Episode 1311 - Caroline Rhea

Episode 1311 • Released March 7, 2022 • Speakers detected

00:00:00Marc:all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck buddies what the fuck nicks how's it going what's happening i'm mark maron this is my podcast wtf caroline ray is here today uh we go way back and we go way deep and we've done the thing she was she was on maron

00:00:29Marc:She was like on one of the early episodes, like episode eight before it was even an interview show.

00:00:34Marc:She just had a baby, I think, when we talked.

00:00:37Marc:That was like 2009.

00:00:37Marc:So a lot has happened since, but she's still operating at the same frequency.

00:00:42Marc:She's on this new show called LOL, Last One Laughing Canada, which is a comedy competition show streaming on Prime Video.

00:00:51Marc:But always funny, always a bit intense somehow.

00:00:56Marc:But these are long grooves, man.

00:01:00Marc:I've got a neural pathway specifically designated for Caroline Ray.

00:01:05Marc:Did I mention my cardiologist appointment?

00:01:08Marc:Did I?

00:01:09Marc:In my journey of decay and aging, I'm talking in serious radio voice today.

00:01:14Marc:Sometimes it just happens.

00:01:15Marc:I can hear it in my voice when I throw a switch in my throat and something happens.

00:01:23Marc:But I did.

00:01:24Marc:I went to the cardiologist because I was in a minor spiral post-COVID that I picked up some renegade information about heart problems post-COVID.

00:01:37Marc:But even though they are rare, they primarily happen to those who are unvaccinated.

00:01:41Marc:I am vaxxed to the max.

00:01:42Marc:I am vaxxed up my ass.

00:01:44Marc:I'm vaxxed.

00:01:45Marc:But anyways, I was in enough panic to sway my provider to give me a referral to my cardiologist.

00:01:56Marc:My cardiologist.

00:01:57Marc:I haven't seen this guy in four years.

00:01:59Marc:I saw him once, four years ago.

00:02:01Marc:Can't even remember why.

00:02:03Marc:Yeah, I do.

00:02:03Marc:I remember.

00:02:04Marc:I had high numbers or something.

00:02:06Marc:So anyway, I go to the cardiologist.

00:02:08Marc:I go to the guy.

00:02:10Marc:And look, man, the first visit, it was great.

00:02:16Marc:What an uplifting visit.

00:02:18Marc:Because I was there four years ago because I have a little plaque in my pump.

00:02:22Marc:Not unlike a lot of people, but I had more plaque than probably necessary.

00:02:25Marc:It was probably from years of smoking.

00:02:27Marc:So I go back and he tests my blood pressure perfect.

00:02:32Marc:I'm the king of blood pressure.

00:02:35Marc:cholesterol is looking good it's looking good i'm on a slight and a little bit of medicine but the the pot cholesterol is good and then we did the ekg looks good so he says come back for a stress test fine i'll come back for that stress test in the ultrasound

00:02:54Marc:So I go back a week or so later.

00:02:56Marc:This was a few days ago.

00:02:58Marc:The ultrasound taken into a room.

00:03:02Marc:A woman lubes up my chest.

00:03:05Marc:And then starts doing the number, doing the ultrasound number.

00:03:09Marc:You can't see anything, but occasionally the sound will come on.

00:03:12Marc:And I'm like, that doesn't sound right.

00:03:18Marc:I'm like, that can't be good.

00:03:24Marc:That sounds even worse.

00:03:27Marc:What happened to boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

00:03:32Marc:All of a sudden it's like, boom, boom, boom, boom.

00:03:35Marc:And I'm like, are those good noises?

00:03:38Marc:They never tell you.

00:03:38Marc:The tech will never tell you.

00:03:40Marc:They're sworn to secrecy.

00:03:42Marc:They signed an NDA.

00:03:43Marc:They're not allowed to speculate, even though they know what the things indicate.

00:03:48Marc:They're not the doc.

00:03:49Marc:So I'm like, is that one bad?

00:03:54Marc:That can't be good.

00:03:55Marc:That doesn't sound right.

00:03:59Marc:Do any of them do boom, boom, boom, boom?

00:04:01Marc:The familiar beat?

00:04:03Marc:Why's it got to be this techno stuff?

00:04:05Marc:Huh?

00:04:07Marc:No information.

00:04:08Marc:So we do the ultrasound.

00:04:09Marc:Do the carotids with the ultrasound.

00:04:12Marc:We do the full pump.

00:04:14Marc:The full pump spectrum, I think, is what they call it in the biz, in the racket.

00:04:19Marc:In the cardiologist racket, it's called the full pump spectrum.

00:04:23Guest:Pew, pew, pew, pew.

00:04:26Marc:So I get that done.

00:04:27Marc:Then I got to get on the treadmill for the stress test.

00:04:31Marc:And I feel like the tech there was a little passive aggressive in thinking that I might not be able to pull it off.

00:04:38Marc:She's like, look, we're going to try to get to 160, a heart rate of 160 in three minute increments where there will be an increase in speed and in incline until we get to 160.

00:04:52Marc:You can stop any time before that.

00:04:53Marc:Just tell me when you're ready to stop.

00:04:55Marc:I'm like, I'm not stopping.

00:04:58Marc:Start this fucker.

00:04:59Marc:Let's do this.

00:05:00Guest:Boop, boop, boop.

00:05:04Marc:So we get going and it's, it's not, it's not hard at the beginning, but to get it up to like, cause mine, mine runs a little low.

00:05:11Marc:The guy said, that's fine.

00:05:12Marc:I questioned him again, the doc, but we get going on the stress test three minutes.

00:05:17Marc:Fine.

00:05:18Marc:We're going to, she says in, uh, you know, in 10 seconds, I'm going to incline higher, faster.

00:05:23Marc:Okay, do it.

00:05:24Marc:Another three minutes at that.

00:05:25Marc:And then another three minutes at that.

00:05:27Marc:And then, then it's hard, man.

00:05:29Marc:It's hard.

00:05:30Marc:And we're getting up there, but I'm like working.

00:05:33Marc:And she's like, okay, you've hit 160, but you can keep going if you want.

00:05:38Marc:Do I need to?

00:05:38Marc:She's like, no.

00:05:39Marc:So what would be the point of that?

00:05:40Marc:Didn't we achieve our goal?

00:05:42Marc:But some part of me was thought like, all right, I'll fucking keep going.

00:05:47Marc:Let's blow this hard up, man.

00:05:49Marc:Let's blow it up.

00:05:51Guest:Beep, beep, beep.

00:05:55Marc:So I hit the 160 and they got all the numbers together.

00:05:59Marc:Ultrasound bleeps, blips, boops, carotid, stress test.

00:06:06Marc:Doc, they hit me again with the blood pressure.

00:06:08Marc:Perfect.

00:06:09Marc:Doc says, well, look, everything's looking good.

00:06:12Marc:Great.

00:06:13Marc:He said, uh, the, uh,

00:06:17Marc:Carotids look good.

00:06:18Marc:A little bit more plaque, not bad.

00:06:20Marc:Stress test looks great.

00:06:22Marc:There was no indicators that are worrying.

00:06:26Marc:And the ultrasound's good.

00:06:27Marc:One of your valves doesn't close all the way.

00:06:30Marc:So I'll see you in a year.

00:06:31Marc:I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what?

00:06:33Marc:One of the valves doesn't close?

00:06:34Marc:One of the valves doesn't close all the way?

00:06:36Marc:What does that mean?

00:06:37Marc:Well, nothing.

00:06:37Marc:You come back in a year, you can exercise as much as you want.

00:06:40Marc:But wait, one of the valves doesn't close all the way?

00:06:43Marc:I mean, is that...

00:06:44Marc:No, just come back.

00:06:46Marc:Come back in a year and exercise as much as you want.

00:06:49Marc:I don't know what that means, but it doesn't sound correct, obviously.

00:06:54Marc:Everything's great except one of the valves doesn't close all the way.

00:06:58Marc:And your heart rate's very slow.

00:07:01Marc:Are you just not telling me because the condition that I have is just incurable?

00:07:06Marc:So you're like, fuck it, man.

00:07:08Marc:Be honest with the guy, give him the facts, but don't tell him that, you know, his heart is had enough.

00:07:15Marc:It's just slowing down.

00:07:16Marc:It's just like, I'm done.

00:07:18Guest:That's my valve.

00:07:29Guest:What's the matter with your heart?

00:07:30Guest:It doesn't close all the way.

00:07:36Marc:So that's my status.

00:07:38Marc:I got a little, I got a valve that's a little leaky and the rest is great.

00:07:49Marc:So that's just something I know now.

00:07:52Marc:Now I know that.

00:07:54Marc:Now I know that.

00:07:56Marc:Went on a hike with Kit, the cat girl.

00:08:00Marc:She's got a good eye for the scary shit, I guess.

00:08:02Marc:She's a horror fan.

00:08:04Marc:I'm not a horror fan.

00:08:05Marc:She's a horror fan, but it doesn't matter.

00:08:08Marc:We're on a little hike, and she sighted a black widow spider in a bush in its web.

00:08:15Marc:And I grew up in New Mexico, and I think I've seen black widows.

00:08:20Marc:But this was a perfect specimen of one.

00:08:25Marc:And I don't know that I've ever seen one.

00:08:27Marc:Intense.

00:08:29Marc:A life of fear of the Black Widow.

00:08:33Marc:The mythical Black Widow and all of its implications.

00:08:37Marc:To see the belly of a Black Widow in its web with that red hourglass.

00:08:42Marc:It's so defined.

00:08:42Marc:It's no question.

00:08:43Marc:There's no question you have to look.

00:08:45Marc:Like I remember when I was a kid, is that one?

00:08:46Marc:Do you see a red thing on it?

00:08:48Marc:This was clear, man.

00:08:50Marc:And it is a full on hourglass red dot on the belly of a black widow.

00:08:55Marc:And it was in its web.

00:08:55Marc:I took pictures of it.

00:08:56Marc:Very, very hard to focus.

00:08:57Marc:I got to get a better camera, get a better phone, better camera.

00:09:01Marc:But man, it was a life changing moment to see a real black widow because you have that moment.

00:09:06Marc:I don't know.

00:09:07Marc:You know, when you think you see somebody, is that a thing?

00:09:09Marc:Is that what it is?

00:09:10Marc:Is that what I think that's what it is?

00:09:13Marc:No doubt.

00:09:14Marc:It was like, I don't think I've ever seen one before.

00:09:16Marc:Not even at a fucking zoo where they have bugs in glass.

00:09:21Marc:Bugs in glass tanks.

00:09:23Marc:Some zoos have them.

00:09:24Marc:They have them with the lizards and stuff.

00:09:26Marc:But it was right there in the wild and I got pretty close with the camera.

00:09:29Marc:But it's not after me.

00:09:31Marc:But I think it changed my brain a little bit to see a real black widow.

00:09:34Marc:It's very exciting.

00:09:36Marc:Very exciting.

00:09:38Marc:Also...

00:09:40Marc:I did a very good set the other day.

00:09:44Marc:I will say that.

00:09:45Marc:Last week at Largo, I did some fucking, fucking solid riffing.

00:09:53Marc:Got a little dirty too.

00:09:54Marc:The dirty's coming back.

00:09:56Marc:It was welcome.

00:09:58Marc:It was welcomed.

00:09:59Marc:Out of nowhere, I was in my pants.

00:10:02Marc:And we all enjoyed it.

00:10:04Marc:Everybody involved.

00:10:05Marc:The whole audience enjoyed me being in my pants.

00:10:09Marc:Felt like the old days when I worked a little blue.

00:10:11Marc:I think me and Caroline get a little blue here.

00:10:15Marc:So brace yourself.

00:10:17Marc:She's a wild ride, Caroline.

00:10:20Marc:I mean, just conversationally.

00:10:22Marc:Just trying to, you know, trying to land.

00:10:25Marc:We're just trying to land here.

00:10:27Marc:She's on the show LOL, Last One Laughing Canada.

00:10:30Marc:It's a comedy competition show on Prime Video.

00:10:32Marc:She's one of my oldest friends in comedy.

00:10:36Marc:We hated each other, which meant we had to become fuck buddies.

00:10:40Marc:That's the blurb for the movie about us.

00:10:44Marc:All right, this is me talking to Caroline Ray.

00:10:50Marc:Thank you so much.

00:11:14Marc:And I know you pretty well.

00:11:15Marc:I was trying to think.

00:11:16Marc:Now, wait, what is this anniversary that today is?

00:11:20Marc:You said it was the day you moved to New York?

00:11:21Guest:It was the day I moved to New York in 1989.

00:11:23Guest:It's also my grandfather's birthday, so it was good luck.

00:11:26Guest:From Canada?

00:11:27Guest:Yeah, I moved to New York with $300.

00:11:29Guest:On March 3rd, 1989, my mother drove me to the city.

00:11:33Guest:And then she wanted me to drive back to, like, White Plains and take the train from there.

00:11:39Guest:And I was like, you're never going to let me go!

00:11:40Guest:Yeah.

00:11:41Guest:And she was like, thanks.

00:11:43Guest:I just didn't want to drive alone.

00:11:44Guest:And then I moved to New York with 300 bucks and bought a pair of earrings for $220 the next day.

00:11:52Guest:So then I lived on $80 and I would spend a dollar a day.

00:11:56Guest:I would eat a hot dog and that was it.

00:11:58Marc:I moved in with my sister.

