BONUS WTF Collections - Jim Gaffigan
Marc:Are you ready?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:You got the Nicorette there going?
Marc:I got plenty of Nicorette.
Marc:That voice you hear is Jim Gaffigan, the comedian.
Marc:Now you're going to take the headphones off or put the bag down?
Guest:No, I'm taking off my bag slash purse.
Marc:I assume you've done this before.
Marc:I didn't know it was going to be, you know, I mean, you all set?
Guest:I'm settled in.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:Jim Gaffigan, as you know, is huge.
Marc:Not physically, but as a comedian, he's taken over the entire Midwest of this country.
Marc:Is that true?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:It's under my jurisdiction right now.
Marc:It's all under Gaffigan's jurisdiction.
Marc:Look, you know I love you, and you know that I have a slight bit of jealousy.
Marc:Right.
Marc:But I know that on some level, you must feel that for me.
Guest:I get it.
Guest:You and I are, there's a similar insanity.
Marc:Do you want some nicotine gum?
Guest:I got some going, thank you.
Marc:You do?
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Have you tried the Swedish snus?
Marc:Have you tried that?
Guest:No, what's that?
Marc:It's the stuff that they make in Sweden.
Marc:It's a tobacco product.
Marc:It's like a pouch of chewing tobacco, but you put it in your upper lip and you don't have to spit.
Marc:And they make like all different kinds and they make it very strong.
Guest:And it makes your teeth nice and black, I'm sure.
Marc:I'm sure it does all kinds of things.
Marc:But hey, anything's better than smoking, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Right?
Guest:Well, you know, the Scandinavians, that's why like all that dipping is called Copenhagen and Skoll.
Guest:It's like they, that's their thing.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And this is a Scandinavian product.
Marc:I have some right here in my bag.
Marc:I could show it to you.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And you could smell it.
Guest:No, I used to chew tobacco for a long time.
Marc:When was that?
Yeah.
Guest:I'm from Indiana.
Guest:So it's like... When you were a kid?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:There was a lot of chewing of tobacco.
Guest:You dipped?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Did you ever dip?
Marc:I'm a Jew.
Marc:Jews don't dip.
Guest:Well, aren't you from like New Mexico though or Arizona?
Marc:It doesn't matter.
Marc:You know, Jews...
Marc:puts that stuff in his mouth here's here was the one experience me my brother got hold of some copenhagen from some cowboy who said you want to dip so of course me and my little brother i'm like yeah let me try it so we put a dip of copenhagen in you know i you know immediately uh start sweating and have to go inside my brother throws up in the bathtub that was the and i don't think that's a good like commercial for dipping like right look at jews dipping or maybe that could be but that's that's like everyone dipping though you need someone there like an older brother who's
Marc:Smell that snooze.
Marc:This one is extra strong.
Guest:Yeah, that's a little bit... It's got bergamot.
Guest:There's Copenhagen, and then there's like a level above it, which was just like... That's what this is.
Guest:Just ass.
Guest:But, you know, you grow... It's like coffee.
Guest:The stronger the coffee...
Marc:That's what happened.
Marc:Someone recommended this to me because I was on the show with the lozenges, with the gum.
Marc:And they're like, try this.
Marc:This will get you off cigarettes.
Marc:Not realizing it.
Marc:I'd have no desire.
Marc:I've been off cigarettes a long time.
Marc:I just love nicotine.
Marc:So I get some of the really, I get a variety pack and I put the strongest one in my mouth.
Marc:And literally I had to sit down because I was sweating.
Marc:And I started to like, I started to go out.
Marc:You know, I started to like, oh God, like I'm going down.
Marc:And then like, like once I got through it, I'm like, I gotta get more of this.
Marc:This is the way a man wakes up in Sweden.
Marc:And I want to be one of those men.
Marc:When did you dip?
Marc:In high school?
Guest:I dipped through high school and college.
Guest:I went from dipping to smoking and then from smoking to chewing the nicotine gum.
Guest:But the thing, the dipping, it is really, it's really, I mean, all those habits are disgusting.
Guest:I guess the gum's not that bad.
Guest:But the dipping, it's really filthy.
Guest:It like makes your mouth, your breath nasty.
Guest:It makes your teeth black.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know.
Marc:But isn't it worth it?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, you got to commit to something.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, you, you know, we all, you need your vice, right?
Marc:You know, it's interesting.
Marc:Here's a, here's an interesting thing that I'll share with you.
Marc:Cause it has to do with comedy and I'm not going to mention any names, but you do the comedy.
Marc:You do.
Marc:It's very enjoyable.
Marc:Everyone likes you.
Marc:People, people know, even though you talk about things, everyone can understand that you're really fucked up, you know, somewhere in there.
Marc:They're like, this guy's a little weird, which I respect.
Um,
Marc:But when you act, I mean, you choose projects that you like to do, correct?
Marc:Have you turned down acting projects?
Guest:Yeah, some, not a lot.
Guest:I mean, yeah, there's... I probably have gotten way more selective recently.
Guest:But then again, it's like, you know, it's like as a comedian, it's like, how do you... Someone's going to pay you twice as much as you made...
Marc:Doing five dates on the road at theaters.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:There's something about, I think, a creative person, particularly when you just suck wind for so long that when someone wants you to be on – I'm trying to think of –
Guest:This one – it was like Models, Inc.
Guest:or something like – nothing – I never saw the show, you know, but it's like – but it was an offer, and I was like, how flattering.
Guest:But then there's the other side of me.
Guest:It's like, well, you know, do you want to do that?
Guest:But –
Guest:So it's like it's it's getting to a little bit more of a point where I'm saying no to things.
Marc:But you've had some sweet deals.
Marc:I mean, even even the the funny thing is about comics is when you start out, when you go out for movies, you get all worked up.
Marc:You're like, I'm going in on a movie audition.
Marc:It's always like, you want two of those?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And that's it.
Marc:That's the whole line.
Marc:And they're like, work with it.
Marc:Work with it.
Marc:Work with what?
Marc:I'm the guy at the thing that says you want two of those.
Guest:Either I look like the guy that's a construction worker or I don't.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But the interesting thing about you is because you have a unique look.
Marc:I mean, even in Three Kings, you had like a great scene.
Marc:oh thanks yeah i mean and like i i see it i'm like dude that's jim gaffigan don't people come up to you and go you're the guy from three kings um yeah when you know yeah and then you were in the now i'm being like chris farley then you were in that other one that was just on that i saw that i enjoyed the one that dave eggers wrote away we go yeah that was a good part that was a great part yeah i mean how long were you on set for that
Guest:I think like four days.
Marc:Isn't it fun?
Guest:It's so fun.
Marc:You feel like you've like arrived?
Guest:Well, it's the whole notion of arriving is a myth, but I do feel like, all right, hey, Sam Mendes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:This has to be a little bit of a brush fire.
Guest:Not at all.
Guest:You know, it's not, you know, it's...
Marc:Yeah, I have that thing where, like, if I do anything that requires a crew and there's cameras involved, that, like, right after, there's that moment, like, huh?
Marc:I did it.
Marc:I finally showed up.
Marc:Yeah, right?
Marc:And then, like, the next day, you sort of feel like calling them.
Marc:Like, I was good, right?
Marc:I was really, right?
Marc:How was I?
