WTF with Marc Maron Podcast Transcripts

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Episode 18 - Al Madrigal / Mort Mortenson

Episode 18 • Released November 1, 2009 • Speakers detected

Episode 18 artwork
00:00:00Guest 1:Lock the gates!
00:00:07Guest 3:Are we doing this?
00:00:08Guest 3:Really?
00:00:08Guest 3:Wait for it.
00:00:09Guest 3:Are we doing this?
00:00:10Guest 3:Wait for it.
00:00:12Guest 3:Pow!
00:00:12Guest 3:What the fuck?
00:00:14Guest 3:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?
00:00:16Guest 3:What's wrong with me?
00:00:17Guest 3:It's time for WTF!
00:00:19Guest 3:What the fuck?
00:00:20Guest 2:With Marc Maron.
00:00:24Marc:Okay, let's do this, what the fuckers.
00:00:26Marc:Welcome to the show.
00:00:27Marc:This is Mark Maron.
00:00:28Marc:You're listening to WTF.
00:00:29Marc:That is What the Fuck with Mark Maron.
00:00:31Marc:On today's show, we've got Al Madrigal.
00:00:34Marc:Al Madrigal, one of my favorite comedians.
00:00:37Marc:I think you'll enjoy him.
00:00:38Marc:I haven't talked to Al in a while.
00:00:39Marc:Looking forward to talking to him.
00:00:41Marc:Also, today we have our weekly remembrance with Mort Mortensen, grief correspondent.
00:00:47Marc:I'm sitting out my garage.
00:00:50Marc:I got a big old cup of hang on...
00:00:53Marc:Pow!
00:00:55Marc:Uh-oh, I made a mess.
00:00:57Marc:JustCoffee.coop.
00:00:59Marc:You can go to WTFPod.com.
00:01:01Marc:It'll take you to a link to JustCoffee.coop.
00:01:04Marc:They're the renegade hippie co-op up there in Madison, Wisconsin.
00:01:08Marc:If you put WTF in the coupon box, you will get a 10% discount off the coffee.
00:01:15Marc:Folks, don't panic.
00:01:16Marc:Don't do what I do.
00:01:17Marc:Don't get yourself all jacked up on the Java and start to...
00:01:21Marc:Panic.
00:01:22Marc:Man, I know I've talked about this before.
00:01:24Marc:I know some of you are getting to know me, but I think it's my biggest problem.
00:01:29Marc:Panic.
00:01:29Marc:I mean, I don't know how some people do it.
00:01:32Marc:I do not know how some people do it.
00:01:35Marc:I'll tell you one way you can ease your panic.
00:01:37Marc:He said, segwaying into his new sponsor.
00:01:40Marc:Yeah.
00:01:42Marc:If you want laughs or you want to know about the comedy biz or about comedians or about what's going on in the world of comedy, punchlinemagazine.com is the source for all things stand-up comedy.
00:01:52Marc:They got interviews.
00:01:52Marc:They got news.
00:01:53Marc:They got reviews.
00:01:54Marc:And they do everybody.
00:01:55Marc:They're not partial to alternative or this or that or whatever.
00:01:59Marc:It is a broad, intelligent comedy website.
00:02:02Marc:They also feature this thing called the Type 5.
00:02:05Marc:These are video interviews with people like Stephen Wright, Michael Ian Black, Paul F. Tompkins, Todd Berry.
00:02:11Marc:I did one.
00:02:12Marc:My buddy Dylan runs a thing.
00:02:13Marc:PunchwineMagazine.com.
00:02:15Marc:That'll ease some of your panic.
00:02:16Marc:That'll take you out of yourself for a minute.
00:02:19Marc:But then again, you know, people say you got to get out of your head.
00:02:21Marc:Get out of your head.
00:02:22Marc:Why?
00:02:22Marc:Where am I going to go?
00:02:23Marc:How am I going to do that?
00:02:24Marc:Maybe I'm in my head so I know where I am.
00:02:26Marc:Is that such a bad thing?
00:02:28Marc:Maybe I should be in my head, but maybe I should get out of it sometimes.
00:02:31Marc:But I can't be all out of it all the time because then how I know time is passing.
00:02:34Marc:You know, this has gotten weird.
00:02:35Marc:It's gotten esoteric.
00:02:36Marc:I've gotten into the minutiae.
00:02:39Marc:of this cerebral thing.
00:02:41Marc:All I know is that I spent about five hours yesterday making an Excel spreadsheet.
00:02:50Marc:And you know how many times I've done that?
00:02:52Marc:Never.
00:02:53Marc:Who knew you could do that?
00:02:55Marc:I was trying to organize all you subscribers so I could get your T-shirts to you and put it all in order so I wasn't freaking out with a stack of papers that I was writing XXLLSM on and making little like one, two, three, four cross fives and making counts like this.
00:03:11Marc:Who knew that there was this whole world right here on my computer where I could make an organized spreadsheet of all you wonderful folks who are subscribing so I can get your t-shirts to you and also email you about your sizes.
00:03:23Marc:I don't know how to do this, people.
00:03:25Marc:I don't know.
00:03:26Marc:All I know is I am old.
00:03:28Marc:I'm becoming an old man.
00:03:31Marc:How did that happen?
00:03:32Marc:My brain isn't old.
00:03:34Marc:What are we here for?
00:03:35Marc:How am I gotten through two marriages?
00:03:37Marc:How do I not have any children?
00:03:38Marc:Do I want children?
00:03:39Marc:Do I really get upset when I think about it?
00:03:42Marc:No.
00:03:43Marc:I still don't know why the fuck I'm here.
00:03:44Marc:I have no fucking idea sometimes.
00:03:47Marc:Thank God I have this microphone in front of me right now or I would have no clue.
00:03:51Marc:And I hate when people are like, hey, you're a man.
00:03:53Marc:You can have kids for a long time.
00:03:56Marc:No, I can't.
00:03:58Marc:I don't want to be that guy.
00:04:00Marc:I don't want to be old dad.
00:04:01Marc:First of all, if I have kids now, even if I have kids when I'm 50, that means they're going to be 15 when I'm 65.
00:04:07Marc:Do I want to deal with a 15 year old kid when I'm 65?
00:04:10Marc:No.
00:04:10Marc:But it's also out of respect for the kid.
00:04:13Marc:I remember that kid when I was a kid, the kid with the old dad.
00:04:16Marc:Don't you remember?
00:04:17Marc:Be outside playing after school.
00:04:19Marc:Car would come up.
00:04:20Marc:Guy would get out.
00:04:21Marc:You'd be like, dude, is that your dad?
00:04:24Marc:Yeah.
00:04:25Marc:How old is he, man?
00:04:28Marc:Oh, my God.
00:04:28Marc:Does he do anything?
00:04:31Marc:Yeah, he's all right.
00:04:32Marc:Wow.
00:04:34Marc:God, he looks really old.
00:04:36Marc:Yeah, I gotta go help him.
00:04:38Marc:Okay, buddy.
00:04:39Marc:We'll see you tomorrow.
00:04:40Marc:Now, I'm not knocking old dads.
00:04:41Marc:I know there's a lot of people out there with the gift of childhood or having a kid.
00:04:45Marc:That's all well and good.
00:04:47Marc:But it does become a little difficult to figure out why the fuck you're here when you don't have kids, I think.
00:04:53Marc:and i've had a lot of time to think about it you know i've been thinking about desperation i've been thinking about fear i've been thinking about what we all go through on any given day how we judge ourselves what we judge ourselves against yeah i spent a lot of time talking about politics i spent a lot of time trying to keep up with everything that's going on in the world trying to be on the pulse on the beat have a point of view about it and i started to realize
00:05:18Marc:I started to realize I can just turn all that shit off.
00:05:22Marc:I once saw a t-shirt years ago, and I've never been able to get it out of my head because I didn't know whether it was right or wrong.
00:05:29Marc:It basically said, fuck the world, save yourself.
00:05:34Marc:What does that mean exactly?
00:05:36Marc:Because on some level, it could be seen as like, that's very selfish.
00:05:39Marc:I mean, you've got to think in terms of the planet.
00:05:41Marc:You've got to think in terms of other people.
00:05:43Marc:You've got to think in terms of the community.
00:05:45Marc:But I don't know if that was what it was saying.
00:05:48Marc:I'm finding as I get older, and obviously this is not specifically funny, but
00:05:53Marc:But the only real challenge to you is to be true to yourself at some point.
00:05:59Marc:There are so many things we do to not to either voluntarily avoid ourselves or avoid ourselves out of necessity.
00:06:05Marc:But there are so many things in life that require a stifling of oneself that you think it's the way it's supposed to be.
