Episode 239 - Josh Blue
Guest:Lock the gates!
Marc:Are we doing this?
Marc:Really?
Marc:Wait for it.
Marc:Are we doing this?
Marc:Wait for it.
Marc:Pow!
Marc:What the fuck?
Marc:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?
Marc:What's wrong with me?
Marc:It's time for WTF!
Guest:What the fuck?
Guest:With Mark Maron.
Guest:Okay, let's do this.
Guest:How are you?
Guest:What the fuckers?
Guest:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fucking ears?
Marc:What the fuck nicks?
Marc:What the fuckleberries?
Marc:All right.
Marc:That's it for today.
Marc:I am Mark Marin.
Marc:This is WTF.
Marc:Thank you for joining me on this day.
Marc:If you're listening the day this goes up, it will be the day after Christmas.
Marc:I hope all is well with you.
Marc:I hope I can offer you some reprieve from whatever you're going through right now.
Marc:I can only assume that for most of you, half of you are having a good time.
Marc:A quarter of you are having a tolerable time.
Marc:And I'd say I'm going to go out on a limb here with this number.
Marc:25% of you are just fucking miserable today.
Marc:I know you're doing your best.
Marc:You're doing what you can.
Marc:You're showing up for what you need to show up for.
Marc:And you need a break.
Marc:Well, I'm going to give you that break.
Marc:I don't know what I have to say.
Marc:I'm not sure what to talk about because quite honestly, I'm on vacation.
Marc:I'm on vacation right now.
Marc:If all went well, what I'm saying to you, and I don't want you to be offended by this.
Marc:I pre-recorded this in order to take a bit of time off.
Marc:I do not know how to take time off.
Marc:Are you enjoying your time off this Christmas, this Hanukkah, this three, two, one week vacation?
Marc:Are you festering?
Marc:Are you tweeting?
Guest:Are you checking your email?
Guest:Are you doing everything you can to avoid your family?
Guest:Just like you do during your regular life, not checking in, just distracted on a different level.
Marc:Man, I need to get my brain off of work.
Marc:Man, I need to get my brain off of my mother.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:I just had this weird experience.
Marc:It wasn't even that weird, really.
Marc:I went over to my first cousin, who I never see.
Marc:He was in town, and he was hanging out at my, I guess, I don't know if it's my second cousin once removed, my father's first cousin's son's house.
Marc:He's married.
Marc:They have kids.
Marc:They all have kids.
Marc:But my father's first cousin was there, Florence, and she must be in her 80s.
Marc:And it's just bizarre that I've gotten so detached from my family.
Marc:I'm one of those people.
Marc:I come from, my parents were of the first generation of Jews to move as far away from their parents as possible for reasons other than fleeing a country.
Marc:They just had to get the fuck away, get as far away as possible.
Marc:And because of that, I don't keep in touch with family.
Marc:that much and i and i don't uh i keep in touch with my parents but i don't see them that much i mean because i have a hard time seeing my parents as parents i i see them as these people i grew up with that had their own problems and you know would occasionally give me money and and uh uh you know stand up for me and tell me what to do when they weren't feeling too insecure but i don't have that weird um
Marc:parental bond with them i would never go to them for advice unless i was in a very traumatic situation but i started to think about how if my parents are screwed up or they are who they are they've got their problems you arguably my father is is a little nuts my mother's got her own issues
Guest:But if your parents are crazy, that means your grandparents did something.
Guest:They fucked up somehow.
Guest:And it's weird when you're a kid, you just know your grandparents.
Guest:It's like, hey, Grandpa Jack is here.
Guest:Grandma Goldie's here.
Guest:Grandpa Ben's here.
Guest:Grandma Eleanor's here.
Guest:They were just your grandparents.
Guest:They got cookies.
Guest:Oh, they bought me a hat.
Guest:Yay, we're going on the rides.
Guest:oh can i eat ice cream at grandma's house i mean those were your grandparents but somewhere in there there might be a monster because something went wrong i mean if you've got parents that you're like oh my god did my parents fucking do a number on me who the hell did a number on you not that guy who brought me the cookies and the pirate hat yep that guy not that nice lady who bought me those pants yep
Guest:They did something.
Guest:Their wiring was screwed up.
Guest:How far back does it go?
Guest:Where was the original crossed wire that led to this never-ending generational repetition of neurotic quirks and tics and self-destructive impulses?
Guest:Is it just a lottery?
Guest:Is it a lottery or is it genetics?
Guest:And what am I complaining about?
Guest:I'm doing all right.
Guest:I just had my gums irrigated.
Guest:That's a racket.
Marc:Hold on.
Marc:Pow!
Marc:I just shit my Christmas pants.
Marc:I'm sorry.
Marc:Merry Christmas.
Marc:God, I hope it's going well.
Marc:Again...
Marc:transcend all that if you can once you figure out the puzzle there you go you figured out the puzzle goes back generations it goes back to that incident it goes back to that guy it goes back to my dad being this to my mom doing that to that priest doing that well that's all right that's a bit much to that camp counselor hey come on get your brain out of there to that babysitter all right
Marc:Whatever it is, you can change your life.
Marc:Do it right now.
Marc:Let's just change our lives for a minute.
Marc:You ready?
Marc:All right, I'm a new person.
Marc:Here we go.
Marc:60, 59, 58.
Marc:How does it feel to be a new person?
Marc:It's all it takes.
Marc:58, 57.
Marc:No, it's where I'm 50 now, right?
Marc:50.
Marc:I like the way I am now.
Marc:I really think I'm going to enjoy this person.
Marc:45, 44.
Marc:He's starting to annoy me.
Marc:40, 39.
Marc:I'm not sure I like this new mark.
Marc:35.
Marc:Shut up with the counting.
Marc:What's with the counting?
Marc:This new mark is into counting down.
Marc:28, 27.
Marc:Oh, God damn it.
Marc:I'm driving myself nuts.
Marc:Fuck Newmark.
Marc:I couldn't last 30 seconds.
Marc:We'll just have to accept who we are.
Marc:You with me?
Marc:Josh Blue is on.
Marc:Josh Blue, of course, from Last Comic Standing.
Marc:You might know him as the comic that has cerebral palsy.
Marc:that's who josh blue is he's a comedian transcends cp goes up on stage and does comedy transcends a physically disfiguring condition if i feel fat i'm uncomfortable on stage if i'm irritable i'm uncomfortable on stage
Marc:I mean, I got on stage with a cold sore once and almost came unhinged and had to spend 15 minutes talking about it.
