Episode 186 - Jimmy Fallon
Guest:Lock the gates!
Guest:Are we doing this?
Guest:Really?
Guest:Wait for it.
Guest:Are we doing this?
Guest:Wait for it.
Guest:Pow!
Guest:What the fuck?
Guest:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?
Guest:What's wrong with me?
Guest:It's time for WTF!
Guest:What the fuck?
Guest:With Marc Maron.
Marc:All right, let's do this.
Marc:How are you, what the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fuckineers?
Marc:What the fuck nicks?
Marc:I am Mark Maron.
Marc:This is WTF.
Marc:I'm outside.
Marc:I'm walking in the streets of New York City.
Marc:I've been here before, on and off of my life quite a bit.
Marc:Used to live here, as some of you know that.
Marc:I'm up in the... Just walking off the Times Square area down 49th Street, past a favorite pizza place of mine.
Marc:I'm now walking by...
Marc:Like every place in this city has like weird memory triggers for me.
Marc:Like this is a serious building, right?
Marc:This is where, okay, I've done radio shows here.
Marc:And we're actually headed towards 30 Rock because I'm going to interview Jimmy Fallon.
Marc:Now, of course, I've been to 30 Rock plenty.
Marc:I've done Conan O'Brien a lot of times.
Marc:Back in the day, different haircuts, different pants, occasionally the same pants, once or twice same shirt, different eyeglass frames, facial hair configurations.
Marc:But I've definitely spent a lot of time taking expensive limos from down the street to this place before I realized, I don't need to take a car, dude.
Marc:I'll just take the subway and then I have to be stuck in traffic in a fancy car.
Marc:That's besides the point.
Marc:I'm going to interview Jimmy Fallon.
Marc:I don't know Fallon that well.
Marc:I don't think I've ever met him.
Marc:Sorry about the wind, but we're outdoors here.
Marc:I don't think I've ever met Jimmy Fallon.
Marc:I don't know if he listens to the show.
Marc:I'm excited that he wants to do the show, but I'm a little nervous, because he seems like a very well-adjusted guy, seems like a friendly guy, seems like a guy who's had a very charmed career.
Marc:And he seems to be having a good time, so I don't want to buzzkill.
Marc:I don't want to go in there and be like, dude, you've got to be fucked up somehow.
Marc:Well, we do share some things.
Marc:We like the Rolling Stones.
Marc:He got to hang out with Mick and Keith, which I find exciting.
Marc:Jessica's been singing this song all day.
Marc:I'm an idiot, I'm your boyfriend, which I believe is taken from a Rolling Stones song.
Marc:Worried about you, I believe.
Marc:Look, there's a sign.
Marc:See where it says NBC Studios?
Marc:Isn't that great looking?
Marc:There's Radio City Music Hall.
Marc:There's the guy that sells that horrible meat.
Marc:Yeah, we'll cross.
Marc:Look at that meat on that.
Marc:Who would eat that?
Marc:It looks like whole chicken pieces just chopped up with some Middle Eastern sauce on it.
Marc:Isn't New York great?
Marc:Look, there's a cupcake place.
Marc:That's some high-end cupcakes.
Marc:But Rockefeller Center is such a great building.
Marc:Look at all the reliefs and the murals on the other side.
Marc:That gold statue of that guy laying down that you see on the beginning of 30 Rock and SNL.
Marc:I used to love coming up here.
Marc:It was very exciting.
Marc:It's like doing real television.
Marc:Now we're going to have to go through some security thing.
Marc:Hey, maybe we'll get a pat down.
Marc:But it's very exciting.
Marc:They got the big Diego Rivera murals, and then there's some murals on the inside.
Marc:It's a beautiful fucking building.
Marc:Art Deco Paradise.
Marc:I just love that sign that says NBC Studios because it looks like it's been there since like 1940.
Marc:Like a classic sign.
Marc:It's also a little heartbreaking for me, too, because I used to do this show with Conan all the time, and I met with Lorne Michaels once.
Marc:But, you know, never happened for me up there.
Marc:Did you see that guy just walk by and yell into the mic?
Marc:Why do people feel like they have to do that?
Marc:I didn't hear what he said.
Marc:Look at all these people at the NBC shop.
Marc:Let's go into the building.
Marc:I'm kind of tempted to keep recording so they'll tell me I can't record anymore so I can say, you don't understand, I'm going up to interview Jimmy Fallon.
Marc:I just have to be careful not to call him Jimmy Kimmel.
Marc:I've got that in my head that that's a possibility.
Marc:Oh, look at that.
Marc:Rainbow Room, Observation Deck, NBC Studios.
Marc:So exciting.
Marc:There's a double-decker tour bus, gray line.
Marc:How are you folks?
Marc:Guy with a mic on the street, nice to see you.
Marc:They used to come down and meet me, take me up to the elevator.
Marc:Go to the redressing room.
Marc:I'm not going to get nostalgic.
Marc:Let's go talk to Jimmy.
Guest:This show is fantastic.
Guest:I listen on my phone.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:You got the app?
Guest:Yeah, I got the app.
Guest:Oh, you got my face on your phone?
Guest:Your face is on my phone.
Guest:This is my third phone your face has been on.
Guest:It's a great app.
Guest:I love it, too.
Guest:Even if I get an email in the middle, I go back and it goes, do you want to resume from where you left off?
Marc:Sure.
Guest:This is unbelievable.
Guest:And then it's me
Guest:complaining again.
Guest:No, but it's so good.
Guest:It's a great, great, great show.
Guest:Oh, thanks, man.
Guest:The Dane Cook one was great.
Guest:I just heard the Gallagher one was great.
Marc:Were you friends with Dane?
Marc:For some reason, I thought you started in Boston, but you didn't.
Marc:No.
Marc:A lot of people think I'm from Boston.
Guest:I'm from New York.
Guest:Because I did so much Boston stuff.
Guest:I did a...
Guest:On Saturday Night Live, I did these Boston characters that love Boston, and then I did a movie about a guy who loves the Red Sox.
Marc:Right.
Marc:What was that movie called?
Marc:Fever Pitch.
Marc:Oh, Fever Pitch.
Marc:Not the cab movie.
Marc:No, that's Taxi.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Or it's also known as the cab movie as well.
Guest:They're under two titles.
Guest:It was released twice.
Guest:They tried it twice.
Guest:Didn't work either time.
Guest:Didn't work, no.
Guest:The cab movie didn't, they thought that would be catchier.
Guest:They go, people will understand what it's more about.
Marc:Taxi's too complicated.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:Let's talk about the cab movie.
Marc:The reason I remember that is I read for it.
Marc:I read for one of those, you know, the comedian parts where you just basically go, hey, what are you doing?
Marc:Yeah, get out of the way.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, that's good.
Marc:One of those parts.
Guest:Patton Oswalt was in, he was in the cab movie.
Marc:We were in Almost Famous together.
Marc:I knew this.
Marc:Now, where are you?
Marc:Are you on the bus?
Marc:I actually referred to you.
Marc:Like, I was the angry promoter that said, you know, lock the gates.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:And they crash through the.
Marc:I love that.
Marc:I'm chasing the bus up with the little golf cart.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And I mentioned your name.
Marc:Like, you know, I'm going to tell so and so.
Marc:And then you sort of show up.
Marc:You become that guy.
Marc:So we actually were connected.
Marc:How fun was that?
Marc:Did you enjoy that?
Marc:Sure.
Marc:It was the greatest two minutes of cinema I've ever experienced.
Guest:Sometimes the two-minute things are the one, though.
Marc:Yeah, no.
Guest:I thought it was great.
Guest:I had two minutes in the Woody Allen movie.
Guest:You did?
Guest:It was called Anything Else.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was Jason Biggs and Christina Ricci.
Guest:They also called it the cab movie.
Marc:Yeah, the cab movie.
Marc:It didn't work either with that one.
Marc:Originally, it was Taxi.
Guest:Yeah, it was called Anything Else, and now it was called.
Guest:But it was Woody and...
Guest:I was doing the scene, and I remember I was just so hot and I was sweating.
Guest:We're in an Indian restaurant, and I just wanted some direction from Woody Allen, just so I can say that.
Guest:Because he wasn't telling me to do anything.
Guest:So he came over, and I talked to Christina or Jason.
Guest:They were the stars.
Guest:And I go, is there anything I'm doing wrong?
Guest:Is there anything I could do different?
Guest:He goes, no, just don't sweat.
Guest:that's exactly what you want and then he hit his head on this lamp yeah behind him and he got out of the way and then he he went down and talked to somebody else and he hit his head on another and goes i'm gonna hit every lamp for symmetry i swear it was like that is the exact what i wanted i'm like i'm so happy he talked and said something then i saw him the next day yeah on houston in new york state just walking he was filming another scene but i wasn't in it i only had two minutes so i saw him go i'm eating a slice of pizza and i go
Guest:Hey Woody, what's going on?
Guest:And he backed into a brick wall like I was going to mug him or something.
Guest:He was like, he just backed.
Guest:It was really, it was awful.
Guest:And I was like, what?
Guest:And I thought I did something wrong.
Guest:So I go, okay, later I just walked away and I called my agent.
Guest:I go, was I awful?
Guest:In this movie, he looked like he still wanted no part of me.
Guest:And he was kind of talking a little bit.
Guest:I was born in Brooklyn and all this stuff.
Guest:And we were talking about that on the movie.
Guest:But this thing was like, the next actual day, he wanted nothing to do with me.
Marc:So your last experience was him backing against a brick wall?
Marc:He backed against a brick wall like I was holding a gun.
Marc:I thought he was going to do a callback to the lamps.
Guest:I'm going to touch every brick wall.
Guest:No, not at all.
Guest:He was just like, dude, I'm busy now.
Guest:I'm over you.
Guest:I dealt with you yesterday.
Guest:That couldn't have been it.
Marc:I think he's just an interesting guy that doesn't like to talk.
Marc:He's not that outgoing.
Marc:I heard that when he directs, he just lets people sort of just do it.
Guest:No, the best, I mean, that was one of the easiest movies I worked on.
Marc:Did you have a lot of lines or was it before you, was it like one of your first things?
Guest:One of my first things, I did Almost Famous Then This One.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I had like a couple lines.
Guest:I mean, I had like maybe 10, 15 lines.
Guest:And he was sort of hands off aside from the sweating thing?
Guest:Yeah, totally.
Guest:Super hands off.
Guest:Well, you get the script that day, that morning, and you got to just learn your lines that day.
Marc:Are you serious?
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:He casts you, and then you get your script that morning?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No, you don't see the script.
Guest:Yeah, it's a fascinating thing.
Guest:He casts you in this old place where he cuts his movies.
Guest:He still cuts them with a blade and tapes them together.
Guest:That's how he cuts his movies.
Guest:Still.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, he did when I did this movie.
Guest:So I met him there, and he goes,
Guest:Just come in.
Guest:Just act like you're saying hello to an old friend.
Guest:And he cupped around his eyes like this.
Guest:And I walked in and I go, hey, what's happening?
Guest:Whatever I did.
Guest:I like, do just that.
Guest:That's great.
Guest:Do that.
Guest:And I go, oh, my God, that's no way they got it, right?
