Episode 220 - Hannibal Buress
Guest:are we doing this really wait for it are we doing this wait for it pow what the fuck and it's also eh what the fuck what's wrong with me it's time for wtf what the fuck with mark maron
Marc:Alright, let's do this.
Marc:How are you, what-the-fuckers?
Marc:What-the-fuck buddies?
Marc:What-the-fucking-ears?
Marc:What-the-fuck-sikins?
Marc:What-the-fuck-a-mollins?
Marc:What-the-fuck-a-reakins?
Marc:What-the-fucking-ucks?
Marc:What-the-fuck-you-pie-wall-streeters?
Marc:Ah, that was a good one.
Marc:Someone sent me that one.
Marc:That was a good one.
Marc:I am Marc Maron.
Marc:This is WTF.
Marc:I'm doing okay.
Marc:I'm having some sort of sugar coma or something.
Marc:Something is happening.
Marc:Let's do some stuff first.
Marc:I am going to be at the Punchline in San Francisco, November 2nd through 5th.
Marc:I am going to be at the Neptune Theater on November 25th in Seattle, Washington.
Marc:Looking forward to that show.
Marc:They just started selling tickets to my show at the Wilbur Theater in Boston.
Marc:That's on January 7th.
Marc:I don't have it in front of me.
Marc:God damn it.
Marc:Wilbur Theater, Boston in January.
Marc:I'll get more specific on that one as time goes on.
Marc:I don't want to plug the shit out of everything way in advance.
Marc:But Hannibal Buress is on the show this evening.
Marc:This evening, it's nighttime for me, but it might not be nighttime for you.
Marc:It's probably Thursday morning for you.
Marc:If it is Thursday morning for you, I might want to tell you this.
Marc:I did a little research.
Marc:Hannibal Buress.
Marc:Buress.
Marc:Hannibal Buress.
Marc:Sounds the same either way is performing at the Atlanta punchline at Atlanta, Georgia tomorrow.
Marc:That would be the 21st and 22nd.
Marc:I just I'm doing a little community outreach for my buddy Hannibal.
Marc:So he'll be there.
Marc:I'm going to be talking to him in just a second.
Marc:Let's do some business.
Marc:Got a big cup of WTF blend.
Marc:Just coffee dot co-op right here in front of me.
Marc:Pow.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:Yep.
Marc:It happened.
Marc:A lot of people ask me if I'm really drinking just coffee.
Marc:I'm drinking just coffee.
Marc:I drink way too much just coffee.
Marc:I think it might have something to do with what's going on in my body.
Marc:So anyways, I go to the doctor.
Marc:I know some of you are hanging on hand and nail or tooth and face or whatever the fuck the saying is.
Marc:Here, you know what this is, though?
Marc:Let me explain to you what happened today.
Marc:I I'm on this slow carb thing because I got a little heavy.
Marc:I know a lot of you think like you're not heavy.
Marc:Shut the fuck up.
Marc:But look, you know, if I get 10 pounds higher than what I want to be, then I'm heavy.
Marc:All right.
Marc:I like to be under 180.
Marc:Do you have a problem with that?
Marc:My my my weight that I'm supposed to be at for my age or for or for my height is is 175.
Marc:But I know in my heart that my head is too big to be 175.
Marc:I'm slightly deformed in that I have a slightly large head that if I lose too much weight, I look like a fucking bobblehead doll.
Marc:A Marc Maron bobblehead.
Marc:That's what I look like.
Marc:So I don't get that thin, but I was up close to 190, wanted to get below 180.
Marc:Just below 180.
Marc:That's all I want.
Marc:So I got on that slow carb thing, which means you eat the slow carb diet, the four hour body or whatever the hell it's called.
Marc:I'm not reading the book.
Marc:The book seems crazy to me.
Marc:I just looked at what you can and can't eat and I just do it.
Marc:But you get a cheat day.
Marc:Now, this is the kind of drug addict I am.
Marc:My girlfriend, Jessica, went ahead and for my birthday bought me a fucking ice cream maker.
Marc:Now, for me, the best thing I can hope, if some of you know my material, I really can't handle having one of those in the house.
Marc:The best thing that can happen to that ice cream maker is that eventually it just ends up in the closet and six months go by and we go, oh, fuck, we're going to.
Marc:Well, you want to do it or I don't even know where the instructions are.
Marc:That's the best thing that can happen to an ice cream maker.
Marc:But it's just a couple of weeks since my birthday.
Marc:So I got that thing out.
Marc:I made peanut butter cup ice cream.
Marc:I made vanilla ice cream with egg yolks, real vanilla peanut butter cup ice cream and peanut butter.
Marc:So I'm on this fucking diet.
Marc:I can't eat it.
Marc:I only get one cheat day.
Marc:Today was the fucking cheat day.
Marc:This was it.
Marc:So I got a tub of the vanilla I made and a tub of the peanut butter cup ice cream I made in there.
Marc:And today I got up.
Marc:I went and met my friend Steve for coffee.
Marc:We talked about, you know, the big stuff, the big work.
Marc:We did our weekly conversation.
Marc:Then I got home.
Marc:And I had a muffin at the coffee shop, slammed a muffin into my face because on this diet, you can't eat nothing white, no, no flour, no dairy, no sugar, no, a lot of stuff you can't eat, but you can shove a lot of meat and beans and vegetables into your face.
Marc:But all I've been thinking about is this goddamn tub of ice cream.
Marc:So then I go to In-N-Out Burger by myself because I figure if it's a cheat day, let's fucking go to town.
Marc:I go to In-N-Out Burger.
Marc:I get myself a double-double and I bring the rapper home.
Marc:You know why I bring the rapper home?
Marc:Because there's biblical verses on the rappers of In-N-Out Burgers.
Marc:I know that some of you know this.
Marc:They don't write the whole verse.
Marc:They just give you the number.
Marc:So on my rapper...
Marc:It says Nahum, I don't even know that book, but I'm not a biblical guy, Nahum17.
Marc:So, of course, not being a biblical guy, but nonetheless looking for something to do to avoid writing, I say bring that wrapper home and let's look up Nahum17.
Marc:But this wrapper is like, it's a double-double burger, in-and-out burger, quality you can taste on the back, in-and-out, has wrapped its products in paper since 1948.
Marc:The first In-N-Out opened in 1948.
Marc:All our burgers are made with fresh beef that's never frozen.
Marc:Our buns are made without preservatives, the old-fashioned way from real sponge dough.
Marc:We hand-leaf our lettuce every day.
Marc:Our fries are peeled and diced daily from fresh Kinebec potatoes.
Marc:We've cooked our fries in 100% cholesterol-free oil since 1948.
Marc:In-N-Out Burger.
Marc:And then just right there in the little corner of the wrapper, Nahum17.
Marc:Nahum17.
Marc:So I go home and I'm like, what the fuck is Nahum17?
Marc:Why don't they just write it on?
Marc:Because that would be a little, I don't know, maybe intrusive.
Marc:Maybe they made a decision.
Marc:I think it's something to do with the owner wanting to have, he's a biblical guy.
Marc:Something.
Marc:I'm not exactly sure what.
Marc:So I go home and I look up Nahum 1-7.
Marc:The Lord... This is from the King James Version.
Marc:The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and he knoweth them that trust in him.
Marc:And I'm glad that wasn't on my burger wrapper because I don't know if I would have been able to really handle the burger.
Marc:Because if you're sitting there thinking about that...
Marc:How are you going to enjoy the burger?
Marc:I mean, In-N-Out Burger, the burger is God.
Marc:You're there for the burger.
Marc:The burger's there to answer your questions.
Marc:The burger is there to fill your hole.
Marc:The chocolate shake is there to fill your hole.
Marc:The all-you-can-get ketchup that you can get yourself and dip those fucking fresh Kinebec potatoes in and shove them into your pie hole and then try to suck on that chocolate shake that always takes about 15 minutes to get soft enough to drink.
Marc:That's the God of In-N-Out Burger.
Marc:That's why you're there to fill a hole.
Marc:so now i got to come home and get a spiritual lesson the lord is good a stronghold in the day of trouble and he knoweth them that trust in him what do i need that for now now i already filled my hole my god hole was filled with in and out burger chocolate shake and french fries in a tub of fucking peanut butter cup ice cream that i made this is useless to me now
Marc:Useless to me.
Marc:Had it been on there in its entirety when I was eating the burger, perhaps I would have checked myself.
Marc:Perhaps I would have held up the hamburger and I would have held up the wrapper.
Marc:And on the wrapper, it said, the Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble.
Marc:And he knoweth then the trust in him.
Marc:Holding that on my wrapper and holding the burger in one hand saying, I have a false idol.
Marc:I have a false idol.
Marc:There's nothing I can do now other than to shove this false idol into my mouth.