00:06:13Marc:But at some point, we have to have the fucking guts to, like, to just, you know, just to be yourself.
00:06:20Marc:I mean, I listen to all these idiots on TV bloviating about politics on both sides.
00:06:25Marc:Just going, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang,
00:06:40Marc:why we're alive, why life is great when it is great, what we're supposed to be doing here.
00:06:45Marc:I just read Philip Roth's new book, or just the last one, called Indignation.
00:06:50Marc:And as he gets older, he is so fucking bleak, so bleak.
00:06:55Marc:It's this beautiful story about a kid who goes to college, a Jewish kid from Newark, and then it just takes this turn where it's almost like he's celebrating the idea that one minor turn of events in one's life, a simple twist of fate,
00:07:10Marc:could just throw your life into one direction or the other.
00:07:13Marc:Complete tragedy.
00:07:15Marc:You have no control over it.
00:07:16Marc:And at some point you start to realize that's the way it is.
00:07:21Marc:That's the way life is.
00:07:23Marc:What are we here for?
00:07:24Marc:And on a biological level, and this is always, it always gets me in terms of looking at human nature.
00:07:31Marc:It's like, is everything about us really just...
00:07:34Marc:a way we accessorize the drive in our pants?
00:07:38Marc:Is it really just about, you know, how we can eat and who we can fuck?
00:07:42Marc:Is that all it is?
00:07:43Marc:Is all our actions, everything, all our activities, our personality, our charm, our clothes, our shoes, our shirt, our car, you know, the way we say, hey, what's up?
00:07:53Marc:Is that all just accessorizing the drive in our pants?
00:07:58Marc:I mean, what the fuck?
00:07:59Marc:Who the fuck are you?
00:08:01Marc:Who the fuck are you?
00:08:03Marc:Do you ever ask yourself that?
00:08:05Marc:I had this situation.
00:08:07Marc:I was on stage once in San Francisco, and I'm doing pretty well with the crowd.
00:08:12Marc:I'm doing pretty well with the crowd.
00:08:14Marc:But there's this guy sitting up front who's not laughing at nothing.
00:08:18Marc:He was this big guy.
00:08:19Marc:He looked like he was a biker.
00:08:21Marc:He had leather pants on, a leather jacket.
00:08:22Marc:He had long hair.
00:08:23Marc:He had a teardrop tattoo, which I think means he killed somebody in prison.
00:08:28Marc:He had the girlfriend with this sort of permanent don't-hit-me face.
00:08:32Marc:And he was just sitting there, not laughing at nothing, giving me the stink eye.
00:08:36Marc:And I think he's thinking, you suck.
00:08:39Marc:You're probably a Jew.
00:08:40Marc:I'm going to kick your ass.
00:08:42Marc:That's what I think he's thinking.
00:08:43Marc:So I keep doing the show and everyone's laughing.
00:08:45Marc:I look at him.
00:08:46Marc:No, fuck you, Jew.
00:08:48Marc:You suck.
00:08:49Marc:I'm going to kick your ass.
00:08:50Marc:This goes on for the whole set, the whole show.
00:08:54Marc:So I get off stage.
00:08:55Marc:I'm standing in the back of the room.
00:08:57Marc:People are filing out.
00:08:58Marc:I'm feeling pretty tough because I got a couple of guys with me.
00:09:00Marc:I mean, I'm not a pussy, but I'm right on the pussy cusp.
00:09:05Marc:I'm in some situations.
00:09:06Marc:I could be considered a pussy, but not so much for most other situations.
00:09:11Marc:Um,
00:09:11Marc:i'll get into this in a minute so i'm standing there and people are filing out and up walks the guy you sucked you i'm gonna kick your ass guy he's standing over me he almost stands me off like he's gonna kick my ass i didn't know what to say so i said so man did you like the show and the guy goes yeah dude you're really funny and i was like what the fuck
00:09:31Marc:What?
00:09:32Marc:Because that means the guy who was saying, you suck, Jew, I'm going to kick your ass, lives in my head.
00:09:38Marc:And I can just put him on anybody.
00:09:40Marc:And to be quite honest with you, he could kick my ass.
00:09:43Marc:That guy could kick my ass.
00:09:44Marc:I'm pretty fucking sure.
00:09:46Marc:I mean...
00:09:46Marc:I'm a loud mouth.
00:09:48Marc:I'm an instigator.
00:09:50Marc:I am a smart ass.
00:09:51Marc:I'm an angry guy.
00:09:53Marc:But I'm very diplomatic.
00:09:56Marc:I'm very diplomatic in the sense that if I'm standing on stage, you know, I'll say, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
00:10:03Marc:But when I get off stage, I'm like, are we cool?
00:10:05Marc:Is everything all right?
00:10:07Marc:And if it gets too ugly, I will, you know,
00:10:10Marc:Move, move away quickly, which I don't think is so bad.
00:10:14Marc:It's not cowardly.
00:10:15Marc:You know, it's not cowardly.
00:10:17Marc:But I started to think like, you know, what kind of man am I?
00:10:20Marc:You know, did you ever ask yourself that question?
00:10:22Marc:I know some of you aren't men, but I'm saying there's probably an equivalent for the woman, but I haven't worked that out yet.
00:10:30Marc:I found the only way you can really figure out what kind of man you are is just take a moment, meditate a little bit, you know, sit down, take a few deep breaths and ask yourself and be honest with yourself.
00:10:40Marc:You know, who would I be in prison?
00:10:43Marc:Just be honest with yourself.
00:10:43Marc:Would you be the guy that's like, you know, hey, OK, I'll wear it.
00:10:47Marc:Don't hit me.
00:10:48Marc:Would you be that guy?
00:10:49Marc:You know, would you be the guy that's like, hey, you guys need cigarettes?
00:10:53Marc:You need you need drugs?
00:10:54Marc:I'll get you whatever you need.
00:10:55Marc:You want to hear a story?
00:10:55Marc:I got some funny stories.
00:10:56Marc:Would you be that guy?
00:10:58Marc:Would you be the guy that's like, shut up, quit crying, be a bitch like a man, just take it?
00:11:01Marc:Would you be that guy?
00:11:02Marc:I don't think I'd be that guy.
00:11:03Marc:I'm not even that much of a guy.
00:11:05Marc:I wasn't even that much of a top with my wife on a good night.
00:11:08Marc:I got a sneak and feel and I'd be the first guy.
00:11:10Marc:Okay, I'll wear it, don't hit me.
00:11:11Marc:And I think most guys would be that guy if you'd never been to jail before, honestly.
00:11:16Marc:Because I think, honestly, all men have an inner girl.
00:11:20Marc:I believe that.
00:11:21Marc:You just don't want her coming out at the wrong time.
00:11:23Marc:That's my belief.
00:11:24Marc:I know I have an inner girl.
00:11:25Marc:I'm not ashamed of her.
00:11:28Marc:I know she's a bitch.
00:11:30Marc:I'm starting to think she has an eating disorder.
00:11:33Marc:And her name's Jill.
00:11:34Marc:And I have no problem with Jill.
00:11:36Marc:I have no problem with Jill.
00:11:37Marc:I can live with Jill.
00:11:39Marc:But Jill does get into trouble sometimes.
00:11:42Marc:You know, like every once in a while, the guy who's up in my head saying, you know, fuck you, Jew.
00:11:46Marc:I'm going to kick your ass says, and I'm going to fuck Jill.
00:11:49Marc:And I don't really know what to do in that situation when your inner biker is about to, you know, rape or have sex with your inner girl.
00:11:56Marc:Do you step in?
00:11:56Marc:Do you try to stop it?
00:11:57Marc:Do you masturbate?
00:11:58Marc:It's never been clear to me what to do.
00:12:00Marc:So if anyone's got any advice on that, I would appreciate it.
00:12:04Marc:I mean, because let's be honest, when it comes down to, you know, animal to evolution, I mean, we really have two choices, fight or flight.
00:12:10Marc:I mean, that's it.
00:12:11Marc:And honestly, I come from a long line of flyers, very, you know,
00:12:15Marc:Angry, loudmouth, opinionated flyers.
00:12:18Marc:But but flyers, you know, nonetheless, I mean, my my dad was a loudmouth pussy.
00:12:23Marc:My grandfather, it goes way back in the Marin line.
00:12:25Marc:And there's no shame in that.
00:12:27Marc:There's no shame in that because the the coward in that way, you know, lives to run away another day.
00:12:33Marc:You just have to find a woman that's into that.
00:12:35Marc:You have to find a woman that you can go home to and say, hey, honey, I'm home.
00:12:39Marc:I ran away again.
00:12:39Marc:And she goes, oh, well, come here and fuck me, a big coward.
