Episode 232 - Henry Phillips
Guest:Lock the gates!
Marc:Are we doing this?
Marc:Really?
Marc:Wait for it.
Marc:Are we doing this?
Marc:Wait for it.
Marc:Pow!
Marc:What the fuck?
Marc:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?
Marc:What's wrong with me?
Marc:It's time for WTF!
Guest:What the fuck?
Guest:With Marc Maron.
Marc:All right, let's do this.
Marc:How are you, what the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fucking ears?
Marc:What the fuck nicks?
Marc:What the fuck oodists?
Marc:That doesn't work.
Marc:What the fuckstables?
Marc:How is that?
Marc:What the fuckericans?
Marc:I am Mark Maron.
Marc:This is WTF.
Marc:Pleasure to be here.
Marc:A couple of quick things.
Marc:First of all, all you people, hold on.
What the fuckericans?
Marc:That's my new guitar, and that's me playing it.
Marc:That's the best I can do.
Marc:That was it.
Marc:Before we get started, though, Henry Phillips is on the show, and he's going to play his guitar and his songs.
Marc:I'm going to play a little bit with him.
Marc:That was very exciting.
Marc:What else?
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:The Coop poster that was designed for the Neptune Theater.
Marc:Again, thank you so much, Seattle.
Marc:Great times.
Marc:I had a really great time up there.
Marc:I really did.
Marc:You know, it's been a tough week with Patrice's passing.
Marc:I don't know if you listened to the re-release of the Patrice episode, but I did that for him, and he's definitely going to be missed.
Marc:But I obviously have a cold, but let's plow through this.
Marc:Let's do this.
Marc:I'm happy to be here.
Marc:First off, the Coop poster that was designed for the Neptune, which is great.
Marc:They're assigned...
Marc:hand-pressed, hand-screened editions of it at WTFPod.com.
Marc:I've only got 75 of them.
Marc:If you want that, you should go to WTFPod.com to the merch section and order those now.
Marc:I've got 100 or 75 now.
Marc:Coop's got 100, and that's it.
Marc:I'll sign them, and Coop has signed them, and they're beautiful.
Marc:So if you're interested in that, go to the site and do that.
Marc:I will be at the Arlington Drafthouse in Arlington, Virginia, tomorrow night, Friday and Saturday.
Marc:They've added an extra show, a 7.30 show on Friday.
Marc:So there's going to be two shows Friday, two shows Saturday.
Marc:Do that.
Marc:Also, a long...
Marc:Range heads up the Wilbur shows in Boston on January 27th at the the Magner Festival.
Marc:The live WTF is already half sold out.
Marc:So go to the Wilbur.
Marc:If you want to go to the shows in Boston, deal with that now.
Marc:what is on my mind?
Marc:I'm sitting here with a guitar and I'm sick and it's not the best time to be thinking about playing guitar for you guys or singing.
Marc:I don't know if I'm going to get through it really.
Marc:And I'm not going to give myself too many, I'm not going to give myself any tries.
Marc:I'm just going to do it.
Marc:My voice sounds fucked up, but Henry can do it.
Marc:And I'm not used to this.
Marc:You put the earphones on and the guitar is too, it's right on top of your vocal.
Marc:And you know what?
Marc:I'm not going to sit here and make excuses.
Marc:I do what I can.
Marc:I've been listening to a lot of,
Marc:Jimmy Reed lately and this one song has particular resonance with me because my girlfriend Jessica is sort of she's a morbidity addict I hope she doesn't get offended and I'm telling I'm saying that but she she watches murder shows constantly and she watches hoarders constantly and
Marc:And every time I come home and turn the TV on, there's always that, you know, that tone to the show.
Marc:That music is like when Megan was 17, she had no idea that the relationship she thought was going to be the best relationship of her life.
Marc:Where's this going to the trunk of a car?
Marc:That's where or to some unsolved mess in a swamp or something.
Marc:It's never going to be a good ending.
Marc:And I always that's what I turn on to, you know.
Marc:It's like I'll watch Chopped.
Marc:I enjoy the Chopped.
Marc:Yeah, I squirt out a few tears during the Lunch Lady episode.
Marc:No doubt about that.
Marc:That was a rough one.
Marc:But I'll go, well, TiVo Chopped, and then it'll go off, and then we'll be right in the middle of some fucking swamp mess or some jail show or Hoarders.
Marc:I can't watch Hoarders.
Marc:It's horrible.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:those people there's no the sad thing the reason i can't watch it with it without feeling gross you know sort of nauseous is i i have a bit of hoarder in me i've talked about this before but there's really no closure at the end of those shows you don't get the sense that like well that's resolved at least with intervention they got a few days clean out of it you don't know if they'll make it or if they'll relapse but with hoarders 90 of the time it's like we couldn't get all the shit out of the house
Marc:You know, it's kind of gross.
Marc:We found three dead cats in there and half her toe was eaten off by a mouse and her family didn't understand how she could sit in that stuff.
Marc:But we really don't know if she'll stop.
Marc:I'm like, how is that an ending?
Marc:Whatever the case, I've become to get a little panicky.
Marc:A little panicky about the girlfriend's obsession with murder shows and crime shows.
Marc:I mean, what's up?
Marc:Do I got to start?
Marc:Should I be concerned?
Marc:Should I be worried?
Marc:Am I going to die in my sleep?
Marc:Am I being conned?
Marc:Is she a grifter?
Marc:What is happening?
Marc:Just coffee.coop.
Marc:Pow.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Just shit my pants.
Marc:WTFpod.com.
Marc:Why don't you go over there and get some of that?
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Is that all right?
Marc:So I don't know, man.
Marc:I'm just a little panicky.
Marc:A little panicky about the old lady killing me in my sleep or taking me for a ride for a grift.
Marc:But isn't all marriage that?
Marc:Isn't all relationships that?
Marc:Isn't it all just the long con?
Marc:Isn't it just about locking in on your mark and taking them for all that you can?
Marc:Is that a negative way to look at relationships?
Marc:Is that the negative way to look at it?
Marc:Is a good relationship just another version of the long con?
Marc:I hope she doesn't kill me.
Marc:I swear to God.
Marc:Let's say I hope she doesn't murder me.
Marc:I have no doubt that she's going to kill me.
Guest:If you leave me, baby.
Guest:Say you won't be back.
Guest:It will be the end of me.
Guest:Cause I will have a heart attack.
Guest:You better get some insurance on me, baby.
Guest:Take out some insurance on me, baby.
Guest:Cause if you ever ever say goodbye I'm gonna haul right off and die Darling how I love you Long as I got breath If we part I know sweetheart Be like clubbing me to death You better get some insurance on me baby Take out some insurance on me baby
Guest:Cause if you ever, ever say goodbye I'm gonna haul right off and die Don't get no sick accident Cause I'm as healthy as it can be If you had any sense, you'd take a hint And get a pen life on me You don't know me, baby Like I know myself
Guest:I couldn't live if you should give all your love to someone else.
Guest:You better get some insurance on me, baby.
Guest:Take out some insurance on me, baby.
Guest:Cause if you ever, ever say goodbye...
Guest:I'm gonna haul right off and die.
Guest:Yeah, if you ever, ever say goodbye.
Guest:I'm gonna haul right off and die.
Marc:That one worked out all right.
Marc:Oh, my God, you guys.
Marc:Did I just sing for you?
Marc:Well, that song has a certain resonance to me because I think that what's going to happen is I'm going to end up living with my girl.
Marc:She makes me happy.
Marc:I'm scared of that.
Marc:I hope you guys aren't too scared of it.
Marc:I'm sure you're more scared of the insanity that can ensue, but I don't know when it's going to happen.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:Maybe I shouldn't rush into talking about that.
Marc:Maybe I really shouldn't.
Marc:Maybe we should just get to Henry Phillips and sing some songs.
Marc:Maybe that would be better.
Marc:where'd you just did you come in from somewhere you've been out i was in nashville uh at zany's and nashville yeah i saw your picture there so that's gonna be fun that's a great club and it's a great city which picture did they use uh it was new i mean you look good was it the profile shot not that it's about me but like sometimes i get to clubs and i'm like holy fuck is that picture even out there still how do i get that it's a new
Guest:one oh good yeah no i hate yeah and especially some of these places it's like i have new pictures i spent money on new pictures but for some reason they're just using the one that they had 15 years ago i fucking hate that i hate that you get video oh yeah it's like me tanking in some shitty club you know bar in la that i don't even know how they got it like i must have had a manager at some point that sent them this thing and i'm like i have a half hour special in comedy central that might get butts in the seats better than this thing of people throwing shit at me
Marc:With the one of the camera not moving in the back of the room?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Waitresses walking in front of it the whole time.