Marc:Are you going to get a good take out of that?
Marc:And then after about two days, you're like, I don't think they're going to call me anymore.
Guest:Well, I think there's also the other side where people do like you, and you know that they're sincere, and you're like, well, why can't you stuff me into that project?
Guest:I know.
Guest:And they're like, I can't wait to work with you again.
Guest:You're like, hey, that'd be great.
Guest:That'd be great.
Guest:And then you just see them do shows and movies, and you're like, but that guy liked me.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Or that woman thought I was brilliant.
Guest:Why is she?
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then you realize that they're lying to us to make us feel better.
Guest:I don't think, I think some of it is lying, but some of it is also like, we think that we could fit into any situation, but they're like, you know.
Marc:Why can't I play a black football player?
Guest:You know, yeah.
Marc:You know, I mean, you can change the part.
Marc:But I hate that when it goes the other way, where they're like, when you get the breakdown for the part, and it's like, man in his mid-70s with no arm.
Marc:And you're like, well, I'm clearly not right for this.
Marc:It's like they're not they haven't decided.
Marc:But even if they stretch it a little bit.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:How am I going to be that guy?
Guest:And then, you know, like you'll read it.
Guest:And, you know, I've called my agents and been like, you know, I'm not right for this part.
Guest:And they're like, you know what?
Guest:You were you know, there's all these kind of like you were a quest.
Guest:And it's like, well, it's a it's a Hasidic Hispanic guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I don't think I'm going to get the part.
Guest:And they're like, you know what?
Guest:They might be going a different way.
Guest:I'm like, they're not going a different way.
Guest:How different could it be?
Marc:It's called Hola Shalom.
Marc:But it is... They're not going to change the whole movie.
Guest:They're not.
Guest:I'm not going to fit in there.
Marc:Oh, but what I was getting at was that there was this moment I had, and I think you'll appreciate it only because you know me well enough to appreciate that.
Marc:It was probably one of those things that I did as a dig, but didn't realize it was until I walked away and someone was crying.
Marc:But...
Marc:I was talking to a comic who has been in a movie recently.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And he was at a comedy club with his wife.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And I said, well, congratulations on that.
Marc:He's like, yeah, you know, it's great.
Marc:You know, I'm very excited about it.
Marc:It was a great little scene.
Marc:I was really happy.
Marc:And I'm like, well, that's great that you got that.
Marc:He goes, you know, as I get older, I just realized, you know, you got to be open to anything.
Marc:And then, of course, I said, or not.
Marc:And you just have to accept that you're not open to anything.
Marc:I think that's called having personal principles.
Marc:And somehow or another, that came off as an attack to his wife, I think, because she was like, what do you mean?
Marc:I'm like, congratulations.
Marc:I don't know.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:It's like, you know, there's a certain... It wasn't you guys.
Guest:There's a certain conversation you have.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, I think that comedians, you know, have, you know, a deep-seated cynicism and like that...
Guest:You know, we kind of almost pull like, you know, you pull back.
Guest:I mean, you don't, you know, but there's that you pull back in social situations.
Marc:Well, you know what I'm actually hiding is a nice guy.
Marc:Underneath it all.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:A lot of guys, they put the nice guy out front.
Marc:They're like, you know, go ahead.
Marc:Go get the love you didn't get.
Marc:Go take it in from these people you don't know.
Marc:I go the other way.
Marc:I defy them to like the asshole.
Marc:Then maybe I'll show them the nice guy.
Guest:I love that story.
Marc:Isn't that great?
Guest:I see that in the miniseries.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Do you think I can pitch that?
Guest:I see an article in Men's Health.
Marc:I think you could play me in it.
Guest:I could.
Marc:Would that be a challenge?
Guest:Could you play me?
Guest:That would be.
Guest:I'd have to, you know, not eat for a year, but yeah, maybe I could do it.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So you're out in the Midwest.
Marc:You're doing.
Guest:Well, you know, it's like you make it sound like, look, he's not Jewish.
Guest:He's this goyim from the Midwest.
Guest:What do you expect?
Guest:Those Midwesterners are going to buy this stuff.
Guest:I mean, come on.
Guest:Let's be serious.
Guest:Vanilla to the vanilla people.
Guest:There's Dairy Queen there, folks.
Marc:Were you just channeling my brain?
Marc:Did you just.
Marc:It's a little bit.
Marc:I'm sorry.
Marc:I don't mean.
Marc:Let's say you're out there in the Midwest and occasionally Seattle.
Guest:And yeah.
Marc:And you play some parts of California where people like you.
Guest:You know, I'm not going to engage in defensiveness.
Marc:Really?
Marc:I'm not.
Marc:I'm not.
Marc:That nicotine gum really works for you.
Marc:I got to keep chewing on mine.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'm growing a tumor right now.
Marc:I guess my problem is, and I don't know if I've talked to you about this before, is the thing I envy about you is
Marc:is that you write a lot of jokes about a lot of things.
Marc:And for me, if it's not, if it isn't loaded with some existential, you know, equation, like if I can't wrench, you know, you know, darkness and light out of it, like I don't, I don't seem to deal with the mundane enough.
Marc:Now, you know,
Guest:He's deep and you're not.
Guest:But I think he's ready to introduce your wife to them.
Guest:This is my lovely wife and actually, you know, my writing partner in all my comedy.
Marc:Come up to the mic.
Guest:You're in now.
Guest:Taking over her comedic point of view.
Marc:Could you introduce her with her name, Jim?
Guest:This is my wonderful wife, Jeannie.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Because that was better than like, oh yeah, this is my wife.
Guest:Well, you've met her before.
Guest:That's why I would say that.
Marc:No, I know I've met her.
Marc:It's just that, you know, we're talking to a lot of people.
Marc:There are people right now in their automobiles.
Marc:Some people are on the treadmill.
Marc:You know, some people are very aggravated that they just spilled coffee in their life.
Guest:Or there's like 20 people sitting in front of their computer listening to this and...
Guest:Maybe it's that.
Guest:But here's my thing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Here's what I believe.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I believe that people get way too much credit and way too much criticism for doing their thing.
Guest:I think that comedians, whether it be Louis Black, Marc Maron,
Guest:Maybe I'm going to get in trouble with this.
Guest:Or Jeff Dunham.
Guest:Yeah, the puppet guy.
Guest:People are like, either someone's like, they are filthy.
Guest:Or someone says, they don't talk about anything important.
Guest:They're not attacking authority.
Guest:And the reality is, it's like, I think we're just kind of, we do what we do.
Guest:I agree with you, actually.
Guest:It's not like Garth Brooks, like, or what, you know, didn't he do like a rock album?
Guest:And it doesn't work.
Guest:When Eddie Murphy does a music, it doesn't work because he does that thing.
Guest:That's not to say that Eddie Murphy is not one of the greatest actors, but I think he is.
Guest:I do.
Guest:I think he is.
Marc:But I understand what you're saying.
Marc:And I actually over time have gotten to that same place that, you know, it's show business.
Marc:You know, we're not leaders.
Marc:We're not politicians.
Marc:We don't represent a community necessarily unless you're gay or black or Latino or Chinese community.
Marc:But I mean, you and I are not representing a community necessarily.
Marc:And even then you're still performing for a community.
Marc:You're still an entertainer.
