Episode 293 - Joel McHale
Guest:Are we doing this?
Marc:Really?
Marc:Wait for it.
Marc:Are we doing this?
Marc:Wait for it.
Marc:Pow!
Marc:What the fuck?
Marc:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?
Marc:What's wrong with me?
Marc:It's time for WTF!
Guest:What the fuck?
Guest:With Mark Maron.
Marc:All right, let's do this.
Marc:How are you, what the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fucking ears?
Marc:What the fuck nicks?
Marc:What the fuckologist?
Marc:And what the fuckaholics?
Marc:How's that?
Marc:What the fuck that?
Marc:Huh?
Marc:Thanks for listening.
Marc:I am Mark Maron.
Marc:This is WTF.
Marc:This is my podcast.
Marc:You know that.
Marc:You downloaded it.
Marc:So here I am in your head.
Marc:Wait a minute, this is getting confusing.
Marc:I'm on vacation, but I'm still doing shows because I'm recording this at a different time than I am on vacation.
Marc:God forbid anything has happened to me that would imply that my vacation did not go well in a dramatic way.
Marc:Let's speculate about that in a minute.
Marc:On the show today, Joe McHale, Joel McHale, it sounded like Joe McHale when I just said it, Joel McHale.
Marc:I have a problem with elves.
Marc:Joel McHale is on the show today.
Marc:And this interview was recorded before Dan Harmon exited the show.
Marc:So that was not discussed.
Marc:So I don't want you listening to it thinking like, what the fuck?
Marc:You didn't even ask him about that.
Marc:I would have, but I didn't because unless I could see into the future, it would not be an appropriate line of questioning.
Marc:But I can see in the future right now because I'm on vacation, but I'm not.
Marc:I'm leaving tomorrow, but I'm actually on vacation as you're listening to this.
Marc:Am I bending your brain a bit?
Marc:I am in the packing process.
Marc:And I'm trying not to panic.
Marc:There's something about flying over water for a long period of time that bothers me.
Marc:I find comfort in the idea of crashing onto land more than water.
Marc:I think I discussed that with Wayne Coyne in another episode.
Marc:But I know that this day is going to come to a head where my girlfriend, Jessica, is going to be in a panic about things that aren't washed.
Marc:We're going to be washing clothes into the night.
Marc:And figuring out a way to dry them.
Marc:We did this once before.
Marc:There was no way the clothes would have dried outdoors.
Marc:We had a number of hours.
Marc:So what I did, I was resourceful and I was excited about this because I think it was one of the few moments that I've ever experienced.
Marc:Some genius in my life, and she appreciates me for this, but I came up with this idea that we hang all the dresses that need to be hung dry in the bathroom.
Marc:I bring in the space heater and a large floor fan, and we just create a drying chamber out of the bathroom.
Marc:And I did that and she was very impressed.
Marc:I saved us both from a lot of aggravation.
Marc:Her being aggravated that her clothes aren't dry and me being aggravated that we're doing any of this shit.
Marc:So hopefully that won't happen tonight.
Marc:I think we got a handle on it.
Marc:And I'm going to admit a couple other things.
Marc:I am the no longer proud owner of, I counted them, 10 Lacoste shirts.
Marc:That's with the alligator.
Marc:I went through a period where I thought that that would be...
Marc:ironic and rarely am i an ironic dresser but i thought it would be ironic and then hence cool if i wore lacoste um pullover shirts and i did that for a long time i don't know when that period was but it was all i wore for a while several different colors and i found a a hot is that is that the hot pink lacoste shirt
Marc:But with the price tag still on it, I was compulsively buying these things.
Marc:I don't know if it was some sort of aggravated preppy dream or I was aggravated at preppies in a dream.
Marc:But I was attacking something that I believed needed to be attacked by wearing them.
Marc:But of course, they were much more powerful than me.
Marc:You can't transcend something as emblematic and as entrenched in the culture as a Lacoste shirt and think that you can make it something that it isn't.
Marc:It's just it's a fucking Lacoste shirt.
Marc:And then you're just a guy wearing one.
Marc:There's nothing that's it.
Marc:And you represent that.
Marc:And that's that's who you are.
Marc:You know, it's not even worth it.
Marc:The point I'm trying to make is I'm bringing them all to Hawaii because I'll wear them there because you don't have to give a fuck what you wear in Hawaii.
Marc:It's just casual wear.
Marc:I'm going to wear them there.
Marc:Then they're done.
Marc:I'm giving them away.
Marc:Enough said.
Marc:So let's speculate before we get to Joel what I'm actually doing.
Marc:Let me picture what I'm doing right now.
Marc:It's my last day of vacation.
Marc:I'm flying home tomorrow.
Marc:I'm exhausted from the vacation because it was way too long for me to be away without freaking out to be on an island.
Marc:No less.
Marc:I had a lovely time.
Marc:Did not go on the helicopter.
Marc:I'm going to speculate that we did not take the boat around the island because we just didn't get up or we couldn't get it together.
Marc:I'm going to speculate that it was difficult to not freak out on a day-to-day basis, even though it was wonderful and I laid out in the sun a lot.
Marc:And I'm sad I'm leaving Hawaii on one level, but I'm ready to get back to work.
Marc:That's what I'm going to do.
Marc:That's my speculation.
Marc:of what's happening in real time while you're listening to this, not me freaking out a little bit.
Marc:I have to go to Costco still to get nicotine lozenges and stock up on that.
Marc:I'm bringing a pair of binoculars I've never used.
Marc:I'm bringing a couple of items of clothing I've never worn.
Marc:But no, but I'm speculating that I'm ready to come home and I've had a lovely time.
Marc:Now, mind you, if something horrible has happened to me,
Marc:If I was pulled under the surf by a pack of sea turtles and they somehow gave me the gift of the ability to breathe underwater and I'm now leading some sort of small sea turtle army in an underwater cave, then none of this holds.
Marc:God forbid something bad happened for me.
Marc:That actually wouldn't be a bad thing.
Marc:And I'm very open to that.
Marc:That would be awesome.
Marc:But that would be the end of the podcast.
Marc:But I would be the leader of an underwater sea turtle army.
Marc:Huh?
Yeah.
Marc:When that guy gave me that picture, I was fucking thrilled.
Marc:I need to find a place for it.
Marc:Now it's just the first thing you see when you walk in.
Guest:That's a good place to put it, though.
Marc:It's like a couple years before he passed.
Guest:You could just move your what the fuck.
Marc:The cartoon?
Guest:You could just move both of those up a little bit, and I think it would fit.
Marc:Oh, you're right, man.
Marc:I had no idea that Joel McHale would be doing some interior decorating here at the garage.
Guest:Is she really?
Guest:Yes, she is.
Guest:So I have that sort of, no, I don't.
Guest:But what's great is that when you walked in, it's like he's looking at you like you've caught him like, hey, what are you doing here?
Marc:Right, that's what I want.
Marc:I want people to feel that.
Marc:I want them to feel the pressure of Dangerfield when they walk in here.
Marc:That's great.
Marc:Well, you're right.
Marc:I could probably move that up.
Marc:Wait, so your wife's an interior decorator?
Guest:Well, yeah, not as much as she used to because now we have children.
Marc:So you did that to her.
Guest:Yeah, I did that to her.
Marc:You did.
Guest:Yeah, I had the hard part.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, no, they're four and seven.
Guest:And so she now does a lot of just straight art, which she enjoys thoroughly.
Marc:Isn't it nice that you've gotten yourself to a level of lifestyle to where your wife can just paint?
Guest:Yes, it's a real marker in my career.
Marc:If you can just paint and watch those kids.
Marc:Basically, you're saying, like, do whatever you want.
Marc:Just make sure you take care of those guys.
Guest:Just keep those guys alive for a bit and do some art.
Guest:Yeah, that's true.
Guest:That's, yeah.
Marc:I don't know, like, I don't understand the women thing that well, but it seems that- But you've always- I've had them.
Marc:Dated a lot.
Marc:No, I've dated and married.
Marc:I met your- The ex, sure.
Marc:Yeah, years ago.
Guest:Yeah, we worked together at the Palms.
Guest:Yeah, you got to see me.
Guest:That was one of the first times I was doing stand-up.
Marc:Yeah, we'll get into that, because I think we talked a little bit about that, too.
Marc:At the big show, yeah.
Marc:Do you hear buzz?
Guest:Yep.
Guest:God, I wonder where that buzz is.
Guest:I don't even know.
Guest:I wouldn't even know where to look.
Guest:I just don't know.
Guest:How do you fix a buzz like that?
Guest:Because it's not pushed in far enough?
Marc:I don't know if it's the headphone or it's the mic.
Marc:See, that's the real fear.
Marc:So we got the, okay.
Guest:You know, like when you have a plumbing problem, it's just like maybe.
Marc:What do you mean when you have a plumbing problem?
Marc:You mean you don't get ready?
Guest:Well, it's either like finding like a Christmas light on the string that goes on the tree or when you have a plumbing or electrical problem, I'm just like, I will.
Guest:If someone said, I'm putting you on a desert island and fix this electrical problem and then you can leave, I would die on that island.
Marc:Yeah, no, electric is scary.
Marc:You got to be careful with electric.
Marc:But plumbing, you should try once or twice.
Marc:You never said like, you know what?
