Episode 492 - Judy Greer
Marc:are we doing this really wait for it are we doing this wait for it pow what the fuck and it's also what the fuck what's wrong with me it's time for wtf what the fuck with mark marron
Marc:All right, let's do this.
Marc:How are you?
Marc:What the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fucking ears?
Marc:What the fucksters?
Marc:That's it.
Marc:I'm Mark Maron.
Marc:This is Mark Maron.
Marc:This is Mark Maron.
Marc:This is Mark Maron.
Marc:This is Mark Maron.
Marc:Oh boy.
Marc:It's radio class day.
Marc:Hey, it's me, Mark.
Marc:Thank you for listening to my show.
Marc:Thank you so much.
Marc:Can I just tell you a couple things quickly out of the gate?
Marc:The show, IFC show Marin, my show that I'm involved with, kind of, on all levels, premieres May 8th, 10 o'clock, 9 o'clock central.
Marc:Very excited about it.
Marc:Some of you have seen some of the trailers for the first episode.
Marc:It's a long time coming here.
Marc:Obviously, some of you have been listening since we got through the shooting and everything else.
Marc:And I'm thrilled to see what people think about it.
Marc:Let me give you a couple other dates, though, for people that may want to see me because some people enjoy that.
Marc:On May 18th, I will be at the Wild West Comedy Festival.
Marc:Doing a one-on-one, a live one-on-one with Vince Vaughn.
Marc:From what I understand, that's happening.
Marc:You can go to wildwestcomedyfestival.com or wtfpod.com for information on that.
Marc:On May 31st, I'm returning to my hometown.
Marc:I'm returning to my hometown of Albuquerque, New Mexico, to do a benefit for the Endorphin Power Company, which is a drug halfway house kind of thing.
Marc:I'll be at the National Hispanic Cultural Center.
Marc:I do not know who I'm bringing with me.
Marc:I ought to find somebody to bring with me.
Marc:But that should be a good deal.
Marc:A good deal.
Marc:A good show.
Marc:I have not been to Albuquerque in a long time.
Marc:I don't really know if I got peeps there.
Marc:So that's May 31st.
Marc:On June 14th, I'll be at the 26th Annual Comedy Festival in Chicago, Illinois.
Marc:That's a big show.
Marc:And June 26th through June 28th, I'll be doing a small show, a series of small shows at the Comedy Attic.
Marc:in Bloomington, Indiana, because we all love that room.
Marc:So go to WTFPod.com, go to the menu, hit calendar, and you can get what you need.
Marc:Trippany House also.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:I'll be at the Trippany House for my last noodling session, my last wrestling and rambling session tomorrow night, if you'd like to go to that.
Marc:That's the Trippany House at the Steve Allen Theater.
Marc:All right?
Marc:Okay?
Marc:Are we good?
Marc:Good.
Marc:Right now in my hand, I am holding...
Marc:I'm holding a book.
Marc:Judy Greer is my guest today on the show.
Marc:I love Judy Greer.
Marc:Who doesn't?
Marc:Some of you may not know who she is, and that's why she's written this endearingly funny memoir called I Don't Know What You Know Me From.
Marc:Confessions of a Co-Star, Judy Greer.
Marc:You know her.
Marc:She's been on Arrested Development.
Marc:She was in Descendants.
Marc:She's charming and funny.
Marc:I love her.
Marc:You love her.
Marc:You do.
Marc:You might not know who she is, but you love her.
Marc:All right, look, okay, so what's going on?
Marc:I was just in Austin.
Marc:I always enjoy Austin, and I got a cop to something.
Marc:I got a cop to being a bit of a prima donna.
Marc:I mean, I didn't do it in front of people.
Marc:I was a bit of a diva to myself.
Marc:I'm copying to it.
Marc:I'm owning up to it.
Marc:I'm taking responsibility for my side of being a bit diva-ish, but not publicly.
Marc:Publicly, I was just being a dick for a minute or two.
Marc:Let me take you through what happens in my brain.
Marc:This is on a decision that I made.
Marc:I don't even know why I'm telling you guys this.
Marc:But I'll take you through it because it happened.
Marc:All right, so I'm going to Austin to do the Moon Tower Comedy Festival.
Marc:I love the festival.
Marc:I've been doing it since they started.
Marc:It's a great festival.
Marc:It's a great festival for comics.
Marc:They treat us very nicely.
Marc:They put us up nicely.
Marc:They have a nice situation where we can all hang out with each other at the bar and the hotel.
Marc:that I stayed at, which could use some more outlets.
Marc:Could I just say that?
Marc:Stephen K. Austin, intercontinental.
Marc:If you're intercontinental, I think people may need to plug things in from all over the world.
Marc:So if you could maybe take it upon yourselves to put a power strip or even actual outlets.
Marc:I mean...
Marc:I've been to a lot of hotels in my life and it's almost as if you were trying not to have outlets.
Marc:The service was great.
Marc:The coffee was great in the morning.
Marc:The valet service was nice.
Marc:The hotel is a nice place, but some of us might need to recharge our phone.
Marc:It sounds crazy.
Marc:And sometimes we like to do it right next to the bed because we like to lay in bed and check our phone.
Marc:And I'm not saying I have a problem with that, but sometimes you wake up, you want to check your phone.
Marc:You might want to plug that in next to the bed, not in the bathroom or around the corner somewhere.
Marc:Just to add a few outlets.
Marc:I don't know what has to happen, but it seems like a modern hotel.
Marc:A couple other outlets would be.
Marc:See, now this is, is that diva behavior?
Marc:I don't think that's diva behavior.
Marc:I think that's practical business traveler behavior.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So I'm not, that's not my problem.
Marc:My problem was I took the gig.
Marc:I was excited to do the festival.
Marc:I took the midnight spot.
Marc:The midnight spot on a Friday night.
Marc:At the Paramount Theater, seats about 1,200 people.
Marc:Now...
Marc:As I got close to the gig, I started to think, like, what did I do?
Marc:Friday night, midnight, I got Andy Kindler and James Adomian opening for me.
Marc:I'm probably not going to get on until 1240.
Marc:These people have been at work all day.
Marc:Some of them have traveled to see me, perhaps.
Marc:There were two shows before mine, one of them being the kids in the hall, the other being Mike Birbiglia.
Marc:What did I just do?
Marc:How am I going to sell tickets?
Marc:I was starting to lose it.
Marc:I'm like, I'm a fucking idiot.
Marc:And then I started thinking, was that the only spot that they wanted to give me?
Marc:They gave Dimitri a good spot.
Marc:They gave Hannibal a nice spot at the same theater.
Marc:They gave the kids in the hall.
Marc:They gave Mike Borbiglia and Maria Bamford.
Marc:Why am I the guy who gets to go on in the middle of the night?
Marc:Is it because I'm not cute?
Marc:Is it because I'm not precious enough?
Marc:So that's what my brain started doing.
Marc:You know why?
Marc:Because I'm fucking crazy.
Marc:But it was sort of I was starting to tweak out about whether or not, you know, people would come.
Marc:And then the other festival was like, it's great.
Marc:You know, you're not competing with anything.
Marc:Yeah, except for the desire to sleep and perhaps alcohol since six or seven in the evening for some people, except for those things.
Marc:Instead of being excited to headline, I was the victim of some sort of conspiracy and no one was going to come to my show and everyone was going to be tired that came.
Marc:I'd be lucky if they didn't fall asleep midway through the show.
Marc:So I was cranky and I committed to this mindset and it did nothing.
Marc:And I was whining about it to specific people that, you know, that's like complaining about a blowjob.
Marc:You know what I'm saying?
Marc:And I love Austin.
Marc:I have a great time every time I go to Texas.
Marc:But I just get there and I've got it all in my head that somehow or another I'm fucked because I feel that coffee and perhaps sleeping bags might need to be provided for my performance and that I won't get any people in the room.
Marc:So I'm in the middle of this sort of like, oh, God, I'm fucked.
Marc:It's midnight.
Marc:What am I?
Marc:And I run into Bobcat Goldthwait who's wandering around going, oh, I got to get out of here.
Marc:I'm fucked.
Marc:So...
Marc:There's a great moment there when two cranky old men, middle-aged men, meet each other.
Marc:And they're like, ugh, I can't.
Marc:I got to go on a midnight.
Marc:He's like, yeah, I've been here for two days.
Marc:I'm going nuts.
Marc:So in that moment, that's when progress happens.
Marc:I look at Bob and I go, let's get the fuck out of here, man.
Marc:Let's drive to Opie's, man.
Marc:Let's drive to get some barbecue.
Marc:We'll go out to Opie's.
Marc:We'll have a pile of meat.
Marc:And we'll talk it through, man.
Marc:We'll talk it out.
Marc:We're just like, you know, get level, dude.
Marc:We're going to get level because I don't want to dump this anger.
Marc:I know it's irrational.
Marc:I know I'm blowing things out of proportion, that I'm being a baby.
Marc:Let's go.
Marc:Let's get in the car.
Marc:He's like, I'm in.
Marc:And so we get in the car and we just start crunching the life numbers, man.
Marc:Start talking about comedy.
Marc:Start talking about it.
Marc:age start talking about women start talking about you know what you know why we feel in the way we feel and you know just sort of it was one of those it was not a wtf it was just a couple of cranky middle-aged dudes in the car realizing that they should be nothing but grateful for the lives they have that's what you get
Marc:out of conversation with somebody else when you're not feeling well.
Marc:Before you go out and ruin everyone else's day and make yourself look like a whiny asshole, lock in with somebody else, talk it out, get it into perspective, and have a pile of meat.
