Episode 34 - Dana DeArmond / Dr. Steve

Episode 34 • Released December 28, 2009 • Speakers detected

00:00:00Marc:Lock the gates!

00:00:07Guest 7:Are we doing this?

00:00:08Guest 7:Really?

00:00:08Guest 7:Wait for it.

00:00:09Guest 7:Are we doing this?

00:00:10Guest 7:Wait for it.

00:00:12Guest 7:Pow!

00:00:12Guest 7:What the fuck?

00:00:14Guest 7:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?

00:00:16Guest 7:What's wrong with me?

00:00:17Guest 7:It's time for WTF!

00:00:19Guest 7:What the fuck?

00:00:20Guest 7:With Mark Maron.

00:00:21Guest 7:What the fuck?

00:00:25Marc:Okay, let's do this, what the fuckers.

00:00:27Marc:Hi, it's Mark Maron.

00:00:28Marc:Welcome to the show.

00:00:29Marc:Thank you for listening.

00:00:30Marc:Yes, I'm a little congested.

00:00:32Marc:Yes, again.

00:00:32Marc:Yes, I did get another cold.

00:00:36Marc:Yes.

00:00:37Marc:I don't know why.

00:00:37Marc:I'm not going to go too deep into it.

00:00:40Marc:I'm not going to think that my immune system is shit or that I'm somehow compromised.

00:00:48Marc:I think it's just that I was with a bunch of kids and traveling a lot or maybe under a lot of stress I don't know about.

00:00:55Marc:And there's some I do know about, but I got another cold and I'm getting rid of it.

00:00:59Marc:But I'm sorry if the nasal sound of my voice irritates you.

00:01:03Marc:Thanks for listening.

00:01:05Marc:What the fuckers?

00:01:05Marc:I'm glad you're all here.

00:01:06Marc:I'm glad you're all present because this is a dicey show.

00:01:10Marc:This is a show that I didn't think I would do, but I had an opportunity and I did it.

00:01:14Marc:And I'm going to try and frame it somehow.

00:01:17Marc:So we can all enjoy it, learn something from it, or perhaps have a big what the fuck moment.

00:01:24Marc:I'm starting to find that as I do this show, it's not all about the philosophy of what the fuck, or who the fuck, or when the fuck, or why the fuck, or where the fuck, or what the fuck.

00:01:34Marc:It really, sometimes you listen to this show, and I find that some people are saying, what the fuck, seriously, what the fuck is going on in this show?

00:01:41Marc:I understand that.

00:01:42Marc:It's going to happen more.

00:01:44Marc:First, let me tell you what's happening today.

00:01:46Marc:I got an opportunity through a friend to interview somebody that I didn't think I would interview or that I didn't think it would happen.

00:01:55Marc:I didn't know how it would handle it, but I did it.

00:01:58Marc:Dana D'Armond is here on this show.

00:02:02Marc:She is nominated for the...

00:02:04Marc:Adult Video Performer of the Year.

00:02:07Marc:She is a porn star, big time.

00:02:09Marc:She has an internet website.

00:02:12Marc:She is theinternetsgirlfriend.com.

00:02:15Marc:And I'd never seen her work, but I got an opportunity through a mutual...

00:02:20Marc:I guess someone gave me some access to her.

00:02:25Marc:So I said, I don't usually interview porn stars.

00:02:29Marc:I never have.

00:02:30Marc:I've been on shows where porn stars are interviewed.

00:02:33Marc:I'm not always comfortable.

00:02:34Marc:Why is that?

00:02:34Marc:I don't know.

00:02:36Marc:But I would like to I'll give it a try.

00:02:40Marc:And so she's on the show today.

00:02:42Marc:Now, let me try to give a little background.

00:02:44Marc:And I'm saying this as a preface to that.

00:02:47Marc:It's going to get a little filthy, a little filthier than usual, because we are talking about filth.

00:02:53Marc:If you listen to this with your kids, this might not be the best episode to listen to them with them.

00:02:58Marc:If you are a teenager and you're listening to this, it says explicit right there on the iTunes menu.

00:03:06Marc:If you're going to do it, do it.

00:03:08Marc:But don't tell your parents.

00:03:10Marc:Is that going to get me into trouble?

00:03:11Marc:It says explicit.

00:03:13Marc:I'm not condoning anything.

00:03:15Marc:Don't do it.

00:03:17Marc:How's that?

00:03:17Marc:Okay?

00:03:18Marc:Okay.

00:03:19Marc:Look, here's my thing with porn.

00:03:21Marc:I know the cultural repercussions of porn.

00:03:24Marc:I'm an educated person.

00:03:27Marc:I'm a lefty on some level, on a big level.

00:03:31Marc:I know that it objectifies women.

00:03:34Marc:I know the feminist arguments against porn.

00:03:37Marc:I know that on some level it is a cultural malignancy because of its availability, how easy it is to access it.

00:03:45Marc:I've talked before about how I was happy when I was younger.

00:03:48Marc:It was very difficult to find.

00:03:50Marc:You had to know that one kid with the older brother or some parent's stash, or you had to find a page or two somewhere, and then you'd go back to where you found it to see if the rest showed up.

00:04:00Marc:But porn had a major impact on my brain, and I watch porn occasionally.

00:04:06Marc:I'm not that proud of it.

00:04:08Marc:I use it.

00:04:08Marc:I don't download it.

00:04:10Marc:But I watch porn.

00:04:14Marc:But I must have some shame because I'm sitting here basically giving you all some sort of disclaimer for reasons I don't understand.

00:04:21Marc:I think that in my brain, I have a certain reverence for porn stars from when I was very young.

00:04:29Marc:One of the first times I ever saw sex or had any experience with sex was through porn.

00:04:34Marc:It's just the truth of it.

00:04:36Marc:And I'll be open.

00:04:38Marc:I mean, I know many of you masturbate.

00:04:41Marc:I know that I do.

00:04:42Marc:I remember the first time it happened and I thought it was spectacular.

00:04:45Marc:It was in the bathtub.

00:04:46Marc:It was by accident.

00:04:48Marc:It involved running water.

00:04:49Marc:And when whatever happened happened, I was like, this is something that I have to integrate into my life as often and as much as possible.

00:04:58Marc:That was my revelation.

00:05:01Marc:The first time I saw sex depicted anywhere was in a comic book.

00:05:05Marc:It was an illustrated history of adult comics.

00:05:08Marc:It was a large illustration.

00:05:09Marc:I saw some art crumb and some Spain images, graphic art that showed me where things went and how they went.

00:05:17Marc:I wasn't sure how to do it, but I knew what needed to be done.

00:05:21Marc:I then saw some illustrated Joy of Sex book when I was probably 10 or 11.

00:05:28Marc:And that had tremendous impact on me.

00:05:30Marc:But really the biggest impact porn had on my head.

00:05:33Marc:And I don't believe I've told this story on this show.

00:05:35Marc:So I will tell it to you now.

00:05:38Marc:When I was 14, 15 years old in Albuquerque, New Mexico, we got our driver's license in that state.

00:05:46Marc:At 14 and 9 months, you got a learner's permit.

00:05:48Marc:At 15, you got a full-on state driver's license in Albuquerque, New Mexico, which means between the ages of 15 and 16, you got a fake ID.

00:05:57Marc:It was easier to make them then.

00:05:59Marc:How it happened with us, me and my friends, we went to a party once and there was a guy that used to come to the party.

00:06:05Marc:He had a large cutout.

00:06:07Marc:He had a big board that was basically a huge New Mexico state driver's license.

00:06:14Marc:And there was one of the corners was cut out of the big board that you held in front of you and you stuck your head in the corner because that was where your picture would be.

00:06:21Marc:So he figured out how far away he had to stand with a Polaroid camera, snapped the Polaroid, and gave it to you for $15, and you trimmed around it.

00:06:29Marc:So you cut around the edges, and since you were sticking your head there, it looks like the picture.

00:06:34Marc:The proportion was right, and you got it laminated, and that was your fake ID.

00:06:37Marc:The only problem with this particular method was that you could not change the name.

00:06:41Marc:So me and three of my friends were all Tom Bynes.

00:06:44Marc:We were all Tom Bynes.

00:06:46Marc:We were born on the same day, had the same color eyes, same address, same social security number or driver's license number.

00:06:52Marc:So we were just a little band of Tom Bynes.

00:06:56Marc:We never called ourselves the Tom Bynes, but it would have been a good band name.

00:07:00Marc:So me and my buddies, the other Tom Bynes, we would often go to nightclubs.

00:07:05Marc:And how they didn't know, or I'm sure they did, that what they were dealing with was three or four 15-year-olds.

00:07:10Marc:But that was a different time then.

00:07:13Marc:People did that.

00:07:14Marc:People let 15-year-olds, 16-year-olds into bars if they were all Tom Bynes.

00:07:17Marc:But we'd intersperse ourselves in between people.

00:07:20Marc:One guy would go in, then we'd wait for a few people to go in, then they'd send the other Tom Bynes, and then wait for a few people, then dispatch the last Tom Bynes to go in.

00:07:30Marc:But one night, the Tom Bynes's, me being one of them, went to the Pyramid Theater on Central Boulevard in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

00:07:39Marc:This was back, so I was 15, so it must have been 63, 73, 77, 78.

00:07:46Marc:Before Betamax, really, before video, before Internet, certainly.

00:07:51Marc:Back when, if you wanted to see an adult movie, you had to go to a creepy adult theater.

00:07:57Marc:You either had to go to a booth palace or you had to go to a theater.

00:08:00Marc:Now, there was a Pyramid Theater in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

00:08:05Marc:So me and the other Tom Bynes has decided we're going to get drunk and we're going to go to the Pyramid Theater, an adult theater.

00:08:11Marc:Adult theaters are disgusting places.

00:08:14Marc:They're disgusting because if it wasn't a booth situation, it was basically a small theater where people would, I guess, you know, sit there and jerk off in public.

00:08:24Marc:So we went in not really knowing what to expect.

00:08:27Marc:So we go in, we sit, we're drunk, we're talking, we're a bunch of guys.

00:08:30Marc:We just want to see a dirty movie.

00:08:33Marc:And next to us, I remember there was an elderly couple sitting in the next row.

00:08:37Marc:I remember my friend Bob, Tom Bynes, number two, turns to me and goes, oh my God, my grandparents are here, which I thought was hilarious.