Marc:Horrendous.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So, wait, Nashville.
Guest:Do you got people in Nashville?
Guest:I feel like there's pockets out there.
Guest:And I've been playing there for several years, but I'm not a very good marketer.
Guest:And so I kind of – it's really difficult to be a Henry Phillips fan, I'm finding.
Guest:It's like you have to do a lot of research.
Guest:yeah a lot of work well for a long time I just had my buddy doing the website and I would feel very timid when I had to call him and say hey man I got these new dates and I was wondering if maybe you could if you get a chance you could put them up there and that's you know an extremely important thing and
Guest:So people would always be like, hey, I just found out you're in Nashville.
Guest:I wanted to check you out.
Marc:But, you know, I had no idea because the guy decided he didn't want to.
Marc:Yeah, exactly.
Marc:He didn't have that time.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Well, tech guys, I think, by reputation are generally swell.
Marc:But I thought, oh, by the way, in the garage now, Henry Lee Phillips, the I'm not going to call him.
Marc:You know, it's one of those things I had Thune in here and.
Marc:People thought I came down a little hard on him for his use of a guitar, but there's a difference between a guy who plays guitar as part of his act and a guy that uses his guitar as an effect so he doesn't have to be alone up there.
Guest:Yeah, I mean, well, the weird thing is I've always heard that, you know, about guitar comics.
Guest:And I've had friends, you know, when I started that gave me shit about it.
Guest:And I remember going to like the San Francisco Punchline.
Guest:That was the first club that I did outside of L.A.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Going to the Green Room.
Guest:It was like that Sunday night show where there's a bunch of amazing comics.
Sure.
Guest:And they don't know who I am anyway.
Guest:I'm already the foreign guy.
Guest:And then I also have a guitar.
Guest:Oh, God.
Guest:I always said it was sort of like the guy who shows up to an orgy and everybody knows he's the one with herpes or something.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Well, there's that judgment.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:What do we got here?
Marc:Yeah, they look at it the same way.
Guest:Song parodies?
Marc:Yeah, exactly.
Marc:We can do some goofy numbers.
Marc:But I started out as a singer-songwriter.
Marc:Well, that's why I was asking about Nashville.
Marc:I mean, did you ever do any time down there in that racket?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Well, no, because I was never able to, since I was at the comedy club, I was never able to really tap into the singer-songwriter market.
Guest:Where'd you start?
Guest:It seems like different people.
Guest:I started here in L.A.
Marc:You started in L.A.?
Marc:You don't seem like a guy who comes from L.A.
Guest:Well, I was born in New York City.
Guest:We moved to Englewood, New Jersey for a few years and then moved out here when I was about 12.
Guest:12.
Marc:So I guess it's a better story to come from Los Angeles than it is to come from Inglewood.
Marc:Yeah, well.
Marc:There's no real mythic drama about Inglewood, New Jersey.
Marc:That's northern Jersey, right?
Guest:Yeah, Bergen County.
Marc:Yeah, and that's where I come from.
Marc:That's where my roots are.
Guest:Yeah, well, you know, it's weird.
Guest:I was only there for a couple of years, but I met some really solid friends, and I think a lot of who I am came out of that couple of years.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:When you were 10 through 12?
Guest:Yeah, really solid friendships.
Marc:Are you still friends with them?
Guest:I am with a couple, yeah.
Guest:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:How old are you?
Guest:Yeah, my buddy.
Marc:I'm 41.
Marc:And you're still friends with people that you met in New Jersey?
Guest:It's amazing.
Guest:For the two years you lived there from age 10 to 12.
Guest:Yeah, my buddy's Andrew Forsty and my friend George Torgeson.
Guest:Yeah, we still talk on the phone.
Marc:So what was so impactful?
Marc:Did you guys come upon a body?
Guest:Do you have a secret?
Guest:You know, it was like the whole block of kids.
Guest:would just all do, you know, we called it Flashlight Tag, you know, and we'd go out and, like, the entire, I mean, there were, like, 30 kids would all be involved in a game.
Marc:And that was the war that bonded you?
Marc:I guess so.
Guest:You were in the foxholes of Flashlight Tag, and you watched each other's back.
Guest:Yeah, and I discovered music, you know.
Guest:I remember...
Guest:I started playing guitar when I was eight, and I had this babysitter, and he was turning me on to Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath and all this stuff.
Guest:That's important.
Guest:And I told my guitar teacher I wanted to learn how to play Stairway to Heaven.
Guest:This sounds like such a cliche story.
Guest:You had to learn it.
Guest:Yeah, and as soon as I got it, he started bringing all of his buddies, his teenagers over, and he said, yeah, this kid can play Stairway to Heaven, you know?
Guest:And that's when I felt like, oh, this is cool.
Guest:If you learn something, you get to impress the older kids or whatever.
Marc:Could you do it all the way through?
Marc:Do you pass the first few verses?
Guest:No, I think I just got the riff, the opening riff.
Guest:Then it just turns into chords.
Marc:That's all you needed was the opening riff.
Guest:But yeah, we used to go to the amusement parks out there.
Guest:I remember Action Park.
Guest:Do you remember that?
Marc:No, I remember Palisades Park.
Marc:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Marc:It might have been closed down by the time.
Marc:I mean, you're 41, you said?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I'm 47.
Marc:Palisades Amusement Park, like Fort Lee, New Jersey, right up there against that.
Marc:But I think it's gone.
Guest:I think that was gone.
Guest:Yeah, Action Park was this place where it was completely unregulated.
Guest:It was like you'd just swing on a tire over a cliff or something with wet feet on a rock like 100 feet high, and there'd always be people dying there.
Guest:It wasn't like Six Flags where it's all regulated.
Guest:Did they put that in the advertising campaign?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:Bring your kid, he could die!
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But then, yeah, and so I started kind of... And I feel like education was different there.
Guest:It's like the teachers seemed to take stuff a lot more seriously, contrasted with L.A.
Guest:But then, yeah, my brother and I, we moved out with my parents when I was 12, and it was just a complete culture shock.
Marc:Was it a job thing?
Guest:My parents are actors, yeah.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:Yeah, my dad did a bunch of theater in New York, and...
Guest:He got some TV gigs out in L.A., and then it seemed like the natural thing.
Guest:Do I know him?
Guest:Marlon Brando?
Guest:No, I'm just kidding.
Guest:Yeah, I'm familiar with that guy.
Guest:No, you probably don't.
Guest:His name's Bill Wiley.
Guest:A lot of people recognize his face from the 80s.
Guest:He worked a lot, but he's basically retired now.
Guest:And then my mom did a bunch of commercials.
Guest:And so my brother and I just kind of like we're going from back east.
Guest:It's like we were we were all headed in this direction of where we were going to be back east people, you know, where we you know, there is a certain sensibility there.
Guest:There's a certain, I don't know, set of values or whatever that are a little different.
Guest:And about New York.
Guest:Yeah, or back East in general.
Guest:Again, the education and then the richness of the friendships and stuff like that.
Marc:But it also seemed to have that kind of an artistic integrity to it.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Marc:Like L.A.
Marc:was sort of like beaches and doofuses and show business.
Marc:But, I mean, that's a way of life.
Marc:Southern California is a way of life.
Marc:And the East Coast way of life is more urbane and sophisticated.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:We're going to bookstores, man.
Guest:Exactly, exactly.
Guest:And so I had to change really fast.
Guest:But it's kind of weird looking back that I might have been a different person if we'd have stayed out there.
Guest:Like if you'd stayed in New York?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Did you ever live in New York?
Marc:Yeah, we lived in New York until I was about 10.
Marc:No, but I mean as a grown-up?
Marc:No, no.
Marc:You've always stayed here.
Marc:That's weird.
Marc:I decided that you were like Midwestern.
Marc:I've made a lot of decisions about you, Phillips.
Marc:I know, it's weird.
Marc:He's got a tale to tell from Kansas.
Guest:I know nothing about that.
Guest:Maybe you're putting out some... Except for the last 10 years of playing... On the road.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But it must be interesting.
Marc:I can't imagine what it would be like to grow up with basically a TV character actor.
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Marc:who was fighting that fight, because now as grown-ups, we know what it's like to go on auditions and to sort of commit your life to this ridiculous racket that we're in.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Marc:But what was it like growing up with that?
Marc:Did he always work?
Marc:Did he make a good living acting?
Guest:They did all right.
Guest:His philosophy was he was extremely conservative financially, so...
Guest:So you got nothing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:If he, if he made like, let's say, yeah, exactly.
Guest:That's true.
Guest:I mean, if, if he may have a bike, not until I get this role.
Guest:No.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:We, we weren't able to do a lot of like a spontaneous, you know, vacations and stuff.
