Episode 849 - Pete Davidson
Guest:All right, let's do this.
Marc:How are you?
Marc:What the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fucking ears?
Marc:What the fuckadelics?
Marc:What the fuck nicks?
Marc:What's happening?
Marc:I'm Mark Marin.
Marc:This is my podcast.
Marc:So I'm excited to tell you that we're setting up some live events for the release of waiting for the punch words to live by from the WTF podcast.
Marc:All right, here we go.
Marc:New York City.
Marc:I will be at the Barnes & Noble at Union Square Tuesday evening, October 10th at 7 p.m.
Marc:That's the day the book comes out.
Marc:So come by, hear me and Brendan do our thing.
Marc:Get a signed copy of the book.
Marc:It'll be great.
Marc:Then San Francisco, come see us as part of Litquake.
Marc:We'll be at the new mission Alamo Drafthouse.
Marc:Same deal.
Marc:We'll talk.
Marc:We'll answer questions.
Marc:We'll sign books.
Marc:Go to litquake.org for tickets to that one.
Marc:And we'll be announcing other events soon.
Marc:Don't forget to pre-order your copy of the book, which now lets you enter the sweepstakes to win a Casper mattress or a luggage set from away.
Marc:Go to markmarinbook.com to pre-order and enter.
Marc:Also, the new cat mugs are in.
Marc:If you want to get a cat mug just like the ones I give to my guests, there's a new batch available from our mug guy, Brian Jones.
Marc:They're available now.
Marc:Go to brianrjones.com to get your mug.
Marc:A very fine gift idea as well.
Marc:You want a cat update?
Marc:I can do that.
Marc:Monkey is fine.
Marc:He's a little beat up.
Marc:I got to cut Buster's nails because Buster's beating up on Monkey and scabbing him up a bit.
Marc:The old guy's taking some hits, don't really know what to do about it.
Marc:I squirt the little fucker with the water, but now he's taken to that.
Marc:So there comes a point.
Marc:where you have very little power over the insanity of a crazy cat.
Marc:LaFonda's fine.
Marc:He doesn't fuck with LaFonda, because LaFonda's a tough little fucker.
Marc:The outdoor guys are fine.
Marc:Big Head seems to be coming around.
Marc:I got no validation.
Marc:I think I brought it up to you people once before.
Marc:He's still got his balls and his head is enormous.
Marc:Are those connected somehow?
Marc:Sarah the Painter seems to think so.
Marc:I'll believe her, but I'd like to know more.
Marc:If you want to reach out, let it be about the existence of balls on cats and their relation to the jowls of cats who want to fuck.
Marc:Angry too?
Marc:He's fine.
Marc:He's out front.
Marc:I see him occasionally.
Marc:So that's what's happening.
Marc:Sometimes these days where I got to talk, I don't always know what to say, but I did get an interesting email.
Marc:Subject line, Harry Dean Stanton, did he actually reveal more than you thought?
Marc:I do not publicly express my feelings, as I've said, about my interviews anymore.
Marc:We reposted that Harry Dean Stanton with the original intro, and that was one of the last times I really did that in terms of reflecting on the conversation.
Marc:And this guy just said, hello, Mark, I'm a clinical psychologist and new to your podcast, and I listened with interest to your interview with Harry Dean Stanton.
Marc:A great loss.
Marc:Maybe I'm missing the point, and it was a journalistic device, but I thought you might have got a lot more out of Harry Dean Stanton than you thought.
Marc:I think he told you what his underlying pain was.
Marc:He told you that he always thought his mom loved his brother more than him.
Marc:You can imagine what that would be like for a person that your mom didn't love you.
Marc:He then told you that he wasn't sure whether his mom had ever seen any of his films.
Marc:You can imagine what that is like for a successful actor and son.
Marc:And he also told you about the broken heart, which he mended and sent back to his mom towards the end of her life.
Marc:Was he being metaphorical?
Marc:Either way, a symbolic gesture.
Marc:Anyway, get in touch if you would like to explore this further.
Marc:Best wishes and keep up the good work.
Marc:I don't consider myself a psychiatrist or a therapist or even a journalist, but sometimes I can't put everything together when I'm sitting there listening to it, when I'm sitting there in the moment, in the present, talking and thinking and engaging.
Marc:Not until afterwards can I do that.
Marc:And then a lot of times I don't listen to these things afterwards.
Marc:I don't listen to the conversations.
Marc:Brendan listens to them because he's the one that puts the show together.
Marc:But after I have them, I don't.
Marc:So that was encouraging and nice to hear that professional in the mental health business or a professional at somebody making connections, which I do in the present, but he was hard for me, made those connections.
Marc:So I don't know.
Marc:I'm not tooting my own horn.
Marc:I wasn't there to excavate.
Marc:You know, Harry Dean's, you know, psyche was just there to have a conversation, which I as I've said, I was a little tricky for me.
Marc:But it was nice that that was put into perspective and context.
Marc:And now and now I feel better about it.
Marc:That's a good psychologist.
Marc:I should get in touch with that guy to see on a regular basis.
Marc:I wonder what city he's in because he just made me feel okay about what I do and my insecurities and maybe I shouldn't have them in relation to that, which I don't occasionally.
Marc:I'll tell you though, man, without the nicotine, without the caffeine and the coffee form, without, you know,
Marc:I am a little raw.
Marc:Did I mention that I have Pete Davidson on the show today?
Marc:What a great guy.
Marc:What a great kid.
Marc:Can I say that?
Marc:Great kid, that Pete Davidson.
Marc:I can say that without being condescending.
Marc:Compared to me, he's a kid.
Marc:That's a hell of a talk we had.
Marc:It's coming up here in a second.
Marc:Oh, there's another thing.
Marc:A while back, it must be years ago already, I had one of my favorite illustrators on, Drew Friedman.
Marc:He is a, I would call him a satirist.
Marc:He's done several books.
Marc:And he's done amazing portraits of people.
Marc:They're very disturbing and compelling.
Marc:He's done a series of old Jewish comics books.
Marc:He's done, Drew's got a lot of books out.
Marc:But nonetheless, he did that portrait of me.
Marc:And a while back.
Marc:And that in and of itself was an honor.
Marc:But he has put the portrait of me in his new book.
Marc:called Chosen People.
Marc:Drew Friedman's Chosen People.
Marc:I'm in the company of Frank Zappa, Howlin' Wolf, Muddy Waters, S. Clay Wilson, Jeff Ross, comic artist Chris Ware, Oliver Stone, Barbara Streisand.
Marc:Who else is in here?
Marc:So many.
Marc:Pepitones in here.
Marc:Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder.
Marc:Elaine May.
Marc:Groucho Marx.
Marc:These are, I love the, I love, I love his portraits.
Marc:Ernie Kovacs.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:Anyway, Kimmel's in here too.
Marc:A lot of old comics, a lot of interesting choices.
Marc:I'll tell you that.
Marc:But, um...
Marc:Thrilled and honored to be a part of the collection.
Marc:Just telling you.
Marc:He's got a picture of his dad in there.
Marc:The brilliant dark writer, Bruce J. Friedman.
Marc:So, anyways, not a paid for plug, but I just wanted to put it out there that I am definitely honored to be part of that collection.
Marc:It's one thing meeting your heroes.
Marc:It's another thing to be drawn by one of your heroes.
Marc:And then yet another thing to be put in his book.
Marc:Right?
Marc:That's right.
Marc:Pete Davidson got pretty real with me here, and I really love talking to him.
Marc:He's a sweet kid.
Marc:Can I say that?
Marc:It's not an insult, Pete.
Marc:You're a good kid.
Marc:I like you.
Marc:You're a good kid.
Marc:He's a grown man.
Marc:But he is part of the 43rd season of Saturday Night Live, which premieres September 30th on NBC with host Ryan Gosling and musical guest Jay-Z.
Marc:And this is me talking to Pete Davidson in the garage here.
Thank you.
Marc:I'm always amazed when people my age still smoke.
Marc:God bless them.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:There's no way after a certain point with cigarettes where you don't feel like, this is just killing me.
Marc:No, yeah.
Guest:Absolutely.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Usually what I'm at, like at night when you're watching TV and you're laying on your back and you're like wheezing.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And then for some reason it doesn't go away unless you smoke another cigarette.
Guest:Oh, God.
Marc:So are you going back and forth on the vape to the thing?
Guest:I quit cigs for like three months and then like I had one.
Marc:With nothing, though?
Marc:You quit with nothing?
Guest:I'm doing the vape.
Marc:Oh, you're doing the vape.
Marc:So you weren't off the nicotine.
Guest:No, I wasn't off the nicotine.
Guest:But I had one at work, and then I was like, you know what?
Guest:I'll just have another one.
Guest:It's over.
Marc:Once you have one, it really is over.
Marc:You got the thing, though, then.
Marc:You got the bug.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:I do everything to the most extreme.
Marc:Yeah, and he's just like, there's no, right.
