Episode 53 - All-Star Super Show

Episode 53 • Released March 7, 2010 • Speakers detected

00:00:00Guest 7:Lock the gates!

00:00:07Marc:Are we doing this?

00:00:08Marc:Really?

00:00:08Marc:Wait for it.

00:00:09Marc:Are we doing this?

00:00:10Marc:Wait for it.

00:00:12Marc:Pow!

00:00:12Marc:What the fuck?

00:00:14Marc:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?

00:00:16Marc:What's wrong with me?

00:00:17Marc:It's time for WTF!

00:00:19Guest 3:What the fuck?

00:00:20Guest 3:With Mark Maron.

00:00:24Marc:Okay, let's do this.

00:00:44Marc:A little Jack, a little Green, some Greenbacks, some Benjamins.

00:00:48Marc:I don't even know what the slang is.

00:00:50Marc:You guys have been listening to this for a long time.

00:00:52Marc:You guys are WTF fans.

00:00:54Marc:You are the people that enjoy what I do.

00:00:57Marc:We have now over 50 episodes of WTF available to you.

00:01:01Marc:We now have hours, literally 40.

00:01:04Marc:50 hours plus of wonderful free entertainment that I honestly love putting out.

00:01:10Marc:I've never done anything in my life that has been more rewarding than providing this stuff for you and doing the podcast.

00:01:16Marc:Now, we're coming to a juncture in this undertaking, in this noble experiment, Brendan and I, my partner and producer, where we...

00:01:24Marc:We don't know what to do exactly because we are putting a lot of work into this and we do love it.

00:01:28Marc:And I think it's some of the best work we've ever done.

00:01:30Marc:But we would like to make a living in doing this.

00:01:34Marc:And there's only a couple of options in terms of doing that.

00:01:39Marc:One option is we close down the freebies.

00:01:42Marc:We start charging per episode.

00:01:45Marc:We draw you to a site where you pay money and you get a season or an episode and a password.

00:01:51Marc:And that's how it goes.

00:01:53Marc:And I don't really want to do that.

00:01:55Marc:Why?

00:01:55Marc:Because certainly I'm sure a lot of you would would stay on board, but a lot of people wouldn't.

00:02:00Marc:And I like having this available to everybody because I like it when everybody can get something they want, whether they have money or they don't.

00:02:07Marc:So what we are doing instead is something similar to, say, an NPR or public radio.

00:02:14Marc:What we'd really like to do is sort of get you to subscribe or donate money in order to get the podcast and also to keep it available to everyone.

00:02:22Marc:And in order to do that, I'm going to offer you some presents.

00:02:25Marc:Not only during this show am I going to start calling a lot of my friends who have not been on the show to tell me that they're going to be on the show and have a conversation with them.

00:02:35Marc:I've got a list here.

00:02:36Marc:I don't want to go into it because I really don't know who's going to pick up and who isn't.

00:02:39Marc:Eugene Merman is going to come in in a few minutes, and we're going to have him hang out and talk to him a bit.

00:02:44Marc:But what I really want to do is you always have the option to donate money at WTFPod.com, any amount you want, whatever is easy for you.

00:02:52Marc:And that's great.

00:02:53Marc:I really appreciate all your support.

00:02:55Marc:And I swear to you, when I get an intern, I'm going to send you all a thank you note.

00:02:59Marc:But now we also have the option to do a $10 a month rolling subscription style donation.

00:03:04Marc:And with that, I send you a WTF t-shirt and some stickers and a nice thank you note.

00:03:10Marc:And now we're offering another option.

00:03:12Marc:This is a super-duper premium option for you people that really mean business.

00:03:16Marc:A $250 one-time donation will get you two T-shirts, a WTF T-shirt and a Nerdcock T-shirt, three Marc Maron CDs.

00:03:28Marc:That's right, not sold out, tickets still available, final engagement, the trilogy.

00:03:32Marc:That's yours.

00:03:34Marc:And this is the exciting part.

00:03:36Marc:We have put together a greatest hits of WTF volume one with some original material that you have not heard before.

00:03:44Marc:And that is available to you if you do the two hundred and fifty dollar one time donation as a very special premium.

00:03:51Marc:It's funny, too.

00:03:52Marc:We did all kinds of special stuff for that.

00:03:53Marc:So that's the score.

00:03:55Marc:I hope you don't mind.

00:03:56Marc:Take care of all of that at WTFPod.com.

00:03:58Marc:And I want you to keep listening to this because I've got a big list of people that I'm going to call.

00:04:03Marc:And Eugene is always funny.

00:04:05Marc:And that's coming up now.

00:04:32Guest 6:Hi, this is Louis Black.

00:04:33Guest 6:Leave a message after the beep.

00:04:37Marc:Louis, it's Marc Maron.

00:04:40Marc:I was calling to talk to you about coming on my show and about other things.

00:04:48Marc:Call me back.

00:04:50Marc:Okay.

00:04:53Guest 11:Hi, thanks for calling, but I can't talk right now, so leave a message with your phone number, and I'll call you back as soon as I can.

00:05:00Guest 11:Thank you once again.

00:05:01Guest 11:Goodbye.

00:05:03Marc:Louie, Louie CK, Mark Maron from the old days.

00:05:08Marc:How you doing, man?

00:05:10Marc:I've emailed you a few times and I texted you and stuff.

00:05:14Marc:I know you're busy, but I really want you to come on my show.

00:05:17Marc:I mean, just on the phone for a few minutes to talk about you coming on my show.

00:05:22Marc:So call me back because I'm probably going to call you throughout the day.

00:05:26Marc:I figured I'd just go ahead and

00:05:28Marc:and bother you until you pick up your phone and talk to me about coming on my show.

00:05:34Marc:Does that sound reasonable?

00:05:35Marc:All right.

00:05:36Marc:I love you.

00:05:36Marc:I hope you're well.

00:05:37Marc:Bye-bye.

00:05:42Guest 6:Thank you for calling Hilton Gardner.

00:05:44Guest 6:This is Andy and my sister go.

00:05:45Marc:Yeah.

00:05:45Marc:Can I get room 603, please?

00:05:49Marc:Okay.

00:05:49Marc:I'll let him know.

00:05:51Marc:He'll let me know.

00:05:55Marc:Hello?

00:05:56Marc:Greg Giraldo.

00:05:57Marc:Hey, what's up, man?

00:05:58Marc:Is the phone in your mouth?

00:06:01Marc:In my mouth?

00:06:02Marc:Yeah, it's a little... It's loud?

00:06:05Marc:Yeah, a little distorted.

00:06:06Marc:Do you have any control over that?

00:06:09Guest 10:I think maybe at the point of manufacture, it could have helped...

00:06:12Guest 10:But at this point, I think what's done is done.

00:06:14Guest 10:Do you want to call me on my cell?

00:06:15Marc:No, no.

00:06:16Marc:It seems better now.

00:06:17Marc:It seems better now.

00:06:18Marc:Oh, yeah?

00:06:19Marc:I just called the hotel, and the guy answered.

00:06:21Marc:I said, can I get your room number?

00:06:24Marc:And he goes, I'll let him know.

00:06:27Marc:What does that even mean?

00:06:29Marc:Did you get another call where he said, listen, there's a guy calling you?

00:06:33Guest 10:Yeah, I told him just to let me know when people are trying to reach me, but I don't actually like to communicate with anyone.

00:06:39Marc:Oh, I thought you said, just giving me a heads up, I got a call coming in.

00:06:43Marc:Let me know if anyone calls.

00:06:46Marc:Where are you, dude?

00:06:47Guest 10:I'm in Nashville.

00:06:49Marc:Oh, really?

00:06:49Guest 10:Yeah.

00:06:50Guest 10:How is it?

00:06:52Guest 10:It's pretty good, actually.

00:06:54Guest 10:I mean, you know, it's the same as every other place.

00:06:56Guest 10:Wow, that doesn't sound jaded.

00:06:58Guest 10:You know, I don't have a car.

00:06:59Guest 10:I'm here by myself.

00:07:00Guest 10:The hotel's a little isolated, but it's fine.

00:07:04Marc:Is there things to do in Nashville?

00:07:06Marc:Can't you go to the Grand Ole Opry or the Country Music Hall of Fame?

00:07:09Marc:You can the first three times you come to Nashville.

00:07:14Guest 10:I've kind of tapped that all out a little bit.

00:07:16Guest 10:There's great music, which...

00:07:18Guest 10:I do like to go see when I can, but try to stay out of some of those places at night.

00:07:23Guest 10:I was going to go today during the day with this girl who was going to come with me, but you know how that plays out.

00:07:32Marc:Then all of a sudden you have a girl with you for the week that you don't want with you.

00:07:36Guest 10:No, she was going to come.

00:07:37Guest 10:It's not a local girl.

00:07:38Guest 10:It's just somebody I've been seeing, and she was going to come, but then we ended up...

00:07:42Guest 10:So I'm right in the middle of all that, so you can imagine my mood.

00:07:46Marc:I'm glad that the guy let you know I called and you took the call.

00:07:49Marc:Maybe give you a little diversion from the nightmare of whatever's going on.

00:07:54Guest 10:Yeah, well, I'm glad he did, too.

00:07:55Guest 10:I wish he...

00:07:57Guest 10:I wish he had just taken her call in a similar fashion.

00:08:03Guest 10:She's not really good at who he chooses to scream, apparently.

00:08:06Guest 10:I've got to go down there and give the front desk a good stern talk.

00:08:10Marc:Listen, here's the difference.

00:08:12Marc:If a woman calls, especially the one that's been calling, don't put it through.

00:08:17Guest 10:No, if you hear a distraught, emotionally unstable woman calling,

00:08:22Guest 10:that's the one you want to just kind of scream.

00:08:25Guest 10:If you hear it like a dude that sounds like an old friend of mine, that one you could go ahead and just patch on it.

00:08:30Marc:So at some point, we're going to have to get you on the show so we can do the one-on-one thing.

00:08:38Guest 10:Yeah, I'd love that.

00:08:39Marc:So you were in L.A.

00:08:41Marc:for like, what was it, like a half an hour?

00:08:43Guest 10:Yeah, I got to start.

00:08:45Guest 10:You know, I'm just so used to like when I'm in L.A.

00:08:47Guest 10:to just turn around and head right back to New York as fast as possible, mainly because you're always doing something speculative and just fucking wasting time.

00:08:53Marc:But I always enjoyed the texts or the phone calls.

00:08:56Marc:You know, there was a series of phone calls where it's like you said, I was just talking to you and I saw your name on the comedy store.

00:09:05Marc:What are the chances of that?

00:09:06Guest 10:Well, that was a bizarre series of coincidences.

00:09:08Marc:What was that?

00:09:09Guest 10:Your name came up about four times in three minutes, and the podcast came up with unrelated people for unrelated reasons.

00:09:15Guest 10:And then as I'm talking about you, you drive by on your name on the marquee at the store.

00:09:19Guest 10:That was a very intensive Marc Maron day.

00:09:23Marc:And the weird thing was is that none of that led you to actually hang out with me.

00:09:27Guest 10:To actually see you.

00:09:27Guest 10:No, no.

00:09:28Guest 10:I felt like I'd only ruin it.

00:09:30Guest 10:At that point, we've taken it as far as it can go.

00:09:32Guest 10:The moment was perfect.

00:09:34Marc:Then I get these texts from you.

00:09:35Marc:It's like, are you going to be anywhere around the intersection?

00:09:41Guest 10:You know what?

00:09:42Guest 10:I really have to stop doing that kind of shit because that's what I do when I go to L.A.

00:09:45Guest 10:I have so many friends and people in L.A.

00:09:47Guest 10:and I forget.

00:09:49Guest 10:And then like, you know, I don't even think of it as like, I just think of it as a workplace.

00:09:53Guest 10:I feel like I'm going to my office to do something.

00:09:54Guest 10:And then I get there, I fly there, I do it.

00:09:56Guest 10:And then it's like the daytime and it's nice and it's sunny and I'm driving around.

00:09:59Guest 10:I go, oh shit, I should call one of my friends.

00:10:01Guest 10:This is the place where people live.

00:10:02Guest 10:There are houses here.

00:10:03Guest 10:I have people, I know people here.

00:10:04Guest 10:And I call them and I'm like, fuck, I have four hours to get to my flight.

00:10:07Marc:yeah it's kind of a it's a very obnoxious move on my part you know I gotta be on a plane in four hours I'm driving by Vine and Sunset are you yeah can you swing by are you there can I see you if I look down I'm gonna slow down and wave yeah like my presence is so important in people's lives are you gonna be out in LA soon or no

00:10:25Guest 10:You know, I'm actually one of the judges on Last Comic Standing, so I'm going to be out there, apparently.

00:10:32Guest 10:There's a lot of comics trying to stand up.

00:10:35Guest 10:So you got that?

00:10:36Marc:How did you get that gig?

00:10:37Marc:I really don't know.

00:10:38Marc:Is that something you win as well?

00:10:40Guest 10:I auditioned.

00:10:44Guest 10:It's a long... Yeah, the last comic standing, Judge Standing.

00:10:48Marc:Do you have to be like Simon and comment?

00:10:50Marc:I don't know.

00:10:50Marc:I've never watched it.

00:10:51Guest 10:Well, you know, I initially thought that might be what they would have wanted, although...

00:10:55Guest 10:You know, I'm not going to try.

00:10:57Guest 10:The problem is, I don't know who the fuck's going to be.

00:10:59Guest 10:You know, it's an awful gig, but as far as whoring yourself goes, it could be worse, you know?

00:11:03Guest 10:I mean, it's just to sit there and say something.

00:11:05Guest 10:They can't force me to be an asshole to people.

00:11:07Guest 10:I mean, I'm sure inside, I'll think that everybody I see blows, but I'll keep that to myself.

00:11:11Guest 4:Right.

00:11:12Guest 10:And actually, Kindler, I think, is one of the other judges, so I don't think that they're really looking for...

00:11:17Marc:Oh, my God.

00:11:17Marc:They want you guys to beat up.

00:11:19Guest 10:I guess so.

00:11:20Guest 10:Yeah, I mean, I don't think they're looking for me necessarily to be the only guy.

00:11:22Guest 10:So we'll see.

00:11:23Guest 10:I mean, obviously, it's going to depend on my mood.

00:11:26Marc:Well, that's good.

00:11:26Marc:I think that's a good way to live your life.

00:11:28Guest 10:I mean, the fucked up thing is all the comics, you know, everybody sucks.

00:11:31Guest 10:So what am I going to say about...

