Episode 377 - Rob Schneider
Guest:All right, let's do this.
Marc:How are you?
Marc:What the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fucking ears?
Marc:What the fuck nicks?
Marc:What the fuck tuckians?
Marc:What the fuck areistas?
Marc:How's that?
Marc:I am Mark Maron.
Marc:This is WTF.
Marc:We have Rob Schneider today.
Marc:A lot of things are going on.
Marc:How many things are going on?
Marc:I'll be in San Francisco at the Palace of Fine Arts on the 13th.
Marc:And look, I'm going to tip this because it's time to tip it.
Marc:If I don't tip it now, it's not going to get tipped.
Marc:And those of you who checked out of this opening of this monologue because of whatever are not going to know those people that live in New Jersey, New York City, all its boroughs.
Marc:I'm doing a secret show.
Marc:Yeah, you heard me right.
Marc:Secret show, a free secret show, 10 o'clock the 14th.
Marc:That's Sunday, 10 o'clock in the evening at Union Hall in Brooklyn.
Marc:All right?
Marc:It's out there.
Marc:I'm putting that out there.
Marc:And then on the 15th, I will be taping my special, Les Pousins Rouge, Les Pousins Rouge, Les Pousins, whatever.
Marc:It's the old basement of the old village gate.
Marc:Can't wait.
Marc:A little nervous.
Okay.
Marc:Only because I want to be in the zone, man.
Marc:I want to be in the zone for my special, but not the zone where I know all my material.
Marc:Fuck that zone.
Marc:Let's wing it, man.
Marc:Huh?
Marc:Why not do a little of that?
Marc:Let's go old school.
Marc:Let's go 95 HBO, too much Luna, a little too much weed style special.
Marc:What's going to happen?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I was in Indianapolis with my friend Ryan Singer featuring me.
Marc:Ryan featured me.
Marc:Ryan is here.
Marc:Ryan came over to eat sausage.
Marc:Oh, that doesn't sound right.
Marc:I mean, I made Italian sausage.
Marc:He came over because I owed him some money, and I made him a sausage.
Marc:nice to see you ryan we just had a nice time in indianapolis we did five shows they were interesting they were exciting how are you i'm doing great doing great that was a real fun weekend now what let's i mean let's just get caught up briefly uh what's your did you go to the mountain today yeah i did go to the mountain what does that mean i had to decompress i had to reconnect but you're always texting me about the mountain what is this mountain someday i'm gonna get you on that mountain
Guest:But what is your relationship with the mountain?
Guest:My relationship is the mountain.
Guest:The mountain makes everything better.
Guest:You get all clustered in your brain.
Guest:Clustered or cluttered?
Guest:Both.
Guest:You get cluster cluttered?
Guest:I get cluster cluttered in my brain.
Guest:I have to go to the mountain.
Guest:I have to connect with nature.
Guest:I have to take some deep breaths.
Guest:I have to clear it all, all the garbage out of my house.
Marc:What are you running away from?
Marc:What is on your phone?
Guest:What is happening with you?
Guest:I got...
Guest:An Instagram account that I dedicated only to my dick.
Guest:It's a hidden account.
Guest:I have deleted it.
Guest:But this is serious.
Guest:I'm addicted to sending dick pics.
Marc:But don't you think that at some point perhaps you run for office or you become a big comedy star?
Guest:Well, I figure if I flood the market, then it won't be a big deal.
Marc:But who do you send dick pics to?
Guest:Strangers from Craigslist.
Marc:You go on Craigslist and say, what's your number?
Marc:I got a picture for you.
Guest:Well, it's like people who are looking for hookups.
Guest:They're all bots.
Guest:They're all bots.
Guest:So you know it's not really going anywhere.
Guest:So you're sending your dick to robots.
Guest:I'm trying to stop.
Guest:I haven't done it in a few days.
Marc:So you don't even care where the dick pic goes?
Guest:No, it doesn't matter.
Marc:You just want to send it out into the world.
Marc:What is the feeling like when you release a dick pic?
Guest:It feels good.
Guest:Well, people say, well, you know, when you send a dick pic to a woman, she's going to show it to her friends.
Guest:It's like, yeah, that's the point.
Guest:Are you that proud of your penis?
Guest:No, there's nothing to be that proud of.
Guest:I think it's part of this exhibitionism past I used to have when I was younger.
Guest:So it's kind of starting to bite me in the ass a lot lately.
Guest:Well, how's comedy going?
Guest:Comedy's going great.
Marc:I mean, I thought you were funny, man.
Marc:We had a good time, right?
Guest:Yeah, that special's going to be really badass.
Guest:If you're in New York, you need to go see it.
Marc:but that that's sold out but perhaps they go to the the secret show on sunday night at the union hall sunday the uh what did i say the 14th that sounds right uh-huh yeah yeah the 14th at 10 p.m for free uh i don't know if i'll do the special but i'll do something i gotta stay engaged man
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Do you know what I mean?
Guest:You were engaged this weekend.
Guest:Like, there was a lot of just Riff City, USA.
Guest:It was really fun.
Marc:I was fucking going out there, dude.
Guest:I mean, that was doing- Mark did an old act out where, like, he pretended that the waiter came up and threw a glass of soda on him.
Guest:Soda at me, yeah.
Guest:And then it was a five-minute piece about how you would have reacted to that and what would have happened to the show after that.
Marc:And you told me that the manager of the club came in and thought there was a problem?
Guest:Yeah, she thought, she walked in mid-piece and thought that somebody really had fucked with you in some big way, and she was freaking out in the back of the room, like,
Guest:going on who did what to mark and the manager's like no no listen no no it's fine he's just doing a bit she's like what happened did someone throw something yeah what's happening he's like no he's just pretending like you know because i guess the last time you were there yeah it wasn't that great of a like as far as like there might have been some surly moments between you and her i guess i don't know it was all right i don't remember it was a long time but i you know thank you it was we had a good time and yeah and this is well thank you ryan thank you for chiming in yeah i appreciate it good luck with the dick pic thing
Guest:Yeah, well, we're done with that.
Guest:We're done with the dick pic thing.
Marc:We're over there at Indy, and I did Bob and Tom.
Marc:You do Bob and Tom.
Marc:Bob and Tom, of course, is an institution.
Marc:It's a morning radio show that was at one time vital and relevant and exciting and full of fun, and now it's sort of...
Marc:It's not it's not that it's bad, but they've been doing it a long time.
Marc:And, you know, it's weird that it seems like a different world.
Marc:I have a tremendous amount of respect for for morning radio crews.
Marc:And they were certainly one of the best.
Marc:And now radio is sort of I know radio is changing because I know that I do advertisements that used to be on radio.
Marc:And now they're doing podcasts and some of these cats.
Marc:You know, I don't want to scare anybody.
Marc:I want people to keep their jobs.
Marc:But I'll tell you something.
Marc:There was a guy over there that he's on the Bob and Tom show.
Marc:He's sort of the sidekick sports guy.
Marc:And I've been doing Bob and Tom for years, not very often.
Marc:But when I'm in the area, I do it.
Marc:And Chick McGee, who is on the show, very funny guy, always felt a connection to this guy, always felt a connection to Chick.
Marc:I always got a kick out of him.
Marc:And I knew somewhere in my heart that we were kindred spirits.
Marc:And now Chick is doing a podcast called Off the Air with Chick McGee.
Marc:You can get that at chickmcgee.com.
Marc:And I went on this podcast not knowing that Chick.
Marc:Not only did I not know that Chick had a co-host, but I didn't know that that co-host, Jessica, I believe her name is, was someone he was in a relationship with.
Marc:And they are now freshly out of the relationship.
Marc:And I had no idea about any of this.
Marc:And I had no idea what I was brought in to do.
Marc:I mean, I knew I was going to be Marc Maron, but I didn't know that that I would become some sort of, you know, kind of a bridge to their understanding of their relationship by sharing.
Marc:Look, all I'm saying is that this episode was as loaded emotionally as any episode I've ever done on my show.
Marc:But it wasn't just me and it wasn't just a guest.
Marc:It was it was I was in the middle.
Marc:of a relationship that had difficulty and had fallen apart.
Marc:And I had no idea until I was in it.
Marc:And I can't wait to listen to it because it was one of the most emotional things I dealt with on the air.
Marc:I almost started crying.
Marc:So I think you can pick that up.
Marc:You can get it on iTunes, Off the Air with Chick McGee, or you go to chickmcgee.com.
Marc:That should be up today.
Marc:So I'm curious to hear how that went.
Marc:But it was heavy, man.
Marc:I mean, I really didn't know that was going to happen.
Guest:And I told you about it.
Guest:Yeah, and Chick came to the show Saturday night, and he was talking about in the green room.
Guest:And you could tell in his face he had been through some shit that day.
Guest:Yeah, it was something, man.
Marc:I also want to say proudly that WTF is now in the Library of Congress.
Marc:Dig that.
Marc:I got a guy over there who's a fan, and he's been very interested in comedy, and we've had some conversations about that.
Marc:My four CDs are in the Library of Congress, but he asked for the first 100 on MP3 DVD, that one that is available still at WTFPod.com, and now we are officially, WTF is officially announced
Marc:in the Library of Congress cataloged the first 100 episodes, and I'm very proud of that.
Marc:It's posterity.
Marc:We've been cataloged and archived in the Library of fucking Congress.
Marc:For aliens in the future.
Marc:Huh?
Marc:Aliens in the future will.
Marc:Yeah, I always wonder about that whole thing when people go, well, they're going to find this stuff, and what are they going to think?
Marc:We'll be lucky if there's anything here.
Marc:Let alone speculate about aliens.
Marc:I think it's just going to be people going through things, looking for food, and burning things that will burn.
Marc:Unfortunately, it's not going to be aliens.
Marc:It's going to be morons.
Guest:You don't think they'll have MP3 players as they're scavenging?
Marc:No, it's all going to start from the beginning again.
Marc:It's going to be a new slate.
Marc:If the aliens are getting anything from the Library of Congress, I would like to think that they are advanced enough to pick up what I'm doing on iTunes.
Marc:I have to assume that they're advanced enough to be aliens that they have iTunes.
Marc:They have access to whatever satellite technology we have very easily.
Marc:I don't know what their tech support is or how far along they are with everything, but I have to assume that they've heard my show.
Marc:So let's get to the guest.
Marc:Rob Schneider came in and burned off a little steam and talked to me for about an hour.
Marc:I always liked Rob, and I used to remember his stand-up, and it was a pleasure talking to him.
Marc:So let's go now.
Marc:To me and Rob Schneider, thanks for hanging out, Ryan.
Marc:Thanks for having me, Mike.
Guest:All right, Rob Schneider.
Guest:Don't say anything else.
Guest:Rob Schneider now.
Guest:the popular movie.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He knocks it off, you know, like, instead of Madagascar, it's called Jungle.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, and instead of, you know, emo or whatever, it's called The Reef, you know, that kind of crap, you know, shark bait or shark bite, you know, whatever's the thing, it's like, instead of like I say, just, you know, snow, you know, but, you know, they make a living and I do like eight voices, you know, it just rapes me for...
Marc:you know different voices your buddy does uh animation knockoffs is that what you're saying yeah yeah it's a korean company you know they just like you know i'm serious yeah my friend mark to pay he's actually a really talented director it's sort of like those uh you know when you buy a pinata at one of these mexican bodega party shops it's not quite it's not quite spongebob
Guest:no it's but you know what's funny though it's like yeah as the guys who are kind of uh uh certain corporations are like nazis like you know like you would imagine yeah walt disney sure i mean i went into a cake shop and they say oh yeah the disney people are in your cake shop yeah because you know you could design a mickey whatever and if you if they say oh yeah can you make a mickey for us and if you don't you know call the company and give them a thing they got guys out there looking and
Marc:they got stooges or disney stooges going to cake shops yeah hold on can you make that you know and i want a penis cake but also can you make a mickey penis cake and then they go then they got like if you don't so they got to say like wait a minute is this from are you from walt disney or no it's not called mickey mouse it's called dicky mouse yeah or
Guest:something you have to change it did they tell them to pull the cake out of the case and then smash them a lesson they they find them or threaten to sue them and then it's you know for people threat of a lawsuit or a lawsuit is a fine because you have to pay and you have to get a lawyer and blah blah blah yeah and so that's their way but actually you know what's funny is that mickey yeah was supposed to be um the public domain yeah and then they filed a uh a thing with the court saying this steamboat willie was for everybody
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, pretty much.
