Episode 471 - Billy Gardell
Marc:all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck buddies what the fucking ears what the fuck nicks what the fucksters what the fuckstables what the fuckadelics fine mark maron here this is wtf i'm not tired of that intro uh it seems it's interesting when you do something for years
Marc:how ingrained it is in you i'm not even going to talk about it i don't even know why i brought it up dimension i'm mark maron this is wtf thank you for listening to my show i appreciate you being here before those of you that fast forward forward i want to say if you live in the los angeles area i'm doing a series of shows at the trippany theater uh at the steve allen theater uh i am doing a series of what i'm calling a ramble flounder and wrestle shows uh
Marc:I will be appearing there on Tuesday nights, the February 18th.
Marc:That's tomorrow.
Marc:And also March 4th and 11th.
Marc:I have to figure out what I want to talk about.
Marc:This is how I write.
Marc:This is my process.
Marc:This is the way the work gets done for me.
Marc:So it's a cheap ticket.
Marc:I think it's eight bucks.
Marc:All the proceeds are going to go to benefit the theater.
Marc:And I am with low expectations on your part.
Marc:I'm going to engage.
Marc:And talk and perhaps ask you for things to talk about, not in an improvised kind of improv way, but to engage in conversation.
Marc:I got to feel out where I'm at.
Marc:I got some ideas, but none of them are fully fleshed out.
Marc:And I just burned an hour and a half on a special starting from scratch.
Marc:I need to tour.
Marc:I need to do the comedy.
Marc:I need to bring it to the people, but it needs to start here.
Marc:in this tide pool, this primordial soup of February 18th, March 4th, and 11th at the Trippany Playhouse at the Steve Allen Theater.
Marc:Just go to trippanyhouse.org and look under the ticket things and get some tickets.
Marc:They usually sell out.
Marc:It seats a little over 100, I think.
Marc:But come and help me if you want.
Marc:You know, and I'm hesitant.
Marc:I'm hesitant.
Marc:I mean, those of you who know me will know what you're getting into.
Marc:Let's just see what happens.
Marc:I need to do it.
Marc:Okay?
Marc:I need your help.
Marc:And also, some more self-plugging, the DVD of Thinkie Pain is available and out there in the world at Amazon and Best Buy and all those places where you might purchase DVDs if you want to have that recent special that I burned that hour and a half on.
Marc:It's available to you.
Marc:Okay?
Marc:On the show today, a comedy road monster, a comedy veteran and full-on pro, great comic, Billy Gardell.
Marc:Billy Gardell, he's on the Mike and Molly show.
Marc:I believe that's on CBS.
Marc:That's where some of you might know him from.
Marc:But he was also just a huge stand-up.
Marc:And he was one of those guys that I always heard about.
Marc:You know, when you, you know, when you do stand up and you hang out with stand ups, you're like, you know, Gardell, Gardell, do you know Gardell?
Marc:Do you know Billy Gardell?
Marc:Do you know Gardell?
Marc:And I'm like, I don't know him, man.
Marc:And finally, we kind of hooked up.
Marc:I ran into him and we talked on the phone.
Marc:I said, come on, let's do this.
Marc:Let's let's talk.
Marc:You know, he's doing a thing with Showtime called I believe it's called Road Warriors.
Marc:Hold on.
Marc:Let me double check.
Marc:Road dogs.
Marc:That's it.
Marc:Road dogs.
Marc:He's taken a lot of the comics that maybe a lot of you aren't familiar with that are out there doing the job of a comedian and putting them on the show, and it's really spectacular to watch.
Marc:You know, there's a lot of comics, a lot of unsung heroes out there of our profession.
Marc:Gardell would be one of them if he wasn't on Mike and Molly, but there's other guys like...
Marc:I know that Kenny Rogerson was on one earthquake.
Marc:I mean, these are just cats that are real pros and may not have gotten the attention that you think that would let you know who they are.
Marc:So Billy's coming up.
Marc:We'll talk about that.
Marc:We'll talk about all of that.
Marc:But he's a great comic, and he's on the show today.
Marc:We'll talk to him in a second.
Marc:What's going on with me?
Marc:I just got back from Minnesota.
Marc:I went to Minnesota for the night to record the show Wits with John Moe and Jason Isbell and his wife, Amanda Shires.
Marc:They were on the show as well.
Marc:So a lot of you were saying, I got to interview Jason Isbell.
Marc:I got to interview Jason Isbell.
Marc:And I was leaving for Minnesota.
Marc:I'm like, I don't know who Jason Isbell is.
Marc:The album Southeastern is spectacular.
Marc:I'm like, okay, all right, all right.
Marc:He's in the Drive-By Truckers.
Marc:Oh, shit, I know the Drive-By Truckers.
Marc:I like the Drive-By Truckers.
Marc:I like Patterson Hood and those guys, but maybe I didn't know the exact history of the Drive-By Truckers.
Marc:I mean, I like music.
Marc:I like certain bands.
Marc:I haven't heard everything by all the bands, but I knew the albums that Isbell was on in the Drive-By Truckers after I did a little research.
Marc:So I brought my rig with me, not really knowing if I was going to talk to Jason Isbell, but I sat in that room in Minnesota and I listened to his last three solo albums and they're spectacular.
Marc:And then I asked him if he wanted to do the show on Twitter and then we exchanged numbers.
Marc:He said he would, but he was flying in from a gig and we do it after the witch show, which would be 12 at night.
Marc:And he had to get up at five in the morning to do another gig, the life of the road musician.
Marc:But man, let me tell you, those records are spectacular.
Marc:He's the real fucking deal.
Marc:So it was an honor to be on the stage with him and his wife, who was also an amazing musician and singer.
Marc:And we did John Moe.
Marc:He's got a house band there, and there were some sketches and things.
Marc:And here's how the show is structured.
Marc:You go, you rehearse, you have a catered meal, and then you start the show.
Marc:There's an intermission.
Marc:Then you come back and do the rest of the show.
Marc:There's about 500, 600 people in the theater.
Marc:It's going well.
Marc:We're out there on the first act, and we do it.
Marc:It goes well.
Marc:Got some laughs.
Marc:Had some fun.
Marc:Then there's an intermission.
Marc:I go back to my dressing room at intermission.
Marc:Someone had stolen my fucking iPhone out of the dressing room at the theater.
Marc:Now, I was livid on a lot of levels.
Marc:Where was the security for this situation?
Marc:How did someone get through into the dressing room at the theater to take my iPhone?
Marc:Why would someone want a fucking iPhone 4?
Marc:That was the first level.
Marc:You know, you can't believe for some reason initially when it happens that your phone is gone because as our lives are now, it's not just a phone.
Marc:It's really a good portion of your brain.
Marc:You know, everything is on there.
Marc:You think in that moment, oh my God, everything is on there.
Marc:Everything, my emails, my address book, my music that I'm listening to right now, my important personal information.
Marc:Is that really on there?
Marc:I don't know, but there's this panic.
Marc:Because we are so phone dependent, really, I think if some of you were pushed to the edge and asked like, who are you really closest with in your life right now?
Marc:Who's the most important person to you in your life?
Marc:If you really thought about it, it might be your phone.
Marc:They're an appendage.
Marc:They're an organ.
Marc:It's not just an iPhone.
Marc:It's an organ.
Marc:It is something that I require to live.
Marc:So you think.
Marc:So there it was gone.
Marc:And then once I established it was gone, then the panic sets in.
Marc:Who's got my shit?
Marc:Now, I knew my phone locked immediately.
Marc:And I know there's a way to track the phone.
Marc:So we get on a computer.
Marc:This is an intermission.
Marc:All right, I'm losing it, not making it pleasant for anybody.
Marc:We have another hour of the show to do.
Marc:I don't want to be that much of a fucking freak and buzzkill everybody, but this is a major crisis.
Marc:I've lost an organ.
Marc:So we try to track it on the find your iPhone thing because I remembered my password for once.
Marc:I remembered my fucking password.
Marc:It wasn't trackable like that was going to make a difference.
Marc:Then someone goes, let's call the cops.
Marc:My God, that's not going to help me.
Marc:I'm bleeding.
Marc:Please help me.
Marc:Some part of me is dying right now.
Marc:My phone is gone.
Marc:I don't know if I'm going to survive this mentally or emotionally.
Marc:Here's what's interesting.
Marc:When you lose your phone, what do you do first?
Marc:All right, you go to check to see if it's an iPhone, if you can find the iPhone.
Marc:I couldn't find the iPhone.
Marc:What was my first thought?
Marc:Well, fucking I don't want Moon to think that I'm icing her.
Marc:So, you know, in the middle of the crisis on intermission before the second show, I email Moon and I'm like, I lost my phone.
Marc:I don't know what's going to happen.
Marc:I hope I live through this.
Marc:What's your phone number?
Marc:I'll call you from the hotel when I get back.
Marc:What's your phone number?
Marc:I don't know anyone's fucking number.
Marc:So that was my first thought.
Marc:Better let the woman I'm seeing know that I didn't die or that, you know, I'm not lost or kidnapped.
Marc:Just my phone has been taken.
Marc:My phone has been kidnapped.
Marc:Then what's the next order of business?
Marc:Holy fuck, what if someone is tweeting as me?
Marc:Oh, that would be a crime against humanity.
Marc:That would be horrible if someone was making unclever or tweets that weren't like me.
Marc:I'd have to assume that if they were tweeting as me, they weren't going out of their way to make it in my voice.
Marc:Right?
Marc:So that was my second panic.
Marc:These are important things.
Marc:Not like, is there credit card information on there?
Marc:Is my social security number on there?
Marc:Are other people's social security numbers on there?
Marc:Is there a way they can get into my bank account?
Marc:No, God forbid someone tweets as me because that's what's important.
Marc:I can wake up tomorrow and my bank accounts could be empty, but thank God I changed my Twitter passcode in time so someone didn't represent themselves as me.
Marc:That stealing of my identity was more upsetting than
Marc:then my bank account's being drained.
Marc:God forbid someone misunderstands something on Twitter and I am robbed that way.
Marc:Then I called my tech guy or I emailed him and he was like, God bless him if you believe in that kind of thing.
Marc:Jeremy over at Mac Man.
Marc:Let's give him a plug because he fucking went above and beyond the call of duty, that guy.
Marc:MacManNow.com if you're in the LA area and you want a Mac guy.
Marc:This was Valentine's Day, the evening of Valentine's Day.
Marc:I email Jeremy.
Marc:I'm like, dude, my phone got stolen.
Marc:He's like, no problem.
Marc:So he does some techno wizardry.
Marc:And he reaches out to the sky with his magic.
Marc:He reaches out to the space.
Marc:He reaches out to space and he tells the cloud to turn my phone into garbage.
Marc:He reaches out to space and he tells my cloud to make what he called my phone is now a brick.
Marc:Now I've got a dead phone out there.
Marc:That was once connected to me, an organ.
Marc:My organ is gone.
Marc:But here's where I wanted to get to.
Marc:I wanted to toot my own horn because in the middle of all this chaos, once I knew that the phone was shut off from space, I went back out there for the second act and behaved as a professional.
Marc:I mean, my innate instinct was to get on stage and go, I know this is a radio show, but one of you fuckers took my phone, and this is bullshit, and Jason's not going to play, Amanda's not going to play fiddle, and I don't care what John wants to do, he can shut up until someone steps forward.
Marc:I'll give you this one opportunity, and we'll all be proud of you.
Marc:As a group, as an audience, we will support this if you come forward and just give me my phone and cry.
Marc:I did not do that because I knew that it was not all about me and that we had a show to do and the show must go on.
Marc:We did the show.
Marc:I played some guitar.
Marc:It was funny.
Marc:And I put it all aside.
Marc:And at the end, it was hard for me not to go, wait, before everyone goes, someone stole my phone.
Marc:I wanted to do that.
Marc:But you know what?
Marc:Why diminish the show like that?
Marc:I just take the hit.
Marc:And maybe there's a reason that I don't have a phone anymore.
Marc:Maybe there was a reason that I needed to feel what it felt like to not have my phone and to overcome that obstacle, to let it go.
Marc:There was nothing I could do.
Marc:I did all I can do, and that's all you can do.
Marc:And then you just got to see what happens.
Marc:So that that was a tough nine hours.
Marc:Very difficult to not be able to tweet impulsively or text constantly or check my emails.
Marc:Always.