Guest:He's just being nice to me.
Guest:And I left, and they go, he loves you.
Guest:It's great.
Guest:So I'll see you on this date.
Guest:They go, do I script?
Guest:They go, nope, you get the script that day.
Guest:I go, all right.
Guest:I don't even think I had a trailer.
Guest:You just want to show up?
Guest:I might have had a trailer.
Guest:A chair?
Guest:Do you have a chair?
Guest:There might have been like a bucket turned upside down.
Guest:A milk crate.
Marc:A milk crate.
Guest:I sat on that.
Guest:I played it for a little drum.
Guest:But I remember, like, lunch, you have to be out by...
Guest:5.30 is when the day ends because he wants to make it to the Knick game.
Guest:I know that.
Guest:But then also lunch happens.
Guest:There's no catering.
Guest:So lunch to go, all right, see you in an hour.
Guest:Really?
Guest:That's it.
Guest:And I'm like, okay.
Guest:So I went, again, got pizza.
Guest:Again, I was in this pizza phase.
Guest:And I went and got pizza and came back an hour later and was ready to go again for the scene.
Guest:And that was it.
Guest:That's the way he works.
Marc:Well, I mean, he seems like one of those guys that just needs to keep making movies no matter what, whether they're good or bad or whether people like him or not, it doesn't matter.
Marc:He's just this working guy.
Guest:Yeah, I mean, I don't even know if he thought he'd make this many movies.
Marc:I don't think so.
Marc:I mean, I think he just keeps going.
Marc:Like, I think it's how some of those guys feel alive.
Marc:I mean, it's like you were dealing with, I'm so envious of you because I'm a huge Stones guy.
Marc:And I'm looking around your room, your office here, and I feel like we have a lot in common for some reason.
Marc:I mean, I do.
Marc:You have Buddy Holly.
Marc:Buddy Holly in a stained glass.
Marc:But that's like, did you have that consignment too?
Guest:No, that's actually from Neil Brennan.
Guest:That's from, do you know Neil?
Guest:Of course, yeah.
Guest:So that's from Neil Brennan.
Guest:Neil Brennan was dating a girl and we were just talking about Buddy Holly and I said, that's why I love Buddy Holly.
Guest:He goes, oh my God, are you serious or are you lying to me?
Guest:I go, no, I love Buddy Holly.
Guest:He goes,
Guest:Well, then I have something for you because my new girlfriend said, there's no way we can keep this in the living room.
Guest:It's a giant stained glass thing.
Guest:With Buddy Holly right in the center.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But how did you find out?
Marc:Because when I was a kid, my father loved Buddy Holly.
Marc:And so he plowed it into my head.
Guest:Me too.
Guest:Really?
Guest:I think that's what it is.
Guest:But my parents had a record album called Buddy Holly Lives.
Marc:We had the golden hits or something.
Marc:Yeah, it was the greatest hits type of thing.
Guest:But I think it was spray paint on brick.
Guest:It said Buddy Holly Lives.
Marc:I remember that.
Marc:I remember that album.
Marc:It's like a double album.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So I started hearing that when I was like 11 or 12, like all of them over and over again because my dad was crazy for it.
Marc:That and the soundtrack of American Graffiti.
Marc:And so all that is plowed into my head.
Guest:My dad was really in a doo-wop.
Guest:They're both from Brooklyn.
Guest:My mom and dad are from Brooklyn.
Guest:My dad was really in a doo-wop.
Guest:My dad was also in Vietnam.
Guest:He was in the Navy in Vietnam.
Guest:And he used to sing doo-wop on the ship.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah, with a couple guys from the Navy.
Guest:They all get together and sing all these doo-wop songs.
Guest:We'd drink beers and listen to reel-to-reel tapes of him and his shipmates singing doo-wop and stuff.
Guest:And so I remember watching my first...
Guest:Vietnam war movie you know it's all Hendrix and the Doors and I'm like where's all the doo-wop yeah this is insane like where the doo-wop in the trenches yeah I mean where's like this is like this is like where's Dion and the Belmonts like I know this is what they really listen to in the real Vietnam right it turns out no my dad was just a nerd that doo-wop was way gone the doo-wop was gone in the 50s yeah I mean late early 60s doo-wop was finished by 64. so you're there were guys often your dad joins your dad's like I'll just drink this beer out of a bag
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:He's living in a... He's like, yeah, he's going to smoke a cigarette in his sleeve, rolled up in his sleeve.
Guest:I go, oh, wait, what?
Guest:So, Dad, nobody else was listening to doo-wop when you were singing?
Guest:He's like, well, I mean, certain people were.
Guest:It's still kind of around.
Guest:I'm like...
Guest:Oh, my gosh.
Guest:I thought it was the... I thought that was the Vietnam era.
Guest:I thought it was all due.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:I'm telling you.
Guest:He miswed you.
Guest:Yeah, and I think, you know, I think it was all the, you know, anti-war stuff didn't... You know, it kind of bled over, I think, to...
Marc:just psychedelic music in general.
Marc:Right, that whole scene, that whole, yeah, yeah, all the students' rebellions and then the music sort of played along with them.
Guest:We had a couple Beatles albums, stuff like that, but we didn't have any of that anti-war stuff or music in our home.
Marc:Well, I think there was also those soldiers that that resonated with, like with their feelings of frustration or whatever, and they kind of, but your dad was old school, I guess.
Guest:He was old school.
Guest:He was like, yeah, no, no, he didn't like those songs.
Marc:Was your dad drafted in or just, you don't know?
Marc:I think he volunteered.
Marc:Yeah?
Guest:I think so.
Guest:I think,
Marc:Did he see action?
Guest:Draft?
Guest:No.
Guest:No.
Guest:But he was like, you know, it was a tough time.
Guest:It was a lot of stuff going down.
Guest:He was a radar man on the USS Constellation and I think out of San Diego.
Guest:He told me one funny story because he used to sing doo-wop and also get in fights like in gangs in Brooklyn.
Guest:That's what people did when he grew up.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Irish Neighborhood?
Guest:Uh, yeah.
Guest:I'd say Irish, Irish-Italian neighborhood.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And so, uh, and maybe some Puerto Rican friends.
Marc:But you're pretty Irish, right?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Irish and German is who I am.
Guest:But I grew up with a bunch of partying and stuff like that.
Guest:But anyways, my dad had kind of a short temper, you know, as a kid.
Guest:And so he was in the Navy.
Guest:And I'll never forget, because we just had Fleet Week on our show when we invited all the, you know, servicemen and women to come to the show.
Guest:Because I remember the story.
Guest:My dad was a...
Guest:He wanted to grow a beard.
Guest:He just grew a beard.
Guest:And then whenever some lieutenant or something came up to him or whoever was in charge said, you can't grow a beard.
Guest:What's wrong with you?
Guest:You have to ask for permission.
Guest:And they did something to him.
Guest:They put him in some jail.
Guest:They did something to him.
Guest:Beard jail?
Guest:Beard jail.
Guest:Yeah, I heard of that.
Guest:It's also called the cab movie.
Guest:But Beer Jail sold more.
Guest:We sold more DVDs in Beer Jail than you'll ever say.
Guest:I think they're up to 14 sequels of that.
Guest:I think they're going to reissue Beer Jail.
Guest:They are.
Guest:I think someone's doing it on Broadway.
Guest:A director's cut.
Guest:Yeah, Beer Jail.
Guest:They're doing it live.
Guest:It's insane.
Guest:You've got to hear the music.
Guest:I can't wait.
Guest:But anyway, so he gets permission to finally grow this beard.
Guest:So he grows the beard.
Guest:And it's Fleet Week.
Guest:He's about to leave.
Guest:And they go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Guest:What are you trying to do?
Guest:He's like, what?
Guest:And they go, what is that in your face?
Guest:It's a beard.
Guest:I grew a beard.
Guest:And they go, that's an awful beard.
Guest:And he goes, well, I know.
Guest:We can't let you off the ship with that beard.
Guest:And he goes, well, I'll go shave.
Guest:And they go, you can't just shave.
Guest:You need permission to shave this beard.
Guest:They've got to be fucking with him.
Guest:Yeah, I think so.
Guest:So I think he had a nervous breakdown on the aircraft carrier, which I would have done the same thing.
Guest:Did he kick some ass?
Guest:No, I think he went to.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He probably went to hit this guy, you know, and then said, no, I'm not doing this.
Guest:This is insane.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:You're trying to drive me nuts.
Guest:Did he get off the ship?
Guest:no we stayed on the ship and went crazy so you get along is he still around yeah yeah and you guys are pals yeah yeah i talk to him all the time i talk to him once a day that's probably him calling right now really yeah is he still over in brooklyn where's he going no they moved to upstate when me and my sister were like two years old we all moved out of brooklyn so like when you stay short temper because my dad was sort of a nut too i mean like yeah
Guest:like you know all right you're constantly your whole childhood was like oh god what's gonna happen well he was the mean one i didn't really you know he didn't like hit everybody you know he didn't hit us or hit my mom or anything but like he was the guy like you did our mom was a softie yeah you know we could get away with stuff there's a lot of hiding behind mom yeah we go come on let's take care of it but my dad's like i'm gonna turn this thing around you know like that's everything but he wouldn't say it he would just do it and like step on the gas really quick like all right you guys want to go to the mall then
Guest:Then we're going to go to the mall.
Guest:Here we go.
Guest:Like, peel out and stuff.
Guest:We're crying in the backseat.
Guest:My mom's like, we shouldn't go to the mall now, right?
Guest:The kids are crying.
Guest:This is insane.
Guest:And he's like, oh, we're going to go.
Guest:We promised, right?
Guest:Everyone wants to go.
Guest:So let's go.
Guest:Let's do this.
Guest:Now you're going to have fun, right?
Guest:And we're just crying.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, I remember like fun things like that.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So, yeah, he wasn't.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But, you know, now we get along real well.
Marc:That's fucking great.
Marc:And your mom, too?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They're both.
Guest:They're both.
Guest:They should both be in insane asylums.
Guest:But, you know, I still I talk to them all the time.
Guest:My mom is just the number one embarrassing person to me.
Guest:I mean, my mom does that, too.
Guest:I mean, scenes.
Guest:The worst one is I go... Once I got on Saturday Night Live, she told everybody, he's on Saturday Night Live, he did this, did you see the baby on this?
Guest:She calls me the baby.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Still?
Guest:Yeah, I shave.
Marc:I mean, please.
Marc:How many subs do you got?
Guest:One sister, Gloria.
Guest:And she's older?
Marc:Yeah, one year older.
Marc:I mean, that doesn't make her feel good.
Marc:Yeah, I'm the baby.
Marc:This is the dumbest thing.
Guest:The baby did the cab movie.
Guest:The baby's like, don't call me the baby.
Guest:It's ridiculous.
Guest:So she goes, I go home to visit.
Guest:She goes, let's go out to dinner.
Guest:And I go...
Guest:I don't want to come home to go out.
Guest:I live in New York City.
Guest:You think there's a good restaurant in New York City?
Guest:I don't come to Saugerties to go out, but all right, if you want to go out to dinner, let's go out to dinner.
