Episode 1444 - Felicia Michaels
Guest:Lock the gates!
Marc:Alright, let's do this.
Marc:How are you, what the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck, buddies?
Marc:What the fuck, Nicks?
Marc:What's happening?
Marc:I'm Mark Maron.
Marc:This is my podcast, WTF.
Marc:Welcome to it.
Marc:I imagine most of you have been here a while.
Marc:Is that true?
Marc:What are you doing?
Marc:Your dishes?
Marc:What are you doing?
Marc:Your laundry?
Marc:What are you doing?
Marc:Walking outside?
Marc:Walking the dog?
Marc:Hiking up a hill?
Marc:On the bike?
Marc:Are you on the bike?
Marc:Are you on the treadmill?
Marc:What are you doing?
Marc:Are you in your car?
Marc:Do people still drive places?
Marc:What are you doing?
Marc:Are you laying in bed just wondering if you're going to get out of it?
Marc:What's happening?
Marc:Are you at chemo?
Marc:Are you at the doctor?
Marc:Are you getting your stitches out?
Marc:What is happening?
Marc:No matter what it is, welcome.
Marc:Welcome.
Marc:I hope that you're making it through.
Marc:I hope that you're plotting through another day.
Marc:You know, how's it going?
Marc:God damn it.
Marc:Is it time to start baking?
Marc:Is that what I need to do now?
Marc:Is it time to open up a vegan bakery?
Marc:There's a server at the comedy store, Ansley, who makes vegan chocolate chip cookies.
Marc:And she used to just bring them because it was a nice thing to do and she liked making them.
Marc:And then we were all eating them and they were great.
Marc:And then someone got the big idea to offer her, you know, basically a baking job to make hundreds of these cookies and put them on the menu, cook them in the very limited but working comedy store kitchen.
Marc:So now, not so many for us regular people.
Marc:Now they're all like two to a package and ready to sell.
Marc:So I've been put in the position to steal fucking cookies.
Marc:And no one wants to steal cookies.
Marc:You kind of want to like sort of like, oh, this is nice.
Marc:There's cookies here.
Marc:Not like, all right, shut up.
Marc:Don't anyone tell.
Marc:I'm taking these cookies.
Marc:But it's different than a child just eating, you know, at off times, sticking his hand in the jar or whatever that old thing was, the cookie jar.
Marc:It's me kind of like taking cookies.
Marc:But you know what?
Marc:They're better.
Marc:They're better when you steal them.
Marc:When you're not supposed to have them, which is probably always for me, don't need the sugar.
Marc:But really when there's accounting involved.
Marc:Man, how fun is it to eat stolen shit?
Marc:Am I right?
Marc:Hey, right?
Marc:Hey, who's on the show today?
Marc:I'll tell you.
Marc:What is this tone?
Marc:What is this tone emitting from my face?
Marc:Felicia Michaels is here.
Marc:She's a comic.
Marc:She's also a photographer.
Marc:And but she and I go way back.
Marc:She is a comedian that was at the comedy store when I was a door guy.
Marc:She was there when I was out of my mind on drugs, running around sweating.
Marc:She was there.
Marc:Never thought she liked me much.
Marc:But she was there and she was part of the world that was the comedy store in the late 80s, like a deep part of it.
Marc:But I never knew her that well.
Marc:And then years went by.
Marc:She was doing comedy.
Marc:Then years went by and she married my manager.
Marc:And then she became a photographer and did all these amazing photographs, a lot of comedian photographs.
Marc:And she just kind of wasn't in the comedy racket.
Marc:She was doing photographs.
Marc:And then she came back.
Marc:Now she's back doing comedy.
Marc:It was just one of those things that's like, all right, let's get on with it, Felicia.
Marc:Let's have this conversation that we've never had.
Marc:Like we have been around each other for decades, but it's just one of these situations where really for a long time, I just assumed she wanted nothing to do with me.
Marc:And it was very interesting to hear her perception of me, which this is kind of this recurring thing that's going on, this perception of me from other people and this perception of me from myself.
Marc:You know, like, how do I see myself?
Marc:What do I think is real?
Marc:What do other people see?
Marc:Should I go with that?
Marc:Should I go with me?
Marc:Should I mix them up?
Marc:Are some people way off?
Marc:You know, and it's a very weird world we're living in where you have this AI situation and this chat thing where there is an easily manufactured double of yourself available that will become more available.
Marc:Something that is just thinking on its own.
Marc:I don't think about it too much.
Marc:I haven't got into the chat GP or whatever it's called.
Marc:GT, I don't know what it's called.
Marc:But somebody did.
Marc:Somebody had to write a joke in my voice about a thing.
Marc:And it wasn't good, but it knew what it was doing.
Marc:Now, I'm not going to engage with that shit.
Marc:I mean, I don't have personal boundaries.
Marc:They're not good.
Marc:I don't want to, you know, I don't want to mesh with the machines any more than I have.
Marc:I mean, it's bad enough that my machine that I hold every day and text with and talk into and get information from knows kind of my habits and knows kind of what I want and will kind of like feed it to me.
Marc:I mean, that's about as much codependency or symbiosis with the mechanisms of technology that I want.
Marc:You know, on this mic, I can hold on to myself and I can hold on to my chair.
Marc:But man, when it comes to the brain, the brain is squishy and soft.
Marc:And once something worms in there that's got more power than you, look out.
Marc:It's going to infect it.
Marc:It's going to take it over.
Marc:It's going to change things around.
Marc:I don't know if this is a warning or what.
Marc:God damn it.
Marc:You can still submit questions for next week's Ask Mark Anything episode for full Marin subscribers.
Marc:Just go to the episode description and whatever app you're using right now and click on the question link.
Marc:I'll answer them on next week's bonus episode.
Marc:Also, if you want to come see me here in L.A., I'll be a Dynasty typewriter on Saturday, June 24th.
Marc:Then at Largo on Sunday, July 1st, that's a music show.
Marc:You can go to WTF pod.com slash tour for tickets.
Marc:I took a guitar lesson yesterday.
Marc:The guy I'm playing with in the band, Jason Roberts, you know, he's a guitar teacher because he's a guitar player.
Marc:And sometimes you got to teach, but he's going to, he's showing me the, he's showing me the stuff that,
Marc:I didn't know nothing.
Marc:I know nothing.
Marc:I've been flying by the seat of my pants with the same fucking two scales my entire life as a guitar player.
Marc:And I've been frustrated because I'm trying to wrench feeling out of five notes, which is possible.
Marc:It's possible to do that one or two notes, but maybe it'd be nice to be able to have a little versatility.
Marc:So yesterday he taught me...
Marc:All these different positions of the major, the minor, and the mixolydian.
Marc:Is that what it is?
Marc:A mixolydian scale?
Marc:Is that what it's called?
Marc:But that's the one.
Marc:That's the noodling scale.
Marc:I always wanted to have the, I want to be a mixolydian noodler.
Marc:So maybe that's going to happen.
Marc:He told me all this stuff.
Marc:And within an hour, I don't have, I don't remember any of it today.
Marc:Zero.
Marc:I guess that's where practice comes in.
Marc:Am I right?
Marc:Practice?
Marc:Am I right?
Marc:Let me ask you a question honestly.
Marc:Like when you take something to a potluck that you've cooked and you watch whether or not people eat it, and even if they do, if there's some left over, what is the proper thing to do?
Marc:Do you take it home?
Marc:I took mine home because I'm going to eat it.
Marc:Is that wrong?
Marc:You kind of want to eat it.
Marc:You can only eat so much of it when you make it.
Marc:But is it gauche or incorrect to be like, yeah, I'm going to take that with me because I made it.
Marc:It's mine.
Marc:It started out with me.
Marc:It's going back with me, whatever's left, because I'm going to eat it.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Is that rude?
Marc:Is it?
Marc:I think I had some sort of minor breakthrough.
Marc:You know, I have a certain amount of anxiety and I fuel it with coffee.
Marc:It's anxiety, but I have a worried mind.
Marc:I have a worried mind.
Marc:Sometimes there are things to worry about and sometimes there are not.
Marc:Arguably, worrying does nothing unless it sort of propels you into action, whatever that action is.
Marc:Now, I'm no therapist and I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about right now.
Marc:But the point is, is that my brain festers.
Marc:And I've talked about this before.
Marc:I've done jokes about it in some form of another.
Marc:I used to do an OCD joke about mild OCD that I had.
Marc:And that joke, it was, you know, the...
Marc:One of the benefits of OCD is every time you go back to check the gas, every time that you find out that it's off, you get that same sense of relief.
Marc:I don't know if that wears out or not.
Marc:I imagine it does.
Marc:And I imagine when you have self-awareness around that particular disorder, eventually it becomes very frustrating.
Marc:But that idea has sort of come around with me again because my brain, my imagination untethered is just a frequency of panic.
Marc:that causes anxiety, a panic that causes worry, a panic that causes catastrophic thinking in my mind.
Marc:And I had this weird thing the other day where I was worried about something for a few hours, and then it came to pass that I was completely wrong about it.
Marc:Now, look, catastrophic thinking is its own thing.
Marc:You know, like I've talked about that before, too, in my material.
Marc:It's that if you think the worst, anything that happens that isn't that is better.
Marc:That's one thing.
Marc:But the actual feeling of panic and worry and then finding out that you were wrong or you had nothing to worry about is not just like, okay, it's great.
Marc:That relief is great.
Marc:And I tweeted something about it, just about that, about if you're a worrier, you might be addicted to relief.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And some guy, I want to give him credit, though I don't know who it was, said, isn't that what, you know, basically, isn't that what all addiction is about?
Marc:Fleeting relief is what I said.
Marc:If you are a worrier, you might be addicted to fleeting relief.
Marc:And he said, isn't that what all addiction is?
Marc:And yes.
Marc:That was a good addition to what I was working through.
Marc:This basic premise of freaking out and then realizing in a moment that you have nothing to freak out about is like, it's like a speed ball from the inside.
Marc:You know, and I'm sure it fucks with your brain chemicals like anything else.
Marc:And if your brain is wired like that, whether it's from your parents or whatever, where you're just kind of constantly, you know, kind of operating from a place of dread and from a place of panic, of unseen things or things that have happened or things that may happen.
Marc:It's just the way your brain works.
Marc:For me, it was like, well, I'm just a warrior.
Marc:But then like the other day, I realized like, no, man.
Marc:I want that speedball.
Marc:I want that relief, that fleeting relief.
Marc:Even if it just passes for a second, that momentary like, oh, shit.
Marc:Thank God.
Marc:Thank God.
Marc:I've been doing it my whole life.
Marc:And I used to just think I'm an anxious warrior, but now I think I'm just like anybody else, a fleeting relief addict.
Marc:So then you got to ask yourself, do you, how much time you want to spend in this anxiety up in your fucking head, freaking out about something?
