Episode 1297 - Nicole Byer
Guest:Lock the gates!
Marc:all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck buddies what the fuck tuplets what the fuck nicks how's it going i'm mark maron this is my podcast how are you have you gotten over your omicron yet have you gotten over your covid yet have you got the covid it are how are things out there are you freaking out are we freaking out is anything getting better i don't know i don't know
Marc:My guest today is Nicole Byer.
Marc:People love Nicole Byer.
Marc:Everybody seems to love Nicole Byer.
Marc:She's the host of Nailed It on Netflix, her stand-up special.
Marc:I believe it's on Netflix as well.
Marc:She's got four different podcasts going, or Wipeout, which is a game show she hosts as well.
Marc:Lots of other things, because she's everywhere.
Marc:She's all places, Nicole Byer.
Marc:She's on this new NBC series, Grand Cruh.
Marc:And she'll also be hosting the Critics' Choice Awards with Taye Diggs.
Marc:And I talked to her today.
Marc:I talked to her.
Marc:So when I spoke to you on, what is it, last week, last Thursday, I told you that I was planning on going to Bob Saget's funeral, going to the cemetery.
Marc:I don't do that.
Marc:And I've had a realization as of late,
Marc:It's not policy, but I haven't found myself at funerals and I've lost a lot of people that I know that are close to me.
Marc:And either it would be a travel situation or I'm on the road or whatever.
Marc:I just felt the need, a deep need to go to Bob Saget's funeral because Bob Saget was a great guy.
Marc:We weren't best friends, but the times that we did talk and the times we did hang out, just a loving person.
Marc:And I'm going to miss him.
Marc:And when I think about him, it makes me sad and I miss him.
Marc:i wanted to go for closure i wanted to go to the funeral and i went and it was a lovely service rabbi was funny killed had a great joke right right out of the gate i think the joke was someone somewhere along the lines of uh he said like if i'm sure if bob were here he'd be wondering the same thing we are we're all wondering why why
Marc:Why couldn't it have been Stamos?
Marc:Very funny.
Marc:Opened with it.
Marc:Strong.
Marc:But it wasn't, obviously, it wasn't a comedy show.
Marc:And it was a bit, it was heavy.
Marc:It was sad.
Marc:And the cantor sang the songs that cantor sing in the Hebrew.
Marc:You got to wear the yarmulkes.
Marc:And his daughter spoke.
Marc:And it was just devastating.
Marc:And some of his friends spoke at the funeral.
Marc:And his wife spoke.
Marc:And just they feel all that grief, the weight of it.
Marc:And then to kind of sit in that space.
Marc:And that cemetery is very close to me.
Marc:I drive by it all the time.
Marc:And then it was interesting because I still find, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me.
Marc:Do you know what I mean?
Marc:This funeral was so pleasant and so clearly this guy lived the life he wanted to live and loved and had people that loved him.
Marc:I can't even imagine what my funeral would be.
Marc:It's going to be a lot of people saying, like, most people didn't really know Mark the way I knew him.
Marc:But he was a good guy.
Marc:He could be difficult.
Marc:You know, nine people in the room.
Marc:They had the cars.
Marc:all parked in line so everyone could kind of leave the parking lot in a procession, right, to go to the burial site.
Marc:And I was about three lines in.
Marc:You know, they were lined up.
Marc:And there were people cutting.
Marc:There were people, you know, pulling out of their line to go on the procession, you know, before their turn.
Marc:And I immediately was like, you know, what the fuck is that guy doing?
Marc:What the fuck?
Marc:Like, what's the hurry?
Marc:But I still had that impulse.
Marc:Like, these people are cheating.
Marc:You know, they're going to get what?
Marc:What are they going to get?
Marc:They're not going to put them in the ground without everybody there.
Marc:I just have to check myself, man.
Marc:But it was heavy, man.
Marc:It was obviously heavy.
Marc:But it was, like I said, the service was beautiful.
Marc:People were there for it.
Marc:And I watched them, you know, put him in the ground.
Marc:And I drive by that exit and by that, like I see that cemetery from my hike three days a week.
Marc:And I was driving back from the comedy store.
Marc:I actually went and did comedy the night of the funeral and it was not good.
Marc:Too raw.
Marc:Couldn't speak from the right place.
Marc:And I drive past it almost daily, that cemetery.
Marc:And I just couldn't wrap my brain around the idea as I was driving home, like on Friday night, that a week ago Friday, Saget was home in his house, living his life.
Marc:And I just saw them put him in the ground right over there.
Marc:He was in his house, in his bed.
Marc:Now he's in the ground right over there.
Marc:I can't get that out of my head.
Marc:And I'm going to miss knowing he's alive in the world.
Marc:I really am.
Marc:Something happened the other night.
Marc:What day is today?
Marc:Monday, Saturday night, I had a spot at the comedy store, 915.
Marc:And Jeff Ross texted me that he and John Mayer
Marc:And Chappelle, we're going to take over the belly room, which is the small room upstairs.
Marc:It seats about 80 maybe in the comedy store for, you know, just for to blow off some steam for Saget's family and friends.
Marc:So it was this little kind of private show upstairs.
Marc:He said, look, I'm going to tell John Mayer.
Marc:John's going to bring another guitar if you want to hang out.
Marc:And there's still part of me that's sort of like, nah, this is a set up.
Marc:But Jeffrey Ross has been very nice to me, and he seems to look out for me, and he wants to make sure I'm part of things.
Marc:But I get to the comedy store, and I'm waiting around to do my spot.
Marc:They're running a little late, and people are starting to come for that show.
Marc:I see Jeff, and I talk to him for a while, and then a lot of other people.
Marc:I saw them at the funeral as well, but...
Marc:You know, his family's coming.
Marc:You know, his daughter show up who I've never met.
Marc:And Jeff introduced me to his daughters.
Marc:And one of his daughters said, my father liked you a lot.
Marc:And I just like, you know, got choked up.
Marc:And I'm like, I got to.
Marc:I guess I got to go play guitar.
Marc:Now, I did bring two picks with me because like all I could think of is like there's like I'm not it's not going to be some I'm not going to have to get on stage and go toe to toe with John Mayer.
Marc:It just might be fun to play a little guitar with John Mayer even for a few minutes because he's so fucking good.
Marc:But just in case I threw the picks in my pocket.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I went up there and I was just watching from the back of the room after I did my set.
Marc:And Chappelle looks in the back of the room.
Marc:He's talking and Jeff's on stage talking and John Mayer is just sitting there with a guitar.
Marc:They're talking about Bob Saget.
Marc:They're getting laughs here and there.
Marc:And Chappelle's like, is that Marc Maron?
Marc:I'm like, yes, yes.
Marc:He's like, oh, an OG.
Marc:what's up man he says I'm sorry I didn't get to see you at the funeral we didn't get to talk I know you had some loss in your life as well and I'm sorry I'm glad you're here yeah and this is like in front of everybody thank you man I appreciate that and then Ross is like come up here we got another guitar John Mayer's like I brought a guitar and I'm like I don't know you know come on man I'm not you know no no no and I'm like I got two picks in my pocket
Marc:And the audience is like, yeah, come on.
Marc:I'm like, all right.
Marc:And I get up there and put a guitar on, sat there, me next to Mare, next to Ross in between.
Marc:Ross was in between me and Mare.
Marc:Me and John were trading licks, doing a little blues and everything, you know.
Marc:I did all right.
Marc:Held my own.
Marc:It wasn't like a music show.
Marc:It was just sort of like Dave was talking.
Marc:Jeff was talking.
Marc:I chime in.
Marc:John Mayer would chime in.
Marc:But the truth is, like, despite what anyone thinks about anybody at this point in time, this was a night for Bob's friends and family.
Marc:These were comics getting together.
Marc:You know, to blow off a little steam after an incredibly difficult week for friends and family, a Bob Saget.
Marc:And it got racy and it got interesting and it got fun and it got real.
Marc:And there was a lot of smoke and been around that much smoke, whether it's a Chappelle cigarettes or weed or whatever was going on.
Marc:I left.
Marc:I only hung out about an hour, and I realized, like, oh, this is what happens.
Marc:I know these guys sometimes stay on stage for hours, and I'm like, they just get fucked up, and they keep going and going because they don't want to be alone, or they don't want to stop.
Marc:But I got out after about an hour.
Marc:It was hard.
Marc:I had to extricate myself, and I was...
Marc:There were people going, no, I got to go.
Marc:I got to go.
Marc:And I felt the smoke in my head.
Marc:In my head, I felt it.
Marc:But again, I was happy to do it.
Marc:I was happy to be part of the community and be part of the show.
Marc:And it was very sweet of Bob's daughter to say that.
Marc:And it was good to see everybody.
Marc:So, as I mentioned earlier, Nicole Byer is here.
Marc:And the new series she's on is called Grand Crew.
Marc:It's on NBC, but you can see her on all her other stuff or listen to her on all her other stuff.
Marc:She does a lot of stuff.
Marc:Grand Crew is on NBC.
Marc:New episodes on Tuesday nights.
Marc:This is me talking to the very funny, very charming, kind of exciting, Nicole Byer.
Nicole Byer.
Marc:I'm not a baker.
Guest:Neither am I. You're not?
Guest:No.
Marc:You ever try?
Guest:I have tried.
Guest:I can make ooey gooey butter cake.
Guest:It's a Paula Deen recipe.
Guest:I know she's bad.
Guest:She said the N-word a couple times on record.
Marc:Hey, if you're okay with it, I'll be okay with it just for this conversation.
Guest:It's tasty!
It's tasty!
Guest:You can't taste the racism.
Marc:It's just sweet.
Guest:I can make that.
Guest:I can make mac and cheese.
Marc:Mac and cheese.
Marc:Baked?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Marc:I've baked some mac and cheese in my day.
Marc:Like in a roasting pan, the whole layer of it?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You make like the roux.
Marc:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:Right, right, right.
Guest:And then you pour it over the noodles.
Guest:My mom used to make it, and I'm on a quest to try to make it the way my mother used to.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Did you get it?
Guest:My sister has said, good try.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I think it's not quite.
Marc:Not quite?
Guest:Is there onion in it?
Guest:My mom put onions in it.
Guest:Yeah, right.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:That's part of that.
Marc:It's like that joy of cooking recipe.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Kinda?
Guest:Yeah, I guess.