Guest:Just don't embarrass me.
Guest:Let's not do a big thing.
Guest:I hate to make a big splash.
Guest:When I go home to visit my friends, I just want to go and drive around.
Guest:I have maybe two or three friends there.
Guest:I'm friendly with everybody.
Guest:I don't make a big deal.
Guest:So she goes, all right.
Guest:So we find this place.
Guest:We pull in.
Guest:She goes, we sit down.
Guest:She goes, I don't like where I'm sitting.
Guest:I go, don't start.
Guest:Don't start this place.
Guest:So she goes, all right.
Guest:So she orders something like lamb chops or something crazy.
Guest:And I order what I'm having.
Guest:And everything comes.
Guest:Her meal comes last, which is now her temper is crazy.
Guest:She's like, I'm not going to eat this thing when it comes.
Guest:I don't care.
Guest:I go, don't make a scene.
Guest:I asked you not to.
Guest:Didn't I ask you not to make a scene?
Guest:She goes, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Finally, her thing comes.
Guest:I go, my dad goes, just have, just have, you know, my dad's like, he's a voice of reasons.
Guest:He goes, just have something.
Guest:So she eats this thing.
Guest:I'm not kidding.
Guest:She starts choking.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:On purpose?
Guest:No, I don't know.
Guest:Really?
Guest:She's really choking.
Guest:Knocking things over now, standing up.
Guest:A woman comes running over, starts giving my mom the Heimlich.
Guest:My dad's got his finger in her mouth, trying to pull something, food out of her mouth.
Guest:She's going like, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Guest:Like lifting my mom in the air.
Guest:A lamb ball flies out, hits the wall.
Guest:She's crying.
Guest:And we sit down.
Guest:She's crying.
Guest:Oh, my gosh.
Guest:And I go, thanks for not making the scene.
Guest:Thanks for not... Are you joking?
Guest:And my dad goes, let's just finish the dinner.
Guest:And everyone... I go, finish the dinner?
Guest:We're getting out of here.
Guest:We're buying that nurse a bottle of wine and we're getting out of here.
Guest:This is the worst experience.
Guest:I ask for the opposite of this.
Guest:I can't believe you would do this.
Guest:Well, at least you didn't die.
Ugh.
Guest:At one point, my dad was thinking about it.
Guest:He saw that nurse come over my dad and was like, hey, mind your own business.
Guest:If she wants to choke, you let her choke, right?
Guest:What's your problem?
Guest:Butt out.
Guest:Let nature take its course.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:That's what God wanted, right?
Guest:What are you butting in for it?
Guest:So I grew up with that type of, I think, very, you know, very funny people, but very like, you know, she just does these things like hilarious stuff.
Marc:Yeah, I can't.
Marc:I'm still trying to deal with the fact that I had to watch you, you know, hang out with the Stones because I.
Marc:You know, I am a big Stones fan and I just finished a Keith Richards autobiography and like, like I was a huge Keith Richards fan my whole fucking life, you know, and it's weird.
Marc:Like, I don't know what your experience was, what you're going to tell me, but but like I had this idea in my head since I was a little kid about what he is, you know, because if you love him, you're like, he's fucking rock and roll junkie, dude.
Marc:And then you read this book, you're like, holy fuck, he's smart.
Marc:You know, he's great storyteller.
Marc:He remembers almost everything like the myth and like Keith Richards in my mind just became even bigger and better.
Guest:It's amazing.
Guest:But the moment where... Where he came on.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I know.
Guest:I didn't even think... I was worthy.
Marc:You're a huge Stones fan, right?
Guest:Giant.
Guest:I'd say Rolling Stones is my band.
Marc:Rolling Stones, Beatles.
Marc:Right.
Marc:My girlfriend all day, like today in the hotel, she pulled up I'm an Idiot, I'm Your Boyfriend that you're showing.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And that's like... That's Worry About You.
Marc:It's like a Stones dance mix, right?
Guest:It is doing, yeah, like an emotional rescue type of voice.
Marc:Right, right, right.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Which is great.
Marc:I've all of a sudden became this new appreciator of mixed falsetto recently.
Marc:I've re... Oh, I love it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Sweet thing?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:The solo stuff?
Marc:I know.
Marc:It's just... Well, I don't know.
Marc:I'm like a little too much of a purist to really embrace the solo stuff.
Marc:But certainly on emotion.
Marc:Sweet thing I would do.
Marc:I like that one.
Marc:That's a good one.
Marc:This is like very falsetto.
Guest:In the beginning, when things were simple.
Marc:But it's good.
Marc:I think I condescended to it at some point.
Marc:I listened to it recently because I was reading the Keith Richards book.
Marc:I'm like, that's fucking great.
Marc:It's a great record.
Marc:How was it for you to meet Keith?
Guest:Well, the thing was, it was the Stones that were re-releasing Exile on Main Street with a documentary.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I remember, yeah.
Guest:So I went to a fashion show, no less.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I went to a fashion show, and Loren Scott is his girlfriend.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so I went up and saw Mick.
Guest:We did a sketch on Saturday Night Live once before, and I go, hey, what's going on?
Guest:How are you guys doing?
Guest:He goes, well, you know, I heard you got a show, you know, a talk show, and that's great.
Guest:You know, I hope it's going great.
Guest:And I go, if there's anything I can do, anything at all, let me know.
Guest:I'd love to do something.
Guest:He's like...
Guest:Well, you know, we do have a documentary coming out.
Guest:It's very good about, you know, exile and, you know, all stuff and what happened and how we got to make that.
Guest:And I'm like, yeah, I'm in.
Guest:Like, we'll stop right here.
Guest:Let's talk to you.
Guest:What are we going to talk to?
Guest:Like, I will do a whole week.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Dedicated to that.
Guest:And he's like, well, maybe we could work on something out where we'll play it, you know, or we'll do a primetime thing where you host or do something like that.
Guest:this is crazy, so I go immediately, Lauren Michaels is at the party, and I go, Lauren, I'd love to do this, what do we have to do?
Guest:So we start talking to them, then we talk to this another booker who goes, I'll work with Budweiser, see if I can get Budweiser on this, and we'll get, because we have no budget at 12.37 at night, or whenever it is, he goes, but if we can get all these, we get some bands just to do their favorite songs from Exile, and then Friday night,
Guest:just air the documentary and just watch it with a crowd.
Guest:It's never been done.
Guest:Like, why not?
Marc:It's like, well, it'll be fun.
Marc:And that's, that's interesting.
Marc:That's the way it came about because there was this moment in my mind.
Marc:I'm like, did Lauren wrangle this?
Marc:And it was all just, you running into Mick and just saying hi and whatever, offering a favor.
Guest:And as a fan, let's do a total fan freaking out.
Guest:So then,
Guest:So then I had no idea Keith Richards was going to want to do anything.
Marc:Or Charlie.
Marc:Yeah, because you don't even get the sense that they really hang out anymore.
Marc:It's some sort of chore.
Guest:In fact, I was there.
Guest:I actually went to a hotel room.
Guest:I can't believe I don't remember where they were staying.
Guest:But I went to their hotel room, to Keith's hotel room, just to talk to him about what bits I might want him to do.
Guest:We had like a pros and cons written up about the pros and cons of the record.
Guest:And then we have...
Guest:Charlie and doing a bit where he doesn't talk.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That always kills it.
Guest:If you see him live, you know Charlie Watts is the coolest man in rock and roll.
Guest:Yeah, with his suit.
Guest:He just cut to a man not talking and he gets the biggest round of applause.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I go, we have a couple of those.
Guest:He goes, yeah, anything with Charlie can just do that.
Guest:And then Keith was like, that sounds good.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he had a cigarette, and he'd go, here's what I'm thinking for you, if you don't mind.
Guest:I would say, ladies and gentlemen, here is one of the greatest guitarists of all time, Mr. Keith Richards.
Guest:Curtain opens, you walk out, you wave, and you just keep walking.
Guest:You leave.
Guest:You walk right past me.
Guest:He goes, I like that.
Guest:I like that.
Guest:That's great.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:That would be great.
Guest:I think that would be funny.
Guest:I'd love to do that.
Guest:So then Jane Rose is there, and she's like, you sure you want to do that, Keith?
Guest:I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's great.
Guest:He goes, in fact, let's just sit down and we'll talk.
Guest:We'll just have a quick chat.
Guest:She's like, no, Keith, this is a talk show.
Guest:He's like, I know what it is.
Guest:And Lauren was there, too.
Guest:And he's like, I think it'd be fun.
Guest:You and Jimmy just talk about whatever, and then we'll cut down.
Guest:It'll be fine.
Guest:He goes, oh.
Guest:Yeah, well, no, I don't care.
Guest:She's like, okay.
Guest:He's nervous?
Guest:Yeah, she's like, he would never say yes to this, so I don't know what this is, but let me get back to you guys this afternoon.
Guest:So I come back.
Marc:That's so funny.
Marc:I got pit stains.
Guest:I'm sweating like crazy.
Guest:I'm like, did he just... I mean, we hit it off.
Guest:Clearly, he saw that I wasn't going to do anything silly or try to pull something, which I think is...
Guest:As I'm doing the show, I'm realizing is what is good for our show and what gets us guests because they realize we're not going to pull anything.
Guest:Right.
Guest:For a stunt or ask about something.
Marc:You're actually doing what talk shows are supposed to do, which is make the guests look good.
Marc:Look good.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Right.
Guest:That's my goal.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's all they pay me to do.
Marc:Okay, so what happens?
Marc:So she's there worrying that Keith has just agreed to something.
Marc:It's so funny that he has somebody there to sort of second-guess him.
Marc:Like, you know, I don't know what just happened.
Marc:He seems to like you, and he's agreed to something.
Marc:Let me talk to him.
Marc:Yeah, let me see what he really means.
Guest:That seems weird.
Guest:So then we got a call back there.
Guest:She goes, he loves it.
Guest:He wants to do that, and he definitely wants to do the walking out and waving bit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then he'll sit down and talk to him.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I go, this is amazing.
Guest:And in the meantime, I was talking to Mick about anything we could do.
Guest:He goes, is there anything we could do for that?
Guest:So I said, well, you know, for his bit.
Guest:So I said, well, here's, you know, it's a whole week of Stone's songs, but we have to fill in with comedy bits and stuff.
Guest:And at the time, we were spoofing Lost.
Guest:It's one of my favorite shows.
Guest:So we were trying to do Desmond, the character Desmond from Lost, where he's just typing in the code.
Guest:You know, zero, whatever the numbers were.
Guest:If he doesn't type in the code, every minute 30, the world comes to an end.
Guest:That was the rumor of the show.
Guest:So I said, in this one, though, I want, maybe it's Mick going like,
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Come on.
Guest:All right.
Guest:We can do this.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Come on.
Guest:All right.
Guest:We can do this.
Guest:I go, and if he doesn't do that, every 10 seconds, the world comes to an end.
Guest:So first of all, Mick is going, he goes, right.
Guest:He was on the phone.
Guest:I pitched him a thousand ideas.
Guest:And he's like, right.
Guest:But what am I doing?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Come on.
Guest:All right.
Guest:What am I doing that?
