Episode 164 - Bill Hader, Fred Armisen, Eric Drysdale, Chuck Klosterman, Sarah Vowell

Episode 164 • Released April 6, 2011 • Speakers detected

00:00:00Marc:Are we doing this?

00:00:08Marc:Really?

00:00:09Marc:Wait for it.

00:00:09Marc:Are we doing this?

00:00:10Marc:Wait for it.

00:00:12Marc:Pow!

00:00:12Marc:What the fuck?

00:00:14Marc:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?

00:00:16Marc:What's wrong with me?

00:00:18Marc:It's time for WTF.

00:00:19Marc:What the fuck?

00:00:21With Mark Maron.

00:00:25Guest:All right, let's do this, what the fuckers.

00:00:27Guest:Welcome to the bell house, Brooklyn, for live WTF round two.

00:00:34Marc:Thanks for coming out.

00:00:37Marc:I can't fucking believe you all came.

00:00:38Marc:I'm very excited.

00:00:39Marc:It's nice to see you.

00:00:41Marc:Don't quiet down so quickly.

00:00:42Marc:Let's keep the electricity going.

00:00:44Marc:Thank you.

00:00:45Marc:I just temper it a little bit like it's still exciting.

00:00:49Marc:Okay, good, good.

00:00:50Marc:That's good.

00:00:51Marc:That's really working for me.

00:00:51Marc:That's perfect.

00:00:53Marc:Keisha.

00:00:53Marc:Keisha, like, let's go through this.

00:00:56Marc:Cat cookies from Keisha.

00:00:57Marc:Thank you very much.

00:00:59Marc:Cat cookies.

00:01:00Marc:Yes.

00:01:01Marc:Whitman sampler.

00:01:04Marc:I didn't even know these fucking existed anymore.

00:01:07Marc:I thought this was like an airport buy.

00:01:09Marc:Like, fuck, I better get something.

00:01:12Marc:It's not that I don't appreciate it, but some people baked, asshole.

00:01:14Marc:Where are you?

00:01:17Marc:Where are you?

00:01:18Marc:Where is he?

00:01:18Marc:Right here.

00:01:19Marc:Thank you very much.

00:01:20Marc:But, you know, a little creativity would be... I mean, if I'm gonna shove shit in my face... Girl Scout cookies are a little dirty, so that's okay.

00:01:29Marc:Like, you gotta feel kind of weird eating these.

00:01:31Marc:Like, I didn't even buy them.

00:01:32Marc:Look at the girls.

00:01:33Marc:All right, the, um... What else do we get?

00:01:37Marc:Oh, this is from Chuck and Melissa, right?

00:01:40Marc:Yeah, coffee from Rhode Island.

00:01:41Marc:They drove from Providence?

00:01:43Marc:Well, that's fucking great.

00:01:47Marc:See, that's the other thing that always fucks me up.

00:01:49Marc:I was in Indiana, and some dude came up to me and said, we drove 10 hours from Oklahoma to see you before the show.

00:01:57Marc:I'm like, fuck you.

00:01:57Marc:I mean, what kind of expectations are those?

00:02:00Marc:Tell me after.

00:02:01Marc:Because now all I'm going to be thinking about is, like, I hope I don't disappoint the guy who drove 10 hours.

00:02:07Marc:But fortunately, it was okay, and he didn't go, fuck you, give me gas money.

00:02:11Marc:But they gave me a couple of comics that they both wrote and made and some coffee.

00:02:15Marc:That's very sweet.

00:02:16Marc:Thank you very much.

00:02:17Marc:I appreciate this.

00:02:19Marc:This, I don't even know what the fuck is going on here.

00:02:21Marc:What's your name, dude?

00:02:23Marc:Tim.

00:02:23Marc:All right, Tim.

00:02:24Marc:We got goofy teeth.

00:02:28Marc:Was this to, like, inspire improv games?

00:02:32Marc:We were, like, Hader and Arvison are so gonna wear those teeth.

00:02:35Yeah.

00:02:36Marc:Was that your intention, man?

00:02:39Marc:Bosco milk chocolate.

00:02:40Marc:I always thought they made the squirt kind that I ate when I was a kid.

00:02:43Marc:No, they make these too.

00:02:44Marc:Okay, man.

00:02:45Marc:Holy shit, what is this?

00:02:47Marc:And this was the beautiful tagline of all of it.

00:02:52Marc:Some guy in a very quiet way comes up to me and goes, I got you this because I think we have a lot of the same issues.

00:02:57Marc:This is the 12 steps and 12 traditions of Overeaters Anonymous.

00:03:04Marc:And I'm just trying to think what I can tell you, like, what's on my mind really quickly.

00:03:08Marc:I was on the subway, and I was challenged by a very small but passionate mariachi ensemble.

00:03:22Marc:But it's weird because I was trying to get into a zone.

00:03:24Marc:I'm listening to some music on my iPod.

00:03:27Marc:I'm listening to this Chapel Club song called Telluride, which is sort of like Brian Eno-y.

00:03:34Marc:A little gay for me, but I'm not ashamed.

00:03:37Marc:And I was really getting into it because I was in that zone, this sort of mystical.

00:03:41Marc:And then I went to Brian Eno.

00:03:43Guest:Then all of a sudden...

00:03:46Marc:And I'm sitting there, I'm like going, this is a real struggle for me because these people need attention.

00:03:50Marc:This is live music.

00:03:51Marc:Why am I checking out and having this sterile experience with a very consistent song on my iPad?

00:03:57Marc:I actually deconstructed all this in the 30 seconds that they were standing in front of me.

00:04:01Marc:And then I started to think like, well, this is really interesting.

00:04:03Marc:Why don't you take one of your earphones out and have that going in one and then create your own mix of world music while you're sitting there...

00:04:10Marc:On the train, a little Brian Eno faraway beach with... And it was quite wonderful.

00:04:18Marc:And I tipped them, and I thanked Brian inside.

00:04:22Marc:I don't know, though.

00:04:23Marc:And then I started to think about...

00:04:26Marc:Do you know that the mariachi, the conjunto music comes... It's not all Mexican.

00:04:30Marc:The reason that there are accordions and tubas in Mexico is because of the Germans in Mexico at some point in time.

00:04:35Marc:Did you know that?

00:04:36Marc:And then the cowboy hat, that's not Mexican either.

00:04:39Marc:I sat there without any historical fucking wisdom at all.

00:04:44Marc:I had no idea what I was witnessing in a timeline, but I was like, holy fuck, this is America.

00:04:51Marc:I had this romantic idea of what...

00:04:54Marc:But I'm going to talk to Sarah Val about that in a minute, but I'd like to read a couple of emails.

00:04:57Marc:We got a big show, and I don't want to talk too much because it's a live thing.

00:05:02Marc:But there have been a couple of things.

00:05:03Marc:Were you just wooing me not talking too much?

00:05:06Marc:See, that's how I read that.

00:05:07Marc:That's how my brain works.

00:05:08Marc:Like, the timing of that woo was inappropriate.

00:05:12Marc:I only want woos in context at the right moment.

00:05:16Marc:See, again, that was... That was very close, but you should have given it a beat.

00:05:22Okay.

00:05:22Marc:Like if I would have said it in the context at the right moment.

00:05:25Marc:Woo!

00:05:25Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:05:26Marc:That's exactly right.

00:05:29Marc:This just turned into a woo class.

00:05:31Marc:And generally I'm against wooing, but because it's such a sophisticated crowd, I think it's coming from a real intelligent place.

00:05:38Marc:A thoughtful woo as opposed to a vapid woo.

00:05:44Marc:Given all the food, there's a series of emails I got that I'd like to share with you.

00:05:49Marc:The WTF Challenge.

00:05:52Marc:Hey, Mark, starting this Friday, March 11th, I'm commencing the Mark Maron WTF Enough of This Shit Challenge.

00:05:58Marc:I'm going to use my Droid WTF app to do this thing.

00:06:01Marc:I will work out and listen to all of your previous shows every day beginning March 11th, no matter how long or short or how much I like the guest.

00:06:12Marc:I will listen and pump iron and work out during that time and lose weight.

00:06:17Marc:You can participate in this endeavor or not at all.

00:06:25Marc:But I thought I'd let you know what one what the fuck-a-not is up to.

00:06:29Marc:Eric, Iowa City.

00:06:33Marc:I might be in, I haven't talked about it yet.

00:06:36Marc:Now this is a little touching and I believe this person might be here.

00:06:40Marc:Dear Mark, I must share with you a total WTF moment I experienced yesterday.

00:06:44Marc:Now the reason I'm reading this, which is a little heavy, is that the next one I think ties it all up.

00:06:50Marc:Being from NYC, I'm pretty aware that people are generally rude most of the time, and normally it doesn't even phase me until last night.

00:06:56Marc:I am in the midst of training for my first half marathon.

00:06:59Marc:I've been feeling pretty good about myself lately.

00:07:01Marc:I've dropped a decent amount of weight, clothes are fitting better, and I'm pretty much living off a runner's high.

00:07:06Marc:So last night, I'm just leaving the gym and heading over to the entrance of the park at 59th Street.

00:07:11Marc:I'm decked out in my finest runner's gear, ready to get in a good eight miles.

00:07:16Marc:As I'm about to cross the street, I hear two dudes behind me say, quote,

00:07:20Marc:Wow, look at the gut on that girl.

00:07:24Marc:Fucking right, what the fuck, right?

00:07:26Marc:I quickly turn my head to see who these assholes were and one of them points to my stomach and then throws his hands up in the air and waves me off saying, now go run off that fat stomach.

00:07:37Marc:Fuck is right, you guys.

00:07:39Marc:Yeah, that's right.

00:07:41Marc:Well, I am normally not someone who would let this go without saying something back, but this caught me so off guard that I just kept on walking.

00:07:49Marc:So for the first 20 minutes of my run, I was pretty heated and also really, really upset.

00:07:54Marc:How dare anyone treat another human being with such disrespect?

00:07:57Marc:As I kept on running, I started refocusing my attention to what was playing in my ears, and that was you.

00:08:02Marc:Oh.

00:08:04Oh.

00:08:04Marc:It was your podcast from Ireland.

00:08:06Marc:Needless to say, it was exactly what I needed for the next hour and a half to get me through that run without breaking out into tears in the middle of Central Park.

00:08:12Marc:So thank you.

00:08:13Marc:The podcast is great, and so are you, a loyal fan.

00:08:22Marc:Now, that was from Maureen, and our hearts go out to you, but this is from another woman who's also on a WTF weight loss plan.

00:08:32Marc:So I just want to share the hope.

00:08:33Marc:This is about experience, strength, and hope here of people overcoming those obstacles.

00:08:39Marc:Hey, Marin.

00:08:41Marc:Says, WTF weight loss plan.

00:08:44Marc:Love your show.

00:08:45Marc:It has been a wonderful help to me.

00:08:46Marc:I recently moved to New York, and like most people who move here, I quickly grew depressed and spiteful.

00:08:55Marc:So I had to do something with all my angst of living in a horrible cutthroat city.

00:09:00Marc:After drinking a bunch...

00:09:02Marc:I decided it would be healthier to burn off the anger through exercise, and it might help me get laid, too.

00:09:09Marc:I've never been good at exercising.

00:09:10Marc:I always got bored and quit.

00:09:12Marc:Lately, I've taken to listening to your show while running.

00:09:14Marc:For some reason, your ranting and raving is the best motivator.

00:09:18Marc:You are my eye of the tiger.

00:09:23Marc:I am now running 10 miles at a time, which is way more than I ever attempted.

00:09:27Marc:I also get to see the city in a new way.

00:09:29Marc:I'm running over bridges, finally noticing New York City's magnificent skyline and the Statue of Liberty.

00:09:35Marc:Really?

00:09:35Marc:Just notice that, huh?

00:09:38Marc:I know, that gets lost if you're just sitting around going, fuck, goddammit, why the fuck do I live here?

00:09:47Marc:I'm greeting fellow joggers like humans do.

00:09:49Marc:You never get that kind of politeness on the subway.

00:09:52Marc:I've also lost weight and finally banged my old college crush.

00:10:00Marc:So thanks, you're changing lives and bodies.

00:10:04Marc:See, no crying.

00:10:05Marc:You can get fucked at the end of all your work.

00:10:09Marc:Is that important?

00:10:09Marc:Is that wrong?

00:10:12Marc:Mark, who you are, what you do.

00:10:17Marc:How could I not read that?

00:10:22Marc:You remind me of the NAM vets I used to serve with in 1973.

00:10:30Marc:More specifically, you're like the point man in combat, recon.

00:10:34Marc:You go solo to the outer edges, into the dark and unknown.

00:10:39Marc:When you return and report what you saw, what you heard, what you felt, no one wants to be that guy.

00:10:46Marc:Some of them don't return.

00:10:48Marc:Those who return help save our collective asses.

00:10:53Marc:Understand I never served in combat.

00:11:01Marc:My war was the cold one in Europe.

00:11:07Marc:And it was a fine brew.

00:11:09Marc:For five years, I made sure the Russians, our enemy, had minimum access to the abundance of beer and hashish swirling throughout western Germany.

00:11:20Marc:Mission was accomplished when the Berlin Wall finally fell.

00:11:24Marc:Saying what the fuck is a radical act.

