Episode 23 - Wyatt Cenac
Marc:Lock the gates!
Guest 4:Are we doing this?
Guest 4:Really?
Guest 4:Wait for it.
Guest 4:Are we doing this?
Guest 4:Wait for it.
Guest 4:Pow!
Guest 4:What the fuck?
Guest 4:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?
Guest 4:What's wrong with me?
Guest 4:It's time for WTF!
Guest 4:What the fuck?
Guest 4:With Mark Maron.
Marc:Okay, let's do this.
Marc:How's everybody doing?
Marc:How are you?
Marc:What the fuckers?
Marc:Now, look, I am glad you're here.
Marc:I'm glad you're listening.
Marc:Welcome to the show.
Marc:I'm very excited about this show today.
Marc:We've got Wyatt Senac.
Marc:You might know him as a correspondent on The Daily Show.
Marc:He's going to be here.
Marc:We're also going to get my dad on the phone, who, because of this flu vaccine thing, I got a little flack from it.
Marc:And I talked to my dad about it.
Marc:And there's some people out there.
Marc:I'm getting emails that are saying, look, your dad's got the right idea.
Marc:The wellness idea, the idea of preventative medicine is where it's at.
Marc:And you should talk to him more about that.
Marc:He's a brilliant guy and he's a medical professional.
Marc:So I had to suck it up and put aside the fact that he's still my crazy dad.
Marc:And, you know, maybe we can talk to him about some real shit in terms of our health.
Marc:And we're going to give that a whirl today if we can get him on the phone.
Marc:I got an email to address right out of the gate about what I call you people.
Marc:I mean, I understand.
Marc:I fought with a couple of options.
Marc:We had what the fuck anistas, what the fuck Aryans, what the fuckers.
Marc:And then I get this email from Joe.
Marc:Mark, I realize that the suffix heads is probably overused in describing fans of any particular person or thing.
Marc:Dead heads, parrot heads, gear heads, etc.
Marc:But I believe the ideal name for your fans of your podcast, myself included, of course, is what the fuck heads.
Marc:Now, I don't know about that.
Marc:He says, if James Lipton ever interviews me and asks my favorite curse word, I will respond definitely with fuckhead.
Marc:In my opinion, fucktarians, fuckingistas at all just makes it sound like you were trying too hard.
Marc:Really?
Marc:So you would think it'd be better if I said, what's up?
Marc:What the fuckheads?
Marc:I don't think there's any way to make fuckhead an endearing thing.
Marc:And I understand that you may...
Marc:Consider yourself a fuckhead.
Marc:And I understand that this is the name of my show, but I think what the fuckers is a little more compassionate, a little more pleasant.
Marc:I don't know if I'd like to be called the what the fuckhead.
Marc:I appreciate the sentiment, but I think I'm going to have to move beyond it.
Marc:I hope everybody's doing all right since I last talked to you.
Marc:It's been pretty interesting.
Marc:I'm trying to move from New York to Los Angeles or back to Los Angeles.
Marc:I find it very aggravating.
Marc:And now I've become completely obsessed with the idea that everything just has a thin sheen of swine flu on it.
Marc:I understand there's a lot of overreaction that the swine flu is not as bad as the regular flu.
Marc:And that however you feel about vaccinations, this or that.
Marc:I just don't want the flu, period.
Marc:And when you live in New York, I'm surrounded by people all the time.
Marc:And I'm not a Purell kind of guy.
Marc:I'm not a hand sanitizing person.
Marc:I do not have that particular obsession.
Marc:But now I was on the subway last night and I get this.
Marc:And this happens every time that there is a sickness in this city, every time.
Marc:Winter comes and colds and flus come.
Marc:I get on a subway and there's some guy standing right next to me just like, and I just picture just little SWAT teams of viral cells scaling up my face into my nose, into my eyes.
Marc:I had to stop myself from saying, dude, you know, cover your fucking mouth.
Marc:Could you just cover your mouth or not go outside or something?
Marc:We got a whole bunch of people here.
Marc:Then they got the heating vents.
Marc:I'm going nuts with this.
Marc:And I just, I feel like there's just flu things.
Marc:on everything that everything i touch is flu it's just contaminated but i'm moving past it i'm trying to get past it and then i was in los angeles as some of you know for a little while now i'm back because i had a personal experience where somebody left me a sign and i don't know how to interpret it really i got home from los angeles after being five you know five days away and
Marc:And I get to my apartment in Queens and I go up to the second floor where I live.
Marc:I know the people in the building kind of, but we're, you know, a couple on a first name basis, but I don't know who they are exactly.
Marc:So I get to my door and there's something hanging off of my door.
Marc:There is something in a bag hanging off of my door.
Marc:I take it off of my doorknob.
Marc:I look in the bag and there is a box of matzah, a box of matzah in the bag.
Marc:And I bring it into the house and it had been opened.
Marc:It was it was a used box of matzah.
Marc:It was a taped shut box of matzah with half the matzah in the box.
Marc:It was, you know, old Passover matzah.
Marc:But I don't know any Jews in my building.
Marc:I don't know who would do that.
Marc:I don't know what it means.
Marc:I mean, granted, it's not a swastika on the door or a star of David, but it just sort of implies something.
Marc:There was no note.
Marc:There was nothing.
Marc:What does that mean?
Marc:All I took it to mean is we know you're a Jew.
Marc:Here are your crackers.
Marc:I mean, I don't know.
Marc:I don't think it was a negative thing.
Marc:I mean, I didn't eat the matzo, but I really wish it was a no.
Marc:There was some identifier other than like, enjoy the crackers, Jew.
Marc:Your holiday's over.
Marc:Here are your crackers.
Marc:I don't know what the hell to do with it.
Marc:I mean, I'm waiting for someone to own up to it.
Marc:Maybe it's my neighbor.
Marc:It's somebody listening to the podcast, but somebody has given me kind of a shitty gift.
Marc:They gave me used matzo.
Marc:I get it.
Marc:Whoever did that out there, if you're listening, please identify yourself and tell me that it wasn't malicious.
Marc:I find it hard to believe that matzo could be malicious, but it's not the greatest cracker in the world.
Marc:It's sort of a cracker of necessity.
Marc:It's a symbolic cracker that we try to convince ourselves is good somehow once a year, no matter what you do with it.
Marc:You can put butter on it, peanut butter and jelly.
Marc:You put it with eggs.
Marc:You make a matzo bra.
Marc:Everything just seems to be an attempt to
Marc:To make the matzo taste like something other than a shitty cracker.
Marc:That symbolizes the fact that we were in a hurry at one time and had to leave quickly and didn't have time to bake properly.
Marc:But that aside, I had another experience that I want to share with you.
Marc:I went to, as some of you listened to Brett Netson on the show.
Marc:And from Built to Spill.
Marc:And I, you know, I knew of Built to Spill.
Marc:I hadn't listened to them a lot, but, you know, I picked up Brett and, you know, took him back to the bus and he put me on the guest list for that night.
Marc:And I'd never seen Built to Spill live.
Marc:And I went with my buddy Stosh and we went to the show and there is a world out there.
Marc:And I've sort of touched on this before.
Marc:There's a there is a a separation.
Marc:There is a wall, a cultural wall between a couple of different types of people.
Marc:I'm not talking Republican, Democrat or or right and left.
Marc:This is this is more of a broader cultural distinction.
Marc:I go to this show.
Marc:And they are an indie rock band.
Marc:The singer is very raw.
Marc:He's balding, but he's very earnest.
Marc:They're sort of a seminal indie rock band.
Marc:And I'm looking around that room, and my buddy Stosh says, man, there's a lot of guys here.
Marc:And I look around, and they're not just guys.
Marc:They're indie rock guys.