00:12:42Marc:And let's have some cowardly kids that are really smart and send them to good colleges.
00:12:46Marc:And they can have all the brutes working for them.
00:12:50Marc:Of course, I didn't turn out like that.
00:13:05Marc:Why do you keep bothering me about... What is the place called?
00:13:08Marc:Super King.
00:13:10Marc:With me now in the garage is one of my favorite comedians, Al Madrigal, a very funny man.
00:13:15Marc:He lives around the corner from me.
00:13:17Marc:And I just... To start this off, I mean, why do you keep... What is it with this Super King...
00:13:22Marc:I mean, what is Super King?
00:13:24Marc:Why do you keep talking about Super King?
00:13:26Guest 4:You went there.
00:13:27Guest 4:I went there once.
00:13:27Guest 4:This is a supermarket, and you called me afterwards with three bags of groceries that you paid $13 for, something like that, and then you said, where do you think they get this shit?
00:13:36Guest 4:Is there something wrong with it?
00:13:38Marc:You keep telling me to go back there, and I don't have a family, but when I go there, I'm overwhelmed.
00:13:42Marc:It seems weird.
00:13:43Marc:I mean, it's like they've got everything.
00:13:45Guest 4:What's great about our neighborhoods, and I live very close to you, is that we have real people.
00:13:50Guest 4:You know, you're living next to a guy who works for the post office.
00:13:54Guest 4:You said the guy on your block drives the hostess truck.
00:13:59Guest 1:He's a truck driver.
00:14:00Guest 4:You live more of a place where people go to hide out in the hills of Highland Park.
00:14:04Guest 4:I guess.
00:14:05Marc:I mean, you know, I've got a drug dealer down the street, too.
00:14:07Marc:Are those even exist?
00:14:08Marc:anymore because I was thinking about drug dealers not coke dealers and like acid and ecstasy he's got something going up the street because they've got this whole neighborhood watch vigilante email circle where they're monitoring people's behavior it's like yeah I'm part of that are you yeah in your neighborhood yeah because we have Mongols Mongols we have the Mexican biker gang lives across the street from us
00:14:29Marc:Oh, God.
00:14:29Marc:So we're all teamed up against that guy.
00:14:31Marc:And what about the post office guy?
00:14:33Marc:How does he feel about the Mongols?
00:14:35Marc:Are the Mongols shopping at Super King?
00:14:37Marc:I think so.
00:14:38Guest 4:Everybody is.
00:14:39Guest 4:Because it's such a great cross-section of people.
00:14:41Guest 4:And it's sort of hipsters who found out about it.
00:14:43Guest 4:But it is old Armenian lady.
00:14:46Guest 4:My wife was in there.
00:14:46Guest 4:Yeah.
00:14:47Guest 4:And she's this great exchange.
00:14:49Guest 4:Because it's all Latino guys working the produce section.
00:14:52Guest 4:And this old Armenian lady comes up to him and says, Where is mint?
00:14:57Guest 4:And then he goes, this is mint right here.
00:14:58Guest 4:And she goes, you call this mint?
00:15:00Guest 4:This mint is shit.
00:15:01Guest 4:And throws it down and steps on it right in front of the face.
00:15:03Guest 4:And the Lithian guy just starts laughing.
00:15:05Guest 4:But everything is so ridiculously inexpensive there where you can't get meat, filet mignon, because it's $4.99 a pound on Tuesday.
00:15:12Marc:Doesn't it make you go, why?
00:15:14Guest 4:Where's it coming from?
00:15:15Guest 4:Is it from China?
00:15:16Guest 4:They're marking down all the meat.
00:15:18Guest 4:No, it's Harris beef.
00:15:20Guest 4:What is Harris beef?
00:15:21Guest 4:I don't know.
00:15:21Guest 4:It's special.
00:15:22Guest 4:Okay.
00:15:23Guest 4:So you can get your salami.
00:15:25Guest 4:The reason this came up is because he has this delicious bocoloni salami that I ate most of.
00:15:29Guest 4:And it's fantastic.
00:15:31Guest 4:The produce is ridiculously inexpensive.
00:15:34Guest 4:So you can get seven or eight lemons for 59 cents and five avocados for a dollar.
00:15:41Guest 4:And so they mark down the produce or they give you the produce and the meat at cost.
00:15:46Guest 4:And I think they hope you buy everything else.
00:15:48Guest 4:I don't understand it.
00:15:49Guest 4:And the milk costs 12 dollars.
00:15:52Guest 4:I don't know.
00:15:53Guest 4:You take the hit somewhere.
00:15:54Guest 4:Yeah, you take the hit somewhere.
00:15:55Guest 4:All right.
00:15:55Guest 4:But if you just go in for the meat and the produce, you're doing pretty good.
00:15:59Guest 4:Super king.
00:16:00Guest 4:I don't even tell people where it is because I don't want anybody else to go.
00:16:04Guest 4:It's packed as it is.
00:16:05Guest 4:All right.
00:16:06Guest 4:So I'll try to keep it on the down.
00:16:07Guest 4:Yeah.
00:16:07Guest 4:Don't go advertising it, but it's delicious.
00:16:09Guest 4:I won't tell anybody.
00:16:10Guest 4:And it's just bags and bags.
00:16:12Guest 4:It goes dirty.
00:16:13Guest 4:My wife breaks out meat constantly.
00:16:15Guest 4:It's always this thing.
00:16:16Guest 4:It's like, how much do you think I paid for this?
00:16:17Guest 4:I can't guess low enough.
00:16:19Guest 4:Yeah.
00:16:19Guest 4:Because it's cheaper every single time.
00:16:20Marc:Just stay away from the mint.
00:16:22Guest 4:Yeah, because it's been stepped on by an old Armenian lady.
00:16:26Guest 4:God knows where those people are walking.
00:16:28Guest 4:Yeah, I don't like them.
00:16:32Marc:All right.
00:16:33Marc:So what was your experience in Alabama?
00:16:35Guest 4:It was a great place.
00:16:37Guest 4:This wonderful little club called The Bottle Tree, which is mostly a music venue.
00:16:40Guest 4:And I'm not a big fan of people standing.
00:16:43Guest 4:Yeah, I don't like it either.
00:16:45Guest 4:Let's go do rock club singing.
00:16:47Guest 4:I look forward to the day when people are that willing to come out and put themselves through that.
00:16:54Guest 4:Because I just can't stand for that long.
00:16:56Guest 4:And there were some older people there.
00:16:58Guest 4:I'm 38 years old.
00:17:00Guest 4:And I don't think my legs can take it for two hours just standing up with nothing to lean on.
00:17:05Guest 4:Yeah.
00:17:06Guest 4:And there's a chatter at the bar.
00:17:07Guest 4:Right.
00:17:09Guest 4:We had a lot of bar chatter there.
00:17:10Guest 4:And a great crowd.
00:17:13Guest 4:The bottle tree trails were great.
00:17:14Guest 4:And Baltimore, this place is the ram's head.
00:17:17Guest 4:Yeah.
00:17:18Guest 4:And a lot of bar chatter there as well.
00:17:20Guest 4:And because people were standing, right?
00:17:23Guest 4:People were standing at the bar and belly up to the bar and ordering drinks.
00:17:25Marc:And how's your mom chit chat?
00:17:28Marc:Like I had just last night I had that.
00:17:30Marc:I mean, I just did.
00:17:31Marc:I'm not used to doing those kind of rock clubs.
00:17:33Marc:I've done it before.
00:17:34Marc:But last night I did this unknown theater gig where they had people in the theater.
00:17:37Marc:And then there was a bar scene going on, you know, behind in the lobby.
00:17:42Marc:And I could hear the people in there.
00:17:44Marc:And I said to the guy, I said, dude, it's disrespectful.
00:17:46Marc:I mean, it's a fucking comedy show.
00:17:48Guest 4:But you were able to plow through it?
00:17:49Guest 4:Yeah.
00:17:51Guest 4:I don't stop, and I just keep going and going, and I put my head down, and just sort of go for it.
00:17:56Guest 4:But Freddie Soto, who passed away a bunch of years ago, I remember somebody came up to him and said, hey, it was that Jay Davis guy.
00:18:05Guest 4:Yeah, right.
00:18:06Guest 4:He comes up and says, hey, man, will you want to do my room, the Dublin's?
00:18:09Guest 4:And he goes, no, thank you.
00:18:13Guest 4:Yeah.
00:18:13Guest 4:And he goes, no, but it's a great—you know, Justin Timberlake was showing up, and all these young celebrities are there, and it's packed out.
00:18:21Guest 4:I mean, there's 300, 400 people in this upstairs room at the Dublins, right?
00:18:25Guest 4:Yeah.