Guest:It's only 70 years.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it was supposed to run out about 12 years ago.
Guest:And then they got some extension because they're Disney.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And speaking of which, they just, and so they don't have to, I mean, but in a few years, you can get, even they will have to give up on owning Disney, owning Mickey.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It runs out.
Guest:I mean, it does.
Guest:It's public domain.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:They got an extension because they're Disney.
Guest:You know, I don't even know you can get an extension.
Marc:But, I mean, wasn't it a Disney product?
Marc:Didn't Walt create Steamboat Willie?
Guest:Yeah, but it doesn't matter, though.
Guest:Once it's become public domain, that's it.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah, you know, I mean, Mark Maron, when you, after your relatives at 70-something years, you know, your podcast, you tell them you're not going to... It just goes back to the people.
Guest:It just, yes, that's where... Well, that's the idea of it, should be.
Guest:Well, yeah, I'm making such a fortune on my likeness now.
Marc:Ha, ha, ha.
Guest:Well, it's nice to know that the people will finally get you.
Marc:If I find a cake out there that looks like me and the shirt is wrong, I throw a shit fit, man.
Marc:I've got lawyers involved.
Guest:You motherfuckers can't make Marc Maron cakes.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:And then you've got to get them.
Guest:You've got to get your Marc Maron stooges around there.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:You've got to have stooges.
Guest:You should probably have your Marc Maron stooges podcast stooges for people taking this forum.
Guest:Well, there's a couple they'd have to put out of business.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:There's a couple.
Guest:When were you in San Francisco doing stand-up?
Marc:Because I was there before you, obviously, because I don't remember you there.
Marc:No, you were there before me.
Marc:I'm not sure we've ever met, but we have common friends or common acquaintances.
Marc:Some of your acquaintances don't necessarily like me, but I was there.
Marc:I came in second in the competition, I think, 93, maybe.
Marc:I was there.
Marc:Is that possible?
Marc:I was there in 80.
Guest:Okay, the last one that I did in those dumb competitions was 87.
Guest:I was there like 92 through 94.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Well, that was like way past me.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, I remember seeing you on TV.
Marc:I knew you came from San Francisco.
Marc:I did my time on the Alex Bennett show when it was just him talking about his gas.
Guest:He did, after a while, only talk about, like, the web and, like, you know, what's the internet.
Guest:And also, like, hey, do you feel sick?
Guest:I feel sick.
Guest:Does anyone feel a little clammy?
Guest:You know, I will say that Alex, I like Alex.
Marc:Sure.
Guest:But he was, like, nuts for a while there.
Guest:Like, literally, the last Arbitron ratings that they did for him in San Francisco, there was zero listeners.
Guest:There was no one.
Marc:No one.
Marc:The in-house studio audience just became one guy who sold pot.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:and a dude wearing a star trek uniform but that's how great the modern media is now mark is that you can do it in your garage i think he's on serious he's on serious you talk to him still yeah i'll do his shows you know once in a while and it probably sounds the same right yeah he's doing good whatever you know drugs he says he's got a good mix whatever he's on now
Marc:By the time I got there, his relevance had diminished, and it was just- Give him credit, though.
Guest:He was huge, though.
Guest:For a while, he was a kingmaker, a comedy kingmaker.
Marc:I know, but I miss that.
Guest:I was there, like, I mean, literally, like, Bob Goldthwait was selling out, like, more than just clubs.
Guest:I mean, he was like an event, and the Goldthwait, and that was single-handedly from the Alex Bennett show.
Guest:Alex Bennett was-
Guest:You know, he used to do these morning things, and he would pack out a club in the morning.
Guest:Yeah, I'd do it.
Guest:I'd do it.
Marc:I think he still did those.
Marc:He'd go do the Cobbs, and then Greg Proofs would get you high, and then you wouldn't be able to talk.
Marc:Right, right.
Marc:And he'd just sit there laughing at you because you were too stupid to even function on his dump pot.
Marc:I was never one of those baked comedians.
Marc:I was never one of those guys.
Marc:I wasn't either.
Marc:That was the problem.
Marc:Like, you know, Greg Proofs was like, hey, you want to hang?
Marc:And I'm like, all right.
Marc:And then I remember one time he did that to me at a live event at Cobbs, and I literally was so paralyzed with fear and paranoia that I couldn't function.
Guest:well the weird thing about it is i'll smoke once in a while because my wife likes to smoke but i don't like like like to smoke i just do it at a you know defensively to be like you know because all right i'll do it yeah yeah i don't want to be rude you know or like you don't want to be like a square guy yeah but like you know the couple times you smoked when i was on saturday night live there was uh you know willie nelson okay well okay with willie nelson you gotta smoke with willie nelson small room i'll smoke with him he seems like a nice guy how'd that go
Guest:It was, you know what, he has a surprisingly, not surprisingly, mellow weed.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like a very mellow high.
Guest:It wasn't like, you know, spacey crazy.
Guest:But then I was on stage and I was, you know, one of those things, you know, I was promoting movies.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I kind of got lost in the system.
Guest:The first time I got kicked out of the studio system, I was depressed when Disney kicked me off.
Guest:And the second time I got kicked out.
Marc:When did that happen?
Guest:God, it was like after the hot chick didn't open or whatever, you know.
Guest:It's a good movie, but it wasn't, we opened up against Star Trek.
Guest:It was a bad idea.
Guest:No, I know.
Guest:That was my own hubris, my own idiocy.
Guest:Like, no, I'll go up against Star Trek.
Guest:What the hell?
Guest:Come on.
Guest:I'm playing a girl.
Guest:What could go wrong?
Marc:Me playing a girl can take on the Enterprise.
Guest:So that crashed and burned horribly.
Guest:I remember there was a great phone call on Monday after that movie tanked.
Guest:I got a phone call from Nina Jacobson, the then president who was then fired about a year later.
Guest:From Disney.
Guest:From Disney.
Guest:Nina Jacobson called up and said,
Guest:I just want you, Rob, we just want you to know that this does not affect how we feel about you as a movie star, which means this affects how we feel about you as a movie star.
Guest:And that was it.
Guest:I was off the lot.
Guest:In six weeks, I was gone.
Marc:Really?
Marc:You had to pack up your bungalow and leave?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:I had to pack up my eight boxes.
Guest:I actually put my wine cabinet over there.
Guest:I was such an idiot.
Guest:I'm going to be here for a while.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Really?
Guest:So anyway, you know, I'm just an idiot having a wine cabinet.
Marc:You're an idiot.
Marc:What did you have invested in that?
Marc:You wrote and directed it or was it just a star vehicle?
Marc:Well, yeah.
Guest:I mean, I had an actual deal with Disney there because, you know, Deuce Bigelow made $350 million.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So they're like, this is our guy.
Marc:He's the golden clown.
Guest:He's a guy until he bombs.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:We're going to hang on to this guy.
Guest:So how does this lead to pot?
Guest:So what happened was, and then by the time I got kicked off, then I went to Sony, and then I got kicked off their lot.
Guest:That was it.
Guest:What movie was that?
Marc:I was relieved.
Guest:Which movie was that?
Guest:Second Deuce Bigelow.
Guest:Deuce Bigelow 2, The Abortion.
Guest:And that's when I took all the studio notes.
Guest:I didn't used to take all of them before.
Guest:But anyway, so I'm on stage promoting a movie that I don't like.
Guest:You end up being at the Super Bowl.
Guest:And when we were kids, if we were at the Super Bowl, we would have like, you know,
Guest:I was a Joe Montana.
Guest:I'm a San Francisco guy.
Guest:I mean, that Super Bowl was unattainable.
Guest:It wasn't something that I couldn't even get.
Guest:Maybe I never went to one game my entire childhood.
Guest:It was just not attainable for me.
Guest:I'm not a poor kid.
Guest:I came from a middle-class family.
Guest:It was just not something we didn't spend money and want to get in that traffic and blah, blah, blah.
Guest:It just wasn't attainable for us.
Guest:So anyway, so here I am.
Guest:I'm depressed about my movie not doing good.
Guest:I'm at the Super Bowl.
Guest:I'm promoting this damn thing.
Guest:And then the next thing I know, yeah, I'm on stage and then Snoop Dogg is like passing out.
Guest:It was a joint and I thought it was a joint.
Guest:And the next thing I know, it's more like a tube.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it's like a brown tube that's on fire.
Guest:And I looked at it.
Guest:And I don't know.
Guest:And I go, at first I thought it was a cigar.
Guest:At first I thought it was a joint because I know he smoked.
Guest:But it was just this puff of smoke coming out.
Guest:And all of a sudden this thing was like it's a peace pipe.
Guest:It's a doggy, you know, Snoop Dogg peace pipe.
Guest:And then it was this.
Guest:And it's what I learned later.
Guest:It's a spliff.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, sure.
Guest:Which is like a, you know, this is a real serious joint.
Guest:And so I said, well, I'm not going to be rude.
Guest:I'm on stage.
Guest:You know, he's doing his thing and he's bad.
Guest:I don't know what the hell I was doing on stage.
Guest:So I get a hit of this spliff.
Guest:And I'm telling you, I was paralyzed for 45 minutes.
Guest:I couldn't move.
Guest:I couldn't.
Guest:I was just stood on stage and he kind of like was looking at me.
Guest:And I didn't even feel like I could move or bounce to the beat or anything.
Guest:I was just, you know, it's one of those things.
Guest:It was just before cell phone cameras, you're able to because a thousand people would have had this.
Guest:This wasn't the halftime show, was it?
Guest:No.
Guest:This is like one of those shitty parties the night before where people show up and whatever.
Guest:But this is, thank God, it was before cell phone cameras.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Where people could videotape you.
Guest:This would be on there forever.
Guest:You've just been paralyzed with fear.
Guest:Yeah, and then I couldn't move and I felt like my body was bad.
Guest:And then, you know, your knees start to lock up and you feel like, you know what?
Guest:And then, like, I got to get out of here.
Guest:Please tell me Snoop was laughing at you.
Guest:After a while, Snoop, he looked over and then, but he kind of was concerned.
Guest:And then he realized, yeah, that was some powerful shit.
Guest:That was the shit I gave him.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So you were like 12 when you started stand-up?
Guest:I was about 15 when I realized there was a comedy club in San Francisco.
Guest:Which one?
Guest:The Holy City Zoo.
Guest:Right, the classic.
Guest:And so then I went there.
Guest:And who'd
Guest:you see first like right away steve pearl oh who was on stage it's a small boy here i think i'll use him as a phone you know what there was who was the guy billy jay was a comedian yeah kevin meanie yep um steven kravitz was a great guy kravitz how are you yeah yeah yeah steve you know steve pearl i hear they're coming out with a turbo cult that's all i need is a shitty car that goes really fucking fast
Guest:Hey, and then there is, you know, the first comedian I saw, though, was Gonzo.
Guest:Dr. Gonzo.
Guest:Yeah, he's a good guy.
Guest:John Means, we got back in touch.
Guest:He's out in Illinois.
Marc:Like he's doing a thing, right?
Marc:He's got a good thing going.
Marc:Someone was just talking to me about it.
Marc:He's got a theater out there out in the middle of- Bar and restaurant and theater kind of thing.
Guest:Yeah, and it's doing well, and he's a great guy.
Guest:He was a musical comic.
Guest:Yeah, he's one of those guys, but the musical comic you respected.
Guest:Right.
Guest:He was one of those guys, because most of the music... He had integrity.
Guest:Song parodies is just... On Saturday Night Live, the lowest form of comedy was a shit joke or a celebrity screaming.
Guest:Or...
Guest:A celebrity or somebody screaming or a shit joke.
Guest:And actually, Phil Hartman in 1992 was able to combine a Rob Smigel joke to make the trifecta of hackiness.