Marc:That's how that works.
Marc:We get to Opie's and they love me because I talk about them because I like to go there.
Marc:See, the thing about Austin is a lot of people, they're like, you go to Franklin's, you go to Franklin's, you go to Franklin's, you go to Franklin's barbecue.
Marc:Is the experience of eating barbecue supposed to be waiting on line for three fucking hours?
Marc:Fuck that.
Marc:Look, in Austin, the meat's all pretty good.
Marc:You can go get your meat wherever you want.
Marc:And look, I know Franklin's is amazing.
Marc:I've had a bite of it.
Marc:But I'm not going to wait online for three hours.
Marc:I'm going to get in a car and I'm going to drive for 40 minutes out into the state of Texas to the flat fucking hard land.
Marc:And I'm going to come upon something that looks like a truck hanger.
Marc:A giant truck garage that says Opie's on it.
Marc:And I'm going to walk in and it's going to feel like I've earned that barbecue and I'm eating it at a place that has integrity and history.
Marc:That's what I want.
Marc:I want to travel.
Marc:I want to talk to another middle-aged man about our bullshit problems.
Marc:And, you know, I just got my cholesterol.
Marc:I got my cholesterol down 60 from exercise and supplements and diet.
Marc:So I figured, like, let's jack that shit back up again.
Marc:I really had that moment.
Marc:And I know that I don't know if it'll stick or not.
Marc:But when I ordered the barbecue, as good as it was, when it was sitting in front of me, I was like, I think this is it for this.
Marc:I think this is the last time.
Marc:I'm actually getting these feelings about a lot of things in terms of my body.
Marc:My body's like, I think we've had enough of that for a lifetime.
Marc:I think we may have had enough coffee for a lifetime.
Marc:I think the nicotine lozenges need to go.
Marc:I know all I'm getting out of these lozenges is the only thing I'm relieving is the craving for nicotine.
Marc:So, okay.
Marc:Ate a pile of meat.
Marc:And then right when I stood on that stage in that beautiful Paramount Theater, and it was empty, I was like, oh, this is going to be great no matter what.
Marc:What the fuck is wrong with you, man?
Marc:And then people started coming in, and we got about 700, 800 people in there.
Marc:It felt full, and I was thrilled.
Marc:Everyone seemed lively.
Marc:Thank you for coming if you came.
Marc:And I'm just telling you, the reason I copped to falling into the diva pit was
Marc:It was, I don't want to do that.
Marc:I don't want to be that guy.
Marc:And I was incredibly excited to be on stage, and it was a great show.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Where are we at now?
Marc:Are we ready?
Marc:Are we ready for Judy Greer?
Marc:Let's talk to her.
Judy Greer.
Marc:I don't know why I have no problem with these headphones, but people who put them on, they're always like, but does it feel good, right?
Guest:You can pull that in.
Marc:Pull the mic in.
Guest:First of all, I always have to have the mic really close to my face, and second of all, I like the feeling, the sensation of things pressing against my head.
Marc:What are you, like Temple Grandin?
Guest:Did she?
Guest:I never saw that.
Marc:She built this machine that basically kind of hugged her.
Guest:But that's an actual... I know.
Marc:But she sort of discovered it for those people that had that.
Guest:Oh, really?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Because she had this sensory issue.
Marc:And I think she was the person that invented the squeezer.
Guest:I got to see that.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I only want it on my face, though.
Marc:Oh, like your whole face or just your ears?
Guest:Mostly my forehead.
Marc:You like to have your forehead touched?
Guest:I like to have it pushed on...
Marc:Really?
Marc:Do you push up against walls?
Guest:No, I actually don't do that.
Guest:I like a hand because it covers the whole thing.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:It's comforting?
Guest:It is.
Marc:Yeah, because there's stuff going on right under there.
Guest:I feel, honestly, like if someone puts their hand on my forehead, it's like physically they're telling me in a physical way to just slow down.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Just stop it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It actually works if you just do it yourself a little.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:How's it going?
Yeah.
Guest:It's going well.
Marc:It is?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Are you shooting a movie?
Guest:I'm shooting a TV show.
Marc:Which one?
Guest:For FX.
Guest:It's called Married.
Guest:No one's ever seen it yet because it's brand new.
Marc:And it hasn't been on television yet?
Guest:No, in July it'll be on TV.
Marc:Is it your thing?
Guest:No.
Guest:My thing failed.
Guest:My thing was such a huge failure.
Guest:I did a television pilot.
Marc:Just a pilot?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But what was it called?
Guest:It was called, well, that's an interesting question because it never got far enough to have a real name.
Marc:But this is like, is this something that eats at you?
Guest:No.
Marc:Didn't you have one, another big series?
Marc:You did, right?
Guest:I had one called Misguided, but I was just an actor in it and that also failed.
Marc:See, I'm sad now.
Marc:I'm getting sad.
Guest:Don't be.
Guest:No, because everything was leading up to this moment.
Marc:This moment right here?
Marc:Oh, is that how you frame it?
Guest:Do you see?
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:When did you start applying that unique approach to, hey, it's a process, man.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:Be present.
Marc:Life is good.
Guest:Don't you have to?
Marc:I don't know how the actors do it.
Marc:I don't know how the fuck you do it.
Marc:Well, you're an actor now.
Marc:Kind of.
Guest:All right, all right.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:One audition can destroy me for weeks.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Not even the fact that whether I do well or I don't do well, just the fact that they were like, meh.
Guest:So it's the weeks after, not the weeks leading up to it.
Marc:No, it's just the idea that you're just another, obviously you're not.
Guest:No, but you are.
Guest:I am.
Marc:One is.
Marc:But people know you, but you're just trying to fill this weird thing.
Marc:It's not necessarily, it doesn't have anything to do with you.
Guest:No.
Marc:They're just sort of saying, they're basically saying like, no, you, this, the thing that you are is not what we picture for this.
Guest:But that is exactly what comforts me, actually.
Guest:It's like the fact that it doesn't have anything to do with me is what I like about it.
Guest:Because that's what I can tell myself, that it really literally had nothing to do with me.
Marc:Do you know how many things you've been in?
Guest:Not an exact number.
Marc:It's fucking crazy.
Marc:Like the last thing that I think I saw you in, now I'm looking...
Guest:was a sprint commercial last night that's right I didn't even register what the commercial was I'm like oh she's coming over tomorrow oh yeah there she is and it was right after Adam Scott did a commercial for something what was that during Mad Men maybe was he doing oh shit was that on last night
Marc:Yeah, I have no idea what's happening in it.
Guest:I stopped at Zuby Zuby Zoo because it was so good.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I need to get back on it.
Marc:On Dead Mad Men?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, I'm totally gonna get back on it.
Marc:So have you done a lot of commercials though?
Marc:Do you feel okay about them?
Guest:Yeah, I don't care about them.
Guest:Not in a bad way.
Guest:No, I haven't done a lot.
Guest:It's weird because a lot of people start their careers with doing commercials and like, oh yeah, I did tons of commercials.
Guest:Like my co-star on my TV show, Nat Facts, and he's like, oh, I've done so many commercials when I first started out.
Guest:I'm like, I'm taking the opposite approach with my career.
Guest:You're ending with commercials.
Guest:Now that I feel like I've made it, I'm going to start doing commercials.
Marc:It doesn't seem like people have a problem with it.
Marc:Do you have any, and is there any problem with it?
Guest:I certainly do not have a problem with it.
Guest:Was it a spring commercial?
Guest:Yeah, Sprint, I did an orange juice commercial also.
Marc:There was some guy in like, some guy shows up and you're talking to a guy with a beer.
Marc:That was a food product of some kind, no?
Marc:There was a- My name is Gordon.
Guest:Yeah, that's Sprint.
Marc:Oh, that's Sprint?
Guest:I talk about tacos in the Sprint commercial.
Marc:Oh, see, it wasn't an effective commercial for me.
Guest:But is it or isn't it?
Guest:Because see, the whole idea.
Guest:So these Sprint commercials are weird, and they're supposed to be, and I suppose they're copied off of these really successful Japanese commercials or something that I don't remember.
Marc:Right.
Guest:And then where Tommy Lee Jones is in them.
Marc:See, he has to go to Japan to do commercials.
Guest:I know.
Guest:He wouldn't do commercials here, will he?
Guest:No, and he's really missing out because it's way easier to work in Pasadena than Japan.
Marc:First of all.
Marc:So these are high concept Sprint commercials.
Marc:They're not necessarily about Sprint.
Guest:Right.
Marc:But they plant the seed.
Guest:Right.
Marc:I already have Sprint.
Guest:You do?
Marc:I did a Sprint commercial.
Guest:When?
Marc:Many years ago.
Guest:And so you kept it ever since?
Marc:No, I had it before that.
Marc:It was the only reason I did the commercial.
Marc:It was a freak thing.
Marc:I did a comedy show in Austin, Texas in the small room.
Marc:There was like 12 people there.
Marc:And the director of the commercial, they were looking for someone.
Marc:They saw my picture in the paper and they showed up.
Marc:It was Barbara Coppola, who was a pretty famous documentarian.
Marc:And she goes, do you want to do this thing?
Marc:And I'm like, I don't know.
Marc:What is it for?
Marc:And they're like, sprint.
Marc:I'm like, I have sprint.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:All right.
Marc:So I did one commercial.
Guest:Whoa.
Marc:For that.
Guest:That's it?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:That's the only commercial you've ever done.
