BONUS The Friday Show - Curb Appeal

00:01:12Marc:Susie Essman mentioned it on the episode that Larry David got upset at someone when he was doing comedy when the people in attendance did not know what a bungalow was.

00:01:24Marc:What is a bungalow?

00:01:26Guest:It's like a little housing thing.

00:01:28Guest:Like, you know, if you're staying, you know, on a resort campsite or something, they have bungalows.

00:01:34Marc:Oh, gotcha.

00:01:35Marc:It's like a gated community type of thing where- No, not even.

00:01:38Guest:It could just be like, you're like, hey, where are you staying at this resort?

00:01:43Guest:And you're like, oh, I got bungalow number three.

00:01:46Guest:Oh, gotcha.

00:01:47Guest:Okay.

00:01:47Guest:Gotcha.

00:01:48Marc:Gotcha.

00:01:48Marc:All right.

00:01:49Marc:It's a vernacular I'm not used to ever hearing, but it was fun to hear that Larry David was upset with his audience, that they didn't know it.

00:01:59Marc:That was a recurring theme, if you noticed.

00:02:02Guest:Yes, I sure did.

00:02:05Guest:I love that whole thing.

00:02:06Guest:But well, I mean, we're jumping way ahead here because we haven't even set up what we're talking about.

00:02:11Guest:We're talking about this week on WTF was Curb Week, essentially.

00:02:16Guest:Yes.

00:02:16Guest:And we had Susie Essman on Monday and Larry David on Thursday.

00:02:22Guest:And Chris and I have had lots of Curb thoughts in between.

00:02:27Guest:But I don't know, before we get into that, is there anything else from the week that you wanted us to talk about before we jump into Curb?

00:02:34Marc:Yeah, the...

00:02:36Marc:the bonus episode that you put up.

00:02:39Guest:Yes.

00:02:39Marc:The rarities.

00:02:40Marc:Yes.

00:02:41Marc:First of all, love that you're doing this.

00:02:43Marc:Like, was this a, a thing that you had in motion that you knew you would, you know, punch these in or was it like, Oh, this will be fun as a one-off.

00:02:52Marc:Like, are you going to do all of the, all of them?

00:02:55Marc:Oh, that's great.

00:02:56Guest:Yeah.

00:02:56Guest:Yeah, so it was a tricky thing because, as I mentioned briefly in the intro to that, these were episodes that were bonus episodes.

00:03:06Guest:It was like before we had any kind of way for us to make money, this was like an attempt to monetize the business.

00:03:14Guest:How much were they?

00:03:16Guest:I think like $3.99 maybe.

00:03:18Guest:Okay.

00:03:19Guest:Something like that.

00:03:20Guest:And and what we also were able to do was give it to people who did donations to the show.

00:03:29Guest:We were doing like a public radio model where we'd have like, you know, once every six months, like a fun drive, which Jesse Thorne was doing and continues to do with his Maximum Fun Network.

00:03:41Guest:And that was kind of what we were basing it on was like.

00:03:43Guest:Every few months we'd do like a call for donations and then we'd have a donation thing on the site.

00:03:48Guest:I don't know if you remember, it's like a regular part of Mark's spiel when he'd say goodbye to everybody.

00:03:53Guest:He'd be like, you know, thanks for listening.

00:03:55Guest:Go to our sponsor, Just Coffee.

00:03:58Guest:Kick in a few shekels for donations.

00:04:00Guest:And he would say that, kick in a few shekels.

00:04:02Guest:That was his thing of like...

00:04:03Guest:Yeah, throw us some money.

00:04:04Guest:And what we did was if you gave us like $10 a month, there'd be bonus stuff.

00:04:09Guest:You'd get a free t-shirt.

00:04:10Guest:You'd get, I think we produced a best of CD that we sent out to those people.

00:04:16Guest:And then there was like a tier that was like, oh, give us like $250 one time.

00:04:21Guest:And, uh, you can get all the bonus episodes we ever create.

00:04:25Guest:It was, it was, uh, like, you know, we, we, we were using these things as incentives to get people to, uh, support the show.

00:04:33Guest:But then also, uh, we wanted to have a revenue stream of bonus content.

00:04:39Guest:And, uh, we built this like separate website, separate to what WTF pod.com was so that we could have four pay audio files.

00:04:47Guest:It was, it was all very rudimentary back in like 2009, uh,

00:04:50Guest:to be able to do this kind of stuff.

00:04:53Guest:So that we did.

00:04:55Guest:And then once we started to get premium services where you could have like a paywall and the feed could be manipulated, okay, only, you know...

00:05:07Guest:10 episodes are available.

00:05:09Guest:Only 50 episodes are available.

00:05:10Guest:Now we have a situation where it's like thousands of episodes are available.

00:05:13Guest:But still, there are episodes behind a paywall.

00:05:16Guest:These ones were never in that bunch, right?

00:05:21Guest:If we wanted to put them in that paywall, we would have to, like, inject them separately.

00:05:26Guest:And two issues came up when we moved over to ACAST was like, one, if we just like drop them into the feed, like if I sent them to ACAST, for instance, I said, here's a bonus episode for you.

00:05:39Guest:Can you date them, backdate them to the dates they actually came out?

00:05:43Guest:So now they will appear in the feed, you know, as they are.

00:05:48Guest:If they did that...

00:05:50Guest:then it's like these are like out of sequence.

00:05:53Guest:So if you're trying to, if you're like saying, oh, I'm going to go through episodes one through 100 or whatever.

00:05:58Guest:Right.

00:05:58Guest:These would be like out of that sequence.

00:06:00Guest:You'd probably skip them because they wouldn't be under, like if you're searching by the word episode, they wouldn't come up as that.

00:06:07Guest:And then, you know, they're buried under...

00:06:12Guest:you know, 1,200, 1,300 other episodes, right?

00:06:15Marc:Right.

00:06:16Guest:But then the other problem is to just dump them in there in the new feed.

00:06:20Guest:They come without context.

00:06:22Guest:And like, I'm very opposed to that, right?

00:06:26Marc:Oh, yeah.

00:06:27Marc:Your preamble to this bonus episode was like the Leo in Django mean.

00:06:32Marc:Like, oh, you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention.

00:06:38Guest:Yeah, but I do think it was necessary because it's like...

00:06:42Marc:Absolutely, Doctor.

00:06:45Marc:It was definitely needed.

00:06:49Marc:It really put in perspective all the guests and how they were behaving.

00:06:54Marc:It really was like the Wild West on this live episode.

00:06:59Marc:Were those live episodes a headache to produce?

00:07:03Guest:Kind of.

00:07:04Guest:I mean, I think it was more of a headache once the show got rolling and became a thing that took up a lot more of our time on a regular, habitual level.

00:07:14Guest:Like, once we got the show to a point where we're dealing with kind of major guests, major partnerships, it's like a viable business and that.

00:07:23Guest:These live shows, which...

00:07:25Guest:essentially became unnecessary to us because we didn't need to like sell things a la carte and we didn't need to build these it's not like how did this get made where like the live uh aspect is a huge part of the experience as a fan and and it and then mark is touring more right as we get get along like he's the the show had its intended consequence which was to help mark as a touring stand-up and so if his fans want to come see him live that's where they come see him live you know

00:07:55Guest:And what we started to notice was like this just total diminishing returns on these live episodes where it was like, okay, but what we're really doing here is kind of cannibalizing the actual show where we like these people to come on and do a full interview.

00:08:10Guest:Mm-hmm.

00:08:10Guest:As opposed to these 10 minute bursts.

00:08:12Guest:Right.

00:08:13Guest:And then and then we'd like you do that with some guest and then you'd kind of lose something.

00:08:17Guest:It's just like what happened with Larry David in this week's episode was that you lose like some bit of the like spontaneity and freshness of it because you've already done this thing.

00:08:28Guest:Right.

00:08:29Marc:Right.

00:08:30Guest:So, yeah, we just kind of outgrew it, I would say.

00:08:33Guest:I wouldn't say we would ever say never again.

00:08:37Guest:We'll never do a live one.

00:08:38Guest:Maybe we will.

00:08:39Guest:We've experimented with having Mark do live one-on-ones.

00:08:43Guest:Sometimes that works out.

00:08:44Guest:It's been okay.

00:08:46Guest:It's not super ideal, but it's been okay.

00:08:49Guest:Yeah.

00:08:49Guest:And and yeah, again, this this goes back to like one of the things with our podcast is like we're not going to do things that compromise the nature of the show.

00:09:01Guest:You know, it's like how I spoke about this with video a couple of days ago, a couple of weeks ago.

00:09:06Guest:Like we realized like we could have made a ton more money if we turn this into a YouTube channel and had like, you know, generated like content all the time for YouTube in that soulless way.

00:09:19Guest:it makes a lot of money especially if you've already got the built-in audience that we do and we just were like that's that's like that is way out of our lane and we just don't like to compromise on that love it's very very i relate very much to stuff larry was saying in his episode about like i don't like to be told what to do when i know the thing i'm doing is right you know it's like

00:09:43Guest:If it's good for me, it's good for me.

00:09:45Guest:And I'm going to keep doing that.

00:09:47Guest:And that's why I have a career is because I do the thing that I trust my gut.

00:09:51Guest:Albert Brooks said a very similar thing.

00:09:54Marc:Yeah.

00:09:55Guest:So, uh, yeah, like I, I just think, you know, there's tons of people who like, it becomes like a major part of their, um, you know, their business, their revenue drivers is have live shows.

00:10:08Guest:It gets the brand out there, it gets fan engagement.

00:10:10Guest:And it's like, I see nothing in our numbers that shows us that like, it would in some way, you know, do anything big or great for the fortunes of this show as it exists right now.

00:10:21Guest:And so I'm just going to stick in the lane we're in.

00:10:23Guest:Gotcha.

00:10:24Marc:Well, I really enjoyed Mark, you know, doing his monologue on stage with people.

00:10:31Marc:And he has always had a problem with hotel staff, huh?

00:10:36Marc:What a deep runner of a joke that is.

00:10:38Guest:Here's what that made me realize about hearing that in here.

00:10:42Guest:It's like...

00:10:42Guest:It's much like, remember like with Matt B. Davis, how like Mark freaked out at that guy and it was like he poked him in his old places, right?

00:10:53Guest:And it was like, just like the old Mark, right?

00:10:56Guest:Like it's like, oh, you want proof that Mark hasn't changed?

00:10:59Guest:It's here.

00:11:00Guest:It's right here.

00:11:00Guest:Like this guy is like, you know, saying to him like, oh, you've changed, man.