Marc:Like, if I think about drinking again, there's no sort of like, just have a beer here and there.
Marc:You go right back in there.
Marc:Oh, fuck yeah, man.
Marc:When I think about having a beer, I'm like, why not do that every day?
Marc:Right.
Marc:Why would you not do it every day?
Marc:Right.
Marc:Weed, same thing.
Marc:Why would I not do it every day?
Marc:Why not?
Marc:I know.
Marc:That's the way the brain works, so I just have to stop.
Guest:And then you're like, I get my stuff done.
Marc:yeah right you know kind of but like we can do that because we do this yeah we've got a little more space but then you start to wonder it's like am i doing all the stuff i could be doing eventually with weed though i don't know like what your experience was with it i just i my brain is very active and like my perception i feel good and everything but uh i don't know i i start to feel like i'm detached from from real life you know like from
Guest:like you know you wake up you're like i don't know if i'm still high am i still high and then you get high and you're always like one step to the side of everything which is nice yeah if you want to observe like that but sometimes you just want to be like on right yeah and you can't because you're like stuck yeah for like days yeah exactly i used to smoke weed every single day all day for eight years eight years until like last year when did you start that um how old are you now i am 23.
Marc:Oh, so you're young.
Marc:So when you were like in 15 or something?
Guest:Yeah, I was like 16 and I started smoking weed because I just didn't have any friends and then I got invited to this party because I lived around the corner and I was like actually around when the person invited another person.
Guest:and i've never been invited before so i was just like fuck it i'm gonna go and they were all like 20 20 years old and i was like 16 and they were smoking weed and i was like i became like their little man yeah yeah so i get in the cat stoned yeah that's how i made friends let's get pete stoned yeah that's funny man that's the worst feeling when you kind of get invited to something just because you're there yeah
Marc:Hey, you want to come?
Marc:Yeah, yeah, you can.
Guest:Yeah, when I was like 16, I'd never been invited before.
Guest:I was like, fuck it.
Guest:I'm going to go.
Guest:And then I got caught when I got home because I was wearing sunglasses.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:That's a giveaway.
Guest:Yeah, at 10 o'clock at night.
Marc:When you're a teenager, you come home wearing sunglasses.
Guest:I came home wearing sunglasses.
Marc:You're almost like asking.
Marc:You're like advertising.
Marc:Who caught you?
Marc:Your mom?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So I don't know the whole history of you.
Marc:Where'd you grow up?
Guest:I grew up in Staten Island, New York.
Marc:You got to tell me some shit about Staten Island.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:It's a terrible place, Mark.
Guest:No, like everybody thinks I'm joking.
Marc:That's the reputation it gets.
Marc:You're not surprising anybody.
Marc:Nobody's saying like, oh my God, I thought Staten Island was a vacation island.
Guest:I told my girlfriend this the other day.
Marc:You guys are together still?
Marc:We're together.
Marc:Okay, good.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:All right.
Guest:And I had this realization.
Guest:Because I always thought there was something wrong with me.
Guest:Right.
Guest:My whole entire life.
Guest:I was like, I have no friends.
Guest:I've been to three different schools.
Guest:Everybody hates me.
Guest:Everybody hates me.
Guest:Nobody likes me.
Guest:So it has to be me.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then I left Staten Island, and I was like, it was literally everybody else.
Guest:Really?
Guest:It was everybody else.
Marc:So you mean everyone hated Staten Island?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:No, I just think it was a bad place.
Guest:Oh, I see.
Guest:I always thought there was something wrong.
Guest:There is something wrong with me, but I was like, it can't be everybody.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:Every single person hates me.
Marc:So it was unique to Staten Island that everybody didn't like you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like everybody there's a Trump person.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Pretty much.
Guest:Right.
Guest:It's the only red place in New York.
Marc:Well, my feeling of it was the only other guy I know from Staten Island is Eddie Pepitone.
Marc:yeah and uh you know when i was in new york you know you know of course everyone knows the dump is there yeah but then there was like this you know you just thought like well a lot of like mafia there and there's a lot of cops there it was this weird place where it was just sort of like just like you know you know criminals and cops and just you know alpha monsters roaming the streets yeah with the dump in the background
Guest:but who are the people why were you there was it your family from there my whole family was born and raised your grandparents yeah very well they moved to jersey like later on like in their 50s everybody was jersey that's how bad staten island is to get out you go to jersey that's like the dream of a staten island family like one day we'll retire to the shore yeah and move to jersey yeah
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Jersey's nice.
Marc:I can't badmouth Jersey.
Marc:I've grown because it is part of my past and my grandparents are there.
Marc:I spent a lot of my childhood there.
Marc:Yeah, me too.
Marc:And it's nice.
Marc:I mean, it's very green.
Marc:It's very lush.
Marc:There was good fruit.
Marc:I remember maybe that was just my grandparents.
Marc:There was always a lot of fruit around.
Guest:No, not my family.
Guest:Not your family?
Guest:No.
Guest:A very unhealthy family.
Marc:Well, did they have stories of when Staten Island was great?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:They loved it.
Guest:Everybody from Staten Island that's lived there and still lives there seems to love it.
Marc:I guess it's a like-minded thing.
Guest:Yeah, like my friends, like my group of people, like my age group, are the first ones, I think, to start to realize that it kind of sucks.
Guest:Because I was- You're the generation?
Guest:Yeah, I remember being- And once everyone got pictures of other places?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Once the internet happened, you're like, oh, look.
Guest:no yeah what's like i think it finally this like trump thing i think really fucked everybody oh yeah yeah i think it really like separated a lot of families and oh yeah but look at people differently oh yeah yeah on like a intellectual type thing well i'm not sure what it's going to take to get people to turn on this guy but some people are it's like ridiculous yeah whole family there's a commitment to like oh i think those type of new yorkers
Marc:I don't know, they'll let him off the hook for everything because they like his attitude.
Marc:It's a very specific type of New York bigot.
Guest:No, yeah, my family's the type of people that are like, oh, he's hilarious.
Guest:Right, right, right.
Marc:And also they're like, fuck them.
Marc:Yeah, they're like, no, yeah, fuck them.
Marc:Yeah, they like it.
Marc:I think it's exciting.
Marc:Right.
Marc:It's got nothing to do with policy or lying or, you know.
Marc:It's all swag.
Marc:Yeah, it's swag and bigotry.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And there's definitely a certain type of, like, Queens, I imagine, Staten Island racist guy that everyone knows.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So he's like most of those people of that generation.
Guest:He speaks to them.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's an old New York type.
Marc:I'm just sort of surprised that...
Marc:What surprised me most about him is just how how the the sort of, you know, right wing Christians have latched on to him because they're you know, this is their window.
Marc:So they're like, we'll make a deal with literally Satan.
Marc:Right.
Marc:To meet our agenda.
Marc:I've never met.
Marc:I've never seen a more satanic guy, just a charming guy that never speaks a word of truth.
Marc:And, you know, he's completely morally bankrupt.
Marc:And people are like, I love this guy.
Guest:Yeah, it's insane.
Guest:It's the devil.
Guest:It's to the point where I don't even know what to say about it anymore.
Guest:It's hard to talk about.
Guest:It keeps going.
Marc:That's part of the plan, though, to get us all exhausted and frightened.
Guest:It's terrible.
Marc:It's working.
Guest:I can't think about anything else.
Guest:You can't?
Guest:Because it's just shoved down your throat.
Marc:You keep looking at the phone?
Guest:I just keep looking at it.
Guest:I'm just reading articles all day about something I can't do anything about.
Marc:That's right, the powerlessness.
Guest:I can't change anything, but I'm so infatuated with all this information.
Marc:It's hard to filter because a lot of times it's the same article taken on by a bunch of different angles.
Marc:Then there's opinion pieces where I'm like, is this a real article?
Marc:Oh, it's someone's point of view.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:I have to differentiate because you just go by the clickbait.
Marc:You just go by the headlines.
Marc:You're like, oh, fuck.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So Staten Island, so you're there.
Marc:You're there in the weird darkness of Staten Island.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And, you know, so when you were growing up, what'd your mom do?
Marc:Your dad was in the fire department when you were a kid?
Guest:Yeah, my dad was a fireman and my mom was a nurse.
Guest:Very typical Staten Island type of- And she worked at the hospital in Staten Island?
Guest:She worked at the hospital in Staten Island.
Marc:Is she a nice lady?
Guest:She's a sweet lady.
Guest:Oh, good.
Guest:My mom's the best.
Guest:Okay, good.
Guest:Yeah, she's a very, very nice lady.
Marc:I don't like knowing that nurses are monsters.
Guest:No.
Guest:No, there's good people in Staten Island.
Guest:It's just the whole- The vibe.
Guest:The vibe and the aura of it is pretty awful.
Guest:Something just seems off.
Guest:It's so close to the museums.
