Episode 268 - Jon Glaser
Are we doing this?
Really?
Wait for it.
Are we doing this?
Wait for it.
Pow!
What the fuck?
And it's also, eh, what the fuck?
What's wrong with me?
It's time for WTF!
What the fuck?
With Mark Maron.
Thank you.
I had a
a very profoundly existential modern moment when I was sitting at my computer on Twitter for probably hour number two of just compulsively looking at tweets and tweeting.
And I had a moment where I thought, and this was a deep dark moment where I thought, man, I don't think I have any more tweets in me.
I think I'm tweet tapped.
I'm done.
I've done all the tweeting I can do.
And it was a sad moment.
I felt empty and alone in a very profound way.
and it was ridiculous just fucking ridiculous that that was a real moment i had i i just i'm i'm depleted of tweets before i forget to do this which i i do often i will be in denver at the comedy works april 6 and 7 that's tomorrow and saturday come down go to wtfpod.com to check my schedule in a general way or find out details about that show
uh okay i did that on the show today the wonderful john glazer the insanely funny john glazer from the show uh the adult swim show delocated and many other things i've known john a long time but uh before i get to that
Before I get to John, I was reading this article that gave me hope but also gave me some sadness.
It was in the New York Times, I believe.
Of course, someone sent me the link.
He actually wrote in the link that I'm sure everyone has sent you this article.
It's called, Where Have All the Neurotics Gone?,
by a guy named Benedict Carey.
And he's talking about something I've sort of wondered about, is that, especially in comedy, I've talked about this before, that there was a style of comedy that was very popular during the 70s and maybe the early 80s of the standard kind of the neurotic character.
And my belief was that most of the neurotics have been sort of shut down vis-a-vis medication, that the culture had become medicated, both semantically and literally.
And there was no patience for it anymore.
But this has a couple of different ideas about it.
One of the ideas in the piece was that because the DSM whatever, the psychiatric diagnostic manual, kind of broke neurotics into several different areas.
You got depressives, you got your anxiety people, you got your obsessive compulsive.
These are all components of the general neurotic.
So the neurotic became sort of hackneyed or sort of tired or it was taken out of use, the term neurotic.
And now it's used as sort of dismissive.
It's like, he's neurotic.
Well, it's a gift.
It's a fucking gift.
All right?
I'm defending the neurotic.
But he goes on.
There's a couple of quotes in here that I think it's interesting that as we lose the definition of the neurotic,
You know, for practical purposes, he says.
I'm still here.
Man, I wish I could use that in my press package.
In today's era, going back to the article, of exquisite confusion, political, economic, and otherwise, the neurotic would be a welcome guest.
Nervous company for nervous days.
Always ready to provide doses of that most potent vaccine against gloominess.
Wisecracking, urbane gloominess.
There you go.
I'm still here, man.
I'm still fighting the good fight.
I wave my neurotic flag high.
I'm not afraid of it.
But see, I never even thought I was neurotic.
See, I always thought I was being reasonable.
But then he goes on to quote this other dude.
And I don't know if this is really true, but I think it's interesting.
Quote, people of all ages today and most especially young people are awash in self-confession, not only in the reality show of pop culture, but in the increasingly public availability of almost every walking thought through Facebook, Twitter and other social media.
If chronic Facebook or Twitter posting is not an exercise in neurosis, then nothing is.
Man, what is happening?
Then he quotes this guy.
Let me keep reading.
Quote, I think some of the qualities we once attributed to neurotics have simply been normalized, unquote, said Peter N. Stearns, a historian at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia, and author of the forthcoming book, Satisfaction Not Guaranteed, Dilemmas of Progress in Modern Society.
That sounds like a book I should have and don't read.
Quote, I don't have hard evidence for this, but just look around and observe how we live.
We've become so accustomed to people with continual worries and fears that it's made the category obsolete.
The classic neurotic is still with us, all right, but with a lot more company and everyone trying to talk over one another.
Put it this way, these are ridiculous times, and if it all makes sense to you, there's probably something wrong, unquote.
So what is basically being said here, and I think it's a proud moment for me and all my listeners, is that neuroticism is the new normal.
So just understand that it hasn't gone mainstream because we're still marginalized by the positive thinkers, the fascists that think just by plowing ahead with blinders on and...
affirming that everything will be okay.
We'll just make everything okay.
And I'm using fascist in a sort of lighthearted way, if that's possible.
But it seems that the culture is insanely neurotic and we've learned to live in it and adapt to it, which by proxy makes all of us neurotic, or at least I think many of my ilk.
So I think there's a certain pride in that.
Neurotic has gone normal.
Congratulations, sensitive, depressed, anxious, worrying, panicked people who feel isolated from the pace of culture because there's a lot of people pretending out there to be okay.
Rest reassured, we are the people that live in reality.
You want to put those on or are you just going to eat?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you want to eat first?
Either way, if you'd like to... No, I think you should eat and talk.
Do it during?
Sure.
Yeah, that's fine with me.
Yeah.
There we go.
I want to make it clear to my audience that John Glazer's here in the garage having some sausage.
Let me try to paint the picture for you.
John Glazer's about to take his first bite of a chicken andouille sausage.
Is that how you pronounce that?
I'm not sure.
The New Orleans style sausage, A-N-D-O-U-L-L-E.
Is it andouille?
Andouille.
That's what you got there.
And I cooked that up for him because he didn't eat.
Here we go.
I was trying to be very respectful of being on time.
Yeah.
But I was disrespectful to my stomach.
I understand that.
And so you were like, you said, is there any way I could get some food?
And I gave you options and you're like, well, can I take a look?
And what were the options again?
I mentioned chicken.
The first option was we got cashews and there was something else.
Raisins.
Raisins.
Yeah.
Healthy.
Yep.
Healthy.
I saw a fruit bar.
Yeah.
And then you brought up the sausage and I was like, let's go.
Let's go.
That sounds pretty good.
No bread though.
Interesting.
I didn't want bread.
Why is that?
Why?
Why?
No, I eat them like that, too.
But I usually put some... I've eaten them like that.
I'm not judging you.
But, I mean, I thought you might be a sandwich guy.
If anyone wants to know and try to contain your excitement, John and I are in the middle of a photo shoot for Emmy magazine.
Yeah, it's pretty.
It's great.
This is probably... It conjures up that... What's that song?
Looks like we made it.
I had to ask the guy.
He's like, who gets this?
He says, well, there's members.
And I'm like, uh-huh.
It was also available at a couple of newsstands in LA and New York.
A couple.
I'd love to see someone reading it on a plane.
I think I've seen it at those newsstands that have 1,000 magazines where you walk up, you're like, I never had no idea there was this many magazines on the planet.
Yeah, it's that place.
Here we go.
First bite.
Okay, do it.
How is it?
Oh, God.
I forgot mustard.
Hold on.
How's that?
Whoa, right?
I'm not strong.
You said you wanted the horseradish because your nose was stuffed up.
I'm stuffed up.
Whoa.
Right?
Oh.
It's really spicy.
It's good, though.
I have several other kinds of mustard.
You going to be all right with that?
Or do I need to go get it?
It's delicious.
It is, right?
Beer and brat mustard.
Wow.
I have to say, as nice as these guys are, it's the most intrusive photo shoot I've ever been part of.
very subtle the guy yeah he's holding a light the size of a tire while the other guy's hiding behind him and the light makes a noise that light noise is really i mean i was pretty clear it's like we're doing a podcast you won't be uh you can just shoot around us yeah you wouldn't even notice he's holding you didn't say that i made that up no i made that up i would have been like i'm gonna be loud
Yeah, and talking, apparently.
Guys, this is my fucking moment.
You're ruining it for me.
But wait, this is Emmy Magazine.
You're right.
This is cutting both ways here.
Are you done?
Are you guys going to walk out?
Are we done?
Do you want to shake hands?
Thank you.
Whatever, please.
Thank you, guys.
Thank you very much.
Don't let my cat out.
Let me know where I can get the magazine.
Do I have to drive to get the magazine?
Do I have to go somewhere?
You can only pick it up at this place.
See, I'm being a dick, but it's just for comedy.
You did a great job.
Thank you.
Is there anything else?
I'll do it.
Thank you, guys.
Thanks, guys.
All right.
Take care.
Take care.
That was ridiculous.
Man, oh, man.
Get a light that doesn't make noise.
That light was ridiculous.
Yeah.
It's a huge light.
That was perfect.
Yeah.
They call it the old Jew light.
Yeah, if you listen closely, it was going... And then when you turn it off, it goes...
enough enough i know it's breath enough already i think it was uh john lee who's one of the guys that works on delocated had a funny joke of just when you say good night saying good night to your kids as you turn off the lights you go and scene i don't know if a kid will abide by that
Don't some kids go, Tal, put the light back on.
Yeah, but if you do, you say, no.
I said, and seen.
You seem like a good dad.
You have a good dad personality.
I think I should make it clear that you and I... That's a strong good dad vibe.
Yeah, but I don't have kids, and I'm a panicky Jew.
I don't know that... See, this is the weird thing with you.
We go back.
I remember you from before.
You know, you were always... Yeah, I mean, I think...
I don't know.
When did you get to New York?
You were around Luna, weren't you, a bit?
A little bit.
Towards the end?
I think towards the end.
And then all of a sudden you were everywhere.
It's like Glazer, Glazer, Glazer.
And you're always doing funny- Cream rises to the top, man.
I know what you're saying.
Can't help it.
And then you showed up at Conan.
And I always thought you were like, why is that guy mad at me?
Am I annoying him?
Why does he think he's better than me?
He barely talks that guy, but I'm getting a vibe from him.
Why is he mad at me?
Am I making that up?
Yeah, that's all made up.
It is?
No, I was never mad at you.
I had no reason.
I don't feel like we really knew each other that well in New York.
No, I was always intimidated.
That's what it was.
It was just all fear-based.
Yeah, go ahead, draw lines.