Guest:I don't know the joy of cooking recipe.
Marc:Oh, it's like that classic one.
Marc:Like there was a period where I was just trying to bake, or just not bake, but, because I cook a lot.
Marc:So I was just asking you questions.
Marc:It's not because you host a show where people make fucked up cakes.
Marc:I can cook Irish soda bread.
Marc:Ah.
Marc:And a pie.
Marc:I can do a pie.
Guest:Okay.
Marc:I'm just trying to get on your show.
Marc:What do I got to do to make a fool out of myself?
Guest:You have to be able to not bake.
Guest:You have to be bad at it.
Marc:No, but I can't do it improvisationally.
Marc:I got to have a recipe.
Marc:Oh.
Marc:You mean people just get on there and they don't even know how much flour to put in kind of deal?
Guest:The first couple seasons, it was people who truly couldn't read directions, had no artistic eye because it's like you got to make a cake, but then you got to make it into like a shark or something like that.
Marc:So this is one of those, because I get the idea of the show.
Marc:You're basically like people are signing up.
Marc:They're like, I'm okay looking stupid.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
Guest:And it's like, I get it.
Guest:I'm in on the joke.
Guest:This is fun.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But yeah, ooey gooey butter cake.
Marc:That's good.
Guest:I can make cookies.
Guest:That's pretty easy.
Marc:Yeah, I can't.
Marc:I don't want to have them around.
Guest:Oh.
Marc:I don't want cookies in my house.
Marc:I got chocolate in my house.
Marc:I can't have ice cream in my house.
Marc:Why?
Marc:Because then it's just an ongoing battle.
Marc:Look, I'm crazy.
Marc:I grew up with an anorexic mother.
Marc:So my ideas about eating and food are not great.
Marc:So it's an ongoing... Like last night, for instance.
Marc:I was sad.
Marc:My buddy Bob Saget passed away yesterday.
Marc:And I thought like, well, maybe I should go get a pint of ice cream and just plow through it.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But I made a different choice.
Marc:I'm like, you know what?
Marc:There's a Baskin and Robbins down the street.
Marc:I'll just go get a cone.
Guest:Oh, see, okay.
Guest:I like that.
Guest:I thought you were depriving yourself of yummy treats.
Marc:No, no.
Marc:It's just when I have them in the house, I'll eat all of them.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And fast.
Guest:I'm the same way.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So what happens is if I got ice cream in the freezer, I'm just sort of like, I'm going to have to get rid of that by eating it.
Guest:Now.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:People were sending me pints and pints.
Guest:Oh.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Places.
Guest:Oh.
Marc:They were like, this guy will put it on Instagram.
Guest:From where?
Marc:Jenny's was sending me.
Guest:Okay.
Marc:For a while.
Marc:And then there's this place in...
Guest:I have a problem with Jenny's.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Yes.
Marc:I have a problem too, but it'd be different than yours.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:I wonder what your problem is.
Guest:So I went in, I asked for a half scoop because I have portion control issues and the lady behind the counter said, we can't do that.
Guest:And I said, why?
Guest:I just want like half of a kid's scoop.
Guest:And she said, we don't do that.
Guest:I have to charge you for a full scoop.
Guest:And I said, that's okay.
Guest:I just want half of it and I don't want to throw it away because I won't throw it away.
Guest:I'll just eat it.
Guest:And she said, we can't do that.
Guest:And I was so angry.
Guest:I was like, I'll get nothing.
Guest:So I have
Guest:not a vendetta against Jenny's, but if someone's like, let's go to Jenny's, I'll be like, no, thank you.
Marc:So even in paying full price, they wouldn't give you the half?
Guest:No!
Guest:She insists on giving me the full scoop, even though I didn't want it.
Guest:That's my problem with Jenny's.
Marc:Well, that's more of a consumer problem.
Marc:Like a problem with their policy.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:i this place that i was getting ice cream from in st louis like they're sending it to me from st louis this place clementine's there's a few of them in the st louis area okay it's artisanal ice cream now in order to call something artisanal it has to have a certain amount of milk fat in it so like 18 or something crazy right like most ice cream you buy at the store it's like 16 so you eat this stuff and it means it has to be made by hand and have that high milk fat in it so it's like real fucking
Marc:And the woman who owned that place told me, with these other places, they don't have it.
Marc:Haagen-Dazs, nope.
Marc:Jenny's, nope.
Marc:Used to, no more.
Guest:Why?
Marc:Went corporate, because you have to do it by hand.
Guest:Oh, yes, and that's time consuming.
Marc:But you can cut corners.
Marc:With milk fat, if you earn the trick, why not save money?
Marc:And that's what they care about.
Marc:Interesting.
Marc:So it's not even top-notch.
Guest:There's this place in Brooklyn called The Social.
Guest:So they used to own Ample Hills Creamery, and then, I don't know, something happened.
Guest:They left that, and they started a new one called The Social.
Guest:And maybe theirs is artisanal.
Guest:I feel like theirs is handmade.
Guest:Probably, yeah.
Guest:And it's very, very rich.
Guest:Rich, yeah.
Guest:It's so good.
Guest:They have one called ooey gooey butter cake.
Guest:That's what I'm always coming back to.
Guest:It's my favorite.
Marc:A lot of them do that now, the butter cake one.
Marc:It's so good.
Marc:So I watched some of the stand-up.
Marc:I mean, I don't know you.
Marc:I mean, I didn't know you was a stand-up because I'm old, though.
Marc:I'm old now.
Guest:It's okay.
Marc:I don't know any of the kids anymore.
Guest:Oh, thank you for calling me a kid.
Marc:She's so young.
Marc:But where'd you come from?
Guest:Where'd I come from?
Guest:Middletown, New Jersey.
Guest:Well, I started doing improv in New York at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and then moved out here.
Guest:So I was doing like sketch and improv.
Marc:But you grew up in Jersey?
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:I'm from Jersey.
Guest:What part of Jersey are you from?
Marc:Well, I'm genetically Jersey, as I like to say.
Marc:Both my parents from Jersey.
Marc:I was born in Jersey.
Marc:I lived in Jersey until I was like six.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Pompton Lakes is where my mother's from.
Marc:That's Morris County, I think.
Guest:Maybe Bergen County.
Guest:That's north.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:North Jersey.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And my dad from Jersey City.
Guest:Oh, okay.
Guest:So you're North Jersey.
Guest:I'm from Central Jersey.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But you probably, people in North Jersey are like, that's South Jersey.
Guest:People in South Jersey are like, that's North.
Guest:But we're like, we're Central.
Marc:We exist.
Marc:Yeah, but it's not by Patterson, no?
Guest:I don't think so.
Guest:It's funny.
Guest:People from Jersey have no idea where other places in Jersey are.
Marc:You must know where some parts of Jersey are.
Guest:I know where Princeton is.
Marc:Oh, so it's near there?
Guest:No.
Guest:Oh.
Marc:Ha, ha, ha.
Guest:So it's by like Red Bank, Lil' Silver.
Marc:Red Bank where the Count Basie Theater is?
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Yes.
Guest:And that's a dream of mine.
Guest:I want to play the Count Basie Theater.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Because you grew up by it?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I played it.
Marc:Is it fun?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I think I'm going back to it.
Marc:I think they're calling it something else now.
Guest:Oh, no.
Guest:That makes me very, very sad.
Marc:Like the Red Bank something center, maybe.
Guest:No, boo!
Marc:Yeah, where's Count Basie?
Marc:How do you lose Count Basie?
Guest:Who is Count Basie?
Marc:You know who Count Basie is.
Guest:I sure don't.
Marc:Oh, see?
Guest:I'm young, you have to remember.
Marc:Count Basie was a piano player and band leader that I believe started with Duke Ellington.
Guest:Oh, okay.
Marc:So there was the Count Basie Orchestra.
Guest:Oh.
Marc:Kind of swing and stuff, pre-bebop kind of thing.
Guest:Okay.
Marc:Yeah, big jazz orchestra.
Guest:Maybe I'll listen to some of them.
Marc:Got to listen to Count Basie.
Marc:We can do it right now.
Marc:You can do it later.
Marc:But growing up, how many brothers and sisters?
Marc:Are you a big family?
Guest:Just one sister.
Guest:One older sister who's very tiny, so she looks younger than me.
Guest:How's she doing?
Guest:She's good.
Guest:She's a teacher and she's really sweet.
Guest:Teacher.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's a good job.
Guest:It is a nice job.
Guest:I could never.
Guest:How old are the kids?
Guest:They're young.
Guest:I think they're like six, maybe?
Guest:Six, seven, eight.
Marc:Oh, so real kids.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So they're not horrible yet.
Guest:They're not.
Marc:Not horrible, but... They're horrible like kids, not horrible like bad kids.
Guest:Yeah, they're not terrible, but she'll tell me stories and I'm like, kids are just, they're unreasonable.
Guest:You can't reason with them.
Guest:They say something wild and then you're like, well, that might not be true.
Guest:And they're like, but it is.
Guest:I said it.
Guest:It's true.
Guest:Yeah, I couldn't do it.
Guest:She's sweet.
Marc:I don't have any.
Marc:I can't spend too much time with them.
Guest:I don't love them.
No.
Guest:They're sticky and stuff.
Guest:I just can't imagine having one in my house where you wake up and they're staring at you and they're like, excuse me, excuse me.
Guest:Or at night, they're like, there's a man in my closet.
Guest:And you're like, oh, no.
Guest:I don't want to deal with a haunting.
Guest:Go to sleep.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I don't want it.
Marc:I found early on, I think, that I am too selfish, too panicky, and too angry to have them.
Guest:I think a lot of people who do have them are like that.
Guest:And they maybe should not have had children.
Marc:I say that on stage now.
Marc:I'm like, you don't have to.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, you can make choices.
Marc:You're not a dog.
Guest:Yes.
Yeah.
Marc:You can make grown up choices not to have them.
Guest:You do anything you want.
Guest:I don't think I want them.
Guest:Although if I turn 50 and I'm still a single woman, I'll probably adopt like an older kid and be like, you're my friend.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:15 year old.
Marc:That'd be a little weird.
Marc:Maybe like 13.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:15 is too old.
Marc:I don't want to be your mother, but I just want someone to be around.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You call me Nicole.
Guest:We travel.
Guest:We have a good time.
Guest:Maybe go to school a little bit.
