Episode 237 - Russell Peters
Guest:Lock the gates!
Marc:Are we doing this?
Marc:Really?
Marc:Wait for it.
Marc:Are we doing this?
Marc:Wait for it.
Marc:Pow!
Marc:What the fuck?
Marc:And it's also... Eh, what the fuck?
Marc:What's wrong with me?
Marc:It's time for WTF!
Marc:What the fuck?
Guest:With Mark Maron.
Marc:Okay, let's do this.
Marc:How are you?
Marc:What the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fuck Nicks?
Marc:What the fuck Minister Fullers?
Marc:How do you like that?
Marc:What the fuck Stables?
Marc:What the fuck Ericans?
Marc:What the fuck Amalins?
Marc:What the fuck Navians?
Marc:What the fuck Canadians?
Marc:See, did you notice there was a difference there between the Canadians, like Canada, and Navians, like Scandinavians.
Marc:Okay, enough.
Marc:Enough.
Marc:Enough.
Marc:How are you?
Marc:I am Marc Maron.
Marc:This is WTF.
Marc:Christmas is coming up.
Marc:I will deal with that.
Marc:Before I get into the bulk of whatever it is we're doing here, can I just say that Russell Peters is on the show today.
Marc:Now, if you don't know Russell Peters, you're probably American because everyone else in the world knows who Russell Peters is.
Marc:He's one of the biggest international comedy stars in the world.
Marc:When I first started hearing about Russell, I was like, who the fuck is this guy?
Marc:I've never seen him.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:What does he do?
Marc:He sells more tickets than anyone.
Marc:Mike, who is he?
Marc:Well, you're going to learn who he is.
Marc:He'll be here in just a second.
Marc:I would like to say that I will be in.
Marc:Let's do some plugging.
Marc:Let's plug it.
Marc:Plug me.
Marc:Plug Marin.
Marc:Why are you getting meta, Marin?
Marc:Why are you saying it like that, Marin?
Marc:I am going to be in Boston January 27th for the Magnus Comedy Fest.
Marc:I'm going to be doing a stand-up show at 7 and a live WTF at 10.
Marc:Those tickets are available at the Wilbur Theater, which is wilburtheater.com, on the live WTF so far.
Marc:Now, this is subject to change.
Marc:But my idea was to go with people that I used to see when I was starting out in Boston, because that really is where I started for most practical purposes.
Marc:So I wanted to deal with some of the dudes that I used to open for when I first started doing comedy.
Marc:So I've got Kenny Rogerson, who I'm fucking thrilled about.
Marc:Tony V has said he'll do it.
Marc:Mike Donovan.
Marc:Oh, fucking I am thrilled.
Marc:I don't even know what to say.
Marc:I'm so excited to see these guys.
Marc:These guys were the guys, man, when I was starting out and I would go on the road and open for them.
Marc:Jimmy Tingle just said he would do it.
Marc:Who else is on board?
Marc:I think that's it for now, but I couldn't, I'm excited.
Marc:And I hope you come out to that January 27th in Boston at the Wilbur Theater.
Marc:Stand up at seven, live WTF at 10.
Marc:And before that, January 13th and 14th, I'm going to be in Utah.
Marc:Wise guys in Utah.
Marc:That's wiseguyscomedy.com.
Marc:Come out.
Marc:It's the Trolley Square Utah Club.
Marc:I haven't played at that one.
Marc:I played at the other one.
Marc:Very excited.
Marc:I'm always excited to sort of fly into the only functioning theocracy in this nation of ours and do some comedy for the people that need some relief from living in the only functioning theocracy.
Marc:In our country.
Marc:So that's that's happening.
Marc:Those are happening.
Marc:I thought you should know about that.
Marc:There's a lot of things going on.
Marc:Big week.
Marc:Big week.
Marc:Thank you for all the emails about the cast iron.
Marc:I appreciate your support, your suggestions, your sharing of your obsession with me around the cast iron.
Marc:I've decided that my pans are maybe not as bad as I thought, that perhaps the obsession was really based on wanting to get down to the metal of it.
Marc:So I'm doing that with my smallest cast iron.
Marc:I've chosen not to go the electrolysis route because that required chemicals, liquid, a large battery charger, wires.
Marc:It seemed like I could die.
Marc:And I don't know that that's a way I want to die, though I almost died.
Marc:Excuse me.
Marc:Last night, I think it was ice cream related.
Marc:Perhaps I'll get to that.
Marc:So I'm stripping down a cast iron, but I really appreciate all the support in my obsession.
Marc:So that's happening.
Marc:I appreciate all the Christmas cards.
Marc:I appreciate all the presents.
Marc:I appreciate everything you're doing.
Marc:I'm not doing the Christmas thing that much.
Marc:I'm flying to my mother's on the 25th, and then I'm going down to the Keys for a week.
Marc:See, that way I can see the mom, bring the girl to a nice place, going to go to some of the Keys.
Marc:Got some plans.
Marc:Hopefully it'll be nice.
Marc:I've never made that drive across that water to the Keys.
Marc:I know the Key West can be a little trying, but I'm excited to go down there.
Marc:That's my big Christmas plan.
Marc:I'll be down there for New Year's.
Marc:I'm not going to work on New Year's.
Marc:A couple of breakthroughs.
Marc:A couple of breakthroughs, you guys.
Marc:I don't know what's going on.
Marc:Yesterday, there was some sort of chainsaw event down the hill.
Marc:People taking down a large tree and chopping it, just sawing it into chunks down there.
Marc:Today, there's some sort of xylophone event.
Marc:So I've got power tools and xylophones.
Marc:There's some sort of weird xylophone polka party going down at the bottom of the hill.
Marc:I woke up to that.
Marc:I woke up to the xylophone polka party.
Marc:What are the you're asking?
Marc:You're thinking, what are the what are these breakthroughs?
Marc:I haven't heard any breakthroughs.
Marc:Well, there's here's a little word of warning.
Marc:I went to if you're dating a Jew, I'm a Jew.
Marc:My my girlfriend, Jessica, is not a Jew.
Marc:If you are dating a Jew and you're new to Jew dating, you're new to taking on the Jew as a significant other.
Marc:I will I will put out this warning because today was the first day this happened.
Marc:And we've been together, you know, on and off, really mostly on for a year.
Marc:you're going to have to deal with smoked fish.
Marc:Smoked fish is going to happen.
Marc:At some point in the relationship with a Jew, there will be smoked fish involved.
Marc:I went to Whole Foods.
Marc:I bought some smoked black cod, which back in the day before I was born, back part of the tradition was smoked sable.
Marc:That was a very high-end Jew fish that you could buy at the Jew fish dealer or the delicatessen.
Marc:They call it smoked black cod.
Marc:I know it as sable from my grandmother.
Marc:So I brought that into the house and my girlfriend's vegetarian, so I had to deal with the unwrapping of the smoked fish and her sitting there with a face that could only mean like that is fucking horrendous.
Marc:Why is that in here?
Marc:The entire, you know, right when you touch smoked fish,
Marc:It seems to there must be some thin film or oil that just covers your body immediately and then slowly starts to cover the entire house.
Marc:It happens within seconds.
Marc:You open some locks, some sable, some whitefish and everything in the house will smell like smoked fish almost immediately.
Marc:So she was trying to fight it, taking over her.
Marc:She was being consumed by smoked fish smell.
Marc:And as a caring Jew boyfriend, I moved my plate outdoors and ate my smoked fish outside alone in exile.
Marc:Not unusual.
Marc:The Jews have been exiled before, but not so intimately and not so non-aggressively.
Marc:It was more of a suggestion, a passive aggressive suggestion that I take my Jewish smoked fish outside and enjoy my religion by myself on my deck, which I did.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Let's not go crazy.
Marc:Let's not go fucking crazy.
Marc:What else happened?
Marc:I am writing a book and it's coming along.
Marc:I'm chipping away at it.
Marc:I had no idea just how important masturbation is in the writing process.
Marc:I have a whole new respect.
Marc:for the greats, because there's nothing you can do.
Marc:When you're staring at a blank page, you're staring at a sentence and it's waiting for another sentence.
Marc:You're staring at an unfinished paragraph.
Marc:You're staring at four words that need more.
Marc:Sometimes all you can do is just jerk off.
Marc:You got to break through that wall.
Marc:Sometimes that's necessary.
Marc:I've always felt that masturbation is a built-in stress relief device that you use, you know, either prudently or not, depending on how compulsive you are.
Marc:I think it's important.
Marc:But I had no idea what an important and significant part of my writing process it is.
Marc:And also, I'd like to share with you that it's been many years, my friends, since I've been caught masturbating.
Marc:I don't know if you know that feeling or whether it's happened to you recently.
Marc:But, you know, certainly it's just been a long time since I've been busted with that going on.
Marc:And it happened.
Marc:And, you know, I don't know.
Marc:Well, she'll probably hear it now.
Marc:You know, I have a woman who works for me, Sam Varela, who who does some assisting work for me now.
Marc:She's a comedy fiend.
Marc:A comedy nerd and a comedy, she's starting to book some shows.
Marc:But she's, you know, she's doing some assistant work for me.
Marc:And I was in my garage writing my book, doing the big work.
Marc:And I decided to take a little break and, you know, focus in on myself.
Marc:A little auto-erotic take five.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And I had forgotten completely that she was coming over.
Marc:And there I was in my garage, you know, relieving the stress that builds up from the creative process.
Marc:And sure enough, there was a knock on the door with no time in between that and the door opening.
Marc:And it didn't quite open.
Marc:It was Sam.
Marc:And I said, wait, no, wait, wait, wait.
Marc:That can only mean one thing.
Marc:Either I'm in the middle of killing somebody in here or I'm in the middle of masturbating.
Marc:There was no way to hide it.
Marc:I was embarrassed.
Marc:I said, I'll be out in a second.
Marc:I'll be out in a second.
Marc:Just give me a second.
Marc:What could that have meant?
Marc:There's no hiding it.
Marc:So I'm copping to it here and now.
Marc:There's no hiding it.
Marc:I didn't know how to address it with her.
Marc:She went in the house.
Marc:She started doing other stuff, packing up some posters, some T-shirts.
Marc:I came back in after everything settled and made some small talk.
Marc:And I kind of brushed it off.
Marc:This is what I did.