00:18:25Guest 4:And he goes, no, no, man.
00:18:27Guest 4:He goes, is it a comedy club?
00:18:29Guest 4:And the guy goes, no.
00:18:30Guest 4:And he goes, is it a theater?
00:18:32Guest 4:And he goes, no, no.
00:18:33Guest 4:It's upstairs of a bar.
00:18:35Guest 4:There's a bar.
00:18:35Guest 4:And he goes, no, thanks, man.
00:18:37Guest 4:I only do comedy clubs and theaters.
00:18:38Marc:I think it's smart.
00:18:39Marc:I mean, I had that conversation yesterday when I went and did that gig with the woman who's living at my house.
00:18:45Marc:I'm driving back.
00:18:46Marc:I'm like, I can't deal with this sort of comedy shows that start out like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:18:51Marc:you know and like let's get the kids on them you know and i'm like oh my god and then i was they had this band there they had a band that was like playing like pink floyd tangerine dream sort of like weird stoner groove shit and it was really good and i'm like there's no way that little insecure people who are going to talk into that mic are even going to match up to this sure i don't i don't even like being brought on to loud music no because i have that moment where i'm like that how can i follow that
00:19:16Guest 4:I think it's hilarious.
00:19:18Guest 4:You're brought on to, like, reggaeton, like, dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun.
00:19:22Guest 4:And then we walk out, it's like, oh, Kevin Catoca has that great joke where he's like, are you ready for some talking?
00:19:28Guest 4:Are you ready for a guy?
00:19:30Guest 4:One guy in a microphone in Miami at the improv, they actually have a DJ, like this guy, Kid Capri Styles, on two turntables next to you, bringing it up to scratching.
00:19:43Guest 4:And it's like, hey there, DJ.
00:19:45Guest 4:Ha ha.
00:19:46Guest 4:He's just sitting there?
00:19:47Guest 4:He's on the side the whole time.
00:19:49Guest 4:It's the worst.
00:19:50Guest 4:It's the worst.
00:19:51Guest 4:Yeah, comedy's fucking horrible.
00:19:53Guest 4:I'm looking to get out now as soon as I can.
00:19:55Guest 4:I really am.
00:19:55Guest 4:I hit 10, I'm in about 10, 11 years and I'm planning my exit.
00:19:59Guest 4:There's no getting out now.
00:20:01Guest 4:I don't have any skills.
00:20:02Guest 4:There's no getting out.
00:20:03Guest 4:But I figure I could write.
00:20:04Guest 4:I'm really trying to write and get out as much as I can because I'm going to Tempe Improv.
00:20:08Guest 4:I'm at the Tempe Improv tomorrow.
00:20:10Guest 4:Does Dan Murr still have anything to do with that?
00:20:12Guest 4:He's fired.
00:20:13Guest 4:It's Murrless.
00:20:14Guest 4:Wow.
00:20:15Guest 4:Dan Murr is this comedy character.
00:20:19Guest 4:All these club owners are just fucking hilarious.
00:20:22Guest 4:Tom Sawyer is a great one.
00:20:24Guest 4:They maybe did the stand-up ones.
00:20:26Marc:They're little Napoleons.
00:20:29Marc:They run their own shops.
00:20:30Guest 4:They're popular in their community.
00:20:32Marc:It's like local celebrities.
00:20:34Marc:Well, the weird thing about them, and I don't have any problems with any of them, but they really are, at the bottom level, the gatekeepers to a lot of people's success.
00:20:43Marc:I mean, they decide whether or not you get stage time.
00:20:45Marc:They decide whether or not they're going to let you work at their club so you can...
00:20:48Marc:They have a lot of power, and they don't have to answer to anybody, and that makes them dangerous.
00:20:54Guest 4:Oh, and I remember Huck.
00:20:57Guest 4:There was a guy, Huck, in San Francisco that ran a Sunday night showcase, and I sat, when I first started doing stand-up comedy, I sat in the back of the room for nine months, and I waited my turn, and then he finally came up to me and three other guys and said, okay, I'm going to give each of you guys two minutes.
00:21:13Guest 4:Yeah.
00:21:13Guest 4:And then I huddled up with the guys saying, no, thank you.
00:21:16Guest 4:We will be.
00:21:17Guest 4:Yeah, they just and he was cocky about it, too.
00:21:20Marc:Yeah, I couldn't.
00:21:20Marc:I really, you know, I've got stories about that about and it's different now.
00:21:24Marc:You know, when I started, there was none of this sort of comics putting on shows for other comics.
00:21:29Marc:You know, anyone could do comedy anywhere as long as you get the room in the night and you can make a Facebook invite or whatever the fuck it is.
00:21:35Marc:I mean, when I started, it was like there were open mics and there was a late night, and that's it.
00:21:40Marc:That's it.
00:21:41Marc:You got to wait around and watch everybody in show business go on, and then maybe they'll throw you a bone.
00:21:45Marc:I fucking hated it.
00:21:47Guest 4:When I started doing open mics, we were in three weeks, me and this other guy, and we decided we need out of this as soon as possible.
00:21:56Guest 4:This is fucking horrible.
00:21:57Guest 4:No microphone, homeless lady passed out, and you're out there doing this.
00:22:02Guest 4:But you put yourself through horrible shit.
00:22:03Guest 4:I remember being... You go to...
00:22:05Guest 4:When I first came down here, I would see you all the time at the Ramada, which is Monday night.
00:22:10Guest 4:Maybe they'd lure some people down from the hotel motel on Vermont.
00:22:16Guest 4:I know.
00:22:16Guest 4:I don't know why I do that.
00:22:17Guest 4:Why do you do that?
00:22:18Marc:I don't know why I do that.
00:22:19Marc:Why do you do all the gigs that you do?
00:22:21Marc:I don't know.
00:22:21Marc:I did one last night.
00:22:23Marc:I did the Tiger Lily show, which was okay.
00:22:25Marc:And I did one the night before at that unknown theater place.
00:22:28Marc:Because you sound like a dick when you say no.
00:22:31Marc:You really do.
00:22:31Guest 1:Well, no, it's not even that.
00:22:32Marc:They'll ask you constantly.
00:22:35Marc:And they want to have you on their show because it makes their show look better.
00:22:38Marc:And to be quite honest with you, in those situations where there's no pressure and there's a high potential that I might lose it a little bit, but I've got nothing to lose at all,
00:22:48Marc:I've generated some real material.
00:22:51Marc:I mean, I generated bits at the Ramada Inn that I did on Conan.
00:22:55Marc:Because I'm a guy that writes on stage.
00:22:57Marc:I'm not going to go up with a written joke.
00:22:59Marc:So it's going to happen in that moment.
00:23:00Marc:And if it happens in the moment and it sticks in my head...
00:23:03Marc:then I'll use it.
00:23:04Marc:So in those situations, I happen to fucking generate Seth.
00:23:07Guest 4:Yeah.
00:23:08Guest 4:I mean, I don't know what your process is, but I got to fucking... No, I just try to do the same thing at comedy clubs, and I'll come up with some sort of idea and then try to work it out at the store.
00:23:18Guest 4:The comedy store is the good open mic.
00:23:20Marc:Yeah, it can be.
00:23:22Marc:Sometimes the comedy store, it's a great old place, but it's a little baffling to me how...
00:23:28Marc:You know, actually, that's not true.
00:23:29Marc:It is a good place to work out shit.
00:23:31Guest 4:A lot of... I just had one of the door guys from the comedy store come work out.
00:23:36Guest 4:They're drugging it up over there.
00:23:39Marc:Are they?
00:23:39Guest 4:Yeah.
00:23:40Guest 4:They're going at it?
00:23:40Guest 4:They're going at it big time.
00:23:42Guest 4:I think it's all over with.
00:23:43Guest 4:Old school, what they got rid of them?
00:23:44Guest 4:You got a lot of cops that listen to this show, man?
00:23:46Guest 4:No.
00:23:47Guest 4:All right.
00:23:47Guest 4:I don't know who listens to this show.
00:23:49Guest 4:But, yeah, it's all gone if you're...
00:23:52Guest 4:No, I mean, it comes and goes at that place.
00:23:54Guest 4:It really goes.
00:23:55Guest 4:It apparently came big time.
00:23:57Guest 4:How the hell did I miss that?
00:23:58Guest 4:There was like four or five Coke dealers walking around that place.
00:24:01Guest 4:No kidding?
00:24:01Guest 4:Yeah.
00:24:01Guest 4:And they got them out?
00:24:02Guest 4:Yeah.
00:24:03Guest 4:Wow.
00:24:04Guest 4:And all the, you know, like the comics that were trying to be comics are hanging out.
00:24:09Guest 4:Jacked up.
