Episode 198 - San Antonio with Lucas Molandes
Marc:Hey folks, Mark Maron here.
Marc:We've got a special show today.
Marc:It's kind of an interesting show.
Marc:It's a road show I did when I was in San Antonio, Texas with my buddy Lucas Melandes.
Marc:We just grabbed the mics and we went out into San Antonio over a couple of days and did some stuff.
Marc:We went to a conjunto music festival.
Marc:We went to the Alamo.
Marc:We talked to homeless prophets.
Marc:It's just sort of a, it's a road trip show and I hope you like it.
Marc:So let's move on into the show again, San Antonio road trip.
Guest:with lucas malandas are we doing this really wait for it are we doing this wait for it pow what the fuck and it's also what the fuck what's wrong with me it's time for wtf what the fuck with mark maron
Marc:All right, so, all right, what the fuckers, this is Mark Maron.
Marc:This is WTF.
Marc:We are in, we're doing that thing what I do in the car.
Marc:Trying to get organized.
Marc:Are you got enough rope there?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Enough line.
Marc:I am in San Antonio, Texas.
Marc:We are both Lucas Melandes and I. Melandes?
Marc:Melandes?
Marc:Melandes.
Marc:Melandes?
Marc:Yeah, that word.
Marc:I like to pronounce it with a little more Latino accent.
Marc:Melandes.
Marc:We're going there, though, I think.
Marc:Yeah, this is it.
Marc:This is what it's about, man.
Marc:We are going to...
Marc:Well, hopefully, you know, if my phone tells me the right direction.
Marc:Oh, shit.
Marc:How come every fucking podcast I do has to have that sound in it?
Marc:All right.
Marc:San Antonio, Texas.
Marc:Let me give you what's going.
Marc:I'll try to lay out what's going on.
Marc:Lucas and I are playing at the LOL Laugh Out Louds.
Marc:Is that how you pluralize that?
Marc:I don't think there's an S. I think it's just Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club.
Marc:Okay, Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club.
Marc:Very clever.
Marc:It's this huge box of a room that actually the colors I don't mind, but the size of it is daunting.
Marc:The ceilings are very high.
Marc:It's like performing in a movie theater.
Marc:And it's got a very strange beaded curtain behind it.
Marc:I can't even explain it.
Marc:It's more like a screen.
Marc:It's very odd design.
Marc:But I have to be honest, it's lighted properly.
Marc:It's lit properly.
Marc:And we look good up there.
Marc:It's just very hard to feel that the place has people in it.
Guest:Right?
Guest:It feels like you're on display like a piece of art that not everybody's going to get.
Marc:Well, you just made it sound like a pleasant experience.
Marc:I guess it was okay last night.
Marc:I'm not sure that we needed to do the chicken fried steak thing at one in the morning.
Marc:That seemed like a good idea before, but...
Marc:What is wrong with my brain?
Marc:And then he ordered, this is the small steak, so they bring out this chicken fried steak the size of a fucking frisbee, covered in white gravy.
Marc:I got the mashed potatoes and the fried okra, which there was no way that was going to be fresh, but I didn't give a shit.
Marc:And then I ordered onion rings on top of it.
Marc:Oh my God, if I burp now, I taste that shit.
Marc:Alright, this is like how many hours later?
Marc:It's 12 hours later and I'm fucked.
Marc:How do you feel about it?
Guest:I feel like I'd been punched in the stomach when I woke up.
Marc:Yeah, but do you ever get that feeling like, well, maybe this is just, this is including breakfast.
Marc:Like when you eat at that hour, it's like breakfast is covered.
Guest:Yeah, no, my stomach is still weak.
Guest:I feel like I, I don't know, like I'm recovering from the flu at this point.
Guest:Oh boy, that's bad.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So it wasn't a good experience for you.
Guest:No, I really enjoyed it.
Guest:I mean, I didn't realize I was still eating it as I was eating it.
Guest:And I didn't realize I had only like a third of it.
Guest:Only a third of the chicken fried steak frisbee?
Guest:Yeah, it was a yard of meat.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Well, I'd like to say that both Lucas and I are not carrying guns.
Marc:We are in San Antonio.
Marc:I feel like we should be carrying guns.
Marc:There was a gentleman at the show last night who had a cowboy hat.
Marc:Turns out he was in the Army.
Marc:That was a pretty good riff experience.
Marc:We got a lot out of him.
Marc:I found out, you know, he was in the army.
Marc:He was not a real cowboy.
Marc:He was just dating that woman.
Marc:His grandmother was from Korea.
Marc:He'd been to Iraq twice, in Georgia once, and he was at the airport in Ireland briefly.
Marc:That's a lot to learn when you're on stage.
Marc:Just from a cowboy hat.
Marc:Yeah, and I think we did all right with it.
Marc:But the agenda today, in an effort to get out and be amongst the people, to be people of the people, I thought it would be a good idea to go to the Tejano Cajunto Festival,
Marc:Which is, today we got free passes from my buddy Hector.
Marc:It's always good to have a guy named Hector who will give you free passes to a Tejano Cajunto Festival.
Marc:Is that how you say it?
Marc:Cajunto?
Marc:Cajunto.
Marc:Cajunto.
Marc:I think so.
Marc:It's that music.
Marc:It's that music that I grew up with.
Marc:Not even being Latino.
Marc:I grew up in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Marc:And my brother's old car, the Oldsmobile, only had an AM radio in it.
Marc:And sometimes I would drive it around because as I got older it was that car that was left...
Marc:You know, I'd have the family.
Marc:Sometimes there's a car that no one drives anymore, except it's there if you need it.
Marc:Have you ever had that?
Guest:Yeah, the one that may not start.
Marc:Right, that one.
Marc:That was my brother's old car.
Marc:It was this piece of shit.
Marc:But, like, I'd come home from wherever, college or when I was living out in Boston or whatever, and that car would be available to me, and all it had was that AM radio in it.
Marc:And there was always at least two stations that you would cross over.
Marc:You'd be rolling that dial, and it'd lock in and just...
Marc:blast out accordions.
Marc:And it was always very refreshing.
Marc:There were times where I would only listen to that music when I was in New Mexico because it makes you feel good.
Marc:Now, I don't know much about it.
Marc:I know it's traditional to southwestern states.
Marc:It comes up from Mexico as a mixture between some traditional Mexican music and some of the influence that European settlers brought here vis-a-vis Germany.
Marc:And I know there's some other settlers.
Marc:I'm not clear on the history of this, and I've discussed this on the podcast before, but they infuse that polka and that accordion.
Marc:And I don't know if it's a thing or what.
Marc:I don't know what we're getting into.
Marc:Of course, there's that bit of racially biased nervousness.
Marc:That I experience?
Guest:I'm experiencing it too, because I don't ever, I kind of walk the line between both ethnicities.
Guest:I'm half white, half Mexican, but I've never committed to either one.
Guest:I know, but you look kind of Mexican-y.
Guest:But that's where they will uncover, like, then I'm really not one of their own.
Guest:When they find out that I don't know what I'm talking about.
Marc:Yeah, I can understand that happening.
Marc:But I mean, but you're not, you're not, you're sort of, you look kind of like a 1974 Mexican.
Marc:Yeah, I've gotten to Freddie Prinze Sr.
Marc:before.
Marc:Yeah, Freddie Prinze, that's good.
Marc:That's good.
Marc:That's sort of where we're headed.
Marc:So, well, I mean, you can, I'm wearing my gay shorts.
Marc:The jorts?
Marc:Well, they're these Levi cutoffs that I actually bought cut off.
Marc:Are you having a hard time driving?
Marc:I'm all right.
Marc:I mean, it's not worth dying for.
Marc:I believe in this cause, though.
Marc:All right, you grew up in Texas?
Guest:I grew up in Austin, yeah.
Guest:Okay, so that's like a different country.
Guest:Pretty much, yeah.
Guest:Once you leave that area, you kind of leave the bubble and you realize you're not inoculated.
Marc:I've called Austin a hipster Alamo.
Marc:There's a bunch of hipsters there defending Austin from the rest of Texas.
Guest:Yeah, I can see that.
Guest:And then there's also the old hippies that live there that just want to play frolf.
Guest:Frolf?
Guest:Frisbee golf.
Guest:No, they don't.
Guest:Yeah, Austin is one of the biggest frolf meccas.
Guest:Austin is a frolf mecca?
Marc:I believe so, yeah.
Marc:That's the first time I've heard both of those things.
Marc:It's the first time I've ever heard a frolf.
Marc:That's the first time I've ever said that.
Marc:It's one of those things we keep to our own.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Why am I condescending Frolf?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:It sounds like a Muppet.
Marc:It sounds like a lot of things, none of them good.
Marc:It sounds like some sort of wizard adjunct in a science fiction movie.
Marc:Frolf.
Marc:We have to go speak to Frolf.
Marc:The High Lord Frolf?
Marc:Right.
Marc:Well, he's not a High Lord.
Marc:He's like a Yoda or some sort of... He keeps his eye in a jar.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:He's a secondary mystical being.
Marc:The Frolf.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know, you have to bring something for Frolf to eat, or he may eat you, that kind of thing.
