WTF with Marc Maron Podcast Transcripts

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Episode 43 - Antonia Crane / Michael Garvey

Episode 43 • Released January 31, 2010 • Speakers detected

Episode 43 artwork
00:00:00Marc:Lock the gates!
00:00:07Guest 3:Are we doing this?
00:00:08Guest 3:Really?
00:00:08Guest 3:Wait for it.
00:00:09Guest 3:Are we doing this?
00:00:10Guest 3:Wait for it.
00:00:12Guest 3:Pow!
00:00:12Guest 3:What the fuck?
00:00:14Guest 3:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?
00:00:16Guest 3:What's wrong with me?
00:00:17Guest 3:It's time for WTF!
00:00:19Guest 3:What the fuck?
00:00:20Guest 3:With Marc Maron.
00:00:24Marc:Okay, let's do this.
00:00:25Marc:How's everybody doing?
00:00:27Marc:Good evening, good morning, good afternoon, wherever you're at.
00:00:30Marc:Welcome, what the fuckers.
00:00:31Marc:It's nice to have you.
00:00:32Marc:I am Marc Maron.
00:00:33Marc:This is WTF.
00:00:34Marc:Oh, I'm sorry.
00:00:35Marc:I'd like to reach out to my what the fuck buddies and what the fuckineers.
00:00:39Marc:I don't know.
00:00:58Marc:I heard that as you get older, you tend to wake up earlier.
00:01:02Marc:You sleep less.
00:01:03Marc:I guess that's something about your internal clock that knows biologically that you're running out of time.
00:01:11Marc:You better get all the time in that you can because time is running out.
00:01:16Marc:When you're younger, I mean, I could sweep till 11, 12.
00:01:18Marc:I'd stay up till three or four and sweep all day if I had to just to get that nourishment, to get that mental nourishment, the long sweep, to sweep off the drugs or the alcohol or just not to get out of fucking bed.
00:01:31Marc:But now I am up.
00:01:33Marc:I went to bed at like two last night and I'm up at 630, just wide eyed.
00:01:38Marc:And it felt like something was sitting on my chest.
00:01:41Marc:I'm not sure what that was about.
00:01:42Marc:It wasn't panic necessarily.
00:01:44Marc:I tend to think it's my body craving nicotine because at the amount of nicotine I'm dumping into it, at least when I smoke cigarettes, I knew how much I was getting into because my lungs hurt and I'd smoke a pack and a half, two packs a day.
00:01:57Marc:But with the gum and the lozenges, I'm eating them like candy.
00:02:00Marc:I don't ever not have one of them in my mouth.
00:02:03Marc:I don't right now.
00:02:05Marc:I got a little criticism from some of my listeners.
00:02:08Marc:About the Dave Attell interview and I was eating Skittles.
00:02:11Marc:What was I supposed to do?
00:02:11Marc:He gave me Skittles.
00:02:13Marc:But I think my body was just screaming for nicotine.
00:02:16Marc:I don't know.
00:02:16Marc:I was just up.
00:02:18Marc:I had a big night last night.
00:02:19Marc:It was a good way to start the day.
00:02:21Marc:To be up with that pressing feeling of life.
00:02:25Marc:Sitting on your chest.
00:02:27Marc:Crushing your chest.
00:02:29Marc:Telling you to get out of bed.
00:02:30Marc:And then I got out of bed and I missed the timing.
00:02:33Marc:The woman who lives at my house.
00:02:35Marc:Who is not my roommate because I'm too old to have a roommate.
00:02:39Marc:She lives at the house.
00:02:40Marc:uh she gets up takes a shower gets ready to go to work i got one bathroom i missed the i missed my window of opportunity to get into the shower and get ready for my day uh before she did and i don't really need to get ready for the day what am i going to dress up to come out here to the garage to talk to you but i didn't need to pee that happens in the morning you got to pee and when she's in there depending on how long i put off peeing
00:03:04Marc:That's another thing I really don't understand about sleeping and knowing you got to pee, but insisting on sleeping and then just keep waking up, having to pee more.
00:03:12Marc:Whatever.
00:03:12Marc:This is not a discussion to have.
00:03:15Marc:But I was in the awkward position.
00:03:16Marc:I've been here a few times lately where I it's not even awkward.
00:03:20Marc:It's actually pleasant.
00:03:20Marc:I go out into my backyard and I pee outside.
00:03:23Marc:And it's pretty glorious out where I live.
00:03:25Marc:The Cat Ranch is set in a nice area, my little two-bedroom cabin up here on the hill.
00:03:32Marc:But there's something quite satisfying about standing outside on your back porch or deck.
00:03:38Marc:my rotting deck thanks to the rain it was already rotting now i i don't even trust it i'm afraid to have people over for a dinner party because i don't want a lawsuit because someone fell through the deck but now i'm out there peeing off the deck and i gotta tell you it was it's a good way it's a good way to start the day i recommend it i know some of you city dwellers may not be able to do it but i say you know fuck it break the rules go out into the hallway climb up the stairwell to where the roof door is go out on the roof
00:04:05Marc:Pee off the roof.
00:04:07Marc:Good morning.
00:04:08Marc:I know it's a little cold for that, but that makes it even more exciting.
00:04:12Marc:I'm telling you, I know that maybe in the movie Network, you know, I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore.
00:04:18Marc:I say let's go a little further.
00:04:19Marc:I want people peeing off of their roofs, out of their windows, on the street.
00:04:24Marc:Just peeing.
00:04:26Marc:I think that's statement enough.
00:04:28Marc:And it's not even an angry statement.
00:04:29Marc:It's a declarative statement of one's freedom.
00:04:32Marc:And why should that be taken away from you?
00:04:34Marc:Why am I talking about this?
00:04:36Marc:Then the ritual continues.
00:04:38Marc:I've got a lemon ritual I do where I make lemonade every morning to take my mountain of vitamins.
00:04:44Marc:Now I put oregano in the vitamins because I didn't feel well yesterday.
00:04:47Marc:This always happens to me too.
00:04:49Marc:when I have something important to do, I start to feel like I'm getting sick.
00:04:54Marc:And, you know, I've had a few colds already.
00:04:57Marc:So I took all the vitamins, and then the woman who lives in my house is bringing ice cream into the house on a regular basis.
00:05:02Marc:So last night, you know, like a pint of ice cream, I take a handful of oregano tablets, so I'm burping up caramel, vanilla, and oregano all night, which is not pleasing.
00:05:11Marc:But I digress.
00:05:13Marc:We did the pilot taping last night.
00:05:15Marc:I've been talking about it.
00:05:16Marc:I had a little development deal with Comedy Central to do a pilot presentation, which is basically a TV show.
00:05:23Marc:We made a TV show, a very inexpensive TV show.
00:05:28Marc:What happens in this process is you get a deal.
00:05:30Marc:I pitched a show based on the WTF idea.
00:05:32Marc:I told you I had a co-host, Chelsea Peretti, who you met recently.
00:05:36Marc:And we had film elements.
00:05:37Marc:We had the dumpster diving element.
00:05:40Marc:We had a panel.
00:05:41Marc:Kyle Kinane was on and Laurie Kilmartin, who you'll meet soon on this show.
00:05:44Marc:W. Kamau Bell, also, you'll meet soon on this show.
00:05:49Marc:And we put together...
00:05:51Marc:A TV show with all the elements.
00:05:53Marc:With the money, I hired a producer.
00:05:55Marc:I hired a head writer, Tom Johnson, who some of you know from the morning sedition days.
00:05:59Marc:Just a brilliant guy.
00:06:01Marc:Great team.
00:06:02Marc:Director, a set deck.
00:06:03Marc:And we made a little TV show.
00:06:05Marc:And I invited some of you to come, and some of you did, and I really appreciate you being there.
00:06:09Marc:You made it a great experience for me.
00:06:12Marc:I have not had any method to contact people that are at all like what I do.
00:06:19Marc:In a long time.
00:06:20Marc:And I tell you, it was just nice having people that I knew dug me in the audience, being supportive.
00:06:26Marc:Some of you came down with your WTF shirts and it really made it good because there was a time in my life.
00:06:31Marc:I'm getting too old.
00:06:32Marc:Let me tell you something.
00:06:33Marc:I am getting too old to fucking panic.
00:06:35Marc:And I know I've got a lot of younger people listening to this show.
00:06:39Marc:If you can do yourself any favor at all, give yourself a fucking break and don't freak out so much.
00:06:46Marc:It's a waste of energy.
00:06:47Marc:And eventually, just by virtue of age and wisdom, you will not need to do it anymore.
00:06:52Marc:So if you can get a jump on that and just accept yourself the way you are, where you are in your life, that'll be such a load off your back.
00:07:02Marc:Don't worry about what other people think because most of that is something you're making up anyways.
00:07:07Marc:Just try to be who you are.
00:07:09Marc:All right, you might get hurt, but just try to do it.
00:07:12Marc:Trying to second guess what everyone thinks about you and trying to please people and all that shit.
00:07:19Marc:What a fucking waste of time.
00:07:21Marc:Because you're making it all up and you're denying yourself the freedom to be you.
00:07:26Marc:What am I a motivational speaker?
00:07:28Marc:Well, anyways, what I'd like to say is the show went great.
00:07:31Marc:And of course, yesterday, as usual, when I have something important to do, I spent the entire day feeling like I was getting sick.
00:07:37Marc:Like I have not been stressed out about this thing.