Marc:Because that's your choice.
Marc:Because what I said at the beginning of this thing, that worry doesn't lead anywhere.
Marc:It's not, it's not proactive really in any way.
Marc:On some level, what's done is done.
Marc:And all you can do is sort of own it or fix it or let it go.
Marc:But the actual activity of worrying, I'm not sure if that does any good, except offer you the possibility of that sweet, sweet relief.
Marc:Right?
Marc:All right, look, Felicia Michaels, let me preface this conversation by, I guess, we reference potluck at the Comedy Store.
Marc:Potluck is basically the open mic at the Comedy Store, but everything else should be self-explanatory.
Marc:You can find out where Felicia is doing stand-up at feliciamichaels.net.
Marc:You can also listen to her podcast, The Liars Club, which I've been on.
Marc:And this is me catching up from back in the day
Marc:with Felicia Michaels.
Marc:Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me.
Marc:I think less is wrong with me than used to be wrong with me, or I've learned how to live with it better, but I'm okay.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Are you sure?
Guest:Are you sure?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I've done okay.
Marc:I've managed all right.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:I landed on my feet.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:I mean, you know, you saw me.
Marc:We met in a compromised time.
Guest:Yes, we did.
Guest:I know.
Guest:Isn't it funny?
Marc:It's really funny.
Marc:It's really odd.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:To me.
Marc:Because, I don't know, where did you, how did you get to L.A.
Marc:?
Guest:When I was, I had a couple different trips.
Guest:I was an army brat, so I came to visit my dad to go finish up high school.
Marc:From where?
Guest:Colorado.
Marc:Oh, you're in Colorado.
Guest:I was in Colorado.
Marc:With your mom?
Guest:With my mother.
Guest:I was married when I was just turned 18.
Okay.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You didn't know that about me?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I don't know a whole lot.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, so you're married when you're 18.
Guest:I was married when I was 18.
Marc:And you grew up in Colorado?
Guest:Well, I was army brat.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So that means everywhere?
Guest:A little bit everywhere.
Guest:Mostly my mother was from Berlin.
Guest:From Germany.
Guest:From Germany.
Marc:She had an accent?
Yeah.
Guest:Full on accent.
Guest:And my stepmother was from Berlin.
Guest:I don't know what the fuck is wrong with my dad, but he likes those German chicks.
Marc:Did he meet her in Germany?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:When he was stationed?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So then I was actually born in Fort Riley.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Kansas.
Guest:Kansas.
Guest:I was born on the day John F. Kennedy died.
Marc:Wow.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you know what's fucked up?
Guest:My brother's birthday.
Marc:So we're like a month apart.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:My brother's birthday was on the day Robert Kennedy died.
Marc:Huh.
Guest:June 6th.
Marc:What do you make of it?
Guest:Well, one of my first jokes ever wrote was, you know, Ted Kennedy wants my mom to get her tubes tied.
Guest:That's so stupid.
Marc:But anyway.
Marc:That's good.
Marc:So, wait, did you speak German in the house?
Guest:You know, my mother didn't really speak a lot of German in the house.
Guest:Sometimes I would hear my stepmother speak a little bit of German.
Guest:And what's funny is I hear my stepmother's accent.
Guest:I didn't hear my mother's accent ever growing up.
Guest:But I would hear my stepmother's accent.
Marc:So this is your dad's second wife.
Guest:Yes, my dad's second wife.
Marc:But were they, like, I knew one German family up the street when I was growing up, when I was a really little kid.
Marc:And I just remember going to that guy's house and thinking it smelled funny.
Guest:Right.
Marc:But, you know, I don't, but it's just because they cook different.
Guest:Like goulash?
Guest:Or whatever.
Marc:Sausage, kraut.
Guest:There you go.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:It's very specific.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Well, I mean, cause I know they must, they were real full on Germans.
Marc:There was a whole German family said they were cooking things that I wouldn't have been, but everyone's house smells fucked up.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:If it's not your house.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Your house smells good with all them cats.
Marc:I know.
Marc:I'm surprised.
Marc:And I hope someone will tell me when it doesn't, cause I'm not going to notice.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I try to keep the incense going, keep the air going and they don't pee on shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I'm lucky with these cats.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So you got these two German step, German mother Germans.
Guest:Okay.
Marc:So you're not in Kansas.
Marc:You moved to Colorado.
Guest:Yes, because my father did two tours in Vietnam.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Is he still around?
Guest:No, no.
Guest:My father was exposed to Agent Orange.
Marc:So was my girlfriend's dad.
Guest:Yeah, and he became blind because of it.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Guest:Yeah, later in life, and they attracted back to Agent Orange exposure.
Guest:And it kind of led to, when he passed away, it kind of led to that because he was in a pretty bad accident.
Marc:Oh.
Guest:But he did two tours.
Marc:Her father got cancer because of it.
Guest:Oh, wow.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:What kind of cancer?
Marc:I'm not clear, but he didn't die that long ago, but it was from that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, Agent Orange can attack the soft body tissue.
Guest:That is the weakest.
Guest:And for my dad, it was his eyes because he had seen quite a bit of explosions and action and all that kind of stuff.
Guest:Holy shit.
Guest:So I lived, other than those two years, until I was around 12 in Berlin, Germany, because my mother was from Berlin, so he would always try to...
Marc:So you were there in Germany?
Marc:Do you have memories of Germany?
Guest:Absolutely, yeah.
Guest:Wow.
Marc:Until you were 12?
Guest:Around 12, except for two years when my dad did Vietnam.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then up in Fort Ord in Stockton, yeah, during that period of time.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:So do you ever go back to Germany?
Guest:I have been several times.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:You have relatives?
Guest:I do have relatives, but now they're all kind of older.
Guest:And I have a cousin that lives in Spain now, weirdly.
Marc:And it's nice to have a European reason to go there.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Like for family.
Marc:Like I have to go to Spain because I have a cousin.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But it's, you know, it's such a great gift in a way to be an army brat because after you're an army brat, even when your life is at the lowest, you know, there's more out there because you've seen it.
Guest:Yeah, it's true.
Guest:And it's a motivator, you know, and it was for me in Colorado as a young child.
Marc:That's a good way to look at it.
Marc:As opposed to just being like, I'm fucked up.
Marc:We never lived anywhere for longer than a minute.
Guest:Yeah, I have no friends.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Because that's the other story.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Like, you can never make friends.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But it's also, you can make friends really fast.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because you learn how to make friends.
Guest:It's hard.
Guest:It's hard to keep them.
Guest:That's the hard part.
Marc:So, what leads... So, you're in Colorado and you're going to high school.
Guest:So, I was in Colorado.
Marc:And you meet a guy...
Guest:And, uh, I know it's so typical army brat kind of thing.
Guest:The difference with me is that my mother had a massive stroke when I was 14 or 15 and she became handicapped.
Guest:And so, uh, yeah.
Guest:So I lived on my own basically for like a year with her or no, she was in a rehabilitation center.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I lived there in my own home.
Guest:Uh, and, uh, you know, would hide from the social workers and,
Guest:Steal the food stamps.
Guest:Oh, so they didn't know?
Guest:They didn't know.
Marc:That you were just in the family house?
Guest:Well, it was an apartment.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, like a government apartment.
Marc:That you lived in with your mother.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And then she splits and you're still just doing it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, they didn't have computers back then.
Guest:Right.
Guest:That's heavy, though.
Guest:Yeah, that was a pretty heavy time.
Marc:And where was your dad?
Guest:Well, my dad had a crazy life after the service.
Guest:He was a projectionist.
Guest:weirdly went to a school yeah on the gi bill or whatever yeah became learned how to become a projectionist and then he owned a drive-in movie theater so the very few times i was around my father he had this trailer at the back of his movie theater drive-in in stockton california it was called the 99 yeah and so the very few times i was around my father he also worked at the man's chinese theater at the time it was called man
Marc:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So as a kid, I ran around that whole place.
Marc:Was that his first gig as a projectionist before he opened the drive-in at Mann's?
Guest:No, I think he had the drive-in and then that went around five or six years and then he quit and got a job at Mann's.
Guest:Came down here?
Marc:Isn't Stockton up by the Bay Area?
Guest:It's up east, up and east.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:By Fresno and all that.
Guest:Oh, by Fresno.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:My father's side of the family is like the Grapes of Wrath kind of folk.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Dust Bowl.
Guest:Dust Bowl.
Guest:Oklahoma people.
Guest:Oh, really?
Yeah.
Wow.
Guest:You know, they say things like, don't eat too many of them peaches.
Guest:You'll get the skitters.
Guest:You know, like that's pure shit right there.
Marc:Do you have family down?
Marc:Do you have family in Oklahoma?
Guest:There are family in Oklahoma.
Guest:Yeah, absolutely.
Guest:Not so much.
Guest:My dad eventually then moved to Kansas eventually.
Marc:Back?
Guest:Yeah, he moved to Kansas.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I have a little house in Kansas.
Marc:How did that happen?
Guest:How did what happen?
Marc:Why did you decide to get a house in Kansas?
Guest:Oh, because I had gotten divorced and they were so cheap there.
Guest:And I was like, you know what?
Guest:I need to find a, when everything goes to shit, old lady Heidi hole.
Guest:And so I bought a little house in Kansas for like $8,000.
Guest:Like a whole house?
Marc:Like a whole house.
Marc:How many bedrooms for $8,000?
Guest:It was a two bedroom, one bath.
Guest:I still have it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And the thing is I had that same house here in Los Angeles, the same size.
Guest:For a million five.
Guest:Yes.
Wow.
Guest:That I had to sell when my alimony went away.
Marc:It's good, though.
Marc:It's good if you got, you know, if you got it cheap and you went out high.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:So you got the house and the settlement and then you fucking bailed.
Guest:And then I bailed.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, pretty much.
Marc:But all right.
Marc:So the drive in theater.
Marc:I like that whole scene.
Guest:That's pretty good.
Guest:Yeah, that was a crazy.
Marc:At least it's cool to go see your dad.
Marc:He does a cool thing.
Guest:you know what well i the memories i have of it yeah is just like i have i had an older brother just like fighting with my older brother yeah and they had this uh in the trailer yeah that was on the back of this uh drive-in movie theater yeah and and they had a picture window in the trailer that looked onto the screen from the back and so it you'd be like thank you as orca would crash into the village it was really a weird experience yeah it was a wild experience
Marc:So what happens when you're like, you know, just living in Colorado as a 14-year-old?
Marc:How long does that go on before the whole place goes up, goes to shit?
Guest:Yeah, before I left Colorado.
Marc:Well, no, like you're 14.
Marc:How do you end up getting married?
Guest:Well, because my mother was very sick when I was growing up.
Guest:I have no memory of my mother ever being well.
Guest:And she had a lot of issues.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:She's a very dissociative personality.