00:11:26Marc:It is the first step on the journey to sanity.

00:11:29Marc:Regards, Mark.

00:11:37Marc:These are funny.

00:11:37Marc:I'm going to do one more.

00:11:38Marc:There's one line.

00:11:39Marc:Dear Mark Maron, concerning Sweden.

00:11:43Marc:I just thought this was beautiful.

00:11:45Marc:Dear Mark Maron, Sweden is a sad place.

00:11:49Marc:Stay away.

00:11:51Marc:Don't have your American eyes put roses where they don't belong.

00:12:01Marc:How fucking sweet and horrifying is that?

00:12:03Marc:My American eyes are constantly putting roses where they don't belong.

00:12:08Marc:But not on this.

00:12:10Marc:These roses belong on this first guest.

00:12:12Marc:How about that for a segue?

00:12:18Marc:She's a popular author of Take the Cannoli or The Partly Cloudy Patriot or The Assassination Vacation.

00:12:26Marc:And her newest soon-to-be-released book, Unfamiliar Fishes, Sarah Vowell, ladies and gentlemen.

00:12:38Hi.

00:12:38Hi, Sarah.

00:12:38Hi.

00:12:40Marc:I have a lot of cookies.

00:12:41Marc:Do you need anything?

00:12:42Guest:Let me clean house a little bit.

00:12:43Guest:I'm good.

00:12:44Guest:Is this olive oil?

00:12:45Marc:Yeah, it's olive oil from a special place.

00:12:47Guest:I like this so far.

00:12:48Guest:Your show is you reading your fan mail to your fans.

00:12:52Marc:Yeah.

00:12:54Marc:I want everyone to feel included.

00:12:56Marc:I want to inspire it.

00:12:58Marc:I didn't tell them about fighting with the fans because I did that last show.

00:13:00Marc:I'm not going to do that.

00:13:01Marc:It's a new mark, this show.

00:13:03Marc:Everything is good.

00:13:03Guest:So you have listeners in Sweden...

00:13:05Marc:Sure, I have listeners all over.

00:13:07Marc:I have panicky listeners in China.

00:13:09Marc:I have a few in Australia.

00:13:12Marc:I have some in Vietnam.

00:13:14Marc:I have them all.

00:13:14Marc:A lot of Canadians, for some reason, seem to be anxious and upset about things.

00:13:19Guest:Right, right.

00:13:20Marc:Where's the weirdest place you got mailed from?

00:13:21Guest:Um, prison.

00:13:28Guest:But I was thinking, like, the Swedish guy, I read a lot of Swedish crime novels.

00:13:33Guest:Really?

00:13:33Guest:Yeah.

00:13:34Guest:And, you know, like Henning Menkel, people like that.

00:13:38Guest:And one thing I love about the Swedish crime novels is...

00:13:41Guest:In the novels, a lot of crime happens because it has to for the novel to exist.

00:13:47Guest:But in a Swedish crime novel, every time there's a murder, the whole police department will flip out for a minute about what this means for Sweden.

00:13:56Guest:You know?

00:13:57Guest:Like, they'll all literally sit around drinking coffee and wonder if the democratic state has failed.

00:14:06Guest:And then, even though there's murder every couple of months, they're always solving them, but every time they're just so horrified.

00:14:15Guest:Whereas in an American crime novel, it's like, oh, another one.

00:14:20You know?

00:14:20Marc:Have you been to Sweden?

00:14:22Guest:Yeah, once.

00:14:23Marc:But is it just because it's a pretty intimate place?

00:14:26Marc:I find that when you go to smaller countries, there actually is a sort of national connection.

00:14:30Marc:Whereas in America, it's imposed on us and it's usually a little weird.

00:14:34Guest:Yeah.

00:14:35Guest:But there's regional diversity.

00:14:37Marc:Yes, that's true.

00:14:39Guest:To make up for it.

00:14:39Marc:And it's like I was reading this book.

00:14:41Marc:I actually read a good portion of this book that you gave me.

00:14:44Guest:He's pointing at my book in case you're listening to this on a listening device.

00:14:49Marc:It's Unfamiliar Fishes, and it's about Hawaii because I've been to Hawaii several times.

00:14:53Guest:Oh, yeah?

00:14:53Marc:Yeah.

00:14:54Guest:For what purpose?

00:14:56Marc:Why does anyone go to Hawaii?

00:14:58Guest:Well, I went to Hawaii to sit in archives and read old missionary letters.

00:15:02Yeah.

00:15:03Marc:That's so weird, that's exactly why I went.

00:15:06Guest:And people would be like, I would come home and they would be like, why don't you have a tan?

00:15:11Guest:Because I just spent three weeks in the Hawaii State Archives wearing a cardigan.

00:15:18Marc:But what was the inspiration for doing the book on Hawaii?

00:15:22Guest:Honestly, I'm kind of obsessed with the Spanish-American War era.

00:15:28Marc:Fuck me too.

00:15:30Guest:And you know that when we annexed Hawaii in 1898, it was this sort of summer orgy of imperialism.

00:15:39Guest:When we annexed Hawaii, we invaded Cuba, the Philippines, took over Guam, Puerto Rico.

00:15:45Guest:Like, all in a summer, we become a world power.

00:15:47Guest:Right.

00:15:48Guest:And then of all of those islands that we and we are, you know, taking over islands because we need them to build up our Navy and to have naval stations there.

00:15:56Guest:That's when we ended up with Pearl Harbor as well as Guantanamo.

00:16:00Guest:And and Hawaii is the only one of those islands that became a state.

00:16:04Guest:And so my book is the story of the decades leading up to that.

00:16:08Guest:And.

00:16:09Guest:The Americanization, starting when New England missionaries arrived in 1820, and then their children stuck around, started the sugar plantations, and their children are the ones who overthrow the Hawaiian monarchy and hand the islands over to the U.S.

00:16:26Marc:So you don't need to get the book.

00:16:28Guest:I'm sorry, I should have said spoiler alert.

00:16:33Marc:Hawaii becomes a state.

00:16:39LAUGHTER

00:16:41Marc:I'm so distracted.

00:16:43Guest:There's this envelope here with your name on it.

00:16:46Marc:It's from the guy who gave me teeth.

00:16:47Guest:I'm going to open it.

00:16:48Marc:Okay.

00:16:49Marc:Wait, it might be personal.

00:16:50Guest:It's a deer.

00:16:54Guest:It's a little fawn.

00:16:55Guest:I think you have a new nickname.

00:16:58Marc:Dear Mark, today I found myself for the third time in my life running around Brooklyn buying you candy.

00:17:08Marc:This has to stop.

00:17:11Marc:But I love your podcast.

00:17:12Marc:It would never poison your snacks on purpose.

00:17:14Marc:Seriously.

00:17:16Marc:Tim.

00:17:17Marc:That's so weird because a lot of times I share my cookies and everybody is always like, dude, who the fuck gave you these?

00:17:23Marc:And never do I assume that one of you guys would fuck with me.

00:17:27Guest:There's that word.

00:17:29Marc:Huh?

00:17:30Guest:There's that word.

00:17:31Guest:Which one?

00:17:32Guest:Fuck?

00:17:33Guest:Yeah, it's in the title of your show.

00:17:36Guest:But like prefaced with, you know, what, the, so it gives it like a spirit of inquiry.

00:17:42Marc:Yeah, no.

00:17:44Marc:It's a good use of the word fuck.

00:17:46Guest:There was a while in my books when I made it a goal to not use that word anymore, just as a little writing exercise.

00:17:53Guest:And that wasn't hard, but you know what is irreplaceable is fucked up.

00:17:58Guest:Like, there's no synonym for that.

00:18:00Guest:And at one point, I wanted to use it, but because of my rule, I couldn't.

00:18:04Guest:So instead, I used the word geopolitical.

00:18:07Yeah.

00:18:07Guest:It's really the closest thing.

00:18:14Marc:That is so geopolitical.

00:18:17Guest:Yeah.

00:18:18Marc:Like that?

00:18:19Guest:Yeah.

00:18:20Guest:It is.

00:18:21Guest:Can you think of a good replacement?

00:18:23Guest:There isn't one.

00:18:24Marc:No, I'll use geopolitical as long as I can.

00:18:26Guest:Okay.

00:18:27Marc:For like a day.

00:18:30Marc:But the thing that I liked about this book is when you go to Hawaii, it's definitely one of those places where you're like, what the fuck happened here?

00:18:37Marc:Why are there roosters here?

00:18:39Marc:Why is there only one kind of pig?

00:18:42Marc:You know?

00:18:43Marc:Yeah, but it's true and like I had bits and pieces like do you know anything about about the Germans in Mexico like that?

00:18:49Marc:I was talking about before because you know that the reason why the Mexicans have accordions and sussophones and the music has that the planet Frida Kahlo has a German sounding last name

00:18:59Marc:Maybe.

00:18:59Marc:I don't know.

00:19:00Marc:I just thought, like, I wish I had your knowledge about the Mexican history so I could fully understand the experience I was having on the subway an hour ago.

00:19:08Marc:But I don't.

00:19:08Marc:But in this book, you start off with a plate of food.

00:19:11Marc:Because when you go to Hawaii, you go to places to eat.

00:19:14Marc:And regional cuisine is, like, just horrendous on some level.

00:19:18Marc:I mean, like, they have that poi stuff, which is goop.

00:19:21Marc:And then they have macaroni, which is slop.

00:19:24Marc:And then they have, like, it's literally you could die.

00:19:29Marc:But in this, it sounded glorious.

00:19:32Guest:Hello, Hawaii.

00:19:33Guest:I miss you.

00:19:33Marc:No, I love Hawaii.

00:19:36Marc:I just don't understand how you maintain a good figure there.

00:19:39Guest:What he's saying is like in the beginning of the book, it's me sitting under a tree eating plate lunch and thinking about the Spanish-American War.

00:19:46Guest:Yeah.

00:19:47Guest:And the plate lunch, for those of you who have never had the pleasure, is two scoops of Japanese-style rice, a scoop of macaroni salad, and then some kind of meat or fish of the Asian or Polynesian variety.

00:19:59Guest:And to me, it's a kind of hopeful symbol of this multi-ethnic place where, you know, all of these different people ended up and peacefully...

00:20:09Guest:coexist and congeal but you know like because of the remember those missionaries I was talking about when their children started the sugar plantations they had to ship in all these different kinds of people from all over the world Japan, China, Portugal, Korea

00:20:26Guest:the Philippines, and at lunch times on the plantation, they would share each other's food.

00:20:31Guest:And so that's kind of a lovely little consequence of that.

00:20:35Guest:But really, the reason that the plantation owners shipped in so many different kinds of people was they thought if they couldn't talk to each other, if they didn't speak each other's language, they wouldn't be able to organize against their overlords.

00:20:48Guest:So there's a little bit of a nefarious origin there.

00:20:52Marc:See, what a wonderful sort of deep and multi-layered conversation you just had about that plate of food, and all I saw was shame.

00:21:02Marc:Like all I saw, too many starches.

00:21:04Marc:I like the fish.

00:21:05Marc:I can't eat all that mac and cheese.

00:21:07Marc:What the fuck do they think I am?

00:21:08Guest:I mean, like, it's sort of like there's the place where, you know, I went and bought my plate lunch at the beginning of this book.

00:21:15Guest:And you look at the menu and it looks like what America is supposed to be like.

00:21:18Guest:You know, there's mahi-mahi and hot dogs and Portuguese sausages.

00:21:23Guest:And it's all like, so it's a small world after all.

00:21:26Guest:But that only could happen because of all these different foreigners coming in and taking over and then giving the Hawaiians horrible diseases that killed most of them off.

00:21:40Guest:So I didn't want to get too optimistic.

00:21:43Guest:I know that's your tendency.

00:21:45Guest:You and your American roses on things.

00:21:50Marc:I do.

00:21:51Marc:I'm very optimistic.

00:21:52Marc:I have a lot of faith and hope, and I love Americans.

00:21:54Marc:I like them when they're insecure and fucked up more than I like them when they're confident and insecure.

00:21:59Guest:To me, one of the things I like writing about history is, to me, the most comic figures are always the self-important blowhard.

00:22:09Guest:Those are the ones...

00:22:12Marc:Let's hear it for the self-important blowhards.

00:22:14Marc:How about those t-shirts?

00:22:17Marc:Yeah.

00:22:17Marc:But not quite.

00:22:17Marc:You're not talking about my kind, because I don't have an agenda other than me.

00:22:21Guest:No, your self-importance is you undercut it with a lack of self-esteem.

00:22:29Guest:In like a lovable, endearing way.

00:22:36Marc:Look at the sad man yelling optimistically.

00:22:38Guest:Yeah.

00:22:38Guest:What I'm talking about, for instance... No, I can take that.

00:22:44Guest:There's this character that I write about.

00:22:46Guest:I write about the Americans who came to Hawaii, and one of them is this guy who's kind of this ne'er-do-well con man who at some point becomes a sort of Mormon, kind of on the fly, and he goes to Salt Lake, and he meets Brigham Young, and he talks Brigham Young into sending him to the Pacific, and...

00:23:06Guest:to convert people to Mormonism when really all this guy wants to do, his name is Walter Murray Gibson, all he wants to do is go to the Pacific and start his own Pacific empire from somewhere.

