Episode 417 - Tom Segura / YACHT
Marc:okay let's do this how are you what the fuckers i am mark maron this is wtf it's my show welcome
Marc:I'm not even going to get meta or make note of the fact that I trimmed down the intro this time.
Marc:I was just trying it on for size.
Marc:Is that okay?
Marc:That's what I did.
Marc:I hope you're well.
Marc:I do want to tell you that if you're in Denver, Colorado, tomorrow night, Friday, August 23rd, and Saturday, August 24th, I will be at the Comedy Works in Denver, Colorado.
Marc:If you want to make the trip or come on down or buy some tickets and not go just because that doesn't even make sense.
Marc:But that's where I'll be.
Marc:So come down.
Marc:I love that club.
Marc:It's a hot room.
Marc:It's a hot room, man.
Marc:It's so hot in terms of the crowd response and just the structure of the room that as a comic, I question whether or not things deserve that much laughter.
Marc:Now, of course, after saying that, I'll go there and have the roughest weekend of my life just because that's the way my brain works.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:You hear those mills?
Marc:Those are the mills of negativity whirring away in the back of your mind.
Marc:Why, Mark?
Marc:Everything's going well for you because that's the way my brain is wired.
Marc:And in order to make that go away, I got to shut down that mill.
Marc:I got to put people out of work.
Marc:Well, not people exactly, but the guys in my head that are milling and maybe mining negativity as well.
Marc:That's probably a better metaphor.
Marc:I got to close down that mine and put those little evil fuckers out of work that are mining negativity in order to produce gems of failure.
Marc:Or not even gems of failure at this point, but gems that when you look at them clearly in all their facets, all they can do is illuminate your self-doubt and insecurity.
Marc:Holy shit, it's metaphor day on WTF.
Marc:Why not play some guitar?
Marc:Well, that's a good question, Mark, because you're not necessarily a guitar player.
Marc:But I have to admit, friends, I have to admit because that has something to do with this show that you're about to hear.
Marc:Oh, by the way, Tom Segura...
Marc:Tom Segura is on the show today.
Marc:I love Tom.
Marc:I love his wife, Christina Pazitsky.
Marc:She was on the WTF.
Marc:It was episode 387.
Marc:And it was a great interview.
Marc:It was a live one.
Marc:And it's also a good excuse if you want to connect these two to go out and get that app.
Marc:You don't even have to go anywhere.
Marc:Go out to your phone and pick up the WTF app for free.
Marc:If you could take the long walk,
Marc:to your phone and turn that fucker on.
Marc:I should probably turn mine off.
Marc:You can upgrade to the premium app and stream every episode of WTF if you want to hear Tom's wife, Christina.
Marc:She's awesome.
Marc:But I've been sitting here thinking about guitar playing because also on the show, the band Yacht, I guess you could call them a band.
Marc:There's two of them and it's primarily computer generated, but it is a band and I do like them.
Marc:They're on the DFA label and they came in a box of stuff that was sent to me by DFA.
Marc:and I always liked him.
Marc:Out of a lot of the DFA artists, I really resonated with Yacht, and they got a little edge to him, and it is dance music.
Marc:I don't know what you would call it.
Marc:I don't know how you would classify it, but it's got a good beat.
Marc:It's got a beat you can move to, but I dug them, but I knew they were in town.
Marc:I knew they were somehow attached to comedy in terms of performing at a space where there was some comedy, but I just kind of liked him, and then out of nowhere,
Marc:They asked me if I wanted to play guitar on one of their songs.
Marc:They did a sort of groovy dance beat protest song against the NSA.
Marc:And I said, hell yeah, I do.
Marc:I want to be a professional musician.
Marc:And you got to understand, that doesn't make me a professional musician.
Marc:Obviously, I'm aware of that.
Marc:But it does make me a musician who played on a song that was on the radio, which is not nothing.
Marc:And quite honestly, I only play for me.
Marc:I play guitar for me.
Marc:And I got to put...
Marc:Put my heart out there to all of you that that do something that you love for yourself.
Marc:Obviously, we should do everything that we love for ourself.
Marc:But but, you know, guitar playing and I've shared it with you.
Marc:It's sort of my secret, my secret hobby.
Marc:Because I don't do it professionally, but I love to do it.
Marc:And I do believe that I've made progress at it.
Marc:And this is where the blues come in.
Marc:And this is where the minors of negativity come in.
Marc:And this is where the anxiety generators come in.
Marc:Is that I don't listen to the blues a lot, but it's all that I play, really.
Marc:Most of my stuff, and I've talked about it before, is blues-based.
Marc:Because I started to...
Marc:I feel like I've gotten better as a guitar player lately and not because I play with other people just because I dig deeper into what I already know and the blues and I guess comedy to some degree is one of the few things that you can do that with is that like I've got a little bit of craft in place.
Marc:I know a few notes.
Marc:I know the five that are necessary and
Marc:And many of the greatest blues artists only worked with those five.
Marc:So there's got to be a way to wrench out whatever the hell it is that I need in my own way out of those five fucking notes.
Marc:You know, whether it's mourning or dealing with or celebrating the part of your soul, the part of your heart, the part of yourself that gets crushed or lost when you are emotionally attached to anything.
Marc:So when Yacht
Marc:asked me to uh to play with them i was like you sure you want me and i didn't know why they wanted me but here's the deal i've got the song on here and i've actually got i've actually got yacht in here to to to talk about the song to talk about their their approach to music a little bit and then also to uh to answer the question
Marc:Why the fuck did you ask me to do this guitar solo?
Marc:I only do one thing good on the guitar, one area, one sort of sound.
Marc:And it turns out that's exactly what they needed.
Marc:So it was fortuitous or, you know, it was a good booking.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I'm just excited to be on a record.
Marc:I'm excited to talk to Yacht.
Marc:We'll do that in just a second.
Marc:I don't want to get your names wrong.
Marc:Claire Evans.
Marc:Yep.
Marc:Jonah.
Guest:Oh.
Guest:Two strikes, buddy.
Guest:Two strikes.
Guest:What?
Guest:It's Jonah like Jonathan and Bechtold.
Guest:It's fucked up.
Guest:I'm sorry.
Guest:But you made it complicated.
Guest:I know.
Marc:I'm sorry.
Guest:I say this to him so much.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Change your name?
Guest:Well, okay, his name is Jonathan.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Jonna.
Guest:But he's insisted since he was a child on Jonna, and no one has ever gotten it right.
Guest:It was totally a baby decision.
Guest:I didn't insist on it.
Guest:When I was a baby, I couldn't say Jonathan, and it just stuck.
Guest:My parents left it.
Guest:And that's who you were?
Guest:Yeah, that's who I am now.
Marc:You were Jonna?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:The reason I know you at all is because Jonathan Galkin, out there at DFA...
Marc:Because I didn't know anything.
Guest:Great man.
Marc:He is a great man.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But he was a fan of mine.
Marc:I didn't know anything about Murphy.
Marc:I didn't know anything about LCD sound system.
Marc:I'm like, look, I seem to have missed this entire chunk of music history.
Marc:I don't know your label.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And he sent me a box and you guys were in it.
Marc:So I put on your records and at some point, like I invested a lot of mystique in you guys and I'm like, these guys are interesting.
Marc:They seem to have a system in place.
Marc:There's a bigger picture here.
Marc:This had nothing to do with the music.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And now we blew it.
Guest:Coming here, we blew it.
Marc:No, you blew it when I come over to your house.
All right.
Marc:I'm like, oh, they're just people.
Marc:They're not these mythological beings that have a system.
Marc:So how'd you guys start out, though?
Marc:Where'd you meet and where'd you come from?
Marc:Claire, you first.
Guest:Okay, Claire, you go first.
Guest:Okay, how far back do you want to go?
Marc:All the way.
Guest:Born, 1984, dystopia.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:No, I was born in the United Kingdom.
Guest:I emigrated to the United States when I was eight.
Guest:I lived in Portland, Oregon my whole life.
Guest:I went to school in Los Angeles and I played in a lot of punk bands and sort of art rock bands.
Guest:I met Jonna in 2004 when my incredibly weird and difficult noise rock band was playing with an early incarnation of Yacht.
Guest:It was like at first sight.
Guest:Aww.
Guest:Aww.
Guest:Oh, so big of me.
Guest:And then, yeah, and then years later, we started collaborating.
Guest:We became sort of friends and collaborators over the years, and then I joined Yacht officially in 2009.
Guest:I was born in 1980 in Madison, Wisconsin.
Guest:My parents moved around a bunch until we settled in Astoria, Oregon, their hometown.
Guest:So I grew up mostly in Astoria, and I started a punk band with my older brother.
Guest:It was his idea.
Guest:When I was 12 or 13.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I completed middle school, and that was it.
Marc:Yeah, done.
Guest:Then I decided from then on I didn't want to be a part of any kind of formal education system.
Marc:Time to join the circus.
Guest:Yep.
Guest:So my brother and I moved in together into a shitty house in southeast Portland and started this punk band, and we had aspirations of being on MTV.
Guest:It was pop punk.
Guest:What did you play?
Guest:I played drums.
Guest:And he played?
Guest:Guitar and sang.
Guest:We were just a two-piece.
Marc:Nice.
Guest:So it was a lot of novelty.
Marc:A little ahead of the curve on that, I think.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, and so we were like, yeah, super into like mid-early 90s pop punk.
Guest:Really wanted to make it.
Marc:And... Well, like they might be giants?
Guest:No.
Guest:Well, I mean, sure, like early They Might Be Giants was probably some kind of inspiration, but like more like no effects, like fat records.
Marc:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Bay Area, like lookout records.
Marc:Right, but just two instruments.
Marc:I was sort of a bold undertaking.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:It was weird.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And our whole thing was that we had like great stage banter, the two of us, like little brother, older brother stuff.
Guest:I had braces.
Guest:I was tiny.
Guest:I had bleach blonde hair.
Guest:So you had a comedy act.
Guest:It was pretty much a comedy act.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:I think in retrospect, we can say that.
Marc:Well, it sounded like it was kind of cute and, you know, it was fun.
Marc:And how did you evolve into whatever you became?
Guest:Well, through that band, we had convinced a family friend to invest in our band.
Guest:And so we bought a computer and that's when I fell in love with computers.
Guest:So we started like self-producing and recording just in our house.
Guest:And, yeah, that just evolved into me wanting to make something completely by myself on a computer and to use the computer sort of as like a punk tool.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like the way that, yeah, I guess four-track cassettes helped people make like lo-fi recordings and sort of birth that whole scene.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I wanted to do the same sort of thing with computers.
Guest:And other people were doing that too, but I wanted it just to be a completely self-contained thing where I made like all the album artwork, the website, the recording, like everything just with a single object.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:and the performance was all about the object too so yeah then i just started playing shows by myself with a computer and it was totally terrifying because i'd always had someone else on stage with me yeah and i played in a handful of other bands yeah after playing with my brother but yeah but you would just end up up there by yourself yeah you know pumping it through a speaker yeah and i had to figure out because like a lot of people started doing laptop music like in the early 2000s and every performance that i went to every show i went to i was like totally bored
Guest:I was like, there has to be a better thing than watching a guy seemingly checking his email the whole time.
Guest:So I wanted to make something that was interesting to watch and also fun to do.
Guest:And I don't know if I ever succeeded, but I tried a bunch of different things.
Guest:Like what?
Guest:I would kick the laptop a lot.
Guest:I got really physical with it.
Guest:I broke a bunch of laptops.
Guest:He had amazing video and audio.
Guest:He would do these conceptual bits.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:A lot of the time.
Guest:I guess comedy has always been a part of it, weirdly.
Guest:I remember back in the day there was one show where God would break the computer and call you from the PA from within the show.
Guest:You'd have to have this conversation with God and then start all over again.
Guest:I grew up Catholic.
Guest:There was a lot of self-punishing CD weirdness.
Marc:Sure, that's a Catholic, self-punishing.
Marc:So you had to bring God into it?
Marc:I guess I did.
Marc:And he was judging you?
Marc:Yeah, he hated it.
Guest:Yeah, it was so weird and interesting that I remember the first time I ever met Jonna when my band played with him in 2004.
Guest:We had a band meeting the next week where we all discussed how we could be more like Yacht.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Did you know that?
Guest:Yeah, I knew that.
Guest:I knew that much later, but yeah.
Guest:And I totally forgot that until after I had been in the band for many years.
Guest:And I was like, wait, I'm pretty sure that happened.
Guest:How many records do you have out?
Guest:Five full playing, long playing records.
Guest:And how's the following?
Guest:How's the ticket sales?
Guest:Great.
Guest:Yeah, we play all over the world.
Guest:Yeah, that's the trippiest part of being in this band is that before being in a band, I'd never left the country.