Marc:Josh Blue, I talked to a while back.
Marc:This is a good interview for the day after Christmas when most of us should be feeling grateful and close to our families.
Marc:We're probably feeling lonely and sorry for ourselves.
Marc:Is that just me?
Marc:10, 9, 8.
Marc:Shut the fuck up, Newmark.
Marc:It takes a lot of work for me to be funny, it feels like.
Marc:Do you?
Guest:Um, no, it just kind of pours out of me.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:It's a gift.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Got cerebral palsy, you know?
Guest:Something fucked up in my brain, but something happened right up there, too, you know?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Well, now...
Marc:Cerebral palsy, you are the way you are.
Marc:There's no progressive.
Guest:It doesn't get worse.
Guest:It doesn't get better.
Guest:This is it.
Guest:These are the cards.
Marc:Fucking play them.
Marc:Where did you grow up?
Guest:I grew up in St.
Guest:Paul, but I was actually born in Cameroon, West Africa.
Guest:Jesus.
Guest:Why were you guys in Africa?
Guest:My dad was teaching English at a mission.
Guest:okay so so you grew up in a religious family um yeah well they tried to make us religious but it didn't take on any of us there's four siblings i'm the youngest and we hate church yeah but do you remember growing up in cameroon
Guest:I was, like, one when we left there, so I don't remember Cameroon much.
Guest:Obviously, lots of stories and pictures growing up.
Guest:This cool talking point when you were a kid.
Guest:That's my pacemaker.
Guest:Sorry.
Guest:God, you really fucked up.
Guest:But we moved from Cameroon to St.
Guest:Paul, Minnesota, which is...
Guest:I can't think of two more opposite ends of the world.
Guest:But did you say you spent time in Senegal, too?
Guest:I did.
Guest:When I was 15, we moved back to Africa.
Guest:We went to Senegal.
Guest:But I was teaching English at a university this time.
Guest:So a little less religious.
Guest:I was teaching American Lit and English.
Marc:I can't imagine what it would be like just to be...
Marc:I don't know what the hell Senegal even looks like.
Marc:I mean, it's in Africa, right?
Guest:Yeah, it's the westernmost country of Africa.
Marc:I know they have beautiful music.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:I've listened to the Senegalese music.
Marc:But I don't know anything else about it.
Guest:It's a spectacular country.
Guest:They have the Goree Island, which is the island where all the slaves went out of.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:So, like, there's this one door.
Guest:It's called the Door of No Return.
Guest:And, like, millions upon millions of Africans...
Guest:went through this one door to get on boats to come over here.
Guest:It's like the creepiest.
Guest:You feel something deep in your soul when you walk in that place.
Guest:You're like, holy shit.
Marc:It's creepy.
Marc:So you were 15, so you have clear memories of all that.
Marc:Pretty clear.
Marc:There's been a lot of pot since then.
Marc:Just layers of THC.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Now, when you, like, in Senegal, because we were talking last night, and you said, you know, you can speak several different languages.
Guest:I speak French and Wolof, which is the native of Senegal.
Marc:And now, do you ever riff in Wolof?
Marc:I mean, can you ever...
Guest:I've done some bits in Wolof where I teach the audience a phrase or something.
Guest:It's like a repeat after me thing, and people are like, what is he saying?
Marc:But I just can't imagine, because your speech is a little compromised because of the CP, but then I imagine...
Marc:Speaking another language, people have to take a minute to sort of go like, oh, is he just talking?
Marc:Or is this English?
Guest:Is this really fucking happening?
Guest:What is this?
Guest:Did he just lose it?
Marc:Now, can you speak to other Senegalese people and be understood?
Guest:I speak pretty well, actually.
Guest:It's a weird chameleon.
Guest:My dad speaks 13 languages.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So everybody in my family speaks at least three.
Guest:So it's like language is weird for us.
Guest:Like some people can do math just easy.
Guest:I cannot.
Guest:But like language, I just understand it.
Guest:It's weird.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:I haven't got the brain for it.
Guest:But I love speaking Wolof.
Guest:It's actually my favorite language to speak.
Guest:It's very sing-songy and kind of playful.
Guest:A lot of razzing, busting balls.
Guest:It's fun.
Guest:It's cool because there's a lot of Senegalese people around the world that they sell those knockoff purses.
Marc:Is that the Senegalese business?
Guest:Yeah, knockoff shit, yeah.
Marc:So in New York, all those cats you see with the briefcases full of the purses and the watches?
Guest:The majority of those guys are Senegalese.
Guest:And why is that?
Guest:They're just the vendors of the world.
Guest:It's weird.
Guest:They're very aggressive sellers.
Guest:Like when you go to the market in Senegal or Dakar...
Guest:that's what they will follow you down the street trying to sell you this little statue you're like dude i'm cool thanks man i already got five you sold me yesterday oh yeah i like you but i gotta move on yeah so do you surprise them when you can you're able to speak what is it wolof wolof yeah it blows their mind man they're like who's this homeless guy speaking my language like that like they must just laugh and laugh
Guest:Yeah, it's fun.
Guest:Because I just go right and bust their balls right away.
Guest:Because that's the thing.
Guest:My dad speaks really well grammatically and vocabulary.
Guest:But I can talk street.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Just a jive talking motherfucker.
Guest:People will glom onto me just because, like, how do you even know to say something like that?
Guest:That's just the stuff I want to learn is how do I communicate and make them laugh in their culture.
Marc:And it works.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I just can't imagine the feeling of this white dude.
Marc:On top of that, you've got the CP and you're just like riffing in their language.
Guest:Yeah, it's insane.
Guest:And actually, the last time I was there, when I was in college, I did an internship in a zoo.
Guest:In Senegal?
Guest:In Dakar, yeah.
Guest:So you went back?
Guest:I went back.
Guest:I've been to Senegal three times.
Guest:I went once when I was 15, and then the day after I graduated high school, I went back for three months and was supposed to do, like, an independent project.
Guest:And my dad was leading the course.
Guest:I never did that paper, but...
Marc:You got away with that one.
Marc:So you said you worked at a zoo?
Guest:Yeah, I did in Dakar.
Marc:Are you an animal guy?
Guest:I love animals.
Guest:Actually, when I grew up, I thought I was going to be a zookeeper or something like that.
Marc:Well, you kind of are.
Marc:You're a stand-up.
Marc:Late night Friday is pretty close.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:Bye.
