Episode 865 - Christina Pazsitzky
Marc:Lock the gates!
Marc:Alright, let's do this.
Marc:How are you, what the fuck, buddy?
Marc:What happened?
Marc:Alright, let's do this.
Marc:How are you, what the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck, buddies?
Marc:What the fuckineers?
Marc:What the fucksters?
Marc:What's going on?
Marc:I'm Mark Maron.
Marc:I'm punchy.
Marc:I'm tired.
Marc:I haven't really slept.
Marc:How's it going?
Marc:Yeah, this is my podcast, WTF.
Marc:Welcome to it.
Marc:I flew in very early this morning, today being Sunday that I'm recording for you on Monday for this lovely show featuring the very funny and great Christina Pazitzky.
Marc:Man, I better pronounce that right.
Marc:Pazitzky.
Marc:P-A-Z-S-I-T-Z-K-Y.
Marc:Christina Pazitzky.
Marc:Pazitzky.
Marc:We talk about it.
Marc:I think that's it.
Marc:I think I got it.
Marc:I love her.
Marc:She's married to the very funny Tom Segura.
Marc:They have a podcast together called Your Mom's House.
Marc:She also has a great special out now called Mother Inferior, streaming on Netflix.
Marc:She's got her own podcast, That's Deep Bro.
Marc:So you can check those out wherever you get podcasts.
Marc:This is the first time we've really gotten to talk.
Marc:We did a live one.
Marc:Many years ago, but had a great chat.
Marc:So that's coming up.
Marc:That's coming your way.
Marc:I'm tired.
Marc:I'm chunky.
Marc:I'm a little bit delusional.
Marc:I was in Hartford, Hartford, Connecticut yesterday.
Marc:I flew out there Friday night.
Marc:I'm trying to, as I told you before, I'm moving.
Marc:Everything's in limbo.
Marc:I seem to have a hard time detaching from, I just, I don't know how long I can keep in this limbo.
Marc:At some point, I just gotta, I gotta move, right?
Marc:I gotta just move, right?
Marc:I don't know, man.
Marc:Everything is so complicated.
Marc:I just flew out there late Friday night, half awake, stressed out.
Marc:That flight was all screwed up.
Marc:Went through Chicago.
Marc:Then I got to Hartford, not an electric city.
Marc:I got nothing against it.
Marc:I remember driving through Hartford a lot.
Marc:Hartford was a place that you kind of went through.
Marc:I think on 86, maybe, if you took the right way from New York to Boston, you would kind of move through Hartford and go like, hey, I guess that's Hartford.
Marc:But yeah, I went there for this thing called the CT Forum.
Marc:It's a nonprofit that does a big lecture series and works with high school kids and does all kinds of interesting stuff with a lot of sponsors.
Marc:But
Marc:But it was a panel.
Marc:It was a comedy panel booked months ago.
Marc:It was me, Tig Notaro and Fred Armisen hosted by a fella named Colin McEnroe.
Marc:And it was kind of a lovely event.
Marc:I had not seen Fred in a while.
Marc:I had not seen Tig in a while.
Marc:I had not talked to either of them.
Marc:And it was like a full evening.
Marc:It was kind of wild, actually.
Marc:I wake up the next day in Hartford, Connecticut.
Marc:I don't turn my watch back.
Marc:I keep it on L.A.
Marc:time because I know I'm just going to be fucked up because I'm only there two nights.
Marc:But the view I had from my room was just into an atrium.
Marc:I opened the curtains up, and there was a view of a lobby.
Marc:which is a little, I don't know, it makes you feel like THX 1138, like we're no longer allowed to go outside anymore.
Marc:So that was disconcerting, and the hallway was a little noisy.
Marc:Why am I just rambling on about this?
Marc:So the event starts where me and Tig and Fred Armisen, we go and meet with this group of high school kids who have questions for all of us about comedy.
Marc:And I hadn't seen Tig in a long time and I hadn't seen Fred in a long time.
Marc:And it was really, you know, there is something about the comedy community.
Marc:It was good to catch up with everybody.
Marc:It was fun to see those two in particular because we were all together and it was sort of an odd group.
Marc:And it was interesting to see how everybody responded in talking to addressing questions of people interested in comedy, young people.
Marc:And we did that for a few minutes and then we were taken to some cocktail gathering where we all had to,
Marc:sort of hang out and engage with the regular working people that that's something as a comic you you know you do it after shows sometimes and maybe if you're you know on set but that's you know show business working people but these were just people from all the different sponsors who had different affiliations with the with the CT forum and and it was like a cocktail hour and they'd set us all up at different stations and
Marc:Within the within this within this bar area, like we all had a table with our name on a little placard sticking out of the table.
Marc:So there's just like I was just standing at a small round bar table with the note card, which just said Mark Maron on it.
Marc:And I just was there available to people to come up and talk and take pictures and.
Marc:You know, answer questions.
Marc:And Tig was in some other part of the room and Fred was in another part of the room.
Marc:And we just kind of stood by our names and talked to people.
Marc:And it was it was actually very pleasant.
Marc:I don't I don't know why it was just I'd been in my head and so upset about things and so stressed out with moving and other stuff.
Marc:And.
Marc:It was nice just to get out, hang out with some comics and talk to regular people.
Marc:Then we had this big dinner thing where it was like a wedding almost where we were assigned tables.
Marc:We were all at different tables.
Marc:I was with a bunch of people from Comcast who were a sponsor.
Marc:And I talked to the fellow from Comcast for a while about their business model and comedy and this and that.
Marc:And he was a big fan of the podcast.
Yeah.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:It was a relief.
Marc:It was a relief to get out of L.A., to go do an event that was proactive, a nonprofit that did good work in the world, and to sit and talk to regular people.
Marc:This was an epic experience.
Marc:And the panel was great, too.
Marc:It was fun.
Marc:The guy Colin McEnroe did a great job.
Marc:And we did like an hour, it seemed like, of him just asking us questions and us talking together.
Marc:It was a lot of laughs.
Marc:It's a lot of talk about, you know, heavy stuff, not so heavy stuff, comedy stuff.
Marc:And and then there was a break and then there was a Q&A and that got that got fun and everybody was funny.
Marc:And I don't know.
Marc:And then we all afterwards climbed onto this jolly little bus with some of the organizers and went back to the hotel.
Marc:And I don't know what to tell you, but it was a sweet event, and I want to thank them for having me out, and it was good to see everybody.
Marc:I tried to find a restaurant in downtown Hartford on Friday afternoon.
Marc:It was not easy.
Marc:I went to some Italian place, and it was just me and...
Marc:A family of four eating there.
Marc:I'd like to think we ate together, but I don't think they saw it that way.
Marc:I was the guy alone, you know, occasionally mumbling to himself a couple of tables over.
Marc:But it was good food.
Marc:What are you going to do?
Marc:Then I flew back this morning at four in the fucking morning.
Marc:And it was just one of those things, man, where...
Marc:You know, you just get to the airport.
Marc:The flight was at 625.
Marc:I booked the car wrong, so I was there at 10 after 4, and then it was late coming in, and then I just saw the vests.
Marc:I saw the guys in the vests going on the plane.
Marc:I'm like, oh, fuck, no, I got to get back.
Marc:I got to get back to talk about exactly what I'm talking about right now.
Marc:I got to get back to talk about whatever's about to happen here at this airport so I can get the show up by tomorrow.
Marc:Little delay.
Marc:Just the seal problem.
Marc:The vague seal.
Marc:A seal needed to be pushed up.
Marc:So they pushed up the seal and we got the fuck out of there.
Marc:I made it home and now I'm punchy.
Marc:What can I tell you?
Marc:Can I just start Christina now?
Marc:I can, right?
Marc:I need to get a nap or something.
Marc:I need to move some things.
Marc:Oh, God.
Marc:I've got to study my lines for tomorrow.
Marc:Christina Pazitsky.
Marc:Pazitsky is, as I said before, she's got a special on Netflix called Mother Inferior.
Marc:And she does a show, a podcast with Tom Segura, her husband, called Your Mom's House.
Marc:She does her own show called That's Deep Bro.
Marc:And this is her and I talking about philosophy a bit and other things.
Marc:Great time.
Marc:Great chat.
Guest:Pazitsky is terrible.
Guest:It's the worst.
Guest:Pazitsky?
Marc:Yeah, Pazitsky.
Marc:Pazitsky.
Marc:Like Joshua Gabor.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:My whole life, it's just, I hate it.
Marc:I'm over it.
Marc:So Christina P, that's the new special?
Guest:That's it, bro.
Marc:What'd you call the special?
Guest:Mother Inferior.
Guest:Well, you know, because they were like, you got to tap into that mom.
Guest:And I was like, all right.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Okay, I'll do it.
Marc:Yeah, well, I mean, you might as well, right?
Guest:Well, I want people to watch it.
Guest:You know, because the title I originally had, they're like, no.
Marc:Which one?
Marc:What was that?
Marc:I hate my child?
Guest:No, it was just called Good Job, because my dad believes you should only praise a child once a day.
Guest:You say one good job a day.
Marc:And look what happened to you.
Guest:Are you telling me?
Marc:You telling me?
Marc:Well, I guess he praised you.
Marc:At least he had a system.
Marc:At least you were getting praise.
Guest:I feel like, though, to become funny, you can't get.
Guest:It's the opposite.
Guest:You have to have a lot of self-loathing.
Guest:It's got to cultivate.