Marc:He's not a benevolent wizard force, but maybe more of an elf.
Marc:Which one are we doing?
Marc:Oh, we're going, we're staying on 410.
Marc:Wait, shit, wait, ah, shit.
Marc:Now we're not.
Marc:We're on the 10, though.
Marc:We are?
Marc:Oh, no, we're good.
Marc:I-10 East.
Guest:East?
Marc:Okay, perfect.
Marc:Oh, that worked out.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Goddamn, these roads here are ridiculous.
Marc:There's more freeway layering.
Marc:I mean, who put all this money into making it confusing?
Marc:I mean, I've lived in huge cities, and I've never seen anything like this.
Marc:Just complete spaghetti everywhere.
Guest:Bridges upon bridges of freeway madness.
Guest:I think it was they didn't expect Italian to have an explosion in size, and that's not a fat joke.
Guest:Well, God, what about that?
Marc:What about the fat situation here in San Antonio?
Marc:And the dumb situation.
Marc:Well, we discussed that last night.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Perhaps that doesn't make acceptance for immigrants who may not know the language and they're not dumb.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:They just don't know.
Marc:So I don't know if that, but the fat thing is definitely out of control.
Marc:Hey, look, another mall.
Marc:Well, anyways, I'm very excited to go to this thing.
Marc:I don't know if we'll be able to bring the recorder in.
Marc:I'll try.
Marc:They're going to think you're bootlegging some conjunto music.
Marc:That's what I'm thinking.
Marc:But maybe if we say that the force of Frolf is with us.
Marc:We'll be able to pull it off.
Marc:But I'm fascinated with conjunto music to the point where I think I've talked about it twice on this fucking podcast.
Marc:And I don't know anything about it.
Marc:Maybe we can learn something about it while we're there.
Marc:But I'm not getting the sense that this is going to be a historical outing.
Marc:I get the sense that it's going to be some sort of retro Latino fucking block party.
Marc:Are there hipsters in that community?
Marc:I do believe that there are Latino hipsters in the conjunto community.
Marc:That's what I'm gleaning.
Marc:How do we figure out which ones those are?
Marc:I'm thinking there's going to be some white beater tees, some severely greased back hair, maybe some fedoras, some chino action, a lot of chinos.
Marc:You know, the pants?
Guest:Yeah, a lot of pachucos, the guys who sit in the chair, on the lawn chair.
Marc:Right, but I'm thinking younger versions.
Marc:Young version of pachucos.
Marc:Let's go to Cooper's Barbecue today.
Marc:Are we heading towards, uh... That I don't know.
Marc:New Van Buelis, or whatever it's called.
Marc:I have to check the runes when we go frolfing.
Marc:Are we throwing the runes?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Let's wait till we get to frolf.
Marc:Did we bring anything for him to eat?
Marc:Uh...
Marc:Maybe we should get barbecue and bring it to Frolf and then throw the runes with him to figure out where the barbecue place is.
Marc:The eight-sided dice.
Marc:But then we're going to know where the barbecue place is.
Marc:Look, we're going to the Rosedale Park to the Conjunto Festival.
Marc:Hopefully everything will be all right.
Marc:Thank you, Hector.
Marc:Gracias, Hector, for the free passes essay.
Marc:Can I say that?
Marc:Is that racist?
Guest:Yeah, I know.
Guest:You're with me.
Guest:You're cool.
All right.
Good.
Marc:Hey, I don't mean to interrupt, but I just wanted to tell you the music you're hearing on this episode is by the Bolero Brothers.
Marc:You can check them out on Facebook or catch them at Mr. Villa Mexican Restaurant in Seattle every second and fourth Monday of the month.
Marc:That's the Bolero Brothers, and we thank them for letting us use their music for this episode.
Marc:All right, so dude, we're in it.
Marc:We just got off at Calubra Ave, whatever that means.
Marc:I don't think, I'm not nervous.
Marc:It's not racist to be excited in a nervous way about being in another ethnic community, right?
Marc:Bro?
Marc:Well, I mean, you want to keep it real so that people... Yeah, but you're all brown and shit.
Marc:How am I going to keep it real?
Marc:I'm only going to look like the guy who is like, hey, what's up, man?
Marc:I really enjoy your culture.
Guest:Yeah, you're more gawking at it.
Guest:No, I'm not gawking at it.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Maybe I'm starting to feel the history coming up through me, and I'm kind of... You're tapping into the Sangre de Chicano?
Guest:Yeah, I saw a lot of these guys wearing the jean shorts a second ago.
Guest:Oh, that means uncool.
Guest:Yeah, you're trying to...
Guest:What does it take our culture?
Guest:You're trying to annex that lifestyle into yours.
Guest:Right, I'm Paul Simon-ing it.
Guest:Yeah, and I think you reek of, they're going to smell over the face meat, they're going to smell your attempts to ingratiate.
Marc:Look, pinatas.
Marc:You can get pinatas and confetti eggs right there.
Marc:Maybe we can go to a botanica and get some candles.
Marc:And barbacoa?
Marc:Yeah, whatever that is.
Marc:Cut up menudo.
Marc:Oh, dude, we're in it.
Marc:I like handmade signs.
Marc:Look at that.
Marc:Is that parliament?
Guest:Miracoles de Jueves.
Guest:Oh, boy, dude.
Guest:It's that poor woman.
Guest:Handmade tamales, dude.
Guest:It's a whole shack of them.
Guest:You know what, man?
Guest:Like, after a Catholic church, my parents would buy, they would have these bazaars, and they would sell tamales.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And my parents bought a bunch one time, and I was really hungry, so I made like seven.
Guest:I put them on the plate.
Guest:The first one I bit into, first bite,
Guest:I bit into something hard.
Guest:It was a tooth.
Guest:No!
Guest:Swear to God.
Guest:They take, that's the first time, and I was like, I found a tooth in my tamale, and I found out they put the face meat, the hog's face, into the grinder, like the traditional families will do these, and they'll sell them.
Guest:There's no health codes for them, so.
Marc:Oh, man.
Marc:So is that... I guess there's two ways to look at that.
Marc:Disgusting or good luck.
Marc:Authentic.
Marc:Did you keep that tooth?
Marc:Is it on your keychain?
Guest:I wore it on a necklace for a while.
Guest:That's it, S.A.
Guest:That's how you get into Six Flags in the summer.
Guest:In San Antonio.
Guest:To Molly Hogstooth?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:The High Lord Frolf likes to, or the Benevolent Frolf loves the... The Benevolent Frolf of Six Flags, unlike his evil brother.
Guest:Whenever I go LARPing, it really kicks in.
Guest:Are you from... Never mind.
Guest:LARPing?
Guest:LARPing.
Guest:Live-action role-playing.
Marc:Oh, no.
Marc:Dude, let's pull back from the fucking fantasy world.
Marc:We are in the barrio.
Guest:I'm going to drop you off at Smiley's house and leave you there like training day.
Guest:No, dude.
Guest:That's what it's felt like hanging out with Mark all week.
Guest:Or this past couple of days.
Guest:Training day.
Guest:Oh, come on.
Marc:You're telling me.
Marc:Oh, turn left on Texas.
Marc:Turn left.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Now my map went away.
Marc:This fucking program is shitty.
Guest:Even the maps don't want to work out here.
Guest:Oh, Jesus Christ, I shouldn't have said that, sorry.
Guest:Wait, here?
Marc:Oh, man, it's all fucked up, dude.
Marc:All right, should we turn around?
Marc:I don't know where we are.
Marc:What does this say?
Marc:I'm going to turn around.
Guest:I feel it.
Guest:I can feel the blood of my people telling me which way to go, like the Call of the Wild.
Marc:I know what's going to happen.
Marc:We're going to get there, and you're going to be like, you know, I didn't bring the gringo.
Guest:I'll have a bandana on in 10 minutes in a, like, leather fringe.
Guest:Don't take me to Smiley's house, man.
Guest:Don't worry, this area's been gentrified, I think.
Guest:I never had my shit pushed in.
I'll take it in.
Marc:I don't think I need to have that conversation.
Guest:Do you still have that little girl's wallet that you saved?
Guest:I hope so.
Marc:Because, man, I'm going to end up in a bathtub with a shotgun in my face.
Marc:I better have the kid's wallet or I'm fucked.
Marc:Oh, God.
Marc:That was actually, I think, in Echo Park in Los Angeles.
Marc:Oh, nice.
Marc:It's right down the street from me.
Marc:Whoa.
Marc:Yeah, these roads are a little sketchy.
Marc:Yeah, well, why don't they fix them?
Marc:Because this is where the poor people live.
Marc:Is there any justice?
Marc:No.
Marc:I just hope that, like, as we approach this, we hear those fucking accordions and shit.
Marc:Can we have a safe word for today?
Marc:What?
Marc:Like, let's get the fuck out of here?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Just you running off.
Marc:Oh, there it is.
Marc:Right, take a left.
Marc:Oh, yeah, sweet.
Marc:There's a little hand-painted sign that says Tejano Conjunto Festival.
Marc:Ah, fuck, dude.
