Episode 312 - Nate Bargatze
Guest:Lock the gates!
Marc:Are we doing this?
Marc:Really?
Marc:Wait for it.
Marc:Are we doing this?
Marc:Wait for it.
Marc:Pow!
Marc:What the fuck?
Marc:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?
Marc:What's wrong with me?
Marc:It's time for WTF!
Guest:What the fuck?
Guest:With Mark Maron.
Woo!
Marc:All right, let's do this.
Marc:How are you?
Marc:What the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fucking ears?
Marc:What the fuck nicks?
Marc:What the fuck sticks?
Marc:What the fuck's the bulls?
Marc:What the fucking good enough?
Marc:How are you?
Marc:Mark Maron here.
Marc:This is my show.
Marc:This is WTF.
Marc:Welcome to it.
Marc:Happy you're here.
Marc:Great show today.
Marc:Funny guy.
Marc:I'd be honest with you, man.
Marc:I love doing this show, but I love it even more if I just kind of sit and whether who I'm talking to knows it or not, I'm just kind of waiting to laugh.
Marc:Well, this guy who's on the show today, Nate Bargetsy.
Marc:I think I got it right.
Marc:I've been pronouncing it a few different ways.
Marc:Nate Bargetsy.
Marc:Did I say Nick Bargetsy?
Marc:Nate Bargetsy is a guy I met a long time ago, but I don't know if I registered it.
Marc:But then I met him again last year in Michigan at a comedy festival.
Marc:And I fucking watched every set he did because I laughed every time.
Marc:And when you become old and jaded and you've been doing comedy a long time, that's a rare commodity.
Marc:The dude you can sit and watch and literally laugh every time.
Marc:Even if you know the jokes, you're just sort of waiting.
Marc:And look, comedy is completely subjective.
Marc:And it's just, you know, my thing.
Marc:He just makes me laugh.
Marc:And I was thrilled that he's going to be on the show.
Marc:Nate Bargetsy.
Marc:He's got a new album coming out on September 18th, which is only a week or so away.
Marc:So we'll get to talking to Nate in a few.
Marc:maybe i should get some business out of the way real quick i will be in ferndale michigan at the magic bag theater on september 29th uh so if you're in that area i think it's pretty close to detroit uh come see me i'm doing two shows there i think it's magicbag.com themagicbag.com something like that and then on the 22nd i will be here at the uh riot la the alternative comedy festival and
Marc:I think that's riotla.com.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:Do some research.
Marc:Doing a live WTF and some storytelling show at that.
Marc:I don't chime in much on the political activities of the world because I choose to not waste my imagination on the lies and events of desperate morons who are presenting themselves as righteous individuals.
Marc:But look, you know who you're going to vote for.
Marc:You know already.
Marc:If you don't know already...
Marc:I got to say, there might be something wrong with your brain.
Marc:Why are you going to vote who you're going to vote for?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:Maybe you'll think they're a good guy.
Marc:Maybe you think you could hang out with that person.
Marc:Maybe you believe they're bullshit.
Marc:All I know...
Marc:is that it seems to me that a good part of the country, many people are angry and frightened.
Marc:That's a bad combination.
Marc:Now, what do you do with anger and fear?
Marc:There's only a couple of ways you can go.
Marc:Either you're going to hate or you're going to hope.
Marc:That's it.
Marc:Either you're going to hate or you're going to hope that things get better or you're going to hate because it makes you feel better in that moment.
Marc:Now, relieving hate
Marc:Always 99% comes at the expense of other people's pain or feelings or something else, maybe even yourselves.
Marc:But to actually step into the realm of hope, and I'm not saying that in any jargony way because I am me and I am not necessarily a guy with faith or any spiritual rudder or foundation.
Marc:I'm not tethered.
Marc:But but hope requires something weird.
Marc:It requires a suspension of anger and fear.
Marc:It requires that you you move through with patience and that you somehow transcend for as long as possible the heartbreak of disappointment, which there is much of in life.
Marc:Getting beaten down by bad luck, age or events.
Marc:That is the definition of life.
Marc:What you do with that beating is really on you.
Marc:Either you're going to get frightened and angry and hate or you're going to get frightened and angry and cry and
Marc:and let it the fuck go and realize that heartbreak is what gives you your humility people so how do you want the country to be do you want it to be surrounded you want to be surrounded by angry frightened people full of hate looking for relief at the expense of others usually people who are less fortunate or different than they are do you want to be surrounded by angry frightened people that are willing
Marc:to suspend their hate and understand the heartbreak of disappointment and realize that that is life and maybe shit takes time.
Marc:It's on you.
Marc:And also, if you're expecting moral fiber and decency in your politician, I don't know necessarily that that's out there.
Marc:There might be a little bit of integrity to some of them, but usually they're just jerking your chain to get what they need, to hold on to the reins, to do what they got to do.
Marc:And sometimes they do it for the people, and sometimes they do it for their puppet masters.
Marc:And the ones that seem to do it the best are doing exactly what the puppet masters want them to do, but make the people believe they're doing it for them.
Marc:And that is a hell of a puppet show.
Marc:But, you know, sometimes, you know, they throw the people a bone and some ideas take fruition and things work out one way or the other.
Marc:Generally speaking, in the big picture, they pretty much work out.
Marc:Now, obviously, those of you who are OK.
Marc:Hey, I'm OK.
Marc:How's things going with you?
Marc:I'm all right.
Marc:You're not frightened and full of hate?
Marc:No, I'm okay.
Marc:The people that are okay are probably going to remain okay.
Marc:The people that are way more than okay will do everything they can to stay way more than okay.
Marc:And the people that are not okay are usually the people with the least voice.
Marc:You know, try to vote your hearts.
Marc:And by all means, vote, even if your heart's not into it.
Marc:Vote on tone.
Marc:Vote on who you think will make you feel better and make America feel good for you.
Marc:Now, look, Nate Bargetsy, this is a funny conversation.
Marc:So enjoy.
Marc:Brace yourselves.
Marc:Be careful if you're running not to crack up and hurt yourself.
Marc:All right.
Marc:He talks with a slight southern drawl.
Marc:So in this episode, the south is kind of rising again a little bit.
Marc:So let's go now to Nate Bargetsy.
Marc:did you grow up with working people yeah in tennessee i mean everybody just normal working people who doesn't work like it's like i've been doing comedy since you know i i never had i worked in a restaurant after college and during college and then after that it was comedy so i have no point of reference for like a real job i can't do anything yeah
Guest:I can't do anything either.
Guest:I worked at a restaurant.
Guest:I worked at Applebee's.
Guest:Big fan.
Guest:Still, that's where I remember my wife.
Guest:No, it isn't.
Guest:Yeah, we worked at Applebee's together.
Marc:Where?
Guest:In Nashville.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah, I worked there, and I was like 21.
Guest:But then I've also done a lot of delivery, a lot of moving stuff.
Guest:I'm really good at driving.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:I would go back to driving a truck is what I would...
Guest:I'm still waiting for that.
Guest:Like, when this comes, like, this is probably, I would imagine this, I worry about where I'm going to peak.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like, when you tweeted, I thought that was like, that could be the peak.
Guest:When I tweeted your name?
Guest:I was like, that could be it.
Guest:I could all go down from here.
Guest:Like, so anything ever that good happens, I imagine it's probably it.
Guest:And so then, now that I'm here, I was like, then that's just definitely it.
Guest:So your WTF episode, this is, from here on out, things are going to go badly.
Guest:You're going to go back to Tennessee.
Guest:I'll deliver you a washer and dryer.
Guest:And you're like, did your voice sound familiar?
Guest:Oh, well, maybe.
Marc:Yeah, I remember.
Guest:Let's do another episode about driving.
Guest:About driving, I go...
Guest:I'll be hoping to get on dirty jobs.
Guest:Nate Bargetzi, is that how you say it?
Guest:Bargetzi.
Marc:Bargetzi?
Marc:Probably supposed to be Bargetzi.
Marc:I've fucked up your name two or three different ways, but I'm putting it out in the world.
Marc:There's a Nick Bargetzi that is nailing it right now.
Guest:I fucked that up.
Guest:We're on the Nerdist.
Guest:God damn it.
Guest:No, it doesn't matter.
Guest:I've been called Nick a few times.
Marc:Yeah, I brought you up on the Nerdist.
Marc:When I saw you in Grand Rapids, I hadn't seen you.
Marc:I don't have a recollection.
Guest:I don't know if you would have.
Guest:I watched you, but I was working the door and helping run the show.
Marc:I remember you because when you brought it up that you used to run that room with Dustin.
Marc:I remember you two guys just standing there with a fucked up room with a curtain.
Marc:It was a weird shape.
Marc:It was upstairs.
Marc:Right, but it didn't feel like a full room.
Guest:It's like a box.
Guest:And then it's cut off like they supposedly have like the little green room.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But it's not a green room.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then it's just a room.
Guest:And then we would have to, you'd have to run and introduce the show.
Marc:Well, I remember you vaguely from that.
Marc:But then when I saw you in Grand Rapids, I was like, holy shit, that's funny.
Marc:And I just kept watching you because I'm like, it maybe was just a fluke.
Marc:Maybe he's not going to be funny if I watch him again.
Marc:But it was so rare that I get to watch people out in the world doing stand-up other than if they're not opening for me or if it's not here where I've seen people a million times.
Marc:It was so good to be up there and see all those dudes.
Marc:There's nothing better than watching guys doing seven minutes for 10 grand.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, you know what?
Guest:That was the best contest I've been in because everybody's credit was like a presents.
Guest:So everybody was like legit.
Guest:So there was not a complete, I don't know.
Guest:It's like everybody's so good.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then Chad Daniels who won, I just figured he was going to win.
Guest:It felt that way.
Guest:He's like, he's really good.
Guest:Yeah, he's good.
Guest:And he's been doing it for a while, so he was just like, well, this dude's gonna win.
Guest:I'd watch him go up.
Guest:That's the only way he was gonna lose if he lost it on the crowd.
Guest:It seemed like he kind of wanted to.
Marc:That's what I like about him.
Marc:There was moments where he's like, he's gonna throw this one.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:He's just gonna go.
Guest:That's all you could hope for.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Is that he's gonna just snap on these people, and they're gonna go, we want you to win, but you can't hit people and stuff.
Guest:Like, that's a thing.
Guest:That's like part...
Guest:Did you feel he might do that, though?
Guest:I don't, I mean, I, you know, if someone said Chad Daniels murdered a guy on stage last night, I wouldn't be like, oh, you know, I wouldn't be like, what?
Guest:Like, you know, you'd be like, I mean, all right.
Guest:It's possible.
Guest:I kind of saw that in him.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It went farther than maybe I thought, but I didn't know.
Guest:Was it funny?
Guest:Was it funny when he was killing the guy?
