Episode 194 - Rob Riggle

Episode 194 • Released July 20, 2011 • Speakers detected

00:00:00Guest:Are we doing this?

00:00:08Guest:Really?

00:00:08Guest:Wait for it.

00:00:09Guest:Are we doing this?

00:00:10Guest:Wait for it.

00:00:12Guest:Pow!

00:00:12Guest:What the fuck?

00:00:14Guest:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?

00:00:16Guest:What's wrong with me?

00:00:17Guest:It's time for WTF?

00:00:19Guest:What the fuck?

00:00:20Guest:With Mark Maron.

00:00:24Marc:Okay, let's do this.

00:00:25Marc:How are you, what the fuckers?

00:00:26Marc:What the fuck buddies?

00:00:27Marc:What the fuck terrians?

00:00:29Marc:What the fuckstables?

00:00:30Marc:What the fuckabees?

00:00:31Marc:What the fucknicks?

00:00:33Marc:And what the fuckaristas?

00:00:35Marc:I, you know, come on now.

00:00:38Marc:It's Mark Maron.

00:00:38Marc:This is WTF.

00:00:39Marc:Thank you for tuning in.

00:00:41Marc:Thank you for all the emails.

00:00:43Marc:both positive and negative.

00:00:44Marc:You know, I like going through them.

00:00:46Marc:It's like a speedball.

00:00:47Marc:Like, like, like, hate, love, hate, love, love.

00:00:51Marc:Yeah, it's okay.

00:00:53Marc:I'm happy to hear from all of you.

00:00:55Marc:I'm glad the show is having an impact or an effect or whatever you want to say.

00:00:59Marc:I hope everybody's well out there.

00:01:00Marc:Today on the show, Rob Riggle, of course, from The Daily Show, and now he's going to be on the new show on Adult Swim, N-T-S-F-S-D-S-U-V.

00:01:14Marc:You've seen him around quite a bit.

00:01:15Marc:He's an interesting guy.

00:01:16Marc:I've met him a couple of times.

00:01:18Marc:Stand-up dude, a funny dude with an interesting story.

00:01:21Marc:Actually served in the military.

00:01:23Marc:I don't know in my mind, other than Jonathan Winters, that we've had somebody on the show that has served in the military.

00:01:29Marc:And Rob's story is very interesting because he was going to be a lifer.

00:01:34Marc:So you'll hear him talk about that.

00:01:36Marc:And it got me thinking about the military and about my past and about my feelings about that, about service.

00:01:42Marc:about people who serve.

00:01:44Marc:I guess my earliest recollection, I may have talked about this before years ago, I'm not even sure I did on this show, but my earliest recollection of war and of military service was probably in the mid to late 60s when I was four or five years old watching TV.

00:02:01Marc:There was a lot of war footage from Vietnam.

00:02:04Marc:I remember the news reports.

00:02:05Marc:I remember seeing graphic images, body counts.

00:02:08Marc:I remember body counts.

00:02:09Marc:I remember military funerals.

00:02:10Marc:I remember actual footage from reporters in the jungles of Vietnam.

00:02:16Marc:I remember the protests.

00:02:17Marc:I remember the hippie movement.

00:02:19Marc:I remember the outrage.

00:02:20Marc:I remember all the images.

00:02:22Marc:Of course, I didn't have a context for them when I was that age, but I remembered them and the effect they had on my head sort of defined my head in some odd way.

00:02:31Marc:It was very powerful.

00:02:32Marc:And I remember my father was in the military.

00:02:34Marc:He was in the Air Force for a couple of years.

00:02:35Marc:We were stationed up in Alaska and we would go back east to visit my grandmother and both sets of grandparents.

00:02:43Marc:And we would take these military cargo planes because it was part of the deal.

00:02:47Marc:You can hop a cargo plane.

00:02:49Marc:And I can't remember which way it was going.

00:02:51Marc:Or whether it was going both ways, but it was probably going east.

00:02:54Marc:But I remember we would sit along the sides of the planes in these strap-in seats.

00:02:59Marc:We'd have a box lunch.

00:03:00Marc:I remember it was the first time that I ever tasted V8.

00:03:03Marc:I remember it was dark and it was scary.

00:03:06Marc:And I remember going in the cockpit and being shown the radar and everything.

00:03:09Marc:And then I remember the cargo.

00:03:10Marc:The boxes were long rectangular boxes.

00:03:14Marc:And I was told on one of those flights that those were were were were caskets.

00:03:18Marc:They were the pre casket casket.

00:03:20Marc:These were bodies of American soldiers going from Vietnam to wherever they were going to be buried.

00:03:28Marc:And I remember it being horrifying and scary and sad at that time.

00:03:33Marc:And I remember it having an impact, but still not completely connected.

00:03:37Marc:But it made it it made it eerie.

00:03:39Marc:But I never quite understood it in my soul, I don't think.

00:03:43Marc:And then as I got older, when I was in high school, during the Reagan years, there was a time there where we had to register for the draft.

00:03:50Marc:We were we were asked to to register for selective service.

00:03:53Marc:And and I freaked out because I had become somewhat of a reactionary or I modeled myself and.

00:03:58Marc:And I'm like, I'm not going to fight a war that that I don't necessarily believe in.

00:04:04Marc:I'm not going to fight.

00:04:05Marc:Yeah, I'm going to resist.

00:04:07Marc:That's what I learned to do.

00:04:08Marc:I gravitated towards that reactionary disposition.

00:04:13Marc:And I remember registering for selective service and writing all over the registration conscientious objector.

00:04:20Marc:But I think in retrospect, if I'm going to be honest, I was probably just scared out of my fucking wits at the idea of being drafted.

00:04:28Marc:And I believe that that's a reasonable fear.

00:04:31Marc:I don't think I was alone in that.

00:04:34Marc:And I've never had the opportunity to perform for the troops.

00:04:36Marc:And quite honestly, I just...

00:04:38Marc:It's not that I don't think I could do it.

00:04:40Marc:I've never made myself available before because I'm a self-involved guy.

00:04:44Marc:You know, my life is not it's not a general life.

00:04:47Marc:You know, I'm fairly introspective.

00:04:49Marc:I'm heady.

00:04:50Marc:I just don't know that I would be the right entertainer for the troops.

00:04:54Marc:I'm no Bob Hope.

00:04:56Marc:And certainly I've had some weird moment the other day around my feelings about service, about military service.

00:05:05Marc:I've always respected it.

00:05:08Marc:It took me a while to realize that no matter where you stand on the conflict at hand or where you stand about the war or where you stand about whether it's right or wrong or anything else, that...

00:05:20Marc:There's a military.

00:05:21Marc:There needs to be a military.

00:05:23Marc:It's an all-volunteer military.

00:05:24Marc:And these are special people.

00:05:27Marc:There's no fucking way around that.

00:05:29Marc:But I don't know that I felt it as deeply as I did.

00:05:32Marc:I think it was last week.

00:05:34Marc:I was watching President Obama...

00:05:37Marc:reward this guy, Sergeant First Class Leroy Petri, the Medal of Honor.

00:05:43Marc:And this guy had a prosthetic right hand.

00:05:47Marc:His legs had been shot to fuck.

00:05:48Marc:He'd done many, many tours in Afghanistan.

00:05:52Marc:And there's a story around why he got the medal, aside from all his service.

00:05:57Marc:But

00:05:58Marc:He was in a firefight in Afghanistan, and he was with two other guys.

00:06:02Marc:A grenade was thrown literally five feet in front of him.

00:06:05Marc:One of the guys was injured.

00:06:06Marc:He was injured.

00:06:06Marc:He ran out.

00:06:08Marc:I mean, he had a tourniquet on his arm that he had put on his arm himself.

00:06:12Marc:He scrambled out with injured legs and an injured arm, picked up this grenade, heaved it out of the way.

00:06:18Marc:It blew up elsewhere.

00:06:20Marc:And saved himself and these other guys.

00:06:23Marc:And he's accepting this award.

00:06:24Marc:And he's got a prosthetic hand.

00:06:27Marc:And there was a handshake with the president.

00:06:29Marc:And I had this moment where I'm watching him and I'm trying to understand, you know, who does that?

00:06:35Marc:Who does that?

00:06:37Marc:This is not an average person.

00:06:39Marc:This is something beyond anything I can understand, not just a service element, but the self-sacrifice of it.

00:06:44Marc:There's part of me that thinks immediately like, well, you know, he's just one of those guys.

00:06:48Marc:You know, he's like, you know, fuck them.

00:06:50Marc:I'm going to win this.

00:06:51Marc:I'm going to be a hero.

00:06:53Marc:But then I realized that wasn't it.

00:06:55Marc:Some people are just wired people.

00:06:58Marc:for service, but they're also wired to be warriors.

00:07:01Marc:But this was real self-sacrifice.

00:07:03Marc:And this is an all-volunteer army.

00:07:05Marc:And I was moved at that moment in a genuine way when he, because Obama went out of his way to make a point that this is the spirit of America, the essence of America, the spirit that says, no matter how hard the journey, no matter how hard, he quote, this is a quote, that no matter how hard the journey, no matter how steep the climb, we don't quit.

00:07:29Marc:He said that.

00:07:30Marc:But this was a situation.

00:07:32Marc:You know, he's talking about self-sacrifice.

00:07:35Marc:And certainly this this this Sergeant Petri was beyond anything I could understand and certainly was one of only two living people that that that received this honor.

00:07:47Marc:But there was something in the moment where where Sergeant Petri saluted.

00:07:52Marc:Obama.

00:07:53Marc:And there was something in the way he saluted and there was something in his eyes that transcended politics and everything else.

00:08:01Marc:Any sort of argument that was going on within the Capitol, any sort of argument that was going on about the war, it transcended all of that.

00:08:08Marc:And it was about duty and service.

00:08:11Marc:And he was saluting his commander in chief.

00:08:15Marc:It didn't matter who it would have been at that moment.

00:08:18Marc:And it was just bigger than anything I could quite fathom at that moment.

00:08:21Marc:And I started thinking about the idea of an all-volunteer army and the positions.

00:08:26Marc:I've talked to soldiers.

00:08:27Marc:I have soldiers that listen to this show.

00:08:29Marc:And I know that a lot of them are like, we know what we're getting into.

00:08:32Marc:You know, this is either a job.

00:08:34Marc:We understand the parameters of the job.

00:08:36Marc:We may not be, our feelings about the war are irrelevant, but we're signing up for this.

00:08:43Marc:Whatever your intentions are, you know what you're getting into.

00:08:45Marc:But this is all volunteers, and there has to be some gratitude.

00:08:49Marc:uh from us to to these soldiers in the sense that who the fuck would do that it's it's an amazing thing to to have that that ability to have that kind of self-sacrifice and that type of loyalty and that type of of tremendous balls to volunteer to do that here i was a fucking teenager frightened at the possibility of being drafted would never think about going into the war but god damn it we need people out there doing that and it was just it was moving to me in that moment

00:09:16Marc:because obama's talking about self-sacrifice we don't live in a culture of self-sacrifice even that thing he said yeah about you know we we will rise to the occasion because a lot of us don't have a choice the the idea that this is the spirit of america no matter how hard the journey no matter how steep the climb we don't quit that's a collective we but a lot of people don't have a fucking choice

00:09:42Marc:It's just the shit they're in.

00:09:43Marc:These guys volunteer to get into the shit to defend the country or to fight in whatever conflict they are needed in.

00:09:55Marc:You know, I'm not a self-sacrificing guy.

00:09:58Marc:I will sacrifice for self, but actual self-sacrifice for the better of the bigger.

00:10:04Marc:is rare and i don't know how many truly self-sacrificing people i meet i mean the best thing i've ever done is this podcast and occasionally it moves people but jesus i was just i was just blown away at the fortitude of this of this guy this sergeant first class leroy petri jesus christ he's one tough dude

00:10:32Marc:In the garage here at the Cat Ranch, Mr. Rob Riggle.

00:10:35Marc:Hello.

00:10:36Marc:The man, the myth.

00:10:38Marc:Yes.

00:10:39Marc:You know, I don't know how much you talk about it.

00:10:44Marc:I've watched your work on The Daily Show, on SNL, and other places as much as I can.

00:10:48Marc:I don't consume as much media as I should, so I come at these things sort of blind.

00:10:53Marc:But I know you worked with my friend Janine Garofalo.

00:10:57Marc:Absolutely.

00:10:58Marc:A few times.

00:10:59Guest:And I've been very lucky to do some stand-up gigs with her around the country.

00:11:02Guest:Yeah, I love that.

00:11:03Marc:And I had talked to her about some event in Somerville, Massachusetts.