Guest:And she was in a wheelchair.
Guest:And I was my mother's helper.
Marc:No other siblings?
Guest:Well, my father took my brother when we got divorced.
Guest:So I was it.
Guest:He left me as the consolation prize.
Guest:But you have a full brother.
Guest:Yeah, he passed.
Guest:But yeah, a full brother.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:So when I was 17, I met a young GI.
Guest:That's what you did.
Guest:That's your social circle.
Guest:You know, all my friends.
Guest:Yeah, because it's, you know, being an army brat, your whole societal structure is around being in the army.
Guest:So like your dad is in the army.
Guest:The kids you go to school, their dads are in the army.
Guest:You probably met them three times during your life in all different parts of the world already, you know, because you're moving around constantly.
Guest:They don't move people around as much as they did when I was a kid.
Marc:What rank was your dad?
Guest:Oh, well, my dad was not a very good soldier.
Guest:So he was just a staff sergeant.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:Yeah, but that's all right.
Marc:Yeah, but he had a job.
Guest:He had a job.
Guest:He had a job.
Marc:So you meet this guy.
Guest:So I met this guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then it was, here's the thing, because I did at that time grow up on welfare when my mother was handicapped and my father wasn't paying child support.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Yeah, it was kind of crazy.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:And so I just I met this guy and I couldn't live with my mother after I turned 18 anymore because unless I was to go to college.
Guest:But I had moved around so much.
Marc:But they took her out of rehab and put her back in the house.
Guest:So you were back in the house.
Marc:So you were a caretaker.
Guest:I was her caretaker.
Guest:And it was really hard.
Guest:You know, it's first of all, don't ever go, you know, handicap with a teenager in the house.
Guest:I mean, no sympathy whatsoever.
Guest:You try to be a good person, but you're a teen.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I met this guy.
Guest:His name was Jeff.
Guest:And he asked me to get married.
Guest:And I said yes, because I was literally going to be evicted from my mother's home at that time.
Marc:Practical.
Guest:Practical.
Guest:And we were in a little town.
Guest:So it was about 30 miles outside Colorado Springs.
Guest:So we didn't have a car.
Marc:Oh my God.
Guest:So I just had no options.
Guest:You know, I had went to 106 different schools.
Guest:College wasn't going to happen.
Guest:No?
Guest:No.
Guest:And so we got married.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then pretty quickly, he became kind of violent.
Guest:It's a crazy story.
Guest:Terrible.
Guest:He was physically violent.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I split that.
Guest:god damn i know and then i went and hung out with this girl i knew in high school she had a place in colorado springs yeah so now i'm in the big city and uh this is such a stupid story and i'm gonna i'm gonna circle it back it's gonna make you laugh so then uh i needed to get a job yeah and i saw this uh newspaper ad for hostesses and
Guest:And I go down there, and what it is is they're looking for dancers for the Peppermint Lounge.
Marc:Peppermint Lounge.
Guest:The Peppermint Lounge.
Marc:It was around then, huh?
Guest:Yeah, it was around then.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:And so I went to go have an interview, and she's like, look, you're not 21.
Guest:You can't serve at this place, but we're looking for dancers.
Guest:You're not old enough to serve alcohol, but you can show some titties.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:So then I went and did like a wet T-shirt night.
Guest:And it's like so burned into my memory, that wet T-shirt night.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I played ACDC's Highway to Hell.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, themes for me.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:You have to.
Guest:And the whole Olympic hockey player team was there.
Marc:Just happened to be?
Guest:Just happened to be there.
Marc:Was it your big night?
Marc:Your audition, kind of?
Guest:No, it was just a contest.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I did the contest.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I took my top off.
Guest:And, like, I didn't even get boobs until I was 17.
Guest:Like, no boobies, right?
Guest:Like, I was not, you know, like, I was shocked.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me, Mark.
Marc:I'm not even lying.
Marc:What happened?
Guest:Well, I won the contest.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so for the next six months, I would just go and do the contest, like, you know, every couple of weeks.
Marc:So you weren't working at the place?
Guest:Not yet.
Guest:But then after a couple times, they were all like, look, bitch.
You know?
Guest:You can't come do that contest anymore.
Guest:It's such a stupid story, but it's totally true.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I had to work there.
Guest:And when I was working there, guess who I met?
Guest:Who?
Guest:A stand-up comedian.
Guest:Hard to believe.
Guest:And that's how I got into comedy.
Guest:This guy named Jeff Valdez.
Guest:He owned the comedy part.
Guest:I remember that guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:From Denver.
Guest:Yeah, he was actually from Pueblo, Colorado, but yeah, in the Colorado scene.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:I remember that guy.
Marc:Did he run a club?
Guest:He had a club called the Comedy Corner in Colorado Springs.
Guest:I actually, we lived together when I was... Oh, so you dated him.
Guest:Yeah, and he moved in pretty quickly.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:This all happened when I was 18.
Guest:18 was a very big year for me.
Marc:And you were stripping.
Guest:And I was stripping, and we moved in together, and then he opened the club.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And then I was the ticket girl.
Marc:So you saw everybody coming through.
Marc:Who was coming?
Marc:What year is that?
Guest:That was 1982.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:So that's like it's like the before the boom even.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Like who the hell is coming through?
Guest:So the first guy to come through, Alan Stevens.
Guest:I swear to God.
Guest:Come on.
Guest:I swear to God.
Guest:I swear.
Marc:And you stayed friends with him forever.
Marc:Didn't you date him?
Guest:No, yeah, a little bit, but not for long.
Marc:But you guys were pals.
Guest:We were pals for a long time.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Absolutely.
Marc:He was one of the first guys?
Guest:He was, and you're the second guy, Jackson Purdue.
Marc:No shit.
Marc:So all the store people, because that was, I mean, that's where they were working.
Marc:I mean, that was the beginning of the road kind of, huh?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And weirdly.
Marc:So that was before the comedy, what is it?
Marc:The one in Denver?
Marc:There was no...
Guest:There was the Comedy Works.
Guest:And there was George McKelvey's Comedy Club.
Guest:But the Comedy Works was there.
Guest:And so when we were dating, he took me to the Comedy Works.
Guest:And, you know, I might have been 19 maybe at that time.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then there was a girl comic on stage and literally probably had my first drink because I never drank when I was stripping.
Marc:Just to protect yourself?
Guest:Well, you know, after school specials do take their mark on you.
Guest:Like, I can be a stripper, but I better not drink the after school special.
Guest:So stupid.
Guest:That's so true, though.
Marc:You're probably smart, though.
Marc:Yeah.
Yeah.
Guest:And and so I had literally probably my first drinks and I got a little rowdy and this girl was dying on stage.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And and he was like, you know, I was laughing because she was dying.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But I wasn't being like obnoxious or anything.
Guest:He's like, you should you should be respectful.
Guest:Comedy is really hard.
Guest:And I'm like, I could do comedy.
Guest:Valdez said that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You remember who the girl was?
Guest:I don't remember who the girl was.
Guest:I've never, I don't think seen her since.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:And then I went up and I did comedy and did it at the Godfathers.
Guest:There was a club, a rock and roll club called Godfathers.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I wonder if that was the same one.
Marc:I think there was one of those in Albuquerque too.
Marc:I wonder if it was like the same owners.
Marc:It was in Pueblo or Denver?
Marc:In Colorado Springs.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So why did you go there and not the club that your boyfriend owned?
Guest:Because I think it was right around the time he was starting to open it.
Guest:And he just had a gig at Godfather.
Guest:It was like within a few months.
Guest:And so I wrote down like my little perceived joke.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:He was very kind enough to tape it by the microphone so that I could look down.
Guest:And he was very nice in a lot of ways that he arranged for my mother in a wheelchair to come with some rock and roll club to see her daughter tell dick jokes.
Marc:This is the first time?
Guest:First time ever.
Guest:Wow.
Marc:The last thing I would want is my mother there.
Guest:I know.
Guest:I was shocked that she was there.
Guest:I didn't know it was a surprise.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And I had a good set.
Guest:You did?
Guest:I killed it.
Guest:I couldn't buy a laugh for about five years after.
Guest:But that first time I killed it.
Guest:You know how it goes.
Marc:I do.
Marc:Well, you're so excited and they're so surprised.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Like there's electricity to it the first time.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it's the first time I ever did something where it felt kind of like me.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Weirdly.
Guest:Because I didn't even know stand-up really existed.
Marc:Until then.
Guest:Until I met him.
Guest:Like I didn't understand the concept of it.
Marc:So he opens the club.
Marc:So are you watching everybody and doing that business and trying to figure it out?
Guest:I'm watching everybody, yeah.
Marc:Who else was coming through there?
Guest:Roseanne came a lot because she was up in Denver.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Before she was anything, right?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:She was just open mic.
Marc:That must have been amazing.
Marc:Kind of to see her at that stage because she was always pretty funny, right?
Guest:From the get-go, a killer.
Guest:And then I stayed with Jeff for about a year and then he became how men do.
Guest:Which version?
Guest:When they date someone that used to be a stripper, they get all weird.
Guest:We don't need to go into that old hacky story, but you know what I'm saying.
Marc:I'd like to know exactly what type of weird men who date strippers become.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:they do stuff like oh you're not gonna listen to me and then like throw a dollar on the floor oh pick that up then oh that's what you used to like that kind of stuff you know where you're just like when you're 19 like why are you treating me this way because he's an asshole that's why move on so I moved on this is totally true I'm so stupid
Marc:Oh, that's such a horrible fight tactic.
Guest:I know.
Marc:But it's one you have because they're a stripper.
Marc:I get it.
Marc:You know, usually you just say something to hurt them otherwise, but that's fucking, you got a whole theatrical presentation.
Guest:Yeah, I know.
Guest:And, you know, like, yeah, you throw a dollar out, and then you quietly pick the dollar up.
Guest:Because, you know, some things never die.
Guest:And then I left.
Guest:And I came to Los Angeles.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:That's how it all happened.
Guest:And then I wasn't, I was 19 at the time, maybe.
Guest:And I had a hard time getting a job.
Marc:Did you strip out here?
Guest:I did by the airport.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:At the jet strip.
Marc:The saddest strippers.
Guest:The saddest strippers, yeah.
Marc:The airport strippers.
Yeah.
Guest:Or the savviest.
Marc:Yeah, maybe.
Marc:So, well, I don't even know where those, I kind of remember those places existing.
Marc:They're not there anymore, are they?
Marc:I don't know.
Guest:I wonder.
Marc:Out by LAX somewhere?
Guest:I'm sure there's got to be one there.
Guest:I guess so.
Guest:Yeah, I'm sure.
Marc:What was it called?
Guest:It was called the Jet Strip.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was pretty iconic at the time.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And, you know, the guy that owned it, his name was Mack.
Guest:And he was later, he was like a retired police officer.
Guest:Later, he was murdered.