Guest:Cause my dad didn't have an income where we knew what it was going to be.
Guest:So for example, just to make the numbers round, if he made a hundred grand in a year, he would look at it.
Guest:Like I made 33 grand, uh,
Guest:Yeah, save it.
Guest:Every year for three years.
Guest:Oh, okay.
Guest:That would be the way that we'd look at it.
Guest:So, yeah, we were basically... But the culture shock going from New York to L.A.
Guest:was absolutely amazing.
Guest:And my brother and I had a rough time with it, you know, because it's just totally different.
Guest:The school that we were in is just 100% white.
Guest:So that was kind of interesting.
Guest:In Jersey?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No, no.
Guest:Out here.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And we used to go to this place, the Pinball Plus, around the corner and hang out with all these kids.
Guest:Video games?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And there was a weird, there was a funky kind of a religious cult thing going on at this place.
Guest:At the video place?
Guest:Yeah, at the Pinball Plus.
Marc:Video game place?
Marc:At the Pinball Plus?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:What'd you have to do?
Guest:It was so weird.
Guest:It was like... I just want to play pinball.
Guest:Yeah, well, my brother... Why do I have to kill this animal?
Guest:Yeah, well, it's not too unlike that.
Guest:We were just playing these video games and hanging out with these kids.
Guest:Just kind of picture the whole bad news bears kind of kids.
Guest:The fat kid, the tough kid.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Guest:Snotty kid.
Guest:So we're playing there and this became kind of our social group.
Guest:You know, we play like Pac-Man and Defender and all that stuff.
Guest:And then all of a sudden we found out, well, the owner, Ron, if you go up and say a Bible verse to him, then he will give you a free token, you know, that you could play a game with.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And my brother and I were like, oh, cool.
Guest:You know, it's kind of weird, but all right.
Guest:And so we'd go up and say, you know, whatever.
Guest:Did you have to go look in the Bible?
Guest:No, it would be like a Bible verse of the day.
Guest:And then that they had at the pinball place.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Everyone was hip to it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:I mean, you can't picture this happening like in Englewood, New Jersey or something like that.
Marc:I'm having a hard time picturing it, but I can picture it happening in America.
Marc:So, so there's very weird.
Marc:So there's a Bible verse.
Guest:Oh, by the way, just for people out there, it's not LA.
Guest:I mean, I was deep in the San Fernando Valley in the suburbs, you know, actually, uh,
Guest:So, yeah, it was kind of like the Wild West.
Guest:And they knew that was a way to get a free game.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then later on, these guys wound up having something called the Christian Club.
Guest:This guy, Ron, and this guy, Norm, and they owned the place together.
Guest:And they started inviting kids to be part of the Christian Club.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:And...
Guest:Does this get filthy?
Guest:It was sort of an extension.
Guest:It got really weird.
Guest:This guy, Ron, had to leave for some reasons that we don't really know.
Guest:Leave the pinball palace?
Guest:Yeah, something weird happened with Ron.
Guest:Did you ever write a song about the pinball palace?
Guest:I should have, man.
Guest:I haven't really thought about it much, but I'm just trying to say that that's the extreme thing.
Guest:It's like there was some weird stuff that wouldn't have happened back East.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, the religious thing, I think.
Guest:And it was also, it's like you said, the culture thing was kind of lacking, you know.
Marc:Where'd you end up going to high school and stuff?
Marc:And what was the transition into?
Guest:Not too far from here, actually.
Guest:La Crescenta, which is a little bit north.
Marc:Oh, yeah?
Marc:So you lived a suburban Los Angeles adolescence.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And you decide to be a singer-songwriter along the lines of what moved you to do that?
Guest:Well, yeah, I never put down the guitar.
Guest:Like I said, I started when I was eight, and then a few years down the line, I started getting into the electric guitar, and then I was just having a blast with that, and I was playing in bands and things like that.
Guest:Yeah, any good ones?
Yeah.
Guest:I thought we were good at the time.
Guest:I was in a band called Abyss.
Guest:Oh yeah, sure, Abyss.
Guest:And yeah, we did the high school talent show, which was exciting.
Guest:Was that like hard rock?
Guest:Yeah, well, it was like metal.
Guest:Oh yeah, you went all the way to metal?
Guest:Yeah, metal was the thing that I was really into.
Marc:Was that like the late 80s?
Guest:Early 80s.
Guest:Early 80s, Abyss.
Guest:Henry Phillips was a guitar player for Abyss.
Guest:Band called Executioner at one point.
Marc:Yeah, Executioner.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, hell yeah.
Marc:Were you into that kind of stuff or no?
Marc:No, I'm just riffing on the names.
Marc:I'm just trying to picture.
Marc:So longer hair, I'm thinking.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Did you go all out?
Marc:Boots, jacket, leather pants.
Marc:Do you have leather pants?
Guest:I had some red spandex pants.
Guest:Oh, fuck.
Marc:Good for you.
Guest:Spandex zebra.
Guest:How big was the hair?
Guest:Hairspray?
Guest:Pretty damn big hair.
Guest:uh i might have experimented with hairspray at some point i got a perm yeah you got a perm for for which one abyss or execution that was more for abyss okay we were trying yeah it was it was there was a period of time in the mid 80s that um that all the bands started looking a little bit more like girls that we could never talk to and that was kind of that's kind of made up for it look i can fuck me
Guest:I'm so fuckable by me.
Guest:Look at my hair.
Guest:But that's when it got weird.
Guest:Like the stuff that I was really into was like, yeah, again, the early Sabbath and then Led Zeppelin.
Guest:And I think what I liked about Zeppelin so much is that they're, you know, because there was all that talk about them being satanic, but you wouldn't look at their album covers and go like...
Guest:Like if you look at ACDC, Highway to Hell, Angus has his horns and everything.
Guest:He's a clown.
Guest:We're Satan.
Guest:Yeah, it's like a novelty thing.
Guest:Whereas if you look at Zeppelin IV.
Guest:You're like, where is it?
Guest:Yeah, you've got Zoso and then these weird symbols.
Guest:What's the guy with the sticks mean?
Guest:The guy with the bunch of sticks on his back.
Guest:He's got a bundle of sticks on his back.
Guest:Bundle of devil sticks.
Guest:Those are devil sticks.
Guest:Which I think is a faggot.
Guest:I think that's the name of a bundle of sticks.
Guest:Is it a faggot?
Guest:Is that what it is?
Guest:I think so.
Guest:I think that's the official term.
Marc:I don't think anyone uses it that way.
Marc:Rarely would you find anyone going, I have $5 for this faggot.
Marc:You would not hear that.
Marc:Not here.
Marc:No, I think that Jimmy Page lived for a while in Ali Esther Crowley's home.
Guest:Yeah, he was kind of into the occult.
Marc:On the Loch Ness.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Something like that.
Marc:And they were into the real deal, which I always thought was kind of cool.
Marc:I think Jimmy was.
Marc:I don't know about the other ones.
Marc:I think he dabbled in the black arts, but what does that even mean?
Marc:It just means it's a discipline, a spiritual discipline like any other that has to do with self-actualization.
Marc:It's just got a little more behind it, and it's a little darker than some of the other ones.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But it was cool.
Guest:Yeah, I always liked the more mysterious approach to it as opposed to the... I fucking love Zeppelin, man.
Marc:I mean, I listen to Zeppelin.
Marc:yeah it's right in there with the rotation i'll kick on gallows pole uh you know i i think i did a couple you know less than a week ago i listened to gallows pole and i love that song so much until the banjo comes in and then i literally have a moment where i'm like i can't fucking believe what were they experimenting no i know but it's such a beautiful riff yeah
Marc:And then, like, bee-dee-dee-dee, and a little fucking banjo, are you serious?
Marc:And I get angry every time I listen to it, but it doesn't stop me from enjoying it.
Marc:Yeah, that's three, right?
Marc:Zeppelin III.
Marc:Gallows Pole is on three, yeah.
Marc:And then I've been listening to Presence.
Marc:There's a couple of songs like that.
Marc:Like, I remember when that came out when I was in high school.
Marc:It was not really acknowledged as a great Zeppelin album, but it's a great, great fucking Zeppelin album.
Marc:And even I'll listen to In Through the Outdoor, because I remember when that came out when I was in high school, because they were done.
Marc:And then it was like, they're back, this is it.
Marc:You know, in through the outdoor.
Marc:And all that, like, really poppy shit.
Marc:But it was still great.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then, you know.
Marc:I got Sabbath and Vinyl right in there.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Marc:Which one?
Marc:What is it?
Marc:Masters of.
Guest:Reality.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:Oh, that's fantastic.
