Episode 36 - Howard Kremer / Darryl Loomis
Guest 3:Lock the gates!
Marc:Are we doing this?
Marc:Really?
Marc:Wait for it.
Marc:Are we doing this?
Marc:Wait for it.
Marc:Pow!
Marc:What the fuck?
Marc:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?
Marc:What's wrong with me?
Marc:It's time for WTF!
Guest 5:What the fuck?
Guest 5:With Mark Maron.
What the fuck?
Marc:okay let's do this okay what the fuckers how's everybody doing it's mark maron this is wtf you are listening to me coming to you live well not live but you know in your head live i'm in the garage at the cat ranch overlooking the barrio of highland park here in los angeles county i hope everybody is okay i hope you made it through the new years okay
Marc:I haven't talked to you since then.
Marc:I know I've had one show up since then, but this is really the first time I will be talking to you in a post-New Year's Eve head.
Marc:I don't know how your New Year's Eve was, but I just let it go by me.
Marc:I just let it drift away.
Marc:I acted like nothing was happening.
Marc:I went out, I got home by quarter to 12, and I did nothing.
Marc:I didn't think about it.
Marc:What I tried to do over New Year's was I tried to introduce a new way of entering the new year to people out in the streets.
Marc:And it's coming at me from all angles because people do this for a few weeks after New Year's Eve.
Marc:Happy New Year.
Marc:Happy New Year.
Marc:That's a lot of pressure.
Marc:Happy New Year.
Marc:Like the whole thing, we're going to forecast that much.
Marc:I can barely handle thinking about tomorrow, let alone the entire year.
Marc:So what I responded with, and I think is not, well, maybe people will see it as negative, but I think instead of saying Happy New Year, we should say, well, we'll see what happens, right?
Marc:I think that's better.
Marc:We'll see what happens.
Marc:And then shrug a little and go, right?
Marc:I think that is a reasonable way to enter the new year.
Marc:You know what, folks?
Marc:I've got to be honest with you.
Marc:I'm jacked out of my head.
Marc:As some of you know,
Marc:Because I tweeted it.
Marc:And by the way, the Twitter thing.
Marc:Listen to me.
Marc:I had to sit down with Doug Benson the other day and we were having a candid chat about this and that.
Marc:And he says to me, you know, I don't understand, Mark, with all the people that you have listening to your show.
Marc:It seems to me that you should have more Twitter followers, more Twitter followers.
Marc:And I thought to myself, I guess that does make sense, Doug.
Marc:I mean, it seems that I should have more Twitter followers.
Marc:And I don't know where you people are.
Marc:I don't know if you're doing that thing.
Marc:But now I feel like I got a small Twitter dick.
Marc:And I had to sit there with Doug Benson with his super high Twitter dick.
Marc:and be like, yeah, I guess I do have a pretty tiny Twitter dick, Doug.
Marc:Why is that, folks?
Marc:I mean, I don't know what I'll do with it, but it is a way for me to keep in touch with you.
Marc:So, you know, if you want to follow me on Twitter, I'm Mark Maron, one word, M-A-R-C-M-A-R-O-N, or you could also follow the show at WTFPod.
Marc:That's on Twitter, too.
Marc:Can we make this happen?
Marc:Because I do not want to be...
Marc:laughed at by the likes of doug benson because of the size of my twitter dick all right and what i how i was going into this and what i meant to talk to you about was that some of you know because i tweeted it because i'm an idiot and i like to do that
Marc:My housemate Stosh got an espresso machine for Christmas.
Marc:I've got a high-end espresso machine sitting in my kitchen now.
Marc:I mean, what the fuck?
Marc:That's like living with a drug dealer.
Marc:What are you kidding me?
Marc:I've been through this before.
Marc:I'm not sure I need this shit.
Marc:I mean, do you know what's coursing through my system right now?
Marc:Right now, as I talk to you...
Marc:It's still morning here in my garage.
Marc:All right.
Marc:I've got 400 milligrams of magnesium pumping through me.
Marc:I got 200 milligrams of CoQ10.
Marc:I got 5,000 milligrams of vitamin D, 50 milligrams of DHEA, 3,000 milligrams of very good wild Alaskan sockeye fish oil.
Marc:I've got 2,000 milligrams of phosphatidylcholine.
Marc:I don't even know what that is.
Marc:And I've had three double expressos and an aspirin.
Marc:And two pieces of nicotine gum.
Marc:I am fucking wasted.
Marc:But I am healthy wasted.
Marc:And you know what?
Marc:JustCoffee.coop makes an espresso.
Marc:I'm sorry.
Marc:I'm saying it wrong, aren't I?
Marc:No emails, please.
Marc:Espresso.
Marc:Espresso.
Marc:Okay?
Marc:Espresso.
Marc:I get it.
Marc:Okay?
Marc:I get it.
Marc:Not expresso.
Marc:Okay?
Marc:But they make one.
Marc:I think it's called Electric Monkey.
Marc:Hold on.
Marc:Let's do it because God knows I need more.
Marc:I'm sure that some of you are thinking, hey, Mark, I don't think you've had enough fucking coffee today.
Marc:But here we go.
Marc:Hold on.
Marc:Wait for it.
Marc:Pow!
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:Not only did I just shit my pants, I think my left eyeball popped out of its socket.
Marc:Hold on.
Marc:It's back in.
Marc:We're ready to go.
Marc:But I know what I'm going to do with this thing.
Marc:I don't know about you, but you get a new thing like that.
Marc:Back when I was drinking, I remember there was one weekend.
Marc:I'm like, I'm going to make the perfect Bloody Mary.
Marc:So how does an alcoholic make a perfect Bloody Mary?
Marc:Well, you got to get the stuff.
Marc:You got to get the equipment.
Marc:This was a weekend project.
Marc:I got two half-gallon bottles of relatively decent vodka, horseradish, tomato juice, limes, salt and pepper,
Marc:Tabasco, Worcestershire.
Marc:And I set out that weekend to make the perfect Bloody Mary.
Marc:This was many years ago.
Marc:And you know what?
Marc:Whether I did or I didn't, I have no recollection of any of it.
Marc:So bottom line, it worked.
Marc:But now I know that with that thing in my kitchen, I've been through this before, man.
Marc:San Francisco, 1992, had an espresso machine every day.
Marc:Time to make the perfect mocha.
Marc:And I was a barista back in another life in Harvard Square before Starbucks when they had the coffee connection down there where coffee was still an art and not just a gimmick.
Marc:We had to make our own cocoa.
Marc:I remember setting out to make the perfect mocha.
Marc:And you can actually drink so much double espresso.
Marc:And believe me, I am on the precipice of it right now.
Marc:where your body uses all its energy to process the caffeine that you put into it, that you are exhausted.
Marc:I'm not there yet.
Marc:I have clarity right now.
Marc:I think you can hear my clarity.
Marc:I'd like to give you a New Year's message, if I could, because I have found this to be helpful, and I don't know if I've shared it here on this show, but here it is.
Marc:This may help you in your day-to-day life.
Marc:Okay?
Marc:I'm not sure if I've told you this before, but I'm going to tell you again.
Marc:In the new year, if you ever are sitting on your couch, just sitting there, defeated, anxious, angry, losing your fucking mind.
Marc:Remember, you're just someone sitting on a couch.
Marc:Do you understand?
Marc:Let me explain it a little differently.
Marc:If I'm sitting on my couch, which I was yesterday, saying like, I'm fucked.
Marc:This is bullshit.
Marc:I'm fucked.
Marc:It's over.
Marc:I'm fucked.
Marc:What I realized in that moment, if I have the mental will, is that whatever I'm responding to, I'm making it up.