Guest:Like, you could look it up.
Guest:They have, like, it was a crazy place.
Guest:And you knew that guy?
Guest:It was an insane place.
Why?
Guest:It's just a lot of drugs were going through there.
Guest:A lot of girls were, you know.
Guest:Well, this is what happened first is so I need to get a job.
Guest:So I was like, I don't want to be a stripper.
Guest:I want to be taken seriously.
Guest:So then I went.
Guest:As what?
Guest:As I don't know.
Guest:As a human being, Mark.
Guest:That's nice.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Guest:So then I go to, they had these dance places downtown and they were like these dance clubs.
Guest:And it was a lot of Asian clubs because that's a cultural thing that they kind of do.
Marc:Or they get tickets to dance with you?
Guest:It's like dime dancing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like you dance for a dime or whatever.
Marc:Wow.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But these clubs, oh my God, they were so crazy.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I don't even know what that, like what?
Guest:Okay, so the club, I can't even remember the name of the club.
Guest:I'm sure if I looked it up.
Guest:But anyway, so you would walk into the club, right?
Guest:And they would have a little room once you pay your little fee.
Guest:And then the room would be like 20 chairs.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And all the girls would sit in the chairs, right?
Guest:And then they would come.
Guest:Usually it was like having a business meeting at night or hanging out with your buddies.
Guest:And then they'd pick three girls, like come hang out with us.
Guest:And then you just sit there and drink Coca-Colas while they're talking in another language.
Guest:And then I met this girl named Raven.
Guest:I don't know why I'm even telling you this.
Guest:And she prostitutes herself out of there.
Guest:That's not a real name, obviously.
Guest:So it was kind of a crazy call.
Guest:And she invited me to a party once and she tried to prostitute me.
Guest:And I was like, I'm going back to the strip club where it's safer.
Guest:So that didn't last very long.
Marc:So you managed to get out of it without prostituting.
Guest:Without prostituting myself.
Guest:But I was doing a lot of open mics during that time.
Yeah.
Marc:When you were down at the jet strip?
Guest:Yeah, I would only work days so that I could go and do open mics.
Marc:That's when it's really, really full sadness, strip club during the day.
Guest:Yes, yes, yes.
Guest:Mark, imagine all of it, all of it.
Marc:Just like four people?
Guest:Just think of the smells in the locker room.
Guest:It was not good.
Marc:But were you doing open mics?
Yeah.
Guest:You know, there was a bunch of places.
Marc:What year are we talking now?
Guest:This is like 85?
Guest:No, this has to be 83, 84.
Guest:Oh, wow.
Guest:It was the Deli Smoker.
Guest:Did you ever do the Deli Smoker?
Guest:It was on Ventura.
Guest:Nope.
Guest:In Sherman Oaks.
Guest:It was in the back of a deli.
Guest:Nope.
Guest:And there's things like that.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And I couldn't get into the comedy store.
Marc:Who was doing the mics with you?
Marc:You remember?
Marc:Anybody?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That surfaced?
Yeah.
Marc:Because I don't remember there being an open mic scene, but I came out here later.
Guest:Yeah, when did you come out, Kelly?
Marc:Well, I came out in college, but I didn't do any comedy.
Marc:But when I came out here to be out here, it was like 80...
Marc:It was 86.
Guest:Oh, right.
Marc:It was the second half of 86 is when I came out to do the thing and then ended up through a series of events, you know, becoming the head doorman at the comedy store.
Guest:Right.
Marc:And I just stepped into that.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But so I don't remember doing any open mics other than, because I lived at the comedy store.
Marc:I didn't even have- Well, you didn't need to.
Marc:I guess so.
Guest:Yeah, you didn't need to.
Guest:I got very lucky because I think I became a regular there in 85.
Guest:But I couldn't even get in because I wasn't 21.
Guest:And they, you know, when I showed up, they're like, hey, I want to do comedy.
Guest:They're like, move aside, bitch.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:It was just a whole different- So what did you go like?
Marc:Did you go to like Potluck?
Yeah.
Guest:I went to potluck and I got in.
Guest:It was a miracle.
Marc:Who was in charge of that shit then?
Guest:uh you you would call up during the day my memory's a little sketchy on that but mitzi was still you know obviously in the middle of all that and then roseanne came out and she stayed at my house and she did potluck and got passed immediately i had just become a regular in 85 something like that so like you knew roseanne from denver from denver and she like was like let me stay at your house i want to go do this
Guest:Yeah, she's like, I'm going to audition at the Comedy Store.
Guest:And I was like, yeah, stay at my house.
Guest:And so she stayed at my house.
Guest:And she really, out of everyone, had a pretty meteoric rise.
Marc:Well, it must have been because by the time I got there, she was already a big star and she wasn't even coming around anymore.
Marc:It was over.
Guest:Well, she became a regular that night.
Guest:Mitzi, I mean, think about this.
Guest:Put her on in the main room because Monday nights is when you would audition for the comedy store.
Guest:And the main room shows on Mondays were insane.
Guest:I know.
Marc:Because there was no cover in my recollection.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Like it was just a shit.
Marc:All the rooms were just open.
Marc:That was like the fucking night.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That's the night that got me in trouble.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'm sure.
Guest:I'm sure.
Marc:Because it was crazy.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So she just puts her on and she kills?
Guest:So she passes her in the OR, puts her on in the main room.
Guest:No shit.
Guest:And I think Jim McCauley was actually there that night.
Guest:Come on!
Guest:If memory is correct in me, I think that's literally how it happened.
Marc:The night she gets passed, she does a main room spot, the booker of the Tonight Show sees her, says, you're it.
Yeah.
Guest:I don't know if he said it that night, but he was there and he saw her and soon enough she was on The Tonight Show.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It happened like, whoa.
Marc:But she's been doing it a few years though, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I can't remark exactly on how many, but probably five or six years.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But that's quick in comedy.
Guest:That's still pretty quick.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's really quick.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So did you guys talk after that night when she was staying at your house?
Guest:We were just laughing.
Marc:Holy shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then she went back to Denver and then things just started really happening.
Guest:I didn't even see her that much after that.
Marc:Wild.
Marc:Were you guys close or not really?
Marc:Just comic friends.
Guest:Uh, I remember I saw her about a year later and she was killing it and she was doing a show or something and, or it was just starting up and we went to go get a fat burger together.
Marc:Fat burgers.
Marc:Right down on, uh, on Santa Monica.
Guest:Yes, exactly.
Guest:And we were sitting there and she was just so worn down.
Guest:Like everybody is asking me for everything.
Guest:I was like 21, maybe 22.
Guest:And I just like, you know, and I had that moment right then when she was literally kind of bearing her soul about how everyone comes out of the woodwork where I was like, I'm never going to, I'm never going to be that person that kisses someone's ass or is begging off their crumbs.
Guest:Thank you for putting me on the podcast though, Mark.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I would never assume you would ever become that person.
Marc:I think until a month ago, I didn't even think you liked me.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:I felt the same way.
Guest:That's what I feel about everybody.
Guest:I think that's how all comedians feel in general.
Marc:You were kind of hard when I was a kid over there, though.
Guest:What?
Guest:We were same age.
Marc:I know.
Guest:What do you mean hard?
Guest:How do you describe that?
Marc:Well, I mean, I'm just this hypersensitive, weird, reactive person.
Guest:Right.
Marc:You know, with no real, you know, gauge of anything.
Marc:But you just seemed like, you know, you were not to be fucked with in any way.
Marc:And that you always kind of had this, you know, like, oh, God.
Marc:I don't know.
Guest:But you know why, Mark?
Guest:Because I came up as a stripper.
Guest:I know.
Guest:I believe it.
Marc:I believe it.
Guest:And I really 100% totally believe because it was a viper's nest, the comedy store of old gross men at that time as a 21-year-old.
Guest:And it really served me well because I was just able to not, you know, put the blinders on.
Guest:You know, it's like getaway weirdos.
Marc:Well, yeah.
Marc:I mean, you were kind of sexed up in your act.
Yeah.
Guest:Well, I mean, you know, when you're 19, 20, 21 years old and you're in a comedy club, what do you think the average age of someone in that comedy club is?
Guest:I don't even know.
Guest:30, 35, if you're averaging the age.
Guest:What is some ignorant little chick from Colorado that was a stripper?
Guest:What is she going to have in common to be able to talk to with that crowd that's, you know, 10 years older than her?
Guest:And the answer was sex.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so I talked a lot about sex.
Marc:But it's a persona kind of thing, though.
Guest:It did kind of become that.
Guest:I think it was kind of accidental, you know, and when I kind of stumbled on it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And everyone's so shocked about it.
Guest:I was like, yeah, fuck you guys.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, there was a thrill to just throwing it in people's faces.
Marc:But also you could do it because I've seen like there's there have been other people.
Marc:uh women comics that take that up but you did have a lot of fuck you to it like no one was really gonna fuck with you right do you know what I mean thank you for saying that Mark it's true though it was a different time for sure it was a different time all around but like when did you get past were you just hanging around
Guest:I got passed when I was 21 right off the bat.
Guest:First time I. But you had to wait.
Marc:But you'd been you've been hanging around a little bit.
Guest:You know, I wasn't.
Guest:I went when I was like 19.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:When I first got into L.A.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I was literally they wouldn't let me in the club.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know, because they would look at me and they get in trouble.
Guest:and uh well no yeah okay they don't have fucking they're really weirdly like on top of that age thing you know now but not 1984 85 i guess so yeah yeah you know it was just i it was kind of i think you know you don't fit what we think a woman comics should look now who was saying that
Guest:Well, that's just, you know.
Marc:The vibe?
Guest:Like, yeah, that's the vibe.
Marc:Who were the fucking, you know, the kind of like the dudes who were at the top of the hierarchy then?
Guest:Well, I mean, I can't remember who didn't let me in.
Guest:But, I mean, for sure, Harris Pete was around there.
Guest:But he was, you know, for sure.
Guest:Come on now.
Marc:I know.
Guest:I love Harris though.
Guest:I fucking love Harris.
Marc:He was the guy with his wallet and his wallet chain at the door of the fucking OR telling you you can't come in.
Guest:No, he wasn't that guy.
Guest:He wasn't some other person that never went anywhere.
Guest:So I had to wait until I was 20.
Guest:I literally turned 21 and showed up at the comedy store.
Marc:And she passed you immediately?
Guest:And I got passed.
Guest:And I remember when I got passed, Mark, I couldn't buy a laugh.
Guest:The only laugh in that whole fucking OR was Mitzi Shore.
Guest:And I was like, my ass was sweating.
Guest:I was like, this is going terribly.
Guest:And then I got past.
Guest:I was like, wow.
Marc:Oh, that's good.
Marc:She had that weird laugh.
Marc:And you knew exactly where she was.
Marc:She was either sitting by the back door or in her booth.