00:07:39Marc:I do not have a lot of stress in my life other than just being me and being awake.
00:07:44Marc:But I was OK with everything.
00:07:45Marc:And then the day of I'm like, oh, my God, I've got cancer.
00:07:50Marc:Something's going on in my body.
00:07:52Marc:What's happening?
00:07:53Marc:After keeping cool for so long, and then I realized, well, maybe it's not a bad thing.
00:07:57Marc:Maybe you won't be so intense and panicky and freaked out and bug-eyed when you get out there.
00:08:03Marc:Maybe this is the God you don't believe in's way of making you relax.
00:08:08Marc:But it went great.
00:08:09Marc:Chelsea was great.
00:08:10Marc:Everybody was great.
00:08:11Marc:It was a great time.
00:08:12Marc:We'll see what happens.
00:08:14Marc:And you know what else I did yesterday?
00:08:15Marc:Here I got to do this big thing.
00:08:17Marc:You got all these executives sitting there from Comedy Central.
00:08:20Marc:Many of them I've known my entire life.
00:08:22Marc:You've been in this business long enough, struggling, trying to make a break of some kind.
00:08:26Marc:These people see you grow up.
00:08:28Marc:They see me in every phase.
00:08:29Marc:They all have stories about how I did something memorable.
00:08:34Marc:I'm not going to say bad.
00:08:35Marc:I'm going to say memorable.
00:08:37Marc:But it seems to dissipate.
00:08:39Marc:All this shit dissipates as you get older.
00:08:42Marc:All I know is that today I'm in the garage.
00:08:45Marc:And I'm talking to you guys.
00:08:47Marc:And I love doing this.
00:08:49Marc:In my mind, if this show doesn't go...
00:08:52Marc:I've got this, and I've never had that before.
00:08:55Marc:I've never had something that I love doing.
00:08:58Marc:I mean, I love doing stand-up, but you're still working for somebody else.
00:09:02Marc:You've got expectations.
00:09:03Marc:So I was excited to get up and get in the garage.
00:09:06Marc:I guess that's good.
00:09:07Marc:I guess it's good.
00:09:08Marc:So what I'm saying to you folks is if this Comedy Central show doesn't work, it's on you.
00:09:14Marc:So you can go to wtfpod.com.
00:09:17Marc:And subscribe or make a donation.
00:09:19Marc:And God knows I appreciate your donations.
00:09:22Marc:It's really keeping me afloat right now.
00:09:25Marc:And I got the t-shirts.
00:09:26Marc:And that was the other thing I was panicking about yesterday.
00:09:29Marc:I am no small businessman.
00:09:31Marc:Let me tell you.
00:09:33Marc:I was working off the wrong Excel sheet.
00:09:34Marc:All of a sudden, I realized there was like eight people that didn't get their T-shirts.
00:09:37Marc:And there's part of me that's just a codependent freak.
00:09:40Marc:And I felt horrible.
00:09:42Marc:So now I had to get new T-shirts printed.
00:09:44Marc:So I got a bunch of new.
00:09:45Marc:Everything's working out.
00:09:46Marc:We got the shirts.
00:09:47Marc:Nerdcock shirts are available.
00:09:50Marc:Not flying off the shelf like I anticipated.
00:09:53Marc:I guess my big funny idea, it becomes a little daunting when one has to wear it.
00:09:57Marc:But I do have the Nerdcock shirts.
00:09:59Marc:And you know what it means.
00:10:01Marc:I emailed Dana D'Armond, the porn star, to see if she would wear one of my nerd cock shirts.
00:10:07Marc:Hey, who cares if I got a box full of nerd cock shirts that nobody wants?
00:10:13Marc:They're special.
00:10:14Marc:And if you don't have the moxie to wear them, then fine.
00:10:17Marc:I wore mine to the Y on Sunday, which in retrospect was a mistake because the Y is a family play.
00:10:23Marc:So I'm walking around, their kids running around.
00:10:24Marc:I got nerd cock on my shirt.
00:10:26Marc:Some parent had to explain that.
00:10:28Marc:How are you going to explain that to a kid?
00:10:30Marc:I have to explain it to adults.
00:10:32Marc:What the fuck does that shirt mean?
00:10:33Marc:It's the new paradigm.
00:10:35Marc:jock cock is dead rock cock is dead nerd cock transcends all he the nerd cock even saying that makes you crazy how's a parent gonna explain that got my hair cut i know the you know there are more important things to think about but this is what this is what my life is i'm all filled with vitamins i got my justcoffee.coop i'm drinking it out of my bill hicks mug pow i just shit my pants
00:11:02Marc:I'm all full of vitamins and lemonade.
00:11:04Marc:Peed outside.
00:11:06Marc:I'm wearing my Thelonious Monk hand-knitted beanie to keep the crazy in.
00:11:11Marc:And I'm sitting in my garage.
00:11:14Marc:Oh, fuck.
00:11:14Marc:I left the heater on.
00:11:16Marc:God damn it.
00:11:19Marc:Sorry about that.
00:11:19Marc:Is that better?
00:11:21Marc:Sorry, Brendan.
00:11:22Marc:Leave this in.
00:11:23Marc:Leave it all in.
00:11:25Marc:Leave all the nitty-gritty heater sounds in.
00:11:29Marc:Fuck it.
00:11:30Marc:Got my haircut yesterday.
00:11:32Marc:That's another thing I don't panic about.
00:11:33Marc:There was a time in my life where your hair equals your identity.
00:11:39Marc:I can watch myself on television over the years and see so many attempts at trying to do something.
00:11:47Marc:I'm not sure what it was.
00:11:48Marc:It wasn't anything specific.
00:11:50Marc:It was just something would make it right.
00:11:52Marc:Some piece of clothing, some haircut, some eyeglass frame.
00:11:57Marc:Something would make it all fit.
00:12:00Marc:And it's just this, it's like I'm a clown.
00:12:04Marc:What clown outfit am I going to show up on?
00:12:06Marc:I went on Conan O'Brien years ago wearing leather pants and a Nehru jacket.
00:12:12Marc:Who the fuck did I think I was?
00:12:13Marc:I'm so glad I've leveled off.
00:12:16Marc:Now I've got like four shirts, three pairs of pants, two, three pairs of shoes, and I commit to them and wear them until they fall apart.
00:12:24Marc:That's who I am.
00:12:25Marc:I'm that guy.
00:12:27Marc:Does he ever change his shirt?
00:12:29Marc:No, I have three shirts.
00:12:32Marc:I like them.
00:12:33Marc:This is what it is.
00:12:34Marc:Then last night I had to be on stage, had to get a haircut, had a mild freak out on the haircut because it was getting long and it's getting bushy and it's getting gray on the sides.
00:12:45Marc:And I look like my father.
00:12:48Marc:So I'm like, I got to look young.
00:12:50Marc:We're for Comedy Central.
00:12:52Marc:You know, I mean, I got to go in.
00:12:55Marc:I got recommended a hairstylist.
00:12:56Marc:I went in there on a Tuesday, the Tuesday before the taping, taking a big risk.
00:13:02Marc:I don't know you.
00:13:03Marc:You don't know me.
00:13:04Marc:Don't fuck this up.
00:13:05Marc:I don't want to go on stage thinking I look like a clown.
00:13:08Marc:I don't want to go on stage with a mullet.
00:13:10Marc:Don't mullet me, baby.
00:13:14Marc:So I got the haircut.
00:13:15Marc:It went all right.
00:13:16Marc:But I was a little panicky and I felt embarrassed.
00:13:19Marc:So I asked a woman who was cutting my hair, Lisa.
00:13:22Marc:Very good.
00:13:23Marc:Very nice lady.
00:13:25Marc:I said, is it normal?
00:13:26Marc:You ever seen guys panic?
00:13:28Marc:You ever seen people panic like this about their hair?
00:13:31Marc:She goes, well, one time there was this woman, but she had other problems.
00:13:36Marc:So I remind you of a woman who had other problems.
00:13:40Marc:Okay, that's fair.
00:13:42Marc:And then she said, I had to actually, I had to fire her.
00:13:46Marc:You get fired by your hairdresser.
00:13:48Marc:You got to be some kind of pain in the ass.
00:13:50Marc:Am I wrong?
00:13:52Marc:Sorry I missed the State of the Union address.
00:13:55Marc:What happened?
00:13:55Marc:Is everything fixed?
00:13:59Marc:I hope everything's fixed.
00:14:01Marc:We got an interesting show today.
00:14:02Marc:I want to mention, because this is going to be on Monday, a lot of you are going to listen to it on Monday, any L.A.
00:14:07Marc:people, I will be at the improv.
00:14:10Marc:Wednesday night with Eugene Merman in some sort of comedy circus that he's operating.
00:14:17Marc:So if you want to come down and see that, you're welcome to.
00:14:22Marc:On this show, I had a nice conversation with a friend of mine, Antonia Crane, who is a stripper slash writer slash badass, pal of mine, blogger,
00:14:37Marc:Interesting community.
00:14:39Marc:We're mixing it up.
00:14:41Marc:Got a lot of good shows coming up.
00:14:43Marc:Got John Caparulo coming up.
00:14:45Marc:Matt Walsh from UCB is coming up.
00:14:48Marc:Got W. Kamau Bell and Dwayne Kennedy.
00:14:51Marc:We're going to get to the bottom of the race issue.