Guest:I'd never really left Oregon.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so this band has been a vehicle for worldwide travel.
Guest:Yeah, we have a band-wide policy that we say yes to almost any show that we get offered, which means that we will play in some genuinely weird places.
Marc:Like where?
Guest:Like we just finished a tour of Asia.
Guest:We played in Thailand and Bali.
Guest:We've played.
Marc:But like the venues are weird or just the countries?
Guest:Yeah, venues are weird.
Guest:We've played on boats.
Guest:We've played.
Guest:Jonna played in someone's bathroom one time.
Guest:That's true.
Guest:Why?
Guest:What do you have to do that for?
Guest:This was in 2005.
Guest:I'd never been to St.
Guest:Louis, wanted to go.
Guest:Some kids on MySpace were like, please come play this show.
Guest:And it was in their grandmother's rec room basement.
Guest:They were like, why don't you do this show in the bathroom?
Guest:And I was like, okay.
Marc:You didn't feel like they were sort of taking you for a ride a little bit?
Guest:No, no.
Guest:They were like kids.
Guest:They were so genuine and just wanted a weird experience.
Guest:How many were there?
Guest:I don't know, like 20, 25 years.
Guest:The following has increased since then.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:We've played literally every kind of show imaginable.
Guest:But if you give us a much bigger bathroom, I'm sure we can make it work.
Guest:We've played festivals with thousands and thousands of people.
Guest:We toured with LCD twice in Europe and in the U.S.
Marc:This type of music specifically, I mean, I guess all music is sort of global, but there's something about music that is danceable that seems to travel a little better than almost any other kind of music.
Guest:yeah it's the piece of the castle i think like the the success of some of those early records was completely and purely just human driven person to person and everyone seems to have a story about how they found that music now i think it's a lot different i think things move much more quickly and there's kind of a i don't know people are more blasé about things that come out i think that it was genuinely transformative at a time before that kind of thing would be immediately turned into a product and then forgotten about
Marc:Well, yeah, everything becomes very disposable with the hunger for content created by the internet.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Music has no value anymore.
Marc:Well, yeah, you put a song out and the next day people are like, what's next?
Marc:Yep.
Marc:You got a new one today?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Where's our daily song?
Marc:Literally, that's how it works.
Marc:I know, it's horrendous.
Marc:It's legitimately insane.
Marc:I mean, I talk about that a lot.
Marc:There's no way as human beings you can creatively feed the appetite that the internet creates in people.
Guest:Yeah, it's like an endless well that you put stuff in that never goes anywhere.
Marc:With no context at all.
Marc:All right, so let's talk about the song we did.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I should preface it by saying I was asked to play guitar on the latest Yacht single.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And that was the first request I've ever had to professionally play guitar.
Marc:Thank you for that.
Marc:I don't know what made you think of me.
Guest:Wait, wait, wait.
Guest:What about that postal service video?
Marc:That was a joke, though.
Marc:Yeah, but it was a professional request.
Marc:Oh, is that where you found me as a guitar player?
Guest:That's the first time I heard you, yeah.
Marc:And you're like, this guy can do something?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That's hilarious.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:See, there you go.
Guest:Everything you do is worth something, you know?
Marc:Well, because, yeah, no, but that was, yeah, they were auditioning guitar players and I just riffed it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So it was the thing I did before the computer music that made you think that guy can play on that record.
Guest:I was surprised.
Guest:I was like, whoa, he can actually play guitar.
Marc:Here I thought like he had some big plans.
Marc:Like if we get him on, then he'll move the single.
Marc:Oh, man.
Guest:You can shred.
Guest:We saw you shred.
Marc:Oh, that's so sweet of you.
Marc:I'm like, that's why I'm thrilled about it.
Marc:Because now I feel like you've given me this opportunity to fulfill a dream.
Marc:I played guitar on a record.
Guest:Well, I'm sure more people will ask you now.
Guest:You played guitar on an MP3.
Marc:That's all right.
Marc:It's an MP3 that people respect as a produced piece of music.
Marc:On a file.
Marc:I'm just joking.
Marc:They played it on the radio.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They played it on KCW.
Guest:They play it on Sirius now already, I think.
Guest:really yeah yeah that's satellite radio it's it's gone to space and come back to earth that is crazy your guitar has gone to space yeah what's well so what are people saying about the song they like it people like it did it get out there in a big way i think so yeah it's always so hard to tell howling ma empty well with no context as you said before but i think that it's doing really well isn't the file being shared from one place or do you have no way i can tell you that the file has been played many times we can
Guest:look right now you don't have to i'm just curious as if people are digging it went out there people are digging it the file is blowing up the streaming file is blowing up we're getting a lot of downloads we're we're selling it for charity and we're raising some of the money for charity which is great now are people actually 100 of the money not just some of the money right but you've also people can just have it though so how is they can't just have it they can listen to it they can stream it for free but they can't just have it if they want it they got to trade a donation so are you making some money yeah for the eff yep
Marc:What made you write this song?
Marc:What is it called again?
Marc:Party at the NSA?
Guest:Party at the NSA.
Marc:And what drove you to it?
Marc:Was there a moment where you're like, fuck those guys?
Guest:Yeah, absolutely.
Guest:The classic punk impulse.
Guest:We wanted to fight the man.
Guest:We felt galvanized by...
Guest:just kind of like the critical mass of information coming out now about how every day there's another new fucked up thing that they're doing and it's a new level of fucked up every day yeah it's always worse than it seems and I don't know John and I are both like on the internet a lot I'm a science and technology journalist in addition to playing in this band so I hang in circles where people are constantly talking about this stuff so I feel like it's for me it feels like everyone around me is talking about this and everyone is concerned with it which is probably true for everyone not just me yeah
Guest:Uh, and, and we're like completely self starting internet people.
Guest:Like our entire careers are essentially predicated on the fact that we have access to this free and open medium of communication with our fans.
Guest:And it's not as though NSA surveillance is creating a direct boundary to that, but it just kind of like makes it gross.
Guest:It's kind of a buzzkill.
Guest:It's a buzzkill.
Guest:There's somebody lurking.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:What I've been saying is that nobody wants to dance when there's cops in the club.
Guest:So that's kind of the attitude.
Guest:We were like, this is reaching a point at which as people who have historically affiliated ourselves with digital rights and internet freedoms, we can't not do something about this because this is something that really affects us and that we think about a lot.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, we're musicians, so the natural gesture is to make a song.
Guest:And we both came up in punk scenes and DIY scenes, so that's kind of our form of protest.
Marc:And what would you call the style of this song?
Marc:Because it has sort of a retro feel.
Marc:Am I wrong?
Guest:No, you're not wrong.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:People always ask us what genre things are that we make.
Guest:And we let them do that.
Guest:We let them decide.
Guest:Well, there definitely seems to be... What do you want to call it?
Marc:Well, no, no.
Marc:I mean, it just... There's a familiarity to the feeling of the type of dance music it is, and it's not like... It doesn't feel like techno to me, but it actually feels like kind of punk disco music.
Marc:Yeah, I would say that.
Marc:Or new wave disco.
Guest:Would you go... I think the category that we chose on SoundCloud because we had to choose a category was new wave.
Guest:I think I put in new wave.
Marc:New wave is right.
Marc:I mean, I think that sounds right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I think New Wave is pretty broad and allows you a lot of freedoms.
Marc:Well, yeah, it's also, but like at this point, that stuff is, it's not so much that it's coming back, but as an influence for younger artists, it's like, it's okay to go there.
Marc:I mean, there was a point where I think somewhere I remember in my life where it was like, New Wave, fuck New Wave.
Marc:But now like, it's like, well, but it was kind of cool.
Marc:I mean, these people use keyboards and things.
Guest:It's so funny looking back on some of that stuff because people said that about disco too.
Guest:And I think disco is one of the most subversive and interesting forms of music.
Marc:Do you really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, totally.
Guest:It was like a radical place where a lot of people of color and homosexuals could be together and create like a subversive underground culture.
Guest:And all the rock and rollers were like, thank disco at the time.
Guest:But it was an amazing thing.
Guest:Really powerful.
Marc:I remember when it happened.
Marc:I remember when disco happened.
Marc:like i caught because i'm like 49 so it was just ending by the time i got to high school in what 77 so it was just sort of like petering out and that's when new wave came in and punk started to sort of infiltrate the high school campus but it was weird because but yeah by the time i got there it was like but i remember am radio in junior high was all that shit wow it must have seemed dumb i mean it definitely looks dumb
Marc:It didn't seem that dumb.
Marc:There was something.
Marc:It was definitely not happening where I was.
Marc:And then there was a suburban version of disco where you'd know your parents or their friends would be out taking disco classes.
Marc:Sure.
Guest:Just like there's a suburban version of everything.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:A punk of everything, yeah.
Marc:But now, like, I'll listen, like, I have guilty pleasures.
Marc:Like, I'll listen to Don't Leave Me This Way or I Will Survive.
Guest:But there's a lot of crossover between, like, early, like, funk and early disco.
Guest:I mean, like, chic and that kind of music.
Guest:There's a lot going on.
Guest:It's a lot more intellectual than I think people really ever gave it credit for.
Guest:Although, of course, there was so much dumb disco.
Guest:And now, of course, since I'm much younger than you, I look at disco videos on YouTube and I'm like, this looks, I mean, I can tell that it was probably really stupid, too.
Guest:Like, what do you mean?
Guest:Like, you look at, like, kitsch YouTube videos of crazy top of the pops from, like, 1971.
Guest:But some of it looks so amazing.
Guest:And some of it looks so amazing, too.
Guest:It's difficult without context.
Marc:I think it was hard to overcome certain outfits and certain mustaches.
Marc:Like, I mean, a lot of that stuff's coming back around.
Marc:Everything comes back around.
Marc:Right, but it has a meaning now.
Marc:Like, you know, he's doing that 70s porn thing.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:Nothing is without reference now.
Marc:So you just chose the EFF to give money to randomly?
Marc:Because I love those guys.
Guest:Not randomly.
Guest:I mean, we wanted to do something constructive that was going to be a practical form of protest against NSA surveillance.
Guest:And the EFF litigates in court against the government.
Guest:Yeah, they have like three cases right now.
Guest:Active cases that are specifically concerning corporate involvement in government NSA spying.
Guest:So it seemed pragmatic.
Guest:Yeah, Julie Samuels over there.
Marc:She's a warrior.
Marc:They're good.
Marc:they're good they fight hard they've been around for a long time they're legit all right so let's um okay we're gonna listen to the song and i just want to preface this by saying um get ready to dance no matter where you are and uh play it loud yeah play it loud in your car and after the second verse uh that's where my searing guitar work comes in you'll know it when you hear it yeah you definitely will
Guest:I lost my signal yesterday But it was now
Guest:This will blow.
Guest:Party at the NSA.
Guest:2020, 24 hours a day.
Guest:Party at the NSA.
Guest:2020, 24 hours a day.
Guest:R-I-S-P Be careful where you look
Guest:We're going to make a story, but it won't know where they're.
Guest:The world will save you when you look at the electronic eyes.
Guest:There's a place in the behind state where the network goes inside, where the network goes inside, where the network goes inside, where the network goes inside.
Guest:Party at the NSA.
Guest:Party at the NSA.
Guest:Party at the NSA.
Guest:Party at the NSA 2020 24 hours a day Party at the NSA 2020 24 hours a day Party at the NSA 2020 24 hours a day Party at the NSA 2020 24 hours a day Party at the NSA 2020 24 hours a day
Marc:so I don't like I know like that song is great and I have to say that my guitar work sounds good and I've listened to it over and over again and if I could and I could but I'm not going to I would probably just play that part over and over again does that make me a bad person no of course not at all I'll send you a loop of that if you want to you know if you just want the solo guitar track
Guest:If you just wanted to pump up music in the morning or something.
Guest:If you want a ringtone of that guitar solo, we can make that happen.
Guest:Oh my God, we should make a ringtone.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Well, again, I appreciate you having me on board for this.
Marc:I like your music.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:I think you did a good thing for a good cause.
Marc:And where can people get involved with the yacht religion?
Guest:Well, you can go to teamyacht.com if you want to get involved directly with the yacht religion.
Guest:If you want to hear Party at the NSA again and again, you can go to partyatthensa.com and download the song in exchange for a charitable download.
Marc:And helping the cause.
Marc:People who listen to my show have given to that cause before and we're on board with it because they're fighting patent trolls as well.
Guest:Word.
Marc:Word.
Marc:Thank you, Claire.
Guest:There's no reason not to give money to the EFF.
Marc:There you go.
Marc:Jonna, right?
Marc:Yeah, you did it.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:Thanks for coming down, you guys.
Yeah, thanks.
Marc:I'm very excited to share my conversation with Tom Segura right now.