00:11:33Guest 10:A bunch of brand new people.

00:11:34Guest 10:Although I guess I haven't seen in years.

00:11:36Guest 10:I'm told like reasonable people have been doing it.

00:11:38Marc:Yeah, I don't watch it.

00:11:40Marc:I have a hard time with the whole idea.

00:11:41Guest 10:I like the whole concept.

00:11:43Guest 10:I think everything should be done competitively like that.

00:11:45Marc:Yes, everyone should be able to win a career for a few months.

00:11:49Marc:All right, buddy.

00:11:49Marc:Well, call me when you're out there.

00:11:50Marc:I will.

00:11:51Marc:All right, Mark.

00:11:51Marc:Thanks.

00:11:52Bye.

00:11:56Guest 12:Hello?

00:11:57Marc:Jim Norton.

00:11:58Guest 12:Hey, Mark.

00:11:58Guest 12:How you doing, man?

00:11:59Marc:I'm fine, man.

00:12:00Marc:Where you been?

00:12:02Guest 12:I've been on the road.

00:12:02Guest 12:I just got back from Cleveland, and now I'm just in New York doing nothing.

00:12:06Marc:I just want to tell you, because I know you know me for a long time, but I don't know if you're listening to WTF, but I actually had a porn star on.

00:12:13Marc:Who'd you have?

00:12:14Marc:Dana D'Armond.

00:12:15Guest 12:I don't know her.

00:12:16Guest 12:What's her thing?

00:12:17Guest 12:What's her specialty?

00:12:18Marc:It seems to be women and anal.

00:12:21Guest 12:Oh, nice.

00:12:22Guest 12:Well, she really mixes it up.

00:12:24Marc:What a good girl.

00:12:25Marc:But it's so funny because when I do an interview like that, because it's not about the political correctness or anything else.

00:12:31Marc:I just don't live in that world.

00:12:32Marc:So I'm talking to her like I'm 12.

00:12:35Guest 12:Well, it really is a weird thing when you talk to a porn girl because you don't know what to ask, what's considered insulting.

00:12:40Guest 12:You call her a porn girl.

00:12:41Guest 12:They really do have their own level of what is appropriate and what is not.

00:12:45Marc:Yeah, but I have such a hard time accepting the fact.

00:12:47Marc:I would say that you celebrate porn.

00:12:49Marc:Am I right?

00:12:50Guest 12:I do like it.

00:12:52Guest 12:I prefer the older stuff because it had storylines.

00:12:54Guest 4:And hair?

00:12:55Guest 12:I don't know.

00:12:56Guest 12:I don't like the hair.

00:12:57Guest 12:I hate the hair.

00:12:58Guest 12:That always dates it.

00:12:59Guest 12:It's like a big phone in an old movie.

00:13:02Guest 12:It's like when you watch Wall Street.

00:13:05Guest 12:When Gordon Gekko's on the beach with that giant phone, it kind of takes you out of it.

00:13:08Guest 12:That's what hair on the vagina does.

00:13:10Guest 12:It kind of just dates your porno.

00:13:11Guest 12:But I prefer the storylines of the old days, but I like the way the girls look now.

00:13:15Marc:Yeah, well, I tried to handle it as well as possible.

00:13:18Marc:I have to admit I was a little nervous, only because I'm not as shameless about porn as some people.

00:13:27Guest 12:You know who does a good interview and who's probably my personal favorite?

00:13:31Guest 12:Belladonna.

00:13:31Guest 12:Have you ever watched her stuff?

00:13:32Marc:I only do free porn sites for a few minutes at a time.

00:13:37Guest 12:Oh, dude, look her up.

00:13:38Guest 12:She's as dirty as you can get.

00:13:40Guest 12:She rules.

00:13:43Marc:So you've been doing all right?

00:13:45Guest 12:Yeah, man.

00:13:45Guest 12:I've just been doing gigs and doing radio myself.

00:13:48Guest 12:You know how it is, man.

00:13:49Guest 12:It's like things are really good and you're really busy, and then you're just doing a few gigs and you've got nothing going on.

00:13:53Guest 12:So I don't know what I'm doing next.

00:13:55Guest 12:I've got an audition Tuesday.

00:13:57Guest 12:And aside from that, I have nothing.

00:13:58Guest 12:I don't know when I'm going to be back on Leno, hopefully when he comes back on The Tonight Show.

00:14:02Marc:How many of those did you do for that show?

00:14:04Guest 12:I think for Jay, when he had his own show, I think I did 10.

00:14:07Guest 12:I did five of my own segment and five of that panel thing called the Who Cares What They Think.

00:14:14Guest 12:That was fun, man.

00:14:15Guest 12:We just kind of just rip on topics, but it was at the end of the show.

00:14:18Marc:Now, when you go on an audition, what do you usually get sent out for?

00:14:20Guest 12:It's hard to say.

00:14:22Guest 12:I mean, the more I've been doing this, like over the years, it's kind of more things that I would be right for.

00:14:26Guest 12:But they still sent me a lot.

00:14:28Guest 12:You want to tell me lousy?

00:14:30Guest 12:What's that Alec Baldwin movie with Meryl Streep?

00:14:32Marc:It's complicated.

00:14:33Guest 12:I went out and auditioned for the hotel doctor.

00:14:36Guest 12:I was embarrassed.

00:14:38Guest 12:I was so bad on this audition.

00:14:40Guest 12:It was like for an older guy, and I'm trying to be casual and fun.

00:14:43Guest 12:I sucked so badly that I tripped over a line, and I said to the casting director, hey, can we go back and redo that?

00:14:49Guest 12:And she goes, I don't know.

00:14:50Guest 12:I'll just piece it together at the end.

00:14:51Guest 12:I'm good at that.

00:14:52Guest 12:I was so bad she wouldn't give me the courtesy of redoing the line.

00:14:55Guest 12:And I didn't blame her.

00:14:56Guest 12:I stunk, and I was a waste of her time.

00:14:59Guest 12:So I really, there's nothing specific, but usually it's for things I'm kind of right for, so when I don't get them, it really is my fault.

00:15:04Marc:Like what would that, what's an example of that?

00:15:06Guest 12:You know, just a guy, like I'm going out for one about a guy who's kind of involved in a kidnapping and he's got like aggressive dialogue, short aggressive dialogue.

00:15:16Guest 12:You know, no more than like four lines at a time.

00:15:18Guest 12:Those are perfect for me.

00:15:19Guest 12:Anything that's kind of aggressive with a kind of a shitty attitude.

00:15:22Marc:And your love life is alright?

00:15:23Marc:Everybody's good?

00:15:24Guest 12:Yeah, it's decent.

00:15:25Guest 12:I mean, I'm dating somebody for a while now, which is kind of nice.

00:15:30Guest 12:I was single for a long time and, you know, being single sucks.

00:15:34Guest 12:When I was single again,

00:15:35Guest 12:And I was like on Craigslist again.

00:15:36Guest 12:And of course I started looking at the hookers again.

00:15:38Guest 12:And it was like, it was the same thing.

00:15:40Guest 12:I literally would have prostitutes say, yeah, I'll be there at 1130.

00:15:42Guest 12:And they don't come.

00:15:44Guest 12:It's like, you ever have a, I swear to God, hookers will stand you up sometimes.

00:15:47Guest 12:So it reminded me that I'm not missing anything by not being single.

00:15:51Marc:You're about to say, you ever had that happen?

00:15:54Marc:You realize, yeah, Mark, he probably hasn't had that happen.

00:15:56Guest 12:Yeah, I know.

00:15:57Guest 12:You really don't need that.

00:15:58Guest 12:You get it on your own, but I really do.

00:16:00Guest 12:I've had the process to stand me up before, and it's not a personal thing.

00:16:03Guest 12:It's like they get somebody, like if you're calling a girl from the Lower East Side to come to the Upper West Side, and she gets somebody, say, down in the village for the same price, she's not going to make the trip.

00:16:10Marc:Well, shit, man, I miss you.

00:16:12Marc:I miss you too, buddy.

00:16:13Marc:Say hi to ONA for me, and maybe I'm going to come back in the last week of April because I'm doing one live WTF taping at Comics, and I'll shoot you the date.

00:16:23Marc:And if you're open, maybe you come down for 15 minutes.

00:16:26Marc:I'd love that.

00:16:26Marc:I really would.

00:16:27Marc:Thanks, Jim Norton.

00:16:28Marc:Anytime, Mark.

00:16:28Marc:Take care.

00:16:31Guest 6:Hi, this is Louis Black.

00:16:32Guest 6:Leave a message after the beep.

00:16:35Marc:Okay.

00:16:37Marc:Now I feel like I'm being irritating.

00:16:40Marc:But I do want you to know that I'm recording all of these calls to your machine.

00:16:45Marc:It's Marc Maron.

00:16:47Marc:And you can call me on my phone.

00:16:50Marc:I hope you're well.

00:16:51Marc:And God bless.

00:16:55Marc:Okay.

00:16:56Marc:Louis Black.

00:17:00Guest 11:Hi, I'm calling, but I can't talk right now, so leave a message with your phone number, and I'll call you back as soon as I can.

00:17:07Guest 11:Thank you once again.

00:17:09Guest 11:Goodbye.

00:17:11Marc:Hi, Lou, it's Mark, and I genuinely feel like I'm annoying you now.

00:17:18Marc:I feel like I've become that guy that's annoying for my own selfish reasons.

00:17:25Marc:But it doesn't seem to be stopping me.

00:17:28Marc:Hope everything's going well.

00:17:29Marc:And hope we can get you on the show at some point.

00:17:34Marc:Okay, it's your old friend Mark.

00:17:36Marc:Marin.

00:17:38Guest 4:Okay.

00:17:51Marc:So here we are, folks.

00:17:52Marc:I know that you're listening to this and you're saying, wow, I mean, what's Mark going to do next on this sort of thinly veiled plea for money?

00:18:01Marc:And I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

00:18:03Marc:I'm going to bring my friend Eugene Merman in to the studio to talk to him about how wonderful I am.

00:18:09Marc:Mark is really great.

00:18:11Marc:Thank you, Eugene.

00:18:12Marc:All right.

00:18:12Marc:That was Eugene Merman, ladies and gentlemen.

00:18:14Marc:Good night.

00:18:17Guest 3:All right.

00:18:18Guest 3:Are you still here?

00:18:18Guest 3:I am.

00:18:19Guest 3:I haven't left.

00:18:20Guest 3:I was going to tell people that they should subscribe every month.

00:18:25Guest 3:You're like an electric bill, but to the soul.

00:18:27Guest 3:Oh, that should be a t-shirt.

00:18:31Guest 3:Holy shit.

00:18:31Guest 3:Why am I not a poet?

00:18:32Guest 3:Why did I do this?

00:18:33Marc:You are a poet, Eugene.

00:18:34Marc:I think that's the thing we share, and that's why we like each other.

00:18:37Marc:I did a show with you last night that it was your event.

00:18:41Marc:You are the P.T.

00:18:42Marc:Barnum of Brooklyn.

00:18:43Marc:Yes.

00:18:43Marc:Which got a little bit of a laugh, but right away I got out there.

00:18:46Marc:I mentioned you being the P.T.

00:18:47Marc:Barnum and people went, I don't know.

00:18:50Marc:And then I did what I did.

00:18:51Guest 3:But when I brought them out a fish that I sewed onto a monkey bottom, they were like, it really is.

00:18:57Guest 3:That's a very accurate analogy.

00:18:59Marc:I think that's what you do.

00:19:00Marc:You sew fishes onto monkey bottoms with your comedy.

00:19:02Guest 3:Exactly.

00:19:03Guest 3:Exactly.

00:19:03Marc:Oh, that's perfect.

00:19:04Guest 3:Yeah.

00:19:05Marc:Hey, but let's be honest.

00:19:07Marc:Let's.

00:19:07Marc:Okay.

00:19:08Guest 3:Yeah, enough lies.

00:19:08Marc:Yeah.

00:19:11Guest 3:Enough deceit.

00:19:12Marc:I get a little uncomfortable sometimes in a room full of hipsters, and I tend to struggle with them a bit on purpose because I feel that they need to have... Sometimes I find the hipster audience needs to... You need to take them by the scruff of the neck and put their nose in the poop that they made and then say, bad.

00:19:33Guest 3:Yeah, but did you go out into the audience?

00:19:35Guest 3:It's I think it's the I mean, it's like it's more hipster than I guess if it was just simply not in Brooklyn.

00:19:41Guest 3:Yeah, but it wasn't like it wasn't like a bunch of bands came to see us.

00:19:46Guest 3:Yeah, like a lot of it was, you know, 30 something just people.

00:19:51Guest 3:folks copywriters sure there weren't a lot of old fatties were there copywriters there did you just say copywriters i did say copywriters that was the job the go-to job you thought there were copywriters and perhaps people that had been paid to assassinate people there were there were some cia people some operatives there were cia people operatives grill cooks grill cooks there were a lot of grill cooks but there you know there weren't a lot of people who were like i own a bandana store yeah you know that was it wasn't

00:20:19Guest 3:That which would be very cool.

00:20:21Marc:Yeah.

00:20:21Marc:A bandana.

00:20:22Marc:I'm trying to kind of wrestle that into a stereotype in my head.

00:20:26Marc:Oh, that guy.

00:20:26Marc:Right.

00:20:27Marc:Sure.

00:20:27Marc:The bandana store owners of America.

00:20:29Guest 3:Well, that's that's a real hipster.

00:20:30Guest 3:But it would would be also part entrepreneur.

00:20:32Marc:Yeah.

00:20:33Marc:And a bandana store.

00:20:34Marc:No, I think if he had a store, though, it would just be like really cool picture frames, perhaps a few pairs of eyeglasses and shoes.

00:20:43Marc:And maybe an old poster.

00:20:45Guest 3:But I'm not trying to get off topic.

00:20:47Guest 3:I'm saying the audience wasn't necessarily all hipsters.

00:20:50Guest 3:But what I am saying is, yes, of course, you still tried to sabotage yourself.

00:20:53Marc:See, I think that what I do after I do something like that, where I clearly do something that I wrestle with an audience, I alienate them at the beginning, and then I get off stage and I realize, Mark, you're an entertainer, a clown, a buffoon, a jester.

00:21:06Marc:What did you do out there?

00:21:07Marc:And then I try to justify it as they needed that.

00:21:10Marc:They needed to look into a mirror where they couldn't get their hair right.

00:21:12Marc:They needed that from me.

00:21:14Marc:Do you understand?