Marc:And then throw the wrapper away.
Marc:So I got a little Bible lesson.
Marc:And I was happy with the course of my worship today.
Marc:I was happy to pray at the shrine of In-N-Out Burger.
Marc:So onward to the doctor.
Marc:I told you I was going.
Marc:I told you there was an omen at hand.
Marc:I told you about the black cat outside with the fucked up face and the cock eyes that I'd never seen, that I saw as a hell cat, as a messenger of some sort of coded cryptic omen, something I didn't understand.
Marc:Why had this cat come into my life and rippled my reality grid?
Marc:Why had it done that?
Marc:I thought it was foreboding of my visit to the urologist.
Marc:As you know, as a Jew, as a Jewish man, when you visit a urologist, that's a rites of passage.
Marc:That's when you officially become an old Jewish man.
Marc:There's the bar mitzvah, and then there's the first urologist appointment.
Marc:That's the second part.
Marc:You get no money for that one.
Marc:You don't get any money to go to the urologist's office.
Marc:You go in hopes that...
Marc:that everything is going to be okay and that it doesn't hurt and that you detach enough not to be humiliated when you're being examined at a urologist.
Marc:Now, I got to be very honest with you about the conversation I had with you last time about organs, about kidneys, about my discomfort in talking about these things is because I don't think about dying.
Marc:I don't know that I accept the idea of death.
Marc:I don't know that I know that I'm old.
Marc:I'd like to think that I'm like, Hey man, you die and that's it.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:But then I got, I'm sitting here with a burger wrapper that I'm bringing home and I'm looking at biblical verses.
Marc:So, you know, something ain't right.
Marc:I mean, I'm sitting around looking at black cats thinking they're omens and I'm bringing home burger wrappers.
Marc:So there's something not grounded, not at ease in my soul.
Marc:So I got some problems.
Marc:I'm having some problems in my groinal region.
Marc:Nothing too bad.
Marc:Just some a little bit of pain in a certain area.
Marc:And I went to my regular doctor and she did the thing with the finger and said, I don't know, you might have some prostatitis happens.
Marc:Take these pills.
Marc:See what happens.
Marc:It should go away.
Marc:I'm like, all right.
Marc:It doesn't go away.
Marc:A couple weeks later, a month later, still feel a little not right down there.
Marc:All right, well, let's send you to the urologist.
Guest:The urologist.
Marc:Oh, man, who picks that specialty?
Marc:Why?
Why?
Marc:I guess it's a good racket.
Marc:Everybody's got one of them who's a man and some women, but they usually start men.
Marc:I don't know if they, the ones that they attach are officially, I don't know.
Marc:Look, I don't need to get into sexual politics.
Marc:I go to this urologist.
Marc:You never know what you're going to get.
Marc:This was the most efficient urology practice I'd ever seen.
Marc:I've been a lot of doctor's offices because my dad, uh, is a defrocked physician.
Marc:And, um,
Marc:So I grew up in hospitals.
Marc:But I'll tell you, when you go to a hospital, when you're sitting in that waiting room with other people and you see old men with their canes moving around, moving out, you see people waiting, it's like, oh my God, this is where we all end up.
Marc:If you're lucky, this is where you end up.
Marc:You go to doctors to make sure you stay okay.
Marc:That's like when you watch Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Marc:I never really thought about it before, but they're always going to doctors because that's what happens when you hit a certain age.
Marc:You've got to go find out whether or not you're okay.
Marc:Am I okay?
Marc:Am I okay?
Marc:This thing doesn't feel right.
Marc:Is it right?
Marc:Will you look at it?
Marc:Can you do the thing?
Marc:Am I all right?
Marc:So I got to go to the urologist, a nurse or one of the people.
Marc:I don't know what she is.
Marc:A woman who works there was wearing the proper outfit right on time.
Marc:Three o'clock, my appointment.
Marc:Bang.
Marc:Three o'clock.
Marc:Marin.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Here you go.
Marc:Here's a cup.
Marc:Here's the bathroom.
Marc:Pee in the cup.
Marc:Leave it there.
Marc:She picks it up, not even thinking twice.
Marc:Very confident, very efficient.
Marc:Date of birth, boom.
Marc:Labels the cup.
Marc:See you later, P. All right, go wait in the doctor's office.
Marc:Doctor comes in.
Marc:How are you?
Marc:What's going on?
Marc:Young guy, beard.
Marc:And these are those moments where I think about mortality because I think I'm sitting in a doctor's office.
Marc:I see his diplomas.
Marc:I see pictures of his children.
Marc:I see that he's a man that's probably 10 years younger than me.
Marc:And I'm thinking, what have I fucking done?
Marc:Where are my goddamn diplomas?
Marc:Where are my kids?
Marc:Jesus Christ, I'm just sitting here wondering if my cock is okay.
Marc:My balls are still working.
Marc:And that the thing inside of it that makes them both feel good and can generate one of those things in those pictures is functioning properly.
Marc:So he asked me what the symptoms are, and I'm in that weird place where I'm like, do I use my language?
Marc:And I say, yeah, well, you know, there's that area under my balls.
Marc:So I say that, and he doesn't flinch.
Marc:He knows I'm a comic, so I figure he's used to that.
Marc:But you're supposed to use clinical.
Marc:I mean, are you supposed to say penis and testicles?
Marc:I can't.
Marc:Who says testicles?
Marc:Anyways, whatever the case, here's what I learned.
Marc:I go in, I get the examination.
Marc:And I don't want to talk about this, but this just happened.
Marc:And this guy was so smooth, so quick.
Marc:I could not believe it.
Marc:They did an ultrasound.
Marc:I didn't know they did ultrasounds of prostates and bladders.
Marc:Did you know that?
Marc:Congratulations.
Marc:It's a tumor.
Marc:No, not didn't happen.
Marc:Looked at my bladder, said, did you did you go to the bathroom?
Marc:I did.
Marc:I said, he said, well, there's still some in there.
Marc:I'm like, OK, great.
Marc:That's good to know.
Marc:So we're going to need it in a minute.
Marc:Oh, something to look forward to.
Marc:But then comes the point where he's like, roll over.
Marc:It's going to be a little discomfort.
Marc:And you're laying there naked with the guy.
Marc:And, you know, it is what it is.
Marc:You know, I'm not uncomfortable naked, but it's just sort of weird where everything's clinical.
Marc:I'm like, yeah, kind of right here.
Marc:It hurts a little, but I think I'm OK.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:What do you think?
Marc:All right.
Marc:So he says, turn over and I'm going to do this.
Marc:And the glove goes on.
Marc:You know what's going to happen.
Marc:But I didn't even feel it, man.
Marc:Didn't even feel it going in until it was in.
Marc:And in that moment, I realized, holy shit.
Marc:If somebody wants to get something into your asshole, they're going to get it in there.
Marc:All right.
Marc:The asshole is not designed to stop things from coming in.
Marc:It's only designed to keep things from coming out unless you want them to come out.
Marc:That was very scary to me.
Marc:I don't know what you're going to do with that information, but I'm just telling you, if somebody wants to put something in your ass, there's very little you can do about it with your ass.
Marc:So just keep that in mind when you're traveling, whatever.
Marc:I don't know what the point of that was.
Marc:So he does this examination, which, you know, kind of...
Marc:depending on how you're feeling about it, it's not a bad feeling.
Marc:The prostate's fairly sensitive, but mine was a little tender.
Marc:But he said, look, I don't think there's anything there that I can diagnose.
Marc:This is just something that it might come and go.
Marc:You might have to live with.
Marc:And it was at that moment where I'm like, holy fuck, I've just graduated.
Marc:I'm an old guy.
Marc:You mean occasionally I'm going to have prostate discomfort?
Marc:Occasionally I'm going to be aware that I am the possessor of a prostate?
Marc:That's the future.
Marc:But it was a humbler.
Marc:It was just a humbler.
Marc:Because there's nothing you can do, man.
Marc:Shit is going to go bad inside you.
Marc:That's part of the game.
Marc:Accept it.
Marc:Humble yourself.
Marc:And if you're really feeling lost, you can always take home your In-N-Out Burger wrapper.
Marc:See what you get.
Marc:So now, you know, I've been thinking about kids.
Marc:I've been talking about kids.
Marc:And finally, somebody sent me a letter with some opinions about it.
Marc:You know, outside of like, don't do it.
Marc:You can't have one.
Marc:Don't do it.
Marc:It's a mistake.
Marc:Kids, subject line.
Marc:Hey Mark, I have a 20 month old kid and like you, I postponed having it for a long time.
Marc:I'm only 32, but my girlfriend had wanted it for years.
Marc:As hard as it can be sometimes, it's truly worth it.
Marc:The arguments you have with Jessica now will be 10 times worse because it will involve another person forming a two versus one scenario, usually against the father.
