BONUS The Friday Show - Snowman's Land
Marc:He then has a sentient snowman following him to school.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Like he doesn't.
Guest:That's the moment where you're like, hey, kid, you don't need to go to school today.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Right.
Marc:You call the cops.
Marc:You call the press.
Guest:Or nothing.
Guest:Or you hunker down.
Guest:You're like, we're going to figure this shit out because I'm going to be rich.
Guest:I'm going to be the guy who discovered the talking snowman.
Guest:chris brendan you will believe a man can melt so so crazy melting well there's a lot of crazy stuff but um the melting the melting is i think the craziest because as we'll get into i don't understand why it's a problem and what we are talking about is the 1998 holiday classic jack frost yes
Guest:I mean, I call it a classic only because it is classically derided as a terrible film.
Marc:Although this movie poster has been in my life for in my brain for some reason.
Marc:I don't know why it's been like that, but I remember this movie poster.
Guest:Like, I mean, I only remember the poster because like, I didn't know what it was prior.
Guest:Like it wasn't like one of those things where like, and I w I was a subscriber to premier magazine.
Guest:I subscribed to entertainment weekly.
Guest:And, uh, and so, you know, you'd get things and be like,
Guest:Oh, this movie's coming out.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Never.
Guest:And I had no idea that what this movie was.
Guest:And I remember seeing the poster at the movie theater, like in the panel of coming soon movies.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Probably.
Guest:Let's imagine it was like September.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And it's like, here's the poster for stuff that's coming out at Christmas time.
Guest:Yep.
Guest:Bugs life.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:Whatever.
Marc:Right.
Guest:And then here's this thing.
Guest:There's Michael Keaton.
Guest:Oh, hey, Batman.
Guest:What's he up to?
Guest:And it's Christmas type of movie.
Guest:It says Jack Frost.
Guest:And there's him with this... Next to this fucking homunculus.
Guest:Like, what?
Guest:It's like a...
Guest:weirdest looking snowman i've ever seen but like i remember studying the poster and i i swear to you that my thought at the time was
Guest:does he become the fucking snowman?
Guest:Like based on nothing other than a poster of him and the snowman.
Guest:And it was called Jack Frost.
Guest:And I was like, I just knew it from the poster.
Guest:Wait a minute.
Guest:He becomes that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He quantum leaps into the snowman.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:There was no other investigation needed.
Guest:Like I was just like convinced by this poster, this is going to be a movie where he is that.
Yeah.
Guest:Yes, and you were right.
Guest:It is, in fact, what happened.
Guest:I was totally right.
Guest:And for that reason, and then when it came out and everyone said it was terrible, I have never watched it.
Guest:Yes, same.
Guest:And I guess you are the same.
Guest:And frankly, I don't know anyone who has watched it.
Marc:I've never met a person who has watched Jack Frost.
Marc:Yeah, I've never met a human or snowman who has watched Jack Frost.
Guest:No, snowmen are like, this is fucking bullshit.
Guest:Don't believe Jack Frost.
Guest:They're like frozen fine.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Like, you know, the carrot goes through his face and out the back.
Guest:That happens to us all the time.
Marc:But this is a bridge too far.
Guest:So, yes, we were inspired by Owen examining Home Alone 3 as a movie that he had never seen and now adding it into his Christmas rotation.
Guest:Chris and I thought, maybe we can do this for some other movie.
Guest:And we both decided to watch Jack Frost, which we will find out soon why, because I don't know why yet.
Guest:Chris watched this twice.
Guest:I did watch it twice.
Guest:Can you tell me up front, or is this going to be a reveal?
Marc:No, I watched it twice because, I mean, honestly, I take this fun thing that we do seriously.
Marc:And I watched it on my phone once, and I was like, you know, I think I should put this up on the big screen.
Marc:And when I put it up on the big screen and watched it again, I noticed that...
Marc:The blocking in this movie is in such a way that none of the actors are ever in the same scene with Michael Keaton.
Marc:And it's like a hide the ball trick for the entire part of the movie when he is a human.
Marc:When he's a snowman, it's a different story.
Marc:But when he's a human, he's not actually on set.
Marc:They're acting with his body double.
Guest:Well, now, wait, but, okay, when you say he's not on set, so, like, okay, the movie opens, he's with his band.
Guest:You're telling me he's not with the band?
Marc:No, no, no, no.
Marc:Look, he's with the band, okay, but with his family and with his best friend, quote-unquote best friend, never in the same shot at all, okay?
Marc:By the way, them on stage are so sweaty.
Marc:Yes, why is that guy sweating?
Marc:He's just playing keyboards.
Marc:Right?
Marc:Like, are they melting?
Marc:Is this part of it?
Marc:Are they all snowmen?
Marc:That's what it was.
Marc:It was foreshadowing.
Guest:All right.
Guest:So wait, we should start off by establishing what this is.
Guest:And if you'd like to watch it, it is on Hulu.
Guest:And it apparently is nowhere else.
Guest:Because I don't know if you noticed this when you watched it on Hulu, when you blew it up onto your TV.
Uh-huh.
Guest:hulu is using a film print of this like yeah like i noticed it because there's so much snow well really like fake snow they're like on a set somewhere right but like there there there's film grain that you can really see in the white of the snow and it's like it's not even like subtle like there's lots of little pops and blips and that i'm like no one has touched
Guest:this movie in almost 30 years like like the like everyone having anything to do with it licensing wise the studios like there is no high demand for like a 4k re-release of jack frost never so hulu they got a film print turned digital amazing amazing so yes
Guest:So you're watching this movie.
Guest:It opens up with Michael Keaton in a in a bar and they're his band, the Jack Frost band, which you find out is his real name.
Guest:Like the family's name is Frost.
Guest:The kid's name is Frost.
Guest:The wife's name is Frost.
Guest:And he's Jack Frost.
Marc:I mean, it's obviously a fake name, right?
Marc:Like, this is a second identity that this guy, this real person has, right?
Guest:Well, apparently he's a total ghost because he's not even there with his family in the shots.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But what would you describe their musical stylings as?
Marc:Oh, like Christmas-themed, like, rockabilly?
Marc:Yeah, Christmas-themed bar blues.
Marc:Yes, yeah, yeah.
Marc:And they sing a Frosty the Snowman song.
Guest:Yeah, but it's like the worst of Dan Aykroyd doing the Blues Brothers.
