Episode 701 - Steve-O
Guest:Lock the gates!
Marc:Alright, let's do this.
Marc:How are you, what the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fuckineers?
Marc:What the fucksters?
Marc:What the fuckadelics?
Marc:I am Mark Maron.
Marc:This is WTF, my podcast.
Marc:Welcome to it.
Marc:I hope you're doing okay.
Marc:Heavy week.
Marc:I guess it's all heavy, depending on, you know, where you're sitting and what your life looks like and what you're paying attention to and what's coming down on you.
Marc:But it's a heavy week.
Marc:I'm on my way in a few hours.
Marc:I'm going to go to a memorial for Gary Shanling.
Marc:I'm recording this Sunday.
Marc:But that's going to be a celebration of a man's life.
Marc:We've gotten a little distance here and not much, but it is an honor and a celebration of Gary's life.
Marc:And I don't know what that's going to be like.
Marc:I guess I'll tell you about that on Thursday.
Marc:It's sad, but you know, when somebody's left some great stuff and you can appreciate it and feel the grief and feel the pain and
Marc:And be with people that knew him or appreciated him.
Marc:And you do that.
Marc:That's what we do as people.
Marc:And I'm not sure at a different point in my life that I would have been able to do that.
Marc:I don't know why.
Marc:I was brought up with a certain avoidance of it.
Marc:I guess we're all trying to avoid death, but out of respect, you know, and out of compassion and empathy, your heart has to go out.
Marc:Has to go out.
Marc:Prince died this week.
Marc:Horrible.
Marc:Was not essentially one of my guys, but certainly I appreciated his music and I thought he was a genius and he was, you know...
Marc:fucking ballsy and courageous and did things no one else could with music and just with his place in the world and in culture.
Marc:Took on the big shots.
Marc:And a lot of people out there are really reeling from that.
Marc:And it feels like all these people are dying.
Marc:What a bad year it's been.
Marc:David Bowie.
Marc:I guess that's true, but people die every second.
Marc:It's just that when they have a portion of your life in your heart, in your mind, it resonates.
Marc:See here, I'm trying to frame it a certain way, and there's really no way to frame it.
Marc:It's sad, and it happens, and no matter what we do to...
Marc:to prolong it or avoid it uh it's there it's it's it's it's right it's hovering it's the knowledge of it is hovering and something that we talk a lot about on this show and one way or the other close friend of mine lost a loved one and uh it was devastating and i don't know uh i don't know what to do other than you know put my heart out there to them and and uh you know make myself available in any way i can and offer my my my deep sorrow i'm just happy that i feel that
Marc:I'm happy that my cynicism has not caused me to be detached and unable to feel the sort of dark depth of loss in my friends or in the culture.
Marc:It happens.
Marc:I'm not sure it always happened because I was so caught up in my own shit, so spiraling in my own little dumb world of neurotic pain and panic that I was not capable of empathy.
Marc:And I think it's very important.
Marc:I'm not preaching here, but I'm just learning this about myself because I'm somebody that came into empathy sort of later in life.
Marc:I didn't really have the equipment for it because of the way I was brought up.
Marc:And I was always sensitive, but a lot of times that's just about you.
Marc:But to really be empathetic and try to understand the pain of loss in others, it's an important thing.
Marc:And this is where, you know, this is like basic shit that I have to figure out all the time.
Marc:You know, love has to win.
Marc:And a lot of us have become cynical and detached and self-centered about things and, you know, dismissive and snarky and on to the next thing.
Marc:But it's okay to feel pain.
Marc:It's okay to feel fear.
Marc:And if you can connect with the love that will enable you to appreciate the world, it's not a dark place.
Marc:You know, it's important.
Marc:It's important to yourself.
Marc:It's important to people around you.
Marc:I'm not always great at it.
Marc:You know, I go right to, you know, flashes of sadness that manifest themselves into anger.
Marc:And then I want to eat something.
Marc:Then I want to have some coffee.
Marc:I want to have a nicotine lozenge.
Marc:I want to get on Twitter.
Marc:I want to check my email.
Marc:I want to, you know, text somebody.
Marc:I want to, I just want to get away.
Marc:I just want to, I don't want to feel it.
Marc:The options to avoid feelings in the culture we live in now is like profound.
Marc:It's all, that's, that's what it's demanding of you.
Marc:Get lost.
Marc:Get a hit.
Marc:Get a hit somewhere.
Marc:Dodge it.
Marc:Dodge the pain.
Marc:Gotta sit in it.
Marc:You gotta sit in it for yourself and for other people.
Marc:I'm talking to myself right now.
Marc:You know, sometimes music helps move me through things.
Marc:I've been compulsively listening.
Marc:You know, I get records, and this cat, Nathan Amundsen, who has a band called Rivulets,
Marc:And I remember playing one record that he sent me and I was like, this is it.
Marc:I like that sort of three chord kind of slow groove, ethereal, a little bit of echo, a little bit of vibrato.
Marc:It just that movement.
Marc:And I came across this one single that I guess he had sent me.
Marc:called Right On Melina.
Marc:It's on the A side.
Marc:And I told Jesus Christ how much I love her.
Marc:That's on the B side.
Marc:It's a 10 inch.
Marc:And I just threw it on.
Marc:And I get a lot of records.
Marc:And I think I've listened to that thing like 50 fucking times in the last month.
Marc:And I don't even know why.
Marc:It's one of those songs that somehow takes you to a different place.
Marc:There's a transcendence to it that's somewhat melancholy, but broad.
Marc:It's almost like you're floating around
Marc:in the sadness, but it feels invigorating.
Marc:And that's been very helpful to me this week.
Marc:And, you know, I'm going to personally thank Nathan Amundsen.
Marc:And, you know, I love when I can find a song like that that just kind of soothes all the darkness without obliterating it, without detracting from the feelings, kind of lets you have them and lets you stay in them without feeling like you're going to disappear.
Marc:And there's a lot of grief out there.
Marc:You know, if you choose fear over love or fear over acceptance, you know, that's going to lead to bad places a lot of times.
Marc:I'm sorry it's so heavy.
Marc:I'm sorry it's so heavy.
Marc:I'm going to have to go listen to Ride On Molina a few more times today.
Marc:Fucking thank God for that song right now.
Marc:Our guest today is Steve-O.
Marc:Oddly plays into what I'm talking about too.
Marc:To reckoning with the fact of tragedy and darkness and death every day.
Marc:That's the gift of consciousness.
Marc:You know, if you can get some peace of mind and some connectivity to your heart and then to your heart to the world, you know, great.
Marc:But Steve-O is a guy who, you know, as a clown in ways, courageously confronts death for the most ridiculous reasons.
Marc:And it seems ridiculous and it is ridiculous and it seems stupid sometimes.
Marc:But I'll tell you, there was no, the first time you see that first jackass movie, there's nothing like it in life.
Marc:There is some sort of weird point to the camaraderie and to the risks they take for our laughter and for our surprise.
Marc:And this is a way, this is like what I'm talking about.
Marc:Like I watched his Showtime special.
Marc:It's called Guilty as Charged.
Marc:It's on demand.
Marc:It's on Vimeo.
Marc:You go to steveo.com and you can check out his tour dates.
Marc:But as you'll find out when I talk to him, there's only certain things he can do over and over again without really possibly hurting himself, and he has hurt himself.
Marc:But why?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I tried to figure it out.
Marc:But when you watch it, there's something bold.
Marc:There's something crazy.
Marc:But there's something that transcends death in those moments where these guys are doing stupid, stupid shit that could really hurt them and sometimes do hurt them.
Marc:And they come out laughing.
Marc:It's a very immediate way in a very hilarious and stupid actions that we're allowed to laugh at and at that moment really sort of laugh in the face of death.
Marc:And that's a service.
Marc:Life is disappointing.
Marc:Life is hard.
Marc:But there's some wiggle room.
Marc:It's up to you and your perception.
Marc:Like just the other day, I found out that I actually experienced this weird pain that I haven't had in a while.
Marc:That I thought I was over.
Marc:That I thought I'd moved past as a grown man.
Marc:You know, I have my special, More Later, which is my new special, which I'm very proud of.
Marc:And... I can't believe I'm telling you about this, but... Well, it's not that... Whatever.
Marc:But, you know, I'm very proud of that special, and you can see it on Epix, and you can see it on...
Marc:amazon prime or whatever that is and hulu my ifc show marin uh premieres may 4th very excited about that i'm going to be on the tonight show if everything goes properly on may 3rd um but
Marc:But I had this thing happen.
Marc:You know, I wanted to put out a vinyl because, you know, I'm a vinyl guy.
Marc:And I want to feel like on some level that I'm not your average vinyl guy, though every time I go to a record store to find some new vinyl or trade in some vinyl, I see a bunch of other dudes my age and different stages of social awkwardness and weight problems, you know, kind of.
Marc:Foraging through the bins.
Marc:But I enjoy vinyl and I like listening to new music.
Marc:And I've had... I love Ty Siegel's music.
Marc:And I've had Stephen Malkmus in here.
Marc:And I've had Michael Cronin.
Marc:I have Joanna Newsom coming up.
Marc:And...
Marc:You know, and I listen, you know, I've been turned on to a lot of music by these people.
Marc:And like, I know I'm an old guy.
Marc:I get it.
Marc:I know that.
Marc:But I'm definitely in it.
Marc:Music plays a big part in my life to stave off death thoughts, basically like everything else.
Marc:So I have more later.
Marc:I thought maybe I put it on vinyl.
Marc:I don't have to, and I could do it probably a lot of places.
Marc:I've been offered the opportunity to do a vinyl record.
Marc:I did one for Thinky Payne.
Marc:Comedy Central did it.
Marc:But I thought that because I know Dan over at Drag City, the guy who is one of the owners, I guess, and I have a relationship with them.
Marc:I get their records, and I enjoy them, and I get excited about them.
Marc:So I thought, man, that'd be cool, man.
Marc:Maybe I'd just ask Drag City if we can put out a vinyl.
Marc:I mean, just a small pressing, maybe 1,000, be cool.
Marc:I'd add some, maybe do a bunch of stuff that wasn't on the special that's out there and be on the Drag City level with the cool kids, you know?
Marc:And so I pitched it.
Marc:I'm like, you know, look that, you know, I own the rights.
Marc:It would cost just whatever it would cost to press them and put the art together.
Marc:And it'd be nice thing to have and nice thing for fans to have small release.
Marc:And I didn't hear from him for a while.
Marc:I wrote right to Dan and hear from him, and I'm like, all right, well, maybe I'll just move on and find another label or just self-release it.
Marc:Well, you know, he got back to me.
Marc:He said, look, you know, maybe we can put it on, you know, our secondary label.
Marc:And I'm like, I don't know.
Marc:I kind of want to make a Drag City record.
Marc:Dan, I want to make a Drag City record.
Marc:Then I don't hear nothing.
Marc:And then I do one of those things like, all right, I get it.
Marc:I get it.
Marc:And I just write back and I go, forget it.
Marc:Forget it.
Marc:You know, I can do it myself.
Marc:It's not necessary.
Marc:It's just a fun idea I had.
Marc:And I thought because we were all pals and, you know, I want to hang out with the cool kids.
Marc:Maybe you do it.
Marc:I know you do another comedy record.
Marc:It gets back to me.
Marc:Hey, man, you know, I'm into it, but has to be a consensus here.
Marc:And one dude not into it.
Marc:So he just throws some nameless dude under the bus who now I have to think like that dude didn't think I was cool enough.
Marc:I'm not cool enough.
Marc:No, no, not on Drag City.
Marc:Not cool enough.
Marc:The guy who actually reinvented his life in his fucking garage and still works in it.
Marc:who likes the garage sound.