00:08:44Marc:and there was another guy all arched up in his chair a few rows down it was disgusting the floor was sticky you walk into the place there was beaded curtains and there was a room to the side and for some reason it just said nude body painting which i guess was the same as a massage now is full release body painting getting back to how porn impacted my life so we sit there and the movie starts and this is what i remember from the movie

00:09:09Marc:It started with a guy on a bus going somewhere.

00:09:13Marc:He gets somewhere.

00:09:15Marc:There is some cult in the town or something.

00:09:17Marc:There's something weird.

00:09:19Marc:He meets a weird group of hippie-ish type people.

00:09:22Marc:He ends up with a woman in bed.

00:09:24Marc:And this is what I remember.

00:09:26Marc:She was naked on the bed, tattooed on her stomach.

00:09:29Marc:And this is before tats.

00:09:30Marc:This is before the tattoo craze.

00:09:32Marc:This is before everybody had tattoos.

00:09:35Marc:So it was fucking bizarre.

00:09:37Marc:On her stomach, she had the tattoo of a devil's head.

00:09:41Marc:A full devil's head on her stomach and the mouth and beard of the devil were her vagina.

00:09:48Marc:Daunting, especially to somebody who'd never seen a vagina in action, let alone, you know, a full naked person like that in that way.

00:09:58Marc:The guy starts having sex with her and she just starts saying, fuck me.

00:10:02Marc:Fuck the devil.

00:10:03Marc:Fuck me.

00:10:04Marc:Fuck the devil.

00:10:05Marc:So this is my first experience of how sex works.

00:10:09Marc:That's what's in my 15 year old brain before I had had sex.

00:10:13Marc:And that's what I thought sex was.

00:10:16Marc:Now, it's arguable, you know, whether or not there are.

00:10:20Marc:I have met some vaginas that are certainly attached to the devil somehow.

00:10:24Marc:And that's not sexist, just personal experience.

00:10:27Marc:But it sort of fucked my head up and it blew my mind.

00:10:30Marc:And I remember later in that movie, it ends with a bunch of people in robes holding candles around a naked woman on some sort of altar on all fours with a candle stuck in her ass that's lit.

00:10:43Marc:And they're all saying, all hail Uranus.

00:10:46Marc:All hail Uranus.

00:10:47Marc:So that was my experience with porn.

00:10:48Marc:And then later, my parents had a couple who were friends.

00:10:53Marc:And this was in Betamax time.

00:10:54Marc:And somehow or another...

00:10:56Marc:The family friends, their kid got me the video and we had a copy of Deep Throat and a copy of the opening of Misty Beethoven.

00:11:05Marc:But it had a profound effect on my brain.

00:11:07Marc:It rewired my sense of sexuality.

00:11:10Marc:It's taken a long time to adjust it.

00:11:14Marc:So porn has had an effect on my life, and I was always fairly amazed with porn stars.

00:11:18Marc:And I always thought that that's how you had sex.

00:11:20Marc:That was the way people had sex was like porn movies.

00:11:24Marc:So this is all leading up to the fact that I've never talked to a porn star for any amount of time.

00:11:29Marc:We all have our own judgments of porn actors, but mostly porn actresses.

00:11:34Marc:Like, well, they've got to be damaged.

00:11:35Marc:They've got to be crazy.

00:11:36Marc:They've got to be whores.

00:11:37Marc:They've got to be this.

00:11:38Marc:They've got to be that.

00:11:39Marc:And I'm finding that as I meet more people in that industry and I meet people in general that on some level a job's a job and sex is not that coded.

00:11:49Marc:I think the big threat is, more than the moral judgment, is that if sex can be that way, where does that leave intimacy?

00:11:56Marc:Where does that leave...

00:11:58Marc:Where is that?

00:11:59Marc:How do we deal with that?

00:12:00Marc:Not only that, but obviously some people have porn problems, porn addictions, but that's the way the business goes.

00:12:06Marc:But for the most part, these people work in an industry.

00:12:09Marc:A lot of them are damaged.

00:12:10Marc:Some of them aren't.

00:12:11Marc:Some of them have made some sort of compromises in their life, obviously.

00:12:15Marc:But it is what it is, and it's big business, and it's all over the place.

00:12:20Marc:So whatever your moral judgments are, you can have them.

00:12:23Marc:Whatever you think of porn, whether you engage with it or not, or whether you...

00:12:27Marc:Don't let on that you do or whether you're hiding it, whatever, whatever you may think of it.

00:12:32Marc:We're now going to have a conversation with Dana D'Armond and take it for what it is.

00:12:37Marc:After my discussion with Dana, I'm going to be meeting with my therapist.

00:12:41Marc:Well, he's my friend, but he's also a therapist.

00:12:44Marc:and he deals exclusively with family therapy, and he deals a lot with sex addiction.

00:12:50Marc:So I thought that would be a nice way to put the tag on this particular episode of WTF.

00:12:56Marc:His name is Steve Danziger.

00:12:58Marc:And I do want to say again, this is explicit.

00:13:02Marc:If you're an adult that does not want to listen to this, don't.

00:13:05Marc:If you're a kid, don't.

00:13:07Marc:And if you get caught doing it, don't blame me.

00:13:13Music

00:13:16Guest 1:I think that Pinerk is still unique.

00:13:20Marc:Your cat?

00:13:20Guest 1:He's fat, yeah.

00:13:22Guest 1:Does he throw up?

00:13:22Guest 1:Yeah, he'll eat really fast, and then I think he's ashamed when he throws up.

00:13:27Marc:Yeah, I think that's what my cat, too.

00:13:28Marc:Was your cat wild?

00:13:30Guest 1:No, he's hairless.

00:13:32Guest 1:I think I just called him fat too many times and I gave him a complex because you can really see the titties on a hairless cat.

00:13:39Marc:You're a horrible mommy.

00:13:40Marc:You're a bad cat mommy.

00:13:42Guest 1:I'm an asshole.

00:13:43Marc:You give your cat body image issues.

00:13:45Guest 1:It takes after his mother.

00:13:46Marc:Do you have body image issues?

00:13:47Marc:Oh, let me introduce you properly.

00:13:49Marc:My guest is Dana D'Armond.

00:13:51Marc:Is that how you say it?

00:13:52Marc:Yes.

00:13:52Marc:I got it right.

00:13:53Marc:Thank you.

00:13:54Marc:She is the proprietor and queen of theinternetsgirlfriend.com, a very popular... Now, I don't want to use any of the wrong phraseology for your biz.

00:14:06Marc:It is a... How would you call it?

00:14:08Marc:Do you just call it a porn site, or do you call it an adult video site, or do you call it like my...

00:14:15Guest 1:Well, theinternetsgirlfriend.com is, it's not actually like a porn site because I don't actually, it's pretty safe for work actually.

00:14:23Guest 1:Oh, so it's okay to do it at the office?

00:14:24Guest 1:It's mostly a blog.

00:14:24Guest 1:It has some adult links on it, but they're pretty tame.

00:14:29Guest 6:Yeah.

00:14:30Guest 1:But it's mostly a blog.

00:14:31Guest 1:And so I have a bunch of like my recent news and I have little video clips and pictures and stuff.

00:14:38Guest 1:Tame video clips.

00:14:39Marc:Tame video clips.

00:14:40Guest 1:I give advice to my fans.

00:14:42Marc:You do?

00:14:43Yeah.

00:14:43Marc:Well, maybe we should tell people because I'm sure a lot of my listeners might not know exactly who you are because I'm not saying that they are not.

00:14:49Guest 1:There's got to be like a crossover somehow.

00:14:52Marc:Well, you know, I'm sure there's a big crossover, but I get the feeling that a lot of dudes or women won't admit the crossover.

00:15:00Marc:I think that there's a lot of people that are closet porn indulgers that are not proud of it necessarily.

00:15:08Marc:But you, Dana, this is your year, award-wise.

00:15:13Guest 1:It kind of is.

00:15:14Marc:I mean, this is fucking huge, man.

00:15:16Marc:So the AVN Awards, best three-way sex scene for semen sipper seven.

00:15:21Marc:I'm sorry, I have to do it.

00:15:22Guest 1:Best title ever.

00:15:23Guest 1:Especially because I kind of have a lisp, and so when I say it, it's like semen sipper seven.

00:15:29Marc:It's a lot cuter when you say semen sipper.

00:15:31Guest 1:I don't even have my retainer in right now.

00:15:33Marc:Well, you have braces on top?

00:15:35Guest 1:Yeah.

00:15:36Marc:Did you do movies with full braces?

00:15:37Guest 1:Yeah, I actually got an award for the best anal scene.

00:15:41Guest 1:It was my first scene I did with my braces on, and I think it just really wowed people, maybe.

00:15:49Marc:Was it because the guy was like, I don't want my dick in there.

00:15:51Marc:There's braces.

00:15:52Marc:You're going to hurt me?

00:15:53Guest 1:No.

00:15:53Marc:Oh, okay.

00:15:54Guest 1:No, people are not afraid of my braces.

00:15:56Marc:It's got to add a certain amount of charm for those people who fantasize with braces.

00:16:00Guest 1:I think so.

00:16:01Guest 1:I liked it.

00:16:02Guest 1:My agent was really pissed at me.

00:16:03Marc:Forgetting them?

00:16:05Marc:Yeah.

00:16:05Marc:Really?

00:16:05Guest 1:And I had to explain to him, Mark, my teeth will fall out if I don't get braces.

00:16:10Guest 1:So would you rather me have braces for six months to a year or have no teeth?

00:16:16Guest 1:It's your choice.

00:16:18Guest 1:Like, if you really want to choose that for me.

00:16:20Marc:Yeah, if you wanted to think about the two porn markets that we could go into, which is braces temporarily.

00:16:24Guest 1:Or toothless whore.

00:16:25Marc:Or toothless whore with dentures.

00:16:27Marc:The old, like, oh, grandma's going to pull her teeth out one.

00:16:29Guest 1:I'm a little young to do granny porn.

00:16:31Marc:Well, I know, but I was looking in the long haul.

00:16:33Guest 1:In the future.

00:16:34Marc:Yeah.

00:16:34Marc:And you also are up for the AVN for most outrageous sex scenes from Squirt Gang Bang 4.

00:16:40Guest 1:Yeah.

00:16:41Marc:Can you say that one with your list?

00:16:42Guest 1:Squirt, gang, bang, four.

