Episode 687 - Bonnie McFarlane
Marc:All right, let's do this.
Marc:How are you?
Marc:What the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fucking ears?
Marc:Welcome to the show.
Marc:I'm Mark Maron.
Marc:This is WTF, the podcast.
Marc:How's it going?
Marc:Hope everything's well.
Marc:Happy Monday to you.
Marc:If you're listening to this on the day, it is discharged, dispatched, posted, put up.
Marc:If it's entering your head on this Monday morning, I hope it's going okay.
Marc:It might not, but we're built to deal with it.
Marc:I hope in your life that the possibilities for disappointment are relatively...
Marc:manageable and that if you're living in a sort of ongoing hum of mild disappointment maybe you should figure out what's the fuel of that energy what's fuel in that engine that's what I'm because I was watching last night I was sitting in a living room with about 35 people watching Jeff Tweedy play acoustic guitar and I was thinking about forgiveness in general maybe I'll get back around to that
Marc:Today on the show, Bonnie McFarlane joins us.
Marc:That's right, the Bonnie McFarlane.
Marc:Rich Voss' wife, comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
Marc:I say that to you because you can listen to me talk to Rich Voss, all right?
Marc:That was episode 616, and you can get that on Howl Premium at howl.fm.
Marc:He's a great guy.
Marc:despite how much bonnie and i bust his balls he can take it there's a mutual ball busting i didn't start it uh bonnie's got a new book out i'll tell you about that in a minute let me get back to why i saw jeff tweede in a living room anyone interested in that anybody anybody interested in that i'm not bragging this isn't a humble brag i was invited to a party at my friend jeff olrich's house jeff olrich
Marc:is one of the great innovators and creators in the world of podcasting.
Marc:He and Scott Ackerman created the Earwolf Network.
Marc:And then under Jeff, we get mid-roll.
Marc:We get Howl.fm.
Marc:He created all that stuff.
Marc:He's a very important guy in the podcast world, and he has since sold his interests in all of those ventures and is now heading off into the wilderness to do some other exciting thing that does good in the world.
Marc:I believe he's from Chicago, and he was at a Chicago charity event, and one of the things offered is a private living room concert with Jeff Tweedy.
Marc:And he got it.
Marc:I guess it was the first time they'd ever done one out of Chicago.
Marc:So Jeff Tweedy came to Los Angeles.
Marc:We had a nice vegan food.
Marc:It was a non-alcoholic event.
Marc:It was a small, he could only invite like 30 or 35 people.
Marc:And the deal was Jeff Tweedy comes and he plays 30 songs on his acoustic guitar.
Marc:And you have dinner and you sit in the living room and watch Jeff Tweedy play.
Marc:It was unbelievable.
Marc:How does that happen?
Marc:And it goes to a good cause.
Marc:Now, look, it's not that I'm not a fan of Wilco.
Marc:I love Wilco, but I'm old enough to have loved Uncle Tupelo.
Marc:Because there was a guy, the guy who works for me sometimes, Frank Capello was there, and he's like, you Wilco fan?
Marc:I'm like, I was a big Uncle Tupelo fan.
Marc:He was like, who?
Marc:And I'm like, really?
Marc:I was one of the people that after Uncle Tupelo, Uncle Tupelo broke up, I was like, now we gotta pick sides?
Marc:Now it's either Sunvault or Wilco?
Marc:So I went with Sunvolt for a couple records and I came back around for a few Wilco records, but I haven't listened all the way through.
Marc:But nonetheless, Anodyne and No Depression and all the Uncle Tupelo stuff was pretty important to me.
Marc:But so there we were in this living room and there's Jeff Tweedy.
Marc:And he played 30 Wilco songs.
Marc:And some of the ones that really affected me were songs I'd never heard before.
Marc:Hate It Here, he played acoustic.
Marc:A lot of the songs that he played acoustic, you'd never heard acoustic.
Marc:And he was very self-effacing and very funny.
Marc:And it was an amazing night.
Marc:That's all I have to say is that there was a moment there where I was watching him.
Marc:We can't be that much.
Marc:There can't be that big of an age difference between us.
Marc:And it was like, this guy's a professional, and he's playing all these songs acoustic, and he's a beautiful guitar player, and he knows how to do this stuff.
Marc:There was a couple of songs that he hadn't played in a long time, so he had to find his way through them.
Marc:But it's just amazing watching someone of my generation
Marc:who has been at it for as long as I have, working, whatever it is they do, and now we're sort of middle-aged guys that know how to do what we do and do it well.
Marc:And I was like, there was that, the part of me that's like, this is beautiful, this is an amazing song, and wow, this is really an amazing event.
Marc:And there was another part of me that's sort of like, he's a pro, we've paid our dues, and it's great to be in the hands of a professional.
Marc:Some gravitas there.
Marc:All right, so here's the deal.
Marc:I'm moving into my office, which is, you know, don't go crazy.
Marc:It's not like it's in a high-rise or something.
Marc:It's in a two-story building here in Highland Park just so I have a place to work.
Marc:So my living room and my dining room doesn't look like a clearinghouse for books and records and random pieces of paper.
Marc:I just want another space so when I get done shooting my show and I want to start thinking about what I'm going to do next, I can sit in a space and think.
Marc:And work.
Marc:That's my plan.
Marc:It didn't work out when I bought a bike for similar reasons.
Marc:That bike sits just beside my garage here.
Marc:Just sits there.
Marc:It's now just a rusting...
Marc:guilt machine, just sort of like, hey, remember?
Marc:Nah, yeah, I do remember.
Marc:It was stupid.
Marc:You're the wrong kind of bike.
Marc:I didn't realize how hard the hill would be.
Marc:Yeah, but we're here.
Marc:I'm like, I know, I know.
Marc:I even bought baskets, little baskets for the sides of the bike.
Marc:I had this image of myself, you know, riding through my neighborhood, picking up, you know, maybe a carton of milk and some phonograph records and perhaps some small grocery shopping and packing them into the little pouches on the back of my bicycle and riding around and doing that, just getting healthy that way.
Marc:just riding around the neighborhood, waving at people with my products in my saddlebags on the back of my little bike.
Marc:And I took that bike out twice, and I tried to ride up my hill twice.
Marc:And that was the end of the fantasy of waving Mark, pouches filled, smiling as he rode his bike through Highland Park.
Marc:That is a story that never happened.
Marc:But I do have the evidence of the intent rusting next to the garage.
Marc:So buzzing.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So I'm moving in this office and I got this old receiver and I'm picking up some major interference only on the phono channel.
Marc:I guess I'm reaching out to just nerds who understand this stuff.
Marc:OK, picture me.
Marc:I'm excited.
Marc:Yeah, I'm excited.
Marc:I got this new space.
Marc:I'm going to buy a console to put records that come into me.
Marc:so I can process them at the office and listen to them in the office.
Marc:So I've got this old turntable.
Marc:I bought this old receiver, and I got this nice new console.
Marc:I'm going to set it up in my office with these speakers I got.
Marc:It's all hooked up.
Marc:I can't wait to hear it.
Marc:Oh, man, the radio sounds great.
Marc:I'm going to put a record on.
Marc:What's that sound?
Marc:Wait, why is it?
Marc:God damn it, man.
Marc:Why can't I just fucking be lucky and get something that works right away?
Marc:Okay.
Marc:shit god damn it this fucking thing's broken must be because i drove it home in the car and it rattled or something then i went and got my other receiver another old piece of shit receiver to see if it did the same thing in my office all right that radio sounds good put it on phono all right so it's not the new old receiver i bought it's some other thing let's chase this fucking thing down maybe i can solve it go online see how hey how do i get the buzz out of the phono channel i don't know well here's some ideas
Marc:ferrite, no choke, clip-on, loop things.
Marc:All right, let's do that.
Marc:Plug it all in, man.
Marc:This has got to work.
Marc:All right, radio sounds good.
Marc:Phono.
Marc:God damn it.
Marc:I've done everything I know how to do and what the internet told me.
Marc:Now what?
Marc:Call the landlord.
Marc:Oh, yeah, the AT&T people were here for a long time and they put the antennas right on top of where your office is.
Marc:So I'm never going to be able to play records?
Marc:Is there another way?
Marc:Is there another way?
Marc:I'm obsessed.
Marc:Like this is the most important part of my office is my ability to play records that are sent to me by you people.
Marc:And so I can have that other space to do that in.
Marc:How do I get that fucking buzz out of my head, out of my life, out of my mind?
Marc:Took months to chase a buzz down in the goddamn tube amp that I have for the guitar.
Marc:Maybe I shouldn't buy old shit.
Marc:Maybe this quest for authenticity through nostalgia and aging artifacts.
Marc:with expectations that I can time travel through those artifacts is maybe a fucking dream.
Marc:Maybe there's a reason why things were made more efficient and better over time.
Marc:I just wish they weren't, they were made to last forever.
Marc:So now all these things that last, that have a specific feel and vibe to them, are a little... They're tired.
Marc:They're old.
Marc:They've run current through them for a long time.
Marc:They were expecting just to rest in the back of a sad store that will eventually close and then find a home on a goodwill shelf where no one will buy it and eventually end up relaxing in a landfill in
Marc:covered with meat products and other detritus.
Marc:But secretly always able to pick up the buzz of the future.
Marc:Will Improvise Poetry by me, Marc Maron.
Marc:But in all honesty, if you do know how I can stop the noise that isn't some of the suggestions I've told you, ferrite rings and plugging all the other RCA holes,
Marc:Because it is generating.
Marc:It is coming.
Marc:The receiver is picking it up.
Marc:It's the receiver and the RCA output holes.
Marc:Help me out, nerds.
Marc:Help me out.
Marc:Did I mention that last week I worked with the talented and amazingly professional Ron Perlman and the incredibly gregarious and entertaining MC Ganey on my IFC show?
Marc:Anna Conkle is back as well.
Marc:She's great.
