Episode 665 - Horatio Sanz
Guest:Lock the gates!
Marc:All right, let's do this.
Marc:How are you, what the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fucksters?
Marc:What the fuckadelics?
Marc:What's happening?
Marc:Where are we at?
Marc:I'm Mark Maron.
Marc:This is WTF.
Marc:This is my podcast.
Marc:Thank you for joining me today on the show.
Marc:Horatio Sands from, you know, I'm from SNL and from places.
Marc:He's got a...
Marc:podcast called the Horatio over there on earwolf and well let's let's get up to speed let's talk about the anxiety for a minute because I have to apologize to many of you some of you who are my friends if you listen you know some of you who are my friends who listen to this occasionally and but it probably muted me on Twitter I'm okay all right I'm not gonna do any investigating I'm about done I'm about out but I'm about out
Marc:I'm going off the Twitter grid, but this is the Christmas holiday Hanukkah seasonal things happening around getting Christmas cards from people that I don't know, or maybe I just don't know them anymore.
Marc:Perhaps it's gotten to that point where I'm like, is that that kid all grown up?
Marc:Who are these people?
Marc:That doesn't look like the same husband.
Marc:That's not the same wife.
Marc:Where'd those three kids come from?
Marc:It's strange how Christmas cards change.
Marc:But I think I'm getting some from people I don't know unless my memory is really fucked up.
Marc:The point I'm trying to make is I do nothing.
Marc:I do nothing, and I'm embarrassed about it.
Marc:I don't send out cards.
Marc:I did when I was with different women who would get sort of a jump on it.
Marc:Let's do this.
Marc:Let's send a few out.
Marc:I do nothing, and I feel bad about it.
Marc:I didn't send out any cards, and I feel bad if people get cards.
Marc:I didn't have a holiday party.
Marc:I didn't light one goddamn Hanukkah candle.
Marc:And I don't know if it's important.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:Like I was thinking about this this morning.
Marc:Like I know that when people get things, they're like, oh, they sent a thing.
Marc:But if you don't get it or you like that, fucker, then send a thing.
Marc:If you haven't established that you're sending things.
Marc:But I'm bad, man.
Marc:I mean, I don't send my nephews or nieces anything.
Marc:I don't send my parents anything.
Marc:I don't send my brother anything.
Marc:Some part of me thinks that this podcast is enough, that it covers everything.
Marc:If anyone in my family listens, Merry stuff, Happy Hanukkah.
Marc:I didn't send a thing.
Marc:I barely get my, if I'm with a woman, which I am,
Marc:I have to remember to get them shit.
Marc:It's so I don't know if it's selfish or I really just don't.
Marc:I'd like to frame it that, you know, like holidays are bullshit.
Marc:But no matter how you no matter how many times you say that, then you got to sell that to the person that you're not buying presents for or not acknowledging.
Marc:I mean, and I've been through a lot here at the house.
Marc:I mean, I've had Christmas trees in there, people.
Marc:I've had Christmas lights.
Marc:I've lit candles.
Marc:A lot of things have gone on in there, holiday related.
Marc:There's been decorating.
Marc:There's been many presents.
Marc:There's been no presents.
Marc:But now I just, I don't even think about it.
Marc:What the fuck am I thinking about if I'm not thinking about the holidays?
Marc:I didn't watch the Democratic debate.
Marc:I didn't go see Star Wars.
Marc:I, you know, I knew it was coming.
Marc:I knew everything was happening.
Marc:What am I fucking doing with my time?
Marc:Well, you know, have a safe holiday and
Marc:Try to be kind to the people in your life, even the ones that you have no choice about, even the ones that are annoying.
Marc:Give people a little card or a piece of cake or something.
Marc:It makes a big difference.
Marc:Say thank you.
Marc:If you get a present for somebody, don't linger.
Marc:And then talk them out of, you know, I just had that happen yesterday.
Marc:I bought a hat, some gloves, because we're going to go on a chilly trip for a few days.
Marc:And Sarah did not give me the response that I was waiting for, so I bullied her, basically.
Marc:Well, you know, if you don't, you can take them back if you want.
Marc:Hey, if you're not going to wear them,
Marc:I mean, if it's not your style, I mean, if it doesn't, does it fit?
Marc:Do they fit?
Marc:Is it something you're going to wear?
Marc:I mean, I just bought those.
Marc:And if you're just going to put them in a drawer somewhere.
Marc:And I put things in drawers all the time and never look at them.
Marc:Wow, that swag, though.
Marc:But I just sort of like, well, are you to the point where she's like, no, no, no.
Marc:And she bought me a beautiful Filson duffel bag.
Marc:Now, granted, I did pay for this little adventure we're going on, but that's not the point.
Marc:It's about giving.
Marc:But it's not only about giving.
Marc:It's about the person you're giving to to act excited, surprised, perhaps use or wear what you got them as immediately as possible, even if it's only once.
Marc:It's about maybe bringing it up again and going like, wow, these are really great.
Marc:This is really great.
Marc:I remember years ago...
Marc:I had bought a girlfriend a sweater and it was not her style at all.
Marc:It was not anything she would wear.
Marc:And in my mind, I had somehow convinced myself because that's what you do in that moment.
Marc:You have a moment with a thing and you're like, oh, that's an amazing thing.
Marc:That's beautiful.
Marc:I'm going to get that for her because in my mind, I'll make her into the person that wears that.
Marc:I'll make him into the person that wears that.
Marc:I don't think that's your...
Marc:intention but this sweater was completely years ago and i she took it out of the box and she was like what am i going to do with this and i i thought i don't know maybe you know wear it until it gets ratty and shitty like your other clothes and then it'll be perfect because it'll look like an old one of those sweaters but i think in my mind i wanted her to be the kind of person that wore that sweater and
Marc:And that's where Al-Anon comes in 40 years later.
Marc:However many years it took me to understand that shit.
Marc:I'm not promoting anything here, folks.
Marc:Just don't buy presents for people with hopes that they'll fit your expectations of those gifts.
Marc:Does that make sense?
Marc:Does it?
Marc:Let me give you a brief synopsis or a little bit of what I know the last time I talked to you was Monday morning or maybe Sunday night in Chicago about to shoot this amazing thing I did with Joe Swanberg, who's just a great guy.
Marc:and like a nice guy, not an affected guy, decent fella, and an amazingly gifted film director.
Marc:And he's a complete auteur.
Marc:He does his own thing entirely, and it has its own style and feel.
Marc:And I love the guy.
Marc:I loved him before he hired me.
Marc:And it's all improvising.
Marc:And I know that you've seen shows that are like that where it's sort of like, yeah, it's all improvised.
Marc:It's kind of intense, man.
Marc:To just go.
Marc:And I was working with Jane Addams.
Marc:Jane fucking Addams.
Marc:I love Jane Addams.
Marc:What a great actress.
Marc:And so funny.
Marc:She's one of those people.
Marc:You know there's people in your lives.
Marc:I've had a few people on this show like that.
Marc:I just feel like I've known my whole fucking life.
Marc:I don't know why.
Marc:Well Jane Addams is one of those people.
Marc:And we improvised these scenes.
Marc:She was my best friend.
Marc:It was amazing.
Marc:And then I did those scenes with Emily Ratajkowski.
Marc:And those turned out to be great.
Marc:Because it was exactly what Swanberg wanted, this gaping age difference.
Marc:Let's see how Mark does a character engaging with 25-year-olds.
Marc:Andrew Batchelor, who's a comedian, was another one of the younger people.
Marc:But...
Marc:I had a great time and improvising like that, because then you have to improvise when it's really all improvised.
Marc:And all you're going with is what needs sort of the things you have to what sort of needs to happen in the scene is that you go through emotions that are surprising to you.
Marc:I mean, like I chose not to control my emotions and move through sort of the interactions with whoever I'm working with.
Marc:And it was sort of a sort of mind blowing.
Marc:To realize that, yes, yes, I'm old.
Marc:I'm 52 years old.
Marc:It's not old, old, but but there's a difference, you know, generational differences, exciting things.
Marc:I don't know what I'm trying to tell you.
Marc:I'm just trying to tell you that the act what you're seeing when you see this thing is like actual immediate emotional reacting.
Marc:to other actors without really knowing where it's going to go.
Marc:And I know I do that a lot.
Marc:I do that on stage.
Marc:I do that here and there.
Marc:I do it right now.
Marc:I'm doing it right now.
Marc:And as you know, for those of you who are still listening, this sometimes can just spiral off into nothing.
Marc:But not usually when there's another person here.
Marc:But anyways, it was a great time and a great experience.
Marc:I want to thank Joe Swanberg and all the people involved with that thing because it was really the first thing I had ever done like that.
Marc:Yeah, I do my own TV show, but it was great to be working with a guy who you trust, a good guy, doing something exciting and new.
Marc:Do that if you can, maybe over the holidays.
Marc:Huh?
Marc:Right now, it's my pleasure to have my guest here in the garage.
Marc:I'm going to talk to the very funny and decent Horatio Sands.