Marc:I got Bonnie Prince Billy.
Marc:I like him on Matt Sweeney.
Marc:I had on the show.
Marc:I'm just telling you that some things in life come back around and I actually have a little fucking hurt feelings because I wasn't cool enough to be on a label that I love.
Marc:And that's just the nature of being an old guy, I guess.
Marc:So I'll figure out another way to put that out and get that out to you.
Marc:Transcendence.
Marc:How do we do it?
Marc:I had a nice conversation with Steve-O, and I'm going to share that with you now.
Marc:This is me and Steve-O.
Marc:Again, his special Guilty as Charged is on Showtime On Demand and now on Vimeo.
Marc:You can go to Steve-O.com and check out his tour dates.
Marc:And this was good.
Marc:This was good.
Marc:Enjoy.
Marc:I watched a special last night.
Guest:Oh, dude, thank you so much, man.
Marc:What?
Marc:I was supposed to, right?
Guest:Oh, hey, man.
Guest:I didn't have any expectations.
Marc:Yeah, well, I find that when I have the time, I should probably do a little of the homework given to me.
Marc:But, you know, obviously I know who you are, and I knew, like, here's my first thought was, because I remember when you started showing up at comedy clubs, and I'm a comic.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:So there was a number of us who were like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
Marc:What the fuck is Steve-O just like doing comedy now?
Marc:But when I watched it, it's not stand-up per se.
Marc:It's like a one-man show.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:Right?
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:I mean, isn't that basically what it is?
Guest:I would say so.
Guest:I mean, it's definitely storytelling.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I incorporate stunts into it.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I just try to make sure that my stories are funny.
Marc:How are they not going to be funny?
Marc:Either your dick is going to be in there.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You're going to be falling out of something or fucking the wrong person.
Marc:I mean, you can't lose.
Guest:No, but it's been going great, and I've not modeled what I do after anybody.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So I feel like it's original.
Guest:It's authentic.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Well, yeah.
Marc:Well, when I watch it, though, because there's always this weird thing with old comics where they're sort of like, you know, they thought you just got... Basically, it was sort of like, well, he's just selling tickets because he's Steve-O.
Marc:It doesn't have to do with comedy necessarily or stand-up.
Marc:But when I watched it, it was like you chose to use stand-up clubs...
Marc:to kind of like workshop this funny show that has a narrative, it's got an arc, there's a beginning, middle and end, you know, you move through some shit, but it's like a theater thing almost.
Marc:But yeah, I imagine that if you sought out at the beginning of it to do small theaters around the country, people would be like, no, we don't want you to burn our fucking theater down.
Guest:oh man the number i used to do uh like fire stunts all the time and i was going to do it on my special too but the fire marshal got in and shut it down but dude like tiny little like comedy clubs with like curtains and everything and i'm like blowing fire everywhere like and then no one got in trouble i got away with it a lot yeah but not always not always i mean i mean i didn't never set a fire but but i was pretty rarely shut shut down and how's your health buddy
Guest:You know, outside of fake teeth, terrible tattoos, and an esophagus condition that's pretty manageable, I'm in pretty tip-top shape, man.
Guest:It's all mental issues.
Guest:What happened to your teeth?
Guest:I've made a habit of breaking teeth.
Guest:At first, I broke seven of them in one go one time.
Marc:Which thing was that?
Guest:I jumped off a balcony at a keg party.
Marc:Oh, this is pre-Jack, this is a younger Steve-O?
Guest:A younger Steve-O, yeah, telling this girl on a balcony how I was going to become a rad, famous stuntman trying to demonstrate, I said, imagine a fight scene and I pretended to get punched and just threw myself off the balcony and I spun over the railing and I landed on my face on the ground and...
Guest:I broke like seven teeth.
Guest:Like I said, I had 10 stitches in my chin, a concussion, a fractured cheekbone.
Marc:How did it work out with that girl?
Guest:It didn't.
Guest:It didn't.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I broke my wrist too, man.
Guest:Holy shit.
Guest:How old were you?
Guest:I was at that point 20 years old.
Guest:Yeah, I was 20.
Guest:and they that must have just been like there's something so horribly hilarious about that like you're trying to impress somebody and then they had to call an ambulance i mean like not to like you know if she's out there or whatever she wasn't like this the hottest chick right that was like the thing you know uh and i was i was like that seems to be a theme with you right
Guest:Yeah, and there I was, like, face down on the concrete.
Guest:I mean, I don't even remember landing, but I know because I needed 10 stitches in my chin, I had, like, a pool of blood growing around my face.
Guest:I'm face down in this pool of blood, not even moving at all.
Guest:And my buddies thought, like, if he's not dead, he's going to need that weed in his pocket.
Guest:So, like, you know, they came down and, like, rifled through my pants to get my weed out.
Guest:So when the cops came or the ambulance came...
Marc:You got friends that have interesting priorities.
Guest:Right.
Guest:If he's not dead, he's going to need that weed.
Guest:We got his back on that.
Guest:I hope he remembers his name.
Guest:If he is dead, we're going to need that weed.
Marc:It's such a specific world of fucking insanity that you've always lived in.
Marc:Where the fuck did you come from?
Marc:Where'd you grow up, though?
Marc:Because I know you mentioned in the show that your dad's a successful businessman, but I don't get any sense of that.
Guest:I was born in England.
Guest:in london england yeah well specifically wimbledon um six months old moved to brazil spoke really first words in portuguese really oh yeah dad was the president of pepsi cola brazil like that that was his gig so he was like like like all of like pepsi cola in brazil he was a ceo type of guy yeah he ran the the brazilian division of uh of pepsi that's a that's a big job he was an international pepsi cola executive
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:Specifically, the president of Pepsi Cola Brazil.
Guest:My parents had shit popping off.
Guest:They were successful.
Guest:I was raised by live-in maids.
Guest:That's why I spoke my first words in Portuguese.
Guest:My parents didn't inspire me to choose my first words.
Marc:Right, so you were raised by this woman who was hired by your family.
Guest:Right, yes.
Guest:I have no recollection, or I don't even know anything about it.
Guest:Do you speak any other languages?
Guest:I don't, man.
Guest:When I was in summer camp when I was a kid, I spoke apparently Portuguese in my sleep.
Marc:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah, and then I was two years old, moved to Venezuela, did nursery school there.
Guest:Dad was promoted to more Central America.
Marc:So now he's overseeing Pepsi in Central America.
Guest:Right, uh-huh.
Guest:And then moved to Connecticut when I was four.
Guest:I don't know why.
Guest:What part of Connecticut?
Guest:Darien, Connecticut.
Marc:Oh, that's nice, right?
Marc:Uh-huh, yeah.
Marc:So now that's where CEOs go to retire and hang out.
Guest:No, dad was just getting started at that point.
Guest:He was still working for Pepsi.
Guest:I went to kindergarten in Connecticut.
Guest:I learned to speak three languages by the age of four.
Guest:I went on to completely forget two of them by the age of five.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And moved to Miami when I was six.
Marc:With your dad?
Guest:Yeah, with my family.
Guest:Yeah, at that point, dad began working for R.J.
Guest:Reynolds Tobacco.
Marc:Oh, man.
Guest:And he was a tobacco CEO.
Marc:Bringing home the cartons?
Right.
Guest:We lived in Miami, but dad oversaw R.J.
Guest:Reynolds in South America somehow.
Marc:Got real American sort of like, you know, not so healthy businesses.
Guest:Yeah, soft drinks.
Marc:Yeah, but here's the guy.
Guest:Then I moved to London, England when I was nine.
Guest:Back?
Guest:Yeah, but it was my first experience there.
Marc:Yeah, what was he doing there?
Guest:At that point, I want to say he was working for Del Monte.
Guest:Canned tomatoes and shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So you grew up all over the place, but pretty privileged.
Marc:Oh, super privileged.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was super privileged.
Guest:Corporate brat.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then 12 years old, I moved to Canada.
Guest:Dad was, I want to say, the president of Nabisco in Canada.
Marc:You want to say?
Marc:You kind of think?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He worked for Nabisco.
Guest:He worked for Nabisco, but I think he was the president of Nabisco Canada.
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:He's like a high-level corporate executive, food and beverage guy, and occasionally tobacco.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Did you get along with him?
Guest:Did you see him?
Guest:Dad and I are super tight.
Marc:Now?
Guest:Are you still around?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He is.
Guest:He is.
Guest:My mom's not, but my dad is.
Marc:And they stayed married through all this shit?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Through a lot of shit.
Guest:For 25 years, they were married.
Guest:And she had it, right?
Guest:Well, mom was an alcoholic.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah, her alcoholism was pretty heavy, and dad didn't necessarily understand it.
Marc:No Al-Anon for dad?
Guest:You know, when I got sober, I told dad, you know, like there we were, you know, checking me into rehab.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And dad's talking about like, you know, once we get this behind you, once we have this fixed.
Guest:And I just snapped and I told him, dad, this doesn't get fixed.
Guest:You know, it's behind me.
Guest:Like I'm an alcoholic.
Guest:I'm a drug addict.
Guest:It's always going to be that way.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I said, the fact that you didn't, that you still don't understand that after being married mom for 25 years is frankly pathetic.
Guest:And I said, if I'm serious about this and if I'm going to be serious, then you need to be serious too or you can fuck it all up.
Guest:Really?
Guest:And I told him, you got to go to Al-Anon, which was, I guess, pretty insightful for a guy just checking in.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:You knew.
Guest:But I just had so much of the history of my family, so I understood it.
Marc:Did he go?
Guest:He did.
Guest:And after...
Guest:i don't know after maybe like a few months he said like you know i i've been going to these meetings and i want to like you know be supportive and stuff but i just don't quite understand it because i feel like the people in the meetings are are there for their own problems right now and he's like i don't have any problems i just want to he's like i just want to be supportive and sort of help you in your recovery and i said that's great dad what next time just hand me a beer and a joint yeah
Marc:Well, that's the fucked up thing about it is they're stubborn in their ways and they don't necessarily understand.
Marc:In their mind, it's a willpower thing.
Marc:And then you just have to... Part of it is willpower, despite whatever... Of course.
Marc:But it's also the willingness and doing some of the spiritual work and working the steps so you can learn how to think like a human.
Marc:But a lot of times, they can't process that.
Marc:They can't see it as a disease.
Marc:They just don't understand, like, why don't you just stop?
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I'm glad you say that, too, because there really is a lot of willpower involved.
Guest:You know, it's willpower that gets you off your ass and go to a meeting.
Marc:No, you're right.
Marc:It's not talked about a lot.
Marc:It's talked about like it's a miracle or something.
Marc:But in order to have the willingness or to get fucked up enough to want to stop.
Marc:I mean, yeah, you've got to go to meetings and stuff.
Marc:But like, you know, when you're sitting home alone, it's still you going like, I ain't going to do it.
Marc:right you know what i mean like for whatever reason i'm not gonna do it it may be god's helping maybe that guy called is helping maybe that meeting is helping but i have you know i'm sitting next to alcohol right now and i'm not drinking it and that's not a miracle it's a choice right i mean people always say stay strong and i think to myself well stay powerless is what they mean sure right just remember you know
Marc:Well, yeah, but that's that's the beauty of that fucking that that first step thing.
Marc:You know, we talk about this on the show, but is that like to really understand that you can't do it because there's no way to do it without getting fucked up.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:And to have that in your mind and in your heart.
Marc:I mean, that's the trick.
Marc:And that makes the choice a little easier.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I mean, I was saying just earlier today that step one, it's like a paradox.
Guest:There's so many paradoxes in the program.
Guest:But in admitting that we were powerless over alcohol, we admit hopelessness.
Guest:And in hopelessness is where we find hope.
Guest:Right.