Marc:Give me the book.
Marc:I'm going to get in there.
Marc:Ever.
Guest:It's like, no, I would never.
Marc:You never, have you taken a hammer to wood?
Marc:I have.
Marc:And what was that for?
Guest:I almost died.
Guest:I did construction for a few summers and-
Guest:That was it, huh?
Guest:Which I did like, but we were building a garage, and they were moving this huge pre-made roof, and they dropped it.
Guest:And they screamed, because I was in the middle of it trying to move it across, and they screamed,
Marc:uh get out of the way and it nicked my back and there were they that is that construction worker thing where if you didn't die then it's funny and uh they thought it was really funny but i had never moved faster in my life well you know you seem like a big guy you seem like a thick guy but i know because i've talked to you before that a lot of that's just compulsive exercise yeah i mean you're not you're not tool guy no no like i could see you like i could see you on a construction site being like the laughing stock all the time
Guest:Yeah, I had zero skills, so I ended up usually just shoveling.
Marc:Well, what part of your life was that?
Guest:They were paying in cash.
Guest:I needed a summer job, and I was trying to buy a ticket to Europe.
Guest:So I spent the entire, I funded a trip of, I went by myself to Europe my senior year of college.
Guest:And so I bought the ticket, flew to Europe.
Guest:So I spent every dime I had on that trip.
Marc:Yeah, and what did you learn?
Marc:Were you going to find something?
Marc:No.
Guest:I was like, I need to find it.
Guest:I spent all the time.
Guest:I didn't go anywhere else except for Italy.
Guest:So you just went to Italy?
Guest:I took an art history class, a Renaissance art history class.
Marc:So you went there with your notebook.
Guest:I went there with my notebook.
Guest:It was the thing I was like, I'm going to do this.
Guest:So I went to all these museums.
Marc:And you saw all the paintings that you saw in books.
Guest:I was like that's what I wanted to see that's what I wanted to see did you have true moments with these paintings or was it just sort of like done check Mona Lisa done that's Paris I did get distracted by some wine but yeah that was no but I did go like you go to wow this is getting but you go if you go to Padua I think I've been to Padua Padua and you can get right off the train and go to this tiny little chapel and they're like this that painting right there in that chapel is where they say the renaissance started that actual painting
Marc:Was there a dance?
Marc:Was there any speculation that the guy who was painting it was like, ah, man, this is it.
Marc:Everything changes from this point on.
Guest:Yeah, he walked out of the chapel and screamed, booyah.
Guest:Let the renaissance begin.
Guest:Do you remember what painting it was?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's where Jesus is.
Guest:It's the Stations of the Cross is where Jesus is betrayed with a kiss by Judas.
Guest:And they say that the way he had constructed the paint.
Guest:I can't.
Guest:The perspective, right?
Guest:The perspective.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Was that the it all.
Guest:Single point perspective.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:And so that did it.
Marc:There you go.
Marc:So that was a guy that said enough of this flat, primitive, medieval shit.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:This is going to look like a room with people in it.
Marc:Right.
Marc:It's always weird when you go like, oh, yeah, that didn't happen for a long time.
Marc:And then it happened.
Marc:I know.
Marc:It's like a child's game.
Marc:Like, you just put the point.
Marc:You put one point there.
Marc:You draw four lines out of it.
Marc:And then you connect.
Marc:You do horizontals and verticals.
Marc:And there it is.
Marc:And it took thousands of years before.
Marc:What is it called?
Marc:Single point perspective?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, that's right.
Marc:That's the key to the renaissance.
Marc:That basically is it.
Guest:i wonder if that guy had that moment you know when you finally learn how to juggle you know that that when you get that third ball in the air and you're doing it you're like oh shit it's a whole new day yeah i just look what i yeah and i i think for those guys it's like oh well this is what it should have always been right how did they miss this yeah like well this is a simple game it was like like before remember like before they broke the four minute mile people like well you'll your legs will just fly off your body and your heart will explode
Guest:Yeah, there's like it's impossible.
Guest:I think then Bannister did it and they're like, oh, you can just do that.
Guest:And then all of a sudden, you know, everyone broke it.
Marc:There's got to be a vanishing point.
Marc:I don't even know if that's the right thing where it just you can't do it anymore.
Marc:Like you can't run a two second mile.
Guest:That'd be frightening.
Guest:Well, they say Usain Bolt is supposedly 10 years ahead of where... He's the future?
Guest:He's the future.
Guest:But they do that.
Guest:You look at that movie, Citizen Kane, and you watch it now, and people are like, it's the greatest movie ever made.
Guest:Deep focus.
Guest:Yeah, you watch now and you're like, oh, well, what was the big deal?
Guest:And you're like, if there was a guide track to the DVD where it just goes, oh, there's movie history, there's movie history, there's movie history.
Guest:You just shot the ceiling, that's movie history.
Guest:And you don't take all that stuff.
Marc:What's weird, a lot of that was that guy, what was his name?
Marc:Greg Toland?
Marc:Was that Wells' cinematographer?
Marc:Oh.
Marc:Toland?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:That's one of those situations where not unlike any situation where you have a genius, there's always a guy...
Marc:Yeah, but he wasn't really the guy.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It was the other guy.
Guest:But it also takes Orson Welles going like, yeah, just do that.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Marc:Right.
Guest:Because that guy was probably told a thousand times, yeah, that's not how it works.
Guest:You got to do it like this.
Marc:So wait, were you an art guy?
Guest:I mean, was that- I was a history guy, only because I- Well, that was the one subject I would actually pay attention to in high school and college, and-
Guest:Art history or any history?
Guest:I focused on World War II history, but I had to take some art history, which I ended up loving.
Guest:It was more kind of, it was all that stuff.
Guest:I was like, oh, I always wanted to know this stuff.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I forgot it since.
Guest:And then I would just cheat my way through all the other classes.
Guest:I was terrible at math and languages.
Marc:Yeah, I was no good at languages or math.
Marc:Did you take the stupid test to get out of your language?
Guest:I did take the, I just cheated on the final.
Marc:You did?
Guest:I did.
Guest:I cheated on all the tests.
Marc:How the hell you cheated on a language file?
Marc:Final.
Marc:So you're a self-admitted cheater.
Marc:Self-cheater.
Guest:Yeah, I've started talking.
Guest:No, how do you do it?
Guest:Well, you get to know people in the class and then you figure out which questions.
Guest:Yeah, it's hard because you have to write sentences.
Guest:So I had to BS.
Guest:Some of them I kind of knew.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But like the math stuff.
Guest:I came to college and was so dumb at math that I had to take a course to just get into college math.
Guest:So I was for zero credit was the course.
Guest:Right.
Guest:It's one of those, like a community college class.
Marc:Yes.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And the teacher literally said to me, he goes, please tell me you're not going to take any major that requires math.
Guest:And I was like, no way.
Guest:And he's like, good, I'll pass you.
Guest:Just don't do it.
Guest:And I'm like, believe me, this is not a warning.
Guest:This was my plan the whole time.
Guest:You just saved me.
Marc:Not to do that.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:I have no idea how it works.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I gleaned nothing from algebra.
Marc:That was where it ends for me.
Marc:Algebra was it, and I fucked that up.
Guest:See?
Guest:Yeah, can't do it.
Marc:Chemistry, couldn't do.
Guest:Oh, chemistry was a disaster.
Marc:Yeah, I was given an E in chemistry, which didn't even exist.
Marc:The teacher had it literally, what do they call it?
Marc:It's like F is too good.
Marc:good for mark yeah yeah i don't want it to be that clear i just want people to know that you've tried your best and you're incapable of doing it and f would imply maybe you were ditching class or something like that you can't you're not capable ironically now my seven-year-old is very good at math so well that's good so i don't know i was like i don't know you got that's from your side so you can't because i i'm not gonna be able to do homework with him
Guest:uh yeah but not uh it's not yeah he's uh first grader so it's not not yet we don't have we don't go to one of those schools that uh is already telling them what now what your parents uh what were they in what was their racket they my dad did a lot of things he was from uh real estate but the most uh the longest thing he did was uh executive head hunting he had his own company i think we kind of talked
Marc:We talked about this once before.
Guest:But he was the dean of students at Loyola University as well.
Guest:So he did a lot.
Marc:But you were born in Europe for some reason, right?
Marc:Yeah, in Rome.
Guest:My dad was the dean of students at Loyola University Rome Center.
Guest:So academics.
Guest:Yeah, but he grew up in Chicago.
Guest:And he saw a couple movies that took place in Italy.
Guest:He would see spaghetti westerns or he'd see Roman Holiday and be like, that's where I want to go.
Guest:And he figured it out and got there.
Guest:And my mom's dad worked for the UN.
Guest:So, and they moved the whole family from.
Guest:Was he a diplomat?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He helped to restore and monitor fish populations around the world.
Guest:Oh my God.
Guest:So he was going to, yeah, see, there you go.
Marc:Monitoring fish populations.
Marc:It's one of those jobs where you think, I guess someone's gotta do that, but it's important.
Guest:Yeah, but you'd be, the way he was treated, he would... By the UN?
Guest:Oh, no, but he would meet with the king of Morocco, and he would meet with, he helped restore Japan's fishing industry after World War II.
Guest:Is he known for that?
Guest:He wrote a book on it.