Marc:Finally, dude.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Right?
Guest:Pleasure to be here.
Marc:It's nice to see you.
Marc:I mean, I canceled, you canceled.
Marc:I mean, it was like, but like not just once.
Marc:And what is, we've been trying to do this for a year?
Marc:At least.
Marc:Maybe three.
Marc:Has it been that long?
Marc:What happened last time?
Marc:It sounded pretty interesting.
Marc:It sounded like some international intrigue.
Marc:The last time you canceled, there was some issues with your green card.
Guest:Oh, yeah, that's right.
Guest:I had to get my green card renewed.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:So I had to go to New York and be there.
Guest:They wouldn't take any kind of submission online or anything.
Marc:Is that true?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Is that the first time you've had to have it renewed?
Guest:No, I think it's every 10 years.
Guest:So was it a surprise to you?
Guest:Like, oh, fuck.
Guest:It's never a surprise, but it is like the only thing that's kind of serious in my life.
Guest:Like, shit, I got to get this done or else they're going to kick me out of here.
Guest:And then you have to go back to where?
Guest:To Chile, I guess.
Guest:And I don't really know Chile, so that'd be kind of weird.
Guest:So how does that work?
Guest:How are you not a citizen?
Guest:Not that I don't want you here.
Guest:No, thank you.
Guest:No, my parents just, they conceived me in Chicago and I had two older brothers at the time.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And they were like, well, let's just go back and have him be born Chilean also.
Guest:So he won't be the different one.
Marc:They flew back to have you?
Guest:They flew back to Chile to have me born a Chilean citizen.
Guest:And then they flew back to Chicago.
Guest:Yes.
Yes.
Guest:Like two months after they were born.
Marc:If they just had you here, it would have been okay.
Marc:You would have been a citizen.
Marc:I would have been a citizen, yeah.
Marc:That doesn't seem like... Now I can't be president.
Marc:Nah, by the time... Yeah, you could.
Marc:I wasn't born here, though.
Guest:You can't be president if you're born here, if you're not born here.
Marc:Well, I'm sorry.
Marc:Was that a big disappointment for you, or...?
Guest:Well, think about it.
Guest:When you're growing up, you want to have that option open.
Guest:Sure.
Marc:I never did.
Marc:Did it cause you a lot of trouble?
Marc:Did you think it made you self-sabotage or have an anger issue or anything, not being able to be president?
Marc:It may have.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It may be why I have a rebellious spirit.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:Maybe we got to the bottom of it this quickly.
Marc:That's awesome.
Marc:I don't know what else we have to talk about.
Marc:Yeah, let's just load this up to commercial and get out of here.
Marc:So you've never spent any time in Chile?
Guest:I did when I was five.
Guest:They tried to move back.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah, so I spent a year at school, and I think it was first grade.
Marc:They tried to move back.
Guest:But by then, my older brothers really missed America, so we went back.
Marc:Your parents seem to be a little waffling.
Marc:You can't commit to a decision, really.
Guest:Well, they're Chilean immigrants, so when they came to the United States, their options weren't as... They didn't have as many options as they did in Chile.
Guest:Right.
Guest:What'd they do there?
Guest:Well, my dad was...
Guest:what did my my dad taught school in brazil i mean in venezuela and in chile and my mother worked as a nurse at a hospital and when they came here none of that mattered right so my dad worked at a hotel as a bartender uh-huh a waiter yeah my mother worked at a factory making lottery tickets making lottery tickets yeah like those those scratch opens that sure like from uh portland yeah you know yeah those the scratch things yeah she made the scratch things
Marc:With the little things you rub off with a coin or your finger, depending on how desperate you are.
Marc:Fuck, I don't have a coin.
Marc:You're a pick.
Marc:Everything's hanging on this.
Marc:This is it.
Marc:It's the last dollar on this scratch card.
Marc:And really, that's what they did your entire childhood?
Guest:Yeah, pretty much.
Guest:And then when I was in high school, my dad started going back to college because he had a college degree from Chile that didn't transfer, so he went to college and became a drug counselor for a little bit.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Before he retired, yeah.
Guest:Interesting.
Guest:Just out of nowhere, or did somebody?
Guest:He just kind of always wanted to and finally just had enough time and was retiring, and so he did that.
Guest:And you have two older brothers?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:What'd they end up doing?
Guest:Well, my brother Steve ended up, he was running, he bought a dating service, and he was running that in Vegas.
Guest:An internet dating service?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And this is before the internet.
Guest:No, it was before.
Guest:It was videotaped.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So he was getting the, you know, like people would make, like, hey, my name's John.
Marc:Yeah, what's your favorite thing to do on a date?
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Stuff like that.
Marc:Was this a national service or something local?
Marc:It was Chicago mostly, and then it was Vegas.
Marc:What happened to it when it went to Vegas?
Marc:Sounds like it got dodgy.
Marc:It wasn't quite hard to define whether it was just a dating service.
Guest:Oh, well, the problem may have lied in the fact that it wasn't a full dating service.
Guest:It was a real dating service.
Guest:Fizzled out?
Guest:It fizzled out, yeah.
Guest:Then he did some stuff with real estate, and then now I think he's working.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:What happened to all those great videos of desperate people looking for love?
Guest:They're in my parents' garage.
Guest:Oh, good.
Guest:He kept them, huh?
Marc:Yeah, we got them.
Marc:You should digitize those fuckers.
Marc:See how those people are doing.
Marc:Put those on WikiLeaks.
Marc:Sure, man.
Marc:Just put them on YouTube.
Marc:Hey, remember that?
Guest:That'd be so terrible.
Marc:Oh, boxes of videotapes sitting in garages.
Marc:You got any of those?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I made them, too.
Guest:I used to ask the questions.
Guest:We both worked for the guy who owned it in Chicago, and then he ended up buying the business from the guy in Chicago.
Marc:Oh, yeah, so you were in the position of the executive.
Marc:You were the casting guy.
Guest:Yeah, I was casting.
Guest:I was directing.
Guest:I was the whole, yeah, directing.
Marc:Hey, could you look less desperate?
Guest:More like... Yeah, sometimes I would say, like, yeah, relax.
Guest:You're sweating a lot.
Guest:Maybe turn off the heat here.
Guest:I mean, turn on the air conditioning and get them kind of ready.
Guest:How old were you when that was happening?
Guest:I was 20, 21, 22.
Guest:What's the other brother up to?
Guest:He's an actor, and he does mostly serious films and shows.
Guest:So he's out here?
Guest:Yeah, he's out here.
Guest:He lives between Koreatown and Larchmont over there.
Guest:He plays drug dealers in a lot of stuff.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because he's swarthy and handsome and tall.
Guest:And South American.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So that works for him.
Guest:Not a typecast situation.
Guest:Has he done some big movies?
Guest:He did that one with Stray Them where he needs to be in a car.
Guest:He's on a car and he can't stop the whole time.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:He's got a mechanical heart.
Guest:No, he has some kind of drug has been given to him where he has to keep his heart rate above a certain.
Marc:Oh, am I making it up that there is some sort of ticking time bomb that if his heart doesn't like there's I thought it was a mechanical heart or something that it was not a realistic movie.
Marc:No, I wasn't.
Marc:He had to plug a car battery into his heart.
Guest:Am I making that up?
Guest:At some point, I think he did have to do something like that.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I saw parts of that movie.
Guest:I'm not sure he's got a mechanical heart, but he's definitely dealing with some kind of new drug that's been invented by some bad guys.
Marc:Or maybe they took his heart out or something, and they put- I put a fake one in it?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Maybe.
Guest:I forget the details of it.
Marc:But I remember the bad guys were Asian in that, kind of.
Marc:Well, maybe you're making up the movies then.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:This one's Crank.
Marc:This one's called Crank.
Marc:Yeah, that was the one I saw.
Guest:Well, maybe you thought my brother looked Asian.
Marc:No, no, he was another guy.
Marc:There was another guy, a big guy that gets into a big sort of fight and he's got guns.
Guest:No, my brother's the pimp.
Guest:He's not a pimp, but he was the drug dealer.
Guest:He fell out of a window and into a pool and died.
Guest:Oh, yeah, like a real good send-off.
Guest:Oh, shit.
Marc:It must be the movie I saw.
Marc:How many movies where he's got to keep his heart rate up?
Marc:It's like, no, that's not the one where he's got the electric heart or the battery heart.
Guest:Well, this is what we thought about Fast and the Furious 12 films later.
Guest:Maybe that was, I'm thinking of Crank 2?
Guest:You might be, yeah.
Marc:Maybe you're right.
Marc:I got to get caught up on that shit.
Marc:I miss everything.
Marc:So Chicago's a fucking great city.
Guest:I've grown to appreciate it.
Guest:Yeah, I liked a lot of it.
Guest:And mostly, you know, the arts kind of flourished there.
Guest:Right.
Guest:For me, they kind of...
Guest:The idea that Second City was in the same town that I was in was always exciting.
Guest:When did you become aware of that, though?