Guest:Back, I say back.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Because someone told me that you're sort of obsessed with finding bones and stuff.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:I'm kind of a, yeah, it's a weird collection.
Marc:What is that about?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:You go searching for bones?
Guest:I think if I was more able-bodied, I'd probably be a serial killer.
Marc:Why didn't you go with maybe archaeologists?
Marc:Why has it got to be a serial killer?
Guest:No, just because of the thoughts I have.
Marc:Oh, no.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:So when you did the zoo work, what did that entail?
Guest:It was insane.
Guest:Like, you know, in America, there's lots of rules and restrictions.
Marc:About zoos?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Like keeping the animal in cages?
Marc:Yeah, you know, not getting in the cages with them.
Guest:Like the first day I was there, they gave me a broom and they're like, okay, we're going to go clean the tiger cage now.
Guest:Like, what the fuck?
Guest:And like, the tiger, they just put it in a separate little cage.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But it's still right fucking there.
Guest:And it's like going...
Guest:Like the most terrifying.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Because it's in, like, a concrete cage, so it's just echoey, too.
Guest:It's terrifying.
Marc:Oh, Jesus Christ.
Marc:And you were, like, what, 18, 19?
Guest:I was 20 at that point.
Marc:Now, when did... Wait, I've got to hear some of this language.
Marc:Like, how would you say... Yes, insult me in Wolof.
Guest:Yo, tubab sabakandakabumak.
Guest:i said uh yo white man your nose is very big i like the way that sounds it's it's very like like i said playful and sing-songy yeah it's just fun everything is like a bargain and like you know like if you're gonna buy a tomato they'll tell you it's eight dollars and you're like nah dude it's four cents and then it just goes back yeah it's just playful and like
Guest:You must be crazy.
Guest:Are you serious?
Guest:Eight bucks?
Guest:And they just love it.
Marc:And when you just haggle.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Total haggle culture.
Marc:So I should always haggle when I'm about to buy a fake Gucci purse?
Guest:Never pay the first price.
Marc:Seriously.
Marc:They'll think you're an idiot.
Marc:Well, they're fucking you, dude.
Marc:No matter what.
Guest:No matter what.
Guest:Even if you bargain them down like 40 bucks, they're still robbing you.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Where do they get that shit?
Marc:I guess they get it... I went to China.
Marc:You ever been to China?
Marc:I have not.
Marc:They make it all there.
Marc:So you can actually go to the original markets where the knockoffs are made and get it for nothing.
Marc:It's not on us to figure out economics, but I don't know how they make that shit so cheap.
Marc:So when did...
Marc:Has the CP ever been... Was there a period where you had to overcome the kind of... Like you had this moment in your mind where you're like, I'm not going to be bullied or looked at like a victim in that whole movement or that sense of it?
Guest:Yeah, you know, it's weird.
Guest:It's like a slow progression of that.
Guest:Like a lot of just little things where I think I kind of just realized that...
Guest:Well, it was when I smoked pot.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I just realized that it's not about my disability.
Guest:It's just about how I go forth and deal with it.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Not really give a fuck what people... Because a lot of times people aren't trying to be mean to me.
Guest:They're just ignorant.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But it's very condescending.
Guest:And when you deal with that your whole life, well, you find ways to deal with it.
Guest:And I guess humor was...
Guest:You know, because if I can say something funny to them... Right.
Guest:...before they can say something mean about me, when they say the mean thing, they just look like assholes.
Marc:Right.
Marc:You know?
Marc:But what is it?
Marc:Like, mean must be one thing.
Marc:That's sort of anticipated.
Marc:But I imagine the sort of, like, condescending, like, talking to you like you're a child kind of thing, that must be more annoying.
Guest:I get that all the time.
Guest:I mean, still, well...
Guest:Like, part of the reason why I wanted to be famous and be on TV is because my whole life I've already been stared at, right?
Guest:Right.
Guest:And it's like, I want to give people a reason to stare at me that's positive, where they're like, hey, that's that guy, not like, look at that drunk fucking homeless guy wandering around over there.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know?
Guest:And what I didn't realize going into this is that
Guest:No matter how famous I get, there'll still be... That guy.
Guest:People going, oh, look at this fucking guy.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:You know?
Marc:And, you know... But even once they know, like, I mean, I imagine, like, that... Like, by doing stand-up...
Marc:And overcoming that, there's that initial thing.
Marc:Because I had a friend in junior high who became one of my best friends, Dean.
Marc:And he had CP.
Marc:And the first time I saw him at school, he was walking across the gym.
Marc:And I thought he was fucking around.
Marc:So I was like, hey, why are you fucking walking like that?
Marc:And then he's like, because this is how I walk.
Marc:And then, you know, I felt so bad that and then we became very close friends and he was a drummer in a band I had.
Marc:But there's that moment where people don't know and then they do know.
Marc:And then I have to imagine it doesn't get any better when they feel shitty and then they feel sorry for you.
Marc:And then you have to, you know, sort of kind of ground yourself as like, I'm just a person, you asshole.
Marc:Just relax.
Guest:right exactly and it is weird like depending on my mood yeah whether i am polite about it or i just play it up or like you know just i mean do you do that fuck yeah dude airplanes i don't give a shit so so if you if you might be able to get a little bit of benefit out of the overacting you could do why not i mean if i gotta walk around like this at least i gotta use some of the benefits man
Guest:So what are some of those benefits?
Marc:Good seats on airplanes?
Guest:Free beer a lot.
Guest:People are like, you're obviously too drunk.
Guest:I have terrible problems.
Guest:Oh, I'm so sorry.
Guest:Really my own main goal.
Marc:So what was the decision to do comedy?
Marc:How old were you when you started doing that?
Guest:I started in college, actually.
Guest:I went to a very progressive school called the Evergreen State College.
Guest:It's in Olympia, Washington.
Marc:One of those hippie schools where you can major in shoes.
Guest:Yep.
Guest:Basket weaving.
Guest:Shit like that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, no grades.
Guest:It's pass, fail.
Guest:They give you evaluations.
Guest:Actually, that's when I did the internship at the zoo.
Guest:So I just did a bunch of shit in college, and then literally a bunch of random shit.
Guest:Writing, theater, and then I started doing stand-up my senior year, and I got credit for it my last quarter.
Marc:What kind of theaters did you do?
Marc:It must have been interesting.
Guest:Yeah, drama.
Guest:It was a class called The Empty Stage.
Guest:It should have fucking stayed empty.