It's all fear-based and it's coming from you.
yeah this guy does funny things that i can't explain because he all the fun times we could have had hanging out i know didn't happen because you were too afraid yeah you hang out this guy mad at me right but you hang out john benjamin who is the most difficult person to hang out with in the world extremely challenging it is and i say that as a he's a very good friend yeah yeah very difficult him and sam cedar i could they should they should have each other forever benjamin and i did a ton of stuff together we just don't not because of anything personal just being busy
Yeah, and then we talked a little bit about that back in the kitchen.
There will be certain references since we had a photo shoot with Emmy Magazine and John needed some tea and a sausage.
We got halfway through a lot of stories in several rooms in my house.
Just make sure this is labeled as a special edition, like WTF, back in the kitchen.
Back in the kitchen.
We'll be referring back to that time we had when I was making the sausages.
I think that, yeah, the first time I saw you, my recollection was, you're always very funny, and I laugh no matter what.
You're a very naturally funny person.
You have a great physical timing.
We're all big fans here.
That's just me.
I've never referred to myself.
Plural like that.
Like, yeah, here at the garage, a lot of talk.
I'm almost done with my sausage.
This is a little rude, I think, even to the listener.
No, you know who else ate?
I'm saying this to make you feel good.
Chris Rock.
Chris Rock, yeah, he ate an entire meal when I interviewed him.
But I feel like I'm giving people... I'm giving a hard time for eating in front of people.
You're giving a hard time for that?
Yeah.
Matt Walsh and I got in a really kind of funny but also serious argument once.
We were driving somewhere, and it was morning.
I think we were going to play golf, and I just got up and just went to meet him, and I didn't have breakfast, so I got a bagel with some stuff on it.
He complained...
He was smoking, okay?
Mm-hmm.
So there's poison in the air.
Yeah.
And then he's complaining about the smell of my food and that it was rude.
How long ago was this?
Over 10 years ago.
You were playing golf?
See, that's the one thing that... See, I assume I know people.
I almost didn't want to say that because I knew...
No, I assume I know people, but now you're John Glazer, the guy who's not afraid to wear disco shorts, but will play a few rounds of golf.
I never thought I would play golf.
It seemed like just an asshole sport and all that.
It's so much fun.
Really?
I mean, Walsh, I can see playing golf.
What was he smoking?
A cigar?
Just a cigarette?
A cigarette.
This is in the car on the ride up.
Is he one of those guys that's sort of like golf day is man's day, I'm going to smoke a cigarette?
Yeah.
Because I don't see him as a smoker.
I don't remember him smoking.
I feel like he's pulled out a cigar on the golf course.
Yeah, I can see him golfing.
He seems to come from that.
But you seem like a sportsman.
You play basketball.
I played a lot of sports.
But yeah, I never played golf until like 12 years ago.
All right, so explain to me the joy of that bullshit game.
i mean i'll try and i'll sound like a fucking asshole because you can't help golf to me is it's so much fun and it's the best and it's the worst like you show every time i play there's always just you know you pull up to the course and there's some just total fucking dick looking guy dressed all in his golf gear you know he's got his khakis and he's got the polo and it's real crisp and you know the wind vest it's a whole thing and look
i love gear yeah like when it comes to just stuff like i ride my bike everywhere and i have so much bike shit and i'm sure people are like look at this asshole with like what do you got with his goggles and the hat and the do you have the little mirror i don't have that that's a little i don't think it doesn't seem necessary you can just look back quickly yeah yeah and it's yeah have you ever been doored is that what they say i have never been doored i've had a couple close calls but thankfully that's not happening
And when you almost get doored, do you shoot the stink eye in what the fuck?
I'm right here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good.
Good.
I'm just double checking.
So when you golf, what are we wearing?
Look, when I golf, I look fucking good, man.
Look fucking cool.
I got my Dickies double knee work pants on.
Kind of old quick silver.
Yeah, yeah, no hip polo.
Uh-huh, you know kind of you know my city sub hat sure You know people know I'm like this guy doesn't give a shit and I'm terrible.
You're terrible makes it worse I wish I was great so I could just dress like a total jerk Matt Walsh good He's pretty good.
Well, okay.
So Benjamin's a very good golf.
No excellent golfer.
Come on.
Yeah He's really John Benjamin good athlete.
Yeah
really good tennis player really good squash player really uh-huh john benjamin john benjamin see i think that these are closeted uh behaviors like i don't see john benjamin talking publicly about his squash playing or about his he may be very upset if he finds out that i said that but you're proud to be an athlete but john benjamin i just i assume john just being slightly you're you're fits now i'm sweating from the mustard from the mustard it's good though it's good
But I just see John Benjamin sitting there above everybody else making them feel smaller.
I don't see him with squash goggles on in shorts.
I don't know if he'd wear goggles.
But that means he had a life where he was playing tennis as a younger man.
Yeah, I think he was, from what I've heard, pretty good also.
Yeah.
At tennis specifically, like junior.
Not champion, but pretty good, high level.
But yeah, I'm always curious, like Amy Silver, his girlfriend.
Yeah.
i always feel like i always not always but i told her once you should write like a tell-all book about john benjamin you'd make so much money so many people want to know yeah what's he like is he what's he like when he's a sweetheart like when you're at home and he's just saying sweet things like does he do those things even happen yeah because you can't imagine them no you can't you just imagine him operating at that one horrible frequency
Oh, Amy, if you could, you know, just that.
Yeah, I love you.
You guys are so fucking funny.
Sorry, you're explaining to me the, like, you lit up about golf.
Like, it's so fucking fun.
I understand that, you know, you got to, like, there's a zen to it.
I'm embarrassed if I did.
And, you know, you might get it in the hole or close to the hole.
And it's all about how close to the hole you get it and how many things it takes you to get in the hole.
And you're outdoors.
You're with men.
It's nice out.
I get all that.
But fucking great time.
It's still not adding up.
Zen, sort of relaxing.
You're only playing against yourself time.
I get that.
Though there's many of those things you mentioned I find enjoyable.
Yeah, I do like being outside Excuse me.
I mean there's something about when you hit it's so fucking hard and There's so much focus which I think is good right and it is it's so hard to hit the ball true Yeah, when you do it just feels great.
Yeah, and it's satisfying.
It's very much, you know It's so addictive yeah in the sense that you can play like shit and
And then, you know, the cliche is you hit the one shot.
Oh, if I could do that every time.
Oh, right.
So you got to have that one moment.
Yeah.
There's no reason why I shouldn't be able to do that every time.
Right.
You have to practice so much.
Right.
The miracle of like when you hear the click of your, what do you call it?
Club.
And everyone else looks up and goes, holy.
The click of the club.
Yeah.
And everyone on the course goes, holy fuck.
And you all just sit there and watch your ball float.
You wouldn't hear it.
I think probably if it's that good, you're not going to hear it.
Is there a phrasing?
A term?
I think click of the club.
Let's just go with that.
If there is a phrase, it's better.
I don't know.
Hit it flush.
Yeah.
The sweet spot.
The sweet spot.
Click of the club is my new favorite.
Yeah, okay.
Well, let's try and integrate that into the lexicon of golf terms.
But I think I was thinking of the bat, you know, when you hit a baseball and that sound of the home run.
What do you call that?
The pop.
Isn't that just the sweet spot?
When you hit it flush, yeah.
No, you hit the sweet spot and you hit it flush, but that sound, that pop, you know, when the crowds...
crack of the bat crack of the bat click of the club click of the club crack of the bat uh smack of the stick that's hockey is it yeah i don't know i'm just trying to keep going with them smack of the stick swish of the net yeah yeah the whoosh of the whoosh yeah the net yeah the whoosh of the swish yeah yeah that's i think a dance thing
So, all right, so where did you come from and what happened?
I mean, were you, because you're not a stand-up, you just sort of appeared in New York and you were sharing your physical comedy genius with everybody.
I came from Chicago, via Chicago.
You grew up there?
No, outside Michigan, suburban Detroit.
Suburban, suburban Detroit is where I grew up.
Really?
Jews?
Mm-hmm.
How Jewy?
uh not very yeah just like you know dad a little more conservative jew yeah i'm very reformed right i'm very reformed right twice a year you did the thing if that no really maybe once did you do the big thing at 13 i did i had a yeah but that's like when i was younger and more all about peer pressure and just you know what what are the other i i
My mom, we went to this temple.
It's a very reformed temple.
They had an organ.
Humanistic Judaism is what it's called.
I don't even know if God is a part of it.
Yeah.
That means no guilt at all.
It doesn't mean, honestly, I don't even know what it means, but I don't think there's any, isn't Adonai, is that God?
Something like that.
I'm not sure.
I don't know.
I don't even think it's ever mentioned that word.
It's all about, I think, family and community.
Yeah, I never got the sense of God as a Jew anyways.
It doesn't resonate for me.
It never has.
And even just going to temple and all the call and response, I just felt like, does everybody here know what they're saying?
And does it mean anything?
And do people, obviously some people do.
But you do it at the same time.
I mean, everyone's doing it at the same time.
It just never, it never resonated with me.
Was there that time, did you have that thing where, like, there was that time where it was just sort of free form and the old guys would daven?
Free form.
You're like, you're just watching the old guys rock and then they somehow complete a triple rocking motion and you know it's done?
There's all, yeah, the davening, but I just, as a kid, I'm like, I don't know, I'm just going to do this.
I go to bar mitzvahs and just kind of, all right, I guess, and here comes the Torah and I have to kiss my hand and touch my hand in the Torah, right?
yeah i'll just do this and it just i did it and it's just i never really cared but never understood what it was is your wife jewish she's not okay but she's become more i feel more jewish than me there's a mezuzah on our door and i'm like yeah that's i'm like all right i mean i don't mind having it up there but i don't feel like we need it and you you have two kids you got a new one we just yeah we just uh adopted a baby and you got a six-year-old he's six next month
How are you going to deal with that sort of God thing?
It's pretty interesting.
We actually sent him to a preschool, which was a Jewish preschool.