Marc:But I don't recall her ever really sitting in her booth in the OR as much as she sat by the back door.
Guest:Really?
Marc:Was she sitting in the booth?
Guest:She was sitting in the booth.
Guest:I for sure remember that.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Well, I mean, I haven't had one of these conversations in a while about that place, because we were there at the exact same time.
Marc:I was only there for less than a year.
Guest:You were only there for less than a year?
Marc:That first time.
Guest:Wow, my memory of you being there was so big.
Marc:Well, that's because I was in it, man.
Guest:You were in the dirty, yeah.
Marc:Yeah, and I was like part of it.
Marc:Like I was one of those guys, and there's only a few of us really, but I, where like that place was like, oh, this is my, this has been my home for centuries.
Marc:Like I belong at this place.
Marc:I am part of it.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So like I was there all the time.
Marc:I was there during the fucking day making coffee and shit.
Marc:And by the time she put me up in that house, I mean, I was answering phones.
Marc:I was driving the Jeep.
Marc:I was getting hurt shit.
Jesus.
Marc:I was working the lot.
Marc:I was the head door guy.
Guest:Wow.
Marc:I was like, it was all, and I was doing a lot of blow.
Guest:Oh, my God, Mark.
Guest:Yeah, you were.
Yeah.
Guest:You know, as I was driving over here, because I knew we would get to the blow part, I was thinking to myself, I feel very grateful about the weirdest things in my life during that early period.
Guest:A, that I was a stripper and I can handle the guys.
Guest:But B, that wasn't my drug.
Guest:I just didn't care for it.
Guest:And I feel so fucking lucky about that.
Marc:There was no—you know, because, like, I don't think I was really a fully formed person.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And there was no kind of lid to my brain.
Marc:Like, I was just so game and so lit up by it all.
Marc:And I had this weird, naive trust of things.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And it took me years to realize what fucking monsters comedians are.
Marc:I mean, I'm my own monster.
Marc:But, like, I was in—I was in—
Marc:the circle with real fucking monsters.
Guest:Yeah, you were.
Marc:You were.
Marc:And I just remember they got to a point there where there was some sort of like, even maybe this was my misinterpretation of your kind of how you were looking at me.
Marc:I think that eventually people were like, that guy's in trouble.
Guest:Well, when I think about you back in the, I just, I always remember you wearing like a trench coat and you were kind of,
Guest:dark and negative yeah i mean i've been around you yeah in so many parts of my life it's really interesting isn't it yeah it's it's to me right now it's so fun to be at the comedy store and to like stand with don barris and be like can you fucking believe it's you me and maren can you fucking believe we're the three that lasted
Marc:Right, that lasted or that still come around.
Guest:Yes, yes, yes.
Guest:What's wrong with us?
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:Well, Binder's back, and that was before our time.
Guest:Yeah, he went and did my show, Age Against the Machine.
Guest:I was like, hey, come do.
Guest:You haven't done it in 20 years.
Guest:And I was like, I blame you.
Marc:It's a little weird because like, like I, you know, when I interviewed him, he didn't want to have anything to do with the comedy.
Marc:So now, you know, you can't get rid of him.
Marc:And what's funny is he's literally behaving like he's 25 years old.
Marc:He's literally sort of like, I don't know, man, I can't get spots and fuck this place.
Guest:I'm like, dude, you're a world famous director.
Guest:Move the fuck along.
Marc:You're in your 60s.
Guest:What are you, 22?
Guest:It is funny.
Guest:It's like one of my best friends who was here shortly, Jessica, who's also a comedian.
Guest:And she was first girl door guy at the comedy store and stuff.
Guest:But it's so funny how the same stuff still goes on about someone is becoming a regular and I'm still this.
Guest:They all do it.
Marc:It's amazing that the system's still in place.
Guest:Yes, yes.
Marc:A bunch of door people just got passed the other day.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Like two days ago.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was a big deal.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's always a big deal when you get passed.
Marc:Yeah, I forget.
Guest:Were you there when they put your name on the wall?
Marc:No, I had such a convoluted... It took me years to get on that fucking wall.
Marc:When I lost my mind, I was a non-paid regular.
Marc:I was just this weird fucking kid that ended up breaking glasses in the parking lot.
Yeah.
Marc:Because I got kicked out of the group.
Marc:Fucking... You know, I was falling out with fucking the fat man.
Marc:And, you know, it just got weird.
Marc:And I just remember I was losing my mind.
Marc:Anyway, I just remember asking Majid in the parking lot.
Guest:Oh, the drug dealer Majid.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Like, you know, dude, I don't know what I should do, man.
Marc:And he was like, you got to go do your own thing.
Marc:And I'm like, when the drug dealer's telling you to split, I'm like, I better go then.
Guest:I know.
Guest:I remember when you left and everyone was like, Mark's out.
Guest:Maren's out.
Guest:I know.
Guest:And we were all like, fuck, about time.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I got under people's skin.
Marc:I just had this, I just would push that Sam.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And he was such an explosive fuck.
Marc:It was destined to happen.
Marc:It was the best thing that could ever happen.
Guest:Oh, 100%.
Marc:But, like, so when you're watching all that—so, well, let's talk about that, the idea.
Marc:Like, did you have women friends at the store?
Marc:I mean, was there anyone there?
Guest:I will say at that time that women were—it's such a—
Guest:kind of crazy conversation because still to this day, if you take those old lineups and put them against the lineups that are now, there were probably more women working then.
Marc:For sure, at that place.
Guest:At the store, then kind of, now it's getting better, but
Guest:It was a lot.
Marc:I remember watching them all.
Marc:Carrie Snow.
Guest:Oh, yes.
Marc:And Karen Haber.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Kathy Ladman, who I just had her on.
Guest:I didn't appreciate when I was younger, but now I'm like, holy cow, Kathy Ladman.
Guest:I didn't appreciate Elaine Boozer.
Guest:She wasn't necessarily a comedy store act.
Guest:But, you know, back then, there were so few women, it's like you were kind of pitted against each other.
Marc:But it also was weird at the store is that it's much more hostile now in a way.
Guest:You think?
Marc:A little bit.
Marc:Because, like, I remember, like, at the store when I was working the door in the main room in those lineups, it's like Janice Hart would go on with her weird props.
Marc:And I don't remember there being trouble.
Marc:And Karen Haber would go on.
Marc:And she was pretty, you know, there wasn't the defensiveness.
Marc:And Ladman is a joke writer.
Marc:There was a sense of what comedy was, you know.
Marc:And people were watching it.
Marc:It was like watching television.
Marc:It's like when you watch Dreesen now or you watch Argus, those guys still kill because they speak in the tone of what people grew up with.
Marc:And I just think at the store, it was more polite in my mind than it is now.
Marc:I don't remember there being a ton of problems with audiences.
Guest:Oh, with audiences?
Guest:It was hard for me at that time.
Guest:I can only speak to my experience at that time.
Guest:It was hard for me because we were kind of pitted against each other.
Guest:So sometimes the women, I don't think it was consciously.
Guest:I know they were not cool to me.
Guest:Carrie Snow was so fucking mean to me, and I can say this because we've resolved it and we've talked about it many times.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:She was kind of very sarcastic and mean and so much so that I had to block people out of my view because they were just so not supportive.
Guest:Now I feel it's different with women in comedy are pretty supportive of each other.
Guest:And then when I had stopped doing comedy, my kids were little.
Guest:I was at the grocery store, like at a Gelson's.
Guest:And I see some woman running up to me.
Guest:I hadn't seen her in 20 years.
Guest:She's like, oh, my God, I love your social media posts.
Guest:I love that you're back doing comedy.
Guest:And I literally said to her, Carrie, you were so fucking mean to me at the store.
Guest:She was really cruel, would call me dummy, you know, to make the guys laugh.
Yeah.
Guest:And she goes, you know what?
Guest:You're right.
Guest:And that wasn't you.
Guest:It was my issues.
Guest:It wasn't your issues.
Guest:And I was totally fine after that.
Marc:Well, it's so weird that if you live long enough, you resolve this shit.
Guest:Yeah, absolutely.
Marc:And like Kathy, I just talked to Ladman.
Marc:She was a joke writer.
Marc:And these people were writing these bits.
Marc:It's like in my recollection of it,
Marc:There was always a lot of women on the lineups there, at least in the main room.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:The original room was, I don't, well, Tamayo was around.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But I definitely remember Haber, Babbitt, Jan Hart, and Carrie sometimes.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Tamayo.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Judy Gold came in later, a little bit later.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:She's more our age.
Marc:But originally the idea of the belly room was for women.
Marc:I don't know what that looked like or when that happened.
Yeah.
Guest:That was before we got there.
Guest:I know, yeah.
Guest:That was before I got there.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And, yeah.
Guest:They did like a Girls of the Comedy Store, but I missed that by a few years.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So, thankfully.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But it feels like it's a little more balanced over there these days.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I'll tell you who I think about all the time when that period of the Comedy Store.
Guest:And I'm going to use the word shelter because I'm looking right at that poster.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Who I felt shelter with.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Charlie Hill.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Charlie Hill was an American Indian.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Sweet guy.
Guest:Sweet guy did the Tonight Show.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:And he was one of those guys.
Guest:If he talked to you, there was no ulterior motive.
Guest:He was solid citizen.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he hung out with the danger element of the comedy show, but he was not.
Guest:No.
Guest:And he was so super cool to me that the other fellows kind of fell in.
Guest:And it was because of Charlie Hill and Mooney in a sense.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because when I was first there, I didn't get any support from the women.
Guest:I got support from Mitzi though.
Guest:And she totally changed my life.
Guest:And the men were just talking to me like if they did, like I was the idiot.
Guest:And for me, it changed with Charlie Hill.
Guest:And then one night I had to follow Mooney.
Guest:And Mooney was doing his...
Marc:Jesus Christ, what time was that spot?
Marc:Two in the morning?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Guest:So I was up there talking about, you know, my sex jokes, you know, pussy, pussy, pussy.
Guest:And the crowd was not having it.
Guest:And then I said, oh, Mooney can get up here and say the N-word all night long.
Guest:And the crowd, like, hated me.
Guest:But Mooney laughed so hard.
Guest:And then right after that, he was so cool to me.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Because of Charlie Hill and Paul Mooney.
Guest:The others kind of fell in.
Marc:So what happens with your comedy ultimately?
Marc:When do you get the hang of it?
Guest:With my comedy?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, you were there for a while and you said you weren't getting over.
Guest:I was, you know, it was starting to happen.
Guest:But, you know, back then it was right before the HBO specials started happening.
Guest:But I was, you know, people just weren't taking me very seriously because I was like, huh?
Guest:and all that kind of stuff, being dumb and young.
Guest:And then I got a chance to be on Star Search.
Guest:I auditioned for Star Search.
