Episode 611 - Godfrey

Episode 611 • Released June 14, 2015 • Speakers detected

00:00:00Guest:All right, let's do this.

00:00:10Marc:How are you?

00:00:10Marc:What the fuckers?

00:00:11Marc:What the fuck buddies?

00:00:12Marc:What the fucking ears?

00:00:13Marc:What the fuck?

00:00:14Marc:Aloha.

00:00:15Marc:Yeah, that's right.

00:00:16Marc:Listen to this.

00:00:20Marc:That's the real ocean.

00:00:21Marc:It's the ocean.

00:00:22Marc:I hope it's not just coming off as noise, but I thought like I'm in Hawaii.

00:00:26Marc:I should do something.

00:00:26Marc:I should get outside and do something.

00:00:29Marc:I mean, I'm in Kauai.

00:00:31Marc:I'm looking out at the sun is just setting.

00:00:34Marc:Maybe it just set.

00:00:35Marc:It's not dark, but you know, right after it sets where it's just purple.

00:00:38Marc:Yeah, it's like purple with clouds, purpley clouds.

00:00:42Marc:Now I'm right by the water.

00:00:44Marc:with the equipment right here by the water.

00:00:47Marc:Oh, all this lava rock.

00:00:49Marc:I hope the wind doesn't fuck things up.

00:00:50Marc:So anyways, a couple of people looking at me weird.

00:00:53Marc:That's fine.

00:00:54Marc:I can live with that.

00:00:54Marc:That happens wherever I am.

00:00:56Marc:Now it's just happening for a specific reason on the beach.

00:01:00Marc:in kawaii you know what i've come here uh for years and years this may be the third or fourth time that i've been here and i love it and i've always tried to figure out why i love it because a lot of people don't necessarily picture me as an outdoorsy guy or even a recreation based person a guy who likes to get outdoors and do things but uh oh contraire is that how you say that uh i am not really an outdoorsy guy but when i come here

00:01:25Marc:It's so fucking compelling, man.

00:01:27Marc:Can you hear the water?

00:01:28Marc:I'm out in the middle of the fucking Pacific.

00:01:30Marc:It took five hours to fly here.

00:01:32Marc:It was horrendously stressful for me and anxiety-inducing to fly over water that long.

00:01:38Marc:Because I don't know about you, but I feel much more comfortable if I were to crash and land.

00:01:42Marc:And I think I've talked about this before, but I'm more comfortable with that.

00:01:45Marc:I fly over water.

00:01:46Marc:I'm like, if we go down, it could take weeks to find us.

00:01:49Marc:And I'll be strapped into that dumb chair at the bottom of the ocean with, you know, crabs and things and fishes eating out my eyeballs.

00:01:56Marc:It's just sitting out there.

00:01:57Marc:I'd rather just be destroyed and spread across the prairies, you know, on land where, you know, maybe we're findable.

00:02:04Marc:they're not just strapped there's just something very lonely about the vision of being strapped in one of those dumb fucking airplane chairs perhaps next to you know a couple of strangers and maybe one person you know just sitting there at the bottom of the ocean dead how lonely is that imagine if you were in a first class seat you'd be a little more comfortable but it'd just be you alone sitting there look at this fucking ocean

00:02:26Marc:Just sitting there at the bottom of it, dead, alone, no one finding you.

00:02:30Marc:But you got the good chair, right?

00:02:31Marc:You got the good seat strapped in while you slowly decompose in crabs and things eat your eyes.

00:02:37Marc:Not for me.

00:02:38Marc:But getting back to the positive part of Hawaii, it's just beautiful.

00:02:43Marc:You know, I don't know how to explain this, but I've always been compelled towards animals like walruses, polar bears, elephants, large animals that lumber through the world, solitary-like in my mind, even though both of them probably hang out with other animals like them.

00:03:04Marc:But in my mind, just big animals that exude a certain loneliness, but a sort of steadfast sort of feeling, ooh, there's a cruise ship.

00:03:13Marc:Just yonder, there are people about two miles out.

00:03:17Marc:I see a cruise ship.

00:03:18Marc:Right now, there's just people wondering when they're going to eat next.

00:03:21Marc:When are they going to ring the bell?

00:03:23Marc:When does the bell ring for snacky snack?

00:03:27Marc:So anyways...

00:03:29Marc:I'm here with Sarah, and I went past the Nepali coast.

00:03:34Marc:I took the boat.

00:03:35Marc:I've done this stuff before.

00:03:36Marc:I've been here with several different women.

00:03:37Marc:You guys know this.

00:03:38Marc:It doesn't matter.

00:03:40Marc:It doesn't matter.

00:03:40Marc:This is where I go.

00:03:41Marc:This is where I feel comfortable.

00:03:42Marc:This is where I enjoy vacationing.

00:03:44Marc:We're way up on the north side.

00:03:47Marc:And I need to see a sea turtle again.

00:03:50Marc:I need closure on that.

00:03:52Marc:But it's massive.

00:03:54Marc:I can't understand what's so amazing about it.

00:03:56Marc:It's like seeing when you take a boat around the Nepali coast, you're like, oh, my God, I can't even wrap my brain around how beautiful and large it is, how prehistoric it is, how unfucked with.

00:04:06Marc:It is.

00:04:07Marc:There's something about big and unfucked with that's very compelling to me.

00:04:11Marc:And it's spiritually satisfying.

00:04:13Marc:It's almost like mind-blowing.

00:04:15Marc:It's mind-blowing when you take a boat to see the Nepali coast and you go around the coast.

00:04:20Marc:Mind-blowing.

00:04:21Marc:And you get quite nauseous on the boat, but not unlike heroin.

00:04:25Marc:Sometimes you just got to get through the nausea to the good stuff.

00:04:28Marc:And then you got to get the nausea on the way back.

00:04:31Marc:But I don't feel like I have to go see the Nepali coast every day.

00:04:34Marc:And if I don't, you know, I wouldn't kill to see the Nepali coast every day or steal TV sets to see the Nepali coast every day.

00:04:41Marc:That would be a very exotic addiction.

00:04:43Marc:And I imagine it would it would run its course after two or three times.

00:04:47Marc:So who's on the show today?

00:04:48Marc:Today on the show is Godfrey, I think.

00:04:51Marc:Or Judd Apatow.

00:04:53Marc:I guess I got to do intros for both.

00:04:55Marc:Godfrey.

00:04:56Marc:Godfrey finally is on the show today from my garage.

00:05:00Marc:Godfrey.

00:05:01Marc:I'm trying to get up.

00:05:02Marc:Here we go.

00:05:03Guest:Whoa.

00:05:04Marc:He's hilarious, and I like talking to him.

00:05:06Marc:We have a longstanding frenemy relationship.

00:05:12Marc:I love him, though.

00:05:13Marc:I love him.

00:05:15Marc:Oh, yeah, man.

00:05:16Marc:Go to wtfpod.com slash calendar, please.

00:05:19Marc:Please.

00:05:20Marc:Portchester, please.

00:05:21Marc:Red Bank, New Jersey, please.

00:05:23Marc:Huntington, New York, please.

00:05:25Marc:Brooklyn's doing fine.

00:05:26Marc:All right.

00:05:27Marc:At BAM Opera House.

00:05:28Marc:But the other surrounding dates.

00:05:30Marc:I need people.

00:05:30Marc:I got family coming to Red Bank, New Jersey.

00:05:32Marc:You're going to leave me hanging with the small crowd with family.

00:05:35Marc:Half empty room so they can go like that.

00:05:37Marc:I see.

00:05:37Marc:I knew it was all hype.

00:05:38Marc:Are you going to do that to me?

00:05:39Marc:I'm not being desperate here.

00:05:40Marc:Maybe a little, but I just like maybe you don't know that I'm coming.

00:05:42Marc:I don't know.

00:05:43Marc:Maybe you're all driving to New York.

00:05:44Marc:That's my assumption that you're all driving to the BAM Opera House.

00:05:47Marc:There's still a few tickets left over there, but that's looking good.

00:05:50Marc:Red Bank, New Jersey.

00:05:52Marc:Huntington, New York.

00:05:53Marc:Port Chester, New York.

00:05:56Marc:Come on.

00:05:56Marc:25th, 26th, 27th, 28th of this month or soon.

00:06:02Marc:It's fucking beautiful down here.

00:06:04Marc:I'll tell you, though, man, I got this urge.

00:06:07Marc:You know, I went.

00:06:10Marc:I went to this place called the lava pools, Molokai Lava Pools.

00:06:14Marc:And there's this area that many years ago.

00:06:16Marc:When I was here with my first wife, we took a snorkel.

00:06:20Marc:You could just jump in the water anywhere.

00:06:22Marc:And I've talked about this before, but I went to where I jumped in the water and swam with the fucking dinosaurs, with the sea turtles.

00:06:28Marc:I went to where, and it's dangerous.

00:06:30Marc:I don't know who that mark was, but this mark wants to do it again.

00:06:34Marc:It looks dangerous.

00:06:36Marc:It's very rough up there, but there's something so invigorating and inviting about the dangerous water.

00:06:42Marc:It's not shark infested.

00:06:44Marc:It just looks rough and intense, but it's very inviting.

00:06:46Marc:I just want to get in and get under the intensity and see if I can find some dinosaurs.

00:06:52Marc:I only saw a couple.

00:06:53Marc:I only saw their heads.

00:06:55Marc:I saw some goats.

00:06:57Marc:Saw the dinosaur crabs.

00:06:59Marc:I've eaten some good food.

00:07:02Marc:Almost wrecked the car once because these bridges are complicated.

00:07:05Marc:I'm trying to clear my head.

00:07:06Marc:I'm doing all right.

00:07:08Marc:There's very exciting things happening on WTF.

00:07:11Marc:Just wait.

00:07:12Marc:You just wait.

00:07:13Marc:All right?

00:07:14Marc:Don't act like I didn't say that some exciting shit's going to happen.

00:07:19Marc:All right?

00:07:20Marc:All right, so let's talk to Godfrey.

00:07:22Marc:You'll love this.

00:07:23Marc:We bust each other's balls.

00:07:27Marc:Let's do some of that.

00:07:29Guest:I had a guy make me hats and t-shirts.

00:07:36Guest:They were pretty good.

00:07:37Guest:Yeah, he made me a fucking, it was a sick hat, man.

00:07:41Guest:Yeah.

00:07:41Guest:It was so sick.

00:07:42Guest:And then I just was like, nah, man, I can't.

00:07:45Guest:What?

00:07:46Guest:What?

00:07:47Guest:What do you mean?

00:07:48Guest:The hats were sick.

00:07:49Guest:The caps were so cool.

00:07:52Guest:I think I might do that again, that cap shit.

00:07:54Guest:It's just merchandise.

00:07:55Guest:I'm no worse than it.

00:07:55Guest:What was on the cap?

00:07:56Guest:It was a G, but it was such a cool G. You know how you have Green Bay.

00:08:00Guest:Yeah.

00:08:00Guest:You have Georgia has a G. Yeah.

00:08:02Guest:This G was like, oh, shit.

00:08:04Guest:It looked like a hat cap you would wear.

00:08:06Guest:Right.

00:08:07Guest:It wasn't cheesy.

00:08:08Guest:Is it Godfrey G?

00:08:09Guest:It was a Godfrey G.

00:08:12Marc:It was a Godfrey G, but it was a sweet-ass G. But they're going to have to explain that, right?

00:08:17Marc:Yeah.

00:08:18Marc:But the G, it looked like a hat.

00:08:20Marc:It doesn't matter.

00:08:21Marc:It doesn't matter.

00:08:22Marc:Some people would be afraid to ask.

00:08:24Marc:They just think they should know.

00:08:25Marc:I know.

00:08:26Marc:What G is that?

00:08:28Guest:It's a Godfrey G. Who?

00:08:32Fuck the hell, man.

00:08:35Marc:I'm such a asshole.

00:08:38Marc:No, I say that because it happens to me.

00:08:41Guest:It happens to me.

00:08:42Guest:Well, when comedians sell merch, we're trying to do it like a sports guy.

00:08:49Guest:You're a fan of, you know, you wear something that says, yo, what's that?

00:08:52Guest:Oh, these are the South Carolina blue devils.

00:08:55Guest:Right.

00:08:55Guest:Oh, cool.

00:08:56Guest:Yeah.

00:08:56Guest:Now you got to go, well, for the comedian, that's the comedian guy, God for his soul.

00:09:00Marc:Now, you know the guy from the thing.

00:09:04Yeah.

00:09:04Marc:He's in that movie.

00:09:08Marc:It's a black dude.

00:09:09Marc:With the Snoop Dogg movie?

00:09:10Guest:Yeah.

00:09:10Marc:Do you remember the second guy in the 7-Up commercials?

00:09:17Marc:Not the first guy.

00:09:18Marc:The second one?

00:09:20Marc:And then they canceled it?

00:09:21Marc:Yeah, the second guy.

00:09:22Marc:That dude.

00:09:22Marc:Yeah, he's out for like three commercials.

00:09:26Guest:I did 21.

00:09:27Guest:You did 21 of those?

00:09:28Marc:I did about 20-something of those.

00:09:29Marc:That was when it was all going to happen, right?

00:09:31Guest:I don't know.

00:09:32Yeah.

00:09:32Guest:But I took it in stride.

00:09:35Guest:You know what's so funny?

00:09:36Guest:Is I never thought like that.

00:09:37Guest:No.

00:09:38Guest:I was like, yo, hey, I'm going to do it while I can get it and then keep it moving.

00:09:43Marc:Didn't you have that fallback plan, teaching the martial arts or something?

00:09:46Marc:No.

00:09:46Marc:I just took it.

00:09:51Guest:Yo, are you recording right now?

00:09:53Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:09:53Guest:Yo, I know you ain't talking shit.

00:09:55Guest:No.

00:09:56Guest:Remember the Buzzcocks?

00:09:58Guest:You were on your way.

00:09:59Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:09:59Guest:Remember the Buzzcocks?

00:10:00Guest:I go, oh, shit.