Marc:He's a very sweet guy, a very funny guy, married to a very funny woman.
Marc:How does one handle that?
Marc:All right, let's talk to Tom Segura.
Marc:Tom Segura.
Marc:So... That was the intro.
Marc:That was all of it.
Marc:That was the whole thing?
Guest:Man, that was in-depth.
Marc:I'd like to build excitement.
Marc:All right, let's build some excitement.
Marc:How would you... Your podcast is your... Was it your mama's house?
Guest:Something like that.
Guest:Your mom's house.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:But I like mama more.
Guest:More fun.
Guest:Your mama's house feels like you're insulting me and not just fun in a fun way.
Guest:Like, hey, what's your fucking stupid thing called, by the way?
Guest:Your mama's house asshole?
Guest:I know, but it's funny.
Guest:No, I mean, it's good.
Guest:We're doing the podcast.
Guest:I know.
Guest:It's fun, man.
Guest:It's fun.
Guest:It is called your mom's house.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's very silly.
Guest:So it's appropriate that we mock it.
Guest:No, I mean, what are you going to name these things?
Guest:I mean, I-
Guest:We named it that because literally we named it something stupid on purpose.
Guest:It was so that somebody would be like, what the fuck is it called?
Guest:That's why we named it that.
Guest:Not because it's a serious current events, news-breaking shit.
Guest:Right, right, right.
Guest:We're talking about flossing and taking dumps.
Marc:We're not talking about- And you do it with Christina.
Marc:I always fuck up her last name.
Guest:Pashitsky, yes.
Guest:Pashitsky.
Guest:It was my wife.
Marc:It was your wife, yeah.
Marc:Who I love, and I had her on the live podcast.
Marc:And you do it at your home.
Marc:Yeah, we do, yeah.
Marc:And you said you drove all the way from Redondo today?
Marc:That's right, yeah.
Marc:And how long did that take?
Marc:It didn't take that long.
Guest:It took right about 50.
Guest:So you come up to 405, go all the way down to 10?
Guest:I took the 110.
Guest:I got the speed pass, the new speed pass.
Guest:You did?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That kind of changes your life.
Marc:Now, I'd never see where they monitor those things.
Marc:Usually with speed passes, there's something you drive through.
Guest:It's all like frequencies.
Guest:It's like eye in the sky shit.
Guest:And then every few miles in your car, you hear like beep.
Guest:Really?
Guest:You're like, oh shit, this is being monitored.
Guest:And I saw an article came out last week that said, because it's only been up for a little while.
Guest:Right.
Guest:They're like, we've already...
Guest:sent out like, I don't know, $25,000 in tickets because they're just automatically sending tickets out with the system.
Guest:To people that don't have a speed pass.
Guest:If you don't have a speed pass and you're in that lane, apparently it just, if the beep doesn't go off and you don't have it, it just reads your plate and you get a ticket at the door.
Marc:That's one of those things where it's like you as a speed pass owner, it's a ship, but on some level...
Marc:That's some scary bullshit.
Marc:It's totally scary.
Guest:I can't see anything.
Guest:But I'm all about giving in to the man, dude.
Guest:Absolutely.
Guest:Big brother is there to help us.
Guest:Wake up, America.
Guest:Come on, guys.
Guest:Come on.
Guest:Dude, it is crazy when you hit the standstill traffic.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you're driving alone.
Guest:It used to be you're like, I wish there was someone else in the fucking car.
Guest:So you could get in the carpool lane.
Guest:And now you can be alone and just fly through.
Guest:Fucking nail those lanes.
Marc:Those aren't carpool lanes anymore.
Marc:No.
Marc:Now, apparently gas is not an issue.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Fuck you and your friends or whoever you're driving to work.
Marc:Absolutely.
Marc:Pay up.
Marc:How much does something like that cost?
Guest:I think the first thing we loaded it up with was 40 bucks, and then it goes down.
Guest:They charge you per mile, depending on if you're-
Guest:Single occupant, double or triple.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And then it's like a per mile, I don't know, 60, 80.
Guest:But it's not big.
Guest:Not a lot.
Guest:It's the kind that if you were sitting in traffic and someone was like, hey, if you gave me 10 bucks to get out of this, would you get out?
Guest:I'd be like, fuck yeah, man, I will.
Guest:Now.
Guest:Something like that, yeah.
Guest:A hover car.
Guest:And then it reboots when it goes down, yeah.
Marc:Well, I think if you live out there on the west side, that's a good way to go.
Marc:100%, man.
Marc:Yeah, you got to come in.
Marc:You got to travel out to the Rogan bunker, wherever that is.
Yeah.
Marc:Where's the Rogan compound?
Guest:The compound, man.
Marc:Where is that thing?
Guest:That's Area 51.
Guest:We can't even talk about that.
Guest:Are you kidding me?
Marc:It's a whole government conspiracy.
Marc:He's got the aliens in the jars?
Marc:Absolutely.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:Joe Rogan would be so excited if someone gave him an alien in a jar.
Marc:Joe would absolutely lose his goddamn mind.
Marc:He would love that shit.
Marc:Oh, God.
Marc:That would be the best thing that could happen if aliens landed at Joe Rogan's place and just straightened him out.
Marc:What the hell would he do?
Marc:He would do a podcast for sure.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Marc:He would be so excited to meet some aliens.
Marc:He might have already.
Marc:That's the weird thing.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I wonder if they fought.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:What do you got?
Marc:Who would win?
Marc:He's got an alien and a chokehold.
Marc:So, like, Redondo Beach Show, that's a, did you get, are you looking at water?
Guest:I am not looking at water, but I'm about 10 minute, 8 minute walk from the water.
Guest:And why'd you decide, I don't know why we're talking about this, because, like, I'm kind of looking for a house, but I mean.
Marc:I'll tell you why, I'll tell you why.
Guest:I've lived in LA, this is 11 years I've been out here.
Marc:You've been here 11 years?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I didn't, you know, it's weird, I didn't really know you.
Guest:Yeah, I've been really, I know I've been really making a name for you.
Marc:for myself no no i mean like you know there was that moment at the comedy store where i started hearing your name like tom's a girl he's really funny and then the first time i saw you like i didn't know what to do with you exactly like you know i was trying to you know like you know i saw you like you know that's that's him and then like you know because he had some reputation and i was trying to package you somehow it's like what kind of dude is he is he like a fucking kick your ass dude or right is he a sweet dude or is he like you know what what kind of comic is he what what camp is he in i was trying to fucking get a make on well which is it what am i
Marc:You're a nice guy.
Marc:You're a thoughtful comic who has a respect for jokes.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Thanks, man.
Marc:And you got balls.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:You seem to be sort of like in the kind of that nice hybrid between a guy who can be autobiographical and a tell-ish.
Marc:Is that a compliment?
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Yeah, of course.
Guest:That's true.
Guest:Is that a bad thing?
Guest:No, I'll take that.
Marc:Definitely.
Marc:Well, you've got the joke skills of a tell, but the ability to talk about your life in a candid way.
Marc:Look at this.
Guest:This is a sweet Marin I love.
Guest:Do you know, actually, I was thinking about this on the way over here.
Guest:You don't know the first time we met.
Guest:I remember, but you wouldn't remember.
Marc:I think you brought it up to me once before.
Guest:Did I?
Guest:Was it at the Chicago Comedy Festival?
Guest:No.
Guest:I met you at Melrose years ago.
Guest:When I say years, I mean probably six, seven years ago.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it happened to be, you know when websites started to get good for comics?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And yours, it was just one of those where I was checking out people's websites.
Guest:And yours at the time was, I thought it was phenomenal because you had interactive shit.
Guest:The napkins?
Guest:The napkins.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And also you had the story of, I think, meeting Lorne.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Did you write it out?
Guest:Was it written on there?
Guest:It was written on there.
Guest:I put that in the new book.
Guest:I read the story and cried laughing, and then I saw you, and I was kind of intimidated to say something to you, because I was emceeing at Melrose there, I think.
Guest:So I saw you in the little hallway.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And I was like, hey man, and you're like, yeah, what's up?
Guest:I was like, I read that thing about Lauren, it's really funny.
Guest:You were very nice.
Guest:Yeah, oh good.
Guest:And I was just telling you how much I, but like, to me, I was like, it was like putting also, you know, in perspective for me like, oh, like, you can even make your website funny.
Guest:Mm-hmm.
Guest:you know if you're like yeah so like because at the time we were like just get a fucking headshot up there yeah yeah you're done and some dates yeah put your headshot up the short bio a place where they can email you and a totally made up bio by the way oh yeah he leaves audiences roaring in the eye or whatever i look at bios that are my bios and i'm like what the fuck is that i saw your uh the early headshots thing was great you put up oh you do yeah you favorited that thing it's right there that's that is tremendous man
Marc:This shit.
Marc:What was I thinking?
Marc:But I know in my mind, it's like, this isn't goofy.
Marc:This is legit.
Marc:This has meaning, like levels.
Marc:There was no like, I'm a clown guy.
Guest:I thought that was an earnest thing that I was doing.
Guest:If I was in a club working this week and I saw that and didn't know that was you, I definitely would have taken that picture and been like, look at this motherfucker.
Guest:I definitely would have done that.
Guest:That was actually, yeah, it was the late 80s, man.
Guest:Where'd you start?
Guest:Out here.
Guest:You did?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I didn't do it intentionally.
Guest:So I always tell people like, don't like.
Guest:But you came out here for what reason then?
Guest:I came out here, I knew I wanted to like do, perform.
Guest:Like I wanted to do comedy.
Guest:My real thought was like, what I should do, a good plan of action is.
Guest:It's good when you have those.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You have no idea what you're doing.
Guest:I was like, there's this place.
Guest:I read that people from the Groundlings would get into TV and movies.
Guest:I was like, that'll probably be me.
Guest:I'll just do that.
Guest:Where were you?
Guest:Where'd you grow up?
Guest:I moved around a lot.
Guest:But at the time, I was working for America's Most Wanted in D.C.
Guest:And I got to research crimes and fugitives and then pitch them to the guy, the editor in charge.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:How would that go?
Marc:Like, all right, this guy is great.
Marc:He's great.
Marc:He's horrible.
Marc:There's three women they know he killed.
Guest:And he skipped bail in Costa Rica, which, you know, it's like $11, but he did skip it out.
Guest:So he's traveling.
Guest:He's moving around.
Guest:They're not even pursuing him.
Guest:Let's put him on the show.
Guest:And they were like, how bad are his crimes?
Guest:He's fucking raping and cutting people up.
Guest:It's really good.
Guest:It's good stuff.
Marc:And then someone would go, I don't know.
Guest:It's kind of boring.
Guest:Really?
Marc:Wait, wait, wait.
Marc:How did we get from there, though?
Marc:Let's go back.
Marc:Okay, so you grew up in a lot of places.
Marc:What does that mean?
Marc:Your mother was running from something?
Marc:Fugitives.
Marc:They were on America's most wanted.
Marc:That's how I got on the show.
Marc:Yeah, that's how you got the job.
Marc:I'm willing to turn in my parents.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Can I intern here?
Guest:And they're like, all right.
Guest:If it's free.
Guest:This kid means it.
Guest:He wants in.
Guest:You could do it.
Guest:No, my mom's from Peru.
Guest:She's Peruvian.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:Huh.
Guest:It's weird you don't look.
Guest:My sisters look darker.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:They don't look like dark.
Guest:I'm not saying it's a bad thing.
Guest:I mean, whatever you're into.
Guest:Yeah, sure, man.
Guest:But they have dark eyes.
Guest:Peruvian.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And they have dark hair.
Guest:If they go in the sun, they get tan.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And if I go in the sun, I get pink and shit.
Guest:So it kind of.
Guest:And your dad was... He's white American from Louisville, Kentucky.
Guest:Oh, Louisville, Kentucky.
Guest:Super white guy.
Marc:Well, it's interesting because, you know, Louis C.K.
Marc:is Mexican.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know, half really Mexican.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And he's like as pale as he can be.
Marc:Oh, absolutely.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Not that I'm drawing a conclusion.
Marc:I'm sure people listening will be like, oh, here he goes with his kind of racial packaging.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, you know what I mean?
Marc:I don't know what that means.
Marc:Me and, yes.
Marc:I feel a very... I'm not trying to come down on you.
Guest:No, no, no.
Marc:I think it's exciting that you have Latino blood coursing through your brains.
Marc:I do.
Guest:I do.
Marc:And your veins.
Marc:I do.
Guest:And I speak fluent Spanish.
Guest:Do you?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, my mom spoke Spanish at home.
Guest:Like, that's her... She didn't speak English until she was like 33.
Guest:So you got that?
Marc:You got that in the quiver?
Marc:You can just pull it out?
Guest:It's in the brain.