Marc:Because I'm not ashamed of masturbating, but no one wants to get caught masturbating.
Marc:You know, you just don't.
Marc:So I kind of just smoothed it.
Marc:Yeah, I just was sort of like, yeah, we know.
Marc:Okay, how many T-shirts we got?
Marc:Do you want me to sign those postcards?
Marc:Should I do it?
Marc:Yeah, I just, I was, you know, I just had a, I'm sorry, it felt weird out there.
Marc:I would just, you know, I just had to watch some dirty movies for a minute because I'm writing and, you know, and then it just moved on.
Marc:You know, like, maybe I'll just sneak that buyer.
Marc:But, so that was good.
Marc:That was invigorating, being caught masturbating.
Marc:That happened.
Whew.
Marc:Conan O'Brien.
Marc:I'll be on the Conan O'Brien show on Wednesday.
Marc:I hope I can find some funny things to say.
Marc:You guys probably already know some of it, but that's okay.
Marc:Look, you know, I've been with jazz for a while.
Marc:And we had a fight the other night, and it was very specifically about nothing.
Marc:And after the fight, I realized, you know what that fight was about?
Marc:It was about we should be fucking instead of fighting.
Marc:I mean, that was all it was about.
Marc:It's weird, because there's all these old jokes about people that you get comfortable in your relationship, you're married, you don't have sex anymore.
Marc:There's a moment where the familiarity, and you know when it happens.
Marc:where you just don't give a shit anymore about your behavior because you're so comfortable with the other person.
Marc:Perhaps you're farting on each other at night or not.
Marc:There is an intimacy beyond sexual intimacy that is more of...
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:It's almost you're just you're so close that that sex is something you have to rejigger your attention to.
Marc:And also, you shouldn't be masturbating in your garage if you're if you're doing a lot of that.
Marc:Like I said, mine was writing related.
Marc:But there was a moment where we had this fight and.
Marc:All we should have been doing was having sex, and I knew that.
Marc:But there was this weird thing going on where once you get so comfortable with somebody, you've got to switch the lens in your head.
Marc:You've got to put the sex lens on, and you've got to take that intimacy.
Marc:When you're so familiar with people, and you're so comfortable with them, and you're farting in front of each other, and bathroom doors are left open, and you know all their tics and habits and everything else, sometimes sex is almost...
Marc:It's like a different zone.
Marc:It's a different type of intimacy.
Marc:And you feel, since you feel so revealed anyways and so vulnerable and like everything is out in the open, it somehow demystifies sex.
Marc:But the truth of the matter is, is that that's when sex gets really deep.
Marc:It gets really deep because it's so connected to that intimacy.
Marc:And I think on some level, that's the scary kind of sex is when you're so familiar with each other, it really has to be pure.
Marc:The connection has to be pure.
Marc:You can't just fake your way through it and have that sort of like relief sex where you're using the other person to just masturbate with.
Marc:You have to connect in a way that will honor the intimacy that you share when you're farting in front of each other.
Marc:It's tricky, but once you get through that, once you break that wall, because she wanted me to start it.
Marc:I wanted her to start it.
Marc:It was that simple.
Marc:She was like, why don't you desire me?
Marc:Why don't you want to just devour me?
Marc:And I'm like, I do.
Marc:It's just like right now, I'm just kind of laying here, and I kind of want you to start up the engine.
Marc:Could you start up the engine?
Marc:She's like, no, I'm not.
Marc:Why do I always have to?
Marc:I'm like, oh, you know, well, fuck it then.
Marc:Let's just fucking not deal with it.
Marc:And literally from there, it started, you know, it escalated into me, you know, grabbing a comforter and heading to the couch.
Marc:It got there in about 18 minutes.
Marc:And I go out to their couch and I got my comfort.
Marc:I'm like, why are we not just having sex?
Marc:This is so stupid.
Marc:Why am I being a baby?
Marc:I should just go in there and take her.
Marc:I should go in there and take her.
Marc:So I did that.
Marc:I did that after I was a baby.
Marc:So, you know, there again, there's that vulnerability.
Marc:There's that weird comfort zone.
Marc:I stormed off like Linus with his blanket and just came back like a warrior.
Marc:I had to wear the blanket in a different way and take my thumb out of my mouth and sort of use it as a cape and then take off the cape and then take my woman.
Marc:Quick note before we get into the interview.
Marc:It was recorded before the passing of Patrice O'Neill.
Marc:And Russell mentions Patrice here.
Marc:So I didn't want it to seem awkward.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:These are those mics.
Marc:Get right on top of them.
Guest:The directional?
Marc:Yeah, you know, the good ones.
Marc:I got good mics.
Marc:I don't have a Rolls Royce, but I have good mics.
Guest:Let me tell you something.
Guest:When you got good mics, you don't need a Rolls Royce.
Marc:I think you might be right.
Marc:I don't think a Rolls Royce has ever been in my driveway.
Guest:Ever.
Guest:I did that for you.
Marc:You did.
Marc:What's the kick around car?
Guest:That would be the Porsche.
Guest:The Panamera.
Guest:It's a four-door.
Marc:Okay, all right.
Guest:It's not the douchebag Porsche.
Marc:Okay, all right.
Marc:It's the family Porsche.
Guest:Yeah, it's the car.
Marc:Yeah, I get it.
Marc:All right.
Marc:No, it's a beautiful car you came up with.
Marc:I felt bad.
Marc:Did it scrape on the... No, I don't think it did.
Guest:It's a really high.
Guest:It's actually bigger than it looks.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's a much larger vehicle than... No, I didn't know that... I guess you can still get Rolls-Royces.
Guest:You can.
Marc:Yeah, I mean, I've never seen anybody driving one.
Guest:No, it's fun because you get a lot of stares with it.
Marc:Well, isn't that what it's for?
Guest:Yeah, that's what I had.
Guest:I had a Bentley convertible before.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And then I was watching those housewife shows.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And every fucking housewife in America, one of the all these little hookers that don't do anything.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They all had the same car and I was like getting emasculated by these broads.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:So I was like, I'm trading this thing in.
Marc:You got mad at the housewives for having the same car as you.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And you decided you got to go for the rolls.
Guest:Well, no.
Guest:Then I was looking at other cars.
Guest:I was like, I want another convertible.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I was looking at the Ferrari and I was like a little douchey.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And then I looked at the Aston Martin and it was a little too tight.
Yeah.
Marc:Oh, too tight.
Marc:A little too tight.
Marc:What does that mean to get into?
Guest:Yeah, I have big balls and it was, you know.
Marc:Oh, yeah, sure.
Marc:It wasn't a practical car.
Guest:It was very impractical.
Marc:And that's when I saw the role.
Marc:That looks like a practical car.
Guest:Probably got good fuel mileage.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:It's like 10.9 miles to the gallon.
Guest:All right.
Marc:Well, that's, I mean, these are the tough problems of being the most successful stand-up in the world.
Guest:uh are you still that i i possibly i don't know yeah i mean i i don't know how how do how do we really uh gauge success well i mean money is one way and uh and popularity those two things i think uh you can gauge it on those levels but i mean i don't know what's in your heart i mean if you feel like you're a failure and you're driving that car i'd go tell you to fuck yourself no i uh i i i feel my comedy is not up to par with my status is how i feel
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Well, I mean, it's an interesting thing because I've heard a lot about you.
Marc:I remember when you first started getting huge.
Marc:Russell Peters is in the garage, by the way.
Marc:I don't know if I mentioned that.
Marc:I remember when he first started getting huge and people started saying, he's the biggest comic on the planet.
Marc:I'm like, how the fuck have I not heard of him?
Guest:I started in Canada in 89.
Marc:Right.
Marc:So that was why.
Marc:I'm a pretty regional guy.
Marc:And how did you start, though?
Marc:Was it doing straight stand-up?
Guest:Yeah, no, I was just doing stand-up.
Guest:It was right after the boom.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, I think that's when I kind of... Well, I mean, I started in... Yeah, I mean, I started getting paid in 88, so we're probably around the same amount of time.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:How old are you?
Guest:41 this year.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Well, then how'd that pan out?
Marc:So how old were you when you really started?
Guest:Well, I had just turned 19.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:So I was basically 18, but I had just turned 19.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And, you know, I was fucking green.
Guest:I didn't know anybody...
Guest:in the business.
Guest:I didn't have a single friend in it.
Guest:But you were getting paid when you were 19?
Guest:No, I didn't get, I mean, I was, you know, if you want to call it getting paid, you'd go do a one-nighter for 20 bucks or something, you know what I mean?
Marc:Oh, so you were 19 in like 89?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And you just started doing open mics there?
Guest:I started doing open mics and...
Guest:completely floundering through it you know there was i hate when i hear guys go yeah the first time i did it then the manager came back and asked me to come back next week i'm like shut the fuck up that's not how comedy works yeah i don't everyone say i've heard people say it and i'm like where does that happen that doesn't happen never happened to me i was paralyzed with fear yeah i remember you had four jokes
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:My first five minutes, I had two minutes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Here's five minutes.
Guest:That's cool.
Guest:I'll only take two if that's all right with you.
Guest:Do you remember what it was?
Guest:It wasn't even worth remembering.
Guest:Really?
Guest:It was just horrible.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:I think I got a giggle.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And then I was like, okay, that's cool.
Marc:What was the angle though?
Marc:Family stuff?
Guest:Not even.
Guest:Just abstraction.
Guest:It was, hey, how you guys doing?
Guest:I just motored through it.
Guest:I wasn't waiting for it.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:It's interesting because you're sort of disarming.
Marc:I've been watching your stuff, and I know that you have this huge international appeal.
Marc:And how did you get so fucking huge?
Marc:That would be the internet.
Yeah.
Marc:But, like, someone told me you were really one of the first ones to really focus on self-promotion.
Guest:To be honest with you, I never, and I still don't, focus on it.
Guest:The whole initial thing, I mean, you've got to figure out.
Guest:I did a special in 03 in Canada.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And that's the one that got put on the internet somewhere around mid-04.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I was not the person who did it.
Guest:I was still completely computer illiterate at that point.
Guest:It was an hour?
Guest:Yeah, it was an hour.
Guest:For CBC?
Guest:For CTV, I think it was.
Guest:And it got put on the internet, I don't know by who, and it got passed around and just spread like wildfire.
Guest:Everywhere.