Marc:So after a certain point, the criticisms have to be within the realm of like, you know, we're in show business.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And if you succeed and you can live with yourself, you've done an amazing thing.
Guest:But it's also, I think, understanding, and this is going to sound really kind of corny, but it's understanding your voice.
Guest:And it's like your voice works best when you're discussing things that you discuss.
Guest:When I am a 6'2",
Guest:you know, 230 pound blonde guy who has pale skin.
Guest:If I talked about politics, you know, it's not like I just started off, you know, being a straight observational guy.
Guest:I talked about some politics.
Guest:I talked about, I did impressions, all these different things.
Guest:But the reality is, is like,
Guest:There is some – let me put this in a larger context.
Guest:We're insane.
Guest:We go on stage and make strangers laugh.
Guest:There's nothing normal about that.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And so what we elicit is that same high that we got from doing this thing.
Guest:And so like we work it out.
Guest:It's like you might have an unnecessary censorship –
Guest:that you put on yourself against an observational joke.
Guest:You know, it's like, I mean, people evolve, but there's something about it, like, where I just think that it's kind of like people are like, when is Motorhead going to write a country song?
Guest:I am waiting.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:It's just like, it's a little bit...
Marc:No, I understand.
Marc:And it makes me – it drives me to ask the question, do you know what my voice is?
Marc:Because I could use some help.
Marc:Could you give me some notes?
Marc:Could you watch a half hour and just say this?
Guest:I think you're – you are a social satirist.
Guest:But I would also say that there is something about –
Guest:there's something about different styles of comedy and also just how there's different styles of music.
Guest:But there's also like, you know, some people are about some subtext.
Guest:Some people are about yelling.
Guest:Some people are preachers.
Guest:Some people are clowns.
Marc:Right.
Marc:But you just know what you do.
Marc:Cause like when I write jokes, like if I write an observational joke, which I have, well, a lot of times what happens to me is that like, it's almost like you'll want to hang yourself.
Guest:Right.
Marc:No, no, no.
Marc:I mean, I can definitely appreciate a good joke and I, and I have them within what I do, but there's some part of me.
Marc:I always think of that, you know, that, that scene, like even when I do, I just put together a show set for the tonight show.
Marc:So even when I do that, you remember the scene in Butch Cassie and the Sundance kid, when they go to get the job to protect the guys taking gold across the Canyon and they're, they got to shoot and Sundance is shooting and he can't hit the piece of wood.
Marc:And, and Paul Newman's like, you know, what's, what's the problem?
Marc:And he, and he goes, well, can I move?
Marc:you know, and then he moves and he's able to blow it all apart, that there's something that restricts me.
Marc:Like, I feel like it's not, I'm not quite, you know, I can't just let the joke sit on its own.
Marc:I have to blather on a bit.
Marc:Right, right, right.
Marc:But that's how I do it.
Guest:I know, yeah.
Guest:I mean, I also think that there's something about, um,
Guest:There is – I mean comedy has such a – this is really me sounding pompous.
Guest:But there's something – there's such a rich history of dealing with censorship in stand-up comedy and dealing with kind of like challenging the social norms.
Guest:You know, Lenny Bruce or Carlin and stuff like that.
Guest:But the thing is, it's like there's also –
Guest:You know, people want to laugh.
Guest:And, you know, I mean, I definitely don't want to be known as vanilla and stuff like that.
Marc:You're not.
Marc:You're known as like a slightly disturbed.
Guest:There is something about like there's always been, you know, someone like Letterman or Bill Murray, and I'm not associating myself with them.
Guest:But there's always been people that were not –
Guest:Lenny Bruce.
Guest:Of course, no.
Marc:It's like the difference between comedians and stand-ups and clowns.
Marc:All that doesn't matter.
Marc:The weird thing about it matters to a degree, but we're all doing the same thing.
Marc:But the interesting thing about you is you're kind of perverse in that meta voice that you created for yourself, and you know it's odd.
Guest:Well, you know, Todd Glass... I mean, you know, I'm sure you get... You know, this is a comedy nerd conversation that we're having right here.
Marc:That's right.
Guest:I'm playing to them a bit because... Well, I'm a huge comedy nerd.
Guest:And the thing... You know, like Todd Glass has this great point where it's like... Comedians... You know, everything's evolving and moving along.
Guest:So it used to be kind of like...
Guest:you know, Seinfeld, the observational comic, or, you know, Lenny Bruce, this outspoken social satirist.
Guest:But what, you know, Todd's thing is that, or the clown, you know, or the preacher.
Guest:And Todd's belief, you know, was that you need two of those things now.
Guest:You can't just be the observational guy like Seinfeld.
Guest:You know, you can't just be
Guest:The true eccentric like Emo Phillips was.
Guest:You have to be you have to combine two of them because there is a sophistication that's almost particularly among like a 14 year old that's watched Comedy Central for seven years.
Marc:But yeah, there's also a lot of people that think comedy started at Mr. Show.
Marc:And oddly, you know, to kind of say something about Todd Glass, he didn't just choose two.
Marc:I think he chose like seven.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Because he's like him and Dana Gould are like watching the history of comedy.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Anytime you watch those two, you're like, oh, my God, they're actually.
Guest:You're like, there's the Borscht belt.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:There's everything.
Marc:It's all in there.
Marc:And I think that's in all of us a little bit.
Marc:But the process of writing.
Marc:So your wife writes for you.
Guest:We write together.
Marc:We write together.
Marc:But is there moments where you're like, Jim, Jim, you're eating yogurt like a monkey.
Marc:You should talk about that.
Marc:Do you have those moments?
Guest:Well, yeah.
Guest:There's moments where I'll introduce a topic.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But a lot of it is just like going over topics and just like beating the hell out of them.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's like finding a topic and just, you know.
Guest:Just having two people's minds just dissect that one thing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's like, did you think about this?
Marc:Here's how that would have went when I was married.
Marc:She would say something.
Marc:I'd go, what, you don't think it's good?
No.
Marc:And she'd go, no, I'm not saying that.
Marc:And I'd say, but why would you rewrite it like that?
Marc:And she'd say, I just think it would be funnier.
Marc:I'm like, why don't I just not fucking do the joke then?
Marc:Right.
Marc:And it never got very far with that.
Guest:Well, there's conversations like that.
Oh, good.
Guest:You know, it's like any creative process.
Guest:Or I'll, like, beg him to do something.
Guest:He's like, that, you know, didn't work one time.
Guest:That's not going to work.
Guest:You know, and I'm just like, one audience?
Guest:Oh, good.
Guest:You're going to waste that on one audience?
Marc:Right.
Guest:And I'll try to—and that's actually some of the—
Guest:We're doing some seafood stuff now and the seafood stuff.
Guest:Can we get a preview?
Guest:Can we get a preview of the seafood material, please?
Guest:But the seafood stuff I've been trying to get in for like five years.
Guest:Holy shit.
Marc:She's committed to the seafood stuff and you're leaving her hanging?
Guest:I think it's hilarious.
Marc:Five years?
Guest:No, but some of it is like.
Guest:I'm not buying it.
Guest:You know, if you have – I don't know.
Guest:Do it.
Marc:Come on, Jim.
Marc:We're among friends.