Marc:amazing actress my man working with gainy i don't know if you know gainy go ahead and wiki him go ahead and look up mc gainy usually plays a heavy or a crazy um and uh you he was also the funny thing is is that i didn't realize this until you know we'd hired him to play this part but he was the naked guy in sideways
Marc:The naked guy.
Marc:He's done quite a bit.
Marc:Quite a bit.
Marc:You recognize him.
Marc:But it was a blast working with those two.
Marc:With Ron Perlman.
Marc:You know from Sons of Anarchy and Beauty and the Beast and movies.
Marc:You know him.
Marc:Hellboy.
Marc:And Anna.
Marc:It was great.
Marc:Okay, so that's going well.
Marc:So Bonnie McFarlane, folks.
Marc:is a great comic i've known her a long time she's a good person she's got a book out um you're better than me is available now she also hosts the podcast my wife hates me with her husband rich voss and her documentary women aren't funny is available on netflix and uh don't get too weirded out because we bust on rich voss a little bit it was all in good fun and we know and love rich a long time so this is me and bonnie mcfarland
Marc:You know how to do this.
Marc:You have a podcast.
Guest:I have a podcast?
Guest:I have a radio show?
Marc:All right.
Marc:I'm killing it.
Marc:Already with the plugs?
Marc:Right out of the gate?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I'm married to Rich Voss.
Marc:Oh, now you're going back down this way.
Marc:That started off strong.
Guest:I mean, I thought he would be dead by now, but we're still doing it.
Marc:That was the bet?
Guest:I said this guy doesn't have more than four and a half years.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I like Rich.
Marc:He was in here.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:No, he talks about it a lot.
Marc:He talks about this a lot?
Guest:Well, he was the best one you've ever had.
Guest:I think his was the best podcast.
Marc:That I've ever done?
Guest:Yes, that you've ever done.
Marc:Really?
Guest:I mean, he made a list of people and put himself at the top.
Marc:Oh, did he?
Marc:Me, Rich Voss, Obama.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:And then... Obama might have been third or fourth.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Guest:You know, it's like what porn stars are like.
Guest:They always say how they have the best job.
Marc:Who?
Marc:Porn stars?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And I feel like they always say that because people were like, you're not going to go into porn, are you?
Guest:People tell you, don't do it.
Guest:Then they realize, oh, now I got to just keep this up for the rest of my life.
Guest:Like, no, I made the right decision.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Having a hard time getting work at 50, but I'm making the right decision.
Guest:It was great.
Guest:That's how it is with me marrying rich.
Marc:Come on.
Marc:It's too late to say I made a mistake.
Marc:No one ever thought that you marrying rich was anything but a nice gesture on your part.
Guest:I'm a good person.
Guest:Help that guy.
Marc:But you, I didn't watch your doc.
Marc:I remember it came out, but maybe I watched part of it.
Guest:Don't say that.
Marc:What do you mean?
Guest:Because that's like the worst.
Marc:It is?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:I could only get through about 20 minutes.
Marc:No, no, no, no, no.
Marc:The truth of the matter is it's a time thing.
Marc:It's not a matter of, you know, like I'm a busy person, but I know that it was well received and it was a good thing.
Marc:And what was it called?
Marc:Women aren't funny.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:What was the incentive?
Guest:um well i've always believed that women aren't funny and i set out to prove it no i had a baby and i couldn't go on you know after two years you have to start paying for a flight for your child so i'd been taking her with me and then um you know financially yeah wasn't working out so on the road you mean yes yeah they're like a potato when they're little you just take them around yeah yeah put her in my pocket wrap them up yeah strap them on did you have one of those weird bundley things that
Guest:No, I never did that.
Marc:What are they called?
Marc:Bjorns or something?
Marc:Is that what they're called?
Marc:Baby Bjorns.
Marc:Okay, so you gotta pay for the kid now.
Guest:So then I decided I have to do something creative while staying at home.
Guest:And so I pitched this movie idea to Rich because I felt like it was something people would talk about and I could be funny with.
Guest:He immediately was like, yes, how, what about where do I go?
Marc:How can I be in it?
Marc:With a lot more lisping.
Guest:Yes, he spit on me.
Guest:No, and then he immediately took control and started setting up interviews and he got all the, you know, all the big people that you see in the movie.
Guest:That's pretty much.
Marc:What did you learn during that process?
Marc:I mean, was it really a reaction to this idea, that trope of men saying women can't be funny?
Guest:No, because I never really bought into that.
Guest:I never really thought that was true.
Guest:I mean, of course, I heard it from Guy Comics, but I thought they were just busting balls.
Marc:Right.
Guest:We're all looking for your weakness and trying to, you know.
Guest:But then there was a moment in the documentary where I was like, like when I was talking to club owners, that's when I started being like, oh, geez.
Marc:Right.
Marc:It's real.
Guest:They really think this.
Marc:It's institutional.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And can you get it on Netflix?
Yeah.
Guest:You can get it on Netflix and you can download it on iTunes.
Marc:And how much rich is there in that movie?
Guest:There's a lot of rich in that movie.
Guest:He paid for it.
Guest:He paid for my big feminist movie.
Marc:Did you guys make it back?
Guest:Yes, yes.
Marc:Great.
Guest:Yeah, we did fine.
Marc:Because I know that's a concern of riches at all times.
Guest:Yes, yes.
Guest:Since I've been married, I've not ever been allowed to have my own soda when we're out for dinner.
Guest:But...
Marc:he wants to bring soda into restaurants all the time oh that's a that's a weird well that's like you know it's such you don't want to that doesn't make it good for jews when he does things like that i know but and then he says i'm anti-semitic because i'm constantly like stop chewing yeah yeah does he bring popcorn to the movies
Guest:um yes oh no he doesn't does he we he we i have my purse is like if they ever start a policy where they open up people oh god it will be so embarrassing and he thinks he's beating the system right yes the first time i ever went to a movie with him he smoked in the movie theater because he still smoked back then yeah but just that what but he knew he'd be shut down was he trying to impress you just take two drags and then somebody would come in and look around and
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:Not see it.
Marc:What a pain in the ass.
Guest:And I said, I'm in love.
Marc:Oh, God.
Guest:Well, that's... You know what made me fall in love with him?
Guest:It was one time when we were first out.
Guest:We were having sushi, and he said to me that he was a genius.
Guest:And he said... He was really talking about himself as a genius.
Marc:Wait, is this Rich Voss?
Guest:Yes.
Okay.
Marc:Okay, go ahead.
Marc:I just want to make sure I know you're talking.
Guest:I never heard anyone talk about themselves like that before.
Marc:How did he support that statement?
Guest:He was saying that when he's on the road, it's just magic and no one ever gets to see it.
Marc:Right, because he just can't do it in the city in a short set.
Marc:In an hour, you can see what a genius I am.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:And did you go on the road with him shortly thereafter and be like, oh my God, he is a genius.
Marc:Yes.
Guest:Well, yes, and he would always want me to come watch his set, but I would only go watch his set if he did crowd work, because he really is a genius when he does crowd work.
Marc:Yeah, right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Okay, so this is interesting.
Marc:I'd like to try to break you away from this rich obsession.
Guest:No, I don't want to talk about him anymore.
Marc:No, you can talk about him.
Marc:I like him.
Marc:I think he's a very sweet guy.
Marc:We had a good conversation.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:He's like a decent guy.
Guest:He's all right.
Marc:Solid.
Marc:And it's not like you didn't try before that.
Marc:What does that mean?
You asshole.
Guest:I dated comedians exclusively because I like comedians.
Marc:No, I get it.
Guest:Did we cover why you thought me and you were... Oh, because you would come into the improv and first of all, you've always been one of my favorite comedians.
Marc:The original improv?
Guest:No, on Melrose.
Marc:Oh, back when you lived here that time.
Guest:Yeah, and I'd watch your set, and I would be like... Then I'd go to talk to you about your set, and I'd realize, like, oh, you don't... It's almost like you're another person offstage sometimes.
Marc:Is that true?
Marc:Well, I... Back then, maybe.
Guest:I think that fame and fortune changes people, and I think for you...
Marc:Made me better.
Guest:Made you better.
Marc:Well, yeah, it's validating.
Marc:I mean, back then, I'd go on.
Marc:I'd do okay.
Marc:People like you would like me.
Marc:And then I'd get off and be like, well, that fucking was bad.
Marc:And what do you want?
Guest:Yes, yes.
Guest:Exactly.
Marc:But that's the thinking.
Marc:It's not like, I don't like her.
Marc:It's like, oh, God, I suck.
Marc:No, I know.
Marc:And I'd always be like, oh.
Marc:What?
Marc:And then you would say, great, sad.
Marc:And I'm like, no, I don't believe that.
Guest:Yes, you'd argue it.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Marc:But but I met you before that because I like I we had this tweet exchange kind of about the mistake that some journalists made that you dated me.
Guest:Right.
Guest:They meant Mark Cohen.
Marc:I know who they meant.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And and then someone tweeted something about a teleprompter.
Marc:And I didn't know what I didn't know what was going on.
Marc:Then I read that part of the book.
Marc:And I you like.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:When you got to town.
Marc:You were funny and you had some swagger to you.
Marc:And I was sort of like impressed.
Marc:And the reason why I kept bothering you about the teleprompter, in my memory, who was your manager?
Marc:Was it Sussman?
Marc:Jeff Sussman.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Because you say I called Jeff in there.
Marc:Yes.
Guest:Do you remember calling him?
Marc:Probably.
Marc:I got mildly obsessed with you immediately.
Marc:But what am I going to do?
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:I was married and you were too pretty for me and whatever.
Marc:Oh, that's not true.
Marc:um you were you were up for something like a stand-up stand-up or something you were being yes right so that you didn't leap you didn't put that in there because i had hosted short attention span theater so i'm like you you got it like the whole thing is figuring out how to read that fucking thing because that's going to be your job yeah so i was very concerned you're intense about it i know because i wanted you to do well
Guest:Like I just got obsessed because you're like, well, I think when you first start talking about a teleprompter, I didn't know what a teleprompter was.