00:11:05Guest:And Mark's like, no, listen, he is exact.

00:11:07Guest:Like the fact that he's getting in a fight with you on the air shows you he's exactly the same guy, right?

00:11:12Guest:And it's like, these things are embedded in his neuro pathways in that.

00:11:18Guest:I think like, he's just like, if there's something amiss at a hotel, it's like, these people are fucking with me.

00:11:26Guest:Right.

00:11:27Guest:And, and so it's some injustice.

00:11:29Guest:Right.

00:11:30Guest:And so now he's like way better off.

00:11:34Guest:He's, he can go to like nicer hotels and yet he still has this impulse that like this hotel is fucking with me.

00:11:42Guest:Like they put me in the room that's going to be the loudest fucking room or whatever.

00:11:47Guest:And it's just like it was very clarifying to hear it on this old episode.

00:11:50Guest:It's like, oh, that's just how he's geared like as a person.

00:11:54Guest:He's always going to be distrustful of this.

00:11:57Marc:Yes.

00:11:57Marc:Yeah.

00:11:57Marc:Hotel staff are always messing with you like without question.

00:12:01Marc:Like, of course, the crib is in the room because of my tantrum that I did.

00:12:05Marc:Yeah.

00:12:06Marc:Oh, man.

00:12:07Marc:I don't know about you, but Susie, Susie Essman.

00:12:12Marc:Hopefully I'm saying that name right.

00:12:13Marc:God damn it.

00:12:13Marc:It's a very easy name.

00:12:15Marc:Why am I so bad at talking?

00:12:17Marc:Essman.

00:12:18Marc:Essman.

00:12:19Guest:Right?

00:12:20Guest:Yeah, you could say S and man or Essman or whatever.

00:12:24Marc:What a dick I am.

00:12:25Marc:Anyway.

00:12:27Marc:Oh, Jesus.

00:12:28Marc:Can I...

00:12:29Marc:I just want to say she brought up the fact that she was on The Tonight Show and it was bad.

00:12:35Marc:Right.

00:12:36Marc:And I don't know about you, but I immediately paused the episode to watch that episode of The Tonight Show.

00:12:42Marc:And I got to say, she was fine.

00:12:43Marc:She was good.

00:12:44Guest:Yeah.

00:12:45Marc:So it's one of those.

00:12:46Guest:Yeah.

00:12:47Guest:I mean.

00:12:47Guest:Yeah.

00:12:47Marc:Well, yeah, I mean, she, you know, some of her jokes didn't land, but I mean, it was great.

00:12:52Marc:Also, Johnny Carson Tonight Show is such a fucking delight.

00:12:56Marc:What a difference it is now than it was back then.

00:13:01Guest:Oh, the vibe.

00:13:02Marc:The vibe.

00:13:03Marc:It really is a vibe.

00:13:05Marc:It is just...

00:13:06Marc:You're just hanging out with Johnny Carson, man.

00:13:10Marc:It was fascinating to watch a whole episode.

00:13:14Marc:But one thing I did also pick up on was I can't believe she was a drug dealer when she was a kid.

00:13:21Marc:That was shocking to me.

00:13:23Marc:And Mark was just like rolled over.

00:13:26Marc:I guess the drug dealers and comedians, it goes hand in hand.

00:13:30Guest:Yeah, I feel like when those kind of dark things pop up to him, he's like, oh, yeah, that's totally normal.

00:13:35Marc:Right, right.

00:13:37Guest:Yeah.

00:13:37Guest:Did you have any weird jobs when you were a kid?

00:13:41Guest:No.

00:13:41Guest:I mean, I had what I would consider the greatest possible job as a teenager.

00:13:46Guest:I lived near a water park and worked at the water park.

00:13:49Guest:So it was... You were like Adventureland.

00:13:52Yeah.

00:13:52Guest:Yeah, basically.

00:13:53Guest:And it was the most perfect job if you were a kid.

00:13:57Guest:Like you were basically doing what you would do at a water park, but you just worked there.

00:14:04Marc:So it was great.

00:14:06Marc:Gotcha.

00:14:06Marc:Okay.

00:14:07Marc:Yeah, I had a job in Staten Island, of course, where I was a courier for piss and blood between hospitals and labs.

00:14:18Guest:Meanwhile, you told everyone that was the ice cream truck.

00:14:20Guest:So now I don't know.

00:14:21Guest:It was also that too.

00:14:22Marc:We know what you were really delivering.

00:14:26Marc:No, this was in my shitty 1981 Toyota Celica.

00:14:30Marc:This was like a rust-colored car.

00:14:33Guest:I know exactly what you were, though.

00:14:34Guest:I've had that guy come over to my house.

00:14:38What?

00:14:39Marc:What?

00:14:39Marc:A courier for piss and blood?

00:14:41Guest:Yes, exactly.

00:14:42Guest:Why would you have someone?

00:14:45Guest:Well, why did they tell you?

00:14:46Guest:What'd they tell you?

00:14:48Guest:You just were told, go get that piss and blood, and you went and got it?

00:14:51Guest:Yeah, of course.

00:14:51Guest:It was my job to get piss and blood.

00:14:53Guest:You never thought to say, why am I picking up piss and blood from this house?

00:14:57Marc:Nah.

00:14:57Marc:No, no, it's from labs and hospitals.

00:15:00Marc:I never went to someone's house.

00:15:02Guest:But you would pick it up from the lab and take it where?

00:15:04Marc:To the hospital and vice versa.

00:15:08Guest:Yeah.

00:15:08Guest:Because I know that there are situations where a, you know, insurance agency or something like that will send someone to your house to get the sample.

00:15:21Marc:So for like drug tests?

00:15:23Guest:Yeah, drug tests or for life insurance or anything like that.

00:15:27Marc:Right, right.

00:15:28Marc:Gotcha.

00:15:29Guest:But I do remember that feeling of like, this dude just came and took my piss.

00:15:33Guest:Like just a guy.

00:15:37Marc:Just some moron with a t-shirt on just took my piss.

00:15:40Marc:Yeah.

00:15:41Marc:So that was me.

00:15:42Marc:And I got to say, I had a...

00:15:44Marc:Lovely time once.

00:15:46Marc:So I've been doing this job like two or three months.

00:15:48Marc:My card then died on me.

00:15:51Marc:Right.

00:15:51Marc:And I tried to fix it.

00:15:52Marc:And there was like this.

00:15:53Marc:I figured out that there was a connection to the battery that was like frayed.

00:15:58Marc:And there was like this rubber that I needed to like get rid of to make the connection.

00:16:02Marc:So I asked the lab tech for a scissor.

00:16:05Marc:Didn't have any scissors.

00:16:06Marc:He had a scalpel, though.

00:16:08Marc:And so he was like, oh, here, just use this.

00:16:10Marc:So I went and used that, and I proceeded to slice my fucking finger open.

00:16:16Marc:And blood gushing everywhere.

00:16:18Marc:I had to walk into the goddamn lab, bloody, and it, you know.

00:16:23Marc:They're like, hey, no, that's not supposed to come from you.

00:16:26Marc:Right, right.

00:16:26Marc:I'm delivering some blood.

00:16:28Marc:I think this guy got the job wrong.

00:16:32Marc:He didn't understand.

00:16:34Marc:So I had to be in an ambulance and get stitches on my finger.

00:16:37Marc:God damn it.

00:16:39Marc:So yeah, that was a nightmare of a day.

00:16:41Marc:But yeah, really, really enjoyed Susie with her drug dealer past.

00:16:46Marc:That's interesting.

00:16:47Marc:Also nice to know that Richard Belzer bought a house in France with his Hulk Hogan money.

00:16:54Guest:He called it Shea Hogan.

00:16:55Marc:Yeah.

00:16:56Marc:That's amazing.

00:16:57Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:16:57Marc:Did he ever do a Cribs?

00:17:00Marc:I don't know, but that would be awesome.

00:17:02Marc:Yeah, but I would want him to have like a shrine to Hulk Hogan there.

00:17:06Guest:Oh, speaking of that, somebody wrote in and said, you know, when we were talking about MTV Cribs, and I was saying there absolutely should be someone doing that today, like with, you know, just do MTV Cribs.

00:17:17Guest:Is someone doing that?

00:17:20Guest:But what they were pointing out was that the modern day Architectural Digest videos are essentially cribs, which I totally get.

00:17:30Guest:I watch those.

00:17:31Guest:I watch them a lot because they tend to be around my neighborhood.

00:17:35Marc:You had a guest on recently who I watched his.

00:17:39Guest:Peter Sarsgaard.

00:17:40Guest:yes maggie gyllenhaal yes yes so i get it fully about those uh different vibes architectural yes i i don't i don't actually don't care even if the vibe was the same as cribs i wanted to say mtv cribs i wanted to have the same camera work it looks like a hype williams video i want like you know weird things that like somebody opens the door and shows their shoe collection off and you hear like boom boom

00:18:05Guest:And they drop a bass, like a four to the floor beat on that.

00:18:09Guest:I want it produced exactly like MTV Cribs.

00:18:13Guest:And I should be able to watch that on my phone.

00:18:15Marc:Yes.

00:18:17Marc:Well, you need social media for that, my friend.

00:18:19Marc:And you apparently do not have that.

00:18:21Marc:You can send it to me.

00:18:22Guest:I rely on you for that stuff.

00:18:25Guest:There you go.

00:18:25Guest:All right.

00:18:25Guest:You know, Susie, I have a personal story about my interactions with her that could be its own Curb episode.

00:18:36Guest:Oh, really?

00:18:37Guest:Do tell.

00:18:37Guest:Yes.

00:18:37Guest:I mean, it's not funny like Curb, but it was nerve-wracking and anxiety-making like Curb.

00:18:44Guest:So when I was working on Rosie O'Donnell's radio show, as I mentioned, we would go up to her house in Rockland County.

00:18:52Guest:And we would, if we had guests that were coming into the studio, we would drive them up from New York, like send a car for them.

00:19:00Guest:And, you know, that come up like about an hour, probably an hour trip, two hours round trip or more if they're sitting in traffic.

00:19:06Guest:And so she had, we had booked Susie Essman to come on an episode.

00:19:11Guest:And the way things worked, we were in this house on Rosie's property.

00:19:15Guest:She had like five houses on her property.

00:19:17Guest:And this one house she was using just for the radio show.

00:19:21Guest:It was like we called it the radio house.

00:19:23Guest:And the second floor was where the studio was.

00:19:27Guest:And it was split with glass in this one big room.

00:19:30Guest:Rosie and her other on-air people were in one room.