00:12:01Marc:Right.

00:12:01Marc:But I mean, I feel like you probably had access to money if you needed it.

00:12:05Guest:No, for some reason I thought I was going to be really brave.

00:12:08Guest:I think all I wanted my dad to do was like pay for drama school.

00:12:12Marc:Yeah.

00:12:13Marc:But wait, let me ask you a question about the present.

00:12:15Marc:Why the fuck don't you move back to Canada?

00:12:18Guest:Right now?

00:12:18Guest:Yeah.

00:12:19Guest:Because I have a daughter who has a father who's American.

00:12:21Guest:I can't do that.

00:12:23Marc:Would you if you didn't?

00:12:24Guest:Look, I get hotter and hotter the older I get because of my passport and citizenship.

00:12:28Guest:Someone can marry me and flee.

00:12:30Guest:I'm thinking about it.

00:12:32Guest:Thank you.

00:12:33Guest:I'm only your entire age too old for you.

00:12:38Marc:Together.

00:12:39Marc:But we could convince them that it's legit because we have a history.

00:12:42Guest:Right.

00:12:42Guest:We could show them.

00:12:43Marc:We've been together for 40 years.

00:12:46Marc:Look at this picture.

00:12:49Guest:You haven't aged.

00:12:49Guest:Yeah, we could make that work.

00:12:50Marc:I have aged.

00:12:51Guest:You have not aged.

00:12:51Guest:You keep saying that.

00:12:52Guest:You haven't aged.

00:12:53Guest:You know what?

00:12:54Guest:I'm going to tell everybody what I said to you and how you responded.

00:12:58Guest:When I saw you, I said, you look too thin.

00:13:01Guest:And you said?

00:13:02Marc:Thank you.

00:13:03Guest:Exactly.

00:13:04Marc:I don't know what the problem is.

00:13:06Marc:I know when I'm too thin.

00:13:08Guest:You do?

00:13:08Marc:Yes.

00:13:09Marc:When?

00:13:09Marc:When my face starts looking drawn.

00:13:11Marc:When I look at pictures and I look like I'm just barely staying awake and my mouth is hanging open because I'm too... You do.

00:13:17Guest:You look the exact same to me.

00:13:19Guest:And I believe in 1989... Yeah.

00:13:21Guest:I either met you that year or I met you in 1990.

00:13:23Marc:It is almost... What is it?

00:13:25Marc:35 years?

00:13:26Guest:No.

00:13:26Guest:Don't say 35.

00:13:27Guest:It's only 33.

00:13:28Guest:It's weird.

00:13:31Marc:What year did I meet you?

00:13:34Guest:Because you had been in Boston...

00:13:36Marc:Well, I was going back and forth, right?

00:13:38Marc:So, like, it was probably around 88, 89, because I started going to New York.

00:13:43Marc:Like, I moved into that apartment in New York in 89.

00:13:46Guest:Okay.

00:13:46Marc:Where we would listen to records.

00:13:49Marc:Did we?

00:13:49Marc:Did I have a few records?

00:13:51Marc:Was it records?

00:13:52Guest:Yes.

00:13:53Marc:Because I also remember... No, but I remember... No, what do you think?

00:13:55Guest:It was VHS tapes?

00:13:56Guest:No, or eight tracks?

00:13:57Guest:No.

00:13:57Marc:We met before that apartment.

00:13:59Marc:We met... Because I remember being...

00:14:02Marc:I think the first time that we ever hung out friendly.

00:14:08Marc:No, we hated each other on site, if you remember.

00:14:11Marc:That lasted like 10 minutes, and the next thing I remember, we were having sex somewhere.

00:14:14Guest:No, we were making out in a car.

00:14:16Guest:Like you hated me, and I think that night- I remember thinking, God, I hate this guy.

00:14:20Guest:He is just so offensive.

00:14:23Guest:And your jokes.

00:14:25Guest:I remember you had a joke, and I was like, that is very funny.

00:14:27Guest:I saw you on like-

00:14:29Guest:MTV half hour or something.

00:14:30Marc:Angrily funny?

00:14:31Guest:Angrily.

00:14:32Guest:I was like, oh, he's so funny.

00:14:33Guest:But you had the most, I'm sorry, but like the most gorgeous mouth.

00:14:36Guest:And I remember thinking that.

00:14:38Guest:Yeah.

00:14:39Guest:Luckily, it's covered by a mustache so I can contain myself now.

00:14:42Guest:Oh, thank God.

00:14:42Guest:No, and then we were making it in the back of a car.

00:14:44Marc:Yeah, but that wasn't in town, was it?

00:14:47Marc:Who was driving?

00:14:49Guest:No, we were making out in a car.

00:14:50Marc:It wasn't a cab.

00:14:51Marc:It was somebody was driving.

00:14:52Guest:They just got out of the car.

00:14:54Marc:No, it wasn't a cab.

00:14:56Marc:God.

00:14:57Marc:Well, here's the thing is I know that we met before I got that apartment because I remember being with you when my cousin had that apartment.

00:15:06Guest:I was going to say your cousin.

00:15:07Guest:I remember that apartment on 14th Street.

00:15:09Marc:Yeah, the Zeckendorf building with the pyramids on top.

00:15:11Guest:Right.

00:15:11Marc:And that's where I would stay sometimes when I'd come to New York if she wasn't there.

00:15:15Guest:I perhaps have seen that apartment a few times.

00:15:17Guest:I kind of remember it.

00:15:18Guest:Yes.

00:15:19Marc:I remember it.

00:15:20Marc:I remember.

00:15:20Marc:I remember a couple of incidents.

00:15:23Guest:Really?

00:15:24Guest:Just a couple?

00:15:24Guest:Yeah.

00:15:25Guest:I remember this.

00:15:26Guest:There's a long arc to our friendship.

00:15:29Guest:Don't you remember my Upper East Side apartment?

00:15:31Marc:Yeah, the huge apartment where it was like, is this a circle?

00:15:34Marc:Are we going into different rooms?

00:15:36Marc:It's like the biggest apartment I've ever seen in New York.

00:15:38Marc:You're like, here's the kitchen.

00:15:39Marc:Here's the other kitchen.

00:15:41Marc:What is this?

00:15:42Guest:My kosher kitchen.

00:15:43Guest:Yeah.

00:15:43Guest:As opposed to your apartments, which were like- I just remember your apartment.

00:15:47Marc:I had to be afraid to sit on anything.

00:15:48Guest:Your apartment, there was no foreplay.

00:15:50Guest:It's just you walked in and fell on the bed.

00:15:51Guest:Yeah.

00:15:51Guest:That was it.

00:15:52Marc:We're going to listen to music.

00:15:53Marc:That's what poverty looks like.

00:15:55Marc:That's what- Yeah.

00:15:57Marc:How the mighty have changed, not fallen.

00:15:59Marc:Well, no, I mean, I didn't have that plan.

00:16:01Marc:That was like the best apartment I could get, that apartment.

00:16:04Marc:And then I remember- The Queens apartment?

00:16:07Marc:You were never out there, were you?

00:16:08Marc:Of course you were.

00:16:08Guest:Yes, I was.

00:16:11Guest:Thanks a lot.

00:16:13Guest:I was in the Queens apartment, but then I remember you had bedbugs in Queens.

00:16:17Marc:Yeah, but that was later.

00:16:18Guest:I didn't like that Queens apartment.

00:16:19Guest:That was later.

00:16:20Marc:No.

00:16:20Guest:If you were there- I spanned the 14th Street, the Avenue A, Queens-

00:16:28Marc:Sometimes years would go by.

00:16:30Marc:Are we going to try it?

00:16:32Marc:God, Mark.

00:16:35Marc:Do we still do this?

00:16:36Marc:I don't know.

00:16:36Marc:Do we?

00:16:37Marc:Let's give it a whirl.

00:16:39Marc:Not today.

00:16:40Guest:Not today.

00:16:41Guest:Not today.

00:16:42Guest:Not today.

00:16:43Marc:I got it.

00:16:43Guest:Not today, Satan.

00:16:45Marc:Yeah, I'm Satan.

00:16:47Marc:Why am I the Satan?

00:16:48Guest:Not today, Satan.

00:16:49Marc:But let me... Yes.

00:16:50Guest:I was looking at... But then I asked you when you had your show, I said, oh, we should do something about how, you know, friends who... Right.

00:16:57Guest:Whatever that was forever and then fall into it again.

00:17:01Marc:Oh, I'm Maren.

00:17:01Marc:That's right.

00:17:02Guest:Yeah.

00:17:03Marc:We did exactly what we do.

00:17:05Guest:And then I was like, oh, well, people will just think it's fiction.

00:17:09Guest:And then you're like, no, Carolyn and all.

00:17:11Guest:I'm like, all right, okay.

00:17:14Marc:So much for that.

00:17:15Marc:It's like a biopic.

00:17:16Marc:There's a statute of limitations on this shit.

00:17:18Marc:I mean, there's obviously, like, by us being candid, there's a couple of people that could get hurt and might be like, what's the timeline on this?

00:17:25Marc:It was a shifting timeline.

00:17:27Guest:It was.

00:17:27Guest:It was long and shifting.

00:17:29Marc:And it wasn't like we ever locked in for any period of time.

00:17:32Marc:It was just always there, kind of.

00:17:33Marc:It's just...

00:17:35Guest:I do remember one time you slept over and we were both like, ah!

00:17:38Marc:I know.

00:17:39Guest:Oh, God, you have to go.

00:17:40Marc:No, no, this is not a... I don't think I slept over.

00:17:43Guest:No, one time you slept over.

00:17:45Guest:Wow.

00:17:46Guest:I remember on the Upper East Side and I remember the discomfort of it all.

00:17:49Guest:Like, we were both like, where's the eject button?

00:17:52Guest:How did this happen?

00:17:53Marc:That was another attempt at something.

00:17:54Guest:You know what?

00:17:54Guest:We were like vampires.

00:17:55Guest:Yeah.

00:17:56Guest:It could not, it could not, it didn't... Exist in the day?

00:17:58Guest:Yes, exactly.

00:17:59Guest:That's funny.

00:18:00Guest:It wasn't daylight.

00:18:00Guest:Yeah.

00:18:01Guest:But remember we used to go to that great restaurant?

00:18:03Marc:Which one?

00:18:04Guest:Oh, it was so good.

00:18:05Guest:Dojos?

00:18:06Marc:That's so funny.

00:18:07Marc:It's dojos?

00:18:07Marc:Yes.

00:18:08Marc:The memory's better than the restaurant.

00:18:10Marc:I mean, I don't know if it was a great restaurant.

00:18:12Guest:Really?

00:18:13Guest:Yeah.

00:18:13Guest:And then there was another great restaurant.

00:18:15Marc:Yeah, there was like Veselka.

00:18:16Marc:Veselka.

00:18:17Guest:We went there a lot, too.

00:18:18Marc:That's good.

00:18:19Marc:But dojo, you'd walk downstairs, and they had the steamed vegetables, the brown rice, and the strange veggie burger that would come on the brown rice.

00:18:28Marc:Right.

00:18:29Marc:It was okay.

00:18:30Guest:It was a little dirty.

00:18:31Guest:It sounds like a vegetarian porn and then it would come on the brown rice.

00:18:34Marc:Yeah, come right on the brown rice, the sauce.

00:18:37Marc:The veggie burger would just drop a load on the brown rice.

00:18:41Guest:Wow, you turned it into a whole different movie.

00:18:42Marc:Yeah, I know.

00:18:43Marc:It'd get dirty.

00:18:44Marc:Yeah, but Dojo was a place, it was open.

00:18:47Marc:That was the thing, right?

00:18:48Marc:Three in the morning.

00:18:48Guest:Yeah, we would always go there.

00:18:49Guest:That was, you know what?

00:18:50Guest:Todd Berry would go.

00:18:51Guest:We had a great life of going to do stand-up all night in every single club and then sitting in the cellar and then ending up at the Dojo.

00:18:58Marc:Yep, we did.

00:19:00Marc:But you were able to work at more clubs.

00:19:02Marc:I mean, that was always the problem was that you were- Bitter party of one.

00:19:06Guest:No.

00:19:06Marc:And then I remember- You're like, how are you doing in your poverty?

00:19:09Guest:I was never like that.

00:19:11Marc:How's it going?

00:19:12Guest:Oh my God.

00:19:13Guest:I was never like that.

00:19:14Guest:How are you going in your poverty?

00:19:15Marc:How was the VJ audition?

00:19:17Guest:Oh-

00:19:19Guest:No, you are such a projector because when I got Sabrina, you said to me, I am not happy for you at all.

00:19:26Guest:I'm very bitter and jealous and I don't think we can be friends.

00:19:29Guest:That's what you said to me in 1996.

00:19:32Marc:I was up for the aunt part.

00:19:33Marc:I was up for the same part you were in Sabrina.

00:19:36Yeah.

00:19:36Guest:Aunt Hilda was either Marc Maron or me.

00:19:39Guest:It was very close.

00:19:41Guest:Well, I was up for Maron, and then they went with you.

00:19:43Guest:I remember being at an audition in 1989 for, I don't know what it was, but literally I was sitting there, and it said a Victoria Jackson and Kevin Nealon type.

00:19:53Guest:And then I was sitting there, and Victoria Jackson and Kevin Nealon both walked in, and I was like, I am so getting this.

00:20:00Marc:Did you?

00:20:01Marc:No.