00:11:08Marc:where you guys were playing in davis square i think maybe the somerville theater and she got accosted by fox news reporters it was it was i thought it was just some angry uh tea partiers i didn't know right or no i don't know well maybe that was the story right and they they had come to protest yes and she walked out to all that shit and she said i talked to her about it a couple of times she said she felt safer that you were there

00:11:29Guest:well i think she maybe wanted me to do more be honest i think she probably wanted me to like you know come at him sideways right go fuck yourselves and i just didn't you know because she's she's she's a tough girl she can handle herself exactly she doesn't need to be but i i did want to be around her in case these guys were crazy well yeah there's that and she also brings that out in me too like you know you feel protective of her almost immediately yes but now what would have happened if it got ugly

00:11:54Guest:I would have, I would have beat some ass, I guess, you know, I mean, I, well, you know, I mean, obviously I'm a very peaceful guy, but you know, if you attack a little, she's what, five, two, she's tiny, you know, and if they would have done anything physical to her, I mean, I don't think I would have hesitated.

00:12:13Marc:Because unlike anyone I've ever talked to in here, and I've talked to about 150, 160 comedians, I don't know any of them that are active Marine Reserve.

00:12:24Marc:Yeah, that's a pretty small little fraternity myself.

00:12:26Marc:But I mean, what does that mean?

00:12:28Marc:I mean, now, like, you could get called in tomorrow?

00:12:31Guest:I could, technically.

00:12:33Guest:I don't think it'll happen.

00:12:35Marc:Right.

00:12:35Marc:Why?

00:12:35Marc:Because I've already been called back.

00:12:37Guest:I've already been called back once.

00:12:38Marc:But you could just say, I'm Rob Riggle.

00:12:40Marc:I mean, you want to see my movies?

00:12:41Guest:No, but that means nothing to them.

00:12:42Marc:Right.

00:12:43Marc:Honestly.

00:12:43Marc:Elvis Presley was in The Force.

00:12:44Marc:Absolutely.

00:12:45Guest:The government, the Marines especially, they could care less.

00:12:48Guest:They're like, you're a funny guy, huh?

00:12:50Guest:That's wonderful.

00:12:51Guest:We need you over here right now.

00:12:52Marc:When did you join?

00:12:55Guest:I joined when I was 19 years old.

00:12:57Marc:How old are you now?

00:12:58Guest:Honestly?

00:12:59Guest:Honestly?

00:12:59Guest:Yeah.

00:13:00Guest:I'm 40.

00:13:00Guest:Okay.

00:13:01Guest:And I joined when I was 19, and I...

00:13:05Guest:Uh, I was in college.

00:13:07Guest:I was, uh, at the university of Kansas.

00:13:08Guest:I was a theater and film major.

00:13:10Marc:Um, but I had my pilot's license from what, from when you were young, you, you didn't train in the military.

00:13:15Marc:You just had your pilot's license.

00:13:16Marc:Cause you, uh, when did you get that?

00:13:18Guest:I got my pilot's license when I was in, in college.

00:13:21Guest:And, uh,

00:13:22Marc:What do you mean, just went out and started taking flying lessons?

00:13:25Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:13:26Guest:I was very fortunate.

00:13:27Guest:My grandfather was a farmer in Missouri, and he... I think he wanted to be a pilot in World War II.

00:13:38Guest:Okay.

00:13:38Guest:He was in the Army Air Corps in World War II.

00:13:40Guest:Okay.

00:13:41Guest:And he, for whatever reason, he was either too short or, I don't know, something happened that he couldn't fly.

00:13:48Guest:Right.

00:13:48Guest:And so when I became of age, he...

00:13:51Guest:came to me and he said one day, he goes, do you want to learn how to fly?

00:13:54Guest:I was like, yeah, sure, why not?

00:13:57Guest:What are you saying?

00:13:57Guest:He's like, I'll pay for you to get flight lessons if you want to fly.

00:14:01Guest:And I said, you know, I was a young man.

00:14:03Guest:I was like, yeah, I want to fly.

00:14:04Guest:Deal, done.

00:14:05Guest:Yeah.

00:14:06Guest:And so that's it.

00:14:06Guest:So I was up in Lawrence, Kansas, and they have a little airport out there with a...

00:14:11Guest:Little Cessna, and I took lessons and I got my pilot's lessons.

00:14:14Guest:And I started flying around.

00:14:15Guest:And it was a great date, by the way.

00:14:17Guest:Yeah, I bet.

00:14:18Guest:Yeah, I'd take a girl's.

00:14:19Guest:Really?

00:14:19Guest:Yeah, I'd go, you know, you want to go out to dinner or whatever?

00:14:22Guest:And then after dinner, I'd go, it'll be fun.

00:14:24Guest:You want to go flying?

00:14:25Guest:And they'd go, what?

00:14:27Guest:And they'd go, yeah, take a flight around campus at night.

00:14:29Guest:It'd be fun.

00:14:29Guest:It'd be nice.

00:14:30Guest:And you'd just drive out to the field?

00:14:31Guest:Drive out to the field, go out, prep the plane.

00:14:33Guest:You know, and then I'd make it look way more hard than it was.

00:14:36Marc:Did you do that thing where it's like, I'm just starting out here.

00:14:38Marc:I don't know.

00:14:39Marc:I didn't know.

00:14:41Guest:No, I wanted to look as professional and as expert as I could.

00:14:43Marc:You went that way.

00:14:44Marc:Yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:14:45Marc:You don't want to fuck up the possibilities.

00:14:46Guest:Because if you went out there and you did the, I don't know what I'm doing, they would literally go, well, I don't want to do this anymore.

00:14:51Marc:Right.

00:14:52Marc:I thought maybe when you were already up.

00:14:54Marc:Oh, yeah, when you were already up.

00:14:54Guest:Can you just give me the handbook?

00:14:56Guest:Yeah.

00:14:56Guest:Well, there was one thing because it was an uncontrolled field.

00:14:58Guest:What does that mean?

00:14:59Guest:That means there's no air traffic control.

00:15:02Guest:So when you're flying around that field, it's just you talk to each other.

00:15:05Guest:The pilots talk to each other.

00:15:07Guest:Like, what do you say?

00:15:08Marc:Like, are you going in or should I?

00:15:09Guest:Yeah, like, whatever your call sign.

00:15:11Guest:So if you're like, November 7, Foxtrot, I'm, you know, left downwind for runway 33.

00:15:15Guest:Right.

00:15:15Guest:So if you're a pilot and you're flying around the plane, you know where runway 33 is and they're left downwind so you know where to look for them.

00:15:21Guest:Okay.

00:15:22Guest:So it's just, but you eyeball it?

00:15:24Guest:Yeah.

00:15:24Guest:You really do.

00:15:26Guest:And at night, because there's nobody there to turn on and off the lights, you, as a pilot, turn on the lights with your microphone.

00:15:33Guest:At the airport?

00:15:33Guest:At the airport.

00:15:34Guest:So you click your microphone five times, and it's like this oasis in the desert.

00:15:40Guest:The runway lights up, the taxiway lights up, all the parts.

00:15:44Marc:closer that's what i'd be like flying i don't know where the airfield is baby and i go i go here here and i hand her the microphone i go once you click this five times yeah and look right over there and then they do it and then the whole field would light up oh i would think that would transcend any sexual possibilities how are you gonna follow that yeah how's a kiss gonna be the same yeah and i always fell short yeah oh yeah

00:16:06Guest:I could.

00:16:07Guest:You would be surprised.

00:16:08Guest:Something like that you would think would be a pretty decent chance.

00:16:12Guest:Young men don't have game for the most part.

00:16:14Marc:Sure.

00:16:15Guest:I didn't.

00:16:15Guest:You had a plane.

00:16:16Guest:That's the best.

00:16:17Guest:I mean, I was like, this is all I got.

00:16:19Guest:Yeah.

00:16:20Guest:And I still many, many times did not.

00:16:22Guest:Couldn't close a deal.

00:16:23Guest:Couldn't close it.

00:16:24Guest:Oh, my God.

00:16:25Guest:And I was weak-willed.

00:16:26Guest:I was like, do you want a kiss?

00:16:27Guest:Nope.

00:16:28Guest:Okay, good.

00:16:28Guest:That's good for me.

00:16:29Guest:I'm out.

00:16:29Guest:Weak-willed.

00:16:30Guest:You're a Marine.

00:16:32Guest:Well, again, I was a young man.

00:16:34Guest:That's why I joined the Marines, so I could get my shit together.

00:16:36Marc:Oh, really?

00:16:38Marc:Not for God and country, but for pussy.

00:16:42Marc:Okay, so you grew up where?

00:16:43Marc:In Kansas?

00:16:44Marc:Yes, Overland Park, Kansas.

00:16:45Marc:And what does that look like?

00:16:47Guest:It's a suburb of Kansas City.

00:16:48Guest:It's just a very nice suburb of Kansas City.

00:16:52Guest:Kansas City kind of falls right on the state line of Kansas and Missouri, split down the middle.

00:16:57Guest:Kansas City, Missouri has like the downtown, all the sports complexes, the Chiefs, the Royals.

00:17:03Guest:Kansas City, Kansas, not so much.

00:17:04Guest:But there's a real nice suburb called Overland Park, Kansas.

00:17:08Guest:And so I grew up on the Kansas side.

00:17:09Marc:Now, was your dad a Marine?

00:17:12Marc:Nope.

00:17:13Marc:Nobody was a Marine.

00:17:14Guest:Nobody was a Marine.

00:17:15Guest:The only person, my grandfather was in World War II.

00:17:19Marc:So you were studying in college when you decided to join.

00:17:21Marc:I can't put time and date in my head.

00:17:24Marc:What compelled the decision?

00:17:27Guest:I was a theater and film major, so that means I was going to be a waiter upon graduation.

00:17:35Guest:Right.

00:17:35Guest:Because you just don't graduate as a theater and film major and then go become an actor.

00:17:39Guest:Okay.

00:17:40Guest:You can study acting.

00:17:41Guest:Right.

00:17:41Guest:You can try to get gigs or try to get a job, but you're not going to get paid anything.

00:17:46Marc:But you were just like an actor guy?

00:17:48Marc:Yeah.

00:17:48Marc:You were just, you know, I'm doing your... Well, I was a humorous guy, too.

00:17:52Guest:I mean, I was voted most humorous in my senior class in high school.

00:17:56Guest:uh what plays did you do in high school and college um oh i ended up doing weird random frankie and johnny uh-huh um you know little things like that nothing too right i was never shakespearean please did you do any singing musical theater no i the only the only thing i ever did was at the upright citizens brigade theater

00:18:16Guest:matt walsh put on a show a halloween show an annual halloween show called uh kilgore right and it was just a bloody mess it was the whole point was just to be as disgusting as possible yeah and one year they decided to make it a musical and uh and i sang in that and it actually went went okay i wasn't too embarrassed well that's good i mean i just i was trying to unearth a secret thespian past where you um you did uh uh bye bye johnny or one of those uh

00:18:43Guest:Matter of fact, I had an audition recently where they wanted me to sing, and I didn't go in.

00:18:50Guest:Oh, by the fear?

00:18:51Guest:Yeah, because I can karaoke, drunk karaoke with the best of them.

00:18:56Guest:Yeah.

00:18:57Guest:What's your song?

00:18:58Guest:I usually go Neil Diamond.

00:18:59Guest:Really?

00:19:00Guest:To be honest.

00:19:00Guest:Which one?

00:19:01Guest:Any of them.

00:19:02Guest:Cherry Cherry.

00:19:03Guest:You know, I mean, you can't go wrong with a lot of Neil.

00:19:06Marc:Neil satisfies.

00:19:06Guest:Pretty simple.

00:19:07Guest:The vocal range is within.

00:19:09Marc:Exactly.

00:19:09Marc:And the crowd, it's a crowd pleaser.

00:19:12Marc:So.

00:19:12Marc:Yeah.

00:19:13Marc:So I go Neil usually.

00:19:14Marc:All right, so there you are, you're what, 19 years old, you're an acting major, and you're like, all right, the Marines, the hardest thing that a person could do, and the commitment, and I don't know, where does that fall around the first Gulf War, 89, what year was that?

00:19:27Guest:It was 90.

00:19:28Guest:I was actually at Officer Candidate School in the summer of 90.

00:19:33Guest:I was actually on the parade deck, we were drilling, doing close order drill, you know, like you see marching around, left shoulder, right shoulder, and the bugle sounded.

00:19:43Guest:And our drill sergeant goes, freeze!

00:19:46Guest:Everybody freeze!

00:19:47Guest:So we're like, we don't know what the hell's going on.

00:19:49Guest:We don't have watches.

00:19:50Guest:We don't have newspapers.

00:19:51Guest:We're in total information dark.