00:23:18Guest:So he figures the Mormons will like just, you know, pay for the trip.

00:23:22Guest:Yeah, exactly.

00:23:23Guest:yeah and so he um he ends up stopping in hawaii and falling in love with it as people do and so he ends up becoming the head of the mormons in hawaii for a while and they all move to lanai which is this you know tiny little island in the kind of in the shadow of maui and in this volcanic crater this sheep meadow

00:23:44Guest:he thinks he's going to start an empire and run the Pacific from this sheep meadow.

00:23:51Guest:Lanai, by the way, has never even been a county seat.

00:23:56Guest:And so his delusions of grandeur are so delicious to me.

00:24:00Guest:Eventually, the Mormons, he would do things like he put the Book of Mormon in a hollow rock and told the natives that if they tried to get it out, they would be struck by lightning.

00:24:11Guest:And when Salt Lake

00:24:12Guest:This is weird, even for Mormons.

00:24:14Guest:That's an old trick.

00:24:15Guest:And so when Salt Lake got wind of it, they sent some officials out there to excommunication.

00:24:23Guest:Yeah, with their rational angle on that story.

00:24:28Guest:But this guy's diaries are just so delightfully self-obsessed.

00:24:35Guest:And my audio book, that role is played by one of the people who is here.

00:24:40Guest:tonight.

00:24:41Guest:Do you have the script?

00:24:42Guest:Bill Hader.

00:24:43Guest:Bill Hader.

00:24:44Guest:So Bill is going to read this part from Walter Murray Gibson's diaries where he's imagining this new world that he's founding from this crater on Lanai.

00:25:07Guest:to fill this lovely crater with corn and wine and oil and babies and love and health and brotherly rejoicing and sisterly kisses and the memory of me forevermore.

00:25:26Marc:Bill Hader, ladies and gentlemen.

00:25:32Marc:Very well done.

00:25:32Marc:That's what we call a tease in the business.

00:25:37Marc:Well, Sarah, I want this to sell.

00:25:40Marc:I'm behind it.

00:25:41Guest:Thanks.

00:25:43Marc:Sarah Vallow, ladies and gentlemen.

00:25:53Marc:My next guest, and Bill's coming back.

00:25:55Marc:I just thought that would be the best way to use him at this point in the show.

00:25:59Guest:You should warn the people who are listening, though, that I'm still sitting here and my mic is still on.

00:26:06Marc:Okay, everybody listening.

00:26:10Marc:Sarah Vowell is still sitting here, and her mic is still on.

00:26:15Guest:I want to produce this show, apparently.

00:26:17Marc:This is all going in the show.

00:26:22Marc:Everybody stays on.

00:26:23Guest:What's that?

00:26:24Guest:This is edited, right?

00:26:26No.

00:26:27Oh.

00:26:28Marc:My next guest is the author of Fargo Rock City, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, A Low Culture Manifesto, Downtown Owl, and Killing Yourself to Live, Chuck Klosterman, ladies and gentlemen.

00:26:45Marc:I didn't stand up for Sarah.

00:26:46Marc:I'm standing up for both of you.

00:26:48Marc:I want to do this because I was rude before.

00:26:51Marc:Did you see Bill Hader just then?

00:26:53Marc:He just came out and fucking nailed that shit.

00:26:54Guest:I saw him go up.

00:26:55Guest:I did not, and I saw him come back.

00:26:57Marc:How are you doing?

00:26:58Guest:All right.

00:27:00Guest:You know, I was thinking just now, remember the last time I talked to you?

00:27:03Guest:It was the day after Michael Jackson had died.

00:27:06Guest:Oh, that's right, at the Break Room Live.

00:27:08Guest:So now I'm talking to you the day after David Broder has died.

00:27:12Marc:Right.

00:27:13Marc:And the nation is weeping.

00:27:15Guest:If this trajectory continues, the next time I talk to you, it's going to be after the death of a really bad dancer.

00:27:25Guest:It's going to be like Stephen Hawkins or Tom York or something.

00:27:28Guest:It's just going to get worse.

00:27:31Marc:Oh, shit.

00:27:32Marc:I'm not sure what they're groaning about.

00:27:34Marc:I'm not sure which part about that they're groaning about.

00:27:36Marc:Don't fucking talk about Tom York like that.

00:27:40Marc:It's unclear what the response was.

00:27:43Marc:Stephen who?

00:27:44Marc:Fucking don't talk about Tom York like that.

00:27:48Marc:So, man, it's good to see you.

00:27:50Marc:Good to see you as well.

00:27:51Marc:And I, you know, I do, like, you know, I don't stay abreast of, listen to me, I feel like it's a hack segue, but it's not.

00:27:59Marc:In the sense that, like, I get kind of consumed.

00:28:01Marc:I've decided that my entire show will be about me and my head and me talking to my friends, so I'm a little out of the loop.

00:28:07Marc:Like, I've only watched five minutes of Charlie Sheen.

00:28:10Marc:I know there's a problem in Wisconsin.

00:28:12Marc:And, um...

00:28:14Marc:And that's where it drops off.

00:28:15Marc:Apparently something happened in Egypt a couple weeks ago, and Gaddafi is yelling and wearing too much makeup.

00:28:20Guest:Yeah, actually, it's all together.

00:28:22Guest:Charlie Sheen has built a pyramid in Wisconsin.

00:28:27Guest:And that is why all the news is, and it's really confusing.

00:28:29Guest:Next stop, Hawaii.

00:28:31Marc:Yeah.

00:28:32Marc:No, but see, my feeling about it is, first of all, that in terms of the media piranha... What are you pointing at?

00:28:38Marc:No, I'm speaking in a grand gesture.

00:28:40Guest:Okay, okay, okay.

00:28:42Okay.

00:28:42Marc:I was using my hand to make a point because I wanted to feel large in my point.

00:28:49Marc:Usually when I do this, it means, I'm not sure where this is going, but I'm going to say it confidently.

00:28:54Guest:I totally get it.

00:28:56Guest:Initially, I thought maybe there's somebody here who's going to step out and emerge.

00:29:01Guest:Charlie Sheen is here, ladies and gentlemen.

00:29:04Marc:With his saber.

00:29:05Marc:I...

00:29:06Marc:No, but see, I've really not talked about it, even though it has an effect on me, because I see it as some sort of media feeding frenzy on a guy that's clearly, it's not going to end well for that guy.

00:29:14Marc:He's having some sort of... How do we know?

00:29:16Guest:How do we know?

00:29:16Guest:Here's my thing.

00:29:17Guest:Yeah.

00:29:18Guest:Initially, I think everyone thought he's on drugs all the time now.

00:29:22Guest:Right.

00:29:23Guest:Because his teeth are gone and he's just acting like an insane person.

00:29:26Guest:Right.

00:29:26Guest:But isn't the perception changing now to maybe he's not on drugs at all?

00:29:31Guest:Yeah.

00:29:32Guest:So if he's not on drugs at all, this is just sort of what his new personality is.

00:29:38Guest:And I think people are going to get tired of it, but what do you think he's going to die?

00:29:42Guest:No, who the fuck knows, dude?

00:29:44Guest:Well, someone.

00:29:45Guest:Well, I guess no one.

00:29:46Guest:That's like being the devil's advocate too far.

00:29:50Guest:It's like, well, I don't want to say that no one knows.

00:29:52Guest:I'm very nervous now of the Stephen Hawkins-Tom York fiasco.

00:29:58Guest:I'm afraid now it's like I'm going to be middle of the road all the way.

00:30:01Guest:I didn't think they'd fucking groan, man.

00:30:02Guest:It's like all these hipsters here.

00:30:05Guest:I thought they'd be like, ha-ha, anything's funny.

00:30:07Guest:People who can't fucking walk.

00:30:08Guest:Yeah, it's like...

00:30:09Guest:I thought I was playing to the crowd, and who's paying the price?

00:30:14Guest:Me, and to a degree, you.

00:30:15Marc:It's sort of Sarah.

00:30:18Marc:I have learned that groaning is just an active detachment from a joke.

00:30:23Marc:A lot of times, these type of crowds, and I mean you,

00:30:28Marc:And I said this the last show.

00:30:29Marc:If something is a little racy, they'll literally say, you know, I'm going to sit this one out.

00:30:34Guest:Yeah.

00:30:35Marc:And then if a groan happens, that means, like, that was funny, but I can't experience that.

00:30:40Marc:So it's like, oh!

00:30:44Marc:Because they want to be righteous.

00:30:45Marc:So that's what happens.

00:30:46Guest:Now...

00:30:48Guest:It's confusing, though.

00:30:49Guest:It's why you should never do a comedy show where people are also getting shot.

00:30:54Marc:Have you set up a scenario that I'm not clear on?

00:30:57Marc:Klosterman did the most amazing thing.

00:30:59Marc:He planted a guy with a gun at the show.

00:31:02Marc:It's like an Andy Kaufman thing.

00:31:04Marc:I come in here, I'm going to shoot the host.

00:31:05Marc:Yeah, try and sell that as they're carrying you away in cuffs.

00:31:08Marc:No, man, it's performance art.

00:31:10Marc:Those guys fell for the cause.

00:31:11Marc:They wouldn't have to cuff me.

00:31:13Guest:There was a warm-up guy at Altamont.

00:31:16Marc:and he really warmed him up that shit was fucking rocking no what what i was gonna say about charlie is that my my the best thing that can happen to him is somehow or another he breaks through and actually some of what he's prophesizing comes true that like other than that he can only crash and and and it turns out to be some sort of psychotic

00:31:38Marc:break from from just you know unmedicated bipolarity now what would be awesome is that if actually he spit something out and he turned out to be like a character from Nostradamus and prophesized something that really happens and everyone's like oh my god Sheen was right

00:31:53Guest:Well, okay, but how is it a prophecy just to go winning?

00:31:57Guest:I mean, that's not really a prediction.

00:31:59Guest:He's not predicting things.

00:32:01Guest:It's not like his NCAA tournament pool is being expressed or anything.

00:32:05Guest:It's like he's just sort of talking and saying, like, this dude, no, yes, maybe, ha-ha.

00:32:10Guest:And then everyone's like, that's amazing.

00:32:12Guest:It's like, look at these two women he's with, and now he's got no teeth.

00:32:16Marc:Now he's got no teeth and no women.

00:32:18Marc:But winning, I mean, if you've forgotten what country you live in, that's a powerful message.

00:32:21Guest:Well, I know.

00:32:22Guest:I mean, it's proving very true.

00:32:24Guest:I mean, if you would have said Charlie Sheen is going to do what he did, I doubt people would say, like, that's going to work.

00:32:31Guest:But, like, it totally has.

00:32:32Guest:I mean, he's obviously more famous than he's ever been, and he was on the most popular show in America a year ago, and now it's like, well, now he's really made it.

00:32:41Guest:It's bizarre.

00:32:43Guest:There's no... He's reinvented himself.

00:32:46Guest:Yeah.

00:32:46Guest:He's reinvented himself as the person who being on the most popular show in America was a failure compared to his insane everyday lifestyle.

00:32:58Guest:And it has totally worked.

00:33:00Guest:So you congratulate him.

00:33:01Guest:Well, I don't know if I'm congratulating him.

00:33:03Guest:I'm just saying you said it's going to end badly.

00:33:06Guest:I mean, people are going to lose interest.

00:33:07Guest:It's amazing how insane... That's horrible.

00:33:09Guest:That is horrible.

00:33:10Guest:Well, no, but the country is so nuts.

00:33:12Guest:I mean, okay, like nobody cared about him three weeks ago.

00:33:14Guest:Right.

00:33:15Guest:Everyone cared about him about 11 days ago.

00:33:17Guest:Yeah.

00:33:18Guest:And now I see all these people turning on him now.

00:33:20Guest:So everything has accelerated so fast that what should have been like a four-year experience...

00:33:27Guest:Basically happened since the last time I was in Los Angeles.

00:33:31Guest:In two weeks or whatever.

00:33:33Marc:I think you're overstating the longevity of a manic episode.

00:33:37Guest:Well, I'll tell you what, man.

00:33:38Guest:If he does go to rehab and he rejects all this...

00:33:43Guest:I don't often make this claim, but he's a sellout.

00:33:49Guest:I mean, like, Kiss is my favorite band.

00:33:51Guest:I don't call people sellouts very often, but if Charlie Sheen turns, that's a sellout move to me, man, because it seems like he is all the way in on this whatever it is.

00:34:03Guest:Yeah.

00:34:04Marc:Well, that was the most powerful thing of his whole statement.

00:34:06Marc:It's like, I just cured addiction just then.

00:34:09Yeah.

00:34:09Marc:And I'm sure every addict says to that to themselves every time they're not on drugs for five minutes.

00:34:16Marc:I kicked it.

00:34:18Marc:I just kicked it again.

00:34:19Marc:I kicked it one more time.

00:34:24Marc:Now I have to make a phone call.

00:34:29Marc:But how does this fill in, like, I mean, in terms of what you see on the media landscape, that the sort of, you know, the sort of competing elements are, you know, Libya, Wisconsin, and Charlie Sheen.

00:34:41Guest:Well, I mean, it's always kind of a fake question.