00:20:01Marc:Who got it?

00:20:02Guest:I'm sure Victoria Jackson.

00:20:04Guest:Things didn't end well for her.

00:20:06Guest:I have a question.

00:20:07Guest:I have a question.

00:20:08Guest:This is a question.

00:20:09Guest:It is weird.

00:20:10Guest:When I was a kid, I was obsessed with... I watched, of course, Carol Burnett.

00:20:15Marc:I don't know why I never interviewed her.

00:20:18Guest:Every time I've met her, I've burst into tears.

00:20:20Guest:She looks at me and she's sort of like, please don't cry.

00:20:22Guest:She just meant so much to me.

00:20:25Marc:I want to point out that...

00:20:27Marc:Caroline got lost on the way over here.

00:20:29Marc:And when she called to ask me directions, she was crying.

00:20:32Guest:Okay.

00:20:32Guest:Thank you.

00:20:33Guest:I don't like getting lost.

00:20:35Guest:Thanks for sharing.

00:20:36Guest:I was, I was crying.

00:20:38Guest:It'll, I was at a comedy club the other day.

00:20:40Guest:I went to park the thing, you know, the, whatever the parking, what do you call it?

00:20:45Guest:Like the barrier thing.

00:20:46Guest:What do you call it?

00:20:47Marc:uh, the parking structure, the gate, basically the gate, it wouldn't open.

00:20:52Guest:So I had to back up and turn it.

00:20:53Guest:The next thing I knew, I was literally on the one 34, two exits down.

00:20:56Guest:I was like, I was at the club.

00:20:58Guest:How am I this lost?

00:21:00Marc:Oh my God.

00:21:00Guest:Okay.

00:21:01Guest:So when this is just an interesting thing, like when you're a kid and something that deeply affected you, right?

00:21:07Guest:Did you ever imagine that you would be having a talk with Keith Richards about a hat when you were a kid?

00:21:12Marc:No, no, no.

00:21:13Marc:I'd never.

00:21:13Marc:So what happened with that?

00:21:14Marc:With what?

00:21:15Guest:Your call with Keith Richards that you mentioned it so casually.

00:21:19Marc:Well, you know, he's got the reissuing a record and I was offered the opportunity to talk to him again.

00:21:24Marc:I've talked to him before and it was good, but I get very excited with him.

00:21:27Marc:I know, but how do you not freak out?

00:21:29Marc:Because I've talked to a lot of people at this point.

00:21:31Marc:Yes, I know.

00:21:32Marc:You're very important.

00:21:33Marc:I get it.

00:21:33Marc:Not important, but like, you know, there are some people- It doesn't matter.

00:21:37Guest:Who have you met right now?

00:21:39Guest:Would you freak out at anyone?

00:21:40Marc:Well, I did freak out, but I didn't freak out in a bad way.

00:21:43Marc:I knew I could handle it, but I thought since the last time I talked to him that I wouldn't be like, oh my God, but I was.

00:21:49Marc:It came right out right away.

00:21:51Marc:Just like 14-year-old me was like, that one record?

00:21:55Marc:Yeah.

00:21:57Marc:That was so good.

00:21:58Marc:What guitar were you playing?

00:22:00Marc:So that happened.

00:22:02Marc:But I and I was I get nervous before every one of these things.

00:22:04Marc:But what I've learned is even knowing these people are human.

00:22:08Marc:There are some people that I've talked to that I still remain pedestal for me that I still feel like, well, I don't want to.

00:22:13Marc:Like there's these moments that you have with people where it's like, I think we're going to be friends.

00:22:17Marc:Like, no, we're not.

00:22:18Marc:Don't.

00:22:18Marc:Yeah.

00:22:19Guest:When I had my talk show, I thought everybody it's like my joke.

00:22:21Guest:And it's really the truth.

00:22:22Guest:Some celebrities are intimidating.

00:22:24Guest:Yeah.

00:22:24Guest:I'm the kind of celebrity where fans eventually say to me, I've got to go.

00:22:29Guest:Because I'm so codependent.

00:22:31Guest:And if anybody talks to me, I don't want them to.

00:22:34Guest:I've seen celebrities be mean to people, especially to kids.

00:22:37Guest:And then I'm like, I'm the most overcompensating.

00:22:39Guest:I don't want anyone to ever feel bad.

00:22:41Marc:Yeah.

00:22:41Marc:But I think like there's I'm sorry.

00:22:43Marc:I think we're starting to learn that they kind of want you to be not a dick, but to be the celebrity.

00:22:48Marc:The problem with today is we're all so accessible one way or the other.

00:22:53Marc:Right.

00:22:53Marc:I'm very diplomatic with stalkers.

00:22:55Marc:I'm sort of like, so what do you want?

00:22:59Guest:Why do you think if you stalk someone long enough, you'll eventually become friends?

00:23:02Guest:Well, that's why I have a joke about that.

00:23:03Marc:In a way, you're sort of like, okay.

00:23:04Marc:The only way to deal with stalkers is take them out to lunch because you'll disappoint them.

00:23:09Right.

00:23:09Marc:They're like, you're not what I thought you were.

00:23:12Marc:Exactly.

00:23:14Guest:Who is, what's the, what's the, okay, I want to tell you that my daughter and I were in Perry.

00:23:18Guest:How's she now?

00:23:19Guest:She's 13.

00:23:20Guest:Wow.

00:23:21Guest:Love of my life.

00:23:22Guest:Yeah.

00:23:22Guest:So funny.

00:23:23Marc:You're in where?

00:23:24Guest:She's funny?

00:23:25Guest:She's so funny.

00:23:25Marc:You pushing her into the show business?

00:23:27Guest:No, she's funny in a really hilarious way.

00:23:28Guest:Like, she's like.

00:23:30Marc:She writing for you?

00:23:31Guest:I know it's not.

00:23:32Guest:I fall for it every time.

00:23:34Guest:She's like, Mark, do you like Imagine Dragons?

00:23:37Guest:I don't know what that is.

00:23:39Guest:The musical band?

00:23:40Guest:Okay, no.

00:23:41Guest:Yes.

00:23:41Guest:I don't know.

00:23:42Guest:Okay, let's do it again.

00:23:43Guest:You don't have a 13-year-old daughter.

00:23:44Marc:Okay.

00:23:45Marc:Let me try it again.

00:23:45Marc:I'll play along.

00:23:46Guest:Mommy, do you like Imagine Dragons?

00:23:47Marc:I do.

00:23:48Marc:I do.

00:23:48Guest:Imagine dragging them nuts across your face.

00:23:51Yeah.

00:23:52Marc:That happened?

00:23:52Guest:She's blue.

00:23:53Guest:She plays dirty.

00:23:54Guest:Yeah.

00:23:54Guest:And it made me laugh really.

00:23:55Marc:Where did she learn that?

00:23:57Guest:I don't know.

00:23:57Guest:On TikTok.

00:23:58Guest:I don't know.

00:23:59Marc:Are she going to be paying attention to that?

00:24:04Guest:I think it's hilarious.

00:24:05Guest:What are you talking about?

00:24:06Marc:Does she know what it means?

00:24:07Guest:Her father's a comedian, but luckily she has my act.

00:24:09Marc:Yeah.

00:24:11Marc:Yeah.

00:24:11Marc:That guy was always a little dark.

00:24:13Guest:You know what?

00:24:14Guest:I remember when I first started going out with him and I told you, you were like, that guy is so morose.

00:24:19Guest:He's so sad.

00:24:20Marc:Yeah.

00:24:21Marc:Was that right?

00:24:22Guest:He's just got a heavier energy.

00:24:24Marc:Maybe that's it.

00:24:25Guest:He's very funny.

00:24:25Guest:He's just got a heavy... I'm porous like you.

00:24:29Guest:I feel everyone and everything.

00:24:31Guest:I'm very empathetic and he's just much more like... What's the word?

00:24:36Guest:Boundaries.

00:24:37Marc:So let's go back to Canada.

00:24:38Marc:So you grew up where?

00:24:39Marc:I grew up in Montreal.

00:24:40Marc:In Montreal?

00:24:41Marc:Yeah.

00:24:41Marc:Do you speak French?

00:24:42Yeah.

00:24:42Guest:Only in the present tense, because that's all I can remember from high school.

00:24:46Guest:As long as it happened today.

00:24:47Guest:Next question.

00:24:49Marc:Is that true?

00:24:49Guest:Yeah.

00:24:50Marc:Oh, I don't see.

00:24:52Marc:I like I meet a lot of Canadians.

00:24:53Marc:I talk to Canadians.

00:24:54Marc:I don't always know, given the current state of affairs, why people leave Canada.

00:24:59Guest:Well, for me, I had no opportunity to be a sitcom actress in Canada.

00:25:03Marc:What do you mean?

00:25:04Marc:It seems like if you hang around long enough, everyone gets a show up there.

00:25:07Guest:Really?

00:25:08Guest:Who?

00:25:08Marc:I don't know.

00:25:09Marc:It seems like all comics in Canada.

00:25:11Marc:I've never seen the shows.

00:25:13Marc:But I know that you talk to Bruce McCullough.

00:25:14Marc:He's like, we did nine seasons of that.

00:25:17Marc:I'm like, what?

00:25:18Marc:It's in Canada.

00:25:19Guest:Yeah, but then you're also paid in Canadian wages.

00:25:22Guest:They're like, would you like two potatoes and a bottle of maple syrup?

00:25:25Guest:There you go.

00:25:25Guest:Oh, here's a hockey jersey.

00:25:26Marc:The nationalized health care is not all it's racked up to be, is it?

00:25:29Guest:You know what?

00:25:30Guest:It's really... It's better than not going to the doctor.

00:25:35Guest:When I first moved to New York, I was literally on a yacht as a cater waiter.

00:25:40Guest:Yeah.

00:25:41Guest:And this guy showed me his gout-ridden foot, which was a lovely shade of purple.

00:25:48Guest:I remember it because it was like a nightmare.

00:25:50Marc:You really make yourself available to people, don't you?

00:25:51Guest:Yeah, I do.

00:25:52Guest:Hey, can I see you?

00:25:53Guest:And I said, why haven't you gone to the doctor?

00:25:55Guest:He's like, I don't have insurance.

00:25:56Guest:I'm like...

00:25:57Guest:Like that would never happen in Canada.

00:25:59Marc:But you might just have to wait for two months.

00:26:02Marc:The gout would have been your entire leg by the time you see a doctor.

00:26:04Guest:And then people die in emergency rooms there because they don't ever make it to a room.

00:26:08Marc:But that's happening here now, not just because of COVID, but because like even my plan now, it's like I tried to get an appointment with a specialist.

00:26:14Marc:They're like, yeah, June.

00:26:16Guest:I'm like, what?

00:26:16Guest:Plastic surgeons are busy, Mark.

00:26:18Marc:That's why I just got to accept what I have.

00:26:21Marc:I can't get this pulled back.

00:26:23Marc:Just this little thing on my chin.

00:26:24Guest:Just on my neck.

00:26:26Guest:I want to do a handstand and get a staple gun.

00:26:27Guest:I just want it all.

00:26:28Guest:And I just want to set the time machine.

00:26:30Guest:I'll be fine.

00:26:31Guest:1994.

00:26:31Guest:Just set it back to that.

00:26:33Guest:I get different people that I'm told I look like, depending on my weight, which I find funny.

00:26:39Marc:Really?

00:26:40Marc:Where are you at now?

00:26:42Guest:Wow.

00:26:43Marc:Who is it?

00:26:43Guest:It's just me.

00:26:44Guest:It's actually just me.

00:26:46Who?

00:26:47Marc:Who do you remind people of now?

00:26:49Marc:I'm not going to say anything.

00:26:51Guest:You know what?

00:26:51Guest:You're not going to say anything.

00:26:53Guest:I'm going to reach over and slap you with your hammer.

00:26:56Marc:But did you start stand-up in Canada?

00:26:58Marc:Because I don't know these things about you, really.

00:27:00Marc:I have a weird memory.

00:27:01Guest:I started stand-up when I met you.

00:27:03Guest:I never did it in Canada.

00:27:05Guest:No, I will tell you one thing.

00:27:06Guest:My mother had like.

00:27:09Marc:I used to like your impressions.

00:27:11Guest:And my mom, my mom had a quadruple bypass.

00:27:13Marc:Oh my God.

00:27:13Marc:When was this?

00:27:15Marc:Oh, are we back before you left?

00:27:17Guest:No, no.

00:27:18Guest:Like it was before Ava was born.

00:27:22Guest:So like 13 years ago.

00:27:23Guest:Yeah.

00:27:24Guest:And that was completely free, completely free Canada.

00:27:27Guest:And that surgery is $450,000 here.

00:27:30Guest:So there's some things that, first of all, socialized medicine, everybody should be insured.

00:27:36Guest:It's ridiculous.

00:27:36Marc:That's absolutely right.

00:27:37Marc:And the fact that like some people have to go to GoFundMes.

00:27:40Guest:I know.

00:27:41Guest:It's heartbreaking.

00:27:42Guest:No.

00:27:43Marc:All right.

00:27:43Marc:But so, all right.

00:27:44Marc:So in Canada.

00:27:45Guest:Okay.

00:27:45Guest:I moved to New York in 1989.

00:27:47Guest:I know that.

00:27:47Marc:But I'm talking about before.

00:27:48Marc:You had two sisters?

00:27:49Guest:No, I still have two sisters.