Guest:It was a bunch of shitty college hippie kids trying to perform a serious, what was it, Danton's death.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I don't even know that one.
Guest:Yeah, it's about the French Revolution.
God, awful.
Yeah.
Guest:theater's a little rough dude so you started doing stand-up in college and then you uh and you ended up so how'd you end up in denver because you live here yeah i uh really didn't have any clue what i was gonna do in my life and then my friend liz was like hey want to move to denver with me i'm like fuck it yeah sure and your folks are cool with you
Guest:Yeah, they always wanted me to grow up to be a surgeon, but... Come on.
Marc:But you get along with them, and they're proud.
Guest:Yeah, they're really cool.
Guest:They're very hands-off.
Marc:Always?
Guest:Yeah, you know, like, they've always, like, I think the four years I was in college, they called me four times.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah, like, they're like, bye!
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Have fun!
Guest:and they still live in minnesota and all my other siblings live there so i'm kind of the odd man out but what's the age difference what's the order my brother is 40 so you're the youngest one and i'm 32 he's the oldest he's the oldest yeah and you're the youngest yeah so okay so you come here you start doing stand-up and uh
Marc:What was the first kind of, I mean, obviously when I first saw you, there's that moment where you're like, oh, that's his hook.
Marc:He's got the thing.
Marc:Right.
Guest:It's hard to get past that hook, man.
Guest:It's a heavy hook.
Guest:It's in me deep.
Marc:i was born with that but there's like there's a moment there where you had to know where because i've seen you a few times and you know at first the audience i i mean i still it's interesting because you're pretty popular and people know who you are but a lot of times people don't know who you are right and there's that first five minutes where they're like oh man i just i don't do we have what's gonna happen what the fuck
Marc:Right.
Marc:And then they don't know whether they feel bad or whether it's going to be funny.
Marc:But then, you know, through the edge of your comedy, you kind of transcend the thing and you turn it in on them.
Marc:And they feel a lot more comfortable and they realize that, oh, he knows he's like this and he seems to be OK with it.
Guest:Well, my thing is I just want to let people know that I'm so comfortable with who I am that you don't have any right not to be comfortable with me.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Don't pity me.
Guest:Yeah, don't pity me.
Guest:And that's the thing.
Guest:The pity thing, I never got that because I've never once asked for anyone's pity in my life.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:If you pity me, I pity you because I'm going to steal your wallet and, like, fuck your girlfriend.
Yeah.
Marc:And they'd be like, yeah, just do it, honey, because he's got the thing.
Marc:Help the guy out.
Guest:It'll be quick.
Marc:Okay, so then how does the last Comic Standing thing happen?
Guest:So I...
Guest:I auditioned the year before I got on there.
Guest:So I was in Chicago, waited in the line.
Marc:Oh, really?
Guest:Six hours.
Marc:Oh, you did that whole sort of casting call shit?
Guest:Six hours, 15 below.
Guest:It was at Zany's.
Marc:How long had you been doing comedy at that point?
Guest:I had already had a NACA showcase.
Marc:Okay, for the colleges?
Guest:Yeah, so I did a lot.
Guest:I was pretty big in the college market.
Guest:So you had an hour?
Thank you.
Guest:Barely.
Guest:Barely.
Guest:And then the first time I auditioned, I made it like a minute into my thing.
Guest:And they're like, thank you.
Guest:Next.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:For NACA?
Guest:Oh, no.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Thank you.
Marc:Next.
Marc:So you wait six hours.
Marc:And then they're like, OK.
Guest:Nope.
Guest:And I was like, OK.
Guest:And then when I was leaving, I think this is what got it.
Guest:When I walked by the two judges, I go, this is a shitty make-a-wish.
Guest:yeah and they laughed at that yeah i laughed and then the next year i didn't want to do it again just because i'm like well obviously they're not looking for funny things they're just looking for a hook
Guest:And then I remember that I have that hook.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I actually got the call in in the set audition.
Marc:So when you first did it, you weren't talking about the cerebral palsy at all, or you were?
Guest:I was, but it just wasn't.
Marc:Working?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:They thought that maybe that was all you had?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I probably was at that point, you know?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then, you know, I was really glad actually that I didn't get it that first time.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then the second time I had like, you know, 40 college gigs in between there and a bunch of other road work, Wyoming.
Guest:If you can make people laugh in Wyoming, then...
Guest:Something's good.
Guest:You know, you're surviving the road and doing that.
Guest:And then I got on there, and once I got on, I just went for it.
Guest:Like, I knew it was a game.
Guest:It's just a game.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And it's an opportunity to...
Guest:like i said make people look at me in a different way right so i just attacked it like that you know and i was like catch me if you can motherfuckers like this is a game there's a set of rules i'm gonna play by the rules i'm not gonna be dirty this is tv right and then my thing is like i play by the rules until i don't have to anymore and then i'll be like fuck you thank you nbc bye yeah yeah
Guest:And I was really fortunate because the year that I won was the last year that they didn't, like, force everybody into a contract.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Guest:So I got to just go on the road by myself.
Marc:Oh, that's good.
Guest:So the year after me, all five finalists had to tour together.
Marc:Right.
Guest:So you got a bunch of money.
Guest:I just got to go and do my own thing by myself.
Marc:And did you win it?
Marc:I won, yeah.
Marc:Because I remember that time, because you were all over the place, it was a big tour, and you were selling out and stuff?
Guest:Selling everywhere, man, it was spectacular.
Guest:In Minnesota I sold out a 2,500 seat theater twice in one night.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Sick, man.
Marc:Well, I think what's great about, you know, when you look at it, I mean, I guess people can be condescending or they can think like, you know, well, he's got the built-in hook or whatever.
Marc:But I think as far as comedy goes, the kernel of comedy that really has an effect on everybody is the idea that we can overcome these obstacles, whatever they are in our lives, is that people want relief.
Marc:from their particular bit of bullshit.
Marc:And I imagine that some people look at the hand you've been dealt as like, well, that's some deep bullshit to overcome.
Marc:So I think on any level, the comedy in terms of transcending adversity must have a lot of impact for a lot of people.
Guest:Well, it's amazing that my fans are so fucking loyal to me.
Guest:Right.
Guest:They support me.
Guest:Like, every club always says, your fans are just so nice to us.
Guest:And they, like, come here, and they laugh, and they tip good.
Guest:And it's like a good, wholesome crowd.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I go up there, and they're expecting the last call.
Guest:I'm like, motherfuckers!
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Like, oh, yeah.
Guest:But they still go aboard, and they...