00:21:15Marc:And so I try to justify it like that, but yet still, I don't feel good about it.

00:21:20Marc:It didn't make me feel good today.

00:21:21Guest 3:Do you ever walk out and see an audience and go, you know what?

00:21:24Guest 3:I think I'll make these people laugh as opposed to like, who wouldn't you hold up a mirror to?

00:21:30Guest 3:Who would you?

00:21:32Guest 3:Like, would you see an audience full of yourself and be like, okay, I'll just let them enjoy this day.

00:21:39Guest 3:I noticed something weird about the mall.

00:21:41Guest 3:Like, who is it that you always do that?

00:21:44Guest 3:That's what you are.

00:21:45Marc:Yeah, I'm not sure.

00:21:46Marc:It's great.

00:21:47Marc:Okay.

00:21:47Marc:All right.

00:21:47Marc:Thanks for qualifying it.

00:21:48Marc:I didn't know if that was coming at the end.

00:21:50Marc:But I think that...

00:21:53Guest 3:I'm letting you know that you're wonderful.

00:21:56Marc:Thank you.

00:21:57Guest 3:There's no way you tell yourself that.

00:21:58Marc:No.

00:21:59Marc:And I like being called wonderful because it's something like, you know, someone else called me that recently.

00:22:03Marc:And I don't really, really know quite how to take wonderful.

00:22:06Marc:Like, you know, I like, you know, sometimes I get the defensive has pretty funny, which I don't enjoy.

00:22:11Marc:And occasionally I get brilliant, which I never believe.

00:22:14Marc:But when someone throws a wonderful my way, I'm like, I feel like Disneyland.

00:22:18Marc:See?

00:22:18Marc:Yeah.

00:22:19Marc:Thank you.

00:22:19Marc:I feel like I feel like a fun park filled with rides.

00:22:22Guest 3:You are.

00:22:23Marc:I think the problem I had with the show last night, if I might say.

00:22:26Marc:Go on.

00:22:27Marc:Was that the, you know, I thought it was very fun that we were going to try to find chat roulette and find someone masturbating.

00:22:33Marc:But my heart immediately, not unlike if I were Christian thinking of Jesus, goes out to that guy alone, masturbating, looking for friends.

00:22:40Guest 1:Explain what it is.

00:22:41Marc:Chat roulette?

00:22:42Marc:I don't know what it is.

00:22:43Guest 3:It's just a website where random, you can chat with random people around the world.

00:22:46Guest 3:And often there's people jerking off.

00:22:48Marc:Well, I heard that most people are jerking off in there.

00:22:50Marc:It's just men waiting for women so they can jerk off.

00:22:52Guest 3:You know, I realized the mistake yesterday.

00:22:54Guest 3:I should have had a woman in front of the camera.

00:22:56Guest 3:I should have brought somebody on stage to just sit there, and then we would have succeeded.

00:22:59Guest 3:But nobody wants to jerk off to my sweet face.

00:23:02Guest 3:Right, but I think my question was... You shouldn't have agreed so easily to that, Mark.

00:23:07Marc:I think my issue with it was, is that... See, a lot of people think I'm callous, but most people who know me know that deep down I'm very sensitive.

00:23:15Marc:You are.

00:23:15Marc:And I have a lot of empathy.

00:23:16Marc:And my heart went out to the guy.

00:23:18Marc:You think that he's happy sitting there jerking off, waiting for someone to randomly show up?

00:23:22Guest 3:I think so.

00:23:23Guest 3:I think that's a guy who could do other stuff.

00:23:25Guest 3:I mean, are you telling me that...

00:23:27Guest 3:I'm saying no way to trick up but to chat roulette like that.

00:23:32Marc:Well, nobody wants to use their imagination anymore.

00:23:34Marc:But I'm just saying that that that guy.

00:23:36Guest 3:There's probably other.

00:23:38Guest 3:So I mean, there's got to be services like that.

00:23:40Guest 3:I don't know.

00:23:41Guest 3:There's got to be.

00:23:41Guest 3:I haven't looked into it a lot.

00:23:43Marc:Well, what if this would have happened?

00:23:45Marc:What if you were up there and you were looking for someone to jerk off with a room full of 300 people in the room looking to laugh at the poor guy jerking off on chat roulette?

00:23:53Marc:And it's Jesus.

00:23:55Guest 3:And it was Jesus jerking off?

00:23:56Guest 3:Yes.

00:23:57Guest 3:How would you have felt then?

00:23:58Guest 3:I would have felt like I exposed a great lie.

00:24:03Guest 3:I mean, I would have been like the best detective.

00:24:07Marc:You would have got some press for that.

00:24:08Guest 3:I would have definitely, yes.

00:24:10Guest 3:Wow.

00:24:11Guest 3:Eugene exposes Jesus.

00:24:13Guest 3:And that would be like the post headline.

00:24:16Marc:In front of 300 bearded people in Brooklyn.

00:24:18Guest 3:In front of 300 people who look like Jesus.

00:24:23Marc:Okay.

00:24:23Marc:Do you consider yourself a Dadaist?

00:24:25Guest 3:No.

00:24:28Guest 3:I would love to drag a toilet on stage and be like, this is a joke.

00:24:34Guest 3:Don't you do that?

00:24:35Guest 3:Sort of.

00:24:38Guest 3:But it would be so rich and full of history if I did that.

00:24:41Guest 3:It would be not what it was because I'd be referencing Dadaism, which would inherently make it not, you know, give it meaning.

00:24:50Marc:Yeah.

00:24:51Marc:Let's deconstruct one of my jokes now.

00:24:52Marc:Let's do it.

00:24:53Marc:All right.

00:24:54Marc:You know my Bukkake Circus joke, which I like a lot?

00:24:57Marc:Mm-hmm.

00:24:57Marc:I think I should put the Bukkake circus at the end.

00:25:00Marc:I decided the last night.

00:25:01Marc:Because once I say Bukkake circus, I get the big laugh, and then I describe it.

00:25:04Marc:And even though the ending might be a little surprising, you still sort of see it coming.

00:25:08Marc:I think that if I was just to do the joke, you know, where it's like a circus, it's animated, and it's a big top, it's a circus, and everyone's there to have fun, and the car comes out, and then all these clowns come out, and like 20 clowns get out of the car, and they jerk off on the car, and it's called Bukkake circus.

00:25:23Marc:That works as a punchline better.

00:25:24Marc:Right.

00:25:25Marc:But see, sometimes I say that, you know, that is not just a frivolous, dirty joke about jerking off clowns.

00:25:33Marc:Yeah, it's about feminism.

00:25:34Marc:It's about objectification.

00:25:36Marc:It's about pornography and the perils and cultural wrongs of pornography in that the car is an object.

00:25:43Marc:Not unlike women in pornography.

00:25:45Guest 3:Do you think people compartmentalize the car?

00:25:47Guest 3:It's an important joke is what I'm saying.

00:25:49Guest 3:Like they'll look at the tire.

00:25:51Guest 3:If the car is the woman, then like people think of the tires, the breasts.

00:25:54Marc:Yeah, no, I think it's more general.

00:25:55Marc:I think it's a broader statement.

00:25:57Marc:And then I say like it's a very important post-feminist joke because someone would be like, we're not objects.

00:26:05Marc:We're empowered with this come on our heads.

00:26:08Guest 3:Yeah.

00:26:08Marc:No, I just was wondering if I should put the punchline at the end.

00:26:11Guest 3:That's the question.

00:26:12Guest 3:We forgot the question.

00:26:13Guest 3:Yeah, I think we'll try it on stage.

00:26:16Marc:Let's try it on stage tonight, me and you.

00:26:18Marc:And I think you should twer with me just to do that joke.

00:26:20Marc:And every time I do the joke, you go, I don't know if it works better like that.

00:26:24Guest 3:Would I run out or would you like to be more the voice of God?

00:26:27Marc:No, I just like right when I start the joke, you just walk out on stage quietly and I'll have a second stool for you.

00:26:33Marc:And you sit on the stool and then I do the joke and you're like, I don't know, maybe try it the other way again.

00:26:38Guest 3:Or I miss and I go like, you're right, Mark.

00:26:41Guest 3:Women are like cars.

00:26:42Guest 3:Yeah.

00:26:43Guest 3:And I love cars.

00:26:44Guest 3:I love to drive them around.

00:26:49Guest 3:You're like, you're ruining my art.

00:26:51Marc:Well, we do do teamwork, you and I, when we're on the same show.

00:26:54Marc:Occasionally you'll laugh when no one else does and then get everyone else to laugh because you liked the joke, like last night.

00:27:00Marc:That was nice of you.

00:27:02Marc:Yeah.

00:27:02Marc:Like there was a tense moment and you did your laugh and everybody laughed with you because they're like, Eugene made it okay.

00:27:08Guest 3:Yeah.

00:27:09Guest 3:I'm sorry if I ruined the tension that you were trying to create.

00:27:12Guest 3:No, it helped me.

00:27:13Marc:It helped me because there was a point during that set where I'm like, I don't think I'm coming back from this.

00:27:17Guest 3:I know.

00:27:18Guest 3:I love it.

00:27:19Guest 3:I mean...

00:27:20Guest 3:I mean, I think, you know, I mean, that is what's exciting.

00:27:25Guest 3:I mean, about this show or watching you in general is you really don't know.

00:27:29Guest 3:You know, it's funny because I didn't want yesterday.

00:27:32Guest 3:I wanted to introduce you by saying because I think that there's like a lot of comics who will say like, oh, I don't know if the audience is ready for this.

00:27:38Guest 3:And I think that they're all wrong.

00:27:40Guest 3:But I think you're right.

00:27:41Guest 3:The audience isn't necessarily ready.

00:27:43Guest 3:But then I didn't want to set that expectation.

00:27:46Guest 3:Right.

00:27:46Guest 3:And I knew you'd do it anyway.

00:27:48Marc:Yeah.

00:27:48Marc:I don't do it always.

00:27:50Marc:I do it specifically in certain moments.

00:27:53Guest 1:Let me ask you, what was the difference then?

00:27:55Guest 1:Because I saw you do two shows in the last couple of days.

00:27:59Guest 1:And the one show, I would say, was a more hipster crowd.

00:28:03Guest 1:They were all standing up.

00:28:04Guest 1:There was an art thing hanging above your head.

00:28:07Guest 1:And that went really well.

00:28:08Guest 1:And last night, you wanted to fight everyone.

00:28:11Guest 1:So what was the difference?

00:28:12Yeah.

00:28:13Marc:Well, here's what happened, is that I'm backstage, okay, and I'm going last.

00:28:18Marc:I know I'm going last, and that's fine.

00:28:20Marc:You know, I was excited about it.

00:28:21Marc:And then I see the crowd, and it's packed, and that's good.

00:28:24Marc:I don't always love a packed house, especially with people standing in the back, because that means it's going to be hard to hold all of them.

00:28:29Marc:You know some people are going to be like, I don't know, I've got to wake up tomorrow.

00:28:33Marc:And then...

00:28:34Marc:And then, like, you go on, and then Michael Showalter goes on for a really long time.

00:28:40Marc:And, you know, I like Michael.

00:28:41Marc:We're okay, him and I. You know, we've hugged, and I care about his well-being.

00:28:46Marc:And then Kamau goes on.

00:28:47Marc:He kills because he's like, you know, he's in his pocket right now.

00:28:50Marc:You know, whatever he's doing right now, it's, you know, it's great.

00:28:53Marc:And I like him.

00:28:54Marc:Smart, funny, bang, bang, bang, Pakistani accent, a lot of references to his past.

00:28:59Marc:And then...

00:29:00Marc:And then Kristen Shaw goes on dressed as a whoopee cushion and doesn't draw attention to it.

00:29:06Guest 3:I mean, the bit was about it.

00:29:09Guest 3:She was a whoopee cushion.

00:29:10Guest 3:She doesn't draw attention to it by being like, you'll never guess what I'm wearing.

00:29:14Guest 3:But she is like, I'm a whoopee cushion.

00:29:16Guest 3:And I'm going to do a bit as a whoopee cushion.

00:29:18Marc:Right.

00:29:18Marc:And then you guys did a little thing together.

00:29:20Marc:And then I know I'm going on.

00:29:21Marc:There's a guy talking the whole show, which I had to address because he was bothering me.

00:29:25Marc:And then at some point, something came over me about the last time I was there.

00:29:29Marc:And I got out there and I just looked at them and like there are some I caught some look in someone's face or a couple of faces where it was just sort of like, what?

00:29:39Marc:And I reacted to that.

00:29:42Marc:So the difference was when I did the other show, I didn't sense any of that.

00:29:46Marc:What?

00:29:47Guest 1:But that was arguably a younger crowd and a crowd probably less familiar with your comedy.

00:29:53Marc:Right.

00:29:54Marc:And but they were also very there was they felt sweet to me.

00:29:58Marc:They were attentive and and they were also sort of like they seemed almost innocent.

00:30:05Guest 3:But what's hard to say is what comes first, the bitterness or the audience?

00:30:09Guest 3:Well, that's the eternal question.

00:30:11Guest 3:I mean, in the sense that you're like, it's true, the audience last night was probably older, probably less artists and more young professionals or whatever.

00:30:23Marc:Okay, I'll tell you what really happens is that I can tell in the first few minutes of being on stage whether or not I'm going to be able to open up as much as I want to.

00:30:32Guest 1:And you were very quiet in that show on Thursday night and very considered about everything you were saying.

00:30:38Marc:Right.

00:30:38Marc:Well, I think I did a little of that last night, but I never felt the comfort level that I felt in the smaller room.

00:30:43Marc:It might be a size of audiencing.

00:30:46Marc:I knew that I've been moving more towards being as true to my heart as possible and putting it out there.

00:30:54Marc:So when it's a big audience and the pressure was to be big, I know how to do that.

00:30:59Marc:But sometimes I don't know how to do it without being angry.

00:31:01Marc:And I was sort of angry that I couldn't open up more, but I chose to do it anyways.

00:31:04Marc:And oddly, the few jokes that I did about

00:31:07Marc:my current dating situation and, you know, and my former marriage and the sex jokes.

00:31:14Marc:They worked very well.

00:31:15Marc:Yeah.

00:31:15Guest 3:You had a very good set.

00:31:16Guest 3:I mean, I get that this is what goes through everybody's head.

00:31:19Guest 3:Like when you're, you know, if you're a comic, you're going like, you know, what's new and if it worked is what's important, like all this stuff.

00:31:25Guest 3:And I get the fears, but your set went very well.

00:31:28Guest 3:Like people laughed a lot.