Marc:I'm excited.
Marc:We're going to have to switch to handheld.
Marc:Oh, come on.
Marc:Take it easy, man.
Marc:It's an all-day event.
Marc:I'm in a hurry to get to hear the ba-ba-ba-ba.
Guest:Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:This is it.
Marc:All day of that, Lucas.
Marc:How do you feel?
Marc:Is something going on inside of you?
Guest:Yeah, there's a part of me that's afraid to talk because, and this is something I've wrestled with, I don't go to authentic Mexican restaurants very often because I don't have good pronunciation.
Marc:What do you mean?
Guest:If I order something, I have to point to it on the menu.
Guest:Because if I try to say, the other night we had the poblano pepper, the reyano, I don't know how to say it still, reyano.
Guest:And I just, I don't like being shunned.
Guest:Shunned?
Guest:You think you're being shunned?
Guest:Yeah, I just feel like I stick out like a sore thumb.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And like where I grew up, I was a small, predominantly white town, so there was no reason to learn Spanish.
Guest:And I kind of regret it now, but not at this moment specifically, but just in general as an adult.
Marc:It'd be nice.
Marc:Do you find anything enchanting about this music?
Marc:I'm not saying as a Mexican, but I don't know why it resonates with me.
Marc:It always seems so uplifting.
Guest:There's no pretension to it.
Guest:It's just music for the sake of expressing yourself.
Guest:You can't be pretentious when you're holding an accordion, I don't think.
Guest:You know, I think that there are some white people that could figure out a way.
Marc:Maybe Weird Al.
Marc:But he seems like a good guy.
Marc:No, he's not pretentious.
Marc:But I'm sure that... I don't know.
Marc:We'll keep our... Look at this, man.
Marc:I'm so fucking glad we did this.
Marc:I never do this.
Marc:And this doesn't feel menacing at all.
Guest:No, it feels like community.
Guest:It feels like... If there was the apocalypse tomorrow and this was all that survived, this would be all right with me.
Marc:I'd imagine I'd get tired of the music eventually.
Marc:They'd want to mix it up a little bit.
Marc:I wouldn't be able to stop myself from saying, dude, let's lose the polka beat and swing it a little bit.
Guest:That's when you would get ostracized by the community.
Guest:You'd be outside the fence.
Marc:He's the outsider, the one that wanted to break into a 4-4 beat and play some blues.
Marc:I really wish that I understood the language at least a little bit.
Guest:Maybe it's one of those things where it's more pretty because you don't.
Guest:I mean, it's a romance language, right?
Marc:Yeah, in my mind, they're just saying, I love you.
Marc:Why'd you leave?
Marc:Let's dance.
Marc:You're mean to me, but I still love you.
Guest:If you could have your act translated into Spanish, it would probably be a very heartfelt... I would love to have my act translated into Spanish.
Marc:Look at all this food they got.
Marc:They got the standard funnel cakes, gorditas.
Marc:That's not standard.
Marc:Sausage tacos.
Marc:Not familiar with that.
Marc:Corn on the cob I like.
Marc:Mini tacos.
Marc:Is there any tamales?
Marc:Mini fajitas.
Marc:I thought, oh, turkey legs.
Marc:That's a fucking turkey leg.
Guest:This is a very grassroots feel to it, too.
Guest:Everything looks like it's been handmade.
Marc:I just bought my buddy Brendan's baby a gift.
Marc:It's weird when a friend of yours has a baby and all of a sudden you feel like, I'm going to buy baby presents.
Marc:This is just the opening band.
Marc:I think there's going to be like 10 bands today.
Marc:There's some people polka-ing.
Guest:I was expecting also like the mariachi style.
Guest:I don't know if that's in line with this.
Marc:I think it's a little different, isn't it?
Marc:I mean, it's sort of similar, but there's a little more swing to this or something.
Marc:I wish I knew more about it.
Marc:Maybe a...
Marc:I wonder if there's somebody we could speak to.
Marc:I bet you that guy over by the books would know more about it.
Marc:The guy that we just bought it from?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, he probably would.
Guest:Also, one thing I noticed, a guy touched me a while ago, and I was wondering, you saw the shirt that said Ojo?
Guest:Yeah, the evil eye.
Guest:You know about that?
Guest:No.
Guest:If somebody looks at a baby and they stare at them for too long, they have to touch the baby because they feel like it steals the spirit of the child.
Guest:I'm not making that up.
Guest:So I should buy the kid that shirt, too.
Guest:Yeah, and then any time you see an older person touching a baby, it's because of that.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Not because it likes the baby, but because it doesn't want to steal the baby's soul?
Guest:I think it's that.
Guest:I mean, you can correct me.
Guest:I mean, people can correct it, but I think that's what it is.
Guest:I mean, I'm not too familiar with it, but that's what I've heard.
Marc:We should talk to some people that know what the fuck they're talking about.
Guest:Yeah, maybe, yeah.
Guest:Shouldn't we?
Guest:Yeah, and it's weird, too, because I don't want to feel like we're gawking at that world, but... I grew up with this, man.
Marc:I'm legit.
Marc:Well, my dad's wife's Latino, bro.
Marc:Wait, when was that?
Guest:Did you just call me bro?
Marc:Yeah, I see.
Guest:Yeah, I am going to dissim myself.
Guest:All right, Vato.
Marc:Yeah, right on, bro.
Marc:I grew up in the Northwest Valley of Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Marc:I have some creds.
Marc:But yeah, my mom, my stepmother's Latino.
Guest:What is that defined by in that culture?
Guest:Is that more of an art?
Guest:Community or is that in Mexico?
Marc:No, it's like this.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:I mean, it's not quite as Texan, obviously.
Marc:There seems to be a little bit of difference in, you know, a lot of lowrider culture.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Do you get that here?
Guest:I believe so, but that's like there's a distance between this and the lowrider culture.
Guest:I don't think lowrider culture would come to this.
Marc:No, their parents would.
Guest:Yeah, their parents would, yeah.
Guest:You have to learn to appreciate this kind of stuff.
Marc:But you grew up with it.
Marc:It's sort of like when you grew up in a, like I imagine some people here, their parents grew up listening to George Jones and Tammy Wynette, and now they listen to you.
Marc:Yeah, my dad.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Waylon Jennings and all those guys.
Marc:But the second generation country, they're like, that's my dad's music.
Marc:But then the hipster generation is like, that's the good shit.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, I'm surprised there aren't more hipsters here.
Guest:They'll come.
Guest:Yeah, with the food here, I'm sure.
Marc:God, I wonder if we could find somebody to talk to us a bit about the music.
Marc:A lot of cowboy hats, dude.
Marc:We're going to go look for an interview.
Guest:So your name is Juan?
Guest:Juan Tejeda, that's right.
Guest:Now tell me a little bit about this Tejano Conjunto Festival here in San Antonio.
Guest:Well, we're celebrating the 30th anniversary of the Tejano Conjunto Festival here in San Antonio.
Guest:And this year...
Guest:We have about five, six days of different activities.
Guest:We started with a senior's Conjunto dance, a workshop that we presented the new Roland Digital Accordion, and then a Conjunto Music Hall of Fame night, celebrating 30 years of inductees into the Conjunto Music Hall of Fame, Thursday at the Guadalupe Theater, and then three days here at Rosedale Park with 25 of the best Conjunto bands.
Marc:That's amazing.
Marc:Now, what is the history of Conjunto?
Marc:Because I find it enchanting and it moves me.
Marc:I don't understand Spanish, but the sound of it is so unique.
Marc:How did it evolve?
Guest:Well, actually, it was a synthesis of the German-European...
Guest:button accordion, the diatonic accordion, when the German settlers came over here to Texas and Northern Mexico, brought the squeeze box with them.
Guest:The Mexicans, like the Sano, the Polka was sweeping the world in the mid to late 1800s, and that Polka came from Poland with the German settlers, and we adopted the German
Guest:uh but an accordion and then when we combined it with a spanish mexican bajo sexto guitar which is a 12 string bass rhythm guitar that was the beginning of a new original american musical ensemble and style of music that we created here the mexicans in texas that we now call conjunto music and conjunto means what exactly conjunto just um in spanish just means band or group
Guest:But here in South Texas and throughout other parts, conjunto has come to be associated with the button accordion, conjunto music.
Guest:So you can say I play in a conjunto band, and we understand that it's a button accordion band, or I play conjunto music, right?
Guest:So it's a style in the band also.
Marc:Now, what is this social, the community outreach that you're doing?
Marc:It seems that there's a lot of high school kids and you're talking about college and about community functions.
Marc:What is the organization that you do?
Guest:Well, every year, you know, since I've coordinated the festival there, I always included a student recital of Con Junto Music because we've offered classes in accordion and bago sexto.
Guest:And now we have various programs here in San Antonio, in the valley.
Guest:I started the first Conunto Music program at the college, university level in the nation, right here on the south side of San Antonio at Palo Alto College, where I teach.
Guest:I'm a professor of music in Mexican American Studies.
Guest:And we present these students, some as young as six, seven years old, that are studying accordion here in recital at the Tejano Conunto Festival from all parts.