00:24:10Guest 4:All like walking around all jacked up.
00:24:12Guest 4:I'm glad.
00:24:12Guest 4:See, I go home early.
00:24:13Marc:That's how it was when I started.
00:24:15Guest 4:Yeah.
00:24:16Marc:Well, you started as you were a door guy at the comedy store.
00:24:18Marc:Yeah, that's how it starts.
00:24:19Marc:Yeah, that's amazing about having comics like the whole system of that place that I think is really funny is that they got all comics.
00:24:27Marc:They want comics doing all the jobs, the door jobs, which means that if any shit goes down, who the fuck's going to deal with it?
00:24:34Guest 4:That was the worst.
00:24:34Guest 4:And they have a La Jolla comedy store.
00:24:36Guest 4:And I had some trouble break out, and I looked at the door guys, and they were half the size of me.
00:24:43Guest 4:They were little brownies, these waifish kids.
00:24:46Guest 4:You know, the hipster comic now?
00:24:48Guest 4:Yeah.
00:24:49Guest 4:Come to the side.
00:24:51Guest 1:So the shit went down.
00:24:53Guest 4:How'd you deal with it?
00:24:54Guest 4:I was like, can we really?
00:24:56Guest 4:I need all the staff members here.
00:24:58Guest 4:I want everyone.
00:24:59Guest 4:And can we get real bouncers?
00:25:00Guest 4:What the fuck?
00:25:01Guest 4:I was just screaming.
00:25:02Marc:And at the club in Hollywood, which is like a fucking riffraff palace.
00:25:05Guest 4:Yeah.
00:25:06Marc:I mean, if shit goes down there, you just see a bunch of comics going, I don't know if I should.
00:25:09Marc:I didn't sign up for this.
00:25:11Marc:I mean, some woman puked in the fucking room.
00:25:14Marc:And the door guy's like, I'm a comic.
00:25:16Guest 4:Yeah, I'm not touching this shit.
00:25:17Guest 4:For people who have never been and live in Los Angeles and everybody goes to UCB and hangs out and it's fantastic.
00:25:23Guest 4:Great.
00:25:23Guest 4:Go to UCB.
00:25:24Guest 4:You've got to start talking about the comedy store.
00:25:26Guest 4:There's a guy selling shampoo in the back.
00:25:29Guest 4:Yeah.
00:25:30Marc:I saw a guy rolling shit around in a baby carriage.
00:25:34Marc:Yeah.
00:25:35Marc:Yeah, no, the comedy story.
00:25:36Guest 4:Boom shakalaka, right?
00:25:37Marc:Yeah, yeah.
00:25:38Guest 4:He comes up, he's gone.
00:25:39Guest 4:Shoes, records, all the comics.
00:25:40Guest 4:Like, what do you got today?
00:25:41Guest 4:Boom.
00:25:42Guest 4:It really is like something on a car wash or something.
00:25:45Marc:I don't know what it is about that place that attracts it, but there is always like, it's like when you go back in the old days where if you'd see the lineup when the open micers would line up to sign up for potluck at like five in the afternoon.
00:25:56Marc:I don't know if they still have to do that.
00:25:58Marc:Do they do potluck like that where there's a sign up?
00:26:00Marc:I think there might be.
00:26:01Marc:Oh, God.
00:26:02Marc:You used to see these people, they'd be wearing garbage bags and chef hats and they'd have their acts.
00:26:06Marc:They're all ready to do the song and dance.
00:26:08Guest 4:Yeah, it's crazy.
00:26:09Guest 4:It really is.
00:26:10Guest 4:There was another thing where I think a porn star was hanging out the other night.
00:26:15Guest 4:He used to always hang out.
00:26:16Guest 4:So there's a lot of...
00:26:17Marc:Ron Jeremy used to hang around.
00:26:18Marc:I mean, the place just, somehow or another, it attracts the darkest, most perverse element of Hollywood.
00:26:27Marc:It always has.
00:26:28Guest 4:Maybe if one of the vinyl couches or booths rips, they'll fix that.
00:26:34Guest 4:Right.
00:26:35Guest 4:But for the most part, not one thing has changed.
00:26:38Right.
00:26:38Marc:So what's happened?
00:26:39Marc:Where else have you been?
00:26:40Marc:You have any trouble on the road lately?
00:26:42Guest 4:No, I'd really like to get off the road.
00:26:44Guest 4:That's my whole thing.
00:26:45Marc:That's the weird thing.
00:26:46Marc:I can barely get booked for whatever reason.
00:26:49Marc:It's probably my own fault.
00:26:50Marc:I've been out of the loop.
00:26:51Marc:Which is crazy.
00:26:53Marc:Doing radio and stuff, and I've been doing the one-man show.
00:26:55Marc:But I say, I want to get road work, and people are like, why?
00:27:00Marc:Why?
00:27:00Marc:You know, going out there when, because you're like me, I mean, though you've had some exposure on some sitcoms for a little while, I mean, people don't really know who you are.
00:27:07Guest 4:20% of the crowd is coming out to see me.
00:27:09Marc:Right, exactly.
00:27:10Marc:So you've got a bunch of people that aren't there for you to see what they think comedy should be.
00:27:15Marc:Sure.
00:27:15Marc:And you got to go get them.
00:27:16Marc:You got to go get them.
00:27:18Guest 4:And it's much more difficult than an established act going out and people are excited from the very beginning and they're lining up and there's a buzz.
00:27:25Guest 4:And I've seen it happen where you have this grace period where it just doesn't matter what you say in the beginning.
00:27:32Guest 4:But I've got to come out.
00:27:33Guest 4:hit them hard and go quick and not let them down and so go low and clock in and really work and make a fraction of what these people are making.
00:27:42Marc:What was weird about England?
00:27:45Marc:Because I want to go out there and I've never really done it.
00:27:47Marc:I've done Ireland and Scotland and
00:27:49Marc:But I've never done Britain.
00:27:51Marc:Would you find any difference?
00:27:52Marc:No, I really didn't.
00:27:53Marc:I think it was fine.
00:27:54Marc:They laughed at you?
00:27:55Marc:Yeah, they laughed.
00:27:56Marc:Did they like Janine?
00:27:57Guest 4:They liked Janine, yeah.
00:27:58Marc:Were they there to see her?
00:27:59Guest 4:Sure.
00:27:59Guest 4:Everybody's there to see her.
00:28:00Guest 4:And that was weird about people there to see me.
00:28:03Guest 4:I went out with Mitch Hedberg for about 25 dates and pretty decent size, 3,000 seaters.
00:28:08Guest 4:Back in the day?
00:28:10Guest 4:Yeah.
00:28:10Guest 4:Before he died?
00:28:11Guest 4:Yeah.
00:28:12Guest 4:Actually, we toured around his coffin.
00:28:15Guest 4:You did that weird coffin tour.
00:28:16Marc:Yeah, I did the coffin tour.
00:28:17Marc:His fans are really good with that.
00:28:19Marc:Anything.
00:28:19Marc:They'll just sit there and watch a coffin for an hour.
00:28:22Guest 4:Yeah.
00:28:23Guest 4:Ugh, the weekend of Bernie's.
00:28:24Marc:Moving back and forth.
00:28:25Guest 4:Yeah.
00:28:26Guest 4:Putting sunglasses on him.
00:28:28Guest 4:Lynn's walking around.
00:28:29Guest 4:Aren't people like this?
00:28:30Guest 4:Do people?
00:28:32Marc:That's horrible.
00:28:33Marc:It is pretty horrible.
00:28:34Guest 4:So I went on that, and people didn't expect to see me and didn't want to see me.
00:28:39Guest 4:I went out with Chappelle for a bunch of dates.
00:28:42Marc:What was it like working with Hedberg at that time?
00:28:44Marc:I mean, what period was that?
00:28:46Marc:Was that when he was big, I guess?
00:28:48Marc:Yeah.
00:28:49Marc:Like right before he died?
00:28:50Guest 4:It was about a year before, maybe a little bit less.
00:28:55Guest 4:And how was he holding up?
00:28:56Guest 4:Was it like touch and go?
00:28:57Guest 4:It was crazy.
00:28:58Guest 4:It was a weird time.
00:29:00Guest 4:And it was a lot of drugs, a lot of booze.
00:29:05Guest 4:The first show that I did, if people should look up this, if you Google Mitch Hedberg in Phoenix at the Celebrity Theater, I believe it is.
00:29:15Guest 4:It was my first date.
00:29:16Guest 4:It was a theater in the round.
00:29:18Guest 4:and there was this great South African guy that used to tour with the Stones that was running the road.
00:29:24Guest 4:Right.
00:29:24Guest 4:This date was for Live Nation.