Guest:And the way Star Search worked, did you ever do it, by the way?
Marc:No.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You sound a little angry about it, Mark.
Marc:No, it was never like it was my reasons for doing comedy were never for business reasons.
Marc:Like I never I know it really took me a long time to grasp why the fuck I was even doing it.
Marc:Like, it's so funny because your memories of me are all these sort of like running around in my overcoat and sweaty and angry.
Marc:But no one remembers my comedy of that time.
Guest:No, I don't even, Mark.
Guest:I got to be honest.
Marc:How would you have seen it unless you were up in the belly room with me and John Nick of Forest and all the fucking doorman?
Guest:So anyway, Mark, I have to say this though.
Guest:I remember then you go away, right?
Guest:You go to Boston or Phoenix or rehab or something.
Marc:I went to rehab and then went back to Boston.
Guest:And then five years later, maybe four years later, I hook up with a gentleman that's going to be my husband.
Guest:We're divorced now.
Guest:And he wants to manage comedians, right?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:Wasn't he managing comedians by the time you met him?
Guest:no oh wow no no not at all so uh it kind of turned into that pretty shortly but not not at all at that moment yeah so he came home and he says i'm gonna sign mark marron and i was like what the fuck i'm not paying the rent on this place for you to fucking go and sign mark marron
Guest:I was like, are you insane?
Guest:He dresses like an after school shooter.
Guest:Are you fucking insane?
Guest:He's like, no, he's really fun.
Guest:And I was like, I was like, oh, my God, I hooked up with a loser.
Guest:I was like, he has no taste.
Guest:Because I hadn't seen you.
Marc:I know.
Guest:And you were such a mess at the store.
Marc:That was probably 1989?
Marc:No, 92 maybe?
Guest:Yeah, because then we went to the San Francisco Laugh-Off.
Guest:The comedy competition, yeah.
Guest:Comedy competition.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then that's the first time I can say that I really saw your comedy.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And you saw my roots.
Marc:I mean, at that time, I was just like a dark, I was of the ilk of what we come from.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:But I do remember that, like, what the fuck?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But I pursued him because, like, I think the first guy he represented was Rhodes.
Guest:Tom Rhodes.
Guest:Right.
Marc:So, like, when I was in San Francisco at Rhodes, I'm like, this guy manages you?
Marc:Well, if he's going to manage you, fuck it.
Marc:He'll manage me.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Meanwhile, I'm at home.
Guest:What the fuck?
Guest:And I think he signed Louie around that time too.
Marc:Did he?
Guest:It might have been around that time.
Marc:I have several lives in comedy because I was in Boston.
Marc:That's where I kind of restarted.
Marc:And there was this whole world of Barry Katzland where he signed everybody.
Marc:And then Louie was with the Martins.
Marc:And then like, I don't know.
Marc:I think it was probably a little later that he signed Louie.
Marc:But then eventually he signed everybody.
Marc:It's so good that he becomes like the biggest manager in fucking comedy.
Guest:And then we divorced.
Marc:But that's interesting, though, because like, you know, at that time, like I remember I'm trying to remember around that time because you were visible with what happened with Star Search.
Guest:So I went on Star Search and Star Search, I don't mean to belabor it or anything, but the way they filmed it is they filmed it in two sections.
Guest:One was generally kind of in the springtime and one was probably November-ish around that time.
Guest:And then they would pick a...
Guest:a semi-champion from each time.
Guest:And then the person that won in the spring, the semi-champ, would go against the person that wins in the fall.
Guest:So they had to wait like six months.
Guest:But for some reason, the year that I was on, there hadn't been someone that had won repeatedly.
Guest:And so I just got a lucky spot where I literally only, because the sets were like two nights.
Guest:half minutes they were like super small sets like three minutes was it like but like for someone like he was like two and a half minutes clean i know i know i know seriously that's what it was people like i can say they were all so mean to me at the comedy store but when i got to that position where like now i'm gonna go against the the semi champ and it's for the money because you won like a hundred thousand dollars in 91 that was a lot of money yeah
Guest:And that people, the old Grizzlies, would come out at the comic store.
Guest:They'd be like, slowly pass me a joke over.
Guest:You might want to use this.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah, but I didn't do it because I just knew.
Guest:I was treated like such an idiot.
Guest:I'm like, if I take people's jokes, it's not going to be good.
Guest:It's not going to be good.
Guest:They'll all come after me.
Guest:And miraculously, I won.
Guest:So I won Star Search.
Guest:Who was the other comic?
Marc:Who were you up against?
Guest:I went against Bob Zaney.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Guest:And Carrot Top was within it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I went against this woman comic named Leslie Norris.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And, yeah, so it wasn't.
Guest:And then we moved to New York.
Marc:You and Dave.
Guest:And then he kind of started the Luna comedy thing.
Marc:Right.
Marc:I remember that original office in New York.
Guest:Yeah, it was like one room.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Dave Minor was in a closet.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
I know.
Marc:And now they're the biggest fucking managers in the world.
Marc:Those two guys.
Marc:I was always so rude to Minor because I'm like, what do you do?
Marc:Who are you?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:My fundamental lack of respect for that part of the business didn't help me.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because you had every fucking chance.
Did I?
Yeah.
Marc:Well, that was I think like those opportunities that I had over the years were the fact was that people thought they knew who I was.
Marc:So they tried to they're like, oh, he's got control of this cranky guy.
Marc:But I had no control.
Marc:I had no sense of anything.
Marc:I didn't know how the business worked.
Marc:So I wasn't ready for anything.
Marc:But I did have a lot of shots.
Guest:You had every shot, Mark.
Marc:Come on.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But you know what I love about you, Mark?
Guest:I love that.
Guest:You had every shot.
Guest:It wasn't the right fit anything.
Guest:And you found the thing that elevated you on your own 100%.
Marc:In my 40s.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But still, I just remember Dave was like, dude, these VH1, these are great spots for you.
Marc:And he's got me doing these VJ fucking because, yeah, that's what you get.
Marc:Go try to do this.
Marc:Then the game show on fucking VH1.
Marc:I mean, are you fucking kidding me?
Marc:Like I was sitting there throwing the Tony Braxton videos.
Marc:I'm like, you know, in clothes that weren't mine.
Marc:And Becky's like, this will be good, man.
Marc:I'll teach you.
Marc:You'll learn something.
Guest:I'm like, what the fuck am I learning?
Guest:But I do remember when Dave started the Luna Lounge thing.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I remember a specific night.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it was first time I'd seen you sit on a chair.
Marc:The beginning of the stool.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The beginning of the school.
Guest:And I remember because like, oh yeah, you know, after he signed you and I'd seen you quite a bit, but I remember the shift that night at Luna Lounge and you said a joke about people's garages are like a museum of lost hobbies.
Guest:And you did a bunch of material where I was like, holy shit.
Guest:whole i remember that in new york at luna lounge yeah like i remember watching us probably i have lots of photos that i took of you yeah and i just remember like wow i'm finding the thing because it was so eye-opening like you know people sometimes it takes 10 for sure yeah for sure the museum of forgotten copies right oh yeah you go to the merry guy's house oh yeah i don't know i was thinking with the tuba i remember yeah
Guest:But you had all this material where it was the first time I really saw Mark.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I just remember that night.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's in the mid 90s.
Marc:Well, thank you.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But like, OK, so but like after like Star Search, do you does this mean you work?
Guest:As a comic?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I was headlining all over.
Guest:That was a big thing, right?
Guest:I headlined for like probably five to seven years straight.
Marc:Put out CD?
Guest:Yeah, of course.
Guest:35 weeks a year.
Marc:Wow.
Guest:And it really ruined my comedy.
Guest:It just kind of ruined me.
Marc:It did?
Yeah.
Guest:Doing 35 weeks.
Guest:Those were long weeks, like Tuesday through Sunday.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And you would do like 10 weeks at a time.
Guest:Oh, man.
Guest:I didn't even have a cell phone.
Marc:Didn't you get like best female comic one year?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:That's good.
Guest:Yeah, it was fun.
Marc:How did it ruin you, though?
Marc:Just mentally, emotionally, or the comedy?
Guest:It just makes, you know, it's all, as we know, all different now.
Guest:But, you know, you could really float your act for a good decade back then.
Guest:And it made you so sick of it.
Guest:Stagnant.
Guest:I just got so sick of it, you know.
Guest:And then during that time when the whole alternative scene happened, I was the same age as everybody else.
Guest:But because I started so young...
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I got kind of like piled into the old guy section of comedy.
Guest:So to me, when the alternative comedy scene happened, I was just like amazed.
Marc:Like, you know, when did you decide to take a break?
Guest:Well, I was living in New York, and I was doing about 35 weeks a year to that, and I was just like, you know, I wanted to have a kid.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I was just like, I can't do this anymore.
Guest:So I had always taken a camera with me.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:I remember.
Guest:And so I was just like, you know, I need to be creative in a different way now.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And it was interesting because, like, I would see you, and you were, like, so...
Marc:Like a lot of times, you know, when you see people that are around that don't do it anymore, which is rare.
Guest:Yeah, it's rare.
Marc:There's a moment sort of like, well, I guess she's just doing the picture.
Marc:But it didn't feel that way.
Marc:Like right away, you're sort of like, oh, she's taking pictures of us.
Marc:And she's one of us.
Marc:And she's like fucking, you know, this is this is good.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:When I started doing photography and I would take classes like at the new school at NYU and all that kind of stuff, did a little film stuff there and all that.
Guest:And then I quit, but then I got nominated for the comedy award.
Guest:And so I kind of came back a little bit, but then my kid came.
Guest:But then I was like, who can...
Guest:I want to do like a photojournalistic style story.
Guest:Like, who do I know that's fascinating?
Guest:What people that are doing something edgy?
Guest:And like six months later, I was like, well, fucking comedians, dumbass.
Guest:So I kind of documented that whole scene then.
Marc:It was wild.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And then like it became a show, right?
Marc:Did it become a book as well?
Guest:What did?
Marc:All the photographs.
Guest:Oh, you know, I'm working on a book.
Guest:Yeah, that's like my long term.
Marc:But didn't it show somewhere?
Guest:Yes, it won a prize in France.
Guest:That's amazing.
Guest:Yeah, from some big competition.
Guest:I made a couple short films.
Guest:They did pretty well on the circuit, did those kind of things.
Guest:Wait, I think I saw one of those.
Guest:Maybe.
Guest:What was it called?
Guest:uh in the weeds yeah what was that about it was about uh uh my aunt who was so religious she was evil you know like this kind of person yeah and we were both in mitch's movie yes yes that's crazy yeah yeah the movie that heart you can't find yes hedberg's movie yeah yeah that was a crazy time
Marc:It was a crazy time, man.
Guest:That was such a crazy time.
Marc:Because, you know, we're all... Where were we?