00:10:01Guest:I hate it every second of that.

00:10:03Guest:You look so angry.

00:10:04Guest:I hate it every second of it.

00:10:05Guest:You know what's so funny?

00:10:05Marc:I'm so glad it didn't work out.

00:10:06Guest:I would have been the wrong guy.

00:10:07Guest:You know what I like about you?

00:10:08Guest:You had a show and you were still angry.

00:10:10Guest:You were still shitty.

00:10:11Guest:It was terrible.

00:10:12Marc:The only reason I did it was because I was just out of my first divorce.

00:10:17Marc:I know.

00:10:18Marc:Broke.

00:10:18Marc:I knew it was a Mishnah.

00:10:19Marc:Was it Mishnah?

00:10:20Marc:No.

00:10:21Marc:That's the first one.

00:10:21Marc:Wait a minute.

00:10:22Marc:Twice?

00:10:23Marc:Yeah.

00:10:23Marc:The Buzzcocks was after the first divorce.

00:10:26Marc:I was dating Mishnah.

00:10:27Marc:And that was a friend of me and Artie's.

00:10:30Guest:Right.

00:10:31Guest:Yeah.

00:10:31Guest:Mishnah.

00:10:31Guest:How is he doing?

00:10:32Guest:He's doing good, man.

00:10:34Guest:Artie's doing good.

00:10:34Guest:No one ever talks about Artie.

00:10:36Guest:Because no one gives a shit.

00:10:38Guest:I ask people about Artie.

00:10:39Guest:It's all about Tracy Morgan, which they all were in the fucking car.

00:10:43Guest:Yeah.

00:10:43Guest:Harris Stanton, another comedian, was in the car, broke his wrist.

00:10:46Guest:The guy, Jimmy Mack, died.

00:10:48Guest:Died.

00:10:48Guest:I never knew Jimmy.

00:10:49Guest:Yeah.

00:10:50Guest:But, yeah.

00:10:51Guest:But, Artie, it didn't sound good at first.

00:10:53Guest:You know how I heard about Artie in the accident?

00:10:55Guest:I was sleeping.

00:10:56Guest:You ever, you know, on the road and leave the TV on?

00:10:58Guest:Yeah.

00:10:58Guest:Left the TV on.

00:10:59Guest:CNN.

00:11:00Guest:I'm sleeping.

00:11:01Guest:I hear Artie Fuqua.

00:11:03Guest:I wake up to that.

00:11:05Guest:Yeah.

00:11:06Guest:And I'm like, he made it.

00:11:07Guest:He made it right up there.

00:11:09Guest:I'm like, Artie's on CNN, but it's because of the accident.

00:11:12Guest:Ugh.

00:11:12Guest:And so he broke his femur.

00:11:15Guest:Okay.

00:11:15Guest:Not the tibia muscle, which is the bottom.

00:11:17Guest:I know.

00:11:17Guest:The femur.

00:11:18Guest:Rough pins.

00:11:20Guest:Yeah, he has like a steel rod.

00:11:21Guest:So he's going through rehab.

00:11:22Guest:He's fine.

00:11:23Guest:They put him in an induced coma.

00:11:25Guest:Just because he had brain, you know, there was some swelling.

00:11:28Guest:That guy's worried about.

00:11:29Guest:And so we waited for a while, and everybody started calling me.

00:11:34Guest:Yeah.

00:11:35Marc:Asking me where... Why did they put him in a induced coma?

00:11:37Guest:Well, he had to have his stuff stabilized because...

00:11:40Guest:I guess to heal his brain to heal.

00:11:43Guest:He got a concussion.

00:11:44Guest:He got concussion.

00:11:45Guest:He doesn't even remember the accident.

00:11:47Guest:But is his brain okay otherwise?

00:11:48Guest:His brain is fine.

00:11:49Guest:He's shitting on people again.

00:11:51Guest:But like, no, no.

00:11:52Guest:No, no, no.

00:11:55Guest:None of that shit.

00:11:56Guest:No.

00:11:56Guest:He's like quick and fast.

00:11:58Guest:He doesn't remember the accident.

00:11:59Guest:Why would you?

00:12:00Guest:Why?

00:12:01Guest:Yeah.

00:12:01Guest:I mean, I go, what happened?

00:12:02Guest:He goes, I don't know.

00:12:03Guest:I don't know what happened.

00:12:05Guest:It was bad.

00:12:05Guest:Yeah.

00:12:06Guest:He doesn't remember that.

00:12:07Guest:I'm so good.

00:12:08Guest:That's so good to hear he's okay.

00:12:09Guest:Everybody went to visit him.

00:12:10Guest:A lot of people called him.

00:12:12Guest:People that usually wouldn't fuck with Artie actually called him.

00:12:16Guest:I said, well, I hope it doesn't take an accident for you motherfuckers to actually give a shit about the guy.

00:12:21Marc:If anything happens to you, I'll make sure to think about Colin.

00:12:24Marc:Really?

00:12:24Marc:Can you think about it?

00:12:25Marc:Yeah.

00:12:26Marc:I'll be like, how old do I know that guy really?

00:12:29Marc:How would you say I talk?

00:12:31Marc:You talk articulately.

00:12:33Marc:Did you put clearly?

00:12:35Guest:No, say that again.

00:12:35Guest:Articulately.

00:12:36Marc:You don't even know how to say articulately.

00:12:37Marc:I have a speech impediment.

00:12:39Guest:Which are L's.

00:12:40Guest:You got the Tom Brokaw shit.

00:12:41Marc:Yeah, I got some of that.

00:12:42Guest:When you get to your L's, it's like your tongue looks at me and gets confused.

00:12:46Guest:It doesn't do it right.

00:12:47Marc:Really?

00:12:47Marc:Articulately.

00:12:48Marc:Articulately.

00:12:49Marc:That's pretty close.

00:12:52Guest:I wish people could see what I'm looking at.

00:12:54Guest:Your tongue is stupid.

00:12:56Guest:Yeah, it does.

00:12:56Marc:It doesn't do the right L. Your tongue stinks.

00:12:58Marc:Do it one more time.

00:12:59Marc:Articulately.

00:13:02Marc:It doesn't do the right thing.

00:13:04Marc:Articulately.

00:13:04Marc:I know, but I say Ws.

00:13:05Guest:There's some words I struggle on.

00:13:07Marc:Rolling Ls is what I have.

00:13:08Guest:I want to make sure I know white dudes with speech impediment, because you guys are always trying to shit on black dudes and we can't speak English, but you fuckers are sitting up there with good jobs having speech impediments.

00:13:18Marc:I do not represent the white race.

00:13:20Marc:You don't?

00:13:20Guest:No.

00:13:21Marc:I have a speech impediment.

00:13:22Marc:I just said impediment.

00:13:23Marc:You said impairment?

00:13:24Marc:Impediment.

00:13:25Marc:I have a speech impediment.

00:13:27Okay.

00:13:28Marc:I'm white, but I know you were looking for me to tell you that you don't talk like a black man.

00:13:34Marc:Right.

00:13:34Marc:You were digging for that.

00:13:36Guest:I was digging.

00:13:37Marc:I thought you would fucking get in.

00:13:38Marc:No.

00:13:39Marc:But you're not like that.

00:13:40Marc:No, I don't.

00:13:41Marc:Look, I don't see race.

00:13:45Marc:You're just a black guy in my garage.

00:13:48Guest:Yo, you know what you sound like?

00:13:50Guest:You sound like Tarantino in Pulp Fiction.

00:13:55Guest:I didn't say dead storage.

00:13:58Guest:This is live Negro storage.

00:14:00Guest:You can't even do it.

00:14:02Guest:But you know what?

00:14:03Guest:I used the N word yesterday at the comedy store.

00:14:06Guest:i mean i don't that's not my thing and it's like the word pussy i don't the comedy store out of you no no no nigga or pussy yeah i don't like that word as describing vagina i just that's just not my i like pussy no no i like to call somebody a pussy yeah but i don't go yo ladies man when you get your pussy right yeah i'm not that's just not my flavor i don't think you say anything i like to say vaginas you do yeah well

00:14:30Guest:But I'm not really into the sex jokes like that.

00:14:33Guest:Sure.

00:14:33Guest:I like Edge.

00:14:34Guest:I talk about race.

00:14:35Guest:You know, I'm all about race.

00:14:36Guest:All about race.

00:14:37Guest:All the time.

00:14:38Guest:Even if we're in a peaceful setting, I want to bring the shit up.

00:14:41Guest:Do you?

00:14:41Guest:Like right now, I'm like, man, Mark.

00:14:43Guest:You feel like it.

00:14:44Guest:No, it's very serene here, Mark.

00:14:45Guest:You got all kind of cool shit, but I want to bring up race.

00:14:48Guest:Why have black people on the wall?

00:14:49Marc:There's Howlin' the Wolf over there.

00:14:51Guest:Every white man has a blues singer on their wall.

00:14:54Guest:Chuck Berry's not a blues singer.

00:14:56Guest:Oh, you don't think he came from the blues?

00:14:58Guest:He did, but I wouldn't call him a blues man.

00:15:00Guest:He's the king of rock and roll.

00:15:01Guest:Fuck Elvis.

00:15:02Guest:How's that?

00:15:02Marc:Exactly.

00:15:03Marc:I'm with you on that.

00:15:04Guest:The shit he did with guitars, even though he fucked little girls and all that shit, he's fucked up.

00:15:08Guest:But Chuck Berry was way better than Elvis.

00:15:10Guest:Did he fuck little girls?

00:15:11Guest:He took pictures.

00:15:12Guest:Oh, he took pictures.

00:15:14Marc:He took pictures of people in the restroom of his restaurant.

00:15:18Marc:And I think he peed on a lady.

00:15:20Guest:Okay, he peed on a lady.

00:15:22Guest:Every time a cool, artsy, smart, intellectual, eclectic white dude, I go to their house, they always have black blues players on their walls all the time.

00:15:32Marc:I'm getting my Kanye portrait framed right now.

00:15:36Marc:And I'm going to have that put in later.

00:15:37Guest:You're going to interview Kanye.

00:15:39Guest:You'll interview famous black dudes.

00:15:41Guest:I would like to.

00:15:42Guest:I would like to.

00:15:43Guest:Okay, can I tell you something about your podcast?

00:15:45Guest:This is what I kind of like about the champs.

00:15:48Guest:You heard about champs.

00:15:48Guest:All they interview is white people.

00:15:50Guest:Dude, all you guys interview is white people.

00:15:52Guest:I'm trying.

00:15:54Marc:I'm trying to mix it up.

00:15:56Guest:It's not hard.

00:15:57Guest:You sound like networks, man.

00:15:58Marc:It's not that hard.

00:15:59Guest:It's not as easy as you think.

00:16:01Guest:No, you just got to go, just let them in.

00:16:04Marc:Just open the fucking door.

00:16:05Marc:Can I talk to the guy that has Cat Williams' phone right now?

00:16:09Marc:Is there a guy that carries his phone?

00:16:13Guest:There's so many black comedians.

00:16:14Marc:No, it's just Cat Williams.

00:16:17Guest:Same motherfuckers.

00:16:18Guest:He's funny.

00:16:19Marc:Let's get back to this racing.

00:16:20Marc:I'm trying to book more black people.

00:16:22Marc:I did a whole episode.

00:16:23Marc:You should book more black people.

00:16:25Marc:I did a whole episode of my TV show about it.

00:16:27Guest:I had Bruce Bruce play himself.

00:16:30Guest:I told you.

00:16:32Guest:at fucking Austin Moon Tower to put me on an episode of your show.

00:16:37Guest:I said, why don't you, we talk about why don't you have more black people on your fucking podcast and you use Bruce Bruce instead of me?

00:16:43Marc:I think he's got a bigger name than you.

00:16:45Guest:Oh, you're such an asshole!

00:16:47Marc:Doesn't he?

00:16:48Marc:Bruce Bruce?

00:16:49Marc:Bruce is my man.

00:16:50Marc:Bruce is huge.

00:16:51Marc:Right, exactly.

00:16:52Guest:But wait a minute.

00:16:52Guest:What?

00:16:53Guest:I told you that.

00:16:55Guest:We talked about it.

00:16:56Marc:You sure reminded me.

00:16:57Marc:We talked about it in the green room.

00:16:58Marc:I know.

00:16:59Marc:And you went and put Bruce Bruce on and not me, and I brought the idea up to you.

00:17:02Marc:Well, he plays a very, very popular black comedian.

00:17:06Marc:Listen.

00:17:07Marc:And listen.

00:17:07Marc:And he plays himself.

00:17:08Marc:Like, if I said, oh, I got it.

00:17:09Guest:Holy shit.

00:17:11Guest:I hope I can get God.

00:17:11Guest:I'm not knocking anything.

00:17:13Guest:I'm not.

00:17:13Guest:I don't want no.

00:17:14Guest:We'll take care of it.

00:17:14Guest:I love Bruce Bruce, but how do I get on?

00:17:16Guest:And I gave you that idea.

00:17:17Guest:How can I get on your show?

00:17:19Guest:You gave me that idea.

00:17:20Guest:I say, why don't you have an episode of where a black comic says, how come you never have any black people on your podcast?

00:17:26Guest:And you said, yo, that's a good idea.

00:17:29Guest:Oh, shit.

00:17:30Guest:It was at Moon Tower in Austin, Texas.

00:17:31Marc:Do you know how long black people have been telling me that I need to put more black people on?

00:17:36Marc:Do you know how long that's been going?

00:17:37Guest:Listen, it's not.

00:17:38Guest:Okay, listen.

00:17:38Guest:No one's waking up going, I got to get on Mark.

00:17:40Guest:No, I think some of them are.

00:17:41Guest:No black people.

00:17:42Guest:No?

00:17:42Guest:I don't think so.

00:17:43Guest:But see, that's the problem then.

00:17:45Guest:No, it's not the problem, but we already automatically think you don't want us.

00:17:47Guest:I want you.

00:17:48Guest:No.

00:17:49Guest:I want all black comics.

