Episode 609 - Constance Zimmer
Guest:Lock the gates!
Marc:All right, let's do this.
Marc:How are you?
Marc:What the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fucking ears?
Marc:What the fucksters?
Marc:What the fuckaholics?
Marc:I am Mark Maron.
Marc:This is WTF.
Marc:Obviously, I'm not at home in the garage.
Marc:Where am I?
Marc:I'm in a hotel room in Chicago at the James Hotel the day after I did my special taping last night in Chicago at the Vic Theater.
Marc:God damn it.
Marc:I fucking love Chicago.
Marc:I love it.
Marc:I mean, I've been here before and I chose to shoot my special here, but Chicago is a great city and the special taping went amazing.
Marc:I'll tell you about it because it was I'll walk you through in a minute.
Marc:Today on the show, I talked to Constance Zimmer.
Marc:The actress who was on an episode of Maren, if you watched the premiere episode, actually, of Maren.
Marc:She played my age-appropriate girlfriend briefly with a child.
Marc:One episode, and that relationship ended.
Marc:But you may know Constance Zimmer from many things.
Marc:House of Cards.
Marc:She's Janine Skorsky in House of Cards.
Marc:She was in the newsroom.
Marc:Grey's Anatomy.
Marc:She's been in a lot.
Marc:You would know her.
Marc:You would know her.
Marc:So I talked to Constance Zimmer in a few minutes.
Marc:That's happening.
Marc:Let's go over my shit.
Marc:Can we do that?
Marc:I need you people in Portchester, New York, in Huntington, New York, in Red Bank, New Jersey, to know that I'm performing there.
Marc:I know it's going to take some effort.
Marc:I know a lot of you don't listen to this show today, but I'm reaching out to you because I got shows, and I want you to see me if you want to see me.
Marc:June 25th at the Capitol Theater in Portchester, New York.
Marc:June 26th at the Bam Howard Opera House in Brooklyn, New York, which is selling well, and I'm excited about that.
Marc:It's going to be a big-ass show.
Marc:Saturday, June 27th at the Paramount Theater in Huntington, New York, out on the island.
Marc:And Saturday, June 28th at the Count Basie Theater in my birth state of Red Bank, New Jersey.
Marc:Go to WTFPod.com slash calendar to check tickets, to get tickets, to get the links to tickets.
Marc:And let's do it.
Marc:Let's have some shows.
Marc:I'd like you to come.
Marc:I'll figure out other ways to reach out to you, too, because I am my own promotional machine.
Marc:aside from being a shame machine that seems to be fueled solely by deep dish pizza at this juncture in this hotel room.
Marc:So Friday, flew to Cleveland to do that show.
Marc:I've been to Cleveland a few times, and I know Cleveland.
Marc:I know there's a couple of great places to eat in Cleveland.
Marc:I like doing shows in Cleveland.
Marc:I'm at the Playhouse Theater in Cleveland, which is a complex of several theaters, and the theater beside mine, the night that I was doing my show, had Dennis Miller and Bill O'Reilly doing their comedy duo tour show.
Marc:amplifying fears and stirring up shit for the angry people.
Marc:who think it's all the liberals' fault.
Marc:That's a good night of entertaining.
Marc:Let's just get you all worked up about how the country's going to pot because of those lefties.
Marc:So there wasn't a lot of fear of the crossover audience.
Marc:I don't think I lost any audience to that show.
Marc:But it was interesting since I don't really talk about politics at all anymore.
Marc:And also, it's interesting because the conversations you can have with people, you know,
Marc:When you don't bring that into it, me and Chris Garcia, who has been opening these dates with me, these few dates, were out in front of the hotel.
Marc:I was smoking a cigar.
Marc:He was having a cigarette and there was some dude, some older dude who was just sitting there smoking a cigarette.
Marc:And we got to talking to him and he had just gone to see O'Reilly and Miller.
Marc:And he was just talking about you live down in North Carolina.
Marc:And I didn't bring politics into the conversation at all.
Marc:I knew where he stood.
Marc:Certainly, I didn't feel any reason to to sort of engage in that.
Marc:And because I didn't, we had this interesting conversation about the time he spent in Vietnam, this time he spent in the Marines.
Marc:I mean, this is in 10 minutes, just having this this kind of, you know, fairly deep life talk.
Marc:With this guy who I think at a different time, if I had engaged immediately in politics, it would have become contentious and gone nowhere.
Marc:And it wouldn't have been a moving conversation.
Marc:Sometimes politics just fucks up the conversation.
Marc:So the show in Cleveland went great.
Marc:Very grateful for the show in Cleveland.
Marc:It was an amazing warm up and a great show.
Marc:And then I flew to Chicago on Saturday morning.
Marc:And Chris and I got here about two, had some lunch, and then just sort of locked in.
Marc:I went and did the sound checks.
Marc:The set looks great for the special.
Marc:And Bobcat had this idea.
Marc:He brought up Joe Swanberg, who lives in Chicago.
Marc:So I'm going to have maybe him.
Marc:We should tell him that you're performing.
Marc:He come watch the show.
Marc:I'm like, maybe he could shoot some stuff.
Marc:And Swanberg, who you guys know from this show, was like into it.
Marc:So because we didn't know what we were going to do to bookend the special.
Marc:So Swanberg comes down and we set him up with a camera.
Marc:So he's following me around before and after the show in the dressing room, in the theater, eating pizza right before a special taping, which was unnecessary.
Marc:Someone brought Giordano's.
Marc:Is that how you pronounce it?
Marc:They brought that pizza in an hour before I was supposed to go on.
Marc:And I have no willpower.
Marc:So I'm shoveling deep dish.
Marc:into my face an hour before I'm going on because in my mind, I think that like, I don't want to admit this, but I knew that I shouldn't eat that pizza before I go on for the first, you know, we did two shows for the taping, but I did.
Marc:And I think it was to protect myself.
Marc:Like if it didn't go as well as I thought it should go, I could always blame the pizza.
Marc:No, it's not not on me.
Marc:It's on the pizza.
Marc:Yeah, but you made the choice to eat it.
Marc:Hey, don't talk to me like that.
Marc:Who's having the conversation?
Marc:We are me and me.
Marc:So the tapings were great.
Marc:Chicago was a great choice and the audiences were spectacular.
Marc:I really think that we got the special in the first show.
Marc:I'm doing the special for epics, by the way.
Marc:So, of course, Bobcat was like, I think you nailed it, man.
Marc:So, you know, just have fun the second show.
Marc:So the second show was like an hour and 35 minute loopy fest where people in the audience just felt it OK to begin conversations with me.
Marc:It was sort of like up and down and in and out.
Marc:And it was I was riffing a lot doing stuff I'd never done before.
Marc:And then, of course, I get off.
Marc:You know, there was a point where in the middle of that taping, Bobcat on the voice of God, Mike says, move the mic stand for continuity.
Marc:Like there was going to be any continuity between these two shows.
Marc:No fucking way.
Marc:It was crazy.
Marc:A little crazy.
Marc:Then after that show, Bobcat's like, I think that's the special.
Marc:I'm like, what are you talking about?
Marc:The first one was tight and nailed everything.
Marc:That one was all over the place.
Marc:He's like, yeah, I've never seen anything like that.
Marc:And I'm like, oh, come on.
Marc:Come on.
Marc:But again, gracias to the great city of Chicago.
Marc:I really do like it here, but I think if I lived here, I'd die very quickly because of the pizza problem because I'm strung out, man.
Marc:I'm strung out.
Marc:All right, so now we're going to talk to Constance Zimmer, lovely, talented, engaging, and
Marc:And I wanted to sort of move you towards her things.
Marc:She's on a new Lifetime series called Unreal, which airs Monday nights at 10 Eastern.
Marc:She's also in the movies Entourage and Results, which are both out now.
Marc:We talked about Results with Kevin Corrigan.
Marc:All right, so let's talk to Constance Zimmer.
Marc:Aren't you a voiceover artist?
Guest:I'm trying to be one.
Marc:Are you?
Marc:Yes.
Guest:I'm a transformer.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:Which one?
Guest:The female.
Guest:Strong arm.
Marc:Yeah?
Marc:Strong arm.
Marc:How many of those have you done?
Guest:We've almost done two seasons.
Guest:So that's like, I don't know how many that is.
Guest:Who makes those?
Guest:Is that a good paycheck?
Guest:Not really.
Guest:Right?
Guest:No, because I'm nobody in the voiceover world.
Guest:So they're like, we're going to give you a dime.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Marc:I just did my angry raccoon voice this morning for a new Nickelodeon show.
Marc:You want me to do it for you?
Guest:Yeah, I want to hear it.
Guest:What are you doing?
Guest:That's fantastic.
Guest:You know what's funny?
Marc:It's amazing I can slip right into it.
Marc:You can.
Marc:It's a challenging voice.
Marc:What?
Guest:Get out of here.
What?
Guest:It's weird, though, that they would choose for you to be an angry cartoon.
Marc:I don't understand that at all.
Marc:I don't understand why I get typecast like that because I'm so sweet and sensitive.
Guest:You are.
Marc:And everybody just has me do angry.
Guest:Angry, angry.
Marc:So everything's coming out at once, so you're not busy at all.
Marc:You're just sitting there watching things happen, wondering.
Marc:Everyone thinking you're so busy, but you're like, I have nothing happening.
Guest:No, it looks like I'm super busy because, you know... It's all done.
Guest:The most important was your episode of my show.