Marc:It was difficult.
Marc:It was difficult.
Marc:But the people at NPR in Minnesota, the people from WITS.
Marc:They picked me up early and they took me to a Sprint store and they got me set up with another phone.
Marc:And then I was able to retrieve my information from space, retrieved my identity from space.
Marc:and hooked myself up back to a better and newer organ that is now in place now.
Marc:And that's a very touching story.
Marc:It's rare that people survive without certain organs for eight or nine hours.
Marc:But I did.
Marc:I did.
Marc:And I was given another one the next day.
Marc:And now I have the iPhone 5S, I think it's called.
Marc:And all is well.
Marc:All worked out.
Marc:Hello, Moon.
Guest:Hello, Mark.
Marc:You just got here?
Guest:I just arrived.
Marc:Those are the glasses that Matilda got you?
Guest:Yeah, my $12 glasses.
Marc:Given to you by your $9 daughter, your nine-year-old daughter.
Marc:Hey, look, let's clear it up right now.
Marc:What?
Marc:What was the issue after I talked about us?
Marc:Where are we going?
Marc:Are we going to Costco?
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:But we can wait on Ikea.
Guest:Yeah, we can wait on Ikea.
Marc:And what are we getting at Costco?
Marc:You're getting Sonicare toothbrushes.
Guest:Yeah, for my place.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And do you need anything else?
Guest:Paper towels.
Guest:Bulk paper towels.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Possibly containers.
Marc:What kind of containers?
Guest:Lunchbox containers.
Marc:But we were there once before and you don't like the plastic ones.
Marc:You prefer glass because you have a problem with things that are not authentic.
Guest:That's true.
Guest:Man-made things are gross.
Marc:Okay, so glass, that's nature formed by man?
Marc:Glass is a natural thing that is then harnessed by man?
Guest:Just plastic, when you have something sitting in plastic, it tastes yucky.
Marc:You know what's worse is when you put plastic in the dishwasher and then eat out of it.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah, and then you taste dishwasher soap.
Marc:But anyways, the point is, let's clear up the problem.
Marc:I talked about our relationship on Thursday.
Marc:I did it behind your back and then alerted you to it.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:And I presented that as a Valentine's Day gift later in the day.
Guest:That's true.
Guest:It was very romantic.
Marc:But your daughter Matilda had an issue.
Marc:I'd like to air that out.
Guest:That'd be great.
Guest:She was really mad.
Guest:Why?
Guest:Because she feels like it was her doing that we're a we.
Marc:Because that one time that we all went out to that family event, she was in the back and you and I were talking.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:It was before we were, I don't think we were doing anything.
Marc:I don't think so.
Marc:Maybe we made out?
Marc:Possibly.
Marc:Right.
Marc:So I was along for the ride feeling uncomfortable and
Marc:And not knowing how to behave in front of a nine-year-old child or you, quite frankly, at that point.
Marc:And we were going to a family event that had nothing to do with me or you, oddly.
Marc:It was Ahmet's family, his wife's family.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:So it was all awkward.
Marc:And Matilda said, what?
Guest:We drove past the Wii Spa, and she started talking about nakedness.
Guest:And then she happened to mention, once she'd seen me flinching because of the nakedness conversation, she then decided to add fuel to the fire and say, in addition to the humiliation she's feeling right now, I should also mention, my mom has a crush on you.
Guest:And you very graciously said, I have a crush on your mom, too.
Guest:You kind of saved the day with that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But she didn't let it end there.
Guest:Right.
Guest:She said, well, maybe you should take her on a date.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:And then she suggested Benihana's.
Marc:Benihana's.
Guest:And she suggested the chicken and steak combo meal, which is a kid's meal, apparently.
Guest:But she feels confident we could still order it.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:So that was the beginning in her mind.
Guest:In her mind, we're a we because of her.
Marc:Okay, so I will give her that credit here publicly that it was really all Matilda is doing.
Marc:Is she going to listen to this?
Guest:Probably.
Guest:I'm going to make her listen to it now.
Marc:And I want to apologize publicly to the world.
Marc:to Matilda for not including her in the narrative, which would be the story of our relationship, because it was indeed her doing that made us come together.
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Marc:Do you want to go to Benny Hans with me?
Guest:Yeah, I do.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:I'm lord of that thing?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:All right, folks.
Marc:This is Billy Gardell now that you're going to be listening to, and I will be in Costco.
Marc:Probably.
Probably.
Marc:It's weird when you hear people evolve.
Marc:I mean, you've been doing this how long?
Guest:Me, I'm coming up on, let's see, 87, 97, 2007.
Guest:25.
Guest:25, coming up on the quarter.
Guest:Right.
Marc:First quarter.
Marc:Right.
Marc:So you remember guys that we started with.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And there are guys that you could watch and be like, that's never going to happen.
Marc:Whatever.
Marc:whatever that guy's doing that's not gonna work i know i shouldn't do that yeah but then they become huge like i got i know guys were sort of like i thought that it was done for you yeah and you see them change and it's fucking amazing yeah yeah but you start like i didn't really we never hung out we i never really met you always i think our stories may have crossed paths right and uh and i think uh we have a lot of mutual friends yeah of course mutual friends
Marc:And you're one of those guys where people are like, oh, Gardell is the best.
Marc:How do you not know Gardell?
Guest:It took a minute to get to be that guy.
Guest:Because at the beginning, it was what a funny kid when I was trying to figure out who I was.
Guest:And then it stopped being what a funny guy and went to, boy, that fucking guy drinks a lot.
Guest:Well, yeah.
Guest:And then after that, I made a conscious decision to get back to, boy, that guy's funny again.
Marc:But where'd you grow up, man?
Guest:Well, I started out, I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
Marc:Do you have family there?
Guest:Yeah, my dad, mom were there.
Guest:They're now down in Florida.
Guest:Both your parents are in Florida.
Guest:Yeah, they're divorced, but they live 30 minutes from each other in Orlando.
Guest:Do they speak?
Guest:No, they hate each other.
Marc:When did that happen?
Guest:Well, they pretend they don't, but they still do.
Marc:But when did that happen?
Guest:My mom took us to Florida when I was probably about 11 or 12.
Marc:Like running to Florida?
Guest:No, like she married some guy that was going to go down to Florida and open a construction business.
Guest:Big idea guy.
Guest:That guy, yeah.
Guest:He was a wonderful inspiration for a lot of my comedy.
Guest:And then we went down to Florida, and then we would do the school year in Florida, and then we'd go back to Pittsburgh and stay with my dad and his wife for the summer.
Guest:So they both got remarried quick.
Guest:My dad got remarried quick.
Guest:My mom got me remarried two more times, but it was a harder path for her.
Guest:I mean, she had me, my derelict brother, my derelict sister.
Guest:Real derelicts or just in fondness.
Guest:Like insane.
Guest:We were insane.
Guest:And those poor men would come to the house and you'd get that with the package.
Guest:That's really not fair to her.
Guest:Tough sell.
Guest:Not fair to her.
Guest:Not that she was getting the cream of the crop.
Guest:Over 35, three kids.
Guest:You're not...
Guest:Stockbrokers ain't lining up, you know what I mean?
Guest:You do what you can.
Guest:You get what you need.
Guest:So then we went down there and we started... That's my favorite Stones song, by the way.
Guest:But we went down there, man.
Guest:I just always wanted to be a comic.
Guest:I knew at nine.
Guest:Do you have any sense of Pittsburgh?
Guest:Oh, yeah, man.
Guest:Pittsburgh's my heart.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Because I was back there every summer.
Guest:My grandparents, who were the best influence in my life, were from there.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So that city is the most important part of my work ethic.
Marc:It's one of those interesting cities where, you know, it's got the old sort of Pennsylvania thing, but there's also a lot of money there because there's the colleges, right?
Guest:Well, that's how they survived when the steel mill shut down.
Guest:They became a college town and adapted to, all right, we can either die on the vine or we got to change.
Guest:Well, we got four good schools here.
Guest:Let's do this and have conventions.
Guest:But do you come from steel people?
Guest:I do.
Guest:I got some steel workers in my past.
Guest:I got some painters, some bankers, some real...
Marc:But I mean, without them, you get no skyscrapers.
Marc:You get no New York City, no railroads.
Guest:You got nothing.
Marc:All of it came from there, from Pennsylvania.
Marc:From you not being able to see the sun as a child.
Guest:That was it, man.
Guest:You know, if it says four o'clock, boy, them stacks let go.
Guest:You're like, oh, it's just dark now.
Guest:Why do I feel so greasy?
Marc:is that really true though oh yeah man it would just cover the sky and then when they shut them down yeah it became one of the cleanest places in america to live so it's pretty strange it's a big state yeah when you drive west across it but from east to west you like when you drive when you do that drive from uh from like new york if you go through new york to la you're like holy fuck how big is pennsylvania it just never ends yeah it's the northern texas but with more trees you don't you don't realize it though right um but your dad didn't work at the mill huh
Guest:No, my dad was in the Navy for a little while.
Guest:Then he did a little house painting.
Guest:His dream was always to be an animator.
Guest:And he was always funny.
Guest:My dad was really funny.
Guest:Yes, he is.
Guest:I'm talking about him like he's dead.
Guest:He was very funny.
Guest:Not funny anymore, but he used to be funny.
Guest:He's still funny.
Guest:He was that guy that was just really funny.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And my mom and him were just two people that just weren't supposed to be together.
Guest:Were they fighting?
Guest:I think they were just married really young.
Guest:They had me when they were 20.
Guest:you're the oldest yeah yeah and uh and it just didn't work out for them you know what i mean i don't know how they i don't know how the fuck that any of them can do it from that generation it's they start at 20 and they don't know what they're doing well yeah but they think that's what you do yeah that's what you did up until then i know but i don't know who made that rule no i don't either i mean there must have been some people in the world that didn't fucking have kids yeah i don't know i don't know those people because i became one of them
Guest:But you waited a little bit.
Guest:I did wait.
Guest:No, I had to wait until I was ready.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's maybe one of the two smart decisions I've made in my life.
Guest:Is waiting for you.
Guest:Because I waited until I was ready, and then now that we have them, it's the greatest thing in my life.
Guest:Just one.
Marc:Oh, good.
Marc:Just one, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, mine's will just spoil one.
Guest:Why fuck it up with two?
Guest:Well, I told her.
Guest:He got most of your DNA.
Guest:Let's not push him.
Guest:Because the next one's just going to be stabbing him and hitting him with stuff when he's not looking.
Guest:So let's just leave it where it's at.
Marc:So the move to Florida, what part of Florida did you live in?
Guest:Orlando, Florida.
Marc:So not even, it's kind of land blocked.
Guest:Yeah, it's weird.
Guest:It's not Fort Lauderdale.
Guest:No beast, no weirdness.
Guest:Well, there's weirdness.
Guest:Oh, there's a dark undercurrent where Mickey lives, my friend.
Guest:How does that manifest itself?
Guest:All of Florida is a fucking-
Guest:My buddy Kevin Rogers used to say that Florida is the do-over state.
Guest:No matter what you did atrociously in your life, if you move to Florida and get into real estate, you can just start over.
Marc:You think.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So that just means you have a bunch of borderline and full-on criminals and old people running.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's a Carl Hiaasen novel down there, without a doubt.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so you got all that tourism, happy, smiley stuff.
Guest:But underneath that, you got a good cast of lunatics running through.
Marc:Well, there's a weird mix of just sort of like almost like- Very transient.
Marc:Southern redneck-y kind of stuff, and then you get the people- And then you got guys from Jersey.
Marc:Right, the people that move there to live the dream, and then the people that are just sort of at the end of their rope or at the end of their life.
Marc:It's a weird mix.
Marc:Then you got the Latin contingent.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I'm fascinated with it.
Guest:It's definitely a cook pot.
Marc:Yeah, my mother lives down there.
Guest:Yeah, so I started out down there in high school, and-
Guest:We were a group that, like where we lived was a broke area called Union Park.
Guest:And I went to Winter Park High School, which was a very nice high school at the time.
Guest:And we were like that, you know how each high school kind of scoops out one group of poor kids so they can get their, I don't know, their sympathy or their extra budget.
Guest:We were that group.
Guest:We got them.