00:19:54Guest:And the bugle blew again.

00:19:57Guest:And this look, drill instructors are mean, and they're surly, and they know everything about everything.

00:20:04Guest:And I saw a look of somewhat panic in his eyes.

00:20:08Guest:And it was a little chilling, to be honest with you.

00:20:10Marc:And you had no idea.

00:20:11Guest:And I had no idea.

00:20:12Guest:And he goes, and he said out loud, he goes, if that horn blows again, we're going to war, boys.

00:20:16Guest:And we were all like, I didn't know what he meant.

00:20:19Guest:And I was like, I still don't know.

00:20:21Guest:Yeah, I was like, I'm expecting any minute to get yelled at.

00:20:23Guest:So I'm just afraid.

00:20:25Guest:I'm just like, whatever.

00:20:26Guest:Just let me get through this.

00:20:27Guest:And then a couple days later, we were in one of our classes.

00:20:33Marc:So it did blow again?

00:20:34Guest:No, it didn't.

00:20:35Guest:Okay.

00:20:36Guest:So we were all like, oh, geez, I don't know what the hell that meant.

00:20:38Guest:I don't know what's going on, but we didn't care.

00:20:40Guest:Well, you're not allowed to watch television on the day?

00:20:41Marc:No, no, no, no.

00:20:42Marc:Are you serious?

00:20:42Guest:Yeah, because this is boot camp.

00:20:44Guest:There's no television at boot camp?

00:20:45Marc:No.

00:20:45Guest:That is fucking awful.

00:20:47Guest:Oh, no.

00:20:48Guest:There's a lot of nothing at boot camp.

00:20:49Guest:I mean, there's... Anyway, so we were sitting in a class, and one of our instructors said, has anybody ever heard of the country of Kuwait?

00:20:58Guest:And everybody raised their hand, and he goes, well, it doesn't exist anymore.

00:21:01Guest:And so we were like, what?

00:21:02Guest:And then he explained to us what had happened.

00:21:04Guest:And we were like, holy, that's what it was about.

00:21:06Guest:And so then we started to put two together.

00:21:08Marc:And then what happened, though?

00:21:09Marc:Did you go?

00:21:10Guest:No, I didn't, because I was still in undergrad, and I was just going through officer candidate school.

00:21:16Guest:Now, a lot of the guys that were prior enlisted Marines

00:21:20Marc:What is the difference?

00:21:21Marc:I mean, officer candidate school means what?

00:21:23Marc:I mean, is that something everybody goes through when they join the Marines?

00:21:25Guest:No.

00:21:27Guest:There's two different things.

00:21:28Guest:There's boot camp, which is for the enlisted Marines.

00:21:32Marc:Okay.

00:21:32Guest:That's Paris Island, San Diego.

00:21:34Guest:That's what you see like in Full Metal Jacket.

00:21:37Marc:Right.

00:21:37Guest:That's where they go to turn you into a Marine.

00:21:39Guest:You didn't do that.

00:21:41Guest:No, I did a different version of that.

00:21:43Guest:I did officer candidate school.

00:21:44Marc:Okay, so you were trying to get in.

00:21:46Marc:You were trying to break in at the top.

00:21:49Guest:Yes, because I was in college and I was going to go.

00:21:52Guest:When I graduated, I would get commissioned as a second lieutenant, provided I could get through OCS.

00:21:56Guest:Now, boot camp is miserable.

00:21:59Guest:It's a hard, miserable experience.

00:22:01Marc:That's where people are like, you're either going to jail or the Marines.

00:22:04Marc:What do you want to do, kid?

00:22:05Guest:Yeah, that could be definitely a possibility.

00:22:07Marc:It's not for necessarily college-educated people or something.

00:22:10Guest:No, no, but a lot of college guys go through there.

00:22:12Guest:I had a sergeant work for me who was a graduate of Michigan State.

00:22:16Guest:He had an accounting degree from Michigan State, and he was working in a cubicle one day, and he literally looked around and snapped and just said, oh, my God, this is my life.

00:22:25Guest:And he walked out during lunch of his job, which was like Arthur Anderson.

00:22:28Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:22:29Guest:And walked to the Marine recruiting office and signed up and just said, I'm going to join the Marines.

00:22:32Guest:I don't care what happens.

00:22:33Marc:I need some discipline.

00:22:33Guest:I'm getting, no, I'm just getting out of here.

00:22:35Guest:I got my life.

00:22:36Guest:That's pretty exact.

00:22:37Guest:That's extreme.

00:22:38Guest:Then he eventually went on to become an officer later, but he enlisted initially.

00:22:41Guest:But what happens is if you sign a contract with the Marines as an enlisted, you know, if you just enlist in the Marine Corps, they're going to make you a Marine.

00:22:49Guest:Right.

00:22:49Guest:come heck or high water, because they got you for four years.

00:22:51Guest:Now, if that means you have to go through boot camp twice to get down to weight, you know, get your weight under control, or to be able to do the amount of pull-ups you need to do, or to learn how to do closer to drill, or learn how to fire your weapon, they'll send you through boot camp twice if they have to.

00:23:06Guest:They're going to make you a Marine.

00:23:08Guest:Officer Candid School is different.

00:23:10Marc:And you're just hoping for no Leonards.

00:23:11Guest:Yeah, exactly.

00:23:12Guest:You're really hoping for that.

00:23:13Guest:But Officer Canada School is a little different because you have to go to them and say, I want to be an officer.

00:23:19Guest:And they say, okay, well, come on and try out.

00:23:21Guest:And then you go, and then they're trying to get rid of you the whole time.

00:23:24Marc:So you should be in pretty good shape already and ready to do anything?

00:23:26Guest:Oh, you got to be ready to go.

00:23:27Guest:My platoon started with 68, and we graduated 34, 50% attrition.

00:23:34Marc:Now, were you in good shape?

00:23:35Marc:Yeah, I was in good shape.

00:23:37Marc:And you were prepared?

00:23:38Guest:I was as prepared as I could be.

00:23:39Guest:You're never truly prepared to be –

00:23:42Guest:You know, sleep deprived and scared and hungry and not know what the hell is going on.

00:23:47Marc:So you didn't go in out of a sense of service necessarily?

00:23:51Marc:No, I did.

00:23:52Guest:I'm a Midwestern kid.

00:23:54Guest:Right.

00:23:55Guest:I'm a pretty patriotic guy.

00:23:57Guest:I really do.

00:23:59Guest:You know, I know a lot of people look at this country and they like to point out our shortcomings.

00:24:03Guest:And we have them.

00:24:04Guest:I'm not saying we don't.

00:24:05Guest:Right.

00:24:05Guest:There's a lot of good things, too, man.

00:24:07Marc:Yeah, we're sitting here in my garage making a podcast.

00:24:09Marc:Exactly.

00:24:10Guest:I mean, there's a lot of really wonderful things about this country.

00:24:13Guest:But that's the wonderful thing.

00:24:14Guest:We're always trying to make a more perfect union.

00:24:17Guest:So it's a work in progress, which is a wonderful thing.

00:24:20Guest:So there's a lot to be proud of and a lot of good things.

00:24:22Guest:So I was honored to serve, and I'm glad that I served.

00:24:28Guest:I have no regrets.

00:24:29Guest:And there's also something, I don't know, maybe there's something in the male psyche

00:24:33Guest:about that question of, can I hack it?

00:24:38Guest:Can I do it?

00:24:39Guest:What would I do in that situation?

00:24:41Marc:Sure, and you opted for the Marines as opposed to prison, which is good.

00:24:44Marc:You're going to learn whatever you need to do.

00:24:46Marc:But yeah, I wanted to know if I could do it.

00:24:48Marc:But I think there's something very commendable in the action of anybody that agrees to serve, that there's a selflessness that is...

00:24:59Marc:really unusual, I think, in general, in the American culture right now.

00:25:03Marc:I mean, this is a culture sort of dedicated to narcissism and getting what you want.

00:25:08Marc:And the actual, for whatever reason, because a lot of people say, well, the service is different now.

00:25:13Marc:It's not because the nature of the conflicts we're in are not necessarily...

00:25:22Marc:like the ones in even Korea, or I think that Vietnam sort of changed the game a little bit, that your loyalty is really to the Marines and to your fellow soldiers, and that whether or not you agree with what's going on or whether you understand the politics of it, that's really not the issue.

00:25:38Marc:And I think that it's become difficult for people who serve in the sense that they've sort of had to adjust to the fact that there is not necessarily a national momentum behind what they're doing.

00:25:49Guest:Oh, I mean, absolutely.

00:25:51Guest:If you look around, who's fighting these wars is not America.

00:25:57Guest:It's America's military.

00:25:58Guest:That's who's fighting these wars.

00:26:00Guest:It's business as usual around here.

00:26:02Guest:I mean, people were pulling their hair out because the Lakers got swept.

00:26:06Guest:We're dropping bombs in Libya.

00:26:09Guest:We're fighting battles in Afghanistan and holding off these IEDs in Iraq.

00:26:14Guest:I mean, we got people...

00:26:15Marc:dying and getting wounded every day, but nobody around here knows it.

00:26:19Marc:Where did you serve when you did your tours of duty?

00:26:22Guest:As far as overseas, I served in Liberia, Africa.

00:26:28Guest:Went over there and helped secure the embassy there.

00:26:30Guest:And then I went to... See, I didn't even know there was a problem there.

00:26:34Guest:Yeah, there's a civil war going on in Liberia and it spilled over into the capital city of Monrovia.

00:26:40Guest:Right.

00:26:40Guest:And it was threatening the U.S.

00:26:42Guest:embassy.

00:26:42Guest:There was, you know, people shooting.

00:26:44Guest:And we have a lot of allies, a lot of designated third country nationals that we had to evacuate as well, i.e.

00:26:51Guest:Japan.

00:26:52Guest:They don't have a naval and marine force that can come pull up off the coast of Liberia and get their people off.

00:26:56Guest:So we got evacuated our embassy and then we also evacuated our allies.

00:27:00Marc:But was there a moment when you were doing that where you were like, no, we got to go back for the Japanese guys.

00:27:05Marc:It's like these Belgians are killing me.

00:27:07Guest:Really?

00:27:08Guest:We got to go back and get the Belgians?

00:27:10Guest:What did they ever do for us?

00:27:11Guest:Right.

00:27:12Guest:But, yeah, so, you know, but that's the deal.

00:27:14Guest:Was there shooting?

00:27:15Guest:Get your orders, yeah.

00:27:16Guest:Yeah, there was.

00:27:18Guest:And then I served in Albania.

00:27:22Guest:What was going on there?

00:27:23Guest:It was when the Serbs had drove into Kosovo and were...

00:27:27Guest:Bombing and driving all the ethnic Albanians.

00:27:30Marc:Under Clinton?

00:27:31Guest:Yes.

00:27:31Guest:Yeah.

00:27:32Guest:Drove everybody out of Kosovo.

00:27:35Marc:That must have been gnarly.

00:27:36Marc:I mean, it was bad there, wasn't it?

00:27:37Guest:Yeah, it was.

00:27:37Guest:It was really bad.

00:27:38Guest:And we had a huge humanitarian crisis.

00:27:42Guest:We had a lot of refugees.

00:27:45Guest:All these Kosovo, these ethnic Albanians that had been driven out of Kosovo, driven from their homes, were massed on the Macedonia border and all the Albanian border.

00:27:55Guest:And we went in and we tried to help with that humanitarian problem because you've got hundreds of thousands of people just stranded on the border.

00:28:01Guest:Right.

00:28:01Guest:No shelter, no plumbing.

00:28:03Guest:Wow.

00:28:04Guest:So we went in and we built all these refugee camps.

00:28:07Guest:Right.

00:28:08Guest:And with our allies, it wasn't just us, but there was American camps, British camps.

00:28:14Guest:Right.

00:28:15Guest:And then we said, okay, come on down, guys.

00:28:17Guest:We've got food and showers and bathrooms and medical and everything you could want and we're here to help.

00:28:23Guest:And they all said, no, we're not going.

00:28:25Marc:So you built all this shit and no one's coming?

00:28:27Guest:Well, at first, they were like, we're not leaving.

00:28:29Guest:Because when they left their homes, they left on their tractors and they loaded up their wagons with everything they have.

00:28:35Guest:And they weren't about to leave it at the border unattended.

00:28:38Guest:Because it's all they had left.

00:28:40Guest:That's all they had.

00:28:41Guest:And we're like, well, this can't go on.

00:28:42Guest:So we came to some sort of understanding where...

00:28:45Guest:Women and children, come on down to the camps.

00:28:48Guest:Men, you stay with your gear, so to speak.

00:28:50Guest:And that's pretty much what happened.

00:28:52Guest:And then we kept bombing Kosovo.