Marc:They'll tolerate that?
Guest:They tell her, you know?
Guest:Like, and then the old ladies come up, like, we like you just because you're so clean.
Guest:I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Guest:Did you hear me?
Guest:Didn't hear me.
Guest:They probably didn't, but...
Marc:So how long has it been?
Marc:So what year did you win last Comic Sans?
Marc:06.
Marc:So it's been like five years.
Marc:I've been riding that wave, baby.
Marc:Is it still working now?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, I'm still touring pretty much every weekend.
Guest:I mean, tickets are down, but... Yeah.
Guest:What else, you know?
Marc:Now, are you still writing a lot of new material, do you find?
Guest:Yeah, you know what?
Guest:I actually just filmed an hour special.
Marc:Independent?
Guest:Yep.
Guest:New Wave.
Guest:And it's being shopped around right now, so...
Marc:Are they going to run it on Comedy Central or are you looking for some other venue?
Marc:Hopefully.
Marc:Yeah?
Guest:Hopefully.
Marc:And when you write material, how much would you say in your act, percentage-wise, is about CP and how much of it is just shit?
Guest:It's all just shit.
Marc:No, I mean, you know, just observational stuff.
Guest:You know, it's really cool, man.
Guest:I feel like the last special I did just is a huge turning point for me.
Guest:I realize I don't have to talk about it.
Guest:I'm funny, whatever.
Guest:I can go out the crowd.
Guest:I can do things.
Guest:I got the new wave thing, and they're like, you have eight months to write a new hour.
Guest:And I did it, and it felt great.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:And then after that hour was done, I was like...
Guest:I can't say these fucking jokes anymore.
Guest:I'm tired of these things.
Guest:The stuff I did last night, that's all new.
Guest:I'm on this pace now where it just feels right to do it and I realize when you finally embrace it, you know what I mean?
Guest:This is your job.
Guest:I actually put some thought into it instead of just going up there and talking out of my ass for an hour.
Marc:And do you do outside of the stand-up?
Marc:Tell me about some of these other things you do.
Marc:With the lectures and stuff like that that you mentioned.
Guest:Yeah, I do some keynote speeches.
Guest:The first one I did was Evergreen, the college I went to.
Guest:So that was really cool.
Guest:They invited me back, and I got to do that.
Guest:It was basically graduating class.
Marc:Oh, so that was a commencement speech.
Guest:It was a commencement, and it was like 10,000 people there.
Marc:And you've got to be a little serious, right?
Guest:I think I'm the first person ever to say asshole in the commencement speech.
Marc:You get a certain license, man.
Marc:I do, and I use it.
Guest:He can't control that.
Marc:But what did you say?
Marc:Because you do more of them, right?
Marc:I do, yeah.
Marc:And do you speak to other people with your particular issue, or do you speak in general?
Guest:Colleges, a lot of colleges.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Whatever, and they come up, you know, a lot of kids see my name, they just want to come and laugh.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, basically my motivational speech is like,
Guest:Like, I don't know, people always say, like, oh, it's so inspirational what you've done with your life.
Guest:I'm like, well, it's really uninspirational what you haven't done shit and there's nothing wrong with you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'm very, like, uninspirational.
Guest:It's basically me scolding them for being lazy fucks.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Thrown in with some other jokes and shit.
Guest:Some stories about Africa and being a white African-American and...
Marc:Oh, yeah?
Marc:Those are jokes?
Marc:That's another series of jokes?
Guest:Yeah, I totally go off on the whole being white African-American.
Marc:Well, I guess that's an interesting thing.
Marc:I mean, how when you were in Africa and you were white and, you know, and was... I can't... Like, see, because I'm not... I don't know if I'm xenophobic, but I generally get uncomfortable when I feel isolated.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And I have to assume that, you know, that must be a feeling you deal with quite often.
Mm-hmm.
Guest:And like being in another country that is primarily black, I mean, was there a struggle to be accepted or did you feel... Yeah, I mean, definitely when I was 15, that was a very trying time to be there because that's really when you're learning about the world, you're figuring shit out, like real world shit.
Guest:And the fact that I got to go to a third world country to figure that out and go, wow, these people are...
Guest:living very simply and they seem very happy and they're dealing with their shit and I can stop being a bitch about my disability because when I go home I can turn on the water
Guest:And it comes out of the faucet.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I can drink that shit.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So, I mean, that was big.
Guest:I mean, the one thing is I think a lot of Senegalese people, when they'd see me, you know, they'd never seen a white guy with cerebral palsy before.
Guest:They'd go, hey, they have them too, huh?
Guest:Right.
Marc:That's interesting.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So...
Marc:But I like that, the transition between sort of identifying yourself as a victim changed when you saw that people live in adverse circumstances and that you, no matter what, were doing all right.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, I'm very grateful that I got to experience it.
Guest:I think every American should have to go live in Africa for a few months.
Guest:I think it would really change.
Guest:I didn't get culture shock there.
Guest:I got it when I came back.
Marc:yeah just all the waste we have and everything like well it must be so much simpler and and in some way a lot more honest yeah yeah so when you uh but i'm still kind of fascinated with these like with these expectations of you that when you speak to colleges i mean do do you find that that kids are because i have to assume that you know given the culture we live in and the ideas about bullying and about you know how how
Marc:Because kids can be assholes.
Marc:So I imagine that you speak to that on some level, too.
Marc:I mean, in that when people go to see you, that it probably changes their mind about how they look at other people and how they treat other people.
Guest:Well, just preconceived ideas of people.
Marc:Oh, right, right, right.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:People always just assume because of the way I walk that I'm also mentally retarded.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:It's like, oh, thank you.
Guest:I'm probably smarter than you, asshole.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And it's just, I try to confront that, you know what I mean?
Guest:Just take a minute.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Don't just... Dismiss somebody out of an assumption.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:All right, so tell me about the weed, man.
Marc:When did weed start happening?
Yeah.
Marc:Because you're a big proponent, right?
Guest:Yeah, it's my medicine.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:I guess you didn't... I'm sure you got a card.
Marc:I do, yep.
Marc:Yeah, I mean, Denver, like, it seems like there's weed dispensaries everywhere.
Marc:There might be one in the hotel.
Guest:It's a boom town, man.
Guest:Like, when they passed the bill, I've never seen it.
Guest:Like, the closest thing to, like, the Wild West.
Guest:Like, within, like, weeks, there was, like, 300 dispensaries.
Marc:No shit.
