Episode 295 - JB Smoove
Guest:Are we doing this?
Guest:Really?
Guest:Wait for it.
Guest:Are we doing this?
Guest:Wait for it.
Guest:Pow!
Guest:What the fuck?
Guest:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?
Guest:What's wrong with me?
Guest:It's time for WTF?
Guest:What the fuck?
Guest:With Mark Maron.
Marc:Okay, let's do this, what the fuckers, what the fuck buddies, what the fuckineers, what the fucknicks, what the fucktuckians, what the fuckanucks.
Marc:Yeah, that's in honor of the fact that I'm going to be at the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival.
Marc:I'll be up there, Canada.
Marc:This is Mark Maron.
Marc:This is WTF.
Marc:Thank you for joining me.
Marc:Hope you had a lovely 4th of July and didn't blow any fingers off.
Marc:Hope you have all your digits and the rest of your family has all of their digits.
Marc:As you know, here in Highland Park, which is a primarily Latino neighborhood, the Fourth of July is a month long celebration.
Marc:So don't be taken aback or surprised if you hear some fireworks in the background, some firecrackers, some terrified animal noises, that kind of thing.
Marc:but first let me just say that jb smooth is on the show today uh that was a what a lovely man can i say that i can and also jb wanted me to tell you that uh you can follow him on facebook his twitter is oh snap jb smooth and he also has a website the ruckus.com if you want to uh
Marc:get more involved or interact with or enjoy more of the magic that is J.B.
Marc:Smoove.
Marc:There's that.
Marc:I'm going to be hosting Attack of the Show on G4 this week.
Marc:Three shows this week.
Marc:I think it's Monday and Tuesday, maybe Friday.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I'm going to have to get up to speed.
Marc:It's old guy week on Attack of the Show.
Marc:I just want to see how I look on television, folks.
Marc:I want to see how I handle that environment.
Marc:So it's live.
Marc:So who knows what can happen?
Marc:So you might want to tune in to see that.
Marc:It's either going to be fun or it's going to be a travesty or, you know, I'm going to do okay.
Marc:So that's happening.
Marc:Attack of the show.
Marc:What does it all mean, man?
Marc:When was the last time you asked that question?
Marc:Having a little post-vacation...
Marc:Stress disorder, readjusting, doing laundry.
Marc:There's some problem with the cats.
Marc:This one cat, the stray cat.
Marc:I've told you about him before.
Marc:He's a scrapper.
Marc:He's a tough guy.
Marc:I wanted to give my cat some medicine.
Marc:So I had to give him wet food and the stray cat was hanging around.
Marc:So we got a hit of the wet food.
Marc:Now I can't get rid of him.
Marc:Now he's making a play for the whole turf.
Marc:My poor fucking Boomer is petrified.
Marc:I don't know why, but Boomer is a big dude, you know, and he's a fucking pussy.
Marc:Every time defers to whatever cat wants to eat his food or take his bed.
Marc:I just don't get it.
Marc:I feel like a father of a slightly, like a jock father with a slightly effeminate male child who I'm concerned about and would like to see kick a little ass.
Marc:Is that in any way inappropriate?
Marc:I'm just sort of like, Boomer, just take care of shit, man.
Marc:I also wanted to mention I'll be at Zaney's in Nashville, Tennessee, July 21st and 22nd.
Marc:The music on today's show is by Tony Fry.
Marc:The songs are off his new album, Ravenswood.
Marc:You can go to Tony Fry, F-R-Y-E dot bandcamp.com to hear more of that.
Marc:Am I doing the right thing, man?
Marc:I watched a documentary on TV the other night, half a documentary.
Marc:I don't you know, we had a TiVo disaster here at the house.
Marc:All of the stuff that Jessica TiVo got erased by the house sitter by accident.
Marc:And that, you know, that was it was it was if things were lost.
Marc:It was if things that could never be found again were lost.
Marc:It was tragic, but we got through it.
Marc:I convinced her that much of the stuff was replaceable and retivoable.
Marc:But man, sometimes the tension rises.
Marc:The drama over stuff is profound.
Marc:But I watched this documentary about a performance artist and
Marc:some woman named Marina Abramovich, I don't know how to pronounce her name, and I didn't know who she was, but she's apparently a very important performance artist.
Marc:And I was watching this documentary about some of the work that she did when she was younger with this other dude where they would do these naked performances and they'd slap each other around in silence in front of people.
Marc:I have neighbors like that.
Marc:I'm not sure I'm that far away from that.
Marc:If it was just two naked people yelling at each other, I could relate to it.
Marc:But on a deeper level, it's got to mean something.
Marc:This stuff is so easy to parody on some level.
Marc:Watching a documentary about the stuff that this woman did, if it was just tweaked a little differently, it could have been a joke.
Marc:But this is a real thing.
Marc:This is a real thing.
Marc:These are real artists that I had this weird realization that everything is so insulated.
Marc:You know, comedy is insulated.
Marc:Comedy is mainstream.
Marc:But this is a certain group of people that dig comedy, that dig comics and performance art has its people that dig performance art.
Marc:So it's credible as validity.
Marc:It's poetic.
Marc:It's got aesthetic value.
Marc:It's powerful stuff.
Marc:But we condescend to it.
Marc:I don't know why.
Marc:I don't know when I closed my heart to that shit.
Marc:I mean, at some point in time, I thought I was some sort of renegade artist sculptor.
Marc:Yeah, I talked to Jack White.
Marc:He seemed to be in his garage putting things together at some point in his life.
Marc:The artistic journey is peculiar.
Marc:Sometimes I think comedy was some sort of default for me.
Marc:I mean, there was a time where I was taking photographs.
Marc:I told you about that.
Marc:There was a time where I bought used televisions and broke them with hammers.
Marc:There was a time when I was in college where I had a television with a cracked, broken screen with a hole in it.
Marc:I had a full sized bust of John F. Kennedy's head that I got at a flea market.
Marc:I had an old Brownie McGee.
Marc:So what I did was I had the broken television.
Marc:I had the bust of Kennedy.
Marc:I lopped the nose off of it with a hammer to make it look like an ancient Greek sculpture.
Marc:I spray paint it all red.
Marc:I spray painted the TV all white.
Marc:I spray painted the Brownie McGee camera all blue.
Marc:And I set the bust and the camera on top of the busted TV, red, white, and blue.
Marc:And I set it in my apartment.
Marc:And I thought to myself, I don't know if I'm going to do better than this.
Marc:I think that I've hit a certain level with this piece, though I was an individual artist.
Marc:I wasn't a sculptor of any kind, but I did that in my spare time.
Marc:So that was that.
Marc:And this woman and the guy she worked with outside of performing naked and sitting across from each other and just letting things happen in silence in front of people.
Marc:When their relationship got taxed, was too much.
Marc:They had run the gamut.
Marc:They were both performance artists.
Marc:They knew they were going to separate.
Marc:They were going to part ways.
Marc:So they did a performance art piece that involved...
Marc:The two of them at opposite ends of the Great Wall of China, walking the entire length of it towards each other to where they met in the middle of the Great Wall of China.
Marc:This took weeks.
Marc:Who knows how long this takes?
Marc:Specifically when they met to break apart, to break up, to discontinue the relationship.
Marc:That's a lot of fucking commitment.
Marc:It's profound.
Marc:It's moving.
Marc:It's deep.
Marc:But how do you know when you can how do you know when you do something like that, that it's art or you're just some idiot?
Marc:I mean, that's the biggest trick about art.
Marc:When do you get validated?
Marc:Someone decided at some point that she was doing credible work and that he was doing credible work and she had a history of credible work within this environment of performance art.
Marc:I had no idea who she was, but she's an important person.
Marc:I mean, they did this documentary about this final piece.
Marc:She did not a final piece.
Marc:The artist is present where she sat at the Museum of Modern Art at a retrospective of her own work is as much as you could do that with somebody who did live performance.
Marc:And she sat in a chair at a table across from another chair for three months in silence as people who came to see the exhibit or came to see her would sit across from her in silence for for a certain amount of time.
Marc:And she would be present.
Marc:for those people to project or experience her in that moment, however they will.
Marc:Some people cried, some people laughed, some people... For months, she did this for three months all day long.
Marc:It's valid.
Marc:It has to be valid.
Marc:It's easy to condescend and to mock it, but Jesus, it's valid.
Marc:I remember a guy that I read about years ago, performance artist.
Marc:I don't know if I'm making it up.
Marc:I don't know if my brain is just making this up.
Marc:But I believe I read an article about a performance artist who went to Mexico, paid to have sex with a prostitute.
Marc:No, no, that's wrong.
Marc:He paid to have sex with a corpse and then immediately afterwards had a vasectomy.
Marc:And that was his piece.
Marc:That was his piece of art.
Marc:I guess the real fear of that kind of stuff is it really depends on how largely you want to be known and what you want to be known for.
Marc:Is anyone talking about that guy?
Marc:Is anyone in comics?
Marc:Do these performance artists sit around and go, hey, whatever happened to that guy that fucked a dead person and then cut his balls off?
Marc:That was a hell of a bit.
Marc:Where do you go from that bit?
Marc:What happened to that guy?
Marc:Worse yet, who cares about that guy?
Marc:But he did it.
Marc:I remembered it.
Marc:What does it mean?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:But do they talk about that?
Marc:Hey, what about that guy that used to hang himself?
Marc:You know, he used to put a pulley up that was attached to his scrotum and then lift himself up and then wrap the thing around his neck and he'd swing there while a dwarf cut him with a razor lightly over the nipples.
Marc:What happened to that guy?
Marc:Because that was a hell of an act.
Marc:Do they talk like that?
Marc:Performance artists?
Marc:I love that shtick.
Marc:That guy who hit himself in the head with the hammer over and over again.
Marc:Is that guy still around?
Marc:That guy had something.
Marc:See, now I'm making fun of it.
Marc:Whatever.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:All right.
Marc:I'm going to do a quick performance piece here.
Marc:Actually, this performance piece is going to go on for a while.
Marc:This performance piece is going to go on for as long as the lives of the people involved in it.
Marc:It's called Hey Boomer.
Guest:Hey, Boomer.
Guest:Boomer, come in here.
Guest:Boo me.
Guest:Boo me.
Marc:I'm just happy to know that you have someone named Caesar in your life.
Guest:You got to have somebody named Caesar in your life.
Marc:Yeah, you need a Caesar.
Marc:You need a Caesar.
Marc:Is he taking care of everything?
Guest:You got to stay on top of Caesar.
Guest:But Caesar does a good damn job.
Guest:You want to stay on top of him.
Guest:If you don't have a Caesar in your life, what else is there?
Marc:Yeah, how are you going to manage?
Guest:At least one.
Marc:At least one Caesar.
Marc:How are you going to manage in Los Angeles without a Caesar?
Guest:You got to have a Caesar.
Marc:What does Caesar do for you?
Guest:Cesar does everything.
Guest:He fixes, he's amazing with his hands.
Guest:Some people are amazing with their damn hands.
Guest:Not you?
Guest:Not me.
Guest:No, I'm good with my hands, but there's certain things I know I can't do and certain things I just stay away from.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:How'd you learn?
Guest:I don't have time.
Guest:Here's what it is.
Guest:I don't have time to use my hands as much as I want to use my damn hands.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:We all handy with our hands.
Guest:It depends what you're handy with.
Guest:Some people are good at fiddling.
Guest:Fiddling with shit.
Guest:You know what fiddling is?
Marc:But yeah, you got a piece of machinery.
Marc:Let me just fiddle with this for a little while.
Guest:People always say that.
Guest:People always say fiddle with something, right?