Guest:Well, my whole thing is like I do think that if you have a bunch of jokes around a certain topic, you know, like if you sit there and you spend all your time segueing –
Guest:Kind of like – you know what's interesting about seafood is it seems like they're insects in the ocean.
Guest:And then you change the topic.
Guest:It's like that joke better be the best joke ever.
Marc:No, you kind of weave it through.
Marc:And then like later you'll say like insects in the ocean.
Guest:And you bring it back.
Guest:But if you introduce a topic and you kind of strip it bare –
Guest:You know, you can have A's and B's, you know, different levels of jokes in there.
Marc:Yeah, I agree with you.
Guest:So I had seafood jokes a couple years ago.
Guest:And she was like, those are great seafood jokes.
Guest:And I'm like, what?
Guest:You know, two?
Guest:You know?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So it's growing the seafood junk?
Guest:Yeah, so we took it back out.
Guest:You pulled it back out.
Marc:You put it back up on the anvil.
Marc:Start hammering.
Guest:Put it on the anvil.
Guest:Start hammering.
Marc:So what do we got?
Yeah.
Guest:We're building a chunk about seafood.
Guest:You're a comedian.
Guest:Hold on.
Guest:Let me check my list.
Guest:So, Jim, you like shrimp.
Marc:You like shrimp?
Marc:Jim, you know, I had an experience in Queens where I had to buy a red snapper.
Marc:It was a whole red snapper from a fella.
Guest:I understand you've been eating a lot of shrimp lately.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Is that true?
Guest:No, I understand you just went out to dinner to a seafood restaurant.
Guest:Is that true?
Guest:See, now I'm going to get in trouble for bringing up seafood.
Guest:No, no.
Guest:It's totally just the awkwardness of every... You know, if only that happened at radio stations, that would be great.
Marc:Well, what I've been experiencing now is that I'm finding that I have...
Marc:Because I do radio and because I'm doing the podcast and because I have certain fans that have known me a long time that they know me much better than than I know them per se, because I don't know them at all.
Marc:Right, right.
Marc:Do you have.
Marc:But they come up to me and they're like, how are your cats?
Marc:And by the way, I've been working on a fairly significant cat chunk for you.
Marc:And that's that's new for me.
Marc:But you have a certain type of fan.
Marc:Can you share some disturbing moments perhaps or some, you know, some things that have thrown you where you've shown up and either someone has maybe a tattoo of you on them or?
Guest:No, I mean, I, you know, I would say that the weirdest thing is the whole Hot Pocket thing, that it is, you know, gone forever.
Marc:What happened?
Marc:So you have like that's a famous.
Guest:It's just like literally I'll be with my kids in the airport and someone will just yell Hot Pocket.
Marc:Like you're the Hot Pocket guy.
Guest:He's the Hot Pocket guy.
Guest:And it's like it's so weird because it's just like this one thing that turned into this huge thing.
Guest:That's just this little tiny thing.
Guest:It's like I remember.
Guest:Everyone loved it.
Guest:I remember when I was at Caroline.
Guest:He can't get away from it.
Guest:I remember when I was at Caroline's and I was doing, you know, one of those horrible Sunday night shows.
Guest:There were 20 people there and Vic Henley was emceeing.
Guest:And I did a couple of these Hot Pocket jokes.
Guest:And I got off stage and I was like, you know, and it was a while ago, you know.
Guest:I was like, I don't know.
Guest:I just saw the commercial.
Guest:And he goes, dude, that's funny.
Guest:You got it.
Guest:You know, so it's like.
Guest:Henry said that?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I was like, all right.
Guest:And so, you know, it was kind of because I would do it at that point.
Guest:And there would be like.
Guest:Some people that, you know, it's kind of ironic to say, but not everyone knew what that product was.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But, you know, the weird thing about the Hot Pocket thing is that there's just something very strange about people just yelling it.
Guest:You know, it's like someone addressing you by what shirt you're wearing.
Guest:Blue shirt!
Guest:You know, and you're like, hi.
Guest:You know, you have no idea how to respond.
Guest:You don't know whether to say thank you.
Guest:You don't know if they're...
Guest:Being a dick about it.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And, you know, there's people outside the theaters walking around in Hot Pocket outfits.
Guest:No.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And they think it's part of the show.
Guest:Well, Hot Pockets did research.
Guest:This is what I found out.
Guest:The company Hot Pockets.
Guest:Hot Pockets did research and found that...
Guest:And I was helping sell Hot Pockets.
Guest:Even though he like trashes them.
Guest:Even though I talk about diarrhea the entire time.
Guest:And so what they did is they would just start sending someone dressed as a Hot Pocket to my shows.
Guest:The Hot Pocket people.
Guest:Handing out like coupons and stuff.
Guest:And so I was like, you know, no, because I don't want to be known as just the hot pocket guy.
Marc:Well, my fear when you brought that up was that this was some fans idea of a way to connect with you is to dress as a hot pocket.
Marc:I'm almost relieved that it was the company and not some just weird guy going, Jim, look at my hot pocket.
Marc:No, no, no.
Guest:I don't.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No, he's not like Elvis or anything.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No, it's no, there's nothing like that, really.
Marc:So what do you got coming up?
Marc:Because we're going to probably do this one tomorrow.
Marc:So what do you think?
Guest:What do I got?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'm in an episode of Law & Order.
Marc:That you did with Michael Showalter because I watched you guys tweet like a couple of cute little guys, a couple of girls tweeting away on the set of Law & Order.
Guest:Yeah, and there's like Baron Vons in the episode.
Guest:There's like five comedians in the episode.
Marc:Were any of them playing comedians?
Guest:No.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Yeah, it's quite the coincidence.
Marc:You got any shows coming up?
Guest:I'm going to Nashville and Dallas in October.
Guest:I guess we're in October.
Guest:Are we?
Guest:Or any second.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:It'll be October when you're talking.
Guest:And then doing some colleges, Rochester and Rhode Island and Florida State.
Guest:Spectacular.
Guest:Very exciting.
Marc:I will show up at two of those gigs in a Hot Pocket outfit.
Guest:That would be great.
Marc:If you bring me on stage.
Guest:That would be great.
Marc:And let me do some political satire to rest as a Hot Pocket.
Marc:You know, educate these people.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:We'll sneak it in.
Guest:I'll be like, I'm the Hot Pocket guy.
Guest:Who wants a public option?
Marc:No?
Guest:Yeah, love it.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So I'll just ride down with you guys then?
Guest:Yeah, we can do that.
Marc:Awesome.
Guest:Thank you, Mark.
Marc:I feel like it went awkward there.
Marc:I love you, Mark.
Marc:You know I love you.
Guest:I love him more.
Marc:It didn't go awkward.
Marc:I would say it went, really?
Guest:Really.
Marc:Now it's awkward.
Marc:Now it's a little awkward.
Marc:Do you want to be my co-host?
Marc:Sure.
Marc:Oh, look at that.
Guest:How many kids you got?
Guest:Who's next, Mark?
Marc:Three.
Marc:You have three children?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:On purpose?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And they're how old?
Guest:Five, three, and five months.
Marc:Oh, that's right.
Marc:A baby.
Marc:So you guys must be so happy to be out.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:She'll be five months October 10th.
Marc:That's very exciting.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And you like all your kids.
Guest:Oh, I love them.
Guest:They're so awesome.
Marc:That's spectacular.
Guest:They're really great.