Marc:That's great.
Marc:And the music's popularity is still strong.
Guest:The music has always been a very important part of our culture and very, very strong amongst our people.
Guest:And now with the classes, I think, and reaching out to the young folks, because it used to be a very much maligned music.
Guest:And the accordion in general is a much maligned instrument, man.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So we've been changing that little by little, especially amongst our young people.
Guest:Now it's becoming cool to play accordion.
Guest:You can play anything on that screen.
Guest:You can play rock and roll, you can play blues, you can play country, and you can.
Guest:So we've been changing the attitudes over these last 30 years about our music.
Marc:Well, that's a hell of a project to reinvent and re-engage the world with the accordion.
Guest:Absolutely, man.
Guest:The world, I think, is just beginning, really, to take notice of our music.
Guest:Again, it's a fusion.
Guest:It's a synthesis.
Guest:It's like jazz.
Marc:It's completely original American music.
Marc:It is.
Guest:It's completely original American music and style.
Guest:And we integrate various international influences, you know, the Colombian cumbia, the Cuban bolero, which are very much a part of our repertoire, the polka from the Polish drumming people.
Guest:And we do now...
Guest:reggae, conjunto, rap.
Guest:You know, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:We're combining with jazz, blues, country.
Guest:We throw it all out there.
Marc:That's awesome, man.
Marc:Thanks for talking to me, Juan.
Marc:Thank you, appreciate it.
Marc:Great time here at the park today.
Marc:Nice to meet you, man.
Marc:Likewise.
Marc:Want to get some barbecue, Lucas, or what?
Guest:Yeah, I'm down for some barbecue.
Guest:I think there's a lot of great food here, too, but... I just had a fucking brisket taco, dude.
Guest:Yeah, and some corn.
Guest:We had some... Yeah, corn on the cob.
Marc:Oh, man, I mean... I don't know, I gotta... I hear that Cooper's Barbecue is the place to go.
Marc:But don't you get that thing where you're at a band thing like this, and you're like, but maybe this band's gonna fucking...
Guest:Well, the last guy was like Hendrix on the accordion.
Marc:I think he was fucking jammed.
Marc:He really made it his own, man.
Marc:And he's like 17.
Guest:How old is he?
Marc:I think he was like 17 or 18 years old, and his dad was playing the bass.
Guest:I love seeing people who just love what they do.
Guest:Look at the size of that guy.
Marc:The accordion looks like a fucking candy bar.
Guest:Yeah, it's like Darth Vader's chess box.
Guest:It's huge.
Marc:That was cool, man.
Guest:Yeah, that was a lot of good cultural fun.
Marc:I feel like I was being really racist.
Marc:Just by being there?
Marc:No, coming down here and making all these judgments.
Marc:I mean, it's sort of a small subculture that represents a community.
Marc:Is this Calubra?
Marc:No.
Marc:Next one.
Marc:But, you know, it's sort of an esoteric...
Marc:undertaking of the guy it's like uh even within the latino community here it's a small event and and that type of music only it's sort of old-timey and it's not that cool uh and uh to me i it just it really brings back these moments of my childhood of this living in new mexico in that car but just the sound of it i started i teared up i don't even know what it is about the sort of uh
Marc:in the sound of the vocals and the music when it's a slow number, like a waltzy kind of number.
Guest:There's definitely like an innocence to it.
Guest:You know, my grandparents on my mom's side were...
Guest:the Mexicans they came from Mexico and so I wasn't aware of it growing up in the town I grew up in but when I visited them their world was completely different but it just felt sort of like a part of because it was my mom's side so I kind of got a better idea of who she was but I was a kid and I didn't understand that now I hear it and it brings back the nostalgia of that it does right?
Guest:I don't want to call it simpler but for me it was a simpler time so it brings back a simpler time
Marc:yeah with me it's like I think that whatever my own cultural identity is whenever I'm around a cultural event that that is so defined and has its own style and sound and you know people dressing a certain way I always envy the unity of it I don't feel like I ever had that I mean you don't go to temple when your kid is a Jew and go man this this is great
Marc:Boy, am I happy to be part of this.
Guest:Yeah, I'm really experiencing a part of my life I'm going to look fondly back on.
Marc:Well, I mean, I'm connected to it, you know, but it's not unlike this situation.
Marc:I don't understand the language.
Marc:But I'll tell you, the music is not as fun at synagogue.
Marc:The 13-year-old singing doesn't do it?
Marc:No, but there's also even cultural events with the... It's sort of... Kind of a kitschy quality?
Marc:It's a lot of Z's.
Marc:In my mind.
Marc:But I guess that's, I guess for some reason it just didn't lock in.
Marc:Unlike Conjunto music.
Marc:Maybe if they did some sort of, you know, Conjunto Havanaghila, which I'm sure has been done.
Marc:Yeah, I'm sure that's been, uh... It's probably hacked by now.
Marc:with all those mexican jews yeah the conversos the uh the uh the the the latinos that found out that yeah 400 years later that they're actually jewish hey i'm not alienated enough yeah some jew on the hop of that well no did you know about them no oh pretty fascinating the ones that were the jews that were exiled during the inquisition they came up through uh south america and through mexico and they settled in you know
Guest:Wait a second, and I'm not making a joke about what you just said, but I heard that people who have Z's at the end of their name come from that heritage.
Marc:Maybe, but what they found was these smaller churches in New Mexico that had integrated sort of Sabbath candle lighting ceremonies, and they had no idea.
Marc:It was just some sort of unique take on Catholicism or some ritual that they didn't have a history to, but it turns out that many of them, their heritage was that they come from a family
Marc:that ran away from the Inquisition, a Spanish Jewish family.
Marc:I didn't know that.
Marc:Yeah, it's pretty interesting.
Marc:My facts are probably fucked, but I'm glad we got some clarity on the conjunto stuff.
Marc:So now we're going to go to this barbecue place.
Marc:I think it's worth the trip, man, to shove fucking meat in our face after I just ate a brisket.
Guest:Yeah, I'm going to go into a meat coma shortly after eating, which will be good for the show, which starts about an hour after we get back.
Marc:No, I think we can get there by 4, maybe shovel some shit into our face by 4.30 and be back by 5, 5.30.
Marc:That'll give us like a couple hours.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:The process to meet.
Marc:Can I sleep on your extra bed?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You can for a little while.
Marc:Then I gotta leave.
Marc:Yeah, not all night, though.
Marc:I just can't.
Marc:I hear you breathing over there.
Marc:It fucks me up.
Marc:It's nothing personal.
Guest:I'll just hang out in the lobby again.
Marc:That's better.
Marc:You're always making me hang out in the lobby.
Marc:Yeah, maybe if you can nap in the lobby.
Guest:That'd be more appropriate.
Guest:Alright.
Guest:Back in the car.
Guest:Dude, I don't know about whatever happened last night.
Guest:The food?
Guest:The massacre?
Guest:I've never seen anything like that in my life.
Guest:You know, in alien movies when they find the eggs, they're pulsating and undulating.
Guest:It had a similar look to it.
Marc:Yeah, it was fucking horrendous.
Marc:After the barbecue, we go... The barbecue, first of all, I didn't realize...
Marc:when i from from where i was standing when we came into the barbecue place to when he opened up the pit and he gave us a choice of meat as you know i knew i wanted one of those pork chops and then you know we wanted some brisket so he put the knife down he said this much and i'm like nah a little more but i had no perspective and then we get to the table and that pork chop
Marc:It must have been like five pounds.
Marc:Is that possible?
Marc:It got bigger from the time they gave it to us.
Marc:And the brisket was, like, that was so good, though.
Marc:I mean, I wish I'd gotten more brisket, but the pork chop was challenging.
Marc:Free beans, that was a good deal.
Marc:Yeah, a little bit of, they had a lot of free sides.
Marc:Bread, that was good.
Marc:I think it was just a classic case of eyes bigger than your stomach.
Marc:I don't know, man.
Marc:I just never, if a barbecue guy says here, just say yeah.
Marc:Don't go no more.
Marc:You've got to trust the barbecue man.
Marc:I think that's what we learned yesterday.
Marc:I haven't gone to the bathroom yet, and after the... I don't know if I should bring that up, but look.
Marc:So then last night we do the shows, and we go to this place, Chachos and Cholucci's.
Marc:Cholucci's, yeah.
Marc:And it's this huge fucking place.
Marc:It's a Mexican slash Italian idea.
Marc:It seems to be incomplete in its structure.
Marc:It's a two-story thing, and they have a playground for grown-ups?
Guest:It's a playscape for adults.
Guest:Is that how they're marketing it?
Guest:Yeah, they give you margaritas and then send you off into this playscape.
Marc:I don't know, man, but Jay asked me, do you want nachos?
Marc:I'm like, I might eat a few.
Marc:I'm not that hungry.
Marc:And then all of a sudden, I got a taco.
Marc:We all go sit down.
Marc:There's how many of us?
Marc:Six?
Marc:About six, yeah.
Marc:And about 20 minutes later, he brings out this mound of nachos that was the size of a tire.
Marc:Yeah, it was bigger than a wedding cake.