Guest:So that was like, and then I didn't want to be an idiot.
Marc:Well, I think I also wanted to spend time with you somehow.
Marc:I don't think like I wanted to have sex with you, but I wanted to know you and maybe, you know, fall in love with you or whatever.
Marc:But I was married.
Marc:So I thought like, you know, this teleprompter thing is going to at least get me in.
Marc:It's going to at least get me a conversation.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:But I don't really remember calling your manager.
Marc:I'm like, I need to talk to Bonnie about this.
Guest:It was urgent because... Yeah, he put you on speakerphone.
Marc:Oh.
Guest:I remember being like... Oh, really?
Marc:Like, don't tell him.
Guest:It wasn't because I didn't want to talk to you, but I do have anxiety about talking on the phone for some weird reason.
Marc:We were like kids.
Marc:Like, that was that whole New York thing, and that was in the middle of it, and all the...
Guest:And also, I think I was completely overwhelmed.
Guest:I mean, I just come from Canada.
Marc:Were you like 22, 23?
Guest:No, I was probably like 24, 25.
Guest:And so, yeah, but really, I didn't know what was going on in life, in the world.
Marc:Well, that's what I picked up on.
Marc:And I'm like, you've got to...
Marc:You got to deal with this teleprompter thing.
Marc:I'm not sure how I thought I was going to teach you how to re-teleprompter because I didn't have a job at that time.
Guest:You would always say, like, it goes faster than you think.
Guest:I was like, okay.
Marc:I was very concerned.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Did you get the job?
Guest:No, I don't think I ever went in on it.
Guest:I don't think I ever.
Guest:But I do remember when I did use a teleprompter.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was like, he's right.
Yeah.
Guest:It goes faster than you think.
Guest:And they can control the speed.
Guest:Yes, you told me that.
Guest:You tell them to slow down.
Marc:I was really.
Guest:You don't speed up for the teleprompter.
Guest:They slow down for you.
Marc:That was really.
Marc:That was my.
Marc:I was just like, I was going to help you.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:And then you dated Cohen for a while, right?
Guest:Off and on for like five years.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That was a very sad... I read a little bit about... I feel like I was mean to... This thing is that... About writing a memoir.
Guest:Yeah, you got to really sort of wonder... Well, I was going to change his name and then the lawyer that goes through the book with you was like, people will know who he is anyway.
Guest:There's no sense... So you have to email him and ask him if it's okay.
Marc:And what did he say?
Guest:And I didn't want to email him the passages because I'd already finished the book and I was tired of it.
Guest:I didn't want to have to rewrite.
Guest:So he said... I said, can I write about you?
Guest:And...
Guest:I said, the lawyer's concerned about some of the pot smoking stuff.
Guest:And he's like, it's fine.
Guest:And then he just said in the email, he goes, say whatever you want, just be kind.
Guest:And now I feel like I could have been kinder.
Marc:Well, I think that what was very telling and the interesting thing about Marcone, who I'd like to interview, I don't, is he here?
Guest:The email was the first time I spoke to him in forever.
Marc:I saw him once and he was such a sweet and very funny club comic guy.
Marc:He was the guy in New York.
Marc:I remember he had this disposition.
Marc:He loved working with a crowd.
Marc:He was very funny.
Marc:There was a lot of pot.
Guest:There was a lot of pot.
Marc:And I believe that over time, extensive pot smoking can somewhat diminish your will to get out and manifest things in your life.
Guest:Well, there's a thing called a God complex that you can get from smoking too much pot.
Marc:Really?
Marc:I never got that unless God was terrified.
Yeah.
Guest:all the time you're a jew god and paranoid um where you think like you're you know the greatest and people should just really come to your house and get you right they want you did you is that how you described in the book because all i read was that like he seemed to think that show business was just going to come to his apartment yes he never wanted to leave and go out and
Marc:Oh, that's so sad.
Guest:I know.
Guest:But he's what I feel like I should publicly say, like, he's he's a great guy.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I was getting out some aggressions, maybe from our breakups.
Marc:Well, you loved him, obviously.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And he did.
Marc:You know, a lot of people went through a Cohen period.
Marc:Some very smart, attractive female comics went through Cohen periods.
Marc:But what is it to, because there are some women comedians I know, they stay the fuck away from comics.
Marc:I don't get it.
Guest:I don't get it at all because I think if I was, I think every profession should just date their own profession because why would you want to talk about somebody else's profession for half the time?
Guest:Can you imagine being married to a dentist and having to talk about dentistry?
Marc:what god what you you're so you're saying you got a you know a dentist has to marry a dentist yes that sounds like horrible no that doesn't make sense bernie sanders wants to so but don't but wasn't there an issue because i married a comic and then there's an issue of sort of like who helps who and who's who's where are where are you each other in your careers i mean they're i mean like with mark it sounds like that had to be some sort of an issue with that kind of stuff i mean it's difficult
Guest:Well, there's I mean, there would be an issue no matter what.
Marc:Right.
Guest:There'd be if you're if you married and somebody wasn't a comic, there'd be an issue with you going on the road every weekend.
Marc:Right.
Marc:There's well, you're but you're with a dude now that like Rich is a great comic and he's a great guy.
Guest:But I know that legend.
Marc:Right.
Marc:I know in his mind, he's like, I hope she makes money.
Marc:yes yes well he wants me to make money but not as much as him do you know what i mean he still wants to be so i have to make just slightly less than him but you started in canada how how long did you well let's go back okay because you have a backstory like i don't think anyone i've spoken to primarily for one reason you're canadian right what part of canada did you grow up in
Guest:I grew up on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan.
Marc:What does that look like?
Marc:Where is that?
Marc:I should look it up.
Guest:It's on the west.
Marc:It's in the west.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:It goes British Columbia is the most western most province.
Marc:That's where Victoria is?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Is Vancouver in British Columbia?
Marc:Yes.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:And Victoria is on Vancouver Island.
Marc:Right.
Guest:And then it's Alberta, then Saskatchewan.
Marc:Oh, okay, so Edmonton's in Alberta?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Okay, and what's in Saskatchewan?
Guest:Regina, I don't know, nothing really.
Marc:Where's Winnipeg?
Guest:That's going farther east.
Marc:That's not a happy place, really.
Guest:No, I've never been there.
Marc:Culturally, very nice.
Marc:Had nice, smart people up there, but boy, that place gets beaten in the winter and shit.
Marc:Yeah, it's a tough place to live.
Marc:No, the fucking city of Winnipeg looks like it's just had enough.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I've never been there.
Marc:It's insane.
Marc:I think that one of their big tourist stops, if you can handle it, is I think that it's the windiest corner in North America.
Marc:I think that's what it is.
Guest:Because wasn't it just built there for trading?
Marc:Yeah, I think so.
Marc:For trading, maybe French people were involved.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:So how far up north?
Marc:Were there people where you were?
Guest:It was pretty much the end of the line.
Marc:Really?
Guest:End of the highway.
Guest:And I mean, people did live farther north.
Guest:There was like, you know.
Marc:But your neighbor was like a mile away kind of shit?
Marc:Yep.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And it was, why?
Marc:Why?
Guest:I don't know why they, I mean, my dad, you know, his grandfather or his father gave him, left him a piece of land there.
Guest:Or no, he, he had money and he went and bought that land there.
Guest:Cause I guess it was cheaper.
Marc:Just bought a chunk of land.
Marc:So where was he living?
Marc:Like, was he living in a city?
Guest:My parents were both living in Saskatchewan.
Guest:They were living in a tiny town.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Guest:Like a farming community.
Marc:So they're farmers.
Guest:They're farmers from farmers, from farmers, from farmers.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Holy shit.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So he's like, I'm going to buy this chunk of land and farm it.
Guest:Yes, so there was nothing on it, and he might have been drunk when he bought it.
Marc:Was he a drinker?
Guest:Yes, and my mom was pregnant, that's why they got married.
Marc:So he's drunk and she's pregnant, and they buy a chunk of land.
Marc:She was 19, pregnant with you?
Guest:No, with my oldest sister.
Marc:How's she doing?
Guest:She's good.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:They're doing great.
Guest:And so they had to build a house and take all the rocks off the lands.
Marc:They did all that?
Guest:They did it all by hand, yeah.
Guest:And so I grew up, we didn't have running water when I was growing up.
Marc:So you had a shit in a shack?
Guest:Yes.
Marc:I'm sorry.
Guest:No, no, we shat in a can at night if it was too late to go out to the outhouse.
Guest:What?
Guest:Yeah, it had a toilet seat on it.
Marc:The can did.
Marc:Yes, it was like a... A bucket with a toilet seat.
Guest:Yeah, it was like as high as a seat.
Guest:It was comfortable.
Guest:Well, when you're a kid, it's like it's fun.
Guest:No, we didn't have TV, so we didn't know how other people were living.
Marc:Oh my God, so this is like wood stove, hand-built house kind of shit?
Marc:Yes.
Guest:We melted snow on the stove for our once a week baths and stuff.
Guest:I still only take a bath once a week.
Marc:With snow?
Guest:Yes, with snow.
Guest:I have it imported.
Guest:How many kids were there?
Guest:Norway.
Guest:There's four kids.
Marc:Four of you in this, I'm picturing kind of like a cabin-ish type of house that always needed repair.
Guest:Yeah, it was like a rundown.
Guest:It was like a shack.
Marc:It was a shack that they built.
Guest:Well, their first house burnt down.
Marc:What?
Guest:Yes.
Marc:When you were alive?
Guest:My mom was pregnant with me.
Guest:And so then they lived in a trailer.
Marc:On the land.
Guest:Like a camper trailer.
Marc:Not an RV.
Guest:And when I was a baby, I guess it was too cold to put me down, so my mom had to carry me the whole time.
