BONUS Producer Cuts - Seth Meyers, Megan Stalter and June Monologues
Marc:And then another thing I've been doing, and I do occasionally, if you've got the stomach for it, to try to figure out where we really are and the reality we're living in.
Marc:I can't handle it all the time, but if you want to sort of engage with some very well-informed and well-researched and sort of thorough hopelessness,
Marc:I would recommend that you check in with the Chris Hedges report.
Marc:Occasionally I get mailings from him like the last one I got.
Marc:I'll just read you the first sentence of of the first paragraph of the.
Marc:dispatch, the last days of dying empires are dominated by idiots.
Marc:The Roman, Mayan, French, Habsburg, Ottoman, Romanov, Iranian, and Soviet dynasties crumbled under the stupidity of their decadent rulers who absented themselves from reality, plundered their nations, and retreated into echo chambers where fact and fiction were indistinguishable.
Marc:Now,
Marc:Sure.
Marc:That's what's happening.
Marc:But I get I bet you didn't know that it had that much of a historical context.
Marc:You know, a lot of people talk about the Hitler and a lot of people talk about Russia.
Marc:But apparently, according to a historian and social commentator who actually does the correct type of research to figure out and frame what is really happening, this is a historical fact.
Marc:about the nature of what we're going through.
Marc:So yeah, if that sounds like a good morning read, I recommend the Chris Hedges report.
Marc:Like I said, I can only take it in small doses because I don't know what to do.
Marc:So I don't know if that's uplifting, but I'm just trying to help you have a morning.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:So what do you want me to do now?
Marc:Do you want me to read more of the Chris Hedges stuff?
Marc:Can you take it?
Marc:I would definitely read that.
Marc:I would read, if I were you, I would go to the Hedges Report, the Chris Hedges Report.
Marc:Go find it.
Marc:I'm not sure.
Marc:I guess I could figure it out right now.
Marc:If I just pushed on the thing, it would probably take me to the thing, right?
Marc:And then I could give you the website.
Marc:But you can figure it out.
Marc:Oh, there you go.
Marc:ChrisHedges.substack.com.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Go read that just to, you know, it's not going to make you feel better.
Marc:But in this time of the yammering dum-dum and fascist meathead, you might want to kind of try to sort out some context.
Marc:Is there anything uplifting about what I'm saying?
Marc:No, I'm just trying to I'm trying to deal with it just like you are.
Marc:Oh, a couple of, you know, I've been yammering.
Marc:No, I don't want to say that.
Marc:I've been kind of trying to remember the name of a book that kind of blew my mind.
Marc:And finally, I got some feedback.
Marc:And I think I figured out what it was.
Marc:Every once in a while, you'll hear me talk about why Central Park was created and the thinking that went behind it.
Marc:There are certain little tidbits of information that kind of stay with me and blow my mind.
Marc:But a couple of people emailed me.
Marc:And I think we figured out what the book was.
Marc:Not that you need to read this, but this is the kind of book that people write and used to write because people were curious about things.
Marc:And I don't know.
Marc:Is that still happening?
Marc:I think the book was called The Park and Its People.
Marc:by Elizabeth Blackmar and Roy Rosenzweig.
Marc:And that was the thing that I found very interesting in terms of when they started building cities, they knew they needed to have parks so people would have enough country in the city to kind of placate, or not placate, to sort of feed that part of the mind that needs the rural, you know, the relief.
Guest:Anyway.
Guest:Every now and then, I mean, again, so rarely, someone will say, first guest will know our second guest.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And the first guest will say, do you mind if I stay?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And the second guest will be like, oh my God, that'll be so much fun.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:As a host, it is so, like, I start feeling so bad for the one I'm not talking to.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then, yeah, so it's a real skill.
Guest:It's tricky.
Marc:Mulaney deals with it too now, and he's not even producing the segments.
Marc:So, like, you know, there's been a couple times.
Marc:I talked to him yesterday, and I'm not knocking him, but there's been times where he got three massively talented people sitting on a couch not knowing what to do.
Marc:And I'm like, this is kind of its own interesting thing.
Marc:Graham has figured it out, which is your turn, your turn, your turn.
Marc:Yeah, I'm fascinated with that guy, and I kind of want to do his show.
Marc:I want to do his show so badly.
Marc:Yeah, and I don't know how it even happens.
Marc:It's in England, right?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And it's all A-list people or people from Europe.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:And who are big there.
