oh, yeah.

01:09:16Marc:I love her so much.

01:09:17Marc:I think I watched one episode, but I can't.

01:09:19Marc:I just got to lock in.

01:09:20Marc:Are you doing a podcast?

01:09:22No.

01:09:23Guest:Yeah, I now have, so I had my podcast, which you did, which was really fun.

01:09:27Marc:What was it called again?

01:09:29Guest:Weird Adults.

01:09:30Marc:Yeah, right.

01:09:30Guest:And then now I'm doing like a female, like we talk about makeup, diet, exercise, beauty, self-care called Glowing Up that I co-host with one of the writers on my show, Caroline Goldfarb.

01:09:41Marc:Yeah?

01:09:43Marc:And it's real?

01:09:44Guest:What do you mean?

01:09:44Marc:It's a real advice show or a struggle show?

01:09:48Guest:Yeah, like we talk about, it's very, yeah.

01:09:51Marc:Yeah, yeah.

01:09:52Marc:Why do I have to do this?

01:09:53Guest:Why am I not that?

01:09:55Guest:Why am I still trying to be that?

01:09:57Guest:Yeah.

01:09:58Marc:And what happened, did you do one with Brody?

01:10:00Guest:Brody and I had a podcast way back in the day with Red Band.

01:10:04Guest:We had a podcast called Brodiness that we did right after his big breakdown.

01:10:09Guest:He kind of needed some.

01:10:13Marc:How was that?

01:10:14Guest:It was fun.

01:10:15Guest:It was like, you know.

01:10:16Marc:What was your relationship with that whole crew?

01:10:18Marc:How did you end up in the, what is it called?

01:10:23Marc:What's Red Band's?

01:10:25Guest:Death Squad.

01:10:26Marc:Death Squad, yeah.

01:10:26Marc:How did you end up in the Rogue and Red Band Matrix?

01:10:29Guest:I was dating Redman for a little while after Tony and I broke up.

01:10:35Guest:Yeah.

01:10:35Guest:And then we started hanging out.

01:10:38Guest:And then we broke up.

01:10:38Guest:We were not together for very long.

01:10:40Guest:And then after we broke up, the Brody and Esther thing happened.

01:10:44Marc:But you were doing Joe's show?

01:10:45Marc:Like Joe had you on a few times?

01:10:47Guest:Yeah, I went with Joe.

01:10:48Guest:I went to Austin with him and did a couple things like that.

01:10:51Marc:What, stand-up?

01:10:51Guest:Yeah.

01:10:52Yeah.

01:10:52Marc:That was good?

01:10:53Guest:It was good, yeah.

01:10:54Guest:He was a really great dude.

01:10:55Guest:Yeah.

01:10:56Marc:So let's talk about, before we wrap it up, what was, how did this show get made?

01:11:02Marc:So people who have hopes and dreams to help some little girls get their shows made.

01:11:07Guest:Oh, I'd love to do that.

01:11:08Guest:So we, my best friend and I, we just decided we were at the premiere party of Brody Stevens' Comedy Central show.

01:11:17Guest:And

01:11:19Guest:Someone came up to us.

01:11:21Marc:Brody Stevens?

01:11:22Guest:Yeah, he had a Comedy Central show that Zach Galifianic has produced.

01:11:25Marc:When was that?

01:11:27Guest:When was that?

01:11:27Guest:Like six years ago?

01:11:28Guest:Oh, right.

01:11:29Marc:Brody.

01:11:29Marc:Okay.

01:11:29Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:11:32Guest:And someone came up to us and they were just like, you guys are so weird.

01:11:36Guest:Like you two are something.

01:11:37Marc:You and Benji?

01:11:37Guest:Yeah.

01:11:38Guest:Because people would always comment on us.

01:11:40Guest:Why aren't you dating?

01:11:41Marc:He's your best friend?

01:11:42Guest:Yeah.

01:11:43Marc:Yeah.

01:11:43Guest:And we, that night, we just, we like, okay, we're going to make something.

01:11:48Guest:We got to just make something.

01:11:49Marc:His last name is Aflalo?

01:11:50Marc:Aflalo.

01:11:51Marc:Aflalo.

01:11:51Marc:Yeah.

01:11:51Marc:Benji Aflalo.

01:11:52Marc:I've watched him do standup a few times.

01:11:54Marc:He's funny.

01:11:54Guest:Yeah.

01:11:54Marc:Yeah.

01:11:55Guest:And he also has the darkness.

01:11:57Guest:He does.

01:11:58Guest:Inside of him.

01:11:59Guest:For sure.

01:11:59Guest:Yeah.

01:11:59Guest:And then we decided to make a short film and that took fucking forever to figure out because we were just two stand-up comics with no idea.

01:12:06Guest:And eventually we figured it out.

01:12:09Guest:And so we shot that and then we cut it down to like a little two-minute version and sent it around and then got a meeting at Lonely Island's company and then they decided they'd want to make it with us.

01:12:23Guest:So then from there we pitched it.

01:12:24Marc:Oh, okay, with them behind you.