00:29:26Guest 4:Right.
00:29:26Guest 4:And looks at me, and it was theater in the round, so like the old Circle Star where it's actually spinning around.
00:29:33Guest 4:Oh, God.
00:29:34Guest 4:And I think...
00:29:35Guest 4:We matched up with Stephen Lynch, who is a guitar comic.
00:29:39Marc:Right.
00:29:39Marc:I remember that.
00:29:40Guest 4:And Mitch did just opposites.
00:29:42Marc:Right.
00:29:43Guest 4:And Bottle Kettle One.
00:29:45Guest 4:On the stage.
00:29:47Guest 4:No, just in a bag that was draining.
00:29:49Guest 4:He loved the Kettle One.
00:29:50Guest 1:Yeah.
00:29:50Guest 1:Who doesn't?
00:29:51Guest 1:Yeah.
00:29:51Guest 4:It was good stuff.
00:29:52Marc:I liked it.
00:29:52Guest 4:Yeah, sure.
00:29:53Guest 4:Sure, yeah.
00:29:54Guest 4:So we had Bottle Kettle One.
00:29:56Guest 4:He brought a masseuse back, three or four Xanax.
00:30:00Guest 4:Yeah.
00:30:01Guest 4:Yeah.
00:30:01Guest 4:It's a party, man.
00:30:03Guest 4:This is my first date.
00:30:05Guest 4:And so he goes, I go up and do some time and things are great.
00:30:08Guest 4:Because Stephen Lynch goes, you know, does very well.
00:30:11Guest 4:And then Mitch has been backstage with a masseuse and a bottle of Kettle One and Susan Xanax.
00:30:18Guest 4:And then he goes up and starts rolling around on the stage as it's spinning around.
00:30:23Guest 4:Makes out with an old lady.
00:30:25Guest 4:Yeah.
00:30:26Guest 4:Old lady just walks up and she just starts making out out there and asks people to throw pills up on stage.
00:30:32Guest 4:And meanwhile, this Nigel guy, he says, Al, I think people are going to want their money back.
00:30:38Guest 4:And he gets on a red headset and goes, close the box office.
00:30:41Guest 4:You just imagine the windows going down.
00:30:44Guest 4:And it was nuts.
00:30:46Guest 4:You could read all about it.
00:30:47Guest 4:Somebody did a great job of transcribing the thing.
00:30:49Guest 4:So then at the guy, Nigel says, hey, man, we got to end this.
00:30:53Guest 4:This is bad.
00:30:54Guest 4:He's rolling around.
00:30:55Guest 4:And so he says, you got to do something.
00:30:59Guest 4:This happened a couple of times.
00:31:00Guest 4:They look at me.
00:31:01Guest 4:I'm the host.
00:31:02Guest 4:Yeah.
00:31:02Guest 4:They go, dude, you got it.
00:31:03Guest 4:How is it on me?
00:31:04Guest 4:I'm the host.
00:31:05Guest 4:It was horrible.
00:31:07Guest 4:Like, you do something.
00:31:08Guest 4:I'm just coming in to make my, you know, whatever it is, $750.
00:31:11Guest 4:It's the same problem.
00:31:12Marc:It's a comedy store.
00:31:13Marc:Somebody's got to step in.
00:31:14Marc:Somebody's got to do something.
00:31:15Guest 4:I don't know.
00:31:16Guest 4:comic i'm just i don't want to work my way up at this fucking place and i don't want to clean a vomit or yeah deal with that guy so what did you do so they push you know i get pushed out there and um i had this weird surreal moment where he's like i love you al come here al it hadn't held me
00:31:36Guest 4:So it was more like, hey, Mitch Hedberg, ladies and gentlemen, you shake the hand.
00:31:39Guest 4:But then he grabbed me and we hugged and just held each other for a good 30 seconds.
00:31:46Guest 4:So we're spinning around holding each other as people are leaving in droves.
00:31:53Guest 4:No.
00:31:53Guest 4:It's weird.
00:31:54Guest 4:All the Mitch fans are just loving it.
00:31:56Guest 4:And I'm just holding it.
00:31:57Guest 4:I'm like, oh, my God, this is the first one.
00:32:00Guest 4:And I did 25 more of those.
00:32:02Guest 4:This is the first one.
00:32:04Guest 4:Yeah.
00:32:05Guest 4:It was crazy.
00:32:06Guest 4:Then he just got put in a car and driven away and... Did people ask for their money back?
00:32:10Guest 4:I'm sure people did.
00:32:11Guest 4:I mean, there was a mass exodus where, you know, you couldn't get the jokes out.
00:32:15Guest 4:But, you know, I saw him do some brilliant things where...
00:32:17Guest 4:He was doing a lot of new material on a regular basis, and he was great to his fans.
00:32:22Guest 4:We were in Iowa, and these poor kids got stuck at the show because their car broke down.
00:32:28Guest 4:He gave them money for a hotel and money to fix their car.
00:32:31Guest 4:He's very generous.
00:32:32Marc:No, yeah, he was a sweet guy.
00:32:33Marc:There was no doubt about that.
00:32:35Marc:And it was definitely hit or miss.
00:32:38Marc:But he always stuck by his groove.
00:32:39Marc:He was one of those guys that either he was fucked up or he did Mitch.
00:32:43Marc:There was no default mode.
00:32:45Marc:It's like, well, this ain't working.
00:32:46Marc:I'm going to go to this.
00:32:48Marc:Yeah.
00:32:49Guest 4:Here's that bit that always works.
00:32:50Guest 4:There were a couple things that were super competitive as well with Steven.
00:32:54Guest 4:So if you felt like the crowd was more there to see Steven Lynch, it really sent him into a tizzy.
00:32:59Guest 4:Oh, really?
00:33:00Guest 4:Yeah.
00:33:00Guest 4:Screaming at him.
00:33:01Guest 4:Really?
00:33:02Guest 4:Yeah.
00:33:03Guest 4:You people don't like this?
00:33:05Guest 4:You know what I mean?
00:33:06Guest 4:I'm in Seattle yelling at the...
00:33:08Guest 4:They wanted them offstage because we were about to go.
00:33:10Guest 4:We had a curfew.
00:33:12Guest 4:A lot of these theaters have union people working, and you have to be offstage at a specific time.
00:33:18Guest 4:This is run a couple years after Nick and Jessica, the MTV show, had come out.
00:33:24Guest 4:And so they were going to do, for Comedy Central, they were going to do this Lynn and Mitch thing.
00:33:28Marc:Yeah, the Lynn and Mitch thing.
00:33:30Guest 4:And there's footage.
00:33:31Guest 4:They shot.
00:33:31Guest 4:They did the pilot.
00:33:33Guest 4:Yeah.
00:33:33Guest 4:And I'm backstage.
00:33:35Guest 4:And they need Mitch off stage.
00:33:37Guest 4:And Lynn looks at me and says, you got to do something.
00:33:41Guest 4:Again.
00:33:42Guest 4:I'm not going to do it.
00:33:43Guest 4:And I remember, and they probably have it all.
00:33:45Guest 4:It's like, I'm not going to do anything.
00:33:46Guest 4:You're his fucking wife.
00:33:47Guest 4:You do something.
00:33:48Guest 4:I'm just the opener.
00:33:49Guest 4:I'm not going to do shit.
00:33:51Guest 4:And sure enough, I get physically pushed out on stage.
00:33:55Guest 4:And I do the slow clap.
00:33:56Guest 4:I go, Mitch Hammer.
00:33:58Guest 4:Flips out.
00:33:59Guest 4:He flipped out.
00:33:59Guest 4:On me.
00:34:00Guest 4:Oh, no.
00:34:01Guest 4:Al Madrigal.
00:34:02Guest 4:I'm not going to be brought off stage by the likes of Al Madrigal.
00:34:04Guest 4:Fuck Al Madrigal.
00:34:05Guest 4:Just flipping out.
00:34:07Guest 4:Shay Lee, the guy who's running the whole show, is laughing.
00:34:11Guest 4:Yeah.
00:34:11Guest 4:He just thinks it's hysterical.
00:34:13Guest 4:Yeah.
00:34:13Guest 4:Every, you know, bottle of kettle one.
00:34:16Guest 4:Everybody's having a glass.
00:34:18Guest 4:We're all wasted at that point.
00:34:20Guest 4:You know, it's like, what the fuck is it?
00:34:21Guest 4:I'm, you know, like a set, you're beating dog, you know, with my head.
00:34:25Guest 4:I go back to Lynn and I go, see what you fucking did?
00:34:27Guest 4:I didn't want to do that.
00:34:28Guest 4:You did that to me.
00:34:29Guest 4:You did that to me.