Guest:A celebrity screaming a shit joke, which was like doing a Frank Sinatra impersonal.
Guest:I got chunks of guys like you in my stool.
Guest:So there's a celebrity yelling a shit joke right there.
Guest:This was an intentional challenge that he took.
Guest:Yeah, but Rob Smeichel is one of those.
Guest:He's a genius.
Guest:Oh, no, absolutely.
Guest:But could not differentiate between his stuff that was just good and stuff that was brilliant.
Guest:He loved it all.
Marc:Okay, so it's Billy Jay, Dr. Gonzo, Kevin Meaney.
Marc:Did you know Stephen Pearl?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah, Stephen.
Marc:He was sort of a wizard.
Guest:Kravitz and Warren Thomas.
Guest:Warren Thomas.
Guest:Warren Thomas, yeah, yeah.
Guest:He was a lovely guy.
Guest:I could say Warren was much, much, much funnier offstage than onstage.
Marc:Yeah, because he just had no boundaries and you just immediately became a sponge for his humor.
Guest:Yeah, but I remember like, but he also had some demons, obviously.
Guest:Oh yeah.
Guest:But I remember hanging out with him and he was doing all kinds of stuff.
Guest:We would stay up till seven o'clock in the morning.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And he was doing blow and it was just, but he would still be one of those guys who was like funny, not like paranoid.
Guest:He would just make jokes.
Guest:We're watching TV, constantly making jokes on everything.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And after a while, you can't laugh anymore.
Guest:All I was able to do was just go, eh.
Guest:I was just like, eh.
Guest:Just vocalize it.
Guest:Yes, that's a joke.
Guest:I recognize it.
Guest:Yeah, he was fast.
Guest:He was so fast.
Guest:Yeah, but never disciplined enough to be on stage to where he could craft and act and build on it.
Guest:And that's what you need to do to be successful.
Guest:He'd have brilliant sets sometimes.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But it was just, he would go up and down.
Guest:But he wasn't able to, like, to craft something in a way that, like, you know, which is what you have to do.
Marc:I don't think he liked repeating things.
Marc:Like, he was one of those guys where he's like, I don't want to do my act.
Marc:And then, like, by default, he'd end up doing it.
Marc:But it always seemed like he wasn't planned.
Marc:Like, he'd have good bits.
Marc:Well, you know, what he had was an incredible likability.
Marc:But even that, though, is only going to get you so far.
Marc:And it was also a riff style.
Marc:You know, there was that kind of, like, Warren Thomas, Steve Pearl, Robin Williams, and then Craig.
Guest:Great Proops, Matrix.
Guest:Robin was the reason we had a scene at the time, because audiences were showing up to see him, and more times than not, they would, because he was one of those guys who just couldn't help it, and he's dying to get on stage.
Guest:He's on stage right now somewhere, no matter where he is.
Marc:Yeah, I know.
Guest:As a matter of fact, I had not performed up in San Francisco, and I performed up there.
Guest:The Throckmorton?
Marc:Did you go to the Throckmorton?
Guest:It was Mark Pitta's place.
Marc:Yeah, Throckmorton Theater.
Guest:Okay, yeah.
Guest:That is like a senior center with seats.
Guest:Yeah, you go there.
Guest:Backstage and in the audience.
Guest:And I saw what was left of Mark Saul backstage.
Marc:He's sitting there saying, like, I invented everything.
Guest:I said that once.
Guest:But it was still great to see him.
Guest:But, you know, it's funny.
Guest:He shows up, but then he doesn't leave the back room.
Guest:He doesn't go see the show.
Marc:That's a perfect comic.
Marc:That's a comic.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I've asked him to interview.
Marc:He's got some weird beef with me or something.
Marc:I think he's one of those guys that thinks that he invented writing and paper.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But there's some of the guys.
Guest:One thing I've noticed, Mark.
Guest:Doug Ferrari's back around.
Guest:Is he really?
Guest:Oh, my gosh.
Guest:Well, Doug Ferrari's another guy who used to murder.
Guest:And I go, how is this guy?
Guest:I remember.
Guest:I swear to God.
Guest:Doug Ferrari is a guy who used to sing song parodies for people out there.
Guest:He was murdering so hard.
Guest:And I brought a girl who was with me at the time.
Guest:I was a kid.
Guest:a hound you know this girl was a dancer and she was just nuts but i was just totally into her she was laughing so hard at him i broke up with her i swear to god i said that's it i can't i don't care how hot this when did you first go on stage no so i was 15 i walked to the uh you know i had my dad it was this lovely guy marvin a nice jewish guy from san francisco
Guest:uh, Marvin Schneider.
Guest:And he, uh, and I said, dad, he's passed away.
Guest:Uh, uh, and, um, so I said, you know, Hey dad, there's a club, uh, the Holy city zoo.
Guest:And then, and I said, they, on Monday nights, did I let anybody go up there?
Guest:And he said, let's go.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So it was it.
Guest:And I had a trombone as I told you, you know, play trombone between jokes.
Guest:You did.
Guest:And it was just weird, you know, cause when you're a kid up there, did you have a
Guest:trombone yeah and so when you're a kid you know it's like it's a you have to be the audience has to be in a in like you know how it was how baked i was with snoop there was a kind of there was an ambiance happening there was like a you have to have that so the audience can be relaxed and they can settle into you there's like a mood that has to happen when you see a kid up there your audience just stiffens up and go no and then you know i don't know what the hell to talk about that's going to be relatable to these people you know they're not going to laugh at my science teacher jokes
Guest:because i thought hey i could do it between between jokes but it was an earnest thing between jokes and i swear to god that's what i did i only did it one time and i realized the the waste of this but then i i remember thinking it must have been as big as you were the fucking horn but here's the best part of it you know then i started going anytime i was 15 i had a car yeah you know because i was working i was like i worked for chang and chow 76 in san francisco yeah john chang and patrick chow they had a 70 76 station
Guest:76 days.
Guest:What were you doing?
Guest:No, I was pumping gas because that was when they used to pay cash a lot of times, you know, and I was the only guy.
Guest:I didn't steal from them, so they loved me.
Guest:They used to tell me, he said, you know, I said, oh, Rob, why don't you, why do you want to finish school for?
Guest:You work here full time.
Guest:No.
Guest:No, you work here full time.
Guest:No, no, quit that school stuff.
Guest:No, you work here.
Guest:That's it.
Guest:No, no more.
Guest:And I went, you know, but I kind of like, I want to do other things.
Guest:No, why do other things?
Guest:No, I can't.
Guest:Because they knew that they could add the bill and I was, it was even, you know, when I was working.
Guest:So, no,
Guest:you'll stay here walk full time that's it and they just you know they i wanted to do other things but they were they were lovely people but they also the only time that they you know that i you know i never i'm just one of those things i just will not steal i just have that thing about that you know uh i mean i'll take a pen you know pens i got i will sure i'll steal your fucking pen before the end of the day but the uh
Guest:So anyway, the only thing that, so people, they would come in, and the only bad thing I ever did was they would make me change brakes.
Guest:Like, you know, if somebody came in, you just needed to adjust it.
Guest:No, no, change it.
Guest:And I go, but it looks fine.
Guest:No, no, no, no.
Guest:They want a new brake, you give them a new brake.
Guest:You know, you got the customer all the way right.
Guest:So you knew how to change brakes?
Guest:I can fix anything on a Volkswagen, because that's what I had.
Guest:So anyway, I started being able to get around, and I was able to get to that club when I was 16, especially 16, hitting that club.
Guest:And I remember the club owner, I forget the guy's name who was running the place.
Guest:samuels somebody oh don't you mean jim samuels well he was the comic he was like the guy who won the comedy competition in 82 he was a super nice guy but he didn't own the club he didn't own the club but he basically but that was he was such a great guy yeah i mean that's why it's like you know when i grew up you know you know gay people were like uh you know the my heroes because there were such lovely people and jim was one of them was just this lovely lovely great generous comedian anyway so and san francisco was really the big it was like celebrated in san francisco
Guest:I mean, it was, well, you know, we also had like the first openly gay, you know, city council.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:You know, Harvey Malkin.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And I was in school when he was killed.
Marc:You remember that day?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That was just like, I just remember because being in class and I just heard like, I didn't, I heard that the mayor got killed, but I didn't know that it was also Harvey Malkin got killed.
Guest:And I remember.
Marc:That must have been crazy days.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, that was just, you know, one of the weird things because it's not like today at school shooting.
Guest:It's just like, you know, what else is on the news?
Guest:It's like page four.
Guest:Right.
Guest:This was, yeah, it didn't happen.
Marc:That kind of shit just didn't happen.
Guest:Yeah, so that was really a trippy, bizarre thing.
Guest:And then, you know, because it was the beginning of, you know, for, you know, I mean, if you take like, you know, if you take gay and put negro and switch words, it's the same fight as it was in the 60s.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know, you know, it's for just equality and rights and stuff.
Guest:So but being there.
Guest:So that really made San Francisco an interesting, great place, I thought.
Guest:And so, you know, when I was so I was 16 and I don't remember.
Guest:So I went to the club and the guy said, you can perform and you could be on stage.
Guest:You're underage.
Guest:You can't have liquor there.
Guest:So you have to get out of here.
Guest:Only can only perform.
Guest:You got to wait outside.
Guest:You can't hang out in the club.
Guest:So you're standing outside.
Guest:So I'm standing outside and then I go on stage and I did my five minutes.
Guest:And this time I've been done it for a few times.
Guest:Just like my third or fourth time.
Guest:And then after I perform, I got a couple laughs.
Guest:And then Billy Jay, of course, is comedian.
Guest:what are you doing come back here kid come sit in the back you can watch in the back so okay come sit in the back anyway so I'm watching for a bit the guy sees me grabs me by the nape of the neck and lifts me my toes dragging out of the club and dumps me onto the park hey what did I tell you kid I know but Billy Joe are you going to listen to me or him you know so anyway there was a couple jokes he used to do that were that I remember pretty well that were hilarious you know why don't you oh the Rolling Stones joke well why don't you go down there and sit in with the band that joke oh yeah yeah that was like great joke
Guest:Well, thank you.
Guest:With your clarinet?
Guest:Yeah, gosh, that's funny.
Guest:You know, why don't you just take your clarinet, go sit with the band, sit in with the band.
Guest:You know, my dad's idea of like, you know, just go and join in there, you know.
Guest:I'm sure they just show up.
Guest:Well, because my dad played jazz music in the 40s.
Marc:What was his instrument?
Guest:He played everything.
Guest:He played any woodwind instrument that he can, you know, figure out the piano whenever.
Guest:He played about 17 instruments, you know.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:And he could play any woodwind instrument, sax or whatever.
Guest:So when a jazz band, when a band would show up, he'd bring his clarinet and say he's with the band and sneak in.
Guest:So my dad was like, when the Stones were in town, hey, just bring your clarinet and see if you can sneak in and say, hey, I'm with the band.
Guest:Yeah, you know, I'm the clarinet player.
Guest:I'm playing the bassoons.
Guest:You know, come on, sticky fingers, come on.
Guest:I'm the clarinet, I'm the guy to clarinet.
Yeah.
Guest:Satisfaction, that's me.
Guest:That's the great thing about having parents who are older.
Guest:Hopefully, my daughter will feel the same way.
Guest:How old were they when they had you?
Guest:I was the last one.
Guest:I was the accident.
Guest:My parents were mid-30s.
Guest:How many brothers and sisters did you have?
Guest:I got two brothers and three sisters.
Guest:You just had a kid.
Marc:I just had a kid.
Marc:You're my age.
Marc:You're a month older than me, I think.
Marc:You're 49?
Marc:49, baby.
Marc:Because I got a girl now wants a kid.
Marc:How old's your girl?
Guest:Well, my wife's 20 years younger than me, which is great.
Guest:Yeah, that's the same with me, man.
Guest:She still wants to do things, leave the house, have friends, you know.
Guest:How's that going?
Guest:Learn how to read, all this stupid shit that's unnecessary.
Guest:No, I said, I'll read it to you, honey.