00:14:54Marc:Oh, also on the show, we've got Michael Garvey from Homebound Buddies, a reach-out organization doing the big work.
00:15:03Marc:Enjoy.
00:15:07Enjoy.
00:15:12Marc:so wait what kind of motorcycle do you drive generally well i have a 1973 honda two-stroke so you're like um you're a badass kind of yeah well compared to you i guess yeah well that's the issue uh will you ride bitch yeah i'll ride bitch yeah i mean i don't have any problem with riding bitch why do you find that most men won't ride bitch
00:15:37Guest 1:They don't generally like to.
00:15:38Guest 1:I don't like writing, bitch.
00:15:39Guest 1:I like to be in the driver's seat.
00:15:41Marc:Yeah.
00:15:41Marc:Okay.
00:15:42Marc:So always?
00:15:43Guest 1:No, not always.
00:15:45Marc:All right.
00:15:46Guest 1:Well, my guess- Because there's limits to that.
00:15:48Marc:Well, I think that you probably have a long list of limits that I don't even understand.
00:15:54Marc:My guess is Antonia Crane.
00:15:56Marc:She is a writer.
00:15:58Marc:She writes a lot about the sex industry, which she has been part of in one way or another for how many years?
00:16:04Guest 1:Since I was in my mother's womb.
00:16:07Marc:Really?
00:16:07Guest 1:About 17 years.
00:16:10Marc:What does that mean when people talk about the sex industry?
00:16:13Marc:Because I have not had a lot of women on the show, number one.
00:16:16Guest 1:I noticed that.
00:16:18Guest 1:I'm going to spank you for that later.
00:16:19Guest 1:I need more from you.
00:16:21Guest 1:Because I need more from you.
00:16:22Marc:We'll do it.
00:16:23Marc:We'll try to get that done.
00:16:25Marc:But this is also something that I don't usually do on the show.
00:16:29Marc:It's like I primarily talk to comedians, but I know you.
00:16:32Marc:We've talked about a little before.
00:16:34Marc:Now, because the sex industry thing, I've talked about porn on this show.
00:16:38Marc:Now, here's a couple things you should know about me.
00:16:42Marc:First of all, let me ask you, what does the sex industry, what does that cover?
00:16:46Guest 1:Okay, the sex industry is just an umbrella term.
00:16:48Guest 1:It involves everything performative.
00:16:50Guest 1:It includes sex.
00:16:51Guest 1:It includes stripping, dancing, bikini dancers, bachelor party girls, escort, lap dancing, porn, everything like that.
00:17:00Marc:And this is a... It's an umbrella term.
00:17:02Marc:Okay, but I guess my primary issue is that in my mind, I watch porn, but I don't get attached to it.
00:17:11Guest 1:Are you ashamed of it?
00:17:12Guest 1:Are you ashamed of your desire?
00:17:14Marc:No, no, no.
00:17:14Marc:I'm not ashamed of my desire, but I think I'm fairly short-sighted in that I use it to get to a place that makes me feel good, and then I'm sort of done with it.
00:17:22Marc:I don't find a tremendous amount of joy in having a collection or watching it for long periods of time.
00:17:28Guest 1:You're not emotionally invested in it.
00:17:30Marc:Right.
00:17:31Marc:And there's some part of me that thinks there's something wrong with it, not on a moral level, but like I think one of the things I'd like to talk about is that I think there's this idea that people in porn or people in the sex industry are just fucked up.
00:17:44Guest 1:yeah there is that cliche and people like tyra banks love to exploit that and and show how people are fucked up and they've been abused and but you know i do have to say that um that cliche exists for a reason and nobody ends up in the sex industry by accident okay there are a lot of really great well-rounded complex brilliant individuals in the sex industry
00:18:06Marc:So you're saying that what she's saying has some foundation and truth, but it's not the overall case.
00:18:13Marc:Right.
00:18:13Marc:Like there are plenty of people that get fucked up and end up there, you know, not necessarily against their will, but because they're fucked up and they're taken advantage of.
00:18:20Marc:But that doesn't diminish the fact that there's still a lot of great people in it.
00:18:24Guest 1:Absolutely.
00:18:25Guest 1:They're all great people.
00:18:25Guest 1:It's just it's a workforce.
00:18:27Guest 1:I mean, do you think, oh, waitresses, God, they must be so fucked up.
00:18:30Guest 1:Yeah, I think bartenders.
00:18:31Guest 1:Oh, my God.
00:18:31Guest 1:They were molested by their uncle and their father and their mothers and their sex addicts.
00:18:35Guest 1:And oh, shit.
00:18:37Guest 1:No, I don't think sex industry is the same way.
00:18:38Marc:Well, I do like to find that out about a waitress after.
00:18:42Marc:That's always a pleasant surprise when you meet a waitress that has all those attributes.
00:18:46Marc:Great, she's fucked up and crazy and was abused, and she's perfect.
00:18:49Guest 1:I'm going to marry her.
00:18:50Marc:Yeah, she's great.
00:18:51Guest 1:Yeah.
00:18:51Guest 1:Bank tellers.
00:18:52Marc:Sure.
00:18:53Guest 1:Everybody's fucked up.
00:18:54Guest 1:Any labor force you're going to find.
00:18:55Guest 1:And I think that...
00:18:59Guest 1:The problem that we have is that the media, what they're shown is just this very narrow version of sex workers and how they're portrayed in the media is as fuck-ups.
00:19:09Guest 1:And people like Tyra Banks and other people that love to show, sex workers show them as, you know, fuck-ups.
00:19:14Marc:And the weird thing about it is to me is that, you know, the sex industry has obviously been around forever, but there's something has happened in the last 10 years or so where I've talked about this a bit before, where everything has been pornified.
00:19:27Marc:I mean, I the mainstreaming of strippers and porn that's happened in the last 10 years is just mind blowing to me.
00:19:33Marc:Is that is that a plus for the point for the for the world?
00:19:38Guest 1:I don't know.
00:19:38Guest 1:I do think we're saturated with porn.
00:19:41Guest 1:It's complicated.
00:19:42Marc:Okay, what's uncomplicated?
00:19:43Guest 1:Okay, let's uncomplicated.
00:19:45Guest 1:So, I mean, I think the problem is that people are so repressed.
00:19:48Guest 1:And I think that the sex industry gives an outlet to people's desire that they feel shitty about and repressed about.
00:19:53Guest 1:It gives them kind of a safe forum, a consensual safe forum, which brings me to, you know, obscenity laws in California and obscenity laws in general and the definition of prostitution in California.
00:20:04Guest 1:Like, why is porn legal?
00:20:06Guest 1:Why can actresses do double anal?
00:20:10Guest 1:At all.
00:20:10Marc:I mean, just physically, it seems difficult.
00:20:15Marc:Why can they?
00:20:16Guest 1:But a girl can't give a hand job legally.
00:20:19Guest 1:She can get busted for that.
00:20:20Marc:But couldn't the person doing double anal get busted if they went to the house?
00:20:24Guest 1:If there was money exchanged.
00:20:26Marc:Which there is.
00:20:27Guest 1:So you're saying that's the hypocrisy.
00:20:29Guest 1:Well, the First Amendment protects the freedom of expression, the right to free speech, free speech and freedom of expression is covered under the First Amendment.
00:20:36Guest 1:So that's it's considered an art form.
00:20:38Guest 1:That's where it's sticky, too, because I would say, how dare you say that my what I do for a living isn't an art form.
00:20:45Guest 1:It is very much.
00:20:45Guest 1:It's an art form.
00:20:46Marc:Giving handjobs.
00:20:47Guest 1:Well, giving hand jobs, dancing.
00:20:49Guest 1:I've been mostly an exotic dancer for 17 years.
00:20:52Marc:Now, you were just with a client before you got here.
00:20:55Guest 1:I was.
00:20:55Marc:And what kind of client was that?
00:20:59Guest 1:He's a 60-plus-year-old black man with Parkinson's disease.
00:21:03Guest 1:Yeah.
00:21:04Guest 1:And he got an erotic massage from me and a girl that I work with.
00:21:08Guest 1:So we do a lot of girl-girl stuff, and it's really fun and safe.
00:21:12Guest 1:And we do a girl-girl show.
00:21:15Marc:How much does something like that go for?
00:21:16Marc:uh we made 400 so 200 each that's pretty good hours work one hour not bad actually you know it's like your therapist it's like a 45 minute hour see now i completely agree with that see that seems reasonable and responsible and i think that they should have like in the workplace i think they should have someone like you come and say like look if anybody is stressing out today or or is angry um antonia is here she'll be in this in the break room
00:21:44Marc:From one to three, if anybody wants a hand job or wants to see her and her friends stick their fingers in each other.
00:21:51Marc:Okay?
00:21:51Guest 1:It's totally hot.
00:21:52Guest 1:And if you film us, we have the right to free speech and freedom of expression.
00:21:56Marc:But if you don't film us, we're breaking the law.
00:21:57Guest 1:Exactly.
00:21:58Marc:Do you do film?
00:21:59Guest 1:I don't.
00:22:00Guest 1:Well, you know.
00:22:01Marc:Is there any out there that you don't know about?
00:22:04Marc:Because I looked and I couldn't find anything.
00:22:06Guest 1:Well, I've actually, I've been a porn extra.
00:22:08Guest 1:I'm a terrible porn extra.
00:22:10Guest 1:I'm an extra in two porns.
00:22:11Guest 1:What does that mean?