Guest:Yeah, and he helped design- What's the name of that book?
Guest:Ocean Forum.
Marc:Ocean Forum.
Guest:Yeah, it's very popular.
Guest:Roy I. Jackson.
Guest:That's your grandfather?
Guest:Yeah, Roy I. Jackson.
Guest:Roy Ingvold Jackson.
Marc:He's the fish guy.
Guest:Yeah, and at Ellis Island, they changed his name.
Guest:His father got to Ellis Island, and they were like, what's your last name?
Guest:And they're like, well, it's Smidja Bakken.
Marc:No, it's not.
Guest:Yeah, but my great-grandfather was just like, it's gonna be Jackson.
Guest:I want to sound like, his thing was like, he's like, I want to sound like an American.
Marc:Smidja Bakken.
Marc:Smidja Bakken.
Marc:What is that from?
Marc:Where was he from?
Marc:That's from Norway.
Marc:You look Norwegian.
Guest:Oh, thank you.
Yeah.
Marc:thank you so much yeah i have a lot i have uh my dad's almost 100 irish so just scandinavian irish with you scandinavian irish finn and scottish finn see the finn in the in the norwegian that's what saved you that's comedy that's that's a lot of comics come out of that no what that is is that you know you're going to look good on camera no matter what thank god yeah that that saved you man yeah all that spray tan doesn't do anything nothing
Marc:So it's weird, like your dad went because he saw a movie and you went because he saw a painting to Italy.
Marc:You guys are romantics.
Guest:My aunt and uncle still live there.
Guest:And my cousin still lives there.
Guest:He looks exactly like me, but he speaks obviously perfect Roman.
Guest:He went to school in America and he took the AP test for Italian and found a mistake on it.
Guest:That's how good he was.
Marc:But you never went to Norway?
Marc:Never been in Orland.
Marc:And I went to Scandinavia?
Marc:No.
Marc:Why are you afraid you won't feel special there?
Marc:I'm just afraid I'll just run into the hinterland and never come back.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Do you have that party?
Marc:These are my people.
Guest:I'm done with this shit.
Guest:Oh, yeah, right.
Guest:I don't know why.
Guest:I think I went to Rome because I had a place to stay in my aunt and uncle's apartment.
Marc:though man i went to italy and even if you don't care about it at all it just lives up to everything yeah you expect it is oh the history is the history well the art's amazing and it's just the food is good beautiful people seem to be having fun yeah they don't work too hard it seems it seems like you know the entire town right and you go to france people like these people don't work this is
Marc:i mean they work obviously but they take a break during the day right it's like we're closing up for an hour or two to take a nap yeah isn't that still happen it's they yes it's if everyone stops working at four o'clock and comes and like eight o'clock the whole place comes alive yeah and it makes sense because like yes it's the hottest part of the day they stop working right and here we're just like i'm still working at 10 at night not you know not with any focus or anything but i know i have to keep working
Guest:And then you feel guilty that you've done it for so long, you're like, I need to keep doing something.
Marc:Yeah, I can't relax at all.
Marc:I woke up like anxious.
Marc:Ah, shit, Joel's coming over.
Guest:I got gardeners outside.
Guest:Just filled in a wall.
Marc:Yeah, they had to clear the brush.
Marc:They cleared a lot of brush.
Marc:I've never seen it cleared like that down there.
Guest:For those of you who are not living in Los Angeles, you add water to anything or in Southern California, you add water to anything here and you will grow thousands of pounds of plants that you cannot intend.
Marc:Yeah, and if you add fire to anything also here, the entire city will catch fire.
Marc:And that's why they have you clear the brush.
Marc:It is a tinderbox.
Marc:Oh, and now Pierre, every year I'm like, oh, how close is that fire?
Marc:Because there's like, LA's the only place where they have fire season where you just sort of like, it's that time of year.
Marc:There's acreage burning.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Hundreds of them.
Guest:And it used to be that all that stuff would burn every year and never grow too high.
Guest:So it would burn to be a small burn.
Guest:But then when people moved in-
Guest:everyone stopped allowing the burning.
Guest:So everything grew big.
Guest:And so when it catches fire, it's an inferno.
Guest:Do you remember when Glendale was on fire?
Marc:I mean, that was crazy.
Marc:And the park up there.
Guest:There was the observatory, the Griffith Park.
Marc:I've never been in a fire.
Marc:I've had one experience with fire where I'd set fire to some stuff in order to do the weed thing and just got out of control immediately.
Marc:i call fire oh my no not here this is in new mexico but you don't really realize the power of fire like there's this idea that like if i get a hose no if there's a wall of flame coming there's no it's not gonna stop no it creates its own weather yeah it will jump us it's like a living organism it just feeds on oxygen it's like backraft
Marc:Yeah, man.
Marc:That's a fucking good movie.
Marc:It is.
Marc:So, all right.
Marc:I don't know if it... Does it hold up?
Marc:Have you seen it recently?
Marc:I have not seen it recently.
Guest:I've been bull... This has been bullshitting the whole time.
Marc:It has.
Marc:You want to get down to the real shit?
Marc:Let's get down.
Marc:Come on.
Marc:Yeah, so let's get down to the real stuff.
Guest:Your mustache looks great.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:Very, very rare.
Marc:Your hair looks good.
Marc:Everything's looking good.
Marc:Your arms are big.
Marc:It's true.
Marc:You're still... What a dick.
Marc:no i'm just saying it's hard for i've never i need i know i just do you couldn't do a mustache you'd look ratty no and up for you my my upper lip spreads out too much yeah so yeah it would look very i would look like a like a pedophile yeah i mean more like a scandinavian pedophile yeah i think you'd look more like a stereo salesman you know sort of like you know if you just had a regular mustache you'd just be like hey how you doing yeah just a car we're putting the thing in
Marc:You'd be that guy.
Marc:Not like a guy who knows how to put them in, but you'd look like a salesman.
Marc:That's what you'd look like.
Marc:I'll take it.
Marc:You're kind of a salesman, aren't you?
Guest:I am.
Guest:Yeah, I sell everything I'm in.
Guest:I do.
Guest:I go on, what do you think I'm doing here?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:It's not going to be a pro.
Marc:Watch Community, 8 o'clock on Thursday nights.
Marc:You're so happy that came back, aren't you?
Marc:Well, yes.
Marc:Are you guys just constantly amazed at Harmon's brain on a day-to-day basis?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:What is happening?
Guest:He's like, what's the guy from X-Men?
Marc:I don't know which one.
Marc:Brainiac.
Marc:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Marc:He is kind of.
Marc:You're just sort of like, one day his brain's just going to sizzle.
Guest:He's going to fry.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:He's got the Tolkien brain where you're just like, there's a whole world in there that- Just keeps manufacturing itself.
Guest:Yeah, that will just keep coming out.
Guest:And thank God-
Marc:Let's go back to, let's lead up to community because I want to do justice to you and your career that I used to be envious of, but I've decided that.
Marc:Really?
Marc:You're not envious anymore?
Marc:No.
Guest:Let's go out and look at my car.
Marc:What kind of car is it?
Marc:Is it a good one?
Marc:Yeah, it's a good one.
Guest:What is it?
Guest:No, I was joking.
Guest:Which car is it?
Marc:Oh, I brought a Porsche.
Marc:You brought a Porsche?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You mean you left the shitty car?
Guest:I left, what was it?
Guest:I don't know, the Aston.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:No, I'm not Adam Carolla.
Guest:I don't have that many cars.
Guest:We have a total of two cars.
Marc:One's a big one for kids, and the other one's the one you play with, right?
Marc:Yeah, that's my car, which they fit in the back.
Guest:You just drive the car into the back?
Guest:No, there's a little child.
Guest:You'll see it.
Marc:I thought you meant the car you have fits into your SUV.
Marc:It almost does.
Guest:It is so light that if we're parked on a hill, one wheel will just come off the ground.
Guest:Is it a Porsche?
Guest:It is.
Guest:Which one?
Guest:The Turbo S. Yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Good time.
Guest:It's a good time.
Guest:I still get in that car going like, I can't believe this is my car.
Guest:Yeah, that's a, well that, I mean, why not have fun, right?
Guest:Yeah, I've always wanted a sports car and it was one of those moments where I'm like, I can't believe I get to have this.
Marc:Yeah, because I got an old Camry out there and there's part of me that's like, I'm going to get a new one.
Marc:But in my brain, it's always like another Camry.
Marc:it's not like a sports car you've never dreamed of having an exotic car or a car of any other sort of my dad had a couple of fancy cars and I like them you know but there was always that sort of like then you got the fancy car worries like in my mind like if that thing gets beat up fuck it
Marc:i don't care if it gets but like sometimes now like i walk out to a parking lot and one of my rims is missing you know so and it's like i've driven my car into my own wall so it's all scraped up on one side and there's part of me it's like yeah i should have some self-respect and get a car yeah well i mean it was an accident but think how much of a badass you would be if you bought a fancy car and still didn't care about it you're like nah big deal yeah yeah rub the fender of that ferrari on that is that how you are
Guest:Uh, I did munch, I did, uh, I've already ripped off, I didn't rip it off at the bottom, the front end is very low, and I have scraped that off pretty well.
Marc:But then you, like, if you go get one of those cars repaired, it's as much as my Camry.
