Episode 1452 - Sarah Tiana
Marc:all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck buddies what the fuck nicks what the fuckadelics what's happening i'm mark maron this is my podcast wtf welcome to it what's happening how's it going where are we at
Marc:Today on the show, my friend Sarah Tiana is here.
Marc:She's a comic.
Marc:I see her all the time, like every week, at least once a week at the Comedy Store.
Marc:She was a regular on Chelsea lately and Lights Out on Comedy Central.
Marc:And her new special called 44 is on YouTube.
Marc:And it was just one of those things, you know, I'm like, why hasn't she been on?
Marc:I'm always seeing her.
Marc:And I was like, well, you should be on.
Marc:So today she's on.
Marc:And we had a nice conversation.
Marc:Another thing, people in L.A., or if you're traveling to L.A., I'm a Dynasty typewriter on the 18th and 25th, both Tuesday nights.
Marc:And I'm back at Largo on Thursday, July 27th.
Marc:I'll be at the Salt Lake City Wiseguys on August 11th and 12th for four shows.
Marc:Then I'm at the Las Vegas Wiseguys on September 22nd and 23rd.
Marc:You can go to wtfpod.com for tickets.
Marc:Also, there are new Brian Jones cap mugs available to purchase starting today at noon Eastern.
Marc:These are the same mugs Brian makes for me to give out to my guests, and these new ones have a brand new design of Charlie Beans with art from our friend Dima.
Marc:The new mugs are available today at noon Eastern at wtfmugs.co.
Marc:So, what's up?
Marc:I did Dynasty Typewriter on Tuesday night, and I'm going into a direction...
Marc:that seems relevant.
Marc:It almost seems like the last frontier for me in terms of what I want to talk about.
Marc:And it's personal and it's trauma-based.
Marc:And I've decided somewhere in my mind that almost all of our cultural problems are personal trauma-based and what people do with that, how they decide to sort of live in it, move around it, act against it.
Marc:I don't know, but I'm digging deep and it's happening.
Marc:And I can't,
Marc:help.
Marc:And sometimes I feel this here, but certainly when I do these longer sets to sort of move towards the bigger sets, uh, you know, I feel exposed when I get off stage, I feel vulnerable and I don't always know why I put what I put out there out there.
Marc:And I think it's for me on some level, but it's also to connect with people, but it gets more and more specific and
Marc:You know, obviously, in the last special, I talked about some cultural stuff.
Marc:So there's plenty of like minded people who who think the way I do.
Marc:And then I talked about grief and everybody has had to deal with that.
Marc:And I talked about myself, which kind of closes the lens a little bit.
Marc:Not everyone's living the life I live.
Marc:And certainly there are limits to what my experiences are in relation to people who have different lives than me.
Marc:So what am I getting at?
Marc:Well, what am I looking for?
Marc:You know, I've spent I spent a lot of time these days looking back at my life.
Marc:And it's not nostalgia because there was never a time before this where I thought, man, that was the best time of my life.
Marc:I think I'm having the best time of my life now.
Marc:And that's true.
Marc:And it's it's good.
Marc:And I'm grateful for it.
Marc:But, you know, I watch... Last few nights, I sit around, I watch old clips of Don Rickles on Johnny Carson.
Marc:I watch old clips of Rodney Dangerfield.
Marc:And I loved these guys.
Marc:And I saw who they were in their character, in their act.
Marc:I understood that they were doing jokes, at least Rodney was.
Marc:But, you know, whatever that template of...
Marc:Character that was just just above the surface and he used to deliver jokes underneath that was, you know, completely depressive, miserable man.
Marc:And Don, you know, I watch him and, you know, he's not so much hinging on jokes, just on timing and and and style.
Marc:But, you know, he's an angry fuck.
Marc:There's no way he's not an angry fuck.
Marc:I mean, you know, he really pushes the edge, not just culturally, but with whoever he's talking to.
Marc:I mean, it took years for I imagine people just take it from him.
Marc:But sometimes it got pretty uncomfortable.
Marc:But nonetheless, these guys were big acts in a specific type of show business.
Marc:playing Vegas, playing, you know, these type of venues that were common, dinner clubs, you know, some comedy clubs.
Marc:But mostly I think the trajectory was you get on TV, you do Vegas.
Marc:Now, I couldn't think of a more miserable place for me to be than in a casino place.
Marc:Theater doing Vegas.
Marc:I don't believe that my people would come.
Marc:But nonetheless, there's part of me that thinks like, well, why not?
Marc:Why am I not that kind of act?
Marc:It's just not what I got into it for.
Marc:And there's times where I think like, well, what did I get into it for?
Marc:What am I doing?
Marc:What am I trying to do up there?
Marc:You know, what do I do?
Marc:Look, I have an audience.
Marc:I'm grateful for you.
Marc:You know, I can earn a living doing stand-up comedy.
Marc:I'm grateful for that.
Marc:I do believe I'm unique.
Marc:And as we've talked about before, I might be entering my he's a character phase of my life.
Marc:But there's something I can't reconcile sometimes.
Marc:The nominees...
Marc:For comedy special, I guess the category is outstanding variety special pre-recorded.
Marc:For this year's Emmy Awards are Carol Burnett, 90 Years of Laughter and Love on NBC.
Marc:John Mulaney, Baby J, Netflix.
Marc:Lizzo, Live in Concert, HBO Max.
Marc:Norman Lear, 100 Years of Music and Laughter on ABC.
Marc:Trevor Noah, I wish you would on Netflix.
Marc:And Wanda Sykes, I'm an entertainer on Netflix.
Marc:I'm not on that list.
Marc:I'm never on that list.
Marc:And I do believe I've been doing my best work in the last few specials.
Marc:And I do always want to get an Emmy nomination.
Marc:And I put effort into it.
Marc:as much as I can or know how to do, get myself out there, get a little publicity going.
Marc:But I don't win things.
Marc:And every time I don't get nominated, like I'm used to it.
Marc:Half of me didn't expect it.
Marc:You know, I knew Mulaney would get nominated just because he gets nominated.
Marc:But there's no way for me not to judge myself harshly, even though I know I'm doing the best work I'm capable of doing.
Marc:And I don't know really why that is.
Marc:Does it matter?
Marc:Who votes for these things?
Marc:You think it's your peers?
Marc:Why do I want a trophy?
Marc:I don't know, because I've been working hard at this thing for a long time.
Marc:And granted, a lot of other people have too.
Marc:But there is some weird thing where it's like, no matter how much success I have, that when this thing happens, I'm like, well, what the fuck?
Marc:I mean, what do I got to do?
Marc:And like, I can't do anything else.
Marc:And what difference does it make?
Marc:And I don't.
Marc:So I have to track it.
Marc:You know, I have to track it in my head.
Marc:What do I do up there?
Marc:And I just did an hour and a half at Largo last night about very personal stuff.
Marc:And it was very rewarding.
Marc:And I found the funny.
Marc:And I found some callbacks that are going to work.
Marc:And I think it resonates.
Marc:And it is slightly uncomfortable what I do for me and the audience sometimes.
Marc:But the laughs are there.
Marc:It's solid.
Marc:I am a professional.
Marc:But there's some part of me that wants to be in this zone of professional comics that are always, you know, like one of the guys.
Marc:And then that's really what it breaks down to.
Marc:That's really what it comes down to.
Marc:Is that, you know, in my life, when I was younger, I was never a cool guy.
Marc:You know, I was never like, you know, one of the cool guys.
Marc:And I'm not the guy that people think like, you know, what could make this party better?
Marc:Let's invite Mark.
Marc:Hey, you know what?
Marc:You know what would make this whatever really good is if Maren were here.
Marc:Now, look, again, maybe I'm just I'm not feeling sorry for myself.
Marc:Maybe I'm being the shit out of myself, but this is my life.
Marc:I'm 59 years old.
Marc:I'm not in the dark about this stuff.
Marc:But really, when I think back about who I was in high school, I was awkward.
Marc:I was trying too hard.
Marc:I was needy.
Marc:I was funny, but I was intense.
Marc:I made people uncomfortable.
Marc:I really didn't have a handle on my emotional grounding or who I was in the world, but who does in high school?
Marc:But nonetheless, I had to try very hard to do all those things.
Marc:And I was terribly...
Marc:You know, insecure and, you know, totally uncomfortable.
Marc:Never cool.
Marc:And I don't know that I'm cool now.
Marc:Maybe I am, but I'm a character.
Marc:I'm old.
Marc:I think I might be a cool old character to a degree.
Marc:But there's some part of me that every time I do not get an award or nominated or the recognition that I crave, which is, I don't know what, I've got a great audience.
Marc:You guys are out there.
Marc:People come to my shows.
Marc:I don't know what it would take.
Marc:The bottom line is whatever I need in that area in terms of like you did good, you know, I'm proud of you.
Marc:You know, I didn't get that when I was a kid.
Marc:And I'm certainly not going to get it now.
Marc:And I've transferred it on to other shit.
Marc:So I guess what I'm saying is I'm happy with my life.
Marc:But anytime, every time this happens, when I do this work, and I think it demands and deserves to be honored in a way, that there's this other thing.
Marc:First of all, I have that feeling of like, well, am I deluding myself?
Marc:And secondly, it's like, why am I not one of the cool guys?
Marc:Am I ever going to be fucking cool?
Marc:So needless to say, I have to manage this bruised ego and these immature feelings moving forward right now.
Marc:But I'm okay.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:Thank you for your concern.
Marc:I know it seems trite.
Marc:It seems dumb.
Marc:It's not even that important.
Marc:You know, I mean, show business is barely what it used to be.
Marc:And everybody sort of has their own show business.
Marc:I'm having my own show business right now.
Marc:But there is something about being...
Marc:welcomed and honored in regular showbiz that I grew up with, you know?
Marc:I grew up with like, hey, look, that guy won an award.
Marc:I like that guy.
Marc:I love that guy.
Marc:He does good.
Marc:He won the prize.
Marc:And I don't know what I expect, man.
Marc:You know, I know I did good work, but there's part of me, it's like, why isn't everybody reaching out to me to tell me what an amazing thing I did?
Marc:And the weird thing is, they did it.
Marc:So many of my peers, so many of you, you know, they did.
Marc:What the fuck is it about a goddamn statue?
Marc:What is it?
Marc:I've got to reconfigure my brain.
Marc:You know?
Marc:It's just like... It was...
Marc:It was like doing, you know, like I was the last to get on Letterman, you know, and everybody was getting on Letterman.
Marc:All you wanted to do back in the day was get on Letterman.
Marc:You know, that was the prize.
Marc:That was what we were working for.
Marc:That was what, you know, validated you in the business when I was coming up.
Marc:And when I did my first Letterman, it was amazing.
Marc:An amazing feeling.
Marc:And I'll never forget it.
Marc:It made me feel validated and I fucking nailed it.
Marc:I made choices.
Marc:All right.
Marc:The suit wasn't great, but I was almost channeling all of my heroes.
Marc:My jokes were tight.
Marc:My style was tight.