Marc:It's in the canal.
Marc:Yeah, like... And that helps here because... It helps in restaurants.
Marc:It helps with valets.
Marc:It's a...
Marc:But people are surprised.
Marc:Oh, definitely.
Marc:I love when people all of a sudden pull the Spanish out.
Guest:You know what?
Guest:What the fuck just came out of your face?
Guest:You feel like you're pandering, and you kind of are, but it's kind of like the enjoyable kind where you get to soak it in.
Guest:If I do Miami, and I'll be 25 minutes into a set up there, and they're going along, and then somebody yells something, and they do some crazy accent, like heavy, like this guy's from Columbia.
Guest:And then I pop back at him, and then the whole audience just goes like...
Guest:What the fuck?
Guest:Pop back at him in Spanish?
Guest:Right.
Guest:They'll be like, what do you know about that?
Guest:And they're like,
Guest:what the fuck just happened like i don't even know what i just said but you know it's great i just like i'll make i'll just run through shit yeah yeah uh they'll be just surprised it's because i look like this and then you win man you totally win yeah and you know it's cheap and easy i was like i know i'm not like it's not cheap and easy it's like this weird like you know on some level everybody should know fucking spanish
Marc:Right.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:It's a thing that you think it's easy, but I guarantee you that some sort of upper middle class parents who are raising their kids, it's like, see, that's what we need.
Marc:That's why he needs to be able to speak both languages in the world we live in.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:A lot of people are going for Chinese.
Marc:I mean, they're hedging their bets.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:It's like they're assuming that, okay, the Latinos will still be people we need, but the Chinese are going to own us.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So we might be able to- My sister's one of those.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:My sister speaks Spanish.
Guest:She learned Chinese a couple of years ago in the Navy, and then she got out of the Navy, and now she has a one-year-old, and she's paying somebody to talk to him in Chinese at one.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:She's crazy.
Guest:She won't do it herself?
Guest:She does, but she wants the native speaker to say it.
Marc:And the kid's also learning Spanish?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, yeah, she talks to him in Spanish all the time.
Guest:That kid's going to be something else.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:English is going to be difficult.
Guest:Right now, he's just- He's one.
Guest:He's drinking out of the dog bowl every time I see a photo of him.
Guest:She's like, he loves the dog bowl.
Guest:I was like, how's the Chinese going?
Guest:Is that fucking moving along?
Marc:And also you might want to discourage him from the dog bowl at some point.
Marc:This is the 10th picture you've sent him in the dog bowl.
Guest:I see a lot of eating leaves and drinking out of the dog bowl.
Guest:So I don't know where that's going.
Guest:But he'll be bilingual.
Marc:That's what's important.
Marc:He's going to get one of them down.
Marc:Let's give him that.
Marc:He's already got the dog bowl down.
Marc:Might want to pull him out of there.
Marc:So where'd you grow up originally?
Guest:In the South?
Guest:Cincinnati.
Marc:What is going on there?
Guest:i love that just saying it like what the fuck is up with that place i've been there twice i got i got no pulse on it man it's just you know it's i always i've said this many times i feel like once you if you leave if you lived in a place yeah that you never drove in you don't know shit about that right that's true you know so like as a kid i lived in a few different i lived in cincinnati then minneapolis then milwaukee
Guest:and none of the three I ever drove in.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I could tell you about the school I went to.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Our house.
Guest:And a friend's house.
Guest:Yeah, and spaghetti with chili on it.
Guest:And people were like, you know, Mason Street?
Guest:I'm like, no, man, I don't.
Guest:I don't know anything.
Guest:I was 11.
Guest:I don't know what you're talking about.
Marc:Nothing.
Marc:I went to the movies once.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, I remember this one mall.
Guest:Is that mall still there?
Guest:And they're like, yeah, that mall sucks.
Guest:And I'm like, well, that's where I went.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It was cool when I was younger.
Marc:It was the place when you're 11.
Marc:That was Disneyland when I was a kid.
Marc:It's funny about malls.
Marc:Like, that was amazing.
Marc:We used to take a bus to go to a shitty mall.
Guest:Oh, yeah, man.
Guest:Malls were like, oh, you needed them.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:And when they built a new mall, it didn't matter.
Guest:Like, now you go in as an adult, you know, you see the level of store that's in there.
Guest:You're like, this place sucks.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because they have a certain- Yeah.
Guest:A chess king.
Marc:Yeah, absolutely.
Marc:What's the gift place with the black-white posters in the back?
Guest:Spencer's Gifts.
Guest:Spencer's.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, absolutely.
Guest:The Spencer's means there's no fucking Louis Vuitton there, too.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Marc:It means there's not much there.
Marc:you need.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You're pretty sure there's going to be Old Navy.
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Marc:But yeah, no Louis Vuitton.
Guest:And if there is a Louis Vuitton, and you're like, this place is full of assholes.
Guest:Yeah, that's a whole different thing.
Guest:This isn't a real mall.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:This is a joke.
Marc:This is not for regular people, this mall.
Marc:Absolutely.
Marc:So...
Marc:So you don't remember Cincinnati?
Guest:I don't remember it.
Guest:I go back every year to play Go Bananas.
Guest:That's a good room.
Guest:I love Go Bananas, yeah.
Guest:I've done the Newport one, too, but I like Go Bananas the most.
Guest:I know some of the UC crowd, the University of Cincinnati kids, the good school.
Guest:There's people in that, what is it, Clifton section.
Guest:It's fun, but...
Guest:I don't know, man.
Guest:I don't know a lot about it.
Marc:The college section?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:You know, it's weird.
Marc:As you get older, it's like, yeah, there's a really good part of town.
Marc:I know exactly what that part of town is.
Marc:I know exactly what's there.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And I know how it all breaks down.
Guest:I know what kind of stores are there.
Guest:The diner.
Guest:I know what you're talking about, man.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, so I lived there, then I moved to Minneapolis two years.
Guest:That's a good place, but still no real recollection.
Guest:No real recollection.
Guest:I did it, I did Acme a couple weeks ago.
Guest:Great place.
Guest:And the kid who lived across the street from me when I was 11, who I haven't seen since I left there when I was, well, I left when I was 11, so I haven't seen him since I was 11, came to my show at Acme.
Guest:He surprised you?
Guest:No, he was on Facebook.
Guest:We were going, but we used to spend, when you're that age, you spend every single day.
Guest:Building forts and shit.
Guest:Oh, yeah, man.
Guest:So Dan Cody.
Marc:Dan Cody came down.
Marc:Dan Cody came to the show.
Marc:Were you able to reminisce about being 11?
Guest:We did.
Guest:We both reminisced about how we used to masturbate with the other one in the room and didn't think the other one was aware of it.
Guest:Because that was like a big, it was just, it was a lot of sleep overnights.
Guest:Sure, man.
Guest:And we used to watch scrambled porn, like Spice Channel.
Guest:At 11.
Guest:Yeah, and like trying to like see it when it wasn't coming in.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:But he's, oh, it's a boob.
Guest:Yeah, and he was like, I don't know if you knew, but in those sleeping bags, I used to be like kind of jerking off.
Guest:And I was like, I was humping the floor.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And like just rubbing it out that way.
Marc:Oh, is that sweet?
Guest:It was a sweet moment.
Guest:We connected on that.
Marc:It was real sweet.
Marc:And that's 11.
Marc:I guess that's about the time that you first start doing it.
Marc:You're not sure why you're doing it, but you do it.
Marc:I think that's where I first started doing it.
Guest:11?
Marc:Yeah, 11.
Marc:I was younger.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Consciously?
Marc:You know, like there's some titties?
Guest:No, no.
Guest:Just sort of like, this feels good.
Guest:I kind of discovered this feels good.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And then I remember telling other people, like friends and cousins, and they're like, what are you talking about, man?
Guest:And I was like, you don't pinch your foreskin and kind of twirl it around?
Guest:No.
Guest:No.
Guest:What the fuck's wrong with you?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You're ahead of the game, man.
Marc:I was like, do you get that feeling that you shake?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And they're like, no.
Marc:My thing was like, I somehow accidentally stuck my dick into bath water coming out of the faucet.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Guest:And I was like, what is this?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So there was a good period of time where I was just sitting there, you know.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:With the water.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That was fucking aces.
Marc:Oh, man.
Marc:I talk about this on stage now, too.
Marc:Do you remember, like, since you came to it before you actually knew what it was, do you remember the first time you saw how fucking worked?
Marc:Like, in a picture?
Marc:Like, that...
Guest:I saw what I thought, I thought I had seen porn.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because I had.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I didn't realize I was seeing like, not quite softcore, but kind of softcore.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I remember my cousin in Peru gave me a tape.
Guest:He was like, what is porn?
Guest:I'm like, I've seen it.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:He was like, you haven't seen this shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And what it was was just hardcore.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I had never seen- How old were you?
Guest:13.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And I was like, holy shit.
Guest:And I'm going to jerk off all goddamn day for this.
Guest:Yeah, it's over, man.
Guest:It's over.
Marc:For the rest of your life.
Marc:I mean, you probably jerk off to those images from that movie until you're 17.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, it's still in there.
Guest:And those jerks were so good.
Guest:I'm still chasing that dragon, dude.
Marc:Yeah, that's it.
Marc:The best ones.
Marc:The first time you see how it really works, you're like, it's never going to happen again.
Marc:It's amazing.
Marc:The best thing ever.
Marc:It's amazing.
Marc:And sometimes when you do it, even now where you're fucking, you're like, look, this looks just like that original picture I saw.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's not the same.
Guest:No.
Guest:No.
Guest:It's not the same.
Guest:Those images never leave your head.
Marc:Oh, it's fucking great.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So, all right.
Marc:Madison, then?
Marc:Minneapolis.
Marc:Minneapolis.
Guest:And then Milwaukee.
Marc:Again, I don't know what's going on there.
Marc:I know kind of what's going on in Minneapolis.
Yeah.
Guest:By the way, not that you would know this already, but I love that fucking club, man.
Marc:Yeah, there's something about it.
Marc:It's Magic Club.
Marc:It's Magic Club.
Marc:Yeah, it is.
Marc:And he just let me start working there again.
Marc:I was on like a 12-year hiatus.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Or like six or something like that.
Marc:Yeah, I don't know what happened.
Marc:It's a Magic Club.
Marc:I fucking, I killed it there the last time.
Marc:I was fucking thrilled.
Marc:It's so great.
Marc:It's so great.
Marc:I don't know what, it's the low ceilings, it's cozy.
Guest:But it's everything.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's all come, like.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:You know that, like, I was like, so why don't you guys do a check drop?
Guest:And they're like, we do do a check drop.
Guest:And I'm like.
Guest:how do I not notice it?
Guest:And they're like, oh, because we train the staff to kind of pick up on their tables, like practices.
Guest:So that like, if a guy's nursing a beer and he's 30 minutes in still on that beer,
Guest:They'll just drop the check 30 minutes in.
Guest:And I'm like, that's really smart.
Guest:And they're like, yeah, I know.
Guest:And I was like, well, why doesn't everybody do that?
Guest:And they're like, I don't know, because everyone's fucking idiots.
Guest:And I was like, oh, so they're just giving it according to what the, and I'm like, so you train them to do that.
Marc:To be sensitive to the customer that they're dealing with.
Marc:Right.
Marc:As opposed to just dumping it all at once.
Guest:All at once.
Marc:And so you can feel the entire room drop out in the middle of a setup.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Of usually one of your last jokes.
Marc:Like somebody opened a gate.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:And then they're like, drop him!
Marc:And you're like, holy shit.
Marc:It's always right around the closing area, like where you're building up to shit.
Marc:Oh, of course.
Marc:And like, you know, you hit that one stride and it's like, nothing!
Marc:Nothing.
Marc:What happened?
Marc:And then you just see a room full of people looking down.
Marc:And talking about it.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Oh, it's fucking... What'd you get?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Did you get these?
Yeah.
Guest:I didn't even have a bite of these, man.
Guest:And you're like, come on, man.
Guest:How much do I owe?
Marc:How much do I owe?
Marc:All right, so Milwaukee, I got to go there.
Guest:Any recollection of that?
Guest:I started to get a recollection, but I still wasn't driving.
Guest:Freshman year of high school is when we moved to Florida from there.
Marc:And your parents are together the whole time?
Guest:The whole time, yeah.
Guest:Still.
Marc:How do you like that?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, I'm so... It's amazing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:What's your dad do?
Guest:He works in finance.
Marc:Oh, so he's a finance guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:It's vague.
Guest:Yeah, I mean, you know, investment advisor.
Guest:Sure, yeah.
Marc:Is he helping you out?
Guest:Not really.
Guest:You know what I realize is like my money is so petty.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like he would never entertain a client like me.
Marc:Yeah, I've got $6,000.
