Episode 197 - Andrew Dice Clay / Max Silverstein
Guest:Lock the gates!
Marc:Are we doing this?
Marc:Really?
Marc:Wait for it.
Marc:Are we doing this?
Marc:Wait for it.
Marc:Pow!
Marc:What the fuck?
Marc:WTF?
Marc:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?
Marc:What's wrong with me?
Marc:It's time for WTF?
Guest:What the fuck?
Guest:With Marc Maron.
Marc:Okay, let's do this, what the fuckers, what the fuck buddies, what the fuckineers, what the fuckanucks.
Marc:That's an appropriate one.
Marc:This is Marc Maron.
Marc:This is WTF.
Marc:I am still in Montreal.
Marc:I am in Canada.
Marc:I'm in my hotel room.
Marc:I am fat.
Marc:I'm a little tired of French.
Marc:I cannot eat poutine again.
Marc:That was a mistake.
Marc:It was a good mistake.
Marc:Did I have to get the poutine with sausages on it?
Marc:Did I have to get the poutine that came with gravy and
Marc:Cheese curds, sausages, mergiz, I think mergoos, mergaz, merg something sausages, hot peppers, Tabasco.
Marc:Did that have to happen?
Marc:Did I have to have ice cream after that?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I need to celebrate somehow.
Marc:If I don't shove things into my mouth, I just yell at people.
Marc:That's how I celebrate what's been going on up here.
Marc:Maybe I should tell you who's on the show today because that did happen in my garage.
Marc:We are going to talk to Andrew Silverstein today, or as you may know him, Andrew Dice Clay.
Marc:And I had a great conversation in the garage and I did something sort of interesting for the second half of this podcast that I'll share with you in a little while.
Marc:But let me just talk about Montreal for a second because I'm here.
Marc:I'll probably talk about it again when I get home, but I'm going to talk about it now.
Marc:It's been an amazing trip.
Marc:I've done some good work.
Marc:I wrote a speech that people liked.
Marc:I put it up online if you didn't hear it yet.
Marc:The shows have been going pretty well.
Marc:I don't know how to handle it.
Marc:I know you know me.
Marc:I know you know what I'm saying.
Marc:I've had a lovely time up here.
Marc:They did send me through immigration at the border.
Marc:I appreciate your concern about that, but that did happen again.
Marc:Fortunately for me, I was the only one in immigration.
Marc:But they did still make me wait.
Marc:I walked through a maze of, you know, that sort of partition.
Marc:I don't know what you call that when you they have the the the the line set up with the little ropes.
Marc:So I walked through that and then I stood and waited for an immigration agent to to ask me to come forward.
Marc:And there's such an intimidation element there because I know that they could either a send me away, make me go back to the United States.
Marc:B, put me in jail for no reason at all.
Marc:Or C, ask me ridiculous questions that I don't know the answers to that concern the venues that I will be performing in.
Marc:So I was prepared to do all of those things.
Marc:And no, they just stood there and made me wait.
Marc:That's an awkward thing to do for like three minutes, four minutes, five minutes, where it's just you, no one else online at the end of a maze, looking at two immigration agents who are just sitting there enjoying that power dynamic.
Marc:It was fairly smooth once I walked up, but there was an intimidation factor.
Marc:I get it, I understand.
Marc:I know I'm in the French part of Canada.
Marc:I know that because people speak French.
Marc:I'm also learning that, I don't know what it is in me, I'm just gonna have to work it out.
Marc:I appreciate the culture, but I'm getting a little irritated with the French speaking.
Marc:Not in an American way, just in a way that it's a mixture between why am I not fucking bilingual?
Marc:Why can't I understand French?
Marc:Why did I opt out of my language requirement by claiming that I was incapable mentally of
Marc:of taking a language just because there was no way I was going to sit in the language lab and listen to some recorded voice going, see, now that was a little racist, but I don't know any French.
Marc:I can't even pretend to know a few things.
Marc:Bonjour.
Marc:And then you repeat it.
Marc:There was no way I was going to do that.
Marc:I had drinking to do.
Marc:I had pot to smoke.
Marc:I had people to see.
Marc:I had sleeping that needed to be done.
Marc:That's where I was at.
Marc:Let's get back to what's going on today.
Marc:Andrew Dice Clay, a controversial figure to many.
Marc:I like Andrew.
Marc:I think he's funny.
Marc:I was a doorman at the Comedy Store in 1986, and I happened to be a doorman right when Kennison was peaking and Dice was right behind him in terms of becoming the biggest comedy stars in the world.
Marc:Now, when I saw Dice, he was doing his nursery rhymes.
Marc:He was doing a cigarette stick.
Marc:He had the full artillery.
Marc:He had the full uniform, the Dice uniform.
Marc:And I never understood because I left the comedy.
Marc:So I never quite understood why he was the one that got crucified by certain groups for being a certain thing, because I always saw him as sort of a spectacle, you know, almost a complete character.
Marc:I'm going to talk to him about that.
Marc:I will address that with him.
Marc:But I was always sort of impressed with the
Marc:uniqueness of his presentation.
Marc:He was definitely a character, and I was always, quite frankly, intimidated by him.
Marc:Back then, I didn't feel that he was the friendliest guy in the world, but then again, I didn't know him.
Marc:I was just a kid working the door, and he was a guy doing the dice thing.
Marc:Now, I really had not seen him for probably about 15 years and I hadn't really thought much about it.
Marc:I know he did a reality show.
Marc:You know, I know he had his troubles that whatever was publicized, but I really hadn't seen him do comedy.
Marc:And I think I talked about this on the show.
Marc:I was at the comedy store one night watching one after another comic go do roughly the same thing up there.
Marc:I could have closed my eyes and I wouldn't have known the difference between them.
Marc:And then Dice walks in, no longer wearing the outfit, just being who he is, at the age he's at, got up on stage for 45 minutes.
Marc:I laughed my ass off.
Marc:I was so happy to be in the hands of a professional.
Marc:I got a real kick out of what he was saying.
Marc:He was just talking about his life.
Marc:I'd never seen him like that.
Marc:I hadn't seen him live in probably 15 years.
Marc:And I was actually thrilled to see him.
Marc:And the one thing I never realized about Dice, because I don't know anything about him other than what I see.
Marc:And this happens a lot with me.
Marc:I make up a life for these guys that I think is right.
Marc:But I wouldn't have ever known that he was a father.
Marc:Not only is he a father, he's got two kids.
Marc:One of them is doing comedy, Max Silverstein.
Marc:And we got into that a little bit.
Marc:So I said, well, I got to talk to Max.
Marc:So you'll listen.
Marc:I talked to Dice for a bit, and then the second part of this interview, I talked to Dice's son, and he's a well-adjusted kid.
Marc:I don't know why I just couldn't get my head around that, but we had a lovely conversation, so let's do that now.
Marc:Let's go back to the garage and talk to Andrew Dice Clay.
Marc:I got the air conditioner.
Marc:For some reason, with you, I said the last fucking thing I want is for Dice to come over here and worry about the air conditioner.
Marc:I don't know why I decided that you would be pissed off about the air conditioner.
Guest:No, you know what it is?
Guest:It's not pissed off about the air.
Guest:It's more the heat.
Marc:Yeah, right.
Marc:But I wanted to make sure it was cool in here.
Guest:Do people know where you do this from?
Marc:Yeah, it's in a garage.
Guest:Yeah, and it's one of the coolest garages I've ever seen.
Marc:Well, I'm going to set a stage here because I kind of know you a little bit, and I don't know if you remember, but I lived in Cresthill in your old room, and you came up once, 1987.
Marc:It was the green room, the little room with the little bed and the bathroom.
Guest:Okay, but this is where you're wrong?
Guest:The room was red.
Guest:Think about it.
Marc:When you lived in it.
Guest:Oh, they changed it.
Marc:But it had its own bathroom, right?
Marc:And you came in and you said, you ever get a blowjob in that tub?
Guest:Yeah, because I got thousands of them.
Guest:Literally.
Guest:It's what I would do.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You know, I'd go down to the comedy store.
Guest:What was the night where anybody could go on?
Guest:Monday night.
Guest:It was Monday.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Potlip night.
Guest:So I'd go down there and Ronnie Kenny would say to me, he goes, it's amazing with you.
Guest:He goes, you come down to the store, you go up there with the leather jacket, you do your thing, you come out to the parking lot, you negotiate whatever check, you point to Crest Hill, you know, yeah, I live right up there.
Guest:Can you give me a lift?
Guest:You know, next thing you know, it's the blow job in the bath.
Guest:But, you know, the beauty of that was that, you know, I was hygienically nice enough to these women to let them bathe me first.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:That was the angle?
Guest:Yeah, I wouldn't even let them suck my dick until I was completely soaked up.
Guest:Please give me a bath.
Guest:I'm dirty.
Guest:How funny is that?
Guest:Because it had an old-time bath.
Guest:Yeah, like it was a tiled tub.
Guest:Well, let me explain the room.
Guest:I was in Cresto because people watching this.
Marc:Are you actually filming me now?
Marc:No, no film.
Marc:We're just on the mic.
Marc:Mitzi Shore, the owner of the comedy store, owned this house.
Marc:It was like a pretty nice... And she's the owner of the comedy store.
Marc:Right, nice fucking house, though.
Marc:It became a halfway house later on, but she let us live up there.
Marc:Did you pay rent?
Marc:Not till I made it.
Marc:Oh.
Marc:So she put you up there.
Guest:She had no problem calling my father and go, he owes me $5,000.
Guest:And then we paid her.
Guest:And then she called a couple months later to get paid again.
Guest:Wait, she called your father?
Guest:Yeah, because he ran my business.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Okay, it wasn't this weird thing where it's like, your son is closing.
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:What was great with my dad is that I was with the biggest management in Hollywood.
Guest:I was with Sandy Gallin, who had everybody from Stallone to Whoopi Goldberg to Dolly Parton.
Guest:And the beauty of it...
Guest:The beauty of it was is that I wouldn't make a move no matter what Sandy wanted to do with me until my father okayed it.
Guest:So my father would be on the phone with Sandy every morning while he was on his treadmill discussing the career strategy.
Guest:Because from day one, my dad was my manager.
Guest:I considered him my manager.
Marc:But where did that start, though?
Marc:That started in Brooklyn?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:That started in Brooklyn.
Guest:The very first time I went on in Pips in Brooklyn.
Guest:How old were you?
Guest:I wasn't even 21 yet.
Guest:And the act was a very novel act.
Guest:It was me as Jerry Lewis.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, his Nutty Professor character.
Guest:Not the one Eddie Murphy did, but the original Nutty Professor.