00:22:13Guest 1:I'm an extra.
00:22:13Guest 1:It means I was wearing a ball gown in a hundred year old building in Pasadena.
00:22:18Guest 1:I was actually making everybody laugh.
00:22:20Guest 1:Yeah.
00:22:20Guest 1:And I got in trouble and they kept like, are you done yet?
00:22:23Marc:Yeah.
00:22:24Marc:This is serious business here.
00:22:25Guest 1:This is serious business.
00:22:25Guest 1:Are you done yet?
00:22:26Marc:She's got two dicks in her, please.
00:22:27Guest 1:Yeah.
00:22:28Marc:let her focus i was making kieran lee laugh and um they just got pissed at me and so i'm a bad porn extra i look right into the camera and i'm totally irritating and it's not enough money anyway it's just for me it was just fun it was a fun thing to write about it's sort of funny the idea that like the the joke is a porn actors and actresses can't act so like the the idea that there's porn extras that's something that's got to be like the next rundown not it's saying that you're not talented but i mean who wants to be a porn extra
00:22:53Guest 1:I started at the top and I'm making my way down.
00:22:56Marc:That's good.
00:22:56Marc:Yeah.
00:22:57Marc:It's good.
00:22:57Marc:It's humbling.
00:22:59Guest 1:I have a master's degree in creative writing.
00:23:04Marc:And that's what you're working on a memoir.
00:23:05Guest 1:I'm working on a memoir.
00:23:06Marc:I want to get back.
00:23:07Marc:We're going to talk about that, but I need to get... Let's get to the bottom of this.
00:23:10Marc:See, I'm not a guy... I've done radio shows, okay?
00:23:13Marc:And I've been around... I still have... I don't know if it's reverence or nervousness for people...
00:23:18Marc:Yeah, in the sex industry.
00:23:20Marc:But I'm not a guy like I've done Opie and Anthony.
00:23:21Marc:I've been on shows where they have porn actresses.
00:23:24Marc:And basically, the angle on those shows is they sit around and go, all right, so when you take a dick out of your ass and you suck it, I mean, that's pretty good, right?
00:23:32Marc:They don't have a discussion about it.
00:23:34Marc:And for me, I'm just trying to figure out why I get, because I'm not a prude, but I'm also not that pervy.
00:23:39Marc:I never crave weird things.
00:23:43Marc:I don't have any real fetishes.
00:23:45Marc:I like when things feel connected and good.
00:23:48Marc:Like if there's connected sex, I'm good with it.
00:23:51Guest 1:That brings me to the next point.
00:23:52Guest 1:I don't know if you're a prude.
00:23:53Guest 1:Maybe I will have the pleasure of finding that out for myself.
00:23:56Guest 1:But you brought up an interesting thing that people, although you don't have to connect love and sex.
00:24:04Guest 1:Right.
00:24:04Guest 1:It's great when it happens.
00:24:05Guest 1:I think the reason why.
00:24:06Marc:I wasn't talking about love.
00:24:07Marc:I just connected sex.
00:24:08Guest 1:Connection.
00:24:09Guest 1:Well, I think that people seek out sex workers like myself and dancers and bikini girls and bachelor party girls and whatever, escorts, because I think that Americans are volcanically lonely.
00:24:19Marc:Oh, interesting.
00:24:20Guest 1:And I think that's what we were talking about in terms of culture.
00:24:22Guest 1:You were interested in the sex industry and what it means in the culture today.
00:24:25Marc:Volcanically lonely.
00:24:26Guest 1:And that's from reading a lot of Steve Allman.
00:24:29Guest 1:I love how he talks about sex in a really awkward, kind of a lonely, painful way.
00:24:32Guest 1:And I think that that is absolutely true about people in general, that they're looking for a connection.
00:24:36Marc:Yeah.
00:24:37Guest 1:Because they're volcanically lonely.
00:24:39Marc:Which means they're about to explode with loneliness.
00:24:41Guest 1:Yeah.
00:24:42Guest 1:I do think that.
00:24:43Guest 1:And so they're looking for that connection, and sex workers offer that connection.
00:24:46Guest 1:Now, whether it's tenuous, if it's for an hour, or if it's every week, Thursday between 1130 and 1230, every week, they want a connection.
00:24:56Marc:See, that's the one thing that's interesting because I've never been a person that... And the computer can't offer that.
00:25:02Marc:That's right.
00:25:02Guest 1:By the way.
00:25:02Marc:You can't offer smell and feel and touch and talk and connection.
00:25:07Marc:Yeah.
00:25:08Marc:And I think that's interesting because I never really sought that out, but I understand it.
00:25:12Marc:Like I know because in my business, I know friends of mine...
00:25:15Marc:that do engage in paying people to do that stuff.
00:25:20Marc:And I understand it.
00:25:22Marc:Why wouldn't you do that?
00:25:23Marc:There's boundaries.
00:25:24Marc:There's a context.
00:25:26Marc:There's a service being provided.
00:25:27Marc:It's a service industry.
00:25:30Marc:Right.
00:25:31Marc:And why don't I do that?
00:25:34Marc:I don't know why.
00:25:35Guest 1:Because you have issues.
00:25:36Marc:Well, no, because I don't need to.
00:25:37Marc:I don't feel like I need to.
00:25:39Marc:But there are people that aren't volcanically lonely that say, well, twice a month, I'm going to have her come over and do that thing that only she does.
00:25:48Marc:That's different.
00:25:49Marc:That's not loneliness.
00:25:49Guest 1:I think that that's also that people are kind of bored and anxious to a point where it's kind of an epidemic.
00:25:54Guest 1:And that brings us back to the psych meds thing and the culture.
00:25:58Guest 1:People that work really hard, like, for example, the other day I had a guy who's very powerful and he works downtown.
00:26:03Guest 1:He's an attorney.
00:26:04Guest 1:And he's, you know, 69 years old and married and kids and loves talking about his kids and his family.
00:26:09Guest 1:And I make it really clear to these guys that I'm here to enhance your life, not help you cheat on your wife.
00:26:15Guest 1:Like, I'm really clear about that.
00:26:17Marc:But he has a wife.
00:26:18Guest 1:And he has a wife.
00:26:19Guest 1:I'm not helping him cheat on his wife.
00:26:21Guest 1:I'm just here to enhance his life.
00:26:23Guest 1:And he has this subversive desire.
00:26:24Guest 1:And I love that.
00:26:26Guest 1:There's nothing sexier or maybe, but it's very sexy to me when a man knows exactly what he wants.
00:26:31Guest 1:He brought all of his toys and his thigh-high fishnets, red.
00:26:35Marc:Oh, so that's very specific.
00:26:37Guest 1:And he brought weights and cock and ball torture and nipple torture and all these toys.
00:26:40Guest 1:And it was just, it was a ball.
00:26:42Guest 1:I had a total blast.
00:26:43Marc:Wow.
00:26:43Marc:Holy shit, that's a lot of equipment.
00:26:44Guest 1:And he wants to have fun.
00:26:45Guest 1:He works his ass off.
00:26:46Guest 1:He probably brings home 500 grand a year.
00:26:49Guest 1:He works 70 hours a week.
00:26:51Guest 1:And he wants to have fun.
00:26:52Guest 1:He's bored.
00:26:53Guest 1:He's anxious.
00:26:53Guest 1:He's overworked.
00:26:55Guest 1:And he wants to have a good time.
00:26:56Marc:But why can't he do that stuff with his wife?
00:26:59Guest 1:Why can't he do that stuff with his wife?
00:27:00Marc:Right.
00:27:01Marc:That's not your problem.
00:27:01Guest 1:Because monogamy doesn't really work.
00:27:03Guest 1:Well, no, I do feel like I have an obligation to the wife, actually.
00:27:06Marc:Okay.
00:27:07Marc:And how does that weigh on you?
00:27:09Guest 1:Well, I don't fuck for money.
00:27:11Guest 1:Okay.
00:27:12Guest 1:I mean, again, I'm here to enhance their lives, not help them cheat on their wife.
00:27:16Marc:Okay.
00:27:18Marc:So what are the parameters of what you do?
00:27:21Guest 1:personally no I mean like in that situation you're not fucking him you're doing this I actually did fuck him with his dildo in his ass the dildo that vibrates and goes up his ass I made him fuck himself I helped him with that process made him look in the mirror he called me his you know I called him my dirty little fuck hole he was really into that and it was beautiful okay but so the boundary you didn't cross was fucking for money and doing that my dress never even came off
00:27:47Marc:See, this is the whole world.
00:27:50Guest 1:Like, you know, I don't... And it was a connection.
00:27:51Guest 1:And how dare you say that that's not a performance.
00:27:54Guest 1:Like, that's not art.
00:27:55Guest 1:Not you, but you being California.
00:27:56Marc:Just picturing it to me, I felt like it was a performance.
00:27:58Guest 1:It's performance art.
00:28:00Guest 1:It is.
00:28:00Guest 1:And it is a genuine connection.
00:28:02Guest 1:But I don't let them into my life.
00:28:04Guest 1:Like, I'm not going to go, you know, to a tea party with this guy or, like, go to one of his depositions.
00:28:09Guest 4:Right.
00:28:09Guest 1:But, you know, he evidently needs an outlet.
00:28:12Guest 1:And he's not alone.
00:28:13Guest 1:There are millions and millions of guys out there like him that need an outlet.
00:28:17Guest 1:And they may or may not be volcanically lonely.
