Episode 195 - Demetri Martin

Episode 195 • Released July 24, 2011 • Speakers detected

00:00:00Guest:Lock the gates!

00:00:08Marc:Are we doing this?

00:00:08Marc:Really?

00:00:09Marc:Wait for it.

00:00:10Marc:Are we doing this?

00:00:10Marc:Wait for it.

00:00:12Marc:Pow!

00:00:13Marc:What the fuck?

00:00:15Marc:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?

00:00:17Marc:What's wrong with me?

00:00:18Marc:It's time for WTF!

00:00:20Guest:What the fuck?

00:00:21Guest:With Marc Maron.

00:00:24Marc:Okay, let's do this.

00:00:26Marc:How are you, what-the-fuckers?

00:00:27Marc:What-the-fuck buddies?

00:00:28Marc:What-the-fucking-ucks?

00:00:30Marc:I will be up there in What-the-fuck Canada this week.

00:00:33Marc:What-the-fuck-otens?

00:00:35Marc:That was from somebody in Dakota.

00:00:37Marc:What-the-fuck-nicks?

00:00:39Marc:What-the-fuckstables?

00:00:40Marc:This is Mark Maron.

00:00:41Marc:This is WTF.

00:00:42Marc:I appreciate you stopping by.

00:00:44Marc:I appreciate you downloading me into your head.

00:00:46Marc:How am I in your head?

00:00:48Marc:Are we doing okay in your head?

00:00:49Marc:How is your head?

00:00:51Marc:Should I say nice things to your head?

00:00:52Marc:Hello.

00:00:54Marc:Everything's going to be okay, perhaps.

00:00:58Marc:I don't know.

00:00:59Marc:I'd like to say that Dimitri Martin is on the program today.

00:01:02Marc:It took me a long time to get Dimitri Martin.

00:01:05Marc:It wasn't like I was desperately pursuing Dimitri Martin, but I was politely pursuing Dimitri Martin to come on my show.

00:01:12Marc:That means a few emails.

00:01:13Marc:And then we went back and forth and then it became, I think I drew a line with him and I said, look, I'm not going to do this anymore.

00:01:20Marc:Let me know when you can do it.

00:01:23Marc:Well, it happened.

00:01:24Marc:We'll talk to him in a second.

00:01:26Marc:I'd like to give a shout out.

00:01:27Marc:Do I do that?

00:01:28Marc:Did I just say shout out?

00:01:30Marc:I did, didn't I?

00:01:31Marc:I'm going to do it.

00:01:31Marc:I'm going to shout out something to somebody.

00:01:34Marc:My UPS guy delivers me a bag, a box of Just Coffee from JustCoffee.coop.

00:01:41Marc:Hang on.

00:01:42Marc:Oh, hell yeah.

00:01:44Marc:Pow!

00:01:45Marc:Wow.

00:01:46Marc:I just shit my pants.

00:01:47Marc:For reals.

00:01:48Marc:I might have to take a pause.

00:01:50Marc:I know that upsets some of you, but whatever.

00:01:52Marc:It's the plug.

00:01:52Marc:It's where it's at.

00:01:53Marc:It's modern broadcasting.

00:01:55Marc:So my UPS guy, who I now know, his name is Oscar, delivering me some Just Coffee, telling me how much he likes the show, listens to it, out there in the truck.

00:02:05Marc:He's in the truck all day listening to podcasts.

00:02:08Marc:I gave him a couple stickers.

00:02:10Marc:So I just want to say thanks for listening, Oscar, out there on the front lines of the boxes.

00:02:14Marc:Front lines of the box wars.

00:02:17Marc:UPS competing, man, I'm rambling.

00:02:21Marc:Come on.

00:02:22Marc:Still recovering from the Soundgarden concert.

00:02:24Marc:Went to the Soundgarden concert on Friday.

00:02:27Marc:I never go anywhere.

00:02:28Marc:I never go to concerts because this is how, this is how I, this is what happens to me when I know there's a band I want to see.

00:02:34Marc:I see it in the paper.

00:02:35Marc:Someone tells me they're going to be in town.

00:02:37Marc:Maybe it's a month from now.

00:02:39Marc:Like, let's say a month ago, someone said Soundgarden is going to be at the LA Forum

00:02:45Marc:On July 22nd, I look at my calendar.

00:02:48Marc:Wow, it's June 22nd.

00:02:49Marc:Fuck.

00:02:50Marc:Where are we going to park?

00:02:53Marc:It's going to be a pain in the ass to park over there.

00:02:56Marc:What time do we have to leave?

00:02:57Marc:So after a month of sort of masticating that mentally, I'm out.

00:03:02Marc:I don't go.

00:03:03Marc:I don't think I need live rock and roll in my life.

00:03:06Marc:So this ticket comes out of nowhere.

00:03:09Marc:Some dude I know from a management company says you want to go to Soundgarden.

00:03:13Marc:I'm like, fuck yeah, I want to go to Soundgarden because his company represents Soundgarden.

00:03:17Marc:And then he sets me up, me and Jessica up with tickets.

00:03:20Marc:And then I'm like, where are we going to park?

00:03:23Marc:Of course, was my first question.

00:03:24Marc:He said, I got you VIP parking.

00:03:26Marc:You pick up your tickets, go in the VIP entrance.

00:03:28Marc:I'm like, holy shit.

00:03:29Marc:I never do that stuff.

00:03:31Marc:I'm not in that world.

00:03:33Marc:So I did the VIP thing, had great seats for Soundgarden, and forgot how much I fucking liked that band.

00:03:39Marc:Jessica went with me, reluctantly.

00:03:41Marc:Reluctantly.

00:03:42Marc:She's like, I guess.

00:03:43Marc:Yeah, okay.

00:03:44Marc:Soundgarden's okay.

00:03:46Marc:See, this is a generational problem.

00:03:48Marc:She actually said, well, we stayed for about two hours, and she started, what?

00:03:54Marc:She's sitting right there looking at me.

00:03:55Marc:What, now I'm an asshole?

00:03:58Marc:Get on the mic.

00:04:00Marc:Pull that into your face.

00:04:02Guest:All right.

00:04:02Guest:It's in my face.

00:04:03Marc:All right.

00:04:03Marc:So, all right.

00:04:04Marc:Well, let me just explain what happened.

00:04:06Marc:I'm at the show.

00:04:07Marc:I'm enjoying it.

00:04:08Marc:I'm doing the middle age sort of sway dance, you know, that you do because you're afraid to really dance.

00:04:14Marc:And I'm wearing my shorts and my short sleeve middle age shirt.

00:04:18Marc:and I'm enjoying the Soundgarden.

00:04:19Marc:There were moments where air guitar was played, I think during Outshine, perhaps Loud Love, which I was happy they played.

00:04:25Marc:I was amazed at how many songs I heard that I knew and liked.

00:04:28Marc:He sounded fucking great.

00:04:29Marc:They were just a group.

00:04:31Marc:Four guys, casually,

00:04:33Marc:doing the big cock rock work up there no bells and whistles just you know heads down we're playing cornell look great so you're sitting there i chose the wrong night to wear heels i was breaking in some shoes i just didn't want to stand on hard concrete and they cut off the beer they cut off the alcohol which is not a problem for you wasn't a problem for me either but i think you you're i think you got cranky you know after that i think that you know once the alcohol went you were like you you you went into your phone

00:05:03Marc:It seemed that we were done with the evening and we needed to go eat.

00:05:06Marc:I don't mind leaving a little early because that's the other reason why I don't go to concerts is because it's like, I guess I'm going to skip the encore because I don't want to deal with this parade of drunks leaving this thing.

00:05:16Marc:But needless to say...

00:05:18Marc:I enjoyed the concert, and it took me back to going to concerts.

00:05:23Marc:Very polite guy next to me tapped me on the shoulder, asked if I minded if he smoked some pot next to me.

00:05:28Marc:And I said, no, not at all, buddy.

00:05:30Marc:Knock yourself out.

00:05:31Marc:But I do think I got a little proximity buzz.

00:05:33Marc:I think a little of that came my way.

00:05:36Marc:Didn't fight it.

00:05:37Marc:Didn't freak out.

00:05:38Marc:Didn't run away.

00:05:39Marc:Not sure I had it, but I'm not going to beat myself up for it.

00:05:43Marc:Enjoyed the show.

00:05:44Marc:Reminded me of many shows I went to in high school that I didn't throw up at.

00:05:48Marc:So what were you doing on your phone there, Jess?

00:05:50Marc:You were tweeting during, I believe, Black Hole Sun?

00:05:53Guest:I wasn't tweeting anything.

00:05:55Guest:I wasn't doing anything.

00:05:56Guest:It was seeing you enjoy the Soundgarden, getting into it, playing some air guitar.

00:06:00Guest:Yeah.

00:06:01Guest:Made me want to go to see a show that I liked.

00:06:04Guest:So I was looking up bands that I liked.

00:06:07Guest:Fountains of Wayne, if anybody's a Fountains of Wayne fan, I am too.

00:06:10Guest:They're playing at the Troubadour in West Hollywood in October.

00:06:14Marc:Okay, so what you were doing is spitefully tweeting.

00:06:18Guest:No, no, not spitefully.

00:06:19Guest:Not tweeting.

00:06:20Marc:I mean, you were looking up bands that you wanted to see during the show that I wanted to see because you were like, if he's going to make me suffer through this...

00:06:27Guest:he's taking me to see no no no it wasn't suffering it was great no it was awesome to go in and it was a good it was a good time and I just I wanted to experience what you were experiencing I was like what band is gonna make me feel that what band am I gonna wanna play air guitar to right and I thought Fountains of Wayne and now we're going to Fountains of Wayne yeah who the fuck are Fountains of Wayne

00:06:47Guest:They're a great band.

00:06:48Marc:Okay.

00:06:49Guest:Their hit song was Stacy's Mom, which is not exactly a good example of the rest of their music, but great, fun band.

00:06:56Guest:Very fun.

00:06:56Guest:Okay.

00:06:57Guest:Jumping and dancing.

00:06:58Guest:No mosh pits.

00:06:59Marc:Oh, that was the best part of watching the audience at Soundgarden is that, you know, you saw this, like,

00:07:04Marc:throbbing audience hands in the air everyone was very excited that the boys got back together again and then like almost like a malignant cell occasionally in the middle of this body of an audience some chaos would occur some strange little insulated mosh pit and uh and you just sort of watched it move around and then i watched these guys who were you know what do you call that crowd diving not diving crowd surfing

00:07:25Marc:Yeah, they were the crowd surfing guys.

00:07:27Marc:Like they'd always eventually, like I saw two or three times where they'd move the dude up to the front and then just sort of dump him into the security area.

00:07:35Marc:And the security guys would just walk him back out.

00:07:38Marc:There was no reprimand or anything else, but there was a definite look of disappointment and a sort of shock at the walk away from what just happened.

00:07:49Marc:And I think that's a good metaphor for life.

00:07:51Marc:You get in it.

00:07:52Marc:You get celebrated, you get moved, and then you get dumped into the security area where you sort of droopily walk back around to the back of the crowd.

00:08:02Marc:But let's move into something else if I could.

00:08:04Marc:I'm going to be in Canada, which is always a problem for me because I'm flagged.

00:08:10Marc:I'm flagged at immigration.

00:08:11Marc:I'm a flagged man.

00:08:12Marc:I'm a guy that raises alerts in Canada.

00:08:18Marc:You know why?

00:08:19Marc:Because I drove up there to Vancouver in 2006.

00:08:22Marc:The festival up there, Will, thank you very much, did not provide proper paperwork, and I was denied access.

00:08:28Marc:And because of that, every time I go to Canada, I have to go through immigration.

00:08:32Marc:And depending on how many people are backed up and for what reason, I could be in there for hours.

00:08:38Marc:So I chose to write a letter, take things into my own hands,

00:08:42Marc:and write a letter to the Minister of Immigration of Canada.

00:08:48Marc:And this is a problem for me because I can't write polite emails.

00:08:52Marc:You know, the way I would like to frame it is, Dear Minister, what the fuck is wrong with your country?

00:08:57Marc:This is ridiculous.

00:08:59Marc:I like coming there, but you're really pushing your luck if you want to have me there because I'm flagged for this ridiculous mistake that wasn't even my problem.

00:09:07Marc:All right, so enough of this bullshit.

00:09:09Marc:Don't you have bigger issues with people that are potential,

00:09:12Marc:criminals or real criminals or or potential uh uh criminal suspects or whatever the hell it is that immigration does and whatever this sort of condescending attitude not even condescending i don't know what how to explain the attitude of a customs agent they're detached they take their time it's almost like they want to torture you so this is how i i would write an email dude what's up this is bullshit mark maron here's my passport number

00:09:40Marc:I didn't do that.

00:09:41Marc:I'd like to share with you me being diplomatic because I don't know how often you hear that.

00:09:46Marc:I wrote, Dear Minister, my name is Mark Maron.

00:09:49Marc:I'm an American comedian.

00:09:51Marc:I work in Canada often and I like working in Canada.

00:09:54Marc:You have great audiences up there.

00:09:56Marc:See, that's a little bit of ass kissing.

00:09:58Marc:Subject line, by the way, sir, I have a request.

00:10:00Marc:I work in Canada often.

00:10:02Marc:You have great audiences up there.

00:10:03Marc:See, I'm celebrating Canada.

00:10:05Marc:I have a problem.

00:10:06Marc:In 2006, I was invited to the Vancouver Comedy Festival.

00:10:09Marc:I traveled by car.

00:10:11Marc:When I arrived at the border, the festival had not supplied customs with the proper information.

00:10:15Marc:I was denied access to Canada until the festival worked it out.

00:10:19Marc:I then entered Canada.

00:10:20Marc:Because of that, I have been flagged, and every time I travel to Canada, I am held up in immigration.

00:10:25Marc:My humble request is... How do you like that?

00:10:28Marc:Nice touch, right?

00:10:29Marc:My humble request.

00:10:30Marc:Please, sir.

00:10:31Marc:Please, sir.

00:10:32Marc:is you reassess my standing.

00:10:34Marc:If you check my record, I'm a good citizen.

00:10:37Marc:Huh?

00:10:37Marc:Good citizen.

00:10:39Marc:With no criminal or other charges on my record, I don't think the flagging is warranted.

00:10:43Marc:I appreciate your time, Marc Maron.

00:10:45Marc:Here's my passport number.

00:10:47Marc:So now I get nothing back.

00:10:49Marc:They sent some sort of mechanized email in French back to me.

00:10:54Marc:So I have no idea if this goes anywhere or what, but I'm looking forward to the day where I go into Canada and they say, go on through, sir, not go there, go into that room right.

00:11:04Marc:with a collection of people from around the world with all sorts of other problems other than not just having the proper paperwork that wasn't my fault are in there for hours while custom agents make you uncomfortable and make you feel like you've done something even though you've done nothing.

00:11:24Marc:We'll see what happens.

00:11:25Marc:I'll let you know how that pans out.

00:11:28Marc:I will be up there at the Just for Laughs Montreal Comedy Festival.

00:11:33Marc:Montreal Just for Laughs Comedy Festival.

00:11:35Marc:I don't know how you phrase it, but we're doing a live WTF up there.

00:11:38Marc:Sorry, it's sold out.

00:11:40Marc:I'll be doing a gala.

00:11:41Marc:Don't know if that's sold out.

00:11:43Marc:I'm doing some other shows, but I'm very nervous about the keynote address.

00:11:46Marc:They asked me to do the keynote address.

00:11:50Marc:why me but i'm gonna do it it's been the bane of my existence in my mind for months because i wanted to do it right be honest be funny and i just i'm i'm nuts like that i i mean they asked me to do this thing it seemed like a prestigious thing it's only the third time they've done it and in my mind my first thought was what they couldn't get anybody else i mean i'm just a guy who works in my garage man putting that thing together was uh

00:12:16Marc:was a harrowing experience.