Guest:And I couldn't figure out why people were calling all of a sudden.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah, because at that time, in 2004, I'd been doing stand-up 15 years.
Guest:And I was like, well, what the fuck?
Guest:All of a sudden, people in the States are paying attention.
Marc:So you were just a Canadian road act?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But in Canada, it's interesting.
Marc:It seems that when you're a comic and you're within the industry, that eventually you end up on a TV show or you have a radio show or did you have things?
Guest:I had nothing.
Guest:I really did have nothing.
Guest:And when I shot that special in 2003...
Guest:I was as broke as you could possibly be.
Marc:But were you like a yuck yucks act?
Guest:I was a yuck yucks guy.
Marc:So you were just one of these guys that did all the yuck yucks all over Canada, had not played the States.
Guest:Nope.
Guest:I'd played like, you know, when I would come to New York and like in the mid nineties, I would sleep on Patrice O'Neill and Keith Robinson's couch in Woodbridge, New Jersey.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And, uh, and I would go do spots with them around town.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Like we'd go do Boston.
Guest:We'd go do the cellar.
Guest:We'd go do the strip, but you were nobody.
Guest:I was nobody.
Guest:And I would be struggling to get on those spots.
Guest:And I would also be struggling to do well in those spots.
Marc:That's unbelievable.
Marc:And then this was special, but let's go back to the past.
Marc:So, because I watch your shit and I noticed something, I don't know if I'm right, but it seems where did you structure your jokes, your jokes, you talk about family, you talk about race, but you talk in a long form, like some of the older black comics.
Marc:I mean,
Guest:who were your influences uh initially it was carlin yeah it was uh carlin rickles uh cheech and chong steve martin those are like the same ones i had and eddie murphy yeah i i chose i always chose eddie and carlin over prior which drives people nuts but i mean if he didn't if i if it didn't click with me it didn't click with me you know but you do long form yeah that's the thing and my style is more akin to prior yeah but uh funny enough it didn't it didn't ring ring with me
Marc:But how'd you grow up?
Marc:Because you're brown, as you say.
Marc:That is correct.
Marc:And you draw a lot of attention to that.
Marc:I'd say you've built a lot of your career on being brown.
Guest:I've built my whole life about that.
Guest:You know what it was growing up?
Guest:It was always brought to my attention.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was just a kid trying to blend in.
Guest:And it was in Canada, there was a lot of racism towards Indian people.
Guest:And so it was brought to your attention very early that this is what you are and you shall not try and hang out with this people or these people.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Just in social situations.
Guest:Yeah, you should probably be quiet and shut the fuck up in that corner over there.
Marc:But it's interesting, you don't talk with an Indian accent of any kind.
Guest:Well, no, I was born and raised in Canada.
Guest:Are your parents first generation?
Guest:They are.
Guest:They moved to Canada in 65.
Guest:I love that.
Marc:So they talk like that.
Guest:Yeah, and not even that hardcore, but we got to play it up for that.
Guest:It's all about, hey, comedy is about the exaggeration.
Guest:Of course.
Guest:And what kind of business was your, what kind of family you come from?
Guest:Very, very working class.
Guest:My dad was a meat inspector.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah, he worked in a chicken plant.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:So, you know, he just fucking- Did you ever go to work with him?
Guest:No, he had to wear whites and rubber boots and a hard hat.
Guest:Horrendous.
Guest:And he would come out stinking every day.
Guest:Oh, that's horrendous.
Guest:And my mom worked in the cafeteria at Kmart.
Guest:No.
Guest:Remember those cafeterias they used to have in the back with the Salisbury steak?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And a great day for us would be when there was Salisbury steak left over and my mom would bring it home.
Guest:No.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Are you serious?
Guest:Or hot dogs.
Guest:I'm like, yes.
Yes.
Marc:special night yes oh my god so there was nothing there wasn't ever like the uh and you know everyone always asks me what about being a doctor a lawyer i'm like there's none in my family what the fuck would i become but you never got that first generation push of like expectation because i've talked to like you know when i talk to people i've talked to other people that come from first generation parents of different cultures and there always seem to be that kind of like you have to be better than everybody else because we're who we are
Guest:We were always kind of like an outsider kind of... My family's Anglo-Indian.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So their first language, even in India, was English.
Marc:What does that mean in terms of the Anglo in the sense that... They were part British.
Marc:All right, so you're part of the caste thing?
Marc:Not even.
Marc:We were part of a... The caste thing's different.
Marc:The aristocracy, or how does it work?
Guest:It was all part of when the British were there colonizing us.
Marc:Right.
Guest:They were encouraged to... The British soldiers were encouraged to...
Guest:uh hook up with indian women or and or marry them or whatever um because it was too dangerous and too expensive for them to try and bring their families over to india from england oh so they tell the single british they were like listen why don't you just get one of these local ones and really call it a day because your family the broad you're trying to bring back from england on that boat right here could possibly die yeah it's too expensive for us to do it so yeah they were encouraged to go local shop local yeah
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So we're a product of that mix.
Guest:And then that mix became so... So you have a British soldier somewhere in your lineage.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Interesting.
Guest:And then that mix kept marrying the same mix.
Guest:Oh, okay.
Guest:Because the Indians rejected us.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Because they were like, well, you don't even have our last name anymore.
Guest:And you're very fair skinned.
Guest:So you get that.
Guest:I actually look very Indian.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Especially out of my entire family.
Guest:Very Indian looking.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, that works for you.
Guest:It works really well for me now.
Guest:Growing up, not so much.
Guest:But now, ha, ha, ha.
Guest:I'm laughing.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But it's sort of wild to me because I'm watching and it's like you sort of have...
Marc:There's some sort of license you have to be racially charged and at times fairly inappropriate, I would say.
Marc:I try to.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But because you get some sort of weird pass because you look Indian, you don't talk like an Indian, but you can sort of it seems that you can address almost any ethnicity with a certain amount of I don't know if it's compassion, but visible empathy just because of who you are.
Guest:I think it's because I speak to them on a real level.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I take details about other people's culture rather than the broad strokes.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And once you go into detail on things, people make more attention.
Guest:I think details always separate good from great.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But it's interesting.
Marc:I think as a Canadian, the one thing I don't see, at least in the stuff that I watch, is you never... Here, it's always like white people do this, black people do this, white people.
Marc:The baseline is always white people.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And you don't come from that at all.
Marc:Like the baseline is is Indian, but you speak like, you know, without an accent and then you can address Chinese people and gay Indians or whatever you're going to do.
Marc:But but culturally, the the landscape is different in Canada.
Marc:Like it doesn't seem like you seem like a completely international act.
Marc:I don't know how you do in the States or who comes to see you in the States, but I know you sold out Staples Center, right?
Marc:Nokia.
Marc:Nokia Center.
Marc:So, I mean, what's your audience primarily here?
Guest:It's pretty broad now.
Guest:It's very mixed now.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:Yeah, it's picking up.
Guest:The crazy thing for me is I just thought, all right, I'll come here.
Guest:It'll be the usual Asians and Indians that come out to see me.
Guest:And then...
Guest:And then Asians and Indians were coming out to see me, but then I started noticing more white people coming.
Guest:Then I started noticing more Latinos coming.
Guest:And now I'm noticing more black people coming.
Guest:And I'm like, well, all right, this is crossing over the exact same way it's crossed over everywhere else that I've been.
Guest:So it kind of trips me out because every time I think I've reached the ceiling, I end up discovering that there's new people.
Marc:Well, that's wild because it's probably...
Marc:more multi-ethnic than any white or black performer.
Marc:I mean, I think it's sort of fascinating somehow or another that because you're kind of this lightning rod for every ethnicity.
Marc:I mean, how does that fucking work?
Guest:I think I'm the voice of the invisible minority.
Guest:Interesting.
Guest:I mean, the people I'm talking to or about, whether it be Arabs or Asians or Indians or Latinos or, you know, Italians, whatever.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Whoever I'm talking about, I'm speaking to them in some sort of, I guess, sonically, they're hearing something that they're not hearing from somebody else.
Marc:Well, you're speaking as somebody who is like second or third generation, but lives with the heritage of whatever they come from.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then now I break down things.
Guest:I break it all culturally, you know.
Guest:So, you know, when I talk about Italians, Italian-Americans versus Italians in Canada where I grew up.
Guest:The Italians in Canada are all first generation.
Guest:All right.
Guest:So, you know, my friends that are Italian speak Italian to their parents.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But then they talk like a guido to me.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:But then when I see Italian-Americans, they're all these, you know, gung-ho, big, fucking Italian, bro.
Guest:And then you're like, you speak Italian?
Guest:No, I don't speak Italian.
Guest:Well, then how the fuck?
Guest:are you Italian?
Guest:Right.
Guest:Just because you have an Italian name and you work out and you eat pasta doesn't mean you're Italian anymore.
Marc:Well, it doesn't mean you're that close to the source.
Marc:Yeah, you're a satellite.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You're a few generations off.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But how does... Because I get this sense of you that you can perform anywhere in the world.
Marc:Do you speak different languages?
Guest:I don't.
Guest:I actually only speak English.
Guest:Well, where do you go usually?
Guest:The only place I haven't been to is South America.
Marc:What, are you afraid?
Guest:No, they just don't speak English.
Guest:Until they get Rosetta Stone or Rosetta Piedra.
Guest:Yeah, you're not going to happen.
Guest:Yeah, maybe Guyana.
Guest:Maybe I'll go to Guyana because they speak English there.
Marc:How come you haven't gone there?
Guest:Guyana's a little dangerous.
Guest:That's why I haven't gone.
Marc:Oh, yeah?
Marc:You don't want to get into any conflicts?
Marc:Well, not even.
Guest:The things I hear are like, well, if you're wearing gold, they'll cut your hand off for your gold or whatever.
Marc:So you've actually tried to book a night there?
Guest:Well, no.
Guest:People keep trying to get me to go there, and I'm like, not until I get military escorts.
Marc:Are you at that level yet where you can get military escorts?
Guest:Sometimes.
Guest:Really?
Guest:In certain places.
Guest:It freaks me out when it happens.
Guest:Like where?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Like in Dubai or something or in the Middle East.
Guest:They give me armed guys to go around with me.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Which is pretty cool.
Guest:Yeah?
Yeah.
Guest:So have you gone to Russia?