00:28:19Guest 1:I think that people kind of are.
00:28:21Marc:No, I think that's true.
00:28:22Marc:And I guess it like I guess the way I characterize it in my head, I guess there's a couple of things going on.
00:28:27Marc:I think that specifically pornography on the Internet can become an issue to certain people because they never stop and it can destroy their life.
00:28:35Marc:And I think it can destroy their relationships.
00:28:37Guest 1:You're talking about sex addiction.
00:28:38Marc:Sex addiction and also the fact that, you know, I know personally people that get to a point with pornography where they're unable to connect with women in any other way other than, you know, seeing them as these one dimensional things.
00:28:52Marc:I've seen that happen, but that's their own issue.
00:28:54Marc:And that comes from volcanic loneliness, but that comes from an element of disconnection.
00:28:58Marc:which I think internet porn causes.
00:29:00Guest 1:It's a shield.
00:29:02Guest 1:It's yet another shield.
00:29:03Guest 1:But we're talking about interfacing with another human thing, and that is a connection, and it's very intense.
00:29:08Guest 1:And then they can leave and go on with their life.
00:29:10Marc:Their day.
00:29:11Guest 1:Their day, their deposition.
00:29:12Marc:Their county job.
00:29:15Marc:I don't know why my brain wants to twist it into something that's weird or that seems wrong.
00:29:21Guest 1:People are complex.
00:29:22Marc:Yeah?
00:29:23Marc:I know they are.
00:29:24Guest 1:And desire is complex.
00:29:26Guest 1:And it doesn't really fit into his life.
00:29:28Guest 1:I mean, I don't know why he keeps it.
00:29:29Marc:But what if his wife found out about it?
00:29:31Guest 1:I don't know.
00:29:32Marc:What would happen?
00:29:33Guest 1:Maybe she would divorce them or maybe she'd be like, cool, honey, will you put on those thigh-high red fishnets for me?
00:29:38Marc:And that puts you out of a gig, so you don't want that to happen.
00:29:41Guest 1:It does put me out of a gig.
00:29:42Marc:You hope that their repression stays, that you're the only one that they can trust their fetishes with, right?
00:29:50Marc:Yeah.
00:29:51Marc:How is the recession treating, how is it affecting the sex industry?
00:29:54Guest 1:Yeah.
00:29:54Guest 1:Well, that's an interesting point to bring up because I have a column that talks all about sex work and recession and the recession.
00:30:02Guest 1:Well, specifically to L.A.
00:30:04Guest 1:L.A.
00:30:04Guest 1:sucks for dancing.
00:30:05Guest 1:You can't touch in the clubs here.
00:30:07Guest 1:It's the ABC laws.
00:30:08Guest 1:There's no touching where there's alcohol in the clubs.
00:30:10Guest 1:And so you're actually giving an air dance, which is complete.
00:30:13Guest 1:It's ridiculous.
00:30:14Marc:You can't have full nudity where there's alcohol.
00:30:16Guest 1:Exactly.
00:30:17Guest 1:No, not even topless.
00:30:18Guest 1:You cannot show nipples.
00:30:20Guest 1:But you can in the Bible Belt.
00:30:21Guest 1:Explain me that.
00:30:22Marc:I don't know what that is.
00:30:23Guest 1:What is the logic?
00:30:25Guest 1:So I go to New Orleans to dance, where the laws... I'm not sure what the laws specifically are in Louisiana.
00:30:30Guest 4:Are there laws in Louisiana?
00:30:32Guest 1:People go to Louisiana to break rules and break loose.
00:30:36Guest 1:I think there is a no-touching rule, but no one abides by it.
00:30:39Guest 1:It's like Texas.
00:30:40Guest 1:They're like, we don't give a shit.
00:30:40Guest 1:We're going to touch in the clubs here.
00:30:42Marc:Well, that happens here, too.
00:30:44Guest 1:Where?
00:30:45Marc:I had maybe...
00:30:47Marc:one so you have been to a strip club well yeah you're not approved no no no i just i don't like my my only issue with a lot of this type of stuff is that there's part of me that wants to believe that they really like me and and i'm sort of a sucker like that so like i know that they do but not in the way that you may be in your fantasy it goes
00:31:08Marc:I don't even know if it's a fantasy.
00:31:09Marc:I just want to know that I'm different, that I'm not just another guy that's doing this thing.
00:31:14Marc:And I know that if I go to a strip club and I experience that, if I see a woman where I'm like, no, if I feel that connection, the intelligent part of me knows she's really good at her job.
00:31:26Marc:The ridiculous, infantile, insecure part of me thinks like, no, no, she really likes me.
00:31:32Marc:So when that happens, it's good.
00:31:34Marc:It's rewarding.
00:31:35Marc:But ultimately, it's a little frustrating.
00:31:36Marc:But anyway, so I go to this club.
00:31:38Marc:And there was it was no alcohol, but so you can touch.
00:31:43Marc:right spearmint rhino probably right but i mean i didn't realize you could touch that much uh-huh like what are the parameters of that because i you know i was able to do more things than i assumed i would be able to do and i literally i was like do you want to give me your phone number do you want to get married do you want to move in with me right move in stripper in a u-haul let's do it so before i talk about the spearmint rhino i just have to say that i'm 100 years old and stripper
00:32:08Guest 1:That said, Spearmint Rhino, because there's no alcohol, they hire girls like 18 years old.
00:32:14Guest 1:So it's a bunch of 18-year-old girls.
00:32:16Guest 1:And there is touching.
00:32:18Guest 1:And there's probably a lot more that goes on in those clubs.
00:32:21Guest 1:However, the corporate douchebags that run the Spearmint Rhino and clubs like the Spearmint Rhino...
00:32:27Guest 1:charge a thing called stage fees, and they extort money from a girl's tips, which is illegal in the state of California, but they get away with it left and right.
00:32:34Marc:You mean they're actually pushing them to push their limits?
00:32:37Guest 1:Yes, they push them to push their limits.
00:32:38Guest 1:If a girl makes $1,500, the club gets $700 of it or more.
00:32:42Guest 1:They're total pimps.
00:32:43Guest 1:It's total pandering.
00:32:44Guest 1:I refuse to work for the Experiment Rhino because of that, and places like the Experiment Rhino because they're run by douchebags, and they extort money from a girl's tips, which is totally illegal in the state of California.
00:32:55Marc:Got it.
00:32:55Marc:But getting back around to respecting the community of sex industry.
00:33:00Marc:Yeah.
00:33:00Marc:When I read a piece and I don't think I'd ever really looked at it quite like this because I've been a little condescending towards.
00:33:06Marc:You know, there's girls and no modern day burlesque and sort of retro stripping in the sense that to me, I respect the form and I'm glad that people were kind of reinventing those old dances and the style of that.
00:33:21Marc:But I thought it was sort of like a silly, almost like circus, that it wasn't real sex workers.
00:33:28Marc:It was sort of like girls who may not have ever really done that, going, well, I can do it if it's like this, you know, and safe.
00:33:36Marc:And I sort of condescended to it.
00:33:37Marc:But there is a piece that you did.
00:33:38Guest 1:That's funny, because burlesque dancers kind of look down upon strippers.
00:33:43Guest 1:I found they think they're better than...
00:33:44Guest 1:Oh, no.
00:33:45Marc:See, I go the other way.
00:33:47Marc:What I learned from reading the interview you did with with one of the women, I think that you met in New Orleans.
00:33:52Marc:I can't remember her name, a dancer, but there was she was talking about the idea that the community of women in the community of sex workers, they're almost like pirates and gypsies and people.
00:34:03Guest 1:Yeah, that's Laura Jackson.
00:34:03Guest 1:She's in New Orleans right now.
00:34:05Marc:Right.
00:34:05Marc:And being somebody who is from comedians, and we're really the same, and we're just a bunch of borderline outlaws and social awkward people with weird stories that have chosen a life that is anything but mainstream, that doesn't really yield much security, but it's what we want to do, and there's a certain freedom in it.
00:34:24Marc:that I was able to sort of frame it in a different way.
00:34:28Marc:And now it sort of made more sense to me why there are so many, I know a lot of comics and strippers and porn people have always been sort of around comedy, certainly in LA, but even since Lenny Bruce, his wife was a stripper, but it's because we live this life.
00:34:44Guest 1:That's a great interview to bring up because the great thing about Laura Jackson, you know how we talk about, oh, we all have our issues around the industry.
00:34:53Guest 1:Well, strippers do too.
00:34:54Guest 1:And one of her things was that she never thought she was pretty enough to dance.
00:34:58Guest 1:And so it was very empowering for her to get hired at these clubs and to do this.
00:35:02Guest 1:And then she really has a lot of love for her fellow dancers.
00:35:05Guest 1:She's like, oh, my gosh, so-and-so is a great hustler.
00:35:07Guest 1:And she models herself after them and learns.
00:35:09Guest 1:It's such a playground of learning.
00:35:12Marc:Right.
00:35:13Marc:Learning how to... And also I think that there's... I guess my concern in talking about it is that the crux of my intellectual issue with post-porn feminism and empowerment through the taking back of sexuality and sexual power is that there's sort of a fine line in it in that you can intellectualize that and certainly somebody who approaches it like you do can sort of...