Guest:But do they really mean fiddling?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:No, they don't.
Marc:They know exactly what they're doing.
Guest:They know exactly what they're doing.
Marc:Because if you're not a professional fiddler, you're going to have a mess of pieces and you're going to have to have a fiddler put it back together.
Guest:Most of the time when you're fiddling with stuff, right?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You hear what they're doing?
Guest:What you're supposed to do with it?
Guest:Nope.
Guest:It's intended for something.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:But you're sitting there fiddling around with it.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:Breaking it more.
Guest:You open the hood.
Guest:You're trying to rebuild a car, an engine, an engine, or an alternator, or something like that.
Guest:People always want to rebuild things that are already damn built.
Marc:And they think they're going to, if I just pay attention to how I take this apart, I can put it back together.
Marc:Of course you can.
Guest:No.
Guest:No.
Marc:Some people can.
Guest:No, you can do it, but you got to separate fiddling around with it from fixing it.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Right?
Guest:It's just two different worlds there.
Marc:That's right.
Guest:You can fiddle with it.
Marc:Or you can fix it.
Marc:You can fix it.
Marc:Most people who fiddle end up having to bring it in to be fixed professionally.
Guest:And when they throw that word out there, you know they ain't doing it.
Guest:Just playing around with it.
Guest:The past time.
Marc:Let me fiddle with it.
Marc:No, let me bring it to a professional.
Guest:Like, okay, you got a Rubik's Cube, right?
Guest:Remember that toy?
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Some people can do it.
Guest:Some people can't do it.
Guest:Some people can really do it and get all the sides.
Guest:Some people get one side.
Guest:That's called fiddling around with it.
Guest:You're going to get one damn side.
Guest:You're fiddling around with it too damn much.
Marc:You know the sequence.
Guest:You haven't tried to master it.
Marc:Obviously, J.B.
Marc:Smoove is in my garage.
Guest:You haven't tried to master it.
Guest:When you try to master something,
Guest:It's a Rubik's Cube.
Marc:That's right.
Guest:The object is to get all the damn sides.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Why don't you fiddle around with it and get one side?
Marc:That's right.
Guest:You're sitting there all day fiddling around with it.
Marc:Got one side.
Marc:I think if you get one side, though, they're all going to fall in line, though.
Marc:If you got one side, they should all be done.
Guest:I've gotten one side a thousand times and never have I even been close to the other side.
Guest:Now, no, here's what happens.
Guest:You get one damn side.
Guest:Now you're trying to get the other sides, right?
Guest:But you're messing up a side you already got done already.
Guest:Right now, you don't got the yellow mixed in the orange.
Guest:You had the whole orange side done.
Guest:But now you're fiddling around with it, trying to get other colors, but you got to turn it.
Guest:But now you're messing up the orange that you just got.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:Sometimes in life, you can only get one side.
Guest:It's six sides on a damn cube, right?
Guest:Right.
Guest:Now you got to try to get all six at the same goddamn time.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:You got to use plus your brain you ain't never used before.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:They say the left side of the brain?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:The left side of the brain.
Guest:Is that the one that does the math?
Guest:Whatever it is, the left or the right, it's a part of our brain we haven't even used yet.
Guest:No.
Guest:You got to be able to tap into that part of your brain to get all them damn sides.
Marc:I'm not even trying to go back there.
Marc:Are you?
Guest:A lot of people can't do it.
Guest:A lot of people can't do it.
Guest:Some people lose their rhythm.
Guest:It's a rhythm to certain things, right?
Marc:Yeah, especially those guys.
Guest:I'll tell you what.
Guest:There's nothing.
Guest:Making love to a goddamn lady, right?
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Trying to please her ass and please yourself at the same damn time.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:That ain't nothing but a Rupert's Cube.
Marc:That is.
Guest:That's all six sides.
Marc:That's all six sides.
Marc:If you make it happen at the same time, you're all six.
Guest:Add all the parts up.
Guest:Add everybody parts up.
Guest:Add all them goddamn parts up, right?
Guest:A lot of times you just got to be happy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:A lady got zones.
Guest:Yeah, that's right.
Guest:A lady got zones.
Guest:A couple zones.
Guest:Six damn zones to a lady.
Guest:Is there six zones?
Guest:A lady is a Rubens damn Q. That's right.
Guest:Of course it is.
Guest:Just keep fiddling.
Guest:You keep fiddling around with a lady.
Guest:Then you'll find out what turns her on.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:If you don't fiddle, see how things connect?
Guest:Yeah, sure.
Guest:Fiddle with a lady.
Guest:Fiddle around with her for a little while until you find out what's good for her.
Guest:You already know what's good for her.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:You give her that.
Guest:Now, ladies get possessive.
Guest:Ladies got little nooks and crannies you got to keep playing around with.
Marc:That's right.
Guest:Because ladies got nooks and crannies that you want to fiddle around with.
Marc:Or else they'll surprise you with the like, here's the whole thing you never fiddle with.
Marc:Why is that?
Guest:Why is that?
Marc:Because you can tell me.
Guest:Or you can fiddle around your damn stuff and find it for yourself.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:But you know when you find it, though.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:And you're not going to have Caesar fiddle with your lady.
Guest:You don't want Caesar fiddling with nothing that he's good at fiddling around with.
Guest:Not your lady.
Guest:But you don't want Caesar.
Guest:I'll tell you one thing.
Guest:You don't want this guy named Caesar fiddling around with stuff.
Guest:You want Caesar to fix stuff.
Marc:That's right.
Guest:Right?
Guest:If he's fiddling around, you're wasting damn money.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:He's up there putting drywall up, fiddling around with it.
Guest:Learning how to do it for the next guy.
Guest:Come on, man.
Guest:Yeah, no good.
Guest:This ain't on-the-job training.
Guest:Mm-mm.
Guest:Caesars don't have time to be learning on-the-job training.
Marc:At some point, Caesar was on-the-job training.
Marc:At some point, he was.
Marc:But I'll tell you what, those people are getting a better price than you.
Marc:You're damn right.
Guest:They're gambling, though.
Guest:They're gambling.
Marc:Because he's fiddling.
Guest:He's fiddling around with stuff.
Marc:Yeah, you don't know.
Guest:Fix it.
Guest:The first damn time.
Guest:Don't be fiddling around on my money.
Marc:That's right.
Guest:Don't ever let anybody fiddle around on your damn money.
Marc:Unless you're going to say, like, that looks like you fiddled.
Marc:I'm not going to pay you all the money you want.
Guest:You can look at somebody dead in the face and tell they're a fucking fiddler.
Marc:That's right.
Guest:Look at this dude.
Guest:I can look at him and tell him.
Guest:fiddler.
Guest:Yeah, that's right.
Guest:If I interview certain people who come into my damn house and look at and give me an estimate, right?
Guest:See, when you get an estimate for somebody, right, you bring somebody over, I need an estimate.
Guest:People always say free estimates.
Guest:You know why?
Guest:Because it's up to you to get their ass over there and you got to look them in the eyes and tell if they're a goddamn fiddler
Guest:or a damn worker.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:Am I right or wrong?
Guest:Yeah, a fiddler or a fixer.
Guest:You don't want a fiddler or a fixer.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:You don't want nobody who fiddles too damn much.
Guest:Nope, nope.
Guest:You're not paying for on-the-job training.
Guest:You get down to the nitty-gritty and you fix this shit.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:You don't come in here fiddling around on my damn money.
Guest:I got to write you a check and I know I got to write a check and give it to you knowing damn well you fiddled your ass through this week.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:Yeah, and you write that right in the reason for the check, fiddling.
Guest:Why do people get fired on their jobs?
Guest:Because somehow the boss noticed your ass is sitting around 40 hours a week fiddling around with shit.
Marc:Yeah, or perhaps worse than fiddling, just doing nothing.
Guest:Doing nothing, which is what fiddling really is.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You ain't doing nothing but playing around with shit.
Marc:Fiddling on someone else's time.
Guest:You're damn right.
Marc:That's the worst.
Guest:You don't fiddle around on nobody's time.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:Your ass get fired.
Guest:If you're going to fiddle around.
Marc:Yeah, if you're going to fiddle, it's got to be on your own time.
Guest:Now, then again, some ladies like to be fiddled around with you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Some ladies like that kind of stuff.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:But eventually, you're going to have to fix it.
Guest:All little moving parts.
Guest:Ladies got moving parts.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Guest:All lady parts are inside.
Guest:Yeah, it's complicated.
Guest:I tell people all the time.
Guest:Sometimes, right, ladies, you know, before you, I might use the word, fuck a lady.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Fuck a lady.
Guest:Sometimes you got to fuck a brain first.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You got to tear that brain ass.
Marc:That's some pimp shit you're talking about.
Guest:Oh, you got to fuck the brain.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You got to tap that brain first.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:You tap the damn brain.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Then you tap the outside.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:See, because ladies got nooks and crannies and ladies got too many moving parts.
Marc:And if you tap the brain correctly, it's going to be a little easier to fiddle with the rest.
Guest:You got to tap the brain first.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:A lady got to know what you're getting.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You got to know what the hell.
Guest:It's kind of like.
Marc:Sometimes.
Guest:You both got to know what the hell you're getting.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:A lady got to know who you are.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Once a lady knows you care.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:It don't matter what else is wrong with you.
Marc:But a lot of times we know that after a certain amount of time, they're like, well, that was all bullshit.
Guest:Why do you think a lady deal with a dude who snores for 30 fucking years?
Guest:Because she love that damn man.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Guest:And she know that man love her.
Guest:And she used to.
Guest:She can deal with putting napkins in his fucking mouth in the middle of the night and taking them out in the morning so he don't know that she snores.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But look.
Guest:You put napkins in their mouth and in the morning, see now you on a damn schedule because now you got to wait until they go to sleep, they start snoring, you put napkins in their fucking mouth to stop the fucking snoring.
Guest:Then in the morning, you got to wake your ass up early in the morning before they get up and take the napkin out their damn mouth so they don't know that in the middle of the night you're putting napkins in their damn mouth.
Marc:Yeah, and hopefully they don't choke and you don't wake up dead.
Guest:Hopefully they don't choke.
Guest:But you know what?
Guest:You put napkins, you could put toilet tissue, tape over their mouth, a whole dirty rag, or whatever it may be.
Guest:You put it in their damn mouth.
Guest:A sock.
Guest:Socks work pretty good.
Guest:You could roll a sock up.
Guest:But the booty socks, the little booty socks.
Guest:Sure, the half socks.
Guest:The ankle socks, not the full socks.
Guest:You don't want to put a full damn sock in somebody's mouth.
Marc:You'll kill them.
Marc:Ankle socks, it says right on the label when you buy them.
Marc:It's like for tennis shoes or people who snore.
Guest:It's right up there.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:It says... Common.
Guest:Very common.
Guest:The knee-high socks.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Those are made just for socks.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Or jagging off into.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But never, never made for putting in somebody's mouth.
Guest:No, the ankle socks.
Guest:They're too big.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:The ankle socks, of course.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:And you don't... See how they work?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you don't want to jag off in an ankle sock because...
Marc:It ain't big enough.
Marc:It's not big enough.
Guest:Unless you got a small Johnson.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Right?
Marc:Well, I mean, I think my Johnson can fit in an ankle sock.
Guest:If your Johnson can't fit in an ankle sock, you ain't got shit between your legs.
Marc:That's what I'm saying.
Marc:Well, I don't know if that's true.
Marc:I mean, I think that, yeah, how much do you need to cover just to manage jerking off?
Guest:But the ankle sock, you still got to feel good about what your Johnson's going into, right?