Guest:Well, of course.
Guest:I mean, that's kind of what started it all.
Marc:Yeah, that was the kickoff.
Guest:That was the kickoff.
Guest:Because, by the way, I was at a party last night.
Marc:Come on.
Marc:Is this a good story?
Guest:It's kind of a good story.
Guest:I was at a party last night for the premiere of the TV show that I'm starring in.
Guest:And a guy came up to me and he said, Hey, you're the girl from the marriage show.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I was like, yeah, that's right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:See?
Guest:So now that's what I'm going to be recognized for.
Marc:This was a party for the real thing?
Marc:For Unreal on Lifetime.
Marc:Unreal.
Marc:Unreal.
Marc:I do no research, so you're just going to have to explain everything to me.
Guest:You will be addicted to this show.
Marc:Really?
Marc:You will be.
Marc:Pitch it to me.
Guest:So it's behind the scenes of the making of a dating reality series.
Oh.
Marc:Like The Bachelor or something?
Guest:Yeah, like that or Beauty and the Geek or Who Wants to Marry Harry or anything that is a situation of normal people having cameras follow them around while they find truth out.
Marc:But this is behind the scenes.
Guest:This is behind the scenes.
Marc:Which is what makes it a comedy, I'm assuming.
Guest:Correct.
Guest:Well, very dark, very dark, dark comedy.
Guest:People die?
Guest:You have to watch the show.
Guest:I'm not going to reveal anything here, even though I should.
Marc:What is your character?
Guest:I played the executive producer, director of the reality show.
Marc:So you're like a monster.
Guest:I am a monster.
Yeah.
Guest:I mean, come on.
Guest:I'm very much typecast because that's what I am in real life.
Marc:No, you're just kind of a monster.
Guest:Kind of.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I don't think you are.
Guest:Thank God.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:I'm not a monster.
Marc:You seem very practical and sweet.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:But like at any moment, something horrible could happen.
Yeah.
Guest:Except I would be the reverse.
Guest:I would just start crying instead of yelling.
Marc:I know.
Marc:We talked about that once before.
Marc:I can't believe you're not a yeller with all your intensity.
Marc:Why are you a crier?
Marc:You should be a yeller.
Marc:You're powerful.
Guest:No, because I yell like every character I play yells.
Marc:Why do you think that is?
Marc:I have no idea.
Marc:So you work it out on camera?
Marc:Is that what you're saying?
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:I work it out when then it doesn't come back and bite me in the ass.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Guest:There, I get paid to yell.
Guest:And in my house, I don't yell.
Marc:You just cry.
Marc:I cry instead.
Marc:And just clam up.
Marc:Passive aggressive.
Guest:No.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:We talked about that too when we were working.
Guest:I'm probably a little passive aggressive.
Guest:My husband would definitely say that.
Marc:Your husband's a director, right?
Marc:Yes.
Guest:Director, writer, photographer, producer, whatever.
Guest:Let's just give him all these hats just because we can.
Guest:What are his big hits?
Guest:Big hits.
Guest:Have you seen the Listerine commercial?
Marc:Yeah, great.
Marc:Which one?
Marc:The one where they swish it around with their face?
Marc:That's right.
Marc:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:And then they make a face?
Guest:Yeah, he right now has mostly been doing commercials, but he's done a couple of short films, but he is right now attached to direct a couple of films, and he has a pilot in the works.
Guest:So, you know, he's very busy.
Marc:Finally, right?
Guest:Finally, my God, get him off my couch.
Marc:So, yeah, right?
Marc:And I can say something other than commercials.
Yeah.
Marc:Finally, he's doing something.
Marc:Did you see the Listerine commercial?
Marc:I've seen all of them.
Marc:I've seen all of them.
Guest:Well, that's what sucks, by the way.
Guest:Let's talk about that and this fact that who watches commercials anymore anyway?
Marc:I ended up watching a couple last night because apparently when you DVR the Madman finale, you can't fast forward through them.
Guest:See, and that's what they're trying to do now.
Marc:But I got a couple laughs, honestly.
Marc:You did?
Marc:Yeah, the Heinz commercial with the people in the mustard outfit.
Marc:Did you see those?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:It's kind of funny.
Marc:See?
Marc:You didn't get a laugh?
Guest:I did.
Guest:I got a laugh right now.
Guest:You reenacting it.
Marc:I know now that Heinz makes a yellow mustard, and I'm not a yellow mustard fan, but maybe it worked on me.
Guest:So you didn't know that Heinz made something else besides ketchup?
Marc:No, I figured they made other things like Heinz 57 sauce, but I think what they're trying to do is push French's out to make people aware that this yellow mustard business can be a Heinz companion to their ketchup.
Guest:They look well together.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:They're the same bright yellow with the bright red.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:But Listerine, I use Listerine.
Marc:I don't know if your husband had anything to do with that.
Marc:No.
Marc:But wait, so this Unreal.
Marc:So what happens?
Marc:What happens?
Marc:There's sex and sordid business.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Guest:There's so much sex.
Marc:You?
Guest:Are you having sex in there?
Guest:People are like blowjobs, sex.
Marc:Oh, good.
Guest:Drugs.
Marc:Yeah?
Guest:There's drugs.
Marc:Like which kind?
Guest:There's cat fights.
Marc:Girls slapping each other.
Marc:This sounds like something everyone's going to watch.
Marc:America's going to watch it.
Marc:They're going to watch it.
Guest:There's girls in bikinis.
Marc:Is that easy to find, Lifetime?
Guest:I would hope so.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I'm on IFC.
Marc:No one seems to know where it is.
Marc:I can't even tell my parents where it is.
Guest:But nobody even watches shows anymore based on where they are.
Guest:That's what I hear.
Guest:Everyone's like, just tell me what time.
Guest:I'll put it on my DVR.
Guest:I'll record it.
Guest:And then I'll watch it when I want to watch it.
Marc:I don't do that.
Guest:Yeah, I don't.
Guest:I like to watch things when they're on.
Marc:Me too.
Marc:Or on demand.
Marc:I don't DVR things.
Marc:No.
Marc:If the station doesn't have an on-demand situation, I'm in trouble.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Well, Lifetime has an on-demand station.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Then I'm watching it.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:And you're in the Anourage movie?
Marc:The Anourage movie, yes.
Marc:Because you were on the TV show.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Exactly.
Marc:I just talked to someone else who's in that movie.
Guest:Who'd you talk to?
Marc:He was just here yesterday.
Marc:Haley Joel.
Guest:Oh, Haley Joel Osment.
Marc:Haley Joel Osment.
Guest:He is so fantastic in the movie.
Marc:He is?
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:He plays this horrible, rich, spoiled brat.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Billy Bob Thornton's son he plays in the movie.
Guest:And luckily, most of my scenes were with him and with Billy Bob.
Guest:Who's fantastic in the film as well.
Guest:And, of course, with Jeremy.
Guest:All my stuff is always with Jeremy.
Marc:Was that the first time you worked with Billy Bob?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Was that an experience?
Guest:He is fascinating.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, in between takes, everybody would just crowd around him and just want to hear stories.
Marc:And he's got a pretty slow delivery, right?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, everything is like this dramatic pause.
Guest:And he had just finished working on Fargo.
Guest:So he was telling us all these stories about working on Fargo.
Guest:But that's the thing about Entourage is it brings together such a bizarre collection of actors, directors, producers, and then you're all in the same room together.
Guest:And it is what they show on the show is all of a sudden becoming that behind the scenes where when would I ever be in a situation where I just would be hanging out with Billy Bob Thornton?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And Haley Joel Osment and all in the same day and in the same scene.
Marc:I think you could probably more easily hang out with Haley Joel Osment whenever you wanted, probably.
Guest:I mean, look, he sees dead people, okay?
Guest:So, I mean, let's just talk about that.
Marc:I bet he's not a nicer guy, but probably a little more accessible.
Marc:I have a feeling that Billy Bob, you know, you'd be like, you want to hang out?
Marc:And then, like, you'd probably second guess it.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:no i actually i gotta call him i want to do the show i got the idea that he's pretty he's pretty approachable yeah oh yeah he was super excited to be on in the movie very intense he frightens me a little bit i think he seems less intense than he was to all of us like years ago okay when he was like drinking blood and stuff like that but um all right so that movie like that's a full cock press a lot of men
Guest:Cock press, but into women.
Guest:I mean, there's a lot of bikinis.
Guest:Talk about bikinis and hot girls and nudity and sex.
Marc:Let me ask you a question.
Marc:I read this article about Maggie Gyllenhaal talking about the ladies, the women in Hollywood and how they get short shrift as they get older.
Marc:Not even going to talk about it.
Guest:You know, I'm going to say that I think that was true like five years ago.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I think it's changing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, you know, Meryl Streep, she's funding like an organization to find women who will write characters, write female characters over the age of 40.
Guest:So she's put all this money into this organization.
Marc:Within the context of scripts or just anything.
Marc:Uh huh.
Guest:Females over 40 in television or movies.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Mostly, I think- TV and movies.
Guest:TV and movies to try and get people to write more for those women.
Guest:Because I will tell you, since I turned 40, I've gotten the best parts I've ever had.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I didn't think that was going to happen.
Guest:And my husband, the Listerine guy, he, uh, film director, um, you know, he had said to me because I thought my thought the same thing.
Guest:I thought my career was over when I was 35 and I thought, Oh my God, this is it.
Guest:People are tired of me.