Marc:It was just boom.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And when did you start smoking weed?
Guest:I think the first time it was a 15.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Were you in Senegal?
Guest:No.
Guest:It was before we left.
Guest:But we got some... They have weed in Senegal.
Guest:It's not great, but definitely had some there.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And when you smoked it, like...
Marc:I haven't smoked weed in about 12 years, but did it help your mind in any way?
Marc:Did it change the way you thought about things in terms of where you're at?
Guest:Kind of.
Guest:Again, it just makes me go, hey, it doesn't matter what people think about the way you move.
Guest:I love that.
Guest:People are like, does weed make you feel better?
Guest:No, it fucks me up worse, man.
Guest:I just like the buzz.
Marc:I'm asking all the hacky questions of a guy who's like, because I get nervous.
Marc:I don't always know if I behave properly around people.
Marc:Because if I'm around people who are different or I know have a completely different experience than me, there's some part of me that thinks, well, how am I going to connect?
Marc:If it's not about me, how do I talk to this guy?
Marc:But you're a comic, so we're doing all right.
Guest:Yeah, we're fine, right?
Guest:You like me, right?
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:That's how I feel.
Guest:I'm the same fucking way, dude.
Guest:I just want your appreciate, you know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Okay, what's the next question?
Guest:How can I tiptoe around the palsy more?
Marc:Well, you said you had some negative vibes about Last Comic Standing.
Marc:What was it?
Guest:Yeah, I feel like I'm never going to get the respect of, well, people like you, Mark.
Guest:Come on.
Guest:Because I feel like it's one of those things that, like, it is a dumb reality TV show.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then I feel like a lot of times people don't give me credit as a comic.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Because I did that show.
Guest:And...
Guest:You know, I'd like to see where my career would be without that.
Guest:I mean, I really feel like I can do this and I'm really good at comic.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:No, it's weird because like I said, when I first saw you, you almost feel bad.
Marc:Comics are selfish, angry little fucks.
Marc:And we're all competitive and jealous and fucked up.
Marc:I'm not going to say all of us, but over the years, my opinion of what is real comedy or what isn't real comedy and all this shit.
Marc:And I just think that initially you think, well, that's all he's got.
Marc:But then when you see you and you're doing an hour and you're doing just jokes about whatever and you've established yourself as a comedic voice, you have to be reckoned with.
Marc:But I think the only people who would judge you in a different way are people that hold you to the standard of the guy with the problem.
Guest:Right.
Marc:It's almost like a weird jealousy.
Marc:It's like, well, he's born with it.
Marc:It's almost like he had his act already.
Guest:Yeah, how could I win against that?
Guest:Did you feel that when you were doing Nice Comic Standing?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:You don't have to mention names, but there was definitely some jealousy.
Guest:Yeah, I mean, I think...
Guest:I've heard it from many people that there were people on the show that were like, well, what chance do we have?
Guest:You know, people just pity voting for him.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:And that hurts, you know what I mean?
Guest:Because I'm like, are you watching this yet?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:People laugh at this.
Guest:It goes back to the set of rules.
Guest:Just be funny.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:All the fucking time.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And then they're like, but that must suck because that's something you had to deal with your whole fucking life.
Marc:But I think that because of the anger around Last Comic Standing, you're like, fuck you.
Marc:I'm going to, you know, I just did an hour.
Marc:I'm doing, I'm touring.
Marc:You know, who the fuck are you to judge me?
Guest:Right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Because there's not that many people that do it that have issues like you have.
Marc:I can only remember like a few in my career.
Marc:And I've been doing this like 25 years.
Marc:I think there was a dude out of, wasn't there a dude out of here, Jeff Valdez?
Marc:No, that's another guy.
Marc:Chris Fonseca.
Marc:Chris Fonseca, yeah.
Guest:That hates my guts.
Marc:No.
Guest:Yeah, he hates me.
Guest:Why?
Guest:Absolutely.
Guest:He says I stole his act.
Guest:He's got the same thing you do.
Guest:He has cerebral palsy, too.
Guest:I'm like, dude, I have cerebral palsy, too.
Guest:I'm just talking about my life.
Guest:I'm sorry that you think I was born just to steal your fucking act.
Guest:That is so horrible.
Guest:It's hilarious, dude.
Guest:He has done nothing to...
Marc:Help me at all.
Marc:I mean, is he still around?
Marc:I can't remember.
Guest:Yeah, he's married to one of the Brady Bunch girls.
Guest:Really?
Guest:He lives out in L.A.?
Guest:Wasn't he from here?
Guest:He's in Colorado Springs.
Guest:But he come from here, right?
Guest:Yeah, I think so.
Guest:Yeah, I mean, I just, yeah.
Guest:Oh, he hates me.
Guest:He'll get online and just write the meanest shit about it.
Marc:So there's fucking two of you in this business that have this point of view, and he's fucking on your shit about it?
Uh-huh.
Guest:That's fucking ridiculous.
Guest:And he accused me.
Guest:I have this joke about being, I'm not drunk, I have cerebral palsy.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then he wrote out of the thing, he goes, you stole that from Jerry Jewell, who was on Facts of Life.
Guest:And I was like, I was too when Facts of Life was on, dude.
Guest:Sorry.
Marc:It's so fucking bizarre to me that there's not enough room in the world for you two guys to
Guest:Check this out.
Guest:I've really created a monster here.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because I just randomly went to an open mic in town in Denver.
Guest:And before me, there were two other people with cerebral palsy on.
Guest:Come on.
Guest:I swear to God.
Guest:I swear to God.
Guest:And they put them on right before me.
Guest:So it was like three in a row.
Guest:And I'm like, this is awkward.
Guest:Like, I've created a monster.
Marc:And what were their jokes?
Marc:I mean, did you feel like they were hacking you?
Guest:One girl was really good.
Guest:I mean, she was really good.
Guest:Another girl was not as good.
Marc:But did you feel threatened in any way?
Marc:Were you like, what the fuck?
Guest:That's my limp joke.
Marc:Or just that, like, you know, this is my market, man.
Guest:No, it just makes me laugh.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:It just makes me laugh.
Guest:Because I know that there's enough people out there for all of us to have fans.
Guest:And people who like us.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:I don't give a shit.
Guest:And I just think it's funny.
Guest:Like, what?
Marc:Really?
Marc:Really?
Marc:Do you ever do specifically CP events?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Uh-huh, yeah, I'm with United Cerebral Palsy.
Guest:I've done lots of big events for them.