00:17:52Guest:Okay, can I tell you something that happened?

00:17:54Guest:Jamie Masada at Laugh Factory got a letter faxed to him saying that some white comedian sent him, hey, we're tired of you putting up all these black comedians.

00:18:05Guest:You're discriminating against white comedians.

00:18:07Guest:He puts up five of them.

00:18:09Guest:Yeah.

00:18:09Guest:And he just got the letter the other day.

00:18:11Guest:Yeah.

00:18:11Guest:And what did he say?

00:18:12Guest:And Jamie, well, Jamie's like, listen, buddy, someone tried to threaten me.

00:18:16Guest:Put black media.

00:18:18Guest:I put all kind of media everywhere.

00:18:20Guest:What the fuck you talk about?

00:18:22Guest:I don't know what Jamie was saying, but he goes, he goes, first of all- That was interesting.

00:18:26Marc:That was almost like an Asian Jamie.

00:18:28Guest:But he has Asians work for him.

00:18:31Guest:Yeah.

00:18:32Guest:So it's Asian versus Persian accent.

00:18:35Marc:So he's like, hey, I put many comedians- I need more Asian comics, too, and more Latino comics.

00:18:40Marc:Why don't you- There's Elliot Chang.

00:18:42Guest:There's Helen Hong.

00:18:43Guest:Have you interviewed Helen Hong?

00:18:45Marc:Are you making these names up?

00:18:46Guest:No, she's funny as shit.

00:18:47Guest:Helen Hong, there's a lot of- You did Steve Byrne, right?

00:18:50Guest:Steve Byrne?

00:18:51Guest:Yeah, I did Steve Byrne.

00:18:51Guest:Steve Byrne, he's half Asian, but-

00:18:53Guest:Whatever.

00:18:53Guest:There's a lot of them.

00:18:54Guest:You just got to ask.

00:18:55Guest:I got to get out there.

00:18:56Guest:You don't have to get out there.

00:18:57Guest:Have your booker get them.

00:18:59Guest:You got people to do shit for you, man.

00:19:00Guest:Everybody knows about what the fuck.

00:19:02Guest:Do they have to be super famous?

00:19:04Marc:Wow.

00:19:05Marc:No.

00:19:05Marc:Clearly.

00:19:06Marc:I'm interviewing you.

00:19:07Marc:I interviewed-

00:19:10Marc:That was a good one.

00:19:12Guest:I open the door because I want you to fucking whoop.

00:19:15Guest:I want you to get on me.

00:19:16Guest:You like it.

00:19:17Guest:I fucking love it.

00:19:18Guest:You get a kick out of it.

00:19:18Guest:Why?

00:19:19Guest:Who wouldn't be on a Marc Maron cast and get fucked up by your sarcasm?

00:19:23Guest:No, I don't, but I don't do it to everybody.

00:19:25Guest:There's only certain people that I have that relationship with.

00:19:28Guest:I've seen you interview some people and I just go, that ain't Marc.

00:19:30Guest:Marc is laughing too much.

00:19:33Guest:Mark is full of shit.

00:19:34Marc:I'm the new Mark.

00:19:35Guest:Mark's like this, really?

00:19:37Guest:Tell me about your- I do that.

00:19:39Marc:I go, Mark is actually interested in somebody.

00:19:41Marc:I'm interested.

00:19:44Marc:You only know me from the back of comedy clubs.

00:19:47Marc:I know, but that's the raw shit.

00:19:50Marc:defensive here it's comfortable it's my home that's true yeah you're so like yeah it's normal I'm a normal guy cause usually you know you got one impression of me and you draw it out of me you demand it I do you need to be taken down a notch always that's fine I'm here to get taken down a notch I'm not being surprised by shit but by your kindness that's the only thing I'm being fucking surprised about we're here to celebrate your career there it is again

00:20:20Marc:You're like Mayweather, man.

00:20:21Marc:You'll have your hands up and then, boom, you'll throw a punch.

00:20:25Marc:No, but I don't know a lot about you.

00:20:27Marc:So wait, so where'd you grow up?

00:20:29Marc:Chicago.

00:20:30Marc:Really?

00:20:30Marc:Always in Chicago?

00:20:31Marc:Chicago.

00:20:32Marc:Where were you born?

00:20:35Marc:Lincoln, Nebraska.

00:20:36Marc:Really?

00:20:37Guest:Yeah, I'm not fucking around.

00:20:38Guest:Why'd your parents- Because that's where they went, shit.

00:20:42Guest:Nigeria, from Nigeria to Lincoln, Nebraska.

00:20:44Guest:Yeah.

00:20:44Marc:How does that happen?

00:20:46Marc:Airplane?

00:20:47Marc:No, I know that.

00:20:47Marc:What the fuck?

00:20:48Marc:Like your dad said what?

00:20:49Guest:What the fuck?

00:20:51Marc:I'm looking for a place to live.

00:20:52Marc:I'm getting out of Nigeria.

00:20:53Guest:I'm getting out of Nigeria, but he went to school there.

00:20:56Guest:My father was a teacher, and he went to a teacher's school at Dana College.

00:21:01Guest:It's now defunct.

00:21:02Guest:Now it's called Midwestern University.

00:21:04Guest:In Nebraska.

00:21:05Guest:In Nebraska, got his master's in teaching there, and then moved to Chicago.

00:21:10Guest:I was two years old.

00:21:10Marc:So your father, because you used to do a great bit about the way your father talks.

00:21:16Marc:Yes.

00:21:16Marc:Which I enjoyed.

00:21:17Marc:Mufasa.

00:21:18Marc:Mufasa.

00:21:18Marc:What are you doing?

00:21:19Guest:And it meant, you know what's so funny?

00:21:20Guest:Yeah.

00:21:21Guest:Because when my girlfriend met my dad, she goes, oh my God, he talks like that.

00:21:24Guest:I go, I told you.

00:21:25Guest:She didn't even understand his accent.

00:21:27Guest:He was just talking to her normally like, so, where do you go to school?

00:21:31Guest:She was like, what is he saying?

00:21:32Guest:I go, he asked you, where are you going to school?

00:21:33Guest:He's like, so, where do you go to school?

00:21:35Marc:And she couldn't understand that?

00:21:36Guest:She couldn't understand.

00:21:37Guest:Is she a moron?

00:21:39Guest:No.

00:21:39Marc:No.

00:21:41Guest:Your name is not that far from moron.

00:21:43Guest:All right, stop, Mark.

00:21:44Marc:I like how you draw the line.

00:21:45Marc:Don't you talk about my girlfriend?

00:21:47Guest:Don't you talk about my girlfriend?

00:21:47Guest:Fuck that.

00:21:48Marc:Only if you praising her.

00:21:49Marc:Yeah.

00:21:49Marc:Damn it.

00:21:50Marc:That's it.

00:21:51Marc:I just seemed easy to understand to me.

00:21:53Guest:Yo, he was talking, just talking regular stuff.

00:21:56Marc:He's got a different rhythm.

00:21:58Guest:Yeah, his rhythm's different.

00:21:59Guest:Of course, the accents hit different words.

00:22:01Guest:You know, he speaks the king's English.

00:22:03Guest:Right.

00:22:03Guest:So they were British educated, my mother and my father.

00:22:05Guest:So they're, you know.

00:22:07Marc:Do you have family in Nigeria?

00:22:08Yeah.

00:22:08Guest:plenty and in london plenty all around africa and plenty in london too really yeah because nigerians are you kidding me nigerians and jamaicans and indians live in london man right but like that's interesting because like it's not it's not the american black story it's different it's very different and i can't sell that for shit no can't no one cares

00:22:30Guest:I think when I tell people I'm African, I'm not the African they want to see.

00:22:38Guest:Listen, I have a show I want to pitch to you.

00:22:41Guest:This one is very good.

00:22:43Guest:Wait till you see this one.

00:22:44Guest:It's about my parents come to America.

00:22:48Guest:Then my white friend is my roommate.

00:22:51Guest:Oh, my goodness.

00:22:52Guest:This is going to be a good one.

00:22:54Guest:See, I don't have that help African accent, so white people don't get excited by that shit.

00:23:00Guest:I should go, I have something to pitch.

00:23:02Guest:How do you say pitch this?

00:23:04Guest:Where?

00:23:05Guest:In the beginning.

00:23:07Guest:This would be a good story.

00:23:09Guest:See, I'm talking like a hip guy.

00:23:11Guest:Like, yo, you know I'm African.

00:23:12Guest:So they're like...

00:23:13Guest:Oh, he's African.

00:23:14Marc:I don't really believe that.

00:23:16Marc:But so you never had culturally an accent.

00:23:20Marc:Is there a language that your parents speak?

00:23:22Marc:Igbo.

00:23:22Marc:My tribe is Igbo.

00:23:24Marc:Yeah.

00:23:26Marc:Really?

00:23:26Marc:How many tribes are there in Nigeria?

00:23:28Guest:There's about...

00:23:29Guest:About 10, 11, 12.

00:23:31Guest:Really?

00:23:31Guest:A gang of them.

00:23:32Guest:Yoruba, Udu, Hausa.

00:23:35Guest:But the popular ones are Igbo and Yorubas, okay?

00:23:37Guest:Yeah.

00:23:38Guest:My mother spoke two tribal languages.

00:23:41Guest:She grew up in Lagos, Nigeria.

00:23:43Guest:Yeah.

00:23:43Guest:120 million people in fucking Nigeria, right?

00:23:45Guest:Wow.

00:23:46Guest:Yeah.

00:23:46Guest:It's the largest city.

00:23:48Guest:It's a fourth leading exporter of oil in the world.

00:23:52Marc:And yeah, it's- It was a big exporter of men who sell fake Rolexes too.

00:24:00Marc:Oh, that's Senegal.

00:24:00Marc:Oh, okay.

00:24:01Marc:Sorry.

00:24:02Marc:Sorry.

00:24:02Marc:My mistake.

00:24:03Marc:Was that racist?

00:24:04Marc:No.

00:24:05Marc:It's a misunderstanding.

00:24:05Guest:You're an Africanist.

00:24:06Guest:Okay.

00:24:07Guest:I can't believe it.

00:24:08Guest:You got your Africanist wrong, man.

00:24:09Guest:I fucked it up.

00:24:09Guest:You fucked it up.

00:24:10Guest:All right.

00:24:10Guest:That's like Kenya and Sena... Like in New York?

00:24:13Guest:Yeah.

00:24:13Guest:Like, brother, brother, I have a Rolex for you.

00:24:15Guest:Rolex.

00:24:16Guest:Those are Senegalese?

00:24:16Guest:That's Senegalese.

00:24:18Guest:Brother, brother, come, come, come, come.

00:24:19Guest:I got good, good, good watch for you, brother.

00:24:21Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:24:22Guest:Good, good, good, good.

00:24:23Guest:Very good.

00:24:23Guest:Good, good, good.

00:24:25Guest:I'm going to get you your African shit right.

00:24:26Guest:Okay.

00:24:26Guest:Now, if you go to Ethiopia, it's more... They talk real, because the sizes of their heads kind of like... I didn't say it.

00:24:34Guest:No, I'm anthropologically telling you, my head, I got a West African head.

00:24:38Guest:Really?

00:24:38Guest:And our languages match our heads.

00:24:40Marc:Ethiopian is different.

00:24:41Marc:They're almost Arabic looking.

00:24:43Guest:Right, they got the Eastern, because it's closer to that region.

00:24:46Guest:You know what I mean?

00:24:47Guest:That part of Africa is where Saudi Arabia connects and all that other shit.

00:24:51Guest:So you have that, when they talk, they're skinnier...

00:24:54Guest:Yeah.

00:24:55Guest:You know, they have the smaller heads.

00:24:56Guest:Right.

00:24:57Guest:And their language is lighter.

00:24:58Guest:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:00Guest:Very safe.

00:25:01Guest:Yeah.

00:25:01Guest:Ours is like.

00:25:03Guest:See, I got that head.

00:25:05Guest:Yeah.

00:25:05Guest:It's anthropologically true.

00:25:07Guest:Okay.

00:25:08Guest:There's nothing racist about that.

00:25:10Guest:Okay.

00:25:10Guest:I'm breaking it down to you, man.

00:25:12Marc:No, it's because they stay within the tribes, within the country.

00:25:17Marc:Right.

00:25:17Guest:And then they have European influence like Ethiopia.

00:25:20Marc:Yeah, when the Dutch come over and fuck.

00:25:21Guest:Well, the Dutch fucked around a lot of shit.

00:25:24Guest:Like in Africa, it was English.

00:25:26Guest:I mean, I'm talking about Nigeria is England.

00:25:29Guest:Right.

00:25:29Guest:Ethiopia was Italy.

00:25:31Guest:Italy came.

00:25:32Guest:A lot of Ethiopians speak Italian.

00:25:36Guest:So you got that.

00:25:37Guest:And we had Dutch and Belgium was all in the... I mean, Europe fucked Africa up.

00:25:44Guest:Fuck, just stuck its dick in Africa and just...

00:25:47Guest:Sodomized it for a long time.

00:25:50Marc:So your parents come from which tribe?

00:25:52Guest:Igbos.

00:25:52Guest:The Igbos.

00:25:53Guest:But my mother spoke Yoruba also.

00:25:55Guest:She spoke two languages.

00:25:56Guest:Right.

00:25:56Guest:I'm an Igbo guy, and they spoke that language.

00:25:59Guest:They used broken English a lot when I was growing up.

00:26:01Guest:My sister understands it totally.

00:26:02Guest:You don't.

00:26:03Guest:Because she was born there.

00:26:04Guest:Me and my brother, we understand broken English.

00:26:06Guest:Right.

00:26:07Guest:When they speak broken English, I get it.

00:26:08Guest:But my parents got lazy.

00:26:09Guest:Pieces of Igbo.

00:26:10Guest:Yeah, like pieces of Igbo.

00:26:12Guest:Yeah.

00:26:13Guest:Sounds like a jazz album.

00:26:13Guest:That's the new CD.

00:26:14Guest:That's the news of Miles Davis.