Marc:You want a nice athletic sock.
Guest:You want a full, if you can get a full sock now, it depends what kind of style, what your style is.
Marc:When was the last time I saw you?
Marc:New York.
Marc:New York.
Marc:Isn't that weird?
Guest:Years ago.
Marc:Right, the last time I saw you, you're wearing a hat, you're in New York City.
Marc:Kicking it.
Marc:Yeah, and you've probably just done a Louis C.K.
Marc:movie.
Marc:I didn't know you from stand-up.
Marc:The first time I saw you was Louis C.K.
Marc:'s movie.
Marc:You're damn right.
Marc:Which movie was that?
Guest:and you didn't do another one with him you didn't do an earlier one oh I did I did tomorrow night right right tomorrow night was first in black and white right that's the one I remember see how things work yeah you get a black person to do a black and white movie yeah it makes sense on paper it makes sense but you've been doing this a long time you're like at my age I'm your age brother about I'm 48 you're 48 yeah
Guest:I'm 46, baby.
Guest:46.
Guest:Make it happen.
Guest:But where did you start out?
Guest:Man, I started out at NYC.
Guest:NYC just doing stand-up, man.
Guest:Where'd you come from, though?
Guest:I came from the sea.
Guest:We had two different worlds going on.
Guest:You gotta realize how New York worked, right?
Guest:You had certain comics.
Guest:You had the white comics.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You had the famous white comics.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You had the not-so-famous white comics.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You had the early years of the white comics that no one really knew.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You had the black comics.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You had the Def Comedy Jam comics.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:You had the BET comics.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They're different.
Guest:They're all different.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Then you had the comics that, the black, the black white comics.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know what I'm talking about?
Guest:Sure.
Guest:They're black, but they're white.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:There's such thing as black-white.
Guest:You do know that, right?
Guest:I definitely do.
Guest:You are threatened by the black-white comic because the black-white comic hangs around the white people all the time.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:He's a black-white comic.
Guest:That's the Wally Collins comic.
Guest:The Wally Collins.
Guest:There's some of these guys, right?
Guest:You know what I'm talking about.
Guest:There's the black-white comics.
Guest:There's a comic you're not afraid to walk around Harlem with.
Guest:Well, let me ask you a question.
Guest:You feel like we're going to kick somebody's ass if some shit go around.
Guest:Yeah, we're okay.
Marc:Well, no, what would happen is he'll get much blacker.
Guest:He would have to put his black on and then he would have to leave you at some point because when shit go down, you gotta be black.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:It's kind of like, you see those glasses called transitions?
Guest:Sure, yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Marc:Transition black people.
Guest:You need to be able to transition yourself and turn black and darker.
Guest:When it get dark outside, your ass get darker.
Guest:You know what I'm saying?
Guest:Like them damn glasses, transition glasses.
Guest:You walk around, when it get your damn glasses, adjust to your environment.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:Am I right or wrong?
Guest:You're right.
Guest:So we had all these different kind of comics, right?
Guest:Then we had a whole other category of comics, the eccentric comics.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:You know those guys.
Guest:Screwballs.
Guest:They're really eccentric.
Guest:I was in New York.
Guest:You know what it is I'm talking about.
Marc:I can name each one that you're talking about.
Guest:Any comic I throw out there, any type or style of comic I throw out there, you got it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The eccentric comics.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know what I'm talking about.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:There's a whole range of comics out there.
Guest:There's people you never knew did stand up until you see them do damn stand up.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:Am I right or wrong?
Marc:Right.
Marc:And then there's those people you see, they say he used to be a stand up.
Marc:And you're like, no way.
Guest:No way.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I'm telling you, I walked down the street with a bunch of black comics, right?
Guest:And we're walking down.
Guest:B.E.T.
Guest:Black or Black?
Guest:The Def Comedy Jam.
Guest:The Def Comedy Jam black comics, right?
Guest:Walking down the street, right?
Guest:Meanwhile, we're walking down Broadway, right?
Guest:Meanwhile, coming up Chamber Street in Lower Manhattan.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:There's another group of comics, the eccentric comics, are walking down Chamber, right?
Guest:And you know Chamber Street crosses Broadway at some point, right?
Guest:And they're walking from their show, and we're walking from our show, and we meet at the corner.
Guest:Bam!
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:What the fuck is up?
Guest:Now we all know each other, but they had a whole different show tonight and we had a whole different show.
Guest:Here's a trick.
Guest:The Def Comedy Jam comics couldn't do the show that they just came from and these eccentric comics couldn't do the show that we just came from.
Guest:See what I mean?
Marc:Yeah, why is that?
Guest:I don't fucking know.
Guest:You would think funny is funny, but funny is not always funny.
Guest:It depends where the hell you at.
Guest:People always say, it ain't where you're from, it's where the hell your ass is at.
Marc:So did you start in mostly the black rooms?
Guest:I started in the black rooms.
Guest:But here's the difference between me and what I did.
Guest:How I jumped myself out.
Guest:I performed in black rooms.
Guest:I performed in white rooms.
Guest:I did some of the early stuff, man.
Guest:You know what?
Guest:I was on MTV's first pilot, like Apartment 2F with the Scar Brothers.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was on Comedy Central's Inception, man.
Guest:I was on a show called Short Attention Spam Theater.
Guest:I hosted that show.
Guest:Remember that joint?
Guest:I was on that.
Marc:I hosted the last one.
Yeah.
Guest:You're damn right, man.
Guest:See, I decided I was going to make my resume diverse.
Guest:I was going to have a bunch of different things going on.
Guest:I did Def Comedy Jam twice, but I didn't do it four, five, six, seven times.
Guest:There's people out there who've done it a thousand times.
Guest:There's folks out there who did BET a hundred times.
Guest:I did BET twice.
Marc:Just twice, the stand-up show.
Marc:Twice, man.
Guest:You know what I'm saying?
Guest:I wanted my resume to look good later on.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:It's kind of like this.
Guest:You work in a fast food restaurant, right?
Guest:Sure.
Guest:You're making burgers all the fucking time, right?
Marc:All the time.
Guest:But all you do is keep getting job after job after job.
Guest:Making burgers.
Guest:Making goddamn burgers.
Guest:Who want to make that whole resume just goddamn burgers?
Marc:You better be really good at it.
Guest:You better change them burgers up.
Guest:At least make some vegetarian burgers or some buffalo chicken burgers or something.
Guest:You better change it up.
Guest:Change it up.
Guest:If you're going to keep doing the same damn burgers, make them damn burgers different.
Marc:Absolutely.
Guest:Chipotle or burger.
Guest:Just have different names for your burger.
Guest:If you're going to make burgers the rest of your life, at least advance in your burger skills and go from fast food burgers to slow food burgers.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Gourmet burgers.
Guest:Mix it up.
Guest:Mix it up a little bit.
Guest:Don't keep doing those same goddamn burgers over again.
Guest:See, I didn't keep doing the same damn burgers.
Guest:You have a style, though.
Guest:You have a very specific style.
Guest:You gotta have a specific style, and you stick to your damn style, but you make your resume, you make it buried.
Marc:So you don't get pigeonholed.
Guest:Don't get pigeonholed and stuck.
Guest:And also, it prepares you for some other shit you want to do.
Guest:You have no idea what route or where this shit gonna take your ass at.
Marc:You don't, do you?
Guest:You don't know, right?
Guest:Were you surprised?
Guest:I'll throw this shit out right now.
Marc:I'll take it.
Marc:I'll take it.
Guest:you go into the forest.
Guest:Some people wanna go into the forest, they wanna make sure they can get their ass out of the forest if they ever happen to go in the fucking forest.
Guest:You start one place, some people drop popcorn and shit like that.
Marc:Make a trail.
Guest:Make a little trail, a little path to follow.
Marc:Hope an animal doesn't eat it.
Guest:Pray to God no animal eats all your fucking popcorn.
Guest:You're asking him to find your way out of that fucking forest.
Guest:That's one way.
Guest:Or croutons.
Guest:Whatever tickles your fancy.
Guest:It could be popcorn.
Guest:It could be croutons or whatever it is.
Guest:Smart guy would probably do something not edible.
Guest:Somebody would do something like pennies.
Guest:Some people got a whole lot of pennies.
Guest:I know I got a whole lot of pennies saved up.
Guest:Just for that reason.
Guest:Who has time to wrap those pennies?
Guest:No one.
Guest:No one has time for that.
Marc:Go dump it in the Coinstar machine.
Guest:Let's just say you put a whole handful of pennies.
Guest:pennies in your pocket and just keep dropping pennies as you go along.
Guest:Bear can't use pennies.
Guest:Here's two ways to look at that.
Guest:You can drop pennies to see how to get your ass out.
Guest:Or you can drop them pennies to see where the hell you've been.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Because that path, even though you're dropping pennies, you're meeting people along the way.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You're having experiences along the way.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Right.
Guest:These are all things that are going to make you who the hell you are and who you're going to be when you get to be our damn age.
Marc:That's right.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So you can look back and say, like, I see exactly how I got here.
Marc:Thank God I didn't do that.
Marc:And it was good that I was there.
Guest:Right.
Guest:It's only a way back.
Guest:Right.
Guest:When you find your way out of that damn forest, that forest can be good.
Guest:You can be stuck in that damn forest and love it to death.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:Or you could say, I'm gonna get the fuck out of this forest before somebody kill me.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Right.
Guest:You might want to get out of that damn forest.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Now you want to walk back through that damn forest, but now you were smart.
Guest:Your ass was real smart.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You didn't drop nothing that was edible, right?
Guest:Right.
Guest:You dropped some goddamn pennies.
Right.
Guest:eat a penny.
Guest:Nobody eats pennies except little tiny little toddlers and they eat a penny by mistake.
Guest:They take their little ass to the fucking emergency room because they got a penny in their fucking stomach.
Guest:Put them on an x-ray machine and you look in their stomach and say they got a whole belly full of the damn change and you got no idea these damn babies were eating on your damn change.
Marc:That's right and there's no reason for a baby to be in the forest by itself.
Marc:There's no reason for it.
Guest:Why was the baby in the forest with a belly full of damn pennies?
Guest:Am I right or wrong?
Marc:That's a very good question.
Guest:So now, on your way back, you're picking them damn pennies up, right?
Guest:Along the way, you're meeting everybody that your ass met on the way into the damn forest.
Guest:Good memories, right?
Guest:Some of them.
Guest:You almost, some good memories, some bad memories.
Guest:But you want to know where the hell you've been at.
Marc:That's right.
Guest:When you walk back that path, people say, oh, wow, he made it to the forest.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And he's got a handful of lucky pennies.
Guest:Everybody can't go to the damn forest.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Everybody can't go to the forest.
Guest:That forest could be, it could be Oz in that damn forest.
Guest:You don't know.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It could be beautiful.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Wonderful world.
Marc:Some people are afraid of the forest.
Marc:People don't want to go in the forest.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:You got it.
Marc:It's dark in the forest sometimes.
Guest:But sometimes the forest is so dark.
Guest:But in the daytime, little rays of light shine through the trees and shit.
Guest:And you're like, oh, that's fucking beautiful.
Marc:Yeah, I'm glad I'm here.
Guest:You can sit your ass down, right?
Guest:And you'll pitch a tent.
Guest:I'm going to stay here for a little while.
Guest:I'm going to enjoy this forest shit for a little while.
Guest:Because out there, that was a crazy road.
Guest:It's a crazy road out there.
Guest:But you might have to go back.
Guest:So my whole thing is,
Guest:No matter what the hell you do, I don't give a damn what you do.
Guest:You want to advance slowly but surely and have that patience to expand.