Marc:Almost not even like me.
Marc:It was almost a different person.
Marc:Like I became television.
Marc:I can feel it now.
Marc:And that's not nothing.
Marc:And maybe that's all I want.
Marc:And I don't think it's a lot to ask for is to have that feeling to say like, thank you for this.
Marc:winged lady holding the world.
Marc:Thank you.
Marc:I'll remember this.
Marc:I'll put it on my shelf.
Marc:There are guys I know that have won tons of the things.
Marc:It's just part of the game.
Marc:But when I don't win any of it, I feel like, am I even on the field?
Marc:I want to be a cool guy with a statue and
Marc:But I do remember, I do remember the moments, and I do remember the horrible times.
Marc:Horrible times as a standup far outnumber the great moments.
Marc:But I do remember the great moments, and some of them happened last night when I was doing my show at Dynasty Typewriter, exploring, riffing,
Marc:finding callbacks, bringing things back around, lucidity, stream of consciousness, moving through stuff in a symbiotic relationship with an audience of 150 people, doing a show that will never happen again, and hopefully moving into these new areas of material that I find rewarding.
Marc:and challenging to sort of ride that line I like to ride between vulnerability, sadness, and common experience.
Marc:So last night was equally as amazing as my first Letterman appearance in a way.
Marc:And I've got to remember that it's always really about the work.
Marc:for I think whatever you do, and I've gotta remember that I've never done the type of work I'm doing now, and I've worked a long time to do it, and it means something to me, and I think I just have to temper that part of me that believes that it should mean something to the entire world.
Marc:And how I would even know that, I don't know.
Marc:But I'm pretty sure it doesn't necessarily.
Marc:Maybe on a small level.
Marc:You know, one person, you know, it's a butterfly effect.
Marc:But I have to keep that in mind.
Marc:That last night, for several chunks of minutes, I felt the transcendence and connection and revelation of
Marc:of creation within the form that I've chosen.
Marc:And that is the best.
Marc:That is the award where things come to you from out of nowhere and fall into place.
Marc:And there's discovery for me simultaneously with a live audience.
Marc:That's the way I like to do it.
Marc:Thank you for my prize.
Marc:You guys are my prize.
Marc:I hope you're doing well.
Marc:And now, again, I'm about to talk to Sarah Tiana.
Marc:who I've known a very long time, who's very funny.
Marc:And her new comedy special, 44, is now available on YouTube.
Marc:It was taped in the main room at the Comedy Store.
Marc:You can find more Sarah at sarahtiana.com.
Marc:And this is me getting to know Sarah for the first time after, God, how long has it been?
Marc:Long time.
Marc:Years.
Marc:So how was Disneyland?
Guest:Disneyland was actually magical.
Guest:I mean, it's the first time I've ever had an incredibly beautiful time there.
Marc:Is it the first time you've been with a child?
Guest:It's the first time I've been with my child.
Marc:That's what I mean.
Marc:I took... You just grab other kids and bring them sometimes?
Guest:No.
Guest:I had gone to Disneyland a lot as an adult with an adult friend, which always felt weird, but he was a real theme park aficionado, so he knew a lot of history about the parks.
Marc:He was a theme park nerd?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:He was a theme park nerd.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I randomly know way more about Knott's Berry Farm than I know.
Guest:And I have a connection to Knott's because my great great uncle got married at Mrs. Knott's Chicken Dinner, which was how the park started was as a little restaurant.
Marc:Wait, is this like deep family lore?
Guest:It was just the nicest restaurant in Orange County at the time.
Marc:But this story was passed down to you?
Marc:He told me.
Marc:Oh, your uncle.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:My great-great uncle, when I moved to L.A.
Marc:He was around, and he told you.
Guest:He was in his late 80s, and I lived with him in Huntington Beach when I first moved here.
Guest:So I had family and knew somebody.
Guest:And then, yeah, he always talked about Mrs. Knott's chicken dinner.
Guest:Just great.
Guest:It is.
Marc:So was this information you were able to give your theme park nerd that he didn't know?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, he felt maybe more of a connection, you know.
Guest:But, you know, Mr. Knott's was well revered by Walt Disney.
Guest:He taught Walt Disney everything.
Marc:Oh, so Knott's Berry Farms pre-existed Disney.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:So he gave him the inside line of how to run this theme park racket.
Guest:Yeah, kind of.
Guest:He taught him how to hide the line.
Guest:You know, when you walk onto a ride and you go, oh, there's not a line.
Guest:Let's go on this one.
Guest:And then all of a sudden you get into some tunnel and you're in some maze and you're like, oh, wow.
Marc:That's half the ride.
Guest:Yeah.
I have the ride.
Guest:He's waiting.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Mike Binder used to do a joke when he was a kid that was so funny.
Marc:He used to act out this thing like a day at Disneyland.
Marc:And it was just him stepping forward.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I remember seeing him on TV when I was a kid.
Marc:So how old's your kid?
Marc:Three.
Marc:So that made it better.
Guest:It made it much better because he was genuinely excited.
Guest:And he knows nothing about Disneyland.
Guest:He doesn't watch Mickey Mouse.
Guest:He doesn't watch any of that kind of stuff.
Guest:He just watches videos of race cars on YouTube.
Guest:That's all he does?
Guest:He loves race cars and baseball.
Marc:Is that because of your husband or you?
Marc:Has it happened organically?
Marc:You are putting it in front of him.
Marc:You're choosing.
Guest:I guess, but he just came out like the first time he saw a truck in a book.
Guest:It was like truck.
Guest:He just, you know, then he would point them out.
Guest:It wasn't me putting trucks in front of him.
Guest:It was just in a book.
Guest:It was inherent.
Marc:That's wild.
Guest:You know, when they're all boy, they're all boy.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:It is very bizarre.
Marc:Have you talked to other people with boys?
Marc:I mean, I know that it's sort of a thing.
Marc:Trucks.
Marc:Sometimes.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, I had some friends in New York and they wouldn't show their daughter any Disney princess stuff.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But one day she put on a dress and just started twirling around.
Marc:Oh, but don't you think she must have got it at school or something?
Guest:You think, but I don't think she was old enough to be in school yet.
Guest:That's wild.
Guest:And so it's very bizarre when they are just born, you know, I think it's proof that you're born the way you are.
Marc:Yeah, I don't know.
Marc:I've somehow managed to get out of this life without children.
Guest:But the nurture takes over, and I do nurture that interest.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:The kid likes trucks.
Marc:Here's a truck.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Right.
Guest:We point out different kinds of trucks.
Marc:So at Disneyland, though, like he was genuinely excited.
Guest:Genuinely just enamored by everything.
Marc:Really?
Guest:The characters and, I mean, obviously the food.
Marc:Did he know the characters at all yet?
Marc:No.
Guest:He knew Mickey and Minnie.
Guest:He's seen them before.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But that was pretty much it.
Marc:It's wild because, like, I haven't been to the park in a while.
Marc:I think I dated a woman who had a Disney thing, a mild one, but I went down there.
Marc:But some of this stuff is so old, but because they keep it so clean, it doesn't feel like some shitty roadside attraction.
Marc:Do you know what I mean?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Some of this stuff is so dated, but it's like the upkeep is so intense that, you know, it's sort of timeless in that way.
Guest:It is interesting to go back because it's probably been 10 years since I've been to Disneyland.
Guest:With the guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The nerd.
Guest:Yes, with the nerd.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:To go back with a child and then to see all the changes that they've made post- COVID?
Guest:Awokenings, you know?
Marc:Oh, post-woke?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, I guess.
Guest:I mean, I'm not saying that what they did, you know, the woke movement is wrong.
Guest:I'm just saying.
Marc:No, I get it.
Marc:But what are they adjusting?
Guest:You know, like on the Jungle Cruise, they're- Oh, so you mean racist stuff?
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Guest:Or It's a Small World looks different.
Guest:And The Pirates of the Caribbean is not men chasing women in their underwear.
Guest:Now it's women chasing men with a rolling pin.
Marc:It's funny because I don't think that those are necessarily woke.
Marc:I think those are just reasonable historical corrections.
Guest:Yes, reasonably historical corrections.
Guest:You are absolutely right.
Guest:But it's just— But they did it, huh?
Guest:They did it.
Marc:So—
Marc:Well, how has it changed?
Marc:It's a small world.
Marc:I mean, are the outfits still there?
Marc:The outfits are still there.
Marc:They got rid of the slanty eyes?
Guest:No, they did not do that.
Guest:But, you know, it's not just, like, maybe it's color.
Guest:So, like, you know, like Egyptians or, you know.
Marc:Oh, they made the tones better?
Guest:Yeah, they just, you know, made them more...
Marc:Diverse?
Marc:Diverse and realistic.
Marc:And there's no crazy rapist pirates anymore.
Guest:Right.
Guest:The pirates, I think, was the biggest one.
Guest:And then the guys on the—what's that pole called that, you know, with the Mayan heads?
Guest:A totem pole?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:It used to just be, like, black African men being chased up the pole.
Guest:And now it's a variety of people being chased up.
Guest:They're nature explorers.
Marc:All the people from It's a Small World—
Marc:Are now on the pole.
Marc:They grew them up and put them on the pole.
Guest:Yes, yes.
Marc:I can't even remember what those rides are.
Marc:I just remember the couple of times I was there that even when I was a kid and as I got older, I had the same reaction that like future land had no appeal.
Yeah.
Marc:What is that?
Marc:Tomorrowland.
Marc:Yeah, Tomorrowland.
Marc:Yes, Tomorrowland.
Marc:And it had that thing where you'd get on the train and then it had that illusion like it shrunk you.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Guest:I don't remember that one.
Marc:Well, you just see the little cars and then you go into some place where it's supposed to be your small.
Marc:I can't remember.
Guest:Oh, sure.
Guest:That was before the Autopia ride.
Guest:Those were the future cars, the realistically future cars made by Honda.
Marc:Yeah.
Yeah.
Marc:They don't fly.
Marc:So that exists, Tomorrowland still?
Guest:Tomorrowland still exists.
Marc:So did they update that?
Marc:Because we're kind of living.
Marc:That's the one that's not going to age well.
Marc:It was like an old sci-fi movie.
Guest:It was very interesting to see the submarine ride.
Marc:Oh, I used to like that one.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:That used to be 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
Marc:I hear there's four people stuck on it right now.
Yes.
Guest:That's what I meant.
Guest:It was just like.
Marc:But the fucking thing is is that like it seems like there's more upkeep to the submarine in Disneyland than the one that these guys got on.
Guest:Oh, those are way more regulated and safety.
Marc:But it's fucking insane.
Marc:Just because you have money you're going to get.
Marc:It's like it's the equivalent.
Marc:It's the wealthy equivalent of being at a traveling carnival with a midway.
Guest:Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Marc:With the guy with the tattoo on his face running the roller coaster.
Marc:Like, I guess it'll be all right.
Guest:Rolling the dice.
Guest:Right.
Guest:It is crazy.
Guest:Fascinating what rich people need to do to still feel a rush.