Marc:There's a lot of horn-rimmed glasses.
Marc:There's a lot of work shirts.
Marc:There's a lot of, you know, kind of paunch.
Marc:And I said to her, I said, man, this room is filled with nerd cock.
Marc:There was nerd cock everywhere.
Marc:And then I look on the stage and the lead singer, he is a human representation of nerd cock.
Marc:And nerd cock is what has taken over culture.
Marc:That is the war that has been lost.
Marc:Frat cock has lost the war to nerd cock.
Marc:And I don't think that it's more clear than, you know, Hodgman.
Marc:John Hodgman has posted something.
Marc:He's got a podcast on iTunes.
Marc:It's a daily podcast.
Marc:That is relative to this day in the past, I think it's called.
Marc:And I realized that he has figured it out.
Marc:I don't know how long they are, but they can't be that long.
Marc:But he has enough followers to probably keep himself in the number one position for a good long while.
Marc:And then I realized that nerd cock transcends.
Marc:Nerd cock is winning the war.
Marc:You got Corolla about four down.
Marc:I was riding in the top five for a while.
Marc:But I'm somewhere in between nerd cock and frat cock.
Marc:But I definitely see that.
Marc:And I'm making a t-shirt.
Marc:I'm making a nerd cock t-shirt.
Marc:I don't think it's something to be ashamed of because I think that the nerd cock is one, frat cock is now in the backseat, and I'm sort of in the middle, and I'm fine with that.
Marc:I can live with a little nerd cock, a little frat cock.
Marc:I can live with that.
Marc:There might be a better distinction to make, but I just like saying nerd cock over and over and over again.
Marc:Nerd cock, it's a little twitchier.
Marc:There's a little less control, but it is a cultural reality.
Marc:Nerd cock is now the top cock in this culture.
Marc:Moving on.
Marc:I wanted to say, as I mentioned, T-shirts that we're getting close, folks.
Marc:We're getting close.
Marc:You subscribers, you people that have signed on for the $10 a month rolling donation who are anticipating your WTF T-shirts, they are coming.
Marc:I've got the first batch.
Marc:I've got the first hundred and some odd T-shirts sitting at home in Los Angeles.
Marc:I will be putting them in envelopes with other swag for you people that you didn't even expect to get.
Marc:I've got stickers, two kinds of stickers and a postcard as well.
Marc:You will be getting a package with a T-shirt, two kinds of stickers and a postcard if you subscribe for the $10 a month rolling donation or if you donate more than $120.
Marc:That's what you get.
Marc:I'm thinking of sending all you donators a little something.
Marc:I haven't quite figured it out, but this should all be done by Christmas.
Marc:So Merry Christmas to you.
Marc:The other thing that is sort of plowing through my head as we speak.
Marc:is that I need a hit of this.
Marc:Pow!
Marc:Oh, I just shit my pants.
Marc:JustCoffee.coop, available at WTFPod.com.
Marc:Go there.
Marc:Go there now.
Marc:Get some Just Coffee.
Marc:Moon and the hippies up at the co-op have told me that things are going well.
Marc:And this is how you know you're dealing with a with a sort of hippie operation.
Marc:He gets in touch with me.
Marc:He said, you know, you know, we're selling a lot of coffee and we're thinking about doing a fair trade bonus sharing system with you.
Marc:But he's he just had a baby.
Marc:I want to congratulate Moon.
Marc:And he hasn't had time to work out the details of that.
Marc:Let's get into a couple emails real quick, because I think it'll lead me to where I want to go.
Marc:Now, this one I found compelling.
Marc:It just said this is from Amador.
Marc:Hey, love your show.
Marc:Please don't be mad at me.
Marc:Have I put that out there?
Marc:Do you think I don't like adulation?
Marc:I do.
Marc:But this is the one that really got me because this is sort of resonated with me in a in the broader sense of what the fuck and the idea of it, that once we have all gotten into this place where, you know, we're angry, we're frustrated.
Marc:Our lives haven't panned out exactly how we want.
Marc:We're having a hard time in this economy, acknowledging our limitations, seeing that things aren't working out the way we want.
Marc:What to do with that frustration?
Marc:Where does it go?
Marc:It's beyond politics.
Marc:And in my mind and what I've been trying to share here is my own attempts at trying to be more.
Marc:sort of community oriented and more just polite and decent in my day-to-day activities for the reason of the fact that we're all in this shit together.
Marc:And anything that seeks to divide us is bullshit and unnecessary.
Marc:If we really want this all to work out, we've got to take care of each other, even in the most simple of ways.
Marc:I get this email from Margaret and basically it says, you know, I came to work on Monday morning and my assistant store manager comes running up to me and says, quote, okay, you're here.
Marc:The first thing we need to do is figure out what we're going to do because neither of the copiers work.
Marc:So I walk over and look at the color copier on the screen.
Marc:It said, replace yellow toner cartridge.
Marc:I pulled out the new toner cartridge out of the cupboard, pulled the empty one out of the machine, put the new one and printed out about 10 extra copies of the document he needed because he had sent it multiple times.
Marc:And I said to him, you know, it says right on the screen what it needs.
Marc:Next time you should just check the screen.
Marc:It even has pictures showing you how to replace the toner cartridge.
Marc:He said, okay, well, tell me when you get all this stuff done because we're short staff today and I have some projects for you to work on.
Marc:The rest of the day, I kept thinking to myself, what the fuck?
Marc:I have a college degree and I have to take orders from this puke who can't even be bothered to read the error message on the color copier.
Marc:He spent the rest of the day checking up on me every five minutes to make sure I was working.
Marc:And this is the thing that really gets me.
Marc:She says, retail employees are the most underappreciated workers in America.
Marc:People come in talking on their cell phones.
Marc:They yell at us just to see if we will give them a discount.
Marc:They bring expired coupons from other stores and expect us to honor them.
Marc:Meanwhile, our managers are standing over us, pressuring us to sell more paper, cables, extended warranties, and ink.
Marc:We get threatened with reduced hours.
Marc:And when they do cut our hours, they're constantly calling on our days off to see if we can come in and cover for someone else.
Marc:I'm not saying that other workers aren't abused by their managers, underappreciated by their customers.
Marc:I'm saying that retail employees are somewhere on the level of migrant farm workers when it comes to the abuse we take from our bosses and our crappy pay.
Marc:Every day we are reminded that we're easily replaceable.
Marc:And every day I'm told to my face that I should be happy to have a job of any kind, even if it doesn't pay enough to cover the rent or even buy enough food to stagger between paychecks.
Marc:Now, this is something that I'm sort of sensitive to because I realize this.
Marc:I go into Starbucks.
Marc:I go into Radio Shack.
Marc:I go into anywhere.
Marc:I'm on my phone.
Marc:I'm not even paying attention to the transaction.
Marc:I'm just doing it blindly.
Marc:I'm just handing a credit card to the person.
Marc:I'm getting impatient.
Marc:I don't even acknowledge them as people.
Marc:I just acknowledge them as just an extension of the machine that is serving me what I need at that particular moment.
Marc:And it takes an email like this for me to realize, because I'm a self-involved person.
Marc:I'm a self-obsessed guy.
Marc:I don't know if you can relate to that.
Marc:But it's not that I think I'm impolite, which I am.
Marc:I just am not thinking about other people in general in these situations.
Marc:And they're fucking people.
Marc:There are people standing there.
Marc:No one wants to be standing there in a green apron giving you a fucking cup of coffee.
Marc:I don't know how they bend it in their heads to make it okay to be doing that, but they have to do it out of necessity.
Marc:These are the times that we live in.
Marc:I haven't been experiencing the proper amount of empathy.
Marc:I spent literally two hours on the phone yesterday changing my addresses so I can move back to Los Angeles.