Marc:The only commercial I've ever done.
Marc:I've ever tried to do.
Marc:I haven't tried to do it.
Marc:It's good money though, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So, all right.
Marc:So you wrote a book.
Guest:Yes, I totally did.
Guest:Can I sit up straight?
Guest:Will that ruin everything?
Marc:No.
Guest:Can I move my thing up?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:You're right.
Marc:It's all fucked up now.
Marc:Slouch, please.
Guest:I'm the only person to ever ruin.
Guest:What the fuck?
Marc:I'm going to sit up straight.
Marc:I never do.
Guest:You don't have to.
Guest:I just have a thing.
Marc:You feel better, right, when you sit up straight?
Guest:I have a feeling that when I, because I just ate lunch, that when I slouch, that all my organs are smashed together and then I can't get my, my food is going to get stuck in one of the,
Marc:So it's not going to make its way down.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:Well, I don't want to interrupt your process.
Marc:This is part of what you need to do.
Guest:This is what you wanted to hear.
Marc:Post eating.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So I'm a little hung up on Detroit.
Marc:Detroit's a sort of a weird obsession of mine.
Guest:Okay.
Marc:And you kind of grew up in the area.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:What was that like?
Guest:It was awesome.
Marc:It was?
Guest:Yeah, it was awesome.
Guest:I haven't been back in a really long time.
Guest:I'm trying to think.
Guest:My parents moved to Ohio.
Marc:Wow.
Guest:I know.
Marc:From Michigan to Ohio.
Guest:Who does that?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Who retires in Ohio?
Marc:Which part of Ohio?
Guest:The middle of it.
Marc:I've been sort of down on Ohio.
Marc:I've got to be chipper about Ohio.
Guest:Why?
Marc:Well, I don't know.
Marc:Ohio gets sort of a bad rap, and I sort of piled on for no reason.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:But there's some nice people in Ohio.
Marc:I just was in Cleveland for the weekend, and I had some good food and good shows.
Marc:Wow.
Guest:I had fun in Cleveland.
Guest:My dad had open heart surgery.
Marc:That sounds like a blast.
Guest:My God, the funnest week at the Cleveland Clinic.
Guest:It was real fun.
Guest:My dad is super healthy now.
Guest:So once he came out of that operation and they were like, he's going to be great.
Guest:Then my husband and I had like the best week there.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, we went to an Indians game.
Guest:We got great tickets.
Guest:We saw an awesome band called Margo and the Nuclear So-and-Sos at the Grog Shop.
Guest:Oh, yeah, Grog Shop.
Guest:Yeah, that place is dope.
Guest:We had such good meals.
Guest:But see, I grew up hanging out in Cleveland because my grandma lived in Lynnhurst, which is a suburb of Cleveland, when I was a kid.
Marc:Did you ever eat at that corned beef place?
Marc:Swyman's?
Guest:I mean, I'm going to say yes, but I can't honestly remember.
Guest:It seems like something.
Marc:I'm trying to connect with you.
Guest:I feel like we're connecting.
Guest:I do.
Guest:We don't have to have eaten at the same restaurant.
Marc:I'm a little, what do you call it?
Marc:A little charmed.
Guest:Aw, thanks.
Marc:You're very charming.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:Right?
Marc:When I saw you walking up the street, I'm like, hey, there's that lady from the thing.
Guest:There's the lady from the thing.
Guest:From all the things.
Guest:The girl from those things.
Marc:From the Descendants.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:I remember when I saw the first screening of that and when in the scene when George Clooney interrupts me and he's like, OK, OK, like everyone laughed really hard.
Guest:And it hurt my feelings the first time I saw it because I was like, fuck you guys, man.
Guest:I'm fucking like I'm really feeling something.
Guest:I'm having like a real moment.
Guest:And George is like, OK, OK.
Guest:And I was like, ah!
Guest:I'm like... Why?
Guest:Double middle fingers.
Marc:That's funny though, isn't it?
Guest:But now I think it is funny.
Guest:Because the first time you see something... Okay, I should say the first time I see something like that, I remember... I go exactly where I was emotionally...
Marc:You can recall it?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So, not forever, but, you know, it's only, like, several months to a year later.
Guest:So, I went right there, and that feeling, and then being laughed at, like, really hurt my feelings.
Guest:But now I'm glad.
Guest:I'm glad that there's a choice there.
Marc:Well, I guess it's hard to know how something's going to be contextualized.
Marc:I mean, you can read a script, and, you know, I imagine you've got to show up either way.
Marc:You didn't know it was going to be funny, but obviously it was.
Guest:No, and that's the right choice.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because you can't...
Guest:And our editor, Kevin Tent, he's the best.
Guest:And you can't go from that feeling into George saying goodbye to his wife.
Guest:Like, you have to give people a break to give them a minute.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And that's what makes him a good director.
Marc:What's it like working with that guy?
Guest:Alexander is the best.
Guest:I mean...
Marc:Alexander Payne.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:He's intense, right?
Guest:With a Y. He's really intense.
Guest:Have you ever had him on?
Guest:No.
Guest:I couldn't find him.
Guest:He's intense.
Guest:And really, he has this way of making you do exactly what he wants, but it's your idea.
Marc:I could use that in relationships.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I don't know how to do that.
Marc:That sounds like a good device.
Guest:It's a good trick.
Guest:It's a really good superpower to help.
Marc:How does he do that?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:It's like a secret.
Guest:He just has this.
Guest:I remember asking him that one scene in the hospital room because I was shooting some stuff and then I left.
Guest:I just touched something.
Guest:That's good.
Guest:I was shooting that.
Guest:I shot some stuff and then I left to go and work on another project.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then I was going to come back and do the hospital scene.
Guest:And I said, like, what do you want me to do for the hospital scene?
Guest:I want to start thinking about it, start preparing.
Guest:And he was like, just do what you did in your audition.
Guest:And.
Guest:And that was like, okay.
Marc:That was the audition scene?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I actually used all my scenes for the audition.
Guest:But then when I got there to actually do it, he wasn't joking.
Guest:I thought he's going to want something different, but he really did want that.
Marc:That's what got you the job.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But usually you do a thing in the audition and then it changes because months pass or weeks pass and...
Guest:The chemistry on set and what other people are doing and the story ends up maybe shifting the journeys different, whatever.
Guest:But no, he really, I feel like he goes into his movie knowing exactly what he wants from every single minute.
Marc:Right, right.
Marc:What was the movie where you were funny?
Guest:Oh.
Guest:The one I was funny in?
Marc:It was a little part.
Marc:I hope I'm right.
Marc:Am I right?
Guest:It's okay if you're not.
Marc:I don't know, but it was one of those movies I saw on a plane.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:The soccer coach guy.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:What was that called?
Guest:I don't remember.
Marc:You were so funny.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:Playing for keeps.
Guest:There's going to be a lot of me doing that.
Marc:Oh, you were funny in that too.
Guest:As long as it ends with you were funny, I'm happy.
Guest:Playing for keeps or playing the field, I forget.
Marc:Right.
Marc:It was like a weird movie.
Guest:Because they changed the name of it.
Marc:And you played one of the women who was... Like the weepy divorcee.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I know.
Guest:They were like, every time you cry, it's so funny.
Guest:We need you to cry more.
Guest:I was like, yeah.
Marc:So, Lyndhurst.
Marc:Your grandma lived there?
Marc:Your mom's mom?
Guest:My dad's mom and dad.
Marc:How many people are there?
Marc:How many siblings?
Guest:Zero.
Marc:You're an only child?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:The pressure.
Guest:I wrote a little essay about it in my book about being an only child.
Guest:I don't know why it's such a big deal to be an only child.
Marc:In my mind, and I've only talked to a couple of only children.
Guest:Really?
Marc:And they don't ever validate this, but I would think that there'd be extraordinary pressure to not die.
Marc:Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Marc:I don't know why I always think that, but it's sort of like, you're all we got.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:The idea that you're the only one we made.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I sure hope you don't die, and you better succeed, because we don't have no fallback, sibling.
Guest:I know.
Guest:I never felt that.
Guest:Not that my parents adore me, but I always felt like they would have easily managed without me.
Guest:I think I might have, in some ways, been a box to check off.
Guest:Like, okay, we have the careers, we have the child.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:What were their careers?
Guest:My dad was an engineer and my mom was a hospital administrator.
Marc:What kind of engineer?
Guest:He worked on axles for heavy trucks for Ford before Ford sold their heavy trucks to Freightliner, I believe.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So he was an axle guy.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:He was in charge of axles.
Marc:So that's so specific.
Marc:It's so weird when people say an engineer.
Guest:I know.
Marc:You think like bridges?
Marc:A civil engineer?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No.
Marc:Axles for heavy trucks.
Guest:And he did work on brakes a little bit.
Guest:Also a brake man.
Guest:He went, got transferred.
Guest:Axles and brakes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:now it seems like a very specific let's talk more about the axles okay like you're gonna tell me now like he didn't love brakes like he was really me axles were his thing it's what he was known for he was really he did invent something but i don't know i forgot what it was for an axle or a break it was an axle so he's known for like uh more of an axle what's your what's your dad's name he's more of an axle man yeah what's his name richard evans
Marc:Richard Evans did the, yeah, the Richard Evans Axel piece.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:He totally should have named it after my mom.
Guest:That would have been romantic.
Guest:The Molly Axel.
Marc:And your mom was always, she wasn't always in hospital administration though, right?
Guest:She was a nurse and then she kept getting promoted and then she was administrator.
Yeah.