Marc:What?
Marc:Because there was no heat?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, there was... Yeah.
Marc:It's like pioneers.
Guest:Yes, it's the 1800s.
Guest:I know.
Guest:It's so crazy.
Marc:And that's how you... It's not even hippie shit, though.
Marc:It's like he's a farmer in earnest.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:It wasn't like we're off the grid because civilization is in trouble.
Yes.
Guest:I used to try to tell people like I grew up in an organic farm to try to make it seem cooler but no it was just like some guy that didn't know that was what he was supposed to do because well my dad really is proud of being a farmer and he loved living off the land and it's you know so what were you eating as a child just shit you grew or did you have to go to a trading post or no everything was from the farm literally every single thing on the table was from the get go
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:We made our own butter.
Guest:My mom made our own ketchup, which is disgusting.
Marc:Your mom made ketchup?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Everything was homemade.
Marc:How did you even know about ketchup?
Marc:Why would she do that to you if you weren't like, we want ketchup, and then it's sort of like, I'll try to make you some, but how could you have even been informed about it?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Probably my dad wanted it.
Guest:He ruled the house.
Guest:Wanted ketchup?
Marc:So there was a lot of experimenting going on.
Marc:It's like, I'll try to recreate something that normal people eat from the supermarket.
Guest:Do you know, like, we weren't recreating from the supermarket.
Guest:You know, the supermarket's recreating what people have been doing for centuries.
Marc:I know.
Guest:I bet you ketchup was probably... Ketchup is disgusting.
Guest:Homemade ketchup is awful.
Marc:I bet.
Marc:But I'm assuming that ketchup was not a farm item that it didn't originate.
Guest:Right.
Marc:It was a convenience item that some idiot came up with instead of something else.
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:I don't either.
Marc:I'm sure we could learn it, but I'm not doing that right now because we're in this.
Marc:So we can look at the history of ketchup here.
Guest:But I will say this.
Guest:Heinz is knocking it out of the park.
Guest:Nobody comes close.
Marc:No, it's the best.
Marc:It's the best ketchup.
Guest:It really is.
Marc:Well, yeah, because we grew up with it.
Marc:There's anything, any ketchup that you get, homemade or otherwise, you're going to be judging against Heinz.
Marc:And that's the staple.
Marc:I mean, what was the other one?
Marc:Del Monte?
Marc:No good.
Marc:No, not even.
Marc:That's the other big one.
Marc:No, it's no good.
Marc:But I imagine there's some idiots in the world that are like, I'm kind of a Heinz guy.
Marc:Yeah, they're fucked up.
Guest:They don't get it.
Marc:They do not get it.
Marc:But wait, okay, so what are the ages of all the kids?
Marc:Because I just want to picture it.
Marc:Were you close?
Guest:So there's four girls in five and a half years.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:And you're the youngest.
Marc:You're the youngest.
Guest:Yes, but I also have a sister who's mentally handicapped in there.
Guest:So my second oldest sister, Lynn, has Down syndrome.
Guest:So my mom really had her work cut out.
Marc:Full range.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, and so the second, the one above you has Down syndrome?
Marc:No.
Marc:Or the two up?
Guest:Two up.
Marc:So you guys dealt with that your whole life?
Guest:Yes, but I didn't know she was until I was probably six, seven, until I realized something's up.
Marc:But out of the mental handicaps, if I'm not being insensitive, that's functional, and they have a full range of emotions and fun and everything, right?
Guest:She's amazing.
Guest:I've had people say over the years, like,
Guest:I love Down syndrome people because they're so wonderful and so happy all the time.
Guest:My sister has a terrible temper, and you have to push her really hard, which we did.
Marc:We told her one time.
Marc:I mean, you're on a farm.
Marc:What else are you going to do for fun?
Marc:Let's push the mentally challenged sister to the point where she loses it.
Guest:Oh, God.
Guest:We were mean to everyone at certain points, but I remember one time we...
Guest:called her and told her she got accepted into college.
Guest:That's horrible.
Guest:But my sisters and I were in the bedroom laughing so hard at my other sister.
Guest:Yes, we bullied our Down Syndrome.
Guest:yeah and i guess that's just but she but she you know she got even too because she i guess my parents set this up this way is that you know she owned the vcr so if we wanted to rent a movie um she would have to give us the okay really that's interesting yeah so she had a little power there yeah so yeah and she and she would hold the line oh yeah you had to tell her there was a dog or a kid in it you know
Marc:So she'd sit there waiting for a dog or a kid, and you'd say like, I don't know, it must be, maybe I didn't remember it properly.
Guest:I thought that was in the preview.
Marc:So this is a very challenging upbringing.
Marc:And also you're like the last one, so you're wearing everyone else's clothes, I imagine.
Marc:Is your mom making clothing?
Guest:My mom made clothing.
Guest:Come on!
Guest:Yes, yes, yes.
Guest:And then got in a fight about it once at school because...
Guest:I'm wearing a frock that some girl made fun of.
Marc:So your dad, did he farm?
Marc:Was he a successful farmer?
Guest:Well, he, you know, once they got the farm up and running, then the house burnt down.
Guest:Then they got it, you know,
Marc:They got the camper.
Guest:They got the camper, then they finally got a new house.
Guest:Well, they basically bought an old house and pulled it onto the farm with a dirt basement, which we slept in.
Marc:What do you mean he slept in a dirt basement?
Guest:Yes, my sisters and I, we slept downstairs.
Marc:There was no walls?
Guest:No, no, there was walls, but there was carpet over the dirt.
Marc:The ground?
Guest:Yes, and there was lots of mice down there.
Guest:You could hear mice.
Marc:All four of you were down there?
Guest:Yes.
Marc:In one room?
Guest:Yep.
Marc:And what were they doing upstairs?
Marc:I know, it's like one of those Irish... There's a lot of words for it, I guess.
Marc:I mean, it seems primitive, but there's a certain part of me that thinks it's a little abusive in a way.
Marc:It sounds like you were raised in the wild.
Guest:I know, it's embarrassing to talk about.
Marc:But were they... Is it?
Guest:Well, I mean, for a long time, I didn't talk about it because I was embarrassed.
Guest:But then, as I get older, I realize nobody lived like that.
Guest:It's such a crazy...
Marc:And you wouldn't assume that you lived like that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:People.
Marc:You seem together.
Marc:You know how to dress properly.
Guest:Not like just wearing overalls.
Marc:You're not like grunting or like, you know, like they obviously.
Guest:Water in a bottle.
Guest:What?
Guest:What's the world come to?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But were you homeschooled?
Guest:No, no.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:Well, that probably saved you.
Guest:My mother was a teacher.
Marc:Oh, good.
Guest:So.
Marc:So you got proper parenting.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:And your father, what was he farming?
Guest:So he was farming cattle and milk cows.
Marc:How many acres did you have?
Guest:Well, I don't remember how many acres we had.
Guest:And then my father got cancer and we lost that farm.
Marc:Did you lose the father?
Guest:No, but we all say goodbye to him.
Guest:They send him home to die.
Marc:That's what they do in Canada?
Marc:That's the health coverage we all hear about?
Guest:This was, you know, many, many years ago.
Marc:You got cancer.
Marc:Good luck with it.
Guest:This was like 40 years ago.
Marc:You've got your diagnosis.
Guest:But he lived.
Marc:What kind of cancer?
Guest:He had stomach cancer.
Marc:Jesus, fuck.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And he just kicked it?
Guest:Well, the story goes, and I don't know, this is in the book, I don't know how true this is, but supposedly his mother came and told him that he couldn't die because he had a farm and kids to look after and he better get his ass out of bed and get better.
Guest:He got up that day and took a walk.
Marc:And that's the... And then he just was better.
Guest:No, he, you know.
Marc:Is he still around?
Guest:I do remember us always, like, every day taking him for his walk.
Marc:Is he still around?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So he did kick stomach cancer.
Marc:He kicked stomach cancer.
Marc:Without medication, just because his mom...
Guest:Well, he did chemo and he had a lot of operations.
Guest:He was in the hospital for about a year.
Marc:Oh, Jesus.
Guest:How old were you?
Guest:So I was six.
Marc:That's horrible.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then so when he came back, we had a smaller farm and then we mostly, you know, we had sort of our own farm animals like chickens and cows and stuff.
Guest:But the main thing was a market garden.
Guest:So we had like 10 acres of garden.
Marc:That you sold vegetables, and that's how you made a living?
Guest:Yes, that is hard.
Guest:That is some serious manual labor.
Marc:So you had pigs you killed, and chickens you killed, and cows you killed, and probably sheep.
Guest:No sheep.
Marc:No goats.
Guest:I don't think we ever had goats.
Marc:But you had to like do the whole thing where it's like, oh, we know that pig.
Marc:And then, you know, you just watched a pig get older and then eventually you kill it.
Guest:Well, you don't name the animals that are for eating.
Marc:Right.
Guest:You don't become friends.
Guest:That's a rule.
Marc:And you were taught that?
Guest:You know, when you're a farm kid, you learn like the cycle of life pretty early on.
Guest:I had to kill the chickens.
Guest:I mean, that was my job was like cutting the heads off the chickens.
Marc:Yeah, I've seen that happen once.
Marc:It's not good.
Guest:Yeah, I think it's maybe affected me in life.
Marc:You do?
Guest:That might be why I'm a comedian.
Marc:Because you had to whack those chickens.
Marc:I had to take life.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But from what age were you...
Guest:About, I was like 9, 10, 11.
Marc:And that's where you just, you grab a chicken, it's freaking out, you put its head on a piece of wood and you take a large... An axe?
Marc:Oh, an axe.
Guest:Yeah, a hand axe.
Marc:And you have to hope you hit it right or else it's going to run around with its head off and dangling from a tendon.
Guest:Well, it will run no matter what.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then my sister Lynn, she would then go find all the chickens and bring them back.