Marc:You like them?
Guest:No complaints.
Marc:Huge fan of them.
Marc:I really enjoy their work.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Well, now it's gotten awkward, officially, for some reason.
Marc:But I'm glad you had kids.
Marc:And I don't think I'm going to have any.
Marc:So that's probably good, right?
Marc:Can I have one of yours?
Guest:This is a low note.
Guest:Let's bring it that up, Mark.
Guest:I was your co-host.
Marc:We already outroed.
Marc:We don't have to use it.
Marc:You know, it's like fine for rubbing your kids in my face.
Marc:It was going well.
Guest:And now I got to be reminded.
Guest:We had them.
Guest:Despite me.
Guest:So that you would feel bad about it.
Marc:No, I know that.
Marc:i've known you a long time i know what's going on i'm on to you and louie getting movies despite me and todd barry appearing in films i know what this is about this is all about ha ha ha mark who doesn't have a movie who doesn't have a child who isn't on television all the time i i understand what how this business why we came i know it's so weird what's like that is what's going on really it's actually an intervention
Guest:It's a narcissistic intervention.
Guest:Frankly, it's an exhausting, and I hope this isn't weird, but your mom and dad have been paying for it, and then they stopped paying.
Guest:So now Todd and everyone.
Marc:You're all stuck in it, and no one's going to pay it anymore.
Guest:We're not going to do it anymore if we're getting paid.
Guest:But then we fell in love with you, and we couldn't stop.
Marc:I know.
Marc:I know.
Marc:Thanks for coming, you guys, Jeannie and Jim Gaffigan.
Thank you.
Marc:Jim Gaffigan has been on the show before, and you've got to love Jim Gaffigan.
Marc:You've got to love his wife as well, who is, I think, certainly the better half of Jim Gaffigan.
Marc:But I did run into him backstage at the Eugene Merman Comedy Festival in Brooklyn, and we hung out a bit, and so I figured I'd throw a little bit of Jim Gaffigan on, because fuck, who doesn't love Jim Gaffigan?
Marc:Jim Gaffigan.
Marc:I perform for these audiences, and you would think that someone like me, I alienate everybody.
Marc:But I don't know if they're alternative crowds or if they're just crowds that feel a little more superior to other people because of their community.
Marc:But it's not the same as performing for a theater of people in, say, the Midwest.
Guest:Stand-up is the best aspect of the entertainment industry because it's built on substance.
Guest:There's style and substance.
Guest:It's not like you can get lucky and get on Dexter, and you automatically have the credentials of cool.
Guest:Stand-up, in any given room, whether it's hipsters or the guys that develop all the iPhone apps, if you go on in front of them,
Guest:You've got to prove your stuff.
Guest:And I think that, you know, that's where stand-up is like an equalizer, where it's like, you know, if you are, you know, someone who doesn't communicate with them, stand-up's very much a conversation.
Guest:It's like, luckily, you know, we live in New York.
Guest:And so it's like, you know, in the end, it is...
Guest:as like in front of an audience that is, you know, more Americana?
Guest:Mm-hmm.
Guest:Probably not.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But there's a, you know, there's a true serum to alternative rooms, which is why, you know,
Guest:You know, Monday through Thursday, I'm mostly at alternative rooms.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Because, you know... Funny is funny, and that's where you're going to... Funny is funny, and also, you know, it's like, you know, there's something about, you know...
Guest:Some guy who's working for some graphic designer, they're creative peers, really.
Marc:Sure, sure.
Marc:I agree.
Marc:I just have problems with that.
Marc:Just like anything else, there are groups of people that make decisions based on groupthink.
Guest:Oh, are you kidding?
Guest:I mean, I am so white bread looking.
Guest:You know, it's like I've spent like I've done stand up for 20 years.
Guest:I go on stage.
Guest:It's why some of what it's probably why Conan is so self deprecating.
Guest:It's because there's a certain appearance thing.
Guest:Look, you look cool.
Guest:I go on stage.
Guest:I look like John Tesh.
Guest:Yeah, some of it is I'm crazy.
Marc:But, you know, that's a little crazy because everybody knows you and you're a fucking master craftsman of the joke.
Marc:Two questions.
Marc:Have you been on Dexter?
Marc:And did you do a show for people that design apps?
Marc:No.
Marc:Oh, those are interesting things to pull up.
Marc:No, but... I mean, the performing for a group of people that designed... I think, you know, I would say The Wire, but, you know, it's like, you know... Did you do The Wire?
Guest:No, my God, but that was a masterpiece, wasn't it?
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:You got to start at the beginning and watch the whole thing.
Marc:No, I did.
Marc:I did.
Marc:I couldn't stop.
Marc:I mean, I was literally, like, on drugs.
Marc:I would watch four episodes back to back.
Marc:That, you know, it's...
Guest:I feel like I told you to watch The Wire.
Guest:At least you don't have three kids.
Guest:Jeannie and I, you know, we sit there.
Marc:So you make them watch The Wire.
Marc:That's what parents do.
Marc:You say, now we learn.
Guest:Now we learn.
Marc:It's okay.
Marc:It's real.
Guest:It's grit.
Guest:It's genius.
Marc:I haven't talked to you in a long time.
Marc:What have you been doing?
Guest:You know, I mean, Jeannie and I were writing this new hour.
Marc:Wait, are we done with the kids?
Marc:I mean, are we having more?
Marc:Are we done?
Marc:Three?
Guest:You know, we are open.
Guest:You're a machine, man.
Guest:You're a machine.
Guest:I'm a machine.
Guest:She's one of nine.
Guest:I'm one of six.
Guest:But also, it's... Oh, my God.
Guest:I mean, it doesn't, you know... We got nothing.
Marc:now i mean people look at us like we're crazy but it's like i mean i would love to have as many kids as we can you know my brother's the same way he's got three of his own and now his wife has four wow there's seven yeah it's like jewish daycare over there every day
Guest:Oh, I love it.
Guest:I love it.
Guest:And that's saying I'm a lazy guy.
Guest:I'm also someone that needs downtime.
Guest:But I would give up all my laziness and give up all my downtime to hang out with my kids.
Marc:So you guys are writing a movie?
Marc:Is that what you're saying?
Guest:No, we're writing a new hour.
Guest:We're trying to do something evolving.
Marc:What number hour would this be for you if you were thinking in those terms?
Marc:I talked to Louis the other day.
Marc:If you're doing full tours every year, you've really got to scrap it, right?
Yeah.
Guest:yeah i mean i'm not a the you know i don't have that kind of absolutist kind of british view like welcome back to edinburgh you can't say the word that you've used before but um and you know we're we write very observationally so it's but this is our four or five yeah you know and and
Guest:We write a lot about food, so we've kind of gone through the food.
Guest:You've gone through all the foods?
Guest:Yeah, we don't want it to be kind of like, isn't it adorable when a two-year-old does this?
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:I've always kind of described that if you mention in discussion the topics that Jeannie and I write, it sounds like horrible stand-up.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:It's like, really?
Guest:They're doing McDonald's jokes?
Guest:You know, it's like, wow, look at that.
Guest:But some of it is, you know... Yeah.
Marc:No, but see, I think that what I've grown to realize as I get more humility and pummeled by life is that...
Marc:That you represent a singular style.