Guest:Well, how's it going?
Guest:It's going.
Guest:Except that, you know, she's got a lot more energy.
Guest:And here's the deal.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Part of the machismo for being a guy is like, you know, I can't admit when I'm tired, you know?
Guest:Right.
Guest:It's like, you know, when you're in your 20s, the difference of going out with the girl, hey, you know, I want to throw you down and...
Guest:take you and then you know blah blah blah yeah sure sure in your 40s is like well let me give a couple more hours before this thing kicks in baby you know yeah yeah but i know what i want and also you become more patient and then it's also it's a weird thing that happens because my wife is really bright girl but she's she talks about like you're having andropause andropause yeah yeah well supposedly it's the same thing like menopause except andropause is like that it's like you know it's just bullshit she read something
Guest:Yeah, but it's this bullshit thing where everything in America has to be a disease.
Guest:By the way, did you notice that 65% of every commercial on TV right now is a fucking drug commercial?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's a drug commercial because it was a drugged out country.
Marc:You know, it's so funny.
Marc:And also, or procedural commercials with weird vaginal, there's lube commercials now, there's vibrator commercials now.
Marc:But most of it's drugs.
Marc:You watch the news.
Guest:Watch the news.
Guest:Every commercial is on there.
Marc:Sure, sure.
Guest:So anyway, but it's going good.
Guest:So she says basically, and the idea is as you get older in your 40s, your late 40s, your hemispheres of the separating two sides of the brain starts to melt.
Marc:Is that true?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Is it?
Guest:So you become more emotional.
Guest:You think about seeing Cinema Paradiso.
Guest:Again.
Guest:Again, yeah.
Guest:And you, yeah, yeah.
Guest:So it becomes, you become less of, you know, it happens at the same time that your testosterone is, you know.
Guest:Diminishing.
Marc:So you're slowly becoming an old woman?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, I am.
Guest:I'm becoming the... I'm definitely the woman in the relationship, but I'm also okay with it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's the thing about getting older.
Guest:You have to become more tolerant or you fucking die.
Marc:How's the baby?
Marc:How old is this baby?
Guest:This baby is three months old.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:Three months and three days.
Guest:I count the days.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's how beautiful.
Guest:And really, it's beautiful.
Guest:Like this morning, I was up with her at five.
Guest:My wife always says, you don't do enough.
Guest:I do everything.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I said, I just changed the... How many diapers did you change today?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I said, two?
Guest:I did 10.
Guest:But I don't have tits.
Guest:I can't feed the baby.
Guest:And you're better and you're younger.
Guest:But again, it's a machismo.
Guest:I can't admit that I'm younger and that she's older and I get more tired.
Guest:So you got up with the kid at five?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was up at 5.30.
Guest:And what happens is the mom is staying with us.
Guest:Thank God the Abolita is there.
Guest:Abolita, that's Spanish for free domestic servant.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So she's, then the grandma's staying there.
Guest:And she's like the baby whisperer.
Guest:Because the baby could be crying, pooping, sneezing, or usually all those things at the same time.
Guest:And then she just comes over and she's got this, she's got like a, it's a whistle and a shush.
Guest:It's like a shush, shush, shush, shush.
Guest:And the baby's like, ah!
Guest:And the baby's like, ah!
Guest:You know, she does the same thing at customs, too.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Ma'am, I noticed you don't have a visa to enter America.
Guest:Ma'am, you have a live chicken in your luggage.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:so but it's it's been you know i would definitely recommend it it'll throw your life in turmoil i mean i definitely feel like i've aged two years in the last three months but that's okay you know i love it and it's just you know it really is so it's exhausting and just when you think god we have to kill it yeah you know it starts smiling at you you know and then our window to kill it is closed
Guest:What did your parents do when you grew up?
Guest:My dad was in real estate and had a little loan business.
Guest:And he was a musician too.
Guest:Yeah, and he was a musician, but he knew he was a musician.
Guest:He wasn't going to be able to make enough bread to pay for a family.
Guest:And he was a Jew.
Guest:Yeah, so he was like, he's the only Jew, but there was like different kind of Jews, though, who would like- I know, I'm a Jew, I'm a certain kind.
Guest:But there's different, just like in every class structure.
Guest:Yeah, sure.
Guest:He was like, my dad, my grandfather couldn't read or write.
Guest:Right.
Guest:He was a barber.
Guest:He had a barber shop next to the Fox Theater on Market Street in San Francisco.
Guest:Really?
Guest:The old Fox Theater.
Guest:And my dad used to shine shoes, and my dad was telling me, they used to have stickers.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Where the stickers and you could, you know, during the war.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The World War, the big one, World War II, the soldiers would come in.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And they'd get a haircut and whatever.
Guest:And then he'd, you know, give them a facial for like another nickel.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then my dad would sign the shoes for another couple of pennies.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then if they wanted to spend a dime, they could win a bicycle.
Uh-huh.
Guest:And the bicycle was like, you peel back these things and it'd come.
Guest:Schwinn would sell these things.
Guest:And, you know, and then the company would make a little bit of money and give a bicycle.
Guest:My dad, my grandfather, he pulled off all the things, took the bike, gave it to Marvin and then put the things back on.
Guest:So people had no chance of winning.
Guest:Of course, my dad, you know, he was.
Guest:He got the bike, though.
Guest:He got the scam.
Guest:He was scamming.
Guest:But you didn't scam the Changs.
Guest:I never scammed them Changs.
Guest:Them damn Changs never got scammed by me.
Guest:But growing up there, you had at your disposal.
Guest:But at the same time, wherever you grow up, I think, is really boring.
Guest:Your mom was Filipino?
Guest:Yeah, my mom's Filipino.
Guest:So my mom had great timing.
Guest:She would never understand any jokes.
Guest:She would just be like, ha, ha, ha.
Guest:She'd laugh at them.
Marc:Ha, ha, ha.
Guest:And then she'd lean over and go, what does it mean?
Guest:Ha, ha, ha.
Marc:So she's being polite.
Marc:She's being polite.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But you're saying it was boring no matter where you grow up.
Guest:Well, wherever you grow up, it just seems like this is boring.
Guest:I remember driving around San Francisco with my dad.
Guest:And I go, what's that big building?
Guest:And he said, it's a hotel.
Guest:And I went, people pay money to come here?
Guest:This is awful.
Guest:But then, you know, when you get older and you're 15, you realize that, you know, I found out, you know, Chinatown.
Guest:I have this old map.
Guest:I don't know where the hell it is, but it's a map from 1874 of Chinatown.
Guest:And it's a map that's from the police station that marked out all the opium dens because they were legal.
Guest:Opium dens and then the Chinese prostitution and white prostitution.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Okay, yeah.
Guest:So the whole thing was red, which means the whole thing was an opium den.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And there was like yellow, which means it was all Chinese prostitution everywhere and a couple little white things.
Guest:So for the guys, you know, you get bored.
Guest:You go, you know, I'm tired of these Chinese prostitutes.
Guest:They got any whiteys around here, you know?
Guest:I feel like a little- For the sailors.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:Go, let's mix it up a little bit.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:And then I've got a couple of those lamps.
Guest:My wife made me throw away all antiques, unfortunately.
Guest:She said, the only antique I like is you.
Guest:But I had a couple of those old lamps from the old, you know.
Guest:Because, you know, San Francisco, they had some of those old antique places.
Guest:There used to be a place on Grant Street called Old Vogue or whatever it was.
Marc:Some of those antique places are ripoffs.
Marc:They're fake antiques.
Guest:Some of them, but these guys, I believe.
Guest:This was one of these old, and it was basically with these lamps.
Marc:A gas lamp?
Guest:A lamp, yeah.
Guest:There was a little lamp.
Guest:It's an alcohol lamp.
Guest:Oh, right, right, right.
Guest:That they'd go around, and then the guys would take their pipes and smoke off it while they're sitting there getting baked, thinking about going whoring.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And so they said, wow, San Francisco.
Guest:I think it was probably one or the other.
Marc:In my knowledge of opiates, there's not much fucking going on.
Marc:That is the fucking.
Marc:That is true.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Yeah, you're right.
Marc:But that was a great place.
Marc:I mean, don't get mad about it.
Marc:But wait, let's track the career for a minute, can we?
Marc:Because I want to... Okay, so you start doing it when you're 16.
Marc:And then I got to... When I found out, by the time I was 20 and I got to like...
Marc:But you were sort of a prodigy in a way.
Marc:I mean, people liked you.
Marc:They called you Little Elvis, right?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, by 19, by 20, I was hitting it.
Guest:And I was 21, I got the other cafe.
Guest:That was the blessing for us, was that cafe, which was run by fake hippies.
Guest:They would pretend to be your friend and pretend to be giving you a good deal and then steal from you.
Guest:And they liked me because I would be at MC.
Guest:That was in the East Bay?
Guest:No, no, no, no.
Marc:The other cafe?
Guest:The other cafe was right in Carl and Cole in the Haight-Ashbury, San Francisco.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Okay.
Guest:And that was the place.
Guest:And the headliner at the time there was Dana Carvey.
Guest:That was the guy.
Guest:And I opened for him.
Guest:And he had a real audience.
Guest:And they were jazzed.
Guest:They would line up around the block to see him.
Guest:He sort of came from street performing, didn't he?
Guest:He was the biggest guy.
Guest:No, he was... I'm thinking A. Whitney Brown.
Guest:A. Whitney Brown, yeah.
Guest:Well, he did more than street performing.
Guest:That guy did time.
Guest:That guy did prison performing.
Marc:He's a character, dude.
Guest:Yeah, that's the only guy that I never had a conversation with when he was on Saturday Night Live because I knew he was an evil guy from being in San Francisco.
Guest:But he's a very... When he was on Saturday Night Live, he got in Dennis Miller's head and he said, Dennis...
Guest:Let's go watch you.
Guest:And he watched the tape, Dennis Miller.
Guest:A. Whitney Brown was watching a tape with Dennis Miller.
Guest:And Whitney was just going, look at you.
Guest:Look at the fear.
Guest:There's nothing but fear.
Guest:I'm telling you, man.
Guest:I'm telling you, this isn't working.
Guest:Look at that.
Guest:You're crumbling here.
Guest:And he was like, Dennis was just destroyed.
Guest:And then he realized, hey, this is an evil guy trying to ruin me.
Guest:I let this guy into my house.
Guest:You know, it's like, you know.
Guest:It's like letting the devil into your house anyway.
Guest:So he would try to get into everybody's head, you know, and then- Well, it taught you an important lesson, not to let people in your head.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:But I, so whenever he would even try to have a conversation with me, he would like, the weirdest thing about him was he tried to have a conversation with, I don't know why we're talking about A. Whitney Brown.
Guest:He would have a conversation with you and I would just turn around and walk away.
Guest:I would never even, I would never even engage him.
Guest:And he would, so he, by the way, so he would have a really, tried a quick way to get in your head, like a
Guest:I heard you sucked.
Guest:And that was a walk.
Guest:I would even get to the end.
Guest:That one sketch, you stunk.
Guest:And that was it.
Guest:All right, so wait.
Marc:Okay, so here you are.
Marc:You're at the other cafe.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, and Danny Carvey's the big deal.
Marc:And that was a music venue too?
Marc:No, no.
Guest:It was just like a coffee shop.
Guest:little restaurant run by fake hippies yeah and um who and then and then they they just you know they got rich off this place because people would show up and they pay like 10 12 dollars on friday saturday right which was like ridiculous right and um and then we would you know then there'd be people would come in jerry seinfeld would play that place and it was like it was one of the hipper places in the whole country what year was this man this is 84 yeah you know okay
Guest:So you're talking, you know, you're literally 84, 85, 86.
Guest:That was the gold standard there for San Francisco comedy at that time.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I mean, it really was.
Guest:I mean, they could say 82, 83 other comedians.
Guest:But for for me, that was the really that was the time where it was an explosion of comedy.
Guest:And you were featuring.
Guest:or you could headline yeah no no I was I was basically an MC which I was happy to do it because well the best thing about for me was I could MC and then which you know and introduce all the comics all night and they liked the club liked me the fake hippies liked me because I could keep the audience there because you didn't steal and I'd be drinking and I never stole yes
Guest:Chang, no, no, trust it.