Marc:Because really, I'm just a guy sitting on a couch.
Marc:99% of the time, everything that you're fucking freaking out about is being manufactured by your twisted mind.
Marc:So buy yourself a little freedom and just stop that shit when you can in its tracks and do what you can do.
Marc:That's my uplifting message for the day.
Marc:Here's a couple of plugs, if I could.
Marc:I will be in Seattle the 14th, 15th, and 16th of this month, January, at Laughs Comedy Club in Kirkland.
Marc:Looking forward to that.
Marc:Also, just got in touch with my buddy at Fantagraphic Books.
Marc:Might be doing an entire comic book show out there, Fantagraphics.
Marc:Maybe interview a couple of comic book writers and artists and get the lowdown on that business because they're about to send me a Gahan Wilson book.
Marc:He's a great writer.
Marc:a great comic artist and writer that actually changed my life when I was a kid.
Marc:I will be doing a live WTF at UCB here in L.A., the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, at 8 o'clock on January 22nd with Jeff Garland, Jimmy Pardo, Kate Micucci, Eddie Pepitone.
Marc:Should be good.
Marc:I'm thinking about giving away some coffee, maybe giving away some WTF t-shirts, and maybe premiering the new Nerdcock shirts.
Marc:Nerdcock shirts are coming.
Marc:I'm glad a lot of you enjoyed the conversation I had with my almost-doctor friend Steve and also with Dana D'Armond, the adult film actress.
Marc:I have done a little more research into the porn phenomenon in this country, and I will be getting back to you on that.
Marc:That will be somewhat of a recurring theme.
Marc:Thank you for all the emails about the Dyson hand dryer.
Marc:Some guy wrote me and said that...
Marc:that he was so excited when he first experienced that Dyson hand dryer that he wanted to put his balls in it.
Marc:I appreciate you being candid, and I appreciate your reaching out.
Marc:You know, I'm pretty open.
Marc:I'm pretty honest with you people.
Marc:And I'm not saying I don't have shame.
Marc:I do.
Marc:There are things I'm ashamed of.
Marc:I am not without secrets.
Marc:I am not completely proud of myself.
Marc:But I do try to be honest with you people.
Marc:And I'm going to tell you something now that...
Marc:that I really had to, I really had to, I fought with this.
Marc:I lost a little sleep last night.
Marc:Cause I think in like, you know, I'm honest with my listeners and they need to know some stuff or, you know, maybe, you know, that's just the kind of broadcasting I do.
Marc:And I was fighting with something folks and it was hard for me.
Marc:And, uh, cause I was wondering whether or not I should tell you.
Marc:And, um, you know, you know, I kept waking up worrying about it.
Marc:You know, it happened two days ago and, uh,
Marc:I don't know how to feel about it.
Marc:You know, I guess I do feel ashamed.
Marc:And I do.
Marc:I don't really know what to do with these feelings.
Marc:And I think when you have those, the best that you can do is is share the experience with somebody you trust.
Marc:And get it out of you.
Marc:So you disarm it a little bit by giving it to somebody else, by trusting them with whatever it is that you're ashamed of.
Marc:Okay, so two days ago, as you guys know, I get screeners because I'm a member of a guild, one or two guilds, so they send you all these screeners every year of movies that need to be voted on for awards and whatnot.
Marc:And, well, I'm sitting at home, and I... Oh, God.
Marc:Um...
Marc:I watched Julie and Julia with Meryl Streep, and I loved it.
Marc:Okay, I'm just putting that out there.
Marc:Okay?
Marc:I'm getting a little emotional now.
Marc:Only because I just don't know who I am anymore.
Marc:But I loved it.
Marc:And I think it had something to do with the cooking.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:But I hope you guys don't judge me too hard and that you understand that I trust you with this stuff.
Marc:And I don't want you to go telling anybody about it.
Marc:Well, Howard Kramer did show up finally this week.
Marc:We want to thank his brother again for coming.
Marc:But let's talk to Howard now.
Guest 6:You might even have a little bit extra volume.
Guest 6:Well, I want to get you up to where I am.
Guest 6:I know, but it's going to hurt my ears if we talk that way.
Guest 6:No, I can turn down the headphones.
Guest 6:I would say less in the cans.
Guest 6:There you go.
Guest 6:All right, looks like we got a good level there.
Guest 6:Nice, yeah.
Marc:Yeah?
Marc:You feel good about it?
Marc:I feel very good.
Marc:I'm no professional, you know?
Marc:I'm not a professional.
Marc:Right, but you're close enough.
Guest 6:I'm getting there.
Guest 6:I think you're a business card away from being a professional sound engineer.
Guest 6:Is that all it takes?
Guest 6:Well, I think I can see with your skill level, all you need is just a decision to go pro.
Marc:Well, you know, when you really see the sound professional skill level is when, you know, during the actual interview, they're working the knobs.
Marc:Right.
Marc:You know, I don't even know where to start this, for fuck's sake.
Marc:Start by not having that.
Marc:What, putting a wad of gum on my computer?
Marc:This is...
Marc:This is nicotine gum.
Marc:Oh.
Marc:It's not just any gum.
Guest 6:I'm just afraid I'm going to eat it because it looks like a piece of popcorn.
Guest 6:I'm afraid I'm just going to reach over.
Marc:He's just going to reach over and eat the one piece of popcorn?
Marc:You would eat a stranded piece of popcorn at someone's house?
Guest 6:Yeah.
Marc:If I'm working hard to think and talk, I might just reach over and like, I thought that was popcorn, but no, it's a wad of gum.
Marc:Either way, a singular piece of popcorn or a wad of gum taken off a desk and put in your mouth reveals a problem, Howard.
Marc:Well, do you have a compulsive eating thing?
Marc:Be honest.
Guest 6:I don't.
Guest 6:I just think that I feel so comfortable here.
Guest 6:We're kindred spirits that I'll just feel like I'm at my house with my.
Guest 6:There you go.
Guest 6:Right.
Guest 6:Okay.
Guest 6:I put it back in my mouth.
Marc:I will risk the integrity.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:My guest is Howard Kramer.
Marc:Is that how you say it?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You do?
Marc:You say it like that?
Marc:Like if someone were to say, how do you say your name?
Marc:How would it be?
Guest 6:I would say Howard Kramer, but unless I was making reservations or something over the phone, I would say Kramer just so that I wouldn't have to go through the whole explaining.
Guest 6:The E. Right.
Guest 6:But you say Kramer.
Guest 6:It is Kramer.
Guest 6:The whole family says Kramer.
Marc:Who am I to correct them?
Guest 6:Yeah.
Guest 6:I think we got falsely corrected back in the Ellis Island days.
Guest 6:You did?
Guest 6:Yeah.
Guest 6:The grandfather, great-grandfather came over and said his name, and I think they spelled it wrong at Ellis Island or something like that.
Marc:So you think it was originally Kramer?
Marc:Or it's probably Kramerinsky-ish in Pinsky.
Guest 6:I don't know if it had the stuff.
Guest 6:Yeah.
Guest 6:That square.
Guest 6:Yeah, no?
Guest 6:No, I think it was always Kramer, but I think he probably came over and he was tired from the boat trip and went, and they got as close as they could.
Marc:His mouth was swollen from gout or something.
Marc:I don't even know if your mouth swells from gout.
Marc:Well, I'll be honest with you, as I am with many people who come on this show.
Marc:It took us a long time to get to know each other.
Marc:And quite honestly, when I first saw you, I didn't know what the fuck to make of you.
Marc:Stay with me.
Marc:You felt that way too?