Marc:And after going through a series of menu items on a voicemail type of system, you finally get to a person.
Marc:And I tell them what I want and I just go out of my way.
Marc:I had to force myself not to be frustrated with the process and actually say, thank you.
Marc:I appreciate it.
Marc:And it's amazing the tone that changes on the other end when you just say that, that that just to have that human kind of engagement, that that reciprocity makes a big problem.
Marc:fucking difference and when i read an email like this and i realize that i'm guilty of this shit like i go in there just babbling on my cell phone going what just give me the thing i want i just did it at radio shack the guy's like can i get your phone number can i just buy this that
Marc:guy doesn't want to be there i mean i was amazed this is how this is the culture we live in i got obsessed with a jacket at h&m and i couldn't find it in my size at this one h&m so i sat on the phone and started calling other h&ms to try to get them to you know to go look for the jacket that i wanted in my size now there was a time in this country where people had some loyalty to where they worked and it's it behooved them to behave as a good employee but out of three of the h&ms two of them i couldn't even get to pick up the fucking phone and i knew i said this is a tall order
Marc:It was a tall order because I knew I had to ask a retail employee to go into the store and look for something that I wanted.
Marc:And there's no reason they have to do that.
Marc:They could just leave me hanging on hold.
Marc:And I anticipated that.
Marc:So when I finally got somebody who said, yeah, no problem.
Marc:I'll go check it and I'll hold it for you.
Marc:I was like, oh, my God, you're like a hero.
Marc:You had some kind of fucking hero of modern culture.
Marc:You actually did that.
Marc:You didn't have to.
Marc:That is unbelievable.
Marc:I can't tell you how many times I do something, I buy something or I have an exchange with somebody.
Marc:I walk away and I've got to go wait and go back and go, thank you.
Marc:I appreciate that.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:That's all.
Marc:Like, I have to remind myself to say thank you.
Marc:Thank you for listening.
Guest 1:So how are you doing?
Marc:I'm okay, dude.
Marc:I'm doing something with Comedy Central, it seems.
Marc:I got a pilot deal presentation with them.
Guest 1:Well, that's good, because when you said you were doing something with Comedy Central, that left it open as like you were doing a show or you were doing some data entry for them.
Marc:Yeah, it hasn't come to that yet.
Marc:If I'm doing data entry, it's a whole new world, Wyatt.
Marc:Because it's a skill I don't have, really.
Marc:I'm doing it for my own self with the T-shirt orders.
Guest 1:Best thing, you've been good to Comedy Central over the years.
Guest 1:They might say, you know what, Mark, it's time we teach you data entry.
Marc:You're saying that Comedy Central might school me on vocational skills.
Marc:Out of the goodness of their heart for being a contributor over the years.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:We're going to throw you a bone.
Guest 3:Yeah.
Marc:Here's your cubicle.
Marc:Here are the names of comics we need entered onto our website and their links and videos.
Guest 1:Yes, and possibly some accounting information.
Marc:Yeah, that'd be great.
Marc:And I'd say, how come my name's not on this list?
Marc:Oh, because you're doing data entry now.
Marc:Yeah, you're a data entrant.
Marc:Accept it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:My guest in studio is an old friend, Wyatt Senek.
Marc:who is a correspondent on The Daily Show.
Marc:He also appeared in the film Medicine for Melancholy, which I saw.
Guest 1:Oh, did you?
Marc:Without you asking me to see it.
Guest 1:Well, thank you.
Marc:Absolutely.
Marc:Also, many of you know him.
Marc:Probably the most significant work he's done was on the short-lived Marc Maron show.
Marc:I'd like to feel like I was part of the development of what is now the Wyatt Sinek machine.
Marc:I'd like to consider you one of my representatives.
Marc:Yes, I think we did some fine work on that show, some brilliant character work by you, and I think that's really what broke you.
Marc:Isn't that how you got the job at Comedy Central?
Marc:They're like, we heard you on the Marc Maron show.
Guest 1:Yeah, they hadn't even seen me, and then when they saw me, they were like, oh, okay, you're not a troll.
Guest 1:Bonus.
Marc:I knew it.
Guest 1:I knew that was it.
Guest 1:They were willing to put a mask on my face just because they were like, oh, we heard you on the Marc Maron show.
Guest 1:We love you.
Guest 1:We want to have you on air.
Guest 1:And then when I walked in the door, they were like, oh, okay, we might need to clean you up, shower you off.
Marc:Yeah, we had no idea that you had a beard and you're messy.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I enjoyed the movie Medicine for Melancholy, and it's got sort of a French film kind of feel.
Marc:It's black and white, right?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest 1:uh it's not black and white it's actually color but it's really really desaturated like muted kind of somehow yes but it's sort of a sweet movie you want you want to talk about how that came about uh yeah it it is a sweet movie it's it's sort of the writer director is this guy barry jenkins and he lives in san francisco and this was sort of his love story to san francisco um it's a movie about a guy in a
Guest 1:gal who meet up at a party and have a one night stand.
Guest 1:And then we're sort of following them sort of after the one night stand, sort of waking up together and them sort of spending their day in San Francisco and going all around San Francisco and talking about just how the city's changed and gentrification.
Guest 1:And that plays a big role into the movie and into the character that I play in a film who is
Guest 1:feels like he and the city are kind of losing their identity and are trying to grasp onto various things, including this woman that he barely knows, uh, but he had sex with.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You actually go to seek her out.
Marc:I remember you're a bike messenger in the film.
Guest 1:The guy works at, uh, at a fish, at a fishery.
Guest 1:Okay.
Guest 1:That's right.
Marc:He rides your bike everywhere.
Yeah.
Guest 1:Yeah, because in San Francisco, you have to ride your bike everywhere.
Guest 1:Did you ever live there?
Guest 1:Only for the month that we were doing the movie.
Guest 1:I lived there for a few years.
Guest 1:Beautiful city.
Guest 1:Did you ride a bike?
Guest 1:No.
Marc:That's why they kicked you out.
Marc:Yeah, I just walked around high most of the time back then.
Marc:I sort of functioned in a five or six block square radius, a coffee shop, place to buy cigarettes, apartment.
Guest 1:That's a pretty good life.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Marc:Comedy club.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That was the whole life.
Marc:But it is an interesting city in that I never was able to pick up an identity of that city.
Marc:You know, it's a very segregated city in the sense that I never got a sense that there were any black people in San Francisco, that they were moved to Oakland.
Guest 1:Right.
Guest 1:They were.
Guest 1:When Reggie Jackson went to the Oakland A's, in a sort of secret deal, that's why the A's picked him up, to get rid of the black people in San Francisco.
Marc:Can I announce, and I don't want it to be awkward, but you are the first black guy I've had on the show.
Marc:Really?
Marc:And I've got some flack from listeners that are like, where are the black guys?
Marc:And I just want to say you're the first.
Guest 1:Okay, so now I've filled some sort of quota for you, Marc Maron.
Marc:That's basically what I'm saying, Wyatt, is that this was done under pressure.
Marc:No, it's not.
Marc:It's just I'm excited that you're here.
Marc:Are there going to be any more black people on the show ever?
Marc:Easy, buddy.
Marc:Don't push.
Marc:You know, I mean, I'm trying to.
Marc:Of course there are.
Marc:But it's just it's just a matter of getting people to come and do it.
Guest 1:Right.
Marc:It's not it's not everybody that's sort of like what what it's a free podcast where does anyone listen?
Marc:I don't know if I can make it.
Guest 1:Right, yeah.
Guest 1:Oh, it's free, and I don't know if anybody's actually listening.
Marc:They say they are, but... And you've got to come into Air America where we're not sure whether or not we're going to get kicked out.