Guest:Why you want to do that?
Guest:No, don't go back to school.
Guest:No, you stay here.
Guest:You got a future here.
Guest:I'm pump number three.
Guest:You got a future.
Guest:Thanks, Chang.
Guest:So you hosted, and when did break come?
Guest:How'd that happen?
Guest:Well, it was one of those things where I had a really nice manager.
Guest:Tom Fisher was a guy.
Guest:Nice guy.
Guest:He was a comedy club.
Guest:He didn't own the zoo?
Guest:No, he didn't know this, but he booked a bunch of places and he was really super nice to me.
Guest:Had a heroin problem.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:But never, he seemed to have it kind of under control.
Guest:And, you know, but San Francisco, you know, that's one of the things, you know, I want to manage you, but I got a heroin problem.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:All right.
Guest:All right.
Guest:You know, I'll be available Tuesdays and Thursdays between eight and nine at night.
Guest:I'll sober up.
Guest:But so this guy, and he used to like, he used to get me some gigs, like 25 bucks.
Guest:So you'd go to a place, get 25 bucks.
Guest:Go to Stockton.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:You go to Reno.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then- We've got the John Foxes of the world.
Guest:Yeah, well, and then I hope I was the MC for a while.
Guest:I was the MC at the Punchline, which was great.
Guest:And you could actually make a few hundred bucks doing that.
Guest:Did you meet Bill Graham?
Guest:Yeah, Bill Graham actually saw me.
Guest:It's funny.
Guest:Bill Graham saw me and said, hey, you're funny, kid.
Guest:And I started to get hot about 1985.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He said, hey, you're a funny kid.
Guest:You know what?
Guest:85, 86.
Guest:That's one.
Guest:And he said, you know, they got these bands coming in from England.
Guest:You're going to open for them.
Guest:You're young.
Guest:You're hip.
Guest:They're going to like you.
Guest:And I went like, okay.
Guest:And cut to, I'm opening for this band called, you know, their big hit was, you spin me around, around, baby, around, around, like a record, baby.
Guest:And they're like really hardcore.
Guest:Everyone's dressed black.
Guest:They have their hair dyed black.
Guest:And they got like, you know, and they're pale or something.
Guest:And I'm on stage trying to tell a joke.
Guest:A quarter flies right towards me, hits me right above the eye.
Guest:Good night.
Guest:And then a bottle.
Guest:And I said, whoa, that was it.
Guest:And then they said, kid, it's not working out.
Guest:And then...
Guest:I know, but he still had me working middling.
Guest:I think I started middling at that time for his punchline because he owned the punchline at the time.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:But he was great.
Guest:I mean, he was one of the guys who was a kid.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You're going to be huge.
Guest:I'm never wrong.
Guest:You know, it's one of those things.
Guest:It's like, really?
Guest:Am I?
Guest:But in 84, what really helped me a lot was 84, maybe it was 85, maybe like 85, 86, about that.
Guest:But Jay Leno was like, you know, he was on Letterman doing like, where's the beef?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, what's your beef?
Guest:You know, Jay, what's your beef?
Guest:I'll tell you my beef, Dave.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Hey, David, let me tell you, let me tell you, let me tell you my beef.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Here's the thing.
Guest:You know, these guys, you know, you got these, you know, you got the old car thing, 1950s, you know, these cars, you know, you know, it's got a grill, you know, it's got a grill, you know, in the morning you get up and, you know, you hose off a Toyota Celica, you know, one of these kind of grills, you know what I mean?
Guest:That's a real car.
Guest:This is a car.
Guest:Not a Toyota, this is a real car.
Guest:And so he was doing that kind of stuff and he got huge.
Guest:All of a sudden he started playing theaters.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so I- He was a funny comedian.
Guest:Oh, he was a great comic.
Guest:He was the strongest comic.
Guest:You know how you have your killer bits when you first start?
Guest:Okay, five minutes from now we're going to get to that killer bit and I'll just get through this weak section and then I'll space it out and then I'll get to the killer bit at the end and then I'll be okay.
Guest:Filler.
Guest:It's all filler.
Guest:Every bit of his was a killer bit.
Guest:It was a monster bit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then in 85, he was absolutely the strongest, best comedian in the country by far.
Guest:He was the best comic of his era.
Guest:So anyway, so he-
Guest:my manager say listen you know he got booked and you know he like helped book him or something in these theaters fisher fisher yeah and so you pick him up and just hang out with him you can absorb something from him yeah you're the opener go get the guy at the airport but i didn't open i wasn't even the first and then he i opened for him after that but what happened was uh you pick him up just make sure you're on time and make sure you know where you're going i know you know the city because i was like a city rat yeah i know anything and so i'd be right there right at the gate and he said where's your car
Guest:I go, it's right up front, Mr. Leno, and so we go out in the car, and then after a while, he go, hey kid, are you a comic?
Guest:What do you mean?
Guest:Yeah, I'm a comic.
Guest:How long you been doing?
Guest:So here's what happened was, I think the second time I drove him, he said, you know a good Chinese restaurant?
Guest:You from here?
Guest:I go, yeah.
Guest:He said, you know a good Chinese restaurant?
Guest:I said, I know the best, Mr. Leno.
Guest:And he said, you know, it's open right now?
Guest:I said, absolutely.
Guest:Right now in Chinatown.
Guest:I took him over to Sam Woe's and I took him and I said, you know, and he's going to want to go to a fancy place.
Guest:I took him over to Grant Street and I said, there's a place that's where they bring the president, you know, each there.
Guest:There's a picture of President Carter up there.
Guest:What place was that?
Guest:So that was on Grant Street.
Guest:I forget the name, but second story, Grant Street.
Guest:So I took him there.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he was happy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was a good restaurant.
Guest:And that's some schmuck thanking him, you know, some dive place I'm sure he's used to by that time.
Guest:And so I said, hey, come here.
Guest:I'll buy you lunch.
Guest:You know, he's driving me around.
Guest:You know where the radio stations were?
Guest:You know, it's good.
Guest:And so he said, so how long are you a comic?
Guest:It's fine.
Guest:That came out.
Guest:Three hours later.
Guest:You a comic?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:How long have you been doing?
Guest:I said, you know, about, you know, maybe eight months, 10 months.
Guest:I said, yeah, okay, you know.
Guest:Listen, all you need is five, you know, just get five minutes.
Guest:That kills everywhere.
Guest:You don't have that, you don't have anything.
Guest:All these comedians say, you know, I got two hours.
Guest:Who wants to hear two hours of material?
Guest:I don't want him.
Guest:Just get five minutes of kills everywhere.
Guest:If you don't have that, you don't have anything.
Guest:All you need in L.A.
Guest:is 20 minutes to become a star.
Guest:So truth be told, I got five minutes that killed.
Guest:And what I did was if even comedians were talking about the same subject, I'd take it out.
Guest:And I said, I knew I was getting somewhere when I was taking stuff out that was working.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But it just wasn't murdering.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And it wasn't as keenly individual for me.
Guest:Anyway, that five minutes, six months later, that five minutes I did on the Letterman show,
Guest:Before The Young Comedian?
Guest:Well, actually, no, no, no, no.
Guest:I got on The Young Comedian Special.
Guest:Who got you that?
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:The Young Comedian Special, that was 89.
Guest:Jeez, this is like, you know, between 86 and 89, that's like when you're a kid.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:That's like 10 years.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know, it's the theory of relativity.
Guest:Right now, it's like, you know, three years ago for us was like a dump.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:A long dump.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But when you were a kid, three years, I think a gigantic amount of your career.
Guest:So by that time, yeah, I was ready to hit it.
Guest:But I never had more than 25 minutes of killer material.
Guest:Ever.
Guest:At that time.
Guest:Now I do.
Guest:Now I was always envious of those guys had a monster hour.
Marc:Well, you were one of those guys that somehow avoided the sort of kind of...
Guest:road headlining for years yeah i mean at that time no but the comedians in in the middle acts were making more money in 1986 87 yeah 88 yeah especially 88 when there's you know when the comedy clubs started blowing up all over the country right 88 89 as a middle act you can make 1500 sometimes 1750 to go out yeah just a middle act yeah you know and you can make a living and now it's 100 bucks a show for guys
Marc:Yeah, it's crazy, the middle accent.
Marc:Yeah, so they're just eating it.
Marc:It doesn't even exist anymore.
Guest:Even the headliners are making like $800 a week.
Guest:Unless you're like a TV known guy, it's tough.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Okay, so the first thing you got was Young Comedians, or you did Letter Me before that?
Marc:I did Letterman in 87.
Marc:In New York.
Guest:They flew you out to New York.
Guest:The next day I had to move to LA because I got an agent.
Guest:After Letterman.
Guest:I got an audition for a movie.
Guest:It sounded good because Charles Grodin was in it and Dan Aykroyd and Jim Belushi.
Guest:It turned out to be a piece of crap called The Couch Trip.
Guest:But at the time, it's like a movie.
Guest:Are you kidding?
Guest:I never auditioned for a movie.
Guest:Okay, so I drive down to LA.
Guest:On the way down to LA, I crash my car.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I literally, it was an old, I had an old, you know, what the hell was the car?
Guest:You know, it was Ralph Nader's Unsafe at Any Speed.
Guest:Pinto.
Guest:A Corvair.
Guest:A Corvair?
Marc:Where the hell did you get a Corvair?
Guest:You know, it was just some, you know, it was just a cool, you want to have a cool old car for the chicks.
Marc:It's a weird car.
Guest:And it didn't even have seatbelts, a 1960 Corvair.
Guest:Luckily, it was really muddy, so it just slid.
Guest:And I remember, I wasn't even scared, I was upside down, I was like, I'm going to be okay, I'm going to be, it flipped, you know, like, you know.
Marc:Where?
Marc:Like in Big Sur?
Guest:I just filled up on I-5 right below the 156.
Guest:You make a right.
Guest:And I just filled up a tank, which means the back was heavy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And the engine's in the back.
Guest:So you're basically, you're doing a two-wheeling.
Guest:And then I started, anyway, a tumbleweed.
Guest:And I literally just tried to turn like a half an inch.
Guest:And the next thing I was fishtailing.
Guest:Exactly what Ralph Nader.
Guest:I just saw Ralph Nader in my head.
Guest:What were you thinking?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I figured, you know, maybe this car's safe because it survived.
Guest:And it's like, no, people used to have to put sandbags in the front.
Guest:Of a Corvair.
Guest:To weigh it down so it wouldn't spin out like this.
Guest:And of course I'm an idiot and I'm like 20.
Guest:So I'm upside down like a cat clinging to the carpet with my fingernails.
Guest:And it just slid to a stop.
Guest:And I remember I didn't get like, I didn't think much about it.
Guest:I dinged my shoulder a little bit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I climbed out, and then I had to literally climb out and roll down the window.
Guest:And then this truck driver said, I can't believe you walked out of that one.
Guest:And I went, really?
Guest:He says, yeah, man, I see this all the time.
Guest:No, dead people do that stuff.
Guest:I went, whoa.
Guest:He said, no, no, if it wasn't for mud, you'd be messed up right now.
Guest:So anyways, holy shit.
Marc:So did he drive you to your audition?
Guest:So here's what happened.
Guest:Funny you say that though.
Guest:I had no credit cards because I had no credit.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You didn't have to have credit or insurance back then.
Guest:This is the 80s, the good times.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so I didn't have credit cards.
Guest:So I thought, okay, why am I going to get to LA?
Guest:I got an audition, blah, blah, blah.
Guest:It's early in the morning.
Guest:And so I go to this.
Guest:I call all these places and I say, can I get to rent a car?
Guest:Sure, we got cars.
Guest:I don't have a credit card.
Guest:Click.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Can I rent a car?
Guest:Sure, you're going to rent a car.
Guest:I don't have a credit card.
Guest:Click.
Guest:I call and say, hey, listen, I don't have a credit card.
Guest:Is that kind of...
Guest:I don't mind.