00:34:45Guest:criticism to make, though.

00:34:46Guest:I mean, has there ever been a time ever when the most important thing was also the most popular thing, except maybe 9-11?

00:34:53Guest:Well, no.

00:34:54Guest:That was the only time when the main thing people were talking about was the biggest news.

00:34:58Guest:But people are always like, oh, man, I can't believe we're talking about Charlie Sheen.

00:35:02Guest:Like, someone's getting raped in the Sudan.

00:35:04Guest:Well, of course, that's always how the world is.

00:35:06Guest:That's always how it's been.

00:35:08Guest:So I'm not...

00:35:10Guest:I'm not surprised that it gets more attention than Wisconsin or whatever.

00:35:15Marc:Well, do you think that Charlie could help Wisconsin if he went there with his winning attitude?

00:35:22Guest:Well, it's odd.

00:35:24Guest:It's like if Charlie Sheen decided to come out and, like, favor collective bargaining, there are a bunch of dudes in white hats who would be like, yeah, collective bargaining, winning, you know?

00:35:35Guest:And it's like, you know, it'd be going up to girls in bars saying, like, hey...

00:35:39Guest:I would love to bargain with a bunch of other workers on one issue, right?

00:35:44Guest:You know?

00:35:45Guest:So, I mean, I suppose he could help, but I don't know if we... You know, it's like whenever somebody does something outside of their wheelhouse, there's like a short-term effect and then a long-term problem.

00:35:56Marc:Maybe we should make him some sort of, like, general diplomat.

00:35:59Marc:Maybe he should go everywhere.

00:36:00Marc:He should go to Libya and meet with Gaddafi and just say... What's that?

00:36:05Marc:Is he really?

00:36:07Marc:What's he going to do there?

00:36:08Hang on.

00:36:09Marc:He's going to hang out with Sean Penn?

00:36:11Marc:That's not going to happen.

00:36:12Marc:Not without Blow involved.

00:36:15Marc:He's going to North Korea, too?

00:36:17Marc:Dude, I really didn't posit it as a real thing.

00:36:20Guest:Yeah.

00:36:20Marc:I mean, I was really making a suggestion for comedic effect.

00:36:24Marc:I didn't realize that we were such a deprived nation where you actually were like, this is a good idea Marin has.

00:36:30Guest:Yeah.

00:36:31Marc:Like Charlie Sheen could really solve most of the issues we have.

00:36:34Marc:I think we should send him to China to talk about this trade deficit.

00:36:38Guest:Yeah.

00:36:38Guest:The one upside would be a few years ago I lived in East Germany for four months and I would say that the way Charlie Sheen acts is how Germans think Americans are except he needs to be more fat.

00:36:50Yeah.

00:36:50Guest:But basically, their perception of what an American was like is exactly like that.

00:36:55Guest:A guy who sits around, talks about winning, says things like, I'm sick of pretending that my life is not incredible.

00:37:03Guest:It's like, quit oppressing me with this perception that I'm a normal dude who just happened to have this happen.

00:37:12Guest:It's like, I'm awesome, okay?

00:37:14Guest:That's how they think Americans are, except also very fat and unable to be drunk in public.

00:37:20Marc:But do you think that Americans and the world is sympathizing for Charlie Sheen as a victim?

00:37:29Marc:Do you think that his whole idea that like, you know, that show was constricting me, I'm free now, you know, and they fucked me, do you think they're buying that?

00:37:36Guest:I don't think that is entering into most of people's thinking about Charlie Sheen.

00:37:41Guest:I think they're like, this is happening.

00:37:45Guest:And I think that's as fun as far as it goes.

00:37:47Guest:Because when I was... Because I think, like, okay, well, we're... It is happening.

00:37:56Guest:Like, you were backstage for this.

00:37:57Guest:You know, and I have you said, like, what do you want to talk about?

00:37:59Guest:And I was like, well, I didn't really know, but you had mentioned how on this other podcast I had talked about sort of Charlie Sheen trying to get this new contract and what's going on in Wisconsin and the fact that, like, there's a...

00:38:09Guest:a mutiny among the Detroit Pistons and all these sort of labor issues.

00:38:14Guest:But, you know, in truth, no one's connecting them but me, and only because I'm on a podcast.

00:38:18Guest:If I wasn't on a podcast, I would just be sitting around going, well, yeah.

00:38:23Guest:For the people listening, is that all Nicorette gum?

00:38:25Guest:Yeah.

00:38:26Guest:There's like 40 pieces of Nicorette gum on this table.

00:38:30Guest:Why would you bring out that much?

00:38:32Guest:There's no way you're going to go through all of that tonight.

00:38:34Marc:Have you ever been really in love with something?

00:38:37Marc:No.

00:38:40Marc:And just knowing that it's there, you can literally, if I have a moment where I'm like, who am I?

00:38:45Marc:What am I doing?

00:38:47Marc:I have this to help me.

00:38:49Marc:No, I'm actually not chewing nicotine gum a lot now.

00:38:51Marc:You're just stacking it?

00:38:53Marc:Yeah.

00:38:55Guest:So you're like the opposite of a guy who's like, I don't do drugs that much.

00:38:58Guest:I do have six, eight balls in my bedroom.

00:39:00Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:39:01Guest:Because I just like to know it's there.

00:39:03Marc:Yeah, how great a feeling is that?

00:39:04Marc:That's as close to God as some people get.

00:39:07Marc:But...

00:39:09Marc:Thank you.

00:39:09Marc:I'll let the people enjoy that.

00:39:10Marc:That did.

00:39:11Marc:No, no, like, I found myself, like, disappointed with the patch, which I have on my arm.

00:39:16Marc:And I'm finding that before I go, you know, when I do shows, it's really nice to have a little more control over the amount of nicotine.

00:39:25Guest:Who cares?

00:39:26Guest:I mean, or does it taste, is it like, what gum is it comparable to?

00:39:29Guest:They try to make it taste good.

00:39:31Marc:Yeah, no, it tastes like sugar-coated gum that makes you nauseous.

00:39:35Huh.

00:39:35Guest:So it doesn't make you feel good.

00:39:37Marc:Well, I mean, it's a fine line when you like to be kind of buzzed on something between nauseous and good.

00:39:41Marc:True.

00:39:45Marc:So wait, now tell me about these cards before we move down the line.

00:39:48Marc:The Chuck Klosterman hypothetical 50 questions for the insane conversations.

00:39:54Guest:What's the idea here?

00:39:55Guest:Well, in some of my books, there were hypothetical questions.

00:39:58Guest:Yeah.

00:39:58Guest:So then Random House, which is not even my publisher, was like, we should put these into a deck, I guess, for people who buy everything or Stone College Kids.

00:40:07Guest:Right.

00:40:08Guest:And then I made like 25 more of them, 24 or 25.

00:40:12Guest:I guess 25 makes it 50, so that must have been the number.

00:40:15Guest:Yeah.

00:40:15Guest:And then we just sold them at places like, you know, real literary places like Urban Outfitters.

00:40:21Guest:How'd they do?

00:40:22Guest:How'd they do?

00:40:23Guest:I have no idea.

00:40:24Yeah.

00:40:24Marc:So like these are just ways to provoke conversation?

00:40:28Marc:Not really?

00:40:29Guest:I mean, yeah, I guess.

00:40:32Guest:I mean, if you want to have a certain kind of conversation.

00:40:35Guest:Right.

00:40:35Marc:So you're just saying this is some weird thing that you did for money because your publisher said try it.

00:40:39Guest:It was almost no money, though.

00:40:41Guest:Oh.

00:40:41Guest:I did it because I just thought... I feel like this is really weird.

00:40:44Guest:I was so... The person called me about it, and I was so flattered they fucking wanted me to do it.

00:40:49Guest:I just said yes.

00:40:51Guest:And then, like, it seemed so crazy.

00:40:53Guest:So then I did it, and then the first printing came out, and there were all these mistakes, and I was all upset because for some reason I had this weird idea in my head that people would somehow judge my career as a writer by topographical errors in cards sold to Urban Outfitters...

00:41:08Guest:So then I was a real jerk to them, and I acted real upset, and I freaked out.

00:41:13Guest:But then they corrected them all, and then they came back, and they go, you want to do more?

00:41:17Guest:And I'm like, I'm maybe.

00:41:19Guest:So I really... I mean, it was fun to do.

00:41:22Guest:Just any time... I mean, you must...

00:41:23Guest:you're in this position now.

00:41:25Guest:You must feel this way when now, you know, the career sort of exploded and now you all of a sudden have these weird opportunities to do things and you're so used to not being asked for things that when you get asked, you just think, I've got to say yes, right?

00:41:38Guest:Because maybe they'll never ask again.

00:41:40Guest:Honestly, that's a very weird feeling.

00:41:42Marc:The one example of that was a guy in Portland hounded me to do his podcast for months and I got there and he rented us a back room in a cigar shop and

00:41:53Marc:And he gave me a coffee maker and coffee.

00:41:56Marc:And we sat in this back room.

00:41:57Guest:He gave you a coffee maker?

00:41:58Marc:Yeah.

00:41:58Marc:He drove me around.

00:41:59Marc:As a gift?

00:42:00Guest:Yeah.

00:42:01Marc:Okay.

00:42:02Marc:This courting went on for weeks.

00:42:05Marc:But with podcasts, you never know, right?

00:42:07Marc:So I'm like, okay, man, I'll do it.

00:42:09Marc:So then we end up in the cigar shop where he spent a lot of money to rent this room and buy me a bunch of cigars.

00:42:15Marc:And about midway through him talking to me, I had a very strong instinctual realization that he doesn't have a podcast.

00:42:23Guest:Oh, you serious?

00:42:25Marc:That he just wanted to hang out for the day.

00:42:29Marc:Did he bring any kind of machine?

00:42:31Marc:He brought a machine, but he was like, I'm not sure you know what I'm going to do with this.

00:42:34Marc:I'm like, okay.

00:42:37Guest:See, he should have saved the coffee maker and just plugged a microphone into it.

00:42:42Guest:He'd be like, this is... I'm not falling for that twice.

00:42:46Marc:But...

00:42:47Marc:No, but it's a great coffee maker, and we're still in touch.

00:42:51Marc:I don't know what's going to happen.

00:42:55Marc:Chuck Klosterman, ladies and gentlemen.

00:42:58Marc:Let's move down.

00:43:00Marc:You can just move down one.

00:43:03Marc:And feel free to interrupt and engage with whoever comes up here.

00:43:08Marc:This next guy is actually somebody who I've known a long time, and not unlike many people in my life, I thought didn't like me for a long time.

00:43:16Marc:And I think we're okay.

00:43:18Marc:He was a writer for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

00:43:21Marc:He was one of the original writers for the Colbert Rapport.

00:43:23Marc:He also played, some of you old Lower East Side folks, with Tammy Faye Starlight and The Angels of Mercy.

00:43:29Marc:And now he's doing something.

00:43:31Marc:This is what he's doing.

00:43:33Marc:This is a Viewmaster, and this is his new project, The Man With Feet.

00:43:39Marc:Please welcome Eric Drysdale.

00:43:47Guest:Hi, everybody.

00:43:47Guest:Hi, sir.

00:43:48Guest:How are you, Eric?

00:43:49Guest:I'm good.

00:43:49Guest:Are we okay?

00:43:50Guest:We're good, me and you.

00:43:51Guest:Oh, my God.

00:43:52Guest:We're so good.

00:43:52Guest:Okay, good.

00:43:53Guest:Did you know that you didn't like me for a while?

00:43:55Guest:Well, you know what?

00:43:56Guest:You intimidated me.

00:43:57Guest:Yeah?

00:43:57Guest:Oh, really?

00:43:58Guest:Yeah, no, because you were like... Why?

00:44:02Guest:I think the first time I hosted... You went on... It was maybe the first time I was on a show with you, and you went on for like a half an hour.

00:44:09Guest:I was like, fuck this guy.

00:44:11Marc:Yeah.

00:44:11Guest:Yeah.

00:44:12Marc:So you didn't like me?

00:44:13Guest:No.

00:44:13Guest:Well...

00:44:15Guest:Well, I thought there was like, you know, this aura, you don't fuck with that guy.

00:44:19Guest:Oh, no.

00:44:20Marc:Oh, dude, it's so good to see you.

00:44:21Guest:It's good to see you.

00:44:22Marc:Now, can I ask you a couple questions?

00:44:24Guest:Yeah.

00:44:25Marc:Jon Stewart, good guy?

00:44:27Guest:Yeah.

00:44:27Marc:Okay.

00:44:32Marc:Stephen Colbert, I know, is a good guy.

00:44:33Guest:Yeah.

00:44:33Marc:Did you write that thing they did in Washington?

00:44:35Marc:Did you help them with that?

00:44:36Guest:I worked on that, yeah.

00:44:37Guest:It was like a fun thing to put on a big show, and it kind of got out of hand because of the Beck.

00:44:42Marc:The type of hatred I feel towards him instinctually, like as soon as I see him, it's so deep and so profound because I feel like I understand him so well I can't fucking shut the TV off.

00:44:55Marc:And I just want to see him flame out.

00:44:58Guest:You know, it has gotten to the point where I feel sadder for him than I am angry at him.

00:45:04Guest:Oh, don't ever do that.