00:19:33Guest:And then myself and the other producers were behind the glass.

00:19:37Guest:And if they brought a guest in, there was a booking producer who would tend to the guest downstairs and whatever, blah, blah, blah.

00:19:46Guest:And, you know, we could usually see cars arrive.

00:19:50Guest:I saw, you know, see, you see somebody arrive, they come in and, you know, the booking producers handling it all.

00:19:56Guest:And I remember this, this day where Susie came up and she was already there.

00:20:02Guest:And we're in this segment where Rosie takes a phone call from someone who was like,

00:20:07Guest:badly suffering from depression or I think there were, I don't know if it was the person was having suicidal ideation or that they were talking about someone who had died of suicide.

00:20:18Guest:It was a very serious phone call that was then thought to be like, let's have this conversation with this person and then brought it out for people who need help.

00:20:26Guest:with a mental health issue.

00:20:28Guest:It was a very rosy, typical type of thing to do, actually.

00:20:32Guest:It wasn't out of character, but it way changed the tone of what the show was.

00:20:36Guest:It was just from this phone call that had gone in a completely different direction.

00:20:41Guest:And so we're in there, we're on a break, and because we're on a break, I am focused on what we're producing in the studio, in the room.

00:20:49Guest:Right.

00:20:49Guest:And I'm like talking with keep that person on the line and let's get this other person.

00:20:53Guest:We asked, you know, somebody's name came up during the thing that we said, let's get that person.

00:20:57Guest:Let's call that person.

00:20:59Guest:Rosie just mentioned a friend of hers.

00:21:00Guest:So we're getting a person called on the phone that and I do see that Rosie has called the booking producer into the studio.

00:21:07Guest:And so I see her going, I see her talk to the person, and then they leave.

00:21:12Guest:And then Rosie, on her mic to me, while we're in this commercial break, says, I'm going to take this to the end of this break and then take it through.

00:21:22Guest:And I'm like, oh, so we're going to bump Susie?

00:21:26Guest:She's like, yeah, we're bumping Susie.

00:21:28Guest:And I'm like, okay, all right.

00:21:31Guest:And we go back to on air, right?

00:21:33Guest:And I'm like, all right, so she's bumping Susie.

00:21:36Guest:Does that mean we're bumping her to, we're going to tape this after, right?

00:21:40Guest:And we'll do a post-tape or something.

00:21:43Guest:And the booking producer, just as I'm about to like, we're back in the segment.

00:21:47Guest:I'm making sure that everything is running and I'm about to leave that room.

00:21:52Guest:And the booking producer comes in and she says...

00:21:56Guest:well, Susie's really pissed.

00:21:58Guest:You should probably, uh, you know, call because it's going to be a problem.

00:22:03Guest:I'm like, what do you mean call?

00:22:04Guest:And she's like, well, I just goodbye to her.

00:22:05Guest:And you know, she left and she's like really fucking pissed.

00:22:09Guest:And I was like, wait, she left.

00:22:11Guest:Like we could, this is a studio.

00:22:14Guest:We could tape that.

00:22:17Guest:So I fucking, you know, making phone calls.

00:22:19Guest:There's no, I'm not getting her on the phone.

00:22:21Guest:And I call her rep and tell, look, we could, if she wants, if she's not far away, just have to turn around, come back.

00:22:27Guest:We'll just record this.

00:22:28Guest:She was way too fucking pissed.

00:22:30Guest:So she, so she left.

00:22:32Guest:She went all the way back to New York.

00:22:34Guest:So then I had to get on the phone back in New York after, in the city, after we'd done the show and, you know, but offer my apology.

00:22:44Guest:I was the producer there.

00:22:46Guest:You know, I'm the, the,

00:22:47Guest:in charge and I shouldn't have, uh, had anybody tell you anything other than we would absolutely get your segment done.

00:22:54Guest:And I apologize.

00:22:54Guest:And, you know, she, she wasn't, you know, in any way unprofessional toward me, but I could tell she was angry.

00:23:02Guest:She had every right to be, she get dragged up at two hours out of her day for nothing.

00:23:07Guest:Right.

00:23:08Guest:And so that was that it was the end of my day.

00:23:10Guest:And then like a week later, Mark is like, I got these shows booked at comics.

00:23:17Um,

00:23:17Guest:And we have two shows booked and like we're going to do an early show and a late show.

00:23:22Guest:So let's figure out who we're going to get for these shows.

00:23:25Guest:And he starts amassing guests and that.

00:23:27Guest:And then he's like, oh, I got, you know, Jeff Garland is going to do it.

00:23:31Guest:So, you know, I'll have him ask Susie Essman.

00:23:34Guest:We could do them both on the show.

00:23:36Guest:It'd be great.

00:23:37Guest:It'd be Jeff and Susie.

00:23:38Guest:So sure enough, she gets booked and this is, this will be, you, you will hear this here on the full Marin in, uh, in a couple of weeks.

00:23:45Guest:Cause it's the third of those, uh, uh, rare bonus episodes that we did.

00:23:50Guest:It was called the night of many Jews.

00:23:54Yeah.

00:23:55Guest:And in fact, someone wrote in this week.

00:23:59Guest:It was Glenn Stoops.

00:24:00Guest:Glenn Stoops, who is a longtime fan of what we do, to the point where we did a little mini documentary on Glenn back during the Break Room Live days.

00:24:11Guest:He was a live character actor at the Statue of Liberty.

00:24:16Guest:He was playing the sculptor of the statue at Liberty Park.

00:24:20Guest:What?

00:24:20Guest:And we did a thing.

00:24:22Guest:We followed him around for a day and had Mark travel out to the statue.

00:24:26Guest:It was very fun.

00:24:28Guest:And he wrote in to say, why did we not air the Night of Many Jews the same week we had Susie on?

00:24:35Guest:And, you know, because she's on that episode.

00:24:38Guest:Right.

00:24:39Guest:And I said, you know, my answer to that is I'm going to go in order.

00:24:44Guest:Yeah, there you go.

00:24:45Guest:Live from comics.

00:24:46Guest:That was number one.

00:24:47Guest:Then there's a second one that was taped in Aspen.

00:24:49Guest:That'll go up in a couple weeks.

00:24:51Guest:And then the third one will be the Night of Many Jews.

00:24:54Guest:So that's coming.

00:24:55Guest:That's coming your way.

00:24:57Guest:But so we get to the Night of Many Jews.

00:25:00Guest:Yeah.

00:25:00Guest:And this is where like my two lives intersect because I walk in there and there's like it was really just like literally like, well, I can't be false.

00:25:10Guest:I can't pretend I'm somebody that I'm not.

00:25:12Guest:But there's no reason Susie ever had to know I was the person from Rosie's show.

00:25:18Guest:Right.

00:25:19Guest:But I was like, I got to tell.

00:25:20Guest:It's like my background.

00:25:23Guest:It's like I need to do full disclosure when things are happening, right?

00:25:27Guest:I can't do something and pretend that that wasn't the case.

00:25:30Guest:Because it's always like my thing that you're trained about with...

00:25:34Guest:news and with anything where you should be disclosing information is like it's way worse to conceal because if it gets found out later then then that's what everybody will talk about you hid this right okay and so it's like one of these things where if some how i'm you know have this thing i'm mark's producer hey how's it going and we have this great night and then she finds out later wait you're also that guy from rosie how come you didn't say anything to me right right i don't even say we've talked before or whatever so he's

00:26:01Guest:Just my general ethic on this is like stay above board and be open about it.

00:26:08Guest:And I go to the, the green room and I see Jeff and, and, and Susie and Jeff, he's, he's like an incorrigible guy.

00:26:17Guest:Like no matter what, like he's already like, he's just always trying to cause pranks and trouble and stuff.

00:26:24Guest:And it was good nature, but I was just like, he's just like a lot.

00:26:27Guest:So like he's there and I'm already nervous that I'm going to like meet Susie and have to like face to face.

00:26:32Guest:I'd never, I've only ever talked to her on the phone.

00:26:35Guest:But I'm like, I got to do it.

00:26:36Guest:I got to say what I got to say.

00:26:37Guest:And, you know, they're all very pleasant and that.

00:26:40Guest:And I'm like, and yeah, Susie, we have spoken before and I have apologized to you before.

00:26:48Guest:And because I am also the producer of Rosie O'Donnell's show.

00:26:52Guest:She looks at me and she's like, you're not Jeff Wald?

00:26:58Guest:And I was like, what?

00:26:59Guest:She's like, you're like 12.

00:27:01Guest:I know who Jeff Wald is.

00:27:03Guest:And I was like, oh, no, no, no, not her TV show.

00:27:07Guest:She thought I meant the TV show from when Rosie was on the TV.

00:27:11Guest:I was like, no, no, no.

00:27:12Guest:the radio show that like that you got bumped from and she's like oh she's like i talked to rosie like later that day we're totally fine everything's fine like she's like i oh she's like did you were you worried were you worried about talking to me she's like i i would never have held that against you i know rosie for 30 years i know that you you know it's a like

00:27:34Guest:you know what you know you never know what you're gonna get and like it's totally fine and rosie and i talked and we're okay and so like totally like pulled the pressure out on that but i was i couldn't have been more nervous to talk to her which and she is like she says on the thing she is not suzy green right like right but that's what i went into that i'm like oh she's gonna call me like a skinny fuck or whatever like you pencil neck dick motherfucker yeah exactly

00:28:01Marc:That's fucking hilarious.

00:28:05Marc:Oh, my God.

00:28:06Marc:By the way, did you notice the, I'm sure you did because you're you, but did you hear Susie mention one of our favorite lines from Jaws in the wild and sincerely when she was on The Tonight Show?

00:28:21Marc:No, wait, what?

00:28:22Marc:Oh, about I Got No Spit?

00:28:23Marc:Yeah, I Got No Spit.

00:28:24Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:28:25Marc:I love that.

00:28:26Marc:I fucking love that.

00:28:28Marc:Yes, yes.

00:28:28Yeah.

00:28:31Marc:Oh, man.

00:28:32Marc:That was great.

00:28:32Marc:But Larry David, being on your show, did, how did you, first of all, how did it come about?

00:28:39Marc:I know Mark, you know, has talked about, you know, he and Larry have been.

00:28:44Marc:And he was like, he's not going to happen, he thought.

00:28:46Marc:Right.

00:28:46Marc:So how did it turn into happening?

00:28:50Guest:It just, I mean, Larry just made good on the thing that he said.

00:28:53Guest:Like Mark was basing that on, you know, Larry, like, you know, not wanting to talk about certain private things when they did that live show and this and that.

