Episode 690 - Ryan Singer
Marc:Lock the gates!
Marc:All right, let's do this.
Marc:How are you?
Marc:What the fuckers?
Marc:What the fucking ears?
Marc:What the fucksters?
Marc:What's happening?
Marc:I'm Mark Maron.
Marc:This is WTF.
Marc:This is my podcast.
Marc:Welcome to the show.
Marc:My guest today is comedian Ryan Singer.
Marc:A good friend of mine has been on this show in small bits and pieces many times over the years.
Marc:Today's Ryan's day to have his full interview.
Marc:he's been a good friend of mine for years he's open for me on the road he's got a new cd out called immortal for now he's also going to be appearing tonight at doc's lab which is the old purple onion in san francisco and he's on the show today ryan singer yay i am heading into the last day of shooting for season four of my show maron which can be seen on ifc starting in may and
Marc:You can watch seasons one through three of Marin on Netflix.
Marc:It's not really a plug.
Marc:I'm not trying to plug.
Marc:I'm just telling you.
Marc:So let's reenter the conversation about the buzz that's coming through my receiver.
Marc:And this is the problem with dealing with audio that you now have some sort of sense of perfection invested in or some sort of emotional commitment to the nostalgia effect of...
Marc:running analog audio through old receivers and equipment to time travel like I do.
Marc:I can't not have music on right now.
Marc:I don't know what it is.
Marc:If I have music on almost all the time in my house or wherever I am,
Marc:alone primarily, then whatever voices that are not singing to me within me that are not generally saying pleasant things or maybe not reflecting on the best things, they get sort of drowned out by some of the amazing musicians and people's records that I listen to.
Marc:So it is psychologically beneficial in my great journey to avoid and distract myself from existential paralysis.
Marc:I think that's healthy.
Marc:Am I a better person?
Marc:Do I feel better?
Marc:Yeah, I have music going all the time.
Marc:So I'm constantly distracted by something that's pleasant in my ears and not necessarily something on a computer screen.
Marc:And that's going to cause me anxiety like the speedball that is Twitter.
Marc:But I'm getting to the point where I might have to try to build a Faraday box.
Marc:I didn't know what a Faraday box was.
Marc:I'm not sure I do know what a Faraday box is.
Marc:I'm not sure I understand what a Faraday box is.
Marc:But if your equipment's getting pummeled by external waves, I believe they may be called RF waves, might be the ones I'm dealing with, radio transmitter waves, something, antenna.
Marc:But the Faraday box is something.
Marc:It has to be made out of steel or copper mesh, from what I understand.
Marc:and it has to surround the piece of equipment, and then you have to ground it, and it will deflect whatever electrons or electropebbles or electricity waves are coming at it, are coming at your receiver or whatever piece of equipment it is that's picking up these waves and causing trouble in the quieter moments of wonderful music.
Marc:So, so I'm, I'm, I'm going to get that stuff and I'm going to build one and it's going to be a big pain in my ass because now I can't look at my, my pretty old Marantz.
Marc:I got to look at this giant box covered in copper tape that I have to put over the thing in order to play a record.
Marc:The Faraday box.
Marc:Apparently planes are basically flying Faraday boxes and
Marc:So we don't get jarred by lightning and fried in our chairs before the plane crashes.
Marc:But Faraday box on the horizon, protected, protected from renegade frequencies that can just pound their way in and cause some unpleasant noises and buzzing and bad sounds.
Marc:So that's where I'm at.
Marc:I'm at the Faraday box stage.
Marc:All right, so let's track it.
Marc:And, you know, see, like, some of you know, you wonder, like, you know, why does Marin talk about himself all the time?
Marc:Go back on the air.
Marc:Go to the archives.
Marc:On how.fm.
Marc:And listen back.
Marc:One of the reasons I choose to talk about my small world and my large brain keeping me trapped in my small world and whatever I take in within it.
Marc:is because it doesn't necessarily hardly ever date itself.
Marc:That I was very aware going into this that if I did a podcast or utilize this medium to talk about current events or be constantly in relation to current events, that they would have a shelf life of nothing.
Marc:They would be dated.
Marc:I knew that.
Marc:But I'm not always insulated well, friends.
Marc:So the other night I kind of fell down a pit.
Marc:It's stupid.
Marc:I did a few sets at the Comedy Store.
Marc:Did one good one, pretty good one, where I kind of got out on the ice and dicked around a little bit and paid off.
Marc:That was the early show in the original room.
Marc:Then I did the main room, where I just did some good material that I liked with a great audience.
Marc:I followed Yakov Smirnoff, who also did well at the Comedy Store, bringing up Rogan after me, and I killed it.
Marc:It was a great set.
Marc:Then I did a later set.
Marc:In the small room again, the original room.
Marc:And I'm trying to work on new material.
Marc:So the way I do that is I get on stage and I ramble through some stuff that I think is going to go somewhere.
Marc:And I hope that the great muses, the comedy muses, deliver to me in that moment.
Marc:where a laugh is needed the the the line that i will need to get that i i wait for it to spontaneously occur and that sometimes it's a longer wait than others but the premises themselves were funny enough to at least be entertaining and my struggle with them was funny enough to be entertaining but i did not receive a transmission i did not receive a transmission from the comedy muses from the great uh
Marc:From the great whatever.
Marc:I wish I'd see.
Marc:That's exactly what happened.
Marc:Right there I waited for something.
Marc:An analogy.
Marc:A metaphor.
Marc:I hope it would pop in.
Marc:Did not pop in.
Marc:I didn't outline this.
Marc:But it didn't pop in.
Marc:So I was left hanging.
Marc:And you saw it.
Marc:You witnessed exactly what happens to me.
Marc:When I'm writing new material on stage.
Marc:It doesn't always happen.
Marc:But it's just part of the process.
Marc:So I did that.
Marc:which you know i should just be doing the job i should just be doing the job i should be entertaining so i got up on stage that third show i was doing and this is this is what sent me spiraling and you're gonna it's stupid i was looking for an opportunity to spiral
Marc:So I go up there and I riff through some stuff.
Marc:Didn't work great.
Marc:Got some laughs.
Marc:Was trying jokes that worked on the very first show that were new.
Marc:And they just didn't pan out that third show.
Marc:Didn't pan out.
Marc:And I knew that.
Marc:But I knew it wasn't bad.
Marc:And I'm in the hall after the set.
Marc:I'm getting ready to run away in my car because there were friends of mine there to see me.
Marc:And I didn't feel good about the set.
Marc:And I still have that sensitivity.
Marc:Some guy comes barreling out, an older guy, maybe a little older than me.
Marc:He's all lit up, looks like a tourist.
Marc:He goes, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Marc:He goes, you're funny, man.
Marc:You're funny.
Marc:It was the material.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:And I go, what?
Marc:He goes, you're funny.
Marc:You really are funny up there.
Marc:You know, I can see that you're funny, but the material just wasn't there.
Marc:And this was a compliment that was negated immediately after it was said.
Marc:I'm familiar with that.
Marc:I utilize that.
Marc:But the bottom line was, he goes, it's my first time seeing you.
Marc:I think you're really funny.
Marc:It's just the material.
Marc:You know, I'm like, all right, I get it, man.
Marc:I don't need to hear it three times.
Marc:But he was right.
Marc:I should have just done a pro set.
Marc:I went up there and I noodled around and I felt that tinge of humiliation.
Marc:This is the downfall of doing comedy is that embarrassment is incredibly disconcerting and uncomfortable.
Marc:Being embarrassed is a horrible feeling.
Marc:It's a very tangible feeling.
Marc:It's not deadly, but it's horrible.
Marc:And there's no shortage of the opportunity for that when you do stand up comedy.
Marc:And one of the reasons I think I did stand up comedy was to have a certain amount of control over that.
Marc:But I did go home beating the shit out of myself, realizing like, yeah, that material isn't there.
Marc:It'll be there.
Marc:I didn't say that, though.
Marc:I spent a couple days in life.
Marc:I don't even have it in me anymore.
Marc:I don't got any material in me anymore.
Marc:That was the end of it.
Marc:There's no way I'm going to be able to pull another hour out of my fucking heart and out of my mind.
Marc:It's over.
Marc:That's where I went because that motherfucker said that.
Marc:And I think he was honestly trying to compliment me.
Marc:Where is the Faraday cage for the brain?
Marc:Where is the Faraday?
Marc:Where is the protective mesh one builds around their inner sanctum of their mind where when there's just a little vulnerability?
Marc:I usually have one.
Marc:I've been pretty good with my my mental Faraday cage of protecting myself from bad energy coming in and collapsing the whole sound of the inside of my inner monologue and dialogue.
Marc:an interpersonal relationship with myself from within.
Marc:But there was a little vulnerability.
Marc:There was a little crack in the mesh that night.
Marc:And that guy just spat out that half compliment and set an electron past my mesh that protects my mind.
Marc:And it just started to wreak havoc.
Marc:By the time I got home, I needed to stuff my feelings with food and to masturbate it all away.
Marc:And then I woke up feeling gross and shitty and small and human and not completely sure I would ever be able to do anything funny again.
Marc:End of story.
Marc:But let's get now to my guest, Ryan Singer.
Marc:Ryan Singer, a great friend of mine, someone who's been on this show in various capacities over the years, live shows, the Creationist Museum show.
Marc:He's been in here for short interviews.
Marc:Well, now today is Ryan's day.
Marc:Today is Ryan Singer's day here on WTF.
Marc:uh he's been a good friend to me and he's a funny guy i've taken him out on the road with me he's actually tonight in san francisco at the old purple onion which is called the doc's lab uh and he's got a new cd out called immortal for now and uh he's a searcher and he's the real deal he's out there doing the business folks he's out there doing the funny so let's go now to my conversation with ryan singer
Marc:This is it, I guess.
Marc:This is it.
Marc:Long time coming.
Marc:Right?
Marc:Coming down the pike.
Marc:No, but have you thought that?
Marc:Have you at all harbored any resentment or malice in your heart with the wise... I'm Maren's friend.
Marc:Why haven't I done a...
