Episode 1304 - Chris Spencer
Marc:all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck buddies what the fuck nicks it's me mark maron this is my podcast wtf welcome to it it's been a fun run lately a lot of good conversations i enjoy talking to creative people that do interesting things
Marc:I worry about it sometimes.
Marc:I worry about when you talk to somebody like, let's say Tony Kushner last week, when you talk to somebody that has a sort of intellectual and elevated sense of creativity and a sophistication and a sense of purpose and an idea of moving things forward in a progressive way, and you look at the culture we live in and you start to think like, well, is all that going to go away?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Is all of that, when does that get steamrolled by stupidity?
Marc:When does the sort of movements of progressive creativity start getting steamrolled by stupidity?
Marc:I mean, they're already almost all marginalized to some degree, and this is just output.
Marc:I'm not talking about individuals.
Marc:I'm not talking about people.
Marc:I'm talking about art in and of itself.
Marc:Painting, jazz, poetry, things that were sort of kind of soul sustenance, things that you may not do every day, but when you do them, you're sort of like, why don't I do these things every day?
Marc:Why don't I nourish my brain with this type of creativity?
Marc:I don't know what happens to it all.
Marc:And maybe I'm just becoming an old guy, but it just seems that there's a consolidation of, you know, dumb, dumb output going on that seems to be kind of like a tsunami, just kind of steamrolling and blowing over the kind of more delicate, more fragile, more personal, actually more risky voices and output.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I just think that once the stupid decide on a uniform, we're all in trouble, and I guess we'll all be eating the same thing and listening to the same marching band.
Marc:Who knows, right?
Marc:How's it going?
Marc:Everybody okay?
Marc:Chris Spencer's on the show today.
Marc:He's a comedian.
Marc:I work with him all the time.
Marc:He came up to me a couple weeks ago, and he's like...
Marc:Can I do your show?
Marc:I'm like, haven't you been on the show?
Marc:Have I done that many podcasts where now I'm sort of I don't I'm not sure who's been on and who hasn't.
Marc:I guess so.
Marc:It's got to be almost 1300.
Marc:I guess that happens.
Marc:He's been around a while.
Marc:He's worked and written with the Wayans brothers, with Jamie Foxx, Chris Rock.
Marc:He's good friends with and produces things with and works with Kevin Hart.
Marc:His big break was a million years ago hosting the Vibe talk show.
Marc:And that was sort of what was interesting to me.
Marc:You know, just going back with a dude that's been in it that long, you know, probably a little less time than me has had some big breaks or thought to be big breaks at the time and sort of survived them not being big breaks.
Marc:And we got to talking about stuff, man.
Marc:I guess remembering things.
Marc:About coming up in this business.
Marc:And just the idea.
Marc:Living in this city.
Marc:I'm in New York right now.
Marc:I didn't tell you I was coming.
Marc:But that's where I am.
Marc:I'm here.
Marc:I'm in New York City.
Marc:And I got to be honest with you.
Marc:I'm an old man already.
Marc:And.
Marc:This is the nicest hotel room I've ever stayed in.
Marc:And it's not even that extravagant.
Marc:It's a suite, but it's just so fucking tastefully done.
Marc:Isn't that exciting?
Marc:Isn't that a nice thing that at this age you can experience sort of like, oh, I've been in a lot of hotels in my life.
Marc:I've even been in some really nice ones.
Marc:One night I stayed at, what's that hotel in Austin?
Marc:There's some old ass hotel in Austin.
Marc:And somehow or another, I was put in the LBJ suite and it was like, you know, leather furniture.
Marc:It was huge.
Marc:I think there was like a kitchen in it.
Marc:The Driscoll.
Marc:That must be it.
Marc:Right.
Marc:The Driscoll.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:I think that's it.
Marc:And somehow or another, I'm in this LBJ suite.
Marc:And it was way too much room for me.
Marc:There was like a dining room.
Marc:It was crazy.
Marc:And as extravagant as that was, that should have been like, this is really amazing.
Marc:This is an amazing hotel room.
Marc:But I was there for one night.
Marc:I was literally in that room for like six hours.
Marc:I couldn't even, you know...
Marc:you know, sit on all of the furniture or even use all the rooms or, or even, you know, sort of, I don't even think I had time to masturbate in the LBJ suite, but right now I'm down in Soho and I don't know if it was just redone or what, but the decor and maybe I'm just getting old and soft.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:It's just stunning down to every detail.
Marc:The windows are glorious and,
Marc:I usually stay on the east side, but now I'm in Soho.
Marc:I don't know if it's a step up.
Marc:It's kind of a step sideways on the island, and I just want to live in this room.
Marc:Maybe that's what I'm working towards.
Marc:Maybe someday I'll just have enough money and not enough to do, and I'll just spend my last days in a hotel, slowly losing my mind.
Marc:Nice hotel.
Marc:That's all I'm saying.
Marc:I've been here for like...
Marc:Two days, and it's always great to come to New York.
Marc:I mean, the weather, although it's cold, it's clear, it's sunny, it's crisp, and it's fucking spectacular.
Marc:I love being here.
Marc:I love being in this city.
Marc:I think I only like it for a few days, but I don't know.
Marc:There's some part of me, I'm looking to do something, something different, you know, before everything gets ugly.
Marc:I mean, it's already pretty ugly, but, you know, I don't know how much time I got left.
Marc:So there was part of me that thinks like, well, maybe you should live part-time in New York.
Marc:What for?
Marc:Can barely go to the comedy clubs here.
Marc:I don't know why.
Marc:I just don't feel like it.
Marc:But it's great being here.
Marc:I got here the other night.
Marc:I came in a night early so I could go to dinner with my buddy Sam Lipsight.
Marc:And as some of you know, I've been sort of fasting and dieting and COVIDing.
Marc:And when I got here, it was as if I had never eaten before.
Marc:And I have an odd relationship with food and overeating, but Jesus Christ, it's been fucking awesome.
Marc:Sam and I went over to Kiklides, which is this Greek seafood joint.
Marc:They got one out in Queens.
Marc:I got one here.
Marc:We always go there.
Marc:The next day, Brendan came over.
Marc:We did an interview, Roy Wood Jr.
Marc:in the hotel room here at the suite.
Marc:Then we went out and got pizza, Prince Street Pizza, the square kind.
Marc:I guess there's two places to eat pizza in New York.
Marc:I mean, I don't know.
Marc:I'm sure it's up for debate and argument.
Marc:But go to Joe's over on Carmine and Sixth, or apparently this Prince Street place, which I'd never been to, but it's the square style, rectangle pizzas.
Marc:Crispy bottom.
Marc:Had the margarita slice and a pepperoni slice.
Marc:It was awesome.
Marc:Heart jamming.
Marc:Then I went over to, me and Brendan went over to Ferrara, the 100-year-old Italian pastry place that my grandma used to take me when we'd come into the city.
Marc:Had a ricotta cheesecake and a sfagliatelle, you know, with the clam-shaped thing with ricotta in it.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:Then last night I went to Balthazar.
Marc:Oh, I can't.
Marc:Why am I just, what is this?
Marc:Why is all my, I love to eat and I hate it.
Marc:I just can't, I can't win.
Marc:I can't win in my body.
Marc:I can't win in this vessel with me.
Marc:I do okay with other people, but with me, I'm not winning.
Marc:Always losing.
Marc:Here's what's going on.
Marc:This is why I'm in New York.
Marc:DreamWorks flew me out here.
Marc:We're doing some press related stuff for this animated film I'm in called The Bad Guys.
Marc:It's me, Sam Rockwell, Craig Robinson, Tony Ramos, Zazie Bates, Alex Borstein, Awkwafina.
Marc:It's positioned to be a pretty big animated film, and I had not seen a full cut.
Marc:And we're here to do this press-related stuff for two days.
Marc:That's why I'm here in New York.
Marc:But last night, they screened the movie here at the hotel.
Marc:Sam was there and Zazie and...
Marc:Lilly Singh was there, and the director, producers, and some guests of ours.
Marc:It was like 20 people.
Marc:And we got to watch the film in its full, it's finished.
Marc:And I'd never seen it before.
Marc:And it's wild to see a whole animated movie where I play the snake.
Marc:I'm Mr. Snake.
Marc:Rockwell is Mr. Wolf.
Marc:To make the adjustment, just watching it as myself, about a third of the way into the movie, it was like I was the snake.
Marc:And it was emotional and engaging and exciting.
Marc:I couldn't, you know, the movie's great.
Marc:And it's about friendship in a way.
Marc:And it was just so goddamn sweet and so spectacular.
Marc:I'm thrilled about it.
Marc:You know, I don't know what to tell you, man.
Marc:I come back to the city.
Marc:I think about my past here.
Marc:I think about living on the Lower East Side, you know, less than a mile away from where I am right now in the nicest hotel room I've ever been in my life.
Marc:Sitting in a fucking one room apartment on the Lower East Side, waiting till 1030 at night to go do my one spot.
Marc:just sitting there and with hardly a kitchen bed on the floor and now i'm over here i mean you know it took what 30 years 35 years but now i'm over here uh in this beautiful room and i just watched an animated movie with me in it made by dreamworks sometimes you got to be grateful i mean it could have gone either way it could have gone anyway it could have gone you know i could be on the wrong side of the fucking grass man
Marc:We all will.
Marc:But I mean, why ruin a moment of gratitude?
Marc:Why ruin a moment of gratitude with death?
Marc:Let's turn it to gratitude as you know, we're in the final days of democracy and maybe the planet Earth because, you know, the bad guys win almost always.
Marc:Let's find a little room for gratitude for our journeys.
Marc:for our appreciation of life.
Marc:Let's find a moment.
Marc:Let's listen to me and Chris Spencer lay it out.
Marc:Lives in show business.
Marc:Great guy.
Marc:Funny guy.
Marc:You can see him regularly at the Comedy Store with me sometimes.
Marc:You can go to his Twitter, at the Chris Spencer, to see where he's on tour.
Marc:He'll be in Virginia Beach this Friday and Saturday at the Funny Bone.
Marc:And this is me talking to Chris back in the garage studio back in L.A.
Bye.
Bye.
Marc:So what are you shooting, man?
Guest:I shot.
Guest:It's over.
Guest:I shot a feature.
Guest:But no, today?
Guest:Oh, today.
Guest:I'm sorry.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Today, Kevin Hart has this show called Game Face or Face Off something.
Guest:Now, okay, let's just back up a minute.
Marc:How many shows does Kevin Hart have?
Guest:Jesus Christ.
Guest:That's what I thought he was.
Guest:He had enough.
Guest:He has a virtual game show.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:And today, Charlamagne Tha God, who's on The Breakfast Club, and then the singer Saweetie, and then me and my wife, and we played the easiest game you've ever seen in your life.
Marc:So this is a Kevin Hart game show, and then he's got a radio thing, right?
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:He has everything.
Marc:I have a podcast.
Guest:It was going to be a podcast.
Guest:You still do the one with Al?
Guest:No.
Guest:No, we were like the first.
Guest:It was like me and you and somebody else.
Guest:I remember.
Guest:This podcast world star.