Marc:When you started doing stand-up in New York, did you grow up in New York?
Guest:I was born in North Carolina.
Guest:I came to New York at three, and I've been in New York since I was three years old.
Guest:I just went to college, came back, started doing- What did you study in college?
Guest:Graphic design.
Guest:Engineering and drafting and drafting.
Marc:I had two majors.
Marc:You were like, fuck that, though.
Guest:You know what?
Guest:I liked it.
Guest:I still have that artistic kind of flair to everything I do.
Guest:I can do my own business cards.
Guest:I can do my own website.
Guest:I'm good like that.
Guest:You do your own business cards?
Guest:I got an eye for that shit.
Marc:Did you do business cards?
Guest:I have done them before.
Guest:I have done them before.
Guest:When you got to do something, ain't no fucking fiddling around.
Guest:It's straight to the point.
Guest:You're going to do them damn business cards or you're going to fiddle around with this shit.
Guest:You fiddle around, you put the wrong fucking number, the wrong fucking name spelled backwards, you don't want to fiddle around with certain shit.
Marc:What's your whole name really?
Guest:My full name is J.B.
Guest:Smoove.
Guest:My full name, J.B.
Guest:Smoove.
Marc:What's your real name?
Guest:My real name is Jerry.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Sometimes, although my name is listed online, but see, when you expose too much of your real, real name, see, you use your real name.
Marc:Mark Maron.
Marc:That's your real name.
Marc:And people have a hard time with that.
Guest:People have a hard time remembering your damn name.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:People remember J.B.
Guest:pretty damn good.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Got a short name, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Now, certain people love...
Guest:your nickname.
Guest:But some people love your real name.
Guest:I tell you who loves your real name.
Marc:Your mother.
Guest:No, no.
Guest:Your mama gave you that name, so she has to love it.
Guest:But people who love it, who come along later on, who tend to love your name, are like bill collectors.
Guest:Discover and Visa and MasterCard and those kind of people.
Guest:Do you tell them you got the wrong guy?
Guest:They love your damn real name.
Guest:What is it with these people and your real fucking name?
Guest:Why are you so interested in my real name?
Marc:Because you're a real guy.
Marc:The real Jerry owes him the money.
Guest:JB doesn't owe him any money.
Marc:I can't get a loan on JB's show.
Marc:What was your first job in show business?
Guest:First job in show business was...
Guest:Might have been tomorrow night.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's why I appreciate Louis C.K.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Louis C.K.
Guest:is one of those dudes, man, that I really appreciate because, you know what, he really, really, you know, I've been lucky enough and blessed enough to work with some cool people.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And the one thing you want to do, I don't give a damn what you do.
Guest:You gotta work with people who wanna allow you to do what the hell you do.
Marc:Well, he completely appreciated you for who you were because I had never seen you before, really.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And, you know, I was in New York, and like you said, there was this separation of people.
Marc:I mean, you were probably working the strip, right?
Marc:Were you?
Guest:Man, I'm gonna tell you something.
Guest:I might have performed in the strip once ever in my life.
Marc:Right, so where did Louis find you?
Guest:See what I'm saying?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But I did the Boston.
Guest:I did the Boston, yeah, yeah.
Guest:I popped in and out.
Marc:Right.
Guest:But I think it's also, it comes about, when you're a...
Guest:We know who the comics are who are problem comics.
Guest:We know the ones that piss everybody off.
Guest:But then there's the guys who got the thick skin who could take it.
Guest:Who could take rejection.
Guest:Who have enough patience to say, you know what?
Guest:I'll wait my turn.
Guest:I'm not going to step on no toes.
Guest:I still want to have a good track record with people.
Guest:I want people to say, even though, you know, so I got taken advantage of here and there.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:This happened a few times, but you know what?
Guest:I got some thick ass skin.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And you could take that beating, but you at the end, for some reason, that ass whooping makes you tough.
Marc:When Louie found you, though, did you have any idea?
Marc:There was a time there where you showed up in his movie, and then I didn't know where you were for a long time.
Marc:What were you doing?
Guest:That's what I'm trying to tell you, man.
Guest:There's different types of comics, different type of venues, man.
Guest:It's the same story.
Marc:You were always doing okay?
Guest:Always, man.
Guest:I'm going to tell you why I do okay.
Guest:I'm always satisfied.
Guest:with the lights being on.
Guest:Until I can afford to buy the whole goddamn company.
Guest:And I'll be selling damn light.
Guest:That's all I'm working for.
Guest:I mean, I use that as an analogy, but it's true.
Guest:You work to the minimal until you can afford to run the whole shit.
Guest:Be satisfied.
Guest:See, your light is on right now.
Guest:The light is on in this fucking studio.
Guest:We are so happy we got this damn light.
Guest:But you know what?
Guest:If you got to the point where you made so much fucking money that you can buy the light company and sell your own goddamn light, you make a lot of money.
Guest:You goddamn right.
Guest:Because people love light in the darkness.
Guest:You know what?
Guest:Those people right now, every night you do a comedy show,
Guest:There's somebody in that audience who got to go home to a dark-ass house.
Guest:Somebody in that room is going home to a dark-ass house.
Guest:You know how frustrating it must be?
Guest:You feel like shit.
Guest:You walk home and your lights is black.
Guest:You got to stay outside and enjoy everybody else's light as long as you can because you know when your ass go home?
Guest:It's darkness.
Guest:All I'm saying is this, man.
Guest:You gotta be satisfied.
Guest:You gotta be satisfied, man, with your movement.
Guest:So I was always satisfied.
Guest:That's why you never saw me.
Guest:Because, you know, as rare as I did perform in certain clubs, it's timing, right?
Guest:It's being in the right place at the right time.
Marc:Were you doing the road, though?
Guest:Were you doing... Plenty of colleges.
Guest:You know how those colleges work.
Guest:But you gotta realize, with colleges,
Guest:No one in that audience can do a damn thing for you.
Marc:But you're making some money.
Guest:You're making some money.
Guest:It keeps lights on.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But it's not going to move you.
Marc:Towards owning the night company.
Guest:Like playing chess, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like playing chess, right?
Guest:You're sitting there studying your moves.
Marc:And you were like that?
Marc:Hell yeah.
Guest:I would sit there and study my damn moves.
Marc:Like, you know, you're making the next move.
Marc:You're always thinking the next move.
Guest:But also, you gotta know that, you gotta recognize opportunity when opportunity comes along.
Guest:When opportunity knocks, somebody gotta get their ass up and open the fucking door.
Marc:When you grew up, did your parents like this stand-up thing?
Guest:No.
Guest:I just have funny-ass parents, period.
Guest:My mom is hilarious.
Marc:Freaking hilarious.
Guest:My mom is still hilarious.
Guest:My mom's in her damn 60s and hilarious.
Guest:You ever have a parent so damn funny that other old people can't stand her?
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Oh, man.
Guest:They hate my mom.
Guest:They do?
Guest:So damn.
Guest:She just says the funniest shit.
Marc:But she didn't like you doing stand-up?
Guest:No, she loved me doing stand-up.
Marc:Oh, she did.
Guest:No, she loved me doing stand-up, but my mom is hilarious.
Guest:But my mom should have got on stage.
Guest:She's hilarious.
Marc:Why?
Guest:She's just funny.
Guest:She's naturally funny and doesn't realize that she says something funny.
Marc:She's not funny on purpose.
Guest:Not funny on purpose at all.
Guest:You know what?
Guest:She's funny on purpose, but no one gets it because at a certain age, you know what?
Guest:Osteoporosis, right?
Guest:It fucks your bones up, right?
Guest:But guess what's also part of your bones?
Guest:What?
Guest:Your fucking funny bone.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You ever hit your funny bone on your elbow?
Guest:Oh, fucking funny bone.
Marc:Yeah, it shoots a shock through your whole body.
Guest:At a certain age, you lose your fucking bone density and you lose your fucking funny bone.
Marc:Does she have osteoporosis?
Guest:Of course she does.
Guest:All old people got osteoporosis, man.
Guest:Are you fucking kidding me?
Guest:But that funny bone is also attached to that shit.
Guest:Old people ain't got a sense of fucking humor.
Guest:At a certain point, ain't no time for that shit.
Guest:They get cranky.
Guest:They ain't got no time to be listening to those stupid shit.
Guest:Don't be joking around with me.
Guest:I don't have time to be playing.
Guest:People at a certain age, you know you don't have a lot of time.
Guest:So you don't have time to be playing around with people.
Marc:So your mom's serious?
Guest:Oh, she laughs.
Guest:She cracks me up.
Marc:How many brothers and sisters you got?
Guest:I got two brothers.
Marc:And what do they do?
Guest:I got a younger brother who just started doing stand-up.
Guest:He's my middle brother.
Guest:You're the oldest?
Guest:I'm the oldest.
Guest:His name is Think Floyd.
Guest:Think Floyd is his stand-up man.
Guest:It's kind of catchy, though.
Marc:Sure, it's catchy.
Guest:Pink Floyd as opposed to Pink Floyd, who's a rock star.
Marc:I get it.
Marc:Is his name Floyd?
Marc:His name is Floyd.
Marc:So he's going Think Floyd.
Guest:But to tell you one thing, though, you must believe that nobody from MasterCard or Visa or Discover going to fuck around looking for Think Floyd.
Marc:No.
Guest:Who the fuck names themselves Think Floyd for real?
Marc:How long has he been doing stand-up?
Guest:Probably a year.
Marc:How's it going for him?
Guest:Pretty damn good.
Marc:Does he call you up?
Guest:Of course he calls me up.
Guest:I haven't seen him perform yet.
Marc:You haven't?
Marc:No.
Guest:I have not seen him live yet.
Guest:I've seen him on tape.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:One bit.
Guest:Is he doing you?
Guest:On YouTube.
Guest:No, he's doing him.
Guest:He's doing him.
Guest:You know, it's more like, I guess it is what his title, his name is, Pink Floyd.
Guest:He does this, he goes deep.
Guest:He's an even little deep con.
Guest:Oh really, yeah, he's a thinker.
Guest:He really does make you think.
Guest:Oh yeah?
Guest:But it's cool when you got that style because all you're doing is making someone think like you for a minute.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Which is great, which is what we all do.
Guest:When we see a premise and we see people laughing already at the premise, we're thinking like, oh, I got the yes.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:They're laughing at the fucking premise.
Guest:I haven't even said the punchline yet.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:How great is that when you got an order?
Guest:Sure.
Guest:That's what you want.
Marc:Well, sometimes you can just leave it at the premise.
Marc:Sometimes you just go up there with a premise and hope it works.
Guest:And hope it works.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Maybe a punchline will happen.
Guest:A punchline comes by itself.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:What's the other brother do?
Guest:Other brother, he just works.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Just got a regular job.
Guest:Working guy.
Guest:Younger guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Younger brother.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He's doing his thing.
Guest:Moving about.
Guest:He's very funny, too.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Very hilarious.
Guest:But I want to say this.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Half the job is...
Guest:is walking your ass on that stage.
Guest:We all know that.
Guest:No matter what you do.
Guest:Stand up.
Guest:You're a goddamn stripper.
Guest:If you can walk your ass on that stage, for some reason the clothes come off very easily.
Guest:Because you're already on stage now.
Marc:You're going to do something about that.
Guest:You better do something.
Guest:You walk your ass on that damn stage and people are waving money and shit.
Guest:But walking on that stage, you're halfway there.
Guest:I don't give a damn what it is.
Guest:Stripping?
Marc:You don't know how long it's going to take to get the rest of the way there.
Marc:You don't have no idea.
Guest:You're a motivational speaker.