Guest:Well, I mean, well, this is where I'm launching from my perspective on this.
Guest:I mean, some people have asked me like, oh, haven't you done a full length?
Guest:I was like, well, listen, I've done a live one in Aspen.
Guest:That was a while ago.
Guest:I've been in the garage a bunch of times.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I was like, I understand where they're coming from, but they don't understand where I'm coming from or to the degree of all the other things you've done for me.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You've helped me out a big time.
Guest:I mean, you're my mentor.
Guest:Oh, come on.
Marc:You're driving my old car.
Guest:You're gonna teach me how to polish boots later.
Marc:I will do that.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:That's one of those things where I've got my own style that I think is the right way to go, but I imagine there are other people that are like, don't ever do that with a boot.
Marc:Who the fuck told you to do that?
Guest:I feel like you polishing boots, in my mind, the image I have is you trying to strangle a rabbit.
Guest:I feel like it would be very furious.
Marc:No, no, it's meditational.
Marc:I got shit.
Marc:I got all this stuff.
Marc:But okay, so let's go back.
Marc:The first time I met you was in Cincinnati.
Guest:Yeah, Cincinnati years ago.
Guest:I think I had you sign your book for me.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You were there.
Guest:That's back when you were still Air America radio days.
Marc:Oh, that horrible weekend where no one showed up?
Guest:Yeah, well, I mean, except me and a bunch of all the comics in town.
Guest:And Tate.
Guest:Yeah, and Tate.
Marc:That was a bad weekend because I felt like I didn't want the guy to give me the money because he had really assumed that I was going to just pack that place because they're American.
Marc:Literally, it was the opposite.
Guest:Yeah, but there's no way that dude would not pay you.
Guest:I mean, that's the kind of guy he was when he was.
Guest:He's back there working again now, but he's not booking the club anymore.
Guest:But that's the club I came up at.
Guest:So it's like you can't, like in our minds, that was never even an issue.
Marc:But let's talk about the evolution of the wild man.
Marc:Because I think at the time I met you, it was just beginning.
Marc:But there was a time previous to that where you had a haircut that was a proper haircut.
Marc:You dressed like a road comic.
Marc:You seemed to be on a different trajectory.
Yeah.
Marc:So let's walk it back.
Marc:So you grew up in Ohio.
Marc:I grew up in Ohio, yeah.
Marc:Very Catholic family.
Marc:No, but let's hold up here.
Marc:You grew up in Ohio.
Marc:How many siblings?
Guest:I got two.
Guest:Two born and then others through marriage.
Guest:Sisters, yeah.
Guest:Two sisters.
Guest:No, brother and sister.
Guest:You got brother and sister?
Guest:But I've got a couple stepsisters.
Guest:A lot of fragmenting.
Guest:Yeah, a lot of fragmenting.
Guest:A lot of babies.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But which part of Ohio?
Marc:Southern Ohio, Dayton, Ohio.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:See, I don't know much about Ohio.
Marc:Ohio is like a classic American state.
Marc:You hear the word Ohio never means good things.
Guest:Yeah, which is interesting to me.
Guest:And, you know, I try not to.
Guest:I take it with a grain of salt out here, especially, you know, when you got the, you know, coast bias.
Guest:Yeah, sure.
Guest:You know, everyone calls it the flyover states.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know, you don't really pay attention to that because, you know, a lot of the food comes from there.
Guest:So it's like, well, I mean, you're eating out here.
Guest:oh so you're like fuck you we have pigs yeah we have pigs we do pigs my mom and ann actually have a grass-fed uh cow business that they've been doing for years right now yeah an organic you know no no stairway they've been doing it for like 10 years like tomorrow you could go visit cows oh yeah hell yeah i do all the time you do they got the horns too the ones that are from like scotland or whatever they look like uh where the wild things are those beasts uh yeah and they're uh and they're scary
Guest:But do they live on the farm?
Guest:They live on the farm.
Marc:Your mom and aunt?
Guest:No, my aunt does.
Guest:My aunt lives on the farm that my grandpa and grandma had.
Guest:Wait a minute.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Your grandpa and grandma had a cattle farm?
Guest:No, it was not always a cattle farm.
Guest:What was it?
Guest:It was a corn farm.
Guest:And they held on to it?
Guest:Yeah, my grandpa was an Air Force guy.
Guest:He was like a lieutenant colonel in the Air Force, and then he bought a bunch of land out there, because Wright-Patt Air Force base is out there.
Guest:Outside of Dayton?
Guest:Outside of Dayton.
Guest:So a lot of Air Force people out in that area.
Marc:And they bought land when it was coming back from what?
Guest:Years ago.
Marc:From...
Marc:Like he was a lieutenant colonel during what period in the military?
Marc:Well, gosh, he was Korean War.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So there was just land available, land grab.
Guest:A ton of land.
Marc:They probably got a deal, a break for being in the service.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:You think?
Guest:Oh, yeah, and a ton of acres out there, and a beautiful house, spent a lot of time out there as a kid growing up.
Guest:Your grandparents' place?
Guest:Yeah, my grandparents, on my mom's side.
Guest:And how many acres, like, are we talking?
Guest:I'm guessing.
Guest:I don't really know.
Guest:I'm guessing at least probably 30, 40 acres.
Marc:Oh, that's pretty big.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Okay, so your mom grows up out there?
Marc:Sure.
Marc:And it's a big old farmhouse?
Marc:Big old farmhouse.
Marc:And there was corn.
Marc:No pigs?
Guest:Was there pigs?
Guest:He didn't do any of the farming.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They did lease out the land.
Guest:A lot of people would lease out their land to farmers.
Guest:You guys do it, pay the lease, and good luck with the corn.
Guest:Give us a cut.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But there's always corn subsidies for this or that.
Marc:They do more with corn.
Marc:I think I might be ingesting corn right now and I don't even know it.
Marc:You probably are.
Marc:I think there's corn in the air now.
Marc:Corn syrup is everywhere.
Marc:Corn syrup is everywhere and there's corn other things.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:It's just corn always gets used somehow.
Guest:And I don't know why corn, I guess soybeans are kind of moving in.
Guest:They're kind of moving up the charts.
Marc:Well, corn is like, I think generally across the board everyone's decided it's not good.
Marc:Corn syrup is shitty.
Marc:It's a horrible sweetener that gets everybody fat.
Marc:And it's hard to digest it, which is where you get all those classic corn poop jokes.
Marc:It goes in the same way it comes out.
Guest:Corn, there's no point in it.
Guest:Popcorn's also.
Guest:I was a big fan of those jokes when I was younger.
Marc:How can you not be?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:All right, Cheech and Chong.
Marc:I like the way you got the corn in it for texture, man.
Guest:I just saw on Instagram today, Tommy Chong is getting ready to release his new mixtape.
Guest:Called corn in my shit.
Marc:Never goes away.
Guest:Yeah, so they grew up out there, and then I spent a lot of time out there as a kid.
Guest:They would just drop us off during the summer.
Marc:Of course, but no animals back then.
Guest:No, they always had a bunch of dogs and cats running around, all kinds of cats and random dogs running around.
Marc:Now, is this the grandmother I hear so much about?
Guest:That's Grandma Jesus.
Guest:That's what we called her.
Guest:She was hardcore Catholic.
Guest:I mean, we're talking like when I was a teenager, if I was dating a girl, the first question out of her mouth was, is she Catholic?
Marc:Right.
Guest:Don't be unequally yoked.
Guest:And I was like, I have no idea what that means.
Guest:Unequally yoked.
Guest:It's some biblical term about not being, I guess, Catholic.
Guest:so you grew up with that shit i grew up with that shit like the uh because we'd get dropped off out there on the farm for like a you know a month at a time it felt like during the summer and we would just you know wake up every morning and we have to you know do all the farm work and all that kind of what if it's if they're leasing the land out they did they had a chicken coop you know that's how we went and got our breakfast we'd go and raid the chicken coop grab a bunch of eggs and and then you bring them in the house and your grandma would cook eggs
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Fresh eggs like that?
Guest:Fresh eggs like that.
Guest:And I'll tell you something, when you're a little kid, it's scary as hell stealing eggs from- From chickens?
Guest:Yeah, because you're stealing their babies, you know what I mean?
Guest:And they don't like that shit.
Marc:So you and your brother and your sister, are you the oldest?
Guest:No, I'm the middle child.
Guest:Who's the youngest?
Guest:My sister.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:And so, yeah, but I did learn a valuable lesson, though, because there was one, what is it, a rooster, I guess?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The guy who just got to, I guess, have sex with all the chickens.
Guest:And I was like, my grandma was like, yeah, that's the guy who...
Guest:That's the one.
Guest:And he was the one who got the most pissed off when you were in there, just squawking at you.
Guest:But yeah, we do that.
Guest:And I think they did have a cow, too, because I milked a cow as a kid.
Guest:Somewhere.
Guest:It's a vague memory.
Guest:I remember grabbing those things.
Guest:Yeah, and there were horses, too, because my aunt was boarding horses.
Guest:She always kind of lived on a back house on the farm, and she would board horses.
Guest:and like train horses yeah so i remember uh there was a horse lady horse lady so a couple donkeys here and there really uh-huh donkeys yeah i learned how to ride a horse when i was very young can you ride it now um yeah but i'm probably i'm i went and saw i was out there last summer and they have this big black stallion out there it's gorgeous and i was actually scared to approach it because it'd been so long since i'd been around the horse you gotta stay on the
Guest:horse yeah yeah you do and they are huge yeah i know they terrified me yeah yeah i did ruin a horse once or a pony you broke a pony well we because you're not supposed to feed them when you're sitting on them yeah uh they always told us that but we did it anyways because we were stupid little kids right and um but what happens was they get used to eating while someone's you know doing that so then this horse wouldn't stop turning its head around and just biting your leg
Marc:yeah i had that experience horrible when putting a saddle on they bite you on the side the fucking worse there's no way like dudes who have the mindset to deal with large animals like that they're just sort of like they're just dumb fucking animals and i'm the boss i don't have that i barely have that with my cat
Guest:And they're the worst because they don't ever register that shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No, I can't... I do love a horse, man, but I couldn't... People are like, oh, I want a horse.