Marc:I was never used to a Sabbath guy, but I picked up the vinyl somewhere, and it's so interesting to listen to this shit on vinyl, because you can hear how it's supposed to be layered and sound, and it's a lot thinner than blasting your brains out with a fucking CD that's been digitally remixed.
Guest:Oh, no, it's great.
Marc:It's kind of nice.
Marc:I listened to Iggy's Rob Howard.
Marc:Some guy gave it to me.
Marc:I can't fucking stop listening to it on vinyl.
Marc:It's so different.
Marc:Oh, man, I love it.
Marc:All right, so now you're doing metal, and then when does the other thing start to evolve?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, then I kind of put it down for a while.
Guest:I went to UCLA, got a degree.
Guest:I was kind of like... In what?
Guest:Political science.
Guest:I was an English major at first, and then I switched over to political science.
Guest:The reason I say that is because they didn't have a minor program, but I feel like I should get some credit for all the English shit that I did.
Marc:Sure, I majored in English.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so I thought maybe I'd go legit for a while.
Guest:And then like the last year.
Marc:What was that plan?
Marc:Like a lawyer?
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:Either a lawyer or a journalist.
Guest:That's what I was doing.
Guest:And I was applying to grad schools and stuff.
Guest:But the last year of school at UCLA, I started doing...
Guest:i had a bunch of musician friends and i had a couple of tunes that i would do just to make my friends laugh and uh one of my buddies is like dude you got to go up at this place the up front comedy club and just start uh you know just do that song like in the middle of their show or whatever and uh i was like all right i'm not really a comedian or whatever but that'd be fun and um and i did and i met this whole group of new friends and uh we we
Guest:were, you know, hanging out all the time, and suddenly I just kind of was like, this seems like more the scene that I want to be involved with.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it went well, you know, and I was doing the same song for like a year.
Guest:One song.
Guest:Yeah, just one comedy song.
Marc:So at that time, though, were you legitimately writing songs?
Marc:Were you, like, pursuing your music at all?
Guest:Oh, absolutely.
Guest:No, I had a few really kind of cheesy, like, wear your heart on your sleeve kind of folky type songs I was doing.
Guest:Who were your guys?
Guest:I mean, I was really into, at that time...
Guest:uh i liked billy joel a lot james taylor uh really yeah i love that singer songwriter type stuff and i like which billy joel album uh probably 52nd street um the stranger i remember when that came out when i was a kid it was like damn yeah that was great i stayed up late to watch him on snl it was it was that was a big record
Guest:yeah and so yeah i mean i had i had pretty mainstream tastes in music after mudslide swim in the blue horizon i'm lost yeah and then later i started getting into cooler stuff like tom waits um you know like in the early 90s yeah and that really blew my mind you know because i was like wow this is really beautiful music but it's also kind of the lyrics sort of jump off the page a little bit you know there's there's some flat out almost comedy songs in there yeah definitely and uh so i was really inspired by that and um
Guest:So, yeah, I finally said to myself, well, I think I could actually do this because I enjoy it.
Guest:I can do music and I can let my sense of humor kind of creep through.
Guest:And so I started putting a bunch of songs together and I started doing sets around L.A.
Guest:The Highland Grounds was a place I used to play a lot at.
Marc:I remember that.
Marc:Early 90s?
Marc:94, yeah, something like that.
Marc:Yeah, shit, I remember that scene.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Dave Cross and those guys were hanging around.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Those guys were all around.
Guest:And so I guess I was doing a show at the Genghis Cohen and Bud Friedman came down.
Guest:I remember that place, too.
Guest:I had a little bit of a following going on.
Guest:I had a mailing list and I had a whole thing going on.
Guest:Back when there were mailing lists.
Marc:yeah and like you'd actually put stamps on things oh for sure yeah and i you know isn't that interesting yeah i had several hundred people i i'd have so much fun making the flyers they were completely like projects in and of themselves trying to you know make isn't it amazing that there was this hands-on time where you do a gig and you'd pass a clipboard around or you put a card on every table and you'd get a you'd get an actual mailing address
Marc:Well, and that worked.
Marc:And that worked for a long time.
Marc:In L.A., I think that's one of the ways people do it here is that if you can pull that shit off here, like you can either go out on the road and bust your balls for 10 years and build up a national following, or you can bust your ass around L.A.
Marc:for five or six years and build a local following and get some heat on you to get some industry attention and then get a shot at going big.
Yeah.
Guest:yeah and um and it built and then um bud comes to gingham why was he there to see you there was a there was a lady who was an old actress named ann jeffries from like the 50s or 60s or something like that and um and she uh she was a fan she would come to the shows and she actually uh brought bud freeman down and then bud afterward was like man the obvious route would be to go you know to the comedy clubs and
Guest:he started putting me up at the improv yes you're very funny yeah yeah exactly and so um and so then i started that's how i kind of got into the comedy thing but i guess going back to your original thing about the guitar comic thing it's like i never really had a choice as a matter of fact i did i remember doing this club one time where it was in toledo and the guy afterward after my set which at that time was pretty much all music and the guy says uh
Guest:He goes, wow, that guitar, you really use that as a crutch, don't you?
Guest:This is the owner, you know, telling me that.
Guest:And I was like, it sounded so weird to me.
Guest:I was like, well, what do you mean?
Guest:That's all I do.
Guest:You know, it's like, that's like telling a magician, you know, it's like, well, wow, you really use that.
Guest:Yeah, that.
Guest:That whole deck of cards.
Guest:Yeah, it's like, well, what the fuck do you want me to do?
Marc:You're hiding behind those cups.
Marc:Yeah, I mean, that's my act.
Marc:Hiding behind that rabbit.
Marc:Well, no, well, that's what I had a conversation with Nick Thune about, but it's different, and I know that it weighs heavy on Thune.
Marc:Like, look, if you're just using a
Guest:Well, Nick's going up doing just regular stand-up.
Guest:No, I know.
Guest:I know.
Marc:But that was my point is that he knew that.
Marc:It was just a texture that he was using the guitar to create a tone and have something to hold on to while he told his jokes.
Marc:It was completely superfluous, I think is the word I want.
Marc:Whereas you're writing songs.
Marc:So you can't go up there and go, I'm going to do a little acapella number for you.
Marc:It wasn't...
Guest:No, but in his defense, though, I mean, there's also, I mean, I guess you probably gave Zach shit about it, too, because he did the same thing.
Guest:No, I brought him up.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, there's been people that have done that, but it's not really musical comedy.
Marc:Or like Hedberg's got the bass going throughout the back of his...
Marc:yeah well that was later i mean i don't think he ever did that early on i thought that was his first like breakout album really i think i think his breakout was that half hour comedy central presents but i worked with him a few times and it might have been a fluke thing he didn't travel with a bass player that i know i think he did chuck savage i don't know really but yeah he was doing it for a while um but i don't know i don't want to you know
Guest:I understand exactly what you're saying, but maybe it does make it a little bit easier.
Guest:It fills up the gaps in between that are sometimes difficult to deal with.
Marc:Maybe you're changing my mind a little bit.
Marc:I mean, there is sort of a jazz tradition, I guess, if you want to have a little riff going and you've got a certain rhythm to what you do, then, yeah, okay, all right.
Marc:Okay, but I...
Marc:Look, I'm one of those guys.
Marc:I'm like, you know, there was a time when I was younger, and granted, my opinions have changed over time, where I was like, where's the pure comedy?
Guest:Oh, no, it's, you know, Doug Stano is one of my best friends, or a really good friend, anyway.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He's kind of, I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for him.
Guest:And we met at the improv, and he actually, we were buddies for a few years.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:and um and uh but uh you're actually okay you know so and then he started bringing me out on the road and then that's how i wound up getting that's how i met you a couple years later at the at the houston laugh stop and that's how i got to uh minneapolis and a bunch of cool so he got you started on the road that's right okay so that's where we first met at the houston laugh stop you were dating a waitress right uh comic
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Joanie?
Guest:She was an open miker at the time.
Guest:Was it Joanie?
Guest:No, Sarah Talamash.
Guest:Sarah?
Guest:Yeah, you remember Sarah?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, she's very funny.
Guest:She's still around?
Guest:Yeah, she's in New York now.
Guest:She's doing great, as far as I know.
Guest:And she was from Houston?
Guest:Yeah, from Houston.
Guest:So that was sort of my home away from home.
Guest:I was really excited.
Guest:I didn't realize it at the time, but I was actually peaking.
Guest:At that time.
Guest:I was like, whoa, this is fun.
Guest:I thought I was on the bottom of a big hill that I was going to go up.
Guest:And I was like, oh, this is pretty much it.
Guest:I'm having a great time.
Guest:What happened?
Guest:So you ended up touring as a feature primarily or what?