Marc:How does that happen?
Marc:I'm just dealing with that today.
Marc:I stopped doing nicotine.
Marc:I was doing the nicotine lozenge.
Guest:I heard this, yes.
Marc:And like now I'm just like, I'm like all down on myself.
Marc:All this fucked up insecurity is coming back.
Guest:All the demons howling telling you you aren't good enough.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Oh, that's great.
Marc:And all it was taken was nicotine to keep that shit down.
Guest:Isn't that interesting?
Marc:Yeah, it used to take more, but that was working.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:I loved smoking.
Guest:I smoked for 17 years.
Guest:It was fantastic.
Marc:What do you use now?
Guest:No, nothing.
Guest:I white knuckle it and I go see my shrink.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I just, I feel my feelings now.
Guest:Oh, it's terrible.
Marc:It's terrible.
Marc:What are they?
Guest:I know.
Marc:Mine seem to be revolving around like sort of like, oh, I'm sort of sad and nothing's that great.
Guest:Oh my.
Guest:Things that great.
Guest:Yeah, a lot of sad because I was so angry my whole life, I think, until I got into psychotherapy.
Guest:And now I've learned that it's okay to have the feelings and then they pass and then you can just be okay again.
Guest:But I didn't know that people had feelings that they felt and then...
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You know?
Marc:Yeah, just anger.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Because I think they say it's sadness.
Marc:I think anger is sort of a go-to for a lot of emotions.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Do you know what I mean?
Marc:Like if you're the ones that are more uncomfortable.
Marc:Sadness.
Marc:No, fuck that.
Marc:I'm going to fuck that.
Guest:I want to get punk rock.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Fuck sadness.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Rebellion's more fun.
Guest:Let's fucking write some jokes and stick it to the moon.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Yeah, I like that.
Marc:And then when you take that away, it's just sort of like, no, that's kind of sad.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I just want to eat something.
Guest:Oh, that too.
Guest:I used to eat a lot on the road.
Guest:That was my jam.
Guest:Like, you know, you do your show.
Guest:You're all pumped.
Guest:And then you go back to your sad courtyard Marriott.
Guest:And then I would eat.
Marc:Pillage the sad little candy bar shop they have there.
Marc:Ice cream.
Marc:Snickers bars.
Marc:M&M's.
Marc:All that.
Marc:Never the hot goods.
Marc:Oh, you do the hot goods?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Not like the hot pockets.
Guest:Those are disgusting.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, yeah?
Marc:But you do which one?
Marc:Mac and cheese?
Guest:Mac and cheese.
Guest:I remember, especially in Indianapolis, the hotel that Crackers put you up at, they had a specific one that was my jam.
Guest:It was so disgusting.
Marc:I haven't been to Crackers in a long time, but man, one downtown, they used to put you up at like a halfway house.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Do you go that far back where they had that the winter house?
Marc:It was called.
Marc:They had sort of like a con.
Marc:It was their condo.
Marc:But it was, you know, you go to that place.
Marc:There'd be police lines and the hallway.
Marc:Like, what kind of fucking place is this?
Marc:Nasty apartment, like a furnished apartment situation.
Marc:It was nasty, man.
Guest:No, she they put me up in the outskirts one at that.
Guest:That like Marriott.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I haven't been there in years, but they didn't do a mainstream one when I was at Broad Whipple either.
Marc:That was another weird-ass hotel.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Guest:Can you believe, like, I was just thinking about it.
Guest:Because with my special being out now, like, I can't believe how many bad places I put myself to get here.
Guest:Do you know what I'm saying?
Guest:Like, the lack of self-preservation and the lack of, like, I should protect myself.
Guest:I shouldn't stay in these places.
Marc:No, I know.
Marc:I know.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You're just so in it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And it's compounded by the fact that you're a woman.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:you're just like you know and i imagine that there has to be that moment when you're a comic and you're a road comic and you're a woman where you're at one of those places you're like what the am i doing yeah who are these people in my room yeah yeah or just the point where you get where you have to tell your agent all right if it's a hotel the room faces indoors not out to a parking lot uh no sliding glass doors that face out like come on dude i have to tell this to people like this is my job
Guest:So weird.
Marc:And hotel life is a little creepy, too.
Guest:Oh, it's so lonely.
Marc:It's so weird, right?
Guest:Oh, God.
Marc:I've gotten a little more demanding as I've gotten a little bigger.
Guest:You kind of should, yes.
Marc:Yeah, it's just a little better.
Marc:But I like a Marriott Courtyard.
Guest:What do you prefer, though?
Guest:Let's be real, the Four Seasons or the Courtyard Marriott?
Marc:Well, there's also the Hilton Garden ones, right?
Guest:I like those Hilton Garden inns.
Marc:Yeah, those are all right.
Marc:But I mean, I'm sort of weirdly Courtyard Marriott guy.
Marc:If I can't get a nice hotel, even if I can get... If I have a choice between an old-timey luxury hotel, like a Sheraton, that's just like from the 70s, and a Courtyard, I'll fucking do the Courtyard.
Guest:Well, the Couryards, they're updated.
Marc:Well, they're updated and they have food and shit and they have enough plugs, you know, and you're not stranded in some, you know, Death Star, you know, giant hotel that you can't have food.
Guest:And then there's no sidewalk on the street, so you can't walk anywhere.
Guest:Yeah, those places.
Guest:Or my favorite is when they have the restaurant and they're like, well, it's open from 7 a.m.
Guest:to 9 a.m.
Guest:And then it opens again at 7 p.m.
Guest:And you're like, well, what am I supposed to do all day?
Marc:yeah what am i gonna do how do i eat yeah this is before postmates too like you would just walk to the ihop two miles down sad walk in the strange town from the hotel that's not there's nothing to drive to you're the only one i've had that conversation with so many comics where you're like where am i you just walk out of that hotel with your sunglasses and you ask whoever's like how do i get to there like are you walking yeah
Marc:Before Uber?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You just walk in places.
Marc:It's crazy.
Marc:And you think like, this will be good.
Marc:You have your notebook.
Marc:No, yeah.
Marc:And then you go about an hour and you're like, fuck, this seems farther than I thought.
Guest:It's always farther.
Guest:It's always two miles, three miles farther.
Guest:You think it's going to be an easy walk?
Guest:No.
Marc:So wait, you grew up here?
Guest:Yeah, I grew up in the San Fernando Valley.
Guest:What town?
Guest:Like everywhere.
Guest:Encino, Tarzana, Woodland Hills, West Hills, Canoga Park.
Marc:Really?
Guest:My folks divorced and they moved around.
Marc:Were they in a very small Air Force?
Guest:i know right valley oriented military we just moved like we the folks before so i bounced between two people and two people moved an average amount of times oh i see so i think over the span of my up how old were you when they divorced four yeah oh it's bad listen the childhood is textbook formula for a comedian how uh you have siblings
Guest:I have three stepsisters for my mom's second marriage.
Guest:But they're, you know, steps.
Marc:But they came later.
Guest:They came when I was like 12.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:12 or 13.
Marc:Triplets?
Guest:No, no.
Guest:There are three of them, but they're, you know, staggered.
Marc:Teared?
Marc:Yeah, they're great.
Marc:Staggered.
Guest:They're great.
Guest:They're wonderful.
Marc:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:They got the healthy childhood?
Guest:No, no, no, no.
Marc:She was just a tumbling disaster, your mom?
Guest:Oh, holy, I mean, how much time is a show?
Guest:Like, do we, oh my God.
Marc:What'd your dad do out there?
Guest:So, okay, here's the story.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So my folks are Hungarian immigrants, hence my last name, Pajitsky, which now I have.
Marc:Like, with accents and everything?
Guest:Yeah, old school, dude, old country, the communists.
Guest:Do you speak Hungarian?
Guest:Not well, like at a tiny baby level.
Marc:Did they used to speak it so you wouldn't understand what they were saying?
Guest:No.
Guest:I understood.
Guest:I understood.
Guest:But anyway, they escaped from Hungary in 69.
Guest:Escaped.
Marc:Who was taking over?
Guest:The Russians.
Marc:Right.
Guest:They screwed up the country pretty bad.
Guest:So the Russians came and annexed all of Central Europe, Eastern Europe, and we had the Soviet Union and they screwed up everything.
Guest:So my folks were like, fuck this, I'm out.
Guest:So my parents were like 20 years old and like 19.
Guest:They got married and they fled.
Guest:When you think about it, imagine fleeing your mother country.
Guest:What were you doing at 19?
Marc:or 20 just trying to figure out who i was man you know just reading some of these books halfway through smoking cigarettes yeah yeah smoking cigarettes you know going goodwill shopping oh right that's so important too yeah who am i yeah yeah what do i want what do i like is this haircut gonna work out
Marc:How are these glasses frames?
Guest:How am I going to get laid?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:How does that work?
Marc:How am I going to, how do I, what do I do with that?
Marc:I'm so obsessed with that girl.
Marc:I think I'll write something about her.
Guest:What was your game when you were 20?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I don't know that I had much game.
Marc:I think the game, I don't think I got game until a little later.
Guest:Well, now your game's on point.
Marc:You've got the game.
Marc:It took a long time.
Marc:It took about 40 years to get my game on point.
Marc:I don't know, man.
Marc:When I was 20, when I was in college, I sort of was doing a lot of stuff.
Marc:I was in plays and I directed things and I was doing photography and I was studying English and art history and writing for the paper.