00:35:43Marc:speak to that but i'm not sure that there is empowerment in you know like a bukkake film or in like in graphic representations or sort of almost rape uh pornography and women who don't have the same kind of control that you're speaking of so i think that you know some sometimes there's another it gets a little confusing that there really is a difference between the idea of owning yourself taking responsibility for working in the industry you work in and those people who are victims
00:36:13Marc:In the industry.
00:36:16Guest 1:Yes, it can be very depressing.
00:36:18Guest 1:I worked in the Market Street Cinema, which there were a lot of addicts, a lot of junkies, a lot of homeless girls.
00:36:22Guest 1:Very sad.
00:36:25Guest 1:But the difference and my situation is unique to not in like a Cody Diablo type of unique where she's a hell of a writer, but she's a poser.
00:36:33Guest 1:She could have left the industry at any time.
00:36:36Guest 1:She had an office job the whole time she was dancing.
00:36:38Guest 1:I'm talking about her book, A Year in the Life of the Unlikely Stripper.
00:36:41Guest 1:Hell of a writer again, but poser.
00:36:44Guest 1:And just because you say you're a poser doesn't mean I forgive you.
00:36:46Guest 1:You're just a poser.
00:36:47Guest 1:You're a poser anyway.
00:36:48Guest 1:Look at you, you're a poser.
00:36:49Guest 1:But girls who do it because they need, and I needed it.
00:36:51Guest 1:I didn't have any other job.
00:36:53Guest 1:I didn't feel that I had any options.
00:36:55Guest 1:Now I have options.
00:36:56Guest 1:I have a couple of college degrees, and I'm choosing to do it.
00:36:59Guest 1:And I'm sober.
00:37:00Guest 1:I took all I took my clothes off sober.
00:37:02Guest 1:Yeah, I started I wasn't doing it to fuel a drug habit or support a junkie boyfriend.
00:37:08Guest 3:Right.
00:37:09Guest 1:But there was that.
00:37:10Guest 1:However, those girls are contacting me on Facebook and their teachers and writers and one is in that book I gave you.
00:37:16Marc:Actually, that's a that's an issue of what's the name of the magazine?
00:37:19Guest 1:Black Clock.
00:37:20Guest 1:And that's Cal Arts, California.
00:37:21Marc:It's a literary literary journal.
00:37:23Guest 1:Yeah.
00:37:24Marc:And you have a chapter from your memoir.
00:37:25Guest 1:Yeah.
00:37:26Guest 1:Do you have a title for your memoir?
00:37:28Guest 1:Tales of a Sexual Outlaw.
00:37:30Marc:Oh, shit.
00:37:31Guest 1:So, you know, it's not always empowering for women and it is depressing.
00:37:34Guest 1:I mean, you think I haven't left a strip club crying in tears because I couldn't you know, I didn't make any money and it's humiliating.
00:37:39Guest 1:It's humiliating.
00:37:40Guest 1:It can be humiliating.
00:37:41Marc:Well, that type of humiliation is something I can understand that if I go do a stand-up show and I don't make people laugh, I certainly feel bad.
00:37:47Marc:I feel embarrassed.
00:37:48Guest 1:I'm not saying that we don't need to champion every night of work.
00:37:51Marc:But I'm just saying that I think some people get into the sex industry who are definitely taken advantage of and victimized.
00:37:57Guest 1:Absolutely.
00:37:57Guest 1:I met 19-year-old runaways with pimps who were turning tricks.
00:38:02Guest 1:It can be very depressing.
00:38:04Marc:So what's the solution to that?
00:38:06Marc:Because that seems to be what the media goes with.
00:38:09Marc:That seems to be what the criticism of the sex industry is, is that all these women are damaged.
00:38:14Marc:And as we know, as I know, that you can be damaged, but rise above your damage and still not necessarily change what you do in life, but you have a different disposition about it.
00:38:24Marc:So I guess my question is, what do you do about those girls?
00:38:28Guest 1:Well, everybody knows that hookers and strippers are too stupid to figure it out for themselves.
00:38:31Guest 1:And I'm being facetious.
00:38:35Guest 1:There's all kinds in the industry.
00:38:37Guest 1:In any industry, I guess.
00:38:38Guest 1:And I think that...
00:38:40Marc:because we have a religious agenda and a view about sex that's very uh shaming that they like to focus on those strippers and those hookers and those but hasn't it got a lot less i mean let's be honest that's the other thing that's amazing being is obviously the sex industry is making a fuckload of money yeah because like if you look at the reagan administration that you know they had the meese report they you know porno was the enemy they were gonna clamp down and they haven't done fucking anything
00:39:05Marc:In about 10 years, you don't even hear about it.
00:39:08Marc:And the only reason I can see is that it's driving the internet.
00:39:12Marc:There must be billions of dollars being made specifically on the internet with porn.
00:39:18Marc:And that's going up through the politicians and through everything else because you don't even hear about it.
00:39:23Marc:I mean, no one ever talks about pornography as a social issue anymore.
00:39:28Marc:It's fucking mind-blowing.
00:39:29Guest 1:It's big business.
00:39:31Guest 1:But the porn companies, they're not making as many films because everything is digital and online and free.
00:39:36Marc:You know who's making money?
00:39:37Marc:Corporations like GE.
00:39:38Marc:Yeah.
00:39:39Marc:People that own the hotel room porn franchise.
00:39:42Guest 1:Sure.
00:39:43Marc:It's big business.
00:39:44Marc:A lot of legit corporations are making a fortune.
00:39:46Guest 1:So strippers are a threat to that infrastructure.
00:39:48Guest 1:Hookers, specifically escort girls, are a threat to that infrastructure because they are making money.
00:39:54Guest 1:We are making money ourselves.
00:39:56Guest 1:We're not handing it over to a club.
00:39:57Marc:You can do it pimpless now.
00:39:59Guest 1:Pimplessly.
00:39:59Marc:Go pimpless on the internet.
00:40:01Guest 1:Go pimpless.
00:40:02Guest 1:It's my jam.
00:40:03Marc:Now, okay, so in wrapping up here, do we legalize prostitution in some way?
00:40:09Marc:I mean, what would you like to see?
00:40:11Marc:What would be the healthiest thing for the industry that you work in and also taking care of women who are in it who don't want to be in it that have found themselves there?
00:40:18Guest 1:helping them transition out of the industry.
00:40:20Guest 1:I was a counselor for triple diagnosed youth in San Francisco.
00:40:23Marc:What does triple diagnosed mean?
00:40:25Guest 1:It's am they're infected with HIV, psych issues, and drug and alcohol abuse issues, 17 to 24 year olds.
00:40:32Guest 1:But more importantly, I gave lectures to women who are transitioning out of the industry, like job readiness programs, and also just harm reduction.
00:40:43Guest 1:Basically, if they're on the streets turning tricks, like here's how you cheek a condom.
00:40:46Guest 1:Don't ever go into an alley.
00:40:47Guest 1:Don't get into a car with someone you don't know.
00:40:49Guest 1:Don't go somewhere you're not familiar with.
00:40:50Guest 1:You know, just talking openly with women in shelters about sex education, self-care and harm reduction.
00:40:58Marc:Right.
00:40:59Guest 1:So just I don't know why we're on that topic.
00:41:01Guest 1:I guess it's just I'm passionate about it.
00:41:03Marc:No, it's an important topic to sort of frame this in a different way than what most people look at it.
00:41:08Guest 1:Back to the labor issue, too.
00:41:09Guest 1:I wrote a screenplay with a friend about we unionized the Lusty Lady in 95 to 97.
00:41:16Guest 1:I remember when that happened.
00:41:17Guest 1:SEIU Local 790 Exotic Dancers Alliance.
00:41:19Marc:I was there.
00:41:19Marc:I was in San Francisco in 93.
00:41:22Marc:So it was starting to happen.
00:41:24Marc:I remember there were street actions.
00:41:25Guest 1:It was a very political time.
00:41:26Guest 1:We picketed...
00:41:27Marc:Yeah, I remember that.
00:41:28Guest 1:So I have a screenplay about that.
00:41:29Marc:Oh, that's exciting.
00:41:30Guest 1:And so my co-writer and I, Silas Howard, we are on a second draft of a screenplay.
00:41:37Guest 1:It's kind of exciting.
00:41:38Guest 1:That's great.
00:41:38Guest 1:About that time in research industry.
00:41:40Marc:And you're working on a memoir.
00:41:41Guest 1:I'm working on a memoir.
00:41:42Marc:And you have a, what is it, a weekly column?
00:41:45Guest 1:Monthly.
00:41:45Marc:Monthly on The Rumpus.
00:41:46Guest 1:On The Rumpus.
00:41:46Guest 1:That's Stephen Elliott's website.
00:41:48Marc:And you ride a motorcycle.
00:41:50Guest 1:I'm working.
00:41:51Marc:Yeah.
00:41:52Guest 1:Yeah, I don't want a sugar daddy.
00:41:54Guest 1:I want to retire with money in the bank, and I want a book deal.
00:41:57Marc:Okay.
00:41:58Marc:Let's see if we can make that happen.
00:41:59Marc:So if anyone out there has found this, who wants to sign...
00:42:04Marc:antonia to a book deal uh yeah contact me if you want to uh make her movie uh i'll forward her the email if you want you want to flash me yeah if you want to flash her apparently you can just do that um if you want the hand job the double girl thing
00:42:24Guest 1:Well, we'll have to refinance this garage if you want a handjob, Mark.
00:42:27Guest 1:Yeah?