Guest:Yeah, it was called Minivan Man.
Guest:Me, Maz Jobrani, and Al.
Guest:Al's very big now.
Guest:He's very hard to get hold of.
Guest:So here was my problem with podcasts.
Guest:I didn't get it, so I was trying to be funny and they weren't.
Guest:And I was like, how come nobody's trying to be funny?
Guest:Why are you guys just talking?
Guest:Too much pressure.
Guest:Just ease up.
Guest:Relax.
Guest:I kept trying to fucking do jokes.
Guest:They were just looking at me like- You treating me like morning radio?
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I had the little bells and shit.
Guest:So what happened?
Guest:So then I stopped doing it and then they went on and I think they picked up
Guest:I think Sully McCullough did it a few times.
Guest:Sully McCullough?
Guest:I haven't heard that name in a while.
Guest:Yes, we went to college together.
Marc:You and Sully?
Marc:UCLA.
Marc:Every time I'm hanging out with you, you always bring up dudes where I'm like, what?
Marc:Yeah, that guy.
Marc:That's our generation.
Marc:Well, I mean, he was around.
Marc:It's our generation.
Marc:You're my age.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Basically, I'm a few years older.
Marc:Barely.
Marc:But I'm 58.
Marc:I'm 61.
Marc:No.
Marc:When did that happen?
Guest:I just wanted to win.
Guest:I'm 54.
Guest:But Sully, like, what's that guy doing?
Guest:Sully's writing, producing.
Guest:Doing all right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You remember that big documentary it was a while back?
Guest:I forgot it was about stand-up and Seinfeld was in it and all these people.
Guest:Yeah, he helped produce that.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And he does a lot of writing.
Marc:Like, I used to see him around.
Marc:It's just like, I don't know what happens to people anymore.
Marc:We're fucking old.
Marc:Well, you know what?
Marc:What?
Guest:A lot, I've noticed.
Guest:They quit.
Guest:Do they?
Yeah.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:A lot of them become writers.
Guest:No, I know that one.
Guest:They're the smart ones.
Guest:Here's the other ones that you don't know about.
Guest:They go do cruise ships.
Guest:No, I know that one, too.
Guest:That's a sad one.
Guest:Sad, but they're still doing what... I mean, you know... I guess it's... I wish this was TV so they could saw your face.
Guest:It's the G League, but still, they're playing ball.
Guest:No, I know, I know.
Marc:Here's what's funny.
Marc:I just don't know.
Marc:I could never, like, I'm fortunate.
Marc:No one would ever ask me to do that or think to do it.
Guest:Here's what's so funny.
Guest:I was going through something where I couldn't get a job, but I was like, I'm about to do the cruise.
Marc:When was this?
Guest:Before marriage and kids.
Guest:So that's 16, about 20 years ago.
Guest:I couldn't get in these cruises to hire me.
Guest:No.
Guest:I'm like, damn, I can't get hired on a cruise.
Marc:It's a blessing.
Marc:It's a blessing.
Marc:But some of those dudes, they just live with it.
Marc:That's just their life.
Marc:I guess you adapt to whatever the fuck you're going to adapt to.
Marc:You ready for another name?
Marc:What?
Guest:Steve White.
Guest:Oh, jeez.
Guest:He fucking even moved to Florida so he could be closer to the boats.
Marc:No, I know a guy that did that in Portland.
Marc:He's killing.
Marc:Steve White.
Marc:He was like a hybrid.
Marc:He was like a Warren Thomas spin-off.
Guest:Jesus, great name.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Remember that guy?
Guest:He was a genius.
Guest:Great.
Guest:We worked together.
Guest:You and Warren?
Guest:We did a sketch show for Jamie Foxx we were trying to put together.
Guest:This is when he was sick.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Sick and still doing drugs.
Guest:Still doing drugs.
Guest:And for those of you who don't know, Warren Thomas, was it HIV he died of?
Guest:Yes, he died of HIV.
Guest:He used to come to work and fuck with us.
Guest:He'd have scabs and shit, and he'd be picking his scabs.
Guest:And so I don't know if you know who Marcus King is.
Guest:He's J.B.
Guest:Fox's manager, and another writing friend of mine named Johnny Mack, who was an incredibly funny writer.
Guest:And Marcus King said, listen, Warren is going to be working with us.
Guest:No fucking AIDS and HIV jokes.
Guest:Just come on.
Guest:And we were like, cool.
Guest:But Warren would go after Johnny Mac and my friend Buddy Lewis all the time.
Guest:And they never went back at him because of the mandate.
Guest:And then one day, Johnny Mac said, fuck you, Marcus.
Guest:And he fucking tore Warren a new asshole.
Guest:Oh, they went out.
Guest:He wanted to fight.
Marc:Yeah, he was great, and he was an intense guy, but I remember Steve White was like Warren Thomas Light doing that thing, that sort of pseudo-improv pace thing.
Marc:Right, yes.
Guest:But very fucking funny.
Marc:Steve White used to make me scream.
Marc:Did you ever know Reggie McFadden?
Marc:Come on!
Marc:The gold digger?
Marc:I get like an email from him once every two years that he's got nine wives and he's in Africa.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:He's the Nigerian guy with the email saying he lost his money.
Marc:He had that thing where he's just, when he got angry, it was funny.
Guest:Here's what's funny.
Guest:Reggie wasn't funny right here.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, very serious and weird.
Guest:Some comedians have...
Guest:are able to manufacture the art of stand-up.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But then they're not funny people.
Marc:Tell me about it.
Marc:He's humorous.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But he's not like... It's weird, right?
Marc:But there's a lot of guys.
Marc:I mean, we've been doing it a long time.
Marc:I know guys that got funny.
Marc:Got funny.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And that like offstage is like nothing going on.
Marc:But sometimes with those guys, you just got to get the hang of them.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But let me tell you what you also find out is that when you talk to their family, they go, I can't believe he's a comedian.
Marc:I know.
Guest:He was never funny.
Marc:But they know they are.
Marc:Like I watched...
Marc:I watched Jeff Ross get funny.
Marc:I couldn't watch Jeff Ross when we started out together.
Marc:Really?
Marc:It was just so boring.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And he had a mullet and his name was Jeff Lifshultz.
Marc:No, it wasn't.
Marc:Yeah, it was.
Marc:And he's telling long stories.
Marc:I'm like, why is this guy working?
Guest:This is New York?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Lifshultz.
Marc:Lifshultz.
Marc:Shit.
Marc:Jeff Lifshultz.
Guest:He wasn't going to make it.
Marc:No, had to switch it to Ross.
Marc:But that's the thing about, I guess, with you, because I don't know that we knew each other before.
Marc:I remember Al mentioned you.
Marc:I didn't really know you then, but I kind of remember you getting a big break and being on billboards for a thing.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And you had a full, like, goatee thing going on, right, and hair.
Guest:I used to be cute, yeah.
Marc:Right, right.
Marc:And it was for, was that the vibe thing?
Guest:Yeah, I had a late night talk show in 1997 for like an hour.
Guest:As I started to Google you, I saw a picture of you clean-faced and short hair, and I was like, oh, I remember him.
Guest:And now we've been hanging at the store for like the last five, six years.
Guest:And it just hit me that you were him.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:That happens.
Guest:That's crazy.
Guest:It is.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But you were always out here.
Guest:Yeah, but I would come out there with Steve, go see Steve and Chappelle and I would see you and Attell and all those guys.
Guest:But it was crazy that I saw the short hair picture and I was like, that's why I knew your voice and your mannerisms.
Guest:Right, right, right, from back in the day.
Guest:From back in the day, yeah.
Guest:But like, so where the hell did you come from?
Guest:I'm born and raised here.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yep.
Guest:Grew up in Englewood and then moved not too far from here in South Pasadena.
Guest:Went to high school there.
Guest:Graduated from UCLA where I met Sully.
Guest:And he and I started doing stand-up.
Marc:Well, it's a family situation.
Marc:Both your parents from here?
Guest:Jamaican.
Guest:They're both Jamaican?
Guest:Both Jamaican.
Guest:They talk like Jamaican?
Guest:Like Jamaican, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, with the accent?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:My dad's accent is stronger than my mom's.
Guest:It's a great accent.
Guest:It's a great accent, yeah.
Guest:Did you have it?
Guest:Never.
Guest:Hmm.
Guest:And even when I try to do it, I sound good to you.
Guest:But if some Jamaican people were here, they'd be like, are you from Ireland?
Guest:Like, why is your accent?
Guest:What's wrong?
Guest:Where are you from?
Guest:Australia?
Guest:Because that shit is not us.
Guest:How many siblings do you have?
Guest:I hate saying it like this, but I have to say it like this.
Guest:I have a sister that we both have, same mom and dad.
Guest:And then I have a brother who my dad remarried.
Guest:And then I have a stepsister.
Marc:Okay, none of them are in show business?
Guest:None of them are in show business.
Marc:So how does this start?
Marc:Inglewood, what was the neighborhood like?
Guest:So Englewood is hood, but not really parts of it.
Guest:There's definitely hood parts.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So it was like hood with both parents.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Like you had Crips of Bloods who had a pool.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Right.
Guest:So it was a great, great living environment.
Guest:My block was like a lot of middle class, working class people.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:There's a lawyer here, and there's a dentist over there, and there's a mailman here, and then there's some drug dealers right here.
Guest:Not far.
Guest:My mom had the greatest intuition on when to move.
Guest:Crack came to Inglewood in February of 83.
Marc:You know, the month.
Marc:March of 83.
Guest:It was like Valentine's Day or something?
Yeah.
Guest:No, it came on Groundhog's Day.
Guest:We moved February of 83 and crack came March of 83.
Guest:Literally, I saw all of my friends starting to make money and then them telling me stories about, you know who's smoking, you know who's doing it.
Guest:How old were you?
Guest:Let's see, 84, 16, 16.
Marc:Yeah, wow.
Marc:15, 16 when we moved.
Marc:So you saw people go down?
Guest:I didn't see it.
Guest:I missed it.
Guest:But you had friends.
Guest:I had friends.
Guest:And here's what's funny.
Guest:So I was selling weed.
Guest:You know, it was, you know.
Marc:You can say that.
Marc:Statute of limitations on that.
Guest:1983, guys.
Guest:82.
Guest:And, you know, everybody did.
Guest:And then the next thing, of course, crack came and my friends were selling crack.
Guest:And so I was recently at a funeral and this guy saw me and he goes, what's your name, man?
Guest:I was like, Chris.
Guest:He's like, Spencer?
Guest:I'm like, yeah.
Guest:He goes,
Guest:Yeah, you and your family moved to this white neighborhood, right?
Guest:I was like, yeah.
Guest:He goes, oh man, thank God you moved.
Guest:I go, why?
Guest:He said, you would have been a kingpin.
Guest:I was like, what kind of compliment diss was that?
Guest:He was like, yeah, you were always smarter than us.
Guest:You would have made some fucking money.
Guest:I was like, kingpin?
Guest:And it's so funny.
Guest:In my head, I'm always wondering, who would I have been?
Guest:I was a little too scared to do too much dangerous shit, but who would I have been?
Guest:Would I have been the connector?