00:45:06Guest:Chuck, what do you think of that?

00:45:06Guest:I'm not saying that I'm not angry at him.

00:45:08Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:45:09Guest:But it's like, he's wearing a robe.

00:45:13Guest:He's coming on in a robe now?

00:45:15Guest:He's come on in a robe a couple times.

00:45:17Marc:Like a royal robe?

00:45:18Marc:Like, I am the king.

00:45:19Guest:Like a monk's robe.

00:45:22Guest:To what end?

00:45:23No.

00:45:25Guest:What was he saying?

00:45:27Guest:I don't know.

00:45:28Guest:Just come along with me, my flock.

00:45:31Guest:Holy fuck.

00:45:32Marc:What do you make of him, Chuck?

00:45:34Marc:Do you think he is a danger or an entertainer or a clown?

00:45:37Marc:What is your instinct?

00:45:39Marc:I think he's dangerous and a clown and an entertainer.

00:45:42Guest:So he's the world's most dangerous clown.

00:45:45Guest:Yes.

00:45:45Guest:Yeah, like a ninja-type clown.

00:45:48Guest:Well, you know, I find him a little amusing, I guess.

00:45:53Guest:I don't find him that dangerous.

00:45:55Guest:Hitler was hilarious.

00:45:57Guest:See, I don't know about that.

00:45:58Marc:Was Hitler hilarious?

00:45:59Marc:I don't know.

00:45:59Marc:Look at that mustache.

00:46:00Guest:Have you seen the Ava Brown?

00:46:03Guest:What?

00:46:04Guest:Have you seen the Ava Brown?

00:46:05Guest:No.

00:46:06Guest:There's a Ava Brown in blackface.

00:46:09Guest:Like, no, I'm serious.

00:46:10Guest:There's this photo going around the internet.

00:46:12Guest:It's a real picture from... As Al Jolson.

00:46:15Guest:As Al Jolson, right.

00:46:17Marc:Like that makes it okay?

00:46:20Marc:She wasn't really doing a minstrel show.

00:46:21Marc:She was doing Al Jolson doing a minstrel show.

00:46:24Marc:It's like Billy Crystal doing Sammy Davis Jr.

00:46:27Marc:It was actually an anti-Semitic shtick she was doing, not an actually racist against black shtick.

00:46:34Marc:No, she's doing Jolson.

00:46:35Marc:She hates Jews.

00:46:36Marc:She loves black people.

00:46:42Marc:I'm just trying to be clear on what we're deconstructing here.

00:46:45Marc:So is that a good thing?

00:46:50Marc:You were saying she was wearing blackface, imitating Al Jolzin, who was doing blackface, imitating a black person, but she was also in drag as a man.

00:47:03Marc:I'm ready to pack it all back up.

00:47:06Marc:All right, so what?

00:47:08Guest:This is like being in a room with the internet.

00:47:22Guest:LOL.

00:47:27Marc:You want to do a Google search on something?

00:47:34Marc:Bosco.

00:47:38Guest:What?

00:47:40Guest:What'd he say?

00:47:45Guest:George Costanza's password.

00:47:45Guest:Oh, okay.

00:47:45Guest:Is that true?

00:47:47Guest:Yes.

00:47:48Guest:Okay, all right.

00:47:51Guest:Yeah, that was like the internet when it first started.

00:47:55Guest:George Costanza's password.

00:47:58Guest:Somebody made fun of me once for having an email address.

00:48:02Guest:For which one?

00:48:03Guest:Well, no, I was like the first guy to have an email address, and there was a bunch of guys sitting here, and I was in the back of a comedy club, I gave my email address to somebody who's now the head writer of Colbert, and all the other comedians were like, email address, nerds.

00:48:21Guest:It was like 92, 93.

00:48:23Marc:I just recently let go of my AOL address, and it was a tearful day.

00:48:28Marc:Nerd.

00:48:30Marc:I kept trying to make it like, no, it's classic.

00:48:32Marc:And people were like, no, you're an idiot.

00:48:36Marc:Just fucking change it.

00:48:37Marc:But no, it's just my name.

00:48:39Marc:Yeah, shut up.

00:48:40Marc:All right, so now you have this fascination.

00:48:43Marc:Like, this is really the project you've been working on for how many years?

00:48:47Marc:Not years.

00:48:48Marc:Be honest.

00:48:50Guest:No, no, no, not years.

00:48:50Marc:Okay.

00:48:51Marc:So where do I start?

00:48:53Marc:Do I put it in?

00:48:54Guest:Yeah, there are three reels.

00:48:55Guest:What we're looking at here is a Viewmaster.

00:48:58Guest:Yeah, you narrate.

00:49:00Guest:I know how to work it.

00:49:01Guest:I was seven.

00:49:01Guest:The popular toy.

00:49:04Guest:Inventored by the Sawyer's Company in 1939.

00:49:06Marc:Oh, it's just like when I was a kid.

00:49:08Guest:Exactly.

00:49:09Marc:All right, so now these are three girls.

00:49:11Marc:Oh, no, it's a guy.

00:49:12Marc:Two girls and a guy laughing with a lot of stuff going on.

00:49:15Marc:Tell me about the project while I look at it.

00:49:17Guest:Okay, so I have been shooting 3D.

00:49:20Marc:It's doing that thing that it fucking used to piss me off.

00:49:22Guest:Oh, good.

00:49:23Guest:No, you got to...

00:49:24Guest:You probably didn't do it right, but there you go.

00:49:27Guest:Oh, haha.

00:49:29Guest:So, yeah, I've been doing 3D photography for a long time.

00:49:33Marc:But this was like a hobby of yours, 3D photography.

00:49:35Marc:How'd that start?

00:49:37Guest:I was cleaning out my wife's grandmother's stuff, like cleaning out their apartment.

00:49:44Guest:Get me out of the kitchen.

00:49:46Guest:And there was a box and there was a 3D camera there.

00:49:51Guest:And I picked it up and started shooting with it.

00:49:53Guest:And...

00:49:54Guest:there there was a 3d camera that was available during the 1950s um that was you know if you were of enough means you could you could get and you would have uh 3d pictures 3d pictures of your family yeah so the and i have a ton of like uh i've since collected a bunch of uh weddings uh bar mitzvahs things like that and then way to capture and then you decided to do this yes and what is this

00:50:20Guest:That is a story.

00:50:22Guest:It's a spoof of the kind of TV-licensed and movie-licensed Viewmaster Reals of the 60s and 70s.

00:50:30Guest:I don't know why.

00:50:32Guest:Nobody asked me, so I don't have a good excuse because it's a terrible idea.

00:50:37Guest:If there's something that's harder to sell than a book or a piece of music, I've chosen it.

00:50:47Guest:LAUGHTER

00:50:48Guest:A Viewmaster series.

00:50:53Marc:Yeah.

00:50:54Marc:Now, did you pitch this to anybody, or is this self-financed?

00:50:57Guest:It's totally self-financed.

00:50:59Guest:Of course it is.

00:51:02Marc:You know, you're one step away from a fucking obsessive weirdo.

00:51:05Guest:No, it's totally like, if I didn't have a job, this would be outsider art.

00:51:10Guest:Yeah.

00:51:12Guest:It's like my Watts Towers.

00:51:17Marc:So is it on the market now?

00:51:18Guest:Yes, you can go to themanwithfeet.com.

00:51:22Guest:F-E-E-E-T.

00:51:23Guest:F-E-E-E-T.

00:51:24Guest:It stands for Footwear-Based Electronically Engineered Emulation Technology.

00:51:28Guest:It's a story of... It's sort of a spoof of The Six Million Dollar Man and things like that.

00:51:37Guest:But it's specifically a spoof of how shitty the translation was between the movie or the TV and then this, Viewmaster Reel, because they would hire these people.

00:51:49Guest:And by the way, people love this.

00:51:51Guest:LAUGHTER

00:51:52Guest:People who love these Viewmaster reels, they know that I just nailed it.

00:52:03Guest:Now, let me ask you something.

00:52:04Marc:Do you know all of those people?

00:52:08Guest:You know, well, I made all these, and yes, I'm finding out I did.

00:52:14Guest:Yes.

00:52:14Marc:There's got to be just a small crew of exciting middle-aged men going, we love this Eric kid.

00:52:21Guest:It's very much like that.

00:52:23Marc:Well, I wish you the best of luck with it.

00:52:25Marc:Thank you.

00:52:28Marc:Now, what was more exciting?

00:52:30Marc:I was reading the research on it, and you've won, like, what, five Emmys, a couple of Peabody's, and then the 3D, the must-see 3D award.

00:52:40Guest:Yes.

00:52:40Guest:Who awards that?

00:52:41Guest:The 3D online magazine, which is...

00:52:45Guest:They must love you.

00:52:46Guest:Listen, I got the 3D award.

00:52:49Guest:It was very exciting.

00:52:51Guest:Listen, I'm not... No, I'm not diminishing at all.

00:52:54Guest:I'm not either.

00:52:55Guest:I had the must-see 3D product of January of this year.

00:53:02Guest:Come on.

00:53:03Marc:Eric Drysdale, ladies and gentlemen.

00:53:07Marc:Go out and buy the Viewmaster.

00:53:09Marc:Let's all move down.

00:53:12Marc:Who did I say I was bringing out next?

00:53:14Marc:Oh, my fucking God.

00:53:16Marc:The first time I met this man who was backstage at a show, I had no idea who he was, and he was dressed as Saddam Hussein wearing a guitar.

00:53:23Marc:Please welcome Fred Armisen to this stage.

00:53:25Marc:Hi, buddy.

00:53:36Marc:I'm fine, man.

00:53:38Marc:Thanks.

00:53:38Marc:Look at what Eric made.

00:53:40Marc:It's a View Master.

00:53:41Marc:He made it?

00:53:42Marc:Well, he had it made with his own money.

00:53:47Guest:That's great, though.

00:53:47Guest:How do you mold the plastic?

00:53:51Guest:Oh, if you guys could only see.

00:53:55Marc:How's it going, man?

00:53:55Guest:It's going good.

00:53:56Guest:Thanks for having me.

00:53:58Marc:Can I just say this, and I mean it honestly, because I'm relatively honest, and I'm not kissing your ass, but when I watched the pilot episode of Portlandia, I fucking laughed out loud.

00:54:06Marc:Oh, great.

00:54:08Marc:Thanks.

00:54:10Marc:Thank you very much.

00:54:11Marc:I appreciate it.

00:54:11Marc:Thank you.

00:54:12Marc:And you possess what I can only call an insanely creepy commitment to character.

00:54:20Marc:But no, when you do characters, I'm amazed at how you inhabit them to the point where I'm like, who is Fred Armisen?

00:54:27Marc:It's an empty vessel.

00:54:28Guest:Is it?

00:54:29Guest:Seriously.

00:54:30Guest:Nothing inside?

00:54:33Guest:I don't know.

00:54:34Guest:That's hard for me to say because it's hard to think about what the real person is like in a way.

00:54:41Guest:Whenever I do characters, they're pretty much like me.

00:54:46Marc:Is it a relief, though?

00:54:47Marc:Do you think, oh, good, finally, definition?

00:54:50Guest:Yeah, there is a sense of that.

00:54:52Guest:There's a character that I do on Saturday Night Live that is partially...

00:54:58Guest:I'd say 20% based on you.

00:55:00Guest:No.

00:55:01Guest:Yeah, that's the truth.

00:55:02Guest:Now which one?

00:55:03Guest:Can you do it?

00:55:03Guest:It's this comedian named Nicholas Vane.

00:55:08Guest:And...

00:55:10Guest:It's based on a little bit David Cross, but the look, I wanted the look and the attitude, I'm serious, to be like you.

00:55:18Guest:And I was just, actually, I was watching you from back there for this show, and I was pleased.

00:55:26Guest:I was like, oh, no, that's totally what he's like.

00:55:31Guest:But now I need you to do some.

00:55:34Guest:Oh, all it is is just like, Nicholas Fain is kind of like, he'll come out with like a newspaper.

00:55:39Guest:Yeah.

00:55:39Guest:right and it's it's an army jacket yeah and kind of longer hair i think you used to have like longer hair yeah i did yeah and it's just like he comes out and is like hey what's going on how are you all right thought about you guys i read this article here did you guys see this

00:56:04Guest:Sounds like bullshit to me, a letter from the editor.

00:56:06Guest:You know, you can't... And I just... And then I just leave it open-ended, you know.

00:56:20Guest:That's exactly me.

00:56:23Guest:Now I feel flattered.

00:56:24Guest:But there's a little, yeah, a little David Cross in there, too.

00:56:27Marc:Which part would that be?

00:56:28Marc:The cranky, slightly condescending?

00:56:31Guest:It's actually the sort of the very, the loudest part of it.

00:56:36Guest:Like, no!

00:56:36Guest:Got high, you know.

00:56:41Guest:No!

00:56:42Guest:Do you often construct characters from people that you run into?

00:56:51Guest:Not often.

00:56:52Guest:Sometimes it's just people I see on TV.

00:56:55Guest:It's from all over the place.

00:56:57Guest:A lot of it's from bands and music and stuff too.

00:56:59Guest:I'll hear someone and I'll try to imagine what they're like.

00:57:03Guest:Seriously.