Guest:I was little because of SNL.
Guest:I used to watch SNL with my brothers in their room.
Guest:How much older are they?
Guest:They're six and nine years older.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:So you were an accident.
Guest:Yeah, I'm an accident for sure.
Guest:A happy accident.
Marc:Catholic accident.
Marc:They weren't really Catholic.
Marc:See, I just made an assumption.
Marc:Chilean, Spanish, Catholic.
Marc:I think we should have been, but my father was agnostic.
Marc:Oh, that's good.
Guest:I'm pretty strongly against religion.
Guest:Oh, really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That's fucking beautiful.
Marc:It's nice to hear that.
Marc:Yeah, so I had that too.
Marc:From someone of a Latino background.
Marc:Is it still Latino?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Am I being condescending?
Marc:No.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:And it's coming up a lot.
Guest:What is?
Guest:Latino?
Guest:Latino.
Guest:What is it?
Guest:Latino or Hispanic?
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:I guess Hispanic means that it's derived from Spain, and Latino is all different.
Marc:oh spanish broader more broad again and everybody else south america yeah but hispanic can fall under the latino umbrella yes oh so hispanic's out uh not really no no but it's i think latino is the better yeah you might not just not take any chances yes and if somebody gets defensive and goes i'm hispanic you're like no you're a racist
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Because you want to separate yourself from the rest of the Latino people.
Guest:Or you can say Horatio says Latino's cool now.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:You're dated, retro.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:With your Hispanic.
Marc:Why don't you just say you're a cholo.
Marc:Is that still in, Cholos?
Marc:Are there still Cholos?
Guest:Yeah, there are.
Guest:And they still call themselves Cholos?
Guest:I think so.
Guest:I think there's a Cholo pride.
Guest:Right now they get bad rep, though.
Guest:No, yeah.
Guest:Because they just brain people at Dodger Stadium.
Marc:Oh, did that happen?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I grew up in New Mexico.
Marc:I was there at the birth of the neo-Cholo renaissance.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:Sure.
Marc:Back when it came back.
Marc:Like, I think it was, like, I don't know if it was just invented in the 70s, but, like, there was a period where there was a lot of disco going on, a lot of familari shoes, platform shoes, leather jackets, feather haircuts, and then, boom, all of a sudden, you know, just the work shirts with the T-shirts underneath, top button button, bandanas, chinos.
Marc:Yeah, like an L.A.
Marc:biker kind of thing.
Marc:Yeah, and that was, and then it was, like, over.
Marc:Disco was done, cholos were here.
Marc:Yeah, and they've stayed.
Marc:Oh, that stuck.
Marc:I prefer it to the feather haircuts.
Marc:I never liked it that much.
Guest:Well, there's a big struggle in the neighborhood for them to retain.
Guest:They're the indigenous people over there, and they were kind of taken out by Dodger Stadium, and now they're being taken out by people who gentrify.
Guest:Everything.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You mean white people.
Guest:Say it, white people.
Guest:No, well, I'm part of the problem, too, I guess.
Guest:I felt that right when you got here.
Guest:I'm torn.
Guest:I don't know if I should spray paint the yoga studio or join it.
Guest:Someone did tag the studio there by the house.
Guest:Where do you live?
Guest:Around here?
Guest:I live in Echo Park.
Guest:oh okay so you're right over there by dodger stadium yeah bought a house no i rent the house oh well you're not really part of the problem then you're just sort of like i'm just renting man yeah exactly yeah yeah talk to the owner but the owner did want like a latino person in the house cover his ass yeah so i had to kind of like i had to kind of latino it up with his mom and stuff oh so he's latino yeah oh then it's cool that's not gentrification
Guest:Yeah, he has a weird obsession, though, with it.
Guest:With what?
Guest:He's always, like, with the Latino.
Guest:He's from Peru.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:But he kind of identifies with the Latinos in Echo Park.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so he's always saying, like, oh, yeah, man.
Marc:you gotta watch out yeah i got shot at the gas station dude like those kind of instructions are just sort of like just you gotta be paranoid man all the time you never know where it's coming from that's exactly you have to take a walk
Marc:Getting gas.
Guest:Boom.
Guest:Yeah, I saw a guy threatening it.
Guest:There's this 50-year-old white dude in a Volkswagen, and this kid on a bike was like, I'll come back and shoot you.
Guest:And the guy was like, what the fuck?
Marc:He couldn't believe it that someone would say that.
Guest:but he didn't come back he didn't come back no one stuck around though we all took off so you're oh so your your brothers were that much older so you're a kid and they're watching snl i wonder what do you remember what season it was that you first saw uh well it was probably like 78 probably 77 so early you how old are you i'm 40 i'll be 47 oh so you're close to my age i'm 50 just turned 52 so that was like bill murray maybe
Guest:Bill Murray, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, Bill Murray and the Wild and Crazy Guys.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I ate all that up, and then they used to show them on Wednesday evenings at 7.30.
Guest:They'd do the best of the week.
Guest:Oh, right.
Guest:So they would do a little shortened version of it.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So that's where mostly I would watch and then do those bits at school the next day and that kind of thing.
Guest:Yeah, what were your first impressions of impressions?
Guest:Well, my first impression was Robert Stack, which is an impression of Dan Aykroyd's Robert Stack.
Guest:I want to know what's going on.
Guest:I want to know now.
Guest:You are listening to Unsolved Mysteries.
Guest:That's my Robert Stack.
Guest:That's good.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:And you were like, what, 12?
Guest:No, no.
Guest:At 78, I was eight.
Guest:Wow.
Marc:Or seven.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I was about 13 when I saw the first season of SNL, and it had an effect on me.
Marc:Did it blow you away or no?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I used to do the falls at school.
Marc:I never did voices, but Chevy Chase, I used to set up sort of fairly elaborate ways to fall down.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Would you throw your books down the stairs and stuff?
Marc:I think it wasn't surprise falls.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know, I tried to do it, you know, in a way that was just funny.
Marc:So, like, we'd set it up.
Marc:It probably would have been better if I figured out how to do it.
Guest:Me and my friends, we were throwing books on the floor and stumbling downstairs.
Guest:Oh, that's good.
Guest:And the other students were like, what the?
Guest:Yeah, and if someone comes by and says, hey, knock it off, it's like, oh, I fell.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Guest:So you were a Chevy Chase fan, too?
Marc:Yes.
Guest:Yeah, I was a fan of all of it.
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And you knew then at eight that you're like, this is my future?
Guest:Not really, but I did really fall in love with making people laugh.
Guest:I think I did little entertainment things for my parents, and I remember hanging out with my brother's friends and their girlfriends, and I would make the girls laugh, so I knew that I was on the right track.
Marc:Did they used to get you stoned like older brothers would get a cat stoned or something?
Guest:No, my oldest brother's a real straight, true blue guy, so he wouldn't do that.
Guest:He'd protect me.
Guest:Oh, from the other brother?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:The other brother would do that.
Guest:My other brother made me drink like a quarter bottle of vodka one time.
Guest:uh how old were you at that time i was probably like 12 and he's like if you drink that vodka it was new year's eve if you drink that vodka i'll give you five bucks and i did and he didn't and you threw up i threw up yeah good times it's always a good first drinking story yeah i guess that's it and so you're entertaining your parents with voices and did you set up shows and have the family sit on the couch that kind of shit
Guest:Yeah, that kind of shit.
Guest:They would be in bed and we would come into their doorframe as different characters and try to make them laugh.
Guest:Oh, that's good.
Guest:Make a beard with cotton balls and stuff like that.
Guest:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And did you get some laughs?
Guest:I did.
Guest:I did.
Guest:And it kept happening.
Guest:So, you know, there was a time where I didn't think it was believable.
Guest:I didn't think that it could be accomplished, that kind of thing.
Marc:What, to get a job in show business?
Guest:To get a job in show business, yeah.
Guest:So what did you set out to do instead initially?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was thinking about joining the CIA because I spoke fluent Spanish.
Guest:I thought I could be used.
Guest:Was this sort of like a patriotic duty or just thought it would be cool?
Guest:Maybe it was because I've never been an American, so to speak.
Guest:Maybe I was trying to do my part.
Marc:Yeah, you weren't just intrigued with the idea of being a spook?
Marc:A spy?
Marc:Well, you know, I think they call them spooks.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:You know, the guys who, well, see, a spy is one thing, but the spooks are the ones that go down to places like Chile and overthrow the government.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Okay, then, yeah, I would have been on board for something like that.
Guest:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, I was a little Reaganite.
Guest:You're a little late on the Allende thing.
Guest:The Allende thing, I was, you know, the story on Allende, I didn't get it straight at first.
Guest:Your parents must have lived through that shit.
Guest:They actually left before that.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Good for them, I think.
Guest:I don't think because of it, but it just happened that way.
Marc:Well, he was one of the good guys, right?
Marc:He was the guy that socialized the copper industry.
Marc:And then the Nixon administration said, fuck that guy.
Marc:Let's take him out.
Marc:Let's send a couple of CIA guys down there who speak Spanish.