Guest:I've not gone to Russia.
Marc:So that's another place.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I go continental rather than country-wise.
Guest:Right.
Guest:It's easier that way.
Marc:How about China?
Guest:China, yes.
Guest:China, Shanghai, Beijing, Hong Kong.
Guest:Do you perform for Chinese audiences?
Guest:Yep.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yep.
Guest:The whole world speaks English.
Guest:Really?
Guest:That's the funny thing.
Guest:The world is smarter than we are.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because in America, we think that everybody else is stupid.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And we're like, actually, no.
Guest:They speak their shit and ours.
Guest:And then not only that, they speak ours better than we speak it.
Marc:Now, when you do your stuff about Chinese people in China, I mean, does it translate?
Marc:Because it's more family-oriented.
Marc:I mean, you're not doing completely... It seems that the Asians that would speak English that come from the old school or their parents from the old school must get your stuff.
Guest:Yeah, there's a whole new world out there, especially with the Internet generation.
Guest:It's an equal playing field, you know?
Guest:There's like a commonality around the world, and that's...
Guest:okay, America is like the middle ground, and anything above or beyond that or below that is funny.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So here's neutral, and then anything else, go for it, you know?
Marc:Right.
Marc:But you're telling me that for the first 15 years of your career, you were just another fucking, you know, lazy-ass fucking comic.
Guest:You bet your ass.
Guest:I was learning how.
Guest:I was cooking.
Guest:You ever done that on the road?
Guest:You make mac and cheese?
Guest:Before they had microwave mac and cheese?
Guest:Sure.
Guest:You would make it in the coffee percolator?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I've done that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:and fucking heat up chili in the coffee percolator but you weren't like they would turn a coffee percolator into a freaking stove yeah if the condo didn't have what you needed yeah or it was just a hotel room yeah it was always like these shitty shitty hotel you have ramen noodles yeah you would figure it out how to eat out of a uh vending machine that's so weird because i got i had you all wrong i thought like you're one of these guys that had a business mind that focused on the fucking business
Marc:Never, never.
Marc:So your success completely came out of fucking left field?
Marc:It completely blew me away.
Guest:In terms of the global nature of it?
Guest:Absolutely.
Guest:And here's the thing, Mark.
Guest:Had I not made it to this level, I would still be just as happy being on the road, being a comic.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Regardless.
Guest:Like, cause I wouldn't have known this.
Guest:Do you know what I mean?
Guest:But you were pretty, but you were doing well in Canada.
Guest:Do you mean?
Guest:Not, not, I mean, you know, on a good year, maybe I made 60 grand.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:And I wouldn't just play Canada.
Guest:That was the thing because I would leave Canada and I would go to England and then from England you'd be doing gigs and they would be like, Hey, do you want to go to, uh, do you want to go to Amsterdam this weekend?
Guest:Yeah, sure.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:How much is it?
Guest:150 pounds.
Guest:I'm like, fuck, I'll take it.
Guest:I'm like, I'm here.
Guest:What am I going to say?
Guest:No.
Marc:Yeah, that's like some Americans are doing that more, but that was more common in Canada and more common with the Europe.
Marc:So you did the whole European thing.
Guest:I started going to England in 94, 95.
Marc:Did you have a following there?
Guest:No.
Guest:No, I just used to go.
Marc:I'm just having a hard time accepting the fact that you just popped because of this weird viral.
Guest:It was completely this weird viral thing.
Marc:So who manufactured... So you worked with... I know you work with Wills over at... What are they now?
Guest:Live Nation.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Because I remember he always was talking about you.
Marc:And when he was the guy that first told me about you, he was like, you know, he's bigger than anything.
Marc:And I'm like, how do I not know who he is?
Guest:Yeah, you know, it's one of those things.
Guest:And even... You know what?
Guest:I feel guilty sometimes.
Guest:When I'm around guys like you or other comics who I knew, you're always aware of who's in the game.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But around you or around... Even guys I'm friends with, like Norton and all those guys, I still feel guilty in my head.
Guest:I almost feel like I cheated somehow.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Do you know what I mean?
Guest:Sure.
Guest:And they're always like, man, what are you selling out this?
Guest:And in my head, I'm like, no, because in my head, I'm intimidated by these guys still.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Well, I can't imagine what, if you still are friends with Patrice, what that must be like.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:Patrice is so funny to me.
Guest:You know what a ball breaker is?
Guest:And I love it when he breaks my balls.
Guest:I think it's fucking hilarious.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I remember he came to me one time, maybe about five years ago.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Hey, so, Russell, now, there's no disrespect, but you ain't that fucking funny that you should be this big.
Yeah.
Guest:I mean, you're all right, but you ain't that fucking funny.
Guest:How did you respond to that?
Guest:I started laughing.
Guest:What are we going to do?
Guest:I mean, you know what?
Guest:The thing is, I agree with you, Patrice.
Guest:That's the worst part.
Guest:Do you judge yourself against other comics?
Guest:I don't judge myself against other comics, but I watch other comics, and you see guys doing shit, and you go...
Guest:Fuck, I wish I thought of that.
Marc:Right, but aren't you in a position now, like if you could, I mean, you play theater, so the pace is different, and you know- I'd like to correct you, I play arenas, but go on.
Marc:Okay, arenas.
Marc:Okay, that's fine.
Marc:But you play arenas, which means that you have to pace yourself in a certain way.
Marc:You're not gonna leave anything open-ended.
Marc:You're not gonna fucking wing it.
Marc:You're not gonna, I mean, you know your show.
Marc:I mean, I think an arena show, like an hour in arena is like, what, 40 minutes in a club?
Guest:Yeah, I do an hour and a half usually.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:And, yeah, I think it's about equal.
Guest:I mean, my deal is when I go on stage, I try to make a 16,000, 17,000 seat arena feel like you're in a club.
Marc:You can sell 16,000 seats?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Consistently?
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Marc:Like, in the States, where can you sell 16,000 seats?
Guest:In the States, I do around 13, 14.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And you pack it out.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's all right.
Guest:It's pretty good.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And they're still finding out about you because of that one special.
Guest:That one special.
Guest:And then they're finding other things on the net.
Guest:And, you know, it's so funny to me how it just keeps... You know, and when, like, people go, yeah...
Guest:like i'll give you an example i met slash the other day and uh i walked up to him i go hey slash uh my name is russell peters i'm a comedian and he goes yeah man i know who you are yeah and i was like i got goosebumps he goes yeah we were just watching you on tour in our tour bus and in europe and i go are you fucking kidding me yeah i was like i was like i didn't know what to say i go well i got my new dvd do you want a copy of it i was panicking i
Marc:So how many hours do you have on DVD?
Guest:Let's see.
Guest:I put out three and they're about, so that's about five hours done.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then there was the special from 03.
Guest:That's another hour.
Guest:That's six.
Guest:And then I did an hour in 97.
Guest:Seven and then a half hour in 05.
Guest:I mean, 95.
Marc:So you're in your like your eighth hour.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And you try to do what?
Marc:One DVD a year?
Marc:One every two years.
Guest:And they sell like 100,000 copies?
Guest:Usually, now we're in a different, yeah, it's very different.
Guest:Nobody wants a hard copy of anything anymore.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So the new DVD is not doing anywhere near as well as I was hoping.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Because people aren't, I don't even know where to buy a DVD anymore.
Marc:Yeah, I don't know where to buy anything.
Marc:I mean, I just released a CD.
Marc:I have some of them.
Marc:I think I'll just hold on to them.
Marc:i'll bring them with me on the road yeah you gotta upload them and that's it people gotta buy the download it's so weird and you can still figure out how to make money on that though but people can rip it off right that's the other thing like yeah and i get mad when people like hey man i know i just just downloaded your green card tour i'm like motherfucker don't tell me that i want to slap you i put all my money into that shit that's right and they think they they think they're being cute or they think they're doing me a favor they're like yeah hey man i got it for free thanks yeah really thank you for the for letting me steal that from you
Marc:All right, so let's go back to the time where you realized this thing was going to break.
Marc:How did you know?
Marc:I mean, it must have been sort of thrilling.
Marc:If you're just doing the yuck-yuck chains and sleeping on Patrice's and Keith Robinson's couch, I mean, what was the day where you knew that everything fucking changed?
Guest:Um...
Guest:I think it would have been, I say my awakening happened in around June of 05 when I came to LA and I was playing Royce Hall at UCLA.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:A college gig?
Marc:No, no, it was me.
Marc:Right, but how'd you book it through?
Guest:I don't remember how that got booked.
Marc:How many seats was that?
Guest:whatever Royce Hall is 2000 is it okay and it sold out like quick so we had two shows yeah and then we added two shows to the Laugh Factory just for the hell as a bonus yeah and it all sold out like that yeah and that's when I was like alright and who was the audience then mostly it was mostly Asians and Indians
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:So you knew that market was there for you?
Guest:Yeah, but I didn't realize that they had that.
Guest:I didn't realize there was that many of them out here.
Marc:Right, and most of these were like second or third generation Asians, I imagine.
Guest:No, first, like, you know...
Guest:Their parents came over.
Marc:Oh, yeah?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So they must just be, I'm just trying to figure out, I think there is something about adapting to being in an English-speaking country or adapting to being a unique minority or ethnicity in this country that the struggle must be the same.
Marc:They must identify with it.
Guest:You got to figure it's probably, yeah, equal to the comics of the early 1900s.
Marc:Right, right.
Marc:Like the Jews and the- And the Italians and the Irish.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I mean, I'm that guy to them.
Guest:Have you been to India?
Guest:I have been to India.
Guest:Do you go often or you don't- I'm actually going again next month.
Marc:How often do you go?
Marc:Once every few years.
Marc:You have family there or no?
Guest:I have some family there still, yeah.
Marc:Now, what is that like?
Marc:Because I want to go to India, but I'm afraid of it.
Marc:I've talked about it before.
Guest:Well, personally, I love it over there.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Well, you would, right?
Guest:There's something about it I like.
Guest:I don't know what it is.
Guest:It's the factory where they make Indians.
Guest:Yeah, all the Indians are made there, and they're making them a lot.
Guest:Yeah, never mind the knockoffs you get over here.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You'd love it, I think.
Marc:No, really, my entry point is really just food, and I've always been sort of fascinated with the culture.
Guest:Are you a vegetarian?