00:28:54Guest:We kept bombing the Serb army in Kosovo.

00:28:56Guest:And eventually, the Serbs said, no mas, we're out.

00:28:59Guest:So they pulled out.

00:29:00Guest:Now, when they pulled out,

00:29:02Guest:you couldn't leave a vacuum of power.

00:29:04Guest:So as they pulled out, the allies pushed in.

00:29:08Guest:So we literally were, they would be backing out of a street as we were coming up the street.

00:29:12Marc:Really?

00:29:13Marc:Yeah.

00:29:13Marc:So you saw their tanks and trucks leaving?

00:29:15Marc:Absolutely.

00:29:16Guest:Face-to-face with them as we came in because...

00:29:19Guest:you know you just really you couldn't leave because the kla the kosovo liberation army was up in the hills and they wanted some payback um uh you know and and it it was just a very dicey situation so you didn't know where it was going to come right and then the serbs that were left behind the serb people that were left behind right there were civilians they were afraid for their lives for right for retribution from the kla right and you know it was one of those things where we had to disarm everybody and protect everybody

00:29:43Guest:And nobody trusted anybody.

00:29:47Guest:So everybody's shooting at everybody.

00:29:48Guest:It was chaotic.

00:29:50Guest:And what was your rank?

00:29:53Guest:I was a captain at the time.

00:29:54Marc:And what does that mean?

00:29:56Marc:Who's under you?

00:30:00Guest:First lieutenant, second lieutenant, and all the enlisted.

00:30:03Marc:And above you is?

00:30:05Guest:Major, lieutenant colonel, colonels, generals.

00:30:07Marc:Right.

00:30:08Marc:So you were site manager.

00:30:10Right.

00:30:11Guest:Yeah, I mean, I was, you know, I was a public affairs, civil affairs officer, which means I dealt with information.

00:30:17Guest:I dealt with media.

00:30:18Guest:If Christiana Amapour one day showed up at our base and was like, I want to go see, I want to go see what's going on down in this town.

00:30:27Guest:I want to go see what's going on here.

00:30:28Marc:And you said, do you want some coffee?

00:30:30Guest:Yeah, exactly.

00:30:31Guest:I said, load up, you know, put her on a via and we went, you know, and I would take her to wherever she wanted to go on the battlefield.

00:30:37Guest:Because if they're unescorted, a lot of times they can get themselves into trouble.

00:30:40Marc:Right.

00:30:41Marc:So but were you so you weren't really directing troops?

00:30:45Guest:No, no, I didn't have direct command.

00:30:46Marc:Right.

00:30:46Marc:Troops.

00:30:47Marc:OK.

00:30:47Guest:But I worked as as support staff staff officer, you know, because you have a ground combat element.

00:30:54Guest:You have an aviation combat element you have and combat service support.

00:30:58Guest:Wow.

00:30:58Guest:And then you have a command element.

00:30:59Guest:And I was always usually part of the command element.

00:31:02Marc:So were you for the command?

00:31:03Marc:So that so when someone like Christiane Amanpour wants to see stuff, do you say like, well, what kind of tour do you want?

00:31:08Guest:Well, the thing is, we're not in the business of denying anybody.

00:31:12Guest:It's a courtesy thing where she'll come in and say, hey, I'm probably going to go do these things.

00:31:18Guest:And I can say, well, there's a minefield over there, so don't do that.

00:31:22Guest:Or I can say, if you want, I can take you down there and introduce you to the commanding officer of that town or whoever's in charge of that particular section.

00:31:30Guest:Wow.

00:31:30Guest:And then, you know.

00:31:32Guest:Make the proper introductions.

00:31:33Marc:And did you and then did you end up in Afghanistan?

00:31:36Guest:Yes.

00:31:37Marc:Yeah.

00:31:37Marc:And then you grew in rank.

00:31:39Guest:Yes.

00:31:40Guest:So I get a guaranteed flight contract.

00:31:42Guest:I take this test called the AQTFAR.

00:31:44Guest:It's like a I don't know.

00:31:46Guest:Which means you'll get to fly planes.

00:31:48Guest:It's like an SAT for planes.

00:31:49Guest:Right.

00:31:49Guest:All right.

00:31:49Guest:So I took that.

00:31:50Guest:I scored high enough.

00:31:51Guest:So I got a guaranteed flight contract.

00:31:53Guest:So that's what you wanted to do, which is that's what I wanted to do.

00:31:56Guest:And I figured, you know, I'm either going to be a waiter upon graduation or Top Gun.

00:31:59Guest:So I'm going to do that.

00:31:59Marc:And you might be able to be a commercial pilot.

00:32:01Guest:Exactly.

00:32:02Guest:You could lead to other things.

00:32:03Guest:But I got into flight school and I was going through flight school in Pensacola.

00:32:06Guest:And then I went over to Corpus Christi and I was continuing flight school and I was getting close to getting my wings.

00:32:10Guest:And what I realized was when I pin those wings on, they got me for eight years.

00:32:15Guest:They own me.

00:32:16Guest:I'm done.

00:32:17Guest:That's it.

00:32:17Guest:Because they put a lot of effort into you.

00:32:19Guest:Absolutely.

00:32:19Guest:A lot of money, a lot of training.

00:32:20Guest:And I was like, you know what?

00:32:21Guest:If I pin those wings on, that's it.

00:32:24Guest:They got me for eight years.

00:32:24Guest:And at the time, I was a young man.

00:32:26Guest:And I thought, that's my whole life.

00:32:27Guest:And I'm never going to get a chance to act or try comedy.

00:32:30Guest:And it really wasn't sitting well with me.

00:32:32Guest:Because if I tried comedy and failed, I could live with it.

00:32:34Guest:I wouldn't like it.

00:32:35Guest:But I could live with it.

00:32:36Guest:But if I didn't try it, I would always regret it.

00:32:38Guest:And I knew that.

00:32:38Guest:Even then, I knew that.

00:32:39Guest:Yeah.

00:32:40Guest:So I was like, all right, I'm not going to fly anymore.

00:32:42Guest:I'm going to be a, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to be a comedian.

00:32:45Guest:I'm going to be a comedian.

00:32:46Guest:And you know, you can imagine how that went over.

00:32:48Guest:I mean, everybody in my flight class, my commanding officer, my girlfriend, even my parents, everybody's like, you're an idiot.

00:32:53Guest:What the fuck are you thinking about?

00:32:54Guest:You know?

00:32:55Guest:And I was like, I just, I can't describe it.

00:32:57Guest:I just know that I have to do it.

00:32:59Guest:And I've never made a big decision.

00:33:00Guest:Bold ass decision like that in my life.

00:33:02Guest:That's a really bold as it was it was and I'd never done anything like it But you're about to take control of a plane.

00:33:08Guest:Yeah, and the thing is if you're flying off a ship at night Yeah, you got to love it, man You got to be passionate about it and all my all the guys in my flight class We'd go out at night and they'd be talking with their hands, you know, like helicopters go Yeah, so I was coming in doing this and they talk about that the day's previous Yeah, and I'd be like let's go meet some girls, you know and

00:33:26Guest:That guy's dressed like a shithead.

00:33:28Guest:This is awesome.

00:33:29Guest:And those guys loved it and they were passionate about it because it was their dream.

00:33:34Guest:And my dream was to do comedy and to be an actor and do comedy.

00:33:38Guest:And so it got to that point where I had to make a decision and I did.

00:33:41Guest:And so the Marines said, well,

00:33:43Guest:If you're not going to fly, you've got to do your ground commitment.

00:33:45Guest:And I was like, fine, done.

00:33:47Guest:How long was that?

00:33:48Guest:That was three years.

00:33:50Guest:Okay.

00:33:50Guest:So that's fine with me.

00:33:51Guest:I was like, deal.

00:33:52Guest:So I went to defense information school.

00:33:55Guest:I became a public affairs officer.

00:33:57Guest:Then they sent me out to the fleet.

00:33:58Guest:They sent me to North Carolina.

00:34:00Guest:While I was in North Carolina, I went to school at night, so I stayed out of trouble because it's very easy to get in trouble.

00:34:05Marc:North Carolina?

00:34:06Guest:Absolutely.

00:34:07Guest:Absolutely.

00:34:07Guest:Especially as a single man.

00:34:09Guest:So I went to night school.

00:34:12Guest:I got a master's degree in public administration while I was there during that time.

00:34:16Guest:And then I was done.

00:34:16Guest:My time was up.

00:34:17Guest:I'd served my commitment.

00:34:18Guest:All my contract was fulfilled.

00:34:20Guest:And I said, peace out.

00:34:22Guest:Thanks for the memories.

00:34:23Guest:I'm going to Chicago.

00:34:25Guest:And I'm going to be a bartender.

00:34:26Guest:And I'm going to study at Second City because that's what Belushi did.

00:34:30Guest:And fuck it, that's what I'm going to do.

00:34:31Guest:And I even moved my stuff into a storage unit in Chicago.

00:34:35Guest:And I was ready to move.

00:34:36Guest:It was all done.

00:34:37Guest:And I was calling friends.

00:34:39Guest:I mean, everything.

00:34:40Guest:And the Marines came to me and they said, well, what would it take for you to stay in the Marine Corps?

00:34:45Guest:And I said, well, nothing.

00:34:46Guest:I'm going to Chicago.

00:34:48Guest:It's funny time.

00:34:50Guest:And they said, well, what if we could get you to New York City or Los Angeles?

00:34:53Guest:And I said, if you can do that, yeah, I will stay in.

00:34:56Guest:I will extend on active duty for I'll sign another extension for three years.

00:35:01Marc:And they said that's not a reserve thing.

00:35:02Guest:That's it's an active duty thing.

00:35:04Guest:So I'd still be on active duty, but it's not like being augmented where you become a lifer.

00:35:10Guest:Right.

00:35:10Guest:It's just an extension.

00:35:12Marc:Do you have to wear the uniform during the day?

00:35:13Guest:Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:35:14Guest:Because you're full time active duty.

00:35:15Guest:Okay.

00:35:16Guest:Yeah, you're not reserved.

00:35:16Guest:You're full-time duty.

00:35:18Guest:So I said, yeah, I'll extend for three more years if you can do that.

00:35:21Guest:Next morning, they called my bluff, orders to New York City.

00:35:24Guest:So I was like, well, where's the base?

00:35:26Guest:It's not a base.

00:35:27Guest:It's a little office right there on 3rd and 50th, right above Smith and Walensky's.

00:35:33Guest:Okay.

00:35:33Guest:Yeah.

00:35:34Guest:Yeah.

00:35:34Guest:Okay.

00:35:35Guest:So...

00:35:36Guest:And I was like, deal.

00:35:37Guest:And they're putting you up?

00:35:39Guest:Yeah.

00:35:39Guest:Well, I was a captain at the time.

00:35:41Guest:So they give you what's called variable housing allowance.

00:35:45Guest:So for whatever zip code you're in, they have some sort of government actuary who figures out.

00:35:51Guest:So I moved to New York City, and I got a little studio apartment, about this size, 350 square feet.

00:35:58Guest:Size of the garage.

00:35:59Guest:Yeah, 350 square feet, sight unseen.

00:36:02Guest:I just got it.

00:36:03Guest:Moved up there and started.

00:36:06Guest:The first thing I did, I went out to the comic strip live on Upper East Side.

00:36:10Marc:81st and 2nd.

00:36:11Guest:Yeah, because I lived on 75th and 2nd.

00:36:15Guest:And I went up there and they said they taught classes.

00:36:18Guest:And I was like, well, this is it.

00:36:19Guest:So I went in and I took a class.

00:36:21Guest:and uh i took class and you know he had a lot of great things to say but his style of comedy wasn't what i envisioned what you and i envisioned storytelling right all uh bill cosby or eddie murphy because i grew i saw delirious and it changed my life yeah and uh that was your moment that was my moment that's when i was like because i spent years quoting that you know yeah and i just thought it was i just loved the journey he took me on and he stayed for the whole class stayed for the whole course and

00:36:47Guest:Got on stage.

00:36:48Marc:Got on stage at the end.

00:36:49Marc:You got on with your jokes.

00:36:50Marc:Yep.

00:36:51Marc:And he joled you into writing short jokes.

00:36:53Marc:Short jokes.

00:36:54Marc:And I did five minutes.

00:36:55Marc:In front of an audience at the comic strip.

00:36:56Marc:Yep.

00:36:57Marc:A lot of free tickets.

00:36:58Marc:Yep.

00:36:59Marc:A pretty good house.

00:37:00Marc:Pretty good sides.

00:37:01Guest:Because the class brought in a lot of people.

00:37:02Guest:Yeah.

00:37:02Guest:And how did you do?