Guest:They've seen me for far too long and now I'm old and everyone wants the younger Constance Zimmer, whatever that fucking means.
Guest:Is there one answer?
Guest:I hope not, because she's going to take all my jobs.
Guest:And, you know, my parts have only gotten better since I turned for you.
Marc:Like, which ones?
Marc:Because, what are you being cast as specifically?
Marc:Because you're sexy, you've got brains, you've got an edge to you.
Guest:Well, you know, yes and no.
Marc:You're not playing a lot of moms.
Marc:No, I'm not, except on your show.
Marc:But that was like the most, that was the closest to your real you ever that you've ever been cast, I think.
Guest:Well, without the yelling.
Guest:Let's just say that again.
Marc:You only yelled once.
Guest:I yelled a lot.
Guest:By the way, it starts with me yelling in the kitchen on your show.
Marc:Was that yelling or were you just sort of laying down the law?
Guest:You know.
Marc:I mean, a little bit of both.
Marc:Yeah?
Guest:Anyways.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:No, but like Janine on House of Cards was not necessarily a woman in her 40s.
Guest:Right.
Guest:She was a woman that had worked her whole life and...
Guest:I don't even know if we told her age, because I don't really think it mattered.
Marc:What's her job on that show?
Guest:I was a journalist.
Guest:I was a White House correspondent, actually.
Guest:But that was fighting the good fight for what journalism used to be and what it is today.
Guest:A 40-year-old journalist fighting with a 20-year-old journalist who's doing Twitter and social media.
Marc:And misspelling.
Marc:And misspelling, exactly.
Marc:Not copy editing.
Guest:That's what I'm talking about.
Marc:The age of copy editing is over.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Anytime I see an article about me, which happen occasionally, I have to correct things and I have to write them back.
Guest:I had the same thing.
Guest:Well, and mine's already in this.
Guest:It was already published and they sent me a copy of it.
Guest:And I was like, there's misspellings and there's inaccuracies.
Guest:Like, who's checking this shit?
Marc:It's fucking a nightmare.
Guest:No, everybody's just like, go, go, out, out.
Guest:Nobody has any patience.
Guest:But I'm also crazy like that because before I was an actor, I used to like coordinate these huge celebrity events that raise money for charity.
Guest:And one of my main jobs was always making sure that everyone's names were spelled correct.
Guest:Everything about them was correct.
Guest:And that would take like two or three days of cross-referencing and all this stuff.
Marc:It's a job.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:No one does it anymore.
Marc:No.
Marc:So you played a journalist.
Marc:Like, I haven't watched this series.
Marc:I'm sorry.
Marc:I need to watch it.
Marc:Everyone loves it.
Marc:What do I watch?
Marc:What do you watch?
Marc:What do you have time to watch, really?
Marc:I watched Marin.
Marc:Right, and you did a great job, and that was funny.
Guest:No, I mean, I'm with you.
Guest:I don't watch a lot of television.
Marc:I mean, I watched The Mad Men, but honestly, when it came back, I was like, I thought it was over.
Marc:It wasn't over?
Guest:No, I know.
Marc:And then I watched Better Call Saul.
Marc:Better Call Saul is awesome.
Marc:It is awesome.
Guest:Last Man on Earth was fantastic.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Yeah, that I got through very quickly because they showed like two episodes at once.
Guest:So it really, it pulled you into it that you wanted to watch it then the next week and watch two episodes at once.
Marc:Togetherness I watched.
Marc:Togetherness, yes.
Marc:It was a little painful.
Guest:It is, yeah, because it's so true.
Marc:Is it?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, I see like I keep my, like I don't get involved with, it gets too messy with humans.
Marc:I know humans are really fucked up we really are a mess these days yeah but it's such a short we all fuck up the same way but it was a little painful and I talked to Linsky in here and I I don't know there was I liked it I thought it was really good maybe it was too real but I love that heavyset guy he's funny oh so great I'm sure he doesn't like being called the heavyset guy yeah the large man the large the large bald man yeah I don't know where the fuck he came from but he's funny well because he's Mark's friend
Marc:Right, but he's funny.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:How does a guy that funny not show up before?
Guest:You know why?
Guest:Because this is the only thing that is good that is happening with all of the Hulus and Amazons and all of these places where now people who you feel like come out of the woodworks, but it's not.
Guest:It's just they haven't been given the opportunities because everybody wants the same people over and over and over again.
Guest:You know, people reuse talent.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Well, yeah, and I think that's why that and also the the limitations like we were talking about for some real strips, like funding these make some older characters.
Guest:Well, because she's like, come on, I know you guys can write them.
Guest:So I'm just going to fund it.
Guest:I'm going to put down all this money and I'm going to have people be specific about writing credible female characters over the age of 40.
Marc:Isn't it weird, though, because when you watch movies and stuff, you see these movie stars who are around women for five years, maybe.
Marc:And then you're like, where are they?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:What happened to her?
Marc:But it's a choice.
Marc:And then all of a sudden, Rene Russo shows up somewhere, and you're like, oh, my God.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And she's still good.
Guest:How amazing was Nightcrawler?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That movie was good.
Guest:It's crazy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I love it because I watched that.
Guest:Were you in that?
Guest:I was...
Guest:No, but it's very funny because I watched the movie because people told me that it's like the movie version of our show, Unreal.
Guest:Because it's behind the scenes of these late night news networks.
Guest:And everybody said that I'm the Rene Russo character on our TV show and Jake Gyllenhaal is the Sherry Appleby on our TV show.
Guest:And so I was like, I want to see what that is.
Guest:What's the movie version of us?
Marc:It was a little menacing.
Marc:It's very menacing.
Marc:Gyllenhaal was like, that was some scary shit.
Guest:It was the best I've seen him.
Marc:Like a psychopath.
Marc:He was fantastic.
Marc:Not a sociopath.
Marc:Sociopaths are like people we know.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:Like something we could turn into in a couple of years, probably.
Marc:I think I know a couple.
Guest:Yeah, if you lock yourself in here, that could happen.
Marc:So, well, I guess, like, I don't know.
Marc:I guess that's true that in movies there's just not a hell of a lot of, like, just women characters in general of a certain age.
Marc:It's kind of weird when you think about it.
Guest:It is true because there's better now.
Guest:They're better in television.
Marc:Yeah, television's better in general.
Marc:And you're like in every show.
Marc:Well, not every show.
Marc:No, like you're like one of those people.
Guest:I'm on some good shows.
Guest:I can say I'm very grateful that I can say that.
Marc:Newsroom.
Guest:Newsroom.
Marc:That was good.
Guest:Over 40, by the way.
Marc:Yeah, but you're like a stud, you know what I mean?
Marc:You're not...
Marc:I think I would be criticized for saying that.
Marc:See, that's just the kind of attitude men have about women who are older and have- And are strong.
Marc:Strong.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You were on Grey's Anatomy, Alana Cahill.
Marc:How many episodes of that did you do?
Marc:Five.
Marc:That's exciting though, right?
Guest:But again, I was a ball buster on that show.
Marc:Another ball buster.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Entourage, you were on a lot.
Guest:I was on for six years.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:And you like Jeremy?
Guest:I love Jeremy.
Marc:Come on.
Guest:No, I'm being 100% honest.
Guest:I really do.
Marc:He's an intense fella.
Guest:He's an intense fella.
Marc:Been around a long time.
Guest:And an incredible actor.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So he always, he's always, when I'm around and we're in scenes, he's 100%.
Guest:Like he's there, he's focused.
Guest:And I can't say that about everybody I've worked with.
Marc:What?
Guest:Like, yeah, exactly.
Guest:I'm not looking at you in particular, Mark.
Marc:Yeah, what?
Guest:No, he's, you know, I think he is the epitome of being misunderstood.
Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, I don't know him, and I haven't even, like, he seems like, he's a little too guy's guy for me, but I mean, but he's a good actor.
Marc:I always like watching him.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And I haven't heard anything too bad about him.
Guest:No, I mean, look, everybody wants to say shit about anybody, you know, just because it's a story.
Marc:It's that town.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:This is the town for it.
Guest:The town for talking shit about people.
Guest:But no, I do love him, and I think that what was so great about, you know, Dana and Ari, who we were on the show, was that I had known him for years before that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I had worked with him on the Ellen show, you know, when Ellen had a sitcom back in the day.
Guest:And so I've known him for so long that when we got to work together again, there was already this friendship that we had.
Marc:What's sort of interesting?
Marc:There's like a whole crew of people like you who have been who actually work like always work.
Marc:And you kind of run into each other here and there on TV shows.
Marc:Because I always assume that there's some sort of community of actors and that people who do movies together.
Marc:Like with Hallie Jo Osmond, it's like, so how often are you in touch with Tom Hanks?
Marc:Right.
Marc:You know, you were in Forrest Gump when you were four.
Marc:So do you keep up that relationship?
Marc:No.
Marc:No one.
Marc:No.
Marc:You just go to work and then that's it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And because, I mean, there's some relationships that I have kept up, but mostly with the women.
Marc:Right.
Marc:But if you keep working, you run into people.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:There seems to be a crew that works.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:Or you do a TV show and then two years later, they make it into a movie and then you're all forced to be together again, whether you like.
Marc:But there's no bad ill will on that set.
Guest:no no no everyone's having a good time everybody is so excited it's like sex in the city for men exactly no but it is it's fantastic yeah yeah i i'm i still can't believe it i see the billboards for entourage and i'm like oh the show's back on you know i don't even i don't like realize like no we're in a movie i just watched a movie with you in it i'm not in very many movies was it oh results
Marc:I've never seen this filmmaker's work.