Marc:And because your sweet pattern is erratic.
Marc:Anyways, all that eventually settles and it becomes part of your day-to-day.
Marc:And honestly, you start to feel sorry for anybody who doesn't have a kid.
Marc:Even if you see George Clooney in a magazine, you'll look at him and think, poor George, he must be so miserable.
Marc:Even though you know he's probably having the time of his life.
Marc:It might all be some chemical trickery the brain conjures to convince you not to throw the baby into the river, but you really feel proud when you have a kid.
Marc:Think of the greatest joke you've ever written.
Marc:Now imagine that joke taking a life of its own and moving around and making you laugh.
Marc:That's life, man.
Marc:Your show is great, Alex.
Marc:P.S.
Marc:You don't look 47.
Marc:Yeah, Alex, tell that to my prostate.
Marc:Turn that air off.
Marc:We'll try to ride it out as long as we can.
Guest:I can do it, man.
Marc:Yeah?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Where were you brought up?
Guest:Chicago.
Marc:So you know heat in the summer.
Marc:Is it humid there?
Marc:I can't remember.
Guest:Yeah, it gets horrible in the summer.
Guest:In the summer, it's deathly horrible.
Guest:When people die, that happens.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:Where seven people died.
Guest:It got too hot.
Marc:Yeah, how'd he die?
Guest:It's hot.
Guest:It just got really hot and they... They die.
Marc:It's not funny.
Marc:These are usually older people.
Guest:That didn't leave or they just sat in the heat, thought that they could take it.
Marc:Yeah, I have been through in New York
Marc:horrendous humidity but here it's dry so it just sucks it out of you you don't you don't feel all wet and damp and like there's a weight in the air you just all of a sudden you're like i gotta lay down and die yeah like you know you're dying in chicago yeah you feel it or you just stay in until it's late yeah and then even late at night it'll be it'll be hot but it's just a slower kind of
Guest:It's just that humidity, though.
Marc:It's horrendous, man.
Marc:You can never escape it.
Marc:I'm so fucking happy to be away from there.
Marc:I forgot that Chicago had it.
Marc:I don't know why it has it.
Marc:Well, you got the lake.
Marc:I don't understand humidity.
Guest:I don't understand it either.
Marc:I don't think there's any reason for us to try to figure it out.
Marc:There are people that know how to do that.
Guest:Yeah, that's their thing, and we should focus our efforts into what we do well.
Marc:In the garage, Hannibal Buress came out of nowhere, actually.
Marc:We had it scheduled, but I apparently had my head in travel.
Marc:You know when you travel and you're just like, I just got to get home.
Marc:I don't fucking know what's going on there.
Marc:I have to get home.
Marc:And then it takes you a couple hours.
Marc:I'm happy to see you.
Marc:I mean, don't get the wrong idea.
Guest:I don't know, you just got back in today?
Guest:Literally two hours ago.
Marc:Oh wow.
Marc:From Canada.
Marc:Dang.
Marc:Yeah, so now you've been to Canada.
Guest:I've been to Canada a couple times.
Guest:To Montreal?
Guest:To Montreal, Toronto, and Vancouver recently.
Marc:Now that's a fun place.
Marc:It's a pretty place.
Guest:It's very nice.
Guest:I was there for game seven.
Marc:Oh, when shit got out of hand?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That was exciting.
Guest:Yeah, it was really weird.
Guest:I watched the game in a bar with a bunch of Canucks fans.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And at first I was neutral, but then after Boston scored the first goal, I just started chatting USA.
Guest:USA.
Guest:I just wanted to mess with people for some reason.
Guest:Yeah, and have that go over.
Guest:I mean, I wasn't being too horrible about it.
Guest:I was with a couple people that I knew then.
Guest:But wasn't that, I mean, who got, why were there riots?
Guest:I don't know, it's very silly to destroy your own city.
Guest:But it was because they lost to Boston.
Guest:It was because they lost the game to Boston.
Guest:But they threw over, like you flip in a car, it has British Columbia plates.
Marc:But I never understood that in riots in general of any kind.
Marc:People just destroying their own shit.
Guest:Yeah, win or lose, it is silly to destroy your own city.
Guest:You have to come walk past it.
Marc:I guess you just can't control your own excitement or your own contempt.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Something's gotta be thrown over.
Guest:SC is super, just go home and your life is still pretty much the same, whether they win or lose.
Guest:I mean, if they win, have fun, drink and yell, but you don't have to break anything.
Marc:Well, I mean, some people get very invested in it.
Marc:Like I was just up there and there's a type of loyalty to sports.
Marc:I'm not a sports guy.
Marc:I didn't grow up giving a shit.
Marc:I don't give a shit now, but some people hang their entire sense of self and belief system.
Marc:It's all about the sports and the stats and who wins.
Guest:I'm a huge sports guy.
Guest:You are?
Guest:But I catch myself.
Guest:I'm from Chicago, so big Bulls fan, and the Bulls got kicked out.
Guest:And again, they were playing the Heat.
Guest:They lost in game five, which was a game they should have won.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And for a few minutes, I was bummed out about it.
Guest:Then I realized, oh, wait, my life is still the same.
Guest:It doesn't matter.
Guest:Nothing changes.
Guest:Nothing changes.
Guest:So let me just go back and have fun.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So Chicago now, like with you,
Marc:You're a very funny guy.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:Enjoy your stand-up.
Marc:And I don't know where the hell you came from, but you're of a different generation than I am, so I have to cop to being somewhat out of touch.
Marc:But I mean, you took the scene sort of by storm.
Marc:I mean, it happens.
Marc:I've seen it happen before in my life, where all of a sudden everyone's mentioning your name, and I'm like, who the fuck is
Guest:what makes him so fucking good now you did you started in chicago which is now known primarily as an improv town were you yeah but were you the same generation of like canane canane was a little bit ahead of me like my first or second year he moved to la okay so he was already kind of established in chicago when i was pretty new
Guest:And when you started out, what was the scene like?
Marc:Were you doing comedy clubs or just alternative rooms?
Guest:I was doing whatever, man.
Guest:I actually started out in my college town, Carbondale, Illinois.
Guest:I don't even know where that is.
Guest:That's Southern Illinois University.
Guest:And I performed there.
Guest:I went on at open mics there.
Guest:which was really cool because early on, it's such a small environment, and it's kind of encouraging.
Guest:Sure, sure, everyone likes you.
Guest:Yeah, I do a set in my college, and then I'm walking to the cafeteria, and people say, yeah, you said that one bit.
Guest:And so I got a rush from it immediately, Wes.
Guest:People were repeating things that I said to me, and I've been doing comedy for one month.
Guest:Yeah, so you're like, that was it.
Guest:It was a supportive environment.
Guest:How many kids at that school?
Guest:I think about 20,000 at the school.
Guest:Oh, so it's big.
Guest:It's a big school, but small town.
Guest:It's about half of the population of the town.
Guest:It's 20,000 in the town, I think, 25,000.
Marc:Were you doing gigs at the school or at a club?
Guest:There was a one-nighter at this place called Muggsy's, and then I would open up when they would have comedians come on campus.
Guest:I would try to get on and open up for them, and I would also, I started hosting an open mic, and I was just trying to do it all over.
Guest:In town or at the school?
Guest:In town, off campus.
Guest:My friend had an open mic in his house, actually.
Marc:That's a really small open mic.
Guest:Yeah, but it was a music and everything open mic, and poetry, so it was all types of people.
Guest:At the house?
Guest:At this house.
Guest:It was in his bedroom, and he had turntables set up, and he would DJ.
Guest:How big of a room was this?
Guest:I mean, it was 15 people or something in there, and some people popping their head in the window from outside.
Guest:Come on.
Guest:And it got too big for his bedroom, so it moved to the living room.
Guest:And that's when the show went downhill.
Marc:Once his room got big.
Marc:It got commercial.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:Was it a group house, like one of them college group houses?
Guest:Yeah, he had a couple roommates and stuff, but it was really fun.
Guest:That was a fun time.
Guest:What were you studying over there?
Guest:I studied a bunch of things.
Guest:I mean, what'd you major in?
Guest:My first major was business, but then there was this class called finite math that I couldn't handle, so I switched.
Marc:How does that look, not handling it?
Marc:You were just like, ah, this is not.
Guest:I could have probably focused and got it together, but I decided I didn't need finite math in my life.
Guest:I knew that even at 18.
Marc:I don't need finite math.
Marc:I can't do math, period.
Marc:I mean, it's amazing that I'm 47 and I'm just a dumbass.
Marc:I can't wrap my brain around algebra, nothing.
Guest:I'm a pretty good math guy, but finite math.
Guest:What does that even mean?
Guest:I still don't know what it means and I haven't even pursued it beyond that to see what about it made me struggle.