It was a Montessori school.
And it's not that we specifically sought out a Jewish school, but one of his friends was going to the school, and so we checked out an open house, and it seemed okay.
There was a very wide range of religious people.
There were some people with yarmulkes and some very religious moms and kids and some much more...
reform not i would we were easily the most reformed least jewish people at the school but montessori that's just like finger painting and blocks and a free-for-all right i mean what is montessori it's like an open environment i think it's a lot of that and he really responded like the school that aspect of it was great yeah the jewish stuff made me i have to say very uncomfortable really and yeah because he'd come home and he'd start saying things like monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday and shabbat
And I'd be like, yes, but it's also Saturday.
And just, it made me uncomfortable.
And I felt like, all right, we're just, we're going to do this.
We met a lot of, we did meet a lot of really cool parents there that we just became friends with and are still friends with.
He's now in a public school.
And we moved to that neighborhood for this public school, which is great, but just ended up at this private school for preschool that was Jewish.
And it was just, that stuff just...
I just, now I just try not to, I don't bring it up.
And whenever it comes up, I just kind of try to move past it.
And it's weird because every now and then, like the word Hashem comes up and I just feel like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then just try to keep not, I don't talk.
Yeah.
Keep the conversation going.
Exactly.
Exactly.
I think once I actually said to him, let's just, yeah, just keep it moving.
And he said, what?
And I said, nothing.
And I turned the TV on and I just walked into the bathroom and I shut the door and I cried.
And I'm like, what am I going to do?
I set the ball rolling and it can't go back.
What am I going to do, Hashem?
Hashem, I need you now.
I need you to tell my son no.
Tell him to lose to Hashem, Hashem.
It is weird, but just to hear kids do it to me is very, very strange.
When I see Hasidic kids, I'm like, what?
That is, to me, the most... It's craziness.
Yeah, it is a little bit.
It scares me.
Just, I get very nervous around them.
Oh, my God.
I don't know what to do.
No, it's... I think it's bizarro.
Of course it is.
To me, it's... When you see, like, the kids with the payas, I feel like...
what are you doing it's great i mean is it brainwashing yeah sure i mean look but it's no different than me i'm when i said brainwashing that made me think of my friends who say you know my son he's a new york kid he was born in new york and i'm from detroit right so i try to tell him we're going to root for the detroit sports teams yeah which is brainwashing sure so it's just different there's no outfit to that but there's there i mean if i put a jersey on him there is right there's no but you don't have to wear payas
But there's no pay is involved.
Yeah.
Here's one thing I have to say that that bugs me when I see all these Hasidic kids like they're so and I don't want to go on off of some religious religion.
But one thing that bugs me when I see that is like when you see kids that wear yarmulkes.
Yeah.
But it's the ones like they'll have like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Yeah.
Or a watermelon twice.
Yes.
Or a basketball where I feel like, so you're that religious that you have to wear this, but you're going to, isn't that disrespectful?
If you're trying to respect God, I'm going to have this fun thing.
I don't know.
It seems a little weird to me, but at the same time, I also feel like with religion, you have to make it work for you.
So if that's how you do it, no problem.
Okay.
So Detroit, I can't even imagine Detroit.
Was that your city?
You're lost, dude.
Yeah.
You went to Detroit?
You can't imagine it because it's the best.
Is it?
I think it's very underrated.
You grew up going to Detroit?
I actually did not spend a lot of time downtown.
Because now it's coming back, it's bouncing back.
Maybe a little.
Chefs and artists are moving into places that people left, and that's always a sign of a city's resurgence when the gay community moves in and the chefs and the artists come.
Yeah, and a lot of urban gardening.
Yeah, urban gardening.
Rooftop gardening.
I thought I heard a story.
Local.
They call it local.
When I watch Cooking Network, it's like a lot of local produce, and then they always cut to the guy on the roof cutting pieces of herb.
Yeah.
Yeah, I have heard about that.
There's a lot of that in Brooklyn.
Yeah.
Like Williamsburg, I think.
Yeah, very fashionable.
Oh, yeah.
But it's great.
Where you eat at a restaurant in someone's house.
It's not a restaurant.
It's a sitting.
Oh, really?
No, there are those places.
We do sittings.
We have two tables.
Sittings.
And they bring in stuff that they made on the roof.
We grew this.
But it's kind of great, though.
No, I like that.
Even in the way, like, having this sausage, which you did not make and grow and kill the animal, but...
Yeah, no, I always cook my own food, and I wish I was more local oriented.
I wish I, you know, there's no reason I shouldn't be growing micro greens out here.
You know, I have room to have a micro green garden.
Yeah.
But I'm a compulsive eater, so like I can't be that delicate.
Even if you join one of them boxes, you know, where you get the healthy box.
What's that?
They deliver it to you.
Like a CSA?
Is that what that community?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We do that.
Right, and they show up with kale and seasonal vegetables.
But then there's a lot of pressure.
And even if I go shopping, I just went shopping yesterday.
And now, like right now, I'm thinking I should be eating things I bought now.
It seems to be the day after I shop, it's like now it's a race to eat the entire box of cereal.
I don't know what that is.
Oh, I was about to say before it goes bad.
No, it's just like it's here now.
I can eat it.
Yeah, take it easy.
Slow down.
There's no rush.
I know.
He ate one of my sausages.
Oh, so good.
All right, so Detroit, Jews, where does comedy come in?
So what did you do in high school?
Were you a cool kid?
I'm being general, but I'm trying to picture you because I had an idea who you were.
And it turns out, like, you're half of that.
The other half is better than I anticipated.
That's good.
Yeah, I always knew that you were a nice guy and very funny.
But, again, I felt a little standoffness early on.
Again, all your thing.
That's your thing.
Really, it didn't even register that when I showed up at Conan, what was, like, when you said, well, Maren's on the show, what was your first thought?
Like, oh, well.
Yeah.
That was pretty much it.
All right.
I don't know.
I guess.
No, I always thought you were a really funny comic, but very hard.
And you're like, oh, that guy's probably tough to get to know.
He's probably tough.
But there was never animosity.
I never thought, oh, he's an asshole.
Oh, good.
He's a very angry guy.
He's a very angry comic.
But there was just, I just didn't know you well.
And there was never like, I never thought you were, oh, this guy's so unfunny.
What a...
yeah i guess i always thought that because we we have we share a common semitic background and i feel like we're probably similar in the way we were brought up that immediately we should be uh you know talking about masturbation and how we're not really jewy well in that sense yeah we should we have a lot in common
Am I making that up?
Have you ever noticed that when Jewish guys get together, it's only a matter of minutes before masturbation comes up?
Really?
I have not noticed that.
I just try to keep that under wraps.
All right.
All right.
See, you're a little more protected.
About my masturbation habits?
Yeah, which I find unusual.
I kind of feel like if I'm... And look, this is tough because my wife loves the podcast.
She's very excited to... I don't want you to go in any direction you don't feel comfortable with.
Are you saying she doesn't know that you're a compulsive masturbator?
I'm sure she does.
Much in the same way that when I was in high school and I thought, oh, when I call my, when my mom says, if you're going to be out late, just call.
And I call her drunk saying, hey, I'm just going to sleep at Danny's tonight.
She doesn't know I'm drunk.
I've been drinking.
And then years later I find out she did.
And I'm like, really?
Where I feel like I'm sure my wife doesn't know that I masturbate all the time.
And of course she must.
Yeah.
Now she does.
That's so weird.
Your mom made you do that.
See, my parents made me do that too.
What's that?
Just call?
But they were never like, you have to be home.
It was just, if you're going to be out past a certain hour, just call us and let us know.
But did you ever get that time?
Didn't you always wake them up?
And then you wonder, why did they make me wake them up?
Like I'd call and they'd be like, hello?
And I'm like, I'm not, I'm still out.
Okay.
And then they hang up.
I guess there was that, but I think I never wondered, oh, what was that about?
I think it was just I knew I had to check in.
Right.
And that was a good thing.
As long as I felt like I did it, there was never any.
Yeah, she never.
My mom.
So it might get to a point with your kid when you set the same parameters.
Oh, man, that just seems like it's going to be crazy.
But you can always drop the Hashem card.
Yeah.
Hashem wants you to call at 1 o'clock.
Like the second he doesn't call you by the time you tell him, Hashem.
Oh, God.
Well, look, I don't know what he's going to be like.
I mean, even he was circumcised, which was a whole crazy thing in and of itself.
Why?
Because I hadn't even thought twice about it.
It just seemed like, yeah, he'll be circumcised.
Right.
And then that morning it was just...
what are we doing?
I didn't research this enough.
Is this the right thing?
And had so much anxiety.
But the Moyle who showed up was really great.
Did a great job.
Yeah.
And he did.
You did a bris.
No, we just had a couple friends over and that was it.
For the dick cutting.
for the dick cutting yeah for the dick slice we just had four friends more for emotional support but it wasn't like a big brisk with a bunch of people yeah um but the moyle was really great about how he phrased it he was you know he was a guy that wore a yarmulke but was pretty casual about it yeah not casual in his process but he said look if your son grows up and chooses to remain jewish which i thought was a really interesting thing for him to say who seemed like a very religious guy
It was very cool that he at least acknowledged, here's a choice that you have or your son will have if he wants to be a Jewish person.
So you're saying that this will be done.
Is that what he was saying?
That if he grows up, he chooses to remain Jewish, he'll have this done.
Yeah, he won't have to then do it later.
Right.
I didn't think of it in those terms.
I just more was impressed that he at least acknowledged and wasn't just, this is how it's done.
This is it.
It was more at least an if involved, which is kind of nice.
My mother tells a story about the moil that was brought in for mine.
She tells it to me.
She says, yeah, it was your grandpa Ben's moil, and he took so long, Mark.
it took so like so i'm thinking like this was horrible you had this 90 year old guy who was laboring over cutting my penis how did that affect me did it have an effect it's crazy how can it i mean what was your thought so like you thought maybe we should leave it why bother it you know i mean well i mean you're like to actually yeah to actually cut the dick skin it seems like it's pretty fucking awful
But then the alternative is you'd have one of those uncut ones, which are always shocking to me.