Guest:Yeah, well, especially your Camry.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Guest:No, foreign cars are always strange.
Guest:But if you find a good guy, I got a really good guy.
Guest:You got a good Porsche guy?
Guest:No, no, no, a really good just body guy because we've banged off of all sorts of things.
Guest:Don't you wish you could do shit like that?
Guest:Yes, that's why I don't do it because I know I can't.
Marc:I know I call guys too, but don't you find it emasculating to have men working at your house doing simple things that you should be doing and your wife saying like, see, that's what you should know how to do.
Guest:I really play it up when they come over and I'll wear like a house coat.
Guest:Or a muumuu.
Guest:Hi, fellas.
Guest:And I'll just have a plate of grapes and I'll be like, oh, grab, oh, the wiper thing is broken or something.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Oh, shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No, my dad was very handy and my older brother is insanely handy.
Marc:So you're like a fucking big dork kind of, huh?
Guest:My dad said to me, because he remodeled our home.
Guest:My dad remodeled our house.
Guest:He goes, you either do it yourself or you make enough money to get someone to do it for you.
Guest:And I go, option B. And he was crestfallen.
Guest:He was just like, oh, this is not the son I was raised.
Guest:How did this happen?
Guest:Why did he do?
Guest:That was not the point of that lesson.
Guest:It wasn't to give him what he, oh, damn it.
Marc:Yeah, I, like, and also I find that with me, like, sometimes jobs, like I had the work done in the house where I'm like, I'm just too, like, I get overwhelmed thinking about the job that I'm going to pay someone else to do.
Marc:So I never do it.
Marc:Like, I just got central air and AC in there, and I was never going to do it.
Marc:I probably would still be married if I had central air and AC put in.
Guest:That's not true.
Marc:maybe it is but if you but now that you have the understanding that like you know that it's not gonna happen that is you have evolved that means okay I know I can't do this you got to make enough money to go get that but it's sometimes it's not even that much money that's the weird thing is like in LA like there are handymen everywhere yeah if you find yourself a guy you know this idea that's like that's gonna cost a fortune then they build a fence you know like holy fuck that wasn't that much yeah let's build a new house and your house on my house and you're so happy when it's finished
Guest:You're like, well, this is so much better.
Guest:I worry.
Guest:I thought about this for years.
Guest:And now it's finally.
Marc:And you somehow feel proud that you as if almost.
Marc:I called a guy.
Guest:There is a at our house still.
Guest:There is a doorknob that is frozen.
Guest:I don't know how it doesn't crank over.
Guest:And then there's a this antique drawer that we keep stuff in it.
Guest:Both of the poles don't work and they continue not to work.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And it's beginning to drive me out of my mind.
Guest:Why don't you call the guy?
Guest:We did, and I forgot to tell him because he fixed something else.
Guest:And now I would draw that easy.
Marc:I say, fuck it.
Marc:This is your opportunity.
Marc:It's a small job.
Guest:His name is Chris, the guy.
Marc:No, take it apart.
Marc:You should take it apart yourself.
Marc:This is your time.
Guest:You want me to take apart a doorknob?
Marc:Google doorknob.
Marc:Frozen doorknob.
Marc:Frozen doorknob.
Marc:Maybe even find the brand of doorknob it is.
Guest:But that means I would have to take the whole thing out.
Marc:Right.
Guest:There's no way it's going to go back the same way.
Marc:No, that's a defeatist attitude.
Marc:This is an isolated thing.
Marc:This is something you can control, Joel.
Marc:Don't meth addicts do this?
Marc:They take apart things?
Marc:That's what I'm saying is you get involved with meth and then do the doorknob work.
Marc:Mark, this sounds like a terrible... It's time for your fall.
Guest:It's a terrible... Okay.
Marc:You've made enough money in show business.
Marc:Everyone knows who you are.
Marc:It's time to get into the sordid show business.
Marc:All right.
Marc:It's time to get fucked up on drugs, get hung up on a doorknob,
Marc:okay i'm gonna tie and then get a nick nolte like uh yeah i want to see you taken out of your house in cuffs and then the the they they follow you out with a doorknob they're like this yeah this is what is this is what happened that it was uh do you watch msnbc's lockup
Marc:Occasionally, I find myself there.
Marc:And that's one of those things where it's sort of like, I couldn't live there.
Marc:Right.
Guest:They should just sit every at-risk teen down and just like, here's 12 hours of lockup.
Guest:Enjoy.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Good luck with that.
Guest:Well, my toilet, it's my sink.
Guest:And it's where I wash my clothes.
Guest:And where I eat.
Guest:It's where I take a dump.
Marc:It's where it's like, oh my gosh.
Marc:I cook my food in my toilet.
Guest:They do.
Guest:I know.
Guest:And then they're like, here's my privacy.
Guest:This is so I can take a dump and jerk off.
Guest:And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is... This is horrible.
Marc:This is like being a comic starting out.
Guest:No, it's not that bad.
Marc:Come on.
Marc:Is it?
Marc:Is it not?
Marc:So, all right.
Marc:So, like, let's put you into perspective as a credible comedic talent.
Marc:All right.
Marc:I'm going to go ahead.
Marc:Because I think my main issue with you was when I did do stand-up with you and you were headlining.
Marc:I did.
Marc:No jokes.
Marc:No, it was just a moment where it was like, this guy, he's not a comedian.
Marc:I agreed.
Guest:No, I know.
Guest:At that time, I would fully agree.
Guest:But you're very funny.
Guest:But I've done it a thousand times since then.
Guest:Now I have real jokes.
Guest:You do?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:You've done it a thousand times?
Guest:uh since that that was like 2005 yeah that sounds about right yeah i mean i basically went out every almost every single weekend since that moment now do you do up until about a year ago because my wife said this has to stop now the comedy stuff yeah you need to stop because because once you were selling tickets though right yeah yeah it was good uh yeah that's why i kept were you killing
Guest:You mean, were they happy or were the tickets sold?
Guest:Were they laughing?
Guest:They seemed to be laughing.
Guest:Throughout the show?
Guest:Throughout the show.
Guest:It's a lot different than you'd remember.
Marc:Whose jokes were they?
Marc:Yours?
Marc:I don't know.
Guest:I would just go to a library and read jokes and be like, oh, these will be the ones.
Marc:These sounds good.
Marc:They haven't been done in a while.
Guest:No, the actual, it ended up, it does a lot about pop culture and a lot about my family.
Marc:Did you use your writers from the soup?
Guest:Some of the jokes are, you know, they're from soup stuff that has morphed into larger, and it's a lot of commentary on reality shows and things like that.
Marc:But you got good timing.
Marc:You're quick.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:No, it's gotten, believe me, compared to what you saw, which was nothing.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And, yeah, so, yeah, that was bad.
Marc:But you didn't come out of nowhere.
Marc:You went to theater school, right?
Guest:Yeah, I did kind of back into the stand-up because it was when The Soup was on.
Guest:The Soup was already on, and the booking agent was like, if you go out- And do this.
Guest:And do this, you're going to make a lot more money.
Guest:And I was like, really?
Guest:And so I just began hosting shows.
Guest:That was even before I was hosting shows.
Guest:That was kind of one of my first-
Marc:So you do a few minutes and then host comedy shows?
Guest:Yeah, and I do in between until... Then I went to Ogden, Utah, and I headlined for the first time.
Guest:I did like five shows in one night.
Marc:Utah changes everything for everybody.
Marc:It does.
Marc:You go to Utah, you're like, holy shit.
Guest:If you can get the Mormons and the Mormons that have turned away, then you're good.
Marc:You joke about that, but there's a couple of comics that... Brian Regan will do a month's worth of shows in Utah at a 3,000-seat arena.
Marc:It's incredible.
Guest:He's also incredible.
Guest:He's amazing.
Marc:He's amazing.
Guest:He, what's, with the Mormons, it was like, or at least in Ogden, because they, because you don't, you can't do a show on a Sunday, but the girls would show up in like Laurel Ingalls Wilder flowerly, flower dresses, and then standing next to them looks like a member of Marilyn Manson's band.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And they'd be like, this is my sister.
Guest:And I'm like, let me guess.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You left the church?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I thought that was a, it was so, it was very.
Guest:You get the pioneer people.
Marc:Yeah, it was either one or the other.
Guest:There was no one just wearing, you know, a fleece sweatshirt or a fleece coat.
Marc:No, there was the reactionaries and the believers.
Marc:Oof.
Marc:Yeah, but they're all still there.
Marc:It seems like even the lapsed Mormons still get along with their families for the most part.
Marc:They do.
Marc:It's kind of bizarre.
Guest:Yeah, and I guess that's great that they still get along.
Marc:So your degree was not in art history, right?
Guest:No, I just majored in history, which I just ended up taking a lot of war history.
Guest:And then I did a sketch comedy show in Seattle called Almost Live that was on for a long time.
Guest:Then I wasn't on for very long, but it was on for a long time.
Guest:How long were you on that?
Guest:I think it was a total.
Guest:I was three years full time and then left.
Guest:And that was the bald guy was there, right?
Guest:John Keister.
Marc:Right.
Marc:John Keister.
Marc:And that thing was on Comedy Central for a while.
Marc:Did get some national attention kind of for a while.
Guest:Yeah, it was weird.