Guest:If you can get your ass up the nerve to walk on that stage, for some reason you're halfway there.
Marc:I've walked on stage.
Marc:I've had nothing.
Guest:But still, you walked your ass on that stage.
Guest:Do you remember having nothing?
Guest:Oh, hell yeah.
Guest:I remember having something, thinking I had something, but I had nothing.
Guest:Only way I changed that, man.
Guest:Only way I changed that was...
Guest:I started thinking about nothing.
Guest:And then I started getting a high from not knowing nothing.
Guest:I ain't no shit.
Guest:And I got a high from that because it allowed me to be in the moment.
Guest:Then I realized that there's something really cool about being in the moment.
Guest:Because you make every performance its own.
Guest:Every time you walk through that stage it's different.
Marc:And that's usually what you do?
Guest:You damn right.
Guest:You know why?
Guest:Because I don't want to be no fucking robot.
Guest:I don't want to be no damn robot.
Guest:Who wants to go on stage and be a robot all damn day?
Marc:Just jokes.
Guest:A lot of people out there are robots.
Marc:Yeah, that's not why we got into comedy.
Marc:Don't be no damn robot.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:That's what I'm saying.
Marc:That's what we talked about.
Marc:Some people have to be robots.
Guest:Some people got to be robots the rest of their life, man.
Marc:They're not going in the forest.
Guest:They're not going to that damn forest.
Guest:They are forced to be a robot their whole life.
Guest:Unless you stop being a robot.
Guest:Unless you say, you know what?
Guest:I don't want to be a fucking robot.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:They got a few movies about that.
Marc:They're stacking their pennies.
Marc:They're not making trails with them.
Guest:these robots started getting self-conscious, self-awareness.
Guest:Human attributes.
Guest:They started thinking like a fucking human.
Marc:Blade Runner.
Guest:Yeah, you're damn right.
Guest:And when a robot starts thinking like a human, you got a goddamn problem.
Guest:I'll say it.
Guest:Especially if you're the boss of a factory and all you guys, people, robots putting damn pieces on, putting bumpers on cars or Cadillac converters and shit like that and little boats and shit in cars.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's all you ever did.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Guest:You leave.
Guest:You do that shit so much, you go home doing that shit.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:Right?
Guest:You'll start making love to your lady like you fucking building a fucking car.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:You know why?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You're fucking so used to it.
Marc:That's right.
Guest:You ever watch karate movies?
Marc:Sure, sometimes.
Guest:You ever see the karate movie where the guy went to Shaolin?
Guest:They always go to Shaolin.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Guest:I've never seen Shaolin.
Guest:I would love to go there one day.
Guest:You've never been to China?
Guest:I've never been to China, but I would love to go to Shaolin and see what the fuck goes on up there.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, sure.
Guest:Shaolin.
Guest:Everybody goes to Shaolin to learn karate, right?
Guest:I'm going to Shaolin to learn karate.
Guest:Right.
Guest:They go to Shaolin, right?
Guest:But they don't get the shit.
Guest:They get up there and all they want to learn is karate.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Guest:I once saw a karate movie where the guy went up there.
Guest:He wanted to go to Shaolin so bad and learn Kung Fu.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Sure.
Marc:Went there.
Marc:Talked to the master.
Guest:We talked to the master.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Master.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Master.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The master had him cleaning up the whole fucking time.
Marc:He's like, this isn't karate.
Guest:No, that's all he kept saying.
Guest:He's sweeping the floor, picking up trash and leaves and shit, cleaning up, and all he was doing was cleaning up the whole fucking time.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:Then one day he said, Master, when do I learn Kung Fu?
Guest:That's all he kept saying.
Guest:Every fucking week.
Guest:When do I learn Kung Fu?
Guest:All I'm doing is cleaning up around here.
Guest:You keep cleaning up.
Guest:You'll see.
Guest:He kept cleaning up, cleaning up, cleaning up, cleaning up, right?
Guest:All of a sudden, some bad guys show up to Shaolin.
Guest:Because you know bad guys always come to Shaolin.
Marc:Sure, they got to.
Marc:If they don't, the movie doesn't go anywhere.
Guest:You got to challenge the master, right?
Guest:They came up in there.
Guest:The master old as hell, right?
Guest:These dudes are good, too.
Guest:Kick that master's ass, right?
Guest:Kick the old guy's ass.
Guest:Oh, he's too fucking old.
Guest:Too many guys.
Guest:Too many guys, right?
Guest:You know who shows the fuck up?
Guest:Who?
Guest:The guy who didn't realize.
Guest:The sweeper.
Guest:That the master was teaching him a kung fu style.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Do you know this dude was cleaning up and kicking their ass at the same fucking time?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He had no idea he was learning kung fu.
Guest:He kicking ass.
Guest:I mean, he had the broom.
Guest:The fucking, the towel and kicked ass with that broom and that towel and that fucking, the sweeper.
Guest:Yeah, the dustpan.
Guest:The dustpan.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He dustpan the fuck out of these dudes.
Guest:Let me tell you something.
Guest:They had no idea.
Guest:They knew what was going on.
Guest:They said, is he cleaning up?
Guest:Right.
Guest:But he's kicking our ass at the same time.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:You would never get where you're supposed to.
Guest:See, I would never be where I am right now if I was a fucking robot.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:We gotta go on stage and entertain the audience, but at the same time, you gotta entertain yourself.
Marc:Gotta be in it, in the moment.
Guest:You gotta entertain your goddamn self.
Marc:So you don't do jokes, you don't do set jokes?
Guest:Yeah, I gotta set jokes, but I'm not nailed to them.
Guest:I'm not nailed to that ending.
Marc:Leave a little room in there.
Guest:I would change an ending every...
Guest:You will come see me one night.
Guest:You'll come next night.
Guest:He didn't say that last night.
Guest:He didn't say that in the last night.
Guest:He changed the whole shit around.
Guest:You know why?
Guest:Because you got to perform for your audience.
Guest:Right?
Guest:If you take this to shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'll write this.
Guest:You.
Guest:You are a male stripper.
Guest:You go to different shows.
Guest:When you're a good male stripper and you're well-endowed, ladies want to see you strip.
Guest:They want to see you dance your ass off.
Guest:You got to give it up.
Guest:You got to earn that money.
Guest:You hire your ass to come out of a fucking birthday cake or some shit or you're doing some bassinet party.
Guest:You better be going to the gym a bit too.
Guest:You damn right.
Guest:You got to prepare yourself to hop out that damn cake.
Marc:Have a big dick and go to the gym.
Guest:You got to have a big ass dick and you better be able to hop out that damn cake, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And ladies want to see something different.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I might even have a sermon circle with friends.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:When they see you dance your ass off, they're going to say, oh my God, I'm going to use this dude for my damn bachelorette party.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And you better come out that cake doing something different.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You better swing that dick.
Guest:Wear a different hat.
Guest:You better swing it.
Guest:You're damn right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You got to.
Guest:You got to.
Guest:You got to.
Guest:Mix it up.
Guest:You got to damn near perform for yourself.
Guest:I know it's kind of creepy and kind of freaky to sit there and say, turn your own self on with your own damn dick.
Guest:But you got to do it.
Guest:We do that.
Guest:We go on stage.
Guest:We entertain ourselves with our own fucking jokes.
Marc:The best moments I have on stage are when I walk off and go, that's never going to happen again.
Marc:You're damn right.
Marc:See what I'm saying?
Guest:That's what I mean.
Guest:You a male stripper, you on that dancer, you gotta be entertained by your own damn Johnson.
Marc:I was surprised by my own dick up there.
Guest:You gotta say, I can't believe I did this circular thing with my damn dick.
Guest:You can't believe what you just did.
Marc:You guys don't even have any idea.
Guest:How did I do that?
Guest:How did I do that just now?
Marc:It was magic, magic.
Guest:It won't happen again though.
Guest:Nope, that was it.
Guest:How did I pick that big fat lady up, right?
Marc:I have no idea.
Guest:It went crazy when I picked her up.
Guest:I didn't plan to pick her up.
Guest:how was I to know that she was going to be in a crowd 300 pounds and jump on me and I had to hold up in the air.
Guest:You had no idea.
Guest:No idea at all.
Guest:How fun is that?
Guest:It's the best.
Guest:That's what your life should be like.
Guest:That's what you want your life to be.
Guest:I'll tell you something.
Guest:The first thing I ever did
Guest:That's what I mean by you never fucking know where the fuck you're going to end up at.
Guest:Where that popcorn trail is going to lead your ass back to.
Marc:I think we went with pennies.
Guest:Fuck the popcorn and the croutons.
Guest:Remember the old improv?
Guest:I'm 44th Street.
Guest:You never know what the purpose of something until you get there.
Marc:This is going to be in the 80s.
Guest:late 80s, right?
Guest:Just before it closed.
Guest:Just before it closed.
Guest:I'm talking about the last summer, right?
Guest:Remember Marty Friedman?
Marc:Sure.
Guest:Marty Friedman.
Marc:Happy Marty.
Guest:Happy Marty.
Guest:Marty was teaching an improv class, right?
Marc:On a good day.
Guest:On a good, right?
Marc:Yeah, go either way with Marty.
Guest:You never know.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So, but the man knew what the fuck he was doing in improv.
Guest:You were taking his class?
Guest:I took his class, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:In the summer, I took his class.
Guest:This is crazy.
Guest:So I said to myself, this way you don't know what purpose something means.
Guest:So I said, you know what?
Guest:The first thing I want to do
Guest:is I want to figure out who I want to be on stage and off stage.
Guest:So I took an improv class, right?
Guest:This was the best shit I ever did in my life.
Guest:Took an improv class, found out who I wanted to be on stage and off stage, learned how to react to anything, a sneeze, a drink spills, anything, right?
Guest:Not even knowing the purpose of it, right?
Guest:This is what I mean by your path.
Guest:You don't know the purpose of shit,
Guest:That's what I mean by keeping things going until you get where you got to go.
Marc:So he was like your kung fu master.
Guest:Damn right.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Guest:I had no idea where this improv would fit it.
Guest:All I knew was I wanted to be comfortable on stage.
Guest:And I knew that I loved to play around, but how do you harness that shit focused on it?
Guest:Yeah, right.
Guest:It's like a laser beam.
Guest:A laser beam is focused, right?
Guest:It's very thin.
Guest:It can shoot you in the fucking chest.
Marc:So what were you doing in the class?
Guest:Improv.
Guest:Working with people.
Guest:Connecting with the audience.
Guest:Learning how to be spontaneous.
Guest:Learning how to improv.
Guest:I didn't know shit about improv.
Guest:You were just out of college?
Marc:A few years?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Out of college a few years, doing improv.
Guest:I know I wanted to do stand-up.
Guest:I took improv before I did stand-up.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So the improv helped me do the stand-up because it broke that wall down.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:It broke that wall down.
Guest:It made me loose and free.
Guest:I said, oh, okay.
Guest:Now I know what I want to do.
Guest:This is the style I want to do on stage.
Guest:I want to be able to improv and go.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Guest:So...
Guest:What happens?
Guest:Right?
Guest:I do all... I do my stand-up career.
Guest:I do films.
Guest:Louis C.K.
Guest:'s movie.
Guest:I do Tomorrow Night.
Guest:I do Pootie Tang.
Guest:I do all these cool things.
Guest:Little movies here and there.
Marc:Do you ever do any writing?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So, I'm going to tell you about how this shit go.
Guest:So...
Guest:As you know, I was a writer on SNL.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know, 0, 4, 5, and 6.
Guest:Right?
Guest:These are all the things that I did.