Marc:Now what might happen is you'll get into your 40s or 50s and you'll be like, I'm gonna revisit that finite math because I think I'm older now.
Marc:Maybe I could handle it.
Marc:No?
Guest:No, it'll be trauma.
Marc:So what did you end up getting a degree in?
Guest:I didn't get a degree.
Guest:I left because I was just really focused on doing stand-up.
Guest:So I really lost focus with classes.
Guest:You just bailed?
Guest:Kind of bailed.
Guest:I started missing classes and just really doing stand-up, man.
Guest:And what did your folks think of that?
Guest:They were very cool with me wasting thousands of dollars.
Guest:Nah, they hated it.
Guest:Wait, so wait, you're going to quit school?
Guest:and then come stay in our house and do open mics.
Guest:Which parent was that?
Guest:That was probably both of them, but my dad was more vocal about it.
Guest:And what kind of background do you come from?
Guest:What's his story?
Guest:He works at Union Pacific, the railroad company.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Doing what?
Guest:I'm not sure.
Guest:except what he says he goes to work he comes back he paid the bill i don't need to know detail he works he took care of the family he works then could you at least travel for free or anything no no traveling for free but you know what it's all right you did all right family had health insurance don't ask any questions kid
Guest:And what about your mom?
Guest:My mom worked at a psychiatric hospital when I was a younger kid, and then she started working as a teacher's assistant at a Lutheran school.
Guest:The school I actually went to from kindergarten to sixth grade, but she didn't work there while I was a student.
Guest:Was she a nurse?
Guest:No, she wasn't a nurse.
Guest:She just worked at the psychiatric hospital?
Guest:I don't know exactly what she did either.
Guest:I should've talked with them more, huh?
Guest:Maybe a little.
Guest:There's still time.
Guest:They around?
Guest:Yeah, they around.
Marc:Maybe you can pick up some of that stuff you missed.
Marc:Yeah, if I knew a family member who worked at a psychiatric hospital, I'd be asking a lot of questions.
Guest:She did tell us some stories about how patients kind of, one of them, they might have spit in her face and done crazy stuff.
Guest:Yeah, it wasn't that fun.
Marc:I can't imagine that fucking work in a day.
Marc:And you got brothers and sisters?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:How many?
Guest:Brother and sister.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:What do they do?
Guest:My brother works in human resources at Microsoft.
Guest:So that's fairly specific.
Guest:Yeah, that's fairly specific.
Guest:You kind of know what he does.
Guest:And my sister, she used to be a teacher.
Guest:She was a teacher in New York.
Guest:She lived in New York for a bit.
Guest:And then now she's not a teacher anymore.
Guest:She's trying to set up a nonprofit for young black kids, young black men, programs like that.
Guest:That's what she's working on now.
Guest:Oh, that's a noble undertaking.
Guest:It's very noble.
Guest:Someone's got to do something good.
Guest:I might do some stuff like that when I'm mature.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:When you got a lot of money?
Guest:Maybe.
Guest:Give a little something back?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But you can, I was thinking, because I was at, I went to the BET Awards yesterday.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And Steve Harvey got the Humanitarian Award.
Marc:Of course he did.
Marc:He's been lobbying for that for years.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so he does all these things and I was like, I need to do something like that and be nice or give something back.
Guest:And then I can't do it now because I don't have much, but you can give your time or give stuff.
Guest:So what did you come up with?
Guest:Did you come up with any plans?
Guest:I didn't come up with any plans.
Guest:Not yet.
Guest:I'll help kids learn stand-up comedy.
Guest:No, that's horrible.
Guest:No, that might help.
Guest:So the BET Awards, what the hell was that like?
Guest:It was an interesting show, man.
Guest:Did you win one?
Guest:No, I didn't.
Marc:I'm not nominated.
Marc:Oh, I'm sorry.
Marc:I thought you were black.
Guest:I apologize.
Guest:I am black, man.
Guest:You know what?
Guest:I'm still, I have 95% of the people that buy tickets to my shows are white.
Guest:I'm just starting to have black people come to my show.
Guest:I have to do a reverse crossover.
Marc:Now, see, it's an interesting topic that I didn't want to necessarily bring up.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Because recently I was talking to Dwayne Perkins, and I got an email about Dwayne Perkins, and then the email was sort of like, why do you got to make it about skin color?
Marc:Why can't you just talk about the riffs?
Guest:I'm like, I think he was talking about it.
Marc:He was talking about being black in my neighborhood.
Marc:There's this idea that we're not supposed to acknowledge yet, yet it defines a lot of who people are sometimes.
Marc:But that's an interesting thing about your audience, as you're saying, is that that isn't necessarily what defines you.
Guest:No.
Guest:I mean, I just talk about whatever.
Guest:It's some race stuff, but for the most part, I just talk about what I want to talk about.
Guest:Right.
Marc:And that's a unique thing.
Marc:Do you think that, in a sense, that that separates you from a lot of black comics?
Yeah.
Marc:I don't know.
Guest:Or you don't think about it.
Guest:I don't think, I just do what I do and hope that people laugh and wanna tell their friends about it and see it again.
Guest:I don't really think about it.
Guest:Why do you think so many white people come as opposed to black people?
Guest:Well for one, I perform in front of more white audiences.
Guest:Just in general?
Guest:Yeah, in general, in Chicago,
Guest:I performed because the city took my car because I had a bunch of parking tickets.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:They put a boot on it?
Guest:They put a boot on it.
Guest:Oh, that's the worst morning, man.
Marc:Yeah, that's embarrassing.
Marc:You wake up, that morning's a shitty morning.
Guest:Yeah, and everybody on your block sees that it's a boot on your car.
Guest:It's like a scarlet egg.
Marc:Like your car just fucked someone's wife.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And so after I lost my car, it was easier to get to the white rooms in Chicago.
Guest:than the black rooms, because the black rooms were on the south side, and you would have to... The public transportation is tough, but for the north side, it was easier to just take two buses to get to an open mic.
Marc:So it really is about... This changed the trajectory of your audience.
Guest:Maybe, early on.
Guest:I was doing all of them at the time.
Guest:I would just perform.
Guest:I tried to perform wherever I could, but I think early on that... But even without that, I think that...
Guest:When I first started, white crowds responded, they responded better to what I was doing.
Marc:Why do you think that is?
Marc:I mean, I don't, like, this is a whole world of, like, people ask me why I don't have black people on or why I don't have more black people on is that it's a different world.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, it's a different world of comedy.
Marc:I mean, I don't even know how to get in touch with some dudes.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know, and in terms of playing black rooms, I might have played one in New York, and I had my experience, but I don't know what your experience is.
Marc:What's the difference?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Well, this is a story.
Guest:I remember one time I did this room when I first started, and it was a black room, and I bombed.
Guest:And in the bathroom, there was this other comic.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He said, you got good material, man, but you got to yell at these motherfuckers.
Guest:That was his only advice.
Guest:Just yell at these motherfuckers, man.
Marc:Yeah, and did you try that?
Guest:No, I didn't try that.
Marc:You didn't experiment with yelling at them?
Guest:Nah.
Guest:And I've gotten weird intros at Black Club where the host is trying to be helpful, but it's kind of...
Guest:It's just weird for me and the audience where they say, okay, all right, everybody, this next guy, this guy, you got to listen to him.
Guest:He got some smart stuff.
Guest:You got to listen to him.
Guest:This guy is good, man.
Guest:All right, Hannibal Buress.
Guest:All right.
Guest:But I don't think I'm doing this crazy, high-minded comedy.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:I don't think that it's next level.
Guest:But that's how I got intro.
Guest:You got to listen to this guy.
Guest:You know what I'm saying?
Guest:He's saying some stuff.
Guest:So just be quiet and listen to him.
Marc:Well, I think that's interesting about expectation.
Marc:I think that what that speaks to more than anything else is that even in white clubs or certain clubs you go to, you know, when they start doing the bells and whistles or bringing you up to music or it's like, come on, everybody, give it up.
Marc:Give yourselves.
Marc:If I have a host that's sitting there like, give yourselves a round of applause.
Marc:Shut up.
Marc:Just shut up.
Marc:Let the fucking thing evolve at its own pace.
Marc:I think certain environments have a certain pitch that they operate at.
Marc:So they're just trying to say, this is different.
Marc:We're going to change speed a little bit.
Marc:But it makes you feel like you're like, I don't know how to.
Guest:Yeah, like I'm the special kid at the comedy.
Marc:But I imagine that given your pace, you've had to wait a bit for people to come around.
Guest:I mean, that's every, if a crowd doesn't know me, I could feel it where it might be a few minutes in and then they kind of,
Guest:Step on board.
Marc:Right.
Marc:The guys like you, people have got to sort of, they've got to come to you.
