Episode 180 - Iris Bahr

Episode 180 • Released June 1, 2011 • Speakers detected

00:00:00Marc:Lock the gates!

00:00:08Guest:Are we doing this?

00:00:08Guest:Really?

00:00:09Guest:Wait for it.

00:00:10Guest:Are we doing this?

00:00:10Guest:Wait for it.

00:00:12Guest:Pow!

00:00:13Guest:What the fuck?

00:00:15Guest:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?

00:00:17Guest:What's wrong with me?

00:00:18Guest:It's time for WTF!

00:00:20Guest:What the fuck?

00:00:21Guest:With Marc Maron.

00:00:24Marc:Okay, let's do this.

00:00:26Marc:How are you, what the fuckers?

00:00:27Marc:What the fuck buddies?

00:00:28Marc:What the fuckineers?

00:00:29Marc:What the fuckannots?

00:00:31Marc:What the fucksikins?

00:00:32Marc:What the fuckapinos?

00:00:33Marc:What the fuckanucks?

00:00:34Marc:Whatever the fuck you want to call yourselves.

00:00:36Marc:What the fuckstables?

00:00:38Marc:All right, that's enough.

00:00:39Marc:I'm Mark Maron.

00:00:40Marc:This is WTF.

00:00:41Marc:What the fuck with Mark Maron?

00:00:42Marc:That is me.

00:00:43Marc:All right, there we go.

00:00:44Marc:How are you?

00:00:46Marc:Can I just keep delivering things like this in this tone of voice?

00:00:50Marc:Is that Jewy?

00:00:51Marc:Is this a Jewy thing to do?

00:00:53Marc:How are you?

00:00:54Marc:Ah, so easily can I drift into that.

00:00:57Marc:We could talk about that, but you know what I'm being rude.

00:01:01Marc:How are you doing?

00:01:02Marc:Is everything okay with you?

00:01:03Marc:Are we good?

00:01:05Marc:I'm glad to hear that.

00:01:07Marc:Thank you.

00:01:08Marc:Thank you for listening, and thank you for asking.

00:01:10Marc:The Jew thing.

00:01:11Marc:Today's a good day to talk about the Jew thing, kind of.

00:01:14Marc:Yeah, why not?

00:01:15Marc:Arise Barr is my guest today.

00:01:17Marc:For those of you who listened to the old show, the Marc Maron Show and its Brief Life here on KTLK, she played Svetlana, Svetlana the Russian Prostitute, and now she has a web series.

00:01:31Marc:which can be found at www.svetlanasworld.com, S-V-E-T-L-A-N-A-S world.com, every Wednesday at 8 p.m.

00:01:43Marc:on HDNet.

00:01:45Marc:Yeah, you can get the dirty version at the website I just gave you.

00:01:49Marc:But she's very talented, an amazing comedic actress, and a Jew.

00:01:54Marc:Very much so, a Jew.

00:01:55Marc:And I need to talk to her about that because she did a show that I saw in Edinburgh years ago was the only fun thing or and or great thing that I saw there.

00:02:04Marc:One woman show where she played several characters.

00:02:08Marc:It was in a I believe it was a cafe in Tel Aviv or Jerusalem.

00:02:12Marc:I can't remember.

00:02:13Marc:I'll ask her.

00:02:15Marc:And she played all these different characters.

00:02:17Marc:She played a young American Jew.

00:02:19Marc:She played an older Jew.

00:02:21Marc:She played a mother waiting for her son.

00:02:24Marc:The whole show takes place just before a suicide bomber blows himself up in this cafe.

00:02:34Marc:And she played all the characters, including the terrorist.

00:02:37Marc:And it was powerful, man.

00:02:38Marc:I mean, it was fucking powerful.

00:02:40Marc:I believe that she did the show at the United Nations.

00:02:45Marc:I will talk to her about this.

00:02:46Marc:I don't really always know how to talk about the Middle East, but she was on her way to Israel the last time I talked to her.

00:02:54Marc:And...

00:02:55Marc:Well, it's a way to talk about it, because, look, you know, as a Jew, I'm an American Jew.

00:03:01Marc:I'm in I'm in cultured.

00:03:03Marc:Is that the word in culture?

00:03:05Marc:Jewish.

00:03:06Marc:You know, I believe that I have Jewiness in me.

00:03:09Marc:I believe I know other Jews.

00:03:11Marc:I believe there's a unity to Jews.

00:03:13Marc:I'm not saying it's exclusive or that we're special or anything else.

00:03:17Marc:I have not experienced a tremendous amount of anti-Semitism.

00:03:19Marc:I've discussed the Arby's incident on this show before.

00:03:22Marc:The horrendous Arby's sauce incident, as it will be known from here on out.

00:03:26Marc:The Arby's incident, I think.

00:03:28Marc:I did experience some anti-Semitism at summer camp when I was a kid.

00:03:32Marc:I went to sort of a cowboy summer camp, and I believe a guy named Mike.

00:03:35Marc:Mike, I think I even know his last name.

00:03:38Marc:Oklahoma kid.

00:03:40Marc:Really thought that we had horns, and I was sorry to disappoint him.

00:03:44Marc:But I do have a certain sense.

00:03:45Marc:I think I do about who's a Jew, who isn't a Jew, what is Jewy, what isn't Jewy.

00:03:51Marc:Weird thing happened.

00:03:52Marc:I'll tell you what happened because it happened today.

00:03:53Marc:I'm trying to be a neighborhood guy.

00:03:57Marc:You know, I'm trying to it seems like my neighborhood, something's happening in my neighborhood.

00:04:02Marc:It seems that there are businesses popping up.

00:04:04Marc:I like to go down to Cafe de Leche, talk to Matt and Anja.

00:04:08Marc:They own that place.

00:04:09Marc:And it's a great coffee shop.

00:04:11Marc:And I go there in the morning to meet my buddy Steve once a week to talk shit.

00:04:14Marc:And the place is packed.

00:04:16Marc:It's filled with people of all kinds.

00:04:18Marc:Hipsters, Latinos from the neighborhood, people that look like they live in their truck.

00:04:23Marc:You know, the standard sort of array of people.

00:04:25Marc:And I've been driving down past this place on York called the Society of Spectacle for about five years now.

00:04:30Marc:Since I've lived here, let's make it seven years.

00:04:32Marc:I've never walked into the place.

00:04:34Marc:Eyeglass store.

00:04:35Marc:I figured, what can an eyeglass store have in Highland Park?

00:04:38Marc:And I had gone to Oliver Peoples in Hollywood because they had a sale.

00:04:41Marc:So I bought some new frames.

00:04:42Marc:So I needed to know where I could get my eyes examined to get a new prescription.

00:04:46Marc:So I went into Society of Spectacle and they had every beautiful fucking store in Highland Park.

00:04:52Marc:I'm thinking, what are you kidding me?

00:04:53Marc:And I didn't want to buy there.

00:04:54Marc:I felt bad that I already bought the frames, but I needed a reference for an optometrist.

00:04:58Marc:to get my eyes done hoping to find a neighborhood dude so i asked a woman there and she had a picture of maria bamford up in the store with her cds maria bamford also a neighborhood gal highland park shout out here in the house whatever so i said you know an optometrist she goes yeah there's a guy right down on new york so i put his card in my wallet and today i went down there and

00:05:22Marc:And I'd been driving by this place every day of my life that I'm in town for the past seven years.

00:05:27Marc:Big hand-painted sign optometrist.

00:05:30Marc:Never thought to go in there.

00:05:33Marc:Maybe it was a little prejudice.

00:05:34Marc:I figure hand-painted sign, not for me.

00:05:37Marc:It's a nice hand-painted sign.

00:05:39Marc:But she told me this guy's groovy.

00:05:40Marc:This guy's cool.

00:05:41Marc:Go see him.

00:05:42Marc:All right?

00:05:43Marc:Go see Dr. Elliot Kane.

00:05:45Marc:He's a trumpet player.

00:05:46Marc:And I'm like, all right, everyone's got a story.

00:05:50Marc:So today I go in there to get my eyes checked, and sure enough, this guy's got old jazz records all over the office, not laying out as if he's in the middle of playing them, but put up on the wall, like oldies.

00:06:01Marc:Can't remember the titles right now.

00:06:03Marc:So the dude calls me in, and he's probably in his early 60s, and I'm not going to say he looks Jewy because that's wrong, but I was wondering, first name Elliot, second name Kane, that didn't sound...

00:06:16Marc:Too Jewy to me.

00:06:18Marc:But we sit down and he asked me what I did.

00:06:20Marc:I said, I'm a comic.

00:06:20Marc:He said, yeah, I love comedians, man.

00:06:22Marc:I mean, they swing, you know.

00:06:23Marc:He's talking with that thing.

00:06:25Marc:You know, like my mother's boyfriend talks with that kind of groovy 60s slang hep talk.

00:06:30Marc:And I'm like, right on.

00:06:31Marc:He goes, yeah, I wanted to be a comic.

00:06:32Marc:I do a little of that myself.

00:06:34Marc:In my other life, I'm a...

00:06:35Marc:You know, I'm a jazz musician.

00:06:37Marc:I'm a trumpeter.

00:06:38Marc:Play trumpet.

00:06:39Marc:And I go, that sounds cool.

00:06:40Marc:He goes, yeah, man, I tell you, when I was younger, you know, listen, those Lenny Bruce records changed my life, changed my life.

00:06:46Marc:And I'm like, wow.

00:06:47Marc:I go, where are you from?

00:06:48Marc:He goes, well, I grew up in Indiana and went to school in Indiana when I got into the jazz thing.

00:06:53Marc:And I remember.

00:06:54Marc:You know, I actually got to have lunch with Sally Marr, Lenny Bruce's mom.

00:06:58Marc:I'm like, yeah, I'm familiar with Sally Marr.

00:07:00Marc:And he tells this long story about someone he met at a gig who knew Sally Marr.

00:07:04Marc:He started talking about Lenny.

00:07:06Marc:He started dropping words like hip and habit, you know, instead of strung out or a junkie.

00:07:11Marc:Yeah, he had a habit.

00:07:12Marc:He said, yeah, when I was younger, my dad owned a pharmacy.

00:07:15Marc:And it's interesting because there used to be these black winos used to hang around at the pharmacy.

00:07:19Marc:But because they knew my dad, because that neighborhood, they spoke Yiddish pretty good.

00:07:22Marc:And I'm thinking, really?

00:07:23Marc:I said, really?

00:07:24Marc:They spoke Yiddish?

00:07:24Marc:Yeah, pretty good.

00:07:25Marc:Pretty good.

00:07:26Marc:So there was that.

00:07:27Marc:There was that Jew thing.

00:07:28Marc:There was that Jew thing in Indianapolis.

00:07:30Marc:There was a Jew thing in Indianapolis.

00:07:31Marc:This guy brought to Highland Park, this jazz trumpeter, who's now my optometrist, saying things like, is it better now?

00:07:37Marc:How about now?

00:07:38Marc:Is it better now?

00:07:40Marc:How about now?

00:07:41Marc:And this guy's got this whole life.

00:07:43Marc:This guy's got this whole life.

00:07:44Marc:You know, we're talking jazz.

00:07:46Marc:We're talking black dudes that can speak Yiddish.

00:07:47Marc:We're talking his dad owning a small pharmacy in Indianapolis.

00:07:51Marc:That was gone now.

00:07:52Marc:The building was gone.

00:07:53Marc:And then as I'm walking out, he gives me his CD.

00:07:57Marc:Hippie Chicks on Acid.

00:07:59Marc:The Elliot Kane Sextet.

00:08:01Marc:Live at Alva's.

00:08:03Marc:Now I got this guy with this whole backstory, and I'm thinking, why the hell didn't I have the mics?

00:08:07Marc:Who the hell knew that I'd go to an optometrist that I automatically thought was some sort of ghetto business, some sort of a barrio operation because of a hand-painted sign, to meet this interesting dude who had lunch with Sally Marr, sat in with some big session dudes, got his jazz CD, played it, it grooves, it's bebop, it's real shit.

00:08:27Marc:This whole backstory.

00:08:28Marc:This guy's an optometrist in my neighborhood.

00:08:31Marc:I don't know why that amazes me.

00:08:33Marc:And then the Jewish connection, you know, the whole Yiddish thing.

00:08:36Marc:Then I all of a sudden started thinking, like, are there Jews in Indianapolis?

00:08:39Marc:I guess there were Jews that might have migrated there during the great Jewish migration to Indianapolis.

00:08:43Marc:I know there are Midwestern Jews.

00:08:45Marc:Then all of a sudden I feel this weird Jewish connection.

00:08:47Marc:But the weird thing about my Jewish thing is I never felt that thing when I went to Israel.

00:08:51Marc:I mean...

00:08:52Marc:I spent two weeks in Israel and it was it was horribly frightening to me.

00:08:55Marc:It's hard for me to understand the nuances of the politics there.

00:08:59Marc:I know it's a powder keg.

00:09:01Marc:I still don't really know how to talk about it because you're brought up as a middle class Jew.

00:09:05Marc:Israel is the end all be all.

00:09:07Marc:Israel is it.

00:09:08Marc:And then I got there and I'm like, I'm nervous and I don't know what the hell is going to happen.

00:09:12Marc:And I and I can't I don't seem to have good Judah in Israel.

00:09:15Marc:Is everybody Jewish or how come I don't like Israelis that much?

00:09:20Marc:And I get uncomfortable.

00:09:22Marc:I don't know what the solution is.

00:09:24Marc:The Israelis treat the Palestinians pretty badly, obviously horrendous.

00:09:28Marc:Then there's the other side of it where Israel has to maintain its statehood because it fought for it.

00:09:32Marc:It's a little piece of land in between all these Arab countries that want to see it killed.

00:09:37Marc:I don't I don't know how to have the conversation.

00:09:39Marc:And it's I get nervous having the conversation.

00:09:42Marc:So I'm hoping with a Reese here that we can maybe.

00:09:46Marc:Talk about that a little bit.

00:09:49Marc:Am I being too Jewy?

00:09:50Marc:I'm definitely, you know, I come from American Delhi Jews.

00:09:54Marc:I don't come from Israeli fighting Jews.

00:09:58Marc:Delhi Jews, math Jews, that's what I come from.

00:10:04Thank you.

00:10:09Marc:Of course, I know you from your work on Curb Your Enthusiasm.

00:10:14Marc:I used to do character work with you.

00:10:16Guest:Yes, well, Svetlana was born on your show.

00:10:19Marc:We invented it?

00:10:20Guest:No, no, no.

00:10:21Guest:She was roaming the streets, but, you know.

00:10:24Marc:But that was her debut?

00:10:25Guest:Yeah.

00:10:26Marc:Svetlana, the Russian prostitute?

00:10:29Guest:Exactly.

00:10:30Guest:The Jewish?

00:10:31Guest:No, no, she's not Jewish.

00:10:33Guest:That way I can make fun of Jews.

00:10:34Guest:Do you know what I mean?

00:10:34Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:10:34Guest:It's a little more risque when...

00:10:36Marc:So in my garage right now, Arise Barr, who is a Jew.

00:10:46Guest:Jewess.

00:10:47Marc:And an actress that you may have seen as the orthodox girl on Curb Your Enthusiasm.

00:10:55Marc:Did you go on a date with Larry?

00:10:56Guest:No, no, no.

00:10:57Guest:I was stuck on a ski lift with Larry.

00:10:59Marc:That was the whole episode, right.

00:11:00Guest:And then I get a boob job an episode later.

00:11:02Marc:Okay, yeah, you were also one of the women in the Cable Guy movie.