00:12:18Marc:But I think that we've got a good riff, good rap, good speech.

00:12:23Marc:I will go out of my way.

00:12:25Marc:to make sure i get that on tape and share it with you guys i'm gonna uh i'm gonna bring my rig up there we're gonna do some recording maybe i'll maybe i'll do an episode up there i don't know there's a lot of comics up there i'm gonna do a live one but maybe i can corner somebody into talking to me that uh i haven't talked to previous i can't believe i'm doing that speech why am i so nervous about talking in front it's you know why because it's the industry it's my peers it's a there'll be a few fans there and uh

00:12:50Marc:Louis Black did it last year.

00:12:52Marc:It's a lot of pressure in my mind.

00:12:54Marc:It's a lot of pressure in my mind that I put on me to make it difficult for me.

00:12:57Marc:Can't I just embrace shit and say, wow, this is going to be great.

00:13:02Marc:This is going to be fun.

00:13:03Marc:Have I ever fucking said that?

00:13:06Marc:Hold on.

00:13:07Marc:Let me go through my files.

00:13:09Marc:I'm going back right now.

00:13:11Marc:I'm searching, this is going to be fun in my brain.

00:13:16Marc:I put that in my little brain box.

00:13:17Marc:Hold on, I'm still doing a search.

00:13:19Marc:All right, we're going back.

00:13:21Marc:95, 94, 93, 92, 91, 90, nothing.

00:13:26Marc:89.

00:13:28Marc:Nope.

00:13:29Marc:This is going to be fun.

00:13:30Marc:98.

00:13:33Marc:Oh, wait.

00:13:34Marc:97.

00:13:35Marc:This is going to suck.

00:13:36Marc:This is going to suck.

00:13:37Marc:This is going to suck.

00:13:38Marc:Nope.

00:13:38Marc:Close.

00:13:39Marc:This is going to be fun.

00:13:41Marc:95.

00:13:42Marc:I already did that year.

00:13:43Marc:89.

00:13:44Marc:88.

00:13:47Marc:Fuck.

00:13:48Marc:Oh, wait.

00:13:49Marc:Yes.

00:13:50Marc:Yes.

00:13:51Marc:It looks like I said it once.

00:13:53Marc:Looks like I said it once when I got my driver's license.

00:13:58Marc:Wow.

00:14:06Marc:My guest in the Cat Ranch Garage here is Dimitri Martin, finally.

00:14:11Marc:Thanks for having me.

00:14:12Marc:I've been trying to passively, aggressively get you on the show for months.

00:14:18Marc:I remember we ran into each other.

00:14:19Guest:You might have just started, yeah.

00:14:21Guest:We were on the street in New York, yeah, like near Union Square.

00:14:24Guest:You're like, hey, man, you just came up.

00:14:26Guest:You started the conversation before I even saw you.

00:14:28Guest:I was like, oh, hey, Maren.

00:14:29Guest:And then you're like, I got a podcast.

00:14:31Guest:You should do my podcast.

00:14:32Marc:I was like, yeah, yeah.

00:14:33Marc:Yeah, and then I think we talked about you for about 10 minutes.

00:14:36Marc:You were having some sort of issue about something not working out.

00:14:39Marc:That sounds about right.

00:14:39Marc:It was like, yeah, they only want to give me the key to the city, and I said they wanted my own building, and it was some big problem that I was broke and trying to get you to come to my garage, and you were like, yeah, they added a car into the deal, but I said I didn't really like the car, and I'm like, okay.

00:14:59Marc:Perspective's an amazing thing, isn't it?

00:15:01Guest:I see you, I'm like, oh yeah, you're one of the guys.

00:15:03Guest:Three Arts, Luna.

00:15:05Guest:That's over, that's over.

00:15:06Guest:Three Arts is over.

00:15:07Guest:Is that right?

00:15:08Guest:You were always in the class above me.

00:15:10Guest:You guys were impenetrable.

00:15:12Marc:What do you mean, impenetrable in what way?

00:15:14Marc:Well, just, you know.

00:15:15Marc:We were just a class above you.

00:15:16Guest:You were just a class above me.

00:15:17Guest:It wasn't impenetrable.

00:15:18Guest:I think probably my own, I brought my own shit to it.

00:15:21Guest:But yeah, you know, you, Louie, Attell.

00:15:25Guest:We do bring our own shit to things.

00:15:27Guest:We tend to, that's why we're comics, I guess, partly.

00:15:29Guest:But yeah, but you know what I mean?

00:15:30Guest:You guys had Todd.

00:15:32Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:15:33Guest:I was always trying to just get up in those rooms.

00:15:36Marc:Yeah, I remember.

00:15:37Marc:I remember running into you at that diner up by the comic strip with my ex-wife.

00:15:42Marc:I think that was the first time I remember actually talking to you.

00:15:45Marc:We were sitting there.

00:15:46Marc:And you were telling me about... Oh yeah, I remember this, yeah.

00:15:49Marc:Do you remember?

00:15:50Marc:I remember running into you.

00:15:51Marc:I don't remember what we talked about, but I remember that.

00:15:52Marc:Well, I remember that I was surprised that you had dropped out of law school to do comedy, and then I think I said that wasn't unusual.

00:15:59Guest:Yeah, right.

00:16:00Marc:That I'd known there were other lawyer comics.

00:16:03Marc:Geraldo, Mercurio.

00:16:04Marc:Al Lubel.

00:16:05Marc:Al Lubel, right.

00:16:07Marc:But he still carries the legal pads, which I think maybe in some ways he might still be involved.

00:16:12Guest:Al Lou Bell used to do the Boston Comedy Club a lot when I started.

00:16:14Marc:That's where I'd get up.

00:16:15Guest:He's very funny.

00:16:16Marc:He's very funny.

00:16:17Guest:I love Al Lou Bell.

00:16:18Guest:I thought he was such a great joke writer.

00:16:20Marc:Yeah.

00:16:20Marc:Very unique.

00:16:21Marc:But I didn't realize that you come from...

00:16:24Marc:I like what do you come from I mean like it always amazed me that that someone would make a decision to stop going to law school I understood that but I mean you could have finished yeah I mean did you yeah you didn't finish you know already how many years in I did two years out of the three and I had a full scholarship so I was free I could have just finished for free the last year well what the hell kind of decision is that to make

00:16:48Guest:Yeah, it's one that I'm certainly glad I made.

00:16:51Guest:I think for me, and it is funny when you say where I come from, because it makes me think of comics in general.

00:16:57Guest:I think of hanging out at the cellar, and I think of, I started in New York.

00:17:00Marc:Did you start in Boston?

00:17:01Marc:I don't know where you would officially say I started.

00:17:04Marc:I think you would say I officially started in Boston.

00:17:06Marc:Okay, so you started doing stage time regularly in Boston.

00:17:09Guest:So for me, New York, that's where I started.

00:17:11Guest:But I, at the same time, I think felt like, oh cool, I found my people, and geez, I feel like a spectator, I'm kind of outside this.

00:17:21Guest:Not just being new at it, but more like.

00:17:23Marc:Yeah, I remember when you were sitting at the children's table at the sower.

00:17:25Marc:Yeah, yeah, that's it.

00:17:26Guest:Not the main back table.

00:17:27Guest:Right, and still, I can kind of, I have to, can I go with the main one?

00:17:31Guest:I don't really do spots here, I don't know.

00:17:33Guest:But for me, I felt like, well,

00:17:37Guest:I think I want to do stand-up.

00:17:38Guest:I love writing jokes.

00:17:40Guest:I want to tell my jokes.

00:17:41Guest:I want to do bits.

00:17:43Guest:And I don't have the stripes.

00:17:46Guest:Not even just the stage time yet, but I'm not traditionally fucked up, maybe, in the way some of the guys are and the ways that they mine that.

00:17:55Guest:I am.

00:17:55Guest:I have my own problems just like everybody.

00:17:57Marc:Well, you're incredibly self-centered, no?

00:17:59Guest:I don't know, incredibly, I'd say.

00:18:02Guest:Even there, it's not enough.

00:18:04Guest:I'm somewhat self-centered.

00:18:06Guest:You fall short on self-centered?

00:18:09Guest:Yeah, you're right.

00:18:11Guest:I'm above the bar for self-involved, for sure.

00:18:13Guest:But what I was going to say was, guys go on stage and they start their set with, been sober 15 years, things like that.

00:18:19Guest:Really?

00:18:20Guest:Who's done that?

00:18:20Guest:Voss, I remember used to do that at the Boston and stuff.

00:18:24Guest:And that was the last bit of humanity he has in his act.

00:18:28Guest:I love, I've spent so much time with this.

00:18:30Guest:We've been there at the same time, but I just sit there and listen.

00:18:33Guest:I mean, I don't really get involved in the jobs.

00:18:34Marc:I remember you used to walk in with like, I remember this one night, I always tell a story about you where

00:18:39Marc:We'd be sitting at the back table and you'd walk in with a skateboard, an easel, a guitar, a bicycle, and be like, Jesus, Dimitri, why don't you just write a joke?

00:18:50Guest:I remember, I was thinking on the way over here, I'm like, where do Mark and I intersect?

00:18:55Guest:What stuff did I remember?

00:18:57Guest:One thing I remember is,

00:18:59Guest:going to Caroline's one time, and I got to do a spot there somehow in some showcase.

00:19:03Guest:And I had my skateboard, I had my longboard, remember it was a really, really longboard, which was, you know, in my defense, more stable.

00:19:12Guest:When you skated around New York, the longer board was more stable.

00:19:14Guest:I skated everywhere, I was broke.

00:19:16Guest:I skated everywhere in that thing.

00:19:17Guest:No cabs, I take the subway sometimes.

00:19:19Guest:And I came in there, and you were like, you looked at me with the skateboard, you said, how old are you?

00:19:25Guest:I said 28.

00:19:27Guest:You said you got two years on that thing left.

00:19:32Guest:That was a good bit.

00:19:34Marc:Yeah, I mean, there was something.

00:19:37Marc:Well, I think that you were...

00:19:40Marc:You were a little pre-alternative, yet you were doing something that seemed unique and not necessarily traditional stand-up.

00:19:49Marc:But I don't think that alternative really had locked in yet.

00:19:52Marc:But you were still doing, there was that period of time where I think you got a lot of flack for being Mitch-like.

00:19:59Marc:Yes, and Mitch Light, I was called.

00:20:01Guest:Oh, were you really?

00:20:01Guest:Yeah.

00:20:02Guest:They always like to say light when you're like somebody.

00:20:04Marc:But how much of you being compared to Hedberg was sort of what the fire under your ass, it made you do more visual stuff on stage.

00:20:14Guest:Oh, that's an interesting, yeah.

00:20:17Guest:You know, for me, it was when I started, so I started in the summer of 97.

00:20:20Guest:Yeah.

00:20:21Guest:And I think like a lot of comics, I was just like, all right, can I get laughs?

00:20:27Guest:Here we go.

00:20:27Guest:Right.

00:20:28Guest:For me, for whatever reason, I write one-liners.

00:20:30Guest:Like from my very first night, I had 12 jokes.

00:20:33Guest:Right.

00:20:33Guest:So for better or worse, I'm a joke teller.

00:20:35Guest:That's how I come at it.

00:20:36Guest:Right.

00:20:37Guest:So I remember Boston Comedy Club.

00:20:40Guest:I went up.

00:20:40Guest:I did my jokes.

00:20:41Guest:Half of them worked.

00:20:42Guest:I was so excited.

00:20:43Guest:Yeah.

00:20:43Guest:The next night at Ye Olde Triple Inn, I bombed the second night.

00:20:45Guest:And then a week later, I started doing it regularly.

00:20:47Guest:And I was like, all right, I want to be a comic.

00:20:49Guest:From the minute I started, I was Stephen Wright.

00:20:52Guest:And anybody who's somebody like, yeah, you're funny, whatever, you're Stephen Wright.

00:20:55Guest:Yeah.

00:20:55Guest:Yeah, you're like Stephen Wright.

00:20:56Guest:You know who you remind me of?

00:20:57Guest:Stephen Wright.

00:20:57Guest:Right.

00:20:58Guest:Fair enough.

00:20:59Guest:Okay.

00:20:59Guest:I like Stephen Wright.

00:21:00Marc:Sure.

00:21:00Guest:And I knew who he was, and he certainly influenced me.

00:21:03Marc:I like one-liners.

00:21:04Marc:One-liners with an absurd slant.

00:21:06Guest:Yes.

00:21:07Marc:I mean, they weren't like, take my wife, please, or da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

00:21:10Guest:Right, and they weren't political one-liners.

00:21:11Marc:It wasn't a late- Abstract.

00:21:13Guest:Kind of abstract.

00:21:14Guest:Yeah.

00:21:15Guest:I like to think simple.

00:21:16Guest:As few words as possible is the game for me.

00:21:18Guest:Sure.

00:21:19Guest:Two years later, I'd say, maybe two and a half years later.

00:21:21Guest:99.

00:21:22Guest:Around then, people are telling me, oh, you remind me of Mitch.

00:21:25Guest:You're like, who's Mitch?

00:21:26Guest:I'm like, who's Mitch?

00:21:28Guest:I hadn't seen Mitch.

00:21:29Guest:Yeah.

00:21:31Guest:And I remember Lenny Marcus, a comic from New York.

00:21:33Marc:Yeah, I know.

00:21:34Guest:You know, you're funny.

00:21:35Guest:He's like, you kind of remind me of Mitch.

00:21:36Guest:He's on the West Coast, you know, but you guys are kind of similar.

00:21:38Marc:Well, that's weird because, you know, people were saying to Mitch, you remind me of Stephen Wright.

00:21:41Marc:I mean, I think the source of it

00:21:43Marc:That's interesting that there's a sort of legacy because I think George Carlin once said about Mitch Hedberg, he's like Stephen Wright if he'd been hit in the head with a bat.

00:21:50Marc:That's funny.

00:21:51Marc:I mean, so there was a groove there.

00:21:53Guest:There's a groove there, and then I guess Stephen Wright, when I discovered Woody Allen, I wouldn't say there's as a direct lineage, but I'd say Stephen Wright.

00:22:03Guest:When I listen to Woody Allen, I'd be like, wow, there's some amazing kind of absurd one-liners in here.

00:22:07Guest:But it's couched in anecdote.

00:22:08Guest:And for Woody Allen, right, they're longer stories.

00:22:10Guest:And the moose has like 25 punchlines in it.

00:22:13Guest:But anyway, so then Mitch- Is he sure it's 25?

00:22:15Guest:I count 23.

00:22:18Guest:So Mitch blows up.

00:22:19Guest:Mitch becomes Mitch Hedberg.

00:22:21Guest:I see him.

00:22:21Guest:I remember I went to the comic strip.

00:22:22Guest:They're like, hey, he's in town.

00:22:23Guest:You should go see him.

00:22:24Guest:And I saw Mitch.

00:22:24Guest:And I thought- Oh, fuck.

00:22:25Guest:I got to get an easel.

00:22:27Guest:I thought- Can I carry that easel on my skateboard?

00:22:30Yeah.

00:22:31Guest:Now I need two things.

00:22:32Guest:I need a guitar and an easel to balance me on the skateboard.

00:22:36Guest:So yeah, so I remember seeing Mitch and thinking, number one, this guy's hilarious.

00:22:38Guest:And number two, oh yeah, I see the similarity.

00:22:40Guest:He's telling short jokes.

00:22:41Guest:But I honestly thought, God, he seems more like his attitude and his rhythm and what he is is as a person.

00:22:49Guest:Yeah.

00:22:49Guest:I just felt I'm very different from that guy.

00:22:51Guest:But I guess I learned quickly that that doesn't matter to the world.

00:22:55Guest:I tell short jokes.

00:22:57Guest:He's the most famous guy right now telling short jokes.

00:23:00Guest:And I'm laid back.

00:23:01Guest:Okay, I'm Mitch Hedberg.