01:12:26Guest:Yeah.

01:12:26Marc:You pitched it with them.

01:12:27Guest:Yes.

01:12:28Marc:At Networks.

01:12:28Guest:Yes.

01:12:29Marc:Oh, that's good.

01:12:29Guest:Yeah.

01:12:30Guest:You kind of need someone to vouch for you, I think.

01:12:32Marc:Well, no, it definitely makes it, you know, you can get into rooms.

01:12:36Guest:Yeah.

01:12:36Marc:Did Andy have anything to do with it?

01:12:38Marc:Did you meet with him?

01:12:39Guest:We met with him a few times.

01:12:41Guest:Andy Samberg?

01:12:41Guest:Yeah, but he, you know, they weren't, they're good producers in the sense that they let us do what we wanted to do.

01:12:47Marc:Yeah, it looks like it.

01:12:48Marc:Yeah.

01:12:49Marc:It's good.

01:12:49Guest:Yeah.

01:12:50Marc:And who's writing on it?

01:12:51Guest:It's me, Benji.

01:12:53Guest:Our co-creator is this guy, Eben Russell.

01:12:56Guest:And we have this woman, Amy Hubs, Caroline Goldfarb, Shelley Gossman, Alex Blag.

01:13:04Guest:Those are our writers this year.

01:13:06Marc:Not comics?

01:13:07Guest:Who's a comic in there?

01:13:08Guest:No, no comics in there this year.

01:13:10Guest:No.

01:13:11Marc:A lot of women.

01:13:12Guest:Yeah, a lot of women.

01:13:13Guest:Yeah.

01:13:14Guest:Yeah.

01:13:14Guest:Are you still doing your show?

01:13:16Guest:No.

01:13:16Guest:No, because you're on GLOW.

01:13:17Marc:I'm on GLOW.

01:13:17Marc:A lot of women.

01:13:18Guest:Yeah.

01:13:18Marc:It's just me and a lot of women.

01:13:19Guest:That's so, do you feel like at home, like that's how it's supposed to be for you?

01:13:23Guest:Because you have a very like feminine energy.

01:13:26Guest:I mean, the way you talk about food is, makes me feel safe.

01:13:29Marc:Well, that's the weird balance with me.

01:13:32Marc:There's a part of me that through defensiveness and hypersensitivity has gotten kind of callous and there's a type of manliness that I can manifest that I think I used to protect myself for years, but I think the core is a little more.

01:13:49Marc:Yeah, I used to do a joke about that, about having an inner girl.

01:13:53Marc:Her name's Jill and she has an eating disorder.

01:13:55Marc:Yeah.

01:13:57Marc:i'm aware of all that yeah yeah that makes sense but i do like the other thing's pretty real too you know that's the weird thing about me is that whatever sort of alpha component i have whatever sort of assholeness i have is pretty toxic and pretty male but like i think at the you know the the other one's winning now so oh that's good why do you think that is how did that happen

01:14:18Marc:Because you have to, after a certain point, I think what you're trying to do is be true to yourself and be comfortable with yourself.

01:14:27Marc:So bringing those things together or allowing that stuff to live as opposed to stuff that stuff down, that process when you don't have good parents takes forever.

01:14:38Marc:So you're sort of finding yourself, you're comfortable with yourself much later if you're lucky.

01:14:45Marc:And I do have to battle the defensive part of me.

01:14:51Guest:Yeah, I do too.

01:14:52Guest:You do?

01:14:53Guest:Yeah, yeah.

01:14:54Marc:Is this resonating with you?

01:14:55Guest:It is, because I also feel like I have that toxic male side of me, but it's not really that, my version of that, which is like defensive and, you know, yeah, defensive is probably the biggest.

01:15:08Marc:And mean.

01:15:09Guest:Yeah.

01:15:10Marc:With me, like if I get defensive, I'll be preemptively hostile and hurtful.

01:15:14Marc:Yeah.

01:15:14Guest:Yeah.

01:15:15Guest:You know what is the most specific example of this I have is that because when you move to L.A., you're like, you know, you're in show business and you're just I don't know.

01:15:25Guest:I wasn't really the person I was growing up because now I was just like having fun trying to make it.

01:15:31Guest:Right.

01:15:32Guest:And so I I did Last Comic Standing and one of the judges was Norm MacDonald.

01:15:38Guest:And he said something kind of mean to me.

01:15:40Guest:Yeah.

01:15:40Guest:And I wasn't expecting that because the producers are like, they're going to be nice.

01:15:44Guest:They're like, this is not like American Idol.

01:15:47Guest:This is, you know, which I guess that's what they told us.

01:15:50Guest:But they told the judge is something different because now Norman, I've talked about it.

01:15:53Guest:And he's like, yeah.

01:15:56Guest:And he said something mean to me and... What?

01:15:58Guest:I don't even remember.

01:15:59Guest:It was not even that big of a deal.

01:16:01Guest:But he just said something that caught me off guard and then like the real unplanned person inside of me came out.

01:16:07Guest:And I like went off on him and was so like... On camera?