Guest:So it's like, yeah, you know, just you're 15 and you walk into a place where kids have BMWs and
Guest:oh so you were like the bust in kids man we're the breakfast club and we're literally you were like man you were like see we like a fat bender walking around in this place what am i doing so you guys were like the scrappers yeah we were in we got in some mix-ups when we were younger my brother more than me no believe it or not i'm more with the rednecks than the rich kids the rich kids just kind of looked at us like a nuisance yeah
Guest:But I don't know what this was.
Guest:It started in like ninth grade when I was down.
Guest:When you moved down from up north, it was a, you Yankee.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:I'm like, what year are we in?
Guest:Even at that age, I knew.
Guest:You're just dumb.
Guest:You don't have any.
Guest:Right.
Guest:There's nothing snapping in your head right now, isn't there?
Guest:You lost that one.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:A long time ago.
Guest:So we got in some scrapes.
Guest:Really?
Guest:I lost more than I won.
Guest:You know, it's ironic.
Guest:You were fighting the Civil War when you were- Literally.
Guest:For no reason.
Guest:I got a blue coat on and a bayonet and some of that hard bread yeet.
Guest:But I actually got a good reputation in high school for a beating I took.
Guest:more than i get i only got in a couple fights yeah but i got a better rep for taking a beating than i did for really yeah like this one dude just beat me to death out in the hallway but somehow i stood up i didn't cry you know and i walked down the hall like i was unaffected and it had this weird effect because this kid smoked me i mean he like drove my head into a locker he was going to crush my head in the door started it
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I probably did something with my mouth.
Guest:I probably said something.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And that's probably escalated.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:But then the toughest kid in the school came looking for me.
Guest:This kid, Dale.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And this is a kid that like by 11th grade, he already had the story of like, he bit off a dude's finger and he's got 32, you know, he's just.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:The cop shot front waiting to take him to jail after graduation.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:And he came looking for me.
Guest:He's like, oh, you're tough.
Guest:I was like, oh, no, man.
Guest:No, I got nothing to do with that.
Guest:I don't think that you saw your title, bro.
Guest:I want nothing to do with this.
Guest:Yeah, I just took a hit, man.
Guest:But everybody left me alone after a beating I took, not I gave.
Guest:And I thought that was pretty funny.
Guest:I think the key was not crying.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I think it was just in so much shock.
Guest:I couldn't muster any emotion.
Marc:The idea was to walk off and walk.
Marc:Just walk.
Marc:Get somewhere alone so you can weep.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:Exactly.
Marc:I whimpered when I got home.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:That's the way to do it.
Marc:Well, I think it's important to be a guy who can take a hit.
Marc:We're going to be in this business.
Marc:Well, exactly.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:I think that's all of it.
Marc:Fighting's one thing, but being able to sort of shoulder the burden of disappointment.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That's the real trick.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So-
Guest:So you're in high school.
Guest:Are you working?
Guest:I'm in high school.
Guest:I'm working at night to help support my family.
Marc:It was that situation.
Guest:Yeah, I was like, you know, I'd go to work probably from four to midnight.
Guest:I worked at a place called Zares, which was like the precursor to Target.
Guest:Zares, wasn't that a department store?
Guest:Yeah, and I was a guy in the backloading pallets.
Guest:That was my gig.
Guest:And then I'd give my mom my paycheck, and then I'd, you know...
Guest:And did she use it well?
Guest:No, no.
Guest:She bought shoes and said her friend Cynthia gave them to her from work.
Guest:But that's all right.
Guest:It's my ma.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:But we did what we had to do, you know?
Guest:And it was me, my brother, my sister.
Guest:How old are they?
Guest:They're four years younger than I was.
Guest:Both of them?
Guest:Are they twins?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Really?
Guest:They're one minute apart.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And they're all right?
Guest:No, they're nuts too.
Guest:They're nuts too.
Guest:And you know, it's funny.
Guest:The whole family's nuts, but for somehow, I don't know, some reason we keep surviving.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, yeah, but I'm pretty proud of that.
Guest:Well, yeah, well, nuts do all right.
Marc:Yeah, I guess, right?
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:You just don't hear about the nuts surviving.
Marc:The nuts story is always like, what happened to that guy?
Marc:Nuts persist.
Marc:We do persist.
Marc:There's no doubt about it.
Marc:So you're doing the heavy lifting?
Guest:Yeah, and I wanted to be a comic since I was nine years old.
Guest:I just always knew.
Marc:What planted that seed?
Guest:It was all the Holy Trinity.
Guest:Who's yours?
Guest:The records.
Guest:It was Carlin, it was Pryor, and it was Cosby.
Guest:That's a pretty good Trinity.
Guest:Those were the records that were around me.
Guest:And then on the fringes was Bob Newhart.
Guest:Although I knew I was never going to be that smart.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:You know, I love Bob Newhart and the Lampoon Oblums.
Guest:The Lampoon Oblums.
Guest:The Cheech and Chong.
Guest:I got all of them.
Guest:You got them all?
Guest:And thank you, by the way, for the Rodney Danger.
Guest:I'm starting to build my vinyl collection of comedy.
Guest:I got a couple of Steve Martins and a Carlin.
Guest:First one I bought was AMFM because that was the one.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, of course.
Guest:I heard that.
Guest:Class clown was mine.
Guest:What is this guy doing?
Guest:What?
Guest:How did you talk like that?
Guest:You're very anal and you write it all down.
Guest:That's how he did it.
Guest:And then the Cosby, the storytelling.
Guest:I'll tell you, man.
Marc:The storytelling blew me away.
Marc:That one changed my life recently.
Marc:Yeah, really?
Marc:Yeah, I mean, within three years.
Marc:I mean, I just did a special for Netflix.
Marc:And a couple years ago, I sat down with Bill Cosby myself.
Guest:Wow.
Marc:And I never...
Marc:Sometimes you listen to all these guys and what you integrate, who the hell knows?
Marc:You know you want to be funny, but as funny as you are and as funny as I am, the thing is we don't really sound like anybody else, but we cite these people as our influences.
Guest:Absolutely.
Marc:I never aspired to be anybody or even copped a tone, really, but there were certain cats that made me laugh.
Marc:But the thing about watching Cosby myself was I just had this moment where I'm like, he's deciding what's funny.
Marc:He's not freaking out.
Guest:No.
Marc:He's not terrified to go into it.
Marc:He's going to decide this is a funny story and I'm going to go with it.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And for some reason I'm like, I can decide.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I still have trouble with that.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I don't have to freak out.
Guest:I still to this day have trouble with that.
Marc:Isn't it weird though?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Because you're a funny guy.
Marc:At some point you have to accept you're a funny guy and like, I'm going to decide what's funny.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And if they don't like it, I did what I could.
Marc:And the man...
Marc:The minute I think that I'm a funny guy, then I think, oh, you're being an arrogant dick.
Marc:Don't think that.
Marc:Well, yeah, I felt weird saying that just then.
Marc:I mean, I know.
Marc:See, I'm not alone.
Marc:That's good.
Marc:No, no, no, no.
Marc:I mean, like, I have to.
Marc:I think at some point, you know, we can give it to ourselves a little bit.
Marc:A little bit.
Guest:I think you have to to mature to the next level.
Guest:Or just to beat yourself up all the fucking time.
Guest:Right, exactly, because that gets exhausting, and then nothing's funny anyway.
Guest:You were talking about copping the tones.
Guest:I think I probably copped two tones when I was younger.
Guest:One was Bill Hicks.
Guest:That was a hard one to not cop him.
Guest:I was like, I just can't be this guy.
Guest:I'm never going to be this cool, this angry.
Guest:I just can't.
Guest:But what it gave me was, it gave me that early metamorphosis gave me like...
Guest:I would never take any material, ever.
Guest:But I did take some of his cadence when I was young because I was 19.
Guest:It was so contagious.
Guest:Yeah, man.
Guest:And I just wanted to be that cool.
Guest:And then I came to a quick realization that I'm like, this is not your story.
Guest:But the confidence with which this guy delivered a line blew me away.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:It wasn't so much.
Marc:I didn't know if he was cool or not, but his delivery system.
Marc:That, you know, the way it kind of rolled, you know, like sleep tight, you know, like he had a thing that could pop.
Guest:And then when he would go from dark to goofy, I really, I enjoyed, what are you doing, Bill?
Guest:You know, I enjoyed all that.
Guest:Hey, Walt, sausage, all that stuff.
Guest:I love that.
Guest:And then I noticed that in Carlin.
Guest:Carlin could be biting and...
Guest:And that kind of made me open up to, I don't want to be one kind of comic.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I don't mind being a storyteller.
Guest:If I need a one-liner, I want to be able to say a one-liner.
Guest:If I want to be angry, I can be angry.
Guest:But it's all the one thing.
Guest:I want to stay.
Guest:Some guys like, there are some cats that just like to get, okay, this is my thing.
Guest:This is what I do.
Guest:I'm just going to do that.
Guest:And that's OK.
Marc:Yeah, I don't know.
Guest:But I wanted to roam.
Guest:I wanted to be able to do whatever I needed to do.
Marc:But the thing that people don't understand is once you start to integrate that stuff, you know, like if somebody starts drawing lines between storytelling and stand up, that's bullshit.
Marc:You're done for.
Marc:Well, no, but it's just well, it's just bullshit because, you know, now there's a storytelling thing.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So now so like that's happening.
Marc:and you got the moth and you got you know this american life and you have people that aren't stand-ups telling stories so now that's part of the culture so now people come back to people like me or you and say like well he's a he's not really a comic he's a storyteller it's like that is stand-up i mean there's a difference between a comedian a guy who does one-liners and a stand-up comic you listen to any of the stand-up comics that do long form they're going to do some version of stories i mean even carlin
Marc:You know, on Class Clown, you know, like leading up to the seven words or before that about being in Catholic school.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, it's all a story.
Marc:Absolutely.
Guest:But it's just there are jokes within it.
Guest:I think that the marketing guys just need to be able to make a file set.
Guest:They can't just say this guy's good or this guy's not good.
Guest:Stand up is stand up.
Guest:Or I enjoyed this guy or didn't enjoy this guy.
Guest:Funny is funny.
Guest:It's not funny is not funny.
Marc:But I get a little – I still get a little fucking – I get a little territorial and defensive about people who call themselves stand-ups that either just did it twice or have eight minutes or tried it once or people that have never been paid to do it.
Marc:And I have a problem with actually – with storytellers who are not stand-ups and they're using – it's fine.
Marc:But I mean when we – when you and I started –
Marc:there was a the system was very definite yeah the system was you go hang out at the dumb club yeah and you wait you get funny you try to go last right you go hang out you wait till you get your fucking guest spot yeah and then like you'll meet your mc spot right you get to open right and those were the hoops there was no sort of like i'm gonna go down to that uh to that department store where they're having a stand-up show in the basement because some kid thinks it's cool no
Guest:It didn't exist.
Guest:And it was a very... Well, there was a different time back then, too, because, I mean, even the club owners kind of policed the room, you know, and you had to be good enough to get on stage, and then you had to kind of do your own thing.
Guest:Well, that was called on it.
Marc:That was the first hoop to get through was the fucking Napoleon who operated the club.
Guest:Yeah, if you could get the MC spot, the coveted MC spot, the first one for me was Bonkers in Orlando in 1987.
Guest:It paid 20 bucks a night, whether there was one show or three.
Guest:Who are you opening for?
Guest:Now, see, that was the great part.
Guest:When I started, the guys that were headlining, it was when comedy was really, really hot.
Guest:Yeah, late 80s?
Guest:Yeah, because it was like Slayton was coming through town.
Guest:Right, right, right.
Guest:That was when it was a big business.
Guest:And Creed and Rogerson.
Guest:Kenny.
Guest:Just these guys that crushed it, and you were like...
Guest:What the fuck are they?
Guest:How are they doing that?
Guest:Who are those guys?
Guest:Yeah, and they would just be these charismatic nuts.
Guest:What happened to Ben Creed?
Guest:I want to be a part of that guy.
Guest:He's doing great.
Guest:Oh, good.
Guest:He just did a show.
Guest:He did a road dog show for me, which is a show I do on Showtime.
Marc:I just watched the first one, and I'm like, we'll talk about it a little more in depth because Kenny was real important to me.
Guest:Oh, me too, man.
Guest:Me too.
Guest:I had him on a live one.
Guest:How do you do that?
Guest:I started in Boston.
Guest:And he's one of those guys that if you're on the way to the gig, he'll come up with 20 minutes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you're like, really?