00:16:43Marc:Thank you.

00:16:44Marc:Best all-girl group sex scene from the same movie.

00:16:47Guest 1:Yeah.

00:16:48Marc:And then the big one, female performer of the fucking year.

00:16:52Guest 1:I know.

00:16:53Marc:That's awesome.

00:16:53Guest 1:It's so incredible.

00:16:55Guest 1:It's crazy.

00:16:56Guest 1:It's bonkers.

00:16:58Marc:Is it bonkers because most people don't like you?

00:17:01Marc:Because you kind of run your own shop, right?

00:17:03Guest 1:Yeah.

00:17:03Marc:I mean, for the most part.

00:17:04Guest 1:Yeah, I do everything myself.

00:17:06Guest 1:I promote myself and I do my own webbing and networking.

00:17:13Marc:In terms of movies, though, are you self-produced?

00:17:16Marc:Do you work with somebody specifically?

00:17:18Guest 1:I'm a free agent, so I work with everybody.

00:17:20Guest 1:I work with whoever wants me.

00:17:22Guest 1:So that's good.

00:17:24Guest 1:But when I work, I'm like, maybe you should put me in an all-girl gangbang movie.

00:17:31Guest 1:That'd be a good idea, right?

00:17:33Guest 1:Thanks.

00:17:34Marc:So you got to ask for what you want?

00:17:35Marc:They might know.

00:17:36Guest 1:Well, you know, I try to like plant a seed of, you know.

00:17:40Marc:As opposed to let them decide?

00:17:41Guest 1:Yeah.

00:17:42Guest 1:Okay.

00:17:43Guest 1:Oh, you know what I would really be into is doing like an all interracial gang bang.

00:17:49Guest 1:Like if that's, are you guys shooting that right now?

00:17:52Guest 1:Because that would be cool.

00:17:53Guest 1:What a coincidence.

00:17:54Guest 1:Because I'm open to doing that.

00:17:56Marc:So are you open to do most anything?

00:17:58Guest 1:Yeah, pretty much.

00:18:00Guest 1:Yeah.

00:18:01Marc:Like where do you draw the line?

00:18:03Guest 1:The line.

00:18:06Marc:Were you like, you know what?

00:18:07Marc:I don't think so.

00:18:08Guest 1:I don't know.

00:18:09Guest 1:The line moves up and down depending on how much money is involved, I think.

00:18:14Guest 1:Right.

00:18:15Guest 1:I mean, honestly.

00:18:16Guest 1:I mean, completely honestly.

00:18:17Guest 1:I'm really showing my cards here.

00:18:21Guest 1:This is like the real behind the scenes of the porn business.

00:18:23Marc:So you're saying if the money is right, you'll probably do it.

00:18:27Guest 1:Yeah, but it's not because I'm desperate for money or whatever.

00:18:31Guest 6:Right, but no, we're talking about good money.

00:18:32Guest 1:I'm actually responsible, and I save my money, and I paid off my Prius and stuff like that.

00:18:38Guest 6:I like that you drive a Prius.

00:18:39Guest 1:I know, me too.

00:18:39Guest 1:I drive it because of Larry David.

00:18:41Guest 1:Do you?

00:18:42Guest 1:Yeah.

00:18:42Guest 6:You love Larry David?

00:18:43Guest 1:LD, yeah, I love him.

00:18:45Guest 6:Are you a big comedy fan?

00:18:46Guest 1:Yeah, I mean, who doesn't like comedy?

00:18:48Guest 1:Weirdos?

00:18:49Marc:So we're talking inside about that weird crossover of, because I started following you on Twitter, and some of them are kind of sex related.

00:18:57Marc:You're just a person on Twitter.

00:18:59Marc:You also have a huge MySpace presence, which I guess is where you culled most of your internet following, right?

00:19:04Guest 1:Yeah, I when I started doing adult stuff, I just started accepting everybody who sent me a friend request because I was like, I'm gonna have to need to, you know, inform these people about the important work that I'm doing with with the penises and the vagina for the world.

00:19:19Guest 1:My important charitable efforts concerning vaginas and boobies.

00:19:24Marc:Like you said in the house that you had moments where you forget that you're this amazingly large porn presence and guys must walk up to you at malls and stuff just like, oh my God, oh my God.

00:19:38Marc:I get that sometimes.

00:19:40Marc:You do, right?

00:19:41Guest 1:But not very much because people are mostly embarrassed because they either don't want to admit that they have a MySpace account.

00:19:48Marc:Right.

00:19:48Marc:Or that they've watched your movies.

00:19:49Guest 1:Because now it's become something somewhat embarrassing, I guess.

00:19:52Marc:That's hilarious.

00:19:53Marc:I've been that guy.

00:19:54Marc:I watch porn, but I don't buy it.

00:19:59Marc:I don't download large chunks.

00:20:02Marc:I just use it.

00:20:04Mm-hmm.

00:20:04Marc:And and I don't I don't know why I don't.

00:20:07Marc:But I did have a thing for a porn star at one point in time and I can't even remember her name.

00:20:13Marc:Oh, but it was a while back and I saw her in the smoking section over at the camera.

00:20:18Marc:I was like Dallas Airport and she walked in and I had that moment where I'm like, I got to say something.

00:20:23Guest 3:Right.

00:20:23Marc:I mean, I really know at least her in that way because you feel close somehow.

00:20:29Marc:And I ended up just being a fucking dorky fan guy.

00:20:32Guest 1:But that's such a gamble, too, though, because if you're like, you're walking up to somebody and you call them by their stage name and they're not into it, they could just be like, no, my name's Lisa or whatever.

00:20:44Marc:Or like, fuck you.

00:20:45Guest 1:Yeah.

00:20:46Marc:But it's my belief that if you're a grown up and you accept that, you know, you do this job and you're good at the job and you don't have a problem with it, you may even like it, then who the fuck is the judge?

00:20:55Guest 1:Exactly.

00:20:56Guest 1:I try not to judge other people because I'm kind of low on the totem pole as far as judgments go.

00:21:04Marc:What really disgusts you?

00:21:06Guest 1:Yeah, fur.

00:21:08Marc:Fur, okay.

00:21:09Guest 1:It's my recent thing that's become more and more, it pops out to me as more and more of a disgusting thing.

00:21:17Guest 1:Do we eat meat?

00:21:18Guest 1:I do, but... But you don't eat fur.

00:21:20Guest 1:I don't, yeah, I don't...

00:21:22Guest 1:I don't wear fur products.

00:21:24Guest 1:Well, I was in a location yesterday, and they had a lot of tchotchkes that were obviously made of real animal fur, which...

00:21:33Guest 1:You know, people would like to think that, oh, it's only a rabbit, which is disgusting anyway, too.

00:21:39Guest 1:But, you know, the Chinese fur trade, they use a lot of actual dog and cat fur.

00:21:44Guest 1:Oh, no.

00:21:45Guest 1:Yeah.

00:21:45Marc:So like a little keychain-y kind of thing?

00:21:47Guest 1:Well, it was actually a cat.

00:21:50Guest 1:It was like a fake cat.

00:21:51Guest 1:It's supposed to look like a little sleeping kitten.

00:21:53Guest 6:Yeah.

00:21:54Guest 1:But it's actually made of the fur of a real dead cat.

00:21:57Guest 6:They don't care about cats, sir.

00:21:58Guest 1:Yeah, they don't.

00:21:59Marc:Have you been there?

00:22:00Guest 1:No.

00:22:01Marc:I've been there once.

00:22:02Guest 1:Really?

00:22:02Marc:Yeah, you go to these markets, and it was like being on Mars, really.

00:22:06Marc:And you go to these markets, and they have just cages full of pigeons and cats.

00:22:10Marc:And I'm like, what are they using those for?

00:22:12Guest 1:Yeah, whatever.

00:22:12Marc:Yeah, I don't like to think about it.

00:22:14Marc:So, okay, so what...

00:22:15Guest 1:But you know what?

00:22:16Guest 1:It's like really funny because I say something about these people, these products that come out of the Chinese fur trade that are obviously made out of real cats and they're probably bred in really disgusting, horrible ways and just, you know, slaughtered and skinned alive or whatever.

00:22:31Guest 1:Yeah.

00:22:31Guest 1:And then somebody on Twitter goes, oh, porn star with ethics.

00:22:35Guest 1:That's really rich.

00:22:37Guest 1:That's really funny.

00:22:37Guest 3:That's fucked up.

00:22:38Guest 1:And it's like...

00:22:39Guest 1:Oh, yeah.

00:22:40Guest 1:I'm completely unethical.

00:22:41Guest 1:I have no values or morals because I have sex for a living.

00:22:44Guest 1:Yeah.

00:22:44Guest 1:It was like having sex is pretty fucking normal.

00:22:47Guest 1:Skinning a cat alive to use to make a fake cat out of is demented.

00:22:52Marc:Yeah.

00:22:53Guest 1:Totally fucking demented.

00:22:54Marc:Well, I think that's what most of the judgment comes around is that, you know, people cannot handle any sort of, you know, open expression of sex.

00:23:02Marc:I think that's still really stigmatized for some people.

00:23:05Marc:Like it should be insulated and special to some people.

00:23:08Marc:And usually those are the people that say that to their wives.

00:23:11Guest 1:It is.

00:23:11Guest 1:It's special.

00:23:12Marc:Yeah.

00:23:13Guest 1:Sure it's special.

00:23:14Marc:But it doesn't have to mean anything.

00:23:16Guest 1:Right.

00:23:17Marc:Right?

00:23:17Guest 1:Exactly.

00:23:18Marc:I mean, I think that's where the problems start.

00:23:20Guest 1:I think that a lot of people use sex as a bargaining chip or a bartering tool or something to use against other people.

00:23:29Guest 1:And they don't take every experience as something that is actually special and, you know, between the parties involved or maybe...

00:23:36Guest 1:you know, will live onward if it's documented, as in my cases.

00:23:41Guest 1:Right.

00:23:41Guest 1:And shared.

00:23:42Guest 1:And, you know, it helps people and helps make their sexual experiences more special or more comfortable or whatever.

00:23:51Guest 1:I have...

00:23:52Guest 1:A lot of fans, mostly like women and even transsexuals who will write me and say, you know, I see what you do for a living.

00:23:58Guest 1:I see your attitudes about, you know, your career and sex in general and who you are, like your online persona.

