Episode 22 - Doug Stanhope / Janeane Garofalo
Marc:Lock the gates!
Guest 3:Are we doing this?
Guest 3:Really?
Guest 3:Wait for it.
Guest 3:Are we doing this?
Guest 3:Wait for it.
Guest 3:Pow!
Guest 3:What the fuck?
Guest 3:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?
Guest 3:What's wrong with me?
Guest 3:It's time for WTF!
Guest 3:What the fuck?
Guest 3:With Mark Marron.
Marc:Okay, let's do this.
Marc:How are you, what the fuckers?
Marc:Thank you for joining.
Marc:I've about fucking had it.
Marc:My what the fuck meter is way the fuck up.
Marc:I don't know what's going on.
Marc:I read a couple of articles and, you know, just kind of jarred my soul.
Marc:I'm trying to move.
Marc:I got a million things going on and I just want out.
Marc:I just want out.
Marc:I had Brett Netzen on here from Built to Spill a little while back and
Marc:And he's been emailing me.
Marc:I literally got like five or six links to a guy who basically seems to spend his life composting his own shit.
Marc:This is his life.
Marc:It's a series of five or six things about just a guy who's replenishing his soil that literally is showing you how to compost and, you know, create separate bins of, you know,
Marc:composting your own shit letting it sit and ferment for a year and a half till it becomes soil and then integrating it and growing food out of it and i watch that and i'm like well at least he's got something to do every day he's composting his own shit and then brett netson sends me another guy who's growing tea on his balcony in berkeley sustaining their lives by growing things i got sam cedar up in upstate new york growing things why the hell am i not doing that
Marc:That seems like a good life to me.
Marc:Then I read an article about these dudes up in Maine.
Marc:They meet once a year.
Marc:They're sort of a politically active group, but they're not Republican or Democrat.
Marc:Basically, what they are is they believe that our government, they're all fucked.
Marc:They're all screwing us in the ass, no matter who they are.
Marc:And they just do this protest where they they're not isolationists.
Marc:They're not anarchists, but they they they shoot guns at televisions.
Marc:once a year and there's anarchists and there's constitutionalists and there's you know people that want to live off the grid and and i believe in that stuff there was a time where i used to break televisions i would break televisions just to find some relief and at least know that there's an illusion there and then i read an article in time magazine about about the dollar being devalued and that maybe i should buy some gold and then i start to think like that's it i'm fucking done
Marc:Fuck it.
Marc:I'm going to buy a couple of gold bars and I'm heading for the hills.
Marc:And I've talked about this on my CDs.
Marc:I've talked about it before that I have this fantasy in my head that if I just learn how to compost my own shit and get a small cabin and have a couple of gold ingots that I'll hide in the floor and I get a gun and I'll be okay.
Marc:And I'll just boil things and put things in jars and I'll be okay up there.
Marc:And I'll have some chickens and maybe a goat.
Marc:a goat because i talked to zach about goats maybe a goat a couple of goats and i'd be all set and i picture that and i'm sitting up there on my porch with my gun talking to my goats knowing my gold's in the floor and my shit's composting out back and i think to myself okay well what happens week two what do we do week two
Marc:How soon before I start saying, I wonder if I get reception up here.
Marc:Is there any way that I can get the cable hooked up?
Marc:Where's my big screen?
Marc:What about my cell phone?
Marc:What if I want to get on the Internet?
Marc:Why do I need all this shit?
Marc:I mean, what the fuck?
Marc:Why can't I just be happy with just sitting on my porch with my goat knowing my gold ingots in the floor?
Marc:God damn it.
Marc:So that's where my head's at.
Marc:And I'm very excited to have Doug Stanhope on the show today.
Marc:I've not really met Doug in any formal sense.
Marc:I met him a couple of times.
Marc:We know of each other.
Marc:We're sort of in the same circle of comedy.
Marc:And we've exchanged emails here and there, but I've never sat down and talked with him.
Marc:And he's a libertarian dude.
Marc:He certainly has made his own destiny.
Marc:Looking forward to talking to him and hopefully...
Marc:Jeanine Garofalo, who's never met Doug, called me and said she'd like to drop by, so we'll see if she stops by, and maybe we'll get some closure on this.
Marc:Maybe I can do the podcast from a van that I live in with my shit composting outside of the van, and maybe I'll have the gold ingots in the van.
Marc:That's what I'm going to do.
Marc:Oh, and I'm going to have a big bunch of this in a box, some Just Coffee.
Marc:Hold on.
Marc:Pow!
Marc:I just shit my pants, but it's okay.
Marc:I'm going to compost it.
Marc:Go to wtfpod.com for some justcoffee.coop.
Marc:Poop.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Let's get Doug in here.
Guest 4:No, thanks.
Guest 4:How long have you been quit?
Guest 4:Ten years.
Guest 4:No shit.
Guest 4:That's great.
Marc:I don't know what the fuck.
Marc:I mean, I haven't smoked a cigar.
Marc:I've had a couple over the last ten years, but sometimes I'll start smoking cigars and get hooked on everything.
Marc:And now I've got to get off those because those are like sucking on an exhaust pipe and you know they can't be good for you.
Guest 4:Yeah.
Marc:At first, you're sort of like, well, I'm not inhaling.
Marc:Yeah, but I'm getting mouth cancer.
Guest 4:Yeah, mouth cancer is way worse than lung cancer.
Marc:It is, right?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And then someone turned me on to this Swedish shit, this snus, which is like chewing and they stick up here, but it's supposedly a lot more pure and it's better and there's no cancer in it.
Marc:I'm like, this is great.
Marc:But then after about a month of that where I'm basically eating this shit, I'm like, this can't be good.
Marc:There's no way this can be good.
Marc:And then I go back to the loessages and the gum.
Marc:I'm on more nicotine than I ever was smoking cigarettes.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I don't know why I like it.
Guest 4:Yeah, I've never found anything that works.
Guest 4:I've been, like, I don't know, a few weeks now.
Guest 4:Quit.
Marc:You have?
Guest 4:Yeah.
Guest 4:Are you tweaked?
Guest 4:Nah, I quit.
Guest 4:We quit for a year.
Guest 4:I smoked heavily for 20-something years, and we quit for a year.
Guest 4:And we went to Costa Rica this year, and it was $1.25 a pack.
Guest 4:So you had to.
Guest 4:And you could smoke everywhere.
Guest 4:Like, all right, fuck it.
Guest 4:Just this week, we'll...
Guest 4:So it's been off and on all year.
Marc:My guest in studio is, this is an interesting convergence here.
Marc:This is the mighty Doug Stanhope.
Marc:Can I call you that?
Marc:Certainly.
Marc:You know, I have known of you and about you, and we've interacted over the years.
Marc:I mean, people see you.
Marc:I don't think I've seen you.
Marc:Ten years.
Marc:I can't even remember because we get lumped in.
Marc:People ask me about you, and then people compare us because there's a certain realm of comedy that people get lumped together.
Marc:And there's not that many people that do it, which is honest or aggressive or raw or whatever you want to call it.
Marc:I just know there's only a few people that do it.
Marc:And people have been requesting that I have you on the show.
Marc:And I was trying to think.
Marc:And then I got an email from you not too long ago, a very nice email about my record.
Guest 4:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:I listened to your latest.
Marc:It was great.
Marc:Well, I appreciate it, man.
Marc:It was actually very moving for me to get that email from you because, like, you're just one of those guys that is out there doing the real work, and I don't know, you know, like, I get these dispatches from your, I'm on your mailing list, and it's like, Doug is playing a bathroom at a gas station near the Grand Canyon.
Marc:You can get tickets and brown paper bag tickets.
Marc:There's only room for three more.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And I'm like, holy fuck.
Guest 4:Yeah, we've been doing some weird ones.