Guest:You know when The Walking Dead first starts and you go outside and you look around and it's just very desolate?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It feels exactly like that every time I get over the bridge.
Guest:and you know the dead people yeah yeah you know like oh there he is the guy went to high school with still at the pizza place still like 25 years old still like what's up pussy yeah oh fucking come back home they're all still like that yeah well what do you think that island is filled with people who peaked in high school right that's what it's still like this 17 year old macho mentality that they carry through the rest of
Guest:yeah i fucked that girl i made gave it got her pregnant yeah and they're like proud right right everybody has babies when they're like 19 and they start a family and then they make those people like that like them yeah they're exactly and that's why it keeps getting worse most people haven't let that are born there don't leave like they never go to the city island people are weird like going to the city the first time i went i was like what the fuck is this place this is insane people selling hot dogs on the street
Guest:you know how old were you i was fucking like 14 years old you were 14 i mean i went to the city like once or like twice to see the tree or whatever but like you know that doesn't it just feels like a mom right trip right but as a separate kind of person i went by myself i fucking flipped out it was the craziest thing that's ever happened i can't believe it was that long no it was incredible 14 yeah oh my it's like you were like uh in prison
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I've never been to Manhattan.
Guest:I've been to Brooklyn and Staten Island, but that's pretty much it.
Guest:What, because you have family in Jersey?
Guest:My dad worked in Brooklyn Heights.
Guest:That was where the firehouse was.
Marc:Oh, so every day he had to go over there?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So when you were a kid, did you go to the firehouse and shit?
Guest:I went a bunch.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I really liked the firehouse.
Guest:I thought it was really cool.
Guest:It was also cool.
Guest:You get to go down the pole.
Guest:Sure.
Marc:And firehouses in New York are spectacular.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:They're just so glorious.
Guest:It's really cool.
Guest:And they're like little heroes.
Guest:You know, everybody loves firemen.
Marc:Yep.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:There's that one that used to... There's one down by the old... On Third Street, you know, that used to be right next to the Boston Comedy Club that I think that Anderson Cooper made into a condo.
Marc:And then there's that one...
Marc:There's that one right on, like, you know, like at 3rd and like Bowery.
Marc:There's a big, beautiful one.
Marc:It's one of my favorite buildings in New York.
Marc:Oh, yeah, the ones down there are really nice.
Marc:They're just glorious.
Marc:I mean, they're really old, I think.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So your dad was a fireman.
Marc:Now, I guess most people know what happened, but what happened?
Right.
Guest:So he died 9-11.
Guest:Oh, right.
Marc:So a plane flew into a building.
Guest:So a plane flew into a building.
Guest:Yeah, right, right.
Guest:And then they were actually the first truck over the bridge.
Guest:Your dad's truck was?
Guest:Yeah, because it was right next to the World Trade Center because of Brooklyn Heights and the bridge was right there.
Guest:So they were like one of the first people there and then pretty much the whole firehouse was gone.
Marc:And how old were you?
Guest:Seven.
Marc:So you knew all these guys?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Like you'd go to the station house.
Guest:Yeah, they were like my friends.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, I was there all the time.
Guest:So fucking awful, dude.
Guest:Yeah, it was pretty rough.
Guest:It's still a little rough.
Marc:Yeah, I don't know that you ever really fully get over something like that.
Marc:So like you're seven, so you can barely process what happened.
Guest:Yeah, all I knew was everybody started getting picked up from school.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:In Staten Island.
Guest:In Staten Island.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And my dad worked, and my mom was working, so I was one of the last people to get picked up.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Who picked you up?
Guest:My mom picked me up.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I just went to, I think, my mom's cousin's house, and then she was like, you're not allowed to watch TV.
Guest:She's like, no TV for you.
Guest:So I thought I was in trouble.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I didn't know what was going on.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:so i didn't she probably didn't quite know either right no nobody really knew until like a week or so really but had but by the time you got picked up both towers had fallen i'm pretty yeah i'm pretty sure what a what a time we were all set so nobody was telling us what was going on just a bunch of kids they were just like school's done and we're all like awesome yeah let's get out of here yeah you know i didn't really find out for i was just like eventually like a day or two went by from what i can remember
Guest:and i was like where's dad right like she had to explain and my parents just got divorced at that point like six months ago so you'd just been through that so it was just really rough then and then it started to look like it was starting to get used to both sides and then that happened and then like you know my mom was like if he comes home we'll get back together it was oh really yeah it was fucked up it wasn't really cool and my sister was three so like it was like
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:So your mom said, like, you know, to sort of buffer it, she said, if he comes back, we'll get back together.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Though hope was slim.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:She was probably deep in her mind, like, don't fucking be alive.
Guest:I don't want to get back.
Guest:Oh, God.
Guest:Oh, no.
Guest:No, yeah.
Marc:It was very... What were they like together?
Marc:Do you remember?
Guest:from what i can remember i was so i have like a year maybe of memories i remember it in pictures i remember a happy family i don't remember once in a while i would remember them fighting and then i remember like hiding under my bed yeah maybe like a handful of times right um and then i just remember them being like hey we're not gonna live together anymore and i was like oh okay yeah you know so i don't really was he close by
Guest:Yeah, he wasn't too far away.
Marc:So that happened a few months before the horrible thing?
Guest:That probably happened, I would say, nine months the most.
Guest:I don't remember.
Marc:So when your mom tells you this, that they're looking, is that what she said?
Marc:That they're still looking for people?
Marc:How did she frame it?
Guest:Right.
Guest:She was like, yeah, we don't know.
Guest:He could be under something.
Guest:Oh, right.
Guest:Oh, that's right.
Guest:At this point, we're just like, because they haven't found, they didn't find, they had a rough time finding people.
Guest:Yeah, right.
Marc:There was weeks of that, maybe there's still people alive in the record.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So there was like a rumor that like he was, there's a hotel in there or like some sort of a lobby there.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And he was allegedly seen helping a bellhop and a group of people.
Guest:Oh, right.
Guest:I don't know if it was a bellhop, some sort of a bellhop type guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So we thought maybe he was like trapped in a kitchen and it was like food everywhere.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:He was just chilling.
Guest:You make up a lot of shit.
Guest:When you're a kid, huh?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So.
Marc:So then when did it really sort of like sink in?
Guest:I don't, a lot of it I don't remember, but I know it was like probably a week or two where we were just like, everybody, you know.
Marc:Devastated.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then like, and here's how shitty Staten Island kids are.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I still got picked on like the next day.
Marc:And they knew.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Did they pick on you with that?
Marc:No.
Marc:Oh.
Guest:But it was just still mean, just still like, fuck this kid.
Guest:Like, I actually had one kid be like, he actually became my friend for a little bit.
Guest:And he was like, I'm inviting you over because my mom told me to.
Guest:because your dad died.
Guest:That's how he put it?
Guest:It was like third grade.
Guest:I was like, okay.
Guest:I'll see you Friday after school.
Marc:That's fucking heartbreaking.
Guest:It was fucking awful.
Marc:Why did they pick on you to begin with?
Marc:What was your particular vulnerability that they all decided to bully you?
Guest:I was funny looking.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I used to rip my hair out of my head.
Marc:Before or after?
Guest:After.
Guest:So when I was in fourth grade, I was bald.
Guest:I looked like I had- From ripping your hair out?
Guest:Ripped all my hair out.
Marc:Do you know what compelled you to do that?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:It was just like a tick after that happened.
Guest:I just couldn't stop twirling and ripping my hair out.
Marc:What other things happened physically?
Guest:um i don't you don't remember i was i know i was in therapy like the you know i was in therapy a few months before it happened because i think it was like a family thing yeah and then it just like i just continued with the same guy uh same lady and then just like when that happened since all the kids were so young i think like a lot of like one time this these doctors from like columbia like came over my house and like interviewed me and i think they were doing like a lot of like research
Guest:maybe studying the 9-11 kids yeah and they would ask me like really fucked up questions they would like be like do you think your dad's alive though like do you think he's like out there yeah with that tone yeah like and I'm like no if he is he's a dick if he's fucking hanging out there yeah yeah not coming home but like yeah it was like a lot of like I would go to like Cornell
Marc:Really?
Marc:They flew, like, a bunch of kids?
Guest:I assume.
Guest:I know I had a really rough time.
Guest:I don't know how anybody else really handled it, but, like, I would have to go all the way to the city to do, like, that.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So, like, it was... Were there other kids in your neighborhood that lost their parents?
Guest:No, I didn't really know anybody until there was this 9-11 camp that they had.
Guest:Get out.
Guest:This is called America's Camp.
Guest:Really?
Guest:It was a camp for all the children who lost a parent.
Guest:Really?
Guest:It was fucking awesome, dude.
Guest:It was sick.
Marc:Like the year after it went?
Guest:Maybe two years after they started it or a year after.
Guest:And then it went for like until everybody turned like 17.
Guest:So you go every year?
Guest:I went for five years.