Guest:Oh my God.
Marc:Can we make this into a lot of money?
Guest:Oh my God, it's so, to the point where I have to, I'll call, I'll yell at his secretary, like, are you gonna help me out?
Guest:Because he won't.
Guest:He will, but he's like, yeah, buddy, you just need to save.
Guest:I'm like, is that the investment advice you're giving me?
Guest:He's like, yeah.
Guest:You gotta save.
Guest:Save.
Guest:You should just work on saving.
Guest:And I'm like, this is what you tell your other clients?
Guest:Well, my other clients have other needs, buddy.
Guest:Yeah, they have money.
Guest:My other clients.
Guest:Much, much more than you have.
Guest:Cool, dad.
Guest:Yeah, he would never take me on as a client.
Guest:And then I used to, for a while, I was like talking to my friends who didn't have retirement accounts and stuff.
Guest:And I was like, dude, you should just set it up.
Guest:I'll hook you up with my dad.
Guest:So I'd call my dad.
Guest:Hey, as a favor, will you let, you know, Charlie start an account?
Guest:He'd be like, okay.
Guest:And then after a while, he was like,
Guest:you know if you think you can stop sending me poor people to work with I was like yeah sure I didn't realize I was like just bothering him by doing that he's doing you a favor and the guy's calling up me up to say can I take that $700 out of my IRA you got it man do whatever you need with that
Guest:Oh, shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So he still does that.
Guest:He was always working with the same company and moving around.
Guest:And then, yeah, we ended up in Florida in Vero Beach.
Marc:See, now, for some reason, somehow you strike me as someone who was... That Florida left an impression on you.
Guest:that was it was jarring yeah i mean you know you know so you're already like in your mid-teens by the time you got there i moved there in the middle of my freshman year of high school yeah at 14 and that that definitely did you go through high school in florida i finished yeah that's a fucking defining thing definitely is
Guest:yeah yeah what was it what was it the first because i i don't know what the fuck is going on down there dude dude florida is a is a trip like it's so what part i was uh i was in vero i was um two and a half hours north of miami yeah um on the east coast uh-huh um so that's kind of that's moving towards rednecky
Guest:Well, if you go inland a mile.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You're in Appalachia?
Guest:I had friends in my high school who came to school in a truck with super swampers on it.
Guest:I was like, what the fuck is that?
Guest:What is a super swamp?
Guest:They had like four foot tires.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Four feet tall.
Marc:Sure, the big things, yeah.
Guest:And then they're like, dude, let's go hunting.
Guest:I was like, I don't even know what that is.
Guest:Who are you?
Guest:What are we going to hunt?
Guest:I'm like, I'm just going to shoot hogs, man.
Guest:Let's get with it, man.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So those tires actually serve a purpose?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So you can drive in garbage.
Guest:You would drive in garbage.
Guest:Drive through, in, and around garbage.
Guest:And then you would jump off of that and jump into their hunting buggy, which was a modified school bus that they had sliced in half.
Guest:So it was all open top.
Guest:So you could shoot from any angle without anything obstructing your view.
Guest:And that had crazy super swampers.
Guest:And we would just drive over trees in this thing.
Guest:And then they'd be like, there's a hog.
Guest:And bam.
Guest:And I was like, this is horrifying.
Guest:This is bad.
Guest:and i remember to be in a cut-up school bus shooting pigs shooting pigs and then i remember i didn't know shit about hunting and this guy took me out hunting one time and i was like so what do we do he's like well they're gonna feed this is their feed stand and i was like what do you mean he's like well like we drop feed in here yeah so we know they're gonna come here i'm like so you're we're gonna shoot them at the place that you feed them at like that's not hunting is it and they're like yeah that's hunting i was like
Guest:that's cheating yeah man like you're feeding them and then while they're eating we're just gonna shoot him in the head he's like they're like yeah yeah it's part of hunting man so i'm like all right one of them i know a guy who went coon hunting which i didn't know i never went on this but he told me about he's like there's so much fun what you do is we go out to like there's a lot of citrus groves right yeah
Guest:And raccoons, some people don't know that raccoons are fucking crazy, vicious.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:They'll fuck with you.
Guest:They don't take any shit.
Guest:No.
Marc:They will stand you down.
Guest:When I started dating Christina, she was in Pasadena, and she was like, at night, these adorable raccoons come up here, and I'll pet them.
Guest:And I'm like, you'll pet them.
Guest:Did she?
Guest:She said she did.
Guest:I can't.
Guest:I was like, dude, that thing will tear your fucking face off.
Guest:I can't believe she touched a wild raccoon.
Guest:I think she's...
Guest:She's making that up.
Guest:I don't know, man.
Marc:All I know is when they come up here to eat the cat food, I don't even try to scare them away.
Marc:Because you'll open the door and they'll just be like, what, is there a problem here?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And they got those monkey hands and it's just fucking bizarre.
Guest:Yeah, it's a bizarre animal.
Guest:But this kid told me that he would, he's like, go out to the groves and what we do is we'll shine a light on like a row between the groves.
Guest:And then the raccoons will freeze in the light.
Guest:And you see the eyes reflect.
Guest:And then we just light them up with an AR-15.
Guest:And I was like, that's the... That's the sport?
Guest:The hunt?
Guest:And they're like, do you eat that?
Guest:And they're like, hell no, you don't eat that.
Guest:So you're just shooting shit?
Marc:What's an AR-14?
Marc:AR-15?
Guest:15, yeah.
Guest:It's a semi-automatic assault, right?
Guest:Something you don't need.
Guest:It's like Marines have it.
Guest:Right, right, right.
Guest:Then they all got them.
Guest:I knew a few people that had them, yeah.
Guest:I knew one of the guys actually that was part of, whose dad was part of the design of that gun.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He developed the gun.
Marc:So this was, you're not a hunter guy, so you're just bouncing along?
Marc:Yeah, I mean.
Marc:What were these hogs?
Marc:They were wild hogs?
Marc:Wild boar, yeah.
Guest:Oh yeah, and did they eat those?
Guest:They would eat those, yeah.
Guest:I saw them shoot one's leg off, and then it collapsed, and that was the mother.
Guest:I'm like, this sucks, dude.
Guest:I don't want to do this.
Marc:What, the little pigs were coming?
Guest:Well, the little pigs were like, what happened to mom's leg?
Guest:And they killed the mom.
Guest:They killed the bomb, yeah, and then they ate it and everything, yeah.
Guest:But did they kill the kids?
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:Just let them scramble.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Wait till they get a little fat on them.
Guest:Come back, yeah.
Guest:Put a little meat in the freezer.
Marc:But isn't it that moment of like, I don't know what kind of guy you are, but I'm the kind of guy I'd be like, oh, God.
Marc:The heartbreak of it.
Guest:I think at that age, because I'm like 15, 16, I just pretended that I was like, this is fucking awesome.
Guest:We have to do this more.
Guest:Look at that animal.
Guest:animal in pain that's not dead yet you can hear it squealing to its death yeah it's great yeah but inside you're like yeah i was like just and then i the whole like yeah the the killing not good i wasn't into it no but the you know driving around with the big tires not so bad that's not so bad that was kind of fun yeah um what else like what else is going on down there in florida man
Guest:You know, there's so much of it's it's such a full spectrum of different types that are so close to each other because you'd have like the uber wealthy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, you hear about these homes like, you know, Tiger Woods has his place in Jupiter.
Guest:And there were those type of people.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:CEO types.
Guest:Waterfront, beachfront mansions.
Guest:And then you had kind of upper class, this, that.
Guest:And then across the bridge, there's the fishing people and beach bum types that you see in movies like the Florida Key type guy.
Guest:And then there's the Cubans.
Guest:the cubans the jews uh-huh and then there's those other people with the tires yeah and and they're all like you just you know everybody's section i guess like a lot of you know neighborhood kind of things you know that like all right yeah this is this is jew haven right here yeah this is crazy that's what it's called on the map jew haven that's right yeah
Marc:Jew Haven, Crazy Cuban Land.
Guest:Absolutely.
Guest:And then, yeah, like black neighborhoods that are unlike neighborhoods.
Guest:I like that we're diplomatic on that one.
Marc:Crazy Cubans, Jew Haven, and the black neighborhood.
Guest:The black neighborhoods, they're good people, and they're just trying to get by.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But you do get the feeling that if it all came down to chaos, that the guys with the big tires really run that state on some level, up north anyways.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:yeah you know what i mean sure like there's definitely like there's more south to it than than i usually pay attention people yeah you know it's it is more rednecky than people give it credit for yeah and most of the state is you know people think of florida some people think of beaches and they're just like oh like miami lauderdale and you're like and you're like that south beach yeah that is like a mile and a half strip that's it of the pretty people yeah the beautiful people and the europeans yeah and the latinas and and then thongs and topless yeah
Guest:After that mile, two mile stretch, it's just over.
Marc:Yeah, it's French Canadian tourists and Germans.
Guest:Yeah, and a lot of guns.
Guest:Yeah, and guns.
Marc:Yeah, I don't know what to do in South Beach.
Marc:That's one of those situations where I walk into, I'm like, I've never been in this situation.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I don't know how to fit into this situation.
Marc:I don't even know the language of what's, the cultural language of what's going on here.
Guest:South Beach, as far as going out, I cannot.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That is not for me.
Marc:And I performed down there.
Marc:I did the South Beach Comedy Festival.
Marc:I'm like, who's going to come see me?
Marc:Which of this array of Euro types is going to come in and go, let's listen to the Jew get angry about things?
Marc:I mean, this guy seems to have problems.
Marc:Let's make that our email.
Guest:But I, you know, at the same time, a state with that population does have its surprises where, where like you can go and be like, this is going to suck.
Guest:And then because when you're talking about 14 million people or whatever they have there, you're going to find, um, you're going to find types that like people that really, I mean, I just did the improv down there at the casino at the hard rock.
Guest:Oh, you did.
Marc:It was not great.
Marc:You do okay down there.
Marc:i do i can't you know i you know i did okay i mean i got through it i had never performed with that much energy oh yeah i amped my shit up and i realized it was just to keep their minimum attention minimum attention to keep you at some sort of flow and the only fucking thing about that is you crap out your hour at about 47 yeah and you're like oh that was the closer yeah but we're still here we're still doing this
Marc:That feeling is horrendous.
Marc:Well, I should have got off on that, but we're going to keep plowing through it.
Guest:Orlando turned into a better room.
Guest:They closed a few years ago and then reopened, and that's a fun room.
Marc:I don't work them a lot, and I don't really seek them out because until you're a huge draw, the free ticket thing just kills the fucking audience.
Guest:I know, but my whole thing is I have, ever since I've been working and getting offers to work on the road, I'm a pretty much, I mean, it's changed a little bit now, but I pretty much work all the time just because to maintain a lifestyle, to have income.
Guest:Yeah, and also to keep...
Guest:in it.
Guest:Yeah, of course, stay in it.
Guest:But I mean, for the necessity of work.
Guest:And I know so many guys who are not huge draws at all.
Guest:And they're like, yeah, I go out every once in a while.
Guest:I'm like, what do you do?
Guest:They're like, commercials.
Guest:And I'm like, you bank on... You're like, no, I'll get a commercial.
Guest:That's what you're going off of?
Guest:All right.
Guest:I've done commercials, but I don't think that'll probably come... Yeah, I don't do commercials.
Marc:And now...
Marc:like the last year or so I've had things going on, but I like going out and doing stand-up because I feel like I earned it.
Marc:And I primarily do clubs when I go out.
Marc:I like doing independently owned clubs.
Marc:And now we tried the theater thing.
Marc:There's a couple markets I can do that in and my people come out, but I like going to clubs.
Marc:It's just that it got to a point where
Marc:The expectation for me that, you know, you go to these rooms and no matter what you sell, they're going to fucking pay for the shit out of the place.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And that's all well and good that they get their drink money.
Marc:But to play for a bunch of people that barely even want to be at a comedy club.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Necessarily.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:Let alone see me.
Marc:Oh, I know.
Marc:It's just heartbreaking.
Marc:It kills me, too.
Marc:And there's a corporatization to the thing.
Marc:Like, you're not special to anybody who fucking works at that place unless you're selling a bunch of tickets.
Guest:And it's do six or seven shows of this.
Marc:Yeah, and they build these rooms that seat 500 fucking people.
Marc:And there's nothing worse than like, oh no, we got it covered.
Marc:And they close that back curtain.
Marc:No, we can make this seat.
Marc:Well, not as little as you're doing, but it won't seem empty.
Marc:It's like, we can make it so it doesn't seem empty.
Marc:Great, that's a good thing to hear heading into the week.
Marc:By the way, you get 50% off anything you want on that menu, man.
Marc:50% off.