Guest 4:Bowling alleys and shit.
Marc:What is it?
Marc:I mean, you're like a troubadour out there.
Marc:But, you know, the thing I respect the most about it is somehow or another you've managed to get out from under the restraints of show business and people dictating how and where you play and club owners dictating whether or not you can play.
Marc:And you've just gone it on your own, which takes a certain amount of fortitude and ambition and belief in what you do.
Marc:Whereas most comics are sort of like, can I go on?
Guest 4:It's honestly, it's really, I fucking hate to say it, but MySpace was the thing where, you know, because people are so lazy about signing up for your mailing list where MySpace, if they have pictures and a fucking comment.
Guest 4:So once you have direct access to your fan base, you can fucking play anywhere.
Guest 4:My crowd doesn't give a shit if I'm at Caroline's or a fucking Elks Lodge.
Marc:So it wasn't fundamentally a fuck you to the organized comedy business?
Guest 4:Yeah, well, certainly.
Guest 4:I mean, first of all, the money's better.
Guest 4:I mean, I'm getting 80% to 100% of the door when I do those goofy-ass gigs.
Guest 4:So the money's better, and there's no comment cards or bullshit.
Guest 4:There's no birthday parties or bachelorette parties that accidentally walk in.
Marc:No chicks with a dick on their head.
Marc:Yeah, exactly.
Guest 4:So it's just people who know what you do.
Guest 4:Yeah.
Guest 4:Yeah.
Marc:It must be nice, man.
Marc:I mean, it must be just great to be out from under that thing where you get to a club and the club owner's like, I don't understand.
Marc:Last week was packed, man.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You remember that?
Marc:It's like, what week were you talking about?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest 4:There's something.
Guest 4:There's a rival.
Guest 4:Oh, well, it's a big rival.
Guest 4:A high school basketball game.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest 4:Fucking fans aren't going to high school basketball.
Marc:They're giving away cats downtown.
Marc:Just say, I'm unpopular.
Marc:I've been unpopular my whole career.
Guest 4:It's not like I'm going to be shocked by it.
Guest 4:Just say it.
Guest 4:Blame it on the rodeo.
Marc:Yeah, that you figured it out.
Marc:Because, I mean, I've had to deal with that my whole career.
Marc:And I'm just starting to get the hang of this now.
Marc:I mean, I love doing the podcast and stuff.
Marc:But just going out, the idea that you can play for a crowd that there's nothing worse than a crowd that's just sort of like, we're just going for comedy.
Marc:It says comedy on the sign, so they're going to fit into what we believe comedy is.
Guest 4:Yeah, we had a coupon, so that's how we dictate our weekend's entertainment.
Guest 4:I guess you've scared a few people off, haven't you?
Guest 4:Yeah, a few.
Guest 4:I do miss that.
Guest 4:I'm at a comedy club this week, and last night we had a table full of, you know, those kind of just, it's Friday, so we have to do something.
Guest 4:We're in from Jersey.
Guest 4:Yeah, throw a dart at the weekly.
Guest 4:And I kind of miss that, you know.
Guest 4:The resentment?
Guest 1:Don't fuck you.
Guest 4:It's your fault.
Guest 4:You put zero thought into your entertainment, so you deserve this.
Marc:You're going to pay.
Guest 4:You're going to pay.
Guest 4:I hate that I missed that.
Marc:No, it's great because it provokes.
Marc:The thing that I love about that is that you're completely not what they expected.
Marc:There's no fucking way they would ever spend time with you in any context.
Marc:And there they are.
Marc:And they've got to listen to you and process you.
Marc:And all you can do is just push it.
Marc:Just push it.
Marc:Just see how far you can push it.
Marc:And everybody else loves it.
Marc:And the best that can happen is they leave her cry.
Guest 4:Yeah.
Marc:Or like you.
Marc:But, you know, that's a stuff.
Guest 4:Yeah, I don't think that happened.
Marc:What happened?
Guest 4:Last night.
Guest 4:Oh, no, there's just some girls.
Guest 4:And she actually raced backstage after the show.
Guest 4:She jumped on stage and ran into the green room at Comics.
Guest 4:She said, what was that all about?
Guest 4:Oh, really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:No boundaries at all.
Marc:She didn't like you, but she wanted to confront you.
Guest 4:Yeah, but again, her ego was attached at that point.
Guest 4:So there was part of her that hated the fact that she liked to be picked on.
Guest 3:Yeah.
Guest 4:Oh, you're lucky you didn't end up marrying her.
Guest 4:Yeah, I heard about that.
Guest 4:Your disc is one of those, your latest, where you think about it all the time.
Guest 4:I find myself, oh, we stop eating in between meals.
Guest 4:Every time.
Guest 4:I'm eating between meals now.
Guest 4:I hear that.
Guest 4:I want to quit comedy and that whole bit about you wandering through Canada.
Guest 4:That sounds like a great idea, but what happens on day three?
Guest 4:Exactly.
Guest 4:Every time I want to disappear into Costa Rica, I go, I don't know.
Guest 4:You think that way too?
Guest 4:Yeah, I do, but I know that I would be bored out of my tit.
Guest 4:I'm such a slave to everything I hate.
Guest 4:I've become every American that I make fun of.
Marc:Well, that's the weird thing is that like I was thinking about that today because I'm moving and back to L.A.
Marc:And there was a time where I just I hated television.
Marc:And when I was younger, like there was I went through this period where I'd buy TVs at thrift stores just to throw them off buildings.
Marc:And now I have spent literally three weeks obsessing about like, how the fuck am I going to get my big screen back to L.A.?
Marc:How am I going to do that?
Marc:I mean, do I have to pack it myself?
Marc:I don't want to break like I'm like I'm that guy.
Marc:Like, I don't know what I do without the big screen.
Guest 4:DVR.
Guest 4:Yeah.
Guest 4:It's fucking ruined my my my career.
Guest 4:I think I think 80 percent of my creativity was sucked away once I get DVR.
Marc:Oh, no shit.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And how about how much of your creativity is sucked away?
Marc:This is the other thing about managing the business of being your own guy.
Marc:Is that, you know, doing dispatches, making sure you're connected with the fans and everything and having all that.
Marc:I mean, I never got in this to work.
Marc:Did you?
Guest 4:No, no.
Guest 4:Yeah, no.
Guest 4:That's the problem.
Guest 4:That's the trade-off with, you know, like all the Facebook and MySpace.
Guest 4:It's a fucking full-time job.
Guest 4:I used to do stuff on the internet.
Guest 4:I'd cruise it and I'd learn shit and I'd read stuff.
Guest 4:And now I look at it like a pile of dishes where it's, ah, shit, that's a list.
Guest 4:It's just too many problems.
Guest 4:There's too many unanswered emails in there.
Guest 4:Yeah.
Guest 4:And comfort is a real problem, too.
Guest 4:My life is good.
Guest 4:I'm in a good relationship.
Guest 4:I have a couple dogs and a couple cats and a small house in the middle of nowhere.
Guest 4:It's really shitty for comedy, where you feel like you have to force yourself into more self-destructive places and make bad choices just for the business.
Marc:So you can find the anger.
Marc:To be professional.
Marc:I don't think that if Stanhope got on stage and said, I'm feeling great.
Marc:Everything's okay.
Guest 4:Yeah, you're in the green room and you go, oh shit, I'm smiling.
Guest 4:Everything sucks.
Marc:Everything sucks.
Marc:Get ready.
Marc:Yeah, I just, I find that I end up, even if things are good, I can find something.
Marc:Can't you?
Guest 4:Yeah, well, you can turn on the news.
Guest 4:I always feel cheap when I'm watching CNN just for material.
Guest 4:Yeah, well, you have to, though.
Guest 4:It's just an immediate reflection of I'm not doing anything with my life.
Guest 4:I'm not taking any chances or trying new shit.