00:26:15Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:26:16Guest:Pieces of Igbo.

00:26:16Guest:Evil is the way to go with jazz.

00:26:23Guest:But I have that.

00:26:25Guest:Hey, pretty good, man.

00:26:25Guest:Thanks, buddy.

00:26:26Guest:You like jazz?

00:26:26Guest:Sure.

00:26:28Guest:Listen, I asked you that because every white guy I know loves jazz and blues.

00:26:33Guest:Yeah.

00:26:34Guest:So you love, basically you are in love with black dudes.

00:26:38Guest:Yeah, but I don't go all crazy about it.

00:26:40Guest:Now you want to say you don't go crazy about it, but I'm saying when you're a guitar player, if you're a musician- I have a great deal of respect for the music that the black people have brought.

00:26:50Marc:But music is black.

00:26:52Marc:I'm willing to admit that.

00:26:53Marc:Music's black.

00:26:54Marc:I admit that.

00:26:54Marc:Black and music are synonymous.

00:26:56Marc:Period.

00:26:57Marc:You need me to say I love black dudes?

00:26:59Marc:Yes.

00:27:01Marc:You on the fence.

00:27:02Marc:I'm on the fence with you usually.

00:27:04Marc:But, yeah, there's some black dudes that I love.

00:27:07Guest:They've changed my life.

00:27:08Guest:But you like black dudes that are dead and are in posters.

00:27:11Guest:Well, no, Chuck Berry's still alive.

00:27:13Guest:But you like, you know how there's- I said I like Cat Williams.

00:27:17Guest:That is true.

00:27:18Marc:But I think it's because he's huge.

00:27:19Marc:No, he's funny.

00:27:20Marc:No, Cat is phenomenally funny.

00:27:22Marc:He's unreal.

00:27:23Marc:Every time I watch him, I'm like, holy shit.

00:27:25Guest:He's so good.

00:27:26Guest:He's so smart.

00:27:27Guest:He's like the best.

00:27:28Guest:Cat Williams is so smart, so gangster.

00:27:30Guest:He's all of that in one.

00:27:31Guest:you know he introduced me and I'm not lying he introduced me one day we were at this post Emmy or Grammy some shit party and he said I'm gonna introduce you to some motherfuckers I was like alright and guess who the first person he introduced me to the first person Martin Landau really?

00:27:51Guest:He goes, Martin Landau, legendary, goes, hey, what's up, Kat?

00:27:57Guest:I go, holy shit.

00:27:59Guest:And then Kat goes, I'm going to introduce you to somebody else.

00:28:03Guest:Fucking, there's music playing.

00:28:05Guest:It's jazz.

00:28:06Guest:Where is it?

00:28:07Guest:Where are you?

00:28:07Guest:It was at some post-

00:28:09Guest:like grammy or or oscar party and then he introduces me guess who's playing jazz piano who jeff goldblum right yeah he likes to play i'm like oh my god he goes hey what's up cat how you doing cat i was like fuck he goes what's up jeff he goes i'm doing fine cat

00:28:26Guest:Yeah.

00:28:27Guest:It was unreal.

00:28:28Guest:Cat is a fucking gangster, man.

00:28:30Guest:Cat Williams is a gangster.

00:28:31Guest:Yeah.

00:28:32Guest:Straight up.

00:28:32Guest:He's awesome.

00:28:33Guest:I love him.

00:28:34Guest:And that's why he still does arenas.

00:28:36Guest:Yeah.

00:28:36Guest:And he's just awesome.

00:28:37Guest:He's thorough, and he's been doing this for a long time, so it's not some overnight bullshit.

00:28:42Guest:Oh, there's Muddy Waters, too.

00:28:43Marc:Of course you have Muddy Waters.

00:28:45Marc:Manish boy?

00:28:46Marc:I have Muddy Waters with a fucked up guitar and that natural hair.

00:28:50Marc:Like, you don't see the picture with the natural fro too often.

00:28:52Guest:No, it's always greased down.

00:28:53Guest:Yeah, look at that.

00:28:54Marc:He's got it up in that picture.

00:28:55Marc:That's a rare shot.

00:28:56Marc:That's a very rare shot.

00:28:57Guest:Him in a full fro, man.

00:28:58Guest:See, but you know how... Look it, you got...

00:29:00Guest:You know what's so funny is your place looks even cooler because you got blues dudes on.

00:29:05Guest:Every white dude puts black, cool dudes on to me to be cool.

00:29:08Guest:What are we supposed to do?

00:29:09Guest:You want me to have Cornel West up?

00:29:10Guest:No, Cornel West, that's hot.

00:29:11Guest:But I'm saying as much as white dudes talk shit about us, they always got us on their t-shirts.

00:29:17Guest:You always got black dudes on yours.

00:29:19Guest:I don't talk any shit about you.

00:29:20Guest:I'm just saying other people.

00:29:21Marc:What you're saying is I don't talk to you enough.

00:29:24Guest:it's like not i'm just doing what you guys do categorizes so why i don't know if i want to be in the same thing okay good good for you but okay i just i'm just testing i'm just checking i know you're trying to draw a line i don't know if that helps but i like you there because you don't like a lot of motherfuckers whether they're white or black and i like that you're equal opportunity mother you just i don't oh yes you do i think you know what's worse to you than racism being a hack

00:29:50Guest:That's boring now.

00:29:55Guest:If Hacks were a race, Mark would be like, you'd be like a Nazi.

00:29:59Marc:I've softened up a bit, you know?

00:30:01Marc:So you have older sister?

00:30:04Guest:Yes, I have an older sister.

00:30:05Guest:Lives in Dallas with three kids.

00:30:07Marc:Just one older sister?

00:30:08Guest:One older sister and one younger brother.

00:30:10Marc:Really?

00:30:10Marc:What's that guy do?

00:30:11Guest:My brother just works and just chills out in Chicago.

00:30:15Guest:Yeah.

00:30:15Guest:He does martial arts.

00:30:16Guest:Yeah, he teaches martial arts and shit.

00:30:17Guest:Oh, he teaches martial arts?

00:30:18Guest:Yeah.

00:30:19Guest:Is it that one that you used to do?

00:30:22Guest:Oh, his is Wushu.

00:30:23Guest:I did Hapkido.

00:30:24Guest:Hapkido.

00:30:24Guest:Yeah.

00:30:25Guest:Wushu?

00:30:25Guest:Wushu is like that Jet Li shit.

00:30:27Guest:Oh, yeah?

00:30:28Guest:Yeah, Wushu.

00:30:29Guest:He can fly?

00:30:30Guest:Yeah, he can fly, and he talks in a fucking weird dubbed voice, and he laughs at him.

00:30:34Guest:and your sister just lives in where texas yeah just in texas dallas yeah she's in the medical business really management yeah and your dad still teaches my dad has passed away sorry and my my mother my parents are gone both of them i know you didn't i just what are parents motherfucker there's a pair yeah motherfucker

00:30:54Guest:parents you go both of them yeah i'm sorry man i said my parents no they're gone no they're gone my mother uh like 13 years ago uh-huh leukemia uh-huh my father i think just from being alone i swear my father but he left he was around for like 10 years but i just think he was just done being by himself i did i just think it was that that thing you know he he was a healthy dude and all of a sudden deterioration man i couldn't believe it i was like how old was he

00:31:22Guest:My father, he never really told us his age.

00:31:24Guest:Really?

00:31:24Guest:Yeah.

00:31:25Guest:You had no idea.

00:31:26Guest:You're not supposed to ask.

00:31:26Guest:In Nigerian culture, you don't ask elders their age and shit.

00:31:29Guest:Really?

00:31:30Guest:I'm not even bullshitting you.

00:31:31Guest:My father used to always say he was 100.

00:31:32Guest:Uh-huh.

00:31:33Guest:He's like, how old are you, Dad?

00:31:34Guest:He's like, 100.

00:31:35Guest:So did you go to Nigeria?

00:31:37Marc:You haven't been there?

00:31:38Marc:It was something else.

00:31:39Marc:It was a trip.

00:31:40Marc:And yet, how much family?

00:31:42Guest:Lots of people.

00:31:44Marc:Lots of people.

00:31:44Marc:How many relatives you got there?

00:31:45Guest:Lots of them.

00:31:46Marc:Yeah?

00:31:46Guest:A lot of poverty, too.

00:31:47Guest:Got some wealthy ones, but some lot of poor.

00:31:50Guest:And then you see the poverty.

00:31:52Guest:You go, wow, America ain't shit.

00:31:54Guest:Our poverty is bullshit.

00:31:55Guest:Yeah.

00:31:56Guest:I mean, you know what's so funny?

00:31:57Guest:It's about our poverty in America.

00:31:59Guest:It's like you can actually get out of that shit.

00:32:01Guest:Right.

00:32:02Guest:That's why I go...

00:32:03Guest:A lot of motherfuckers are just lazy and kind of just... I'm not drugged out.

00:32:08Guest:Sometimes drugged out.

00:32:09Guest:And that's fucked up.

00:32:10Guest:But when you see Third World, you just go...

00:32:14Guest:fuck sometimes I think that like it's a misconception that that everybody can just get out of poverty I didn't say just I didn't say you can just get out but I think that there are some avenues if you really make your mind to go hey man I know it's not gonna be easy but I'm talking about when you go to third world you go where the fuck do they start yeah and holy shit yeah I mean honestly you just go with toilets maybe that kind of stuff yeah it's like they just happy to get a bucket of water the whole town celebrates water we got

00:32:44Guest:Water.

00:32:45Guest:Water.

00:32:46Guest:Oh, no, let's celebrate.

00:32:47Guest:Water.

00:32:50Guest:Water.

00:32:51Guest:Water.

00:32:52Guest:Water.

00:32:53Guest:I'm killing on what the fuck, everybody.

00:32:55Guest:Hey, if you want to make Mark laugh, make sure you come to his house.

00:33:00Guest:Because outside of that, he'd have looked at you like, what the fuck are you doing?

00:33:03Guest:Yeah, this is the best.

00:33:04Guest:This is the best seat.

00:33:05Guest:And Mark's red, too.

00:33:06Guest:He's red.

00:33:07Guest:Yeah.

00:33:08Guest:He's red right now.

00:33:08Guest:This is fucking great.

00:33:09Guest:No, but I'm serious, though.

00:33:11Marc:My bad relatives are really, really poor.

00:33:14Marc:It's like poverty.

00:33:15Marc:But your parents came from a middle class in Nigeria?

00:33:18Guest:No, no poverty.

00:33:19Guest:Very poor, but my father was a very like, I'm going to school.

00:33:24Guest:He's very smart.

00:33:25Guest:He had like four brothers and a couple, no, a lot of like kids.

00:33:28Guest:And he made up his mind like, fuck this.

00:33:31Guest:I want to get the fuck out of here.

00:33:32Guest:So you got all these cousins there.

00:33:34Guest:Cousins and uncles and all kind of shit, yeah.

00:33:36Guest:And I have some uncles that have two wives and shit like that.

00:33:40Guest:Oh, they do that?

00:33:42Guest:Yeah, they do it.

00:33:42Guest:In the tribe?

00:33:43Guest:In Nigeria, yeah.

00:33:44Guest:You can do that.

00:33:44Guest:You can have more than one wife.

00:33:45Guest:I have a couple of uncles that have that more than one wife shit.

00:33:49Guest:How do they handle that?

00:33:50Guest:Fine.

00:33:52Guest:They just tell them both to shut up.

00:33:53Guest:You shut up and you shut your mouth.

00:33:55Guest:Go get me something to eat, both of you.

00:33:57Guest:Hurry up and get me something to eat or I kill both of you.

00:34:00Guest:No.

00:34:02Guest:I don't know.

00:34:04Guest:It's probably two motherfuckers getting on their nerves.

00:34:07Guest:I don't know.

00:34:08Guest:Where'd you stay?

00:34:08Guest:Where'd you stay when you go down there?

00:34:10Guest:Where'd I stay?

00:34:10Guest:I stayed at my uncle's, my uncle, Sonia Kosin, who was a very famous singer in Nigeria.

00:34:15Guest:So we were staying with wealthy shit.

00:34:17Guest:He's very famous, but he passed away.

00:34:19Guest:some years ago, but he was very famous in the 60s and 70s and 80s.

00:34:24Guest:What's his name?

00:34:24Guest:Sonny Okosun.

00:34:25Guest:Do you have his records?

00:34:26Guest:Yeah, my mother, you know what?

00:34:28Guest:I don't know if my parents threw him out, but we would get the first press vinyls, and then they would come over, they would have concerts in Chicago.

00:34:38Guest:It was awesome.

00:34:38Guest:You didn't realize how famous my uncle was, because he was just my Uncle Sonny.

00:34:42Guest:Right.

00:34:42Guest:And then when I go to Nigeria, they go, well, where are you staying?

00:34:46Guest:Sonny Okosun.

00:34:47Guest:Sonny Okosun.

00:34:48Guest:No.

00:34:49Guest:You are staying with him.

00:34:50Guest:No.

00:34:52Guest:That is your uncle.

00:34:53Guest:No, he's not your uncle.

00:34:54Guest:And so all of a sudden, you get all these people going, you are Sonny Okosun.

00:34:58Guest:Yeah.

00:34:58Guest:It's like, yeah.

00:34:59Guest:Damn.

00:35:00Guest:He's huge because, you know, in Nigeria.

00:35:01Guest:He's your dad's brother.

00:35:02Guest:It's my, he married my mom's sister.

00:35:06Guest:Oh, okay.

00:35:07Guest:So he was like, that's my son.

00:35:08Guest:And so what's funny is there's famous singers in Nigeria.

00:35:12Guest:Fela is like one of the most famous.

00:35:14Guest:Fela.

00:35:15Guest:But then there's Fela.

00:35:16Guest:There's Ebenezer.

00:35:17Guest:Oh, but then there was my uncle.

00:35:18Guest:They were like, my uncle was like a huge.

00:35:21Guest:Like, are you kidding me?

00:35:22Guest:Yeah.