Guest:I think my mom waited like two or three years to see because she was too like scared to send me.
Guest:But then once you went and it was like just all these kids that are all pretty much the same age.
Marc:Well, that's sort of like amazing.
Guest:It was incredible.
Guest:It was a really good time in my life.
Guest:And I have a lot of good memories from that.
Guest:And all the counselors, they come from all over the world.
Guest:So like people from like Ireland, Wales.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Welsh people and like people from England, like hardly any like Americans.
Guest:How many kids?
Guest:It was probably like two.
Guest:maybe two three hundred in the really I'm pretty sure that's like a beautiful thing yeah because and then like my sister started going because she got old enough and then we went together yeah it was really really sweet and it was just a regular camp did any of you guys the kids talk about it I mean was there any like did they I mean it was sort of hanging over the camp you all knew why we all knew why we were there yeah
Guest:But like, I think like one of the main rules was like, don't like, yeah, like shaking like something in your face.
Guest:Here's ice cream or whatever.
Guest:So like, but there would be like moments where like at the end of the camp, like last night where they have like campfire or whatever.
Guest:And they're like, you know why we're all here.
Guest:And they have like very nice like poems and people read stuff and they have like,
Guest:taylor swift performed at our camp really but she was like 15 right whatever like so they got people to come and play and it was really it was really nice oh that's a beautiful it could have been the worst fucking thing ever yeah if it could have been really bad but yeah i guess it was really a matter of of how it was run i mean you know i i how could it have been bad if everybody was just you know miserable but your kids yeah i think they did a really good job at distracting people
Guest:And they also, they had, like, this room called, like, the Volcano Room.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Which is just, like, a bunch of punching bags.
Guest:Really?
Guest:You could, like, smash stuff and, like, break walls and, like.
Marc:And was that popular?
Guest:Yeah, it was very popular.
Guest:It was always, like, it would be funny, like, kayaking.
Guest:They'd be like, anybody want to go?
Guest:We have 10 places.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And, like, Volcano Room would be sold out till, like, Thursday.
Guest:With, like, a line around the corner.
Marc:Go hit shit.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, that's fucking beautiful.
Marc:So it was boys and girls, all ages, I guess, up to what, 16, 17?
Guest:Up to 16, 17.
Guest:And then if you turn 16, 17, you become a counselor.
Guest:But you didn't do that?
Guest:I did for like a year.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:Yeah, for like one of the last years.
Marc:And how did your sister... Does your sister have any memories of this stuff?
Marc:Did she process it differently than you?
Guest:I don't think she knows who the dude is, to be honest with you.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:But...
Guest:It definitely affects her, but I don't know if, like, me and my sister aren't really, like, the closest.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know, like, since, like, I moved out and, like, we're kind of at that she's in college, I'm doing this type thing.
Marc:What's her four-year difference?
Guest:Four-year difference.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So, you know, we talk about it.
Guest:It obviously makes her sad, but I don't know if it, like, if she...
Guest:it's worse for her or or better right i don't know i could see like the positives to both sides not yet because you have a little bit of a memory and i personally i would like to not know right i wish i was in her position like you didn't know the guys at the firehouse you didn't know you know your dad yeah yeah yeah
Guest:I would like to just start no dad.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I would love to do that instead of watch it.
Guest:Because it kind of taught me what death is.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Too young in a way.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That life could just be taken.
Guest:Usually we get to high school, a couple kids kill themselves in their garage.
Guest:Yeah, right.
Guest:Car accident.
Guest:Yeah, car accident.
Marc:You kind of like-
Guest:Yeah, you start like realize, you're like, oh, okay, we're not invincible.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:But like right out the fucking gate.
Marc:And something that global and that horrible.
Guest:Yeah, it was at a time the biggest tragedy that's ever happened.
Marc:It still is in a lot of ways.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know, it's completely- It's definitely top three.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's right up there.
Guest:Us tragedy people, we fight about it all the time at our meetings, but-
Guest:um but but you know it it is it's astounding that camp story is just beautiful i wonder whose idea that was do you know i don't know exactly whose idea it was where was it it was in uh massachusetts um on like like a lake like a like right like a real camp went there yeah
Marc:and uh yeah it was what for like two weeks four weeks it was a week a week a week yeah it's phenomenal and like all these people from all over the world so you're seeing you know like a global community around it's just this whole group just and every every counselor was just like incredible and like so sweet and like there was no problems it was really that's a great story yeah so like as you go so you're you're doing the camp every summer but you know you're still in high school and you're still getting shit and then you know what
Marc:What's playing out for you in high school in retrospect that you can attach to the tragedy?
Guest:How am I doing in school?
Guest:I'm acting out a lot.
Guest:In elementary school, I acted out a lot.
Guest:I was known as a crazy kid.
Guest:People would laugh at me and with me.
Guest:I would...
Guest:i was a dude that would make someone laugh and then keep hammering away at the same thing and not stopping and then everyone stops and then everyone eventually is like dude we're trying to like study like you fucking like chill yeah yeah so yeah i it was like and then when i got to high school i kind of was like quiet and i started doing like these videos for uh the news channel in the morning for the school i used to film the football team and then make like a highlight tape with like music in the background
Marc:Straight up.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:No funny.
Guest:No funny.
Guest:Just like hits, sync the music to the hits.
Guest:So you're learning something.
Guest:Yeah, I was having fun, and people were like, these videos are incredible, but nobody knew who I was.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then once people found out who it was, they didn't like me.
Guest:Why?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:It must have been my fault.
Guest:There must have been something that I was doing because I can't explain to you.
Marc:The resentment?
Guest:I don't know what it was.
Guest:I really don't.
Guest:I mean, was I probably annoying?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Was I acting out?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:But I wasn't a mean person or like...
Marc:You were probably kind of, like, I think that from acting out, after a certain point, there's an annoying element to it, but then you realize the person's probably, you know, fundamentally insecure, needs attention, looking for something, so why not bully that kid?
Guest:Yeah, I don't know.
Guest:You know, I bet, like...
Guest:obviously i'm the person you invite somewhere and you avoid yeah at that time you know i didn't get invited i had like one friend you know we would hang out we wouldn't go out we weren't invited places we would just sleep over each other's houses and like watch tv and movies how's that kid doing he's good he's
Guest:Oh, good.
Guest:I don't talk to him much, but we're still friendly.
Guest:Oh, good.
Guest:He's very supportive and very nice.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So when do you take the step to perform, to actually perform, as opposed to just acting out, to act out with a context?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, I was always a huge fan of comedy.
Guest:Like I saw Eddie Murphy Delirious when I was like 10.
Guest:On the video?
Guest:I got a DVD and my mom thought it was an Eddie Murphy movie.
Guest:And we used to have like a one in the car.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:One of those like Tahos that have.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:So we were playing it and she was obviously flipping out.
Guest:Right.
Marc:With the language and everything.
Guest:But she was cool.
Guest:And she was like, you could watch it like at home.
Guest:Just like not around your sister.
Guest:And I was like 10.
Guest:So I was like, oh, fuck.
Guest:All right.
Guest:Cool.
Guest:You know, so I got very into it.
Marc:So she gave you a longer leash.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:Kid's been through a lot.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Let him watch the dirty black guy.
Guest:And that planted the seed?
Guest:Yeah, then I just became obsessed, and it was to the point where I could do the whole special.
Marc:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah, and then Dane Cook came out, and I was like...
Guest:13 yeah 14 and that was the space that was the time that was like the time i've never even heard of like a comedian like albums coming out like you know so he was a really big fucking deal yeah to like especially kids like us yeah like we would go nuts right on staten island yeah yeah yeah everybody would lose their mind um and then when i was like 16 i was in uh high school did you tell dane that
Guest:I did.
Guest:I did tell him.
Guest:How'd he take it?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, he's, you know, he knows.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's a funny thing when you start meeting your heroes.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You get to do that, right?
Guest:Yeah, you get to do that.
Guest:Did you meet Eddie?
Guest:um never not yet oh i did i met him once uh at uh an snl thing it was like right before the 40th yeah uh anniversary special and uh he was there and i just went up to him i was like hey man just wanted to shake your hand like just like yeah nice to meet you see you later and he was like how old are you and i was like 20 and he's like you're gonna be just fine
Guest:that's that's what he said you'd be just fine that's that's really cool yeah yeah yeah so he knew you were on the show he wasn't like who's the annoying kid yeah yeah it was for the first time right right you know once i started doing comedy is when i started making friends right that's when i met people that were exactly like me and most comics also have a pretty horrible past of one kind or another yeah something's off but yours is very specific yeah like you're still gonna trump everybody else
Guest:Yeah, but comedians are so like, they'll be like, yeah, I understand.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:They'll be like, I'm going through this as well.
Guest:I get it.
Guest:So I immediately just loved stand-up.
Guest:Well, how did it happen that you first did it?
Guest:I was on a basketball team.