Guest 4:I'm just happy.
Guest 4:Balloon boy jokes.
Guest 4:These will fly.
Guest 4:Yeah, you got a couple.
Marc:Get a week out of that.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:Make it big enough to be broad enough to represent something else and get a month out of it.
Marc:I'm just happy you're still alive, man, because Jesus Christ.
Marc:I mean, when I used to keep up with you, I mean, I think the first time I ever met you was probably in 1995 at the Aspen Comedy Festival.
Marc:I think you were on Ecstasy and you were wearing a Santa hat.
Marc:And you just sort of were bouncing around in a Santa hat and I didn't get to see you.
Marc:I used to wear a Santa hat for no reason.
Guest 4:Just for attention, I'm guessing.
Marc:And then there was the period where everywhere you went, for some reason, you were naked by the end of the show.
Guest 4:Yeah, yeah.
Guest 4:I stopped doing that as I started getting older and looking at myself.
Marc:What was that about exactly?
Marc:How did that transpire?
Marc:Because it was thematic.
Marc:I remember that people would come up to me and show me pictures of Stan Hope naked.
Marc:And then there were many of them like, is he closing with this?
Guest 4:Yeah.
Guest 4:No, I just I had a habit of getting drunk and I'd just get naked.
Guest 4:I was fucking ridiculous.
Marc:There was not some thought behind it?
Marc:Like, it's like, if I do this, there's never anything to be afraid of?
Guest 4:I guess there was something of that.
Guest 4:I remember the first time I did it on stage where I got the reputation was in Austin at the Cap City.
Guest 4:And they did a midnight blue show on a Saturday, a third show, late, like midnight, obviously.
Guest 4:Yeah.
Guest 4:But they invited the crowd from the second show to hang around, and I had just headlined.
Guest 4:And I'm not going to be any dirtier.
Guest 4:It's not like there's anything I'm holding back in my regular show.
Guest 4:So they had local guys go up, and then I just went up naked and just did airline material and fucking just had the hackiest material I could think of.
Guest 4:And then you're like, that's your hook.
Guest 4:You're the naked guy.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:i don't know how the hell you did it to me it's frightening the idea that karaoke and being on stage naked are two things like well yeah i drink quite a bit so yeah the fear goes away but you quit smoking quit smoking yeah uh and then i think fat didn't you uh also like i mean like i haven't kept up specifically but i know there were some highlights didn't you you didn't you also get a vasectomy and then publish the photographs online
Guest 4:Yeah, yeah, it took a little video.
Guest 4:Yeah?
Guest 4:Did that bring some fans around?
Guest 4:Yeah, I don't know that I got any new clientele from it, but yeah, my balls, because I got Granulomas, where I guess you continue to produce...
Guest 4:But it leaks out and my balls swelled up like just unbelievable sized balls.
Guest 4:So I had to put some pictures out just to prove that I wasn't exaggerating.
Guest 4:That was fucking freakish.
Marc:That would have seemed the time to resurrect the naked thing.
Marc:As if you actually had sort of a freak show element.
Guest 4:Yeah, no, I'm sure I pulled him out a few times.
Guest 4:That's a few years ago.
Guest 4:I don't remember exactly.
Guest 4:But yeah, I had a, yeah, sorry.
Marc:No, no, dude, bring it.
Marc:Now, the other thing that I guess I want to talk about was that, did you actually do, you ran for president, kind of?
Guest 4:Yeah, I started I went through the beginning processes and then it just turned into such a nightmare.
Guest 4:It's just a labyrinth of paperwork and bullshit.
Guest 4:And, you know, if you you're accounting, that was the biggest reason I dropped out, because if you screw up even a little bit.
Guest 4:With your paperwork, you can get six-figure fines for fucking up, and I fuck up way too much on a daily basis to risk any of that just for a goof.
Marc:Do you think they put that in place so people don't prank like that to make it complicated enough?
Guest 4:I'm sure on some level, but a lot of it's legitimate.
Guest 4:If I were a legitimate contender getting actual contributions—
Guest 4:But as just doing comedy, that was one of the things.
Guest 4:If I were to talk about my campaign on stage, then any money I made would be considered campaign contribution.
Guest 4:So then to give them the license to check your money out.
Guest 4:Well, no, I mean, it wouldn't be my money.
Guest 4:It would be a campaign contribution if I was talking about, you know, people paying me 20 bucks to come see my act and I'm talking about my campaign.
Guest 4:Yeah, that's those were the gray areas where you go.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:What was the platform?
Marc:Libertarian.
Marc:And now you are a libertarian.
Marc:You know, I'm doubting it.
Marc:When I think about like some of the stuff I talked about on that record or going off the grid or moving to Canada, I just, you know, I read an article about these guys in Maine that actually go out and shoot television sets that it's not about right wing or left wing.
Marc:It's about the fact that the democracy is a tired old whore that's been sold out a long time ago.
Marc:Whether or not can be resurrected, I don't know.
Marc:But I've always wondered where you stand on that politically.
Marc:What does a libertarian mean to you?
Guest 4:Unfortunately, it means you have to count on human goodness.
Guest 4:And you can only keep that drunk going for so long before you go, all right.
Guest 4:But yeah, it's just self-sufficiency and self-reliance.
Guest 4:I guess I'd be an anarchist ultimately.
Guest 4:But then, yeah, no, I don't have enough faith that human beings at this stage could get along in –
Marc:Human goodness in the sense that some part of libertarianism in your mind is that, you know, people would look out for each other if they had the freedom to do so.
Marc:That if the impersonal responsibility, you meant that, you know, human beings as a community had to take care of their own community.
Marc:That kind of thing.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Because I think libertarianism gets confused with these idiots that are like, you know, do whatever you want to stay off my property or I'll shoot you.
Guest 4:Yeah.
Guest 4:And there's a lot of that faction.
Guest 4:And that's why getting involved with the party and all was absolutely I went to the convention and I'm gone.
Marc:What were they like?
Marc:Because I think they're just they're they're Republicans that don't care if guys fuck each other in the ass on social.
Guest 4:But there's not enough of the not caring about guys fucking each other in the ass to make it.
Guest 4:There's not enough of the hippie drug element to offset the Christian homeschooling.
Guest 4:I don't want the government teaching my kids because they'll teach evolution.
Guest 4:That's the heavier part of the party.
Guest 4:Really?
Guest 4:Yeah.
Guest 4:Oh, that's a fucking shame.
Guest 4:Yeah.
Guest 4:And I thought it would be a... Like, come on, let's take mushrooms and build a thing.
Guest 4:Yeah.
Guest 4:Yeah.
Guest 4:Again, parties... A libertarian party just won't work.
Guest 4:It's like a planned anarchism.
Guest 4:It's not going to...
Marc:So tell me a bit about some of the stuff that you used to do when you used to do sort of a desert festival of sorts.
Guest 4:Yeah, for I guess it was six or seven years.
Guest 4:We found a spot in Death Valley where we'd have between 50 and 100 of us every year.
Guest 4:We'd get together for four days and just, yeah, our own personal Burning Man.
Guest 4:It started to grow, and that's why we had to kill it because it got out of control where people we didn't know were showing up.
Guest 4:Are you saying like the bikers started to come?
Guest 4:No, yes, yes, exactly.
Guest 4:the mongrels showed up because the whole idea was you know doing road comedy you make so many great friends that you only see once a year when you're traveling through wherever and so it was a matter of getting all those people together in one place and it was really fun but then the next year people would bring their friends and then the next year those people wouldn't show up but their friends would and they'd bring their friends and
Guest 4:They kind of get to a place where it was like after a show.
Guest 4:Hey, I'm Doug.
Guest 4:Who are you?
Guest 4:Who are you?
Marc:Right.
Marc:So it turned into exactly what it was.