And then what?
It looks funny.
It's not going to look like yours.
Then you have to have that discussion in a locker room.
When the kid's old enough, you take them to the Y. But is that such a big deal, though, to have that discussion and explain?
It doesn't seem like...
Well, it might be kind of dicey the first time.
I always just thought, I mean, it's terrible.
I really did not know much about it and didn't research it.
It's also like a health thing and cleaning and infections.
Yeah, but then there's the other side.
There's the anti-circumcision people who are like, you know, this is the way it should be.
This is natural.
Yeah, this is how you're born.
And it's more sensitive.
It makes sense.
Yeah, yeah.
The guy did a good job, though, the moil.
Well, that's good.
Real clean.
Hashem left pretty specific constructions.
Clearly, we're supposed to cut it.
Even though we're born a certain way, he made us a certain way.
But to test our metal for being a Jew, Hashem said, take that shit off.
Yeah.
All right.
So when did you get involved with the comedy?
uh i guess in uh high school yeah i was playing i played a lot of sports in high school were you a jock i was when i when i went to high school i played uh soccer and basketball and baseball uh-huh letter jacket did you have a letter jacket oh man oh yeah you did yeah sl southfield lathrop all right my mom still has it oh yeah see that but how do you reconcile that with being the uh the sweet guy you are now were you an asshole jock
I don't know.
I hope not.
Come on.
I don't think so.
I don't think I was.
Did you hang around with assholes?
No.
Okay.
No.
It was pretty low key.
I mean, those guys were always just, yeah, that always turned me off.
Just dickhead kind of jock guys.
But I did play sport.
Yeah.
Fuck, yeah, yeah, but that, I mean, soccer, I don't think it tracks a lot of those types of guys.
It wasn't like the football players were always kind of dicks.
Do you ever go back to your high school reunion?
Have you done that yet?
Did not do those.
There was a few people that I do keep in touch with still, but a couple of them live in New York.
Oh, yeah?
A few of them don't, but I keep in touch with people now, of course, with the internet and Facebook and all that.
It's so easy, but...
I didn't go back for a high school reunion.
Maybe the next one.
Why?
Because I didn't want to go back until I had at least a Letterman under my belt.
Something.
Yeah, something.
I guess I wasn't that curious to go back and connect and see people and say hi and all that.
It just felt like...
but i also feel like because a lot of the people that i was better friends with i'm just in touch with right some of them are even in new york so i see them and the other other people that and it's i don't know i just didn't feel the pull to go back you know not even spite just to see how fat they got or how nothing like that
You're a good guy.
But even why would you want to go spend your time, yeah, to go back and see who's fat and who's unsuccessful?
That just sounds awful.
Yeah.
I guess I'm petty.
But I was curious.
I mean, I saw photos on the internet.
I'm not above that.
Yeah.
I had this weird thing in my reunion where they voted for the most interesting job kind of thing.
And they voted me the one expecting me to do stand-up.
They gave me this award, and I was just sort of like, thank you, I appreciate it, and wanted to get the fuck out of there.
You're talking about at the reunion?
Yeah, why didn't you want to do some stand-up?
They were hoping it would provoke me to do stand-up, and it's like the last thing I wanted to do.
And it was those same jocks were at the table, but they were bigger and fatter.
And I just, like, the fear of doing stand-up for that group was so insanely deep.
I did not do it.
Yeah, but that doesn't even sound fun.
No, the whole thing was horrible.
It just sounds like, why even, ugh, just...
Hey, let's get you up here to do some stuff.
Hey, everyone, Mark, huh?
Yeah, no, the worst, the worst.
Oh.
So, okay, so what'd you do, what kind of funny did you do in high school?
I mean, eventually, they, it was, I think, sophomore year or junior year, they had a big all-school assembly, and they had a play, and it was Grease.
And I thought, oh, that looks fun.
Yeah.
And I thought about trying it.
And so I quit baseball, which was kind of a big deal at the time because I loved it.
Yeah.
But I quit baseball to try out for a play.
Did a play.
It was really fun.
He quit baseball for theater.
Yeah.
Quit baseball for theater.
Yeah.
And it was worth it.
It was worth it.
Because you knew that baseball was a dead end street.
No, I thought, hey, look, I thought I was good.
I thought I was a good ball player.
I didn't have visions of the major leagues, but I felt like, I don't know, maybe I'll play college ball or soccer.
I always kind of thought I was good enough to play college soccer, but I never pursued it, maybe in part because I knew I kind of liked theater and comedy, and that's when I decided...
Who did you play in Greece?
I wasn't in Greece, but that's the play I saw that made me want to quit baseball to try a play.
What was the first play?
The first play was like a couple one acts.
I can't remember.
But then it was a play called You Can't Take It With You.
I did that play.
Did you?
Mm-hmm.
Wow, we are coming closer and closer.
I don't know.
I vaguely remember.
I played like a two-line part.
Was that Moss and Hart or something?
I think so.
Yeah.
You Can't Take It With Me.
It's a big family thing.
It all takes place in a big house.
Yes.
Right.
That's it.
Yeah.
Jason Robards, I think, did it.
He was in your high school production.
We won a contest.
He was having a contest.
What high school will I perform with?
And we fucking won.
He nailed it.
Yeah, and we all hung out with it.
It was the fucking best year of high school.
Back when he was drinking.
Yeah, fucking Robards, man.
God damn, it was so cool, man.
So cool.
And he just, oh, we got to hang out.
Yeah, it was great.
Partying with Robards.
i do remember holding i had some prop i do this just i remember this and it was i think just a glass yeah that i had to bring on stage and for some reason i was holding it before the show like when we were all kind of talking and i dropped it and it broke yeah and it was mortifying and thankfully they found a replacement right really yeah it was fucked up yeah right before you went on and that's when jason robart he took me aside and he gave taking gave me some life lessons he gave me some theater lessons gave me a drink
And he told you a story about working with Sam Peckinpah on the ballot of Cable Hogue.
I wish that were real.
And that'd be so good.
Pretty interesting news here.
Jason Robards, the actor, is having a nationwide contest to have a high school production.
You can't take it with you, and he's going to be in it with these kids and spend a year at the school.
And he's going to live with the family.
But doing theater when you're in high school, it's really like how that moment right before you have to go on stage and that heightened reality of doing a play.
Like, it's so fucking addictive and frightening and insane.
It was really fun.
No, I totally got hooked.
Yeah.
I really knew I wanted to perform.
And even in college...
I knew I wanted to try comedy.
My mom got me tickets to a second city touring company in high school.
Yeah.
And I just loved it.
I thought it was amazing and kind of wanted to do comedy.
And I think I wanted to try stand up and I did a little in college, but not much.
Right.
I like doing the sketch and improv stuff, but did a little stand up.
Yeah.
Um, and just didn't like, you know, like joke telling just wasn't what I do and what I liked and what I felt like I was best at.
And you liked improvising.
Yeah.
I like doing that more and didn't really do that until I moved to Chicago after college.
You graduated college?
I graduated college.
With a degree in?
Communication.
You know, I knew I wanted to do theater, but I felt like I'm not getting a senior degree.
It's going to leave all doors open to the entertainment world.
Yeah, communication was so vague and the degree there was just nothing.
I don't even know what, it was nothing.
It really was a waste of money.
You did a year in TV production and-
yeah like a couple it was not a very it was terrible yeah i should have just got like a philosophy degree or something else or english yeah equally is a little more defined also maybe a waste but i don't know it felt like a waste of a degree in money yeah but i was doing a lot of comedy and theater stuff and also taking theater classes and oh really doing comedy shows yeah i still wanted to do that what kind of comedy shows in college like sketch and like you're in a group it was a sketch group they had there called what was it called yeah called
the comedy company yeah just a terrible yeah it's not even clever or ironic or anything awful yeah what school is this university of michigan the university of michigan comedy company i don't know if they still have it there or not but it was fun and i'm you know the people that i did it with we also took a i took a year off of school yeah between junior and senior year and we took it on the road yeah like did our the comedy company the the comedy company uh-huh yeah and you
took it on the road and played other schools.
And we called it something else.
Our group was called Just Kidding.
Oh.
Really, really terrible name.
Yeah.
Awful.
But we made our own tour.
It was not affiliated with the University of Michigan.
Right.
And this is before the internet and being able to readily find numbers to call.
We bought...
a huge book of just financial aid.
Yeah.
So it listed all the just colleges across the country, their financial aid departments.
So we would call the financial aid departments.
Hi, is there an entertainment division?
And like sometimes it would take five, six, seven, whatever phone calls to finally get the right person.
Yeah.
To say, hey, we're a comedy group and we're looking to book shows.
And so with that or through that process, we were able to book like a year long tour.
It wasn't maybe it was maybe.
i don't know 30 to 40 shows all college over a school year mostly colleges yeah so you got through to the student activities office yes and you said we're college kids and yeah we did a show and we we sort of put together a brochure that we made and sent it out and we're able to book so you're doing like small rooms and like you know cafeterias and some cafeterias some big theaters it was all sorts of different types of shows all original comedy
I think a lot of it might have been some of these comedy company sketches, but stuff that we wrote and then wrote some new stuff for the shows.
And was that where you started developing characters?
Man, I don't know.
I think that was more later, like after Chicago and moving to New York.
This was all like, I mean, there was some really terrible sketches, you know, like the heavy metal teacher, you know, and like shit like that.
It was, we all, it was, some of it was pretty good, but I remember it mostly being just, you know, it's early and you're young and writing kind of not so great comedy and, you know, terrible premises, but.
some of it was fun we had a it was a very good time just traveling in this van we had a couple jason robars with you jason robars was great man you know he drove a lot and he was not like an asshole about being a celebrity and you know he'd take his shifts at the van and you know yeah he'd like sometimes like pull an extra shift you know we were tired and like these kids need this experience yeah buy liquor for you guys jason won't go in and buy it man that's too bad that wasn't real
So when did you, what, uh, so what, how do you go to Chicago and you got, did you sync up with the second city people or what?