00:37:04Guest:I don't remember any of it.

00:37:06Guest:I literally just got up and it went fine.

00:37:08Guest:Like I saw the tape later.

00:37:09Guest:Yeah.

00:37:10Guest:And it went like people were laughing and enjoying themselves.

00:37:11Guest:Yeah.

00:37:12Guest:Yeah.

00:37:12Guest:But it was my pulse.

00:37:13Guest:I never real fear, real blackout, blackout fear where I was.

00:37:18Guest:And I know like I have no I'll I'll attack a hill.

00:37:21Guest:But but I honestly it's a different kind of fear.

00:37:24Guest:It was.

00:37:25Guest:It was really exposing yourself to some heavy judgment, yes.

00:37:30Guest:Heavy judgment.

00:37:31Guest:And it's also a dream that you're like, oh, God, I hope this works.

00:37:34Guest:And then the more you think about it, you go, blah, blah, blah.

00:37:37Guest:So I went up and I did it, and it went fine.

00:37:39Guest:But I remember when it was done, I remember thinking, I hated that.

00:37:42Guest:I hated it.

00:37:43Guest:I hated it.

00:37:44Guest:Why?

00:37:45Guest:Because it just didn't feel right.

00:37:47Guest:I wasn't doing my comedy, which was storytelling.

00:37:51Guest:And I hated the fear.

00:37:52Guest:And I hated that anxiety.

00:37:54Guest:And I just hated it.

00:37:55Marc:Of heading towards the stage.

00:37:57Guest:Yeah.

00:37:57Guest:And I remember thinking I made a colossal mistake.

00:37:59Guest:I have no business in comedy.

00:38:01Guest:I got no business.

00:38:02Guest:Oh, really?

00:38:02Marc:Oh, yeah.

00:38:02Guest:But you're still in uniform, though.

00:38:04Guest:Well, yeah.

00:38:04Guest:But you could have made up for it.

00:38:06Guest:Yeah, I could have.

00:38:06Guest:But I didn't want.

00:38:07Guest:And I don't like to quit.

00:38:09Guest:Yeah.

00:38:09Guest:I hate it.

00:38:10Guest:Matter of fact, the only thing I've ever quit in my life was fly school.

00:38:12Guest:ever yeah ever i mean even like even things that you know i hated i still would see it through at least till the end why oh because i don't know my somebody told me a long time quitting is a bad habit and i bought into that i really did and so you still believe it i do i do i mean i think i think i'm more go with relationships i'm more measured

00:38:33Marc:Are you married?

00:38:34Marc:I am married.

00:38:35Marc:How long have you been married?

00:38:35Marc:12 years.

00:38:36Marc:And how long have you been married?

00:38:38Guest:But I'm lucky because it's effortless.

00:38:40Guest:Oh, good.

00:38:40Guest:It really is.

00:38:41Guest:So that's not a struggle.

00:38:42Guest:I'm not sticking in that because I'm upset.

00:38:45Marc:No, no, no.

00:38:45Guest:I was curious how long you went with her before.

00:38:47Guest:Oh, just about two years.

00:38:48Marc:Uh-huh.

00:38:48Guest:Yeah, so we've been together, I think, total 14.

00:38:50Guest:So you met her after you made the decision to be a comic?

00:38:54Guest:Yes.

00:38:54Guest:Okay.

00:38:54Guest:As a matter of fact, I was moving from North Carolina to New York.

00:38:58Guest:Yeah.

00:38:59Guest:And I hadn't used any of my leave, and I had to use it or I would lose it.

00:39:03Guest:Right.

00:39:03Guest:So I was like, all right, I'll take 10 days, and I went home to Kansas City to see my family.

00:39:07Guest:Yeah.

00:39:07Guest:And just hang out, play golf, see some old buddies, whatever.

00:39:09Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:39:10Guest:Dicking around for 10 days.

00:39:11Guest:And that's where I met her, back home.

00:39:13Marc:And you didn't know her when you were younger?

00:39:15Marc:No.

00:39:15Marc:Just a coincidence?

00:39:16Guest:Yeah.

00:39:16Guest:Where'd you meet her?

00:39:17Guest:A friend of mine who's a girl, I called her and I said, hey, I'm back in town.

00:39:22Guest:Let's grab a beer.

00:39:23Guest:And she had a boyfriend at the time.

00:39:24Guest:But whatever.

00:39:24Guest:And I said, well, you know.

00:39:26Guest:And so she's, oh, great.

00:39:27Guest:And I'll bring a friend from work.

00:39:28Guest:And I was like, is she cute?

00:39:29Guest:And she was.

00:39:31Guest:And we hit it off like gangbusters.

00:39:32Guest:And you had to break it to her that you were quitting the Marines and not going to be a pilot to pursue comedy?

00:39:37Guest:Exactly.

00:39:38Guest:Well, at the time, I was still in the Marines.

00:39:39Guest:So I was like, oh, I'm still in the Marines.

00:39:40Guest:I'm going to New York.

00:39:41Guest:And I did all that.

00:39:43Guest:But anyway, so where was I?

00:39:45Marc:You had a horrible time at the comic strip and you hated the fear and anxiety.

00:39:49Marc:Right.

00:39:50Marc:And it wasn't what you wanted to do.

00:39:51Marc:I called a friend of mine.

00:39:52Marc:Yeah.

00:39:53Guest:A friend of a friend was Dave Koechner.

00:39:56Guest:Oh, yeah, he's great.

00:39:57Guest:Yeah.

00:39:57Guest:So I have a friend who was friends with Dave Koechner.

00:40:00Guest:Right.

00:40:00Guest:And my friend said, call Dave.

00:40:02Guest:And I said, oh, I don't know.

00:40:03Guest:That's kind of weird because he doesn't know me for a whole new one.

00:40:05Guest:I'm just going to be this schlub who's.

00:40:07Guest:Yeah.

00:40:07Guest:But OK, I did it because I'm not going to quit.

00:40:10Guest:And so I called him and I said, here's what happened.

00:40:12Guest:I hated it.

00:40:14Guest:Did you say it like that?

00:40:15Guest:I don't know what I'm going to do.

00:40:17Guest:In my head, that's what it sounded like.

00:40:18Guest:You're going to help me, man.

00:40:21Guest:That's what it sounded like.

00:40:22Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:40:23Guest:And Koechner, he was great.

00:40:25Guest:He was like, dude, relax.

00:40:26Guest:He goes, you're just starting out.

00:40:28Guest:Yeah.

00:40:28Guest:All right.

00:40:28Guest:He goes, go.

00:40:30Guest:I have some friends from Chicago who had just moved out to New York.

00:40:34Guest:And they're doing the basically Second City, you know, like ImprovOlympic, all that stuff that they did in Chicago.

00:40:40Guest:So it's Besser and Poehler.

00:40:42Guest:Besser, Poehler, Walsh, and Roberts.

00:40:43Guest:Yeah.

00:40:44Marc:And it's called the Upright Citizens Review.

00:40:46Marc:The original one on, what is it, 22nd or something?

00:40:48Guest:Well, yeah, that was the original theater.

00:40:50Guest:But this is even before that.

00:40:51Guest:This is when they just had rented a space at Solo Arts.

00:40:54Marc:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, upstairs.

00:40:55Marc:Yeah, the fifth, you know, the rickety old stairs?

00:40:57Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:40:59Guest:So I went and I saw their ASCAT show on Sunday night.

00:41:03Guest:And that was it, man.

00:41:04Guest:I was like, that's it.

00:41:06Guest:It was like, honestly, like the clouds had parted, you know, the light hit me, you know, just like Blues Brothers, you know, and I was like, that's it.

00:41:13Guest:This is it.

00:41:13Guest:This is what I want to do.

00:41:14Guest:So immediately I went up afterward and I said, hey, you know, I'm taking classes and that's it.

00:41:19Guest:I got into the classes.

00:41:21Guest:I took

00:41:22Guest:They had three levels at the time.

00:41:23Marc:That's so funny.

00:41:24Marc:The difference between what I picture sitting with D.F.

00:41:27Marc:Swiedler being told to write one liners that are efficient and then walking into whatever, you know, Matt named me and Ian and Matt had going on.

00:41:37Marc:It just must have been like, this is a lie.

00:41:39Marc:Yeah, it was.

00:41:41Marc:It really had a sense of.

00:41:42Guest:Sure.

00:41:42Guest:Just.

00:41:43Guest:And I was so amazed at how they were playing so well together and they anticipated.

00:41:47Marc:And you like your team sport kind of guy.

00:41:49Guest:yeah so i mean i mean that's i mean you know the ensemble made sense to me right you know how to work with people yes yeah it did you weren't one of those guys where it's like fuck people i just want a microphone that's what scares you it's like i need support yeah yeah yeah because and and they were serving the comedy they weren't serving themselves in any way it was just i don't know i just watched i i was blown away so i took all the classes yeah and i spent the next seven years

00:42:13Guest:taking classes or teaching classes or doing lights and sound for other people's shows or coaching younger teams or whatever.

00:42:21Marc:You're still in uniform here.

00:42:22Guest:I was, I was for three of those years.

00:42:25Guest:And then did you ever perform in uniform?

00:42:27Marc:No.

00:42:28Marc:Out of respect for the uniform.

00:42:29Guest:Yeah.

00:42:29Guest:A little bit.

00:42:30Guest:And also, uh, yeah, basically that.

00:42:32Guest:And also, uh, I, I always, I always kept those two worlds as separate as I could.

00:42:36Guest:You didn't talk about it?

00:42:37Guest:I did.

00:42:38Guest:I mean, people knew what I did.

00:42:39Guest:I mean, I was like, yeah, because I would go to work.

00:42:41Marc:You must have been such an anomaly to them.

00:42:43Guest:Well, a little bit.

00:42:44Guest:I mean, it would be one of those things, oh, did you hear about Riggle?

00:42:46Guest:He's doing yucks down there in downtown somewhere.

00:42:48Marc:And I don't want to explain it to him either.

00:42:50Marc:But on either side.

00:42:51Marc:I mean, you must have been an anomaly in both worlds.

00:42:53Marc:And you're right about that.

00:42:54Marc:You're not going to tell the Marine guys that you're doing stand-up.

00:42:56Marc:You're not going to tell the stand-up guys that you're a Marine.

00:42:58Guest:Yeah.

00:42:59Guest:Well, they knew I was in the Marines right away because my hair cut.

00:43:01Guest:I had two white walls.

00:43:02Guest:But did they know you were active?

00:43:04Guest:Yeah.

00:43:04Guest:Yeah, they did.

00:43:05Guest:But they were all really respectful of it.

00:43:08Marc:Like, no one was... Well, you must have been good.

00:43:10Guest:Well, maybe.

00:43:11Guest:But they... I'm not saying that there's that fundamental disrespect for the troops.

00:43:15Marc:Obviously, everybody respects the troops.

00:43:17Marc:But the idea that... I could just see that there must have been some nervousness on some level.

00:43:23Marc:Like, there's a Marine taking classes.

00:43:26Guest:And, you know, when I would... And I would... You know, you try to fit in.

00:43:30Guest:I don't think anybody walks in and says...

00:43:32Guest:fuck you, I'm a Marine, I'm gonna do this.

00:43:34Guest:I would... A character would.

00:43:35Guest:I would grunge it up.

00:43:36Guest:I'd grunge it up, you know.

00:43:37Guest:I mean, I couldn't hide the hair and I had to be clean-shaven.

00:43:40Guest:But I would, you know, I'd put on a baggy flannel, you know, and I'd, whatever, you know, and...

00:43:48Marc:I like the whole idea of a double life that you couldn't tell either side what you were really up to.

00:43:54Guest:And I did try to actively keep them separated because they're two different hats.

00:43:59Guest:Especially if you're an officer.

00:44:01Guest:You don't want to be acting like a jackass because people are looking to you for answers and you're the responsible adult in the room.

00:44:08Guest:And you have to conduct yourself in a way that... So was there a fear that you would get caught performing?

00:44:14Guest:No, no.

00:44:15Guest:You know in fact it got to the point where I invited invited people from the office.

00:44:18Guest:Uh-huh down and you know down to show Yeah, but but improv you know improv to sure it's one of those things where it's hit or miss right especially when you're first starting out Yeah, yeah, yeah, sometimes you have great shows you back that was magic and then sometimes you'd be like that was the worst piece of shit Yeah, nothing yeah, and those would be the nights I'd invite people down to and they'd be like

00:44:38Guest:Keep at it, Regal.

00:44:39Guest:Keep working on that.

00:44:41Guest:Nice hobby.

00:44:41Guest:And then you're constantly in the defensive where you're like, fuck off.

00:44:45Guest:It's really funny.

00:44:45Guest:It's good.