00:23:03Guest:And it's a weird thing to not know somebody and to genuinely not be influenced by them but then to be told you're him.

00:23:10Guest:And I'm sure I was influenced by his time.

00:23:11Guest:After seeing him, how are you not influenced by people you see?

00:23:14Guest:To some degree you are.

00:23:15Guest:Of course.

00:23:15Guest:But in terms of when I look back, yeah, Stephen Wright.

00:23:19Guest:I saw Stephen Wright when I was in high school and I was like, I can't predict his punchlines.

00:23:22Guest:This is interesting to me.

00:23:23Guest:Right, no.

00:23:23Marc:This is a genuine influence on me.

00:23:24Marc:And there's no shame on that.

00:23:26Marc:And I'm sure that on some level, Mitch was probably influenced by Stephen Wright.

00:23:28Marc:There's no way that that form exists in a vacuum.

00:23:31Marc:Yeah.

00:23:33Marc:But when that happened, because quite honestly, you were coming over here and I had so many other things on my mind, I had forgotten until we just started talking about that, that that was sort of this burden you carried for a while.

00:23:42Guest:People should know I'm dressed as Mitch Hedberg right now, so fair enough for Mark.

00:23:46Marc:He's got those weird blue sunglasses on and his hairs, and he's not looking at me.

00:23:50Marc:And he's rocking a little bit.

00:23:51Guest:He's rocking.

00:23:51Guest:And he seems smarter than Dimitri.

00:23:54Guest:Yeah, I mean, I think, God, Mitch was such a great comic.

00:23:57Guest:And as a performer, too, I mean, I have so much respect for Mitch.

00:24:01Guest:So in a way, it's a compliment if people are going to even compare me to the guy.

00:24:03Guest:But it had been sort of a chore.

00:24:05Guest:Oh, for sure, for sure.

00:24:07Guest:And in a way that's different than Stephen Wright because I think just we're closer generationally.

00:24:11Guest:Sure, because he was still alive.

00:24:12Guest:And Zach, and then Zach.

00:24:14Guest:I play an instrument, you're Zach.

00:24:15Guest:You know, Dimitri, you're Zach.

00:24:16Guest:You can't play instruments on stage.

00:24:17Guest:Now you're Zach.

00:24:18Marc:Is that true?

00:24:19Marc:You got that too?

00:24:19Guest:A little bit.

00:24:20Guest:In New York, I got that.

00:24:20Guest:And then- That fucking shit bothers me a little bit.

00:24:22Marc:It's like, come on.

00:24:23Guest:Victor Porsche.

00:24:24Marc:Yeah, Victor Porsche.

00:24:24Marc:Don't we go way back to like Billy Connolly.

00:24:27Marc:You have to start going-

00:24:29Marc:making like punctuation noises.

00:24:31Guest:Right, right.

00:24:32Guest:No, yeah, Victor Vorja, sure.

00:24:33Guest:I mean, yeah.

00:24:34Guest:And then, by the way, I remember I went to the Punchline the first time and, or I was in San Francisco doing Sketchfest and somebody came up to me after the show, they're like, you know, you remind me of Mitch Hedberg and a little bit of Zack and Arch Barker, because of your haircut, you look like Arch.

00:24:46Guest:So I'm thinking, oh, my God, I can't.

00:24:49Guest:I'll never just be myself.

00:24:50Guest:I can't just be myself.

00:24:51Guest:I'm just not allowed.

00:24:52Marc:But that's not true.

00:24:53Marc:That actually happened.

00:24:54Marc:You did become yourself.

00:24:55Marc:Yeah.

00:24:56Marc:And people had to reckon with that.

00:24:58Marc:But it is sort of a burden that people seem to pigeonhole people, that they need to sort of have this point of reference.

00:25:04Marc:Because it's never said, unless a comic pulls you aside and says, look, you know, you ought to watch yourself.

00:25:10Marc:Yeah.

00:25:11Marc:Because stylistically, you're glomming a little bit.

00:25:14Guest:Yes, and look, it's really proprietary what we do.

00:25:19Guest:I think people stake out turf, and I think we're survivors in a way.

00:25:24Guest:You get defensive about, I remember talking to Judah once at Aspen.

00:25:31Guest:I was at Aspen at the comedy festival.

00:25:33Guest:It doesn't exist anymore, right?

00:25:34Guest:I went there, and I had a hat on.

00:25:37Guest:I had drawn on my hat.

00:25:38Guest:This is in 2004, maybe?

00:25:40Guest:Yeah.

00:25:41Guest:And I did, you know you do that warm-up set the first night you get there or something?

00:25:45Guest:You're like, hey, if you want to go up, you know, whatever.

00:25:47Guest:If you want to learn how to breathe and talk while you're at a mile high.

00:25:50Marc:Yeah.

00:25:51Guest:So I did like, you know, I went and did my five minutes, but I had my hat on.

00:25:54Guest:I wasn't thinking.

00:25:54Guest:I went up on stage with the hat on.

00:25:55Guest:Yeah.

00:25:56Guest:When I got off stage, Judah was like, so was this your thing now?

00:26:00Guest:You're going to wear a hat, you know, you draw on your own hat, you wear it on stage.

00:26:03Guest:I thought he was doing a bit.

00:26:04Guest:I thought he was, he might've been, I can't, I still don't know if he was fucking with me.

00:26:07Guest:And so I just went with it.

00:26:08Guest:I was like, yeah, this is my thing now.

00:26:09Guest:I draw on hats and I do it on stage.

00:26:11Guest:And he's like, that's my thing.

00:26:14Guest:I'm like, man, I'm, I'm, you know, like a lot of comics, I'm sensitive about that stuff.

00:26:19Guest:Number one, just to respect other comics, man.

00:26:21Marc:I don't want to be anybody else.

00:26:22Marc:But when someone says that shit to you, it's never, it's always a fucking swag.

00:26:26Marc:Yeah.

00:26:27Marc:You know, like when, even when they say like, you remind me a little, I'm like, oh, fuck it.

00:26:30Marc:No, God damn it.

00:26:31Guest:I did a bit that was very similar to Seinfeld that I didn't know.

00:26:34Guest:I thought it was my joke.

00:26:36Guest:And I was already doing theaters at this point.

00:26:38Guest:And after the show, people were waiting in line to meet me and some girls were like, hey, great Seinfeld cover.

00:26:41Guest:I love that one joke.

00:26:42Guest:Which is such a snarky, like, okay, I didn't.

00:26:44Marc:Snarky, that's just fucking horrible.

00:26:46Guest:It's just me and I'm like, cover.

00:26:47Guest:I mean, look, I'm not going to do a Seinfeld joke on purpose.

00:26:51Guest:I've read thousands and thousands of jokes.

00:26:53Guest:You're going to overlap.

00:26:54Guest:But it landed, didn't it?

00:26:55Guest:She got you.

00:26:55Guest:She got me, that's why I'm saying it here at the carriage.

00:26:58Guest:But when you started, who were people, not everybody has it obviously, I think of comics, they wouldn't compare them.

00:27:05Marc:Well I did it, I was an angry guy, so there's only a few angry guys, so you get Hicks, I think was more so than anything else.

00:27:13Guest:It's funny you say that, because I remember before I knew you, going to Luna and seeing a couple shows,

00:27:19Guest:And I always thought some guys, that's genuine, and other guys, you're like, that's one of the shortcuts somebody figured out as a way to engage an audience.

00:27:29Marc:Do you know what I mean?

00:27:30Guest:Yeah, but it's not a great one with the anger thing.

00:27:32Guest:If it's fake, I think you're in deep shit, because you're gonna have to.

00:27:35Guest:You mean Orny Adams' anger?

00:27:36Guest:Yeah, you're gonna have to manufacture, right?

00:27:40Guest:Each night, he's like, you have to work that up.

00:27:42Guest:And then when I got to know you, I was like, okay, Mark's for real, it's not bullshit.

00:27:47Guest:And you know, the first time, I think, I don't know if this was the first time we met you at Luna, maybe.

00:27:50Guest:We had met uptown.

00:27:52Guest:We were talking, you hosted.

00:27:53Guest:Right.

00:27:54Guest:And we were at the bar and you came up to me.

00:27:57Guest:You're like looking at the list, who are these comics?

00:27:59Guest:You don't know me.

00:28:00Guest:You come up to me, you're like, hey man, just want you to know, I've heard a lot about you and I'm not on board.

00:28:05Guest:No, I didn't say that to you too, did I?

00:28:07Guest:Have you said that to other people?

00:28:08Guest:Is that a bit?

00:28:09Marc:You said that to me.

00:28:10Marc:No, it's not a bit, but I've said it to Eddie Ift.

00:28:13Marc:Did you?

00:28:14Marc:Oh, so me and Eddie Ift.

00:28:15Marc:Yeah, yeah.

00:28:17Marc:That just came out of spite.

00:28:20Guest:You know what, man?

00:28:21Guest:Of course I don't care.

00:28:22Guest:Did you care at the moment?

00:28:24Guest:Yeah.

00:28:25Guest:At the moment, you know what I cared about too was after I did my set you hosted.

00:28:28Guest:Yeah.

00:28:29Guest:I had a good set.

00:28:30Guest:I was so psyched.

00:28:30Guest:I had a good set at Luna.

00:28:31Guest:People who don't know who are listening, Luna Lounge doesn't even exist anymore.

00:28:35Marc:The building's gone.

00:28:35Marc:I know.

00:28:36Marc:They destroyed it.

00:28:36Marc:I think when I was there not long ago, they were building something there on that spot.

00:28:41Marc:Is that right?

00:28:41Marc:Wow.

00:28:41Guest:Some hotel, probably some luxury.

00:28:43Guest:I didn't have an apartment building yet.

00:28:44Guest:But Luna was the spot.

00:28:45Guest:I mean, for me, number one, I couldn't get up in the clubs.

00:28:47Guest:And number two, a lot of the comics I liked were at Luna.

00:28:50Guest:So I wanted to get on there.

00:28:51Marc:And that was the beginning of that alternative thing where people with a little more quirkier or weren't working.

00:28:58Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:29:00Guest:So I got my shot at Luna.

00:29:01Guest:It was like impossible.

00:29:02Guest:And I was hosting it?

00:29:03Guest:You hosted that night.

00:29:04Guest:I had a good set.

00:29:05Guest:And after I got off stage, you said to the audience, isn't he adorable?

00:29:08Guest:Nah, pissed me off.

00:29:09Guest:I was like, motherfucker.

00:29:12Guest:Fucker, adorable.

00:29:13Guest:I'm working, man.

00:29:14Guest:I'm doing my thing.

00:29:15Guest:But yeah, look, I am what I am.

00:29:17Guest:I look what I look like.

00:29:18Marc:But let's be honest.

00:29:19Marc:I mean, you've maintained a haircut for a decade.

00:29:21Marc:Yes.

00:29:22Marc:So, I mean, there's a commitment to consistency.

00:29:25Marc:There's a choice.

00:29:25Marc:And it happens to be an adorable haircut.

00:29:27Marc:Thank you.

00:29:28Marc:But you know that.

00:29:29Guest:Yeah.

00:29:30Guest:You know what?

00:29:30Guest:I know that I like the Beatles.

00:29:32Guest:And I know that I have a prominent nose.

00:29:34Guest:And I know that if I have a certain haircut, it balances my head a little bit.

00:29:38Marc:okay all right so it's why i respect people i mean i scrambled through a lot of different looks over the years and yeah you locked into committing to your nose and i'm gonna and my hair is gonna go just like everybody so i'm trying to why do you think that you're greek aren't you i am greek yeah it doesn't go we'll see what's maybe i'll go before it goes well don't be negative see this is where this see this is the self-centeredness i knew that the party is negativity equals self-centeredness

00:30:01Guest:Oh, I guess it's lamenting.

00:30:03Guest:Lamenting oneself.

00:30:04Guest:You have to be focused on oneself first.

00:30:06Guest:Very good.

00:30:07Marc:So what did you study in college?

00:30:09Guest:I studied, it's gonna sound crazy, but I majored in myself.

00:30:12Guest:I figured out how to major.

00:30:13Marc:That's awesome.

00:30:14Marc:So you went to Hampshire, one of those hippie schools?

00:30:16Guest:I was a history major.

00:30:17Guest:I changed my major 11 times, I'd say.

00:30:20Guest:And eventually, I ended up in history.

00:30:22Marc:And where'd you go?

00:30:24Guest:Yale.

00:30:24Marc:Oh, poor you.

00:30:25Marc:Yale, huh?

00:30:26Marc:Really?

00:30:27Marc:That must have been rough.

00:30:28Marc:Where'd you go?

00:30:29Marc:Boston University, buddy.

00:30:30Marc:No Yale for me.

00:30:31Marc:Oh, such a step down.

00:30:33Marc:They're so different, Yale and BU.

00:30:35Marc:Yeah, one's an Ivy League school, one's a school for rich Jewish kids.

00:30:38Marc:I think they're both schools for rich Jewish kids.

00:30:40Guest:But one's also like, yeah.

00:30:45Guest:Oh, BU, cool.

00:30:45Guest:So yeah, you were in Boston.

00:30:46Guest:Where'd you grow up?

00:30:47Guest:New Jersey.

00:30:48Guest:Jersey, sure.

00:30:49Guest:I'm from there.

00:30:50Guest:That's exactly right.

00:30:51Marc:Asbury Park, deal?

00:30:52Guest:Toms River, New Jersey, next to Seaside Heights.

00:30:54Marc:Okay.

00:30:55Guest:The town next door.

00:30:56Guest:That's where I'm from.

00:30:57Guest:Next to Seaside Heights.

00:30:58Marc:Yeah.

00:30:58Marc:How far is that from Asbury Park?

00:31:00Guest:I think about 30 minutes, 25 minutes.

00:31:02Marc:Oh, so it's down south?

00:31:03Marc:Yeah, south.

00:31:04Marc:Oh, okay.

00:31:04Marc:So what kind of world did you grow up in?

00:31:06Marc:What'd your dad do?

00:31:07Marc:My dad was a Greek Orthodox priest.

00:31:09Marc:He wore the costume?

00:31:11Marc:Yeah.

00:31:11Guest:With the hat?

00:31:12Guest:No, the collar.

00:31:13Guest:The collar, the beard?

00:31:14Marc:The beard, long hair?

00:31:15Marc:No, he was clean shaven.

00:31:16Marc:Oh.

00:31:16Guest:He was from Brooklyn.

00:31:17Guest:He was a pretty modern guy, I'd say.

00:31:20Guest:He was born in Brooklyn, and he really liked comedy.

00:31:23Guest:Is he still around?

00:31:23Guest:No, he died in 94.

00:31:24Guest:Oh, sorry.

00:31:25Guest:He died when I was a junior in college.

00:31:27Guest:Oh, really?

00:31:27Guest:Kidney cancer.

00:31:28Guest:Oh, God.

00:31:28Marc:46, very young.

00:31:30Marc:Oh, man.

00:31:31Marc:Does that scare you now?

00:31:32Guest:Yeah.

00:31:33Guest:Yeah, it does.

00:31:34Marc:Because I think, like, I recently have, you know, talked to somebody.

00:31:39Marc:The woman I'm dating, you know, lost her mom in a weird way, you know, when she was very young, and I didn't realize that that would plant a fear of you being in the same situation.

00:31:48Guest:So she was young when she lost her mom?

00:31:50Guest:Right, but her mom was young.

00:31:52Guest:The clock ticks.

00:31:53Marc:Well, the mom was young.

00:31:54Marc:Because as she approaches her mom's age.

00:31:55Marc:Right, right.

00:31:56Guest:Yeah, so that, yeah.

00:31:58Guest:Yeah, because I'm 37.

00:32:00Guest:So it's crazy that he was only 46.

00:32:02Guest:And of course, knowing comics, especially when you started, you know older guys, and it's weird that they're kind of your friends or contemporaries, but then you can be friends with the guy who's in his 40s.