Guest:It's a paradox.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Well, yeah.
Marc:And then there's all that, you know, that window into like, you know, really fucking dealing with who you are and like, you know, dealing with your problems and like, you know what I mean?
Marc:Like the pain of sobriety of like that insanity.
Marc:But when did you start?
Marc:Like, um, like you don't have any brothers or sisters?
Guest:I have an older sister.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, how'd she turn out?
Guest:She's got her own issues, but substances aren't really the thing.
Guest:She is a high school teacher in South Florida.
Marc:In South Florida?
Guest:Even though she just stopped being a teacher and went into some weird copywriting for a financial institution kind of thing.
Guest:Sort of a weird situation.
Guest:But yeah, she's as normal as could be.
Guest:She was a high school teacher.
Guest:The kids would find out, oh, no way.
Guest:I've got Steve-O's sister as my teacher.
Guest:This is going to be awesome.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then, like, after, like, day one, like, oh, fuck.
Guest:This sucks.
Guest:She just disappointed, like, waves of students every year.
Guest:What'd they expect for her to come in on fire?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Like, they expect her to be, like, kind of cool or, you know.
Marc:Yeah, a little bit nihilistic and nuts.
Guest:right i mean we have enough in common but then again i'm not really nihilistic and that's like too much i mean i think that like the reality of me is is sort of uh would be sort of disappointing too to a lot of people well i don't know i think that well whatever the reality is you know there's documented evidence sure of you being nihilistic and that's and there's enough of it to where like even if you said that's not really me be like but dude you're like look your balls are on fire that's true too my balls have been on fire
Guest:And they've been extinguished with kicks.
Marc:So when does that, how much older is she?
Guest:Three and a half years.
Marc:How old are you?
Guest:41.
Guest:I'll be 42 in June.
Marc:So you came up like, because you were a skate kid, right?
Guest:Not a super talented one, but yeah.
Marc:But you could do it.
Marc:You did pools and shit.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:That's what brought me to the video camera.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Because when I first saw Jackass, it's one of these astounding events in my life because I didn't know what to make of it.
Marc:And I talked about it to Knoxville because your first assumption as a dude like me is like, who the fuck are these alpha dicks being all bro-y?
Marc:And then, well, that's like a judgment you make before you go.
Marc:And then you go and you're like, this isn't that.
Marc:This is like fucking punk rock insanity.
Marc:This is like fucking crazy shit.
Marc:And I was so impressed with it and so hilarious that like I only watch it like I watch it the first time.
Marc:And the experience of watching that thing for the first time is so overwhelmingly hilarious that like I can't like I want to watch it again, but I want to save it for another decade or so.
Marc:So it's funny.
Marc:And I've watched a couple of the other ones, but you've made like, what, 20?
Guest:No.
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:We had three theatrical movies.
Marc:I saw the second one.
Marc:I didn't see the third one.
Guest:The second one was The Masterpiece.
Guest:I really think... If you ask me, the third one was kind of tired.
Marc:That was the 3D one?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Marc:Yeah, I checked out at 3D.
Guest:If it wasn't for the technology, you know, like we didn't have... Well, why do you think the second one was a masterpiece?
Marc:Because you guys knew each other well enough to really kind of what?
Marc:Trust each other or take chances that were... What was it?
Guest:I think that it was just the reckless abandon was at its peak.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:I think the reckless abandon and I think that...
Guest:that we weren't out of ideas.
Guest:There was enough... And I think that we were... There was a mixture of us having been at it long enough to have gotten kind of good, but not too good, and still had ideas, and the reckless abandonment.
Marc:Well, remind me, what were some of the things that happened in there?
Guest:That was Knoxville did the rocket riding.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, yeah, yeah, into the water.
Guest:And he put the cigarette in his mouth and the blindfold, and then the yak just goes and takes him out.
Guest:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:I had the fish hook through my face and got cast out to the sharks.
Guest:Like, everything in that movie.
Guest:And that was the other thing.
Guest:It was just like a blessed production, man.
Guest:Every time we did something, it just worked.
Guest:Everything worked.
Marc:Well, where did, so where do you remember it starting this?
Marc:Was it driven by music?
Marc:Was it driven by a need for attention?
Guest:Oh, total attention.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Attention seeking all the way.
Guest:At first.
Guest:That's what drives everything I've done.
Guest:It goes back to that neglect is when I was a baby in Brazil.
Marc:Well, when you're, so your dad was sort of like working and checked out and your mom was like.
Guest:Mom was pretty drunk.
Guest:Dad was absent.
Marc:But that was tangible to you during your childhood that she was wasted?
Guest:Uh, you know, not until I was, I want to say like seven or eight.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And, uh, and then it was, it was, there was, yeah, it was pretty acute.
Marc:Oh, and that's, that's sad, man.
Guest:I mean, Hey, you know, like, um, uh, it's nothing to bitch about, you know, I think that, uh, most things that are notable serve as advantages as well as disadvantages.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Almost whatever the case may be.
Marc:Did you find yourself, like, you know, when you were younger, did you find yourself feeling responsible for it or, like, trying to help her and that kind of shit?
Guest:No, not at all.
Guest:If anything, the fact that when mom was drinking, going to school became optional was a real treat.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I didn't know her.
Guest:If she was sober, there were boundaries and rules.
Guest:And when she wasn't, there weren't.
Guest:I wanted a hamster.
Guest:I couldn't get the hamster until mom was drunk.
Guest:You waited it out?
Guest:You timed it right?
Guest:You knew when to ask her?
Guest:yeah the word no didn't exist when mom was drinking and you know so in a sense it was really sad um but you know whatever yeah yeah and and and dad became more successful as i went through my childhood and he was around less you know right he was always on a business trip and there were a lot of private planes in your youth
Guest:not private planes but uh but there were there definitely a lot of planes yeah for sure and my sister just sort of had enough but you know when i was 12 she went to boarding school oh yeah so the dynamic was sort of like mom got drunker the houses got bigger the family got smaller yeah dad wasn't there yeah dad wasn't there so so like was uh so when you're in these like mansions is that where you started doing crazy
Guest:I mean, really crazy shit didn't start until after I graduated high school.
Guest:I went to high school in the American school in London, England.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, I guess I should say the really crazy shit started once I had let go and let booze.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, that was the thing.
Marc:But who were you in high school?
Marc:Was it because you were constantly moving around that you had to make an impact wherever you sort of ended up?
Guest:You know it's so sad because like I was always such a Desperate attention whore and I so was so desperate for the affection and approval of my peers.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, and You know like this one report card from sixth grade said Steve so wants the affection and approval of his peers But everything he does to to try to get that brings about the opposite result
Guest:That was the story of my childhood.
Guest:That's on your resume.
Guest:I would just try, whatever it was, I was just like, me, me, look at me.
Guest:And it would just turn everybody off.
Marc:Because you didn't know when to stop.
Guest:I just didn't know.
Marc:Were you the kid that sort of like, eat this?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, that was next level.
Guest:I was like, everyone check it out.
Guest:And I would unscrew the cap off of the salt shaker and then just consume the whole thing.
Marc:Oh my God, right at the beginning.
Guest:Just upsetting shit, where nobody thought it was cool.
Marc:Right, you went one step beyond to where people were concerned and frightened.
Guest:Yeah, just not cool.
Guest:And so I had a really awkward childhood, and each time when I found out that we were going to move, I was excited.
Guest:I thought, oh, this is great, because now I get a new shot at it.
Guest:Now I get to start over, and this time, I'm going to be cool.
Guest:I got a whole new shot.
Guest:This time I'm going to be the cool kid.
Guest:But then everywhere I went, there I was.
Marc:Doing fucking crazy shit.
Marc:Do you remember any moments outside of chugging an entire container of salt?
Marc:Were you just terrified your classmates?
Guest:Dude, there was one and I remember it so well.
Guest:I was 10 years old in fifth grade in London.
Guest:I went into my Spanish class.
Guest:One of my very last baby teeth to go.
Guest:It was just...
Guest:Dangling?
Guest:Not dangling.
Guest:Like only beginning to show signs of loosening up.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So it wasn't ready to come out.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I knew that if I violently rip it out before it's ready, it bleeds heavily.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So I walk into class knowing this, and I sit down next to the prettiest girl in the class, who I wouldn't normally sit next to.
Guest:And I told her as I sat down, I don't have to be in class today.
Guest:I can leave whenever I want.
Guest:Right.
Guest:She looked at me like I was crazy.
Guest:And then the class started and I just ripped out this tooth and it started bleeding really heavily.
Guest:And I raised my hand to the teacher and said, you know, hey, I need to go to the nurse.
Guest:And the teacher saw the blood and said, go, go.
Guest:And I stood up, turned to the girl and said, told you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:To the look of terror on her face.
Guest:Blood.
Guest:You know how it goes.
Guest:And I told you and I just skipped out and went like whatever.
Guest:Skipping through the halls.
Guest:You were that freak.
Guest:You were like a freak.
Guest:I was a fucked up troubling freak.
Guest:yeah there's no way anyone was gonna like you right right but then somehow so how did you ultimately like i guess the times culturally sort of like came to your assistance because yeah it seems to me that when you were growing up i imagine in high school you were able to find at least a few dudes who were equally as crazy
Guest:Not as much.
Guest:It was sort of like little league baseball didn't really work for me.
Guest:What did you play?
Guest:I don't know, like shortstop, I guess, pitcher, pitcher.
Guest:Teams were no good.
Marc:What did you do on the baseball team?
Marc:Did you fucking allow someone to hit you with the ball?
Guest:No, there wasn't anything like that.
Guest:At that point, it was just sort of when do I get home so I can go through rocks and flyers.
Guest:Right.
Marc:You're lucky you didn't end up a killer.
Guest:Right, right, right.
Marc:You just killed yourself.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I mean, there was definitely, I mean, I don't know.
Guest:I have this one really dark memory that, like, I remember, like, I think I was maybe, like, seven or eight.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Probably eight years old and walking home, like, walking home and living in Miami.
Guest:and um they were like all these older kids i'm guessing maybe they were like 12 and they were standing around with uh with a knife it was just a knife like this too and like a buck knife or whatever and um a folding knife and uh and and they had this like this big huge south florida bullfrog like you know captured and they're all like sort of standing there you know like uh like you know and i'm just reading
Guest:as I walked by and I'd walked by, I never said a word.
Guest:I just walked up and I grabbed the knife and I just plunged it through this frog until the handle was in the ground through the frog.
Guest:And I just turned and walked away and not a word was ever said.
Guest:You feel bad?
Guest:Do I feel, I mean, I don't know.
Guest:I'm not proud of that.
Guest:I don't think it's cool.
Guest:And nobody thought it was cool at the time.
Marc:But I mean, as far as like... The fucked up thing about it is no one even pressured you to do it.
Guest:Oh, no.
Marc:There's no peer pressure.
Marc:Like, do it.
Guest:Do you just like... The sense I got was that they were like... That was what they were like sort of setting out to do, but nobody was willing to do it.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So here's this little tiny kid.
Guest:Give it to me.
Guest:But not a word was ever said.
Guest:And it's such a fucked up memory I have.
Marc:Yeah, there's these moments, but they were always driven by peer pressure.
Marc:You seem to just pressure yourself.
Guest:Right.
Guest:That's a totally accurate observation.
Guest:Right.
Marc:You know, like you were going to trumpet.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Well, you're lucky you didn't really hurt somebody.
Marc:Right.
Marc:But you were never a guy that beat anybody up or anything.
Guest:No, I never fought, man.
Marc:Yeah, me neither.
Marc:But, like, the weird thing is, like, obviously, you know, you're an extreme.
Marc:But at what point...
Marc:Were you able to sort of accommodate the discomfort of all this fucking insanity?