Guest:Actually, I just thought...
Guest:Actually, I'm a human pity, ladies and gentlemen.
Guest:But in these two glasses, and I would mix together my potion, and I would take it, the lights would go out, and the owners of the club, Seth Schultz,
Guest:would, he knew the cue when I snapped my finger, turned the lights back on.
Guest:So within 20 seconds, I had to slick my hair back, which I had more of, make the Danny Zuko curl, stripped down from a giant tuxedo shirt, and now I'm standing there as Travolta as Danny Zuko from Grease.
Guest:So the very first time I went on at Pipps,
Guest:The way I put the act, let me just back up.
Guest:The way I put the act together.
Marc:Not Dice.
Guest:Not Dice.
Guest:This is to get into show business, right?
Marc:It was impressions, right?
Guest:Yeah, but what happened was, since I'm 16, when Travolta hit as Barbarino in Welcome Back, Carter,
Guest:we could have been doubles.
Guest:We were like brothers, the way we looked.
Guest:So, and the fact that I looked like him, I'd make myself look like him even more.
Guest:That's what people do when they really resemble somebody on TV.
Marc:Especially if he's got some, you know, he's got legs, he's popular.
Guest:Yeah, and I was able to do a perfect impression of Travolta.
Guest:I walk around school, you know, people would go, you look, you know, I'm in high school.
Guest:They go, you look like John Travolta.
Guest:I go, I don't know what you're talking about.
Guest:What?
Guest:And they go, you even sound like him.
Guest:I go, I don't know what you're talking about.
Guest:Mr. Conner says to me, Vinnie, did you do your homework?
Guest:Where?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:So what I did, I went to a studio in Brooklyn, a regular recording studio, because
Guest:You know, the bottom line is I never really studied comics.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I couldn't give a fuck about comics.
Guest:Seriously?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Growing up, I was more, I was into the drums.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, I saw Ringo Stowe when the Beatles aired.
Guest:Then I became like a giant fan of like Buddy Rich and Gene Krupa.
Marc:So you were a drummer.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That was your dream.
Guest:Yeah, since I was like seven years old.
Guest:Are you good at it?
Guest:I'm pretty good.
Guest:My son, Max, is beyond belief.
Guest:You have two sons?
Guest:Yeah, Max is, he goes under Max Silverstein, not Max Clay.
Guest:And Clay's my middle name.
Guest:Andrew Silverstein.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Andrew Clay Silverstein is my full name, and then it became Andrew Dice Clay.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But anyway, Max's drumming is like, you know, John Bonham style, Ginger Baker.
Guest:Bounds it.
Guest:No, no, he really has unreal skill.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:And he had it when he was 10.
Guest:You know, that's when he started.
Guest:And that's what he's doing?
Guest:No, he's doing stand-up now.
Guest:yeah same path yeah he's doing stand-up he's he's unreal is he good yes what's his style i say he's like an edgier version of seinfeld okay observational yeah observational but you know he always comes to me about with language and stuff i go look
Guest:We live in a really tough world and people want to laugh hard.
Marc:What do you mean with language?
Marc:He says, should I say fuck or what?
Guest:Well, he's really one of the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But some material you talk about on stage doesn't call for such nice words.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I tell him, look, I have no right to tell you what you can and can't say on stage.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because then you're not going to become the performer you want to become.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So he does his thing.
Guest:That's why I say he's like Edgy Seinfeld, because he is observational.
Guest:But yet, the whole thing about women today, what he's experiencing is you just can't be nice to them.
Guest:So he talks about that on stage.
Guest:He goes, because I'm a really nice guy.
Guest:You know, and I don't want to do his material, but when he talks to me about like any girl that he's met, like the girl next door.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then the next day she wants nothing to do with him.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And he's only trying to be nice to her.
Guest:And it's almost like the guy is in the position.
Guest:Like years ago, a guy would be with a girl, have a one night stand.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then go, well, you know, I'm not really into a heavy relationship right now.
Guest:Now it's the girls saying that to guys.
Right.
Guest:And I'll say to him, I'll say, Max, let me tell you something.
Guest:These little fucking slobs, they come over to the club, right?
Guest:None of them are in comedy.
Guest:They come in a little pack.
Marc:You're talking about the women.
Guest:The ones he's meeting.
Guest:And they all look like the girl next door, but yet they're not involved even in show business.
Guest:They're looking for the guy with the development deal with ABC that 15 years from now, they're making a living from that guy for the rest of their life.
Marc:So you think they're just parasites looking for the cash?
Guest:Yeah, they're hunting.
Marc:Hold on, let me shut this door.
Marc:Does that still go on at the store?
Marc:You feel that?
Marc:It goes on everywhere.
Marc:But it's very funny to me that a nice kid is coming to you as a father for advice about women.
Guest:Well, you know what it is?
Guest:As a father, I'm a different type of guy.
Marc:Well, I think that's interesting to me because a lot of guys, when I came up, when I was with you at the comedy store, I saw you, I was a doorman, and Dice was just starting to blow up.
Marc:You had the whole thing, the big jacket, the whole thing, and it must have been 1988.
Marc:I took off in 88.
Marc:Right.
Marc:So I was right there at the beginning of that.
Marc:And then there were these other guys, like Fat Todd, Todd Lemish, and Jimmy Schubert, who I was hanging out with, who knew you as Andrew Silverstein on some level.
Marc:So I was always sort of curious about who that guy is.
Guest:Well, I've always more or less been a family man.
Guest:I just got married for the third time.
Guest:If I was...
Guest:Really, like my stage persona, you know, I wouldn't be with a girl for more than an hour and a half.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I do love sex.
Guest:I do, you know, really focus on that in a relationship because, you know, people, you know, it's like I even talk.
Guest:My sons have no problem coming to me and talking to me.
Guest:I got two boys.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:About anything.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because you got to be honest with your kids or else they grow up not knowing anything.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:So, you know, if a kid is having a problem with a girl.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, or with a sexual thing, let's say.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:If you don't have who to talk to, you go out of your mind.
Marc:What's your advice?
Marc:If I said, how do I get a girl to, you know, fuck me?
Guest:Well, no, he doesn't ask like that.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:He'll just, like, if he meets a girl, he'll, like, well, what do you think?
Guest:And, you know, depending on the situation, I mean, I give him true, honest advice.
Guest:You know, I teach them, you know, no means no, you know, all that stuff.
Guest:I go, never do anything a girl doesn't want you to do.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:you know, always be a gentleman, even though you want to be a little edgy with them because they want the bad boy image, you know, you still got to be a sweet guy.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:So, you know, my real life, you know, you haven't seen me around for a decade because you know what?
Guest:I went through a rough divorce.
Guest:Horrible, right?
Guest:Yeah, pretty horrible.
Guest:But both my sons live with me, and I went to traded that for anything in the world.
Marc:Was that the one you were with in 1988?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:The nickname Cheesecake or something?
Guest:Well, we won't talk about it.
Guest:All right, sorry.
Guest:Because that'll just be a lawsuit.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Oh, that bad, huh?
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Just trying to get a point of reference.
Guest:Yeah, and it's a decade later.
Guest:Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:But the fact is, when I went through that breakup, I didn't give a fuck about my career.
Guest:I didn't have managers, publicists, agents.
Guest:I would just do club gigs and come right home and take care of my boys.
Guest:And then the last year and a half, I was doing these smaller rooms like in Vegas just to make a living so I could be near my sons.
Marc:Okay, so that was really the big choice?
Guest:Yeah, I didn't give a fuck.
Guest:If you have kids, you gotta fucking bring them up.
Guest:Because if you don't, you see the dummies walking around out there.
Guest:So I've always been about accomplishment, but who gives a fuck about movies, TV, if I got two kids that grow up like fucking morons?
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:So to bring up good, well-balanced kids that are also focused on their lives and the things they want to do, that's the biggest accomplishment.
Guest:Well, how were you brought up?
Guest:Well, I was brought up good.
Guest:I was brought up- Your parents stay married?
Guest:I'm from Brooklyn, so people in Brooklyn are very grounded, very down to earth.
Marc:What kind of business were your folks in
Guest:Well, my mother didn't work, but my father could do anything.
Guest:He did everything from retail toy stores to the building line to a process serving agency.
Guest:And when I came into comedy, I started working with my father so I could do the comedy at night, and he started managing me.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And that was exciting because while guys were making $20 a night because of the Jerry Lewis Travolta Act,
Guest:He was getting me like $1,000 a night to play these big discos.
Marc:At 22.
Guest:Because Travolta was the biggest thing in the world.
Guest:So I would end my act with doing Grease Lightning.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was a very polished act.
Guest:When I saw Travolta in Grease.
Marc:Right.
Right.
Guest:I realized, okay, I know what my act could be because I didn't want to go to acting school.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know, I just don't believe in it.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:What do you mean?
Guest:Well, what I mean is you either have natural ability or you don't.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And the point is I was looking at rock stars and movie stars, and when I started doing the comedy, I was doing this crazy little act that the first time I went on at Pips, they hired me to headline that weekend.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because the place, when I turned into Travolta,
Guest:the audience actually broke the club apart because I looked so like him and sounded so like him.
Guest:When I came on as Jerry Lewis going, well, actually, ladies and gentlemen, and my whole family sitting there watching this from when I was seven years old, and now they're seeing me with a giant tuxedo shirt, my hair,
Guest:with the fauxhawk greased forward, and the entire audience is booing me.
Guest:It's a Brooklyn fucking audience with the air conditioner on in the club.
Guest:And then I take the potion, turn into Travolta, and the place went from hatred to complete awe.
Guest:And they fucking, they were throwing tables over.
Guest:And as I'm leaving the club, Seth and Marty Schultz stop me at the door, and they go, who are you?
Guest:And I go, well, this is my first time on.
Guest:They go, well, we want you to headline this weekend.
Guest:They go, who's your manager?
Guest:And I look at my father, and I go, well, he is.
Guest:And that's how the whole thing started.
Guest:But then at the comedy store, the act took me so far.
Marc:You never watched, you never saw Andy Kaufman or anything?
Marc:Like the transition thing?
Guest:Andy Kaufman I loved.
Guest:Right.
Guest:With the Elvis thing that's beyond belief.
Guest:Right.
Marc:That didn't influence you at all?
Guest:No.
Guest:Andy Kaufman didn't influence me.
Guest:The only one that did influence me was Jerry Lewis's movie.
Marc:It's so funny when you do the Jerry Lewis, your fucking face just turns into Jerry Lewis.
Guest:Well, you know, the glasses go down.
Guest:Actually, not to seem didactic or facetious in any way, Miss Brady.
Guest:You know?