00:31:29Guest 3:Yeah.

00:31:29Guest 3:They loved it.

00:31:30Marc:Yeah.

00:31:30Marc:And the high point was when I snapped,

00:31:32Marc:And started calling that community out on its shit.

00:31:35Marc:And then, you know, somehow or another was able to make fun of a guy who died on a luge sled.

00:31:40Marc:That that was very funny.

00:31:42Marc:Well, thank you.

00:31:43Marc:But so like once I got out of me, which also happened at that other room, like once I felt the comfort to sort of riff a bit, it was easier in there because there was art.

00:31:53Marc:I had more space.

00:31:55Guest 3:The truth is, it's the... I mean, it's not like I'm going to... Like the chat roulette thing I did yesterday.

00:32:00Guest 3:It's not like I'll ever do that again.

00:32:01Guest 3:The point of it was, it's this new thing, let's try it.

00:32:05Guest 3:And the reason there was sort of this patience in the audience was like, oh, what if it works?

00:32:08Guest 3:It'll be fun.

00:32:08Guest 3:No, no, that was great.

00:32:10Guest 3:But in that sense, like...

00:32:12Guest 3:But the amount, like, when it actually worked, like, the two times or something it worked, there was this insane thrill.

00:32:19Guest 3:Of the real.

00:32:19Guest 3:Of the real, of being in the present.

00:32:21Guest 3:You're making something up.

00:32:22Guest 3:So when you are in a small, intimate room, you know, making fun of, you know, the environment, like, joking around, like, yeah, people are so into it.

00:32:31Guest 3:And also... Same thing with yesterday.

00:32:32Guest 3:Like, all we're... Yeah, all you're saying is the stuff that you were most connected to along with...

00:32:37Marc:stuff in the room was what worked the best and the thing that like in my mind the one thing like i know i set the tone in all i think it's just a matter of expectation when you have a room filled with 300 people as opposed to a room filled with 60 uh you know who you the control issue becomes an issue that like it's a lot easier to manage 60 and where when you have when you have to play out to the back of the room i can make it intimate but choosing to shit on the one guy that liked me

00:33:02Marc:for yelling and calling him an alt douchebag, created a tension immediately.

00:33:07Marc:And then, you know, doing the Haiti jokes, maybe not the best opener.

00:33:11Marc:So, so always there's... So when you did that in LA, it was great.

00:33:14Marc:And you opened with that... But also a smaller crowd.

00:33:16Guest 1:Yeah, you opened with that on Wednesday night.

00:33:18Marc:I don't know whether or not I didn't sell it right or what, or whether they misunderstood it.

00:33:22Marc:Did you sense a difference in how I presented it?

00:33:24Guest 1:If, as an audience member, the big change was that you yelled at a person before you did it.

00:33:29Guest 1:That's the only thing I can come to is that then the joke came from a place of anger.

00:33:34Guest 1:Right.

00:33:35Guest 1:Rather than it was truly whimsical that you were holding benefits for yourself.

00:33:40Marc:But to me, the best part of that joke is that, you know, a whole generation of people only know Haiti as the earthquake place.

00:33:47Marc:To me, that says so much about American culture.

00:33:50Marc:Yeah.

00:33:50Marc:So...

00:33:51Marc:I think we got to the bottom.

00:33:53Marc:Do I need to apologize to that audience?

00:33:54Marc:Can you tweet them?

00:33:56Marc:No.

00:33:57Guest 3:Mark wants to say he's sorry.

00:33:59Guest 3:They know.

00:33:59Guest 1:Well, I should reiterate, I told you this, that when I was walking to the subway from the show, I walked past, you know, that's a fairly isolated venue, so everyone kind of migrates in the same direction.

00:34:13Guest 1:And so I knew I was walking past other audience members, and I hear one kid go, that guy was awesome.

00:34:19Guest 1:He hated everyone more than me.

00:34:23Marc:Well, that's the thing.

00:34:25Marc:And my friend Don said it differently is in that what I like to do, and this goes back to me going to the theater recently, is that I'd almost rather something happen than be funny.

00:34:38Guest 3:Well, you know, there's an excitement.

00:34:40Guest 3:I mean, there's an excitement to watching you.

00:34:41Guest 3:There's handfuls of comics who you genuinely don't know what will happen, like whether it's what they'll talk about or what weird thing they've orchestrated.

00:34:50Guest 3:Right.

00:34:50Guest 3:And that's exciting.

00:34:51Guest 3:Right.

00:34:52Guest 3:You know, and then also...

00:34:54Guest 3:When it hits, it has the potential to be this awesome thing.

00:34:57Guest 3:So I think that's something that you do, which is wonderful.

00:35:00Guest 3:And sure, it doesn't always work.

00:35:03Guest 3:But what's so much more exciting is that potential.

00:35:07Guest 3:The potential that what you do will work so well that it will be way beyond someone just having this sort of evenly pretty good set or whatever.

00:35:15Marc:And it just makes it real.

00:35:16Marc:You know, it's just the problem with that ultimately in the big arc of a career is that it's very inconsistent, which is why I love doing the podcast.

00:35:24Marc:See, on WTF, I can speak off the top of my brain or speak off the top of my head, you know, express my feelings intimately and thoroughly without any pauses or any real restrictions.

00:35:36Marc:And you get it.

00:35:37Marc:You've convinced me to subscribe.

00:35:40Marc:Ah, there you go.

00:35:41Marc:Subscriber, you can go to WTFPod and hit donate and you get a couple of options there.

00:35:45Marc:We've got a new option available.

00:35:48Marc:You can donate a flat rate.

00:35:50Marc:Is that the right word?

00:35:51Marc:One time donation of $250, which if you think about it, over 12 months is only whatever it is if you do the math.

00:35:58Marc:And what do you get?

00:35:59Marc:You get a what the fuck t-shirt.

00:36:01Marc:You get a nerd cock t-shirt.

00:36:02Marc:You get my three CDs and a very special premium of the best of what the fuck volume one.

00:36:09Marc:How do you like that?

00:36:10Guest 1:With additional bonus material on there that they've never heard before.

00:36:14Marc:Yeah, we're going to put the bonus material on there too.

00:36:18Guest 3:That sounds like too much stuff.

00:36:21Guest 3:And normally, the way you'd sell it is you'd describe most of it, and then you'd go like, but wait, we've also added.

00:36:28Marc:Okay, wait, let's try that.

00:36:30Marc:All right.

00:36:31Marc:So if you donate $250 in a one-time donation, you will get a what-the-fuck t-shirt, a nerd cock t-shirt, one of my CDs.

00:36:41Marc:You know what?

00:36:42Marc:Wait a minute.

00:36:43Marc:You know what?

00:36:44Marc:Let's make it two of my CDs.

00:36:46Marc:What do you think of that?

00:36:47Marc:Yeah.

00:36:48Marc:How many do you have total?

00:36:49Guest 3:Three.

00:36:49Guest 3:Let's do all three.

00:36:50Marc:All right.

00:36:51Marc:All right.

00:36:51Marc:So right now, for this deal only, all right, $250 one-time donation, a Nerdcock shirt, a What the Fuck t-shirt, all three of my CDs.

00:37:01Marc:I've got stickers, too.

00:37:02Marc:Should I?

00:37:03Marc:Yeah.

00:37:03Marc:I mean, they don't need them, but sure.

00:37:04Marc:Throw them in.

00:37:05Marc:All right.

00:37:05Marc:I'll send in some stickers.

00:37:07Marc:And you know what?

00:37:07Marc:We happen to have recorded a Best of What the Fuck volume one.

00:37:10Marc:We don't know what we're going to do with it.

00:37:12Guest 3:I don't know.

00:37:13Guest 3:I have a feeling you're going to send.

00:37:14Guest 3:You know what?

00:37:15Guest 3:Why don't you add bonus material and send it to them?

00:37:18Guest 3:You know what?

00:37:19Marc:I'm going to make it an exclusive.

00:37:20Marc:I'm only going to give this CD to people that give the $250 one-time donation.

00:37:26Marc:So think of that.

00:37:26Guest 1:Yeah, you were going to sell this on the streets.

00:37:29Guest 3:Yeah, like a new hip-hop act.

00:37:33Guest 3:Handing it out to people he thinks like hip-hop.

00:37:36Marc:Yeah, just go, hey, hey, hey, you like anger?

00:37:38Yeah.

00:37:38Guest 3:Do you like... Are you an anger fan?

00:37:42Guest 3:Years of frustration.

00:37:46Marc:Well, I might do that too, but you can get it now.

00:37:48Marc:First, $250, nerd cock shirt, what the fuck shirt, all three Marc Maron CDs, some stickers, yes, and the special best of what the fuck volume one with special additional material.

00:38:01Marc:How was that?

00:38:02Marc:I'm sold.

00:38:03Marc:All right, so give me some money.

00:38:05Marc:okay what do you hey what do you got going on huge like what kind of stuff am i up to yeah oh my god it's funny to think not in a timely way but like what's what's on the anvil when you go home what do you got up on the lift what do you what are you working your tools on

00:38:22Guest 3:I'm building a comedy career.

00:38:25Guest 3:Nice.

00:38:25Guest 3:With my comedy hammer.

00:38:27Guest 3:I'm going to do a voice on a show called Bob's Burgers.

00:38:31Guest 3:That's Lauren Bouchard.

00:38:32Guest 3:You remember Lauren Bouchard?

00:38:33Guest 3:I do.

00:38:34Guest 3:I think.

00:38:34Guest 3:He did Dr. Katz in Home Movies.

00:38:36Marc:Oh, yeah.

00:38:36Marc:I met him again in Los Angeles.

00:38:38Marc:Very nice guy.

00:38:39Marc:He asked me about Los Angeles in that way that people who don't live there usually ask you.

00:38:43Marc:Like, what about Los Angeles?

00:38:45Guest 3:Well, he just moved there because we're doing this new show for Fox with me and Kristen Schaal and John Benjamin.

00:38:52Guest 3:All the funny voices.

00:38:53Guest 3:Yeah, all the funny voice people.

00:38:55Guest 3:And we're making a new cartoon for Fox.

00:38:57Guest 3:So that's something I'm working on.

00:38:58Guest 3:So expect that one year from now.

00:39:00Guest 3:Awesome.

00:39:00Marc:Well, that's a good long tease.

00:39:03Guest 3:Yeah, check me out on Fox January 2011 or later.

00:39:09Guest 1:Well, the beauty of podcasts is people could be downloading this in December.

00:39:13Guest 3:It'll be on in a week.

00:39:14Guest 3:Premiering tonight.

00:39:16Guest 3:Bob's Burgers.

00:39:17Guest 3:Give a couple options.

00:39:18Guest 3:Yeah.

00:39:20Guest 3:Yeah, exactly.

00:39:21Guest 3:Do you need?

00:39:21Guest 3:Tomorrow night.

00:39:23Guest 3:On Fox.

00:39:24Guest 3:Before or after King of the Hill or the Simpsons.

00:39:28Marc:oh shit this is so fun we've got a special caller i can't wait to find out who hello john oliver hello hello mark how are you sir i'm not bad how are you i'm good i'm sitting here with eugene merman in a radio bunker and uh that sounds delightful yeah say hi eugene hello

00:39:49Guest 9:Hey, Eugene.

00:39:50Guest 9:How are you doing?

00:39:50Marc:Good.

00:39:51Marc:How are you?

00:39:51Guest 9:I'm fine, thank you.

00:39:52Marc:And I really appreciate you coming on the show specifically to talk about how great the show is.

00:39:58Guest 9:That's the aim of your show now.

00:40:04Guest 9:It's this particular one.

00:40:05Guest 9:It's going to be to pat itself on the back.

00:40:07Marc:That's right.

00:40:07Marc:You know, I'm calling you because you've been a guest on the show on the phone, and this is the second time you'll be on the phone with me.

00:40:14Marc:And a couple of things.

00:40:15Marc:I'd like to do a live interview with you when we have time.

00:40:18Marc:Would you like to do that?

00:40:20Marc:Yeah, that'd be great.

00:40:20Marc:Now, if you could, John, because you're an intelligent guy and you're from... We know that.

00:40:26Marc:Yeah.

00:40:26Marc:That's been proven over and over again.

00:40:28Marc:I mean, you just won't let up on that.

00:40:31Yeah.

00:40:31Marc:And I just thought that for someone of your stature to put my show in context culturally would be very helpful to the people that we're trying to get to donate money.

00:40:41Guest 9:I understand that.

00:40:42Guest 9:Now, let's not stop any short of saying that it is a vital public service that you are providing.

00:40:48Guest 3:Exactly.

00:40:49Guest 9:Thank you.

00:40:50Guest 9:The richest country on earth.

00:40:51Guest 3:How would you compare it to the fire department?

00:40:53Guest 3:Where would you say...

00:40:55Guest 9:Personally, I would say it's higher because I've not had any fires recently.

00:41:00Guest 9:So for me, it's more important than that.

00:41:03Marc:Well, I appreciate that.

00:41:04Marc:And I think that what I am doing, if I could toot my own horn, is I think I am a fireman of the mind.

00:41:13Guest 9:Really?

00:41:14Guest 9:Putting out fires.

00:41:15Guest 9:You don't think you're a fire starter of the mind, Mark.

00:41:18Guest 9:You think you're putting out flames rather than instigating them.

00:41:22Marc:That's the interesting thing about me, John, if I could again talk about myself, is that I do both.

00:41:29Marc:I'm the unique emotional disaster that will actually start a fire in the mind and then say, hey, I got some water.

00:41:36Marc:Are you in for that?

00:41:38Marc:Yeah.

00:41:38Guest 9:You're the classic arsonist hero.

00:41:41Marc:Right, exactly.

00:41:43Marc:And I think that people would pay for that.

00:41:46Marc:Arsonist hero Mark Maron.

00:41:50Guest 9:Richest country on earth, Mark.

00:41:52Guest 9:If this country cannot sustain your podcast, then I don't know what we're doing wrong.

00:41:58Marc:I think you're right.

00:41:59Marc:But I think that if that is the case, how do you think I would be received in England?

00:42:04Guest 9:Well, because we have things like universal health care.

00:42:06Guest 3:Right, because if I'm starting fires... Can we divert some of that money for Mark's podcast?

00:42:12Guest 9:I think that's what we do.

00:42:13Guest 9:We abandon universal healthcare, and instead we pick up Mark's podcast.

00:42:19Guest 3:Honestly, one person would have to die for Mark to have enough money.

00:42:22Guest 3:Just one operation doesn't happen.