Guest:Were you good?
Guest:I was good.
Guest:I was good.
Guest:Not like great.
Guest:I could hit three pointers and I could play defense.
Guest:I couldn't dribble or like do anything super athletic.
Guest:You could shoot good though, huh?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And there was like a stand-up competition in Staten Island at this place called the Looney Bin.
Guest:The Looney Bin is a comedy club inside of a bowling alley.
Marc:I've done bowling alleys.
Guest:Next to a LA Fitness.
Guest:Oh, good.
Guest:Perfect.
Guest:Yeah, and a Wendy's.
Guest:In a strip mall?
Guest:It's like, no, it's in a parking lot.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:And it's like, yeah.
Guest:So, you know, the thing about that club is like when you're bombing, you just hear people bowling and getting like strikes.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So who were the acts?
Marc:Had you ever been there before?
Guest:I've never been there.
Guest:I just went.
Guest:How old were you?
Guest:I was 16.
Guest:Your friends talk you into it?
Guest:Yeah, the kids on my basketball team, these two kids, they would be mean to me in front of the team.
Guest:But when we were alone, they'd be like, hey, man, you should do that stand-up thing.
Guest:It was very weird, but I took it.
Marc:That's weird where you realize that some of the fucking shit talk is just sort of like, they still like you.
Marc:They still like me.
Guest:Yeah, there was two kids on the team, and there was one kid on my back.
Guest:I played basketball my whole life until I was a junior in high school.
Guest:And this kid was always nice to me, and our parent was friends, and we would hang out.
Guest:But if we were ever in front of anybody, I would just get abused for no reason.
Marc:And then afterwards, you'd be like, hey, sorry, buddy.
Guest:He'd be like, hey, man, you know I love you.
Guest:Yeah, but why don't you not do that?
Guest:Why don't you tell them that you love me?
Guest:I mean, you know.
Guest:We hang out all the time, man.
Guest:Poor guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You got beat up.
Guest:It was so bad.
Guest:You couldn't do nothing about it.
Guest:Now I find it funny.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But, like, it was pretty shitty.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Well, I guess they just... I imagine, like, he must have been sort of like, you know, the effect of losing a parent and having that weird kind of...
Guest:need and vulnerability and wanting to be friends with people yeah like please someone like like like me yeah i was just like please i'm looking for any reassurance in anything you know and just that island was the wrong place to be at that time for that it did yeah it doesn't come in uh yeah you know uh you know there's not a billboard when you get up on the bridge it's a staten island home of supportive people yeah i was even kind of the odd man out at that camp yeah oh yeah oh no come on no wait were you
Guest:No, I was like maybe early on, but then like the first couple of days, but then eventually.
Marc:Well, you imagine it must have been interesting in the camp because you probably have the kids of public service people.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But also the kids of wealthy investors.
Marc:It's everybody.
Marc:The class diversity must have been profound.
Yeah.
Guest:But also, everybody was from somewhere else but Staten Island.
Guest:And they all seemed to have friends at home and stuff like this.
Guest:So it was all still- You were there representing Staten Island.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, that's wild.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So what do you do when you go do the comedy?
Guest:um so i went there and there was like six people in the audience and i went i went six that's good that's safe six to eight my mom was at the bar i didn't let her come in yeah um and it went okay it went okay and okay is good for eight yeah you know that's like three people laughing yeah that's good that's okay there was a couple people laughing and what were you doing jokes i was doing jokes like about like my dad uh you know
Guest:I don't remember exactly what it was.
Guest:I used to do this joke about I had a mongoose.
Guest:And I used to, my mom said, I asked her if I can get a car.
Guest:She said, I can get a mongoose.
Guest:And I got all excited.
Guest:And then obviously I found out it was a bike.
Guest:I used to be like, you know, I'm 16, so I'm into cougars.
Guest:Is there any 20-year-olds in that?
Guest:Very hacky.
Marc:No, but it's good because you got the benefit of the doubt because you were a kid.
Marc:They weren't going to be like your friends and be assholes to you.
Marc:They're at least going to be like, oh, look at the kid trying to do something.
Guest:Yeah, the kid act worked until I was like 18, and then all of a sudden it stopped, and then I actually had to start writing jokes because I thought I would be able to skate by and do this.
Marc:So right when you did it, you realized this is it?
Guest:Yeah, I was like, this seems like a lot of fun.
Guest:I would like to put as much effort and time into this as I can.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I stopped doing the basketball thing.
Guest:After school, every day, I would go to the city to do open mics.
Guest:You did?
Guest:For like two, three years.
Guest:Really?
Marc:So you're traveling in.
Marc:Now, what was this stomach problem you had?
Guest:Oh, I have Crohn's.
Marc:That's all that's in the research.
Marc:His dad died on 9-11.
Marc:He's got Crohn's disease and he's on SNL.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Crohn's is a good bio.
Guest:That's the bio.
Guest:SNL is always the afterthought whenever anybody ever talks to you.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:9-11.
Guest:9-11.
Guest:Crohn's.
Guest:Crappy tummy.
Guest:And then 9-11.
Guest:And then SNL.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:What the hell is that?
Marc:I mean, I know one person maybe you had it.
Guest:uh it's like this disease where you you get you shit all the time and you lose a lot of weight and you feel really sick and your stomach always hurts is it stress related or is it disease or what it's i i am told i have a disease i think stress makes it worse sure but um you know i got it when i was like maybe 17 16 17 just out of nowhere
Guest:Yeah, and it was really bad, maybe even younger, it was really bad for like three years until we stopped going to like Staten Island doctors and like we went to this guy in the city and then immediately fixed it.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah, immediately fixed.
Marc:Well, what were they doing on Staten Island?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:You know, I had people looking in my butthole all the time, like, you know, doing all this shit and like nothing was working.
Guest:I was just getting sicker and sicker.
Guest:And then, you know, I smoked a lot of weed and like tried to make it a little bit better.
Guest:But then this guy in the city.
Guest:Just go to the city.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I got this thing called Remicade, which is an IV drip for like three hours.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you just sit there and then you feel good for like a month or two and then you get another one.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So Staten Island, they were just sort of like, what is this?
Guest:I don't know what we're doing.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Don't eat the whatever.
Guest:And my mom was a nurse, so she would be like, go to my friend.
Guest:Go to this other friend.
Guest:This doctor, right.
Guest:Yeah, in Staten Island.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You would think it's so close to real medicine.
Guest:I know, there's real medicine a bridge away.
Guest:It's like, it's crazy.
Marc:I think it's indicative of probably a bigger problem in the health services in terms of certain communities, you know what I mean?
Guest:Right.
Guest:No, yeah.
Guest:So, you know, if...
Marc:You got it under control.
Guest:We got it under control now.
Marc:Do you still do it?
Guest:Do I still do shit?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Do I still shit?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, now it used to be like 30, 40 times a day.
Guest:Come on.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:When it was at its peak.
Marc:Come on.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And yeah, my asshole just looks like a porn star's asshole.
Guest:It's just like a gape.
Guest:Always open.
Guest:A lot of flow.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:So, yeah, for like two, three years, it would be like 40.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:But it would be normal.
Guest:It was to the point where it was normal.
Marc:That was just your life.
Guest:And now I go like once a day.
Marc:Oh, like a person.
Guest:Like a person.
Guest:Oh, good.
Guest:And it is incredible.
Marc:I don't want to hurt some people's feelings out there who have Crohn's disease or, you know, twice a day people.
Marc:Yeah, I don't mean that.
Guest:No, yeah, sometimes twice.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:You know, most three.
Guest:But, you know, it's a treat.
Marc:And you still do the treatment?
Guest:I still do the treatment.
Marc:It's good that they have something.
Guest:Yeah, it's incredible.
Marc:So now you're smoking weed, you're on an IV, you're going to the city to do stand-up.
Marc:Where were you doing it?
Guest:I was doing a lot of Lower East Side and comedy clubs.
Guest:Which one?
Guest:Eastville.
Marc:Oh, Eastville.
Marc:way eastville's like got the worst sound it is like it's a nice little room but you like put a rug down but what it's fucking tiles what's crazy is when you first start every room is incredible yeah you're like this this place exists and i get to perform i still i'll go to eastville like because it's around the corner from where i stay in new york sometimes i'll just drop in there and like i went there like it was the it was the the day the night before i did carnegie hall i went in there with nate bargetsy oh yeah
Guest:I just bombed.
Guest:And I was like, I needed this.
Guest:This is good.
Guest:I'm about to do Carnegie Hall tomorrow.
Marc:I needed to be humbled by Eastfield Comedy Club.
Guest:Eastfield Comedy Club.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:But it's one of those weird rooms where the sound just bounces around a bit.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But when did you get in at the cellar?
Guest:I got in at the cellar.
Marc:Probably not until after SNL, right?
Marc:No, before.
Marc:Oh, good.
Marc:I got lucky.
Marc:Who championed you?