00:35:23Guest:My uncle Sonny was like, he had a huge record in the 70s called Fire in Soweto where he got in trouble for talking about South Africa.

00:35:30Guest:So it was huge.

00:35:31Guest:So that was like, I didn't realize that my uncle was that big.

00:35:34Guest:Because he was in Nigeria.

00:35:36Guest:It was Nigeria, but he was like the shit.

00:35:38Guest:Yeah.

00:35:39Guest:Yeah, man.

00:35:40Guest:Fire in Soweto.

00:35:41Guest:I got to check it out.

00:35:42Guest:You guys, try to look up for Fire in Soweto.

00:35:45Marc:Because I like, you know, I like Senegalese music.

00:35:48Guest:Oh, you like Baba Maul?

00:35:49Marc:Yeah.

00:35:50Guest:Dude, I'm impressed.

00:35:52Guest:Old Baba Maul.

00:35:53Guest:Old Baba, right.

00:35:54Guest:I saw Baba Maul in concert in Brooklyn.

00:35:56Marc:That album, Baba Maul, Montour Sec.

00:35:58Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:35:59Marc:That fucking record.

00:36:00Marc:Dude, you like... Straight up acoustic Senegalese stuff.

00:36:03Marc:Because Baba Maul got drums and he got bigger.

00:36:06Guest:Have you seen him live?

00:36:09No.

00:36:09Guest:Baba Ma is incredible.

00:36:11Guest:He has male dancers.

00:36:13Guest:Have you seen African dance live?

00:36:15Guest:Not live.

00:36:16Guest:You want to see the origin of dance?

00:36:18Guest:Watch Africans dance.

00:36:19Marc:I know.

00:36:19Marc:It's origin of everything.

00:36:20Guest:We're the origin of everything.

00:36:21Guest:We're the origin of people, motherfucker.

00:36:23Guest:I understand.

00:36:23Guest:We're the origin of people.

00:36:25Guest:That's why I don't dig this shit of all these biblical shows with no black people.

00:36:31Guest:The fuck is that, man?

00:36:32Guest:I know, man.

00:36:33Guest:Everybody's white.

00:36:35Guest:I don't.

00:36:35Guest:Where were we?

00:36:36Guest:If we're the first on the planet, where were we when we didn't get to see Jesus and we speak about Jesus more than anybody and we ain't even on there?

00:36:43Marc:Yeah, I know.

00:36:44Marc:I know.

00:36:45Marc:What color do you think Jesus was?

00:36:48Marc:I think he's a made up man.

00:36:50Marc:There you go.

00:36:53Guest:Can I compliment you?

00:36:56Guest:First of all, even my girl was like, Marc Maron deserves what, he's worked really, he's been around a long time.

00:37:01Guest:No, I'm really happy for you, man.

00:37:04Guest:I mean, genuinely, you, this is your shit, this is perfect for you, I'm glad for your success, and I'm actually happy for you.

00:37:12Marc:What I was going to say is that- I was going to say thank you.

00:37:14Guest:How's that?

00:37:14Guest:Oh, thank you.

00:37:15Guest:Jesus Christ.

00:37:15Marc:I apologize.

00:37:16Guest:That's what I love about you, too.

00:37:17Guest:You don't give a fuck.

00:37:18Guest:Thank you very much.

00:37:19Marc:Anyway, let's move on.

00:37:20Marc:Sorry.

00:37:21Guest:I'm happy for you, too.

00:37:22Marc:You keep it real.

00:37:23Guest:That's what I like.

00:37:23Marc:You always yourself.

00:37:25Marc:I was happy when he thought- You just kept it moving.

00:37:29Marc:You blinked him like, yeah.

00:37:31Marc:No, thank you.

00:37:32Marc:No, I was happy when he thought everything was going to work out.

00:37:35LAUGHTER

00:37:40Guest:oh shit oh fucking oh this is what i wanted i said please don't let this shit be nice please don't let this i said i do not want to come on what the fuck and have me just be be all nice to you oh this is so good but what i was saying is i think i should buy some things people who seem to enjoy it no it's just dude i'm like i'm thinking when i'm driving through the neighborhood i was like okay it's

00:38:09Guest:A lot of Mexicans and shit.

00:38:11Guest:But it looks like hippie.

00:38:12Guest:It looks hippie.

00:38:13Guest:You live like a hippie.

00:38:14Guest:Like, this is cool.

00:38:16Guest:I feel like I'm in the 60s.

00:38:17Guest:Where are you living?

00:38:18Guest:I live, well, right now.

00:38:20Guest:Oh, can I tell you why I'm here?

00:38:21Guest:Yeah.

00:38:22Guest:I'm here because I actually got a show.

00:38:24Guest:Me, articulate black dude that's not fat or short.

00:38:28Guest:Right.

00:38:29Guest:I actually got a show.

00:38:30Guest:Doing what?

00:38:31Guest:I'm hosting this show.

00:38:32Guest:It's on Fox.

00:38:33Guest:Yeah.

00:38:34Guest:It's called Bullseye.

00:38:35Guest:and people do different stunts big time stunts for money and um they get money up to between like 50 grand and up and it's amazing and i'm hosting i'm actually doing a network show that's exciting we've been shooting i knew that it was real when i saw a helicopter on the set i go what the fuck are they about to do with this oh we're gonna we're gonna be dragging people and

00:38:56Guest:And it's really awesome.

00:38:58Guest:Congratulations.

00:38:59Guest:Thank you.

00:39:00Guest:I'm happy you got a good job.

00:39:03Guest:What's really cool is everybody goes, it's about fucking time, dude.

00:39:06Guest:I'm glad it's that.

00:39:07Guest:Yeah.

00:39:08Guest:It's about fucking time.

00:39:09Guest:For you.

00:39:09Guest:For me.

00:39:10Guest:Yeah, no shit.

00:39:10Guest:They say you've been around.

00:39:12Guest:And I heard even a guy like Greg Fitzsimmons.

00:39:15Guest:You know Greg.

00:39:16Guest:Sure.

00:39:16Guest:Happy Greg.

00:39:18Yeah.

00:39:18Guest:another sarcastic oh my god greg goes that's another thing i can't figure out is why godfrey hasn't gotten anything i don't know maybe i pissed somebody off mark no i think what it is is that what do you think you are a very big personality

00:39:36Guest:Well, there's a lot of people with big personalities that are on TV.

00:39:40Guest:What do you mean?

00:39:41Marc:I don't know if that's true.

00:39:43Guest:I think if I were white, I'd have at least a lot of pilots.

00:39:46Guest:At least I'd have a lot of pilots to keep money in my pocket.

00:39:49Marc:I don't know because you're very fast and you're very- Is that wrong?

00:39:52Marc:No, there's nothing wrong with it.

00:39:54Marc:I'm just saying that sometimes it's not... I don't know how well you act or whether... I'm a decent actor.

00:39:59Guest:I have good chops.

00:40:00Guest:Louis C.K., he put me on his show.

00:40:03Guest:Louis C.K.

00:40:04Guest:is one of the few white dudes that is not intimidated and is not on that dumb black shit.

00:40:09Guest:That's why I love Louis, because he put me on the Chris Rock show three times.

00:40:13Guest:And this is without me.

00:40:14Guest:He's put me on his show twice because he told me, hey, man, just be who you are.

00:40:19Guest:You're a talented guy.

00:40:20Guest:Yeah.

00:40:20Guest:Not like a lot of these... I don't know what the reason is.

00:40:22Guest:Yeah.

00:40:22Guest:I don't know.

00:40:24Guest:I'm not trying to fuck your girlfriends.

00:40:26Guest:Don't worry about me.

00:40:27Guest:My girlfriend is fine and she's black.

00:40:30Guest:I don't chase white women.

00:40:32Guest:I never got cast in nothing.

00:40:33Guest:Well, Mark, you did that on your own.

00:40:36Guest:No.

00:40:36Guest:What are you talking about?

00:40:37Guest:I thought you got mad at people a lot.

00:40:40Guest:I did, but that's something.

00:40:41Guest:A white dude that's not working, I always say it's their fault.

00:40:44Guest:Yeah.

00:40:45Guest:It's your fault.

00:40:45Guest:That's interesting.

00:40:46Guest:Like Bill Burr said, a white dude that's homeless, he goes, come on, man.

00:40:50Guest:This shit's set up for you.

00:40:51Guest:It's no excuse.

00:40:52Guest:Bill Burr said that.

00:40:53Guest:He said it.

00:40:54Guest:He said it.

00:40:55Guest:He said, are you kidding me?

00:40:56Guest:What the fuck are you homeless for?

00:40:58Guest:This shit is set up for you, man.

00:41:01Guest:Come on, man.

00:41:02Guest:But I really believe like a lot of guys I know, like a guy like Greer Barnes, who is phenomenally talented.

00:41:09Marc:Yeah, what do you think happened there?

00:41:10Guest:I mean, I think, you know, I think that, I mean, listen, we're all at fault at some point.

00:41:17Guest:I think there was some moves I made that were terrible.

00:41:20Guest:Like what?

00:41:21Guest:I think when I was out here, I was bi-coastal.

00:41:23Guest:I had a shitty fucking manager.

00:41:26Guest:He was garbage.

00:41:28Guest:You know what I'm saying?

00:41:30Guest:How long did that...

00:41:30Guest:About a year or two.

00:41:32Guest:And I'm the type of guy that I'll stick with people because I'm loyal and shit.

00:41:37Guest:You know what I mean?

00:41:37Guest:I'll stick with people because I'm loyal and I'll get shit on because I'm loyal to dudes.

00:41:43Guest:And I can call somebody else out, somebody at CAA.

00:41:47Guest:Sure.

00:41:48Guest:I want to call them out, but I won't.

00:41:50Guest:But that bailed on me after I stuck with that motherfucker.

00:41:53Guest:You know what I mean?

00:41:54Marc:I have found that what you're doing right now has done nothing good for me.

00:41:58Yeah.

00:42:00Guest:I think we might.

00:42:01Guest:No, but I mean, I'm saying I'm loyal, man.

00:42:04Guest:I believe in loyalty and I'd like to believe in people.

00:42:07Guest:And then when they shit on me, I'm like, wow, that's fucked up.

00:42:10Marc:But also that just means that we're kind of, you can be suckered.

00:42:15Guest:Well, I've learned now.

00:42:16Guest:I actually fired a management after about three months, and I did it.

00:42:20Guest:I was like, I'm good.

00:42:22Guest:I told you what I needed.

00:42:24Guest:I told you what I needed.

00:42:25Guest:I've been around long enough.

00:42:27Guest:I'm not a has-been, but I think that this business is long enough where we can actually get shit, but they weren't... And this is why I know there's a red flag.

00:42:36Guest:When they automatically ask for...

00:42:38Guest:commission on your already get your like hey you're at the you're at uncle funny's uh you're gonna give us some money on that i go wow commissioning gigs you booked bullshit but it's bull yeah and i go wow really you're on that so i was like i'm out yeah i'm out yeah you know what i mean and i have to tell like can we have our 300 yeah

00:42:58Guest:Yeah, I tell my people that represent me from my lawyer who's awesome.

00:43:02Guest:Shout out to Jamie Roberts, who's the baddest lawyer on the fucking planet.

00:43:06Guest:And I get him to say, hey, man, tell these people that I'm letting them go because I don't want to curse them out.

00:43:12Guest:I haven't cursed anybody out.

00:43:15Marc:I was with my manager for almost 22 years.

00:43:18Marc:What?

00:43:19Guest:Who were you with?

00:43:20Marc:Before I moved on.

00:43:21Marc:Who were you with?

00:43:21Marc:Becky.

00:43:22Marc:A long time.

00:43:24Marc:Becky's a powerhouse, man.

00:43:26Marc:Yeah, but it just wasn't happening for me.

00:43:28Guest:I was afraid to talk to him because I thought he already had his black dudes.

00:43:33Guest:Once they got their black dudes, you know heard about that one nigga allowed rule, right?

00:43:39Guest:No.

00:43:40Guest:Black people say that.

00:43:40Guest:They only let one nigga in at a time.

00:43:43Guest:It seems Becky has a great success rate.

00:43:45Marc:I would love to be.

00:43:46Marc:I was with him for a long time from back when he started.

00:43:49Marc:Yeah, yeah.

00:43:50Marc:And we're friends.

00:43:51Marc:I talked to him.

00:43:52Guest:He's awesome, yeah.

00:43:53Guest:He's a good dude.

00:43:54Guest:He's a good dude.

00:43:54Guest:But I'm like, damn, maybe I should have went with Becky.

00:43:57Guest:When?

00:43:58Guest:I don't know.

00:43:59Guest:Back in the day, I don't know.

00:44:00Guest:Because I was afraid.

00:44:01Guest:I was intimidated.

00:44:02Guest:I was like, I think he's going to probably pay attention to those black guys and not me.

00:44:06Guest:I don't know.

00:44:06Guest:Yeah.

00:44:07Marc:It all comes down to you in the end.

00:44:10Guest:I think it does.

00:44:11Guest:It comes down to taking your own reins.

00:44:13Marc:You just need somebody to be there to have your name in play.

00:44:16Marc:And then when something happens, to do what needs to be done.

00:44:20Marc:It's set up so you can't do what needs to be done.

00:44:24Marc:You've got to have some people that know how to do that shit.

00:44:27Guest:Well, I'm giving a shout out to my agent, Ian Argetti.

00:44:30Guest:Who is a fucking badass.

00:44:32Guest:We're all happy that you got something.

00:44:34Guest:I'm so happy.

00:44:35Guest:But I'm going to tell you.

00:44:36Guest:Ian was at Paradigm.

00:44:38Guest:And I left when he left.

00:44:40Guest:And went to Innovative with him.

00:44:41Guest:And I'm giving a shout out to Innovative Agency.

00:44:44Guest:Because they actually give a fuck about me.

00:44:46Guest:It's great.

00:44:47Guest:They give a fuck about me.

00:44:48Guest:It's about time.

00:44:50Guest:I know.