Marc:Minnesota?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And he flew us all out?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And then, like, oh, it was... It was such a crazy time.
Guest:Like, I can't give people eye contact, but I'm going to direct a movie.
Guest:I was like, okay.
Okay.
Marc:And I don't even remember him directing.
Marc:I remember doing the movie.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And I remember him telling me what was up, but he was also in it as well.
Guest:Yes, yes.
Marc:But you were really good friends with Jana, right?
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:I remember.
Marc:You were kind of part of the production somehow.
Guest:I was assistant director.
Guest:It went to Sundance that movie, yeah.
Marc:You were the one directing it, really.
Guest:Well, I wouldn't say that.
Guest:He directed it.
Marc:No, I know, but he was in it.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:But you were like the point person.
Marc:Were you going to talk to Mitch?
I don't know.
Guest:Isn't that such a crazy time?
Guest:Attell was in it.
Guest:Everyone was in it.
Guest:Everyone was in it.
Marc:But the photography thing, that worked out for you for a while, huh?
Guest:It worked out pretty well for me.
Guest:I really learned how to do it.
Guest:And I was a staff photographer for Just for Laughs a couple years before the pandemic.
Guest:And then for the Comedy Pro events.
Guest:And then I've been working on documentaries, doing stills.
Guest:I worked on the Bob Einstein documentary.
Guest:And I worked on a documentary recently about Charles Fox, the guy that wrote Killing Me Softly.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:Where I got to go to Paris and photograph.
Guest:And now I'm working on a Julie Andrews-Blake Edwards untitled project.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah, and camera operating and IT work.
Marc:Are they alive?
Guest:Julie Andrews is, yeah.
Marc:No shit.
Marc:So you get to meet her and talk to her?
Guest:oh my god i was it was such a pressure cooker because they were interviewing her yeah then uh you know okay you have you know one minute to get her picture and like you don't want to mess up with julia yeah so i'm take five like clicks and she's like looks at me very sweetly and is like you got it right and it's like yes ma'am it's like talking to mitzi about a joke like okay i'm
Guest:I'm going to slink off now.
Guest:Same vibe, same vibe.
Guest:Sweet lady.
Guest:Beautiful lady.
Guest:She looks great.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And were you around for, like, were you within the circle when Sam died or is it, you were gone, right?
Marc:That was over.
Guest:That was, I had moved to, because we were in New York at that time, probably at the same time.
Guest:And, uh, uh,
Marc:I remember hearing about it.
Marc:I think I was in San Francisco for some reason.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I don't remember what year that was, but I think I was living in San Francisco.
Marc:Is that possible?
Guest:It might have been right before you moved to New York.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So, yeah, that was.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He is, you know, it's a big conversation, isn't it?
Marc:Well, we kind of really knew him.
Marc:I know.
Guest:You know when people come up and they're like, oh my God, Sam Kinison was such a nice guy to me.
Guest:And it's just like, you're talking, you know, you're like dead to me because that is not the scenario at all.
Guest:You didn't hang around long enough.
Guest:I remember once he was so drunk, he was standing outside of, you know, when they let people out of the main room in the back.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he was dropping, it was like two in the morning, dropping his pants every time someone would walk by and he'd drop his pants, go, remember when this would get a laugh?
Guest:He would do that.
Guest:That's my Kinison.
Yeah.
Marc:His sweatpants?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:And then he was so fucked up.
Guest:You know how fucked up you have to be when other comics in 1989 or whatever year that is is like, yeah, I don't want to hang out with you, Sam.
Guest:I'm just not interested in your coke right now because you're that gross right now.
Marc:When he'd get drunk like that, it was the fucking worst.
Guest:Oh, it was terrible.
Guest:So then I said, he's like, I can't get in.
Guest:Malika, his wife, she won't let me in the house.
Guest:And I was like, oh, my roommate is gone.
Guest:You can sleep in her room.
Guest:I had this weird roommate.
Guest:So I lived kind of by the laugh factory.
Guest:So we went to my house.
Guest:And I've always been into vintage things like lunch boxes and stuff.
Guest:And I had.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:I remember you had a bunch of lunchboxes.
Guest:Yeah, I have a bunch of lunchboxes.
Guest:And I had, like, cartoon glasses.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, no.
Guest:And one was, like, Wendy the Good Witch.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And one was, like, you know.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:What was it?
Guest:Loghorn Leghorn.
Marc:Loghorn Leghorn.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it was.
Guest:Anyway, so we had a drink or whatever.
Guest:And then I was, like, all right.
Guest:But my roommate had locked her door.
Guest:I didn't even know she had a lock on it.
Guest:So we crashed in my bed, right?
Guest:And if you can imagine, gross, right?
Marc:Sweaty, drunk Sam.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:all fat and then he pops up at like four in the morning yeah and he's like oh shit i i got a gig i gotta get to gotta get on the plane i was like all right all right i'll see you later bye and nothing happened obviously right because you and then uh uh then a few hours later i'm still asleep and i get a call from the plane yeah and he's all like hey see my ferrari keys around and i and i'm like because he used to drive that ferrari and i'm like no i don't see him all right i'll talk to you later see you next week
Guest:And then six months later, had a young little boyfriend and we were having sex on my bed.
Guest:And his hand like kind of slid between the wall and my bed.
Guest:And he pulls up the Ferrari keys and he's like, what the fuck?
Marc:I better call Sam.
Marc:I know.
Guest:Shit.
Guest:And then years later, Dave was all like, did you have sex with Sam Kinison?
Guest:I was like, no, I didn't have sex with Sam Kinison.
Guest:Please.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:I'm surprised he swept in the bed.
Marc:The motherfucker was always sleeping on the floor at Crest Hill.
Marc:Always sleeping on the floor.
Marc:And then when I went over to his house once, you know, he swept on the floor there, too.
Marc:I'm like, the fuck, man?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Couldn't make it to the bed.
Marc:No, he liked the floor.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I know he liked fucking sweet face down on the floor.
Marc:I thought so.
Marc:Yeah, you know, there are moments where, you know, there are good moments with that guy.
Marc:But they're usually a mess.
Marc:But there are moments that you could talk about that are funny, you know.
Guest:For sure.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I also think there was so much cruelty.
Yeah.
Marc:Well, he was a mean bully of a fuck.
Marc:He was a mean guy.
Marc:Like he tried to, he literally after the falling out over whatever the fuck that was, that story is, he put the word out.
Marc:You know, he told Johnny Zap, don't work Marin.
Marc:Don't let Mark go to Solvang for the fucking weird gig where they got to improv at the end.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But, like, he's putting the fucking word out on me, and I'm 22, and I got barely 15 minutes.
Marc:I mean, that's fucked up.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I was so happy I got spit out.
Guest:And I was pretty friendly with Christy, which was Carl Love's wife at that time.
Guest:Yeah, me too.
Guest:Kind of.
Guest:And it was not okay how that went down.
Guest:Like, as a girl, sometimes you get, you know, because you're friends with the, you know, girlfriends and the wives and...
Guest:You know, that was not okay.
Guest:And I had a lot of anger about that.
Guest:And I had a lot of anger towards Carl.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:About that.
Marc:About the child support and about like, you know.
Guest:I just had a lot of anger like because...
Marc:Well, you're talking about her, like, having Sam's kid?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because I had a lot of anger of, you guys were older than us.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you can tell when someone, when it's an unfair thing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:When you're being a piece of shit to someone.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Who isn't capable of dealing with it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And might, should see a therapist.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I don't want to talk out of school necessarily on everything, but it was just not OK.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I think I might have said this to you before where Alan Stevens was one of the outlaws said to me, I think you might want to start thinking about the idea that maybe Carl could also be a victim of Sam.
Mm hmm.
Guest:And in that way, I found my friendship back with Carl.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I had to think about it in that way.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:A lot of drugs, man.
Guest:A lot of drugs.
Marc:And a lot of weirdness.
Marc:And, you know, like full on, like Sam was like, you know, an astronaut of fucking dark bullshit.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And Carl was just, the two of them were in it for the ride.
Guest:Right.
Marc:The one thing I, the best thing that happened to me was, you know, I won't,
Marc:You know, Mike Becker, who was Mitzi's assistant, used to call them satellite comics.
Marc:You know, these guys that would rotate around these people.
Marc:Because Sam would be like, I'm going to help you out, man.
Marc:And they don't.
Marc:They don't.
Marc:And there's nothing they can do.
Marc:And if you're going to hitch your fucking pony to a dude who's like bigger than you, it's a fucking losing game, man.
Guest:Especially if you're a third or fourth satellite.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I get being maybe the number one position satellite.
Guest:I guess.
Marc:Well, then you just get opening work for a while.
Guest:Right.
Marc:But still, it's not going to change your, you know.
Marc:I mean, I wasn't even inner circle.
Marc:I was just like, here's 300 bucks.
Marc:Go buy some shit for Crest Hill so we can come destroy the house you live in for three days.
Guest:Right.
Marc:But I loved it.
Marc:It wasn't my house.
Guest:Fuck it.
Marc:We were burning furniture up there.
Guest:I'm sure you were.
Yeah.
Marc:So now, like, I mean, the big arc of this story is you come back.
Guest:I came back.
Marc:It was sort of like, it wasn't that long ago.
Marc:You're like, she's back.
Guest:I did.
Guest:I took about 10 years off.
Marc:10 years.
Guest:For my kids.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I got divorced and I just had all this anger and nowhere to express it.
Guest:And so I go to the comedy store.
Guest:Tommy's there.
Guest:I said, Tommy.
Guest:Tommy.
Marc:Mitzi really wants you to go on second.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I was speaking for Mitzi.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I said, Tommy, you know, I want to get back to comedy.
Guest:And he said, you're too old.
Marc:Really?
Guest:He told me.
Guest:And he was so bold in it.
Guest:Made me laugh because I was like, damn, you are a bold bitch.
Guest:And so I didn't let it deter me and I just went around and again did the open mics.
Guest:It was harder doing it the second time coming to it than even the first time because you know what you're gambling on.
Guest:And I just started working my way back up, you know, and did Beauty and the Beast with Joey.
Guest:Joey, by the way, was such a champion to me.
Guest:The podcast, Beauty and the Beast.
Guest:The Beauty and the Beast podcast.
Guest:But Joey Diaz was a great guy.
Guest:I really love Joey.
Guest:And he was such a, you know, because when your ex-husband is in the biggest manager in comedy, it's really hard to get stage time.
Guest:And Joey's like, fuck him.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Marc:You think that had something to do with it?
Marc:That was a liability somehow?
Guest:Dave?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Just people knowing it?
Guest:I don't think it's a vicious thing.
Guest:I think it's just like, I got to do business.
Guest:I got my own family to worry about.
Guest:I'm not going to burn my bridge because of an ex-wife that wants to tell three minutes worth of jokes.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:And I'm not angry about it.