Guest:There's no one funnier than that guy.
Guest:Really?
Guest:That's just not fair.
Guest:He's just had a timing.
Guest:Did you get to do that?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You saw Dick Farmer's Harley Davidson's and now you have 20 minutes?
Guest:Right.
Guest:That's not fucking fair.
Marc:Yeah, he did.
Marc:He was great.
Marc:He is great.
Marc:I had him on a live WTF in Boston.
Marc:I was so thrilled to have him because when I was in college doing open mics for the first time,
Marc:Before I really committed to comedy, I just remember one night where he was hosting one and there was like 15 dudes on.
Marc:It was at Play It Against Sam's in the basement.
Marc:He's hosting the open mics.
Marc:Local dudes, a Boston team, they were coming in and I'm waiting.
Marc:And I'm like way down on the list.
Marc:And Kenny's getting drunk.
Marc:And he's just like, by the time like- I had the same experience with him.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And you're just sitting there waiting and partying when you're at that level.
Marc:You're like, I don't really want to go on.
Marc:As each audience member leaves.
Guest:Why am I doing this?
Guest:What was I thinking?
Marc:This is going to suck.
Marc:There's no one left.
Marc:And he fucking forgot.
Marc:He forgot to bring me up.
Marc:I waited there for three hours.
Marc:He got shit-faced.
Marc:Closed the show.
Marc:And I was like, I was supposed to go.
Marc:And he's like, no, no.
Marc:I'll worry about it.
Marc:You're all right.
Marc:I got to go.
Guest:But yeah, I always loved that guy.
Guest:Music was a big thing for me that connected to comedy, man.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, I heard this interview with, and this we're just talking about tones and stuff and how to find your voice.
Guest:I heard this great interview with Santana.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And it stuck with me.
Guest:And he said, look, everybody has to play the same notes, but it's how you play those notes.
Guest:I play an E, but you can tell Keith Richards E. You can tell Pete Townsend E. That's how you tune your guitar.
Guest:And that took the pressure off me having to worry about being anybody else.
Guest:I was like, you know what?
Guest:I'm just going to find what I think about these things.
Guest:What upsets me, what doesn't upset me.
Guest:What I like, what I don't.
Marc:Well, basically, it's like I play guitar, and it took me a long time to realize that once you get basics, it's up to you.
Marc:Right.
Marc:I mean, you can definitely play like someone else, but the difference between a guy who just hasn't found his groove and someone who has is they just keep pushing.
Guest:That's it.
Guest:And you've got to find the way you tune your guitar.
Guest:And then that was a cool thing for me, and that helped me.
Guest:take the pressure off having to be like anybody else and then I could just be myself well yeah well you gotta right you gotta stop thinking about it but like it usually it doesn't it's not that clear of uh of a thought process it's sort of like uh you go through a lot of like how the fuck is that guy doing that no it takes a long time man it takes a long time you know because it's it's the constant comparison of okay how the fuck is fuck it well I think the default position from the fear that comes with doing this is whenever you see the first guy do good it's fuck him
Guest:Fuck that guy.
Guest:Oh, he's fucking horrible.
Guest:And then you would meet somebody who was more evolved than you and just unaffected by it, which is the right way to be.
Guest:And they'd be like, no, I think it's great.
Guest:Fuck them and fuck you too.
Guest:What are you talking about?
Guest:It makes no difference.
Guest:What are you doing?
Marc:Remember the first night the middle handed you your ass?
Guest:Oh, man.
Guest:You were probably one of those middles.
Guest:I was for a long time, dude.
Guest:I was that guy for a long time.
Guest:And I'm not saying I had any great act.
Guest:My presence has always been way better than my act, always.
Guest:But I was always a likable guy on stage.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And, man, I made some headliners mad.
Guest:But here was something Creed taught me, and this was really, really cool.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He said, you're blowing a guy away.
Guest:And this is back when the club owner was actually in the club.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So that you could get a job.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:If the headliner was cool and he came up and said, hey, man, you're killing me this week.
Guest:Back off a little bit.
Guest:Do me a favor.
Guest:Stop.
Guest:And some of them would even go, you know what?
Guest:Let me go talk to the owner with you and say, you know what?
Guest:You need to bring this kid into co-headline or something.
Guest:Give him his own week on a slow week.
Guest:Because I can't take this shit.
Guest:He's fucking murdering me.
Guest:Those were the guys that I loved.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But if the guy came off, and I would pull back.
Guest:I would set the table very nice.
Guest:I would pull back out of respect.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But if the guy came off stage and he had laughing ears and they would just be getting angrier at you about your act, like, I don't know why they're laughing at you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, well, now I'm just going to pour gas on you all week now.
Yeah.
Guest:Now, you have to pay for being a dick.
Guest:I'm sorry.
Guest:I'm sorry I have to do this.
Guest:I have to cleanse you.
Guest:But if they were cool, I always pull back, always.
Guest:But I remember there was a kid that handed me my ass in Columbus, Ohio.
Guest:Who?
Guest:I can't even remember the kid's name.
Guest:But I just remember just panic all week.
Guest:And I was like, buddy, I go, I don't know what you're trying to prove.
Guest:You got me.
Guest:It's a five-game set.
Guest:You're up three nothing.
Guest:Let me get one off here.
Guest:I guess that's your problem.
Guest:payback of course of course it is you gotta settle into that chair man i'll tell you who dusted me one time yeah and uh uh remember uh remember michael roof chicken yeah i followed him one time in toledo what a nightmare yeah well i mean he's coming out and
Guest:That was right.
Guest:That was his moment.
Guest:It was like when he was just, yeah, I mean, it was crazy.
Guest:It was like car horns and sounds and the Lone Ranger.
Marc:Yeah, I can't.
Marc:I don't.
Marc:I can't.
Marc:Yeah, that he killed himself.
Guest:Sad that he killed himself.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:But he really, he made my week a nightmare.
Guest:That was just like, that was an extra Jameson week.
Marc:But that was one of those stories where, you know, he got a lot of attention about something very specific.
Marc:and then he couldn't follow.
Marc:You can't live up to what the hype you started.
Marc:Well, I mean, but it's manufactured hype, and then there's sort of like a little feeding frenzy, and then nothing happens.
Marc:Don't you think that happens in degree, though, with every comic that comes to L.A.
Guest:and gets seen?
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:It happens all the time.
Guest:But I mean, like it lights up, and it lights up to different degrees.
Guest:It lights up a little.
Guest:It lights up a lot with a development deal.
Guest:But then it just goes away.
Marc:And then it's like, can you settle in?
Guest:Right.
Guest:You've got to keep going back.
Marc:right yeah like if you want to do that no there are dudes like you know that i've had in here and dudes i've known you know i've seen guys go up and then you know come down and then disappear but i've seen guys go up and come down and then come back stronger you know like kevin hart bill burr i mean there are cats i think burr is the best guy doing it right now yeah he's my favorite right yeah he's great i just watch him and i go ah shit yeah i'm lazy
Guest:I'm lazy, man.
Guest:I'm lazy.
Guest:It makes me angry.
Guest:I watch his act and I laugh and I'm angry at myself the whole time.
Guest:Well, that's good.
Guest:He's an inspirational kind of guy to me.
Guest:Well, you're different degrees of crankiness.
Guest:It is, but I just love the fact that he's always on it.
Guest:He's always working it.
Guest:I feel like that scene in Rocky III when Mickey tells him that all the fights he's been having have been thrown.
Guest:He's like, the worst thing that ever could have happened to you happened.
Guest:You got civilized.
Guest:And that's how I feel now, man.
Guest:I've been forcing myself to go do these open mic nights just to get hungry again.
Guest:Because you lean on, you know, you go out now and because of the TV show, you go out and there's 1,500 people and they're there to see you.
Guest:And man, it's really hard to not lean on old material that you know is going to kill.
Guest:And then you get that double voice going that every comic has where you're actually doing your act and in the back of your head, you go, I hate you.
Guest:I hate this bit.
Guest:You're a fake.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I've been trying to go to these open mic nights again where there's 12 people in there with no crutches and try to go back up and just start writing new jokes.
Guest:Start over from nothing.
Marc:Well, I mean, you know, see, it's interesting that we constantly compare ourselves to the guys that are at the peak of their game or whatever are still in it.
Guest:It's the only way to stay alive.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:No, it's a way to stay alive.
Marc:But I mean, the truth of the matter is, is that, you know, your show is very successful.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Mike and Molly is very successful.
Marc:And, you know, you can kind of do what you want and lay back a little bit and have a life.
Marc:But I love that there's some part of you.
Marc:It's horrible.
Guest:Listen, I was on stage.
Guest:I went over.
Guest:I went up at 1130 at night at Chow Cristina over across from Warner Brothers.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I was on stage, no material.
Guest:I just needed to do four minutes.
Guest:There's six people in the audience.
Guest:And I admitted to them.
Guest:I go, I'm sorry.
Guest:I go, I'm sorry I'm here, but I need your acceptance.
Guest:Apparently something in me.
Guest:I go, if you look out the window, you can see my poster.
Guest:It's right there on Warner Brothers.
Guest:But I still got to make sure that there's six people here at 1130 that think I'm funny.
Guest:And it's that that keeps us.
Guest:You can't escape it.
Marc:Why don't you start coming around the comedy store on the weeknights?
Guest:You know what?
Guest:I'm not a comedy store guy or an improv guy.
Guest:I never have been.
Marc:No, but I don't go to the improv because I don't like them.
Marc:But the comedy store, it's dirty.
Marc:It's dark.
Marc:It's like Dracula's Big Top.
Marc:Yeah, but it's like the industry don't go there.
Marc:It's just a real room, right?
Marc:It's a real room.
Guest:That's what I like.
Marc:I just want to try jokes.
Marc:But the thing about the store is that they don't do the bringer show in the OR, the original room every night, straight up showcase night, 12, 13 minute sets.
Marc:Really?
Marc:And bang one after the other.
Marc:You should really... See, I recommend it because I don't go to the Laugh Factory.
Marc:I don't go to the Improv.
Marc:I have a personal problem with the Improvs because I don't feel like I owe them anything because they certainly didn't fucking help me.
Guest:No, man.
Guest:I was told when I first got here to put my name in the jar.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And now they're like, you want to come by?
Guest:No.
Marc:But the comedy store is really its own planet.
Marc:And yeah, the reason I'm saying this to you, I'm sort of landlocked here.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And I'm like, because I got to process shit.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I'm going on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
Marc:I'm going on weeknights to the original room.
Guest:Once you get over that initial fear of that new, boy, that becomes so addictive.
Guest:But you need a place where you can work it.
Guest:It becomes so addictive.
Marc:You need a place to sort of work it.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And the comedy store is the only, in my mind, it's the only anonymous set you can do because no one fucking goes there except, you know, people, their audiences.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But the industry is like, nah, I'm not going to.
Guest:And it's important.
Guest:That's, I think, where you got to go find it.
Guest:You need a space.
Guest:That's the only place you can go find it.
Marc:And they run a straight show.
Marc:What do I got to do?
Marc:I don't even work for the place, but if you want to work out shit, I feel bad that you're going across the street.
Marc:I kind of like that, though.
Guest:No, I know.
Guest:I want to know that if I can go in there and grab a laugh or two, then I know the joke's okay.
Guest:Then I know it's okay to continue working on it.
Guest:I would take that to the store.
Guest:Yeah, and then you go back tomorrow, and then you got to go back the next day.
Guest:You got to get you into it.
Guest:But see, that's my problem.
Guest:What?
Guest:I don't have the time to do it every day.
Guest:I don't have the time.
Guest:Where do you live?
Guest:I live in Studio City.
Guest:I've got a wife, a kid.
Guest:I get it.
Guest:You know, all that stuff.
Guest:No, I get it.
Guest:So it's hard to do it.
Guest:So what I like is- Let's say 10 o'clock.
Guest:Kids asleep.
Guest:Mark, I'm asleep by 10 o'clock.
Guest:I told you.
Marc:I got stabilized.
Marc:I understand.
Marc:That's horrible.
Marc:I'm just trying to get you a new chunk.
Guest:I'm trying to get you a new chunk.
Guest:I need a chunk.
Guest:I do.
Guest:I need it.
Guest:It's horrible.
Guest:I wander around my house screaming at myself.
Guest:One chunk.