Marc:It lost the party element and people were bringing shitty people.
Marc:Like who invited that guy?
Guest 4:Sorry about my pig flu.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You got the pig flu?
Guest 4:Did you have it?
Guest 4:I had something when I went to London.
Guest 4:I don't know what it was.
Marc:You know what's great about you that I'm finding right now as we kind of talk for the first time?
Marc:The last time I saw you, it was at the Coaching Horses before I got sober.
Guest 4:That's the last time I remember seeing you.
Marc:And you wrote in a letter that you thought that I had a beef with you or something.
Marc:I don't remember.
Guest 4:No, no, you didn't have a beef.
Guest 4:You just said, you know, I always hated you.
Guest 4:But then I saw you, and I think you're funny.
Guest 4:So it was one of those compliments that hurt at the beginning.
Marc:You know, everyone who's been on this show has had that story about me.
Marc:I had Greg Barron on, and he said when I met him in San Francisco the first time, he was kind of buff, and he wore a tight shirt, and he had long hair.
Marc:And apparently I walked up to him, and I said, oh, so you're that guy?
Guest 4:I remember it was a funny night because it was actually started with Janine Garofalo.
Guest 4:Me and Hedberg went out because he had a big crush on you and he was trying to find you at some party.
Guest 4:It's the first time I've ever heard.
Guest 4:Yeah, yeah, he had a big crush on you.
Guest 4:Come here, get on the mic.
Guest 4:Wait, get your knee on the mic.
Guest 1:Are you sure?
Guest 4:Yes, yeah, yeah.
Guest 4:This is probably 96.
Guest 1:Wow, I have never heard that ever.
Guest 4:We're in L.A., and I think we went to a show where he thought you might be doing a set, and then he couldn't find you.
Guest 4:And then we went to, it was the premiere of, what the fuck, Comedy Product.
Guest 1:Oh, God.
Guest 4:Oh, my God.
Guest 4:I did that, didn't I?
Guest 1:Yes.
Guest 4:And it was at Dave Rath's house.
Guest 1:Yes.
Guest 4:And so we went to buy beer to bring to the party, and we couldn't decide what kind of beer to bring.
Guest 4:We were intimidated by what brand we should have.
Guest 4:So we decided to get Meisterbrow, the shittiest beer we could find.
Guest 4:Yeah, yeah.
Guest 4:And we sat out back.
Guest 4:We went to the party and didn't really know anyone.
Guest 4:So we sat out back shotgunning Meisties.
Yeah.
Guest 4:And do we talk?
Guest 4:Just to be completely fucking ridiculous.
Guest 4:And I remember Greg Barrett coming back going, what are you guys drinking Meisterbrow for?
Guest 4:You know, we have good beer.
Guest 4:You don't have to drink that stuff.
Guest 1:So then did we ever interact that night?
Guest 4:No, he never found you.
Guest 4:But I remember the mission started out as him trying to find you because he had a crush on you.
Guest 1:My head is totally blown by that.
Guest 1:I find that to be unbelievably flattering.
Guest 1:That Hedberg had a crush on you?
Guest 1:Yeah, a crush on me.
Guest 1:And I've never heard that ever.
Marc:Didn't everybody have a crush on you at some point?
Guest 1:Not that I would know of.
Marc:Well, I mean, I think if we took a poll, if I was to solicit emails right now of everybody listening to this podcast who had a crush on Janine Garofalo, there would be many.
Guest 1:Well, that's very nice of you to say, but I don't know if that's true.
Guest 1:But we're going to find out now.
Guest 1:Mitch Hedberg, that's a big one.
Guest 1:That's huge.
Guest 1:Was that when he was just going by Mitch?
Guest 1:Only I could build a time machine and go back.
Guest 4:Did he go through a period where he was just Mitch?
Marc:I know you guys were friends for years, but when I did the comedy competition with him in 92 in San Francisco, I think it was just Mitch.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Did you know him then?
Marc:Yeah, I knew him back then.
Marc:Maybe he was.
Marc:I remember he had those headshots that said Hedberg Mitchell.
Marc:I didn't realize you guys were so tight until later.
Guest 4:I'm just thinking of all the people that used to drink.
Guest 4:Brought it up.
Guest 4:You and Greg Berent.
Guest 4:Did you ever try and quit that?
Marc:No, no, I never did.
Marc:So it's working out for you still?
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Not so bad.
Marc:This isn't an intervention.
Guest 4:Yeah, no.
Guest 4:Don't get that look on your face like, what's happening?
Guest 4:I can't imagine.
Guest 4:I fucking hate doing stand-up comedy so much that the thought of doing a sober was just too depressing.
Marc:Well, that's, you know, it's funny.
Marc:I don't know if you ever knew Steve Kravitz, but I, you know, when I was at the comedy store as a doorman, Kravitz used to wander around and back, just loaded, and he'd walk up to you and go, was I on yet?
Marc:And I'd go, yes, Steve.
Marc:He'd go, how was I?
Marc:Steve Kravitz, I remember him.
Marc:So Janine's on mic.
Marc:Garofalo's here.
Marc:Stan Hope's here.
Marc:So I think I wanted to have a conversation about
Marc:Since we all come from the same pedigree of the type of stand-up we want to do, which is freedom of mind, revealing hypocrisy and speaking the truth as we see it.
Guest 1:That sounds incredibly—I don't want to put myself—you're giving me too much credit.
Guest 1:I don't want to lump myself in.
Guest 1:You guys are probably more that way than—
Marc:than I am.
Marc:Well, I'm just trying to get to the common seed.
Marc:What I want to have a conversation about is what drove us into it.
Marc:I mean, what drove you into it?
Marc:I mean, who was your... I don't want to say heroes or whatever, but there is a moment in someone who does stand-up comedy's wife where they're like, fuck, I'm doing that.
Guest 4:Oh, yeah.
Guest 4:You know what?
Guest 4:I remember the catalyst that got me to start was actually Andrew Dice Clay because I was 23 and he was the biggest thing and it was fucking hilarious to me.
Marc:I've sang his praises recently because I saw him recently and I've defended Andrew Dice Clay because I was at the comedy store and I was a doorman there when Dice broke.
Marc:But, like, I hadn't seen him in years, and I wasn't, you know, it was kind of a spectacle, but I never really laughed at his jokes, per se.
Marc:But I saw him recently get on stage.
Marc:He's heavier.
Marc:There's no affectation anymore.
Marc:He doesn't give a fuck.
Marc:And he got on stage and did 40 minutes, and it was fucking hysterical.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah, because...
Marc:And now, because all the device is gone, and it's not about nursery rhymes and sexism per se, is that you start to realize he has some gravitas.
Marc:Despite whatever you may have thought about him, he is a guy.
Marc:He invented whatever the fuck it is that he does up there.
Marc:And he has a very peculiar way of looking at things.
Marc:And after seeing 15 guys that I couldn't even figure out, if I closed my eyes, I wouldn't know the difference between them.
Marc:To see a guy who was a real guy just talk about – he doesn't talk about shit anymore.
Marc:He talks about going to Staples with his kids.
Marc:But he's got a way of doing it that where you like – he's Andrew Dice Clay.
Marc:No matter what you thought of him, he's still a fucking real comic.
Guest 4:Back then when he was at the – the first album came out.
Guest 4:The writer and the thing.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest 4:And I would do him.
Guest 4:I did fraud telemarketing back then.
Guest 4:And I'd do him around the office.
Guest 4:I'd just do Dice.
Guest 4:And the owner had a side band, a cover band as a goof project.
Guest 4:And he said, oh, you should open for my band with that.
Guest 4:That's someone else's material.
Guest 4:But just knowing that I could get a gig if I had material made me sit down and start writing.
Marc:So let me get this straight.
Marc:That was the push.