Guest 1:Right, so this is an illegal... So wait a minute, you also have the black guy on the day you broke into something.
Guest 1:That's what makes it even weirder, is that you've now made me an accomplice to your crime.
Marc:Well, what's going to happen is if the security comes in the room, we're both... Brendan and I are going to look at each other, and we're going to look at you, and we're going to go...
Marc:And just sort of move our hands over towards you.
Marc:And then I'm sorry, buddy.
Marc:You're going to have to take the hit.
Guest 1:That's no, that's I understand.
Guest 1:That's like every other podcast I've done.
Guest 1:Come on, come to this radio show.
Guest 1:We're going to come to our podcast in this radio station.
Guest 1:Yeah, sure.
Guest 1:And then security comes in.
Guest 1:I get arrested and everyone else gets off scot-free.
Marc:We will bail you out.
Guest 1:Oh, that's nice, because normally I've had to bail myself out.
Marc:No, we will bail you out, and we'll shoot it.
Marc:We'll tape it.
Marc:We're bailing out Wyatt, and we're going to post that on YouTube.
Marc:It's going to be called Bailing Out Wyatt.
Guest 1:I would appreciate that.
Guest 1:Every other podcast I've done, they... It's been like that?
Guest 1:They don't bail me out.
Guest 1:They're just kind of like, oh, you're on your own.
Guest 1:Sorry.
Guest 1:That's stuff you should know.
Guest 1:And then they run away.
Guest 1:That's it.
Marc:I don't... You know, I am not...
Marc:Like, I've lived in Boston, I've lived in San Francisco, and these are cities that claim that they're progressive, but Boston is progressive because it has college students there that are a large chunk of the population.
Marc:But I've never seen more segregated cities in those two places.
Marc:You lived in Boston, didn't you?
Guest 1:I didn't live in Boston, no.
Guest 1:You never did?
Guest 1:No.
Guest 1:Where'd you grow up?
Guest 1:I grew up in Dallas, Texas.
Guest 1:Oh.
Guest 1:So, that's... Which...
Guest 1:sort of considers itself a progressive city.
Guest 1:They all do for a few blocks.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:There's a street that's like, oh, Deep Ellum, that's where our progressive part of town is.
Marc:Rainbow stickers and black people.
Marc:It's all right there.
Marc:It's like if you live in New York, you always get that too when you go to any city.
Marc:They're like, oh, you're from New York?
Marc:We got to take you to this area.
Marc:It's just like New York.
Marc:It's like four blocks.
Marc:There's a coffee shop, a bookstore, and a guy talking to himself.
Marc:They're like, eh?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's like New York.
Marc:How do you like living here from L.A.?
Guest 1:I like it.
Guest 1:I was born here and I lived here for the first three years of my life.
Guest 1:And then I used to always come back out here because my grandmother lived out here and I had family out here.
Guest 1:So I like it.
Guest 1:To that end of what you were talking about, what I find weird about living here now is...
Guest 1:like the tourist aspect of New York where the other day I was walking to work and I saw like the fire departments out and there's like a building that I guess it was like some restaurant or something that kind of caught fire and they were all these tourists like just stopped shooting it like filming it taking photos of it in this weird way of like
Guest 1:We've come to New York and look, there's a tragedy.
Guest 1:Yay!
Guest 1:We got our money's worth.
Guest 1:This is a ride at the park.
Guest 1:It's paid off.
Guest 1:It really was.
Guest 1:The amount of just people there just checking it out and not just staring and seeing like, oh, what's going on?
Guest 1:It was pull out the camera.
Guest 1:You got to get the camera.
Guest 1:We got to film this.
Guest 1:We got to tape it.
Marc:Stand in front of the fire.
Marc:Get close to the fire.
Guest 1:Yeah, get close to it.
Guest 1:Seriously, this is going to be great.
Marc:Get next to the fireman doing his job.
Guest 1:Yeah, get in the way, get in the way.
Guest 1:Exactly.
Guest 1:When they make the movie of this, they'll talk about me.
Marc:This is me.
Marc:Remember, this is where we actually caused that thing to burn more because we distracted the fire department.
Guest 1:Yeah, we tried to get the guy and make him take a picture with us.
Guest 1:It was great.
Guest 1:We had fun.
Guest 1:He got fired.
Guest 1:He got fired.
Guest 1:But good picture.
Guest 1:Yeah, great picture.
Marc:So now working on The Daily Show, how long have you been there now?
Marc:What got you that gig?
Marc:Was it the Obama thing?
Guest 1:No, no.
Guest 1:It was the Marc Maron Show.
Guest 1:Okay.
Guest 1:All right.
Guest 1:I appreciate it.
Guest 1:I got the show I was they had auditions in LA when I was still living out there and so this particular time for the auditions they had said like oh we want you to write a piece as well as read one of the ones we've already written and
Guest 1:I had auditioned for the show before in the past and just had to sort of read things.
Guest 1:But getting the opportunity to actually write something, I think that's what actually kind of helped me get the job that's go around because I was able to write something in my own voice.
Guest 1:And the thing that I wrote was actually the first piece I ever did on the show, which it was about the Democratic primaries.
Guest 1:And
Guest 1:saying how boring they were and trying to kind of compare it to TV sweeps and saying that, you know, it needs to be a little more like lost, like they need like a polar bear or something like that.
Guest 1:Right.
Guest 1:So I think in that way it allowed me to get my voice there and they saw that and they were like, all right, we kind of like that idea.
Guest 1:We like where he's going with stuff.
Guest 1:And it was a really quick process.
Guest 1:But right before it, it was a really crazy process because I had just –
Guest 1:Just I'd been repoed earlier that year and the month before I got the job had to move in with a friend because I couldn't pay my rent anymore.
Marc:It's amazing when things happen at the right time.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It almost gives you some sort of faith in something larger than yourself.
Guest 1:To a certain degree.
Guest 1:And that faith, I would say that faith was in Chrysler Financial, who were the people who repoed me and then gave me the kick in the ass to then try and figure out how to get a job.
Guest 1:They took your car?
Guest 1:Yeah, they took, I had a Jeep and they took my Jeep.
Marc:Now, did you talk to the guy when he came over?
Guest 1:You know what?
Guest 1:When I got repoed, they gave me two options.
Guest 1:They said, we either come get it or you can drop it off to us.
Guest 1:And they say if you do a voluntary repossession, they'll be more lenient with you and they'll be nicer and it won't cost as much.
Guest 1:That's a lie.
Guest 1:Let me just say that right now.
Guest 1:To anybody who is listening to this, who is considering a voluntary repossession, if you're given that option, run.
Guest 1:Just enjoy the car.
Guest 1:Treat it like your great grandma and she's only got two more weeks to live.
Guest 1:Just have fun with her.
Guest 1:Just go out.
Guest 1:Get some ice cream.
Guest 1:Just live it up.
Guest 1:Do not...
Guest 1:In any... There's no reason for them to allow you to be tricked into a voluntary repo.
Guest 1:That is the worst decision in the world.
Guest 1:What happened?
Guest 1:Well, first off, I lived right near a Jeep dealership and I tried to drop it off there and...
Guest 1:Right.
Guest 1:Right.
Guest 1:I thought like, oh, I'll drive home one day and then they'll just kind of follow me into the garage and say, oh, you don't need to lock that.
Guest 1:We'll take it.
Guest 1:Right.
Guest 1:Just move it into the next parking lot over.
Guest 1:So I was always like afraid of that.
Guest 1:And then when I did try to turn it in, that dealership was like, no, get out of here.
Guest 1:We don't want it.
Guest 1:We don't want your dirty Jeep.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:We don't want your filth mobile.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So you drive it 60 miles away and I don't assume they offered you a ride back.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:No.
Guest 1:No courtesy, right?