00:11:08Guest:Yeah, Larry the Cable Guy health inspector.

00:11:09Marc:That was a big part, though.

00:11:11Guest:Yeah, it was a lead with him.

00:11:12Guest:It was me and him.

00:11:13Marc:And you thought, did you think at that time this is it?

00:11:15Guest:No, I never think this is it.

00:11:17Guest:I mean, really, is anything it, you know?

00:11:19Marc:You've really been able to not think that?

00:11:21Guest:Yeah, you hope it.

00:11:22Guest:You don't think it.

00:11:23Marc:Oh, okay.

00:11:23Guest:That's always fun.

00:11:24Marc:There's a difference.

00:11:24Guest:Yeah, of course.

00:11:25Guest:You pretend to not be disappointed.

00:11:26Guest:You're like, well, I didn't expect it anyway.

00:11:28Marc:So the first time, I can't even remember how we met.

00:11:30Marc:Can you?

00:11:31Guest:Um, I think we met at, I don't know how we met.

00:11:35Guest:We met at Home Depot?

00:11:36Marc:Was it, I mean, it was probably, I was with Mishnah maybe.

00:11:39Guest:Did you know her?

00:11:40Guest:No, no.

00:11:40Marc:But I mean, I don't remember how it became this thing where you did these characters on my show and I believed in you.

00:11:45Guest:I know, and then he was like, oh, I think maybe you came to see my one woman show.

00:11:48Marc:No, I didn't see that until I was in Scotland.

00:11:50Guest:That's weird.

00:11:51Marc:Like you were just sort of like, I do characters and I'm like, okay.

00:11:54Guest:Come do a character in this.

00:11:55Guest:What do you got?

00:11:56Guest:Yeah.

00:11:57Guest:And then Svetlana was born people love that though people asked me about Svetlana and then I had it you know after that I got a gig on NPR and then I was too dirty and they took me off What was the gig on NPR?

00:12:08Guest:It was Svetlana doing like two minute political commentary but you know it was during all and you know she's dirty she's a whore right so I talk about you know vibrators and Ahmadinejad and they put me on during all things considered so they'd be like

00:12:18Guest:You know, savage genocide in Rwanda.

00:12:20Guest:And now Svetlana.

00:12:21Guest:I'm like, hello.

00:12:22Guest:You know, it just didn't mesh.

00:12:23Guest:So I think some older listeners took offense.

00:12:25Marc:You mean all their listeners took offense?

00:12:27Guest:Probably, yes.

00:12:28Guest:Everybody that doesn't have sex took offense.

00:12:29Marc:What are they going to do to try to get people to not see that NPR as this old people thing?

00:12:35Guest:Yeah.

00:12:35Guest:It's tricky.

00:12:36Guest:They pretty much said, you know, take your whoring elsewhere.

00:12:39Marc:And that was it?

00:12:40Guest:Well, that was pretty much it for NPR.

00:12:42Marc:How many segments did you do with NPR?

00:12:43Guest:I don't know.

00:12:44Guest:I did a couple months.

00:12:45Guest:And it's, I mean, writing a tight two minute is much more challenging than rambling on aimlessly.

00:12:50Guest:Sure.

00:12:51Guest:Riffing.

00:12:51Guest:Yeah.

00:12:52Guest:Riffing.

00:12:52Guest:Exactly.

00:12:53Marc:Putting it together where the jokes are there.

00:12:55Guest:It's all sculpted and tight.

00:12:56Guest:And I talk fast.

00:12:57Guest:So I think that also a lot of the people over 40.

00:13:00Guest:Yeah.

00:13:01Guest:So, all right.

00:13:01Marc:So.

00:13:02Marc:Now, the interesting thing about you, one of the many things is, is that you're going to Israel.

00:13:08Marc:Like, you're one of the few people I know that I call and you're like, I'm going to Israel for a month.

00:13:12Marc:If anyone else would say that to me, I'd be like, why would you do that?

00:13:15Marc:But you come from there.

00:13:16Guest:Well, I lived there.

00:13:17Guest:I mean, I was born in New York, but when I was 13, I moved there.

00:13:19Guest:And I've been I lived there.

00:13:21Guest:I did the army, the whole thing.

00:13:22Guest:And then I came back.

00:13:23Marc:Do you look at it like that?

00:13:24Marc:Like, I did the thing.

00:13:25Marc:I did the army.

00:13:26Marc:I had to do it.

00:13:26Guest:You do the thing.

00:13:27Guest:I mean, yeah, you do the thing.

00:13:28Marc:Your parents are there?

00:13:29Guest:My mom is there.

00:13:30Guest:Some cousins.

00:13:31Marc:Yeah.

00:13:31Guest:You know.

00:13:32Marc:So how old were you when you go into the Israeli army?

00:13:34Guest:18, right after high school.

00:13:36Marc:So you were, okay, so you're 13.

00:13:37Marc:You moved there.

00:13:38Guest:Yes.

00:13:38Marc:You were bat mitzvahed in Israel?

00:13:39Guest:I was bat mitzvahed in the Bronx.

00:13:41Marc:In the Bronx, and then you go to Israel.

00:13:42Guest:Got the checks.

00:13:43Guest:Yeah.

00:13:44Marc:Why would they go?

00:13:45Marc:That's a silly question.

00:13:46Guest:My parents are Israeli.

00:13:47Guest:Okay.

00:13:47Guest:And they had a horrible divorce, and then suddenly mom's like, we're going back to the motherland, and then she took me there with her.

00:13:52Marc:And as an American citizen, though, I mean, you still had to go into the Army?

00:13:57Guest:Well, I'm a dual citizen.

00:13:59Guest:Okay.

00:13:59Guest:And you kind of want to.

00:14:00Guest:When everybody else is going, you're like, this, you know, it's one of the things like, this will be cool.

00:14:03Guest:And then after a week, you're like, this is not cool.

00:14:04Marc:You get a gun, an outfit.

00:14:05Guest:I had, yeah, Uzi, the uniform, you know what I mean?

00:14:08Guest:Makes your ass look good.

00:14:09Guest:Yeah.

00:14:10Guest:And it's fun for, you know, basic training.

00:14:12Guest:Like, this is so cool.

00:14:14Guest:Yeah.

00:14:15Guest:But I always got in trouble.

00:14:15Guest:I was not a good trainee.

00:14:17Guest:No, because you kind of have to wait until they give you an order that you can eat.

00:14:21Guest:And I would always be so fucking hungry.

00:14:22Guest:Can I say?

00:14:22Marc:sure you can say whatever you want anyway and i would always start eating so they made me run laps at night and i couldn't go to bed when everybody went to bed i mean i was not because i was rowdy and undisciplined just because i was hungry yeah i didn't want to wait i just like for me the idea of going into the army especially in the israeli army where you know the possibilities at that time of seeing action yes were relatively good as just something you you do is horrifying

00:14:46Guest:Well, I mean, I have to be honest.

00:14:48Guest:I wasn't in combat.

00:14:50Guest:I pretend I was.

00:14:51Guest:It makes it sound better.

00:14:52Guest:Oh, do you?

00:14:53Guest:Well, no.

00:14:53Guest:I mean, if you want to sleep with a guy, you're like, yeah, and then you plug up the Uzi thing.

00:14:57Guest:But literally, I was at a base about nine minutes from my house.

00:15:00Guest:I was working night shifts at a bar at the same time.

00:15:03Guest:So it wasn't this enveloping military experience.

00:15:06Guest:right but is that part of the thing in israel that you can have a job and well i mean you're not supposed to have a job but i worked night shifts i was an intelligence so i'd be alone in a room listening to stuff and then i had a night off or a day off and then i'd end up working at a bar in tel aviv what do you mean listening to stuff well i can't talk about that really yeah oh my god you're sworn to secrecy for real yeah okay what happens if you talk about it

00:15:27Marc:Do you get taken in?

00:15:28Guest:Probably nothing, but I think I feel more important if I think something would happen.

00:15:32Guest:Do you know what I mean?

00:15:32Guest:They'd fly over.

00:15:33Guest:I mean, this was a while ago, so everything I've- Everything you know is- Is all defunct.

00:15:38Marc:Oh, really?

00:15:39Guest:Probably.

00:15:40Marc:Yeah.

00:15:40Guest:Not that much has changed, really, when you think about it.

00:15:42Marc:So when you go back to Israel, what do you do?

00:15:44Marc:To me, I went to Israel as a Jew that didn't care that much.

00:15:50Marc:It's not that I don't care about Israel, but there's this idea that was plowed into middle-class Jews in this country that Israel was essential to all of us.

00:15:59Marc:I mean, I understand that.

00:16:01Marc:But when I went, I didn't have some monumental, like, I belong here moment.

00:16:06Guest:Well, you know, Tel Aviv is possibly the most secular, decadent city.

00:16:11Guest:It's like Rio with Jews.

00:16:12Guest:I mean, it's insane.

00:16:13Marc:Yeah, well, you see, that just went from fun to, oh, it's like Rio.

00:16:17Marc:Rio with Jews.

00:16:18Guest:Yeah, but, you know, but horny, horny Jews.

00:16:20Guest:Sure, no, I get it.

00:16:21Marc:Aggressive, horny Jews.

00:16:22Guest:And, you know, exactly.

00:16:25Guest:Yeah.

00:16:25Guest:Fighting in the bedroom.

00:16:26Marc:Yeah.

00:16:27Guest:During intercourse.

00:16:28Guest:Oh, absolutely.

00:16:29Guest:Is that it?

00:16:29Marc:Yeah.

00:16:30Marc:Is that all you got?

00:16:31Marc:Do me, you fuck.

00:16:31Guest:Yeah, so, but, you know, then you have the American Jews that come on these kind of, you know... Well, listen to this white condescension.

00:16:38Marc:I hear it.

00:16:38Guest:No, no, no, no.

00:16:39Marc:The American Jews.

00:16:39Guest:No, no, I don't mean that.

00:16:40Guest:We wouldn't exist without the American Jews.

00:16:42Guest:Right.

00:16:42Guest:Let's be honest.

00:16:44Guest:But they come in with the T-shirts and the Project Homeland or whatever.

00:16:47Guest:Right.

00:16:47Guest:And they're the gung-ho.

00:16:48Guest:You know what I mean?

00:16:49Guest:So it's a very strong discrepancy between the Israelis that live there that are kind of...

00:16:52Marc:jaded and and well i was fascinated with the history of all the different religions and cultures that came through israel and i you know and i i was fascinated with jerusalem you know tel aviv i didn't really get a sense of i wasn't there that long right but i like traveling i like seeing the the biblical you know monuments and i like seeing the history of uh of israel and also the amazing uh things that the settlers did with that country i mean they made a desert into a agricultural center yes it's true

00:17:19Guest:It's fucking amazing.

00:17:19Guest:No, it is amazing.

00:17:21Marc:Half the flowers in the world come from there, from Israel, from a desert.

00:17:24Marc:Right.

00:17:24Marc:And they have produce.

00:17:27Marc:They have citrus.

00:17:28Marc:Yes, they move water around.

00:17:30Guest:Yeah, they do.

00:17:30Guest:There's aqueducts.

00:17:31Marc:Did you do a kibbutz too, or once you do the army, you don't have to do a kibbutz?

00:17:35Guest:I mean, the kibbutz is now also defunct.

00:17:37Guest:I slept with guys from the kibbutz team.

00:17:38Guest:I had like a kibbutz fetish when I first moved to Israel.

00:17:40Guest:Ha ha!

00:17:41Guest:It felt very exotic to me.

00:17:42Guest:You know what I mean?

00:17:43Guest:It's like going to the Midwest and sleeping with a farm boy.

00:17:45Guest:And I was this girl from the Bronx.

00:17:48Guest:And I'd be like, oh, my God.

00:17:49Guest:And these guys, they'd never been outside the kibbutz.

00:17:51Guest:They didn't even know where New York was.

00:17:52Guest:And I'm like, this is so hot.

00:17:54Marc:What was the kibbutz?

00:17:55Marc:If people don't know, because this is a rare opportunity for me to talk about Israel without taking any real risks.

00:18:02Marc:because i'm here yes so i would take the risk well no you wouldn't take the risk right i mean it's no it's it's just a matter of i don't really know how to talk about it as a jew uh you know if you even you know engage in the conversation of israel it's a risk you feel like oh here we go what's where are we gonna where's this gonna go

00:18:19Guest:Yeah.

00:18:19Guest:Well, I don't want to say I think the problem is that you have the the two categories of American Jews.

00:18:23Guest:You have the ones that Israel can do no wrong and let's donate those dollars.

00:18:26Guest:Then you have the ones that are like, I'm embarrassed to be a Jew.

00:18:28Guest:You know, I'm embarrassed to be Israel.

00:18:30Guest:Yeah.

00:18:30Marc:The first group being the Republicans, you know, calling them Republican Jews.

00:18:33Guest:Yes.

00:18:33Guest:Republic.

00:18:34Guest:Well, not all.

00:18:34Guest:But I mean, you know, it's well, OK, fine.

00:18:37Guest:Republican Jews.

00:18:37Guest:But then you have the others that are hypercritical because, you know what I mean?

00:18:41Guest:Israel can do no right.

00:18:42Guest:Right.

00:18:43Guest:Israel is Sparta and they're hurting Nazis all over again, like the other extreme.

00:18:47Guest:And it's frustrating for me because, you know, every both groups give, you know, logical, reasonable people a bad name.

00:18:53Guest:It's very hard to find a middle of the road going, OK, well, we can critique some behaviors.

00:18:56Guest:Some behaviors are OK.

00:18:58Marc:That's because there is no middle of the road in Israel.

00:19:00Guest:Well, in

00:19:01Guest:Yeah.

00:19:01Marc:There are two sides yelling at each other.

00:19:03Guest:Right.

00:19:03Marc:And somehow or another, the country survives.

00:19:06Guest:Somehow.

00:19:06Marc:Yeah.

00:19:06Guest:Yeah.

00:19:07Marc:But let's get back to this kibbutz idea because, I mean, I'm not really completely clear.

00:19:12Marc:The kibbutz was an actual state funded or it was an actual movement.

00:19:17Guest:It was a movement, yes.

00:19:19Marc:To make Israel an agricultural center.

00:19:22Marc:The kibbutz is, they call it, what did Woody Allen call them?

00:19:24Marc:Socialist summer camps.

00:19:25Guest:Yeah, I mean, it's communal communal living.

00:19:27Guest:And, you know, they would that was yeah, when they start the kibbutz moment started a lot in a long time.

00:19:31Marc:But that'd be that sort of became was a predecessor to settlements in a way.

00:19:35Guest:Um, no, I don't think so.

00:19:37Guest:I mean, I don't think I think settlements, you mean like modern day, like West Bank settlements?

00:19:40Marc:Was the kibbutz like really put into place like here is a big chunk of land that is not been, you know, turned over.

00:19:47Marc:You know, we're going to put a kibbutz here and we're going to make this land work.

00:19:50Right.

00:19:50Guest:Well, I think that when they came, a lot of the kibbutzim back in the early, you know, in 1900s even, it was all swampland.

00:19:56Guest:So it wasn't so much like, okay, we're going to occupy this part and fuck everybody that lives here.

00:20:00Guest:You know what I mean?

00:20:01Guest:No, right, right, right.

00:20:02Guest:It's not the mentality.

00:20:02Guest:It was much more idealistic, and a lot of the people got along with the Arab neighbors that were there.

00:20:06Guest:I mean, it was a little more idealistic at the time.

00:20:07Guest:People really worked the land, and it was definitely the socialist idealists.