Marc:No, but I love the food.
Guest:What are you doing after this?
Guest:Because my mom cooked, and she's at my house right now.
Guest:Are you serious?
Guest:I'm dead serious.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:So if you want to, you would love it.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yes.
Marc:I might take you up on that.
Marc:I think you should.
Marc:Let me think about it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Can I bring my girl?
Marc:Absolutely.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:How many people are over there?
Guest:Just my wife, my daughter, my mom, and her brother who's here from Calcutta visiting.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:See, I'm fascinated with the whole culture.
Marc:I have Ganeshas all over the place.
Guest:Oh, well, then you're going to love this because you're going to find out how un-Indian my family is.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:except like my uncle does very indian things like shakes his head sideways is that an indian thing it's very indian thing because he he he doesn't even know he's doing it but i laugh because i noticed it right we were at i took him to ihop yeah yeah and he's like you want uh sir do you want white or wheat toast white white is good and he's just shaking his head sideways and she's like not white and he's like yes white i'm like that's hilarious you're like can you turn down the indian a little bit yeah
Guest:so you believe that see like I don't you know talking about these racial things because in order to do the jokes you do which I imagine that some people accuse you of being racist those are people that don't understand and now those are also people that don't know how to use English properly and a lot of people try and say are trying to say racial jokes and they say racist jokes right because people are getting fucking dumber and dumber let's be honest yeah so I read that and like hey I love your racist jokes and you're not sure because when you read it is that a dig or do you just not know how to spell fucking racial
Marc:Well, I think that what they they like.
Marc:I think the only issue that people have is that when you generalize about a culture that they think you're limiting the perception of that culture and you're picking the and you're stereotyping.
Marc:Right.
Marc:So some people would call that racism.
Guest:Right.
Marc:But it seems to me that, you know, even in your family that you're able to identify this particular head shake that may be cultural.
Marc:Right.
Marc:that you've you've seen before yes so that's of your experience and and it's funny because it's not of my experience but if you're going to tell me that if you're going to say to a room full of indian people that uh you know he's doing the indian head shake and they're all going to identify that who the fuck am i to say that's racist yeah well generally i mean it's it's like people want to police these things and
Marc:yeah who are those people really uh i don't know who they are but they deserve to be kicked in the nuts well i think that what you're saying though because even in the bit that you do that i watched you know in in the bargaining between you know the the negotiation a sales negotiation between a chinese guy and an indian guy that your perceptions about how those two cultures handle money and what they expect out of money it was funny you know but i i know that there'd be people that would be offended because you're going well you
Guest:you know like you're making fun of well you know i'll tell you the funny thing about that is now you hear that but chinese people hear oh that's a dead-on hong kong accent that immediately they go they don't even say that's a chinese accent right they go this is awesome you sound so you've been to hong kong before yeah and and to them there's nothing racist about it because if you get it dead on how can you get mad at that right you did your homework
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's basically how they look at it.
Guest:Did you know it was a Hong Kong accent?
Guest:Yeah, I did because that's where I picked it up, actually.
Guest:Do you do a range of Chinese accents?
Guest:No, I just got the Hong Kong.
Guest:And people are like, hey, do mainland.
Guest:I'm like, I don't know the difference.
Guest:You can't cop to that.
Guest:You're like, I'm working on it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Look, I know you guys speak two different languages.
Guest:How about that?
Guest:Is that enough?
Marc:Have you been attacked for this shit before, though?
Guest:No, not by the people who I'm talking about.
Guest:By white people.
Guest:Yeah, by white people.
Guest:Like, hey, man, you shouldn't say that.
Guest:I do it in meetings or whatever I'll talk about.
Guest:And white people get so uncomfortable with it.
Guest:I'm like, stop getting fucking uncomfortable with it.
Guest:That makes me uncomfortable.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That means you've got some hidden shit going on in your head.
Marc:Well, they just don't know what's right or wrong.
Marc:You know, they don't want to.
Marc:It's like that white man's guilt thing.
Marc:They don't want to carry the burden of saying something inappropriate because they don't know when they're being appropriate.
Guest:You know how you find out what's not inappropriate or what is inappropriate?
Guest:Talk to an old person.
Guest:yeah they always just say what they see yeah there's nothing there's no malice involved right they just say what the fuck they see okay my dad would say things like when my friends would come over my dad was born in 1925 yeah so he was pretty old yeah you know how many brothers and sisters yeah just one my older brother and he's your guy he's my manager as well yeah
Guest:So my friends would come over, and growing up, 95% of my friends were black.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because they were the ones that wouldn't pick on me.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So they would come over, and my dad would be like, Russell, there's some Negro here at the door.
Guest:And I'm like, Dad, what are you doing?
Guest:And you would think like the black guy would be like, what the fuck did you say?
Guest:But even he'd be like, what are you going to do?
Guest:He's old, you know?
Guest:There's no malice.
Guest:It's just, it's really about intent.
Marc:It's just the way, it's a perception thing.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, he didn't know the guy's name, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Or like some, I got into a fight at school and when I was a kid and he goes, what was the boy's name?
Guest:And I go, Peter Jankowski.
Guest:And he goes, he's a Polak.
Guest:My dad would actually break down everyone.
Guest:That's how I got to it, because my dad would, by their last names or whatever they were, they would break down what they were.
Marc:But he did say Polak, not Polish guy.
Guest:Yeah, he would say Polak.
Guest:He used to love all in the family.
Marc:So he was Archie Bunker?
Guest:The Indian Archie Bunker?
Guest:He was the brown Archie Bunker.
Marc:It's interesting, because I find that within minorities, there's real racism, too.
Marc:I mean, like blacks and Mexicans, it's insane in this neighborhood.
Marc:What is it with Indians?
Yeah.
Guest:Indians Indians are very weird with that because as a whole they'll come together yeah but then you put them together and then they will separate class system stuff it'll be whatever language more than anything it's language which is like whatever part of India you're from Punjab or Hindi is that the two ones well there's so many you can tell by last names in the Indian culture where somebody's from in India what language they speak uh huh
Guest:Like Patel.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You'll know that they speak Gujarati.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's because that last name is specific to that region.
Marc:Did I just say something stupid?
Marc:Is Hindi a separate language?
Guest:Hindi is the national language.
Guest:And Punjab?
Guest:Punjabi is a language.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:It's not anywhere near a national language.
Guest:Right.
Guest:It's in the north.
Guest:It's a dialect.
Guest:It's not a dialect.
Guest:It's a language.
Guest:Oh, it's a totally separate language?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, they...
Guest:twist some words, but they're all basically variations of Hindi or based on Sanskrit stuff.
Guest:So you grew up mostly with black dudes?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:They were your friends?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Only because you were both ostracized by Canadian white people?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Wow, that's kind of wild.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So were you, at any one time, were you encultured black?
Guest:Very much.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:I mean, I was...
Guest:I was break dancing in the early 80s.
Guest:Were you?
Guest:Then I was DJing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I was boxing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And everything I ever did was like... Hip-hop and the whole thing.
Guest:Yeah, I was there when it all started.
Guest:So for me, it was like, I still DJ to this day.
Marc:Because I still swear that some of the way that you do your comedy, it seems black to me.
Guest:And I used to do black rooms.
Guest:You did?
Guest:When I would come to New York back in the day.
Guest:And Keith and Patrice would always make fun of me because I'm like...
Guest:I'd be like, Keith, I gotta go do Capone's room in the Bronx at 1.30 in the morning on a Saturday.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And Keith's exact words, you know Keith.
Guest:Yeah, sure.
Guest:Keith's exact words were, nigga, I wouldn't rush into there.
Guest:You're gonna get kicked in your fucking throat, you jackass.
Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, that sounds like Keith.
Guest:That's what he does.
Guest:And what happened?
Guest:We get to the gig and I got booed off.
Guest:So you got booed off in black rooms?
Guest:Not all the time, but it happened, yeah.
Guest:They let you know because the first thing is they look at you and they're like, I remember hearing when I was on stage that night some guy going, fuck you want on there, you pretty motherfucker.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:It wasn't even about color.
Guest:Yeah, it was just like, I know about you big-nosed niggas.
Guest:I know about y'all.
Guest:And I'm like, all right, well.
Guest:Apparently.
Guest:What does that even mean?
Guest:I don't know what that means, but apparently I have a big nose.
Marc:There's a certain type.
Guest:So they thought you were black and then they realized you weren't?
Guest:I don't know what they thought, but they just didn't like me.
Guest:I think I spoke too clearly because I didn't want to be like, yo, what's up?
Guest:Did you ever do that?
Guest:No, I couldn't do it.
Guest:Not even as a kid, though?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, I would do that with my, you know, there was that period in life where you're all confused.
Guest:And in Canada, it was a lot of West Indians, so I would speak Jamaican a lot.
Guest:Because all my friends did.
Guest:What does that sound like?
Guest:Well, that's the thing.
Guest:Even when I call my best friend Marlon back home, I'll just go straight into Jamaican with him.
Guest:Like, what does that sound like?
Guest:I'll call him, like, yo, Stucky, what, man?
Guest:Walk one.
Guest:And he's like, nothing, man.
Guest:And I'm like, yo, so listen here.
Guest:I reach back this side to this.
Guest:So come reach me at the O's, man.
Guest:And he'd be like, all right, cool.
Yeah.
Guest:really but then but then yeah you know on the side we will be together and talking to be like yeah so what'd you do this week you know what i mean oh really yeah but like you know it's it's one of those things where you know you see somebody yeah yeah yeah it's kind of like hey i want you to know i'm still the same yeah and then when you're hanging out it's like
Guest:So you want to go eat or something?
Guest:Yeah, let's go eat.
Guest:What do you want to eat?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Want a salad?
Guest:Yeah, sure.
Guest:Let's have a salad or something.
Guest:Whatever.
Guest:But when you first engage, you got to do the thing.
Marc:Yeah, it's that excitement of becoming who you were.
Marc:That's amazing, man.
Marc:It's amazing because it's really just a way of communicating.
Marc:It just trips me out because when I watch you, it seems that you're almost like a blank slate of ethnic potential.
Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, it's weird that like you represent some sort of global rallying point of comedy and you're the only one.
Marc:I mean, I don't know who else does that.
Guest:I mean, I'm the ambiguously looking racial guy.