Guest:Yeah, but the act went well, and the club owners would be like, hey, let's have you back to Headline, and that happened several times.
Guest:So we were talking about the building the following, and as soon as I started doing these shows on the road, I mean, I already had two CDs by the time I went to my first feature gig at a club, and they were recorded at the LA Improv, and it was like...
Marc:you know really tepid response but i was like oh i thought that was a good response i thought that was scaling and then i started going on the road and then hearing people really laugh and and having a good time and well music's different see that's the other thing that music insulates you from is that that risk of uh of acknowledging whether or not you're you're killing or not because it's a different it's a different set of ears in the sense that like if someone hears a song if no one's going god damn it shut up
Marc:I mean, if they're listening to a song and chuckling at the right places, I mean, that's pretty good because you're a singer.
Marc:But you can tell.
Guest:But the big disadvantage is if a lot of people are trained that as soon as they hear music, that's like time to talk.
Guest:Like if they're on a date and they're going to like a...
Guest:coffee house or like a bar or something and there's music right that means you can talk so i have to deal with that quite a bit especially if you're trying to do that kind of sucker punch approach where it's like oh this is a serious song but but listen it gets funny a lot of times they don't get to the listen part but um but so i just i pretty much dropped the whole mailing list and all that stuff because i was like oh all i have to do is just show up and there's already people there the club takes care of it and so uh
Guest:I just kind of wrote on that.
Guest:And this kind of goes to what we were talking about a little bit before the show, but I came back to the Hollywood Improv and did a show.
Guest:I had been doing a lot of really good shows there, and I had my whole mailing list.
Guest:And this is after I was on the road for about a year or whatever, and I'll never forget this show.
Guest:I really went all out.
Guest:I had probably 100 or so of my fan base that I had built for a long time.
Guest:I also had a guy from the L.A.
Guest:Times...
Guest:My manager at the time, I had a publicist.
Guest:I had a bunch of comics that were hanging out that had been like, oh, I have to keep hearing about this guy.
Guest:He's supposed to be good.
Guest:Let's go check him out.
Guest:It was really the kind of situation that you sort of want to do well.
Guest:And, man, as soon as I got up there, I had these hecklers from hell.
Guest:They were just like... So this is your big night in L.A.?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Your night.
Guest:Yeah, these gangbanger dudes.
Guest:And right from the very beginning... Black dudes?
Guest:No, I believe they were Mexican dudes.
Guest:Mexican gangbangers.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I remember going up, and my opening joke at the time was something about...
Guest:Somewhere it said gun in it.
Guest:I don't even remember.
Guest:But my uncle had a lot of guns or whatever.
Guest:And this guy's just like, yeah, I got a gun and it's fucking loaded, bitch.
Guest:What are you going to do?
Guest:Oh, great.
Guest:Hey, how's everybody doing?
Guest:Yeah, and this is in front of so many people.
Guest:Thanks for coming down.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Yeah, and I didn't really have any chops in terms of like, you know.
Guest:Crowd work?
Guest:Yeah, and I don't know if I really wanted to open any doors there.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That wouldn't be the place to learn.
Guest:Yeah, but it was like literally everything that came out of my mouth.
Guest:I'd say something else, and it was like, yeah, that's pretty funny, fucking bitch.
Guest:What do you think that's fucking funny?
Guest:And it just kept on going relentlessly.
Guest:No room management?
Guest:Nobody.
Guest:As a matter of fact, it was all women who were running the place who were just going up very politely, excuse me, guys, you can't really talk during this show.
Guest:Shut up, bitch.
Guest:Yeah, fuck you.
Guest:And I just tried to get through the show.
Guest:I was told later that the guy from the L.A.
Guest:Times got up.
Guest:and uh and told uh my manager uh hey uh look this is too awkward i gotta get out of here he felt unsafe yeah yeah oh great and that's so he took journalist splits there's some commitment to uh getting the story i gotta go someone might get hurt oh man it was the worst feeling ever and um and eventually these uh there was one bouncer guy that finally at the very very end of the show
Guest:they sent this guy in, this guy Frank, I don't know if he's, he hasn't been there for a long time, but he, well, they called the cops, and the cops eventually wound up dragging one of the guys out.
Guest:During your show?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, great, that's a nightmare.
Guest:Did you play through that?
Guest:And then it turned into like a fight out in the parking lot, and it was just like, it was just the ultimate nightmare, and that's kind of where I was like.
Marc:Where's that song, Henry's Big Night?
Marc:That's the title of that song.
Guest:Oh, yeah, I'm sure it comes.
Guest:Well, it's still to this day.
Guest:Sometimes I'll think about that heckler.
Guest:Like I'll be writing a song, you know, and I'll write the one line.
Guest:I'm like, is this funny or not?
Guest:And I'll hear that guy just like, yeah, that's pretty funny, you stupid fucking bitch.
Guest:You know, it's like it's still I can't get rid of it.
Guest:Like he's on my shoulder.
Guest:And I'm like, yeah, you're right.
Guest:It's not that funny.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But so that's when I was just like, all right, well, if somehow or another I can be in the stereotypical like shitholes in, you know, like.
Guest:i don't know a bar in lake jackson texas or whatever and i have a decent set and not have any incidents like that and then i go to my own home club in hollywood and just get the most ruthless you know shitty uh attention like that but that's the weird thing about having a home club in hollywood that you know it's not that club is made for people from everywhere else no i know you know it's weird it's like it really felt like a home to me for the longest time and you know it was a lot of fun you know a lot of friends there and a lot of history and i
Guest:Again, I was like a kid in the candy store when I first started hanging out there because it would be like all these famous comics and everything.
Guest:And that wears off, I think, as you get older because you're sort of like a lot of the same conversations over and over again for 15 years.
Marc:I don't even set foot in the place.
Marc:Because the thing that always bothered me about that place is that if you are on the mid-level, which is where we are,
Marc:And that even if they know you, kind of, there's always going to be a few dudes at work there that they don't fucking know you and they don't really look out for you.
Marc:And you're always going to be, you know, second fiddle if anyone comes in that's above you.
Marc:And it's just like, I know that's the nature of the business, but there's nowhere that reeks of it more than that place.
Marc:Oh no.
Marc:So that like whatever level of respect that you get to within your community that, you know, if it isn't within the show business's eyes, they'll just fuck you.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But you know, whatever.
Guest:And I don't even blame some of these guys.
Guest:Like if you're hanging out with a buddy of yours who's since gotten a lot of success maybe recently, but it's a guy who not necessarily was able to, you know, get laid for 10 years or whatever.
Guest:And all of a sudden they want to enjoy that.
Guest:It's like, all right, Henry, I've got some hot chick that wants to talk to me right now.
Guest:So take it.
Marc:Well, that's different.
Marc:I'm talking about like, you know, bumping me on a headlining night for some fucking bozo.
Marc:That's pretty messed up.
Marc:Or, you know, or like that.
Marc:And it's always been that way in comedy.
Marc:It's like you waiting to go on and then fucking there becomes a level where it's like, OK, I'm going to get bumped.
Marc:But who am I getting bumped by and why?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know, there's whatever.
Marc:That's my own beef.
Marc:No, I know what you mean.
Marc:It's just you got to suck it up and like, yeah, well, that's it.
Marc:Good for him, man.
Marc:He made it.
Marc:Oh, fuck.
Marc:But whatever.
Marc:I understand.
Marc:I didn't mean to derail your story.
Marc:No, that's all right.
Marc:You went through some shit, so the cops came.
Marc:Yeah, and then I was just like, whoa.
Marc:Was that one of those shows where you got done and people were like, hey, man, you know, it's all right.
Marc:Oh, it was embarrassing.
Marc:It was just embarrassing.
Guest:It's the worst feeling.
Guest:People didn't even want to look at me on the way out.
Guest:Oh, fuck.
Guest:Yeah, and this is like, I...
Guest:I made these people come and watch me.
Guest:And it was just like... So I think after that, I was terrified of going up at the improv for the longest time because I was like shell-shocked.
Guest:And so I didn't for a long time.
Guest:And you just went on the road?
Guest:Yeah, I just went on the road and I was having a good time with that.
Guest:And then things started...
Guest:you know going really well well you started you got in with bob and tom right and that makes it yeah oh yeah yeah and that was a big one because all of a sudden club owners would just email me and say hey i heard you on the radio let's have you do a week here at the club and that was cool um and yeah it turned into a whole career i eventually got the half hour special in comedy central and then that was that was pretty good and then uh
Guest:But yeah, I still feel like you're always kind of constantly trying to reinvent yourself or figure out what your place is.
Guest:I don't think that what I do is exactly for everybody.
Guest:And so I still have to deal with like when I go to a club.