00:20:13Guest:And that worked well for many generations.

00:20:15Guest:And, you know, you had kibbutzim that did better and worse.

00:20:17Guest:You had rich kibbutzim.

00:20:18Guest:Sure.

00:20:18Marc:I remember visiting them and some of them you'd be like, oh my God, what a nice restaurant.

00:20:22Guest:And then you had all the volunteers from Sweden and Denmark, which were always a blessing, you know, and people would come from around the world from middle class.

00:20:27Marc:American Jews would go for the summer.

00:20:29Guest:But now, I mean, you know, over the last 15 years, probably people are like, well, how come we do the same amount of work and I get, you know, we do different amounts of work and he gets paid.

00:20:36Guest:Right.

00:20:36Guest:What I get paid.

00:20:37Guest:Right.

00:20:38Guest:Capitalism.

00:20:38Guest:You know, America... Israel tries to emulate America, but it comes at like a 20-year delay.

00:20:42Guest:Right.

00:20:42Guest:Like, people are now getting boob jobs.

00:20:44Guest:It's like a big thing now in Tel Aviv.

00:20:45Guest:Seriously.

00:20:46Guest:Like, back in the day, when I was growing up... Men, women, everybody.

00:20:48Guest:Boobs.

00:20:49Guest:Everyone's got boobs.

00:20:49Guest:Just facelifts and tanning.

00:20:50Guest:You know, it used to make fun of Americans, and now you see these fake tits everywhere, and I'm like, now you're catching on?

00:20:56Guest:I mean, it's kind of delayed...

00:20:57Guest:delayed response time.

00:21:00Guest:So people ended up wanting to, you know, especially with high tech internet, I mean, that's booming in Israel.

00:21:04Guest:So people saw opportunities and like, fuck the kibbutz, we're moving to Tel Aviv.

00:21:07Guest:All these young guys that thought that they could make, you know, it became very materialistic.

00:21:11Guest:It actually really veered away from the kibbutz ideal, which is sad.

00:21:14Guest:I'm kind of nostalgic.

00:21:16Marc:For the old Israel.

00:21:17Guest:Yeah, the olden days.

00:21:18Guest:Yeah.

00:21:18Guest:The olden days.

00:21:19Marc:Well, when you go back, I mean, do you have fears?

00:21:23Marc:Do you go back, or is it just... Because I know people who live in Israel.

00:21:26Marc:It's like, it's fine.

00:21:26Marc:It's fine.

00:21:27Marc:Nothing's happening.

00:21:28Marc:Right.

00:21:30Guest:Yeah, you don't feel it.

00:21:32Guest:I have friends that live where they are getting rockets.

00:21:34Guest:They do live near Gaza.

00:21:36Guest:That's a whole other thing.

00:21:37Guest:But Tel Aviv, you do feel like you're in a bubble.

00:21:39Marc:And that's where you're going?

00:21:40Marc:Yeah.

00:21:41Marc:And your mom's there, and you have friends there?

00:21:43Guest:I have some friends there.

00:21:44Guest:People in Israel procreate a lot earlier.

00:21:46Guest:So most people here, they're all in their 40s and bachelors and no children.

00:21:49Guest:They're like, hey.

00:21:50Guest:But in Israel, you know, anybody over 40 doesn't have three kids.

00:21:53Guest:Like, what's wrong with you?

00:21:54Marc:Even nonreligious people?

00:21:55Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:56Guest:They just pop them out.

00:21:57Marc:What do you think that's about?

00:21:58Marc:Do you think that's an Israeli thing that we need to keep making Jews?

00:22:02Guest:Probably.

00:22:02Guest:It's a very family-oriented society, you know, and I think that people, yeah, life is short.

00:22:09Guest:You might as well, you know.

00:22:09Guest:Have kids?

00:22:10Guest:Yeah, pop them out now.

00:22:11Marc:You might as well enjoy that?

00:22:11Guest:Yeah.

00:22:12Marc:And not be a guy who lives in the hills with cats like myself?

00:22:16Marc:I don't know about- I don't want to comment on that.

00:22:17Marc:I don't have kids.

00:22:18Marc:You don't have kids.

00:22:18Guest:I don't have kids either, and I have a cat.

00:22:20Marc:Do you feel the compulsion-

00:22:22Guest:I feel, you know, I feel compulsion and then, but it comes and goes.

00:22:26Guest:It comes in waves.

00:22:26Guest:I mean, it's not like a hypothetical compulsion, like I want to have baby.

00:22:29Marc:Yeah.

00:22:29Guest:You know what I mean?

00:22:30Guest:I don't think I'd have one on my own.

00:22:31Marc:But I mean, is your ovary saying that?

00:22:33Guest:Yeah, ovary's like, what the fuck are you thinking at this juncture?

00:22:35Guest:Let's go.

00:22:37Marc:We're drying up?

00:22:38Guest:No, but I think that I am a little more zen about it and be like, okay, you do want to find the right partner.

00:22:43Guest:I mean, not easy, especially not in LA.

00:22:46Marc:Yeah.

00:22:46Marc:Well, what is that?

00:22:47Guest:I went on a date the other day.

00:22:48Guest:I have 43 years old, three roommates.

00:22:51Guest:So I don't know anymore.

00:22:52Guest:I don't know anymore.

00:22:53Guest:And I don't want to start.

00:22:53Guest:You know what I mean?

00:22:54Guest:Dating in LA.

00:22:55Guest:Like, whatever.

00:22:56Guest:I'm not going to be that person.

00:22:57Marc:No, but I mean, okay.

00:22:58Marc:So you went on a date, but you just broke up with somebody, right?

00:23:00Marc:And it was miserable.

00:23:01Guest:Yes, it was miserable.

00:23:02Marc:All right.

00:23:02Marc:Well, if you're really kind of like fucked up about that, whatever dating you're doing now is just a relief dating.

00:23:08Guest:It was like, it took two weeks.

00:23:09Guest:It was like, it was like withdrawal from heroin.

00:23:11Guest:You know, you go through this.

00:23:12Marc:Well, that should tell you something.

00:23:13Guest:Yeah, no, you're right.

00:23:14Guest:Not healthy.

00:23:15Guest:Not good for you.

00:23:16Guest:Yeah, I know.

00:23:16Guest:So you go through, because I don't have any vices, really, except my hyperactivity.

00:23:21Guest:I do masturbate quite a bit.

00:23:22Guest:Yeah, well, that's nice.

00:23:23Guest:You know, I try.

00:23:25Guest:But, you know, I went through that very strong, visceral convulsion.

00:23:29Guest:I wasn't sleeping at night.

00:23:31Guest:I ended up watching Battlestar Galactica the entire four seasons in a week.

00:23:34Guest:Well, you were really fucked up, right?

00:23:35Guest:Yeah, I mean, it was like all night on my iPod.

00:23:36Guest:After you broke out.

00:23:37Guest:Masturbating watching BG.

00:23:38Guest:Yeah, because it was like the first two weeks, suddenly you're like, yeah.

00:23:41Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:23:41Guest:And then then it's just OK.

00:23:43Guest:I'm normal again.

00:23:43Guest:You know, but it takes it takes a while.

00:23:45Guest:You have to go through that kind of.

00:23:46Marc:I have a book I can recommend for you.

00:23:48Marc:It's not going to be pretty.

00:23:49Guest:Oh, what is it?

00:23:49Marc:It's Facing Love Addiction.

00:23:52Guest:Oh, Jesus.

00:23:53Guest:No, but I was single for years before.

00:23:55Guest:Like, I'm not the relationship to relationship person.

00:23:57Guest:I'm not that person.

00:23:58Marc:Yeah, I'm not either.

00:23:58Guest:I mean, I'm happy being alone.

00:24:00Guest:But then when I do get into something and I'm like, don't leave me and then I'm OK again.

00:24:04Guest:I'm alone again.

00:24:04Guest:So how crazy?

00:24:05Marc:How crazy did you get?

00:24:06Guest:I didn't get crazy.

00:24:07Guest:I don't get crazy.

00:24:08Marc:Really?

00:24:08Guest:Yeah, I don't.

00:24:09Guest:I know, but I'm a hybrid.

00:24:10Guest:Oh, okay.

00:24:10Guest:I'm like a Prius.

00:24:11Guest:Do you know what I mean?

00:24:12Marc:So there's a party that goes, you cannot leave me.

00:24:14Marc:And the other part's like, it's okay.

00:24:15Marc:I understand.

00:24:16Guest:I'm kind of shitty.

00:24:16Guest:Yeah, exactly.

00:24:17Guest:No, no, not the shitty part, but just the compassionate empath.

00:24:20Guest:Like, I understand what you're going through and you're not over your ex.

00:24:23Guest:That's okay.

00:24:24Guest:Do you know what I mean?

00:24:25Marc:He was that guy?

00:24:25Guest:Yeah, he was that guy.

00:24:26Guest:Oh.

00:24:27Marc:Yeah.

00:24:27Marc:Like an ex-wife?

00:24:28Guest:No, no, no.

00:24:29Guest:Oh, okay.

00:24:29Guest:No, no, not ex-wife.

00:24:30Guest:Just ex-girlfriend.

00:24:31Marc:So you went out with a 43-year-old girl or guy?

00:24:33Marc:A girl.

00:24:34Guest:What is, you know, it's funny.

00:24:35Guest:People do think I'm gay at times.

00:24:36Marc:No, I don't think you're gay.

00:24:37Guest:You're just Israeli.

00:24:38Guest:It's hard.

00:24:40Guest:There's a masculinity about you Israeli women.

00:24:42Marc:Some Israeli women have scared the fuck out of me.

00:24:44Marc:Not in a real way.

00:24:45Marc:Just sort of like, you know, they make me want to fight them.

00:24:48Guest:Right.

00:24:48Guest:No, there is.

00:24:49Guest:It's a cockfight.

00:24:50Guest:They're immediately like, yes.

00:24:51Guest:You're cockfighting with a chick.

00:24:51Guest:Yes.

00:24:52Guest:It's true.

00:24:53Guest:Yeah.

00:24:53Guest:It is.

00:24:53Guest:I think it's in one series.

00:24:54Guest:You know, it's Israeli men.

00:24:55Guest:I also find now I've gotten used to kind of mushy American men.

00:24:58Guest:Oh, not in a bad way.

00:24:59Guest:But then I go back to Israel and I'm like, Jesus, calm the fuck down.

00:25:03Guest:But they're like, welcome to Tel Aviv, bitch.

00:25:05Guest:You know what I mean?

00:25:05Guest:Like there's this harshness that's just a norm.

00:25:07Guest:So after a couple of months, I get back in that mode.

00:25:10Guest:I don't want to fight.

00:25:11Marc:But what's in there?

00:25:12Marc:What's in the Israeli man?

00:25:13Marc:Is there anything sensitive and loving or is it all just a complete alpha of insanity?

00:25:17Guest:No, it's a it's a it's a horrible.

00:25:21Guest:It's a horrible combination of of macho sensitivity.

00:25:24Guest:I'm sensitive.

00:25:25Guest:Do you know what I mean?

00:25:26Guest:It's yelling at you.

00:25:27Guest:Yeah.

00:25:27Guest:Look, I'm crying.

00:25:28Guest:I understand your feelings.

00:25:29Guest:You know, so it's but no, Israeli men are very emotional, actually very open about their feelings.

00:25:32Guest:Oh, really?

00:25:33Guest:Yes, yes.

00:25:34Guest:In general, yeah?

00:25:34Guest:In general.

00:25:35Guest:I mean, you see no shortage of soldiers crying.

00:25:38Guest:You don't see that.

00:25:38Guest:I think there's a misconception about... There really is a gross misconception about Israel.

00:25:41Guest:I mean, I do believe that.

00:25:43Guest:Okay.

00:25:43Guest:And about Israelis.

00:25:44Guest:But Israelis are tough and direct, and there's an abrasiveness, but you also know where you stand.

00:25:49Marc:Well, I think there's a confusion about Israel.

00:25:51Marc:I mean, it's like even as a Jew, like I've got...

00:25:53Marc:A big book that's just called Israel.

00:25:56Guest:I saw it.

00:25:56Guest:I saw it by Martin Gilbert.

00:25:58Marc:Yeah.

00:25:58Marc:And then there's one next to it, which is the other side.

00:26:02Marc:Martin Gilbert, I think, is a historian.

00:26:04Marc:Then the Jewish state, that's a fairly kind of radical Zionist interpretation, a modern sort of like Israel's survival is paramount to anything.

00:26:15Marc:We do whatever is necessary.

00:26:16Guest:Right.

00:26:16Marc:uh i i didn't read either one of them but as long as they're on the shelf yeah but i also have the old testament i mean i have a lot of things here classic hasidic yes i have martin buber's books you know uh yeah he's a yeah philosopher and then there's a kabbalah book there i think inner space is a high level sort of hasidic uh text uh and then major trends in jewish mysticism

00:26:38Marc:Oh, I have.

00:26:39Guest:Is that Gershom Schoen?

00:26:39Guest:Yes.

00:26:40Marc:Yeah, it's a great book.

00:26:41Guest:Yes.

00:26:41Marc:You know, if you can understand it.

00:26:42Marc:Yeah.

00:26:43Marc:And, you know, I have a fascination with it, but I don't educate myself well.

00:26:48Marc:And I just think that for most people, especially American Jews and certainly non-Jews, it's like it just seems like a big clusterfuck there.

00:26:54Guest:Well, it is a cluster.

00:26:55Guest:No matter how much you educate yourself, I think you only get more confused.

00:26:57Guest:I think the problem is people get engrossed in this history, what came first, you know, who came for the chicken or the egg kind of.

00:27:03Guest:Who was here?

00:27:03Guest:We were here 3,000 years ago.

00:27:04Guest:Well, who believes that book?

00:27:05Guest:We were here 20 years ago.

00:27:06Guest:Right.

00:27:07Guest:I mean, you know, and then there's the whole argument with, you know, the Palestinians being a conglomerate of people from Arab nations that came only 100 years ago.

00:27:14Guest:There's no end to it.

00:27:15Guest:I feel like, well, it's not helpful.

00:27:16Marc:Well, yeah, it's not helpful.

00:27:17Guest:Like, OK, this is a situation now.

00:27:19Guest:Forget what happened 10 years ago or 20 years ago or what.

00:27:22Guest:Who said what?

00:27:22Guest:I mean, it really becomes it's it's ridiculous at this juncture.

00:27:26Marc:But are you a political person?

00:27:28Guest:I try not to be, but I am.

00:27:30Guest:I mean, I'm confused.

00:27:31Guest:Just I admit that I'm confused.

00:27:33Guest:You know what I mean?

00:27:33Guest:I don't think the settlements are good.

00:27:35Guest:But I also think that they're made out to be worse than they should be.

00:27:38Guest:There's a way to work around.

00:27:39Guest:You know what I mean?

00:27:39Guest:It's it's confusing.

00:27:40Guest:I do believe there should be a Palestinian state.

00:27:42Guest:But is it terrifying and seems not feasible when you have two completely disparate groups and you have people that can't control their own people and you have like something simple like we, you know, we recognize the state of Israel.

00:27:53Guest:It's like one sentence.

00:27:54Guest:We can't even get that.

00:27:56Guest:And it seems like so simple.

00:27:57Guest:Just say it.

00:27:57Guest:Yeah.

00:27:58Guest:People can't even say that.

00:27:58Guest:So how can you have a feasible peace?

00:28:00Guest:You know, so it's that whole thing.

00:28:02Guest:And then people like, well, they just want to have a normal life.