How did that go?
Yeah.
I ended up when I was in Michigan, I still was not sure what I was going to do.
I knew I kind of wanted to maybe move to Chicago and there was second city there, but it was, I was at the halfway point of my senior year of college and I ended up
taking the train i called to see if they ever had auditions for the show for second city for second city yeah and i remember just getting some real fucking asshole on the phone and i because i didn't know i called and just said hi do you guys ever have uh auditions for the for the cast uh you have to go through the touring company first like someone really really arrogant and condescending how could you not know the system
Yeah, it was so fucking annoying.
And I remember pretty sure I met that person.
Like I put it together that, oh, this voice is this person.
And I fucking hated them.
They were just also not funny, terrible, but whatever.
That's why they're the reception.
Yeah, they were in the box office.
Right.
Been there for years.
yeah really fucking oh i fucking hated that person what is the system though and how far did you go into into it because i've had a few second city people and i've had some people that did the touring thing extensively sudeikis did a lot of that yeah did you how many hoops did you have to jump through what did you take classes first and then did the classes first um did that for maybe a year or so and i was also doing classes elsewhere there's a place improv olympic right where a lot of you know the ucb people came from originally and uh
So I was doing classes at Second City, ImprovOlympic.
What was the other one?
Theater Deranged?
Or was it?
The Annoyance.
The Annoyance, right.
Yeah.
A lot of great people came from there.
Jody Lennon.
Yep.
And that's still there, that theater.
Mick Napier is the guy that I think founded it and runs it.
Right.
but I, yeah, I did the classes for a while and auditioned, I think even a couple more times for the touring company and then got hired and, uh, toured for about a year and a half.
Really?
And it was really fun.
I mean, it was great.
And, uh, Rachel Dratch was in my touring company and, um, Adam McKay, Adam McKay was in the main stage show that I did the main stage.
So after touring, you and Dratch are on the road together.
We were on the road together.
We were also in the main stage show together, which was me and Rachel, Adam McKay, Scott Adsit, a woman named Jenna Jolovitz, and a guy named Scott Allman.
That was the whole thing.
Yeah.
And how does that work?
You guys do sketches or improvise?
What's a main stage mean?
That means you do it, what, three times a week?
The main stage is like the biggest stage they have there.
There's basically, there's the touring company.
They used to have a theater in the suburbs, which was Second City Northwest, which they closed a few years after I started working there.
But there's another stage at their main complex called the ETC.
So you could either start at the Northwest and sort of move your way up, which I think was the normal process, but not everybody went that route.
Right.
I ended up going from the touring company to the main stage, but I had understudied all the other two stages a lot.
I understudied AdSit, understudied Stephen Colbert for a long time.
And that just means you know their parts.
Yes.
You study their lines, so if they're ever sick, if they're ever out for whatever reason, you take their place.
And Colbert, I just totally lucked out.
I was understudying him.
But you got sick a lot?
Yeah.
He ended up moving to New York, did that show, I think, Exit 57.
Exit 57 with Jody Lennon and Roush.
And Amy Sedaris.
Sedaris.
And who else?
Paul Dinello.
Paul Dinello, yeah.
So he ended up... They had just opened a main stage show, and then he left to do that.
So I ended up understudying him and got to be in the show for a few months, and it was awesome.
And it was just regular stage time.
That show is...
five six days a week and i think eight shows a week so it was just i was like working couldn't believe it yeah it was really fun and he had this a lot of great parts and roles and doing all this fun stuff and characters and it was incredible for me um and then after that is when i got the main stage when they were putting the new cast together um
um and those were just sketches those are written things all the sketches come from improv like while you're doing a show yeah you're also there's an improv set every night uh after the show right and when a new cast comes together and when you're starting to put together a new review the way it works is you start working on material in the improv scene or the improv uh sets
Everybody comes up with it or you come up with it.
It's all collaborative.
You might come with an idea and say, let's try this idea and improvise it.
Or it might come from an audience suggestion.
A lot of times what you do is, you know, you'll after the show, two people will sit on the stage and say, OK, we're going to take some suggestions, go backstage, pick which ones we're going to do and come out and improvise.
So some of the scenes in the review might be from those scenes.
Right.
And you also might bring in ideas that are not written.
Right.
And then in the improv sets, you eventually start to keep workshopping some of the scenes that are working that you like.
Yeah.
And start to write these scripts and these sketches that will end up in the mainstay in the show.
But it's all done through this improv process.
That all makes sense.
It does.
Because sometimes I don't always understand sketch.
And I guess I'm always looking for deeper meaning or closure or whatever.
And it's always sort of eluded me how one writes a sketch.
But I think that process makes more sense.
It's not about a narrative necessarily as much as it is just about the thing sort of coming to a finish somehow.
Go ahead.
Even when I watch some of the stuff you do now, I don't know where that comes from.
And it's all very funny, but it's like, what does this mean?
It doesn't mean, it doesn't have to mean anything.
It doesn't have to mean anything.
Yeah, it's just funny.
Yeah, it's even like when you're doing improv scenes and things that I learned from watching people and talking to people and being directors.
You don't have to necessarily worry about what's the ending and just have it be about this moment and that's all it has to be.
Some stuff should have like a beginning, middle, end and all that, but it doesn't always have to have that.
Yeah.
I don't think so.
So after that, when did you move to New York and when did the Conan thing was a big thing, right?
Yeah.
First, what happened for me after Chicago was Dana Carvey's show.
Louis was right.
Louis C.K.
Someone actually wrote me an email recently.
He's like, quit using first names.
We don't assume we all know people.
And I'm like, I'm talking to somebody.
Shut up.
Yeah.
but louis and smigel were the head that's how we all talk to each other it is louis c k and robert smigel yeah that was their thing and that was pretty controversial the show yeah yeah i mean look it was awesome i mean it's it was controversial for stupid reasons i mean it was just in the wrong time slot and people didn't like it because it was after home improvement and before the muppets so it's like oh yeah
Now, who cast you, Louie or Robert?
Well, I got hired as a writer.
Okay.
I wasn't hired as a cast member.
By Louie?
I guess it would be both of them, Smigel and Louie, both of them.
Yeah.
Because I came out, I auditioned for SNL that summer, and then Smigel had seen my audition.
How far did you get in that process?
Did you meet with Lorne?
I did meet him, but it was only just from being out there and auditioning, just shook his hand and said hi, and that was it.
But it was no second round or anything like that.
But Smigel, who was still sort of working there a lot or had a big hand in there, he had access to all the auditions and people that didn't get hired to look at that for Dana Carvey's show.
And so through seeing that...
He liked my audition, got in touch with Tom Giannis, who was my director at the time at Second City and said, oh, make sure Glazer does this for his Dana Carvey audition.
So did some of the same things.
Didn't get hired as a cast member, but they liked what I had done and asked me if I had to be interested in submitting as a writer.
And I said, sure.
And even like what you're saying, like, how do you write a sketch?
And what is that?
Like, I felt like I had no idea.
did not envision myself as a writer ever.
So what was the process?
What'd you turn in?
I just sat down and spent a few days just trying to think of ideas for sketches.
If there was ideas I had that I thought might be funny and just wrote them and just didn't, I didn't try to think about anything other than I'm just going to write what I think is funny.
I'm going to write a sketch that I think is funny.
I remember even drawing a,
Some some drawings on one of these sketches for some of these ideas because I felt like this might not make sense I'm just gonna draw what I think this would look like yeah and Louie actually said for one of those he's like oh that actually was funny and it made sense and it actually helped and at least showed like well it's here's a sketch and at least shows also how you're thinking about writing so it's more conceptual and visual yeah and
And that helped you.
I think it helped.
And to me, like the point of that is just, you know, there's no right or wrong way to do it.
It's just I always communicating you're funny.
Yeah, I think that's the most even when I was at Conan and friends of mine would say, what should I submit for my packet?
Obviously, when you're submitting to a show like that, you want to submit things that they think they can do.
Yeah, it can't just be all these crazy ideas like, well, that's amazing, but we could never do that on the show.
It has to be that balance.
Yeah.
And also, you seem so specific in how you're gonna be funny.
Like, a lot of the characters you did on Conan were just, and I think it's expected, that you've only got a couple minutes of screen time, so you're the guy with the little hands.
Or you're the guy with the Hulk wrist or whatever.
Yeah, I mean, so that's basically the pitch, right?
Is like, they know you as a funny guy, and you're like, I'm just gonna have little hands.
Well, for that show especially, it's just specific to either what's the idea, like new characters, whereas like Wrist Hulk would be for that.
Yeah.
But yeah, it's all short, very quick bursts.
Yeah.
And you don't have any time to get an idea across.
Yeah.
You just got to be funny.
Yeah.
But that is what I liked doing.
Even now, like even with screenplays, do I want to do that?
I would if I had what I felt was the right idea, but I always feel like I'm more just short form, whether it's sketch or like this book that I wrote, and I did not say that to plug it.
Is that sex book?
No, that was all that.
That was a joke.
That was this book I wrote, the Dead Dad and ZZ Top book.
I don't know if you ever saw that.
I did not.
It's all just short pieces.
Yeah.
I don't know if I could ever write a novel.
I don't think ever.
Right.
There's no way.
When did I see you?
When were you doing all that stuff?
Let's talk about that night because I was hosting some event at the Irving Plaza.
I don't remember what it was for Jeff Singer or something.
Do you remember what it was?
The Best of Luna or some shit or what was it?
Yeah, it was the Lunala or the, yeah, like the Eating It.
Yeah, yeah.
Is that what he started calling it?
Yeah, Eating It at Irving Plaza and it was a big show.