Right.
Marc:Yeah, I was talking about that with my girlfriend last night.
Marc:It feels like a rich premise for me.
Marc:Because I've got a little money saved, but I don't do anything with it because I can't think what to do.
Marc:Dean talked me into getting this fucking watch.
Marc:Oh, great.
Marc:And then I'm sort of like, well, it's nice, but I wouldn't have never done it.
Marc:And also, I've got to wind it.
Marc:Oh, no.
Marc:I know.
Guest:You've got to put work into a watch?
Marc:Right.
Marc:Well, it's just, you know, at least twice a day, I look at my watch nine times, and it takes me that long to realize, like, oh, it's not running.
Guest:It's like talking about my great uncle.
Guest:You know, he had all those old jokes.
Guest:You know, he had a broken clock in his house, and then they come in.
Guest:That clock's right twice a day.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, I guess I just—I feel—
Guest:I feel the same way about Tom Cruise, where you just go like, he wants to die doing a stunt, right?
Guest:Clearly, this guy has everything he could ever possibly want, so he just needs the thrill-seeking adventurer part.
Guest:Those are the parts of his psyche that are untapped.
Guest:I want to jump from a plane.
Guest:I want to actually fly this plane in Top Gun.
Marc:Yeah, and apparently Bob Dylan wants to die in a bus.
Guest:Is that true?
Guest:Why?
Guest:What's going on with Bob Dylan?
Marc:He's just always on the road.
Marc:Oh.
Marc:It's like, you know, he's like 80s.
Marc:It's sort of like, you know, all right.
Marc:Well, that's the way you want to go.
Guest:Has he retired a lot?
Marc:No.
Guest:Like you two was always like the last tour.
Marc:No, I don't think Bob Dylan ever even paid any lip service to retiring.
Marc:I think that every album he puts out now, you're sort of like, well, that was it.
Marc:It sounds like he's about done.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So what did the kid get excited about the most?
Marc:Did you go on The Haunted House with the kid?
Guest:Yeah, we went to— No problem with that?
Marc:No problem.
Guest:He's not afraid of anything.
Marc:Nothing?
Marc:No.
Marc:Does the ghost still sit with you at the end?
Guest:It did not.
Guest:It's supposed to, and I think that part must have been broken.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:It stopped a couple times.
Marc:How long did you have to wait for the broken ending?
Guest:Well, you know what it is crazy is now they have this part.
Guest:There's a Disneyland app that tells you all the wait times for every ride.
Guest:So you can kind of plan accordingly.
Guest:And then they have a thing.
Guest:It sounds like I'm doing a promotion for it, but they have this thing called Disney Genie Plus.
Guest:So it's $30 per ticket.
Marc:Additional.
Guest:Additional per ticket.
Guest:But it lets you make a reservation on one ride at a time.
Guest:So we never waited more than five minutes on a ride.
Marc:Really?
Marc:To get on a ride.
Marc:And you went during the week or what?
Guest:We went yesterday, which was what?
Guest:A Wednesday?
Marc:That was a crowded?
Yeah.
Guest:I mean, it was crowded.
Guest:Yeah, but not bad.
Guest:No.
Guest:I mean, the biggest rides, Star Wars and Space Mountain, had over-hour waits.
Guest:Space Mountain.
Guest:But you could make an appointment.
Marc:It's only like two minutes, right?
Marc:You know, it's like two minutes.
Marc:Every ride is two minutes.
Marc:Yeah, is the Matterhorn still the thing?
Guest:The Matterhorn, yeah.
Marc:But in my recollection, they're not that thrilling, the roller coasters at Disneyland, are they?
No.
Guest:No, I mean, they're made for children, so they're not that thrilling.
Guest:They're not high.
Marc:I remember who I went with.
Marc:It was my second wife because she was a roller coaster freak, and we went to the grown-up Disneyland across the street.
Guest:California Adventure.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:That has better rides.
Marc:She made me go on that roller coaster.
Guest:Yeah, but Knott's Berry Farm, I think, has the best of everything.
Marc:Is that true?
Guest:Because it has the kitschiness of Disneyland, like the cute, like different towns, but the rides of Six Flags.
Marc:Where is Knott's Berry Farm?
Guest:It's right down the road.
Guest:It's in Anaheim as well.
Marc:Oh, it's right there?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:What's that one out in the desert that looks like no one's ever there?
Marc:Like that Six Flags.
Marc:Isn't there a Six Flags out?
Guest:There is a Six Flags up in Santa Clarita.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Is that the desert?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, is that to you?
Guest:Because it's 30 miles outside of L.A.
Marc:You're like, I don't know.
Marc:But it's 30 miles east.
Marc:No one lives there.
Marc:It seems to get a little deserty out there.
Marc:Is it north?
Marc:Yes.
Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, but I just remember driving by it because they always shoot shit out there.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Guest:They used to shoot CSI up there.
Guest:Disney Ranch is up there.
Marc:Yeah, I just remember driving by it.
Marc:Every time I drive by it, I'm like, is that ever open?
Marc:It never looks like there's anyone there.
Guest:It's definitely open.
Guest:Because, you know, people, those rides, there's always something that happens once a year on one of those rides.
Marc:Six Flags?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And Knott's Berry Farm, too.
Guest:They had the swings ride that was super high.
Guest:It still is.
Guest:And people were trapped up there because of the Santa Ana winds.
Marc:Just dangling.
Guest:For eight hours.
Guest:Can you imagine?
Marc:Hey, look, anything's better than being in a submarine next to the Titanic.
Marc:I'm sorry.
Guest:Were you into the Titanic?
Guest:Are you into that kind of historical disaster stuff?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I love seeing the pictures.
Marc:But you know what?
Marc:I was satisfied with them.
Guest:The pictures.
Marc:Yeah, it was great.
Marc:And some of the video footage, like, that's cool.
Marc:There was no part of me that's like, wow, man, I want to get in there.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I wonder if there'll be any conspiracy theories that get.
Marc:I think there already are of some kind.
Guest:That's always fascinating to me when people.
Marc:Yeah, somehow it had something to do with the Jews.
Marc:That's it.
Guest:There's always, you know, I feel like they're responsible in some way.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:The great puppeteers, my people.
Marc:So wait, like, so I didn't realize that also, I don't always do this, but you might want to update your website unless your husband is okay with you saying you don't consider yourself single.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, really?
Guest:Does it still say that?
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:On my bio?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, God.
Guest:Yeah, I definitely need to update that.
Guest:And I thought I did.
Guest:But I'm not married.
Marc:We're not married.
Marc:Oh, but what is the joke?
Marc:It was a joke, right?
Marc:You don't say you're single.
Guest:You say you're sexually active.
Guest:That was a joke from when I was 30.
Guest:That's a 15-year-old joke.
Guest:It wasn't even that good back then.
Marc:It's even worse today.
Marc:But I read it.
Marc:I'm like, whoa, what happened?
Marc:What is she?
Guest:You know, I really went through that phase of thinking that as a female comic, I was supposed to talk about that kind of like sex.
Guest:And I guess at the time I was probably having it way more than I, you know, but I, then I went through, then I realized I should just talk, be honest and tell, talk about what I'm not doing.
Guest:I'm a prude.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, no, that probably about by the time I was about 35.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was just more like, OK, you know, this is who I am, really.
Guest:Oh, I see.
Guest:I'm like a southern prude.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know, I was pretty selective.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Well, that's interesting at the beginning, because, I mean, I think don't we don't every I mean, I don't talk about sex at all anymore, but I certainly went through periods where I did.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, a lot when I was having it more often.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I think I hear a lot of people still talk about sex.
Guest:Yeah, no, I think a lot of people do.
Guest:I stopped pretending.
Guest:I was talking about things that I wasn't really doing.
Guest:I was acting like I was having more sex than I was.
Guest:Or that I was some sort of a whore.
Guest:Because I thought that's what... Oh, you did the whore angle.
Guest:I went the whore angle.
Guest:Yeah, for a couple years.
Guest:And then slowly got out of it because it just...
Guest:I always felt like I was lying and it wasn't landing, probably because I knew I was lying.
Guest:And then when I started talking about it more realistically, about real stories, yeah, than people.
Guest:It's amazing how it takes you so long to realize that honesty is what makes people laugh.
Guest:But I really want to go out and do stand-up when I have new stuff to talk about, when I have something on my mind.
Marc:Yeah, well, you've got to wait for that.
Marc:And that's why having...
Marc:a life with people in it, your odds of getting new stuff to talk about are a little higher than, there's only so many cat angles I can take.
Guest:Especially with a little person in your life.
Marc:You have a midget in your life?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:I'm sorry.
Guest:Well, I keep him around to make my son feel tall.
Guest:Yesterday at Disneyland, I said, you know, what do you want to see?
Guest:And he's like, I want to see the castle because I want to meet the boss.
Guest:That made me laugh.
Guest:And then when we were getting on the Star Wars ride, he looked at the lady next to us and he goes, Mommy, that lady has giant boobs.
Guest:And I said, oh, God.
Marc:And what did the lady do?
Guest:She just turned around and, like, went somewhere else.
Guest:And then... But, I mean, she did.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So it's not like... Don't people, like... He wasn't lying.
Marc:I know, but people aren't triggered by children, are they?
Marc:I mean, that's what children do.
Guest:I don't think so, but it was still very embarrassing for me.
Guest:And then you have to stop and go, like, well, why was that embarrassing for me?
Guest:Like, shouldn't have been embarrassing for me.
Guest:I've taught him to be honest.
Marc:Right.
Guest:To tell me how he's feeling and to use his words.
Marc:Right.
Marc:But now you've got to reel him in a little bit.
Guest:Now you've got to reel him in.
Guest:He's very obsessed with private parts right now.
Guest:That's not going to go away.
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:No, I mean, you're born with your favorite toy.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:So you're going to be playing with it for the rest of your life.
Guest:I've come to that conclusion.
Marc:You've just got to tell him that there's a time and place.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Apparently when I was a child around that age, my aunt took me to the supermarket and I saw an old Asian lady.
Marc:And I said, is that lady human?
No.
Marc:I was always funny.
Marc:But it's weird to look back and realize just how unwoke I was at three.
Guest:So wait, where did you grow up?
Guest:Calhoun, Georgia.
Marc:Where's that near?
Guest:It's an hour north of Atlanta, between Atlanta and Chattanooga.
Marc:Where is it in relation to Savannah?
Guest:It's way north.
Guest:Savannah's on the coast, on the bottom of the state near Florida.
Marc:And that was the whole childhood there?
Guest:I was born in Northern California.
Marc:Really?
Guest:I was born in Livermore, California.
Marc:That's like East Bay?
Guest:Yeah, East Bay.
Guest:So I still have a bunch of family up there.
Guest:My mom's whole side is up there.
Guest:My dad went to San Jose State, but he's from Michigan.
Guest:So he was kind of born and raised in Michigan.
Marc:Why was he running around about?
Marc:Why was he in so many places?
Guest:Right.
Guest:He was dodging the draft.