00:42:24Guest 3:The money is given to Mark.

00:42:26Marc:It's not much to ask, is it?

00:42:27Marc:Well, maybe that's what we're asking here.

00:42:29Marc:I'm asking a citizen of the UK to give up their life.

00:42:35Marc:For me to continue doing WTF.

00:42:38Guest 9:So that's the appeal.

00:42:40Guest 9:To be honest, that is a much nicer appeal than Gauderly having to ask for money.

00:42:45Guest 9:Merely asking for one, just one, in the large scheme of things, not that many.

00:42:49Guest 9:One British citizen to give up their life.

00:42:52Marc:Right.

00:42:53Marc:And I think the sad thing is, knowing my fans, I might find someone willing to do that.

00:42:58Guest 9:That's right.

00:42:59Guest 9:You're going down a very dangerous road here.

00:43:01Marc:I am, but, you know, we have to somehow put the infrastructure in place for that fan whose wife will not be, you know, sacrificed in vain.

00:43:09Marc:It will not be.

00:43:10Marc:So, okay, let me just do this public service announcement.

00:43:14Marc:If you're out there, my British friend...

00:43:16Marc:Before you do whatever you're going to do to take your own life, please put something in place that would allot whatever is left of your savings and also whatever was going to be allotted to help you in your terminal condition of whatever that may be from the national health care plan there and send it to me.

00:43:36Marc:I have a lawyer.

00:43:37Marc:You can contact me at WTF pod at Gmail.

00:43:40Guest 9:I mean, if you don't get any response to that, then human compassion is truly dead.

00:43:45Marc:I agree with you.

00:43:46Marc:I agree with you.

00:43:47Guest 9:The only problem you might have is just a wave of bodies on your hands now.

00:43:52Guest 9:Just a deluge of British compassion.

00:43:55Guest 9:Let me be the one.

00:43:57Marc:Well, okay.

00:43:58Marc:Well, then if I can hopefully get some news coverage of that and they mention the podcast, I'm not sure I have a problem with that.

00:44:04Marc:They can't tie it to me.

00:44:05Marc:I mean, if I put that kind of plea out there and somebody does it, am I in any way responsible?

00:44:11Guest 3:I think on law and order you would be, but in real life, no.

00:44:14Guest 9:In real life, there's no way.

00:44:15Guest 9:You're not going to be responsible for basically a British version of that terrible movie to happening.

00:44:20Guest 9:There's lots of British bodies falling from the sky.

00:44:24Guest 9:That's an act of God.

00:44:26Guest 9:If that doesn't stand up in court, then again, the American judicial system has something to offer for.

00:44:30Marc:Yes, and I like it you brought God into it because I think that in some ways I am doing God's work.

00:44:37Guest 9:In some ways, I understand.

00:44:39Guest 9:You can't say that yourself.

00:44:40Guest 9:In all ways, you are doing God's work.

00:44:44Marc:Well, I will have you know, John, that your episode of WTF is very popular.

00:44:48Marc:It's number two as far as downloads go.

00:44:53Marc:Yeah, that's number two, which is not nothing, you know, number two.

00:44:56Guest 9:Who got number one?

00:44:57Marc:Harry Truman.

00:44:59Marc:Yeah.

00:45:02Marc:Number one was the first episode.

00:45:04Marc:And that's not by virtue of the fact that Jeff Ross was so much different or better than you.

00:45:08Marc:It's just by the fact that that's the first episode and people say, I'm going to try it.

00:45:14Marc:But mind you, a lot of people that tried the first episode did not stay on board until they got to your episode.

00:45:21Marc:And then people said, yeah.

00:45:23Guest 9:Well, you really are breaking the numbers down well there.

00:45:25Guest 3:Yeah, I'm not sure if that made sense.

00:45:28Guest 3:It made sense to me, but I don't know that listeners need to know.

00:45:31Guest 9:They don't need to see how the sausage is made, Mark.

00:45:33Marc:They don't?

00:45:34Marc:Then I'm out of work.

00:45:36Marc:That's all I do is make sausages and tell people about it.

00:45:39Marc:That's true.

00:45:40Guest 9:In real detail, describing every facet of a sausage.

00:45:43Marc:Yeah, the problem is I can't sell the fucking sausages.

00:45:46Marc:You know, I tell people how they're made, I give them all the ins and outs, and no one wants to buy the sausage.

00:45:51Guest 3:Have you not seen Mark's headshot where it says, Mark the Sausage Comic Marin?

00:45:55Guest 3:I have.

00:45:56Guest 9:I have seen it, and I love it.

00:45:58Marc:Yeah.

00:45:58Marc:It's my new tagline.

00:45:59Marc:I'm going to be like, I'm the guy that says, I'm making sausages here.

00:46:03Guest 3:I'm making mind sausage.

00:46:06Marc:Mind sausage.

00:46:08Guest 9:Let me walk you through my mental sausage.

00:46:11Marc:They can't handle the sausage maker.

00:46:13Guest 9:Too many sausages.

00:46:15Marc:All right, my friend.

00:46:16Marc:Have a good one.

00:46:16Marc:I'll talk to you soon.

00:46:18Guest 9:You too, mate.

00:46:19Guest 9:Bye-bye.

00:46:19Marc:Thanks, John.

00:46:20Marc:Eugene, thank you for stopping by and helping me with myself, with my show, and with generating spontaneous comedy.

00:46:29Marc:I always learn a lot with you.

00:46:31Marc:Me too.

00:46:32Marc:And I have a good time.

00:46:33Marc:I like you much more than you think I do.

00:46:35Marc:No, I think you like me.

00:46:37Guest 3:Not a lot.

00:46:38Guest 3:Sorry.

00:46:40Guest 3:But you've consistently liked me.

00:46:43Guest 3:In all honesty, I had a great time.

00:46:45Guest 3:Thanks for coming.

00:46:45Guest 3:Yeah, this was awesome.

00:46:46Guest 3:Thank you very much.

00:46:47Guest 3:I do hope it continues forever.

00:46:49Guest 3:Thank you.

00:46:49Guest 3:Sure.

00:46:50Guest 3:Okay.

00:46:50Guest 3:Bye-bye, everyone.

00:46:52Guest 3:Bye, Mark.

00:46:52Guest 3:Bye.

00:46:53Guest 3:Bye.

00:47:10Guest 5:Hello, we are not available now.

00:47:13Guest 5:We have a name and phone number after the beep.

00:47:16Guest 5:We will return your call.

00:47:19Marc:Hi, is this Zach Galifianakis' farm?

00:47:22Marc:This is Mark Maron calling from New York City, and I had ordered three bushels of apples, and...

00:47:32Marc:I don't know where they are.

00:47:33Marc:You know, I don't know how long you've been a farmer, but I was expecting these apples because I saw them in the catalog.

00:47:41Marc:And I wish you would call me back about my Apple order, Zach Galifianakis.

00:47:50Marc:All right, let's try a cell phone.

00:48:02Marc:I don't hear anything.

00:48:05Marc:Do you?

00:48:07Marc:Zach?

00:48:09Marc:Nothing.

00:48:10Marc:We're trying to contact Zach Galifianakis.

00:48:13Marc:I want him to come back on the show.

00:48:16Marc:And we called the farmhouse, but he didn't leave a funny message.

00:48:20Marc:I don't like when funny people don't leave funny messages.

00:48:22Marc:Or at least leave their own message.

00:48:28Marc:I feel a little fat.

00:48:30Marc:Been eating a lot.

00:48:33Marc:He might be out in the orchard or something.

00:48:36Marc:Why wouldn't he have a machine?

00:48:37Marc:It's definitely a phone.

00:48:42Marc:I mean, I would think that Zach would do something like this.

00:48:45Marc:Like maybe we should just wait for a beep.

00:48:51Marc:No beep.

00:48:52Marc:Let's call the farmhouse one more time.

00:49:02Marc:Hold on, I'll leave a message.

00:49:03Guest 5:Hello, we are not available now.

00:49:05Guest 5:Please leave your name and phone number after the beep.

00:49:09Guest 5:We will return your call.

00:49:12Marc:Zach, you sound exactly like the voice that comes with the machine.

00:49:17Marc:Hey, it's Mark Maron again.

00:49:19Marc:We were going to talk on the air, and I'm concerned now about your well-being because I called the cell phone, and it rang like four times, and then there was nothing.

00:49:31Marc:There was no beep.

00:49:32Marc:There was no message.

00:49:33Marc:There was just a quiet hiss.

00:49:39Marc:Are you okay, man?

00:49:40Marc:I can't leave a message on your cell phone because there seems to be something wrong with it, and I want my apples.

00:49:52Guest 7:Hello.

00:49:52Marc:Lewis Black.

00:49:54Guest 7:Mark Maron.

00:49:55Marc:You know, I'm sorry about those pestering phone calls because I think that maybe I made a mistake.

00:50:00Marc:I was supposed to call you another day.

00:50:02Guest 7:Well, it's two.

00:50:02Guest 7:We're both really good.

00:50:05Guest 7:You know, if we actually could organize anything, would we be doing what we're doing for

00:50:08Marc:living exactly and that's like you know as much as I criticize all the people that are involved in managing us one way or the other whether it be a publicist or manager an agent there were literally things like writing things down properly that I can't seem to fucking do right yeah my mother just sent me a book called checklist seriously all about how

00:50:28Guest 7:It's called the Checklist Manifesto and how it's changed the world.

00:50:34Marc:And can you summarize it for me?

00:50:36Marc:What do I need to do?

00:50:37Marc:Hold on.

00:50:38Marc:Let me make a checklist of what you're about to say.

00:50:40Guest 7:You're supposed to make a checklist.

00:50:42Guest 7:I haven't read it yet.

00:50:43Guest 7:I haven't put it on my list of things to do.

00:50:48Marc:I try to make checklists, but I tend to even, I don't know if you do this, but I complicate it even more for myself by writing things down on several different pieces of paper, some of them not even whole pieces of paper.

00:50:59Guest 7:Oh, absolutely.

00:51:00Guest 7:And then your desk is covered with like 95 pieces.

00:51:03Marc:Right.

00:51:04Marc:And there's this constant attempt at organizing things.

00:51:06Marc:And then I just, my way of organizing is neatening the stacks of cluttered paper.

00:51:11Guest 7:Exactly, because then you know where they are.

00:51:13Marc:Right.

00:51:14Guest 7:That's the way we organize.

00:51:15Marc:Exactly.

00:51:16Marc:And I also write quickly and in a cursive that I, on many occasions, can't read.

00:51:22Guest 7:Oh, no, that I'm really good at.

00:51:24Marc:Oh, really?

00:51:25Marc:You write things you can read?

00:51:26Guest 7:No, no.

00:51:28Guest 7:Some things I can read and some things it's called...

00:51:30Guest 7:Kip, and who the fuck is Kip?

00:51:38Marc:I think that reading my own stuff that's very important to me at the time should be as difficult as deciphering ancient texts.

00:51:45Guest 7:Where are you?

00:51:46Guest 7:I'm at Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

00:51:49Marc:Now, you're down there working on a thing, a book?

00:51:52Guest 7:I'm working on my book.

00:51:53Marc:Another book.

00:51:54Marc:This is what, the ninth book?

00:51:55Guest 7:This is the 15th in a series.

00:51:58Guest 7:It's going to be published next to the Encyclopedia Britannica, and go the same way as.

00:52:03Marc:Well, I always wonder when you write books that are sort of memoir-related, when does it get to the point where, as I'm writing this, I'm writing about the experience of writing this?

00:52:11Guest 7:Oh, that's good.

00:52:12Guest 7:I'm closing in on it.

00:52:14Guest 7:I'll let you know.

00:52:16Guest 7:I just wonder when, you know, the thing is, is that I don't really consider myself an author because my picture's on the front of the book.

00:52:25Guest 7:So it's kind of like, you know, when my name is there, that's when you're an author.

00:52:29Guest 7:And that I do feel like...

00:52:31Guest 7:It's silly that my book, there should be a place where there's Hemingway, Vonnegut, Joseph Heller, Dostoevsky.

00:52:39Guest 7:That should be one bookstore.

00:52:41Guest 7:And then there should be the shit bookstore for my book.

00:52:44Marc:Well, they have the shit shelf or the shit bin.

00:52:48Marc:Yeah.

00:52:49Marc:No, so you're saying that once your picture moves off the cover and onto the inner sleeve, that's where you've made the jump.

00:52:55Guest 7:That's where you've actually, you're considered an author.

00:52:58Marc:But you spend time, I mean, you went to school down there, right?

00:53:00Guest 7:Yeah.

00:53:01Marc:So are you like in residence?

00:53:02Marc:Are you staying in your old dorm room to maybe pick up some memories?

00:53:06Yeah.

00:53:07Guest 7:Oh, man.

00:53:08Guest 7:No, I have actually a little apartment down here that I hang out in.

00:53:13Marc:Really?

00:53:13Guest 7:Yeah.

00:53:14Marc:It's like that's your place where you go to relax when you're off the road and you want to get work done.

00:53:19Guest 7:Yeah, and I write.

00:53:21Guest 7:This is the one place I actually got things written, and so it's like I come back here and I actually can write.

00:53:27Marc:And you went undergrad there?

00:53:30Marc:Undergrad.

00:53:31Marc:That's a very interesting thing.

00:53:34Marc:You're like, the one time where I actually had to do work.

00:53:37Marc:I got it done.

00:53:38Marc:So maybe that place is good for me to go work.

00:53:42Marc:Do you actually call some of your old teachers to ask you if you're done?

00:53:45Guest 7:No, some of them are dead.

00:53:47Marc:Oh, then it's harder.

00:53:49Guest 7:But I do write here.

00:53:50Guest 7:I mean, I actually sit down and get things done.

00:53:52Marc:Yeah, I'm finding that you really need to quiet everything down to get anything done.

00:53:56Guest 7:Yeah, especially to get your piles of lists.

00:54:02Marc:I've got to get that book.

00:54:03Guest 7:It's got to be done quietly.

00:54:05Marc:So what is the thrust of this book?

00:54:06Marc:And then I'll let you go.

00:54:08Guest 7:It's called I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas.

00:54:11Guest 7:It's my take on Christmas.

00:54:14Marc:Oh, yeah.

00:54:15Guest 7:It's essentially a book about being single disguised as a Christmas book.

00:54:21Marc:Oh, okay.

00:54:22Marc:Have you ever thought about writing children's books?

00:54:25Marc:Never.

00:54:26Marc:Because I think I could see an animated little version of you just screaming through many cartoon panels.