00:24:06Guest 1:And it makes me feel more comfortable with my own sexuality.

00:24:08Guest 1:And that is priceless to me.

00:24:10Guest 1:That is amazing to me.

00:24:12Marc:I think it's important because I think that despite what people think about America and how open-minded some people in America are, sex is still pretty loaded for a lot of people.

00:24:20Guest 4:It's weird.

00:24:21Marc:It is weird because I think if you have enough sex in your life, you realize like, yeah, you can have intimate, connected, you know, trusting sex, but you can actually also have dirty, filthy, expressive, fun, in-passing sex.

00:24:33Marc:And you can also, you know, it just doesn't have to be so loaded because

00:24:37Marc:And I think that the way they do it here is they constantly frighten people about a million diseases.

00:24:41Marc:They constantly say that it has to, in the Christian community, you gotta have kids or you shouldn't.

00:24:47Marc:It's just crazy.

00:24:48Guest 1:Please don't have any more kids, for the love of God.

00:24:52Guest 1:Really, there's too many people on this planet for the world to keep spinning.

00:24:56Guest 1:And people are just like, we gotta reduce our carbon footprint.

00:25:00Guest 1:I'm like, stop having fucking kids.

00:25:02Guest 6:Yeah.

00:25:03Guest 1:That's one way to fucking cut down on that real fast.

00:25:06Guest 6:Yeah.

00:25:07Guest 6:Yeah.

00:25:07Guest 6:Maybe one.

00:25:08Guest 6:I don't have any.

00:25:09Guest 6:It doesn't look like it's going to happen.

00:25:10Guest 6:You don't want any kids now.

00:25:12Guest 1:I never did, though, because my parents like they were never like, here's your baby doll.

00:25:17Guest 1:Pretend to be a mom when you're six years old.

00:25:20Guest 1:Like shit like that.

00:25:21Guest 1:My parents are not into weirdo shit like that.

00:25:23Guest 6:What kind of parents did you have?

00:25:24Guest 6:Where'd you grow up?

00:25:25Guest 1:i grew up in florida my parents florida freak show yeah i know that's the biggest fucking freak show no matter what no matter what i can just always like say you know i i was raised in florida and people were like oh my god okay that makes sense i get it now because people are like are you on drugs are you fucked up do you hate your dad i'm like no i was just i was raised in florida yeah so yes and yes and yes i get it no no like my relationship with my parents is really awesome they're cool people what kind of what kind of background did you have what the old man do

00:25:53Guest 1:My parents were both in the military.

00:25:55Guest 1:I was born in an army base, Fort Bragg in North Carolina.

00:26:00Guest 1:And they got out right after my brother was born.

00:26:03Guest 1:Older or younger?

00:26:05Guest 1:My brother's younger.

00:26:06Guest 1:He's 27 and he lives in San Francisco.

00:26:08Marc:Nice place.

00:26:08Guest 1:Which is pretty awesome.

00:26:09Marc:Do you go up there?

00:26:10Guest 1:Yeah.

00:26:11Guest 1:I love it there.

00:26:11Guest 1:Yeah, I go all the time.

00:26:12Guest 1:I love it.

00:26:13Marc:So you had a fairly normal childhood as far as military childhoods go?

00:26:16Guest 1:Oh, yeah.

00:26:18Guest 1:In Florida.

00:26:18Guest 1:My parents are not hard asses or anything.

00:26:20Guest 1:They're just very like, you should act like an adult if you want to be treated like one.

00:26:24Guest 1:I'm like, okay.

00:26:24Guest 1:And so at a certain point, a couple years ago, I asked my mom, I was like, what was I like when I was a kid?

00:26:31Guest 1:And she was like...

00:26:32Marc:pretty much like you are now but shorter i was like oh they're pretty much the same which is what hard uh strong-willed yeah just kind of like i'm going to kind of just do whatever i want now do a lot of do a lot of people think like um like i've actually heard people say when they watch porn it's like you know what is your i wonder what her family thinks of that now like it's the weirdest question ever to me

00:26:55Marc:But it happens a lot, no?

00:26:57Guest 1:Well, it's not like I sit there and go, what do you think about what I do?

00:27:00Guest 1:My parents' opinion of what I do is really unimportant to me.

00:27:04Guest 1:Nice.

00:27:04Guest 1:Because it's like I've never looked at my parents for any sort of approval.

00:27:08Guest 3:Right.

00:27:09Guest 1:Because I've always been really on the level with them.

00:27:11Guest 3:Right.

00:27:12Guest 1:And so I'm just like, okay, well, I just want to tell you that I'm going to apply to be on this website.

00:27:19Guest 1:Because I got into business because I wanted to be on fucking machines.

00:27:24Marc:Oh, that is what they call the...

00:27:25Guest 1:No, it's a fucking machine.

00:27:27Guest 1:It's a whole website, and they have tons of different ones.

00:27:30Marc:What's the one that you sit on?

00:27:31Guest 1:The Sibian.

00:27:32Marc:That thing's insane.

00:27:33Guest 1:Yeah, it kind of makes you go numb after a while, though.

00:27:35Guest 1:It's a little bit too much.

00:27:36Marc:So you got into this.

00:27:37Marc:How old were you when you got in?

00:27:38Guest 1:24.

00:27:40Marc:And you wanted to get in specifically to fuck machines?

00:27:42Guest 1:Yeah.

00:27:43Marc:And there's a lot of different machines you can fuck.

00:27:45Guest 1:Yeah, because I saw it on HBO, and I saw it on the internet, and I just thought that was a very intriguing idea to fuck a robot.

00:27:54Guest 1:And I really didn't think... Still, to this day, I never think of people seeing it.

00:27:59Guest 1:That never becomes a concern to me at any point.

00:28:03Marc:Were you looking to get off, or just you thought it looked fun?

00:28:05Guest 1:I thought it just looked so fun.

00:28:07Guest 1:It just looked so fun.

00:28:11Guest 1:And just like...

00:28:12Marc:And you don't have to deal with the bullshit of another person.

00:28:14Guest 1:Yeah, and then you can just be like, I had sex with a robot.

00:28:16Guest 1:What did you do?

00:28:16Guest 1:You know?

00:28:18Guest 1:It's like a little bit of a street cred thing.

00:28:23Marc:I'm living in the future.

00:28:24Marc:I'm fucking robots.

00:28:25Guest 1:I'm like, I've never been to Japan, but I have seen the future, and it's fucking robots.

00:28:30Marc:And how was fucking robots?

00:28:32Guest 1:It's awesome.

00:28:32Guest 1:I've done it tons of times, and it's...

00:28:35Guest 1:It's awesome because you don't get sweated on.

00:28:37Guest 1:You have no other guy's smell.

00:28:41Guest 1:You don't have to give sexy eyes to the robot or try to do extra stuff or watch what you say to the robot.

00:28:50Marc:The robot's not very demanding.

00:28:52Marc:It's just there to serve your needs.

00:28:53Guest 1:You can roll your eyes at the robot and it doesn't get offended.

00:28:56Marc:Does that shit happen on porn sets?

00:28:59Guest 1:Well, I mean, I work with a lot of younger girls and sometimes it's really hard for me to control my facial muscles.

00:29:07Marc:Orgasmically, you mean?

00:29:08Guest 1:Well, no.

00:29:09Guest 1:When you're on set and really young girls are talking, I have to bite my tongue sometimes because I'm just like, what the fuck?

00:29:18Guest 1:What the fuck is wrong with you?

00:29:20Guest 5:What are they saying usually?

00:29:22Guest 1:Um, there was one girl that was like saying that she had lost her virginity on camera and she'd never had sex before.

00:29:30Guest 1:And, and I was like, nobody, nobody would ever do that.

00:29:35Guest 1:And then she was talking about how like she got a menorah, a dildo menorah one year from her friends.

00:29:40Guest 1:And I'm like, I thought you just lost your virginity.

00:29:43Guest 1:Like you've, you're like, you've had, you're playing with dildos and stuff.

00:29:47Guest 1:Like people who do not have sex do not have dildos.

00:29:49Marc:Let alone dildo menorahs.

00:29:51Guest 1:A menorah dildo.

00:29:52Marc:That's a fairly specific type of dildo.

00:29:54Guest 1:No one's ever given me one of those, though.

00:29:56Guest 1:Maybe I'm just bitter and offended.

00:29:57Guest 1:Like, no one's ever given me a dildo menorah.

00:29:59Marc:Had I known, I would have bought you a present.

00:30:01Marc:I don't know if I've ever seen one.

00:30:02Marc:Is that like a, that would be a nine dildo, I just don't assume, I can't even imagine what a dildo menorah is.

00:30:08Marc:I imagine it's nine dicks.

00:30:10Guest 1:Yeah, you would need the right size ones for the holes or something.

00:30:15Marc:Right.

00:30:15Guest 1:You'd probably need a pretty big menorah.

00:30:17Marc:It'd be huge.

00:30:20Guest 1:You're getting into a really high price point gift when you have to think about how big the dicks need to be to fit into every little candle holder.

00:30:28Marc:Make note of that, guys.

00:30:29Marc:Next year, if you want to buy your lady something nice and you're thinking a dildo menorah, I would definitely price them.

00:30:35Guest 1:The bigger the better.

00:30:35Marc:Yeah.

00:30:36Guest 1:I'm just going to suggest if you want her to be impressed.

00:30:40Marc:Make sure you get a big dildo menorah.

00:30:42Guest 1:And go for variety in the different ones.

00:30:44Guest 1:A lot of different dicks.

00:30:44Guest 1:No one wants them to be all the same.

00:30:46Marc:Yeah, different colors, different shapes.

00:30:48Guest 1:Black ones, some with balls, some without.

00:30:50Marc:Maybe ones that don't even look like dicks.

00:30:52Guest 1:Yeah, alien dicks.

00:30:53Marc:Yeah, alien dicks.

00:30:54Marc:Yeah, so go all out for the holidays is what we're saying here.

00:30:56Marc:That's the message Dana and I are trying to communicate.

00:30:59Marc:So when did you have sex for the first time?

00:31:02Guest 1:me yeah i was um like 16 and a half and all my other friends had sex already so i just went to a party and got real drunk and i just waited for somebody to like try to pick me up and i was like all right yeah and then i did it and then i was like that was like oh like that was why why do my friends like why are they so into this and you didn't know the guy you just know i was just like whatever let's get this done with

00:31:24Guest 1:Yeah, and then I snuck out.