Marc:You're not going to change up to go reach out to them and then drop back into your pace.
Guest:But, you know, I've learned just from performing a bunch how to be able to speed it up and kind of attack a crowd a little bit and slow down.
Guest:So that's happened with...
Guest:with time, just learning with different gigs.
Guest:Like, I approach an outdoor gig at a festival different than I approach performing at UCB.
Guest:Oh, yeah, of course.
Guest:Because, you know, outdoors, you got to speed up your pace and the laughs aren't going to... Right.
Marc:You find that... Like, but in a theater gig, you sort of got to slow down.
Guest:In a theater gig, you slow down and let the laughs hit a little bit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Walk around a little more.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Just...
Guest:the small things.
Guest:I gotta figure a theater is great for you.
Guest:Theater is fun, dude.
Guest:I do a few, I open for Aziz Ansari a lot, and he does theaters, and so those are fun, dude, because that's easy work.
Guest:It's 20 minutes, they're already comedy fans.
Marc:Right, and it's only 12 minutes of your material.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:A 20-minute set in a theater.
Guest:And then, you know, and that's a bunch of new fans, and then when I go back to those cities as a headline, and my shows do kind of well.
Guest:so that's a lot of fun with theater who are some of the dudes you started out with in chicago chicago uh kumail was okay uh pete holmes uh tj miller nick vaderot uh yeah so your crew is doing all right yeah doing all right they're doing all right and and where are you like where where are you writing now i'm not writing anymore what happened there
Guest:I was at 30 Rock, then I didn't.
Marc:You started SNL, though?
Marc:I was at SNL.
Marc:I know we talked about a little of this on the live one, but I don't remember where we went with that.
Marc:So you're in New York.
Marc:When did you move to New York?
Marc:How long have you been doing comedy?
Guest:I've been doing comedy for nine years, since 2002.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:And then I moved to New York once in 2006 for about four months.
Guest:What happened?
Guest:New York kicked me out.
Guest:Yeah, they spit you out.
Guest:They spit me out.
Guest:I came with no money.
Guest:I came with like $200.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:What were you thinking?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:What was the plan?
Guest:The plan was I was going to take New York by storm with my jokes about pigeons.
Guest:You figured they'll know what I'm talking about.
Guest:You know what I'm saying?
Guest:I didn't plan it.
Guest:I just really, that was my focus.
Guest:I just wanted to go there and do stand-up.
Guest:I stayed with my sister for a little.
Guest:I just kind of popped up.
Guest:I talk about this on stage where I just popped up and I was really self-absorbed and I didn't even call her to tell her I was coming.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And she had a daughter at the time.
Guest:She still has a daughter.
Guest:She didn't get rid of the daughter.
Guest:She didn't get rid of the daughter.
Guest:She had a husband and daughter.
Guest:And I just pop up like, you live in New York?
Guest:I can stay here too.
Guest:I just want to do comedy.
Guest:I got $200.
Guest:Let's do this.
Guest:So I can do open mics.
Guest:And they kicked me out after two weeks.
Guest:Really?
Guest:And I was pissed.
Guest:But they were in the right.
Guest:I was totally wrong.
Marc:But isn't that amazing about comics, how selfish we are?
Marc:It's like, everybody's on board with my dream.
Marc:Yeah, you on board, right?
Marc:You're my sister.
Guest:Yeah, you got an extra bedroom.
Guest:Here, let me stay in it.
Marc:Well, why'd they kick you out?
Marc:They just, I mean.
Marc:They didn't know when it was going to end?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I mean, they would leave in town, actually, and then they just were like, you can't stay here while we're gone.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Now, how did you take that?
Guest:I took it horribly then, because I was thinking, what am I going to do?
Guest:I should have just went back home.
Guest:Were you pissed off at her?
Guest:I was super pissed, dude.
Guest:I was super pissed.
Guest:And this is what I tried to do.
Guest:They had a flight.
Guest:It was a Friday morning.
Guest:They had a flight.
Guest:And so I stayed out Thursday night and just tried to stay out and pass their flight time.
Guest:So you still had the key?
Guest:Yeah, so I still had a key.
Guest:And then I came in about 11 or something Friday morning, and she stayed.
Yeah.
Guest:She didn't take her trip?
Guest:She just got a different flight.
Guest:Because she knew you were doing that?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You guys all right now?
Guest:Yeah, we're cool now.
Guest:I realized that I was obnoxious, dude.
Marc:Did you have it out with her, though?
Guest:We never really had it out.
Guest:I mean, I stayed in New York a few more months, and during that time, I think she lent me money, and I would get mailed there.
Guest:But I was just crashing around.
Guest:I stayed in hostels.
Guest:I crashed on the train a bunch.
Guest:It was amazing.
Guest:Wait a minute.
Guest:You were sleeping on the train?
Guest:Yeah, I slept on the train a lot in New York.
Guest:What are you talking about?
Guest:You're one of those guys that would get on and just ride back and forth?
Guest:Yeah, I ride back and forth.
Guest:I'm very familiar with the Coney Island stop.
Guest:Is that the best one to sleep on?
Guest:No, it's just the end of the F train.
Marc:So that's when you have to switch trains.
Marc:So wait a minute, you had a plan.
Marc:Now what were your parents doing with all this?
Guest:I mean, they would send me money and stuff.
Guest:I'm sure they wanted me to come back, but I was also 23, so you can't make me do anything.
Guest:I just wanted to be that, man.
Guest:So you're like, fuck it, I'm doing it?
Guest:I was like, fuck it, I'm doing it, yeah.
Marc:So now, tell me how one ends up sleeping on the train.
Marc:What's that first choice like?
Marc:I mean, so you're staying at your sister's, that didn't work out.
Marc:So then you're staying at a hostel, but then you run out of money.
Guest:Yeah, and I stayed at a couple other hostels, and then sometimes I would crash at- And hostels are nasty.
Guest:Hostels were, it wasn't that bad.
Guest:The hostels I stayed at weren't that bad.
Guest:Did you ever stay at the Y?
Guest:No.
Guest:But yeah, it was.
Guest:So how much is a hostel, 20?
Guest:20, 25, 30 a night.
Guest:But there's a few cats in the room?
Guest:Yeah, there's a few other people in the room, depending on.
Guest:Did you ever get shit stolen?
Guest:I didn't have shit for people to steal.
Guest:You beat the system.
Marc:You gonna steal my dreams?
Guest:It sounds like they almost did.
Marc:So wait, all right, so then, okay, so you run out of money, and then you're gonna decide to sleep on the train.
Guest:It wasn't just, I think I was just, I mean, I might have had an open mic, and then I was like, okay, I guess I don't have a place to crash.
Guest:I guess I just sleep on the train and do the shit again.
Guest:So that was the first time?
Guest:I don't remember when exactly the first time was.
Marc:But that's a big transition to make.
Marc:You know, from like, you know, I'm going to sleep in a bed to where, you know, to knowing that you got a sister in town and you can go back to Chicago to sleeping on the train many times.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That's a big decision to make.
Guest:I guess so.
Guest:Where'd you take a shower?
Marc:Where'd you eat?
Marc:What the hell'd you do?
Marc:You weren't eating out of garbage or nothing, right?
Guest:No, I wasn't eating out of garbage.
Guest:I mean, I would, you know, I don't know, get a couple dollars for pizza or something.
Guest:I mean, I had some cash.
Marc:And the cops, they never bothered you?
Guest:I don't remember the cops bothered me.
Guest:The cops never bothered me.
Guest:But sometimes I would try to crash into Starbucks.
Guest:I would buy coffee and try to crash into Starbucks in Times Square on 42nd Street.
Guest:And then they'd come wake me up like, you can't sleep in here.
Guest:Like, well, your coffee is shitty.
Guest:Why am I going to sleep?
Marc:I just had a cup of your coffee.
Marc:I can't believe he did that.
Marc:I've never talked to anybody that has made that big of a commitment.
Marc:That made that silly of a choice.
Marc:No, I mean, he must not have had any friends in town.
Marc:I mean, where was Kumail?
Guest:Not that many friends.
Guest:Was Kumail there?
Guest:I don't know if Kumail was there yet.
Marc:I feel like we should call Kumail and ask him why the hell he didn't let you sleep at his house.
Guest:Kumail wasn't in New York yet.
Guest:I mean, I didn't have any good friends there yet.
Guest:And, you know, in New York, people are super...