00:57:04Guest:Really?

00:57:04Guest:And then people like the Saddam Hussein thing was just, that was from photos.

00:57:08Guest:I saw these pictures of Saddam Hussein and he looked, it's when he was on trial and he looked thinner and he had a black jacket and a white shirt and a full beard and he looked so cool.

00:57:20Guest:He looked like an aging rock star.

00:57:23Guest:And all the photos were, he was very angry.

00:57:25Guest:He's really mad, but they were like.

00:57:29Guest:And it just seemed so like Pete Townsend or something or Joe Strummer or something.

00:57:38Guest:You know, I can honestly say you're the only one that saw that.

00:57:41Guest:Really?

00:57:45Guest:Yes.

00:57:46Guest:By the way, I've seen you do stand up a lot.

00:57:48Guest:I remember when I and I don't mean to interrupt you.

00:57:50Guest:It's OK.

00:57:50Guest:But when I first I moved to L.A.

00:57:53Guest:and I knew nothing about the comedy scene.

00:57:56Guest:The only thing I knew was Largo.

00:57:57Guest:It's just one club where like everyone was at.

00:57:59Guest:It was like this cool place and it was really small.

00:58:03Guest:Yeah.

00:58:03Guest:And I would go there alone and just stand at the back, and I'd see, like, Paul F. Tompkins and Karen Kilgareff.

00:58:08Guest:Zach.

00:58:09Guest:And Rice Club.

00:58:10Guest:Yeah, Zach.

00:58:11Guest:Dana Gould.

00:58:12Guest:Nick Swartzen.

00:58:13Guest:And then you.

00:58:13Guest:I remember the first time I saw you, you got into a serious fight with someone at the end.

00:58:20Marc:How come everyone was there that night?

00:58:24Marc:I can't even tell you who was there that night.

00:58:26Marc:I had no idea you were there.

00:58:27Marc:The guy was in the wrong, though.

00:58:29Marc:No, I know he was, but nonetheless, it's like, I spent 20 years doing fucking comedy in shitholes, and then I'm at a dinner club that's supposedly the alt-comedy mecca, and some guy tackles me?

00:58:40Marc:I mean, these guys, most of them know that story, but you were there, too.

00:58:44Marc:Do you know who else was there?

00:58:45Marc:Vincent D'Onofrio, the actor.

00:58:48Marc:Mick Jones, the guitar player from Foreigner.

00:58:54Marc:And you.

00:58:55Marc:I met Mick Jones.

00:58:57Marc:And I think Foley was there.

00:58:58Marc:Paula Tompkins was fucking hosting.

00:59:01Marc:That place was... Now I meet people and they're like, I was there that night.

00:59:04Marc:You know what I mean?

00:59:06Marc:It's like the Studs Terkel story about Babe Ruth's home run in...

00:59:09Marc:In the Chicago stadium.

00:59:12Marc:The number of people that were there saying they saw it, that place should have held a million people.

00:59:16Marc:I promise you I was there.

00:59:20Marc:I promise you.

00:59:21Marc:I'm just so glad I didn't run.

00:59:23Marc:That was the weirdest thing about that.

00:59:25Marc:Have you been in a fight before?

00:59:27Marc:Never.

00:59:27Marc:Ever.

00:59:28Marc:I hope to never get into one.

00:59:30Marc:I'm not a pussy, but I'm right on the pussy cusp.

00:59:34Marc:Oh, I'm a pussy.

00:59:35Marc:You are?

00:59:36Marc:I kind of knew that.

00:59:37Marc:I would never fight.

00:59:38Marc:I can tell that about you.

00:59:41Marc:But in a good way, you're a very talented pussy.

00:59:42Marc:You're a gifted pussy.

00:59:44Marc:I would run.

00:59:44Marc:You would run?

00:59:45Marc:I'd run right away.

00:59:46Marc:Well, that was the worst thing.

00:59:46Marc:I was the last act, and this shit got out of hand.

00:59:49Marc:And he said, I'm going to take you out, bitch.

00:59:51Marc:And the next thing I know, he's on stage, but I realize that he's not a guy who fights, because he just looked all wild-eyed.

00:59:56Marc:And I registered the look as like, I'm not sure why I'm up here.

01:00:02Guest:Awful.

01:00:03Marc:Right, so I'm like, I'm the last guy, and I'm on stage.

01:00:06Marc:If I run, that's going to be a horrendous way to close this show.

01:00:10Marc:So I was like, I'm going to have to take the hit.

01:00:12Marc:And I guess when that happened, you must have been one of the everyone who ran out of the club.

01:00:16Guest:It was so fast.

01:00:17Guest:I know.

01:00:18Guest:It was over in a second.

01:00:20Marc:I was amazed at how alone I was.

01:00:22Marc:In Hollywood, when I was confronted physically and only three people were left and one of them was Vincent D'Onofrio going, you all right?

01:00:29Marc:And all I could think was like, am I in a movie?

01:00:35Guest:The guy was so in the wrong, though.

01:00:36Marc:I think you mentioned suicide and he was like, what?

01:00:39Marc:He just got bent in.

01:00:41Marc:Yeah, he snapped.

01:00:42Marc:And of course, I didn't handle it well.

01:00:44Marc:I can't believe most of you probably heard that story.

01:00:46Marc:I did this joke that had suicide in it.

01:00:48Marc:like it wasn't about suicide but there was the possibility of suicide within the narrative yeah it was just he just wanted attention right no then he goes don't talk about suicide yeah it was and i go and of course in that moment i was sent to him i said why did you just lose somebody oh god

01:01:10Marc:And he goes, just don't talk about it.

01:01:13Marc:And I go, what are you going to do?

01:01:14Marc:He goes, well, I'll take you out, bitch.

01:01:16Marc:And then I said, why do you demand so much attention from a room full of people you don't know?

01:01:20Marc:Why don't you shut your fucking mouth?

01:01:22Marc:You still going to take me out, bitch?

01:01:24Marc:And he did.

01:01:24Marc:He took me out.

01:01:27Marc:But what was his night like?

01:01:29Guest:If he was going through so much trauma, why did he... He apologized after.

01:01:32Guest:That was the worst part of it.

01:01:33Marc:It can't even be a good story.

01:01:35Marc:Because everyone ran outside, except for the two people that stepped in.

01:01:38Marc:And then I went outside, and then that dude came back around in his car, and everyone was like, go back inside, Maren.

01:01:43Marc:I'm like, no, no, there's enough of you out here.

01:01:45Marc:I think I can handle this.

01:01:47Marc:And I'm like, yo, let him through, let him through.

01:01:49Marc:You're like fucking, ugh, awful.

01:01:52Marc:And he comes up to me, he goes, I'm sorry, man, but you know, my brother talked about killing himself.

01:01:57Marc:And I'm like, he didn't even do it.

01:01:59Marc:Oh, did he not do it?

01:02:02Marc:No, it was like somebody, it was so unsatisfying.

01:02:05Marc:And I'm like, why the fuck?

01:02:06Marc:We need a body.

01:02:07Guest:Yeah, yeah.

01:02:09Marc:There's got to be a corpse.

01:02:10Marc:And he apologized.

01:02:11Marc:He said, I'm not usually like that.

01:02:12Marc:Then we ended up shaking hands.

01:02:13Marc:And it was such an unsatisfying ending for everyone involved.

01:02:17Marc:Yeah.

01:02:17Marc:That it ended friendly and there was no real meat to it.

01:02:21Marc:Yeah.

01:02:22Marc:I'm sorry.

01:02:22Marc:The character I love that you fucking do.

01:02:24Marc:The one thing that, like, it actually moved me to, like, I took it personally at first because it was so fucking genius.

01:02:31Marc:I'm saying fuck a lot.

01:02:31Marc:I'm sorry, Sarah.

01:02:32Marc:Are you tired?

01:02:34Guest:There are ladies present.

01:02:35Marc:I apologize.

01:02:36I apologize.

01:02:38Marc:Do you remember that dude you did, the townie guy who does the one-man show?

01:02:42Marc:Oh, yeah.

01:02:43Guest:What was that?

01:02:44Guest:Because I saw it once, and I was like, is he making fun of just people who are trying to express himself?

01:02:49Guest:No, it's just like, it's those people.

01:02:50Guest:You know, do you guys ever have to go to a one-man show?

01:02:54No.

01:02:54Guest:And it puts you through so much anxiety to sit in that audience.

01:03:01Guest:Because there's always a very serious moment.

01:03:03Guest:They're always so cute and quaint.

01:03:07Guest:And I've been to a few, and it's always the sound of how they walk out onto the stage.

01:03:12Guest:You can hear every step.

01:03:14Guest:I don't know how to do this.

01:03:16Guest:You can do it.

01:03:16Guest:It'll pick it up.

01:03:17It's just that, like...

01:03:26Marc:Open the show.

01:03:28Guest:You know, when they just go into their first thing.

01:03:31Marc:So it's just always... But you had the delivery so well, it was sort of like... Do you remember what it was?

01:03:34Guest:Oh, because there's never any mics in those things.

01:03:36Guest:So it's always kind of like... They're going to call you a faggot?

01:03:56Guest:I don't even know what right wing means.

01:04:00Guest:That kind of thing.

01:04:01Guest:That like, just a lot of projecting and so serious.

01:04:05Marc:But do you do like some whole riff on like, you know, I'm from New Jersey.

01:04:08Marc:Or am I making this up?

01:04:09Guest:Oh, no.

01:04:10Marc:Bruce Springsteen was a god to me.

01:04:12Guest:Yeah, I mean, you know, whatever.

01:04:14Marc:It was so fucking good because you had all the moves so right.

01:04:17Marc:It was so embarrassing, but it was so good.

01:04:19Guest:But you've never done that.

01:04:20Guest:That's never been your thing.

01:04:21Marc:No, but like a one-man show is this weird specific thing that, you know, even if you're a comic, because I've done them, like all of a sudden you're doing like, no, we're doing theater now.

01:04:29Marc:So there's that weird consciousness of that.

01:04:31Marc:I have to have a narrative.

01:04:32Marc:I don't want to get off the narrative.

01:04:34Marc:So there's part of you that's sort of like, I'm walking over here now.

01:04:37Guest:I'm going to do this.

01:04:38Marc:So it wasn't that I took it personally, but I actually felt sorry for the guy you were playing.

01:04:44Yeah.

01:04:44Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:04:46Guest:I'm like, the guy Fred made up is breaking my heart.

01:04:49Guest:Yeah, the one show that was based on was a guy I saw who, I can't remember his name, who did a show about teaching in the inner city.

01:04:56Guest:Yeah.

01:04:57Guest:And it was just very like, the ending was something about a girl whose father had died or something like that.

01:05:03Guest:And it was just like, you're learning.

01:05:06Yeah.

01:05:07Guest:And walk off the stage.

01:05:16Guest:I feel like I'm not the only person who feels anxious in those audiences.

01:05:20Guest:Like, am I wrong?

01:05:21Guest:I might be wrong about that.

01:05:22Guest:No, no, of course not.

01:05:23Guest:But I would say that they're just so serious that it's like you feel afraid to breathe.

01:05:28Guest:You know?

01:05:30Guest:I literally don't want to breathe, you know?

01:05:33Guest:But nothing against them.

01:05:34Guest:People are just trying to do their thing.

01:05:36Marc:Last time I was in town, we were going to talk, but I was in the middle of some chaos with a woman.

01:05:40Marc:And I felt so bad because we had set up an interview.

01:05:43Marc:And I'm sending you emails.

01:05:44Marc:I'm like, I'm having a lot of trouble with this girl I'm dating.

01:05:47Marc:And I haven't slept.

01:05:48Marc:And I added, you'd understand, right?

01:05:50Marc:And you're like, it's cool.

01:05:53Marc:Don't worry about it.

01:05:53Marc:Paul McCartney is here.

01:05:57Marc:Yeah.

01:05:58Marc:Everyone was excited about that.

01:06:00Guest:What happened with you and Paul McCartney?

01:06:03Guest:Meeting him, first of all, I'm going to assume there's some Beatles fans in here, right?

01:06:10Guest:Is it still cool to like the Beatles?

01:06:12Guest:It is, right?

01:06:12Guest:Oh, I think that'll never go away.

01:06:14Guest:That'll never go away.

01:06:15Marc:I think that'll always stay cool.

01:06:16Marc:I don't love seeing him that much.

01:06:18Guest:How could you not?

01:06:19Marc:Well, I like him, and he's usually pretty cool, but I'm like, there's some part of Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney as they age where it's like, it's like if you keep looking, trying to look like you did when you were 30 or 20, it makes me sad.

01:06:34Marc:But then again, if they were really old, I'd be like, oh, don't go out.

01:06:38Marc:I know, it's hard.

01:06:39Marc:So, no, but I like Cena.

01:06:41Marc:I'm sorry.

01:06:41Marc:Go ahead.

01:06:42Guest:But, yeah, on the outside, I just acted really cool.

01:06:45Guest:I didn't ask any Beatle questions or anything.

01:06:47Guest:But on the inside, I just flipped out.

01:06:49Guest:And there was even one moment.

01:06:51Guest:He really liked to joke around and hang out with everybody.

01:06:55Guest:And this is a name-droppy story, though, isn't it?