Guest 1:Yeah, that's where the thought of like, oh, they're going to be so nice about this.
Guest 1:They seemed so grateful on the phone.
Guest 1:Thank you, Wyatt.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Marc:Would you like a ride home?
Guest 1:No, no.
Guest 1:None of that?
Guest 1:Yeah, no, it was, all right, give me the keys, sign this paper.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:All right, thanks.
Marc:Are these all the keys?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That kind of thing?
Guest 1:Which I think I actually did keep.
Guest 1:I did keep one of the keyless entry devices.
Guest 1:Let's go get it.
Guest 1:We should.
Guest 1:Let's do it.
Marc:Let's show them, man.
Marc:Well, I'm glad that you didn't see it as your break, because I felt like if they were going to come to Repo, if you called the Repo company and asked, like, you got any Repo guys that are doing a reality show?
Marc:Because I'm in show business, so we can make this interesting.
Guest 1:That's a show, though.
Guest 1:I know.
Marc:That's what I mean.
Guest 1:But have you seen that show?
Guest 1:I haven't seen it.
Guest 1:Oh, there's a terrible, there is an actual horrible show on television.
Guest 1:Right.
Guest 1:about guys who do repo and what's great is they they talk they do their little testimonials where they talk about everything and then they do you see them go out on repos but it's all faked like it's all reenactments but they don't tell the audience that and so there's like one there's one episode i saw where it's like uh
Guest 1:They're going to repo a car at a pool hall.
Guest 1:And then one of the guys goes in to get the keys and he comes out and there are all these like thugs who like beat the crap out of him.
Guest 1:And like the cameras are still rolling on this.
Guest 1:And these guys don't seem to care about the cameras as they're like beating the crap out of somebody.
Guest 1:And then the cops show up.
Guest 1:And the whole time when you see it in the promo, it's like, holy crap, this is insane that they caught this on camera.
Guest 1:But then you start noticing the cops don't have patches on their sleeves.
Guest 1:They don't have badges.
Guest 1:They're just guys in navy blue shirts and pants with piping.
Guest 1:That's all they are.
Guest 1:And it was like, oh, wait a minute.
Guest 1:This is a horrible trick to play on somebody.
Marc:Yeah, I wish they were really beating the shit out of that guy.
Marc:That would give this show so much more integrity.
Guest 1:Yeah, instead it's just like it's a less interesting version of pro wrestling.
Guest 1:That's right.
Guest 1:It's all pro wrestling reenactments.
Marc:So in The Daily Show, what are you doing, weekly or twice a month or how often are you on?
Guest 1:It always, it varies.
Guest 1:I mean, I'm there every day.
Guest 1:Because I'm on the writing staff as well.
Guest 1:So you write jokes?
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:So I'm writing, whether it's for myself or stuff for other correspondents or for John, like the headlines.
Guest 1:I'm in all that stuff.
Guest 1:Is that the way they did it traditionally?
Marc:I mean, was the correspondents separate or are all you guys there all the time?
Guest 1:John Oliver and I are the only two correspondents on the writing staff.
Guest 1:So we're there.
Guest 1:If we're not doing something for the show, we're there in the writer's room every day.
Guest 1:The other correspondents are focused, are there every day, but they tend to be focused more on field department stuff, which like the field department is like whenever we go and interview some guy in Kansas who, you know, likes to have sex with a cow.
Marc:Yeah, and you can figure out a way to make fun of them in an intelligent way where they don't know that they're being made fun of.
Yeah.
Guest 1:Well, no, I was saying that we go there to support him because the city council doesn't understand what true love is.
Guest 1:That's right.
Marc:Now, let's break it down for some of the people that are listening because a lot of comedy fans listen to the podcast.
Marc:What is the process over there on a day-to-day basis?
Guest 1:Our day starts off around 9, 9.30.
Guest 1:We start the day and then we usually come in and we start off by looking at footage from sort of the last afternoon.
Guest 1:Right.
Guest 1:Morning.
Marc:So you have interns that are there all night recording things on television, pieces of Glenn Beck, pieces of Fox News, news stories.
Guest 1:We have about like I would say maybe 20 Tebow's going all the time.
Guest 1:Right.
Guest 1:And then we have our segment presentation.
Marc:producers so it's like that scene in like uh the man who fell to earth there's just a room with like 50 different tv screens where you monitor the planet pretty much yes but the planet being the 24-hour news networks which if that's the planet to live on that's a horrible planet yeah so many people live on that planet and they react to it as if it's reality and if it weren't for what you guys are doing over there at that daily show no one would know the truth uh us and jeff dunham okay
Marc:Jeff Dunham.
Guest 1:That's where my truth comes from.
Guest 1:It comes from a puppet named Peanut.
Guest 1:It's Jeff Dunham's world.
Guest 1:We are all just puppets living in it.
Guest 1:We are.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:I feel like if that's not a t-shirt he has made, he needs to make that.
Marc:It's amazing to me that given Comedy Central and the popularity of the Daily Show and the integrity of it and its place in culture, that when Jeff Dunham shows up and just kicks everyone's ass on ratings-wise, you're like, where are these people hiding?
Marc:Right.
Marc:They're not hiding.
Marc:They're all around us.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Puppet lovers.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:No, there's a huge, like, there's a huge, just, you think it's a subculture, but you realize, no, everybody's like this.
Guest 1:It's the same thing with people who have, like, weird, crazy sex fetishes or something like that, where it's like, oh, that you hear about some guy who, like...
Guest 1:fucks high heel shoes and you're like how many there can there be yeah but then like that only validates the other million that are out there that have been doing it in secret and now feel like hey yeah we can all do it so you're pitching a show about a guy who fucks high heel shoes and also has puppets also has puppets and is a part-time detective wouldn't it be awesome if jeff dunham fucked high heel shoes i'm not saying he does but i'm saying that there might be a crossover in that marketing
Guest 1:What you've just done there is start a news cycle.
Guest 1:I did?
Guest 1:Yeah, you just openly speculated on something.
Guest 1:You've put it out there.
Guest 1:I'm not saying that he does do it, but wouldn't it be interesting?
Guest 1:Wouldn't it be interesting?
Guest 1:Look at the numbers.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:That's all I'm saying.
Marc:There's no doubt that some Jeff Dunham fans enjoy fucking high heel shoes.
Marc:So why not speculate?
Guest 1:Exactly.
Guest 1:And now...
Guest 1:What we need is we need a blog to then pick this story up.
Guest 1:Right.
Guest 1:They run with it for a little while.
Guest 1:Then the news media will hopefully pick it up and do some investigative research.
Guest 1:And next thing you know, Jeff Dunham has to go on a show like Oprah or something.
Guest 1:And apologize.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:And he never did anything wrong.
Guest 1:He was just happily eating his breakfast or doing whatever he's doing.
Guest 1:Thinking of new things for Peanut to say.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:Shining his puppets.
Guest 1:Whatever he does.
Guest 1:He was doing that.
Yeah.
Guest 1:Not hurting anyone and being a totally like I'm sure he was being a totally decent man at this hour.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:But what we've just done is create a new cycle that he is going to have to apologize for something he never did.
Marc:And the great thing about it is, even if it's not true, everyone will think it is.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:No matter how many times Jeff Dunham says, I don't fuck high heel shoes.
Marc:I just fuck puppets.
Marc:No matter how many times he says that.
Yeah.
Marc:People are going to say, that's the shoe fucker.
Marc:Yeah, exactly.
Marc:But I'll tell you what, that peanut's funny.
Marc:That's what they'll say.
Marc:He's a shoe fucker, but that old man puppet, I love that.
Marc:And the jalapeno puppet, I love that.
Marc:And the slightly racist terrorist skeleton puppet, awesome.