Guest:And then you're turning into, you're going to die.
Guest:Listen to this.
Guest:You know, and then, you know, and then I started adding impressions like Stallone.
Guest:You know, I would do like Sly Stallone if he did Rocky in French.
Guest:Right, right, right, right.
Guest:You know, I'd be like, absolument.
Guest:You know, and then I would do the old-time Pacino before his voice changed.
Guest:Like now, like you see him in movies like Donnie Brasco, he's like, wise guy's always right.
Guest:Even when he's wrong, he's right.
Guest:But the old Pacino, you know, from Dog Day Afternoon is, I'm dying over here.
Guest:Serpico said, get those fucking cops away from the door.
Guest:I mean, he's completely changed.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Now he's just very explosive.
Marc:Everything's explosive.
Guest:It's a little weird.
Guest:When a man makes a handshake, a deal.
Guest:Yeah, no, I love Dean.
Guest:But what I'm getting at is that the characters I'd watch in film really affected me.
Guest:Not comedians.
Guest:Not comedians.
Guest:And when I came to the comedy store and realized, all right, no producer is buying me to play Jerry Lewis.
Guest:So I have to start becoming whatever I am on stage.
Guest:And I would watch all the comics.
Guest:Guys like, you know, at that time, from Seinfeld to Leno to... And they were all great.
Marc:Louis Anderson.
Guest:Louis Anderson.
Guest:They were all great.
Guest:But what I feel comedians are missing, that's why I don't think comics went to rock star status, was performance.
Guest:And that's what I got from Elvis.
Guest:Spectacle.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:you know theatrical and so after five six minutes i walk out of the room not because they were bad because i was bored and i decided if i'm going to stay in stand-up and develop this i want to create the most exciting stand-up ever i want to create the elvis of stand-up well okay so you know something more exciting we'll paint a picture of the comedy store at that time because i remember hanging around those hallways and seeing those pictures and who was in your like that that generation then when you got to how old were you 22
Marc:No, I was just 21.
Marc:So you get to the Comedy Store, 21, Mitzi's nuts, and she loves you, right?
Guest:Yeah, well, Mitzi, the night I met her, see, I didn't even give a fuck who she was, because I wasn't into comedy.
Guest:I didn't care.
Guest:Mitchell Walters.
Guest:None of it mattered.
Guest:Mitchell Walters saw me in Brooklyn.
Guest:Yeah, you like Mitchell, though, right?
Guest:Yeah, I love Mitchell.
Guest:Mitchell was the greatest joke writer ever.
Guest:And he...
Guest:was calling my father in the office.
Guest:We're doing process serving going, I talked to Mitzi about Andrew.
Guest:He's got to come out here.
Guest:She wants to see him.
Guest:I'm telling you, it'll be great for him.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:So when I get to the comedy store, you know, the auditions were supposed to be like five minutes, something like that.
Guest:I do 28 minutes.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Because I got a whole act I'm doing.
Guest:So this guy stops me when I come off stage.
Guest:And the thing about me is, like I tell people, good behavior really never came naturally to me.
Guest:Because of the way I grew up and everything.
Marc:What do you mean, you were a dick?
Guest:No, no, I was tough.
Guest:I had lots of fights.
Marc:Really, you used to get in fights?
Guest:Yeah, lots of them.
Guest:Yeah, and I didn't win them all, trust me.
Guest:I'm not saying I'm the toughest guy in the world, but I had no problem going toe-to-toe with anybody.
Guest:I had my nose busted.
Guest:I was put in the hospital a few times.
Marc:Just because of the streets of Brooklyn or what?
Guest:Yeah, that's all it was.
Guest:I wasn't a bully.
Guest:I was more of a tough guy.
Guest:When the bullies would fuck with me, I would take them apart, and that was it.
Marc:Were you a sports guy or anything?
Guest:No, not into sports.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But what happened was I do this 28-minute audition, and I'm coming off the stage, and this guy gets in my face and starts screaming at me.
Guest:And I'm still really fucking cocky, but at that time, my fuse was lit all the time.
Guest:And this guy goes, who the fuck you think you are doing 28 minutes?
Guest:And I'm going, all right, Andrew, you're not in Brooklyn.
Guest:You don't know this guy.
Guest:And I go, are you the owner?
Guest:You know?
Guest:Are you the owner of the club?
Guest:And he goes, no.
Guest:I go, then you should really just step to the side.
Guest:I go, that's your last warning.
Guest:Your final warning is when you're waking up.
Guest:And then I leave the comedy store.
Guest:And the next day, I get a call.
Guest:Mitzi wants to make you a regular.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, to be, you know, that's a big deal thing for people listening to become a regular at the Comedy Store is the same place from everywhere from Eddie Murphy to Richard Pryor to Steve Martin to Robin Williams to all the new guys coming up.
Guest:It's an honor.
Guest:I knew that much.
Guest:I'm not stupid.
Guest:Get your name on the wall.
Guest:So she sends me to the Westwood Comedy Store and I get a call there.
Guest:Mitzi wants to meet you.
Guest:I'm like, yeah, okay, what's the, you know, and they, no, you gotta come here now.
Guest:You didn't really understand the whole mythology.
Guest:No, no, no.
Marc:And I'm going, well, who the fuck is she?
Marc:Can't I see her tomorrow?
Marc:I'm with some chick, you know?
Marc:And you're the only guy that ever said that, I'm sure.
Marc:Everyone else is like, oh my God, Mitzi's coming.
Guest:No, but there was this lady, Estelle, that worked at the comedy store in Westwood.
Guest:She goes, no, Mitzi's the owner.
Guest:Go over there, say hello.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So, you know, I come there with this girl and my friends that live out in L.A.,
Guest:And she just looks at me and she goes, you're a real movie star.
Guest:You don't know that.
Guest:And she's standing with Mitchell Walters, August Hamilton, Ollie Jo Prada, Alan Stevens.
Guest:That was like her little group.
Guest:And I go, well, she goes, how long are you going to be here?
Guest:I go, well, I'm leaving, you know, like in a week.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And she goes, oh, no, you can't leave.
Guest:She goes, you're a movie star.
Guest:She goes, you look like Bugsy Siegel.
Guest:You know, she goes, you don't understand.
Guest:She goes, comics don't look like you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, I'm just telling you what she said.
Guest:I'm not bragging about anything.
Marc:No, no, no, no.
Guest:But did she try to fuck you?
Guest:No.
Guest:No.
Guest:That was the thing.
Guest:That was rare.
Guest:Well, you know what it was?
Guest:I was already going with her daughter a little.
Guest:Oh, you were?
Guest:Yeah, on the way to L.A., I stopped in La Jolla because my sister lived there with her husband.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I came to that comedy store because I figured I'll go on this night before I go to L.A.
Guest:And there was some bartender that goes, oh, you can't just, you know, come in and go on.
Guest:You got to talk to the owner.
Guest:And it was her daughter.
Marc:Sandy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So something started there that night.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, I got practicing for L.A.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so, yeah, Mitzi didn't try to do nothing.
Guest:And when I got involved at the comedy store, you know,
Guest:I love girls, and I would tell Mitzi, look, I really like your daughter, but I'm not looking to get married.
Guest:I didn't come out here to get married.
Guest:I came out here to make it.
Guest:And she goes, well, I don't see nothing.
Guest:What do you mean?
Guest:Meaning she don't see anything.
Guest:If I'm talking to a girl, I'm going, wow, that's a weird family.
Marc:you know what i mean the mother don't give a shit you know yeah but you know you know i was 21 you know i was knocking them down like dominoes you know you know that's what i would do you know yeah i do it's so funny because i saw you recently like i hadn't seen you in a long time and i and i since i worked the door really and then it like maybe a year ago you came in you did like 45 minutes in the or just straight up talking about going to staples and uh it was fucking hilarious
Guest:oh the uh yeah the shredder bit yeah yeah yeah you actually reminded me of a bit i haven't been doing oh you should do it it's no it's a great bit but it just takes so much time i get bored but it was very interesting though you know to see you with you know because i had this time lapse like i missed a whole chunk of your life and then you're just up there where you're at my kids getting school supplies right but it's a true story this guy came over
Guest:And he says to me like that, he goes, you know, they're having a sale on shredders, on paper shredders.
Guest:I'm going, do I know you?
Guest:Because I don't like strangers.
Guest:I'm not a people person that way.
Guest:And I said, do me a favor, walk away from me, okay?
Guest:I'm just waiting for my kids.
Guest:You know, and then he actually walked by again and said, he goes, they're really having a sale on shreds.
Guest:I'm going, but now I'm noticing the fucking shredders.
Guest:They're all stacked up.
Guest:So I figured, you know, maybe this guy knows what he's talking.
Guest:I don't even have paper to shred.
Guest:So I had to buy that.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:And when I got it home, I was like, how does this fucking thing work?
Guest:And when I put the piece of paper in, the noise it made was so fucking angry.
Guest:Then I go, this is fucking great.
Guest:Then I did.
Guest:I started putting in CDs.
Guest:Everything.
Guest:And the next thing you know, I'm in a fucking sweat.
Guest:that I drew a face on the fucking shredder, like a mad looking face with the fucking jagged teeth.
Guest:And I'm going, you motherfucker, you eat it all.
Guest:And my kids all of a sudden were in the doorway going, dad, what are you doing?
Guest:I go, what am I doing?
Guest:You're the one that wanted me to go to Staples.
Guest:Look at how much fun I'm having with this fucking thing.
Guest:Let me have a good time.
Guest:The angry shredder.
Guest:But I do like taking my reality and making it funny.
Guest:That's what I like to work on.
Guest:No, it was great.
Marc:So how did the thing, okay, so let's go back to where you're at Pips, you're doing the Travolta thing and the Jerry Lewis thing, you come out here, Mitzi loves you.
Marc:How did the Dyson became a huge star evolve with the nursery rhymes and everything else?
Guest:Well, what happened, that was when I first started, you know, being Dice on stage.
Guest:What happened was I really didn't have any material yet.
Guest:I would just practice in my mirror.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because it was more about the image I'm going to present.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And Dice is really a heightened version of who I am as a Brooklyn guy.
Marc:Right.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Right.
Guest:Because when you're on stage, it's all to me about animation and putting on a show for people that they walk out and no matter who they've seen, they remember that guy in the leather jacket.
Marc:With the cigarette lighter and everything.
Guest:So I lit my cigarette and I had no material and I looked at the crowd and I didn't say anything.
Guest:And I took a puff of the cigarette
Guest:Like I'm doing now.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I say, you know, I've been up here for about, I don't know, two minutes.
Guest:Haven't told you any jokes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:With a straight face.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:but I sort of just been smoking a cigarette.