Marc:And I can't quite put my finger on why it works so well.
Marc:It's got to have something to do with him.
Guest:Also, he was on my show, and I will just admit I did the thing –
Guest:The shameful thing of just saying, am I a big enough star that you would have me on your show?
Guest:Yeah, and what did he say?
Marc:I think I saw that.
Marc:He was promoting a book, right?
Guest:Yes, because he's also an accomplished author, which is like, all right, enough, buddy.
Guest:When was the last time you were in London?
Guest:Do you ever tour and go?
Marc:It's been a couple years, but yeah, I've done it.
Marc:Yeah, but I don't know if we tried to get on the show.
Marc:I don't do it regularly.
Marc:I just never travel anymore.
Marc:Well, that's the thing is that these big movie stars do international junkets.
Marc:And somebody else is paying for it.
Marc:Yeah, and they just show up there.
Marc:But I don't even know when he tapes or how he tapes.
Marc:But there's something – I don't know if it's the color of the room.
Marc:But there's something about that couch where it just works because everyone on the couch –
Marc:Is engaged.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And they're able to capture that on camera.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's not like, you know, you're talking to one person and you're only seeing that person.
Marc:And then, you know, there's someone sitting over there, but you don't see them somehow or another.
Marc:The camera there pulls out and everyone's, you know, kind of engaged.
Guest:He also has that really cool thing where I feel like you would love to shock him.
Guest:You know, whereas some talk show hosts, your fear is like going out of bounds.
Guest:And yet you just know his delight in it.
Guest:And I sort of feel like, I bet if you know you're going on Graham Norton within 12 months, you just like put your best story aside.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you think, I'm not, I'm waiting.
Guest:Yeah, for that.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:So what's going on with me?
Marc:Well, you know, I'm back in therapy.
Marc:I'm doing that and trying to hammer out a few things before I just climb into a hole, I guess, or put into a hole.
Marc:I'm trying to get a little, a few, I'm trying to tweak the machine, trying to tweak the engine, trying to tweak the...
Marc:the gears in my brain a little bit so maybe I can ease up on me a bit before I head out of life.
Marc:That seems reasonable, right?
Marc:I've said this before.
Marc:When you're older, you know yourself well enough.
Marc:When you go into therapy, you know what you need to work on.
Marc:You should be there for a reason.
Marc:You should know what's making you uncomfortable or what's causing you trouble or what's blocking you or whatever the hell it is.
Marc:You should know.
Marc:If you're a self-aware person that's been to therapy before, you know.
Marc:And the approach is you kind of walk in and just say, look, I know there's some things we're not going to unfuck.
Marc:But if we could tweak some of the stuff that is unfuckable or able to be fucked with.
Marc:Let's try it.
Marc:I'll walk you through it.
Marc:And you give me your opinion.
Marc:You tell me what you're thinking.
Marc:Help me see it a different way.
Marc:Put it together for me.
Marc:Maybe I'll cry a little bit.
Marc:And if I can get there and, you know, I can make different choices for myself or at least be a little more aware.
Marc:That's the trick.
Marc:I also went to the psychiatrist because I've been on this medicine.
Marc:And I think it's working.
Marc:And I like going to the psychiatrist because it's different than a therapist.
Marc:Psychiatrist is someone who's assessing something from a medical point of view.
Marc:And my guy likes numbers.
Marc:Last time I was there, he's like, we did a little anxiety quiz.
Marc:And he said, you seem like you're at 30%.
Marc:I'd like to get it to 50.
Marc:And I went in this time to kind of check in after I upped the dosage a bit.
Marc:He says, I think we're at 50.
Marc:I'm like, all right.
Marc:Well, I don't know if I'm just telling you answers you want to hear so I can score higher.
Marc:But I believe you.
Marc:I'll take it.
Marc:I'll believe I'm at 50, 50% working, which is good, which is less anxiety than I had.
Marc:But I still get it.
Marc:Especially when I travel, which I have to do, you know, like tomorrow or the next day or whenever the hell it is.
Marc:There's been a lot.
Marc:Oh, you know, another thing I want to say.
Marc:if you're still listening, is that, you know, after this is done, I'm going to want to stay in touch a bit, especially to let you know where I'm at or where I'm playing or what I'm doing, maybe even talk a little bit.
Marc:So if you do not follow me on Instagram, I would do that.