Marc:The headless chickens.
Guest:Yeah, because they'd run and be like, there's one under the car.
Marc:Oh, really?
Yeah.
Marc:Oh no.
Marc:But there's something, uh, you know, very, um, reasonable about this life.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's, you know, it's, it's, it's the way you eat chicken.
Guest:I mean, I assume you're, you know, some people do, they think it's like horrifying, but it's just cause you're up and, you know, this is how it actually works.
Marc:This is how you're getting your food.
Marc:But there's an intimacy and there's a, uh, a practicality to eating what you raise.
Marc:Right.
Marc:As opposed to, you know, this face was horrible, you know, uh,
Marc:airport hangar sized things filled with cages of yes you know of fat chickens that can't move that run down a conveyor of uh of immigrant labor just hacking heads off yes it's different i mean i'm a vegetarian now yeah how long um off and on for you know since i was like probably 20.
Marc:So that was one of your big rebellions?
Marc:As you departed the farm, you were like, fuck this.
Guest:I couldn't find a black guy in Canada, so I had to go vegetarian.
Guest:Then I discovered the Jews.
Marc:Have you done that joke before?
Guest:No.
Marc:I would write that down.
Marc:You want to make note of that?
Guest:Yeah, no, it's fine.
Guest:No, I never do anything funny in my act.
Guest:Oh, I know.
Marc:That's like, I just... So, all right, so you're living like this, you know, emotionally abusing your mentally challenged sister and cutting the heads off a chicken.
Yes, yes.
Marc:And at what point, how's she doing, by the way?
Guest:She's great.
Guest:She lives on her own.
Guest:That's good.
Guest:But she has workers that come and check on her.
Marc:And is she up, are your folks still on the farm?
Guest:Everybody still lives in Canada.
Guest:My parents live on a farm nearby, but they're going to move.
Guest:My sister actually lives on the second farm that we had.
Marc:So you have all this property.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Are any of them still farming?
Yes.
Guest:No, my mom still has a big garden.
Guest:Right.
Marc:But no.
Marc:But did your dad, he got by on the farming.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:They did all right in the end.
Marc:Did the food taste better, though, in your recollection, comparatively speaking?
Marc:Eggs, chicken, beef, whatnot?
Guest:Well, you know, I used to complain about it all the time because, you know, my mom would make homemade bread and we'd take sandwiches to school and the homemade bread would crumble.
Guest:So I'd always have like...
Guest:you know the mess yeah you're sitting with your friends can we please have just so you won't be mocked for your frock and your crumbly bread and my sister went to um had a sleepover once and they had tv dinners and she would always we'd always be like what was it like
Guest:Tell us about the TV dinners.
Marc:So your mom would like make stews and shit, stuff that would last a week that you sort of have to eat out of the same pot for a week kind of stuff.
Guest:Yeah, I mean, I guess like, you know, you know, we'd have to like make butter and you'd put.
Marc:But you didn't have a churn.
Guest:No, we'd have cream in a jar and you put it.
Guest:You put a spoon in the jar and then you just shake it while you're doing your homework or whatever.
Marc:Oh, right, right.
Marc:Because you like if you whip cream enough, it just butters.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:And then you just salt it a little bit.
Marc:Right.
Guest:And then, you know, I don't know.
Guest:It's so stupid.
Marc:It's not stupid.
Marc:It's completely unique.
Marc:What I don't understand is, like, how do you get from there to here?
Marc:Like, what what what moment were you like?
Marc:I got it.
Marc:You know, I'm living like like an off the grid person.
Guest:Well, I hated it.
Guest:You know, I mean, I was like I fancied myself as I wanted to be a writer.
Marc:But where did you learn that?
Marc:Were you at school and there were other kids that seemed to be living a life that seemed less harrowing?
Guest:Well, I guess when I started babysitting and then they had TV.
Marc:So what did you do?
Marc:And your dad was a boozy?
Marc:He was boozy?
Guest:No, not after... The cancer?
Guest:Yeah, not after the cancer.
Guest:Even, you know, they were too broke.
Guest:He says he stopped drinking because they were too broke to buy alcohol.
Marc:That usually doesn't stop committed drinkers.
Marc:Why wasn't he making his own alcohol?
Guest:You know, they did, I think.
Marc:They did?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I think that was a part of it.
Guest:Then he got cancer.
Guest:He still drinks once in a while, you know, but he, you know, it's hard on his system.
Marc:Who milked the cows?
Guest:So I milked a cow.
Guest:I had my own cow.
Guest:We all had our own cow.
Guest:Well, my dad gave us all a cow for our 10th birthdays.
Guest:And then I don't know why.
Guest:What was your cow's name?
Guest:That Bessie.
Guest:No.
Guest:It's so cliche, yes.
Guest:But my fourth grade teacher's name was Bessie, so I named the cow.
Marc:Oh, after.
Guest:Her, like I thought it was so funny.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Yeah, so I milked a cow every morning and every night.
Marc:Oh my God.
Guest:And I sold the milk, my cow's milk, at the farmer's market.
Guest:Then I started an ice cream business.
Guest:What?
Guest:And I sold ice cream.
Marc:You made the ice cream at home?
Guest:Yeah, and I made crazy, you know, raspberry, swirl, rum and raisin.
Guest:This was like 10, 11, 12, 13 maybe, yeah.
Marc:You figured out how to make ice cream from your mom?
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Was it like one of those wooden basket ice cream makers?
Marc:Like the wooden, like was it wood on the outside and you put ice in it and then you put the thing in the middle?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:You were like almost Amish.
I know.
Guest:my homemade clothes churning the ice and we're all four daughters at the farmer's market well my sisters didn't they just took the money for the cow so my dad would just give them whatever the blue book value of the cow was right yes you know 60 bucks or something but i actually took the cow i got a pregnant cow because i picked the fattest one and so then i had you know i had a little business going for a while and uh um
Marc:Was there a brand?
Marc:Was it Bonnie's ice cream or just ice cream?
Guest:Yeah, and then my sister Lynn would help me and I wouldn't give her any money.
Guest:I would just buy her french fries.
Marc:And that was it?
Guest:She was fine with it.
Marc:But this was a farmer's market.
Marc:Was it like where city folk would come?
Guest:Well, there's an Air Force base pretty close by.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So they would come, the base people.
Marc:So they were city folk.
Marc:To buy ice cream from the strange farm families.
Guest:It was like a line around the block for my ice cream.
Marc:Really?
Guest:People would call the house and order it.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Why didn't you stick with that?
Guest:I know.
Guest:I think I should have just been an entrepreneur.
Marc:So, okay, so you started babysitting and watching television.
Marc:And what was the impulse there?
Guest:And then I couldn't wait to get away, go to a city, you know, sort of.
Guest:And then I went to college a little bit.
Guest:I took radio and television arts.
Guest:Where?
Guest:NAIT, Northern Alberta Institute of Technology.
Marc:So you got out of it?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And your parents were excited about that.
Marc:They weren't like, who's gonna take care of the cow?
Guest:They didn't like that I was going, you know, I think they wanted me to stay.
Guest:I mean, I moved to Vancouver.
Guest:I don't think they wanted me to go that far.
Marc:Right.
Guest:And then I was working at an advertising agency.
Marc:In Vancouver.
Guest:In Vancouver.
Marc:Were you going to school?
Guest:I was done school then.
Guest:And then I started freelancing.
Guest:This advertising agency helped me get a lot of sort of freelance work.
Marc:Doing what?
Guest:You know, writing menus or pamphlets for stuff.
Guest:But I was also waitressing still at the time because I needed money.
Marc:So you're living in Vancouver with people?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I like Vancouver.
Guest:Yeah, it was good.
Guest:I enjoyed it too.
Marc:And you were like 20?
Guest:Yeah, I think I was 20.
Marc:So you're working as an advertising, at an advertising agent, writing menus and pamphlets, and you're waitressing.
Guest:So where do you grab... So then I got a job as a hostess at a comedy club.
Marc:Which one?
Guest:At the Punchline.
Guest:I don't know if it's still there.
Marc:Mark Breslin's place?
Guest:No, it was independent and in Gastown.
Guest:And it blew my mind.
Guest:I wanted to write stand-up.
Marc:So I started writing... You just took the job because you saw a listing.
Guest:No, somebody at the restaurant had said that they were looking for someone.
Guest:They were telling someone else.
Guest:And I went down there and got the job.
Guest:I stole it out from under them.
Marc:And you were like blown away by comedy.
Marc:That was the first time you saw live comedy.
Guest:I'd seen it one other time.
Guest:Do you remember who it was?
Guest:The very first comedian that I ever saw was Stanley Ullman?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:Is that his name?
Guest:The Canadian guy?
Guest:No.
Guest:The first time I was in Anaheim, my mom had taken us to Disneyland.
Yeah.
Marc:Oh, that was nice of her.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So in your frocks.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:So then anyway, so he'd been playing poker at our house for years before I realized that was the guy I did.
Guest:I said a joke of the first guy I ever saw.
Guest:And I'm like, that's that's him.
Marc:Oh, he'd be playing at Mark Cohen?
Guest:Yeah, Mark Cohen would have that weekly poker game and he was one of the guys.
Marc:Really?
Guest:He had a very funny opening joke where he came on stage and he didn't say anything into the mic.
Guest:He just fixed his coffee and moved his notes around for what seemed like a really long time.
Guest:And then he goes, well, when you go to work, do you start right away?
Guest:And the audience fell out.
Marc:So you saw Stanley Ullman, then you get this job as a hostess at the Punchline.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:In Vancouver.
Marc:In Vancouver.
Marc:In Gastown.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And so you're seeing all the Canadian dudes?
Guest:Yep.
Marc:Like who?
Guest:Like Ian Bagg, I remember was one.
Guest:Craig Campbell was another guy.
Guest:These guys were, they'd been doing it maybe like between two and four years, but I thought they were amazing.