Guest:I bet he went back up afterwards and kept going.
Marc:And people dealt with it.
Marc:So, all right, so Applebee's.
Marc:Well, I mean, I listen to part of your act.
Marc:I think I got a fascination with people that live in the South.
Marc:I want them to set me straight on it and make me appreciate it as a place where a lot of different kind of people live and not just the kind of people that are stereotypically Southern.
Guest:Yeah, we're like the rest of the country.
Marc:You are?
Guest:Except New York and LA, they're the only ones that are different.
Marc:Oh, really?
Guest:I think so.
Guest:So we're the assholes?
Guest:I mean, sort of.
Guest:New York always baffles me because they are so small on America, and they're just like, this is how it is, and this is how y'all are.
Guest:And I'm like, in your own state, their people are not like
Guest:that like they're your own like they're yeah you're only 30 miles away from hill people yeah like i mean very close yeah and uh my people that i can go talk to like and get out uh let's go to upstate in the town of seven and they get it they get me they i can go to a walmart and walk around and breathe and feel good about myself and not feel like a stranger yeah yeah exactly did you grow up uh what like what was your family like were they
Guest:They were terrific.
Guest:My parents are from Louisville, Kentucky.
Guest:They've been together since seventh grade.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So you had a good upbringing?
Guest:Yep.
Marc:It wasn't like alcoholic and racist and abusive?
Guest:No.
Guest:Racist?
Guest:Do people say that?
Guest:Racist?
Guest:Oh.
Guest:That seemed like they just threw that in there.
Guest:That just felt like a weird, like an alcoholic and abusive and racist.
Guest:There was like eight black people in the South at the time.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But no, it was like normal, like a normal upbringing.
Guest:I had no, that's the thing with comedy, that always makes it scary.
Guest:That's why I don't think I'm gonna make it, because I don't have like something weird.
Guest:Like everybody that makes it, don't they have like some weird, like just comes out like their father, does something weird to them?
Marc:No, I don't think that's a qualification.
Marc:I don't know that my father did anything tangibly weird to me, other than be bipolar and a little bit neglecting.
Marc:like that's not that weird but then again i'm working out of my garage so maybe yeah maybe the big stars maybe you should go back and ask your dad to do something weird did you do anything weird to me that i can know about yeah and if he says no you say would you because i really want to make it and show i need a chance i need this to go good it's on you dad it's the least you can do to me pretend like i'm young and pretty or something i don't know help me out you have siblings
Guest:I have a brother and this is a younger brother and a younger sister.
Marc:What's that guy do?
Guest:He's a missionary.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yep.
Marc:Did you grow up with religion?
Guest:Yep.
Guest:Southern Baptist.
Guest:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:How's that going?
Guest:It's good.
Guest:I mean, I'm a Christian.
Guest:I'm not smart about it.
Guest:I'm not very smart.
Guest:But what do you mean Southern Baptist?
Guest:Like snake handling?
Guest:No, no, no, no.
Guest:Just normal.
Guest:I don't know what that means.
Guest:That's where everybody thinks that it's going to be.
Guest:That's weird stuff.
Guest:That would be weird.
Guest:If I went in and saw snakes at a church, and I even like snakes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I would be like, this is a bit much, you know?
Guest:I wouldn't be just cool with just, you know.
Guest:Yeah, they're just holding it, and that's, you know.
Guest:I watch all the snake wrangling shows, too.
Guest:You do?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But none of those are religious.
Guest:No, no, they're not.
Guest:It was a normal.
Guest:Do you know what I'm talking about, though?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:What is that?
Guest:We went to church on Sunday, Wednesday.
Guest:I was in a youth group.
Guest:Who am I thinking of?
Guest:Pentecostals?
Guest:Who does the snake thing?
Guest:No, it might be Baptist, like some sort of Baptist.
Guest:I think it's a lot in Texas.
Guest:I think they have more snakes.
Guest:Probably need a lot of snakes.
Guest:What's the angle of that?
Guest:Do you have any idea what the snakes mean?
Guest:I don't think it's that big of a thing.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:I mean, I don't know if it is.
Marc:Are you thinking I'm being like New York-y by thinking that's what Southern Baptists do?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:Well, you know, I don't know.
Guest:But I think a lot of people probably think that because they see that.
Guest:I don't even know where I got that.
Guest:Because I've seen it, so it's just like you just hear Baptist, you see that picture, and then you're like, that's probably all of them.
Guest:That's what that represents.
Guest:That's every one of them, and then you just assume.
Guest:But he's a missionary.
Guest:Where does he go?
Guest:Uganda.
Guest:No shit.
Guest:He's married, has three daughters, and he works at a school here.
Guest:They teach a lot of missionaries, and his plan is to move to Uganda.
Guest:How's that sound to you?
Marc:Are you gonna be visiting?
Guest:I guess, you know, I mean, yeah, I would love to see the nieces and see him, but we're not like, you know, my parents aren't, no one's had, like, you know one's just moved to Uganda.
Guest:It's like some weird government.
Guest:See, I could judge them, but I don't know, that's where the government just kills people every day.
Marc:that's i have no idea no we don't know anything about other snakes isn't ed i mean still in charge there no i don't even he's dead yeah yeah but that's what we were left with yeah some crazy you know uh tribal dictator yeah so you grew up with the jesus yeah i mean that's good he's a good dude you know new jesus yeah yeah and and uh and your sisters what she do
Guest:She works at a vet.
Guest:Wow.
Marc:Missionary and a lover and carer of animals.
Guest:My dad always says he's a family of people that will never make money because it's a comedian and missionary.
Guest:What did he do?
Guest:He was a teacher, but he's a magician.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I grew up with that.
Guest:Is that real?
Guest:Yeah, he's pretty good, actually.
Guest:Close-up magician?
Guest:He doesn't do tanks?
Guest:No, close-up, yeah.
Guest:He started as a clown.
Guest:It was Yo-Yo the Clown.
Guest:That's for real.
Guest:That's for real.
Guest:When I was like five, he would come and he went to my school once.
Guest:And I said, it was like, I wanted like, I remember being, I was five and he comes to school and like does this show for everybody.
Guest:And so I wanted to sit on the stage and like behind him.
Guest:Cause it was like my dad's trying to be like, yeah, they know what's going on.
Guest:And so he had this old trick and it was like, it had two, it was like a piece of wood and it had two doors that you would open.
Guest:and there was a dog in it, and you would see the dog.
Guest:He would shut the door.
Guest:The dog would go across to the other door, and you could see it cross, and when it would cross, he would open that door, and then the dog would not be in that door.
Guest:So it's a very kid trick, but the trick is that there's two dogs, and I just yell that out to all the kids.
Guest:He just goes across, and I'm just behind him like, well, Dad, there's two dogs.
Guest:I don't realize that you probably shouldn't give that trick away.
Guest:So what happened?
Guest:What did he do in that moment?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I mean, it's five-year-olds.
Guest:I don't know if any of us even probably knew what was going on.
Marc:He didn't get home and go, don't you know the rules?
Guest:Most of them walked out.
Guest:Most of them walked out at that point.
Guest:They were furious.
Guest:What kind of magician is it?
Guest:They go to the principal's office.
Guest:I had to change schools.
Guest:It wasn't good.
Guest:We lived at Trevecca Nazarene College at that time.
Guest:We lived on campus.
Guest:Why were you living on campus?
Guest:He was going to school.
Guest:He went to school late.
Guest:For what?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:He was just going to college?
Guest:Yeah, he just went late.
Guest:He had a much rougher upbringing.
Guest:He came from a family of eight, because they were Catholic in Louisville, and everybody just had... Both sides of my family are eight kids, or seven.
Guest:So he grew up Catholic.
Guest:So he grew up Catholic, and...
Guest:He wasn't really into religion or church or anything, and he grew up, and he got bit by a pit bull when he was three, and my grandmother, it actually sounds like my grandmother is a bowler.
Guest:She's in the Hall of Fame of bowling.
Guest:A bowler, yeah.
Guest:She bowled like the most 299 games without hitting 300.
Guest:And so he was going really good.
Guest:So she's in the Hall of Fame for almost.
Guest:But I mean, it's pretty high.
Marc:Yeah, it's very high.
Marc:I just bowled the 146.
Marc:I was thrilled.
Guest:Oh.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That was the highest I ever bowled.
Guest:That's good.
Marc:So she was okay.
Guest:She was good.
Marc:You knew her.
Guest:Yeah, no, she's still alive.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:She's still a bowl?
Guest:I don't think so, no.
Guest:I mean, that's the thing that kind of ended that, because he had to have plastic surgery and stuff.
Guest:I mean, this was in the 50s or something.
Guest:For getting his face ripped open by a dog?
Guest:They had to take it from his butt, just the skin.
Guest:And so I think they kind of held that against him.
Guest:Who?
Guest:My dad.
Guest:Like, even when he was three, I mean.
Guest:Your parents, his parents held it against him?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:For getting bit by a dog?
Guest:At three, yeah.
Marc:And causing that much, what, it cost too much money or something?
Guest:Yeah, it just kind of ended their, yeah, like, I mean, they had to go, I don't know how it worked, but, like, you have to quit your bowling dream.
Guest:Like, you know, I mean, your bowling dream's probably not going to,
Guest:It's already probably not going well, even if you're the best bowler ever.
Guest:There's like two bowlers that can make it.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, it's a tough life.
Guest:It's a struggle.
Marc:So your father at three killed your grandmother's bowling dreams by getting bit in the face by a dog.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:And he's had to live with that.
Guest:Well, yeah, when they grew up, they just had so many, like, I don't know, they had so many kids.
Guest:Like, I remember they tell me the story they had one Christmas.
Guest:Like, he woke up and they had presents for everybody except him.
Guest:And then I think his grandmother went and got him, like, a wallet at, like, 7-Eleven.
Guest:At the last minute.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:A wallet to not hold money that they don't even buy.
Guest:I don't know how he's going to get it.
Guest:My dad started working full time at 5.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No, he started, then he started like doing magic at like, I think like 12 or 13.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Started like messing around.
Guest:So he's been, I mean, he's been like legit real doing it for 40 years.
Guest:And he still does it?
Guest:He still does it.
Guest:He's ranked in the top 150 like greatest sleight of hand magicians in the world.
Guest:He was voted one of the top 30 funniest magicians ever.
Guest:so you grew up in show business i did but i didn't know you know what i never got it until now now that i'm doing it i didn't realize he was living i didn't know where he was going like i didn't know what gigs he was doing like he would go to clubs he went to zany's in nashville like uh you know he was in the boom yeah like uh what was his name steven bargetsy
Marc:And he's still at it.
Guest:Still does magic, yep.
Guest:What does he do, corporate gigs and stuff?
Guest:Does a lot of corporate gigs.