Marc:I mean, you are now, you know, Jim Gaffigan, the guy who people after a certain point, it's my belief that one builds a clown and, you know, the clown you've built is stable and your style is known.
Marc:And the people that love you go to hear your style.
Marc:They're not sitting there making notes as to whether or not, you know, I can't accept that joke and maybe you should lose that punchline.
Marc:I mean, it's an experience.
Marc:So, you know, your topics are your topics.
Marc:And I don't think speaking in general ways or speaking about topics that have been spoken about represents anything negative or anything hackneyed.
Marc:I mean, your point of view is your point of view.
Marc:But I think because you're you,
Marc:You assume this thing.
Marc:I've seen this happen at UCB.
Marc:I've seen it happen here that you could put, like, you know, like you did very well.
Marc:And if Caparulo went up or if Dove Davidoff went up, if any of the people, if any of the hundreds of comics that don't have their snap of approval went up, they would kill because they know how to do comedy.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:No, yeah.
Guest:That's the equalizer.
Guest:I mean, your style is very kind of more suited to an alternative scene.
Marc:I'm not sure where it's suited to.
Marc:I'm a very marginal act.
Marc:And I certainly couldn't draw that many people.
Marc:It's just the way it is.
Marc:If I have any criticism myself is that I did not appreciate the idea of...
Marc:of honing an act, of being consistent, of not flying by the seat of my patch as much.
Marc:I certainly appreciate people who have the discipline to maintain a style and do the work, which I do, but my process does not yield tremendous floods of people.
Guest:I think you're not giving yourself enough credit.
Marc:I really don't think you are.
Marc:I seem to inspire people.
Marc:I seem to represent some sort of... I think comics see me and go, I really like to be real like Marin, but then I say, do yourself a favor, put an act together.
Guest:I think it's also kind of... Stand-up is such a strange journey, and it's so individual, and I'm romanticizing it here, but it's like there's something about it that is...
Guest:you know, kind of so individual, it's kind of like going through therapy.
Guest:It's like some people go in and they're like, you know what?
Guest:I'm going to spill all my guts.
Guest:Some people go in there and they're like, you know what?
Guest:I, uh, I, I'm getting angry at a cab driver.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Where it's like you or an eye might be going and go, you know, I was a total just jerk yesterday.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I don't know what motivated that.
Marc:Well, that's what I do on stage.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And that's, you know, and some of it is, and then I'll try to figure out what motivated it for 20 minutes.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Guest:Every now and then, New York Magazine will do an article on stand-up or Entertainment Weekly or whatever these guys do.
Guest:And it's like, as a comedian, you obviously want to be in it.
Guest:But there's a certain thing.
Guest:It's like, only comedians can really talk about comedy and talk about what's going on.
Guest:And that's why I want to present you with this award.
Guest:No, but you know what I mean?
Guest:There is something about like...
Marc:no jim gaffigan's giving me the jim gaffigan award the jim gaffigan award speaking about but there is something about you know there's certain things where you're like all right that kind of that kind of is the inside shit yeah you know what i mean and i actually said shit no but you know what i mean jim gaffigan said shit you heard it here first well i just uh i'm very impressed that you've kept your shit together so long
Marc:Barely.
Marc:Jim Gaffigan, folks.
Marc:Thanks.
Marc:All right, I'm going to call Jim Gaffigan.
Marc:He's got this special out.
Marc:Came out yesterday.
Marc:And I want to talk to him about it.
Marc:He did the same thing Louie did.
Marc:It's available online at jimgaffigan.com.
Marc:But I told him I'd call and just talk to him a bit about it.
Marc:Because this is exciting, man.
Marc:Comics are taking complete ownership of their shit, and it's a beautiful thing.
Marc:So let's give Jim a call.
Guest:Hello?
Marc:Jim.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Mark Maron.
Guest:Oh, hey, Mark.
Guest:How are you?
Marc:What's up, buddy?
Marc:I wanted to talk to you about the special.
Guest:Oh, sure.
Guest:That would be great.
Guest:I'd appreciate it.
Marc:You've jumped in, and now you're going to sell your special online exclusively.
Marc:And this is a whole new what?
Marc:What is it, 90 minutes, an hour and 15?
Marc:What is it?
Guest:It's an hour and 15, 75 minutes.
Marc:And it's nothing that anyone has heard before from you.
Guest:Well, if you've been to live shows, you've seen it.
Marc:Well, but I mean, most people have not seen it.
Marc:So how does this work?
Marc:How do people get... When is it up?
Marc:Is it up today?
Marc:Today being Thursday?
Guest:Yes, it is up.
Guest:It's been up for a day.
Guest:And it's an interesting thing.
Guest:I'm going off of Louis Vliet.
Guest:I was looking at completely different ideas.
Guest:I wanted to do something where I had...
Guest:My idea was that...
Guest:an advertiser like Microsoft would make you watch a commercial for a minute, and then people would be able to download it for free.
Guest:And so Microsoft would give me, you know, it would just be like this key thing, but of course Microsoft was like, who are you?
Guest:You know, they're like, what?
Guest:No, that's great.
Guest:I don't know who you are, though.
Guest:So then while I was doing that and talking to the usual suspects, Louis did this thing, and look, it's...
Guest:It's Louie.
Guest:You know, Louie, he figured it out.
Guest:It's like he was like, all right, it's like you make it a really low price and you make it really easy to buy.
Guest:And, you know, and I struggled.
Guest:Jeannie and I were like thinking of ideas.
Guest:How can we do this different?
Guest:It's like I'm obviously not going to charge more than $5.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I was like, all right, I'll make it.
Guest:I'll make it $4.
Guest:And then I was like, well, that's, you know, there's nothing unique about that.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then I was like, all right, I'll, you know, every dollar from every, $1 from every purchase will go to a charity.
Guest:You know, obviously Louis gave money away, but it was like,
Guest:built in and then you know louis even said he goes you know the irony is is you could end up giving away more money than i did which is a very nice thing to say but let me understand so you and louis are competing for the amount of money you give away to a charity no
Marc:This is basically just a competition.
Guest:Could you not say that Louis C.K.
Guest:and you are in a competition?
Marc:No, no.
Marc:What I'm trying to show you is that this is, you know, ultimately your special is a competition with Louis to see who the better person is.
Guest:Well, first of all, let me be very clear.
Guest:Let me be very clear.
Guest:Louis...
Guest:louis did something that uh louis is the comedian of today there's just and it's it's it's undeniable and uh early on i did i realized that i was not gonna sell as many as louis because jim jim i i'm excited about your special and i want you to get excited about it i am
Marc:I think that Gaffigan fans around the world, I think you and Louis are different comedians.
Marc:You're both very popular and big comedians.
Marc:You have different audiences, but you share some of the same audience.
Marc:You're professional.
Marc:People love you.
Marc:You sell out theaters all around the country.
Marc:And you bring entertainment to people of all ages.
Marc:And I just think you're going to have to live with that.
Marc:And I think, like, not only am I excited about this special, but my listeners will be excited.
Marc:And that's why I'm talking to you right now, because I want people to go buy it.
Marc:So why don't you tell me where they can get that before you disregard the entire project?
Guest:You know what?
Guest:You are such a dick.
Guest:But JimGaffigan.com.
Marc:How am I being a dick?