Marc:Thank you, man.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:But there's also the part of me, though, and I'm not going to drag you into anything, where it's like, what'd they fucking do for me coming up?
Marc:They throw me like, you know, these off weeks, you know, like, you know, like I ended up like I did a week in Schaumburg, Illinois, like that I got on a real short notice.
Marc:So I'm like, yeah, great.
Marc:Do the improv that seats 900, you know, outside of Chicago, wherever the hell it is.
Marc:and uh you know i get there it's saturday night and i drew nobody because no one knew i was going to be there and i didn't really have much of a draw but nobody really came and i'm like what's up and it's like uh you know rich jenny was supposed to do this had he not killed himself oh my god yeah so i'm doing jenny you know she's just cursed week you know weekend that weekend yeah and i found out the saturday that that's what you know when when he had canceled it he was just having problems
Marc:You know, but by the time Saturday came, you know, the problems were over.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:No more problems.
Marc:No more problems.
Marc:But I just, you know, I just, like, you get to a certain point where it's like, I can sell a few tickets to the people that like me.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:You know, what do I need to give them money for?
Guest:Well, I just started embracing that on a very small level.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But that's what we're trying to do now.
Guest:So, like, even, like, Christine and I are doing this thing where we found a couple places.
Guest:Yep.
Guest:Small rooms.
Guest:Yep.
Guest:and, you know, selling the tickets ourselves, but we know that everybody that comes to the show wants to be there.
Marc:Yeah, it'd be fun.
Guest:So, you know, I think we'll get to, like, we're doing Seattle and Portland in May, and I think, you know, I feel confident that we can get to the 150 range, which, dude, I would rather do one show to 150 people.
Marc:And walk with 80% of the door, whatever it is.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, why not?
Marc:Absolutely.
Marc:Then, like, six shows for less money.
Marc:Oh, and the second or third show Saturday, where you're just, oh, man.
Marc:you know but there's still part of me and i'm sure you have it too that there's that warrior spirit it's like this is part of my job man yeah yeah i'm gonna go out there and i'm gonna engage absolutely you do and it can be fun but you know there's part of you like as you get better as a comic where you like you know i don't want to you know i you know i know i can do that yeah but if i had a choice of course would i want to make a half hour out of that guy who's not going to remember he was at the club right right no i want to fucking i want to do my shit yeah
Guest:Yeah, but it's the business we chose.
Guest:It is.
Guest:We chose the path.
Guest:And then I had a few months ago, actually, I did this show where the first night, somebody popped off, yelled some shit at me.
Guest:And so I said something back, and it just happened to be one of those nice...
Guest:Worked out great.
Guest:Oh, that's going to be great.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Where it worked out.
Guest:So the bouncer at the end of the show, like it turned into huge laughs.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He's like, so I was watching you.
Guest:So you'd like it when people yell shit out.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I was like, hold on a second, man.
Guest:Like, it's not that I like it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Is that like, I know kind of what I'm doing.
Guest:But I mean, like, you know, I can I can deal with it because I do this a lot.
Guest:But I'm not saying like, please encourage people to yell shit out the whole time.
Guest:Or don't monitor the room.
Guest:Right.
Guest:yeah so then of course two three four five shows go by yeah like the sixth show yeah the features on stage and there is a table just full volume like having the loudest fucking conversation ever so I point out when I go I just point at the table like that's a table you should go talk to man yeah you see how everybody's looking at it yeah yeah while the guy's on stage it's not part of the show yeah and he was like what's up and I was like the table and he was like yeah I mean they're just talking I was like that's
Guest:Didn't we talk about this?
Guest:He's like, but you like this, right?
Guest:I'm like, no.
Guest:First of all, I'm not even up there.
Guest:I'm already having a problem.
Guest:I have a problem now before I hit the stage.
Marc:Do you ever have that thing where I believe that I can do it and I don't care what anybody says.
Marc:I'm weird.
Marc:When I'm working a club,
Marc:and they're loading the room in you know after they've loaded it in before the show even starts i'll fucking do a round like i'll just you know i i don't care if people see me or what and i'll say hey what's up yeah i'm just but you know you kind of do that you know you're you'd stick your your face out the door and like right over in that area there's a bad thing happening absolutely i do it in the walk-in in the seating i'm like that that right is that table 21 yeah table 21's a problem yeah that guy's a problem right there
Guest:And you know what?
Guest:Nine times out of 10.
Guest:You're right.
Guest:100% right.
Guest:And the person who you told is like, oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, you did say that.
Guest:And you're like, yeah, man.
Guest:You know why?
Guest:Because I saw him drooling on himself on the way in.
Guest:I saw his friend holding him up.
Guest:And then you guys brought him a bucket of beers.
Marc:So that was kind of the problem.
Marc:There's that, but also there's the vibe where you can sort of identify a dude who's like, I'm funnier than that guy.
Marc:Who the fuck is this guy?
Guest:Why are we here?
Guest:I don't know this guy.
Guest:If they come, especially if it's a crew, like if it's a crew of dudes.
Marc:Oh, crews of any kind.
Guest:Yeah, and there's four, and they have that aggro energy.
Guest:Yeah, the aggro energy.
Marc:They're all wearing the button-up shirts.
Marc:They're a little, kind of think they're buff.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Fucking like, dude.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then one of them is always the first to pop something off.
Guest:And then his buddies are like, fuck, yeah, Tony knows what he's talking about.
Guest:And then so they encourage him.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then you're dealing with it.
Guest:That gives them confidence as a group.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's pretty exciting, actually, now that we're talking about it, to sort of engage that.
Marc:But with somebody like me, I don't know where... Even the worst fucking asshole in the room who's popping off, if you go too far, the audience will be sympathetic.
Marc:There's that moment where the audience goes, oh, that was uncalled for.
Marc:Of course.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, I'm the bad guy now?
Guest:You got to keep the anger in check.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:That's the whole thing.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:Once the anger- The real anger comes?
Guest:The real anger comes out, funny is gone.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:There's no funny left in that.
Guest:It's got to be- Has that happened?
Guest:A hundred times.
Guest:Where I have lost my shit on a number of people where afterwards the audience was like, this dude's insane.
Guest:I can just see it in their eyes.
Guest:They're like, just laugh.
Guest:Because otherwise, we don't know what's going to happen right now.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:At first, there's the uncomfortable laughter.
Marc:And then just that weird sucking silence where you could hear the tone in your voice.
Marc:You could hear it happen.
Marc:And then when you finish saying whatever you're saying, there's just like...
Guest:What?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I had a table once where it was four girls and they were drunk.
Guest:Woo!
Guest:The thing about people don't recognize when they do that and you feel like you're kind of being disrespected or mocked, you don't want to be vulnerable anymore.
Guest:And that kills a show.
Guest:It kills the show.
Marc:That's the whole fucking problem with what I'm talking about.
Marc:With performing for Papered Rooms,
Marc:I don't mind if people don't know me.
Marc:I mean, I'm a professional.
Marc:I can do that.
Marc:But respect the goddamn situation.
Marc:Because vulnerability.
Marc:Because I don't want to find myself in the Marc Maron that used to perform 10 years ago.
Marc:That would just strut the stage and go, is there a problem?
Marc:I've gotten past that.
Marc:And I'm not, I guess, I don't know.
Marc:I can't detach from my material.
Marc:I can't do it.
Marc:I can't autopilot.
Marc:Because if I autopilot, it's just a tragedy.
Marc:So if I'm not going to be vulnerable.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:If I can't open up and be comfortable and like, let's have fun here.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Then the other thing is just sort of like, oh, you want this?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:We can do this.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I'm still engaged.
Guest:What is it?
Guest:And that kills a performance.
Guest:That's the worst.
Guest:It absolutely kills it.
Guest:I don't want to open up anymore.
Guest:I also, not only do I not want to share, I don't want to have fun anymore with you.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And this group was like, you know, front of the room, and they were like, and it was like, it was building, and I was kind of like, yeah, you know, could you?
Guest:Okay, yeah.
Guest:And then one of the girls said something, and she was really, and also people in the back can't hear it.
Guest:No.
Marc:So if you're not repeating their fucking stupid bullshit, you're just a guy yelling at these girls.
Marc:These girls that look like they're just laughing.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:So they're like, what is this guy fucking, he doesn't like their laugh?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I was like, I keep saying stuff and there's a back and forth.
Guest:And finally when I said something, the one girl who's like the drunkest turns and she spits on the ground.
Guest:And I was like, did you just fucking spit on the ground?
Guest:Like you're a pig, you know that?
Guest:You're a fucking pig.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Why don't we bring you a bucket so you can eat and drink and spit into your own fucking bucket, you pig?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:and like it was perfect a server had just taken a bucket off of another person's table and in the moment he walked up and put a bucket in front of her oh yeah support so the whole crowd laughs and applauds she who's drunk and kind of confused wants to like you know wants to play out she thinks we're like fucking improv-ing right now yeah she picks up the bucket to give it back to him and falls over another table so now like her legs go up in the air
Guest:And people, I'm like, it's a fucking, just a mess.
Guest:And then her friends start yelling at me, how dare you call her a pig?
Guest:And I was like, she spit on the fucking ground.
Guest:And she's on the table.
Guest:Look at her.
Guest:She's fucking, her ass is up in the air.
Guest:They're spit on the ground.
Guest:Who fucking does that?
Guest:And it just build, build.
Guest:And then they're yelling more at me.
Guest:Well, I'm getting more angry because now I realize there's almost like no hope.
Guest:There's no way they're going to follow the show.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I'm just pissed about that.
Guest:How far in are you?
Guest:15 minutes.
Guest:Oh.
Guest:It's bad.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And...
Guest:And then I get really pissed, and I start yelling at them.
Guest:At that point, I'm just trying to insult them.
Guest:I want to hurt their feelings.
Guest:Sure, yeah, absolutely.
Guest:Yeah, so I'm like, you know, there's a fucking issue.
Guest:Someone's gonna cry.
Guest:You know, I know they probably rode up on you, and your trough is out back once you go there and feed.
Guest:Kept going with the pig thing.
Guest:The pig, yeah, and then her friend is losing it.
Guest:They end up carrying the friend out.
Guest:Bouncer has to pick her up.
Guest:The original one?
Guest:No.
Guest:Another one.
Guest:The friend that's supporting.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Because she's defending her friend.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And I'm just like, I'm not even letting her voice let anybody hear.
Guest:I just keep going as hard as I can.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then finally, they're out of the room.
Guest:And I'm looking at the door that they pulled them out of.
Guest:And I'm like, and I look back.
Guest:And the whole audience is like, god damn.
Guest:Like, this wide-eyed.
Marc:Where are we going now?
Guest:And I was like, you can't spit on the ground, guys.
Guest:I didn't know what else to say.
Guest:I was like, that's disrespectful.
Guest:Did that work?
Guest:They were kind of like, and I realized that I couldn't go back to like, so the other day.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:So I just, I had to stop the show and be like, look, you come to the show.
Guest:And I had to give like a lecture.
Guest:On proper behavior?
Guest:I did.
Guest:And I was like, I apologize for like losing my shit in front of you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I know it's not fun, but I was like, look, and I had to explain in detail what happened.
Guest:And then people were like, no, that's cool.
Guest:And like, you know.
Guest:Yeah, all right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Put this back on the tracks if you can.
Guest:Free ticket, bro.
Guest:We're kind of with you.
Guest:We came for free.
Guest:This is a pretty cool show.
Marc:Well, that's all you can do is like, hey, something happened.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Right?
Marc:Right?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Guest:This is not, you know, you'll remember this.
Guest:At least, you know, I think in those situations when you lose your shit, if somebody has your side, you at least feel a little bit justified.
Marc:But that moment where you just know, you know, like when you've said cunt.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:You know, or whatever.
Marc:Oh yeah.
Marc:You know, or you got the crying bachelorette here, you know, something's just gone, you know, or you, you're sort of going in on some woman who's got with a dude and then, you know, like you start something funny and then all of a sudden you realize the dude's not looking at you too funny anymore at that moment.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Are you, uh,
Marc:Were you ever like laying to some dude that then like, you know, he's got no legs or something that moment?
Guest:Oh, I did that for, I did that one time on a clap.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you never do something that's totally out of like the norm for you.
Guest:Like it's a behavior or a gesture or something.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:Just in that one moment, you decided to do it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I walked up on stage and I never do this.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But as they're applauding,
Guest:I start applauding back to them, but in a manner of like, why don't you applaud more?
Guest:Like I'm staring at people.
Guest:At a guy like, where's your fucking applaud?
Marc:How come?
Marc:Is this a show?
Guest:So more people applaud.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I find a woman in the front and I go like this to her, like clapping.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And looking at her and she just keeps looking at me.