01:06:57Guest:You don't mind, right?

01:06:59Guest:Fuck him, Paul McCartney, dude.

01:07:01Guest:None of us have met him.

01:07:03Guest:There was one point where he was talking to someone, and he saw me.

01:07:07Guest:And he said, hold on a minute.

01:07:08Guest:I'm going to go say hello to Fred.

01:07:09Guest:And he said my name.

01:07:12Guest:But the same thing, just I played it cool, like, hey.

01:07:15Guest:But even looking into his eyes, I'm like, I'm looking into his eyes.

01:07:22Guest:But it's weird, though.

01:07:26Guest:He just liked hanging out with everybody.

01:07:29Guest:He was really cool.

01:07:30Guest:But I'm sorry for what you went through.

01:07:31Guest:That must have been hard for you, you know.

01:07:34Marc:Well, no, but, you know, you seem to have a good time.

01:07:37Guest:Yeah.

01:07:38Marc:No, I mean, you know, it was hard.

01:07:39Marc:You know how that goes.

01:07:41Marc:I mean, you've been through, you know, your breakups were public in a way that mine, I just make mine public.

01:07:46Marc:You didn't see that.

01:07:49Marc:Yeah.

01:07:49Marc:Well, how do you handle that shit?

01:07:50Marc:Because you got sort of dragged through it.

01:07:53Guest:You know, it is kind of a drag because it's your personal life.

01:07:57Guest:Like, you know, you never think of yourself as someone who's on TV.

01:08:00Guest:You're just like, you have this life, and then when that kind of thing happens...

01:08:03Guest:Yeah, it's nothing but a drag.

01:08:06Marc:But do you ever get to the point where it's like, that's not what happened!

01:08:10Guest:I just try to ignore as much as I can.

01:08:13Guest:And this is another thing, though.

01:08:17Guest:I also understand that it's those people's job to have magazines and sites and stuff, so it's like...

01:08:22Guest:That's okay.

01:08:23Guest:I can't be mad at them about it.

01:08:25Guest:That's what they do, and that's part of it all.

01:08:29Marc:That's just the way you think about it?

01:08:31Marc:You don't have a mini Fred going, dude, dude, just calm down.

01:08:36Marc:Just calm down.

01:08:38Guest:No, my thought is that everyone's just trying to keep their jobs.

01:08:41Guest:So whoever it is who's writing stuff is just like, they're just trying to keep their jobs, you know?

01:08:46Marc:That's fucking ridiculous.

01:08:47Guest:And also, it's not ridiculous.

01:08:49Guest:It's not, because the other thing is, it all moves on.

01:08:51Guest:A week later, people don't care.

01:08:54Guest:People don't care.

01:08:55Marc:I still care.

01:08:57Guest:You do?

01:08:59Guest:It just moves on, and then it's all fine, you know?

01:09:02Guest:And you're doing good?

01:09:04Guest:I'm doing great.

01:09:04Guest:I'm happier than ever.

01:09:06Guest:You picked up for another season?

01:09:07Guest:Yeah, we're going to do some more this summer.

01:09:08Guest:Thank you.

01:09:09Guest:Yeah.

01:09:10Guest:Yeah.

01:09:11Guest:Well, people love it.

01:09:11Marc:They love you.

01:09:12Marc:Fred Armisen, ladies and gentlemen.

01:09:14Marc:Thanks, you guys.

01:09:15Marc:Just move down one.

01:09:17Marc:Just move down.

01:09:18Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:09:19Marc:What do you want?

01:09:21Marc:There's a red velvet Twinkie that's fucking nuts.

01:09:24Marc:I don't know what that is.

01:09:25Marc:Taste it and tell me.

01:09:27Marc:Tell me what it is.

01:09:28Marc:Right now, eat it.

01:09:29Peanut butter.

01:09:30Marc:It is peanut butter.

01:09:32Marc:How fucking good is that?

01:09:34Marc:Eric, you want anything?

01:09:35Marc:You guys okay down at the end?

01:09:36Marc:You want a red velvet Twinkie?

01:09:39Marc:I do.

01:09:40Marc:Closterman wants a red velvet Twinkie.

01:09:43Marc:Split it with Sarah Val.

01:09:45Guest:Jim got them from it.

01:09:46Guest:I'm allergic to wheat.

01:09:49Guest:Fun fact.

01:09:55Guest:You want some chocolate?

01:09:57Guest:Bosco?

01:09:59Guest:Okay.

01:10:01Guest:Let's bring out another SNL wonder boy, Bill Hader, ladies and gentlemen.

01:10:14Marc:That's Fred and Eric.

01:10:15Marc:You know everybody.

01:10:17Guest:Nice to meet you, man.

01:10:18Guest:How are you?

01:10:18Guest:I like your stuff, man.

01:10:18Guest:You're great.

01:10:19Guest:You're so funny on the show, man.

01:10:20Guest:You're so funny on the show.

01:10:22Guest:Oh, my God.

01:10:23Guest:You're funny.

01:10:24Guest:Thank you.

01:10:25Guest:You're so funny.

01:10:27Marc:What's up, man?

01:10:28Marc:Hey, how are you?

01:10:28Marc:You fucking look good.

01:10:30Guest:Oh, thanks.

01:10:31Guest:Hey, thanks.

01:10:33Guest:Doesn't he?

01:10:35Guest:No, he looks all clean and fucking shaved and focused and shit.

01:10:38Guest:Knows what's funny about himself.

01:10:40Guest:That's awesome.

01:10:46Marc:What?

01:10:46Marc:That's funny.

01:10:47Marc:It's true.

01:10:47Marc:I know, but the one thing I always envy about fellas like you with the big funny jobs is

01:10:56Marc:is that you fucking know exactly what's funny about you, and you know exactly what's funny about you.

01:11:00Marc:I've got to bumble through a bunch of bullshit and share way too much of my life in order to get any fucking attention whatsoever.

01:11:07Marc:But you guys just, like, cut through glass with this shit.

01:11:10Marc:Like, bam, one look.

01:11:11Marc:Hysterical.

01:11:12Marc:Me, it's like, I don't know.

01:11:14Marc:All right.

01:11:14Marc:All right, okay, I'm fucked up.

01:11:16Marc:You know?

01:11:21Marc:How does that fucking happen, hater?

01:11:23Marc:I don't know.

01:11:24Guest:All right.

01:11:27Marc:The first time I met you was where?

01:11:28Guest:In Vancouver.

01:11:30Marc:Oh, yeah.

01:11:31Marc:At the Sutton Place.

01:11:32Marc:Oh, yeah.

01:11:32Guest:I was shooting a movie.

01:11:33Guest:That's right.

01:11:33Guest:That was one of those moments.

01:11:34Guest:I went into the gym.

01:11:36Guest:At the hotel.

01:11:37Guest:At the hotel.

01:11:38Guest:I had never been in a gym before, but I saw myself in the dailies, and I was like, oh, shit.

01:11:44Guest:I am fucking... I look like shit.

01:11:47Guest:Shit.

01:11:47Guest:I just look terrible.

01:11:50Guest:And, uh, and Laura Michaels had produced a movie and he was like, Bill, my God, what the, um, and, uh, so I went into the gym and you were in there working out and I was like, Hey man, I'm, I'm a fan of yours.

01:12:02Guest:And you're like, Oh, thanks man.

01:12:05Guest:You're, like, doing dips and stuff.

01:12:07Guest:And I don't know if you ever noticed, I was trying to mimic what you were doing.

01:12:10Guest:Like, you would do an exercise and leave, and then I would try to do the exact same exercise.

01:12:14Guest:I was like, yeah.

01:12:16Guest:No, I'm just here for a couple of months.

01:12:19Marc:I'm sure Ollie was thinking, like, you're up here shooting a fucking movie.

01:12:23Marc:Good for him.

01:12:24Marc:I think you said that to me.

01:12:26Guest:Like, oh, you're shooting a fucking movie, huh?

01:12:28Guest:And I was like, fucking amen.

01:12:29Guest:That's what I love about you, dawg.

01:12:31Guest:you don't hold back man i love it did you did you continue at the gym uh yeah i did i tried to yeah yeah and i did all right but all right but there was other the guys uh oh uh well uh uh ryan reynolds was in there and he's like funny guy insanely yeah fit and i was just like it

01:12:55Guest:I'm going to own it.

01:12:56Guest:Danny McBride was in the movie, too, and Danny was like, just own it, dude.

01:13:01Guest:He's like, look at my ass.

01:13:02Guest:I don't give a fuck.

01:13:03Guest:I'm starring in movies and shit.

01:13:05Guest:And I was like, yeah, you're right.

01:13:07Guest:You are starring in movies.

01:13:08Guest:I guess I should fuck.

01:13:10Guest:Who cares?

01:13:11Guest:He's really like that, huh?

01:13:12Guest:Yeah.

01:13:12Guest:Oh, he's the best, man.

01:13:14Guest:He's the funniest guy.

01:13:17Guest:He did the most amazing thing.

01:13:18Guest:Akiva Schaffer and Andy Samberg, we were out there doing the movie, and one night we had a screening for this movie called Whoopi Boys, which was this movie with... Oh, man, it's the worst movie.

01:13:31Guest:Paul Rodriguez, all these things.

01:13:33Guest:Anyway, so we had this screening of it because we thought it was ironic and funny to do the screening of this movie, and we were in a limo.

01:13:39Guest:And afterwards, we were all getting into the limo, and...

01:13:44Guest:Danny McBride and Ben Best started, like, smoking weed, you know, and they, like, started smoking weed and the driver jumped out real quick and got in the back and was like, you do not smoke it in my car!

01:13:55Guest:Like that.

01:13:55Guest:He's like, no, you do not!

01:13:57Guest:And Danny has the pipe and he's just staring at him like this.

01:14:00Guest:Like, he's just about to do it.

01:14:02Guest:He's, like, staring at him and the guy's like, don't do it!

01:14:05Guest:Do not do that!

01:14:05Guest:You do that, you get the fuck out of my car!

01:14:07Guest:Like that.

01:14:08Guest:And Danny looked at him and he looked at us and he just went, fuck you.

01:14:14Guest:And the guy went, and the guy went, get out.

01:14:22Guest:And Danny went, yep, I'll get out.

01:14:23Guest:I'm being a dick.

01:14:24Guest:I'm sorry.

01:14:24Guest:He got out of the car.

01:14:27Guest:And we're like, and he's like, where are you assholes going?

01:14:29Guest:And we're like, we're going to Denny's.

01:14:30Guest:And he was like, I know how to get there.

01:14:32Guest:I'll figure it out.

01:14:32Guest:And we just left him.

01:14:34Guest:He totally was a man of his word.

01:14:35Guest:He's like, you're right.

01:14:36Guest:I'm being an asshole.

01:14:36Guest:I'll get out.

01:14:37Guest:I'm sorry.

01:14:38Guest:It was like bravado for like one second.

01:14:40Guest:It was like, fuck, I'm sorry.

01:14:41Guest:I'm being a dick.

01:14:42Guest:I'm being a dick.

01:14:42Guest:Sorry.

01:14:42Marc:Did he show up at Denny's?

01:14:44Marc:Yeah, yeah.

01:14:44Guest:He was like, oh, it was really easy.

01:14:46Guest:I just got a cab.

01:14:46Guest:It was fucking sweet.

01:14:49Guest:That dude let me smoke in his car.

01:14:50Guest:Yeah, he's like, yeah, the cab driver wasn't a dick about it.

01:14:53Guest:Let me smoke, but old man, he didn't give a fuck.

01:14:56Marc:He didn't.

01:14:57Marc:So, like, I gotta ask you, like, you're from Tulsa?

01:15:01Guest:Yeah, Tulsa, Oklahoma.

01:15:03Guest:Who comes from there?

01:15:05Guest:Uh, Hanson...

01:15:08Guest:uh um sarah vall's from oklahoma i was born in muskogee yeah okie from muskogee yeah i'm trying to i don't know anybody else who's from tulsa but i mean like what like i grew up in new mexico gary bucey's from tulsa oh there you go i think he's on the state flag isn't he yeah he's just like hey

01:15:33Guest:That's what happens when you cross into Tulsa, just like, hey.

01:15:38Guest:We're in Tulsa, honey.

01:15:39Guest:We just heard the Gary Busey hey.

01:15:42Guest:Yeah.

01:15:44Guest:That's what happens when you open up doors.

01:15:46Guest:There's a ring.

01:15:46Guest:It's like, hey.

01:15:49Marc:But I mean, I grew up in New Mexico, and I just pictured that there was really just, you know, cowboys and angry indigenous people in Oklahoma.

01:15:58Guest:Yeah, that's not, I mean, yes and no.

01:16:00Guest:I mean, I, you know, once you got around Oral Roberts University, it was kind of like insanity, you know, it was like you would just walk in, and it was this place called Pennington's where we would have our birthday parties, you know, it was like a 50s restaurant, but everybody was like, hi, how are you?

01:16:15Yeah.

01:16:15Guest:And it was kind of like, oh, okay, I get it.

01:16:20Guest:But one time, my mom took me and my little sister, Kara, they took us trick-or-treating out by there, which was by Oral Roberts.

01:16:30Guest:My mom, we had cousins by there, and she's like, we'll go trick-or-treating.