00:44:46Marc:Leave me alone.

00:44:47Marc:It'll be good.

00:44:48Guest:Why don't you guys see that?

00:44:50Guest:Exactly.

00:44:50Guest:So now what happened?

00:44:52Guest:How do you end up?

00:44:53Guest:So then at the end of that three years, the Marines said, okay, it's time to go to your next duty station.

00:44:58Guest:And they wanted to send me.

00:45:00Guest:But you were supposed to be done.

00:45:01Guest:Well, if I wanted to stay on active duty, let me put it that way.

00:45:05Marc:But you took the deal to New York and that was a three year deal.

00:45:08Marc:And I did those three years.

00:45:09Guest:OK, now you're three years into improv too.

00:45:11Guest:And my contract's up.

00:45:13Guest:And they say, now, if you want to stay on active duty, you've got to go to a new assignment.

00:45:17Guest:And I said, well, I'm not leaving New York.

00:45:19Guest:So I left active duty.

00:45:22Guest:Right.

00:45:22Guest:And then I joined the reserves.

00:45:24Guest:You joined that on purpose.

00:45:26Guest:Yeah, because you're automatically in the reserves, whether you like it or not, when you leave active duty for at least four years.

00:45:34Guest:Really?

00:45:34Guest:Yeah.

00:45:34Guest:Now, it's inactive ready reserve, meaning you can grow your hair long.

00:45:38Guest:You know, you can grow a goatee.

00:45:39Guest:You can do whatever you want.

00:45:40Marc:You're going to have to take it off when they call you.

00:45:42Guest:Yeah.

00:45:42Guest:Exactly.

00:45:43Guest:And it also means you're not going to be called unless it's a time of national emergency.

00:45:48Guest:Right.

00:45:48Guest:So you're basically out.

00:45:50Guest:All right.

00:45:51Guest:But they keep you on the rolls in case someone nuked New York.

00:45:55Guest:Right.

00:45:55Guest:And they needed a quick call up.

00:45:56Guest:They could go back and they could reach back to everybody who's been out for the last four years and say, you're still in the IRR, Individual Ready Reserve.

00:46:03Guest:You're coming back.

00:46:03Marc:And you just decided to, for what reason did you decide to go ahead and join the active reserve?

00:46:08Guest:Well, because it was 2000.

00:46:10Guest:pretty peaceful uh it was you know so you figured yeah i was i had nine years in and if you join active reserves there's a benefit to that you still get paid or yeah yeah okay yeah you still get a retirement okay do 20 right so i was like well you know i'm nine years in yeah it's peaceful and you know i do my drill days they're not that hard right it's not bad i'll do it i'm still doing my theater i'm still doing my design interfering with my comedy so i was like done deal

00:46:35Guest:So then 9-11 happens, and my reserve unit is in Manhattan.

00:46:40Guest:We were the only reserve unit in Manhattan.

00:46:42Guest:So we were activated on September 11th.

00:46:43Guest:That night, I got a call from my commanding officer in my reserve unit saying, we just got orders, report to Ground Zero tomorrow morning.

00:46:51Guest:So September 12th, I was down at Ground Zero.

00:46:53Guest:Holy shit.

00:46:55Guest:In uniform, working on the bucket brigades, moving rubble by hand.

00:46:59Guest:Right.

00:47:00Guest:This is on the 12th.

00:47:01Guest:This is on the 12th.

00:47:02Guest:From the 12th to the 18th, I worked on the Bucker Brigades on the northeast corner of Tower One.

00:47:06Marc:Just that smoldering heap of horror.

00:47:08Guest:Yeah, and it was six stories high.

00:47:09Guest:Yeah.

00:47:10Guest:And the smell was unforgettable.

00:47:11Guest:It was pulverized.

00:47:14Marc:It's like burning metal.

00:47:15Guest:It's burning metal, but pulverized concrete that got wet, and then it would be turned into this paste.

00:47:20Guest:And it was...

00:47:23Guest:Cause I was there.

00:47:24Guest:I was moon dust.

00:47:25Guest:You remember the moon dust effect of how fine that, that powder was horrendous.

00:47:28Marc:It was everywhere.

00:47:29Marc:I mean, I was in a story of Queens when, you know, when, uh, when the second tower went down, I went to my roof and, uh, and I just remember going into the city once you could finally get in and that smell was around from like, I felt like months.

00:47:40Guest:Yeah, it was.

00:47:41Guest:And it was getting your nostrils too.

00:47:43Guest:Cause I lived up around, I lived around 44th street.

00:47:45Guest:In Manhattan.

00:47:46Guest:And when the wind shifted, it would blow right up into our apartment.

00:47:50Marc:It was almost like a chemical smell.

00:47:51Guest:Yeah.

00:47:52Guest:It was an awful.

00:47:53Guest:But I worked down there from the 12th to the 16th, moving rubble by hand.

00:47:57Marc:12 hours on, 12 hours off.

00:47:58Guest:Just the horror of it when he saw family members.

00:48:00Guest:It was a very tough time.

00:48:03Guest:For everybody.

00:48:04Guest:For everybody.

00:48:04Guest:Yeah, I mean, everyone was in shock.

00:48:05Guest:But at least I considered myself, in a weird kind of way, lucky.

00:48:10Guest:Because if you remember that time...

00:48:12Guest:Everybody we had just been really sucker punched and everybody wanted to help they wanted to do so yeah Remember that feeling I heard what can I do?

00:48:19Guest:What can I do sure?

00:48:20Guest:Everybody had it and I was I felt kind of lucky because I was I was able to do something I was helping yeah, I was on I was working yeah, you know I was moving stuff 12 hours on 12 hours off just doing it doing it and what was what was going on at that time down there I mean I mean I know it's so right after but I mean and

00:48:35Marc:Was there panic?

00:48:36Marc:There was so much panic and chaos.

00:48:37Marc:Or did they coordinate off?

00:48:38Guest:There was a panic down there.

00:48:40Guest:I'll tell you, on one of the early, like maybe 13th or 14th, we were afraid that that other building, the one that had, it looked like a big claw, had just gouged out the front of it.

00:48:49Guest:I forget which building it was, but there was a fear that it was going to collapse.

00:48:54Guest:But we had to keep working because we thought it was still search and rescue at that point.

00:48:58Guest:It wasn't search and recovery at that point.

00:49:00Guest:So we thought there might be survivors.

00:49:01Guest:So you got six stories of rubble.

00:49:03Guest:You're trying to move all the stuff by hand because you couldn't bring in the heavy equipment yet because you didn't want any cave-ins and we were still thinking rescue.

00:49:11Marc:And you had no idea what was going on inside the rubble.

00:49:13Guest:Exactly.

00:49:15Guest:So we were moving things by hand.

00:49:16Guest:We dropped listening devices down there.

00:49:18Guest:They'd call for silence.

00:49:21Guest:you could hear a pin drop.

00:49:22Guest:I mean, you talk about hardcore working, you know, bang, bang, bang.

00:49:25Guest:You know, someone would blow a whistle.

00:49:27Guest:Nothing, just absolute silence.

00:49:28Guest:And then they'd sound the whistle, you know, the all clear and everybody go back to work.

00:49:32Guest:But one time, there was one time down there that they sounded like an old Air Raid horn, you know, ah!

00:49:39Guest:And everybody took off.

00:49:40Guest:I mean, like ants running off a hill.

00:49:43Guest:Just everybody ran off the rubble piles.

00:49:45Guest:Military and otherwise?

00:49:46Marc:Everybody.

00:49:47Guest:Firefighters, any worker down there.

00:49:50Guest:Because apparently they thought the building was going to collapse.

00:49:53Guest:Oh, the one that went.

00:49:53Guest:Yeah, and it was going to come down.

00:49:54Guest:So that was the only time that I felt any panic down there.

00:49:57Guest:Did it collapse?

00:49:58Guest:No, it didn't collapse.

00:49:59Guest:But I remember as I turned the corner, there was a light, one of those mobile lights set up that come out on a trailer for the night work.

00:50:08Guest:and the trailer hitch was sticking out and my legs got pinned up against it and people started pushing behind me and for a minute I thought they were going to break my legs because of just the wave of people behind me and I couldn't get my legs out and thank God I was big enough that I just elbowed back and kind of just gave myself enough room to get over it.

00:50:25Guest:It's a good thing to do at concerts too.

00:50:28Guest:So how long did you spend down there at Ground Zero?

00:50:30Guest:The 12th to the 18th on the piles from the 18th to September 30th in one police plaza helping to coordinate military and civilian efforts like cadaver dogs or anything we can do.

00:50:44Guest:Do you have any health repercussions?

00:50:47Guest:I don't think I do.

00:50:48Guest:I mean, I've always been kind of conscious of that.

00:50:50Guest:I check every now and then, but I have pretty good respiratory.

00:50:54Guest:I feel all right.

00:50:56Guest:And then after that, I got called back to active duty November.

00:51:02Guest:November 10th, I remember, because it was the Marine Corps birthday.

00:51:05Guest:And I reported on November 17th to Central Command down in Tampa, Florida.

00:51:11Guest:And on November 30th, I was in Afghanistan.

00:51:14Guest:So 20 days from the time I got my orders, I was in Afghanistan.

00:51:17Marc:There wasn't even a defined mission, was there?

00:51:20Guest:Well, when I got there, we hadn't even taken the southern part of the country.

00:51:25Guest:And this is when your rank changed?

00:51:27Guest:No, my rank changed at the end of my tour.

00:51:30Guest:When I was done with my year tour, I went from captain to major.

00:51:35Guest:And then just two years ago, I went from major to lieutenant colonel.

00:51:39Marc:Wow.

00:51:39Marc:So what was going on in Afghanistan that first?

00:51:42Guest:I went over and was working with the 3rd Battalion, 5th Special Forces Group in Mazar-e-Sharif up in the north.

00:51:51Guest:And they were working with the Northern Alliance.

00:51:53Guest:And we were, you know, just securing the country.

00:51:56Guest:taking out the Taliban, taking out Al-Qaeda, and we haven't taken the southern part of the country yet.

00:52:02Guest:What was your job then?

00:52:03Guest:Civil affairs and public affairs.

00:52:05Guest:Again, working for the commanding officer.

00:52:07Guest:But shooting, right?

00:52:08Guest:No, no.

00:52:09Guest:I mean, I had my weapon.

00:52:11Guest:I had my weapon out a couple times, but no shooting.

00:52:16Guest:And that was the last tour you did?

00:52:18Marc:That was the last tour overseas, yeah.

00:52:20Marc:And was that Harry?

00:52:21Marc:I mean, was it mostly trying to unify, find some front of support there?

00:52:26Guest:Yeah, I mean, we, the Northern Alliance, you know, they had hated the Taliban and Al-Qaeda for a long time.

00:52:32Marc:Yeah, yeah, but it's like, you know, it's almost ancient tribal warfare.

00:52:35Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:52:37Guest:But we teamed up with them and got rid of the Taliban in the north, which helped set up, you know, the eventual securing of the south.

00:52:44Marc:Uh-huh.

00:52:44Marc:Yeah.

00:52:45Marc:Now, in retrospect, now, as a you're still in your lieutenant colonel now.

00:52:51Marc:Yeah.

00:52:51Marc:I mean, now, what do you how do you react to the swirling left?

00:52:56Marc:Yeah.

00:52:56Marc:I mean, I did Air America for years.

00:52:57Marc:I'm a lefty.

00:52:58Marc:But, you know, like 9-11 was an inside job.

00:53:01Marc:Bush was in Cheney were the antichrist.

00:53:04Marc:I mean, do you just stay out of the dialogue or what?

00:53:07Guest:Honestly, yeah.

00:53:08Marc:A lot of times I do.

00:53:09Marc:Well, you served under Clinton.

00:53:11Marc:I did.

00:53:12Guest:I mean, you're a military guy.

00:53:13Guest:I can actually say that Bush sent me to war.

00:53:17Guest:Clinton sent me to war.

00:53:18Marc:Right.

00:53:19Marc:So that's it.

00:53:20Marc:So you just honored the service and the country.

00:53:23Marc:Absolutely.

00:53:23Guest:You don't want your military to make their own decisions.

00:53:26Guest:Trust me, you don't want that.

00:53:28Guest:You want civilian leadership of your military.

00:53:30Guest:And if your civilian leadership says go, you go.

00:53:32Guest:And if they say stay, you stay.

00:53:34Marc:So now how long do you stay on active duty?

00:53:36Marc:Are you just going to keep letting it ride out?

00:53:38Marc:Are you going to do the 20?

00:53:39Guest:No, I'm going to retire next year, I think.

00:53:42Guest:Because you're doing all right.

00:53:46Guest:I think now I feel fine.