Marc:And what are those, usually stand-up shows or the speaking thing?
Marc:Stand-up.
Marc:Yeah?
Marc:So do you have a room full of people with CP?
Guest:Yeah, a lot of times it's family, but I have probably the best and worst gig ever.
Guest:I actually did a half-hour show for the opening of the Special Olympics.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Marc:And why was that the worst gig ever?
Guest:Because it was for the Special Olympics, man.
Guest:It was fucking terrible, dude.
Guest:It was fucking terrible.
Guest:Why?
Guest:It was terrible.
Guest:It was terrible.
Guest:Why?
Guest:What do you joke about?
Guest:I can't.
Guest:It was terrible, man.
Guest:It was awful.
Guest:True.
Guest:I was making jokes about marshmallows, and I was just talking about shit in the room.
Guest:You see the colorful flame?
Guest:They loved it.
Guest:That was the thing.
Guest:But inside, I died, dude.
Marc:Why?
Marc:You're helping people, man.
Guest:Helping.
Guest:Come on, America.
Guest:Come on, man.
Guest:Help me.
Marc:So your problem was you're dealing with people with more severe... You're dealing with a lot of people with mental disabilities, which you don't have.
Guest:Right.
Marc:And they were just excited that you moved like them a little bit.
Guest:Yeah, and they could relate to the movement, maybe.
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:They were laughing out of context and making noises.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:It's not...
Guest:And that's like a Friday Late Show times a billion.
Marc:A Friday Late Show without alcohol and it's worse.
Marc:It's worse.
Guest:And I went up afterward and I stayed there and shook hands.
Marc:So sad, huh?
Guest:No, it made me glad that I did it.
Guest:They came and gave me hugs.
Guest:You're great.
Guest:This one dude, he came up and he's just this big beast of a man.
Guest:He comes up and he goes...
Guest:Does your wife know you stole her headband?
Guest:He's making a joke.
Guest:He busts my balls.
Guest:I was like, fuck you, dude.
Guest:Come on.
Marc:That's kind of touching, though.
Marc:You can't be too mad about that.
Marc:No.
Marc:They must have paid you pretty well.
Guest:They paid me real good.
Guest:That's the only way I ever would have done that.
Marc:And now, how long have you been married?
Guest:I've been married, I don't know.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:For some time now.
Marc:Really?
Marc:You can't figure it out?
Marc:Three years.
Marc:Yeah?
Marc:How'd you meet her?
Guest:uh she's my ex-girlfriend's friend oh really i pulled the old switcheroo man uh-huh and are they still friends not so much not so much and you have kids two how old one and three wow the boy is the older little baby girl
Marc:And is CP genetic?
Marc:Nope.
Marc:Just a freak thing?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, I didn't mean that calling you a freak, but you know.
Guest:I'm going to cry.
Marc:I don't feel like I'm doing myself any disservice here.
Marc:I'm not making myself wicked during this interview.
Marc:Your kid's retarded too.
Marc:I didn't mean that.
Marc:I don't know about it.
Guest:Are you going to play Special Olympics?
Marc:I know my friend had it, and my dad, who was a surgeon, thought he could help him somehow, but he probably couldn't.
Guest:No.
Guest:Well, you could probably release some of the tension.
Marc:Oh, do they have surgery for that kind of stuff?
Guest:Yeah, they do.
Guest:Crazy shit.
Marc:But it sounds like it's one of those things where if you're used to the way you walk and move, to just go through a fucking surgery and be in post-physical therapy.
Guest:But I'm fortunate where I'm cool with it.
Guest:There's lots of people who all just don't walk comfortably, you know?
Marc:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:Like it's a lot of strain?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:What is exactly happening?
Guest:know come on i mean i don't know about this basically like uh it's a type of brain injury so and layman's term basically the body sends a message to the brain but the brain sends the message back wrong okay and makes a movement wrong makes tight yeah right right right everything's tight is it exhausting
Guest:You know, it's all I've ever known, so I don't know.
Marc:Right, so you've adapted to it?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:It's a really good workout.
Guest:Like I'm fucking working out when I'm sleeping and shit.
Marc:Do you do that on stage?
Marc:You must, right?
Marc:No.
Marc:You don't?
Marc:Are you gonna?
Guest:I guess so now.
Guest:Thanks.
Marc:So what do you got coming up?
Marc:What's this gig in Africa?
Marc:Are you gonna go?
Marc:I think so.
Marc:It's in Ghana.
Marc:Oh, it wasn't Liberia.
Marc:Yeah, Ghana.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:How do you get a fucking gig like that?
Marc:Palsy.
Marc:The hook.
Marc:The deep hook.
Guest:The inspirational hook.
Marc:What kind is the festival?
Guest:It's a festival.
Guest:And they said it's like three of us in the festival.
Guest:And we're each supposed to be doing 70 minutes.
Guest:I'm like, fuck that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's like, unless the attention span in Africa is a lot stronger than here.
Marc:That's a long show, dude.
Marc:So are you going to go?
Marc:I think so.
Marc:What other gigs you got coming up?
Marc:You got any speaking engagements?
Guest:I don't.
Guest:I just go to my website to see what I'm doing.
Guest:I have no idea.
Guest:I just go where they tell me to, really.
Marc:But on some level, let's be honest, you've got to feel...
Marc:Like you're helping people.
Guest:I do.
Guest:I feel really... It's a weird position to be put in.
Guest:As a comic, I'm sure you know.
Guest:I saw you last night.
Guest:You had the same thing.
Guest:People go, hey, man, I listen to your podcast.
Yeah.
Guest:And it helped me through some shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And that's a weird thing to be put on you.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Because you're like, I did?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'm just talking to some fucking comics, you know?
Guest:Right.
Guest:But it's amazing.
Guest:Like, people come up and they put so much...
Guest:value on what you do by saying something like it's like I'm just being a dumbass and talking shit on stage and if you took inspiration from that that's awesome yeah it's like it's an amazing feeling and I've had to sort of you know become gracious about it because what I realized is that
Marc:Everybody has fucking pain.
Marc:Everybody has problems.
Marc:Everybody has obstacles that they don't think they can overcome.
Marc:And at least we have this ability to either laugh at ourself or be honest about our situation in a way, even if it's simple for us, just blows people's minds.
Marc:They're like, I can't fucking talk about it.
Marc:Whatever it is.
Marc:Or in your situation where people are like, how am I feeling sorry for myself when this guy has overcome these fucking obstacles?
Marc:It's a fucking amazing thing.