Marc:to take out the good guy.
Marc:Some Horatio types.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Have you got a funny dude that can get into the presidential palace with his charm and jokes?
Marc:Some guy maybe does a cotton ball beard.
Guest:I can still do that, by the way.
Guest:I know Obama listens.
Guest:He did the one time he was in here.
Guest:And that might be the extent of it.
Guest:The president sat in this chair.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's pretty great.
Guest:It is.
Guest:He left his cup.
Guest:You're going to have to leave this thing to the Smithsonian.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Or maybe they could just build a replica.
Marc:I'll donate some stuff.
Marc:Just the stuff, but not the whole desk.
Marc:Yeah, I mean, they can have this stuff, but I think that it'd be just as credible if they... I don't think it'd be easy to sort of manufacture a replica of this.
Marc:A lot of shit here that's kind of one of a kind.
Guest:Absolutely.
Marc:Like that hammer, that half a hammer, that had to be removed.
Marc:They're like, that can't stay with the president.
Marc:Is this a murder weapon?
Marc:Yeah, the knife had to go.
Marc:yeah they were like that goes out yeah a lot of stuff had to be clean it up a little in here so no scissors no scissors they didn't know what i was capable of in a moment of desperation isn't that fun yeah it was cool secret service they were cool i had the same thought though when i met the president at snell yeah i'm like wow i can change the world right now i had profound fantasies of assassinating carl rove
Marc:when i was uh doing air america radio we actually were at the uh 2004 republican convention covering up covering it from inside and we were just sort of like you know on a break or it was before after the show and we were in this back room and carl rove was just walking by no protection i'm like if i was uh if i knew more about toxins i could have prepared for this
Marc:I had this fantasy of like having some sort of toxin that I'd made myself immune to on my hand and I shook his hand and then moments later he had a horrendous coronary and I just slipped out the back door as no explanation and I would have saved, I would have probably saved the country because he was the guy running things for that four years.
Marc:You would have saved a lot of trouble.
Guest:We're not saying it's cool to assassinate people.
Marc:No, no, no.
Guest:It's not cool.
Marc:We're saying that at times it's necessary.
Marc:Clearly not in the case of Allende.
Marc:Chile might have been okay with Allende.
Marc:But Karl Rove, I think arguably a lot of people would side with me.
Marc:I didn't do it.
Marc:It was a fantasy.
Marc:And I don't think there's anything wrong with using your imagination for that type of stuff.
Marc:No.
Marc:What are you going to do?
Guest:Tell your brain to stop working?
Marc:That's right.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Just censor myself like that?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Creative ways that could never happen to kill people?
Marc:We have to explore every option as human beings.
Marc:But you didn't go that far.
Marc:You realized that if you were a dark, evil man in that moment, you could just... Yes.
Guest:I could have snuck in with any kind of metal object because I was in the show that week.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:You could have been part of the sketch.
Guest:I could have gone to my dressing room, grabbed something and put it in my costume.
Guest:I was dressed as SpongeBob.
Marc:Oh, Spongebob could be dangerous.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, there's a lot of stuff to put in a Spongebob.
Marc:And then, like, maybe if you did it, like, everyone would think it's part of a sketch, and you could, like, get away in that secret elevator.
Guest:Oh, yeah, I know my way around there.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, from my years of working there.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like John Wilkes Booth.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:I know my way around there.
Yeah.
Marc:He knew his way around.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I was there, though, when I saw the opening show this season.
Marc:That was the only time I've ever been there.
Marc:That's a show.
Marc:And Hillary Clinton appeared and they were it was heavy security.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:A lot of Secret Service.
Marc:A lot of guys looking around.
Marc:You know, with that thing in their ear.
Marc:That didn't happen when the president was there?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, there were people there.
Marc:I think it's safe to say it was a good call not to.
Guest:Yeah, very good call on my part not to.
Guest:Because I tried to take a video of Paul McCartney rehearsing.
Guest:On your phone?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:At SNL?
Guest:At SNL.
Guest:When you were on the cast?
Guest:No, no.
Guest:I came back later.
Guest:And I'm like, oh, Paul McCartney's rehearsing.
Guest:So I got in and I watched it.
Guest:And I would take a video of it.
Guest:And some guy was like, give me your phone.
Yeah.
Guest:And you're like, I was on the show.
Guest:He's like, I don't care.
Guest:Give me your phone.
Guest:And he went through my phone and like.
Guest:But that wasn't Secret Service.
Guest:That's just what they do now.
Guest:That's just his Paul McCartney's guy.
Guest:The Obama's guys were great.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Take all the pictures you want.
Marc:So, all right.
Marc:So you were going to be in the CIA.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:When did that dream die?
Guest:When my brother in college started doing plays.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:He started doing plays in college.
Marc:The actor.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he started getting a little notoriety in Chicago theater, and I was like, oh, wow, okay, this can happen.
Guest:My brother doesn't have a job.
Guest:He was really just an actor.
Guest:And so that kind of inspired me to go for it.
Guest:Is he funny?
Guest:He's not that funny.
Guest:He's funny, but he's not that funny.
Guest:My other brother is the funnier brother.
Guest:The dating service real estate guy who might be working?
Marc:Yeah, the middle brother.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:He sounds like a funny guy.
Marc:It's easier to be funny when things don't always go right.
Marc:It's the only thing you can do.
Marc:You're either going to go that direction or you're going to get depressed and angry.
Guest:Well, I think he had the middle child thing, too.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You know, when I came, then, oh, everybody loves the baby.
Marc:Oh, look, a little baby.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And he just got overlooked.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Older brother was almost on his own.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Middle brother was, like, upstaged by your ass.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Tough break.
Guest:But he was good, though.
Guest:It was kind of like having a friend in prison.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, he kind of knew all the...
Guest:he knew all you know like the bad stuff you know how to break in the cars and stuff yeah yeah yeah he'd burned his hair once setting a car on fire for some mobster really uh yeah so like he was definitely in a gang when he was in high school oh yeah and yeah yeah and then he then he straightened out and he's okay now he's okay now yeah so did you go to college i did i went to oh that's your kid what is that that's a kid
Marc:that's a real kid it's not a kitty oh yeah i don't know what it's doing in my backyard oops that was my neighbor's kid they don't have a yard that just sort of it's sort of sad and sweet in a way they just have that deck out there so this kid has been you know grown up from zero to like four or five or whatever she is now just playing on that deck
Marc:They have a little pool out there.
Guest:She never crawls out down the hill?
Marc:No, that hill's treacherous.
Marc:The people that owned that place before, they pulled up all the shrubbery from that hill and then mud slid it away.
Marc:And now they can't ever sell that house because they have to rebuild it.
Marc:They got to put it on, whatever.
Marc:So they got to put stilts on it.
Marc:No, the house is fine, but the actual hill needs to be retaining walled.
Marc:But we don't talk about it.
Guest:Are you okay?
Guest:Are we okay?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I hope it doesn't rain.
Guest:No, I'm okay.
Guest:I left my tree in.
Marc:They better take some pictures of this desk before the avalanche.
Marc:Maybe that's what they'll put in the Smithsonian.
Marc:Thank God the president wasn't here when this happened.
Marc:Tragedy.
Marc:Yeah, the Los Angeles.
Marc:A tough, close call for the president who was there years earlier.
Marc:Just missed it.
Marc:Could have changed the world.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So you're in college.
Guest:Which college?
Guest:Columbia College in Chicago.
Guest:That's a good one.
Guest:Yeah, I was maybe going to work in film, television, maybe behind the scenes in movies.
Guest:That's what your plan was?
Guest:That was my plan.
Guest:Taking classes and holding things?
Guest:Holding cameras and working at a TV station.
Marc:Yeah, coffee came out good.
Guest:yeah it really did yeah i agree um yeah and so they had did they have a tv station at the college they did and then i realized kind of quickly that well that wasn't really that good with uh technical technical stuff and then around that same time i took an acting class and then around that same time i saw a show at second city right on that show improv olympic oh at improv olympic anyone we know
Guest:Um, no, no.
Guest:Joel Murray, I'd been recently doing stuff there.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:And Dave Pasquese, who's now pretty well regarded as an improv guru.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:And so I saw it, and they were great and fun, and I figured, I thought I could do that.
Guest:And so then I hung around and watched and took classes, and then I just started hanging out at night, you know, talking to other improvisers and drinking and hanging out, and eventually I just stopped going to college.
Guest:Really?
Guest:So you didn't finish?
Guest:No.
Guest:No.
Guest:That's all right.
Guest:You can go back, you know.
Guest:Yeah, I can.
Guest:I don't really... It's not one of those things that I feel like I should go back and finish.
Guest:You don't think about it.
Guest:I'm okay.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That's interesting because I've talked to a few people that have that experience with performing where they see someone doing it and they're like, no, fuck, I could do that.
Marc:I never felt that way with comic.
Marc:Really?
Marc:With comedy.
Marc:I'd watch comics and be like, holy shit.
Yeah.