Marc:I'm listening to you speak honestly about your special, but you're being a little self-demeaning, and I think that you're a great comic, but that's great.
Marc:So it's at jimgaffigan.com, and how much did you decide on for the money?
Guest:I'm giving it $5, and from every purchase, a dollar goes to the Bob Woodruff Fund that helps veterans and their families.
Marc:Well, that's fucking awesome.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, no, I mean, I'm excited because...
Guest:I think that I've figured out off of Louis Lee that, you know, to take the commerce out of the purchase.
Guest:It's like, it's a low price.
Guest:You know, this is not about greed.
Guest:A dollar of it's going there.
Guest:I'll make my money back.
Guest:Maybe I'll make a little money.
Guest:But, like, this is not some elaborate plan to get a giant pile of money.
Guest:This is...
Guest:you know, going off of Louis Vliet.
Marc:Yeah, but ultimately, what it does do is it gives you a lot of creative control.
Marc:It gives you the experience of producing your own special, of making your own choices, of doing it exactly the way you want to.
Marc:So I think, you know, outside of, you know, whether it's to make a pile of money or not, or whether or not it's to give a bundle of money to charity, which is wonderful, it's just that it's a new...
Marc:way of presenting the artist's work that the artist has complete control over and I think that's very exciting.
Guest:Yeah, no, it is really exciting and it's also one of those things where you know when you go on stage when you haven't been on stage for a while and there's that fear but it's the fear that you love because that's what I've been feeling for two weeks.
Guest:It's like...
Guest:You know, I'm confident some people will buy it.
Guest:But, you know, I have no idea.
Guest:In the end, comedians, I think, there's this thrill-seeker kind of risk-taker.
Guest:You know, there's nothing normal about going on stage and making strangers laugh.
Guest:It's very familiar.
Guest:It's a very...
Guest:It's a fun thing.
Guest:It's a fun... It's a scary high.
Marc:No, absolutely.
Marc:And I think that, like, what is amazing about what you're doing and what Louis did, and I think Aziz did it as well, is that it really is a movement towards...
Marc:complete creative freedom uh with what we do which i i think is fairly unheard of and in in i'm i'm happy it's happening i'm waiting for somebody to spoil the party i'm waiting for somebody to say that they own the internet but uh but but but that hasn't happened yet and and in terms of how long did it take you to put together the material well genie and i we wrote it for two years i mean you know it's
Guest:This is definitely, you know, harvesting the crops of two years.
Marc:Well, that's an incredible bargain for $5.
Marc:See, that's the amazing thing is that you offer something at a good value in a unique way, but, you know, you worked fucking hard, and I'm sure it's great.
Marc:Oh, thanks, buddy.
Marc:So, okay, so they just go to jimgaffigan.com.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And you can get it there.
Guest:Yeah, it's, I mean, I think, you know, when I bought it, I think it was like three clicks.
Guest:You know, it's like click here.
Guest:Type in, you know, I typed in my Amazon, and there it was.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Well, I'm going to obviously play this on the podcast and send some people your way.
Guest:Thanks, buddy.
Guest:I appreciate it.
Marc:Do you feel good about everything that's happened here on the phone?
Guest:I feel great about it.
Guest:And I actually, since Grand Rapids, I've been kind of sitting there thinking of what
Guest:is what this phone call is going to be like.
Guest:I'm like, how crazy is crazy Marc Maron going to be?
Guest:Is he going to confront me on my laziness or my floppiness?
Guest:Or is he going to be kind of, you know, the champion of comedians?
Guest:Or is he going to be the older brother I've known for 15 years where we can bond on our anger?
Marc:And what was I?
Guest:I think it was the older brothers that...
Guest:You know, it was two crazy old men talking.
Marc:Yeah, but I'm also thrilled for you, and I hope you do well with this thing, Jim.
Marc:I harbor no contempt towards you, and whatever happened in Grand Rapids, whatever misscheduling that happened and you had to cancel at the last minute, that anger is all gone.
Marc:I let that go because I know you're busy, and I know that...
Marc:That it was not an intentional thing.
Marc:And I have absolutely no malice towards you whatsoever.
Marc:And I have a great deal of respect for you.
Marc:And I like you.
Guest:Well, thank you.
Marc:And I think you're funny.
Guest:Hey, that's the only one that matters.
Marc:And I never say anything bad about you ever.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:The thing that's so great about podcasts is like comedians are just sitting there talking.
Guest:And in a way, you know, comedians just end up being the Kardashians of podcasts.
Guest:People are listening just going, these lunatics.
Marc:I don't know if that's true.
Marc:Okay, so now you're taking a shot at what I'm doing for a living.
Marc:Listen, Jim, you snuck one in on your older brother and you think you didn't notice.
Marc:I get it.
Marc:How's the kids?
Guest:They're multiplying as we speak.
Marc:You have more?
Guest:No, they're great.
Marc:How many have four?
Guest:Four.
Guest:And, you know, it's great.
Guest:It really is great.
Guest:I mean, it is exhausting, and it would sound like every cliche you've ever heard, but I would have it no other way.
Marc:Are you calling it quits, though?
Marc:Is this it?
Marc:You done?
Guest:I would say there's... I would not bet I'm done.
Guest:Wow.
Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That's nuts, and you don't even have to do that now, and it's not even part of your religion.
Marc:You're addicted to children.
Marc:I think you should maybe go to a meeting for that.
Guest:No, it's funny.
Guest:You know how there's something about when you go on stage and you say something, and there's a little bit of a shock.
Guest:It's not just saying something irreverent or taboo.
Guest:It's about you say something, and you see a twinkle in someone's eye that...
Guest:you know, there's almost something kind of fun about it.
Guest:That's not the reason why I'm not doing it, but there's almost kind of like, I love kind of a panicked, concerned look when people find out I have four kids.
Guest:It's almost kind of,
Guest:We all love to surprise a little bit, right?
Guest:I mean, I love it.
Marc:I thought you were going to go a different direction with that.
Marc:I thought you were going to say that moment where you say something on stage and you see that sparkle in somebody's eye, that you can get that all the time with children.
Marc:And that's why I have to keep having them, because once they get older than 12, that goes away.
Guest:No, no.
Guest:My oldest is seven, and there is something about...
Guest:something so terrifying and overwhelming about children that
Guest:You know, you just walk around just, you know, in love, happy, and defeated at the same time and grateful.
Marc:I mean, you know what I mean?
Marc:In love, happy, defeated, and grateful.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Is that the name of the special?
Marc:Because that should be.
It's great.
Marc:All right, man.
Marc:Well, I wish you the best of luck with it, and we'll talk soon.
Guest:All right.
Guest:Thanks, buddy.
Guest:I appreciate it.
Marc:You bet, Jim.
Marc:Talk to you later.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Bye.
Guest:Bye.
Marc:Jim, thank you.
Marc:It's nice of you to come by, but I got to say that it's weird that you're going door to door with the book.
Guest:Well, you know, I just think this is an important community out here.
Marc:And, you know... But it's not even... It's just out today.
Marc:And shouldn't you be doing something else?
Marc:I mean, I understand that you... No, no.
Guest:It's... I also... I'm also giving WTF stickers.
Guest:Well, okay.
Guest:Well, thank you for doing that.
Guest:You know, it's like Food of Love Story and WTF stickers.
Guest:And also Stamps.com.