01:16:11Guest:Yeah.

01:16:12Guest:I went off on him and it was... It never aired.

01:16:14Guest:But... And then I was like, oh, yeah, that's a person inside of me I forgot about.

01:16:20Guest:And I think that was... I just remembered that like...

01:16:23Guest:If my uncle said something that pissed me off, like that's how I would react.

01:16:27Guest:And that's just what happened and came up.

01:16:29Guest:And I hadn't seen that person since I had moved out here.

01:16:33Guest:And so, yeah, I guess, yeah, there's someone in me that wants to be like, don't you fucking talk to me like that at all times.

01:16:40Marc:yeah yeah and well that well that's normal when you like if like however you are emotionally diminished by selfish parents right if you have to do your growing up sort of on your own put yourself together right like the only real defining part of your personality when you're that vulnerable is fuck you yeah that's what's going to protect you until you get it together and

01:17:05Guest:Yeah.

01:17:06Guest:That makes me feel so much better that you can kind of explain it.

01:17:09Guest:Because I am like, why am I so ready to just don't talk?

01:17:13Guest:Like, why am I ready to defend?

01:17:15Marc:Because we weren't given any, you know, we weren't grounded properly.

01:17:19Guest:Like, what's the normal reaction just to be quiet and think about it?

01:17:23Guest:No, no, I don't know if it's to be quiet.

01:17:25Guest:I hear what you're saying.

01:17:26Guest:Like, is that right?

01:17:26Marc:No, but I'm just saying that, like, you know, it's a sensitivity, you know, that, you know, if you weren't properly capped,

01:17:33Marc:emotionally as a child, you know, you sort of still have very childish emotions.

01:17:39Marc:So you're going to respond like that.

01:17:41Marc:No, you are.

01:17:41Guest:Yeah.

01:17:44Marc:Right?

01:17:46Marc:Because no one gave you the emotional cocoon to develop a sense of self that was based in confidence or self-esteem.

01:17:57Marc:So you're still kind of like, there's still that flailing five-year-old.

01:18:02Marc:But now, you know, I'm 54.

01:18:04Marc:It's very non-attractive.

01:18:06Marc:You know what five-year-old's emotions coming to a 54-year-old's brain can do.

01:18:10Guest:That's so funny.

01:18:11Guest:Wow, that's so funny.

01:18:14Marc:right yeah no that's right that's embarrassed i'm embarrassed oh i know i you know i feel that too and like it's weird because i feel a little bit coming out lately you know because things are going good and everything's all right and but like you know now i've got time off and i'm working on new stand-up and i'm just saying shit about people i'm like what are you doing dude you don't need to slag anybody do you mean like on air no no just like in conversations you know like fuck that guy i'm like

01:18:41Marc:Well, you know, and that's one of the things you learn, you know, as time goes on that that stuff doesn't play, you know, because there's like, there are just dozens of people that hear you say, fuck that guy.

01:18:51Marc:And they want to be like, you know, Marin, you know, so like, you know, it's just, there's a fucking wildfire to it, but I'm projecting a little bit, but I have to be very, very aware.

01:19:00Marc:There's no reason for me to be bitter and there's no reason for me to be shitty about other people.

01:19:06Marc:So like, but it is sort of an old habit.

01:19:09Guest:You're so right.

01:19:10Guest:Yeah.

01:19:10Guest:Cause I'm, I'm like why I'm bitter about something right now.

01:19:14Guest:And I'm like, how can I be bitter?

01:19:16Guest:Like I've, I moved here with nothing.

01:19:19Guest:And even if this is as far as I go, having two seasons of a show that I created and star in, like I should, I should be so happy.

01:19:26Guest:There should be not one sense of bitterness or unhappiness, but why is there one thing that's like, fuck that?

01:19:32Guest:Like, I'm so like, you're wrong.

01:19:35Marc:Well, that's the shit you gotta keep to yourself.

01:19:38Guest:Yeah, which I do.

01:19:39Guest:You gotta suck that shit.

01:19:40Guest:I sure do.

01:19:41Marc:Oh, good, good.

01:19:42Guest:And my therapist.

01:19:43Marc:Keep that up.

01:19:44Marc:Good talking to you.

01:19:45Marc:Congratulations on all your success, Esther.

01:19:47Guest:Same.

01:19:47Guest:Thanks so much, Mark.

01:19:54Marc:Okay, that's our show.

01:19:55Marc:I love catching up with her.

01:19:57Marc:I love her.

01:19:58Marc:She's great.

01:20:00Marc:I'll play.

01:20:01Marc:I'll play.

01:20:02Marc:I'll play.

01:20:03Marc:I'll play three chords.

01:20:05Marc:I'll probably repeat myself.

01:20:06Marc:We'll see where it goes.

01:20:08Marc:But I like it.

01:20:09Marc:I like playing.

01:20:10Marc:I need to change the strings on my Stratocaster.

01:20:12Marc:I know.

01:20:13Marc:I know.

01:20:15I know.

01:21:08Marc:Boomer lives!