Guest:protective of their space man especially yeah it's not much space i mean i had a couple friends that i had i would crash with for a few nights and then i would hook up with some girls just to crash with them nice but so what was the uh the moment where you realized you had to go home it was just i mean it was four months man you really needed sleep so you took the train to chicago yes i took a long train to chicago
Guest:my feet were all weird and shit man i just had it was just like exhausted and mentally exhausted but i you know during that trip that's when i got uh new faces from montreal i auditioned for it in new york and i ended up getting it like i found out after you went home after i went home i found out did you go home like beaten i mean were you like fuck it
Guest:yeah i was pretty i mean it was yeah it was kind of rough so then that thing came and you're like i'm in the game it was i thought that that would make me a working stand-up yeah i thought that would take me from that i just thought i didn't know i didn't think it would make me a star but i thought that it would make it so i could just uh work only doing stand-up and did it no
Guest:I got management.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then I got a gig at the Comedy Factory.
Guest:What was it?
Guest:Comedy Factory?
Guest:In Holland.
Guest:In Holland?
Marc:Yeah, it was a TV gig.
Marc:So you go from sweeping on the train, going back to Chicago.
Marc:My fucking dream is crumbling.
Marc:Bang, you got Montreal.
Marc:You're like, this is it.
Marc:I'm going to be a working comedian now.
Marc:No, but we got you a TV show in Holland.
Guest:Yeah, to perform.
Guest:So that was really, and that was, yeah, November of 06th.
Marc:And did, so you flew there, you did, who else was on that show?
Guest:Morgan Murphy did it with me.
Marc:Did you know any of these people before?
Marc:I mean, once Montreal happened and once that happened, is that when you started to meet the other cats and stuff?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, I met some people in New York during that first thing, but yeah, Montreal, I started meeting people.
Guest:Morgan Murphy, I think, did New Faces when I did it.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:uh trying to think who else was on uh the the holland thing butch bradley was on it yeah a couple other howard kramer was out there did you see him here you guys friends uh i haven't seen him here i see him sometimes we do when we do ucb i'll see him shit i gotta i just remembered i gotta email him um
Marc:All right, so then, okay, so you come back from Holland and things are better.
Guest:Things are a little bit, I mean, I started getting some feature work, I guess, and featuring in the Midwest, but just still working.
Guest:And you're still living in Chicago.
Guest:Still living in Chicago with my folks.
Guest:Oh.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's a hard one, huh?
Guest:Yeah, but it wasn't that rough.
Guest:Were you in your old room?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was fine with that.
Guest:It's just a place to chill in between open mics.
Marc:But you're still committed.
Marc:And at that time, your parents were like, maybe you ought to rethink this.
Marc:Maybe you ought to go back to school.
Guest:No, not really.
Guest:They never voiced that to me.
Guest:I think they saw that I really wanted to do it, so they never really said anything discouraging towards comedy.
Marc:What was the big shift then that kind of sealed the deal that made you realize that you're going?
Guest:You know what?
Guest:I think after that, I kind of knew, and it was after a few years in, I didn't know what it would be, but I kind of knew that I'd make a living either performing
Guest:or writing standard, I didn't know if I'd be a star or if I'd be huge, but I knew that at the least I would make a living at this a few years in.
Guest:So I didn't know when exactly it happened, but I knew I'd make a living.
Marc:Who were your guys growing up?
Marc:I mean, who were the guys that had the most influence on you comedically?
Guest:well i i really didn't get into stand-up until i started doing stand-up that's when i got into it heavily so then i bought richard pride yeah uh george carlin chris rock i bought those dvds yeah chappelle yeah just bought all those dvds just to see yeah just i was just i was just buy books all these books about how to do stand-up and you did i bought the judy gold book oh really she'd be happy to
Guest:The comedy.
Guest:He had a comedy Bible.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's how I learned what an act out was.
Guest:Because you had every joke needs to have an attitude.
Guest:This is Judy Gold.
Guest:This is Judy Gold.
Guest:And I read that book like, whoa, this is great.
Guest:I think it helped early on.
Guest:Early on with writing.
Guest:Just you need...
Marc:one little thing just to because like to me you just seem like a guy that kind of organically came into his own shit and just kind of did his own thing but you were actually worried about it because i never i never read any books yeah i read a lot of books and just would read look online for anything did anything help you that you can remember tangibly saying like okay this is a fucking key here i don't
Guest:I don't remember anything specific, but I think in the time, like then, eight years ago, seven years, I think some of it did help me, man.
Guest:Sometimes I don't do it as much anymore, but I would freeform write sometimes, and I think just writing in general.
Guest:Oh, you don't freeform write anymore?
Guest:Nah, where you just write anything and just see what... Nah, I haven't done that in a while.
Guest:Maybe I should start.
Guest:I don't write as much as I'd like to.
Marc:What's your process on joke writing?
Guest:Now it's kind of, I see something happen and try it out on stage and try to figure it out.
Guest:Especially if I have a club week, then I can kind of hammer it together over a few shows.
Guest:Or I do still write some stuff while typing in the computer and then try to remember it and try it out.
Guest:But I don't write as much.
Guest:I think most comedians don't think they write as much as they should.
Marc:I don't write jokes.
Marc:I write ideas, and then I end up talking things through.
Marc:I talk a lot of things through on the podcast, and then it gets in my head, and then I just got to see how it unfolds on stage, and then find new shit in it.
Marc:I always find new shit in it.
Guest:Yeah, it's easy to, yeah, you just keep doing it.
Guest:That's the best part about it.
Guest:And then, oh, you write something and you get away from it.
Guest:You might look back at something in a year and you got a new perspective.
Guest:There it is.
Guest:Kind of bring it out again.
Marc:Get that thing back up on the lift.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Fix that thing.
Marc:So how did the SNL thing come about?
Guest:SNL happened because I did a set on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They hit me up the day before.
Guest:Somebody got sick.
Guest:And then they invited me to perform.
Guest:I came in the next day and did it.
Guest:And I was just doing it.
Guest:I was just hoping that'll help my club gigs or whatever.
Marc:You just did a stand-up set.
Guest:Did a stand-up set.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And then they called me in to meet a couple weeks later.
Guest:And at the end of the meeting, offered me a job.
Guest:You met with Lorne?
Guest:I met with Seth Meyers and Steve Hedden.
Guest:You didn't meet with Lauren?
Guest:No.
Guest:I guess you don't have to meet with Lauren if you're not going to be on camera.
Guest:I think most people do meet with Lauren a little bit, but I don't know if this was a different situation.
Guest:I'm sure he had approval, but I think most of the writers do.
Guest:You were a special case?
Guest:I don't know what.
Marc:So you didn't have to deal with any of that weirdness?
Marc:That sounds like the easiest SNL meeting I've ever fucking heard in my life.
Guest:They were pretty chill, man.
Guest:I didn't even know that they were offering me a job.
Guest:I thought it was a general meeting at first, and I didn't want to do it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because general meetings are weird.
Guest:Yeah, because you're just sort of like, okay, great.
Guest:Yeah, this is my story.
Guest:They always ask you that.
Guest:What's your story?
Guest:How'd you start in stand-up?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But, yeah, so, yeah, they just offered me the gig at the end, man.
Guest:That's fucking nice.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And you worked there for a while and then you... Worked there for a season.
Marc:And then how'd you get pulled up to 30 Rock?
Guest:To 30 Rock?
Guest:Somebody recommended me to meet with them and then I sent over some of my sketches that didn't make it to SNL.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I met with Tina and Robert Carlock and then they offered me a job a couple weeks later.
Guest:How was Tina?
Guest:Is she nice?
Guest:Tina was nice, yeah.
Guest:How long did you work there?
Guest:Just a season, this past season.
Guest:And why'd you stop?
Guest:Just because I think I just wanted to do more stand-up.
Guest:I wanted to do more stand-up and try to figure my own thing out.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:How's that going?
Guest:It's going all right.
Guest:I mean, it's only been a couple months.
Guest:I've been just traveling a bunch.
Marc:That's pretty interesting, because a lot of dudes, they get the writing gig.
Marc:It's easy to get stuck in that.
Guest:Also, I'm not cocky enough to think that they would have 100% had me back.
Marc:Yeah, but I mean, you pulled out, but that wasn't the reason you left.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:That was the reason.
Marc:Some dudes, if you get a writing gig, you can just keep that going.
Marc:It's for living.
Guest:Yeah, it's nice.
Marc:But it doesn't sound like you know what to do with money anyways.
Marc:The last time I saw you, you didn't even have a bet, I think.
Guest:I got a bed now, man.
Guest:I got everything together with my place.
Guest:I had a sub letter for a little bit, because I'm traveling a bunch.
Marc:Am I wrong?
Marc:Am I making something up?
Marc:The last time in New York, I think I saw you, and you were like, you had a girl that maybe helped you get a bed or something?
Marc:No?
Guest:Yeah, so if you said that I don't have it, that's actually being extremely frugal then.
Marc:No, I understand, but I mean, you would think you'd buy it, but I'm just saying that some dudes, even if they have money, they might be sleeping on the train again.
Marc:Be one of those guys.
Marc:Be rumored to be rich and sleeping on the train.