Guest:He did Vegas, filled in for Mack King.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Once in Vegas, which that was a cool, I wrote for the Video Game Awards in 07, and that was in Vegas.
Guest:So I was there, and then my dad's first time playing in Vegas, so we were there at the exact same time, so I got to go to the show.
Guest:How was it?
Guest:It was great.
Marc:yeah he's awesome yeah he's unbelievable and he's very funny and like if you ever like I mean you know one day you meet I was going to show you sleight of hand but it's ridiculous I know one guy Andrew Goldenhurst who is a sleight of hand guy and he does he can make butterflies happen and there's a couple other things but I know there's a whole world of that that I don't know because I like when I see magic I'm always excited by it but I don't go I gotta see some magic
Guest:No, yeah.
Guest:I never, like, I mean, that's the thing growing up with it, too, is, like, I never wanted to do it, like.
Guest:Did he practice tricks on you?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:I would see them not work.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like, just when I was, like, little.
Guest:Like, just, tricks just not, and he would just run them, you know, just run his tricks on you, like, if I run jokes on a friend, like.
Guest:Not there yet.
Guest:Just randomly, yeah.
Guest:Just, you're sitting there watching TV, and then you just see a quarter, and then it's like, and then the quarter's gone.
Guest:Just, it disappears.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then you just look at it and you just go back to TV.
Guest:It's not even impressive.
Guest:Stuff's disappearing in my house.
Guest:I'm not even kind of blown away by it.
Guest:You see your dad just sitting there and he just does something and you're like, all right.
Guest:My mom was gone for three months.
Guest:No, I'm joking.
Guest:He went extreme.
Guest:did he ever do that stuff did you ever walk out of the garage and like what are you building nah well because he never did the big stuff right so he would never but I mean there's just stuff everywhere he has uh I remember one time that I was like in their bedroom like watching TV or something they weren't home and they have uh I don't know if I'm good it's not really giving a trick away but they have like the coins sometimes they have like a false coin so you can like put it on top of it I think that's common knowledge you can see right
Guest:So I didn't know that.
Guest:So I saw like five coins and then I like grabbed them.
Guest:I was playing with them and I put them down and the false one went on it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I just, so I thought I lost cause we had like half a dollars.
Guest:We just had like silver dollars and half a dollars just all over the house.
Guest:Like we're some, like we won some treasure and, uh,
Guest:I remember the most sick I've ever been to my stomach was looking for that coin.
Guest:I was like, just for an hour and a half, just under everything.
Guest:I was like, I don't know where, where could it go?
Guest:And it took like an hour and two.
Guest:I finally realized that it was just there.
Guest:It just disappeared.
Guest:so i just we had uncut dollar bills because he would do tricks with dollar bills so he'd have to go to the bank and get just a sheet you can get those yeah and he would get a sheet and like can you just ask for them i mean yeah yeah you probably gotta give them you know whatever 20 but we just have stuff like that it's just around the house what did you use that for
Guest:Just other tricks, like cutting the dollar bills or whatever.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Did it get annoying?
Guest:Now you just get used to it.
Guest:It's not like anything that's not weird.
Guest:It's not magic.
Guest:It's never not been weird.
Guest:It's been there my whole life.
Guest:So I've never walked.
Guest:If your dad's a construction worker or whatever, something works from home, it's not crazy that stuff is all over.
Guest:It is to everybody else because it's insane.
Guest:Did you have friends who are like, this is cool?
Guest:They loved it.
Guest:I let him, he came to one birthday party and I stopped it because he, everybody like wanted to go to him and I've just seen it all.
Guest:So I was like, I thought it was my birthday.
Guest:So I thought it'd be cool.
Guest:But then everybody, no one wants to hang with me.
Guest:Cause like, I would be like, let's just go swing for a little bit.
Guest:And they're like, there's a magic.
Guest:Like they don't even like, they're like, why?
Guest:What's wrong with you?
Guest:The greatest thing in the world is going on over here.
Guest:Like, why would we go swing right now?
Guest:I'm like, I don't know.
Guest:Like, why would we not?
Guest:It's just my dad.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's like I'm just giving away his dreams.
Guest:Like, this ain't the real quarter.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Are you happy now?
Guest:You're all pissed off.
Guest:Just shooting people's dreams down.
Guest:Like, yeah.
Guest:Do you think that was real?
Guest:It's not real.
Guest:You don't even know the half of it.
Guest:You don't even know.
Guest:So anytime you see magic, you're kind of like, eh, okay.
Guest:I'm not impressed.
Guest:We, uh...
Guest:I have to, and I have to fake it.
Guest:Like, cause you know, cause magicians just will come up on you and just go into a trick.
Guest:They don't ask if you want it or not.
Guest:Like that's their, they just, they just walk up and do it.
Guest:So we do, every year we do a, I do a golf charity.
Guest:Like it's a celebrity golf charity event with Michael Finney.
Guest:who was a guy that started out here.
Guest:He's hilarious.
Guest:He's one, and he's a magician.
Guest:He was at, he has like his name on the wall at the Comedy Magic Club.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Been around for a while.
Guest:And so he puts it all together.
Guest:So it's a lot of magicians, and then comics, and then the real celebrities that people know are like Ozzie Smith, like a baseball player, like all the football guys.
Guest:So we go and do that, but we're all sitting at a table.
Guest:It's me, like Michael Finney, my dad.
Guest:It's like all these magicians that are like, you know, they're all like the top magicians in the world.
Guest:And this guy just comes over and starts doing like card tricks to our whole table.
Guest:And like no one's into it.
Guest:Like he can't even go to me because it's like my dad's a magician.
Guest:So it's not even like if I had a friend or like if my wife was there, I could be like, you go to her.
Guest:She hasn't seen it like as much.
Guest:like she's not jaded by it like but he just sat there and did this trick in front of all these magicians these everybody knows how it's done and no one he didn't know and he just didn't know he's just doing it like huh is this going y'all like this just pick a car he's telling my dad to pick like and it's just sitting there like everybody's like just does it to me because everybody's real nice and they're like oh that's great like that's unreal unbelievable buddy you should do this for a living
Guest:That's too fucking funny to me.
Guest:Oh, God.
Guest:It was great.
Guest:And what'd your mom do?
Guest:Just tolerate magic?
Guest:Yeah, she worked at a bank most of her life.
Guest:That's probably how he got the sheets.
Guest:I mean, you know, someone on the inside.
Guest:Yeah, you need somebody on the inside.
Marc:I never heard that you can just get sheets.
Marc:And I kind of just want to have a sheet of bills.
Guest:He could have a sheet of bills.
Guest:Just to look at him.
Guest:Yeah, I guess you can still do it.
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:I think he still does it.
Marc:I have no idea.
Marc:So does he come up with, because I know this guy.
Marc:This magician I know, he got a couple of tricks and then he sold one to David Copperfield.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And now he's sort of sad about it because he wants it back.
Marc:He needed the money and now he's like, I owe my chick back.
Marc:Does your dad ever do right tricks for other people?
Guest:He has his own tricks.
Guest:Yeah, he sells some tricks.
Guest:And the magic world's like very, realistically, there's like seven famous magicians.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Ever.
Guest:Ever.
Guest:Like, I mean, so outside of that, it's just no one.
Guest:But you guys were coins and cards.
Guest:Yeah, just a bunch of dudes just doing tricks for each other.
Guest:Like, yeah, and they just do it.
Guest:Like, they're all into themselves.
Guest:Like, they have magic conventions.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So they all go.
Guest:Like, it's almost kind of cool.
Guest:Like, it would be kind of, I always thought, like, with comedy, it would be fun.
Guest:Like, I guess it's kind of like when we do festivals.
Guest:Like, it's fun to be like, oh, we don't ever see each other.
Guest:Yeah, but we're not walking up to each other going, eh.
Guest:We have audiences there.
Guest:I don't think they have audiences.
Guest:No, they just walk up to each other and do things?
Guest:Just whatever.
Guest:Just keep someone's wallet for a couple days and then just slide it under his door like the third day later and be like, that was good.
Guest:I had no idea.
Marc:In retrospect, your sense of show business, did you notice just from your life that maybe your dad was going through some rough times or not getting gigs or that kind of thing?
Guest:I don't remember.
Guest:He worked.
Guest:He always had, because he could have moved to Vegas very young, like a while ago, but he didn't want to raise us there.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So he decided to stay in Nashville.
Guest:So he was a teacher,
Guest:So he would teach and then he would do like his magic stuff.
Guest:He's always inner, like he's always done his magic like within like, you know, like he was, everybody loved him as a teacher.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So he would always like do it and then do like the gigs and stuff on the side.
Guest:It was all like corporate stuff, you know.
Guest:And then now he works for TWSAA, which is like the rules committee for all Tennessee high school sports.
Guest:So he does stuff with them, and then he also goes to the schools and, like, does, like, magic and then does a talk about not doing drugs and, like, all that stuff and, like, mixes it in.
Guest:Does he make drugs go away?
Guest:You know, just makes it out of your life, just disappear, like, if you have to deal.
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:That's funny.
Marc:So, okay, so then, so you grew up with that, and when did you decide you were going to do this thing?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I didn't decide till, I was working, I was reading water meters.
Guest:What is that?
Guest:Like you go, you know, you see how much water you have?
Guest:You do that?
Guest:How much you use, I did it.
Marc:I would drive a truck.
Marc:To the water meter?
Marc:To each, like everybody's.
Marc:So you're the guy that would sneak up on houses?
Guest:No, we would just read them.
Guest:I know my guy comes.
Marc:I never know when he's going to come.
Marc:All of a sudden, I see a dude standing outside with a machine.
Guest:You're that guy.
Marc:Then you're like, what the fuck?
Marc:The meter guy.
Guest:Yeah, that's the meter dude.
Guest:We're just out there.
Marc:That was before or after Applebee's?
Guest:That was after.
Guest:Applebee's, I went through a nice drug phase.
Marc:Okay, so you finished high school.
Marc:Yes.
Guest:finished high school, went to Christian high school.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then, uh, I tried to go to college like that.
Guest:The joke about colleges for, I went to a community college for one year.
Guest:I don't have a credit.
Guest:And, uh, I took all the remedial.
Guest:Then I went to a Western Kentucky for a semester and,
Guest:And then, uh, fell out of that.
Guest:And then I actually did, uh, I think throwing stuff in, that's going to be weird, but this is weird.
Guest:Uh, there's a drunk driving simulator.
Guest:It was like a car that would drive drunk.
Guest:Like, so it would like, you would, we would take it to schools.
Guest:It was a neon and, uh, you would, you know, you would drive normal around like a little course we built.
Guest:And then the second time we would add in like how much alcohol you would have.
Guest:And then like when you go to turn, it wouldn't turn.
Guest:Then it would turn and it wouldn't like it was a delayed.