Marc:Right, well Bagg's like our age.
Guest:Huh?
Guest:bags like our age yeah you're young so he was the one who told me like you can't because i was like trying to sell jokes to comedians i'd been writing these jokes and yeah and he was like that's ridiculous you can't that's not how it works are you friends with him still yeah he's a great guy yeah and uh very funny yeah he's really amazing at crowd work if you ever oh no i know he's a crowd work guy
Guest:And then, because I was the hostess, I took the calls a lot.
Guest:People would call and they'd say, who do you got coming in?
Guest:And you'd say something like, are they American?
Guest:And you'd be like, no.
Guest:And they'd be like, well, when do you got an American guy coming in?
Guest:They only wanted to see Americans.
Marc:Who was the first American you saw?
Marc:Like, because now you work with these guys.
Marc:I mean, now you see them.
Guest:A lot of them, like, remembered me as the hostess.
Marc:Of course they did.
Marc:They're on the road.
Marc:They're like, who's that chick?
Yeah.
Guest:I didn't have sex with any of them.
Guest:That's what you mean.
Marc:Well, no, but I'm sure they tried.
Guest:I mean, there was a lot of partying.
Marc:A lot of drinking.
Marc:Really?
Marc:In comedy?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's crazy.
Guest:And then I eventually started doing it.
Marc:What, like at the open mic?
Guest:I went to the Yuck Yucks open mic.
Guest:Because if you did stand-up, that was the rule.
Guest:The punchline.
Guest:You couldn't date one of the comics and you couldn't do stand-up.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:It's probably worked out better in terms of Yuck Yucks being some sort of strange monopoly of the entire Canadian landscape to get started there.
Guest:Got started there.
Marc:So you start doing open mics and what did you do?
Guest:Then I won a contest that was like funniest new comic in Canada.
Guest:I won the whole thing.
Guest:Really early in...
Marc:Like how many years in?
Guest:Maybe like six times in doing it.
Marc:What?
Guest:Yeah, no.
Guest:I hadn't done it a lot, for sure.
Marc:Six times in?
Guest:Well, the reason I went into the contest was so I could get more stage time.
Marc:And you started touring?
Guest:And then after that, I moved to Toronto.
Marc:What was the name of that place?
Marc:The Laugh Resort in Toronto?
Guest:Yes, but I worked for Yuck Yuck.
Marc:Right, of course.
Marc:You're in.
Marc:You're part of the studio system.
Marc:I'm part of it, yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then...
Marc:And then did you meet a lot of those other dudes?
Guest:Yep, met them all.
Marc:The crazy Yuck Yuck comics?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:So then I called Caroline's.
Marc:In New York.
Guest:In New York and asked who books the show.
Marc:Lewis Ferranda.
Guest:Hi, hi, hi Bonnie.
Guest:I got him on the phone and he, I was like, I'm a comedian and I want to do your show.
Guest:And he was like,
Guest:What do you mean?
Guest:What are you talking about?
Guest:I don't know why he entertained this, but he said, okay, I have workmen in my office that are fixing the ceiling.
Guest:If you could make them laugh, I'll put you on the show.
Guest:So I had my notebook out and I- You walked in or this was on the phone?
Guest:This was on the phone.
Marc:So he put you on speaker?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:That was your audition?
Guest:That was my audition.
Guest:I got the show.
Guest:Well, he asked me if I was cute.
Marc:Was it, oh, for the TV show?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Cal Rowan's Comedy Hour.
Guest:Yes, and one of the first questions, I think before I even did the stand-up, he was like, are you cute?
Marc:So he puts you on speaker, and what did you do?
Guest:I just did my jokes that I had in my notebook.
Guest:I didn't think it was weird.
Guest:I honestly, when I called, that's what I thought might happen.
Marc:I didn't think, like... That you'd have to do your jokes on the phone?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Was there no videotapes then?
Guest:Yes, there was, but I just, I was naive.
Guest:I didn't know...
Marc:Did you hear yourself getting laughs from the workman?
Guest:Yes, and I started doing a little bit of crowd work with the workman.
Marc:That's the best audition story I ever heard.
Guest:Then I went and did the show and bombed really bad.
Marc:It was not easy room, I don't think, Caroline's, that one.
Marc:None of them were.
Marc:Caroline's in Times Square gets so huge.
Guest:Well, that's the thing.
Guest:Unless it's filled, it's hard.
Marc:Yeah, but eventually they built that curtain so they could close off half the room to make you feel less shitty.
Guest:I know.
Guest:It makes you feel more shitty.
Marc:It does.
Guest:You're like, that curtain's coming closed.
Guest:Because there's all different tears.
Marc:And then they leave a little open for four comics or five comics to sit at that one table so they could look through the curtain.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, I remember.
Marc:I never played it that much.
Marc:I never got along with that guy.
Marc:But surprise.
Marc:So that was, you moved to New York after that?
Guest:And then I moved to New York, yeah.
Marc:Because it went so well?
Guest:Well, Jeff Sussman sort of convinced, so I didn't know Jeff Sussman, and he had written me a letter.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:After I won Best Comic in Canada, he knew about it somehow, and he'd seen a picture of me, so he asked me if he could manage me, but I just ignored it because I didn't know what a manager was or anything.
Guest:And so then when Lewis Ferrandez said, who's your manager?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I just said, Jeff Sussman.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'd had a letter from him.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I called Jeff Sussman and I said, I told him I was your manager.
Guest:And he goes, because I am.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:He was excited.
Guest:So then he convinced me to, I stayed.
Guest:Are you still with him?
Guest:No, no.
No.
Marc:Jeff Sussman, for people listening, is a New York-based manager, I think famous for, I think he still represents Kevin James and Joe Rogan.
Marc:Yep.
Marc:Who else?
Guest:That's enough.
Guest:He's living large.
Guest:He's doing fine.
Marc:I always had respect, even though him and I were not pals or anything, but I knew him and I was probably a dick to him.
Marc:But those guys that stayed on their own and bet on a couple lucky horses and made a life, I have respect for those guys.
Guest:Well, he had a good eye.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Who else?
Marc:Do you remember who else he had?
Marc:I can't remember.
Marc:I just know.
Marc:Brian Frazier.
Guest:Do you remember him?
Marc:Sure.
Guest:He was one of his clients.
Marc:What would you do if I sang out a key?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And then he'd spit a key out.
Marc:But yeah, I interviewed.
Guest:Look at my wingspan.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It was funny.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I interviewed Brian.
Marc:He started with me, actually, in Boston.
Marc:He's here.
Marc:He writes things.
Marc:He did a one-man show about anxiety.
Guest:He wrote some books.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Some books.
Marc:So he had Frazier.
Guest:Oh, Ted Alexandro.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:I wonder if he's still with him.
Guest:I don't think so.
Marc:All right, so now you're rolling.
Marc:You're in New York.
Marc:You got a manager.
Guest:And then I met you right after that.
Marc:Right, and then you just started a long string of fucking Jews.
Guest:Yes, and then Jew comedians, please.
Marc:I'm sorry, Jew comedians.
Marc:It's a smaller... Yeah.
Marc:Was it because you just never experienced Jews before?
Guest:Well, you know, I've always liked Jews because Jewish men, in my experience, are verbal, which I like.
Guest:I like having that exchange.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:So...
Guest:I was part of it.
Marc:They never shut up.
Marc:They're needy and verbal.
Guest:Who wants to cuddle?
Marc:I don't.
Marc:You just want to talk.
Guest:Or even just listen.
Guest:In Rich's case, I just listen.
Marc:And help them feel better about themselves.
Marc:That's what you're about.
Marc:Listening to Jewish men talk and help them feel better about themselves.
Guest:I'm used to struggle.
Guest:So I feel like we come together on that.
Marc:But how long was it like because you did like we were all sort of, you know, did those basic cable shows to make those rounds.
Marc:I imagine you were auditioning.
Marc:But what was your experience on the road?
Marc:How long did it take?
Marc:Were you headlining?
Guest:Well, I did the road in Canada, but I didn't.
Marc:As a middle?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Guest:But I hardly, and I think back, what was I doing?
Guest:How was I doing?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Half an hour.
Guest:I have no idea what that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I didn't hardly ever go on the road.
Guest:Once I got to New York.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was, you know, city clubs.
Guest:And then I went to LA.
Guest:I got a deal right away.
Guest:And then I went to LA.
Marc:Oh, you got one of those $250,000.
Guest:$175,000.
Marc:$175,000 development deal.
Marc:Was your agent Ruthann Secunda?
Guest:No, that's so funny.
Guest:Everyone wanted Ruthann Secunda.
Marc:Ruthann will get you that quarter million dollar deal.
Guest:That was Jeff Sussman got me that.
Marc:Oh, you didn't have an agent?
Guest:I did after the deal.
Guest:I got William Morris.
Marc:Which one?
Marc:Who was it?
Guest:James Dixon.
Marc:Dixon!
Guest:And August, Mike August.
Marc:Mike August!
Marc:Dixon is another one of those independent guys now who I'm very impressed with and who I insulted somehow, but he's all right.
Marc:He's a character, Dixon.
Guest:I loved him.
Marc:Yeah, he's great.
Marc:I loved him.
Marc:His roster is Jon Stewart, Colbert, Kimmel, and... Corolla.
Marc:Corolla.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But Dixon just had these guys.
Guest:Yeah, he's such a guy's guy, though, too.
Guest:He loved hanging out with them.
Marc:Yeah, he was a little character.
Marc:He's almost like an old Hollywood-style character.
Guest:Yes, yeah.
Marc:But he's on his own now.
Marc:He just has Kimmel and Colbert and Jon Stewart.
Marc:He's done.
Marc:He's good.
Guest:Right, right.
Marc:And then what happened after all that?
Marc:You got your agent, you got your deal.
Marc:You did a pilot, right?
Guest:I did a couple of TV shows that actually made it on the air and a couple that didn't.