00:27:50Marc:Yeah.

00:27:51Guest:Are you reading Wikipedia?

00:27:52Guest:For God's sake.

00:27:53Guest:No.

00:27:53Guest:What are you reading?

00:27:54Guest:I have two sisters.

00:27:54Marc:Because I tried to remember if I've ever met one of your sisters.

00:27:57Marc:You have met both of my sisters.

00:27:59Marc:Briefly.

00:27:59Guest:Well, no.

00:28:00Marc:Briefly.

00:28:01Guest:Okay.

00:28:01Guest:I'm not saying you were at like family holidays for God's sake.

00:28:04Guest:You're not.

00:28:05Guest:Never.

00:28:05Guest:You slept over one night, Mark.

00:28:07Guest:Let it go.

00:28:09Guest:I'm not claiming you.

00:28:10Marc:Why aren't you taking care of me more?

00:28:12Guest:You're not even on the relationship tree.

00:28:15Guest:Okay.

00:28:15Marc:I know.

00:28:16Marc:I know.

00:28:17Marc:I know a couple of people who are.

00:28:19Guest:There are a few branches.

00:28:20Guest:Yeah, I know.

00:28:21Marc:I'm just one of the fallen fruits.

00:28:25Guest:Yes.

00:28:26Guest:Just one of them.

00:28:27Guest:Yeah.

00:28:27Guest:So when I was in Parakea with my daughter, I said to her, I said, honey, I want you to look over there.

00:28:32Guest:Yeah.

00:28:33Guest:That is one of the greatest musicians in the world.

00:28:35Guest:And that is one of the most beautiful supermodels that ever was.

00:28:38Guest:And she looked over and she said, mommy, I can't see them.

00:28:40Guest:The very old couple are blocking them.

00:28:42Guest:And I said, no, honey, they are the very old couple.

00:28:44Guest:And it was Keith Richards and his beautiful wife, Patty.

00:28:49Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:28:50Guest:But we just saw the Stones in October and they were unbelievable.

00:28:52Guest:Yeah, it was fun, right?

00:28:53Guest:It was so fun.

00:28:54Guest:Where were you, sitting up close?

00:28:56Marc:No, I got in at the last minute in Fort Lauderdale because I was visiting my mother.

00:29:02Marc:And I had like a little connection to their publicist.

00:29:05Marc:But I got good seats.

00:29:06Marc:But no, the benefit of the Fort Lauderdale show was only 7,000 seater, which is a small room for them.

00:29:11Guest:That is amazing.

00:29:13Guest:Why do you have so many guitars?

00:29:14Guest:You could have had one child by now.

00:29:16Guest:There's six guitars?

00:29:17Marc:I try to get them for nothing.

00:29:21Marc:And I'm not a collector.

00:29:22Guest:It is sexy when you play guitar.

00:29:24Marc:Thank you very much.

00:29:25Guest:It is.

00:29:26Guest:I love it.

00:29:26Guest:I like occasionally watching on the live stream and it's just women throwing themselves at you.

00:29:31Marc:It's kind of bizarre, right?

00:29:33Marc:Yeah.

00:29:37Marc:Extremely.

00:29:37Marc:I don't do it as much as I used to.

00:29:39Guest:So-

00:29:40Marc:When you were in high school, how did that go?

00:29:43Marc:Did you go to a fancy school?

00:29:45Marc:What's your life like in Montreal?

00:29:47Marc:I have no sense of Montreal.

00:29:49Guest:You have made fun of me for all of this.

00:29:51Guest:You really don't remember any of it.

00:29:52Marc:I know that your dad was a doctor.

00:29:54Guest:I went to all girls school, private all girls school.

00:29:57Guest:There were 17 girls in my class.

00:29:58Marc:17?

00:29:59Marc:Yeah.

00:30:00Marc:Small.

00:30:00Guest:Yeah, very small.

00:30:01Guest:Was it convent school?

00:30:02Guest:No, we were not.

00:30:03Guest:It was called the study.

00:30:04Guest:The study?

00:30:04Guest:The study school for girls.

00:30:06Marc:Yeah.

00:30:06Guest:And that's all I knew.

00:30:07Guest:I didn't even take a bus until I was about 15.

00:30:09Guest:Yeah.

00:30:10Guest:And then I moved to New York and I was like, what is being on the street?

00:30:14Guest:And then I met you and it's like, oh my God.

00:30:16Guest:Yeah.

00:30:17Marc:He was peeing on the street.

00:30:18Guest:Was I peeing on the street?

00:30:19Guest:You're peeing.

00:30:19Guest:No, I just remember there being.

00:30:21Guest:It's just funny because I was I had such a sheltered childhood.

00:30:25Marc:But I just remember meeting you and it was like you were already playing at a lot of the clubs.

00:30:28Marc:You were like way friendly with Lewis Veranda, who I still resent.

00:30:32Marc:I still resent him, too.

00:30:33Marc:Why would you resent him?

00:30:35Guest:Because he's been mean to me since.

00:30:38Marc:He actually made it right with me by giving me Carnegie Hall.

00:30:41Marc:So I can't, I don't really have a right.

00:30:43Marc:Oh, I'm sorry.

00:30:43Marc:I'm going to pick that name up.

00:30:45Marc:He gave you Carnegie Hall?

00:30:46Marc:Kinda.

00:30:47Marc:What happened?

00:30:48Marc:What do you mean?

00:30:48Marc:I just, I did the New York Comedy Fest.

00:30:50Marc:Oh, he booked it?

00:30:51Marc:Yeah.

00:30:51Marc:Okay.

00:30:52Marc:He still books it.

00:30:53Marc:But like, it was, I was so mad.

00:30:55Guest:Yeah, I didn't know what he did.

00:30:56Guest:He was like, he like literally gave me a career and then he decided he just was mean to me after that.

00:31:02Marc:How did that work?

00:31:03Marc:When you started doing comedy, when did you start passing?

00:31:05Marc:What was the steps?

00:31:07Guest:It's funny because I drove past the improv and I remember- On 44th Street?

00:31:11Guest:Yeah, 44th.

00:31:12Marc:And the first, and I remember- With the letters missing in the sign?

00:31:16Guest:Now it's the producer's club.

00:31:18Guest:It's not the improv anymore.

00:31:19Marc:I thought it was a restaurant.

00:31:21Guest:Oh, is it?

00:31:22Marc:Yeah.

00:31:22Guest:I just remember like there were prostitutes everywhere.

00:31:25Guest:There was a woman wearing an entirely.

00:31:28Guest:It was like a clear plastic jumper.

00:31:30Guest:I was like, why bother?

00:31:31Marc:Yeah.

00:31:32Guest:And I was, you know, I'd never seen a prostitute.

00:31:33Marc:That was 89?

00:31:34Marc:Yeah.

00:31:35Marc:It was sort of in shambles by then.

00:31:38Marc:I was working there then.

00:31:40Marc:You were?

00:31:40Marc:Yeah.

00:31:40Marc:I worked there when I got... That was one of the places where I worked.

00:31:43Marc:Silver would let me work there.

00:31:44Marc:But it was beat up.

00:31:46Marc:And there wasn't a lot of people around.

00:31:47Marc:It was like me and Dan Vitale and Bob Shaw and Uncle Dirty.

00:31:52Marc:And what was that guy?

00:31:53Guest:Billiam Cornell.

00:31:54Guest:That's who I saw.

00:31:55Marc:Well, Billiam, I used to see down at the cellar.

00:31:57Marc:But Jerry Diner was at the improv.

00:32:00Marc:And who was that other guy?

00:32:02Guest:Brett Butler was there because I sat next to Brett.

00:32:04Guest:And I just remember thinking like...

00:32:06Marc:Sure.

00:32:06Guest:Because Brett was so mean to me at first.

00:32:08Guest:And I was like, it was like Zola Budd and Mary Decker.

00:32:10Guest:I was like, I loved her.

00:32:12Marc:She can be a little mean.

00:32:14Guest:She was a little mean.

00:32:16Guest:Because, you know, you have the same manager that I used to have.

00:32:18Marc:It's so funny because that manager wouldn't give me the time of day when you were with him when you were a kid.

00:32:24Marc:Right.

00:32:24Marc:He had Brett and you and Dana Gould.

00:32:26Guest:And I would call him.

00:32:27Marc:Greg Barron.

00:32:28Marc:And I would call and pretend that.

00:32:30Marc:You were Brett.

00:32:31Marc:Can you still do the voice?

00:32:32Marc:No.

00:32:32Guest:And then I go, hey, y'all, I don't understand why you're representing Caroline Ray.

00:32:35Guest:She's like, nothing but like a dumb blonde with big tits.

00:32:38Guest:And he would go, we won't, Brett.

00:32:40Guest:We're sorry.

00:32:41Guest:No, we won't.

00:32:42Guest:Absolutely not.

00:32:43Guest:And I go, it's me, you idiots.

00:32:45Guest:I do this every week.

00:32:46Guest:How do you not do this?

00:32:47Marc:But when Brett got... And then David would say, like, I was just kidding.

00:32:50Guest:No, no, just kidding.

00:32:52Guest:No.

00:32:54Guest:That was my joke that you could never tell if it was bad news or not because they were Australian.

00:32:58Guest:Yeah, you didn't get the part.

00:32:59Guest:I'm like, but you sound so happy about it.

00:33:01Guest:Yeah, no, no, you didn't.

00:33:03Guest:Did you?

00:33:04Guest:No.

00:33:05Guest:And now he calls, listen, Mac.

00:33:07Marc:Yeah.

00:33:07Guest:Is that what he calls you?

00:33:08Guest:Mac.

00:33:09Marc:Yeah.

00:33:09Marc:How are you going?

00:33:10Marc:I never get used to.

00:33:11Guest:How are you going?

00:33:11Marc:I never get used to that.

00:33:12Guest:It's so weird when you go there, too.

00:33:13Guest:They have weird words.

00:33:15Guest:All their food is for women.

00:33:16Guest:It's like, I'm a gold.

00:33:18Guest:This steak is gorgeous.

00:33:20Guest:It's beautiful.

00:33:21Guest:It's so lovely.

00:33:23Guest:It's like, it's a steak.

00:33:24Marc:So how did you get them as managers?

00:33:26Marc:What happens?

00:33:28Guest:I don't remember.

00:33:30Guest:I feel like I'm being tested for senility.

00:33:32Guest:I have to go back in this.

00:33:33Marc:No, but I'm just like, because I remember by the time I met you, within a year, you seemed to be moving.

00:33:40Guest:It happened quickly for me.

00:33:42Marc:Yeah.

00:33:43Guest:I was on television like the 10th time I was on stage, basically.

00:33:46Marc:Really?

00:33:47Guest:Yeah.

00:33:48Guest:MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour.

00:33:49Marc:Oh, yeah.

00:33:49Marc:We did those.

00:33:50Marc:I did one of those.

00:33:50Guest:Yeah.

00:33:50Guest:You did those.

00:33:51Marc:And then you did- I yelled and sweated on that show.

00:33:54Marc:Yeah.

00:33:54Guest:You yelled and sweated.

00:33:55Marc:Yeah.

00:33:55Marc:At many shows.

00:33:56Guest:I was just yelling and sweating everywhere.

00:33:58Guest:You were very angry.

00:33:59Guest:You were very angry on and off stage.

00:34:03Guest:Would you describe those as angry years for you?

00:34:05Marc:Yeah, for sure.

00:34:06Marc:You were furious.

00:34:08Guest:And why I was so drawn to you, I don't know.

00:34:09Guest:Because I was like literally made fun of because I was like sunshine and goodness.

00:34:14Guest:I never even knew what a wasp was.

00:34:15Guest:I was called a wasp.

00:34:16Marc:And it turns out you were just Canadian.

00:34:18Marc:Yeah.

00:34:18Guest:I am.

00:34:19Guest:I'm just Canadian.

00:34:20Guest:I would just talk to everybody.

00:34:21Guest:I was polite.

00:34:22Guest:Then we had a huge fight.

00:34:23Guest:Do you remember we had like a huge fight and then we didn't talk to each other for like a year?

00:34:26Guest:And then we saw each other at the comic strip and you said you were sorry.

00:34:31Guest:Yeah.

00:34:31Guest:And then we were both crying at the comic strip.

00:34:33Guest:Do you remember that?

00:34:34Marc:Yeah, I don't remember what we thought about.

00:34:35Guest:No, I don't either.

00:34:36Marc:But yeah, no, right.

00:34:38Guest:This is a fascinating study for people who love you.

00:34:41Guest:They're like, are you going to play the guitar or talk about music?

00:34:43Guest:No, we're just going to try and remember things from 30 years ago.

00:34:45Marc:Well, that's what old people do.

00:34:47Guest:Oh!

00:34:47Guest:I do not identify as old.

00:34:49Guest:I will not be called that.

00:34:51Guest:This is the one career where you're not supposed to not age.

00:34:54Marc:Eventually, that's what people do is just sit around and try to remind each other of things.

00:35:00Guest:Right.

00:35:00Guest:What is this?

00:35:01Marc:That's a slide for a guitar to make a slide sound.

00:35:04Marc:I think that's a Ben Harper one.

00:35:06Marc:I think Ben gave that to me.

00:35:08Guest:Oh, my God.

00:35:08Guest:The name dropping is unbelievable.

00:35:10Marc:What is it like?

00:35:10Marc:His name is on it.

00:35:11Guest:Oh, right.