Marc:Well, but that's that's true.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And it somehow gives you this free this license to talk about whoever the fuck you want.
Marc:I mean, obviously, we all can.
Marc:But I just think it's fascinating that you don't come from the point of like you don't hear any of that, like, you know, white people because you're not.
Marc:And you're also Canadian.
Guest:See, I look at it as saying white people is so broad.
Marc:But here is a comic type.
Marc:The black angle was the separation, was that we are the other and that this is how we are perceived and this is how we see white people.
Guest:I like when people say, you know, I don't care who you are.
Guest:I love everybody, black, white, Asian.
Guest:I'm like, that's it?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But see, that's the thing is that you don't have to say that.
Marc:You sort of embody it somehow.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Whether you love them or not.
Marc:I guess it's my essence.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:No one is taking your essence, which is good.
Marc:It is.
Marc:It's an amazing thing.
Marc:So tell me about performing for these different audiences.
Marc:You don't change your act.
Marc:No, you change little things maybe, you know.
Marc:But do you have a chunk on, like, because I've noticed that I've only seen, I haven't watched all seven hours of your show.
Marc:I haven't taken in the entire Russell Peters.
Marc:I don't know what your problem is, buddy.
Marc:I know.
Marc:Apparently, I'm in the minority.
Marc:But do you have chunks on interactions with the Egyptians or Arabs?
Guest:Yeah, I do.
Guest:I actually have a whole thing on being in Jordan and being punked by the King of Jordan.
Marc:A couple of guys have King of Jordan stories.
Marc:Were you with Maz or those guys?
Guest:No, it was me and Gabriel Iglesias, though.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah, he didn't punk Gabriel.
Guest:He punked me, though.
Marc:He's got a sense of humorous guy.
Marc:His mother is American, right?
Marc:Queen Noor is American.
Marc:Is she?
Guest:I didn't know that.
Guest:Possibly.
Guest:But he's a really cool guy.
Guest:I hear that.
Guest:You would never know he was a king.
Marc:How do you get punked by the King of Jordan?
Guest:We invited us to the palace for dinner.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And, you know, we're all having a good time, and he's cooking for us, which was pretty cool.
Guest:I mean, you've got the king standing right in front of you.
Guest:There's no guards around you.
Guest:It's just me, the king, Gabriel, Angelo Sarucus.
Guest:Do you know Angelo?
Guest:Uh-uh.
Guest:Big feck.
Guest:I think you have the Fred and Vinny movie on your diet.
Guest:Yeah, someone just sent it to me.
Guest:I know Fred.
Guest:Yeah, Fred.
Guest:Angelo plays Vinny.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:I haven't watched it yet.
Guest:Angelo's one of my best friends as well.
Guest:So we're all there.
Guest:My brother, my sister-in-law, we're all hanging out.
Guest:The queen's standing there.
Guest:Queen Rania.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it's just a very chill vibe.
Guest:And he's like, so how do you want your steak?
Guest:And he's cutting up the steak.
Guest:And he's like, yeah, there's some snacks over there.
Guest:And his brother's there, the prince.
Guest:So I'm talking to his brother.
Guest:He goes, hey, how you doing?
Guest:I'm Faisal.
Guest:I go, like Prince Faisal?
Guest:He goes, hey, just call me Faisal.
Guest:I go, what do I call your brother?
Guest:He goes, oh, his majesty?
Guest:And I go, you call your brother his majesty?
Guest:He goes, no, I call him Ab.
Guest:But it's up to him what he wants you to call him.
Yeah.
Guest:So he's like, how do you want your steak?
Guest:I go, I don't know, sir.
Guest:He goes, oh, my friends call me Ab.
Guest:I go, that's cool, sir.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because I don't know if we're friends, right?
Guest:Right, right, right.
Marc:I'm not going to assume these things.
Marc:But you weren't going with your majesty.
Marc:You were going with sir.
Guest:No, I was just going with sir.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I know there's no majesties in my role.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:nothing majestic in my world so he goes no ab ab my friends call me ab call me ab so i'm like all right ab and anyway he goes have a drink relax right so i get a little buzz going and i'm more relaxed yeah and i'm saying dumb shit to the king now i'm like you know you have uh you have really blue eyes
Guest:And then Gabriel's like, what, are you hitting on him?
Guest:And I go, no, no, I'm just saying.
Guest:I'm just saying.
Guest:And he's laughing.
Guest:He's got a great sense of humor.
Guest:He goes, I go, no, you look younger in person than you do in your pictures.
Guest:Because in a kingdom, there's pictures of the king everywhere you go.
Guest:I go, you look much younger in person.
Guest:He goes, oh, yeah, those pictures are pretty terrible.
Guest:They were taken a long time ago.
Guest:I go, no, but I'm just saying, I couldn't help but noticing your penetrating gaze.
Guest:I go, I don't mean you are penetrating gaze.
Guest:I mean, you have...
Guest:And I'm backtracking because I'm a little nervous with the guy.
Guest:Anyway, we end up having a great time.
Guest:He's as cool as hell.
Guest:And the queen decides to go to bed.
Guest:So my brother, my sister-in-law, myself take that as a cue to be like, maybe we should leave.
Guest:It's like 2 in the morning.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:you know we don't if the queen's gone to bed yeah maybe the king just doesn't want to be rude and kick us out he's a nice guy yeah you know so we go you know what uh ab we're gonna break out we've got to catch a flight in the morning oh you do what uh what time's your flight
Guest:I'm like, it's at 1030.
Guest:He goes, what time are you heading to the airport?
Guest:I go, probably going to leave the hotel at about seven.
Guest:He goes, seven?
Guest:That's too early.
Guest:Leave at nine.
Guest:I go, I'm not going to make my flight.
Guest:He goes, I'll call the airport.
Guest:And I go, that's when you remember he's the king again, right?
Guest:You're like, yes, of course you'll call the airport.
Guest:We're flying on Royal Jordanian Airlines and who are the royal part.
Yeah.
Guest:He's got a little pull.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He goes, yeah, just leave at 9.
Guest:You'll be fine.
Guest:You'll get there maybe 9.30, 9.40.
Guest:You've got lots of time.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I go, okay.
Guest:So we leave the hotel at 9.
Guest:We get to the airport at 9.30.
Guest:We pull up at this VIP entrance that I didn't know about.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And there's guys that meet us right away.
Guest:They take our luggage.
Guest:They take our passports.
Guest:They send us up to this VIP room.
Guest:And we're all sitting there, all staring at each other like, this is fucking cool, right?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Like, what kind of service is this?
Guest:So this guy walks in.
Guest:We're all sitting there.
Guest:They give us tea and snacks.
Guest:And this Arab guy walks in holding a passport in his hand.
Guest:And he goes, Russell Peters.
Guest:And I'm like, that's me.
Guest:And he goes, come with me.
Guest:And I'm just trying to be funny.
Guest:So he goes, nope.
Nope.
Guest:And he goes, come with me.
Guest:And I'm like, oh shit, all right.
Guest:We start walking and he goes, you have two cell phones.
Guest:What are they?
Guest:I go, what?
Guest:He goes, give me it.
Guest:So I give him one cell phone.
Guest:He goes, where's the other one?
Guest:I go, it's in my bag.
Guest:So I get a little bit of an attitude now because...
Guest:uh you know i boxed for nine years and i did a little jujitsu for a few years so i kind of got that edge about me where it's like all right relax buddy because yeah you're about to fucking get me into a space you don't want me to get me into yeah and i don't need to fuck this up now yeah because i don't know what the jails are like so you didn't drop the king's name at all no i didn't want to again i didn't want to fuck up the king's name either yeah i mean he was so nice when we you know so
Guest:So we start walking out of the room.
Guest:He goes, you speak Arabic?
Guest:I go, no.
Guest:With an attitude, I'm like, no.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he goes, huh.
Guest:So we walk down these stairs, and we get to the bottom of the stairs, and there's two armed guys standing there, like military guys with guns, automatic weapons pointed right at me.
Guest:Really?
Guest:And immediately in my head, my ego kicks in and goes, oh, my God, the king came by to say bye to me.
Guest:That's so cool.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:and so the guys as soon as we come down the stairs the guys point the guns right at me and I go oh it's me it's okay yeah yeah and they're like and I'm like damn still giving you the stink eye I'm like alright whatever yeah so this guy leads me into like an interrogation room goes sit down a table like this so I'm sitting there he's sitting here he's like where were you last night and I go what what did you do last night I go I did a show uh huh
Guest:And then I went out.
Guest:I'm trying not to tell him where I went, because I'm thinking maybe the king breached some sort of security thing.
Marc:Oh, you think the king's in trouble?
Guest:Well, you never know, right?
Guest:Protecting the king?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's very nice of you.
Guest:You know, I grew up with blacks.
Guest:You know, you don't just rat fucking people out.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'm like, I did a show.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Did some stuff.
Guest:I'm going out with a friend.
Guest:You know, a guy I know here.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I look on the table, like, beside me to my right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I see, like, a towel...
Guest:Like a blanket with a camcorder underneath it.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I'm like, oh my God, I'm in an interrogation room.
Guest:But then immediately my Indian side kicks in and goes, that's an old fucking camcorder.
Guest:No.
Guest:That's immediately what I thought.
Guest:I was like, can't you get better shit around here?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So he's like, where are you?
Guest:And I go, then where did you go?
Guest:I went, I went out.
Guest:Where?
Guest:I went to...
Guest:Hung out at the palace.
Guest:I threw it in like a trump card.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Eyes open.
Guest:Palace.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he goes, which palace?
Guest:I go, what do you mean, which palace?
Guest:Hung out with the king.
Guest:Which king?
Guest:Don King.
Guest:What the fuck do you mean, which king?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I look above him and there's a picture of the king sitting right there.
Guest:I go, the king.
Guest:King Abdullah, that king right there.
Guest:Why did you do that?
Guest:What were you doing?
Guest:I go, we're friends.
Guest:How are your friends?
Guest:You're friends with my king.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I pull out my phone.
Guest:I go, yeah.
Guest:And I show him a picture of me and the king.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Huh.
Guest:And he lights up a cigarette.
Guest:He blows the smoke in my face.
Guest:I'm like, what a dick.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Then I hear a commotion in the hallway outside.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I hear, like, scuffling.
Guest:And then I hear, don't fucking point the gun at me, fool.