Guest:I go, it's just like something you would do, like if you're on stage or something, when you're really into it.
Guest:Scream.
Guest:He's like,
Guest:He goes, well, I do like Lost.
Guest:Let me think about that.
Guest:I like that idea.
Guest:So cut to we're getting a jumpsuit with the Dharma Initiative thing from Mick Jagger.
Guest:And we're putting him in a room with a microphone where he has four different microphones.
Guest:He's doing, yeah, all right, come on, we can do this.
Guest:So that's happening as well as Keith coming on.
Guest:And it's the craziest thing.
Guest:And then Mick always, he's just the nicest.
Guest:These guys are...
Guest:Uber-duber unbelievable rock stars you just feel that you go like they invented it.
Guest:I can't hang with these guys Yeah, there's no way I can hang with them Yeah, but there's moments where you can hang where they just don't feel like doing that and there's like yeah So then we do that thing, you know, just and they're just chill talk.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So that's where I was like That's where I think I I get we hit it off because but did they invite you to like come on the road or anything like that?
Guest:I went back to a couple cool parties at Mick's hotel room.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Me and Billy Joe Armstrong and Mick played piano until like four or five in the morning, something like that.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Just like, yeah.
Guest:And I was like, because it was all Billy Joe, because he was like, he was like, come on, Mick, do something.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You got to play something.
Guest:Just give me a...
Guest:It makes like, oh, I don't want to.
Guest:I don't want to.
Guest:And I was just chugging gin tonics.
Guest:I was just so nervous.
Guest:And so then he played a brand new song.
Guest:And it sounded good.
Guest:And then I got on the piano drunk and played Blueberry Hill.
Guest:This is one of the only songs I know.
Guest:I don't know if I've learned it from Happy Days.
Guest:I think that's what Richie plays.
Guest:I found my dream.
Guest:That's another one I got from my dad.
Guest:Let me tell you.
Guest:fat sound is phenomenal so I play Mick starts singing Blueberry Hill with me so I'm like this is insane so already it's a win right I'm freaking out and then he gets and then Billy Joe comes over he's laughing then it's like off to the races then Mick goes oh I'll play another one and he plays Waiting on a Friend oh no he goes Fool to Cry oh really he plays Fool to Cry by himself on the piano
Guest:Daddy, you're a fool to cry.
Guest:And it makes me wonder why.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, it was me and Lorne was there.
Guest:Lorne was there?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Now, what's Lorne doing during all this?
Guest:He's just hanging.
Guest:He's just having a drink.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:We were just all just chilling out.
Guest:He's watching, laughing.
Guest:He's a good guy to hang out in the party with.
Guest:Is he?
Guest:Oh, he's great.
Guest:Because he gets it and he's intelligent.
Guest:He can have a great conversation, but he'll also laugh.
Marc:Well, I read the Keith Richards.
Marc:Did you read the Keith Richards?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Phenomenal.
Marc:And I read the War for Late Night.
Marc:you know, about the Conan thing.
Marc:And Lauren's in that.
Marc:And he actually comes out as sort of this almost sage-like presence in that book.
Marc:And I have, I've only got one experience with him.
Marc:I went through, I jumped through the hoops to audition for some.
Guest:I was going to say, did you?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:In 95, I can't remember, but it was a very awkward thing.
Marc:The experience I had with him was completely memorable and completely intimidating and odd to me.
Marc:So when people know him like you do, as just a guy, I can't imagine what that relationship's like.
Marc:When you first auditioned for him, what was your experience?
Marc:What were you doing?
Marc:You were doing...
Marc:Stand-up, basically, right?
Guest:I was doing stand-up at the Improv in L.A.
Guest:I was doing, like, I just got Saturday nights.
Marc:I had probably 15 minutes.
Marc:Impressions and singing?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And were you studying?
Marc:Where were you?
Marc:I mean, were you?
Marc:I was going to the Groundlings, studying at it, you know, do improv.
Marc:How old were you?
21.
Marc:22 uh-huh i think i met your first i think i know your first manager but she yeah randy siegel right you must have known her i've seen you before at clubs and stuff like that right i remember randy siegel talking about you i don't know what happened she was great yeah i think she works for national lampoon for a while and then i don't know where she went that's a comedy thing of myspace now is what myspace yeah is that still do you remember it's also called
Guest:It's called The Cab Movie.
Marc:Neither one worked out.
Guest:I'd have to Google it later.
Guest:She does that, but she was great.
Guest:She was a good, great manager and really pushed for me to get the auditions.
Guest:So I was out in L.A.
Guest:doing, you know, middle of the week stuff, you know,
Guest:David Gee, you know, Brett Walco.
Guest:I don't know if you know those guys.
Guest:I don't.
Guest:They were the emcees there.
Guest:And I remember actually my first Saturday night, I went in and I see Jerry Seinfeld.
Guest:Right.
Guest:It's at the peak of Seinfeld.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I'm freaking out.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Because I go, oh my gosh.
Guest:So I go, this is how old it is.
Guest:I run out to the street, pay phone.
Guest:I call my mother.
Guest:I go, you won't believe Jerry Seinfeld.
Guest:Jerry Seinfeld just walked in the improv.
Marc:Did you do that thing that happened in the King of Comedy?
Marc:It's like, Jerry Langford.
Marc:Jerry Langford.
Marc:No, the phone wouldn't reach.
Guest:But my mom goes, I think at that point she goes, is Shoshana there?
Guest:Because this is when he was dating.
Marc:So she was up on the gossip.
Guest:She was up on the gossip, yeah.
Guest:So I go, I don't know.
Guest:I heard he's not doing stand-up, but how cool is that?
Guest:She's like, that's great.
Guest:I'm so happy for you.
Guest:It's just telling cool stories.
Guest:So I get in, and he decides to go up.
Guest:And he crushed, he gets up, standing ovation, not even saying anything.
Guest:Right.
Guest:He tells every great joke.
Guest:He tells the dry cleaning joke.
Guest:You know, he crushes, leaves standing ovation again.
Guest:They go, all right, who's next on the list?
Guest:This is my first.
Guest:It's like, we got here, we got, I forget who it was.
Guest:And he was right next to me.
Guest:He goes, I'm not following that.
Guest:Forget it.
Guest:I'm not on.
Guest:I don't want to go.
Guest:They go, all right, well, who's Jimmy Fallon?
Guest:Jimmy Fallon.
Guest:Fallon.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I go, that's me.
Guest:He's like, all right, well, you're up now.
Guest:I go, oh, my gosh.
Guest:So luckily for me, I was an impressionist.
Guest:So I go, I had a Seinfeld.
Guest:You did.
Guest:So yeah, so I walked out and I had these, it's a doll, someone gave me a troll doll, and that was my whole act.
Marc:A troll doll was your whole act?
Guest:My whole act, yeah.
Guest:What does that mean?
Guest:Someone got me a doll, and what I do is I do impressions of different people endorsing, doing a commercial for the doll.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:So I would do Bill Cosby going like,
Guest:You know, look at the thing with his left hand and dad and baby man, you know.
Guest:And then I do, you know, I did Seinfeld.
Guest:So I came out, I'm like, look at these dolls.
Guest:Look at his hair.
Guest:Who plays with these dolls?
Guest:Their arms and legs don't move.
Guest:What kind of fun can you have with a doll like this?
Guest:Where they, doesn't even have any pants on.
Guest:It's a crazy, this is the weirdest, you know.
Guest:So I did that first.
Guest:I said like, hello, my name is Jimmy Fallon.
Guest:Welcome to Troll Doll Productions or something.
Guest:And here's the auditions for the commercial for who's going to sponsor the next line of Troll Dolls.
Guest:First up, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld.
Guest:Then I did Seinfeld.
Guest:Then it worked.
Guest:Was it quiet in the room, though?
Marc:People were like, what the fuck?
Marc:People were talking.
Guest:And this is back when you could still smoke.
Guest:So I couldn't really see anyone's face, which helped.
Guest:Do you remember that?
Guest:Sure.
Guest:there used to be a part where you couldn't see the whole improv.
Marc:You can only see those first few tables.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So it was like, I saw them and they were kind of, they're kind of being nice, polite.
Guest:And I was young.
Guest:So they were just like, God, this is going to be awful.
Marc:I feel bad for this guy.
Marc:He's going to really tank.
Guest:And then, so I did that.
Guest:It kind of worked.
Guest:And then I put the troll dog down.
Guest:Then I talk about something.
Guest:I don't know what I've talked about going to the movies or something.
Guest:It wasn't that great, but I was like,
Guest:Anyone here ever go to the movies?
Guest:It's like, what am I talking about?
Guest:Movies, huh?
Guest:You see The Cab movie?
Guest:The Cab movie?
Guest:Nobody?
Guest:Really?
Guest:It's not out yet.
Guest:I'm going to be in it in five years.
Guest:Five years, you're going to love this thing, man.
Guest:So I would just do stand-up about that type of stuff.
Guest:I felt good.
Guest:And I go, that was my first big hurdle, and I did it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so I immediately, then I finished my act.
Guest:I added music where I did music impersonations about the troll doll.
Guest:I mean, gosh, this troll thought was a lot for me.
Guest:So then, that was my whole act.
Guest:So then I left, and I immediately called my mom again on the payphone and go, I just, I just, you don't want to believe, I followed, I just followed Jerry Seinfeld.
Guest:He got off the stage, and I had to, and I told the whole story, and I was like freaking.
Marc:Isn't that payphone out in front of the improv?
Marc:Yeah, in front and to the left.
Guest:I know, I know where it is.
Guest:Yeah, not if it's still there anymore, but that's where.
Marc:It's there.
Guest:And I was like, I just couldn't believe it.
Guest:That's.
Guest:What'd she say?
Guest:She was so proud of everyone.
Guest:She's like, I'm telling, I can't tell everybody.
Guest:Oh my gosh.
Marc:You know, the baby followed the baby.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:Completely.
Guest:So I was like, but she loved when I did the improv because they, they fed you, you ate food there.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like they still paid you $7, 25 cents.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know, but they, they paid you food.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Those checks are always embarrassing to get.
Marc:Cause you don't even remember it.
Marc:I photocop, I have a photocopy of my first check.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:725.
Marc:It's not on the wall in here.
Marc:No, it's not on the wall in here.
Marc:No, this is not on the wall in here.
Marc:Did you decide on this, like the copper ceilings and everything?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Is this your look?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's nice.
Marc:I've never seen a copper ceiling inlaid like that, where just standard asbestos type of...
Guest:Yeah, it's usually, it's just that awful office lighting.
Marc:And then you have a pickle, a giant pickle in a skylight.
Guest:Now, this is a gift, believe it or not.
Guest:You get some odd gifts.
Guest:This was a pickle.
Guest:Especially made by Dean?
Guest:Yeah, Vlasic made this especially for me.
Guest:No, what happened was, I guess the writers of Letterman gave it to Conan.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And said, good luck with your show.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:And then Conan...
Guest:gave me the pickle and said, give this to the next schlub who gets the job.
Guest:He goes, it's good luck.
Guest:And so I had a pickle lying around the office.
Guest:And so I just figured I'd put it up in the ceiling and kind of light it up.