Guest:Oh, so you were interesting.
Marc:Yeah, full on.
Marc:I want to be an intellectual guy.
Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And I, I don't think I ever got it.
Marc:I mean, I got the, I got the costume, got the books.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know, I got it.
Marc:I have, I have a, I'm a pretty good thinker, but I like to really do the studying to know shit.
Marc:I realized at some point to, to like, to be an English professor or something, it's like, oh, you got to focus on a very specific area.
Marc:And then you get, I'd never quite got the hang of philosophy and that kind of stuff.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But I was a creative guy.
Marc:You know, it was always about, you know, writing things and, you know, poetry I was into.
Marc:And then eventually I got my heart broken.
Marc:I started drinking.
Marc:And comedy became... And there you go.
Marc:It's the formula.
Marc:I always wanted to be a comic.
Marc:And I was like, finally, I'm here.
Marc:This is what... There's no other way.
Guest:So you were like the brooding intellectual... Were you smoking cigarettes back then?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So was I. I was a broody philosophy major.
Guest:Black.
Guest:I still wear a lot of black.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Depressed.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But didn't know that stand-up was an option for me.
Guest:I didn't know yet.
Marc:I knew performing was an option, and I knew I wanted to do it, but I never wanted to be an entertainer.
Marc:I just wanted to figure some shit out.
Marc:Yeah, me too.
Marc:I had some shit to say.
Marc:Where am I going to say it?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Because I think I knew that life felt fucked up.
Guest:I was like, something's wrong.
Guest:I don't know what it is.
Marc:Something's weird.
Guest:Can't be me.
Guest:Yeah, no, no, no, no, no.
Guest:Childhood was great.
Guest:What are you talking about?
Marc:Parents are perfect.
Marc:I am so on to everybody's shit.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I'm on to this.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So you were a philosophy man?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I studied philosophy in school.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I graduated.
Guest:They weren't hiring at the philosophy company.
Marc:From college?
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Marc:But wait, let's go back to your parents.
Marc:They come from Hungary and how they get it together.
Guest:So they escape on foot, which is bananas.
Guest:They cross the ocean on foot?
Guest:Well, so they swam.
Guest:They went to Yugoslavia.
Guest:They got caught.
Guest:They got kicked.
Guest:It was like a long thing.
Guest:Anyway, they ended up in Italy, like a refugee camp in Italy.
Guest:And then after a year, the Catholic Church sponsored them to go to Canada.
Guest:And so they moved to Canada.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:And Windsor, Ontario, very glamorous, across from Detroit.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And that's where I was born.
Guest:And then we moved to the U.S.
Guest:four years later.
Marc:You're a Canadian citizen?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Still?
Guest:No, I think I am because I was born there, but my passport has expired a long time.
Guest:I got to figure that out.
Guest:Yeah, you should.
Guest:I know, I kind of want to be.
Guest:You might have to go.
Guest:I was thinking about that when November 8th came around.
Marc:Me too, buddy.
Marc:Me too.
Marc:I never envied Canadian citizens more.
Marc:All these comics that I knew that were Canadian, I'm like, you guys can just go back.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, we're here.
Marc:Oh, man.
Guest:I dug it up though, I will admit.
Guest:November 9th, I dug it up and I was like, time to get this thing renewed.
Marc:I did the exact same thing then.
Guest:I didn't follow through.
Guest:What?
Guest:I didn't follow through yet.
Guest:No, I had some other stuff to do first and then I was going to do it.
Marc:Mine still had like eight months on it and I'm like, I've got to do it.
Marc:I've got to do it.
Marc:It's very quick if you do the express.
Guest:Okay.
Marc:If you already have a passport.
Guest:I do, but it was from when I was 16.
Okay.
Marc:Oh, so it just doesn't even work.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's like, it's been a while because I became a US citizen when I was in high school when I was like 17.
Guest:So I don't.
Marc:Was there an event?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I went downtown.
Guest:Did you do it?
Marc:What do you mean to do it?
Marc:I was born here.
Guest:Oh, I thought you were born.
Guest:Nevermind.
Guest:I thought you were more Canadian.
Guest:Sorry.
Marc:No.
Guest:Yeah, you go to like a theater down here and then they play a Neil Diamond video.
Guest:They're coming to America.
Guest:Are you serious?
Guest:It's so awesome.
Guest:Yeah, it's the best.
Guest:And I became a citizen on April Fool's Day of like 1993.
Guest:And then, of course, the big joke, the guy giving the.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Not really.
Guest:And then, you know, I had a hot dog and like it was the best.
Guest:It was the best.
Marc:That's what they did.
Marc:They had a hot dog cart there.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:For everyone to have a hot dog.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And a Coke.
Marc:Yeah, and a Coke.
Guest:Hell yeah.
Guest:Really?
Guest:You're not making that up?
Guest:No, I swear to God, yeah.
Marc:So you're born there.
Marc:When do your parents, when does everyone move down here?
Guest:So 1980, we get into a van and drive to the US.
Guest:We drive to California, to the San Fernando Valley.
Guest:And my dad loved it here because he came and visited before and just saw the beach and like hot chicks.
Guest:Like everybody's blonde and hot.
Guest:And he was like, this is where I need to be.
Guest:This is where it all is.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:and now and we just we stuck around in the San Fernando Valley and then you know those were your father's priorities married with a child yeah interesting I know isn't that weird gosh that's so weird Mark how did you pick up on that one out about it too like we're going to San Fernando Valley because there's hot chicks there I know so yeah and what did he settle into as a business
Guest:He was a very successful business owner.
Guest:He fixed forklifts in Canada, and he started his own company in the U.S.
Guest:here, which was amazing.
Guest:Fixing forklifts?
Guest:He would repair them, sell them, buy them used, fix them up, and sell them, yeah.
Guest:So specific.
Guest:I know, isn't that?
Guest:I don't know how he does.
Guest:Did your mom work?
Guest:She did.
Guest:She did real estate with my stepfather later on.
Guest:And, and yeah, yeah.
Guest:They're both still around?
Guest:No, they're both dead.
Guest:My mom and my stepdad, they both died within like a year of each other.
Marc:And your dad too?
Guest:He's, he's around.
Marc:Oh yeah?
Guest:He's here.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He's, he's still around.
Marc:Is he around more now?
Marc:You got a kid?
Marc:No.
Marc:My dad's the same way with my brother's kids.
Marc:My brother's sort of like, nah, he doesn't come around.
Marc:I don't need him around.
Marc:It's okay.
Marc:If he doesn't want to come, I'm good.
Guest:That's the thing.
Guest:It's kind of a blessing.
Guest:I'm like, nah, it's fine.
Marc:Yeah, it depends on how bad your relationship is with him or what do you want to open up that can of worms for, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So your dad, though, I know you made fun of it on Maren.
Guest:I love that he lived in a van in front of your house.
Marc:That's not real.
Marc:I mean, thank God that's not real.
Guest:It's metaphorically somewhere.
Marc:Sure it is, yeah.
Marc:He's always there in the van in my mind.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:No, I, I, I'm okay with him.
Marc:You know, he does take some hits and I get, I, I know that my, I'm getting older or maybe I'm, uh, something like I'm on, on the new special.
Marc:I took a shot at him, but you know, it was, it was, I thought it was pretty broad.
Marc:You know, I, the, the joke was, do you remember the day you realized your father was an asshole?
I,
Guest:asshole father joke, too.
Guest:You do?
Marc:Oh, man.
Marc:God damn it.
Marc:Sorry, yes, go ahead.
Marc:It's not the same, right?
Marc:No.
Marc:Okay, good.
Marc:But, you know, it gets a laugh, and then I kind of flesh it out.
Marc:But he's taken a lot of hits over the years.
Marc:Like, I've definitely, you know, I won that one.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Now, as long as I outlive him, I win.
Marc:But if something fucking happens to me, and I go down, and he's still alive, then fuck him.
Marc:He fucking wins the big game.
Marc:But, like, I felt a little bad.
Marc:is what I'm saying like that's a nice it's a good sign that like I knew it was it was kind of lighthearted that as as they go yeah in in relation to what I've done in the past to him on stage yeah but I still I was sort of like I think he's had enough yeah let him up you know
Guest:See, I actually had more anger towards my mom for so many years, and I don't know how to write about it entirely.
Guest:Some of it's in my special, and I talk about her, but I'm going to get there.
Guest:I think the next hour will be more about that.
Guest:She was mentally ill.
Guest:My mom was borderline, borderline personality disorder.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:Borderline coming back around.
Guest:Oh.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Terrible.
Guest:And then and then became schizophrenic later.
Guest:And the crazy part is that because my parents divorced, my mother got custody of me because back in the day, like it's just automatic.
Guest:And I was raised by her, like just her and I alone in this apartment in the valley.
Guest:And so like the first 17 years of my life, I mean, she got remarried when I was 12.
Guest:But I guess the first whatever 12 years, I just thought everybody lived in this crazy upside down land that I grew up in.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:She found in man.
Guest:Well, she was hot.
Marc:Well, no, borderlines are pretty sassy.
Guest:Yeah, they are.
Marc:Kind of crazy.
Guest:Yeah, I guess.
Guest:And she had a huge rack.
Guest:She was blonde.
Guest:She was beautiful and sassy.
Marc:Yeah, spicy.
Marc:Yeah, kind of like a live wire.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, and I think you've done a few of those.
Marc:I know one at least.