Guest:Like, the pain or the fucking... Yeah, like, as I recall, like, the Little League baseball, which was never really that much of a thing, gave way... Like, everything was always my identity, you know?
Guest:Like, I remember...
Guest:When I wore my Little League baseball uniform, which was only for games, when you had an official game, but I would wear that uniform on the days I did not have a game.
Guest:I was like, oh, going to the movies with a friend, and I'm showing up in my fucking baseball uniform because somehow that makes me feel like I amount to more.
Guest:Right, right, right, yeah.
Guest:In that suit, like I'm a baseball player.
Guest:At the movies.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Dude, there's...
Guest:Like, there was, when I was nine.
Marc:Oh, you're just a fucking weird kid.
Guest:Dude, I was nine years old on this Little League Pop Warner football team.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And, you know, I'm triple national.
Guest:I have a Canadian citizenship because my mom was born in Canada.
Guest:I was born in England, so I'm British.
Guest:And my dad was born in America.
Guest:So I've got all three citizenships.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Three passports.
Marc:And that lasts a lifetime.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You can only be a resident in one, but you can be a citizen of all three.
Marc:Right.
Guest:So it was when I was nine that I had to go to the Canadian passport office or the photo to get my Canadian citizenship card.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I felt the need to take the photo...
Guest:in my full pads for my full pads game day football suit to this day i have the fucking card like i didn't have a game that day if i did i didn't need to be wearing shoulder pads with my fucking game jersey like in my fucking you know
Marc:So you were able to track this now as a grown-up who's done some work on himself.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:You were just trying to have an identity to fit in somewhere.
Guest:Sure, right.
Guest:And that uniform made me sort of worth more somehow.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because my self-worth wasn't there.
Guest:So the Little League sports gave way to the heavy metal music and my uniform changed into the mullet, the jean jacket.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I would just alienate.
Marc:That's a little more acceptable in a way.
Marc:At least you have a community.
Marc:You're not just some kid at the movies and pads.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But I didn't even have a community.
Guest:I mean, I just had the rest of the school just like, oh, you creepy devil worshiper.
Guest:Oh, really?
Marc:So you were the only one?
Guest:Well, I mean, I got into it pretty young.
Guest:I got into the heavy metal like 10 years old.
Guest:Who were your bands?
Guest:Fifth grade, sixth grade.
Guest:Fuck, my first metal album was the Number of the Beast, Maiden.
Guest:That taught me that I was a metalhead.
Guest:And then my first Motley Crue album when I was 11 taught me why I was a metalhead.
Guest:And then I was 12 and my first Slayer album taught me how bad the situation really was.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But those were bands like, that's what I was, Metallica, all that.
Guest:And then the heavy metal gave way to skateboarding.
Guest:And then skateboarding, I found some comfort.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Then I had the community that you're talking about.
Marc:That seems to make sense.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then the skateboarding, because I went to high school in England at the American school.
Guest:And then once I was the last skater skating, I wasn't comfortable enough in myself to be a skater on my own.
Guest:So then I turned to alcohol and drugs.
Guest:I remember too, I was like, man, I'm not going to be a skater anymore.
Guest:So what's my identity going to be now?
Guest:I could probably be pretty good at smoking pot.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, it didn't start until after that shit?
Guest:It wasn't like anybody offered it to me or pressured me to do it.
Guest:I went looking for it.
Marc:Sure, but could you tangibly feel yourself getting off on the pain and adrenaline of shit?
Marc:I mean, do you feel that?
Guest:Not really, man.
Guest:Really?
Guest:I wouldn't even classify myself as an adrenaline junkie, really.
Marc:Not even later?
Guest:I mean, not really.
Guest:I don't fucking hate roller coasters.
Guest:I'm scared of roller coasters.
LAUGHTER
Guest:because you're not in control right right when you're jumping off a building it's like you're making a decision but there's some idiot running the thing uh-huh and it seems like you had a certain amount of trust with your pirate friends who would strap you to shit right but but not the just some not some anonymous guy running a roller coaster if it's knoxville you're okay but right yeah
Guest:Right.
Guest:It's not adrenaline.
Guest:It's more like, you know, man, once I get this on video, then like the video is going to impress people or whatever.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:So it's still about that?
Guest:It's still about the validation and the attention, man.
Marc:So when you strap into whatever you're about to do or whatever decision you're making, all you're thinking is like you got to get through it.
Guest:Got to just get through it.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:I couldn't have chosen the words better myself.
Guest:I just got to get through it.
Guest:Got to get through it, and then it's going to be fucking awesome.
Marc:Well, that's so weird, because if you read it that way, because when I watch... I've seen you do stuff here and there before, and I've watched a jackass movie, and I've seen the second one.
Marc:I know you.
Marc:And then when I'm watching the special, there was always something like...
Marc:that i was a little uncomfortable with and it wasn't anything you were doing it was it was who you were and and i think that what it is because i think i have it too but i don't i don't admit it is a need for approval like you know when i'm watching you do stuff there's a there's a humility to it because you know you're not like look what i can do you're sort of like right look at it i did it come on where's my love
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Marc:It made me uncomfortable because it's like, I can't.
Marc:How am I going to help that guy?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:It's sort of bizarre.
Marc:Even Knoxville, that's what makes it so kind of, because I just wrote this down, that there's no reason you guys should be so fucking likable.
Marc:But you are, because after a certain point, even in the one man show that you have out now, it was sort of like, you kind of like, it's not that you feel bad for you, but almost.
Guest:Sure.
Marc:Because you're looking at people going like, what's he doing?
Marc:Why is he talking?
Marc:Why is he talking about it?
Marc:They're just amazed that you have the, I guess it's courage to sort of like, you know, splay yourself open.
Marc:Because I think in the one-man show, the stories you tell are sort of vulnerable and kind of tragic and sad in some ways.
Marc:I mean, to say you're a premature ejaculator and a sex addict, that's horrifying.
Marc:it's like you can't even win there you know but but then you know when you do the stunts that you do it is so it like it's not even that you think you're gonna die you're just sort of like you're so fucking wide open you're just on a fucking stage you know twitching unconscious in front of people and you're like oh my god if you get up you're like hey you're like oh god he did he made it all right
Guest:I was particularly tickled with myself that I chose to get choked completely unconscious like about three minutes into my routine.
Marc:Really?
Marc:That wasn't planned?
Guest:Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Guest:I chose ahead of time for that to happen at the top.
Guest:Most people would say if you're going to get choked unconscious and dropped on your head, let that be at the end of the show.
Marc:How many times have you done that?
Guest:Oh, man.
Guest:One time I got choked out six times in one day.
Guest:And it took me longer and longer to wake up each time.
Guest:It got really ugly.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I was just like, okay, six, that's enough.
Guest:No brain damage?
Guest:Not that I'm aware of.
Guest:But then again, I worry about the CTE, the concussions, like that movie.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because, man, I've hit my head a lot.
Guest:And it didn't really occur to me until recently, like, oh, wow, the damage from hitting yourself in the head, it lays in weight down the road.
Marc:Yeah, it might get ugly later.
Guest:Right, like I'm okay now, but who knows what's weight
Marc:But were you ever diagnosed with a concussion?
Marc:I mean, have you concussed?
Guest:I mean, I just know that I've hit myself in the head so hard that, like, I blacked out, you know?
Guest:That's happened a handful of times.
Marc:Did you remember waking up, though?
Guest:Well, yeah, I remember coming, too, and, like, oh, wow, I just hit my head and I lost some time there, you know?
Guest:That's super not good.
Guest:Part of the job!
Marc:Well, that was what I noticed when he dropped you, when he choked you out, is that you seem to know how to fall.
Marc:You go down, but you're straight.
Guest:I was unconscious.
Guest:There's no knowing anything at that point.
Guest:I know, but you handled it well.
Marc:There's a moment where, well, that's the weird thing about you, is there's a moment where you somehow transcend our need to be concerned, because you just assume, well, it's Steve-O, he's going to wake up.
Guest:Right, like a cartoon character.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then in that fucking Taser thing, that was... Oh, dude, that couldn't have been more real.
Guest:And that was like really... No wrestling tricks?
Guest:Oh, no.
Guest:God, no.
Guest:There's no way to stop that thing.
Guest:Like, Taser is a brand name, and they're the only company that makes...
Marc:The 30-second taser?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:The 30-second taser, which is the one I used, is the civilian version.
Guest:The cops get the kind where the cops hold it, and they can keep administering five more increments.
Guest:Oh, right, right.
Guest:Or increments of five seconds.
Guest:But the civilian version...
Guest:Just as much voltage, just as much electricity, same deal, but it's designed so that you can shoot your assailant and then drop it and run for your life.
Guest:Oh, right, right.
Guest:So the 30 seconds is designed to give you 30 seconds to run for your life and get away.
Marc:Well, the good thing about talking about your show is there's no spoilers because even if you talk about it, it's not like, I'm not going to watch them get tased.
Marc:It actually makes you want to watch it more.
Guest:And I thought it was going to be like five seconds.
Guest:I was terrified of that.
Marc:That was your closer, right?
Guest:Right, yeah.
Guest:I was like, okay, so it's going to be 30 seconds.
Guest:There's nothing that can be done to stop the 50,000 volts continuing for a full 30 seconds.
Guest:And then I remember reaching out to Knoxville, like, hey, dude, can you help me get psyched for this?
Guest:He said, yeah, think about how hilarious it'll be.
Guest:And you don't have to do anything.
Guest:He said, you don't have to do anything.
Guest:You just stand there, you know?
Guest:And I knew it was going to be terrible, but that's what helped.
Guest:I said, okay, you know, it's just going to happen.
Guest:That's his advice?
Guest:Dude, he's just like, it's going to be hilarious.
Guest:He said, think about how funny it's going to be.
Guest:And then I was like, okay, okay, I'm going to do it.
Guest:And then I was like, oh, well, 30 seconds, that might get kind of boring.
Guest:So I thought, all right, we're going to see how many questions I can answer.
Guest:It'll be a 30-second Q&A.
Guest:And then I asked Knoxville, how many questions do you think I'll be able to answer?
Guest:And he sent a photo of him holding up his ears.
Guest:And I got a few.
Guest:Weren't tough questions.
Guest:Yeah, there weren't tough ones.
Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, that was great.
Guest:I was so just thrilled with it, man.
Guest:I thought the whole thing, I mean, I imagine I'll continue to evolve, to grow, to whatever, and maybe I'll look back on it and think, oh, that was that point in my life.
Guest:But I'm thrilled with how it came out.
Marc:Well, it's just funny because there's like a, you know, and this is just me thinking out loud, you know, trying to sort of contextualize shit, is that like there's a vulnerability, you know, that is unavoidable when you're literally being shocked with 50,000 votes.
Marc:Like, you know, you look weird.
Guest:That was the other thing, too, is that... You might shit your pants.
Guest:In preparing for it, I looked through YouTube, like 30 seconds, and I watched like a lot of different people...
Guest:like uh you know get taste for 30 seconds and uh there was a i noticed right away a spectrum of how people handled it yeah there was like uh you know people handled it pretty well yeah maybe you could see there was fucking awful yeah but they handled it pretty well
Guest:and then all the way to people just it just did not handle it well and I thought I would be more on the like making noises oh dude shrieking and begging for it to stop and just like didn't I didn't expect that I was gonna look cool you know not that I did laughing
Guest:I didn't look cool, but I could have looked way more uncool.
Guest:Well, that's the funny thing for a kid who, like, always wanted to be cool.
Guest:Like, you just, like, turn that inside out, and you're like, now I'm going to look really uncool in almost everything that I do.
Guest:Yeah, and I don't understand.