Guest:Like, you know, this person needs that.
Guest:Meet them on Crenshaw on 113th.
Guest:I don't know who I would have been.
Guest:So it's always plagued me.
Guest:Like, damn, I wonder...
Marc:Yeah, I always play that game with like, who would I have been if I had confidence?
Marc:You have confidence.
Marc:I do now.
Marc:But if I was self-assured when I was like 20?
Marc:Right, can you imagine?
Marc:Oh my God.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:If I knew what the fuck, you know, how to organize my life?
Guest:No, I listened to you and Santino and you had said, I just figured out show business three years ago and I fucking screamed.
Guest:Sometimes it happens later.
Marc:Dude, I mean, but you know.
Marc:I mean, like, you can be in it.
Marc:I mean, if anyone knows, you know where you think you got these opportunities.
Marc:You just realize that you're a fucking puppet.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:And the only way to get out of being a puppet is to do your own thing or make a lot of money for somebody.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But if you get run up the flagpole and no one's like, man, salute that flag.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Showcase after showcase, agent after agent, manager after, you know what?
Guest:I need new pictures.
Guest:Remember that?
Marc:Dude.
Guest:That was their excuse.
Marc:That's why you're not getting no work.
Marc:You got to get some new head.
Marc:I was thinking the other day about when my manager, who was Dave Becky, the biggest manager in show business, couldn't get me a fucking break.
Marc:But I remember he's like, you got to do a VH1 once you do these things, these interstitial things.
Marc:But not the funny show thing.
Marc:It was before those things.
Marc:It was just basically a VJ job.
Marc:So he said, just do a couple.
Marc:Maybe you can be yourself.
Marc:And I'm like talking about Toni Braxton.
Marc:I don't know who she is today.
Marc:And he's like, that's great.
Marc:But I like to think he's like, it's a great gig.
Marc:And I'm like, this is the fucking worst.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Because they all think they know what you are.
Marc:Right.
Marc:But you don't know.
Marc:And they certainly don't fucking know.
Marc:And you just sort of do it.
Marc:Because you want to check.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Or you want to break.
Guest:You want to break.
Marc:You know, it's like the money.
Marc:Yeah, sure, I'll take money.
Marc:But it was like, if I was only in it for the money, why would I do this?
Marc:Right.
Marc:You want a break.
Marc:That's a fucking good sentence.
Marc:Right?
Marc:You want a break.
Marc:That's all.
Marc:Like, you know, I want something to stick, man.
Marc:Why can't I be the guy that everybody, you know, was talking about?
Guest:I remember when I got the late night talk show.
Guest:Vibe.
Guest:Vibe, yes.
Marc:And I thought... What year is that?
Marc:1997.
Marc:So what's going on?
Marc:What's the idea?
Marc:We need a black late night show.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:Arsenio had just retired.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it was like, you know what?
Guest:There's a void in an urban late night.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So they hired me to do Vibe.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But at the same fucking time, they hired Kenan Ivory Wayans to do the Kenan Ivory Wayans show.
Guest:I remember that.
Guest:And we launched...
Guest:At the same time on the same day.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Different networks.
Guest:This small, underserved black audience now had to choose between me and Kenan.
Guest:And so I did 11 weeks.
Guest:Kenan went on.
Guest:And then, remember, I got replaced by Sinbad.
Guest:And then Sinbad and Kenan battle.
Guest:And then Sinbad was gone.
Guest:What networks were these?
Guest:Kenan was gone.
Guest:I was syndicated.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Kenan was on Fox.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And then... So that was after In Living Color.
Guest:Oh, yeah, after In Living Color.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Then we all went away, and then Magic was there.
Marc:Oof.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So it's just kind of... What happened?
Guest:Magic.
Guest:Yeah, he didn't... I mean, he was just... They were like, who can we get more popular in black?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But Kenan...
Marc:I remember when I was a doorman at the comedy store, I'd see him do stand-up sometimes.
Marc:He's like the mystery man in a way.
Guest:Right, right.
Marc:Do you know what I mean?
Marc:But I remember he was hosting that show for a minute.
Marc:Right.
Guest:McKinnon was the guy that discovered writing was his ticket early.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:He was writing with Eddie, writing with Townsend.
Marc:Yeah, right, right.
Marc:The Hollywood shuffle.
Guest:And then his brother Damon, of course, was the better comedian.
Marc:I used to watch Damon all the time.
Marc:I used to watch him when I was a doorman.
Marc:I used to watch him all the time.
Guest:You were Doorman at the Comedy Store?
Marc:I was, 86, 87.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:Yeah, that's where I, yeah, right after college, I went and just got all fucked up on Blow with Canison and all that.
Marc:But I was door guy, right?
Marc:So I was there, and I was watching everybody.
Marc:Where's that script?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:Does anyone give a shit?
Guest:Yes, look at my face.
Guest:You're fucking doing cocaine with Kinison?
Guest:It's like almost famous, but with comedians.
Marc:I learned a couple of lessons.
Marc:Like, you know, never be part of an entourage.
Marc:Sorry, man.
Guest:Is that going to... No, no, no, no.
Guest:I purposely make sure I'm not in an entourage.
Guest:I'm friends with... I go have Christmas with Jamie Foxx, and then I'll go have Thanksgiving with Kevin, and I go play golf with Cedric, but I'm not... Nobody can say, this is my clique.
Guest:Well, you don't want to be the guy that's like, Chris, you want to go get the... No.
Guest:You heard in the podcast with Kevin, it was like, I'm never gonna be the guy when you go, Chris, hold my phone.
Guest:Fuck that.
Marc:No, I'd rather be broke.
Marc:So, okay, so you get out of Englewood, and then where do you move?
Marc:I moved to South Pasadena.
Marc:That's where you grew up then, a little bit.
Marc:Englewood.
Guest:16.
Guest:Yeah, two years.
Guest:Graduated, went to PCC, Pasadena City College.
Guest:What'd your dad do?
Guest:My father was a, I wanna say entrepreneur, but you have to be successful, right?
Marc:Right, sure.
Guest:Yeah, he had businesses.
Marc:An idea man?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Furniture store, restaurant.
Guest:I love that.
Guest:You're creating a board game.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:The board game?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:He has a new recipe for fried chicken.
Marc:The one that's going to take over the world?
Marc:Yes.
Guest:He's like, can you get this to somebody?
Guest:I'm like, I can't.
Marc:That's recent.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:He still, he just mentioned, he didn't mention the chicken.
Guest:He mentioned the board game the other day.
Guest:No.
Guest:Have you tried the fried chicken?
Guest:It's fucking credible.
Guest:It is.
Guest:It's fucking credible.
Guest:What makes it good?
Guest:I think he puts sugar in it.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:He did something.
Guest:He's cheating because of shit.
Guest:I got diabetes immediately.
Guest:I don't know what it is.
Guest:The board game.
Guest:Have you played the board game?
Guest:Yeah, the board game is great.
Marc:It is?
Guest:I haven't played it in 30 years.
Guest:He goes, I dusted it off.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was like, what?
Guest:What's it called?
Guest:You count.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's all right.
Guest:I mean, literally, he paid a lot of money to get this board.
Guest:It looks professionally done.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it's like, I think it's time.
Guest:And it'd be fucking, what if it is time?
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:I should probably go take a look at it.
Guest:So that's going to happen?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:I should call him right now.
Guest:If I called him right now, you'd laugh at hearing me.
Marc:But when he was trying to put it together, did he sit you guys down?
Marc:We were kids.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:We're talking like 40 years ago.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Yes.
Guest:We're soon rich.
Guest:You count is going to take us out today.
Guest:We didn't live in a hood, but.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But the restaurant, it must be kind of fun to have a dad.
Marc:Furniture stores.
Marc:Just fucking does everything.
Guest:Furniture.
Marc:This is what we're doing now.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:But his biggest job, which he wasn't good at, was gambling.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:He had that thing?
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:He was a horse guy.
Marc:Oh.
Marc:I'm so glad I never got that one.
Marc:Me either.
Marc:I mean, like some guys got it so bad.
Marc:A lot of our friends.
Marc:I know.
Marc:Like when poker came, oh my God.
Marc:I'm just too volatile.
Marc:I can't pretend.
Marc:I don't like losing money.
Marc:I don't either.
Guest:And my ADD can't let me sit at this table that goddamn long.
Marc:No, I can't do that.
Marc:Even if I go to Vegas and I lose like $500, I'm like, that's the worst.
Marc:It's the worst.
Marc:I guess I've never won enough money to justify the excitement of doing it.
Guest:And then you have friends like your aunt.
Guest:I want 16,000 on the slots.
Guest:And then here's what's funny.
Guest:People go, which machine?
Guest:Like that machine's about to pay out again.
Marc:Well, that's good.
Marc:What'd your mom do?
Guest:My mom worked for Delta Airlines for 35.
Guest:Well, no.
Guest:Remember Western Airlines?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:The only way to fly.
Guest:She worked for Western and then she got bought by Delta.
Guest:She worked there for 36, 37 years.
Marc:They took care of her?
Marc:Took care of her.
Guest:That's great.
Guest:I can still get passes if I want to.
Guest:You can?
Guest:But I will not.
Guest:Why?
Guest:Because I'm tortured as a kid.
Guest:When what way?
Guest:When people used to tap us on the shoulder and go some full paying passes, just want your seat.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's one.
Guest:Second, about 25 years ago, I said, you know what?
Guest:I'm going to take a pass.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And one of the people from Delta called my cousin and said, it was right after Vibe.
Guest:And I was like, Chris, is your cousin okay?
Guest:And they're like, what?
Guest:Yeah, he's flying non-rev.
Yeah.
Guest:He's like, what?
Guest:Yeah, he had to get a buddy pass to come to Atlanta.
Guest:Does he need anything?
Guest:I'm like, tell him my fucking mom works for the airlines.
Guest:He goes, I couldn't tell him anything.
Guest:So I'm like, I'm never taking a pass again.
Marc:Pride is gonna stop you from taking a pass.
Guest:I can afford first class now.
Marc:I'm taking first class every time.
Marc:That's the best, every time.
Guest:Every time.
Marc:Every time.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, I don't have a wife or family or dad.
Marc:There's only a few things where I'm like, I'm going to do that.
Marc:Right.
Guest:But here's what's messed up now.
Guest:First class ain't that special.
Guest:I mean, they're starting to give us food again.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But for a while it was like coach with bigger seats.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:Well, it depends where you're going because some of those first class where you get your own apartment.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Those are nice.
Marc:So I've been studying.
Guest:I have a friend who told me about is a seat guru or one of them.
Guest:She goes on there and sees the plane and then she figures out the trip.
Guest:Right.
Guest:She's like, oh, 777 at 1215.
Guest:That's the plane I'm taking.
Marc:Because she knows the real perks.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:But I don't like, then there's a concierge.
Marc:And now, well, these are, we're about to sort of explore the area of hack bits.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Like the concierge, like who gets seated?
Marc:Who does that bit?
Marc:I don't know, but I'm sure 25 people do.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Like you just don't, you're not important.
Guest:I remember the first time I saw somebody, it was Queen Latifah.