Marc:But wait, I looked at your book, and it's a little more complicated than that.
Guest:Oh, you want to go way back with her?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, I know.
Guest:It's a good one.
Marc:Because that's crazy, man.
Guest:I know.
Guest:I know.
Guest:That she was a serial killer.
Guest:Not many people... I know, and some few people get away with that.
Marc:I'm surprised you put it in your book, because it seems like there's no statute of limitations.
Guest:Well, I wasn't going to, but when I was writing that chapter, she called me and really pissed me off, and so...
Marc:Fuck her, then.
Guest:Yeah, sorry, Mom.
Marc:I know, I wasn't supposed to say you killed my friend.
Guest:Yeah, she was a nun.
Guest:She always says that my father is the only man she's ever loved, and I'm like, yeah, but you were kind of married to Jesus first.
Guest:I mean, technically, he is your second husband.
Guest:And she's like, you stop it!
Guest:Stop it right now, Judy!
Marc:How'd you find out she was a nun, though?
Marc:Did you always know?
Guest:I don't remember not knowing.
Marc:But like, how does somebody get like, what happened?
Marc:I mean, you know, how does somebody become a nun that and stopping a nun?
Marc:I know you only know so much about your mom, but I mean, what was that?
Guest:So she became a nun.
Guest:She said because she felt guilty because her older sister got pregnant when she was 16.
Guest:Yeah, this could be TMI, but whatever.
Guest:um that's the that's the uh the subheading of my show yeah so i um so she yeah so her older sister was was was pregnant and my grandmother was broken hearted very religious family by the way big catholic family in ohio and so my mom decided to join the convent because she thought to make up for it yeah so she went to the convent did her sister have the child
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, my cousin.
Marc:That's what Catholics do.
Guest:They do.
Marc:Did your cousin turn out okay?
Marc:Is everything all right?
Guest:I forget which cousin it is.
Guest:It's either, I think it's Marianne.
Guest:No, no.
Guest:Yeah, it's Karen.
Guest:Karen's awesome.
Marc:Oh, good.
Guest:Karen's awesome, actually.
Marc:Worked out.
Guest:She's great.
Marc:Good.
Guest:Anyhow, she came to visit me when I was doing my play in New York City, and that was so cool.
Marc:Which play?
Guest:I did a Broadway play called Dead Accounts.
Marc:When was that?
Guest:A year ago.
Marc:Was that fun?
Guest:So awesome.
Marc:Are you used to the stage?
Guest:Well, I trained in theater, like for real theater.
Guest:But I haven't done much of it since I moved out here because, you know, they don't like it, these Hollywood types.
Guest:It doesn't make much money for them.
Marc:Nope.
Marc:I mean, there is some theater here, but I never go.
Guest:No, who does?
Marc:I know.
Marc:It's not vital.
Guest:Unless it comes here from somewhere else and there's a famous person in it.
Guest:And then people who are competitive with New York will be like, well, did you go see the thing at the place?
Guest:And you're like, no, I didn't.
Marc:It's like a cultural responsibility.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You feel like you have to.
Guest:Otherwise, you can't complain about how there's no culture in L.A.
Marc:So to make up for her sister's transgression, she joins the convent.
Guest:She does.
Guest:She joins the convent for high school.
Guest:She marries Jesus.
Guest:She stays a nun for four years.
Guest:And then she gets kicked out.
Marc:Kicked out of the nunnery.
Guest:She did because she said the mother superior felt she would better serve the Lord in a more secular environment.
Marc:She's a troublemaker.
Guest:She's a troublemaker.
Guest:Yeah, what'd she do?
Guest:Because she wasn't supposed to be a nun.
Marc:It wasn't her calling.
Guest:No.
Guest:She said she never heard a calling, which of course she didn't.
Marc:Because she just was trying to help her mom.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:It was a calling of codependency.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was the codependent call.
Guest:Wait, you just, like, a lot of pieces just came together in my head for me right now.
Marc:Like what?
Guest:Like, yeah, that's totally where I get it.
Marc:What, codependency?
Guest:Dawesville, USA, mayor of Judy Greer.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Marc:You're a big CODA person?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I might be.
Marc:Yeah?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Well, I mean, I think it's a Catholic thing.
Marc:It's a guilt thing.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:If you grow up with that stuff, you're like, oh, I just want to help this person who's unhelpable.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I'd like to get involved in this situation that I have no control over and try to manage it.
Guest:But isn't it also super narcissistic to think that you can actually help another person through a big problem?
Yeah.
Marc:I think so.
Marc:You don't know that when you're doing it because a lot of people, it is self-centered.
Marc:I don't know if it's narcissistic, but it's sort of like they're presenting themselves as these givers, but really they're doing it really for themselves.
Guest:Right, to like make, yes, I know.
Marc:To control the situation or be the hero or the rescuer.
Marc:Yeah, to save someone.
Marc:Yeah, but it doesn't always work out that way.
Guest:It never does.
Marc:Well, when did you get married?
Guest:Two-ish, a little over two years ago.
Marc:So it's new.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And how's that going?
Guest:I'm into it.
Marc:Yeah?
Guest:I gotta say, I don't think I would like it if I didn't like my husband so much.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I can see how being married to the wrong person...
Marc:Yeah, it's good to marry someone you like.
Guest:Would make you want to kill yourself.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Or make your life miserable.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But like I totally married the exact perfect person.
Guest:So I love it.
Marc:Good.
Guest:Like I would recommend marrying Dean Johnson.
Guest:I can't say I would recommend marrying anyone else.
Marc:I hear he's off the market.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Oh, so.
Guest:For now.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Well, you know, try and keep it together.
Guest:Yeah, I'm going to.
Marc:So were you brought up with this Catholicism business?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, I was, but I thought it was kind of dumb, so I left.
Guest:I asked my parents after my first communion, I think I was around 10 years old, if I could leave the Catholic Church, which was weird for my mom because she was like, what do you mean?
Guest:I said, I just don't want to do my confirmation.
Guest:I think these people are losers.
Guest:I hate it so much, and all my friends go to this other church.
Guest:What kind of church was that?
Guest:It was a Presbyterian church.
Marc:I don't even know what the difference is.
Marc:I know Catholic's sort of heavy.
Marc:There's a lot of ritual.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And Presbyterian, I don't know.
Guest:It felt at the time, I guess, well, I didn't know.
Guest:It felt a little more like closing your eyes and raising your hands up.
Marc:The Catholics or the Presbyterians?
Guest:The Presbyterians.
Marc:So you like the action of it?
Guest:I just wanted to be in the choir because there was more cute boys there than in the Catholic, like in the catechism classes.
Guest:So I went with my friend and then I didn't have to actually go to church because I could be in the choir.
Guest:So it was like that.
Marc:So it was performance oriented.
Guest:I guess so.
Marc:And boy oriented.
Guest:Although my choir director told me I couldn't carry a tune if it was in a bucket.
Guest:He said I was a terrible singer.
Marc:Are you?
Guest:Yes.
Yes.
Marc:You can't do it?
Guest:No.
Guest:I can do it sometimes in a character.
Guest:I can sound like Ethel Merman a little bit, but no, I can't sing well at all.
Marc:Okay, but this is when you're outside of Detroit.
Marc:Did you get any sense of that?
Marc:Was that city a fun city?
Marc:I'm fascinated with the fact that it's just fallen away.
Guest:Have you been?
Guest:No.
Marc:I've only been outside of Detroit.
Marc:I've not been inside of Detroit.
Marc:I've done some shows sort of where you grew up, I think, which is where?
Guest:Livonia.
Marc:Yeah, there's a rock club, I think, called The Music Box.
Marc:It's on that main drag that runs all the way into Detroit, all the way through.
Guest:Okay.
Marc:But I didn't actually get into the city.
Guest:No, okay.
Marc:Because it seemed like where I was, there were still people with money and things were functioning.
Guest:Maybe you were in Royal Oak.
Marc:Yeah, maybe that was where it was.
Guest:Because Royal Oak is kind of like cool.
Guest:At least when I was there, that was like the Silver Lake of Detroit.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Like in Royal Oak.
Marc:But you never go back.
Guest:Well, I would.
Guest:I just don't ever have time to go.
Guest:And if I go there, I kind of have to go see my parents, you know?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then like I was gonna go.
Guest:There was a big music festival last Labor Day at Meadowbrook.
Guest:And then there was, and then the Tigers were playing at home.
Marc:Are you a baseball person?
Yeah.
Guest:adjacent i like the tigers the husband likes baseball he loves it he fucking loves it man like if you can't beat him join him i don't even know what to do like i've just been like okay so so i'm excited about d gordon he's my new favorite dodger i've decided last year i watched him he went up he went back down he came up he went back down then he hit a home run last week so i'm like
Marc:So you can lock into one player at least.
Guest:Yeah, that's kind of fun for me.
Guest:But now, of course, who can you lock into in Los Angeles when you can't even watch a game?
Marc:I don't know what you're talking about.
Guest:Because only Time Warner shows the games now.
Marc:Why don't you just go down the street?
Guest:Well, actually, I know.
Guest:I have Time Warner, but my husband doesn't, and my stepson doesn't, and it's become a problem.
Marc:What, you live in different places?
Guest:We have two different houses.
Marc:Are you telling me the truth?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:We do spend the night together somewhere, but we don't- In a third location?
Guest:We have like a conjugal visit trailer between the two houses.
Guest:I'm kidding.
Guest:I'm kidding about the trailer.
Guest:So I have a house that I had when I met him, and then he has a house that he had when he met me.