Guest:I never understood that either.
Guest:Like, oh, I want a horse.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I want a horse.
Guest:Give me a horse.
Guest:It's like, you want a horse?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Like... A lot of responsibility.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Like, that's a fucking horse.
Marc:But okay, so you're getting eggs...
Marc:Grandma Jesus.
Guest:Milk and cows.
Guest:Oh, Grandma Jesus is filling us with, you know, filling us with like Book of Revelations type shit.
Marc:So where are your parents during this?
Marc:They just drop you off at Jesus' farm?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:And they're on their own?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, they're both raised in Catholic, you know, big, large, strictly Catholic families.
Guest:But what's the background?
Marc:But you're not Italian, you're not Polish.
Guest:Irish, mostly Irish.
Guest:Oh, okay.
Guest:Mostly Irish, Catholic.
Guest:Yeah, I can see it.
Guest:Scottish, German, English, French, I think too.
Guest:But mostly Irish.
Guest:My mom says it's the black Irish where I get the hair.
Marc:I think so.
Marc:I'm just seeing that now.
Marc:I never realized it, but you're like some crazy Mick.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So that makes sense.
Marc:But it's so funny because like, you know, the rooster thing that like a lot of your a lot of your bits now, your broad crazy man bits, you know, have to do with survival and persistence and mysticism and biological things to a certain degree.
Marc:It's all growing, man.
Guest:The vision.
Guest:Yeah, it's all growing.
Guest:I've kind of transitioned.
Guest:It's interesting because when I first started comedy, I was kind of this same style, but I couldn't get work because I was just too much of a maniac.
Guest:I didn't know how to write a joke yet, exactly, so I would go on stage.
Guest:I'd be like, I'm an artist.
Guest:Don't tell me what to do.
Guest:I can say everything I want.
Guest:That's the way to go.
Guest:And so then five years later, I'm like, oh, I'm still just at open mics.
Marc:Well, let's go back.
Marc:So tell me about the Catholicism that was dumped into your head, because I think Catholics get a little mad at me because sometimes I'm dismissive or even seemingly anti-Catholic, but it is a pretty big mind fuck.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:And it gave me a great blueprint for what I really am into now in life, which is like that mysticism of the universe and all that kind of stuff.
Marc:So that's funny.
Marc:So you transcended the sort of mundane yet ornate mysticism of the Catholic Church, but the template was there.
Marc:So you just started filling it in randomly with your own information.
Marc:I don't need Jesus.
Marc:I got crystals, dog.
Marc:that's no no why not i guess but so what were you terrified of your grandmother or how she was a tiny little lady yeah tiny little lady and she was a living saint you know according to everybody so but you know you don't want to miss yoke or whatever so okay so what else was very catholic like she told me i mean she had pretty much convinced me that i was
Guest:I mean, I guess I didn't need much of a push, but even as a little kid, I think I was kind of a megalomaniac or a little egomaniac.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, convinced me that I was very special.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That's what grandma's job.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:A good grandma's job.
Guest:I think this went a little above and beyond to the point where she's like, you know, the Virgin Mary will come to you in a vision probably because you're very special.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:And then she gave me guidelines about like how to know if it's the Virgin Mary or if it's Lucifer pretending to be the Virgin Mary, which happens.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, if the Virgin Mary appears to you and is not barefoot, that's when you know it's the devil posing as the Virgin Mary to try to trick you into some shit.
Guest:Make note of that, Catholics.
Guest:So she told me that.
Guest:I remember I had one of the most distinct images or memories I have in my life as a little kid.
Guest:We'd always go to church constantly with them when we were out there, and they'd have little cafeteria luncheons afterwards.
Guest:And one time we were just hanging out at the farmhouse and she showed me she's like, you want to see a miracle?
Guest:And I was like, oh, I'm like six, seven years old.
Guest:I'm like, hell yeah, I want to see a miracle.
Guest:And she shows me this picture of the lunch line of the church cafeteria.
Guest:And there's a space in between two people in line.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And in the middle is a floating Virgin Mary.
Guest:A picture.
Guest:This is before Photoshop.
Guest:This is way before Photoshop.
Guest:This is what, 1983 or something?
Guest:And she's like, that's the Virgin Mary.
Guest:She was captured in this photo.
Guest:And I was like, this will be the thing.
Guest:Even as a little kid, I was like, this will be the thing that forever cements my faith in God.
Marc:That picture.
Guest:That picture, right.
Guest:You bought it.
Guest:I bought it.
Guest:I was in.
Guest:How old were you?
Guest:I can't remember exactly.
Guest:I was somewhere between like six and nine years old.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:And so then for the rest of my life, that was the one thing that no matter how far away I got from the church, which was very, very far, I always had that one thing like stuck in my brain.
Guest:I've seen the Virgin Mary in a photo.
Guest:In a cafeteria line picture.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so then before she died, this was, I don't know, maybe like six or seven years ago, I was hanging out out there.
Guest:At the farm still?
Guest:At the farm.
Marc:She's still out there?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:She stayed there till the end?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:And my grandpa did too, up until this past year.
Guest:He passed away a year ago?
Guest:She was 89, or no, he was 89 when he passed away.
Guest:And she was, I think, 87.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:But, so, what happened was, she would always ask me like, are you going to church?
Guest:Blah, blah, blah.
Guest:And I'd always lie and say yes.
Guest:and uh i was like you know what the one thing that's always held me on you know i've always had in my mind i was like that picture you showed me of the virgin mary when i was a little kid and she just looks at me and she goes
Guest:what and i go remember you had a picture from the church where the virgin mary was floating and she goes oh um no i don't i don't remember that and then like instantly i just remembered like feeling like oh it's all it's all gone now
Guest:Because you don't forget a miracle, right?
Guest:To me, that's the way I rationalize it.
Guest:You can't forget a miracle happening.
Guest:And then someone told me, well, if your grandma was as religious as you say she was, she probably experienced miracles all the time, so this was no big deal to her.
Guest:And I was like, no, you remember showing your grandchild a photo of the Virgin Mary.
Marc:She was 87.
Guest:still i mean that was enough it was enough for me to finally release all of that really that moment that moment it was gone what other shit did she tell you what about like oh so you saw the miracle when i was younger she told me like i would show up at school like when i was a kid how often were you going to church when you were a kid did you every sunday uh every sunday with the family and then every friday at school because i went to catholic church for 12 years so every friday we'd have school mass you were really in
Guest:Well, when I was a real little kid, up until about 11, I wanted to be a priest.
Guest:I had the whole mass memorized.
Marc:That's why you were special.
Guest:That's why I was special, right?
Guest:I thought I was the next chosen leader of God.
Marc:Oh, your grandmother had instilled that in you?
Guest:She had instilled to me that essentially it was Moses, Jesus, Ryan Singer out of Dayton, Ohio.
Ha, ha, ha.
Marc:Everyone's been waiting for that singer kid.
Guest:I mean, I really thought I was going to be at the, you know, the front lines of the war because she told me the war between the devil and God, you know, the second coming of Jesus that would open up, you know, that would be the big battle for everyone's souls.
Guest:And she told me that it would happen in her lifetime.
Guest:And, you know, she's been dead now for about six or seven years.
Marc:It's probably happening.
Marc:You're just out of the loop.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You might be on the wrong side.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Or maybe this is hell or heaven or purgatory or whatever.
Marc:Nah, nah, it's happening.
Yeah.
Marc:No, if it's happening, it's happening.
Marc:It's happening on Twitter.
Marc:But this is not, yeah, heaven or hell.
Marc:This is Earth.
Marc:And it's a troubled place.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But there's no indication that that war is not going on.
Marc:It's just really how you frame it, isn't it?
Marc:And apparently you've given up your leadership potential.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And now we're just a lost planet because Ryan Singer decided to hang his hope on bullshit.
Guest:Just waiting for that moment where they come and get me out of the doldrums or whatever and say, we need you now.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:How open are you?
Guest:Well, hey, man, I am, you know, my 2016 schedule is pretty open right now, so.
Marc:Be ready for the message from the almighty.
Marc:Hey, Ryan, your grandmother just reminded me up here that.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:Well, you know, I went by the peacemaker as a little kid.
Guest:Like, I gave myself that nickname.
Guest:You were the peacemaker?
Guest:I was the peacemaker, yeah.
Guest:I would go around recess in school breaking up fights.
Guest:I'd be like, stop fighting the peacemakers here.
Guest:You got to stop fighting.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:So she really filled you up?
Guest:She really filled me up.
Guest:I mean, I got in trouble in mass in school because I'd be performing, doing all the things, and the nuns would be like, what are you doing?
Guest:And I'm like,
Guest:they thought I was mocking the ceremony.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I was like, no, I'm practicing.
Guest:You don't understand.
Guest:Like, I already, like, even as a kid, I was like, I'm better than this guy is.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like, this guy is boring as fuck.
Guest:Like, get me, get the peacemaker up there.
Guest:Let's get some charisma happening in this mass.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:I could light this thing up.
Guest:Riff a little bit.
Guest:Yeah, do some riffing.
Guest:The homilies, I was like, oh, go off book on the homilies.
Guest:That's when they tell their stupid jokes.
Guest:Some priests actually had a little bit of sense of humor, and those ones were like, they were living gods.
Guest:If you ever went, people would say, oh, this priest, you got to come to this mass because this priest is hilarious.
Guest:And so I'd be like, okay, I'd check it out.
Guest:And it was a guy who told a street joke.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That was the guy who was- Not even using his own shit.
Guest:Yeah, not even using his own shit.
Guest:But that's interesting.
Guest:So you believed in hell.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I don't have a memory of learning hell.
Guest:That's how strong it is.
Guest:Still a little bit, probably, if I was to be honest.
Guest:I don't remember learning about it.
Guest:It's always been there.
Guest:That really framed my life.
Guest:The idea of burning?
Guest:Oh, God, yeah.
Marc:Was it tangible?
Marc:I mean, the Peacemaker was, you know, before you realized that the devil was pulling at you.