Guest:Five minutes.
Guest:Yeah, you get a new chunk and it'll light up all the other shit.
Guest:It does.
Guest:I know.
Guest:You write the first one and then they all fall into place.
Guest:I know it.
Guest:But yeah, I do.
Guest:I need to find that time in my life because I use a lot of excuse of I'm working later.
Guest:I don't have the...
Guest:Oh, there's no time.
Guest:And it's just bullshit.
Marc:And you really don't feel that when you go out and do the big shows that you don't find that area in the middle where you can drop a new one.
Marc:Because I've watched you.
Marc:And the Road Comics show, I think, is a lot of heart in that show to get those guys out there.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Because a lot of people forget that there are comics out there just doing the job.
Marc:That's it.
Marc:And you don't know who they are.
Marc:But they've been out there a long time.
Marc:They're great.
Marc:No, they're great.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And I knew it right away when I watched it.
Marc:I think I probably watched the first one.
Marc:Was Earthquake the first one?
Marc:Earthquake, that was the second one.
Guest:So I watched that one.
Guest:The first one was Ben Creed, Kenny Rogers, and Tim Wilson.
Marc:So these are guys that I know have been out there forever, but the culture doesn't know it.
Guest:But those are the guys that do the real job, and I knew that's what you were doing.
Guest:And that's exactly what I was going for.
Guest:And in fact, we were talking about Rodney earlier.
Guest:That's why I wear that red tie, because these shows are like a nod to that young comedian special stuff.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:You know, they said young comedians, but he was breaking guys that were 10.
Guest:I mean, there's always an exception to the rule, but most of them guys and girls were 10, 15 years in.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Were they?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Some of them.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:A lot of them were.
Guest:A lot of them.
Guest:I think Roseanne was an exception to the rule, but Seinfeld had been in 10 years.
Guest:Hicks had been in 10 years.
Guest:Dice had been in 10 years.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So there's, and it takes that long to kind of really be good at it.
Guest:So where does Chicago play into you?
Guest:Chicago, I lived there for two years before I came out to Los Angeles.
Marc:Oh, so you were a Florida guy the whole fucking time when you were developing?
Guest:No, I started in Florida.
Guest:I lived in Florida from 87 to 91.
Guest:Then I lived in New York in 91 and 92.
Marc:So you were a feature by the time you left Florida.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:yeah and then you went to new york and got beaten up got crushed just got killed there's like once you get like just got crushed just crushed yeah because you're doing a you're doing a real club and you got some juice and you're doing 2025 and then you're like get online yeah this is the showcase room you better punch it out in 10 minutes or you're fucking over yeah i got crushed in new york it was very humbling like what happened
Guest:Well, I just, I really sucked for a long time in New York, but I learned the middle ground because I think I was doing stuff like when you start in Florida, you're doing stuff that's, you have mainstream audiences that are a little more forgiving.
Guest:New York audience was tougher.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And the spots I was getting, you know, I was getting the 1 a.m.
Guest:at Dangerfields or the, you know.
Guest:Is that where you met Creed?
Guest:The 1230, exactly.
Guest:I met him in the green room.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:He was a Dangerfield guy.
Guest:Yeah, and 1230 at the stand-up New York and then whatever, you know, Tony Camacho or... Rascals, going out to Rascals.
Guest:Yeah, or even worse, the one-nighters, like chest of drawers for Rick Morgan and all those crazy ones.
Guest:What was the other guy, Roger Paul?
Guest:Roger Paul, RPA, there you go.
Guest:So doing all that, and then I left New York after 92 and I went to Florida again to recover for a year because I had no idea what I was going to do.
Guest:Punch drug.
Guest:Maybe I don't know how to do this.
Guest:I don't.
Guest:No, exactly.
Guest:That was the whole year of, you know, man, maybe college don't look so bad.
Guest:And then I went to Atlanta for two years and met my manager.
Guest:Chris DiPetta.
Guest:He's an important guy.
Guest:He is a good dude, man.
Guest:He's the last of that cut.
Guest:He is, man.
Guest:He's the last of that cut.
Guest:He's been like a dad to me.
Guest:Yeah, no, he's a good guy, man.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He's a solid cut.
Guest:He's still one of the few guys that's on the comic side.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:There's only a couple of those.
Guest:There's not many of those guys left.
Marc:Well, the Mavericks that sort of like, you know, kind of bet on a couple of horses.
Marc:Yeah, long shots.
Marc:I tell them, you love long shots.
Marc:Well, those guys, you know, ultimately at the end of the day, you know, the guys that run their own shop.
Guest:They're willing to go with you the distance.
Marc:And also they can sort of be like, I'm good, I'm good.
Marc:You got Billy.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Guest:Well, they gotta be part of some big machine.
Guest:It's like Paulie in Goodfell's.
Guest:What do I know about making a restaurant?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I'll call you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he was great, man.
Guest:He was very, very instrumental in helping me more even in life than in common.
Guest:Really?
Guest:How so?
Guest:Because that relationship- Well, Chris found me, man, and I was really, I was kind of out of my mind.
Guest:And when he first met me, he said, call me in a year.
Marc:He goes... When you live in Florida and you're working in Atlanta?
Guest:Yeah, and I had worked the punchline.
Guest:Because back then, if you got the punchline on your resume... It meant something.
Guest:It was a big club.
Guest:Well, you could feature all the other clubs if you could get that one.
Guest:So I worked up there and he saw me and he goes... He goes, you got great presence.
Guest:Your act is shit, though.
Guest:okay man thanks can i get my 600 bucks yeah why don't you call me in a year or whatever yeah yeah and i didn't think about it a year later i called him and he came and he came up and he saw my act and it had changed and he said okay i think we can do something and he started to manage me and then i stayed in atlanta for a couple years and then uh into chicago for a year or two because he kept begging me to move to la yeah and i was like ah
Guest:I'm not moving to LA.
Guest:And I think that was just fear at the time.
Guest:And finally I came out here in about 97.
Marc:Tell me about Chicago, because the Chicago scene has generated a lot of younger guys, but for some reason I associated with Chicago.
Marc:What happened in Chicago for you?
Guest:Well, you know, actually, it was a nightmare.
Guest:I couldn't get booked there.
Guest:I couldn't.
Guest:Something would always come up.
Guest:I always got a lot of love at Zaney's.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And this was back when you could run, do three sets.
Guest:And it's like there was the Funny Firm, Zaney's.
Guest:And then I don't know what else was out there.
Guest:There was something else.
Guest:A Barrel Full of Laughs.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Just on the outskirts.
Guest:But I love that city.
Guest:I just love being there.
Guest:And again, my buddy Kevin Rogers lived there.
Guest:So to me, that was a great idea.
Guest:I was just going to live near my buddy Kevin.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And he had, you know, some places you just end up in and it just works.
Guest:And some places you just can't seem to get in the door anywhere.
Guest:And I couldn't get in the door anywhere other than Zaney's.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But I stayed there because I loved the city.
Guest:My brother was living there.
Guest:And so I just thought, you know, I'll be around here for a while.
Marc:Because I did a similar thing.
Marc:You go chasing this thing down.
Marc:I started officially in Boston, and then I went to New York, and that crapped out on me.
Marc:Then I went to San Francisco, and then I got a gig in New York, so I went back to New York.
Guest:I always thought the smart comics ended up in San Francisco.
Guest:Guys like you, Rhodes.
Guest:Well, there was like all the cats that all the guys that you went over their house in the afternoon and they went, you ever read this book?
Guest:You're like, no.
Guest:All right.
Guest:Thanks, man.
Guest:Like all those guys always gravitated to Sam Frank.
Marc:Well, by the time I went, I was a second generation out because that's sort of what it was.
Guest:You were the guys who were like, you ever hear?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I've never heard of that.
Guest:No, you're right.
Guest:Check this out.
Guest:That's right.
Marc:You know, that's how you found cool shit.
Marc:Well, the thing that San Francisco offered, like having spent a few, you know, a couple of years in New York, just pounding my head against the wall and not being able to cut, you know, get time.
Marc:You know, I was starting out my guys, you know, who my peers at that time in New York were like, you know, Louie and Attell and DePaulo, Todd Berry, you know, same group.
Marc:Well, yeah, but like Louie and Italo and DiPaolo were working uptown to catch, and I couldn't fucking crack that nut, and I couldn't get in the cellar, and I couldn't get in anywhere, but the old improv as it slowly fell into the ground.
Marc:It was just silver going, Mark, why aren't you coming, yelling at you?
Marc:and in Boston Comedy Club so eventually you know I started you know I was sober when I went out there for the I think that was the first yeah the first time I got sober or the second time and I was there about a year dry as fuck and you know that was fun yeah and then you know eventually I started fucking you know again this ain't working out right and right when I started using again I'm like I gotta get out of here
Marc:So I got loaded and I fucking gave away all my shit, packed up my car and drove to San Francisco and dumped my ass on a woman's doorstep saying, remember me?
Guest:Can I live here?
Guest:I'm a poet.
Marc:Let me in.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:But that was the thing about San Francisco is it was very encouraging of indulgence.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:that you were really able to find your voice because for some reason the community there really supported very sort of self-involved, riff-style comedy, and you had a wide berth.
Marc:He had a home for that, right.
Marc:And when I moved there, it was like long after the first generation of the guys were gone.
Marc:I moved there, it was sort of after the 80s, like 92, so comedy was hurting.
Guest:Yeah, that's when we went into the depression.
Guest:Right, and it was me, Patton, and Blaine.
Guest:I'm a big fan of Patton Oswalt.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, he's great.
Guest:That guy, if there's such a bridge between, and I hate to use the word, I don't believe in the alternative comedy or any of that stuff anymore.
Guest:You're either funny or you're not.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:But if there is a true bridge between...
Guest:like guys what i do yeah and and alternative comedy i think patten is the example of that well patten's exactly that guy he can go either way man because and he crushes me when he gets off into one like you said the indulgent riff right but then he can he can construct a great joke at the same very smart guy but he's exactly the guy you're talking about you ever ran this bunk
Guest:Yeah, we worked in Raleigh, North Carolina once.
Guest:He's like, do you know?
Guest:No, Patton.
Guest:You've asked me 12 times.
Guest:I have no idea what you're talking about.
Guest:Well, you're like a meat and potatoes guy.
Guest:I am very, very pleased.
Guest:And you embrace it.
Guest:I do.
Guest:Well, that's what I had to figure out I was.
Guest:That's what I want.
Guest:You know what?
Guest:This is what I am.
Guest:But where did your insecurity take you when you didn't know you were that guy?
Guest:I think I, like I said, I tried to be hicks for a little while.
Guest:I went through a Tom Rhodes face for a little while, but I knew I couldn't wear those clothes because I'm too fat.
Guest:I can't get the shiny belt buckle on.
Marc:Apparently they don't tolerate as much bullshit.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:And then I went through a Creed face.
Guest:Creed was wonderful because he let me be him for a little while.
Guest:And then he said, all right, now you got to figure out who the fuck you are because I got to do my own shit.
Guest:And he really snapped me into, you know what, just be what you are.
Guest:If you're this guy, be this guy.
Guest:If you're the lucky guy, be the lucky guy.
Guest:If you're the broken guy, be the broken guy.
Guest:But embrace what you are, because if you spend all your time trying to be something else, you're never going to get it.
Guest:You're just going to be a cover band for the rest of your life.
Marc:It took me 25 years to sort of be comfortable with myself.
Marc:I think it was always me, but it was never enough for me.
Guest:There's a version of me.
Guest:It was a version hidden.
Guest:For me, it was me, but it was hidden behind the confidence of somebody else.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Well, yeah, because you take the delivery system.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So you come to LA in 97?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And where were you at in your life?
Guest:I was headlining.
Guest:I was making ... And man, I'm not a guy.
Guest:I'm not very smart business-wise.
Guest:None of us are.
Guest:But especially our generation, our wave account.
Guest:I think I was eight years in, loaded at a bar when I heard, development deal?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:What?
Guest:What's that?
Guest:Just two guys from L.A.
Guest:talk.
Guest:Well, where do you get that?
Guest:Where do I go to?
Guest:So when I got out here, it was very humbling when I got to L.A.
Guest:I did kind of a similar thing.
Guest:I moved out here with my buddy Joe, and we literally took whatever the car would.
Guest:We left an apartment full of furniture because that seemed like a good idea.