Marc:Doug Stanhope started as an Andrew Dice Clay impersonator in an office.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest 4:Yeah, basically.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I bet you that's a bit of information that hasn't been revealed.
Marc:Who blew your mind, Janine?
Guest 1:Well, there was a couple of my interest in comedy in general started.
Guest 1:I can remember really clearly I was having a slumber, a birthday slumber party.
Guest 1:And my dad was watching all of us and he ran out of things to do with us.
Guest 1:And he said, there's a Woody Allen movie on.
Guest 1:It was called Take the Money and Run.
Guest 1:And he said, I'll make pizza and you girls watch this.
Guest 1:And I became fascinated by Woody Allen and this comedy and just the absurdity of it.
Guest 1:And then it developed a lifelong love of Woody Allen.
Guest 1:And then, of course, he matured and changed in his life.
Guest 1:His comedy in my taste sort of just mirrored whatever Woody Allen was doing.
Guest 1:And then also SCTV was on when I was a kid, which I always thought was better than Saturday Night Live, but unsung.
Guest 1:And so I was very, very always following that what was going on at Second City.
Guest 1:And then so my idea was to write comedy for a sketch show or do something or work.
Guest 1:I don't know what.
Guest 1:And Letterman came on when I was in high school and I thought I'm going to go to work at the Letterman series.
Guest 1:I want to be a writer and live in New York.
Guest 1:And then by the time I was a junior in college, I thought, I think I'll just start doing stand up.
Guest 1:It'll be just a more immediate way in and something that I'll try to do because I knew I didn't want to get a job job like any other kind of.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:Regular job.
Guest 1:It's the only thing that's ever held my interest ever long term in my life.
Guest 1:I have not been interested ever in anything for more than a couple years at a time But comedy and stand-up and sketch comedy has maintained the same level of interest in my mind for all those years So I and now I couldn't do anything else and not because I mean that in a very artistic way I don't have any marketable skills
Guest 1:I could not possibly fit into an office setting.
Guest 1:I'm quite stupid as a person.
Guest 1:I don't know a lot of things.
Guest 1:I mean, I'm intellectually curious.
Guest 1:That's a plus, I guess.
Guest 1:But I couldn't possibly pick up in an office.
Guest 1:You put me in a job, even a temp job or something.
Guest 1:It's terrifying.
Guest 1:I couldn't possibly learn what those people know.
Marc:I think about it.
Marc:What would I do?
Marc:How do people, more than that, how would you remain appropriate?
Marc:I mean, you know, when I'm in an office, how the fuck, you know, like even when I worked here at Air America, like I talk at this level and I'm like, you fucking cock.
Marc:And then, you know, all of a sudden you've got nine people in cubicles sticking their heads up going, what's going on?
Marc:What do you mean what's going on?
Marc:I'm having a conversation.
Yeah.
Guest 4:Yeah, like when we hang out with our neighbors, we live in a small town in Arizona, and our best friends in town, she's a Safeway deli manager, and he drives a Dorito truck.
Guest 4:And sometimes we'll drink beers with him and watch football and stuff.
Guest 4:There are neighbors in there.
Guest 4:It's kind of funny.
Guest 4:But you find where you'll occasionally say something that would be completely appropriate around comics, and you wouldn't even think of it as... And then you're like, oh, shit, I probably shouldn't have said that.
Marc:I mean, it is their dog, and I just... It's just a way of communicating.
Guest 1:I think that's different.
Guest 1:If you are in, I guess, this line of work, and also you find like-minded people, and you wind up hanging out with like-minded people.
Guest 1:And then when you go home and you...
Guest 1:hang out with your high school friends or or anything like that or even relatives you realize that that is not usually the way people communicate with each other and they also stay away from so many subjects most people feel that it would be in impolite to discuss politics religion real substantive things seem to be off the table all the time for most people so i don't know what they're really discussing i don't think they're discussing seemingly i i think
Guest 1:Probably their families or their kids or school, whatever's going on.
Guest 1:And I'm not saying that in a denigrating way.
Guest 1:I'm not saying, aren't they lesser than?
Guest 1:I'm just saying that it seems to be odd when you do actually confront somebody and say, well, why did you vote that way?
Guest 1:Or, well, why do you think that show's funny?
Guest 1:Exactly.
Guest 1:Something like that seems to be completely off the table for most people.
Marc:Yeah, you've caught them off guard somehow and they're forced to have an opinion, which is not, you know, they don't usually have them.
Guest 4:They don't even know why they have whatever opinion they espouse.
Guest 1:Or they're not drunk.
Guest 1:I mean, if they're drinking with friends, maybe they will be a little more forward about why they like or dislike something or more willing to extend the...
Marc:What I was thinking, when I started, I used to listen to comedy with my brother, comedy records.
Marc:Steve Martin, Cheech and Chong, George Carlin, Richard Pryor.
Marc:And I used to watch comics on TV.
Marc:My parents brought me to see Jackie Vernon when I was 11 years old.
Marc:He was an old guy.
Marc:He used to do the slide show thing.
Marc:I don't know him.
Marc:Yeah, he's hard to sort of find, but his whole bit I thought was hilarious.
Marc:He used to do this thing where he had a fake slide show.
Marc:He had the clicker.
Marc:It's like the vacation.
Marc:Like, this is my life.
Marc:This is my life the next morning.
Marc:All the jokes were set up to these fake slides.
Marc:And I don't know where it got planted in my head that somehow another stand-up comedy was the only place where you could really express yourself however the fuck you wanted, as long as you made people laugh.
Marc:But I think that's what's interesting about the three of us is that we all became, you know, sort of aggressive social commentators.
Marc:And I think that if I'm not mistaken, one of the things we share is some sort of proximity to Bill Hicks in a way that like I knew him a little bit.
Marc:You worked you toured with him.
Guest 1:And also grew up in the same neighborhood, which I didn't know until his memorial service.
Marc:And certainly you have looked at his stuff or have met him.
Marc:Yeah, I didn't get into him until after I started comedy.
Guest 4:Obviously, I'd never heard of him.
Marc:And it got to the point with me where I had to be careful.
Marc:I couldn't watch him.
Marc:Because, you know, I didn't want because I knew we were barking up some more trees.
Marc:And if you're talking about real shit, there's only a few people that talk about it or opinionated shit.
Marc:And I didn't want to be influenced by him.
Marc:Right.
Marc:But it seems like I get I get a lot of emails and, you know, somebody wanted me to tell Hick stories.
Marc:And I had you on the show and I knew that somehow or another, you're part of that legacy.
Marc:What your feelings about him were.
Guest 4:Yeah, I mean, I loved him, but it's one of those things, the more you get the comparisons, and especially when I work so much overseas where it's just relentless.
Guest 4:You want to hate him.
Guest 4:I want to find a flaw in him to just go, fuck that guy.
Marc:Can't we all talk about different, you know what I mean?
Guest 4:Like, why do you got to lump me in with that?
Guest 4:Well, the problem is when you get compared to – because you get press over there.
Guest 4:You don't get that here.
Guest 4:But when you get compared to him so much, people will show up expecting Bill Hicks and then get mad at you for not being enough like Bill Hicks.
Guest 4:So it's kind of a double suck there.
Guest 4:But, yeah, I thought he was great.
Guest 4:Yeah.
Guest 1:You know what can be strange for a lot of people about Bill Hicks is if you didn't see it live, it can be different because I don't think he was ever really captured appropriately on a lot of the footage that some people... There's very few avenues of us to see him now.
Guest 1:There wasn't that much tape on him.
Guest 1:And unfortunately, it's not that indicative of how good he could be.
Guest 1:Because there's a lot of times when you look at it, if you didn't know the legacy of Bill Hicks, you might see something and go, what's all the...
Guest 1:That's what everybody's making a big deal about.