Marc:But I guess you knew that he was pulling at you every day, right?
Marc:Well, sure, yeah.
Marc:As the Peacemaker, when you saw a couple of kids fighting in the playground, you're like, oh, Lucifer.
Yeah.
Guest:I better go get him out of there.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:The devil is fucking with my friends.
Guest:Oh, I better go beat the shit out of that devil over there.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I learned how to masturbate.
Guest:That's when I realized.
Guest:That was a big moment.
Guest:Really?
Guest:That's when I was like, well, because you're taught that you're going to hell for this.
Guest:That's when you start negotiating.
Guest:Sure, you start negotiating.
Marc:How bad could hell be?
Guest:Yeah, how bad could hell be?
Guest:And so then, you know, slowly but surely, I shed the peacemaker after that.
Guest:And now you're the masturbator?
Guest:And now I was the masturbator.
Marc:I am the lizard king.
Guest:Yeah, and that's about around the same time I realized that, you know.
Marc:How old were you then?
Guest:I was probably around 11.
Guest:That's when you started jerking off?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I think that's when I first did too.
Guest:I think that's about the year.
Guest:That's when I transitioned from just laying on my belly on a mattress.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And waiting for something to happen.
Guest:Yeah, to like actively.
Guest:To actually taking control of the situation.
Guest:Yeah, letting the devil.
Marc:To letting the devil enter.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:It's like the devil said, you know, you can make this more fun and if you turn over and you actually get active with this, not rely so much on like weirdly rubbing the fucking mattress.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I never was that guy.
Marc:You never went full bore into it?
Marc:No, that fucked pillows or fucked a mattress.
Marc:I had a weirder way.
Marc:I've talked about it before.
Marc:I've never heard anyone say it.
Marc:Literally the first few times that I fucking jerked off, it was like filling a bath up in that water, shooting out of the spigot.
Marc:I just stick my dick in there.
Marc:I don't know if it happened by mistake or whatever.
Guest:That shows how in touch with your feminine side you were.
Guest:I guess so.
Guest:It's a little girly.
Guest:Yeah, because you hear about shower heads all the time with women.
Guest:Yeah, even at a young age, you were in touch with your feminine side.
Guest:I guess so.
Marc:That's good.
Marc:I guess, yeah.
Marc:And I kind of jerked off weird for a good part of my life.
Marc:It was girly a little bit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, I mean, mine was real loaded with guilt and shame and all that kind of stuff.
Marc:The first time you grabbed hold of your dick, you were like, this is it.
Guest:Like I remember, I'll never forget the day because then I could hear friends in the back.
Guest:One of my best friends lived right behind me.
Guest:And my other best friend lived right next door to him.
Guest:We were all the same age.
Guest:And the one kid had a trampoline.
Guest:So there was always kids there just jumping around and having a good time.
Guest:And it was after school.
Guest:I jerk off for the first time.
Guest:And then I can hear them all out laughing and having a good time.
Guest:I'm like, oh, they're laughing at me because I just jerked off.
Guest:Because this was also like part of, this was in an age, 1987 or whatever, where it's like, if you jerked off, you were gay.
Guest:Really?
Marc:What kind of fucking world did you grow up in?
Guest:Well, I grew up in that Catholic... Jewish kids were like, you jerking off?
Guest:Yeah, I'm jerking off.
Guest:Really?
Marc:How often do you jerk off?
Marc:Twice a day?
Marc:Really?
Marc:That's good.
Guest:Well, it wasn't until I was in high school that that really became a topic for dudes.
Marc:Oh, so you mean when you were 11 or 12?
Guest:Yeah, when I was 11, it was... You were probably ahead of the pack.
Guest:And being gay was a real big problem because you were going to burn in hell for that.
Guest:you know what i mean but you're also gonna burn in hell for just jerking off yeah so it's like you're jerking off that means you're you're touching a dick so you want to touch a dick so you must be gay really that was the thought you're i mean i guess that makes sense you're a little kid you don't know much right right so uh so then i go outside afterwards to go play full of shame full of shame and i just they all know they all just know i've just jerked off peacemaker is dark
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so then, you know, sometimes I would just kind of like go home from school and just jerk off.
Guest:Really?
Guest:And then just like lay in shame?
Marc:Yeah, just lay in shame.
Marc:Now, did your grandmother, did you feel guilty around your grandmother after that?
Marc:Once you started jerking off?
Guest:I tried not to think about it when I was around my grandmother.
Guest:I mean, like-
Guest:I mean, I felt guilty because I also started smoking cigarettes at the same time.
Guest:At 11?
Guest:I kind of had a hard break from this God thing.
Guest:At 11?
Guest:I went all in.
Guest:After you masturbated and then you smoked?
Guest:That's when I smoked for the first time.
Marc:Did your grandmother characterize the battle that you were supposed to lead?
Guest:Not really.
Guest:I mean, my grandma mostly had stuff about, like, you're very special.
Guest:Jesus is going to come back in my lifetime, so you'll be able to witness that.
Guest:And then she would fill me with other stories like she went to Medjugorje, which is like a retreat place for like, you know, Catholics where miracles all always happen.
Guest:And she would always just tell me about, oh, some some priest found a diary in an ancient ruin.
Guest:And it has all these predictions.
Guest:And, you know, there's going to Virgin Mary is going to appear over New York City on Christmas Eve.
Guest:And so I'd go to school and I'd tell my friends.
Guest:the Virgin Mary is going to appear over New York City on Christmas Eve, and there's going to be a great punishment and all this other kind of stuff, and then none of it would ever happen.
Guest:And so everybody would be like, hey, peacemaker, what happened?
Guest:I thought the Virgin Mary would do it.
Guest:What's your mother doing?
Guest:Where's she at?
Guest:She's just kind of, you know, she's still Catholic.
Guest:I mean, I don't know really anymore, but at the time she was.
Marc:So your parents are married at this time when you're 11 and jerking off?
Guest:Mm-hmm.
Guest:And smoking cigarettes?
Marc:Smoking cigarettes.
Marc:What's your old man?
Marc:Your old man's pretty Catholic?
Guest:Yeah, also raised in a Catholic family.
Guest:Yeah, pretty Catholic.
Guest:He's a judge now, but at the time he was a lawyer.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:Or he was in law school when I was very young.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so I just learned the other day we were on food stamps.
Guest:My mom would probably get pissed off if I told people because she likes status and that kind of thing.
Guest:But I just learned the other day.
Guest:Not a great lawyer then, huh?
Guest:Well, no, not yet.
Guest:No.
Guest:Oh, you mean when he was in law school.
Guest:When he was in law school.
Guest:And so then, you know, then he went into title, the title business, had a title business, got pretty successful.
Guest:Then it crashed in like the early nineties and that recession.
Guest:I don't even know what it is.
Guest:And then it's like when people, when you buy a house, you have to sign a title and that kind of shit.
Guest:And then, and then he kind of built it back up after almost going bankrupt and then got a job as a judge.
Guest:Got a job as a judge.
Guest:Well, I mean, he ran for, you have to be elected, because he was a county judge.
Guest:And he actually, his first time he ever ran for election, I just dropped out of college, and I was moving to Los Angeles to do stand-up.
Guest:And I was very young.
Marc:So you came out here before?
Guest:I've been out here a bunch of times.
Guest:Like failure, I've really embraced failure.
Guest:So you came out and you fought the beast.
Guest:I fought the beast.
Guest:And then you went back.
Guest:Yeah, I went back.
Guest:I had, you know, my first mental breakdown.
Guest:Well, I've never had a second one, but anyway, I moved with a guy who's dead.
Guest:Hold on, hold on.
Guest:I moved with a guy who my dad was running against.
Guest:It was his father.
Marc:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah, so we had a bet at the time.
Guest:Whoever's dad won the election, the other person had to... Well, let's backtrack.
Marc:So you're jerking off, you're smoking cigarettes, you're 11, your mom's Catholic, you're dealing with your dad, being a lawyer.
Marc:When did they break up?
Guest:When I was about 16.
Guest:And he was already a judge?
Guest:No, not yet.
Guest:He wasn't a judge until about seven years ago.
Guest:And what kind of judge is he conservative judge?
Guest:He is conservative, but he's a Republican.
Guest:But I think he would probably declare himself more of a he probably leans libertarian.
Guest:So he's not a social conservative.
Guest:He's a fiscal conservative.
Marc:And but very socially progressive.
Marc:Right.
Marc:That's what I mean.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Like, you know, he's OK with you jerking off and being gay.
Guest:yeah i mean he recently just yeah for sure for sure he recently started a uh woman's court in uh montgomery county ohio which i think there's only one other uh court like it uh in the country and he's you know really into like fighting human trafficking i mean he's my dad is probably the best dude i know that's good yeah and you get along oh yeah we get along great
Guest:he's okay with your life decisions yeah he is i think he's filled with worry yeah but uh that's usually what it is yeah they're concerned i've always been very supportive oh that's good yeah and your mom yeah always supportive as well get along with her all right get along with her all right you know she's uh we kind of have like a reverse relationship though and what's that like i'm almost the parent i have to tell her like you need to call me back and she'll be like oh i'm sorry i know and she's out there on the horse farm
Guest:No, she lives with my stepdad in just the suburbs.
Guest:How's that guy?
Guest:He's great.
Guest:Oh, good.
Guest:He's an architect guy.
Guest:This is how he introduces himself to everybody.
Guest:He says, Jim Tinney, Dayton, Ohio.
Guest:Like to everybody.
Guest:It doesn't matter who you are.
Guest:That's how he introduces himself.
Guest:Guy who's been working since he was 14 years old.
Guest:He's like 71 now, and I think he's being like forced into retirement by my mom.
Guest:Because, I mean, what's the guy?
Guest:He's the kind of guy who doesn't know what he's doing.
Marc:She better be careful what she hopes for.
Guest:Yeah, right?
Marc:You get the guy that can't stop working and you make him stop working.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I don't know how they're going to be around each other all day because both of them need hearing aids, but they won't admit it.