Guest:It's just that's how life is sometimes.
Marc:But, you know, he wasn't doing anything to get in your way.
Marc:It was the perception.
Guest:I think it was more the perception.
Guest:No, I can't say that.
Guest:That would be unfair.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:For sure.
Guest:No, no, no, no.
Guest:I think it was more the perception of, you know, because it was, you know, it is what it is.
Guest:You've been divorced.
Guest:You know.
Marc:I don't have kids, though.
Marc:So, like, you know, when you have kids, you're still in relationship one way or the other.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Right.
Marc:And you got to figure that shit out.
Guest:Yeah, you do.
Guest:Yeah, you do.
Marc:But you guys are all right, right?
Guest:Yeah, everything's great.
Marc:So how's comedy, though?
Marc:What's the big plan?
Marc:What are you doing?
Marc:You going out or are you just doing the store?
Guest:Well, I'm doing like a special in July.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:In Florida.
Guest:They're doing a bunch of them down there.
Guest:Who is?
Guest:It's through McCurdy's Comedy Theater, July 18th through 22nd.
Guest:And they're doing a bunch of people.
Guest:They're modeling it after the dry bar comedy specials.
Guest:They're calling it wet bar so you can be dirty.
Guest:And so that and doing the podcast, Liars Club.
Guest:Please go to the Comedy Store YouTube page and slobber all over.
Marc:I was on there.
Guest:You were on there.
Guest:You were awesome on there.
Guest:That was fun.
Guest:Bill Burr came on.
Guest:That was fun.
Guest:That was good.
Guest:That was a lot of fun.
Guest:And I've been just about to publish my first book.
Guest:Of the photos?
Guest:No, it's a fiction book, yeah.
Guest:Oh, wow.
Guest:So I've been doing that over the pandemic.
Marc:You did a lot of things.
Marc:It's nice that you found all those other avenues of creativity.
Guest:For sure.
Marc:Because a lot of times comedy, you just get stuck in it, man.
Guest:Well, this is what I want to ask you.
Guest:How come you never directed anything or did you direct something?
Marc:I didn't.
Marc:I directed a couple episodes of my own show, Maren, just to get in the guild.
Marc:But for me, oddly, the one thing I realized about myself is that I'm not great at long...
Marc:uh long game vision like you you know the idea of directing of what it takes to make a movie and then the idea that maybe no one will ever see that i gotta really love something to sort of get over the anxiety of committing a year to two years of my life right to something and then worry about whether or not it's good or anyone who even fucking see it to me it's sort of like i don't know like it kind of like the short-term gratification business
Guest:Well, like for yourself, what do you see yourself doing in three years comedy-wise?
Guest:Like what is it that ultimate – because you've done so much.
Guest:Like what is it that you ultimately want to do still?
Marc:I'm asking myself.
Marc:You know, this last special I did was like – the last two specials were the best I can do.
Marc:And I talked about everything I can talk about.
Marc:And because of the nature of my life, you know, these are ongoing conversations.
Marc:So it's not like I have kids growing up or anything like that.
Marc:You know, it is –
Marc:you know, what it is.
Marc:And I'm proud of those things.
Marc:But I don't know.
Marc:I got to figure out what what the next avenue is for me to talk about on stage.
Marc:I might direct I'm trying to option a friend of mine's book and I might, you know, try to make that into a movie.
Marc:And, you know, if if something challenging and exciting is offered to me as an actor, I'm curious to to do that.
Marc:You know, if I get more opportunity in that area.
Guest:Did you ever think it would go this far?
Guest:Like when you first came to the comedy store, did you ever think when you got kicked out of the circle, did you really ever think it would go like this?
Marc:Well, I was one of these weird people in that, you know, I really didn't have the concept of show business.
Marc:And I really looked at comedy as something, you know, special and something beyond selling tickets.
Marc:I looked to comics as, you know, profound people.
Marc:That were like that had a handle on things that were intelligent.
Marc:It was like some sort of, you know, divine thing to me.
Marc:So like I never really understood how the business worked or but eventually you're sort of like, well, I got to get a sitcom and all this other shit.
Right.
Marc:And I don't know.
Marc:I didn't ever see it.
Marc:Because Dave would, when I was with Dave forever, we'd have these weird opportunities, but I never seemed to get, I don't know.
Marc:I didn't think it would.
Marc:All I wanted to be was a great comic, and I wanted to get recognition as that.
Marc:And it kind of went around the side, and it's taken a lot of different ways.
Marc:But it worked out.
Yeah.
Guest:But no, I didn't think it would work.
Guest:Professionally.
Guest:Professionally.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The darkest time for you in comedy professionally.
Marc:Well, it was like, I just wasn't making money.
Marc:And I couldn't sell tickets, right?
Marc:So, you know, when I went through that second divorce and, you know, all my savings were going away from doing the radio job...
Marc:And just know before I started the podcast, just knowing that having done this for our whole life, you know what the life would look like as, you know, a relatively unknown headliner trying to make a living as a stand up and just really not wanting to do that.
Marc:It just sounds horrible.
Marc:It kills people.
Guest:It is horrible, Mark.
Marc:It just kills your spirit.
Guest:Oh, yeah, it does.
Guest:Yes, yes.
Marc:And I didn't know how it would pan out.
Marc:There was no default.
Marc:I never tried to be a writer or anything else.
Marc:I mean, I had enough respect of my peers and shit.
Marc:But that was the darkest time.
Marc:Is this what the rest of my life is going to be?
Guest:And did you ever think about quitting?
Marc:I thought about killing myself before quitting because there's so much pride tied up in this thing.
Marc:It's very hard to quit.
Marc:I mean, you've got to like literally do a self-imposed witness protection program.
Guest:I know.
Guest:It's true.
Guest:Like when I quit, I couldn't even look at comedy on TV.
Guest:Like I had to just divorce myself completely from it.
Guest:And then I'm married to like the biggest comedy manager.
Guest:And he'd be like, you want to go to this taping?
Guest:Fuck no.
Guest:I don't want to go to the table.
Guest:I hate comedy.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:It wasn't no joy ride for him either.
Guest:It was really hard to quit.
Marc:Yeah, I didn't see it as an option because I really couldn't conceive of what I would do.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But, you know, I'm just grateful that the cosmic timing, that something worked out.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Because like, and look, I'm not being condescending to guys out there just pounding the boards.
Guest:Absolutely not.
Guest:To get work.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But it's such a fucking hard life.
Guest:It is.
Marc:And somehow or another, I got through everything that I've been through with my soul intact.
Marc:That to sort of lose it that way, you know, was just terrifying to me.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So that was the darkest time.
Marc:What about you?
Guest:The darkest time was probably the time like before I quit, you know, because it was a time when alternative comedy was really coming into favor.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I wasn't, it was hard for me to weasel my way, even though I was photographing it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I just was a different animal than you guys were.
Guest:My thing was just so different, you know.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I just couldn't see.
Guest:Now I feel like I could do alternative.
Guest:You know, like it's the mainstream now.
Marc:But yeah, and it barely exists.
Marc:No one came out of that movement.
Marc:Really.
Guest:If you think about it.
Guest:You don't think so?
Guest:Like Patton?
Marc:Yeah, but he started in clubs.
Guest:They started in clubs.
Marc:We all started in clubs.
Marc:I mean, you know, Janine was a club act.
Marc:Patton was a Baltimore club act.
Marc:I mean, you know, it's if they I think they gained confidence in.
Marc:In the alternative world.
Marc:But like I was always a straight stand-up guy.
Marc:You know, it was just sort of like this is an opportunity for me to explore without the confinement of expectations of the road.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And I think a lot of us found our voice that way.
Marc:But most of us started regular.
Yeah.
Guest:Well, for me, that was a hard time, you know, because it was and it was also like I am 100 percent a person that wants to experience everything.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I just want to experience as much as I can.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You know, like that's why we're here.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I know.
Marc:I got to do more of that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:What do you want to experience?
Marc:Something.
Marc:I mean, like I mean, people tell me that joy is pretty good.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Same old Mark.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'll find it.
Marc:You'll find it.
Guest:You'll find it.
Marc:You'll find it.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I feel like, sadly, most of what stops me from experiencing things is just, you know, it's just weird anxiety and dread.
Marc:You know, I'd like to travel and stuff, but part of my brain is like, well, what am I going to do when I get there?
Marc:I mean, what do you do?
Marc:Do you just walk around?
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:But I think that's easing up a little bit.
Marc:Like when I go on the road now, I'm more than happy.
Marc:I got to be on the fucking road.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I don't like being away from my house because I was just worried about bullshit, but like, I don't like, you know, I like being in hotels and stuff, but you know, I should go see things.
Guest:Yeah, for sure.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I got figured out.
Guest:I'll make a list.
Guest:I'm sure you will.
Marc:Good talking to you.
Guest:Thank you, Mark.
Marc:There you go.
Marc:There you go.
Marc:You can check out Felicia Michaels dot net for her comedy dates and check out her podcast of the Liars Club wherever you get podcasts.
Marc:And that was a that was a back in the day talk all the way up to the present.
Marc:Hang out for a minute, people.
Marc:Okay, look, we've got more stuff on the Full Marin this week that you can't hear anywhere else, including exclusive stuff from our guests, like this clip of me and Rachel Weisz talking about Lou Reed.
Marc:I met Lou when I was in college, and I had gone down to a record store where he was signing new sensations.
Marc:And I waited online, and I really wanted to ask an important question.
Marc:And I ended up saying, so what gauge pick do you use, Lou?
Marc:Because I'm a guitar player.
Marc:And he goes, you got to use medium, man.
Marc:Got to use medium.
Marc:So I used mediums for a long time because Lou said so.
Guest:That's a lovely story.
Guest:Do you still use mediums?
Marc:I don't, but I have the story.
Marc:Did you meet him?
No.
Guest:I did meet him a couple of times.
Guest:In New York?
Guest:In New York.
Guest:Once at the Coney Island Film Festival.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I think he and Laurie were the king and queen.
Guest:Like they have every year there's a little pageant in Coney Island.
Guest:And they were the Neptune and whatever Mrs. Neptune is.
Guest:And someone tried to take his picture and he was like, we don't do that in New York.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:He was just like, yeah, yeah.
Marc:Subscribe to the full Marin in the episode description and click on the link to ask me anything.
Marc:Now I'm going to play some guitar.
Marc:I'm just experimenting with old 70s rock things that sound familiar but probably aren't quite what you think it is.
Marc:But I'm learning.
Marc:I'm going to do some Mixolydian noodling soon.
Marc:Yeah, it's going to happen.
Yeah.
so
guitar solo
guitar solo
guitar solo
guitar solo
Guest:Boomer lives.
Guest:Monkey and Levanda.
Guest:Cat angels everywhere.
Guest:I'm learning some new scales.
Guest:This is all going to be different soon.