Marc:Oh, without question.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:It's something you would say at the House of Blues.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:So the whole premise of this movie is around that the Jack Frost band is so good that they are right on the cusp of being signed by a major label.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:To the point that they do the Back to the Future bit where a guy in the audience plays
Guest:Yeah, Dweezil Zappa is in the audience.
Marc:Oh, no kidding.
Marc:That's the Zappa?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:There's three fucking Zappas in this movie.
Guest:Is Boone in there?
Guest:So Dweezil is the guy who holds the phone up and goes, we got to sign these guys.
Guest:Listen to this.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Then there's a recurring thing of a guy driving a snowplow around.
Guest:That's Dweezil's brother, Ahmet.
Guest:Oh, no kidding.
Guest:And then I'm watching this movie and all of a sudden I'm like, what's Mark's ex-girlfriend doing in this movie?
Guest:Moon Zappa comes out as the teacher.
Guest:They're letting school out and she's like, all right, bye everybody.
Marc:No way.
Marc:So this is like they're friends with the Zappas here.
Marc:Amazing.
Marc:By the way.
Marc:Can we just talk about this?
Marc:The hold the cell phone out so the person on the other end can listen to the music.
Marc:Can you just imagine being on the other end of that fucking cell phone?
Marc:Like...
Guest:yeah sounds great like yeah yeah yeah can't wait to sign these guys even if it was even if it was like crystal clear yes it's still what he would hear is like a the most bog standard bar blues band
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:It is ridiculous.
Marc:Also, so, okay, continue on.
Marc:But I do want to say, getting to, you talked about the Zappa on the snowplow.
Marc:Because after the bar scene, we go into, you know, an establishing shot of, like, this radio station on the radio as this guy is plowing the road.
Marc:And this radio guy, this DJ, is like...
Marc:Yeah, that's the Jack Frost band, the best band you've never heard of.
Marc:And we'll come right back with your classic rock from the 70s and 90s.
Marc:No 80s or the 60s.
Marc:Now, I mention this because later on...
Marc:after jack frost becomes a fucking snowman okay uh like there's the we come back to this dj and he is again back now a year later and now he's introducing a billy idol song
Marc:But it's Hot in the City, which came out in 1982.
Marc:So is this movie like It's Wonderful Life type of situation where Jack dying changes the course of history and this fucking radio station has now changed format and now they're doing 80s music only?
Marc:Like, it is just such a weird thing to have said in the first scene of like, no 80s or 60s.
Marc:And then...
Marc:the later have it explicitly 80 song on.
Guest:All right.
Guest:I'm going to put a pin in that because I'm going to give you what I think is the explanation for that later.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:All right.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:It will, it will come up again.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Fair enough.
Guest:Uh, we should point out that this movie is directed by Troy Miller, who, uh, at the time I knew, uh,
Guest:Well, I did know who Troy Miller was because he was the director of virtually every episode of Mr. Show.
Guest:I would see his name in the credits every week, which is interesting because it's like Mr. Show's like around this time.
Guest:Like this is this is like Mr. Showtime.
Guest:So it's crazy that the guy who made Mr. Show, you know, is directing Mr. Show was asked to make this.
Guest:Like, how did that line up?
Guest:But I do guess that's probably why the Zappas are in it.
Guest:They definitely hung around that universe.
Guest:And then there's a bunch of Mr. Show people in it.
Guest:John Ennis is the guy who's driving that truck and the slushy falls all over him.
Guest:Oh, okay.
Guest:And there is a point where they're flipping around the TV so that the snowman can watch TV outside.
Guest:And there is a clip of the King Kong Sing Song Ding Dong.
Guest:burger commercial from mr show yeah i'm like i wonder if any kids went to find out what that was but the most obscene thing in this movie now is that the weatherman is january 6th defendant jay johnston who is currently in jail for his insurrection no yes holy shit that's wild
Guest:Yes.
Guest:And then you also have Henry Rollins in there in a prominent role, too.
Guest:Like Mr. Get in the Van was like, I'll get in the van and take your money.
Guest:Jesus Christ.
Guest:Also, we'd like to point out the guy who played the cop when they're when they're telling toward the end of the movie, they're telling a cop that, you know, the kid ran off with the snowman.
Guest:That cop was played by banned WTF.
Guest:Never guessed Wayne Fetterman.
Marc:Oh, that's amazing.
Marc:Why is Wayne banned?
Guest:Because he insulted the show on Doug Benson's podcast.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:Yes, of course.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Sorry.
Marc:I don't remember names.
Marc:But yes, now that comes back to me.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:Amazing.
Guest:So, yes, those are all the little casting Easter eggs in this movie.
Guest:But, you know, going back to this thing we were talking about after that radio DJ talks and then they get out of school.
Guest:There is this kind of like legendary snowball fight that's going on.
Guest:And the weird thing is, it was like the way it opened, it was like this shot that comes off the school and they go down.
Guest:There's this big ravine where all these kids are throwing snowballs.
Guest:And I was watching this.
Guest:I'm like...
Guest:This looks kind of fun.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it was like done well.
Guest:It was like good hearted and, you know, staged in a convincing way.
Guest:It wasn't like one of these movies where like these kids are doing insane things that you can't do with snowballs.
Guest:Like, no, this seemed like it was like Little Rascal style snowballs.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And it was like, well, okay.
Guest:That would be at home in like a Christmas story or something.
Guest:And then you meet this kid who is the, you know, protagonist of the film is the son of Michael Keaton.
Guest:And, you know, they go home.
Guest:They were like shoveling snow together.
Guest:Michael Keaton, beautiful, beautiful.
Guest:Kelly Preston is the wife.
Guest:And I'm like watching this.
Guest:I'm like, these are the most appealing people.
Guest:I love Michael Keaton.
Guest:It is incapable of seeming inauthentic.
Guest:You just love the guy when you see him.
Guest:He's very good with the kid, even if he's not in the same room with him.
Guest:Like it's convincingly his dad.
Guest:Like all I could think of was maybe 10 minutes into this thing was like, you had the ingredients to make whatever you wanted.
Guest:Like this was, you could have done whatever.
Guest:You had good actors.
Guest:You had clearly capable people.
Guest:They just shot that snowball fight scene.
Guest:It was fine.
Guest:And what the movie presents to you from here are two things.
Guest:There is a very boring story versus an absolute batshit insane story.
Guest:And what happens from this point on, so it's like 85 more minutes, is those two things are fighting with each other the whole time.
Guest:This completely boring movie that you can't wait for it to end.