Guest:Who championed me?
Marc:Norton?
Guest:No, who was it?
Guest:I think my agent did it at the time.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And Esty just liked you?
Guest:Yeah, I got very lucky.
Guest:I think I was like 18 or 19.
Marc:She wouldn't let me in until my HBO half hour.
Marc:And even then, it was conditional.
Marc:And from like 10 years in, she's like, all right.
Guest:No, I hear stories of people that are like, it took me like seven.
Guest:I kind of just walk right in.
Marc:And then it was hit or miss there.
Marc:To the point where I'm wary now to call in for spots.
Marc:You could just show up.
Marc:I think I can now.
Guest:You could show up.
Guest:Yeah, I can now.
Guest:Yeah, absolutely.
Marc:But there was a period there after the podcast and after I was a known guy where I wouldn't put in.
Marc:Because I didn't know.
Marc:I forget which day to call.
Marc:And I had this fear that I would be in New York for two days.
Marc:And I just want to sit there and eat the fucking... The wings up there.
Marc:The wings or whatever.
Marc:And in the chicken skewers and just hang out with my friends and do like seven spots over Friday and Saturday.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But my fear is I'd call up.
Guest:She's like, I have the 130 on Friday.
Guest:And I'm like, I can't do it.
Guest:I can't do it.
Guest:It's too late.
Guest:Well, I just can't.
Guest:Because the 130 doesn't really start till two.
Marc:I know.
Marc:But I just didn't want to be that guy.
Marc:Like, you know, sorry, Mark Cohen is in town and John Joseph is here.
Guest:Atel has to do nine shows.
Guest:And then she'll see you when you haven't come by.
Guest:She'll be like, no, come by.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:Because you don't put me on.
Marc:No, but I'm being mean.
Marc:She's gotten nicer.
Guest:She's the sweetest.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:And the play seems good.
Marc:I don't think to put in there when I go.
Marc:I should just go over and do a set.
Guest:yeah just go over yeah yeah but you did a stand did the stand for a while so what else was around stand up New York stand up New York you were running around that was like a big hike though for me right from Staten Island from Staten Island when you get in there you're in like the financial district so like going all the way up to 78 it's like what the fuck
Marc:So it was primarily the cellar, Eastville, the stand in Boston.
Guest:The cellar, not until I was like 18, 19.
Guest:It was mostly bars.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:And like comics would have to like- Oh, the comic shows.
Guest:Yeah, like comic shows.
Guest:And then like, oh, I did a couple bringer shows.
Guest:And then I kind of realized that like, those aren't really the way to go when you're trying to-
Guest:work new material or do stand up at all I know just like I didn't know like 20 comics waiting to get on I didn't know you became this guy that like you know they'll be like oh this guy could bring 20 people oh yeah keep asking him yeah yeah yeah I was like they want to book me yeah you're wearing out your friends yeah oh no none of my friends come to this day because of the first year of stand up
Guest:And I'm like, what you were watching was awful.
Guest:There was nobody there.
Guest:They're like, no, I'm not going through.
Guest:You were doing the same jokes that didn't work the last time.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They're like, I'm not doing that.
Guest:Buying two drinks.
Marc:They won't even watch you on SNL.
Marc:Can't do it.
Marc:No.
Marc:That's hilarious.
Marc:So when did you finally start to kind of come into your own?
Marc:When did the seller happen?
Marc:Who else did you start with?
Marc:You got friends that came up the same time?
Guest:Jordan Rock.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Ricky Velez.
Guest:I don't know him.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:who else kind of soda uh-huh dan soda uh-huh he's like he's been doing it way longer than me and is a way better comic but we all kind of started like popping off a little bit is it nice when you kind of you find the dudes that you're hanging out with you know like the women whatever but with the people that are your generation yeah yeah like your group of guys yeah yeah you know best yeah doing like open mics together go eat getting jealous of each other and stuff good joke asshole yeah
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Absolutely.
Marc:Hey, you want a tag?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:All right.
Guest:And then you'll get mad if they give you a tag.
Guest:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And then if it's good.
Guest:You're like, fuck.
Guest:Can I use it?
Guest:Can I use it, though?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And now you owe them one.
Guest:Yeah, tag.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I was never good at tags.
Guest:I was like, if I ever suggested anything to anybody, it'd be the worst.
Guest:They'd go do it and just be like, not only did that bomb, but it made people unhappy.
Marc:I'm like, I don't know.
Marc:I thought it was funny.
Marc:I thought it was funny.
Marc:I guess I have a different way of doing it.
Marc:So how does...
Marc:How does SNL happen?
Marc:Are you working as a comic?
Marc:Are you going out?
Marc:I was getting like... I mean, you're doing road work?
Guest:I was doing well getting spots.
Guest:I would have like five on a Friday, five on a Saturday.
Guest:At the cellar.
Guest:Yeah, and then like two every day during the week.
Guest:I was doing it every day.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Coming in from Staten Island?
Guest:No.
Guest:Then I moved to Brooklyn Heights when I was like 17, 18.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I went to college for a year.
Guest:Where?
Guest:At St.
Guest:Francis in Brooklyn.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then after like the second, my sophomore year after like a semester, I just stopped because I got an MTV show.
Guest:Mm-hmm.
Marc:What show was that?
Guest:It was like Guy Code or something.
Guest:How'd you get that?
Marc:So you got an agent?
Guest:I got an agent and someone saw me opening for someone that was on the show.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then they offered me-
Guest:And it wasn't like crazy.
Guest:It was just like, I was like, I have to put all my effort into this right now and see if it could actually go anywhere.
Guest:And then if it doesn't, I could always- What was that show?
Guest:It's just like talking head.
Guest:You're just like in front of a green screen and there's like a hip hop beat and you're like, girls, talking about crazy.
Guest:You would hate it.
Guest:Yeah, I know.
Guest:I mean, I don't like it now.
Marc:I remember those Talking Ed shows when I was coming up.
Marc:I was already well into it, like on VH1, like the 80s, the 90s, the 70s, whatever it was.
Marc:They just asked comics to work for nothing, and you'd go up there.
Guest:It's like 300 bucks, and you'd just go up there and just rant.
Marc:When you're sort of a comic, and you have some talent, and they don't know what to do with you, your manager always has you do things like, well, they want you to host these segments on VH1.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And then you're there, and they put you in clothes you don't want to wear, and you're like,
Guest:And they're all hip clothes.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And you're doing like Tony Braxton's bio.
Marc:And I'm like, what the fuck happened to me?
Marc:You know, like I can't like it's so embarrassing.
Marc:But, you know, it all adds up.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I think I must have earned something.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'm very lucky that that stuff didn't really.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Like you just got to be that talking head guy forever.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's the advantage of being very young.
Marc:Yeah, but also you're kind of a character, so you're not just young, but you got your own groove.
Marc:Right.
Marc:You're unique.
Marc:So you do the MTV thing.
Guest:I did that, and then I met Nick Cannon, and he signed me for a little bit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I used to open for him for like a year or two, and that was fun.
Marc:He signed you?
Guest:What do you mean he signed me?
Guest:He was my manager.
Guest:he's a comic I don't kind of I mean like he's one of those guys that does everything yeah and so he whenever he decided to do stand-up I would be his guy and I would help him like write stuff so he was your manager yeah yeah kind of
Marc:So why did you decide to go with him?
Marc:Just because of that resume?
Guest:Yeah, I was like 17, 18.
Guest:You knew who he was?
Guest:Nobody was barking at my door or whatever.
Guest:So I just went with him.
Guest:And he seemed like a really nice guy.
Guest:And then I opened for him for like a year or two.
Guest:And then I did his show Wildin' Out, which is like a hip-hop improv show, which was really uncomfortable for me.
Guest:And it gives me chills whenever I hear the name Wildin' Out.
Guest:What did you have to do?
Guest:It's like dissing people, like rap style.
Guest:Like, yo, your shirt is whack, motherfucker.
Guest:You know, like, I bet your mom comes from so-and-so.
Marc:Did you write them or was it improv?
Guest:No, everybody would write them before the show.
Marc:Were you a rap fan?
Marc:Were you a rap kid?
Guest:I love rap.
Guest:I'm just not that guy.
Guest:I'm not like, yo, let me tell you something.
Guest:I'm really not that guy.
Guest:And it was embarrassing.
Guest:I felt really embarrassed.
Guest:And what sucked was they were all so excited and so good at it, the rest of the cast.
Guest:And then I became friends with Amy Schumer.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And she gave me a tiny little part in Trainwreck.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I met Bill Hader.
Guest:And then Bill Hader seemed to like me from that.
Marc:What were you in Trainwreck?
Marc:I saw it.
Guest:I was like a, it was like an extra, like I was like laying on a bed in the hospital.
Guest:Oh, okay.
Guest:What happened to you?
Guest:And I was like, I tripped on a bong.
Guest:I was like around athletes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I guess he liked it.