Guest:He's a comic?
Guest:Yeah, he is.
Guest:He's about seven years in now, but he's always been a writer, too.
Guest:Joey O'Connor.
Guest:He's a good guy.
Guest:Take him on the road with me.
Guest:I'm trying to keep him under my wing.
Guest:Good.
Guest:But we took what the car would hold.
Guest:We drove out to California.
Guest:And, you know, you'd work 10 years to make your $1,500 a week.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you get out here, and it just doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Guest:it doesn't matter what you've done no one cares what you've done right you come out here you see the entire history of comedy yeah just doing the fucking yeah we don't care that you get in line no one cares yeah all these guys are headliners we love that you're good everyone else can do 45 too so get in line and uh we'll see we'll see how about that we'll see so yeah
Guest:But that must have been the second wave of the crush.
Guest:It murdered me, dude.
Guest:I thought New York was bad.
Marc:That first time you come to L.A.
Marc:and you don't know the score, and you just go to the improv on any given night, and it's just like everybody you grew up worshiping kind of plowing through 15 minutes.
Guest:Just trying to do eight minutes.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:And you're like, what is going on out here?
Guest:No one's important.
Guest:For the first six years I was out here, I would go up at the improv on showcase nights that Chris would put together, my manager would put together.
Guest:My record must have been.
Guest:might have been one in 15 but what but what was it just terrible i think i was in my own head about it number one and number two i was just so apt to fight that system instead of embrace what it was as a road comic you you know it's really tough to cut down and put together a five minute set it's impossible it's really hard it's like and i had the worst time with that there was a couple times where i came off stage just screaming at the audience i mean i had a
Guest:My first time at the improv, Chris put together this showcase.
Guest:That was back when the audience would sit in the front part and anybody would come from the industry would sit in the back.
Guest:And I came wandering up on stage and lit a cigarette.
Guest:And some guy from the back goes, hey, no smoking.
Guest:I go, hey, fuck you.
Guest:And that's how the set started.
Guest:I look over and DePettis just got his hands in his face like, what have I brought to Hollywood?
Guest:A mental note was made on the other side.
Marc:Phone calls were made the next day.
Marc:Who's this guy, Gardell?
Guest:He's just a dick.
Guest:So it was a slow burn to come into Hollywood.
Marc:Well, what's interesting is that when you do long form and you're used to doing an hour, it takes you 10 minutes to sort of find- Just kind of get settled in.
Marc:Right, exactly.
Marc:But you start to realize, as I'm sure you do now, that part of our job is to construct a five-minute set.
Guest:It absolutely is.
Guest:If you need to, you want to be on Letterman, you better figure out that part of the job.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:You can't just kind of mosey up.
Guest:You don't get it.
Guest:Hey, how's everybody going?
Guest:Yeah, and it took me a minute to figure that out.
Marc:But were you part of that first wave, though?
Marc:Because there was a wave there.
Marc:Which ones?
Marc:The sort of, like, we need a new Jackie Gleason wave.
Marc:There was Johnny Red Wilson.
Marc:Was that this guy Red Wilson?
Marc:He died too, like Kevin James.
Guest:I missed that.
Guest:Kevin James was on King of Queens was just starting when I came out here.
Guest:Because you're sort of that type, right?
Guest:Yeah, I'm definitely that type.
Guest:And that was something else I figured out in Hollywood very quickly.
Guest:I figured out a couple things that I think probably saved me out here.
Guest:One was, okay, let's not get an agent.
Guest:I figured out quickly that the stand-up game in L.A.
Guest:is different than anywhere else.
Guest:The stand-up game here is either to get an agent or to get a part, one of the two.
Guest:Now, these days, there's not too many guys in there looking to make you a part of something.
Guest:But it's the quickest springboard into an agency, which is going to get you an audition.
Guest:So I would quickly assess that if I can't act,
Guest:then getting the agent real quick, I'm going to get an audition, I'm going to get labeled a greenhorn, they're not going to look at me again for another four years.
Guest:But they will look at you again.
Guest:Right, they will, as long as you hang in there.
Guest:So I decided, me and Chris sat down and talked about this, and we decided, here's what we're going to do the first two years we're in L.A.
Guest:I'm just going to go to acting class twice a week, three hours a night,
Guest:And two weeks a month, I'm going to go do stand-up, come back, barely make the rent at $600 a week.
Guest:And then I'm going to come back here and just do acting.
Guest:And then when I feel like I'm comfortable enough to be able to act or be able to read realistically, then we'll come back.
Guest:We'll use the stand-up.
Guest:to get a shot at getting an agent.
Guest:Holy shit, that's pretty organized.
Guest:So you did that?
Guest:It was really, yeah, it may have come to me on a mushroom trip, but it did settle in on me.
Guest:How long did you do that?
Guest:For two straight years, I just worked on acting and doing stand-up.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah, that was it.
Guest:The whole goal was to look at this in a different way, like,
Guest:How, what tool, what do we need to do here?
Guest:And this was a lot to do with Chris too.
Guest:We sat down and said, all right, here's what we need.
Guest:We need an agent to get an agent.
Guest:We need a good standup set.
Guest:We got that covered.
Guest:Once you get an agent, you're new.
Guest:We want you to be able to book the gig, but if you can't read at a level where you're going to book the gig, then it's pointless to do this other thing.
Guest:So let's get you to where you're comfortable.
Guest:reading in an audition and then we'll use the stand-up to get we'll use the stand-up to get an agent so you took acting classes for two straight years see like that's something i never did because that's that steel mill mentality i go okay well i gotta outwork everybody i'm not better looking at anybody i ain't smarter than nobody and i ain't richer than nobody but i can't outwork you yeah that's what i'll do i'll go to work but you could have done anything you could have just said fuck this i'm making 1500 it's gonna go up thought about it was too broke to leave
Guest:Twice in LA when I wanted to leave, the ironic gift was I was too broke to leave.
Guest:And that's what kept me here.
Guest:Well, what made you hit the wall those times?
Guest:I just couldn't take it, man.
Guest:I couldn't take living here.
Guest:I couldn't afford it.
Guest:Every penny I made went to barely making the rent.
Guest:The phone would get cut off.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:What about the pride of seeing guys you may not respect coming up?
Guest:You know what?
Guest:I got over that pretty quick.
Guest:I got over that.
Guest:I used to ride Carrot Top a lot, and then I realized what a sweet kid he is.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:It took me a long time.
Guest:He's not the enemy.
Guest:But this guy's succeeding, you know?
Guest:And I realized that's my shit.
Guest:But that's also road shit.
Guest:It is road shit.
Guest:It absolutely is.
Guest:Because we got nothing else to talk about.
Guest:But the fact that we're sitting in a fucking one-nighter getting loaded because we don't have anything else going on.
Guest:So that guy sucks.
Guest:That poor guy.
Guest:I interviewed him.
Guest:He had nothing to do with winning that award over at Dead Bill Hicks.
Guest:That killed him.
Guest:Of course it did.
Guest:And you know what?
Guest:It shouldn't.
Guest:He's done what he's done.
Guest:The guy's smoking money at the Luxor.
Guest:He's a sweet kid.
Guest:You know, it is what it is.
Guest:Your journey is your journey.
Guest:My point is it has nothing to do with me.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:And once I figured that out, I could navigate LA.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Once I figured out what anybody else is doing, it doesn't matter.
Guest:Here's my deal.
Guest:I got it.
Guest:What am I?
Guest:I'm a blue collar guy.
Guest:I'm a dad.
Guest:I'm a bad guy.
Guest:I'm a nutty friend.
Guest:I'm a neighbor.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:This is what I do.
Guest:I'm going to stay this and I'm going to get the best at this.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So when that number comes up, I'm in the running.
Guest:Because every month, like you said, it's a different flavor.
Guest:We're looking for the Hispanic crazy guy.
Guest:We're looking for the black guy.
Guest:We're looking for the Italian guy.
Guest:We're looking for the woman.
Guest:We're looking for the lesbian.
Guest:We're looking for the gay guy.
Guest:So when the blue collar guy comes up, I want to be, oh, well, you got to see Gardell.
Guest:And they will always come up.
Guest:You got it, man.
Guest:We're the middle of the country.
Guest:We're the middle of the country.
Guest:There's fewer of you.
Guest:Yeah, there ain't many of us left.
Guest:Everybody's very thin and very cool now.
Guest:But the archetype stays.
Guest:Yeah, we resonate.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:Because there's not much working class left in this country.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:But we still resonate with that personality.
Marc:So, you know, I'm watching the Road Comics and, you know, at some point, you know, you make reference to at what point, how much did drinking and partying play into your life?
Guest:That's what I thought you were supposed to do the first.
Guest:Me too.
Guest:I started drinking at 14.
Guest:Yeah, right.
Guest:That's about the time.
Marc:Getting guys to buy you booze outside of liquor stores.
Guest:Absolutely.
Guest:And then getting right in the car.
Guest:And then I was the guy that could buy it.
Guest:By 16, I could walk in and buy it.
Guest:Nobody said anything.
Guest:You knew the guy?
Guest:No, I looked like that.
Guest:a giant i look like that monster that puts the star on the tree in that claymation christmas special so i started i just thought that's what you did man i thought that was that was just how it was supposed to go and then when i got into the clubs all the guys that i thought were really funny were really fucked up yeah and i was like well obviously that's what you do part of the system this is what you're supposed to do absolutely and so that that that embraced me and i and i embraced it and i just went with it for a long long time you know
Guest:And what was the moment where you were like, ugh?
Guest:When I was done?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It happened five and a half years ago.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because I would put together times where I wasn't drinking.
Guest:Did it fuck your life up?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:In what way?
Guest:Well, it almost cost me my marriage.
Guest:It almost cost me my child.
Guest:It put me in the hospital twice.
Guest:With what?
Guest:Well, one time I drank a whole... There's a little...
Guest:It was like a little valve that covers your esophagus and closes and the food goes down to your stomach.
Guest:I burned a hole through that with whiskey.
Guest:And that was, I think, at 23.
Guest:Holy shit.
Guest:Then I was like, you know what?
Guest:Maybe I should settle down.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So then I would just, I had that rotation of I would go two weeks without drinking and then drink to a blackout.
Guest:That was like my deal.
Marc:Yeah, I used to do, I was married to a woman that wouldn't tolerate it and I'd like plan my drinking when I was going on the road.
Marc:I'm like, oh, in three weeks.
Marc:In three weeks, I'm going to.
Guest:Well, I got to the point where my son was four at the time, and it got so bad.
Guest:What was happening was I was sponsored by Jameson Whiskey.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, you worked that out.
Guest:Isn't that wonderful?
Guest:I'm out there with Bevins, Steve Byrne, Nick Griffin, and me.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Nick's great.
Guest:He's the best.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And they all are.
Guest:I love all those nuts.
Guest:And the whiskey was just out of hand.
Guest:And then they added Kreischer to the tour, and then they added Michael Loftus.
Guest:So, you got just six lunatics wandering around.
Guest:And I drank and drank and that became a nightly thing because we were on tour every week.
Guest:Just booze with you?
Guest:Wednesday through Sunday.
Guest:Well, I did drugs earlier, but I'm a purist, man.
Guest:If I did drugs, it was to drink more booze.
Guest:Sure, I get it.
Guest:I just need more.
Guest:I'm Irish.
Guest:I want to fight.
Guest:I want to cry.
Guest:I want to laugh and I want to go to sleep.
Guest:That's what I want to do.
Guest:So, but it was just constant drink, drink, drink.
Guest:And that really started to seep into every part of my day.
Guest:Suddenly, I'm having a couple to get on the plane.
Guest:And suddenly, I'm having a couple before the radio show.
Guest:And then I'm drinking in the afternoon.
Guest:And then I'm home Monday and Tuesday.
Guest:And I'm trying to... And you're just fucked.
Guest:Well, I'm being with my wife and kid trying to be super dad and I can't wait to get them in bed at 10 o'clock so I can get around the corner to my local watering spot and pop them off.
Guest:And you're hungover.
Marc:And then I was like, wow, what the fuck am I doing?
Marc:Right.
Marc:I had a moment on a plane that I think back, because I've been sober a long time, and where I bought a, this is when you can still bring liquid on.