Guest:And this...
Marc:fucking ridiculous thing that you don't even understand how it got off the page and that's what you're watching yes also going back to that snowball fight there's a bully that's established in this shot and it's amazing because they're basically like oh man that kid no one likes him his dad left like just yeah a lot of dead dad talk in this movie
Guest:But I did think at the beginning, at least the bully, like the bully got bested.
Guest:It wasn't, I didn't feel like, oh, we're going down.
Guest:This guy, this kid's going to have to beat the bully and the snowman will help him beat the bully.
Guest:It didn't feel like that at the beginning.
Guest:Of course, that's where the movie goes.
Guest:Like they, they have the, they, they didn't have the sense to be like, Hey, we've already gone past the cliches.
Guest:And like, this is just now like wholesome and nice and,
Guest:And instead they just like resurrect the cliches when, you know, later when it rolls around.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So, okay.
Guest:So this, but so now this next chunk of the film is where he's spending most of the time with his family.
Guest:And you're telling me you went over this with a fine tooth comb and you, cause like I have a distinct memory of him, like hugging and kissing Kelly Preston when she was in her nightie and stuff.
Marc:That PJs, I'm going to I think that my I don't think that's a scene.
Marc:There's a scene where he has his arm around her and like that's a scene that he was in.
Marc:But the rest of the movie, he's not in the same scene as her.
Marc:But it especially stuck out to me.
Marc:Um, when the Michael Keaton is, uh, making a snowman with the, with his kid and they're just never in the same shot.
Marc:It's always a body double where you're not seeing Michael Keaton or you're seeing the kid's face and you're just seeing Michael Keaton's shoulder and arm and never the two are ever in the same shot.
Guest:And it's the same with, he's driving in the car with his buddy.
Guest:Like you get like buddy in the driver's seat and
Guest:Michael Keaton in the passenger seat and you just get switch off, switch off.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:So so so there's so much to unpack.
Marc:OK, first of all, when we when the movie starts, you know, this kid is popular with the second graders for some reason.
Marc:All A's on his report card.
Marc:There's there's a leaky kitchen sink, which, OK, that happens.
Marc:And he's on the hockey team.
Marc:He's a he's a winger, whatever position that is.
Marc:OK, one year later, after his dad dies, he is no longer fun to to pick on because his dad died.
Marc:It's alluded to that his grades are down, but it's not really like you don't see a report card or anything.
Marc:And he's still on the hockey team, but he's on defense.
Marc:Like his his life didn't really change.
Guest:Well, also, everyone just kind of is like, you know, treating these things like they're outside of their ability to help correct.
Guest:Like what?
Guest:No one was like, oh, let's be extra nice to the kid whose dad died.
Marc:Never, never.
Marc:It's like it's as if it happened 20 years ago.
Marc:You know, it's like, oh, you got to get over it, you know?
Guest:So you've, you've, you've mentioned that his dad dies.
Guest:Okay.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Spoiler alert.
Guest:We've already, well, it's a, it is a spoiler because I clocked the time 31 minute mark.
Guest:That's that.
Guest:that is a lot of time to spend with an alive guy who you like right and so it is already too tragic it's like you you you are plugged in for over a half hour with this dude and his family and they're very pleasant despite the movie now being extremely boring i'm sorry i have to interrupt he is michael keaton is not a very good dad
Marc:OK, well, that may be true.
Guest:I mean, I mean, that's part of the movie's plot is that he keeps neglecting the kid.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And yes, he's not very good, but he's still Michael Keaton.
Guest:He's very charming.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:He definitely is.
Marc:He definitely.
Marc:So, yes, it takes them a while to get to his death.
Marc:But can I say before we get to the death?
Marc:Like, so Michael Keaton's coming back from Denver.
Marc:His kids are all excited to see him.
Marc:And the kid's like, hey, you got a gift for me?
Marc:And, you know, it's like, oh, yeah.
Marc:Yeah, I got something.
Marc:And he pulls out of his back pocket and a harmonica, right?
Marc:Ooh.
Marc:And the kid's like, oh, what's this from?
Marc:And Michael Keaton does the gag where he looks around the room looking for a name.
Marc:And his eyes land on a Wayne Gretzky poster in a blue Rangers jersey.
Marc:And he stumbles and says, uh, from an old blues player named, uh, Sonny Boy Wayne.
Marc:And that's the weirdest thing you could possibly do to your child.
Guest:Well, it would be fine if the kid knew that he's just joking.
Guest:If it was like a natural thing, like, oh, he's joking around.
Guest:He doesn't mean Wayne.
Guest:But he just says it and the kid accepts it as the truth.
Guest:We then find out throughout the course of the film that Wayne Gretzky is this kid's absolute hero.
Guest:Like he's obsessed with Wayne Gretzky.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So like, there's no way that that would be the name you could just pluck out and not have the kid be like, Sonny Boy Wayne, you mean like Wayne Gretzky here on my wall?
Marc:Right.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Also, I feel like this movie is missing a very crucial prologue where like like at the beginning of Gremlins, where like the dad is in this weird Chinese, you know, you know.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:No, no.
Guest:There's no there's never any explanation because as far as you know, he just...
Guest:faked this and pulled a harmonica out of his pocket and was like, I'm giving this to you.
Guest:Like, why not make it that he actually in Denver got a harmonica from a mysterious person?
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:But no, it's just a harmonica that he, for some reason, so he gives this batshit lie.
Marc:And then he's like, you know what?
Marc:That's a lie.
Marc:You know what?
Marc:You know where that harmonica is really from?
Marc:It's from the day you were born.
Marc:When you were born, I left the hospital and walked into a music store and found this harmonica.
Marc:Like, who's leaving their kid to go to a music store?
Guest:You know, that hospital-adjacent music store?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Like, oh, yeah, that one.
Guest:God, I'm in the hospital here.
Guest:I need a trombone right away.
Marc:Hurry.
Marc:I need a triangle.
Marc:Anyway.
Marc:Ting, ting, ting, ting.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:But it's during this scene where I clocked that Michael Keaton's not really there.
Marc:But there's there's a moment in this movie at 1445.
Marc:Michael Keaton's asked if he can come to the kids hockey game.
Marc:And Michael Keaton walks from the doorway and steps into focus and says, oh, wait, I can't.
Marc:And before he says the next line, he contorts his body and looks at his feet and whispers.
Marc:I'm going to the studio tomorrow.