Guest:So it's just like constant arguments over things that the other person they think is ignoring them when they just don't hear each other.
Marc:I think I'm getting to that point.
Marc:I'm yelling at my girlfriend, like, can you just talk...
Marc:Like in a normal tone, so I don't have to be like, what?
Marc:What?
Marc:Have you had your hearing tested recently?
Guest:What?
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:I have not had it tested.
Guest:You should.
Guest:I mean, I don't know why.
Guest:It's a vanity thing, I guess.
Guest:Why people don't want hearing aids?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:No, I don't think I need a hearing aid.
Marc:So, what, you made it through high school?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:May through high school.
Marc:You smoking a lot of cigarettes?
Marc:Smoking lots of cigarettes.
Marc:Dipping, chewing tobacco.
Marc:I mean, I'm a Southern Ohio boy.
Marc:Tell me about that fucking double thing, that horrible thing you told me about dipping where you do a full face.
Guest:What is that thing?
Guest:Oh, the mouthpiece?
Guest:Ugh.
Guest:Oh my God, yeah.
Guest:The mouthpiece.
Guest:I think I only tried the mouthpiece once.
Guest:It's when you fill your upper lip and your lower lip with just dip.
Guest:And it's the worst.
Guest:You can't breathe or you can't do anything.
Marc:Your mouth just is- But dipping is so specific.
Marc:It's like it's not- I didn't grow up with it.
Marc:I can't keep that shit together in my mouth.
Marc:I would have-
Marc:You gotta get the long cut, that's why.
Marc:I know, but you could dip regular Copenhagen, couldn't you?
Guest:Sure, for a while I did do regular Copenhagen.
Marc:But it's like, where'd you learn that shit?
Marc:Is that just an Ohio thing?
Guest:My buddy Eric Nagel taught me.
Guest:Well, and the only reason I dipped, because I was never that drawn to it other than the fact that I loved baseball.
Guest:And a ton of baseball players dipped.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And so, I don't know, the first time I ever tried it, dude,
Guest:I mean, I must've been 15.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I almost fell down the steps.
Guest:I was buzzing so hard.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I was like, yeah, I'm doing this.
Guest:I'm doing this, dude.
Guest:I mean, cause that's how it was with cigarettes too.
Guest:Like I also heard the cigarettes lowered your voice.
Guest:That's why I started smoking because I was like the last one of all my friends to hit puberty.
Guest:So I kind of had a high pitch voice.
Guest:I was like, oh, I don't know where I even heard that shit.
Marc:And now, and then that, and that leads to like me and you being stuck in a lifelong struggle with fucking nicotine.
Guest:Yeah, I mean, I've been about three months clean now.
Guest:But you're on and off.
Guest:You're throwing the book at me.
Guest:You've given me that book three times.
Guest:Yeah, I've read that book 17 times.
Guest:It works every time I read it.
Guest:I mean, someone's like, I think you might be addicted to reading the book.
Guest:And I was like, well, maybe I should just smoke again so I can get another hit.
Marc:Get another hit of that book, kid.
Marc:That's the way the addict mind justifies doing it.
Guest:I do think about, I mean, although when I see smokers now, I kind of pity them, you know, when it's cold outside.
Guest:But when it's summertime, I'm like, oh, they're living it.
Guest:They're living the dream.
Marc:I stay on these lozenges, and I don't really think about smoking the actual cigarettes, because to me it's just like fucking death sticks, like just burning my lungs out.
Marc:But when you go out, you fucking go out.
Guest:When I go out, I'm like, this last time over this past summer, when I went out, dude, I was, you know, because it had been almost five years since I had done it, so I wasn't in the e-cig game and all that kind of stuff.
Guest:These were all new, so I was e-cigging, dipping, smoking.
Guest:I never did stogies.
Guest:What's your brand?
Guest:I do Camelites or Marlboro Lights.
Guest:Although when I was a kid, I loved Newports or like Salem Lights.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was in Marlboro Red.
Guest:I never went Marlboro Red.
Marc:Those were a little too.
Marc:I did the mediums for a while.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:They weren't around when I was a kid.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, I was, I remember when Marlboro Lights came out.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Like light cigarettes.
Marc:Like there was only, there was regular cigarettes and Merritt's or True.
Marc:You know, those were the ones and those were awful.
Yeah.
Guest:So you remember when they came out and now they can't even call them lights anymore.
Marc:Well, now there's 90 different types of Marlboros.
Marc:They're just trying to figure out how to keep people smoking those things.
Marc:I eventually switched to Marlboro lights and Camel lights.
Marc:I thought Camel lights were more like Marlboros.
Marc:I tried Winston's.
Marc:I tried Camel Straits.
Marc:I tried Lucky Strikes.
Marc:I've tried Paul Malls, Old Golds, because Tom Waits talked about Old Golds.
Marc:There was a period there in high school where I smoked every fucking cigarette.
Marc:Newports, because somebody, I think Keith Richards mentioned Newports once.
Marc:Marlboro menthols, which were hard to find, which made those cool, because the box was like the red box, but it was green, but you couldn't find them.
Marc:They weren't around much.
Marc:I tried Balkan Sabrini fancy cigarettes, Nat Sherman fancy cigarettes.
Marc:I fucking love cigarettes.
Guest:I even tried those skinny ones.
Guest:I call them the Slim Jim ones or whatever, those lady cigarettes.
Guest:I even tried those.
Guest:Virginia Slims.
Guest:Virginia Slims.
Guest:That's the one.
Marc:There were always dudes that smoked those.
Marc:They were like weird old Southern guys would smoke those things, the long thin ones.
Marc:I never did the holder though, the cigarette holder.
Marc:I tried it, but it was stupid.
Marc:There was some no filter cigarettes where I'm glad I couldn't handle it physically, but they were the best.
Guest:First cigarette I ever smoked was a Camel non-filter.
Marc:Camel non-filters were good, but Lucky's were great.
Marc:Lucky's tastes great.
Marc:There's a sweetness to them.
Marc:They smell good.
Marc:Your eyes are all lit up right up.
Marc:Palmol's not bad.
Marc:The Palmol no-filter, pretty good.
Guest:Pretty good cigarette.
Guest:I think the appeal to the non-filter to me was like, oh, this is like drugs.
Marc:Yeah, it's hardcore.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But it's hard to maintain because you can't smoke as many as you want because they literally hurt you.
Guest:Yeah, and they burn your fucking fingertips.
Marc:Yeah, and you get all brown.
Marc:I've had brown fingers, dude.
Marc:You ever had brown fingers?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, I've never had brown fingers as much as I've had just like totally white gums.
Guest:Which is the scariest moment of my life.
Marc:I just remembered the brown fingers thing.
Marc:How much did I have to fucking smoke?
Guest:A ton.
Marc:Like, I had fucking brown fingers, dude.
Guest:I never got brown fingers.
Guest:I got slightly yellowish, but I never went brown.
Guest:Never went full brown.
Guest:Well, I mean, yeah, but your nicotine stain on your fucking fingers.
Guest:Yeah, the worst.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I remember having that and just being like, I guess I'm, I mean, I would smoke back in half a day at the high point.
Marc:Oh man.
Marc:I hope I'm not dying.
Marc:I smoked a lot of cigarettes, dude.
Marc:We're all dying.
Guest:I know.
Guest:I was fantasizing about a Lucy the other day.
Guest:Like just one of those Lucys.
Guest:What are they?
Guest:Oh, just a loose cigarette.
Guest:One of those ones where you just put it wherever you can find to put it.
Guest:Like I was like, oh man.
Guest:Those places sell them for a nickel.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I got into a- Cigar store?
Marc:So I don't know what- I'll smoke a cigar every once in a while, but I gotta be careful with those too.
Guest:I could never get into them.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I can't help but inhale.
Marc:So you make it through high school.
Guest:I make it through high school.
Guest:Dipping and smoking.
Guest:Dipping and smoking.
Marc:Did you do well in high school?
Guest:I did okay.
Guest:I was like a C. And then did you go to college?
Guest:I never tried.
Guest:I didn't do anything.
Guest:I didn't try.
Guest:Driving around smoking and drinking.
Guest:What about drugs?
Guest:Drugs, I smoked a lot of weed in high school.
Guest:A friend of mine, his dad, we figured out, he figured out his dad grew it on their farm.
Guest:And he had a freezer full of it.
Guest:Of buds?
Guest:And so I smoked weed almost every day from middle of my sophomore year through the end of my high school career.
Guest:I miss weed.
Guest:For free.
Guest:Miss it.
Guest:God damn it.
Guest:We would just have bonfires and just stare at UFOs and shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The first time I ever smoked weed was out of a corncob pipe that I made with a pocket knife and a hollow stick.
Guest:And it was a magical moment in my life.
Guest:And then, unfortunately, the dude's mom figured out that we were smoking her husband, his dad's weed.
Guest:And I remember one night we're at this bonfire, right?
Guest:Just smoking weed, having a good time, listening to Hank Jr.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Having the best time of our life.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:hank jr yeah okay and uh so and all of a sudden his dad shows up with a wheelbarrow just filled with bricks of marijuana and then next you know you see and he's got a look on his face that's like he's gonna kill somebody yeah and then his mom shows up and she goes
Guest:Do it.
Guest:And then he has to dump all of the weed onto the bonfire.
Guest:And that was probably the first time I saw a grown man cry.
Guest:And I was like, I'm never going to see my buddy again.
Marc:What was the point of that?
Guest:She found out that we were smoking it.
Guest:And so she made him burn it all.
Guest:As what?
Guest:An example?
Guest:I guess.
Guest:What a fucked up weird thing to do.
Guest:And so then it was about a month later or maybe a month or two later when he's like, supply's been replenished.
Guest:So he was growing.
Guest:Who, your buddy?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:So then we were back in the game.
Marc:I don't even understand the mental, the logic of that.
Guest:Yeah, I don't know.
Guest:She was also our like kindergarten teacher when we were kids.
Marc:Oh, so it was to, like she was punishing him as an example to you that weed is bad.
Marc:Like she just caught him or something.
Marc:Yeah.
Yeah.