Marc:How the fuck do they do that?
Marc:Like, it was like some sort of code I needed to crack.
Marc:I didn't ever was sort of like, ah, fuck it.
Marc:I can get up there and do that.
Guest:I guess I could see that about stand-up because that's more rigid and, you know, you need to kind of have a style and you need to have jokes written.
Guest:Whereas improv, you can kind of bullshit your way around.
Guest:Throw the ball at the other guy.
Yeah.
Marc:I'm tapped out.
Marc:Yeah, it's that easy.
Marc:Tag.
Marc:You take it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So when did you start taking improv?
Guest:In like 1990, maybe 89.
Guest:What were you, like 20?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, I was 20.
Guest:And when I got into Second City, I was 21, which was pretty young.
Guest:How does that happen?
Guest:I was working with the UCB guys.
Guest:With Matt and Amy and Matt.
Guest:Yeah, I took classes with Matt Walsh.
Guest:And then I met, and then Amy and Matt came later.
Guest:But I met Matt Walsh and Matt Besser.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And Adam McKay and I teamed up with those guys.
Guest:What's the other ones?
Guest:name ian ian yeah ian wasn't around yet but so it was matt matt me and adam mckay what was uh what were you doing with adam and matt and matt we were doing a show at a stand-up club so we're doing sketches at a stand-up club but you were already in second city i don't know if i'd been at second city yet but you were taking classes taking classes okay
Guest:And you just met those guys?
Guest:And we met those guys, and Matt and Matt said, hey, why don't you guys join us, and we'll do a show.
Guest:And then we did what became Upright Citizens Brigade, which is called the Cerebral Strip Mine.
Guest:So that was the predecessor?
Guest:The predecessor of UCB.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:And then we took on Ian and Ali Farnakian.
Marc:I know that guy.
Marc:What happened to that guy?
Marc:He was like, in New York, there was a small period of time where he was like the improv genius.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And then I always found him intimidating.
Marc:Then I saw him a couple times.
Marc:I was like, he's all right.
Marc:And then nothing.
Marc:And then commercials, a couple commercials.
Guest:Yeah, but he's actually opened up a theater and bar that's pretty successful.
Guest:Oh, good.
Guest:I think it's on the east side.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:For improv?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Oh, that's great.
Marc:So he became like an improv guru.
Marc:He did.
Marc:And he teaches?
Marc:And he teaches.
Marc:Oh, so that's the route.
Marc:He's taking the Del Close route.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Oh.
Marc:So there'll be generations, maybe several years from now, it's like, fuck UCB.
Marc:He's the real guy.
Guest:That's possible.
Guest:That's possible.
Guest:What's his whole name again?
Guest:Farinaki?
Guest:Ali Farinaki.
Marc:Yeah, I liked him.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I'm glad we settled that.
Guest:He was a good guy.
Guest:He was a good guy.
Marc:He is a good guy.
Marc:Intense guy.
Marc:It was very intense.
Marc:So it's you, Ali, Matt, Matt, Adam.
Marc:And then Ian.
Marc:And then Ian came in.
Marc:Ian Roberts.
Marc:So this was, and what was the name of it again?
Marc:Cerebral Strip Mine.
Marc:Now, do you, like, are you considered, are you credited with the birth of UCB?
Guest:Well, yeah, they do, they do.
Guest:I'm one of the founders.
Marc:You are?
Guest:Yes.
Marc:You're on the plaque?
Guest:Yes, I think I am.
Guest:And I'm on the board of, I'm on a board.
Guest:Of UCB.
Guest:Of UCB guys.
Guest:The actual board hanging there.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:With a picture.
Guest:I call myself the fifth beetle.
Guest:So they're the UCB4 and I'm the fifth Beatles.
Marc:What happened with UCB?
Marc:Because they went on to tremendous success and they built the school and now they're nationwide almost, right?
Guest:Yeah, what happened is that a few of us were taken by the second city of Chicago and put in the touring company.
Marc:Was that a weird decision to make where you and Matt, did you have a sit down and go like, they were like, we're going places, man.
Marc:You can go old school and run around the country doing improv.
Guest:I guess maybe we had that conversation.
Guest:I don't remember it, but basically it came down to, do you want to stay at Second City or do you want to come with us to New York?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And things were just going well at Second City, so I stayed.
Guest:And you got into the touring company?
Guest:I got into the touring company, and then I got into the ETC stage.
Marc:Wait, who was in the touring company with you?
Marc:Were you there with Sudeikis?
Guest:This was before Sudeikis.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I was there with Brian Stack, Miriam, Jerry Minor.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:You know Jerry Minor?
Yeah.
Guest:and uh and that was in the etc stage um what's that that's like the the next there's a there's a main stage that has 350 seats and then there's a smaller theater next to it so you're in the small theater and you're doing road gigs
Guest:Yeah, you do road gigs and then you graduate to one of the theaters.
Marc:How long were you doing the road gigs?
Guest:About three years.
Marc:Holy shit.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:How many dates do you do a year doing that shit?
Guest:Probably like 15, 20.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:And you just go to bigger cities or churches?
Guest:Yeah, you go to Ohio and then do their big theater.
Guest:Oh.
Guest:It's kind of interesting because we got to do a lot of the vaudeville theaters.
Guest:Those old beautiful theaters.
Guest:And people come out?
Guest:An evening of Second City, yeah.
Guest:And people came out.
Guest:But another great thing is probably going on the road for stand-up is you start learning to make everyone laugh a little bit.
Guest:Sure.
Marc:I never was good at that, the everyone thing.
Guest:No.
Marc:I was always pretty specific.
Marc:Early on, very specific.
Marc:Literally at 5 to 10 people.
Guest:Well, you know, when I was on the show, I dabbled in that, you know, but if I had my druthers, I'd rather make less people laugh.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:It came naturally to me.
Guest:Good.
Guest:Making less people laugh.
Guest:Good.
Guest:And you didn't, you know, you weren't cocky and saying, I can do that.
Guest:When you first saw Stand Up, you worked on it.
Guest:You knew that there was work involved.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:I don't think I got, you know, sort of broadly funny until recently.
Marc:Is that right?
Marc:I don't think so.
Marc:I think you were well regarded.
Marc:I was well regarded, but a lot of times that regard is for like, oh, that guy, yeah, he's very specific.
Marc:You know, he's brilliant, but yeah, he's out there.
Marc:He's a little angry.
Marc:Very well regarded.
Guest:Like you can't put any real money behind this guy.
Marc:Sure, right, exactly.
Marc:Well regarded, respected by his peers, but he's not going anywhere.
Marc:Gotcha.
Guest:Well, you definitely changed that up.
Marc:Yeah, I did.
Marc:Yeah, thank God.
Marc:But actually, not just because of the podcast, but I'm a better entertainer now.
Marc:I don't think I saw myself as an entertainer.
Marc:I resented people who laughed at me too easily.
Marc:Yeah, it was sort of like, I wasn't even where it was supposed to be the laugh.
Marc:And then you realize like, oh, they're laughing at me because I'm making them uncomfortable.
Marc:And then you're like, that's okay.
Marc:And that's the first step to being funny to all people.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Look at the guy taking himself too seriously.
Guest:It's like when the Beatles quit touring.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You know, the people weren't listening to the lyrics anymore.
Guest:They were just screaming.
Marc:Yeah, that was my problem.
Marc:They were screaming inside.
Marc:They were screaming at themselves for spending money on this bad choice for entertainment.
Guest:I saw you a couple of years before the podcast.
Guest:Well, were you doing the podcast yet?
Guest:You had just been through some kind of disaster and you were at Maxwell's in New Jersey, Hoboken.
Marc:Oh, was that then for one of the Yola Tango nights?
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Oh, that's right.
Marc:Right.
Marc:I remember that night.
Marc:Yeah, it was ugly.
Marc:I was full of anxiety.
Marc:And it was not a good show to see.
Marc:Was that funny?
Guest:Yes, absolutely.
Guest:Yeah, and I did.
Guest:I had that thing where like, oh, I haven't been really watching this guy intently like I should be.
Marc:Oh, thank you.
Marc:That was the night The National showed up.
Marc:The National, yeah, they were great.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I knew nothing about them.
Marc:And I was like, this seems important to a lot of people.
Marc:I had a good time that night.
Marc:That was a very fun night.
Marc:You met, you talked to Sharpling.
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Marc:You and Sharpling ironed things out.
Marc:Well, yeah, it was the first time, I think, that me and Sharpling actually kind of met officially in a way.
Marc:I don't think we had shit to iron out, did we?
Marc:Maybe I had met him before.
Marc:Yeah, I remember it was good to see him.
Marc:I like Sharpling.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And we were all talking, right?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Yeah, right.
Guest:And I quit drinking, so while we were talking about quitting drinking...
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:Yeah, and then you eat ice cream and that I was eating ice cream every day like that.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Were you smoking a cigar?
Guest:No.
Guest:We didn't smoke a cigar in New York, no, but we did here.
Marc:Out in the back deck with Dave Becky.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:You still with Becky?