Guest:And then it's Gabriel.
Guest:Iglesias walks in the room, and he's on the phone.
Guest:He's like, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Guest:And I go, Gabe, what the fuck is going on, dude?
Guest:And he goes, hold on, hold on.
Guest:He passes me the phone.
Guest:I go, hello?
Guest:And all I hear is,
Guest:Never be the first to leave one of my parties again.
Guest:You just got punked, biatch.
Guest:And I go, fucking hell, dude.
Guest:And then the guy behind the counter, the guy who was interrogating me.
Guest:Scary guy.
Guest:He's like, I'm so sorry.
Guest:I'm so sorry.
Guest:I was told to do that.
Guest:I'm sorry.
Guest:He's all practically on his knees bowing to me.
Guest:I'm so sorry.
Guest:And I'm like... That's fucking beautiful.
Guest:I'm like fucking horrible.
Marc:Have you talked to him since?
Marc:I'm going to turn the arm for a minute.
Marc:Have you talked to him since?
Marc:The king?
Guest:No.
Marc:Where's the...
Guest:But here's the worst part.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I go, Gabe, you knew about this?
Guest:He goes, yeah, that was the least fucked up one he wanted to do.
Guest:I go, what do you mean?
Guest:He goes, he wanted to put a bag of white powder in your suitcase and a handgun.
Guest:Oh, shit.
Guest:That would have been great.
Guest:I go, that's not funny.
Guest:He goes, well, I know that.
Guest:I talked him out of that one.
Marc:They were all in on it?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So when you travel, I mean, like where, like, I have to assume that, I mean, you seem pretty, you know, I mean, I have to assume that has some kind of emotional effect on you, that you're bringing this many people together.
Marc:Is there moments where you're kind of like at least overwhelmed with some sort of emotion?
Marc:I mean, obviously you're grateful and you're doing well and you got a Rolls Royce.
Marc:But do you feel that you are playing some important global role as a comedian?
Guest:I feel a responsibility now.
Guest:To not make broad general strokes when I talk about people.
Marc:Is that true?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Now, how did that evolve?
Guest:That evolved because people looked at me with respect and kind of like, we trust your word now.
Marc:Don't fuck this up.
Marc:Well, what did you have to recheck?
Marc:I mean, like, were there parts of your act that you had to rethink?
Guest:You know, there's always the quick joke you think of.
Marc:Right.
Guest:It'd be like, you know, rock throwers or whatever.
Guest:Just something dumb.
Marc:In reference to Palestinians or whatever?
Guest:Whatever, yeah.
Guest:Whatever.
Guest:And then...
Guest:You know, and then you have to I have to check myself and I go, look, if I make fun of the Palestinians and call them that, then they're going to think I'm on the side of Israel.
Guest:And then the entire region is going to turn against me.
Guest:And then I again at the same time, I want to be respectful of these people because I don't want them to think I'm not on anyone's side.
Guest:I'm just here to tell you what I see.
Marc:So that's interesting.
Marc:So you literally you've got sort of an inner United Nations.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That you have to honor in order to make sure that your observations have integrity, integrity and inaccuracy.
Marc:Mm hmm.
Marc:Now, have you ever been have you ever done a joke and realized like, you know, fuck, you know, that was a mistake.
Yeah.
Guest:If I have, I've never done it in a recording.
Marc:Right.
Guest:So if I have, you know, I'm sure you make mistakes when you're on stage.
Marc:But there's nothing that stands out in your head.
Guest:There's nothing that stands out, you know.
Guest:You know, there's things I think of sometimes on stage and you go, fuck, I want to say that, but I won't.
Marc:Right.
Guest:You know.
Marc:Right.
Marc:But like there are certain like, you know, cultural identifiers that if you're just riffing and someone says they're from sewing place, you know, you can throw in a couple of the, you know, kind of standbys, you know.
Guest:Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You know, you got the you got your your own stock stock room in your head.
Guest:Right.
Guest:That you can shoot something out while you think of something else.
Guest:Your brain's juggling at that point, you know.
Marc:Has there ever been a sense where you're doing these shows and you felt like you've helped?
Guest:Do you feel like you help?
Guest:Well, if there's Jews and Muslims sitting near each other, I always make them hug.
Guest:Do you really?
Guest:I really do.
Guest:I think it's hilarious.
Guest:Have you done Israel?
Guest:No, I have not.
Guest:Why?
Guest:I just have not done it yet.
Guest:It is on a list of things I want to do because I actually found out that I do have quite a following in Israel.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Now, there's not been any apprehension on your part about it?
Marc:Not really.
Marc:How come you haven't gotten there yet?
Marc:What other places?
Guest:That I want to go to?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I'm supposed to go to Ghana next year.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I don't even know what that would look like.
Guest:West Africa.
Marc:Have you done West Africa before?
Guest:No, I've only done South Africa.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I want to go to Ghana.
Guest:I want to do Kenya, Tanzania.
Marc:When you go to someplace like South Africa, are you able to draw attention to the attention there?
Yeah.
Guest:Well, the funny thing in South Africa, South Africa was actually the first place in the entire world where I was famous, quote unquote.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Guest:And that was around 2008.
Guest:too yeah well they got a big entertainment complex there i mean they do well not even that it's just they have um it that country was ripe for me for the racial material right i mean a country that had fucking uh racial apartheid and racial inequality for till the until the mid 90s are you kidding me yeah and it wasn't just a black and white thing over there it was black white it was anybody who was not white right and indians were on that list right
Marc:So then there is a certain element of you, because at this particular moment in history, because of globalization, that there is a sort of almost international relief of racial tension that everybody can understand because we're dealing with a global landscape now.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:It's fucking fascinating to me.
Marc:Have you ever offended a dominating power?
Marc:Like in South Africa, were you ever... I was never leery of offending the white people there.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:In fact, it was almost my goal.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And did you succeed?
Guest:I don't know if I did or not, but my mission at the time was because they had been so systematically broken down mentally, all the non-white people, that even though apartheid had been lifted, they still weren't mentally ready to challenge white people on any level.
Marc:Right.
Guest:They were still yes sir and no sir.
Marc:So you did a bit of that.
Guest:And I would fuck with the white people all the time.
Marc:And how'd they take it?
Guest:They had to take it.
Marc:Did you find that they laughed?
Marc:Did it make them uncomfortable?
Marc:Did you find that they were aggravated?
Guest:It was a joyful cheer out of the non-whites in the room.
Guest:It was kind of a thank you.
Guest:It felt really nice.
Marc:It's like playing at a prison and the wardens are just standing there and can't really respond.
Marc:Fuck you, warden.
Marc:You don't got us no more.
Marc:Which I have done.
Marc:I performed at Riker's.
Marc:did you yeah well they're pretty appreciative they really are i mean it was bizarre i played at a woman's prison years ago they're just thrilled that you came yeah and they're usually it's a little weird in there though no yeah i mean when you go through yeah because it's like its own culture and it's not it's it's definitely a scary one yeah and you got co's on either side of you with shotguns did uh how'd they respond to you
Guest:It was great.
Guest:I mean, you know, at first I was trying to just do material.
Marc:Yeah, and then you just started riffing.
Guest:And then I started riffing on, like, the big guy.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And then, you know, the more you start picking on them, the more they're like, yeah, yeah.
Marc:And you know that when you leave, they're never going to forget it.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Whatever you said to that big guy.
Guest:You know somebody's getting shanked over what I said because they mocked the same guy.
Guest:Right, like you did.
Guest:Mistaking it that they could get away with it.
Yeah.
Marc:Well, that's sort of interesting because then you're sort of empowering these groups of people that have been looked at as minorities in different countries.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But when you go to India and perform, how does that play out?
Guest:India is amazing for me.
Guest:The Indians in India, well, obviously that's redundant, but they love me, the ones that understand me.
Guest:The English speaking ones and the ones that are with it.
Marc:What do you think it is about what you're doing?
Marc:Do you think that they aspire to either getting out of India or living a life like yours?
Marc:Or do you just think that it's a voice that I've not heard before from an Indian?
Guest:I think it's a, A, it's a voice they've not heard from an Indian.
Guest:And B, I'm almost like the picture of what they would expect us to be.
Guest:Like how, you know, with the attitude or whatever.
Guest:It's kind of like a, yeah, that's our guy.
Yeah.
Marc:And that you can play, you can riff on the different types of Indians and how Indians are perceived and that you are clearly not that.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Not out of intention, but you just aren't.
Guest:The funny thing in India is that the Indians over there are so much smarter than the Indians that are over here.
Guest:Oh, okay.
Guest:Like they get everything.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:Again, it's part of being an outsider.
Guest:Right.
Guest:When you're an outsider, you see things far more clearly than the people stuck on the inside.
Marc:Because they've got that blind spot.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:They're the ones putting you outside.
Guest:Yeah, so now you're outside so you can get in.
Guest:Just look in.
Guest:It's like, yeah, it's like take a step back and, you know.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's exactly what it is.
Guest:So they're watching us.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And we're, you know, the, it's this weird kind of, uh, the Indians that are, they're called NRIs, non-resident Indians, all the Indians around the world that are not in India, NRIs, non-resident Indians.
Guest:And, uh, they all desperately try to cling on to, they, they try, they, they go in overtime to be more Indian.
Wow.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:They overdo it.
Marc:The ones outside of India.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And the ones in India don't have anything to prove.
Guest:How much more fucking Indian do you need to be?
Guest:They're born and raised and live there.
Marc:Why do you think that they overdo it in order to identify the community?
Marc:Is it a community thing to keep separate, to make sure that there's still a strong sense of Indianism?
Guest:Yeah, to try and hang on to their culture, afraid of losing it or whatever the case may be.
Guest:But the Indians in India even recognize it as it's corny to them.
Guest:Really?
Guest:And you got to figure like the Indians that are doing this, they're basing it off what their parents have told them.
Guest:Their parents maybe left 40, 50 years ago.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So you're basing it off of an idea.
Guest:It's like your parents left America in the 60s and they're living wherever else they're living now.
Guest:And they're telling you about America, but they're telling you their picture of it in the 60s.
Marc:Interesting.
Guest:Do you know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So it's kind of like you're going to.
Guest:You grow up and you're like, so you live in this other country now and you're, hey, peace and love, man.
Marc:Right.
Guest:And you're like, what is that?