Yeah.
Guest:I'm sitting in whatever, and all of a sudden, I saw her early, and all of a sudden, I didn't see her, and then I saw her in the seats.
Guest:I was like, how'd you get here?
Guest:And she just kind of smiled.
Guest:I was like, they fucking drove her around, and she went up into the plane.
Guest:And then that happened to me once, and I was like, ugh.
Guest:You did that once?
Guest:One time I was late for a plane, and they were like, a Porsche Cayenne pulled up.
Guest:Said, Mr. Spencer?
Guest:I go, yeah, this way.
Guest:And they took me outside, I went around, I got in a car, and they drove me across the airport into another plane.
Guest:Really?
Guest:I was like, how do I get this all the time?
Guest:They go, you can't.
Guest:And then they took off.
Marc:Who set that up for you?
Marc:I have no clue.
Marc:Because that happens.
Marc:Now there's that place where you can go at the airport and you just sit there and you can shower or whatever the fuck that is.
Marc:Like Gavin DeBecker, his company started that thing where it's like some sort of concierge service that you pay thousands of dollars a year.
Guest:I'm going to shower before I leave.
Guest:How about that?
Guest:I don't know what the perks are.
Marc:I'm just excited I have the global entry card and the TSA makes me very excited.
Guest:So I have a wife and she doesn't have global entry.
Guest:I've been telling her for six years.
Guest:And the other day there was a long ass line and I almost was like, bye.
Marc:Oh, no, I'll see you later.
Guest:Like, we had clear, but now I had to do it because she didn't have a TSA.
Guest:Yeah, that's where you just got to go.
Guest:See, on the other side, you'll be all right.
Guest:I wanted to leave her.
Marc:You couldn't do it?
Guest:She told me to go.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:When she said it like that, I was like, I'll be right here.
Guest:Just go.
Guest:And I was like, motherfucker, I've been telling your ass.
Guest:Why, were you pouting?
Guest:I was just looking at her like, you know.
Guest:And she's got the little booties that she made.
Guest:I'm like, I don't normally take off my shoes, honey.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:I don't like to take mine off.
Marc:They always got metal in them.
Marc:Anyway, so.
Marc:And a knife?
Marc:No?
Marc:No, it's just like I wear boots.
Marc:Oh, right, right, right.
Marc:I wear sneakers.
Marc:And I don't like to pack shoes, so I'm going to wear the shoes that I wear.
Marc:I don't wear sneakers.
Guest:I love your gear.
Guest:Oh, thanks, buddy.
Guest:It's like Dean Del Rey gear.
Marc:Yeah, well, that's who got me these.
Marc:That's who he set me up with the guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:These shoes.
Marc:These shoes.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But I get mine dirty.
Marc:He doesn't get anything dirty.
Marc:Oh, no.
Guest:He's clean.
Guest:Totally.
Guest:Him and his little friendship.
Marc:He had no scuff Dean, man.
Marc:No.
Marc:No scuff Dean.
Marc:It's all about resale with Dean.
Marc:Right.
Marc:As long as he doesn't fuck things up, he can sell it.
Guest:He's one of those guys.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:My daughter's like that.
Marc:Really?
Guest:She buys and trades sneakers all the time.
Guest:Sometimes she walks so she won't wrinkle them.
Guest:I'm like, just fucking wear the shoes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, my kids have a better sneaker collection than me.
Marc:I don't know about sneakers.
Marc:No?
Marc:No, I stopped a long time ago.
Marc:I wear them when I exercise, and that's it.
Marc:But I have no fashion sense of sneakers.
Marc:I saw you in, who were you talking to that night?
Marc:Oh, Jeremiah.
Marc:Jeremiah.
Marc:Jeremiah.
Guest:Yeah, you had some sweet-ass sneakers.
Guest:I was like, I didn't expect him to have those.
Guest:I was like, where'd you win these?
Yeah.
Marc:What were they?
Marc:He had on some kind of Nikes that I had never seen.
Marc:See, what do Nikes make 10, 20 things a month, or what?
Marc:Is there a new Nike?
Guest:Oh, more than that.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:See, this is the downside of not having kids, is I don't know what the fuck has happened.
Marc:Trust me.
Marc:Because they drive the whole world.
Marc:They do.
Marc:So I'm completely out of the loop.
Guest:Zero.
Guest:I never thought I'd be this guy, but I'll be dancing, and my daughter would be like, don't do that.
Guest:I'm like, I'm a good dancer.
Guest:And she goes, yeah, maybe an 87.
Guest:I'm like, fuck.
Guest:Literally, when I get dressed, I go knock on her door and ask her, how does this look?
Guest:Yeah, how does that go?
Guest:She's like, take those off.
Guest:You can't wear that.
Guest:And I listen to her.
Guest:Is she right?
Guest:Every time.
Guest:So when do you start doing comedy?
Guest:When the hell does that happen?
Guest:That happened in college at UCLA.
Guest:Sully and I would go around.
Guest:Fraternity houses would have Rush Week.
Guest:What year is that, dude?
Guest:This is 1988.
Guest:1988.
Guest:so that's you've really been doing as long as i have yeah rush and then they would have you know all the guys come to see uh if they want to join this fraternity yeah they'd have shows but you guys weren't doing open mics you're jumping right and then we did the natural fudge and uh open mic at the comedy store and laugh factory and all the signups we did all that 89 8089 yep shit that's right when i left that's right when i fucking freaked out on cocaine and left really
Marc:Maybe 86, 87.
Marc:LA just became too much for you?
Marc:I didn't know what the fuck I was doing, man.
Marc:I graduated college in 86.
Marc:Where'd you go?
Marc:BU.
Marc:I'm a little drunky already.
Marc:I go home for the summer, and then I come out here, audition for Mitzi, and by a freaky way, circuitous, whatever the word is, way, I end up getting a job as a doorman because she remembers me.
Marc:I auditioned for her right when I got out here and I didn't even know what I was doing.
Marc:And then I got a job as a PA on something she was producing just by coincidence.
Marc:So I went and said, do you remember me?
Marc:She's like, oh yeah, why don't you be a doorman?
Marc:So there I was.
Marc:I was a doorman, 87.
Marc:Peak Kennison, peak dice, peak drugs, peak crazy, peak porn.
Marc:It was fucking crazy.
Guest:And then you said, I got to get the fuck out of LA so I can get my mind.
Marc:I lost my mind.
Guest:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Now was it just party and party and party?
Marc:I was living in Cresthill, dude.
Marc:I was living in the house behind the comedy store.
Marc:You were there?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So that was like the party central.
Marc:I'd be the guy that Sam would have go buy all the booze and get the house set up.
Marc:So it was just like I was not getting any sleep.
Marc:And I started to hear voices in my head.
Marc:And then I had a falling out with all those weirdos.
Marc:And the story is sort of like I was in the parking lot of a store losing my mind, breaking glasses and shit, like losing it.
Marc:And the drug dealer came, pulled up, and I'm like, dude, man, fuck them.
Marc:They fucked up.
Marc:And they fucking fucked me up.
Marc:And the drug dealer said, yeah, you got to go do your own thing.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:When the drug dealer tells you to go, it's time to go.
Marc:So I literally packed up my car and gave away a bunch of shit and just like left out of my mind.
Marc:Took me years to get my mind back.
Marc:And you were doing stand-up in Boston?
Marc:I went home to Albuquerque.
Marc:Oh, Albuquerque.
Marc:Yeah, and then I cleaned up that first time.
Marc:Then I went to Boston and just started up again.
Marc:Yeah, in 88, I came in second in a big competition.
Marc:I started working 88.
Marc:Who beat you?
Marc:Sue McGinnis.
Marc:You wouldn't know.
Guest:You know what's funny?
Guest:Second place guys are usually the ones that blow up.
Guest:I did that in the San Francisco, too, competition.
Guest:Chris Tucker, second place.
Guest:Soul Train competition.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Martin Lawrence.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:What's it called?
Guest:I'll give you three stars.
Guest:Star Search.
Guest:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Second place is the guy.
Marc:Did you ever do a contest?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:What?
What?
Guest:Just a little local.
Marc:Oh, not televised?
Marc:No.
Guest:Oh, I couldn't do that.
Guest:I couldn't do it.
Guest:It's so sad.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:All right, so you're doing open mics.
Guest:Doing open mics, doing stand-up.
Guest:Then I get discovered.
Guest:Have you ever had a special?
Guest:I shot one.
Guest:I showed a half hour about... How old are my daughter?
Guest:14, 15.
Marc:Feels like you need a special.
Guest:I do need a special.
Guest:I'm shooting one in June.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:I'm going to shoot one in June.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So you're doing the open mics, and what happens?
Guest:And then I get seen by a manager named J.P.
Guest:Williams, who was Jeff Foxworthy's manager, and he's like, I got an idea.
Guest:Oh, I think I know this guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He had me open up for Jeff Foxworthy.
Guest:So I was the opening act on the- Before he was redneck?
Guest:Before he was- On the redneck tour, not the blue collar tour.
Guest:It was a redneck tour, and I was the opening act.
Guest:So he already had the hook.
Marc:He had the hook.
Marc:He had the books and everything.
Marc:Oh, shit.
Marc:I did one of my first middle spots when I was back in Albuquerque after I left L.A.
Marc:when I started doing comedy for him before he had the hook.
Marc:He's a nice guy then.
Guest:Such a nice guy.
Marc:Was he then too?
Marc:Always.
Marc:Oh, all right.
Marc:So you're the guy?
Marc:I'm the guy.
Marc:I'm the opening act on the Redneck Tour.
Marc:How'd that go?
Guest:It was weird.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:After the show, people are like, you were funny, black comedian.
Guest:They'd be like, thanks, white cowboy.
Guest:Black comedian.
Guest:That's how they would say, black comedian, you were funny.
Guest:I didn't think you'd be funny.
Marc:How did they not think you'd be funny?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:So how long did you do that for?
Marc:Probably a year, two years.
Marc:And that guy managed you?
Marc:Yep.
Marc:So you were making money opening for Jeff Foxworthy.
Guest:Yeah, making money.
Guest:And then I started opening for Damon.
Marc:That's something, huh, to watch that guy?
Marc:He did some wrong-minded shit, but it was so great.
Guest:Way early, right?
Guest:And I used to want to be him.
Marc:He was so great to fucking watch.
Guest:Yeah, physical.
Guest:Oh, yeah, totally.
Guest:Correct.
Marc:Totally.
Guest:He used to say, if I don't sweat tonight, I don't have a good set.
Guest:He would like to sweat.
Guest:He loves stand-up.
Guest:Loves stand-up.
Marc:So you're opening for him on the road?
Guest:Was he big?
Guest:Yeah, this was like Live in Color, Money.
Guest:You and Sean?
Guest:Sean Wayne's his brother, yep.
Guest:Before Marlon was doing stand-up?
Guest:Before Marlon wasn't even thinking about stand-up.
Marc:Shawn was okay, I guess, right?
Guest:Shawn was an incredible writer.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And Shawn sometimes would just fucking, he would blow all of us away.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So that was after Living Color?
Guest:Living Color was still on.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But not with Damon.