Marc:People will look at you weird.
Guest:You think?
Marc:Yeah, they might judge you a little bit.
Guest:If I adopt an older kid, that's my new friend?
Marc:Yeah, if you buy an older kid.
Guest:Well, I figure older kids don't get adopted often, so wouldn't it be nice if I got one?
Marc:Sure, sure.
Guest:Come on, Fran, let's go to Fran.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I guess there's probably a reason why older kids don't get adopted.
Marc:It's a sad reason, but they're kind of set in their ways already.
Guest:Yeah, but are you set in your ways if a nice lady with money wants to take you around the world?
Guest:I think you kind of bend to it and you go, this is fun for me.
Marc:Why don't you just find a 20-year-old?
Marc:I guess, yeah.
Guest:I get like a 21-year-old.
Guest:I'm like, you're of legal age.
Guest:Let's hang out and be friends.
Guest:See what happens.
Marc:Adopt a 21-year-old.
Marc:So what world did you grow up in?
Marc:I don't know what Middletown.
Marc:Middletown?
Guest:Yeah, Lincroft in Middletown.
Marc:What did you like folks do?
Marc:What was the story over there?
Guest:What was it?
Guest:I mean, in high school, I smoked a lot of weed.
Marc:A lot of weed?
Guest:And then went to Chili's and would say it was one of our birthdays and would giggle and get a free dessert.
Marc:That was your childhood.
Marc:Smoked weed, went to Chili's.
Guest:yeah yeah yeah high school lied about your birthday yeah it was a lot of it yeah yeah i smoked a lot of weed in high school uh i go to english class a lot high and my teacher would be like do you want to read this part of the book and i'd laugh and i'd be like no i can't i can't do that i had the same thing and i had to go to the nurse because i was so embarrassed
Marc:It wasn't English, it was like some other, like social studies or something, and she asked me to read, and I literally couldn't handle it.
Marc:But I felt so embarrassed.
Marc:I said, I gotta go to the nurse.
Marc:I'm too high.
Guest:I would just giggle and be like, I'm sorry, I can't do it.
Marc:But you had friends, right, who were probably having fun.
Marc:No one knew I was high.
Guest:Oh, you were just doing it by yourself?
Marc:No, I was out with other people at lunch or whatever, but they weren't there.
Marc:I wasn't part of a crew.
Marc:I was just a lone stone dude.
Guest:Just a lone stone in social studies being like, I'm not sure.
Marc:Yeah, I couldn't do it.
Marc:It's the worst feeling.
Guest:It is a weird feeling to be alone in a school setting where you're like, sorry, I can't function up too high for this.
Marc:I can't read.
Marc:I couldn't tell her I was too high.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I remember the teacher, Mrs. Wall.
Guest:Weird.
Guest:I think Mrs. DeMarco.
Marc:Did you do anything in high school?
Guest:My mother was like, you talk a lot, so why don't you do the play?
Guest:And I was like, okay.
Guest:And that's how I got into acting and performing.
Marc:How old were you then?
Guest:I think I was 15.
Guest:15.
Marc:What did your mom do?
Guest:My mom was a stay-at-home mom, but she also was a lunch aide at my school because she was obsessed with me, couldn't get away from me.
Guest:She was like, let me come to school with you.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So she treated you like you want to treat your adopted kid?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:She was like, I got to go everywhere with this little kid.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:What does a lunch aide do?
Guest:uh during lunch yeah you like watch over the kids just hang out wow that's interesting i like don't remember is everything okay at this table yeah do you need napkins plates uh forks knives what do you need yeah yeah uh i think it was just like volunteer parents to just like watch kids while teachers i guess got a break that's nice so she was just hanging around school and people were like what's your mom doing here yeah she's just hanging out leave me alone what'd your dad do
Guest:My dad was, he worked at AT&T as like an engineer.
Guest:I think that's what it is.
Guest:He like wrote programs and stuff.
Guest:Computer guy?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Like very smart and really wanted me to be smart too.
Guest:And like I did think I'm like kind of smart, but like academics, oh boy, it's hard.
Guest:You want me to sit and read and do problems?
Guest:No.
Marc:I couldn't do it.
Marc:I'm not a math guy.
Marc:I'm not a math.
Marc:I can't do the math.
Guest:Yeah, it's too hard.
Guest:Science, that's also too hard.
Marc:I guess some people got a knack for it.
Marc:I don't know what it is.
Marc:Science, no, I got an F or an E. The teacher was trying to not fail me, so he gave me an E in chemistry.
Guest:That's kind.
Marc:It was kind, but I just couldn't, because chemistry is like math.
Marc:I couldn't do it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I don't know what my brain is broken like that.
Marc:And algebra, I couldn't figure out algebra.
Guest:Algebra is so hard.
Guest:I just agree algebra, algebra.
Guest:Then they put me in basic math because they're like, friend, you're not good at this.
Marc:You're really bad.
Marc:I feel bad about it.
Marc:And there's some part of me that thinks like, well, I'm an adult now.
Marc:I think it's time to tackle math.
Yeah.
Guest:No.
Guest:Here's the only thing you need in math as an adult who's not in the field of math or whatever quantum physics is to figure out the tip.
Guest:You move the decimal point one place and then double it and that's 20%.
Guest:Right.
Guest:That's the only thing you need to know.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Right.
Marc:That's it.
Marc:Yep.
Marc:Some recipes though.
Marc:Oh.
Marc:Maybe some fractions.
Marc:Maybe how many tablespoons is in a quarter cup kind of deal.
Marc:Make those kind of transitions.
Guest:Well, you have a quarter cup.
Marc:I know, but what if something costs for six tablespoons?
Marc:It can be like, I can just use a quarter cup and two tablespoons because I know how many tablespoons.
Guest:Oh, see, that would be nice.
Guest:Not I. I'll do six teaspoons or tablespoons or whatever.
Marc:Yeah, I can make those kind of fraction decisions.
Guest:Oh, see, that's nice.
Marc:I know.
Marc:All right, so your mom pushes into the drama.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:Yeah, and what is it?
Marc:What's happening?
Marc:What plays do you do?
Guest:So the first play I did, there were so many people who wanted to do the plays that my drama teacher, Ms.
Guest:Sutton, she did a bunch of short plays by Christopher Durang.
Marc:Yeah, I remember those.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So there's The Actor's Nightmare, DMV Tyrant.
Guest:Oh, I can't remember any other ones.
Marc:Yeah, forget the one that I knew.
Marc:Wow.
Guest:But I guess there was like 10 of them.
Guest:So like there was just a bunch of kids in them.
Guest:And I did DMV Tyrant, which is just like a frustrating lady at the DMV.
Guest:Character piece.
Guest:A very character piece.
Guest:And people laughed and really loved it.
Guest:And I was like, ooh, baby, this is what I got to do for the rest of my life.
Guest:What a treat.
Marc:That was it?
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Marc:Getting the laughs.
Guest:Yeah, it's addictive.
Guest:It's like what I think maybe shooting heroin's like, where you're just chasing that high.
Marc:Sure, but I think when you shoot heroin, your responsibility's end there.
Guest:Oh, sure, yeah.
Marc:Once you do the shot, you're good.
Marc:With the laugh, you gotta keep working.
Guest:You gotta keep working.
Guest:Yeah, you gotta do a whole hour of ha-has.
Marc:Just to get that fixed.
Marc:Yeah, it is a lot of work.
Marc:It is.
Marc:So you just were doing mostly theater in high school?
Guest:Yeah, just theater in high school.
Guest:We had a spring play and a fall play.
Guest:So I would do that.
Guest:And then I was also doing track and field at that time.
Guest:I was doing the fat girl sport, which is shot put.
Guest:That's where I put all the fat.
Guest:He's like, oh, you're probably strong, right?
Guest:You big.
Guest:So I did that.
Guest:And then I quit.
Guest:Well, I was doing pretty good.
Guest:My coach was frustrated with me.
Guest:He was like, if you just like worked out and worked a little harder, you could be really good at this.
Guest:And I was like, but I'm an actor.
Guest:Shot putting.
Marc:A practical skill.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Throwing the ball around.
Guest:You could go to the Olympics or something.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Not for you?
Guest:No.
Guest:No, I don't want to go to the Olympics.
Marc:Are you kidding?
Marc:And throw the heavy ball around?
Guest:No.
Guest:No.
Guest:Give me a stage.
Marc:Give me costumes.
Marc:Every day you have to go out to the field after school.
Marc:Throw the heavy ball around.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Not for you.
Guest:Not for me.
Guest:And then-
Marc:But you're able to graduate high school somehow?
Guest:Barely.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:There was Ms.
Guest:Ernst who worked in the office.
Guest:She was like, Nicole, you've missed too many days of school.
Guest:You're not going to graduate.
Guest:You've missed like too, too many.
Marc:You ditched?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:I never went to school.
Marc:What'd you guys do?
Guest:Go to Chili's?
Guest:No, you'd go to the beach during school.
Guest:You'd go to the beach or smoke weed in someone's car or whatever.
Marc:I didn't want to be there.
Marc:I haven't talked about ditching school in a while.
Marc:You had to sort of figure it out, though.
Marc:You definitely had a ditch schedule, didn't you?
Marc:I can't ditch this one again this week.
Guest:No, I really was wild with reckless abandon.
Guest:I was like, I don't have to go anywhere.
Guest:And my mom died my junior year.
Guest:And this sounds awful, but I would just be like, my mom's dead.
Guest:I'm sad.
Guest:And people never knew what to say to me.
Guest:So I'd be like, so I get to leave.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:and i'd get out of things and then miss ernst i was like my mom's dead she was like doesn't matter you miss school you have to like there's consequences and then i like burst into tears and i was like you can't make me come back here next year she was like if you shut up and just come to school for the rest of the year i will move i will remove two of these or whatever yeah so she's the reason why i graduated
Marc:Oh wow, a little sympathy.
Marc:Well, I mean, you're probably telling the truth.
Guest:Yeah, I mean.
Marc:I mean, it's terrible.
Guest:Yeah, it sucked.
Marc:When your mom passed away.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And there was nothing there, like they probably at that time at the school didn't have anything in place to help you out through that, did they?
Guest:No, but I did have a really great guidance counselor who she like let me sit in her office and just like talk to her a lot.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So like that was helpful because it was like, OK, there's an adult here who cares.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But it was it was weird.