Marc:It was horrendous.
Marc:It was fucking two in the morning, man.
Guest:I picked it up.
Guest:It was at least 15 pounds if it was a pound.
Marc:I felt so fucked up last night, and I don't get fucked up, you know?
Marc:And now, like, there I was in my hotel room, tossing and turning with a face full of Mexican nacho disaster.
Marc:I mean, it was, you know, look, it's just a late-night place in a certain neighborhood.
Marc:I don't think we need to judge it, but all I know is that
Marc:You know what the fucked up thing about those nachos was?
Marc:It was like, one side had white cheese, the other side had yellow cheese, there was shredded chicken, there was chicken fajitas, there was meat fajitas, and then there was ground meat and beans, and there was a shell of guacamole, and then in the center of it, on top of this volcano of nachos, there was a bowl of queso, and then some sour cream.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:You know what's fucked up about it, though?
Marc:It was good.
Marc:Oh, no, yeah, that's the weird thing.
Marc:Everything about that place was better than it looked.
Marc:The food was good.
Marc:The nachos were good.
Marc:I think we rose to challenge.
Guest:Yeah, it's one of those things where you feel bad trying to eat it, and you feel bad not finishing it, but you'd feel worse.
Marc:Well, I think I'm in one of those places now.
Marc:We're going to go to the Alamo.
Marc:I don't know if it's open or what.
Marc:But I think, you know, I don't know.
Marc:Well, you're a white guy.
Marc:You could probably get in.
Marc:What does that even mean?
Marc:Oh, I get it.
Marc:They still go by the old rules, huh?
Marc:I think so.
Marc:Do you have any idea what happened there?
Marc:Because I'm not, you know, historical stuff.
Marc:I know there was, I talked about it last night.
Marc:The people on the inside had one kind of hat.
Marc:And the people on the outside had another kind of hat.
Marc:And they went at it.
Marc:And there was only like one or two hats left, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, I heard there's some rumor that one of the guys who's a historical Texas figure dressed up like a woman to escape.
Guest:He put on a dress.
Guest:Do you know his name?
Guest:I can't remember.
Guest:Is it like Sam Houston or Daniel Boone?
Guest:Yeah, Daniel Boone, one of those guys.
Guest:Cross-dressed to get out?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That's a different story.
Guest:I feel like that's what we had to do last night to get out of that.
Marc:What did you get out of Chaluchis?
Marc:Chaluchis and Chachos?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:The place smelled like disinfectant.
Marc:It was like one of those things where developers build something too big and they run out of money to finish it.
Guest:That was that room we were in.
Guest:I know how a cat feels when you let it into a new place and it just hides behind a couch.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:There was no hiding with that mound of nachos.
Marc:That thing, I can't get out of my head.
Marc:I feel like we've been to Nacho Nam.
Guest:yeah you don't know what i've seen man look into my eyes yeah i'm never gonna be the same dude you'll never understand oh man all right so so we don't know anything about the alamo i don't know much other than just what was you know i grew up in texas so i know that the history there but we can but being that you're you're where's your um your mom from uh well she was actually born in texas but she's not mexican she's mexican yeah
Guest:And your dad?
Guest:My dad's white.
Guest:It's weird because my last name is Melandas.
Marc:So this, the Alamo sort of would, do you feel some analogy to the turmoil inside of you that maybe the Alamo could represent?
Guest:That was about things trying to get in.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And now I just feel like things are trying to get out, so.
Guest:You mean Mexican?
Guest:I'm not defending.
Guest:Yeah, well, I meant just like, yeah, if there was an Alamo, if we're going to...
Guest:You mean the metaphor.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, it wasn't going explicitly.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:All right, well, let's go see if we can figure it out.
Marc:I think that show last night was pretty fun.
Marc:Like that guy with the beard became sort of a theme in the show.
Marc:The wizard.
Marc:The wizard, yeah.
Marc:And you were riffing.
Marc:I like when crowd work becomes something other than just insulting the audience and it sort of weaves into this thing that becomes the set and you can go in and out of your material and your material grows with the crowd work.
Marc:And then everybody in the room, they get so excited.
Guest:Yeah, because they're getting to see that experience.
Guest:There's a part of them that knows that this isn't canned.
Guest:They had to be there to see that.
Marc:And you know what's weird is that I think so many, I don't know how many comics do it, but I get the feeling that a lot of comics, given a certain situation, will just plow through as opposed to sort of make it real.
Guest:Yeah, well, I mean, I can't do that either because there's got to be a certain level of honesty.
Marc:I can't do it either.
Marc:I get aggravated.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, literally, I'll feel like I'm in prison in myself.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'll be like, I've got to bust out of this, even if it sucks.
Guest:And then you know everybody else knows about it.
Guest:It's an awkward moment that you're trying to deny.
Guest:And then your material feels false, I suppose, in that scenario.
Marc:Well, it just feels like a job, dude.
Marc:I mean, it feels like... Well, you know, sometimes you'll do a show and you'll realize you're pretty good at acting like you don't give a shit.
Marc:But, you know, you'll realize...
Marc:that this is the level it's going to be.
Marc:I'm not going to transcend this.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That we're stuck here for some reason.
Marc:Like, that happened, I think, on Friday night for both of us, first show.
Marc:Can't get out of the gear.
Marc:Well, right, you know, because I'm not going to elevate them anymore.
Marc:There's nothing I can do other than, you know, scream and yell.
Marc:Like, at that moment, though, what I used to do is fucking ditch the set.
Marc:I mean, like, you know, get mad at them, just fucking suck it up, and see how much laughter I could get out of just fucking losing it.
Guest:And then would you pull out a closer at some point?
Marc:yeah how would that go but after you've just like made the girl in the front row cry yeah and and people are like you're a dick and you're like here comes my cock my clothes are like i want it to be stronger i think i gotta sell it harder i don't really believe in closers but they kind of expect it i mean you don't either apparently yeah well you know i don't like to tell people that life ends in a good you know with a fancy bow on it sometimes it's not doesn't have to be a fancy bow
Guest:For me to say, I know what you guys need at the end of the show, sometimes it doesn't feel real.
Marc:I brought back a couple of jokes that I had forgotten were really good.
Marc:I always get this wrong idea that so many of the people that listen to the podcast have not seen my stand-up.
Marc:I think they actually show up wondering whether or not I can do it.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:So I can do jokes that are great jokes from before.
Guest:There was a guy in the back I was watching last night.
Guest:He was this big Latino dude.
Guest:And he was kind of stone-faced.
Guest:And then you started hitting the relationship stuff.
Guest:And the Tourette's bit, he doubled over and you guys had a connection.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah, it was nice.
Guest:I love when I cross cultural boundaries.
Marc:That's completely antithetical to what the Alamo is about.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That was about breaking down walls, my friend.
Marc:You gotta let the right ones in.
Marc:Letting them in.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But it was pretty fun last night, that second show.
Marc:Like, tonight's a fuck-off night.
Marc:Yeah, we've already made our money.
Marc:We've made our money, and I don't anticipate a large crowd.
Marc:So maybe we should try some new shit.
Marc:Maybe we should do that Osama Bin Laden chunk, where I say he wasn't such a bad guy.
Guest:Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Marc:That's going to be a new t-shirt, right?
Marc:I tried to do that joke twice about the speech.
Marc:Obama gave the speech about killing bin Laden.
Marc:I tweeted that it was an amazing speech, and I thought he did a really good job at making 9-11 his own.
Marc:Oh, Christ.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And people literally were like, I don't get this.
Marc:I don't think you phrased this properly.
Marc:Did you make a mistake in how you wrote this?
Marc:No.
Marc:But, uh...
Marc:What are we listening to now?
Marc:This is a very odd mixtape.
Marc:Sorry, it's some 80s.
Marc:Now let me ask you a question, be honest with me, because I know you're watching the clock, the ages, the image and stuff.
Marc:Sure, yeah.
Marc:When you make a mixtape for yourself...
Marc:Do you put things on there just to make people go, wow, this is an interesting choice.
Marc:I mean, does this represent you somehow?
Marc:Do you make choices to put songs on mixtapes that you just think will be impressive in some weird way?
Marc:I mean, like when I'm making them, I have an image of me and you sitting in the car.
Marc:Or anybody in the car.
Guest:No, because I try not to have people in my car.
Marc:Yeah, I can understand that.
Marc:There's not much room for people in your car.
Guest:I picked this up from the hotel a little while ago.
Guest:I valet parked it, and the guy comes out, and it's the 93 Tercel mixed with a BMW, a Lexus, and then he puts it in idle, and the engine starts revving really high.
Guest:I had to get in immediately and turn it off.
Guest:I was so embarrassed, because I had to sit there.
Guest:Just in my car of, you know... The shame?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:The shame mobile?
Guest:Yeah, this is... Oh, God.
Marc:Why was it revving?
Marc:Is it fucked up?
Guest:Yeah, it's not, I mean, it's just not, it grew up on a farm, this car dude.
Guest:The car dude?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:What does that mean?
Guest:The guy I bought it from, there's like hornets in the back.
Guest:There's dead bugs in there that I never got out of.