Marc:I'm Mark Maron, one word on Instagram.
Marc:And I will, if I know me,
Marc:I will be sitting around talking to you on Instagram occasionally.
Marc:And I think I will.
Marc:A lot of people have been asking if I'm going to continue doing the updates, my weekly dispatch.
Marc:I will.
Marc:I will do that for you.
Marc:I will check in with you.
Marc:I will do that.
Marc:I think that's good for me to do.
Marc:I don't know what I'm going to do when I stop talking to you.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I'm going to have to expand my social life.
Marc:I'm going to have to go back to meetings or something, some kind of meeting.
Marc:Maybe an ACOA meeting might be good.
Marc:Maybe a little codependent action.
Marc:Maybe some slaw.
Marc:Who knows?
Marc:I don't think I'm going to drink or use drugs.
Marc:Though I did.
Marc:I'll tell you, man.
Marc:I'll be honest with you.
Marc:Like sometimes these shows I do, these comic produced shows at the Comedy Store are sponsored by weed companies.
Marc:And I still can't get over it.
Marc:Because, you know, my kit likes the weed occasionally.
Marc:And, you know, I can't help but be an enabler and a good codependent boyfriend.
Marc:So I always, when I do one of these shows, I always try to get her a little weed.
Marc:And she says, I cannot get my brain around it.
Marc:that they're just sitting there selling it like they're like bags of chips or little bags of snacks, just as beautifully packaged, labeled, branded, named, colorful packages with just big old stinky buds in there.
Marc:And God damn it.
Marc:It's just, I missed all that.
Marc:We still had to go to a guy and yeah, pay a lot of money for it.
Marc:And they're just handing it out.
Marc:I just I can't believe I can walk away with a bunch of little resealable bags of big buds and be like, all right, I don't have to hide this in the car.
Marc:I don't have to stash it somewhere.
Marc:I don't have to be nervous.
Marc:It's crazy.
Marc:I'm not saying I want to smoke weed.
Marc:but sometimes I think about it, but I'm okay.
Marc:I'm okay.
Marc:I'm good.
Marc:I'm good.
Marc:I know where that goes.
Marc:The one thing about me fantasizing about, you know, I don't really think about drugs or booze, but sometimes I think about weed.
Marc:I'm not in the dark.
Marc:I know if I smoked weed that I would smoke it every day, all day long, because why wouldn't you?
Marc:Is there another way to do it?
Marc:Huh?
Marc:Sometimes I know people.
Marc:Sometimes I know people who know people I know.
Marc:And that helps.
Marc:Sometimes I've met people.
Marc:But it's weird.
Marc:With public people, you always have an assumption of what they are like.
Marc:And usually it's kind of wrong.
Marc:Like, I don't know you.
Guest:I get actually nervous to do podcasts.
Marc:You do?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I always, I feel like I get too comfortable, say too much that I'm begging people to take stuff out.
Marc:Do you have to beg or do they just do it?
Guest:They usually just do it.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But I start going like, why did I say that?
Guest:I got too comfortable.
Guest:I gave too much away.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:You mean like about yourself?
Guest:It'll be like, oh, it'll be either gossipy or myself or something.
Guest:I'm like, people could take that the wrong way.
Marc:Well, it's funny because I've been doing this a long time.
Marc:And that is usually the reason.
Marc:Why people want stuff taken out is because they said something about somebody.
Marc:It's never like something about themselves usually.
Marc:It's always like that might not land the right way and I didn't mean it to be.
Guest:Well, I'm also never talking bad about a person.
Guest:It's usually like, oh, I did a brand deal and they cut my hair too short or something.
Marc:And that's the big worry all day.
Marc:You're like, oh, am I not going to be able to sell that stuff anymore?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it's like, they don't even work with me anymore.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Why do I care?
Marc:I hope I didn't hurt that brand.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That corporation.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And it's like, they cut my hair way too short.
Guest:Like, I didn't ask for it.
Guest:Like, that is kind of bad.
Marc:Well, maybe they thought it would be interesting to market their thing with you being really uncomfortable with how you look and feel.
Guest:They wanted me to not, well, it was a hair commercial.
Marc:Oh.
Yeah.
Guest:And they chopped it off and then put extensions in.
Guest:They didn't want anywhere near my real hair.
Marc:So how long did that last?
Marc:Did you take the extensions out right away?
Guest:Yeah, it was like they curled my hair all day.