00:34:31Guest 4:So you were wasted too?
00:34:32Marc:Yeah.
00:34:33Marc:Lynn took the hit?
00:34:33Marc:Yeah.
00:34:34Marc:That's funny.
00:34:34Guest 4:And so, and then he goes, I don't want to be bought off stage.
00:34:37Guest 4:And somebody goes, the union guys.
00:34:39Guest 4:Fuck the union guys.
00:34:40Guest 4:Oh, no.
00:34:41Guest 4:But in the meantime, he had just given Christmas ornaments with his face on them to everybody in the audience.
00:34:50Guest 4:So... Where was that?
00:34:52Guest 4:Seattle at the Moor.
00:34:53Guest 4:Oh, my God.
00:34:54Guest 4:So, anyway, it was just... Everything was surreal, and I remember quitting that night and calling... I think I called...
00:35:01Guest 4:wills or somebody else like somebody's got to do something i don't want to be on these shows anymore somebody's gonna this is gonna be meet a horrible end yeah and i remember having this phone call i was like you guys gotta stop you gotta take them off the road right now yeah it's a great event because there's something bad i remember saying it's like something bad's gonna happen and something bad did happen yeah
00:35:19Guest 4:It must have been towards the end of that tour.
00:35:21Guest 4:We had everybody giving us everything.
00:35:23Guest 4:And that's the thing was when you reach rock star status.
00:35:26Guest 4:And it's because you're a druggie.
00:35:28Guest 4:Like, you know, when people know you're into it.
00:35:29Guest 4:Oh, and all we had to do was mention it.
00:35:32Guest 4:We had five dudes lined up.
00:35:35Guest 4:Yeah.
00:35:35Guest 4:Ready at the green room door.
00:35:37Guest 4:Unbelievable.
00:35:38Guest 4:Bring them in.
00:35:39Guest 4:He really lived it.
00:35:40Guest 4:Yeah, no, it was great.
00:35:41Guest 4:We had an RV at one point that he bought.
00:35:45Guest 4:He bought it on the road?
00:35:47Guest 4:He bought an RV.
00:35:48Guest 4:So I remember showing up because we do, we were driving around this RV.
00:35:53Guest 4:Yeah.
00:35:53Guest 4:And I was half sleeping thinking, okay, this is how I die.
00:35:55Marc:Who's driving?
00:35:56Marc:This is a pretty cool way to die.
00:35:57Marc:Who was driving?
00:35:58Marc:He was.
00:35:59Marc:Oh, no.
00:36:02Marc:Mitch is driving the RV?
00:36:03Marc:Yeah.
00:36:06Guest 4:Yeah, I was really kitschy.
00:36:08Guest 4:We had all this stuff with, you know, Lin and Mitch magnets on the fridge.
00:36:12Guest 4:He can barely keep his eyes open on stage.
00:36:14Guest 4:Grasping a fold-out table.
00:36:17Guest 4:You were thinking like, this can't be in.
00:36:20Guest 4:We're rolling this thing.
00:36:21Guest 4:I'm in it.
00:36:22Guest 4:But at the same time, it was one of the coolest stuff that I'll never forget.
00:36:26Marc:How long have you been doing it then?
00:36:28Marc:Was it like you were about eight years in, seven years in?
00:36:30Marc:No, it's a while ago, I guess.
00:36:32Marc:Yeah, six or seven, you know, six maybe.
00:36:34Marc:Well, what's good?
00:36:35Marc:You didn't get sucked down.
00:36:36Marc:You wouldn't have your beautiful kids and your life.
00:36:38Guest 4:Yeah, now we've got to take kids.
00:36:39Marc:You held everything on.
00:36:40Marc:You held on.
00:36:41Guest 4:No, it really made me appreciate all of that a lot.
00:36:44Guest 4:And The Road does, too.
00:36:45Guest 4:It's just seeing all these other stand-ups and like, guys, you get addicted.
00:36:49Guest 4:It's bad, you know?
00:36:52Guest 4:No, it's bad.
00:36:53Guest 4:It's such a horrible life because we have free liquor.
00:36:55Marc:everywhere we go yeah you can free everything if you just you know if you reach out for it i could really get my hands on anything yeah at through the comedy store i'm sure the guy who sells shampoo sure could find something that would do something to you sure well that well it's good that you made those choices i mean uh because this business certainly sucks people down and there's a lot of guys out there that no one knows anymore that you come over and you bake sure i'll come over bring a cake over how's your do you ever do any angry chef stuff
00:37:23Marc:Have I done some?
00:37:25Marc:Yeah.
00:37:25Marc:Well, I did the, yeah, I did the Angry Chef for the show I did on the internet.
00:37:29Marc:I didn't really pitch it around or anything.
00:37:31Guest 4:I think it's a hilarious idea.
00:37:32Marc:Because you do rate, you made tres leches.
00:37:35Guest 4:You didn't see it?
00:37:36Guest 4:You didn't see the Angry Chef?
00:37:36Guest 4:I didn't see the Angry Chef.
00:37:37Guest 4:I can find that?
00:37:38Guest 4:I'll make you real.
00:37:39Guest 4:How's your lovely wife and baby?
00:37:42Guest 4:She's great.
00:37:43Guest 4:Everything is in.
00:37:45Guest 4:We moved our entire kitchen into the dining room area, and we're living out of, you know.
00:37:51Guest 4:She's a good cook, too.
00:37:51Guest 4:She's a great cook.
00:37:52Guest 4:That's why I felt like she really deserves this new kitchen.
00:37:55Marc:Yeah.
00:37:56Marc:She earned it.
00:37:57Marc:Yeah.
00:37:57Marc:She certainly did earn it.
00:37:58Marc:Yeah.
00:37:59Marc:You on the road with Hedberg and disappearing for weeks.
00:38:02Marc:Yeah, yeah.
00:38:03Marc:They do earn it by being our, some of them earn it and then take it.
00:38:07Marc:They leave with it.
00:38:08Marc:Yeah, sure.
00:38:09Marc:I had that experience.
00:38:09Marc:That can't happen.
00:38:10Marc:Don't let that happen, man.
00:38:12Guest 4:She doesn't seem like the type.
00:38:13Guest 4:No, no, I think.
00:38:14Guest 4:I think you're in.
00:38:15Guest 4:I got a good one.
00:38:16Guest 4:When am I going to come over now to eat?
00:38:18Guest 4:Soon.
00:38:19Guest 4:As soon as we get this.
00:38:20Guest 4:I'd say we're about a week and a half away.
00:38:21Guest 4:I've got two weeks on the road.
00:38:23Guest 4:I'm in Tempe and then Dallas.
00:38:25Guest 4:Okay.
00:38:26Guest 4:And then I'm back.
00:38:27Guest 4:Nothing.
00:38:28Marc:Nothing at all in November.
00:38:29Marc:Dude, I've got a weekend in Atlanta in November, and I'm at the UCB on Friday.
00:38:34Marc:And after that, I don't know.
00:38:36Marc:I don't know what's going to happen.
00:38:37Guest 4:But you got a good nest egg.
00:38:39Marc:Kind of.
00:38:40Marc:I can hold on for a little while, and I love doing the podcast, and that seems to be taking off a bit.
00:38:44Marc:I got the one-man show up on the lift, and I've been tweaking that.
00:38:49Marc:I did it in Chicago for a few days.
00:38:50Guest 4:Every time I hear about you going to Montreal or Aspen or anything like that, it's like Marin.
00:38:57Guest 4:Whoa, you really did it.
00:38:58Guest 4:Oh, really?
00:38:59Guest 4:Yeah.
00:39:00Guest 4:Oh, good.
00:39:00Guest 4:And then nothing.
00:39:01Guest 4:Yeah.
00:39:04Marc:Oh, Maren pushed it out there.
00:39:06Marc:He really did it.
00:39:07Guest 4:We'll see him in a couple years.
00:39:08Marc:Yeah.
00:39:09Marc:All right.
00:39:10Marc:Well, let's see if we can make something happen.
00:39:11Marc:It's good talking to you, Al.
00:39:12Marc:Great talking to you.
00:39:23Marc:Right now, we take a moment to recollect in our times of sorrow as we look back on the lives of the recently departed.
00:39:29Marc:Here now is grief correspondent Mort Mortensen with our weekly remembrance.
00:39:38Guest 2:Wow, you all right there?
00:39:44Guest 2:It's a flu virus thing.
00:39:46Marc:Sure, sure, yeah.
00:39:48Guest 2:Hey, people keep dying, and this is part of it.
00:39:53Guest 2:Lucy Vauden, music victim.
00:39:56Guest 2:Lucy Vauden, the girl who inspired the Beatles song, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, is now Lucy in the Ground with Worms.