00:31:26Guest 1:I was like, fuck this guy.

00:31:27Guest 1:And I snuck out, and then I never talked to him again.

00:31:30Guest 1:And I was like, okay, well, at least I'm not a virgin anymore.

00:31:33Marc:Yeah, got that out of the way.

00:31:33Guest 1:You know, I got it out of the way.

00:31:34Marc:Now where are the robots?

00:31:36Guest 1:Yeah, seriously.

00:31:38Guest 1:If I would have known about robot sex when I was 16, I could have saved myself a lot of heartache and frustration.

00:31:45Marc:So you went from fucking robots to fucking people.

00:31:49Marc:Yes.

00:31:50Marc:And then lots of people.

00:31:52Guest 1:Yes.

00:31:52Guest 1:Well, I have to just say this.

00:31:55Guest 1:A lot of people...

00:31:57Guest 1:in general, will say, well, you're a porn star, you'll fuck anybody, or you have sex with a lot of people, or whatever.

00:32:05Guest 1:But they don't really realize the talent pool is pretty small.

00:32:08Marc:In terms of who's in the game?

00:32:10Guest 1:Yeah, it's not like a worldwide fuck fest or whatever.

00:32:13Guest 1:It's like, I work with the same people over and over and over.

00:32:16Marc:Same five guys, same 15 girls.

00:32:19Marc:No, same five guys, same 150 girls.

00:32:21Guest 1:Yeah, there's so many girls in the business right now, which is what blows me away so much.

00:32:26Guest 1:About being nominated for Female Performer of the Year.

00:32:28Guest 1:Also, the XBiz Awards, which is like the other biggest publication in Adult, came out with their nominations.

00:32:36Guest 1:And I'm also nominated for Female Performer of the Year on the XBiz Awards, too.

00:32:39Marc:This is your year.

00:32:40Guest 1:I know.

00:32:41Guest 1:And then today, also, the Swedish website, it's called orgasmic.com, and I'm nominated for Female Performer of the Year on their website, too.

00:32:50Marc:Holy shit, the Swedes.

00:32:51Guest 1:It's worldwide.

00:32:52Guest 1:Yeah.

00:32:52Marc:The Swedes are digging Dana and they invented it.

00:32:55Guest 1:Black metal.

00:32:56Marc:They invented porn and black metal.

00:32:58Guest 1:They love me.

00:32:59Marc:Now, okay, so let's get down to the nuts and bolts of things because I have some fairly naive questions I need to ask because I'm rarely in this position to ask them.

00:33:08Marc:Okay.

00:33:08Marc:There's very little that you don't do sexually on screen, whether it's multiple people, anal, oral, regular.

00:33:16Guest 1:I love that it's regular.

00:33:19Guest 1:Vaginal sex is referred to as regular or normal sex.

00:33:23Marc:Well, look, I didn't mean to put a moral judgment on it.

00:33:26Marc:I didn't know what else to call it.

00:33:27Marc:Okay, vaginal, anal, oral.

00:33:29Guest 1:Yeah.

00:33:29Marc:Now, how do you get... All right, first of the basic question, do you come...

00:33:36Guest 1:Yes.

00:33:37Guest 1:For real.

00:33:37Guest 1:Yeah.

00:33:38Guest 1:There's like your body is it's like being an athlete and you practice and you practice and practice and then you have like a certain muscle memory almost.

00:33:48Guest 3:Yeah.

00:33:48Guest 1:And so when you're when you're having sex.

00:33:52Guest 1:It's like your body is sort of like it's a machine that sort of takes over and you like riding a bike.

00:33:57Guest 1:Yeah.

00:33:57Guest 1:You can almost not come.

00:33:59Guest 1:Yeah.

00:33:59Guest 1:You know what I'm saying?

00:34:00Guest 1:Because your body becomes so good at.

00:34:02Guest 1:Right.

00:34:02Marc:So you're not like you're not like in sex mind.

00:34:04Marc:You're in work mind almost.

00:34:05Marc:And you're an athlete's mind.

00:34:07Guest 1:Yeah, well, it's not even my mind.

00:34:09Guest 1:It's my body.

00:34:09Marc:Right.

00:34:10Guest 1:You know, so if, like, if it's just, like, if you know your body, you know, I know people, like, they can come from, like, being punched in the ass or something or, like, for just.

00:34:20Guest 1:Really?

00:34:21Guest 1:Yeah, just from, because you can come from repetitive muscle tension.

00:34:26Guest 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:34:27Guest 1:which will like trigger your cervix to like flex.

00:34:31Guest 1:Yeah.

00:34:31Guest 1:It's really crazy.

00:34:32Guest 1:And so I've done it also by using electropads, which is used for rehabbing people with muscular injuries and stuff like that.

00:34:39Guest 1:You love machines.

00:34:40Guest 1:You can put them on your muscles and it will tense your muscles over and over and over until it gets to the point where it tenses all your muscles so hard that it will cause you to orgasm.

00:34:49Guest 3:Wow.

00:34:50Guest 1:And so, yeah, because I've done all this stuff over the last six years and the people, you know,

00:34:55Guest 1:I think that I try to put across that it's really, it's very real.

00:34:59Marc:Yeah.

00:34:59Guest 1:You know?

00:35:00Guest 1:Well, yeah.

00:35:01Marc:Well, that's why I'm asking you.

00:35:02Guest 1:And so it's like when you tell somebody, like, you can come from, like, doing whatever.

00:35:07Guest 1:Like, my thing right now is, like, squishing.

00:35:09Guest 1:I love to be squished.

00:35:11Guest 1:And I can almost, like, if I get squished.

00:35:14Marc:Like if someone lays on top of you?

00:35:16Guest 1:Yeah, like sexy or whatever.

00:35:17Guest 1:It can make me cum just from being squished.

00:35:19Marc:Wow, you're trigger happy.

00:35:20Guest 1:Yeah.

00:35:22Guest 1:You can really train your body to do a lot of really crazy things.

00:35:25Guest 1:You know, because you can do a lot of things mentally and you can do a lot of things physically.

00:35:28Marc:Do you offer this information on your website?

00:35:30Guest 1:No.

00:35:31Marc:When did you get into the sexual self-help area?

00:35:34Guest 1:Oh, I don't know.

00:35:35Guest 1:I think that maybe it's something that I should probably like read more about myself.

00:35:39Marc:I just saw a picture of a chapter heading, squishing.

00:35:42Guest 1:I know.

00:35:42Guest 1:It's like, it's all anecdotal though.

00:35:44Marc:But it could be very helpful.

00:35:45Marc:If people could come on the Stairmaster and you could show them off or riding the stationary bike.

00:35:50Marc:I mean, it'd make the gym experience a little different for people around them because usually you hear grunting, not like, oh my God, oh my God.

00:35:57Guest 1:Dude, the grunting at the gym is too much for me.

00:36:00Marc:But not grunting.

00:36:01Guest 1:It's like, oh.

00:36:03Guest 1:That bothers you?

00:36:03Guest 1:Yeah, that freaks me out a little bit.

00:36:05Marc:Oh, grunting at the gym, you have a problem with.

00:36:08Marc:But I can only imagine that God knows what's going on in the set.

00:36:11Guest 1:Oh, yeah.

00:36:12Guest 1:The set is, I don't know.

00:36:14Guest 1:It's like being on different planets.

00:36:15Marc:It is a different plan.

00:36:17Guest 1:Yeah, that's when I'm in my work mode is when I'm on the set.

00:36:20Marc:All right, so let's take you through a scene.

00:36:22Guest 1:People act like there's something wrong with me when I get on set because I'm really quiet.

00:36:26Guest 1:Getting into the zone?

00:36:28Guest 1:Yeah, I kind of go into more of a meditative sort of state where I try to be really quiet.

00:36:35Guest 1:Yeah, yeah.

00:36:36Guest 1:Just focus on how to get everything done quickly and efficiently.

00:36:43Guest 1:Yeah.

00:36:43Marc:But is it quick?

00:36:44Marc:Sometimes it looks like it goes on forever.

00:36:46Guest 1:I was on set for like eight hours yesterday because I got there really early and we got our makeup done and everything and then we had to like wait for the director for like three hours.

00:36:55Guest 1:Right.

00:36:55Guest 1:I was like, where's the director?

00:36:57Guest 6:And what was the scene?

00:36:58Guest 1:It was for Brazzers.

00:37:00Guest 1:It's a Canadian website.

00:37:02Guest 1:They do a lot of, you know,

00:37:04Marc:My buddy hipped me to that one.

00:37:06Guest 1:That's where I saw your work.

00:37:07Guest 1:Yeah, the big butts and the big boobs and they do like office stuff and whatever.

00:37:12Marc:Do you ever do the ones where you wear the glasses?

00:37:15Guest 1:Sometimes.

00:37:16Guest 1:I don't know why people don't put me in more glasses stuff because I do wear glasses normally.

00:37:21Guest 1:I look really cute in glasses.

00:37:23Marc:I figure between braces and glasses.

00:37:25Guest 1:Yeah, I've done some glasses stuff.

00:37:27Marc:So you're on set.

00:37:28Marc:Now, let's say, how do you psych up for this?

00:37:30Marc:Like, let's say it's a three-way, it's two guys and you.

00:37:34Marc:Or let's say it's two guys and two girls.

00:37:36Marc:What's the most you ever did?

00:37:38Guest 1:Eleven on two.

00:37:40Marc:11, what were the sexes, the gender?

00:37:43Guest 1:11 guys and two girls.

00:37:45Marc:All right, so now I got to figure, before that, you're like, oh, fuck.

00:37:49Marc:I've got to get ready for this.

00:37:50Marc:This is going to go on for a while.

00:37:51Marc:There's a lot of orchestration that needs to happen.

00:37:54Guest 1:No, no, not at all.

00:37:55Guest 1:I mostly just concentrate on looking good and feeling good, and then when the other talent starts to come onto the set...

00:38:05Guest 1:I'll greet them or I'll make a little conversation with them or whatever.

00:38:10Guest 1:We kind of discuss any do's or don'ts and then just get right into it.

00:38:16Guest 6:Give me some do's or don'ts.

00:38:18Guest 6:We're about to do a scene and I'm standing here.

00:38:21Guest 1:Okay.

00:38:22Guest 1:You can pretty much do whatever you want to me except for hit me in the eyes or ears.