00:53:48Guest:Now I can retire.

00:53:49Marc:So after Afghanistan, you come back and what?

00:53:51Marc:You go back to the UCB?

00:53:52Guest:Yeah, I got back in 2002.

00:53:54Guest:And then I went back to the UCB, kept working.

00:53:57Guest:In 2004, I got on Saturday Night Live.

00:54:00Guest:Wow.

00:54:00Guest:I was very fortunate.

00:54:01Marc:Now, when you audition for something like that, when you're sitting there with Lorne Michaels, I've been through that process.

00:54:06Marc:You told him you were a Marine, right?

00:54:09Guest:No, I didn't tell him.

00:54:11Guest:I think maybe he might have heard or maybe he knew.

00:54:13Guest:Did he ask you about it?

00:54:14Guest:No.

00:54:15Guest:No.

00:54:16Guest:Lauren asked weird questions.

00:54:18Marc:I know he does.

00:54:18Guest:He doesn't ask regular questions.

00:54:20Guest:What did he ask you?

00:54:20Guest:He asked me if I dyed my hair.

00:54:23Guest:Uh-huh.

00:54:24Guest:Did he make you look him in the eye?

00:54:25Guest:No, I mean, he was nice.

00:54:27Guest:He wasn't mean or like, he just asked random questions.

00:54:31Guest:That's all.

00:54:32Guest:I mean, he was polite to me, and I thought we had pretty nice dialogue and stuff.

00:54:37Guest:And you were on the show for a year?

00:54:38Guest:Yeah.

00:54:39Guest:Why did that stop?

00:54:41Guest:Um...

00:54:42Guest:Never got a good answer, but I did have someone over there kind of talk to me about it because I Buy most people's account.

00:54:51Guest:I had a pretty good year.

00:54:52Marc:Yeah, you know, right.

00:54:53Guest:Yeah, you did a lot But I think what it was was this is what I was explained to me.

00:54:58Guest:I don't know if it's true or not.

00:55:00Guest:Yeah, take it all for what it's worth.

00:55:02Guest:Yeah But

00:55:08Guest:They had a big cast, 14, 15, and I was the only guy hired that year.

00:55:13Guest:Right.

00:55:14Guest:Usually, if you have a freshman class, you get three, four guys, gals.

00:55:18Guest:You kind of come in with a group of other people.

00:55:22Guest:You were just the one guy.

00:55:23Guest:I was one guy.

00:55:24Guest:One new guy hired that year.

00:55:25Guest:And it was an election year, which usually in election years, I think SNL gets a big ratings bump because people check back in with the show and they want to see how they're going to do the debates and all that stuff.

00:55:35Guest:And for whatever reason, I think 2004 was just a real shitty election.

00:55:39Guest:And I don't think people were really jazzed about it.

00:55:40Guest:So they didn't get quite the balance they wanted.

00:55:43Guest:So I think first one, or last one in, first one out.

00:55:45Guest:Yeah, so the Marine had to go.

00:55:47Marc:Marine had to go.

00:55:48Marc:But you'd done other stuff, right?

00:55:50Marc:I mean, it wasn't like you just didn't go out and come out of nowhere and do Saturday Night Live.

00:55:54Marc:What did you do before that?

00:55:55Marc:Weren't you doing bits, sketches on Conan?

00:55:57Marc:Yes, yeah.

00:55:58Guest:I was very fortunate because the casting director for Conan O'Brien would come down and went to the UCB and see us do shows.

00:56:03Guest:Sure, yeah, yeah.

00:56:04Guest:And so I got invited to do a bunch of bits on Conan.

00:56:06Guest:And I never got to do stand-up on Conan, but I would go do any bit.

00:56:12Guest:I was always a security guard for him.

00:56:14Guest:Or I'd play Tarzan or man in the audience.

00:56:16Guest:The big guy.

00:56:17Guest:Yeah, big guy or some jerk.

00:56:19Guest:Yeah, whatever.

00:56:19Guest:And there were always fun little bits.

00:56:22Guest:And so anyway, but that happened before SNL.

00:56:25Guest:Then I did SNL, which was a dream come true.

00:56:27Guest:I have no regrets about it.

00:56:29Guest:I mean, and it might have been the best case scenario.

00:56:32Guest:Get in, get out.

00:56:33Marc:Sure.

00:56:33Guest:So I just love it.

00:56:35Guest:It's broken some people.

00:56:36Guest:Yeah.

00:56:37Guest:It's a lot of people.

00:56:38Guest:I still talk to some people who were on the show that can't let it go.

00:56:41Guest:They're just.

00:56:41Marc:Oh, really?

00:56:42Guest:They talk about it like it's Nam?

00:56:43Guest:Yeah.

00:56:44Guest:Yeah.

00:56:44Guest:No kidding.

00:56:45Guest:I'm like, move on.

00:56:47Guest:It's all right, man.

00:56:48Guest:And yeah, that's the thing about show business, too.

00:56:49Guest:Like, I was so naive.

00:56:51Guest:I didn't know anything.

00:56:52Guest:I was very green.

00:56:53Guest:And so when I got on SNL, it's one of those things where you're like, ba-boom, done and done.

00:57:00Guest:Now I just sit back and let it all happen.

00:57:03Guest:And what you realize when you get shit canned is, oh, this show business is not, there's no finish line.

00:57:12Guest:You go from gig to gig.

00:57:14Guest:That's all you do.

00:57:14Guest:And if you get a good gig, you hope you do it for a while.

00:57:16Marc:Yeah, you have to stash a little cash enough to get you the next gig.

00:57:19Guest:Exactly.

00:57:20Guest:But if you choose a live show business,

00:57:23Guest:If you're getting into it for any other reason than love of acting or love of comedy, it's a fool's errand.

00:57:29Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:57:30Marc:And that's because there's no quitting with you.

00:57:32Yeah.

00:57:34Guest:So when you got canned from Saturday Night Live, you didn't even think.

00:57:37Guest:Honestly, that night, I remember I got the call and they said, they're not going to pick up your contract.

00:57:41Guest:And I was like, it hurt.

00:57:43Guest:I'm not going to lie.

00:57:45Guest:All those feelings of self-doubt and this, that, and the other.

00:57:47Guest:Back to the UCB.

00:57:48Guest:It's over.

00:57:49Guest:Oh, God.

00:57:50Guest:And the embarrassment.

00:57:51Guest:Oh, da, da, da.

00:57:52Guest:Embarrassment.

00:57:53Guest:Yeah, I was embarrassed because I could have, in my mind, I feel like I could have done better.

00:57:59Guest:I could have done some things different.

00:58:02Marc:Isn't that interesting?

00:58:03Marc:Because I feel that too, and I think that when you talk about outside of your life,

00:58:07Marc:That stand up wasn't for you.

00:58:09Marc:Yeah, that that one of the reasons we do this is it's to control embarrassment.

00:58:15Marc:It's to fight off embarrassment.

00:58:17Marc:Like if we're if we can make people laugh in that moment, we're not embarrassed.

00:58:21Marc:We're winning.

00:58:22Marc:Yes.

00:58:22Marc:But that moment that they're not laughing or that moment where you're like, you don't have control over your comedy.

00:58:27Marc:That flop sweat.

00:58:28Guest:Fuck, dude.

00:58:29Marc:Oh, it's a lonely, cold feeling.

00:58:30Marc:That's the fear.

00:58:32Marc:I mean, you could be up in the mountains of Afghanistan.

00:58:35Marc:You're not going to be like, am I okay?

00:58:37Marc:Do I look all right?

00:58:38Guest:Everybody love me?

00:58:38Guest:Yeah.

00:58:40Marc:Everybody good?

00:58:41Marc:No?

00:58:41Marc:No, but the other thing, huh?

00:58:43Marc:Holy fuck.

00:58:44Marc:See, you felt embarrassed.

00:58:45Guest:Yeah, I was just, well, and I was disappointed in myself a little bit.

00:58:48Marc:It's a public thing.

00:58:49Marc:It is a public thing.

00:58:50Guest:You know, a lot of people, you know, it's a high profile thing, you know.

00:58:52Guest:Yeah.

00:58:53Guest:And it was my first thing, my first real thing.

00:58:55Marc:So what did you summon up in yourself to carry on?

00:58:58Marc:Give me some Marine tips.

00:59:00Guest:Well, I just, it's the conversation.

00:59:01Guest:It's the self-talk.

00:59:03Guest:It really is.

00:59:03Guest:I immediately got off the phone, sat there, felt sorry for myself for about 30 minutes.

00:59:09Guest:Holy shit, I made a career out of that for six years.

00:59:13Guest:But then after that, you start asking yourself questions.

00:59:15Guest:What are you going to do now?

00:59:16Guest:What's it going to be?

00:59:17Guest:What are you going to do?

00:59:18Guest:Because if you take it, then what are you?

00:59:23Guest:It sounds like a locker room pump-up talk, but you do.

00:59:28Guest:You have that conversation where you're like,

00:59:30Guest:All right, let's go.

00:59:32Guest:What's the next thing?

00:59:32Guest:We got to get into it.

00:59:33Guest:We got to do this.

00:59:35Guest:You're working on a script.

00:59:36Guest:Finish that script.

00:59:37Guest:Let's set a date to finish it.

00:59:38Marc:This is you talking out loud to yourself.

00:59:40Marc:Absolutely.

00:59:40Guest:I'm going to finish that script before September 1st.

00:59:43Guest:Done and done.

00:59:44Guest:Got it.

00:59:45Guest:That is a lock.

00:59:45Guest:That is going to happen.

00:59:47Guest:And then I'm going to shop that around.

00:59:48Guest:And now I need to get out to California because when I got the information, I was in Kansas.

00:59:52Guest:And I got to get out to California because I got to go set up some pitch meetings because I'm going to write a sitcom.

00:59:57Guest:And then...

00:59:58Guest:And you did all those things?

01:00:00Guest:Yeah, absolutely.

01:00:01Guest:You start thinking about it.

01:00:02Guest:And then I was lucky enough to audition for The Daily Show.

01:00:06Marc:Yeah.

01:00:07Guest:And I got it.

01:00:08Guest:Yeah, and that was your big break.

01:00:09Guest:I think that was because that allowed me to be myself more.

01:00:14Guest:Yeah.

01:00:14Guest:and gave me a nice platform, and John was wonderful to me, and I grew.

01:00:20Marc:I didn't, I didn't.

01:00:21Marc:When you kind of got that intense thing that you do, you found your comic kind of voice.

01:00:25Marc:Yeah, a little bit.

01:00:26Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:00:27Guest:And it was nice because I wasn't living in fear.

01:00:31Guest:John was very supportive.

01:00:33Guest:And if I failed, I didn't feel like I was going to be fired.

01:00:36Guest:Right.

01:00:36Guest:And if I failed, I failed, and I felt bad, and I would ask myself, how do I not do that again?

01:00:41Marc:i never thought how do i keep my job right well you knew it was just between you and john i think that when you're when you get into a machine like snl you're like sort of like where did it come from what you know why me yeah you know what were the politics involved and you can only speculate but i think john was probably straight with you yeah he absolutely was and uh i forgot to ask you did you play sports too i did and then you were in a fraternity uh i was huh

01:01:07Guest:I know, I know.

01:01:08Guest:No, no, no.

01:01:08Guest:It's right down the line, man.

01:01:10Guest:It is.

01:01:10Marc:I'm from Kansas.

01:01:12Guest:I'm a big white guy from Kansas who played football and was in a fraternity.

01:01:16Guest:But you were never a bully?

01:01:18Guest:I honestly never was.

01:01:19Marc:Because I'm not getting that.

01:01:20Marc:Because I'm solving a big problem in my life right now.

01:01:24Marc:Because I just assume that you and what you represent outside the military service was the enemy.

01:01:31Guest:Oh, I get it.

01:01:32Guest:I get it.

01:01:32Guest:You want to know why I get it?

01:01:33Marc:Why?

01:01:33Marc:Because I spent my... Right there you should have said, because you're a pussy.

01:01:39Guest:And then just come over and just nuggie.

01:01:40Guest:Just hardcore wedgie and nuggie.

01:01:43Guest:You were a little baby.

01:01:45Marc:No.

01:01:45Guest:I was a late bloomer.

01:01:48Guest:And when I say late, I didn't go through puberty until my sophomore year in high school.

01:01:53Marc:Oh, really?

01:01:55Marc:Late bloomer.

01:01:56Marc:That's wild.

01:01:57Marc:And you were flying by your junior year of high school?

01:02:01Marc:Were you in a plane?

01:02:01Marc:No, no.

01:02:03Marc:Oh, first year of college.

01:02:05Marc:Yeah, it was my first year of college.

01:02:06Marc:Making up for that time.