Guest:All the cool things that kept them damn lights.
Marc:How'd you get the gig on SNL?
Guest:Just audition, man.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:Actually, the last time I was ever in the comic strip was at an audition.
Guest:For Lorne?
Guest:When Tracy Morgan actually got on the show.
Guest:We were on the same showcase.
Guest:Yeah, I was there.
Guest:I was at the same showcase.
Guest:Like 95?
Guest:95?
Guest:yep and then tracy got on the show i didn't get on the show but i kept doing what i was doing and then you count back improv class that summer before the improv closed right i end up on curbing enthusiasm right which is an improv show right now i wonder myself
Guest:Would I have been on Curb Enthusiasm?
Guest:People love Curb Enthusiasm.
Guest:Would I be on Curb Enthusiasm doing improv if I didn't take that improv class years ago to prepare myself and loosen myself up to get on stage?
Marc:No.
Guest:Probably not.
Guest:See, that's one of them pennies.
Guest:You can't.
Guest:That's them goddamn pennies, man.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I dropped them pennies from the improv into that damn forest.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Did everything I could do in that forest.
Guest:Met people in the forest.
Guest:Hung out with people.
Guest:Did some shows in the forest.
Guest:Right?
Guest:But damn, when I thought back, those damn pennies were still there.
Guest:I walked back.
Guest:I run into people like you again.
Guest:Man.
Guest:We haven't seen each other in years.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Yeah.
Guest:You're one of those goddamn pennies.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You're a penny.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You're a white penny.
Marc:I'm okay with the white penny.
Guest:Penny's a brown.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:You are a white penny.
Marc:I'm glad to be a white penny.
Guest:You're a dime.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But the dime the size of a penny.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:You understand?
Marc:I can live with that.
Guest:You know what I'm saying?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You're a penny.
Guest:So when you were at SNL.
Marc:You're one of those goddamn pennies.
Marc:You auditioned to be in the cast, right?
Guest:Yeah, so then the second time, the second time I went for audition.
Marc:After Tracy, after you didn't get it.
Guest:After I didn't get it, moved to L.A., right?
Guest:Moved to L.A., started doing some stand-up there.
Guest:Let me tell you something crazy.
Guest:My first week in L.A., right?
Guest:I'm in L.A.
Guest:What's this, 94?
Guest:I'm going to say my first week.
Guest:I'm going to say my first time performing.
Marc:What year?
Marc:94?
Marc:93?
Marc:2001.
Marc:After 9-11?
Guest:01.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Got 20 split.
Marc:Got to go.
Marc:01.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Guest:01.
Guest:I moved to LA.
Guest:Started doing some stand-up.
Guest:Went to the comedy store in LA.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Went on stage at a comedy store, right?
Guest:I had already done sketches on the Chris Rock show and that kind of stuff, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Here and there.
Guest:Louie was there.
Guest:You know Louie put me down.
Guest:He loves you.
Guest:He loved me.
Guest:They had sketches for me.
Guest:I did some sketches on the show.
Guest:So...
Guest:I go to LA.
Guest:I moved to LA.
Guest:I'm doing a comedy store one night.
Guest:Everybody and their mama is in the audience.
Guest:You know how the comedy store gets in.
Guest:Oh my God.
Guest:Eddie was there.
Guest:Freaking Arsenio Hall was there.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Why were they all there?
Guest:It's a hot night.
Guest:That's when they had Fat Tuesdays.
Guest:Oh, that's the hottest night.
Guest:It's a black night.
Guest:But white people come too.
Guest:I don't want you to think that it's a straight black night.
Guest:There's white folks in there.
Guest:White folks, black folks, but it's called Fat Tuesday.
Guest:Yeah, I remember.
Guest:In the main room?
Guest:Yeah, P-H-A-T.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:If you get what fat means, all the white people that knew what P-H-A-T meant would come.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Anyway, you know what I mean?
Marc:Those kind of white people.
Guest:Those kind of white people.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know what I'm saying?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So Chris Rock was in the audience.
Guest:Everybody.
Guest:And then I actually went on.
Guest:I think I closed the show.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And man, let me tell you something.
Guest:You know how you get those nights when you have one of those sets where everybody, they got you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They right there with you.
Guest:Man, great set.
Guest:Knock on wood.
Guest:Great set.
Guest:Had a good damn time, right?
Guest:Chris had already seen me do his sketch on his show, but he'd never seen me do stand-up live.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:So, I'm going to tell you something.
Guest:This is crazy.
Guest:I moved to L.A.,
Guest:to go back to New York to do the Chris Rock show and do stand-up on the Chris Rock show.
Guest:So I was the one that, I think only a handful of people ever did stand-up, I think maybe four, maybe four people ever.
Marc:So he saw you do stand-up in LA and then you had to go back, but you'd already done work with him before?
Marc:Just sketches on the show.
Marc:Right.
Guest:But stand-up-wise, he never seen me.
Guest:You were just an actor to him.
Guest:I was an actor.
Guest:But he knew I was just stand-up.
Guest:But still, I see the person live to say, hey, I want you to perform on my show.
Guest:So I ended up going back to New York to perform on the Chris Rock show doing stand-up.
Guest:And then I came back to L.A.
Guest:to go right back and do Pootie Tang.
Guest:See, I think sometimes, like,
Guest:I moved to L.A.
Guest:to be in New York any damn way.
Guest:But so, like, Louie, are you in touch with him ever?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:I just did his show, his new show, Louie.
Guest:Oh, you did?
Guest:I just did an episode a month ago.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Marc:A month ago, yeah.
Marc:How was it?
Guest:Good?
Guest:Oh, man, it was so fun, man.
Guest:Louie is amazing, man.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, and I love his process, man.
Guest:I love his process, man.
Guest:I love what he's doing, you know.
Guest:I just love what he does is amazing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I like people who, in comics, who...
Guest:You know, they make a choice and they do it how they're going to do it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And no one could ever say, you know, when you finally turn that corner, no one could say, you know, you did it because of this or I gave you this.
Guest:We work for ourselves.
Marc:We are our own business.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:I think Louis learned a big lesson on Pootie Tang.
Marc:He's like, I'm not going to... Right.
Marc:Pootie Tang was something else, man.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:No one's going to take anything away from me again.
Guest:Pootie was a mess.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Pootie Tang was a mess, man.
Guest:It's a cult following, but...
Guest:When you have a vision for something, you want to do it the way you want to do it.
Guest:You get that vision and you say, this is how I'm going to do it.
Guest:When someone comes along, all these other hands coming out of nowhere, they start fiddling around with shit.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Right back to that fiddling around.
Guest:People start fiddling around.
Marc:Too many fiddlers.
Guest:Too many goddamn fiddlers, man.
Guest:You don't want to be around too many fiddlers.
Marc:Especially if you have to answer to a fiddler, you're in problem.
Guest:You know what a fiddler is, man?
Guest:A fiddler never pulls out the manual.
Guest:They never pull the manual out and see how the fuck this really works.
Marc:they don't give a fuck the manual's still in the bottom of the box but they take out what they gotta do and start fiddling around and some fiddlers don't like to know what's in the manual because if they do then they'll only be able to blame themselves see fiddlers with money they can blame other people you damn right yeah you damn right yeah we were all fiddling and that you guys fucking fiddled it to fuck I was doing the right kind of fiddling you was doing the right kind of fiddling yeah that's bullshit it goes back to fiddling again so how'd you hook up with Larry man let me tell you something man how things work man
Guest:I tell people all the time.
Guest:As much as we hate hearing our ladies talk, we all do.
Guest:Everybody will admit it.
Guest:Guys can't stand hearing their lady talk.
Guest:You got to learn how to pretend like you're listening.
Guest:You know what a man's worst nightmare is?
Guest:What?
Guest:Is to be in a conversation with this lady, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And like halfway through it, she just says, what'd I say?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:You are fucked.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Scrambling.
Guest:You couldn't repeat what the fuck she said.
Marc:Scrambling for key words.
Guest:In a million years.
Marc:I think you picked up a couple.
Guest:You picked up a little, little tidbit you might have picked up.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But your ass wasn't listening.
Marc:Nope.
Guest:That's the man's worst nightmare.
Guest:You go into panic mode.
Guest:You don't know what the fuck.
Guest:You really don't know what the fuck she said.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:So once in a while, I do listen.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You have to.
Guest:No, you gotta listen.
Guest:You gotta listen once in a while.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:She'll still catch your ass not listening.
Guest:Occasionally.
Guest:Occasionally.
Guest:But, uh,
Guest:That's if you've got a tricky ass wife.
Guest:You've got a tricky lady who will throw that at you all the time.
Guest:You'll be careful.
Guest:You've got to stay on your toes a little bit.
Guest:So my wife says, I'm watching Kirby Enthusiast.
Guest:I'm working at SNL.
Guest:I said, man, I would love to be on this show one day.
Guest:I said, I love this damn show.
Guest:We're sitting on the couch laughing our ass off at Kirby Enthusiast.
Guest:Big fan of this show.
Guest:It's in 0-4.
Guest:No, 0-6.
Guest:It's 0-6, right?
Marc:You're not on SNL then, are you?
Guest:Yeah, I did 0, 4, 5, and 6, I did it, right?
Marc:Okay.
Guest:My fourth season, I didn't get renewed.
Marc:Right.
Guest:So I'm sitting at home, just right after I didn't get renewed.
Guest:So I'm sitting at home like, what's next for me?
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Trying to figure out what to do next, doing some stand-up shit on the road.
Guest:But I was sitting on my couch watching Curb.
Guest:And I said, baby, I love this show, so I would love to be on this show.
Guest:And she said, this is what I mean by ladies.
Guest:Some ladies got your fucking back.
Guest:They got your back.
Guest:She said, you're going to be on that show one day.
Guest:She said, you would be perfect for that show.
Guest:She said, baby, I'm telling you, you would be perfect on that show.
Guest:I can see you on that show because you're always saying crazy shit.
Guest:You're always making people laugh.
Guest:You're always like...
Guest:making dumb stuff up and i said that'll be fun and i sat back on the couch i don't know what the fuck happened maybe you know some kind of you throw things to the universe sometimes yeah and they come the fuck back yeah but you can't throw anything yeah you gotta throw shit that got a curve to it right you know i mean you can't just throw a fucking carton of milk or some shit like that in the universe right no the universe accepts certain things but they got to be able to accept it to send it back to you
Marc:It's got to be a focus.
Guest:You can't throw a fucking teddy bear or dumb shit like that into the universe.
Guest:You got to throw a fucking boomerang.
Marc:Yeah, a boomerang.
Guest:You know why?
Guest:Because a boomerang come back to your ass.
Guest:That's right.
Marc:So you sent that boomerang out into the world.
Guest:And depending on how deep you throw it into the universe, depending on when it's going to come back.
Marc:Yeah, you gotta be able to catch it.
Guest:The universe is endless.
Marc:You gotta catch it when it comes back.
Guest:Or if you're really fucking strong, you throw the shit too fucking far, you gotta wait a long time for it to come back.
Guest:Right?
Guest:But if you just kind of let's fling it, you know fling it.
Guest:You know how to fling shit, right?
Marc:Doesn't get out of your sight.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You can throw it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You throw shit.
Guest:Come on.
Guest:It goes too far.
Marc:It's too far too far.
Marc:Watch the boomerang.
Guest:You fling that motherfucker.
Guest:It's going to go to a certain point.
Guest:It's not coming back.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So I guess what happened was we fling that little.
Marc:That little.
Guest:I want to do that show.
Guest:I think it's the universe.
Guest:Right.
Guest:That's how I sound.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it's just coming back.