00:38:28Guest 4:That's it?

00:38:29Guest 1:Yeah, I'm pretty easy.

00:38:30Guest 1:And don't make me vomit.

00:38:33Guest 1:Those are like lately.

00:38:34Guest 1:That's my short list.

00:38:35Guest 6:The vomiting thing from gagging?

00:38:37Guest 1:Yeah.

00:38:38Guest 1:I know my body really well.

00:38:39Guest 1:I've been doing this forever.

00:38:40Guest 1:But vomit is so gross.

00:38:43Guest 1:I think vomit is disgusting.

00:38:45Marc:Grunting at the gym and vomiting.

00:38:47Marc:Gross.

00:38:47Guest 1:Gross.

00:38:48Marc:Oh, yeah.

00:38:48Marc:Fur, vomit, and grunting.

00:38:50Marc:If you're wondering what makes Dana D'Armand upset and grossed out, it's fur, vomit, and grunting at the gym.

00:38:57Yeah.

00:38:57Marc:Anything else goes, no hitting in the eyes.

00:38:59Guest 1:Don't hit me in the eye or the ears.

00:39:02Marc:So what about these guys?

00:39:03Marc:How much Viagra is there on the set for reals?

00:39:06Guest 1:It's not even Viagra anymore.

00:39:08Guest 1:That's like the big like, oh, no, no.

00:39:10Guest 1:It's a caverjet where people inject their wiener with.

00:39:14Guest 1:Get the fuck out of here.

00:39:15Guest 1:Yeah, it's actually it's made.

00:39:17Guest 1:It was developed for people who are like paraplegics that have no feeling from the waist down, cannot get hard on.

00:39:24Guest 3:Right.

00:39:24Guest 1:And so they inject it directly into their penis and it just makes it.

00:39:27Guest 1:A boner.

00:39:28Guest 1:So they can't.

00:39:29Guest 1:So there's perfectly able-bodied, like, 20-something boys, like, doing this to their body, and it's really bad.

00:39:35Guest 1:And also, you know, have a blood-borne pathogen issue with, you know, putting a hole in your dick and, like, having unprotected sex right after.

00:39:46Guest 1:It's all a little bit sketchy.

00:39:48Marc:Well, I've learned a lot.

00:39:50Marc:I feel a lot better.

00:39:50Marc:You're very well adjusted, and I've got to be honest with you.

00:39:53Marc:Vocally, you're great.

00:39:55Marc:I mean, I've had performers, comedy performers in here over and over again, but your voice modulation and the mic, you're at the right distance from the mic.

00:40:02Marc:I mean, literally, it's the first time that's happened.

00:40:05Guest 1:Thank you.

00:40:06Marc:Congratulations.

00:40:07Marc:I would give you an award for that.

00:40:08Guest 1:I have a lot of, like...

00:40:09Guest 1:Cock-to-mouth coordination.

00:40:12Marc:So you know the distance?

00:40:14Guest 1:I have a good sense of how far away I need to be from something.

00:40:18Marc:I notice you tweet sometimes.

00:40:20Marc:You're a little hypochondriac?

00:40:23Yeah.

00:40:23Marc:I go to the doctor all the time.

00:40:25Marc:Is it a STD thing?

00:40:26Marc:Do you worry about it?

00:40:27Guest 1:I worry about cancer.

00:40:32Guest 1:The big ones.

00:40:35Guest 1:Yeah.

00:40:36Guest 1:I want to go to the gynecologist and make sure I don't have cervical cancer or ovarian cysts.

00:40:43Guest 1:That's pretty common.

00:40:45Guest 1:STDs I'm pretty well covered on because I've educated myself a lot.

00:40:50Guest 1:A lot on all of that.

00:40:52Guest 1:And I get tested every two and a half weeks, pretty much, for HIV, chlamydia, and gonorrhea.

00:41:01Guest 1:And then syphilis isn't really around so much.

00:41:05Marc:Is the other stuff pretty rampant, like gonorrhea and chlamydia?

00:41:07Guest 1:Well, I think what people really need to read up on and really...

00:41:11Guest 1:educate themselves about is HPV, the human papilloma virus.

00:41:14Guest 1:Because everyone has it.

00:41:15Guest 1:Because everybody has it, pretty much.

00:41:18Guest 1:And it can give women cervical cancer.

00:41:21Guest 1:And it's not the kind that will show up as warts on your outside.

00:41:26Guest 1:You really have to go and get checked out.

00:41:28Guest 1:And Gardasil is a three-shot series vaccination that you can get to help prevent the four major strands that cause cervical cancer.

00:41:36Marc:And there's a lot of strands.

00:41:38Guest 1:Yeah, so I'm just using this opportunity to put that out there.

00:41:41Guest 1:And then it's not just for girls.

00:41:44Guest 1:It's not just for people under a certain age.

00:41:46Guest 1:Everybody can get it.

00:41:47Guest 1:It's really important because you don't want to be having HPV and giving girls fucking vagina cancer.

00:41:53Marc:That's right.

00:41:54Guest 1:So do it.

00:41:55Marc:I don't think guys can get tested for it, though.

00:41:56Marc:Is there a test for guys?

00:41:58Guest 1:I mean, I was under the... I think you have to assume... I wasn't clear whether or not they had a test for... Well, you can test for the... Well, if you have, like, an outbreak of genital warts, you can have, like, a swab done.

00:42:10Guest 1:You've got confirmation there, yeah.

00:42:11Guest 1:Whatever.

00:42:12Guest 1:But I think you can do a blood test for antibodies of the virus.

00:42:16Guest 3:Right.

00:42:18Guest 1:But it's something that, you know, goes... Like, a lot of viruses go in and out of remission.

00:42:23Mm-hmm.

00:42:23Guest 1:So things like that can clear up.

00:42:25Guest 1:Right.

00:42:25Guest 1:But it's something that you'll have forever.

00:42:27Guest 6:Yeah, it's a gift.

00:42:27Guest 1:And it's something that you should keep in check and, for God's sake, just go and get those shots.

00:42:33Guest 1:Because cervical cancer kills so many women every year.

00:42:36Guest 1:Yeah.

00:42:36Guest 1:I'm going to cry.

00:42:37Guest 1:It makes me feel so sad.

00:42:38Guest 1:And it's something that can be kept in check or prevented in some way if people just really... Check it out.

00:42:46Guest 1:Yeah, absolutely.

00:42:47Guest 1:Just did the homework on it.

00:42:48Marc:Do the basic stuff.

00:42:49Marc:And don't be ashamed to do it.

00:42:50Marc:I mean, that's the other issue that people have is they're afraid of the results and...

00:42:53Marc:Or they're ashamed that they think they have it and they don't do anything about it.

00:42:56Guest 1:Exactly.

00:42:58Marc:But outside of that, you don't feel personally that you're fucked up mentally.

00:43:02Marc:No, no.

00:43:02Guest 1:I mean, I'm a neurotic a little bit, but it's because I've always been.

00:43:09Guest 1:I've always been a little bit of a nervous Nelly my entire life.

00:43:14Guest 1:A little bit nervous all the time.

00:43:16Marc:That's unbelievable.

00:43:17Guest 1:But it's because I put a lot of pressure on myself.

00:43:20Guest 1:Some people are just born like that.

00:43:22Guest 1:They want to be perfect, or they're driven to... They set certain ideas in their mind, and they're driven to accomplish things.

00:43:30Guest 1:I was a figure skater when I was younger, and I was put in a competitive environment when I was really young.

00:43:37Guest 1:And so it's something that...

00:43:39Guest 1:I've always been... Something has always been driving me, but it's also, in a way, really stressful.

00:43:46Guest 1:But if you use that stress to be creative or industrious or whatever... As opposed to just let it pummel you.

00:43:54Guest 1:Yeah.

00:43:55Guest 1:A lot of people, they're neurotic, and then it breaks them, and they can't even do anything.

00:44:00Guest 1:They can't have friends or hold relationships or have a job or anything.

00:44:04Guest 1:And I've tried to take...

00:44:06Guest 1:Take the hand that I was dealt and try to do something good.

00:44:10Marc:Focus that neurotic energy in a positive way.

00:44:12Marc:See, these are more self-help tips.

00:44:14Guest 1:It gets the best of me sometimes, it does.

00:44:16Marc:Squishing and channeling your neurosis into healthy things.

00:44:19Guest 1:Yeah, I think that's a good advice.

00:44:20Marc:We've got to put the book together.

00:44:22Guest 1:I know.

00:44:22Marc:Now all of a sudden I'm part of the business.

00:44:24Marc:I can help you write it.

00:44:26Guest 1:Okay, it'll be ghostwritten by you.

00:44:28Marc:By Marc Maron.

00:44:29Marc:I want to write the squishing chapter.

00:44:32Guest 1:It's hot.

00:44:33Marc:Well, I'll be honest with you.

00:44:35Marc:You've been incredibly charming and smart, and it was very fun to talk to you.

00:44:39Marc:My guest has been Dana D'Armond, and she will win the AVN Award for Best Female Performer of the Year.

00:44:48Marc:Thanks for talking.

00:44:54Bye.

00:44:55Marc:Well, right now I'm with my therapist.

00:44:57Marc:He's my friend, but he's going to be my therapist.

00:44:59Marc:He's a therapist.

00:44:59Marc:He's almost a doctor.

00:45:01Marc:Steve Danziger, you're almost a doctor?

00:45:02Marc:I'm almost a doctor.

00:45:04Marc:What does that mean?

00:45:05Marc:You're going to be a Ph.D.?

00:45:07Marc:Well, actually, I'll be a PsyD, doctor of psychology.

00:45:09Marc:Doctor of psychology.

00:45:10Marc:This is business.

00:45:11Marc:This means business.

00:45:12Marc:We're not fucking around here.

00:45:14Marc:I got problems, and they're relative to what we all just went through together.

00:45:18Marc:You weren't in the room, but we just talked to a porn star.

00:45:24Marc:And, you know, I talked about how porn has had an effect on me since I was very young, because I saw it when I was very young, porn.

00:45:32Marc:And it changed the way I thought about sex.

00:45:33Marc:But I mean, but that aside, let's start, because this is something you specialize in.

00:45:39Marc:You deal with people who have issues around addiction of all kinds.

00:45:43Marc:That's right.

00:45:44Marc:And other family problems.

00:45:46Mm-hmm.