Guest:Maybe 20% of the people know who I am and the rest of them are just like date people that just walked in.
Marc:And they have a general sense of what they think comedy is.
Marc:I always wonder about that.
Marc:What is their general sense of expectation when they walk into a comedy club?
Marc:What are they fucking thinking?
Guest:yeah and then people come up afterward and they're like have you ever thought about just taking a famous song and just putting like a funny that that would be good if you did that yeah well parody how about a little song parody yeah wasting away in diarrheaville like just say that you know oh just say diarrhea in a song yeah like everybody does yeah
Marc:But so was that the impetus for making the film?
Marc:I mean, you do have this independent film, Punching the Clown, which I watched, which is great.
Marc:And I could identify with it.
Marc:And I'm like, all right, this is a did you do that on your own?
Guest:The director was a friend of mine in college.
Guest:We were both political science majors.
Guest:And again, like that last year at college, I started doing comedy and he was about to go become a filmmaker and go to film school.
Guest:But we kept up, and I would tell him these stories.
Guest:Ever since I first started, I would tell him stories about stuff, and he would be like, man, this is good stuff.
Guest:We need to really make a movie about this.
Guest:Like road stories?
Guest:Well, at that time, it was all industry.
Guest:It was all local industry.
Guest:local stuff because i wasn't really on the road like for a lot of the 90s so it would just be like a dumb conversation i had you know i don't know if you remember there's like this is a real thing i had a uh a publicist who came up and she was like i think uh a good tagline for you would be like james taylor on smack okay and i'm like well james taylor actually was on smack you know so it's and she's like well so and i'm like well then that's like you can't say that that's like saying you know
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:That is the limit of a publicist's creativity, too, right there.
Guest:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Guest:No, and then this lady was kind of funny because I also did a show where everybody was talking throughout the whole thing.
Guest:I think it was at the Highland Grounds.
Guest:She came up to me afterward, and she was like, you really need to do something.
Guest:You need to figure out a way that when they're talking, you can get their attention.
Guest:Like, for example, this might be a good thing.
Guest:Maybe when you're up there, you could say...
Guest:excuse me this is my time this is my time and i'm talking now you can have your time afterward and i'm like oh that's a great that's a great idea yeah if i were talking to children so yeah i would have gotten you know my ass kicked probably if i tried to say that in the but um but yeah so there's all these like when was that film made
Guest:We made the film, shot it in 2008.
Guest:So, yeah, but we had been talking about making it for literally about 13 years.
Guest:When did you release it?
Guest:Officially 2010.
Guest:So it's pretty new.
Guest:Yeah, it's out on Netflix and everything.
Guest:But, yeah, we put it in the festivals.
Guest:And we had a long history of it.
Guest:We actually made a prototype movie of it and got that into some festivals like years and years ago.
Guest:Who wrote it?
Guest:It's all basically based on my stories, and the director helped.
Guest:But wait, the twist didn't happen, though, did it?
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:That's the only thing.
Guest:The movie is basically a bunch of stories strung together that are true stories.
Guest:We didn't want to make a mockumentary or whatever, and so we decided to go full narrative 90-minute film.
Guest:And so we knew that we needed a plot.
Guest:And so this was at the time that all that stuff was going on with the Kramer situation and Dog the Bounty Hunter and everybody getting accused of being a racist.
Guest:And so I thought, wouldn't that be hilarious if it's like this is the one guy that this happens to, but he never said any of those things.
Guest:Yeah, so let's not spoil it too much.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:But that part is fabricated.
Guest:And a couple of the stories are exaggerated or at least...
Guest:pounded into it to sort of fit the thing and i thought it was interesting that there was not any sordid uh sexual uh activity no no i'm not yeah i mean i guess you're gonna fabricate stuff that's probably why the uh the movie isn't as successful as we wanted it to be but um
Guest:No, it's all pretty much based on true stuff, and I don't have a lot of those types of details.
Guest:I mean, I do, but God, I wouldn't want to throw too much of that in there.
Marc:Oh, yeah?
Marc:That doesn't play into the road mythology?
Guest:It's not as funny to me.
Guest:I think it's funnier when people try to get laid and they don't.
Guest:Right, sure.
Guest:But yeah, one of the things, for example, in the movie that is an example of something that we tried to make to recreate that wasn't quite as funny as when it happened in real life
Guest:Is that I have, I had this roommate at the time who had a bunch of t-shirts and he gave me, he donated a bunch of t-shirts to me and I was like going through them.
Guest:I'm like, I'm not going to wear this.
Guest:One of them had like meet his murder and they were all like really big statements.
Guest:And then I came across one that was just a question mark.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was like, all right, well I can wear the one with the question mark.
Guest:And so I went out and I did a show and I met a girl and then we went to this French restaurant afterward.
Guest:The place that used to be across from the improv is like the moustache.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Nice French restaurant and we're having dinner and I was talking to her and at some point I said something like, I don't know, I don't use a lot of bad language or whatever.
Guest:I was trying to get laid or whatever.
Guest:And this girl goes, yeah, like lick my balls.
Yeah.
Guest:I was like, okay, I don't know why he said that, but whatever.
Guest:And then 10 minutes later, I said something else.
Guest:And I was like, so, you know, whatever.
Guest:And then she goes, yeah, like lick my balls.
Guest:And I go, why do you keep saying lick my balls?
Guest:And she goes, your shirt.
Guest:And I'm looking at my shirt.
Guest:It's got a question mark on it.
Guest:And she goes, no, the back.
Guest:And I never even really looked at the back.
Guest:So then I just went to the bathroom and I looked and tried to look in the mirror and just as giant as you can imagine on my back, it says, lick my balls.
Guest:And it's got a little diagram of like a penis with like a hairy balls and like a flaccid penis.
Guest:cartoon of a dick and i'm walking around this french restaurant you know so i just look like one of those complete tacky guys you know i was just walking around a french restaurant with lick my balls and which i'm not that kind of guy yeah at all you know on a date with this girl who was like she was like from dallas or something kind of conservative or whatever and uh so how'd that date end up uh
Guest:That was the end of it.
Guest:Oh, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:She didn't lick your balls.
Guest:Well, I think she was just kind of confused about the whole thing.
Guest:As were you.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:How'd you explain that?
Guest:I just, I had no idea that this, you know, and I still have to walk around with a shirt because I didn't have another shirt, you know, but the problem is that when you try to put something like that in a movie, people ask, well, who's going to pull it on a shirt?
Guest:That says... They won't believe that you were that stupid.
Guest:Yeah, they won't believe that.
Guest:But the reality is it does happen.
Guest:When it does happen in real life, it's hilarious.
Guest:And then sometimes when you watch a movie, you go, well, that's bullshit.
Marc:Well, you want to do some songs?
Marc:Yeah, man.
Guest:Why don't I?
Marc:No, I would...
Marc:I'm not going to play with you.
Marc:No?
Marc:Unless you ask, because I... Oh, yeah, let's do it, man.
Guest:I can do one.
Guest:Do this tune?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:This is a tune... Oh, you know the one I'm talking about.
Guest:Yeah, this is... I know this song.
Guest:It's good.
Guest:This is my song about... Well, there's a documentary on the whole Columbine situation, and one of the most touching parts is that one of the kids apparently...
Guest:while they were going around shooting everybody, he made eye contact with one of the dudes and said, look, you were cool to me.
Guest:And then he didn't shoot him, and then he killed all the other people, I guess.
Guest:And I thought that was a very touching, lovely story.
Guest:And that's kind of what this song's all about and how important it is for us to be nice to each other now in this day and age.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:He's the kid in the back of the class Who always keeps to himself And the other kids call him Quasimodo Cause he's got some hunch upon his back And his hair's all filled with grease And he only wears a trench coat And instead of taking notes He draws pictures of Satan
Guest:But please don't laugh at him.
Guest:Don't even crack a joke.
Guest:Don't blow your spit wads in his face or piss in his coke.
Guest:Cause someday he might come to school with a snub-nosed 38.
Guest:And if you're nice to him, then just maybe he won't kill you.
Guest:And if you see the fat kid walking through the halls and he's got plaid shorts, don't say, hey, look, everybody looks like someone stole my couch.
Guest:And just because the weird guy throws a baseball just like a little girl doesn't mean he doesn't know how to make a bond.
Guest:And when you see some guy who ain't got no arms, don't throw a rock and say catch.
Guest:Because nowadays they can have that shit surgically reattached.
Guest:And then he'll be able to pull the trigger on a sawed-off shotgun.
Guest:And if you're nice to him, then just maybe he won't kill you.
Guest:All the film freaks and the drama geeks and the people with braces and the pizza faces and the four eyes and the thunder thighs and let's not treat them with scorn.