Yeah.
and i just remember you always wearing some form of 80s attire that was my you had a headband on or shorts that was me and benjamin yeah but those were sweatsuits i think at that no i think we had like headbands we had bow ties around our necks yeah white bow ties we might have had headbands yeah and then some white shorts and white shirts matching very athletic yeah and they were matching outfits athletic 80s disco athletic
yeah yeah and then big yellow probably i would say three foot diameter balls yeah balloons and we were performing that thing we were like a two-man i can't remember what's the name of the group we were a two-man performance team from i think somewhere in florida
I can't remember the name of it, but it doesn't matter.
And we were performing to that song that, you know, wouldn't you love to fly in my beautiful blue and a lot of sweeping gestures as we're each holding these big yellow balls.
I'm doing them right now as I'm sitting in my chair, you know, so it's a choreographed piece.
Yeah.
And then maybe a minute into the song, you know, it was lots of, you know, slow sweeping motions with the ball, but then lots of leaps and spins.
Yeah, silly leaps.
Yeah, very silly.
Yeah.
And then at one point, you know, lots of like jumping in the air and crisscrossing.
Yeah, yeah.
And then at one point after doing some of this, we collide and both go down.
Right.
And like, you know, we're just, and the music never stops.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So the music's still playing and we're both just laying there writhing in pain or I'm writhing in pain and Benjamin's out cold.
Yeah, yeah.
And it just became this bit of just me getting up, music still just... That's the whole stupid joke.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Super fun, peppy.
Yeah, yeah.
And it just was on a loop.
Yeah.
So it eventually would resolve and then very quickly start over again.
Right.
And the beginning of the song is like...
and it was always really just fun when it would start again so yeah i'm i'm just like my head is hurting and i go to check benjamin and you know you can tell by the body language because you're not hearing dialogue right just watching people on stage and listening to this song right start to realize something is wrong it's not okay and i'm gesturing and you can't you were hosting the show you come out you're trying to gesture that he's hurt yeah and you're like motioning and then some like paramedics yeah yeah cedar and and uh i think c
I think it was Cedar.
I think it was Rob Hubel might have been one of the guys.
And this guy, I think, Phil McGlaston and Gary Wilms were two actors that I knew.
So we had actually two separate paramedic teams.
So it's four paramedics with stretchers.
We had stretchers.
Yeah.
and benjamin always loved that even though we're doing this stupid comedy bit and the music's blaring no one can hear us on stage but all the guys playing paramedics you know no one's like hey benjamin fuck you and being a dick they're all like totally committing yeah sir you're okay we're gonna put this you're okay you're fine sir like they were really good in character and he's just laying there like the fuck are these guys doing yeah yeah
music's looping the music keeps looping so they put him on a stretcher they wheeled him out right on this gurney and then we probably at the end came back and just started yelling at the audience you fucking idiots you believe that you thought it was real I don't think you did I think that I went out I'm sorry you know everything's taken care of it'll be okay I do remember us doing that a couple times like doing a bit like that and then coming back on stage you fucking idiots thought that was real you fucking idiots
I feel like we did because I remember Walsh like, why do you do that?
It's just being funny.
It's just being stupid.
But that type of comedy, was it like Andy Kaufman an influence on you at all?
Did you care?
Or was it just you just like that in between real and fake?
I mean, I guess for me, yeah, it's not so much fucking with people because I feel like no one really thinks it's someone's hurt.
To me, it's just more about the joy of just more of a performance as a piece as opposed to even not jokes.
Even though I think there are funny moments that are happening, like it's just all timing and how things are unfolding.
That to me is enjoyable as far as doing stuff on stage.
Right.
So, okay, how long were you at Conan?
Five years.
It's a long time.
Yeah, it was a long time.
Good times?
Very good times.
Because he located, I remember I interviewed you right before the first season when we were doing Break Room Live, and he came out in character.
So where did the- I did?
You had a ski mask?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Did they affect the voice in the edit?
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
Yeah, we did a lot for you.
I think we might have figured out a way to do it while you were talking or maybe the guy you were working with had a way to run the mic through something.
Well, I use like a harmonizer when I do the live shows.
Right.
It just sounds awesome.
Right.
yeah it was great where where did the uh where did that come from was that a sketch originally the delocated idea yeah i was doing it actually when i lived in la for like a year and a half and i had this idea for an impressionist who was in the witness protection program and same very much very like the character is essentially the same at his core as the delocated guy this super smug asshole dick yeah
That has a lot of confidence in himself.
Right.
And in this case, his material.
And the guy was just a shitty impressionist, hacky material, but thought very highly of himself that he wanted to actually still get out there and perform.
So he put the ski mask on and affected his voice.
And the joke was that.
All the impressions just sounded the same.
They were all that voice.
It was really dumb, but it was really fun to do.
And I put that in my Conan submission packet and they liked that.
And when I got hired, I actually did that character on the show.
But when I quit Conan, I just always liked that character and that guy, that just smug jerk and wanted to do something with it and came up with the idea for the show and pitched it and thankfully got to do it.
And this is the third season.
This is the third season.
Now, Joe Mandy wrote the episode I saw last night.
Did he write all of them with you?
He wrote... We hired a few writers to help with the scripts, and it was just nice to be able to not have so much to do, but also get other people's voices, and Joe was great.
He's a really funny guy.
Yeah, yeah.
And now, outside of this sort of weird narrative of the Russian mob and everything else, I mean, like, the episode... It's one of these examples.
The episode I watched revolved around the Potato Skins bar.
Mm-hmm.
Where does that shit come from?
I mean, to me, because I deal more with whatever's going on with me, that the idea of coming up with that idea as a kernel of a bit, saying it's gonna be a Potato Skins bar and it's gonna be a Nachos bar,
But like the then to follow through with it, it's like bizarre to me that you're like, no, we're going to this is going to be the show.
I can't remember where that idea came from specifically.
But that makes me think of just, for example, like, where do these ideas come from?
I mean, it really could come from anywhere and at any time.
But it's a matter of committing to it.
I mean, like, you know, that's the thing.
Yeah, you have to commit to it hard.
As long as it's funny, I feel like there's no problem in doing that.
But even like, we had the thing where my character was tap dancing in season two, and it was a thing where his brother was a tap dancer and died, and my character decided he had to tap his ashes across the country.
And the idea from that came from just me showing up to work to write with these two guys, John Lee and Vernon Chapman, who are part of the production company PFFR that I hired to help with the show.
The Wonder Shows and Guys.
The Wonder Shows and Guys.
I knew Vernon when he was a stand-up.
They're really funny guys.
Yeah.
They're great writers.
Yeah.
And they draw from, there's something that certain guys do, like those guys do, and you seem to do, and Tim and Eric does, where your points of reference are so specific, yet so bizarre.
Even in the live show last night, to play off these weird disco Muzak numbers, and to play off certain fragments of old television, I don't know where that tone comes from, do you?
I mean...
I don't.
Honestly, every time people ask that, I just I'm not sure how to answer it other than to say.
And I always feel like it sounds like an asshole.
Like, I don't know.
Like, that's just how my my brain work.
That's just how I think it was funny to you.
I mean, the 80s must have been funny to you.
on some level to me it's less about the 80s and more just like i just like this character he's right he just feels like this is a good outfit right this looks cool or just think this is hot or this is sexy like those shorts are just these hot short shorts right the glitter shorts and like the knee-high socks yeah and to me i don't know it's just fun to be like this obnoxious to sell that yeah yeah this is who i am yeah yeah yeah i think a lot of people think we're like just big weed smokers and just oh my god coming up this weird shit it's just none of us are
I just don't know where the resources to... My mind is so hung up on troubleshooting my life that when somebody's able to draw from... If you watch Tim and Eric and the way they kind of pull from public access and that tone and all these different... They're really sort of tones or modes of media that are hilarious when applied correctly.
That I just don't... I know it's stupid to say where does someone's creativity come from, but there seems to be a theme to the guy.
You know, and something between members-only jackets and potato skins bars.
Well, certainly I think a part of it does come from the character as far as... And I think this just goes more to the point of the subject matter of the show, not the witness protection program, but the reality aspect of it and the fame whore.
Right.
And the desire for fame.
So here's a guy who is just...
Very confident in who he is and putting himself on TV.
But I and also I think an aspect of it, he's a dad and it's a lot of dad stuff.
Those outfits are very my I never patterned this specifically after my dad, but I feel like it might have been more so than I realized because my dad came to visit.
set this past season it was really fucking weird because i'm dressed in character and then my dad showed up and we're just hanging out between takes talking and i realized we were dressed exactly alike exactly alike i'm not kidding like not the same shirts but striped polos tucked into jeans braided belt loafers it was so fucking weird and even like the dumb did he notice it
I must have said something.
I'm not sure if he said it, but I was very aware of it and was like, whoa, holy shit.
Because that dumb character noise, or the noise my character makes out.
Like, that's my dad.
And that, to me, is just a thing a dad does thinking he's being funny.
That's a noise.
Oh, hey, guys, kids, what's up?
And it's weird because a lot of the humor on the show, to me, is just us being as dumb as we can for this character.
Not, like, face value funny.
Like...
going to the bone zone yeah that's not a joke we thought of as a great joke right this is a joke we thought of as that this asshole would say character would say but it still ends up being funny and your dad was like things like skins i mean my dad's a good guy he's a good dad but he's just you know he's sometimes like that like huh does that noise and what did he do
He was in the produce business for a very long time, worked for a big grocery store chain called Farmer Jack.
Really?
Yeah.
Salesman?
I guess, yeah.
I think he ran the warehouse for a while, then worked at the produce terminal downtown Detroit.
Did that for a long time and now does a lot of construction stuff.
So did he come home with vegetables a lot?
Yeah, he'd just show up with fruit.
Fruit and vegetables.
You would think he would.
One thing he said.
No.
Never?
Nope.
Hey, honey, I brought home some nice lettuce today.
It was more of the business aspect of it.
Boxes.
Yeah, moving boxes and crates.
Tell me, like, when you go to a grocery store, you'll see it's all about the display.