Marc:And then I talked to Pete Davidson in here and he's just come out with, he's borderline.
Marc:Oh, he is?
Marc:Yes, and he's talking about it and what he's doing to treat it.
Marc:You know, it's a tricky profile.
Guest:It is.
Guest:You have to be in aggressive therapy.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:He's doing it.
Marc:I'm glad.
Marc:It's a lot for them, a borderline, to cop to it.
Guest:That's like half the battle with them because they don't want it.
Guest:It's never them.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Nothing is ever them.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's the itching part.
Marc:So from 4 to 12, you're with her?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:In an apartment?
Meep, meep, meep.
Marc:But what are the behavioral... What was the most noticeable manifestation of it?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:So, like, there was a lot of absurd, weird rules.
Guest:Like, little stuff.
Guest:Like, you can't put lotion on your palms.
Guest:You have to put lotion on the back of your hands.
Guest:Like, just absurd.
Guest:Like, you can't eat sushi in the summertime because it's full of worms.
Guest:And then I remember, like, she would pick fights for...
Guest:with people everywhere we went.
Guest:Like if you go to a restaurant and someone sat her near too close to the bathroom or she thought it was like, that fucking bitch sat me near the toilet because she doesn't respect me.
Guest:And you're like, what is happening?
Guest:Why?
Marc:And she talked like that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And really like paranoia, a lot of paranoia.
Guest:Oh yeah.
Guest:And they're always blaming you.
Guest:Like you're always wrong for some reason.
Guest:Like even when you're a little kid, you're like, what are you talking about?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:It's not.
Marc:And black and white thinking.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You're in, you're out.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I love you.
Guest:I hate you.
Guest:So that's why standup is like, Ooh, that's my jam.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's home.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It doesn't feel good.
Marc:How's this going to go?
Yeah.
Guest:another night where i don't know if they're gonna like me yeah it's so alluring and i and unconsciously because my personal life is great like i'm unlucky that i have a good marriage i have a solid home life but i think the career i chose definitely unconsciously to fulfill that yeah cycle of like push pull
Marc:Oh, no, I used to do a joke like that.
Marc:What was it?
Marc:What I like to do on stage is to say, like, that's what I do.
Marc:I'll push you away just and pull you back in.
Marc:Push you away.
Marc:It's a little dynamic I call dad.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:So what was mom for you?
Marc:You know, I think that, like, that's the hidden horror.
Guest:yeah so you've been going after dad but i feel like mom is ground zero yeah that's the that's the scab if you pick that one yeah i'm living in it i'm living in that dad's manageable because you just fight with them yeah they can take the heat but moms are a little they they play dirty pool because i feel like they're they're your heart of darkness like your mother is like i know it now because i have a toddler he's two and it's hard not it's almost it's hard not to love him it's hard not to just be like you're the best thing that's ever i love
Guest:I love you so much.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:So when it's not that way, something's really fucked up.
Guest:Something's really fucked up because that boo-boo, that boy is my heart and my joy and like, fuck, I will do anything.
Guest:Like, I will die for that baby.
Guest:Like, I love him.
Marc:Yeah, and I don't know if everyone who listens to my show knows.
Marc:Your husband's Tom Segura.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:The funny man.
Marc:The best.
Marc:Two funny people.
Marc:I love him.
Marc:Yeah, he is funny.
Guest:He's the best.
Marc:I like him.
Guest:He's the best human, too.
Guest:I just like him a lot.
Marc:That's good.
Marc:You're married to him.
Marc:Fuck him.
Marc:How's he taking to fatherhood?
Guest:He's wanted a child since we first got together and it's always been me.
Marc:How long has it been?
Guest:We've been together for like 12 years.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But I've always been terrified of becoming a parent because of my upbringing and my background.
Guest:So I was like, uh-uh, I want to get my mind right.
Guest:I want therapy to make sure that I'm not going to pass on this nuttiness to my kid.
Marc:When did you start doing that though?
Guest:Like 10 years ago.
Marc:You've been therapizing for 10 years steady.
Guest:Hell yeah.
Marc:In preparation to have a child.
Marc:Not just that.
Marc:Basically.
Marc:I like that because that's why I don't have any.
Marc:I mean, I'm 54 and I'm like, I'm not passing it down.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's because that's the fear.
Guest:And I think a lot of people that rightly, like that's a good decision.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I don't, I don't have, I'm not having a problem with it.
Marc:I know I'm selfish and panicky.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And like, it's like, I can't even imagine that.
Marc:having a child.
Marc:It never occurred to me.
Marc:Growing up, people were like, you want a family?
Marc:I'm like, no.
Marc:I just want to feel okay.
Guest:I just want to be a child once in my life.
Guest:I just want to feel like it's going to be okay for a minute.
Guest:Is this your inside all the time?
Marc:Kind of.
Marc:Oh God, I got to do that.
Marc:Oh, and then I got to, oh God.
Guest:Are you still there?
Guest:Is it that high?
Marc:No.
Guest:The anxiety?
Marc:I don't know if it's age or what, but some things have just relaxed a little bit naturally.
Marc:I don't know what that is.
Marc:I had a conversation last night with a guy about self-care.
Guest:That's the phrase my shrink uses, yes.
Marc:No, he used to be a shrink, this guy.
Marc:Self-care.
Guest:I've learned about that.
Marc:Focusing on self-care as opposed to whatever the other thing is.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And that's in relationships, too.
Marc:But you've been with Tom for 12 years, so that's a long time.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But you still had time before that to make a mess.
Yeah.
Guest:I did, yeah.
Guest:I wasn't promiscuous.
Guest:It didn't go that way for me, my self-destructiveness.
Guest:By the time I was 14, I was freaked the fuck out because my mom was nutty and I was suicidal and a punker and I was out.
Guest:I was already out running the streets by 13.
Marc:Drugs, though?
Marc:No drugs?
Guest:A little, like dabbling, like social, like acid.
Marc:Yeah, you never got so fucked up.
Guest:No.
Marc:So you're 14 and you're punk rock?
Guest:I'm all freaked out.
Guest:I'm all angry.
Marc:You yelling at your mom?
Guest:Yelling at mom, storming out, taking the bus down to Hollywood, getting into nightclubs on a fake ID.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:What year is this?
Marc:How old are you?
Marc:You don't have to tell me.
Guest:Well, I'm 41 now, so this is like 90, 91.
Marc:What's going on in Hollywood then?
Guest:Oh, so great.
Guest:It was so cool, man.
Marc:What's hip?
Marc:What's hip?
Guest:Okay, so there was this club called The Probe on Highland, and this is when Hollywood was still really dicey and shitty, and you come over the hill, you pay some homeless guy to watch your car for you so it didn't get broken into, you drink in your car as it was parked in this lot.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And there is a club called Helter Skelter.
Guest:I was goth and punk and all that.
Guest:And this is before Hot Topic was around.
Guest:So if you were goth, it was a full-time job.
Guest:You'd go down to Aardvark's on Melrose.
Guest:You'd find some smelly old velvet cloak or dress, modify it, cut the sleeves off, put your fishnet stockings on your arms.
Guest:It was a full-time gig.
Guest:And Halloween makeup, I'd have to go to the Halloween store and buy my makeup, the white makeup and everything once a year.
Marc:Day stuff?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, it's a full-time job.
Guest:And so there was that.
Guest:There were bands.
Marc:Were these underage clubs?
Guest:It was 18 and over.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Guest:But I went downtown and you get a fake ID and you give some guy $75 and he comes back with some bullshit looking thing.
Guest:But they didn't give a shit back then.
Marc:It worked?
Guest:Hell yeah, it worked.
Marc:You went downtown to get your fake ID?
Guest:Yeah, my boyfriend at the time did.
Guest:You give him a picture and 75 bucks down on Chevy Chase or whatever.
Guest:And then the dude comes back-
Guest:Oh, no, no, Chevy.
Guest:No, what am I thinking of?
Guest:Whatever the fucking street is in downtown LA.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Guest:And then the guy comes back and then, you know, it's like a shitty handwritten, like it's not even real.
Guest:But they let me in.
Marc:And they did.
Marc:And they did.
Marc:When you became a citizen, were you dressed in goth?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:I may have to give you the photo, my passport photo.
Guest:It's like short on, the Vidal Sassoon cut, like short on one side, long on the other, like a half bob.
Marc:Happy New American.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like, you know, orange.
Guest:Just, I had a Mohawk, too.
Guest:Angry.
Marc:You had Mohawks, too?
Guest:I did.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:I lost my mind.
Marc:So you're just running around in a car?
Guest:Running around, you know, being angry.
Marc:Not drinking, though, too much.
Guest:I drank.
Guest:I drank.
Guest:I smoked cigarettes.
Guest:I smoked pot.
Guest:I did a little LSD.
Guest:Went to Lollapalooza.
Guest:Like, you know, whatevs.
Marc:When you were a teenager?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:What was it, like the first Lollapalooza?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:With fucking Suzy and the Banshees, Jane's Addiction, Ice Teas Band, Body Count.
Marc:Yeah, Jane's Addiction, right.
Guest:Dude, it was so good.
Guest:And I freaked out and I lost my mind because I took two hits of acid instead of one and I had to leave the show early, whatever.
Marc:Yeah, what, did someone take you?
Guest:Yeah, some dude, some other person on acid drove us home.
Guest:That's so fucking stupid.
Marc:That's so stupid.
Marc:That's so stupid.
Marc:What was the nature of the freak out?