Marc:I kind of like the movie.
Guest:Oh, you would love Andrew.
Guest:Andrew Bozowski has such incredible movies.
Guest:This is like his first movie with like real big celebrities.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, and it was so cute.
Guest:Guy Pearce.
Guest:Guy Pearce.
Guest:Kobe Smulders.
Guest:What is she from?
Guest:How I Met Your Mother.
Guest:Oh, okay.
Guest:And the Avenger movies.
Marc:Right.
Marc:God, I'm so out of the fucking loop.
Guest:I am too, by the way.
Guest:The only reason why I know any of this is because, well, I know Kobe actually as a friend.
Marc:Why are we out of the loop?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I don't have time to go to the movies.
Guest:How old are you?
Guest:Is that wrong?
Guest:No, that's not wrong.
Guest:How old are you?
Marc:I'm 44.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:So I'm 51.
Guest:Wait, that's when you're supposed to say.
Marc:Oh, you look 35.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:You know, it takes a lot for me to go to the movies these days.
Guest:someone told me i should see mad the mad max movie yeah somebody said it's a you too yeah same thing maybe we should go together okay oh my god let's go see mad max together do it now let's do it we have to go to a matinee yeah because my nights are full with the child and the husband not even with the child and the husband because i have four projects all coming out within a week i gotta watch my projects but results i'm so glad you liked it i love that you saw it
Marc:It's compelling because it's like a real indie movie.
Marc:Like it's not following any rules and it seems to, you know, go weird place.
Marc:Got some poetry to it.
Guest:You know, when they had called me and just said, you know, hey, you know, they want you for this movie.
Guest:And I read it super fast and I was like, wait, there's how many sex scenes with Guy Pearce?
Yeah.
Guest:And I was just like, I didn't even, I was like, oh, okay.
Marc:I didn't see one of those yet.
Marc:I'll do it.
Marc:I did.
Marc:They're in the montage.
Marc:There's a montage.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:With heavy breathing.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:Sex faces.
Marc:They are good.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:How is that?
Guest:By the way, you still have to get naked just for sex faces.
Guest:So just realize that it's not like I had on, you know, fully clothed.
Marc:But not totally naked for sex faces, because that seems like you've taken advantage of.
Guest:No, you get like nipple covers.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Yeah, it was the first day I met Guy, and then I had to just take off my clothes in front of him.
Marc:How was that for you?
Marc:Guy's all right.
Guest:Guy's pretty cute.
Marc:He's a weaselly guy, if you like that weaselly guy.
Marc:He had to take his clothes off, too.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:All of it?
Guest:Well, you know.
Marc:Did they put a dick tape on him?
Marc:A dick cover?
Guest:I know, right?
Guest:Where are the dick covers?
Guest:It would have to be gigantic, right?
Guest:I mean, I don't know.
Marc:Not that I saw that.
Marc:Guy would be happy to hear that.
Guest:Not that I saw that.
Guest:But I mean, as in general speaking.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:When I did sex scenes, I wore boxers and also briefs and taped it down.
Guest:Taped it down, right.
Marc:Sure, just in case.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:Some guys wear cups.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:Like baseball?
Guest:Right.
Guest:So that even if there is something, two body parts meeting, there's a cup.
Guest:So it's like, I don't know.
Marc:Have you had that experience personally?
Marc:I did.
Marc:I did.
Marc:You grinded a guy with a cup?
Marc:I did.
Marc:What movie was that?
Guest:That was on Unreal.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:So this is recent.
Guest:This is, yes.
Marc:So the guy said, I got to wear a cup.
Marc:Who decides that?
Guest:Yeah, the actor.
Guest:I think, I mean, look, it's a personal choice.
Guest:You know, sometimes it gets a little, you know, some people like to put pillows in between themselves.
Wow.
Marc:because they're afraid they'll get a boner probably yeah i think that's more that's more uncomfortable than like actual like oh this is kind of fun and then all of a sudden well i did the the sex scenes in uh like i found i was putting pressure on myself you know like i i like i i want to know how how were you putting pressure on yourself well we're doing these sex scenes and i had the moment where
Marc:It was fine, being appropriate and being actor-y.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:Kissing and stuff.
Marc:Did you slip the tongue?
Marc:No.
Marc:Oh, good.
Guest:You're not supposed to.
Marc:No, I didn't know what to do.
Marc:The first time I did it, first season, I asked her, I said, what do we do?
Marc:Is there tongue involved?
Marc:Do you want to do a trial run?
Guest:You want to go practice in the bathroom?
Marc:Yeah, do you want to try it before we just do it?
Marc:And she's like, no, I don't think that's appropriate.
Marc:And I'm like, all right, I don't know.
Marc:And then we ended up doing it, no tongues.
Marc:And then she said, look, sometimes you might get a boner, but it happens, it's okay.
Marc:And then once I was out there, I'm like, why am I not getting a boner?
Marc:I was like, I should be getting a boner.
Guest:Maybe you were just such a good actor.
Marc:You had to shut it down.
Guest:You were just like, shut that down down there.
Guest:Just, you know, lay low, dude.
Marc:Like I felt I failed sexually in a situation where I was not supposed to have that.
Guest:Yeah, but it's a lot of pressure.
Guest:I mean, it's not like it's just you and one other person.
Marc:Right.
Guest:And there's a whole camera crew and lighting people and makeup and hair.
Marc:And you can't go that.
Marc:Like, you know, you can't.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So how was the cup situation?
Marc:I was fine.
Guest:I mean, listen, for me, and actually I would say because I was the aggressor in the situation, that it allows me to feel like I'm not invading anyone's personal space.
Marc:Was he married to?
Marc:No.
Marc:Oh.
Guest:Craig Bierko.
Guest:Do you know Craig Bierko?
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:I met him before.
Guest:Yeah, he's on the show.
Marc:He's a very tall man.
Marc:Very tall, yes.
Guest:Also an incredible actor.
Guest:But, yeah, you know, it's...
Guest:What?
Guest:It's an uncomfortable thing to do sex scenes with, you know, a crew of 20 people around you.
Marc:Did you kiss too?
Guest:Oh, yes.
Guest:We have to do all that stuff.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And make it look like your mouth's open?
Marc:Open your mouth?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:Did you put tongue?
Guest:No tongue.
Guest:No tongue, Mark Maron.
Guest:No tongue.
Guest:No tongue.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:But it's funny because I feel like when you're single and they're single, you're like, well, why not?
Marc:No harm, no foul.
Marc:Well, let's talk about that period of the life where you were just running around Hollywood out of control.
Guest:I was a little crazy.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:When did you start the acting?
Marc:Because when was this period of time where you were organizing charity events?
Guest:That was before I was a quote unquote working actor.
Guest:That was my job.
Guest:My job was.
Marc:Oh, and you were going out on auditions, but you had that job.
Guest:Correct.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Where'd you grow up?
Guest:I grew up actually in Newport Beach.
Marc:Oh, way out there?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I was born in Seattle, was there till I was five, came to Santa Monica for like kindergarten, first, second grade.
Guest:Why the move?
Guest:my mom parents got divorced when you were five when i was five i was two actually when they got divorced yeah but then left seattle when i was five seattle's nice seattle's great is your dad up there very rainy yes he's still there you talk to him yes i see him if i'm lucky you know once or twice a year uh-huh we meet in hawaii really yeah why not okay if you can meet in hawaii why wouldn't you does he go to hawaii often or yes yes yeah he has a place in maui what's his what's his deal what's he do that guy
Guest:He's retired.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:He's 80.
Guest:My dad is an old guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I think he's 83.
Marc:I guess mine is too.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Do you have other siblings?
Guest:I have a sister, three and a half years older.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Guest:And yeah, it's, you know, growing up and like my mom moved around for the public schools.
Marc:Oh.
Guest:You know, she was a single mom raising two girls.
Marc:So she wanted you to be in good schools.
Guest:Correct.
Marc:Is she still around?
Guest:Yeah, she's still around.
Guest:She lives in Venice.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:In a nice place?
Guest:Yeah, she lives in a, she's been there for like 25 years.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:She bought a house there?
Guest:No, she has an apartment.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Guest:Yeah, and this like amazing community in Venice.
Marc:A community?
Guest:A community, because they are all, you know, Green Party people.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:So your mom's an old hippie?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Ah.
Guest:An old German hippie.
Marc:German?
Marc:If those two go together.
Marc:You like German German?
Guest:Yeah, I'm full German, by the way.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Your dad's German too?
Marc:My dad's German.
Marc:You speak German?
Marc:Yes, I speak German.
Marc:Stop it.
Marc:I do.
Marc:That's the most horrifying sounding thing.
Guest:language it can be pretty so you can it make that happen for me um i'm gonna try and find something um um du bist wunderschön oh that's cute oh i said you're wonderful
Marc:Oh, see?
Marc:There's something abrupt about it all.
Guest:Well, it is.
Guest:Well, I mean, because you're probably just being very generic and thinking of the people that are like, I think I'm just being Jewish.
Guest:There you go.
Guest:Oh, that's what just happened.
Guest:I see.
Guest:Do not hate.
Guest:I'm not hating at all.
Marc:No, no, I'm kidding.
Marc:I have no... But I have...
Marc:Like if you think of Italian or you think of French, even Russian, Russian is abrupt.