Marc:As if he forgot his line, but it also, it looks, if you watch it, it looks like he's such a dick to his kid.
Guest:It's a weird thing.
Guest:He's, like, looking off to the side.
Marc:It's like he's looking at the cue card on the floor.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Like, they put the lines on the ground for him.
Marc:And, like, this was the best take, but it was the weirdest, like, reading you could ever have of this scene.
Marc:Like, and they kept it for some reason.
Guest:I got to wonder if the fact that he was not originally cast in this role, if that did one of two things, it probably like compressed their schedule or whatever.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And, and then they're shooting with him and he, now you have to use him.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And he's like, I only got these many dates or whatever.
Guest:And so like they're shooting him whenever they can.
Guest:And then this kid is not in the same scene or whatnot.
Guest:But then I also wonder if it was one of those things where he's like, you know, like Matthew Broderick and deck the halls that he's just like, this is the worst.
Marc:This is my bottom.
Guest:This is the bottom.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so like I wonder if he was just like not fun to be around or whatever.
Guest:I'm not I don't want to cast aspersions on Michael Keaton, but like I would not be surprised if that were the case.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Also, I strongly think this is there's a version of this movie where you find out this is obviously his second family.
Marc:Like Kelly Preston is much younger than him.
Marc:OK, he obviously knocked up a fan on the road and pretended they were a couple.
Marc:Meanwhile, he's married for a decade and has like a kid, you know, with someone else.
Marc:OK, and then like he he has a change of heart and wants to come back into the family.
Marc:And then he dresses up as a snowman, like Mrs. Doubtfire.
Marc:Like, I'm sure there's a version of this movie that's like that.
Guest:Well, that version might be more interesting.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Also, can I just say the next scene is daytime and where the wife is hanging up more Christmas lights.
Guest:Yeah, and I didn't get why the buddy was there hanging them up too.
Marc:Oh, I can tell you because I bet you there's another version of this movie where the buddy...
Marc:is wants this wife for himself and he's the one that cuts the brakes or does something to this car and he's weirdly around too much for a character who means nothing yes and he is there and i guarantee you it's because he's the villain of this movie he in some in some like twisted script that got changed yeah yeah
Marc:Because the final shot of this movie, it's a year later, sometime later, and this fucker, Michael Keaton's best friend is playing piano on Michael Keaton's, in his house with his wife, and she's waving to his kid who's playing hockey.
Marc:Like, I guarantee you that that's the end game.
Marc:It's like a...
Guest:Okay, so I know what you're talking about, and that happens all the time.
Guest:But basically, you're outlining a ghost-type story, like the Patrick Swayze movie, right?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Which probably happens all the time.
Guest:Why would that movie include a reincarnated man inside a snowman?
Guest:Yeah, I don't know.
Guest:It would have to be something else.
Marc:It can't be that.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, it's I mean, maybe it's a vengeance thing.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:But let me just tell you, OK, this house that they're putting more lights on.
Marc:OK, Brendan, think about this.
Marc:You've hung lights up on your house already.
Marc:And we've seen it because we've seen a night shot of this house and it dissolves into a morning scene.
Marc:with these lights still on the house and they're hanging up yet more lights?
Marc:Like, why are they doing that?
Guest:Why are they- They're so close to Christmas, too.
Marc:Yes, it's like two days before Christmas.
Marc:They don't need these lights.
Marc:No, no one ever would ever do that.
Marc:That is bonkers.
Guest:Okay, again, put a pin in this because I'm going to say something that makes this all make sense when we get to it.
Guest:Amazing, guys.
Marc:I can't wait.
Marc:I can't wait.
Marc:Also, can I just say, a year later, Michael Keaton is now a snow dad, and he's asking his kid how his mom is doing, and he's like, oh, she's fine.
Marc:And snow dad is like, is she?
Marc:How many Christmas lights do you see up out on the house?
Marc:And he looks over, and can I just say, it would have been
Marc:So easy to not have any lights on, you know, on this house.
Marc:Yet there are Christmas lights.
Marc:And he's like, she hung up some lights.
Marc:So it's like, what?
Marc:So that means that she's not happy?
Marc:Or that, you know, she's not as sad?
Marc:Like, there are some lights on?
Guest:Maybe he knows that this is like her, like, kink.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yes, maybe.
Guest:There's lots of lights.
Guest:She's in heat.
Marc:She got lucky.
Marc:But like, I don't understand why.
Marc:Like, because you could think that a year later, Kelly Preston is now sad and depressed and, you know, has no joy in her life because her husband tragically died.
Marc:No, she's fine.
Guest:Like you spend time before he becomes the snowman.
Guest:I clock this at nine minutes.
Guest:So you get your 31 minutes of them being a happy family together before he's killed.
Guest:And then another nine minutes of just grief.
Guest:Like the kid is in grief and you know, he's got to be dealt with.
Guest:But I did notice like she was generally okay.
Marc:Oh, she's like the manic pixie girl of this movie.
Marc:Like, she's fine.
Marc:Like, she even says, I don't care if you flake on me.
Marc:Don't flake out on the kid.
Marc:Like, what a woman.
Marc:Like, what a life she has here.
Guest:All right, well, that means we are getting around to the big reveal of what this movie actually is.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:What we had known from the moment we saw the poster in the first place was that he becomes the snowman that his son has now created outside.
Marc:Can I, wait, no, can I just say, so Michael Keaton and his son...
Marc:Like they make a snowman and he's like, hey, it looks like you.
Marc:And then a year later happens.
Marc:Like you would think that that snowman is what his dad is going to be reincarnated into.
Marc:But no, a year goes by.
Marc:Like that's not a special snowman.
Marc:It's just a snowman.
Guest:No, no, he had to make a new snowman.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Then blow the harmonica.
Guest:There were all these things that had to happen.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:For this snowman to come to life.
Marc:And also, like, he had to put on the... Same scarf.
Marc:He puts on the scarf, but he also takes out a box of his dead dad's belongings.
Marc:And I'm pretty sure this box...
Marc:had all the items that his dad was killed in.
Marc:Because his dad gets killed in a car accident, apparently.
Marc:So he has a dead dad box that has his hat that he had on, his scarf, and a button from his band.
Marc:So he just has this dead dad box that is slash snowman box.
Marc:I don't really understand it.
Guest:Well, also, why couldn't any of the artifacts in that box, like actual Frosty the fucking snowman, be the thing that brings him to life?
Marc:Right, right.