Marc:I am.
Marc:Oh, good for you.
Marc:He's a good guy.
Marc:I hear from him occasionally.
Guest:Yeah, he's a great guy.
Guest:Yeah, I said I'm going to Marc Maron's and he's like, all right, I'll come over too.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:All right.
Guest:I'll ask him.
Guest:I'll just meet you guys there.
Marc:Oh, that's interesting.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I'm going to get this done.
Marc:Get back on the same page with Maron.
Marc:Didn't end well with us.
Marc:Just imposed myself on his porch.
Guest:And you were writing something for the Montreal Comedy Festival.
Marc:Oh, right.
Marc:That was a powerful thing.
Marc:And a lot of it had to do with Dave Becky.
Marc:He can take a couple hits.
Marc:Of course.
Marc:Of course.
Marc:Dave, how's my hair, Becky?
Marc:Why are you looking at me like that?
Marc:Dave, am I fat, Becky?
Guest:He's going to love that.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:He's going to love that.
Marc:He said, you'll be all right.
Guest:Of course.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:No, I'm glad he's doing well.
Marc:We're actually friends again.
Marc:I don't think we were ever not friends.
Marc:It was just sort of like, you know.
Guest:Are you enemies with anyone?
Marc:Enemies?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:From my side of it?
Guest:Adversaries, let's say.
Marc:i think there's maybe one or two out there like i imagine there's a a few of the newer generation like i probably have some new enemies uh that you don't know right they're one-sided like that guy it's got to be a few of those guys out it's my karma i was a that guy guy so i have to assume that's that's exactly what i say about the ucb yeah we were saying you to everybody and now someone will come and say fuck you to uc oh yeah fuck them yeah
Guest:So you're doing these road gigs.
Guest:So I was there at ImprovOlympic, and then I went to Second City.
Guest:And I met Walsh at ImprovOlympic.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So it was all kind of going on at the same time a little bit.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:But did you meet Del Close?
Guest:I did.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:How was that?
Guest:Well, the first time it was kind of ugly because he was yelling at Matt Walsh.
Guest:And Matt Walsh has always been a sweet, great guy.
Marc:And was he at Second City or was it a separate thing, Del Close?
Guest:It was a separate thing.
Guest:Eventually they became friends.
Guest:Second City became friends with ImprovOlympic and then they would take talent from there.
Marc:So Del Close was ImprovOlympic?
Guest:yeah improv olympic he and uh sharna helpern started it and he and he trained a lot of the guys besser and mckay and all those guys and so i i didn't i was at second city while they were doing but he's like the wizard he is like a magical wizard of improv yeah i don't really subscribe to that yeah as much but very respected well regarded well regarded yes didn't make them all laugh and made some very important people laugh
Marc:But yeah, but people love that guy.
Marc:What was so special about how he approached it?
Marc:Did it resonate with you when you met him?
Marc:It was ugly because he was yelling at Matt Walsh.
Marc:What was he yelling at Matt Walsh?
Guest:Because he hadn't paid for classes yet.
Marc:So he's like, bring a check next time you come here.
Marc:I thought you were going to lay down some improv genius.
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:It's all about paying for classes.
Marc:Next time you better bring a check.
Marc:And scene.
Marc:And scene.
Guest:Get out.
Marc:I'm saying no.
Marc:I know it's against everything I believe in, but no, you cannot improv today.
Guest:And then later, I have to show that there's another side, the Dell.
Guest:Later in a bar, I uttered this phrase or this sentence.
Guest:I wish I had $5 so I can buy beer.
Guest:And he heard me and he said, are you going to buy beer with it?
Guest:I'm like, yeah.
Guest:And he goes, okay.
Guest:And he bought me a pitcher of beer.
Guest:And later it was a very sweet romantic thing as he looked at the screen and it was Farley and Tim Meadows.
Guest:And he goes, you know, I taught those two.
Guest:And that was it.
Guest:God, he was a genius.
Guest:He was.
Guest:Well, actually, you know, he did.
Guest:He kind of forced Second City's hand and put Farley and Tim Meadows in the cast, where usually they would take from within.
Guest:He's like, if you want me to direct, I got to take these guys.
Marc:Oh, so he went to Second City and actually directed there.
Marc:I should know more about that.
Marc:And Farley and Meadows were his picks.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Oh, wow.
Guest:And they were Improvolympic guys that were taken from Improvolympic and put directly on a stage, so they didn't have to tour.
Guest:And he invented the Herald, right?
Yes.
Guest:Yeah, he invented the Herald.
Guest:That Herald, what it does is just it forces you to kind of write in your brain a little better.
Guest:And it's like it uses conventions that writers would use, and they're kind of built in.
Guest:And so that's why I think improvisers are good writers on the fly.
Marc:Oh, right, right.
Marc:And sometimes when you improvise, you can build sketches out.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you kind of feel like now it's kind of built in how they're made.
Guest:And so, you know, that's kind of what he was really good at.
Marc:So what happened next for you at Second City?
Marc:So you get into the small stage.
Marc:After doing the road for three years, now you're on the small stage.
Guest:I'm on the small stage, but you only work four days on the small stage.
Guest:And so that was great.
Guest:And also I got to improvise after each show.
Guest:There was an improv set.
Guest:So that's kind of where I learned to get good at improv.
Guest:Before that, I was pretty decent at sketch.
Guest:And so that's where it happened for me.
Guest:And I was lucky.
Guest:Timing...
Guest:the tina fey was married to jeff richmond who was my musical director at second city so i worked with him and wrote songs with him so tina was very aware of me yeah and uh you know there were times when i wanted to quit and i talked to her and she's like don't quit because there's nowhere i can send people to see you you know right and so i stayed so you got it got pretty dark huh
Guest:yeah it got dark there kind of just staying there not moving up i didn't feel like uh that the boss there really was at second city yeah you weren't you weren't standing out i was i was standing out in the back but not standing up in the front standing out for the front you were drinking i was drinking a lot and uh were you like that guy like uh after after the shows like let's go get drunk
Guest:yeah i pretend i was probably less bro bro about it yeah but definitely the same results you're more like let's go get drunk yeah let's go talk about the show why are we so sad isn't that funny why can't i make my sadness more funny uh yeah so that's what happened i don't know some skin is on the mic here from you i hope maybe i should clean that thing
Guest:It's fine now.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:Just don't put it in your mouth.
Guest:Don't.
Guest:Don't.
Guest:People always tell you, put your mustache right on it.
Guest:Do they really?
Guest:Get your mustache right on it.
Marc:Do they tell you?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I wish I could tell people that.
Marc:I can't tell you how many people do not know how to use a fucking mic.
Marc:So get up on it.
Guest:I hear you.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:For my podcast, too.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And you don't want to be weird because you think they should know, but they don't.
Marc:You don't want to just keep pushing in their face.
Marc:So I'm sitting here riding the fucking levels just to pick up people who are out here.
Marc:It's like, I can't.
Marc:What am I going to do with that?
Guest:Shoving anything in someone's face is going to be taken as a weird little thing.
Guest:Let's tell everyone who does a podcast, just put that mic in your face.
Marc:If it's a good mic, especially these Sony SM7s, I'll always take a free one.
Marc:I love that.
Marc:You got to get right up on them.
Marc:They're made for that.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That's how you do it.
Marc:There's a lot of room between the foam and the mic insides.
Marc:So you're drinking.
Marc:You're sad.
Marc:You're telling Tina you're going to quit.
Marc:And she says, don't quit, Horatio.
Marc:You have so much to live for.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:And so SNL comes around a few months later, and they ask me and Rachel.
Guest:Rachel was on main stage.
Guest:Dratch.
Guest:Rachel Dratch.
Guest:They ask us both to audition.
Guest:Oh.
Guest:What year is that?
Guest:1998.
Guest:Oh.
Guest:And the great thing is I had a few months.
Guest:Before the audition.
Guest:Before the audition.
Guest:They told me it's going to happen because they came and saw me and they're like, it's happening in the summer, but we don't know when.
Guest:Then later they're like, it's in three months.
Guest:You could put some characters together.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:And write some stuff.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And work on it.
Marc:What'd you end up writing and what characters?
Guest:I did Robert Stack.
Marc:No.
Guest:I did Robert Stack.
Guest:I did a character.
Guest:Because you thought Lauren would be like, oh, it's a throwback.
Guest:I don't...
Guest:No, I really just didn't have impressions, and that was one that I had.
Guest:It may have looked that way, like, hey, here's a nod to you, sir.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Had you thought of that before?
Guest:I thought of that when I did Truman Capote, because I'm like, he'll know what Truman Capote is, and he'll know that this isn't a modern reference at all, and he'll probably like it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I did Truman Capote.
Guest:Robert Stack, Truman Capote.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:meatloaf i sang like meatloaf yeah i wrote a little song that i don't remember but i wrote a little song for me as meatloaf yeah and uh and then so yeah i i ended up getting the gig so so where'd you audition
Guest:In 30 Rock, on the home base.