00:32:09Guest:Sure.

00:32:10Guest:When you're in your late 20s and stuff.

00:32:11Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:32:12Guest:I'm knowing people who are older than my dad was when he died, so it is so strange.

00:32:16Guest:And you're gonna be that age.

00:32:17Marc:I'm older than your dad when he died.

00:32:19Marc:Is that right?

00:32:19Marc:I'm 47.

00:32:20Marc:Wow.

00:32:21Marc:Now I'm scared.

00:32:23Guest:You're over the hump, man.

00:32:26Marc:See, I can make it about me.

00:32:27Guest:How do I disarm this weird dark pit I just dumped us into?

00:32:30Guest:See, that's what I like about, and not to kiss your ass here, but you go back and forth.

00:32:34Guest:You talk about real stuff, you talk about comedy, how they blend.

00:32:37Guest:I mean, it is interesting.

00:32:38Guest:It's not just, hey, when you did this bit, whatever.

00:32:41Guest:And it's not also just, oh, tears of a clown, everything sucks.

00:32:43Guest:There's a balance.

00:32:44Marc:No, I think there's a balance with most of us after a certain point that, you know, if it's all tears of a clown, you're probably not functioning that well on stage anymore.

00:32:52Marc:That I found that in talking to people that generally that you can definitely envelop yourself in your own shit cloud and take yourself right out of the fucking game.

00:33:03Guest:Yes.

00:33:03Guest:And but what's weird, too, is you can envelop yourself in that shit cloud and do wealth.

00:33:08Guest:You can be pretty deep in the shit cloud and still be getting like money and jobs and stuff.

00:33:12Marc:Well, yeah, that's if you if you are a shining light under your own shit cloud and you can make everybody else's shit cloud seem like a friendly, happy place.

00:33:20Guest:You can pierce through it.

00:33:22Marc:Sure, man.

00:33:22Marc:A lot of people, they barter in shit clouds.

00:33:27Guest:Yeah.

00:33:27Marc:I mean, it's definitely a comic style.

00:33:31Guest:When it's inauthentic, I think that's what pisses people off sometimes, when they find that out.

00:33:35Guest:The inauthentic shit cloud?

00:33:36Guest:Yeah.

00:33:36Marc:That guy's not really fucked up.

00:33:38Marc:You have to be really in your shit cloud.

00:33:39Marc:Yeah, yeah.

00:33:40Marc:No fake shit clouds.

00:33:41Marc:Yeah.

00:33:42Marc:That's the t-shirt.

00:33:43Marc:I don't know.

00:33:44Guest:But did you grow up in a religious home then?

00:33:46Guest:Not really.

00:33:47Guest:So my dad was, so he was this Greek priest in the Greek religion, the Greek Orthodox religion.

00:33:52Guest:So you can get married before you become a priest, but you can't get married after you become a priest.

00:33:57Guest:So you got to get in under the wire.

00:33:59Guest:Yeah.

00:33:59Guest:Yeah, so what happens is they go to college and then seminary school.

00:34:03Guest:Yeah.

00:34:04Guest:Seminary, I guess it's just called.

00:34:05Guest:And the last thing they do is they get ordained, and that's the turnstile you go through that you can't come back.

00:34:12Guest:So they'll go through seven years of school, a lot of these guys, and just wait and look for a wife before they do that ceremony.

00:34:16Guest:Oh, really?

00:34:17Guest:That last thing.

00:34:18Marc:So they're out there just sort of like, gotta make this happen.

00:34:20Guest:Just trying to hook up.

00:34:21Guest:The caller's about to strut me down.

00:34:24Marc:That's a good pitch, too.

00:34:25Marc:How many women go for that?

00:34:26Marc:Ah, priest?

00:34:27Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:34:28Guest:That sounds hot.

00:34:28Guest:Right, yeah.

00:34:29Guest:So my dad met my mom young, so through school they were together.

00:34:33Guest:And she was in Brooklyn.

00:34:35Guest:He was visiting home, I think, and

00:34:37Guest:He's first generation?

00:34:38Guest:He's his first generation when you're born here?

00:34:40Guest:Or is that?

00:34:41Marc:Yeah.

00:34:41Guest:Yes.

00:34:42Guest:Okay.

00:34:42Guest:He's first generation.

00:34:43Guest:And my mother, oh, he was one and a half, I think.

00:34:47Guest:One parent was born here and one wasn't.

00:34:49Guest:And my mom's, both her parents are born in Greece or from Greece.

00:34:53Marc:She had like a very rich, like I always, whenever somebody, maybe it's a stereotype, but I just picture if you had actual Greek, Greek grandparents, that must've been, I just see it as lively.

00:35:04Marc:Yes.

00:35:04Marc:That there's a lot of eating.

00:35:06Marc:Yes.

00:35:06Marc:and maybe spontaneous dancing.

00:35:10Marc:There's a big clan.

00:35:11Marc:Lamb involved.

00:35:12Guest:For better and worse, lamb.

00:35:13Guest:We'd have the whole lamb on this.

00:35:14Marc:On Easter?

00:35:15Guest:Chop its head off in the garage.

00:35:16Guest:Oh, you did all of that?

00:35:17Guest:Yeah.

00:35:18Marc:Really?

00:35:18Guest:Did you guys eat the head?

00:35:20Guest:I didn't, but they made a soup out of it.

00:35:21Guest:They did, right?

00:35:22Guest:Yeah, with the brains and the eyes and stuff.

00:35:24Marc:Yeah, yeah, and the eyes.

00:35:24Marc:Yeah.

00:35:24Guest:Oh, God.

00:35:26Guest:Yeah, all that.

00:35:26Guest:You had to deal with that, huh?

00:35:27Guest:I grew up with all that.

00:35:28Guest:So I grew up going to church every Sunday.

00:35:31Guest:I was an altar boy.

00:35:32Guest:I went with my dad.

00:35:33Guest:And I was, until I left for college, I was in altar.

00:35:36Guest:I'd just go with him every Sunday.

00:35:38Guest:Really?

00:35:39Guest:Yeah, I'd just go to church.

00:35:41Guest:But the funny thing is, my church at least, a lot of the Greek ones,

00:35:45Guest:it's in archaic Greek, the whole service.

00:35:47Guest:It's just ritual.

00:35:48Marc:You don't know the word.

00:35:49Marc:It's like Hebrew.

00:35:49Marc:Yeah, no, I get it.

00:35:49Marc:Is that how it is?

00:35:50Marc:Sure, sure.

00:35:51Guest:You don't know the words.

00:35:52Guest:I don't know what they're saying.

00:35:52Guest:You just learn your gig for your bar mitzvah and then you're out.

00:35:55Guest:Exactly.

00:35:55Guest:And I didn't, we never talked about the Bible.

00:35:58Guest:I don't know anything about the Bible.

00:35:59Guest:I'm not,

00:36:00Guest:I don't think I'm religious.

00:36:01Guest:I don't even know if I'm religious anymore.

00:36:02Marc:Well, that's a good question, though, because I find that as well in growing up in a religion.

00:36:06Marc:But we were conservative, but we didn't go much.

00:36:08Marc:High holidays.

00:36:08Marc:But I went to Hebrew school and whatnot, and I never learned the language.

00:36:13Marc:But I think you have to be taught how to use God.

00:36:18Marc:If no one's going to teach you how to use God, it's just this weird, detached thing.

00:36:21Marc:I was never taught what it meant to believe.

00:36:26Marc:Right.

00:36:27Marc:Were you?

00:36:28Marc:No.

00:36:28Marc:And your dad was a priest, so he kind of... Yeah, it's the same thing.

00:36:31Marc:He just assumed you'd pick it up?

00:36:32Marc:I think so.

00:36:33Guest:We were a non-communicative family in a lot of ways when I look back.

00:36:37Guest:Now, I was 20 when he died, so maybe I would have just been coming around to ask more of those questions, but I remember one of your bits that I really liked, and I...

00:36:44Guest:Tell me if I'm wrong about it, because I remember then.

00:36:46Guest:I hope it's my bit.

00:36:47Guest:I think it's your bit.

00:36:48Guest:It's about believing in something.

00:36:53Guest:Yeah.

00:36:54Guest:Kind of just in case.

00:36:54Guest:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:36:55Marc:Right?

00:36:56Marc:Most people believe in God just in case.

00:36:58Marc:Yeah.

00:36:58Marc:You don't want to get into, you know what I mean?

00:37:00Marc:You don't want to die and go, oh, okay, I'm sorry.

00:37:02Marc:Right, I remember you acting it out.

00:37:04Marc:There's a tap dancing you kind of do on stage.

00:37:05Guest:Right, and then there's the walk downstairs, right.

00:37:07Guest:Right, it's like the downside is so much greater.

00:37:09Guest:Right.

00:37:10Guest:by not believing than what you sacrifice by believing.

00:37:13Guest:But it's an interesting, I often wonder, maybe because my dad was a priest, how do I acquire beliefs?

00:37:20Guest:What do I even believe?

00:37:21Guest:You probably have some.

00:37:22Guest:I think I have some, but maybe as a comic, I don't know how many people, I question a lot of stuff.

00:37:28Guest:I'm just uncertain about so much, and I think that's hard in a business that trades in confidence.

00:37:33Guest:Because someone who blindly believes has the benefit of just

00:37:38Guest:Blind confidence.

00:37:39Guest:They just have a faith in the common, even if it's insanely in themselves.

00:37:42Guest:Talk about something.

00:37:43Marc:But I think that a lot of that confidence, like somebody who has faith doesn't necessarily have confidence.

00:37:48Marc:I mean, part of the struggle, you know, in dealing with the idea of sin and the idea of accepting your own sin and accepting that we're flawed, that is not the most confident place in the world.

00:37:59Marc:I mean, but no, but there's faith does have confidence folded into itself, it seems.

00:38:04Marc:Right.

00:38:04Marc:But I think you're right.

00:38:05Marc:There's a fundamental... I think the idea of questioning is part of a comic's makeup.

00:38:10Marc:Finding bits and stuff.

00:38:11Marc:So anyway... Well, in a way, if you look at what you do, if you look at one-liners and looking at your book, that you do drawings, that these... I have always found that poetry, in its raw sense...

00:38:24Marc:And I think some people may read the Bible that way as well, that if a poem works or if even if a one liner works, that you get that moment of closure where you get that satisfaction.

00:38:35Guest:Absolutely.

00:38:36Marc:And in the beginning, there was the word.

00:38:38Marc:I mean, that is, you know, line one, isn't it of Genesis?

00:38:40Marc:So you are in a way it's all an equation of of of feeling your place in the world.

00:38:46Guest:yeah there are these little end points yeah where you can quantify results right and then when you get tired of your end points you got to create some new end points if you if you run at end points you're like fuck everything's fucked i remember louie telling me once he's he saw me and he was like he's like yeah those i like this bit i like that bit he's like he's like you're a fastball pitcher yeah he's like you'll grow out of that but right it's hard to keep throwing the heat it's like one liner one liner one liner he's like you know

00:39:11Marc:right you'll develop you'll figure something else out well he was not well he was never a fastball pitcher no he was he's definitely a curveball pitcher yeah I love his silly absurd yeah back in the day right yeah but no but yeah he's definitely grown out of that so all right so you grew up with a priest and what'd your mom do

00:39:29Marc:Nutritionist.

00:39:30Marc:A priest in a nutritionist.

00:39:31Guest:A dietician at nursing homes in our town in Jersey there.

00:39:35Marc:Oh really?

00:39:35Guest:She made it into a business where she got consulting, she got other dieticians to work under her so she could do the menus at more than one nursing home at a time and she would consult.

00:39:44Guest:That's an entrepreneurial good thing.

00:39:46Guest:Well then we had a stand at the boardwalk at Jersey Shore.

00:39:50Guest:Really?

00:39:50Guest:This is in the 80s, but we had a Greek food stand called Shorty Shish Kebab.

00:39:54Guest:That doesn't sound healthy.

00:39:55Guest:We had funnel cakes and yeah, everything was on.

00:39:59Guest:So your mom, did she not partake in that?

00:40:01Guest:So she got her siblings to come down from Brooklyn in the summer and her dad and mom in this seasonal business my mom worked at as well.

00:40:08Guest:She did like kind of two jobs.

00:40:10Marc:So it's sort of, well that's interesting on a spiritual level that she had this light and dark side where she'd be pushing funnel cakes to the kids but then she'd go to the nursing home and say, how about some greens?

00:40:20Guest:That's funny, never thought of that.

00:40:23Guest:See, if I were that kind of comic, I could do this.

00:40:25Guest:I never talk, like, you know, I'm doing jokes about rowboats and balloons and shit.

00:40:28Guest:I don't think about, like, here's my mother, like, yeah.

00:40:32Marc:Yeah, the light and the dark side.

00:40:34Guest:No, but seriously, that is exactly right.

00:40:36Guest:It was cheeseburgers and funnel cakes and shish kebab, and it's all about business, a very conservative family.

00:40:43Guest:It's all about, like, making money.

00:40:45Marc:Your dad, the priest, was in on the shish kebab biz?

00:40:48Marc:No.

00:40:48Guest:He kind of morally couldn't be.

00:40:50Marc:Yeah, he wasn't in on it.

00:40:51Guest:A conflict of interest.

00:40:52Guest:But in a kind of traditional Greek enclave there, it was weird that, oh, the priest's wife, which has a title, presbyteta, they call her.

00:40:59Guest:Really?

00:41:00Guest:Yeah, she's like the first lady in a sense of the church.

00:41:03Guest:It's not becoming to be this kind of hustler.

00:41:07Guest:Slewing cheeseburgers?

00:41:08Guest:Yeah, this kind of entrepreneur.

00:41:09Guest:The priest shouldn't, because then we got a diner, which we still have, my family.

00:41:13Guest:So my mom took all the money.

00:41:14Marc:Come on, you kidding me with this?

00:41:15Marc:I'm serious.

00:41:15Marc:You got a diner?

00:41:16Marc:We have a diner in Jersey.

00:41:17Marc:That is so traditional.

00:41:19Marc:It's the truest stereotype I know.

00:41:21Marc:A Greek diner in New Jersey.

00:41:23Marc:That is the home of the original Greek diners.

00:41:25Marc:It's the truest.

00:41:26Marc:Astoria and Jersey.

00:41:28Guest:In fact, when I was in college, one of my roommates was from Beijing, from China, named Bing.

00:41:34Guest:You have a guy come overseas, and he doesn't know anything about American culture.

00:41:37Marc:Did you make him laugh?

00:41:38Marc:Yeah.

00:41:38Guest:But he was really Chinese?

00:41:41Guest:He was really Chinese.

00:41:42Guest:He had been at Tiananmen Square actually.

00:41:44Guest:And his parents were both theoretical physicists, really interesting guy.

00:41:48Guest:Comes over, starts over, starts freshman year over in America at Yale.

00:41:53Guest:He had done like a year at Peking University but had to be in the military for a year as punishment for Tiananmen Square because he was, I don't know, there or something.

00:41:59Guest:So anyway, we're telling about America.

00:42:02Guest:This roommate's telling him this stuff.

00:42:03Guest:And I said, Bing, here's one of the truest stereotypes.

00:42:05Guest:Greek people own diners.

00:42:08Guest:Kind of, you know, I was joking around, but I was like, diners in America are usually owned by Greek people and Greek people usually own diners.

00:42:13Guest:Pretty much all of them.

00:42:14Marc:All Greek people.

00:42:16Guest:I said pretty much, you know.

00:42:17Guest:So it was one holiday break and he was, he's not going back to China.

00:42:21Guest:He can't go back to China.

00:42:22Guest:So on the holidays he would just stick around campus and stuff.

00:42:25Guest:He decided to go to Atlantic City one break.

00:42:27Guest:Drove down from New Haven with another Chinese student.

00:42:29Guest:These two guys.