Guest:Cause someday they'll find the combination to their grandfather's fucking gun collection and they'll form a militia and make you wish you had never been born.
Guest:And when you're a coward under your desk someday, you can flash them a little smile.
Guest:And say, remember me, I'm the dude who said hello to you once in a while.
Guest:Maybe then he'll pause and say, well, you know, I guess that's true.
Guest:And instead he'll bump off the guy right next to you.
Guest:So next time you want to pick on a nerd, please choose a jock instead.
Guest:Because I'd rather go home with my underwear all up my ass than with a stomach pumped full of lead.
Guest:And especially be extra kind to the kids in the science club.
Guest:Cause they're the ones who know about nitroglycerine.
Guest:And if we're nice to them, then maybe we'll just get along.
Marc:Nice.
Guest:Thanks, yeah.
Marc:That's nice.
Marc:True story.
Marc:True story.
Guest:Based on true events.
Guest:Sure, man.
Guest:Every time I want to do that song in the clubs, it feels like, you know, it's like, all right, it's been about two years since we've had one of those things.
Guest:I can finally start bringing that shit back.
Guest:And then it fucking happens again, and I'm like, it's always like groans.
Guest:Groans city.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So these kids got to stop shooting each other so you can find a little traction with that number.
Marc:Make some fun of it, you know?
Marc:Yeah, exactly.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:Oh, man, that's a good one.
Marc:Thanks, man.
Marc:Well, let me see if I'm in tune.
Guest:All right, let's do this.
Guest:Don't forget Mozart once said the two most beautiful sounds in the world were the sound of a musician tuning his instrument and the smack of a hand across a girl's ass cheek.
Guest:Did he?
Guest:Yeah, and he said it in German or whatever, but...
Marc:I once watched Jerry Garcia tune for 45 minutes.
Guest:That's awesome.
Marc:On the Terrapin tour when I was in eighth grade.
Marc:I don't think I appreciated it as much then.
Guest:Did you know that he was just tuning?
Marc:No.
Guest:Oh, okay.
Marc:There was a lot of tuning going on at the Dead shows back then.
Marc:Oh, man.
Guest:One time I saw a guy, I don't know if he's tuning his trombone or whatever, but he was doing that spit valve thing where he's just spitting the whole time.
Guest:I was like, this is the worst musician I've ever seen in my life.
Guest:Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Guest:There we go.
Guest:I think we're close enough for rock and roll, as they say, right?
Guest:Whoa, look at that.
Guest:All right.
Marc:I'm going to take my... Okay, yeah, that's where you're going to go.
Guest:Yeah, I mean, is that cool, some G Blues?
Guest:Why don't we do a little bit of this tune that I wrote with my good friend Rick Overton, comic Rick Overton.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:And the whole idea is that all the blues, you know, it seems like the blues is always about taking your despair and turning it into, you know, art.
Guest:But what if there was a guy who wanted to sing the blues, but everything's actually going pretty good?
Guest:And this song's called Fresh Out of the Blues.
Okay.
Okay.
Guest:And just do some lead.
Guest:Nice.
Guest:I got the rent paid on time.
Guest:I got a refrigerator filled with booze.
Guest:My car's running fine.
Guest:Gets pretty good gas mileage.
Guest:Damn things are going good.
Guest:I got a beautiful wife.
Guest:She's a bisexual nymphomaniac nurse.
Guest:She has a perfect credit score and a hysterectomy.
Guest:I guess that things could be worse and now I'm fresh out of the blues.
Guest:I'm fresh out of blues.
Guest:All right, now here's a modulation to E flat here, but you can still kind of do the G blues scale and it should work.
Guest:My baby only cheats with other women, which is just fine with me.
Guest:I got a hole in the door where I can see everything.
Guest:I got one hand on the brandy that leaves my other hand free.
Guest:I'm living proof in the flesh that you can be fresh out of the blues.
Guest:Take it.
Take it.
Guest:That's pretty good stuff, dude.
Guest:I think there's a final verse in this one.
Guest:Let's see.
Guest:I got a condo in Florida and my bank account's cool.
Guest:While all my friends from high school are still writhing in their own stool.
Guest:And did I mention to the ladies that I'm hung like a mule?
Guest:I'm living proof in the flesh that you can be fresh out of the blue.
Guest:That's pretty good stuff, man.
Guest:Yeah, I know.
Guest:You know what you're doing for sure.
Marc:I'm a bit limited.
Marc:Oh, that's cool.
Marc:But that was good for a song I never known, I never played, never attempted.
Marc:Well, nobody's ever known that song.
Marc:That's part of the problem.
Marc:What's one of the other ones you played in the movie?
Marc:I can't remember.
Guest:Uh...
Guest:Is it alright if I choose one here?
Guest:I've got my closing song in there, which is kind of about the road, and it might kind of be a little bit of a nice summary of a lot of the stuff that we've talked about.
Guest:Let's do it.
Guest:It's called I'm in Minneapolis, You're in Hollywood, and it's just, it's kind of...
Guest:that song about when we have so many uh friends that we see become basically like superstars you know and uh yeah you don't gotta tell me and then uh you know so this is a song about being on a shitty you know shitty hotel or a comedy condo whatever on the road and you're just flipping through the channels and you see your buddy just uh kicking ass great here we go i'm in minneapolis you're in hollywood and i heard for you things are going pretty good
Guest:You're screening your calls.
Guest:I'm freezing my balls off because I'm in Minneapolis and you're in Hollywood.
Guest:I'm in Amarillo, Texas.
Guest:You're in La La Land.
Guest:And I just did a show and got heckled by the Ku Klux Klan.
Guest:You're having sex on the beach.
Guest:I'm opening for Screech.
Guest:Cause I'm in Amarillo, Texas.
Guest:And you're in Hollywood.
Guest:I'm in Opelousas, Louisiana.
Guest:You're in Tinseltown.
Guest:And I just saw your face on TV while I was flipping around.
Guest:You're signing some girl's boob.
Guest:I'm reaching for some lube because I'm in Opelousas, Louisiana.
Guest:You're in fucking Hollywood.
Guest:I'm in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.
Guest:You're back in L.A.
Guest:And I heard you were making $3,000 a day.
Guest:You're at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
Guest:I'm next door to an Al-Qaeda cell.
Guest:There's mud coming out of the water spout.
Guest:And the toilet paper just ran out.
Guest:So excuse me if I sound just a little off kilter.
Guest:I've been wiping my ass with a fucking coffee filter.
Guest:Cause I'm in wherever the fuck you said it was.
Guest:You're in Hollywood.
Guest:I'm in a bowling alley somewhere near Oskaloosa, Iowa You're on the walk of fame And the people here seem to think my songs are lame I just did a show and they hated my guts Some chick with a mullet just kicked me in the nuts Same damn song for the 2000th time You are the blossom and I am the vine I'm gonna go to the hotel and drown my sorrow Does anybody have a fucking rope I can borrow?
Guest:Cause I'm in a bowling alley somewhere near Oskaloosa, Iowa You're in Hollywood
Guest:Yeah, I'm in a bowling alley somewhere near Oskaloosa, Iowa.
Guest:You're in Hollywood.
Guest:I'm in Minneapolis.
Guest:You're in Hollywood.
Marc:Nice.
Marc:That's fucking hilarious.
Guest:Thanks, man.
Guest:That's, uh, yeah, definitely based on some real shit.
Marc:I can feel, I can feel the real shit.
Guest:Yeah, the rope, uh, yeah, I mean, a lot of people have, uh, have, like, often, wasn't there a guy in Houston who killed himself in a hotel or something?
Guest:I think back when I started, and I was just kind of like, wow, why would anybody do that?
Marc:Yeah, and then... Of course, now we know.
Marc:Well, you know, I think that, in all honesty, people that head that direction are wired to head that direction.
Marc:I think it's a rare thing that people kill themselves over circumstance if they're not already deep in the groove of darkness.
Guest:Yeah, no, I think that's true.
Marc:And I think that, you know, thank God you play guitar.
Marc:Because, you know, like, look, I'm not a guitar player.
Guest:Because otherwise I'd be one of those guys.
Marc:Well, no, but, like, there's something about, like, more than anything else in my life...
Marc:And I sort of stayed at the same level of musicianship that I've been at for many years, but I'm good enough to where if I want to come out here and blow off some steam and get lost, I can pick that thing up and do it.
Guest:Oh, absolutely.
Marc:And it works.
Marc:And it's great to hear someone play so well and have those darkly revealing but funny songs.
Marc:I mean, there is definitely a line to ride.
Marc:I imagine that someplace...
Marc:If you had the balls to play your more earnest songs, that would be curious.
Guest:Yeah, it's tough.
Guest:I mean...
Marc:I mean, you can't do it in the situation you've set up for yourself.