00:28:04Guest:What are we doing?

00:28:05Guest:It's the whole it's just yeah, it's spirals.

00:28:07Guest:I'm getting dizzy just thinking.

00:28:08Marc:Well, it's just interesting that there is this conversation.

00:28:10Marc:There's this act of debate and that there are all these sides represented and that it seems to be an ongoing conversation that has real tenacity on all sides.

00:28:19Marc:And it really there is actual debate going on and people are sort of weighing these things out.

00:28:25Marc:Whereas in American politics, everything takes forever.

00:28:27Marc:The debate seems like bullshit.

00:28:28Guest:That's interesting.

00:28:29Marc:And most of American politics is corporate run shills.

00:28:32Marc:who are there to lie to their constituents in order to get what they want to get done, done.

00:28:37Marc:And the only time anything ever happens is if something explodes and, you know, people get truly angry.

00:28:43Marc:Where in Israel, it just seems like it's constantly some level of anger and that there's an aggressive debate around every movement.

00:28:49Guest:It's definitely not passive-aggressive.

00:28:50Guest:I think that's... You always know what you're getting.

00:28:52Guest:So even, you know, it's hyper-aggressive.

00:28:53Guest:But you always... This person... There's no shortage of honesty.

00:28:56Marc:I don't even understand how the Jewish government works.

00:28:58Marc:I mean... Yeah.

00:28:58Guest:Well, nobody does.

00:28:59Guest:Yeah.

00:29:00Guest:I mean, you know...

00:29:00Marc:But you did this amazing show that I saw in Edinburgh, which really dealt with a lot of these issues.

00:29:07Guest:Yeah.

00:29:08Marc:Through characters.

00:29:09Guest:Yeah.

00:29:09Marc:And it really is an amazing show.

00:29:10Guest:Thank you.

00:29:11Marc:And I don't even know how I would describe it.

00:29:14Marc:It all takes place in a single scene.

00:29:17Guest:Yeah, it's 11 people in a Tel Aviv coffee shop right before a suicide bomber enters.

00:29:20Marc:And you play all 11 people.

00:29:22Marc:Yes.

00:29:22Marc:And what are those characters?

00:29:23Guest:All 11?

00:29:24Guest:Well, there's a reporter, a British reporter, who's their report.

00:29:28Guest:She's kind of a Christian Amanpour.

00:29:29Guest:She doesn't want to do the peace on Israelis.

00:29:30Guest:She's like, why would I care about these guys?

00:29:32Guest:I want to care about the victims.

00:29:34Guest:And so she interviews all these people, and each person dies in the bombing.

00:29:36Guest:So you're kind of sitting there, as you remember, in the space.

00:29:38Guest:Yeah, the end of it is just horrendous.

00:29:40Guest:But it's more sociological than a political piece.

00:29:43Guest:It's people with different viewpoints.

00:29:44Guest:I didn't come out.

00:29:44Guest:I'm not here to hammer anybody over the head.

00:29:46Guest:I'm trying to explore it myself.

00:29:48Guest:We have an aging kibbutznik whose son doesn't want to get drafted.

00:29:51Guest:He wants to move to New York to clean carpets because, as you know, many Israelis end up working in the moving business and cleaning carpets for some odd reason.

00:29:57Marc:Yeah, and contrary to, I had to learn a horrible lesson when I was working at a delicatessen in Boston in college that not all Jews are good people.

00:30:08Guest:Tough truth to handle, isn't it?

00:30:10Marc:Yeah, when you're young and idealistic.

00:30:12Marc:I don't know why I didn't realize that, you know, given that Bugsy Siegel and Meyer Lansky.

00:30:16Guest:All Jews are not good people.

00:30:17Guest:I love it.

00:30:19Guest:So there's the report.

00:30:20Guest:There's an Israeli expat who lives in New York, and a lot of Israelis kind of flee.

00:30:24Guest:You know, I mean, there's definitely a strong diaspora.

00:30:26Marc:It goes both ways.

00:30:28Marc:You get people that become very religious, like my brother, or maybe even ultra-Orthodox, and then they grew up in Brooklyn, and the next thing you know, they're in a settlement somewhere.

00:30:36Guest:Well, most of the settlers are American Jews from whatever Borough Park, and most of Jerusalem is like young Americans.

00:30:41Guest:You don't see, you hardly see any Israelis in Jerusalem.

00:30:44Marc:But that's funny that just as many come this way, too.

00:30:45Marc:What do they usually leave for?

00:30:47Guest:Well, I think they leave, you know, it's a stressful place.

00:30:49Guest:Income tax is ridiculously high.

00:30:51Guest:There's stress.

00:30:52Guest:There's the reserves.

00:30:52Guest:You know what I mean?

00:30:53Guest:If you're a man, you do the reserves until you're like 40.

00:30:55Marc:So you can always be called to war.

00:30:57Guest:Always, always.

00:30:58Guest:You leave work for a month.

00:30:59Guest:I mean, there's no, you know, and people also, it's, you know, financial, you know, now it's like a brain drain.

00:31:04Guest:You have all these guys that end up moving to, you know, Silicon Valley.

00:31:06Guest:It used to be that, yeah, people, a certain class of Israelis would come and end up working and moving or working in jewelry or whatever it was.

00:31:12Guest:But now you have these brilliant guys coming in.

00:31:14Marc:Musicians too.

00:31:15Guest:A lot of musicians.

00:31:16Guest:Yeah.

00:31:16Guest:There's a glass ceiling.

00:31:17Guest:I mean, it's a small country and you're, you know, you drive 10 minutes, you hit a border.

00:31:20Guest:Yeah.

00:31:20Guest:It's not like, let's go on a road trip.

00:31:21Guest:Yeah.

00:31:21Guest:What is a road trip?

00:31:22Guest:Yeah.

00:31:22Marc:Road trip.

00:31:23Marc:What is it?

00:31:23Marc:Like three, four.

00:31:24Guest:Let's go buy produce.

00:31:25Guest:Yeah.

00:31:25Guest:I mean.

00:31:25Marc:Three, four hours you can drive across the whole country, right?

00:31:27Guest:Yeah.

00:31:27Guest:You really go top to bottom.

00:31:28Guest:Yeah.

00:31:28Guest:I did that in a day.

00:31:29Guest:Yeah.

00:31:30Guest:You really cover the country in a day.

00:31:31Guest:Great.

00:31:31Guest:Check.

00:31:32Guest:Yeah.

00:31:33Guest:So people end up, you know, leaving and traveling and there's a bug too.

00:31:36Guest:Also after the army, you know, as I know, as you know, I wrote about that in my, in my book.

00:31:40Guest:Which book?

00:31:41Guest:Door Corps.

00:31:42Guest:You end up traveling through Asia.

00:31:43Guest:A lot of people do a lot of drugs.

00:31:45Guest:I didn't.

00:31:45Guest:I didn't do a lot of drugs.

00:31:46Marc:What are you afraid of?

00:31:47Guest:It's just lack of control.

00:31:49Marc:So wait, so you got out of the... Oh, really?

00:31:51Guest:No, I've experimented, but I've never like... So Door Corps is your first book.

00:31:56Guest:Yes.

00:31:57Marc:And that's about getting out of the army.

00:31:58Marc:And you went where in Asia?

00:32:00Guest:I went for six months.

00:32:01Guest:It was India, Vietnam, Thailand, Nepal, a little bit of Australia.

00:32:04Yeah.

00:32:04Marc:Did you get sick?

00:32:05Guest:Oh, I was like 80 pounds by the end of it.

00:32:08Guest:I get sick everywhere.

00:32:09Guest:I've been to every clinic in every country.

00:32:11Guest:I mean, literally.

00:32:12Guest:At one point, I was in India lying there, drooling on myself, and she said, you have two kinds of dysentery.

00:32:18Guest:You have Jardia, and you have three kinds of worms.

00:32:19Guest:I mean, you see the worms just crawling around in your fecal matter.

00:32:23Guest:Nice.

00:32:23Guest:And I'm like, great, let's go party in Manali.

00:32:25Guest:And I left, and I went up north to a rave in the Himalayas for three days.

00:32:28Guest:Really?

00:32:29Marc:Yeah.

00:32:29Marc:You were in India?

00:32:30Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:32:31Marc:Was it great?

00:32:31Marc:Oh, it was great.

00:32:32Guest:See, I want to go- It was 1994 and this was pre, this was hardcore.

00:32:37Guest:Oh, it was pre anything.

00:32:38Guest:Before Bangalore, pre-outsourcing.

00:32:41Guest:Right.

00:32:41Guest:You know what I mean?

00:32:41Marc:Yeah, yeah.

00:32:42Marc:There was no money anywhere.

00:32:43Guest:No, no.

00:32:43Guest:Except in the big houses.

00:32:44Guest:Just cows and, yeah.

00:32:45Guest:I mean, you had the millionaires, but I didn't access them.

00:32:47Marc:So you went to India and Nepal, you said?

00:32:50Guest:Nepal, Thailand.

00:32:51Guest:Yeah.

00:32:51Guest:A bunch of times.

00:32:52Marc:I hear Thailand's beautiful.

00:32:53Guest:It is.

00:32:54Guest:It's great.

00:32:54Marc:And I have no idea about that part of the world.

00:32:57Guest:Well, go.

00:32:57Marc:None.

00:32:57Marc:I was in China for two weeks.

00:32:59Guest:See, I didn't go to China.

00:33:00Marc:Yeah, China was a little gnarly.

00:33:01Marc:Yeah.

00:33:01Marc:Yeah, it's intense.

00:33:02Guest:Beijing was intense.

00:33:03Guest:Yeah, I can imagine.

00:33:04Marc:But it wasn't beautiful.

00:33:05Marc:I mean, the Great Wall was stunning.

00:33:07Marc:Yeah.

00:33:07Guest:But it's pretty- Well, in Thailand, you have the islands.

00:33:10Guest:You have up north.

00:33:11Guest:It's a user-friendly.

00:33:12Guest:You have the Thai girls.

00:33:13Guest:You got the sex shows.

00:33:13Guest:I mean, people go for that as well.

00:33:15Marc:Yeah, people go to have sex with children.

00:33:18Marc:That's what Thailand's popular.

00:33:20Guest:Or, you know, ladyboys, whatever.

00:33:21Guest:I had a banana spewed out.

00:33:23Guest:I went to the sex show and I went to the front row because I'm Israeli and I'm brave.

00:33:26Guest:Literally spewed out the banana out of her poon into my face.

00:33:29Guest:Really?

00:33:29Guest:Yeah.

00:33:30Guest:I went to get an AIDS test the next day.

00:33:31Guest:You did not.

00:33:31Guest:I did.

00:33:32Guest:I was ignorant.

00:33:32Guest:I didn't know.

00:33:33Guest:You know, at the time, young, you know, whatever.

00:33:35Guest:Can you get AIDS from AIDS?

00:33:37Guest:From a contaminated fruit and also get tested a day later.

00:33:40Guest:Like, it would instantly be...

00:33:41Marc:So you're crazy.

00:33:42Guest:Yeah, a little bit.

00:33:44Marc:But in a grounded way.

00:33:45Marc:No, no, it's nice.

00:33:47Marc:So, okay, so getting back to the show, you know, when I saw it in Edinburgh, I was not in great shape that trip.

00:33:53Guest:Were you not?

00:33:54Guest:Oh, emotionally.

00:33:55Guest:Yeah.

00:33:55Guest:You were going through hell.

00:33:56Guest:I remember.

00:33:56Guest:It was horrendous.

00:33:57Marc:Yeah, yeah, I remember that.

00:33:57Marc:And I don't know, you know, I probably, when you talked to me, I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do.

00:34:02Marc:Yeah.

00:34:02Marc:And I probably tried to fuck you.

00:34:04Guest:You did.

00:34:04Guest:Yeah.

00:34:04Marc:You did.

00:34:05Marc:So, really, how hard did I...

00:34:07Guest:Um, not hard enough to make me feel good about myself, but hard enough to be like, he's in dire straits.

00:34:12Guest:Do you know what I mean?

00:34:13Guest:Not that fucking me would intend, you know, would imply that you're in dire straits.

00:34:16Guest:Even if you're in great shape, I think you'd want to fuck me.

00:34:18Marc:I could not get through to you.

00:34:19Marc:Yeah.

00:34:20Marc:You know, I was like, I just dismissed it as like, I can't, these Israeli girls, they just don't like me and she's got other things.

00:34:26Guest:Oh my God.

00:34:27Marc:You wanted to, you know, I think you wanted to hang out with some guy who played hacky sack, some tall actor, Scottish guy, I don't remember.

00:34:32Guest:Oh, yes, there was the Scottish guy, but no hacky sack.

00:34:35Guest:Okay.

00:34:35Guest:But he was a man whore.

00:34:36Guest:He scared me.

00:34:36Guest:Talk about STD fear.

00:34:37Guest:I was like, you know what?

00:34:38Guest:Too much.

00:34:38Guest:Oh, yeah?

00:34:39Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:34:39Guest:That scared me.

00:34:40Marc:He was like a walking herpy.

00:34:41Marc:Yeah, that international theater circuit seems a little dirty.

00:34:44Guest:Where nobody bathes.

00:34:45Guest:And the teeth.

00:34:46Guest:Just the teeth are enough to horrify.

00:34:47Guest:I mean.

00:34:48Marc:They're like carnies.

00:34:49Guest:Yeah.

00:34:51Marc:You know, there's just these people that do these one man shows.

00:34:54Marc:They just keep changing the names of like, you know, an hour and 15 minutes of random material.

00:34:58Guest:Living in a barn in Provence.

00:35:00Marc:And doing a show there because it's part of the festival.

00:35:03Guest:Exactly.

00:35:06Guest:Nobody uses prophylactics.

00:35:08Guest:It's really.

00:35:08Guest:Yeah.

00:35:08Guest:And then they worry about teen pregnancy in England.

00:35:10Guest:I mean, it's just living in the Middle Ages.

00:35:12Guest:It really is.

00:35:13Marc:But when I went to see your show, I mean, I didn't know what to expect, and it was pretty horribly moving and emotional.

00:35:20Marc:So you've got the English reporter, you've got the old kibbutznik whose son is moving away.

00:35:25Marc:Who else is involved?

00:35:26Guest:I have a gay German furniture designer who falls in love with this Israeli guy.

00:35:30Guest:That was inspired by, when I was in high school, we went on kind of a Meet the Nazis tour.

00:35:34Guest:We had an exchange program at the German high school.

00:35:36Guest:And then we did...

00:35:38Marc:Meet the Nazis so you don't think they're Nazis.

00:35:40Guest:Yeah, well, we went, you know, it's so interesting because you go and you meet these, like, lovely German guys, you know, these kids.

00:35:45Guest:It's high school.

00:35:45Marc:Yeah.

00:35:46Guest:They're all about moving forward and, you know, kind of embarrassed about their history.

00:35:50Guest:But then, you know, so we go to all the camps together, which is awkward because it's like their grandparents.

00:35:55Guest:Yeah, you do Bergen-Belsen and, you know, didn't go to Auschwitz, but just Bergen-Belsen and then you, you know... Isn't Auschwitz in Poland?

00:36:01Guest:Yeah.

00:36:01Guest:Okay.

00:36:02Guest:So, you know, they...

00:36:04Guest:They're all about, oh, we're so sorry.

00:36:06Guest:It's all very comforting, even though we're crying and they feel awkward because I know that their grandma or grandpa opened the gates.

00:36:11Guest:And then at the end of the trip, we had a big discussion about Israel.