Guest:And the man who's with her puts his arm around her, but like in a really protective way and just stares at me like, hey man.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so I'm like, and then I look and she has no arms.
Guest:So she just has a coat over her no arms.
Guest:And I'm like, ah.
Guest:And I know that we're like the only ones who have.
Guest:So I'm not, I go, I don't want to like make it worse.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I just go, I was driving here today.
Guest:It was crazy.
Guest:Right into it.
Guest:And then after the show, even though it was totally unspoke, she comes up and she goes, I totally know what happened.
Guest:And she goes, I have a million jokes about my situation.
Guest:So it's fine.
Guest:And I was like, yeah, I just, I didn't know you didn't have hands.
Marc:You're like, did you have a good time?
Guest:Yeah, was it going to be fun?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So, well, how does it work?
Marc:How long have you been with Christina?
Marc:Eight years.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:How long have you been married?
Marc:We've been married just over four years.
Marc:It's going good?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's great.
Marc:Yeah, she's fun, smart, man.
Guest:Yeah, she's a lot of fun.
Marc:I didn't really get to know her until she came over and did the podcast, but she's sharp.
Guest:She's super sharp.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, it's worked out great that we found each other that we get along well and we can do... We just have a good time together.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:We just make each other laugh.
Marc:And you're working together.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, it came from the podcast.
Guest:The podcast is the thing that we do together all the time.
Guest:And you guys are doing all right with that?
Guest:You got a lot of listeners?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, we're not like...
Guest:fucking your level but we have enough where it's like there's a following yeah they're really die hard yeah like super loyal listeners yeah yeah people get very invested in your life when yeah you know we share they know us so intimately and then like my family are regular call-ins on the show yeah so my dad's always on talking about his bowel movements and like that's all he talks about does he know he's on the show
Guest:yeah yeah yeah and then but like he just you know he just loves talking about it and then I was with him when he shit his pants so I got audio of him moments after he shit his pants which is really so that's cutting that's breaking news breaking news on the show and they know my sister my lunatic sister with the with the one year old and her crazy coffee orders like they know it they know everybody really intimately on the show yeah and that's been super fun and that we get to do that together and then
Guest:we normally don't get to work together.
Guest:You know, we're doing the whole, the circuit of I'm in fucking Houston.
Guest:You're both headliners.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And she's in San Jose and DC and I'm in, you know, Chicago.
Guest:So now.
Marc:Why the fuck when they package you?
Marc:I mean, that's a very odd thing.
Guest:They've, I mean, they've tried, but it's always like, um, I don't know.
Guest:It's, it's, it's just usually not, it's not always the most enticing offer.
Guest:And we're like, nah, I'd rather just go do my, right, right, right, right.
Guest:So but now we're trying to take more control of it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So it's the thing we're like this way we get to be together instead of spending every fucking week apart.
Guest:And then and it's to an audience that wants to see us.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's great.
Marc:Like I'm like I'm the only the only issue with that with it is is that like I love my fans and they're great.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But they're sort of like they know everything.
Marc:yeah you know and they they know everything yeah so you go do your jokes and they're like that's great but how's your dad you know which is nice i mean i like that too yeah but like there's already sort of this weird kind of like how do you continue to fill the content yeah you know what i mean because you always want to go out like you know you talk about everything on the podcast and then then sometimes those become jokes yeah you know things get honed and then but then like sort of like it's going to get to the point where it's like oh my god you guys are you're all here uh and you know that thing that happened last week and
Marc:Well, this morning, let's start with this morning.
Marc:You know, it really forces you in that situation where I got to stay on top of this shit.
Marc:You ever take a shower and it's like a really hot shower?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:That happened today.
Marc:Today.
Marc:I got nothing on it, but I'll have something on it, yeah.
Marc:But when you deal with... My second wife was an aspiring comic.
Marc:Did you guys... Was there fucking... Do you have problems?
Marc:Like, who's going to do that one?
Guest:No, not really.
Guest:I mean, it honestly has worked out where we both... We started around the same time.
Guest:We got to know each other.
Guest:We kind of developed...
Guest:around the same pace and like most of the time it's like we'll have a conversation and whoever says like the funny line about whatever we're talking about well they get well they said the joke so it's never been a thing like forget the one that was last week but like she said the joke
Guest:And then she's like, that's mine, right?
Guest:And I was like, yeah, you just said it.
Guest:I'm not going to steal shit from your mouth that you just said.
Marc:Right, but do you ever go like, well, I kind of did the setup.
Guest:I kind of.
Marc:Yeah, I mean, I drove you there.
Marc:Well.
Marc:You tagged it, but it was my setup.
Marc:Concept was all me.
Marc:Does that happen?
Guest:No, it really doesn't.
Marc:I swear it doesn't.
Marc:Oh, that's funny.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So how do you get from Florida to America's Most Wanted, though?
Guest:What the fuck was that career path?
Guest:That's crazy, right?
Guest:I went to high school with one of John Walsh's kids, and he was the host of the show.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And then when I was at college...
Guest:I saw him on campus with his kid taking a tour of the school.
Guest:I just went up to him and I was a TV production and radio production major.
Guest:So I just said hi, introduced myself to him, and he was like, oh, if you want an internship,
Guest:like at the show, because we had to do internships actually that summer.
Guest:Here's my office's number, just call them.
Guest:So I called, I got an internship there when I was in school over the course of the summer after my junior year.
Guest:You were in school in D.C.?
Guest:No, I was in school in North Carolina at a really small school called Lenore Ryan.
Guest:Where in North Carolina?
Guest:In Hickory.
Guest:That's fucking nice there, huh?
Guest:Small, just really small.
Guest:But North Carolina's pretty, man.
Guest:Beautiful.
Marc:It's weird the thing about how- Only school I got into.
Marc:Yeah, it's beautiful.
Marc:But it's weird how your opinions change about the South once you sort of spend time there.
Marc:Carolina's stunning.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:Beautiful, beautiful.
Marc:And I like the people.
Marc:I used to condescend about it.
Marc:You ever had that moment where I did a show in Louisville?
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Marc:Louisville.
Marc:Louisville.
Marc:Yeah.
Yeah.
Marc:And some dude, like in his 60s, he looked just like the kind of guy, be like, what the fuck is that guy doing here?
Marc:He came up to me, he's like, I've never heard of you before, and now it's the greatest show I ever saw.
Marc:And you're just sort of like, ah, he's one of my people then.
Marc:Why do I pigeonhole myself?
Guest:You get surprised a lot when you have your prejudgment about, especially I think about the South.
Guest:Some of those people are totally on board.
Guest:On the same level.
Marc:And if you're vulnerable and you're sweet and you're for real.
Marc:Of course.
Marc:It's only when you bring the condescension to the stage.
Marc:Of course.
Marc:That you're going to get into trouble.
Guest:And then they, you know, a lot of times people that you're, like the ones that never heard of you, they just, and this goes for the South, but for anywhere like that, they think it's cool that you brought these thoughts of yours out and said them.
Guest:They're just like, that was so crazy.
Guest:You said shit like that.
Guest:I've never heard somebody talk out loud like that.
Guest:And you're like, wasn't that fun?
Guest:They're like, that was a lot of fucking fun.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You said all kinds of crazy.
Guest:I don't know where you come up with this stuff.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Really fun.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That's the best fucking moment.
Marc:It is.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's better than somebody who knows you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:In a way it is.
Marc:It is because like that's our job really.
Marc:You know, now we, you know, everything's become so niche marketed.
Marc:You know, we think we want, all we want to do is talk to people that know us, but you know, we're still sort of like, I want to just go, you know, do my job.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And then when those random things are like, I don't know where the fuck you are in the head of yours, but good luck with everything.
Marc:I enjoyed it.
Marc:You seem to be in a little trouble.
Guest:That's the best when they think you've got problems.
Guest:Good luck with everything.
Guest:You're a wild one, man.
Guest:Hey, we hope you stick around, if you know what I mean.
Guest:I've had people that are like, take it easy out there.
Guest:It's a joke.
Marc:What are you talking about, man?
Marc:This is how I'm taking it easy.
Guest:I am taking it easy.
Guest:So you do the internship at the fucking place?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I do the internship.
Guest:I go back to school for a senior year.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:And then I go to Boston for the summer to do real estate.
Guest:Why?
Guest:My friend was doing real estate.
Marc:So you know what the fuck you wanted to do?
Guest:No, not really.
Guest:I mean, I knew I wanted to get into really doing comedy, but I didn't know which avenue.
Guest:It was scary, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, how do you do that?
Guest:So he was like, dude, renting apartments to people in Boston is a fucking cash machine.
Guest:And it's super easy.
Guest:And he's like, all you got to do is come up here, pass the test.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you just show apartments.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You don't have to know anything.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because there's such a demand.
Guest:The students.
Guest:Students.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And there's 61 universities.
Guest:And they're all rich parents.
Guest:And they all have to pay the commission to rent the apartment just for you showing it to them.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I went up there.
Guest:I kept failing the fucking real estate test.
Guest:And then he's like, dude, you really got to pass this test.
Guest:And after the third time I passed the test, I started working.
Guest:I only stayed like eight weeks.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And in those eight weeks, I made, you know, I mean, this is like, this is 2001.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like $12,000 or $13,000 in eight weeks, which I thought was out of college.
Guest:I was like, man...
Guest:The real world is awesome.
Guest:You make tons of money doing this shit.
Guest:Yeah, I thought it was amazing.
Guest:But I was like, I do not want to do it.
Guest:I knew, right?
Guest:So when I got a call from America's Most Wanted, the people that interned for them were like, we'll offer you a job, three-month contract, and then you can re-up after that.
Guest:I went back.
Guest:I worked for them.
Guest:It was totally miserable.
Guest:In D.C.?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Did you like D.C.
Guest:?
Guest:I did.
Guest:I just knew that I didn't want to do that job anymore.
Guest:I mean, I kind of like the area.
Guest:I like bigger cities, I feel.
Marc:Was the job, did you feel dirty?
Guest:No, it wasn't that at all.
Guest:It was just like, they gave me actually much more responsibility as an intern.
Guest:I was essentially producing episodes of one of their spinoff shows as an intern.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like, and they were just getting a free producer.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I was like really doing it.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then here they were like, you know, just research that stuff.
Guest:And like nothing I said counted for it.
Guest:I was like, I was based, like I was almost a PA.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:After doing like real producing.
Guest:It just became a grind.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I was like, this sucks.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So I was surprised at how many people that they were looking for were from Florida in some way.
Marc:It felt right.
Guest:It felt right.
Marc:There are, right?
Marc:A lot.
Guest:There's a lot of Florida.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And even now, like you just, like when I see crazy stories come up, they're like, and then he, he hid a body.
Marc:Who's that genius who made that Twitter account?
Marc:Florida man.
Marc:Have you, are you, I haven't even seen that.
Marc:It's great.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Like, it was really a strike of genius.
Marc:The Twitter is just Florida Man.
Marc:And all he seems to do is pull headlines out of Florida newspapers.
Marc:Like, Florida Man beats friend with axe.
Guest:Oh, Florida Man like that.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:That's great.
Guest:It's great.
Guest:You got to get hip to that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, I used to send links.
Guest:My friend and I would send articles to each other about from our home.
Guest:Like, he was from Baltimore.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I would just be like, here's one from Florida today.
Guest:Just a crazy... He's like, this is crazy, man.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Like, this kid...
Guest:A kid kidnapped his mother?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like, what?
Guest:And then, yeah, and then he fucking ran the car into a school.
Guest:And this story doesn't even make- Yeah, national news.
Guest:No.
Guest:You just had to read a- Yeah.
Marc:I don't know why that is, why that is down there.
Guest:It's not a lot of rules, man.
Guest:It's kind of a law.
Guest:I mean, nothing's totally lawless anymore.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But it attracts people because there's no state income tax.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So that's always alluring to people.
Guest:And it's alluring to-
Guest:It's alluring to the people at the top.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Who make a lot of money.
Guest:They want to protect their money.
Guest:It's alluring to people who got nothing.
Guest:And it's alluring to like, you know, I just did seven years.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And I need a fucking place to go.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know?
Guest:Right.
Guest:And there's a world for you if you want to be on a golf course.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And there's a world for you if you are a fucking scumbag.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you can fit into your own circle.
Guest:There's plenty of you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:There's other people who are not going to be like- There's scummy communities.
Guest:Very scummy communities.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:There's all levels of scumbag.
Guest:Definitely.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So, all right.
Guest:So you quit that gig and then you moved to- I do.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I quit the gig and then I decide I want to move to LA.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I was like, I just want to pursue it.
Guest:And then I come out here and I signed up for the Groundlings.
Guest:You did?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:and I went through the first level, the second level, and then in one of those, I think in the first level, I had comedians in my class who were already doing stand-up who said like, you should try doing stand-up.