Guest:Look what you did to these kids.
Guest:Now go show them.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Holy fuck.
Guest:These kids believe in magic now.
Guest:You really fucked up.
Guest:How do you feel, Satan?
Guest:Yeah, but it was weird because, you know, I don't know.
Guest:Then when I was about 21, 22, like weed just broke in my brain and just didn't, it wasn't, and then I started having panic and anxiety attacks when I'd get high and it just stopped being fun.
Guest:So I was like, well, the only reason I did it is because it was so much fun.
Guest:Did you move on to other narcotics?
Guest:Not until I was older.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:When I got, when I was like, I don't know, maybe 27, I got into cocaine for a little while.
Guest:Oh, that's later.
Guest:So what happened?
Guest:So did you go to college?
Guest:Went to college, went to Bowling Green State University for about four years, studied theater, dropped out.
Guest:I was like, you know, no one's asking De Niro for his diploma when he's on set.
Guest:But did you do plays and stuff?
Guest:I did like one short, what are they called, one-act plays.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The only reason I studied theater is because I knew I wanted to do stand-up.
Guest:And I was like, I need to get comfortable on stage.
Guest:When did you know that?
Guest:Probably when I was in high school.
Guest:Why?
Guest:Because my family, all the adults, all my aunts and uncles, they'd be laughing their ass off watching Carson.
Guest:And I'm like, oh, I want to make adults laugh.
Guest:That's where the juice is.
Guest:Fuck my friends.
Guest:But if you can make an adult laugh, you're doing something.
Guest:And I was like, so then I realized what stand-up comedy was.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And who were your guys?
Guest:My guys, uh, very early on were, you know, Cosby and, uh, mostly Richard Pryor.
Guest:I loved him and Carlin, but cause I remember the first, the first album I ever heard was himself, which I no longer own, but the, uh, I mean all that.
Guest:So it's just so, so that whole thing is so loaded now.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But then the first album I ever tried to listen to was Is It Something I Said by Pryor.
Guest:Right.
Guest:My dad had the vinyl in his trunk and I was with him and my uncle and they were shopping and they popped the trunk and I grabbed that album because I wanted to listen to it.
Guest:I was just a kid.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Because it just looked cool.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He's like, no, you can't listen.
Guest:Because he's in hell.
Guest:yeah he's like you can't listen to this but you you can listen to this one and he gave me himself instead and the first album that's so funny you can you can listen to the the uh the family friendly black man exactly yeah so then uh the first comedy album cd i ever bought was the is it something i said and now when my dad and i are on lunk if we're on a road trip we'll listen to it oh yeah oh yeah isn't it fun to listen to a comedy record with somebody and especially one that you know where you're both kind of looking at each other oh yeah and you hope it still works oh yeah
Marc:Is this still going to work, that joke, for us?
Marc:Yeah, and that album sure does.
Marc:Oh, yeah, it's great.
Marc:All right, so you drop out of your theater program, and what?
Marc:You go back to Dayton, and you pack your car?
Marc:What happens?
Guest:Yeah, I go to Dayton.
Guest:You don't do any stand-up yet?
Guest:Save up some money.
Guest:I think I did open mic maybe a handful of times.
Guest:Where?
Guest:Three or four times at a club in Dayton called Jokers, which is closed now when a funny bone moved in.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Uh, I did maybe three or four open mics and I was like, I'm ready for the tonight show.
Guest:And you were doing your crazy shit.
Guest:I was just, yeah, I was all over the place.
Guest:I was doing like one of my big bits at the time was I was skull fucking the devil.
Guest:Uh, that was like, you know, it was like, so you'd seen some hicks.
Guest:So yeah.
Guest:Yeah, I was a big Kennison guy too, you know, because of all the religious stuff I could really relate to.
Marc:He's got some great religious stuff.
Guest:Yeah, and so I moved out to LA, you did that thing, got a job at the Ice House, work in the box office.
Guest:You moved to LA in what year?
Guest:Gosh, I think it was like 99.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Must have been 99.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:And I was like, oh, I'm going to be a stand-up now.
Guest:And I was, I don't know, maybe 22 years old, 23 years old at the most.
Guest:Where are you living?
Guest:I was living in Burbank with my buddy.
Guest:The guy whose father ran for judge?
Guest:Yeah, whose dad beat my dad.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:The first time?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:But your dad eventually got elected?
Guest:He eventually got appointed because someone retired.
Guest:So the governor appointed him or whatever.
Marc:So you're with that dude.
Guest:You're both judges' kids.
Guest:Yeah, we're both judges' kids.
Guest:Is he Catholic too?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so we... What's he want to do out here?
Guest:He moved out to be an actor.
Guest:And he had graduated from Bowling Green.
Guest:And how'd he do?
Guest:Is he still out here?
Guest:Yeah, he's still out here.
Guest:Is he working?
Guest:No, I don't think he's doing acting anymore.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:But he stayed out here.
Guest:So I moved out there.
Guest:And then I'm also working at some Scientology title company in Glendale.
Marc:Okay, so you're working the door at the Ice House?
Guest:I'm working the box office.
Guest:okay so you got in with what so i got in and so then uh but i was losing i didn't work there very long because i was losing money working there because i would always try to i'd sneak away from the box office to go try to peek in because like oh arsenio hall showed up to do a drop-in you know what i mean yeah it's a good club yeah and so i would sneak away i'd come back and they had so many different tickets that i would always always fuck it up right so i'd have to go to the atm that's still in the bar there and i'd have to take like 30 bucks every night
Guest:because you fucked up the because i didn't want to get fired because i'd fuck it so i was like losing money working there yeah and it wasn't very long because uh it wasn't shortly after that i just kind of like had a split from i just freaked out and had to melt down and move back what does that mean dude i don't know i was just driving around my car screaming wait so you're doing you're watching comedy you're losing money you're working for the scientologist did they ever come after you
Guest:No.
Guest:How'd you know it was Scientology Front?
Guest:Because a dude, a friend of mine, a guy I made buddies with who was working there, he was like behind me in a cubicle.
Guest:He told me that everybody here's a Scientologist, man.
Guest:And I was like, oh yeah.
Guest:And he's like, oh yeah, you can't talk about it.
Guest:And then one day he's like, I got this book.
Guest:I need to give it to you.
Guest:It's in my trunk, but don't say anything about it.
Guest:I was like, okay, whatever.
Guest:And then like an hour later, this woman who was like the boss, she shows up and I overheard this conversation.
Guest:I can't remember his name.
Guest:I think it was Corey.
Guest:She's like, Corey, we know you have that book.
Guest:Because he had gotten in, but then gotten out somehow, right?
Guest:A Scientologist?
Guest:Yeah, and he started to go into it and then pulled himself out.
Guest:And he's like, I don't know what you're talking about.
Guest:And they're like, she's like, we know you have that book.
Guest:Give it to us or we will come take it from you.
Guest:And he's like, I have no idea what you're talking about, right?
Guest:And then it was the weirdest thing.
Guest:And then we get in an elevator to go to lunch.
Guest:And she hit the up button instead of the down.
Guest:And everybody on the elevator freaked out because she made a mistake, like a mechanical mistake, which she was like advanced enough in Scientology where she wasn't supposed to make those kind of mistakes anymore.
Guest:And everybody just fucking like was freaking out.
Guest:And I'm like, I can't be working.
Guest:This is crazy.
Guest:how were they freaking out like oh they were just like oh my god you you and she goes i don't know how i i don't i've never i don't and they're like what did you do you hit the and i'm like what the fuck she hit the wrong button man i do that shit every day yeah but uh and that was your sign and so i was just kind of like driving around like screaming at myself like what is you know and i kind of had like a mental i don't it was weird man i don't know i was just like super like i was just lost but like what was your head doing
Guest:My head was like filled with anger and it was filled with just confusion.
Guest:I didn't know what I was doing.
Guest:And I was also having like this religious relapse is where it was kind of coming from.
Guest:Like, what is the purpose of my life?
Guest:Existential crisis, I guess, is what you call it.
Marc:So you were mad at yourself that you weren't doing comedy or you were probably that was a big part of it because I wasn't doing stand up.
Marc:And like, you know, being out here without a purpose is horrifying.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Because you know that everything you want to do is in some office somewhere.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:Or on a stage.
Marc:And you just get isolated in this weird way.
Marc:And your brain goes away.
Marc:It happened to me, man.
Guest:But I was on a lot of coke.
Guest:Yeah, I wasn't in that yet.
Guest:I was still drinking.
Guest:I was just drinking every once in a while.
Guest:Were there women involved?
Guest:No, I mean, I was living on a mattress in the corner of the apartment at this point.
Guest:Oh, see, that's the worst.
Guest:With like a tapestry just blocking me off.
Guest:And one of our roommates and her and her boyfriend were always up super late at night smoking weed and watching TV, which was like four feet away from my bed.
Guest:So I never slept because I was working two jobs.
Guest:Sweep deprivation's bad.
Guest:Yeah, I was sleeping.
Marc:sleep deprived.
Marc:It's that classic sort of like LA hopelessness where you've sacrificed all the comforts of life to sort of pursue this vague dream and you're sleeping on a fucking floor.
Guest:Yeah, it was the worst.
Guest:And then one day I just started slowly cracking a little bit, right?
Guest:And then I started having, well, I'm doing the most selfish profession in the world.
Guest:Stand-up comedy.
Guest:It's solitary.
Guest:Are you doing spots?
Guest:No, but I'm saying like in my mind, my dream, right?
Guest:My dream life.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:And I'm like, oh, I'm gonna burn in hell.
Guest:That's like the most selfish thing you can be.
Guest:And so then I go back to Ohio and I just don't leave the house for weeks.
Guest:I'm totally just locked into this religious.
Guest:Beating the shit out of yourself.
Guest:Yeah, and I'm like, oh my God, I'm gonna burn in hell.
Guest:I need to get my life back.
Marc:Did you seek your grandmother for counsel?
Guest:No, I didn't.
Guest:I didn't seek anybody for counsel.
Guest:Did you go to church?
Guest:I started going to church.
Guest:Oh, boy.