00:36:15Guest:Suddenly it got to Israel, even back then.

00:36:17Guest:And they're like, we're tired of talking about the Holocaust.

00:36:20Guest:It's not our fault.

00:36:21Guest:Suddenly the truth came out.

00:36:23Guest:You know what I mean?

00:36:24Guest:And it was interesting and kind of jarring.

00:36:26Marc:It was sort of like tough love.

00:36:27Marc:Like, get over it.

00:36:28Guest:Yeah, get over it.

00:36:29Guest:Like, we didn't have anything to do with it.

00:36:30Guest:And maybe you deserved it.

00:36:31Guest:No, but that didn't go there.

00:36:32Guest:But they probably thought that to some extent.

00:36:33Marc:Oh, sure.

00:36:34Marc:You are annoying.

00:36:35Guest:Yeah, exactly.

00:36:37Marc:I can't imagine how whiny it was at the camp.

00:36:41Guest:Yeah, so, you know, there was.

00:36:42Guest:And then I wrote.

00:36:44Guest:Door Corps came out in Germany.

00:36:45Guest:And it was a huge bestseller.

00:36:47Guest:And they brought me in for a book tour.

00:36:48Guest:This was two years ago.

00:36:50Guest:And I started in Munich, and I'd never been to Munich.

00:36:53Guest:And they take me, they pick me up in a car, and guess what street the hotel is on?

00:36:56Guest:Dachau Street.

00:36:58Guest:Now, I didn't know, they still call, can't you change the street name?

00:37:00Guest:I mean, isn't it time?

00:37:01Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:37:02Guest:Dachau Straße.

00:37:03Marc:Yeah.

00:37:04Marc:Who was Dachau?

00:37:04Marc:I mean, was he a guy?

00:37:05Guest:I don't know, but it's time, you know, call it whatever.

00:37:08Guest:Out of respect.

00:37:08Guest:Call it, yeah, Netanyahu Lane or something.

00:37:10Marc:Out of respect for the Jew that might be here on a book tour.

00:37:13Guest:Yeah.

00:37:13Marc:Can we change the street?

00:37:14Guest:Yeah, exactly.

00:37:15Guest:Yeah.

00:37:16Guest:And I said to him, I said, you know, I'm sorry, I feel a little awkward.

00:37:18Guest:And I teased him about it.

00:37:19Guest:I go,

00:37:19Guest:Oh, sending the Jew to Dachau.

00:37:20Guest:And they were so horrified.

00:37:21Guest:I loved it.

00:37:22Guest:This was tall, lengthy.

00:37:23Marc:Well, I think they changed all the streets that were, you know, Kike Lane is no longer there.

00:37:26Guest:Yeah, exactly.

00:37:27Marc:Dirty Jew Boulevard is gone.

00:37:28Guest:Dirty Jew, Big Nose Alley.

00:37:30Guest:Yeah, they changed all that.

00:37:32Marc:So what was the through line of Dorcor?

00:37:35Marc:I mean, why is it called Dorcor?

00:37:36Guest:Dorcor, I was a virgin to a relatively late age, intimacy issues.

00:37:42Guest:And when I went to Asia- They never go away.

00:37:44Guest:Well, no.

00:37:45Guest:i think they went away okay they did yeah enough work yeah um i'm sorry mark there's there's hope there's time uh and then i went to asia to kind of lose my that through line is losing my virginity like even through the army i had kind of a pseudo sexual experience where the guy was in for like a second so i didn't really call that losing my virginity do you know what i mean and he was big it was like a soup can i it hurt i stopped and then i was like i can't do this yeah i freaked out for the rest of my military experience yeah

00:38:10Guest:uh and so i kind of was a door core yeah i mean really and i went to asia and i didn't people like did you sleep with asian men i go no that wasn't the intention the intention was just going to asia backpackers you know that kind of but underneath you wanted to lose your virginity yeah i wanted to you know feel feel the love really it's all about looking for love isn't it i mean but looking for sex too yeah so it's get it over with exactly get it over with and actually enjoy it hopefully at some juncture well yeah

00:38:32Guest:That takes a little time.

00:38:34Guest:It does.

00:38:34Guest:So, you know, I went through Asia, and it was my sexcapades through Asia.

00:38:38Guest:And now I have a sequel coming out, which is my trip through South America.

00:38:42Guest:Oh, really?

00:38:42Guest:Which was a year later.

00:38:43Marc:Now, okay, so did you end up losing your virginity?

00:38:47Guest:I can't give away the end of the book there.

00:38:48Marc:Do you want to be a spoiler?

00:38:49Guest:No.

00:38:50Guest:There was a chapter involving a large cucumber, which did help.

00:38:54Guest:I'm not kidding.

00:38:54Guest:Yeah.

00:38:55Guest:I'm not kidding.

00:38:55Guest:I was like, you know what?

00:38:56Guest:I got to go and start big and then, you know.

00:38:59Marc:Maybe I got to open this thing up.

00:39:01Guest:Pave the way.

00:39:01Guest:Yeah, open it up.

00:39:02Guest:There's some sort of, you know, emotional chastity belt going on.

00:39:06Marc:There's some clenching going on.

00:39:09Guest:Was it vagina dentata?

00:39:10Guest:Yeah.

00:39:11Marc:Well, no, I hope there's no teeth.

00:39:12Guest:No.

00:39:13Marc:All right, so you got the German furniture designer who's in love with Israel.

00:39:16Guest:I have a... Who else do I have?

00:39:20Guest:I have an American soldier.

00:39:21Guest:This one was kind of autobiographical.

00:39:23Guest:Not really.

00:39:24Guest:I mean, not the details.

00:39:24Guest:An American soldier.

00:39:25Guest:American girl that goes to volunteer in the army.

00:39:27Guest:Okay.

00:39:27Guest:People do that.

00:39:28Guest:She's very young, and she thought she'd come into Israel and be loved and accepted by everybody, and she ends up being made fun of by the Israelis and not accepted.

00:39:35Guest:Were you?

00:39:36Guest:When I had a very heavy accent in Hebrew when I first moved there.

00:39:38Guest:So in eighth grade, it was pretty traumatizing.

00:39:40Guest:I was definitely like the American girl that, you know, couldn't fit in.

00:39:43Marc:Right.

00:39:44Marc:You had a New York accent.

00:39:46Guest:Well, no, I never had a New York.

00:39:47Marc:I mean... But you had an American accent.

00:39:48Guest:I had an American accent in Hebrew, which is very strong.

00:39:50Guest:I have since worked, you know... Oh, when you spoke Hebrew, they knew... Okay.

00:39:53Guest:It was hard.

00:39:54Guest:You couldn't pass.

00:39:54Guest:Yeah, I couldn't pass.

00:39:55Guest:They could smell me from a mile away.

00:39:58Guest:So there's that girl, and she ends up trying to connect with family and...

00:40:02Guest:So we have her.

00:40:03Guest:Who else do we have?

00:40:04Guest:Oh, we have Svetlana.

00:40:05Guest:She's in the show.

00:40:07Guest:Because there was a huge influx of Russian immigrants to Israel in the last 10 years.

00:40:10Marc:Right.

00:40:11Marc:Well, they released them.

00:40:12Marc:They released them into the... Yeah.

00:40:14Marc:Released the Russian Jews.

00:40:15Guest:And a lot of them were not Jewish, and they forged papers to come across as Jews.

00:40:19Guest:Oh, really?

00:40:20Guest:Yeah.

00:40:20Guest:So Svetlana's that person.

00:40:22Guest:Interesting.

00:40:22Marc:Because usually it goes the other way.

00:40:24Guest:Right.

00:40:24Marc:Usually people are like, not a Jew.

00:40:25Guest:That's a joke in the show.

00:40:26Guest:I mean, yeah, it's like, who heard of actually, you know, paying someone to make a document that says you are Jewish?

00:40:32Guest:That's an odd phenomenon.

00:40:34Guest:So you have that.

00:40:35Guest:You have a huge influx of Russians that really have changed the face, like Russians, Romanians, just Eastern Europeans.

00:40:39Guest:Besides the fact that they're now like these tall, gorgeous blondes roaming around Israel, which didn't happen before.

00:40:43Marc:Are they sort of adding to the gene pool?

00:40:47Marc:Are Israelis marrying them?

00:40:48Guest:In a very frustrating way.

00:40:49Guest:You know, yeah, Israeli men love it.

00:40:51Guest:They love it.

00:40:52Guest:I mean, you got these, because Israeli women, you know, they're not that tall, very pretty.

00:40:55Guest:Kind of big jugs.

00:40:56Guest:Always big jugs, usually.

00:40:57Guest:I'm the exception.

00:40:59Marc:Israeli women.

00:40:59Guest:Yeah, Israeli women.

00:41:00Guest:Kind of big ass.

00:41:00Guest:It's a healthy body.

00:41:02Marc:Swarthy.

00:41:04Guest:I don't know about swarthy.

00:41:06Guest:Swashbuckly.

00:41:06Guest:I don't know what it is.

00:41:07Guest:Not even buxom.

00:41:08Marc:Okay.

00:41:08Guest:Just healthy.

00:41:09Marc:Maybe I'm misusing the word swarthy.

00:41:11Guest:I don't know.

00:41:11Guest:I kind of want to look it up now.

00:41:12Guest:I don't know the definition.

00:41:13Guest:Look it up.

00:41:13Guest:Okay, go ahead.

00:41:14Guest:And then you have these statuesque Ukrainian Russian.

00:41:16Guest:Anybody who knows who's been to those places knows that these women are genetically blessed.

00:41:21Marc:Right.

00:41:21Guest:So, yeah.

00:41:22Marc:And they are sort of like they're marrying Israeli men.

00:41:27Guest:But Russian women are tough, too.

00:41:28Marc:Having dark complexion or color.

00:41:30Marc:oh so completely oh so okay okay naturally having skin of a dark color dark skin beauty but i think a lot of israeli women are swarthy if they come from a sephardic background exactly but yeah it's a beautiful i mean there's a nice ethnic mix there i think is women are very beautiful all right so you have svetlana in the cafe

00:41:46Guest:Yes, I have a Palestinian professor, one of my favorite characters, who lives in Ramallah and kind of tries to escape the muck and the mire and just have coffee once a week until they even pretend that she's kind of in Europe.

00:41:58Guest:You know what I mean?

00:41:58Guest:Right.

00:41:59Guest:And talks about the tragedy of her son, who's become more extremist.

00:42:01Guest:That's right, I remember this.

00:42:02Guest:Who lives in Gaza, doesn't want to come to the West Bank.

00:42:05Guest:And the tragedy of it, how she's trying to veer him away from extremism, but she can't.

00:42:10Guest:Right.

00:42:10Guest:He's got nothing going.

00:42:11Guest:I'm just trying to get the psychology of what drives people.

00:42:14Marc:To become a suicide bomber.

00:42:16Guest:Yeah, which there's always a better way, obviously.

00:42:18Guest:It's like, you know, well, a lot of people who have difficult conditions don't end up becoming suicide bombers.

00:42:22Guest:So it's not, you know, but you try and kind of explore the psychology of that.

00:42:24Marc:It's weird.

00:42:25Marc:I'm getting chills just thinking about that.

00:42:26Marc:That triggered the memory of the show because I don't remember a lot of the dialogue, but I remember that character.

00:42:33Guest:Yeah.

00:42:33Guest:Yeah, she's a very moving character.

00:42:34Marc:And she's there to meet her son.

00:42:36Guest:Yeah, and the son ends up being the suicide bomber.

00:42:37Marc:And kills his own mother.

00:42:38Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:42:40Guest:Which sparked controversy when I did the show.

00:42:43Marc:That's so fucking heavy, man.

00:42:45Guest:People go, well, he wouldn't do that.

00:42:46Guest:And other people, he would do that.

00:42:47Marc:I had a woman who was- Who was arguing with you, Muslims?

00:42:50Guest:Everybody.

00:42:51Guest:I mean, it depends.

00:42:51Guest:I did the show and I always had Q&A afterwards.

00:42:54Guest:I did the show at the UN.

00:42:55Marc:What do you mean you did it at the UN?

00:42:57Guest:I did it for over 100 ambassadors.

00:42:59Guest:It was unbelievable.

00:43:00Marc:Where, in the big room?

00:43:01Guest:In the big, the Dag Hammarskjöld or whatever the auditorium is.

00:43:04Guest:I did the full show, yeah.

00:43:06Marc:And ambassadors from where?

00:43:09Guest:Everywhere.

00:43:09Guest:I mean, a lot of the Arab ambassadors didn't come.

00:43:11Guest:They boycotted the show, which is always tragic.

00:43:13Marc:Aggressive?

00:43:14Marc:I mean, they just didn't come.

00:43:16Guest:They didn't come.

00:43:16Guest:Some of them RSVP didn't come.

00:43:18Guest:Some of them didn't come, which is frustrating because it really isn't like a, you know, it's a show that I've had a lot of Arabs come see the show and enjoy.

00:43:26Guest:I don't want to say enjoy, but appreciate it.

00:43:29Marc:Well, it's interesting that they'd make an argument about someone who is that disturbed, either for religious reasons or other reasons.

00:43:36Marc:I mean, there is arguments to be made that somebody who does that is disturbed in a lot of ways.

00:43:40Guest:Yeah, by our standards.

00:43:42Marc:Well, yeah, but the possibility that somebody would not have the type of illness that would enable him to do matricide.

00:43:52Guest:Yeah, but you could kill yourself.

00:43:53Guest:It's an interesting psychological, yeah.

00:43:55Marc:I mean, you know, there have been plenty of murderers that kill their mothers.

00:43:58Guest:Yeah, exactly.

00:43:59Marc:And there have been pretty, you know, plenty of mother-child relationships that are, you know, responsible for creating the psychology that may make somebody a killer.

00:44:07Guest:It depends how much you value human life.

00:44:08Guest:So if you don't see, you know, you don't value your life as much.

00:44:10Guest:You don't value others.

00:44:11Marc:It's a whole other- But I think as a metaphor, it works.

00:44:14Guest:Yeah.

00:44:14Guest:As a theatrical metaphor.

00:44:15Marc:Yeah, no, I mean, I- It's provocative, obviously.

00:44:17Guest:A lot of people didn't, you know, I think people were more moved by it and the tragedy of it.

00:44:20Guest:They didn't, but some people had issues with it.

00:44:22Guest:Not a lot.

00:44:22Yeah.

00:44:22Marc:what's interesting the issue would be like no he he wouldn't kill his own mother right but he killed 10 people that's right people that's right you know he would he would ask his mother to leave yeah exactly he wouldn't do that did you ever think of that possibility with the show where it's like he says you know you have to leave now no no i think that he completely alien he was completely alienated from his mother they weren't in touch he hated her he saw her as a traitor he saw her as the other side okay so then there is a religious foundation in in justification for killing the mother

00:44:47Guest:Yeah.

00:44:48Guest:Well, I mean, I don't think.

00:44:49Guest:Yeah, I think that it was a small price to pay for the final goal.

00:44:52Guest:But that really wasn't the issue.

00:44:53Guest:I mean, I didn't that didn't come into my mind that much until someone raised it.

00:44:56Guest:I was like, this guy's on a mission.

00:44:57Marc:Was there a conversation between the mother and the son in the cafe?

00:45:00Marc:I can't remember.

00:45:01Guest:He just walked in.

00:45:02Guest:She sees him and, you know.

00:45:03Guest:And that's it.

00:45:03Marc:Well, the thing is that... Oh, God, I remember it.

00:45:05Guest:It's horrifying.