Marc:Oh, he was?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Did he succeed?
Guest:Yep.
Guest:But my uncle went in, his brother.
Guest:My uncle's now a two-star general.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:He's still in the game?
Guest:Well, he recently retired two-star general.
Guest:Now he just plays golf.
Guest:A two-star general?
Marc:Do you sense there's any resentment on his part about the other stars that he could have had?
Guest:Well, because he was offered the three-star job in the state.
Guest:So it's basically after two stars, you either go into politics or you retire.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Guest:And he just didn't want to go into politics, so he retired.
Marc:But he's probably all set, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, he was the commander of the base in Rhode Island called Quonset on the base.
Guest:And so he ran that base and then was offered the two-star job for the state of Rhode Island and then turned it down and retired.
Marc:It's very interesting.
Guest:He lives on the water and—
Marc:Oh, he hangs out on the water?
Guest:He has a beautiful house in Newport on the water.
Guest:Oh, that's fancy.
Guest:It's like, yeah.
Marc:Yeah, it's beautiful.
Marc:It's so funny, though, because my brain automatically, like when you set that up, like your dad dodged a draft, but then you go, but his brother went.
Marc:I'm like, no, here comes this.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:No, no, he didn't die.
Marc:One of the rare sort of like didn't die, didn't come back fucked up.
Marc:No.
Marc:Became a general.
Marc:Stayed in for the Army.
Guest:Air Force.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, that's even, you know, well, that's kind of... Fancier.
Guest:Yeah, it's not as rugged.
Guest:You know, he flew the planes in Vietnam.
Guest:He flew a lot of the weather tracking planes.
Marc:Oh, weather tracking.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I like that.
Marc:So that's like, well, that's not too bad.
Guest:It's not too scary.
Guest:But, you know, I mean, he didn't... He wasn't... I don't think he...
Guest:I don't know how much actual combat he was a part of.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Because after Vietnam, he flew for Eastern Airlines for a long time.
Marc:Commercial pilot?
Guest:Yeah, became a commercial pilot.
Marc:Oh, well, that's where he got the nice retirement bundle, I bet.
Guest:No, but then Eastern went bankrupt in the early 80s.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And he went back into the military.
Okay.
Guest:And then he was, yeah, then he stayed in the Air Force and went into the Air National Guard.
Marc:You can just do that if you're of a certain rank?
Marc:Like, can I come back?
Guest:You always have to do, you always have to, I think, for your military pension stay, do like Air National Guard stuff on the weekends, like one weekend a month.
Marc:Oh, interesting.
Guest:So a lot of guys stayed in it, you know, for flight hours.
Marc:My dad was only in it for two years, but I don't think he's getting pension, but he gets to VA forever.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, that's great.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, what made me, what always made me laugh is because I've done shows for the military overseas, probably 13 tours overseas.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But state, like CONUS, continental United States, I've probably done like six or seven.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But when you go overseas as a comedian, they have to give you a rank.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They give you a civilian rank so that you can get on certain planes and you can stay in certain housing on the base.
Marc:What's that, like a laminate?
Guest:You get a laminated car that says you are ranked.
Guest:No, it just they give you like a paperwork rank.
Guest:It says on your paperwork, you're a GS-14 civilian, which is a full bird colonel.
Guest:And at the time, my uncle was a full bird colonel.
Guest:And so he would get so mad that I would get to stay in the exact same housing as he did and have all the same choices and options that he did after, you know, he went to Vietnam and I told Dick Joseph.
Marc:But that's for a week.
Marc:You can't at the end of your gig go like, do you mind if I just hang out?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, I can't do that.
Guest:I don't know how long you get the rank for.
Guest:But, you know, by being around the brass so much, you know, and as someone that was genuinely fascinated by, you know, Desert Storm and all those conflicts, it was kind of nice to be able to ask a lot of questions to the brass as a civilian because that is also important.
Marc:What, you mean when you were there?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But couldn't you have just asked your uncle?
Guest:Yeah, I could have asked him.
Guest:And, you know, he... Like, what kind of questions?
Marc:About morale, about purpose, about... Yeah, just like, what's that for?
Marc:How much does that cost?
Marc:Why are we taking oil there?
Guest:You know, like... And, you know, I asked a lot of questions about the oil because that was also a big question.
Guest:And I think you assume when you go over there, like, oh, they're just watching Fox News on the TV.
Guest:But they would have... They had, you know, Jon Stewart Daily Show on constantly on, like, the cafeteria televisions.
Guest:And so...
Marc:Oh, that's funny.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Well, I mean, I imagine you can't really, you know, ask the general, like, there's no WMDs, right?
Marc:It's all bullshit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I know.
Guest:But I remember, well, the first time I was there, Saddam Hussein was still alive.
Guest:We had just captured him.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so I kept asking where he was.
Marc:Found him in the hole.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:With all, with American money.
Guest:Sure.
Marc:That was just so crazy after all the buildup of who that guy was and his kids were killed in the palaces.
Marc:He's just like this bearded weirdo in a fucking hole.
Marc:It's pretty intense.
Guest:Dirty, too, because he had made all those rules.
Marc:And then they just—they hung him, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:They just hung him in some, like, weird garage.
Marc:I remember it just—
Marc:That was fucking gnarly time.
Marc:It was a gnarly time.
Guest:Because it was also, yeah, because there was so much bombing at that particular tour.
Guest:That was my very first one.
Marc:When you went over there?
Guest:Yeah, 2005.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:So you felt like you could feel that you were in a dangerous situation?
Guest:Oh, constantly.
Guest:Because we were still doing convoys back then, which they don't even allow.
Marc:Yeah, and you could have just been taken out by an RPG, right?
Guest:Oh, for sure.
Marc:Is that the right initials?
Marc:Yeah, RPG.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:When we were flying, you had to fly in Blackhawks 2x2.
Marc:That must have been cool.
Guest:So awesome.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, as somebody that just like grew up idolizing my uncle, just being like, oh, I'm on Blackhawks and flying in all these.
Marc:So did you like trucks?
Guest:I did like trucks.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I liked your truck.
Marc:You're a southern truck girl.
Guest:I was into trucks.
Guest:My dad had a, you know, a three on the tree.
Guest:So that's how I learned to drive.
Marc:I learned on a standard, too.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I didn't see any.
Marc:My dad was not a good touch.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But I didn't see any point to like an automatic just didn't seem to, you know, require anything.
Marc:I'm like, if I'm going to learn how to drive.
Marc:And I had to drive a stick on a shoot recently.
Guest:No.
Guest:Did you remember?
Marc:Was it like just muscle memory?
Guest:No, I could do it.
Marc:But it was like this old fucking bug.
Marc:And that's like the clunkiest of, you know, like.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But, yeah, no, I did it.
Marc:I did it.
Marc:There's that, you know, you get in the hang of a clutch.
Marc:It comes back.
Marc:It's muscle memory.
Marc:No grinding, but a lot of accelerating to catch it.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So you're in a combat zone.
Marc:Were there moments where you're like, you know, this is why I got into comedy?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:This is just part of being a comic.
Guest:Well, I mean, a big part of the reason that I wanted to go was because I grew up, you know, in Calhoun and we had recruiters in our lunchroom every day at school in high school.
Guest:And it was kind of the discussion was, would you like to be a factory floor manager or a hero?
Guest:And so that was the pitch.
Guest:Kind of.
Marc:So you want to die or you want to just kind of a job?
Guest:Well, no.
Guest:Do you want to be a hero?
Guest:Which doesn't imply death.
Marc:No, but it's in the spectrum.
Guest:But if you do die, you know.
Marc:You'll die a hero.
Guest:You'll die a hero.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Yeah, and your family will be proud of you if you die this way.
Marc:Depends on how they feel about the war.
Guest:You know, whenever they say that, like, you know, there wasn't, you know, a draft for the Gulf Wars, I always feel like there kind of was.
Marc:Did you know a lot of people that went?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So we, the brigade from Calhoun was stationed in Baghdad.
Guest:And so a big part of the reason that I wanted to go out there was just to see them and to like see the guys from my hometown and just be like, hi, please.
Marc:Guys you knew in high school?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Did that happen?
Guest:So we were scheduled to do a show.
Guest:I found out where they were stationed.
Guest:We were in the green zone.
Guest:We were supposed to do a show there.
Guest:And then they got bombed that day.
Guest:And the road that we were supposed to drive on in the convoy got bombed that day.
Guest:And they said we couldn't go.
Guest:And I found out weeks later that they had ordered all this barbecue for me and for the whole group of comics that was coming out.
Guest:And then they just put on a Chris Rock DVD at the end instead.
Marc:Ate the barbecue.
Guest:barbecue yeah well who was on that like who were the comics that you were usually you did five tours i did a bunch the only one you i mean i was danny bevins i don't know if you knew danny john bazar dave mishevitz and me it was just the four of us that first one that was the very first one i don't know any of those guys yeah keith alberstadt you did some a bunch with me was that i feel like i know the name danny bevins i can't quite yeah he was out here for a while i think he lives in florida now but like
Marc:But was this before it was a thing?
Marc:Because bigger names certainly started going.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:I think Jeff Ross and them had gone.
Guest:They were going with the USO.
Guest:I went with a group called Comics on Duty.
Marc:Is this a ragtag operation?
Guest:They specialize in going to FOBs, Forward Operating Bases.
Marc:Dangerous places.
Guest:Yeah, Ford Operating Base has about 150 people.
Marc:That's so funny.
Marc:So there's two different bookers.
Marc:It's like, we can't get you on the USO tour.
Marc:But we got these one-nighters.
Marc:It's a little dicey.
Marc:The venue's a little dicey.
Guest:Kind of.
Guest:Yeah, a little bit.
Guest:But more just like these are guys that never get comedy.
Guest:The big bases where the USO would go always got comedy.
Marc:Right.
Marc:So it actually is like a one-nighter in that the conditions are going to be different.
Guest:Conditions are a lot different.
Guest:Where they would build a stage and tear it down when we left.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And it's not like you're not in any sort of constructed theater.
Marc:You could just be...
Marc:Out sort of to the side of the base or in a mess hall or what?
Guest:Oh, no.
Guest:No.
Guest:You are a forward operating base.
Guest:So there's a giant base, which would be BIOP, like Baghdad International Airport.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:Right?
Guest:So that's where all the big... There's like 30,000 people in that base.
Guest:And then that base supplies the FOBs.
Guest:And those FOBs are like hundreds of bases all around the country.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And they supply the patrol base, which is 10 guys on a patrol.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So, and those guys report back to the FOB and the FOB just like keeps all those guys armed.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And they keep them going.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then the main base is like, you know, obviously that's a lot of times where the planes take off and like people will come back for like, you know, huge supplies.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But it's really the biggest supply base.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know, so it's basically the U.S.
Guest:You know, it's like the UPS, the Amazon distribution center.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And then you have all these tiny distributions.
Marc:So you're doing shows for like sometimes 20 guys kind of thing?
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Oh, wild.