Guest:So we didn't change that setup.
Marc:Okay, well, this seems unorthodox, but interesting.
Marc:So that seems like almost the perfect situation.
Guest:Yeah, it works out pretty well.
Marc:So do you sleep together every night?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, like once in a while, more before we got married.
Guest:Once we got married, I was like, I'm going to try to spend every night with him.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Because we're married.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But like every once in a blue moon, we won't spend the night together.
Marc:Because?
Guest:Because his house that he has is very far away and he has two children.
Guest:So when he has his kids, the week that he has his kids and it's so super far away, if I have like a thing in L.A.
Guest:or I have to get up really early.
Marc:Do you live in another state?
Guest:It feels like it.
Guest:It's in Ventura County.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:It's Thousand Oaks.
Marc:Right, out in the valley.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And you live here in town.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And you're married and you live in separate houses.
Guest:I mean, you know.
Guest:I don't want it to sound like we don't live together because we are together.
Guest:We just haven't cohabitated.
Marc:Ever.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But I really feel like this is going to solve the seven year itch problem because... So you're looking ahead.
Guest:When the seven-year itch happens, if that's really a thing, we will be moving in together for the first time because his son will then go away to college and then we can just have one house together.
Marc:Or someone will be moving someone else into the houses that you still own.
Guest:Potentially.
Marc:It could go either way.
Marc:And either way, it's going to be less aggravating.
Guest:It's true.
Marc:Wow, the seven year itch is really true.
Marc:And this is John.
Guest:And he just moved into my house.
Guest:And he's going to be living here with me.
Guest:And you can still come by if you want.
Marc:Keep your key.
Marc:So it does have a lot to do with the kids.
Guest:It has a lot to do with the kids and the commute.
Marc:And you get along with the kids.
Guest:I love them.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Yeah, they're totally awesome.
Marc:Do you leave his house and then just go hang out at yours for the day?
Guest:No.
Guest:No, not if we have our kids for the week.
Guest:I used to when we were first together.
Guest:Sometimes I would ride in to work with him and just spend the day at my house.
Guest:But I don't really do it as much anymore now.
Marc:Do you think it's going to come to a point where you're like, I don't need this house anymore?
Guest:No.
Guest:I really like my little house.
Guest:I do.
Guest:I'm an only child.
Guest:I like having my space.
Marc:And this was a discussion you had with him before.
Guest:I guess we've always tried to figure out a way that it made sense for us to live in one house, and we kind of can't, unless we lived in his house in Thousand Oaks, in which case we would have a three-hour commute every other week
Guest:when we didn't have his kids when they were living at their mom's house you know what i mean but there was never the conversation of like well you must not you this is like a backup plan no oh good okay no we never had that actually that's funny because we never yeah it never came up that like you just don't want to get rid of your house because you don't know
Marc:Oh, well, that's good.
Guest:In fact, most of the time I'm like, I can't do this anymore.
Guest:We have to just move to Thousand Oaks.
Guest:And he'll be like, no, you can.
Guest:You can do it.
Guest:It's okay.
Marc:Yeah, you can stay in your house.
Guest:Believe me, I want you to.
Marc:It's good for me.
Marc:Hint, hint.
Marc:I need some space.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:Well, I like it.
Marc:I like that it's unorthodox and I like that you're okay with it.
Guest:Yeah, it's working.
Guest:I mean, I have a lot of crap in my car all the time, but it's working.
Marc:Yeah, there's always, yeah.
Guest:There's always the shoes.
Marc:It looks like, yeah, you're going camping or on a trip.
Guest:I mean, it's like you get, I mean, remember like my first few years having boyfriends and like you like have a bag in your car all the time of like stuff, you know?
Guest:And then you're like, yay, I own a house and I'm getting married.
Guest:I'm not going to end.
Guest:Now I'm back to like the bag in my car.
Guest:I'm like, yeah.
Guest:Don't rob me, by the way.
Guest:There's like everything I care about.
Guest:It's usually in my car.
Marc:I think we'll be okay during the day.
Guest:Now I'm nervous.
Marc:Should we go check your car?
Guest:I don't want to.
Guest:No, it's cool.
Marc:Okay, so you're growing up in Detroit.
Marc:You're singing in the choir badly.
Marc:You like boys.
Guest:I do.
Marc:Your mother's no longer a nun.
Marc:No.
Marc:Your dad's working on axles.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:You got no brothers or sisters.
Guest:No.
Marc:And when do you decide you're a show person?
Oh.
Guest:There was many years of being a terrible ballet dancer, in addition to being a terrible singer.
Marc:So you're a bad ballet dancer, you're a bad singer, and you were awkward.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And I wasn't cute.
Guest:Terrible dancer, and there was a- I'd like to see you dance terribly.
Guest:That would be hilarious.
Guest:I'll send you some videos.
Marc:You should be a terrible dancer in a series.
Marc:I've just decided that.
Marc:Like a woman who has decided that she's done with trying to... She's done with her work.
Marc:She doesn't want to do what she was doing.
Marc:And she's going to recommit to being a ballet dancer at your age.
Marc:Even though she wasn't that great to begin with.
Guest:But it's her passion.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I ran into some dancers at a pizza place in Hollywood and they were like, you should come and take class with us.
Guest:And I was like, it's never going to happen.
Guest:They're like, no, I swear it's going to be great.
Guest:I'm like, no, I'm so bad.
Guest:And I took one ballet class when I moved to LA because I was like, I used to dance.
Guest:I should do this for exercise.
Guest:And the teacher was awful.
Guest:It was like PTSD, like ballet PTSD.
Guest:So I just could never...
Guest:But I remember being a kid and I kind of knew I was sucky.
Guest:And I remember people always, you know, when you're a kid, people are like, you can be anything you want to be.
Guest:You can do anything you put your mind to.
Guest:And even as a small child, I was like, bullshit, man.
Guest:Like, I can never be a ballet dancer.
Guest:Like, I'll never be a professional ballet dancer.
Marc:Was your heart broken?
Guest:No, it wasn't.
Marc:Isn't it so weird and so sort of like predictable that, you know, that little girls want to be ballet dancers and the actual possibility of having a career as a ballet dancer is so small.
Guest:It's ridiculous.
Guest:And like, I don't understand why when I, like people are like sending their kids to dance class.
Guest:I'm like, send them to fucking like yoga class or like, like breaking into car class, like a mechanic class.
Guest:Like I don't, I get like wanting your kids to have like some athletic.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But like, I don't know.
Guest:Ballet fucks up your whole body and no one is good at it.
Marc:Was it your choice or your parents?
No.
Guest:I think it was a little of both because I had tried a lot of other things that weren't really sticking.
Guest:I'm not sporty.
Guest:I'm not musical.
Guest:So soccer was bad.
Guest:I signed up for hockey but never actually went because it was very early in the morning.
Guest:And then all the instruments, terrible.
Guest:I was terrible at them all.
Guest:What did you try?
Guest:Piano and flute.
Guest:Flute?
Guest:It's portable.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And you couldn't do it?
Guest:It's terrible.
Guest:I was good at spitting the rice.
Guest:They teach you how to play the flute by putting, they tell you to put like a piece of rice on your tongue and you're like this.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And that's how you like breathe into your flute.
Guest:That was the only thing I was really good at.
Marc:Could you make noise with the flute?
Guest:not really so you couldn't even base you can i don't remember however playing a song like an actual song on the flute so no so you had to return the flute you rented flew went back piano got sold i mean i played piano for a lot like six years like that was my mom's obsession was that i was gonna play the piano and i was gonna be like awesome at the piano but i was never gonna be good at the piano
Guest:I was terrible at the piano.
Guest:And it was just like, we would fight and fight and fight about it because I hated it so much.
Guest:And I think, why would you make me do something that I hate so much?
Guest:And it just makes you mad.
Guest:You're setting both of us up to fail.
Guest:You're mad at me.
Guest:I'm hurt by you.
Guest:Dad's upset because there's a lot of bad energy in the house.
Guest:It makes no sense.
Guest:Don't make me do it anymore.
Marc:And there's piano being played badly on top of everything.
Guest:Yeah, and then she would play it and it would sound good.
Guest:And then it would just say, it breaks my heart.
Guest:Breaks my heart that you don't practice.
Marc:But she didn't rejoin the convent over your inability to play piano.
Guest:No, she did not.
Guest:No.
Marc:She said it breaks her heart.
Guest:It breaks her heart.
Guest:Breaks her heart.
Guest:Anyway, so then it was like, how about...
Marc:That's a lot of pressure.
Guest:Fucking ballet class.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Carol Smith is going to ballet class.
Guest:Why don't I just go with her to Miss Bunny's school of dance?
Marc:Miss Bunny.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And I was okay at it.
Guest:And so then they made me go to like, it wasn't necessarily my parents' fault, but it wasn't enough for me to be like, okay.
Guest:Then it was like, well, we finally found this thing that she can do.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So now she's got to be fucking awesome at it.
Marc:So then I start going-
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Then I had to go to Miss Milligan School of Ballet, which was way more serious.
Guest:And that's when I learned that I was really terrible at it.
Guest:Anyway, this is a long answer to how I ended up acting.
Guest:That's how I ended up acting because I was like sort of already performing on stage and there was acting classes.
Marc:In a comedic way, apparently.
Guest:I mean, like it was not, it was so apparent that even like in the ballets that we would do, there was always like a comedic dancey role that I would get.
Marc:You would be the one?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But when did you first do the acting?
Marc:What are you drinking?
Marc:Is it iced tea?