Marc:What was happening?
Marc:Why did you have to leave?
Guest:Yeah, okay, so I took two hits instead of one and then Susie came on, Cascades, and I lost my mind.
Guest:I had a retainer in because I was only 14.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I threw my retainer across Irvine Meadows.
Guest:And I tried to take my velvet dress off and I had gloves on.
Guest:And my friends were like, you can't get naked at Irvine Meadows.
Guest:And my stepsister was with me and escorted me out.
Guest:And then we drove home.
Guest:How did my parents not know I was frying on acid?
Guest:Do you ever think about that?
Marc:Because that goes on a while, right?
Marc:So you got home to Van Nuys and yeah, you probably had a few hours still to go.
Guest:I was out of my mind until like five in the morning.
Guest:You know, you're just laying on your back just like, when's this going to end?
Marc:Yeah, I did mescaline once when I was in, I come back from college and I thought I was like hip and I went to some party with the local punks in Albuquerque and some guy gave me a hit of mescaline and I waited like two hours and nothing happened.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Marc:I went home.
Marc:And I got in the bed that I grew up in.
Marc:I was saying to my parents.
Marc:And then it was just sort of like kaleidoscope.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:The ceiling just twists into a kaleidoscope of colors.
Marc:And I'm like, and I wasn't in no way.
Marc:Like, that should have been entertaining.
Marc:But I was like, oh, no.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's happening now.
Marc:And then I was like, I'm just going to tell my parents, someone put something in a soda and go to the emergency room.
Marc:And I was like, don't do it.
Marc:Just see what's on television.
Marc:It was a black and white television and there was nothing on.
Marc:There was no cable.
Marc:But it was the beginning of CNN.
Marc:So they just ran the same 10 minutes of stories over and over again in a loop all night.
Marc:So I just sat there, focused on that.
Marc:When I closed my eyes, I'd be like, I don't know where I am.
Marc:Oh, and I opened my eyes.
Marc:I'm like, okay, I'm in my room.
Marc:I couldn't close my eyes because I'd get lost.
Guest:Well, you think about- I made it through.
Guest:Yeah, you do.
Guest:You just focus on something, right?
Guest:You have to focus on television or something.
Guest:But what could they do for you at the hospital?
Guest:Because my stepsister was with me that night when I was frying too hot.
Marc:You want someone to take care of you.
Marc:You don't know how.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, it's not like, what would they do?
Marc:They'd be like, well, he seems to be on drugs.
Marc:Yeah.
Yeah.
Guest:Lay down.
Marc:Yeah, keep an eye on it.
Marc:Here's an IV.
Marc:Stay hydrated.
Guest:Yeah, like, you probably freak out even harder at the ER.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:I don't know what was going on.
Marc:I can't, like, it's... I did freak out, but I'm surprised I didn't, you know, baby.
Guest:I didn't kind of like, help me.
Marc:I'm very proud of myself.
Marc:And you were alone.
Marc:I made it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:All because of that night.
Marc:All the lessons that were learned.
Marc:So you go home and you freak out.
Marc:But were you a regular acid person?
Guest:No, a few times here and there.
Guest:It wasn't drugs.
Marc:You don't like to always control yourself.
Guest:Yes, I'm very controlled.
Guest:And so I eventually got out of my parents' house and I went to school in San Francisco at the University of San Francisco.
Guest:I barely got into college.
Guest:I'd fucking flunked out of public school, basically, and then I went to this all-girls Catholic school.
Guest:It straightened me out entirely.
Guest:People hate Catholic school, but it saved my life.
Guest:The nun saved my life.
Marc:Got you a little discipline?
Guest:A lot of discipline, a lot of structure, uniform, so there's no like, I'm goth, I'm punk, what are you?
Guest:There's no boys, so there was no boy drama.
Marc:And that was senior year?
Guest:No, this is freshman year.
Guest:Halfway through my freshman year of high school.
Marc:Oh, you fucked up and so you went to Catholic school for the whole rest of it?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:No shit.
Guest:And it was awesome.
Guest:And I love it.
Guest:And I still donate money to that school to this day.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Saved your life?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Yeah, 100%.
Guest:I love the nuns.
Guest:Love them.
Marc:Well, yeah, but you were living with a woman who was out of her mind.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So even if you weren't religious, you're like, that's stable.
Guest:It is so stable.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:And it was like, I knew what to expect.
Marc:I knew- Yeah, there's no surprises.
Guest:Who are you today, Sister Antonia?
Guest:The same person you were yesterday.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Not great, but not horrible.
Guest:No, I know what to expect.
Guest:And we're all wearing the same thing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, it was great.
Guest:Yeah, the consistency.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Oh, so good.
Guest:And then, yeah, college, and then I have philosophy.
Marc:San Francisco, that's good, though.
Marc:Had you been up there before you went to college?
Guest:Like once or twice.
Marc:Did you do the whole four years up there?
Guest:I did, yeah.
Marc:Oh, that's fun.
Marc:That's a good city, weird-ass city.
Guest:And especially in the 90s when it was like gay dudes on tricycle or unicycles just butt-fucking in the streets.
Guest:Yeah, it was so great.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:It was the last of the awesome.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You'd smoke a joint on the fucking muni bus and nobody would say anything.
Marc:It was a wild place.
Marc:I lived there for a couple years.
Marc:I never quite figured it out.
Marc:But you always felt like... It definitely didn't feel like Catholic school.
Guest:No.
Marc:There was no structure.
Marc:No.
Marc:It was like, what is going on?
Marc:Every day in San Francisco, I'm like, who's in charge here?
Marc:What is happening?
Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, and there was a sense that you could be 30-something and still act like a 20-year-old.
Marc:That's full of them.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You'd see guys at coffee shops who are like, he just dropped out of college, and he just never left.
Guest:No, it's great.
Marc:Just right here.
Guest:It's great.
Guest:But I did do one year abroad.
Guest:I did the study abroad program, and I went to Oxford, and I studied philosophy there, and that was fucking rad.
Marc:So you got philosophy.
Marc:You got it.
Marc:You can wrap your brain around it.
Guest:Yeah, I think.
Guest:I mean, I can write papers about it.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I was never good at writing papers.
Marc:What I would write is like 10, 15 pages of opening paragraphs.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Your work never evolved.
Marc:Which is sort of like, I'd be like, this is what I'm going to set out to do.
Marc:Oh, and this.
Marc:And I'm going to set out to do this as well.
Guest:All the intentions are there.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:But never flesh anything out.
Marc:Just one after the other.
Guest:That's fascinating.
Marc:It's terrifying, the idea.
Marc:Like, if I had to write a paper, I would lose my mind.
Marc:right it's a very involved focused you have to see it through you have to i know i like that see i like that i like it but i can never wrap i just could not get a handle on simple structure like there's your thesis support it close it up wrap it up yeah well you're you're free form dude i know you're like actually that's i think i am my brain no boundaries yeah you like to go in and out yeah dip in and go there kind of cop out sort of like well i'm doing something new with the term picture
Marc:It's a whole new approach.
Marc:It's kind of poetry, kind of riffing.
Guest:You're so funny.
Guest:Didn't you do special ones with no set list?
Marc:Did I hear you talking about that once?
Marc:I brought a bunch of papers up there.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:I did about an hour and a half on Netflix a couple specials ago.
Oh, my God.
Marc:We're just going to wing it a little bit.
Guest:How did it feel?
Guest:But that's your thing, right?
Marc:Not anymore.
Marc:The last two specials have been tight.
Guest:Tighten that shit up.
Marc:I did.
Marc:It was very rewarding.
Guest:See, I'm a perfectionist.
Guest:So the perfectionist in me was like, let's get this shit tight.
Guest:I want every fucking joke to be a zinger.
Guest:I want it.
Guest:Bang, bang, bang, motherfucker.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:I'm very like...
Guest:I think especially as a female comic, I always felt that pressure of, like, you've only got one shot.
Guest:Like, the club's not going to ask me back to headline if I suck and I'm the woman.
Guest:And, you know, female comics suck.
Guest:Like, I can't do that for the rest of my fucking gender.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know, I never got that about clubs.
Marc:I was sort of like, they're there to support whatever I do.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Yeah, and sell alcohol.
Marc:I never built a big thing on the road before.
Marc:I'd go out a few times a year, but it was always like the weeks weren't great.
Marc:I mean, I did my time out there, but I never built a following.
Marc:I always alienate claw bones.
Guest:Yeah, I don't see.
Guest:I felt a sense of like, this is it.
Guest:I have to do or die.
Guest:And if I'm not successful at this, what am I going to do, dude?
Marc:Yeah, well, I didn't have any of those answers.
Marc:Yeah, somehow or another.
Marc:If you're a real comic, yeah, it gets in your head like that.
Marc:It's like, there's no other options than this.
Guest:Who's going to hire me?
Guest:I've talked about taking a dump on podcasts for the last seven years.
Guest:What?
Marc:Also, what skill set do we have come after a few years?
Marc:But also at the beginning when you choose to do comedy and you're all in you don't think like there's another job anyways Like I never I never thought like, you know, what was the other job?
Marc:I don't know what the other job was restaurant work.
Marc:Maybe yeah, that's all I came up with usually I could do some restaurant work So wait, so you go so you do the philosophy.
Guest:Yeah
Marc:And you graduate.
Guest:I do.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I take the five year plan in the meantime.
Guest:I did five years.
Guest:Why leave?
Guest:I never understand people.