Guest 1:And it's unfortunate because it's hard to convince sometimes now, younger people, how good he actually was if you were there live when he was on.
Guest 1:Because there's also a lot of nights where he was not...
Guest 1:As anyone isn't, but he would really bail halfway or there was years there we went through with, I guess, drinking.
Guest 1:He was experimenting with drinking and stuff.
Guest 1:And then there was a while where he wanted to walk the room, which I don't know if I'm not like all that.
Guest 4:I went through my faces with that earlier.
Guest 4:And how'd that go?
Guest 4:I'm still working.
Guest 4:Were you able to walk rooms intentionally?
Guest 4:Yeah, sure, you try hard enough.
Guest 4:But yeah, I went through periods where, yeah, fuck this.
Guest 4:I'm getting paid the same either way, that kind of mentality.
Guest 4:But yeah, it wore off.
Marc:I've always been like, I've pulled back.
Marc:from being that aggressive on principle, only in the sense that I started to realize with me, I just wanted to see how far I could push people and still bring them back.
Marc:Not necessarily push them all the way out, but if I did push them all the way out, then you try to negotiate with them and try to just...
Marc:change their belief system, which won't change, and then you put yourself in the position to where they're gonna condescend to you afterwards anyways, where you could sit there and fucking be Satan in their face all you want, but they'll come up to you afterwards and go, I'm sorry for your trouble.
Marc:I'm like, how the fuck dare you condescend to me after that?
Guest 1:I would prefer to be well-liked.
Guest 1:Well, I think I would, too.
Guest 1:I would prefer to be well-liked.
Guest 1:When people do leave on my stand-up, believe me, that is not something I wanted, and I will think about it and think about it, because there is a lot of people over the years who their dislike towards me has been particularly vitriolic.
Guest 1:So what is that really about?
Guest 1:Is there an element of misogyny, or is that too easy?
Guest 1:I have no idea if it's gender-related, but they seem to get madder at it.
Guest 1:politically speaking, Margaret Cho, Wanda Sykes, and I seem to take it on the chin a little more than male counterparts who say the same things, if not worse.
Guest 1:Or even if you're going to say in the entertainment business, Viggo Morrison, Tim Robinson, Sean Penn, Sean Penn takes it from Fox, but Viggo Morrison, I doubt has people confront him the way I get confronted or Margaret Cho does at shows by males wanting to get into it.
Guest 1:And I think that's because I think a lot of people are loath to confront people unless they know they can physically take
Guest 1:But deep down, you know what I mean?
Guest 1:Like they feel comfortable with me, but not six foot five Tim Robbins or Viggo Mortensen.
Marc:But people become, you became a symbol though.
Marc:I mean, yeah, there are plenty of people out there that have no fucking idea what you even say or do.
Marc:You just become this symbol of lefty Hollywood to some people.
Marc:They have no idea about who you are.
Marc:So you take a hit for something that's completely out of your control.
Guest 1:But what is that thing they loathe?
Guest 1:You know what I mean?
Guest 1:Because like I said, some of the letters are being emails.
Guest 1:You're an intelligent woman.
Guest 1:No, I don't know.
Guest 1:I don't think that's it.
Guest 1:A, I'm not particularly smart.
Guest 1:We established that earlier.
Guest 1:We'll just stop it.
Guest 1:I'm not being self-deprecating.
Guest 1:That's just the truth.
Guest 1:I can't do math at all.
Guest 1:I can't either.
Guest 1:That doesn't mean you're not smart.
Guest 1:I can't follow simple directions and I get lost in the car all the time.
Guest 1:Having said that, those people would not say that the people they quote unquote loathe are intelligent.
Guest 1:I really don't think they think that.
Guest 1:And I don't know what it is.
Marc:There's something much more visceral or much more.
Marc:Let's get to specifics about being offensive.
Marc:Now, what is it like for you, Doug, in your history on stage?
Marc:What was the most what was taken the most offensive?
Marc:What offended people the most?
Guest 4:it's always strange it seems like overall people seem to get offended at the thing you would you know the most innocuous thing you do I'm doing fucking fist fuck jokes and abortion and Jesus and then you as an aside mention diabetes and someone's like it's not funny if you've ever had to deal with juvenile diabetes like
Guest 4:I wasn't even like a punch.
Guest 4:I just... Exactly.
Guest 4:Yeah, just dribbled out of the corner of my mouth as I was segwaying to something else that I was afraid would be offensively.
Guest 4:Jesus, you know, raping the Pope.
Guest 4:I was in Scotland, and I was just... It was the Fringe Festival, and I was just hosting a show.
Guest 4:It was a late night show that I was just hosting, and I...
Guest 4:said something about ecstasy, and a girl fucking just came apart and screaming that it's not funny her sister had died taking ecstasy, and I was drunk with absolutely no, you know, I don't care how, and I'm like, fuck you, your sister didn't die from ecstasy.
Guest 4:If anything, it was bad ecstasy, you know, because you don't die from pure MDMA unless she was an idiot that danced all night in a tracksuit without drinking water, and her kidneys blew out, but don't blame a decent drug because your sister fucking...
Guest 4:has a shitty dealer or something.
Guest 2:And did that offend her or how'd that go over?
Guest 2:Did that solve everything?
Guest 4:She runs out, you know, crying and so I introduced the next act.
Guest 4:I introduced the next comic and it's Scott Capuro, you know, flamingly gay American comic.
Guest 4:He goes up on stage and I went into the back alley to smoke cigarettes and, uh,
Guest 4:Evidently, she went to the upstairs bar and got two of her big rugby thug friends and said, the American comedian's making fun of my dead sister.
Guest 4:So they came down, jumped up on either side of stage, thinking Scott Capuro, American comedian's on stage.
Guest 4:Wow.
Guest 4:Oh, no.
Guest 4:One of the kids working there ran out the back.
Guest 4:They go, you got to get out of there.
Guest 4:There's two guys down there.
Guest 4:They're trying to kick your ass, but they think Scott Capuro's you.
Guest 4:I guess it took them like 15 minutes, and there were only two women for bouncers to try to get these thugs out of there.
Guest 4:Well, what the fuck happened?
Guest 4:He just, well, Scott Capuro's quick on his feet.
Guest 1:That's more about that.
Guest 4:They made some good funny out of it.
Guest 1:That girl just obviously wanted to make an issue.
Guest 1:First of all, you obviously weren't making any references to her sister.
Guest 1:Secondly, what a niche thing.
Guest 1:So she's fine with every other thing you said.
Guest 1:But then all of a sudden she wants to get involved.
Guest 1:That's just more about her needing to be seen and heard.
Marc:I don't know if that's necessarily true because what happens is that
Marc:When you have a relationship, when you're on stage, if you're good and you're honest, sometimes the wall between stage and them, you're talking directly to them.
Marc:So if it's loaded emotionally, like the one thing that happened, I was doing a show at fucking Largo.
Marc:Did I talk about this on the podcast where I got attacked?
Marc:No.
Marc:At Largo?
Marc:Right.
Marc:The capital of alternative comedy.
Marc:Like the place where it's nothing but sort of precious nerds enjoying smart things.
Marc:And I'm doing this joke that has suicide in it.
Marc:It wasn't about suicide.
Marc:It didn't matter.
Marc:But there is a suicide in the joke.
Marc:A guy goes down at his own hand.
Marc:Right.
Marc:In the joke.
Marc:And it's got nothing to do with suicide.
Marc:And I do the joke.
Marc:And some guy says, don't do jokes about suicide.
Marc:Like in Largo, out loud.
Marc:Like I could hear it was coming from his guts.
Marc:It wasn't like commentary.
Marc:And I go, what?
Marc:He's like, just don't do it.
Marc:Just don't talk about suicide or I'll take you out, bitch.
Yeah.
Guest 1:Wait, I was there.