Guest:Well, yeah.
Guest:I've painted myself in this kind of corner.
Guest:But, you know, another guy that I was always a huge fan of is Ben Folds.
Guest:And I think that when I started listening to his music, kind of like the Tom Waits thing, I was like, oh, this is pretty cool because he's got really, really good music.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And yet the lyrics, again, you know, the lyrics can be about frivolous kind of things or funny things.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I don't know.
Guest:I feel like...
Guest:it'd be pretty hard for me to go back to, to, to ever write a song, you know, that's just a completely serious song, you know, for a girl, you know, it, it feels like the, the lyrics have to somehow jump off the page or jump right at you somehow.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:How much do you write?
Guest:Um,
Guest:I write a lot of music.
Guest:The music idea is, again, when I'm in the grain room at these clubs, I'll sit there and play guitar for a half hour or if I'm in the hotel sometimes.
Guest:And so music is always going.
Guest:The problem is, I have 40 songs now and several CDs, and I'm just like, in terms of coming up with, well, what's a funny idea?
Guest:Because the way that I've always...
Guest:the criteria that I've always used for whether a comedy song I think is good or not.
Guest:And I'm not saying that I always like, you know.
Marc:Well, you cover that in the movie a little bit.
Marc:And I thought that was some really funny shit about show business and about the nature of what's popular and what isn't popular.
Marc:I like that element of it where you're trying to lay down some tracks for the dudes you got the record deal with.
Marc:And I also thought that the character.
Guest:Based on a true story, too.
Marc:I think the character of your brother, that guy's funny.
Guest:Oh, yeah, he's great.
Guest:Is he a comedian?
Guest:Yeah, he was my roommate for the longest time.
Guest:What's his name?
Guest:I feel like I've met him.
Guest:Matt Walker.
Guest:But yeah, he was doing Batman at birthday parties while he was my roommate.
Guest:And yeah, he's fantastic.
Guest:And he used to do a bit where he would act out my songs, like sort of do a mime to my songs.
Marc:Well, you have a little bit of that in the movie, and it's actually kind of touching.
Guest:Yeah, it's cool.
Guest:Yeah, no, we were able to definitely capture a lot of my favorite things.
Guest:And even since the movie...
Guest:happened especially in the last few years with all this you know festivals and stuff like that i've had more and more of these like kind of really self-deprecating conversations that happen you know or whatever and uh and and it's it's fun to take those and show them to people and show how embarrassing and let's all laugh at them you know uh again i think the lack of success is a lot funnier than success itself in terms of certainly the problems are more relatable for
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:I remember when I saw Spinal Tap in the beginning, when I was a teenager, my friends and I were laughing my asses off, and I knew a couple of musician guys that were in their late 20s or early 30s, and they watched it, and they were just depressed.
Guest:They just thought it was depressing.
Guest:They were like, oh, man, we had that, man.
Guest:We showed up to the record store, and there was nobody there.
Guest:And it's like, I don't know.
Guest:I'm hoping that this movie is depressing to some people, but hopefully it makes people laugh.
Yeah.
Guest:The thing that I wanted to get out was if you do a song, and this is why it's hard sometimes to be very prolific, is that I think the question should be if you took the music out of the song and you just had the bit itself, would it be a funny bit?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I try to strive for that.
Guest:I mean, hopefully, like with the Columbine one, it's like the idea, and it's been several years since I wrote that,
Guest:It's like, would it be funny to go on stage and talk about, it's more important now to be nice to people than it used to be, but now it's for a much more utilitarian reason.
Guest:We need to not kill each other.
Guest:Sure, that's a funny concept, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, and that's the hope.
Guest:Whereas if you take the music out and the song is just...
Guest:a bit that you've been hearing comedy, you know, comedians do for years, in my opinion, it's not really as worthy, you know, and I'm not saying, you know, I necessarily achieve it all the time, but I'm saying that's why it's difficult for me to keep cranking out, you know, after having about 40 of them, you start going, well, I feel like I've done a lot of fun.
Guest:uh, a wide range of topics here.
Guest:And, and then the other problem is that most songs are only about, I mean, 80% of the songs are about love and I've got about, you know, about a hundred, you know, I didn't do any today, but most of my songs are about, you know, relationships.
Guest:Oh yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Um, do you want to do one more?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:All right.
Guest:Sure, man.
Marc:Do one about failed relationships.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Why don't I do, well, this one, um,
Guest:This is a song that used to be a real song that I wrote for a girl.
Guest:She's out there somewhere.
Guest:Maybe she'll be hearing it.
Guest:And then I completely changed the lyrics, and I like it a lot better now.
Guest:So here we go.
Guest:She never was abused when she was younger And her father never up and ran away And even though her family gave her all the love she needs Somehow she's a bitch anyway Me, I tried to be her shining hero
Guest:I said I love you two thousand fucking times a day I showered her with presents bought from the finest shops in town But somehow she's a bitch anyway And then when I'd tell her my funny little stories She'd say, well, I guess you had to be there
Guest:I played her my favorite news song She said it sucks And when the evening news shows homeless people She says it's their own damn fault And then she hits me up for 50 bucks Somehow she's a bitch anyway
Guest:She's a farm Can bitch anyway
Marc:Sweet.
Marc:Henry Lee Phillips.
Guest:Yeah, so that came from basically having a conversation.
Guest:I was like, well, what's up with that girl?
Guest:Did she have some problems growing up or whatever?
Guest:And then my buddy was like, no, she's just a bitch.
Guest:And that was just funny to me.
Guest:It's just like some people are just a bitch and there's nothing you can do.
Guest:And then Billy Joel has...
Guest:always a woman to me which is basically the exact reverse it's like you know she does she lies and she does all these awful things but she's always a woman to me and this is kind of the opposite but um just for fun i'll play a little bit of the of what i remember of the old uh song that that was based on that wrote for this girl brandy it was something like like the placid water flows all the way to the ocean shore
Guest:I will be with you that way.
Guest:I mean, come on.
Guest:That's fucking cheesy as hell, isn't it?
Guest:I mean, that was my real thing, man.
Guest:I had that song and I was so happy.
Guest:I thought that was going to be like a huge hit.
Guest:All my friends were like, that would have been great.
Guest:It might have been.
Guest:That's hard, man.
Guest:It's hard to stand out.
Guest:Then you're that guy.
Guest:Yeah, I know.
Guest:But I was writing songs that were already kind of done back in the 70s, so it wasn't really working anyway.
Marc:Well, I mean, it's tricky.
Marc:That whole thing has sort of resurfaced, you know?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Well, look, man, it was great talking to you.
Marc:Hey, thank you.
Marc:And the movie is Punching the Clown, and you can get that on Netflix.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Right on, buddy.
Marc:Thanks a lot, man.
Marc:That's our show.
Marc:I hope you like that.
Marc:Henry Phillips is a great guy.
Marc:It's good stuff.
Marc:I enjoyed it.
Marc:Go to WTFPod.com for all your WTFPod needs.
Marc:You can get the apps.
Marc:You can get the coffee.
Marc:JustCoffee.com.
Marc:Get that poster, the Coop poster.
Marc:Only got 75.
Marc:Also, there's new merch for Christmas.
Marc:Cat stuff, mug stuff, swag bags, buttons.
Marc:Sorry, just showing off.
Marc:That's all I know, though, seriously.
Marc:I couldn't play a song for you.
Marc:I couldn't, like, if you said, hey, do you know that song?
Marc:I'd go, nope.
Marc:Does it, is it anywhere in the, does it go, is that three chords?
Marc:Is that the song you're thinking of?
Marc:Is it?
Marc:Is it?
Marc:Is that it or is this it?
Marc:Because if it's not either of those, there's a good chance I don't know it.
Marc:That's the range of my... Oh, God.
Marc:Boomer!
Marc:Boomy!
Marc:Boomer threw up.
Marc:That's one of those weird, that would be a segue to like, my cat threw up on the deck.
Marc:That's why I wrote this song.
Marc:I ain't gonna do it.
Marc:I'm not gonna do it.
Marc:All right, so Arlington, Virginia, Cinema Drafthouse, Arlington Drafthouse, this tomorrow night and Saturday, and then get those tickets to Boston at the Wilbur, January 27th.
Marc:You guys are great, and I love you.
Marc:yeah how's it go yeah
Guest:Oh yeah, all right.
Guest:Take it easy, baby.
Guest:Make it last all night.
Guest:She was an American girl.
Guest:Yeah, she was an American girl.
Guest:Raised on promises.
Guest:She couldn't have thinking that there was a little more life somewhere else.
Guest:After all, it was a great big world.
Guest:Lots of places to run to.
Guest:All right.
Guest:That's it.