Guest:And they were like dirty with their face, you know, and like we would be on bases where there was no bathrooms.
Guest:They just had pee tubes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then we had to use wag bags because.
Marc:It's a wag bag.
Guest:It stands for waste alleviation.
Marc:Got it.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Well, so that's pretty gritty.
Guest:Very gritty.
Guest:So that's why you would take the Blackhawks to those small bases.
Guest:That was the only way to get there.
Guest:Or you'd have to go through a convoy system.
Marc:That's crazy.
Marc:So you felt, you must have felt scared at some point.
Guest:Yeah, because when we were flying to one of the bases, so when we were on biop, my point was that I kept asking where Saddam was, and they'd be like, we can't tell you that.
Guest:And then one guy was like, you know, he just kind of nudged to the right, like it's in that building.
Guest:And so when we were flying to one of the, we had just left Diwaniya.
Marc:Where you were?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He was in a someplace near.
Marc:It's a heavy vibe, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, we were in Diwenia once, which is, you know, where they would, you know, took us to Abraham's house from the Bible.
Guest:Because, you know, the middle of Baghdad, that's, I mean, the middle of Iraq, where the Tigris and the Euphrates meet, that's the Garden of Eden, right?
Guest:That's where the early biblical times were all there.
Marc:Were you brought up with a lot of religion?
Yeah.
Guest:I was not brought up with religion.
Marc:Oh, so it didn't really, you weren't like, oh my God.
Guest:I started going to church.
Guest:I tell a joke about it now, but I got kicked out of church several times around 13 because that was the first time I ever went.
Guest:My parents never told me what religion they were.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:They wanted me to decide who I was going to be for myself.
Marc:Well, that seems fairly progressive.
Guest:Yep.
Guest:Very progressive.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I think it's because they disagreed and they didn't want to.
Marc:On what?
Marc:On what?
Guest:On religion and politics.
Guest:They still do.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Like what's what?
Guest:My mom is more liberal.
Guest:My dad is much more conservative.
Guest:My mom listens to like comedy podcasts all day.
Guest:And my dad watches Fox News.
Marc:Oh my God.
Marc:So he's like just volunteering his brain for that mess.
Guest:Yep.
Guest:Mm hmm.
Guest:So, you know, I think they're still married.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Fifty something years.
Guest:Mm hmm.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:My dad stays in his room.
Guest:He has a little man cave.
Guest:He watches all his stuff in there.
Guest:And my mom is in the living room or her sewing room.
Marc:Do they talk?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Just not about that.
Guest:Nope.
Guest:Just not about that.
Marc:So wait, so were you getting at like, did you feel like danger?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So when we were flying to one of the, uh, one of the shows in a Black Hawk, um, the flares went off, you know, and we were with this guy, major hater and everybody called him major hated.
Guest:And he goes, what was that?
Guest:And we were like, you're in charge, dude.
Guest:Like, I don't know.
Guest:And it was cause we had radar lock on us from a RPG.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So the flares took the RPG instead.
Marc:Oh my God.
Marc:And then you went back like a bunch of other times.
Guest:Yep.
Guest:Kept going.
Marc:You felt it was.
Marc:Why?
Marc:Because you got off on it.
Marc:You felt it was your duty or you wanted to.
Marc:Was it an altruistic thing?
Guest:I felt very rewarded.
Guest:I feel like in comedy, you know, you get instant gratification when you get laughs.
Guest:But for me, I guess I just wanted it to mean more.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:In some respects.
Guest:And when you do, you know, if I have a bad show at the comedy store, I'm like, whatever.
Guest:I don't care.
Guest:I'm never going to see those people again.
Guest:If you have a bad show at a FOB in Iraq, you're like, I just ruined that guy.
Guest:Like, he was already having a bad week.
Marc:And I just tanked.
Guest:I just tanked in front of a guy that just needed it.
Marc:You know, needed to see something.
Marc:I guess when you're doing those shows, you can't really sort of turn on the audience.
Marc:It's like, what the fuck?
Guest:Yeah, what's your problem?
Marc:Where are you from?
Yeah.
Guest:But also it's a great challenge because you can't just do regular material.
Guest:You know, once you start doing material, you try to write material about them or you've got to figure out, oh, what material will work best for this situation?
Guest:Because you can't be talking about, you know, how you're freezing and air conditioning in front of a bunch of guys that haven't had air conditioning.
Marc:What's with these waste bags?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:And you wave it.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:It's like billionaires doing comedy at a homeless shelter.
Guest:You're like, all right, I don't think we have the same...
Marc:How many years had you been in it when you started doing that?
Guest:Oh, not very many.
Guest:Three years.
Marc:So you're in Georgia.
Marc:And how do you decide to do comedy?
Marc:I mean, were you... What happened?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You sound like my dad.
Guest:What happened?
Guest:I actually thought I was going to go into journalism.
Guest:That sounds like something.
Guest:We had CNN in Atlanta, so I thought I was going to do that.
Marc:Oh, right there.
Marc:Big complex.
Guest:When I started at UGA, I started in their journalism school, and then I found out that you had to write the news, and then it had to be serious.
Marc:You just thought you were going to be on camera talking?
Guest:I thought I was just going to read off a teleprompter.
Guest:I had no idea how news worked.
Marc:So you didn't really want to be in journalism.
Marc:You just wanted to be in broadcast personality.
Guest:Yes, I really just wanted to read.
Guest:And then when I moved, transferred to Georgia State, I was performing in Atlanta at theme parks at Six Flags.
Guest:What?
Guest:I know.
Guest:It was a whole thing.
Guest:So I didn't have a social life.
Marc:What were you doing performing?
Marc:What do you mean performing?
Guest:I was in the kids performing shows.
Marc:So like acting?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:So I kind of grew up in theater, basically.
Guest:I stopped playing sports about eighth grade and I just got into theater.
Guest:That's also why I started going to church because I could do a play there at Christmas.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You'd have no problem with shit gigs.
Marc:No.
Marc:Hell gigs.
Marc:No.
Guest:And so, but then, so anyway, I'm performing at Six Flags, transferred to Georgia State.
Guest:And then that school, I started doing Album 88, which was their college radio station.
Guest:And the college radio station, Album 88 in Atlanta, was the largest student-run college radio station in the country.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:100,000 watts.
Marc:You're on air.
Guest:I'm on air.
Guest:And so I initially started out doing the news because I was doing journalism.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And that's where they're like, you can't make jokes.
Guest:And I mean, this is during the Clinton scandal.
Guest:Right.
Guest:This is like the Monica Lewinsky blowjob stuff.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And they go, you can't make jokes if the news is serious.
Guest:And I was like, well, that's boy.
Guest:I don't want to do that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They go, you can do the entertainment news if you want.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then you can make all the jokes you want there.
Guest:And I go, perfect.
Guest:Perfect.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So then I started doing entertainment news and then my advisor said, well, you could be a film major instead.
Guest:And then you could really learn about the entertainment business.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Through that.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And if you do that, you can minor in theater.
Guest:And that's what you did.
Guest:And that's what I did.
Guest:So I switched it all to minor in theater and film.
Marc:Was film was a film major like how to make films or like film history stuff?
Guest:Both.
Guest:It was film history, documentary films.
Guest:I made a documentary film in college.
Guest:I had to make several student films on, oh, gosh.
Guest:How did those hold up?
Guest:There were these old World War II cameras.
Guest:Oh, terrible.
Guest:One of them was backwards because I loaded the film wrong.
Guest:You had to load it in the dark, and you ordered film from Burbank out here.
Marc:Oh, yeah, like the film days.
Guest:Yeah, like hardcore film.
Guest:There were these old bell and howl.
Marc:You had to edit on those machines?
Guest:Oh, where you cut it.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And you had to hang it all up on a string.
Guest:Wow.
Marc:God, you learned all this useless knowledge now.
Guest:Yeah, completely useless.
Guest:So I studied theater abroad in Paris my senior year.
Marc:Really?
Guest:I studied at the Comedy de l'Art in Paris.
Marc:What did you learn?
Marc:Clowning?
Yes.
Guest:You did?
Guest:I did.
Guest:I learned the art of clowning.
Guest:You did?
Guest:No, I did not.
Guest:No, we just watched a lot and a lot of plays.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:Went to a lot of... Did you speak French?
Guest:No, I mean, I learned French out there a little bit, but I didn't retain much.
Marc:What's your old man do?
Guest:My dad?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He worked for Pepperidge Farm most of his life.
Marc:Pepperidge Farm?
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Marc:Like goldfish?
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Guest:And cookies.
Guest:Yep.
Marc:Milanos?
Guest:Yep.
Guest:Keep naming them.
Guest:I know them all.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Sausalitos.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, it was.
Marc:What was the one that wasn't that great that had the real thin wafers with the chocolate?
Marc:The Brussels?
Marc:Yeah, the Brussels.
Guest:I love the Brussels.
Marc:They're all right.
Guest:I like the orange Milanos.
Guest:Everybody liked the mint ones.
Guest:And I was like, what?
Guest:That's so great.
Guest:I still hate mint chocolate.
Marc:I like the regular Milanos.
Marc:And you dip them in milk.
Marc:And then the chocolate would stay hard.
Marc:And the outside would get mushy.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:That's why I was voted biggest brown noser in school because I always brought cookies for the teachers because they would ask for them.
Guest:And my dad had the truck at home.
Guest:He started out as like a sales manager.
Guest:He was gone Sunday through Thursday.
Guest:And then pushing cookies.
Guest:Yeah, I guess like he was managing all of the route drivers.
Guest:The cookie swinger.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And, you know, and then we were looking at these like mansions in Atlanta one day.
Guest:And the next thing I knew, we were poor.
Guest:And I was like, what is going on?
Guest:And my dad quit so that he could drive a truck.
Guest:He bought a route.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So he could stay home and coach my softball team and stuff.
Marc:Oh, so he became an independent contract trucker?
Guest:Basically, so he bought the cookies from Pepperidge Farm and sold them to the grocery stores.
Marc:Oh.
Guest:He became his own distributor.
Guest:So he had managed all those routes.
Marc:So he's no longer an employee of Pepperidge Farms?
Marc:Correct.
Guest:He bought like a franchise basically.
Marc:Oh, I didn't know they did that.
Marc:That's how that works.
Guest:So it took years for him to pay that off.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:The truck?
Guest:Yeah, the truck and the business itself because you have to buy the route from another person.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:I had no idea that they had franchise routes.
Guest:Yeah, when you see like those like Frito-Lay trucks.
Marc:So that was probably something where Pepperidge Farms realized like, you know, we don't have to own these trucks anymore.
Marc:We can just contract out this stuff.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Must have been.
Guest:I don't know when that happened, but that's what he did.
Marc:And your mom, what did she do?
Guest:She worked at a plant.
Guest:She was like an office manager at a plant.
Guest:A plant?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:A general plant?
Guest:Initially, we moved to Georgia because my mom worked for a company in Livermore or in Hayward, I remember where, called Needlecraft.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it was all the company that would give you a design to do needlepoint or yarn.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Art.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And they offered her a job in Dalton, Georgia, which was just north of Calhoun.