Marc:Well, not about me, not about you.
Marc:Oh, I saw you, and when I met you, you had bleach blonde hair.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And it was in a sort of crew cut.
Marc:You're very intense.
Marc:I didn't know what you did.
Marc:Right.
Marc:I'd never seen you on stage.
Marc:You were hanging around with very powerful people.
Marc:Right.
Marc:That's true.
Marc:And I was like, who the fuck is this guy?
Marc:What does he do?
Marc:And then something happened when I saw you perform recently once you grew your hair out and became...
Marc:who you are today right i was like holy fuck this guy's fucking funny thanks yeah and you do it you actually integrate music successfully into your show which is not easy it's not easy it's a lot of work you are known also on vinyl can i say vinyl sure as dragon boy suede dragon boy suede yeah that's my rap name how did that happen what made you decide to do rap
Guest 6:um i always want i always wanted to do i was wanted to do music i was always in bands and stuff and then um like what did you play in the band guitar yeah guitar and bass did you sing i sang too yeah what was the name of your bands we were called must readjust must readjust yeah was that a punk rock outfit yes sir okay good for you how was the hair then uh it was a casual mohawk oh not hardcore still a little hair on the sides
Guest 6:Uh, well, just soft on top, not all sticky pointy.
Guest 6:Oh, okay.
Guest 6:And then, like, stuff shaved into the sides, like I had a stick figure on one side and an arrow on the other side.
Guest 6:An arrow and a stick figure.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That fucking is punk rock.
Guest 6:You know what?
Guest 6:Yeah.
Guest 6:I will admit this.
Guest 6:After so many years, it was more Vision Quest than punk rock.
Ha, ha, ha.
Guest 6:Remember that?
Guest 6:Yeah, kind of do.
Guest 6:In what way?
Guest 6:Well, Matthew Modine was the star wrestler, and then he had a friend who had a mohawk.
Guest 6:And I just thought, I remember going to the movies and thinking that mohawk was cool, and then I got a mohawk.
Marc:Oh, man.
Marc:Well, now we know the truth.
Marc:Any fans out there of Must Readjust whose dreams are shattered?
Marc:You heard it here first.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Was that the only band, or was there another one?
Guest 6:We had Us Snappin' Box, we were called.
Marc:Us Snappin' Box?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:As in A Snappin' Box?
Guest 6:Yeah.
Guest 6:Because we used to go to this flea market in New Jersey, and there was this old guy there, and he sold musical instruments.
Guest 6:I'll make this quick.
Guest 6:He would always pull out 8x10s of old starlets and tell us that he had sex with them.
Guest 6:And he would pull out a woman from the 40s and go, she had a snappin' box real tight.
Yeah.
Marc:That story is so good that I wish the band was still together.
Guest 6:I wish too, maybe.
Guest 6:So you could tell that story everywhere.
Guest 6:Like on stage at Madison Square Garden Street.
Marc:Right, right.
Marc:Or on radio shows in the morning.
Marc:So what about that name?
Marc:Where'd you get that name?
Marc:That's a pretty unique name, and you get to tell that story, and every morning crew would be like, Oh, no!
Guest 6:Oh, no!
Guest 6:Oh, no!
Guest 6:Oh, honk, honk.
Marc:Oh, boy.
Marc:Bing, bing, bing, bing.
Marc:Holy mackerel.
Guest 6:Yeah, our name's from an old man with a van that says he had sex with... With like who?
Guest 6:Like, how old were the starwits?
Guest 6:They were like women who, you know, there'd be like a coconut in their hair.
Marc:Oh, like Carmen Miranda?
Marc:Yeah, it was like... That era?
Marc:That era, yeah.
Marc:That's spectacular.
Marc:He was old in like the mid-80s.
Marc:So you came from New Jersey.
Marc:I think that's another reason why we ultimately bonded, because I think the big bonding moment for us was in Vancouver, for some reason.
Marc:Absolutely.
Marc:It was backstage in Vancouver, where we had this moment where we realized, after watching a couple of our peers go on in front of 2,000 people and meander through a notebook-laced set.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And you went out there and just fucking delivered the goods, and then I went out there and delivered the goods.
Marc:We had this moment where we're like, we're professionals.
Guest 6:yeah we're the pros up here yeah yeah we didn't show up with our pad no not at this not at this thing it was it wasn't that the feeling yeah absolutely it was like these guys that i've they were they were older guys they tv guys yeah but it was fun to be able to look down on them that night yeah yeah get your shit together the two guys that no one knows just fucking fed you your uh yeah whatever the expression is
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So let's talk about the record, Dragon Boy Suede.
Marc:Yes, sir.
Marc:How'd you come up with the moniker?
Guest 6:Oh, that's... I had this character that I was writing.
Guest 6:This was a comedy character.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest 6:His name was Dragon Boy Suede.
Guest 6:He was half superhero, half porn star.
Guest 6:Right.
Guest 6:And then...
Guest 6:Trey and Matt from South Park.
Guest 6:They came out with Orgasmo.
Guest 6:Remember that movie?
Guest 6:Yeah, I do.
Guest 6:And I didn't see it, but I know that it had something to do with the guy being a superhero, half superhero porn star.
Marc:And you were like, they stepped on my shit.
Marc:It's done.
Marc:They stepped on the shit that hadn't left my head yet.
Guest 6:Right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I hate that one.
Guest 6:So then I started recording rap soon after that and just said, I'm going to take that name.
Marc:Well, one of the great things about your stage show is that, and it's very funny,
Marc:i think is when you you throw to the uh to your dj right column yeah who's supposedly in the back of the room but isn't to uh to start spinning what he does right so you can do your song and you never get to the song right but people don't realize about howard kramer is that there are songs right now let's start with this one let's start with uh wolves because i think that's the big hit right now a little backstory on that
Guest 6:Basically, it's just a song for anyone who's been in a relationship where the other person likes to run their mouth and talk too much and be sassy.
Guest 6:So how would you set it up if you were thrown into this song?
Guest 6:I would say, this next song is a tale of revenge.
Guest 6:This next song is for anyone who's been in a relationship with someone who likes to talk back, give you a lip.
Guest 6:It's called You Won't Sass Me Like That When I Can Summon Wolves.
Guest 3:Standing alone by the edge of the woods.
Guest 4:What am I doing?
Guest 4:Something not good.
Guest 4:I'm practicing a skill of a unique kind.
Guest 4:How to summon wolves with my mind.
Guest 4:Is that too much?
Guest 4:It drives me nuts.
Guest 4:I've asked you to stop.
Guest 4:You won't let up.
Guest 4:But we'll see if you keep talking size.
Guest 4:When you're strapped in the wrath of a wolf attack.
Guest 4:What's nipping at your arm?
Guest 4:One's nipping at your legs.
Guest 4:One's lunging at your shoestring.
Guest 4:Causing you to rethink the way you do things.
Guest 4:In a while, you will lose that smile when they get up on your Jack London style.
Guest 4:Then you'll regret all the crap you pull.
Guest 4:You won't shat me like that when I kiss some wolves.
Guest 3:You never listen to me.
Guest 3:You never listen to me.
Guest 4:You need like a kid.
Guest 4:Are you going to wear that?
Guest 4:We forgot our 11th month anniversary.
Guest 4:Duh!
Guest 4:You've always lived out here.
Marc:When did you come out here?
Guest 6:I came out here in 98 after we did Awesome Stories, a show on MTV.
Marc:Oh, that's where you started.
Marc:See, if I'd done my research as a good interviewer, because I knew that in the back of my head, but I don't ever really remember watching it.
Marc:That was a sort of like slacker, Linkletter, ripoff show that they ran on MTV.