00:44:50Guest:But they give a fuck about me.

00:44:52Guest:Even when I'm not getting shit.

00:44:53Guest:They give a damn about me.

00:44:55Guest:I'm giving a shout out to Allie Flaughter.

00:44:57Guest:All right.

00:44:58Guest:All right.

00:44:59Guest:All right.

00:44:59Guest:You didn't win an award.

00:44:59Guest:Jim Oliver.

00:45:00Guest:Allie Flaughter, Jim Oliver.

00:45:02Guest:No, my whole... I'm going to bring the music.

00:45:04Guest:Alan Duncan, who's my voiceover agent in New York City.

00:45:07Guest:Here comes the music.

00:45:09Guest:I'm giving a shout out to Josiah.

00:45:11Guest:All the LA offices in Innovative, Chicago.

00:45:14Guest:I'm telling you, they give a shit about me.

00:45:16Guest:Even when shit isn't going on, that fucking Ian has got me.

00:45:19Guest:My live shit, he's kept me afloat.

00:45:23Guest:Keeping my head above water.

00:45:24Marc:Not trying to be good timesy.

00:45:26Marc:Look, and for something to turn around for a guy in his 50s...

00:45:30Guest:Oh, yes.

00:45:33Guest:Another one by Marc Maron.

00:45:35Guest:You know what?

00:45:36Guest:If there were boxing analysis, they'd be like, yes, Marc hits him again.

00:45:41Guest:He's stumbling.

00:45:43Guest:Oh, you're great.

00:45:44Guest:That's what I want.

00:45:46Guest:That's what I want.

00:45:47Guest:I want to get fucking pummeled by Marc Maron.

00:45:49Guest:And you know what's great is you wait.

00:45:52Guest:You fucking wait.

00:45:53Guest:You just go, and you know a guy in your 50s?

00:45:55Guest:Oh, it's fucking sweet.

00:45:57Guest:Yo, say articulately again.

00:45:59Guest:Articulately.

00:46:00Guest:Oh, you're the worst.

00:46:01Guest:You're fucking Elmer Fudd.

00:46:03Guest:You're like Elmer Fudd.

00:46:04Guest:Articulately.

00:46:06Guest:You're the worst.

00:46:08Guest:Yeah, exactly.

00:46:09Guest:Articulately.

00:46:10Marc:But you had a lot of shots.

00:46:13Marc:Like, you know, you were like in a way.

00:46:14Marc:Not big shots, but you were kind of.

00:46:16Marc:Not big shots.

00:46:17Marc:You were like me.

00:46:17Marc:They kind of kept you in.

00:46:18Marc:You were probably like, I got to get out of here.

00:46:19Guest:Because you're such a really you're such a great comedian, and you're you're you're such a fucking you're you're you're intent you're a lot of guys are intimidated you intimidated by you Intellectually, like you walk in a room, and you're like oh fuck Marc Maron.

00:46:34Guest:I don't know why that is but because you're such a good you're you know

00:46:37Guest:Come on, it's hard.

00:46:38Marc:I think I'm just, like, intense.

00:46:39Guest:You're intense, and you look like you're above all the other comedy.

00:46:43Guest:I know, but I don't think I am.

00:46:44Guest:And your style of comedy is not the easy way to do comedy.

00:46:47Guest:No, it's not the easy way.

00:46:48Guest:You're like the Dennis Millers, the Carlins.

00:46:51Guest:You're like, intellectually, people go, I wish I could do it the other way.

00:46:55Guest:your brain doesn't function like that dude it doesn't function like like my brain doesn't function like some you know let's be real yeah everybody's gonna categorize you when you get on stage oh he's gonna do black comedy my comedy is not the easy way to go i go into race i go into heavy shit i like my intellectual shit is intellectual but you can also do the big funny stuff i

00:47:13Guest:But I'm that kind of guy who's a big silly motherfucker, but I'm a big Carlin fan.

00:47:18Guest:I'm a big, big, big time Carlin guy.

00:47:20Guest:I got to see him live before he passed, and I like that I take that other route.

00:47:25Guest:I've always been different.

00:47:27Guest:I started out in Chicago at Bernie Mac's club, and Bernie took me under his wing.

00:47:33Guest:He did?

00:47:33Guest:He sure did.

00:47:34Guest:I knew Bernie very well.

00:47:35Guest:How old were you?

00:47:36Guest:I was like 22.

00:47:37Guest:Really?

00:47:38Guest:He was a powerhouse.

00:47:40Marc:And he was already in his 10, 11 years when I met him.

00:47:44Marc:The first time I saw Bernie Mac and Cedric and who were the other ones?

00:47:49Marc:D.L.

00:47:49Marc:Hughley.

00:47:51Marc:And Steve Harvey.

00:47:52Marc:I don't know if it was Steve Harvey, though.

00:47:54Marc:It was the Aspen Comedy Festival.

00:47:56Marc:And they brought those guys out there for a showcase.

00:47:59Marc:Powerhouses.

00:48:00Marc:It was Cedric and Bernie.

00:48:02Marc:And who the fuck else?

00:48:03Guest:I don't think it was D.L.

00:48:05Marc:It must have been the mid-90s.

00:48:06Guest:Yeah.

00:48:07Marc:That's when they were.

00:48:07Marc:And Bernie had already been killing at black clubs.

00:48:11Marc:He was a huge star.

00:48:13Marc:But he's just up there in a ski area sweating.

00:48:15Marc:Sweating.

00:48:18Marc:It was something to see, man.

00:48:21Marc:I've never seen dudes look more out of place than Cedric and Bernie in Aspen.

00:48:26Guest:In Aspen.

00:48:27Guest:It was beautiful.

00:48:28Guest:I tell you, motherfucker, let me tell you, I don't know, I've never seen all these motherfucking white people and shit, but let me tell you, goddamn, let me tell you this motherfucking shit.

00:48:36Guest:This motherfucking crazy shit.

00:48:38Guest:That's how Bernie talked.

00:48:40Guest:I know.

00:48:40Guest:Bernie, that was a very Chicago accent, very Southside, Southern.

00:48:45Guest:Chicago accent.

00:48:46Guest:When I first met Bernie, it's so fucking classical.

00:48:49Guest:I go up to him.

00:48:50Guest:I'm on the north side.

00:48:51Guest:I grew up on the north side of Chicago.

00:48:52Guest:You've been Second City.

00:48:54Guest:That's where I grew up.

00:48:55Guest:And so very mixed area, whatever.

00:48:57Guest:So they go, I was like, man, I want to do some urban comedy.

00:49:01Guest:I want to do urban.

00:49:01Guest:They go, well, you need to go see Bernie Mac on the south side of Chicago.

00:49:04Marc:And you're like 22?

00:49:05Marc:What, you went to college?

00:49:06Marc:Yeah, I went to University of Illinois.

00:49:07Marc:And this is after you graduated?

00:49:08Marc:Yeah, yeah.

00:49:08Marc:What'd you get a degree in?

00:49:09Marc:Psychology.

00:49:10Marc:How'd that work out?

00:49:11Guest:It was pretty cool.

00:49:11Guest:It's good.

00:49:12Guest:I've gone beyond my degree using comedy and shit.

00:49:15Marc:I know.

00:49:16Marc:And when did you start doing comedy?

00:49:17Marc:What?

00:49:18Marc:When did you start doing comedy?

00:49:19Marc:Around 22, 23.

00:49:20Marc:That's when it started.

00:49:21Guest:So you got out of college.

00:49:22Marc:You're like, I can't do anything with that fucking degree.

00:49:24Guest:I said, I want to do comedy.

00:49:25Guest:I think I want to start comedy.

00:49:26Guest:Because in college, Tommy Davidson, I'd seen Tommy Davidson.

00:49:30Guest:And I hung out with him.

00:49:31Guest:And he hung out with me.

00:49:31Marc:Before he was all fucked up.

00:49:33Guest:Right.

00:49:33Marc:Yeah.

00:49:33Guest:And Tommy, I was like, wow, I really, really want to do this comedy thing.

00:49:38Guest:Yeah.

00:49:38Guest:And we used to always joke around.

00:49:40Guest:I went away for college.

00:49:41Guest:So we always used to joke.

00:49:42Guest:Where'd you go?

00:49:43Guest:University of Illinois, Champaign.

00:49:44Guest:not too far finding a line yeah two hours two and a half hours away far enough and um we used to joke and i used to that's in college in college play football and shit played a little football and you know i walked on the team and they said you're gonna be a really good comedian yeah i ain't getting no playing time

00:50:00Guest:um so i started to really start i was really militant in college too i started getting really militant about black black history sure and just we had an african-american uh cultural center yeah where we all came together on sundays and did our own private like we started reading books outside of the curriculum and the president tried to stop it really stan eikenberry yeah he tried to stop it like what books

00:50:24Guest:Well, let's say Stolen Legacy, The History of Black Civilization, Behold a Pale White Horse, The Autobiography of Malcolm X. Yeah.

00:50:37Guest:You had a problem with that?

00:50:39Guest:Well, they had a problem because we were learning real history and how whites made everything in the books.

00:50:47Guest:Growing up in grade school, it was like, hey, slavery and now Martin Luther King.

00:50:51Guest:Yeah.

00:50:51Guest:What?

00:50:52Guest:Yeah.

00:50:52Marc:Something must have happened in between.

00:50:54Guest:Right.

00:50:55Guest:And probably now they're going slavery and the NBA.

00:50:58Guest:I mean, you know, slavery.

00:50:59Guest:Yeah.

00:51:00Guest:I mean, come on.

00:51:01Guest:You know, so we started to learn.

00:51:03Guest:Wow.

00:51:03Guest:We were doctors, lawyers.

00:51:04Guest:We were this.

00:51:05Guest:We were that.

00:51:05Guest:We did so much.

00:51:07Guest:And me being Nigerian, even though I'm an African, still, I'm still an American.

00:51:12Guest:I'm treated the same way.

00:51:13Guest:That's why I don't understand when Africans come to America, they act like they're better than African Americans, which is fucking stupid because they treat us the same exact way sometimes kind of in a way.

00:51:22Guest:You know what I mean?

00:51:22Guest:Sure.

00:51:23Guest:I mean, I've been told at auditions, auditioning for a Nigerian part.

00:51:28Guest:I've auditioned for Nigerian parts.

00:51:30Guest:They go, you're not African enough.

00:51:34Guest:See, they want me to go, hello.

00:51:37Guest:Excuse me, do you have some clothing for me to put on?

00:51:41Guest:I only have this loincloth over my cock.

00:51:44Guest:You know what I mean?

00:51:45Guest:You have actual white people telling me that I'm not African enough because they know Africa better than I do.

00:51:52Guest:So, okay, so at 22, you talked to Tommy.

00:51:56Guest:I talked to Tommy, and he hung out, and I said, after I graduate college, I was dating this chick.

00:52:02Guest:It was a rebound chick, and she had taken down these notes, and she took down these notes and said, hey, you should do... I wrote down a lot of the shit you were saying, and I've never heard anybody say it the way you say it.

00:52:17Guest:And the reason why, and I'm being honest...

00:52:19Guest:I became a comic, not necessarily, oh, you're funny.

00:52:23Guest:Everybody says that.

00:52:24Guest:I took pride in the fact that I was this black dude who actually knew about different shit.

00:52:31Guest:My parents raised me in a very different way.

00:52:34Guest:I knew a lot of black movies and black and white movies.

00:52:38Guest:I was just into a lot of other shit.

00:52:40Guest:I wanted to be an astronaut.

00:52:41Guest:I was into NASA.

00:52:42Guest:I was boring, but I played a lot of baseball.

00:52:46Guest:My baseball knowledge is ridiculous.

00:52:48Guest:Yeah.

00:52:48Guest:And a lot of I mean, I'm saying a lot of my friends, a lot of black dudes that I knew grew up when I grew up with.

00:52:53Guest:I knew black guys that played hockey.

00:52:55Guest:Yeah.

00:52:55Guest:My friends, they were hockey players.

00:52:56Guest:Right.

00:52:58Guest:So I was very it was eclectic.

00:52:59Guest:I can consider that eclectic.

00:53:01Guest:Right.

00:53:01Guest:So I took pride in that when I do comedy, I'm going to have so much different shit because every black dude is going to be kind of the same.

00:53:08Guest:But I'm going to be different.

00:53:09Guest:And when I started to do Bernie Mac's Club, Bernie was like, he was like, let me tell you why I like you.

00:53:15Guest:Because you're different.

00:53:16Guest:You know what I'm saying?

00:53:18Guest:You got motherfuckers in the audience.

00:53:20Guest:And the audience would be like pimps, hustlers.

00:53:22Guest:But then Michael Jordan would be there.

00:53:24Marc:Yeah.

00:53:24Guest:All kinds of different people.

00:53:26Guest:He's like, but you talk about all this smart shit, but motherfuckers is cracking up.

00:53:31Guest:He goes, you're versatile.

00:53:33Guest:And that's what I took pride in, was that I was different.

00:53:35Guest:That whenever I leave the stage, my thing is, that dude was fucking different.

00:53:40Guest:He just talked about other shit.

00:53:41Guest:But it wasn't magic.

00:53:42Guest:I was just like, why don't I talk about this instead of that?

00:53:45Guest:Yeah.

00:53:46Guest:Everybody's talking about this thing.

00:53:47Guest:Why don't I talk about that thing?

00:53:48Guest:Right.

00:53:49Guest:And then when I came to New York, which made me 700 times better when I saw you guys performing, you and Colin and fucking Geraldo, and I was like, wow, now this is what I'm talking about.

00:54:01Guest:And then I was like, you know, of course...

00:54:04Guest:you know me robert kelly and all of us we were the personality guys and but then eventually all that we started to actually write better jokes and just watching you guys and i'm actually saying this watching you guys i was like fuck man i need to get back i need to get better jokes atel yeah fuck man yeah and everybody will watch it telling but oh i gotta go back right yeah and we still do and atel is still we have to sell her

00:54:29Guest:You just go, I got to go back and write a better joke.