Marc:Chinese, it's difficult.
Marc:But German, it seems close.
Marc:Like I can make things out like it's familiar in a way, but it's just a little brutal.
Guest:I agree.
Guest:It does have a harsh tone to it.
Marc:So did you grow up eating sausages?
Guest:No, because my mother was more the anti-German, constantly doing stuff that wasn't German, trying to not be where she was from.
Guest:So she was in San Francisco.
Guest:She was trying to be an actress.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Was she part of the hippie thing?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, we had carob chips instead of chocolate chips.
Guest:We had granola instead of sugary cereal.
Marc:Did she let her hair remain gray?
Guest:Yes, she actually has.
Guest:She went fully gray.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:She used to have like strawberry blonde hair and yeah, now she went fully gray.
Guest:It looks fantastic and I love it.
Marc:Now, what part of Germany are they from?
Guest:My mother was born in a very small town that used to be Prussia.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it's called Königsberg.
Yeah.
Guest:My father was also born in a tiny, tiny town in Germany that also I don't think exists.
Marc:Did you go visit those places?
Guest:No, no.
Guest:But you didn't speak German.
Marc:Did you go to Germany?
Guest:My dad's town is completely, like, there's maybe one or two homes that are there that were there when he was a kid.
Guest:Otherwise, it's completely a different place.
Marc:Have you been to Germany?
Guest:Oh, yes.
Guest:I was shipped off to Germany every summer for six weeks.
Guest:For your grandparents?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:From age five to age 18 to be with our grandparents who didn't speak any English.
Guest:So that was where we did our German training, our German speaking and all of that stuff.
Guest:And it's funny because now as a parent, I realized, wow, that's amazing that my mom did that.
Guest:She was a single parent, shipped both of her daughters off for six weeks every summer.
Guest:She needed a break.
Guest:Yeah, she was like, get the fuck out of my house.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Some of us had to go to camp.
Marc:You got to go to Germany.
Guest:I got to go to Germany.
Guest:That's right.
Marc:So where did your grandmother live?
Guest:She lived in a tiny town called Batschvatow.
Marc:But it was close to a city?
Guest:South of Hamburg.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So we would take the train, go to Hamburg, buy amazing clothes, you know, come back to LA.
Guest:That seems great.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was, in the moment, yes and no.
Guest:You know, I miss my friends.
Guest:I would leave to Germany.
Guest:I'd come back.
Guest:I had boobs.
Guest:You know, it was like I would become different people when I went to Germany and then I'd come back.
Marc:But at least when you got back, you got to see, like, I think I'm winning.
Marc:Like, I'm beating you with the boobs.
Guest:I'm beating you with the boobs and the Benetton because Benetton was all over Europe.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:So you were ahead of the curve on Benetton?
Guest:I was.
Guest:Very colorful clothing.
Marc:So you grew up all in Newport Beach?
Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, from sixth grade to 12th grade is when I was in Newport Beach.
Guest:And then I had to get out of there.
Guest:And I went to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts out of high school because I knew when I was a senior in high school that I wanted to be an actor.
Marc:Where's that?
Guest:That used to be in Pasadena.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I think it moved to Hollywood.
Marc:Were you going in Pasadena?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So down the street?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Kinda.
Guest:That's right.
Marc:And you were there for four years?
Guest:No, no.
Guest:Actually, it's funny.
Guest:I did one year and I didn't get asked back.
Marc:What?
Marc:How'd you scare them?
Guest:What happened?
Guest:You know, all of us who didn't get asked back decided that they felt that we were good enough to be let out into the world, into the industry.
Marc:Who are they?
Marc:Oh, there's others?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:There's others, but a lot of them actually don't act anymore.
Guest:It's funny, they all stop.
Guest:Smart ones?
Guest:Yeah, the ones, they were like, I can't do this anymore.
Marc:It's a fucking ridiculous profession.
Guest:Yes, I know.
Marc:But when did you know you wanted to do that shit?
Guest:When I was a senior in high school.
Guest:I did Grease was my first play I ever did.
Marc:Rizzo?
Guest:No, I was Patti Simcox.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:The obnoxious cheerleader.
Guest:And now I would probably play Rizzo.
Guest:But back then, no, I was like cheerleader.
Guest:You know, I was in drama.
Guest:I was that girl.
Marc:And you were singing?
Guest:And I was singing and dancing and doing high kicks.
Guest:Do you know, I was training for the Olympics in gymnastics.
Marc:When you were a kid?
Guest:When I was in like third and fourth grade.
Marc:Have you tried to do any of that recently?
Guest:Yes, I have.
Marc:Do a mat work?
Guest:Makes me very flexible.
Marc:Do the horse?
Marc:Yeah, the horse.
Marc:The bars?
Marc:The uneven bars?
Guest:The uneven bars and some floor.
Guest:I was very good on the floor.
Marc:Yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Was that your thing?
Marc:That was my thing.
Guest:But again, I developed.
Guest:I got boobs and it slowed me down.
Marc:Right.
Marc:But gymnastics is very specific.
Marc:It requires a lot of intense training.
Guest:And I was done.
Marc:Could you do the poom, poom, poom?
Guest:Yes, I could do the poom, poom, poom.
Marc:What are those called?
Guest:Backflips?
Guest:Back handsprings.
Marc:Like the whole run of the mat?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:You could do it?
Marc:Oh, 100%.
Marc:That must be exciting to be able to do that.
Guest:And now you should see me trying to teach my daughter how to do a cartwheel.
Marc:You can't do it?
Guest:And she's like, Mom, I don't understand.
Guest:How do you get your legs so straight?
Marc:You can do a pretty good cartwheel skill?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:100%.
Marc:But you can't do a backflip.
Guest:Oh, I could.
Marc:If I went... It's like riding a bike, kind of, you mean?
Guest:It is.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Muscle memory?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, it's muscle memory.
Guest:It's strength.
Guest:Your body just knows how to go back there when you have to.
Marc:How old's your daughter?
Marc:She's seven.
Marc:Just the one kid, right?
Guest:Just the one.
Guest:I only need one.
Marc:That's enough?
Guest:You only ever need one.
Marc:How is she doing?
Marc:How are you guys getting along?
Marc:Good?
Guest:She's kind of a bitch right now.
Marc:Oh, really?
Guest:I mean, that might sound a little harsh, but I feel like somebody handed out a memo in first grade and said, all right, bitches, it's time to become that.
Guest:Because they look to teenagers so much and...
Guest:And I don't know why, but they start taking on the personalities of what teenagers are doing that a seven-year-old shouldn't be doing.
Marc:Is that new, though?
Marc:No.
Marc:Did we do it?
Marc:I'm sure we did it.
Guest:We have a lot more.
Guest:The kids today have so much more influence than we did as kids.
Marc:Influence in general?
Guest:Oh, my.
Guest:I mean, the Internet alone.
Marc:Oh, right.
Guest:iPads, computers, television.
Marc:Oh, you mean they've got a handle on things.
Guest:Oh, and it's right.
Guest:Like it's in the palm of their hand.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I didn't have any control of anything.
Marc:No.
Marc:Could barely handle being alive.
Guest:No, exactly.
Guest:Well, and what did we have?
Marc:What grade is that?
Guest:We had like three channels of television.
Marc:I think it was better then.
Marc:Back in our day.
Marc:What grade is seven?
Guest:First grade.
Marc:First grade.
Marc:I have no fucking recollection of that.
Guest:I was in Santa Monica at the time, but I mean, I don't remember who I was as a person at all.
Guest:That's all I keep saying is like, she's never going to remember any of this.
Marc:I think third grade is about where it starts, where I have nice pieces of memory.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I remember in third grade, I got exposed to by a man on the street.
Guest:And that's like my one memory of myself in third grade.
Marc:You saw your first stranger cock?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Stranger cock.
Guest:The stranger cock.
Guest:That's exactly what I was thinking.
Marc:Did you run?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No.
Guest:You know, because those days you walk to school.
Guest:It doesn't matter how far you live from the school.
Guest:Like I walked by myself to school.
Guest:Right.
Guest:In a quaint little town of Fountain Valley.
Guest:Third grade.
Guest:Third grade.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And walked to school and somebody had pulled up on the side of the road.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And rolled down his window and said, excuse me, I'm looking for my dog.
Guest:I've lost my dog.
Guest:Have you seen my dog?
Guest:And I said, no.
Guest:I said, what does your dog look like?
Guest:And he said, he looks like this and just opened his jacket and he was completely nude.
Marc:Uh huh.
Guest:Giant boner.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And what did you do?
Guest:I just moved away from the truck very fast.
Guest:And I think instead of going to school, I walked back home.
Marc:Quickly?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Did you try to keep your cool?
I did.
I did.
Guest:Isn't that terrifying, though?
Marc:It is.
Marc:Cocks are very terrifying.
Marc:Especially stranger cock.
Marc:Stranger cock when they're surprised, when they surprise you with them.
Guest:You're just like, let me whip this out.
Marc:In an inappropriate, you know, molesty way.
Guest:Oh, God.
Guest:I just, that terrifies me.
Guest:It never makes me, I don't want my daughter to ever walk to school alone.
Marc:Yeah, no one can walk anywhere alone.
Guest:No.
Marc:Yeah, it's a different time.
Marc:We've grown to believe that they're just everywhere.
Guest:They are.
Marc:They are?
Guest:Stranger cock is everywhere.
Marc:It is?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I guess so.
Marc:Well, now you can just go online.