00:35:12Guest:Fine.

00:35:13Guest:It is.

00:35:13Guest:It's on it.

00:35:13Guest:Ben Harper.

00:35:15Marc:I just want to know.

00:35:16Marc:I want to know about Catch a Rising Star.

00:35:18Marc:Let's do... People like the comedy history.

00:35:20Guest:Oh, they do like the history?

00:35:20Guest:That's what we do.

00:35:21Guest:Okay.

00:35:21Guest:So, I remember sitting down...

00:35:23Marc:Because that's where you were in, and that was the hard one to get into.

00:35:26Guest:Okay, no, wait, so I'm telling you, so the first set, so I had a job, I had like, during the day, I sprayed perfume at Bloomingdale's, that horrible job, right up until someone literally sprayed me back, and then I was like, I can't do this, I'm not kidding.

00:35:40Guest:And this guy would come in and give me a feather every day, and want the samples.

00:35:44Guest:Feather guy.

00:35:45Guest:Oh, it was disgusting.

00:35:46Guest:That was at Bloomingdale's.

00:35:47Guest:I would do that.

00:35:48Marc:Like a pigeon feather?

00:35:48Yeah.

00:35:48Guest:And then during the night, I was a cater waiter on a yacht on 23rd Street.

00:35:57Guest:Yeah.

00:35:58Guest:And then I would start going out and just going to open mics.

00:36:02Guest:And then I remember starting at like eight in the morning, finishing at like one in the morning and going to bed and getting up because I had a 340 at the improv.

00:36:12Guest:That was like one of my first sets because remember they used to do prom shows?

00:36:15Marc:Prom shows, yeah.

00:36:16Guest:The worst thing in the entire world.

00:36:17Marc:Yeah, the worst.

00:36:18Guest:3.40 a.m.

00:36:20Guest:That was my set.

00:36:21Marc:And just like teenagers and tuxes.

00:36:23Guest:Yeah.

00:36:23Guest:Teenage tuxes and just screaming at you.

00:36:26Guest:And then I passed.

00:36:27Guest:And then I went to the comic strip and Lucien said to me, well, clearly you're funny, but I don't really think this is something that you're cut out to do as a career.

00:36:36Guest:So why don't you come back in a year and we'll try again?

00:36:40Guest:And I didn't go back for like 12 years.

00:36:42Guest:Yeah.

00:36:43Guest:I was so pissed at him.

00:36:45Guest:I'm like, oh, I'm just doing Letterman.

00:36:46Guest:Can I do whatever?

00:36:47Guest:So Lewis really like was the guy.

00:36:50Guest:Yeah, he put me up.

00:36:51Guest:I was the emcee forever.

00:36:53Marc:Did you audition?

00:36:54Guest:Yeah, of course I auditioned.

00:36:55Marc:Who was like who was there when you got there?

00:36:57Guest:Linda Smith, who was best friends and I believe is still best friends with Lewis.

00:37:02Marc:I started with Linda Smith at open mics in Boston when I was in college.

00:37:07Marc:Like I knew her before everything.

00:37:09Guest:wow it's crazy that is crazy who else did you start with in boston yeah john groff really yep has the same birthday as me uh i love john groff who else was around by the time i was in college like our generation is pretty successful our our class of comedians yep uh but i jeff ross who was jeff lift schultz he and i started together right wait i totally forgot i went to the new school

00:37:33Guest:And I studied stand-up comedy with Scott Blakeman, who we had a huge crush on.

00:37:38Guest:And then our final thing was that we went up at the comic strip.

00:37:43Guest:Right.

00:37:44Guest:And as I was walking to the stage, and I will never forget, I was wearing green, short, overall polka dot things.

00:37:51Guest:And I looked like I was doing some Broadway musical for...

00:37:55Guest:Little Abner.

00:37:57Guest:And then as I walked to the stage, my friend John Wiley screamed, you're really bad, because he was Australian.

00:38:02Guest:And I hadn't even spoken yet.

00:38:04Guest:And then I did my set there.

00:38:05Guest:And then I worked out at Stand Up New York all the time.

00:38:08Guest:And Kerry Hoffman was very supportive.

00:38:10Guest:He didn't like you?

00:38:11Marc:No, he didn't like me.

00:38:12Marc:Lewis didn't really like me.

00:38:13Marc:In retrospect, I get it.

00:38:14Marc:I don't hold it against them.

00:38:16Marc:Boston Comedy Club loved you.

00:38:18Marc:Yeah, but there was barely anyone in charge there.

00:38:20Marc:Right.

00:38:21Marc:You know, like, thank God for Boston Comedy Club.

00:38:23Marc:I couldn't get on at the cellar until she saw my HBO half hour.

00:38:26Guest:Are you serious?

00:38:27Guest:Yeah.

00:38:27Guest:What year was that?

00:38:28Marc:96.

00:38:31Guest:Wow.

00:38:32Guest:Yeah, she just... I will still bomb at the cellar.

00:38:35Marc:I can kill at every club and I would go down there and I will still bomb.

00:38:39Marc:Yeah, I don't feel like it's home to me.

00:38:40Marc:I don't even go in there anymore.

00:38:41Marc:I don't know what's happening there anymore.

00:38:42Guest:The best comedy club in the world to me was the Comedy Underground in Seattle.

00:38:46Marc:Oh, yeah, it was great.

00:38:47Marc:The original one?

00:38:47Marc:Yeah.

00:38:48Marc:That swampy place that- Yeah, that you would go literally- Laura and what was the guy's name?

00:38:53Marc:That nice guy?

00:38:54Marc:There was a couple.

00:38:55Marc:Yeah, it was great.

00:38:56Marc:That?

00:38:56Marc:Yeah.

00:38:57Guest:The original Denver Comedy Club.

00:39:00Marc:Downtown.

00:39:01Guest:Yeah.

00:39:01Marc:Comedy Works.

00:39:02Guest:Yeah, Comedy Works.

00:39:05Guest:The Atlanta Punchline.

00:39:07Guest:The original.

00:39:08Marc:Yeah.

00:39:09Guest:Even though it was like an art- DePetta's room?

00:39:10Guest:Yeah.

00:39:11Guest:Yeah.

00:39:11Guest:Chris DePetta and Jamie Bendel's room.

00:39:13Marc:Yeah.

00:39:13Marc:People like that DC Improv.

00:39:15Guest:That is a great club.

00:39:16Guest:The DC Improv is very good.

00:39:18Guest:And then what about around the world?

00:39:20Marc:Where's that?

00:39:21Guest:No, I mean around the world that you've played.

00:39:23Marc:In general.

00:39:23Marc:I don't do a lot of international.

00:39:25Guest:Why not?

00:39:26Marc:I've done theaters in London.

00:39:30Marc:I did a tour of Scandinavia.

00:39:32Marc:How was that?

00:39:32Marc:It was pretty good.

00:39:34Marc:I did Stockholm.

00:39:36Marc:I did Oslo.

00:39:37Marc:I did Amsterdam.

00:39:39Marc:Yeah.

00:39:40Guest:And they all know you from your podcast?

00:39:42Marc:Kinda, yeah.

00:39:43Guest:That's amazing.

00:39:44Guest:I think so.

00:39:45Marc:And yeah, most of those were pretty English speaking.

00:39:47Marc:They got it.

00:39:48Marc:London was okay.

00:39:50Marc:I've done, but that's pretty, I think that's the extent of it.

00:39:52Marc:Australia, I've hit or miss in places in Australia.

00:39:56Marc:I had to change venues in Brisbane, but apparently it's not, I shouldn't be too hard on myself about that.

00:40:01Marc:So we're going to put you in the smaller one.

00:40:03Marc:No problem.

00:40:04Guest:I would rather have been in the small.

00:40:05Guest:They put me up in the Melbourne Comedy Festival.

00:40:07Guest:I was in the round tent.

00:40:10Guest:You know what I'm talking about?

00:40:11Marc:I don't know.

00:40:12Marc:I don't know.

00:40:13Marc:I did Sydney.

00:40:13Guest:I don't think it's ever fun.

00:40:14Guest:I think I want to be on the same level as the audience.

00:40:17Guest:I don't want to be...

00:40:18Marc:Sometimes you can be too high, yeah.

00:40:20Guest:Well, all of a sudden then you're not connecting to any human beings.

00:40:23Guest:You're talking, you ever catch yourself just talking above?

00:40:26Marc:Sadly, I always focus on one poor person who gets, by the end of the show, very exhausted.

00:40:31Guest:Why?

00:40:31Marc:Because I can't hold eye contact.

00:40:33Marc:I don't know how to just look out, so I'll just look at certain people and then all of a sudden realize what I'm doing and they're just like,

00:40:40Guest:What do you mean you can't hold eye contact?

00:40:42Marc:No, I can't not hold eye contact.

00:40:44Marc:It's hard for me just to play to the room when I'm in the theater.

00:40:48Guest:I think that would be a good description of your shows, that you've laughed, you're entertained, and you're exhausted.

00:40:53Guest:Yeah, for sure.

00:40:55Guest:Draining.

00:40:56Marc:Three stars.

00:40:56Guest:Yeah.

00:40:59Guest:But draining in the best possible way.

00:41:01Guest:I would think that a lot of people go home and cry after your show.

00:41:04Marc:I feel like that's happening right now with the material I'm doing.

00:41:06Marc:So wait.

00:41:07Guest:What's your latest joke?

00:41:08Marc:My latest joke?

00:41:09Marc:Yeah, what do you love?

00:41:10Marc:I'm opening with, I don't want to be negative, but I don't think anything's ever going to get better ever again.

00:41:19Marc:And the kind of laugh it gets is so like they're like, finally, someone's saying it out loud.

00:41:24Guest:I just say like in the next chapter of the pandemic, I wonder what we'll be like.

00:41:29Guest:Yeah.

00:41:30Guest:I got COVID the old fashioned way, making out with a really hot guy in a car.

00:41:34Guest:Yeah.

00:41:35Guest:Seriously.

00:41:35Guest:You did that?

00:41:36Guest:Yeah.

00:41:36Guest:And now I have like a minus two Uber rating, but that's why I call it.

00:41:40Guest:Oh, my.

00:41:41Guest:Did you get it?

00:41:41Guest:I did.

00:41:42Marc:Before the vax or after?

00:41:44Guest:I got it post-vax.

00:41:45Guest:I mean, Vax Vax Booster.

00:41:47Marc:Oh, that's good.

00:41:48Guest:But it was not bad at all.

00:41:50Marc:Yeah, it was annoying, though.

00:41:51Marc:Felt weird, didn't it?

00:41:52Guest:I was so relieved that I got it and that it wasn't bad and that I literally ran to a comedy club because I have not done stand-up really during the last two years.

00:42:03Marc:So once you test it out of the COVID, you're like, I can go now.

00:42:06Guest:But the gift of it was like I run to the stage now and I didn't... You know how you go through phases with stand-up.

00:42:12Marc:It's like... I don't want to... I know.

00:42:14Guest:But then for me, it's exactly how I process my life.

00:42:16Guest:It's like having a therapist and not having had that and also not having that like...

00:42:21Guest:connection to other human beings where you're seeing them affected by what you say.

00:42:25Guest:Yeah.

00:42:25Guest:And it's relatable.

00:42:27Guest:So now I've, I've literally run to the stage and thanks to you.

00:42:30Guest:I did perform at, um, the comedy store.

00:42:33Marc:Yeah.

00:42:33Marc:And I think you psyched yourself out, but yeah, you got to admit that the room was pretty good, right?

00:42:37Marc:Right.

00:42:37Guest:I think you scared me.

00:42:38Guest:I thought I was going to be injected with heroin the minute I walked in the room.

00:42:41Guest:Because you used to talk about it so much about how much drugs were there and how dark it was.

00:42:45Guest:No, it's beautiful.

00:42:46Guest:And each room is so nice.

00:42:49Guest:You're just like, I want to play in that room and I want to play in that room.

00:42:51Guest:I'm glad you had a good experience.

00:42:52Guest:No, I did.

00:42:52Guest:But you know what?

00:42:54Guest:It's good.

00:42:54Guest:When was the last time you were nervous during stand-up?

00:42:58Marc:Well, that's a good question.

00:43:00Marc:Like, I don't know if I get nervous because my brain automatically shifts into how am I going to handle this?

00:43:06Marc:It's not like I'm scared.

00:43:08Marc:It's sort of like if I'm in a room where I can tell the sound isn't great or I'm not going to get the feedback, I'm not going to hear it in the way I want to hear it in order to time myself properly.

00:43:16Marc:Like, for instance, I was at the Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco, and I didn't realize I'd been there before.

00:43:23Marc:It's a sweet room, but it's very wide.

00:43:25Marc:Yeah.

00:43:25Marc:Up by the park?

00:43:27Marc:Yeah.

00:43:27Marc:And but like you can't hear the audience that great, you know, so you're doing these jokes and they feel in your mind like they're maybe falling a little flat.

00:43:37Marc:And so I don't get nervous about that.

00:43:39Marc:It's more like angry.

00:43:40Marc:So I have to just deal with the fact like, all right, so this is what I'm going to be dealing with.

00:43:44Marc:I've gotten professional around it.

00:43:46Marc:I don't I get afraid only when I'm doing a gig that I don't.