Marc:Take it easy on that last one.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I never get why people are like, I can't wait to graduate.
Guest:Like, why?
Guest:Real life sucks.
Guest:Like, you're in the ivory tower of academia.
Guest:It's awesome here.
Marc:What philosophers were you studying, though?
Marc:What would you focus on?
Guest:Let's talk about it.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:I love it.
Guest:And I still love it to this day.
Guest:I love the existentialists.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I like Sartre.
Guest:I like Camus.
Guest:I like Heidegger.
Marc:Camus is nice because he's a fiction writer.
Marc:I can wrap my brain around that.
Marc:But like being a nothingness, which I have up there, which was taught in an existentialism class that I took.
Marc:We only made it through like 25 pages.
Marc:And I cannot.
Marc:It's too dense.
Marc:And it annoys me.
Marc:Did I throw it away?
Marc:Let me say...
Marc:I wonder if I threw it away.
Marc:That was so mad.
Guest:Because if you want to read Sartre, in my opinion, there's a great little book.
Guest:No exit?
Guest:No, not even that one.
Guest:There's a book called Existentialism and Human Emotions.
Guest:It's like a tiny little booklet.
Guest:And that one really summarizes his philosophy way better than being a nothingness.
Guest:That's too much, dude.
Guest:I don't mess with that.
Marc:So, all right.
Marc:So you do, you do the, you do the studying, you do all right in college?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was a terrible student in high school and then I got like straight A's in college.
Guest:So I went, oh, you know what?
Guest:I think I'm, I think I can, I'm like smart.
Guest:And I think that I just didn't, I was not supported.
Marc:Yeah, I did that.
Marc:I did that too.
Marc:The last year of like high school, I snapped into it.
Guest:right and then you're like oh i can do this and that's when i got like a bit of self-esteem like oh i think i'm okay did you have fun in college though i you know it's funny how you talk about like i'm that i never have fun like i'm still not sure that i know how to relax enough in life honestly yeah like yeah just have fun like some there yeah sometimes but like what are we expecting i don't know i had this conversation with this guy last night about the difference between relief and and happiness
Marc:okay like you know that it's like feeling you know just being relieved that's not having a good time that's oh oh because that's what yeah right i generally there yeah there are moments where i don't feel that that anxiousness and it's sort of like oh this is good like everything's okay yeah i'm not waiting for the other shoe to drop yeah yeah that's not joy oh yeah i'm sorry
Guest:What's joy then?
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:It's uncomfortable and it's weird to look at.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Look at it.
Marc:I'm sure you see it in your kid.
Guest:I do.
Guest:I do.
Guest:I see.
Guest:And that's the thing too.
Guest:Okay, so that's the hard thing.
Guest:And I kind of try to go there in my special.
Guest:Is that...
Guest:Parenthood, the hard part about it is, yeah, it's the diapers and all the sitcom-y stuff that people talk about.
Guest:But the truth is, the hard part is you realize what you didn't get as a kid, and that's the thing.
Guest:Every day, you're like, what?
Guest:What?
Guest:how could they do that to me yeah or like i didn't oh that's interesting because he's pure joy and he's he doesn't hate himself there's no self-loathing yeah there's no um weird depressive stuff happening here like you're born a way a certain way and then life kind of does what it does and yeah you know i'm trying to foster the good stuff yeah people start saying you can't do stuff and it beats you down
Guest:Isn't that crazy?
Guest:That's crazy.
Marc:First time you just said no.
Guest:No.
Guest:Why would grown up even say that shit to you?
Guest:I remember my mother was like.
Guest:But you got to say no to him, right?
Guest:I mean, I don't know.
Guest:No within boundaries.
Guest:Yeah, like don't touch the stove.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You're going to hurt yourself.
Guest:You want to keep them safe.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:But not no to like an ambition or an inclination or like I want to study dance.
Guest:All right, let's go.
Guest:Let's go, Billy Elliot.
Guest:Like I'll put you in ballet tomorrow.
Guest:I'm not going to shame you on that.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Right?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But that's the tricky part.
Guest:And I think in our culture too, women are supposed to just be automatically great at motherhood.
Guest:And there's a lot of fetishizing.
Guest:Fetishizing?
Guest:Shishizing?
Marc:Fetishizing.
Marc:You can pronounce it either way here.
Yeah.
Guest:um motherhood and pregnancy like every time a Kardashian gets pregnant it's like baby bliss are we are we in like no pregnancy is really hard on you physically emotionally spiritually yeah and motherhood too there's ambivalence some days there's some days you're great at it and some days you're like nah I can't I just can't well yeah why would you be a different person than you always were
Guest:But that's the fuckery of it is that a lot of women, you're led to believe that once you have a baby, it's like this powder, this mist comes over you.
Guest:And now I'm a mom and I'm not.
Guest:How do you reconcile your past self with this new identity?
Marc:Yeah, with this amazing maternal perfect woman.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:And then the perfectionism.
Marc:Who knew this was inside me?
Marc:Thank God.
Guest:Yeah, and then you've got a lot of type A women who were great at careers, and now they're focusing that kind of energy to raising children.
Guest:And it's like, oh, my God, dude.
Guest:You know, like I was on the playground, and I watch other moms, and there are the moms who are really good at momming and who narrate everything their kid's doing.
Guest:They're just like, Cooper, put your foot up there.
Guest:Good, Cooper, Cooper, Cooper.
Guest:Here's a snack, Cooper.
Guest:Cooper's a snack.
Guest:And you're like, this kid to his mom who's three years old.
Guest:Cooper?
Guest:Cooper.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And Cooper went, I need space and yelled at his mom.
Guest:No, he didn't.
Guest:And I was like, look at you.
Guest:See how they know boundaries early?
Guest:It took me like 10 years in therapy to tell my mom to fuck off.
Marc:And this kid figured it out.
Marc:Where did he learn that line?
Guest:I need space.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Back off, mom.
Guest:Back the fuck off.
Guest:I was like, wow.
Guest:Wow, right?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:It took me a long time to learn to say that.
Marc:So as annoying as that woman was, she taught him that too.
Guest:Yeah, right.
Marc:Look, when mommy's annoying, just be sure you take the space you need.
Guest:Yeah, take the space.
Guest:Cooper, take the space.
Guest:You want a snack?
Marc:I need space.
Marc:Yeah, I need space.
Marc:Yeah, you're devouring my fucking sense of self.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Back off.
Marc:You're annihilating me.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:I wish I could have done that.
Marc:Me, too.
Marc:I did, though.
Marc:We both did.
Marc:We both, like, you know, eventually you're like, fuck you.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:One way or the other.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:If you don't fight that fight, I don't know what would have happened.
Marc:I don't know what would happen.
Guest:Being a gutter.
Marc:Something, right?
Marc:I really think that, just thinking of it right now, that if you have parents that are consuming or selfish or annihilating one way or the other, if you don't fight back for yourself, you may not know that's what you're doing, but you're like, I'm me, fuck you.
Marc:I don't know what happens to you.
Marc:Even if you fight, you could end up fucked up.
Marc:But I mean, if you just give into it.
Marc:Oh, it's sad.
Guest:It is fucking sad.
Marc:It's sad.
Marc:We're okay.
Marc:We're okay.
Marc:Don't go there.
Marc:Everything's great.
Marc:So when did you decide to start doing the stand-up?
Guest:So I graduated and then I had four jobs, sorry, 22 jobs in the span of four years where I either got fired or I quit.
Guest:22?
Guest:22 jobs.
Guest:I made a list one day.
Guest:Oh my God.
Guest:I was bad at everything.
Marc:But on purpose?
Marc:You disengaged or really bad?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I just didn't see the fucking point.
Marc:Like what jobs?
Guest:I worked in television because I did road rules.
Guest:I forgot to mention that.
Guest:So a year in college, I took a semester off to do road rules, that reality show from the 90s where they put kids in.
Guest:It's like the red-haired stepchild with the real world.
Guest:You were in that?
Guest:Yeah, season six, Australia.
Guest:how'd you get that i went to an open casting call in a restaurant like in san francisco yeah i saw a flyer uh-huh and i was like oh that sounds like fun i want to get out of because i was living like in a tiny did you know the show um vaguely yeah yeah enough yeah i knew the real world i actually wanted to be on the real world i was like sitting on my ass for five months smoking cigarettes that sounds awesome yeah in another city sure
Marc:Yeah, in a nice place.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:With a bunch of idiots.
Guest:Gets to be on MTV.
Guest:There's nowhere cooler.
Marc:Fighting with people.
Guest:Oh, that's that part.
Guest:It wasn't totally that bad by the time when I was on it.
Guest:It was way more innocent.
Marc:All right, so you get cast on Road Rules?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I take a semester off.
Guest:I go to Australia.
Guest:I jump out of airplanes.
Guest:I wrestle crocodiles, whatever wacky stuff.
Marc:That's exciting.
Guest:Super exciting.
Marc:Show business.
Guest:Yeah, and that's, I think, the beginning for me where I felt like, oh...
Guest:I got on the show just kind of being me and I don't know.
Marc:Is all that video on YouTube?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's so embarrassing.
Guest:I'm 21 and I think I'm like the coolest person ever.
Guest:I got a tramp stamp tattoo on the show that I regret to this day.
Guest:What is it?
Guest:It's a
Guest:fucking dumb dragon.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:It looks like the low and brow symbol.
Guest:It's terrible.
Guest:Do you have tattoos?