Guest:But eventually, because space slows shit down a little bit too.
Guest:Sure, a little bit.
Guest:A little bit.
Guest:It's like the same gravitational pull.
Guest:But when that shit started coming back, when it started coming back, it's coming back hard.
Marc:How'd it come back?
Guest:I'm going to tell you what happened.
Guest:So I put that out there.
Guest:My wife said I was going to be on the show.
Guest:I didn't think about it no more.
Guest:So I'm on a roll performing to a buddy of mine.
Guest:Remember that song?
Guest:This is a crazy story.
Guest:Remember that song, This Is How We Do It?
Guest:This is how we do it.
Guest:My buddy produced that song for Montel Jordan.
Guest:His name is OG Pierce was his name.
Guest:He's a producer.
Guest:He produced that song.
Guest:This is a crazy story.
Guest:So I ended up, I was in a role performer.
Guest:I was in Atlanta, Georgia in my hotel room after my show.
Guest:And my phone rings, right?
Guest:And one of his friends calls me and says, hey, I'm a friend of OG's.
Guest:You know, I have his cell phone.
Guest:I'm calling all his friends to let them know that he passed away.
Guest:So I'm like, wow.
Wow.
Guest:I said, OG passed away?
Guest:She said, yeah, he passed away.
Guest:I'll call to let everybody know that we're going to have a jam session for him in L.A.
Guest:At this club in L.A., all the musicians are going to get together and just jam and jam his music and just have a good time because he would want people to have a good time even though he's gone.
Guest:I was like, wow.
Guest:I said, man, because this is a guy that I met who was doing music coordinator on the Cedric show.
Guest:And Cedric had a variety show.
Guest:I was on that show also.
Guest:So I met him on that show.
Guest:We became good friends.
Guest:And he was like one of those guys that loved, laughed at every fucking thing I ever, anything I do, he would laugh his ass off.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:Then he started doing some music with my wife.
Guest:My wife, Shahida Omar, is a vocalist also, right?
Guest:So he started doing some stuff with her, some music with her.
Guest:So it all made sense.
Guest:I got a new friend who also did music, who can also work with my wife on her music.
Guest:So I said, damn, baby, OG passed away.
Guest:I said, I got to go to LA.
Marc:I said, I got to go to LA, man.
Marc:And you bring her too?
Guest:Yeah, so we both came to LA.
Guest:This is crazy timing.
Guest:So before I left New York, I had just met with my new agent, right?
Guest:I met my new agents.
Guest:I got rid of a new agent.
Guest:I got rid of a clean house.
Guest:No agent.
Guest:I got rid of everything.
Guest:So I started over again.
Guest:I said, I'm going to start over again.
Guest:So I got a new agent.
Guest:New manager.
Guest:New manager.
Guest:Everything, right?
Guest:So I go to L.A.
Guest:for the memorial jam session.
Guest:So I go there.
Guest:I was only in town for two days.
Guest:I got here on a Friday.
Guest:Had to leave on a Saturday.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I'm in town.
Guest:I said, you know what, while I'm in town, I'm going to meet with my new agents.
Guest:So I go over to the agency, and I'm sitting there talking to them.
Guest:They're like, what you want to do?
Guest:So I'm just sitting there telling them what I want to do.
Guest:You know, six, seven agents in the room.
Guest:Oh, yeah, that whole thing.
Guest:I said, you know what, I've been behind a computer typing jokes on SNL for three seasons now.
Guest:I said, you know what, I think I'm ready to get back in front of the camera and start doing some more stuff, you know.
Guest:I got my stand-up stuff.
Guest:I'm going to start building on some things.
Guest:I said, I would love to see what awaits me.
Guest:Right?
Guest:So they said, when are you leaving town?
Guest:I said, well, I'm just in town because a buddy of mine passed away.
Guest:I just want to, you know, I just came to town to pay my respects for him.
Guest:We're going to have a jam session tonight.
Guest:Then all of a sudden, one of the agents came in late.
Guest:And he said, hey, man, sorry I'm late, JB.
Guest:Good to meet you.
Guest:You know, I was working on this audition thing.
Guest:Came last minute.
Guest:And he said, you know, uh,
Guest:How long are you in town?
Guest:I said, man, I just came in town when my buddy passed away.
Guest:I'm not even supposed to be here.
Guest:I just kind of popped in.
Guest:So I said, he said, you know what?
Guest:I got an audition here.
Guest:I said, you want to do it?
Guest:I said, yeah.
Guest:I said, what's it for?
Guest:He said, Kirby Enthusiasm.
Guest:I said, what?
Guest:I said, man, I fucking love Kirby Enthusiasm, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But then I'm thinking like, oh shit, I just caught that boomerang.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I said, it took about a month for that shit to come back, but it came back.
Guest:I caught that fucking boomerang.
Guest:He said, I said, well, you know, I got to go to a memorial service tonight at his club.
Guest:But I said, I'll leave tomorrow.
Yeah.
Guest:He said, can you go now?
Guest:I said, I can go right now.
Guest:So I leave the agency, go straight to the audition, right?
Guest:I get there, all kinds of people are in the lobby waiting to go in.
Guest:Other comedians, you know, a lot of actresses mainly.
Guest:You know, Vivica Fox and everybody like that.
Guest:All the little pieces.
Guest:The people who are going for her part,
Guest:guys who are going in for my part.
Guest:A lot of actors I recognize, character actors.
Guest:I'm like, oh shit, a lot of people in the lobby, right?
Guest:So I'm waiting to go in and I read the sides.
Guest:I said, I know who this fucking guy Leon is, right?
Guest:And I get him.
Guest:I get this dude.
Guest:Everybody knows a guy like Leon.
Guest:I said, I'm going to go in there because I got a thing about what I do is I always tell actors this shit.
Guest:You go in the fucking room
Guest:Ask the character you're going for.
Guest:Don't go in there and have to turn on the actor that you want you to portray.
Guest:You come in there as that dude.
Guest:Let them see who that dude is immediately.
Guest:You don't walk in there and wait and come in there as your fucking self.
Guest:They say, are you ready?
Guest:And you say, yeah, I'm ready.
Guest:And clear your fucking throat.
Guest:Then you do the character.
Guest:No.
Guest:You come in there as that goddamn character.
Guest:I came in that door.
Guest:I'm thinking like I'm going to go on camera.
Guest:It's just going to be like, okay, they're going to put you on tape.
Guest:Like how most auditions are.
Guest:No one's ever in that fucking room.
Guest:I had no idea I was going to improv with Larry David directly.
Guest:I walk in the room.
Guest:Larry's standing in the middle of the room.
Guest:I said, holy shit.
Guest:I said, oh shit, Larry David.
Guest:I looked to the right.
Guest:It's like Jeff Garland and Susie and Cheryl Hines.
Guest:I said, oh shit, everybody's in the room, right?
Guest:Larry Charles.
Guest:I said, holy shit, everybody's here, right?
Guest:I'm like, oh.
Guest:But I had already came in the room
Guest:as the character.
Guest:Because that's the only way it gets me going.
Guest:I gotta come in as the fucking character.
Guest:I came in the door.
Guest:I said, what the fuck is up, Larry?
Guest:That's the first thing I said.
Guest:I said, what's up, Larry David?
Guest:What's going on, baby?
Guest:And he just started smirking, right?
Guest:He started smiling.
Guest:I said,
Guest:Let's do this, baby.
Guest:Improv, right?
Guest:Let's improv this shit, Larry.
Guest:And I turned around.
Guest:I said, man, I don't know, Larry.
Guest:I might fuck around and slap him in the face, man.
Guest:Let's improv, right?
Guest:Anything can fucking happen.
Guest:And I just walked away and we started the scene and Larry was like, he looked at me like, what the fuck is wrong with this dude, right?
Guest:But he got it.
Guest:He got where I was going at with the character.
Guest:And also, I came in the door as the character.
Guest:You know, I had no idea.
Guest:He told me later on, he said he had no idea who Leon was until I walked in the room.
Guest:So you got to give it to him directly.
Guest:You can't fuck around waiting around, you know.
Marc:So how long did that go on for when you first went in?
Guest:We did two scenes together, man, and we're fucking hollering.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Everybody's dying.
Guest:I'm just like, we're just laughing our ass off.
Guest:It felt like, you know,
Guest:The first, you know what?
Guest:So we did that whole thing, right?
Guest:I left there, right?
Guest:I'm driving and my agent calls me.
Guest:He said, how'd it go?
Guest:I said, look, man.
Guest:I said, here's how I think.
Guest:I said, man, we had a ball, a fucking ball.
Guest:I said, if anybody else can go in that room,
Guest:and have that much fun god bless them yeah god bless them they deserve the role because just now we had a ball just now yeah so then i leave la the next day right no calls leave la i go to pittsburgh you know how this is right sure i want an hour and a half outside of pittsburgh went from sunny la to the freezing bitterness how was that jam oh my god huh how was the jam session
Guest:Oh, the jam session was beautiful, man.
Guest:Beautiful, man.
Guest:Met a lot of people.
Guest:See, one thing about those jam sessions, man, you meet people who didn't even know that you knew OG.
Guest:Cedric was there.
Guest:Everybody was there.
Guest:Oh, man, I didn't know you knew OG.
Guest:I said, yeah, man.
Guest:I met OG on the show.
Guest:He said, wow.
Guest:All kind of people.
Guest:I had no idea his circle of friends.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Huge circle of friends, man.
Guest:So then- Go to Pittsburgh.
Guest:I leave Pittsburgh the next day.
Guest:Go out there.
Guest:I flew to Pittsburgh.
Marc:Middle of nowhere.
Guest:Middle of fucking nowhere.
Guest:Hour and a half outside of Pittsburgh.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Riding through the hills and shit.
Guest:It's the worst.
Guest:You're going to a gig.
Guest:You're like, what did I get into?
Guest:What the fuck am I doing here?
Guest:Way in the fucking back somewhere.
Guest:Is it college?
Guest:No, a club, man.
Guest:Horrible.
Guest:I don't even remember the name of the club, but it was horrible.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Guest:I got to the hotel.
Guest:This fucking horrible.
Guest:This hotel was terrible.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You've been in a hotel so fucked up that people who work there are trying to warn you about shit.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Don't sweep on the bed.
Guest:Right.
Guest:They're giving you little hints.
Guest:Oh, I'm like, this place is terrible.
Guest:Don't drink the water.
Guest:Oh, it's horrible, man.
Guest:I get to the club.
Guest:The club is worse.
Guest:I said, what the fuck am I doing here, right?
Guest:So then I do the show.
Guest:The guy says before the show, right, hey, no dirty material.
Guest:I said, oh, okay.
Guest:I'm thinking like he meant like, you know, no sexual craziness, too much craziness.
Guest:I said, okay.
Guest:But I'm on stage performing, you know, throwing some dirty words out here and there, but I'm not doing any dirty material, right?
Guest:People are smoking, people are drinking, people are drunk, all kind of shit's going on.
Guest:I'm saying to myself, this is kind of weird, right?
Guest:So I get off stage and the guy's like, what the fuck, man?
Guest:I said, what's wrong?
Guest:I told you no dirty material.
Guest:I said, man, look, what the fuck do you mean dirty material?
Guest:I said, I just said a few...
Guest:curse words here and there, but it wasn't anything dirty.
Guest:I didn't do anything crazy.
Guest:He said, man, I told you, man, we don't do that around here.
Guest:I said, wait a minute.
Guest:You got people smoking.
Guest:You got people drinking beer, drinking alcohol.
Guest:People are drunk out there.
Guest:You mean to tell me you really expect people to come all the way up here an hour and a half outside of Pittsburgh and not curse?