Guest:It's weird to deal with like, I don't know, a 16 year old who's going through who's grieving.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, because like grieving is hard anyways.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's hard as an adult.
Marc:And you have no control over it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And it's horrendous.
Marc:And so what about your dad?
Marc:Was he helpful?
Guest:He was a quiet person.
Guest:I mean, he wasn't unhelpful, but he was dealing with his own shit.
Marc:Yeah, I guess nobody knows what to do.
Marc:No.
Marc:So did you become just a terror after that?
Guest:Not a terror, but I...
Guest:distinctly remember because like my mom she did most of the like curfew shit or punishment shit or like you can go here you can go there but my dad was like alright I gotta figure out some of these rules like what is your curfew and I was like yeah
Guest:midnight yeah and my sister was like 10 yeah and he goes okay nicole comes home at midnight and katherine comes home at 10 and i just don't think his like brain was like firing at all cylinders because i'm younger right also like if one says 10 that's probably correct right midnight's definitely not correct right we're in high school yeah um but it was just funny we just like my sister had a she wouldn't lie she would tell the truth yeah so she would you know
Guest:Be home at 10.
Guest:She'd live in the truth.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I was, like, living in this weird world.
Guest:I was making up, like, on the fly.
Guest:I'd be like, yeah, I'm allowed to go in the city alone.
Guest:Yeah, I'm allowed to sleep with this person.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he'd be like, oh, all right.
Marc:Oh, wow.
Marc:So he was really kind of like a math brain guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Checked out.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And your mom was the one who was on top of everything.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:So you must have, like, liberated in sadness.
Guest:Uh-huh, yeah.
Marc:Were you angry, too?
Guest:Probably, yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You haven't dug any of that stuff up?
Guest:I mean, I have.
Guest:And I guess it was like my mom was religious and a lot of religious people were like, oh, she's with God or whatever.
Guest:She's in a better place.
Guest:And I'm like, I don't know why anybody thinks that's like a good thing to say to anybody.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Because it's like, how does that comfort me?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:What about the place where I was at with her?
Guest:That was a nice place.
Guest:How about you come back here?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So yeah, I guess I was angry and I truly, I stopped going to church and stuff.
Guest:I was like, this isn't for me.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I don't like this.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I never, I don't, I didn't, I don't find it that, no one knows what to say, you know?
Marc:And it's like, they're trying to say things, you know, like her memory will be a blessing and like a better place.
Marc:Any of that stuff.
Marc:The one that I talk about on stage though is the one where it's sort of like, well, you know her, she's still here, her energy that people don't leave their energy still here.
Marc:And I'm like, I liked it in the human form.
Guest:It was better when it was her.
Guest:Like weird ghost energy.
Guest:I don't want that shit.
Guest:I want this person.
Guest:I want something tangible.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:Yeah, I don't think people realize how unhelpful they are.
Guest:Like when my mom died, people kept bringing over like casseroles and shit.
Guest:We were like, we're not.
Guest:Like the oven still works.
Marc:But it's like, they want to help, and I think it's nice for them to, that's what people do.
Marc:They try to show up for you, but there's nothing anybody can do.
Marc:You're going to go through it on your own no matter what.
Marc:I just got tired of crying in front of strangers, to be honest with you.
Marc:Anybody would walk up like, hey, I heard.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I think, yeah, I don't think you even have to say I heard.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I think maybe we just hug somebody.
Guest:Yeah, that's right.
Guest:It's like, oh, okay.
Marc:But it was COVID, so it was even weirder.
Guest:Oh, God, yeah.
Marc:So I was just like crying on my porch and friends would.
Guest:And people are like six feet away.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:Hey, buddy, if you need anything, let me know.
Guest:You're like, mm-hmm.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:Human touch, that's what I need.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Well, actually, I'm not great with the human touch, so it worked out for me.
Marc:The human touch part, you know, when it's just supportive and pleasant and nice, like, you know, I'm going to help you out.
Marc:It's a little squirrely.
Guest:Fair.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I don't really like being touched either.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I don't like making out with people.
Guest:You don't like making out with people?
Marc:No, I don't mind that.
Guest:I don't mind that.
Guest:Oh, you don't mind.
Marc:That kind of touching is nice.
Guest:Yeah, that's nice.
Marc:It's just a sort of like, I don't understand what's happening now.
Guest:Yeah, I'm trying to get better with human touch.
Marc:My best friend Sasheer, she was like, yeah, you know.
Marc:I've talked to her.
Guest:She's one of my favorite people in the whole wide world.
Marc:She was on here.
Marc:You do a podcast with her, right?
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:What did she say?
Guest:I told her, I was like,
Guest:A friend of mine told me I was not very affectionate.
Guest:She was like, yeah, you're not.
Guest:And I was like, I'm not?
Guest:She's like, yeah.
Guest:You know, every time I try to hug you, you run away and you act like it's a bit.
Guest:She's like, I don't think it's really a bit.
Guest:And I was like, oh, no, I guess it's not a bit.
Guest:So now when we hang out, I make an effort to touch her and it's really calculated because I'll be like, oh, yes, touch her to say goodbye.
Guest:And I'll be like, goodbye and lift my hand up.
Guest:And she's like, one day it'll be natural.
Guest:So I'm working on it.
Marc:So it's not the impulse, though.
Guest:No, I have to really think about it.
Marc:I was like that, too.
Marc:I've been like that for years.
Marc:Even in relationships, romantic relationships, just sort of like when people snuggle, I'm sort of like, ugh.
Guest:Yeah, I'm not really a snuggler, either.
Guest:I'm trying to get better at it.
Marc:But it's supposed to feel good.
Guest:It is supposed to feel good.
So if it doesn't...
Marc:If it doesn't quite feel good, what are we getting better at?
Marc:You're doing it for them and maybe you'll get used to it.
Marc:I'd like to think, I don't know, why does it feel so fucking intrusive?
Marc:I don't know.
Guest:That's a good question.
Marc:To me, I'm just trying to figure out why does it bother me?
Marc:I've thought about it.
Guest:Maybe it's like, I guess it's because I'm this person, you're that person, and why should we touch?
Marc:Some of that.
Marc:Yeah, and also because of my insane kind of body image.
Marc:I don't like when people touch my body.
Marc:It reminds me of my body.
Guest:Maybe that's what it is.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But I like my body.
Marc:I like my body on and off, but when people touch it, I'm like, what?
Marc:What are you thinking about it?
Guest:Am I too lumpy?
Guest:What's going on?
Guest:Did you feel a fat roll that you didn't like?
Marc:Exactly, yeah.
Marc:I don't know why I have these things.
Marc:It's because of my mom.
Guest:probably so what happened so your your mom passed away you're 16 and did you did you continue doing theater and stuff and like yeah so i told my dad my dad wanted me to go to ruckers um brunswick yeah yeah and uh you know state school you get like some money or whatever yeah uh and i said bad school right
Guest:It's not bad.
Guest:And they had Mason Gross, which is like their acting program.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I said, no, I need to go to New York City.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's where actors go.
Marc:So no college.
Guest:No.
Guest:Well, I tricked him.
Guest:I went to a conservatory, a two-year conservatory that was like in conjunction with the New School University.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Guest:So I was like, I'll do my two years of conservatory and then I'll go get a degree.
Marc:What was that like, the conservatory?
Guest:Oh, it was a bunch of bullshit.
Guest:I learned more at UCB than I did paying just like triple the amount I paid for UCB classes.
Marc:Was it a traditional acting thing?
Guest:Kind of traditional, I guess.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:We did improv, acting for TV and film, acting for commercials and acting for the stage.
Guest:It was just like a lot of old people who are just like, you're bad, like just mean people.
Marc:Oh, so it was like one of those classes where you do a scene and then everyone talks at you?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And they were people, they were new school people, so they were people.
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:So it's the American Musical and Dramatica Catch Me.
Guest:I don't say the name often because I don't want them to claim me because they taught me nothing.
Guest:Okay, got it.
Guest:But yeah, so like we would do these classes.
Guest:You would work outside a class with your scene partner, present the scene, and then we would talk about why it was good or why it was bad.
Marc:So the old people are the teachers, you mean?
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Right.
Yeah.
Guest:And it just, I don't know, it wasn't, for me, not helpful.
Guest:It was not, and they were like, you shouldn't audition while you're here.
Guest:And it's like, but that's what we're trying, what?
Guest:Right.
Guest:And they're like, no, you need to concentrate on your studies.
Guest:So that was like weird.
Guest:And then after I graduated, I like, I don't know, just like fucked around New York for a minute.
Guest:And I was like, I don't, how do you act?
Marc:So you did two years of that?
Guest:Two years.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:And you were commuting?
Marc:Or you lived in the city?
Guest:No, I lived in the city.
Marc:Where'd you live?
Guest:in their dorms, the Stratford Arms, which was on 70th and Broadway, and then moved up to, they had this hotel that they rented out, which was on 92nd and Broadway.
Marc:No kitchen?
Guest:No.
Guest:Huh.
Guest:No.
Guest:No kitchen.
Guest:It was just like this weird shared kitchen that we all had that was disgusting.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Because it was like a bunch of 18-year-olds who didn't clean up after themselves.
Guest:And then I moved up to Harlem after I graduated.
Guest:I moved to like 146th and Broadway, then 125th and Broadway.
Guest:Stayed on Broadway.
Guest:Just loved Broadway.
Guest:Uptown.
Uptown.
Marc:I have no sense of, because my buddy teaches at Columbia, so he's up there, but that seems way up there.
Marc:Did you like it up there?
Guest:I did.
Guest:I was by Columbia, so 125th and Broadway is real Columbia territory.
Marc:Yeah, it's nice.
Guest:I liked it, but I just went back, and they built all these huge fucking buildings, and it just feels different.
Guest:I don't feel homey.
Guest:It feels nasty.
Guest:I don't like it.
Marc:I don't know who lives in New York anymore.
Guest:It's weird.
Marc:I'm not sure what's going on there.
Guest:I don't.
Marc:It's different.
Marc:It is, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But not because of COVID.
Marc:It was different before COVID.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's just like little cute restaurants are closing and cute little shops are closing.
Marc:It doesn't feel like the people that work in the city can't live there anymore.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So you're just sort of like, and you feel like a lot of the buildings are empty or something.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's weird.