Marc:You know, you realize that somewhere that has to get made.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But then like when you realize there's a plant, you're like, man, more people were doing that than I thought.
Yeah.
Guest:But then she ended up retiring with a company called Henkel.
Marc:Henkel?
Guest:Henkel, which was, you know, they make the knives and stuff, but her particular company.
Marc:Henkel knives?
Guest:Henkel, yes.
Guest:Yeah, okay.
Guest:And so her particular company made all the chemicals that go on metal to treat metal to keep it from rusting.
Marc:So specific.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I bet someone's got to do it.
Guest:And they supplied the Mercedes Benz plant in Cartersville or someplace.
Marc:So that was a big deal.
Marc:It was a big deal.
Marc:The knives were not keeping it going.
Guest:So she just retired maybe five, six years ago.
Marc:So it's interesting that you actually had parents where there would be take-home stuff, like cookies, needlepoint patterns.
Guest:And chemicals.
Marc:And non-rusty chemicals.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, it was...
Marc:So that's interesting.
Marc:So it's not not military, just kind of like working people.
Marc:Both of them worked.
Marc:And you're running around doing theater.
Guest:They always came to my plays.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:My dad.
Guest:Actually, my dad's a really incredible carpenter.
Guest:He could he because he took, you know, those classes and he can just look at something and build it.
Guest:So when I was.
Guest:in art classes i said oh i want an art desk and he goes well show me a picture one that you want and then i would show him a picture and then he'd build it in a week you know so he built all the sets for my plays and my mom made all the costumes that's so sweet this is like it's not it's not a gothic southern tale it's a very pleasant they were very involved they're like very loving and caring and you would never expect me to get into comedy because i didn't really have a lot to complain about
Guest:I make them sound.
Marc:But you had the freedom of mind to make a choice.
Guest:Could do whatever I wanted.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And so when I said I want to move to L.A.
Guest:and be an actress, they said, all right, we'll give you directions.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And also we have this old uncle.
Guest:Yeah, but also, like, I was born there, so it's not like some sort of foreign place.
Guest:I mean, Huntington Beach is not exactly L.A., but I did have a place to stay while I looked for a place.
Marc:Yeah, it's kind of weird, though, when you, because the first time I came to L.A.
Marc:was after college, and, you know, you find that place or whatever, but then you realize, you walk outside, and you're like, what am I doing?
What am I doing?
Marc:Where am I?
Marc:How does this even work?
Marc:Where's the place where I go?
Marc:It's the fucking worst.
Guest:It was pretty intense because I lived in Sherman Oaks.
Guest:That was the very first place I lived, a little apartment in Sherman Oaks.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, with like three other people.
Guest:When was that?
Guest:2001.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Because you get out here and it's just like, you know, how do you even begin?
Marc:I kind of buckled.
Marc:I didn't I couldn't pull it together the first time I ended up living at the comedy store.
Marc:And really?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Like living and you are the ones that you use the showers in the main room.
Marc:No, that was Don Barris, I think.
Marc:No, I lived in Cresthill.
Marc:I lived in the house that she owned.
Marc:Oh, mm-hmm.
Marc:And I was a door guy and a phone guy and drove guys to the airport.
Marc:I was always there.
Guest:I wasn't allowed to work at the door at the time.
Marc:Who was there?
Marc:Was it Tommy?
Guest:Tommy was there when I started.
Guest:And I wasn't allowed to work the door because they said only men could work the door.
Marc:That's because it was so dumb.
Marc:It's so better now with actual security.
Marc:Oh, for sure.
Guest:You guys had to...
Guest:throw people out.
Marc:You're like, we didn't though.
Marc:It was sort of like, you're going to bet a bunch of comics.
Marc:You're going to be security.
Marc:It was ridiculous.
Marc:It was crazy.
Guest:That all came from Argus beating, or from, um, uh, gosh, uh, Sam, Sam being up Argus.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then Mitzi was like, only men can work the door.
Marc:Oh really?
Marc:I didn't even know that little chunk of history.
Guest:Yeah.
Um,
Guest:And then only women, women.
Marc:Sam, the story is that Argus was attacking Mitzi.
Guest:Yes, they were both a little high on low.
Marc:Yeah, and Sam pulled him off and beat him up.
Marc:Beat him up.
Marc:And that got Sam the management job in Westwood.
Guest:Did it really?
Marc:I think so.
Guest:I didn't know that part.
Marc:I believe that that guy, you know, Sam was this weirdo that, you know, used to go on last.
Marc:And I think that that heroic turn, she stuck him out in Westwood and he was the guy out there.
Guest:Oh, wow.
Guest:Amazing.
Guest:But then I also couldn't be a waitress because Sammy had cheated on Mitzi with a blonde waitress that did comedy.
Guest:So I couldn't be a waitress and do comedy because I was also blonde.
Marc:And who's telling you this, Tommy?
Guest:That's why Eleanor was allowed.
Guest:You know, it wasn't just Tommy.
Marc:It just came down through the mythology.
Guest:You know, I started at the Comedy Store in 2000, and I started going there.
Guest:I didn't start stand-up until 2003, two years after I moved to LA.
Marc:So that's sort of the dark times there.
Guest:Really dark times.
Marc:But, okay, so you come out to be an actress.
Marc:How does that pan out?
Guest:I couldn't catch a cold.
Guest:I mean, I couldn't do anything.
Marc:Did you get your pictures and everything?
Guest:I did.
Guest:Oh, gosh, yes.
Guest:Well, I got some headshots in Atlanta.
Guest:Wait, I'll send you a picture of the headshot I took in Atlanta because it looks like tonight's top story.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I, yeah, so I moved out to be an actress.
Guest:I started doing extra work to get my SAG card.
Guest:That's where I was on September 11th.
Guest:I was on a show with Selma.
Guest:Hayek?
Guest:No.
Marc:Blair?
Guest:Ceele Ward.
Marc:Oh, Ceele Ward.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Ceele Ward, called Once and Again, I think.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:At this little high school on, like, I think it was Fair, Robertson and the Ten.
Marc:They were shooting at the high school?
Guest:We were shooting at the high school.
Marc:When the planes hit the building?
Guest:Well, I just was driving there, and I heard somebody on the radio say we were under attack.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But it was the guy that died, Rush Limbaugh.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Guest:The guy that died.
Guest:You know the guy that died.
Marc:Sure, sure.
Marc:I have a few other ways I could describe him.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Marc:The death, drug addict blowhard.
Guest:Yeah, because he was like, we're under attack.
Marc:I was like, we're probably not.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:He always thought we were under attack.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Guest:So I'm like, with what this time?
Guest:And so, but then when I got to set, that's when it all, then they sent us all home.
Guest:And I remember driving back through downtown LA and there was no one there.
Marc:Wow.
Guest:It was so eerie driving the.
Marc:I was in New York.
Marc:Oh, you were?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It was insane that day.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:Obviously.
Guest:I mean, just insane.
Guest:So anyway.
Marc:And that's when you decided to be a comic?
Marc:Yes.
Guest:I was like, there's so much more funny stuff to talk about.
Guest:Now I have material.
Guest:This is the first thing I'm going to start with.
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:But I started to stand up on a dare because I was DJing weddings and bar mitzvahs because I had worked in radio in Atlanta.
Marc:How'd you get into that racket?
Marc:You met somebody as an extra who pulled you in?
Guest:I was an ad in the newspaper, Backstage West, looking for wedding DJs and prom DJs.
Marc:Oh, like a booking agency.
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:And they, so they, you know, I did like high school dances and all this stuff or weddings, you know, would teach the electric slides, stuff like that.
Guest:And this guy that I was DJing with, this guy Poetry, who did Russell Simmons' Deaf Poetry Jam.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Kept saying like, you're so funny, you're so funny.
Guest:And I'd never heard that.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Guest:I mean, I was always making fun of people growing up, but in the South, people would be laughing, but they'd be like, that's not funny.
Guest:Right.
Guest:That's not funny.
Guest:And I had interviewed several stand-ups that had come through the punchline on the radio station.
Guest:In fact, Mitch Hedberg was the first person to ever give me tickets to a show.
Guest:And people always said, oh, is that when you started comedy?
Marc:But not a great interview, I would imagine.
Guest:It was actually a great interview.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:He was engaged?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:He was so engaged.
Marc:Oh, good.
Guest:Gave us tickets to the show.
Guest:And people say, you know, is that why you started?
Guest:And I go, well, you don't see Mitch Hedberg and go, oh, I can do that.
Guest:Like, I was just like, I have no idea.
Guest:A lot of people did, actually.
Marc:Well, there's a lot of Hedbergs running around for a couple of years.
Guest:Yeah, I'm sure.
Guest:But I just didn't think about it.
Guest:And then my friend Poetry kept telling me to do it and wouldn't let up.
Guest:And I saw an ad.
Guest:I remember being in my studio apartment on Laurel Canyon in Burbank.
Guest:Mm-hmm.
Guest:Seeing a news story about a guy who shot himself in the head with a nail gun and he didn't feel, he worked all day, didn't notice.
Marc:It was just stuck in there.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I wrote this joke about how I wouldn't be able to feel three and a half inches if I got nailed.
Guest:So what's the big deal?
Guest:And that was the first joke I had.
Marc:That was dirty, Sarah.
Guest:You're my target audience.
Guest:And I did this show at the Hotwire, a little open mic at the Hotwire Cafe on Laurel Canyon in Riverside.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Nick Yousef ran it.
Marc:He's a sweet guy.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And I mean, before he was 21, he was probably 20 years old.
Guest:I was 24, 25.
Guest:And it got a laugh.
Guest:And then I was kind of hooked.
Guest:And then it took me months to write another one.
Guest:Did it?
Guest:To write another good one that got laughs.
Guest:But I was hooked.
Guest:And I had just gone through a breakup.
Guest:So I was really needing to get out and do something.
Guest:It was just, you know, perfect timing.
Marc:There's a community.
Guest:Never stopped.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Instant family.
Marc:That's how it happens.
Marc:You're like, that's the best thing that could happen.
Marc:And I think like when you started, it was more possible, you know, because when I was doing it, there was no, none of those kind of shows where comics just ran.
Marc:Well, they were at the club.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:It was the comedy club had the open mic on Sunday or Monday or whatever it was.
Marc:And there was a community, but it was all sort of the club based.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:There was no kind of room you could just go to.
Guest:That's crazy.
Marc:To do comedy.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know, and by the time you started, they were all over the place and they still are kind of.
Marc:But that didn't exist.
Marc:Like if you wanted to be a stand up, you had to go fucking ingratiate yourself to whatever club in the towns you were working at.
Marc:But but so when you were in you, did you go the punchline a lot?
Guest:Not a lot.
Guest:No, I wasn't.
Guest:I didn't really care, but I never watched stand up growing up.
Guest:I never watched.
Guest:My parents didn't watch.
Guest:I remember seeing Roseanne and Paula Poundstone and Ellen a lot because my mom loved them.