Guest 6:Yeah, you could say that.
Guest 6:It was like a first sitcom without laugh track, sort of.
Guest 6:And was it all improvised mostly?
Guest 6:Yeah.
Guest 6:No, it was scripted.
Guest 6:So you lived in Austin.
Guest 6:You went from New Jersey to Austin?
Guest 6:Yeah, great.
Guest 6:Strange career move, but it sort of almost worked out.
Marc:Well, it doesn't sound to me like it was a career move as much as it was like where's the next cool place or where's the first cool place because you could either go to New York or you could be exotic because Austin's pretty cool.
Guest 6:Yeah, well, it was actually a reaction against New York.
Guest 6:I'd been in New York and was burnt out on it quick, and then I just wanted to go somewhere to kind of relax and not be in New York, so I went to Austin.
Marc:And you started doing comedy in earnest there?
Marc:Yes, sir.
Marc:So that was the big break.
Marc:And then he came out here and you dyed your hair white.
Guest 6:I was doing a pilot for Comedy Central, and that was the idea for the character.
Guest 6:That was a Bob Odenkirk project?
Guest 6:Yeah, it was his idea.
Guest 6:I'm not saying it was a bad idea, but it was his idea.
Guest 6:It was like, you should do something extreme with your hair.
Marc:Right.
Marc:That's easy for the guy who doesn't have to be on camera to say.
Guest 6:Yeah, I remember walking around town after that and getting laughed at, especially people that don't really know me.
Guest 6:They go, oh, there's that guy.
Guest 6:Oh, and he died.
Guest 6:That's what I did.
Guest 6:That's how I reacted.
Guest 6:So what happened to that pilot?
Guest 6:We shot it, and they didn't like it enough to air it.
Marc:Oh, well.
Guest 6:It was funny, though.
Guest 6:Oh, God.
Marc:Fucking show business.
Marc:What are we going to do when this doesn't work out?
Guest 6:Do you have a plan?
Guest 6:When?
Guest 6:It's already not working out.
Marc:I think you already say we missed the boat on having a plan B.
Marc:I think it could work out from here on out.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:No, I feel what I'm starting to learn is, and I think this is just with life in general, is at some point you're going to have to give up the big dream, accept what is, and learn how to survive with that.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And accept that.
Marc:Unfortunately, most other people do it in their early teens.
Marc:Right.
Marc:You know, it's sort of like, you know, I think the analogy is that, you know,
Marc:For other people that aren't in show business, I think the same analogy would be that if you were still 40 saying, yeah, I can still be an astronaut.
Marc:There's no reason.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:To let that go.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:I mean, I can do anything I want.
Marc:Anything.
Guest 6:You still say that every morning.
Guest 6:It's funny.
Guest 6:If you're an athlete, it's over quick.
Guest 6:If you haven't done it by the time you're 22, you're done.
Guest 6:Right.
Marc:Then you know.
Marc:If you didn't pop big enough to get some sponsorship or to be a teacher, it's done.
Guest 6:Right, but with showbiz, you can keep doing this until you're 80 and say, well, you know.
Marc:Yeah, so-and-so didn't make it until he was 79.
Marc:Yeah, Rodney.
Marc:Right, so you do that too.
Marc:You had to keep moving your heroes up in proportion to when they became successful age-wise.
Guest 6:Absolutely.
Guest 6:Chip just gave me, writing partner Chip Pope from Austin Stories, he just gave me a new one last week.
Guest 6:It was some author who wasn't published until he was 57.
Guest 6:Who was that?
Guest 6:Boy.
Guest 6:It's not going to help you if you can't use it.
Marc:I want to say Herman Wolk, but I don't know if that's right.
Marc:Herman Wolk.
Marc:The thing about writers is that most people don't.
Marc:I mean, I know who he is.
Marc:I haven't read his book, but yeah.
Marc:Yeah, but Rodney Dainfield's one.
Marc:And then there's, you know, you got Louis Black in his early 50s before he popped after doing it forever.
Marc:Right.
Marc:You got Belzer, who was known but didn't really pop until he got the TV show.
Marc:Right.
Marc:You know, you've got...
Marc:I'm tapped out.
Marc:That's all I got.
Marc:Well, that's the other question about it is integrity.
Marc:What are you willing to do and not do to be a star?
Guest 6:Thank you.
Guest 6:That is huge.
Guest 6:It's going on right under our noses right now.
Guest 6:What's happening?
Guest 6:Well, I mean, it's like with all these stuff on the internet with all the sites and all that stuff like that.
Guest 2:Yeah, that kind of thing.
Guest 6:Yeah.
Guest 6:I mean, this has integrity.
Guest 6:I feel like it's two guys talking.
Guest 6:It's informative.
Guest 6:Yeah.
Guest 6:But just the whole explosion in the last few years of people promoting themselves on the internet, a lot of times you wind up finding about the best promoters instead of finding about the best comedy.
Marc:Yeah, I think that's true.
Marc:And I still think that eventually you still got to see who's still coming out the third time you go through town.
Marc:I don't really worry about that stuff so much because I don't know much about the internet, but I know that there's a lot of shit out there and there's not a lot of people making that much money off it.
Marc:but self-promotion is what it is and i don't fucking know hey how about this song yeah let's talk about music uplifting stuff yeah let's go to the next uplifting dragon boy suede song which is buy you clothes do you in them take them back yeah throw to it baby this song you know before i got into the rap game i didn't have a lot of cash i had to think of creative things to keep the ladies interested this song is called buy you clothes do you in them take them back
Guest 4:Listen up, girl.
Guest 4:I got an idea that you're gonna hear.
Guest 4:Come here, let me hear.
Guest 4:As I explain a way we could shop all day and get real freaky.
Guest 4:Are you ready?
Guest 4:Okay.
Guest 4:We go to the mall and hit the doors.
Guest 4:May you shoot me?
Guest 4:Bye.
Guest 4:Bye.
Guest 4:Bye.
Guest 4:Bye.
Guest 4:Bye.
Bye.
Marc:Let's talk about the ladies.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Is that song based on truth?
Guest 6:Not really.
Guest 6:I've thought about doing that, but it just seems like too much effort.
Guest 6:Yeah.
Marc:I have to buy more presents.
Marc:Do you buy women presents?
Guest 6:No, but I know that they work like crazy.
Marc:It's a very easy thing to do, unless you get the wrong present.
Marc:There's nothing worse than the, you know, the deliberation, like, I'm going to buy her this.
Marc:And then you're like, here you go, baby.
Marc:And you can just see beneath her, you know, half smile that you've fucked up.
Guest 6:Right.
Marc:You got to buy him though.
Guest 6:Was it, this was for like Christmas or this was for a holiday?
Marc:It'll happen at some point in a relationship.
Marc:You're going to get the wrong present.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And the problem is if you're actually in a relationship with him, then it becomes this thing that that'll eventually eat at the relationship because after a certain amount of time, you're like, Hey, how come you're not wearing that thing?
Marc:Right.
Marc:She's like, I just, it doesn't fit this thing.
Marc:And then like months go by.
Marc:It's like, you never wear that thing.
Marc:And then eventually it's like, why the fuck didn't you just tell me when I got it that you didn't like it?
Marc:It wasn't like it was cheap and now I can't even fucking bring it back.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Oh, you're crying now because you didn't have the guts to tell me you didn't like the present.
Marc:What do I care?
Marc:I would have rather gotten you something you want.
Marc:Where are you going?
Right.
Guest 6:This is so intense live, ladies and gentlemen, that I feel like I am the woman who's yelling at you.