Guest:Because it's like a lot of people just holding investments.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:It's weird.
Marc:It is.
Marc:I was a downtown guy.
Marc:I never lived there.
Marc:oh yeah where downtown i lived on second between a and b for a couple years way back in the 80s and i had i was at um 16th and third okay for a while in this old building yeah those were the two primary new york residences yeah so after the acting you get do you start auditioning what happens or you get out of the acting school and you're like i don't know how to do this
Guest:Yeah, I kind of fucked around for a while.
Guest:I was working at, I call it Lame Giant.
Guest:It's a plus-size store called Lame Bryant.
Guest:People didn't like it when I said it there.
Guest:Worked there for a little bit, quit there, was a waitress, and then... How was waitressing?
Guest:Horrible.
Guest:Oh, I was bad at it.
Guest:I don't have a good memory.
Guest:I have ADHD.
Guest:I would go to tables and forget my little pad to write things down, and then they'd start ordering, and I never knew how to be like...
Guest:I won't remember this.
Guest:And I would try sometimes.
Guest:And I'd get to the computer and I'd be like, I don't know.
Guest:So I'd go back to the table and be like, okay guys, second chance.
Guest:Did you want to change anything?
Guest:And I'd be like, no.
Guest:And I'd be like, okay, will you give it to me again?
Guest:Because I don't know.
Guest:And then I would always forget to put in a kid's order so everyone would have their food and the kid would be in a corner and he'd be sad.
Guest:And I'd be like, I don't know, it's the kitchen.
Guest:Someone make chicken fingers for me.
Guest:Bad, bad waitress.
Guest:Make good money though.
Marc:How do you make good money being a bad waitress?
Guest:Charisma.
Marc:Oh.
Guest:People were like, she's funny.
Marc:Oh, you did?
Guest:We got to get her out of here.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Give her enough money so she don't have to work here no more.
Marc:So you were like the endearing bad waitress.
Guest:Very that.
Marc:People enjoyed their experience with you.
Uh-huh.
Guest:But yeah, I would drop drinks all the time.
Guest:I couldn't balance a tray.
Guest:So I would bring drinks two at a time.
Guest:And people would be like, are you kidding?
Guest:And I'd be like, no.
Guest:No one taught me how to open wine.
Guest:So I would bring a wine bottle to a table.
Guest:And I'd be like, there you go.
Guest:Leave the wine key there.
Guest:At once, I'll never forget this.
Guest:I served a table white wine.
Guest:And they were like, can we have a bucket?
Guest:And I was like, you going to drink it out of a bucket?
Guest:And they were like, no, a bucket with ice.
Guest:And I was like, you want ice in your wine?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I went back to my roommate, Jen, who also worked there, and I was like, Jen, these people want to drink their wine out of a bucket, but they keep looking at me weird when I keep saying they want to drink out of a bucket.
Guest:And she's like, to keep it chilled, Nicole.
Guest:And I was like, oh, she's like, the bottle goes in.
Guest:And it blew my mind.
Guest:I was like, oh, I'm so dumb.
Guest:Oh, good moment, though.
Guest:But then I found UCB.
Yes.
Marc:How did you find that?
Guest:I Googled, what do actors do when they're not acting?
Guest:Really?
Guest:And it was like improv.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I looked up improv theaters, and there was The Pit, The Magnet, and UCB.
Guest:And I applied to be an intern at The Pit, and they rejected me.
Marc:What year is that?
Guest:This was, my dad died in... Your dad died too.
Guest:Yeah, 2010, I believe, because I moved to L.A.
Guest:in, no, 2008, I think.
Guest:How'd you die?
Guest:This is terrible.
Guest:Hold on.
Guest:I have a tattoo.
Marc:Of...
Guest:Okay, 2008.
Marc:What's that tattoo for?
Guest:It's the date he died, so I can remember, because I have a terrible memory.
Guest:Oh, wow.
Guest:Yeah, that my mom's date is on my ankle.
Guest:Truly, just an awful memory.
Guest:And I was like, these are two dates I should remember.
Marc:How'd they die, though?
Guest:My mom had a, it's called deep vein thrombosis.
Guest:So it was a blood clot in her leg that traveled to her heart and stopped her heart.
Guest:And it was just like a sudden thing.
Guest:And just, we didn't know it was happening.
Guest:And then my dad died of a heart attack.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:How old was he?
Guest:He was 54, 56.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:He wasn't 60 yet.
Guest:He was in mid-50s.
Guest:So young.
Guest:Yeah, both of them were young.
Guest:Both of them were in mid-50s.
Marc:Oh my God.
Marc:So that must have been devastating.
Guest:Yeah, it really fucking sucked.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:It was not fun.
Marc:And you just started doing improv?
Guest:Yeah, so my dad hated the city.
Guest:He just didn't like it.
Guest:He didn't like the people.
Guest:He was like, it was too much.
Guest:It was too dirty.
Guest:And I started taking classes.
Guest:And I asked him, I was like, will you come to my graduation show?
Guest:It would be very meaningful for me.
Guest:And he was like, okay, fine.
Guest:And then he died the third week of my class.
Guest:And then the first joke I ever wrote was...
Guest:God, what was it?
Guest:My dad would rather die than watch his daughter do object work, which was too dark for audiences.
Guest:They did not like it.
Marc:Because what did you have to say?
Marc:The punchline had to be like, no, he died.
Guest:Yeah, he's actually dead, guys.
Guest:Like, truly, he did not want to watch me dribble on imaginary basketball.
Guest:He did, did.
Marc:It's so weird to... Processing grief with comedy is so... It's necessary for us, you know?
Marc:But if you don't have the right distance from it, there's no way to do it.
Marc:You know, until you have a little bit... You're a little grounded.
Marc:Like, if you're just sort of like, you know, I got to do that, you know?
Marc:Because if you don't have any sort of closure on the feelings, people are going to know.
Guest:I just want to tell you a story.
Guest:It's like, oh no, she about to have a breakdown on stage.
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:I've had breakdowns on stage, I think.
Guest:Have you?
Marc:When I was younger, sure.
Marc:But it's usually anger.
Marc:It was usually like, fuck you people.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, I've done that.
Guest:I got real burnt out in 2019 because I was- Recently.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was on the road, I would say, almost every weekend of that year.
Guest:Like, truly just like- Hammering that special?
Guest:Well, yeah.
Guest:I was trying to sell the special in 2019-
Marc:But that was the material from Big Beautiful Weirdo?
Marc:Mm-mm.
Guest:No.
Guest:So half of it was in Big Beautiful Weirdo.
Guest:And then half of it I did during COVID because I was like, oh, I guess I got to add a little bit of COVID stuff.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Things were happening.
Guest:And I was like, oh, that would be interesting to put in the special.
Guest:But I was trying to sell a special in 2019.
Guest:I was just getting tired.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Audiences, they forget that you're a person sometimes.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:if you yell at me sure maybe i'll roast you or whatever but also like maybe i had a really bad day earlier yeah i just don't want to deal with that right uh there was one show where i i screamed you're all trying to break me and then i laid down on the floor i was like will you all shut up if i stand back up wow and they were like ha ha and i was like in my brain i was like i think i'm having i don't know if i'm all right right now
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, for sure.
Guest:But I finished the show and it was fine.
Marc:Well, then probably people didn't really notice.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:They're sort of like, that was interesting.
Guest:That was funny.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Wow.
Marc:What's your audience mostly like?
Marc:Because you're popular.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:My audience is gay men, fat women, uh...
Guest:Black women who sound like me.
Guest:What does that mean?
Guest:Well, sometimes people go, you sound white or whatever, which is like, I don't know.
Guest:I'm black.
Guest:So to me, I sound like a black woman.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Who I is.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So, yeah.
Guest:Women who've been told their whole lives that they don't sound like.
Guest:Oh, interesting.
Guest:Black enough.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Black enough or whatever.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then women who drag their boyfriends and then their boyfriends at the meet and greet go, I've never heard of you one day in my life, but you're pretty funny.
Guest:You should keep going.
Guest:And I'm like, I've never needed that.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:Thank you, anonymous man.
Guest:Couples that want to have a threesome.
Marc:Oh, they?
Marc:And has that happened?
Marc:No.
Guest:No.
Guest:It's never sexy after a show.
Marc:It's the worst.
Marc:I've had that happen maybe twice where you've got a couple and they're kind of like, so what are you doing?
Guest:I'm like, not this.
Guest:Not this.
Guest:I'm going to sleep because I have two shows tomorrow.
Guest:Just the idea.
Marc:Like, what are they thinking?
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:You're just done with the show.
Marc:Like, let's go have some awkward time at your fucking house.
Marc:Uh-huh.
Marc:No.
Marc:No, thank you.
Marc:But I imagine, did you ever do like cabaret stuff?
No.
Marc:No.
Marc:Am I being somehow generalizing?
Marc:It just seems that the gay men audience is a very specific thing.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:And sometimes, I want to generalize, sometimes they're very unruly and really want to be part of the show.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And they like to yell at me and stuff.
Guest:But for the most part, they're pretty well behaved.
Marc:Yeah.
Yeah.
Marc:They just, they must love you.
Marc:I think so.
Marc:It's a good audience to have.
Marc:They've got money.
Guest:I have a really good audience.
Guest:Like sometimes I'll do shows and after the weekend they're like, your audience is so nice.
Guest:They tipped well.
Guest:Right, yeah.
Guest:Because they're grown up people and they have their money.
Guest:They do.
Guest:But also I have a podcast where I talk about bad shows.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You do?
Guest:And I'll be like, yeah, if you go to a show, you be quiet, you tip well, you ha, ha, ha, the appropriate times, and you don't scream at people.
Guest:So I've kind of trained my audience, although I started doing more crowd work, and I'll ask a question, and I'll just be met with blinking.
Guest:And I'll be like, you can talk to me now.
Guest:I'm asking a question.
Guest:I want a response.
Marc:You trained them too good.
Guest:But I've said it too many times.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So what do the heavy ladies expect?
Guest:I just think the older I get, the more I'm like representation is important.
Guest:And I think it's when you're a fat woman who maybe doesn't have confidence or doesn't feel comfortable in their body watching a woman who is pretty comfortable in their body and confident.
Guest:I think that might be like a little inspirational.
Guest:It seems wild to say about yourself.
Marc:But have people said it about you?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, people have been like, oh, you've inspired me to wear tank tops in the summer, crop tops.