Marc:Live, you mean?
Marc:Or just on TV?
Marc:No, just on TV.
Guest:But, you know, when I started stand up or when my friend poetry told me to start stand up, I said, oh, I can't do stand up.
Guest:I don't have a sitcom.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I thought you had a sitcom first and then you could do stand up.
Marc:What's poetry up to?
Guest:No idea.
Marc:I wonder if he maybe changed his name back.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I hope he's still doing poetry.
Guest:He was very good at it.
Marc:That was a whole thing for a minute, the poetry slam.
Guest:The slam poets.
Guest:He was on that first tour with Russell Simmons.
Marc:It was kind of engaging.
Marc:I like watching it.
Guest:He was the funny one.
Guest:He had a funny one about Michael Jackson, I remember.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
Guest:And then, I mean, stand-up just became this thing that I thought would be a fun hobby.
Guest:But then I gave up on L.A.
Guest:I thought I was going to move home.
Guest:I had my bags packed.
Marc:How was that day?
Marc:What happened?
Guest:I was just so frustrated.
Guest:Just couldn't get anywhere.
Guest:Depressed.
Guest:Yeah, it was right, you know, that between two and three year mark in Los Angeles.
Marc:Couldn't make a break.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I packed my bags.
Marc:What were you doing for a day job?
Guest:I think I was still doing extra work and then the DJing.
Guest:And then my mom, you know, I said I was going to move to Wilmington, North Carolina because they shot Dawson's Creek there.
Guest:I wasn't going to move home.
Guest:That was quitting.
Guest:But I would move to, you know, Wilmington, North Carolina.
Marc:Did you work just to hang around the set at Dawson's Creek?
Guest:I just thought that that's what I would do instead.
Marc:There's show business there.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And I had just been doing stand-up for a little while.
Guest:Wasn't like really thinking this is what I'm going to do for my life.
Guest:And I was tired from packing and I went to the Sherman Oaks Galleria to watch a movie.
Guest:But the movie I wanted to watch wasn't playing.
Marc:Oh.
Guest:shit is not working out but Jerry Seinfeld's movie Comedian was playing and I said oh I've done some stand up I'll go watch this right and everyone was laughing and I was crying and I went home and I unpacked and I said I'm gonna stay and I'm gonna give it a shot and I started going to open mics every day just like you know you're locked in I locked in and then everyone was like don't go to the comedy store because they hate women and I thought well you shouldn't have told me that now I'm only gonna go to the comedy store yeah
Marc:And after all, like, imagine you actually, now you get to see Orny Adams occasionally.
Guest:I do.
Guest:My hero.
Guest:No.
Guest:I've never told him that story.
Guest:And if I did, he would probably be so mad.
Guest:You'd never hear the end of it.
Guest:Yeah, he'd never talk to me again.
Marc:No, that's all right.
Marc:Believe me, he can take it.
Guest:Which wouldn't be terrible.
Marc:He's all right.
Marc:I interviewed him.
Guest:I mean, just Barry Katz in that movie.
Marc:Oh, Barry Katz.
Marc:Did you get to meet Barry Katz?
Marc:Oh, yes.
Marc:Yeah, you've really lived it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, the very first time I ever talked to him, I told him that he did everything wrong and that he didn't focus on strengths.
Guest:He just tried to make people famous instead of making them funny.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And now where is he?
Guest:He's sending out a newsletter for sure.
Guest:But I just always remember...
Guest:I get his newsletters.
Guest:I remember him saying, you know, oh, hey, George, I heard George signed Orny Adams.
Guest:What's next?
Guest:The parrot from Beretta?
Guest:And I just always laughed at that line.
Marc:You don't have to tell me about Eric Katz.
Marc:He gave me my first jobs.
Marc:He did?
Marc:Yeah, in Boston.
Marc:Yeah, when he was in Boston, he used to run a booking agency and manage people.
Marc:And yeah, he gave me, like, oddly, he's the one who gave me a lot of my initial work when I started doing stand-up.
Yeah.
Guest:I met him—I mean, I've done—I did Jay Moore's radio show a lot because I do so much in sports.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so I met him a lot doing that show.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I really talked to him, and I had more heart-to-hearts.
Guest:Oh, so that was early on.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:No, I mean, this was probably like eight years ago.
Marc:Yeah, you know, I mean, Barry's not without a heart.
Marc:Not a great dresser.
Marc:But—
Marc:He used to have us on when he was doing a podcast.
Marc:When he was doing a podcast, I swear to God, he had me and Burr on at different times, and we just shit on him to his face for an hour, and he loved it.
Marc:He loved it.
Guest:You know, comedy business is not the most fashion-forward business, I would say.
Marc:Believe me, I have an entire career of bad outfit decisions.
Yeah.
Marc:Look at the history of Marin on Conan O'Brien.
Marc:And we can talk about the leather pants decision.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:I really pushed the envelope.
Marc:I've always been a person that sort of if I have to be on TV, I'll go buy something and wear it, something I've never worn before.
Guest:Ever.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And think it's a good idea.
Marc:It was only.
Marc:Why do you do that?
Marc:Because I have three shirts.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:So like the one special, the one before the last one, not the one before the new one, two specials ago, I'm like, I'll just go wear my shitty L.L.
Marc:Beam chamois because I want to be comfortable.
Marc:And it looked terrible.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And then the next special, I bought a vest that I only wore once on that special.
Guest:So you're saying you should not executive produce your own special.
Marc:Well, no, just get a fucking dresser, a wardrobe person.
Guest:You don't have a wardrobe person for those?
Marc:No, I did this last one for Bleak, from Bleak to Dark.
Marc:I finally, after, you know, at age 58.
Marc:I'm like, you know, maybe I should hire someone to fucking dress me for my television show.
Guest:It's amazing how you can be so self-reflective in so many different parts of your life.
Guest:But when it comes to something like that, it's the last thing that I think about.
Guest:The last thing I mean, I think that's maybe that's pretty rare for a woman because I feel like a lot of women definitely think about their clothes first.
Guest:But I I don't think about my clothes first.
Marc:What happens?
Marc:How do you get into the store?
Marc:You just you start going.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I kind of took Chelsea Handler's approach.
Guest:You know, she would just she said, you know, don't just go be funny and leave.
Guest:And eventually they'll ask you to stay.
Guest:And and that's what I did.
Guest:I ran rooms with Jerome Cleary up in the belly room for years.
Guest:I remember that guy.
Guest:So after I—I mean, I went through the open mic phase.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And then you run your—you do a bringer show phase.
Guest:And then I ran out of people to bring.
Guest:At the time, I was working at the Four Seasons.
Marc:In the belly room?
Marc:That's the way it worked?
Marc:No, no, no.
Marc:Just in comedy in general.
Marc:Oh, in general.
Guest:Yeah, okay.
Guest:And I was working at the Four Seasons, which was a great gig because I could wait tables all day.
Guest:I worked the early morning shift.
Guest:I worked there when Sebastian worked there, but he worked at the bar downstairs.
Guest:I know.
Marc:I remember one time I went—
Marc:for a meeting there and he was the waiter and it was that, that horrible, awkward moment.
Marc:Cause I knew him from the store.
Marc:I'm like, Hey man.
Marc:Hey.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And, uh, that's over.
Guest:Who's laughing now.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, uh, yeah.
Guest:So, I mean, I, but I worked at the pool from like seven to three and then I could shower there and go straight out and do comedy.
Guest:And, um, so I had, uh, you know, but I had that gig too.
Guest:We, we got free hotel nights.
Guest:So if I ever did the road, I had free hotels.
Guest:Um,
Guest:Oh, really?
Marc:They had affiliated?
Marc:Oh, yes.
Marc:Any first seasons in the world.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Free nights.
Guest:I mean, you only had so much a year.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But I didn't do the road very much.
Guest:But yeah.
Marc:Came in handy.
Guest:So I was doing the store.
Guest:I mean, then after your bringer shows, you run rooms to trade.
Guest:And so I ran a show at Big Wang's for a long time.
Guest:Then I ran a show at the Lucky Strike Bowling Alley.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:uh, during the last comic standing years, uh, where we would have all the people from last comic go up.
Marc:So you're a real producer.
Guest:The, yeah.
Guest:Then the unknown.
Guest:And then I also ran a show on Friday nights at the comedy store.
Guest:And so that was kind of how I started really meeting people at the comedy store and hanging out and, and getting to know people.
Guest:And then I started, I came to start doing the open mics there and they go, you know, you've been here for years at this point.
Guest:Like you can just do friends and family.
Guest:And I was like,
Guest:really you know no idea and then eventually got passed in 2009 by adam nope by tommy yeah yeah well i mean i showcased for mitzi several times when she was still there yeah yeah i was there with like me damien merlina justin martindale were all around the same class of comics uh that got passed around the same time neil brennan got passed around the same time i the same same time because we got our names put on the same day
Marc:I was, like, I got, like, I have a convoluted tale of getting past there, but, like, I didn't get my name on the wall until 2002 or something.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:How long had you been past there?
Marc:Well, I was in Unpaid Regular when I was a doorman, but then, like, you know, I got fucked up on drugs and I left for years and started my career.
Marc:And then I was doing...
Marc:I think I was working for Comedy Central at the Aspen Comedy Festival in 95 doing sort of like, you know, man with a mic shit.
Marc:And I saw Mitzi and I'm like, Mitzi, do you remember me?
Marc:Can I be a regular?
Marc:And she's like, yeah.
Marc:So I, you know, so I was like, I'm a regular now, but I wasn't even living in L.A.
Marc:And then when I finally got back to L.A.
Marc:in like 2002, like somehow the myth of me preceded me because I had written about the comedy store in a book I wrote.
Marc:And like people kind of associated me with this time with Kenneth and his stuff.
Marc:And oddly, you know, Tommy was like, oh, yeah, you know, you're in and no problem, of course.
Marc:But it was Duncan that finally got my fucking name on the wall.
Guest:Oh, interesting.
Marc:When he was Booker.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And like, you know, he was in charge of like putting the names on the wall.
Marc:And I'm like, can I get my name on the wall?
Guest:He's like, yeah, man.
Yeah.
Marc:sure why not okay yeah that was yeah that's a long long long journey to the wall that is a long journey but I remember coming back here and starting to do spots there and I still was had kind of like PTSD from when I was a you know door guy there and so fucked up and my brain was all fucked up took a while to kind of get comfortable in those rooms really
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:There was something very intimidating about the OR because you couldn't see people.
Marc:Like I remember that's the one thing I and I still don't love that.
Guest:Really?
Marc:When not that room because you can kind of see people now.
Marc:It depends.
Guest:A little bit.
Marc:But I just remember being up there and being like, oh, my God, I'm just floating.
Marc:But like if I have to do a gig where I can't see any of the audience, I make choices.
Marc:You know, like, can I see like two rows, please?
Marc:Because I don't like talking to nothing.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:I do.
Marc:You do?
Guest:Like the laugh factory is really hard for me.
Guest:It's a little too bright.