00:29:01Guest:And he just assumed like, yeah, yeah, he said he'll do my show, but it's never going to happen.

00:29:06Guest:And he just made it happen.

00:29:07Guest:Like he, it just, he came through with his end of, yeah, yeah, I'll do your show if, you know, but we just can't use this live thing as the podcast.

00:29:16Marc:Which, I mean, the beginning of that episode.

00:29:20Guest:I know.

00:29:20Marc:I mean.

00:29:21Marc:Just so great.

00:29:24Marc:By the way, I remember that Air America interview with his ex-wife.

00:29:28Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:29:28Marc:Were you there for that?

00:29:29Marc:Yes, it was actually a Marc Maron show interview.

00:29:31Marc:So you probably heard it on tape.

00:29:33Marc:Oh, I guess so.

00:29:34Marc:But yeah, I remember that and just like being real awkward.

00:29:39Guest:Yeah.

00:29:39Guest:Well, Mark's remembering something.

00:29:41Guest:He's remembering something he felt awkward about, right?

00:29:43Guest:About the Cheryl thing.

00:29:45Guest:Yeah.

00:29:45Guest:But my memory is that caused no problems whatsoever.

00:29:49Guest:Right.

00:29:50Guest:Because she probably was like, oh, I get that all the time.

00:29:53Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:29:53Guest:But he got self-conscious and he thought that that did him in.

00:29:58Guest:And what he's remembering is that she was then super pissed after the interview.

00:30:02Guest:Yeah.

00:30:02Guest:And it was, and it became a thing.

00:30:06Guest:Like, it was like, she was like, she called me pretty angry.

00:30:10Guest:And, you know, we tried to get her booked back on and she wouldn't come back on.

00:30:15Guest:And it was, yeah, like, you know, it was a thing.

00:30:18Guest:And he's remembering that.

00:30:20Guest:He's remembering that a thing happened, right?

00:30:22Guest:He's not remembering what the thing was.

00:30:25Guest:And it was that, you know, at the time, this was Lori David.

00:30:28Guest:It's, you know, who Cheryl's based on.

00:30:31Guest:They're no longer married.

00:30:32Guest:And I don't know if you remember Lori David in the culture.

00:30:36Guest:She was like a big, you know, green environmental advocate.

00:30:41Guest:She was a big booster of like an inconvenient truth.

00:30:44Guest:She was, you know, out there with Al Gore taking that around to showing screenings and things.

00:30:50Guest:And I think it was like Lori David and Sheryl Crow were like partnered on some environmental initiatives and that it was very much, you know, celebrity eco advocacy.

00:31:00Marc:Yeah.

00:31:01Yeah.

00:31:01Guest:And there are certain, you know, I don't know what you want to categorize them as.

00:31:06Guest:There are certain people, even if they are, you know, sympathetic to being environmentally conscious.

00:31:16Marc:You'll never, if you don't meet them all the way, you fail short.

00:31:20Guest:Right.

00:31:21Guest:And even worse than that, they think that this is almost like a version of tourism or slumming it.

00:31:29Guest:They're not really investing in the problem.

00:31:33Guest:They're doing all surface level stuff.

00:31:36Guest:Right.

00:31:36Guest:And so one of the people on our show, on the Marc Maron show, Jim Earl, is exactly that type of person, right?

00:31:44Guest:Who thinks like this is all for show and you're not actually doing the things that need to happen.

00:31:51Yeah.

00:31:51Guest:And, you know, Jim was like supposed to be like the sidekick in that show and everything.

00:31:55Guest:But we allowed him a microphone that he could chime in whenever he wanted.

00:31:59Guest:It was it was we weren't like there's no limits on Jim or whatever.

00:32:04Guest:And he in the midst of that interview was like, you know, she was talking about like stuff like.

00:32:10Guest:you know, any people in their regular lives can do things to help the environment.

00:32:14Guest:Like don't keep your phone chargers plugged in.

00:32:16Guest:And I do think for like certain people like Jim, like that's a trigger, right?

00:32:20Guest:Like that, that is dumb.

00:32:23Guest:It will cost, it will result in zero actual carbon reduction and it does nothing for the world at large.

00:32:30Guest:And it just makes you feel good about having unplugged the charger, right?

00:32:34Guest:That's, that's what his mindset is on something like that.

00:32:37Marc:Yeah.

00:32:37Guest:And so he's sitting there listening to her say these things.

00:32:40Guest:And he's like, Laurie, I have a question for you.

00:32:42Guest:Do you eat meat?

00:32:45Guest:And she was like, you know, I reject like she knew where he was.

00:32:50Guest:You must be dealt with that.

00:32:52Guest:Yeah.

00:32:52Guest:I don't want to misquote how she represented herself, but she just, you know, brushed it off.

00:32:56Guest:Like, I don't I don't agree with that premise as a question.

00:32:59Guest:She knew exactly what he was doing.

00:33:01Guest:So I think there was already like a little bit of like tension there from that.

00:33:07Guest:But they had the rest of the interview.

00:33:08Guest:Mark takes it back in the reins and he, you know, says goodbye and everything.

00:33:12Guest:And then afterwards, they're talking about it.

00:33:16Guest:And Mark says to Jim, he's like, Jim, what were you doing?

00:33:19Guest:You're like hammering away at her because she's not a vegan like you.

00:33:22Guest:Like everybody's got to be like, you know, not enjoy their food or whatever.

00:33:26Guest:And Jim's just like, no, I'm just saying if you're going to be like an environmental advocate, again, don't want to misrepresent what he's saying, but he was basically saying factory farming is just a way worse situation for the environment than unplugging your chargers.

00:33:43Guest:Hmm.

00:33:43Guest:You know, he's getting all worked up about it and like that kind of Jim way.

00:33:46Guest:It was like almost like Jim's character.

00:33:49Guest:And and Mark's like, you know, kind of goading him a little bit.

00:33:54Guest:And he's like, oh, so, you know, you really took it to Lori David on this one, Jim.

00:33:59Guest:And he's like, Jim goes, yeah, she's a fraud.

00:34:02Guest:Oh, no.

00:34:03Guest:Oh, no.

00:34:05Guest:And like there's no way to explain because I got that was so that was it.

00:34:09Guest:That was why I got the phone call was phone call direct from Laurie David saying, you know, I came on your show and then you have this guy calling me a fraud.

00:34:18Guest:And I was like, he's a comedian and he's like everyone knows his character.

00:34:23Guest:Right.

00:34:24Guest:as this grumpy guy and him saying you're a fraud like no one thinks you're a fraud but like you can't explain like even me explaining it now you can't you just have to be like and that's why i was like listen can you come back on and we'll like obviously we're gonna apologize on the air but like come back on we'll hash this out and it just never happened she was just pissed

00:34:44Guest:So that was where the pissed offness came from.

00:34:48Guest:It was not that Mark accidentally called her Cheryl.

00:34:51Marc:That's hilarious.

00:34:53Marc:I mean, it's also on brand with Maren that he thinks that him calling her Cheryl is why she was pissed and just totally forgot.

00:35:01Marc:I got a million of those.

00:35:04Marc:I got a million of those.

00:35:05Marc:I bet you do.

00:35:07Marc:Also loved his, in his monologue, he's just like, yeah, nobody stops working.

00:35:12Marc:I don't get it.

00:35:13Marc:And like, I honestly don't think he gets it.

00:35:17Marc:And I'm going to put you in that as well.

00:35:19Marc:You guys have the best fucking job, you creative types.

00:35:22Marc:Like it's, you're not working with Excel documents or middle management.

00:35:27Marc:Like you don't have to get that report to that person who's waiting to do that thing.

00:35:32Marc:You got great.

00:35:32Marc:great jobs you don't tell me that the weight of everyday bullshit is just not in your life so of course yeah i'm gonna keep doing that great job so like i don't know i i i get a kick out of mark being like what are these people doing at this old age and working you know it's like

00:35:52Guest:But I agree with that.

00:35:54Guest:You should not.

00:35:55Guest:I don't care how creative and awesome your job is.

00:35:57Guest:You should not have responsibilities past a certain point in your life other than enjoying life.

00:36:03Guest:Like if you want to be creative and keep doing stuff, great.

00:36:06Guest:But be like Daniel Stern and go, you know, build bronze sculptures and whatever and take do everything you want to do.

00:36:13Guest:Live that life.

00:36:13Guest:But you shouldn't have to be answering to anybody.

00:36:16Guest:You shouldn't have to be worried about meeting some type of financial requirement for things.

00:36:22Guest:Like, get going.

00:36:24Guest:There shouldn't be this requirement on people for work.

00:36:31Guest:And I think I fully agree with that mindset of like...

00:36:35Guest:you should stop working.

00:36:37Guest:That doesn't mean stop doing, but you should stop this idea that like, Oh, you got to keep producing this idea that, Oh, if you don't work, you're going to die.

00:36:45Guest:Right.

00:36:45Guest:Oh, you're going to, right.

00:36:47Guest:That's horseshit.

00:36:48Guest:Like that is just, it's invented to keep people working.

00:36:52Marc:Well, I mean, look, when we're talking about like Nancy Pelosi or these crypt people that are 100 years old in Congress and Senate, like, yes, those people should go away.

00:37:02Marc:Like they should just retire.

00:37:04Marc:But like if you're Larry David and you're like, yeah, sure, I'll make another season of this show because I like hanging out with my friends.

00:37:11Marc:It's fun.

00:37:11Guest:Yeah, but it's never that.

00:37:13Guest:It's never just that there's stress on all of these things.

00:37:17Guest:Like Mark is stressed out every time he talks to a person on the show.

00:37:22Guest:It's not like it's not a it's just because it's a different job than manual labor doesn't mean it doesn't have an emotional toll and a physical toll.

00:37:33Marc:But, you know, not everyone, I'm not saying that Mark should continue doing this.

00:37:38Marc:I'm just saying, like, if you're a painter and that's your job and you love doing it, keep painting.

00:37:42Marc:You know, Larry David, you know, I'm sure he has some stress about having the show and, like, creating the show.

00:37:48Marc:But, I don't know, it feels like a ball.

00:37:50Marc:And it feels like he, I mean, he also has, like, Seinfeld money to fall back on.

00:37:55Guest:I can't believe he did it for as long as he did.

00:37:59Guest:That's my take on it.

00:38:00Guest:I'm like, you did it for 24 years?

00:38:02Guest:Now, granted, they let him take off two, three years at a time, so that I'm sure helped it.

00:38:08Guest:And so that's ideal in that regard.

00:38:10Guest:But still, to me, it's just too long.