00:45:06Guest:The initial... The play comes full circle.

00:45:08Guest:The initial... There's an American actress who's Latina who got cast to play this Israeli girl.

00:45:13Guest:And she's in Israel doing research.

00:45:14Guest:Right.

00:45:14Guest:She's this kind of dim, you know... Right.

00:45:16Guest:She tries to pass as... Because, you know, you have... I mean, even the new movie Moral...

00:45:20Guest:you know, Julian Schnabel's new film about Palestinian girl.

00:45:22Marc:I just heard him talking briefly.

00:45:23Guest:Well, Frida Pinto played the role and she's, she was in Slumdog Millionaire.

00:45:26Guest:So it's not, it's definitely Hollywood to have a Latina actress playing an Israeli girl.

00:45:31Guest:As long as you're swarthy and you're not, you're not pasty, then you're okay for any ethnicity.

00:45:35Guest:Sure.

00:45:35Guest:Um,

00:45:36Guest:And so in the screenplay, the suicide bomber enters the cafe, and he suddenly sees this girl, and they have a connection, and suddenly he's debating what to do.

00:45:45Guest:That's the debate, you know what I mean?

00:45:46Guest:And this woman who actually interviews failed suicide bombers, that's her gig.

00:45:50Guest:She's a therapist.

00:45:51Guest:She goes to these jails and interviews failed Palestinian suicide bombers.

00:45:54Marc:The woman in the air show?

00:45:55Guest:She came to see the show.

00:45:56Guest:Oh, okay.

00:45:56Guest:And she said, wow, that's really accurate.

00:45:57Guest:Sometimes these guys come in on their mission, they make some eye contact with another human being,

00:46:02Guest:It taps into something and says, whoa, wait a minute.

00:46:04Guest:You know, it's because you're not dehuman.

00:46:06Guest:Suddenly they're not dehumanized anymore.

00:46:08Guest:So then at the end, when the actual bomber comes in, the same thing plays out.

00:46:12Guest:So the mom watches as he walks in, doesn't know what he's about to do.

00:46:15Guest:He sees the girl who's still in the cafe.

00:46:17Guest:So, you know, it's all very meta.

00:46:18Guest:Yeah.

00:46:19Guest:Sees the girl.

00:46:20Guest:He debates, but he ends up.

00:46:22Guest:He ends up, obviously, pressing the button.

00:46:24Marc:So you're saying that the woman you spoke to who interviews suicide bombers, failed suicide bombers, says many times the reason they fail is they see a human being as a person.

00:46:32Guest:No, not many times, no.

00:46:33Guest:But I think she says it does happen where there's some sort of, it makes you question or it causes some pause.

00:46:40Guest:A lot of them they fail because the device didn't work.

00:46:42Guest:I mean, I think once you're in there.

00:46:43Marc:They just sit there smoking and going, ow, ow.

00:46:47Guest:I'm not going to respond to that.

00:46:49What?

00:46:50Marc:All right, so you're at the UN.

00:46:53Marc:Then you're about to perform for 100 ambassadors from all over the world.

00:46:57Marc:Like, what was any surprising responses?

00:47:00Guest:No, I mean, I think they were all very diplomatic.

00:47:04Guest:Did you do a Q&A?

00:47:04Guest:They didn't know.

00:47:05Guest:We had like a reception.

00:47:06Guest:There were cookies and pastries and then everybody left.

00:47:08Guest:You know what I mean?

00:47:09Guest:But people came to me after.

00:47:10Guest:The French delegate and there was, I think, Indonesian.

00:47:13Guest:I mean, people wrote to me and it was, I think, more powerful.

00:47:16Guest:This is so funny, but more powerful than the UN experience.

00:47:18Guest:I did the show for a high school in East L.A.

00:47:20Guest:Like, that to me was amazing.

00:47:22Guest:What was that audience like?

00:47:23Guest:Well, this teacher wrote to me and said, these kids have never been to theater.

00:47:27Guest:They have no idea where Israel is.

00:47:28Guest:Like, really just ignorant of all, you know, the entire situation.

00:47:32Guest:And I said, okay, bring them over.

00:47:33Guest:And I had done the show for high schools in New York.

00:47:35Guest:You know, a bunch of kids from the Upper West Side that kept texting the whole show.

00:47:39Guest:You know, talking.

00:47:39Guest:And I was like, I want these kids.

00:47:41Guest:I want all phones confiscated.

00:47:42Guest:I was imagining the worst.

00:47:43Guest:I'd have these rowdy kids from East L.A., you know, checking their messages.

00:47:47Guest:And she goes, no, they'll be fine.

00:47:48Guest:I'm like, okay.

00:47:49Guest:So they came to the theater.

00:47:50Guest:And you could hear a pin drop.

00:47:52Guest:They were so respectful.

00:47:53Guest:I mean, these guys had never been in a theater.

00:47:54Guest:They'd never seen a theater piece.

00:47:56Guest:And they were fascinated by it.

00:47:58Guest:And they wrote me these letters.

00:47:59Guest:I mean, I was crying how one kid's in a gang and he didn't realize the conflict somewhere else.

00:48:03Guest:And, you know, really profound.

00:48:05Guest:That to me was an extremely gratifying experience.

00:48:08Guest:Wow.

00:48:08Guest:Because at least you do feel like you're making... I don't think the UN... I'm not changing anybody's mind at the UN with all due respect.

00:48:14Guest:I mean, the UN, it's...

00:48:15Marc:Yeah, you were doing a show that was themed appropriately for that audience.

00:48:21Guest:Yeah, and they found it interesting.

00:48:22Guest:I'm sure that it opened up.

00:48:23Guest:I'm sure there are little changes people go through.

00:48:25Marc:Were you given any opportunities after doing that?

00:48:27Marc:I mean, did somebody say, I'd like you to come do this at the Embassy Theater?

00:48:32Guest:Right, come to Turkmenistan.

00:48:34Guest:I did get an offer to actually go to some stand.

00:48:37Guest:and i don't remember where it was they they wrote to me and they said please come you know some former soviet republic and i you know i think they could offer me like 20 bucks to go and i i'm just tired you know i toured with this for a while and it gets to a point where you're like are you done with the show um no i'm supposed to do the show in connecticut i think uh in a jewish community center um no a festival of some sort yeah did you do that i've done i've done the yeah the jewish community circuit jcc not too many not too many

00:49:02Marc:There's a couple of really nice ones.

00:49:04Marc:Some of them have really nice theaters, but the people that come, it's always like it.

00:49:07Guest:Well, San Francisco is great.

00:49:08Guest:San Francisco is a very liberal community.

00:49:09Guest:No, that's a great community.

00:49:10Guest:I've been there.

00:49:11Marc:I've done a reading at that center.

00:49:12Guest:It's a nice little theater.

00:49:13Guest:It's nice, and a lot of the members are non-Jews, and it's all crunchy.

00:49:16Marc:Yeah, because the San Francisco Jewish community is like... It's like four people, and they're all like... Yeah, and they're not... I've never met a less pressured Jewish community in my life.

00:49:26Marc:Exactly.

00:49:27Marc:And I lived there for two years.

00:49:28Marc:I'm like, where are the Jews?

00:49:29Marc:They're like, oh, we're here.

00:49:30Marc:We're just kind of keeping low profile.

00:49:31Guest:We're under the radar.

00:49:32Guest:Assimilation at its worst.

00:49:33Marc:Well, yeah, because they have probably all left annoying Jewish parents to be in San Francisco to begin with.

00:49:38Guest:And like, yeah, parents are now in Boca.

00:49:39Guest:They can go live in San Francisco and ride their bikes.

00:49:41Marc:Right, exactly.

00:49:43Marc:Have you ever done it in Florida?

00:49:44Guest:Yes, I did.

00:49:47Guest:See, I did the JCC convention.

00:49:49Guest:That's intense.

00:49:50Marc:What, you mean like a NACA?

00:49:51Guest:It's all the JCCs from all over the country, and there was a big ballroom.

00:49:54Guest:That was not a good show.

00:49:55Marc:That was in Florida?

00:49:56Guest:Yeah, it was in Florida, in Miami.

00:49:57Marc:Oh, my God.

00:49:58Marc:I can't even imagine how annoying that would be.

00:49:59Guest:Yeah, it was not only, but it was like a stage on rafters.

00:50:02Guest:It was not a good, it was not theatrically, it wasn't produced properly.

00:50:05Guest:Do you know what I mean?

00:50:05Guest:I had a spotlight following me around.

00:50:07Guest:I felt like I was Bob Hope.

00:50:08Guest:You know what I mean?

00:50:08Guest:It was just, and it's an intense show, and you need good sound, and it's a theater experience.

00:50:13Marc:And were you booked out of that?

00:50:14Guest:Yeah, well, I don't think I took anybody up after that.

00:50:17Guest:I was like, I'm going back to L.A.

00:50:19Guest:and playing a Russian whore.

00:50:20Guest:You know what I mean?

00:50:21Guest:I think it's time I evolved.

00:50:22Marc:Well, let's talk about that Svetlana thing.

00:50:25Guest:Yes.

00:50:25Marc:Because you told me, I mean, I always loved the character.

00:50:27Marc:And when you did her on the radio show, people always loved it.

00:50:30Marc:And now you told me you got it.

00:50:31Marc:It's in a series.

00:50:32Guest:Yes.

00:50:33Marc:And it actually has a friend of mine, Kirk Fox.

00:50:35Marc:And I don't even know, you told me where it was.

00:50:37Marc:I don't know where it is.

00:50:38Guest:Well, yes.

00:50:38Guest:It's on a very, it's a network.

00:50:40Guest:It's Mark Cuban.

00:50:41Guest:You know Mark Cuban.

00:50:42Guest:He has a network called HDNet, which is-

00:50:44Marc:I do know Mark Cuban, but where was he before?

00:50:46Marc:I mean, how do I know him?

00:50:47Guest:He's a billionaire.

00:50:48Guest:He owns stuff.

00:50:49Marc:Okay, sure.

00:50:50Guest:You know, he's that guy.

00:50:51Guest:He's everywhere.

00:50:51Guest:Yeah.

00:50:52Guest:You know, Magnolia Piggy owns Magnolia Pictures.

00:50:53Guest:He produced a lot of stuff.

00:50:54Guest:That's right.

00:50:54Guest:Okay.

00:50:55Guest:Yeah, he's a great guy.

00:50:56Guest:And he saw the pilot.

00:50:57Guest:I did the pilot myself.

00:50:58Guest:I produced it myself.

00:50:59Guest:And then he goes, let's put it on the air.

00:51:00Guest:It's low budge.

00:51:01Guest:So I kind of work miracles.

00:51:02Guest:I mean, I make the show from no money at all.

00:51:04Marc:Are these full half hours?

00:51:05Guest:Yeah, full half hour, two camera.

00:51:06Guest:It's kind of like Curb.

00:51:08Guest:I have great people on it all the time.

00:51:10Guest:I have three daughters that work for me, so they're all whores.

00:51:12Guest:It's St.

00:51:13Guest:Petersburg House of Discreet Pleasure.

00:51:14Guest:I have an impotent husband.

00:51:16Guest:And it's on HDNet.

00:51:17Guest:So if you have DirecTV, Comcast, a lot of people have it.

00:51:20Guest:Time Warner?

00:51:21Guest:Time Warner does not have it.

00:51:22Guest:That's the only bummer.

00:51:23Marc:Oh, see, I got rid of DirecTV.

00:51:24Guest:Yeah, well, I'll get it back then.

00:51:26Marc:All right, I have the dish still.

00:51:27Guest:Okay, thank you.

00:51:29Guest:Just call them up, reactivate.

00:51:32Guest:So we do it on, you know, I'm nestled between Girls Gone Wild and Bikini Destinations.

00:51:36Guest:That's my time slot.

00:51:37Guest:So it is a very specific male demographic.

00:51:39Marc:So Girls Gone Wild has a show on HDNet.

00:51:42Guest:They have a show.

00:51:42Guest:Yeah, they do have a show.

00:51:44Guest:And Bikini Destinations, which is just Hot Chicks.

00:51:46Guest:You know, in Maui and who knows where, you know, sometimes flashing their boobs.

00:51:50Guest:And then my show, which is actually funny.

00:51:53Guest:I'm very proud of it.

00:51:54Guest:It's huge in Russia.

00:51:54Guest:This woman flew out from Moscow to interview me.

00:51:56Guest:Oh, really?

00:51:57Guest:It's huge.

00:51:58Guest:They love it.

00:51:58Marc:Oligarchs?

00:51:59Guest:Oligarchs.

00:52:00Guest:It's big with the oligarchs.

00:52:01Marc:Who are they exactly?

00:52:03Guest:The billionaire Russians that hang out.

00:52:04Guest:Yeah, I mean, just the money.

00:52:06Guest:They love it?

00:52:07Guest:They love it.

00:52:07Guest:So there's a magazine called Snob, and they sent a reporter, and they have a huge piece coming out in April.

00:52:12Marc:Now, when are you going to do some Svetlana in Russia?

00:52:14Marc:Why don't you go to Russia?

00:52:15Guest:I think I do want to go.

00:52:16Guest:Because I've never been.

00:52:16Guest:And I do want to go.

00:52:17Guest:I've never been either.

00:52:18Guest:I'm fascinated with it.

00:52:19Guest:Well, let's go.

00:52:20Guest:Let's do it.

00:52:21Guest:I'm going with you now?

00:52:22Guest:Yeah.

00:52:22Guest:To Russia?

00:52:22Marc:Of course.

00:52:23Marc:Half my family comes from Russia.

00:52:25Guest:Well, then it'll be a roots trip.

00:52:27Guest:Russian horror combo.

00:52:28Marc:But I mean, what have they said?

00:52:30Marc:What is the Russians?

00:52:32Marc:How did that go?

00:52:32Guest:They know that character.

00:52:34Guest:It's just funny.

00:52:35Marc:What do you mean they know the character?

00:52:36Marc:They know people like her in reality?

00:52:37Guest:Yeah, the archetype, yeah.

00:52:38Guest:Oh, really?

00:52:39Guest:Well, I mean, you've seen her.

00:52:41Marc:I know, but I didn't realize it was really based on somebody.

00:52:43Guest:Well, it's inspired.

00:52:44Guest:I mean, I really was initially inspired by Luba, the woman who waxes my poon.

00:52:48Guest:I was like, I love you.

00:52:50Guest:And then you go to Beverly Hills, you see this woman walking around.

00:52:53Guest:So Svetlana would start.

00:52:54Guest:I did some hidden camera stuff back in the day.

00:52:56Marc:Did you say waxes my poon?

00:52:57Guest:Mm-hmm.

00:52:58Guest:Okay.

00:52:58Guest:Yeah.

00:52:58Guest:I just want to make sure.

00:53:01Marc:I want to really showcase that.

00:53:03Marc:I want to make sure that the poon waxing.

00:53:07Marc:So you get your poon waxed by this Russian woman.

00:53:09Guest:By Luba, who's amazing.

00:53:11Guest:If you have any female listeners, have them hit me up.

00:53:14Guest:Because it's an intimate activity and you want the right person doing it.

00:53:17Marc:Yeah, I'd imagine.

00:53:18Guest:Extremely painful.

00:53:21Marc:But with a skilled hand, it doesn't... And she is a very charismatic person.

00:53:26Guest:No, she's not charismatic at all.

00:53:28Guest:She's very factual and in-your-face, but she's got this kind of raw... It's like Israeli, but different.

00:53:34Guest:Do you know what I mean?

00:53:35Guest:I don't know how to explain it.