Guest:It's ice green tea.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Guest:My barista today had those ear stretcher things on.
Marc:What, their circles?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:What's that?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:It's kind of a neo-primitive thing.
Marc:I think a lot of that stuff is just something they can play with for a while.
Marc:It takes a while to kind of grow that hole and do that thing, and it's a little OCD-ish.
Guest:And then what?
Marc:Then you're a guy with those things.
Guest:Okay.
Marc:That's the big payoff.
Marc:That's the payoff?
Marc:Oh, you got those things.
Marc:Your hole is huge.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:I'm hoping in a year my hole will be that big.
Marc:That's the conversation.
Marc:And it's really one of the only areas that you want to have that conversation.
Guest:It's true.
Guest:You don't want to have the big old conversation about anything but an earlobe.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That's the only place it's good and even that's arguable.
Guest:I'm going to think about this on the drive home and I'm going to agree with you still.
Marc:Bragging about enlarging your hole.
Marc:So when did you first do the acting business?
Guest:Oh, that was high school.
Guest:There was like an acting program.
Guest:There was an arts program and they had like a little acting section.
Guest:So I did that.
Marc:And what were you, were you always, did you know that you had the comedic chops to be funny or were you more?
Guest:No, I didn't know.
Guest:I didn't, I just, nothing's been planned.
Marc:I know, but you're very specifically funny and you're very memorable always.
Guest:Thank you.
Marc:Because of who you are, like, and you're uniquely who you are.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I guess there's no way you could really know that in high school.
Marc:So you were just doing the thing, the plays that you do in high school.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like I did Walter Mitty and I did some musicals as the chorus in the chorus match.
Marc:The one who you were the one in the chorus that was not carrying the tune?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I got one role once where I was Gladys in the pajama game, and I had a solo, which gave me so much anxiety.
Guest:But the guy who I was dancing with, Jeff something, he was humming the tune into my ear so that I could sing it right.
Marc:Really?
Guest:But they could hear him in the microphone.
Marc:So you acted in high school, and then where did you go to college?
Guest:DePaul, theater school at DePaul University.
Marc:Was there ever a point where you're like angry and brooding and drinking too much?
Guest:Was there ever a point?
Guest:Today?
Guest:What are you talking about?
Guest:Not yet today.
Marc:So you're just, this is what, this is your public persona?
Guest:No, I just, I mean, I feel this way, but I think you can be like this and also be angry and dark and brooding.
Guest:I mean, I, yeah.
Marc:Like you were angry and dark and brooding in theater school?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, that's fucking great.
Guest:I was pretty angry and dark and brooding on Friday.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Last Friday too.
Marc:What happened?
Guest:I just had a long fucking two weeks, man.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was just, like, a long two weeks.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was so close to being over.
Guest:I was, like, so... Just, like, a lot of stuff.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And, like, I was just stressed out.
Guest:And I am, like, a baby who needs sleep.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And I just hadn't had a lot of sleep.
Marc:Were you, like, lashing out?
Marc:Were you being a diva?
Guest:No.
Guest:It's only... It's, like, to my husband.
Guest:Oh.
Guest:Like, unfortunately, he gets...
Guest:and does he help you i just go to a dark place he does yeah you let him help you yeah yeah because i don't you don't just go to your house no no i totally could that's what's so great about it see i don't have you're not helping me either i'm going home uber um not even gonna drive my stuff yeah i mean the thing is if you can go to your own place sometimes that's enough
Marc:mm-hmm it is i believe that you don't have to all right so you're dark and you're smoking you drink you drinking yeah yeah getting fucked up in theater school oh yeah who isn't i don't i didn't go but i mean i got fucked up in regular school i think you have to get fucked up in college were you trying to do were you trying to be something yes what here's the truth yeah i i had finally get to it i
Guest:Now, what time is it?
Guest:Okay, I have to go.
Guest:The truth is that I feel like I had a great childhood.
Guest:I didn't have terrible, horrible things happen to me or anyone I knew.
Guest:It was nice.
Guest:It was middle class, fine, good, all that stuff.
Guest:And I think I went through a phase where I needed to be self-destructive in order to find some art and
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And also find out, you know, what you're made of.
Guest:Maybe.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like, you know, I just I couldn't just be like, hi, I'm Judy.
Guest:It's nice to meet you.
Guest:You know, like I wanted to be a little gritty, a little dirty.
Guest:You want to like if you're acting, you know, especially you're like, oh, I want to find out like what it's like to go to the dark place or because I don't really know.
Marc:Where'd you go?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:There was a bar called Molly.
Guest:No, that's here.
Guest:What was the place we went to?
Guest:I was like, shoes pub.
Guest:No, I don't know.
Guest:I still don't really know.
Marc:What were you doing?
Guest:The stuff everyone does.
Guest:You drink, you smoke cigarettes constantly, you don't sleep, sabotage schoolwork, don't work.
Marc:Bad guys?
Marc:Bad guys?
Guest:I went through a bad guy phase, but that was more when I moved here.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:More when I moved here was like the bad guy phase.
Marc:What kind of roles were you doing in college?
Marc:What were you gravitating towards?
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:Well, I played a nine-year-old boy with AIDS.
Guest:I played a eunuch who was bald, but I refused to shave my head, so they just gave me a really weird blunt haircut.
Guest:I played Marilyn Monroe in a play.
Guest:I played...
Guest:Oh, God.
Guest:I mean, I did a lot of plays.
Guest:I played Helen of Troy in a classroom production, which probably was really terrible.
Marc:But you feel like you got pretty good training?
Marc:Was it a four-year program?
Guest:Yeah, it was.
Guest:My parents were really excited that I was going to get a bachelor's degree.
Marc:In anything.
Guest:Right.
Guest:That was important to them.
Guest:And I kept saying, but you guys don't understand.
Guest:All I do is act.
Guest:This will do nothing for me in the world.
Marc:So you're trying to make them unproud?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:They were like, this is great.
Guest:You're going to get a bachelor's degree of fine arts.
Guest:And I'm like, yeah, but it's not going to make me able to do anything.
Marc:Why were you arguing with them?
Guest:Because I wanted them to know.
Marc:So you were rebelling.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:My mom told me recently, and I have no recollection of this, that I said I was leaving school.
Guest:I have no memory of this at all, that I was going to leave acting school and transfer.
Guest:I don't know what.
Guest:I don't know what I ever would have done.
Marc:Maybe it was a crisis of confidence.
Guest:It might have been.
Guest:I mean, I got warned every year.
Guest:Like, they would warn me that I was going to get kicked out.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Because my school is this kind where you go and they cut your class in half after a year.
Guest:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, it was like that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Once you get to your third year, you're safe.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But then after first year and second year, I was always on warning that, like, you're going to be cut.
Guest:Why?
Guest:Because the thing they always said was my voice, which is...
Guest:Maybe a little ironic that I'm on a show called Archer where it's all about my voice.
Guest:But they said it was my voice, my vocal quality, and my accent.
Guest:Being very Midwestern.
Marc:Fuck them.
Guest:You know what?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because what was funny is that
Guest:I did the changes I thought I needed to make to stay in school because then it became like a competition.
Guest:And I was like, oh, no, fuck you.
Guest:I'm not getting kicked out of the school.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But then as soon as I got to L.A., what everyone liked about me here, what I was what was so welcoming, like the people loved my Midwesternness.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They loved like the Midwestern qualities that I had in my accent and all that.
Marc:Isn't that fucking amazing?
Guest:Just be yourself.
Marc:Yeah.
Yeah.
Marc:that's all you have to do and you had some you know you were confident in your ability to be on stage and and do yeah so okay and i was confident and not doing well because like i kind of had already not done well but what year did you come out here 98 97 so you started working right away yeah how did that happen how'd you get an agent how'd you like what was the transition
Guest:I got an agent in Chicago.
Guest:I... Why were you in Chicago?
Guest:Because that's where my school was.
Marc:That's where that school is?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:DePaul?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Did you do any Second City stuff or any of that stuff?
Guest:No, I've never even been to Second City.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Isn't that so dumb?
Marc:No, I haven't either.
Guest:Like this whole... You haven't?
Guest:Mm-mm.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:I mean, some people... Now you mention Chicago.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:That's the story in Chicago.
Marc:You didn't do any of that shit.
Guest:None.
Marc:No groundlings, no improv, no nothing.
Marc:No.
Marc:Straight up acting.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Marc:And you get an agent in Chicago.
Marc:How'd that happen?
Marc:They came to a showcase at the school or what?
Guest:I was walking down the street.
Marc:One of these stories?
Marc:Really?
Guest:Classic?
Guest:I was walking down the street in Chicago and I was wearing a very, very cool looking, well, cool at the time, blue raincoat.
Guest:And this lady was walking down the street on the other side of the street and she saw me and she ran across the street and she was like, short story, like basically like,
Guest:you're cool looking.
Guest:I'm an agent.
Guest:I want to represent you.
Guest:Really?
Guest:And I was like, that's good news because I'm about to graduate from acting school in a couple weeks and I'm totally going to need an agent.
Marc:So that was it?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:You had no idea what she was capable of or if she represented anybody or if she was legitimate?
Guest:Yes.
Marc:You just said, great.
Guest:sign me up but then she very quickly soon after that she left agenting to join agenting to join the fbi and i started working with a different agent in chicago she was like gonna be an fbi agent which was not the kind of agent
Guest:I can't believe that joke never occurred to me until right now.
Guest:So it turns out having an FBI agent isn't super helpful when you want to be an actor.