00:42:30Guest:He was obsessed with gambling and cops and like all this American, just stuff they couldn't have over there.

00:42:36Guest:He's driving down and he saw the sign for my town.

00:42:38Guest:He got off the highway and he saw a diner and he went into it.

00:42:42Guest:It wasn't my family's diner, it was another diner.

00:42:45Guest:And he said, he just walked inside, he said, do you know Dimitri?

00:42:48Guest:And they were like, yeah.

00:42:51Guest:So that diner owner called my uncle.

00:42:53Guest:No!

00:42:54Guest:Yeah, and they called, and then I went over to the diner.

00:42:56Guest:This was before cell phones, so of course he couldn't call me.

00:42:58Guest:This is 1994 or something.

00:43:01Marc:And you went and met him at the other diner?

00:43:02Guest:So I went and met him at the diner.

00:43:03Guest:Did you take him over to your dad's diner?

00:43:05Guest:No, no, he just went on his way to Atlanta.

00:43:06Marc:So what part of your family owns this diner?

00:43:08Guest:My mom, originally it was my mom, grandparents, and my uncle were all partners.

00:43:14Guest:My grandmother sold her share to my uncle, so now it's my mom and my uncle.

00:43:16Marc:Well, you know, the guy in Madison, Wisconsin, who owns the comedy club there, he's a Greek guy.

00:43:21Marc:Is that right?

00:43:22Marc:And he's a restaurant guy.

00:43:22Marc:I've never been there.

00:43:25Marc:I think he acquired it recently, but he's not a comedy guy, but he bought the business because he runs restaurants.

00:43:30Marc:So what is it about Greeks that you think, why?

00:43:33Marc:Because a good Greek diner,

00:43:35Marc:What makes a good Greek diner good in Jersey, in my mind, is if they have fresh fish, if they have enough turnover to make the food as fresh as possible.

00:43:46Marc:I like diner rice pudding, so if they have good rice pudding, I'm on board with that.

00:43:50Marc:And also they have some Greek menu.

00:43:52Marc:Tzatziki's got to be good.

00:43:53Marc:Greek corner, yeah, with a little symbol around it.

00:43:56Marc:And then if they make a moussaka, then it's fucking awesome.

00:43:59Marc:Like if they do that fresh.

00:44:00Marc:But what is it then?

00:44:02Marc:What do you think it is?

00:44:03Marc:Why the Greeks and diners?

00:44:04Marc:Yeah.

00:44:04Guest:I did a paper when I was in college.

00:44:07Guest:No, you did not.

00:44:08Guest:Yeah.

00:44:08Guest:My senior, as a history major, I did my, I'm trying to remember what I did here.

00:44:13Guest:My senior essay, you had to do a thesis at the end of it, like some 50-page paper in order to graduate with that major.

00:44:19Guest:And mine I did on the,

00:44:20Guest:the role that Greek immigrant women played in the Greek community in America.

00:44:26Guest:Because you know how a lot of cultures, they come over to America and they get more into their culture.

00:44:31Guest:They define the edges of it more clearly once they're taken away from the kind of full culture.

00:44:39Marc:You know what I mean?

00:44:39Guest:Like now you're Greek living next to somebody Chinese or Italian or whatever.

00:44:42Guest:So now you're defining your Greekness or whatever it is.

00:44:44Guest:And also you want to succeed in America.

00:44:47Guest:Right, yes.

00:44:47Guest:So you kind of glom together.

00:44:49Guest:I don't know, I was trying to figure out this essay and I had to interview people and ask them questions.

00:44:55Guest:What I found was a lot of the, and I still don't know why specifically diners, but a lot of the Greek immigrant people, the guys, they would work on Sundays.

00:45:02Guest:the moms would take all the kids to church.

00:45:04Guest:So when I was growing up, everybody I knew, I knew everybody's mom, but I didn't know their dads, because this guy has a diner, that guy has a flower store, this guy has a dry cleaner or whatever.

00:45:13Guest:But they sold candy and flowers in New York, and then they got into the food business.

00:45:18Guest:Food business, I understand, because you don't really have to speak to anybody.

00:45:22Marc:I think that's what this guy said.

00:45:24Marc:Is that right?

00:45:25Marc:Yeah, he said that a lot of it, but there must be some sense of food, because for food to be good, you've got to be on top of it.

00:45:30Guest:It's also where they're from.

00:45:31Guest:I think that's, while Greece is dry, you do have, you can raise sheep.

00:45:37Guest:Right.

00:45:37Guest:And olives.

00:45:38Guest:Right.

00:45:38Guest:My ancestors, I found out, were olive farmers, basically.

00:45:41Marc:Really?

00:45:42Guest:Yeah.

00:45:42Guest:My mom's side, at least, it goes back, is just olive farmers.

00:45:44Guest:Yeah.

00:45:44Guest:for generations.

00:45:45Marc:I think so.

00:45:46Marc:Well, it's just, well, it's just interesting that the language and came up with that guy too, is that, you know, you just, and there's something, there's something very communicative about good food that transcends language.

00:45:56Marc:I think so.

00:45:57Marc:You give someone a good plate of food and you're like, and it's intimate.

00:46:00Marc:You could kill him.

00:46:01Marc:Yeah, sure.

00:46:01Marc:You could kill him with the food.

00:46:02Marc:I don't think anyone's,

00:46:03Marc:really thinking about that.

00:46:04Marc:But you know what I'm saying.

00:46:05Marc:They're putting it in their body.

00:46:06Marc:Sure, if I walk into a diner, it's not Greeks, I'm like, I don't know.

00:46:09Marc:I don't know if this is fresh.

00:46:11Marc:They might be trying to kill me.

00:46:12Marc:But the Jews have the long history of delicatessens.

00:46:16Marc:Yeah, I mean, I just heard a piece on NPR about there's a trouble in the deli world because of the price of meat.

00:46:23Marc:uh and they interviewed a guy who owned a deli in berkeley california it's like there's no delis like it's just like there's no greek diners yeah off of the west off of the east coast right i mean there's some and they're obviously greeks and the rest but the the key to a good deli or good diners you have to have people it has to have turnover yeah the key to any restaurant funny you say that that's what they would say we gotta have turnover breakfast is important turnover yeah yeah because drilled into my head because if anything's sitting for more than a day it's garbage

00:46:50Marc:So usually what defines good food is that if they're making it fresh every day, then it's good.

00:46:55Marc:You can't have a brisket sitting around for two days or a corned beef.

00:46:58Marc:Whatever.

00:46:58Marc:I'm glad we covered this stuff.

00:47:00Guest:The last thing I'll say is growing up, I had drilled into my head business, business, business.

00:47:05Guest:Right.

00:47:05Guest:I think that's a first generation thing too.

00:47:07Guest:That's a first generation thing.

00:47:09Guest:My friend told me once, I always love this, because to me it makes a lot of sense and it's my reality, that

00:47:15Guest:people who are laborers want their kids to be merchants and want them to be business people.

00:47:19Guest:People who are merchants, business people want their kids to be professionals.

00:47:23Guest:Professionals want their kids to be professors, academics.

00:47:25Guest:Academics want their kids to be artists, and artists don't care what their kids are.

00:47:29Guest:Right.

00:47:30Guest:If you skip any step in that wheel, it pisses off.

00:47:33Marc:And really, really rich people just want their kids not to fuck everything up.

00:47:37Guest:Just want them to not kill themselves.

00:47:40Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:47:40Marc:Be an artist, just don't kill yourself.

00:47:42Marc:Yeah.

00:47:43Marc:Yeah, so all right, so you do comedy for a little while, you did Looney, you got your groove, and then you became, what happened?

00:47:50Marc:You went into writing?

00:47:51Guest:Yeah, so what happened was I started doing stand-up there in New York, temp jobs.

00:47:56Guest:When I dropped out of law school, I had to make a living.

00:47:59Guest:What'd your parents do to you?

00:48:01Guest:Everybody was disappointed.

00:48:02Guest:My father had died a couple years earlier at that point, so I don't know what he said.

00:48:05Guest:You have sibs?

00:48:06Guest:Brother and sister, I'm the oldest.

00:48:07Guest:Were they doing all right?

00:48:08Guest:Yeah.

00:48:10Marc:Were they on the right track?

00:48:11Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:48:12Marc:Enough in college and stuff.

00:48:14Guest:So everybody was still young.

00:48:16Guest:So I thought I got to make a living here.

00:48:19Guest:Everybody was surprised and disappointed that I was doing comedy.

00:48:22Guest:And I got from my family, you're doing comedy, but you're not funny.

00:48:24Guest:You know, all this kind of stuff.

00:48:26Marc:You're like Mitch Hedberg.

00:48:27Marc:Is that right?

00:48:28Marc:No, no, no.

00:48:29Guest:Your family said that.

00:48:31Guest:Yeah, right.

00:48:32Guest:My mom's like, I don't know this guy's name, but I just heard one joke from this guy.

00:48:37Guest:Are you doing this guy?

00:48:39Guest:What's going on?

00:48:40Guest:Ma, that's even worse than that.

00:48:42Guest:Yeah, so I was a temp, so I was a proofreader.

00:48:46Guest:First I was a secretary, and then I became a proofreader, and that paid more per hour, just proofreading legal documents and things like that.

00:48:52Guest:So you had some experience with legalese.

00:48:55Guest:Yeah, so I could read the documents.

00:48:57Guest:And then in 2000, I got my first stand-up spot on Conan.

00:49:01Guest:They let me do a spot on Conan because I had applied for a writing job at TV Funhouse at Smigel's show.

00:49:06Guest:Right, the cartoon.

00:49:06Guest:The cartoon show he was doing with Dino.

00:49:08Guest:Right, so Conan had been on about four years already.

00:49:10Guest:Yeah.

00:49:11Guest:So I submitted a writing packet with a tape of me from Caroline's to Smigel's team there to get a job on that show.

00:49:18Guest:I got a meeting with Smigel.

00:49:20Guest:He was really cool.

00:49:20Guest:I went and he said, he said, I like your packet.

00:49:23Guest:And they were gonna hire one person now at this point.

00:49:25Guest:There were three of us left.

00:49:26Guest:It was down in the final three.

00:49:28Guest:And he said, I really like your standup.

00:49:31Guest:So I didn't know this, but he gave my tape to maybe Frank and Paul or to come or somebody over there.

00:49:36Guest:And so then they just called me and they said, you wanna do the show next week?

00:49:38Guest:So they booked me off my Caroline's tape.

00:49:39Guest:I was thrilled, but I was going through a divorce at the time.

00:49:42Guest:I didn't have a place to live.

00:49:44Guest:Whoa, whoa, whoa, when did you pick up the wife in this story?

00:49:46Guest:Yeah, I got married when I was 25, the year after I dropped out of law school.

00:49:50Guest:I got engaged in law school.

00:49:51Marc:I think I met you right after you got divorced.

00:49:55Guest:Is that possible?

00:49:55Guest:That's possible, yeah.

00:49:56Guest:Yeah, because I started doing stand-up as a married guy.

00:49:59Guest:Right.

00:50:00Guest:No, as an engaged guy, got married, and then I'm divorced two years later.

00:50:03Guest:So it's funny, I'm walking around, everybody's looking at me like, oh, this little boy, look at this kid.

00:50:07Guest:I'd already been married and divorced.

00:50:08Marc:I'd already had like some- What the hell happened with that?

00:50:11Guest:That was my prom date.

00:50:13Guest:That was my... Your high school sweetheart.

00:50:15Guest:Kind of, yeah.

00:50:16Guest:She liked me as a friend.

00:50:17Guest:We went to the prom as friends.

00:50:19Guest:Right.

00:50:19Guest:And then we started going out in college.

00:50:21Guest:She went to Duke.

00:50:22Guest:I was at Yale.

00:50:22Guest:We did this long distance thing.

00:50:24Guest:Yeah.

00:50:25Guest:And she became a doctor.

00:50:26Guest:We went to New York together.

00:50:29Guest:Yeah.

00:50:30Guest:I for law school, she for medical school.

00:50:32Guest:She was at NYU Med.

00:50:34Guest:I was at NYU Law.

00:50:35Guest:I had gotten into Harvard Law.

00:50:36Guest:It was my dream.

00:50:38Guest:I turned it down because I was afraid of losing her.

00:50:40Guest:I went to New York.

00:50:40Guest:And I didn't get money at Harvard, so I'm glad I didn't go there, because I would have had debt.

00:50:44Guest:I would have had a real problem.

00:50:45Guest:So I went to NYU, and I didn't like it.

00:50:49Guest:I just didn't like it immediately, and I didn't know what else to do with my life.

00:50:52Guest:When I tell you I want to be a lawyer from seventh grade, that was my plan.

00:50:55Guest:I'm sure most of the guys you've talked to, maybe yourself included, comedy nerds as kids, or at least knew a lot about comedy, not me.

00:51:04Guest:But what was the plan?

00:51:05Guest:What were you going to do with law?

00:51:07Guest:You know, I don't know.

00:51:08Guest:I remember saying I'm going to be a corporate lawyer in seventh grade.

00:51:11Guest:I didn't even know what that was.

00:51:12Guest:It just sounded impressive.

00:51:13Guest:It's that immigrant thing of like, what are you going to be?

00:51:16Guest:A doctor?

00:51:16Guest:A lawyer?

00:51:16Guest:What are you going to do?

00:51:18Guest:I don't want to be a doctor.

00:51:19Guest:I'll be a lawyer.

00:51:20Marc:But you had no sort of grand aspirations.

00:51:23Marc:You didn't think like I could be president or politics or anything?

00:51:25Guest:You know, I was president of, in sixth grade, I think was the first time I was elected president of my class.

00:51:32Guest:Yeah.

00:51:32Guest:And through law school, I won president or vice president every year.

00:51:37Guest:Never lost an election.

00:51:38Guest:In law school, by the time I dropped out, I was the vice president of the SBA.

00:51:42Guest:So was politics a thing for you?

00:51:44Guest:I didn't like politics.

00:51:44Guest:That's the weird thing.

00:51:45Guest:I think in retrospect, I liked talking in front of people.

00:51:50Guest:So I like giving the speech.

00:51:51Guest:I would just go give the speech and get some laughs.

00:51:53Guest:Did you ever get involved in politics?

00:51:54Guest:Yeah, I was a White House intern, summer of 96.

00:51:56Guest:96?

00:51:58Guest:Clinton.

00:51:59Guest:You were at the White House?

00:52:01Guest:Yeah.

00:52:01Guest:Because- In law school, I didn't like law.

00:52:04Guest:So I thought, maybe I'll do public policy.

00:52:05Guest:I'll try to work in politics.

00:52:06Guest:So I applied for a White House internship during my first year of law school.

00:52:10Guest:I got accepted.

00:52:11Guest:So I went to DC after my summer of my first year of law school.

00:52:15Marc:Did you have sex with Clinton?

00:52:16Guest:No, just fooled around.

00:52:17Marc:Okay.

00:52:18Marc:Now, did you get to spend time with him?

00:52:21Guest:Oh no, I shook his hand.

00:52:22Guest:I saw him in the hall a couple times.

00:52:23Guest:That was it?

00:52:24Guest:But I was in the old executive office building.

00:52:26Guest:I could see the sharpshooters on the roof of the White House every day.

00:52:28Guest:It was kind of interesting.

00:52:29Guest:Yeah.

00:52:29Guest:But you know, I got there and I realized, I'm not passionate about this.

00:52:32Guest:And this isn't, I thought you were gonna say, it's like, no, great place, the White House.

00:52:36Marc:Not for me.

00:52:36Guest:Yeah.

00:52:37Guest:Look, we're lucky.

00:52:37Guest:I think most of the comics I know, we, in that pyramid of needs, we come from closer to the top.

00:52:44Guest:For whatever our families did before us, you get access and you get a chance.

00:52:48Marc:Some people, there's plenty of comics that come from nothing.

00:52:51Guest:Right.