00:42:28Guest 1:Yeah, because I want to give you a lot of handjobs, so we're going to have to refinance your garage so you can afford it.
00:42:34Marc:This interview is going to cost me.
00:42:36Marc:So I guess we'll finish up, and I guess I've got to decide whether I'm going to... I'll leave you to imagine that.
00:42:45Marc:Thank you for talking to me.
00:42:46Guest 1:Thank you.
00:42:48Thank you.
00:42:56Marc:I know some of you are losing faith in my booking ability because I do try to book people that are helpful and that are doing things in the world because I don't really do political talk radio anymore, but certainly I want to reach out to people any way I can because a lot of us are experiencing the same type of frustrations and anger and problems.
00:43:15Marc:And I haven't always batted a thousand with guests, but we try to do what we can.
00:43:20Marc:And I'm hoping today, you know, we'll sort of renew your faith in my ability.
00:43:26Marc:Because today I found a gentleman who is doing something that I think is very compassionate.
00:43:31Marc:uh and and very uh community service oriented my guest today is michael garvey welcome sir thank you that's uh quite a lean in yeah i let me just uh like tell tell people my understanding now your organization is homebound buddies homebound buddies that's right and and you are basically you know providing it's not like meals on wheels it's not you know you're not delivering goods but you're
00:43:55Marc:What is the agenda?
00:43:57Marc:I mean, what do you do?
00:43:59Guest 2:I'd like to say it's a lifeline through the phone to the lost souls of L.A.
00:44:04Marc:Oh, so it's primarily L.A.
00:44:05Guest 2:right now.
00:44:06Guest 2:Yeah.
00:44:06Guest 2:I live in L.A.
00:44:07Guest 2:and I can call obviously anywhere, but a lot of the people that I end up calling are people who are in the Los Angeles area.
00:44:14Marc:So this is only a phone service, you know?
00:44:17Marc:It is a phone service, yeah.
00:44:18Marc:So now what is it exactly?
00:44:20Marc:I mean, you deal with people who are homebound?
00:44:23Guest 2:Yeah, I guess I'll give you a little backstory if that's okay.
00:44:27Guest 2:I was a bit of, I don't know, outcast, I guess, as a young boy.
00:44:32Guest 2:And I never fit in.
00:44:33Guest 2:And I went through a period where I was a shut-in by my own choice.
00:44:39Guest 2:The other kids didn't really like me.
00:44:41Guest 2:And for whatever reason, I was weird.
00:44:43Guest 2:I wasn't really weird, but they thought I was weird.
00:44:45Guest 2:And so I had to get myself out of that.
00:44:49Guest 2:And feel normal.
00:44:51Guest 2:And I read a U.S.
00:44:52Guest 2:census the other day.
00:44:52Guest 2:There's 1.3 million people in this country that could be categorized as shut in or homebound.
00:44:59Guest 2:Now, that's a lot of people who are feeling like I did as a teenager.
00:45:03Guest 2:And it really...
00:45:05Guest 2:It really hit me as like, well, am I going to live in my house in the valley and just take care of myself?
00:45:10Guest 2:Or am I going to reach out to the people who went through something that I know?
00:45:14Guest 2:Right.
00:45:14Marc:Well, now, homebound can mean a lot of things.
00:45:15Marc:It can mean people with disabilities.
00:45:17Marc:It can mean people with sicknesses.
00:45:19Marc:But from what I understand you saying is that yours was a mental issue primarily.
00:45:24Right.
00:45:24Guest 2:It was, yeah, it was a mental, it was a self-imposed, I mean, I definitely had, I could walk and I could go to school if I wanted to, but I isolated and I wouldn't leave the house for months at a time.
00:45:36Marc:Yeah.
00:45:36Guest 2:Because I would be ridiculed or teased and just simply reading.
00:45:39Guest 2:Like, there were other people throughout history and even on the internet, there's other people like me who felt like they were alone.
00:45:44Guest 2:And you know what?
00:45:45Guest 2:I wasn't alone.
00:45:46Guest 2:Right.
00:45:46Guest 2:And all things pass.
00:45:48Guest 2:Sure.
00:45:48Guest 2:And I think encouragement, you know, just through friends...
00:45:54Guest 2:authors and people on the internet what about your family your family my family my uh mother uh my mother helped me but she in some ways enabled me uh-huh to you know she encouraged me to stay home oh really yeah yeah i did not go to college until i was 25 oh and so i spent from like 18 to 25 at home really yeah it was a dark time and i would stay in my room for you know a long periods of time and uh somehow somehow hope found me right through through the
00:46:21Guest 2:roof of my mother's house.
00:46:22Guest 2:So why don't you tell me a little bit about how this works and who do you reach out to?
00:46:25Marc:How does that work?
00:46:25Guest 2:Sure.
00:46:26Guest 2:Well, like you said before, a lot of people who are homebound or shut-ins are the agent.
00:46:31Guest 2:There's a huge aging population in this country.
00:46:34Guest 2:Some people have panic disorders or agoraphobia and they're unable and there's no support system.
00:46:40Guest 2:So what I started doing is when I decided to create Homebound Buddies, my own non-for-profit, is I said, I'm just going to get...
00:46:48Guest 2:10 phone numbers.
00:46:50Guest 2:And I went down to the local church that's right on my corner.
00:46:53Guest 2:And I said, are there any people that you deliver meals on wheels or any people that you need to reach out to?
00:46:58Guest 2:And, uh, I called them and, uh, I think I talked to seven of them in one night.
00:47:02Guest 2:And, uh,
00:47:04Guest 2:And I didn't really have an approach.
00:47:06Guest 2:I've done it for six months now.
00:47:07Guest 2:And over the months, I've developed a questionnaire where I don't try to get people out of their house.
00:47:13Guest 2:I really just try to tell them they're okay and there's people like them.
00:47:16Guest 2:And then no expectation past that.
00:47:19Marc:All right, so why don't we do one?
00:47:20Guest 2:Why don't I be the person?
00:47:21Guest 2:Would that work?
00:47:22Guest 2:Sure.
00:47:22Guest 2:If we do that?
00:47:23Guest 2:Sure.
00:47:23Guest 2:And the idea is, Mark, and I know you have listeners, is I have a system now that if there's other people like me who want to reach out,
00:47:31Guest 2:we could get them the email of the questions, and I could give them phone numbers.
00:47:35Guest 2:Okay.
00:47:35Guest 2:This is truly an outreach.
00:47:36Guest 2:I know you have a lot of listeners.
00:47:37Marc:Well, I have depression in my family, so I certainly know the frustration of somebody that is paralyzed mentally to not get out of the house.
00:47:46Guest 2:Okay.
00:47:46Guest 2:All right, so let's say you've called me, and what happens?
00:47:50Guest 2:Well, generally, I'll call them, and I'll say, you know, my name is Mike Garvey.
00:47:55Guest 2:I'm Homebound Buddies.
00:47:56Guest 2:Mike who?
00:47:58Guest 2:Oh.
00:47:58Guest 2:I'm kidding.
00:47:59Guest 2:Yeah.
00:47:59Guest 2:Yeah, sometimes it is.
00:48:00Guest 2:They need a hearing aid, and I'll have to say, turn up your hearing aid.
00:48:03Guest 2:Right, right, right.
00:48:03Guest 2:And then I'll say, I'm not trying to get money, because there's so many people preying on the disenfranchised in this country.
00:48:08Guest 2:Sure, just hang up.
00:48:09Guest 2:They'll just hang up on you.
00:48:10Guest 2:Yes, so I have to earn their trust by saying, I'm not trying to get money.
00:48:14Guest 2:I'm trying to find out who you are.
00:48:17Guest 2:And then I say, what the mission statement of Homebound Buddies is, is to throw a lifeline to the lost souls of Los Angeles.
00:48:22Marc:Okay, so now I'm on the phone with you.
00:48:25Guest 2:Hi, Mike.
00:48:25Guest 2:Hi.
00:48:26Guest 2:Hi, Mark Maron.
00:48:27Guest 2:I know, Mark.
00:48:27Guest 2:I got your number from the YMCA.
00:48:29Guest 2:Oh, nice.
00:48:30Guest 2:Yeah.
00:48:30Guest 2:Are you with the YMCA?
00:48:32Guest 2:No, I'm not.
00:48:33Guest 2:I'm with an organization called Homebound Buddies.
00:48:35Guest 2:I don't have any money.
00:48:36Guest 2:You know what?
00:48:37Guest 2:I'm not looking for money.
00:48:39Guest 2:What I'm looking to do is just talk to you and ask you a few questions.
00:48:41Guest 2:About what?
00:48:42Guest 2:I'm just here alone.
00:48:44Guest 2:Well, pretty much anything you want to talk about.
00:48:46Guest 2:We'll take my questions and whatever you feel like talking about.
00:48:48Guest 2:I think I know what people who don't go outside want to talk about because I've talked to a lot of those people.
00:48:54Guest 2:You want to talk about television?
00:48:55Guest 2:Well, let me ask you first.
00:48:58Guest 2:How are you today?
00:48:59Marc:I'm okay.
00:49:00Marc:You know, my feet hurt and you know, I, I, I sit too long.
00:49:05Guest 2:Yeah.
00:49:05Guest 2:Yeah.
00:49:06Guest 2:That's right.
00:49:06Guest 2:That's right.
00:49:07Guest 2:You know what?
00:49:08Guest 2:I understand that.
00:49:08Guest 2:Did you, and then I, I'm not talking to you.