00:45:48Marc:All right, so look, I've been masturbating fairly regularly since I was about 11.

00:45:54Marc:And by regular, I mean, like, I try not to miss a day.

00:45:58Guest 2:Am I fucked up?

00:46:00Guest 2:Well, you know, why don't we just look at it and go straight ahead since it's going to be a short session.

00:46:04Guest 2:Okay.

00:46:05Guest 2:Why don't we go straight to the definition or our definition of addiction?

00:46:07Guest 2:Okay.

00:46:08Guest 2:And see how it fits.

00:46:09Guest 2:All right.

00:46:09Guest 2:Compulsive, repetitive use of a substance or a behavior despite negative consequences.

00:46:15Guest 2:Would you say that it's compulsive?

00:46:17Guest 2:If you miss a day, do you start to have withdrawal symptoms?

00:46:21Guest 2:Do I jones for my dick?

00:46:23Guest 2:Pretty much.

00:46:24Guest 2:That's what I'm asking.

00:46:25Guest 2:No.

00:46:26No.

00:46:26Guest 2:No, I don't.

00:46:27Guest 2:What's the longest you've ever gone, do you think, without your daily?

00:46:33Marc:Probably a couple of weeks here and there.

00:46:35Marc:I tend to believe that it's a built-in stress release device that we have, that we've been God-given.

00:46:48Guest 2:God gave us these things if you believe in that kind of thing.

00:46:50Guest 2:Well, the definition, the most important part of the definition is despite negative consequences.

00:46:55Guest 2:And so there's a lot of different variations on how people would define negative consequences for themselves.

00:47:02Guest 2:So looking back over your masturbation history, do you see any negative consequences for yourself?

00:47:08Marc:Well, yeah, sometimes if you masturbate and then you have regular sex later, you're not going to be in tip-top shape.

00:47:16Marc:There's also the idea of my mom catching me or being caught.

00:47:21Marc:I was fairly vigorous when I was younger, so there was the threat of perhaps calluses of sorts, which is a negative consequence.

00:47:30Marc:Um, there's also the idea of that, you know, maybe, you know, I am so, uh, into my, is it onanism?

00:47:38Marc:Would you call it that?

00:47:39Guest 2:Well, let's call it that for today.

00:47:40Marc:It's as biblical, right?

00:47:42Guest 2:Let's get biblical.

00:47:43Marc:Biblical.

00:47:43Marc:Yeah.

00:47:43Marc:Onanism that, that perhaps, you know, I, I didn't, uh, engage as well as I could have with another person around.

00:47:50Guest 2:I think that's for most people, that's the biggest negative consequence that happens.

00:47:55Yeah.

00:47:55Guest 2:is lacking the ability to bring that arena into an arena with other people.

00:48:01Marc:Because what if they don't do what you want them to do?

00:48:05Marc:And what if you have to think about what you think about or what you were watching earlier in order to get where you need to go?

00:48:10Marc:That's a problem.

00:48:11Guest 2:That's a negative consequence.

00:48:12Guest 2:Sure, it's a negative consequence.

00:48:14Guest 2:I have a lot of people I work with who have that particular negative consequence, especially the one where they get involved in an extreme... When I say extreme, I don't mean...

00:48:24Guest 2:Right.

00:48:42Marc:It rarely matches.

00:48:44Marc:That's why porn is available and does what it does.

00:48:47Marc:Because I would argue that some people would be like, why can't you do what the lady did in the porn movie?

00:48:53Marc:And the woman would say, well, there were two other people there.

00:48:56Marc:All right, well, not that part.

00:48:58Marc:And the woman would say, because that's a little filthy and disgusting.

00:49:01Marc:I don't want to be talked to like that.

00:49:03Marc:And then the guy would be like, all right, so that's why I watch.

00:49:06Guest 2:Right.

00:49:07Guest 2:And then the negative consequence is how much longer does that relationship last?

00:49:12Marc:That would not last long at all.

00:49:14Marc:Right.

00:49:14Marc:That's the other negative consequence, getting caught by your significant other when they go to check their email.

00:49:20Guest 2:How many times have you managed to not get caught?

00:49:23Guest 2:No, to get caught.

00:49:25Marc:Well, you know, I have dealt with, let's get, we'll move right into porn since that is sort of the topic.

00:49:29Marc:I mean...

00:49:30Marc:I've been with women.

00:49:32Marc:My second wife certainly knew that I watched porn occasionally, and she enjoyed porn in her own way occasionally, which is a rare thing, I think.

00:49:39Marc:Though I'm finding more women watch porn.

00:49:41Guest 2:Are you finding that?

00:49:42Guest 2:I've found that, yes.

00:49:43Guest 2:It's interesting, isn't it?

00:49:44Marc:In my practice and otherwise.

00:49:45Marc:Yeah, that they're getting off on it, too.

00:49:47Marc:But see, my conflict is that doesn't make it right, and I don't want to put a moral judgment on anything, because I know that on some level, the availability and the amount of porn that is out there

00:49:57Marc:And the way it is taken in is it can't be healthy for the culture, let alone for the individual.

00:50:05Marc:I understand that.

00:50:07Marc:I've declared this earlier.

00:50:09Marc:I don't download porn.

00:50:11Marc:I use porn that's there not for very long.

00:50:14Marc:I use it as a tool to get to the payoff.

00:50:19Mm-hmm.

00:50:19Marc:I guess my question is, is it like crack?

00:50:22Marc:There's no such thing as a casual crack user?

00:50:25Guest 2:Well, I don't know if I would automatically go that direction, but I can say that because of the massive proliferation of porn on the Internet, you have people who are becoming addicted to it who wouldn't have become addicted to it if it was just something that was more difficult to get.

00:50:42Marc:And so, I guess if I'm going to speculate in your field, the negative repercussions are the inability to engage intimately with another person, with a person, period.

00:50:56Marc:Because, you know, watching porn is very isolating.

00:50:59Marc:Like, I assume that there are guys that must say to you, dude, I don't get it, man.

00:51:03Marc:I mean, when I'm by myself, I get a great hard-on.

00:51:07Guest 2:And then as soon as I'm with someone else, nothing.

00:51:09Guest 2:Mm-hmm.

00:51:10Guest 2:And...

00:51:10Guest 2:It's by trade or my license is marriage and family therapy.

00:51:14Guest 2:And so our biggest goal is to be able to help people to have meaningful relationships with people.

00:51:19Guest 2:So this is a huge – one of the biggest obstacles at this point.

00:51:26Guest 2:Porn.

00:51:27Guest 2:If you think about other addictions, alcohol, drugs, they have their way of isolating the person and ruining the relationships and taking people out of their best selves so that when it's time for a relationship, they're either angry or they're doing this or they're doing that.

00:51:42Guest 2:With the porn, it's making a direct hit on just about all the levels of where a person is going to build relationships.

00:51:51Guest 2:Intimacy, you know, sexual intimacy is just one expression of intimacy.

00:51:55Guest 2:So you take that and you turn it into something like porn turns it into.

00:52:00Guest 2:It's doing the same thing to emotional intimacy, a person's ability to get emotional intimacy, their ability to – it can even affect the way people relate to friends, et cetera.

00:52:12Guest 2:If you look at the 12-step programs that exist for this problem, the one that's probably the most popular is sex and love addicts.

00:52:20Guest 2:Hold on.

00:52:20Guest 2:I'm writing this down.

00:52:21Guest 2:Yeah, write this down.

00:52:22Guest 2:I'm writing it down.

00:52:23Marc:Okay.

00:52:23Marc:Everybody write down sex and love addicts, anonymous.

00:52:26Marc:Right.

00:52:26Marc:Filthy, dirty talk in a room full of people trying not to be filthy, dirty people.

00:52:30Guest 2:And actually, if someone were to talk too filthy, dirty, someone could raise their hand and say, you're triggering me and stop with the specifics.

00:52:37Guest 2:When they just whip it out and...

00:52:39Guest 2:Trigger, triggered.

00:52:41Guest 2:Right.

00:52:41Guest 2:Yeah.

00:52:41Guest 2:No, they just raise their hand.

00:52:43Guest 2:So it's okay.

00:52:44Guest 2:So in any case, that's the most popular program.

00:52:48Guest 2:And so what has been discovered by people in that program is that sex and love are very, very connected.

00:52:55Guest 2:You know, like that very few people come in.

00:52:58Guest 2:A lot of people come in saying, I'm a sex addict or I'm a love addict.

00:53:01Guest 2:And basically within six months to a year of their being in that program, they'll probably say, oh, yeah, I'm both.

00:53:07Guest 2:Right.

00:53:07Guest 2:And because the sex addiction and porn is one of the major ways that it plays out, will have an impact on a person's ability to make a meaningful love connection as well.

00:53:19Marc:Emotional connection.

00:53:20Marc:Well, this all makes sense.

00:53:22Marc:And these are the negative repercussions of that.

00:53:25Marc:But it's still my argument holds is that if that is the case,

00:53:29Marc:I guess it really functions the same as alcohol or cigarettes or anything else.

00:53:38Marc:These things are bad for you.

00:53:40Marc:And if you do them too much, they're going to hurt you.

00:53:43Marc:But they are big business.

00:53:44Marc:Big business.

00:53:45Guest 2:Because they're addicting and they're mind-altering.

00:53:48Guest 2:Well, it's also really difficult with sex and love in the same way that people who have food problems.

00:53:54Guest 2:It's the same.

00:53:54Guest 2:These are all parts of life.

00:53:55Guest 2:Plenty of food for everybody.

00:53:56Guest 2:More food than you need.

00:53:58Guest 2:Alcohol and drugs, we don't need them, right?

00:54:01Guest 2:Food.

00:54:01Guest 2:Food, yes, we need.

00:54:02Guest 2:Sex.

00:54:03Guest 2:Sex and love.

00:54:04Guest 2:Sex, you could live without it, possibly, probably, but intimacy, social connection, probably wither.

00:54:10Marc:Yeah, because you've got all that filth in your head.

00:54:12Marc:I'll share some terms that I invented with you.

00:54:15Marc:There's something I call porni.

00:54:17Marc:Do you use that in your practice?

00:54:19Marc:No, I don't.

00:54:20Marc:I might be starting to, but... Okay, I'll explain what porni is.

00:54:23Marc:Is that, you know, if you watch too much porn and then you do get out, everyone in your head is still fucking.