Guest:So it looks like a museum piece a little bit.
Marc:Holy shit.
Marc:Hold on.
Marc:I'm going to grab my camera.
Marc:yeah again i'm shooting i can't believe i'm shooting flip footage during the uh audio interview is always great you have to i'll send people to send people to the site either one wins i think the people watching hate it and the people listening don't like it either but there's the buddy holly and then we'll get to the carson that's a great picture of carson we'll get to that later all right so so okay so you get you get an audition for snl
Guest:Yeah, so it's at the comic strip in New York, and this is Lucian's club.
Guest:Oh, you're not very good.
Marc:We have a lot of white guys that do impressions.
Guest:Yeah, but it's fun for me, because at this time, I've never done this club.
Guest:You've never been there?
Guest:Okay, yeah.
Guest:So I walk in, I see the headshots all over the walls.
Guest:All of them.
Guest:Of all these famous people.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:This is unbelievable.
Guest:I know that guy from when I was a kid.
Marc:Caroline's.
Guest:I remember Caroline's used to be a TV show.
Guest:There were stand-up shows all over television.
Guest:That's how I knew.
Guest:Seinfeld when he was 12.
Guest:I remember like, gosh, I can't even remember now.
Guest:Dennis Wolfberg.
Guest:Wolfberg.
Guest:His eyes.
Guest:I mean, come on.
Guest:Dennis Wolfberg.
Guest:But I would see those people.
Guest:I'm like, John Mendoza.
Guest:And I go, oh, my God.
Guest:God, that's John Mendoza.
Guest:That guy was so funny.
Marc:He'd be so happy to hear you say that.
Marc:I'm going to make sure that I hope he listens.
Guest:Oh, I loved him.
Guest:I thought he was so fantastic.
Guest:Great comedian.
Guest:But I watched these guys like Fox had a show with all stand-ups on it.
Guest:A&E had Evening at the Improv.
Marc:Then they also had Comedy on the Road.
Marc:Caroline's at the Seaport, which is the
Marc:The original Caroline show.
Guest:And then Ha began.
Guest:Half-hour comedy.
Guest:I was Wally Collins was great.
Marc:And then stand-up Short Tense Events Theater, which I hosted towards the end.
Marc:Do you remember me?
Marc:I do.
Marc:Come on.
Marc:Are you kidding me?
Marc:Come on.
Marc:Of course.
Guest:That's what I'm saying.
Marc:With Frank Santorelli.
Guest:Frank Santorelli.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Marc:He's fantastic.
Marc:How funny was he?
Marc:So fucking funny.
Guest:Did he do that bit about the chapstick?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That was such a great bit.
Marc:That guy, I'm going to kick your ass.
Guest:Yeah, I'm going to kick it.
Guest:He goes, you never look tough drinking out of a crazy straw.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Yeah, the crazy straw thing.
Guest:You better watch it.
Guest:I'm going to kick your ass, buddy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:He's pulling out chapstick.
Guest:You better watch it, man.
Guest:He was great.
Guest:I loved it.
Guest:He was so funny.
Guest:I used to study all those things.
Guest:So I used to see these people I saw like freaking out.
Guest:So I go in.
Guest:I'm nervous.
Guest:Lauren, everyone, apparently, Marcy Klein, they're all sitting in there at the comic strip.
Guest:And I go in, and it just tanks.
Guest:I did the troll bit, I had three minutes to get into it, which I just knew, I was just too, I don't know if I was too nervous, I wasn't ready, I couldn't get into this troll bit.
Guest:I honestly wasn't ready.
Guest:I was like, I needed to get hit.
Marc:Were you freaked out though?
Guest:Yeah, it was a big audition.
Guest:This is my goal my whole life.
Guest:If I ever cut a piece of birthday cake, if I ever threw a coin in the fountain, saw a shooting star, I'd say I want to be on Saturday Night Live.
Guest:Really?
Guest:That's my number one.
Guest:That's what I want to do in my life.
Guest:I always have.
Guest:I mean, since then, I've made other wishes, but they've all been different.
Guest:But that was from since I was 15 to when I got the show, that's all I wanted to do.
Guest:That was my ultimate goal.
Guest:So I freaked out, and I went up, and I'm like,
Guest:I did the whole troll intro.
Guest:I did Seinfeld, and just nothing worked.
Guest:It was like, this is awful.
Guest:Horrible.
Guest:So I go to the diner next door.
Marc:Was it like a weeknight?
Guest:It was a weeknight.
Guest:It was packed.
Guest:Everyone got three minutes to go up, and that was the year they hired Tracy Morgan.
Marc:That was the year I auditioned.
Guest:Is that right?
Marc:What is that, like?
Marc:It was 95-ish.
Marc:95-ish, yeah.
Marc:Because I got the show in 98.
Marc:Oh, because I was sitting in that waiting room with Tracy, and his hair looked so good.
Marc:That was the only thing I remember.
Marc:His hair was perfect?
Marc:Yeah, it was like sheened.
Marc:It was like perfect.
Marc:And I knew him kind of.
Guest:I don't remember anyone that night.
Marc:I was sitting there.
Guest:I was just in a daze.
Marc:Yeah, I wonder if I was on that fucking night.
Guest:We could find out, right?
Guest:Lucian had to have it on videotape.
Guest:It's awful.
Guest:Either way, I wish... If you do find it, don't ever air it.
Marc:It's so bad.
Marc:Holy shit.
Marc:I wonder because I was sitting in Lauren's office with Tracy.
Marc:He was going in after me.
Marc:No.
Marc:And he had the eye.
Guest:I think it was around the same time.
Marc:It must have been.
Marc:Yeah, because that was it.
Marc:That was the only audition they had.
Marc:Then I had to wait two years for the next audition.
Marc:Oh, they had me do a screen test in Conan's studio.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah, and then I met with Lorne.
Marc:That was the same year.
Marc:Wild.
Marc:So you were at the comic strip?
Marc:I must have been.
Guest:Isn't that weird that we were in the same place at the same time?
Marc:How could I not remember?
Marc:I know what joke I did.
Guest:Was it funny?
Marc:Yeah, it was funny.
Marc:It was a joke about William Faulkner, you know, working as a night watchman at the university of wherever, in Oxford, like I'd heard that he worked.
Marc:So I got, you know, and I just pictured these frat guys, you know, always bugging.
Marc:Let's go fuck with the night guard.
Marc:And then like him just sitting in there writing, saying something like, you know, I'll show them.
Marc:They're not even going to be able to understand this.
Marc:That's how he gets back at the track.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:So I flopped that one.
Guest:It was bad.
Guest:It was awful.
Guest:And I went to that diner next door.
Marc:Right down on the corner.
Guest:And I went there and I had a coffee.
Guest:A sad coffee?
Marc:I had a sad coffee.
Marc:Then the failure sandwich?
Guest:With my manager, who was really great and very supportive.
Guest:And I go, I'm sorry.
Guest:I know for a fact I screwed up.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then went back out to L.A.
Guest:And I kept taking lessons with the Groundlings.
Guest:And I took acting lessons.
Guest:I started taking acting lessons with Gordon Hunt, Helen Hunt's dad.
Guest:And I remember I wouldn't do anything.
Guest:I wouldn't participate in anything.
Guest:Because I read somewhere that James Dean didn't do that for his acting.
Guest:Oh.
Guest:It's the stupidest advice, but I read it somewhere.
Guest:And how'd that go over?
Guest:Oh, off.
Guest:Well, you saw the cab movie, right?
Guest:You told me how it went over.
Guest:My acting, I go like, because as a stand-up, you don't know how to act with other people because you're on stage by yourself.
Guest:So that's why the Groundlings is good, or Second City or UCB or any of that stuff.
Guest:It's all good stuff.
Guest:That's a good point.
Guest:Because you get to listen to other people.
Marc:You don't know how to listen to other people and react.
Marc:Because I always wondered why that is.
Marc:Because most of the time, it's a rare thing when
Marc:when comics can't listen.
Marc:Because you can always see them thinking about what they're going to do next.
Marc:Yep, completely.
Marc:But you learned how to do it, it seems.
Guest:Well, eventually, I think my manager, someone told me, you're being stupid.
Guest:You're not James Dean.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You have to start acting.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I started doing, I just started getting out there more and getting on stage.
Guest:Like Groundlings, I would do my bit and run off the stage because I was embarrassed.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Was it good?
Guest:I'm just so doubting myself.
Guest:But then I just, at that point, after I didn't get SNL, I just felt, well,
Guest:It can't get worse.
Guest:So I just started enjoying stuff.
Guest:I enjoyed stage time and I started expanding my ass a little bit more.
Marc:That was a moment where you decided to enjoy things.
Marc:For a little bit, yeah.
Marc:No, because I think you have that.
Marc:I think that it's one of the great strengths that you have is that you seem to have a good time.
Guest:I like to enjoy, I really do, yeah.
Guest:I know if people think, you know, oh my gosh, he breaks all the time, he laughs.
Guest:I just do it because I'm really having fun.
Guest:I wish the camera wasn't on me.
Guest:Because a lot of the times I luck out in the camera, you don't even know half the time I'm laughing.
Guest:Because it's like, oh man, that was too funny.
Marc:Did people get mad at you though during SNL?
Marc:Because I mean, there was a period there where you did a lot of that.
Guest:Yeah, there was that one season where Will was about to leave, where he would just go for it.
Guest:And that was his goal, was to try to make me laugh somehow.
Marc:You knew that going into a bit?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:They knew they were going to get me.
Guest:We'd do the hot tub bit, and Will would have his hand by my leg.
Guest:And every time I'd talk, he'd squeeze me.
Guest:He'd operate me like a puppet.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And not only that, but he was being really funny.
Guest:So I'd be like, this is insane.
Guest:And then there's nowhere to go because you're stuck in a hot tub.
Guest:So he knew I was going to break.
Guest:Because if you increase the height of not being able to turn around or leave, like a church or a library, I'm lost.
Guest:I'm done.
Guest:I'm the first guy.
Guest:I'll leave.
Guest:I'll cough up blood.
Guest:I have to get out.
Guest:I'll laugh too hard.
Guest:I've been at funerals where I'm like, I got to get out of here.
Marc:You can't stop yourself.
Guest:I'm laughing too much.
Guest:So it's organic.
Marc:It's too funny.
Marc:Did Lorne ever get on you about that?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, once he could, he didn't like it.
Guest:McKay didn't like it.
Guest:No one liked it.
Marc:When he broke?
Marc:Because why?
Marc:Because they thought you were stealing stage?
Guest:Yeah, I think so.
Guest:Or just, yeah.
Marc:But they're still friends with you.
Marc:It wasn't like, fuck you.
Guest:Well, I told them all.
Guest:I said, look, I don't know what to say.
Guest:I'm apologizing.
Guest:It's like, don't write me in so I can say I don't do it on purpose.
Guest:I'm just, I'm so sorry.
Guest:I apologize.
Guest:I hope I didn't ruin your sketch, you know?
Guest:And, you know, Cowbell was probably one of the most famous ones where I broke laughing, you know, because I was up to do my line.