Marc:Isn't there like a website where you can see who the sexual deviants are in your neighborhood?
Guest:Oh, yeah, but I can't do that.
Guest:They're probably everywhere, and then I would never leave my house.
Marc:You never let your daughter go outside, that's for sure.
Marc:No, no.
Marc:Well, this is taking a turn for the... I know.
Guest:How did we get to this?
Marc:Because we were talking about our memories as child, as children.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And I said third grade, and you were like, yeah, the only thing I remember from third grade is this guy's dick in a truck.
Guest:That's right.
Marc:Well, you seem to have a pretty good attitude about it.
Marc:It didn't fuck you up too much.
Yeah.
Guest:That still has yet to be seen.
Guest:I'm still young, Mark.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Let's be honest.
Marc:So, all right.
Marc:So you're jumping around on mats and then you get into song and dance.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, cause what's very funny is that I got tired of working out.
Guest:I was just like, I can't, there's got to be something more exciting that I can do in front of an audience that doesn't require working out like 18 hours a day.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know, you realize that the real desire was to put on a show.
Guest:That I liked being in front of people, yeah.
Guest:And so then I moved to dance, but then I didn't like dance because it was working out and it was being in leotards, which I hated.
Guest:I was like, no, no more leotards.
Marc:And repeating moves to music.
Guest:No, yeah.
Guest:So then I didn't like that.
Guest:And so then I saw that they were auditioning for Grease and I was a cheerleader at the time.
Guest:And I said, oh, I'm just going to go and try out for this part of a cheerleader.
Guest:And because Grease was one of my favorite movies, that and Saturday Night Fever.
Guest:Hello.
Marc:Yeah, it's a good one.
Guest:And so, you know, I auditioned for it.
Guest:I got the part.
Guest:And then I was like, this is, I don't have to work out.
Marc:Were you getting some laughs too?
Guest:I was getting laughs.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That's a big moment.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Getting the laugh.
Guest:It's the greatest feeling ever.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The best.
Guest:And then I was like, this is it.
Guest:I love it.
Marc:And how much theater did you do?
Guest:I did, well, so high school I did Grease and I did Peter Pan.
Guest:I didn't play Pan.
Guest:I played Tiger Lily.
Marc:You didn't get to fly?
Marc:Did you fly?
Guest:No, no, Tiger Lily doesn't fly.
Guest:But whatever, she's an Indian princess.
Guest:Yeah, that's good.
Guest:She doesn't need to fly.
Guest:But after, when I went to the American Academy, then that's what I did.
Guest:I just did a bunch of theater in L.A., and that's where people would come and see me, and that's how I got an agent.
Guest:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:When did you get the agent?
Marc:For what play were you doing?
Guest:I was doing Catholic schoolgirls about... You played two characters in this play.
Guest:You played a Catholic schoolgirl and then you played a nun.
Guest:And I played a German Nazi nun.
Guest:Which, if you can imagine, when my father came... Did you speak the German?
Guest:I spoke the German.
Guest:I used a German accent.
Marc:That must have been impressive to the agent.
Guest:They were like, oh, look at her.
Guest:She's so versatile.
Marc:Doing voice work.
Marc:She studied German dialect.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:Yeah, and so I did that.
Marc:What about your dad, though?
Guest:Well, my dad came and he didn't think it was very funny.
Marc:Was it a comedy?
Guest:It was, yes.
Guest:I mean, everything was very over the top.
Guest:The characters were very over the top.
Guest:But no, he didn't think that was very funny.
Guest:That's all right.
Marc:You can't please everybody.
Marc:He got all German on you?
Yeah.
Guest:He's like, I don't understand.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Did he say that?
Guest:He spoke with a German accent.
Guest:It's weird.
Guest:It's weird.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He does speak with a German accent.
Marc:What was his job?
Guest:He was a structural engineer.
Guest:So he retired at the age of 60.
Guest:a structural engineer yeah he built incredible buildings in South Africa all over the world and there's still buildings up in Seattle that are buildings that he designed as well so he works with an architect correct yes he's the guy that says no if you do that it'll fall on people yes oh yes it's important it feels like a German job to me yeah because you have to be engineering yeah it's because German I mean we are so like OCD like crazy control freaky yes
Guest:I was going to try and like go around that.
Marc:Yeah, I know.
Guest:But no, I'm pretty much, I am a control freak.
Guest:I'm going to admit it right here on your show.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:Big news.
Marc:Breaking.
Marc:TMZ.
Marc:Constant Zimmer.
Marc:Control freak in quotation marks.
Guest:I'm trying to get over it though.
Guest:I'm really trying very hard.
Marc:How do you do that?
Guest:I'm not quite sure because it's not working.
Marc:But you're aware of it?
Marc:How does it manifest itself where you're like, I got to stop this?
Guest:Just letting people do what they're going to do, allow them to make mistakes and not trying to control them to not.
Marc:So you're basically talking about your husband and your daughter.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:No, I'm pretty sure I do it to my friends, too.
Guest:You do?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But, you know, I'm a loving control freak.
Guest:I just want everybody to be great.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:Oh, is that it?
Marc:And if they're not, you're like, okay, well...
Guest:Oh, you can go work on that.
Guest:We tried.
Guest:We tried.
Guest:We tried really hard.
Marc:And you failed.
Marc:You failed miserably.
Marc:Horrible.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No, look, that's the one thing I like about getting older is I'm realizing all of my flaws and I'm going to be at one with them.
Guest:Because at this point, if you can't be at one with who you are at this late in the day.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:But does that involve trying to fix it?
Marc:I mean, you can accept it.
Guest:Accept it.
Guest:I think accepting it and acknowledging it makes me, I think, just not do it as much because I'm aware of it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:My mom got better.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:She wasn't great.
Guest:Was she a control freak too?
Marc:No, she was, I don't know, not really a control freak, but she was a little detached or something.
Marc:What was it?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:Whatever it was, she made an effort later in life.
Marc:It wasn't controlling.
Marc:She has an eating disorder.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Marc:And she gave it to my brother.
Marc:She gave it to me.
Marc:So we're all sort of weird.
Marc:We all have this horrible, paralyzing body dysmorphia.
Marc:She just destroyed our confidence.
Guest:Oh, I'm sorry.
Guest:Oh, here we go.
Guest:This is the moment when Mark cries.
Marc:I'm not supposed to cry.
Marc:But she can't put that back in the... No, that's there.
Marc:Yeah, but she seems to be a little better at saying things like, I'm proud of you, and that was good.
Guest:Yeah, because then it's too late, and then you don't want to have regrets.
Marc:Right.
Guest:But I feel that as a parent.
Guest:It's very stressful.
Guest:Nobody writes a book about that shit, how much you can fuck up your kid.
Marc:Well, yeah, they write ones about how to, like, suppose it would be a good parent, but don't they?
Guest:Aren't they?
Guest:Yes and no, but it's statistical.
Guest:It's like, you know, don't spank them.
Guest:Well, okay, we know today it's wrong to spank your kids.
Guest:Back when we were growing up, they were spanking the shit.
Guest:I mean, my husband was beat with a stick that he used to have to go get out on the farm.
Guest:He had to pick his own stick that he would switch, exactly, that he would then be beat with.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know, it's just a different time of raising kids in a different time.
Guest:But there is no book about if you do this, it will result in this.
Guest:Right.
Guest:It's just don't do this, but do this.
Guest:And there's nothing about the consequences of it.
Guest:So and we're all I think and this is I'm just speaking for myself, but I'm far more aware of the things I say, the actions I take for my daughter and how they will affect her in the future.
Guest:Not even today.
Guest:I don't think about today so much.
Guest:I think about, wait, if I tell her that now, that's going to go into her brain.
Guest:And then when she is a teenager, she's going to go back to it.
Marc:But do you do you ever check yourself in terms of like what you're saying, where it's coming from emotionally within you?
Guest:Oh, 100%.
Guest:100%.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:And you know you always say you don't want to do what your parents did to you.
Guest:It's all about I'm not going to be the parent.
Guest:And there are times when I catch myself doing things that my mom did or my dad did.
Guest:That you think fucked you up?
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Like what?
No.
Guest:I mean, I think more with my dad, it wasn't what was said.
Guest:It was what was not said.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Because he wasn't so much a part of raising me.
Guest:So I have definitely a thing with men.
Guest:I still don't know what that thing is.
Guest:But, you know, my sister's a therapist and she always says to me, you really should go into therapy and talk about the fact that we didn't, you know, really have this father figure, so to speak.
Guest:A thing with men.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:That's what I mean.
Guest:I've just labeled it as that.
Guest:But you know it's there?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:I mean, I've called it a thing.
Guest:I've gotten that far.
Guest:See, I'm slowly, I'm slowly working it out in my later years.
Marc:Right.
Marc:But okay, so you don't want to be emotionally detached from your daughter.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:And what'd your mother do?
Guest:You know, my mother, I can't really complain that much about because she is why I think I am as independent as I am and how much I don't think I need men or anybody else but myself.
Marc:Does your husband know this?
Marc:Yes, he does.
Marc:I have no need for it whatsoever.
Marc:Rather, you just...
Guest:No, he actually, I'm going to say this, and I'm being honest.
Guest:This is not to cover my tracks, but I will say that, because this is my second marriage, I didn't get that.
Guest:The first one didn't go right.
Guest:How long was that one?
Guest:That one, well, I was with him for five years, but the marriage lasted for six months.
Guest:Wait, when did that happen?