Guest:Not going to help you in show business.
Guest:So then I got another agent in Chicago.
Guest:Because once you get one, you can kind of, in Chicago anyway.
Marc:But how did that translate here?
Guest:So I got some acting jobs in Chicago.
Guest:I got a movie.
Guest:My first ever acting job was called Kissing a Fool with David Schwimmer and Mili Avital and Jason Lee and Doug Allen wrote it and directed it.
Guest:And I flew myself here for the premiere of it.
Marc:And when I came here- They casted it in Chicago?
Yeah.
Guest:They casted like little parts in Chicago.
Guest:Was it shot in Chicago?
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I flew here for the premiere.
Guest:And it was coincidentally during pilot season.
Guest:So an agent said she would hip pocket me while I was here.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Nancy Schmidt was her name.
Guest:Maybe, probably still is.
Guest:And she sent me on auditions and then I got a pilot and a movie.
Guest:So I never went back to Chicago.
Guest:It's a terrible story.
Guest:You can't even really... I should...
Guest:It's bad to tell to people wanting to be an actor.
Guest:Because people are like, how do I get an agent?
Guest:And I'm like, I have no fucking clue.
Marc:You have to have blue raincoat.
Guest:Turns out.
Guest:And I have it if anyone wants to borrow it.
Guest:Good luck.
Marc:So you had some lucky breaks.
Guest:Yeah, I did.
Marc:And obviously you had the talent to sort of follow through.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And that's when it just started happening.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Because you've done like, Jesus.
Guest:I've worked a lot.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I know.
Marc:I mean, that's the title of your book.
Marc:I don't know what you know me from.
Guest:I know.
Marc:I like that title.
Guest:It is great.
Marc:But you were doing a lot of bit parts.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I still do, by the way.
Marc:I know, but you shine.
Marc:It's great to have a bit part that really kind of you're able to work with.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I don't know if they're bit parts.
Marc:They may be supporting parts.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But you're a go-to person for that comedic.
Marc:You're so loaded up with who you are.
Guest:I'm loaded.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:I'm loaded with Judy.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:So you're like, they know exactly what they're getting.
Marc:We need to punctuate this with Judy.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Put Judy in.
Guest:Or someone like her.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And then I'm like, I'll do it.
Guest:I'll totally do it.
Marc:But you're happy with your career?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Marc:You still got a lot to go.
Guest:I know.
Guest:I mean, who knows what's next?
Guest:I mean, I've got stuff coming out I'm so excited about.
Guest:Like what?
Guest:Like, well, I mean, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.
Guest:Are you kidding?
Marc:You're a big Planet of the Apes fan.
Guest:I kind of am now.
Guest:Again, it's a little like the baseball.
Guest:It started with husband and I did it for him and now I'm super into it.
Marc:What do you mean you did it for him?
Guest:I did the movie for him because he loves more than anything Planet of the Apes.
Guest:And he was like, oh my God.
Guest:After he saw Rise, he was like, oh my God, what if you could be an ape in the next one?
Guest:What if you could play an ape?
Guest:And I was like, I'll play an ape.
Guest:I don't fucking care.
Marc:So you sought out the ape.
Guest:I called my agent.
Guest:I was like, when they're doing the sequel of this, can I be in it?
Guest:And he was like, sure.
Guest:And I can't remember if I told him at the time I wanted to be an ape, but he called and he was like, they are casting one role.
Guest:There's like only one role left over to, to be cast, but it's as an ape.
Guest:I'm like, oh yes, that's sorry.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:That's what I want to be an ape.
Guest:So he was like, okay, they're going to pay you $10.
Guest:I'm like, great.
Guest:It's fine.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:i'm doing it for my husband yeah so i had to audition for it so they like gave me a scene that i read as a human just to see that i could act oh my god and then and then the next day i had to drive out to the valley where they the apes were training yeah this like parkour warehouse where these so you had to learn how to walk and talk like an ape or no walk anyways right well
Guest:I walked.
Guest:I don't talk.
Guest:I do vocalize here and there, you know, because I breathe and stuff.
Marc:There's no talking.
Marc:You're just an ape ape.
Guest:I mean, you know, yes, I just ape.
Guest:I just ape.
Guest:So I had to do this audition for Terry Notary, who's like the ape guru, where for like two hours, I just like, I mean, literally like monkeyed around.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:like I learned how to sit up and stand down and walk as an ape run and I wore these like they're called quad arms they're basically like half crutches that you hold on to and so you can walk on all fours and run on all fours and I did some improvs he would like kind of guide me through these scenes what kind of vocalizations do you have to do like like kind of ape breathing you know like that kind of stuff
Marc:There's no other noises?
Guest:I can't remember making.
Guest:I made some noises, some sad noises, some pain noises, but not really, yeah.
Marc:Just a lot of the breathing.
Guest:A lot of the breathing.
Marc:Now, how far has your husband gone?
Marc:Is he like a plushy guy?
Marc:No.
No.
Guest:Well, I don't know.
Guest:We haven't tried that yet.
Marc:We'll see.
Marc:Who knows what's going to happen once you get in the ape costume?
Guest:Well, it's not.
Guest:That's the thing.
Guest:It's motion capture, so he'll never... There's no ape makeup anymore?
Guest:Mm-mm.
Marc:Oh, those days are gone?
Guest:They are.
Guest:God damn it.
Guest:I know.
Guest:It's a drag.
Marc:Did you want to sit in makeup for nine hours?
Guest:I didn't.
Guest:Well, I didn't.
Guest:But I would have done, of course.
Guest:But I was... I was happy that I didn't have to.
Guest:But then...
Guest:Walking around in like my Velcro unitard with like the camera attached to my head and like the battery pack.
Guest:Grunting and breathing.
Guest:It was, I was like, maybe I wish I had the ape makeup on because I feel like it would have at least given me a little more confidence.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:You didn't have to be like embarrassed and ashamed to be.
Guest:Yeah, which I only really was like my first day on set.
Guest:I was so nervous because it's scary because like they'd already been shooting for so long and like all the other apes were so good and like they were so.
Marc:You're in a room against a green screen and everyone's wearing.
Guest:They were all wearing the Velcro.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Why Velcro?
Guest:I just so that all the sensors.
Guest:Oh, OK.
Guest:I kept calling them lasers.
Guest:And like the Weta guys were like, they're sensors, Judy.
Guest:I'm like, I don't know.
Guest:Lasers.
Guest:And they stick to the Velcro.
Guest:It's kind of awesome.
Guest:I'm excited about that.
Guest:I haven't seen anything yet.
Guest:I really can't wait.
Marc:um but okay so wait you've worked with so many different directors i know it's crazy you i'm trying to remember who you were in three kings because i love that movie did you remember in the beginning of the movie when george is boning a girl yeah that's me oh there she is you and cluny go back
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was another one of my earlier jobs.
Guest:And that was my scene in that.
Guest:And then, yeah, we got to work together again on The Descendants, which was awesome.
Marc:And you worked with David O. Russell, who's notoriously intense.
Guest:He is intense.
Marc:I was very diplomatic in my word choice.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:I have not spoken to him since that movie and not on purpose.
Guest:It's just the way it... I just haven't, like... And he hasn't called you in for anything.
No.
Guest:No.
Guest:What's up with that?
Marc:Yeah, right?
Guest:No, but I loved working with him on Three Kings.
Marc:And he worked with Spike on Adaptation.
Guest:Yeah, Adaptation.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:He's a great guy.
Guest:He is.
Marc:I wish I could interview him, but he doesn't like to talk, apparently.
Guest:Really?
Marc:He's not a big talker about himself.
Guest:Oh.
Marc:He worked with Cameron on Elizabethtown, but I don't know if anyone saw that movie.
Yeah.
Guest:I did.
Marc:How was that?
Guest:Well, I liked it, but I feel really personal about my job sometimes, so I think I'm not the greatest person to ask.
Guest:I really liked, there was sort of two plot lines happening in that movie, and there was one plot line that I really, really loved.
Guest:And the other, I thought, was fine.
Marc:Right.
Marc:I mean, I got to watch it.
Marc:I like Cameron Cry.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:A small part in Almost Famous.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And he's been sort of like for a while there, we were going back and forth and he was thinking about coming and doing the show.
Marc:And then it's just, I have a hard time getting directors.
Marc:I don't know why.
Marc:Why?
Marc:I don't know why.
Marc:It's like out of everybody, they have the most to talk about.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I just interviewed the Reitman boys, Jason and Ivan, last week.
Guest:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:And I interviewed Noah Baumbach.
Guest:Jason's great.
Guest:I just did his last latest movie.
Marc:Labor Day?
Guest:Pale Blue Dot.
Marc:Oh, the one that's in post?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Is it good?
Guest:I think it's going to be amazing.
Marc:But Arrested Development is something a lot of people know you from.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:And that's hilarious.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And you got to work with a lot of funny people.
Guest:Oh my God.
Marc:And is that the one that most people are like, eh, Arrested Development?
Guest:I think it is right now, yeah.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:Yeah, and being on that set makes me feel so unfunny because they are all so funny all the time that I feel like I'm the most boring, basic bitch.
Guest:I am such a basic bitch on that set.
Guest:But whatever.
Marc:There are some funny people there.
Guest:Dude.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Doing scenes, I mean, they're so funny.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Who is the one that you have the hardest time with in terms of not losing your shit?
Guest:In the beginning, Will.
Guest:I mean, just also because he was so like I met him or anything.
Guest:And I just it was like he was new to me and so fucking funny and so like committed, like never so committed to the role of Job.