Guest:Like, I'm trying to figure out, like, from when I was a little kid, like, where, like, you know, I mean, I guess at a certain point it kind of started working, you know?
Guest:Like, what I wanted to happen, like, it sort of started happening.
Guest:Um...
Marc:Oh, right, where you were getting the attention.
Marc:You were sort of like respected.
Guest:I got some respect.
Guest:I got some adoration, some approval.
Marc:Weird women.
Guest:Yeah, I made a living.
Guest:But then it gets to a point where it's like, man, I became so identified with this character of Steve-O and stuff.
Guest:And then it's like, oh, man.
Marc:When did things like...
Marc:When you're in high school, so you're a metal kid, and you started drinking, and you started doing drugs.
Guest:Well, it went heavy metal to skateboarding, from skateboarding to substances, right.
Marc:But there was no music involved then?
Marc:It was just fucking- Yeah, I mean, whatever.
Guest:I would listen to the- But you went all in?
Guest:I had different genres of music for every little identity crisis I ever had.
Guest:Right, yeah.
Guest:So at this point, I listened to everything.
Marc:So you went full on into drugs pretty quickly?
Guest:Pretty quickly, yeah.
Guest:Like the first day I tried pot, and then I did it.
Guest:And the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day.
Guest:And it was like I hit the ground really.
Marc:And how far did it go?
Marc:How soon?
Guest:I...
Guest:Within a couple months, I was taking acid pretty regularly.
Marc:Oh, you're an acid guy, mind blower?
Guest:Yeah, and I enjoyed it.
Marc:But there's this unique type of personality.
Marc:I guess you're the kind of personality.
Marc:A guy like me, I took acid twice and it was like, oh, thank God that's over.
Marc:But there were certain guys like you who were sort of like you learned how to work within it, I imagine.
Guest:Well, I mean, and typical to my form, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I knew better than to take acid.
Guest:I would take acid on the way to school sometimes, but only if I had been tripping every day, so then the effect of it is more manageable.
Guest:But if I knew I was going to really be tripping hard, I would take it at the beginning of the last class of the day, so that I would just start to trip as I was leaving school.
Guest:And so I remember going on, and I knew this one day,
Marc:That you had a plan for taking acid during school is disturbing.
Guest:Right.
Marc:You're saying it like most guys like me.
Marc:I mean, if you're going to be tripping all week at school.
Guest:Nobody like you.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I remember one day I knew this acid was going to fall.
Guest:kick my ass you know and i was like and i remember walking into to my last class of the day sat down next to like the hot chick yeah put it on my tongue and then turned to her and stuck my tongue out so she could see it on my tongue right like that'll make her think i'm cool
Marc:There's always that weird mistake where you realize in a moment, even if it's in retrospect, that no one's living like you.
Guest:Right.
Guest:It's the identical fucking thing that I did with ripping out the tooth when I walked in and stuck my tongue out so she could see the hit of acid on my tongue.
Guest:In what world is someone going to go like, yeah.
Guest:Hey, what are you doing?
You want to do that?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, I think in both cases with the tooth and with the acid that I was clear that the girl wasn't going to like me or want me or love me.
Guest:So it's just like, I can't have her.
Guest:So, ha.
Guest:Fuck you.
Guest:I'm going to destroy myself.
Guest:I don't think it was a fuck you, but it was just like, yeah, I'm gnarly.
Guest:I can't have you.
Guest:You don't love me, but I'm gnarly.
Guest:You need to know it.
Guest:Yeah, I've got guts.
Guest:I have courage.
Guest:I'm a warrior.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I think that's really what it was.
Marc:But it's so interesting that when people talk about self-loathing or low self-esteem, we don't manifest itself through our work necessarily.
Marc:Right.
Marc:I do to a certain degree.
Marc:I talk about it, but you're literally like destroying yourself in front of everybody.
Marc:But it's not what, I don't think it's what people think right away when you're, you know, letting a whale shark, you know, eat shrimp out of your dick.
Guest:Right.
Marc:You know, and they're not saying like, that guy doesn't like himself.
Marc:But it's sort of what it comes from.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:For sure.
Guest:I mean, so there's issues, man.
Marc:I can't even, like, do you remember all of the stunts?
Marc:I remember the first one I think I saw you do where I was like, what the fuck was when he snorted all that wasabi?
Marc:And that was pretty mild in terms of a stunt.
Guest:It wasn't that big of a deal.
Guest:I mean, it played well.
Guest:It definitely was received.
Guest:It tickled people.
Guest:At that point, my nose just didn't give a fuck.
Marc:When did you start doing blow?
Yeah.
Guest:I started doing blow regularly when I was 22.
Guest:Yeah?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So did you finish high school?
Guest:I did.
Guest:I finished high school.
Guest:I actually was a relatively decent student until I got into drugs.
Guest:Once I started drinking and doing drugs all the time, my grades took a nosedive, but I still stuck it out and I pulled it off.
Guest:I got early acceptance to the University of Miami.
Marc:Oh, that's like the biggest party school in the world, right?
Guest:I mean, it's a fairly academic school, like unfortunately situated in a place that's like... Yeah, it's Miami.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And so I didn't do very well.
Guest:I bailed out.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, I made it...
Guest:I did all right my first semester.
Guest:My second semester, not so much.
Guest:And I returned as a second year freshman.
Marc:Oh, that hurts.
Guest:And dropped.
Guest:I showed up to my dorm room and said, freshman.
Guest:And I'm like, wait a second.
Guest:I'm a sophomore.
Guest:No.
Guest:And then you bailed?
Guest:And then I bailed.
Guest:And then what did you do?
Guest:I got in a van with this kid.
Guest:We drove out to California to try to work at a ski resort in Squaw Valley.
Guest:And I was like, I'm going to become a stuntman.
Guest:This is going to be great.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:wound up having the government test drugs on me for money in Texas.
Guest:What are you talking about?
Guest:I got into this medical study that- What kind of drugs?
Guest:It was called rack dopamine hydrochloride.
Guest:And they were trying to make it legal to give to pigs and cows so that the pigs and cows would have less muscle mass, sorry, less fat and more muscle.
Guest:So it was leaner meat.
Guest:They could sell leaner meat.
Marc:They were trying it on humans to see what would happen if a human ate the meat?
Guest:Correct.
Guest:They wanted to appeal to a more health-conscious consumer, but if the meat exists in the meat and then the people eat it, then it's entering the human body.
Guest:And because it enters the human body, they have to now test to see how much the humans can withstand.
Marc:Why'd you get in?
Marc:Did you eat money?
Guest:Or you're like, that sounds fun.
Guest:When I dropped out of college...
Guest:I guess dad raised me with enough sort of pride or something that I just didn't have it in me to ask for them to support me doing nothing.
Marc:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah, so I was sort of figuring out and trying to figure out my own way, and I needed money.
Marc:And what'd the drug do?
Guest:uh it made it they kept giving it to us until somebody's resting heart rate was 150 beats a minute and uh so like it's pretty heavy like the dudes were drenched in sweat and stuff and it turned out i have a pretty strong heart so i was okay and uh it paid 2 000 bucks for 12 days did anyone die uh nobody died no um nobody died and then uh how high did your heart rate get
Guest:Like barely cracked 100, I think only a couple times.
Marc:Oh, wow.
Guest:So, yeah.
Guest:So, I was... Did they end up approving that drug?
Guest:They did not.
Guest:It's actually banned, I think, everywhere.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:It's not only not approved, it's like super banned.
Guest:Well, thanks, Steve.
Thanks for...
Marc:We're doing that work for all of us.
Guest:It might have been used somewhere in the world, but I recently Googled it, and Wikipedia just says terrible things about it.
Marc:Yeah, another weird scar you might end up paying for a few years down the line.
Guest:Yeah, you never know.
Guest:That might be waiting for me, too.
Marc:And what'd you do after that?
Guest:After that...
Guest:I wound up back at University of Miami living on everybody's floor.
Guest:You know that guy, huh?
Guest:Yeah, totally that guy.
Guest:And then I roamed around following the Grateful Dead, selling drugs.
Marc:Like real drugs?
Guest:Selling acid and stuff.
Marc:Were you ripping off hippies with fake acid?
Guest:I never ripped off anybody with fake acid.
Guest:I'm pretty sure I didn't know.
Guest:I mean, if there's fake acid involved, like, I didn't know that one.
Marc:You didn't, right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So that's weird.
Marc:So another identity shift.
Marc:Now you're following the Grateful Dead.
Marc:You go from skater to hard rock.
Guest:I got into the Grateful Dead.
Guest:Like, I got into the Grateful Dead.
Guest:That was part of my drug identity, you know?
Guest:Right.
Marc:You have to.
Marc:Yeah, I did that for a couple years, but not as hardcore again.
Marc:I went to a few shows, and I live with deadheads, but you got on the road a bit?
Guest:I figured it out, you know?
Guest:You show up at the show, and you go to, like, the real deadhead, and you get...
Guest:three hits of acid for five bucks and then you sell each for five bucks a piece and then you got 15 bucks and then you buy like an eighth of weed for 15 bucks and you sell it for 30 you know and then you buy like some shrives or you know and then but once i had 100 bucks i was pretty happy and then i would just skateboard and hacky sack you know and
Guest:Never go in the show.
Guest:You're a parking lot guy.
Guest:I was never worried about that.
Guest:I had one guy that I was traveling with who by the end of the day, he would have literally hundreds or thousands of dollars.
Marc:Hundreds of thousands?
Guest:No, hundreds or thousands.
Guest:Not hundreds of thousands.
Guest:He would have just all this money.
Guest:I remember just sort of being like, huh.
Guest:I just wasn't ever that...
Guest:I don't know if entrepreneurial or just money driven.
Guest:I think I always was, because even when Jackass came along, boy, did I not fucking do good business deals.
Marc:Well, yeah, I think it goes either way.
Marc:If you brought up with money, either you only think about money or you don't really.
Guest:I guess.
Guest:And I think that I was always pretty convinced that I was going to die pretty young.
Guest:I figured out, what do I need money for?
Marc:Not unreasonably.
Marc:Not an illogical.
Marc:So you follow the dead for a while, and then what happens?
Guest:And then I wound up...
Guest:Just sort of struggling, being homeless, like, whatever.
Guest:And then, you know, ultimately sort of ran into, like, I had a used car.
Guest:And at the point where, like, I wanted to, like, get in the car and carbon monoxide myself to death.
Marc:You were suicidal?
Guest:I had, like, the idea that that would be, like, a rad thing to do.
Guest:I don't know however close I got to it.
Guest:I wouldn't have known, like, if I was willing...
Guest:When I really wanted to, I couldn't afford to fill the tank with gas.
Guest:But I was just in this place, and the car got stolen.
Guest:And I was just like, man, I don't even have a car to live out of.
Guest:And I called my sister, really despondent.
Guest:And I wound up moving in with her in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Marc:That's where I grew up.
Guest:Oh, cool, man.
Guest:Yeah, I lived in Albuquerque for, like, two years.
Guest:You did?
Guest:From 96 to 98.
Marc:Did you go to UNM or anything?
Guest:I did.
Guest:I went to UNM.
Guest:Like, that was my deal with Dad.
Guest:Like, Dad wouldn't cover my rent, you know, to live with my sister.
Guest:But that's it, as long as I got, like, a certain level of grades.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And, you know, I started, like, I was so beaten down at that point.
Guest:I was willing to actually, like, you know, go to class.
Marc:Still using a lot of drugs or you took a break or?
Guest:That was where I actually... That was where I started doing blow, you know?
Guest:Albuquerque.
Guest:Yeah, in Albuquerque.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, and meth.
Guest:I never really got into meth, but I never turned it down.
Guest:Right.
Marc:It's a bit of a time commitment.