00:38:13Guest:It's too long to do any one thing.

00:38:16Yeah.

00:38:16Marc:I don't know.

00:38:17Marc:I mean, it's that.

00:38:18Marc:And then Mark always has, he's been, he's been complaining about being in the trailer and like having to be on that, on the vinyl mattress, just waiting to say his lines.

00:38:29Marc:Yeah.

00:38:29Marc:You're getting paid to do nothing.

00:38:31Guest:But he just doesn't, it doesn't matter.

00:38:34Guest:He sent me, he sent me a picture here, wait, I'm going to, I'm going to send it to you as I explain it, as I describe it to everyone else.

00:38:40Guest:He sends me a text from the set and he goes, dumb life, this life.

00:38:45Guest:And I was like, what, acting?

00:38:47Guest:He's like, yeah.

00:38:48Guest:And then he sends me this picture, which is just him with his legs up on a counter, like in a trailer.

00:38:54Guest:And he goes, this is most of it.

00:38:57Guest:Stupid.

00:38:58Guest:And I go, for most people, that's called heaven.

00:39:03Marc:That's called not working, my guy.

00:39:06Guest:I said, or, and in quotes, getting away with grand larceny.

00:39:11Guest:Exactly.

00:39:12Guest:He's perfectly honest.

00:39:14Guest:He said, yeah, I'm just not that guy.

00:39:17Guest:And he's not.

00:39:18Guest:He cannot sit still.

00:39:21Guest:He can't.

00:39:22Guest:There's nothing wrong with that.

00:39:23Guest:That's a type of person.

00:39:25Guest:He's got to be doing things.

00:39:27Marc:Yeah.

00:39:27Marc:But I mean, he could be laying pavement, you know, like, I don't know, like, this is pretty, pretty great job to be, be laid up with a plasma television and just like sitting there waiting, waiting to say some words.

00:39:41Guest:I mean, I come on both sides of it.

00:39:43Guest:And it's like, obviously, it's one of the most charmed jobs in the existence of the world.

00:39:48Guest:You should be thankful to have it and, and

00:39:51Guest:But I can absolutely see that it's not for everyone.

00:39:55Guest:And in fact, I don't know that it would feel very rewarding.

00:39:59Guest:I don't know that I need to feel like I'm getting away with something.

00:40:03Guest:I don't know that I need to feel like I'm just stealing money for doing nothing.

00:40:06Guest:I need to be fucking fulfilled in my life.

00:40:09Guest:I it's the you know, I could do any other job than this.

00:40:13Guest:Right.

00:40:14Guest:But I choose to do this because it feels satisfying that it's mine.

00:40:18Guest:Right.

00:40:18Guest:That it's like I make it.

00:40:20Guest:I get to do this stuff and nobody gets to tell me what to do.

00:40:24Guest:Just like Larry said.

00:40:26Marc:Yeah.

00:40:27Marc:Yeah.

00:40:27Marc:I mean, it's, it's a privilege for sure.

00:40:29Marc:Cause like, I, I have like three jobs.

00:40:32Marc:Um, I'm definitely like, you know, feel, feel good about them, but like, I don't feel like it's a, you know, I'm, uh, I'm, you know, it's what I do and what I am.

00:40:42Marc:It's not, you know, the Noah's going to put on my gravestone, my job, you know, like it's just like what I do.

00:40:47Guest:But I think that's why, Mark, you know, to bring it all back around to what you said in the first place, if anything, I think it's more relatable to people that this guy is saying, God, when can I just stop?

00:40:59Guest:Because I think that's how most people feel.

00:41:01Guest:And it doesn't fucking matter what you're doing.

00:41:04Guest:You want to be able to just stop and be, be yourself, be not something that other people are telling you to be.

00:41:11Guest:Like, I don't care that it's a privileged job and it's a, you know, a thing most people dream about.

00:41:18Guest:It's still not you at your full agency.

00:41:22Guest:You're working for someone.

00:41:24Guest:And most people feel that way.

00:41:26Guest:Most people feel like I just want to have that, you know, day when I'm like, I'm retired and I'm going to sit in the pool.

00:41:33Marc:All right, well, it's approaching for Mark, so we'll see how it goes.

00:41:37Marc:Well, I mean, maybe, but I think he might not stop.

00:41:42Marc:Yeah, that's the thing, though.

00:41:45Marc:You were just saying he's a guy who can't sit still.

00:41:47Marc:Right.

00:41:48Marc:How is he going to...

00:41:50Marc:take the first month or first year and you're telling me he's going to be fine?

00:41:55Guest:I don't know.

00:41:56Guest:I don't know that he'd be fine.

00:41:57Guest:I think he's got to, like, I've had this conversation with him privately.

00:42:01Guest:He's got to know what he enjoys about life, right?

00:42:05Guest:Because I think right now it's like a shark where it's just moving forward because that's all it knows.

00:42:10Guest:And he needs to know what he likes about life.

00:42:14Guest:And that's a question.

00:42:17Guest:It's like a question that he's trying to deal with.

00:42:20Marc:Do you see that question come through with these interviews?

00:42:26Marc:Do you see him try to answer that with asking guests that question, or not so much?

00:42:34Guest:Oh, no, totally.

00:42:35Guest:When you're hearing him asking that to people about stopping that, he's trying to get answers.

00:42:40Guest:Yeah, I bet.

00:42:41Guest:That's everything on this show.

00:42:42Guest:This show is always him trying to get answers for himself.

00:42:46Marc:Yeah.

00:42:46Marc:I mean, I love that he was like, well, the first hundred episodes of this podcast was just having people over to talk about myself.

00:42:54Marc:And that's literally what he's doing with Larry David.

00:42:56Marc:He wants to know, what does a caddy do?

00:43:00Marc:Yes.

00:43:01Marc:Loved it.

00:43:01Marc:Just...

00:43:02Guest:absolutely loved it my favorite thing in the whole interview though is uh him explaining his uh pitch to uh the executives at uh wherever that was castle rock or nbc and it's like uh well what's the show gonna be well it's just could be topics you know like aids and abortion and fucking larry loses it and laugh like he laughed at the same thing i did which was just that the

00:43:27Guest:topics man come on these are topics like it actually made me think like that would be a hilarious like parody of a show that mark is doing like topics with mark maron like oh boy i wonder what these topics are um it's always great to uh to have mark be able to bust up a guest but oh yeah it happened a few times it really did which i just really enjoyed so much

00:43:57Marc:By the way, do you golf at all?

00:43:59Marc:Is that a thing that you do?

00:44:00Guest:I've done it, but I don't like it, and I don't choose to do it.

00:44:05Guest:My dad golfs, and so I've gone out with him.

00:44:07Guest:I won't say I can even do okay.

00:44:12Guest:I can get through a day of golf.

00:44:14Guest:That's where I stand on it.

00:44:16Guest:Do you not like it because you're not good at it?

00:44:19Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:44:19Guest:It takes way too much time, money, and work to get good at it.

00:44:22Guest:And some of it is, like Larry was saying, natural aptitude.

00:44:28Guest:You know, I lived near a lot of golf courses when I was a kid and a teenager.

00:44:33Guest:You never caddied?

00:44:34Guest:No, no, no.

00:44:34Guest:But you could go to the golf course pretty cheaply in, in upstate New York, like the public one, not a private club.

00:44:41Guest:And, uh, I would go with friends and we would just fuck around and golf and it was fine, but I never loved it.

00:44:46Guest:And you get in enough situations where there's some old asshole who's like, get off this fucking green, you know, just cause they're like taking it way too seriously.

00:44:54Guest:And I'm like, why do I need this?

00:44:56Guest:I'll just go to the park, you know?

00:44:58Guest:It doesn't, it doesn't cost $10.

00:44:59Guest:And, you know, uh,

00:45:03Guest:So yeah, I never really got into golf.

00:45:06Guest:And the last time I did it, maybe like three years ago, it was enough to be like, yeah, I'm not going to do this again, if ever.

00:45:14Marc:See, I would get into it.

00:45:16Marc:Like, it seems nice.

00:45:18Marc:It seems, you know, I love being in a well-manicured lawn.

00:45:21Marc:That sounds fun.

00:45:22Marc:Actually, my cousin's husband is like a great golfer.

00:45:25Marc:And I dropped hints that I want to get into golfing.

00:45:28Marc:And he like never picks up on the hints.

00:45:31Marc:And they're

00:45:31Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:45:31Guest:No, no, no.

00:45:32Guest:A great golfer is not going to want to bring your shitty ass along.

00:45:37Guest:Definitely not.

00:45:38Guest:No way.

00:45:39Guest:Yeah.

00:45:39Guest:Why?

00:45:40Guest:Oh, because the discrepancy is too big.

00:45:44Marc:Yeah.

00:45:44Guest:Too big.

00:45:45Guest:If you're good at it and then you're dealing with someone who's amateur at it, it's too much.

00:45:50Oh.

00:45:50Marc:See, I got better things to do.

00:45:53Marc:Yes.

00:45:54Marc:That's exactly my feeling.

00:45:56Marc:Yeah.

00:45:57Marc:I was shocked to hear that Larry was a bra salesman, just like a plot point in Seinfeld.

00:46:04Marc:I didn't know that that was actually a thing that happened.

00:46:08Marc:I don't think he invented the man's ear, though.

00:46:10Marc:No.

00:46:11Marc:I don't know.

00:46:13Yeah.

00:46:13Guest:also larry's been golfing with owen wilson so yeah it just came up what the fuck like how is that how is that possible well also the funny thing is it was like he was just golfing with him obviously because owen is trying to get good at golf for the show right and the connection didn't get made like right oh i'm doing this show with mark maron like just never came up like i can't imagine that

00:46:39Marc:Why'd you pick that song for this episode?

00:46:44Guest:Ah, well, there was a reason to pick it.

00:46:46Guest:I wanted to pick something that was quiet enough that you could hear Larry adequately because he was off mic.

00:46:56Guest:Oh, okay.

00:46:57Guest:Like there's, you know, even if I could bring any bit of music down, but if I start the segment out with something that's like kind of fast and driving, it's going to be very weird and noticeable to you that it's all of a sudden dropped out.

00:47:12Guest:But if I start with a softer piece of music...

00:47:15Guest:And I'm just kind of pulling that under and I boosted Larry a little bit, but like he was off mic and I thought it sounded fun.

00:47:22Guest:Right.

00:47:22Guest:I thought this idea of like him, you hear it like he's like, just kind of like walking around the garage.

00:47:27Guest:I'm like, Oh yeah, look at this place or whatever.