Guest:But you see, I could come on a stage and not tell any jokes and sort of just smoke a cigarette for a minute or two and keep your attention.
Guest:And the reason I could do that as well, the fact is, I'm just that fucking good.
Guest:And it got applause and I walked off.
Guest:and then the act started building.
Guest:I started, you know, I actually would take some jokes from joke books, you know, and then I started developing the act.
Guest:And that didn't bother you though.
Guest:What, taking jokes from joke books?
Guest:I was, in my opinion, a new comic trying to find material, you know, and it was like,
Guest:Jokes like, you know, because Dice loves himself so much.
Guest:Dice is all about confidence.
Guest:See, most comics back then were all about insecurity.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But Dice is secure.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:A lot of comics, when you talk to them, why'd you get into comedy?
Guest:To get girls.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, because think of the comics through history.
Guest:Guys like Buddy Hackett.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, Buddy Hackett wasn't scoring tens when he was a kid.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:I loved him.
Guest:Don Rickles, the funniest guy in the world.
Guest:But comics were goofball-looking guys.
Guest:They weren't like handsome movie stars.
Guest:So my whole thing was about having the confidence.
Guest:So I had these jokes about being my own idol.
Guest:You know, like, yeah, I got my own toll-free number, 1-800-PERFECT.
Guest:I get up three, four hours earlier to spend more time with myself.
Guest:I got a mirror above my bed, so I'm the first one I see when I get up in the fucking morning.
Guest:You know, it was jokes like that.
Guest:And then I started developing, because of the fact I was living in Hollywood, you know, the whole gay community thing.
Guest:I didn't really see that in Brooklyn.
Guest:And I had nothing against gays, but I'm going, what a great target for a Brooklyn tough guy.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know, the way the women acted out here, you know, when I would go out with a girl in Brooklyn, I was a complete gentleman.
Guest:You know, if I went out with a girl for six months, for the first three months, I wouldn't even try to touch a fucking tit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, complete respect.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then I move out to L.A., and there was a whole different set of rules out here, my friend.
Guest:It was like, I would try to be nice to a girl, and they'd go, do you live near here?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I go, yeah, well, I'm right up the hill.
Guest:You want... No, I'm not even hungry.
Guest:Next thing you know, my balls are banging into her little fat fucking ass.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I'm looking at the most sweet, angelic-looking face going, I can't believe... I would have went out with this girl for a year to get some, and she's giving it to me within the hour.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And saying the filthiest things I've ever heard, and I'm going, okay, so that's how the game is played here.
Marc:Do you feel that that diminished your respect for women?
Marc:No, I have complete respect for women.
Guest:I got a friend that came over to me, right?
Guest:And this isn't long ago.
Guest:And he tells me about a girl he went out with.
Guest:And I go, so how'd the date go?
Guest:He goes, well, I fucked her, but I'll never see her again.
Guest:And I'm like, well, why not?
Guest:And he goes, well, she was a real pig.
Guest:She fucked me on the first date.
Guest:I go...
Guest:Yeah, but what if you're the only guy she ever did that with?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:What if she dug you so much that she felt the need to do that with you?
Guest:So how's that girl going to feel now knowing she gave everything to you and now you don't want to talk to her?
Guest:You thought she was sweet when you met her, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:She acted nice, right?
Guest:You had a great time.
Guest:So he wound up marrying her.
Guest:Really?
Guest:I'm not even kidding.
Guest:That's hilarious.
Guest:Yeah, so it's not about disrespect.
Guest:It's about...
Guest:Taking I love, you know, picking on couples in the front.
Guest:I could see the couples that are really into being with each other.
Guest:I could see the couples that have nothing in common anymore, you know, and I like to take sex and paint pictures.
Guest:And but comedic pictures of sex.
Guest:That's why I come up with names like this.
Guest:So you take your dick and you put it in a jerk pocket.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, things that haven't been said, you know, because the picture in this jerk pocket, you know, it's comedic.
Guest:But, you know, you know, we live in a world where you could touch one button on your computer and you see
Guest:Things that I never even thought of.
Guest:No.
Guest:The filthiest fucking things.
Guest:Like, I don't even like going to that.
Guest:And the only time I've seen them is when somebody will turn a computer on and show it to me.
Guest:You're not a porn guy.
Guest:Because I don't want to get... No, I got nothing against porn, but there's overload.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Everybody's got that little private stock.
Marc:But you're not prepared to take in that much shit.
Guest:Well, you know what?
Guest:I don't want to because I don't want to get polluted.
Guest:And that's what I taught my kids about when they were five.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because I remember... You told him not to watch porn?
Guest:Well, I remember Max coming home because he's four years older than Dylan.
Guest:And a friend of his showed him stuff on the computer.
Guest:I go, look, there's nothing wrong with sex and you're going to have plenty of it.
Guest:But what they're putting out there will dement your mind.
Guest:Right.
Guest:It's not normal sex.
Guest:It's the filthiest stuff.
Guest:And I don't want my kids.
Guest:I go, you could lie to me and go to it, but you'll pollute your own mind.
Guest:And I happen to have...
Guest:really good boys that listen to their father and they don't go to it.
Guest:And that's the bottom line.
Guest:And now, you know what?
Guest:I walked into my other son's room.
Guest:He's watching on HBO the vampire show.
Guest:I walk in and all I see is a guy's face.
Guest:And then it cuts back and there's a girl hopping up and down on him.
Guest:But it don't mean anything to him now.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Because it's like sex in a show rather than a bulldog fucking every hole a girl's got.
Marc:I don't need them seeing that shit.
Marc:I think I wish someone would have told me not to because I think it does fuck your head up.
Marc:But let's talk about the crucifixion of Dice.
Marc:And, you know, at the turn of the, like, when you, because, like, I'm one of these guys.
Marc:I have a lot of respect.
Marc:You spawned a whole generation of comics.
Marc:You know, you got Rich Voss.
Marc:You got Jim Norton.
Marc:You got Florentine.
Marc:You got guys that looked up.
Guest:Jameson, Don Jameson.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Guys who sort of, like, took your model and understood what you were about and pushing the envelope and being, you know, just sort of a politically incorrect fucking clown on some level.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Guest:I used to call myself a Brooklyn bozo.
Guest:I go, how come the press doesn't get that?
Guest:Well, I never understood it either.
Guest:You know, when I'm watching Nightline and they're having a debate about me, I'm going, don't they understand I'm just a comic?
Guest:Why'd they pick you?
Guest:Well, you know what?
Guest:I went to such a level to, you know, I was doing...
Guest:you know, close to 100,000 people a week in concert.
Guest:And that scared the media.
Guest:So I became a lightning rod for every group looking for their own attention.
Guest:So if I picked on the gays, the gays would attack me.
Guest:They'd get their attention.
Guest:The women's, the now movement,
Guest:You know, and I remember I was at a restaurant on Sunset.
Guest:What the fuck is that?
Guest:Mirror Bells.
Guest:And this woman who runs now walked over to me and goes, now I'm not supposed to say this, but I'm a big fan of yours.
Guest:And I'm like, look at this.
Guest:Because I was with, at that time, my ex-wife.
Guest:You know, going, look at this.
Guest:They were a big fan, but yet they're using me to get all this publicity for now.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It just became insane.
Marc:I couldn't understand because like out of guys saying stuff about women or saying stuff about gays, yours were sort of disarmed by the fact that you do this character.
Marc:And I really couldn't understand it.
Guest:Well, I will tell you, as the media attacked me more, I did get more vicious because it became almost, I didn't even enjoy my own concerts because it became more political than a joke.
Marc:So that when you did the first, when the laughter died, that record?
Guest:No, no, the day the laughter died.
Guest:I was doing such big places.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, that I wanted to do a concept, the ultimate late night comedy album, which is called The Day the Laughter Die.
Marc:It's great.
Guest:And what happened was it's the only double CD ever by a comic.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But there's like no audience.
Guest:There's like 15 people.
Guest:I did it at Rodney Dangerfield's Club in Manhattan.
Guest:And the whole idea was that I don't even think about material.
Guest:I just come up with stuff.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Do you like that record?
Guest:Do I like it?
Guest:That record went gold in less than a week.
Guest:You know, Mitzi said, she listened to a part of it in my house and said, it's going to ruin your career.
Guest:And that's when I knew how big it was going to be.
Guest:you know because she's going andrew you're doing the the la forum you know she goes why would you do this i go because it's never been i go nobody ever did that when people would walk out on me you hear it on the album and fans just went crazy from it and yeah i take a lot of pride in that album we actually did the day to laugh to die part two rick rubin did those right yeah i did five albums with him yeah
Guest:You know, and they've gone gold.
Guest:They've gone platinum.
Guest:You know, the only one that was outselling me with albums at time was Jeff Foxworthy.
Marc:Right.
Guest:But just in his part of the country.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So he didn't even get it.
Marc:So you were taking all this heat and all this bullshit.
Marc:And then you go on Arsenio, who you knew from the comedy store.
Marc:And I got choked up.
Guest:I know what you're getting.
Marc:Well, no, and I'm just wondering what you thought and how that affected the art of it.
Guest:No, but what happened, it really didn't affect it.
Guest:What happened is Ford Fairlane was coming out the next day.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And like I said, I'm a guy about accomplishment.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I always wanted to do something special with my life.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And since I'm a kid, I knew I was going to do that.
Guest:I mean, a really young kid.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, like, even when I'd be in high school and I'd be failing everything.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, my mother would go, Andrew, what are you going to do when you get out of school?
Guest:And I'm going, look at the face, Ma.
Yeah.
Guest:What do you think?
Guest:I'll be a movie star.
Guest:Don't worry about it.
Guest:You'll have everything you need.
Guest:And that's how I really felt.
Guest:And did you give her everything she needed?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:My family... See, I have this expression that you have to always have a reason to be.
Guest:And my reason to be back then was the family that brought me up.
Guest:My parents.
Marc:Because everybody always said you were good with money.
Marc:You saved money.
Guest:Well, the thing was, I just wanted to give them everything they ever dreamed of.
Guest:And I did.
Guest:And then, you know...
Guest:You know, when you have kids and you have a wife, that's the new reason.
Guest:You know, now I have a new wife.
Guest:You know, and I got my sons that I want to teach them by example.
Guest:And that's why about two years ago is when I did start planning a whole resurgence.
Guest:You know, and then every time I come on Arsenio, instead of me being allowed to just be funny, it was another debate.
Guest:Okay, so I just wanted to get up and tell people who I really was and what I was about and how, you know, if you have this thing in you, this desire to accomplish something that no dream is unattainable, but I was just being me and I got choked up.