Guest:Right, and...
Guest:right and by that point i was um i really uh like was super focused about i want to be a stunt man you know i'm just going to school like to get the grades and sort of survive but like i was focused on videotaping and organizing like what my next stunt was going to be putting together a reel yeah and and i found out while i was living with my sister about ringling brothers and barnum and belly clown college and that was where
Guest:I thought, man, if I can get into there, if I can get into Clown College and graduate with the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey, then people would take me more seriously as a stuntman.
Marc:Really?
Guest:That's what I thought.
Marc:Based on what?
Guest:I knew about it.
Guest:If I was a trained circus professional, there would be a radness about that.
Guest:right like you're willing to do anything and you can but you're also like right I had the willingness to do whatever and I was crazy but that wasn't like there wasn't anything that seemingly professional about me right so I thought if I was like a you know you're just a crazy kid right a trained circus professional who's crazy and like a clown right then where's Wingling Brothers Clown it was in Sarasota Florida
Marc:So did you go for the full ride over there?
Guest:Well, I graduated, but I wasn't one of the clowns that got picked to be in the circus.
Marc:How long is that school?
Guest:I mean, once you get into it, it's like a summer.
Guest:Really?
Guest:It's more like boot camp for the circus.
Marc:And what did you learn?
Guest:I learned how to walk on stilts, which I made useful in a number of ways.
Guest:I learned how to put on clown makeup.
Marc:Did you learn how to clown?
Guest:A little bit, a little bit.
Guest:I wouldn't say that my skills were exceptional in that area, but I went on to have a career as a circus clown, and I think I did a reasonably good job.
Marc:Yeah, but there was no specific clowning class?
Guest:We had clowning.
Guest:We had dance, clowning, skills.
Guest:acrobatics.
Guest:We had classes all day, trained 14 hours a day.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah, and I was in it to win it, man.
Guest:When I got there, I sort of fell in love with the dream.
Guest:Of course, within the first week at Clown College, they have to cart me off to the hospital because I'm drunk and I need to get my head stapled together because of what I did after 14 hours of training drunk.
Guest:Not so funny.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I didn't make a very good... How did you rip your head open?
Guest:Skateboarding while I was drunk.
Marc:You didn't feel it?
Marc:I'm starting to think that a lot of the shit that looks like it would hurt other people, you just weren't even registering.
Guest:No, I've never had an exceptional threshold for pain or anything like that.
Guest:I mean, I feel pain like anybody else.
Guest:But yeah, I just sort of get through it.
Marc:So did you, like, I know you have to design your own face and everything.
Marc:Did you do all that?
Guest:Right, uh-huh.
Guest:Yeah, the first day at clown college, they just hand you a makeup kit and they give you no instruction.
Guest:Their deal is, here's the makeup, you learn how to use it, and you just do it every day and you figure it out.
Marc:And did you settle on a face?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:I have the same face the whole time.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Marc:And like today, if you were to put on your clown makeup?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Every so often, something will come up where I do.
Guest:I don't know that I've ever gone more than a year or two without- Without putting on your face?
Guest:Without getting on clown makeup or something or other, yeah.
Marc:So where did you work as a professional clown?
Guest:I didn't get picked for the Ringling Brothers, so I went back to Albuquerque and I'm selling pot.
Marc:Scary clown selling pot.
Marc:Do you sell pot in your clown makeup?
Guest:I never sold pot in clown makeup, but I sold it out of the room where the fancy clown costume hung
Marc:I told this story on the show before, but one time I did a PA job when I first moved to LA.
Marc:It was Circus Vargas, and they were out on a lot, and there were clowns.
Marc:The two guys who were clowns for Circus Vargas were there, and after the shoot, they were like, you want to come back to the trailer and get high?
Marc:And I just remember this moment where I was about to get high with clowns.
Marc:I'm like, you guys got to take off the makeup, because I don't think I could handle the... I can't explain it.
Guest:With clowns and full makeup.
Guest:I wound up working as a clown on Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:We were only actually in clown makeup once a week, but otherwise we were called interactive performers, and we would sort of take on different characters, and we would do shows, and they'd warm up the crowd in the theater.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:So all I did was perform.
Marc:How was that?
Guest:It was great, man.
Guest:I got $625 a week.
Guest:You know, one of the first times, and they paid me in cash every two weeks.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And mostly like $100 bills.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And so like, you know, one of my first times I got paid, I got my clown buddy filming me while I'm stapling $100 bills across my body.
Guest:And I was like, I'm the $1,000 man.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because I had never, like... Made that much money?
Guest:Yeah, that was my first time.
Marc:And you just thought that you have to staple them to your life.
Guest:I was like, I have this much money, I'm fucking making a video with it.
Guest:Oh, right.
Guest:Give me the stapler.
Marc:So the videos of doing that kind of shit... Never stop.
Guest:They never stop.
Guest:That was your thing.
Guest:I never put it down.
Marc:A lot of things have been pulled out of your body and out of your skin, like staples, darts.
Guest:Uh-huh, for sure, man.
Guest:Yeah, and a lot of it stays in there.
Guest:I got a BB in my nipple for six years now almost.
Guest:Why did you get it out?
Guest:Because, fuck, man, it's super cool.
Guest:Like, in my book, I got... Super cool, again, to who?
Guest:Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Guest:Some things never change.
Guest:It's somehow fascinating.
Guest:I have a picture of a Wee Man, because this was something we filmed for Jackass 3D.
Guest:It was important to me to film it, and everybody knew that it would never get used, but I called it BB gun nipple piercing, and we're trying to shoot my nipple off with a BB gun or whatever, which was just dark and gross.
Guest:But Wee Man did it, and he shot it at such an angle that it went into my nipple and stayed in.
Guest:And, of course, the footage didn't get used for anything.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But I told the story in my book, and I put it in the photo section, a picture of Wee Man.
Guest:A little before and after, you could see the close-up shot of the nipple.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I said, like on the caption,
Guest:If you see me and you're curious, just add, you know, like you can feel it still in there.
Guest:You can feel it.
Guest:Just ask.
Guest:So people will ask me every once in a while.
Guest:Can I feel the BB?
Guest:And I love it.
Marc:Do you sense a certain type of person is your fan?
Guest:You know, I think that there are different levels of fan, but I think that at some level, it almost defies demographics.
Guest:And I say that because everybody is fascinated on some level driving by an accident.
Guest:They want to sort of slow down and check it out.
Guest:And so that's kind of like what has been our art, is to create accidents on purpose, knowing that they're
Guest:inherently fascinating to people there's something primal about that and uh and i think beyond that i think that like you've got that primal kind of urge to witness an accident and then you've got like us uh being
Guest:I guess there's something endearing about how we've been willing to be splayed open, to sort of okay with looking uncool and being vulnerable.
Marc:In the most extreme way possible.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So the endearing plus the primal, I think, creates a combination that's almost universal.
Marc:That moment where Knoxville wakes up after, what's his name, knocked him out?
Marc:What was that guy's name?
Marc:Butterbean.
Marc:Butterbean.
Marc:Where Knoxville fucking comes to and he goes, how's Butterbean?
Guest:To me, that's all of it right there.
Guest:How's that guy?
Marc:You just fucking leveled him.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:So in the show, you talk about...
Marc:uh getting sober from drug addiction and and then uh you know after that sex addiction to a a fairly disturbing degree what what what were the events that led to you like finally really getting sober um the the for chemically sober yeah um well i mean that was where knoxville you know i was i flamed out pretty hard when it was time to get sober and um
Marc:But like you just kept drinking and they all knew it and it was all part of the atmosphere.
Marc:But at what point, you know, what happened where it became a concern to like Johnny?
Guest:Oh man, like I...
Guest:The drugs really sped up the process for me.
Guest:Coke?
Guest:Coke, yeah, for sure.
Guest:I can thread my nose with a shoelace.
Guest:I've got the hole going through, a pretty big hole through.
Guest:Coke was always a thing, and I would get ketamine and PCP and nitrous.
Marc:That's weird, because you'll do anything with your body and anything with your brain.
Marc:With the same sort of thing, I'm going to get through it.
Marc:I imagine that some of those drugs, because you lose control.
Guest:Yeah, and I think that more specifically, psychosis was a regular thing for me.
Guest:I would be on coke once I got into my third day of a coke thunder, and I'm inhaling nitrous, almost to the exclusion of air.
Guest:I'm just trying to inhale nitrous oxide and be on cocaine.
Guest:And I would go through these episodes where I was hearing voices.
Marc:Yeah, no, I've had that, yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Cocaine, Sycoca.
Guest:I fucking loved it, too, man.
Guest:Like, people would be walking around my apartment.
Guest:Like, they were never there, but, like, I see them.
Guest:Oh, right, right.
Guest:You know?
Guest:Like, I see people walking through the walls and shit.
Marc:Yeah, surprise friends.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I'm hearing voices and all this.
Marc:And you were entertained by it.
Guest:I loved it, man.
Guest:I fucking loved it.
Guest:Like, frankly, like, I miss that.
You know?
Guest:You know, like a lot of people think like, oh, you know, like a drink would be nice.
Guest:It'd be cool if I could just smoke a joint.
Guest:Like, no, like I want to pile drugs into my body until there's a fucking room full of people who don't exist.
Guest:That's what I want.
Marc:I'm sorry that you missed your friends.
Guest:And my behavior like with the psychosis was just got creepier and creepier.
Marc:Did you ever think you were actually actively trying to fucking die?
Guest:No, I remember at one point being in this big swiveling office chair and sort of, you know, like a big pile of drugs in front of me, coke and nitrous and whatever.
Guest:And then all like everything.
Marc:You had a tank, I guess.
Guest:I never had a tank, man.
Marc:I would have like a... You weren't committed, huh?
Guest:No, I was committed, but I just didn't know how to get a tank.
Marc:No dentist friends?
Marc:Somehow we got a tank in college from some guy who worked for a dentist.
Guest:I know.
Guest:I was happy enough to have the guy from the head shop who was also like a...
Guest:customs agent or something like and i would get the uh there were 24 cartridges per box and 25 boxes per case right and so like i know because i got so many cases 600 yeah you know
Guest:600 per uh per case right and so i would just do case after case you know it wouldn't be unusual for me to do 600 uh of the of the cartridges in a day oh my god what a weird fucking addiction and the whole floor of my apartment was just like nitrous canisters just i was swimming in them and and uh and i was just like it was like it was almost it's like a game to see like to fill up like the balloons you know before well i would still hold the breath so i can just only be
Guest:Crazy.
Marc:That's the one thing I remember about nitrous is coming back into consciousness.
Guest:For sure.
Guest:And it was killing me.
Guest:So I'm in this chair and I'm looking at all these drugs and I'm thinking to myself, I'm fucking dying.
Guest:I'm dying.
Guest:I am literally killing myself here.
Guest:And I thought the words specifically, I thought, I don't care if I die.
Guest:And I lean forward to just snort more.
Guest:and as i thought i don't care if i die and i lean forward like physically like my experience the the chair that i was in just spun around man like like this fucking like some like if there was like a big huge guy yeah like the like almost like it turned into a mechanical bull style it's spun around like uh yeah of course like i mean this is like a tactile hallucination but it was such no maybe one of those guys you were making up was like you've had enough
Guest:For sure.
Guest:Absolutely.
Guest:Absolutely.
Guest:And to this day, to this day, that marks a moment where it was like, I don't care if I die in some fucking higher power.
Guest:I had that.
Guest:I know what you're talking about.
Guest:The message was so clear when that chair spun.
Guest:Think again.
Guest:It is important that you...
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know, think again, like you got to not die.
Guest:You got to get better.
Marc:The first time I got sober was in the psychosis where I was hearing voices.