Marc:So you haven't had that experience?
Marc:What's the longest relationship you've been in?
Marc:And we don't have to go into this area if you're not comfortable with it.
Guest 6:No, we can go in.
Guest 6:I think on purpose, the longest was like a year.
Guest 6:And then I've been in other relationships where, you know, it went a lot longer.
Guest 6:But it was, I don't know, I got hoodwinked or something.
Marc:How does that work?
Marc:What do you mean hoodwinked?
Guest 6:someone wants to move in with you you go no i don't think we should do that you know i think even when i get married i won't live in like i my ideal situation is i if i do get married is i have a house i buy the house next door the wife and the kids live in the house well that's better than like i have a house she lives in the shed
Marc:Right.
Marc:No.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:So the big dream is when everything turns around and you become an astronaut.
Marc:Right.
Marc:When I grow up.
Marc:You get two houses, one for you and one for the woman that you're dating, not even married to.
Marc:Yeah, probably dating.
Marc:And maybe that should be a house that you just have available for that.
Marc:Like one woman moves in.
Marc:If you break up, you get a new woman and you walk in and you go, how do you want to decorate?
Marc:Well, who lived here before?
Marc:No, I just got this place.
Marc:But I thought maybe since you were going to live here.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:It's like my house?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:For now, it's your house.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Feel at home here.
Marc:Yeah, absolutely.
Marc:A lot of people, I've read that some people have separate bedrooms, which makes sense.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I have a hard time sleeping with people.
Guest 6:Yeah, I'm the same way.
Guest 6:And then, you know, if they have a dog or something, the dog's going to come sleep in the bed and it makes a lot of noise.
Guest 6:Yeah, that's a dog issue.
Guest 6:Yeah.
Guest 6:But...
Guest 6:Yeah, so they want to move in.
Guest 6:Yeah.
Guest 6:They want to move in and then you say, no, that's not a good idea.
Guest 6:And then they go, hey, I decided to end my lease at my place while I look for another place.
Marc:That's how they do it without asking you directly.
Guest 6:Yeah, and then a couple months go by, and they go, well, I have to move out now, and I almost found a place, so I'll come stay with you.
Guest 6:Uh-oh.
Guest 6:And then they'll go, hey, my couch is nicer than the couch you have.
Guest 6:Why don't we go get that out of storage?
Guest 6:And then the next thing you know.
Guest 6:Yeah, all your stuff is gone.
Guest 6:You're still in the same place.
Guest 6:She wants to move to a bigger place.
Guest 6:And then it's a job.
Marc:Then you need to make money.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Well, maybe if you didn't... This is a classic radio segue.
Marc:Well, maybe if you weren't so good, you wouldn't have this problem with the ladies.
Marc:Why don't you throw Do I Heal With My Steel?
Marc:I saw where you were going.
Marc:I saw you working there.
Marc:You saw that coming around the corner?
Guest 6:Yeah.
Guest 6:All right.
Guest 6:Yeah.
Guest 6:This song is about the curative powers of my sexual...
Guest 6:It's like sexual healing, I guess.
Guest 6:Yeah.
Guest 6:Yeah.
Guest 6:It's like sexual healing.
Guest 6:Do you actually introduce that song on stage with a question like that?
Guest 6:Or you've never done that?
Guest 6:You've seen me.
Guest 6:You've seen the way I work.
Guest 6:It's a mess.
Guest 6:I'm not asking for you to do your bits.
Guest 6:I was asking to set up a song.
Guest 6:Okay, you're right.
Guest 6:You're right.
Guest 6:Let me get straight here.
Guest 6:This song is about the curative powers of my hoang.
Yeah.
Guest 6:That was so worth it.
Marc:That was so worth it.
Guest 6:It's called I Heal With My Steel.
Guest 4:Ladies, listen up, Dragon Boy Suede will make you feel better, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
Guest 4:Let's listen to case study number one.
Guest 4:I met a homeless chick, her name was Daisy.
Guest 4:She stood around acting all crazy, talking to herself, muttering obscenities.
Guest 4:Her crib was a cardboard box with no amenities.
Guest 4:She looked like she just crawled out the sewer.
Guest 4:I walked over, introduced myself to her, said I goes by the name of Dragon Boy.
Guest 4:It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance today.
Guest 4:Went back to her cardboard box, stripped down to her shoes and socks.
Guest 4:Laid her down, kissed her gently, then I threw up the bang of the shit tree.
Guest 4:All of a sudden, she felt great.
Guest 4:She got her mind back, she could think straight.
Guest 4:Today, she's the president of her own company.
Guest 4:She clans this to the night she was helping me.
Guest 4:I healed with the steel.
Guest 5:We'll be right back.
Guest 4:For this next adventure, we take you to the site of a gentleman's club.
Guest 4:Of a gentleman's club.
Guest 4:I met another chick, she only had one leg.
Guest 4:She stripped at the club in a pirate deck.
Guest 4:I took her backstage, threw her a pump.
Guest 4:She grew back the leg where there used to be a pump.
Guest 4:Her friend walked out, scoliosis up the spine.
Guest 4:Matagosis eight inches up high.
Guest 4:The good wood milk, the crickled up wine Brought a white, brought a baby back in a straight line And another came back, then another, then another They formed that line, one in front of the other I healed them all, my body and soul Now they got that smile when they up on the pole From their head to their throat, they got it going on Their bodies are fixed and their problems are gone And I'm making much cash every time they do a dance Cause they visited the practitioner in my pants I heal with the steel
Guest 4:Steal with the steel.
Guest 4:In this last verse, Dragon Boy's suede is presented with a moral quandary.
Guest 4:Check it out.
Guest 4:I heard about a chick.
Guest 4:She was about to die.
Guest 4:I raced to a hospital room to save her life.
Guest 4:But she had not yet reached the legal age of consent.
Guest 4:She was still jailbreak.
Guest 4:The only thing that could save her from her fate was considered about the state to be statutes or be rape.
Guest 4:What a waste.
Guest 4:Such a shame.
Guest 4:She passed away before the morning came.
Guest 4:I just sat
Guest 4:Welcome back to the land of the living.
Guest 4:I heal with the steel.
Guest 4:Yes, you know, I took the hypocritical, so I, whatever L's ya, I mail ya.
Marc:So, Howard, I want you to feel like you've shared enough and you've expressed yourself in the way that you want.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Do you feel that way?
Guest 6:Yeah, let me think.
Guest 6:Is there anything else?
Guest 6:Well, we've only got a half hour right now.
Marc:Did you want to do more time?
Guest 6:No, because I think they get a little bit of talking, and then the songs, let's get them in that rhythm.
Guest 6:I'll come back again.
Guest 6:I'll be a repeat guest, and we'll talk more.
Marc:Well, you know what we should do is do some characters that fool people.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Like, I've had some people on the show that some people don't know were characters.
Guest 6:Okay.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So if you want to do any... You just tell me the angle, and I'll be the straight guy.
Marc:I like doing the straight guy.
Marc:I'm very good at it.
Guest 6:Well, I could do my brother...
Marc:You can?
Marc:You're not doing as much of your brother as you used to.
Marc:That was a favorite character of yours.
Guest 6:Yeah, I used to do with my brother.
Guest 6:Talk like, oh, doing a podcast in a garage.
Guest 6:Oh, good career move.
Guest 6:What does he do?
Guest 6:He's a CPA.
Guest 6:My dad's an accountant, and then he's a CPA.
Guest 6:And then he tried to get away from it, and then couldn't get away from it.
Guest 6:So he said, I'm resigned to my fate.