00:52:51Guest:And in a way, they have something more raw and real to talk about if they want to engage with a group of people in a room.

00:52:57Marc:They do.

00:52:57Marc:Well, this seems to be sort of, you're kind of hung up on this, that you have some sort of working class envy.

00:53:04Marc:I think so, yeah.

00:53:05Marc:That perhaps your story doesn't warrant expression in the way of it being a life of rugged integrity or something.

00:53:14Guest:You know what?

00:53:14Guest:I think in New York, it took me a little while to understand that what everybody calls comedy there, a lot of it's tough guy comedy.

00:53:20Marc:That's, oh yeah, that's definitely true.

00:53:22Guest:But you just think, I started there, so I just think that's comedy.

00:53:25Guest:And also I often think of what passes the who gives a shit test.

00:53:28Guest:Very hard test to pass.

00:53:29Marc:Well look, I've had my feet in both worlds in the sense that I'm a pretty thoughtful guy.

00:53:34Marc:I'm an educated guy.

00:53:35Marc:I grew up middle class, certainly on the upper end of middle class, and I always aspired to art and letters, but I never really cut the mustard in that.

00:53:45Marc:I was sort of a fraud with it.

00:53:46Marc:I wrote poetry, I did photography, I read the big books, but I could never compartmentalize anything into something that made sense, but my heart was always in that world.

00:53:55Marc:So when I ended up doing trench comedy or going on Opie and Anthony and stuff, there's part of me that completely engages with that, but then there's this other part of you that they're kind of a battle.

00:54:05Marc:Yeah.

00:54:05Marc:You know, I never had the, I'm more of a pussy inside than I am some sort of, you know, angry, broken man.

00:54:13Marc:And at the same time, still, you're on stage.

00:54:15Marc:Uh-huh.

00:54:15Marc:So it's like, how much of a pussy are you if you're on stage at all?

00:54:18Marc:No, I know, I know, but I'm just saying that, like, I always wonder.

00:54:20Marc:I just see what you're projecting.

00:54:21Marc:The integrity of my story.

00:54:23Marc:I see, yeah.

00:54:23Marc:I'm not a hard luck guy.

00:54:25Marc:and there's something about a sort of hard luck guy or a guy that is sort of like knows himself like is that guy through and through when you see someone's like what's up and you realize like that's all that guy is that you know behind the what's up is not like you know I'd really like to understand Nietzsche you know that you can envy that because they seem to have their shit together and they're not I mean together in the sense that their message is clear

00:54:50Marc:Right, they're not saying they're going, did I say that right?

00:54:53Marc:Am I selling this haircut?

00:54:55Marc:Am I too precious?

00:54:55Marc:Right, right.

00:54:56Guest:I remember one time, another time at Caroline's, I showed up, and I didn't know who it was going to be.

00:55:00Guest:I go in the green room, and Norton's in there.

00:55:02Guest:I think it was Norton Voss.

00:55:03Guest:I don't know if you were there.

00:55:04Guest:There were a few guys there.

00:55:06Guest:And I had this book I just bought.

00:55:08Guest:I think I got it at The Strand.

00:55:09Guest:It was...

00:55:10Guest:how to read, how to fall in love with poetry.

00:55:12Guest:It was like how to read poetry and fall in love.

00:55:14Guest:Oh, that's fucking great.

00:55:15Guest:I just remember seeing the book.

00:55:16Guest:I didn't care about the title, but I'm flipping through books, but I like the meter.

00:55:19Guest:I like to see, again, like just, it's a game to me.

00:55:21Guest:That's just how my head works.

00:55:22Guest:I like just a few words.

00:55:24Guest:Yeah.

00:55:25Guest:But I walk in that room and I have the book.

00:55:27Guest:I think it was Norton's like, what are you reading?

00:55:28Guest:It's just,

00:55:29Guest:It was like 20 minutes of material for these guys.

00:55:32Marc:Oh, God, you must have taken such a load.

00:55:34Guest:I took a load.

00:55:36Guest:But that started to make me laugh, that stuff.

00:55:37Guest:It started to be funny.

00:55:38Guest:I remember one time I was at- Well, that's a big test.

00:55:40Guest:You're going to be a pussy about it?

00:55:42Marc:I know.

00:55:42Marc:Is it funny?

00:55:43Guest:I was at Tinkle once.

00:55:45Marc:I remember Tinkle.

00:55:45Marc:That was a great room all at last.

00:55:47Marc:Todd, Barry, John Benjamin, Dave Cross's thing.

00:55:49Guest:Right, at Piano's.

00:55:50Guest:just down the street from when luna still existed it was kind of protest right remember they started this room so i got to do a spot of tinkle now patrice used to make the rounds that was around the time patrice will bust anybody patrice will bust anybody but patrice had this funny thing where he would do more spots in the alternative rooms than the people me like me who are branded in an alternative comic well he's he's definitely in his alternative universe right but patrice is one of the few guys that can just look at you and rape you

00:56:15Guest:Yes.

00:56:16Guest:Oh man, if you walked up to the cellar and Patrice, if Patrice and Voss were there at the same time.

00:56:20Guest:Just sum you up in two words.

00:56:22Guest:That's right.

00:56:23Guest:And were you there that night that Patrice got in a fight with that tranny?

00:56:26Guest:No, I'm sorry.

00:56:28Guest:Have you heard about that?

00:56:29Guest:No.

00:56:29Guest:This is a separate story, but anyway.

00:56:31Guest:So I go on to Tinkle and I do my thing.

00:56:33Guest:And on my way out, Patrice is at the back of the room, and I say, you're going up next.

00:56:38Guest:Do you want to use my guitar?

00:56:40Guest:Because I know they've all made fun of me with my fucking guitar.

00:56:43Guest:And then I had to leave.

00:56:43Guest:I went to another set, but my friends told me later, like, he did half his set about you.

00:56:47Guest:You just pissed him off so much by just offering him the guitar.

00:56:50Guest:But I thought it'd be great to drop this little bomb and be like, you want to use the guitar?

00:56:53Guest:And then leave.

00:56:54Guest:I'm not there for it.

00:56:55Guest:Yeah, so you took a lot of hits.

00:56:57Marc:You took a lot of hits.

00:56:58Guest:Nobody was ever that mean to me.

00:56:59Guest:I'm sure when I wasn't around.

00:57:00Marc:No, but it is comic hits.

00:57:02Marc:It's comic hits.

00:57:03Guest:It's a compliment, I think, if people even give a shit or acknowledge you to even say something to you.

00:57:07Marc:Right, but also it's a big test of whether or not you're going to survive and whether you're going to stay in it or what are you going to do with it.

00:57:13Marc:So, okay, so what happened with this woman?

00:57:15Marc:She goes on to be a doctor.

00:57:16Marc:Was it one of those situations where...

00:57:18Marc:where she couldn't live with your decision?

00:57:21Guest:I think so, yeah.

00:57:22Marc:I think I broke the contract.

00:57:23Marc:It was like... We're gonna be professionals.

00:57:26Guest:We're gonna be professionals.

00:57:27Guest:You wanna be a comedian?

00:57:29Guest:First it was, you're miserable in law school, take a year off.

00:57:32Guest:Then we'll graduate at the same time.

00:57:34Guest:okay, yeah, you're right, I should do it.

00:57:35Guest:I should just, you know what, let me get on stage because I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life if I don't at least just try this.

00:57:40Guest:And at that point, I had become the kind of funny guy in law school.

00:57:44Guest:Just annoying, I'm sure, and trying to do bits or whatever I was trying to do in law school.

00:57:47Guest:So I, yeah, and I was at NYU, right?

00:57:49Guest:So that's Comedy Cellar, Boston.

00:57:52Guest:It's right across from the Boston.

00:57:54Guest:So I'd leave, and I'd do stand-up, and I like it right away.

00:57:58Guest:That summer was my first set, that July, and I liked it.

00:58:02Guest:And then I bombed that second night, but I was like, I like this, I wanna do this, I should be doing this.

00:58:06Marc:But what was the conversation you had where you realized your marriage was over?

00:58:10Guest:I think what happened was she was doing her residency so she was really busy.

00:58:15Guest:When you're starting, at this point I live in Riverdale.

00:58:20Guest:I'm at 238th Street.

00:58:21Guest:In the Bronx?

00:58:22Guest:Yeah, in the Bronx.

00:58:23Guest:I'm at the second to last stop.

00:58:25Guest:So I'm doing an hour and a half almost each way on the subway every day to get to my temp jobs.

00:58:31Guest:And then to do stand up at night.

00:58:32Marc:And I'm getting up till two 33 in the morning.

00:58:34Marc:Yeah.

00:58:34Guest:And I'm barking at the Boston.

00:58:35Guest:I'm, I'm with Louis Schaefer at this point.

00:58:37Guest:Oh, just trying to get, that's a bad story for anybody.

00:58:40Guest:So I'm just trying to get five minutes.

00:58:43Guest:You know, I'm just trying to get on here.

00:58:44Guest:I'm trying to get on there.

00:58:45Marc:And it was just, she just was like the same.

00:58:46Guest:Well, what happened was we weren't seeing each other much.

00:58:48Guest:She was doing crazy hours.

00:58:49Guest:Every third, fourth day you had to do 24 hours.

00:58:52Guest:So it was like a holding pattern.

00:58:53Marc:Yeah.

00:58:53Guest:Right.

00:58:54Guest:Whatever.

00:58:54Guest:Then we went on vacation.

00:58:55Guest:She got a break.

00:58:56Guest:That's when the marriage fell apart.

00:58:57Guest:Because we had time with each other and the reality of it came out.

00:59:00Guest:And it was just like I broke the contract.

00:59:02Guest:You know, fair enough.

00:59:03Guest:We didn't have kids.

00:59:04Guest:We had no assets.

00:59:05Guest:We had nothing.

00:59:06Guest:So in a way, it was like kind of lucky.

00:59:09Guest:You know, I think we both got hurt, but I left and I went and couched her for a while.

00:59:14Guest:Now back to the story where that's when I had my chance.

00:59:17Guest:I thought, oh my God, I'm going to get an actual job.

00:59:19Guest:I'm going to work on Smigel's show.

00:59:20Guest:Right.

00:59:20Guest:I'm sleeping on Leo's couch.

00:59:22Guest:Leo Allen?

00:59:23Guest:Yeah, I'm at 650 on 9th Avenue.

00:59:24Guest:Yeah.

00:59:25Guest:Where those guys had that place with Johnny Spanish.

00:59:27Marc:He lives in my old apartment now.

00:59:28Guest:Is that right?

00:59:29Marc:Leo does, yeah.

00:59:29Marc:In Queens, right?

00:59:30Guest:Yeah.

00:59:31Guest:So I'm on his couch.

00:59:32Guest:And Smigel says, I'll give you five days to write some more stuff.

00:59:39Guest:And I had to go to internet cafes.

00:59:41Guest:I'm trying to write my packet for Smigel and I didn't get the job.

00:59:43Guest:But I got to do a spot on Conan.

00:59:45Guest:Right.

00:59:45Guest:That was my first thing.

00:59:46Guest:And then I kept temping.

00:59:48Guest:And then like a year later, I got a development deal.

00:59:50Guest:It was my first, after going to Montreal.

00:59:52Guest:Yeah.

00:59:52Guest:That didn't become a show.

00:59:54Guest:And I went back to proofreading.

00:59:55Guest:I kept my day jobs and I just saved them.

00:59:57Guest:What was the pitch on that deal?

00:59:58Guest:The pitch was, there's this guy Mitch Hedberg.

01:00:05Marc:I'm gonna play him.

01:00:06Marc:Hear me out.

01:00:08Guest:The pitch was, I play a tutor who was gonna be an engineer, and he realizes that his first day, this big job he gets, he doesn't want to do it, and he goes back to his college town and becomes a tutor.

01:00:18Guest:And that didn't even get shot, that was for NBC.

01:00:21Marc:Yeah, I had a couple of those.

01:00:23Marc:Okay, so that sinks, you made a few bucks, and you go back to proofreading, and then how do you get the gig on Conan?

01:00:29Guest:My third try, my third packet for Conan, I got hired in 2003.

01:00:33Guest:And I found out when I was in Edinburgh.

01:00:34Guest:That was when I had now done that one-man show, my first one-man show that took me to Scotland.

01:00:39Guest:At the end of that month in Scotland, I got a call.

01:00:41Guest:That was the guitar-heavy one-man show?

01:00:43Guest:Is there another kind?

01:00:45Guest:That's not guitar.

01:00:46Guest:There's only one.

01:00:47Guest:The funny thing is- Was there an easel in that one?

01:00:49Guest:No.

01:00:50Guest:Oh, that was pre-easel.

01:00:51Guest:That was a screen.

01:00:52Guest:That was a PowerPoint presentation.

01:00:54Marc:Guitar and PowerPoint?

01:00:55Guest:I'm going backward.

01:00:55Guest:Yeah, I had guitar and PowerPoint.

01:00:56Guest:The funny thing is, I do, when I go on the road, I sometimes do two hours, which is probably not smart, but I do like a 90-minute show.

01:01:03Guest:I do the easel for seven, maybe 10 minutes.

01:01:06Guest:Right.

01:01:06Guest:Play the guitar for maybe the last 15, 10, 15 minutes.

01:01:09Guest:I am doing stand-up.

01:01:10Guest:I'm doing stand-up.

01:01:11Guest:I tell jokes.

01:01:12Marc:I stand on stage.

01:01:13Marc:But it's such an old fucking school thing.

01:01:15Marc:It's like, yeah.

01:01:17Marc:You know, it doesn't matter how long you do it.

01:01:19Marc:If you pick up a guitar for two minutes.

01:01:20Guest:It's so true.

01:01:21Guest:One time I middled for Dennis Regan at a, what's it called?

01:01:25Guest:Stress Factory.

01:01:26Guest:In Jersey?

01:01:26Guest:In Jersey.

01:01:27Guest:So Vinnie Brand has me come down there open for Dennis Regan.

01:01:31Guest:Nice guy.

01:01:32Guest:Good guy.

01:01:32Guest:he i get there first i put my stuff in the dressing room he shows up and i'm standing outside the dressing room he's like hey i'm dennis dimitri he's like hey you want to go for a walk i'm gonna get a coffee yeah so we go walk around new brunswick or east brunswick wherever it is and he's telling me about his recent gigs yeah i just did this shows fucking guitar comic man i had to follow this guy did like 20 minutes with his guitar we get back to the dressing room he looks and he goes is that your guitar

01:01:57Guest:His heart was broken.

01:01:58Guest:I said, yeah, it's my guitar.

01:01:59Guest:But then I go, I said, I don't do funny songs, though.

01:02:02Guest:You got to understand.

01:02:02Guest:I'm drawing the distinction.

01:02:04Guest:I'm not a guitar comic.

01:02:05Guest:I'm a comic with a guitar.

01:02:06Guest:And he was freaked out.

01:02:09Marc:He didn't have a hard time, did he?

01:02:10Marc:No, he didn't have a hard time.

01:02:11Marc:He was great, and it was fine.

01:02:13Marc:That's Brian's brother.

01:02:14Marc:I wonder if he's still at it.

01:02:15Guest:I wonder.

01:02:15Marc:He was good.

01:02:16Guest:I thought he was funny.

01:02:17Marc:He had good jokes.

01:02:18Guest:Yeah, he had good jokes.

01:02:19Marc:All right, so let's fast forward.

01:02:21Marc:So you get the big award in Edinburgh and everything sort of turns around for you.

01:02:25Marc:You do a TV special.

01:02:27Marc:There's a couple of... We're going to end up here for two hours if we're not careful.

01:02:30Marc:Sorry, yeah.

01:02:30Marc:No, don't apologize.

01:02:31Marc:It's good.

01:02:32Marc:But all right, so you wrote for Conan.

01:02:34Marc:I don't think a lot of people knew that.

01:02:36Marc:And then you got the Perrier Award in Edinburgh.