Marc:Well, there is a slow-mo shot of the kid putting on the scarf for the snowman.
Guest:Yes, but none of that matters until he plays the harmonica.
Guest:That's right.
Marc:Apparently, the magical harmonica that he got when he was born, which I hope you got Owen a magical harmonica so that on the day he was born,
Guest:No, I got him one of those magical ring that goes, woo, woo, woo, woo.
Marc:totally magic we brought his grandfather back so 40 minutes until we see this this titular uh you know uh magic snowman uh which is amazing 40 fucking minutes dude yes it's like it's like the shark and jaws they just withhold withhold withhold that's not the only reason it's like the shark and jaws this thing has as quint would say
Guest:Dead eyes like a doll's eyes.
Guest:100%.
Guest:Holy shit.
Guest:I will give this credit to my guy, Roger Ebert, as I identified.
Guest:He is my guy.
Guest:Probably the only interact
Guest:i ever had with this movie jack frost was reading roger ebert's review of this and i went back because i remembered it was total pan one star and he has the greatest quote in here can't you like it's it's absolutely the the most appropriate quote about this snowman character what is it he said to see the snowman is to dislike the snowman
Marc:That's perfect.
Marc:Holy shit.
Guest:And this snowman was made by Industrial Light and Magic, the Lucas special effects house, and Jim Henson puppeteers.
Guest:I know.
Guest:times when it's a puppet is jim henson puppets top of the line the special effect when it's a you know computer animation is ilm these are these are the these are people working at the peak of their capabilities and this thing is the most off-putting character ever put on screen yes
Marc:Yes.
Marc:And the ADR, the words that are coming out of the snowman's mouth as Michael Keaton are equally bizarre.
Marc:Like, he's like, oh, I'm freezing.
Marc:You know, I want to get in the house.
Marc:So is he freezing the entire movie?
Marc:Because he's a snowman.
Guest:He's a snowman.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:The logic of the snowman thing.
Guest:It's just so fucking all over the place.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Because yes, sometimes he's like upset about being cold, but he's made of snow.
Guest:Like he should, he's, you'd be fine with being cold.
Guest:It's like Mr. Freeze.
Marc:Mr. Freeze likes the cold.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Also the beginning of when he's a snowman, he, uh,
Marc:slips down the driveway, and then a snowplow then plows him away somehow.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And, like, he's snow.
Marc:Isn't he, like, Clayface from, like— Right!
Marc:Okay, okay, okay.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:All right.
Guest:So—
Guest:He is plowed by this thing, but he the orbs of his body are have complete integrity there.
Guest:He is fully intact.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But like pieces of him can come apart and then he puts them back together.
Guest:So then the entire climax of this film is this concern with him melting.
Guest:Right.
Guest:wouldn't he just come back together like the bad terminator right like he's just like and he's just there's another part where the kid is is pelting hockey pucks at him yes and then he's like good job you did great and then the the reveal ha ha ha is that the pucks have all gone through him so he's got all these holes
Guest:Well, those got fucking solved.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:So why... So he's either snow, he's able to move with snow and melt as snow or whatever, or he is this...
Guest:strange snowman shape that stays exactly as it is.
Guest:Even if you are a snowplow and you crush it.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It, it, the logic keeps on dancing.
Marc:It doesn't make any sense.
Guest:Well, the other thing is why did they give him sticks for arms?
Guest:what do you mean instead of well like go back and watch frosty the snowman like when frosty the snowman comes to life he's just got snow arms so like he can just do anything you want with him these stick arms as a character thing are so limiting to like what you can do in terms of like gesticulating making you know showing you know your your emotions showing your interest in things instead
Guest:Daddy's just got these sticks that just barely move.
Marc:Like you should have real arms.
Marc:Yes, it is bizarre, honestly.
Marc:And so he comes back to life and he wants to talk to his son, but he doesn't want to talk to his wife.
Marc:Yeah, no reason other than you're an idiot and that's the plot.
Marc:Yeah, except like his wife even walks up to the snowman that he is now inhabiting.
Marc:OK.
Marc:And can I tell you, there's another scene you should check out.
Marc:Like she is straight up flirting with this fucking snowman.
Guest:Like she is into this snowman, which if that's the case, why doesn't he just go, hey, baby, it's me.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:She's like, oh, she's like one line away from like rubbing his lower ball.
Marc:Like, yeah, right.
Marc:Unbelievable.
Marc:It's like, oh, let's get you bundled up.
Guest:Yeah, he should have just at that moment been like, I know this is weird, but it's actually me.
Guest:And can I please come inside?
Guest:Can you just make it cold enough that I could be in there?
Guest:Although apparently I'm fine out here when I get crushed, but I will melt to death in the house.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Also, I was hoping he would have like a snow erection some, you know, in the next shot.
Guest:Oh, well, there is a point when the kid has to ride on a toboggan with him.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he totally rides on his balls.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like, like the way that it's structured, all I could see was like, oh, he's sitting on his distended testicles.
Marc:Like, he's just like, this is gross.
Marc:So, so the next morning the kid wakes up and he's like, he like, you know, scares his dad to revealing that he is a sentient snowman.
Marc:And the kid is like, oh.
Marc:I can't deal with this.
Marc:I'm going to school.
Marc:And he's like... He then has a sentient snowman following him to school.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Like, he doesn't... That's the moment where you're like, hey, kid, you don't need to go to school today.
Marc:Right, right, right.
Marc:You call the cops.
Marc:You call the press.
Guest:Or nothing.
Guest:Or you hunker down.
Guest:You're like, we're going to figure this shit out because I'm going to be rich.
Guest:Like, I'm going to be the guy who discovered the talking snowman.
Marc:Yes, totally.
Marc:But he goes to school and like...
Marc:there's a snow fight like the the bullies are now like throwing snowballs at the kid and his dad is like his snow dad is uh then like turns into like a machine gun for snow the the stick arms start whirling like a dervish and fling it's like buddy the elf right yes but okay so here's the thing like you said earlier
Guest:he, he becomes, he comes to life as this snowman and he's like, Oh, I'm fucking cold.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He doesn't say fuck.
Guest:It's a kid's movie, but it's still, he's like, he's all chilly.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But then he comes upon the snowball fight and he's like this master snowball thrower.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Like,
Guest:How does he have some knowledge of the snowman powers and not other knowledge?
Marc:He says, you pick the one area where you don't want to mess with me, and that's snow?
Marc:You didn't even know you were cold, dude.