Marc:Who cares if he fucks shoes?
Marc:I'm willing to let him off the hook.
Marc:You know why?
Marc:Because my kids like them.
Guest 1:I don't know.
Guest 1:I think we just made a weird metaphor of the life of Michael Jackson.
Guest 1:Awesome.
Marc:As long as we're doing something original and interesting.
Marc:So you guys get in at 9.30.
Guest 1:You know, normally the day starts off, everybody's usually feeling really good, actually, at the start of the day.
Guest 1:But then as we sit there and wade through the footage, that's when you see people's
Guest 1:People's just shoulders start to droop a little more.
Guest 1:Their eyes look more tired.
Guest 1:In the hour that we do sort of going through everything, you can watch people age like 10 years.
Guest 1:So that's the look and feel of people generating comedy.
Guest 1:Yes.
Guest 1:People hunched over their desk.
Guest 1:Well, because the footage, sometimes you see you're going through all this footage and it can be so...
Guest 1:Just insane to watch it all boiled down in this way of like you're kind of looking at all these things and how these stories are being sort of created and built and just some of the things that are being said on air.
Guest 1:And it's just like, wow, like this is like this is insane.
Guest 1:Like what specifically?
Guest 1:There's all kinds of stuff.
Guest 1:We saw something on Friday.
Guest 1:There was on Fox and Friends, one of the anchors, Brian Kilmeade.
Guest 1:Oh, yeah.
Guest 1:Yeah, very, very lovely man, I'm sure.
Marc:Terrific broadcaster.
Guest 1:Yes, wonderful broadcaster.
Guest 1:Such a wonderful broadcaster that on air, he suggested that it's time that maybe the U.S.
Guest 1:military starts screening Muslim soldiers and
Guest 1:to, I guess, make sure they love America enough for Brian Kilmeade.
Marc:Yeah, to not have a psychological disability that they snap under the pressure and do something completely erratic and horrible that has nothing to do with their religion per se.
Guest 1:Right, and that's the thing that it seems like completely he glosses over that fact and he talks about who he wants to be in a foxhole with, which if he wants to be in a foxhole, A, he should first probably join the military, and then B, then maybe he can get picky about who and who should not be in said foxhole with him.
Guest 1:But what was so weird about that is you're watching that and you're realizing –
Guest 1:That's a guy who is seen by audiences as a news person, as someone who is bringing them facts.
Guest 1:And he puts out an opinion like that that is not fact at all, but just an opinion.
Guest 1:And it's a very weird thing where you watch it and you're like, he's the guy who calls into a radio show and says like, oh, you need to trade Eli.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:And he says something crazy, but the difference is on a radio show when some crazy person calls in, you're like, all right, you're acting crazy.
Guest 1:I'm going to hang up on you.
Guest 1:Bye-bye.
Guest 1:They can't hang up on a guy like that.
Guest 1:He's on the air all the time.
Marc:And he's sitting in the big chair, so people listen to it, and it starts a cultural conversation based in fear, and it's divisive in its nature, and it has nothing to do with facts or truth.
Guest 1:Yeah, and it completely validates the crazy phone-in guy.
Guest 1:To me, that's the thing.
Guest 1:It's the opinion of the crazy phone-in guy, but he's been given a paycheck and a daily gig on TV.
Guest 1:But it's a weird I mean, it's such a weird thing, though, because I feel like you've got it on both sides.
Marc:It is on both sides.
Marc:There are people that are dictating the sort of ideological goals of both sides that are exploiting the fears of people on both sides to to keep these lines drawn and to sort of avoid the truth.
Marc:I mean, there are some people that even if the truth is sitting in front of them, they're like, that's just writing.
Marc:Yeah, it's a picture.
Marc:It doesn't mean anything.
Guest 1:Well, it's one thing if it's the crazy call in person.
Guest 1:It's another thing when that person then has a platform every day to spout that opinion on.
Guest 1:And, like, that's where it gets so frustrating watching the sort of shit show go on that, like, you can watch, you know, Hannity or Countdown and you can watch, like, Olbermann and Hannity –
Guest 1:Talk about each other or each other's networks and talk about how horrible the other side is.
Guest 1:Yet then they can take photos of each other at a Yankees game like it's no big deal.
Marc:Yeah, like it's like you said before, it really is all professional wrestling.
Marc:It's all professional wrestling.
Marc:And the sad thing is, is that we're living in a time where people are really struggling for a lot of different reasons.
Marc:And they don't have a lot of faith in their governmental structure.
Marc:They don't have faith in the ability for the economy to work out or find a job.
Marc:And they don't really know what to do with those frustrations.
Marc:So when you've got these ideologues or these pundits or these guys who should be crazy guy on the phone who are...
Marc:We're driving media culture, leading them in a direction.
Marc:They just want some sort of temporary relief or some sort of satisfaction.
Marc:And they're so easily misguided in times that are desperate.
Marc:And that's the real shame of the whole thing, because like you said, these guys are going to Yankee games together, having steaks and beers and laughing about the different sides are on.
Marc:But we're in the same business.
Marc:Whereas a great many people in this country are just hungry for some resolution and some truth and some, you know, something that will bring them together that isn't based in that kind of choosing sides.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:Well, in some ways, maybe we do need – maybe we need pro wrestling to step up because I think –
Guest 1:Maybe that's the problem.
Guest 1:You think about it.
Guest 1:In the 80s when you had the Iron Sheik and people could then, they had a person that they could put all their frustrations on the Iron Sheik.
Guest 1:And they're like, oh, Hulk Hogan, he stands for America.
Guest 1:He and Hacksaw Jim Duggan are going to beat the crap out of the Iron Sheik.
Guest 1:And all the weird feelings I have about anyone from the Middle East who vaguely resembles this guy.
Guest 1:It's all in that.
Guest 1:They can get it out in that fantasy.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:Yeah, instead of, oh, you know what, I'm going to take a trip to Scarborough country and just live on hate.
Guest 1:I hate sandwich.
Guest 1:It tastes so good.
Guest 1:No, pro wrestling needs to do a better job of stepping up and creating more horribly stereotypical...
Marc:characters that people can then sort of drive that hate and and dislike into and then it's not like it's not like oh i hate muslims it's no i hate the iron sheik i don't have a problem with muslims i have a problem with that guy who i think you're right i think that we've come down we've rendered it down to a problem with professional wrestling yeah but you know sadly there's always going to be the crazy caller type of person that will still not be able to quite deal with the fact that the iron sheik and hulk hogan will have lunch together
Guest 1:Right.
Guest 1:No.
Guest 1:Well, and that's where we also need to do a better job with our pro wrestlers where when the cameras are off, they still can't interact.
Guest 1:No interacting at all.
Guest 1:That's the problem to me is that we see them in airports together.
Guest 1:We see the Iron Sheiks and the Hulk Hogans.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:Eating at your fancy no booze or whatever other restaurants they're going to and ordering an 18 egg omelet.
Guest 1:Like we see that.
Guest 1:We don't need to see that.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So that's an issue with entertainment television.
Marc:So entertainment television has to, you know, toe the line as well and not try to find these things out.
Guest 1:Well, and I think that's the problem with some of the ideologues is that they are entertainment television and they don't do enough to put the message out there that they're entertainment.
Guest 1:Like Hannity Olbermann, when you see that it's just a game to them, like...
Guest 1:with the with the amount of anger and hatred that they seem to have for each other it was very weird to see like you know on I think it was like Olbermann had it on his blog the photo of Hannity taking a photo of him and like wrote something of like see it just shows why while we may be on different party lines baseball is the thing that brings people together and it was like such a weird thing because it's like
Guest 1:But you're both like the way you guys talk about each other, I expect that you guys would have just picked up bats and just started like going at each other.