01:02:39Marc:Then you did a Comedy Central special.

01:02:40Guest:By the way, you went to Edinburgh... I don't want to talk about it.

01:02:44Guest:Okay.

01:02:44Guest:Did you go 2005?

01:02:45Guest:I don't know 2007 I only mention that so people understand how fucking lucky I was that's not false modesty or anything like that I had a good I was set up and my show was fine it was good but a lot of my friends who went the average audience size at that festival was like 8 people

01:03:01Marc:no i know because you have to you know it's a it's a game where you have to get pressed but the fact that you had a a unique show yes that you had an hour that was actually a a show it was a structured show it was a one-man show that's where i wasn't lucky i was in the mix at least right and from there i was lucky all right so then you come back to the states you get what your first special

01:03:20Guest:Yeah, so I find out I get Conan, and I come back, and I start at Conan in September, right after I get back from Scotland.

01:03:27Guest:And I shoot my Comedy Central Presents in October, I think it was.

01:03:30Guest:The half hour.

01:03:31Guest:The half hour.

01:03:32Guest:And that comes out in that spring then.

01:03:34Guest:Right.

01:03:34Guest:And then by the next September, I quit Conan.

01:03:37Guest:Right.

01:03:37Guest:Because I wanted to tour.

01:03:38Guest:I just wanted to stay out.

01:03:39Marc:Right, well, you caught on.

01:03:40Guest:Yeah.

01:03:41Guest:Right.

01:03:41Guest:Enough.

01:03:42Guest:I caught on enough where I was getting a couple colleges here and there.

01:03:44Guest:Yeah, with the kids, right.

01:03:45Guest:And then I went back.

01:03:45Guest:I did Edinburgh four summers in a row, and then I went to Melbourne two summers, two springs.

01:03:50Marc:Yeah.

01:03:51Guest:I was going around.

01:03:51Marc:And how was your draw there in the international market?

01:03:54Guest:Pretty good.

01:03:55Guest:At Edinburgh, I was decent.

01:03:58Guest:I did fine.

01:03:59Guest:Yeah.

01:03:59Guest:In Melbourne, it was great.

01:04:02Guest:It kind of built.

01:04:03Guest:I went to two years.

01:04:04Guest:I loved Melbourne.

01:04:05Guest:I thought it was awesome.

01:04:05Guest:Is that where you were?

01:04:06Guest:Yeah, I went to for two weeks.

01:04:07Marc:It was great.

01:04:08Guest:I had a great time.

01:04:09Guest:And then, yeah, so that's what I was doing.

01:04:10Marc:I was just traveling around a lot.

01:04:11Marc:All right, so before we get to more current stuff in terms of the demise of the Comedy Central show, you did a couple movie parts.

01:04:19Marc:You did a part in Taking Woodstock, the Ang Lee movie, which was really awful.

01:04:25Marc:Thank you.

01:04:27Marc:I mean, it's a very hard period to capture without it looking silly.

01:04:31Marc:Yeah.

01:04:32Marc:And I love his movies.

01:04:33Marc:And I watched it.

01:04:35Marc:And my feeling was, though... I can't picture you just watching... No, it came on TV.

01:04:41Marc:Oh, okay, okay.

01:04:41Marc:And I'm not against the 60s, and I like it.

01:04:44Marc:No, yeah, not because of that.

01:04:46Marc:It's a very hard era to capture without it looking like a costume party.

01:04:49Marc:I agree.

01:04:50Marc:Now, how did you get that part?

01:04:52Marc:I got that part...

01:04:53Guest:Okay, at that time, my show for Comedy Central was now in pre-production.

01:05:01Guest:I get a call from my agent saying, they want you to meet at Focus Features for this Ang Lee movie.

01:05:09Guest:They called us and they want you to come in.

01:05:10Guest:I said, all right.

01:05:11Guest:So I went and I met with Seamus and Ang Lee.

01:05:14Guest:And then I left.

01:05:14Guest:I said, what's the deal?

01:05:15Guest:How am I getting this?

01:05:17Guest:It turned out James Seamus' daughter,

01:05:20Guest:liked my standup and he was working on the script for that movie and they were at home at their table as a family and she's like what about this guy and showed him a clip of me from YouTube and he was like oh that'd be interesting and looked into I guess more of my stuff and so he brought me and thought I could play that guy and then I auditioned for Aang a week later I did like four or five scenes for him videotape me at this casting agency and then they said you got the part and

01:05:43Marc:Now, when you read the script, because you're not a trained actor.

01:05:47Guest:No.

01:05:47Marc:You're a comedian.

01:05:48Marc:Right.

01:05:49Marc:It's difficult for us to act effectively.

01:05:51Marc:That is true.

01:05:52Marc:And now you've got a part where you're sexually confused and you have to kiss a man.

01:05:57Marc:Yeah.

01:05:58Marc:I was worried.

01:05:59Guest:You were.

01:05:59Guest:I was worried.

01:06:00Guest:And not that I thought it would be hard.

01:06:03Guest:I don't think I'm any more homophobic than hopefully an open-minded normal person is.

01:06:08Guest:But I was worried, number one, it's going to feel weird to kiss a guy that I'm supposed to be in love with.

01:06:15Guest:It's not doing a bit on SNL where everyone cheers.

01:06:18Guest:And number two, I don't want to be a cartoon.

01:06:21Guest:I don't want to now go overboard and be like, you know what I mean?

01:06:24Guest:What an asshole.

01:06:25Guest:That's how he plays a gay guy?

01:06:26Guest:Right.

01:06:27Guest:It just seemed like such a challenge.

01:06:29Guest:It was a challenge.

01:06:30Guest:And there's a love story in that movie that got cut out.

01:06:32Guest:Between you and him?

01:06:33Guest:Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

01:06:34Guest:Me and Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

01:06:35Guest:He's cheating on his wife and I have a breakup scene with him and a love scene.

01:06:40Guest:We shot those.

01:06:41Guest:I did that.

01:06:42Guest:I did that work.

01:06:44Guest:And it was not in there.

01:06:45Guest:I was so bummed out.

01:06:46Marc:I'm not even approaching it in these questions about the idea.

01:06:52Marc:I'm certainly not homophobic, and I have no issue with capturing a homosexual relationship.

01:06:59Marc:But the fact that as somebody going in as a comic who's not an actor to sort of cross this line, and you saw it in the script,

01:07:07Marc:You're like, and it's not a homophobic thing.

01:07:09Marc:It's really, how is it going to look to me sitting at home?

01:07:12Marc:That's Dimitri Martin, who's not an actor and he's kissing a guy.

01:07:15Guest:Right.

01:07:16Guest:And I'm not, I'm also, as comedians go, I wouldn't say I'm the most effusive, dramatic guy on stage.

01:07:23Guest:You know what I mean?

01:07:23Guest:Guys act out their shit a lot on stage.

01:07:26Marc:And I don't.

01:07:26Guest:I tell my jokes.

01:07:27Marc:But this is a real acting role.

01:07:28Guest:This is like a huge leap.

01:07:29Guest:This is, I'm going to 10 from one.

01:07:31Marc:And what were your feelings when it was released and the feedback on it?

01:07:34Marc:I mean, what were your feelings?

01:07:37Marc:I felt grateful to get a part at all.

01:07:39Guest:You know, as a comic, I think when I started, I just wanted to be a comic.

01:07:43Guest:I just wanted to get my jokes to work.

01:07:45Guest:The idea of acting came later because I was like... But when you were doing an Ang Lee movie... That's what I meant.

01:07:50Marc:You must have thought, like, this is going to be great.

01:07:52Marc:And then the movie was a little fragmented.

01:07:54Guest:You know, for me...

01:07:56Guest:They kept saying it's a comedy.

01:07:58Guest:Aang and people on the set, they're like, and for Aang, I think that is a comedy.

01:08:03Guest:But what I understand as a comedy, I like Peter Sellers.

01:08:05Guest:I'm thinking a comedy to me is Pink Panther.

01:08:08Guest:It's like in different Europe.

01:08:09Marc:It's broad.

01:08:10Guest:It's going to be broader and it's designed to deliver jokes.

01:08:13Marc:But everybody put it so straight.

01:08:15Marc:Is Aang Lee Chinese?

01:08:16No.

01:08:16Marc:I think he's Taiwanese.

01:08:17Marc:Taiwanese.

01:08:18Marc:Yeah.

01:08:18Marc:It's just like, you know, and then you got Liev Schreiber in that dress, the whole show.

01:08:23Marc:I'm like, oh my God.

01:08:24Guest:I couldn't change a word in the script.

01:08:26Guest:Not that I had anything.

01:08:27Guest:Look, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, but comedically, there was no room for me to do a bit.

01:08:33Guest:There's no improvisation.

01:08:35Marc:There was no changing a word.

01:08:36Marc:No, I thought that as the character, as somebody who represented the new personal freedoms and his own confusion in the face of his family and in the face of the generation and the culture that was happening, I thought you did a fine job.

01:08:50Marc:I think I wasn't myself, which is good.

01:08:52Guest:I think I was a different guy, yeah.

01:08:53Guest:I don't know about for you, but for me, the further you commit and get into the business,

01:08:58Guest:the more it becomes to me about my day-to-day life and maybe the process of what I get to do and I hope I get money for it and I hope I get a lot for it, more that than, oh, this trophy, I want that or I wanna do a spot on this show or I want,

01:09:13Guest:this special or something, you know what I mean?

01:09:15Guest:Like, I feel happier and healthier if those things are byproducts of just what I like doing with my time.

01:09:21Marc:No, I agree.

01:09:21Marc:Yeah, yeah, and I feel that.

01:09:23Guest:Yeah, I mean, that makes sense.

01:09:24Guest:I just say that because of the Ang Lee thing.

01:09:25Guest:I was excited that I got to do it, but it was different than...

01:09:29Marc:having control of the reins at all it was stand here do it again talk like i guess my conversation was really around you know and i don't want to come off the wrong way was there's any deliberation with you or with your management that said look you know you you you know this is you know this is you as a comic right and now you're going to do this movie this could hurt you playing it yeah yeah

01:09:48Guest:No, it was my agent.

01:09:51Guest:I don't have a manager, so my agent was like, yeah, buddy, you should do this.

01:09:55Guest:He's like, if it doesn't do well, I think he's like, you're lucky right now.

01:09:59Guest:You'll get a free pass in a sense.

01:10:01Guest:You're not carrying this movie.

01:10:02Guest:It's an Ang Lee movie.

01:10:03Guest:Right.

01:10:04Guest:And I thought, okay.

01:10:05Guest:But you had the conversation.

01:10:06Guest:Yeah.

01:10:08Guest:And I don't think it was because this sucks, you shouldn't do it.

01:10:10Guest:It was, hey, you don't know how to act.

01:10:13Marc:And you've got to play a pretty deep character, and he's a gay character.

01:10:15Guest:Yeah, I mean, for me, the fear is more people just saying, that guy can't act.

01:10:20Marc:Oh, right.

01:10:20Guest:And you just don't want stuff taken away from you before you have a chance to do it.

01:10:24Guest:And I think that's true across the board for me.

01:10:26Guest:Did they say that?

01:10:28Guest:If they did, not to me.

01:10:29Guest:So I appreciate them not saying it to me.

01:10:31Guest:No, people were like, yeah, you were fine, which is better than- Than you suck?

01:10:34Marc:Yeah, and it's not as good as you're awesome.

01:10:36Marc:Yeah.

01:10:37Marc:So now the show ran for two seasons.

01:10:40Marc:Yeah.

01:10:40Marc:What was it called?

01:10:41Marc:Important Things.

01:10:42Marc:Important Things.

01:10:43Marc:Now, what happened to that?

01:10:45Guest:What happened there was I did my stand-up special, I did Dimitri Martin Person in 2006.

01:10:50Guest:Yeah.

01:10:51Guest:Winter of 2006, shot my first hour, came out in 2007.

01:10:55Guest:It did better than Comedy Central expected.

01:10:57Guest:They called me in for a meeting and they told me that.

01:10:58Guest:The special did.

01:10:59Guest:They said your special, it had good retention and it did better than we expected.

01:11:04Guest:And we didn't hardly promote it.

01:11:06Guest:We'd like to do a pilot.

01:11:08Guest:We think you could do a show.

01:11:09Guest:If it's anything like your special, we'd be interested.

01:11:12Guest:We think you'd be something there.

01:11:13Guest:Now, I'd done stuff on The Daily Show, so I had the weight of busboy behind me.

01:11:17Marc:Oh, that's right.

01:11:17Marc:You were a Daily Show correspondent, too.

01:11:19Guest:Yes.

01:11:19Guest:You've got a sort of a... Kind of a contributor.

01:11:21Guest:Sweet career.

01:11:22Guest:Yeah.

01:11:23Guest:But see, I pop in and do a little bit here and there.

01:11:25Guest:I only did seven bits on The Daily Show.

01:11:28Marc:They were work.

01:11:29Marc:But they sort of branded you.

01:11:30Marc:It helped me.

01:11:31Marc:That helped me.

01:11:32Marc:You did some of the easel stuff, right?

01:11:35Marc:Big time.

01:11:35Guest:That stuff really helped me.

01:11:36Guest:The drawings.

01:11:37Guest:They were cool.

01:11:37Guest:They let me do my voice.

01:11:39Guest:Look, I don't know shit about politics.

01:11:42Guest:I don't gravitate to it, and I don't have anything to say.

01:11:45Guest:Yeah.

01:11:45Guest:Right now in my life, maybe when I get older, I'll have more money and I'll dig my heels and stuff.

01:11:49Guest:But I, I just, I don't know why it just doesn't burn for me like, like that.

01:11:53Guest:So anyway, they said you should do, you know, pilot.

01:11:56Guest:So I did the pilot and it got picked up and then we did the first season.

01:12:00Guest:I was totally burnt, exhausted, made the show way too hard for myself.

01:12:06Guest:I,

01:12:06Guest:Were you difficult to work with?

01:12:09Guest:Some people think so, but I don't think, yeah, yeah, I think I was.

01:12:13Guest:And how did that happen?

01:12:14Guest:But in ways that I don't think people would expect.

01:12:18Guest:What I tried to tell people after doing that show was,

01:12:22Guest:when you're selling yourself, when you're trying to be yourself and that's the thing you're selling, those stakes go very, very high for you.

01:12:30Guest:But there's nobody for whom they will be equal.

01:12:34Guest:Do you know what I'm saying?

01:12:34Guest:So people you work with, if that show sucks, and I'm the idiot for doing a show as me playing me, the downside is greatest for me.

01:12:44Guest:Because if it sucks and it really doesn't go the way I want,

01:12:47Marc:then I can't walk away from that.

01:12:49Marc:But how confident were you in your vision?

01:12:51Marc:In the sense of how much of your being difficult was your insecurity?

01:12:55Guest:No.

01:12:57Guest:My vision and the execution are two different things is what I like.

01:12:59Marc:Right.

01:13:00Guest:I'm as confident in my vision probably as anybody who has the balls to call it their vision.

01:13:04Guest:Okay.

01:13:05Guest:But I don't know what my vision is other than my bits and my jokes, but...

01:13:09Guest:The execution, what I always said coming out of that show was, look, if I'm not funny, I just want to be not funny in the way that I'm not funny.

01:13:15Marc:Right.

01:13:16Guest:That's the point.

01:13:17Guest:Look, I'm fine not being funny.

01:13:18Guest:I'm not funny all the time.

01:13:20Guest:I bomb all the time.

01:13:21Guest:But I'm responsible for it.

01:13:23Guest:And nobody gets to stick their hand in and make me unfunny in the way that they're unfunny.

01:13:28Guest:Right.

01:13:28Guest:And then I have to suffer the consequences of it.

01:13:30Guest:Hey, that's just the reality of doing the show that I did.

01:13:32Guest:That's what I learned later.

01:13:33Guest:Nobody gives a shit about my show.

01:13:35Guest:My show is tiny.