Marc:Like, there's nothing else.
Marc:Oh, you should have, I don't know, like a harmonica playing or like a singing contest?
Marc:No, it's snow.
Marc:You don't want to mess with me because it's snow.
Marc:Also, is he gaining superpowers?
Marc:Like, I just don't understand the logic of this movie.
Marc:Like, he is now just battering kids with snowballs.
Guest:All right.
Guest:Well, I will finally, I will finally give up the ghost here on what I've been holding off on.
Guest:And it's because it occurred to me once we got to this scene and this was the scene where, you know, you have the snowball fight and then that snowball fight turns into the bullies chasing them.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Like a James Bond scene.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So now this was now more my speed because this shit was really bad.
Guest:Like my feeling with these kinds of movies is if it's not going to be good, make it really suck.
Guest:And this sucked.
Guest:So this was like, you, you, you, you would very easily convince me that this guy, Troy Miller or whatever, that at some point he was fired and replaced.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So now he was either the competent guy who got fired and replaced with a complete incompetent, or he made this part and was so bad at it that they fired him and replaced him with someone who shot that earlier snowball fight, right?
Guest:Because they're so incongruous that these two things could exist in the same movie.
Guest:One thing that is like...
Guest:I'm not going to go give it an Oscar, but it was a fine scene of a snowball fight.
Guest:And then this thing is so bad.
Guest:The dialogue is just horrible.
Guest:It's like you the man.
Guest:No, you the snowman.
Guest:Like I wanted to like that was the point where I almost turned it off.
But.
Guest:But there is a moment then.
Guest:So they break this toboggan in half.
Marc:Wait, wait, wait.
Marc:Before that, the kid's like, can't you zap them into ice?
Marc:And the snow dad says, zap them into ice.
Marc:I don't even have pockets.
Marc:Like, that doesn't have anything to do with you zapping them into ice, dude.
Guest:He thinks you could do with your eyes, asshole.
Guest:Like, he thinks you're a magic being.
Marc:But also, like, you just threw a whole bunch of snowballs at people.
Marc:Like, who knows what you could do?
Marc:You might fly.
Guest:You don't have an ice laser in your pockets.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:Like, there's no pockets involved.
Marc:Pockets have nothing to do with this, dude.
Yeah.
Guest:All right.
Guest:But so there is a moment you told me to go back and watch a part.
Guest:And now I know you don't have this sitting in front of you and you can't scroll it right now.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I would like you to, at some point go, you don't have to watch the whole movie for a third time, but I want you to go find the scenes where they break the toboggan in half and are now snowboarding down the mountain and,
Guest:Again, back to my idea that this was now a totally different person making this.
Guest:I mean, clearly a second unit is making this, but like, I don't even know who edited this together then, because there is a full on shot of the kid, the quote in quotes, kid, his son riding the toboggan snowboard.
Guest:And it is a full on shot of the stuntman.
Guest:No.
Guest:Oh, like, like a grown man.
Guest:It looks like Tony Hawk.
Guest:It might've been Tony Hawk.
Guest:And it's like, I got, it was on the screen for like at least two seconds.
Guest:Like I was like one Mississippi, two Mississippi.
Guest:That's a man.
Guest:Like at least the bully has goggles on.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Like, so like you can trick that you can be like, you know, okay.
Guest:Stunt man with goggles and kid with goggles are more or less the same.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Right.
Guest:This is full on.
Guest:You just see like, well, Hey, a new person just entered this film.
Guest:Who are you, sir?
Guest:And okay.
Guest:So here's where I'm getting back to all the things I've told you to like, when you're like, why is this happening?
Guest:Why is this happening?
Guest:This was the moment where I was like, okay, this has all the hallmarks of a movie that gave up.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I've seen this a million times that you can feel like,
Guest:everyone involved with the thing was like, I don't know, fucking put a, put a, put a cork in his nose.
Guest:That's his nose.
Guest:It's a cork.
Guest:Who fucking cares?
Guest:Like that's, that is from at this point in the movie that the general tenor of the movie is, I don't know who fucking cares.
Guest:Like that's the whole rest of this movie.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like there's a certain type of not giving a fuck that you can smell on a movie that is particularly with like famous people who don't want to be there.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I guess this is the point where I should reveal about the other famous person who didn't want to be there.
Guest:Yeah, please.
Guest:Because I mentioned that this was originally supposed to be someone else.
Guest:Do you have your phone with you?
Guest:I do.
Guest:Take it out because I'm going to send you something.
Guest:All right.
Guest:All right.
Guest:I texted you a poster of the movie.
Guest:This is not the original poster, but this is a poster where the actual snowman is much more prominent.
Guest:And if anyone would like to do this at home while you're listening to this, you've got Google capabilities.
Guest:Just Google Jack Frost movie poster.
Guest:Right.
Marc:and you'll see a full-on shot of the snowman okay well so this fucking dog is in this fucking shot in this poster the dog that pissed on everything yeah yeah i didn't understand that fucking dog the entire time all right but okay so what about all right so i'm going to tell you that there was an actor originally playing jack frost
Marc:Oh, the wait.
Marc:So the snowman.
Marc:So you're saying.
Guest:So he was playing Michael Keaton's role.
Guest:OK.
Marc:All right.
Marc:I'm zoomed in on the snowman.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Because Industrial Light and Magic and the Jim Henson people got to work on the snowman before the movie was being shot.
Guest:And they got to work on the snowman, assuming that the other actor was going to play Jack Frost.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That is why you will look at this, and I'm going to say this to you, and you're going to know it.
Guest:That snowman was supposed to be George Clooney.
Guest:What?
Guest:I mean, look at it.
Guest:He looks like fucking George Clooney.
Guest:He's got his eyebrows.
Guest:He's got his grin.
Guest:Like as soon as I heard that it was George Clooney, I was like, oh my God, George Clooney is a terrifying snowman.
Marc:Oh my fucking God.
Marc:Holy cow.
Marc:How did this happen?
Marc:I mean, it happened because George Clooney was like, get me the fuck out of here.
Marc:Holy fucking shit.
Marc:That was supposed to be George Clooney?
Marc:Did he film it?
Marc:No, no.
Marc:He never filmed it.
Marc:But the snowman that exists is already Clooney-esque.
Marc:Oh, so IOM was just like, fuck this, right?
Guest:Yeah, they weren't going to go back to the drawing board and make a Michael Keaton snowman.
Guest:You get the Clooney snowman.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:That is wild.