00:47:29Guest:So like, I wanted to leave that, but I didn't want to like make it sonically weird with the bumper music.

00:47:36Guest:Gotcha.

00:47:36Guest:I should point out that in Mark's monologue, he was bad-mouthing Canadian basic cable.

00:47:43Yeah.

00:47:43Guest:And I think it's more that he doesn't understand what he was watching.

00:47:49Guest:I don't think he was watching cable.

00:47:51Guest:It sounds to me that he has like one of those TVs.

00:47:55Guest:I have this myself.

00:47:57Guest:The TV is like a Google TV.

00:47:59Guest:Right.

00:47:59Guest:It's whatever that brand is, TCL or something.

00:48:03Guest:And it's got Google in it.

00:48:05Guest:And the Google, it has its own channels that you can just turn the TV on.

00:48:12Guest:And it's like Pluto TV.

00:48:13Guest:You know what Pluto TV is?

00:48:15Guest:Yeah, of course.

00:48:16Guest:Yeah.

00:48:16Guest:So it's like that.

00:48:17Guest:There's like a channel that will just, oh, it's the Murder, She Wrote channel.

00:48:21Guest:Right.

00:48:21Guest:And that's just playing.

00:48:22Right.

00:48:22Guest:And I think that's what he was on.

00:48:24Guest:Because if there's a 24-hour Conan channel, it's not like that's on all of Canada.

00:48:30Guest:It's specific to this TV's feature, right?

00:48:35Guest:Or like some old Western channel, right?

00:48:37Guest:So there's the Rifleman and Gunsmoke on there.

00:48:40Guest:I don't think he was watching like...

00:48:42Marc:some basic cable package that only shows this stuff and nothing else you don't you don't think canadians come to america and be like oh hey where's the uh where's the conan channel hey yeah right yeah you guys you guys are you know watching the rifleman what's going on

00:48:58Marc:you're right though yeah i think my tv has like ip and like these digital channels exactly that's what it is he's just on the menu and he was like well this fucking cable sucks but it was just the menu of the tv also i would have i would just bring my apple tv like i've done it before just well he said he got the chromecast but yes that's that's the thing if you if you and he has a mac so yes he should just bring apple tv

00:49:22Marc:Just bring it.

00:49:23Marc:You know, it's a cube.

00:49:25Marc:It's fine.

00:49:25Guest:He's fucking working for Apple.

00:49:26Guest:Just ask him to send one over.

00:49:31Marc:Yes.

00:49:32Marc:With some AirPods, like everything.

00:49:34Marc:Just send over the gift basket of Apple products, please and thank you.

00:49:40Marc:Exactly.

00:49:42Guest:Well, listen, we would be remiss in talking about Curb and Larry and Susie and all of this stuff surrounding Curb Your Enthusiasm if we didn't talk about some of our favorite moments from that show.

00:49:54Guest:Because I was thinking about it, and this goes right back to the episode we had several weeks ago where we talked about things that like...

00:50:02Guest:a part of our vocabulary now and our vernacular and just like cultural idioms.

00:50:08Guest:And I have things that I've taken from this show that are just now part of my life because the thing, it's so funny.

00:50:16Marc:I have particular moments that, uh, that, that really speak to me and, uh, like my core, like really just digs right to the core of who I am.

00:50:26Marc:But what, what, what are some of your, um, uh,

00:50:29Guest:curb moments that you you now have in your back pocket well the first one is really like it's because of how great the comedic interaction between the two people is and how it really just like spins into this amazing like energy that when i have been in situations with that energy i have said stuff from this scene that

00:50:53Guest:Because and some people have no idea why I'm saying it.

00:50:57Guest:And then if they do, it's like they think it's they're like, I can't believe that I said it.

00:51:03Guest:And it's when it's one of the earlier episodes when Leon is now living with Larry.

00:51:10Guest:So like the blacks are new to his house.

00:51:13Guest:And he comes home from having been at a doctor's appointment and some guy in the office was like, what the fuck are you looking at?

00:51:23Guest:And he called him like Jew boy and a gay slur and that.

00:51:28Guest:And he's like telling Leon and he's like, and Leon's like, oh yeah, what'd you do?

00:51:33Guest:And he's like, I slunk out.

00:51:36Guest:And he's like, you slunk out?

00:51:38Guest:He's like, yeah, I slunk.

00:51:40Guest:And so then Leon is like giving him this like,

00:51:43Guest:pep talk about like you can't do that larry you gotta like if somebody does that to you you gotta get in the ass and he like gets on this whole thing you gotta immediately get in somebody's ass when that happens to you you pull that asshole open step into the asshole close the door behind you take a spray paint can right larry was here

00:52:02Guest:You spray paint Larry was here, wash me, all that kind of shit.

00:52:05Guest:Fuck this whole asshole up.

00:52:06Guest:Eat some snicker bars, throw some paper on the floor, read the newspaper, roll the paper up the newspaper, and throw the newspaper on the floor.

00:52:12Guest:Fuck this whole asshole up.

00:52:13Guest:You know what I'm saying?

00:52:14Guest:Then you open that asshole one more time.

00:52:15Guest:Open it again.

00:52:16Guest:Open that asshole again.

00:52:18Guest:Step out his ass.

00:52:19Guest:And leave that motherfucker wide open so he know you've been there.

00:52:22Guest:Open it up.

00:52:23Guest:Step in.

00:52:24Guest:Step in the asshole.

00:52:24Guest:Spray paint.

00:52:25Guest:Now it was here.

00:52:26Guest:Leave garbage.

00:52:27Guest:Snickers.

00:52:27Guest:Eat Snickers.

00:52:28Guest:Leave garbage.

00:52:28Guest:Spit.

00:52:29Guest:Fuck it.

00:52:29Guest:Get out.

00:52:30Guest:Open it up again.

00:52:31Guest:Step out the asshole.

00:52:32Guest:Step out.

00:52:33Guest:Don't even close that motherfucker.

00:52:34Guest:Leave it open so he know you've been there.

00:52:36Guest:You feel me?

00:52:38Guest:I got you.

00:52:40Guest:And I have done that.

00:52:44Guest:Like if somebody, like I'm talking to somebody and we're like, like jazzing each other up.

00:52:48Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:52:49Guest:Right, right, right.

00:52:50Guest:Eat garbage, throw Snickers, throw Snickers, eat garbage.

00:52:55Guest:And it is just like that is one of those moments where I like what I loved about Curb was the ability for the show to confidently let funny people just be funny with each other.

00:53:06Guest:See where it goes.

00:53:08Guest:Like, I can't imagine anything that they said on that was on the page, but it just happened.

00:53:14Guest:It evolved to exactly what you saw there.

00:53:16Marc:Yeah.

00:53:18Marc:For me, I mean, look, Curb, for me, I loved Seinfeld growing up.

00:53:23Marc:So Curb was just like this revelation.

00:53:26Guest:Yeah, it's like a hundred proof Seinfeld.

00:53:29Marc:Yeah, yeah.

00:53:30Marc:It's like the uncut, you know, pure cocaine of Seinfeld.

00:53:35Guest:It's like yellow cake uranium.

00:53:38Marc:Like, oh, don't drop that shit.

00:53:40Marc:That'll explode.

00:53:42Marc:Yeah.

00:53:42Marc:So, like, this curb comes out and, like, I see myself in these scenarios.

00:53:49Marc:Like, he's like a scumbag, but also me, question mark.

00:53:54Marc:So, you know, it's just weird.

00:53:57Marc:Like, I see myself in Larry.

00:53:58Marc:I see myself in Mark's monologues.

00:54:01Marc:There's a part of me that just relates to these extremes that these people put out there.

00:54:06Marc:Yes.

00:54:06Marc:Uh, like I don't aspire to be like Larry or Mark, but like, by like my default settings of my being, like I would be like them, you know, like, like that, that's basically the, the charm of curb.

00:54:20Guest:It's just like, is a person looking at and going, Oh, that's me on TV.

00:54:24Guest:Yes.

00:54:25Yes.

00:54:25Marc:Yes.

00:54:26Marc:So the season where they do the Seinfelver reunion was like a dream come true for me.

00:54:31Marc:It was like my favorite things ever.

00:54:34Marc:My favorite, though, is the table read.

00:54:36Marc:And I just love Jason Alexander and Larry David sharing the screen.

00:54:41Marc:It's like Superman 3 where there's like a good Superman and a bad Superman and they're fighting.

00:54:47Marc:It's just great.

00:54:49Marc:But...

00:54:49Marc:The line that I think about and I say normally to pets, all right?

00:54:57Marc:But it's also J.B.

00:54:59Marc:Smooth who plays Mr. Black.

00:55:03Marc:Yeah, Leon Black.

00:55:05Marc:And he apparently has never seen Seinfeld before.

00:55:08Marc:And he's watching them do Seinfeld.

00:55:11Marc:And Newman comes in.

00:55:13Guest:Hello, Newman.

00:55:15Guest:Hello, Jerry.

00:55:17Guest:You wouldn't mind passing along to your friend George.

00:55:19Guest:This little fat bastard.

00:55:21Guest:Now that little motherfucker looked funny.

00:55:26Marc:Just great.

00:55:28Marc:I mean, God damn, that guy can say a line.

00:55:31Guest:Oh, there's one where it's when the season where Larry goes to New York and he just, you know, they just totally...

00:55:39Guest:figured out a way to have Leon there.

00:55:41Guest:Like it makes no sense, but it's like, oh, he showed up.

00:55:44Guest:And then he, Larry brings him up to his apartment and Larry's staying in this like nice penthouse.

00:55:49Guest:And Leon walks in and he's like, you're going to see, baby.

00:55:53Guest:I'm here.

00:55:53Guest:You got to tell people you're here sometimes, right?

00:55:59Marc:Oh, man.

00:56:01Marc:Also, Marty Funkhauser, Super Dave Osborne, like his joke that he tells to Jerry Seinfeld.

00:56:08Marc:Oh, my God.

00:56:09Marc:Well, the greatest of all time.

00:56:10Marc:Like piss your pants funny.

00:56:13Guest:Well, you know that they did not tell Jerry what the joke was.

00:56:17Guest:So he got that.

00:56:18Guest:So the laugh you see there is Jerry legitimately getting busted up by the joke.

00:56:26Marc:A woman is very scared of her opening.

00:56:28Guest:That's how he starts.

00:56:32Guest:Jerry, Marty Funk, how's it?

00:56:34Guest:Hey, Marty, how you doing?

00:56:34Guest:How you doing?

00:56:35Guest:Good.

00:56:35Guest:Want to hear a joke?