Guest:And then I got a call.
Guest:Bill did.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I got a call from my team and they were like, hey, Bill Hader recommended you to Lauren Michaels for SNL.
Guest:And I've never, that's something I never even like had a dream about because it's so not me.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Like I don't know how to act or do characters or impressions.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I don't look like anybody.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I can only talk about my dick and my mom at this point.
Yeah.
Guest:So I was like, still, I'm still at that point, by the way.
Guest:I still don't have much to talk about.
Guest:I haven't lived anything yet.
Guest:And now I just work.
Guest:So I'm never going to experience life ever, which is a big fear of mine.
Guest:Anyway, back to the story.
Guest:So I didn't think much of it.
Guest:And then I auditioned on a stand-up on a show where everybody did characters.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Where was that?
Guest:It was, I think, at a UCB or something in the city.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And it went okay.
Guest:And I was like, oh, maybe they'll make a mistake and make me a writer.
Guest:Yeah, right.
Guest:Them hiring me at all would be probably a mistake for them.
Guest:So I was like, maybe I could slide into the writer's room and do a year and then get fired.
Guest:Right, right.
Marc:Or quit.
Marc:Do a Hannibal.
Guest:I was like, that would be awesome.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So they called me in.
Guest:oh i got a call back and then you audition at uh at the studio studio yeah which is i'm sure you know is a dark room yeah and they're in there but they're not laughing you can't see them and you're on the stage it's quiet yeah and you're just you know freestyling to a camera yeah so i just did like stand up again and you know there was no laughter or anything very much so i just you know walked out just kind of felt the weight of lorne in the dark
Guest:Yeah, I just felt like, okay, I didn't get this.
Guest:That's just what happened.
Guest:I got to sit in somebody else's dressing room and look at how cool my life could be.
Guest:And I got to do that.
Guest:And I was very appreciative for even getting to do that.
Guest:And then I got a call again to meet with the writers.
Guest:They might want to make you a writer.
Guest:And I never saw SNL before.
Guest:I still went to this point.
Guest:You still haven't watched it.
Guest:Now I know it.
Guest:From the inside.
Guest:But before I got the show, I didn't know about it.
Guest:Really?
Guest:I didn't know what it was.
Guest:I love that.
Guest:Which is really bad to say, but I didn't grow up really watching it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I watched like Spongebob.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:You know, Drake and Josh.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, which is a Nickelodeon show.
Guest:So, you know, I had to like come.
Marc:And you're like, what, 19?
Guest:I'm like, yeah, 19.
Guest:And my agents were like, you know, make sure you go in there and say like what your favorite stuff is from the show.
Guest:You know, for the writers.
Guest:I'm meeting with the writers and before I just YouTubed SNL.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I saw like all these, the Will Ferrell Jeopardy sketches.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I've seen all those on YouTube.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So I have seen the show.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I just didn't know because everything was on YouTube.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I just thought they were weird Will Ferrell sketches.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:So I said those and I said Sandler, everything he does.
Guest:And then they were like, we'll get back to you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I got called in to meet with Lauren.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I go in there and, you know.
Marc:Are you nervous?
Marc:Do you feel the weight of it?
Marc:Or it's still like SNL doesn't mean that much to you?
Guest:i i didn't it's not that i didn't mean it it would be incredible it's just i have no idea what any of this is yeah this is all so crazy to me yeah just you know i'm just gonna like you know enjoy it all right and i met with lauren are you high i was very yeah when you went in i was i was high for every day i was a high person yeah from 16 to 23 to like january to like january yeah and now it's like occasionally whatever but um
Guest:So I, you know, I meet with him and then I don't know if it goes well.
Guest:What happens?
Guest:I sit down and, you know, he's there and he just starts talking to me about the show.
Guest:And, you know, I don't really remember much of it.
Guest:did he say like what he thought you might do or what you want he asked you what you wanted to do he was kind of like he was like i think you're really funny i don't know if it works best for the show right um you know you're very young yeah you know but i think you're really funny yeah and that was it that was it that was it and i left i didn't hear anything for a month yeah so i was like okay i i said i was like thank you so much for the meeting i was like really appreciate meeting with you this is you know this was crazy this was crazy yeah
Guest:And then I got a call a month later, and it was Lorne.
Guest:He was like, hey, you got the show.
Guest:I'll see you at work.
Guest:I couldn't believe what was going on.
Guest:It was all so ridiculous to me.
Guest:So I just assumed I was going to get fired at the end of the year, so I just figured I'd have a lot of fun.
Guest:So you went to work.
Guest:I went to work.
Guest:And what'd you do?
Guest:What'd they start you out with?
Guest:I got to do stand-up on update.
Marc:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:So I got to talk about sucking dick.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So they bring you out as you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They bring me out as me, my first thing.
Guest:And the stand-up, I guess, went really well.
Guest:And since then, I've remained on the show.
Marc:And you just sat there with, who was Update then?
Guest:Uh, it was, it was Colin and Michael.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:That was the first year.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Of it.
Guest:So, um, yeah.
Guest:And you know, Lauren's been really great and he's been really nice to me and everybody's been super nice there and I'm still there.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Are you doing characters?
Guest:I don't know how to do them.
Guest:I mean like if, if like once in a while there'll be like a guy that I look like that there'll be like, you're him.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But I'm not doing a good job at impersonating it at all.
Guest:Do you try to?
Guest:I do, but it actually sounds worse than my regular voice.
Guest:So I usually just do it.
Guest:I'm myself in everything.
Guest:And I don't know how I'm still on the show.
Guest:But I'm very grateful.
Guest:so what are you doing out here um I'm out here just doing some stand-up and just my girlfriend lives here and I like it here a lot you do yeah it's very relaxing yeah you find it you're relaxed I'm very relaxed what's going on what we talked about you know the BPD yeah okay so yeah I got a I went to like rehab in like December and
Marc:Now what leads up, we're talking about borderline personality disorder.
Marc:If you don't want to talk about it, tell me.
Marc:No, I can talk about it, yeah.
Marc:Because it's fascinating to me.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Because it's a really kind of mysterious diagnosis.
Marc:It's hard to diagnose.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And it's very specific.
Marc:And I've dated a couple of people.
Marc:One I know had BPD.
Marc:The other one I'm sure doesn't think she does.
Guest:Right.
Marc:But it's a difficult diagnosis.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:And how did you, how did it manifest itself?
Marc:How did you think to think you had it?
Guest:So I've been a pothead forever.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I started around October, I would say, September last year.
Guest:I started having like these mental breakdowns where I would like freak out.
Guest:Like rage?
Guest:Rage.
Guest:And then not remember what happened after.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So blind rage.
Guest:Blind rage.
Marc:What would spark it?
Guest:I don't even know.
Guest:Like my girl, I was on the phone with her once and then she like immediately was like, yeah, you just like snapped and like you like went nuts.
Guest:And you didn't know, no memory.
Guest:I had no memory of it.
Guest:Like then like later on I would remember it like in pictures kind of and like kind of remember it like in a fog.
Guest:But like I wouldn't know what happened until after I broke something or after I came to.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:So I was under the assumption that I was like, maybe it's the weed.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, I never really did any other drugs.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So I was like, I'm going to try and go to rehab, you know, my doctor.
Guest:For weed.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was like, maybe that'll be helpful.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Um, so I, I go, you know, and I get off weed and, you know, they're, they told me there, they're like, you might be bipolar or whatever.
Guest:And I was like, okay, so we're going to try you on these meds or whatever.
Guest:And then.
Guest:I got out and then I started smoking weed again.
Guest:And you're on meds.
Guest:And I'm on meds.
Guest:So I was like, I was feeling a little better.
Guest:So, you know, two months go by and I just snapped.
Guest:I was smoking weed every day.
Guest:I just like snapped and like I had a really bad mental breakdown.
Guest:so i like freaked out and i was like it has to be like it has to be weed i was like this is what it has to be so i like said i'm like i'm getting sober i'm like i was like i'm quitting drugs and i said i quit drugs and then like i should have just kind of said i'm quitting weed yeah because now people think i do drugs right you know so like i'm very embarrassed at this point and like what did you tell the show
Guest:I told the show, I was like, I'm quitting drugs.
Guest:To me, I thought, everybody was telling me weed is a drug.
Guest:You're a drug addict.
Guest:You smoke weed all the time.
Guest:And I was like, I guess I am a drug addict.
Guest:I'm very scared and I don't know what I have.
Guest:But you know it's mental.
Guest:I know there's something wrong.
Guest:So four or five months go by of this happening.
Guest:So I was like, I'm going to stop.
Guest:I was like, you know.
Guest:i'll do this yeah keep going to therapy and then i was i didn't smoke or do you know drink or anything for like and you're off the psych meds for three months no i'm still on them i was on for like three months i didn't do anything and i never i still felt the same i still felt like something was fucked up and something was wrong and i found out uh i have bpd which is borderline personality disorder and
Marc:And who diagnosed that?