Guest:There was extensions.
Guest:But they cut my hair literally like right below my shoulders.
Guest:It was really long, like as long as it is now.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, so you lost your strength.
Guest:But I still use the hair product.
Guest:And it's not good for you, by the way.
Marc:Oh, well, this is quite a plug.
Guest:It's not good for you, and I use it.
Marc:And it was a horrible day for me.
Marc:It was a hard day.
Marc:And they cut my hair too short, but I use it.
Guest:But I still use it.
Marc:Why, because it's free or because it's good?
Guest:No, no, I use it because it's like, it smells good.
Marc:Oh.
Guest:It's not free, by the way.
Guest:They didn't even really give me that much free stuff.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:This was early on in the brand deals period.
Marc:I had literally a hundred cases of liquid death at one point.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:They're just sending it.
Marc:They were just sending it like every day for a while.
Marc:Like that whole kitchen in there was just filled with boxes of it.
Marc:And I'm like, I'm not going to complain.
Marc:And it was sort of.
Guest:Did you post about it?
Marc:Well, I give it to people.
Marc:I still have some of it.
Marc:But it was sort of I got into this mindset like after the pandemic or I don't know when it started happening where I was like, we might need water.
Marc:So, you know, I might need backup water.
Guest:How did they know that you needed it?
Marc:They didn't.
Marc:They were just trying to get it everywhere.
Guest:Also, they want you to post about it probably, right?
Marc:Yeah, well, I'm not really that good at that.
Marc:I don't like those expectations.
Guest:You cannot assume someone's going to post.
Guest:You have to say, can you post?
Guest:Oh, totally.
Guest:You can't assume.
Guest:If it's free, it's free.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:Sorry.
Marc:Yeah, some guy sent me a big thing.
Marc:And then people who do ads, they'll send shit and I'm okay.
Marc:But someone sent me this.
Marc:It was a specific type of...
Marc:Like a guitar that folded up and put in a backpack, an electric guitar, because I play guitar.
Marc:It was kind of cool.
Marc:But he sent it to me and I was like, thanks.
Marc:And I'm like, I don't.
Marc:Thank you for the gift.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Christmas came early.
Marc:Right.
Marc:But then like a year later, the guy's like, so do you want to pay us for that?
Marc:And I'm like, no, you can come over here and pick up your guitar.
Guest:That's crazy.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And then like after I said that, like, come pick it up.
Marc:I'll put it on the porch.
Marc:Like, I'm not going to use it.
Marc:And then I never heard from him again.
Guest:You can't ask someone to... That's not how gifts work.
Marc:Wasn't a deal.
Guest:You can't take the gift back.
Marc:Wasn't a deal.
Marc:But eventually, between me and you, I just ended up trading it in for something.
Guest:Oh, so they didn't come pick it up.
Guest:You kept it.
Marc:No, I kept it, but I didn't know what I was going to do with it.
Guest:Well, you can't.
Guest:That happens sometimes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you can't even assume I even want all the water, even though I do if they're listening.
Guest:Well, yeah.
Marc:Liquid death is Megan wants the water.
Marc:But then they just sporadically send me stuff.
Guest:That's so interesting.
Marc:Now it's just like every few months I'll just get new flavors.
Marc:I'm like, okay.
Marc:They're iced tea.
Guest:They want you to post about it.
Guest:And they know.
Guest:How am I going to post about that?
Marc:Like, hey, oh, what am I drinking?
Marc:Like, I don't even know how to fucking do that.
Guest:Or you are offering it to people on your podcast.
Guest:They could say something about it, but maybe like they're getting the word out there about liquid death.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:Well, I know that and I don't have any problem with that because, you know, for like most of the beginning of liquid death, I give it to people and be like, what is that?
Marc:It's liquid death.
Marc:It's some water.
Marc:I'm like, that's crazy.
Marc:And then like, there you go.
Guest:Do you feel like their branding—and also, by the way, it's working because we're talking about their product on the podcast.
Marc:That's all I wanted to have you here for.
Guest:Right?
Guest:And so I'll do an hour-long commercial about it because I want some of the water as well.
Guest:But they kind of are geniuses because they're making a cool-looking drink for people that don't drink, right?
Guest:Like, I don't drink.
Marc:Yeah, well, it's for kids to—
Marc:You know, where people don't drink to look like they have a 40 at a party.
Guest:Yes, yes.