Guest:Wait, let me say the good thing first, though, because it does kind of have to do with the first marriage.
Guest:He was a big special effects makeup artist.
Guest:Interesting.
Marc:Go ahead.
Marc:You're like, let's look that up on the computer.
Guest:Where's the good one?
Guest:No, but the good one.
Marc:What's the good thing?
Guest:Well, Russ, who is my husband today and who is really the only husband that matters, is that, you know, being with somebody, because I know you talk about this a lot on your show and the dating and women and relationships and how they're so fucking hard and all this crap.
Marc:Yeah, it's crap, but it's true.
Guest:But it's true and, you know, it's hard sometimes.
Guest:And they're hard.
Guest:By the way, they don't ever get easy.
Guest:Great.
Guest:You know, because the good ones are worth fighting for and the good ones require work.
Guest:But I will tell you that it's...
Guest:it's when you get to a play and i think you and i kind of touched on this when we worked together was when you get to a place where you are good with yourself right then the person that comes along is like it it all works right because you just can't keep searching for yourself and other people right and hoping that they will fulfill it right so russ is uh has been the man for the man for me
Marc:So you feel separate now.
Marc:You don't feel like you're trying to resolve something with him.
Guest:Correct.
Guest:He's like everything that comes into the relationship with him is an added bonus.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know, it's all there.
Guest:It's already there.
Guest:All the groundwork and everything is there.
Guest:And then everything else is just like, oh, this is amazing.
Guest:This is added.
Guest:This is whipped cream.
Marc:Right, right.
Marc:So you're not playing out an old script that's sort of doomed to cycle out.
Marc:Right.
Marc:The first husband, that was just a mistake.
Guest:Well, it was not a mistake.
Guest:It was a... How old were you?
Guest:I met him when I was 24.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was very young.
Marc:And you were working on a movie?
Guest:No, but I did meet him on a job.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:You know those Duracell commercials that was the plastic family?
Guest:They were called the Puttermans and they had batteries in the back of their backs.
Guest:If it wasn't a Duracell, they fell into food or whatever.
Guest:Were you one of them?
Guest:I was the daughter in that campaign.
Guest:By the way, that's a boost to your ego.
Guest:When your big job you get, you're covered in prosthetics.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But no, I had met him on that job because he created the whole concept of these putterments.
Marc:And that was so impressive to you that you had to jump that guy.
Marc:You're a genius.
Guest:He is a mad genius.
Guest:And he really is.
Marc:Still?
Guest:Still.
Guest:Yeah, 100%.
Guest:We are friends.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, that's good.
Guest:Yeah, it's great.
Guest:But I wouldn't take that time back.
Guest:I mean, I don't take anything back that happened in my life.
Guest:Can't.
Guest:Can't.
Guest:Well, and really don't want to.
Guest:It's every reason why I am right here today with you sitting in this chair and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
Marc:Did you always think that way, though?
Guest:No.
Guest:God, no.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, it takes a while to figure out how to think that way.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Regrets are useless.
Marc:They're just useless.
Marc:Just act different.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Just, you know.
Marc:Accept it.
Guest:Well, and what is the definition of a crazy person is making the same mistakes and
Marc:Over and over again, expecting different results.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:I think that's like, I hear that definition a lot and I've used it myself, but I'm not sure where it comes from.
Marc:I think, do you know what I mean?
Guest:I don't know who says it.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Maybe it was a crazy person that said it.
Marc:Well, I think I've heard it in recovery and I've heard it and it sort of makes sense.
Marc:But sometimes, you know, you're doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
Marc:You know, maybe one day you'll get different results.
Guest:No, you won't.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:So I'm crazy.
Guest:I mean, no.
Guest:I mean, look, whatever.
Guest:I feel like anything's possible.
Marc:Was that your first acting job?
Guest:The batteries?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:No, I think my first acting job was how to get away with...
Guest:murdering your parents like some crazy movie of the week yeah that I had one line and I was actually cut out of the movie but you can still hear my voice saying or no it's the day my parents ran away oh
Guest:but it was about the it was how old were you god i don't even remember 23 really so that's when it all started and were you playing younger parts yes that's how it goes that's when i was playing like 18 right how long did you do that for you just stopped doing that right i just stopped doing that yeah you're playing like 23 24 exactly
Guest:i remember i'll never forget the day i got the call and they're like they want you to play 35 and i remember i was 35 at the time and i said what what no that's that's actually how old i am and you know i had to have that i had that talk with my manager they're like well constance here's the deal oh my god the time has come when you are going to actually play your age and
Guest:I was like, wow, I've aged into myself.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Is what happens.
Guest:But that's when everything got good, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I really... Honestly, I do think that the older I got, the parts did get better.
Marc:Do you go through periods where... Like, are you... Is there something you want to do that you're not doing?
Marc:Do you like...
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, I want to go into directing.
Guest:I've been directing theater lately.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Where do you direct theater?
Guest:I do it with this, the Blank Theater in Hollywood, in West Hollywood.
Guest:They do a young playwrights festival every summer where all the playwrights are under the age of 18.
Guest:Mm-hmm.
Guest:And they're one act plays.
Guest:It's only in the month of June.
Guest:Mm-hmm.
Guest:and it's right now the one time i have the time to go in and rehearse for a couple of weeks and i used to act in them yeah but i that i haven't had as much time to do and also because mostly they write younger characters yeah these kids so i've been directing i'm directing my third one this year and it's i love directing i would love to direct more and more and more theater
Guest:Theater.
Guest:No, I would do anything.
Guest:I'll do television.
Guest:I'll do film.
Guest:I just got it.
Guest:I'm going to have to.
Guest:I know.
Guest:It's like, how do you get into that?
Guest:Well, you have to shadow.
Guest:You know, people have to feel that you're capable.
Marc:Right.
Marc:I think you know a guy that directs things.
Guest:I do.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:He lives in your house.
Marc:I know.
Marc:I know.
Marc:I'm going to shadow him.
Marc:I could shadow him.
Marc:Well, you should let him get his big break first.
Marc:Let him get his footing in the back.
Marc:Yeah, exactly.
Marc:In the world of movies and television.
Guest:But that, I will say, that's the hardest part, though, is because he is a director.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he's such a good director.
Guest:And whenever I tell him I'm going to direct something, he's definitely supportive.
Guest:But there's also this, oh.
Yeah.
Guest:So you're going to try to tackle this now?
Marc:Yeah, right, right.
Guest:Okay.
Marc:Can I have anything?
Guest:Exactly.
Marc:Competitiveness is rough.
Marc:Exactly, yeah.
Marc:But see, that was the thing I was getting at with the kid and being somebody who's sort of a show person.
Marc:Do you ever have that moment where, you know, like, because...
Marc:I don't have kids and it's probably better off because there's a part of me that's sort of like, what, you think you're a hotshot because you're a kid?
Marc:What do you think?
Marc:And that's not a good thing to have competitive.
Marc:And I think my father was competitive with me from early on that just sort of like, what's the big deal, kid?
Marc:Right.
Marc:Do you fight with that?
Guest:You know, I do and I don't.
Guest:I mean, I do, but I saw it myself.
Guest:Right.
Marc:But I think that's part of a parent's thing.
Marc:You have to admit that you have these moments, but you just don't act like an idiot.
Guest:No.
Guest:And I think for me, what's funny is that Colette is very actually artistic, like an incredible artist.
Guest:And I love watching it and knowing like she's growing up in a world that I did not grow up in.
Guest:Like she's going on sets, you know, she's meeting people.
Guest:And it's like, that's the stuff that fascinates me is how is that going to influence her?
Guest:Like, can she like, is she going to be in the business?
Guest:Because that's what she grew up around.
Marc:Do you want her to be in the business?
Guest:I don't.
Guest:I'm not definitely not pushing her that way at all.
Guest:Well, I know, I know.
Guest:But if she does want to be an actor, I'll be supportive, but I'm definitely not putting her into anything until she has the right mindset to say, this is what I want to do 100%.
Guest:So like when she's eight or nine?
Guest:No, I'm going to wait until she's like 13, 14, 15, 30, maybe 30 might be.
Guest:But the funniest thing that I found with her, which is going to be admitting something pretty sad, is she's blonde hair
Guest:uh green eyes she's tall yeah and i would like when i started realizing that i was like you know what fuck you man i'm short i'm a brunette i have i don't have long legs and you know i was like she's the girl that when i was in high school i was like oh look at
Marc:She's so pretty.
Guest:Now she's in the house.
Guest:Now she's in my house.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:Where'd she get that stuff from your husband?
Guest:Russ, yeah.
Guest:Because he's like blonde, blue eyes, tall.
Guest:Thank God those jeans won out, right?
Guest:That's what I say.
Guest:She has his looks and my personality.
Guest:Perfect.
Guest:So I feel like it's going to go very far.
Guest:Oh, that's great.
Guest:She's going to go very far.
Marc:My producer said he saw you at the correspondence dinner.
Marc:Explain to me what that was about.
Yeah.
Guest:Okay, so for me, that's the third year I've gone to that dinner.
Marc:What is the organization that you're part of?
Guest:Well, the last two years, I went with the Creative Coalition, which is what Haley Joel went with as well.
Guest:So the Creative Coalition is a nonprofit organization that is fighting to keep arts funding and education.
Guest:And they're using celebrity voices.