Guest:Did you ever do it?
Marc:I don't.
Guest:I'm not a tattoo person.
Marc:But you have one.
Guest:It's so stupid.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:It's weird.
Marc:I've dated people with tattoos and like eventually you don't notice.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:What's Tom say?
Guest:He doesn't care.
Guest:Here's the dragon.
Guest:Yeah, there it is.
Guest:Target practice or whatever.
Guest:He makes some cum joke.
Guest:I'm like, all right, that's cool, dude.
Guest:Yeah, so I do that stupid show.
Guest:Not stupid.
Guest:I'm actually kind of proud of it because it was in an era before reality TV got super whatever.
Marc:It was a good experience, right?
Marc:You wouldn't have gone to Australia.
Marc:You wouldn't have touched an alligator, a crocodile.
Guest:Yeah, it was awesome.
Marc:What, boy, were you in Sydney?
Marc:yeah we went everywhere Sydney oh so it's actually you're on the road that's the premise is that you're traveling you're in a Winnebago it's like the real world in a Winnebago oh my god I know good for you that's brave it's crazy and then and then you come back and I come back I graduate but that's not the semester you did at Oxford
Guest:No, before Road Rules, I did Oxford.
Guest:And I came back and I wanted to travel again.
Marc:How was that for you in London?
Marc:Or Oxford, England?
Marc:Oxford is in where?
Guest:Oxford's in like an hour and a half from London.
Marc:It's pretty, right?
Guest:High end.
Guest:Gorgeous.
Guest:And at the time, Radiohead had just started.
Guest:This is like the 90s.
Guest:And they lived in Oxford.
Guest:And so you'd be walking to class and you'd see the fucking dudes from Radiohead.
Guest:And I'd be like, oh my God.
Guest:They were known in England at the time, but they hadn't like...
Marc:Creep hadn't broke.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I remember being like, oh, my God, there's radio.
Guest:And that was cool.
Guest:And it was beautiful.
Marc:That's what you remember from Oxford?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Seeing Tom York and the fellas.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And sandwiches.
Guest:These great sandwiches.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:Chocolates are better there.
Guest:So much better.
Guest:Cigarettes are more expensive.
Marc:They kind of taste a little different, a little weird.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And you want to believe they're better.
Marc:But I don't know.
Marc:It never stuck.
Yeah.
Guest:I don't think they're better.
Marc:I don't think so.
Guest:The ketchup never tastes right in any other foreign country.
Guest:Yeah, man, I studied.
Guest:I went to pubs a lot.
Guest:I drank a lot.
Marc:I lost a lot of weight.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And then I came back.
Marc:You take clothes in the middle of the day for a couple hours, the pubs.
Marc:Right.
Guest:But they start drinking at like 11.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Which is, anyway, I learned how to drink there.
Guest:That was good.
Marc:Sounds like a good Oxford experience.
Yeah.
Guest:so you do road rules you go back you finish college yeah finish school i graduate and i'm a fucking loser man like i've got this degree that is totally you're on television yeah so i go work at mtv on a couple of shows like in la as a pa you came back home came back to los angeles and um at the time my mom was sick so i was like i should kind of be near my mom she had cancer this and that
Guest:And then I got a bunch of other jobs.
Guest:I became a paralegal, an immigration paralegal.
Guest:That was terrible.
Guest:I became a corporate paralegal.
Guest:I thought I went into law school for two weeks and dropped out.
Marc:You got into law school?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I got into law school.
Guest:I went for two whole weeks.
Guest:And then I was like, I can't.
Guest:I remember I was sitting in a criminal law class.
Wow.
Guest:And they were talking about murder.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I was like, I can't.
Guest:I can't do this.
Guest:That was it?
Guest:And that was it.
Guest:I dropped out.
Marc:When did your mom pass away?
Guest:2015.
Marc:Oh, so it lasted a while.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That's true.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was pregnant.
Guest:I was like six months, five months pregnant with my son.
Marc:But she'd been fighting cancer for that long?
Guest:Yeah, on and off.
Guest:She got sick, and then it went away, it came back.
Marc:And you had a relationship with her always?
Marc:Native.
Guest:So then about eight years before her death, I had to cut ties completely because she'd completely lost touch with reality and was a shut-in.
Guest:And she wouldn't send emails or use a telephone because she was convinced people were listening.
Guest:She would send me cryptic cards with fucking weird things in them.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And she diagnosed with schizophrenia or you don't know?
Guest:No, but I know having gone through her, she wouldn't go to a doctor for that.
Guest:Like she was a borderline.
Marc:So usually that the onset of that is younger.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:I think it was always, she was always not in touch with reality.
Guest:And then by the time the last eight years of her life, it had gotten pretty gnarly.
Guest:So sad.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was pretty intense.
Marc:She was taking care of her.
Guest:She had some people hired nurses and stuff that would keep an eye on her.
Marc:And her stepdad was gone?
Guest:Yeah, they split.
Guest:But I get calls from her caregivers every now and then, like, she won't take her meds.
Guest:I'm like, yeah, I know.
Marc:What about your half-brothers and sisters?
Guest:They're half-step.
Marc:Oh, they're steps?
Guest:Yeah, like from my stepdad's second marriage.
Guest:Oh, so your mom didn't have any more kids?
Guest:No.
Guest:Oh, my God, no, thankfully, no.
Marc:So, oh, wow.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So it was really just, you know, it was just you and her still.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's a fuck.
Guest:Wait until your folks die.
Guest:It's terrible.
Guest:And you have to go through all their stuff.
Guest:Oh, it's so bad.
Guest:It's so bad.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I know.
Guest:It's the worst, dude.
Guest:I just got to see how crazy she had gotten.
Guest:I didn't really know.
Guest:I didn't know until I went through her.
Guest:She kept printouts.
Guest:She would stalk my husband and I on the internet and print out interviews that my husband had given and highlight things that she found were whatever in her mind.
Guest:She would listen to our podcast and hear messages and write things down.
Guest:There was this one journal I found where she had
Guest:chronicled the dogs in the neighborhood that she had seen that day like brown dog 9 25 a.m whatever black and i was like what's happening here so bananas it was really weird yeah active active mind a lot going on oh there's a dog there's another dog i know what's going on i know
Marc:so weird yeah i was it's lunacy i'm still trying to kind of i mean i put it together a bit now yeah but you're still i'm still like what that what was that well it's sad because she probably she may have been able to been medicated properly if she could have gone you know what i mean like yeah yeah well i'm sorry you went through that all right it's over it's good so i'm good when did you that's the sound of fully processed emotions
Marc:Good.
Marc:Everything's... Yep.
Marc:Yep.
Marc:Moving on.
Guest:Anyways, what's up?
Guest:But no, I really... Fully processed grief.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:Yep.
Marc:What do you got to me?
Guest:But I really have done work.
Guest:I have seen a shrink.
Guest:No, no, yeah.
Guest:It's fucking been... Yeah.
Guest:I've been there and back.
Guest:I'm fine.
Marc:That's good.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Well, it's nice to have that.
Marc:So you cry and you move through the grief.
Marc:They hold the space for you.
Marc:You are able to do the deep work.
Guest:You know all the phrases.
Guest:Do you ever go to meetings?
Marc:Sure.
Guest:Oh, I haven't done those.
Guest:Like Al-Anons or whatever.
Marc:What would you go to?
Guest:Well, what is it?
Guest:Al-Anon, right?
Marc:Al-Anon's all right for, yeah, codependency.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:There's some of that I feel lingering.
Marc:Was she a substance user, your mother?
Guest:No.
Marc:But still, I think that when you have a mentally ill parent, it's not unlike being the child of an alcoholic.
Marc:Correct.
Marc:So, yeah.
Marc:So the issues are still the same.
Marc:This sort of like perpetual torture of reluctant caregiving and losing yourself in someone else's insanity.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:Being a parentified child, as they say.
Marc:Oh, I hadn't heard that one.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:That's good.
Marc:Yeah, no, I go to the AAs occasionally.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:Yeah, I've been doing that for a long time.
Marc:I know that helps.
Marc:Yeah, but holding the space, that's not an AA term.
Guest:That's a therapy term.
Marc:Yeah, I think it is a therapy term.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, because once you know that term, you're like, oh, I get it.
Marc:So you're going to hold the space so I can come unglued.
Marc:And I got to trust you with that because I'm paying you.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Not to hurt me after.
Guest:Yeah, I think, too, like I said, I talk about it a little bit in my special, but I don't know how to fully go there.
Guest:Maybe in the next hour I will.
Marc:Well, maybe it's not meant for comedy.
Guest:The dark shit?
Marc:The fully go there.
Marc:Maybe fully go there in a safer place.
Guest:That's true.
Guest:Maybe.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:Why not keep that stuff private?
Marc:It's okay to work through that stuff and then maybe do a couple jokes about it for you.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Guest:Well, because I think part of it for me, like...
Guest:In talking about it, it helps relieve the shame and the weirdness for me.
Marc:To be identified, to feel seen.
Guest:Yeah, and normal, and just normal.
Marc:No, I do the same thing.
Marc:I think we're similar comics in that.
Marc:But there were definitely times where I would work through shit on stage comedically, and I would not think I was doing it for therapy.
Marc:But in retrospect, I'm like, oh boy, I dragged some audiences through some garbage.
Guest:Oh, that's what you're saying, yes.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Like where it's just like that was not meant for comedy.
Guest:No.