Marc:You had to write this book, though.
Marc:Stamps.com.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:Stamps would be very happy.
Marc:That's the... What is my code?
Marc:Stamps.com.
Marc:Code WTF.
Marc:Mary.
Marc:WTF.
Marc:Are you using Stamps.com?
Guest:Well, ever since I started listening to your podcast... All right, all right.
Guest:You know, there's two...
Guest:that are dropped every week.
Guest:And it's pretty impressive.
Guest:Well, thank you.
Marc:But now the book, like, I kind of make fun of you sometimes because, you know, when people go, I go, Gaffigan's great.
Marc:He's one of the best comics working.
Marc:You know, but he talks primarily about food.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:But it's funny.
Guest:Oh, well, thanks.
Guest:Well, you know, it's... We all eat.
Guest:I think we do all eat.
Guest:And I think there's something about...
Guest:the topic of food where i just stumbled into it where i mean look you you start off doing stand-up and you you try on different kind of personas right and you eventually just go back to the persona you had right right but there was a moment where i was angry i was smoking a cigarette i was more like a tell and i was you know energetic that's right yeah and so then i came back to this guy who's just kind of this
Guest:He romanticizes laziness and the it, what I want.
Guest:And what I found with food is I could talk about food and there wouldn't be any grimace in the audience of like, I don't agree with this premise.
Marc:I find that with cats.
Marc:It's bothering me.
Marc:But you can talk about animals and you're not going to have, everyone's going to be like, oh.
Guest:It's interesting.
Guest:I talk, I make a reference to saying that I'm a cat lover, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I can feel some of the dog lovers going, all right, I guess we'll let it go.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:But the thing with food is even if somebody is a longshoreman or they eat lobster every night, they don't care if I don't like lobster.
Guest:It's just a vehicle for jokes.
Guest:Do you like lobster?
Guest:No, I don't.
Guest:It's just bug meat.
Guest:Because there's not a nickel's worth of difference between that and a scorpion.
Guest:No, I get it.
Marc:What about shrimp?
Marc:Nothing?
Guest:That's a cockroach.
Guest:Yeah, I know.
Guest:So you really feel that way.
Guest:Peel and eat.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's a cockroach.
Marc:Yeah, but you don't like the flavor?
Guest:I mean, yeah, I'll eat it because I'm a pig.
Guest:I like butter.
Guest:I like cocktail sauce.
Guest:You dip anything in cocktail sauce, you're pretty good.
Guest:But the food thing, it's getting to the point where...
Guest:Maybe this will be the end of this chapter.
Guest:What are you talking about?
Guest:This book is 330 pages.
Guest:It's like I've covered every topic of food.
Marc:You're saying you're retiring the food premise?
Guest:I'm going Garth Brooks from food.
Guest:Really?
Guest:No, no.
Guest:Of course not.
Guest:What the hell would you talk about?
Guest:Laziness.
Guest:And your kids sleep.
Guest:You don't do much about your kids, do you?
Guest:I try and keep it to a minimum.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Because you thought maybe it'd be hard to find a new angle, or are you just protecting them?
Marc:No, I'm protecting the audience.
Guest:I was that 26-year-old in the audience watching comedians talk about their wife or husband and kids, and I was like, I don't want to hear it.
Guest:Sometimes they need to hear it to learn.
Guest:So I'll do like five minutes in a special about my wife and kids.
Guest:But other than that, it's like.
Marc:Really?
Marc:But that's odd because like it's okay.
Marc:Romanticizing laziness, food, lack of exercise.
Guest:I mean, I do hot pockets in six minutes.
Guest:And you'd think that like when I talk to people, they're like, it's your only joke.
Guest:You know, some people think that.
Marc:That's what landed.
Marc:What are you going to do?
Marc:Hot Pockets was the culture's gateway to you.
Marc:It was a blessing.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And a curse.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Is that in the book?
Marc:The Hot Pocket?
Marc:That's the name of the chapter, Blessing and Curse.
Marc:It is?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:About the Hot Pockets bit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, I was on CNN on Veterans Day talking about veterans rights.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And on the icon below, Doug Stanhope sent me this picture.
Guest:I think it was Doug.
Guest:No, it was somebody else.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And my name was listed as Jim, quote, Hot Pockets, unquote, Gaffigan.
Guest:That's how it was listed when I was talking about veterans' rights.
Guest:So it's like there's a blessing and a curse, right?
Guest:Right.
Marc:But do you still get, do people still call it out at the show?
Guest:Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Guest:Do you do it?
Guest:Yeah, I do it as an encore at the end.
Guest:I don't care.
Guest:They love it.
Guest:Well, I'll see because I'll look at my audience and sometimes there will be a 10-year-old in the audience in the front row and he's just sitting there.
Guest:Waiting for it?
Guest:I can talk about weddings.
Guest:He's like, I don't know what you're talking about.
Guest:But when I get to Hot Pockets at the end, it's all been worth it for him.
Guest:Doing it for the kids.
Guest:No, well, you know, some of it is, it's just, you know, you have a show with a beginning, a middle, and an end.
Guest:And there's a little bit of, like, let's clean it up at the end.
Marc:I think that you're selling yourself short on the idea of exploring your personal life, even if it's with kids, because I think that it makes an impact on young people.
Marc:Because if something is funny, it's funny.
Marc:Like, even when I was a kid, I'd see older guys talk about their wives, and you'd still get a kick out of it.
Marc:And, you know, somehow or another, it's going to define some things.
Marc:Oh, I agree with you.
Guest:I agree with you.
Guest:But there is something about... You've got to manage what you're... You can't just... In my belief, you can't just make it kind of like... And this is what I think is interesting.
Guest:It has to be...
Guest:you know, a show.
Guest:There has to be like, I have some jokes that I love that work in Brooklyn.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Like they, I have, I have like 10 pages of New York city jokes that maybe work on long Island.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But you know, the bell house.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:I love doing them at the bell house, but they're not going out to, they're not going anywhere.
Guest:They can't even, you know, I can do it maybe in the East village.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Not Ohio though.
Marc:No, no,
Guest:No.
Guest:And they're not subway jokes either.
Marc:But this book will speak to everybody because it's about food.
Marc:And there is a chapter in there about your struggle with the blessing and the curse of the Hot Pockets bit.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:And your struggle with food in general.
Guest:Yeah, I would say, yeah.
Guest:I mean, it's not kind of like, I'm going to change my life.
Guest:It's like, I like to eat.
Guest:It's a celebration.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I wrote it with my wife.
Guest:And she was like, you should have a disclaimer at the end saying that you know that these thoughts are wrong.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Did you put that in there?
Guest:No!
Guest:I didn't do that.
Guest:You don't feel it's wrong.
Guest:Because, look, we're all grown-ups here.
Guest:We know we're not supposed to have a Big Mac every day.
Guest:I do, but you're not supposed to.
Guest:Do you know what I mean?
Guest:I do know what you mean.
Guest:I mean, look, I'm the guy who gave you a coupon for a free pint of Jerry's.
Guest:That's right, and I'm the guy who took it and put it in his pocket so he wouldn't lose it.
Marc:Yeah, you bet you won't.
Marc:All right, well, good luck with the book, man.
Marc:I'm glad it's out now.
Guest:Thanks so much.
Marc:Yep.
Thank you.