Guest:No, the place is together.
Guest:My apartment is together and it's doing well.
Guest:I got a TV, couch, internet, wireless internet.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:I sent you something.
Marc:Did that thing ever work out?
Marc:The cards?
Guest:The video.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The game fly.
Guest:I never ended up using it.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:But I did appreciate that you sent it pretty quick.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:It's tough mailing stuff, man.
Guest:Yeah, you got to go to a post office.
Guest:You got to write on the envelope.
Yeah.
Marc:So now when you go out, because I see that you're doing pretty big tours, where do most of the people come in?
Marc:Are you selling out?
Guest:I'm selling out when I do music venues.
Guest:Like when I do a one night, I sold out Philly, like 125, 150.
Guest:Boston, a couple hundred.
Guest:Vancouver, like 300.
Guest:Where are most of those people seeing you?
Guest:I don't know if it's through the net or they see me open fuzzies.
Guest:Oh, okay.
Guest:Or if they through 30 Rock.
Guest:I think it's a mixture of a lot of stuff online.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And I think, yeah, like online press maybe.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:But they're coming.
Guest:People are starting to come a little bit.
Guest:And Dima made you a nice poster.
Guest:Dima made a beautiful poster.
Guest:He's really good, man.
Guest:I love that guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, he does all my posters.
Guest:Yeah, he's really good.
Guest:And so what happened?
Guest:Now let's talk about that Indiana thing.
Marc:That's kind of interesting.
Guest:It was just... But you said several people walked out on you.
Guest:Several people did walk out.
Guest:Just at the end.
Guest:Like, I don't know if I was going long, but people just started bouncing.
Guest:Were you doing well?
Guest:Some of the shows were going well.
Guest:Some of them were just so-so.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But now I'm starting to learn as a headline just how to power through.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because the show can... You can have a set where you're killing it for 20 minutes and then all of a sudden... Boom.
Guest:They just turn off.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you just got to...
Guest:Ride it out.
Guest:Ride it out, finish that time.
Guest:See if you can hook them back in.
Guest:See, I try to.
Guest:I try to, you know, turn it up a little bit.
Guest:Sometimes you just got to coast on that.
Guest:On that first one?
Guest:Coast on that apathy.
Guest:It's not a great feeling.
Guest:It's not, but it's not the worst thing in the world.
Marc:I turn on them a little bit.
Marc:I don't turn on them, but I was just in Canada, and I had a couple moments where they were just...
Guest:you know chaos you know it's just chaos and there was no way that was gonna let him just chatter and fucking because sometimes when they get quiet or they lose their train of thought they start talking yeah do you ever i mean how do you handle it i i mean if a table starts talking i'll say what are y'all talking about because i can i can hear you so i try to get in it get in it and just try to
Guest:you know, re-engage the audience.
Guest:Because that's what one thing was happening there where I don't know if it was because the servers were talking to people or getting orders, but it's a mixture of that and people talking in their own things.
Guest:And so it was shows where the crowd ever felt like one group
Guest:And it just felt like work.
Guest:Sometimes it just feels like you're just doing your thing.
Guest:And then sometimes it's like, damn, this is work.
Guest:I feel like I'm on comedy punishment right now.
Guest:People say, hey, you've been having too much fun, dude.
Guest:Indianapolis for you.
Marc:It's horrible and it just feels like babysitting.
Marc:And you're not doing anything that different.
Marc:But they just can't fucking pay attention.
Guest:God damn it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:See, I'm getting angry for you.
Marc:So let's talk about this.
Marc:All right, so you're at the BET Awards.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Now, have you done any Black Rooms lately?
Guest:I did Mo' Better Mondays last time I was in L.A.
Guest:Oh, over at the Improv?
Guest:At the Improv, yeah.
Guest:And what is the response?
Guest:The response was okay.
Guest:It went all right.
Guest:Now...
Guest:I think early on when I would do Black Rules, I didn't have any chops either, so I wasn't confident.
Guest:But now, even if it's not going that well, I can kind of act like I'm not... I can do my set like I'm doing great.
Marc:But is there a difference between a black audience and a white audience?
Guest:There's a difference, but I can't... It's not something I can really verbalize.
Guest:I mean, I guess... I don't know.
Guest:I mean, sometimes with a black crowd...
Guest:There's a lot of value put to just being a really good performer.
Guest:You mean animated.
Guest:And having energy.
Guest:There's a lot of values.
Guest:They want you to fucking.
Guest:But sometimes with.
Guest:I mean not to say that.
Guest:They pay their money.
Guest:Put on a show.
Guest:Performing and just kind of hitting hard.
Guest:And just really.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They're kind of notorious for being tougher crowds.
Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, I mean, it was my feeling that you can't really show, not in general, you can't show fear on stage, but they're not going to indulge any sort of half-baked shit or you kind of being insecure or bailing it all.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Like, yeah, it's none of that.
Guest:You can maybe get away with talking about one bit bombing, but once that other one, they'll shut down.
Yeah.
Guest:or yeah that'll happen where they'll just shut down yeah and and you can't do any you could do your best stuff but it'd be like nah we didn't like those first two things so it's over for you that's it yeah it's done there's this club in chicago jokes and notes yeah it's all black club and i worked there
Guest:Last time I worked there, it was two shows Friday, two shows Saturday.
Guest:And I did Friday's show, crushed it.
Guest:And second show Friday, same stuff.
Guest:bomb same material like a full bomb like a half hour bomb well no not even a half they will cut you short like oh really yeah they'll cut you like i had is the uh they did the the host told the dj to turn they started turning the music up on me lightly on it and i'm that's some open mic shit
Guest:This is a weekend show where it's a host feature headliner.
Guest:And you were featuring?
Guest:And I was featuring, and they turned the music up lightly on a three-act show.
Guest:They turned up the music on one of the acts.
Marc:That's crazy.
Marc:How far into the set?
Guest:I wasn't at my time yet, but it was going horribly.
Marc:but just nothing yeah it was it was light labs it's just a different yeah uh do you find now when you deal with uh because i know there's a black comic community so as much as there is a comic community in any cliquish way do you find that they know who you are i think they're starting to know who i am like i when i yeah they know who i am because of the writing stuff right they heard of me and and and know about me a little bit and what's uh what's your reaction
Guest:I mean, people seem cool, the boys I met.
Guest:Back home in Chicago, guys are pretty cool.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Because I think that there's, the one thing I noticed that there's definitely a more, and I'm trying not to get myself into any sort of generalization here, but it seems that with black comics and also with black performance that there's a much more conscious,
Marc:competitiveness.
Marc:Even when I watched that Shaquille O'Neal thing with D-Ray and Kevin, little Kevin, and who else was on there?
Marc:Ari Spears.
Marc:Backstage, there was just sort of like, you're going, I'm going to beat you.
Marc:I'm going to win here.
Marc:Did you feel any of that?
Marc:I actually wish there was more of that outwardly in the white comedy community, because we just sit and fester about it and pretend like we're not competing with each other.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Whereas that just seems that in the black community, I think comes from hip hop too.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That there was just this idea that you're going to top the other guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, I just, I, that's how I feel when I, when I go on a show, I want to be the best on the show.
Guest:I think everybody does, but yeah, you're right.
Marc:It's not as a, there's no open sort of communication about it.
Marc:We're all just being polite because we're all so fucking different.
Guest:Do you know what I mean?
Guest:It's like, well, he does what he does and I do what I do.
Guest:So there's no real way to judge us as the same thing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Fuck that.
Marc:did i just say that i'm just setting myself up for trouble because i mean in my own mind i do i do that thing where it's sort of like uh you know some of these jokes aren't gonna like totally kill because that's not what i do yeah sometimes you ever have a guy like you're doing a free show or some small show and some guy's lighting it up before you yeah god damn it i gotta work now yeah yeah that that is the worst
Marc:Yeah, that is the worst.
Guest:I got to work at this free... I got to really work to get the audience down, because this dude just lit it up.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:When you got a middle that's going to hand you your ass, because that's part of the payback, man.
Guest:Yeah, that's exciting, though, to have, because that keeps you sharp, and you want to really hit it.
Marc:Yeah, but there's... I think that's too loud up there.
Marc:There's a moment there, though, when you...
Marc:Cause I've done that as a middle, you know, and I know the feeling, but there's sometimes you ever had that moment where you're like, Oh, he's going to, he's going to win this one.
Marc:That's as a headliner.
Marc:That's just where, where, you know, there was, Oh God, you just know that you're going to do your shit.
Marc:But that, that was the set of the night.
Guest:They're going to say you should have been.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Cause that's what happened to me when I was reading, you should have been in God.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So now I know they say that's what it's going to come back at you.
Guest:It's the worst.
Guest:But you wish you could explain to them that the feature, that's the sweet spot on the show and it's an easy spot and they don't have check drops.