Marc:yeah i bought like a pint of vodka and i was so proud of myself because i'm like i'm not gonna pay for fucking booze on the plane i got six hours i brought a pint and it like and i'm sitting next to some woman you know and uh you know the stewardess comes yeah and she goes and i go yeah just uh you know i just want a some club soda and i pull out this pint and i look at the woman next to me like huh and she's like genius yeah and she's looking at me like the fuck is wrong with you
Guest:Like, how could she not understand?
Marc:Why do you not get this?
Marc:It's like, I'm fucking ahead of the game.
Guest:Do you not understand what we're doing here?
Marc:Yeah, yeah, this is like, I'm fucking ahead of the game here.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, and my moment came when those worlds collided.
Guest:I took my wife out on the road with me for New Year's Eve, and I came apart out there on the road like I normally do, and she saw that behavior.
Guest:You know, and those are tough moments for your kid to see that messed up too.
Guest:And I realized, wow, what a mess, you know?
Guest:And so... The look in their eye.
Guest:It's... I mean, he kept saying, is daddy sick?
Guest:Is daddy sick?
Guest:Oh, God.
Guest:Really heartbreaking stuff.
Guest:And I'm just scratching it lightly, but...
Guest:My wife woke up the next morning and she said, she goes, she had resolve in her voice.
Guest:When a woman's done crying and there's resolve in a woman's voice, you're in trouble.
Guest:So she said, I don't know what you have to do, but I'm not going to live like this and your child's not going to live like this.
Guest:So if you don't get it together, I'm leaving and I'm taking the baby.
Wow.
Guest:Oh, yeah, man.
Guest:And then I did, you know, I did the promise that any knucklehead does.
Guest:Never going to happen again.
Guest:I got it, man.
Guest:I'm on top of this.
Guest:I don't know what I was thinking.
Guest:I'm clear now.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then we got home.
Guest:And that night, a buddy of mine calls me and says, let's go to our spot.
Guest:We'll do some writing.
Guest:Yeah, I'm going to do some writing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I said to her, I'm going to the bar.
Guest:I'll be back early.
Guest:I'm just going to do some writing.
Guest:And she said, I'm not kidding about what I said to you.
Guest:And I went anyway.
Guest:And it was that moment I got to the bar.
Guest:We tried to pretend like we were writing jokes for about an hour.
Guest:And then I ordered a Jameson.
Guest:And I stared at it for, I bet, 20 minutes.
Guest:And it was the weirdest thing because it was like knowing, all right, if you take a drink right now, you're going to lose your wife and your kid.
Guest:You don't want to drink.
Guest:You don't want to get drunk.
Guest:And yet, I knew I was going to drink.
Guest:And I took that drink knowing those things.
Guest:And that's the first time it occurred to me, okay, you can't do this alone, one, and you're sick.
Guest:Because no right-minded man...
Guest:I'm going to lose my wife and kids.
Guest:Yeah, give me another one.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And I drank that drink, knowing that.
Guest:And it was the worst drunk of my life.
Marc:You drank only one?
Guest:No, I pounded them.
Guest:But the more I pounded, the more miserable I got that night.
Guest:And then that was it, man.
Guest:So what happened when you went home that night?
Guest:Well, I woke up...
Guest:I think in the wrong end of the bed the next morning, and she looked at me and she goes, and I said, okay.
Guest:I go, give me one more chance.
Guest:I need one more last chance is what I said to her.
Guest:I go, I need one more last chance.
Guest:I will get help.
Guest:And I had a buddy who helped me get sober.
Guest:And that was that.
Guest:That was it.
Guest:Five and a half years ago.
Marc:That was that day.
Marc:That was it.
Marc:The struggle with the, the struggling you lose.
Marc:And then you go back home to her and you know.
Guest:I knew.
Guest:Knowing.
Guest:I mean, how crazy is that to know, okay, you're going to lose everything if you take this drink and take that drink.
Marc:Yeah, well, good for you, man.
Guest:I thank God that there was some clarity that moment because that's what changed my life.
Guest:And then it got hard.
Guest:Oh, yeah, and there's nothing worse than being... It got brutal, man.
Marc:The first few years of sober.
Guest:Oh, God.
Marc:What is this?
Marc:It's a feeling.
Marc:I don't like it.
Guest:No, I don't want to feel it.
Guest:I need to numb everything.
Guest:I did two and a half years...
Guest:No drinks.
Guest:And that's when Mike and Molly came, right at about the three-year mark of sobriety.
Guest:How was your fear level?
Guest:A ton of money in debt, and I didn't know what I was doing.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I was in debt.
Guest:My marriage was tough because I was an asshole.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:My wife would go, would you like a cup of coffee?
Guest:I am not a fucking loser.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:There's no one here.
Guest:Who are you arguing with?
Guest:Who are you?
Guest:What's wrong?
Guest:It's the ongoing...
Marc:That argument is always going on.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Marc:People are just interrupting you, beating the shit out of yourself.
Guest:Yeah, you're bothering me here.
Guest:I got a whole imaginary conversation going on.
Guest:So that started to ease up, and then the show came, and then I was able to put together a little bit of gratitude.
Guest:But the amazing thing is that despite yourself, for whatever reason... What a great way to say that.
Marc:despite yourself yeah for whatever reason you would put the working like and like you know i imagine when that opportunity came you know no matter how much fear you might have been in you you were ready i mean you no no no but you'd done the acting work you'd done that part yeah i had the skill set the skill set was there i was not ready undeniable the way this happened was pretty amazing i did i had a uh
Guest:I'm in, I was having, you know, just, it had been two years since I booked a job in Hollywood.
Guest:And I started thinking to myself, you know what, maybe that's it.
Guest:Maybe we're just done.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:So I call a buddy of mine in Pittsburgh, Randy Baumann on WDVE.
Guest:And I said, listen, man, I'm having trouble.
Guest:I'm going to run my wife and kid off.
Guest:I had to get sober.
Guest:I got nothing going on.
Guest:You got anything?
Guest:It's a radio gig?
Guest:It's a radio.
Guest:So you're going to be the sideman?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He goes, I'll put you on the radio.
Guest:You'll work till 10.
Guest:You go home.
Guest:You put your life together.
Guest:You come back home.
Guest:Morning.
Guest:To Pittsburgh.
Guest:I was like, yeah.
Guest:Morning.
Guest:I'm in.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So in the meantime, what happens is I have a friend, Judy Marmel, and she takes me to- Steve's wife?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:And she takes me to Nickelodeon, and we pitch this little idea.
Guest:Nickelodeon-
Guest:agrees to give me a small deal and this is what a nut job I am when I'm thinking I'm thinking I'll take that development money and when that fails I'll just use that to move back to Pittsburgh right work my way out of whatever financial trouble I'm in so they start putting this deal together and it's all exciting and I tell my friend in Pittsburgh so I'm going to ride out one more pilot season which you know is three months where you can do your auditions and help you get on a show and
Guest:I got six auditions in three months that I had to kick for.
Guest:I mean, had to really ring the phones to try to get auditions because I think it was just kind of over.
Guest:The sixth audition was Mike and Molly.
Guest:I go in and I audition for Chuck Lorre and Mark Roberts.
Guest:I leave there and I get a phone call.
Guest:I fly to Houston to go work for Don Learned.
Guest:So I fly to Houston.
Guest:I get a phone call and they said, hey, they want you to come in and test for Mike and Molly.
Guest:And I said, no, pass.
Guest:And I wish I could sit here and tell you that it was just this cool thing that I was making them wet.
Guest:I was just terrified.
Guest:And then I knew I couldn't get rid of...
Guest:The other deal.
Guest:It hadn't been inked yet.
Guest:What do you mean you just said pass?
Guest:Because you had road work?
Guest:Well, because I had that small deal at Nickelodeon was still brewing, but it hadn't been signed yet.
Guest:But I didn't want to lose the money that was on the table on a maybe.
Guest:So I said, tell him thank you, but no thank you.
Guest:So then Chuck Lorre's office calls.
Guest:And Lernard's with me, and I see the thing come up, and it's Warner Brothers number.
Guest:And he goes, you're going to answer that?
Guest:And I go, no.
Guest:But you were just doing this out of fear and stupidity.
Guest:Complete fear, yes.
Guest:But politically, it was the right thing to do.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:It was just scary.
Guest:I didn't know what to do, and I didn't want to lose the money I had.
Guest:But he didn't know whether this guy doesn't give a fuck.
Guest:If you don't give a fuck, they're like, we've got to get that guy.
Guest:I don't know what it was.
Guest:I think I just did a good job in the read, and they found the guy they wanted.
Guest:No, but I'm just saying that the tactic...
Guest:Maybe.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Looking back, maybe I look brilliant, but I think I was just scared shitless.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So Chuck Lorre calls.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The man calls himself.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I was like, oh, what?
Guest:What do I do now?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And my manager's like, if you don't call him, I'm going to come down here and fucking kill you myself.
Guest:I'm like, all right, I'll call.
Guest:And it was, again, out of fear.
Guest:So...
Guest:I called Chuck and I laid it on the line with him, man.
Guest:I just got really, really honest with him.
Guest:And I said, I'll tell you the truth, man.
Guest:My marriage is on the brink.
Guest:I go, I'm about 80 grand in debt.
Guest:I go, I got no prospects except this one little deal that's on the table for me.
Guest:And I can't come over to Mike and Molly and do this audition on a maybe.
Guest:And Chuck talked to me for an hour.
Guest:He said, listen, man, he goes, sometimes you got to let go of your fear and just have a leap of faith.
Guest:And he goes, and I'm telling you, he goes, you know, you're my guy.
Guest:He goes, I'm saying that to you now.
Guest:You're my guy, and I'm going to push for you.
Guest:Now, that's unbelievable.
Guest:And I said, listen.
Guest:And he asked me, too.
Guest:He was very cool.
Guest:He's like, well, why did you come in?
Guest:And I said, well, I came in because I wanted to get in the scene for you guys.
Guest:I thought maybe down the line I'd get a part as a bartender.
Guest:And he's like, Jesus.
Guest:He's like, look, I want you to come in and read this and I'll push for you.
Guest:And I said, look, man, I said, I know who you are.
Guest:I go, I respect who you are.
Guest:You're the Norman Lear of this generation.
Guest:I go, if I was 20, I'd be over there waxing your hubcaps right now.
Guest:I go, but I'm pushing 40.
Guest:I go, my marriage is in the toilet.
Guest:All I got is one little deal on this table with this other thing that even hasn't been inked yet, but at least I know that'll get me home.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he just kept talking to me and saying, look, this is going to be okay, but you got to show some faith here.
Guest:You got to show, I'm telling you, you're the right guy for this part.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:And when the guy who knows how to do TV better than anybody in the last 20 years tells you that you should probably listen.
Guest:So my answer was, um, I'm going to talk to my wife and I'm going to, I'll call you back Monday.
Guest:Can I please call you back Monday?
Guest:And he said, absolutely.
Guest:Absolutely.
Guest:So I get off the phone with him, and I call my agent at the time, Jim Gosnell, who said one of the funniest things on earth to me.
Guest:This is when I was at APA, and he goes, get out a pencil.
Guest:Get out a pencil.
Guest:And I go, what are you talking about?
Guest:He goes, write this down.
Guest:I go, all right.
Guest:He goes, Bill Cosby.
Guest:I wrote down Bill Cosby.
Guest:And he goes, Tim Allen.
Guest:I wrote down Tim Allen.
Guest:I wrote, Drew Carey.
Guest:I wrote down Drew Carey.
Guest:He goes, you know what they have in common?
Guest:I go, what?
Guest:He goes, none of them have been on fucking Nickelodeon.
Guest:He goes, what is wrong with you?
Guest:So...
Guest:So now everybody's trying to get me to do this, but I'm just scared I'm gonna lose the one lifeline I have to get out of debt and get home, okay?
Guest:So I called my wife and I said, I go, honey, I go, here's the deal.
Guest:Chuck Lorre thinks I'm the guy for this thing.
Guest:I go, but we're going on a maybe.
Guest:I still gotta go through the network studio thing, then I gotta go through, or I gotta go through studio, then I gotta go through network, then I'll get the pie.
Marc:But you've built up some good points where you got two and a half years sober now.
Guest:I do, I do, but I'm still a dick.
Guest:Still a dick.
Guest:Hadn't learned how to shut up quite yet.
Guest:Yeah, right.
Guest:So my wife, to her credit, said, you have to do this.
Guest:She goes, this is the phone call.