00:54:31Marc:So, you know, you look around and all you're seeing is, you know, you doing whatever to them or them doing it to each other.

00:54:37Marc:Like, you're just locked in this pornified state of mind.

00:54:41Marc:Porni.

00:54:41Guest 2:Okay.

00:54:42Guest 2:I've seen it in my practice.

00:54:44Marc:Yes.

00:54:45Marc:Yeah.

00:54:46Marc:I might like you to say that and let me know if you do.

00:54:50Marc:That what you're experiencing is something another professional has called porni.

00:54:55Guest 2:Which is available to me because in the clinical world, for instance, the DSM, they don't have anything for sex addiction or love addiction or any of those kind of addictions.

00:55:03Guest 2:So it's an open book right now.

00:55:05Guest 2:You gave me one that I love and I use in a joke.

00:55:06Guest 2:Trauma bonding.

00:55:07Guest 2:Yes.

00:55:08Guest 2:I didn't invent that.

00:55:09Guest 2:That's a good one.

00:55:11Guest 2:It's a solid one.

00:55:11Marc:trauma bonding is where it's at yeah that's how we get to know each other and love each other if you're sick yes yeah as opposed to you know courting and taking the time necessary to get to know somebody and trust somebody why not just fuck and then when you're done and she's crying say well my dad's a mad depressive and then she says i know my mom was having an eating disorder okay we good we love each other yeah let's be together for six weeks or so

00:55:35Marc:Six weeks.

00:55:36Marc:I can stretch out to seven years.

00:55:37Marc:Yeah, I can hold on.

00:55:39Marc:Good man.

00:55:40Marc:All right.

00:55:40Marc:So so and also the other issue around porn is the big issue is there used to be the feminist issue was objectification.

00:55:51Mm hmm.

00:55:52Marc:But now when you have women who are more than willing to volunteer themselves to be objects without necessarily being pathological in any way that one can put a moral judgment on, they may be going against the sisterhood, but they do exist.

00:56:08Marc:And how does that play out?

00:56:10Marc:Let's broaden the discussion to culturally in terms of how men see women.

00:56:15Guest 2:Well, I think I might step outside the therapy perspective.

00:56:20Right.

00:56:21Guest 2:I think you have to look a lot further back to find the place where the switch is flipped.

00:56:29Guest 2:So culturally speaking, we've got decades, centuries, millennia of, I think, patriarchal society.

00:56:38Guest 2:So it's going to take a hell of a lot more than some of the revolutions that happened in the last hundred years, let's say, sexual revolution, etc.,

00:56:49Guest 2:to put us in a place where we have complete equality.

00:56:55Guest 2:So until that kind of thing can be shifted culturally, then you're going to have plenty of people who are sort of walking and talking the language of what has been set up over the decades and the centuries and the millennia.

00:57:11Guest 2:Yeah, I see what you mean.

00:57:13Marc:It doesn't help anything, but it's been around a long time.

00:57:15Yeah.

00:57:15Marc:All right, so, okay, tell me this then.

00:57:18Marc:Like, I've always, like, I never looked at porn stars or even the one that was just here as an object.

00:57:24Marc:I look at them as women that are wide open in a lot of ways and a little, you know, like, maybe they're damaged, maybe they aren't.

00:57:33Marc:I'm not going to even make that call.

00:57:35Marc:Right.

00:57:35Right.

00:57:36Marc:But what's wrong with me when I was, when I, like, somehow or another in my head, you know, she's sort of a prize in some bizarre way that, like, I thought, like, even though she makes her living having sex with many men and many women and does almost everything, there was part of me that was thinking, you know, in, I'm assuming, a fairly sick way that, like, but I could, I bet she could really like me.

00:58:02Marc:Like that I could connect with her emotionally.

00:58:05Guest 2:Yeah.

00:58:05Guest 2:There's the L and the S-L-A-A right there.

00:58:08Guest 2:That's it?

00:58:08Guest 2:That's it.

00:58:09Guest 4:Okay.

00:58:10Guest 2:That's it.

00:58:10Guest 2:They get connected in that way.

00:58:13Guest 2:And that way doesn't, I mean, if you think back over your own history and the history of a lot of the people perhaps that you know in your life, you know, that doesn't really result in long-term bonding.

00:58:24Yeah.

00:58:24Marc:So you're saying that I've created a sort of mythological situation in my head and an incredible challenge emotionally.

00:58:35Marc:Absolutely.

00:58:36Marc:One that really I'm not even capable of, or anybody may be.

00:58:39Guest 2:You've projected this huge, amazing sexual fantasy onto your love life.

00:58:46Guest 2:Right.

00:58:47Guest 2:It doesn't, there's no, there's no real.

00:58:49Marc:Not to mention the idea of like, you know, okay, so we're dating and she loves me.

00:58:53Marc:Are you going to work?

00:58:54Marc:Well, what are you doing today?

00:58:56Marc:Oh, six guys and two women.

00:58:58Marc:Okay.

00:58:59Marc:So you're gonna be tired later.

00:59:00Marc:Do you want me to make something for dinner?

00:59:02Marc:How is that ever going to fucking happen in a real world?

00:59:04Guest 2:Well, you know what?

00:59:05Guest 2:It does happen.

00:59:06Guest 2:I'm sure you've met along the way people who do make that happen.

00:59:11Guest 2:But the question is, in the end, what negative consequences, if any, are happening because of that dynamic?

00:59:19Marc:Why would you necessarily want that?

00:59:20Marc:I mean, I don't know.

00:59:22Marc:I guess that's a bigger issue.

00:59:24Marc:Why can't I just find a nice lady that's got a nice life?

00:59:29Marc:I have met those people, and I've had them in my life.

00:59:32Marc:Obviously, I didn't really want that.

00:59:34Marc:have a relationship with Dana.

00:59:36Marc:But why did the thought cross my mind?

00:59:39Marc:Did we get to the bottom of it?

00:59:41Guest 2:I don't know if we got to the bottom of it, but I think what I can say is that you are definitely, from what you've described to me on microphone and off, you're struggling with...

00:59:53Guest 2:Your, uh, the, the, the, the, um, fight between however many years it is of over 30 years of daily masturbating.

01:00:01Guest 2:Well, I mean, you know, regular, let's say regular, regular, almost daily with only a two week break as your max.

01:00:07Marc:Yeah.

01:00:07Guest 2:I'm sort of doing a little intake here.

01:00:09Guest 2:I tried to do longer.

01:00:10Marc:Yeah.

01:00:10Marc:Go ahead.

01:00:10Marc:Yeah.

01:00:11Marc:Okay.

01:00:11Marc:So, yeah.

01:00:11Marc:Yeah.

01:00:12Guest 2:So, so that is been your primary when all said and done, that's your, been your primary expression and experience of sex.

01:00:22Hmm.

01:00:22Guest 2:Right?

01:00:24Guest 2:I'm trying to counter that now.

01:00:25Guest 2:I know.

01:00:26Guest 2:I see it in your eyes, but I don't see your mouth moving.

01:00:30Marc:I'm trying to get into the real world with it all.

01:00:33Marc:I function pretty well there, too.

01:00:35Marc:Yeah.

01:00:38Marc:But in terms of emotions and intimacy and trust and all that stuff, I mean, that seems to get lost along the way a bit.

01:00:44Guest 2:And I personally, from my experience, my experience with clients and some of the studies that I'm doing, that's kind of the bottom line is that there is a definite impact of isolated sexual experience on a repetitive compulsive basis.

01:01:05Guest 2:Where the negative consequences might, you know, it's like with an alcoholic, right?

01:01:09Guest 2:An alcoholic can go for years and then finally they get a DUI and they go, oh my God, I must have a problem.

01:01:14Guest 2:Right.

01:01:15Guest 2:And maybe do something about it.

01:01:16Guest 2:With the porn, if the negative consequence isn't explosive enough or, you know, look enough like a life-changing thing, it's just going to keep going on.

01:01:27Marc:Sitting at home alone for three to four hour stretches masturbating to porn is not enough.

01:01:30Guest 2:Right.

01:01:31Marc:Right.

01:01:31Marc:Something more cathartic has to happen.

01:01:33Guest 2:Well, for some people, it is enough.

01:01:34Guest 2:I have had people come into my practice or be asked to be referred to a rehab based on, you know what, I'm losing three to four hours a day.

01:01:43Guest 2:But more often than not, it's my wife left me or something along those lines.

01:01:47Guest 2:What do they do at the rehab?

01:01:48Marc:Tie their hands behind their back?

01:01:50Marc:Are there just people rubbing themselves on pillows and beds in those rooms?

01:01:56Guest 2:That image was just a little too much for me, Mark.

01:02:01Guest 2:At a very poorly run sex rehab, that would be what it looked like.

01:02:05Marc:Tie them up.

01:02:06Marc:They're on their own.

01:02:06Marc:All right.

01:02:08Marc:Well, I think that we've resolved some issues, and I hope that you'll come on again to resolve other issues.

01:02:13Marc:I'd be glad to.

01:02:14Marc:It's a process, Mark, and I'm here for you.

01:02:16Marc:Well, thank you.

01:02:17Marc:That's almost Dr. Steve Danziger.

01:02:19Marc:And if any of you have issues around this, because I'd be honest with you, Steve, I've been getting a lot of email from people who have substance abuse issues because I talk openly about that.

01:02:31Marc:I've reached out to many people.

01:02:33Marc:the way I've learned and can around these issues.

01:02:35Marc:And now, you know, with your help, if people want to share their issues with that, maybe the next time we have Steve on, we can actually address some actual problems.

01:02:46Marc:And you can do that anonymously at WTFPod.com.

01:02:49Guest 2:I'd be glad to help and look forward to it.

01:02:53Guest 2:Thank you.

01:02:59Marc:Okay, folks, there's your porn-related episode of WTF.

01:03:03Marc:Thank you for listening.

01:03:04Marc:Please go to WTFPod.com and follow us on Twitter.

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01:03:17Marc:Get on the mailing list, for God's sakes.

01:03:19Marc:And please also go to PunchlineMagazine.com for everything you need to know about comedy on all levels.

01:03:25Marc:punchlinemagazine.com I would also like to add that this will be the last episode of WTF for the year of 2009 we are taking one day off I hope that doesn't bother you but we will be back at the first of the year or next Monday however you're looking at it and I certainly appreciate you all listening and please have a happy and safe new year music music

01:04:17you