00:54:34Guest 7:A little cocksucker.

00:54:36Marc:Yeah, that should be what it's called.

00:54:38Marc:Maybe you should do a Christmas children's book called Little Cocksucker's Christmas.

00:54:42Yeah.

00:54:44Marc:I tell you that would sell.

00:54:46Marc:Put that on the list.

00:54:47Marc:I certainly will.

00:54:48Marc:So next time we're in the same city, you'll definitely come on the show and we'll do a long one.

00:54:52Guest 7:All right.

00:54:53Guest 7:We have fun together, so I'll be there.

00:54:55Marc:Awesome.

00:54:56Marc:And good luck finishing that thing.

00:54:57Marc:It was great talking to you.

00:54:58Marc:Good talking to you.

00:54:59Marc:Take care, Mark.

00:54:59Marc:Thanks, Lewis.

00:55:16Marc:All right, I'm here with Brendan McDonald, my producer and co-creator of WTF.

00:55:20Marc:And look, Brendan, I know you spend a lot of time working in public radio.

00:55:24Marc:That's right.

00:55:25Marc:Working in non-for-profit radio.

00:55:26Guest 1:Yeah, and for-profit radio.

00:55:28Guest 1:And by far, this is the best option of all of them that I've done in terms of broadcasting.

00:55:33Marc:In terms of on the creative side and making product?

00:55:36Guest 1:Yeah, creative side and just it's creative freedom.

00:55:39Guest 1:It's also format freedom, which is fantastic.

00:55:43Marc:It's awesome because we can just fuckity fuck it up.

00:55:45Guest 1:And you don't have anyone saying, you know, don't talk to Sam Lipsight for 25 minutes.

00:55:52Marc:Right.

00:55:52Marc:We need to keep that interview to 11 minutes because we got a tease for the, you know, buy gold commercial.

00:55:58Guest 1:Yeah.

00:55:59Guest 1:None of that.

00:55:59Marc:Or like, you know, I don't know why we should have him on.

00:56:02Marc:He's not plugging anything.

00:56:03Guest 1:Right.

00:56:04Marc:None of that.

00:56:04Guest 1:That's a great thing is that you very rarely have to worry about anybody coming on the show with an agenda.

00:56:11Guest 1:They just kind of want to come on and talk.

00:56:12Marc:Yeah, because I barely have an agenda.

00:56:14Marc:I just want to talk.

00:56:15Marc:I want to listen.

00:56:15Marc:I want to be entertained, and I hope that's entertaining to other people.

00:56:19Marc:But as we were talking about, I don't know, am I an idiot?

00:56:21Marc:I'd like to make a little money.

00:56:23Guest 1:Yeah, well, there's options to do that.

00:56:25Marc:Yeah, and what are you thinking?

00:56:26Guest 1:Well, I mean, we've talked about this before, that the intention when we first started WTF was that the model would be subscriber-based, but it would all be pay subscribers.

00:56:38Guest 1:Yeah.

00:56:38Guest 1:Right.

00:56:38Guest 1:And we thought that launching this, we'd do a couple of episodes, we'd get some interest, and then we'd start charging those people who were interested.

00:56:47Guest 1:And I think, I don't know if it was your reaction too, but my reaction was...

00:56:53Guest 1:When so many people got interested in the show so fast, it seemed like it would be wrong to prohibit people from listening just because they didn't want to pay for it.

00:57:02Marc:Well, that's the funny thing.

00:57:04Marc:Part of me thinks like, all right, now we've got our people that love our show.

00:57:07Marc:Let's just grab hold of as many as we can, charge them a certain amount, and call it a day.

00:57:13Marc:But the bottom line is the type of reactions that we're getting and the type of emails I'm reading from people of all different kinds who literally are saying, you're helping me stay sane.

00:57:23Marc:And I really enjoy the show.

00:57:27Marc:I wish I could donate, but I can't.

00:57:30Marc:I don't want those people to be left out in the cold.

00:57:32Marc:I don't want to not let them have their show.

00:57:36Marc:I mean, there's part of me that's like, you know what, let's just charge.

00:57:39Marc:And I'm sorry, but you can't.

00:57:41Guest 1:But I don't want to do that.

00:57:43Guest 1:Yeah.

00:57:43Guest 1:And I agree.

00:57:43Guest 1:I don't want to do that either.

00:57:45Guest 1:And it's not even my name on the show.

00:57:47Guest 1:It's yours.

00:57:48Guest 1:And so, you know, who am I to say, yeah, don't charge.

00:57:51Guest 1:You should feel like you should charge whoever you want to charge.

00:57:54Guest 1:But I'm heartened to hear you say that because I don't think that that's the right way to go with a product like this either.

00:58:00Guest 1:I think that a product like this is high quality.

00:58:03Guest 1:And I don't just think that because I'm working on it with you.

00:58:05Marc:I actually do think that.

00:58:07Yeah.

00:58:07Guest 1:But I listen to it as a as a fan.

00:58:10Guest 1:You know, I'll listen even though I've cut the show together.

00:58:13Guest 1:I'll listen to it like two weeks later and go, man, that thing was funny.

00:58:17Guest 1:And I think that as a high quality product like this, that we you and I have made a commitment to doing two episodes a week.

00:58:25Guest 1:you know no question a lot of work you know and and i and i want to continue doing that and so if if we make that commitment i know that through the quality of the product there are people out there that recognize that and we'll say well fine here's some bread yeah have some money for that yeah and it doesn't have to be everyone who downloads this show because we know that not everyone can afford that right but the people who can afford it

00:58:50Guest 1:But the most popular option is probably the $10 a month rolling donation.

00:58:54Guest 1:It's basically like you're a subscriber to something that costs $10 a month.

00:58:58Guest 1:That's less than $2.35 a week.

00:59:01Guest 1:That's one Starbucks coffee.

00:59:02Guest 1:Less than a cup of coffee.

00:59:04Guest 1:Yeah.

00:59:04Guest 1:If you get like the middle size.

00:59:06Marc:And I'm not going to judge you for that.

00:59:07Marc:Or a latte or something with caramel on it.

00:59:10Guest 1:That's less than that.

00:59:11Guest 1:Or what are other things?

00:59:13Guest 1:One movie ticket.

00:59:15Yeah.

00:59:15Marc:That's for a whole month.

00:59:16Guest 1:In a month costs more than $10.

00:59:17Guest 1:That's right.

00:59:18Guest 1:One movie ticket.

00:59:20Guest 1:Yeah.

00:59:20Guest 1:One album off of iTunes costs more than that.

00:59:23Guest 1:HBO is like 13 bucks a month.

00:59:25Guest 1:In some place, if you get the super HBO, it's like 17 bucks.

00:59:29Marc:And we're better than that.

00:59:30Guest 1:I think so.

00:59:31Guest 1:Absolutely.

00:59:31Guest 1:What's HBO got going for it right now?

00:59:33Guest 1:Nothing.

00:59:33Guest 1:I mean, I'll watch the Scorsese thing when that comes on.

00:59:36Guest 1:Yeah.

00:59:37Guest 1:But besides that, I just think that in comparable entertainment dollars, this show offers something and people would be willing to pay for that.

00:59:47Marc:If you can't, you can't.

00:59:49Marc:And I certainly appreciate it.

00:59:50Marc:We get donations.

00:59:50Marc:Sometimes I get donations for a dollar.

00:59:52Marc:Sometimes I get donations for $5.

00:59:54Marc:Sometimes I get weird donations for like $6.72.

00:59:56Marc:And that's awesome.

00:59:58Guest 1:I love that people do that.

00:59:59Guest 1:It's like what Radiohead did with their album.

01:00:02Guest 1:And sure, did some people not spend anything on that album when they downloaded it?

01:00:07Guest 1:Of course.

01:00:08Guest 1:But some people spent $20 on it.

01:00:10Marc:I think I spent eight when I downloaded it.

01:00:12Guest 1:Yeah, and that's totally fair.

01:00:14Guest 1:And I think Radiohead would be happy that you even downloaded it.

01:00:17Marc:I've not heard from him.

01:00:18Guest 1:Oh, really?

01:00:18Marc:Yeah, I'm surprised.

01:00:20Marc:Because you think I'd like a thank you note.

01:00:22Marc:But then again, I don't send as many thank you notes.

01:00:24Marc:So I'm sharing my gratitude with you now.

01:00:26Marc:I'm telling you, if you give us a little bit of money, I'll get an intern.

01:00:31Marc:And I'll tip him.

01:00:32Marc:I don't even know if you're supposed to pay interns.

01:00:34Marc:Is that wrong?

01:00:35Guest 1:No, I think you're supposed to pay them if they're not getting course credit.

01:00:39Marc:Oh, yeah.

01:00:40Marc:Well, I'll do that.

01:00:41Marc:If you send me some money, I'll pay an intern to to organize my Excel spreadsheets and also to make sure that everybody gets their T-shirts on time and their CDs that are that are come with your subscription.

01:00:52Marc:And certainly if you do the the new special super premium subscription, which isn't a subscription, it's a one time donation of two hundred and fifty dollars.

01:01:00Marc:That's two T-shirts.

01:01:01Marc:a full trilogy of my records, my CDs, and the very special Greatest Hits of WTF Volume 1, then I'll make sure that gets out to you.

01:01:10Marc:You know what I'll do?

01:01:10Marc:I'll actually put ink on the side of my face and print it on a piece.

01:01:13Marc:I can't.

01:01:14Marc:Don't promise that.

01:01:15Guest 1:Well, I think that the $250 thing, that's a really committed fan that's going to do that, and that's somebody who really feels the show is worthwhile to them.

01:01:24Guest 1:And I guess my general request for anybody who listens to this show and likes it is

01:01:30Guest 1:is just ask yourself, what is it worth to you?

01:01:35Guest 1:And if it's worth $250 and you then get a whole bunch of fun-free stuff with it, that's awesome.

01:01:43Guest 1:And we are more than appreciative of it.

01:01:45Guest 1:But if it's worth $2.50 once, that's still cool.

01:01:50Guest 1:It's great.

01:01:50Guest 1:And we're just happy that the show is part of your routine and that you don't want it to go away and not be part of your routine anymore.

01:01:57Marc:Go to WTFPod.com to make your donations.

01:02:00Marc:Again, there's several different options.

01:02:02Marc:There's the one-time donation.

01:02:03Marc:There is the $10 a month rowing subscription, which will get you a T-shirt, some stickers, a postcard.

01:02:09Marc:Then there's the super premium $250 one-time donation, which will get you two T-shirts, three CDs, and

01:02:17Marc:and a special extra CD, The Best of WTF Volume 1, and also my gratitude and appreciation.

01:02:24Marc:And just as a side note, the Comedy Central pilot that I did is not being picked up.

01:02:30Marc:I'm not saying anything.

01:02:32Marc:I'm just saying, you know, that's just a side note, that I'm not going to have that, okay?

01:02:38Marc:I'm not upset about it or anything, and I'm not, like, begging, but they're not going to make the show.

01:02:43Marc:I'm sorry, Brett, I'm just...

01:02:45Marc:Kidding.

01:02:46Marc:But yes, it didn't get picked up.

01:02:47Marc:So this is what I'm doing with my life.

01:02:50Marc:You're getting my life for whatever you are willing to give us.

01:02:53Guest 1:I give you five bucks for that.

01:02:55Marc:Okay, I'll take it.

01:02:57All right.

01:03:15Guest 8:Hello.

01:03:16Guest 8:Todd Berry.

01:03:16Guest 8:Hey, what's going on?

01:03:17Marc:Not much, man.

01:03:18Guest 8:Are we on the air?

01:03:19Marc:Yeah, we're recording.

01:03:20Marc:Oh, okay.

01:03:20Marc:It's not going out live.

01:03:22Marc:But you know what's weird is that I remember your phone number.

01:03:25Guest 8:Yeah?

01:03:26Marc:Yeah.

01:03:26Marc:I mean, do you have numbers like that?

01:03:27Marc:I mean, I don't know anybody.

01:03:28Guest 8:Yeah, and I have other people who remember this number.

01:03:30Guest 8:I think because I've had it for 20 years, maybe.

01:03:32Marc:I think I used to say your number on stage in a joke.

01:03:36Marc:Did you ever get any weird calls like that?

01:03:37Marc:No, I didn't.

01:03:38Marc:Like, I used to do a joke about how we don't remember, like, if you were to ask me my number, I'd be hard-pressed.

01:03:45Marc:Like, there was a time where we knew our friend's numbers, like, right away, Todd, 6-7-7.

01:03:49Guest 8:I didn't know you were doing that.

01:03:50Guest 8:That's terrible.

01:03:51Marc:Is it?

01:03:52Guest 8:No, I don't care.

01:03:52Marc:Yeah, I don't think anyone made the association.

01:03:55Marc:So, what?

01:03:55Guest 8:You're not going to do it on the air now, are you?

01:03:57Marc:No, no, no, no.

01:03:59Marc:Oh, that's right.

01:04:00Marc:I just did it, but we'll take it out.

01:04:02Marc:I'm not going to do that to you.

01:04:03Marc:Please take it out.

01:04:04Marc:I made that mistake once on my old video show.

01:04:06Marc:I was leaving a message for Zach Galifianakis, and I put my number out there on a live show, and I still get texts today from people going, hey, I don't want to bother you, but yeah, but you're bothering me.

01:04:19Marc:We're going to have you back on the show, you know, when I come back to New York, because we need to sit down and do another episode.

01:04:25Marc:A lot of people are downloading your episodes.

01:04:26Guest 8:Oh, yeah?

01:04:27Marc:Yeah.

01:04:28Marc:Yeah.

01:04:28Marc:I mean, a lot.

01:04:29Guest 8:I've had a lot of people talk about it.

01:04:30Marc:Really?

01:04:31Guest 8:Yeah.

01:04:31Guest 8:I mean, come up to me.

01:04:32Guest 8:Oh, yeah.

01:04:32Guest 8:Yeah.

01:04:33Guest 8:Mention that they heard me on the show.

01:04:34Marc:No kidding.

01:04:35Marc:Like, just strangers?

01:04:36Yeah.

01:04:36Guest 8:I believe so, and people I know.

01:04:39Marc:Well, that's cool, because that means that people like the show and they like you.

01:04:43Marc:Now we're just trying to get people to maybe donate a little money for the tremendous shows that we provide for them twice a week.

01:04:48Guest 8:What do you do with that money, if I'm allowed to ask?

01:04:51Marc:Well, given that I'm not a huge road draw and I don't have anything else coming up down the pike that looks like it could be a substantial income for me, I'm using it to live on.