Guest:For him.
Guest:He's there with Adam McKay.
Marc:Who's the head writer at the time?
Guest:Who's the head writer at the time.
Guest:And Tina, who's up there.
Guest:And I think maybe Shoemaker and Higgins.
Guest:And they're at a table, and you do the thing, and there's a camera without a cameraman on it, and it has a light on it.
Guest:And they're like, that's beamed to New York City, and it's beamed to Chicago, beamed to Los Angeles.
Guest:The executives are watching this.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you hear this all the time.
Guest:The guy says they're not going to laugh, so don't let that throw you.
Guest:And then when they do, you're like, oh, wow.
Guest:I got it.
Guest:I'm the one that did it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'm the one that broke them.
Guest:So then you're just flying high after that.
Guest:Did you get laughs?
Guest:Yeah, I did.
Guest:I got some good laughs.
Guest:And I remember thinking afterwards, like, well, fuck it.
Guest:I mean, I was drinking and just was madly drunk that night after the audition.
Guest:But I felt really good because I always wanted to...
Guest:to make sure that that audition i didn't blow it right other auditions i've blown and so many i can't even talk about but but that one i was like well i want to give it my best shot so i can say one day hey i gave it my best shot i wasn't fucking drinking and fucking around when i right so i checked into new york a couple days early you know they were gonna have me come the day before the audition i was like no no no new york's too crazy
Guest:bring me out you know three days before yeah and then i i put myself up at a hotel already there oh you put yourself up they weren't like that this guy's demanding no no no yeah i knew that i knew not to do that so i put myself up uh and then i i just i was basically like martin sheen and uh you know in the hotel in saigon you know i just i just locked up in there
Guest:and kind of just put my work on the wall and my scenes, and I got it all.
Guest:Doing weird tai chi and drinking and breaking mirrors, getting bloody.
Guest:It was about three days of that, and then I was like, all right, let's go, let's do it.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:And you nailed it.
Guest:And I think I nailed it.
Guest:Yeah, and when did you find out you were on?
Guest:Did you have to go to a meeting with Lorne?
Guest:Well, the funny things about Lorne, you interviewed him.
Guest:He calls me into his office, and I have to wait like an hour and a half to talk to him.
Guest:And we come in, and we start talking about baseball.
Guest:He's like...
Guest:Talking about the Cubs.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He knows I like the Cubs.
Guest:He's talking about the Cubs.
Guest:And he goes, you know, Bill Murray's son is named Homer.
Guest:That was the first line?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So we're having this talk about, yeah, Bill Murray's son is named Homer after Ernie Banks.
Guest:Mm-hmm.
Guest:And then he says, we think we want to use you for this season.
Guest:And so I'm like, okay, all right.
Guest:I'm like, well, I live with my parents at the time.
Guest:And I said, well, can I tell my parents I have to move to New York?
Guest:And he says, yes, tell them you have to move to New York, but don't tell them you'll be on the show.
Guest:because we don't know yet you know like oh shit so i couldn't even sell it i didn't even know what that was yet i couldn't say like yeah shake his hand yeah i kind of just left with like okay all right i think that's good
Guest:So they wanted you as a writer?
Guest:No.
Guest:So we say goodbye.
Guest:And then the next day I meet with Higgins and other writers that hung out with Higgins there.
Guest:And they were kind of making sure that I wasn't a dick.
Guest:And then after that, I went home.
Guest:And when I got home, I got the call.
Guest:And Lauren told me I got the job.
Guest:okay so that's when i screamed that's when i hung thank you very much and what did you do and you call your parents i was in the while i was in the house of my parents oh so i was screaming and they're like what happened i'm like i got it i got the fucking show you know uh it is glorious were they happy absolutely well they're a little sad because i was moving out right but you were 30 so i was 28 so they're like yeah he has to go you know it's a
Guest:yeah i'm like ah snl taking me out of my my womb i had a good gig here yeah mom was cooking and who knows you know maybe i would have become a guru myself yeah you could have been well regarded yeah instead i had to go out and get popular and be on snl yeah so you were there for i was there for eight years it was eight eight years yeah
Guest:that's a long run it was a very long fun run you did a lot of shows and who was on the cast when you got there um well i worked a lot with uh with feral and katan and and uh sherry and and you were kind of sweaty and your hair was you had no beard i had no beard i was about 80 pounds heavier right yeah and my hair was always kind of sweaty but did you work right away i
Guest:Kind of, yeah.
Guest:Well, the great thing is that Smigel wrote a bit for me my first show where it was The Best of Horatio Sands.
Guest:So they shot this thing that was comprised of rehearsal footage from the 8 o'clock show.
Yeah.
Guest:So that was supposed to air my first show.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Which ended up airing the second show for time.
Guest:But that kind of helped because my name was out.
Guest:Now my name's being said.
Guest:And now they're making fun that this guy's so new that they're making that take.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:And so, yeah, I did Ozzy, and that kind of was a big one.
Guest:I did Meatloaf, and that kind of got a big response.
Guest:So I kind of snuck in with my musical impressions.
Guest:And then I started working with Jimmy, and people liked us together.
Guest:Right.
Yeah.
Guest:well we thought well we didn't really plan on breaking but we kind of made a thing of you were always trying to fuck with each other yeah yeah yeah well that was sort of established right by ferrell and you know like he broke a lot and jimmy always broke right right and jimmy i mean jimmy's uh you know he's such a fan of sandler that you know he he auditioned at sandler too he did sandler really and so you know that was him and him and farley's
Marc:shtick so i think that's kind of rubbed off on us and i and i was always i was like yeah more of that more of the silliness because it's contagious because i could feel in that room it's not necessarily the warmest room uh the studio like it can get quiet in there like i can see how like being in uh you know so when there's an electricity to it it must just get like amazing
Marc:Because when I was there, I was like, this isn't an easy gig.
Marc:I mean, it's intimate, more intimate than I thought.
Marc:And the audience is right there.
Marc:And everything's moving in real time.
Marc:But things can fall flat.
Marc:Yeah, they often do.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And you can feel it.
Marc:I felt as an audience guy and just as a guy who's on stage all his life.
Guest:Yeah, and so, you know, you have to, that crowd isn't a regular slice of America crowd.
Guest:Right, right, right.
Guest:You know, it's executives and friends and entertainers, and so it's not the warmest crowd.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I imagine if you're having fun, then it just kind of rubs off.
Guest:Yeah, and now that I think of it, I have to say, you know, we had Will Ferrell probably opening up every show, and so we probably had a great Will Ferrell sketch or Katan doing something huge, so the audience, by the time we got on, the audience were already kind of laughing.
Guest:And so were you buddies with Will and everybody?
Guest:Yeah, everybody.
Guest:I didn't like Catan, his comedy so much when I was with him, but I always did like him and continue to like him.
Marc:Yeah, I saw him recently on a plane.
Marc:He wasn't funny.
Marc:He said hi, though.
Marc:Well, if you guys would have talked, he would have been funny.
Marc:No, I'm sure he would have been funny.
Marc:He's a naturally funny fella.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So how bad was the booze during the time?
Guest:I mean, I was pretty functioning.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Apart for the booze got pretty bad after the show.
Marc:Now, what happened?
Marc:So you're on eight years.
Marc:That's a long run.
Marc:How did it end?
Guest:um during that my final year that eighth year i uh i'd sat in for for tina on update for a couple weeks and so there were there was a audition to see who would be with with amy polar on update yeah so i i talked to lauren i said well i'll uh after i auditioned for this hopefully i'll get it but if i don't you know i'll uh i'll probably leave this year
Guest:And he said, oh, we don't like talking about that.
Guest:About stars leaving.
Guest:We don't like talking about that.
Guest:So I took that as, okay, I guess I'll stick around.
Guest:And since it wasn't something that anybody came up to you and say, hey, it's done, you kind of hang out for a while and you're like, wait, wait a minute.
Guest:like am i done here and so what did you start getting written out or well this is before the show started right okay but but but so what happened is someone released something to the press saying that i was let go and so i called up um i called up shoemaker and asked him like uh did this happen and he's like no no man i don't know where that's coming from so
Guest:Oh, no.
Guest:Show business is the worst.
Guest:So then I'm interviewed by some radio station.
Guest:They're like, well, what's up, man?
Guest:Are you fired?
Guest:I'm like, well, I don't know, man.
Guest:I think it's some executive just talking some shit or something, which that wasn't the case.
Guest:It was an executive probably who just wanted me out.
Guest:but at that time after eight years you make a lot of money at snl yeah and it really doesn't make sense to keep guys around that long right where for my what i was making you can hire three new people right so you know i knew that for eight years is a very long time but it's up there in years for a lot of people so i knew it was time to go and it was okay but just the way it happened was a little disappointing so what how'd you track it what what what happened what
Guest:So eventually my manager's called up Lauren and Lauren's like, yeah, you know, we it's the money thing or something.
Guest:And, you know, and I think he I think he may have tried to hold, you know, to keep me.
Guest:But in the end, at the end, he's just like, well, you know, eight years and.