Guest:I mean, when it was, you know, for Seattle, it was really funny.
Marc:It went on forever.
Guest:People in Orlando probably didn't get the Tuck Willa jokes.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Or the Tacoma jokes.
Marc:Is it still going on?
Guest:No, it's not going on, but it was a great place for me to really screw up.
Guest:Do you talk to John Keister at all?
Guest:Once in a while, I will talk to him.
Guest:I talked to Bob Nelson, who was on the show, who now is a screenwriter.
Guest:Down here?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, he lives in Seattle still, but he's a screenwriter.
Guest:And then there's a guy named Pat Cashman from that show.
Marc:And your family moved to Seattle?
Guest:My dad and mom moved to Seattle in the 70s from Rome.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And at that point, Seattle was not the teaming culture.
Guest:It's so nice up there.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It wasn't my dad.
Guest:My dad literally told me when he drove across the floating bridge because he was on his way to Weyerhaeuser where he worked for a couple of years because he had just come from Rome.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And he said, I said out loud to myself in the car, the fun part of my life is over.
Right.
Guest:I'm just like oh my poor dad he had three boys he couldn't afford we couldn't he couldn't they couldn't afford British or English schools in Rome so they had to come back to the States he had no job leads and they ended up in Seattle.
Marc:Shit if you had done that you would have known Italian.
Marc:See.
Marc:You would have learned.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You would have had no choice.
Marc:Damn it.
Marc:But to learn or else be like thought to have a learning disability.
Guest:Yeah I would have yeah I would have learned it before I yeah I could have dang it see this is why I resent.
Marc:And none of your brothers speak Italian either?
Guest:No, none of us.
Guest:My little brother lived there for a year, and so he can get around.
Guest:What do your brothers do?
Guest:My younger brother is an Episcopal priest in the Bay Area with his wife, who's a Lutheran minister, so very- Passive aggressive.
Guest:Holy.
Guest:Tolerant.
Guest:Quiet.
Guest:Quiet.
Guest:No, he doesn't like it.
Guest:He actually is the opposite of that.
Guest:And then my older brother works for a green garbage company, a brand new green garbage company in Seattle.
Guest:That's interesting.
Guest:They will slowly dominate, hopefully.
Guest:He works for them or it's his company?
Guest:No, he works for them.
Marc:What's a green garbage company?
Guest:I don't know, but they are apparently revolutionary.
Marc:They only pick up stuff that's decomposed.
Guest:They will only pick up, well, apparently the separation thing is way better and they can recycle much faster.
Marc:Oh, so they're looking for a state contract.
Marc:They already got it.
Marc:Oh, they did?
Guest:They're all of Seattle, I think.
Marc:Really?
Marc:That's big.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So your brother's in garbage and your other brother's in God.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:God and garbage.
Marc:And comedy.
Marc:And you're in the middle.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It all makes sense.
Marc:God, garbage, and comedy.
Marc:Those are the three levels.
Marc:See?
Marc:That's the trinity.
Guest:My parents were like- You're helping.
Guest:See, my parents were just like, what?
Guest:We, boy, this is- How'd this happen?
Marc:Did you grow up with religion?
Marc:How'd that kid find religion?
Guest:We all were raised Catholic.
Guest:For reals?
Guest:For reals, for reals.
Guest:Like, scared of hell?
Marc:Look out?
Marc:Be good?
Marc:Go talk to the priest?
Marc:I don't know how to handle this?
Guest:No, it's Seattle, so it's a lot more- Seattle Catholics.
Marc:It's a lot more liberal.
Marc:Sure.
Guest:And a little, yeah, but there was still no, there was a lot of guilt all the way around.
Guest:But no priests-
Guest:uh no i have what do you mean well yeah on any level uh no inappropriate priestness was there any no was there confession uh i went to confession i got uh confirmed and i was uh you know uh first communion all that stuff and i went to catholic school that's where i met mankini from uh the soup the guy that uh wears the bikini top we met in fifth grade in mrs busey's class really yeah uh so did you bring him down here
Guest:He was down here with his girlfriend, and when The Soup started, they said, who are you going to hire as your writers?
Guest:And I knew he was one of the funniest people I knew, and he was always a writer, but he was fixing computers.
Guest:He can fix computers in a college library.
Marc:But The Soup existed before you, just they took the name off.
Guest:TalkSoup.
Guest:It was canceled in 2001 or 2000, and then when they brought it back, they brought it back as something totally... They said, we do not want...
Guest:Talk soup about reality shows.
Guest:That's what they told me in the room.
Guest:I'm like, great.
Guest:So it was exactly the same format with a different name.
Guest:A new president came in, changed the name to The Soup.
Guest:It was called the What The Awards at first.
Guest:The What The Awards?
Guest:It was supposed to be the What The Hell Awards or the What The Fuck Awards, but we couldn't say that.
Guest:So I didn't pick that title.
Guest:It was a terrible title because people go like, huh, the what?
Guest:And I'm like, exactly.
Guest:And so they changed The Soup and that's how it all came together.
Marc:So Catholics, and then your brother becomes... What were you raised?
Marc:Jew.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Marc:Some people say Jewish.
Marc:I grew up in... I have a little self-hatred, so when people go, how were you brought up?
Marc:I go, Jew.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:Like that, yeah.
Marc:And then they were like, Jewish?
Marc:No, Jew.
Marc:I wasn't brought up religiously, really.
Marc:So I'm just a Jew.
Marc:I'm not that Jewish.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Does that make sense?
Guest:Have you been to synagogue or temple?
Marc:Of course.
Marc:I was bar mitzvahed.
Marc:I did all that.
Marc:Did all that?
Marc:Yeah, so I'm in.
Marc:I mean, theoretically, I'm a card-carrying Jew.
Guest:You just resent them.
Marc:No, I mean, whatever.
Marc:Not really.
Marc:You're just not into it.
Marc:I'm culturally... I'm a Jew.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:John Waters, because he's told a story, but when he finishes an email, he signs it in a capital JW, but it will autocorrect...
Guest:To Jew.
Guest:To Jew.
Guest:So he just leaves.
Guest:And he says, well, he does, he says he sends, push sends so quick that sometimes he forgets.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But it's in capital letters.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So at the end, so you have some email, it's just the end, he just goes, Jew!
Marc:Like someone's yelling, he's like, what the hell?
Marc:Why is he yelling Jew at me?
Guest:so all right so you do that you do the the show sketch comedy show seattle and then i said i know i i need to get uh formally trained as an actor because i didn't feel like uh i was just winging it but you were funny so that's what you said yeah that was funny and it was yeah i mean to get that job was i believe me i was and i had been doing a lot of theater and a lot of improvising uh all through that this place called unexpected productions and in seattle and a ton of plays and
Guest:But I and then I got on this The Almost Live show, which paid was paid.
Guest:It was on TV.
Guest:I was like, oh, this is awesome.
Guest:And but I knew that if I stayed in Seattle, that I would never I would never know if I had to try.
Guest:I had to go to L.A.
Guest:or New York and try it, because if I didn't, then then I would always regret it or I'd be doing.
Guest:I eventually could, like in Seattle, if I stayed, I assume I would end up in doing weather and traffic or sports or something.
Marc:On a news show.
Guest:On a news show or something.
Guest:So I was like, I got to go down there and try.
Guest:But I decided to go to graduate school first.
Marc:Well, that's interesting that you knew you had the look and the delivery and that you had a good voice for it.
Marc:So you actually thought at some point in time I could be a local news anchor.
Marc:I was like, or do weather.
Marc:Weather, because you can be kind of funny.
Guest:Because I'm attracted to green screens.
Marc:Yeah, and you can point.
Marc:You know how to point.
Guest:You can point to things.
Guest:And you can be funny.
Guest:Hit a button at the same time.
Guest:So you thought about weather?
Guest:Weather and traffic.
Guest:But I wasn't as interested in sports as I could have been, so I thought, man, I'll probably blow it when I'm doing play-by-play.
Marc:But that's a weird moment where you live in a town.
Guest:Here comes Billie Jean King coming down the court.
Guest:Oh, you screwed it up.
Guest:But yeah, I kind of thought, I have to go out and try it, and I have to.
Guest:And then I went to graduate school, so...
Marc:But it's weird, though, because like, you know, I've been at that point where like what's holding you back is really like, OK, I know I can be on camera now and I might not want to move.
Marc:So what are my options here in Seattle to be on television?
Marc:Right.
Marc:And that was it.
Marc:I'd be a weatherman.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Or have like a career in broadcasting.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I knew I never wanted to just read the news.
Guest:I was offered a job in Portland on an evening magazine show right out of school.
Marc:Oh, God, if you had done that.
Guest:It paid so much money.
Guest:I mean, it was like a ton of money.
Guest:And I was just like, but then Almost Live offered me a job.
Guest:And I was like, I can take that.
Marc:And do you realize that that juncture in your career is what determined who you are now?