01:05:04Guest 8:So this is a rent benefit.

01:05:06Marc:Basically, it's a benefit for Marc Maron, or we could call it, hey, this is a new approach to having a job.

01:05:11Marc:You send me money for giving you the product directly.

01:05:14Marc:Right.

01:05:14Marc:So what do you got coming up?

01:05:15Marc:Anything huge and exciting?

01:05:16Guest 8:Huge.

01:05:17Guest 8:But I am doing my first show in Salt Lake City.

01:05:20Guest 8:Wow.

01:05:20Guest 8:And I'm going to Scotland.

01:05:23Guest 8:I'm going with you.

01:05:25Guest 8:I think we're there at different times, though.

01:05:26Marc:What do you mean?

01:05:28Guest 8:I'm there the 11th through the 14th.

01:05:29Marc:That's when I'm there.

01:05:30Marc:Oh, are you really?

01:05:31Marc:That's going to be great.

01:05:32Marc:It'll be me and you walking around wondering why we're not doing as well as other people.

01:05:34Guest 8:Yeah, I hope...

01:05:36Guest 8:I hope it's fun.

01:05:37Guest 8:I heard the audiences are really good there, actually.

01:05:40Marc:Yeah, I tend to hear that a lot before I go to places.

01:05:42Guest 8:Before you go down in flames.

01:05:44Marc:Yeah, where people are trying to make me feel good about going there.

01:05:48Guest 8:Maybe we'll be on the same flight.

01:05:50Marc:But I'm flying direct from L.A., so it's not going to happen.

01:05:53Guest 8:Oh, you're going to be miserable, man.

01:05:54Marc:Thanks.

01:05:55Marc:Did you upgrade?

01:05:57Marc:I don't know if I can upgrade.

01:05:58Marc:It's British Air.

01:05:58Marc:I don't know.

01:05:59Marc:It's 12 hours for me.

01:06:00Guest 8:Oof.

01:06:01Marc:I know.

01:06:03Marc:But I get miles.

01:06:03Guest 8:But you're closer to Australia, though, so that's good.

01:06:05Marc:Yeah, that's only 14 hours.

01:06:08Guest 8:People should go to my website for my tour dates.

01:06:10Marc:Okay, that's ToddBerry.com?

01:06:11Guest 8:Yeah, if they want to.

01:06:12Guest 8:Salt Lake City, my first show.

01:06:14Guest 8:Have you ever done a show there?

01:06:15Marc:I believe I did the Jerusalem Syndrome there at a Jewish community center.

01:06:20Marc:Wow.

01:06:20Marc:And I felt like I've never met a more cloistered and frightened bunch of Jews.

01:06:26Marc:I mean, Salt Lake City is really the only functioning theocracy in this country.

01:06:31Marc:Yeah.

01:06:31Marc:And it was very interesting because I was forced to to get a ride from the airport.

01:06:36Marc:The rabbi Chabad offered me one if I went and did tefillin at the Chabad Center.

01:06:42Marc:So I had to go be part of a minion in order to get a ride to the airport in Salt Lake City.

01:06:47Guest 8:Really?

01:06:47Guest 8:He said, I'll give you a ride, but there's a price to pay.

01:06:50Marc:There's a price to pay.

01:06:51Marc:Why don't you come do tefillin at the Chabad Center?

01:06:53Marc:And I said, I don't really want to.

01:06:54Marc:But then they're always like, you're a Jew, aren't you?

01:06:57Marc:When was the last time you did it?

01:06:58Guest 8:I don't even know what that ritual is that you're talking about.

01:07:01Marc:Oh, they'll show you.

01:07:02Marc:Because honestly, I don't know what it is.

01:07:04Marc:There are these two boxes that have prayers in them.

01:07:07Marc:You tie one to your head and you tie one to your arm in a very certain way.

01:07:11Marc:You tie it so you see a Jewish letter there.

01:07:13Marc:I know there's some Jews out there going to be like, you are bad.

01:07:16Marc:You know, it's something you do once or twice because an old man makes you do it.

01:07:20Guest 8:No, I'll splurge for a cab, I think, rather than a boy.

01:07:22Marc:All right.

01:07:23Marc:Well, have a good gig.

01:07:24Marc:All right, man.

01:07:24Marc:I'll talk to you.

01:07:25Marc:See you.

01:07:25Marc:Bye.

01:07:38Marc:Oh, my God.

01:07:40Marc:Isn't this amazing?

01:07:41Marc:Go to WTFPod.com and do what you got to do in however you want to do it.

01:07:47Marc:It's Matthew Weiss.

01:07:49Marc:What are you doing here?

01:07:51Marc:What are we doing here?

01:07:52Marc:We're in a radio studio making radio.

01:07:54Marc:What are you doing here?

01:07:55Guest 2:I thought you were in your garage and all that.

01:07:57Guest 2:I was just here at a real estate seminar.

01:07:59Marc:No.

01:08:00Marc:Yeah.

01:08:00Guest 2:Have you been to it?

01:08:01Marc:No, but we had Cedar on a while back, and he was going to the seminar, too.

01:08:06Marc:It must be a week-long thing.

01:08:07Guest 2:Well, you know, I trust him in those kind of matters.

01:08:10Marc:Well, shit, it's good to see you.

01:08:12Guest 2:It's good to see you, too.

01:08:13Marc:Wow, it's been weeks.

01:08:15Marc:No, it's been longer than that.

01:08:17Marc:Really?

01:08:17Marc:What do you mean, really?

01:08:19Marc:I've been in town three days.

01:08:21Marc:You didn't call me.

01:08:23Marc:You're in town?

01:08:24Marc:You knew I was here.

01:08:25Guest 2:Yeah, no, I knew you were here.

01:08:26Guest 2:I get a feeling.

01:08:28Guest 2:I get like a chill.

01:08:28Marc:I know, so why didn't you call me?

01:08:31Guest 2:You know, I didn't have your new number.

01:08:32Guest 2:You must have a new L.A.

01:08:33Guest 2:number, right?

01:08:34Marc:No.

01:08:35Guest 2:Oh.

01:08:36Marc:You know I've been here.

01:08:36Marc:I've been in Astoria.

01:08:38Marc:I know you know.

01:08:39Guest 2:Well, I don't know.

01:08:40Guest 2:I thought maybe if you wanted to hang out, you'd call me and say, you know.

01:08:44Marc:I'm not going to play this game with you.

01:08:45Marc:You know, the last time we hung out, you know, there was apologies made.

01:08:48Marc:There was bridges reconstructed.

01:08:51Marc:That's all passive voice.

01:08:53Guest 2:What does that mean?

01:08:55Guest 2:Well, there's no subject or object there.

01:08:57Guest 2:Who apologized to who about what?

01:08:59Guest 2:There were apologies made.

01:09:01Guest 2:I mean, that's true, technically.

01:09:03Marc:Well, I think we both apologized.

01:09:07Marc:Yeah, all right.

01:09:07Marc:But I think you apologized first.

01:09:09Guest 2:Is that right?

01:09:10Guest 2:Yeah.

01:09:11Guest 2:I'll go with that.

01:09:12Guest 2:Okay.

01:09:13Guest 2:But I don't remember why I would have done that since what happened was it started sort of by you, right?

01:09:20Marc:Am I wrong?

01:09:21Marc:I think that people remember Matthew from some of the earlier episodes, and then he was abruptly not on the episodes because I moved, and also because we- You abruptly moved?

01:09:30Guest 2:I'm sure not because of me.

01:09:32Marc:No.

01:09:33Guest 2:Are you sure?

01:09:34Guest 2:After some serious soul searching, I've come to the conclusion that we had about two percent.

01:09:39Marc:There was an argument that happened on air and it grew.

01:09:42Guest 2:You were yelling.

01:09:44Guest 2:You got all in a huff and then Brendan couldn't tell if you were kidding or real.

01:09:47Guest 2:Right, Brendan?

01:09:47Guest 2:You remember that?

01:09:48Guest 1:It was a little difficult, and then a couple weeks later, maybe it was more than a couple weeks, I remember, I think I was talking to you on the phone, Mark, and I said, I had a dream last night that Matthew Weiss was furious at us and told the both of us off, told us to go to hell.

01:10:04Guest 1:So maybe we should make amends there, because I don't think that ended well.

01:10:08Guest 2:Well, Brendan, I appreciate that you are the sensitive, mature one in this production, and whatever influence you can have on Mark, I really appreciate that.

01:10:18Guest 2:And I think, Mark, you will appreciate that, too, going forward.

01:10:21Guest 2:See, you are amazing, and we have a lot of the same overlaps.

01:10:24Guest 2:And I want to say, I've really enjoyed listening to you talk with your therapist, because you're a very sensitive person, but clearly...

01:10:31Guest 2:you've had a lot of your buttons pushed in a lot of bad ways through your life.

01:10:35Guest 1:I do think an amazing thing happened, though.

01:10:37Guest 1:What?

01:10:37Guest 1:That even though Matthew was summarily kicked off the show for reasons both geographical and emotional.

01:10:43Marc:I didn't realize they were emotional.

01:10:44Marc:I didn't realize that.

01:10:45Marc:Oh, yeah.

01:10:46Marc:I didn't want you fucking on again ever.

01:10:48Marc:Uh-huh.

01:10:48Guest 1:Well, after all of this, Matthew has made it known that he has still been regularly listening to the show as he has continued.

01:10:58Guest 2:That's right.

01:10:58Guest 2:I enjoy it.

01:10:59Guest 2:Like I've said, I'd rather listen to you through my headphones than in real life.

01:11:02Guest 2:So it's a lot of fun listening to you talk.

01:11:05Guest 1:I think that is an endorsement for the value of this program.

01:11:09Guest 2:It is, despite whatever negative feelings I may have had every opportunity to engender towards you.

01:11:15Guest 2:Trust me, there was plenty of opportunities.

01:11:18Guest 2:That's just not how I live.

01:11:20Guest 2:That's just not how I felt like handling it.

01:11:22Guest 2:And in fact, if you want to really talk about what happened, you played a show around the corner from my house at the Astoria Beer Garden.

01:11:30Guest 2:Right.

01:11:31Guest 2:Which I decided, you know what?

01:11:32Guest 2:I know Mark's being stubborn.

01:11:34Guest 2:I know there's probably some hurt feelings on his side.

01:11:37Guest 2:There's definitely hurt feelings on my side.

01:11:39Guest 2:But again, with that new understanding of what limitations I'm dealing with, I decided, you know what?

01:11:43Guest 2:I'm not going to pretend like Mark can do something like

01:11:47Guest 2:bridge the gap and come to me.

01:11:49Guest 2:So I'm going to put myself out on the line.

01:11:51Guest 2:I'm going to lay my pride down a little bit and say, you know what, Mark?

01:11:54Guest 2:I like enough of you to keep this going.

01:11:57Guest 2:And I like what I like about you.

01:12:00Guest 2:And if you can accept the terms of our friendship the way I'll set the terms of our friendship,

01:12:05Guest 2:then I'm sorry for anything I did to hurt you, and the floor is now yours.

01:12:10Guest 2:And I think you handled yourself very gracefully.

01:12:12Guest 2:That night when he came?

01:12:13Guest 2:Yeah, you said, you want to go eat at the diner?

01:12:15Guest 2:Yeah, you want to go eat at the diner?

01:12:16Guest 2:That was it.

01:12:17Guest 2:That's how you do it.

01:12:17Guest 2:You said, you want to go eat at the diner?

01:12:18Guest 2:Yes.

01:12:19Marc:Thank you.

01:12:20Marc:Yeah, because I felt bad about it.

01:12:22Guest 2:Did you?

01:12:23Guest 2:Yeah, because I- I mean, I assume so, but I want to give you some time to-

01:12:26Marc:We're kindred spirits.

01:12:28Marc:It's difficult.

01:12:28Marc:There's going to be immediate boundary problems.

01:12:31Marc:We're up each other's skin.

01:12:34Guest 2:Don't point so close to me.

01:12:35Marc:We're under each other's skin immediately because we have the same emotional problems.

01:12:40Guest 1:Well, Matthew, now you're officially holding in the same court as about 90% of the other guests on this show.

01:12:45Guest 1:Well, I was just going to say that's- Problems with Mark that then get resolved.

01:12:49Marc:I don't understand why so many people I know have problems like that.

01:12:52Guest 2:What's great about this is, well, there's only one common denominator.

01:12:56Marc:I understand that idea.

01:12:58Guest 2:I mean, just do the math.

01:13:00Marc:No, I understand.

01:13:02Marc:I understand the math as well.

01:13:04Marc:But that doesn't mean I'm at fault.

01:13:06Marc:Do they all usually get resolved with food?

01:13:07Guest 2:See, that's the other thing, too.

01:13:08Guest 2:Yeah, if I can.

01:13:10Guest 2:Food is a big piece.

01:13:11Guest 2:You just feed somebody and it changes everything.

01:13:13Guest 2:I want to heal all of that if I can.

01:13:15Guest 2:I'm being funny and we're on the podcast and I'm teasing you a little bit.

01:13:18Guest 2:But that element is extremely, I'm aware of that.

01:13:22Guest 2:Which one?

01:13:23Guest 2:It's important to me.

01:13:24Guest 2:Which?

01:13:25Guest 2:That I'm a kind of friend that you don't get around a lot.

01:13:28Guest 2:And that's touching to me, literally.

01:13:30Guest 2:Yeah.

01:13:31Guest 2:And not literally to touch me, but it's moving for me emotionally.

01:13:35Guest 2:And that makes me want to like you more.

01:13:38Guest 2:You know, that makes me feel sympathetic towards you.

01:13:40Guest 2:And it reminds me of what it is that we do have.

01:13:43Guest 2:So I don't have to think about the things that they're a little bit too much.

01:13:46Marc:See, I got them.

01:13:47Marc:I got you.

01:13:48Guest 2:Yeah.

01:13:48Marc:Oh, good.

01:13:49Guest 2:So you had me.

01:13:49Guest 2:You had me.

01:13:50Guest 2:I'm here.

01:13:50Guest 2:You want to go to the diner?

01:13:52Guest 2:I actually, there's a movie starting, an art movie.

01:13:57Guest 2:I bet.

01:13:57Guest 2:It's starting in a couple.

01:13:59Guest 2:All right, yeah, I'll go.

01:14:00Guest 2:You buying?

01:14:01Guest 2:Sure.

01:14:20Marc:Hello?