01:02:07Guest:But it was the summer between my freshman and sophomore year when I hit puberty.

01:02:15Guest:So my entire junior high existence, I was running for my life.

01:02:20Guest:people girls could beat me up and they would try and you were laughed at in the locker room i was laughed at in the locker room because i had a bald eagle yeah and we had managed we had mandatory shower days that i used to get sick on yeah i would run in fear i mean all the guys were getting bigger than me so all of a sudden my sports prowess was i didn't have any um i i literally was running for my life and when i say that i mean it i uh because you know

01:02:47Guest:when I was in ninth grade, like seventh graders that had gone through puberty that were like man-child, you know, they'd be like, fuck you, Riggle.

01:02:56Guest:And I'd have to take it.

01:02:57Guest:I'd have to take it because I knew I couldn't do anything about it.

01:03:00Guest:And I remember there was this girl who was this girl, she was a roughneck girl, kind of a, we called them druggers back then.

01:03:06Guest:And she was just kind of rough and just awful.

01:03:09Guest:And she would grab guys and like muscle them up against the wall and stuff.

01:03:14Guest:And

01:03:15Guest:I was afraid of her because I knew that and it's the shame of if she Muscles me in any way I have to take it or fighter and if I fight her there's a real good chance I could lose and I saw I avoided her like the plague and

01:03:31Guest:And she would see me between lunch.

01:03:33Guest:After lunch, we all had to wait before they would release us back to class.

01:03:35Guest:Fear in your eyes.

01:03:36Guest:And she'd be like, where's Riggle?

01:03:38Guest:She'd bark out things like that.

01:03:39Guest:And I would hide in the boys' restroom.

01:03:41Guest:I mean, like, I lived a life of fear for a long time.

01:03:44Guest:So when I finally hit puberty.

01:03:46Guest:Thank God.

01:03:47Guest:And I finally got, started to grow and get some size or whatever.

01:03:52Guest:Never once did it ever occur to me to be mean to anybody.

01:03:57Guest:You know like I would never just didn't want to feel the fear again I didn't want to put that on anybody.

01:04:01Guest:Yeah, I would never put that on anybody Good story now.

01:04:05Guest:I did get in fights, but they were usually equally matched fights.

01:04:08Marc:You know what I mean later after pretty yeah Yeah, like drunken fights or drunken.

01:04:13Marc:You're one of those guys.

01:04:14Guest:No, no, no, no, not not not I'm sorry.

01:04:16Guest:I keep trying to put put you in a box I think everybody's had an experience where they've gotten drunk and have been like man I

01:04:22Guest:what and so it's like that and uh but you didn't go out seeking fights with oh god no no no no but you can fight if yeah i mean it's you don't want to you know yeah but i get it yeah but i i could defend myself and uh so no that's why i would never put that on people and it's so funny that you mentioned that though because i do notice a lot of times a lot of the comedy writers that i work with yeah

01:04:50Guest:have a almost instantaneous I got you sized up right I know I know who you are you're the enemy I know who you are and I know what you're about yeah and usually it takes right we've been fighting for centuries right and it takes about six months and then they and then the walls are down and it's always worth six months well whatever yeah it takes time yeah it takes time getting to to to get them to relax but you don't try you just be yourself exactly right

01:05:17Guest:But I sometimes bend, not bend over backwards, but go out of my way to let them know it's safe.

01:05:24Guest:I'm not here to do anything other than make good comedy with you.

01:05:27Marc:Yeah.

01:05:27Marc:And where was your first experience with that?

01:05:29Marc:Oh, there were a couple guys.

01:05:31Marc:I mean, you did Human Giant with... Oh, yeah, with Hugh Willan Shearer.

01:05:35Marc:Yeah.

01:05:36Guest:Yeah, but those are my bros.

01:05:37Guest:Right.

01:05:37Marc:I love those guys.

01:05:38Marc:We were on the same improv team for years.

01:05:40Marc:You're all pretty cocky.

01:05:42Marc:So where'd you come into contact with the group of writers?

01:05:45Guest:Oh, okay, Daily Show.

01:05:48Guest:There you go.

01:05:49Marc:All right.

01:05:49Guest:I mean, you know, those guys.

01:05:51Guest:Who let the jock in?

01:05:53Guest:Yeah, a lot of that.

01:05:53Guest:But at the same time, they're so wildly talented that all I wanted to do was work with them.

01:05:59Guest:I just wanted to work with them.

01:06:00Guest:And we all did.

01:06:02Guest:I mean, it all worked out.

01:06:03Guest:We all got along great, and we did work well together.

01:06:06Guest:But you can tell by the look in their eyes sometimes.

01:06:09Guest:They're like, hi.

01:06:10Marc:What do you do, kick my ass?

01:06:12Guest:I guess that's how it is.

01:06:13Guest:I didn't do anything.

01:06:16Guest:I really didn't.

01:06:18Guest:Please.

01:06:19Guest:You just remind them of everything.

01:06:20Marc:I think I do.

01:06:21Marc:Of course.

01:06:21Marc:I think I do remind them of bad times.

01:06:24Marc:So it's just funny.

01:06:25Marc:You are like a general funny man.

01:06:27Guest:Yeah, try.

01:06:28Marc:You do a little bit of everything.

01:06:29Marc:Yeah, try.

01:06:30Marc:Got the funnier die stuff.

01:06:31Marc:You got everything.

01:06:32Guest:And you know, stand-up.

01:06:32Guest:Going back to stand-up, though.

01:06:34Marc:We'll jump back there.

01:06:34Guest:Full circle.

01:06:35Guest:Full circle.

01:06:36Guest:When I was on The Daily Show, I shared an office with John Oliver.

01:06:39Guest:I love him, yeah.

01:06:40Guest:For three years, we shared an office.

01:06:41Guest:Yeah, yeah.

01:06:41Guest:He's very funny.

01:06:42Guest:And we did nonstop bits the whole time.

01:06:45Guest:I mean, to the point where his office, we would sit this close, as close as you and I are right now.

01:06:50Guest:And I would pick up the phone and call him.

01:06:51Guest:Yeah.

01:06:52Guest:And pretend to be somebody.

01:06:53Guest:And he would play the bit with me.

01:06:55Guest:I mean, we do this nonstop.

01:06:56Guest:Right.

01:06:56Guest:Well, eventually, and he would come down and see me do improv at the UCB.

01:07:00Guest:And I dragged him up a couple times and made him, you know, and he did it.

01:07:03Guest:Yeah.

01:07:03Guest:And I was so proud of him.

01:07:04Guest:Yeah.

01:07:04Guest:Because, you know, it's not his world.

01:07:05Guest:Yeah.

01:07:06Guest:But he did great because he's funny and he knows a bit.

01:07:09Guest:Yeah.

01:07:11Guest:So then he put it back on me.

01:07:12Guest:Oh, really?

01:07:13Guest:Yeah.

01:07:13Guest:He's like, you got to do stand-up.

01:07:15Guest:Uh-huh.

01:07:15Guest:And I was like, ah, you know, I don't know.

01:07:17Guest:Makes me sweat.

01:07:18Guest:Yeah.

01:07:18Guest:And hate.

01:07:19Guest:Yeah, exactly.

01:07:20Guest:And he goes, tough.

01:07:20Guest:He goes, you want to be a comedian?

01:07:23Guest:You got to be a comedian.

01:07:24Guest:Oh, good for him.

01:07:24Guest:And he put it on me and...

01:07:26Guest:And I kind of liked the challenge.

01:07:27Guest:So I was like, all right, game on.

01:07:29Guest:So I just started going down the piano room, the slipper room, UCB hump nights, any place that would give me five minutes.

01:07:37Guest:And I'd get up and I would do, but I would do it my way, which was storytelling.

01:07:41Guest:Right.

01:07:41Guest:And it felt so much better this time around.

01:07:44Guest:And maybe I had a little more confidence from being on stage at UCB.

01:07:46Guest:So just the stage ability.

01:07:48Guest:Yeah, on SNL, The Daily Show.

01:07:49Marc:Yeah, you probably have a little confidence.

01:07:50Guest:Well, just a little more.

01:07:51Guest:And so I did.

01:07:55Guest:I just went and did five minutes here, five minutes here, tweak it, tweak it, tweak it.

01:07:58Guest:And eventually I built a set.

01:08:01Guest:I got 60 minutes.

01:08:02Guest:And now I go out and do stand-up, and I love it.

01:08:05Guest:I absolutely love it.

01:08:06Marc:And people come, they know you.

01:08:07Marc:People come, they come.

01:08:08Guest:Yeah, I do pretty well.

01:08:10Marc:I mean, it works out.

01:08:11Guest:Yeah, it's good.

01:08:12Guest:I remember, though, Louis Black, when I was just starting out doing this, you know?

01:08:15Guest:Yeah.

01:08:16Guest:Louis would be outside of the Daily Show when he would come, and he'd be smoking or a cigarette or whatever, and I'd pop out to see him.

01:08:22Guest:You're like the anti-Louis.

01:08:23Guest:Yeah.

01:08:23Guest:Well, he was Lewis and he's one of my idols.

01:08:25Guest:So I was like, anytime he was around, I'd go hit him up for a conversation or just be around him.

01:08:29Marc:I don't know.

01:08:30Marc:He's a very sweet guy.

01:08:30Marc:He is.

01:08:31Guest:And so I went out one time and I said, hey, Lewis, you know, I'm working on my standup, you know?

01:08:36Guest:And he goes, oh, that's great.

01:08:38Guest:I go, yeah, yeah, I'm up to 30 minutes.

01:08:41Guest:And he goes, he took a long drag and just looked at me.

01:08:43Guest:He goes, you got seven.

01:08:45Yeah.

01:08:47Guest:And he was totally right.

01:08:49Guest:I had probably seven good minutes out of the 30.

01:08:52Guest:And I was like, that's classic.

01:08:54Marc:That's beautiful.

01:08:55Marc:So yeah, do you usually tour by yourself or what?

01:08:59Guest:Usually, every now and then, the Daily Show guys will get together.

01:09:03Marc:Sure, that's right.

01:09:04Guest:Rory Albanese and John Oliver and myself.

01:09:06Guest:JR Haviland or no?

01:09:07Marc:JR, yeah, JR.

01:09:08Guest:And we'll go out and we'll do some gigs.

01:09:11Marc:That's great, man.

01:09:12Guest:And what are you working on now?

01:09:13Guest:I'm shooting a movie down in New Orleans.

01:09:16Guest:Big part?

01:09:18Guest:Decent part.

01:09:18Marc:Yeah.

01:09:18Guest:Pretty decent part.

01:09:20Guest:It's 21 Jump Street is the movie.

01:09:23Guest:They're making the movie.

01:09:24Guest:Okay.

01:09:24Guest:And it's going to be a lot of fun.

01:09:26Marc:All right, man.

01:09:26Marc:Well, Rob, it was great talking to you.

01:09:28Guest:Oh, thanks for having me.

01:09:29Guest:I've listened to your podcast for a long time, so it was an honor to be here.

01:09:33Marc:Oh, that's very sweet.

01:09:33Marc:All right.

01:09:34Guest:Well, I'm glad we did it.

01:09:35Guest:All right, man.

01:09:39All right.

01:09:41Marc:Okay, that's our show, folks.

01:09:42Marc:I hope you enjoyed that.

01:09:43Marc:What a good guy.

01:09:44Marc:Good guy.

01:09:45Marc:Funny guy.

01:09:45Marc:Solid guy.

01:09:47Marc:Grounded.

01:09:48Marc:Knows who he is and where he is.

01:09:49Marc:Made some definite sacrifices.

01:09:54Marc:He was definitely self-sacrificing.

01:09:56Marc:And now he's still self-sacrificing.

01:09:59Marc:He's being funny.

01:10:00Marc:You can't underestimate the power of that.

01:10:03Marc:So go to WTFPod.com for all your WTF needs.

01:10:06Marc:Get an app.

01:10:08Marc:Get some of those premium episodes.

01:10:09Marc:Get some of the new shirts.

01:10:12Marc:You know, post some comments.

01:10:14Marc:Do whatever you want there.

01:10:15Marc:There's a lot of stuff, and I'm on top of it.

01:10:17Marc:So get on the mailing list.

01:10:18Marc:I do that every week.

01:10:20Marc:Wow, how about some Just Coffee?

01:10:21Marc:I'm sweating here.

01:10:24Marc:Pow!

01:10:25Marc:Whoa!

01:10:26Marc:Did I just shit my pants?

01:10:27Marc:Yes, I did.

01:10:28Marc:And that's just coffee.coop.

01:10:32Marc:That's it.

01:10:34Marc:Talk to you soon.

01:10:36Marc:Right?

01:10:37Marc:Okay.