Marc:You mean it was just sitting there on a farm?
Guest:Yeah, I had to change the oil three times really quick because it was just so dusty and dirty.
Marc:It's so funny, dudes, the road cars.
Marc:I've had cars in my life that were, it's been a long time since I've had a car that I lived in.
Marc:But this looks pretty close.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, like now I don't keep anything in my car.
Marc:Like people get in my car and they're like, is this a fucking rental?
Marc:I'm like, I don't want to make this important.
Guest:This car kind of represents the person I'd like to date.
Guest:In what way?
Guest:Just because it's not better than me.
Marc:Yet it's full of your shit?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, that sounds perfect.
Marc:Yeah, I get it.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Now, okay, let's try to find the Alamo.
Marc:It shouldn't be hard, right?
Marc:No, there's a big sign right there.
Marc:Oh, there's a sign.
Marc:The Alamo.
Marc:Right.
Marc:But I just searched it on my phone, and I got Alamo cleaners, Alamo garage, Alamo car sales.
Marc:Alamo draft house.
Marc:Yeah, and I could not figure out how to phrase it to find the actual Alamo.
Guest:Alamo monument?
Marc:No?
Marc:No, it didn't work.
Yep.
Marc:Oh, fuck, this is it.
Marc:This is downtown.
Marc:Oh, Alamo Dome.
Marc:Is that what it's called?
Marc:That's where the Spurs play, I believe.
Marc:No, that's not it.
Marc:That's not what we're looking for.
Marc:I remember it not being that impressive from the outside.
Marc:The Alamo?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Well, they didn't have great architecture.
Marc:Well, I mean, it was for them.
Marc:It was a fort, right?
Marc:I mean, you know how... It was a mission, right?
Guest:All right, it started out as like a mission and then... We have no idea.
Guest:It became fortified.
Guest:We have no fucking idea.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:This is supposed to be important.
Marc:You're from Texas for fuck's sake.
Marc:I mean, you know, this is important.
Marc:I didn't see the movie.
Marc:I know Sam Houston was involved.
Marc:Daniel Boone, was it?
Marc:Or Davy Crockett?
Marc:Yeah, both of them were.
Marc:Daniel Boone was there, too?
Marc:I believe so.
Marc:So there were two coonskin caps there?
Guest:Yeah, and they all died.
Guest:All the hats?
Guest:Yeah, everybody in there died.
Guest:Really?
Marc:Didn't one guy live?
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:How did they stop the Mexicans from getting in if everyone died?
Guest:No, they died.
Guest:Everybody died there.
Guest:It was a couple days later when the Texans or the Americans or whoever it was attacked Santa Ana while he was sleeping.
Guest:They had a siesta.
Marc:Oh, they took a nap.
Marc:They really do that, huh?
Marc:No matter what's going on.
Guest:Nap time?
Marc:Come on.
Guest:No, I swear to God, they're like possums.
Marc:And then didn't the American troops show up and there were a bunch of, like, you know, starved Jews?
Marc:Oh, wait, that's a different thing.
Marc:That was Auschwitz.
Marc:It's an A word.
Fuck.
Guest:Yeah, let's go into the Alamo with a healthy outlook on ethnic cleansing.
Marc:I don't think it was an ethnic cleansing thing, though.
Marc:Wasn't it just a territory thing?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But was it that Texas was trying to establish itself as a state?
Marc:Yeah, I think so.
Marc:I think they... I love speculative history.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I mean, they were a republic for a while.
Guest:From what I understand, there's a weird pride in Texas where facts don't matter.
Marc:That's America.
Marc:That's American politics.
Marc:So Texas is really a good representation of America.
Marc:What are you doing?
Marc:Parking here?
Marc:Yeah, it says Alamo Parking.
Guest:Ten bucks?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, I don't have any cash on me.
Guest:Oh, so you're asking me.
Guest:All right, I get how this works.
Guest:Yeah, we can park here.
Guest:Shake down the white man some more.
Marc:Sure, you need anything else?
Marc:You want me to meet you back later?
Marc:You need to take a nap?
Marc:All right, let's put batteries in this thing.
See if we can find this place.
Marc:All right, so here we are.
Marc:We're in the Alamo outside in the courtyard.
Marc:Is it the courtyard of the Alamo?
Marc:Where are we?
Marc:What is this?
Guest:I think we're kind of in the main entry area, this area right here.
Guest:The courtyard is back here.
Guest:That's a hell of a backyard.
Guest:Yeah, we came in through there, the front doors, which leads into another area and into the biggest area.
Marc:Wait, so you think we're in the center?
Guest:What's that big park area back there?
Guest:I think that's... That's now the River Center Mall.
Guest:Yeah, there's a weird sort of non-reverence to this place for me.
Marc:But you brought up something I didn't even realize, that the Texans lost.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, this is the, um, there was a place where I grew up that was called Taco USA, and it had the same... That was the actual name of the place?
Guest:Yeah, it had the same facade to it.
Marc:Hold on with this.
Marc:This is the Long Barrack, the oldest building in San Antonio was built in 1724.
Marc:As a convento, a residence for priests was originally part of the Mission San Antonio de Valero, known as the Alamo.
Marc:And since 1905, a shrine and museum maintained by the Daughters of the Republic of Texas.
Marc:Wow, I'd like to meet some of them.
Hmm.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:All right, and there's a hell of a tree out here.
Marc:Could use some pruning, but it looks like they're not into that.
Marc:Trees are not supposed to grow all the way out until these branches hit the ground.
Guest:It's probably protected by the state, this tree.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:There's a well next to it.
Marc:Yeah, that's the Alamo well.
Marc:That plays into the story somehow.
Marc:This is the well where people who lived at the Alamo over the course of history drank water from.
Marc:I made that up.
Guest:I like it, but I mean, you have the official quality.
Guest:They probably give tour guy tours.
Guest:You can say whatever you want.
Marc:Okay, let's try it.
Marc:This tree was planted by Sam Houston.
Guest:It was planted on the grave of his father.
Marc:Now, like, how about this?
Marc:This tree was planted by Sam Houston the day of the battle when he realized that things weren't going well.
Marc:He stuck a seed in the ground and peed on it.
Guest:And then sat at the base of the tree for the next five years.
Marc:Right.
Marc:But a lot of people don't realize that that was called Texas pee, and that sort of evolved into Texas tea, which is a popular drink.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Isn't it?
Marc:Does that make that up?
Guest:What's Texas tea?
Guest:Isn't that oil?
Guest:Wait, black oil.
Guest:Oh, that's oil, right?
Guest:No, fuck, that doesn't work.
Guest:But I know that because of the clampets.
Guest:I mean, not so much for me.
Guest:Were they Texans?
Guest:No, I think they were just hillbillies, but...
Marc:Oh, so they had nothing to do with Texas.
Marc:So Texas tea, though, but that's oil, so it doesn't... Ah, fuck.
Marc:All right, well, my made-up history didn't work.
Marc:You know, you try these things.
Marc:You know, there's no reason not to try them.
Guest:Maybe we could get some people to follow us in a sort of conga line of ignorance.
Guest:We could have stayed home and just looked up Wikipedia.
Guest:But we're here, dude.
Guest:I know, but it's outdoors.
Guest:It's kind of weird.
Guest:To learn outdoors from reading?
Guest:Yeah, sun's on things.
Marc:I agree with you.
Guest:What if you tweeted all this?
Guest:Like, what if your Twitter existed back then?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:As it was happening?
Guest:Live tweeting the Alamos age?
Guest:Just imagine how history would have been.
Guest:Like, we're fucked.
Guest:Yeah, because these guys are heroes because we didn't know them.
Guest:I had no idea that they lost.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, that's been the, uh... But there was a strength they showed, their integrity of sticking around.
Guest:And, like, one guy left.
Guest:They all decided to, like, not to die together.
Marc:Moses left?
Marc:Yeah, Moses Rose.
Marc:Is he a mythic leaver?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I've never actually heard that name.
Guest:It's not like a... Exactly.
Marc:That's what I'm saying.
Marc:He's like, maybe he's the pussy of the situation.
Guest:But now they have the Crockett Hotel right there.
Marc:It looks old, too.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:There's some dirty business that's gone on in the Crockett Hotel.
Guest:Yeah, that's where Sid Vicious would have been.
Guest:If he had been to Texas?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Sid and what was her name?
Guest:Nancy.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:How could I forget that?
Marc:Sid and Nancy at the Crockett Hotel.
Marc:He's just like, because the Alamo is so fucking cool in rock and roll history.
Marc:I believe that this is a fine cactus garden here.
Marc:I'm very aware of that because I have a cactus garden myself.
Marc:But this is very nice.
Marc:That's a barrel cactus.
Marc:Yeah, some sort of prickly pear.
Marc:Very nicely maintained.
Marc:The Crockett Hotel.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Didn't Ozzy Osbourne piss on the wall of the Alamo?
Guest:Yeah, I believe so.
Guest:And then he got arrested.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Maybe.
Marc:No, I heard that, but he was here for the battle, I think.
Guest:That explains a lot.
Marc:Don't you think we should go into the mission?