01:14:20Marc:Zach Galifianakis, I left some messages on your machines, and I hope you found them funny and not irritating.

01:14:29Guest 11:Can't they be both?

01:14:31Marc:Yeah, I think that's, yeah, I have that experience sometimes when I watch comedy.

01:14:36Guest 11:Are we on the air, Mark?

01:14:38Marc:Yes, we are, Zach.

01:14:39Marc:Okay.

01:14:40Marc:Are you going to change?

01:14:41Marc:Does something change now?

01:14:42Guest 11:I just want to get into my podcast voice.

01:14:44Marc:Okay.

01:14:45Marc:Do you need a second?

01:14:46Guest 11:Okay.

01:14:49Marc:Are you drinking honey tea?

01:14:54Marc:Are you sick?

01:14:57Marc:Are you at your farmhouse?

01:15:02Marc:What's going on at the farmhouse?

01:15:06Guest 11:Were you not squatting and lifting?

01:15:14Marc:Did you just bend and lift?

01:15:16Guest 11:You know, that whole lifting of your legs, not your back, something the Greek Orthodox Church doesn't believe in.

01:15:23Marc:Oh, so you've sort of religiously set up to hurt yourself.

01:15:29Guest 11:Yeah, yeah.

01:15:30Guest 11:I understand.

01:15:31Guest 11:Laying in my parents' basement on a sofa.

01:15:34Marc:Well, you know, the reason I'm calling, other than I really like talking to you, is that I'm looking forward to you appearing on the show again, and you would do that, right?

01:15:46Guest 11:Yes, I would do that.

01:15:47Marc:Well, that's nice of you.

01:15:48Marc:What else do you have going on to get people excited?

01:15:52Guest 11:Nothing.

01:15:53Guest 11:Unless laying on your back flat out is... Oh, I'm hosting Saturday Night Live this Saturday.

01:16:00Marc:Oh, shit.

01:16:01Marc:Is that this Saturday?

01:16:03Marc:That's exciting.

01:16:04Guest 11:Yeah, I keep forgetting about it.

01:16:06Guest 11:Well, it's going to be hard to host from a cot while I'm on my back.

01:16:11Marc:Your back will be better by then.

01:16:12Guest 11:I hope so.

01:16:14Marc:I hope so.

01:16:15Marc:I think you should work it into your monologue.

01:16:16Marc:Why don't you come out on a cot?

01:16:18Guest 11:It's not a bad idea.

01:16:19Marc:That would be hilarious.

01:16:20Guest 11:You said cot, right?

01:16:22Marc:Yeah, on a cock.

01:16:24Guest 11:I don't know what I'm going to do.

01:16:26Guest 11:If you have any ideas, let me know as far as spooks, skits, that kind of thing.

01:16:33Marc:Here's what I'm pitching, is that you come out on a cot and you have them rewrite all the sketches to accommodate your back problem.

01:16:42Guest 11:I think that's a great idea.

01:16:44Guest 11:It actually is a great idea.

01:16:45Guest 11:I kind of was thinking that, like, has anyone ever had an injury...

01:16:49Guest 11:And then, you know, if you break your arm, you can get away with doing skits with a broken arm.

01:16:54Guest 11:You write every sketch because you're a patient or something or whatever, whenever someone's lighting down.

01:17:01Guest 11:Like an auto mechanic, you know how they wheel it underneath cars?

01:17:04Marc:Yeah.

01:17:05Guest 11:Just every sketch has to be placated to that kind of thing.

01:17:07Marc:And that'd be funny because even in the sketches, if you want to take a second to go, I, I, ow, ow, ow, ow.

01:17:14Marc:Like that.

01:17:19Marc:You could just get in the middle of a sketch, go bad idea, bad idea.

01:17:22Marc:Okay.

01:17:24Guest 11:That's really good.

01:17:26Guest 11:I like it.

01:17:27Marc:I like it.

01:17:27Marc:I'd see if he could do it.

01:17:30Guest 11:When I get there on Monday, I'm going to talk to them about it, especially if my back still hurts.

01:17:33Marc:Okay.

01:17:34Marc:Well, take care of yourself.

01:17:35Marc:I'm glad you called me back.

01:17:38Guest 11:Thank you, Mark.

01:17:39Guest 11:Of course.

01:17:39Guest 11:Okay, Zach.

01:17:40Marc:Bye.

01:17:44Marc:Hello.

01:17:45Marc:John Mulaney.

01:17:46Marc:Yeah, hey, Mark.

01:17:47Marc:How's it going?

01:17:47Marc:I'm pretty good.

01:17:48Marc:How are you doing, man?

01:17:49Marc:I'm doing good.

01:17:50Marc:Let me just tell my audience quickly who you are and why you're important and special and funny in the world of comedy.

01:17:55Marc:John Mulaney is a writer on Saturday Night Live, and also his newest record, CD, the top part, has become very popular and highly credited and reviewed in a very positive way.

01:18:09Marc:How was that?

01:18:09Guest 11:Well, thank you.

01:18:10Guest 11:That's fantastic.

01:18:12Guest 11:You hit both sides of me.

01:18:14Marc:how you doing man i'm doing good how are you i'm good i you know i'm calling for a couple reasons number one i want to have you on the show uh for real for for a big long interview would you like to do that i'd love to do it uh did you guys have a show last night snl we did jennifer lopez was on uh hosting and singing because i talked to zach and he said he's uh he's pretty excited about coming on on saturday

01:18:39Guest 11:I think everyone's as excited about the Zach show as any since I've been there.

01:18:44Guest 11:I mean, people are really...

01:18:46Guest 11:Very excited that he's coming.

01:18:48Guest 11:It's Vampire Weekend, too, who people really enjoy.

01:18:52Marc:Vampire?

01:18:52Guest 11:Vampire Weekend.

01:18:53Marc:What does that mean?

01:18:54Marc:That's a band.

01:18:55Marc:Oh, Vampire Weekend.

01:18:56Marc:Oh, Jesus.

01:18:57Marc:Did I just become old guy?

01:18:58Marc:Did that just happen?

01:19:00Guest 11:No.

01:19:00Marc:I don't know who the hell they are.

01:19:02Marc:Are they a good band?

01:19:04Guest 11:Yeah, they are, actually.

01:19:05Guest 11:It's a good pairing.

01:19:07Marc:Now, what exactly does a day look like over there?

01:19:10Marc:Like, on Saturday, is it crazy?

01:19:12Yeah.

01:19:13Guest 11:Saturdays are especially crazy.

01:19:16Guest 11:Yeah.

01:19:16Guest 11:Because it's, there's a speed through of every sketch, not in order, but you just go through them once and then there's a dress rehearsal at eight and then the live show starts at 1130.

01:19:27Guest 11:So there's,

01:19:28Guest 11:There's no downtime starting around 1 p.m.

01:19:31Marc:And is there a lot of rewriting that goes on after the dress?

01:19:34Guest 11:Yeah.

01:19:35Guest 11:I mean, huge, huge things can be changed in between dress and air.

01:19:39Marc:Because I was pitching some ideas to Zach for Zach.

01:19:42Marc:And I don't know.

01:19:42Marc:I'm not going to tell you.

01:19:45Marc:Do you really want to know?

01:19:47Guest 11:Yeah, well, why don't I pitch them to him as if they were my own ideas?

01:19:51Guest 11:Okay, all right.

01:19:53Marc:If anything, it'll fuck with his head.

01:19:55Marc:We had him on the phone, and apparently he was having a bonfire at his farm down in South Carolina, or North Carolina.

01:20:05Marc:And he hurt his back, and he was a little concerned that his back would still be hurting, you know, come when he has to do the show.

01:20:14Marc:So I said, I think you should come out for your monologue, you know, on a cot or perhaps in something wheeling, and that you should build all the sketches around, just have them be regular sketches, but he should play them all as though his back is injured.

01:20:28Guest 11:That would be great.

01:20:29Guest 11:I like that he would both...

01:20:30Guest 11:He would be one of the few hosts we've had with a beard.

01:20:33Marc:Right.

01:20:34Guest 11:And then adding to that a wheelchair, I think, would add another element.

01:20:39Marc:Well, I just think it would be funny if during sketches you have him do things where he literally has to go, wait, wait, no, it's not going to happen.

01:20:45Marc:It's not going to work.

01:20:46Marc:It would be very Zach, wouldn't it?

01:20:48Guest 11:Yeah, the scene would be about something completely different, but then he'd have to pick up a box or something and put the brakes on it.

01:20:54Marc:Yeah, so you should pitch that to him and don't tell him you talked to me.

01:20:56Guest 11:I will.

01:20:57Guest 11:Okay, I'm going to pitch that with a straight face.

01:20:58Marc:Have you had anything really bizarre happen over there that you want to share before we get off the phone?

01:21:05Guest 11:Bizarre that happened there?

01:21:06Marc:Or how about what was the most exciting for you?

01:21:08Marc:Because you're a pretty young guy, and this is a pretty exciting time in your life.

01:21:12Marc:What was like that moment where you're like, holy fuck, I'm writing for SNL and I just did this?

01:21:17Guest 11:Oh, I got to... I mean, I got to...

01:21:21Guest 11:You know, as much as any writer did when he was hosting work with Steve Martin, that was pretty crazy.

01:21:27Guest 11:So there were some of those moments of like, wow, I'm sitting in the same room as Steve Martin talking about

01:21:32Guest 11:jokes for a sketch i mean that was as bizarre as it gets were you like sometimes when you meet your heroes there's that moment where you're like oh no but did he know but like i never because you probably had this too where after after the first couple times that happened you just know to always have low expectations temper your expectations or avoid it completely yeah

01:21:54Guest 11:So I went into it being like, all right, let him just be a quiet, polite person.

01:21:59Guest 11:And if it's not the most exciting thing in the world, just expect that, right?

01:22:05Guest 11:And then he was an extremely nice guy, so it worked out well.

01:22:08Guest 11:Yeah, no, I don't like meeting people I actually respect.

01:22:12Marc:All right, man, one way or the other, we're going to get you in, and we're going to go long form and get into it.

01:22:18Guest 11:I'd love to.

01:22:19Guest 11:I heard my friend Nick Krollen.

01:22:20Marc:I just emailed him today or yesterday.

01:22:24Marc:I want him to do Chupacabra again, because that thing is just... As a guy who's sitting there, because we don't script anything, and me interviewing Chupacabra, I am so entertained that I don't want it to stop, and I'm just happy he's going to come back in and do it.

01:22:38Guest 11:No, absolutely.

01:22:39Guest 11:I'm back.

01:22:40Marc:Okay, Matt.

01:22:40Marc:Well, thanks a lot, John.

01:22:41Guest 11:Great, dude.

01:22:42Guest 11:Great to talk to you, Mark.

01:22:42Guest 11:I'll see you in New York, I hope.

01:22:44Marc:Okay, John Mulaney.

01:22:44Marc:Thanks a lot.

01:22:50Marc:Oh, my God.

01:22:52Marc:I really do have a few friends in this racket.

01:22:55Marc:And they're all going to be coming on the show.

01:22:57Marc:And some of them have been on the show.

01:22:59Marc:I really want to thank Eugene Merman for hanging out.

01:23:01Marc:I was very excited to talk to John Oliver.

01:23:03Marc:I want to thank him.

01:23:04Marc:And I want to thank Greg Giraldo, who will soon be on the show.

01:23:07Marc:Todd Berry going to make a return appearance.

01:23:10Marc:Always great to talk to Todd Berry.

01:23:11Marc:Louis Black.

01:23:12Marc:is going to be coming on the show in the very near future.

01:23:15Marc:Zach Galifianakis.

01:23:17Marc:What a great... I have friends.

01:23:20Marc:I have friends.

01:23:21Marc:Who knew?

01:23:21Marc:Jim Norton, also going to be a future guest on the show.

01:23:25Marc:And my relatively new friend, John Mulaney from SNL.

01:23:28Marc:And, of course, Matthew Weiss.

01:23:29Marc:It was very nice to check back in with Matthew, but I think I'm good with Matthew for the time being.

01:23:33Marc:I think that was enough, Matthew.

01:23:35Marc:And, again, I want to thank all of you people who have listened and supported the show already, and I really want to thank you in advance for supporting the show in the future.

01:23:44Marc:You can go to WTFPod.com, make your donations, buy your T-shirts, follow us on Twitter, do whatever you need to do there, JustCoffee.coop.

01:23:52Marc:But please, please be generous in supporting the show because...

01:23:56Marc:Brendan and I love doing it, and we want to keep it available to everyone.

01:23:59Guest 1:Yeah, the show's there for you.

01:24:01Guest 1:You know, we like doing it, but we're doing it for you.

01:24:04Guest 1:It's yours as much as it is ours.

01:24:07Guest 1:And I keep going back to this thing from Wired Magazine, who were very generous in featuring us in their playlist section, which was basically their staff picks of what they like to listen to.

01:24:18Guest 1:But a couple years ago, the editor there, Kevin Kelly, had written this thing called A Thousand True Fans.

01:24:25Guest 1:It was basically his new media theory that in order to become successful amidst the glut of entertainment and media options out there, you just need to have a thousand fans that would be representative of your interests and follow you wherever you want to go.

01:24:40Guest 1:And that's great.

01:24:42Guest 1:But really what we want is thousands upon thousands upon thousands of people just to be able to listen to it.

01:24:48Guest 1:And so if it takes a thousand true fans to make that possible, then we're very grateful that everybody gets to hear it.

01:24:56Marc:WTFpod.com is where you can do everything you need to do.

01:24:59Marc:And I also want to thank PunchlineMagazine.com for being supportive and helping us out as well, and everyone else who has in the past.

01:25:07Marc:Thanks a lot.

01:25:08Marc:This isn't NPR, so this pledge drive is not going to go on for a month.

01:25:11Marc:This is it.

01:25:12Marc:Thanks for listening, and I'll talk to you next episode.

01:25:29Guest 11:Hi, thanks for calling, but I can't talk right now, so leave a message with your phone number, and I'll call you back as soon as I can.

01:25:35Guest 11:Thank you once again.

01:25:37Guest 11:Goodbye.

01:25:39Marc:Okay, Lou, it's Mark Marin.

01:25:42Marc:And I'm not going to take it personally.

01:25:44Marc:You know, I mean, we're still friends and everything.

01:25:48Marc:I still want you to come on the show.

01:25:49Marc:But I really thought this third time would be a charm, and it didn't turn out that way.

01:25:54Marc:But all right.

01:25:56Marc:All right.

01:25:57Marc:Well, I'll talk to you later.

01:26:09you