00:40:04Guest 2:You could say she's a dead little girl and not with another man.
00:40:10Marc:You're singing a little now.
00:40:11Marc:You okay?
00:40:12Guest 2:Yeah, I'm all right.
00:40:13Guest 2:You okay?
00:40:14Guest 2:Her death was announced 40 years to the day after Yoko killed the White Album.
00:40:20Guest 2:You know, Mark, back in 1967, Vaudin was a schoolmate of John Lennon's son, Julian, who brought home a drawing and called it Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
00:40:30Guest 2:But Lennon didn't use it as an inspiration for a psychedelic masterpiece until Eric Clapton brought home a bag and called it heroin.
00:40:39Prudence.
00:40:41Guest 2:Two years later, history was made again when Julian brought home a drawing of a turd.
00:40:46Guest 2:He called it Maxwell Silver Hammer.
00:40:49Guest 2:Is that true?
00:40:50Guest 2:Yeah, he brought home a turd.
00:40:52Guest 2:I didn't know that.
00:40:53Marc:Yeah.
00:40:53Marc:Learn something new every day.
00:40:55Guest 2:That's what I'm here for.
00:40:56Guest 2:Your eyes watering a little bit?
00:40:57Guest 2:Oh, God.
00:40:58Guest 2:You know, I think it's just a freaking pig virus.
00:41:01Guest 2:You want a Kleenex?
00:41:02Guest 2:Yeah, thanks.
00:41:03Marc:I got a big one.
00:41:04Guest 2:Oh, God.
00:41:07Marc:Wow, you might have it.
00:41:16Guest 2:Friends and family can take comfort in the fact that she outlived Julian and Lennon's career.
00:41:21Marc:There's a lot of comfort there.
00:41:25Guest 2:Betty James, Toymaker.
00:41:27Guest 2:Betty James, the woman who named the Slinky, died recently after tumbling down a flight of stairs into a heating grate.
00:41:36Guest 2:Apparently her momentum caused her body to bounce end over end from one step to the next, much to the delight of a girl and a boy.
00:41:45Marc:It's ironic.
00:41:47Marc:Yeah.
00:41:48Marc:As long as the kids were enjoying themselves.
00:41:50Guest 2:Oh, God, that's all that matters, isn't it?
00:41:52Guest 2:It is, I think.
00:41:52Guest 2:That kids enjoy themselves in this world?
00:41:55Guest 2:There's so much anger and so much sadness.
00:41:58Guest 2:Why can't children just enjoy themselves?
00:42:00Marc:She went out like she wanted, probably.
00:42:03Guest 2:Yeah.
00:42:03Guest 2:She lived life to the fullest.
00:42:05Guest 2:You got more on that one?
00:42:06Guest 2:Yeah.
00:42:06Guest 2:Her husband left her.
00:42:09Guest 2:Left and abandoned the whole family.
00:42:10Guest 2:Did you know that?
00:42:11Guest 1:No, it's awful.
00:42:12Guest 2:He invented the slinky, but...
00:42:13Guest 2:He was a ship engineer.
00:42:15Guest 2:He conceived of the toy in 1943 after an IUD popped out of Eleanor Roosevelt while she was dedicated the SS Wagina.
00:42:24Marc:I didn't know that.
00:42:27Guest 2:The force of her hitting the bottle on the SS Wagina, just boop!
00:42:32Guest 2:IUD fell out like that.
00:42:33Marc:And that guy said, light bulb, slinky.
00:42:36Guest 2:Yeah.
00:42:36Guest 2:Well, you know, that's American ingenuity.
00:42:39Guest 2:Yeah.
00:42:40Guest 2:I think that's what Obama's talking about.
00:42:43Marc:Yeah, something like that.
00:42:44Marc:Hope, ingenuity.
00:42:45Marc:Hope.
00:42:46Marc:Slinkies coming out of vaginas.
00:42:48Guest 2:Hope.
00:42:49Guest 2:Yeah.
00:42:50Guest 2:One could only hope for that.
00:42:51Guest 2:Hope is like a slinky.
00:42:52Guest 2:17 years later, the quite mad inventor abandoned the family to join a religious cult dedicated to worshipping those tiny little springs you find in the push-button pens.
00:43:03Guest 2:Daddy killed a bunch of people.
00:43:06Guest 2:Like Joe's Town.
00:43:08Guest 2:It was before TV, though, so nobody even paid attention.
00:43:11Guest 2:You know, although it was developed to be a toy, U.S.
00:43:14Guest 2:soldiers in Vietnam like to use the Slinky as an antenna, while the Viet Cong used the commercial jingle to torture John McCain into giving away state secrets.
00:43:25Guest 2:I don't remember that jingle.
00:43:29Guest 2:Slinky is slinky, it's fun for a girl, little boy.
00:43:30Guest 2:Okay, I'll speak.
00:43:31Marc:I'll talk.
00:43:33Marc:I get it now.
00:43:35Guest 2:Anyway, James requested one end of her elongated body be twisted and then suddenly released in order to demonstrate transverse wave motion.
00:43:46Guest 2:You know, the thing about death is that these people can't hear what you're saying about them anymore.
00:43:54Guest 2:That is a good thing, don't you think?
00:43:57Marc:Given the nature of this particular undertaking, I think it's a very good thing.
00:44:02Guest 2:How do you see yourself when you're dead and gone?
00:44:07Marc:Very alone, in a box, and eventually not looking so good.
00:44:12Guest 2:You don't believe in a hereafter?
00:44:14Guest 2:That's nonsense.
00:44:15Marc:I can barely deal with the present.
00:44:17Marc:The idea of having to do more anywhere after I die is very taxing to me.
00:44:23Guest 2:That would be a pain in the ass to die and then go off to hereafter and find out that you still got to compile a mailing list.
00:44:30Marc:Yeah, I mean, just what I went through yesterday with that.
00:44:33Guest 2:I don't know.
00:44:35Guest 2:Oh, God.
00:44:35Guest 2:Well, thanks for having me on, Mark.
00:44:37Guest 2:It's always good to see you.
00:44:39Guest 2:Hopefully I'll be back with more deaths.
00:44:41Guest 2:People keep dying.
00:44:42Guest 2:I don't think it's going to stop.
00:44:44Guest 2:This has been Morten Mortensen's with this week's remembrance saying, Who's chopping onions?
00:45:03Marc:That's our show.
00:45:04Marc:I'd like to thank Al Madrigal for being here.
00:45:06Marc:I love Al.
00:45:08Marc:Enjoy his work.
00:45:09Marc:Hope you dug him.
00:45:10Marc:And also Jim Earl, of course, for being Jim Earl.
00:45:13Marc:For everything comedy, go to punchwinemagazine.com.
00:45:16Marc:Check that out.
00:45:17Marc:A lot of good stuff if you're comedy fans.
00:45:19Marc:Also, wtfpod.com.
00:45:21Marc:Hit the justcoffee.coop link and get yourself a discount on coffee by putting WTF in the coupon box.
00:45:29Marc:I wouldn't get behind a product I didn't believe in.
00:45:31Marc:Do it.
00:45:32Marc:And if you want my CDs, you can go right here on iTunes.
00:45:35Marc:Look at my name.
00:45:36Marc:They'll bring them if you want it.
00:45:38Marc:It's up to you.
00:45:39Marc:And please, when and if you can, support the show.
00:45:43Marc:Go to WTFPod.com.
00:45:44Marc:There's a couple ways to make donations.
00:45:46Marc:Look, if you do a one-time donation that is $120 or more, I will send you the T-shirt as well.
00:45:55Marc:subscribers get it automatically.
00:45:57Marc:That's a $10 a month rolling donation.
00:46:00Marc:You get your t-shirt.
00:46:01Marc:But now I'm telling you people that donate one time more than $120, I will send you a shirt as well.
00:46:09Marc:How's that for incentive?
00:46:11Marc:But I certainly appreciate any donation you give and it's really starting to sort of take shape here and I'm very happy I'll be able to pay talent, pay my producer, maybe have a couple of shekels for myself so I can get some food and
00:46:25Marc:and perhaps feed my cats.
00:46:26Marc:You know how it goes.
00:46:28Marc:Oh, one other thing, folks.
00:46:29Marc:Due to the diligence of some of my listeners and some pretty basic research, a lot of you brought it to my attention that my father knows nothing.
00:46:38Marc:I knew that.
00:46:39Marc:In terms of the flu vaccination, apparently squalene is not in the new flu vaccination, and perhaps vitamin D loading will not cure the flu.
00:46:51Marc:I don't usually listen to him, but I guess I should make that clear.

Episode 18 - Al Madrigal / Mort Mortenson

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