01:13:36Guest:You don't even remember the title of it.

01:13:37Guest:So who does this matter to when talking about self-involved?

01:13:39Guest:Yeah, me.

01:13:40Guest:I'm the one going here gesticulating.

01:13:41Guest:You can't see at home, but I'm moving my hands around everything.

01:13:44Marc:But how did you being difficult to work with manifest itself?

01:13:47Marc:Were you angry?

01:13:48Guest:Yeah, I got angry a couple times.

01:13:51Guest:I would say probably less than most people, but I could be wrong.

01:13:54Marc:Well, yeah, there are certain people, but they'll indulge people if they're kicking ass.

01:13:58Guest:Yeah, we went down in production between the first part and then when I had to do the Ang Lee movie and then came back.

01:14:08Guest:Pretty much everybody came back.

01:14:10Guest:But in the interim, I wanted to check.

01:14:14Guest:If they came back, number one, either they're desperate for work, or they like working with me, or both, or neither, I don't know.

01:14:21Guest:So I asked people, and they're not gonna tell you to your face,

01:14:24Guest:Oh, I hated working with you, but it seemed like people liked working with me.

01:14:28Guest:Now, there were a few times where this is my first experience, not only working with other people aside from Conan, and I guess The Daily Show, but like really having a staff, but having to be in charge of it.

01:14:36Guest:I was executive producer.

01:14:39Guest:So I think the way I was difficult was I was...

01:14:44Guest:Again, it wasn't, I was so specific about it has to be this way.

01:14:47Guest:I would just know how I didn't want it.

01:14:49Guest:Or like when we were doing the promos, I'd say, you know, can I be involved in the promos?

01:14:55Guest:And they'd say, promos is its own department.

01:14:57Guest:Like you don't get involved.

01:14:58Guest:And then I'd say, but I'm the person, the only person on screen for the promo is me.

01:15:03Guest:So can I be involved?

01:15:05Guest:And they'd be like, we don't usually do that.

01:15:06Guest:So I think a lot of times what happens is they get talent who just don't care.

01:15:11Guest:To their credit, to the talent's credit, they just don't care.

01:15:14Marc:Right.

01:15:14Guest:And Chappelle's a juggernaut.

01:15:15Guest:Chappelle's a brilliant comedian.

01:15:17Guest:I don't know him.

01:15:18Guest:Yeah.

01:15:18Guest:I've met him a couple times, but I'm guessing he didn't go about it the same way I did.

01:15:22Guest:I know those guys had it.

01:15:23Guest:I've talked to Neil, and they've had their terrible battles with Comedy Central.

01:15:26Guest:But I don't know how much Chappelle was like, promo's got to be like this.

01:15:29Guest:Right.

01:15:29Guest:But for me, for whatever reason, in my head, I was like...

01:15:32Guest:I'm allergic to cats, so I think I'm... Are you?

01:15:34Marc:Oh, it's just starting?

01:15:35Guest:All right.

01:15:36Guest:So in my head, I'm thinking people are going to see the promo more than they see my show.

01:15:41Guest:If the promo's annoying, and I know they're going to air it 20 times because I've watched the channel.

01:15:45Guest:Yeah.

01:15:45Guest:So I'm trying to think of a bit that can air 20 times and be the least annoying bit possible.

01:15:50Guest:Do you know what?

01:15:50Guest:I'm serious.

01:15:51Guest:It's a defensive... That is insecurity.

01:15:53Guest:That's fear.

01:15:54Guest:Because I don't want...

01:15:55Guest:I don't want that to like have me lose audience and stuff.

01:16:00Guest:So yeah, I'm difficult there.

01:16:01Guest:I don't mean to be, but I'm more persistent.

01:16:03Guest:Right.

01:16:04Marc:You're concerned.

01:16:05Marc:Yeah.

01:16:05Marc:I get it.

01:16:06Marc:I get it.

01:16:06Guest:I can probably think of 20 examples.

01:16:08Marc:Yeah.

01:16:09Marc:But.

01:16:10Marc:Any really horrible ones?

01:16:13Marc:Where, you know, any glass throwing or throwing over the table or making anybody cry?

01:16:18Guest:No.

01:16:20Marc:Not that I know of.

01:16:21Marc:Any of you slamming the door and being by yourself after you just blew up and you're like, what the

01:16:25Marc:what the fuck did I just do?

01:16:27Guest:No, you know, one time I was, we were doing this sketch called The Bad Actor, and it's in the first episode of the first season, and I'm freaking out.

01:16:36Guest:In the scene, I can't get angry when I'm supposed to, and then when we cut, I get angry.

01:16:41Guest:Right, that's the joke.

01:16:42Guest:That's the joke.

01:16:44Guest:Well, this was at least a 12-hour day, shooting probably for 10 hours.

01:16:48Guest:Look, I'm geared, I'm set kind of quieter.

01:16:53Guest:I can scream, I'm just like anybody.

01:16:54Guest:Yeah.

01:16:55Guest:To do it all day.

01:16:56Guest:Yeah.

01:16:57Guest:That was hard.

01:16:58Guest:I lost my voice.

01:16:59Guest:Benjamin's in that.

01:16:59Guest:John Benjamin was awesome in my series.

01:17:01Guest:Yeah, he was hilarious, yeah.

01:17:01Guest:He was in there.

01:17:03Guest:He's in that sketch.

01:17:04Guest:And we had to just yell.

01:17:05Guest:We both were losing our voices.

01:17:06Guest:I don't know.

01:17:07Guest:I don't know how to... I guess there's a way you can yell, right?

01:17:10Guest:Is that part of the acting training?

01:17:11Guest:You learn how to yell so you can fucking... Sure, but I mean, all day long is usually one performance.

01:17:15Marc:Yeah, I get it.

01:17:15Guest:But this one guy kept giving me notes.

01:17:17Guest:Yeah.

01:17:18Guest:and I remember just saying something back to him like, I don't want to have, I said something, he's like, I don't want to have this conversation right now, but it's like this guy's sitting off on the side in a director's chair, just throwing craft service down his mouth, just watching me.

01:17:33Guest:I'm trying to learn how to act while I'm doing the thing.

01:17:36Guest:And I said something to him, you know, that guy went and told Comedy Central that I was disrespectful to my crew or something like this.

01:17:44Guest:When it was, I was to him.

01:17:46Guest:He says that to me, I say it back.

01:17:48Guest:Also, I'm like yelling all day.

01:17:50Guest:I'm angry because I don't know how to not be, you know what I mean?

01:17:54Guest:Like I'm in the scene, I'm just trying to do it.

01:17:55Guest:But this is like, these are good lessons because this is the standard that you are held to.

01:18:00Guest:And you know what?

01:18:00Guest:People would say, fuck you, you got your own show.

01:18:03Guest:That's what goes with it.

01:18:04Guest:I think they're right.

01:18:06Marc:Right.

01:18:06Marc:Yeah, maybe you learned a little bit of diplomacy and that there's a way to manage relationships.

01:18:12Marc:Yeah, look.

01:18:14Marc:I think if you insulate yourself too much and you don't collaborate enough, even if, I think there's a trick to collaboration where you can still get what you want.

01:18:22Guest:I think you're right.

01:18:22Guest:And I think that,

01:18:23Guest:if you don't know, if you don't know any better, it doesn't matter.

01:18:28Guest:Yeah.

01:18:29Guest:Like if you get a deal to do a show, it's due at this day.

01:18:33Guest:And this is how much money you have.

01:18:34Guest:Right.

01:18:34Guest:Whether you've done 10 shows before, whether you're 45 or whether you're 22.

01:18:37Guest:Right.

01:18:38Guest:Nobody cares.

01:18:39Guest:It's business.

01:18:39Guest:Right.

01:18:40Guest:So that was my first one.

01:18:42Guest:And I was dealing with stuff just like anybody else.

01:18:45Guest:Yeah.

01:18:46Guest:Man, did I make mistakes?

01:18:47Guest:Totally.

01:18:48Guest:The show went away.

01:18:49Guest:After the first season, I didn't want to do it again.

01:18:53Guest:But I had to.

01:18:55Marc:Or I was kept off.

01:18:56Marc:That's not the best attitude either.

01:18:58Guest:Right, that's not the best way to go into your second season.

01:19:00Guest:But that's why I moved to California for the show.

01:19:02Guest:I did the second season.

01:19:03Marc:Are you living here permanent now?

01:19:05Marc:Yeah.

01:19:05Marc:And let's talk about the book before we don't get to that.

01:19:09Marc:Because I looked at the book recently.

01:19:11Marc:I didn't get an advance copy because, again, I had no idea that you were ever going to come to the show after six months of emailing.

01:19:20Marc:Like Mark's emailing me every day for six months.

01:19:23Marc:No, I emailed you once and you said, maybe I can do it in 2013.

01:19:27Marc:Yeah.

01:19:29Guest:I got a lot going on, Mark.

01:19:30Guest:Look at me.

01:19:31Guest:And then I checked back in a few months later.

01:19:34Guest:One of Mark's emails was, okay,

01:19:37Guest:I'm going to call bullshit.

01:19:38Guest:I like that you didn't call bullshit on me.

01:19:40Guest:You prepared me for the calling of bullshit.

01:19:42Guest:You're like, look, man, I'm going to have to call bullshit.

01:19:46Guest:I'm like, no, no.

01:19:48Guest:I'm a fan of your podcast.

01:19:49Guest:I want to do your show.

01:19:49Guest:And thank you for having me on the show, obviously.

01:19:51Marc:No, it's a pleasure.

01:19:52Marc:I'm glad you made it.

01:19:54Marc:Now, the book, again, I didn't want to like it because I generally don't want to like you, but I do.

01:19:59Marc:But I picked it up, and I got a good laugh out of one of the cartoons.

01:20:03Marc:Oh, cool.

01:20:04Marc:It's a nice mix.

01:20:04Marc:The beard cartoon is very funny.

01:20:06Marc:Oh, thanks, man.

01:20:07Marc:I'm not going to spoil it for anybody, even though I can just go to a bookstore and look at it.

01:20:10Marc:But it's a mixture of there's some dialogue stuff, there's some cartoons, and there's some essays and stories, and it honors your voice.

01:20:18Marc:Thanks.

01:20:18Marc:It's not really autobiographical.

01:20:20Marc:It's not a memoir.

01:20:20Marc:It's a comedy book.

01:20:21Marc:It's just bits.

01:20:22Marc:Yeah.

01:20:22Marc:They're just little jokes and stories.

01:20:24Marc:And you did the drawing on the cover.

01:20:25Marc:Yeah.

01:20:26Marc:It looks good.

01:20:26Guest:Is it selling all right?

01:20:27Guest:You don't know.

01:20:28Guest:It's selling all right.

01:20:29Guest:I think it's selling all right enough that if I want to do more books.

01:20:32Guest:And that's called This Is My Book?

01:20:34Guest:It's called This Is A Book.

01:20:35Guest:This Is A Book.

01:20:36Guest:I like This Is My Book.

01:20:38Guest:That's just a little bit more of a jab.

01:20:40Guest:Like, hey, everybody.

01:20:41Guest:This Is A Book.

01:20:41Guest:This Is My Adorable Book.

01:20:42Marc:Now, do you have people that you cite as influences in the world of art and poetry?

01:20:47Marc:Yeah.

01:20:47Marc:Because you seem a little stripped down, a little minimal, a little surreal.

01:20:50Marc:Yeah.

01:20:50Marc:Who are your guys?

01:20:51Guest:I really like Paul Rand and graphic design.

01:20:54Guest:I discovered him a couple years ago.

01:20:56Guest:Saul Steinberg is a recent discovery for me.

01:20:58Guest:I know some of his stuff from the New Yorker, but I found some books and used bookstores.

01:21:01Guest:It's really cool.

01:21:02Guest:Just the confidence of the hand.

01:21:05Guest:Just the line drawings are so great.

01:21:07Guest:I love Picasso, and I guess he's the most famous artist, but I just can't get over how prolific he is.

01:21:13Guest:one man was.

01:21:15Marc:It's just unbelievable to me.

01:21:16Marc:And difficult to work with.

01:21:17Marc:There's one.

01:21:19Guest:I guess, if that's, I'd love to have, I wouldn't love to have that, but if my reputation is difficult to work with, then maybe people would be pleasantly surprised.

01:21:26Marc:And if you keep generating unique stuff that's got a style to it, you can keep going.

01:21:32Guest:Yeah, again, for me, I'd say...

01:21:36Guest:It's about specificity.

01:21:39Guest:And I guess some people don't care.

01:21:41Marc:But of course.

01:21:42Marc:But I mean, if it is about specificity and you understand who you are, then you get the people that appreciate it.

01:21:47Marc:Yeah.

01:21:48Marc:Fuck them.

01:21:48Marc:Right.

01:21:49Marc:I mean, both for colleagues and for audience.

01:21:51Guest:You got to live with that when you do what you do.

01:21:53Guest:And you know what?

01:21:54Guest:You can't be self-contained.

01:21:55Guest:The closest you can be to self-contained is probably a standup, a pure standup.

01:21:59Guest:just you on stage with your audience, but you still need the audience.

01:22:03Guest:So even there, you're not going to be so self-contained.

01:22:06Marc:It's porous.

01:22:07Marc:You know you've got a thing that you do, and that's it.

01:22:10Marc:But it seems that you've still got people digging it, so that's good.

01:22:13Marc:People are with it, but you can't please everybody.

01:22:15Marc:Just get your audience.

01:22:16Marc:Well, of course.

01:22:16Guest:Well, I mean, you shouldn't say that like you're trying to.

01:22:20Guest:That's your reading of it.

01:22:21Guest:I didn't say it like I was trying to.

01:22:22Guest:But you are a little bit, right?

01:22:24Guest:I always say 300 million people in the country.

01:22:25Guest:Yeah.

01:22:26Guest:I'm only going for 100 million.

01:22:28Yeah.

01:22:28Marc:And do you have a, is there any TV coming up or movies?

01:22:34Marc:I don't think so.

01:22:34Marc:You know why?

01:22:35Guest:I hear you're difficult to work with.

01:22:36Guest:I'm the hardest to work with.

01:22:40Guest:I'm working on a bunch of projects.

01:22:44Guest:Isn't it funny?

01:22:44Guest:I feel like when people say, oh, I have coming, I'm working, it's just my brain goes off.

01:22:48Guest:Like, who cares?

01:22:48Guest:Nobody cares what I'm working on.

01:22:49Marc:All right, well, let's leave it at that.

01:22:50Marc:Yeah.

01:22:51Guest:All right, thanks for coming, Dimitri.

01:22:52Guest:Thanks for having me, Mark.

01:22:58Marc:Okay, that's it.

01:22:59Marc:That was Dimitri Martin.

01:23:00Marc:Not as bad a guy as I might have thought.

01:23:02Marc:I didn't think that, but you know me.

01:23:04Marc:You know, has a history, has a past in the restaurant business and whatnot.

01:23:09Marc:It was a pleasure talking to him.

01:23:11Marc:Maybe I'm becoming a nicer guy.

01:23:13Marc:Thank you for listening.

01:23:29Marc:Anything, any sympathy there?

01:23:31Marc:I lost my insurance and fucking Cobra cost a fortune.

01:23:34Marc:But you know what I mean?

01:23:35Marc:I'm getting to that age.

01:23:36Marc:Need the coverage.

01:23:37Marc:The music you heard on today's show is a song called WTF LOL by the Mannequin Men.

01:23:42Marc:And you can get their album, Lose Your Illusion 2, T-O-O, on iTunes.

01:23:48Marc:You can check them out on Twitter.

01:23:50Marc:They are at Mannequin Men.

01:23:52Marc:So there's that.

01:23:54Marc:I'll be in Canada at the Just for Laughs festival.

01:23:57Marc:Oh, fuck.

01:23:58Marc:All right.

01:23:59Marc:Look, I'll talk to you later.