Guest 6:i'll just do it do you get along with him we sort of get along i mean well we we fight a lot but i guess that's just brotherly stuff but he's getting married in january i gotta i'm gonna be the best man at his wedding in january oh you're gonna step up to the plate for your bro yeah bro well i appreciate you coming man yeah howard kramer aka dragon boy suede
Guest 4:Anything you want, we're gonna shop until you're dropping.
Guest 4:We won't stop until you're popping every outfit in the shop.
Guest 4:But just remember that it's going, baby, right back where we got it.
Guest 4:If you're thinking about keeping anything, forget about it.
Guest 4:Gucce, ferrucce Prada Got you looking like a model Getting busy and a lot of stuff That winds up costing not a penny No, not a nickel or a dime Man or boo, it's kind of wrong Technically, it's not a crime I'm gonna You in Dior, I wanna You in Batana, I wanna You in Burberry, I'm ready to get it on I wanna You in Gabbana, I wanna You in Bijou, I wanna You in Valentin
Guest 4:and plant a BCBG too.
Guest 4:Give me one of those and two of those with open toes and three or four of every skirt and shirt and jacket in this store.
Guest 4:And pick out anything you want, baby, no matter what the value.
Guest 4:Just be careful later on that nothing rips while I plow you.
Marc:Okay, folks, as you know, I have been unorthodox in my guest booking, and I do try to help.
Marc:I do maybe not as much research as I should around the guests I have, but this guy, Daryl Loomis.
Marc:was referred to me by somebody who I know from a certain organization that I'm involved with.
Marc:And I try to help out.
Marc:I do try to help out.
Marc:And I know that when I was a teenager, I used drugs and I drank a lot.
Marc:It was just part of it for me.
Marc:And in retrospect, I don't regret anything.
Marc:But certainly I wasn't aware that it could cause a problem necessarily or that I would have that problem.
Marc:But my guest, Daryl Loomis, how are you, sir?
Marc:I'm fine, thanks.
Marc:Has been reaching out to teens about drugs, which is a tremendous problem still to this day.
Marc:And there are new drugs.
Marc:I've got to be honest with you, Daryl, as a...
Marc:As a guy in my mid-40s who hasn't done drugs or drank for 10 years, there are certain drugs that weren't even around when I was a kid.
Marc:And I have to fight the jealousy because I know that I can't use drugs safely.
Marc:Now, your organization is SAT, which I guess is a riff on the test, right?
Guest 1:That was the idea, correct.
Guest 1:Essentially what our organization, Safe Abuse Technologies, is setting out to do is to sort of pioneer a new approach in terms of addressing what has been now for several generations a significant issue with our young people.
Guest 1:And indeed, a lot of their parents today, you're not alone being somebody in their 40s who has had experience, suffered some negative consequences, and quite likely could have avoided them had you had the level of intervention and education that is now available to us through research.
Guest 1:SAT.
Marc:SAT, let me just understand.
Marc:A couple questions.
Marc:I'd like to get the real details.
Marc:Now, your experiences in teen counseling.
Guest 1:Correct.
Guest 1:Teen counseling, teen mentoring is where my career started.
Guest 1:I, too, am an individual that had a significant amount of experience with substance abuse.
Guest 1:And for many years talking with kids, I kept that a secret.
Guest 1:I discovered that when I began to get honest with kids about the experiences that I had, I got a significant amount of positive response.
Guest 1:And the openness and the attraction of that kind of conversation with a teenager was...
Guest 1:was surprising and inspirational, and that's where I developed SAT, which is Safe Abuse Technologies.
Marc:Now, so you're getting kids off drugs.
Marc:I mean, this is the basic premise of what we're doing here, right?
Guest 1:That's a good question.
Guest 1:It's quite different.
Guest 1:Now, intervention would be a process where there is a young person or anybody that is suffering from an addiction.
Guest 1:An addiction, I think your listeners need to know, is defined by the World Health Organization as the continued compulsive abuse of a substance despite negative consequences to the user.
Guest 1:What we're doing is we're addressing the issue before it becomes an addiction.
Guest 1:That's great.
Guest 1:Exactly.
Guest 1:Thank you.
Guest 1:The teenage brain, as many people may or may not know, actually, is controlled primarily by the amygdala.
Guest 1:The amygdala is the part of the brain that doesn't recognize fear, is very forgetful and needs to be constantly stimulated.
Guest 1:That's what we're dealing with when we talk to teenagers.
Guest 1:So when you show them a scary video about what marijuana could possibly do or intoxication could possibly do, it's going to have little or no effect.
Guest 1:Right.
Guest 1:A teenager is interested in trying substances.
Guest 1:Right.
Guest 1:They just are.
Guest 1:We know that the amount of money that's put into advertising and exposure and mixed messages have left a lot of teenagers confused.
Guest 1:But 60% of high school seniors have used mood and mind-altering substances.
Guest 2:Okay.
Guest 1:With that information, SAT sets out to say, okay, we accept it.
Guest 1:You're going to do it.
Guest 1:Let's help you do it safely.
Guest 1:Let's provide information to have you avoid addiction and overdose.
Okay.
Marc:Now, if I'm understanding you properly, and I'm not sure this is orthodox, you're providing a safe environment for kids to do drugs in?
Guest 1:SAT is not providing any environments.
Guest 1:SAT is not providing any substances whatsoever.
Guest 1:We're purely providing informational resources.
Guest 1:Any one of our clients will sign a waiver and a contract that essentially holds them responsible.
Guest 1:Wait, you mean the parents?
Guest 1:Yes, indeed.
Guest 1:The primary caregivers, the adults.
Marc:How do you get the parents involved with this?
Marc:Parents are frustrated.
Marc:Do you pitch them some other angle?
Marc:I understand they're frustrated, but you're saying that you're going to sit down with the parents and their teenage kid and get high.
Guest 1:That's what I'm saying.
Guest 1:That's what SAT is saying.
Guest 1:We're going to let them have a mood and mind-altering experience.
Guest 1:We're going to talk them through it.
Guest 1:We're going to really kind of encourage... Because I'm looking at the press materials here.
Marc:Is this part of the Hi Mommy, Hi Daddy program?
Guest 1:High Mom, High Dad is our programs designed for the entire family.
Guest 1:The Family Stone is what we call this particular offering, and it gets the parents to indulge with their young people so that there can be a shared experience.
Marc:And what happens?
Guest 1:We have a mood and mind-altering experience.
Guest 1:We create a genetic sequence within our brain using mood and mind-altering hallucinogenic tricks.
Guest 1:Like what?
Guest 1:Well, now that you bring it up, a drug of choice among many teens is salvia.
Guest 1:I don't know if you or your listeners are familiar.
Marc:I heard a little bit about that.
Marc:There's videos of salvia trips.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Very fast action.
Guest 1:Google salvia and you're going to have a plethora of live action video and information.
Guest 1:Much of it is correct.
Guest 1:There's a lot of misinformation.
Guest 1:Let me tell you a little bit about salvia.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:Okay.
Guest 1:Salvia comes from the mint family.
Guest 1:Right.
Guest 1:It's basically a sage and it grows relatively easily throughout the U.S.
Guest 1:In fact, pretty much all environments.
Yeah.
Guest 1:The effects on a human being primarily are gained through smoking salvia, much like one would smoke marijuana from a bong or a pipe.
Guest 1:You could even roll it up with tobacco.
Guest 1:It's a very, very significant hallucinogenic experience, and that's where essentially the two sides of a human being's brain, logic and creativity, intertwine into what is a waking dream.
Marc:Oh, you don't got to tell me.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:So this, however, is unlike any other hallucinogen that perhaps you and other parents may have been exposed to.