Guest:Come on over.
Guest:You know?
Guest:Come on.
Guest:This is in Los Banos.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:So this guy, it turned out, this guy, I swear to God, it was a carpet place.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He sold carpets.
Guest:He rented a few cars on his lawn and he had fish tanks.
Guest:So anyway, and I said, you know, and he said, well, I said, how much is the car?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:How much you got?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I said, I got like 200 bucks.
Guest:It's 200 bucks.
Yeah.
Guest:And I'm like, okay, all right, here we go.
Guest:And he sold you the car?
Guest:No, 200 bucks, and then you got to bring it back.
Guest:And I said, when do I need to bring it back?
Guest:When are you coming back up this way?
Guest:And I was like, well, probably a week, I don't know.
Guest:He said, that's good to me.
Guest:So anyway, I get in this car.
Guest:It was a Ford Granada.
Guest:It was just basically almost as unsafe as the car I was just in.
Guest:And it was just so old.
Guest:It was like a 75, literally 75 Ford Granada.
Guest:I know because my dad used to have a 77 Ford Granada.
Guest:You know, that was like a, you know, so anyway, I drive down to the place and I drive down and then I'm like, and it's a piece of crap.
Guest:And then here's the thing is, it's January.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, and then it's, so in San Francisco, it's cold.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So in LA, it's hot.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:so i've got like you know my black tight you know black jeans black boots i used to wear and i had like my black leather jacket with a black sweater i'm san francisco you know you know i don't know what i was but like you know anyway and you know what i was in la sweaty yeah and it's hot yeah anyway so i go to this audition i drive down there you know it's in i'm late because you know it's a guy by the time you know the crash you're telling the story when you got
Guest:No, I was just like, you know, she did say this to me, do you want to practice it?
Guest:And I went, no, let's just read it.
Guest:I never know.
Guest:So I started reading it.
Guest:And then I noticed that the smile she had, she didn't have anymore.
Guest:She said this to me, have you ever acted before?
Guest:And I went, yeah, sure, why not?
Guest:So anyway, after that, this is before cell phones, I get on and my heroin manager, I said, listen, dude, I got to figure out how to act down here because they seem to value that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So, anyway, so I'm in my car and I'm driving.
Guest:I think I just fucked up my first audition.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'm driving.
Guest:I'm looking up at these billboards of these movie stars, you know, and these movies and I go, holy crap, you know, I think.
Guest:And I'm looking up and I hit a pedestrian.
Marc:No, you did not.
Guest:I did.
Guest:I hit a pedestrian.
Guest:I was like, it was a stop sign, but I rolled because the car was so old and, you know, the tires, which I could have, and the brakes, which I could have fixed.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, anyway, so anyway, I hit this pedestrian.
Guest:Thank God he was a crazy person.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I didn't kill him.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But, like, I hit him.
Guest:And he just went like.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:and then hit the car he hit the hood of the car a few times and then walked away it's before people you know you before lawsuits before people saw lawsuits you're 80s before people sued people yeah you're in some sort of alternate reality 1980s and then i i i figured out you know i said i got to get in some acting class and i did there was a guy named roy london and at the time the sharon stone was in that class uh you just found that jeff goldblum i lucked out
Marc:Well, no one told you to go to that class?
Guest:No, no, no, no, no.
Guest:It was like, I found out through the new manager that I was getting down there about that class.
Guest:And I think, who else?
Guest:You know, Jim Carrey was in the class.
Guest:Brad Pitt.
Guest:Really?
Guest:And none of these guys were, the only guy famous then was Goldblum.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I think Sharon Stone.
Marc:Who was the new manager?
Guest:Sharon Stone had just hit it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And that was Bernie himself, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, Bernie, he gave me to one of his minions.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But how did that all happen?
Marc:I mean, so you come down, you're done Letterman.
Marc:You hadn't done Young Comedians.
Guest:Well, I mean, the connection was, Dennis Miller is the one who recommended me to get on the, what do you call it?
Guest:Young Comedians?
Guest:Young Comedians Special, and he hosted that.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And that was a Brillstein thing, so you're in, kid.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And what was Bernie like?
Guest:Did you spend time with him?
Guest:Bernie was a guy like, I don't know how you... My only dealing with him was like, I didn't want to do one movie with Lorne Michaels.
Guest:And I said, I don't know how you say no to Lorne.
Guest:You mean you don't know how to say no to Lorne.
Guest:You just say no.
Guest:I don't know how to say no to Lorne.
Guest:That was like his umbilical... But that was later, right?
Guest:Yeah, that was a couple of years later.
Guest:But again, when you're a kid, it's forever.
Guest:so you do the young comedian special and then how long before snl uh a few months that was it about three months after yeah now look i'll tell you this though here's the cool thing about this was i did this i did i auditioned in la at the improv for snl yeah and it was like you know 10 comics you know i had to follow a guy who's like you know this black comic who's like super high energy he's like singing songs and dancing and yeah it's like it's like following sammy davis jr in vegas you know it's like you don't want to
Guest:But anyway, and I went up there and I had a kind of really a kind of fuck you attitude at that time, which was perfect for my stand-up.
Guest:And I had like a really kind of bit that just wasn't what anybody else was doing at that time.
Guest:It was just a little off, which was great.
Guest:And not trying to make contact with the audience at all, just kind of.
Guest:So it was kind of more, you know,
Guest:Made a little more punk rocky than everybody else was doing.
Guest:Not very much more.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I still cared about killing.
Guest:But I murdered that night.
Guest:And then I remember like they said, well, you know, Lauren would like to meet you tomorrow to discuss, you know, blah, blah, blah.
Guest:You know.
Guest:And I said, well, I got a gig in San Diego.
Yeah.
Guest:I said, I got to, you know, and so if he wants to, and at that time I was like, I said, Hey, if he wants to see me, you can fly me to New York.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so I said, no.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I drove on the way to San Diego.
Guest:I had this weird physical breakdown where like I started sweating from the top of my head and it wasn't hot.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I just said, like, did I just make the biggest fuck up of my entire life?
Guest:And I'm sweating and I'm perspiring and I think I just fucked up my whole life.
Guest:Anyway, but you know what?
Guest:He met with a bunch of other, several other comedians.
Guest:The only one who flew to New York was me.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:So I did the right call.
Guest:Yeah, you had balls, man.
Guest:And then they hired, and here's the best part about it, was that David Spade got hired because they said, we're a comedy writing team.
Guest:Even though we'd never written anything together.
Guest:Did you know each other?
Guest:Yeah, we were friends, yeah.
Guest:David's one of the, maybe the funniest guys to hang with.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Of anybody.
Guest:Like on the grown-up set, that guy was just hilarious.
Guest:You drop him in the Middle Ages, he'd be making your life.
Guest:That guy looks like he's going to kill us all with smallpoxers, you know.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And so, and they just kind of, you know.
Marc:What was the meeting with Lorne like?
Marc:Because I've had this experience, like obviously I've never been on SNL, but I've talked to plenty of people who've been on SNL.
Marc:Did he make you wait?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Well, he flew you out there and then you're waiting, but you don't mind waiting because he's got like, it's like a, it's like a girl's high school yearbook at Saturday Night Live, you know?
Guest:It's like, you know, it's like, you know, all the, there's pictures everywhere.
Guest:People sign it.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Dear Lauren, everything.
Guest:It's like he wants to be surrounded by these, these memories of himself and, and, and his, and, and the love that, that people have.
Guest:pretend to have yeah have for him you know who were being helped by him you know of course and not saying through any of that yeah so and then and then you know he surrounded himself with like you know young girls and you know who could blame him for that yeah and then you wait to get in and then you get in and
Guest:And, I mean, he was great.
Guest:I mean, first of all, you could, from his office, first of all, that guy's got the tits job of tits jobs.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, that, you know, running that show.
Guest:And he was smart enough to like, hey, I don't want, you know, people to judge me from writing.
Guest:So he stopped writing pretty early on.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But if you were on that show from like, like I was on the higher to the 89-90 season.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The end of the 89-90 season.
Guest:and so if you're there before the 89 90 season i wrote half the show and then if you're in the room with somebody who was there in like the 86 before before 1986 i wrote half the show you know so depending you know that's and but um you know making him laugh was a big deal but then but the meeting was fine i mean meeting was basically like you know i said i'd love to be a performer on here because i you know beginning he said i'm a performer and he said
Guest:well you know i want to hire you as a writer and i went yeah well uh i'd love to perform you know and then you know well gary and i got i hired chevy and garrett as writers and i think things worked out pretty well for them and i said i'll take it and i said i got some ideas he's got i'm done you know that was it you know he shooed me out of the room with the rest of you know by one of his young underage minions
Marc:And who was your crew?
Marc:It was you and Adam and Dave.
Guest:And who was on your show, your season?
Guest:Well, Chris Farley got hired the next year.
Guest:Dave and I got hired at the end of the... How long were you on?
Guest:Conan O'Brien was a writer there with Greg Daniels.
Guest:You know, Greg Daniels went on to become...
Guest:Mr. Television, basically.
Marc:How many years were you on there?
Guest:Like four and a half, four years, four years plus.
Marc:That's a long run.
Marc:It was a good long run.
Guest:It was good for me.
Guest:It was 84 shows.
Guest:I remember that.
Guest:Yeah, and Farley was fun?
Guest:Farley was great, yeah.
Guest:I mean, Farley was one of those guys who was funny, you know, no matter what.
Guest:He would have been the funniest, you know...
Guest:insurance salesman or the funniest science teacher you ever met.
Guest:Just one of those lunatics.
Guest:I had a guy like him named Mike Brown up in Northern California.
Guest:Mike Brown was one of those, just the funniest of all the guys.
Guest:This guy could just tell a story.
Guest:He would tell a story about like,
Guest:You know, there was a sleepover and this one guy trying to rape this one girl.
Guest:And it sounds like an awful thing, but this is the 80s.
Guest:You can get away with talking about he's trying to attack this girl in the middle of the night, just trying to grope her and everything like this.
Guest:But he had a way of just telling stories that were just great.
Guest:Farley had a way of just behaving.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:His behavior was funny and sometimes outrageous.
Guest:But also, he would be doing something that you don't necessarily want him to be doing.
Guest:Like we were driving out to someplace in New Jersey.
Guest:On a Friday night shooting something literally at midnight to three in the morning for a commercial parody the next day.
Guest:And there was a girl in the car and he was like putting his arm around her, you know, farting and like, you know, trying to hit on her.
Guest:And like the real genius of Saturday Night Live is a guy named Jim Downey.
Guest:And he was in the car and he just screamed at him.
Guest:Like, that's not fucking funny.
Guest:That's not fucking funny.
Guest:And you saw him just kind of like, just get squished down like what must have happened to him most of his childhood.
Guest:You know?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But, you know, because some of the behavior was inappropriate.
Guest:But at the same time, I'm laughing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so, you know, your friends or, you know, your asshole friends are laughing, encouraging it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he just, you know, he ate that up.
Guest:But he was a lovely guy.
Guest:I mean, I could say, like, you know, he would come into work, and, you know, he would always be in a good mood.
Guest:You'd always be guaranteed to get, you know, a few laughs every time you saw him.
Guest:But he would come in, and sometimes he'd have a wound.
Guest:And I'd go, whoa, what was that?
Guest:And he'd have, like, 60 stitches on his right arm.
Guest:All right.
Guest:I put my arm through the window there last night.
Guest:I just got a little angry at the girl.
Guest:You know what I'm saying?
Guest:Next thing you know, the window, somebody's got to pay, and that was the window last night.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So, um, and I go, oh my God, it's like a, you know, it's like, you know, you know, Chechnya wound, you know, kind of thing, you know, something you see on like a, um, a war zone.
Guest:But that was just what happened, you know, an extreme kind of thing.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And you, and Sandler was there too?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Sandler spayed, Sandler came on, uh, in the fall of 90.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he was just, he was a lovely kid.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:A really lovely kid.
Guest:And I just, you know, he said, come on, let's write something together.
Guest:And, um,
Guest:And you guys remained friends.
Guest:Yeah, well, we were friends before.