Marc:But now it's like they're doing everything.
Marc:They're making sodas.
Marc:They're making iced teas.
Marc:Yeah, they make Arnold Palmer's.
Marc:They make flavored sparkling water.
Guest:You do sound like you have a brand deal with them and you're sneaking it in.
Marc:Oh my God.
Marc:I don't.
Guest:You're doing a good job though.
Guest:This is how you could do it.
Marc:Well, here's the thing I really want.
Marc:So I got sent this whoop watch, which is just, it's just a fitness watch, you know, like a, uh, well, whatever, a Fitbit or something.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But without all the, I can't text on it.
Marc:It only does one thing.
Marc:It just, it hooks up to an app where I can see, you know, my recovery, my heart rate and all that stuff.
Marc:Like an aura ring.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And, um, and they sent it to me and they were going to get ads and they never got ads.
Marc:And so now like I've become kind of obsessed with my resting heart rate and my recovery.
Guest:Oh, I've been, yes, I have an aura ring.
Guest:I've been, I can't stop looking at it.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And now like this one's kind of getting fucked up.
Marc:So I'm sort of like, what can I get another one?
Guest:Wait, what's getting fucked up about it?
Marc:It's just old.
Marc:They made a new model.
Marc:I bet this one's like a clunkier, older tech.
Guest:Is it now waterproof?
Marc:No, it's waterproof.
Guest:Okay.
Marc:But I just don't feel like it's being honest with me about my heart rate.
Guest:Oh,
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:My phone was telling me how many steps.
Guest:And I was like, there's no way I only stepped 200 steps today.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's like, don't fuck with me.
Guest:I know.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Sometimes the steps that I look at the steps, I'm like, there's no way I did that many.
Marc:So I don't trust it anymore.
Guest:I actually really like the idea because I don't want a watch that tells me text because it will overwhelm me.
Marc:That's what we have a phone for.
Marc:Yeah, exactly.
Marc:I don't know how many things we have to engage with.
Guest:I know too much.
Marc:And I've been chipping away at other stuff, doing some cooking, going to unload.
Marc:It took a lot of books over.
Marc:There's a little bookstore in Highland Park.
Marc:That's sort of a community thing.
Marc:What's that called?
Marc:Who's calling me?
Marc:What's happening?
Marc:What is that noise?
Marc:Do you hear it?
Marc:Oh, I'm in trouble.
Marc:I smell toast.
Marc:The Pop Pop.
Marc:That's what it's called.
Marc:The Pop Pop.
Marc:It's down not too far from my office.
Marc:But, you know, he's got a bunch of hipster books and muse books.
Marc:And I get sent a lot of books and a lot of them are right up his alley.
Marc:So I just bring them over there.
Marc:It looks like they offer classes over there for the community.
Marc:And I figure like I could take them to Goodwill.
Marc:But this business is a small business.
Marc:He's got a little shop there.
Marc:He's got something going on.
Marc:Let him have it.
Marc:I was going to, you know, he was willing to trade, but I'm like, no, I'm trying to trying to get them out and trying to get the books out.
Marc:I hope there's stuff in here that, you know, fits the vibe of the store.
Marc:So that felt like a nice thing to do.
Marc:I am going to unload some more plaid shirts that I'm just really not going to wear more.
Marc:I'm starting to, I'm starting to kind of, it's not even feng shui.
Marc:It's just like, I don't need all this shit anymore.
Marc:I just don't.
Marc:And it just keeps coming.
Marc:I have so much shit.
Marc:I have a, you know, I, I got a gift.
Marc:It's a nice gift.
Marc:It's a nut milk maker, but I don't know that I'm going to milk any nuts.
Marc:There's no double pun, no double on time, no pun intended.
Marc:Uh,
Marc:And I don't know really what to do with it.
Marc:So we'll see.
Marc:I don't know that there are needy people out there that are going to be like, oh, thank God.
Marc:We were struggling.
Marc:Thank you for the nut milk maker.
Marc:I don't think there's a situation where people who are in need are going to be relieved that they have a nut milk maker.
Marc:I just know that like I'll take it out of the box.
Marc:It'll be another thing on my counter.
Marc:I'll use it once and I'll realize this is kind of labor intensive and I can just buy pretty good nut milks.
Marc:But who knows?
Marc:You know, maybe somebody will step up and be like, that's how I want to spend my life.
Marc:Milking nuts with my nut milk maker.