Guest:So the only way to get out of it
Guest:was to snap into character.
Guest:And I'm standing there going, I can't believe I'm getting fucking choked up because I always tell my kids, I go, sensitivity is my weakness.
Guest:I go, sensitivity to me is like kryptonite to Superman.
Guest:I go, it just creeps up on me and I don't feel it.
Guest:You mean you're sentimental?
Guest:Yeah, I'm very sentimental.
Guest:And I got my first gigantic movie coming out the next day, starring in it.
Guest:And I just wanted to let people know, I'm like you.
Guest:But I had this dream, and I'm saying it.
Guest:I'm not just coming on and going, yeah, believe in yourself, all the bullshit.
Guest:I really do believe.
Guest:that you could accomplish in life, whatever that thing is you want to accomplish.
Guest:But you got to put the work in and you got to put blinders on, not let anything get in your way.
Marc:Where do you stand on like, because I interviewed Jimmy Norton and Patrice and I love those guys.
Marc:And now there's a lot of conversation about what jokes should be or shouldn't be or political correctness.
Marc:But it seems that what you came upon your thing was sort of organic.
Marc:How do you answer to that shit?
Guest:But the thing is, that's what why it's called jokes, because jokes are just to make people laugh.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Some of the stuff on stage, you know, I try to make a point with some of the stuff on stage.
Guest:I say just to outrage and make people laugh really hard.
Guest:You know, I do a joke where I come on stage and go.
Guest:So last night I'm with this Puerto Rican chick.
Guest:I fucked her so hard.
Guest:Her asshole popped out.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know.
Guest:Did that really happen?
Guest:Can an asshole really pop out?
Guest:I think so.
Guest:Like, if I was, you know, a journalist, would I even ask that question?
Marc:But did you ever feel like you ever hurt anybody?
Marc:Did anyone ever come up to you and go, you know, you're really... No, never.
Guest:Never.
Marc:People love what I do.
Marc:Gay people, women, nobody.
Guest:Gay people love dice.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:You know, it just became the thing in the late 80s to go after dice.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:You know?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, I could sit here and go, I have gay friends.
Guest:I have gay things.
Guest:And I do.
Guest:But I'm not trying to prove anything.
Guest:They're just my friends.
Marc:And when I met you, like you and Kennison, there was this sort of like, you know, he was doing his thing.
Marc:He was starting to do big rooms.
Marc:You were doing big rooms.
Marc:And there was like, it almost felt like these two camps.
Marc:You know, you had your guys.
Guest:Well, see, well, look.
Guest:Sam is not here to speak for himself.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:My opinion about him.
Guest:He was an absolute great comedian.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I loved what he did.
Guest:And I'll never forget, I was doing a television show called Crime Story with Michael Mann at the time.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And so I was more in the acting thing is what was going on.
Guest:So Sam didn't feel threatened by me.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But you knew each other.
Guest:You knew each other, though.
Guest:No, we were friends.
Guest:We used to hang out when we were coming up.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But Sam got into drugs, alcohol, everything that I would tell somebody not to get into, and he just did it all.
Marc:You never did anything.
Guest:No, that wasn't my thing.
Guest:If you ask me, did I ever smoke a joint?
Guest:Yeah, of course.
Guest:But I would never even think of things like Coke or...
Guest:I was never a heavy drinker at all.
Guest:My world was about get there.
Guest:Do something with your life.
Guest:You sucked in school.
Guest:I don't even know how I graduated high school.
Guest:So do something with your life.
Guest:Do something positive.
Guest:So I knew drugs would knock me down and that was it.
Guest:I never even tried that shit.
Guest:So what happened with Sam was, I'll never forget when he got Saturday Night Live and I came over to him in the kitchen at a comedy store and I hugged him and I said, you see, it could be done.
Guest:You see, you could get there because we were the last two on every night.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Back to back.
Guest:And we were friends.
Marc:She did that on purpose, right?
Guest:Well, it was such a great show.
Guest:I mean, with two animals, you know.
Guest:And then when Rodney put me on his special.
Guest:What year was that?
Guest:88.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:When Rodney, I actually took a full page ad in Variety two days before the special ad to let the industry know I was going to be the biggest thing in the world.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:You said that?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, at the end of this whole long poem I wrote on a full page, I said, Murphy and Pryor are great, no doubt.
Guest:But in 88, it's dice they'll shout.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, I go, I never studied much in school, but I did study.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, and I predicted it because I wanted the industry to watch.
Guest:And I knew what I did on the Rodney special and I was prepared to do it.
Guest:And I knew nobody else would even it would all be everybody else was just background.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, I came on there to become the biggest comic in the world.
Guest:Rodney knew it, and I knew it.
Guest:I didn't want to play 3,000-seaters.
Guest:I wanted to play the biggest rooms that I could fill.
Marc:When did you do Madison Square Garden?
Guest:The Garden was 90, but I did, you know, over 300 arena shows.
Guest:My first arena tour was, I think, 26 shows, and it sold out in a day.
Marc:And it was all because of the Rodney special.
Guest:Well, yeah, I went right from doing 200 seat clubs to in concert like that.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:I mean, even the agent I had at the time didn't believe I could fill an arena because the biggest place I played in New York was Town Hall.
Guest:And my agent at the time, Dennis Arthur, he had guys like Billy Joel, Metallica.
Guest:Those are the guys that do those things.
Guest:And I called him up because I never went to concerts as a kid.
Guest:And I said, what would be a place like Madison Square Garden, but not Madison Square Garden?
Guest:And he goes, well, you got National Coliseum out in Long Island, but comics don't do that.
Guest:Guys like Billy do that, meaning Billy Joel.
Guest:I go, yeah, but what if one did?
Guest:So Ron Delzner said, look, I'm not going to put any money down on him, but I'll give you 90%, you know, of what we make.
Guest:I sold it out in an hour and a half.
Guest:Holy shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I went from 1,500 seats to now 18,000.
Guest:And by the time that was sold out, every promoter in the country was calling my agent.
Guest:They didn't know if I was a singer, a juggler.
Guest:All they knew was this guy, you know, sold out.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Nassau Coliseum.
Marc:Did you go on Stern and stuff?
Guest:Yeah, of course.
Guest:That's where we fell in love.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Because to this day, we have a chemistry that's unreal.
Guest:Whether we fight, whether we're friends, it just works.
Guest:So what happened with Sam, to make a long story short, he was playing like 3,000-seaters, which is superstardom for a comic.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:But I went into 18 and 20,000-seaters.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And it drove him crazy.
Guest:And it wrecked his career, in my opinion, because...
Guest:fans were listening going what's his problem with dice right they're like from the same school you know and but you know i i always looked at it was the drugs it was the alcohol it was you know and but you know i wish he was still walking around i'll put it to you that way yeah yeah i do miss the guy because today we would be touring together you know that's
Guest:the story there.
Guest:And I used to actually get mad at him because even the guys that would like work for me that weren't even comics, I would look to build them up on different shows like Stern.
Guest:And when Sam was on there, he wouldn't talk about Carl.
Guest:He wouldn't talk about any of the outlaws.
Guest:Even when he was on Carson, he didn't even introduce them.
Guest:And I'm like, those are your fucking guys.
Guest:Like Carl LeBeau to me, one of the greatest comics.
Marc:Yeah, absolutely.
Guest:I mean, he does every kind of character, and I'm like, that's your best fucking friend.
Guest:Why aren't you building this fucking guy?
Guest:That's the shit I don't like.
Marc:Well, you had a lot of guys.
Marc:You had guys that were loyal to you, and you had guys.
Marc:Everybody had a nickname.
Marc:There was always four or five guys.
Marc:Yeah, I used to say to Schubert, I'm like, I don't know if I can hang around.
Guest:My publicist here, Jeff Abraham, right?
Guest:You know who his nickname is?
Guest:What?
Guest:Johnny Aces.
Guest:You had Hot Tub?
Guest:Yeah, but now I got new guys.
Guest:I don't even talk about those guys.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Who are the new guys?
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Who are the new guys?
Guest:We got new guys.
Guest:Well, we got Ruby.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:All right.
Guest:Now it's time to talk about entourage your figure.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:So this is the career research.
Guest:You know, it was my son that told me about you.
Guest:Well, I'm glad he said you got the greatest podcast in the world.
Marc:Well, it's all about comedy.
Marc:He listens to you all the time.
Marc:Oh, good.
Guest:You know, so you'll have to when he's ready.
Guest:I got to meet him.
Guest:You'll love him.
Guest:Where does he work?
Guest:You know what?
Guest:He goes to all these- The alternative rooms?
Guest:Yeah, he has all these little clubs, and then he'll do the comedy store.
Guest:But he's working on the act.
Guest:He's building the act.
Marc:I wonder if I've seen him.
Marc:He goes by Max Silverstein?
Guest:Max Silverstein, yeah.
Guest:Shit.
Guest:And he's really great.
Marc:You've got to put me in touch with him.
Guest:Okay, I will.
Marc:I will.
Marc:All right, so now all of a sudden the divorce kind of crushed you.
Marc:You did your family thing.
Marc:You're coming around.
Guest:You're doing the spots.
Guest:Okay, so for 10 years, I'm banging around just looking to make a living this past decade.
Marc:Was it pathetic, though?
Guest:Was what pathetic?
Marc:In your mind, did you feel compromised when you did the reality show?
Marc:Were you really down for the count?
Guest:I always look at myself, there were two things I look at.
Guest:I look at the Elvis of comedy, but also the Rocky Balboa comedy.
Guest:Because the thing about the Rocky movies,
Guest:that I always loved they of course the fights were great yeah but it was the life stories he was trying to show throughout that series of Rocky yeah you know and every story you know the first one is about you know what's he gonna do with his life and he gets the shot of a lifetime which Rodney gave me yeah you know to become a champion sure
Guest:You know, and then even, you know, the one where he moves back home.
Guest:Oh, I don't like Rocky IV because, you know, he doesn't do the big fight.
Guest:I go, but look what somebody goes through.
Guest:You lose all your money.
Guest:You got to go back to the old neighborhood.
Guest:That's what happened to me.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:You were broke.
Guest:And then, but yeah, definitely.
Guest:I'm not saying I'm walking around wealthy.
Guest:Trust me on that.
Guest:I don't even have sleeves anymore after divorce.
Guest:So anyway, you know, then Rocky VI comes out called Rocky Balboa.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And that one, he has an argument with his own son, and he goes, what's so bad in your life?
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Things aren't going so good, so you want to blame me now?
Guest:He goes, don't you know what life is?
Guest:It's not about how hard you could get hit.
Guest:Wait, let me say it properly.