Guest 1:Own it.
Marc:Stay in it.
Marc:Stay in character.
Marc:Maybe we had Oberman and Hannity dress as professional wrestlers.
Marc:Maybe they have to choose a professional wrestler costume.
Guest 1:See, I would actually like that much better if they took the suits off and just wore the jumper thing, the red, white, and blue jumpers, and it's like, prove your patriotism through steel chairs.
Marc:I think they should have to wrestle once a week.
Marc:Or else just, like, now you've got me going.
Marc:Like, I think at the end of the year, to get sort of pundit turnover, there should actually be a cage match to the death.
Marc:I like that.
Marc:With all of them.
Guest 1:Yeah, just let them go in, and, you know, they each can pick a weapon of their choice.
Guest 1:You just see a wheezing, sort of sweaty Rush Limbaugh about to be beheaded by Keith Olbermann.
Guest 1:That'd be awesome.
Guest 1:And then, like, Beck kind of crying but, like, enjoying it at the same time.
Guest 1:Like, I feel like there's probably a lot of – there's, you know, he's, like, weeping.
Guest 1:And you're like, oh, no, I'm not going to hit him because he's crying.
Guest 1:And then he's like, ha-ha, I got you.
Guest 1:And he, like, punches you in the balls.
Guest 1:And you're like, oh, that was low blow.
Guest 1:Like, that's against the rules.
Guest 1:And then, yeah, you've got, like, Ed Schultz and people are like, wait, who are you?
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:But everybody's sort of kicking the crap out of him, and he's like, wait, no, no, wait, Olbermann, why are you beating me up?
Guest 1:I'm on your side.
Guest 1:Are you really?
Guest 1:I don't know who you are, guy.
Guest 1:I'm just beating the crap out of you.
Marc:You know what would be awesome?
Marc:Just to see a sort of beaten and bloody Glenn Beck wearing a giant diaper in the middle of the room, and Rachel Maddow with a dagger just plunge it into his heart and pull out his heart while it's still beating and eat it.
Guest 1:See, now that's gone beyond wrestling.
Guest 1:You've taken it into some weird fantasy of yours.
Guest 1:Aztec land.
Guest 1:Yeah, it really has sort of become an Aztec.
Guest 1:What was the game?
Guest 1:There was that game they played where it was the precursor to soccer where you played it with somebody's head.
Marc:Kick the head around.
Marc:I think if you translate it from the original Aztec, it was called kick the head around.
Guest 1:We're going out to play a little old kick the head around.
Guest 1:Kick the head around a little bit.
Guest 1:I feel like that's the one horrible thing about that is like, oh, hey, we're going to all go play a little kick the head around.
Guest 1:You want to join?
Guest 1:Oh, yeah, I'd love to come play with you.
Guest 1:And then you get outside and they realize yours is the head they're going to kick around.
Marc:This old head is all beat up.
Marc:We need a new head.
Marc:Hey, new guy.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:No, I wanted to play!
Marc:You are playing.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:All right.
Marc:I think we solved it.
Marc:Yes, I think we did.
Guest 1:White Sinek, congratulations again, and thank you for hanging out.
Guest 1:Thank you.
Guest 1:I'm actually going to call security now and get you thrown out.
Guest 2:Hello.
Marc:Hey, Dad, it's Mark.
Guest 2:How you doing, Mark?
Marc:I'm good.
Marc:Are you at home?
Guest 2:I'm sitting at the office being patient, but that's okay.
Guest 2:But let me just finish up with this lady and call the landline back and we can do that, okay?
Marc:How long are we talking?
Marc:Because I've been through this with you when I was a child where you said, I'm just going to finish up with this patient.
Marc:I didn't see you for three days.
Guest 2:No, I'm right on the final stage here.
Guest 2:Not a problem.
Guest 2:Call me back in about five minutes.
Marc:Let me just understand.
Marc:You're finishing up with a patient now.
Marc:I'm going to call you, and you're going to make someone else wait.
Guest 2:Right.
Marc:Okay.
All right.
Marc:I'll call you back.
Marc:Bye.
Marc:Bye.
Marc:I can't tell you, like, you know what I learned from growing up with a doctor?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:is when you're waiting to see a doctor and they say he'll be right with you, he might be across town eating lunch.
Marc:I know that to be true.
Marc:Just know that.
Marc:When they say, yeah, your doctor will see you in a minute, that means that the answering service is calling him and he's like, oh, really?
Marc:I just started building a tool shed out back.
Marc:I'll be in a little bit.
Marc:Just tell him to wait.
Marc:I'll be right there.
Marc:That's what's happening.
Marc:Like right now, someone's going to tell a patient that Dr. Marin will be with you in a minute.
Marc:And they're thinking like he's doing doctor business.
Marc:Nope.
Marc:He's going to be talking to me about bullshit.
Marc:Yeah, I am calling for Dr. Marin.
Marc:It's Mark Marin.
Guest 2:Okay.
Guest 2:Let me put you on hold.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:How long is this going to take?
Marc:He's playing golf.
Marc:Hey, dad.
Guest 2:How you doing, man?
Guest 2:Did you shut that door?
Guest 2:Thanks.
Guest 2:Yep, I'm here, babe.
Marc:You good?
Guest 2:I'm good.
Marc:You feel good?
Guest 2:I feel great.
Marc:You feel strong?
Marc:You've got clarity?
Guest 2:I'm sorry?
Marc:You've got clarity?
Guest 2:I do.
Marc:You know, the reason we're talking is because I did get some emails saying that I gave you short shrift and that what you are talking about is really what has to happen in this country in terms of wellness and preventative model for approaching illness.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Now, okay, so let's just deal with me, okay?
Marc:So now, like, what am I going to need to start this?
Marc:Like, oatmeal, I eat oatmeal, that's good, right?
Guest 2:I'm a proponent of minimizing your carbohydrates, no matter what you're doing.
Marc:So oatmeal's out?
Guest 2:It's not out, but not too often.
Guest 2:Once a week is all right.
Marc:Pie?
Marc:No good.
Guest 2:Which one?
Marc:Pie.
Guest 2:I don't know what that one is.
Marc:Pie, like cherry pie.
Guest 2:Oh, pie, pie.
Guest 2:No, pie is no good because you've got the carbs and you've got the sweet carbs.
Marc:But don't you need a little of that?
Guest 2:No, you really don't.
Guest 2:Your body will take what it needs, provided you provide it with the source of vegetarian type of carbohydrates.
Marc:How about a vegetarian cookie?
Guest 2:I don't know of any vegetarian cookies, but yeah, that's fine.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Because you don't want, I mean, we have to have some joy in our day.
Guest 2:Well, that's right.
Guest 2:But that's the priority.
Guest 2:Either one is self-serving.
Guest 2:Gratification is a primo, like my extended family is.
Guest 2:And they tell me, well, if they can't eat this stuff, they don't want to live.
Guest 2:Well, fine.
Guest 2:Here's your shovel.
Guest 2:Dig a hole.
Guest 2:But if you want to set your priorities on wellness, on being the best you can be, then something's got to give.
Guest 2:What has to give is the priority upon self-gratification and flavors that just, I remember it, I got to have it.
Guest 2:That's fine.
Guest 2:Most people will die prematurely with that attitude.
Marc:So you're basically saying, happy birthday, don't eat the cake or you'll die?
Guest 2:Well, that's true.
Guest 2:I think the best birthday cake is probably a bunch of chopped veggies set up in the numerical value of the date of birth.
Guest 2:I think that's fine.
Guest 2:Chew on your celery, your carrots, and let everyone else eat the sweets.
Guest 2:because you don't need them.
Marc:Have you ever seen a crying child?
Marc:You're going to have to keep that kid from going to anyone else's house.