Guest:But I couldn't get away from stand-up, so I got a job waiting tables at a club.
Guest:Which one, Jokers?
Guest:Jokers.
Guest:Because even though I was like, I'm not doing this, subconsciously my brain was like,
Guest:you're not getting away from this but you're like it's like almost that weird self-flagellation thing like you felt like you deserved to be punished sure and that's that catholic thing yeah and uh so i go back to school and i'm studying social work so you can do the right thing yeah right i'm doing the right thing and then after about like a semester or a couple quarters of social work i'm like oh man i'm gonna make thirty thousand dollars a year and i'm not even gonna like this job right
Guest:No.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so then I transitioned into creative writing and ended up graduating like two years after that.
Marc:Creative writing degree?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Liberal arts degree?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:And then started doing stand-up again after that.
Guest:How long did it take for the shit to simmer down?
Guest:Oh, like the religious thing and all that kind of stuff?
Guest:Well, what happened, it came to a head at some point where I remember one time I'm laying in bed and a car drove down the street.
Guest:I was living at my dad's house in a guest room, and the headlights went through the leaves, and they cascaded across the wall.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I thought that they were like the demons, you know, in the movie ghost, when the demons come up and take the bad guy and suck them down through the street or whatever.
Guest:I don't remember that, but I was like, oh, and then I felt my body getting sucked down through the mattress.
Guest:Maybe it was sleep paralysis.
Guest:I'm not exactly sure, but, and I'm like, and then I come out of that and I'm like, what the fuck is going down?
Guest:Like religion's supposed to be like a puppy.
Guest:It's like a dog or something.
Guest:It's supposed to make your life better and not trap you and be a prisoner to it.
Guest:So then I drove to the highest point in town.
Guest:So hack, right?
Guest:And a cliche and I challenged God.
Guest:Out loud?
Guest:Yeah, all out loud.
Guest:I'm throwing rocks at this guy even.
Guest:What are you saying?
Guest:I'm saying, if you exist, show me a sign you exist.
Guest:Show me, I don't believe you exist.
Guest:This is your bullshit, show me a sign.
Guest:And then I had this moment where I'm like, oh man, this is like so, this is so hacky, like what I'm doing.
Guest:i'm like everybody challenges god and then i had this moment where i'm like biblical you're on a mountain you're still hung up with mountains yeah and so then but in my mind at the time it's a stand-up comedy part of my brain yeah that was like you know what's not hacky selling your soul to the devil
Guest:Well, it's not as hacky anyway.
Guest:Nobody does that.
Guest:Not anymore.
Guest:It's not as popular.
Guest:Yeah, so I made a deal with the devil.
Guest:On the mountain.
Guest:I said, if you are real, you will show yourself to me.
Guest:You can have me.
Guest:The devil.
Guest:You give me everything I want, right?
Guest:Because here was my brain.
Guest:My logic was like, you know what?
Guest:If the devil exists, that means by default God exists.
Guest:So A equals B equals C. Someone tricked the devil into proving to me that God is real.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And even though the devil knows I'm doing that, the devil is cocky enough to think, well, it doesn't matter.
Guest:And you are strong enough in your will.
Guest:Of course, right?
Guest:And I do get everything I want to this day, but it just takes a long time.
Marc:But did the devil reveal himself?
Guest:No.
Guest:Oh, so no one showed up.
Guest:Yeah, I mean, up until six months ago, I was driving a 99 Camry.
Guest:I don't know, do you think the devil's real?
No.
Guest:I still got three roommates.
Marc:He might be very real.
Marc:Maybe you missed when he gave you everything.
Marc:There was a day there.
Marc:And maybe it's conditional.
Guest:So after that happened, man, after I sold my soul to the devil, life's been good.
Guest:And I got back on the... It doesn't sound like you owe him much.
Guest:No, I sure don't.
Marc:Maybe he hasn't delivered yet.
Guest:Yeah, maybe it's a tough economy for the devil.
Marc:Maybe it's time to go back up on the mountain and say, like, I thought we had a deal.
Guest:Maybe that's why I go up there every day.
Marc:What happened to the deal?
Guest:What happened to the deal, man?
Guest:oh god so that all simmered down and then eventually you know i started doing stand-up all the time and then it was like one of those things too where uh i was like you know what i quit doing this once yeah now i'm never now now it's like i'm not quitting until i'm dead right it was like one of those like i get i make ultimatums too many too much myself like but that's one you've stuck with that's one i've definitely stuck with yeah
Marc:Because, all right, so, well, I guess that's the devil working through you.
Marc:You've made a commitment.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:He's given you everything you want.
Marc:And now there's no way out.
Guest:No way out.
Marc:No way out.
Marc:There isn't, dude.
Marc:There really isn't.
Marc:And thank God.
Marc:I know that personally.
Marc:Like, when it all goes away...
Marc:But I think that there's probably an opportunity for you being a lapsed believer in for reals that, you know, if it ever all goes away, you'll just go like, all right, Jesus.
Marc:Okay, here we go, Jesus.
Guest:These crystals aren't working anymore.
Marc:I get it.
Guest:I mean, I got Tiger's Eye in my pocket.
Guest:This is supposed to give me money.
Guest:I guess I'll pray to Jesus instead.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Finally, I came around to Jesus.
Marc:But, you know, so what were your models like when you were working?
Marc:So you started, because you're a big road dog now, and you do a lot of those rooms, and you're headlining now, and what, this is your third record they just put out?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:What's that one called again?
Marc:Immortal for Now.
Yeah.
Marc:Immortal for now.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:And you did the picture on the back.
Marc:In Joshua Tree.
Marc:In Joshua Tree with no Joshua Tree.
Marc:With no Joshua Tree.
Marc:Was I the first guy to say that to you?
Marc:You're like, I went to Joshua Tree.
Guest:It was so funny because it was like two days after I showed you the photo too.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was like, how long have you been thinking about this?
Marc:Has this been bothering you?
Marc:I was like, you went to Joshua Tree for the moment, for the spiritual juice.
Marc:Not one Joshua Tree in the fucking picture.
Guest:Yeah, it just worked out that way.
Guest:I think that was the best photo we just randomly took.
Guest:Because it wasn't like a photo shoot.
Guest:It was just me and my buddy Brooks, and we were just kind of walking around exploring.
Marc:Okay, I get it.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So we're all just supposed to know it was Joshua Tree?
Guest:No, I mean, it doesn't really matter.
Guest:Okay, it doesn't matter to you.
Guest:Well, I mean, it's cool to me to know that it was taken in Joshua Tree, just because, you know, Joshua Tree is kind of loaded with all that mythology from the past.
Marc:So now, as I know you, you've gone through different manifestations of, you've done the three CDs, you've done your crazy web series, you know, you've been in and out of relationships with kooky girls.
Marc:You don't seem to be, the drugs seem to be behind you.
Marc:What the hell is that period?
Marc:How long did that go on for?
Guest:That probably went around for about three years.
Guest:I mean, I don't think I ever hit a true rock bottom with the drugs.
Guest:I'll never forget it.
Guest:Like, one of my first feature weekends ever, which was a big week for me, was Geraldo was headlining.
Guest:And I got the week to be a feature act at Go Bananas in Cincinnati.
Guest:And I was so excited about it.
Guest:And we were in the green room just talking about, like...
Guest:things great guy and I was like oh yeah I used to you know do a bunch of coke and me and my buddies would just do coke and play speed chess yeah you know because you get 30 seconds to make a move yeah I'll never forget a draw was just sitting in the room he looks at me he goes
Guest:yeah sounds like a real rock bottom i was like i was like yeah i'm a little beyond my scope here i think and um so i uh so i never really i think two weeks did he get you did you some blow with geralda no he didn't no he was uh he's in a clean period he was in a clean period as far as i can tell i mean what a great week though
Marc:He was great.
Marc:He was great.
Marc:Who else did you feature for that blew your mind, that made you go like, I got work to do?
Guest:Oh, man.
Guest:There's been a lot of people that have really made me feel like I got a lot of work to do.
Guest:Geraldo was one of them for sure, because I went back and listened to those tapes, and I was just like, oh, my God, how did he put up with me opening for him?
Guest:If I was him, I would have been like, get this fucking kid.
Guest:My opening joke at the time was, hey, you don't know who I am, and thank God you don't, because if I was famous, I'd be a goddamn monster.
Guest:I was like, okay, this is how the next 30 minutes is going to go.
Guest:Defying them to like you.
Guest:So Ron Shock was a guy when I was younger.
Guest:I remember he would come through Wiley's, his comedy club in Dayton about twice a year.
Guest:And oh man, he was so goddamn good.
Guest:And I remember one time he just murdered and he comes off stage and I'd hung out.
Guest:I was a wallflower there.
Guest:I was just there all the time.
Guest:And he just looks at me, he comes off stage after just murdering for like an hour and 15 minutes.
Guest:He goes, Ryan, that's how you do standup comedy.
Yeah.
Guest:And then walks off, and I was like, you know what, Ron?
Guest:I'm not hanging out tonight.
Guest:I'm going to go home and write.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was like 1 o'clock on a Saturday, and I'm going to go home and write.
Marc:He had such a slow groove, too, you know?
Guest:And there was a guy named John Caponero.
Guest:I know him.
Guest:You know John?
Guest:John Caponera.
Guest:Caponera.
Guest:He's a great comic.
Guest:Yeah, the first time I saw him, I was like, oh, you can level your jokes.
Guest:You can have multiple levels to these jokes.
Guest:A joke doesn't have to just stop.
Guest:And he had a lot of juice too, a lot of energy.
Guest:Yeah, he was great.
Guest:Because I remember all those guys would come through.
Guest:Wiley's, like Ken Rodgersen would come through.
Guest:Kenny Rodgersen the best.
Guest:So funny.
Guest:So funny.
Marc:His jokes are so good.
Guest:Yeah, and then Go Bananas, I saw Stan Hope, who just blew me away.
Guest:And then all those, not all of, and I saw Hedberg, because he would come through Jokers.
Guest:She would bring him through here.