Marc:So as you, you were sitting in the seat of a car thinking you were driving, but it was being driven by a drunk ghost.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:No, no.
Guest:They would like high school kids would drive it around a course.
Marc:No, I get it.
Marc:I get it, but it would not do what you wanted it to do.
Guest:It wouldn't do what you want to do because it was supposed to show, it's showing like you're delayed.
Guest:Like if you're drunk, when you want to turn, your brain's not going to turn when you want to turn.
Guest:It's like a delay, you know, because you're drunk.
Guest:I never even heard of it.
Guest:So what did this have to do with you?
Guest:I toured around with it for six months.
Guest:You got paid for that?
Guest:Yeah, I made good money.
Guest:I had like seven grand saved just completely, because I went on the road, and we would just go to high schools all up the East Coast, and we would just drive in a truck, and we would tow, we'd have a trailer with the neon car, we'd go to high school to high school, and then just set it up in the parking lot.
Guest:And say, get in?
Guest:Yep, drive it, make a little mini track, and then have kids come and drive around.
Guest:Did you feel that it was effective?
Guest:No.
Guest:For the kids?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I mean, they were all like, you know, they're like, mug, drop better drunk.
Guest:Like, all that.
Guest:Like, you know, enough to you're like, I don't care, dude.
Guest:Like, just go.
Guest:Get in the car.
Guest:Then I start getting into it.
Guest:I'm like, well, actually, you can't, all right?
Guest:Your response is, I wasn't even known enough to drink yet.
Guest:I was 20.
Guest:Well, you know what, buddy?
Guest:You can't, all right?
Guest:You don't even get it.
Guest:You don't even get what's going on.
Guest:Guy one year younger than me.
Yeah.
Guest:I've lived it.
Marc:You don't even, dude.
Marc:I understand this car.
Marc:So I did that.
Marc:All right.
Marc:And then you got the job at Applebee's?
Guest:And then I came back and started, I just lived with my, I moved back in with some buddies.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:We had an apartment.
Guest:I had like seven grand saved up.
Guest:The day I arrived back, my friends say they want to drive to Florida.
Guest:for some reason and i was like i don't want to go i've just been on the road you know for six months and then they go we're going so they just took my car to florida and then i stayed and i didn't work for like a few uh i didn't work for a few months then that's when i got like into drugs because he had seven grand saved
Guest:Yeah, I had seven grand, and I just started partying.
Guest:I turned 21.
Marc:What drugs were the thing?
Guest:Actually, surprisingly, a lot.
Guest:I did a lot of coke.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Then I led into finally getting a job at Applebee's.
Guest:That was like your rehab?
Guest:Applebee's?
Guest:Well, no, that's where actually the Coke started.
Guest:Restaurants are the worst.
Guest:They're the worst.
Guest:But what started there was like it was just weed, and then it went into like X and acid.
Guest:Yeah, a lot of acid?
Guest:Yeah, we would go.
Guest:I remember we went to a widespread panic concert, just a parking lot.
Guest:to get acid and this it's like just like i'm just lucky i'm not dead because we just went into like some dude's van and you just like my buddy just goes in and i walk around the corner like eight seconds later like and he's like this dude's cool i've known him and you're like you've been here eight seconds longer than me like and he's like just stick your tongue out and then we just stick our tongue out and he just puts like three drops on it yeah so then we drive away and
Guest:And you know what?
Guest:We picked up this.
Guest:We met this guy there.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:This kid named Nash.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But his real name's not Nash.
Guest:I think he literally just whatever town he goes to, he just takes the beginning of it.
Guest:So he was in Nashville and he just makes up like he was like, my name's Nash.
Guest:And it wasn't his name.
Guest:But he said he was like telling us that he's been doing acid forever and like he's a pro at it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So we're like, you know, you take it, you're driving, you're like, that stuff's not going to work or whatever.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then we stopped at my buddy that worked at a pizza place.
Guest:We stopped there.
Guest:We told him we took it.
Guest:We're like, it's not really working.
Guest:I don't know if it's going to kick in.
Guest:And that's when we see Nash run and just jump over the hood of my car.
Guest:And he's like, I think I feel something.
Guest:You're like, do you?
Guest:This is just a dude we don't know.
Guest:We just met a few hours ago.
Guest:And so then we go.
Guest:And we go to, we were friends with a girl.
Guest:And I think I was dating a girl that worked at Hooters.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So we get to Hooters, and that's when it really starts kicking in.
Guest:So my one buddy, John Paul, is like, I'm going to go into Hooters, because he was like, I'm the only one that can handle.
Guest:We can't all walk in, because we look like in nut jobs.
Guest:So then I'm standing out by my car, and then I think my car is rolling backwards.
Guest:So I start just grabbing the back end of my car, and I'm just trying to hold it from rolling, and it's not moving.
Guest:People are just coming out of Hooters, and I'm just holding onto the back of a car.
Guest:that's going nowhere that's in park and no one's even in it like it just looks like i'm a psycho and you're sweating sweating just holding on to this car and then we go back to uh the apartment that we had that we just trashed uh you know i mean just here we go back there and then i remember like these girls is nash still with you
Guest:Nash is still there he hung out the whole time so we come back and these girls come over they went to like another Christian school and so we're like all on acid and we're like we don't know what's going on then Nash just gets up off the couch and just takes off running out the door and he's like I'm freaking out man and he just starts running so we have to go try to find him this dude we just met
Guest:And then this girl that's in the, I remember she comes up to me and starts telling me how she took acid once swimming with sharks, which I'm just like, what?
Guest:Like, you're like, you know, 17 at a Christian school?
Guest:Like, there's no way.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like, you could just do that.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And so they find Nash in, like, some corner of the building of the apartment complex, and he's just freaking out, this dude.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then we think he's going, I don't know.
Guest:we thought he was gonna die and then we were just sitting there like if he dies we should just leave him out there we don't know him like you know we don't know him like for real like I don't even know who to call he said he was good on acid like who lies yeah he should pay for that yeah and he didn't even it's not even his real name that's it acid's like it was like twelve dollars too like it's it's a crazy drug that's crazy twelve dollars how long were you up for though like twelve hours
Guest:Yeah, I mean, into the next morning.
Guest:I remember laughing at him at one point because he thought his hand was coming off.
Guest:And we were like, it just all, like Nash was like a huge, I don't know where he's at now.
Guest:I wish I'd like to find him.
Guest:He's listening.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:There's always those guys that pop in and you're like, what else?
Guest:He's just a complete freak.
Guest:If you know anybody with the first name of whatever town you're in, there's a good chance that guy could be Nash.
Marc:If you follow the guy through three cities and he's changed his name.
Guest:Everywhere he goes.
Guest:Everywhere he goes, that's probably this guy.
Guest:There's a good chance of that dude.
Marc:Oh man, I remember dudes like that where you're like, what happened to that guy?
Marc:Yeah, they're just, that was a whole, and that was like, ugh.
Marc:This is like their job, those guys.
Marc:They just showed up, and they're, okay, that's it, dude.
Marc:We picked up a guy once.
Marc:Me and my brother were driving to a Grateful Dead concert, and this guy was a little evil hippie.
Marc:like you know we picked him up he was hitchhiking we could tell he was going to concerts we gave him a ride and we get to the hotel he's like can i stay at your hotel room like yeah all right they don't ever care to ask like they don't they have no boundaries yeah yeah and then all of a sudden he's like he's he's ripping up match you know the paper matches yeah he's ripping them up into little squares i'm like what are you doing he's going i'm
Guest:selling acid it's just guy he's gonna go rip off hippies and selling pieces of cardboard it's acid i'm like oh you're a bad guy you're not one of that's the you could sell acid too because it takes so long oh yeah i mean you could be like in another state before that person will ever and then even if it doesn't work you're thinking like even the next day you're like it could kick in yeah like any moment i took some once a paper that was just paper
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You're still like, it's just going to kick in one day, like 20, it's like ridiculous acid, like 25 years later.
Guest:It's like that stuff.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:It was really good.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Long wait.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That guy should charge more.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's a surprise.
Guest:This will kick in when you are way done with doing drugs.
Marc:I mean, you're sober for three years.
Guest:Your life's better.
Guest:You probably have a kid.
Marc:Boom.
Marc:Boom.
Guest:You're tripping.
Marc:You don't even know.
Marc:So Applebee's, I don't know, that's a corporate chain, so you had to wear the apron, the hat.
Marc:Did you have to wear a hat?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:I'm fine with all that.
Marc:You are?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:What do you mean you're fine with it?
Marc:You mean retrospect?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:You wouldn't do it now.
Guest:I mean, I hope.
Guest:I mean, we'll see.
Guest:We'll see if I don't have to do it now.
Guest:I hope not.
Guest:It was just what you did.
Guest:It was what you worked at Applebee's.
Guest:And you like the food there?
Guest:Yeah, I still go to Applebee's quite a bit.
Guest:I'm the worst when people come visit New York.
Guest:They're like, where should we go eat?
Guest:There's an Applebee's in Times Square.
Guest:It's right in the heart of things.
Guest:They have a cool window that you can see.
Guest:You don't take people to Applebee's.
Guest:I have taken it.
Guest:I mean, I don't know.
Marc:What do you like about Applebee's?
Marc:Just because it's consistent?
Guest:Yeah, it's what it is.
Guest:And Mountain Dew?
Guest:It's some weird thing.
Guest:I have a Diet Mountain Dew.
Guest:Diet Mountain Dew.
Guest:You grew up with Mountain Dew?
Guest:Yeah, but not crazy.
Guest:Mellow Yellow.
Guest:Mellow Yellow.
Guest:That was it?
Guest:We drank that, yeah.
Guest:But then I started drinking Diet Drink, so I'm like, that's sugar.
Guest:It's like too much sugar.
Guest:And you married the girl that you met at Applebee's?
Guest:Yep.
Guest:She was at my 21st birthday.
Guest:That's when you met her?
Guest:Yep, and that's when I met her.
Marc:And you've been with her, how old are you now?
Guest:30, I just turned 33.
Guest:What does she do?
Guest:She works, she's like, I think it's some event planning for some corporation.
Guest:You think?
Guest:No, it's like she sets up, I don't know exactly, I couldn't tell you the name of it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But it's like she sets up corporate events, so they have corporate outings.
Guest:Did she ever hire your dad?
Guest:She has not, they hired a magician though.
Guest:She tried to hire, she was gonna do a show at Caroline's.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:And it didn't, but it didn't happen.
Marc:And you guys are still getting along good?
Guest:Yeah, she's pregnant, so.
Marc:Get the fuck out of here.
Guest:And you're prepared for that?
Guest:I think so.
Guest:I am.
Guest:I am.
Guest:I'm ready.
Guest:I wouldn't have been ready a few years.
Guest:Like, I was worried.