Marc:And I remember out loud going like, how far out can I go?
Marc:And a voice I never heard before, like right next to my head said, you've gone far enough.
Marc:And I left the fucking next day and I left town.
Marc:I left L.A.
Marc:and I got sober the first time.
Marc:I didn't stay sober.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I didn't do anything about it.
Marc:No.
Guest:I mean, that night, I remember that night, there was this whole intervention of spirits, and God was in my apartment, and it was just dependent.
Guest:The next day, my buddy's hard.
Guest:God was in my apartment last night, man, and now I'm going to get sober.
Guest:No more drugs.
Guest:I'm going to be sober.
Guest:And they're like, oh, okay, cool.
Guest:And then the next day, I'm at it again.
Marc:Got a little rest.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But I remember when I got to rehab, when I finally was ready,
Marc:Well, how did they do an intervention?
Guest:Yeah, they did.
Guest:Like, they did.
Guest:I was, like, broadcasting my downward spiral in virtual real time on, like, on YouTube and MySpace and emailing, like, 200 people.
Guest:Oh, so, yeah.
Guest:Very public.
Guest:Very public, man.
Guest:I was, like, you know, like, just email blasting Knoxville and everything.
Guest:Like, oh, like, the last people in the world.
Guest:Like, I cringed to think of, like, who I was emailing all this stuff to.
Yeah.
Marc:And that's still out there.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I'm grateful for that today because that's sort of the fire.
Guest:And the humiliation that that brought about is really what inspired the willingness.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And did they actually come over and get you?
Guest:Well, yeah.
Guest:Knoxville reached out to Dr. Drew and he's like, hey, man, Steve is going to die.
Guest:Dr. Drew, of course, is on the email list as well.
Guest:And Dr. Drew said, I agree.
Guest:He said, I agree.
Guest:We're about to lose him.
Guest:And so Dr. Drew instructed Knoxville to just get over and just get me into the psych ward.
Guest:He said, you got to duct tape him, throw him in the trunk, whatever.
Marc:Not a rehab at first, a literal psych ward.
Guest:Yeah, 5150 him.
Guest:And so they showed up eight guys strong.
Guest:And at this point, like...
Guest:did they film i flamed out well no i did though the one thing they didn't film i had uh i flamed out so hard i mean i got arrested for for vandalism like my neighbor was calling the cops all the time because i was so out of control yeah and so like i i uh you know started so i was just just piss off the neighbor i'd be pounding on his wall yeah i wound up pounding a hole through the wall
Guest:And so now the cops come over to arrest me for vandalism because I'm now yelling at the guy through the hole in the wall while I'm looking into his apartment.
Guest:Oh, no.
Guest:So the cops come to arrest me.
Guest:Fucking nuts.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, I'm all fucked up on ketamine.
Guest:I don't know what's going on.
Guest:I pounded the hole in the wall.
Guest:The cops show up.
Guest:We got to take you to jail.
Guest:And I'm standing there with no shirt on, no shoes.
Marc:And they know who you are.
Guest:Yeah, they know.
Guest:They're like, we got no choice.
Guest:We have to take you to jail.
Guest:And it's going to be fucking cold.
Guest:So if you want to put on a shirt and some shoes before we take you, we'll let you do that.
Guest:Which gave me an opportunity.
Guest:I could have gone into my apartment, take the big bag of fucking cocaine out of my pocket, maybe leave it in the apartment.
Guest:But I'm like, fuck a shirt, fuck shoes, let's go.
Guest:With the cocaine in your pocket.
Guest:so i get booked into jail with the fucking you know like an eight ball or no it wasn't anything that much but enough you know i had a bag and um and so they arrested me again and i was in jail for a few days but i get back from the from uh from jail and uh and there's a the eviction notice on the wall get the fuck out in three days kind you know and and i and and so i go on a crazy bender and by the and by the time like and you are you are you charged
Marc:With cocaine possession?
Guest:Totally charged with cocaine possession.
Guest:And within a couple hours, I'm fucking, like, all fucked up on ketamine, jumping up and down.
Guest:I've got my buddy filming me.
Guest:I'm jumping up and down on a parked car, screaming.
Guest:The drug buddy.
Guest:Screaming, God is the sun.
Guest:And getting, like, you know, like, I mean, like, within two hours of getting out of jail.
Marc:And you're putting that out in the world?
Guest:You posted it?
Oh, yeah.
Guest:Oh, yeah, posted it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I actually had them post it while I was in the psych ward, you know?
Guest:Like, giving instructions to one guy.
Guest:You know, and it was just so fucking gnarly, man.
Guest:And so now I get back to my apartment and I got to be actually cleaned out like the next day.
Guest:But before I clean out, I'm emailing my mass email list.
Guest:i gotta be out of my apartment tomorrow so we gotta hurry up and film i gotta jump out of my fucking bedroom window of the apartment building and uh and i'm gonna need something to land on because it's like 25 feet to the sidewalk and so i'm like nox so you guys come on like bring me like i don't care like cardboard boxes preferably a hot tub something something to land in on the sidewalk and i want to ride a motorcycle through the living room and out the sliding glass door and the
Guest:jump out onto the roof of the building next door.
Guest:And these are my stunts and I want to make them happen.
Guest:And I'm telling the guys, like, bring me something to land on.
Guest:Come on, like, be here at 10 a.m., you know?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And if you don't fucking come, like, I'm going to fucking jump anyway.
Guest:I don't give a, I'll find out how many bones get broken when I land on the sidewalk.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Fucking, I'm ready to die.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Which qualified me for the 5150.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know?
Guest:Which I sent to 200 people.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I promise I'm going to jump.
Guest:I'm ready to die.
Guest:And so Knoxville responded.
Guest:He wrote, what's with the early call times?
Guest:Sheesh.
Guest:Bring the cameras.
Guest:He said, we'll be there, but can we make it noon?
Guest:and uh and i was like okay noon noon noon it is cool yeah and so what happened was i scheduled my own intervention yeah who showed up a lot of friends ah dude they showed up knoxville it was a whole crew of jackass like uh the the uh director jeff tremaine dimitri eliascovich the director of photography this uh camera guy rick cossack the sound guy cordell um the the uh
Guest:executive producer Tripp Taylor.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:And then a couple other just big dudes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And none of the cast?
Guest:No, none of the cast was there for that, no.
Guest:But Knoxville and The Red, there was eight guys.
Marc:Had Ryan died yet?
Guest:No.
Guest:No, Ryan died.
Guest:This was 2008 when I got sober.
Guest:Ryan died in 2011.
Guest:And so it was just like, Dr. Drew was really clear.
Guest:Like, if you got to tie him up, you got to beat him up or just get him into the hospital.
Guest:And so they took me to the hospital, 5150.
Guest:I was pretty sure.
Guest:Did they have to tie you up or beat you up?
Guest:Well, yeah.
Guest:Not to get me there.
Guest:Not to get me there.
Guest:But what happened when I got to the hospital, I thought I was going to just calmly explain that this was a misunderstanding.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I didn't realize they printed out my emails.
Guest:And so there was no talking my way out of it.
Guest:And then when I found out I wasn't going to talk my way out of it, then they...
Guest:I've just got belligerent.
Guest:I want to smoke a cigarette now.
Guest:I'm trying to throw chairs.
Marc:It's like an episode of Cops.
Marc:You always wonder what drives a guy to be like, fuck you.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:You know you're done.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I remember the moment when I went to go grab the chair, and maybe I got it up over my head to throw it.
Guest:At the hospital?
Guest:Yeah, at the hospital.
Guest:And dudes, these orderly guys, appeared out of nowhere with the swiftness, and just grabbed me and slammed me down onto this stretcher bed thing.
Guest:And someone jammed a needle into my butt cheek, and then that was it.
Guest:I just took a nap.
Marc:It's over.
Guest:I was like, Thorazine or whatever it is, it just knocks your ass out.
Marc:And you woke up in the hospital.
Guest:And I woke up, and I woke up, and then now- Were you strapped down?
Guest:I can't remember.
Guest:I remember seeing the straps, and I'm kind of claustrophobic, and so that made me a little bit more reasonable.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But yeah, once I woke up from the nap, they didn't have to strap me down.
Guest:I woke up, and now I'm in the psych ward.
Guest:They changed my status from 5150, which is three days, involuntary hold, to 5250, which is two weeks.
Guest:And, you know, I'm just a fucking mess, man.
Guest:And I'm in there, and they had me, like, for a little over a week, and finally I was like, okay, you know, it's time.
Guest:And you went to rehab?
Guest:Then I went to rehab, yeah.
Marc:And you've stayed sober since?
Guest:Stayed sober ever since, yeah.
Marc:That's fucking amazing.
Marc:And then... And what were you doing in the psych ward?
Marc:They were evaluating you and...
Guest:I was just like, I went to like my home group and I was like, you know, I said, I shared openly, like all the work I'm putting into my steps, I feel like all I'm getting out of it is just self-hatred.
Guest:And I hate myself.
Marc:Interesting, yeah.
Guest:I just hate my, like everything I'm looking at in my step work just makes me hate myself.
Guest:And I just like, I was just feeling suicidal, man.
Guest:I'm just like, I hate myself so much, you know?
Guest:Right.
Guest:So my home group's at Los Encinas Hospital.
Guest:And so they just at the end of the meeting just walked me across the ground.
Guest:to the psych ward to the psych ward yeah and i was i was in that second psych ward like uh for like three weeks you know at one point mike tyson came through oh really to visit you or just
Guest:Yeah, it was like my last day was like his second day.
Guest:Did you talk to him?
Guest:Yeah, totally.
Guest:I was talking to him.
Guest:I was begging him to film a stunt with me when we got out.
Guest:I'm like, Mike, I'm not asking you to punch me.
Guest:I'm just asking you to hold your fist out and keep it still with your elbow locked and let me run into it with my face.
Guest:What'd he do?
Guest:He says, I don't want to hurt you, Steve.
Yeah.
Guest:holy shit yeah we wound up doing that at the charlie sheen roast a few years yeah yeah did you do it yeah i broke my nose on his fist like uh you know which was great because bam had broken my nose on the uh jackass 3d and i let it heal fucked up then i went to a nose doctor after two months and he said i'd love to help you but it's already healed this way so now if you want me to fix it i gotta re-break it with a chisel yeah
Guest:And I was like, oh, it doesn't bother me that much.
Guest:Then I dove into Mike Tyson's fist and Charlie Sheen rose and super broke it.
Guest:And then this Kung Fu instructor comes out of the crowd and fucking says, dude, it needs to be set straight now.
Guest:And I'm like, okay, fucking fix it.
Guest:Perfect.
Guest:Things work out.
Guest:Just stay sober.
Guest:Yeah, for sure, man.
Marc:I like this obsession that no matter where you are or what you're doing or how fucked up you are, that the obsession is always like, get this on camera.
Marc:That was what was driving you, this need to document.
Guest:After that second psych ward, that was sort of the point.
Guest:When I was in the first psych ward and I went to rehab, I was almost looking at it like, yes, I was serious about sobriety, but I was like, man, I'm going to get sober and then I'm going to get respect and
Guest:You know like the world's gonna somehow owe me.
Guest:I'm gonna do a lot of good.
Guest:Right.
Guest:It's kind of like I was getting sober for what I could get out of it.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And by the time I like you know the steps beat me down.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I was like and then and then it was like it got real and it was like okay.
Guest:And I remember being in the I mean I felt weird even talking about like like the book and so but I'm reading in the book.
Guest:in the second psych ward.
Guest:It's in the family afterward chapter about how the past of every alcoholic, there's specters of shame, humiliation, and all of this worst shit we ever did.
Guest:comes to be useful.
Guest:It becomes not only an asset to us, but really the greatest asset that we have.