Guest:I mean, literally, when, like, my girl kicked me out of a place.
Guest:I was living across the street from him.
Guest:In L.A.
Guest:In L.A., in North Hollywood, which is like... I remember moving into North Hollywood.
Guest:This is, you know, for a cheap apartment complex.
Guest:I don't hear any of my own neighbors.
Guest:This is pretty cool.
Guest:That's because I was the only one that would live there first.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:As soon as... I mean, a gay couple lived right above me, and I could hear them beating the crap out of each other.
Guest:It's like...
Guest:and then and then they'd have sex later maybe you're like you know i love you and then even lower bows i love you it's like shut up little man i gotta move you know yeah but uh and then and he lived right across the street with judd apatow uh-huh and then one time i got thrown everything got thrown out of my um uh i told her i was leaving you know i was leaving her and then you know breaking up with her because i was starting to become famous and then um the girl you're living with yeah apartment
Guest:Yeah, and then she threw all my stuff out on the lawn, and then I went and stayed on Adam's.
Guest:I said, Adam, can I stay here for a little while?
Guest:And he said, yeah, absolutely.
Guest:But he didn't give me like a pillow, a sheet, a blanket.
Guest:He said, yeah, sleep right there.
Guest:You know, I didn't think about giving you a pillow or anything, you know?
Guest:They're comics.
Guest:What do you want?
Guest:Is that your mommy?
Guest:Yeah, exactly, you know?
Guest:Can I put a sheet down for you, Robbie?
Guest:You want Tommy Rub?
Guest:Do you need some Vicks for your chest?
Guest:You know, none of that stuff.
Guest:What do you expect from those guys?
Marc:So I'm sitting there, you know.
Marc:See, like Norm, not Norm, but he came on too, right?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, Norm.
Guest:I like the more gruff Norm.
Guest:Yeah, you know the thing.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, here's the thing.
Guest:Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, Mark.
Guest:Yeah, me tell you.
Guest:Yeah, me tell you.
Guest:He's mellowed.
Guest:yeah i well norm is a genius norm's brilliant i mean he's a guy that was like too smart and like as far as like for saturday night live he would do sketches the audiences would stink to be honest with you because a lot of the tickets were given away you know um you know lorne michaels and the crew they would give their tickets to friends and all the a lot of the audience sometimes you'd have a great show audience yeah uh you know a great you know um you know uh what do you call it rehearsal audience yeah
Guest:And then the live show would stink.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because all the tickets are given away to the friends and all the friends of the friends of the friends.
Marc:They're just there for a party.
Guest:They want to go to the party afterwards.
Guest:So it's like you'd have an amazing potential great sketch and all of a sudden people go, where's this party?
Guest:You guys going to go to the party?
Guest:When's this party?
Guest:What's this show going to end so we can go to the party?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Woo!
Guest:So there's a lot of woo!
Guest:And so Norm...
Guest:Norm would have really funny sketches that took, I mean, that was, I'll tell you the bottom of that show, the worst was that show was, was seeing, um, the, uh, you know, the parrot sketch with John Cleese, Michael Palin, bomb.
Guest:That's how stupid American audiences can be at the bottom of it.
Guest:And that was on Saturday Night Live.
Guest:Like, you know, that was just after I'd left, but that's how stupid, uh,
Guest:the audiences can be in America.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And that was really depressing.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And so sometimes, like, Norm had a great sketch about Charles Corral.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he played Charles Corral with all the, you know, the makeup, which is totally unnecessary because the audiences didn't know the hell most of them know who he was.
Guest:But it was great because he used to do those things on the road.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because I'm Charles Corral.
Guest:Because he retired that week.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he said, after 30 years being on the road.
Guest:Right.
Guest:There are some things that will remain with me always.
Guest:Mrs. Barrington's pies in Lexington, New York.
Guest:And I'll remember how those cherry pies tasted in the warmth of her company.
Guest:And I said, and I'll remember a certain young basketball player in...
Guest:In Kansas City, Missouri, this little three-year-old could hit shots and blah, blah, blah.
Guest:And I'll remember the post-it stamp collector in Maine.
Guest:But mostly what I'll remember about the road is the sex.
Guest:The sex in every town in America.
Guest:And so, you know, I'm not giving the bit justice, but it's really funny.
Guest:The sex with, you know, being on top of Mrs. Hurley in Sacramento, California.
Guest:she liked it in every way imaginable and you know so it was just a really funny yeah and it had a beautiful setup yeah you know because that's the thing about comedy and like you know it's like you know john cleese i did a bit part in a movie that um that he was in and that we were both in together and uh you know the things you could take the time if you see fish call wanda yeah there's no jokes for 15 minutes
Guest:If you see, it's all set up.
Guest:Right.
Guest:If you see Fawlty Towers.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's a total to tell a play that's 28 minutes long.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:There is no jokes the first five, eight minutes.
Guest:It's all set up.
Guest:And just America just doesn't have, it's all about the quip.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's all about who's coming in and they say it's some sarcastic remark and then somebody tops their sarcastic remark with another sarcastic retort.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it's just boring.
Guest:And I think that it's a dumbing down.
Guest:But at the same time, and that's why I stopped doing stand-up because it got so boring by 1990.
Guest:And truthfully, boring for me because I wasn't being able to really write new material.
Guest:Now, stand-up though now is at its apex that I think it's ever been.
Guest:I think there's more great comedians right now than ever in stand-up.
Guest:I think you got guys who potentially, you wouldn't think they'd be great, but a guy like Daniel Tosh, I mean, his show's funny.
Guest:His stand-up's terrific.
Guest:He really does hold up as one of the better comedians in America.
Guest:I mean, he really was impressed with his stand-up.
Guest:You know, Louis C.K.,
Guest:I think that guy is, you know, is phenomenal.
Guest:He's probably America's best comic.
Guest:You got a guy like maybe one of the greatest living comics of all time is Dylan Moran.
Guest:So he's in here.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Dylan Moran is, I think that guy's, uh, you know, and no one knows him here.
Guest:Nobody knows him here, but he's a superstar around the world.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:No, he's an amazing performer.
Marc:He is really- A lot of freedom of mind, and he does long bits.
Guest:He really is like the Van Gogh of, I mean, I think 100 years from now, people will still be- Do you like doing stand-up?
Guest:Yeah, well, I love it.
Guest:It's just the touring is just beating the crap out of me, because Dylan is still a young guy.
Guest:I think he's 41.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'm 49.
Marc:Yeah, but come on.
Marc:You're not that old.
Guest:But literally, I was in Toronto the other day to do some theater in Toronto.
Guest:You sell all right?
Guest:I flew out there.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:In Canada, I sell out every show.
Guest:Most of the places, I do really well.
Guest:Some places, less well.
Guest:San Francisco, ticket sales are eh for that- For the Cobbs?
Guest:For the Cobbs cub I'm working up there.
Guest:But yeah, I'm enjoying it, especially when you got new material.
Guest:The one thing is most people don't even know that I ever did stand up.
Guest:so it's bizarre yeah but it happens you know by the time i remember your stand-up more than other things yeah well thank you i'm a stand-up but i um you know so i finally did it i taped a special and i don't know it's gonna probably end up on showtime or something um but um we just gave birth to a new hour yeah i did i know but but you know it's um you know but i it's interesting because like i have here
Guest:You have a bag of things.
Guest:I got a bag of bits.
Guest:I got like my 30 new jokes that I'm working on.
Guest:A couple of them I had to burn for the new special, which means they're over with.
Guest:You want to bounce them off me?
Guest:But Bill Burr, by the way, another great comic.
Guest:Another great comic.
Guest:Why that guy doesn't have a show?
Guest:It's going to happen.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He's building.
Guest:He's building.
Guest:Yeah, that guy's just brilliant, you know.
Guest:You better do it soon, though.
Guest:You know, 40 is like, you know, for kids, 40 is like 80 for, you know, teenagers.
Guest:And unfortunately, that's who runs the show business.
Guest:Yeah, but comics, sometimes they can... Yeah, no, no, but like, yeah, it can happen.
Guest:He's brilliant.
Guest:He's going to do something.
Guest:Is that a bit?
Guest:These are all just bits.
Guest:Some of them less, you know, some of them just... You know, the cool thing about stand-up was very similar to Saturday Night Live was you can just explore a bit and walk away from it.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I was never going to get a guy do like 10 minutes on one thing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Sometimes it happens.
Guest:But like, you know, it's just, you know, observations like that I really liked.
Guest:Like some things you can...
Guest:Some things like, you know, that are like dirty bits that like I was pretty clean comic, you know, and not by choice, just because that was more interesting to me at the time.
Guest:And, you know, you want to get on TV, but that was like, that was what was funny.
Guest:But like some things, I just like some classic jokes and I'm trying to do more joke oriented stuff now.
Guest:It's like, you know, you know, when you do something nice for somebody and they don't acknowledge it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, it's like, you know, yeah, lady.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That, that roll of toilet paper just magically appeared by itself.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Maybe I shouldn't be in the lady's restroom.
Guest:You know, I mean, it's- One-liners.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, it's some jokes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like Rodney would do.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I saw Rodney.
Guest:We all flew out to see Rodney.
Guest:It was Chris Rock, David Spade, and Adam Sandler, and a couple other guys.
Guest:And we went out and saw one of Rodney's last shows.
Guest:And the last couple of years, he was performing at Vegas.
Guest:He was so great.
Guest:He said, hey, I know a lot of jokes.
Guest:And he did like, you know, he said, I do 200 jokes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, that was 200 jokes.
Guest:That's crazy.
Guest:In an hour, you know?
Guest:And he remembered them all.
Guest:I mean, he was like, crazy.
Guest:Did you guys hang out with him?
Guest:yeah you know so you know Rodney um Quentin Tarantino was there that night and um Quentin you know showed up in his pajamas which is you know annoying why because we're gonna be there for two days the guy's wearing pajamas the whole trip you know and so so Rodney we went up and Rodney smoked pot you know yeah Rodney smoked pot so uh I said I didn't know you know you smoke yeah hey I've been smoking every day for 30 years that's why I'm still alive yeah that's what he would tell you yeah
Guest:And then he'd have his robe on and he'd be open and his balls and his dick would be hanging out.
Guest:You'd have to look away from that.
Guest:Anyway, so he said, and he still really cared about the act.
Guest:He said, hey, you guys, what do you think of the material?
Guest:What do you think?
Guest:What do you guys, was it hip?
Guest:He said, it wasn't, was it square?
Guest:That's what he said, was it square?
Guest:And then Tarantino was baked, obviously.
Guest:He said, oh yeah, man, it was the squarest.
Guest:I mean, it couldn't be any more square.
Guest:I mean, I'm telling you, man.
Guest:And, you know, Rod didn't know when the hell Quentin was.
Guest:I mean, I'm telling you, man, he's absolutely square as can be.
Guest:And he said, hey.
Guest:And Rodney's like, who the hell is that guy?
Guest:Is he serious or what?
Guest:And I had to go, no, Rodney, he doesn't mean that.
Guest:You don't mean it, right?
Guest:Square.
Guest:No.
Guest:He's saying square isn't bad.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, yeah, no, it wasn't square at all, Rodney.
Guest:No, not at all.
Guest:No, you were the, it was hip.
Guest:You were hip.
Guest:You know, by then, Rodney was like, oh, God, he was depressed.
Guest:Oh, no.
Guest:Rodney, anything could tip Rodney.
Guest:That was it.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And he said, you want to gamble?
Guest:He said, hey, listen, I'm going to lose 500 bucks and then go to bed.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so, I said, you know, what if you win?
Guest:I know.
Guest:Look at me.
Guest:Do I look like a guy who wins?
Guest:I swear to God, he was the same offstage.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And so, we'd go down and then we went and played the crap table.
Guest:I mean, it was like people were just, you know, Rodney was Rodney, but, you know, if you're gambling,
Guest:You want to get away from that guy who just, he just had that loser thing.
Guest:Oh, he did?
Guest:The dice hated him.
Guest:I mean, the dice wouldn't even roll to the end.
Guest:It just, it got like about halfway and just collapsed, you know?