Guest:I didn't want to get pregnant because I wanted to, like, at least, like, know I'm supposed to be doing comedy, even though I still, like, question it.
Guest:But, like, I made, at least made money, like, some money this year, enough to be like, all right, like, hopefully this is going well.
Guest:Like, I can make a living at this.
Marc:Well, that makes you different.
Marc:It seems like you grew up with a pretty good environment and, you know, family's important.
Marc:Like, you know, I don't have any kids.
Marc:I don't know how the hell that happened.
Marc:You gotta make that happen.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's gotta be something you wanna do.
Guest:It's, I do, I do, yeah.
Guest:I do wanna, I do wanna kid.
Guest:You know what's Tuesday?
Guest:I know, I talked, I'm friends with Big J.
Guest:He was telling me once, like, a few years ago, like, I would always be able to be a comic, whether it has to be, like, if I have to just go on cruises, ships, for the rest of my life, it's, like, I can, you know, it's at least I've done it enough to be, like, if I, you know, if for some reason my dream doesn't happen, like, I can go do all this other garbage.
Marc:Oh, you mean just be a nuts and bolts comic that's capable of?
Guest:That just does the road and no one cares about, and it's just miserable.
Marc:You've sort of integrated that into the possibilities?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I at least have hit the point that I can go that, I've at least built one hour up.
Marc:That's completely clean.
Guest:Yeah, so I have that one hour, so I could just ride it to my grave.
Guest:If I don't want to at all, but at least I have the comfort
Marc:But still, it's like you're approaching comedy.
Marc:It's like, well, this is a business.
Marc:You know, if I don't become, like, what's the dream?
Marc:To become the Brian Regan?
Guest:I mean, yeah, that would be a dream.
Guest:I was, I mean, this is like the dream, like ultimate is like Seinfeld's.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Like Seinfeld, like even Kevin Jane, like that sitcom route, Romano.
Guest:Right.
Guest:That would be the ultimate dream for me.
Guest:And, you know, so like if I'm going to still obviously I want to do that.
Guest:And that's my route.
Guest:But I don't know.
Guest:I like to I don't I don't like to.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I don't like to dream too crazy.
Guest:I've learned early on.
Marc:That's not crazy.
Marc:That's reasonable, but I think what's more interesting is that as a backup plan, it's still comedy.
Marc:The first backup plan is like, I can do boats.
Marc:I can do cruise ships.
Marc:I can play anywhere, basically.
Marc:And then the plan C is back to Applebee's.
Guest:Well, I'd probably go to like FedEx.
Guest:I worked at FedEx too.
Guest:I drove trucks.
Guest:For the benefits?
Guest:No, I just like driving trucks.
Guest:I like being, FedEx was like, I liked it because you could be done at any, like you knew what you had to do.
Guest:Like you would look in my truck.
Guest:I knew how many boxes I had.
Guest:So how fast I wanted this date in was up to me.
Guest:If you want to take forever, even when I delivered appliances, mattresses, but it's like you knew what you had.
Guest:Some days end at 10 in the morning.
Marc:But it didn't matter to your boss.
Marc:It's like the truck's loaded.
Marc:That's your ship for the day.
Marc:And you could be like, well, I got two hours.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I think I'll go to the movies.
Guest:If you want it, yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I like, yeah.
Guest:Even though you're working for someone, you still have some freedom.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You just plan around the boxes.
Marc:You got to chart your course.
Guest:Whatever you want to do.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:If I need it to get, you know, if I got to hurry up, I'll hurry up.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Well, that makes sense.
Marc:So FedEx is the plan C. I like an end in sight.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:End in sight.
Marc:And also you can see a break between like, well, those two boxes go, they're only a mile away from each other.
Guest:They're close to each other.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:We delivered in New Jersey one time, and I blew them away with how fast I was delivering FedEx in New Jersey.
Guest:I've never been in New Jersey.
Guest:They tried to get me to come back a lot after I quit.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Like during Christmas.
Guest:Because you were the guy?
Guest:I mean, I was just crushing it.
Marc:But during a standard work week where there were other guys who were like, hey, slow down, asshole.
Marc:I mean, pace yourself, will you?
Guest:Well, a lot of it was like temp stuff.
Guest:I think in Jersey, though.
Guest:That time I went to Jersey.
Marc:What do you mean?
Marc:You're talking like you were stationed there.
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:I was in Queens.
Guest:I mean, Brooklyn.
Guest:Delivering.
Guest:Yeah, right outside Williamsburg.
Guest:That's where I first started when I moved to New York.
Guest:So when you were doing comedy, though, already.
Guest:I was barking at the Boston, and then so I would be there at 7, and then I would go deliver from 7 in the morning to...
Guest:10 or even after.
Guest:And I did that for a while, and then eventually that got too much, so I just changed to like, you know those jobs you get in college where you just load the trucks?
Guest:I'm not delivering now.
Guest:I would do that from like five in the morning to like 10 in the morning.
Guest:So then when I was at the Boston, I would just stay up all night and then go right into FedEx and then go home and go to sleep at 10 in the morning.
Guest:Let's go back to where did you first do comedy?
Guest:I started in Chicago.
Guest:How'd that happen?
Guest:Because my buddy, when we were reading water meters, he wanted to do improv at Second City.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I was like, I've always kind of wanted to do comedy, so I'll move to Chicago with you.
Guest:He was just like, let's just move to Chicago.
Marc:So you guys were just driving around in a truck doing water meters?
Marc:Just reading water meters.
Marc:But you were partners?
Marc:No, we just worked together.
Marc:You have your own route when you read water meters.
Marc:So he said, I'm going to Chicago.
Marc:And you're like, I got nothing.
Guest:Yeah, well, another friend said, like, oh, there's another guy that kind of wants to go, and then we both just... But you've never done stand-up before?
Guest:I have not.
Guest:First time was in Chicago.
Marc:And how'd that all work out?
Guest:So you get to Chicago, did you get a job?
Guest:Yeah, we didn't work at the beginning, and then I took some improv at Second City.
Guest:I didn't really care for that.
Guest:Why?
Guest:And I signed up, I don't know, because it's like, I don't like...
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I feel like I don't want to, like, if I think I'm funny or something, I don't want someone else to, like, ruin it.
Guest:You know?
Guest:Like, the one thing I love about watching improv is I like watching the one, there's always one person that just ruins, like, when you see something going so good, and then you just see someone coming in and be like, I cannot wait till this person comes, and they are just gonna, like, you see everybody just nailing everything.
Guest:It's like, it's all going great, and someone just comes and just ruins the whole idea that they're doing.
Guest:just says no or something.
Guest:And no just could be it.
Guest:Or just a bad joke.
Guest:Just a bad joke.
Guest:Just ends it.
Guest:And they've been waiting the whole time.
Guest:The whole time to jump in.
Guest:Just sitting there.
Guest:You see people trying to cut them off because they're like, we should just, you know, this person's going to ruin this.
Guest:And so they just keep going and they just come in.
Guest:They try to get as much in as they can before he comes in and ruins it.
Guest:So do you work at the airport?
Guest:No, I don't.
Guest:All right.
Okay.
Guest:And that's it.
Guest:It could be that easy.
Guest:They could just end it.
Guest:Isn't that a rule, though?
Guest:You can't say no?
Guest:You're not supposed to, but the ones that are not good... Go ahead.
Guest:I don't work at the airport.
Guest:Do you want to try again?
Guest:Why would I work at the airport?
Guest:I don't live near an airport.
Guest:And everybody's just out.
Guest:everybody's out everyone's baffled he's just fucking the whole thing is over that's and that's all you know that's improv how many times yeah yeah how many times that could happen yeah so you didn't like working with other people i guess yeah yeah i didn't like you know and so then i took a stand-up class you did yeah who taught that this guy jim routh like comedy college
Guest:Oh, I don't know that.
Guest:It's in Chicago.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:And it helped?
Guest:It just made you, it helped with the fact that I didn't know what to do.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So, and it puts you with people that are just starting to, so you don't just have to go to an open mic and like, you know, be trashed on by some, not that comics would do that.
Marc:I used to be kind of weird about comedy classes because I come from this.
Marc:I didn't take one.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But I think that, in all honesty, to get that first five minutes together and to be able to do it for your class and work, it probably helps out.
Guest:It's supportive.
Guest:I mean, it's like there's rooms.
Guest:There's open mics that you go to that are all very supportive, and they all stay.
Guest:Right.
Guest:There's no audience there.
Guest:But you wouldn't know.
Guest:When I went there, I didn't even know anything about Stand Up.
Guest:You watched it?
Guest:I mean, a little, I knew Seinfeld and Cosby and Sinbad, any big people.
Guest:I didn't grow up watching any.
Guest:You weren't a comedy guy?
Guest:No, I was not.
Guest:I mean, I liked comedy, and I was funny, but I never knew you could do it as a job.
Guest:I never even thought about that.
Guest:Right.
Guest:you know yeah even though my dad was doing magic he's like i didn't i just didn't know i just didn't pay attention i guess what were you doing sports uh a little bit no not doing drugs uh i knew nothing i don't know i just don't pay it i don't pay attention to stuff i don't i don't pay attention to nothing at all so when did you get the bug when did you know that you're like fuck i gotta
Guest:I, so I just started doing it in Chicago and it just happened very quick.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I started taking the class and then you, uh, it was slow at the beginning.
Guest:Then we started doing open mics and then you go from there.
Guest:Then I, uh, another, then I moved, I was going to, I was there two years and I was like another guy, Sven Wexler, I don't know if he's doing comedy anymore.
Guest:He wanted to move to New York.
Guest:So I went home for like four months, delivered some mattresses, made a little extra money.
Guest:Mattresses?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I can always go back to a delivery job.
Guest:You gotta work with another guy for that though.
Guest:Yeah, he had his own business.
Guest:So you were just in the truck with that guy?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You didn't get the drive?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I did sometimes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I drove one guy that didn't have his license, so he would always drive, and then if we had to go to a checkpoint, then I would have to switch places, like on the interstate, because he has no license and been arrested.
Guest:He's been shot in the face at some point.
Guest:So just like, I mean, God knows what's going to happen if they find out he's driving.
Guest:You're part of it.
Guest:I'm just part of it.
Guest:So in the middle of the interstate, we just have to get up and switch places as we're driving down the interstate, and I just pull up like, hey.
Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, I've been driving for all night, it feels like.
Guest:You actually had to put on a show?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:You probably didn't have to, but you thought you... You know, just really sell it.
Marc:But you're spending all that time in the truck, don't you?
Marc:Fucking have to listen to their stories.
Guest:Yeah, you just, well, you would.
Guest:Yeah, you'd just talk.
Guest:You're truck drivers, dude.
Guest:We're delivering stuff.
Guest:Yeah, you're out there living the dream.