Guest:One of the doctor, one of my psychiatrists.
Guest:Therapist, psychiatrist.
Guest:They're all the same.
Guest:I don't know which one it is.
Marc:And what was the, what were the sort of like, how did he do the interview that led him to that conclusion?
Guest:Um, he was always saying, uh, like before this big meltdown happened, he was like, you know, you're probably bipolar or borderline.
Guest:We just kind of have to figure it out.
Guest:And then after that started happening, he was like, you're, you're borderline.
Guest:This is what it is.
Marc:Cause you don't have prolonged depression.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:She was like, we, I'm depressed all the time, but like it, whatever they said, they're really close and it doesn't really come out until this age.
Guest:Really?
Guest:They were like, this is the age where it kind of,
Marc:But now, am I wrong in thinking that borderline is behavioral and bipolar is actually chemical?
Marc:I think so.
Guest:I'm not, like, exactly sure.
Guest:Because they're both so close, and what I'm being treated with is, like, called DBT skills.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Which is dialectical behavior.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And they're both, like, they're treated kind of like the same.
Marc:So you're still on psych meds, and you do...
Guest:Yeah, I'm on new psych meds because it wasn't working.
Guest:And I've been going to therapy every single day.
Marc:What are DBT things?
Guest:You know, just like a fear of... It's like fear of abandonment.
Marc:Well, that's right.
Marc:That's the big thing with the borderline.
Guest:Yeah, so like you learn... Because I would always be like, I think everybody's mad at me.
Guest:Everybody hates me.
Guest:Like, I'm going to lose my friends.
Guest:I'm going to lose my girlfriend.
Guest:Like, my family hates me.
Guest:And I would always just like...
Guest:be all around, I'd be worried all the time and I'd be freaking out.
Guest:And then this thing, this class, you know, teaches you how to use those skills and how to like be kind of independent is I guess the word.
Marc:To sort of say, to realize that like your thoughts aren't necessarily real.
Guest:Right, yeah, it's like steps to like thought processing.
Guest:Like you have this thought, you have these feelings, you have these urges, you're gonna freak out.
Guest:Try waiting it out 10 minutes.
Guest:Try going for a walk.
Guest:What's DBT stand for?
Guest:Dialectical behavior therapy.
Guest:And is it working?
Guest:It is working, slowly but surely.
Guest:Like, I've been having a lot of problems.
Guest:Like, this whole year has been a fucking nightmare.
Guest:Because of this.
Guest:This has been the worst year of my life.
Guest:Like, for, you know, getting diagnosed with this and trying to figure out how to learn with this and live with this and, like, just learning all about it and going to doctors nonstop.
Guest:It's getting better, but it's, like, it's taking a while.
Guest:And you go to therapy, like, talk therapy every week?
Guest:I go to talk therapy and they also, I have, like, this book and we go over, like, skills.
Guest:No kidding.
Guest:How to implement them.
Marc:Well, that's good.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Do any of them track it to the loss of your dad?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, that's the big one.
Guest:However I lived my childhood and fear and all of this stuff is related.
Marc:And also you were fundamentally violently abandoned.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's, that's my big thing is trust.
Guest:It's like, you know, one day he was here and then the next day, you know, they're gone.
Guest:Like I have trouble when, like I used to have trouble when sometimes my mom would be like, I'm going out, you know, I've, you know, when people say they're leaving and coming back, I get like a really big fear.
Guest:I like that.
Guest:They're not going to come back.
Marc:Well, I think isn't the prognosis pretty good, especially if you're getting treatment?
Marc:I know that that borderline is difficult to treat, but some people actually grow out of it.
Guest:Yes, some people grow out of it and eventually don't need to do any of this stuff anymore.
Guest:So that's what I'm going to therapy with the hope of.
Marc:Isn't that fascinating though in the way that like because you were conscious enough that you were seven years old and you were emotionally attached and awake when that happened, when your father got killed, that wired your brain.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Because the person I knew who had it also had loss in her life around that age.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And, you know, and it just like it just you can't comprehend what happened.
Marc:But you do know that, you know, people can leave or die in, you know, one day.
Guest:Right.
Marc:And that's that.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:So the talk therapy's helping?
Marc:Would you usually start with the day and track your feelings?
Guest:Yeah, it's day by day.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Because you could wake up a completely different person.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Just submerged in depression and self-hatred?
Guest:Yeah, you just wake up and you're like, the world is coming in on you and it's all about...
Guest:getting out of that and using your tools right like going through this book like as like it's so hard and like lame yeah but like once you like you know actually do it and go through the book and you're like i'm gonna use this skill or like hold ice something or take a cold shower or listen to your favorite song really loud it sounds fucking lame and annoying but like when you do it it actually kind of works sure because like if you if you engage in those habits that eventually the neural pathways you trick your brain yeah and you do it enough right it stays tricked yeah
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I have to convince myself I'm happy now.
Guest:That's been like my goal.
Marc:Let's not go crazy.
Marc:How about okay?
Guest:Right, yeah.
Guest:I would love to be okay, Mark.
Guest:That would be incredible.
Guest:Just to be okay would be incredible.
Marc:Yeah, I know the feeling, man.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Well, I'm glad you're doing all right.
Marc:It's good that there's treatment and that you have support and you didn't blow up your relationship.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I don't know how she's still with me.
Guest:Being in a relationship with someone like myself must be incredibly difficult.
Marc:But engaging.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, it's always exciting.
Guest:Hands on.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, there's always something new for sure.
Marc:And sometimes like that, you know, for certain people, it's like, you know, what if their life's a little slow?
Marc:They can always go, he's guaranteed.
Guest:He's a bundle of fun.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You're always on your toes.
Marc:So what happens now?
Marc:When you go back to New York, you set up with people there to therapists and stuff?
Guest:Yeah, I have another set over there.
Guest:So whenever I'm here, I can do it here.
Guest:And whenever I'm there, I can do it there.
Marc:And when do you go back?
Marc:Are you going to go back to when's the season start?
Guest:Season starts, I think, September.
Guest:And you're in?
Guest:I'm in.
Guest:So I made it back.
Guest:So yeah.
Marc:You're going to figure out how to draw from the new diagnosis for your comedy.
Guest:Well, I'm so happy.
Guest:Now that I know that something is... I always thought something was wrong.
Guest:When you find out something is actually wrong, it's very reassuring.
Marc:But it's weird because a lot of borderlines are very manipulative.
Marc:and have very black and white thinking.
Marc:Did you have that stuff?
Guest:I think the manipulation thing I definitely had, where I would try to make someone feel a certain type of way, and then if they felt that way, I would feel good.
Guest:But if they didn't feel that way, I would think something's wrong and that they're mad at me.
Guest:So with words, I would try and sway people into saying the exact thing that I needed to hear.
Marc:But when you say you hate me, you don't really mean that, right?
Guest:Right, yeah.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:I'm like, you hate me, don't you?
Guest:And she's like, well, I'm like, you don't, you know, it's always like whatever, whatever question I ask, I'm expecting the opposite answer.
Marc:Well, that's interesting.
Marc:So like when, cause now I'm, now I'm just, I'm doing self therapy.
Marc:So like when you're with somebody who loves you, you're like, you don't love me.
Guest:yeah that thing and she'll be like of course of course i do and i'm like no you don't no i know something's up i know something's wrong and that could be very fucking frustrating for the other person oh you just drain them they're draining them they're just so strung out and tired of answering the same exact fucking questions you want to leave right yeah you want to get you just want to pack them and get the fuck out of here don't you yeah you don't love me anymore and then when they finally break down you're like okay i see i knew it yeah as soon as they have a break yeah
Marc:Or else you're like, all right, all right, sorry.
Marc:Come on.
Guest:Yeah, sorry.
Marc:I'm sorry.
Guest:I'm being crazy.
Guest:I'm crazy.
Guest:It's either I knew it or I'm okay.
Guest:I'm being crazy.
Guest:Don't go.
Guest:It's exactly what it's like.
Guest:I think I had it.
Guest:You had it?
Guest:I think I'm better, but I think I've avoided.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Well, that was helpful.
Marc:Well, it's great to talk to you, man.
Marc:And I'm glad you're being proactive in all this shit.
Marc:And have a good season.
Guest:Thank you, man.
Guest:Thanks for having me.
Marc:Well, that was heavy but beautiful.
Marc:A heavy but beautiful conversation with Pete Davidson.
Marc:I was very happy to have hung out with him.
Marc:We text occasionally.
Marc:It's nice.
Marc:Good kid, that kid.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:All right.
Marc:I think I'll play some guitar.
Marc:Yeah, I'm going to play some dirty.
Marc:You guys like this dirty shit.
Marc:I think that's my oeuvre.
Marc:That's my natural state.
Marc:Greasy guitar playing.
Marc:Hold on.
Guest:yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Marc:Boomer lives!