Guest:There's a sketch called Cowbell.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Actually, I think it's called like Blue Oyster Cult is the name of the sketch where Will is playing the guy who plays Cowball on Don't Fear the Reaper.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So and Christopher Walken is the producer, Bruce Dickinson.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:so he comes out and so he just wants more cowbell and so it's a really weird sketch and will keeps whacking on this cowbell and it's clearly overpowering the whole band chris parnell can't sing he can't hear his voice no and then they go i'm sorry can we stop this take and christopher walker would come out and he goes what was wrong that take was great except my only note i have is i'd like to hear a little bit more cowbell
Guest:So he kept doing that, and Will's like, I know, right?
Guest:I'm just trying to play.
Guest:His name was Gene or something, which is a perfect name.
Guest:So then him and Katan get in some fake scuffle, and then comes my line.
Guest:So he goes like, come on, Gene.
Guest:And they push, and Katan pushes Will.
Guest:First of all, on Will on air, he wears a different size shirt, a size too small.
Guest:So his stomach's hanging out, his gut's hanging out at the bottom of it.
Guest:So Katan pushes him, and his sunglasses fall off.
Guest:And his eyes hit me and it looked like I was looking at Charles Manson's face.
Guest:Like his eyes.
Guest:He was like, he's sweating.
Guest:And his guts hanging out.
Guest:And I was like, and I just like, gosh, I couldn't.
Guest:I've never played with a funnier human being in my life.
Guest:I've never seen a funnier human being ever.
Guest:And then I had to say like, yeah, you're ruining it for his gene or whatever my line was.
Guest:But man, that was good.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:and then uh and so then you know when they made the best of will ferrell i think that's where it really kind of blew up that i laughed at myself because all the best of him was me laughing at him you know and it's like yeah i've done i've done other stuff where i don't laugh i mean the sketch isn't funny yeah you don't you don't want to watch the sketch but the ones that are funny i laugh at it's not i'm sorry i'm doing this and it's like and sometimes i'd be lucky the camera would cut away and i'd laugh like like
Guest:You know, we did a sketch called cork soakers where it was in Italy.
Guest:I mean Horatio were two guys that Were there tours coming through our place in Tuscany in Italy and this is where we do the the the soaking of the corks They soak them in water before they put them in the bottle and makes it easier to put in the bottle Of course, it's not real.
Guest:Yeah, but Higgins just made the Steve Higgins wrote that he made it up so like so it's the joke it basically is like I
Guest:I'm a cork soaker.
Guest:I mean, I've been soaking corks my whole life.
Guest:Are you kidding me?
Guest:Sometimes I like the long skinny ones.
Guest:I like the soak of the dark ones.
Guest:They are the gray ones.
Guest:You know, so then like the women come in like, I don't have a cheese, but I still like the soak of the cork.
Guest:You know, and like, it's all silly stuff.
Guest:Then Janet Jackson is there, and every time the camera was on Janet Jackson, me and Horatio would be laughing.
Guest:So she's trying to hold a straight face, but we're lost, but the camera's not on us.
Guest:So every time they cut to us, we'd regain our composure and go with it.
Guest:But there was those couple years where Will would just, he'd just do something just for the cast.
Guest:He'd make us all happy.
Guest:Like there was a sketch, it was like a Scarlet Letter type of sketch, but his Scarlet Letter was BJ.
Guest:So he's being banished.
Guest:You know, like Esther Prynne or whatever.
Guest:So Hester Prynne.
Guest:So he has to be banished.
Guest:So Chris Parnell is like, all right, now you have to be banished to the woods.
Guest:And Will's supposed to go, OK.
Guest:And he leaves.
Guest:But on air, Chris Parnell goes, all right, you have to be banished to the woods.
Guest:And Will goes, no!
Guest:No!
Guest:He goes, no.
Guest:You have to be banished.
Guest:No!
Guest:He just starts yelling no.
Guest:Yelling like a little baby.
Guest:Yelling no back to him.
Guest:And we all just started losing it.
Guest:Because it's like, what are you doing?
Guest:He's just screwing everybody.
Marc:Have fun.
Guest:He's just a great guy.
Guest:And did he ever get in trouble?
Guest:No.
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:Because he was on his way out anyway.
Guest:He was off to do movies.
Marc:So when you finally did Meet with Warren, when you got the show, how was it?
Marc:Was it weird?
Marc:It was amazing.
Guest:I was out in Los Angeles.
Guest:I just did a really low-budget film called... I think it's now called The Scheme, if you buy it on DVD.
Guest:Was that the original title?
Guest:No.
Guest:A lot of my movies...
Guest:I'm going to make you write your own joke on this one.
Guest:The original title, it could have easily been the other one, but it wasn't.
Guest:I forget what it was originally called.
Guest:Taxi the prequel?
Guest:It had nothing to do with the cab at all, even though I think there was a scene in a taxi.
Guest:But I don't know.
Guest:It was just some movie, and it was fun, and a young actor, and we did this movie.
Guest:It was low budget.
Guest:And on the movie, I get a call to do this television show for the WB.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Called Tasty Sensations or something about a bunch of black women who start their own catering company.
Guest:And I play the white kid who, like a skater kid who drives the van.
Mm-hmm.
Guest:So I said, they go, they want you for this show.
Guest:I said, I'd love to do it.
Guest:I said, but I just auditioned for Siren Live, and I really, if I get it, I want to be able to get out and do Siren Live.
Guest:And they go, no.
Guest:Well, then, thank you so much.
Guest:I'd rather not do this show.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I think what became, my attorney said he's never done anything like that before.
Guest:They actually wrote up, because it was the day of the reading, and they go, all right, well, just give him this out.
Guest:When is this kid's kid not going to be on Siren Live?
Guest:So they gave me an out, a contractual out, that if I got Siren Live, I can leave the sitcom, which is ridiculous.
Guest:So anyways, I get the sitcom, and I get this thing in my contract, and weirdly enough, Siren Live calls.
Guest:I said, Lorne Michaels wants to meet you.
Guest:I go, this is unbelievable.
Guest:Before you even shot the scene.
Guest:No one can believe it.
Guest:The independent, oh yeah, I shot everything.
Guest:No one can believe it.
Guest:They go, this is insane.
Guest:They all like me, so this is so huge.
Guest:Go for it, buddy.
Guest:I hope the next Eddie Murphy, this is the greatest thing in the world.
Guest:Everyone's happy for me.
Guest:So I go, I meet Lauren on Paramount lot, and I wait in the waiting room for three hours.
Guest:What was he doing out there?
Guest:He has an office in the Paramount lot.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:That's where he does like Wayne's World.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Like a couple of movies for Paramount.
Guest:Tommy Boy, I think all Paramount.
Guest:Mean Girls does Paramount, too.
Guest:But so we were just so he has an office in Paramount lot, which is a really cool studio lot.
Guest:I think it was my first audition ever when I was out in L.A., which, you know, they all suck.
Guest:But I'll never forget walking on and going, this is pretty cool.
Guest:It's like they were shooting the Brady Bunch movie.
Guest:It's just amazing.
Guest:It's like the real thing.
Guest:Yeah, you see a Klingon smoking a cigarette and having a coffee on the side of the back lot.
Guest:It's just fun.
Marc:Yeah, I went and interviewed Ray Romano over there.
Marc:That's where they do their thing.
Guest:He was one of the nicest comedians ever to me.
Marc:Ever.
Marc:He's a sweet guy in general.
Guest:Yeah, he really is.
Guest:That was one of those things where you go, I'm so happy he made it because he was a nice guy.
Guest:But anyway, so I go, I meet Lorne, and three hours later, I walk in, everything's white.
Marc:In his office.
Marc:So you're waiting for three hours, and you walk in.
Guest:I walk into a white room.
Guest:So clearly I died, or something happened.
Guest:And he's got his feet up on the desk.
Guest:He's chilling.
Guest:He goes, Jimmy, do you ever wear wigs?
Guest:And at the time, my hair was kind of spiked up.
Guest:And I go, oh, I just do this.
Guest:I do this myself to my hair.
Guest:He goes, no, I'm just saying for different characters because we want you for the show.
Guest:And then the rest was like slow motion.
Guest:I was like, and I just said like, oh.
Guest:Sure, do you want me to wear wigs?
Guest:I'm going to work so hard for you.
Guest:I'm telling you, I won't let you down.
Guest:I will be a good cast choice.
Guest:I'm going to really work hard.
Guest:And that was my, I left there.
Guest:And then I just planned my trip back to New York, back to my family.
Guest:Back to my friends, I mean, it was crazy.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Out in L.A., I really didn't have that many fans.
Marc:So it just was one question.
Marc:Do you ever wear wigs?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And you said... I do this to my hair.
Guest:I thought he was talking about making fun of my hair.
Marc:Once he said, well, we want you to wear wigs.
Marc:It was wild.
Marc:Okay, so after SNL, how long before Conan decided to leave did you know you were going to do this show?
Guest:I didn't know at all until I was... Did you want it?
Guest:No.
Guest:The talk show?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No, but it wasn't serious.
Guest:Conan signed like a deal five years in advance or six years in advance.
Guest:So there's no sense in thinking about it.
Guest:It's like saying, hey, in five years, do you want to have a new car?
Marc:Right.
Guest:But someone had mentioned it to you?
Guest:Lauren did yeah Lauren brought up and he goes look in five years Conan's gonna take over the tonight show we might need we'll need a talk show host I think you could do it you'd be good and I remember Tina Fey was in the room too and she was like yeah I think you'd be good you get the Irish charm you like talking to people like I think you'd be good I was like oh I don't know I'm gonna try movies I don't know I don't know what I want to do she's like all right well but you know it's it's always keep in touch because I left with I was not enemies with anybody at the show I that's purposely why I wanted to leave because
Guest:I just hear these horror stories and I go like, I've never had a bad experience.
Guest:I don't wanna start getting in these dumb fights and stuff.
Guest:So I just left and then I tried movies and then five years later, I get a call from Lauren.
Guest:I've seen them since.
Guest:I've done bits on the show.
Guest:I've done Barry Gibb or some different bits on the show.
Guest:And then he goes, well, the time is now.
Guest:I mean, now it's five years later.
Guest:You still considering it?
Guest:I go, actually, yeah.
Guest:I mean, it'd probably be awesome.
Guest:He asked my wife.
Guest:At this point, now I'm married.
Guest:I talked to my wife.
Guest:She goes, you have to.
Guest:this is like a no-brainer.
Guest:Only three other people have done, like two other people have done this.
Guest:Letterman, David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, and you.
Guest:So if you don't make it, still you're on the list of three people in the history have ever done it.
Guest:Got the shot.
Guest:And I go, yeah, you're right.
Guest:So then I got it, and I went on Conan, and he was always great to me.
Guest:That was my first ever talk show.
Guest:It was The Conan Show.
Guest:He's a great guy.
Guest:He's the best guy.
Guest:He's so nice.
Guest:I'm happy that everything worked out.
Guest:Because I was like, well, so we started that.
Guest:And then I'm like, all right, this is going to be tough because Conan's been on, not like he's been on five years or six years, 16 years.
Guest:So whatever show replaces a show that's been on for 16 years is going to get hit.