Guest 1:This lasts approximately 20 minutes in most cases.
Guest 1:20 minutes is the length of the hallucinogenic experience.
Marc:It comes on pretty quick, I think.
Guest 1:It comes on in about 20 seconds.
Guest 1:However, the user needs to know that if there is a psychiatric break, which means that the brain is overreacting to the hallucinogen, there is evidence that shows that there have been some teenagers that have needed hospitalization afterwards.
Guest 1:so that there has to be some arrangements made for an ambulance.
Marc:And the benefit of this is what?
Guest 1:We believe that the whole impetus, the whole desire to use drugs is the forbidden fruit syndrome will evaporate because it's like, I can do this if I want to.
Guest 1:Look at Amsterdam.
Marc:How much drugs do you use?
Guest 1:Me personally?
Yeah.
Guest 1:Based on what I'm... You've got to practice what you preach.
Guest 1:So I smoke marijuana on a daily basis.
Guest 1:I drink to intoxication two or three times a week.
Guest 1:I do use hallucinogenic drugs approximately three times a month.
Guest 1:Have you smoked this salvia shit?
Guest 1:Well...
Guest 1:If I can make a proposition, and I'm not sure how you'd feel about this, and certainly I'm not going to ask you to sign anything, but in my possession, incidentally, this is not a crime in Southern California.
Marc:Okay.
Guest 1:I am in possession of salvia.
Guest 1:Here it is, as you see.
Guest 1:Oh, my God.
Guest 1:It has sort of a texture very much like tobacco.
Marc:It looks like mint.
Marc:It does look like mint.
Guest 1:It looks like tea.
Guest 1:And here's the first lesson.
Guest 1:We want to show the children what it is so that they know what it is that they're getting and they're not confused by some moron that comes with oregano or some other substance.
Guest 1:Hold on.
Marc:Let me just look at it.
Guest 1:It comes in a little bag.
Guest 1:You can purchase this at pretty much any head shop.
Guest 1:Hold on.
Marc:Yeah, it smells like a spice.
Guest 1:It is a spice, essentially.
Guest 1:That's the origin of it.
Guest 1:Well, this is an ideal situation, and something that I had not really thought I was going to propose, but I'm going to go ahead and do it.
Guest 1:I am going to inhale what amounts to the average amount of salvia that a teenager would inhale, and it's just a bowl.
Guest 1:I have a marijuana pipe here.
Marc:Okay, so wait, what's going to fucking happen?
Marc:Because I've been long out of the position of being someone's guide here.
Guest 1:Well, I'm going to give you just a couple of key phrases.
Guest 1:that you can use once I begin to feel the effects of salvia.
Guest 1:Now, guaranteed, I am going to be in a hallucinogenic experience, but these phrases that I give you, if you say them to me calmly and directly, it will keep me in a place in my brain where I will not be overwhelmed by salvia.
Marc:All right, all right, hold on.
Marc:Okay, now let me write them down.
Marc:This is, I don't know.
Marc:All right, go ahead.
Marc:Okay.
Guest 1:Hey, man, you're okay.
Marc:I can remember that.
Marc:I used to say, just hang on.
Guest 1:That's fine as well.
Marc:Okay.
Guest 1:Breathe.
Marc:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
Marc:Breathe, dude.
Marc:Hold on, breathe.
Marc:Dude.
Marc:Oh, dude.
Marc:Sorry.
Marc:Breathe dude.
Guest 1:Breathe dude.
Marc:Bro.
Marc:Bro.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Bro.
Marc:Breathe dude or breathe bro.
Guest 1:You're cool.
Guest 1:You're cool.
Guest 1:You're cool.
Marc:So you're cool.
Marc:You're cool.
Marc:You're cool.
Marc:That's it.
Marc:All right, so now... I'm just going to pack.
Marc:Yeah, pack the bowl.
Marc:This makes me a little itchy.
Marc:So this is something you can do with the family.
Marc:Whatever we're going to see now, everyone's got... In a situation, say it's one kid, maybe two parents, one parent.
Guest 1:Everyone's got a... Grandparent.
Guest 1:I mean, when you think about grandparents being of the Woodstock generation.
Guest 1:Sure, sure.
Guest 1:They're at that age now.
Guest 1:And we're in a new age where...
Guest 1:being comfortable talking about these things.
Marc:All right, so grandma, maybe one or two parents, and a kid, everyone's got their own pipe.
Marc:You've got your own pipe.
Marc:Everyone's loaded up.
Guest 1:Some will be, some won't be.
Guest 1:Some will be playing the part that you're going to be playing, which is going to be kind of the guide, the safety officer, whatever you want to refer to it as.
Guest 1:Okay.
Guest 1:Okay, so I'm good to go.
Guest 1:Are you ready to go?
Marc:Yeah, how long is it going to take to kick in?
Guest 1:About 20 seconds.
Guest 1:Okay.
Marc:So I can talk you through it.
Guest 1:Okay, so this, I'll probably take an inhalation of about 15 seconds.
Guest 1:And you hold it?
Marc:Okay.
Marc:You good?
Marc:How long do you hold it for, like, what?
Marc:15 seconds.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:You good?
Marc:It smells kind of good.
Okay.
Marc:It's out now.
Guest 1:You ought to just open the window, and as you can see, my head didn't explode, and initially, the effect of salvia will take... Here it comes.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Here it comes.
Guest 3:Okay.
Okay.
Guest 2:Hey, man.
Guest 2:You okay?
Guest 1:Hey, hey, hey.
Guest 1:Hey, you're cool.
Guest 1:You're cool.
Guest 1:You're cool.
Guest 1:Not good.
Guest 1:Not good.
Guest 1:You're cool.
Guest 1:Not good.
Guest 1:You're cool.
Guest 1:You're cool.
Marc:Just breathe, dude.
Marc:Just breathe, dude.
Marc:Okay, play with the box.
Marc:I don't even know what to do.
Marc:Hey, just sit in the chair.
Marc:No, no, no, not the table.
Marc:I got the mic up.
Marc:Just sit in the chair.
Marc:Just breathe, dude.
Marc:Breathe, bro.
Marc:Breathe, bro.
Marc:Okay, just breathe, bro.
Marc:You're cool.
Marc:You're cool.
Marc:You're cool.
Marc:Hey, man.
Marc:Are you okay?
Marc:What are you seeing?
Marc:Do you see anything?
Guest 1:You look like a praying mantis.
Guest 1:Are you a praying mantis?
Guest 1:No, I'm not.
Guest 1:You're cool.
Guest 1:You're cool.
Guest 1:You're cool.
Guest 3:You're cool.
Marc:You're cool.
Marc:You're cool.
Marc:You're cool.
Marc:All right.
Marc:All right.
Marc:All right.
Marc:All right.
Marc:All right.
Marc:How long does this fucking last, bro?
Marc:I mean, I'm sorry.
Marc:Just breathe, bro.
Marc:Just breathe, bro.
Marc:All right.
Marc:All right.
Guest 3:Okay.
Guest 3:Okay.
Okay.
Marc:All right.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Be cool, bro.
Marc:I mean, breathe, dude.
Marc:I mean, breathe.
Marc:Hey, man, you're okay.
Marc:Hey, man, you're okay.
Marc:You cool?
Marc:You're cool.
Marc:I mean, you're cool.
Wow.
Guest 5:Fuck.
Marc:Yeah?
Fuck.
Marc:Jesus, you're sweating.
Guest 1:Just give me a second one.
Guest 1:Are you still high, kind of?
Guest 1:Is that it?
Guest 1:My eyes are buzzing a little bit, man.