Yeah.
that's some wisdom yeah when you go in and look he's like just take a look you'll see the top chains it's just take a note of how they display the produce yeah so and i think about that to this day it's all about the presentation it's all do you know where the good produce is like in the back like the newer stuff do you think about that how it's rotated
I don't.
It never became about that.
It was all about the aesthetics.
Okay.
That's the lesson I got.
Do you have that conversation?
Have you shared that with your son?
When he's old enough.
Yeah.
When he's older, we'll sit down.
My son recently came.
It was weird.
He's in kindergarten.
We're going to school and he comes out and he's like, I want to dress like Zadie, which is Yiddish for a grandfather, which is how my dad prefers to be called.
I'm just surrounded with it, man.
Hashem.
I'm telling you, it's all, yes, it's tough.
But I'm fighting it.
Okay.
I'm resisting it hard.
Running to the bathroom at the mention of Hashem.
The Hashem room.
Yeah.
god doesn't see you when you let they shut the bathroom door no yeah no but my son came out of his room he kind of likes to put outfits together now and said i want to dress like zady and it was a polo shirt and a belt and tucked into jeans and i was like holy shit how do i put a stop to this it's pretty cute though oh that's hilarious are your parents uh are they happy with your uh choice in life
Yeah, they've always been very supportive.
I know when I took that year off of school to travel with my friends, my dad was not happy about it and he was very concerned, but I had to just make sure he understood, reassure him that I was going back to finish school because I wanted to.
That was important to me.
Right.
Yeah.
But ever since, they've been very supportive, and that's been great, and they're psyched, of course, about what's going on.
And you recently adopted a second child.
Yeah, we adopted a little girl.
This was a deck conversation that we had earlier, you and I. My brother has three adopted kids, and there's always that.
Yeah, you said you bought another kid.
You bought a kid.
I said that.
I said you bought a kid.
Because there is money involved.
There's money involved.
It's not for free.
No, they don't just give you the kid.
We'd like to take care of that kid and make it our own.
Here you go.
It's more like, okay, well, there is a fee for a thing.
They don't outwardly say, I imagine, that kid's going to be $20,000.
It's a lot of money.
I mean, we hired an adoption lawyer instead of an agency, which actually proved to be very beneficial.
by chance very helpful with how our adoption went but uh yeah it's expensive but having a baby is expensive i mean the hospital stuff and the no absolutely no it's all it's always it's just it's an interesting thing that my brother has three kids and when i bring it up there's always that moment where people are like well what uh what kind of white or
did where'd they come from where'd the kid because now you hear people like we've got a jamaican baby or a chinese baby or you know i'll tell you our baby yeah fucking usa man right on man fucking america baby american made baby i was cool with adoption i told my wife we're going to america yeah we're an american yeah american made or nothing yeah yeah that's good good for you and what kind of baby did you
she is look she's a beautiful american baby okay let's leave it at that it doesn't matter no it doesn't i mean that's the thing about and we named her we named her her first name is red and her middle name is white and blue
nice red white and blue glazer yeah red white and blue king glazer yeah yeah did you name her jewie jewie yeah ruth sarah rachel cheryl jill cheryl cheryl julie
uh yeah not very her frederica oh that's nice not very jewy named after a relative or no we just when we were thinking of names for my son we were before we knew he was going to be a boy we went through names and just kind of liked fred that name freddy it's pretty cute what's your kid what's your boy's name nathan nathan he's nate and freddy so now you're back in it you got that's a big uh big age difference six and newborn
Yeah, I was slightly concerned about it, but not overly so, but it's awesome.
I mean, even just that he's so it's just watching him with her is just, you know, it's unreal.
It's so he wanted a sibling for very long and I was always asking about a sibling and make another one.
Make another one.
I want we should get it.
a sister and a brother and even when we told him you should get them get one yeah and you did and we did that's how that's what we told him it was a really bizarro thing to sit down with him and talk to him about it because it all happened very quickly you just did it to get out of explaining sex to your kid didn't you pretty much yeah
But, but, but by doing that, I still had to explain it.
Yeah.
I was like, you know, so when mommies and daddies make a baby, you know, and they put it in and then, you know, make it, you know, rub it and stimulate it.
So stuff comes out.
Right.
So I still had to explain that to say, we didn't do that.
Someone else did.
Someone else did.
And we are buying that baby.
Yeah.
And that's why you're going to have less toys.
Because we don't have the money for those anymore.
Yeah, we gave you a living toy.
Because we had to buy this baby.
And he just had a look on his face like...
All right, I understand.
Yeah, sure.
I understand.
I'll ask Hashem.
Okay, yeah.
Hold on one second.
Hashem?
I'll ask.
I'll ask Hashem.
And he just, he got real quiet.
Yeah.
And he just walked to the Hashem room.
Yeah.
I remember my stepdad telling me about that when he and my mom told me they were getting married.
I was in high school.
And he said he was actually very impressed about how I handled it.
Like they just told me they were getting married.
I remember both of those moments.
When my mom and my stepdad got married, I was probably 14.
And he said, I just sort of like sat there quietly.
Yeah.
You know, took it in, kind of just got up from the table, went upstairs, put on like shorts and t-shirt and my running shoes and just went jogging.
But it wasn't like I could go like running somewhere and then come back.
We lived in this apartment complex that sort of had a loop.
So like they told me they were getting married and then I just left and they watched me run laps.
Yeah.
Around the building, but yeah, but he said he was well.
It was like around five buildings Yeah, it wasn't just like like a quick lab, right?
But he said he was like, oh, that's I'm very impressed how he's handling this city's dealing with it Yeah, but also when my dad I remember when he told me he was getting remarried the first time yeah I was in sixth grade And I was taking violin lessons and I think the Suzuki and he picked me up and he my mom always picked me up so right away I'm like all right
Okay.
This is after their divorce, obviously.
Yes.
Yes.
They live close by.
How old were you when they got divorced?
I was probably eight.
Yeah.
And so now sixth grade.
Was that devastating?
It was pretty weird.
I have vague memories of it, but I remember being just crying and sitting on the steps and just being really upset and yelling, but I don't remember the moment.
Right.
It's just all kind of vague, but I do remember being upsetting.
But when he was getting remarried the first time, I do remember picking me up from violin.
And that was already something.
I know something's up.
Something's not right.
And then, hey, I thought we'd go get a bite to eat anywhere you want to go.
I was like, all right.
What the fuck is going on?
Yeah.
And there was a sub shop, ironically enough, because I know I do all this sandwich humor stuff, which people are probably like, all right, we get it.
You like sandwiches.
But there was a place that I liked right across the street.
It was more about like, oh, well, let's just go there.
It wasn't like I was going to say, oh, great, let's go to this great place.
I just knew something was up.
Yeah.
So we went there, but it wasn't a sit-down place.
So we get these sandwiches and just go sit in his car in the parking lot.
And it's like, it's facing the school across the street.
And I'm just sitting there kind of, you know, very kind of tight, you know, eating my sub and it's right next to me and, you know, tight to my chest.
And I just, I kind of felt like I knew what was coming.
I'm just trying to think about like what is going on.
Yeah.
And I'm like, oh, I think I know what's about to happen.
So we're sitting there and kind of quietly eating.
And he's like, hey, so, you know, I got some news for you.
And just wanted to let you know that, you know, Shelly and I decided to get married.
And I can just, you know, feel my body just crunching the sandwich.
Super tense and just...
not sure you just didn't know how to handle it but it was upsetting yeah and it shouldn't have been you know it should have been like oh great yeah you know you're great good for you did you like Shelly she was awesome yeah she was so cool but I was just like didn't know how to handle it and so I did I did not say a word just sat there just eating my sandwich probably not even eating it just but just kind of hold on
And we just sat there in silence.
And then he eventually started the car and drove me back to my mom's.
It was really fucking weird.
And I don't think we've ever even talked about it.
Not because we're avoiding it.
I always just forget, but I always just, I want to, I feel like I have to just, what was he?
So just to know what he was thinking that moment, how he felt so weird.
Yeah.
Well, I think it must be weird for parents in general to sort of put adult things on the kids.
I mean, they've got to go on with their lives, but you also want to protect your kid.
But at some point, you're going to have to break this stuff to them.
And what's a kid supposed to do, really?
I mean, it's sort of like this is an adult thing.
All you can do is explain it and just you have to explain how you think is best.
Like even with adopting this baby.
Yeah.
It was so weird.
Because it really happened very quickly.
It wasn't like we were preparing him for it.
We didn't tell him we were in this process because that would just be confusing, I think.
What made you do that?
You just knew you wanted another one and you didn't want to make one or what?
We tried.
We tried to get pregnant.
It didn't happen.
Even before we had kids, we had talked about we were both open to adoption as an option.
So when we were trying again, it wasn't happening.
We decided to turn to adoption and...
we did it and you know it spent a large portion of last year in the process of and and then it all kind of came together very quickly did you know that like my when my brother did they they knew the parents like it was like my brother did that thing where his lawyer or whatever found a woman who was pregnant like all three kids they were there at the birth give or take wow we didn't have that experience i mean my wife met the mom right i did not right but uh it was very brief yeah
But this was a situation, I think a lot of these adoptions now, like the process, I really have to say, was not enjoyable for me at least.
Like part of it was, you know, you go through the clearance of, you know, background checks, security checks, FBI, fingerprints, all that stuff.
Right.
And then you have to wait to get approved.
And then, you know, there's home visits and all this stuff from social workers and all that.
Right.
Once you're cleared, then you put your information out there.
However, you can take ads in the paper, couple looking for baby, whatever.
After you get approved.
After you get approved.
So you get stamped and then, okay, do what you got to do to find a baby.
Yes.
But a lot of people will put profiles online and it's just very open.
Photos of yourselves, photos of your family, and you're selling yourselves.