Guest:Then it just got worse and worse.
Guest:I did want to be a writer and everybody would talk me out of it all the time, but I ended up supporting myself by all these writing gigs that I had.
Marc:Like for what?
Marc:game shows and you're one of those like yeah those those people that just they pulled in yeah yeah just always knew somebody that was writing on something that would are you available yeah we do you did tough crowd too right yeah a bit tough crowd a couple times yeah five times or something and did you like did you write for any shows that like stayed on the air kind of thing like
Guest:Well, I wrote for two years.
Guest:It was probably my longest thing was for Spy TV, that hidden camera show, which I loved working on that show.
Marc:So was writing better for you than stand-up?
Marc:I mean, did you prefer it?
Marc:Do you like doing stand-up?
Guest:Well, I do.
Guest:Well, I have such a weird relationship with stand-up because I am not as good as I want to be and it frustrates me.
Guest:It really, I can't, I can't, you know, it's like one day you think I've got it.
Guest:I know what I'm doing now.
Guest:And then the next time it's like it doesn't.
Marc:i don't know i i've never come to terms with it i've never been able to just like well the thing is is weird is that you know i think that if you have the mindset where i don't do anything else like at some point you just cross over into this thing where you're like that i'm just i'm a comic and that's you know i'm gonna go up no matter what and just fucking deal with it uh you know it becomes different but it seems like you know you you had success with other things too
Guest:Well, I have a lot of shame around stand-up.
Guest:I'm embarrassed.
Guest:I don't want people I know to come see me.
Marc:Still?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Even more so now because I'm a mom and neighbors.
Guest:I don't want my people that I stand outside and wait for the bus to come with the kids and we small talk.
Marc:What is it about your stand-up?
Guest:Well, I don't know.
Guest:I just feel like, I don't know.
Guest:I just think they won't like it.
Guest:I just think they won't like it.
Marc:Do you think it represents you honestly?
Marc:Is it that you're like, oh, that joke's old or that?
Guest:Well, I think it does represent me honestly, but I think my real life doesn't represent me honestly.
Guest:Like I pretend I'm somebody else in my real life.
Guest:Do you know what I mean?
Guest:It's almost like I'm like a closeted gay man, you know, who's married.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Marc:Who's living a suburban life.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:You're down low as doing a set at the comic strip.
Yeah.
Guest:When I moved to suburban New Jersey, I didn't tell anyone that I was a comedian.
Guest:For years no one knew.
Guest:What did you tell them?
Guest:I just would avoid that.
Marc:But when did you do Ask Comic Standing?
Marc:I mean, at some point they knew.
Guest:No, because I'm Bonnie Voss there.
Guest:Nobody ever asked.
Guest:Nobody ever said anything.
Guest:Nobody recognized me.
Marc:You're Bonnie Voss in New Jersey.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Like I have a separate Facebook.
Guest:I have separate, you know what I mean?
Marc:There's a Bonnie McFarlane Facebook and a Bonnie Voss Facebook?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So the Bonnie Voss people, you know, that's like- Pictures of your kids?
Guest:People from my gym and people from, you know, my kids, friends, moms.
Marc:So you're living a double life.
Guest:I'm living a fully double life.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:And occasionally it'll-
Marc:And this is all because of shame and insecurity.
Guest:Yes, yes.
Guest:Yeah, because I think I'm too dirty.
Guest:Okay, I did a show at the Village Underground recently.
Guest:And it went really well.
Guest:It couldn't have been better.
Guest:And there was my neighbor was in the audience.
Guest:She came up.
Guest:She goes...
Guest:You never tell me where you have set.
Guest:So I came, you know, and I was like in shot.
Guest:I was reeling.
Marc:I couldn't handle it.
Guest:Like you've just been caught with it.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Like doing something horrible.
Guest:I'm 69ing my, you know.
Marc:Right, right.
Guest:But yes.
Guest:And then all I could think about that night was like how dirty, like the dirty jokes that I'd done.
Guest:Like is she, you know, I think I said I sucked a thousand cocks in that set, you know.
Marc:I'm sure she got a kick out of it.
Guest:Maybe.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:She never said.
Marc:But now do you look at her going like, no, she knows.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:I'm like, can you not tell everyone else in the neighborhood?
Marc:That's rough.
Guest:I know.
Guest:It's like stupid.
Marc:What do you track this?
Marc:Well, your book's called You're Better Than Me.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So you have this fundamental shame thing.
Guest:Yeah, I guess so.
Guest:About the way I grew up.
Guest:It's all me trying to spin it out of like, you know, like for these people, they can know this for these people, they can know that.
Marc:But this is the memoir, which, you know, where, you know, you talk about.
Marc:Yeah, it all comes out because cutting chickens heads off and fucking Jewish men.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Comedians.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:But that's the other thing is like now I'm in another situation where, you know, they found out I wrote a book and they want to read the book and I don't want them to read the book.
Right.
Marc:But you've had such a more interest.
Guest:I don't want anyone to read the book.
Guest:I want them to buy the book.
Marc:You just don't want your neighbors to read it.
Marc:That's all.
Marc:But don't you think they'd be like, wow, what a life, as opposed to like, what a pig?
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:Come on.
I don't know.
Guest:Maybe.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I know it sounds crazy.
Marc:What do you want to do?
Guest:Because Rich has none of that.
Guest:Rich is like the exact opposite.
Guest:He's Rich Voss no matter what situation he's in.
Marc:Rich Voss wants more people to know.
Guest:Yeah, he could not.
Guest:I remember doing a show in Vegas once and they had my face on a billboard and I was humiliated.
Guest:I was horrified that people were going to see that billboard.
Yeah.
Guest:because you don't think well this is just primarily because you don't think you're good enough yes as a comic yes yeah and that you're not going to live up to me like i always think i'm like i've never made a cd because i think i'm going to be a little bit better soon and then i'll unleash myself to the world i understand that
Marc:Some people just aren't like that, but there is this idea where it's like, I wish I had a better tag.
Marc:That idea.
Marc:That's a good idea, but I don't think it's a joke.
Marc:It gets a laugh, but it's not a full joke.
Guest:Or you do something on TV, and then you think of a better tag later, and you're like, ah.
Marc:Yeah, I've done that.
Guest:It's on there.
Marc:Yeah, but no one's paying attention, Bonnie.
Guest:I know.
Guest:I know.
Guest:That's the real truth of it is that
Marc:Well, yeah, that's the thing.
Marc:People could really give a shit.
Marc:The pressure's only on when people have expectations and are familiar with you.
Marc:I mean, for me to get successful doing this thing, after spending 20 years of my life trying to be the best comic in the world and then getting popular because I'm interviewing people, it was sort of a tough pill to swallow because it made me, it reopened all that sort of weird insecurity of like, maybe I'm not a good enough comic.
Marc:You know, maybe, you know, that wasn't, you know, and then eventually you just accept it.
Marc:Like, well, I'm pretty good.
Marc:I'm about as good as, you know, I can be right now.
Marc:And there are some people that enjoy it.
Marc:And that's that.
Marc:I, you know, I've never been better.
Marc:And I always think that I was pretty good, but I was not, you know, I was alienating.
Guest:That's what I am.
Guest:I feel like.
Marc:I don't think you are.
Marc:Maybe, maybe you have that thing that I had then, which is sort of like, you know, I don't like me.
Marc:So why would they, I will try to defy them to not like me.
Guest:I have that lots of times.
Guest:I go on stage with the ad, you're like, fine, I won't like you either.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:Well, that's fixable.
Marc:What the fuck is that?
Guest:I have no idea, but I think.
Guest:Time's up.
Guest:I think that means I had a breakthrough.
Marc:Oh, good.
Marc:I'm glad you didn't go with time's up.
Marc:I'm sorry.
Marc:I'm glad you had a breakthrough.
Marc:You're about to.
Guest:Don't you think after all these years that that timing is everything really did turn out to be true?
Marc:Definitely.
Guest:I fought that for so long.
Guest:I was like, it's not everything.
Guest:It's just one of the things.
Marc:Well, there's a lot to it, but I think I've seen people that were completely socially awkward and had no timing in life at all who were great joke writers learn their timing.
Marc:It makes a huge... I don't think it's always natural is what I'm saying.
Marc:I think it definitely can be learned as you figure out who you are on stage.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But some people have a very pleasing timing.
Marc:Some people, especially Jews...
Marc:they're good at their timing they're very good at the timing you know like there's a quickness there's a some people like because you seem very enamored with crowd work and that is all timing like you have to be quick witted but for crowd work to really work well sometimes you don't want to say the thing you think of you know your instinct is to say it as fast as you can but really let it sit there for a second uh-huh
Marc:That's where you really see guys with great timing and quick wits is with crowd work.
Marc:And there's only a few guys that do it great.
Marc:And it's really something to watch.
Marc:I mean, I know how to do it, certainly.
Marc:But if you're a really good crowd work guy and you do that in your regular set,
Marc:you've got to figure out how to pace your written material because it's never going to balance out.
Guest:It's hard to go back.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So either you save it, but like a lot of people, I imagine it's like, this isn't going well.
Marc:What are you doing?
Marc:Where are you from?
Guest:Well, that's how I do it because when I'm on the road, I have to save myself a lot of times.
Guest:They prefer the crowd work from me than my jokes a lot of times.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Well, that's because you can do it and you've got, if you're good at it, it's a crutch.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, well, the thing about crowd work, though, I think is that I don't think people realize that it's like a developed skill.
Marc:Oh, no.
Marc:There's some guys who can't do it.
Marc:Louie won't do it.
Guest:He won't?
Marc:Mm-mm.
Guest:Ha ha.
Marc:When was the last time you saw him?
Marc:Like he used to actually be sort of like, it just, I don't, it's like he doesn't want to deal with it.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Right.
Marc:You know?
Guest:Well, that's the thing though, is that there's comics that will just do what they do regardless of, they don't care.