Guest 1:It's like an eye buzz, like a hum.
Guest 1:Everything's beautiful and awful, and it's buzzing.
Marc:all right well let me let me like now okay so i'm you in this situation so i'm talking to the family no no no no no no no no no no no no just i just speak you're cool you're cool you're cool all right just just breathe dude yeah just breathe bro
Marc:Hey, man.
Marc:I can only breathe out.
Marc:No, no, no.
Marc:You can just... Pull in.
Marc:Pull in.
Marc:Pull in.
Marc:No, no, just pull in.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:No, no, no.
Marc:Now do both.
Marc:One after the other.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:That's... All right.
Marc:I don't know how this is advantageous to families.
Marc:I'm not seeing... I need to lay down, dude.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Just... All right.
Marc:Well, let's...
Marc:I guess we'll close this segment.
Marc:Let me get Daryl some water, and perhaps we'll do some follow-up another time.
Marc:I'm not sure about this program.
Marc:All right, I'm coming, dude.
Marc:All right, all right.
Marc:Don't cry.
Marc:Oh, shit.
Marc:All right, so I'm back here with Daryl Loomis, who is better.
Marc:I got to be honest with you, that was scary for me.
Marc:It is.
Marc:And even after I cut the mic, it wasn't over.
Marc:Do you want to know what you were saying?
Marc:Yeah, that's part of it.
Marc:Do you want me to tell you what you were saying?
Guest 1:Transparency.
Guest 1:Completely transparency.
Marc:Because it became clear that even after the mics were off that you had almost like a second wave.
Marc:I had to take the fucking pipe away from you.
Marc:And this is something you're doing with a family.
Marc:But I don't...
Marc:You started crying, and I shut the mic off because I didn't know if I was going to have to call a hospital or an ambulance.
Marc:You could have left it on.
Guest 1:You could have left it on, but I'm glad you did.
Guest 1:But I didn't want to embarrass you.
Guest 1:You're new at this.
Guest 1:It's totally understandable.
Marc:Basically, what you were saying was like, I don't know.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I don't know why.
Marc:I don't know why.
Marc:And then there was more crying, and then you said, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad.
Marc:Where did that come from?
Marc:How does this function in a family therapy situation?
Guest 1:A couple of ways.
Guest 1:A couple of ways.
Guest 1:My saying, Dad, I know from my experience, both in therapy and on my spiritual journey, that my dad was a staunch opponent of substances.
Guest 1:He was a hard, hardcore Republican.
Guest 1:Not that that makes much of a difference, really, but...
Marc:you know i was embarrassed i i was trying to live up to an idea that my dad had so that's probably where that came from so that that that if we're in a family dynamic you might get uh any number of different reveals but but but it seems to me that there's a certain level of denial and what you're saying is that it seems like a a parent uh child bond is deeper than that and you're just framing it as is that he didn't like drugs you seem to be justifying your drug use with this thing and i don't see how it functions as a as a real therapy i
Guest 1:Well, it indeed is a bridge.
Guest 1:It isn't a foundational in and of itself experience.
Guest 1:It's merely a bridge to higher pastures.
Marc:But you're all fucked up.
Marc:You're all fucked up.
Marc:Now, what, you're going to do this again next week or three days from now with a family?
Marc:No.
Guest 1:I mean, no.
Guest 1:I'll probably use one of my interns at this.
Guest 1:I mean, I'm having what I consider to be the ideal reaction because...
Guest 1:That was rough.
Guest 1:The phrases I gave you worked.
Guest 1:They worked.
Guest 1:I'm here.
Guest 1:I'm alive.
Guest 1:So they clearly worked.
Guest 1:You were shook up a little bit, but you had some training, just a little bit of training, and you were able to hang.
Guest 1:You chose to turn the mics off that I think is credible.
Guest 1:That's logical thinking.
Guest 1:Had I stopped breathing, I'm sure you would have called 911.
Yeah.
Guest 1:But I don't want to do it again, man.
Guest 1:I don't want to smoke salvia ever, ever, ever again.
Guest 1:I mean, dude, I'm not going to lie on any level to kids or to families or to hosts.
Guest 1:That was rough, man.
Guest 1:All right.
Guest 1:So how often have you said that?
Guest 1:a number of times, but again, it's progress, not perfection.
Marc:With any... Oh, now you're talking program.
Marc:So you tell me that... Have you ever even done this with families?
Guest 1:We're baby steps.
Guest 1:This process is being... First and foremost, it's the curriculum.
Guest 1:Second, it's the promotion, which you're a big part of, and we thank you so much for promoting.
Marc:I really have to get someone working for me in the booking department.
Marc:I mean, you were great, and I'm glad that you had this...
Marc:What the fuck is that smell, man?
Marc:Did something happen?
Marc:Did my cat come in here?
Guest 1:I normally would have had a pair of adult diapers.
Guest 1:Oh, come on.
Guest 1:I defecated during the experience.
Guest 1:It's not unusual.
Guest 1:Oh, my God.
Guest 1:There's an intimacy that families... I mean, you're talking about a 14-year-old kid.
Guest 1:Changing his diaper could cause some memories.
Marc:Okay, we're done.
Marc:Daryl, we're done.
Guest 1:We're done.
Guest 1:SAT, just contact me through the show.
Guest 1:If you want more information.
Okay.
Marc:Okay, my friends, that is it.
Marc:That is our show.
Marc:I hope you enjoyed that.
Marc:You know, sometimes guests are, you never know what you're going to get.
Marc:And I tend to think that that may be a good thing and I should stick with it.
Marc:But I want to thank Howard Kramer, a.k.a.
Marc:Dragon Boy Suede, for sharing his mind and music with us.
Marc:And also, Mr. Loomis, Daryl Loomis.
Marc:I hope he's okay.
Marc:You know, I apologize.
Marc:Maybe I do need a better screener or a booker in general.
Marc:A little bit of business.
Marc:Those of you who know, you can go to WTF Pod and donate.
Marc:You can subscribe.
Marc:You can do a lot of things.
Marc:You can get on the mailing list.
Marc:You can follow us on Twitter.
Marc:I just wanted to give you a heads up.
Marc:I am going to create some new merch, some more reasonably priced merch.
Marc:for you guys in the very near future.
Marc:And I'm also going to create some new tiers of donation with more swag.
Marc:I'm starting to learn.
Marc:I'm evolving with the model we've chosen because we want to stay listener-supported.
Marc:We want donations.
Marc:We'd love for you to subscribe on a monthly donation.
Marc:You do get a T-shirt and some stuff with that.
Marc:But I'm going to try and figure out a way to give everybody a little something.
Marc:at different levels of donation.
Marc:Also, please go to punchwinemagazine.com for all your comedy business needs.
Marc:You know, we got some great upcoming shows.
Marc:I'm looking forward to, we got Matt Bronger coming up.
Marc:We got Billy Burr coming up.
Marc:We got John Caparulo coming up.
Marc:I got my buddy John Wing coming in today, maybe to do a little interview.
Marc:David Tell said he was interested.
Marc:You know, this thing is starting to really get fun for me, and I hope you're enjoying the show.
Marc:So, is that all I need to tell you?
Marc:Is it?
Marc:Let me look at my piece of paper.
Marc:Huh.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Also, as always, and as I don't do enough, I'd like to thank Brendan P.W.
Marc:McDonald, who is the master of the box with the knobs on it that makes this show happen along with me, my partner in crime.
Marc:Please, everybody, a round of applause.
Marc:Brendan McDonald, I will talk to you next time.
Marc:Have a great day or three days or week or however long it takes you in between these things.
Marc:But for God's sakes, be careful.
you