Guest:You're just living the dream.
Marc:I can't picture those long periods of silence and just sort of like,
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But sometimes it gets comfortable.
Guest:If you've been working with a guy for a while, but the silence even, you think about it.
Guest:You've got the radio on, though.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But you think about the silence.
Guest:You're like, it's weird.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And then someone goes like, this song's great.
Marc:You remember when this came out?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And then it leads to a story.
Guest:Then leads to it, yeah.
Marc:What happened to your face?
Guest:What happened?
Guest:Hey, what about that shot thing?
Guest:You wanted to take to that story again?
Guest:Like when you got shot in the face?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:How many times did you hear that story?
Guest:A good bit.
Guest:He was like a drug dealer.
Guest:They got shot like point blank.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Did it fuck his face up?
Guest:No, he had like a scar.
Guest:He was a lunatic.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That dude was like, but you know what?
Guest:He was a good guy, but he was just like, he could do anything.
Guest:Could fix cars, fix anything.
Guest:I'm always jealous of those guys.
Guest:Those are the perfect, like there was a guy that I worked with at the water company that was like a redneck dude that once, when 9-11 happened and the planes left from Massachusetts, they were like, planes came out of Boston.
Guest:And then he asked like, are we friends with Boston?
Guest:So he didn't even realize it was just the most insane thing to ask.
Guest:How does the state feel about Boston?
Guest:Are we?
Guest:No, not the state.
Guest:America.
Guest:Is America cool with Boston?
Guest:Like Boston's its own country.
Guest:So are they fine?
Guest:So he's that guy, but if you have a pregnant cow, guess who you're going to call?
Guest:That guy.
Guest:You're going to call that guy.
Guest:That guy's going to do a lot of stuff for you that you don't want to go do.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's a perfect balance.
Guest:Like he's a good, he's the best.
Guest:He could birth cows, huh?
Guest:Yeah, that's what he does.
Guest:Does it, you know.
Guest:Fix the car.
Guest:Does it and probably goes to eat.
Guest:He goes and eat.
Guest:That would wreck my whole day.
Guest:Oh, God.
Guest:Just seeing it.
Guest:Just seeing it, your whole day is just shot.
Guest:I got way down.
Guest:That was too much.
Guest:I can't even.
Guest:You just picture it.
Guest:And he just goes and eat.
Guest:He goes to work.
Guest:He does what he does.
Marc:Did you grow up around animals?
Marc:No, no, no.
Marc:God.
Marc:All right, so you moved to New York and you got this dream and you got this chick that you married already?
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:We lived long distance for like four years.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:And then she came.
Guest:I was in New York.
Guest:So I was in Chicago and then New York for two years.
Guest:And then we got, and that's when I was at like working at the, I was at the Boston.
Guest:So you'd go down there and you'd hand out flyers.
Guest:I was handing out flyers.
Marc:How much time did you have at that time?
Guest:Oh, five minutes.
Guest:That's where I got.
Guest:That's where I think I learned.
Guest:Someone ever asked, but like the young comics, but I always say I think it's important to get a good five minutes to learn how to murder, to learn what it sounds like to really destroy.
Guest:Absolutely.
Guest:So you can have that in your head, so you can always be like, I got to get back.
Guest:Because then I started having trouble following my own five minutes because the first five was so tight.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:that i was like oh these are the other jokes i'm gonna have to move that to the end drop off so now you got to switch to so you learn how to like yeah no i don't know that people sometimes if you depend where you come up like if you come up in new york you got a punch you know you i mean you've got it you got to do it yeah and now uh there's a lot of these you know comedy comic run rooms and a lot of rooms that don't even have like real audience members yeah you don't even know what they're doing there yeah you know someone brought them to get on stage and that shit
Marc:And I just wonder because I just remembered the first seven or eight minutes where it's like the opening's got to fucking kill and that second joke's got to kill and everything's got to fucking, every joke's got to fucking kill.
Guest:The opening was like too, the opening has to like, it's got to be very fast too.
Guest:Got to get in.
Guest:And then just, okay.
Guest:Yeah, okay, I'm in.
Guest:And they can sense, I mean, I can tell now that I've done it longer, is that, like, I can go slower up top, because I know where I can, you know, I can get you if I have to get you.
Guest:And, which I mean, I have to get, but they, so, but, like, then it was, like, I mean, I had to do the best.
Marc:If I listen to tapes of myself from when I started, the pace you're going and the intensity of that first fucking joke, you've got to hit it because that's your doorway.
Marc:If that thing doesn't hit, you're like, oh, now we're in trouble.
Marc:I've been out here 45 seconds and I'm in trouble.
Marc:Yeah, it's already not going good.
Guest:That quick.
Guest:It's already, I've only got seven more jokes.
Guest:There's not even a job.
Guest:You couldn't even, if you walked into your job and murdered someone, it would take longer than 45 seconds to people to realize what's going on and stop liking you.
Guest:Like that's how quick people can not like you on stage.
Guest:It'd take him a couple minutes.
Guest:He's like, what just happened?
Guest:Wait, did he have a gun?
Guest:Does Billy, the guy I like, have a gun?
Guest:And then it would be longer.
Guest:I could walk in on stage in front of those same people and they would hate me so much faster.
Guest:Oh, 45 seconds.
Guest:Yeah, you'd hear gunshots down the hall.
Guest:Something's happening.
Guest:Is that fire?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Is that what's going... And some people in comedy, you're not even on the stage.
Guest:I hate this guy's face.
Guest:So he's not even there yet.
Guest:Oh, he's just the vibe.
Guest:As they bring him up.
Guest:As they bring him up.
Guest:Guy could not even be going up.
Guest:He'd be like, I was just going to the bathroom.
Guest:And they're like, well, I hate you.
Guest:It's so fucking true.
Guest:Just that sometimes you sense that fear in their eye.
Marc:I mean, sometimes I see that now and it's just sort of like...
Marc:I don't know what to say, you know, like because now everybody, there's so many confident, like we all pretend to be confident because you have to be.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And then you get these guys, you're like, oh, yeah, I fucking kill.
Marc:You know, great.
Guest:I'm going to take a look, you know, and they get up there.
Guest:It's just like fear, just like thinly veiled fear and panicky jokes.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:That's what I would say when you get to learn to murder, because I would hear people come off.
Guest:So what they always heard that they've done on stage is not doing good.
Guest:Oh, no.
Guest:No.
Guest:So they'd come off, and you'd be about to go, like, dude, this crowd, I didn't do.
Guest:And right before you say it, they're like, that was unbelievable.
Guest:And then you're like, yeah, that was, all right.
Guest:That was great, man.
Guest:You did really good up there.
Guest:Like, I didn't know how to, like, you're like, are you insane?
Guest:Like, are you not even, like, sort of?
Guest:Do you have headphones on?
Guest:Or, like...
Guest:What is going on that you thought?
Guest:But that's the difference between, like, you being a real comic and some guy who's probably not doing it anymore.
Guest:Yeah, there goes.
Guest:And he's driving a truck.
Guest:And that will one day come to me and go, I used to do comedy, did you?
Guest:All right.
Guest:Yeah, twice in New York.
Guest:Like, holy shit, I saw you.
Guest:You're the guy who got off and thought he'd kill.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:twice this is what you're thinking then he goes yeah crushed twice in New York oh yeah he still thinks he did I remember you yeah of course he's able to hold on to that yeah I fucking hate that that you've been doing it long enough to where you hear the guy that's on before you and even though you know you're a different guy you're like oh that's their limit
Marc:that you know you hear the audience you're like that's that's who they are yeah so i can you just naturally temper yourself for that shit yeah yeah do you still do you do that you know like the audience yeah yeah where you just you're listening to the audience reacting and you can almost like just innately tell like oh that that side's yeah though that table is going to be a fucking problem
Guest:Oh, I've picked a guy out.
Guest:He had one foot in the door to a comedy club, and I go, that guy's going to be a situation.
Guest:And I went on stage, and then he was, and I was like, dude, I was so happy because I go, buddy, you don't even know.
Guest:I said literally probably an hour ago,
Guest:That you were going to be a problem, and you're a problem.
Guest:Like, how unbelievable is that, that I could call?
Guest:You didn't have both feet in the door, and I could tell that you're just going to be loud, you're going to be obnoxious.
Guest:Usually it's a few guys.
Guest:It was one guy.
Guest:there's one guy with uh but it was a it was like two couples yeah but uh the one of the couples belled on that couple because they were embarrassed and it was at uh eastville comedy and they there was almost a fight and that place has got tile floors and it's horrible i mean it's not like i like mark going to the club's okay but there's sound bounces around in there yeah you can hear everything like if anyone says anyone anything in there you can hear them the weekends there though that's like i mean that's i think one of the best
Marc:it's a great room because it's got the low ceilings and you know and it gets real new it gets real new yorkers like it's not really tourist it's all like real yeah when he first opened that i played that but i did notice the tile floors i'm really sensitive about sound you know like i i don't like having to fight the sound situation yeah like sometimes when i'm at clubs and i will just blow like when you get on stage and the mic's sorting out and you're like you guys need one thing oh dude one thing to work oh for
Marc:It just baffles me.
Guest:It blows me away.
Marc:The mic stand fucking, all these broken mic stands everywhere.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know, like when the stand comes off, I'm like, are you fucking?
Marc:And then they're like, we don't got another one.
Marc:How could you not have another one?
Marc:You should have five of these.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I could go find some for you.
Marc:I'll buy you one.
Marc:I bought one.
Marc:See right there?
Marc:The only reason I bought that mic stand, just to know how much it cost and to have it there.
Marc:Because that thing cost me, and it's a regular straight mic stand.
Marc:I put the boom on there in case I have to mic a guitar.
Marc:But I just bought it to hold it and to say this was $30.
Marc:That's insane.
Marc:That's all it fucking takes to get the right kind of equipment.
Guest:Anyways.
Guest:The sound makes me, sound makes me, uh, New York, uh, comedy clubs, like, like the, uh, where you're just like, dude, just you're like the place is already like, it's, it sounds like you're talking through a boom box.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right.
Marc:It's a good room too.
Marc:No, it's a fine room.
Marc:And then there was a while there where the fucking top of the mic was off.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Like it was just like raw wires or something.
Guest:It is.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's fine.
Guest:Everybody's fine with it.
Guest:No one like, you don't, no one even kind of like is like, you know, we don't have a comedy union for that stuff.
Guest:We should.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:We should be like, we're going to go around and check everybody.
Marc:Those mics are $100.
Marc:They're $100 fucking dollars for a Shure 58.
Guest:Easy.
Guest:Fucking ridiculous.
Guest:And it ruins the show.
Guest:Like, you just go, it ruined my time.
Guest:It ruined their time.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it's just an easy fix.
Guest:And you're just like, no one even.