Guest:Anyway, he lost 500 bucks super quick.
Guest:And then he looked at me and said, what'd I tell you?
Guest:I'm going to bed.
Guest:I'm a loser.
Guest:And that was it.
Guest:Yeah, I love that though.
Guest:Yeah, and it was one of those great stories where it was like, you know, you're outside yourself watching yourself.
Guest:Watch yourself.
Guest:And you go, this is pretty cool.
Guest:But you know, Quentin Tarantino go, yeah, you're the squarest, man.
Guest:You couldn't be more square.
Guest:Well, he's just a guy who smokes too much.
Guest:That's why I don't want to smoke.
Marc:But how could he not understand what he was saying?
Guest:I don't know why, because I just think he was just, you know, in the mood trying to please, because Rodney's, you know, from the 30s.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So you want a guy like, you know.
Guest:Rodney was amazing.
Guest:Yeah, well, Rodney was a guy, the thing I loved about Rodney was like, you know, he stopped doing comedy to take care of his kids.
Guest:And when his wife died.
Marc:He was selling aluminum siding.
Marc:Him and Joe Ansis were, and they were selling jokes out of the back of a car for like 12 years.
Marc:And he was too miserable to perform is what it was.
Marc:He couldn't get over.
Marc:And then he reinvented himself.
Marc:I read a great piece about him.
Guest:But he really, what he wanted to do, though, what he said was he wanted to make sure to get the kids into college.
Guest:When both kids are in college, he went back.
Guest:But truthfully, he's one of those guys, like you were talking about, Bill Burr, that takes a while to grow into themselves.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:A lot of the best comics are like that.
Guest:his face i mean he was on in the late 60s he was on ed sullivan you see him he just looked like a guy who was like um like the you know a thug who would uh you know a shark you know a loan shark's a thug yeah go and collect the money right he looked like he'd have a you know up his sleeve he's got a bat and boy drops and he's gonna beat you he just his eyes were too dark the dark when the hair went gray and he softened a little bit and that's when he became the rodney of rodney but he was ready for that comeback you know
Guest:So what do you got going?
Guest:Well, in my way, in a similar way, I feel like- It's all about to turn around, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, in some ways for me, it's like I feel like stand-up has reinvigorated me.
Guest:Good.
Guest:So I feel like I can, if I can just deal with the tough schedule, that I think I can have a real resurgence as a stand-up, which is great, because I want to be known as a great stand-up.
Guest:What about movies?
Guest:Any more?
Guest:Yeah, but in your late 40s, you want to play the dad of the Twilight kid?
Guest:No.
Guest:Well, how many scenes is it?
Guest:There's no scenes, but you're the dad.
Guest:You just come by the set and say hi to the kid.
Guest:He doesn't have a dad.
Guest:He doesn't have a dad.
Guest:Well, I don't think you're doing a good job as my agent.
Guest:But you have to write your own material.
Guest:And then you also have to stay excited and energized.
Guest:You have to still want to have fun.
Guest:And you've taken some hits.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:You know, the critics and the show.
Marc:Yeah, but that happens.
Marc:It doesn't, it rolls off you now or what?
Guest:Well, you have to be Zen about it.
Guest:I mean, I carry this thing with me.
Guest:When I was in Taiwan.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, and this Zen Buddhism.
Marc:You're wearing beads on your wrist and around your, you got Buddha beads around your neck.
Guest:This is my protection against critics.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No, but the idea of criticism is mostly a self-reflective thing.
Guest:Absolutely.
Guest:You have to become zen about it.
Guest:At first, you have to know that there's two sides to every coin.
Guest:You'll never see a one-sided coin.
Guest:It's impossible.
Guest:It doesn't exist.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:There's a connection to everything.
Guest:There has to be.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Or, you know, you'll never see a crest of a wave without a trough.
Guest:You know, you'll never see a trough without a crest.
Guest:There's a connection to it.
Guest:You have to have both.
Guest:And you're a fool to only look at one.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So you have to look at the other side.
Guest:So the one side of it, the negative side, could be like, well, they hate me.
Guest:They don't like my movies, blah, blah, blah.
Guest:You know, and, you know, blah, blah.
Guest:Or the other thing, well, you know what?
Guest:Maybe they're letting me free and I don't have to worry about pleasing them ever.
Guest:And that's the other side to that.
Guest:And then once you realize what it really is, is the difference between comedy seems to have, there's a real, just like in comedy, there's an emotional attachment to like music.
Guest:in very much the same way it's with comedy and comedy has to go to the essence of a person and it's very self-reflective of a person's intelligence and so when you don't if you like for instance somebody asks you are you a good cook people go nah I'm alright I don't cook anything special they'll be honest about it but if you ask somebody do you have a good sense of humor yeah
Guest:They go, yeah, of course I do.
Guest:Of course I'm a great sense of humor.
Guest:But not everybody can have a finely tuned, highly intelligent sense of humor.
Guest:But everybody has to think they are.
Guest:And so people, they get angry.
Guest:If somebody's laughing at something else, comedy is arrogant.
Guest:It's an arrogant art form.
Guest:It's like, I'm going to make you laugh now.
Guest:Here it comes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:All right?
Guest:Here it's coming.
Guest:I'm going to make you laugh.
Guest:Get ready for it.
Guest:And so there's an arrogance to that.
Guest:There's an artistry too.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so the arrogance of it is other people laughing around you.
Guest:This guy ain't funny.
Guest:What is this crap?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so it's an attack on you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right.
Guest:If you don't laugh at it.
Guest:Right.
Guest:If you don't like it.
Guest:And so you have to attack it.
Guest:You know, then again, you know, some of the criticism, you know, I think like as far as the show Rob could have been better.
Guest:I thought the writing stunk.
Guest:I think it could have been much better.
Guest:I thought the guy that I hired didn't do as good a job as I would have loved him to.
Guest:But, you know, I was also still touring at the time and he wouldn't let me in the writer's room, which is weird because I hired him years ago to get in the writer's room.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then it's like, this is a guy that I just hired, couldn't get a job, and wouldn't have this job unless I hired him.
Guest:So that's just one of the weird things that happens, and you just got to go with it.
Guest:But also at the time- So is this Zen thing new?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But the difference is, you could intellectualize it, but to apply it to your life takes years.
Guest:And that's the path you're on right now.
Guest:Well, the path, I've applied it to my life.
Guest:But the idea is to not be a Buddha outside the world and separate from everything, like living in a monastery and just saying, fuck you to the world and I'm not going to play part of your game.
Guest:It's to be a Buddha in the world and not being so reactive to it.
Guest:So basically, it's to not swing out.
Guest:anything even your own death to not let these things get to you right it's all a test i mean i realized pretty young even with zen buddhism you realize what it is without the name of it right but you have to describe zen buddhism not what it is but what it isn't right it's not a religion it's not a philosophy so what is it
Guest:Well, you know, I mean, if anybody says they know what it is, they're a fraud.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But there are some tenets to it.
Guest:And then you start to realize, you know, it's just your way, it's a way of interpreting the world in a different way than as you see it.
Guest:It's kind of like Freud would describe the world as a child's view of the world as an oceanic view.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:In other words, a child, a baby, like my baby's three months old.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Can't differentiate between the mother and herself.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And like the world.
Guest:They think when the baby closes his eyes, the world closes.
Marc:There's an oceanic view.
Marc:I still have that problem.
Guest:So it's to go through the world with that viewpoint, but from not the child's viewpoint, from an adult's.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So like a Zen Buddhist master in Japan said one time, he said, you know, I used to think there was no difference between me, my mother, and that tree, and the river, and the mountain.
Guest:And through greater study, I realized there was a difference between my mother, the mountain, and me.
Guest:And then through more study, I realized there wasn't a difference.
Guest:And after more study, that there was a difference.
Guest:And then he said, you're going to go places, kid.
Guest:I got an English band.
Guest:You're going to open up for these bands.
Guest:You're going to be huge.
Guest:Let me tell you something.
Guest:You're going to get quarters and bottles thrown at your head.
Guest:Then you're going to realize this is a mistake.
Guest:There's no difference between you and the quarters and the bottles.
Guest:Just let it go.
Guest:But at the time, you know, at the time you think, yeah, I'll do it.
Guest:He thinks it's going to work.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then you realize, no, this is ridiculous.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But that's the fun thing about show business and what's happening now with Amazon is going to have their television online and Netflix has a television show that's there and you can watch whatever you want.
Guest:So it's going to open up.
Guest:So the studios, if they're not careful.
Guest:are going to be like the long-distance phone companies.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They were a 20th century phenomenon that disappeared.
Guest:And that's going to happen.
Guest:Unless they really branch out and start to become, you know.
Guest:And right now, they've gone from 180 movies a year to 120 in the last three years.
Guest:2009, 2000.
Guest:So who's going to pick up that slack?
Guest:And then from 2009, I mean, from 2012 to 2014, it's going to go down to 90.
Guest:So basically, it's going to be superheroes and Twilight movies.
Guest:And whatever's on the computer.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And video games become a movie.
Guest:So that's it.
Guest:And so somebody's going to have to pick up a slack and they're going to have to make it for it's an aging community, it's an aging culture.
Guest:And somebody's going to have to make movies for people who want to see movies or have the minutia of like a show on FX like Louis C.K.
Guest:When enough people see him, that's enough.
Guest:And so it's finally going to happen.
Guest:But at any time where there's a consternation or there's a kind of a redo in show business like it was in the late 60s when the old studio system collapsed, it opened up the gates to some interesting stuff.
Guest:And that's what's about to happen now.
Guest:And that's what I think what's interesting with stand-up is we have the complete freedom to do what we want to do on stage.
Guest:And I like that.
Guest:But I'd also like to get back into cinema and do a few movies.
Guest:But the difference now is I don't want to just do a movie to do a movie.
Guest:I want to do a movie because I really like it and because I want to spend a year of my life on it.
Guest:Are you writing any movies?
Guest:Yeah, I'm finishing a movie that's taken me a year to write, and I'm almost done with it, and it's almost tough to say goodbye to it.
Guest:And I feel like, you know, when you're really writing it, when you feel like the characters are talking and you can really see it, and it's emotional, that's really connecting.
Guest:And that's a movie, and I'm going to do it in Spanish, and there's going to be absolutely no money in it, but it's about a...
Guest:a TV novella, because my wife's Mexican, and so she's opened up a whole world to me, and it's about a Mexican soap opera star, TV novella stars, they're bigger than movie stars there.
Guest:Mm-hmm.
Guest:he's gay and he's got to, it's about to come out and he has to marry some pop star, pretend to be with this pop star to, um, um, you know, to cover up for that.
Guest:And it's just a story about the two of them.
Guest:And it's really nice.
Guest:It's just a nice little story that, uh, you know, probably be remade in English and ruined.
Guest:Well, I look forward to that.
Guest:There's that.
Guest:And I'll probably end up playing a girl again in some fucking movie in my fifties.
Marc:Well, thanks for talking to me, Rob.
Marc:It's a pleasure, man.
Yeah.
Marc:All right, that's our show, folks.
Marc:Thank you for hanging out.
Marc:I hope you enjoyed that.
Marc:Again, I will be on Chick McGee's podcast today, off the air, available on iTunes and also at chickmcgee.com.
Marc:And I will also be at the Palace of Fine Arts on Saturday night.
Marc:The 13th, there's a free show of me sort of getting, you know, doing a little workout before my special taping, which is sold out on the 15th at Les Poissons Rouge.
Marc:But there's a free show on the 14th, Sunday night at 10 p.m.
Marc:at Union Hall.
Marc:in brooklyn as always go to wtfpod.com for all your wtfpod needs get on the mailing list kicking a few shekels buy some merch got a new poster up there the boomy lives t-shirts and the coop t-shirts are on their way out so if you want those pick those up uh what else you can go on the comment board if you must try to be pleasant i don't mind arguments i don't mind criticism but don't be a dick all right how's that don't be a dick what else
Marc:Oh, I just burped.
Marc:That is not professional.
Marc:That is not professional.
Marc:Okay, are we good?
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Boomer lives!
Boomer lives!