Marc:That does look like George Clooney as a snowman.
Marc:That is amazing.
Guest:Okay, so the climax of this thing, though, is that he wants to get to the Suns hockey game to deliver for him the way he never could as an actual dad, right?
Guest:He's such a bad dad.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But so he gets there as the snowman and he's now it's, it's, it's hot going there is hotter than it was where he was standing in the yard.
Guest:I don't know, but he will somehow melt there when he wouldn't have melted back at the house.
Guest:It doesn't make any sense.
Guest:But in any event, the whole thing is to try to avoid this thing from melting.
Guest:So they got to, the kid decides, thank you, dad, for coming to my hockey game.
Guest:He's going to get him to the mountains where he can be cold.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:oh dude this is this this part is just so upsetting to me why dude okay so so he the kid and the bully get his dad onto this truck right all right it's the truck scene that i that i i i personally cannot stand so they're finally up on the mountains okay and it's the dead of night and the truck is moving okay it's like driving on a highway and
Marc:And the kid is telling his dad, all right, we're here.
Marc:We're going to jump out of this moving truck off the road, off the mountain.
Marc:And this snow dad is like, I'm right behind you, son.
Marc:And...
Marc:What an all time horrible, like dad, like, can you imagine you being in the back of a truck and Owen being like, all right, dad, we're here.
Marc:Let's jump off of this moving truck down the mountain.
Marc:You would be like, no, no, no, no, no, no, son.
Marc:Let's wait for it to stop or literally anything other than you jumping off of a moving truck.
Guest:like car and then and then why doesn't he why doesn't he just say like why doesn't he if he wants to do that yeah get on me yes and i i'm indestructible apparently yeah i melt like a motherfucker but i can i can fall into things no problem right so why didn't you just do that instead they're both just gonna like butch cassidy and the sundance kid this thing
Marc:Yes, and he really does let his human son jump off a moving truck down a mountain before he decides to jump off.
Marc:Like, holy shit, I can't believe that happened.
Guest:Well, then the thing that I couldn't believe happened was the very next thing is that he takes him to their family cabin.
Guest:Apparently that's where this truck was going and magically got to the same cabin that they go to as a family.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Do you remember what was inside this cabin?
Guest:Fucking fireplace.
Guest:A raging fire.
Marc:Like, isn't that bad?
Marc:Aren't you going to melt?
Guest:And he's so calm about it.
Guest:He's like, oh, I'm going to put you to sleep here.
Guest:You're okay now, son.
Marc:It's so ridiculous.
Marc:holy shit and also i thought they were going like i'm sure there's a version of this where hey i you have to return me to where i skidded off the road yes you know and then my body can can my my soul can meet up with my body or right because instead is goodbye it's very poochy it's like i have to go now my planet needs me oh that goodbye is
Guest:something it is it is honestly the thing of horror movies uh well especially oh i'm glad you said horror movies because the last his last line which turns out to be the last line of the film because the next scene the coda scene has no dialogue you just see what everybody's doing the last line of the film is as his body is by said he loves you to his son and he believes in him now and you're always be in your heart and everything i'm always going to be right here oh and the wife
Guest:That's right.
Marc:The wife comes and like, by the way, the wife comes and you know what he says to his wife he's finally able to talk to?
Marc:He's like, you look great.
Marc:You look great.
Marc:Like, not like, you know, oh my God, I've missed you.
Marc:I love you.
Guest:I'm so sad that we're not going to have any more time together.
Marc:Right.
Marc:No, it's like you look great as if she's trying on dresses at the mall.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:That one looks great on you.
Marc:But no, that's what he says.
Marc:And it's goodbye.
Marc:But by the way, it's he's saying goodbye.
Marc:But he is also telling Charlie that, hey, if you ever need me, I'll be right there.
Marc:You just you just you know, and he whips out this fucking magic harmonica.
Marc:How?
Marc:He doesn't have pockets.
Marc:He's told us that.
Marc:He's made it very clear.
Marc:How did he have this fucking harmonica on him?
Marc:Of his snow ass.
Marc:But he's like, okay, goodbye forever.
Marc:But if you ever need me, just just just play on the harmonica like you would normally.
Marc:So it's a lot of mixed.
Marc:What are the rules of that?
Guest:Like, could he just be yanked in and out of the afterlife just whenever this thing's played?
Marc:But as he's saying goodbye and his body is because he's a force ghost at this point.
Marc:Talking to his wife, right?
Marc:He's like in Star Wars.
Marc:But now there's special effects.
Marc:And dude, he turns into the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Marc:Where there are all these ghouls that are circling the Ark.
Marc:And before he goes back inside the Ark, he says one thing thunderously.
Marc:What does he say?
Guest:It's not thunderously.
Guest:He sinisterly whispers, I will always hear you.
Guest:That's the creepiest thing anyone could say at any time.
Guest:Like Batman, he says it.
Marc:Not, I love you.
Guest:I will always be with you.
Guest:It's like, I will always hear you.
Guest:It's like, you'll never hide.
Guest:You can't hide.
Guest:I'll hear everything you do.
Guest:Everything.
Marc:Oh, this fucking sink is, oh, sorry, honey.
Marc:It's still broken.
Guest:Oh, what are you doing in the bathroom there?
Guest:I hear everything.
Marc:It really is like, it's like Danny McBride.
Marc:Exactly.
Guest:That's exactly what I thought it was.
Guest:I hear everything.
Guest:This fucking creep snowman.
Marc:What a creepy thing for your last words ever to say to your son and loving, beautiful wife.
I hear everything.
Guest:Well, then you get this coda, like we said, everybody, they're just showing, you know, what's happened to them.
Guest:They're living a happy life.
Guest:The buddy is, you know, playing piano in their house and that.
Guest:But the last established shot of the film is for some reason, this dog that you mentioned.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Just like walking away.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like, what the fuck is with this dog?
Guest:I was like, is he going to just go piss on all the snowmen?
Guest:Maybe the dog's piss is what brought the snowman to life.
Marc:Maybe.
Marc:Like, I don't understand why the dog was so prominently featured as the last thing we see.
Guest:Again, movie has given up.
Guest:They are like, what's going on?
Guest:We need like 30 more seconds here.
Guest:Fucking put that dog in.
Marc:I don't care.
Marc:It's probably the editor's dog.
Marc:It's like, yeah, here you go.
Marc:No, no, no.
Guest:They paid for a dog and a trainer.
Guest:They're going to use that dog.