01:16:34Guest:And we went to the first house.

01:16:35Guest:I'm like dressed as, you know, Batman.

01:16:37Guest:My sister's like strawberry shortcake or something.

01:16:38Guest:We're like little, like, what the man?

01:16:40Guest:And we knocked on a door, and this old lady opened the door and threw a bucket of water on us.

01:16:45Guest:And started preaching.

01:16:50Guest:But when you're a kid and someone throws water on you, you're like, yay!

01:16:55Guest:You don't give a shit.

01:16:55Guest:You're like, oh, that was awesome.

01:16:58Guest:They do that too?

01:16:59Guest:And my mom, that was the first time my mom lost her shit.

01:17:05Guest:She just went nuts.

01:17:06Guest:The woman tried to close the door.

01:17:07Guest:She started praying, and then she threw two pamphlets at us.

01:17:11Guest:Like, little kids, and my mom, like, got in the door and was like, you fucking cunt, and, like, called her, like, and was like, you do not throw water on my kids, you cunt, you stupid fucking Christian cunt, and, like, all this stuff.

01:17:21Guest:And we were like, whoa, that's, like, what made us start crying?

01:17:24Guest:Like, we were like, oh, what's mom doing?

01:17:28Guest:Like, that's scary.

01:17:29Guest:She's like, you fucking bitch.

01:17:32Guest:Like, before his cell phone, she went to a neighbor and was like, that dumb bitch next door has to do water on my kids' cunt.

01:17:36Guest:And she called the cops.

01:17:37Guest:It was fucking...

01:17:38Guest:Oh, man, it was great.

01:17:41Marc:Did she do that at every place you stopped?

01:17:42Guest:Yeah, yeah.

01:17:43Guest:She's like, was she a cunt?

01:17:47Guest:No, she was really nice, Mom.

01:17:50Come on.

01:17:50Guest:Fuck.

01:17:51Guest:Was she a cunt?

01:17:52Guest:You look like a cunt.

01:17:53Guest:Sorry.

01:17:54Guest:Sorry, everyone.

01:17:55Guest:Sorry.

01:17:59Guest:Sorry.

01:18:02Marc:No, it's no easy task to get that many cunts out and get that many laughs.

01:18:08Marc:Cunt is usually a laugh killer, but that was fucking beautiful.

01:18:11Marc:That is true, right, Fred?

01:18:13Guest:Yeah, that's right.

01:18:17Guest:We try to throw cunt into every sketch.

01:18:19Guest:We try.

01:18:20Guest:Have we succeeded?

01:18:21Guest:No.

01:18:21Guest:Nah, man.

01:18:22Guest:They won't let us do it, man.

01:18:24Guest:You guys seem so well-adjusted.

01:18:25Guest:When I was a kid, the mythic SNL thing was like, that place is fucked up.

01:18:30Guest:It's nothing but crazy over there.

01:18:31Guest:Not anymore?

01:18:33Guest:It's sweet.

01:18:34Guest:It's very sweet.

01:18:35Guest:Yeah, everybody's really nice.

01:18:37Guest:Wait a minute.

01:18:37Marc:Wait, that seemed like a talking point.

01:18:40Guest:Yeah.

01:18:40Guest:No, I mean, it's just like... Tell them it's sweet.

01:18:46Guest:No, it's just very... No, it is.

01:18:48Guest:It's very nice.

01:18:49Guest:Like, people come and they want to, like, sometimes hosts come or bands and they're, like, ready to party and stuff.

01:18:54Guest:Yeah, it's quiet time.

01:18:55Guest:Yeah, it's all quiet time.

01:18:57Guest:There's mats on the floor.

01:18:58Guest:We're taking naps.

01:18:59Guest:Yeah.

01:18:59Guest:How often do you have to deal with Lorne?

01:19:03Guest:Every day?

01:19:04Marc:All the time.

01:19:04Marc:He's awesome.

01:19:05Guest:He really is great.

01:19:07Guest:He's very hands-on.

01:19:09Marc:Can I share with you how paranoid I am?

01:19:12Marc:I had one meeting with him.

01:19:15Guest:When?

01:19:16Marc:Like 95 or something.

01:19:18Marc:And it didn't go well.

01:19:20Marc:And I think he brought me in was when Luna was starting downtown.

01:19:23Marc:And the first thing he said to me was like, I don't know what you think you're doing down there below 14th Street, but it doesn't matter.

01:19:32Marc:it didn't matter did it no it didn't matter at all and but but this is how nuts i am and how self-important i am is like the wall street journal wrote up this show and and i told i told the interviewer who was asking me about you know luna and and that you guys were coming on and then i told him about the snl story and i told him that story uh because he was asking me about alternative comedy and i i called him back

01:19:59Marc:And I said, look, could you pull the Lorne thing out?

01:20:02Marc:Because I don't want him to see it and then say, and then keep Fred and Bill late.

01:20:07Marc:Like I thought Lorne Michaels was going to see that story and say, you guys aren't going.

01:20:13Guest:You're not going to the fabled WTM.

01:20:19Guest:Wow.

01:20:19Guest:That's crazy.

01:20:20Guest:That's a good move, though.

01:20:22Guest:That is a good move.

01:20:24Guest:He did the right thing.

01:20:25Guest:You did do the right thing.

01:20:26Guest:No, yeah.

01:20:27Guest:It makes you feel any better.

01:20:28Guest:Everybody at the show listens.

01:20:29Guest:I mean, it's like...

01:20:30Guest:Everybody's huge, huge, huge fans of you at the show.

01:20:34Guest:Oh, thanks, man.

01:20:35Guest:Brian Tucker talks about you all the time.

01:20:37Guest:John Mulaney.

01:20:37Guest:John Mulaney comes in every day like, did you hear it?

01:20:45Marc:It was crazy.

01:20:46Marc:My friend Al Madrigal, who's a very funny man, I called him and said you were going to be on.

01:20:50Marc:He goes, oh, shit, dude.

01:20:52Marc:Tell him to do Alda.

01:20:53Marc:He does the best fucking Alda.

01:20:55Guest:Oh, that's funny.

01:20:58Marc:And I hate to be that guy to tell you to do it, but would you do it?

01:21:02Marc:Do you have to find it?

01:21:03Guest:I have to find it.

01:21:04Guest:Okay.

01:21:05Guest:We did Alan Alda and the Back to the Future auditioning for Biff.

01:21:10Guest:He's like, I... Hey, why don't... You know, this is great.

01:21:15Guest:You know, like...

01:21:19Guest:Hey, why don't you make like a tree and get out of here?

01:21:26Guest:That is a great line, by the way.

01:21:28Guest:That is really... There's my own order.

01:21:31Guest:There you go.

01:21:32Guest:Thank you.

01:21:35Guest:That's one of those ones you do it on the live show and it's like met with the silence.

01:21:40Guest:Because people don't know who he is?

01:21:41Guest:Yeah, yeah.

01:21:42Guest:People go like... Oh, that's ridiculous.

01:21:44Guest:But then, yeah, but that's one.

01:21:47Guest:Like, Lauren loves that one.

01:21:49Guest:Oh, I bet.

01:21:49Guest:He loves that one.

01:21:50Guest:What other ones does Lauren love?

01:21:51Guest:I'm fascinated with this fucking guy.

01:21:53Guest:What does Lauren like doing?

01:21:54Guest:What is like, what are impressions and stuff?

01:21:57Marc:What does Lorne make you do?

01:21:59Marc:Make us do?

01:22:00Marc:No, doesn't he ever say like, he also told me comedians are like monkeys.

01:22:03Marc:He also said that.

01:22:04Guest:Oh, really?

01:22:06Guest:Dude, you don't know that story?

01:22:07Guest:He's never made us.

01:22:08Guest:He's never like made us.

01:22:09Guest:He'll say like, he'll order stuff up.

01:22:11Guest:Yeah, but he's not like you better.

01:22:12Guest:What do you mean, like to a secondary person?

01:22:14Guest:He'll come up and be like, it'd be great if I can get his stuff on this week.

01:22:17Guest:And you go, okay, sure, I need that.

01:22:20Guest:Or he'll say, or he'll say, you know, something to you.

01:22:24Guest:Alright, alright, alright, alright.

01:22:33Guest:That did seem like I was totally teeing myself up.

01:22:36Guest:I'm sorry.

01:22:37Guest:I was not trying to tee myself up.

01:22:41Guest:But they'll order some stuff up, but they don't... He doesn't just have you come in and go, do the thing.

01:22:47Guest:No, it's just like... Monkey.

01:22:50Guest:Yeah, they'll order stuff up every once in a while, but not really.

01:22:54Guest:I mean, there's certain things he'll laugh really hard at.

01:22:57Guest:anytime Will Forte would get angry in a sketch, Lauren would start laughing really hard.

01:23:04Guest:And Will's face would get red and be like, what the fuck are you doing?

01:23:09Guest:That was like Lauren's sweet spot.

01:23:11Guest:Lauren would just start laughing and

01:23:13Guest:You would see it on the horizon.

01:23:15Marc:But does that make everybody feel good?

01:23:16Marc:Does Will come back and go, I fucking made the king laugh?

01:23:19Guest:Yeah, yeah.

01:23:20Guest:Or you do hear that sometimes.

01:23:21Guest:You go back to the office and be like, Lauren was laughing.

01:23:24Guest:Yeah, that's a point.

01:23:25Guest:That's a point.

01:23:25Guest:I have to read through it.

01:23:27Guest:Or you're doing something.

01:23:27Guest:You look up and he's not laughing.

01:23:29Guest:And you're like, oh, no.

01:23:36Guest:He's thinking about how great it is.

01:23:37Guest:That's what's happening.

01:23:39Guest:You're so positive, right?

01:23:40Marc:Has he ever given you any weird notes?

01:23:43Marc:Like that just made you go, oh, okay.

01:23:46Guest:Sometimes you have to like think like, what does he mean by that?

01:23:50Guest:It's that kind of thing.

01:23:51Guest:But they're always constructed.

01:23:52Guest:He'll do a weird psych out thing.

01:23:53Guest:Not weird psych, but I think he's being honest, but it becomes a psych.

01:23:56Guest:Like the very first Vincent Price we did, I came up and he was like, there's a band playing.

01:24:01Guest:I'm dressed as Vincent Price.

01:24:02Guest:I'm sitting there.

01:24:03Guest:I'm like really nervous.

01:24:04Guest:It's like my fifth show or something.

01:24:06Guest:And he came up to me.

01:24:06Guest:He's like, I like this, but why now?

01:24:09Yeah.

01:24:10Guest:And I was like, why didn't you just say I'm about to go on live?

01:24:15Guest:And he's like, no, no, it's good.

01:24:16Guest:I like it.

01:24:20Guest:When was that?

01:24:21Guest:Was that during the live show?

01:24:22Guest:That was a live show.

01:24:23Guest:Yeah, right before the live show.

01:24:24Guest:He's like, why now?

01:24:24Guest:Why are we doing this?

01:24:26Guest:And it's true.

01:24:32Guest:It's like, I'm like, I don't know why we're doing it.

01:24:33Guest:So if you watch that first one, Evil and Gory, I full on trip up on my first line.

01:24:37Guest:I'm like, hello, I'm Vince.

01:24:39Guest:Because you were thinking, why am I doing this?

01:24:42Guest:I was like, why did that just happen?

01:24:43Guest:Why am I doing this?

01:24:46Guest:I'm so not making it on the show right now.

01:24:49Marc:What's a favorite one you do?

01:24:50Marc:What do you get the most satisfaction out of doing?

01:24:53Marc:Your character?

01:24:54Marc:Which character?

01:24:54Marc:Which one do you look forward to?

01:24:56Guest:I like doing Stefan, and I like doing Herb.

01:25:00Guest:This guy, Herb Welch, is a new one.

01:25:02Guest:He's like this old reporter who keeps hitting people in the face with his microphone.

01:25:07Guest:And I remember the first time we did that, I was...

01:25:10Guest:petrified because I had to hit Anne Hathaway a bunch in the face with the microphone.

01:25:14Guest:I was like, she's the host.

01:25:15Guest:And I was like, you know, and it was dress rehearsal.

01:25:17Guest:And I was like, microphone.

01:25:20Guest:And, and I, and I didn't know if it worked or not.

01:25:23Guest:And I came out and I used a name dropping.

01:25:25Guest:I'm totally, but Chris Rock was, was there and I saw him and I was like, Hey, and, and he goes, don't worry.

01:25:30Guest:That was great.

01:25:31Guest:If that, if hitting people in the face doesn't work, we're all fucked.

01:25:36Guest:Bill Hader, ladies and gentlemen, Fred Armisen.

01:25:40Guest:Eric Drysdale, Chuck Klosterman, Sarah Vowell.

01:25:45Guest:Thank you for coming out for Live WTF.

01:25:49Guest:If you want a t-shirt or a record or CD, I'll be out there.

01:25:52Guest:You guys were great.

01:25:54Marc:Thank you for listening to the show.

01:25:57Marc:I really appreciate all your gifts and all your love.

01:26:00Guest:Thank you so much.

01:26:01Guest:This has been Live WTF from the Bell House in Brooklyn.

01:26:04Guest:Truly the greatest live show we've ever had.

01:26:06Guest:Good night.