Marc:Because if you would have went with the Portland magazine show,
Marc:you might still be up there i i very well could be and you'd be like a fixture on portland television yeah i'd be uh you'd be interviewing local florists yeah i'd have good blazer tickets yeah like really good seats the new restaurant you'd be in the studio with your female co-host tasting sandwiches that's what you'd be doing see but this is kind of like the people of italy and france you don't have to work as hard no i get that i'm kidding no they work the people of portland work very hard
Guest:no no i no i but it was that moment where i i did yes my and my dad and my mom both but like yeah it's a lot of money but it is not what you want to do they said that yeah and uh and they were behind you they're like go go gamble with everything go to la practical as my mom and dad are they are they always thought they they was like yeah you should you gotta try it and uh you gotta you gotta and my dad was always like gotta have a backup plan yeah and uh
Guest:and i was always like i'll be a race car driver uh but uh but yeah they they that was a moment i i've never talked about that but that was a moment where uh yeah i i said okay i'm gonna do and it paid almost like paid nothing but it was doing sketch comedy and writing sketch comedy and and uh and once and i knew that yeah and i then after that i was like okay i i as you as you said i i had to try it down here that's fucking amazing because like you could have done that shit
Marc:Like, you know, cause I see those cats and I, you know, no disrespect to local media personalities, but there is that moment where you do a local morning show or something and you see this host and like, yeah, I used to do comedy.
Marc:Like, hold on, we're coming back in three.
Marc:Hey, what about Portland food?
Marc:And then you're there.
Marc:There's nothing wrong with it.
Marc:It's a gig.
Marc:But I mean, compared to what you're doing now, being part of like, you know, a brilliant sort of groundbreaking television show.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So you come down, you get.
Guest:I go to graduate school.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I had to make a decision between.
Guest:I got no.
Guest:Well, New York is much friendlier to actors in that we do a little showcase.
Guest:And I got a lot of like agents.
Guest:You went to New York.
Guest:I went to New York just to do my little showcase with the graduates.
Guest:What was your showcase?
Guest:Uh, I, and well, it's a bunch of scenes.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:What'd you do?
Guest:Uh, I did a scene from, uh, uh, uh, David Mamet.
Guest:It was like a bad idea.
Guest:And then I did a sketch.
Guest:I did a, uh, kids in the hall sketch, which, uh, I ultimately really helped me because no, no one else was doing comedy really.
Guest:Except for one other sketch.
Marc:Which Mamet?
Marc:Glengarry Glen Ross or the other one?
Marc:Something in Chicago?
Guest:No, no.
Guest:Oh, excuse me.
Guest:It was a play called Jack and Jill.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:By, I can't remember his name.
Marc:Just a monologue, right?
Marc:You got the monologue?
Guest:No, it was a scene between a gal and a guy.
Guest:Oh, you had to do scenes?
Guest:It was just, yeah.
Guest:That was the problem with the entire showcase.
Guest:Every gal and guy wanted to be seen.
Guest:Everyone in the school wanted to be seen as the romantic guy.
Guest:Right, romantically.
Guest:Every scene was two, well, man and woman yelling at each other.
Guest:Nice.
Guest:And then, like, falling in love and taking their shirts off.
Marc:No one did Virginia Woolf, though.
Guest:See, that's what you should do.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Or do, like, yeah, that would be good.
Guest:Or do, like, Night Mother.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:When the girls are about to commit suicide.
Guest:I remember seeing one showcase where they pulled out guns, but they were both starter pistols.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And they shot each other on stage.
Yeah.
Guest:And I was just like, what?
Guest:Oh, this is, it was really, yeah, but so then I came to LA with zero, I couldn't get an agent, so.
Marc:You couldn't get an agent at the showcase.
Guest:I had a friend who was a manager from high school that we had made a television show in high school together.
Guest:And, uh, and so he took me on to like his, his client and, um, and I could not get an agent.
Guest:And then I, I got a part on Will and Grace because they were looking for people that were six, seven and taller.
Guest:that was it and i lied and i bought healed boots uh like i went to a motor i went i think with like a sketchers outlet on van nuys boulevard and give yourself what three inches yeah and i wore and um and i got this small role and i still know sean hayes because of that role right uh
Guest:And then I got an agent out of that.
Guest:And then the agent dropped me after like six months because I hadn't booked anything else.
Guest:And he's like, that's it.
Guest:And he literally told my manager that he he was like, Joel can come.
Guest:Joel will be ready for this agency in about four years.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like, why don't you work on him?
Guest:Have him come back in four years.
Guest:And it was like, he'll be big enough for this agency then.
Guest:And then I then I got a commercial agent.
Guest:And yeah.
Guest:And for a while, I couldn't get a regular agent.
Guest:So I just did you do commercials?
Guest:That's all I did.
Guest:Yeah, I did like a zillion commercial.
Marc:And you made money.
Guest:Yeah, I ended up making really good money and becoming solvent.
Guest:And it was great.
Marc:And see, that's the other thing that you got lucky with, because you could have been that guy still.
Guest:Yes, I still have a lot of friends that work only in commercials.
Marc:Yeah, oh no, there's a lot of guys, as long as you stay that type.
Marc:I mean, usually you have to be kind of like a regular guy.
Guest:Yeah, the roles for 30-something white guys are abundant in commercials.
Marc:Yeah, and the only way you tap out on that is you get too old, but it's really sort of like, you're probably a little too attractive for commercials in the big picture.
Guest:Yeah, sure, I'm not flirting with you, I'm just... No, and I did this big, like, Burger King campaign right before the soup, and that really, that actually got, like, a couple casting directors called me in off that.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Of all things.
Marc:And you were funny on it, and...
Guest:They were good.
Guest:They're all based, it was before the American office had premiered.
Guest:The director was half British and based it all on that.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:There was a couple commercials where we never mentioned or showed the sandwich.
Guest:So they were really good commercials.
Guest:They were good for a reel.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And that wasn't all about you eating hamburgers.
Guest:The days that I spent going to an editing house, editing my reel together and sending it out and all that.
Marc:Horrendous.
Marc:I think I did a reel.
Marc:I made a reel once.
Marc:I don't think it ever got sent out.
Marc:I think I got a box of VHS tapes.
Marc:I had two scenes in a movie.
Guest:But you have the skill where you at that point could just walk on stage and you could.
Marc:Yeah, I know, but it's very specific.
Marc:I mean, no one's like, you know, like he'd be perfect for a show.
Marc:They're sort of like they got to pigeonhole me into some angry neurotic thing.
Marc:So it's very specific.
Marc:It's not a general talent that I have.
Marc:It's not adaptable.
Marc:They're not like, he'd be a good dad.
Guest:Under that argument, why don't every angry neurotic person in America have their own shows?
Marc:No, no, I get that.
Marc:I'm saying, well, that's a good point, because usually they're not thought of as TV fodder.
Marc:They're freaks.
Marc:I'm a freak, and I understand that.
Guest:Well, look at Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:Well, look how he had to do it.
Marc:He had to eventually align himself with Jerry Seinfeld, who respected him.
Marc:But Larry David, as a comic, no one was watching him going, we got to have this guy.
Marc:That's true.
Marc:I guess he figured out a way.
Marc:On Fridays, he was on Fridays.
Marc:Well, that's interesting to me.
Guest:My wife supported me when I got here.
Guest:And I gave her a five-year, we said five years.
Guest:If nothing's happening.
Marc:In five years, you'll be able to just paint.
Guest:She can just paint.
Guest:But I was thinking five years.
Marc:I was like, I've got to give me that much, and if in five years nothing's happening, then we can go back to Seattle and I'll do... But that's weird, though, that the guy from Britain knew the office, but America didn't know the office, and he was basing these commercials on the British office, which was not... There was no American office.
Marc:It was probably kind of a hit here with a certain type of person.
Guest:Yeah, I remember buying the DVDs.
Marc:So the look was...
Guest:It was unique.
Guest:And actually a lot of commercial synths then have followed that look, followed what he created, which Ricky Gervais ultimately created.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But to not have things look flashy and to use just regular light and to all be handheld.
Guest:So you got the soup.
Guest:Then I got the suit because it was one of many auditions and and it was still it really didn't know what it was.
Guest:And there was time like, well, it's going to be like pop up video kind of or they didn't know.
Guest:And they brought it took like six months to get the job and not because it was a huge search, but just because they were.
Marc:Didn't know what they wanted to do.
Guest:Yeah, and finally we were just like, all right.
Guest:And then I shot a pilot presentation, so it was five minutes.
Guest:And then they saw how cheap the show was to make.
Guest:And they were like, great.
Marc:This guy's funny, and we can make it for a nickel.
Guest:Yeah, there was four of us.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I think I made...
Guest:800 bucks that week or something it was like i mean obviously that's good money but uh in the the scheme of television it is not great uh but uh uh but um but then we we began we are on friday nights at 10 which was at that point on e was a desert and uh we slowly but surely uh it's slow and what was other great i can't read teleprompter very well so it gave me like a year when no one was watching
Guest:for me to just fuck it up for a year.
Marc:It's a tricky skill.
Guest:Yeah, if you watch The Soup now, there'll be some times where I'm like, that guy didn't know what he was reading.
Guest:Because the other problem is that sometimes we're all so far behind and try to get it out, but I just run out there and start talking.
Guest:That's why when I see like, I'll watch like, like when I go on, like I just went on Kimmel and I just went on Fallon and those guys just,
Guest:They're freaking pros, man.
Guest:Same thing, like when I see Seacrest on Idol, and it's a live broadcast, and there's 20 million people watching, and he's just... And they're using cards, right?
Marc:He's using a prompter.