Guest:I mean, people aren't going to like it.
Guest:You know what I'm saying?
Marc:Like if you're so used to watching a show.
Marc:Yeah, okay.
Marc:So that was how you were feeling when you went into it.
Marc:But you do appeal to, you had a lot of fans.
Marc:I mean, people like you.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But you kind of knew that.
Marc:But you still thought, like, oh, fuck.
Guest:I mean, I didn't have that many fans.
Guest:I mean, I had a lot of fans, but I wasn't... They hadn't seen you in a while?
Guest:After the Cab movie.
Guest:You mean Taxi?
Guest:Yeah, Taxi did... Yeah, that one.
Guest:Yeah, after that one and Fever Pitch.
Guest:Fever Pitch did okay, but it wasn't the number one movie.
Guest:So my movie career was kind of... There was nothing really happening.
Guest:I mean, I was doing independent movies.
Guest:so yeah so you're nervous i had people but yeah right hundreds of thousands i couldn't sell out radio city or anything right so i i just said i gotta kind of start from scratch so lauren told me he's like oh i think you should go on the road you should get back on the road because i hadn't done stand-up in a while so i was like all right so i just went where's my troll doll
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:I go, I can't do the troll doll, right?
Guest:But then I thought about it.
Guest:You know, I thought about it.
Guest:I'm like, I just can't.
Guest:I've got to write a new thing.
Guest:You've got to open up this weird old box.
Guest:An old notebook, and you're like, ah, there it is.
Guest:The magic.
Guest:The magic jokes where I even look at it now, I go, it's not even that good.
Guest:But I thought about it for a second.
Guest:So I had my agents call everybody at the different comedy clubs and said, do you mind if I start doing some spots, like 10 minutes here and there?
Guest:I don't want my name on the bill because I don't know if it'll be funny.
Guest:So I went to Zany's a lot, and I went to the Improv.
Guest:In Chicago?
Guest:No, the one in Nashville.
Guest:Oh, it's a great club.
Guest:And then I did...
Marc:So you actually were going, you know, stealth.
Marc:You were just going to different parts of the country, not even in the city.
Guest:No, no.
Guest:Miami I did and Arizona.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:And I was just going up trying to do as much as I can.
Guest:With impressions or just straight jokes?
Guest:Impressions, too.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:everything music songs original songs I added like I never did original songs before so I started doing that but I was opening for Owen Benjamin for a long time and then I started I met Wayne Federman again he was a good friend but I hadn't seen him in a while he was at I was at Nashville Zany's and weirdly enough this MC doesn't know I'm on the bill but also he didn't know um
Guest:Well, he did know I was on the bill, but the crowd didn't know that I was on the bill, and the crowd didn't know that Clint Black was going to go out and try stand-up, because there was a new CBS show called Secret Talents of the Stars.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And Wayne was Clint Black's... Writer guy?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Writer guy.
Guest:So I got to see Wayne.
Guest:I'm like, I'm starting to put an act together for this thing, and I don't know what... I'm okay with it, but he's like, oh, it'll be fine.
Guest:I'll go on some dates with you.
Guest:I'll help you out.
Guest:I was so psyched that he was there, because he's an old pal.
Marc:He's a good guy.
Guest:So me and Wayne started going around in different clubs and then just started writing more and more material and just getting as much, like probably an hour of stuff just so I can just start doing, start headlining at least.
Guest:So I started headlining and then I go, oh yeah, this is my headlining.
Guest:I never liked headlining.
Guest:Because they give out the check and all that stuff.
Guest:It was such a thing.
Guest:I wouldn't mind doing great in middle and then leaving.
Guest:What'd you close with?
Guest:I would close with a song.
Guest:I had a song called...
Guest:Cougar hunting, I think, where I pretend I'm a cowboy singer.
Guest:I'm talking about hunting cougars.
Guest:And then I would do an encore of either some impression, or I had a list of impressions of comedians I would do.
Guest:So I'd do Chris Rock and Stephen Wright, and I'd just do it in a list.
Guest:I'd say, here's a stopwatch.
Guest:Every 10 seconds, tell me to change.
Guest:I'll change to a different comedian.
Guest:So I'd do Adam Sandler.
Guest:And I'd go, and Chris Rock would be like, crack!
Guest:I don't know how to do that, but I had it better then.
Guest:And then I'd have, you know, just walk around with Stephen Wright and do some Stephen Wright thing.
Guest:And I just went down the list.
Guest:And I'd probably close with that one.
Guest:But it was one of those things where, okay, so now I got that going.
Guest:I'm used to seeing crowds, dealing with the crowds again.
Guest:I did a lot of, you know, I had maybe five or ten minutes of just crowd work, just saying, what's your name, where you're from, what do you do for a living, stuff like that.
Guest:And just going off the cuff.
Guest:And just trying to get my brain working.
Guest:And then I started doing internet shows, because Conan was still on.
Guest:He's on for the last three months, so I couldn't get into that studio to do stuff.
Guest:So we were just waiting, and I was just doing shows from here in this office.
Guest:editing it myself with this one producer on Final Cut Pro and you know I would edit for like three hours for a 45 second piece you know it's hard you know so you're starting to build up this internet presence and people are coming around right yeah it was like good it was like people started talking going I like that thing you did or I don't like that thing you did which is helpful
Guest:which is I always kind of embrace the internet but I mean this was Twitter has just started it's brand new and Facebook is just growing so it's like for people to go like oh I always used to like your bit and I did this thing and I saw the troll bit or you know whatever and so then they start saying like
Guest:Yeah, I don't know.
Guest:Like that one interview you did with Fred, that was weird.
Guest:You mumble when you talk.
Guest:You know, and stuff like that.
Guest:So you look for kind of advice on what to do.
Guest:We got to announce that the Roots were going to be the house band on the internet.
Guest:And how did that come about, man?
Guest:You were just into them and how did that happen?
Guest:No, I was kind of into them.
Guest:I knew maybe like a handful of songs.
Guest:I've seen them at outdoor events, stuff like that, and they're always great, and I've seen them back up.
Guest:Whose idea was that?
Guest:So it was Neil Brennan's idea, who's a producer on Chappelle's show.
Guest:So I talked to Neil, and I go, yeah, I'm doing the show, blah, blah, blah.
Guest:I just need advice.
Guest:I'm trying to figure out what to do.
Guest:And he goes, who's going to be your house band?
Guest:I go, I don't know.
Guest:He goes,
Guest:well, I always work with these guys who are the best on Chappelle's show, but you should ask The Roots.
Guest:I'm like, you think The Roots would be my house band?
Guest:He goes, no, no, no, no.
Guest:They might know someone who, they'll steer in that direction.
Guest:They work with a bunch of people.
Guest:I was like, oh, okay, okay, okay.
Guest:Then I go, well, what's the worst that could happen?
Guest:They say, no.
Guest:And so I just asked them.
Guest:And then I just asked them, and they were like, well, we just got off a tour.
Guest:We'd just been traveling 350-something days.
Guest:So it's like we're exhausted of going on the road, but we still want to play.
Guest:We still want to do gigs.
Guest:And I go, well, this is New York City.
Guest:You can play anything.
Guest:Actually, my big pitch, I said, you could raise the bar of what a house band is.
Guest:You could play with Tony Bennett, and you could play with Jay-Z without blinking an eye.
Guest:If anyone sees them in concert, you know that they're that good.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They'll go in from, you know, The Seed 2.0 to Guns N' Roses to Indigata DeVita.
Marc:Oh, man, that week that you had all the guys doing Stone songs, that was amazing that they were just right there.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:When they played with Elvis Costello, that was great.
Guest:Phenomenal.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Like, yeah, I could have them play with Elvis Costello, or even they play with Christopher Cross and play Ride Like the Wind.
Guest:Did you have him on?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I miss it.
Guest:We had Christopher Cross, and then we had Michael McDonald walk out.
Guest:Oh, no.
Guest:Such a low way to go.
Guest:It was off.
Guest:People went nuts.
Guest:It was a yacht rock themed night.
Guest:See, that's the fun thing about the show.
Guest:You can make your own, like, you go like, no, this is the way we do it.
Guest:This week we're going to have yacht rock music where we have, you know, Ambrosia is going to sing.
Guest:Make a whistle, baby.
Guest:you know you can do those types of fun things and they're all still touring and they sound great yeah yeah and it's just like but it's like that's the that's the one thing i said when we got a music book i got to hire everybody talent booker music booker like it's all on you yeah so if you're gonna go down you might as well hire who you like right i heard this guy is great i said look he goes what do you want just like you know a bunch of indie bands and college bands i go
Guest:No, no, no, I do.
Guest:I want those, but I want everybody.
Guest:I want something with a story.
Guest:I want something fun.
Guest:I want everything.
Guest:I want one week to there to be hip-hop and country music and 70s and 80s one-hit wonders.
Guest:I love that type of stuff.
Guest:Anything with a story where you're like, that's interesting.
Marc:Or like, whatever happened to that guy?
Marc:Yeah, any of that stuff.
Guest:I love that.
Guest:And you go like, we just had, I mean, I'm trying to think of now when Stephen Bishop came on.
Guest:Really?
Guest:it was phenomenal and people loved it what was his hit?
Guest:on and on this just keeps on trying but he also had he also had you have no right to ask me how I feel he wrote that yeah he does a great version of that so we had him do that you love music you're like a music guy
Guest:I love it so much.
Guest:I grew up, my dad always had the radio on, my mom, so I just loved to grow up with it.
Guest:So I mean, the fact that I can ever do, incorporate any music or any fun thing into the show is always fun.
Guest:And using the internet too, like now we have the internet, we have our website, we can put bonus songs on.
Guest:Like Johnny Carson didn't have the internet, or else you would have gotten a bonus.
Marc:So now you were doing the show in here and you were cutting stuff up.
Marc:I remember you were putting stuff up, bits up, and you're getting a lot of feedback.
Marc:You're building some excitement towards coming on and hosting the show when Conan leaves.
Marc:And then you come on.
Marc:And it was interesting because when I watched the first few shows, I was like, well, he's going to wear the suit.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:He's gonna go for that.
Marc:Yeah, he's gonna do the suit thing.
Marc:He's gonna stand still and tell some jokes.
Marc:Tell some jokes, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Not really reinventing the wheel here.
Marc:Well, wasn't that, it's like, that's a specific thing.
Marc:I don't judge like that.
Marc:I mean, doing the hosting, being a talk show host, I mean, there is a tradition to it, and it doesn't need to be fucked with, necessarily, that particular thing.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But, you know, you look pretty comfortable.
Marc:You were telling jokes and you weren't cracking up and then too much.
Marc:And then you sat down.
Marc:I didn't laugh myself that much.
Marc:But there was this thing like right at the beginning, even when people were, you know, when people were just starting to get into it or starting to react to it.
Marc:I was like, well, I'll tell you one thing that he's doing that no one else is doing.
Marc:He's having a fucking good time.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Like, I mean, I was sitting there watching it and I'm like, why is this so great?
Marc:And it's like because he's fucking having a good time.
Guest:Yeah, but I really want to go, if this only lasts a week, why would you not enjoy yourself?