00:43:49Marc:want to do or that i feel like the accommodations aren't correct for the performance like i didn't do any of these outdoor shows i wouldn't do it during the pandemic oh i was like in in elevators and parking lots i'm like is the mic on we just start talking you did those oh i did them all see like i wouldn't do i i actually thought during the pandemic like maybe i'm maybe i'm better maybe i'm all better i don't need to do stand up anymore

00:44:11Marc:But it was only because no one else was doing it.

00:44:13Marc:But as soon as someone else started doing it, I was like, all right, game on.

00:44:15Guest:Okay, so what is your actual purpose when you think about doing stand-up?

00:44:19Guest:What is it?

00:44:21Marc:It's a good question because it's certainly not entertaining people.

00:44:26Yeah.

00:44:26Marc:you have legions of fans you're obviously entertaining them but you're somehow i think it's really it's like being heard establishing a connection you know you're looking at things i like getting laughs because i know that people have never thought of it that way right so it's i just i'm kind of purist with the stand-up i don't really see myself as an entertainer but i see myself as a guy who thinks about things and i'm excited that there are certain people that like the way i think

00:44:51Guest:So would you say you're more of a George Carlin?

00:44:53Marc:I guess so.

00:44:55Marc:I'm less anal than him.

00:44:57Marc:I don't prepare as much as him.

00:44:58Marc:I don't write as much as him in the same way.

00:45:01Marc:And so when people leave your shows, how have you changed them?

00:45:03Marc:Well, I think I did something...

00:45:06Marc:There's a line I'm doing tonight.

00:45:08Marc:Lately, because I'm starting to talk a little more frankly about what I see is going on in the world, because I can get pretty heavy.

00:45:17Marc:So the balance I have to really achieve is that if I bring people into that place where they're exhausting because of how I'm doing, I have to figure out how to relieve that occasionally.

00:45:26Guest:Right.

00:45:26Guest:But that's a bigger laugh because you've taken them deeper and deeper.

00:45:30Marc:Right.

00:45:30Marc:But then I have to say, I don't even like my tone right now.

00:45:36Marc:I say, it's a character I'm working on.

00:45:38Marc:It's called me half the time.

00:45:41Guest:See, I think, though, that I didn't realize that there would be ageism in stand-up.

00:45:46Guest:But now I'm just determined because when I first started, people were like, oh, women would always say to me, oh, that's what I was thinking, but I didn't say.

00:45:52Guest:I don't know if you remember this, but I used to talk about sex all the time and the female perspective on it as opposed to just the male perspective.

00:45:58Guest:And now I just want to keep doing it because I refuse to not have women's voices be heard.

00:46:03Marc:That's my thing.

00:46:04Marc:Well, I think the hardest part for what we do, especially when people know us from when we're younger... I was fortunate.

00:46:10Marc:People didn't really give a fuck about me until I was in my 40s.

00:46:14Marc:I just lucked out with cosmic timing and having a skill set.

00:46:18Marc:But I think for people that were popular...

00:46:20Marc:When people were in your 20s and all your audience was in their 20s, that once those people become 40, their lives are completely different.

00:46:29Marc:They're not even going to clubs anymore.

00:46:31Marc:They don't even know what stand-up is anymore.

00:46:33Marc:If you really think about Attell and stuff, who's one of the best comics in the world.

00:46:37Marc:The king.

00:46:37Marc:Yeah, he had this huge following when he had Insomniacs on.

00:46:40Marc:But you've got to figure a lot of the fans are now 40, 45.

00:46:44Marc:Can you get them back out to a club?

00:46:45Marc:Are they still thinking in the same way they used to think?

00:46:48Marc:So it's very hard to age with an audience because they go away.

00:46:53Guest:Well, it's weird for me because the majority of people know me from Sabrina, which is in like its fourth iteration.

00:46:59Guest:It's crazy.

00:47:01Guest:Like eight year olds will come up and recognize me from it.

00:47:04Guest:Yeah.

00:47:04Guest:And then people who I find way too old tell me that they grew up watching it.

00:47:08Guest:I'm like, you have no hair.

00:47:09Guest:There's just not a chance.

00:47:10Guest:that we've been through the whole hair follicle cycle in one career?

00:47:13Marc:Because it doesn't seem that long ago to me.

00:47:15Marc:I see people that watch me on short attention span theater and they're in their 40s and I'm like, what were you, 12?

00:47:20Guest:I know, short attention span theater.

00:47:21Guest:Do you know that my, I don't know if this happened to you, but my nephew got, I hired him to convert my early career and digitize it.

00:47:31Guest:Because it was, the first commercial I ever did, this is going to make me feel 100, was to introduce ATM machines.

00:47:37Guest:I did that commercial.

00:47:40Marc:Look at this wonderful new modern technology where you can get money.

00:47:43Guest:It's a bank and a machine.

00:47:44Guest:And again, and I remember when like basically the internet happened and we were all like, it's never going to last.

00:47:52Marc:I know.

00:47:52Marc:I did a joke about that on my 95 HBO half hour that did not age well.

00:47:57Marc:I said the internet, CB radios were real popular once too.

00:48:02Guest:Do you have any fear of being canceled by anything you say?

00:48:04Marc:No, you know, I'm not really.

00:48:07Marc:I mean, I'm relatively responsible about what I say and I'm not, you know, I definitely am.

00:48:12Marc:I can be a pretty dirty boy, but I, you know, I don't.

00:48:17Guest:I hate that there's a fear that I don't want to feel like and you can see it like people like literally because everything is recorded and then extracted and then edited.

00:48:25Marc:And I've made adjustments.

00:48:27Marc:I've made adjustments.

00:48:28Marc:Yeah.

00:48:29Marc:Yeah, I mean, like I've said things that, and then I've gotten, fortunate for me, you know, I'm not like some international star that's under the microscope.

00:48:37Guest:Well, apparently you are in Scandinavia.

00:48:40Marc:Yeah, but my audience, they're relatively grown up people.

00:48:43Marc:It's not, you know.

00:48:44Marc:And I've made jokes where, like, I did a joke where an Asian person reached out to me and she was offended.

00:48:51Marc:And over time, I realized, like, okay, well, maybe even if I'm telling a story about a guy who I encountered who was racist and did the Japanese voice, you know, like, that's still offensive.

00:49:05Marc:And I understand that.

00:49:06Marc:Like, you know, because, like, even with saying things, sometimes...

00:49:12Marc:even if you're saying it in a context that you think is correct, you're still getting some sort of juice from saying it.

00:49:18Marc:It's almost a way to say the bad thing so you can kind of feel the excitement of saying the bad thing without taking responsibility for it.

00:49:27Marc:But I've corrected stuff around the trans community.

00:49:30Marc:I've corrected stuff in that joke, that Asian thing.

00:49:33Marc:And I've certainly corrected my attitude about the word retard and about, you know, because I really tried to make that work and explain it.

00:49:42Marc:And, you know, and I've definitely had experiences where audience it was different.

00:49:47Marc:It might have been a little pre Twitter or pre this culture that we live in.

00:49:50Marc:But when people have comment, you know, I'll take it to heart and I'll think about it.

00:49:55Marc:And I've been wrong and I'll not do it.

00:49:59Marc:Yeah.

00:49:59Marc:You know, but if I don't feel like I'm wrong.

00:50:01Marc:On my last special, I did a thing about Mike Pence blowing Jesus and assuming that Mike Pence is a closeted homosexual.

00:50:10Marc:That actually offended some people within the homosexual community because they're like, we don't want him.

00:50:15Marc:Why pathologize homosexuality?

00:50:18Marc:Why is that guy the way he is because he's secretly a gay as opposed to just horrible?

00:50:25Marc:And I understood that, but I said, well, I understand that, but I'm still going to do this joke.

00:50:31Guest:Yeah.

00:50:31Marc:And I did it.

00:50:32Guest:And I didn't get... Well, I know, but at that time, at that point, you're not... Who are you doing the joke for?

00:50:37Guest:That particular... I did it on my Netflix special.

00:50:39Guest:No, I know, but I'm saying, who are you doing it for?

00:50:41Guest:If it was funny to you, like when somebody explained stand-up to me, they were like, you will never, ever, ever...

00:50:49Marc:walk in a room with 500 people and they all have your point of view and your perspective right but you will tell a story so well and so that they will and so clearly that they will see it through your eyes and that's why you're making them laugh because it's funny to you yeah I don't like I think a lot of people like there's a lot of people out there that want to you know fuel and start controversy you know on social media platforms but I think a lot of times when somebody says something inappropriate and and

00:51:15Marc:That, you know, the only there's no censorship and there's a fear of repercussions.

00:51:20Marc:But, you know, you got to choose what you're going to do.

00:51:22Marc:Like if you can say whatever you want.

00:51:25Guest:But you're sort of self-censoring yourself.

00:51:27Marc:So what?

00:51:28Marc:We all self-censor every fucking day.

00:51:29Marc:That's how civilization works.

00:51:31Guest:Yeah, you're right.

00:51:32Guest:Otherwise there would be car accidents and people screaming at each other at all times.

00:51:35Marc:But that's sort of happening.

00:51:37Guest:No, it's true.

00:51:37Guest:We are.

00:51:38Guest:We have to modify what you don't want to say something that's going to hurt people's feelings.

00:51:40Guest:And at one time it didn't hurt their feelings.

00:51:42Guest:And now it does.

00:51:43Guest:So you make the adjustment in a relationship with the audience.

00:51:46Guest:That's what you're doing.

00:51:47Marc:Yes.

00:51:47Marc:And with the culture.

00:51:48Marc:Yes.

00:51:49Marc:You know what I mean?

00:51:49Marc:I know it's hard to let go of, you know, the whatever it is.

00:51:53Guest:I know.

00:51:54Guest:I never want to hurt anybody's feelings.

00:51:55Guest:Believe me.

00:51:56Guest:I'm like looking at an audience and going, okay, I never.

00:51:58Marc:I think I did want to hurt people's feelings at one time.

00:52:00Guest:I think you did.

00:52:01Marc:I felt like that was a way of connecting.

00:52:02Marc:And it is.

00:52:03Marc:It's like, oh, look, I made you cry.

00:52:04Marc:You must like me.

00:52:05Guest:What was the ultimate shift that you went from being that to who you are now?

00:52:09Guest:This cat is freaking me out.

00:52:10Guest:Why is the one eye so much bigger than the other?

00:52:12Marc:That's actually my old cat.

00:52:13Marc:One eye's different color than the other.

00:52:15Marc:What do you mean it's your old cat?

00:52:17Marc:A fan of mine made that.

00:52:19Marc:It's La Fonda, who's no longer with us.

00:52:21Marc:And La Fonda actually had two different color eyes.

00:52:23Guest:But how were they able to make this?

00:52:25Guest:It's like a plastic toy from China.

00:52:27Marc:Yeah, some people work in plastic.

00:52:29Guest:Wow.

00:52:29Marc:There's a lot of artists around.

00:52:30Marc:What made the shift?

00:52:31Marc:I don't know.

00:52:32Marc:I think that...

00:52:33Marc:A lot of my anger was just really about defensiveness, fear, insecurity, not really knowing who I was or how to be me.

00:52:40Marc:And I think that over time, the podcast enabled me to sort of be who I am in a very broad way so I can be myself.

00:52:49Marc:Like for years, you know, people would try to box me somehow.

00:52:52Marc:Like, you know, he's the angry guy.

00:52:53Marc:He's this guy.

00:52:53Marc:I didn't know who the fuck I was.

00:52:54Marc:I was honestly angry.

00:52:57Marc:It wasn't a character.

00:52:58Marc:So I've never really been able to.

00:52:59Guest:What were you angry about?

00:53:01Marc:I was just scared, man.

00:53:02Marc:And I was defensive and I wanted to, you know, be righteous somehow.

00:53:05Marc:I wanted to do the kind of comedy that was provocative.

00:53:09Marc:Right.

00:53:09Marc:And I wanted to push the envelope.

00:53:11Guest:Like Sam Kinison?

00:53:12Marc:I don't know if it was like Sam because I, you know, he.

00:53:15Guest:Like a first time on stage and you're discovering yourself.

00:53:17Guest:Were you that guy?

00:53:18Marc:No.

00:53:18Marc:No, who were you?

00:53:20Marc:Some more Woody Allen-ish, probably.

00:53:22Guest:Really?

00:53:22Marc:Yeah.

00:53:23Marc:I mean, like, my heroes when I was a kid, like, I was doing jokes.

00:53:27Marc:I was sort of like that.

00:53:28Marc:There was a joke I did about, you know, it was, I can't remember, like, if you have sex, you'll get AIDS, if you smoke, if you don't wear your seat.

00:53:36Marc:It was some sort of, like, I was always sort of trying to do socially relevant stuff.

00:53:40Marc:But when I did stand up in college for the first time, it was a little more Jewish and a little more whatever.

00:53:45Guest:But it wasn't me.

00:53:46Guest:So how old were you when you went on stage?

00:53:48Marc:I started doing stand-up, I think, a bit.

00:53:52Marc:I put together an act with Steve Brill when I was in college.

00:53:55Marc:I think I went on stage, 63, 73, 83.

00:53:57Marc:I was probably 20 the first time I went on stage in college.

00:54:00Guest:And was it like the life stream?

00:54:01Marc:No, it was terrible.

00:54:02Guest:No, no, but when you were a kid, like when I was seven, I was like, I want to be Carol Burnett and Johnny Carson.

00:54:06Marc:That was it.

00:54:07Marc:Yeah.