00:53:36Guest:No, they're very aggressive.

00:53:38Guest:And the women walking around the streets with the heels and the tits.

00:53:45Guest:I was inspired and maybe aspired.

00:53:47Marc:So what did the Russian from Snob Magazine say when you met her?

00:53:52Guest:Well, they're always shot to see who I am.

00:53:55Guest:They see the character.

00:53:56Guest:Yeah.

00:53:56Guest:They see me.

00:53:57Marc:You're just a little Jew.

00:53:59Guest:That's what she wrote in the article.

00:54:00Guest:What?

00:54:00Guest:Little cute Israeli girl.

00:54:02Guest:Yeah, that was it.

00:54:02Guest:Transforming into, you know, Russian whore.

00:54:05Marc:Oh, I think it'd be great if you got to go visit the oligarchs.

00:54:10Guest:Yeah.

00:54:11Guest:It's an oligarch party.

00:54:12Marc:So you're going back to Israel next week.

00:54:13Guest:I'm going on Friday.

00:54:14Guest:Yeah, I'm going stopping in New York and going to Israel for a month.

00:54:16Marc:And you're just going to chill.

00:54:17Guest:Oh, I'm writing.

00:54:18Guest:I have to finish my second book called Machu My Pichu.

00:54:21Marc:And what's that book?

00:54:22Marc:What's the theme of that?

00:54:23Guest:It's adventures, you know.

00:54:25Marc:Now you've been fucked.

00:54:26Guest:I've been fucked.

00:54:26Guest:Now, yeah, I'm upgrading to now looking for a relationship.

00:54:29Guest:No, it's more of a travel adventure.

00:54:30Guest:This one is funny.

00:54:31Guest:I mean, there's always sex in my, there's a sexual theme in most of my work.

00:54:34Guest:Yeah.

00:54:35Guest:So this one's through South America.

00:54:37Guest:I went to South America a year later for three months.

00:54:40Guest:You did?

00:54:41Guest:Yeah, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru.

00:54:42Guest:And Colombia was very shady at the time.

00:54:44Marc:You know, I tell you.

00:54:46Marc:You international types with the travel.

00:54:49Marc:You don't think anything about it.

00:54:50Marc:For me to go to South America, I would worry for six months.

00:54:53Guest:Right.

00:54:54Marc:But people who grew up in Israel or in Europe, they're like, you just go.

00:54:59Guest:You just go.

00:54:59Marc:Don't even bring a lot of clothes.

00:55:01Marc:For me, I'm like, am I going to be able to plug in my toothbrush?

00:55:03Guest:Right.

00:55:04Guest:I know.

00:55:04Guest:Is there American cuisine in a two-mile radius?

00:55:06Marc:Well, no, I don't worry about that.

00:55:07Marc:But I worry about, like, I'm now very comfortable with traveling in the States.

00:55:11Marc:Like, I'm touring so much, I actually like it.

00:55:13Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:55:14Marc:But, I mean, I don't mind.

00:55:15Marc:I know how to pack and all that other shit.

00:55:17Marc:But there's something about language barriers that frighten me.

00:55:20Guest:Okay.

00:55:21Guest:Well, I think that, you know, as you get older, too, you do get, it's a little harder to, you know, you want to travel a little.

00:55:25Guest:I'm not going to backpack again.

00:55:27Guest:Right.

00:55:27Guest:I mean, I backpack with, like, you know, two T-shirts.

00:55:29Guest:I never backpack.

00:55:30Marc:I did it once, but it wasn't even real.

00:55:32Guest:Oh, really?

00:55:32Guest:Yeah.

00:55:32Guest:It was like Topanga?

00:55:34Marc:No, it was like I went to Spain.

00:55:37Guest:Well, your backpacking is different.

00:55:39Marc:But it was a honeymoon trip for the first wife, and it was not... I didn't know there was a first wife.

00:55:45Marc:Oh, yeah.

00:55:45Marc:The Jew.

00:55:47Guest:Oh, okay.

00:55:47Guest:Were they both Jewish?

00:55:49Marc:No, Mishnah's not Jewish.

00:55:49Marc:Okay.

00:55:50Marc:I know that with that name, you would think... Right, well, you really... Wolf.

00:55:53Guest:I mean, both.

00:55:54Marc:Yeah, no, I managed to find...

00:55:56Marc:A Mishnah Wolf that was not Jewish at all.

00:55:59Marc:There's no Jew in her.

00:56:01Guest:I bet a Friedman who wasn't Jewish.

00:56:03Marc:That's impossible.

00:56:03Guest:Mike Friedman, not Jewish.

00:56:05Guest:It's odd.

00:56:06Marc:How did he explain that?

00:56:07Guest:He didn't.

00:56:08Marc:That's a lie.

00:56:09Guest:Well, that's self-aiding.

00:56:11Guest:It doesn't even change the name.

00:56:12Guest:It's like Friedman, but I'm not Jewish.

00:56:13Guest:I'm not Jewish.

00:56:14Marc:Not only that, I don't like Jews.

00:56:17Right.

00:56:18Marc:No, I don't know how that happened.

00:56:20Marc:My first wife was Jewish, and it was all very familiar.

00:56:22Guest:Okay.

00:56:23Guest:Well, there was a nice, comforting... A lot of men look for their mom.

00:56:26Marc:No, I do a joke about that.

00:56:28Marc:I say I married a Jew.

00:56:30Marc:And the bad thing about if you're a Jew and he married you, that means everything you hated about going home is now in your house.

00:56:35Guest:Not convenient.

00:56:36Guest:It is the masochist in all of us, isn't it?

00:56:37Marc:I don't know.

00:56:39Marc:It's each to their own.

00:56:41Guest:Yes.

00:56:41Marc:I have nothing against Jewish women or Jews.

00:56:45Marc:I would hope not.

00:56:46Marc:I understand it.

00:56:47Guest:Okay.

00:56:48Marc:But there's something that that understanding could very quickly lead to, why even bother having sex?

00:56:54Guest:Right.

00:56:55Guest:That's...

00:56:56Marc:I think we're done.

00:56:58Marc:Literally, you enter the relationship at age 70, and you're in your mid-30s.

00:57:02Marc:And you're already sitting there going, what?

00:57:04Guest:How much to look forward to.

00:57:05Marc:When do you want to eat?

00:57:06Marc:How often do you date Jews?

00:57:08Guest:You know, I... Uh-huh.

00:57:10Marc:Yeah, not very often.

00:57:11Marc:Yeah, why is that?

00:57:12Guest:I don't know.

00:57:13Guest:Well, I think that...

00:57:15Guest:It depends where I'm at.

00:57:16Guest:I think Jewish men in L.A.

00:57:18Guest:I don't have anything in common with an accountant in Brentwood.

00:57:20Guest:Or anybody in Brentwood for that matter.

00:57:21Marc:But do you have anything in common with a miserable comic who can't stop thinking about himself?

00:57:26Guest:No, absolutely not.

00:57:27Guest:A Jewish screenwriter?

00:57:27Guest:But then I end up nothing in common with a Catholic from Texas like my last guy.

00:57:31Guest:What am I doing with that?

00:57:33Guest:What am I doing with that?

00:57:34Guest:You know what I mean?

00:57:34Guest:I tell them about Israel and they're like, oh, tell me more.

00:57:36Guest:Educate me.

00:57:38Marc:Obviously it doesn't have much to do with that.

00:57:40Marc:But you do have a lot in common with every kind of Jew.

00:57:43Guest:It depends what you want in common.

00:57:45Guest:You understand it.

00:57:45Guest:Yeah.

00:57:45Guest:Well, do I want to be with someone I understand?

00:57:47Marc:That's right.

00:57:48Guest:That's the whole issue.

00:57:49Marc:Yeah.

00:57:49Marc:Can I get away from that?

00:57:51Marc:Yeah.

00:57:51Marc:I don't know if it's the same with every type of culture.

00:57:53Marc:I imagine it's the same with Catholics and Catholics.

00:57:56Guest:Right.

00:57:56Marc:Muslims and Muslims.

00:57:57Guest:I mean, for me, it's not religion.

00:57:58Guest:It's Jewish culture.

00:58:00Guest:Again, it's Israelis and Americans.

00:58:01Guest:It's a very different culture.

00:58:02Guest:It's a very different cultural personality.

00:58:06Guest:That makes a cultural personality.

00:58:07Guest:I don't know what that means.

00:58:08Guest:So, yeah, American Jews, they know about, you know, I think it really is what world are they in today?

00:58:14Guest:It's not this abstract, like, I'm a Jew, you get me, like, what does that even mean?

00:58:17Guest:I know exactly what it means.

00:58:19Guest:Well, do you?

00:58:19Guest:See, I don't.

00:58:20Guest:But I, you know, I'm not neurotic.

00:58:22Guest:Is that a lot?

00:58:23Guest:Yeah.

00:58:23Guest:Well, I'm probably a little neurotic.

00:58:24Guest:But I'm not neurotic to the point where I don't have the patience for somebody neurotic.

00:58:27Guest:So I want somebody not neurotic.

00:58:28Guest:If they're Jews that are not neurotic, bring them to me.

00:58:31Guest:You know what I mean?

00:58:31Guest:I also don't like uncircumcised.

00:58:33Guest:Like, you date European guys, they're not even circumcised.

00:58:35Guest:At least here, everybody's... Yeah.

00:58:37Guest:You know what you're getting.

00:58:39Guest:Well, there's just no mystery.

00:58:40Guest:You can see the whole thing.

00:58:41Guest:You're not playing with additional parts.

00:58:44Guest:I mean, it's just, it's really, I don't know, it's awkward.

00:58:47Marc:Uh-huh.

00:58:47Guest:Is it?

00:58:49Guest:Yes, it's like, it's moving parts and things are peeking out and going in and I don't know, you know, and you don't want to look at it too.

00:58:55Guest:I'm always like, I think it's probably been with two guys and I just kept staring at it and I don't know how to maneuver it.

00:59:00Guest:and it's you know and it's just why is that there well you know it's i'd like to just let's yeah i want to see the whole thing here it is this is it this is what it looks like flaccid what it looks like not flaccid this is the package yeah there it's like oh here it comes and it's out and it's going in and what happened and it's there's an envelope yeah yeah yeah it's i don't know this is i think this is a very honest problem

00:59:22Guest:Well, and what are you going to do?

00:59:23Guest:You're not going to be 40 and get circumcised.

00:59:25Guest:Some people do.

00:59:26Guest:Do they?

00:59:27Marc:I've heard that some people get it back, that they want their foreskin back.

00:59:31Guest:A grafting?

00:59:32Guest:Yeah.

00:59:32Guest:Is there a bank?

00:59:33Guest:Yeah, I think- The foreskin bank they take from their elbow.

00:59:35Guest:They always take like, we're taking some flesh off from your inner elbow and put it on your penis.

00:59:38Marc:Put it on your penis.

00:59:39Marc:It works perfectly.

00:59:40Marc:We do these all the time.

00:59:42Marc:I don't know what the reason would be.

00:59:43Marc:So now, when you go to Israel, is there going to be arguing?

00:59:47Yeah.

00:59:47Guest:Um, probably with my mom.

00:59:49Marc:Yeah.

00:59:50Guest:Yeah.

00:59:50Marc:What's that argument like?

00:59:52Guest:Uh, it's a combination.

00:59:53Guest:My mom, you know, for years, uh, tried to guilt me for everything.

00:59:56Guest:Oh, you're leaving me.

00:59:57Guest:You're going to college in America.

00:59:58Guest:Oh, you're leaving me.

00:59:59Guest:You're going out.

01:00:00Guest:You know what I mean?

01:00:01Guest:For the evening.

01:00:02Guest:Yeah.

01:00:02Guest:For the evening.

01:00:03Guest:You know, especially when, after parents divorce, mom, you suddenly, her life, you know, livelihood.

01:00:08Guest:Um, yeah.

01:00:09Guest:So now it is that, like, I want to come see you, and she'll want to come see me, and then she'll come and go, I make too much effort.

01:00:14Guest:Like, it's just weird.

01:00:14Guest:She doesn't know what is right anymore.

01:00:16Guest:She wants to guilt and then de-guilt.

01:00:18Guest:You can't de-guilt.

01:00:19Guest:It doesn't work.

01:00:19Guest:So you overcompensate, going, do whatever you want.

01:00:21Guest:Don't call me for two weeks.

01:00:22Guest:It's fine.

01:00:22Marc:Sure.

01:00:23Marc:De-guilting, though, is confusing.

01:00:24Guest:That's what I'm saying.

01:00:25Guest:I'd rather just keep consistent and just keep guilting so I can not put those boundaries up and weep inside.

01:00:31Guest:But now it's like...

01:00:32Marc:Because de-guilting actually leads to more guilt on your part.

01:00:35Guest:Well, then it puts it on me.

01:00:36Guest:That's right.

01:00:36Guest:Exactly.

01:00:36Guest:When she goes, I can be like, oh, she's such a, you know, oh, my mom with the guilt trips.

01:00:39Guest:But suddenly she's like, don't worry about me.

01:00:41Guest:I'm fine.

01:00:41Guest:You have fun.

01:00:42Guest:Go do your thing.

01:00:43Guest:And I'm like, well, no, mom.

01:00:45Guest:I don't want to do that.

01:00:45Guest:Oh, my God.

01:00:45Guest:What's happened?

01:00:46Guest:Do you have cancer?

01:00:47Guest:Yeah, exactly.

01:00:48Guest:Or don't you love me?

01:00:48Guest:Don't you want me?

01:00:49Guest:Like when it's not codependent, what do you do?

01:00:51Marc:Yeah.

01:00:52Guest:What do you do?

01:00:52Marc:Then it's on you to get healthy.

01:00:54Guest:Exactly.

01:00:54Guest:And that is horrible.

01:00:55Marc:Yeah, when you have to take responsibility.

01:00:56Guest:And I started therapy again, actually.

01:00:58Guest:You did?

01:00:58Guest:I haven't been in years.

01:00:59Guest:It always ends badly with these therapists.

01:01:01Guest:It really does.

01:01:02Guest:Last guy I went to, he ends up criticizing me more than I criticize myself.

01:01:06Guest:How long were you with him?

01:01:07Guest:How long was I with him?

01:01:08Guest:Probably six months.

01:01:10Guest:Uh-huh.

01:01:10Guest:Older guy.

01:01:11Guest:Yeah.

01:01:12Guest:Nice man.

01:01:13Guest:Yeah.

01:01:13Guest:It always starts out positive.

01:01:14Guest:Yeah.

01:01:14Guest:And loving.

01:01:15Guest:And then it ends up like, look at you.

01:01:16Guest:Really?

01:01:18Guest:Yeah.

01:01:18Guest:And I'm like, how did these guys end up being critical?

01:01:20Guest:This doesn't seem intuitive.

01:01:22Guest:So now I have this Israeli woman in New York who I thought would be like, oh, she gets me.

01:01:27Mm-hmm.

01:01:27Guest:I felt horrible after last and we Skype session because she's in New York.

01:01:31Guest:You do eight in the morning and I'm in my bed looking crusty.

01:01:33Guest:And I think she's emailing other people while she's doing the session.

01:01:37Guest:I can see her eyes darting around in her phone.

01:01:39Guest:I can see you.

01:01:40Guest:You're picking up your phone.

01:01:41Guest:I hear the iPhone ding, you know, putting in the passcode.

01:01:43Guest:I can see things moving.

01:01:45Guest:But she's also like, get over it.

01:01:48Guest:I'm like, wow, what happened to love and understanding?

01:01:51Guest:Isn't that what?