Guest:Damon had gotten to a point where he was coming back and they were giving him $75,000 a sketch.
Wow.
Guest:I thought that was a million dollars a sketch.
Marc:It is a million dollars a sketch.
Marc:Isn't it?
It felt like it.
I was like $75,000.
Marc:So you're just the opening guy?
Marc:I'm the opening guy.
Marc:Are you starting to get bitter?
Guest:Not at all.
Marc:I'm fucking excited.
Marc:Are you having a good time?
Guest:I'm learning how to dress.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Fly like him.
Guest:Like he would shop.
Guest:I had never seen anybody shop without trying shit on.
Guest:He'd be like, give me this, give me this, give me this, give me this, give me this, give me this, give me this.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And we'd be out of town.
Guest:I'm like, what if it doesn't fit?
Guest:He goes, I'll give it to Marlon.
Yeah.
Guest:I'm like, fuck, you got money.
Marc:I'll give it tomorrow.
Guest:And then he would do these theater dates and sometimes you get paid in cash.
Guest:I'm like, oh, this is where I'm supposed to be.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So what were your, how much time did you have?
Guest:I did 15.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:15, 20 minutes.
Marc:And that's how you started?
Marc:Like you didn't have to do, like you didn't work out that much before that?
Guest:I'm still doing local spots here.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And I was a regular at the Laugh Factory and Amprof.
Guest:I wasn't a comedy store guy.
Guest:Yeah, I never went to those other places.
Guest:I thought the comedy store was dirty.
Marc:It is.
Guest:Ugh.
Guest:I was like, these aren't my kind of comedians.
Guest:They weren't?
Guest:I was trying to be Seinfeld.
Guest:I had the little jacket on and everything.
Marc:I could never deal with the Laugh Factory.
Marc:The improv was always too much pressure and you're gonna get bumped by fuckers.
Marc:And it was never a good room.
Guest:Especially the one in Santa Monica.
Marc:Oh, that's different.
Marc:That was a big place.
Guest:Yeah, that was fun.
Marc:That's where they shot the show.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I did the Evening at the Improv down there.
Marc:It's a little better down there.
Guest:Listen, you can go online right now and see your old Evening at the Improv.
Marc:I know, I can see.
Marc:I put them on my website.
Guest:Oh, really?
Marc:Yeah, they're there.
Guest:I saw mine.
Guest:I'm not ashamed of them.
Guest:Oh, shit, yes.
Guest:It's so funny how all of us died.
Guest:The clothes are awful.
Marc:Oh, terrible.
Marc:I remember I bought a Stussy shirt down the street.
Marc:I took the bus back to a hotel with the woman who became my first wife after my evening at the improv.
Marc:I took a bus to a shitty... I didn't know how anything worked.
Guest:Isn't that funny?
Guest:You just fucking were on TV.
Guest:Get on the bus.
Guest:High fives.
Marc:Kinda.
Marc:And then...
Marc:Yeah, just take the bus like an idiot.
Marc:I mean, it's not like I was broke.
Marc:You could have took a cab.
Marc:Yeah, I just needed to humble myself somehow.
Marc:I don't want to get too big-headed.
Marc:And you did it.
Marc:I did it.
Guest:You did a good job helping yourself.
Marc:Yeah, still doing it.
Guest:Fucking bus.
Marc:Yeah, I watch those things, and I always think like...
Marc:I didn't know who I was or whatever, but I watch and I'm like, that's me.
Marc:It's really weird to watch them.
Marc:I'm just not confident and I've got jokes.
Marc:I watch me when I'm younger and I'm like, I was doing this thing.
Marc:It was my life because I'm doing that repeating thing that you do when you do too much road.
Marc:You know what I'm talking about, like milkshakes, right?
Marc:Milkshakes.
Marc:Everybody likes milkshakes or whatever the fuck it is.
Marc:But I'm doing all those tricks and I'm like, wow.
Guest:Right, because you want to fucking... Because on the road, you're really trying to... You just want to get that time done.
Marc:Yeah, you want to figure it out.
Marc:Were you a big road comic?
Marc:No, because I never understood that you had to do well to be asked back.
Marc:I just had this idea, Mike.
Guest:That's hilarious.
Guest:That's fucking hilarious.
Guest:Right?
Guest:I was just sort of like, I'm going to be me, man.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And it was not great.
Guest:That's funny.
Guest:You had to do well to be asked back.
Guest:He called you once, he just called me again.
Guest:That's right, I'm me, man.
Guest:And now it's all about the fucking numbers.
Guest:They could care less if you're funny.
Marc:Zero.
Marc:They care less if you're a comedian.
Marc:Right.
Marc:What'd you do?
Marc:You do dog tricks?
Marc:Perfect.
Marc:Can you sell tickets?
Guest:Can you sell tickets?
Marc:I remember when the first soap opera people started coming around.
Marc:Or in Boston.
Marc:And then there was also, remember the trend where the Starrs brothers, like Tom Hanks brothers.
Guest:I used to hoop with him.
Marc:What?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:At Damon Wayans' house, actually.
Marc:With the Hanks brother?
Marc:Jim Hanks.
Marc:Jim Hanks.
Marc:There was other guys.
Marc:There was a guy named Mark Godier, who was a comedy store guy, long-haired guy, kind of looked like Jackson Perdue.
Marc:Last I heard, he was like a fisherman.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:And I'm like, that lucky fuck.
Marc:You know, to just turn your back on this shit when you know it's over and be like, I'm going to be a fisherman.
Marc:I bet he's happy as fuck, too.
Marc:Well, he's a fisherman.
Marc:It's got nothing to do with this shit.
Marc:You're not sitting around going like, fuck.
Marc:But okay, so you're coming up and you're opening for Damon.
Marc:So when do you start getting some juice?
Guest:I start booking some little sitcoms and some commercials and... 97, I guess, would be the big break, if you want to call it.
Marc:That's the vibe break?
Marc:That's the vibe break.
Marc:But you're doing like walk-on bits?
Guest:Walk-on bits.
Guest:I did... Oh, remember Claudio Lano?
Marc:Yeah, of course.
Guest:Yeah, Claudio Lano had a show called... I can't remember.
Marc:She had a show on Showtime.
Marc:I can't imagine it.
Guest:And I was on there.
Guest:I think I did an episode or two.
Guest:But every now and then, I'd pop up.
Guest:I was in the movie The Sixth Man, and I did a lot of stuff with the Wayans family.
Guest:Don't Be a Menace to South Central.
Guest:I did Low Down, Dirty Shame.
Guest:I did Blank Man.
Guest:I did Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood.
Guest:So you're in with those guys.
Guest:I was an honorary.
Guest:I would walk around with my eyes kind of slanted so people could think I was a Wayans.
Marc:So that's Damon, Kenan, Marlon, the other one, Sean.
Marc:And Kim.
Marc:Those are all the ones that perform.
Marc:Right.
Marc:But now the cousin, I interviewed the cousin.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:The gay cousin.
Marc:Shante.
Marc:Yeah, Shante.
Marc:She's great.
Marc:And then Damon Jr.
Marc:'s funniest shit.
Marc:I don't know if I've seen Damon Jr.
Guest:Oh, my God, he's brilliant.
Marc:Yeah?
Guest:He reminds you of Damon.
Guest:It's spooky.
Marc:Oh, really?
Guest:Oh, my God.
Marc:Damon, there's no one really that funnier than Damon, really, on A Good Night, right?
Marc:No.
Marc:It's so great to watch those fuckers.
Marc:That was what was great about the comedy story.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Watching people.
Guest:Watching people.
Marc:Well, even like guys like that, like when I was there, like Candison broke.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Like, you know, he was on the road when I got there and I didn't really even like him.
Marc:I'd seen him on TV on the Rodney thing or whatever.
Marc:Right.
Marc:But I remember going to Carl LeBeau's apartment.
Marc:Carl LeBeau.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:He just died.
Marc:And to watch the premiere of the HBO special.
Marc:that Sam had shot at the Roxy.
Marc:And I just remember that there was like, there seemed to be like a thousand pieces of sushi.
Marc:It took up most of the apartment, but everyone was so jacked on blow.
Marc:No one could eat any of it.
Guest:It's so funny how there's like, like that part of comedy I've never even seen.
Guest:What?
Guest:The drugs and the alcohol and the partying and the girls.
Guest:But the girls wasn't really... I don't know.
Marc:It was never that glamorous when we were doing... No, it was just a bunch of dudes sitting around for three days doing blow.
Marc:Talking, listening to Sam talk.
Guest:With no blowjobs?
Guest:There's no girls anywhere?
Marc:You've never done coke?
Marc:It takes a lot of work.
Marc:Well, I mean, Sam would have a girl or two around, but no, there was no glamour to it.
Marc:We were up in Cresthill.
Marc:One night we decided to burn the furniture in the fireplace.
Marc:So, you know, that's a kind of... Mitzi fucking... She just got so mad.
Marc:I'm like, I don't know what happened.
Guest:Who else was living there?
Guest:Where's Polly?
Marc:Who the fuck knows?
Marc:Paulie was 12.
Marc:He had just started doing the bit, right?
Marc:With the hat and it was not even- Anybody, weasel.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:It'd be like a little before the weasel.
Marc:He had a composite headshot with the different- Yes.
Marc:Five pictures.
Marc:Filling up a gas tank and then holding a cheeseburger.
Guest:Exactly.
Marc:That's funny.
Marc:No, who was living up there?
Marc:Todd.
Marc:Remember the Todd?
Marc:Fat Todd?
Marc:The Todd, yes.
Marc:The Todd, yes.
Marc:He was who I lived with.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:And Schubert lived there for a minute.
Marc:Nancy Redman.
Marc:Tamayo Atsuki.
Marc:Tamayo.
Marc:Yeah, who Sam used to fuck, right?
Marc:So that's why he would always party up there.
Marc:Like, we'd do blow for a day, and then he'd end up pounding on our door.
Guest:It's a fucking nightmare.
Guest:Was the house big?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I lived in Dice's old room.
Marc:I remember one time he came up there and he's like, you ever get a blow job in the tub?
Marc:I'm like, I haven't done that yet.
Guest:Wait, Dice lived there too?
Marc:Briefly, yeah.
Marc:Back in the day.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I had a good room.
Marc:Remember Angel Salazar?
Guest:Angel.
Guest:Check it out.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Did you ever see any good comedy fights?
Guest:Any comedians box fights?
Marc:Yeah, there was a big night that I've talked about many times where it was like just Sam beating up a Satanist.
Marc:Do you remember Larry Scarano?
Marc:He was this little guy from Philly.
Marc:I think he used to work at the store.
Marc:He's so funny because I ran into him years later.
Marc:He's a guy that thinks everybody stole everything from him.
Marc:I know a couple people like that.
Marc:Dude, this guy literally said, yeah, you know when a cop drives by and you hear the sirens and say, that's my ride?
Marc:It's mine.
Guest:So he thinks the grocery cart hitting the back of your ankle is his, too?
Marc:He was funny.
Marc:Really?
Marc:I think I ran into him.
Marc:I think he was driving a cab or something.