Guest:We paid a lot for this.
Guest:This dog knows how to walk in the snow.
Guest:Let's go.
Guest:Establishing shot.
Marc:Oh my God.
Marc:And dude, I'm telling you,
Marc:This the best friend, this chubby best friend who has an earring is like 100 percent jealous of Jack Frost and his success.
Marc:And he dude, when when when Jack and is teaching his kid the J shot, which is just a slap shot.
Marc:OK, this friend is such a dick that.
Marc:He's like, no, no, no, Jack, Jack, we got to go.
Marc:We got to go.
Marc:No, no, no, no, no, no.
Marc:You're having a moment where you're saying, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Marc:We got to go.
Marc:We got to go.
Marc:I'm sorry.
Marc:No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Marc:Don't have time to say I love you.
Marc:We got to go.
Marc:We got to go.
Marc:And like the entire movie when like Jack is like, oh, I missed my kid's hockey game.
Marc:And he does like a comic, like silent era movie.
Marc:Like, you know, oh no, I missed it.
Marc:And he like, what?
Marc:puts his head yeah face palms like it's so comic his friend is just laughing looking at him and laughing and like his his buddy gives him the car keys for the car where the jack has to pound on the dashboard to get the windshield wipers to work like yeah he sabotaged this car to
Guest:to murder jack so that he can then take on this beautiful wife and family okay i just love that how how did they wind up fixing that in this they didn't excise the character they left the character there but he's just now he's just a lump
Guest:He doesn't do anything good or bad.
Guest:He's just a guy.
Guest:He's still around.
Guest:He's like sleeping in an easy chair.
Guest:He's just still there.
Guest:So when they excised the killer element from him, they're like, well, should we get rid of that character?
Guest:Oh, no, we got to have the chubby guy around.
Marc:Dude, there's also, like, when the kid is worried that his dad is going to melt, he, like, runs into his mom's bank where she's a bank teller.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:And he's like, Mom, Mom, like, help, help.
Marc:And, like, he runs up to his mom, who's a bank teller, and this fucking... There's some asshole.
Marc:This piece of shit person is like, hey, no cutting.
Marc:And she asked me, no, no, he's my son.
Guest:Even if he wasn't her son, a child in distress has run to the bank teller.
Guest:What do you think?
Guest:He's got a deposit to make?
Marc:Exactly.
Guest:It's like, no, this kid is just faking it.
Guest:He's going to get my CD rate.
Guest:They're going to give him that rate and then I'm not going to get it.
Marc:They got a special toaster promotion when you open a fucking account.
Marc:He's going to take my toaster.
Marc:It's so ridiculous.
Marc:This movie has choices that it's making.
Marc:It's honestly baffling.
Marc:Oh, I disagree.
Guest:I don't think it made any choices.
Guest:I think that's the biggest problem.
Guest:That they were like, what are we doing here?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Why don't you linger on that extra for 30 seconds?
Guest:Like there's some dude in a key shop where they're like, the guy's like, she's like, oh, he ran away with the snowman.
Guest:And the friend who's working at the key shop, he runs out to leave.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:End of scene, right?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Nope.
Guest:Nope.
Guest:Guy staring at the keys for 30 seconds.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Also, they're in the car, and the friend is like, they could be anywhere.
Marc:Like, dude, they have a snowman.
Marc:Like, they can't be anywhere.
Marc:Yeah, right.
Marc:They're around.
Marc:Yeah, they're not in Bermuda.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Come on, man.
Guest:Also, that's the weirdest thing.
Guest:This kid with all A's, just great grades this kid has.
Guest:And he does science experiments and that.
Guest:There's the most baffling line of dialogue.
Guest:He says, I have to go now, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:to the kid i'm gonna melt away or whatever and he's like you know come on i can't stay forever it's gonna be uh summer sometime and the kid says we'll move to south america when it's summer here it's winter there and i was like i i was like his grades are fraudulent
Guest:He does not know.
Guest:Yeah, this is the dumbest kid.
Marc:Like North Pole, nothing guy.
Marc:No, South America.
Marc:Oh, boy.
Marc:You're going to put him on a plane.
Guest:You're going to put him on an airplane.
Marc:I mean, you could technically maybe drive to South America, but I mean, that's a stupid thing to say.
Marc:I don't know.
Guest:Yeah, that was why I lost all sympathy for this kid.
Guest:I was like, this kid's so dumb.
Marc:Yeah, I mean, I lost all sympathy for him when he was questioning the snowman.
Marc:That was a great scene where he was questioning the snowman.
Marc:He's like, well, how'd my hamster die, snowman?
Marc:It's like, oh.
Marc:And the snow dad's like, oh, he had a heart attack.
Marc:And you know what's great?
Marc:He didn't get it right.
Marc:And the kid was like, no.
Marc:No.
Marc:It was a vacuum.
Marc:So you must be my dad because you.
Guest:But then the thing that gave it away was like his name was like, what's the kid's name?
Guest:Like Charlie.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So he said like, oh, come on, Charlie boy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it's like, I'm pretty sure I could have gone for Charlie boy if I wanted to call him something.
Marc:Charlie boy is very susceptible to people with vans and people dressed up as snowmen who will abduct him.
Marc:Yeah, for sure.
Guest:Well, I don't know about you, Chris, but I will not be adding Jack Frost to my holiday movie rotation.
Marc:I'm going to give it a think.
Marc:The jury's out.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:Maybe it's added to my list.
Marc:I had a fun time talking to you about it.
Guest:Okay, but that does not mean you want to watch it every year.
Guest:I don't know, man.
Guest:I'm going to give it a think.
Guest:Oh, boy.
Guest:You know, I would say, here's what I would say.
Guest:If the movie was 25 minutes long and it was just the stuff with the snowman, I might watch it every year just because it's funny.
Guest:The rest of this is interminably boring.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:I love that.
Marc:Oh, my dad's back in pog form.
Marc:You know, it's basically that the movie.
Marc:Oh, yay.
Marc:What a fun time.
Guest:Well, if any of you suffered through Jack Frost as well, thank you very much.
Guest:Hopefully we made it more enjoyable for you here.
Guest:And we hope you had a great Christmas, having a great Hanukkah, great Kwanzaa.
Guest:And we will be back in the new year.
Guest:So happy new year to one and all.
Guest:It will be 2025 when you hear us again.
Guest:And until then, I'm Brendan and that is Chris.
Guest:Peace.
Yeah.