Guest:It is amazing.
Guest:It feels good.
Guest:And I'm growing to appreciate it more.
Marc:Yeah, a little more gracious.
Guest:Before I'd be like, whatever, I'm just a fucking guy.
Guest:And now it's like, oh, that's really cool.
Marc:Did you offend some people with your inability to accept that you were helping them?
Marc:Fuck you, move on.
Guest:Are you going to buy a t-shirt?
Marc:Oh, that would be so bad if you were like a dick.
Guest:But it's cool, too, that it crosses not just people with cerebral palsy.
Marc:No, no, yeah, yeah.
Guest:It's like everybody.
Guest:It's weird.
Guest:But then I also have to deal with that where people insist on coming and telling me what their friend has.
Guest:Oh, I got a buddy who's got leukemia.
Guest:I'm like, oh, that's tragic.
Guest:Okay, thank you.
Guest:Like, I don't...
Guest:I don't need to know that.
Marc:That's funny.
Marc:It's sort of like, I got black friends.
Marc:They just want to be connected somehow.
Marc:So have you ever had a situation where you were sort of like overwhelmed or sort of blown away by some reaction you got from an audience member or someone who came up to you where it was just sort of like really overwhelming, crying or anything?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, I've had drunken cry fest where people just come up and be like...
Guest:My son, you know, I just remember, you know, I mean, I probably had that at least 10 times where people were like sobbing, crying, like.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Mostly from other family members, from people with people in their family.
Marc:Oh, see, that's profound to me.
Guest:And it's like, I mean, I have people that told me, like, their dad was dying of cancer, and he watched the show, and then he laughed before he died.
Guest:Like, that's fucked up, man.
Guest:Like, that's a lot of weight on a pothead's shoulders, bro.
Marc:But it's like, you know, it's the kind of weight that you don't even have to carry.
Marc:You just have to be there for them.
Marc:Accept it.
Marc:Yeah, be there for them to have that experience.
Guest:And that takes a big...
Guest:A lot of work.
Marc:To detach from that or to feel like you don't want to get... Because your immediate feeling is like, wow, that's really fucked up and sad.
Marc:But you just sort of go, I'm glad that he was able to do that.
Marc:But I imagine that families of people that have people with difficulties like yours in their family who have their own fucking feelings about like, what's my kid going to do?
Marc:How is he going to be okay?
Marc:That when they see you, they're like, oh my God, it's okay.
Guest:Well, I'll tell you, I get one of those emails at least a month.
Guest:One of the months.
Guest:Like, our kid was just diagnosed with cerebral palsy.
Guest:And it's just good to know that you're out there.
Guest:And it makes us know that that's possible.
Guest:It's like, that's fucking cool.
Marc:I mean, that's great, man.
Marc:Do you do any work with kids?
Marc:I fucking hate kids.
Marc:Yeah, that's good that you had a couple.
Guest:I'm just kidding.
Guest:No, I do.
Guest:You know, I find them.
Guest:I'm too rough because I don't care.
Marc:I'll just talk to them like I talk.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:And then they go home and tell their parents.
Marc:Like, maybe this wasn't such a good idea to have a comedian.
Guest:Yeah, we shouldn't have day camp.
Guest:Josh had day camp.
Guest:You know, I do actually.
Guest:I don't know if you know this, but I play soccer for the Paralympic team.
Marc:What's the Paralympics?
Guest:Paralympics is Olympics for people with physical disabilities.
Guest:So it's actually the second largest sporting event in the world.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Second to the able-bodied Olympics.
Marc:So that's a full range, like people missing limbs, people that have CP, people that... Stroke.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah, like everything.
Guest:So it's all sports, bicycling, swimming, track.
Marc:And the only condition is you're not mentally challenged.
Marc:You're just physically challenged.
Guest:I mean, there are a few slipped through the cracks here and there.
Marc:But you don't find out until later.
Guest:Some of my fucking teammates, I can tell you.
Marc:So how does that, what does that entail?
Guest:So I've been to eight different countries playing soccer.
Guest:I've been to, I was in the 04 games in Athens.
Guest:Just a spectacular experience, man, to go represent.
Guest:I mean, we wear the same gear that the national men's team wear.
Guest:We stay in the athlete village.
Guest:It's pretty amazing.
Marc:And you do it during the Olympics?
Marc:It's two weeks after the Olympics.
Marc:Every four years you go?
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:And so, oh, that must be fucking wild, man.
Guest:So the next one, my team is actually in Holland.
Guest:I think they're probably playing right now against Japan.
Guest:Why aren't you there, man?
Guest:Because I had this... You had to host my show last night?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I had to come down and hang out with you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No, you know, I'm on the team still, but I'm like the franchise player.
Guest:Just come in when you can, son.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:I love it.
Guest:I love playing.
Guest:It's just comedy and kids and a wife.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And then trying to convince her, like, I know I've been on the road the last couple weeks, but now I'm going to go to Holland and play soccer with my buddies.
Marc:Good luck bringing up our kids.
Marc:I'll see you in a couple years.
Guest:Yeah, have fun with those two psychopaths.
Marc:What are they, boys, girls?
Marc:One boy, one girl.
Marc:That's fucking great, man.
Guest:Yeah, they're fun.
Marc:So, well, I tell you, you know, despite your selfish, aggravated mode, I find it all pretty inspiring.
Marc:I mean, it's quite a fucking story.
Marc:You spend time in Africa, you speak several languages, you have CP, you're on the fucking Paralympics, you fucking do motivational speaking, and I'm like sitting in my hotel room feeling bad for myself.
Guest:It's all a scam, really.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Good for you.
Marc:You figured it out.
Marc:You got a racket.
Marc:You got an angle.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Come on, man.
Marc:Well, it was great talking to you, buddy.
Marc:You too.
Marc:Thanks, Mark.
Marc:Thanks, man.
Marc:That's our show, folks.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:Enjoy the rest of your vacation.
Marc:I will be back with another show when I usually do the shows.
Marc:That'll be Thursday.
Marc:Okay?
Marc:We good?
Marc:I feel like we're good.
Marc:Go to WTFPod.com for all your WTF needs.
Marc:Get your JustCoffee.coop.
Marc:You got your merchandise there.
Marc:You can get your apps there.
Marc:You can find out where I'm performing there.
Marc:You can do it all.
Marc:Oh, the new year's coming.
Marc:It's coming.
Marc:Another one got by us.
Marc:I'll perk up.
Marc:It's the holidays.