00:54:07Marc:No, I love stand-ups, yeah.

00:54:09Guest:So that was it.

00:54:10Guest:You wanted to be a stand-up.

00:54:11Marc:Yeah, I didn't know how one did it, but I loved it.

00:54:13Marc:But I was terrified for probably up until a couple years ago.

00:54:16Guest:What was the first comedy album that you ever owned?

00:54:21Marc:I feel like it must have been George Carlin's Class Clown.

00:54:24Guest:Okay.

00:54:24Marc:Probably.

00:54:25Guest:Mine was Steve Martin's.

00:54:26Marc:Oh, Let's Get Small.

00:54:28Marc:Yeah.

00:54:28Marc:And then I had Cheech and Chong's.

00:54:30Guest:Yeah.

00:54:30Marc:And then I had some, I think we had a Pryor at some point.

00:54:35Marc:I think I had Pryor's Greatest Hits at some point.

00:54:36Marc:There was a lot of Carlin records around first.

00:54:38Guest:I used to watch Carson and I would always know what the punchline was going to be.

00:54:42Guest:I could hear the joke.

00:54:44Guest:And I think, and it's funny to me that you have six guitars because stand up to me is music.

00:54:48Guest:Do you agree with that?

00:54:49Guest:Oh, you have seven.

00:54:50Guest:Yeah.

00:54:50Marc:For me, it eventually becomes that.

00:54:53Marc:There's a rhythm to it.

00:54:54Marc:I get that.

00:54:54Marc:I understand that.

00:54:55Marc:It's not quite like that for me.

00:54:56Guest:No, you have a different... You're more like a poet in a way.

00:55:00Marc:Yeah, I think that's true.

00:55:01Marc:You don't have a traditional... Things become jokes, but I don't have a singular rhythm.

00:55:06Marc:Because if you listen to you or Dave, there's definitely a rhythm to it.

00:55:12Marc:It just keeps moving in this rhythm.

00:55:13Marc:And I think a lot of joke tellers, the good ones, have that.

00:55:17Marc:Jimmy Carr...

00:55:17Guest:jimmy carr is so funny yeah i mean but like that's straight like i could never do that stuff like i i don't have the control no i don't no i'm much more storytelling now than i i have jokes yeah and my i like to like uh you'll see tonight since you've been kind enough to ask me to come do a set but like i i like take what happened in my life and then it becomes a joke and that's where i process it's like a little pricey of what it is yeah you always did that though yeah yeah

00:55:43Marc:I mean, you're saying you're going a little more in detail.

00:55:46Guest:Yeah.

00:55:46Guest:I guess I'm more storytelling.

00:55:48Guest:I don't know.

00:55:48Marc:Yeah.

00:55:49Guest:But so mine is such a desperate need to connect with people.

00:55:52Guest:That's the underlying thing.

00:55:53Guest:I'm I have to stop myself because Dana Gould, who I think is brilliant, never goes to the audience.

00:55:58Guest:He brings them all to him.

00:55:59Guest:Yeah.

00:55:59Guest:And I will go to the audience upon arriving on the stage like I am.

00:56:03Marc:Yeah, that's interesting observation because, yeah, I see people do that.

00:56:06Marc:I think I used to be desperate for that, but always like it always made people uncomfortable.

00:56:10Guest:No, but you always went to the guy in an angry way.

00:56:12Guest:I remember you would be like doing your act.

00:56:14Guest:And then if somebody didn't like you, you would like almost verbally abuse them.

00:56:17Marc:Yeah.

00:56:18Marc:Yeah.

00:56:18Marc:But but like even when I used to do Conan, I'd you know, I'd really be excited and I really think that I was going to nail it out of the gate.

00:56:25Marc:Never did.

00:56:26Marc:It always fell flat.

00:56:27Guest:You know what?

00:56:28Guest:I did Conan, I think, 35 times.

00:56:29Guest:What did you do it?

00:56:30Guest:Like 50 times?

00:56:31Guest:Yeah.

00:56:32Guest:Something like that.

00:56:32Guest:And I adore him.

00:56:33Guest:Yeah.

00:56:34Guest:The panel, you could nail, but it was, that's just a hard, it never felt like you were killing it in stand-up.

00:56:39Guest:Even Letterman, it never felt like you were, like, I remember- They feel a little far away in both of these stories.

00:56:44Marc:Yeah, because like in Conan, they're like in boxes.

00:56:46Marc:Right.

00:56:47Marc:You're literally on stage, you're like, there's a couple of boxes of people that are up on top.

00:56:51Marc:And with Letterman, it was a theater, but like in between you and the people, it was like cameras and people.

00:56:56Marc:Yeah.

00:56:57Guest:What was the greatest set that you had that actually you thought changed your whole like the whole direction of your career?

00:57:04Marc:I think if you look at that 95 HBO half hour where I decided to tell that Jerry Garcia story, like I think that became I didn't know I was going to do it, but I had been doing a lot of, you know, Luna Lounge stuff.

00:57:14Marc:Right.

00:57:15Marc:And I didn't really plan that.

00:57:16Marc:That was my big idea.

00:57:17Marc:It's like, just riff it.

00:57:18Marc:You know, just you have to have a set for your HBO half hour like a fucking idiot.

00:57:23Marc:But right in the middle of it, I do this long story about seeing Jerry Garcia.

00:57:26Marc:And I think that was kind of and people remember that thing.

00:57:29Marc:They know that thing.

00:57:30Guest:Right.

00:57:31Marc:And I think that really became the direction of how I started to do stand up.

00:57:35Marc:Yeah.

00:57:35Guest:Before I did, I wasn't supposed to be on Comic Relief and at the last minute they put me on.

00:57:41Guest:So much so that when I was, I followed, oh my God, what's his name?

00:57:46Guest:And he's married.

00:57:48Marc:That's a big category.

00:57:49Guest:Okay, that is really bad.

00:57:52Guest:Oh.

00:57:52Guest:I know.

00:57:53Guest:Bill.

00:57:54Guest:And he's married to Felicity.

00:57:55Guest:Yeah.

00:57:56Guest:Bill.

00:57:57Guest:Bill Macy.

00:57:58Guest:Macy.

00:57:58Guest:Bill Macy.

00:57:59Guest:William Macy.

00:58:00Guest:Yeah.

00:58:00Guest:Anyway, I was walking out and William Macy, I said, oh, I'm sorry.

00:58:03Guest:I was right behind him as he went to the stage.

00:58:05Guest:And I said, oh, I'm following you.

00:58:06Guest:And he goes, he turns around.

00:58:07Guest:He goes, why are you following me?

00:58:09Guest:And I go, well, that's just the order that they put us on.

00:58:12Guest:Yeah.

00:58:12Guest:He had no idea I was a stand up.

00:58:13Guest:Yeah.

00:58:14Guest:And then from there that night I got proposed to.

00:58:17Guest:Milos Forman was in the audience.

00:58:19Guest:Yeah.

00:58:19Guest:He cast me in Man on the Moon and I got put on Hollywood Squares all from that one night.

00:58:25Guest:What year was that?

00:58:25Guest:1921.

00:58:27Guest:Wow.

00:58:27Guest:Yeah, it was a good year.

00:58:30Yeah.

00:58:30Wow.

00:58:31Marc:But how did you, like, because we were doing all the same shows, you know, like MTV, A Half Hour, Evening at the Improv, all that shit.

00:58:39Marc:So how did Sabrina happen?

00:58:42Guest:Well, you know what's really funny?

00:58:44Guest:They had come to see me...

00:58:48Guest:Carsey Warner, I think they were coming to see me and the Martins are managers.

00:58:54Guest:Yeah.

00:58:55Guest:Put Brett on as well.

00:58:56Marc:Yeah.

00:58:57Guest:And Brett got grace under fire from that.

00:58:59Marc:Really?

00:59:00Guest:Yes.

00:59:01Guest:And then I, when I got, I got Sabrina, this is how funny it was.

00:59:04Guest:I had been in Hawaii and,

00:59:06Guest:This is how long ago it was.

00:59:07Guest:There were no camera phones, right?

00:59:09Guest:Yeah.

00:59:09Guest:Because I said, we broke up before the pictures were developed.

00:59:12Guest:Yeah.

00:59:12Guest:And I had a Polaroid.

00:59:14Guest:And he was smelly and disgusting.

00:59:16Guest:And I don't know why I ever went with that guy.

00:59:18Guest:Anyway, the Martins passed on it.

00:59:21Guest:On Sabrina.

00:59:21Guest:Yeah.

00:59:21Guest:So the night before, I got a call saying, are you sure you won't go in on the show?

00:59:26Guest:And I'm like...

00:59:27Marc:You didn't even hear about it.

00:59:28Guest:Yeah.

00:59:28Guest:I said, what are you talking about?

00:59:29Guest:She said, yeah, your managers passed on it.

00:59:31Guest:I go, I've never even heard of it.

00:59:34Guest:And this is how long ago it was.

00:59:35Guest:They faxed me the script.

00:59:37Guest:It was in curled pages.

00:59:38Guest:I had to go across the street and like pick it up anyway.

00:59:43Marc:Yeah.

00:59:43Guest:So that was 96.

00:59:44Guest:And then I got that.

00:59:45Guest:And that's when you didn't speak to me for a few years.

00:59:47Marc:Because I was jealous?

00:59:48Guest:Yes, because you told me.

00:59:50Guest:I said, Mark, why are we not friends anymore?

00:59:52Guest:He's like, because I'm jealous and bitter, and you're on TV, and I'm not.

00:59:55Marc:Wow.

00:59:56Guest:But you were straightforward and honest.

00:59:57Marc:The funny thing is, I was doing everything I could to never get on television.

01:00:02Marc:And it was working.

01:00:03Marc:But I don't... What would anyone... Thank God I was unique enough to keep being carried by stand-up.

01:00:10Marc:I would get stand-up shows and stuff.

01:00:13Guest:You have a very well-earned success.

01:00:16Marc:Yeah, I'll say.

01:00:17Guest:Okay.

01:00:17Guest:Most people would have been more gracious with a compliment, but that's an interesting twist.

01:00:21Guest:I'll say fucking right.

01:00:23Guest:Yeah.

01:00:23Guest:Took him forever to get me.

01:00:25Marc:Exactly.

01:00:25Guest:Yeah.

01:00:26Marc:Took me forever to get me.

01:00:27Marc:No, I thank you.

01:00:28Marc:That's very nice of you to say.

01:00:30Marc:So Sabrina, despite me being angry about it, but that was like the hugest thing.

01:00:35Marc:It's the biggest gift in the world.

01:00:37Marc:And you did it for how many years?

01:00:38Guest:I did it for six years.

01:00:39Marc:And people loved you.

01:00:40Guest:But it's still on the air.

01:00:42Guest:It's been on the air every single day since like 1999.

01:00:45Marc:What are the royalty checks like now?

01:00:47Guest:A dollar.

01:00:49Guest:I literally got notified.

01:00:51Guest:It said, we have deposited .06 cents into your account.

01:00:54Guest:I was like, oh, well, thank you very much.

01:00:57Guest:Call me when you get to a dollar.

01:00:58Marc:Do you still talk to the kid?

01:00:59Guest:I do.

01:00:59Guest:I talk to all of them.

01:01:00Guest:I'm going to see them next week.

01:01:02Guest:We're doing a 90s reunion.

01:01:04Guest:For what?

01:01:06Guest:People who were on TV in the 90s.

01:01:07Marc:Is it going to be televised?

01:01:09Guest:No.

01:01:09Guest:A private event?

01:01:11Marc:A fun event?

01:01:12Guest:I rarely do them.

01:01:13Marc:It's not a VH1 show?

01:01:15No.

01:01:15Guest:Thank you.

01:01:17Guest:I really do them, but I used to get upset because there were people who I thought, why are you spending this money that you obviously need in order just to say hello to us?

01:01:27Guest:But sports fans go to sports games.

01:01:30Guest:It's really sweet, these kids that grew up with you.

01:01:33Marc:So this is an event.

01:01:34Guest:Yeah, it's an event.

01:01:35Marc:And people come.

01:01:36Guest:Yeah.

01:01:36Marc:Where is it?

01:01:37Guest:In Hartford, Connecticut.

01:01:38Marc:Really?

01:01:39Guest:Yeah, and we're all going.

01:01:40Marc:So what other shows?

01:01:42Marc:Is it just Sabrina?

01:01:43Guest:No, it's... I've never heard of these.

01:01:46Marc:So they're like nostalgia shows.

01:01:47Marc:So you'd sign stuff.

01:01:49Guest:Yes.

01:01:49Marc:You hang out.

01:01:50Guest:But the fact that you use the word nostalgia, I need to find something sharp to impale myself with.

01:01:54Guest:Because, I mean, what?

01:01:57Guest:God.

01:02:00Guest:Yeah.

01:02:00Guest:You know, nostalgia.

01:02:02Guest:Why don't you just call it an antique show?

01:02:04Guest:It's an antique show where people look at collectible old, old things like coins from the Parthenon.

01:02:12Guest:Look, here's Pluto's diary and a picture of Caroline Ray.

01:02:15Marc:How much is this stuff worth?

01:02:18Guest:I don't know, because every time anybody goes to pay, I'm like, oh, here you go.

01:02:22Guest:Yeah.

01:02:22Marc:No, you don't have to.

01:02:23Marc:Yeah.

01:02:23Guest:Sorry.

01:02:24Marc:What other shows?