Guest:They're using anybody that can raise awareness and try and, you know, get the government to keep funding arts and why it's so important.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Because they're taking it out of everywhere.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So they get this incredible group of actors from all different mediums, television, film, theater, writers, producers, whatever they can get.
Guest:And you go to Capitol Hill and you meet with senators and you talk to them about why arts in education is so important.
Guest:And I did it for the first time last year and it was unbelievably fulfilling and depressing because
Guest:Because unfortunately, you know, the Republicans hate to call them out, but they don't get it.
Guest:You know, and it's hard and they think that we're trying to fight to give us money.
Guest:And it's like, no, no, no, no, no.
Guest:We're here because we had the arts.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:We don't want I don't want your money.
Guest:I want the money to go to my kids.
Guest:I want the money to go to your kids so that they have communication skills and they know how to, you know, stand up in front of a room and not piss themselves.
Marc:Engage your creativity.
Marc:Exactly.
Yeah.
Guest:So, yeah, so I've gone with them for the last two years.
Guest:And then the first year I went as a House of Cards cast member because House of Cards was huge in D.C.
Guest:They love it.
Guest:They love it so much.
Marc:They do?
Guest:They do.
Guest:They really do.
Guest:And it's so fun being on a political show and being in Washington.
Marc:Yeah?
Marc:Because you're a real rock star?
Guest:Oh, the real White House correspondents.
Guest:I mean, they come up to me and they're just like, thank you for making us look so cool.
Guest:Like, really?
Guest:I did that?
Guest:Okay.
Guest:And I mean, I got to meet David Carr before he passed away.
Guest:And he was so influential on House of Cards.
Guest:I would have, you know, those are, again, relationships that I would have never had had I not been on that type of show.
Marc:Whose brainchild is the House of Cards?
Marc:Beau Willimon.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Who wrote Ides of March.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:And Kevin Spacey.
Marc:Working with him is great.
Guest:Amazing.
Guest:I mean, he really can't do no wrong.
Guest:He's something, huh?
Guest:He is incredible.
Guest:He's incredible.
Guest:I just... The first time I met him...
Guest:it was our first table read of the first episode and i remember he was like in the greeting line when we were all walking in and i was like okay all right just act cool just act cool yeah you know and i walk up to him and i'm like hi hi hi kevin so nice to meet you i'm my name's constance zimmer and before i could get out my last name he's like i know who you are
Guest:I was like, okay.
Guest:And then I just didn't know what else to say.
Guest:I was like, well, there went my bit.
Marc:Was it mean or was it?
Guest:No, it was just kind of like, I mean, he was just, he doesn't, he's not, he is not mean.
Guest:He is so present and just in your face and eye contact that it's this, his confidence that is
Guest:might seem terrifying because it's just there and it's so on the surface.
Guest:And I just, that was all, I didn't know what else to say after that.
Guest:I had nothing else to say.
Marc:When, when you do scenes with him, like, is he one of the actors where you're like, holy shit, this is like, you know, this is great.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, 100%.
Marc:100%.
Marc:When you train to be an actor, like at Pasadena or at the Art Academy, or what was it?
Guest:American Academy of Dramatic Arts.
Marc:The American Academy of Dramatic Arts.
Marc:The AADA.
Marc:So are all the skills that you have now outside of just experience?
Marc:I mean, did you learn anything there?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You know, the American Academy was like a fame school.
Guest:And it was the type of school where you go and you learn everything at once.
Guest:You do Shakespeare, scene study, emotional training of how to cry on, you know, all this crap.
Guest:But it really, I think, was truthfully being in the business and auditioning and doing cold reading classes where I learned the most because I studied with this coach named Brian Reese, who was all about cold reading.
Guest:Because that's what you're bringing into a room is the sides they've given you.
Guest:And I will never forget the first thing he said when we had class was he said, I'm going to say something to all of you here and half of you are going to leave.
Guest:But the reality of this business is this.
Guest:They don't care where you're coming from, where you're going to, what your motivation is.
Guest:They care if they want you at their wrap party.
Guest:And there was all these like hands went up and they were like, that's, you know, that's bullshit.
Guest:I studied at Juilliard and, you know, I was at NYU and, you know, they do care.
Guest:And he said, all of that work and all of your education matters when you're on the set.
Guest:But when you walk into that room to audition, you better be likable because nobody wants to be on a set for three months with an asshole who's just happens to be talented.
Yeah.
Marc:Unless they're a big star.
Guest:Unless they're a big star, that's true.
Guest:Because there are a lot of assholes on sets, that's true.
Marc:Right?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So, outside of Kevin, who was like, have you worked with your heroes before?
Guest:Well, I would say also, I mean, working with David Fincher was, that to me was like, I did have a feeling of, all right, if this is it, if my career is done, I'm okay.
Marc:I'm good.
Marc:I'm good.
Marc:Well, what made him so amazing?
Marc:I mean like when you work with a director I mean like I I've seen directors work but I have no experience with film and I only have my own experience on my own TV show but like what is it what's so impressive or what makes it connect so deeply.
Guest:You know, none of us, I never knew David Fincher as a person.
Guest:I just knew him as a director and I knew he was incredible.
Guest:And you hear all these stories and you're terrified to meet him and then you meet him and he's the coolest person I've ever met.
Guest:And that connected with being somebody that's so talented.
Guest:And what he is, is he is so specific.
Guest:And I appreciate specificity so much because I told you, OCD.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But I mean, he like if he was in this room, every single tiny thing that is in this room would matter to him.
Guest:Even this like I don't even know what this is.
Guest:This is like one of those things for an Ikea cabinet.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:One of those wrenches.
Guest:What are those things called?
Guest:Alan Rich.
Guest:Alan Rich, thank you.
Guest:It would matter to him what the angle it was, where it was pointed.
Guest:He wants everything as real and as organic as possible to not seem like it's actors in a scene.
Guest:And that, to me, is...
Guest:It's hard to explain because some people hate that and some people love it.
Marc:But does he do that in the direction as well?
Marc:Like outside of set deck or the framing of something?
Guest:No, of course.
Guest:But he wants you to be as real as possible within the character you are playing.
Marc:But how do you get that?
Marc:I mean, he...
Guest:Well, he's been known to just break people down and to get that killed.
Guest:He'll he'll he'll he will do whatever it takes to get you while you're acting or to or pull you aside.
Guest:No, while you're in the scene.
Guest:That's always the best because then it's always on film.
Marc:Like cut.
Marc:Could you do it again?
Marc:But, you know, stop it.
Guest:yeah oh 100% yeah but I just you know you have to go in when you go I knew what to do with him as a director I knew that he just wants you to not act like just be like embody the character and which is very hard to do because I mean we're acting right it's kind of hard to explain I don't really know if I'm doing a good job of explaining it no I understand it but like it has to you also trust him right like
Guest:150%.
Guest:So if he says to me, you know, on this line, don't, you know, don't pick up your pencil, like just do it directly at her, never move your eyes, never change your facial structure, don't move your eyebrows.
Guest:You know, he's very specific.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:And he's like, you're moving your eyebrows.
Guest:Don't move your eyebrows.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:And so all of a sudden, you're concentrating on the fact that you don't want to move your eyebrows, that it's making you not concentrate on, quote unquote, acting.
Guest:Ah, clever.
Guest:Mm-hmm.
Guest:See?
Marc:He's clever like that.
Marc:Got tricks.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Good.
Marc:Well, I'm excited for you.
Marc:With all the things.
Marc:I can tell.
Marc:That are happening right now.
Marc:It's like June is Constance Zimmer month.
Yeah.
Guest:I know, that was very sweet.
Guest:A reporter said, I think we need to call this the summer of Zimmer.
Marc:I hope you get through it.
Marc:Appreciate it.
Marc:It was nice talking to you.
Guest:You did.
Marc:Did you have fun?
Marc:Was this all right?
Guest:Oh my God, it's the best.
Marc:All right, good.
Guest:I would do this every day.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Well, maybe we can make that happen.
Guest:We can make it like a weekly occurrence.
Guest:A week in the life of Constance Zimmer.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Maybe we should do the cameras.
Marc:Today I picked up poop.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:I do do that too.
Marc:That's not a great pitch.
Guest:It's not.
Guest:Hot girls picking up poop.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:That was one of my husband's idea for a book.
Guest:Because in New York, there's all these beautiful models and celebrities and they're all walking around and they're just picking up shit.
Marc:Well, when's that book happening?
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:We're going to make it happen.
Marc:Well, you just mentioned it out loud.
Marc:Someone's going to do it.
Marc:I wonder if there's a website.
Marc:We'll look in a minute.
Guest:We will.
Marc:All right, that's our show.
Marc:I love her.
Marc:I love you.
Marc:Thank you, Chicago, for your amazing night and the specials.
Marc:I think it's going to look great, and I couldn't have done it without you.
Marc:Okay?
Marc:Even the drunk lady and all the nice people.
Marc:I'm trying to stay open-hearted to everybody.
Marc:Please go to WTFPod.com slash calendar to hook up with tickets in Red Bank, New Jersey, Huntington, New York, Port Chester, New York, the BAM Opera House, Boulder, Denver, Portland, Oregon, two shows.
Marc:So do that.
Marc:Come see me.
Marc:I'm going to stay funny throughout this tour even though I did this special.
Marc:Even though I did it.
Marc:I can't make any guitar noises.
Marc:Though in Cleveland all the Earthquaker people came.
Marc:All the pedal nerds came to my show.
Marc:Like ten of them.
Marc:The makers of those things.
Guest:Boomer lives!