00:54:32Marc:Where's he got time to do that?

00:54:33Guest:God damn it.

00:54:35Guest:And I mean, just really great jokes and joke writing.

00:54:39Guest:And you're part of that.

00:54:41Guest:I don't mind complimenting you.

00:54:42Guest:Not because I'm on your damn podcast, but you're a fucking phenomenal joke writer.

00:54:46Guest:Thank you.

00:54:47Guest:And so I got influenced.

00:54:49Guest:I said, how can I do that?

00:54:51Guest:But still be myself.

00:54:52Guest:Still use my whatever energy.

00:54:55Guest:And so now I'm that guy.

00:54:57Guest:I can talk about really edgy shit.

00:55:00Guest:And I'm not happy with myself when it's easy.

00:55:03Guest:I'm not happy when I get a cheap laugh.

00:55:05Guest:I like it when I get a laugh where people are like, fuck.

00:55:08Marc:Well, yeah, and you really illustrate everything.

00:55:10Marc:You play it out.

00:55:11Guest:You act it out.

00:55:11Guest:That's how I do it.

00:55:12Guest:Yeah, it's great.

00:55:13Guest:It's prior-esque, and Carlin was like that.

00:55:15Guest:Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

00:55:16Guest:He still acted stuff out.

00:55:17Marc:But it's so funny.

00:55:18Marc:Did you stay in touch with Bernie all through?

00:55:20Guest:Yeah, I remember Keith Robinson.

00:55:24Guest:Keith, one time Keith.

00:55:26Marc:I have Keith on for a long one.

00:55:28Marc:Did you have Keith on?

00:55:29Marc:I have him on a live one.

00:55:31Guest:Oh, you got to have him on.

00:55:32Guest:Yeah, I know.

00:55:33Guest:Oh, Keith, God damn it.

00:55:34Guest:Let me tell you something.

00:55:34Guest:Yeah, stupid.

00:55:36Guest:What the fuck?

00:55:36Guest:I'm so sick of you, God damn it.

00:55:39Guest:Keith is phenomenal.

00:55:39Guest:Keith was on tour with Bernie.

00:55:43Guest:Yeah.

00:55:43Guest:And so Keith calls me and goes, yo, Godfrey, man, I'm on tour with Bernie Mac.

00:55:49Guest:You know, he just gave you a compliment.

00:55:51Guest:Bernie gets on the phone and says, hey, boy, what's up, motherfucker?

00:55:54Guest:I'm proud of you, man.

00:55:55Guest:And I said, I told you, Bernie was –

00:55:57Guest:a good man to me.

00:56:00Guest:He used to school me on shit.

00:56:02Guest:I was so fortunate to sit there with his wife and him at three in the morning when the bar was closed and he would just sit there schooling me on shit.

00:56:11Guest:Like, what'd he tell you?

00:56:12Guest:He would just be like, listen, let me tell you something.

00:56:15Guest:I have to imitate him.

00:56:16Guest:He said, let me tell you something.

00:56:17Guest:When the motherfuckers are on stage and shit, you gotta understand, it's not about trying to get a standing ovation and shit.

00:56:24Guest:He said, 50% of performance is being interesting.

00:56:29Guest:He's like, fuck a joke.

00:56:31Guest:Let a motherfucker like that he's in the same motherfucking room with you.

00:56:35Guest:He said, that's half the battle.

00:56:37Guest:It's them just liking to be in the room with you.

00:56:41Guest:You see some comics that are not even that funny, but they're just fucking, you just want to be, you just want to watch them.

00:56:47Guest:You just want to fucking watch them.

00:56:49Guest:He said half the battle is just, he goes, first of all, you're never going to be super funny five.

00:56:55Guest:He goes, too many motherfuckers try to be funny.

00:56:57Guest:He goes, that's unreal.

00:56:59Guest:He's like, just be interesting.

00:57:01Guest:The funny will be there.

00:57:02Guest:It's up and down.

00:57:03Guest:You got to take him for a motherfucking ride.

00:57:05Guest:You got to tell him a story.

00:57:07Guest:The motherfucker, when you leave the stage, motherfucker, I know about this motherfucker.

00:57:11Guest:I know this motherfucker.

00:57:13Guest:He fucking, I'm telling you, he schooled me.

00:57:17Guest:I mean, I was fortunate to be schooled.

00:57:20Guest:One time, you remember when Jerry Seinfeld was filming his comedian?

00:57:25Marc:Yeah.

00:57:25Guest:I was around there.

00:57:26Guest:I got to know the camera dudes.

00:57:28Guest:So Seinfeld, that's how I got in two scenes.

00:57:32Guest:I sat there, and Seinfeld had asked me.

00:57:34Guest:He had seen me do this bit about going to Egypt when I had gone to Egypt for New Year's for 2000.

00:57:41Guest:Remember the big 2000?

00:57:43Guest:I still traveled.

00:57:46Guest:And so I went, and I came back.

00:57:49Guest:And when I came back from Egypt, I had a spot.

00:57:51Guest:I dropped my bags and still did my set.

00:57:54Guest:And I did this whole set about riding a camel, the camel ride.

00:57:57Guest:Seinfeld had happened to see it.

00:57:59Guest:And he said, I've been wanting to talk to you.

00:58:01Guest:And he sat me down.

00:58:03Guest:And I remember Jim Norton was looking annoyed that I was talking to Seinfeld.

00:58:07Guest:He goes, hey, man, I just want to give you some.

00:58:09Guest:He gave me advice.

00:58:10Guest:about about um he said how long have you been doing comedy and i said uh i stuck my chest i said i've been doing about eight years man i was like eight years he goes okay that's kindergarten yeah you know that's kindergarten he goes remember this all your years in comedy it's like it's like your age as a kid that'll keep your perspective where you won't get too fucking high and mighty with you shit if you're eight if you've been doing comedy eight years you're an eight-year-old uh-huh

00:58:36Guest:If you've been doing it 10 years, you're a 10-year-old.

00:58:38Guest:Just think of it like that, and you'll just always kind of, you'll just stay even keel.

00:58:43Guest:I think that's fucking cool.

00:58:44Marc:That was the advice he gave you.

00:58:46Guest:He gave, and he talked about certain jokes I do.

00:58:48Guest:He goes, you don't mind me giving you advice.

00:58:51Guest:I said, dude, you have 40 Porsches.

00:58:53Guest:I don't give a fuck.

00:58:54Guest:You give me a hack joke, I'll do it.

00:58:56Guest:He goes, like some jokes where you laugh at it, don't laugh at it sometimes.

00:59:00Guest:If you stay more serious, it'll have more of a punch to it.

00:59:03Guest:Like some jokes you laugh at, I noticed, he goes, he actually, I was just happy as fuck.

00:59:07Guest:He goes, be more serious about it and it'll even have more of an effect.

00:59:11Guest:And I was like, fucking cool.

00:59:13Guest:So he gave me really good advice.

00:59:15Guest:So he's always been really nice to me.

00:59:16Guest:You know, Seinfeld, if you don't, he doesn't know you.

00:59:18Marc:Yeah.

00:59:19Guest:He'd be like.

00:59:19Marc:You don't ever talk to me.

00:59:20Guest:Well, that's you.

00:59:22Guest:All right, whatever.

00:59:22Marc:You, you.

00:59:23Marc:I try not to laugh at my own jokes unless I'm waiting too long.

00:59:26Guest:You rarely laugh at your jokes.

00:59:27Guest:If you laugh, you know you're like, oh, shit.

00:59:30Marc:I got to make it work.

00:59:33Marc:If I'm laughing at my joke, it's a Hail Mary pass.

00:59:37Marc:I'll give it a few seconds.

00:59:40Guest:And so I've learned to stop.

00:59:42Guest:But I laugh at some jokes.

00:59:43Guest:Sometimes I laugh a little bit.

00:59:44Guest:I go, yeah, it's funny.

00:59:45Guest:I like it.

00:59:46Guest:I'm laughing too.

00:59:46Guest:Sometimes it's a habit though.

00:59:48Marc:Like I've gone through periods in my life where you get in the habit of it.

00:59:52Marc:Like when I used to smoke a lot of weed.

00:59:54Marc:You don't smoke anymore?

00:59:55Marc:No, I don't do anything.

00:59:56Marc:But like you're always half laughing at everything.

00:59:58Marc:And then the audience is like, I don't know why he's laughing, but I think I'm laughing too now.

01:00:02Guest:It's a trick.

01:00:03Guest:It is a trick.

01:00:04Guest:I'm starting to smoke weed.

01:00:05Marc:Oh, yeah?

01:00:06Guest:Yeah.

01:00:07Guest:I just started about six, seven months ago.

01:00:09Marc:You did nothing, right?

01:00:09Guest:I did nothing.

01:00:10Guest:Everybody's, it couldn't, people ran away from me.

01:00:13Guest:Well, I figured since I had this underlying anger, like, you know.

01:00:18Guest:About what?

01:00:18Guest:The black thing?

01:00:19Guest:About all kind of shit because of conspiratorial shit.

01:00:22Guest:The reason why they didn't pick me because I'm articulate and smart.

01:00:24Guest:I'm not buffooning and all this other shit.

01:00:26Guest:I just anger about different things in life.

01:00:29Guest:Yeah.

01:00:29Guest:You know, maybe it's subconscious shit that my parents are gone.

01:00:32Guest:It could be that.

01:00:32Guest:It could be a lot of shit.

01:00:33Marc:You haven't worked that shit through?

01:00:34Guest:How long you haven't?

01:00:35Marc:I think I have.

01:00:35Guest:How long I've had what?

01:00:37Guest:The anger.

01:00:38Guest:It's been a while.

01:00:39Guest:My girlfriend says that.

01:00:40Guest:She goes, you're really like an angry dude.

01:00:42Guest:It actually fuels my comedy, though.

01:00:45Guest:It actually does.

01:00:45Guest:It does.

01:00:47Guest:Do you ever fight people?

01:00:48Guest:No.

01:00:49Guest:No, not really.

01:00:50Guest:I'm not really one of those.

01:00:51Guest:Because I'm angry.

01:00:52Guest:I get angry.

01:00:52Guest:I'm not a brawler or anything.

01:00:54Guest:I can talk shit, but I'm not.

01:00:56Guest:I always want to slack the shit out of people.

01:00:58Guest:I always want to, in my head, smack the shit out of people.

01:01:00Guest:I always have pictures in my head of smacking the shit out of somebody.

01:01:04Marc:I used to.

01:01:05Marc:I don't have that much anymore.

01:01:06Guest:That's good.

01:01:07Guest:Good for you.

01:01:08Marc:Good for you.

01:01:09Guest:I think that I just had this theory that if I start smoking weed now, that maybe this stuff will start mellowing me out.

01:01:18Guest:Maybe.

01:01:18Guest:I said, let me try it.

01:01:20Guest:and i think it might be working i i i'm treating my girlfriend better like i'm not getting mad and when she gets mad at stuff i don't it's my reaction to her shit yeah and knowing that i did it i'm like a little bit better i think i think but i i'm beginning i'm not that good at smoking weed i got edibles i fucked up i got these edibles right i bought like lollipops chocolate bottle shit and i got a lollipop i tried let me try the lollipop first yeah

01:01:45Guest:So I'm sitting, you know, this new channel by Robert Rodriguez, El Rey.

01:01:49Marc:No, it's good.

01:01:50Guest:Oh, fucking awesome.

01:01:51Guest:It's like they have, it's Grindhouse.

01:01:52Marc:Yeah.

01:01:53Guest:Kung Fu movies, um, seventies movies, uh, Italian Western spaghetti.

01:01:58Guest:It's on TV.

01:01:59Guest:It's called El Rey.

01:02:00Guest:It's fun.

01:02:00Guest:It's awesome.

01:02:01Guest:Richard, it's Robert Rodriguez.

01:02:02Marc:Yeah, I know.

01:02:03Guest:And he interviews different directors.

01:02:04Guest:Yeah.

01:02:05Guest:Coppola.

01:02:06Guest:It's awesome.

01:02:07Guest:So, um, and it's for Spanish, uh, English speaking people.

01:02:10Marc:Yeah.

01:02:11Guest:It's, they show Spanish wrestling.

01:02:13Marc:Right.

01:02:14Marc:So it's all in Spanish.

01:02:15Guest:No, it's English, but it's for English speaking Spanish people.

01:02:17Guest:My fault.

01:02:18Guest:So I was watching all Kung Fu movies, three hours of it.

01:02:22Guest:And I had this lollipop.

01:02:23Guest:I said, let me try this lollipop.

01:02:25Guest:Started licking that shit.

01:02:26Guest:And the dude that sold it to me said, yo, fucking be careful, dude.

01:02:30Guest:This is not a regular lollipop.

01:02:31Guest:I was like, whatever, dude.

01:02:34Guest:Lick the fuck out of it.

01:02:36Guest:Yeah.

01:02:36Guest:And so 40 minutes later, I'm like, shit ain't shit.

01:02:39Guest:Let me lick this a couple more times.

01:02:41Guest:Yeah.

01:02:43Guest:Holy shit.

01:02:45Guest:Two and a half hours later.

01:02:46Guest:Yeah.

01:02:47Guest:I fucking started moving in slow motion, but I was in regular motion.

01:02:50Guest:Yeah.

01:02:51Guest:And the Kung Fu movie was unreal.

01:02:54Guest:I know.

01:02:54Guest:I'm being serious.

01:02:56Guest:And I, you know, when people talk about getting high and I always used to, me as the healthy dude used to be like, that's exaggeration.

01:03:02Guest:Right.

01:03:02Guest:I was fucking paranoid.

01:03:04Guest:I didn't know what was going on with my fucking legs and my arms were moving slow.

01:03:08Guest:And I fucking balled up on the bed like, yo, I'm not leaving the fucking house.

01:03:12Guest:You're in trouble, man.

01:03:14Guest:And I texted the dude and I'm like, yo, you're right about the lollipops.

01:03:19Guest:And the guy goes, I told you, enjoy.

01:03:24Guest:That's what his text said?