And there's all sorts of copy and text for profiles.
people that are adopting their babies to read because you're they're trying to find a good family and you're selling yourself as this great family and it's so fucking weird it made me very uncomfortable to just put ourselves out there like that yeah so publicly and there was a really and i always feel like a real just jerk saying this because i don't consider myself famous and i don't consider myself like a known celebrity right but
Like a part of me felt like what if it's like some family and they know who I am from Conan and they know where I live like it made me feel really weird.
Yeah.
And then I also hated myself for even assuming people would know who I am.
Yeah.
I'm like, well, how am I such an asshole that I even think this is a why would I that should be me a factor.
What a jerk, you know, so gross.
But I also felt like I wanted to be somewhat realistic, even though the odds of that are probably huge.
But still, it's like you never know.
And just but for my own craziness, that just made me a little more uncomfortable about even just putting your information out.
And we had this person helping us craft the text like we would submit texts.
Because some of these things are weird.
You don't want to judge because some of these stories are just heartbreaking.
Of the kid?
For these families.
It's like hard not to... You mean why they're putting their kid up for adoption?
No, why people are looking to adopt.
Oh, really?
I mean, the people putting their kids up for an adoption, I mean, I can't even imagine how hard that is.
Right.
And for some people, maybe it's not.
But you read the stories, like you see these profiles, and some of them are just kind of weird.
Some are kind of seem like weirdo people with religious stuff.
Like, we knew it was God's plan.
That kind of thing.
But at the same time, you don't want to judge because people have just tough stories about trying to have kids.
Yeah.
You know, it's just like online dating.
You're just putting yourself out there and hoping that it happens.
And it could take so long.
But it just made me uncomfortable to just be that open and have photos.
And this lady that was helping us with our profile, you know, she's a web person.
She just kept changing the text and just trying to tell us, look, you got to sell yourselves.
You got to sell this.
What does that mean?
I'm a good dad.
I'm telling you, yes.
We'd write things like, John is a blankety-blank and this and this, and it would come back, and it was all written from my wife's perspective, because it's like the mom connecting with the mom.
And there was one thing that this woman helping us wrote, like...
fatherhood is the number one priority in john's life and i'm like fucking no way this is not who we are yeah this is not me yeah i mean yes it's important but to write that that's so on it just was gross and she kept writing it really dramatic and flowering just disgusting to me it was gross and false yeah so we kept telling her stop doing that please and finally got it to where we were okay with it you just put up your conan resume
Yeah, I put my resume up.
I had a great still of me as Wrist Hulk.
I pixeled my face.
I'm like, look, if they're going to figure out it's me, let them do the work.
They'll do the IMDb.
Let them Google Wrist Hulk.
Okay, that's the guy.
Oh, they live in Brooklyn.
Let's save our money and fly there and take photos of them with the baby and we'll kidnap the baby and get them to pay us money if they want it back.
Those were my fantasies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
so everybody john glazer victim of the baby con
But ultimately, you settled on something you were comfortable with.
Well, we were lucky.
The way this went down, it happened like came out of nowhere.
It wasn't like, here's a family.
Here's the deal.
You can go fly and meet them.
Like it all happened not too far outside of New York.
And it happened really quick.
And before we didn't even have to put our profile online.
I was so relieved.
After all that work.
Yes.
Yeah.
But I was very, very happy.
And now you got your beautiful baby and you're happy.
yeah it's really incredible she's so cute yeah and she's really a cute cute baby yeah and and how long has it been now a little over two months wow and it was crazy timing too like we had we were in the and i was always worried it would happen while we were filming delocated and would i be able to go would we have to miss an opportunity yeah because it could take years you just hear these horrors you got to do it yeah
And thankfully it just all happened.
Just crazy timing.
Like, you know, we picked her up the day after we wrapped.
Wow.
It was crazy.
My mom just happened to be in town.
Oh, wow.
She was able to come with us and we could take, uh, uh, you know, take, uh, take Nate to take him out of school, um, and just have him, uh,
be a part of the experience yeah it's okay i know it just i just want to be able to tell the story i'm not ashamed to cry it's hard to get through the story but it was really just uh just great that he could be there to for that moment yeah uh because even telling him the day before that we're going to go you know it's just trying to explain to your
child hey we're gonna pick up a baby tomorrow yes so bizarre yeah you try to explain to him what it means and just the fact that he could go and even the age gap you know that he's older and i think could somewhat understand it and be so excited about it yeah and he's probably met adopted kids before right
I feel like he has.
I'm not sure if he's been aware of it.
So it's you and your mom and your wife and your kid.
Who gives you the baby?
We got to the hospital.
At this point, my wife had been there.
So the kid was still like, how old was it?
She was days old.
Wow.
Yeah, I mean, it was like not even a week old when we picked her up.
It was pretty unreal.
I mean, it was incredible.
And we had to scramble to get things, you know... The room set up and... Yeah, we had nothing because we had just, like, finished our profile.
It wasn't even online yet, and we had to get...
You know there's a lot of scrambling like can you pick up Nate from school?
I got to go to this hospital like calling friends who's got a car seat to take the baby home who's got a co-sleeper Getting a few clothes just to start diapers.
I mean it was really incredible, but it wasn't because it was our second kid.
I think it wasn't as Overwhelming I mean that stuff all happened right away.
I mean that's when you realize and this is also emotion like your friends just Come through for you.
Yeah
And it's so it's so incredible when you see people just like, don't even worry about it.
Go.
We got people showing up with food.
And I will say to come back to all the Jewish stuff, like a lot of these because Nate is not in this preschool anymore.
Right.
So many of these parents and moms that we met at the Jewish school, like we're bringing you food.
We're bringing, we're cooking for you.
We're getting you stuff like awesome.
And like, that's the thing about religion and being Jewish and just that community that I love.
Right.
And that's the aspect of it that I think is great.
Yeah.
And when that happened, it was just,
you know and then it's me like i'm an asshole yeah right of course you know i'm such a jerk like look how great these people how generous yeah and oh god i mean it was incredible yeah really moving um you know but now it's like yeah no fucking hashem in no way but yeah no but you know i mean such good people yeah well that's what it's always supposed to be about that to me is what it's about and not
all the crazy stuff and you know it's just a part of it and it was not even at the school it wasn't like hammered home but it was like just a little too much oh yeah but it made me uncomfortable but it only makes us uncomfortable because what's so familiar and i think that one of the reasons we're uncomfortable is like is that what i'm going to be like there's a stereotype to it and i think that most of our aversion to it is trying to avoid the stereotype
that because we think we're unique or whatever you know but it always comes down to like hey there's ad and you know what i mean it's so familiar that when you when you're an individual and you've built your life around something unique you're like i'm not like that and then one day you're like i'm just gonna sit down you know well i'm always curious about that like because even right now i don't know i feel like i've never been religious and i don't i still don't feel that i don't feel that pull even with this like i don't feel that
But my dad is much more and I always do feel like, oh, am I going to, is that where I'm going to end up just at some point?
Oh, maybe I am more religious or I'll have an epiphany or an experience.
Like my sister just went to Israel and she had said it was super profound.
I mean, I've never had the desire to go.
Same with you.
Yeah.
I went once and I'm like, that's the last time I'm doing that.
Yeah.
but she came back and really not changed.
It's not like she's a different person, but it did affect her.
And they're definitely more religious than me.
And like she, when she came to visit recently, gave my son like a book about going to Israel.
And then there was more like, Oh Jesus Christ, I got to read this book and it's got Hashem in it.
and i'm like how can i fucking where am i gonna hide this book like after we read it the first time and i felt terrible but i'm like i don't want to read this book to him again not yet i mean it just is so weird man yeah but it's good that you have that community around you and congratulations on that sounds really amazing thanks it's it is awesome it's so it's so great it feels like even for me because even for me felt like i don't know i can kind of i like having one and you know selfishly i want to be able to not worry about too much but yeah
once we got that baby and when it all happened it just feels awesome and it does feel good to have two kids and it's really for my son like just that's the best part for me yeah and he's so affectionate with her and he's so sweet and it's and he's also at an age where it's not going to be a competition you know there's enough distance where you're not going to be beating up on each other and
No, that's another, that's, that's one thing I actually love about this age gap.
And just the more went along and the closer we were getting to finishing our profile and like, okay, we're almost ready to do this.
And, you know, we just were meeting people that had those age gaps and I would see kids on the playgrounds.
Oh, how old are your boys?
Oh, you know, nine and four.
Oh, that's the same gap.
And that's going to be awesome when they're older, you know, if they're
sure well i mean because one can look out for the other one and there's not that competition thing you know like because i'm two and a half years from my brother and we beat the shit out of each other yeah because it's like who's this new kid yeah well even when he even the fact that he's old enough to sort of understand and we could explain it to him because even to have to explain well to have to explain a baby in a tummy or an adoption is hard yeah it's so to do it to a almost six year old as opposed to a two and a half or three year old easier huge difference obviously
Well, congratulations on the success of the show and your new family and everything else.
Thanks, ma'am.
Good talking to you.
You too.
That's it.
That's our show.
That's John Glazer.
That was very sweet.
What a great guy.
I hope you enjoyed that.
Please go to the Comedy Works in Denver.
If you're in Denver, tomorrow night, April 6th, and I'll also be there April 7th.
It's going to be good shows.
Love that club.
Independent Comedy Club.
Power to them.
One of the best clubs in the country and also one of the oldest clubs in the country.
It's awesome.
I'm excited to be there.
Go to WTFPod.com.
Get on the mailing list.
Pick yourself up some merch.
Kick in a few shekels.
Find out the details about the app.
Check my schedule there.
It's all available at WTFPod.com.
Also, just coffee.
Pow!
Look out.
I just shit my pants.
Can I still do that?
The link to that, justcoffee.coop at wtfpod.com.
If you get the WTF blend, I get a little on the back end there.
What else can I tell you?
What else can I tell you?
What else can I tell you?
What else can I tell you?
What else can I tell you?
What else can I tell you?
What else can I tell you?
That's like one of those things where now it's supposed to just sort of blur into a dream sequence.