Marc:But Kimmel and Fallon.
Guest:Kimmel and all these other guys use cards.
Marc:Yeah, it's weird.
Marc:I don't know why they choose to do that.
Marc:I think that prompter is a different kind of camera, and I know they can just put them on, but there's some weird tradition of cards.
Marc:Cards seem difficult to me.
Guest:And it seems you have to write them very quickly.
Marc:Yeah, and it just seems like to look at them and then up at the camera to have that, it's old-timey.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But a lot of guys still do it.
Marc:Conan still does it.
Guest:Yeah, Conan, Fallon, Kimmel.
Guest:Yeah, Leno and Letterman all do it.
Marc:Leno uses cards, too.
Guest:And Ferguson does, too.
Guest:Does he?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I can't remember.
Guest:I guess I'll believe you.
Guest:Yeah, he's, yeah.
Guest:That guy can improvise.
Marc:Well, so that broke you and you got popular.
Guest:And I really, and I've said this in a lot of years, but I seen Kinnear and seeing what, like Aisha Tyler coming out of, but Kinnear getting into the movie.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Aisha too.
Guest:And seeing those guys, like it was like, so that's what they, the pedigree was there to do other things.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Yeah, the soup had a, it kind of had a name.
Guest:Yeah, and so that's when I started finally getting the auditions for pilots, like leads in pilots that I always wanted.
Guest:And then, thank God, Steven Soderbergh watched it because then he hired me to be in his movie, so that really helped.
Marc:Which movie?
Guest:The Informant.
Guest:oh yeah yeah you had that nice part in there that was really that was like that I would have paid to be in it it was so much fun so I like that movie yeah it's a good movie yeah and they like Tom Papa in that movie is so good in it and uh obviously Matt Damon's performance it just shows you like that guy can
Marc:Oh, he's great.
Marc:Do anything.
Marc:I mean, he's really the best of that.
Marc:He's a great actor.
Marc:I'll tell Mark Wahlberg you said that.
Marc:Would you?
Marc:Please.
Marc:So really the dream then is film acting for the most part.
Guest:Well, no, my dream was to be on a great show.
Guest:I swear to you.
Guest:Because I think television is as powerful as the movies.
Guest:or more powerful a lot of time.
Marc:It's something people, I think, have a deeper relationship with.
Marc:Yeah, it's in their home.
Marc:Movie is like mythic.
Marc:TV is like, hey, there's that guy.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:He's there again this week.
Guest:And I never had it, but people will walk up to you.
Guest:I'm sure you get it, but people walk up and feel that they already know you.
Marc:Well, they do know me, unfortunately.
Marc:Because you just walk around your neighborhood.
Marc:No, because I blather on about everything.
Marc:And the people that choose to listen to the first 10 minutes have a good sense of who I am.
Marc:But Community is now like this.
Marc:I mean, it's really a brilliant show.
Marc:And it's got an incredible pace to it.
Marc:The writing is insane.
Marc:You never know what's going to happen.
Marc:The cast is an amazing machine.
Marc:The guy behind it is a genius.
Marc:and uh and and you're on it and you you carry yourself very well it's great character you're funny you're fucking hilarious but like i have to assume that i don't know what happened chevy chase i don't know with the voicemail yeah i mean that was i mean i obviously dan copped to it and he said he couldn't yeah apparently he couldn't help himself he had to play that voice who wouldn't have played that voicemail did they i don't know who recorded him playing the voicemail for everybody did they know
Guest:Well, on the first one, Dan played that at his Harmontown.
Marc:Right.
Guest:But then the second one, I don't know where that was recorded.
Marc:Isn't it weird?
Guest:Because Dan didn't put it out there.
Marc:That we live in a world where that just happens.
Marc:Can't trust anybody in the organization.
Guest:I'm afraid to type emails.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Like texts sometimes.
Marc:There's just this hungry, angry, parasitical culture that's just dying to dump shit into the TMZ world.
Guest:i always now just end every email and voicemail with like i'm gonna murder you and rob you just so just get it out and just like all right that's just right right he said it at the end so if it happens well he said at the end of everyone yeah yeah so this was not a specific yeah that was yeah that whole thing was kind of great i mean i've joked around that you know we you know chevy doesn't know how to operate voicemail so it's impossible so uh but i mean are these things comfortable on the set i mean everything all right or what uh
Marc:Or you guys have been done for a while.
Guest:We've been done for a while.
Guest:I mean, Chevy and I, we text every other day or something.
Marc:Do you?
Guest:We just text Onion headlines back and forth to each other.
Guest:So you guys are okay?
Guest:Yeah, we're good.
Guest:I mean, he can get it.
Guest:I know that sometimes he doesn't.
Guest:As you heard in that one voice, man, I mean, it's like he doesn't like the writing, then he loves the writing.
Marc:No, he's known to be a difficult person.
Marc:It's no surprise.
Marc:And you were at the... Yeah, that was a horrible night, that roast.
Marc:The infamous roast.
Marc:You know, I mean, I think that... I don't think that people really remember just how big he was.
Guest:He was the biggest... He was bigger than Eddie Murphy.
Guest:Biggest comedy star.
Marc:And those movies, some of them were great.
Marc:I mean, if you like the slapstick of Chevy Chase, I mean, I loved him.
Marc:I mean, I really did.
Marc:When I was a kid, I loved him.
Marc:I loved watching him in the movies.
Guest:If you look at his... I mean, you look at what he did in Caddyshack.
Guest:Sure.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:It's great.
Guest:It's great.
Marc:It's great.
Marc:Or Foul Play or Just Like Old Times.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Any of those.
Guest:Fletch.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Fletch and the vacation stuff.
Marc:He had great physical timing.
Marc:I mean, Swapstick is not easy.
Marc:It's just not easy.
Guest:No.
Guest:And he always talks about comedy being physical.
Marc:Well, it's just weird to see him in such a straightish role and how it's sort of a weird...
Marc:kind of bumbling role for him yeah and that like i don't know that he you know has the the sort of physical resources he once had in terms of timing and everything else because i mean that's what he was i mean i still love watching him on saturday night live but i think as people get older uh it's it's difficult to maintain the timing that you want well and it's physically uh daunting hurry you yeah i mean he in snl fell off a flight i think it was a flight of stairs or a ladder
Guest:Yeah, he was peeing blood.
Marc:I mean, the guy had... He did his time.
Marc:He sacrificed of himself.
Guest:Yeah, and he's... Yeah, so I assume he's coming back if we get the pickup.
Marc:What are they going to do?
Marc:They can't fuck with it that much, can they?
Marc:I don't ever plan on anything.
Marc:But let's play it like this is like after the pickup.
Guest:Oh, can you believe it?
Guest:They picked it up for 57 episodes.
Marc:And Chevy's back.
Guest:They're putting it on during NFL football.
Guest:It's the halftime show of NFL football.
Marc:Everyone thought Chevy wasn't going to be part of it, and he is.
Marc:He's grown hair back, and he's lost 40 pounds.
Marc:Amazing.
Marc:Now let's do the other one.
Marc:Well, you know, after all that stuff with Harmon and the voicemails, I mean, it's kind of understandable that Chevy wasn't going to do it again.
Marc:Can't believe it.
Guest:I just can't believe the group suicide.
Guest:Great episode, though.
Guest:Oh, my gosh.
Guest:Talk about ending a series.
Guest:Holy crap.
Marc:But everyone, like, who's the one girl in all kinds of movies?
Guest:Allison.
Guest:Good actress.
Guest:Very good.
Guest:And really, really funny and not that bad looking.
Guest:I mean, she's beautiful.
Guest:And Gillian.
Marc:And you do a lot of stuff with her on the show.
Marc:I mean, you guys.
Guest:Yeah, our characters are always, there's always like, will they?
Guest:But her character's 19.
Guest:And so my character's like 38.
Guest:That makes sense.
Guest:And I like that whenever it gets to a point where like, it's going to end up like, this is creepy.
Guest:And the best is like on the internet.
Guest:They're like, this should happen.
Guest:They're meant to be together.
Guest:Like, you're disgusting.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But then Gillian.
Guest:It's good that you're reading those comments.
Guest:Oh, I spend all my time.
Guest:Well, what I do is I print them out and then I put them up.
Guest:On the wall.
Guest:I bring friends in.
Guest:I was like, so which one of these do you think?
Marc:It really captures me because I'm a little insecure and I'm going to go with the really horrible ones, but maybe you could talk me out of that.
Guest:This person said something bad about me, so I'm just going to ram my head under the wall here.
Guest:No, but then Gillian, when she got the role, she was Juilliard and all these independent movies, and she was always playing prostitutes and runaways and rape victims.
Guest:And she came in.
Guest:It was really that moment, because I was auditioning with all the people.
Guest:It was really that crazy moment where you're like, oh, she's exactly, she's it.
Guest:And now her comedic timing is incredible.
Guest:Not now, it always was.
Guest:Yeah, she's fucking amazing.
Guest:And also not bad looking.
Marc:So what is the greatest moments in terms of just the feeling of comedy being generated between all those people?
Marc:I mean, when you're working on that set,
Marc:I mean, I have to assume you're dealing at this sort of manic pace of Harmon and his brain and sort of troubleshooting everything.
Marc:But I mean, is it satisfying while you're doing it?