Guest:Yeah, you don't want to be saying that as a headliner.
Guest:You don't want to say that, but okay, given how tough it is, like with these extra details, now what do you think?
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
Marc:right no he you know he had a good set but he only had to do 25 and i'm up there doing the full 50 and yeah i got a check drop you can't say you can't say that no it hasn't happened in a while but some of it happens inside of you yeah you know sometimes like even if they get bigger laughs that you know you're still you you know what i mean i don't know now i'm rationalizing because there's a one spot this weekend that
Guest:No, that's great.
Marc:So what do you really want to do that you haven't done?
Guest:I just want to put out an hour special.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And just keep touring.
Guest:I want to hopefully do theaters in two or three years.
Guest:Start doing theaters.
Guest:So what's the model for you?
Guest:Like Louie?
Guest:Louie, yeah.
Guest:Louie Aziz.
Guest:Yeah, that's it right now.
Guest:Just because those guys are really the ones out there really working and turning over material and selling.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And what are you auditioning for TV or what?
Guest:I did some audition for this one pilot and they flew me out to test for it.
Guest:I came out and tested with the cast, but I didn't get it.
Guest:But I've been auditioning for some stuff and I think I'm going to come to L.A.
Guest:next year or early next year for pilot season for a month or two.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:See what happens.
Guest:Go run around.
Guest:Go run around.
Guest:Hopefully develop my own thing and figure out a show idea.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Pitch that around.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And what's it?
Guest:You've done Letterman?
Guest:I've done Letterman, yeah.
Guest:And you did Conan?
Guest:No, haven't done Conan.
Guest:You're doing Kimmel?
Guest:Doing Kimmel.
Guest:And you've done Fallon?
Guest:Done Fallon, Lopez, Ferguson.
Guest:oh you did uh you did lopez yeah how was that lopez was fun yeah well yeah it's a big room it is a really big room and it's the i mean i think it's the most the closest to an actual live comedy performance then oh yeah it's because the crowd is close to you yeah so if i mean it's a it's like a big club but they're right there and it's sort of like you play it doesn't feel like a studio
Guest:Yeah, you play in the crowd.
Marc:How'd you like that Ferguson thing?
Marc:There's 12 people there.
Marc:Was he even around when you did it?
Guest:He said, have a good set.
Guest:And then left.
Guest:And then left.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Guest:It's like, hey, man, it's five minutes.
Guest:Have a seat.
Guest:Did you say it?
Guest:Nah, I didn't say that.
Marc:that was my first time on tv so it's a hot audience yeah yeah it went well it was fun they're all jacked up yeah i don't know man that was that was the weirdest experience i ever had why why won't he stay there i don't know what the deal is i think he doesn't you know i don't because it's not i think what the reason is honestly i mean there's no reason why he can't just watch with the audience or sit there everybody else does
Guest:Right.
Marc:But they use it like radio.
Marc:See, like he can't outro you because they just want to have these comics sets to drop in wherever the hell they want.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So, you know, so you don't know what he's going to be wearing.
Marc:You know, like they don't sometimes they'll tape you and they don't have a plan where it's going to go.
Marc:They just know that like we got five minutes here.
Marc:Let's use that comic set.
Guest:They did mine day of, though.
Marc:Well, that's bullshit.
Marc:You got mistreated over there.
Marc:I would think I would.
Guest:Yeah, it's like, why don't you, it's five minutes, Craig.
Guest:Just hang out full of it.
Marc:It was a little weird.
Guest:It is weird, because I'm just waving on the fade out, like, thank you, everybody.
Guest:Yeah, I had that moment.
Guest:Everybody else comes over and shake your hand.
Guest:Thank you for being on my show.
Marc:Yeah, I definitely noticed that when I did it, that you're sort of like, thank you, and then you just stand there, and the camera just pulls out.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It went well, though.
Marc:How'd yours go?
Guest:I think it went well.
Guest:It was my first time.
Guest:I mean, I look at it now, like, oh, I was kind of stiff and uncomfortable.
Guest:And when are you doing Kimmel?
Guest:Tomorrow?
Guest:Doing Kimmel tomorrow.
Guest:And you got a set?
Guest:I have a set, yeah.
Guest:And you keep doing different sets?
Guest:Yeah, for the late nights, yeah.
Guest:You haven't repeated anything?
Guest:No, not on late nights.
Guest:I've done stuff on Comedy Central that I've done.
Guest:The long set.
Guest:On late nights.
Guest:Yeah, but that's all right.
Guest:None of the late nights.
Guest:On the half hour.
Guest:Did you do an hour?
Guest:No, I haven't done a half hour, but just from like John Oliver's show.
Guest:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:You haven't done a half hour yet?
Guest:No.
Guest:Are they going to give you one?
Marc:Are they doing them still?
Guest:No, I didn't want.
Guest:I kind of passed.
Guest:Just waiting?
Guest:Yeah, I just decided to wait and see if they'll give me an hour just because that'll just give me time to perform more and get better.
Marc:You got a plan, man.
Marc:I see the plan in place.
Marc:You're going to be the hour guy, the stand-up man.
Guest:I just rather wait and just hit the road more.
Guest:Have you been offered other writing jobs?
Guest:uh i have yeah but no i didn't take it oh dude it's good for you i took one short job this just a quick thing like kind of just sending stuff in but no i i haven't taken any other staff jobs i i mean i respect it i mean it's hard to uh
Marc:On some level, it's hard to turn down, you know, union wage writing work.
Guest:Yeah, it's nice.
Marc:To pursue this crazy dream.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But I don't think you're going to sweep on any more trains.
Marc:No, no.
Guest:Not because you have to.
Guest:No.
Guest:Yeah, it'd be just straight up.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because you feel it.
Guest:I want to sleep on the train.
Guest:Now your parents are a little more comfortable with everything?
Guest:They're comfortable, man.
Guest:Yeah, they're proud of you.
Guest:Yeah, I got them a couple gifts and stuff.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like what?
Guest:got them uh last year i got a flat screen oh good yeah and then for christmas i got them one of those keurig coffee makers oh yeah the ones that want the one cup oh yeah you put it in yeah yeah it's nice so they're like he's doing all right he's doing all right that's a coffee
Guest:But it's nice to be able to get them stuff after, you know.
Marc:Yeah, after letting you live in there until you're 30?
Guest:How long was it?
Guest:It was until 20, 25?
Guest:Yeah, I left in 08, so yeah, 25.
Marc:And did you buy your sister a present?
Guest:I didn't.
Guest:I've bought my sister stuff before.
Guest:I helped with her nonprofit she started out.
Guest:I helped with that.
Guest:What does that mean?
Guest:You go talk to the kids?
Guest:No, I just gave some money.
Guest:When are you going to go talk to the kids?
Guest:They haven't.
Guest:It's still in the early stages.
Guest:So she's setting up the thing where she could ask for grants and just getting all of that early process.
Guest:But you're going to talk to the kids.
Guest:I guess I talk to the kids.
Guest:I just say some bullshit.
Guest:Just tell them that you kids, you can do anything you want to do.
Guest:You just got to focus and follow your passions and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
Guest:Yeah, and don't be afraid to sleep on a train if you have to.
Guest:Don't be able to.
Guest:Does anybody else sleep on trains besides performers?
Guest:Like unnecessarily, does people?
Guest:Like, yeah, while I was working on my NBA, I slept on the train.
Guest:I was interning at Goldman Sachs.
Guest:I slept on a train, an F train.
Guest:There's nowhere else for me to go.
Guest:Just holding on to my briefcase.
Guest:I will wash my dress shirts in the McDonald's sink.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was tough times.
Guest:All right, Hannibal.
Guest:Good talking to you, man.
Guest:Good talking with you too.
Marc:That's our show.
Marc:Hannibal Burress.
Marc:What else is going on?
Marc:He's going to be at the Atlanta Punchline in Atlanta, 21st and 22nd.
Marc:That's Friday and Saturday.
Marc:I'm going to be at the Punchline in San Francisco, November 2nd through 5th, and at the Neptune Theater in Seattle, November 25th.
Marc:I hope you go to WTF pod.com and kick in some shackles, buy some new merch.
Marc:We got some new Christmas merch coming.
Marc:We got buttons coming.
Marc:We got tote bags coming.
Marc:We got the tote bag button sticker CD gift pack combo coming.
Marc:I ain't pitching too hard, but you know, this is how I earn a living now.
Marc:This is my show.
Marc:I'm glad you like it.
Marc:Oh God.
Marc:That's it.
Marc:There you go.
Guest:Boomy.
Marc:Boomy.
Guest:Boomer.
Marc:Boomer.
Marc:Boomer.
Marc:Boomer.
Marc:Boomy.
Marc:What?
Marc:I think we got one out of them.