Marc:You know what's going to happen with this episode is I'm going to get emails.
Marc:Oh, yes.
Marc:And people are going to tell me what they're doing.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Or people are going to say, like, I know that guy.
Marc:That's good.
Marc:Sure, man.
Marc:It's nice to know people are still alive.
Marc:Dude, I once middled in Albuquerque for Vince Champ.
Marc:Vince Champ!
Guest:What a fucking story.
Guest:It's crazy.
Guest:That's the craziest story ever because he was a square.
Guest:Totally.
Guest:By day.
Guest:By night.
Guest:A rapist.
Marc:A rapist.
Marc:Like in the worst fucking horrendous college music departments.
Marc:Jesus.
Marc:That guy was like a bad impressionist.
Marc:He did dumb characters, was clean, talked like a white guy.
Marc:Corny as fuck.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:They did an expose.
Guest:They did something on him.
Guest:He looks so fucking crazy now.
Guest:He's been in prison for, what, 20-some odd years?
Guest:At least.
Guest:Is he never getting out?
Marc:I don't think so.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:So, all right.
Marc:So, 97, you get the vibe break after doing this and that.
Guest:I do that for 11 weeks and then I'm back hitting the pavement.
Guest:Oh, but dude, how fucking horrible was that?
Guest:Poor me.
Guest:Oh, there's my son calling saying, who's picking me up?
Marc:Are you supposed to be good in picking him up?
Marc:Yep.
Marc:What time is it?
Guest:4.45.
Guest:What time are you supposed to pick him up?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:He's probably saying I'm ready now.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:We were supposed to do this at six.
Guest:Did you think he'd be done?
Guest:No.
Guest:Well, I had pushed everything, and then my wife was going to... I would have picked him up and been here at six, but then my wife decides that she's going to a dinner.
Marc:So he's just going to have to wait?
Guest:I guess he'll have to wait a couple nights.
Marc:Where is he?
Guest:In school.
Marc:Now I feel pressured.
Guest:Don't feel pressured.
Marc:He'll be all right?
Guest:Let me text him and tell him the Uber.
Marc:There you go.
Guest:See, we can't do that.
Guest:We'd have to be...
Guest:We'd have to take the bus.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Or get a ride with your friends' parents.
Guest:Here's my son.
Guest:I'm done.
Guest:Hold on.
Guest:How old is he?
Guest:16.
Guest:Greatest kid in the world.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Thank God.
Guest:He's like a young me.
Marc:You know, good for you for having kids and having them turn out okay.
Guest:They're great.
Guest:Great kids.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So fortunate.
Guest:Yeah, man.
Guest:I mean, they're not as great as when people tell me about them.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Like they have a different, let me take that back.
Guest:No, they're great.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:I know they're great because when they're out and other people say, your kids did X, Y, and Z, they helped me with this.
Guest:And you know, I have a toddler and you know, they just, they're very mannerly.
Marc:Good people.
Guest:They're good people.
Guest:Are both your folks still alive?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So they got grandparents.
Guest:They got grandparents on both sides.
Marc:They got relationships with that.
Guest:And I had two great dads.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The stepfather.
Marc:Oh, he was still a good one?
Marc:Great one.
Marc:That's a 50-50 thing.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:He was great, but we've never had an argument.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But I've always complained.
Guest:I've ever wrote a book.
Guest:I had two dads, but none of them played catch with me.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:My stepfather was kind of hands off.
Guest:Like, you have a dad.
Guest:I'm just here to pay bills, take care of your mom, blah, blah, blah.
Guest:And then my father was like, fuck it.
Guest:You got a stepfather.
Guest:You can pay for that shit.
Guest:I never had no birds and the bees talk from anybody.
Guest:My first sip.
Guest:Cigarette.
Guest:Whatever dads and sons do, there's some shit I missed.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But it seems like you turned out all right.
Guest:I turned out pretty fucking good.
Marc:I had a great mom.
Marc:So the vibe thing just craps out pretty quick.
Marc:Craps out.
Marc:And you were on billboards, dude.
Guest:How old were you?
Guest:No, I was on billboards.
Guest:The word vibe.
Guest:So this is when I knew some shit was fucked up.
Guest:Two things let me know.
Guest:One, they had billboards of Kenan and then they had the word vibe with white people written in the letters.
Guest:No pictures of me.
Guest:I was like, oh, this is a sign.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I was in magazines and stuff, but it's just like advertisements.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then there was a big ass party for vibe for Chris Spencer's coming out party.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's at the Peterson Museum.
Guest:Do you know where I'm going with this?
Guest:Nope.
Guest:Peterson Museum is... I go there.
Marc:Where is it?
Guest:This is where Biggie got shot.
Guest:That's why they had it there?
Guest:It was a Vibe magazine party.
Guest:And so I thought this was my party.
Guest:I go there and there's pictures of everybody but me.
Guest:There's pictures of Puffy.
Guest:There's pictures of Mary J. Blige.
Guest:There's pictures of Tony Braxton.
Guest:So the writing was on the wall already?
Guest:Before it even started?
Guest:I felt shit early.
Guest:Listen to this.
Guest:I remember...
Guest:The first show they didn't even start off with me.
Guest:It was Quincy Jones interviewing Bill Clinton via satellite.
Guest:Yeah We do the show was a credible show Whoopi was on it fucking I don't know it was a big-ass show, but you're hosting it now I come out when she introduces me.
Guest:Yeah, right there like the world knows Quincy best to have Quincy start out so that happens We're at the the first meeting of the morning.
Guest:I get a phone call.
Guest:They're like Chris rocks on the phone.
Guest:Yeah What?
Guest:Chris Rock wants to talk to you.
Guest:I'm like, okay.
Guest:He goes, yo.
Guest:He goes, what the fuck are you doing?
Guest:I go, what are you talking about?
Guest:He said, what the fuck are you doing?
Guest:I said, what?
Guest:He goes, you had the president of the United States on your TV show?
Guest:I go, yeah, that was Quincy's friend.
Guest:He wanted to, he goes, let me ask you something.
Guest:When you see the president on TV, what do you do?
Guest:I go, I turn the channel.
Guest:He goes, and that's what motherfuckers was doing last night.
Guest:I was like, shit.
Guest:How did he get the number?
Guest:Because it wasn't cell phones.
Guest:This motherfucker called the Vibe office.
Guest:Interesting.
Guest:And you'd not met him before?
Guest:Yeah, we were friends.
Marc:Oh, okay, okay.
Guest:But the fact that he called the office to say, bring the phone to Chris.
Marc:Well, do you think it was like, how much of that becomes like a community thing?
Marc:Like, you know, is that just a showbiz thing or is that sort of like, you know, we're trying to do something here.
Marc:Why are you having that boring fucking president on here?
Guest:Absolutely.
Guest:Why would I have the president on a late night talk show?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I'm not even interviewing him.
Guest:This is Quincy Jones talking to Bill Clinton via satellite, a screen.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so I remember the first hiccup, Bill goes, hey, Quincy.
Guest:He goes, what's up, Bill?
Guest:And everybody's like, you're not supposed to call him by his first name.
Guest:But Quincy Jones probably funded the motherfucker.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:Sure.
Marc:Bill don't care.
Marc:So that was it, right?
Guest:Then I started doing sitcoms, commercials, a few movies here and there.
Guest:And then I started writing for a lot of people.
Guest:So like I was saying, what's great about standup is either you blow up or when maybe one of your friends blows up.
Guest:And so when my friends were blowing up, the Jamie's, the- You're tight with Jamie?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So they'll get award shows or they'll get gigs and they need people to write and that's how my writing career kind of started.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Writing for Jamie for the, you know, the ESPYs and Cedric for this award show and Steve Harvey.
Marc:How's Cedric doing?
Marc:He's great.
Marc:Oh, good.
Guest:Great guy.
Marc:He is.
Marc:Great guy.
Guest:You've never heard anybody say fuck Cedric.
Marc:That's good.
Marc:Ever.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I remember the first time I saw Cedric, it was the Aspen Comedy Festival and, uh,
Marc:It was really something, because you can't breathe up there.
Marc:And I think it was the first year they had an urban show.
Marc:And it was like Cedric and Bernie Mac in the snow.
Marc:I'd never seen Bernie.
Marc:I'd never seen anything like that guy.
Marc:Motherfucker was a... Insane.
Marc:Insane.
Marc:So good.
Marc:Incredible.
Marc:From what I could understand.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:There's a lot of topics that were not for... Probably not for the Aspen crowd either.
Guest:I know, man.
Marc:But it was so funny to see them up there.
Marc:I can't remember who else was on that show, but it was kind of amazing.
Guest:I remember I did that fucking Aspen Comedy Festival.
Marc:Really?
Guest:As what?
Guest:I took an L.
Marc:Yeah?
Oh, yeah.
Guest:What happened?
Guest:I bombed.
Guest:I wanted to roll down the fucking mountain.
Guest:I'm not a festival guy.
Marc:What year was that?
Marc:It's hard up there, man.
Marc:You can't breathe up there.
Marc:I tanked so hard up there on a TV show.
Marc:Damn.
Marc:Ate it bad.
Marc:What show?
Marc:It was called Kicking Aspen.
Marc:And I was all immersed in telling stories and alternative kind of shit.
Marc:And a friend of mine saw it.
Marc:He said, I just watched Dragging Aspen.
Guest:Yeah, you can't tell those long stories on those little short form shows.
Guest:You got to go joke, joke, joke, 15 seconds.
Marc:You do, man.
Marc:Oh, God, did I tank bad.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I've eaten some serious shit on television.
Marc:So, okay, so vibe craps out.
Marc:Is this when you thought about doing the boats?
Marc:No, a little bit later.
Marc:But like, were you headlining, dude?
Guest:So I never really did the road like people did the road.
Marc:Because I think that's why I can never place you.
Marc:Yes, I didn't do the road.
Marc:But did you have the time?
Guest:I had specialty gigs.
Guest:I should have done the road.
Marc:You had the time?
Guest:Of course.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You're talking about the time to do it or the 45 minutes?
Guest:45 hour.
Guest:I don't know, because I was a 20-minute champion.
Guest:But you know, I had it, because whenever I had to do some corporate shit for an hour, I did it, but I just never did the road.
Guest:And I think I was spoiled, because the road money, a whole week equaled exactly what Damon or Chris Rock or somebody was paying me to open for them.
Marc:Dude, I never knew how much those fuckers were making on the road until I started making money on the road.
Marc:Like, you know, you'd middle for a guy and they'd give you four.
Marc:Like back when, you know, I was post boom, but you could still make maybe 800 bucks.
Marc:Right.
Marc:For a Wednesday through Sunday middle with a little bit of travel.
Marc:And these fuckers would come in, Jake Johansson, Rich Jenny, these guys.
Marc:Jake Johansson.
Marc:right so you're like you know what are these and then all of a sudden when you start when i start doing door deals now i'm like is this what these motherfuckers were making then and still 80 of the door and they were walking away with a fortune some of those guys in the 80s i never got it i thought it was just sort of like well they must get like 1400 right
Guest:Jake Johansson.