Guest:yeah i don't like i don't even but now when i go back and watch the episodes like i just die over buster like tony is like now and then watching him on veep like i can't he's so fucking funny yeah it's amazing right yes and dave cross is hilarious and then like jason and his like deadpan staring
Guest:He's something, huh?
Guest:Just like the way he stares at you.
Guest:It's fun to be Kitty Sanchez around him because like he just stares me down and I can't.
Guest:I laugh.
Guest:I think I've been told I laugh during every take.
Guest:Like editors have said like there wasn't one take that you didn't laugh during.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But it's interesting because like you do.
Marc:I mean, you're just like a hardworking actress.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, you do episodic a lot.
Marc:You show up everywhere.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:You did.
Marc:What was the Glenn Martin DDS?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, that was really good, actually.
Guest:That was this like stop motion claymation series I did for Nickelodeon that was so funny and nobody really watched it.
Guest:And we did like two or three seasons of it, but it was expensive because of the claymation.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But Michael Eisner like came up with this idea and then the scripts were so good.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And and just like too smart for kids.
Guest:Right.
Guest:It should have been on like Comedy Central or something.
Marc:What was misguided?
Guest:That was the show that I did where I played a high school guidance counselor that got canceled like almost immediately.
Marc:But that was like that was sort of poised to be a big break.
Guest:That was going to be like my big break because I was the star of it.
Guest:I was number one on the call sheet.
Marc:And what year was that?
Guest:17 years ago.
Guest:Just kidding.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:What year was it?
Guest:It was like five or six years ago.
Marc:Well, what was the heartache after that?
Marc:I mean, was that a big... No, I mean... Really?
Guest:I was bummed, but like, what are you going to do?
Guest:rant and rave fuck up the rest of your life yeah no no man back on the horse that's uh that's good attitude is that really your attitude always i was heartbroken but the thing is you see it coming like nothing i've never blindsided by this shit it's like they put it on it premiered at like 11 30 p.m like after dancing with the stars um
Marc:So that was their idea.
Marc:Let's see how many we can hold.
Guest:Yeah, but it was like, really?
Guest:Like, this is not that show.
Guest:And clearly they're not, they didn't do any advertising for it, really didn't do any promoting of it.
Guest:Like, once that shit starts to happen, once you see, like, oh, where they're putting their money, you're like, oh.
Marc:You're set up.
Guest:I'm like, you know, it'll be a mirror.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And there are those shows that every once in a while, like it kind of happened with The Office.
Guest:I think The Office, the first season, they picked up like six episodes.
Guest:Right.
Guest:They didn't really do much with it.
Guest:But like it hung on.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So you're like, maybe that'll happen.
Guest:But really, like, it's just not going to happen.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So that would be like a cheerful phone call to get.
Guest:Not the phone call where you're like, I know this phone call.
Guest:And yes, your heart's broken and you're like, why?
Guest:But I mean, I go through that before the phone call because I'm not stupid.
Guest:And I know.
Marc:And I guess the benefit is, is that you do constantly work.
Guest:Yeah, I have enough time.
Marc:But there's gotta be some sort of idea that like, you know, if you nail, but even some of these animated things you do, I mean, they've run for years and they, you know, they, it's all making a living and it's all working the craft, but there must be that dream of like, you know, locking into a role that defines you, you know,
Guest:Yeah, I mean, there is that dream, but that also can be problematic for the rest of your career.
Marc:Yeah, making the jump from movies to, hey, you're that lady that does that thing.
Marc:And then like, oh, there's that lady that does that thing doing a different thing.
Guest:That's not her.
Guest:Oh, it's like, she's the girl from, and they're never really watching you do that character ever again.
Guest:They're just watching the character that you're known for play a different character.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I mean, with every like, you know, there's always like when misguided got picked up, you're like immediately like excited.
Guest:I was excited.
Guest:But there's also like a fear of like it of that happening.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I can always sort of like manipulate my mind into seeing it as as a good thing.
Marc:Right.
Guest:That it may be it got canceled.
Right.
Marc:No, I think that's good.
Guest:Or like, what did I get out of it?
Guest:I got great friends out of it.
Guest:The experience of doing a TV show like that, like playing that role.
Guest:Like she was a really happy character and I was always really happy on set.
Guest:So I was like, I should just remember to be happy on set.
Guest:I sound like Pollyanna, but it's true.
Marc:As far as your acting, the craft itself, like I've asked actors this.
Guest:Yeah, the craft, right.
Marc:But I mean, is there one?
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:Because I think that either you sort of lock into how you do it for yourself or you don't.
Guest:Right.
Marc:I don't know what can be taught and what just isn't.
Guest:I mean, I guess I could probably make a decent argument for saying I learned technique in college when I was in acting school.
Guest:But I couldn't tell you exactly right now what the technique was because I never really did it again.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Apparently there's physical ways to make yourself cry, but I don't really know them.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And that's technique, you know.
Guest:I mean, there is like...
Marc:How do you cry?
Marc:Do you cry relative to what's happening in the moment?
Guest:I cry pretty easily.
Guest:The first thing I always try is what's really happening on the page.
Guest:And if that doesn't work for me, then it's either... Kill a dog?
Guest:I either kill a dog...
Guest:I run over a bird eating something that I've left on the road.
Guest:No, I then go back to whatever.
Guest:Sometimes it's scenes in movies that have made me cry or commercials or songs or if I have to, absolutely have to, my own life.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's never really predictable.
Guest:Right, right, right.
Guest:It's less predictable.
Marc:You might end up getting angry.
Guest:Yeah, or like some days, exactly.
Guest:You know, some days that thing that always used to make me cry doesn't... That dude.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Fuck him.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:He doesn't deserve this performance.
Guest:I'm going to use someone else's performance to get my performance.
Marc:So why'd you wait so long to get married?
Guest:Because I didn't meet him until I met him.
Marc:But didn't you have other relationships?
Marc:Tell me about these bad guys.
Guest:They never asked me, but I'm thrilled they didn't.
Guest:But no, it was all leading up to this one guy.
Guest:I think I knew that I wasn't supposed to marry anyone else.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:In the back of my mind.
Marc:Did you have a long-term relationship?
Guest:I did.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I had a couple.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:With actors?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:One was with an actor, but he kind of transitioned into being a writer and director while we were together.
Guest:And then, yeah.
Guest:And that was a good one.
Guest:It was just long.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And your husband now is in show business, right?
Guest:He is.
Guest:He's a producer.
Guest:He works for Real Time with Bill Maher.
Marc:How long has he been with Bill?
Guest:Forever, since Politically Incorrect.
Marc:All right, so what's coming out now?
Marc:The book?
Guest:The book is out, so everyone should buy it.
Marc:What is this chapter?
Marc:Ashton Kutcher gave my dad a Harley.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:He did?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Why?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:He did.
Guest:He asked me.
Guest:Well, he was the producer of that TV show, Misguided.
Guest:And he asked me about the last night or one of the last nights we were shooting.
Guest:He asked me what I would do if the show got picked up.
Guest:And he, so I said, if the show gets picked up, I'm going to buy my dad a Harley Davidson motorcycle.
Guest:And he was like, if the show gets picked up, I'll give your dad a Harley Davidson motorcycle.
Guest:And I was like, okay, whatever.
Guest:And then it got picked up and we went to New York for the upfronts.
Guest:This is a big party, you know?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And his assistant at the time, like handed me this envelope and had a picture of a Harley in it.
Guest:And it said to pick up, call this number.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:So I did, before he changed his mind, I picked it up and had it shipped to Ohio.
Marc:Your dad's got a Harley.
Guest:Dad rolls around on a Harley now.
Guest:Does he?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's sweet.
Guest:It was his dream to have a Harley.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he didn't even have a motorcycle.
Guest:And he was saving up to buy a starter motorcycle.
Guest:He was going to get a Yamaha or something.
Guest:He had his eye on one that he was like, well, I'm going to do this for a little while.
Guest:And then if it works out, then maybe I'll save up and get a Harley if I like it.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But I was like...
Marc:And now he's got one.
Marc:Does he wear the leather jacket and everything?
Guest:I don't know if he has a leather jacket.
Guest:He must.
Marc:And both your folks are still around?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Marc:And they're happy with your success?
Guest:Yes, they are very proud.
Marc:Oh.
Guest:Yeah, they're proud parents.
Marc:Well, I think we covered it.
Marc:Do you?
Guest:I can't think of anything else.
Marc:Do you want to cry?
Guest:No.
Marc:All right.
Guest:I don't.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:No.
Marc:But you could if you wanted to.
Guest:I mean, I could.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:Yeah, but I'm good.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Maybe you want me to cry?
Guest:Can you?
Guest:That's good.
Guest:Oh, my gosh.
Guest:Now I feel like I should comfort you.
Guest:Let's do it off mic.
Marc:Thanks.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:What a sweetheart.
Marc:And I don't even use that word ever.
Marc:That's it.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:Thank you, Judy, for being here.
Marc:Thank you for listening.
Marc:Go to WTFPod.com for all your WTFPod needs.
Marc:I'll be at the Tripany House at the Steve Allen Theater tomorrow night.
Marc:Go check the calendar.
Marc:See where I'm at.
Marc:Go leave.
Marc:I don't know if the comments are there anymore.
Marc:I got to go check that stuff.
Marc:I think they are.
Marc:Maybe we just threatened to take the comments away so you dicks and douchebags would stop posting and people who just enjoy posting would post.
Marc:Dunno.
Marc:Boomer lives!
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