Guest:And I've always been a person that like, I'll, I'll just cave in.
Guest:I'll just start talking about my vagina if I have to.
Guest:Like, you know, I'll have, I'll just, I just got to survive up there somehow.
Marc:What do you need?
Marc:My pussy?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Here we go.
Guest:You know.
Marc:Yeah, I mean, I always, I was never, I never could quite be, like, because me even going like, all right, let me give you what you want, it was wrong.
Guest:Well, that's what I always think about comedians that are so good at being relatable.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Like, I could never do, people would stand up and be like, no, we don't do that.
Marc:Yeah, exactly.
Marc:We don't want to hear about your masturbation thing for an hour.
Marc:It's not relatable.
Marc:So I never had that.
Marc:I never could fake a regular life.
Guest:Well, you know what I always admired about you is that you could take teeny tiny little things.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And make them into stand up.
Marc:Big.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Break them open.
Guest:But that's like a really hard thing to do.
Marc:Well, not if you spend a lot of time.
Guest:Especially lots of times you're talking about the inside of your brain.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That's where I live a lot of times.
Guest:That's like a hard thing to do.
Marc:That's my home.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Marc:All right, so we gotta get you over this hump.
Marc:When did you have that baby?
Marc:How old's that baby?
Marc:The Voss baby?
Guest:Eight.
Marc:The Voss monster is eight?
Guest:I'm pretty sure she's eight.
Marc:Yeah?
Marc:And she's a great kid?
Guest:She's, yes, incredible.
Guest:She's an incredible kid.
Marc:So what was that?
Marc:Was that on purpose and everything?
Guest:yeah we did it in the front uh we said you know what let's try it this way um no she you know i wanted that was one of the things you know when um we knew we were gonna get married i was like well i gotta have a kid and um he was okay with that so he's got an older one he's got two older daughters and he told me everybody gets along you and his ex-wife we all get along that's great yes
Guest:I mean, his ex-wife was married and had a, maybe the baby was like two when I came into the, they wanted, they were happy to get rid of Rich.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Right.
Guest:Please take him off.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:He was hanging out at family dinners and whatnot.
Guest:So, yes, I was like a welcome.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Guest:Yeah, because he lives just, you know, they've moved now, his ex-wife and her new husband.
Guest:But we used to live like just a mile from them.
Marc:Yeah, so everyone was around.
Guest:Even when I had the baby, I didn't know who to show the baby to, so I took it over and took it.
Guest:That's how good of a parent I am.
Guest:I took this thing over there and I said, look what I did.
Guest:And she would come and help me with, you know, she'd had three kids at that point, four kids or something.
Marc:Two of his.
Marc:Yeah, so she came over and helped me.
Guest:She knew what you were up against.
Guest:Yeah, she gave me a little.
Marc:Did she teach you about him?
Guest:I remember we started to get along really early on because she said, if I'd known you, I like you, so I would have told you what a horrible person he is.
Guest:I would have warned you.
Marc:But he got better, I imagine.
Guest:Well, you know, everyone bonds over their mutual distaste for rich.
Guest:It's like a fun thing.
Guest:It's like sports.
Marc:Well, that's the weird thing about his presence in the New York comedy world and comedy in general is that, you know, he...
Marc:he's a very sweet guy and at the core of it all he's very sensitive but he's this weird mixture of like overly sensitive and very defensive which I guess is normal but like he lets his sense like you can really you know get a good shot in with him and then like you know at him you can bust his balls and sometimes like it'll take him a few seconds to regroup around it because he's like you know I don't know what it is about him but there's a humility to it that's very appealing
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, people are always like, you know, making fun of him that I'm going to leave him or whatever.
Guest:But the truth is, is that, you know, he out of all his friends, you know, he he's the only one that like married someone as challenging as me.
Guest:Like, you got to give him credit.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You know, I'm not the easiest person in the world to be married to.
Guest:You know, he stepped up.
Guest:It's like, I'll take it on.
Marc:But also like what I learned about him is that like, you know, in all his insecurity and his insanity or whatever he is like, you know, and I, you know, I remember first seeing him when I was still in Boston, you know, and he had like this weird ponytail and it's like greasy.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:But can I tell you, I saw a video of that, him doing a show like that.
Guest:And it was so sexy because there is something really sexy about a man who doesn't.
Guest:No, like he doesn't realize that is more confident than his looks.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Do you know what I mean?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:He was, you couldn't tell if he was Italian or not at that time.
Marc:You know, like it was, but you know, he's a standup guy, you know, it seems like he's come through a lot and sort of taken responsibility for himself.
Guest:He's very responsible.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That's not bad.
Guest:Not bad.
Guest:I mean, you know, there's trade-offs.
Guest:That's on the plus side.
Marc:But you don't feel compelled.
Marc:You wrote this book.
Marc:You don't feel compelled to do a one-person show about this life?
Guest:No.
Marc:So wait.
Guest:I mean, I got paid to do a book, so I had to write a book.
Guest:So I wrote the book.
Guest:And, you know, hopefully it's good and people like it.
Guest:But I still, you know, people are like, oh, now you're going to talk about it in your act and stuff.
Guest:I'm not really that kind of biographical.
Guest:autobiographical comedian I don't but do you even like it do you want to work as a comic I would love to get good no I would love to to
Marc:It's been 20 years.
Marc:I know.
Guest:It's a hard thing, isn't it?
Guest:It's like golf.
Guest:You never can master it.
Guest:But I want to put an hour special.
Guest:I want to do the hour special and then either one or two things will happen.
Guest:I'll just hang it up or it'll get easier for me.
Guest:I'll get my own audience to come out.
Marc:I know, but you've got to be stopping so hard on yourself.
Guest:I mean, yeah, that's the other thing is that I wish that I could just not care.
Marc:Well, it's not a matter of not caring.
Marc:It's like giving yourself a break.
Guest:Right.
Marc:You know, and it's like, and if you don't think a joke is working right, you live with a fucking comic who's a genius, right?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:So, like, tag it up.
Marc:Hey, Rich, I need a tag.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:How often does that happen?
Guest:No, it doesn't.
Guest:Huh.
Guest:Well, he doesn't, you know, Rich is sort of one-sided in that department.
Guest:Like, we can talk about his act for a long time.
Guest:Ha!
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:Like, I'll watch his set.
Guest:But I enjoy doing that, too.
Guest:Like, I like breaking down comedy.
Guest:I like talking about comedy and figuring it out.
Guest:And so I'll watch his set, and then on the way home, we'll talk about his set.
Marc:Yeah, and then when you're going to bed.
Guest:And then I'll be like, what about mine?
Guest:He was like, it's fine.
Guest:But that's, you know.
Marc:What if you paid him as a writer?
Marc:For his time.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Yeah, to sit down.
Marc:It's hard.
Marc:It's really hard to get involved with each other's act.
Marc:But what was your experience with that last comic standing business?
Marc:Horrible?
Guest:Yeah, no, I didn't enjoy it.
Guest:That's not a good thing for me.
Guest:For some comedians, it's great.
Guest:I was really bad at doing the interviews.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I wanted to be funny in the interviews, and they just want you to, like, you know.
Marc:Yeah, to play it up.
Guest:To whatever, and they took stuff out of context and, you know, whatever.
Marc:But you like being a mom.
Guest:I love being a mom.
Marc:And you're now, like, at some point your neighbors are gonna, they must know what you do.
Guest:They do know now.
Guest:I mean, they used to always introduce me.
Guest:They'd say, um...
Guest:It's Rich Voss's wife.
Guest:Do you know who this is?
Guest:This is Rich Voss's wife.
Guest:Now they sometimes will say I'm a comedian.
Guest:So I'm getting there slowly.
Marc:It bothers me that you're hobbled by this insecurity, this self-flagellating insecurity.
Guest:Well, it comes in waves.
Marc:Well, I'm excited for you.
Marc:The book is funny, and My Wife Hates Me is the podcast.
Marc:Is that weekly?
Marc:Yep.
Marc:How's it going?
Guest:It's fine.
Marc:Are you active with your kid's school?
Guest:No, I don't do that stuff.
Marc:Well, what do you do?
Marc:What are you doing?
Marc:What do you mean?
Marc:When you sit at home?
Guest:I just wrote a book.
Guest:Is that not good enough for you?
Guest:I do stand up a lot.
Guest:I write a lot.
Guest:I have writing jobs.
Marc:Where do you work?
Marc:Is that a seller mostly?
Guest:No, mostly at the stand.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So people can see you at the stand?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I've always liked your comedy.
Marc:I think you're funny.
Guest:Thank you.
Marc:It's quite an endorsement.
Marc:What are you talking about?
Marc:Are you being sarcastic?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Why?
Guest:I have a hard time taking compliments.
Guest:So thank you.
Marc:Fine.
Marc:It's nice talking to you.
Guest:Nice talking to you too.
Marc:That's it.
Marc:That's it.
Marc:That's all.
Marc:Isn't Bonnie great?
Marc:Isn't she great?
Marc:I want her to be more confident.
Marc:God damn it.
Marc:So, yeah, go get her book.
Marc:Go watch her movie.
Marc:Go listen to her and Rich on their podcast.
Marc:Also, as I said, the new WTF mugs are available from Brian Jones today.
Marc:They go on sale at 12 noon Eastern, 9 a.m.
Marc:Pacific.
Marc:Go to brianrjones.com.
Marc:Go to wtfpod.com.
Marc:On Thursday, I got Dweezil Zappa coming in.
Marc:Yes, I did date his sister.
Marc:And yes, it was a great talk.
Marc:What else?
Marc:Hal.fm for the archives.
Marc:I don't know if you guys know this, but no ads in the archives, people.
Marc:You can go to wtfpod.com for the links to that.
Marc:Also watch my special more later on Hulu and Amazon.
Marc:Look, I try to tune my guitar.
Marc:I do tune my guitar before I do this.
Marc:...
Marc:Boomer Lives!