Guest:I remember reading that and thinking, okay, so it's not like I need to hate myself and judge myself.
Guest:I'm not like now, I just need that.
Guest:It becomes my asset everything you stay sober you share your experience right everything that made me hate myself became and like a the asset that like I just don't want to be that way anymore right now I'm not gonna know I'm not gonna work a program sobriety for what I can get out of it right now I'm gonna work a program sobriety and
Guest:to fundamentally change the person i am so that i don't hate myself that's right yeah so so my my motivation became sort of uh correct right reframing it like you're right training your brain i was in it for the right reason yeah it's great that's a great moment and once i got out of that second psych ward i went back into rehab and uh and i just put down the camera i put down all everything and i was just focused on really yeah that's amazing and then after then when i was at six months
Guest:And like you said, it took a long time to fucking... Clear out the fucking ghosts and goblins.
Guest:Right, after six months, I left that rehab and moved into a server, like a halfway house.
Guest:And I remember going to speak at the Salvation Army at six months.
Guest:And then sometime way after that, I was at a meeting or something.
Guest:The guy was like, dude,
Guest:I was there when you came to speak at the Salvation Army.
Guest:Man, we were worried about you.
Guest:You thought you were going to say thank you?
Guest:Man, we were worried about you.
Guest:I was in there talking about reincarnation and spirits and ghosts and goblins.
Guest:We were worried about you.
Guest:Yeah, sorry.
Guest:But I stayed in sober living, you know, like the halfway house, until I had two years of sobriety.
Marc:Oh, wow.
Marc:You really locked in.
Marc:Yeah, I mean, like that was... Did you find that the... Did you get diagnosed with any other mental issues?
Guest:I did.
Guest:I got the bipolar diagnosis, and I got a bunch of meds with it.
Guest:But I honestly think that you pile enough fucking chemicals into... Yeah.
Guest:Anybody that did as much drugs and the kinds of drugs I was doing... Yeah.
Guest:Would be bipolar too, is kind of what I think.
Marc:Sure, so you waited it out.
Guest:Yeah, I don't have any of that psych med deal now.
Marc:And do you experience depression or mania?
Guest:Not on any kind of level that I used to.
Guest:And also, I think that I don't experience depression or mania without an event tied to it.
Guest:It doesn't just come out of nowhere.
Guest:I will react really heavily and unreasonably.
Guest:Like life is not okay over little stuff.
Guest:But there's always something.
Marc:But that's just fucking being an addict.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:there's always something to motivate like whatever right you can track it right that's good and when did you when did you wrangle with the sex addiction because you talk about that how many years into your sobriety did that start to happen well i mean shit like uh i think this this sex acting out sexually was was always there yeah um where like it got pretty fucking dark man um
Marc:Well, the event you talk about in the specials, it's funny in a way, but it's pretty dark.
Guest:It's dark and it's also nothing compared to yours.
Guest:That's not even that big of a fucking deal.
Guest:I remember the sex got super out of control because once I started doing stand-up on the road, and after every show, I'm taking photos with the whole crowd,
Guest:And I wasn't even selling merch.
Guest:It was basically auditioning to see who was going to suck my wiener that night.
Guest:And I would keep coming back from my gigs.
Guest:You leave on a Wednesday, you come back on a Sunday or a Monday.
Guest:And I'd talk to my sponsor and I'd be like, dude, I really...
Guest:feel shitty about myself for like you know like hooking up with all these chicks and i don't want to do it and i just keep doing it you know and uh and i just couldn't stop man and um that's kind that's that sort of like weird sexualizing wanting love and shit and just like getting and feeling that connection yeah just like well i just want i just want to like like get off get off and then as soon as you do then all of a sudden like in comes this cold darkness
Marc:Yeah, the shame.
Marc:Yeah, because they leave and you feel like you treated them badly.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Because you realize at some level that there's some unresolved thing where you're kind of compelled towards the shame.
Marc:Because you know that it only ends there.
Marc:Right.
Guest:The whole cycle.
Guest:And I was reading about it, too.
Guest:I was reading about the cycle of preoccupation, of ritualization, acting out, and shame.
Guest:And it just repeats.
Guest:And it repeats and it gets worse and worse.
Guest:And...
Guest:man it was so gnarly and at that point uh i wound up i was already seeing the sex therapist you know and then i was like i just dove in fully and i went like uh into a full like uh outpatient and intensive outpatient program like yeah on sex out of greed really yeah like uh it was like a two-week outpatient program like just all day every day for like for two weeks
Guest:And, um, and then when I, after that, when I left out and then I started bringing my buddy on the road to be like the cock block, you know?
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I, I went full celibate man for, I didn't, I didn't even jack up.
Guest:I did not blow a load period for a year and three months.
Marc:Holy shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I tried to, uh, and then I got into a relationship and that was a disaster.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It just didn't work.
Marc:How'd you feel not blowing a load for a year and three months?
Guest:just like i'm just i don't know moderation you know so it's just like oh that was just my next thing you know to like and so it was just like you know did it help your brain i never had a fucking wet dream because like in the dream where like like i was i remember a bunch of dreams where i'm about to blow a load but then i'm like oh i can't lose my time
Guest:I can't lose my sexual sobriety in my dream.
Guest:And so whatever.
Guest:At this point, it's like I've known being promiscuous, and it doesn't work for me.
Guest:I've been completely celibate.
Guest:That's just sexual anorexia.
Guest:It doesn't work for me.
Guest:And I've tried to be in relationships, and I just haven't been successful there either.
Guest:So that's the thing.
Marc:But are you hopeless or are you just sort of like going to keep trudging the road of happy destiny?
Guest:I'm not hopeless at all, man.
Guest:Like I just think that I just got to keep working on myself and try to figure out like how I think to sort of...
Guest:pick the relationships better you know i think there is a relationship for me that will work yeah i i just haven't picked successfully and uh i think that like the rigidity of uh you know i just need to find some kind of balance and do you have a spiritual life
Guest:For sure, man.
Guest:Like, I got into TM, and that's been cool.
Guest:I've been kind of slouching on it a lot lately.
Guest:But, yeah, like, all the 12-step shit and the prayer and meditation.
Marc:You do it.
Guest:I do, man.
Marc:And you're vegan now, too?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Marc:And you're standing up for the animals, climbing up on shit and getting into trouble?
Marc:Right.
Marc:You're using your skill set for an actual reason other than just like, I can't fucking believe I did that.
Yeah.
Guest:New outcome and useful.
Guest:What did you do?
Guest:You climbed up a crane?
Guest:I climbed up a crane, man.
Guest:Yeah, it's amazing how dumb that was.
Guest:I'm trying to protest SeaWorld so I go to a fucking random construction site nowhere near SeaWorld.
Guest:I fucking climbed this 150-foot crane with an inflatable toy whale.
Guest:You know...
Guest:Which is way too high up in the air for anybody to see the fucking whale.
Guest:So you still got a little of your old behavior.
Guest:That's old behavior.
Guest:Dumb shit.
Guest:Steve-O's on a crane with a whale.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And people can see, like, oh, maybe he's going to jump, whatever.
Guest:And I'm in the middle of Hollywood.
Guest:And so by the time I get the fucking whale inflated, there's 80 firefighters, 18 cops, a helicopter, and a SWAT team.
Guest:You know, and I'm just like, you know, like a reasonable person.
Guest:Like, oh, this has gone too far.
Guest:I better like, hey, guys.
Guest:I'm like, no, I'm fucking inflating my whale.
Guest:And I'm blowing up my fireworks like I said I would.
Guest:Did you?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I taped three artillery shells, which are the thing that you drop into the tube and then it shoots up into the sky and then makes the display.
Guest:But I taped them to the crane itself and lit them like arms distance away from me so that the... And you got no rope holding you?
Guest:no like i did i did uh uh i i i got one of those fucking clips oh you did okay yeah yeah um but uh yeah and just blowing up fucking fireworks while the helicopter's circling like just immediately around me i'm like oh fuck and what'd you get you got arrested i got arrested for what how many charges five charges um like in uh
Guest:creating a false emergency, aggravated trespassing, and then three fireworks-related charges.
Guest:And where is that at now?
Guest:Well, I got sentenced to 30 days in jail.
Guest:I turned myself in.
Guest:I was released in eight hours.
Guest:They have this weird quadrant of streets where I'm not supposed to go, or if I'm going to go, I have to have permission.
Guest:which is like uh because they think you have a relationship with that crane like don't let him get near that thing whatever it is there's there's like a little area where i need permission if i want to go there yeah and um and i have like 80 hours of community service which that'll be good for you oh i was able to choose like i asked can i do it with the humane society and so i've been i did 25 hours this past week man yeah doing what specifically
Guest:Fuck, I've done it all, man.
Guest:I was filling rabies syringes with rabies vaccinations.
Guest:I've done cat trapping, outreach going around East LA, offering free spay and neuter services and vaccines.
Marc:Look at that, man.
Marc:It forced you into service.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:Which is super cool, man.
Guest:I've taken animals to the shelters.
Guest:I've been at the shelters.
Guest:I adopted two cats in the process.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:The first shelter I went to, I adopted a cat.
Guest:And then the second shelter I went to, I adopted a cat.
Guest:That's good.
Guest:I got two rescue dogs, two rescue cats.
Marc:Oh, that's sweet, man.
Marc:Well, good, man.
Marc:I'm glad you're alive.
Guest:Yeah, man.
Marc:You seem pretty good.
Guest:I'm in pretty decent shape, you know, all things considered.
Marc:You look good.
Marc:Well, thanks, man.
Marc:Yeah, man, and the special's great.
Guest:It's pretty fucking crazy.
Marc:Yeah, it's great because like, you know, like I'm coming to it with my own baggage about stand up and what, you know, but the thing is, it's like, it's really a show about you and it's handled with, you know, with humor and humility and, you know, the little bit of stunts, which you're good at.
Marc:It seems like, you know, like, like I see it, like, like there's part of me that like just thinking about you.
Marc:Like, there'd be really no reason why you couldn't actually put together a show that would rival a magic show.
Marc:You know, just stunt driven.
Guest:Do you know what I mean?
Guest:Sure.
Marc:Like a Vegas show.
Marc:Don't you think?
Marc:If you did bigger stunts?
Guest:It would be... It's difficult to figure out, like, what's repeatable.
You know?
Yeah.
Guest:You mean without dying?
Guest:Right.
Guest:The higher impact stuff is tough to repeat.
Marc:Well, all right.
Marc:Well, don't die, buddy.
Guest:And dude, super honor, man.
Guest:Thank you so much, man.
Guest:Yeah, thank you.
Guest:It's a real big deal to do this, man.
Guest:Thank you.
Marc:It was great.
Marc:I appreciate it.
Guest:Cool.
Marc:That's it.
Marc:That's our show.
Marc:I really was surprised and excited at Steve's recovery and his disposition around it.
Marc:I liked him, and I didn't know how that would go.
Marc:So, what else?
Marc:You can go to WTFPod.com, see the new thing, and get tickets to my Trip Anyhow shows in May and June, small shows here in L.A., and do whatever you do over there.
Marc:Check out the new site, though.
Marc:I'm sorry I'm a little heavy-hearted, but I'm a little heavy-hearted today.
Marc:What are you going to do?
What?
Marc:And I guess I'll play a little guitar.
Marc:This is sort of a riff like that song I was talking about.
Marc:And I've done it before, but that Rivulet song, yeah.
Marc:All right, well, let's play it out.
Marc:And hey, I just want to say, you know, Patton, my heart goes out to you.
Marc:And I'm terribly sorry for your loss.
Marc:And a lot of people love you, man.
¶¶
Thank you.
guitar solo
Guest:Boomer lives!