Guest:You were doing sketch and improv.
Guest:yeah i mean like i was just doing yeah like improv classes i wasn't even really you know i was just doing the classes and then they're like you would like stand-up yeah and they got me on a on a show yeah introduced me to somebody as if i was they were like he's a stand-up yeah and i was like and you know what i did for my first stand-up show what i invited people and told them i was a stand-up and not that it was my first time ever doing stand-up yeah they're like you do stand-up and i was like yeah yeah let go
Guest:I mean... Was it all right?
Guest:It was okay.
Guest:Here's what made it okay.
Guest:It was really small, like 20 people at a bar.
Guest:Where?
Guest:It was called The Good Bar.
Guest:It's not even there.
Guest:It's always on Sunset.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And they had the list, the order.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I was like seventh.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I was in full fucking panic.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Like just pounding beers.
Guest:The longest hour in the world.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:And the emcee goes up.
Guest:This woman...
Guest:Older woman, I remember I was asking, I was like, I'm seventh, right?
Guest:I'm like, yeah, you're seventh.
Guest:And then I'm just listening to her open the show.
Guest:She goes, all right, your first comic tonight is Tom Sagrara, Sagrada.
Guest:I was like, holy shit.
Guest:That's probably the best thing that could happen.
Guest:It was the best thing that ever happened.
Guest:I ran up there, and as I'm shaking hands with her, I was like, hey, I thought it was seventh.
Guest:And she goes, oh, yeah, you were.
Guest:I was like, thanks.
Yeah.
Guest:And I get up there and just nonsense, whatever I talk about for like seven.
Guest:Sweat through it.
Guest:Sweat through it, but then get done with it.
Guest:Get some laughs, like enough where it's like, they're like, yeah, I guess he's an all right fucking guy.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then, but not like, he's not the worst fucking comic I've ever seen.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then I got off and I was like, holy shit, I did that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then.
Guest:The bug was, the seed was planted.
Guest:It was planted, man.
Guest:That's it.
Guest:And then I, that's actually what led to me not finish, like the next level at the Groundlings was writing lab.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:For like writing sketches and stuff.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And they call you for it.
Guest:And I was like, I can't do it because I was doing like gigs.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then they call you a second time.
Guest:And if you turn down the second time, they just don't call you anymore.
Guest:You were out.
Guest:I was out.
Marc:And that was it.
Marc:And then you started doing what?
Marc:Did you get into the improv?
Marc:How long did it take?
Marc:Because LA is a weird place to start.
Marc:It is weird.
Marc:When people come here, I only know if you guys have genuinely, honestly started here.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Because it's weird.
Marc:You would think it'd be easier to come up, but I don't know if it is.
Marc:Because everybody sort of sees you at every level that you're at.
Guest:I got lucky with the improv.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I got lucky with the improv because I got in early.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I basically was able to, once I got to open, like on a few shows, because we have Hollywood, we also have Brea, Irvine, Ontario, which is kind of that- They need hosts.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And they would just be like, I could just put in like, hey, host, host.
Guest:And then once I got bumped up to feature for them after a couple of years,
Guest:I was able to parlay that into, like, hey, I'll work, I'll feature at any of these other clubs.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I know, like, they're not going to pay you shit.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I'm going to rack up credit card debt buying plane tickets.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was a way to, like, get in at all the clubs.
Guest:Get in and also get, you know, do time.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Do tons of time in front of real audiences.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:All over the country.
Marc:And were there comics, like, bigger guys that, you know, pulled you along?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Definitely.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:Like who?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:uh jay moore yeah rogan yeah um russell peters oh yeah yeah all those guys um i toured open for a number of times did like it was great i mean it's it's a huge boost to get to get full houses of like oh yeah jokes work yeah yeah and then like when you when you when you realize that you're you're performing to people with expectations who are paying and want a good night and then
Guest:You know, just to be around.
Guest:And you've been validated by the... The big headliner.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, so they know that, like, oh, you're supposed to be good.
Guest:Yeah, so let's see it.
Guest:Let's fucking see it.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, those were great experiences.
Guest:All three of those guys took me to places I didn't, you know, I would not have gone to.
Marc:Yeah, and those are solid dudes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And they got big followings.
Guest:Huge.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, Russell took me to London.
Guest:I did the O2 Arena with him.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Which is.
Guest:How many is that?
Guest:16, 15, 16,000.
Guest:Oh my God.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'd never ever done anything like that.
Guest:It's crazy.
Guest:I mean, I don't think I ever will.
Marc:You must have to wait a while for that laugh to roll all the way back.
Guest:I told somebody that the craziest part of that is usually when you do a room like a club or even a small theater and you have a joke that really hits.
Guest:In your mind, one of the things that happens is you gauged
Guest:that's so that's how loud it gets in here right that's you know how to yeah the timing right so it happens innately uh-huh and so i went through a set and then i was like and i had jokes hitting everyone's laughing you know i'm like wow so that's what it sounds like to hear 15 000 people laugh and and like uh like you you must not have gotten all the jokes because it takes longer oh yeah yeah you know literally a 10 minute set it's like seven jokes
Guest:oh yeah yeah you know what I mean yeah you really have to pace it out yeah yeah oh that's fucking phenomenal but then I get off stage in my mind being like I just did pretty good for these 15,000 and then they introduce him
Guest:And they got so much louder for his introduction than anything I ever said.
Guest:And I got goosebumps.
Guest:Hair stood up.
Guest:I've never seen anything like it.
Guest:It was like someone was like, ladies and gentlemen, Rolling Stones.
Guest:That's how loud.
Guest:He was huge.
Guest:He still is pretty huge.
Guest:Still is huge.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:It was crazy.
Guest:And it was, you know, I was like, this is to watch somebody do stand-up.
Marc:Yeah, it's amazing.
Marc:Stand-up.
Marc:And Joe's crowd, like, I don't know.
Marc:Phenomenal.
Marc:I always picture them as like sort of a gladiator event for some reason.
Guest:You know, I think aesthetically it sometimes is that.
Guest:But they're awesome, awesome audiences.
Guest:And they are also crazy as far as like the energy.
Guest:Yeah, oh yeah, well they're jacked.
Guest:They're jacked up and it's super fun to do, to do his crowds.
Guest:I've never had a bad time.
Guest:That's great.
Guest:With his audience.
Guest:That's great.
Marc:That's a good time.
Marc:So let's talk about before we end it, like, do you go to Peru?
Guest:I haven't been now.
Guest:I used to go a lot.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I used to go when I was first cousins and shit.
Guest:Oh yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Tons.
Guest:And, and we used to spend, uh, our, I would spend my summer in Peru living with family there.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:And then they would, cause they have, we have opposite summers.
Guest:They would spend their summers and they would come and,
Guest:live with us.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Growing up.
Guest:So this is like as a basically 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 year old.
Guest:I would go all the time.
Guest:That must have been amazing.
Guest:It was awesome.
Guest:Did you have cousins who were like, you want to do some blow?
Guest:Some fresh blow?
Guest:They weren't really into that.
Guest:I did one time
Guest:This is really stupid.
Guest:We went down there because you can get some real shit.
Guest:You can be in dead shit.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:So there's a lot of Coke that comes out of there.
Guest:But I never got into Coke.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I went down there once and I was like, hey, can we get some weed?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And one of my cousins was like, I guess.
Guest:Like, let me go ask this dude.
Guest:And so he told the guy and he was like, all right, you got to give him 20 bucks.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And we went to like a school campus and we did like a whole fucking...
Guest:you know staged like like a handoff yeah thing where he was like you got 20 bucks and I was like yeah man slipping 20 bucks and he slides me like six ounces and I was like what the fuck is this man I thought I was getting a little bag he's like this is $20 of weed and I was like are you sure like do you want $2,000 right now he was like no it's 20 bucks I was like all right I put it like in a coat and I was like dude like we just we just moved weight like what are we doing
Guest:And we go back to the house and like we roll up a joint and we smoke this joint.
Guest:And I swear to God, like half an hour later, my cousin is like falling off the bed, like sitting there.
Guest:I was like, he's dead.
Guest:I don't know what's wrong with him.
Guest:My friend who I brought with me to Peru was looking at me.
Guest:He's like, what's going on?
Guest:I was like, dude, I hear trains.
Guest:Do you hear trains?
Guest:And he was like, trains?
Guest:And I was like, you don't hear trains coming?
Guest:And now he was like, nah.
Guest:I was like, this isn't weed, man.
Guest:I don't know what we're smoking right now, but it isn't weed.
Guest:And he's like, are you cold?
Guest:And I was like, yeah, I'm real cold.
Guest:And I was like, I've smoked weed a thousand times.
Guest:It doesn't feel like this.
Guest:And he was like, I don't know what it is.
Guest:And I was like, well, it's probably what happens when you get that much shit for $20.
Guest:Somebody just fucking put WD-40 on some leaves.
Guest:We just decided to smoke it.
Guest:And you had no idea what it was.
Guest:No idea what it was, yeah.
Guest:And we smoked the next night, too.
Guest:Of course, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, of course.
Guest:And did the trains come back?
Guest:For him.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Not for me.
Guest:He got trains that night.
Guest:He got trains the next night.
Guest:What'd you get?
Guest:Bats?
Guest:I just got cold again, I think.
Guest:Did you get high, though?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Super high.
Guest:But it was super, super weird, man.
Guest:My family is, you know, because there's also people, like my mom always is like, what are you talking about?
Guest:When I tell her, like, I'm like, you know, you're not white.
Guest:Like, you're...
Guest:You're Latin.
Guest:She's like, I'm white.
Guest:What are you fucking talking about?
Guest:You say that to your mother?
Guest:It's like, you're not white.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, all the time.
Guest:Oh, all the time.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And she's like, I'm white.
Guest:And I'm like, no, you're Latin.
Guest:You're Latina.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:She's like, yeah, but she's like, when we are in Peru, we're white.
Guest:Right.
Guest:She's like, I don't like, like you go to Mexico.
Guest:They don't go, you're Mexican.
Guest:You're, you know, there's white Mexicans.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But those are from Spanish blood.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Which, which like.
Guest:That happened in Peru too?
Guest:Of course.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:So that was a class system of people that were really Peruvian.
Marc:And it still exists.
Guest:Yeah, it does in Mexico, too.
Guest:I mean, Francisco Pizarro was the one who landed and killed Atahualpa, and basically 250, 300 Spaniards killed 80,000 native Peruvians.
Guest:And then fucked the rest.
Guest:Fuck the rest, brought Catholicism and Spanish.
Guest:And then today, still, there's a smaller white population who have the wealth.
Guest:From probably back then.
Guest:A lot of it probably was passed down from that.
Guest:And then they're super racist to the native.
Marc:Indigenous people.
Marc:That's the worst kind of racism is the people who are part of that people that they hate.
Guest:Oh, right.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:It's the worst.
Guest:I know, I know.
Guest:Because they're mixed with them.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You have that blood in you, man.
Guest:Yeah, and it's just the worst.
Guest:They're like, that fucking scum.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And they're super open about it, too, is the other thing about- Yeah, just blatant racism.
Guest:Shameless.
Guest:In Latin America, everyone always talks about American racism.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because I think ours is more salacious in a way.
Marc:But it's also more-
Marc:Like, taboo.
Guest:Publicize.
Guest:And it's also publicized.
Guest:It's wrong.
Guest:Yeah, it's wrong.
Guest:But we ignore the racism of other countries.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:It's their problem.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And it's so blatant.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:That's where genocide comes from.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:We haven't done that here.
Guest:Right.
Marc:But we did, actually.
Marc:Right.
Marc:I wasn't part of it, but the Indians, they're not in the best shape right now.
Guest:Nah, not a few left.
Marc:Yeah, we gave them a little something back.
Marc:Exactly.
Guest:Hit me on 17, buddy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'm trying to help.
Guest:All right, Tom.
Guest:Thanks, man.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:That's it.
Marc:That's our show.
Marc:I hope you enjoyed.
Marc:I'd like to thank the members of yacht.
Marc:Go get that song where they said you could get it.
Marc:Thank you to Tom.
Marc:Thank you for listening.
Marc:Denver tomorrow or yeah, tomorrow night and Saturday, Friday, the 23rd and Saturday, the 24th at the comedy works.
Marc:Go to WTF pod.com to get the app, to get on the mailing list, to get some merch, to leave a comment, to see who's been on the show, to get some just coffee.coop.
Marc:I'm going to put some new posters up there soon.
Marc:A lot of things are going on.
Marc:And as always, hiding a lot of pain.
Marc:Hope you didn't hear it.
Marc:Not complaining.
Marc:This isn't pain related to career stuff.
Marc:It's just a general ache that goes way back.
Marc:So have a good day.
Marc:Boomer lives.
you