Guest:I don't know what to do.
Guest:I don't tell anybody.
Guest:No one else, I guess, tells anybody.
Guest:Nobody says anything to anybody.
Guest:We all just walk out furious.
Guest:we just call another comic and they go i don't know that's why you know what are you gonna do and we're having this conversation now and i haven't been in the new york comedy club in 12 years it hasn't even it's it's probably it's okay and that's what it does suck because that room is so good like there's a lot of good rooms like like eastville like i want to make sure i don't say anything bad about it because i think that guy did a great thing oh man because like you know he opened a club you know in that area yeah
Marc:and you know it's hard in new york for a guy just to go i'm gonna open a room and it's a fucking sweet room and you know they treat comics pretty well and it's an intimate and you can get work done in there but that sometimes like at the beginning maybe they fixed it the sound was bouncing around a little bit yeah yeah that was a good place to open one because i've seen i've seen so many people try to open different clubs but it's a real club like in its own way and and the thing that he was smart about it was like he just asked dudes who were making the rounds on weekends like big dudes
Marc:yeah people live over there too yeah just come by like Todd and Judah and everybody yeah just come by and you're like yeah alright great we don't care after a certain point it's like you spend your whole life trying to perform at the comedy cellar and then you're finally there and you're realizing like wow I'm not even getting that many spots here and she's gonna treat me like I'm still auditioning every time I go in there
Marc:The pressure.
Marc:She didn't put me on until I did an HBO special.
Guest:Eight years.
Guest:I don't get spots there, and I couldn't have done more.
Guest:And I let her know.
Guest:You do that in clubs, I'll be like, hey, I'm sorry, I'm working on this half-hour special.
Guest:I think it's supposed to be a big deal.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I don't really care.
Guest:Do you care if I run by?
Guest:And they're like, hey, I'll give you five.
Guest:You're like, oh, that's good.
Guest:I'll just practice my walking out on stage because that's what you're letting me do.
Marc:well they've got their own idea of what they're the that with the kind of comedy that you know i i i don't shit on yeah i like i have a respect for independently owned clubs i'd much rather you know after all is said and done i'd rather deal with a crazy club owner book than deal with the corporatized fucking well they're
Guest:all just yeah it's all just you're mad because i don't get in like i said like if one time if like tomorrow it's like hey you want spots i'm like you know what i owe everything to you guys like i'll just flip like that quick like i'm just you guys thank them in your oscar speech yeah you don't even understand like i couldn't have done it without you
Guest:You might have seen me.
Guest:I've been there five times, but those five really- Because you spend your whole life trying to crack that nut.
Marc:I could never get into Catch a Rising Star in New York back in the day.
Marc:Come fucking get in.
Marc:You can now if you want to.
Guest:No, no.
Marc:There's only one left.
Marc:Where is it?
Guest:Princeton?
Guest:There's Princeton.
Guest:There's one in Monticello.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:There's one in Reno.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:That's like seven days.
Yeah.
Guest:so who are your guys who do you hang out with metzger uh i i was like i always like he was like right above metzger and jay with the guys that but now like that i really like hang out with is like i mean i don't know if you'd like some dan soter joe list uh dustin is still hanging and then like out here like rory was just yeah he's great yeah sean padden yeah sean yeah yeah yeah like that was kind of like that's your generation uh yeah i would say so
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Sean, they came to New York after me.
Guest:I've been in New York for, it'll be eight years this year.
Guest:So I've been, I was around before like any, like now there's so many bar shows.
Guest:There wasn't that many.
Guest:You had to go.
Guest:That's why I went to the clubs.
Marc:Clubs, yeah, that's the way I started, yeah.
Guest:You had to go.
Guest:Like I was at the Boston and I saw everybody come through there.
Guest:So I was like, this is what you gotta do.
Marc:It is what you had to do.
Guest:That's what the clubs mean the most to me.
Guest:Now you don't have to go to the clubs.
Guest:I still think that that training's the best training.
Guest:I think it's the best training, but you don't have to like, to get on stage, you don't have to go.
Marc:Like,
Guest:No, no, no, I get that now, but I think that when you're starting out, to just be not in a supportive room, just to be in a cold fucking horrible... You need to be able to, like, if there's a fight that happens, like, just be able to, like, go pick the pieces up after... Like, no like-minded people.
Marc:No one's gonna, you know, they're not...
Marc:spending any disbelief they hate you yeah they uh and that's new york is so like that it's like you know they're not it's not like a warm room you're never walking into like after every one comic finishes you're back to fucking square one yeah and it's like oh god there's no momentum no nothing it's like as soon as like the last guy's done
Marc:This next guy.
Marc:All right, let's see what this is.
Guest:They do it in between jokes sometimes.
Guest:Oh, I know.
Guest:You're like, oh, God, people.
Marc:It's amazing.
Marc:Like the comic strip.
Marc:I've never seen, I think I told you, I've never seen more people not get a joke at the same time.
Marc:Where you're like, this has worked everywhere.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's the best in New York.
Guest:You're like, guys, I could walk you to other people that like this joke.
Guest:We could literally leave this building.
Guest:I just went downtown.
Guest:The show's still going.
Guest:Cabs for everybody, and I'm going to introduce you to some people that when you watched me walk up, they were like, this guy was great.
Guest:So why would that be?
Guest:We're within- A mile.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Two miles.
Guest:Nothing.
Guest:It's just different.
Guest:It's just like-
Marc:It's weird, man.
Guest:I think I did it normal.
Guest:Yeah, then you're like, did I miss a word?
Marc:Did I not set that up right?
Marc:Did I forget everything?
Marc:Did I tell it backwards?
Marc:Did I do it twice?
Guest:I started a joke twice once.
Guest:You did?
Guest:That's the bad thing about New York, because you go up.
Guest:Four times.
Guest:Yeah, and then you're just like, I don't even know.
Guest:I just start it, and I wait to see if there's going to laugh.
Guest:Do you see the confused look?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, that's... Yeah.
Guest:You're like, oh, these guys aren't going to get it.
Guest:I'll bring it to you, folks.
Guest:You just start hammering into them, the exact same joke.
Guest:They're just all confused.
Guest:They feel bad for you.
Guest:It's like maybe something's gone wrong.
Guest:Is he all right?
Guest:Why would he say that joke twice?
Guest:And they don't get it.
Guest:You're like, this is like the seventh time I perform.
Guest:You just say it like they get the comedy scene.
Guest:They don't know what that means.
Guest:They're like, there's seven other clubs?
Guest:Because the guy that I bought tickets from on the street told me that there's one, and this is where Seinfeld comes every day.
Guest:So I'm hoping he's next, but instead I got to see a guy tell the joke twice.
Guest:And then they leave disappointed, walking past pictures of people that performed there 25 years ago, going like, I know that guy.
Guest:He didn't come by.
Guest:Where was he?
Guest:I was told he was coming by.
Guest:He's been dead for eight years, ma'am.
Guest:It's Dennis Wolfberg.
Guest:He's not coming.
Guest:i remember them they would they would come by and like complain they're like dane cook is not coming by and this is like when you're like yeah he's doing like madison square guarding like i don't like did you but it's not a stretch it's not in straight i agree with you it's not a stretch but it just seen like it just us you're like what i've been surprised by people who drop by comedy clubs but not completely ever really but like it's always weird to see seinfeld in a small club you're like oh he's a real person he's my uh really favorite yeah that's interesting
Guest:Well, like, not, uh, it's changed, like, since I got into comedy.
Marc:I'm not judging, it's just like.
Guest:No, no, no, I'm fine with, like, uh, it was, he was like my guy, like, I watched Comedian, I watched all, I still watch Seinfeld, uh, and then Brian Regan was the first, Brian Regan was the first one that I didn't realize someone could be that funny and you just, the world doesn't know him.
Marc:How funny is that fucking guy?
Guest:I mean, it's like... He's insane.
Guest:So he was like... Then that moved to him.
Guest:It all changes, you know?
Marc:And then you go... Well, you start appreciating people for different reasons as you get older.
Guest:I'm a big burr.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Bill's great.
Guest:And I like burr because I kind of got to see his... I was at his HBO one night stand with him and Patrice.
Guest:I remember them coming to Boston and running it.
Guest:And then I saw, like, his letter.
Guest:So I got to see him where he was just, he was a big club guy, but he wasn't, like, he is now.
Guest:He didn't blossom into... And I watched him, like... The angry professional that he is now.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:That goes to now that he's, like, the comic.
Guest:Like, that's even, I mean, you, I remember, like, seeing you now, you're... That's what I liked about New York was I've got to see all you guys go from...
Guest:where like we we knew you were known you were the trench but you're doing spots you're probably as furious yeah as i like and stuff but then you're like all right i saw a their path kind of right and you're like oh this thing wow that's you know different stuff you don't know what it's going to be you don't and you don't know if it's gonna if you're gonna get another shot or like you know because there's so many guys like burr too where you get that first shot and it don't go
Marc:And some people buckle under that, but he just fucking... What's this?
Guest:I mean, all you guys... Kevin Hart?
Guest:Jesus.
Guest:Well, that was crazy.
Guest:You know what?
Guest:I didn't see... I never saw him in New York.
Guest:No?
Guest:He was there with Jay.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I came like... Him and Jay started together.
Guest:Yeah, him and Jay.
Guest:I came after... Mike Vecchione was another one that my buddies... But I was like a year after Mike, so probably like five years, six years after Jay when I got there.
Guest:so but those yeah they was like they popped off quick so you do both i have like i've done them like uh i don't try like i have a i won i won the i co-won the boston comedy festival and uh co-won it yeah the fuck is that
Guest:I don't know, this dude, me and this dude, Celine, won, or co-won.
Guest:All the prize is get a cruise agent, set your career back five years, basically.
Guest:That's your prize?
Guest:No, you win money, and then now I've got a cruise agent.
Guest:You're like, oh, now I've got this in my... You'd be better off not having that opportunity.
Guest:At least, yeah.
Guest:Because you make like three grand.
Guest:No, I know.
Marc:Now that you have one, you're like, I don't want to do a boat.
Guest:Yeah, it's like three grand.
Guest:Where do I go?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:i'm not doing carnival all right i draw the line i got and then that's all that i can get is car now they i don't uh i haven't done one i've done probably three or four and have they been good uh they're not terrible i mean they're like you know it's like playing it gets a bad rap but it's really just about it's like 500 it's about being clean like it's that idea when everybody's like you can't do what like what are you doing really that you can't
Guest:they let you do a dirty show you have to do the clean show is uh they have kids there that's terrible because it's just kids there you can't win yeah they sit in the front row and they're yeah and they're just not enjoying it and there's nothing right that they get and then but the dirty shows are uh i mean it's like 500 people so they do they actually have shows that you can cut loose on do whatever you want yeah and people do you see any pretty places
Guest:Actually, I'd only done Carnival, and we just went to Mexico, Key West.