Marc:It seems like part of your wellness program will be homeschooling because this is going to be a hard thing to sell to kids.
Guest 2:Yeah, I know.
Guest 2:That's true.
Guest 2:But I think if you educate the kid right, just like Dennis' kids don't eat candy, they don't eat sugars, they preserve their teeth.
Guest 2:Who's kids?
Guest 2:From the first part of their learning experiences in their...
Guest 2:In their dad's or mom's household.
Marc:Whose kids?
Guest 2:Dentists.
Marc:Oh, dentists.
Marc:Right, right.
Marc:Right.
Marc:I mean, okay, I understand what you're saying.
Marc:So, okay, so no carbohydrates, a lot of vegetables.
Guest 2:Correct.
Marc:And in terms of lifestyle choices, you know, tell me a little bit about, let's get into it a little bit about this flu vaccine, because I got some email in defense of you, and then I got defensive, and I told them, like, you know, shut up, he's my dad, you know, we've got a relationship, how dare you insinuate that I was... And then I was like, well, maybe he's right.
Marc:So...
Marc:Tell me a little bit about your, you know, now once we did a little research on the squalene and you said that, you know, for some people this vaccine is good, but ultimately you see the pharmaceutical companies as being the culprit in manufacturing this threat.
Guest 2:Correct.
Guest 2:And I just heard a good program on it this morning.
Guest 2:I had a discussion about it just coincidentally.
Guest 2:And squalene is out there.
Guest 2:Whoever might have mentioned to you that squalene is not in the H1N1 vaccine, it's not true.
Guest 2:As soon as the president said it's an emergency, the companies did what they wanted to do, and squalene accelerates the production of antibodies so they can make more vaccines if they throw squalene in there.
Guest 2:Squalene also, then, makes antibodies against your own tissue, so your autoimmune responses go tremendously high, and who will get the autoimmune disease is an unknown.
Guest 2:It's based on probably...
Guest 2:and susceptibility, which nobody knows about.
Marc:So you're saying though, but on some level, despite that, you know, people who are extremely vulnerable, are you saying that some people could need this vaccine or no?
Guest 2:I'm saying they do not.
Marc:Okay.
Guest 2:I'm saying that this vaccine to me is off limits.
Guest 2:You know, even regardless of the decrepit nature of a patient or all the difficulties he's having with other health issues, my opinion would be he doesn't need the vaccine.
Guest 2:And I would discuss it with whoever else was treating the person to see what the consensus of opinion is so we'd have input.
Guest 2:But to me, you don't need the vaccine.
Marc:All right, now let's talk specifically about supplements.
Marc:Now, you know, we talked a little bit about this, and this is a wellness thing that we're trying to do here.
Marc:You think, you know, supplements are good.
Marc:I'm taking a lot of supplements.
Guest 2:Yeah, I think they're great.
Marc:And exercise, right?
Marc:Exercise.
Guest 2:Supplements and exercise, correct.
Marc:Okay, what else should I be doing?
Guest 2:I believe that when I promote something, it's a change of life recommendation.
Guest 2:That's just a diet, which, well, that's going to end.
Guest 2:I can't wait to get off this diet.
Guest 2:I've lost my 20 pounds.
Guest 2:I want to get off that.
Guest 2:No, I want a wellness way of life that is ongoing for somebody.
Marc:What about all the stress that comes from people that are fat and unhealthy fighting the urge to eat something that makes them fat and unhealthy?
Marc:I mean, that's a tremendous amount of stress and struggle.
Guest 2:Yeah, but you've got to individualize, and that's a generalization that's really hardly true.
Guest 2:I mean, I enjoyed my foods lots until maybe a year or so ago.
Guest 2:Now if I eat 1,000 calories a day, I'm eating a lot, and I'm not even hungry because I take that whole list of stuff that I've sent you.
Guest 2:And that's what my wife and I do.
Guest 2:My Rosie and I just take that stuff, and that is our food primarily, and we splurge a little bit around it to go out and eat or to cook something at home.
Guest 2:But if I get all that stuff in by, let's say, by noon, or at least by 3 o'clock, or I want to divide it up as Rosie does, that's fine.
Guest 2:But I think that's your basic.
Marc:uh nourishment is from that handful of supplements well then i gotta ask you a question go let's be candid here i was just at your house and in quite honestly you know i i've never seen more candy around in my life i mean i'm like there were candy bars there was candy everywhere there like it's almost like i thought it was some sort of joke
Marc:I mean, I understand it was Halloween, but I've been there before, and there's candy everywhere.
Guest 2:My Rosie puts candy out everywhere.
Guest 2:I don't eat it.
Guest 2:She eats it occasionally.
Guest 2:She grew up with very little sweets available to her in her life.
Guest 2:And if I open a drawer and I wasn't sure what's in it, it's going to be filled with candy one of these days.
Guest 2:And I don't know how much she's eating on her own, but she looks good, she feels good, and the laboratory data is good.
Marc:Okay, so this isn't about her eating candy.
Marc:It's just a matter of stockpiling it because she can.
Guest 2:Correct.
Marc:Okay, so you're stockpiling candy.
Guest 2:Yeah.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:I just want to make sure I'm clear on what's happening.
Guest 2:If she sees a candy bargain, she buys it.
Guest 2:I don't see her eating it, but she buys it.
Marc:But this would not be suggested for people that perhaps like to eat candy.
Marc:This is just something that she does as a hobby, so to speak.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Well, I think this is a good segment, and I think that we've learned a lot.
Marc:And I'll try not to feel guilty about the cream cheese and the rye bread.
Marc:Because I think also that stuff leads to, with me, like if I eat ice cream on one day, it's going to start a slippery slope.
Marc:Right.
Marc:That's just because your body starts to crave sugar, right?
Guest 2:That's correct.
Marc:Same with bread, right?
Guest 2:If you keep walking away from it, you say, thank you for making it, I'll taste it.
Guest 2:People stop offering it to you and the temptation isn't there.
Guest 2:If you're just sitting around with nothing else to do but dig your hand into carbohydrates while you're watching TV, that's a mistake.
Marc:I don't have to thank the people at the grocery store for making it, though, right?
Marc:I mean, that's not something I have to say.
Guest 2:That's only if a relative or friend brings you over a cake and says, oh, I made your favorite cake or here's your favorite mashed potatoes.
Guest 2:I'll taste them, and I just don't eat them.
Marc:But you thank them for making it, but I don't have to do that, say, at Ben and Jerry's place.
Guest 2:No, you don't have to do that.
Marc:All right.
Marc:I just want to make sure I get it right.
Marc:All right, Dad, I love you.
Marc:Go see that patient you're waiting for.
Guest 2:Okay.
Guest 2:Take care.
Marc:Bye.
Bye.
Marc:That's our show, folks.
Marc:I hope you enjoyed that.
Marc:That turned out to be a very interesting and fun interview we had with Wyatt Sinek.
Marc:You can see him on The Daily Show.
Marc:I want to thank my dad, and the new wellness approach I think is going to work out for us.
Marc:I think that is a place where he can be helpful, and also I can get to know my father a little better and respect him for a whole new series of ideas and things.
Marc:As always, please go to punchlinemagazine.com if you're interested in anything that has to do with anything funny.
Marc:Comedy-related.
Marc:They have the Type 5 video segments and breaking comedy news and upcoming events in the world of comedy.
Marc:Please go to wtfpod.com as well for your links to justcoffee.coop, for your link to audible.com for your free audiobook download.
Marc:and for your links that all things What the Fuck podcast related there is.
Marc:Wow, that didn't come out well.
Marc:But you know what I'm saying, right?
Marc:You know what I'm saying?
Marc:Am I right?
Marc:You know what I'm saying, right?
Marc:All right, talk to you soon.