Marc:Well, that's a great privilege when you sort of abide by the sort of system to live it.
Marc:I spent my life sitting around comedy clubs, even when you're not on.
Marc:You're just sitting there chomping at the bit.
Marc:When I worked at the store with them back in Boston at Catch a Rising Star, you just go every night and just watch this shit.
Marc:It's interesting the guys you chose because those are all fucking solid for a lot of different reasons.
Marc:You know, there's some real vision to all of them.
Marc:And I guess, you know, over the years you realize that you could do exactly what you want to do.
Marc:Just got to make it work.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:You don't have to abide by the audience because none of those guys really do.
Marc:Campanero is a mainstream act, but, you know, he was his own thing.
Marc:I haven't seen them in a long time.
Guest:Yeah, I mean, I haven't either.
Guest:But I think I reached a level at some point where I learned, you know what, you've got to learn some jokes.
Guest:You've got to learn how to write a joke.
Guest:Yeah, I know.
Marc:It took me a long time to learn that.
Marc:I knew that they were there.
Marc:I always knew I had to do jokes, but it's like, how do you do them for the ones that you make your own?
Guest:exactly how's that fucking happen the first time i ever got a week the first week i ever got was featuring was just a thursday and a sunday featuring and i was like you know what i knew it i knew i was gonna skip the mc spot yeah this kid's got it yeah you know this is after five years of not getting a fucking bone thrown his way right yeah and i'm like i got it and bobcat goldthwaite was uh headlining uh wiley's comedy club yeah and uh but they didn't even have me mc friday and saturday they didn't even trust me to mc
Guest:Right.
Guest:So they threw me up on Thursday and Sunday to feature.
Guest:I was like, oh, OK, my career.
Guest:Here we go.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, yeah.
Guest:Tonight show.
Guest:Here we come.
Guest:And then I didn't get another MC week from that club or at work from that club again for years.
Guest:And then I think slowly but surely I started working the other club in town.
Guest:What happened?
Guest:Well, I was just a feature spot out of nowhere.
Guest:I think the manager of the club really liked me.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And thought I had potential.
Guest:Convinced the owner of the club to give it to me.
Marc:so then it was i i started challenged myself to try to write some clean jokes yeah just so i could emcee and learn how to do that and then eventually uh started getting work that way well you're very compelled now i mean like you know i talked to you you know you're different levels of enlightenment you're different uh stages of not doing things or doing things uh you've got yourself into minor trouble here and there i'm very i fly by the seat of my pants maybe a little too much but uh but you do have a system what's the system these days
Guest:The system is, you know, I try to lock in, do work every day, try to keep myself motivated.
Guest:I got to hit the mountain.
Guest:You got to hit the mountain.
Guest:I got to hit the mountain.
Guest:What does that mean for those of us?
Guest:Go hiking.
Guest:Just get outside.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Just get outside and go get away from everything.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And just dump all that bullshit out.
Guest:Do you meditate?
Guest:I try to meditate on the mountain now.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:What, do you sit down?
Guest:I just sit down and I just kind of stare at a tree.
Guest:Do you have crystals on you now?
Guest:I do have crystals on me now.
Guest:Can I see?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I have...
Guest:I have just Tiger's Eye, and I just got some.
Guest:Chris Garcia, your friend of mine, just the other night gave me a bunch of crystals as gifts.
Guest:We were doing a three-year anniversary show of the show we do Underbelly.
Guest:This is Tiger's Eye.
Guest:That's supposed to help you get money or something.
Guest:And this is, oh shit, how did I forget what this one was already?
Guest:Oh, that's Apache.
Guest:Is that Apache Tears?
Marc:You asking me?
Marc:It looks like it, yes.
Guest:Yeah, and that's supposed to, I think, bring balance between extremes.
Guest:So I was like, oh, that'd be a good one to have because sometimes I feel like you and I have that kind of relationship where I'm a little too overly optimistic sometimes and you can be a little bit more skeptical.
Guest:So we kind of have a balance.
Marc:Yeah, there's a balance, but I think that, like I've grown to learn about you is that you're kind of painfully optimistic just because at any given point you could be sucked into a dark hole of fucking nothingness.
Marc:Over breakfast if you're not careful.
Guest:Yeah, sure.
Guest:And I mean, I also have the Circle of Solomon around my neck.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Which is supposed to protect you from the gin.
Guest:From the gym?
Guest:The gin, which is the D-J-I-N-N, which are like the shape-shifting shadow people, tricksters of the night.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:There's this book I was reading on him, and while I was reading the book, I was getting- You mean comics?
Guest:Admittedly scared.
Yeah.
Marc:You mean all of our peers?
Marc:They can protect you from the show business?
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:That's the one that'll keep you out of work.
Guest:good job on misinterpreting the jinn yeah yeah that's that's where you're in the that's the business and there is i i get the fact too like part of me really loves when there's like stigma attached to something uh that might be because you never know there's a lot of loaded things i get into like as far as one like the paranormal and all that kind of mystical stuff and i do get that a lot of it's fanciful and i remember one time i was hiking and i was just at the top of this hill in town i'm looking at like there was a
Guest:a couple helicopters flying around, planes were ascending and some were landing.
Guest:And I remember thinking to myself, oh man, you know, 100,000 years ago, there might have been a human being ancestor just sitting here wondering what all this could turn into someday.
Guest:And I remember even, I remember saying out loud just to myself like, okay,
Guest:there's a limit to how much whimsy you can have at some point without just floating off the globe.
Guest:So I do try to find, it is important for me to get grounded in reality at times.
Guest:Do you do that?
Guest:I think you can't avoid it.
Guest:No, you can't avoid it.
Guest:I mean, because life... Unless you're nuts.
Marc:But I think what I see with you, and I think, because I've gone through my own crystal periods and conspiracy periods, is that you make choices to...
Marc:You have some control if you're not out of your mind and you don't let yourself get out of your mind over the context of your perception.
Marc:Do you know what I mean?
Marc:It's like, are there UFOs?
Marc:I'm going to choose to say no.
Marc:Because I don't have time.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's like, what can you fit?
Guest:What can you fit into your mind?
Marc:There might be, you know, it's fine.
Marc:But like, let someone else do that research and I'll be pleasantly surprised or terrified when they show up.
Marc:But I'm not going to spend my life.
Marc:I would be terrified.
Marc:Okay, fine.
Marc:I know you've put thought into it.
Marc:You said that with some earnestness and you do.
Marc:No, but like, but I think that one thing, you know, from talking to you that we know is that, you know, you were wired with the ability to believe.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Oh, I got that blueprint, man.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Yeah, that mystical, crazy blueprint.
Guest:And it's like, so it's easy for me to latch on to this other world.
Guest:Right, but don't lose your mind.
Guest:Oh, no.
Marc:No, I believe that it's more fun to believe.
Marc:I will share with you the quote from Tom McGuane that I share occasionally.
Marc:The mind is not a boomerang.
Marc:If you throw it too far, it will not come back.
Marc:Yeah, I do worry about that.
Guest:Well, you should, you fuck.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I think I got a decent grasp on the idea that you can only go so far with certain things.
Guest:I do like pushing to edges.
Guest:What's this podcast you do?
Guest:It's called Me and Paranormal You.
Guest:And how often do you put it up?
Guest:I put it up twice a week.
Guest:really yeah i do uh on tuesdays i do like a half hour uh i call it a third year bonus uh-huh where it's just me doing research on a subject that comes up a bunch uh-huh uh for example i just put one up on uh the do easy method i don't know if you've ever heard that william s burroughs wrote a uh an essay on it it's allegedly it's tied into magic he was like a practitioner of chaos magic yeah and i should know that i'm a big bill burroughs guy but you're teaching me something i probably have the fucking essay
Guest:Yeah, Gus Van Sant made a short film based on it when he was just out of film school.
Marc:Oh, I got to check that out.
Guest:Yeah, it's pretty fascinating.
Marc:So that's Tuesday?
Guest:Yeah, so that was like something Tuesday.
Guest:And then on Fridays, I do the full-length interviews with people who have paranormal abilities or experiences.
Guest:like i uh talked to a woman who was a medium you know that's what her profession is i was past life hypnotized on one there was one i uh recorded myself with uh shane moss uh we did a three-parter where we did dmt together yeah oh really how was that that was crazy so when you go up to the farm and you hang out with the cows occasionally does that ground you
Guest:Yeah, it is pretty cool, man.
Guest:Like there's something very peaceful about just kind of being back in nature and not being surrounded by like, you know, Twitter and Facebook and all that shit.
Guest:All right.
Guest:Well, don't get lost, dude.
Guest:No, you know, I'm, I think I'm, uh, you know, I think I'm on the right path.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:My car has got the right.
Guest:Oh yeah.
Guest:I say it's the shit out of that car too.
Guest:We didn't need it.
Guest:That car's a practical car.
Guest:Oh, yeah, it's practical.
Guest:But, I mean, there was a lot of energy in there.
Guest:There was a lot of, like, slamming it in reverse up a half a mile up a hill screaming what the fuck.
Guest:All right, all right.
Guest:So we, you know.
Guest:It's been through some shit.
Guest:Not too bad.
Guest:That car's been great so far.
Guest:Has it?
Guest:Oh, yeah, I'm taking it on a big trip here in about a week.
Guest:Yeah, it's good, man.
Guest:They're good cars.
Guest:I love you, man.
Marc:Love you too, buddy.
Marc:Thanks for talking.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That's me and Ryan Singer again tonight.
Marc:Ryan Singer is at Doc's Lab in San Francisco.
Marc:You can get his new CD, Immortal for Now, wherever you get CDs.
Marc:A funny, odd, sensitive man, that Ryan Singer.
Marc:He's a thinker.
Marc:All right, so go to WTFPod.com soon.
Marc:Soon everything's going to be different.
Marc:Everything's going to be different.
Marc:Get some justcoffee.coop.
Marc:Get on the mailing list.
Marc:Order some posters.
Marc:Do what you want.
Marc:Leave a message.
Marc:Yeah, email me through there.
Marc:Hold on.
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do do
Marc:Boomer Lives!