Marc:Right, but you still seem to be doing that.
Marc:Like when guests come on, you're excited to see them.
Marc:You're a fan of people.
Marc:You're not ashamed to be a fan of people.
Guest:I'm really not.
Guest:I like movies.
Guest:I like TV shows.
Guest:I really do.
Guest:I go home.
Guest:I just saw the Woody Allen movie last night.
Guest:I love watching movies.
Guest:How was it?
Guest:it's pretty good yeah yeah it's actually it's it's very like kind of uh whimsical fun thing where you're like oh this is so fun that hits him being fun again yeah and this of course there's always those scenes where you're like come on this no one can relate to this no he's not no that's good but owen wilson knocks out of the park it's good it's really funny it's it's you like the idea of it general you guys friends no we've never been friends but we're not enemies but i don't know how he is he's all right good healthy in this movie
Guest:But I love those things.
Guest:And I watch every reality show.
Guest:I watch TV shows.
Guest:I'm really into The Killing right now.
Guest:That's the show I'm watching on AMC.
Guest:But I watch, you know, I am a fan of those things.
Marc:And you seem to figure out, you organize some writers that can write to your strengths.
Marc:And you do, like, you know, I've never seen episodic bits, really, in my recollection of things that actually unfold over a week, which is unique.
Marc:And it's great.
Marc:You know, you're playing to your sketch sensibilities and your character playing sensibilities.
Marc:You got A.D.
Marc:Miles and all those guys.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:AD is phenomenal.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, sweet guy.
Guest:No, he's the best.
Guest:I mean, we have him doing the, you know, he's the head writer and he just, I mean, the guy's just, he can come up with a joke.
Guest:Every day we always go, look, what do we laugh at?
Guest:Like, we want to leave work going, that was a good laugh.
Guest:Right.
Guest:We had a really good laugh.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know, and we do.
Guest:And we talk about that and we go, God, what a blessing it is to just have one big laugh.
Guest:Who else has a job like that?
Guest:Where you can go like, that was so funny.
Guest:Even when you made fun of me.
Guest:Sometimes Miles wore this khaki suit the other day.
Guest:It was ridiculous.
Guest:I thought it was Tom Wolfe.
Guest:So we all made fun of everybody.
Guest:Different at times.
Guest:But that means you're home.
Guest:Whenever we can make fun of you.
Guest:And it was just the best and we're just laughing.
Marc:But it's not even about the show.
Marc:Are there any rules though?
Marc:I've heard that you never want to come off as mean spirited.
Guest:I don't like that type of comedy.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I mean, I don't like kicking people when they're down.
Guest:Mm-hmm.
Guest:You know, I'll kick people when they're up.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So I'll do a couple mean-spirited jokes when they're up and they're popular or something.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But when they're down and out, it's like, it's just a tough time for them.
Guest:I just feel a little bit, even no matter who it is.
Guest:They're just like, well...
Guest:someone else will cover me on that one right i'm sure there'll be 10 other jokes because you feel bad for them kind of yeah and it's like it's like you know what they're getting hit from all angles right i like to like you know if if i can find a different way into it it's always a more i i know that that joke's gonna be made someone's gonna do it even better than me so like oh it's like like susan boyle when that came out everyone's like oh my gosh this lady she's not good looking she's this is insane she's the man and there's all this like oh my gosh yeah
Guest:She's just a lady singing a song.
Guest:And that's all she did.
Guest:So we did a bit where it's like everybody who came in and heard her singing was touched and sat down and reevaluated.
Guest:Some people came in with one arm bleeding.
Guest:The copy machine's broken.
Guest:They have one arm.
Guest:They don't explain why.
Guest:They lost the arm.
Guest:And then they hear her voice and they sit down.
Guest:And we have some girl come in.
Guest:She goes, I just got the results.
Guest:I'm not pregnant.
Guest:And she's crying.
Guest:She comes in, hears the song, sits down, smiles.
Guest:Then another girl comes in and she has this thing.
Guest:She goes, I just got the results.
Guest:I am pregnant.
Guest:And she's upset.
Guest:But then she sees this.
Guest:And then at the end, she passes the pregnancy test to the other girl.
Guest:And then the guy with one arm is slapping five with the guy with two arms.
Guest:So we made it into a thing where that's a positive thing now.
Guest:But it's still
Guest:funny right you know and it's that was one of my favorite things we did in the show where I go like oh yeah that's we took what everyone else is doing a negative thing and we did a positive thing I think it was a it was a cool thing I wish that I hope that she could see that one day or she did that would be cool but I know it went viral on the web but I would make her feel good like oh yeah I did it made people happy so is that something you just had your whole life where you just don't like feeling like you you hurt someone's feelings or just it's just a negative thing I don't know I mean I
Marc:Because it's a real thing with you, right?
Guest:I think that's a guilt thing.
Guest:It's probably an Irish guilt thing where I just want to make everyone feel good.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I think that's what it is.
Guest:I think you always get things out of people on these podcasts.
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:We're doing good.
Guest:WTF.
Guest:No, I know.
Guest:Yeah, you didn't get too much out of it.
Marc:No, it was great.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:See, now I feel like I should have done a song or something.
Guest:We can still do a song.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:You want to do a song?
Guest:No, you don't want me to do a song, but I could.
Marc:Yeah, hell yeah.
Marc:What, you got a new one?
Guest:I could do one.
Guest:It's kind of new.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:Yeah, I'll give you a guitar.
Guest:So this is a new one?
Guest:Not really.
Guest:All right.
Guest:It's a Bob Dylan thing.
Okay.
Guest:Because what we figured out we can do in the show is if I do these impressions that everyone's always done, there's a way to tweak it so it's kind of funny now.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because how many people have you seen do Bob Dylan?
Guest:What?
Guest:150.
Guest:A hundred and fifty-eight.
Guest:A thousand.
Guest:Okay, that was a tip.
Guest:All right, so this is a Bob Dylan type of thing.
Guest:His harmonica's always higher up.
Guest:Neil Young's like...
Guest:And that's the kind of Neil.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Bob Dylan just hits the one high note of the harmonica and just screeches it.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And just like.
Guest:That's the way he plays it.
Guest:So he likes to go.
Guest:Good boy in the neighborhood Lives upstairs in his arms and stood
Guest:He's just there to take good care of me Like he's one of the family Charles in charge of our days and our nights Charles in charge of our wrongs and our rights Charles in charge of our days and our nights Charles in charge of our wrongs and our rights
Guest:I want Charles in charge of me.
Guest:I want Charles in charge of me.
Guest:Awesome.
Marc:I thought your Neil Young was great, too.
Guest:Neil Young, we did that.
Guest:We did the first one we did.
Marc:And you got to meet Neil too, right?
Guest:Yeah, he came up after the second time we did it.
Guest:He came to the show.
Guest:He goes, you know, Pants on the Ground was my biggest hit I've had in 10 years.
Guest:Wearing the floppy hat and everything.
Guest:We just did a whip my hair thing with Springsteen.
Guest:We had Springsteen on.
Marc:Oh, you met him too?
Guest:Dude, that was the most fun.
Guest:Springsteen was the best.
Guest:That guy was like, he came for the whole show.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he brought his own sunglasses from the Born to Run.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Taurus.
Guest:Neured sunglasses.
Guest:78.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he was like, I'll do a thing if you want to do a thing.
Guest:Let's play.
Guest:Let's play.
Guest:Let's play.
Guest:We'll do something.
Guest:So we recorded Neil Young doing Whip My Hair.
Guest:Will Smith, Will Smith's daughter has a song.
Guest:I whip my hair back and forth.
Guest:I whip my hair.
Guest:So it's like a pop song.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So this is Neil Young and Bruce Springsteen doing that.
Guest:We just tried to make it more folky and nice.
Guest:Whip my hair back and forth.
Guest:Whip my hair back and forth, just whip it.
Guest:Whip my hair back and forth, you gotta whip your hair.
Guest:This is like, this is from Neil, so Neil was like,
Guest:all the ladies if you feel me whip your hair do it do it whip your hair whip your hair don't know if it's long or short whip your hair do it do it whip your hair
Guest:with you and then over like that so it's like the most and that was one of the hardest i go don't laugh just don't laugh just gosh you make it through this without laughing this would be so great and he was so into it first was and at the end he posed on me like the uh born runner yeah yeah oh that's fucking great elbow on the shoulder
Marc:Well, I'll tell you, man, I think you're doing a great job, and it's great talking to you.
Guest:Let's do this again, because this is always fun.
Guest:I'm a huge fan of this podcast.
Guest:They keep me entertained.
Guest:You get some great interviews, man.
Marc:You're really good.
Marc:I appreciate talking to a guy that's not ashamed to be a fan and has such a love of music and show business in a way, and you're putting good things out there, man.
Guest:Thanks, brother.
Guest:I appreciate it.
Marc:Thanks for talking to me.
Guest:Mark Merritt.
Marc:That was my chat with Jimmy Fallon, a truly nice guy.
Marc:Now let's do a little plug-in.
Marc:And by the way, thank you, Jimmy Fallon, for inviting me into your office and showing me your shit.
Marc:All that cool, the guitars, the pickle in the ceiling.
Marc:It was fun.
Marc:Let's do some plugs, can we?
Marc:Don't, don't, don't turn it off.
Marc:Okay, I'm going to be in Edmonton at the comic strip tonight through the weekend.
Marc:How about June 23rd, 24th, 25th, and 26th?
Marc:That sounds right.
Marc:Also, we're putting new episodes up at the pod shop, so you can go to wtfpodshop.com, and there's all kinds of cool new episodes up there.
Marc:Patrice, Jim Norton, Zach Galifianakis, Atal, Dane Cook, Louis C.K.,
Marc:Many of the great shows are up there now.
Marc:You can also go to iTunes and search for WTF Premium and do that.
Marc:What else do I want to tell you?
Marc:This is pretty important.
Marc:I am doing a benefit on June 29th at the Wiltern Theater, the big-time comedy show.
Marc:It's a Geraldo family benefit.
Marc:This benefits Greg Geraldo's family.
Marc:It's got an amazing lineup to show.
Marc:Tosh, Whitney Cummings, Jeff Ross, Bill Burr, Ralphie May, Andy Kindler.
Marc:You can go to LiveNation.com slash events, I think.
Marc:But that's June 29th at the Wiltern Theater, the big-time comedy show, A Geraldo Family Benefit.
Marc:What else do I need to tell you?
Marc:Is there something else I need to tell you?
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Live WTF, June 28th at the Steve Allen Theater with Neil Hamburger, Rob Hubel, Seth Morris.
Marc:I think I'm pronouncing that right.
Marc:Eddie Pepitone and, of course, Jim Earl.
Marc:That's June 28th at 8 p.m.
Marc:at the Steve Allen Theater.
Marc:Get yourself some JustCoffee.coop.
Marc:God, I haven't done one of those plugs in a while, but that's okay.
Marc:You can get that at WTFPod.com.
Marc:You can also get on the mailing list.
Marc:You can pick up the apps.
Marc:You can do all the business there.
Marc:God, I gotta go.
Marc:I gotta go.
Marc:I think that's it.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Bye-bye.
you