Marc:When I talked to him, he seemed to feel that, like, it seems to me that he likes knowing if someone's going to go either by his choice or someone above him's choice.
Marc:He feels better if he thinks you're okay.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Do you know what I mean?
Marc:Like, he'll do fine.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:People know him.
Guest:He'll work.
Yeah.
Guest:And if you think about it, I mean, he has a responsibility of a lot of people.
Guest:Yeah, sure.
Guest:Not just those people that work for him, but, you know, the expectations of what that show should be.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Even even now, people are asking me, what about Trump?
Guest:You know, what's Lauren going to do about Trump?
Guest:And so now Lauren has to figure that out.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Well, what how did you leave feeling about him?
Guest:I just felt like I really would have liked, thank you, we're letting you go.
Guest:I really would have liked that.
Guest:Have you called him?
Guest:Oh, I have.
Guest:I have talked to him since.
Guest:Oh, you have?
Guest:That's good.
Guest:Yeah, now I'm working with his company, Broadway Video.
Guest:So I'm back in contact.
Marc:Did you get your closure?
Guest:I'm still dealing with my closure, yeah.
Guest:But did you say to him, I would have liked... Well, you know, I kind of threw some... I shot some arrows his way, trying to get his attention.
Guest:Like what?
Guest:Like I said, Jim Downey was the Karl Rove of SNL and that...
Guest:they were too far on the right all those years when we could have really been hitting the Bush administration that they kind of dropped the ball on it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And that Will inadvertently was such a cool, fun guy that he probably swayed the election.
Guest:And so I was saying that the show wasn't... In Bush's favor?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:I think so.
Guest:I think people... If you think about the margin of that election, it's not that preposterous to think that he could sway the... More people liked him because of Will's impression of him?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:and it would mean seeing will every week yeah they were that calculating maybe i don't like the guy subconsciously if you're on the fence already yeah i want to see more will ferrell doing george w bush so let's elect that monster wow and so i i kind of like so when they interviewed me for this book i i i'm the one that always says stuff that gets printed uh-huh uh
Guest:And so I recently said, you know, I don't hate the show.
Guest:I'm not just here saying shit against the show.
Guest:I just think that a little dissension is good for the Republic sometimes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And that I felt that the show wasn't for those years.
Guest:It wasn't being run under the, you know.
Guest:how the initial show had been run right now it was like with some teeth it's rebellion with some fuck you to society you know it was just becoming too much like what the people in on this show don't feel the way you're feeling so how come you know jim downey is able to write these sketches that no one's identifying with and so uh so i really came into contact with him to tell him like hey nothing personal
Guest:And he was very nice back.
Guest:Who, Downey was or Lorne?
Guest:Lorne.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I really do think Downey is a super talented dude.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I just don't like that he's a Republican.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I think that his years at SNL when he was the head writer were probably the best.
Guest:So it's nothing against his talent.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You just want a little more edge.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And at that time, Seth Meyers was writing the edgy left stuff, and he was having to do battle with this guy, and usually this guy would win because of his seniority.
Guest:Ah.
Guest:But you never got a sense.
Guest:Well, how are you with Downey?
Guest:Oh, I think he knows.
Guest:I think he knows that I didn't like that about him.
Guest:I hope he knows that it's not personal.
Guest:I mean, he doesn't give a shit.
Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Well, that's what you find, you know, when you're like, you know, Goliath is not being affected by your slingshot.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You're sort of like, I think Goliath's okay.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:He's not throwing anything back at me, so that's okay.
Marc:I'm going to keep throwing rocks.
Marc:He's not stepping at me.
Marc:But you're working for Broadway Video now because I know you went through a time.
Marc:So after the show, how bad did the drinking become?
Guest:um well i had sleep apnea a sleep apnea operation i broke up with my my girlfriend at the time yeah and then i got fired so i had like this you know perfect storm of horrible stuff happening yeah and i just got really depressed and um and then i i was dating i started dating someone and i thought well if i don't stop drinking i'm gonna ruin this relationship like i have the past what kind of drunk were you sad or angry
Guest:both both but I would be I'd be very gregarious and fun to a certain point then I would become an asshole I assume right morose morose jealous bitter yeah jealous was the worst all that truth coming out yeah
Guest:too much truth yeah yeah too much truth no one seemed to want to hear and um and he quit and i quit you doing the thing i quit no i didn't do the thing i did actually do the thing when i started eventually i got a little uh i didn't feel it was doing me any good right and so you just kind of got grounded and stayed off it huh
Guest:Yeah, and I started seeing a therapist who specialized in addictions, and so that was really good for me, too.
Marc:Oh, that's great, because I remember you were over at, like, you know, I know people, when you're on SNL, and then, you know, they don't see you for a while, they're like, well, I wonder what that guy, how'd that go?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And I remember when I went over to Maker, you know, that weird internet factory.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You're like, you know, they're trying to get me to do the podcast or do something over there, and you're like, yeah, Horatio's here running everything.
Yeah.
Marc:I just remember seeing you in a room with a board.
Marc:There's a lot of ideas.
Marc:And I'm like, what's going on?
Marc:You making stuff?
Marc:Well, no, not really.
Marc:It's all going to happen.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:They put me in charge of doing all these productions.
Guest:And, well, what happened there was they were trying to sell it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So we didn't really make a lot of stuff.
Guest:But you got paid.
Guest:I got paid.
Guest:Yeah, I got paid.
Guest:They were nice to me.
Marc:And so what happened after that?
Guest:So I've been in and out of failed pilots and movies.
Guest:Working.
Guest:You're getting shots.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:I'm always getting some shots in.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, you look good.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:Well, thanks.
Guest:So what's the thing you're doing with Broadway Video?
Guest:So now we're doing, I'm gathering up the comedy for a digital platform called Mas Mejor, More Better.
Guest:And it's a playoff of Above Average, Lauren's internet site.
Guest:And so it's for millennial Latinos.
Guest:Oh, good.
Guest:And so I'm gathering up a lot of Latino talent that I'm finding and putting them onto this site and partnering up with Telemundo to do this huge, huge monster site.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:So you're like in competition with Al Madrigal.
Guest:I am, yeah.
Guest:Actually, I welcome Al Madrigal's assistance.
Guest:It's not an easy task getting all this funny Latino stuff out there.
Guest:Got to get Madrigal.
Guest:Absolutely.
Guest:I'm in contact with Madrigal.
Guest:He's the don of that.
Guest:I mean, I hope Madrigal can get me and Fluffy together.
Guest:But me and Madrigal are cool, for sure.
Marc:Fluffy just got his own show, so I don't know, man.
Marc:Maybe he'll do a little bit, a little video.
Marc:I'll go to him.
Marc:Just go to him and say, are your shorts on?
Marc:Put on the shorts.
Marc:Let's do a thing up front.
Marc:You think he doesn't wear shorts?
Marc:He always wears shorts.
Marc:Maybe at home.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Marc:Yeah, it's his bit.
Marc:He wears the jorts, the long shorts.
Marc:Oh, that's right.
Marc:Yeah, and then, you know.
Marc:I think Fluffy will do it if you just say he can push his merchandise.
Marc:He'll be fine if you can get the Fluffy merch out there.
Marc:We can do that.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Well, this is, I guess, a public call to Gabriel Iglesias.
Marc:And all funny Latinos out there.
Marc:All funny Latinos.
Guest:Can submit stuff to me.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Horatio needs your submissions.
Marc:In Spanish?
Marc:In English or Spanish.
Marc:Any way you want to do it.
Marc:Whatever floats your boat.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And now Magical has given a seal of approval of this.
Marc:You're not going to alienate Magical.
Marc:No.
Marc:If you do some stuff with Shands.
Guest:You're not going to shit on Magical.
Guest:And it works both ways.
Guest:Yeah, buddy.
Guest:You know, you can work with magical, and I'm cool with it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, look at that, man.
Marc:This is an open door.
Marc:Brothers, man.
Marc:Oh, right on.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Hermano, is that it?
Guest:Hermano, yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Good talking to you, man.
Marc:A pleasure.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:That's it.
Marc:That's me and Horatio.
Marc:Sweet guy, good guy, funny guy.
Marc:Had a really nice time.
Marc:Some of you ask questions about this part of the podcast.
Marc:Like, why do things end abruptly sometimes?
Marc:Because sometimes, most of the time, I'm not hearing the end of the podcast, so my tone might be a little different.
Marc:The end of the conversation.
Marc:Like, you know, I do this stuff after I record the interview, so I don't want you to feel like I'm being rude or weird or my temperament is different.
Marc:It's just sometimes this part of the show is not recorded at the same time.
Marc:You know what I'm saying?
Marc:But I love it.
Marc:The Horatio on Earwolf is Horatio's podcast.
Marc:You can go to wtfpod.com, get yourself some justcoffee.coop or some posters or leave a comment or... I'm really hung up on this fucking volume pedal, on this repeater pedal.
Marc:... ...
Thank you.
Thank you.
Guest:Boomer lives!