00:56:37Guest:He doesn't want to hear a joke.

00:56:38Guest:We have a read-through.

00:56:39Guest:Let me just get right through it.

00:56:41Guest:Okay.

00:56:41Guest:A woman's very afraid of the size of her opening.

00:56:44Guest:What is she afraid of?

00:56:45Guest:The size of her opening.

00:56:47Guest:So she goes to her mother.

00:56:48Guest:She says, what am I going to do?

00:56:49Guest:I'm so big down there.

00:56:50Guest:When I marry her, he's going to divorce me.

00:56:52Guest:Her mother says, don't worry, sweetheart.

00:56:54Guest:It runs in the family.

00:56:55Guest:Do what I did when I married your father.

00:56:56Guest:Go to the market, get some raw liver, put it in there.

00:56:58Guest:I'll never know the difference.

00:56:59Guest:Oh, my God.

00:57:00Guest:So she does.

00:57:01Guest:They have eight hours of sex after their marriage.

00:57:04Guest:She wakes up at 10 o'clock.

00:57:06Guest:He's gone, but there's a note on her pillow.

00:57:08Guest:It says, my darling Harriet.

00:57:09Guest:To think that I waited a year to consummate our love relationship makes my heart beat so loud and I'm surprised it didn't wake you up.

00:57:15Guest:The only reason I'm not here now, darling, is I'm at work to make enough money to buy you a house, a picket fence, we'll have dogs and children.

00:57:21Guest:Oh, this is not so bad.

00:57:22Guest:Oh, yeah, this is great.

00:57:23Guest:Will you finish the fucking joke already?

00:57:25Guest:When the five o'clock dinner bell rings, I will be home like the winged gossamer of your loving your arms, your loving husband, Harry.

00:57:30Guest:Oh, that's nice.

00:57:31Guest:P.S., your cunt is in the sink.

00:57:34Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

00:57:36Guest:Okay, you told your joke.

00:57:38Guest:Let's go.

00:57:39Guest:How good is that?

00:57:40Guest:It surprised me.

00:57:41Guest:It surprised.

00:57:41Guest:I had no idea it would be that revolting.

00:57:44Marc:Just, it's a, it is a, like, put it in the fucking Sistine Chapel.

00:57:50Guest:Tour de force.

00:57:51Marc:Holy shit.

00:57:53Guest:I have a Funkhauser thing that is, it's stuck with me for, it'll be with me till I go in the grave.

00:58:00Guest:And I think it's because it's the same thing with you.

00:58:02Guest:Like you look at Larry in some ways, and even though he's being inappropriate or he's a jerk, you're like, oh, I'm kind of like that.

00:58:09Guest:And I feel seen because I am, right?

00:58:13Guest:And a thing that followed me for a good deal of my life, less so now because I have better boundaries.

00:58:18Guest:But I was terrible at just not agreeing to things.

00:58:24Guest:And I was just a very agreeable person by nature.

00:58:28Guest:And I hated to disappoint people.

00:58:31Guest:And what that would amount to, I think a lot in my life were people, you know, probably taking advantage of me, but not in a, not in a way they were malicious about it, but they were totally like, well, this guy is a nice guy.

00:58:45Guest:I can ask him to do this thing, or I can ask this.

00:58:48Guest:And I, I found myself in situations where people were like, I was like, man, I'm like doing a lot of stuff with this person.

00:58:55Guest:And I'm like, I kind of barely know that guy.

00:58:57Guest:Like, that's weird that I am.

00:58:59Guest:And I realized, like, over time, it was, like, stuff that I was putting out that, like, kind of made that happen.

00:59:05Guest:And so I had to change that.

00:59:07Guest:But it was also, like, weird to me that I was like, I don't have the emotional investment in this person, but, like, they somehow do with me.

00:59:17Guest:Yeah.

00:59:17Guest:There is a Curb episode where the whole thing that gets into it's very complicated, but...

00:59:23Guest:Long story short is that Funkhauser's dead mother has like a roadside memorial.

00:59:30Guest:And Larry is in some situation with a private school administrator.

00:59:36Guest:And he offended her.

00:59:38Guest:And to make it up to her, he wants to bring her some flowers.

00:59:41Guest:I think it's to get the Greens kid into the private school.

00:59:45Guest:And he screwed up with this woman.

00:59:48Guest:And now she's probably not going to admit Susie and Jeff's kid.

00:59:52Guest:So he's going to go get her flowers.

00:59:54Guest:The flower shop won't break his 50.

00:59:57Guest:So he's driving by this roadside memorial, and he takes the flowers.

01:00:02Guest:And he goes and gives it to the administrator.

01:00:06Guest:And then he brings two other bouquets home and gives one to Vivica Fox and one to Cheryl.

01:00:12Guest:Yeah.

01:00:12Guest:And they're like, oh, Larry, that's so sweet of you to do this.

01:00:15Guest:And then Funkhauser comes over and he's in the house for like 30 seconds.

01:00:21Guest:And then he starts like sniffing.

01:00:22Guest:And he's like, are there flowers in here?

01:00:27Guest:And he like has figured out that Larry has stolen the flowers from his mother's roadside memorial just on scent.

01:00:35Guest:Oh, no.

01:00:36Guest:And he's like furious.

01:00:39Guest:Did you take the flowers at my mother's sight?

01:00:42What?

01:00:42Guest:What?

01:00:43Guest:They wouldn't take the 50 at the flower store.

01:00:46Guest:How could you do that?

01:00:47Guest:Why?

01:00:48Guest:There's so many of them.

01:00:49Guest:I didn't know it was such a big.

01:00:50Guest:So many of them?

01:00:51Guest:They're not there to pick?

01:00:53Guest:You are the lowest.

01:00:55Guest:I have never heard anything like that.

01:00:58Guest:How many flowers does she need?

01:00:59Guest:You took flowers from Marty's mother.

01:01:01Guest:Is that a graveyard?

01:01:02Guest:Well, not a graveyard.

01:01:03Guest:It's a roadside memorial.

01:01:05Guest:It's not such a... Come on.

01:01:06Guest:How could you do this?

01:01:07Guest:And you know what?

01:01:08Guest:I am missing one.

01:01:10Guest:Where's the third bunch?

01:01:13Guest:There were three bouquets.

01:01:15Guest:I know where it is.

01:01:16Guest:He will get you that bouquet.

01:01:19Guest:I feel sorry for you.

01:01:22Guest:If you weren't my best friend, I would take my bare hands and pop your head off your neck.

01:01:30Guest:He's not my best friend.

01:01:38Guest:I was like, that was not the funniest scene.

01:01:41Guest:I've never felt more akin to Larry David than in this moment.

01:01:47Marc:Oh, man, I've had so many, like, curb moments in my life that are just cringe-inducing.

01:01:53Marc:What are some of them?

01:01:55Marc:Oh, man, where to begin?

01:01:57Marc:All right, my first Christmas with my girlfriend's now wife's family, they have all these, like, stupid Swedish traditions, and they're, like, all awful.

01:02:08Marc:Like, they pick up tripe.

01:02:10Marc:Do you know what tripe is?

01:02:11Marc:Yeah, it's guts.

01:02:12Marc:Yeah, it's the edible lining of stomachs of farm animals.

01:02:16Marc:Yeah.

01:02:17Marc:It's like, it's disgusting.

01:02:18Marc:And they have it every year and no one eats it.

01:02:23Marc:Anyway, so they have that.

01:02:24Marc:They have kielbasa, but they call it kielbasa because they think that's the right way to say it.

01:02:30Marc:It is not.

01:02:31Marc:But they also don't cook the kielbasa.

01:02:33Marc:So it's just a tube of cold meat that's sitting on there.

01:02:37Marc:And then...

01:02:38Marc:My wife's sister, Christine, she makes these traditional Swedish Cinnabons, all right?

01:02:43Marc:Now, when I say Cinnabons, what are you thinking?

01:02:46Guest:Like a little spirally pastry with cinnamon in it.

01:02:50Guest:Frosting, right?

01:02:51Guest:The frosting on top, yeah.

01:02:53Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:02:53Marc:Gooey, chewy, moist, right?

01:02:56Marc:Yeah, yeah.

01:02:56Marc:So that's what I'm thinking, too.

01:02:59Marc:My girlfriend is talking about these Cinnabons the entire week leading up to this Christmas.

01:03:04Marc:Christine brings these Cinnabons.

01:03:06Marc:And they're these small, hard, no glazed abominations of the word Cinnabon.

01:03:13Marc:All right.

01:03:14Marc:And so I'm taking a break from the family.

01:03:16Marc:I'm in the kitchen and I decide to try one of these things.

01:03:18Marc:I bite into this hard Cinnabon and I just spit it out and throw it in the trash.

01:03:23Marc:All right.

01:03:24Marc:Well, my girlfriend's sister sees all of this and keeps it to herself.

01:03:30Marc:Later on, we're all talking about, like, dinner and dessert and, like, what was everyone's favorite dish.

01:03:36Marc:And Christine asks, hey, what did you think of those Cinnabons?

01:03:39Marc:And I was polite, and I said, you know, I never had one like it.

01:03:43Marc:It was very good.

01:03:44Marc:And she screams, liar!

01:03:46Marc:I saw you throw it in the trash!

01:03:49Marc:And she was actually a good sport about it, though.

01:03:52Marc:Like we were laughing and she was laughing.

01:03:54Marc:So it was OK.

01:03:55Marc:But I felt like I had just stepped in a big pile of shit the first year at Christmas.

01:04:03Guest:Yeah.

01:04:03Guest:It's not even like it had been, you know, you had established yourself.

01:04:07Marc:No, no.

01:04:08Marc:This is like this is like the second time I ever met her.

01:04:11Marc:Yeah.

01:04:12Marc:Oh, my God.

01:04:13Marc:Yeah.

01:04:14Marc:How about you?

01:04:15Marc:Do you have any other ones?

01:04:16Guest:I you know, it's funny.

01:04:17Guest:You asked me this during the week.

01:04:19Guest:And it's like because there's tons of things in my life that I was like, I've been where I've been embarrassed, but I don't think they like elevate to curb level.

01:04:28Guest:There was one also where this time where I remember going to a party, I was invited to a party that I thought was on a particular block and I was on the wrong block and went into a totally wrong home and went all the way in.

01:04:45Guest:But the problem with that story is it's missing the beat where I was found out like that.

01:04:50Guest:Like I realized it like, oh, my God, I'm in the wrong place and ran me and my wife.

01:04:55Guest:We ran out of there.

01:04:56Guest:And that's kind of funny story to tell when you get to the other location.