Marc:Yeah, I never go in there.
Guest:I don't feel like people, I feel like the only reason that I enjoy it is not for my own sake, but I feel like people feel more comfortable laughing in the dark.
Guest:The same way that people feel more comfortable dancing with the lights down.
Marc:Sure.
Guest:They feel less vulnerable that people are watching what they laugh at.
Marc:I always end up locking in on one person.
Marc:It's a lot for them.
Guest:There's a lot.
Guest:See, I never talk to anybody.
Guest:I don't ask them any questions.
Marc:No, I don't ask them.
Marc:For some reason, I just find myself, instead of looking out, I just look at that guy.
Marc:And then eventually, he's like, why are you... Interesting, yeah.
Marc:But I don't talk to him, but I do somehow do that.
Guest:I should probably do that.
Guest:I don't find myself looking at anyone in particular.
Marc:That's good.
Marc:That's better.
Marc:I look over them.
Marc:I do that more now.
Marc:Like, I've been very aware...
Marc:To barely look at the audience.
Marc:Sometimes I'll turn my back and just do stuff.
Guest:I'm still in a phase.
Guest:I'm going through a phase now where I still feel very vulnerable.
Guest:I feel like my reputation amongst the people who work there is higher than I have of myself.
Guest:The opinion they have of me is higher than the opinion I have of myself.
Guest:So I feel this need to impress people.
Guest:Yeah, sure.
Guest:For some reason.
Guest:And I like, oh, I don't have enough good stuff.
Guest:I don't have new stuff.
Guest:Or in somebody in the audience that goes, oh, I'm so excited.
Guest:I came here just to see you.
Guest:I go, oh, great.
Marc:Yeah, I know that feeling.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Now I'm going to disappoint somebody.
Guest:I'm already here.
Guest:I know I'm going to disappoint myself.
Guest:I don't want to disappoint anybody else.
Marc:What are you going to do about that?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I'm hoping to just keep working through it.
Guest:You know, alcohol usually helps.
Marc:Yeah, I don't know.
Marc:I think it just I don't I don't really I have muscles that do that because I used to be that way.
Marc:Sort of like, you know, I'm still weird when people come off stage in the main room like they're great.
Marc:I'm like, no, no.
Marc:I'm going to ruin it.
Guest:Great.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So now they're expecting something.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I still do that.
Guest:Debbie Downer.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I know you just I mean, you you're always just chasing that last high, that last moment of of real, you know, I don't feel that that's what it is for me.
Marc:I feel like, you know, because of my self image.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Like, I assume they're going to feel the same way about me.
Marc:Like, I don't like it.
Marc:I don't feel like I'm chasing a high.
Marc:I just feel like, well, I'm different than the rest of them.
Marc:Like, I do this type of thing that I do.
Marc:I know it's not for everybody.
Marc:And now they've all had, you know, these kind of like, hey, we're just having a good time.
Marc:And I'm like, I'm going to talk about some stuff that it's not it's not I'm not particularly fun oriented.
Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, I mean, yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Marc:Yeah, I mean.
Marc:But it comes and goes.
Guest:I know.
Guest:I mean, you know, I just did this event in Kansas City called The Big Slick, which is this huge charity event for this children's hospital in Kansas City.
Guest:And it's all these superstar celebrities.
Guest:You know, it's like.
Guest:Jason Sudeikis, Paul Rudd, Eric Stonestreet, you know, Riggle, Heidi Gardner, Koechner.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They do this huge event at the T-Mobile Arena in Kansas City.
Guest:And every year I'm like, they're not going to ask me to perform again.
Guest:There's no way they're going to ask me to perform again.
Guest:It was like, I did a great job last year.
Guest:I couldn't believe I did such a good job.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then the next year I'm like, well, now what am I?
Guest:Then, you know, more and more people are like, oh, we're so excited to see you.
Guest:I'm like, okay.
Guest:It's way different.
Guest:It's like worse than the military shows because I'm like, if I disappoint them, like maybe I can live with it.
Guest:If I disappoint, you know, these people, it might ruin my career.
Marc:No, but the thing is, is like all of that, like most people know the game and you're projecting all that.
Marc:Like most of the time when you're like, oh, that sucked.
Marc:They're like, what are you talking about?
Marc:Oh my God.
Marc:You just got to suck it up.
Guest:In fact, I posted a clip the other day that they sent me of me because I was roasting some of the athletes that were at the show that we were at.
Guest:And Jason was talking to me on the mic like, oh, yeah, that was good.
Guest:The whole time.
Guest:I never even heard that.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:Yeah, you're just like.
Guest:I never even.
Marc:On fire inside thinking like, what?
Yeah.
Guest:Well, there came a point in one part of the show where I was expecting everyone on stage.
Guest:There's 40 celebrities there just to be talking and not listening.
Guest:And there was one part in the show where I stopped where I normally pause.
Guest:And it was so quiet in the arena that I immediately...
Guest:Like recoiled.
Guest:I go, oh, God, people are actually listening to me.
Guest:Now what am I going to do?
Guest:And I just kept moving forward.
Marc:How did it go?
Guest:It went good.
Marc:But you did a lot of stuff.
Marc:I mean, you were like a regular on the Chelsea Lately show.
Marc:You seemed to write for people.
Marc:You seemed to like whether it's stand up or just doing the other work in show business, you're doing it all.
Guest:I genuinely like writing jokes for other people.
Guest:If I could just do that, I would be pretty fulfilled.
Marc:Unfortunately.
Marc:Can't do it now.
Guest:Can't do it right now.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I do find writing on Lights Out with David Spade.
Guest:David was one of my favorite bosses I've ever had.
Guest:He's great.
Guest:He's so great and so just self-deprecating.
Guest:We have the same kind of comedy.
Guest:I mean, he's way better at it than me, but I just really clicked with him, locked in with his sense of humor immediately.
Marc:He's got a Teflon thing where even if he's sucking, he can make it funny.
Marc:Oh, yes.
Marc:The self-reflection monologue that goes on when he's trying new stuff.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Where he's like, oh, that's interesting.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Beep, bop, boop.
Marc:You know, he'll just like.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:But he's just, I could just watch him.
Marc:Yeah, he's very funny.
Guest:All day.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So tell me about this new special so people go watch it.
Marc:I mean, it came out a little while ago.
Guest:Yeah, it came out earlier this year.
Guest:It's called 44.
Guest:I taped it last year at the Comedy Store.
Guest:I mean, a lot of it is material about myself that I needed to retire.
Guest:You know, I talk a lot about being a new mom.
Guest:Why are you really selling this?
Guest:I talk a lot about being a new mom and just growing up in the South and Cracker Barrel.
Guest:You know, it was a really high honor for me to do it because it's one of the first specials the comedy stores produced themselves.
Guest:Oh, good.
Guest:And it was their big first endeavor into doing it.
Guest:And it was a real honor for them.
Guest:They chose me and Justin Martindale to do ours on the same night.
Guest:So they taped them separately.
Marc:Oh, that's fun.
Marc:And you guys are of the same class.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So...
Guest:And they put a little clip at the end of one of my sets from the comedy store.
Marc:Like Potluck or something?
Guest:Probably early on, like 2009, so 14 years ago.
Guest:I was such a baby and wearing a dress still.
Guest:Well, I always dressed up when I did the main room.
Marc:Yeah, that's over.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Now, post-COVID, before COVID, I still was.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Post-COVID, I'm just like, no, I have to wear things that are comfortable now.
Guest:I was too conditioned to be comfortable for two years.
Guest:So, yeah, I mean, it goes all into my family.
Guest:It's called 44 because I was 44 when I taped it.
Guest:And Hank Aaron's number is 44.
Guest:And I'm a huge Hank Aaron Braves fan.
Marc:And eventually Adele will make an album.
Guest:Yes, that will be 44.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:That's the thing.
Guest:I want to be like that.
Guest:I want to only release stuff every three to five years.
Guest:I want them to still be special.
Marc:Oh, good.
Marc:Well, I always like seeing you and I always enjoy watching you.
Guest:Thank you.
Marc:And I'm glad we finally got to do this.
Guest:I know.
Guest:I'm so honored.
Guest:I'm such a, I mean, I'm such a huge admirer of you and your work and I find it, I mean, even when you just, we have a conversation in the back in the main room, I'm honored that you would even want to just like have any kind of conversation with me.
Marc:Well, I'm always intimidated because I don't know anything about sports.
Marc:And the last conversation was just me going, I don't know.
Guest:So many people tend to walk out, especially when Bill and I start arguing about sports.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Because they, you know, he thinks he's right because he's louder.
Marc:That's his whole act.
Marc:That's his entire social act.
Marc:God forbid you raise your voice.
Marc:Like there was one time we got into an argument because, what are you yelling at me for?
Marc:I'm like, are you kidding me?
Guest:Well, you started at a 10.
Marc:Yeah, exactly.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Well, I'm glad you guys get into it about something, you know, not personal necessarily.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:No, no.
Guest:It's never personal.
Marc:Well, I guess I'll see you over there.
Guest:I'll see you over there.
Guest:Thank you.
Marc:Sarah Tiana, folks.
Marc:The new special 44 is available to watch on YouTube.
Marc:Hang out for a minute.
Marc:Hey, Full Merritt subscribers have another batch of producer cuts to listen to this week.
Marc:That's exclusive stuff that wasn't in the regular episodes, as well as some previews of yet-to-be-released episodes, like my talk with Oscar winner Jessica Chastain.
Guest:It started, I think, because I didn't have a lot of energy.
Guest:I wasn't feeling well.
Guest:And then a friend of mine who was a famous actress... You can mention her name.
Guest:Okay, Michelle Williams.
Guest:We did a play together, and she had this...
Guest:a two-week food delivery program that they gave her at some award show, and then she was gonna use it, so she gave it to me, and it was vegan food.
Marc:And that was it?
Guest:Yeah, and that was it.
Marc:Wait, so you felt better?
Marc:Like the energy thing resolved itself?
Guest:Yeah, I mean, not only was it vegan, it was like raw vegan, which that was rough.
Guest:That was crazy.
Guest:And I did like a week, and the first week I was just so pissed off all the time, and I just felt like, what is this?
Guest:And then the second week, it felt like I was high.
Guest:Really?
Guest:I was like, all of a sudden, I was like, yeah, man.
Guest:I just felt so happy and calm and cool.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And then, so yeah, then I finished the two weeks.
Marc:Did that high last till now?
Marc:To hear those producer cuts and all the bonus episodes we release every week, subscribe to the full Marin by going to the link in the episode description or go to WTFpod.com and click on WTF+.
Marc:Next week, we have Killian Murphy from Oppenheimer on Monday and comedian Mike Rowe on Thursday.
Marc:I got to pull another guitar riff from the vault because I'm busy.
Marc:I can't sit here for 45 minutes and figure out a riff today.
Marc:Sorry, but you won't know the difference.
Marc:But you will because I just told you.
Marc:Boomer lives.
Marc:Monkey LaFonda.
Marc:Cat angels everywhere.