Guest:It's not how hard you hit, it's how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.
Guest:That's what life's about.
Guest:But that is what life's about, that you don't give up on you.
Guest:Because in that last Rocky, he's older, wants to fight again, and obviously he gets in the ring, and no matter how old he is, you see, he's still the same champ he always was.
Marc:Did you ever go through a period where you were afraid?
Marc:I mean, I watched it for a few episodes of the reality show.
Marc:I didn't know what was going on.
Guest:The reality show stunk, in my opinion, because my own kids, who were five years younger, so that means one of my kids, Max was 15, and Dylan was 11, okay?
Guest:So we watched this rough episode of a rough cut of, they called it the image change.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, which I hated.
Guest:You know, they're putting me in Metro sexual clothes.
Guest:They put a grill in my teeth.
Guest:You know, and my son said it the best.
Guest:They look at the producers.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because I had all this footage that they could have cut into seven episodes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I filmed my whole life like a reality show.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And that's how I wanted the show.
Guest:And, you know, once VH1 gave them money, they soaked the money, and the show stunk.
Guest:And my kids looked at them and go, let me ask you something, because my kids were into rock and roll too.
Right.
Guest:And they go, if you did a show with Axl, you know, with Axl Rose, wouldn't you just let him be Axl?
Marc:Right.
Guest:Why are you trying to change Andrew Dice Clay to something he's not?
Marc:They wanted a story.
Guest:Yeah, like, I didn't mind showing him a family guy.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:But let me be who I am on a day-to-day basis.
Guest:Don't make the shit up.
Guest:We don't have to make it up.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:My life is fucking insane.
Marc:But did you have a time where you were like, fuck, I'm fucked?
Guest:There were times, you know, Eleanor Kerrigan's my ex-fiancee, and to me, the greatest female stand-up in the country.
Guest:She opens for me all over the country.
Guest:And at that time, we were just boyfriend and girlfriend.
Guest:And there were times I'd say, you know, I don't know which way to turn anymore.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Just nothing's working.
Guest:But that's the Rocky in me because anybody else would have folded under my circumstances.
Marc:There's nowhere to go, though.
Marc:Where the hell are you going to go?
Guest:Well, you know what?
Guest:I started writing a book.
Guest:I started working on new material because I knew the day would come that once my kids were a few years old, I could pursue the career again.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:So you knew that.
Guest:There was never sort of like, I guess I'm going to work at a place.
Guest:No, no, no, no, no.
Guest:I'm not working a gym like that asshole on CNN said...
Guest:Oh, I don't know, I missed that one.
Guest:Oh, you gotta look it up.
Guest:It's got millions and millions of hits.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I do a CNN interview, this was a couple years ago, and this asshole of a human being, right, looks at me, his first question is, you know, he goes, well, weren't you working in a gym for a while?
Guest:You know, you used to be a headline guy, and I'm like, I was doing the Beacon the next night, completely sold out.
Guest:Right, in New York, yeah.
Guest:And I look at this guy, and I get mad.
Guest:I go, where the fuck do you get your information?
Guest:Because it's CNN.
Guest:You're supposed to...
Guest:They're the biggest news company in the world.
Guest:I've sold more tickets than any comic ever in history.
Guest:That's what I take credit for.
Guest:And you're asking if I was in a fucking gym working there?
Guest:Yeah, I was cleaning the toilets and sweeping the floors.
Guest:I wanted to bend him over, fuck him in the ass, and paint tits on his back.
Guest:He's lucky I didn't drag him over that fucking desk and give him the beating of a life to show such disrespect.
Guest:That's the shit that when somebody comes at me and doesn't ask real questions... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:I'll fucking annihilate him because I got a tongue like a razor.
Guest:And that's my gift.
Guest:And I threw the fucking mic at him and I walked off, asshole guy.
Marc:So how'd the entourage scene come around?
Guest:Okay, so...
Guest:I'm going to try to say this.
Marc:Ten years, you're sort of in the wilderness.
Guest:Okay, so now recession hits.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Okay, I got a new wife, Valerie, who's a lot younger than me, just gorgeous.
Marc:Let's talk about that.
Marc:How much younger?
Marc:My girlfriend's 28.
Marc:I'm 47.
Marc:Where are you?
Guest:I'm 53.
Guest:She's 27.
Guest:Yeah, it's a big difference, but it works.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:It works for me, I'll tell you that much.
Guest:Jesus, fuck.
Guest:If you saw the fucking night I had last night, it's fucking beyond belief what goes on in my bedroom.
Guest:I love her.
Guest:I fucking love her.
Guest:I love you, honey.
Guest:I'm coming home to do it in the afternoon now.
Guest:no no she's just yeah it's not just the sex we just relate to each other you know of course it starts off with the attraction i mean she's mexican italian and jewish i mean what a fucking blend jesus fucking christ that's like brooklyn let me tell you something you gotta like what you're looking at when you roll over in the morning i'm telling you that right now just man to man because if you don't want to pummel them fat ass cheeks with your balls yeah
Guest:Right?
Guest:There's nothing happening between you.
Guest:And it's always got to be there.
Guest:I don't care if you're together for a year or 20 years.
Marc:Because at least you have that.
Marc:Whatever happens, you got that.
Guest:You got to keep it alive.
Guest:So if sometimes you're not going through it mentally together, you got to have the physical thing.
Guest:And if the physical thing, because with marriage, that does go up and down.
Marc:How long have you been married?
Guest:Only a year and a half.
Guest:So, you know, I mean, it's an everyday affair.
Guest:You know, I always believed to treat a wife like a girlfriend.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:You're not scared at all?
Guest:No.
Guest:I'm crazy about it.
Marc:Oh, good.
Guest:You know, that's what I'm saying.
Guest:I'm always optimistic.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:I don't believe it can't work.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Even though I've had a couple failed marriages, that doesn't mean one can't work.
Guest:I'm with you.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:I'm looking for a third.
Guest:So I'm putting my best foot forward, and so is she.
Guest:And yeah, of course, you know, if I were a Mexican girl, duck.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's all I could tell you.
Guest:Just fucking duck.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, because she does go toe to fucking toe.
Guest:But I look at that gorgeous.
Guest:The minute I met her, she's got like the Marilyn Monroe eyes.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You know, and I'm like, that's it.
Guest:I'm sunk.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Well, that's good, man.
Marc:I'm glad you got love and happiness.
Guest:So what happened is, I'm playing these little places in Vegas.
Guest:And, you know, with the recession, I'm not making that much money.
Guest:I can't even pay my bills for the month.
Guest:So I had a house in Hollywood, so I sold it.
Guest:And not to make a deal, but the ex puts like a court order lien on it.
Guest:So I can't touch the money.
Guest:I got no money.
Guest:So I go on a gambling spree in Vegas.
Guest:Because I used to play blackjack a lot.
Guest:And I'm talking, you know, for millions of dollars up and back.
Guest:So I had about eight grand.
Guest:Were you a compulsive gambler?
Guest:No, I gambled out of boredom.
Guest:But I was really fucking good at it.
Guest:And I could sit down and win a half a million dollars and, you know,
Marc:You know, two shoes.
Marc:So you got eight grand.
Guest:You know, so I got eight grand.
Guest:We're going to Vegas.
Guest:Me, my wife, the kids.
Guest:And I go, look, I'm going to have to gamble.
Guest:You know, I'm just not making enough.
Guest:And in the short run, I can make a lot of money.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, so to make a long story short, shorter.
Guest:We live hangover the whole summer.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'm talking, I was winning hundreds of thousands of dollars, buying cars, buying clothes, paying bills, and then by the end of the summer, I lose just about all of it.
Guest:So you just were on a gambling tear.
Guest:Yeah, but we were in every fucking suite.
Guest:Every hotel had a suite for me.
Marc:Were you working?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:But what I was making at the tables was like what I was making...
Guest:You know, performing for the week, it didn't cut.
Guest:You know, I sit at the table, make 100 grand for the day.
Guest:Holy shit.
Guest:Yeah, it was stupid money.
Marc:What size hands are you playing?
Guest:Well, I'm playing between $5,000 and $15,000 a hand.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So I would look to do it quick and then go to the pool and get the massages and eat in the restaurants and go out dancing with my wife at night after the shows.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was insane.
Guest:And then I lose most of the money, right?
Guest:After three months?
Guest:Yeah, so I come back to LA.
Guest:I would call Jeff here and go, all right, maybe we'll shoot a special.
Guest:Let me go win another 100 grand.
Guest:I'll call you in an hour.
Guest:And what did he tell you?
Guest:What would I tell you, Jeff?
Guest:Come here.
Guest:What would I tell you?
Guest:He'd say, it's one o'clock.
Guest:I'll call you at 2.30.
Guest:Pick a number.
Guest:I'd go, 75,000.
Guest:He called me in an hour.
Guest:He goes, 100.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I would also lose.
Guest:That's the thing with gambling.
Guest:It's not like performing.
Guest:You know, you got to be willing to lose everything to win.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:If you're going to play scared, you're going to lose.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know, but through the summer, things got crazy.
Guest:You look away from the cards for a minute, you ruin it, and you're losing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, that's a gambler.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:So you became a gambler.
Guest:So, yeah, I became a gambler again.
Guest:So I come back from the whole summer.
Guest:And I say to my wife, I go, look, I'm going over to Starbucks to meet Max.
Guest:I don't want to know from show business, bills, anything.
Guest:I'm just burnt.
Guest:So this guy comes walking over to me, who I haven't seen in 14 years at the time.
Guest:This is last September.
Guest:His name is Bruce Rubenstein.
Guest:Call him Ruby, a.k.a.
Guest:the sergeant, right?
Guest:So he goes down.
Guest:And Bruce... What did he do?
Guest:Well, what he was doing when I ran into him again...
Guest:He was doing artwork and construction.
Guest:But Bruce is a very smart guy.
Guest:Bruce worked for Mickey Rourke for about 15 years.
Guest:Bruce wrote the movie Bullet with Mickey and Tupac.
Guest:I mean, he's a very bright guy.
Guest:He wasn't like Mickey's Flunky or something.
Guest:Was he a gambler too?
Guest:No, no, no, no.
Guest:Bruce, I haven't seen him in years.
Guest:He was there.
Guest:Yeah, he just came walking up to Starbucks.
Guest:I haven't seen him in years.
Guest:So the next day I call him, we meet for coffee again.
Guest:We're just hanging out, and he's playing with his Blackberry like everybody.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was actually getting mad at him, just constantly looking at the fucking phone.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because that's what people fucking do today.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's why I don't even go to parties today because of the phone.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because people don't talk about anything other than, oh, look at my YouTube.