Marc:So on some level they're still reacting to the British or something.
Marc:Like the people that have been out of India for 50 years.
Guest:Yeah, they still have like this weird kind of, it's an inferiority complex.
Marc:Okay, there you go, yeah.
Guest:And the Indians in India don't have that.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Because they're there.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Who are they inferior to?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Each other.
Marc:And what is it like there?
Marc:I mean, is it like when what's your experience of it?
Marc:Because I know that there's more people per capita than anywhere and that the poverty is horrendous.
Guest:It is.
Marc:And but how do you move through that culture?
Marc:I mean, you're probably treated very well.
Marc:But I mean, is there is there still a sense of like, oh, my God, this place is a fucking mess?
Guest:I call it a beautiful mess over there because the poor people in India, unlike any other poor place in the world, it's not dangerous to be in a poor neighborhood.
Guest:You can go into the poorest of poor neighborhoods in India.
Guest:into the most ghetto fucking you know tin house box that would be a luxury yeah my family's from Calcutta so I mean I see some real shit over there yeah I literally saw a pile of garbage and people sleeping on it yeah and I saw rats picking at the garbage and we're talking rats that are about you know a foot and a half two feet long yeah um
Guest:But you could walk into any of those situations and no one's going to be like, oh, get away from me.
Guest:Oh, what do you want?
Guest:You know, there is this inner peace that they all have that they don't want your shit.
Guest:Is that really true?
Guest:It's very true.
Guest:What does that come from?
Guest:It comes from they know that no matter how fucked up their situation is, they know that there's somebody in a worse situation right beside them.
Guest:So it's kind of like, well, this is my place, but that guy's place sucks worse than mine.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:You know, so I even talk about it in my act.
Guest:I go, you can walk through with a nice watch.
Guest:They're not going to try and take your watch.
Guest:They're hungry.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They don't want to know how fucking long they've been hungry for.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And you're and you're pretty.
Marc:They love you there.
Guest:I mean, I mean, it's a very they're very loving people.
Marc:Right.
Marc:So that's not that's a real thing.
Marc:That's a real thing.
Marc:You're saying there's not any asshole Indians?
Guest:Oh, there's asshole Indians.
Guest:Do you know who they are?
Guest:Who?
Guest:You know who the asshole Indians are generally?
Guest:The rich ones.
Marc:Right.
Guest:They're real dickheads.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They're rude.
Guest:They're obnoxious.
Guest:They don't know how to talk to people.
Guest:They talk at you.
Guest:They order you around.
Guest:I see them do it.
Guest:And when they do it around me, I get mad as shit.
Guest:I'm like, don't fucking talk to that guy that way.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He's the coolie or he's the servant.
Guest:He's supposed to... Right.
Guest:But he's a fucking human.
Guest:Talk to him like one.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:I get so mad.
Guest:I'm like, because I'm always nice to them.
Guest:I'm like, hey, man.
Guest:Do you talk about that on stage?
Guest:In India, I do it.
Guest:You do?
Guest:Yeah, because it rings true for them.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then they'll always come to me after.
Guest:No, you know, I always talk very respectfully to my servants.
Guest:Boy, come here.
Guest:And I'm like, well, then stop calling him fucking boy, first of all.
Guest:How about that?
Marc:So now what is the most challenging situation you've had to deal with?
Marc:I mean, in traveling, given that you have played in all these different audiences or dangerous or anything like that.
Guest:I think more so the fear of losing your luggage, to be honest with you.
Marc:Is that it?
Marc:That's the big thing you're up against?
Guest:Jet lag and the fear of losing your luggage.
Marc:Those are the big ones.
Guest:That's it.
Guest:And getting sick.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I don't mean stomach sick.
Guest:I mean just getting a cold or something.
Guest:I don't want to get sick on the road.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So those are the big fears?
Marc:That's it.
Marc:You feel pretty well protected otherwise?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, it's one of those things, you know, if you get into trouble here, you're going to get into trouble there.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I mean, if you don't look for shit, you're not going to find shit.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And in terms of feedback, in terms of cultural feedback, I mean, you talk about responsibility now, but there must be some gratitude that comes back at you.
Guest:Oh yeah.
Guest:I mean, you know, the funny thing for me is now I get people complaining to me that I haven't made fun of them yet.
Guest:Oh really?
Guest:You haven't talked about us yet.
Guest:Like who?
Guest:Why haven't you talked about the Latvians?
Guest:You know what?
Guest:Fuck.
Guest:Had I known, had I known you were here tonight, I have 30 minutes on it.
Marc:So you're that guy, you know, they want, you're literally the, you're like the integrator.
Guest:You're the, you're the guy.
Guest:That's it.
Guest:Like I'm on stage sometimes.
Guest:They're like, Hey, talk about, you know, Persians.
Guest:Hey, what about Russians?
Guest:I'm like, what about them?
Guest:I'm scared of them.
Marc:That's it.
Marc:but that's it's so funny to me because i completely get that sense that you know there are all these you know quote-unquote ethnicities that are now everyone's functioning in this global economy in this level playing field and they want to be represented as unique because they come from a unique background that has you know stereotypical behavior and they want to be represented as a caricature in order to not only you know pass
Marc:in the country they're in, but also to sort of sustain some of their and keep some of their weird quirkiness.
Guest:They want somebody else to recognize that they're different.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Isn't that weird?
Guest:It's almost like we know we are, but they don't.
Guest:And then when they hear somebody else talk about it, I'm like, oh, they do.
Guest:They do.
Guest:Hold on.
Guest:Hold on.
Guest:We're not lost yet.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:We're like, we have a thing that they can identify as stereotypical.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And how are things going for you stateside in the big show business?
Guest:Things are going great.
Guest:I mean, people are always like, you know, for the level of international stardom you have, I'm surprised none of these networks have picked you up.
Guest:And I'm not.
Guest:Because in my head, it's kind of like, look, if this internet thing had never happened, nobody would know who the fuck I was.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And I get that.
Marc:But you know what's weird about you is that you aren't, you know, as yourself...
Marc:enough of a caricature for them to identify as like he's a goofy Indian guy because you're capable of capturing those things through voices and through personifying them.
Marc:But you as yourself, I mean, you're almost outside of the color of your skin, raceless in a way.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's weird, huh?
Marc:It is a little weird.
Marc:Do you understand what I'm saying?
Guest:No, I know what you're saying.
Guest:It's kind of like a blank slate.
Guest:They're like, well... Right.
Marc:Well, you know, we get that he can do all these different characters, but if he's not going to talk like... What are we going to do with him?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Do you come up against that?
Marc:I come up with that all the time.
Guest:And... How do you respond when they say, like, do the Indian voice?
Guest:Well, they don't generally do that now anymore.
Guest:I think, thank God, they're changing their point of view on that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But it's always funny to me when I get, like, a development deal and they're like...
Guest:Oh, man, we're such huge fans over here.
Guest:I'm like, no, you're not, dude.
Guest:Don't fucking lie to me.
Guest:And I've been a comic for 22 years.
Guest:I'm not fucking stupid.
Guest:I can see through your bullshit.
Guest:I'm up there bullshitting people all night.
Guest:I think I can't see through you, you fucking loser.
Guest:You suit.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:I'm like, don't try and bullshit a bullshitter.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:Now, how many of your friendships have you been able to maintain?
Marc:Your brother, obviously, he's a business manager and you have comic friends.
Marc:But from where you grew up, say this.
Guest:All my friends back home are all my friends.
Marc:They are.
Guest:And it's so funny because they'll see all the hype, especially in Canada.
Guest:They'll see everything on TV.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:entertainment tonight or whatever in Canada they make a big deal of me which I appreciate and I love it but my friends will see all that and then I'll come back and for that split second that they see it they'll get caught up in that hype then I'll come back and hang out with them they're like oh never mind he's the same like my friend had a cigar sitting out on the table you know just such a fucking you know we're comics we're retards he goes hey see the cigar I gotta go that's nice I go
Guest:yeah goofy fucking sure comic things yeah like uh okay you're still the same and same guy yeah and how does your family reacted to your insane success have you i mean your mom's here now my mom's here no she lives in canada still but she's just visiting right now because her brother came from india is your pop still alive no he passed away like seven years ago he passed away right before it all blew up
Guest:Which was kind of cool because I always say that he was like my guardian angel.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because it really was like a week or two after he died, that shit just went through the roof.
Marc:So were you sad that he wasn't able to see it though?
Guest:At first I was sad that he wasn't able to see it, but then I started thinking about, I think he's like the puppet master in all of this, you know?
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because in the beginning of my career, he always told me, you're never going to make it.
Guest:He was like, you're never going to make it.
Guest:There's nobody that looks like you in this business.
Guest:It's either blacks or Jews and that's it.
Guest:They don't want to see you.
Guest:There's a reason we're not in it because they don't want to hear from us.
Guest:And I'm like, yeah, but dad, that's why I'm going to make it.
Guest:I go, that's exactly the reason because there's nobody like me.
Guest:So you had that in you?
Guest:I was always the kind of guy, you tell me I can't do something.
Guest:I'm going to prove to you I can.
Marc:And now was your relationship with him always that way?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, my dad and I, we were very close.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And my dad used to box in India.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So when I started boxing, him and I got even closer, and then we would always watch fights together and stuff.
Guest:And he was, even at 78 before he died, he was still slick with the hands.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Marc:Yeah, he was good.
Marc:So there is an honest part of you that thinks that he's overseeing this whole thing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, I'm not a religious person on any level.
Guest:I don't believe in any of it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I think it's all fucking horse shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I am a spiritual person, and I believe that my father is my god, so to speak, you know?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Well, that's a good place to put him.
Marc:It's better than not liking the guy.
Marc:Yeah, right.
Marc:Well, thanks for talking, buddy.
Marc:Thanks for having me, man.
Marc:You bet.
Marc:That's our show.
Marc:Thank you for listening.
Marc:Russell Peters, the biggest star in the world, the biggest comedy star in the world you may not know.
Marc:Thank you for listening.
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Marc:Pow!
Marc:Wow!
Marc:I just shit my pants and it's good it's at the end of the show.
Marc:I'm going to try to move that to the end of the show now.
Marc:I can't believe that fucking cat just came in and came out and did not say anything.
Marc:We had one great ending with Boomer.
Marc:Okay.
Boomer.