Marc:Because when I started headlining as a non-draw, you know, you'd be like, if you got 1750, you're like, holy shit, man, good week.
Marc:And the fucking, and the condo?
Marc:I never did the condo either.
Marc:You missed out a whole chunk.
Marc:I never was a road dog, but I definitely did it.
Marc:Right.
Marc:You know, mostly, yeah.
Marc:Did you sell merch back then?
Marc:I sold merch up till, like I was selling merch more recently, I think.
Marc:When I was doing the road, right when the podcast started, I had buttons.
Marc:I had fucking shirts.
Marc:Yeah, I'd show up at the hotel.
Marc:I never had a road manager because I just never thought to do that shit because I wasn't making that much money.
Marc:But you'd have the fucking boxes shipped to the hotel.
Marc:You never had all these sizes.
Guest:There's nothing worse when you see people ship the boxes to the hotel and then have to ship them back because they didn't sell much.
Marc:Of course.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Of course, you gotta find somebody to maybe pick it up for you.
Marc:I found the best thing to do is posters.
Marc:Because people want something.
Marc:And you just have someone design like an artist, make a cool poster for the gig, and then it costs like a dollar a piece, you sell them for 20, you sign them at the end, you meet people, fucking make a couple thousand, and then you just- Posters.
Marc:So it's a picture you like- Whatever, I just had different artists.
Marc:I got fans who are artists, and I just say on the podcast, design me some posters, I'm going on tour.
Marc:So I'd have like a dozen different posters.
Marc:Genius.
Marc:And I'd pay the artists.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And then you just like, it's not a big, it's not, there's no sizes.
Marc:Right.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:One size fits all with a poster.
Marc:People want to walk away with something.
Marc:All right, so, so what?
Marc:No road.
Marc:What are you doing then?
Marc:How do you make a living?
Marc:Commercials.
Marc:Oh, you did the commercial?
Marc:Writing.
Marc:Writing started.
Guest:Did you write for shows?
Guest:I wrote a punch-up for like the Wayans Brothers show.
Guest:When did you get married?
Guest:When did you start having kids and shit?
Guest:That was 2000... After Vibe?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Vibe is 97.
Guest:I got married in 06.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Huh.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So you're like kind of old.
Guest:I'm an older fella, yeah.
Marc:To get married.
Guest:37, 38, I think it was.
Marc:Well, you knew.
Marc:I knew.
Marc:Did you always want to?
Guest:No.
Guest:I wanted to be George Clooney.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Guest:And then it got old.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I was like, fuck.
Guest:Maybe I don't have the stamina to be fucking all these girls, or I need to be with one.
Guest:And I always knew eventually, like I saw the picture in my head, Christmas and vacations, and I wanted all that.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Marc:I wanted to be a whore, but I couldn't.
Marc:As you get older, it's hard, and it's certainly hard now.
Guest:I don't think girls liked me like that to be the horror guy.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:I'm the guy at the strip club that the girl decides to take a break and come talk to.
Guest:My friends are like, I'm going to take you back to the house and do all this shit.
Guest:And they come and go, you remind me of my dad.
Guest:Nothing's going to happen with me and you.
Guest:Unless you're fucking your dad.
Guest:Which might, yes.
Guest:That's probably why she's here.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I got married and we had kids quit.
Guest:Matter of fact.
Guest:What did she do?
Guest:She was a casting director.
Marc:Oh, really?
Guest:She did Entourage.
Marc:So she's still in the record?
Marc:And now she's producing now.
Marc:Oh, for you or you got a company?
Marc:Right, right.
Guest:I just directed my first feature.
Guest:Right, that's what we were talking about.
Guest:Yeah, and so she started off as cast.
Guest:I wrote it, yeah, with my partner, Eric Daniel.
Guest:Started off as a, she cast it, and then all of a sudden, she just started fixing all these holes.
Guest:You know, independent movies, shit is going awry all over the place, and she just started fixing shit, and she's like, you know what?
Guest:I need a fucking real title, and they gave it to her.
Marc:Yeah, why not?
Marc:Why not?
Marc:So, how much did you shoot it for?
Marc:How much did you cost?
Guest:Under 10 million.
Marc:That's a pretty expensive indie.
Guest:Pretty good, yeah.
Guest:When I think about my friends who are big time directors now, their first movies, like Antoine Foucault and F. Gary Gray and Malcolm Lee, they had like two, three, four million dollar movies.
Guest:John Singleton.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And for me to come out the gate with a big-ass movie like this, it better be good.
Guest:So you got backers and all that?
Guest:Who starred in it?
Guest:Wesley Snipes, Tiffany Haddish, and then four very funny comedians.
Guest:I don't know if you know Gary Owen, Faison Love, Bill Bellamy, and J.B.
Guest:Smoove.
Marc:Bill Bellamy.
Marc:Yes.
Guest:That's another one.
Guest:New York.
Guest:New York, yes.
Guest:Had that show.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So it's about these four male, five male exotic dancers that get back together after 30 years to help this woman save her hotel and club.
Guest:And it was kind of like Magic Mike meets the full Monty.
Guest:The original name was my Magic Johnson.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then like an idiot, I called him to see if it was okay.
Guest:And he was like, no, motherfucker, it's not okay.
Guest:I was like, shit, I should have just waited to get in trouble.
Yeah.
Marc:Do you have a relationship with Magic Johnson?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:You know all of these people.
Guest:Black Hollywood is small.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So we're going to see a couple things.
Guest:I've never left LA, so I've run into people.
Guest:I went to UCLA, I've run into people.
Guest:Then I've had a little bit of TV fame, and then I write for all the award shows.
Guest:So all the award shows, I'm going to see Oprah, Will, Magic, Will.i.am, Kanye.
Guest:And so I'm writing copy for them, so I'm becoming friendly with them.
Guest:And then there's an after party.
Guest:And then I hosted three of the hottest shows.
Guest:Urban Comedy Nights in LA.
Guest:You did.
Guest:I created Chocolate Sundays with my childhood friend, Poogie Wiginton, which was at the Laugh Factory.
Guest:It's going on 27 years strong.
Guest:That was you?
Guest:That was me.
Guest:And then Fat Tuesdays, after Guy Torrey left, my partner, Drew Tillman, and I started doing Trippin' on Tuesdays.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Then I was like, you know what?
Guest:Where's that, the improv?
Guest:That was at the Comedy Store in the main room.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Right after Guy Torrey finished.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I was like, you know what?
Guest:I'm tired of... I had a lot of friends that were like, I'm not coming all the way to Hollywood.
Guest:So then I started doing a room at the Savoy in Englewood, not too far from the airport.
Guest:And that held like four or five hundred people.
Guest:And it would be packed every Wednesday night.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Because those people were dying for entertainment.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And what was great about them, as opposed to up here, no guest list.
Guest:Right.
Guest:People were like, fuck it, I'll pay $20.
Guest:And what I learned from my partner Poogie...
Guest:He would never advertise who was coming.
Guest:He would advertise who you missed.
Guest:So when Chris Tucker, Kevin Hart, Chappelle, Wanda, whoever came through, you'd be like, you should have been here last week because you missed X, Y, and Z. And then they're like, this week who's here?
Guest:We're not gonna talk about it.
Guest:But you remember two weeks ago, you fucked up and didn't go.
Guest:And so I started bringing a lot of those people to Englewood.
Guest:So you're making a lot of money producing the shows.
Marc:Not a lot of money.
Marc:But enough to get by?
Marc:I mean, private school money is enough, yeah.
Marc:That's good.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Wow, so that's a hustle.
Marc:What was the name of that place down on Pico that was bought?
Guest:The Comedy Union.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Enns Mitchell, a good friend of mine.
Guest:I used to work there all the time.
Marc:What, that dude with the long, with the dreadlocks?
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:I did, we shot an episode of my show down there.
Guest:Oh, really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, and I remember I think I did a set there once, if that's possible.
Guest:Absolutely, it was open every night.
Guest:Chelsea got her fucking start down there.
Marc:Chelsea.
Guest:Handler.
Guest:Matter of fact, there's a story.
Guest:This is a true story, I'm probably gonna tell it.
Guest:She goes to Montreal and bombs.
Guest:And whoever was supposed to see her didn't like it, and then Enz hooked it up for people to see her again and do a showcase at the Common Union, and she killed, and then she became Chelsea Handler and forgot about Enz.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:I think I kind of knew that story, because I remember I did a Comedy Central Presents taping with her.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Right before the E!
Marc:Network and all that stuff, when she maybe had one book out and she was doing stand-up.
Marc:It wasn't great.
Marc:No.
Marc:You saw something.
Marc:No, I mean, I like her.
Marc:She's been a champion of mine, and I like her.
Marc:I've interviewed her, and she's tough, but she's a good person, like a truly good person, I think.
Marc:Don't you think?
Guest:Oh, yeah, I saw her documentary.
Guest:I was like, oh, I'm in love with her.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So this movie, that's a good cast.
Marc:So you're hanging it on Tiffany, huh?
Guest:They're hanging on Tiffany and Wesley.
Guest:And then the other guys are so fucking funny.
Marc:I like this old Wesley face.
Marc:I like what he's doing.
Guest:He's weird.
Guest:You saw True Lies with him and Kevin?
Marc:Oh, it's good.
Marc:I watched him in the Eddie Murphy movie.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Dolomite?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And I was like... Not Dolomite.
Guest:Yeah, Dolomite and Coming to America 2.
Marc:Yes.
Guest:Or 3.
Marc:I'm sort of like, he's really embracing a weird old dude.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Like, he's gonna do some weird shit this day.
Marc:Wait till you see him in this.
Marc:Oh, yeah?
Guest:Yeah, he's a real actor.
Guest:No, I know.
Guest:He's a real actor.
Guest:Like the talks we had before, I was like, you know, I'm used to, motherfucker, just take the script or whatever.
Guest:He's like, do you think he would?
Guest:And I'm thinking, and then he should, and then a mustache or a goatee, a ponytail or a perm.
Guest:I'm like, oh, you're the real deal.
Guest:Yeah, we're hip-hop actors.
Guest:You know, we have personality, we can memorize the lines, and hopefully some magical shit will happen on the day.
Marc:Tiffany's a natural.
Guest:Natural.
Guest:It's wild.
Guest:She kills this movie.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So is it done?
Marc:Done.
Guest:And it can't.
Guest:Not it can't, sorry.
Guest:Editing.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:We're in post right now.
Marc:And you're looking at June?
Guest:June is July, yeah.
Marc:That's good.
Marc:Then I'll plug it for you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Then I'll be known as a director.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So, you know, Kevin Hart and I created a TV show called Real Husbands of Hollywood.
Marc:Yeah, when's that going to be on?
Marc:That starts February 10th.
Marc:That's good.
Marc:You can plug that.
Guest:Plug in February 10th on BET Plus, which nobody has, but you guys should go get.
Guest:Everyone's getting pluses now.
Marc:Yes.
Guest:Maxes and pluses.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:BET Plus.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Get it on your phone?
Guest:That's their streaming service.
Guest:Get it on your phone?
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Then we have a possibility of 13 people seeing it.
Guest:What's it called?
Guest:Real Husbands of Hollywood.