Guest 1:I'll do the version after he does his.
Marc:All right.
Marc:And so I said, you know, of course, I did what any comic would do.
Marc:I immediately got defensive.
Marc:I said, why'd you just lose somebody?
Marc:And, you know.
Marc:Nan, nan, nan, nan.
Marc:Yeah, right.
Marc:And I said, what do you need this kind of attention from a roomful of people you don't know?
Marc:I'm the guy with the mic.
Marc:You know, what the fuck is your problem?
Marc:And then I got real cocky.
Marc:And after I laid it on him, I said, he's still going to take me out, bitch.
Marc:And he did.
Marc:He leapt out of the audience and stood me off on stage.
Marc:And he clearly wasn't a fighter guy.
Marc:And I was the last act on.
Marc:And I'm not really a fighter guy either.
Marc:But I knew I couldn't run because I'm on stage and that wouldn't look good.
Marc:So in my mind, I'm like, I'm going to have to take the hit.
Marc:And he was going to pick up a music stand, and then they pulled him off of me, and they broke it up, and it got weird.
Guest 1:Dave Rath, actually.
Marc:Right.
Marc:The guy tackled me and ripped my shirt open.
Marc:It was just awkward.
Marc:And Vincent D'Onofrio was in the audience.
Guest 1:So there was moments where I'm like, am I in a movie?
Guest 1:Thank God he always cracks the case, Vincent D'Onofrio.
Marc:And then, like, it turns out, like, you know, it got weird and just a room full of people dispelled and everyone's out in the street.
Marc:And I go outside and Rath is like, you know, just, you know, stay out of his face.
Marc:The guy left.
Marc:And then he comes back around in a car.
Marc:He gets out of his car and people are like, no, just fucking chill.
Marc:And I'm like, no, no, you know, there's enough of you around to watch my back.
Marc:Let him out of the car.
Marc:I'll have an audience with him.
Marc:You know, so...
Marc:So we walked down the street.
Marc:I'm like, what's up?
Marc:He's like, well, you know, my brother, like, you know, he tried to kill himself.
Marc:I'm like, you didn't even do it.
Marc:So this is all.
Marc:But, you know, we made up and whatever.
Marc:It's not a very satisfying ending to the story, but that had nothing to do with anything I was saying.
Marc:It was just a moment that sparked this emotion.
Guest 1:May I intervene?
Guest 1:Yes.
Guest 1:What happened was, and yes, what you're saying is true.
Guest 1:He did not initially say, I will take you out, bitch.
Guest 1:There was an exchange between you two that went on.
Guest 1:What it became is that guy became embarrassed to even say anything out loud.
Guest 1:Then he had to keep it up with Mark.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:He was reticent at best.
Guest 1:He was not a fighter.
Guest 1:He was probably not a guy that even probably meant to say that out loud.
Guest 1:Then Mark's ego was involved.
Guest 1:Then they had to.
Guest 1:Neither one of them wanted it to go where it went.
Guest 1:It had to eventually because they were provoking each other.
Guest 1:That guy reluctantly came towards the stage, but it did get ugly.
Guest 4:Meet me at the bike racks at three.
Guest 4:Now you have to show up.
Guest 1:One of them wanted it to go to where it went, but you antagonized the shit out of that guy.
Guest 1:He would have been quite willing to back down.
Guest 1:You were so mad at him.
Guest 1:I think Mark is much more responsible, and I think the guy never meant for that to pop out of his mouth is don't talk about that.
Guest 4:And no one got this on YouTube?
Guest 1:No, this is before the days of that.
Guest 1:But he would have been quiet, but Mark was so at him and at him and at him.
Guest 1:You were picking at him.
Marc:That's the fun, right, Doug?
Marc:I mean, I guess some people don't understand what fun is anymore on stage.
Guest 1:In fact, you probably said first the take you out or something.
Guest 1:That's not my lingo.
Guest 1:No, no, something like, are you going to take me out?
Guest 1:You mocked him.
Guest 1:Like, neither one of you.
Guest 1:It was both two guys that that's not in their lingo.
Marc:Thanks for reminding me what I used to love about doing stand-up.
Marc:That is exactly it.
Marc:That's what you're talking about.
Marc:The thing you lose when you only play to your people is the possibility of that happening.
Guest 4:Well, that's why I was surprised when you say you get a lot of guys yelling shit at you.
Guest 1:No, no, no.
Guest 1:It's not a lot.
Guest 1:It's definitely politically related, and it is definitely like that astroturfed stuff.
Guest 1:There'll be right-wing bloggers who will tell other right-wingers where I am, and they will say, go and...
Guest 1:harangue her and it'll be just one or two dorks but it will be actually go out of their way to go to your show and pay money yes no no a lot of time well some will pay money but a lot of times they will wait till after the show and and you know by in the when you're leaving or they will find out what hotel i'm staying at
Guest 1:And it's just a handful of people.
Guest 1:But they'll show up with a video camera.
Guest 1:And then there's the fake protest.
Guest 1:They will sometimes call the theater, threaten a protest.
Guest 1:This is over the teabaggers and stuff.
Guest 1:The first teabag thing that happened last April, I went on Obermann to discuss it.
Guest 1:And I pointed out that's just racism.
Guest 1:It's just abject racism.
Guest 1:These 912ers, these teabaggers, these...
Guest 1:Patriot movements one thing they all have in common is they can't stand a black a black guy first and foremost in the White House and That of course kicked off in these in these right-wing worlds Let's go after her again just cuz a I'm an easy target It's a way not to have to deal with issues and it's I am easily physically intimidated as a five-foot-one Person who is usually alone after you know walking back from the show So it'll be like one or two or three dudes with a camera
Guest 1:who will try and play Gotcha, or it'll be sometimes trick morning radio interviews.
Guest 1:Like, they'll go through the club and say, we want to interview Janine for some drive-time show.
Guest 1:Oh, and then they sandbag it.
Guest 1:And then they sandbag, or whatever the version of sandbagging is.
Marc:The interesting thing about, like, what I'm... I guess, I don't know what I'm getting at, really, but that...
Marc:There's a there's a sort of posture when when you are provoking people like, you know, when you are provocative comic and that, you know, you think you're having this this impact that the funny thing about the one Bill Hicks story that I always tell only because you realize that some people it's just if you're not their entertainment option.
Marc:You're not really going to affect them one way or the other.
Marc:They're just not going to quite understand.
Marc:And that really is the worst possible reaction because we want to get through.
Marc:I'd rather them get upset.
Marc:I'd rather them get aggravated than just sit there and go, hmm.
Marc:Yeah, I'm bored.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:This is boring.
Marc:I did a show with Hicks, and I'm telling this because someone emailed me, and I was trying to get around to it somehow.
Marc:Where it was at the Village Gate here in New York years ago when I was just starting out.
Marc:And the structure of the show was they had to host two comics and an improv group.
Marc:And that was the show.
Marc:And Hicks was living here briefly at that time.
Marc:And it didn't matter.
Marc:Both comics did the same amount of time.
Marc:It was just a spot.
Marc:So the comics that night, I've been doing it maybe four or five years.
Marc:Maybe a little longer.
Marc:But it's me and Hicks.
Marc:And he was supposed to go first.
Marc:And I knew in my head, like, no matter what he does, whether it's good or bad, it's going to be, you know, I'm going to walk into a post-hurricane situation.
Marc:And I said to him, I said, Bill, you know, can I go first?
Marc:I mean, you're the guy with the Letterman's.
Marc:I mean, I'm just, you know, can I just go first?
Marc:He's like, no, I've got to meet some guy who's got to play chess.
Marc:And I'm like, oh, okay, as long as it's important.
Guest 4:It's another reason I don't want to quit drinking.
Guest 4:Yeah.
Guest 4:End up rushing out of a gig to go play chess.