Guest:And I don't believe in and I don't when people say comedy is my therapy.
Guest:I'm like, well, run.
Guest:Then don't fucking do comedy because comedy is comedy.
Guest:And people have hired babysitters and are paying for a fun fucking.
Marc:I don't like when people claim that that's what it is.
Marc:It's like, even if you're talking about yourself, even if you're complaining and that's your comedy, if you're like a person that, you know, your point of view is, you know, complaining, which is a fairly common comedic point of view.
Marc:It's not therapy.
Marc:We're writing jokes.
Marc:We're working this stuff out.
Marc:Don't diminish it like that.
Guest:No, people aren't laughing.
Guest:I'm doing something horribly wrong.
Marc:Well, you know, I've done a lot of that.
Guest:I've done that school of comedy.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But, you know, you got to kind of move through that.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, sometimes they don't laugh until they do.
Guest:Right.
Guest:That too.
Guest:You're right.
Yeah.
Marc:you know like i i don't know like i i didn't know at the time that you know my uh bitterness uh was not entertaining i did i didn't know that at the time that like people were laughing because they were uncomfortable oh shit oh okay that's great wow hey laughs a laugh yeah but they they were just relieved when you were done
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Man.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, I got past that.
Marc:Figured out the balance.
Guest:Yeah, you know, because I came up like road dog.
Guest:You know what I'm saying?
Guest:Where'd you start?
Guest:In LA?
Guest:I started in LA, but then I was like a road, like a hard road feature.
Guest:I'm talking like I featured up and down Florida.
Guest:I did all the fucking comedy connections with two X's in the title.
Guest:I did all the...
Guest:you know just going out as a feature so i was very lucky in that um april macy took me along as her feature act and so like i did her clubs her circuit or whatever for like a couple years she's a booker no she's a comic she's a comedian she yeah she's been around for a minute uh i feel bad i don't know her yeah she's all around and uh
Marc:so that that was cool and then i became a headliner and you know the rest and you went back to those quotes no no i did not oh my god no so you're doing all the like real rough go you know to feature yes and i got lucky one night not a bad featuring is not a bad birth into it you know not being the local opener yeah the feature is sort of a sweet spot at least you can build your act and you got a little bit of a buffer
Guest:Yeah, I liked it.
Guest:I liked featuring.
Guest:It's like perfect amount of time.
Guest:You can bomb.
Guest:Your name's not on the marquee.
Guest:Who cares?
Guest:So I'm a perfectionist, so I wanted to learn how to do stand-up the right way.
Guest:I don't wanna like half-ass it.
Guest:I don't wanna.
Marc:Yeah, and you were out there for how many years?
Guest:i remember now i'm 14 years now so wow five five featuring i think well no less i'm sorry i i was 32 when i started featuring where'd you do open mics and shit so i would drive an hour south from la i'd do a club called martini blues that no longer exists i would go out there twice a week and then i would do the bars i didn't want to touch the clubs until i was decent so i
Marc:But there wasn't quite, there wasn't really a mic scene with comics yet, right?
Marc:So there was... In L.A.?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Was there, there was?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And there's like, you know, bowling alleys.
Guest:I started my own room in Los Feliz that I would have my husband, my then just friend, Tom Segura, close out shows.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:Ryan Sickler and Matt Fultron, all these guys I'm still friends with.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And there was like the advent of the Bringer show, which is horrible.
Guest:The worst, the worst.
Guest:So there were those that you just kind of tolerated in L.A.
Mm-hmm.
Guest:I don't think I became a comic until I really started full time being like, I'm a fucking feature rock.
Guest:I'm going to go into debt.
Guest:I'm going to rack up some credit card debt.
Guest:I'm going to be a fucking feature rock, be a comedian.
Guest:And did you do TV?
Guest:Have you done a lot of TV?
Guest:Well, like those talking head shows, you know, like VH1.
Guest:Oh, you did?
Guest:So you were in the loop?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I did Chelsea Lately for a while.
Guest:I was a writer on that show for a minute and then I got fired.
Guest:And then that's when I really was like, oh, I should be a headliner now.
Guest:I think that's what I wanted.
Guest:I don't want to write jokes for some other blonde chick.
Guest:I wanted to be the blonde chick.
Guest:I never was going to do the writing thing for other people.
Guest:My ego can't take it.
Marc:I don't write like that.
Marc:The job of joke writing, I can't look at it that way.
Marc:No.
Marc:I mean, I have.
Marc:I've written scripts and shit, but I mean, I just was like, I'm going to write that guy jokes.
Marc:I can't do it.
Marc:I can barely write myself jokes.
Guest:I fucking hate it.
What?
Guest:right i have a discipline everything i have to do my thing to fill my act isn't that amazing i think about i mean i think about you and like your your success came from a medium that hadn't yet been invented you know i'm saying like back when you started did you ever imagine that i'd be talking i'd be desperately talking to people in my garage as a last-ditch effort at what i don't know and that would it would turn everything around no i didn't think about that no no it's crazy i
Marc:Yeah, it's crazy.
Marc:And I was just, but that's the spite of it because I found my success in this and it led to a TV show and all this, but I'm a comic.
Marc:So there was this whole area of this, when I started doing the podcast and I was building an audience, people would come to my shows and be like, we're here to support you.
Marc:I'm like, I don't need support.
Marc:I've been doing this since I was a, it's a show.
Marc:They weren't necessarily comedy people, but they're like, we like you and we just want to see if you can do this.
Marc:I'm like, this is what I always did.
Marc:So now that's the other reason why the specials are so tight.
Marc:It's sort of like, that's what I do.
Marc:There's still this part of my brain that's like, that's the job.
Marc:This is this other thing.
Guest:You know what's so interesting?
Guest:I saw you at Moon Tower.
Guest:You and I are both doing the same festival once.
Guest:This is like five years ago.
Marc:Was I mean to you?
Marc:No.
Guest:You're awesome.
Guest:And I came to see your theater show.
Guest:and i never forget this is before your mom's house had kind of taken off oh yeah so i was kind of it was starting to pick up but not really what the live wtf or me doing no you're doing stand up oh it's like the paramount or whatever i'm not sure the name but yeah it was some theater in austin and it was full and i remember you getting up there and you were like getting into a bit about pornography and i could tell it was really thoughtful and you'd really like you wanted to say something yeah and then in the audience the woman was this woman shouts
Guest:How's Boomer?
Guest:And you were like, Boomer's great, but you were so sweet that you obliged the request to hear about your cats.
Guest:And I remember thinking, oh, this must be the difference.
Guest:These are podcast fans, which it's a different breed than a stand-up fan.
Marc:Well, they know you.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So, you know, you got to, there's that weird balance there, you know, where like, that was like, I used to talk about that where, where people come up to me after shows and be like, did you get that thing fixed?
Marc:And you're like, what?
Marc:What?
Marc:The toilet.
Marc:Didn't you say you, I'm like, yeah, yeah.
Marc:Oh, good.
Marc:We were worried.
Marc:I'm like, what'd you think of the show?
Marc:It was good.
Marc:We just wanted to check, make sure.
Marc:Right.
Guest:But in a way, I prefer it.
Guest:Because I've had both.
Guest:People that just like sound and people that like your podcast.
Guest:I like it.
Marc:I don't mind.
Marc:It's just a matter of staying in it and realizing that the work that we do as comics is still... That's what we do.
Marc:The podcast is great and I'm glad people like it and the interviewing is great.
Marc:But now the pressure is on me to when I do a comedy special, I'm like, I want it to be the best it can be.
Marc:Because...
Marc:I think for both of us, that most people don't know us.
Marc:So anytime you put comedy out there, there's gonna be hundreds and maybe thousands of people going, I've never seen this guy before in my life.
Marc:Who's this guy?
Marc:Oh, he's got this other thing too?
Marc:Like that's most people.
Marc:And I gotta remember that.
Marc:Like I can't ever get cocky or anything.
Guest:No, and I think, and when you look at guys like Bill Burr or, you know, whoever, and you're like, oh, they're consistently so amazing.
Guest:And it's because they've never rested on their laurels of being, well, everyone knows me already.
Guest:I'm this famous guy.
Marc:And they love to work, it seems.
Marc:But now like even Tom, Tom had a good year last year because his special blew up out of nowhere, right?
Guest:It's been bananas.
Guest:And he just taped his third special in Denver and it's bananas.
Guest:And I can't wait for people to see it.
Guest:It's so funny.
Marc:And you've got your special out.
Marc:It's crazy, dude.
Marc:You guys are like a comedy couple.
Marc:Royalty somehow.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:What'd you call your special again?
Guest:Mother Inferior.
Marc:It's on?
Guest:It's on Netflix.
Guest:It's on by the time this drops.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Let's just say it's on now.
Guest:It's on now.
Marc:It's on right now.
Guest:Check it out.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Good talking to you.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Thanks for having me.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Thanks for coming.
Marc:Christina Pazitsky, go watch her special.
Marc:Go listen to her podcast.
Marc:Mother and Fury is a special.
Marc:Her podcast is That's Deep Bro, and her podcast with Tom Segura is your mom's house.
Marc:I'm lacking in guitars out here now.
Marc:Things are shifting.
Marc:I think I can find something.
Marc:Hold on.
Marc:I know you need it.
Marc:I would like to say, and this is a strat,
Marc:Not an SG, but I do need to say rest in peace, Malcolm Young.
Marc:He definitely made my life better.
Guest:Boomer lives!