Marc:I mean, this is the whole thing, right?
Marc:I'm not saying it's disappointing.
Marc:I mean, it's nice.
Guest:We should go to the basement and find Pee-Wee's bike.
Guest:Is that where it is?
Guest:Yeah, he was looking for his bicycle.
Guest:They told him it was in the basement of the Alamo, and then he gets here, and there's no basement.
Guest:And everybody starts laughing at him, and he runs off.
Marc:Oh, so there is no basement?
Guest:There is no basement, yeah.
Marc:Because, like, nine people tweeted, I need to go to the basement of the Alamo.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And I was fucking excited about it.
Marc:I thought, like, fuck, is there some sort of weird crypt?
Marc:Your fans or something else.
Marc:Or a shrine with the head of Crockett?
Marc:Crockett's Head.
Marc:That's a name for a band.
Marc:So there's a lot of things leading up to this, folks.
Marc:If you want to know more about it, I suggest you perhaps wiki Alamo, because clearly we're not in any position to guide you through this.
Guest:It's a strange feeling, though, because we're actually at the place, and I feel like Wikipedia, I probably could learn more and not have to spend money on gas.
Marc:I know, but we're out in the world.
Marc:Look, you know what the Elmo can't defend itself against?
Marc:Whatever's going on out here.
Marc:Tourism.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:The Elmo loses every day.
Guest:Yeah, those people who stormed this place have eventually just turned into...
Marc:cock yeah nice yeah did you want to you want to expand on that or yeah it's pretty big yeah you've said enough did he just walk by and go cock yeah
Marc:but i mean it kind of makes sense what we were just saying you know what's interesting is he's with his kids and and that was dad who just saw me and lucas with microphones he's a cool dad though is that cool yeah he's the one who takes each other and says in front of the alamo yeah these guys with microphones they're going to the boys town later probably i can't believe the variations of bieber hair that's on display the bieber hair yeah from uh people who are out and about i'm still trying to process the fact that david bowie was here
Guest:Well, look at this guy.
Guest:This guy's now getting photos.
Guest:He looks like he's the lead singer of a karaoke kind of, or a bowler.
Guest:Maybe he bowls.
Marc:He's the guy that always assumes the lead position, but is just a complete buffoon.
Marc:Yeah, you can break him pretty quick if you know how to get to him.
Marc:Yeah, he's broken.
Marc:Yeah, he's already broken.
Marc:I broke him by asking him to expand on cock.
Guest:Yeah, he's already cowering away.
Marc:He's like a turtle's head, just backing off.
Marc:Yeah, like his cock.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Oh, come on.
Guest:Yeah, he said you want to expand on that.
Guest:He's like, it's already big enough.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Is that what he said?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, that was clever.
Marc:Yeah, well, maybe he's a good guy.
Marc:Well, I'm not saying that.
Marc:I'm saying that that was pretty funny.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:He's going to be at the show tonight.
Guest:That's the kind of heckler you know.
Marc:We should have asked him to come to the show tonight.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:There's the Alamo Ranger.
Marc:Hi.
Marc:Now, I don't know if we should go into the mission or what.
Guest:Were we in there, though?
Guest:Actually, is it that right there?
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Marc:Maybe we could.
Marc:Are we doing something wrong?
Marc:Oh, we're just recording a podcast.
Marc:It's a podcast, like a radio show.
Marc:And I host it, and we go around places, and we talk about it.
Marc:And we were at the music festival yesterday, until today we're at the Alamo.
Marc:Now, as an Alamo Ranger... Hold on a second.
Guest:You need a permit to do that here.
Marc:We need a permit to talk on microphones?
Guest:We're just recording it.
Marc:from the Daughters of the Republic of Texas.
Marc:All right, well, we'll go.
Guest:Sorry about that.
Marc:Appreciate it.
Marc:How do we get all the Daughters of the Republic of Texas?
Guest:You know, part of me is like, well, you know, I am half Mexican.
Guest:I should be able to get in there.
Marc:Well, I don't think he's saying that we can't go in.
Guest:We just can't record.
Guest:Yeah, but I mean, my people took this place by force, and now I'm kind of feeling like I need to step up.
Marc:Do you want to rush the Texas Ranger?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I mean, they did win eventually, so I'm not going to.
Guest:I've learned from history.
Guest:Maybe that's what the lesson was today.
Marc:I don't know what the lesson was, but I have a natural aversion to authority, and I wanted to explain himself more.
Guest:Well, yeah, he eyeballed us, and he kind of stepped in as if he expected us to know we were doing something wrong.
Marc:Well, yeah, how would we know that?
Marc:This is a free world.
Marc:Like, is he going to come bother us here too?
Marc:Across the street?
Marc:Yeah, we're almost daring him.
Marc:This fucking, with his goddamn cowboy hat, Alamo Ranger.
Marc:He's just a daughters of the Republic of Texas bitch.
Marc:That's what he is.
Guest:He probably drives a Sentra.
Guest:That's his secret shame.
Marc:Nah, he probably drives a truck.
Marc:I bet you he'd come back over here.
Marc:Look, now he's calling, fucking calling back up.
Guest:He's calling, yeah, he's like, alright, we got two troublemakers over there.
Marc:Now what, are they gonna confiscate something?
Guest:He's circling us too, you know?
Marc:We need permission to broadcast.
Guest:It's a tactic.
Marc:My buddy's fucking half Mexican.
Marc:God damn it.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Look at him wandering around.
Guest:I pulled that out.
Marc:Huh?
Guest:I pulled that half Mexican card out only when it's convenient.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Do you actually have a card?
Marc:yeah it's the debit card with no bank man i'm glad we got what we got because you know that was i didn't realize how risky it would be it's pretty dicey in there yeah having the guy yelled cock at us and then now we've got this guy a lot of shit went down man this guy's on the horn he's definitely on the horn but he's not on the walkie so that could be a you know home call he's probably calling in to see what he should do like how he should proceed with the um
Guest:Because, I mean, are we technically, we're on the street.
Guest:This is public property.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:We might be on the Elmo grounds.
Marc:Maybe he's calling the daughters Republic of Texas.
Marc:The daughters of the Republic of Texas.
Marc:They're going to come down in a bus.
Guest:Oh, no, they're going to be like this again, whatever his name is.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Lloyd.
Marc:Oh, man.
Marc:See these microphones.
Marc:Like when I did the Creation Museum, I stashed this.
Marc:But I didn't think this was going to be as dicey.
Marc:I had more trouble here than the Creation Museum.
Guest:This is American history.
Guest:There's a lot more history at the other place, right?
Guest:Yeah, but it's made up.
Marc:This is genuine history.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It seems like... Wait, there's a guy cleaning the wood.
Guest:Wait, here we go.
Marc:I want to talk to the daughters of the Republic of Texas.
Marc:I demand to be allowed into the Alamo as an American.
Guest:But you know what that means.
Guest:What?
Guest:I wonder if they're like the Sons of Anarchy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They just come riding in on their motorcycles and shake us down.
Guest:It's like they're going to step on your recorder.
Marc:I just, you know, the way he fucking looked at us, like we were supposed to know we were doing something wrong by talking into microphones.
Marc:God damn it, it's a free country.
Marc:This is my tape recorder.
Marc:My flash record, digital recorder.
Marc:Whatever, it's mine, and it makes my noises.
Guest:I think he's afraid of us, though, because if he is talking about us, he's doing it from a very passive, aggressive distance.
Marc:Well, that's what he did before.
Marc:He just fucking stink-eyed us, and then he came in closer and asked what we were doing.
Marc:You tried to talk to him, and he's like, now, hold on.
Guest:We need a permit from the Daughters of the Republic of Texas.
Guest:And you don't just get those.
Guest:You have to go through a lot of red tape.
Guest:I wouldn't even know where to start.
Guest:Is there a movement or a website?
Guest:Do they have an office?
Guest:It's probably inside.
Guest:That's how they get you.
Marc:I do want to go into the church, kind of.
Guest:There's a lot of people on scooters right now.
Guest:I thought those were out.
Guest:Are they back?
Guest:No, there's just two people over there.
Marc:All right, fuck it.
Marc:Let's put the fucking equipment away and go into the church.
Marc:And find out.
Marc:Well, no, let's just go in and learn what we're going to learn and walk past that fucking Alamo Ranger.
Marc:He's not even a Texas Ranger.
Marc:That guy hasn't seen it.
Guest:He's probably never had his gun out of his holster in a day.
Guest:Let's go make him take his gun out.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:All right.
Guest:Oh, wait, someone's singing.
Guest:Somebody's singing?
Guest:Something happened.
Guest:Well, I think this is a cult leader.
Guest:Jesus Christ, look at that.
Guest:Let's go get that.
Guest:Come on.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Okay, well, he's preaching.
Guest:Oh, no, this is going to go up.
Guest:Psalm 119, 9-11.
Guest:The Bible says, Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his ways?
Guest:By taking heed thereto according to thy word, thy word hath it hid in my heart, that I might not sin against thee.
Guest:Why do I memorize and read my Bible?