Guest:Are you kidding me?
Guest:In a place that sells alcohol and
Guest:drinks and smoke and that's the baddest thing you can think about people are leaving here drunk i said you know what it's fucking cold the hotel's fucked up i said there's no reason in the world i should even be here right so he said you know what man maybe i'll get somebody to come down from pittsburgh to do the weekend i said you know what i'm cool i said you know what i'm cool brother i'm gonna pay you for the night paying for the night right i said i know i said you know what
Guest:Then I read the forecast, right?
Guest:It said, you know what?
Guest:It's going to snow tomorrow.
Guest:I said, you know what?
Guest:If I stay here tonight, way up here in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, an hour and a half outside of civilization, I'm going to fuck around and get stuck here.
Guest:And the last thing I want to do is get stuck here.
Guest:And you know how it is.
Guest:We know.
Guest:Being a New Yorker, you know it goes down.
Guest:You stay too long somewhere, you go upstate, do a show upstate, you stay too long, you fucking realize, even if it snows not in the forecast, it's gonna snow.
Guest:And you can't get out.
Guest:And you can't get the fuck out.
Guest:I said, you know what, I'm gonna leave tonight.
Guest:So I start driving back, right?
Guest:I'm telling you, no sooner than I got on the highway, it fucking started, little flurries, right?
Guest:I said, uh-oh, shit.
Guest:I said, damn, we got an hour more to go.
Guest:I said, oh, shit.
Guest:All of a sudden, it got harder.
Guest:And fucking harder.
Guest:I'm doing 20 miles an hour on the freaking highway.
Guest:People are pulling over.
Guest:I mean, it was a straight blizzard.
Guest:Blizzard, right?
Guest:I'm driving like, oh, shit.
Guest:So then my phone rings, right?
Guest:I said, oh, shit, my fucking agent.
Guest:He's probably calling me about this fucking bullshit I just walked away from, right?
Guest:I said, all right, man.
Guest:I said, I had to get out of there, man.
Guest:I couldn't take it, man.
Guest:He said, oh, yeah, the guy called me then.
Guest:Don't worry about it, man.
Guest:That dude, he's an asshole anyhow.
Guest:Don't worry about it, man.
Guest:You know what, though?
Guest:I wouldn't even worry about that, man, because you got curbing enthusiasm.
Guest:I was like, what?
Guest:I said, man, you fucking killing me right now, man.
Guest:I'm on the highway doing 20 miles an hour in a snowstorm.
Guest:He said, what?
Guest:I said, man, you do not understand.
Guest:I am in a fucking blizzard right now.
Guest:I can't even see out the windshield.
Guest:He said, man, slow down.
Guest:Do 15.
Guest:Get back to Pittsburgh.
Guest:Get your room.
Guest:Relax and get back to L.A.
Guest:in two days.
Guest:I was like, holy shit.
Guest:I hung the phone up.
Guest:I called my wife.
Guest:I said, she's my fiance at the time, but now she's my wife.
Guest:I said, baby, guess what?
Guest:You ain't gonna believe this shit.
Guest:Why did I just get a call from the agent saying I got curbing enthusiasm?
Guest:Man, I heard the phone like drop and she was just screaming.
Guest:Oh my God.
Guest:Oh my God.
Guest:I told you.
Guest:I told you.
Guest:I told you.
Guest:No, I'm gonna tell you another thing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:This is how things work, man.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You gotta look out for people who look out for you.
Guest:So I do the whole season, right, of Cripping Enthusiast, right?
Guest:Moved back to LA, right?
Guest:I went to LA, did two weeks, right?
Guest:Left LA, went back to New York, packed all my shit.
Guest:Because I had to move there.
Guest:I didn't have SNL no more.
Guest:There was no reason for me to stay in New York.
Guest:You know how New York is.
Guest:You get to a certain point, you kind of finish with New York.
Guest:Got to go.
Guest:So packed all my shit up.
Guest:Got a Penske truck.
Guest:Drove.
Guest:We put the car in the back.
Guest:We had the back car trailer.
Guest:24-foot Penske truck.
Guest:Drove cross-country three days.
Guest:Packed everything real fast.
Guest:Had to be at work that Monday.
Guest:Left on a Thursday night at 7 p.m.
Guest:Me and my wife drove cross country with our dog in that Penske truck.
Guest:Three days, no hotel, nothing.
Guest:Three days of cross country, three storms, ice storm, freezing rain, and a snow storm in Arizona.
Guest:Didn't even stop.
Guest:Just kept fucking rolling, gassing up, rolling, rolling, rolling.
Guest:Got there at one in the afternoon on a Sunday.
Guest:had time to get in the fucking bed and relax a little bit and go to work that Monday morning and made it just in time, right?
Guest:First day of work, right?
Guest:Me and Larry did the first day.
Guest:The first scene we ever did together was, I think it was the ejaculate scene.
Guest:We shot the whole day, right?
Guest:And then like in the afternoon, Larry said,
Guest:you know what?
Guest:It feels like we've been working together for years.
Guest:I was like, wow.
Guest:I said, it does feel very comfortable, Larry.
Guest:I will say that much.
Guest:He said, it feels like we've been working together for years.
Guest:And sometimes you get that.
Guest:When it's right, when that fucking boomerang come back,
Guest:like we talked about you can't be in the fucking shower showering and that fucking somebody knocking on the fucking door and you full of suds and bubbles and shit you know washing your balls you know and somebody knocking on the door you don't hear the knock because you you lathering up your balls right you gotta be able to hear that damn door even in the shower so when I threw that when that boomerang got thrown into space
Guest:And it came back.
Guest:It came back when it was supposed to come back.
Guest:It didn't come back just out of spur of the moment.
Guest:It came back when it was supposed to come back.
Guest:And it put me in the right position at the right time.
Guest:Now this is some crazy shit right here.
Guest:Now watch this part.
Guest:So we did the whole season, right?
Guest:So then...
Guest:This is how I know how the world works, man, and how faith and everything works.
Guest:We had a rap party at Lucky Strike.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Rap party.
Guest:The rap party, you know, the gag reel, right?
Guest:You know what the gag reel is?
Guest:People don't know what a gag reel is.
Guest:A gag reel is a compilation of outtakes and all the funny shit that happened during the year that they put together for the rap party.
Guest:So they put a gag reel together for the rap party, right?
Guest:This is how crazy this thing works, man.
Guest:So the gag reel is fucking hilarious.
Guest:All kind of funny shit.
Guest:Something they didn't even use for this.
Guest:Didn't even use.
Guest:But it was just funny.
Guest:All the crew, cast, everybody had a good time laughing.
Guest:Guess what?
Guest:The theme song was on the fucking gag reel.
Guest:This is how we do it.
Guest:crazy yeah me and my wife looked at each other like holy shit i gotta chill up my fucking spine man that shit was crazy we were like holy shit the whole gag reel this is how we do it all i could do man was point to the sky and say yo yo thank you brother you know i mean thank you brother yeah thank you man then
Guest:i didn't even think of i didn't even put one and two together so the t-shirts for that season the the t-shirt he gave everybody got a t-shirt yeah and on the t-shirt it had this this is why you know you this is really fun man because it just shows you how you know you become a good person you just do things the right way man you just let things come as they're gonna come man
Guest:Don't force feed it.
Guest:Don't step on toes.
Guest:Don't burn no fucking bridges.
Guest:Get what you're going to get out of what you put into it.
Guest:That way you're satisfied when you get there, man.
Guest:You're not saying, oh, everybody gave me this or I fucked somebody else's career up.
Guest:Just little things, no matter how small they are, you still feel good about it.
Guest:So they had their t-shirts out.
Guest:This is funny.
Guest:So the t-shirt, they had the curve on the front, on the pocket.
Guest:They're on the back.
Guest:It had, it had, it brings the ruckus to the ladies.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:I love it because I'm like, oh shit, I got a quote on the back of the curb shirt.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:It brings the ruckus to the ladies.
Guest:How cool is that, man?
Marc:You did all right for yourself, man.
Guest:Let me tell you something, man.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:This is what, this is what I like, man.
Guest:Even sitting here with you, man.
Guest:This is what makes,
Guest:what you do, fun, man.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Now, if me and you had some bullshit, we weren't both good guys, and we had some bullshit that went down years ago, we wouldn't be sitting here.
Guest:You're one of the few people I don't have bullshit.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:We wouldn't be sitting here
Guest:Having a good time like this.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Right.
Guest:It'll be like, I'll bring him in, but fuck it.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:I could give a fuck about him when he goes home.
Guest:Hope he has traffic.
Guest:I hope he has no AC.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:You're like, you don't give a fuck.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Marc:No, I'm happy for you.
Guest:It's just fine, man.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, and it's good to see people.
Guest:You want good souls and good people around you, man.
Guest:You want to reconnect with cool people, man.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yep.
Guest:And that's what makes all this worthwhile, man.
Guest:You're supposed to enjoy it, man.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, when you leave this place, man, you're supposed to leave this place with, wow, that was some fun times.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You're supposed to get all you're going to get out of whatever you want to do, where your dream is.
Guest:You get all you're going to get out of that shit, man.
Guest:Don't worry about what anybody else can.
Guest:Nobody tell you what the fuck you can and cannot do.
Guest:You got to make that shit happen.
Guest:You got to be satisfied with them goddamn lights being on.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And that fucking popcorn, pennies, whatever, croutons, whatever the fuck you want to drop.
Guest:You drop that shit for a purpose.
Guest:So you can keep yourself grounded and know who you met along the way.
Guest:Who did you right?
Guest:Who did you wrong?
Guest:So you can say, you know what?
Guest:I'll skip over that penny.
Marc:Right?
Marc:You can keep that penny.
Guest:You can keep that penny.
Guest:Fuck it.
Guest:That's for you.
Guest:You keep that shit.
Marc:Thanks for talking, buddy.
Guest:Man, you the man.
Marc:You too.
Marc:That's our show.
Marc:A lovely man, that J.B.
Marc:Smoove.
Marc:It makes you happy just talking to him.
Marc:Did it make you happy just listening to him?
Marc:Made me happy.
Marc:Look, people.
Marc:Nashville, Zany, July 21st and 22nd.
Marc:Montreal, Just for Laughs Festival.
Marc:I'll be doing on the 28th a stand-up show followed by a live WTF.
Marc:with a bunch of people on it.
Marc:Godfrey, Nikki Glaser, Glenn Wool, Mike Wilmot's going to stop by.
Marc:Oh, I'm spacing a little bit.
Marc:Good show.
Marc:Going to be fun.
Marc:Chris D'Elia.
Marc:Okay, what else?
Marc:Go to WTFPod.com for all your WTFPod needs.
Marc:Grab some JustCoffee.coop over there.
Marc:Get the app.
Marc:Kick in a few shekels.
Marc:Check the episode guide.
Marc:Pick up the first 100 episodes on DVD.
Marc:The two DVD set with some rare video footage.
Marc:Get a shirt.
Marc:Do something.
Marc:Go check it out.
Marc:Leave a comment.
Marc:And I'm not even going to ask you to be nice anymore.
Marc:I'm not even going to do it.
Marc:So I'll see you at one of those places.
Marc:Now back to the performance art piece already in progress.
Guest:Boomy.
Guest:Boomer.
Guest:Come here, buddy.
Guest:Come here, Boomy.
Guest:Come here, buddy.
Guest:Come here, Boomy.
Guest:Come here, buddy.
Guest:Come here, Boomy.
Guest:Boomer.
Marc:Come on, man.
Marc:Fuck that other cat, man.
Marc:Bumi.