Guest:People wait.
Guest:She goes, it astounds me, but it doesn't surprise me that you are unaware of this.
Guest:She's a great girl, man.
Yeah.
Guest:The only crazy thing that woman ever did was marry me.
Guest:But she said, this is the phone call guys wait for 25 years.
Guest:You just got a phone call that doesn't even exist in this world anymore.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Have you heard a story?
Guest:You're the guy.
Guest:Get the guy.
Guest:Hollywood's calling.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:She goes, that happened to you.
Guest:She goes, you have to trust this man and do this.
Guest:So I called my agents back, and I had my manager on the phone and my two agents at the time, and I said, I go, all right, we all think this is a good idea, right?
Guest:And they're like, yeah, yeah, we all think it's a good idea.
Guest:We're all on board, right?
Guest:We're all on board.
Guest:I go, good, because if it goes wrong, everybody's fired anyway.
Yeah.
Guest:So then I called Chuck back.
Guest:I said, Mr. Laurie, I'll be in there Monday and I'm going to do my best for you and I hope this works out.
Guest:He goes, just trust me.
Guest:He goes, you're the guy I want.
Guest:And you're reading with Melissa.
Guest:Well, this is the thing.
Guest:Melissa was in there with another girl.
Guest:Then I was in there with...
Guest:another mic, and then there were two Carls.
Guest:And then this is how weird stuff happens.
Marc:So it's like this is the test.
Marc:It's the test, the network test.
Guest:Well, the first one's a studio test.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:I walk into the room, and then I realize it's Warner Brothers.
Guest:Warner Brothers is the studio, the distribution studio.
Guest:So when I walk in,
Guest:Peter Roth, the president of Warner Brothers, comes over and gives me a big hug.
Guest:That puts me at ease because 15 years earlier, I had gotten a development deal from Peter Roth.
Guest:And then he got a big job at Warner Brothers and went from Fox to Warner Brothers.
Guest:Then Doug Herzog came in and you know how they do.
Guest:If you have a deal, they sweep you off the table.
Guest:But he was a fan then and was willing to go for it.
Guest:But he obviously had a huge opportunity happen.
Guest:So he walks in and now he's on my team.
Guest:So now- The hug was to say you stuck in.
Guest:So you're good.
Guest:You're good, kid.
Guest:We love you.
Guest:Chuck says you're great.
Guest:So now I read for him and afterwards, now I've got Chuck Lorre and Peter Roth in my corner.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Now I'm at the point like, okay, I'm going to get pranked or something.
Guest:How is this happening?
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:It's a radio prank.
Marc:The guy in Pittsburgh set it up.
Guest:He set the whole thing up.
Guest:But weirder things are happening at the time.
Guest:Reno Wilson walks in to play Carl, and he's a guy that me and him did a show eight years ago that in six episodes got canceled because they put it on opposite American Idol.
Guest:We just got murdered, but me and him stayed friends.
Guest:He actually called me three months before this thing went up and said, this is our show.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I got to go to Cincinnati.
Guest:I'll probably read it when I get back.
Guest:But that's what happened.
Guest:We ended up beating out all the other guys in our category once we read for them.
Guest:So then we get to the network test, and I call Chuck again.
Guest:I'm like, I haven't bothered this guy.
Guest:I'm like, this guy hasn't done enough to get me on the show.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:and god bless him for his patience but i said hey man i go listen i go i can't go over to that basement i just can't do it you know cbs has this place where when you test for a show it used to be at the old place it was in the basement yeah and it was a dark theater yeah there was like maybe 30 seats theater seats
Guest:There's one light in the room and it's on a chair.
Guest:It just looks like an old Russian interrogation room.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you're supposed to read to the darkness and the casting director reads out.
Guest:And I have failed in there nine times.
Guest:I was there one time, three times in two weeks, one year and didn't get anything.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The third time I went in thinking I'll crack a joke to see if it's funny.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And Les Moonbuss was in there and I go, hey, if I don't get on this, can I get on Survivor?
Guest:I need to drop a few.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Nothing.
Yeah.
Guest:Just get out.
Guest:Please leave here.
Guest:So I said to Chuck, I go, man, all my audition blood is spilled all over that basement.
Guest:I go, I can't.
Guest:I can't do it.
Guest:He goes, oh.
Guest:He was thoughtful for a minute.
Guest:He goes, I'll ask him to come over to my office.
Guest:There's maybe two guys in town that can do that.
Guest:So they came over to his office.
Guest:And then Melissa came in.
Guest:I mean, Melissa sat down and she was she was eight months pregnant at the time.
Guest:And we started reading.
Guest:And man, it was just it was apparent even to my dumb ass that this was we're supposed to be this.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Like it just made sense.
Guest:And then when I read with Reno, they had me read with the other guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then they had him read with the other Mike.
Guest:And then they had us read together.
Guest:Halfway through our audition, Chuck just looked at us.
Guest:He goes, OK, I get it.
Guest:Because I get it.
Guest:It's fine.
Guest:I get it.
Guest:And then they had five days to execute the contract.
Guest:And the fifth day, at about 10 to 6, they locked us in for the pilot.
Guest:And you know where I was when that happened?
Guest:I was in Milwaukee working a strip club that had a comedy club in the basement.
Guest:And there's just 12 people.
Guest:This is a true story.
Guest:There's 12 people in the audience.
Guest:I get off stage.
Guest:I'm like, what have I?
Guest:I can't.
Guest:It's one of those nights.
Guest:I can't even drink this away.
Guest:What have I done?
Guest:And this is after five days of waiting.
Guest:Waiting.
Guest:And now I look down at my phone.
Guest:There's 26 texts.
Guest:I'm like, those got to be good.
Guest:If it's bad, it's one text.
Guest:No one talks to you.
Guest:So I start calling.
Guest:I go, we got the pilot.
Guest:We got the pilot.
Guest:The pilot's going up.
Guest:The pilot's going up.
Guest:So my brother had driven up from Chicago to Milwaukee to visit with me.
Guest:And we go, you know, like good addicts, we're like, well, we're on a roll.
Guest:Let's go to the casino.
Guest:So I get in a truck with him.
Guest:We're driving to the casino in Milwaukee.
Guest:And I called my wife.
Guest:I said, we got the pilot, honey.
Guest:We got the pilot.
Guest:I go, listen, I'm going to take $100 out of the ATM and just play at the casino for a little bit with my brother to celebrate.
Guest:And she's like, okay, honey, congratulations.
Guest:By the way, this woman has stayed through this whole tornado of addiction and stupidity.
Guest:She has stayed the course, this woman.
Guest:So as we pull into the parking lot of the casino...
Guest:uh she calls me back she goes don't touch the atm i go why what happened she goes she goes ah she goes we had one other electronic bill come out there's only seven dollars and 91 cents in the atm machine that's all that's in your bank account right now yeah so i i rolled into that pilot with seven dollars and 91 cents and then we couldn't play at the casino so like a good comic i went back to the club and talked him into giving me an advance
Guest:back to the casino, and we won a few bucks.
Guest:You did?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, that was good.
Guest:Yeah, and then the next hurdle was I found out Jim Burroughs was gonna direct it, the legend, right?
Guest:Three years before that, I went in to audition for him for a show at NBC, and I locked up
Guest:so horrifyingly bad in a room full of NBC executives, like throat dried up, couldn't get my breath, couldn't talk, started sweating, tried to start over three times, and it just got quieter and uglier.
Guest:So I'm thinking Burroughs is going to remember
Guest:What a horrible actor.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:So we do the table read for Mike and Molly.
Guest:I said, well, I got to face it down.
Guest:So I walk over and I go, hey, Mr. Burns, I just want you to know, look, that time I was in NBC and I didn't, you know, I messed up and I wasn't ready and I just didn't, I want you to know I'm on top of this.
Guest:And he goes, the fuck are you talking about?
Guest:No recollection.
Guest:He had no recollection of it.
Guest:I'm so sorry, but I'll do a good job.
Guest:And then him and Chuck and Mark Roberts took us out of port, and the show became what it was.
Guest:And it's just this amazing thing to go to work to every day.
Guest:It's an amazing... I don't...
Guest:It blows me away.
Guest:It blows me away from where it was to where it is is just none of my doing.
Guest:Well, I think you're being humble.
Guest:I'm being grateful because I know it could have very easily gone the other way.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Very, very easily.
Guest:And what's easy in the end now?
Guest:What season?
Guest:We're coming into... This is number four.
Guest:10 episodes into number four.
Guest:And at the end of this year, we'll be seven away from syndication.
Guest:Pretty crazy.
Guest:That's great.
Guest:That's pretty crazy.
Guest:It's a great story.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, it is.
Marc:It's very funny.
Marc:And congratulations on all that and everything.
Marc:The one thing about a guy like you is that no one's going to say, like, that guy didn't earn that.
Guest:No.
Guest:You know what?
Guest:You know the greatest line ever was from my manager?
Guest:Because when I got the pilot and the show got picked up...
Guest:A lot of comics that I admired gave me really great props.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And my manager said the funniest thing.
Guest:He goes, you know you've been doing this long enough when even the bitter comics are happy for you.
Guest:I was like, right on.
Guest:It's beautiful.
Guest:But then I also know, part of me knows that there's a young comic somewhere.
Guest:Saying fuck that guy.
Guest:Fuck that guy.
Guest:Yep.
Guest:Good luck to that guy.
Marc:He's just like us.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That's our guy.
Marc:That is our guy.
Marc:That is our tribe is what that is.
Marc:And really, thank you for doing that, the road comic show on Showtime.
Guest:Road dogs.
Marc:Because those guys, you know, I really got the feeling when I saw what it was and I saw, you know, I watched an episode that, you know, you're giving back to these guys that had such an effect on us, you know, just kind of moving through it.
Guest:And here's what I love about it too the most is I get to stand between them and the production people by being the producer of that.
Guest:Because what I always felt was when you put a comic on TV...
Guest:Yes, it's a wonderful showcase for them to be able to do, but you really pull a lot of their power out by going, can you do this minute?
Guest:And then can you do minute 33?
Guest:Yeah, you let them do like 20, right?
Guest:And can you do minute 22?
Guest:But not just the thing, the fact that they rip the bones out of the act and try to mash it in five minutes, which is tough.
Guest:And some guys are great at it.
Guest:But it makes it really tough, but it also lessens the power of the delivery.
Guest:By doing this show, I could say to them, I want you to go up on stage and start your act, and I'll light you at 20 minutes.
Guest:Because then you get the guy or the girl in their most relaxed state doing what they have done for 20 years.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So the phobia of all that shit goes away, and it just becomes that pure club feeling, and that's what I've been trying to capture with it.
Guest:And that's what's been really fun about it, too.
Guest:Oh, good, man.
Guest:I'm glad you did it.
Guest:Yeah, I'm proud of that one.
Guest:Well, thanks for talking, Billy.
Guest:Dude, yeah.
Guest:Can I say lock the gate?
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Lock the gate!
Guest:Yeah!
Guest:It's my favorite.
Guest:Thank you, Mark.
Marc:That's our show.
Marc:Thank you for listening.
Marc:I hope you enjoyed that.
Marc:I am Marc Maron.
Marc:Why am I outroing myself?
Marc:I never outro myself.
Marc:Again, I will be floundering, rambling, and wrestling with myself at the Trippany Playhouse at the Steve Allen Theater tomorrow, February 18th, Tuesday, and Tuesday, March 4th, and Tuesday, March 11th.
Marc:Trippanyhouse.org is where you can go for tickets.
Marc:I also added love in my heart for my Mac guy for saving my ass and shutting my phone off from space.
Marc:MacManNow.com if you're in the LA area and you need Mac assistance.
Marc:He's very attentive and he's a smart guy.
Marc:Also, if you have WTF needs, go to WTFPod.com.
Marc:I'm not going to ramble too long.
Marc:Pow!
Marc:Yes!
Marc:I'm doing it.
Marc:Shit my pants.
Marc:JustCoffee.coop available at WTFPod.com It's happening, folks.
Marc:But listen, I want... Most of you can tune out if you want, but I'm just going to ramble for a minute.
Marc:I want you to know that things are going okay.
Marc:But there's no guarantee of that.
Marc:The struggle continues in me.
Marc:I'm very happy in the relationship I'm in, but...
Marc:They don't know you're here.
Marc:They think it's the end.
Marc:Boomer lives.