01:02:25Guest:I think Boy Meets World, which was a big one, because Daniel Fishel, who's with Topanga, who I love.

01:02:31Guest:I don't know.

01:02:32Guest:There's a lot of 90s people there.

01:02:33Guest:Oh, that's wild.

01:02:34Guest:It was going to be.

01:02:35Marc:What?

01:02:36Guest:Your voice.

01:02:37Guest:You're like, oh, that's wild.

01:02:38Marc:No, I never knew it happened, but I know there's Comic-Con.

01:02:41Marc:There's all these different cons.

01:02:41Guest:It's like that.

01:02:42Guest:Yeah, I know.

01:02:43Guest:I get it.

01:02:43Guest:You know, I only realized that cons stood for convention.

01:02:45Guest:I'm not kidding.

01:02:46Guest:Just recently?

01:02:46Guest:No, I'm not kidding.

01:02:47Marc:You thought it was a grift?

01:02:48Guest:No, I didn't know what it was.

01:02:49Marc:Look at all these people hustling.

01:02:50Guest:Exactly.

01:02:51Guest:It's a con.

01:02:52Guest:Yeah.

01:02:52Guest:Sometimes I think I'm so quick, and then other times I'm so up to it.

01:02:55Guest:Like, the fact that our last name was Spellman.

01:02:57Marc:Yeah.

01:02:58Guest:Thought we were Jewish.

01:02:58Guest:Had no idea it was a witch thing until season four.

01:03:00Guest:Not kidding.

01:03:01Marc:Really?

01:03:01Guest:Yeah.

01:03:02Guest:I just thought we were Jewish witches.

01:03:03Marc:Yeah.

01:03:03Marc:Well, I mean, a lot of people believe that about you.

01:03:05Marc:Yeah.

01:03:06Marc:It's actually an anti-Semitic show.

01:03:08Marc:No, it's not.

01:03:09Marc:I'm kidding.

01:03:10Marc:Relax.

01:03:10Marc:You're not on the payroll anymore, really.

01:03:13Guest:Thank you.

01:03:14Marc:So, all right, let's talk again.

01:03:15Guest:Not again, but let's... I have to go in five minutes, and I know you've talked to me way too long.

01:03:22Marc:Where are you going?

01:03:23Guest:I have an appointment.

01:03:25Marc:Where?

01:03:25Marc:Can you give me a ride to the Toyota place?

01:03:27Marc:Yes.

01:03:27Marc:Okay.

01:03:27Guest:Where is it?

01:03:28Marc:It's on brand.

01:03:29Marc:It's like five minutes.

01:03:30Guest:Yes.

01:03:30Guest:We have to go soon.

01:03:31Marc:Okay.

01:03:31Marc:Let me just ask you about the talk show.

01:03:33Guest:Okay.

01:03:34Guest:In a minute?

01:03:35Marc:Yeah.

01:03:35Marc:What happened?

01:03:36Guest:It was a weird experience.

01:03:37Guest:What happened with that?

01:03:39Guest:Well, the talk show was, you know what?

01:03:41Guest:This is how I look at my life.

01:03:43Guest:The talk show, this is how my experience is.

01:03:46Guest:It's never the thing right in front of you.

01:03:47Guest:It's the thing right beside it that you're supposed to be excited about.

01:03:50Guest:Yeah.

01:03:51Guest:So I thought the talk show was going to be like the biggest thing.

01:03:54Guest:Yeah.

01:03:54Guest:But what happened was it got canceled and I called my agent and said...

01:03:58Guest:I want to go on the road and I want to do stand up.

01:04:01Guest:I remember that.

01:04:02Marc:That's when we became friends again.

01:04:03Guest:OK.

01:04:03Guest:And then thank you.

01:04:05Guest:And I literally called and I was helping this girl who basically needed time.

01:04:11Guest:So I was taking her on the road.

01:04:12Guest:And who was that?

01:04:14Guest:Her name was La Mer.

01:04:15Guest:Yeah.

01:04:16Guest:And she was a comedian.

01:04:16Guest:And you know, like, you know, you have to take them on the road when they need stage time, right?

01:04:20Guest:So I was, you only get to be a great comic, not with your five minute set, but when you have a 10 minute set and you have five minutes of material and then you let

01:04:29Guest:the channel of wherever it's coming from go through you and you trust it.

01:04:32Guest:And all being a stand-up is, it's like the longer you do it, the more you trust it.

01:04:36Guest:Because it's not a tangible gift.

01:04:37Guest:We can't wake up in the morning and practice our stand-up.

01:04:40Marc:Yeah, some people do.

01:04:41Guest:Well, no, but it's not like you can weld.

01:04:43Guest:You know what I mean?

01:04:44Guest:It's intangible what we do.

01:04:46Guest:It comes from something.

01:04:47Marc:Right, how many episodes of the show did you do?

01:04:49Guest:Oh my God, of what, the talk show?

01:04:51Guest:Yeah.

01:04:51Guest:A year, I don't know, 300?

01:04:53Marc:Because I remember it looked all good and it looked like it fit you.

01:04:57Guest:I know.

01:04:58Marc:Yeah.

01:04:59Guest:Anyway, I went on the road and the punchline said, we can't, we haven't, I said, I'm bringing this girl and I said, no, we booked this guy.

01:05:06Guest:He's like a local hero.

01:05:07Guest:He's headlining and then he's willing to feature for you on the weekend.

01:05:10Guest:Yeah.

01:05:11Guest:And I was like, what's his name?

01:05:12Guest:And he's like, Kostaki Economopoulos.

01:05:14Guest:And then as soon as I met him, I literally said to him the first thing, I'm like, oh, you're all shiny.

01:05:17Guest:Yeah.

01:05:19Guest:And why, as far as I'm concerned, every rejection in the world was worth it to meet him because I had my daughter.

01:05:27Marc:Yeah.

01:05:28Guest:So that's what I'm saying.

01:05:29Guest:The talk show was just if it hadn't been canceled.

01:05:31Guest:Sure.

01:05:32Guest:I wouldn't have heard.

01:05:33Marc:Sure.

01:05:33Marc:If I wasn't fired and gotten divorced, I wouldn't have made the podcast.

01:05:37Guest:Exactly.

01:05:37Marc:As opposed to kill myself.

01:05:38Guest:Right.

01:05:39Guest:Exactly.

01:05:40Guest:Those are your choices.

01:05:41Guest:Podcast was much better for everyone.

01:05:43Marc:Yeah.

01:05:43Marc:But here's another thing I remember just given that you and I. Yes.

01:05:49Marc:Somehow or another.

01:05:50Guest:We on a short attention span theater together at some point.

01:05:53Marc:I don't think so.

01:05:54Marc:I was John Stewart, another Jew that you know.

01:05:57Marc:Thank you.

01:05:58Guest:No, it was between me and Patty Rosborough for that.

01:06:00Guest:Right.

01:06:00Guest:And I have the original footage of me doing it because I did it about five times.

01:06:04Marc:You're probably great at that, yeah.

01:06:04Guest:I looked like Diane Sawyer, like I was presenting the real news.

01:06:08Guest:I was the biggest nerd.

01:06:09Guest:I had like my astronaut wife hairdo.

01:06:11Guest:Yeah.

01:06:11Guest:I know.

01:06:12Guest:That was your bit.

01:06:13Guest:Yeah, I know.

01:06:13Guest:Okay.

01:06:14Okay.

01:06:14Marc:You like we went for some reason you and I went to Norm MacDonald's hotel room on the night of his first Letterman and we watched it with him.

01:06:26Marc:He laid on the bed with his face down in the pillow and you and I stood there in that room.

01:06:31Guest:Okay, I was at Letterman with him.

01:06:33Marc:Right.

01:06:34Guest:Were you there too?

01:06:35Marc:No, but I don't know, somehow maybe you came to a club or something.

01:06:38Guest:Norm MacDonald was one of the three men in my life who told me I had a great ass.

01:06:43Guest:Of all the men.

01:06:45Guest:Poor Norm.

01:06:46Guest:Do you remember that?

01:06:47Guest:I remember it.

01:06:48Marc:I remember going to his hotel room because you must have gone to the show and then for some reason- I called you?

01:06:53Marc:You called me or maybe you went to a club and you said, well, I'm going up to Norm's hotel room to watch it.

01:06:57Guest:And we watched it together.

01:06:58Marc:Yeah, but he didn't watch it.

01:06:59Marc:He had his face.

01:07:00Marc:He was laying on the bed.

01:07:01Guest:Because Norm was sick.

01:07:02Guest:He had like stomach issues all the way back then.

01:07:04Marc:He didn't want to watch himself.

01:07:05Guest:Yes, but he didn't want to watch himself.

01:07:07Marc:That's funny.

01:07:08Guest:I have a picture of me watching myself on Conan the first time.

01:07:11Marc:How did you look?

01:07:13Guest:I looked, you know, I looked young, Mark.

01:07:16Guest:I looked really young.

01:07:17Marc:I can watch myself now a little easier.

01:07:19Guest:I can't.

01:07:19Guest:I cannot watch myself on anything.

01:07:21Guest:Oh, my God.

01:07:21Guest:It's torture.

01:07:22Marc:I used to not be able to, but now I'm still like.

01:07:25Guest:I literally, I have a new franchise of movies on the Hallmark Channel called It's Mrs. Miracle.

01:07:32Guest:You do?

01:07:32Guest:Yeah.

01:07:34Guest:We just did one, A Mrs. Miracle Christmas.

01:07:36Guest:Doris Roberts played Mrs. Miracle.

01:07:38Guest:And I remember being in Toronto.

01:07:40Guest:You're the producer?

01:07:40Guest:Yeah.

01:07:40Guest:No, I'm on it.

01:07:41Guest:Okay.

01:07:42Guest:I'm Mrs. Miracle.

01:07:43Guest:I'm the producer.

01:07:44Guest:Excuse me, confidence sucker.

01:07:46Guest:What are you talking about?

01:07:47Guest:I'm the gaffer.

01:07:48Guest:I'm the best boy on the show, and I just wanted to bring it up.

01:07:51Guest:I do lighting, but only for the extras.

01:07:52Guest:What does the gaffer do?

01:07:54Guest:Is he the lighter?

01:07:54Guest:I never know what any of them do.

01:07:56Guest:Anyway, you're not getting a lot right.

01:07:59Guest:Taona, if you don't, let me finish.

01:08:01Guest:Okay.

01:08:01Guest:So, oh, anyway, I watched the movie and I was like, oh my God, my mother was fantastic in that movie.

01:08:07Guest:I was like, when did that happen?

01:08:09Marc:But was that good work?

01:08:12Marc:It was great.

01:08:12Marc:I love it.

01:08:13Marc:I play an angel.

01:08:14Marc:What's this cartoon you do forever?

01:08:16Guest:Phineas and Ferb?

01:08:17Marc:Yeah.

01:08:18Guest:No, Candace, the boys are not building a rocket ship.

01:08:20Guest:Would anyone like pie?

01:08:21Guest:Where's Perry?

01:08:23Marc:But it's a great gig, right?

01:08:24Guest:It's the greatest gig.

01:08:25Guest:I mean, that's just on in syndication.

01:08:27Marc:That's Disney?

01:08:28Guest:Yeah.

01:08:29Marc:But you do a lot of family stuff.

01:08:30Marc:It's nice, right?

01:08:31Guest:I do.

01:08:31Guest:It's very nice.

01:08:32Guest:Yeah.

01:08:32Guest:I do a lot of family stuff, and you do a lot of, you know.

01:08:36Marc:I don't know.

01:08:38Marc:I talk to people.

01:08:40Guest:You talk to Keith Richards and have them give you hats.

01:08:43Marc:Life is good.

01:08:43Marc:The weird thing is I'm pressing for the hat.

01:08:45Marc:That's the fucked up thing about the hat story.

01:08:48Marc:It wasn't passing.

01:08:49Marc:I've now told the publicist and the person that works for Keith that I want to know where Patty and Alexandria, whichever daughter, found the hat.

01:08:57Marc:I want to know the website of the hat.

01:08:59Guest:No, you want Keith Richards to send you his hat that Patty got you.

01:09:02Guest:That's what you want.

01:09:04Guest:That's what you're asking for.

01:09:05Marc:Nice talking to you.

01:09:06Guest:I love you.

01:09:06Marc:I love you too.

01:09:14Guest:Caroline.

01:09:15Guest:Hi.

01:09:16Guest:Hi.

01:09:17Guest:Caroline.

01:09:18Guest:Hi.

01:09:20Marc:The show is LOL, Last One Laughing Canada.

01:09:23Marc:It's on Prime Video, comedy competition show.

01:09:28Marc:She'll be doing stand-up here and there.

01:09:29Marc:Got to get her back out there.

01:09:30Marc:I put her up at Largo on my show.

01:09:32Marc:Very fun.

01:09:33Marc:Always funny.

01:09:34Marc:She needs it, man.

01:09:36Marc:She needs the laughs, you guys.

01:09:38Marc:It took me so long just to do this lick that I barely could pull off.

01:09:45Marc:It's not even that complicated.

01:09:46Marc:It doesn't matter.

01:09:48Marc:It's nice.

01:09:48Marc:It's pleasant.

01:10:15Guest:guitar solo

01:10:57Guest:Boomer lives.

01:11:19Guest:Monkey and La Fonda.

01:11:20Guest:Cat angels everywhere.

01:11:29Thank you.