Guest:And I mean, I only really started doing that in 2015.
Marc:I'm going out naked because of you.
Guest:I'm showing people my pussy.
Guest:And I'm like, that's too far.
Marc:But good for you for being comfortable and confident.
Guest:Yeah, so it feels good when people are like, yeah, I woke up one day and was like, fuck it.
Marc:How long did you have to do work around this stuff?
Guest:Not necessarily work, but I would wear like,
Guest:a short sleeve cardigan or like a cap sleeve in the summer and then one summer i was like i'm just hot and i don't think my arm fat is really that offensive right or like my stomach i don't think that's super offensive and then i went to palm springs with a friend i was wearing a bikini this older man was staring at me so i just looked at him i was like you like what you're saying yeah and then he like really had a moment like i was like oh i think i like
Guest:unlocked something in it like he was like i do like what i see you broke him i did break him a little bit and then i thought i was like well if someone says something nasty to me or like stares at me i'm like i interrupted their day that means i'm like kind of powerful yeah and i was like well that's fun yeah and then people are like you're promoting obesity i'm like how i'm not getting money from big obesity like nobody like what do you mean they don't call it that they just call it at the food industry yeah
Guest:Yeah, and I'm not getting a cut.
Marc:I'm not promoting shit.
Marc:You sick, go to the doctor.
Marc:You're not getting a cut from the butter cake people.
Marc:But promoting obesity.
Guest:Yeah, that's a thing people like to say.
Marc:No kidding.
Marc:Yeah, that must... That's a whole different type of Karen.
Guest:It's weird because it's like, you wouldn't say to someone wearing glasses, like, you're promoting glasses.
Guest:And it's like, no, it's just I wear glasses.
Guest:And it's like, I just exist as a... Do you want me to not?
Marc:Well, I think people associate it with poor health.
Guest:Sure.
Marc:You know?
Guest:But I also like pole dance and shit.
Guest:And I'll post those videos.
Guest:And I'm like...
Guest:I'm strong.
Guest:Like, I'm a strong person, and I do move my body.
Guest:People are just rude.
Marc:Yeah, no question.
Marc:Did you have to, like, well, I guess in terms of, like, was there a period where you needed, did you talk to a therapist about processing stuff?
Guest:Not about my body, no.
Guest:When I worked at Lame Giant, we're, like, skin-tight stuff.
Guest:And one day my manager was like, you know, that's not appropriate.
Guest:And I was like, this is a fat people store.
Guest:where the fats come and i'm fat and you're fat she was built like shrek i loved her the fat she like it just was so wild to me that she was like that's inappropriate i was like what yeah that was like confusing that was like one of the things that like kind of unlocked my brain that i was like even fat people are uncomfortable with fatness yeah and it's like it's just something that you have right and you can change it sure if you want yeah
Guest:If you don't want to, like, go for a walk every day.
Guest:Make sure you're a little healthy.
I don't know.
Guest:It's a lot.
Guest:It's a lot of bullshit wrapped up in bodies and weight.
Guest:You like that?
Guest:The fats?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:The fats are coming.
Marc:No, my mother's terrified of it.
Marc:My mother was an obese young person.
Marc:And her reaction to that, like she destroyed all the pictures of herself that existed.
Guest:No!
Marc:Of her with weight.
Marc:And she became, you know, fairly profoundly anorexic in a way, but then just sort of made it her way of life.
Marc:Like she's not inherently that unhealthy, but maintaining her weight was like her priority for most of her life.
Guest:That bums me out.
Guest:She made me crazy.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:She once said, you know, if you were fat, I don't know if I could love you.
Guest:That's the wildest fucking thing I've ever heard.
Guest:How interesting.
Marc:Because of her own shame.
Guest:But it's like, if you're a nice person, and you got a little bit of fat, it's okay.
Marc:She was just so uncomfortable with everybody else's fat.
Guest:Interesting.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Huh.
Marc:Yeah, there you go.
Guest:She'd hate me.
Guest:No, she wouldn't.
Guest:Oh, no.
Marc:She likes people, but it's just sort of like in her mind, because of her feelings about her self-image or whatever it was, she assumes that you must be just feeling as bad as her.
Guest:Interesting.
Marc:Maybe.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I don't think about it too much.
Marc:Huh.
Marc:I just worry about my own fucking dumb food things.
Guest:I mean, sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm like, oh boy, I don't like this today.
Guest:But then I'll put on a bunch of makeup and put on a fun outfit and be like, that was dumb earlier.
Marc:You look really fun.
Marc:So when did, so the classes, who was teaching there?
Marc:Who were the people when you were there at UCB?
Marc:You went through the whole thing?
Guest:Yeah, so Sylvia Ozels, she was my first teacher.
Guest:Kevin Hines was another teacher.
Guest:Porter Mason was another teacher.
Guest:Shannon O'Neill.
Guest:Chris Gwynn.
Marc:Who was in your classes, people we know?
Guest:No, not really.
Guest:I don't think any of those people perform anymore.
Guest:But I did meet Sashir through UCB.
Guest:Sylvia, my 101 teacher and my 301 teacher had to put together a group of women from different levels.
Guest:And she had me and Sashir there.
Guest:And I remember performing with her and I was like, boy, she's cool.
Guest:Oh, boy.
Guest:And she's funny.
Guest:I want to make her my friend.
Guest:Which is now it feels insane that I was like, I'm going to make this woman my friend.
Guest:And then I did it.
Marc:Yeah, I've done that before.
Marc:You probably get one out of five.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:The other four are like, oh, here she comes.
Guest:Oh, God, Nicole's here again, and she's so happy about it.
Marc:She's gonna wanna talk to us.
Guest:Oh, she loves talking and smiling.
Guest:I don't want it.
Guest:But yeah, Sashir liked it.
Guest:But you got Sashir, good.
Guest:It stuck.
Guest:She's the best.
Marc:Did you guys improvise a lot together?
Guest:Yeah, we had a group called Doppelganger.
Guest:It was me, Sashir, and another woman, Keisha Zahler.
Guest:And yeah, we performed a lot for years and years and years.
Guest:And we traveled and did festivals and stuff.
Marc:With the UCB?
Marc:No, so like- Oh, you were an act.
Guest:Yeah, we were a traveling improv act, which sounds insane.
Guest:The doppelgangers?
Guest:Uh-huh, doppelganger.
Guest:We would go to Canada and stuff for Canadian festivals.
Marc:So that was your first touring stage work?
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Marc:And you would do mostly sketch festivals, or what were they?
Guest:We would do improv festivals.
Marc:Oh, wow.
Marc:I didn't even know they existed.
Marc:Of course they did.
Yeah.
Guest:yeah the one we went but they weren't competitions no but we did win best of the fest at one of them i think that was the vancouver improv festival i don't know if that still happens i like vancouver i like vancouver too it's a nice friendly town very friendly yeah almost too friendly sort of like what's going on here a little bit yeah a little bit i just i i think i do a joke up there it looks like the whole city was built out of a kit
Marc:that's funny because yeah it does it's just like adorable and perfect yeah like modern general modern architecture yeah yeah so okay so you improv for a while and are you auditioning do you start to get stuff
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I was auditioning.
Guest:Then the first thing I got was this Nestle commercial for Israeli Nestle.
Guest:And they flew me to Romania to shoot it.
Guest:And it was like a five thousand dollar buyout.
Guest:And I was like, five thousand dollars.
Marc:And a trip to Romania.
Guest:It was wild.
Guest:Romania is crazy.
Guest:I mean, not crazy, but it was like my first time out of the country.
Guest:So it was crazy to me.
Guest:I got picked up in a Mercedes.
Guest:I didn't realize that there's so much cheaper over there.
Guest:I was like, this is cloth seats in a Mercedes.
Guest:This is crazy.
Guest:What kind of Mercedes is this?
Marc:This seems like a Mercedes I could afford.
Guest:And I remember they had to put me in a harness to make it look like I was flying.
Guest:And the stuntman was like, hello.
Guest:I mean, is it racist if I do his accent?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:What can I do?
Marc:No, I mean, I don't think so.
Marc:I don't think enough people know a Romanian accent.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:And I'm probably doing a bad one, but he was like, hello.
Guest:I put the biggest man I could find in this harness and hoisted him up so I know it was ready for you.
Guest:He was smaller than you, but I told you.
Guest:don't think you'll fall.
Guest:And I was like, wow, thank you.
Guest:I didn't need to know any of that.
Marc:Thanks for the self-esteem boost.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:There you go.
Marc:You're in the harness.
Guest:But also I was bigger than everybody in Romania.
Guest:They are small people.
Marc:I didn't know that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Everyone was so tiny and I was like, boy, oh boy.
Guest:But also I have a bad death reception problem.
Guest:So maybe I wasn't as big as I thought I was.
Guest:I thought I was five, seven until this year.
Guest:I'm five, five.
Marc:A five-five.
Guest:Yeah, two holes are shorter.
Marc:So what were you doing in the harness?
Guest:Oh, swinging around like a fairy, and they used fishing wire to maneuver me around, and I had to help a little bit.
Marc:How's that not on the internet?
Guest:I don't think it is.
Guest:I had it on my YouTube page and I thought it was private for a very long time.
Guest:And I was sitting with my friend and he was like, it's not private.
Guest:He's like, it's not private at all.
Guest:He's like, look at all the views.
Guest:And I was like, oh no.
Guest:So then I made it private because I was like, I don't need the world to see this.
Guest:And then I got... It's a wild commercial.
Guest:It's truly wild.
Guest:And then one of the very first TV jobs I got, I was reading little...
Guest:There was a website called Jest or Jax or something.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Like little comedy videos here and there.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Josh?
Marc:Josh.
Marc:Josh.
Guest:Josh.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I remember when they started that.
Marc:It was like they tried to get everybody on board.
Marc:I remember they approached everybody.
Marc:Reggie Watts, Sarah Silverman.
Marc:Those were like the core people.
Marc:But did it go anywhere?
Guest:I don't remember it.
Marc:Josh.
Guest:It was around for a little bit, and then it went away.
Guest:I don't know if any of those videos still exist.
Marc:I remember there was meetings.
Marc:Because I noticed that about a lot of the stuff you do.
Marc:You're definitely of the age of new media business.
Marc:But I remember Jash was the first sort of like, they were trying to make a comedy content mill.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:That was like Funny or Die.