Guest:Bible says, wherewithal shall a young man, I know I'm not a young man, but still, wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his ways by taking heed thereto according to thy word.
Guest:Thy word hath a hidden mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.
Guest:The more Bible you've got, the better off you are, I think.
Guest:You know, God uses the Bible to get people saved.
Guest:The Bible says,
Guest:I think we're in trouble, generally.
Guest:Well, you know what I'm realizing?
Guest:We're in that area that the crazy people are in when they can't get into the Alamo.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Where are those people now?
Guest:Yeah, and the other dude looking at us is like... Those people right there are us in five years.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:There's a lot of things going on out here.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Now, what I want to know is... Let's get closer.
Marc:Now we're going to get in trouble, though.
Marc:There's fucking three marshals.
Marc:Now, what I want to know is, it's okay for him to yell this fucking religious bullshit, and we can't record?
Marc:Well, it is a mission.
Marc:Oh, shit.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:It's a tough crowd.
Marc:Literally, no one is listening.
Guest:I like his heart.
Guest:Maybe he should do a guest spot tonight.
Marc:You want to ask him?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Do 10 minutes?
Marc:I don't think he can keep it to 10.
Guest:No, he doesn't have a tight 10 inside of him.
Marc:Yeah, it looks like one of those guys you definitely go over.
Marc:He's got a big book of notes there.
Marc:It's called the Bible, Lucas.
Marc:How does that not look like you said?
Marc:How does that not look crazy when you're doing that in public?
Guest:See, that's the problem with he's got a shirt tucked in.
Guest:He looks presentable on all accounts, but then he opens his mouth.
Guest:Oh, he's got a holster for his cell phone.
Marc:So this is just a weekend thing for him.
Guest:Yeah, that's weird, though.
Marc:He just told his wife and kids, I'm going to go spread the good news.
Marc:He used to go to the bathhouses, and now he just comes down here.
Guest:Because he can keep his clothes on.
Guest:Yeah, why do you smell like a sweaty wall?
Marc:Why do you smell like cock?
Marc:All right.
Guest:Now we've pulled it all full circle.
Marc:I mean, I can understand how it would apply to video, but how could it apply to fucking radio or whatever we're doing?
Marc:Like, what's going to happen?
Guest:What are we taking away that we couldn't make up?
Guest:I feel like the place takes itself too seriously.
Guest:I mean, it's across the street from Ripley's Believe It or Not Wax Museum.
Guest:It's a tourist attraction.
Guest:And just the image of it has been devalued by the fact that everything in Texas has that similar... I've been to taco places that look like this.
Guest:Right.
Marc:But we can't record the real Alamo.
Marc:We can't.
Marc:We've come to pay our fucking respects to an American historical artifact, a monument of the whatever it is, the Republic of Texas, you know, to honor it.
Marc:And they tell us fucking authority comes, you know, fuck that, man.
Marc:It's all he's got, though.
Marc:No, I say we go in there.
Marc:I say we take the fucking Alamo, dude.
Guest:All right?
Guest:I do have a twitch in my spine.
Guest:You do?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I could probably scale the walls.
Guest:Just to do it.
Marc:Yeah, man, I think that'd be great if we just kind of rushed it.
Marc:You know what would happen?
Marc:No one would notice if we just started scaling the walls, saying that we're too strong.
Marc:Two of us can take the Alamo.
Marc:You're half Mexican.
Guest:Yeah, and the guy that cops over there would just kind of, the security guards would just probably turn a blind eye.
Marc:Well, no, they'd probably come up and go, fellas, and we'd go, yeah, you're right.
Guest:We try.
Marc:It was just an idea.
Marc:You know, it was an idea for a thing.
Marc:We provide context to their job, at least.
Marc:Well, I'll tell you, what I took away from it is something I always take away from things like this, is how intimate battles were.
Marc:You know, like now we're in the world of the drone.
Guest:Yeah, you had to look at your eye.
Marc:You're going to be in the eye at this point.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Like people coming.
Marc:Can you imagine that?
Marc:It's just coming over the wall and fucking fighting them hand to hand.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And Sam Houston getting all pissed off about the Alamo and going down to the city they named after him that was called something else and just fucking killing those dudes in 18 minutes.
Marc:Death used to mean something back then.
Marc:Well, I'm glad we did it.
Marc:I'm glad we got a little preaching in.
Marc:We were reprimanded.
Marc:We infiltrated the Alamo with our powerful podcasting equipment.
Marc:And I don't know.
Marc:Did we learn anything?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:There's snow cones right across from us we could get.
Guest:I learned that.
Guest:I learned that they're called raspas.
Guest:What are raspas?
Guest:Is that snow called?
Guest:Yeah, I think it means that's in Spanish probably.
Marc:See, I learned that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's a new thing for me.
Guest:And I learned the daughters of the Republic of Texas are people you don't want to cross.
Marc:Yeah, especially not with microphones.
Marc:And that apparently they have the power to grant permits for us to do things that we should be able to do in a free country.
Marc:So what did those people die for at the Alamo, really?
Marc:If their daughters of the Republic of Texas...
Marc:have control over my voice lucas over what i can say and can't say you know what i mean that is bullshit this whole place is one big ego swinging dick affair yeah no shit this guy's making minimum wage and he's telling us what we can and can't do and it's not about the job it's about us crossing him it's not about the alamo let's go i say we go do you think we can find any of the daughters of the republic of texas on a sunday they're probably hidden in the basement mark
Guest:Marron es un payaso, es muy divertido.
Guest:Marron es muy macho, tienes muchos gatos.
Guest:Marron tiene un podcast muy interesante.
Guest:Maro le pregunta a la gente que lo sigue Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay Espero Chupacabra aparezca Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay Él es un judío gracioso
Guest:All right, I'll do it.
Marc:I'll do it.
Marc:All right, you just, all right.
Marc:Goddamn, I mean, this is difficult.
Marc:All right, all right.
Marc:You just point the mic at me, all right?
Marc:This seems crazy.
Marc:How you doing, folks?
Marc:I think Jesus was one of the great Jewish magicians.
Marc:There's been a history of Jewish magicians.
Marc:Houdini was a Jew.
Marc:His real name was Weiss.
Marc:David Copperfield was a Jew.
Marc:I don't know what I'm saying here, folks.
Marc:I guess I'm saying that, OK, yeah, Jesus could walk on water.
Marc:But if he fell in wearing a straitjacket, could he get out?
Marc:Could he get out?
Marc:I. I want some other Jesus stuff.
Marc:Hey, if you want to believe that the flying Jew is going to come back and save you, that's on you.
Marc:I'm in no position to question your beliefs.
Marc:Because I take vitamins.
Marc:And I believe that they work.
Marc:There's no scientific indication that they work, folks.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:None.
Marc:If I don't take my vitamins for two days, I feel like a bad person.
Marc:I think we all know what that feels like.
Marc:And I feel like something horrible will happen to me.
Marc:Yeah, and if that isn't dogma, I don't know what it is.
Marc:Now, granted, no one has ever been killed in the name of vitamins yet.
Marc:I don't proselytize, I'm not here to pro, all right, maybe a little.
Marc:I have heard myself say, really, no fish oil at your age?
Marc:But people, that's as hard as I'm gonna push the good news today.
Marc:I don't know what I'm saying, man.
Marc:We're in trouble.
Marc:All right, don't look at me for fucking help because I'm talking out loud on the street.
Marc:I have nothing else to do.
Marc:Don't look to me with your problems.
Marc:I don't think it's the right angle.
Marc:No one's here.
Marc:No one's coming around.
Marc:Maybe I held a book or something.
Marc:Hey, life is tough.
Guest:Let's get something to eat.
Guest:Oh.
Marc:Well, that's it.
Marc:That's our episode.
Marc:Maybe street preaching is not my racket.
Marc:Maybe I should perhaps do my act on the street.
Marc:Maybe I will have to do my act on the street someday, but not today.
Marc:I hope you enjoyed that.
Marc:As always, go to WTFPod.com for all your WTFPod needs.
Marc:Kick in a few shekels.
Marc:Get on the subscription package.
Marc:If you do the $2.50 premium, I'll send you two t-shirts, a few CDs, four CDs, stickers, and you have access to some of those premium episodes from back in the day.
Marc:You can do the $10 a month thing, which you'll
Marc:get you a t-shirt and some stickers, or you can just kick in whatever you want.
Marc:Go to WTFPod.com for that.
Marc:Pick up the apps for the iPhone, the iPad, the Droid, the iPod Touch.
Marc:Those are all exciting options.
Marc:You can get your premium episodes for sale there as well.
Marc:All is there at WTFPod.com.
Marc:JustCoffee.coop.
Marc:Let me... Hold on.
Marc:Why not?
Marc:Do I have any?
Marc:Oh, man.
Marc:My cup is empty.
Marc:So, pal, I'm hoping to shit my pants later.
Marc:Justcoffee.coop.
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Marc:Laugh Spin.com.
Marc:Support the people that support us.
Marc:What the fuck blend.
Marc:I get a little bit on the back end of that.
Marc:Alright.
Marc:I love you guys.
Marc:Seriously.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Talk to you later.