Guest:What are you, a fucking astronaut?
Guest:Just tell me.
Guest:You're right in front of it.
Guest:This is people today.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So...
Guest:So the second day I'm with Bruce, he's talking to me.
Guest:He goes, Dice, I got to be honest.
Guest:Last time I see you, you're one of the biggest comics in the world.
Guest:And then I hear nothing.
Guest:You're just gone.
Guest:And so I told him about what the past decade was, bringing up my kids, the divorce, whatever.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So he goes, why don't you ever do like a walk on like on Entourage or something?
Guest:I go, you know what?
Guest:It just never happened.
Guest:And he goes, well, all I could tell you is Doug Allen just loves you, thinks you're the greatest comic ever, you know, and wants a meeting.
Guest:I go, how do you know?
Guest:He goes, because I'm emailing with him right now.
Guest:and he's flying in from texas he went to some game there some sports game change your attitude about phones that's so bad so so so so actually the meeting doesn't happen till the next day yeah you know and i figure okay great maybe i'll have a walk on right i've been a fan of the show from the first season
Marc:It was familiar to you, I guess, huh?
Guest:Really familiar.
Guest:I mean, I knew every episode.
Guest:Yeah, right.
Marc:But the life is kind of familiar to you, too, right?
Guest:Well, the whole, yeah.
Guest:Like, I would even ask Doug, like, how do you know about all this stuff?
Guest:We'd have those conversations, you know, because it's really true to life what those guys live.
Guest:The parasites coming in to your fucking life, trying to get what they can out of you, all that shit.
Marc:You had that happen, right?
Guest:I had it happen from every... I used to walk into the comedy store handing out thousands.
Guest:This guy's coming over.
Guest:My wife's on her last leg.
Guest:Can you give me five grand?
Guest:Why?
Guest:Why is it up to me?
Guest:But I would do it.
Guest:I call it the Elvis syndrome.
Guest:Buy people cars, shit like that.
Marc:Maybe you got a big heart, too, huh?
Guest:Well, you know what?
Guest:I'm not bragging about what I do that way.
Guest:It's just what I would do.
Guest:So what happened was after I met with Doug, Doug asked for my email, and we start emailing.
Guest:We start having meetings.
Guest:And I call Bruce, and I go, Bruce, this might be bigger than you thought.
Guest:So we start hanging out through the winter.
Guest:Next thing you know, I get an offer to do Entourage, but not just a walk-on, a whole character arc thing, playing Andrew Dice Clay.
Guest:And actually, my son Max winds up in it, too, with me.
Guest:And all of a sudden, everything starts coming up.
Guest:you know because you know as doug was emailing me you're just killing it hbo is loving you and it's funny because hbo is the network that made me a star you know and through the winter now bruce has become my manager it's like a real true hollywood story yeah i mean here's a guy that would go dice i i gotta get up in the morning and dig a trench around this house i'm working on yeah
Guest:You know, and I'm going, four months from now, there's no more trenches.
Guest:And just to tell you how things are going, I mean, this show hasn't even aired yet.
Guest:You know, I'm in a bunch of the last season.
Guest:And, you know, I'll never forget Doug saying to me, he goes, look.
Guest:He goes, I want to blow you through the fucking roof.
Guest:He goes...
Guest:He goes, if you never do another show, you're the biggest stand-up.
Guest:And I'm not talking about sitcoms or movies like Eddie Murphy.
Guest:I mean, to me, Eddie's one of the biggest movie stars ever.
Guest:I'm talking about straight stand-up in concert.
Guest:I mean, I did the Rose Bowl with Guns N' Roses.
Guest:It's 100,000 people.
Guest:So that's what Doug was talking about.
Guest:He goes, and I just want to blow you through the fucking roof.
Guest:Doug Allen, I call him my Quentin Tarantino.
Guest:Because what Quentin did for John Travolta with Pulp Fiction, that's how Doug is taking me on.
Marc:So you're getting ready to do the act again in bigger rooms and stuff.
Guest:Well, I'll put it to you this way.
Guest:We just booked Cyclone Stadium.
Guest:It's a ballpark in Brooklyn.
Marc:Oh, good.
Guest:You know, I'm doing it October 1st.
Guest:Oh, that's great.
Guest:It's not on sale yet.
Marc:Well, that's great, man.
Guest:Congratulations.
Guest:So we're going back into the stadium thing.
Marc:That's great.
Marc:Who are you bringing to open?
Guest:Eleanor's going to open that show.
Guest:Just the two of you?
Guest:Yeah, but I'm going to make it a very special show.
Guest:I mean, I'm from Brooklyn.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:So I want to start.
Guest:Like, I'll be at the Tropicana in Atlantic City.
Guest:What's the day left, Jeff?
Guest:The 30th?
Guest:July 30th.
Guest:And that's already 2,000 seats.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, so I'm going from like 120, 150 seats a night in Vegas back into thousands of seats.
Guest:And not one frame of this show has aired.
Guest:All that's aired are the previews.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, that's what's starting to air now.
Guest:And, you know, all the press and the media.
Guest:And, you know, when you ask me, are you afraid?
Guest:It's not it's I'm a little fearful because it took 15 years to come back like this.
Guest:And, you know, I even tell my own kids, you know, there's nothing wrong with being.
Guest:It's like a nervous energy.
Guest:You get a little overwhelmed.
Guest:But like I said, the important thing is you always stay grounded.
Guest:I don't live in the mountains.
Guest:I live with people.
Guest:I like to have my ear to the street.
Marc:Go to restaurants.
Guest:Yeah, I'm not a recluse.
Guest:So those are the things that do keep you grounded.
Guest:Hanging with your family.
Marc:Is Max White your comedy?
Guest:Max loves my comedy, and we have a lot of talks about comedy, and he'll do his bits for me.
Guest:And the beauty of both my sons is I taught them since they're five years old, even if you're in my business, because I knew I had to break them in slowly to what I do that never walk in my shadow.
Guest:You don't want to be me.
Guest:You don't want to be on stage and people go, oh, he's a little dice.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:You've seen that happen before.
Guest:Yeah, with other famous guys, comics.
Guest:I go, be who you want to be.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, and develop what you want to be.
Guest:And that's what I mean when I say to you, I talk to my kids about everything.
Marc:Here's the thing I was going to tell you, though, that in my moment, because I'm weird, you know, even when I was just a doorman, and we didn't really know each other.
Marc:I don't even know if you remember me.
Marc:Not as a doorman.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But the weird thing is, is that... Forget you were a doorman.
Marc:Yeah, okay.
Marc:No, I'll forget it.
Marc:But it was weird, because you develop these attachments to people.
Marc:Because I watched you every fucking night for however long I was living at that place.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:And I always saw you as the character.
Marc:And then there was this one night, I'll never forget it.
Marc:Jimmy Schubert, for some reason, got arrested.
Marc:It was the middle of the night.
Marc:And we didn't know who to call.
Marc:And Todd, Todd Lemish, he says, let's call, Andrew.
Marc:And I'm like, you're going to call Dice?
Marc:And he calls you up.
Marc:It must have been 3 in the morning.
Marc:He said, Jimmy got arrested.
Marc:He's at Beverly Hills Jail.
Marc:Oh, that's right.
Marc:Totally forgot.
Marc:You said, that's weird.
Marc:I was up counting quarters.
Marc:And I'm like, what the fuck does that even mean?
Marc:And then we meet you.
Marc:We meet you at the jail and you show up with a bag of fucking quarters.
Guest:I always had a thing about change.
Guest:I love saving change.
Marc:We're sitting there stacking ropes.
Marc:Yeah, I had to bail them out.
Marc:Yeah, with quarters.
Marc:It was beautiful.
Guest:Jimmy's a guy that did everything I told him not to do.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Especially, I used to tease him when we became friends, because he used to talk about James Dean.
Guest:I go, look, you're never going to be James Dean, and you certainly ain't going to be no Johnny Depp.
Guest:And he would laugh at that name, Johnny Depp, because I just did a movie called Private Resort with Johnny Depp.
Guest:That was right before he did 21 Jump Street, and obviously we know who Johnny Depp is, but he thought I was making the name up.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah, because nobody ever heard of Johnny Depp.
Guest:But I just did a movie with this guy and I'm going, he's like a little James Dean.
Guest:And obviously we've seen what Johnny Depp became to his career.
Guest:And then when Jimmy realized that was really a fucking Johnny Depp, he was going, I thought you were goofing on me with that name.
Guest:you know but but schubert also you know i told him stay off of the fucking motorcycles yeah don't try to be next thing you know he's got pins to his leg to this day he still limping walks around like you know he's hobbling funny guy though funny guy haven't seen him in years actually well look dice it was great talking to you i know you got to go do some stuff i'm very happy for your uh for your comeback this is one of the best interviews i've done so far
Marc:I thought it was great.
Marc:I'm really happy you took the time to do it.
Guest:My son was right about you.
Marc:Well, thank you very much.
Guest:You're incredible.
Marc:I'm going to get him on the phone, and maybe we'll have him on the same show.
Marc:That'd be fun.
Marc:You got it.
Marc:Thanks, Dice.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:So that was Dice.
Marc:I bet you didn't know that stuff about him.
Marc:I bet you'd never heard him talk that long or realized that he was that person.
Marc:Well, that's Dice.
Marc:And now, you know, after I talked to Dice, I said, would you mind if I talked to Max?
Marc:And he said, yeah, sure.
Marc:You know, if you talk to Max about Max and not just about me.
Marc:And I said, well, I'm going to do a little of both.
Marc:And he said, sure.
Marc:So he gave me Max's number.
Marc:So I called Max Silverstein.
Marc:And Max came over to my house.
Marc:And he's a lovely kid.
Marc:Let's talk to Max Silverstein.
Marc:I am in the garage here with Max Silverstein.
Marc:It's good to be here.
Marc:Max Silverstein.
Marc:That is a name that a lot of people don't realize is Andrew Dice Clay's real name.
Marc:And he is your father.
Marc:Yes, he is.
Marc:You know, the reason why I had you in here was like I used to work the door at the comedy store, so I go way back.
Marc:And I didn't really know Dice other than as a young comic who would watch him right when he was starting to break out and become this huge guy.
Marc:And then over the years, I just never even associated him with having a kid.
Marc:And then not only does he have you, he has your brother.
Marc:And then he told me about you, and I looked you up online playing drums.
Marc:And he said you were starting to do comedy.
Marc:And I said, holy shit.
Marc:In my mind, I'm like, I got to talk to that kid, Max, and figure out, you know, what is it like to have Andrew Dice Clay as a father?
Marc:Because I know that in there...