Marc:I don't know which was first or what.
Guest:I think Jash was first, and then College Humor, and then Funny or Die.
Marc:Right, because Jash just sort of like didn't...
Guest:Yeah, I don't think they ever really found their footing.
Guest:Right, right.
Marc:But I remember I went to a meeting there.
Marc:They had a building.
Marc:They had money at the beginning.
Marc:Right?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So you did stuff for them?
Guest:Yeah, a couple videos here and there.
Guest:Then UCB, we would do videos.
Guest:And then me and Sasheer did videos.
Guest:And then I got just a real bit part on 30 Rock, and I was like, she's arrived!
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Uh, truly I'm in the tag of an episode.
Guest:So like you blank, you'll miss it.
Guest:Like my grandmother was like, you're excited about that.
Guest:And I was like, bitch.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Um, and then I got girl code on MTV and then things started happening.
Marc:That was it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That was one of those talking head ones.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Where, uh, it was girls talking.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Girls talking about like periods or like, Oh my God, when, when is he your boyfriend?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Uh, yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Themes that never go bad, that never go away.
Guest:Correct.
Marc:Always a constant.
Guest:Universal themes that never expire.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:So you were one among many?
Guest:Yeah, there was 10 of us, I think, something like that.
Guest:And I auditioned for it and I didn't, I like watch an episode of Guy Code to be like, okay, I get the show and I was like, I don't know what this audition is going to be like because it's just talking.
Guest:So then I did the audition and I was talking and I was like, I think I did bad.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then my manager called and was like, no, you got it.
Guest:And I was like, oh, OK.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I had moved to L.A.
Guest:at that point.
Guest:For whatever reason, they flew me back to New York to shoot it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:We just sat in front of a green screen.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And there are green screens in L.A.
Marc:Sure.
Guest:They said, no, thank you.
Marc:MTV was in L.A.
Guest:Well, there's one in Santa Monica.
Guest:There's an office there, but they flew me all the way to New York.
Marc:They might have been competing, the two offices.
Guest:Maybe.
Marc:That was cast out of New York.
Guest:Maybe.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:You never know.
Guest:Who knows?
Marc:How long was that gone?
Marc:For what?
Guest:I think maybe two, three years.
Marc:So you'd do a bunch and they'd put it in the can and then you'd never know.
Marc:It'd just show up in different episodes.
Guest:Yeah, and you never knew what you said would make it into what episode.
Marc:Sure, but you were picking up some traction.
Guest:Uh-huh, a little bit of traction.
Guest:I didn't know how many episodes I was doing because I never asked questions.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I booked this one Comedy Central commercial where they were like, meet us at 54th and Broadway or 8th or whatever and get in this van and we'll take you upstate and that's what we're shooting.
Guest:I didn't ask a single question.
Marc:You didn't even know if it was Comedy Central?
Guest:No.
Guest:Who knows?
Guest:I was like, you could murder somebody this way.
Marc:Like, what?
Marc:They do.
Marc:They do murder people that way.
Guest:But yeah, didn't ask a single question.
Guest:And finally, I was like, how many episodes am I doing?
Guest:They're like, all of them.
Guest:And I was like, really?
Guest:Oh, wow.
Guest:That's a treat.
Guest:I like this.
Marc:This is MTV for no money.
Guest:I mean.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You did all right, though.
Marc:No.
Marc:It's not an unknown thing.
Guest:I mean, it's wild how little they pay.
Guest:I don't want to shit on them because they did give me an opportunity.
Marc:But that's what they hang over you.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:They're like, it's exposure.
Guest:And you're like, okay.
Guest:And I did say in one episode, I was like, it's funny.
Guest:I'm on television and I still babysit to pay my bills.
Guest:And they thought that was funny and left that in an episode.
Guest:I was like, I don't think that's funny.
Marc:It sucks.
Marc:It's not good.
Marc:It doesn't make you look good.
Guest:No.
Marc:The network.
No.
Guest:Yeah, I babysat for a very long time.
Marc:That was 2013.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I have no idea what happened.
Marc:Again, the age difference is enough for me.
Marc:I don't even know what was on MTV in 2013.
Guest:Oh, you got your teen moms.
Guest:You got your Jersey Shore.
Guest:Uh-oh.
Guest:Ridiculousness.
Marc:No music anymore.
Guest:No, it's gone.
Guest:It's been gone.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Sorry about it.
Marc:No, I know.
Marc:I know.
Marc:But by the time you were there, there was no music.
Marc:No music.
Marc:All funny, weird reality shows.
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Marc:So what happens after... How do you start... Do you start getting recognized on the street and stuff?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Right.
Guest:Which was very, very, very strange.
Guest:People were like, I know you from Coco.
Guest:And I'd be like, oh, my God.
Guest:Okay, hi.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then people would be like, I want a picture.
Guest:And I didn't realize how...
Guest:excited people get when they see someone from TV.
Guest:It was overwhelming at first.
Marc:People were shaking in front of you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I started doing stand-up specifically because colleges were like, oh, this is a popular show.
Guest:Kids like it.
Guest:The cast members could come do stand-up.
Guest:And I was like, I could do sketch and improv.
Guest:And my manager at the time was like, no, learn how to do stand-up.
Guest:Who was your manager?
Guest:Oh, this person I do not work with anymore.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:It ended poorly.
Guest:But the one good thing he did say to me was like, people are offering you money and it's as if you're not walking to the table to pick it up.
Guest:So learn how to do it.
Guest:And he's like, and if you don't love doing it, you don't have to do it.
Guest:But like, you might like it.
Guest:You like performing.
Guest:I was like, okay.
Marc:And it's colleges.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So, yeah.
Guest:And he kind of, I don't want to say you can be shitty at a college, but there's a little bit of a grace period.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Because it's like, I was 22, 23, they're 18, we're kind of at the same pinnacles of our life.
Marc:Right, and also, like, those crowds, a lot of them are too young to go out and do other things.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And sometimes their lunchtime shows are weird, and they don't really know.
Marc:They're like newbies to life, and it's their first time away, so there was a vulnerability there.
Marc:They're not gonna boo you.
Guest:No.
Guest:But some of them do.
Guest:I've had some real bad shows.
Marc:Really, because of what, bad eggs in the audience?
Guest:just they're just like we don't want jokes we want you to talk to us like uh it was i think it was louisiana and we did a show there where they just weren't into jokes and then i did some crowd work had a kid come on stage they like love that and i was like can i go back to my material they're like whatever went back to material they're like no so then i was like oh i'll just talk to you then and then they loved that so it's like you just got to figure it out sometimes it's crowd work so wait did you go out and do clubs
Guest:So I started doing colleges and then I started doing clubs.
Guest:And clubs are where- Do you like it?
Guest:Stand up?
Guest:I do.
Guest:I do.
Guest:I don't love a club.
Guest:In the beginning, I think I still have PTSD from the beginning of doing it because real adults didn't know who I was.
Guest:So it was just people coming to see whatever comic is there for the weekend.
Marc:Yeah, I know how that works.
Guest:And sometimes when you're in a Republican city-
Guest:And some, you know, like white Republican people will go, oh, I don't want to hear the opinions of a black woman whose opinion agent has a point of view or whatever.
Guest:And I would get heckled by them sometimes and like get like I got into an altercation with a couple of people where I'm like, what is it?
Guest:Is it you don't like me?
Guest:No.
Guest:Great.
Guest:You can leave.
Guest:No.
Guest:Oh, well, we're at a crossroads here.
Guest:You don't want to leave.
Guest:I don't want you here.
Guest:You have to go.
Guest:And then it's like, I got to spend my set yelling at people.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:But you couldn't get to the they wouldn't cop to what the hell the problem was.
Guest:Well, there was one incident where I knew if I brought up money with this man, it would really make him angry.
Guest:I said, I make too much money to deal with you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You have to go.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then he finally left.
Guest:And then I asked the manager, I was like, did he bring up money again?
Guest:And she was like, he did.
Guest:I was like, did he call me a slayer?
Guest:She was like, he did.
Guest:And I was like, yeah, it's exactly what I thought it was.
Guest:So dealing with that early on was a lot.
Marc:And you could tell which towns.
Marc:It was definitely a regional thing.
Marc:So you do the colleges and you do a lot of them.
Marc:And then the manager's sort of like, well, I can get you on the road.
Marc:So you're headlining.
Guest:Headlining.
Guest:Probably at the point where I shouldn't have been headlining.
Marc:Well, you probably got like, what, 40 minutes maybe?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then you stretch in, you try to do different things.
Guest:It was hard.
Marc:Look, at another point in my life, I would have been more critical of that birth into comedy because it was really sort of like the idea, what your manager said about leaving money on the table, if you can pull this off because of your recognition factor.
Marc:But I mean, working for kids and playing with college kids is one thing, but doing the real road is like another thing.
Marc:But it sounds like you learned your lesson somehow.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:I did.
Guest:What I ended up doing, because I was like, huh, these shows go differently than my college shows.
Guest:And I was like, they know me, so they're giving me a little bit of grace with this, where people who don't know me are like, go fuck yourself, bitch.
Guest:This isn't funny.
Guest:So then I would do shows during the week in LA to be like, these people like me.
Guest:Hopefully the people on the road will like me.
Guest:So it was a backwards way to get into it, but I knew at some point I had to get good or figure out
Guest:how to have a point of view and what do I want to say.
Guest:Now I love it.
Guest:Now I love doing stand-up.
Guest:I like doing theaters.
Guest:I did the Wilbur in Boston.
Guest:Yeah, that's a good one.
Guest:Oh, boy.
Guest:What a fucking dream, man.
Guest:It was nice.
Guest:Boston is such a good... I love Boston.
Marc:Well, it's a good town.
Marc:I lived there for years.
Marc:I started doing comedy in Boston.
Marc:And, you know, there's...
Marc:It's a weird town.
Marc:It's a little more segregated than you'd think.
Marc:But they have that student population of about a quarter of a million every year, which gives the illusion of a progressive metropolis.
Marc:But there are pretty good dug-in communities there, and people are excited, and it's a good audience town.
Guest:Yeah, I like them.
Guest:I do like some clubs.
Guest:Helium in Portland's really good to me.
Guest:I love them.
Marc:What about Denver?
Marc:You do comedy work?
Guest:Oh, I fucking love comedy work.