01:05:00Guest:But it's missing that curb beat.

01:05:03Marc:Yeah.

01:05:04Guest:Right.

01:05:04Guest:Yeah.

01:05:04Guest:Well, I thought to myself, the closest thing I have on this was when I got in the elevator with OJ.

01:05:11Marc:Oh, please, please tell the story of you getting into an elevator with OJ Simpson.

01:05:17Guest:Yes.

01:05:17Marc:RIP.

01:05:18Guest:So this was in 2002.

01:05:19Guest:No, not RIP.

01:05:22Guest:But I was at a bachelor party in Atlantic City.

01:05:29Guest:Never goes well, any of those combinations of words.

01:05:33Guest:And the room that we were in, we were in a suite and it was like the party suite.

01:05:40Guest:And we were down.

01:05:41Guest:Let's let's say we're in this hotel that this was in the let's call it the sixth floor.

01:05:46Guest:We were in this suite and our room was on the 18th floor.

01:05:50Guest:And I had forgotten some photo of the guy who was getting married that had brought with me.

01:05:55Guest:Oh, it's up in the room.

01:05:57Guest:I'll go get it.

01:05:57Guest:So I go up by myself, go to the room, get the thing, 18th floor, right?

01:06:02Guest:So now I come back to the elevator, hit down.

01:06:05Guest:Yeah.

01:06:06Guest:And, and this is like a 20 story hotel.

01:06:09Guest:So there's only like two stories above us, probably the penthouse suite.

01:06:12Guest:Right.

01:06:13Guest:Yeah.

01:06:13Guest:And, uh, the door opens and inside the elevator is Orenthal James Simpson.

01:06:22Guest:Unmistakable.

01:06:22Guest:Like as the doors opened, I see OJ, uh,

01:06:26Guest:and wait wait wait this is after the uh the seven years after yeah it's 2002 okay yeah yeah yeah okay it was the night of it that night there was an evander holyfield boxing match in atlantic city um and that was that must have been why he was there was you know there's at least some to do going on yeah and uh

01:06:49Guest:And so, yes, OJ... There were three people now on the elevator as I walked in.

01:06:54Guest:Me, OJ, and some 20-something-looking blonde woman who looked exactly like the wife he killed.

01:07:01Guest:No!

01:07:02Guest:Yes.

01:07:03Guest:Yes.

01:07:04Guest:And... Oh, my God.

01:07:05Guest:I don't know if she was being paid for her services that night or if she was an actual girlfriend or something, but regardless, she looked exactly like Nicole Brown Simpson.

01:07:16Guest:Yeah.

01:07:16Guest:And I was, so I got on the elevator and I'm like, fuck, I'm on the fucking elevator with OJ.

01:07:22Guest:And like, I kind of like scooted myself all the way to the side and faced the buttons.

01:07:29Guest:And OJ and his friend were on like the other side of the elevator and they waited over there.

01:07:36Guest:And like, it was like, you could feel everything.

01:07:40Guest:everyone's eyes on each other while no one was looking at each other, right?

01:07:44Guest:Oh my God.

01:07:44Guest:I just felt it.

01:07:46Guest:And I was just like, all right, bing, six.

01:07:49Guest:All right, let's just get down to the floor.

01:07:51Marc:It's like a, it's like a blind Mexican standoff is happening.

01:07:54Guest:Yes, but we were on floor 18 and we're going down to floor six and this elevator now stopped at every floor.

01:08:04Marc:Wait, wait, when you leaned up against the thing, did you do the elf where you just press all the buttons?

01:08:10Guest:No, but what kept happening was, and I don't know why I didn't think to do this, but now I could, this is where the curb part of this comes in.

01:08:21Guest:So the reason it stopped on every floor is,

01:08:25Guest:was that the next floor, a guy like, just like me, gets on.

01:08:30Guest:And he does what I did, like, you know, probably physically recoiled that he's on the elevator with OJ.

01:08:35Guest:What floor does he hit?

01:08:37Guest:The next floor.

01:08:39Guest:He's like, get me out of this place, right?

01:08:42Guest:So he gets out.

01:08:43Guest:And now I'm like,

01:08:44Guest:do I just run out of the elevator?

01:08:46Guest:Like, like, like now do I look like I'm running from OJ?

01:08:51Guest:Like, do I like, is that what I want to happen?

01:08:54Guest:Or do I just ride this out and ride with OJ?

01:08:57Guest:Right.

01:08:58Guest:And so that guy gets out and then we keep riding and then the doors open and it's these three sweetest little African-American old ladies that you could ever meet.

01:09:09Guest:Get on the elevator.

01:09:10Guest:Like, like three grandmas.

01:09:13Guest:Yeah.

01:09:13Guest:And they're standing like next to me.

01:09:16Guest:Oh no.

01:09:17Guest:But they're looking over.

01:09:19Guest:Oh my God.

01:09:20Guest:And they're like, like whispering to each other.

01:09:26Guest:And then one of them like looks at him and it's like,

01:09:29Guest:are you, you're, what's your name?

01:09:33Guest:And he's like, I'm OJ.

01:09:36Guest:And they're like, yeah, you are.

01:09:38Guest:I thought you were.

01:09:39Guest:And now it's like, like this play acting of like, I thought that's who you were.

01:09:45Guest:You looked kind of familiar, but they like totally knew he was.

01:09:49Guest:And now it's like, I have to know that I know, like now everyone knows he's OJ, right?

01:09:55Guest:Well, guess where they got out?

01:09:57Guest:Like two more floors.

01:09:59Guest:So now it's just me and OJ again.

01:10:03Marc:And the blonde lady.

01:10:05Guest:Yes, who said nothing the whole time, by the way.

01:10:09Guest:Oh my God.

01:10:10Guest:So I finally get out.

01:10:11Guest:Now, also keep in mind, I'm by myself.

01:10:15Guest:I get out and I go into this bachelor party and they're like, what took you so long?

01:10:20Guest:You just had to go get a picture.

01:10:23Guest:And I'm like...

01:10:25Guest:I just rode the elevator down with OJ the whole time.

01:10:28Guest:And they're like, that's the dumbest lie anyone could come up with.

01:10:33Guest:Like why of all the lies you would make, why would you say you came down with OJ and like, thank God.

01:10:42Guest:that like the next day or something, there was a, you know, it was like the, the, the story of the fight in the newspaper.

01:10:51Guest:And it was like, he was there.

01:10:53Guest:Exactly.

01:10:54Guest:He got ID'd as in the crowd.

01:10:55Guest:Cause otherwise there was no one that was ever going to believe that story.

01:11:00Guest:And my like very long elevator trip with OJ.

01:11:04Guest:And so, yes, that was the one thing in my life where I was like, I don't know that I would necessarily say it was exactly curbish, but it was definitely like,

01:11:12Marc:awkward situation comedy and i could see larry factoring it into his show somehow although he probably would have said something yeah yeah probably probably all right i got one more story you you you okay for one more story yes let's hear it all right i i worked at sam goody as a kid in uh yes journey songs and yes with the journey and everything so

01:11:38Marc:I had one of these low-life Staten Island friends who would constantly be trying to convince me to help him steal CDs and just put them in the bag and I won't pay for them.

01:11:51Marc:And I was like, no, leave me alone.

01:11:54Marc:But he just kept on bugging me, kept on bugging me.

01:11:57Marc:So I was like, you know what?

01:11:58Marc:Fine.

01:11:59Marc:I finally relented, had him come in, you know, the next time he had a couple of CDs.

01:12:05Marc:I, you know, didn't scan them.

01:12:08Marc:I, you know, he paid for a single and out the door he went.

01:12:13Marc:So I helped him steal CDs from Sam Goody.

01:12:17Marc:So this fucker calls the store afterwards to thank me.

01:12:22Marc:The only problem is, as I pick up the phone, my boss picks up the phone at the same exact time as me.

01:12:29Marc:And here's everything.

01:12:31Marc:All right?

01:12:32Marc:Oh, dude, thanks so much.

01:12:33Marc:Can't believe we got away with that.

01:12:35Marc:Blah, blah, blah.

01:12:37Marc:And my boss was heartbroken because I'm a really good employee.

01:12:42Marc:Yeah.

01:12:42Marc:And she was just like, how could you do this?

01:12:44Marc:I was just like, I'm sorry.

01:12:46Marc:And I made him like, come back, return the CDs.

01:12:50Marc:And I was let go from my job at Sam Goody.

01:12:52Guest:Oh, that was the end of that?

01:12:54Marc:Yeah.

01:12:55Guest:Well, I guess there's no other outcome to that.

01:12:57Guest:No.

01:12:58Guest:They're not like, eh, slap on the wrist.

01:13:01Guest:Right, exactly.

01:13:01Marc:That's Sam Goody.

01:13:02Marc:This is your warning.

01:13:03Marc:Yeah.

01:13:04Marc:But yeah, I was found out.

01:13:06Marc:No, it's Sam Goody.

01:13:09Marc:That's Sam Batty.

01:13:10Guest:Right.

01:13:12Guest:Well, you know, as you're telling this, though, I do realize that all of these actually pale in comparison to your one real curb story that you have already told.

01:13:23Guest:Right.

01:13:24Guest:Your Park Slope food co-op banning is like from the show, like it might as well be an episode.

01:13:30Marc:That's true.

01:13:31Marc:Yeah.

01:13:31Marc:I think that's why I love this show so much.

01:13:35Guest:Yeah.

01:13:35Marc:Because I just, I've lived it.

01:13:37Marc:You know, it feels so, it feels like an old pair of slippers, you know?

01:13:41Guest:Yeah.

01:13:42Guest:Yeah.

01:13:42Guest:Well, get in that ass, Larry.

01:13:46Marc:Snickers bar.

01:13:47Marc:Snickers.

01:13:48Marc:Throw Snickers.

01:13:49Marc:Garbage.

01:13:49Marc:Throw garbage.

01:13:51Marc:I'd love to hear other people's embarrassing stories.

01:13:54Guest:Definitely.

01:13:55Guest:If people have their own stories that could have easily slipped into any one of the 12 seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm, please let us know in the episode description.

01:14:05Guest:Next week, it is the cusp of Father's Day.

01:14:09Guest:And I have a little idea that, Chris, I haven't discussed this with you yet, but I would like us to help.

01:14:13Guest:all dads out there with some suggestions okay so uh this will be a specific to father's day but i think everyone will enjoy it uh and just go in the cradle in the silver spoon yeah that sort of stuff it won't be karaoke no that will not be uh but uh but until then i'm brendan and that's chris peace