Marc:In my experience with him and after talking to him, there's a sensitive guy in there and he's built this thing, this dice character.
Marc:And it seems to me that a lot of times he's not at odds with the character, but he's very conscious of the character and it kind of insulates him from being whoever you probably know him as.
Marc:I can't imagine he walks around the house doing dice.
Guest:Yeah, and a leather jacket.
Guest:Does he?
Guest:He really doesn't.
Guest:He's the best dad, and it's two different people.
Guest:I mean, of course, you know, Dice is an amplified version of himself, but, you know, he's way more relaxed at home.
Guest:But then, you know, when we go out, of course, we do have to be conscious of who he is because people respond accordingly.
Guest:That's the Dice Man, so he's got to be the Dice Man for them, you know?
Guest:sometimes when you're out you're realizing all right dad we'll see you when we get home even though you're sitting right next to him well what's what's really funny when we go out is um you know sometimes we'll see other celebrities yeah and i'll get really you know i get excited it's like whoa look who that is yeah you know but then they come over and they can't believe it's andrew dice clay yeah oh yeah you know i forget that's my dad yeah you know i want to go say what's up to them and then they come say what's up to my dad it's the coolest
Marc:Well, I think it's interesting, too, that he told me that your brother is a guitar player and you're a drummer.
Marc:And I went and watched that YouTube clip, and you seem to be a pretty fucking good drummer.
Marc:Yeah, man.
Marc:I've been playing for like 10 years.
Marc:And your brother's supposedly a great guitar player.
Marc:He's out of this world.
Marc:So did your father, as you were growing up, what was his message?
Marc:Because it's rare that parents, I mean, maybe some parents embrace creativity.
Marc:But what was the message he gave you growing up in terms of what you wanted to do?
Guest:He always was like, I just want you to do whatever it is you love to do.
Guest:And just supported me with anything I chose to do.
Guest:And the drums was definitely a big thing I wanted to do for a long time.
Guest:So he never had a problem with me practicing the drums or me and my brother playing in the house.
Guest:I mean, you know, our rehearsal studio was the living room.
Guest:The drums, the guitar, everything.
Guest:Every barbecue we have, you know, there's always a jam.
Guest:It always goes down.
Guest:Does he sing?
Guest:My dad drums, so me and him will switch off on the drums.
Guest:My brother will play guitar and sing.
Marc:So what was the conversation like when you told your dad you were going to do comedy?
Guest:There wasn't ever a really heavy conversation.
Guest:Just really started getting into the open mics and just going all the time.
Guest:What about this girl?
Guest:she uh basically i had this crush on like this female comic yeah and uh you know i was just kind of hoping to impress her being funny at open mics and kind of running around all summer and of course by the end of the summer i couldn't stand her but ended up getting like really into comedy i'm like i'm not going to school i'm not working i might as well really get into this how old are you i'm nearly 21 wow so so the girl did she end up thinking you were funny did you achieve what you needed to achieve there of course yeah yeah
Guest:She thought I was funny, but she was just crazy.
Marc:And your father said that you ask him about jokes sometimes.
Guest:I'll definitely tell him stuff that I'm working on.
Guest:He might give me a tag or whatever.
Guest:And we'll discuss concepts and bits, but he won't ever give me set jokes.
Guest:No, right, right.
Guest:He won't be like, say this.
Marc:But it'll just be like, that's a pretty good joke there.
Guest:Well, tell me, why don't you look at it from this angle?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:You're right.
Guest:I didn't think of that.
Guest:He goes, well, that's 30 years.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Of course I thought of that.
Marc:And has he seen you perform?
Guest:I've actually opened from a couple different times.
Guest:We just did the Palms in Vegas.
Guest:It's crazy because for my dad's crowds, I have to be way dirtier than I am.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because I don't refrain from cursing, but I'm not like what you would consider like a hardcore comic, you know, my subject matter.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:But in front of my dad's crowds, unless you get dirty, they have no interest.
Guest:You know, like I'd give them my best stuff and I'd get laughs, you know.
Guest:But it wasn't until I was like, you know what, let's talk about women.
Guest:Say some like severe stuff that they just get into it.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:He has the craziest fans.
Guest:They're so hardcore.
Marc:And do they like you?
Guest:Yeah, they're really into it.
Guest:And then like I'll hang out like when we sell t-shirts because I'm really just like trying to like meet girls, get numbers.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:You know, all that stuff.
Guest:And the big question is, you know, are you really his son?
Guest:I'm like, why would I do an entire bit of all this factual material if I wasn't?
Guest:But people definitely get a big kick out of like a father and son being on the same show.
Marc:Stylistically, do you find that you ever speak in your father's cadence or that, you know, you have the... Without a doubt.
Guest:There's definitely a lot of stuff that got passed down.
Guest:A lot of my mannerisms are similar to his.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, definitely.
Marc:Yeah, and is that unique to him, or are there other people in your family that have that, like your aunt or your grandfather or anybody?
Marc:I mean, because he's got this thing.
Marc:Is it an affectation?
Marc:Because it seems pretty genuine.
Guest:It's mostly him, but I think definitely my grandmother, my dad's mom, because he got a lot of his attitude from her, and then I got it from him, so I think it comes from her also.
Guest:That's hilarious.
Guest:And your brother's got it too?
Guest:My brother is...
Guest:not really he doesn't have that that whole thing going on he's a straight up like a real jock like just kicking ass in high school oh really complete opposite of who i was you know i was the straight up you know loner you know drummer dude yeah and he's got like a million friends and like girls love him he's an amazing water polo he's ripped oh man it's insane what's going on with him so what's the big plan no more drums or what
Guest:i do play the drums now more for fun what was sick was uh i got to play the drums on entourage oh so you actually you're you're playing drums on camera yeah and what's the scene basically it's uh i can't give away too much yeah but um the scenario is you know a couple of the guys are talking to my dad in uh in his apartment and i'm just going nuts on the drums and not stopping and driving everyone berserk so you play his son
Marc:yeah yeah playing the role of dice's son first thing out of the box which is so funny do you do you go out for a lot of roles or uh i'll go out for commercials yeah do you have you had experience with people that detract like that that are surprised in a negative way that you're his son like or they criticize him
Guest:um i've never experienced i mean of course you know you get in situations where you might hear something negative said yeah but no one's ever said anything negative like consciously knowing like that on my dad's son in front of me yeah they might have you know had a derogatory comment about him but without knowing how do you handle that
Guest:I mean, unless it's... I've never gotten into a fight with anybody.
Guest:I mean, if someone really said something, of course I would defend my dad.
Guest:Do you fight?
Guest:Physically?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'm so not a fighter.
Guest:If I had to defend myself like any person, I would, but I'm just... I'm so... I'm laid back, you know?
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Because he said he's gotten into some fights.
Guest:Yeah, I mean, he's definitely been in fights.
Guest:He comes from Brooklyn.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:That's just been his life, but I've always been way more of a past fist.
Marc:Yeah, but that stuff he does now about going to Staples instead of just hanging out with you guys is hilarious.
Guest:And that's all 1,000% true.
Guest:Oh, good, good.
Guest:There's a Staples run every other day.
Marc:Really?
Guest:All the time.
Marc:He likes it, huh?
Guest:Pens, paper.
Guest:He just likes office.
Guest:He likes fresh office supplies.
Wow.
Guest:I'm like, I really don't want to go to Staples again.
Guest:Please drop me off at home first.
Guest:And he's excited about it?
Guest:He gets into it, yeah.
Guest:He's got the paper shredder.
Guest:He's really a Staples advocate.
Marc:I wonder if you would do ads for Staples.
Guest:What a great commercial that would be.
Marc:Dice Clay for Staples.
Marc:That's fucking hilarious.
Guest:Well, where are you playing next?
Guest:Comedically, where am I?
Guest:Probably the...
Guest:Probably the comedy store at some point this week.
Marc:And are you a regular over there yet?
Marc:Are you just doing the Monday nights?
Marc:What are you doing?
Guest:I'm on the friends and family.
Marc:What is that?
Marc:Is there a friends and family plan?
Marc:How does that work?
Guest:I guess the best way to describe it is just like someone who's like one tiny notch above the open mic.
Marc:Oh, yeah, someone who knows somebody or is related to somebody.
Guest:Yeah, or has done good enough times at the open mic that they're like, hey, if you show up Sunday or Monday, we can get you on.
Marc:Are you friends with any other comedian's kids?
Guest:uh i'm friends with lucas dick and he dixon oh yeah yeah he's a really good guy i hear he's funny too i talked to andy about him is he funny he's really funny so you guys hang out yeah like we'll do mics together he's a very bright guy and uh so i'm definitely you know is he well adjusted too um i would consider him well adjusted that's amazing it's a it's a it's it's it's really uh touching to me that uh you turned out okay and lucas dick is okay
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:People would look at comedians and think their kids just got to be crazy just with who they're living with.
Marc:But it actually makes more sense that it's the opposite.
Marc:If you deal with a very large presence as a parent, one way or the other, you're going to be sort of like, all right, I got to keep it together because this is big.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Well, good luck with everything, and I'm glad you took a minute to talk to me.
Guest:Mark, seriously, thank you for having me on the show, and this was great, man.
Guest:And good luck with your comedy.
Marc:Well, that's it.
Marc:That's our show.
Marc:That was Andrew Silverstein and his son, Max Silverstein.
Marc:I hope you enjoyed that.
Marc:I hope you were surprised in some way.
Marc:You know, you think you know people.
Marc:But look, I am still in Montreal.
Marc:I will be back in the garage on Thursday.
Marc:I have some things to do now.
Marc:I'm fighting the urge to eat more poutine.
Marc:I'm battling a slight resentment against French Canadians based on my own problems.
Marc:And please go to WTF pod.com.
Marc:If you need anything, you need the app, you need a t-shirt, you need to get on that mailing list.
Marc:Oh boy.
Marc:I got to write that update.
Marc:Or if you need anything, just coffee.coop punchline magazine is no longer a punchline magazine.
Marc:It is a laugh spin.com.
Marc:So you can go check that out for all the up to date podcasts.
Marc:reports from montreal but but aside from that i hope you enjoyed the show and i'll be back on thursday in the garage to talk more about this experience all right i don't think i oh wait i have something else to say i want to plug this again todd glass my friend todd glass and your friend the very funny todd glass will be performing august 6th at the el ray theater uh here in los angeles
Marc:So please go to that, because he's taping a special, and he'd love to have you.
Marc:He's doing an hour over there, and Todd is one of the funniest people I've ever met.
Marc:And if you don't know him, it's definitely worth it.
Marc:That's Todd Glass at the El Rey Theater on August 6th.
Marc:Okay, that's it.