Marc:Do you watch the episodes generally?
Guest:Oh yeah, I watch.
Guest:I'm not that guy.
Marc:I can't watch my work for seven years.
Guest:Uh, but I do sit and quietly judge myself constantly.
Guest:But, uh, but no, when we're on set, it does, it does take a long time to make the episodes because we shoot it like a movie.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And, uh, it's not shot handheld.
Guest:There's no confessionals.
Guest:There's no, it's not shot how a lot of comedies are shot today.
Guest:So it takes a long time.
Guest:It's very cinematic.
Guest:The lighting takes a long time.
Marc:It's meticulous.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:So that, and that was on purpose.
Guest:So it would look different from everything.
Guest:So in that sense, it took, it takes a long time, but the satisfaction of seeing, especially like, like just this year with the Glee episode of the remedial chaos theory, seeing those, I'm just like, oh, well that is something that I'm very proud of.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:I didn't see my kids grow up, but.
Marc:But you know, you got to make sacrifices.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Big deal.
Guest:But no, there's been, yeah, there's been, and then, yeah, there's been moments that are, you know, I'm just so glad that I got to be a part of it.
Guest:You got movies coming up?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Why didn't you ask me about that?
Guest:On this, yeah, that's coming out this summer.
Guest:What?
Guest:It's called Ted.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Why are you saying that like I should?
Guest:With Mark Wahlberg.
Guest:That's because I could talk to him for you.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:So why did you say that like I should know that?
Marc:Did I not prepare properly?
Marc:Is that what you're saying?
Marc:Would you like to have gone to a different way?
Guest:I just felt like you are more concerned about like, are we going to knock this wall down?
Guest:Are they going to get all that stuff out of my backyard?
Guest:I just, yeah.
Marc:How am I going to talk to Joel for an hour?
Marc:This tube of Nicorette that I have.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So you have a movie coming out and I should know about it.
Marc:No, you shouldn't know.
Marc:It was in July.
Marc:Wait.
Guest:No, it really is in July.
Guest:It's called Ted.
Guest:I'm one of the villains.
Guest:Me and Giovanni Ribisi are the villains.
Guest:Oh, and you already shot it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:What's he like?
Guest:My villainous part is separate from his.
Guest:You didn't hang out with him?
Guest:No.
Guest:We've seen each other a few times.
Guest:All my scenes were with Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg.
Guest:So you didn't hang out with Gio?
Guest:No.
Marc:He's an intense guy.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I think he's a good actor.
Guest:Very good actor.
Guest:I remember seeing him in the X-Files like 12 or 13 years ago with this kid that could, he could kill people.
Guest:And I was like, who is this guy?
Guest:He's incredible.
Marc:He was in that one, what was that, that, fuck.
Marc:Cate Blanchett, it was like she played a medium of some kind in a small town.
Marc:It was done by that great director.
Marc:And he played, his father had sexually abused him.
Marc:And he ends up setting his father on fire.
Marc:And it was directed by that.
Marc:Road Trip.
Marc:No.
Marc:That's it.
Marc:That's going to bother me.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Because the director was that great director.
Marc:Who did what?
Marc:Who did all the great scary movies.
Marc:Like Misery?
Marc:No, no, no.
Marc:Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Marc:Hold on.
Guest:At no point did I say I'm not holding on.
Marc:How do you spell his name?
Marc:Rabisi.
Marc:Rabisi.
Guest:Giovanni.
Guest:Yeah, it's not going to happen.
Guest:It's going to correct itself.
Marc:All right, go to here.
Guest:Go to Avatar.
Guest:Go type in the movie Avatar.
Guest:He's on that cast.
Marc:Click through him.
Marc:Wait, I'm going to do it the hard way.
Marc:Giovanni.
Marc:Oh, boy.
Guest:When you type in Giovanni, what's the first last name that comes up?
Marc:It's not his.
Marc:Ah, there it is.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:So now we're going somewhere.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So we go to IMDb or no?
Marc:Yeah?
Marc:Yeah, sure.
Marc:IMDb.
Marc:Okay, so we'll go to IMDb.
Marc:We're moving down.
Marc:We're moving down.
Marc:Actor, actor, actor, actor.
Marc:Kate Planchette?
Marc:Yeah, I'm going to find it, dude.
Marc:I'm going to find it.
Marc:Not My Name Is Earl.
Marc:It was before that.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:He's done so much.
Marc:The Gift.
Marc:Ah!
Marc:The Gift.
Marc:No?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:The Gift.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Sam Raimi.
Marc:I knew it.
Marc:I knew nothing.
Marc:I had one actor and one scene in my head.
Marc:I knew absolutely nothing.
Marc:Sam Raimi.
Marc:He's great.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:The writers were Billy Bob Thornton and Tom Emerson.
Marc:Oh.
Marc:It's a weird movie, dude.
Marc:And there's a British- Greg Kinnear's in it.
Marc:Ah.
Marc:That doesn't make it weirder.
Marc:No.
Marc:All right.
Marc:But he plays a pretty dark character.
Guest:Who's the actress here?
Marc:Keanu Reeves is in it.
Marc:Cate Blanchett.
Marc:Cate Blanchett.
Marc:But there's a British- Holmes.
Marc:Katie Holmes is in it.
Guest:No, British is... Kate Winslet is British.
Guest:No, she's Australian.
Guest:Whatever, man.
Guest:Kate Winslet is British.
Marc:Okay, you know.
Marc:Did we solve anything here?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:All right.
Guest:Thanks, Joel.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:Thanks for listening.
Guest:You feel good about it?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Was it as... On the scale of... On the spectrum of podcasts, how would you rank it?
Guest:We should talk about this off.
Marc:Shit.
Marc:Let me just turn it off.
Marc:Okay, that's our show.
Marc:I'm still enjoying Hawaii, but in reality, leaving tomorrow.
Marc:And I've been looking for something to read in my house here.
Marc:Wasn't Joe McHale great?
Marc:Seriously, how about give it up for him.
Marc:Sorry.
Marc:You know, it's weird.
Marc:The dynamic changes.
Marc:Ryan Singer has come over and he's in my garage since you since I started the show.
Marc:Ryan has come over and he's here.
Marc:And now, of course, I'm playing to him.
Marc:And I'm trying to figure out a book to read out of the thousands of books I have in here.
Marc:And he goes, oh, dude, you know what you got to read?
Marc:I didn't even know that I had this book.
Marc:He goes, oh, I know what you should read.
Marc:The Power of Now.
Marc:I'm like, I don't have it.
Marc:He goes, yeah, you do.
Guest:That's a perfect book.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:Yeah, because you're on vacation, you're disconnecting, you're trying to be in the moment, get out of your head.
Guest:That's why the power of now is perfect.
Marc:Okay, all right, but it's okay, so let's speculate.
Marc:Now, let's say I take this with me, because right now, as people are listening to this, I'm actually on the last day of my vacation.
Marc:But we have both sides now.
Marc:Like, now I'm leaving tomorrow, and okay, let's speculate.
Marc:What am I going to be like?
Marc:Like, OK, Mark, I'm in Hawaii and I've just I finished the power now and I'm flying home tomorrow.
Marc:What what what can I look?
Guest:What am I going to be like?
Guest:Oh, you're going to be you're going to feel so alive.
Guest:It's going to be great.
Guest:Well, it all depends on when you read the book, too.
Guest:Like if you read the book at the beginning or the end of the of the trip, because if you read it at the beginning of the trip, then you're going to really experience and enjoy the whole trip.
Guest:And if you read it at the end, it's going to be a way to cleanse all the neurotic stuff that you kind of put yourself through.
Marc:So it's like a colonic for my brain?
Marc:Yeah, kind of like that.
Guest:But wouldn't I be on the plane just going... No, I think you might even be able to take a nap on the plane instead of tweeting.
Guest:Or being afraid.
Guest:Or trying to fly the plane, as you say.
Marc:Okay, all right, all right.
Marc:So maybe I'll bring it, but let me just say...
Marc:Thank you for listening.
Marc:Go to WTFPod.com for all you WTFPod needs.
Marc:Get a little of the... Wait for it.
Marc:Pow!
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:I just shit my brain because I've read The Power of Now.
Marc:The water is so clear down here.
Marc:JustCoffee.coop.
Marc:WTFPod.com.
Marc:I mentioned that.
Marc:Get on the mailing list.
Marc:Get the app.
Marc:Get the Mark and Tom show.
Marc:Get a handle on who's been on the show.
Marc:Did I say get on the mailing list?
Marc:Kick in a few shekels.
Marc:Enjoy.
Marc:Leave a comment if you're not a dick.
Marc:If you're a dick and you have to leave a comment, do what you got to do.
Marc:But just know that I'm not going to engage with it.
Marc:Oh, and yeah, I don't know who gave me that patch.
Marc:Be optimistic.
Marc:I was thinking about putting it on my jean jacket.
Marc:We'll talk to you later.
Marc:I hope I make it home from Hawaii, or this is going to be the saddest episode of WTF that's ever been played.
Marc:I don't even want to think about that.
Marc:I took the power of... Of the future.
Marc:Yeah, which I have no business.
Guest:Nothing good happens there.
Marc:Nothing good.
Marc:Nothing good happens there.
Marc:Except when I'm a celebrated king of the sea turtles.