01:03:25Guest:No, it felt like, I told you, enjoy.

01:03:30Guest:Everything was like, bro.

01:03:33Guest:Yeah.

01:03:33Guest:You know what I'm talking about?

01:03:35Guest:Yeah, you're really high.

01:03:36Guest:It was so strong.

01:03:36Guest:It lasted for like three hours.

01:03:38Guest:I was so scared.

01:03:39Guest:You didn't enjoy it at all?

01:03:41Guest:Nah.

01:03:41Marc:It was a little bit of a nausea.

01:03:43Marc:Yeah.

01:03:44Marc:I'm starting to do weed, though.

01:03:46Marc:That was not a horrible drug experience.

01:03:48Marc:But it was rough.

01:03:50Marc:It was rough.

01:03:51Marc:Because I'm not an expert.

01:03:53Guest:And also, you used to have control of your faculties.

01:03:56Guest:Always.

01:03:56Guest:I was like, what the fuck?

01:03:58Guest:And I was looking around.

01:04:00Guest:And then I went to the mirror to see if I was in slow motion.

01:04:03Guest:And I felt like I was in my own body in slow motion.

01:04:07Guest:But I was moving normally.

01:04:09Guest:But I was like, ooh.

01:04:10Guest:man what the fuck yo yeah so now you're in though so now you're getting high like every day i try i try but what's great is like people always want to give me free shit because i'm not a drug dude right but they go hell yeah i'm smoking weed with godfrey and that's cool yeah because i have at least a little bit of a name i'm tiny i'm mid-level no me too mid-level

01:04:31Guest:I think you're kind of famous now.

01:04:33Guest:High mid-level.

01:04:34Guest:I'm top of the mid-level.

01:04:36Guest:I think you're famous where you want to be famous.

01:04:38Guest:This is where you want to be.

01:04:39Guest:Theaters.

01:04:41Guest:You're not trying to do arenas.

01:04:42Guest:You're not an arena guy.

01:04:43Marc:No, could never do an arena.

01:04:44Guest:It's a lot of pressure.

01:04:46Guest:Okay, we were talking about that.

01:04:47Guest:Me and Keith, we're talking about would you be happy to do arenas?

01:04:52Guest:And I told him, yo...

01:04:54Guest:I wouldn't mind doing arena for the money-wise, but if I had a choice, I'd rather do a theater.

01:05:00Guest:Yeah.

01:05:01Marc:Just more intimacy.

01:05:02Marc:This is really the first time I'm going out for the small theater run.

01:05:05Marc:Really?

01:05:06Marc:Mm-hmm.

01:05:06Marc:I've done some.

01:05:07Marc:There are some cities I can do it in, like 800 to 1,000 seaters.

01:05:11Okay.

01:05:11Marc:like the type of comedy like to make a theater like your size you gotta make it your size or you try to get as big as the theater and then it's like it might get a little weird because I know I do you know but like I like good like certain comedy clubs I don't like all of them some of them are not great right

01:05:29Marc:But we'll see.

01:05:30Marc:I'm going to go out and see how it feels.

01:05:32Marc:And then after this tour, maybe I'll just- You're going to do a special?

01:05:34Marc:What are you going to do a special?

01:05:34Guest:Yeah, I'll do a special.

01:05:35Guest:When the fuck are you going to do a special?

01:05:36Marc:Another special?

01:05:37Marc:Have you done one yet, a special?

01:05:38Guest:I did Black by Accident Comedy Central.

01:05:42Guest:I did it at the Gramercy Theater.

01:05:44Guest:It was great.

01:05:45Guest:Oh, yeah.

01:05:45Guest:It went pretty good.

01:05:46Guest:Black by Accident.

01:05:47Guest:You guys can go on iTunes with that one.

01:05:49Guest:I did it like three years ago, Black by Accident.

01:05:52Guest:Thank God there was that storm.

01:05:53Guest:Remember that storm that hit?

01:05:54Guest:Was it Sandy?

01:05:55Guest:Whatever, that hit New York.

01:05:56Guest:Good, because everybody had to stay in.

01:05:58Marc:I don't know if you should say that.

01:06:00Marc:Well, shut up.

01:06:02Marc:Sad for the people that lost.

01:06:03Guest:Shut up.

01:06:05Guest:People had to kind of stay in.

01:06:07Marc:I'm sorry that it was difficult and you lost your house and stuff, but Godfrey's happy you got to watch his thing.

01:06:12Guest:You know what?

01:06:14Guest:You're throwing me under the fucking bus.

01:06:16Guest:You threw yourself under the bus.

01:06:17Marc:I'm trying to throw you a line.

01:06:18Marc:I'm trying to help you.

01:06:19Guest:We don't even have to put it in.

01:06:21Guest:Yeah, you're right.

01:06:21Guest:I left the door open for you.

01:06:23Guest:So you feel good?

01:06:23Guest:Are we good?

01:06:24Guest:I feel awesome, dude.

01:06:25Guest:I feel awesome.

01:06:26Guest:I'm working.

01:06:27Guest:Where are you living?

01:06:28Guest:Oh, man, the old Oakwood Apartments.

01:06:30Guest:They put me up at the Oakwood Apartments.

01:06:31Guest:Oh, really?

01:06:32Guest:Yeah.

01:06:32Guest:It's classic.

01:06:33Guest:It's classic Oakwood.

01:06:34Guest:I used to drive past her going, fuck in the Oakwoods.

01:06:37Marc:Everyone who's like anyone who's anyone who didn't want to move here but got a gig here has lived in the Oakwood Apartments.

01:06:42Guest:That's a forensic file story right there.

01:06:44Guest:Dude, you could literally murder a motherfucker.

01:06:47Guest:I'm surprised they haven't done a horror show.

01:06:49Guest:Furnished Apartments.

01:06:50Guest:They're furnished.

01:06:51Guest:It's good.

01:06:51Guest:It's great.

01:06:52Guest:You don't have to worry.

01:06:53Marc:But that's known for where they put people up to is doing long-term gigs.

01:06:56Guest:Everybody and their mamas over there.

01:06:57Guest:Yeah.

01:06:57Guest:You just don't really see them, but you see them, but you don't.

01:07:00Guest:Oh, yeah?

01:07:00Guest:Yeah, because, you know, they're trying to be cool.

01:07:03Guest:It's woodsy.

01:07:03Guest:Oh, is it?

01:07:04Guest:Yeah, it's woodsy.

01:07:05Guest:And the show puts you up there?

01:07:07Guest:Yeah, man.

01:07:08Guest:I thought that was cool.

01:07:08Marc:I'm glad you're working.

01:07:10Marc:Are you really happy?

01:07:11Guest:Yes.

01:07:11Marc:I'm glad I'm working, man.

01:07:13Marc:It's not cool to come to LA and not be working.

01:07:16Marc:The reason why we have a good time is because we like each other.

01:07:19Yeah.

01:07:20You look...

01:07:21Marc:You struggle to say that one.

01:07:23Marc:No.

01:07:24Marc:We could not do what we do.

01:07:27Marc:We could not do what we do if we didn't like each other.

01:07:30Marc:No, you're right.

01:07:31Guest:You're right.

01:07:32Guest:I always liked you.

01:07:33Guest:You have?

01:07:33Guest:Yes.

01:07:34Guest:You know, sometimes people will think, Mark Maron doesn't like me.

01:07:37Guest:Yeah.

01:07:38Guest:People think that.

01:07:38Guest:I go, no, that's just his face.

01:07:40Guest:Yeah.

01:07:40Marc:Yeah.

01:07:41Marc:It's just him not liking him.

01:07:43Guest:Right.

01:07:43Guest:That's his face not liking him that is reflecting out to you.

01:07:46Guest:That's right.

01:07:46Guest:That's exactly.

01:07:47Guest:But he's actually looking at himself.

01:07:48Guest:Exactly.

01:07:49Guest:He's sort of like a Salvador Dali of his own face.

01:07:52Guest:Exactly.

01:07:52Guest:You know what I mean?

01:07:53Marc:That's right.

01:07:54Marc:He doesn't like you.

01:07:55Marc:He doesn't like him.

01:07:56Guest:You know, I said to Salvador Dali of his own face, you got it because I'm in your fucking world.

01:08:00Marc:Yeah, I think I got it.

01:08:02Marc:I liked it.

01:08:02Marc:I liked the combination.

01:08:03Guest:But did you understand it?

01:08:05Guest:Because that one fucking painting of him painting himself and looking at you.

01:08:08Marc:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:08:08Marc:Looking with the white eyes.

01:08:10Guest:Oh.

01:08:10Guest:Yeah, yeah.

01:08:11Guest:I was in the museum in Tampa.

01:08:12Guest:Uh-huh.

01:08:12Guest:He has his own museum.

01:08:13Guest:It's sick as fuck, too.

01:08:14Guest:It's so nice.

01:08:14Guest:Oh, is that where the Dolly Museum is?

01:08:15Marc:Oh, it's beautiful.

01:08:16Marc:Beautiful.

01:08:17Marc:The canvases are a lot smaller than people think.

01:08:20Marc:Right.

01:08:20Guest:They're a lot smaller.

01:08:21Guest:There's some are big as shit, though.

01:08:22Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:08:23Guest:And you're like, wow, he painted himself about to paint something looking back at you.

01:08:28Guest:Wow, is that talent.

01:08:29Guest:You like the art.

01:08:30Guest:You go to the museums.

01:08:31Guest:Yeah, yeah.

01:08:32Guest:I'm an art.

01:08:33Guest:My girl's an art.

01:08:34Guest:We love the art shit.

01:08:35Guest:She's very medieval, too.

01:08:36Guest:She's really an expert in medieval history.

01:08:39Guest:Really?

01:08:40Guest:She knows her.

01:08:40Guest:Oh, she's sick with it, man.

01:08:42Guest:Sick with it.

01:08:42Guest:Anthropology and medieval.

01:08:44Guest:What does she do?

01:08:45Guest:She's private equity, finance, Rutgers University, top of her class, business.

01:08:50Guest:Sick as fuck.

01:08:51Guest:Got it.

01:08:52Guest:She was a trader.

01:08:53Guest:She was at Barclay.

01:08:54Guest:She's dope.

01:08:55Marc:You should hold on to her.

01:08:56Guest:Fuck, I am.

01:08:57Guest:Because you're having a dream with this show business.

01:08:59Guest:I know, I'm always fucking up.

01:09:01Guest:I'm always acting an ass.

01:09:02Guest:And so she's like, yo, you stupid ass.

01:09:06Guest:You know, she's like, you know what I mean?

01:09:08Guest:You know, I fucked up many times and she's forgiven me a lot of times.

01:09:11Guest:You gonna have some babies or what?

01:09:12Guest:No, she doesn't give a fuck about that either.

01:09:15Guest:She thinks they're gonna come out funny too.

01:09:17Guest:She's like, that shit's gonna come out funny as shit.

01:09:19Guest:I go, all right, let's not do anything.

01:09:20Guest:I don't know.

01:09:21Guest:She goes, we're two totally different looking people and it might come out weird.

01:09:24Marc:Huh.

01:09:26Guest:I thought that was hilarious.

01:09:27Guest:Yeah.

01:09:28Guest:It might, because it could happen.

01:09:30Guest:Where's she from?

01:09:32Guest:Jersey.

01:09:34Guest:Maybe she doesn't want none of that Jersey in the baby.

01:09:37Guest:Good to see you.

01:09:38Guest:Thanks for... I would love to come back someday.

01:09:41Guest:Jesus Christ, we just did one.

01:09:43Guest:I'm just trying to get my dibs in, dude.

01:09:45Guest:That's all.

01:09:45Marc:Do you count for two black men?

01:09:47Guest:Yes.

01:09:48Guest:Yes.

01:09:49Guest:I can even talk like this.

01:09:50Guest:Hey, Mark, I want to tell you, man, I'm real appreciate you bringing me here, man.

01:09:53Guest:Hold it.

01:09:53Guest:Save it.

01:09:54Marc:Save it for next time.

01:09:55Guest:Okay, I'll just come as a different dude.

01:09:56Guest:Thanks, buddy.

01:10:02Marc:Funny, right?

01:10:03Marc:Fun guy.

01:10:03Marc:A little edgy.

01:10:04Marc:A little edgy with me.

01:10:06Marc:A little edgy with each other.

01:10:07Marc:It's been that way for 20 years.

01:10:09Marc:Love that guy.

01:10:10Marc:Godfrey.

01:10:11Marc:That's it.

01:10:12Marc:Go to WTFPod.com for all your WTFPod needs.

01:10:14Marc:Port Chester, Huntington, New York.

01:10:16Marc:Red Bank, New Jersey.

01:10:17Marc:I'm coming towards the end of the month.

01:10:18Marc:Go to WTFPod.com slash calendar.

01:10:21Marc:Get tickets, will you?

01:10:23Marc:Thursday, Judd Apatow is on the show for a second time.

01:10:26Marc:That's a rare thing.

01:10:27Marc:I never do that.

01:10:28Marc:But we wanted to talk.

01:10:29Marc:We were going to do a short one.

01:10:30Marc:Then we got to talking.

01:10:31Marc:We had a nice conversation.

01:10:33Marc:Then also on Thursday, tremendously big announcement for everybody involved.

01:10:39Marc:Big announcement for everyone involved.

01:10:42Marc:Me, you, people in other countries.

01:10:46Marc:Around the world.

01:10:47Marc:I'm going to make an announcement on Thursday that's going to have reverberations around the world.

01:10:55Marc:I'll leave it at that.

01:10:57Marc:No music tonight.

01:10:58Marc:No guitar playing anyways.

01:10:59Marc:Why not just listen to the sound of the waves?

01:11:05Marc:Right?

01:11:05Marc:Pretty good, right?

01:11:10Marc:Fucking waves.

01:11:12Marc:Fucking relaxing, isn't it?

01:11:13Marc:Just listen to them.

01:11:15Marc:Oh, fuck yeah.

01:11:18Marc:Relaxing.

01:11:22Marc:Boomer lives.