Guest:So you would get out and go do it.
Guest:The bad part is the internet.
Guest:There's no internet.
Guest:You can't talk to anything.
Guest:You just feel like you're gone.
Guest:You're worried you're going to come back, and they're like, you know they had a show made for you, but they...
Guest:It was last week.
Guest:They couldn't get ahold of you because you're on a boat.
Guest:So, yeah, your one shot is gone.
Marc:Yeah, so you might want to book some more boats.
Guest:Yeah, is it three grand good, though?
Guest:Do you feel good about three grand?
Guest:Are you happy because you're on water for a while?
Guest:That's the one I did.
Guest:I think I told you one of them didn't go well.
Guest:Cause they've been to every show and they saw, they've seen all my material.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I had, I was doing like an hour and a half and I just had to tell, I was like, that's all I've got guys.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:And I just did, I was like, let's just see how far back we can get in crowd work.
Guest:The third show in or what?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Cause they, they came to the clean and the dirty and then the other dirty.
Guest:and i was going to that show and i'm saying you're like you're on an elevator in the ocean which feels like you've made like it just feels like you're like i'm in an elevator in the ocean if this is in a book and someone didn't know they'd be like whoa this guy's got money yeah and uh and then this guy starts just right before i'm going out the elevator it's just he's talking to a woman over me yeah and then says uh just was like man he goes that first guy because there's two comedy acts yeah he was like that first guy's unbelievable second guy's like
Guest:He's like half asleep or something.
Guest:Why would he even be on the boat?
Guest:And I have my hat on.
Guest:I'm just in between them, and I just have to accept what they're saying.
Guest:And then I just get off the elevator, and then I go to the show like, whatever, dude.
Guest:This show's going to be awesome.
Guest:First joke I do, see three people leave.
Guest:And then the second joke I do, just people are staring at me.
Guest:They're not even like, they don't even want to hear it again.
Guest:Even if they liked the joke, they weren't like, I liked it.
Guest:I would like to hear it at least one more time.
Guest:They were just mad.
Guest:And then I go, oh, have y'all seen everything?
Guest:And all 500 clapped.
Guest:It's like, we've seen all of it.
Guest:And I go, that's all.
Guest:I literally.
Guest:And what'd you do?
Guest:I go, I started talking to the crowd.
Guest:I said, let's just see.
Guest:And I was just going to see how far back I can get.
Guest:I'm not even a crowd work guy.
Guest:I don't like.
Guest:How'd it go?
Guest:uh it was like kind of fun i made fun of myself a lot like for doing it like a lot of jump off the boat jokes i don't even know why he's on the boat yeah i don't even know why why would he be here and then it's like i don't know i don't know man i bombed at my buddy's wedding uh the other day
Marc:What the hell happened?
Marc:I saw you tweet about that.
Marc:I'm the best man.
Marc:Right, okay, so you're the best man.
Guest:They wanted me to throw jokes in.
Guest:He goes, throw your jokes in.
Guest:I go, it's not going to go good.
Guest:I go, that's weird.
Guest:I was like, let me just tell some stories.
Guest:He's like, ah, just throw a couple of your wife jokes in.
Guest:I just do it.
Guest:And as it's going, there's one girl dying laughing.
Guest:Everybody else is kind of just sitting there.
Guest:And then the DJ, after, I'm in, I barely even finished the joke.
Guest:And he just goes, all right, this is the best man, Nate Bargette.
Guest:We're going to keep it moving.
Guest:Just cut me off.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I'm in the middle of the dance floor.
Guest:It's like a big dance floor.
Marc:He had you go out there for a toast or to do your act?
Guest:It's like a toast slash throw some jokes in.
Guest:I don't even know if everybody even knew I was a comedian.
Guest:So they're just kind of like, oh, this dude's like, that's weird.
Marc:He's just talking about his wife for no reason.
Guest:Oh, that's crazy.
Guest:His wife's not even here and she's pregnant.
Guest:I don't know why he would make jokes about it.
Guest:And then I just have to walk on the dance floor just with my head down.
Marc:It's like a corporate gig.
Marc:You ever do those?
Guest:uh i've never done that's what i need to get into if i if like these crew because corporate gigs pay like the bad they pay better than cruises do you ever try did you ever think about trying to you know align yourself with uh some of the more regional acts that have the accents like you
Marc:Just for shits and giggles?
Marc:I mean, as opposed to do a boat, like maybe get on Ron White's bus or some shit?
Guest:That would be unbelievable.
Guest:But no, I don't know.
Guest:I haven't tried.
Guest:I'm not, like the boat thing, I've literally done four and I'm not doing like...
Guest:I know, but once you've done cruises, you have to explain to people like 50 times.
Guest:We're going to be leaving here.
Guest:Comics.
Guest:Hey, for real, dude.
Guest:Like, I haven't done like, you know what?
Guest:Like, just the boat stuff.
Guest:Let's just, can you put, instead of boat, can I just say corporate?
Guest:And then you just plug corporate in there every time we go to a boat.
Guest:I get an email from you a week later.
Guest:It's like, you know, I don't have any real problems with what I said, but the boat shit, I just don't think.
Guest:You know, dude, that wasn't, I feel like you sandbagged me about the boat stuff.
Guest:I feel like...
Guest:What do you do?
Marc:You headline, then, on the road, mostly?
Guest:I'm starting, yeah, that's the thing now.
Guest:I'm recording, like, I'm doing Go Bananas.
Guest:I'm recording a CD there, my first one.
Marc:Oh, the people love that room.
Marc:That's a good room in Cincinnati.
Guest:That's right, yeah.
Guest:I'm worried about the old check spot on the CD, though.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Is that a thing?
Guest:Do you ever...
Marc:i don't know you know i did uh i did my first cd at stand-up new york for 60 people like two months after 9-11 that's good it was good it's you know it's a it's a like it's a time piece you know is it yeah is it uh people crying like the audience just bawling but it was intense because you know it that that shit didn't go away for a year or two that's impressive that's like something like
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Could that be the first recorded?
Marc:No, no, I don't think so.
Marc:I can't remember.
Marc:It was soon enough after where I could make jokes about politics, so it wasn't as heated, but I know it was still in the memory.
Marc:And I just had some kid record it, and the stand-up records reissued it.
Marc:But my second and third CDs, I did at the worst club in the country.
Marc:It's not even around anymore at Giggles in Seattle.
Marc:And that was a place where the guy who owned the place would sell the tickets, make the drinks, and serve the drinks, and then do 10 minutes.
Guest:Oh, that's horrific.
Marc:And he'd rip you off.
Marc:And it's no longer in business, but I don't know why I went back there twice, so I don't know from check spots.
Marc:The third one I did at...
Guest:I love it that it's the worst.
Guest:You did two.
Marc:No, it was ridiculous.
Guest:You've got, I've learned my lesson.
Guest:No, no.
Marc:It was like at the time I did the third one, which was a double CD.
Marc:I was in the middle of divorce.
Marc:I called my guy and I'm like, I don't know what's going to come out of me, but I got to do it.
Marc:I'll call Terry up at Giggles.
Marc:I'm sure he'll let me do it.
Guest:It was like that, you know what I mean?
Marc:But she's just meet me there with your shit, and we'll just see what happens.
Marc:We'll tape four and see what happens.
Marc:And sure enough, none of them were full.
Marc:Outside of my last CD, which I did in Brooklyn at Union Hall, the second and third, it was like two thirds full.
Guest:Oh, that's great.
Guest:So many people, if you start not in New York, LA, it's a race to get a CD.
Guest:I've seen guys.
Guest:I saw a guy.
Guest:There's guys I've seen who only have 10 minutes.
Marc:They're like, I'm doing my second hour.
Marc:I'm like, based on what?
Marc:Some guy in Atlanta is like, I'm doing my second CD.
Marc:I'm like, I don't even know who you are.
Guest:10 minutes is him selling his first CD on his second CD.
Guest:Hey folks, if you like me after the set, I got my first CD.
Guest:I'm going to have to, when people buy this CD, I'm like, just so if you want to buy a CD, there's one thing different.
Guest:And it was the guy that introduced me.
Guest:But it's going to be.
Marc:Is this your first one?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was great.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:All right, buddy.
Guest:Well, thanks for talking.
Guest:You feel good about it?
Guest:I feel good.
Guest:Did we already start?
Guest:No, I'm joking.
Guest:I like when people ask that.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:I'm going to get away.
Guest:I wanted to wait.
Guest:And like when people ask if you have cats, like when it's, like they're like, you have cats because I am dying.
Guest:Like literally I'm dying.
Marc:I had Ed Helms in here, and he literally was done.
Guest:Yeah, listen, yeah.
Guest:There's nothing I could do about it.
Guest:He had to get seriously.
Guest:I couldn't do anything about it, and I didn't want to, like, I needed the interview to be an hour, and this poor guy was wheezing, and people were emailing me.
Guest:It's like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Guest:I'm like, I'm not going to get him again.
Guest:How long does this interview keep going?
Guest:They get in that early to be like, you stopped it, right?
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:We had to keep going.
Guest:We did.
Guest:I mean, how often am I going to be able to get him over here?
Guest:He kept saying I'm okay, but you could audibly hear wheezing.
Guest:It's really affecting him.
Marc:And I don't even have cats in here.
Marc:That was my argument.
Marc:It's like, you're wrong.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Because there's no cats have ever been in here.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:They don't come in here.
Marc:So I don't know.
Marc:Tell your body to shut up.
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Thanks, Nate.
Marc:Hey, thanks.
Marc:Hilarious.
Marc:That guy's hilarious.
Marc:By his record, comes out September 18th.
Marc:Nate Bargetze, B-A-R-G-A-T-Z-E.
Marc:Cracks me up, man.
Marc:So happy to be cracked up.
Marc:That's our show.
Marc:Go to WTFPod.com for all your WTFPod needs.
Marc:Kick in a few shekels.
Marc:Get on that mailing list.
Marc:I'll send you a little something every week.
Marc:Get the app.
Marc:Upgrade to premium.
Marc:Check the episode guide.
Marc:Leave some comments.
Marc:New posters over in the merch department.
Marc:The Chicago posters by a cat named... What's his name?
Marc:Giuliani's his last name.
Marc:I love them.
Marc:That's why I made more of them.
Marc:So those are available for $15.
Marc:I'll sign them for you.
Marc:What else?
Marc:JustCoffee.coop.
Marc:Just finished a cup.
Marc:Magic Bag in Ferndale.
Marc:Right?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Michigan.
Michigan.
Marc:September 29th that's a Detroit area gig two shows Saturday and Riot LA on September 22nd and I don't know what's up with you we good okay boom he is here hey buddy what's up what's up give me one more huh huh
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