00:49:11Guest 2:I'm talking to the host of the show now.
00:49:13Guest 2:What I try to do is almost like an intervention, try to case out where their health is at.
00:49:17Guest 2:If there's an emergency, cause they have other, you know, it's not irresponsible.
00:49:20Guest 2:I have a suicide hotline, et cetera, et cetera, health, healthcare facilities on my desk at all times.
00:49:25Guest 2:Yeah.
00:49:25Guest 2:So now we're back in.
00:49:27Guest 2:Okay, I'm back in the character.
00:49:30Guest 2:Did you eat something today?
00:49:32Marc:I had a little breakfast.
00:49:33Marc:I had toast and half a bowl of cereal.
00:49:36Marc:Good.
00:49:36Marc:Yeah.
00:49:37Marc:I think it was healthy.
00:49:39Guest 2:Good, good, good.
00:49:40Guest 2:Did you have a bowel movement today?
00:49:43Guest 2:What?
00:49:44Guest 2:Did you have a bowel movement today?
00:49:46Marc:I went.
00:49:49Guest 2:I did.
00:49:49Guest 2:I did.
00:49:50Guest 2:I went.
00:49:50Marc:Did you have more than one?
00:49:52Marc:I don't think so.
00:49:54Marc:I would know that, but my memory's not so good.
00:49:56Marc:I definitely went once because I remember I had to get up from the table during breakfast.
00:50:01Guest 2:Okay.
00:50:01Guest 2:I'm going to ask you a few questions.
00:50:02Guest 2:I want you to describe your bowel movement.
00:50:05Guest 2:Was it watery with no solids?
00:50:08Marc:What?
00:50:10Guest 2:Was it watery with no solids?
00:50:12Guest 2:my shit yeah it was fine it was fun i don't do it very often you know like every two days if i'm lucky and usually they're good i mean that's one of the things would you describe it as uh being long with a smooth surface it took a little time okay so so it took a little time yeah so so it probably was not characterize it as a sausage with surface cracks what like a sausagey one with surface cracks
00:50:39Guest 2:Yeah, maybe that's good.
00:50:41Guest 2:Okay.
00:50:41Guest 2:Yeah, like a little sausage.
00:50:42Guest 2:Were the ends well-defined?
00:50:46Guest 2:Were the ends well-defined or were they blobby?
00:50:50Marc:The ends, I don't spend a lot of time looking at it.
00:50:54Marc:Maybe should I look at it and call you back?
00:50:57Guest 2:No, no, you can just try to remember it.
00:50:59Guest 2:Oh, yeah, it was good.
00:51:01Guest 2:The more you talk about it, the better.
00:51:02Marc:I pinched it off, and it had a nice tail on it.
00:51:08Marc:Okay, was it fluffy with ragged edges, the tail?
00:51:11Marc:This is getting me a little uncomfortable.
00:51:12Marc:I mean, I'm playing along here.
00:51:14Marc:Okay, so now we're on the sixth question about the shit.
00:51:19Guest 2:That's what people who are homebound have to talk about.
00:51:23Guest 2:And that is also very common.
00:51:25Guest 2:That's basically what unites us.
00:51:29Marc:All right, but I mean, right out of the gate, I mean, he asked two questions.
00:51:32Marc:There's no TV talk.
00:51:33Guest 2:Mark, these are people who don't go to movies.
00:51:35Guest 2:They don't know who Britney Spears is.
00:51:37Guest 2:These are people who have sheltered tragic lives.
00:51:39Guest 2:They don't know the hot restaurant.
00:51:40Guest 2:Everyone has TV.
00:51:42Guest 2:A lot of the shut-ins don't watch television.
00:51:44Guest 2:And what unifies us more than our bowel movements?
00:51:46Guest 2:Supermodels go to the bathroom.
00:51:47Guest 2:Tom Cruise goes to the bathroom.
00:51:49Guest 2:Okay, I understand that.
00:51:51Marc:Everybody shits, and you're saying that it's a humanizing thing.
00:51:55Marc:Yeah, it is.
00:51:56Guest 2:It's the bond.
00:51:56Guest 2:It's the bond between all of us.
00:51:58Marc:But does everybody talk that specifically about their shit?
00:52:00Marc:I can't imagine that you're calling it.
00:52:01Guest 2:Well, I happen to know a lot about bowel movements.
00:52:03Guest 2:You don't have to call them shit.
00:52:04Guest 2:I happen to know a lot about feces.
00:52:06Guest 2:So I can get a good gauge on their health, on their intestinal system.
00:52:11Guest 2:And quite frankly, I don't mind doing it.
00:52:14Guest 2:I don't mind talking about their bowel movements.
00:52:16Guest 2:Well, that's clear.
00:52:16Marc:We just went through like seven questions.
00:52:18Marc:Do you have more questions that aren't necessarily that specific?
00:52:22Marc:Like where do we go from there?
00:52:23Marc:Just the end is, can I call another time?
00:52:25Guest 2:What time?
00:52:27Marc:What do you mean, can you call another time?
00:52:28Marc:That's it?
00:52:29Marc:You asked all the questions?
00:52:30Marc:That was all the questions?
00:52:32Marc:Mm-hmm.
00:52:32Marc:You asked two questions about how I'm doing, and you asked seven questions about my shit.
00:52:37Guest 2:Yes.
00:52:37Guest 2:Or bowel movement.
00:52:38Guest 2:Your bowel movement.
00:52:38Guest 2:Yes, I did.
00:52:39Guest 2:Because...
00:52:41Guest 2:I'm not sure what you're getting at, Mark.
00:52:43Guest 2:What am I getting at?
00:52:45Guest 2:I have an outreach service, okay?
00:52:47Guest 2:And I happen to relate to them because, yes, I had a bit of a fetish with feces when I was 20 to 25.
00:52:54Guest 2:And I understand what it's like to be an outcast.
00:52:57Guest 2:So I've taken my own illness and I've channeled it into something that serves a community.
00:53:01Guest 2:And I don't think I'm an oddball or a weirdo or I'm obsessed with it.
00:53:05Guest 2:I'm having a human adult conversation with people, quite frankly, don't mind talking about their shits.
00:53:11Marc:Okay, okay.
00:53:11Guest 2:They don't mind talking.
00:53:12Marc:All right, just take it easy.
00:53:14Guest 2:All right, just take it easy.
00:53:14Guest 2:Well, you attacked me.
00:53:16Guest 2:I know I did.
00:53:17Guest 2:I went through this in high school, and I had poop on my hands.
00:53:20Guest 2:Yes.
00:53:21Guest 2:What do you mean?
00:53:21Guest 2:We've all had poop on our hands when we were children.
00:53:23Guest 2:And what's the difference if you're 18 if you're five?
00:53:27Marc:What are you doing with poop on your hands?
00:53:28Guest 2:I had poop on my hands because I touched my own poop.
00:53:31Guest 2:Okay.
00:53:32Guest 2:Okay.
00:53:32Guest 2:Okay?
00:53:33Guest 2:Yeah.
00:53:33Guest 2:And right now what I do, I am so tired of this country making fun and making light of what... It is completely normal to have a curiosity about your own feces, to be grounded and to touch what came out.
00:53:46Guest 2:Okay.
00:53:47Guest 2:I enjoy it.
00:53:47Guest 2:I understand.
00:53:48Guest 1:I enjoy it, Mark.
00:53:49Guest 1:Okay.
00:53:49Guest 1:And you know what?
00:53:49Guest 2:The people I talk to on the phone do not mind it.
00:53:52Guest 2:Okay.
00:53:52Guest 2:And I do a service to them.
00:53:53Guest 2:Okay.
00:53:54Marc:All right, Michael, I understand, and I appreciate you being here.
00:53:58Guest 2:Do you really?
00:53:59Marc:I do, and I wish you the best of luck with your endeavor.
00:54:03Marc:Homeboundbuddies.com is a great way to get a hold of us.
00:54:06Marc:Okay.
00:54:12Marc:Okay, that's our show.
00:54:14Marc:You know, I really got to get someone booking this thing because I just can't seem to pick them.
00:54:19Marc:What can I tell you?
00:54:20Marc:I hope you had a good time.
00:54:22Marc:Thank you for listening.
00:54:23Marc:I hope you have a great week or a great day or whenever you're listening to this, a great weekend, a great hike, a great visit to the doctor, whatever the fuck you're doing.
00:54:32Marc:I'm speaking directly to you.
00:54:33Marc:I hope it's as good as it can possibly be.
00:54:36Marc:Remember, anything comedy-related that you're interested in, or if you want any news, breaking news, or anything about the comedy biz, go to punchlinemagazine.com.
00:54:45Marc:And as always, wtfpod.com for your Nerdcock t-shirts, your WTF t-shirts.
00:54:51Marc:And please, be generous.
00:54:53Marc:It looks like I'm going to be doing this for a living for a long time.
00:54:56Marc:But I certainly appreciate your support, and you will if you subscribe.
00:55:00Marc:I swear you'll get it.
00:55:02Marc:You'll get your t-shirt, you'll get your stickers, you'll get your postcard.
00:55:05Marc:and you'll get maybe something else I'll throw in there.
00:55:08Marc:Maybe I'll throw in a cookie.
00:55:10Marc:And that's about it.
00:55:11Marc:I will talk to you next time.
00:55:13Marc:Have a good one.

Episode 43 - Antonia Crane / Michael Garvey

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