01:01:52Marc:It's just tough love, huh?

01:01:53Guest:But it's not... I don't know about... Tough love, I feel, is an oxymoron.

01:01:56Guest:I'm sorry.

01:01:56Marc:Of course it is.

01:01:57Guest:I don't need tough love.

01:01:58Guest:That's the beauty of it.

01:01:58Guest:Just abuse me or love me.

01:02:00Guest:I don't need the tough love.

01:02:01Guest:That's the same as de-guilting.

01:02:02Guest:It's just not right.

01:02:03Marc:Well, I think when it comes right down to it, if they're not just facilitating your kind of whining, I think there's something more honest about saying just get over it.

01:02:13Marc:Because the fact of the matter is, is most people...

01:02:16Marc:Don't listen to other people.

01:02:17Guest:Yes.

01:02:17Marc:And they're going to do whatever the hell they're going to do.

01:02:20Marc:Either they're going to figure it out or they're not.

01:02:22Guest:Yeah.

01:02:22Marc:And then occasionally you get some wisdom that changes your mind.

01:02:25Marc:It's sort of like doing a show.

01:02:27Marc:Like you said, when you do a show in East L.A.

01:02:29Marc:or you do a show for a room full of people that's not paying attention, that there is the possibility that someone will come out of that show with a heightened awareness.

01:02:38Guest:Yes.

01:02:38Marc:Or at least something that'll change their mind a little bit and make them see something differently.

01:02:43Marc:I mean, whether or not a therapist can do that, I don't know.

01:02:46Marc:It seems to me that a lot of therapists create a relationship with you that is either healthy or maybe it's not healthy.

01:02:51Guest:It can be just as codependent.

01:02:52Guest:I think that people are like, what would my therapist want me to do?

01:02:54Guest:I mean, I think that you have the therapists that give advice and those that don't give advice and like find your own way.

01:02:58Guest:And I'm like, well, tell me what the fuck to do.

01:02:59Marc:They just guide you through this swamp, but that doesn't necessarily help you.

01:03:03Marc:I mean, I had a therapist once.

01:03:05Marc:There are different points in my life where people have said things, like literally poetic things that I can remember that somehow affected the way I see everything.

01:03:16Marc:That is possible.

01:03:17Guest:Yes.

01:03:17Guest:No, I had a break with old guy.

01:03:18Marc:Oh, yeah.

01:03:19Guest:Yeah.

01:03:19Guest:He he introduced me to a concept called repetition compulsion.

01:03:23Guest:Now, I initially thought that you just that.

01:03:25Guest:What does that mean?

01:03:25Guest:You end up doing repeating your behaviors.

01:03:27Guest:Right.

01:03:28Guest:But it's actually repeating your behaviors in order to you think you're going to change the outcome.

01:03:32Guest:So it's like let's say you're an abusive relationship.

01:03:34Guest:You keep going in abuse because you think that you'll get better at it.

01:03:37Guest:Right.

01:03:37Guest:As opposed to just going in because you want to be abused.

01:03:39Guest:It's no, it's like, no, I'll get better at being abused or I won't take it this time.

01:03:43Guest:I'll win this time.

01:03:44Guest:I'll win this time.

01:03:44Guest:You're changing, trying to change history instead of just changing the behavior and not getting into an abusive relationship.

01:03:49Guest:So that was a concept that was like, oh, interesting.

01:03:51Guest:So I think that, yeah, awareness, a cerebral awareness rarely affects the emotional, the gut emotional response, but it does help curb the actions based on that emotional response.

01:04:00Marc:Well, that's that that's that old adage.

01:04:02Marc:I think it's a I don't know where it came from.

01:04:04Marc:I've heard it in the in the recovery parlance, which is if you repeat something over and over again and expect different results.

01:04:12Guest:That's insanity.

01:04:12Guest:Right.

01:04:13Guest:Yeah, of course.

01:04:13Guest:Yeah.

01:04:14Guest:But you think that you have control over it.

01:04:16Guest:I don't think that's true either.

01:04:17Guest:I mean, it depends how you if you act differently in the situation.

01:04:21Guest:But I don't know.

01:04:21Marc:But people are different, and the results are not always the same with a different person.

01:04:26Marc:I mean, emotionally, you may be hitting a wall.

01:04:29Marc:Yeah.

01:04:30Marc:You're not breaking through.

01:04:31Guest:Right.

01:04:32Marc:Like a therapist once said to me, there's no such thing as boredom, only fear, which I never let that one go.

01:04:40Guest:Yeah.

01:04:40Guest:The minute people speak in sayings and phrases, you automatically endow them with truth.

01:04:44Guest:But a lot of sayings and phrases are just bullshit.

01:04:47Yeah.

01:04:47Marc:No, that's true.

01:04:47Marc:But like, but that thing, like, you know, it's sort of only fear.

01:04:50Guest:Okay.

01:04:50Marc:It blossomed in my mind that if you're literally, if I'm sitting in this room, you look around this room and I'm like, I'm bored.

01:04:56Marc:I'm like, no, you're just paralyzed with something.

01:04:59Marc:I mean, what is boredom?

01:05:00Guest:Right.

01:05:01Marc:Yeah.

01:05:01Marc:Right.

01:05:01Marc:What's stopping you?

01:05:03Guest:Well, I think that people that aren't motivated are afraid.

01:05:04Guest:Sure.

01:05:05Guest:So I agree with that.

01:05:06Marc:Yeah.

01:05:07Marc:It's a good one.

01:05:07Guest:Yeah.

01:05:08Marc:I like that one.

01:05:08Guest:I didn't mean to ruin that.

01:05:09Guest:I think now I'm taking it in and I don't take it away from you.

01:05:12Guest:But for therapy for me, I can do like a couple of sessions and I stop because I feel like I'm always happier when I'm not in therapy.

01:05:18Marc:I just did a fucking four hour psychiatric evaluation.

01:05:20Guest:See, that's horrible.

01:05:21Marc:And the guy literally said to me, I don't know if you're ready for this.

01:05:24Marc:And I haven't gone back.

01:05:25Guest:What?

01:05:26Guest:Four hours?

01:05:26Guest:But that's, I mean, that's crazy.

01:05:28Marc:No, it was a specific type of therapy.

01:05:31Guest:Is it Freudian kind of thing?

01:05:32Guest:No.

01:05:32Marc:Okay.

01:05:33Marc:But he just wanted an assessment.

01:05:34Marc:So I did two hours one day and then two hours another day.

01:05:36Marc:And, you know, he said that we could help you here.

01:05:40Marc:And he laid out what it would take.

01:05:42Guest:Right.

01:05:43Guest:And you're like.

01:05:44Marc:And at some point he said, you don't seem quite ready.

01:05:46Marc:And I'm like, I don't know why you say that.

01:05:48Guest:Oh, that's... Have you been in AA?

01:05:49Marc:Were you at... No, no, yeah, I do AA.

01:05:51Guest:You do AA?

01:05:52Marc:I mean, I've 11 years sober.

01:05:53Guest:You like that?

01:05:54Marc:Well, I mean, it's necessary.

01:05:56Marc:I mean, it's necessary in the sense that, look, there's a million ways that people can get sober.

01:05:59Guest:Yeah, yeah.

01:06:00Marc:And there's a million ways to criticize AA.

01:06:03Marc:And, you know, I shouldn't even really be talking about it.

01:06:04Marc:But the truth of the matter is, is that not unlike any support program, there are tools that you can make your own and, you know, and help your life.

01:06:11Guest:Yeah, yeah.

01:06:12Marc:Like, you know, I'm no fanatic.

01:06:14Guest:Right.

01:06:14Guest:Well, the minute anything becomes a mantra, are you trying to spell?

01:06:17Guest:Yeah, of course.

01:06:17Guest:You take what works for you and yeah.

01:06:19Marc:Right.

01:06:19Marc:Some people do that, but if you need to become a fanatic and you're not hurting other people, then so be it.

01:06:23Guest:You might as well be addicted to something good.

01:06:25Guest:I think that if you replace one addiction with another, at least it's that and it's not another...

01:06:29Marc:Look, you know, the weird thing is we're just fucking humans and, you know, and life is short and there's a, it's a very short menu on how you destroy that life.

01:06:37Marc:You know, and how you're going to temper those things is your thing.

01:06:40Marc:And I mean, it becomes very hard to judge people.

01:06:42Guest:Yeah, I don't, I mean, I think whatever works for people, except when people like doing the landmark forum want me to go in there.

01:06:47Guest:That to me, I'm like, if that helps you.

01:06:49Marc:I got that too recently.

01:06:50Guest:But please, you're just afraid.

01:06:52Guest:I'm like, well, maybe I'm not interested.

01:06:54Guest:That's the thing that drives me.

01:06:55Guest:It's in there.

01:06:56Marc:But you know, there's a point where you're like, I am afraid.

01:06:58Marc:Listen to you.

01:06:58Marc:Yeah, exactly.

01:07:00Guest:Well, they have these things.

01:07:01Guest:I go, why are you volunteering in this billion-dollar corporation?

01:07:04Guest:They're like, well, it's more gratifying when you volunteer.

01:07:06Guest:I said, well, go volunteer to Children's Hospital.

01:07:08Guest:That's gratifying.

01:07:09Guest:Don't volunteer.

01:07:09Guest:Go feed the homeless people.

01:07:10Guest:Yeah, volunteer that way.

01:07:11Guest:Don't volunteer giving these works.

01:07:13Guest:I'm obsessed with brainwashing.

01:07:14Guest:I think it's fascinating.

01:07:15Guest:And I went online and did research on all that Scientology and the forum and all these organizations.

01:07:21Guest:And there was a group of grad students that went undercover to a bunch of these weekends.

01:07:25Guest:And, you know, they all went undercover and they were supposed to report back.

01:07:27Guest:They went to different ones all across the country.

01:07:29Guest:And they came back and they gave a play-by-play because nobody will ever tell you what goes on unless you do it.

01:07:33Guest:And they gave a play-by-play and all, I think, was 12 people.

01:07:37Guest:From four to six, nobody remembered what happened.

01:07:39Guest:And I'm like, wow.

01:07:40Guest:Because I think that you get, you know, there's like, you know, there's faces where you're so drained emotionally and you're probably in this quiet room and you kind of get hypnotized a little bit.

01:07:47Marc:Sure.

01:07:48Marc:We all get hypnotized by something.

01:07:49Guest:Yeah.

01:07:50Guest:So four to six was like this dark hour, you know?

01:07:52Marc:Oh, yeah.

01:07:53Marc:Well, that is a weird time because you're kind of tired.

01:07:55Guest:Exactly.

01:07:55Marc:You've done your first couple cycles.

01:07:58Marc:You're up and then there's lunch.

01:08:00Guest:Yes.

01:08:00Marc:And that's nap time.

01:08:01Guest:It is nap time.

01:08:01Guest:So they keep you up during that time.

01:08:03Guest:Yeah.

01:08:04Guest:But look, it saved my friend's marriage.

01:08:05Guest:So I don't again, I don't judge whatever works.

01:08:07Guest:Whatever gives people integrity.

01:08:09Guest:I appreciate.

01:08:10Guest:I think integrity is really, you know.

01:08:12Guest:Yeah.

01:08:12Marc:But there's that weird thing where you like even when you said that saved my friend's marriage.

01:08:15Marc:I'm like, well, we don't.

01:08:15Marc:We'll see.

01:08:16Marc:Yeah.

01:08:16Guest:Right, no, see, I'm a skeptic.

01:08:18Guest:Yeah, wait until it breaks down.

01:08:20Marc:You know, that shit, there's got to be something lurking under there.

01:08:22Marc:I mean, I go with that.

01:08:24Guest:Right.

01:08:24Marc:But even if there is, I mean, like, okay, so they got two years.

01:08:27Guest:Yeah.

01:08:28Guest:Whatever.

01:08:28Guest:Yeah, but you know what?

01:08:29Guest:I think when you have kids, it's a whole other ballgame.

01:08:31Guest:Like, if people aren't happy in a regular marriage, I say get the hell out.

01:08:34Guest:But when you got kids, I don't say be miserable, but...

01:08:36Guest:there's really something else to work for.

01:08:38Guest:You know what I mean?

01:08:38Guest:The kids are young and they're like in this cocoon.

01:08:40Guest:And I think that they're, it's a good thing they're saving it now.

01:08:43Guest:Even if, I don't care if he's out philandering, but he comes home and there's a stable environment.

01:08:48Marc:Right.

01:08:48Marc:Yeah.

01:08:49Marc:People are just people.

01:08:50Marc:It's just like, then there's that whole normal issue.

01:08:52Marc:Like what is normal?

01:08:52Marc:What isn't normal?

01:08:53Marc:It's like, is there a normal?

01:08:55Marc:And, you know, you assume that other people have these things that you don't have.

01:08:58Marc:And then you find out like, oh my God, you were miserable that whole time.

01:09:00Guest:Exactly.

01:09:01Marc:Yeah.

01:09:02Guest:It becomes a waste of time.

01:09:03Guest:Yeah, it is.

01:09:03Guest:Just, yeah.

01:09:04Marc:All right.

01:09:04Marc:So do we solve everything?

01:09:06Guest:I'm happy.

01:09:07Guest:I mean, I'm happy.

01:09:07Guest:I feel comfortable not going back into therapy.

01:09:09Guest:This was much more cleansing for me.

01:09:11Marc:Oh, good.

01:09:12Guest:So then we did a great thing.

01:09:13Marc:Binge and purge, yeah.

01:09:14Marc:We talked about a lot of stuff.

01:09:15Guest:We did.

01:09:15Guest:Thank you, Arise Barr.

01:09:17Guest:Thank you, Marc Maron.

01:09:19Marc:Oh, nice.

01:09:19Guest:You like that?

01:09:20Marc:Yeah.

01:09:26Marc:I think we covered it a little bit.

01:09:28Marc:The lovely Arise Barr.

01:09:29Marc:If you're interested in Svetlana, the show, as I said at the top there, you can go to www.svetlanasworld.com every Wednesday 8 p.m.

01:09:39Marc:on HDNet.

01:09:40Marc:S-V-E-T-L-A-N-A-S-W-O-R-L-D.com.

01:09:45Marc:Dig it.

01:09:46Marc:Are we swinging?

01:09:47Marc:Is it happening?

01:09:48Marc:WTFPod.com for all your WTF needs.

01:09:53Marc:If need be, you can get to everything from there.

01:09:55Marc:You can go to the iTunes, WTF Premium.

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01:10:03Marc:Get the app.

01:10:04Marc:The app, you can get everything.

01:10:05Marc:You can stream it all.

01:10:06Marc:We'll just coffee.

01:10:07Marc:We'll just coffee.

01:10:10Marc:Pow!

01:10:11Marc:Yeah.

01:10:14Marc:Shit my pants, man.

01:10:16Marc:I'm sorry.

01:10:18Marc:I'm still hung up on that.

01:10:20Marc:The jazz thing.

01:10:21Marc:Dig it.

01:10:23Marc:Foxwoods Comics.

01:10:24Marc:June.

01:10:25Marc:How come I don't write these dates down?

01:10:27Marc:June.

01:10:27Marc:2nd, 3rd, and 4th.

01:10:31Marc:Wow.

01:10:31Marc:Yeah.

01:10:32Marc:Denver.

01:10:32Marc:Comedy Works.

01:10:33Marc:June 16th through 19th.

01:10:36Marc:Yeah.

01:10:37Marc:Okay.

01:10:38Marc:That about does it, man.

01:10:39Marc:Keep swinging.