Guest:You and Kevin.
Guest:I created with Kevin, but Kevin, Nick Cannon, Nelly, Robin Thicke, Dwayne Martin, Boris Kojo, JB Smoove, Cynthia McWilliams.
Guest:We have some guest stars that are great this year.
Guest:We have Dr. Phil came on.
Guest:We always have amazing guest stars.
Guest:We had Shaq.
Guest:We've had Chris Brown.
Guest:What's the angle?
Guest:What's the angle?
Guest:It's basically a spoof on all... Let me take it back.
Guest:It started off as a sketch that I wrote for the BET Awards for Kevin, which was a spoof on all these Housewives shows.
Guest:And it was Jermaine Dupri, Bobby Brown, Anthony Anderson, Nick Cannon, and Kevin.
Guest:and it just blew up and went viral.
Guest:And then people were petitioning and creating campaigns and fake Facebook pages.
Guest:This show needs to be on air.
Guest:And then the next year, I wrote for Sam Jackson on the BET Awards.
Guest:We did the sketch again, and then it was just undeniable.
Marc:Oh, yeah?
Guest:Yeah, you gotta check it out.
Marc:How's Sam Jackson?
Guest:Fucking the real deal.
Guest:But he'll tell you some shit.
Guest:He'll be like, can we get one more take?
Guest:Nope.
Guest:Okay, then we're gonna move on.
Guest:I think you got it already.
Guest:You're absolutely right, Sam.
Guest:What was I thinking?
Guest:This motherfucker's cold-blooded.
Guest:Oh.
Guest:Nope.
Guest:And he looks at you like, I'm not doing it again.
Guest:I'm like, why would you do it again?
Guest:Everybody, come on.
Guest:Let's go.
Guest:We're on the wrong set.
Guest:Seriously.
Guest:Intimidating.
Guest:On purpose.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then he'll wink at somebody.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But he's great.
Marc:Yeah, I love him.
Marc:He's got a lot of things going on.
Marc:And then you're on the Cosby doc.
Marc:You're like a Cosby, official Cosby commentator.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Why'd you get that gig?
Guest:So I'm a connector in Hollywood, right?
Guest:Clearly.
Guest:People call me to get other people, right?
Guest:And then I go, hey, motherfucker.
Guest:Is that okay?
Guest:And then I say, me too.
Guest:No.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:No, not at all.
Guest:But I'm fucking making sure I get a check.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I'm the guy that they go...
Guest:You won't believe the calls I get.
Guest:I got a call one time from the White House that said, we heard Will Smith is in town and President Barack would like to play golf with him.
Guest:I'm like, why the fuck are you calling me?
Guest:They go, well, we know you know him.
Guest:You know Will.
Guest:And so I hooked up Will and fucking Barack Obama.
Guest:When he was in office.
Guest:when he was in office.
Guest:So I always get these calls.
Marc:Chris Rock could track you down at the office, but they can't find, the White House can't find Will.
Marc:It's funny you mention that about Chris, because he's called my cell phone before, and I'm like, what?
Marc:I was out to dinner with my dad, and I get a call, and it's not a number I recognize.
Marc:I'm like, hello?
Marc:He goes, it's Chris Rock.
Marc:And I'm like, what's happening?
Marc:What did he want?
Marc:He had listened to an episode.
Marc:I think he had listened to the Fred Stoller episode or something.
Marc:Fred Stoller!
Marc:He just wanted to tell me he liked it.
Guest:I gotta go back and listen to all these fucking episodes if you've had all these people.
Marc:Oh, yeah, dude.
Marc:I've had all of them.
Marc:I had Billy Braver on.
Guest:I don't know Billy Braver.
Marc:Before your time, before my time.
Marc:He was a Comedy Store guy.
Marc:All right, so the Cosby thing.
Guest:How did that happen?
Guest:So a friend of mine was producing, and they said, we need you to help us get some people.
Guest:And you too!
Marc:So it was one of those.
Marc:That's the worst, that add-on.
Guest:Yeah, you too, man.
Guest:I used to get offended, but I was like, fuck it, yes, me too, I'm coming.
Guest:And so I helped them, but a lot of people didn't want to do it.
Guest:Matter of fact, I think Kamau was on CNN or somewhere saying, more people said no than yes.
Guest:Yeah, a lot of people didn't want to touch that topic.
Guest:Because you don't want to seem like you're advocating for him, and then you don't want to shit on him because he was your hero growing up.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Marc:Well, everyone had to be kind of diplomatic, right?
Marc:I mean, that was the whole point of that thing is that we can exist with both sides of this man.
Marc:We can have our good memories and still realize he's a fucking monster.
Marc:Right.
Marc:I mean, that seemed to be the point of it.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And I don't know who it was really directed at.
Marc:I have to assume the black community on some level.
Marc:I think everybody, because remember, he was everybody's- No, I get it.
Guest:I get it.
Guest:No, for us, for sure.
Guest:There's a lot of sort of like, nah.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:No, I was in denial for sure.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:It was like, no, ain't no black woman came forth, and all of a sudden, it's like Beverly Johnson, as you'll see in the documentary.
Marc:That was the one that got you.
Guest:I was like, oh, shit, because she was a friend of mine.
Marc:And you knew her before it, right?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You knew she was a victim, though?
Guest:I know she was a victim.
Guest:No, no, no, no.
Marc:You've known her before she came... I knew her before, yeah.
Guest:I know her daughters, and she was like, you know, I know the family.
Marc:You knew her before she was public with it.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:I see.
Guest:And then when I saw her face, when she said it, I was like, Ruh-Ruh.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:This could be real.
Guest:Really took that because it wasn't like it wasn't like she was trying to get something from him.
Guest:It wasn't like They went all the way through with the deed.
Guest:She said she drank the cappuccino Felt something that said you motherfucker.
Guest:Yeah, cuz she had I guess I don't know if she had done drugs before or she just knew yeah She you know she walked and she got out of there and I was like
Guest:Why would somebody tell a story like that?
Marc:I remember she had to struggle to get out.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Not because he was holding her, but she was fucked up.
Marc:She was fucked up.
Marc:And she just knew she had to get out.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And here's what's funny.
Marc:We had heard stories about him
Marc:I didn't.
Marc:You didn't?
Marc:Well, no, I didn't know anything.
Marc:Oh, I heard stuff before.
Marc:Well, apparently people have been hurting, like, I mean, for Hannibal to do what he did.
Marc:Right.
Marc:It had to be out there.
Marc:I knew nothing.
Marc:Oh, no, I know him since then.
Marc:I haven't heard from that guy in a while.
Guest:Hannibal, I see Hannibal every now and then.
Guest:What's he up to?
Guest:He's doing fucking specials and still doing well.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Movies.
Marc:I see him occasionally in a movie.
Marc:I haven't seen him lately, though.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:All right, so you get the call to find some people for the Cosby thing.
Marc:No one wants to do it, so now you're going to do all of it.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:I'm imitating other comedians.
Guest:You and Godfrey, the other ones.
Guest:Godfrey.
Guest:That shit seemed like it was the Godfrey special.
Guest:Well, I guess he opened for the show.
Marc:Right.
Marc:He was a warm-up guy.
Marc:He was the warm-up, yes.
Marc:So he had somewhat of a relationship with him.
Guest:I wish he would have talked more about that, but he didn't really get into that.
Marc:I just dropped it real quick and did a few impressions.
Marc:But I tell you the thing about that doc, it's the survivors.
Marc:That's where that doc lives.
Marc:You get to hear the full story from these old ladies
Marc:Right.
Marc:Who don't know each other.
Marc:That's what got me.
Marc:Right.
Marc:It's like the ones that kept it to themselves.
Marc:And then they heard the fucking pill thing.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Holy shit.
Marc:I'm not the only one.
Marc:The pill story.
Marc:There's no way.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And I think he gave them a nice amount of time.
Guest:And the thing about us as a culture, we were like, you're not going to take down another one of us.
Guest:And it was like, oh, they're trying to get us.
Marc:The weird thing is you say that, you're not going to take down another one of us.
Marc:But I think he lost half of the culture with that fucking moralizing bullshit anyway.
Marc:Oh, he did.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But no, but a lot of us just thought of, a lot of us was just like, he's just a cranky old man.
Guest:And here's what's fucked up.
Guest:A lot of the shit he was saying was true.
Guest:But the shit that we said, like he said in his apology, I thought it was just us talking about us.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Although he really didn't fuck, he knew it wasn't.
Guest:But it's some shit that you would say to us.
Marc:Right, you knew it.
Guest:But you know the world was hearing it.
Guest:And it just looked bad that you're talking shit about us for everyone to hear.
Marc:Well, it's like that famous, the first big Chris Rock bit.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Black people versus niggas.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I mean, that's that bit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And we've always talked like that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:There's some niggas at that party over there.
Guest:We ain't going.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Like, we know.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I think, I don't know if he regrets saying it, but that shit was big.
Guest:Who?
Guest:That bit.
Guest:That Chris Rock.
Guest:I wonder if he regrets doing that bit.
Guest:It's a great bit.
Guest:Great bit.
Guest:Why would he regret it?
Guest:Because he got a lot of backlash from it.
Guest:Mm.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, I mean, well, that's, but niggas didn't like it.
Sure.
Marc:But there's an honesty to it.
Guest:Actually, black people didn't like it.
Marc:Right, there's honesty to it.
Guest:If there's such a thing.
Marc:But that's one of the issues is the sort of like keep it amongst ourselves thing.
Marc:Right.
Marc:You know, that cuts both ways.
Marc:Yes, exactly.
Marc:And I think that, yeah, I mean, but I thought you did good in the Cosby documentary.
Marc:It's good.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Good talking to you, man.
Marc:Absolutely.
Marc:You feel good?
Marc:Your kid's taking care of?
Marc:Everything's good?
Guest:I can make halftime?
Guest:No, we missed the game.
Marc:All right.
Guest:Thank you, brother.
Marc:I'll see you.
Marc:Are you working tonight?
Marc:I am.
Marc:I'll see you over there.
Marc:All right.
Marc:All right, that was Chris Spencer again on Twitter.
Marc:You can go to his website as well, see where he's on tour.
Marc:He'll be at the Virginia Beach Funny Bone this Friday and Saturday.
Marc:I will be in San Diego this Friday, February 11th at the Observatory North Park.
Marc:Two shows.
Marc:Got next week, Napa, California, Friday, February 18th at the Uptown Theater in San Francisco, Saturday, February 19th.
Marc:Two shows at the Palace of Fine Arts.
Marc:You can go to wtfpod.com slash tour to get links to tickets.
Marc:And no music today.
Marc:No music today because I'm in New York in the nicest hotel room I've ever stayed in.
Marc:All right?
Marc:Enough.
Marc:Boomer lives!
Marc:Monkey.
Marc:La Fonda.
Marc:Cat angels everywhere.
Marc:Of course, shout out to the living cats.
Marc:Buster and Smushy.
Marc:Booster and Sammy.
Marc:Sammy Red.
Marc:Shmooley.
Marc:It was his birthday a few days ago.
Marc:Sammy's a year old.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Goodbye.
you