Yeah.
Guest 1:It could happen.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Marc:So he goes on, and I'm like, fuck.
Marc:And I go to the bathroom, and I come out maybe four minutes later, and I have no idea what's transpired, but there's about 400 people in this room, and it's pretty packed.
Marc:He's crouched at the edge of the stage, screaming at a woman in the front row, I'm a fucking poet!
Marc:I'm a fucking poet!
Marc:Just fucking furious.
Marc:And there's this silence in the room, and this woman goes, well, tell us a poem.
No.
Marc:And he's just baffled.
Marc:He's dumbfounded.
Marc:And he pops up and he goes, aren't you glad you didn't go first, Maren?
Marc:No matter how intense or how provocative or how much we think we're delivering, there are some people that are just going to be like, I don't understand.
Guest 4:I've had a tendency in my career to do that, to be that kind of a dick.
Guest 4:And it's usually about something I just learned or realized, where other people probably already fucking knew that.
Guest 4:And you know, you ever fucking think...
Guest 4:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest 4:I just fucking figured this out myself.
Guest 4:I just read a fucking Dawkins book.
Marc:Yeah, right.
Guest 4:I never thought of this.
Guest 4:So you're excited and it comes out as being angry.
Guest 4:Yeah, exactly.
Guest 4:Well, it comes out as I fucking thought of this myself and I knew this all along.
Guest 4:Well, I think that's what it is.
Guest 4:You're a bunch of idiots in the seats.
Marc:That's the funny thing about you and just about Hicks, too, is that once you get past that weird kind of bravado, we're all pretty sensitive, nice people.
Marc:And I think that's good.
Marc:Your heart seems to be in the right place.
Marc:And people are always like, you know, that guy's an asshole.
Marc:Who the fuck do you think he is?
Guest 1:Well, it's a lazy assumption.
Guest 1:There's a lot of people who think that Congress are mean.
Guest 1:I don't know why they think that.
Guest 1:But I don't see why they say that.
Guest 4:It's the only art form where the shitty seats go first.
Guest 4:No one wants to be up front.
Marc:Exactly.
Guest 1:Well, I guess there are some comics who do pick on the audience even without being provoked by it.
Guest 1:They like to do it, and the audience seems to love it.
Guest 1:Again, that's not my thing.
Guest 1:I don't particularly care to pick on someone in the audience.
Guest 1:There are people that have irritated the fuck out of me, and we have fought.
Guest 1:But that is not what I want.
Guest 1:I don't feel good about it.
Guest 1:I hate it when people leave.
Guest 1:I hate it when people don't like me.
Guest 1:And if that's ego or insecurity, I don't know what it's like.
Guest 4:I think we all want to be like.
Guest 4:I've done that where people were leaving, walking out of my show, and I'm like, fuck you, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Guest 4:And they're like, we're just going out to smoke.
Guest 4:As the smoking band crept around, like more and more, I'd be yelling at people.
Guest 4:And I, oh, that's right.
Guest 4:Everyone's going out to smoke.
Guest 4:Sorry, man.
Guest 4:Sorry.
Guest 1:It does.
Guest 1:It hurts your feelings, though.
Guest 1:When people are getting up and like, I'll say now, at least leave your, just pretend you're going to the bathroom.
Guest 1:Yeah.
Guest 1:Even if you're leaving, just pretend you're not leaving.
Guest 4:But yeah, smokers have a tendency to leave in groups.
Guest 4:Oh, at this one time where people.
Guest 4:We should go smoke.
Guest 4:Yeah, we should go.
Guest 1:Or at least announce, tell me where you're going.
Guest 1:I'll ask.
Guest 1:I'll say, are you going to the bathroom?
Guest 1:Are you leaving?
Guest 1:Because it hurts my feelings.
Guest 1:And you should never draw that much attention to it, but I can't help it.
Guest 1:It really upsets me to see people getting up and leaving.
Marc:I had a table before I get out, and before I even said, I was like, what?
Marc:That's it?
Marc:You're fucking leaving?
Marc:You had enough?
Marc:You know, like that?
Marc:And they're like, you know, we have a sitter at home.
Marc:And they're like, we like you.
Marc:We enjoyed the show.
Marc:I'm like, oh, okay.
Guest 4:That's fine.
Guest 4:Cell phone cameras.
Guest 4:Now, anytime someone pulls out their fucking cell phone for any reason, I assume they're filming me.
Guest 4:And I've already told you that.
Guest 4:I've tried to write bits a thousand different ways to get people to fucking stop doing that.
Guest 1:They won't do it.
Guest 1:There is no stopping that.
Guest 1:I think it's generational, too.
Guest 1:It's part of the fabric of a young person's culture is to film things, create content about it.
Guest 4:But they think they're helping you by putting shit on YouTube.
Guest 1:And you're like, I can never have a new album.
Guest 4:And then you can't get it off YouTube.
Guest 4:I have fucking...
Guest 4:A bit that's three weeks old, and now I'm playing in Memphis, and you're yelling out the punchlines?
Guest 4:Yeah.
Guest 1:They mean well.
Guest 1:I know.
Guest 1:It is something they think, and like I said, it's generational.
Guest 1:I think it's just part of the way they live now, all of this surveillance and replication, if that's what they call it.
Guest 1:They do it.
Marc:They're in charge of the surveillance.
Marc:It doesn't have to be the government.
Marc:Everyone will do it for them.
Guest 4:They're releasing your new DVD.
Guest 4:It's worse than the stuff.
Guest 4:You don't have any say in it.
Guest 4:And the more that they know you don't want them to film, the more they're getting away with if they film you.
Marc:So, all right.
Marc:So now let's wrap up.
Marc:Thank you all.
Guest 4:It's great talking to you, Doug.
Marc:Finally, we had a conversation.
Marc:Janine.
Marc:Thank you, Mark.
Marc:I think you're going to hang around and we're going to do another show.
Guest 1:Oh, we're doing more?
Guest 1:Oh my God.
Marc:You can't repeat any of it.
Marc:And we taped all of this and it's going up on YouTube.
Guest 1:I have to have a whole new 30 minutes of conversation.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Can you think of it?
Guest 1:I better get my notebook and my pen.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So that's that.
Marc:Is that a good closer?
Guest 1:That's good.
Guest 1:Sounds good.
Marc:You feel good, Doug?
Marc:Yeah, I feel great.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Everyone's good here, Brendan.
Marc:I think we can end this.
Marc:All right.
Marc:That's our show.
Marc:I hope you enjoyed it.
Marc:I really enjoyed having Doug Stanhope here.
Marc:I'm glad we finally got a chance to talk.
Marc:It was very nice of Janine Garofalo to stop by and jump into the conversation.
Marc:I want to thank you all for listening as usual.
Marc:If you want to know anything about comedy,
Marc:In the broad sense of what's going on in the comedy world, go to punchlinemagazine.com.
Marc:They have everything comedy-related that you could want to know.
Marc:Breaking comedy news, old comedy news, interviews.
Marc:They've got the Type 5 video segments with people like Michael in Black, myself, Stephen Wright.
Marc:Punchlinemagazine.com for all your comedy needs.
Marc:Also, please...
Marc:If you will go to WTF pod.com.
Marc:That's where you can get a link to just coffee.coop.
Marc:That's where you can get a link to our merchandise.
Marc:That's where you can get a link to audible podcast.com.
Marc:There you can get a free audio book download at WTF pod.com.
Marc:Just hit the links there.
Marc:And also if you're interested in any of my other work,
Marc:i.e.
Marc:Records.
Marc:You can also get those at Audible, oddly, or you can go to iTunes.
Marc:And I really do appreciate you listening.
Marc:And you can also donate at WTFPod.com.
Marc:Not that I'm pressuring you, but guys got to eat.
Marc:Am I right?