Guest:I had some of the best shows in my fucking life.
Guest:People were just so nice.
Marc:It's an electric room.
Guest:Yeah, and you feel the energy.
Guest:It's tight.
Guest:It's so good.
Guest:I mean, the DC improv is also...
Marc:Oh, I haven't been there in a while.
Guest:That's a good room.
Guest:Fucking love that room.
Marc:How about Acme?
Guest:You do Acme?
Guest:Not yet.
Marc:In Minneapolis?
Marc:Uh-uh.
Marc:But you're doing theaters.
Guest:Well, I would like to transition to doing small theaters.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:There's something about somebody paying a little bit extra, and then there's no food minimum.
Guest:And they're there to see you specifically.
Marc:All of them.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:No one's wandering into a theater saying, who's here tonight?
Guest:Who's this bitch?
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Oh, I like her.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So the point of view kind of evolved because it seems like you're a fully sort of formed comedic personality.
Guest:I think so.
Guest:And you either like it or you don't like it.
Guest:And that's fine with me.
Guest:You know, people criticize my special a little bit, but also people seem to really like it.
Marc:What do they say bad about it?
Guest:Oh, they're just like, you're not funny or whatever.
Guest:But also I'm like, did you watch enough that it counted as a view?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Because that's nice.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:Thank you so much.
Marc:So you just keep doing a lot of TV bits here and there.
Marc:And then you had your own show.
Guest:I did.
Guest:I had my own show.
Guest:It's called Loosely Exactly Nicole.
Guest:It was on MTV.
Guest:Then it was on Facebook Watch.
Guest:And about six people watched it.
Guest:But I'm like proud of it.
Guest:I thought it was a very.
Marc:Did you write it with other people?
Guest:Yeah, I had a showrunner and then this guy Christian, he wrote the pilot, co-wrote the pilot.
Guest:And then we had a room and it was fun to be in a room and to learn how that was.
Guest:I learned about titles.
Guest:I thought story editors were like the people who figured out story as opposed to
Guest:No, no, you've just been in a room, and now that's your title bump.
Guest:So I learned about that.
Guest:I learned how to break story.
Guest:I learned how to outline.
Guest:I learned when you go off on script and stuff.
Guest:It was really, really interesting and fun.
Guest:It's like an education.
Guest:Yeah, it's like class.
Guest:I really loved it.
Marc:But it's interesting that it was like Facebook Red.
Marc:Is that what it was?
Guest:Facebook Watch.
Marc:Yeah, like that didn't happen, did it?
Guest:I mean, they had it, but it was really hard to find on Facebook.
Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, there was just all these weird things.
Marc:I remember them coming up and being like, well, this is the new thing.
Marc:It's like, is it though?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, I feel like everyone said that about Netflix and Netflix was like, we're here to stay.
Marc:Well, Netflix, like it was, did they say that about Netflix?
Guest:I feel like people were like, no, Netflix streamer, whatever.
Marc:I was just excited when they switched totally to streaming.
Marc:It just sort of evolved.
Marc:I just remember I was excited to be able to rent DVDs.
Guest:Me too.
Guest:It was nice.
Guest:They come right to your house.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:That's nice.
Marc:It's interesting because I can't really remember what the transition to streaming felt like.
Guest:I feel like it was just a lot of people being like, I don't know.
Marc:It's just a day where you're like, all right, so now it's just on the TV?
Guest:Yeah, it's like, you just turn it on, it's there.
Guest:Yeah, you just look for it.
Guest:Well, not on the TV, it was on the computer.
Marc:Right, the computer.
Guest:Right, because it was the computer first.
Guest:That's true, yeah.
Guest:And then it transitions to be like, you can put it on your TV.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:These monumental shifts in the way we see everything happen, and I'm sort of like, what day was that?
Marc:It was gradual.
Marc:Yeah, it was a weird, gradual thing.
Guest:And now you have a hit show on Netflix.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Which is really fucking cool.
Guest:It's hard.
Guest:It doesn't happen much.
Guest:No, it doesn't.
Guest:And they seem to keep doing it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:People like it.
Guest:It was funny because they were like, it's greenlit.
Guest:We're like, OK.
Guest:And I was like, I don't really know how to host.
Guest:I don't know anything about baking.
Guest:And then the show came out.
Guest:No billboards.
Guest:Nothing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then people just fucking found it.
Guest:I don't know how.
Guest:And then it really snowballed into this like really like it's a thing.
Guest:It's and there's other shows that are definitely like inspired by it, which is like really cool.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then I got nominated for an Emmy and I was like, oh, my God.
Guest:So now I get to lose to RuPaul every year, which is honestly very cool.
Marc:Are you friends with RuPaul?
Guest:I mean, we're not like friends, but I've gotten to be on Drag Race and Rue is a very kind person and funny.
Guest:Like just so funny.
Marc:So you do a lot of the acting, but the thing about hosting, it's a very specific thing, it's a skill.
Marc:So you realize at some point, because like when I started doing comedy, when people do, I was talking about this to my producer, there was a time where game show host
Marc:was a specific job in entertainment, on television primarily.
Marc:There was game shows, there was a lot of them.
Marc:Most of them were broadcasters of some kind.
Marc:But now these shows have evolved to a point where the host is half the show.
Marc:Usually they were just driving the thing, and they could be funny, but now it's like, it's all of the... We want you to help shape what this show is.
Guest:Because they had an idea, they just didn't know what they, not how to execute... But you have a guest...
Marc:guest celebrity and you have the regular chef.
Guest:Yes, Jacques Torres.
Marc:Yes, and then you have the people.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:And the celebrity is either going to just chime in or not.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:They're like, I guess I'll do it.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Do I have anything else that day?
Guest:Kind of.
Guest:In the beginning, people were just like, what is this?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And we had more culinary people in the beginning and now it's transitioned to more like
Guest:actors, comics.
Guest:Aesop Ferg was on an episode and he truly was like, I don't know, a friend of mine said this was funny so I came.
Guest:I was like, okay!
Guest:And then he was so fun.
Guest:But yeah, it's been interesting.
Guest:I'm having fun.
Marc:And what about the other one?
Marc:Now you're like, you host another one too?
Guest:Yeah, I host Wipeout with John Cena.
Marc:And that keeps going?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The new season premieres.
Guest:I should know this.
Marc:That's all right.
Marc:But this month.
Marc:But that's one of those ones where people like, all right, you got to make it to the other side.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Without hurting your balls.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:And then, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And it really tries to hurt you.
Guest:And the way some of these people fall, I'm like, oh, boy, will you be OK?
Guest:But it is wild to watch these people do the obstacle course.
Marc:Because there's obstacle course people.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I got a friend.
Marc:That's his thing.
Marc:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:A grown up person.
Marc:He does obstacle courses.
Marc:They have teams and stuff.
Marc:Mud.
Marc:Bikes.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:All that.
Guest:I could never.
Marc:No.
Guest:Too hard.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I asked to do the obstacle course, and they were like, maybe.
Guest:And then I dislocated my ankle, and I was like, this is a sign from whoever's out there that I shouldn't do that.
Marc:No.
Marc:You get to a certain age where it's sort of like, if you're going to hurt yourself, really consider it.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:The older we get, you got to be trained to do shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you got to stretch real fucking good.
Marc:You got to stretch, yeah.
Guest:And then you got to stretch good after.
Marc:I know.
Marc:I worked out this morning.
Marc:I didn't stretch after.
Guest:Oh, no, Mark.
Guest:Oh, no.
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:I don't know what's going to happen.
Guest:You're going to be sore.
Marc:Something's going to happen.
Guest:You're going to be sore tomorrow.
Marc:I'm always sore.
Marc:Always.
Guest:I learned how to do a headstand the other day, and I did not stretch very well afterwards, and now I'm just very sore in the shoulders.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So now you're doing a straight up sitcom.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:The Grandview?
Guest:Grand Crew.
Marc:Grand Crew.
Guest:On NBC.
Marc:It's like a real network.
Marc:I watched a bit of three.
Marc:There's only three up.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Right now.
Marc:And I don't know why Garrett Morris doesn't open all the shows.
Guest:I mean, I don't know either, but... Did you watch him?
Guest:Yeah, I was there.
Guest:I was there when he did it.
Marc:He's funny.
Guest:He's great.
Guest:And very kind and really nice.
Marc:It was a trip, though, the way he delivered that.
Marc:I thought this guy's like, this guy's going to present all of them.
Marc:But that's it.
Marc:Is he out?
Guest:That's it.
Guest:He doesn't come back.
Guest:Maybe he comes back next season.
Guest:I mean, hopefully we get a second season.
Marc:How many have you shot?
Guest:We shot 10.
Guest:And it was great.
Guest:My friend Phil Jackson created it.
Guest:We used to do improv in New York together.
Guest:And...
Guest:It was just surreal to be able to, like, create a fucking network show with, like, a good friend that I came up with.
Guest:And Echo Kellum, who's also on the show, who plays my brother.
Guest:We were on a sketch team for four years together out here.
Guest:And then Carl Tartt, who's also on the show.
Guest:We've done improv together at UCB.
Guest:Aaron Jennings was on the show.
Guest:He was on Loosely Exactly, Nicole, my show on MTV.
Guest:So, like, I knew him a little bit.
Guest:And then Justin Cunningham and Gracie Mercedes I didn't know.
Guest:But, like, truly are great.
Guest:They're just nice people who are nice to work with.
Guest:Everyone's nice.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And are you part of the creator?
Marc:No, no.
Guest:Phil, he created it.
Marc:So you're just cast?
Guest:Yeah, I was cast.
Guest:But he wrote it for me, which is nice.
Marc:Well, yeah, it seems like a fun show where people are just young people going through life.
Guest:going through life learning about love having a good time yeah yeah drinking wine oh who doesn't love wine i drank a lot of wine last night did you yeah how was it it was good but then i got home and i burnt a pizza okay i put it so i forgot i need to put it like if i use parchment paper you gotta put it in the middle and not close to the top where like the fire is the parchment burns
Guest:Oh, it burned and I opened the oven.
Guest:I was like, it's smoky in here.
Guest:And I opened the oven and I was like, the pizza's fully on fire.
Guest:And I was like, oh no, do I have to get a fire extinguisher?
Guest:And I was like, oh no, just turn off the source of the fire and close it so it can't get oxygen to get bigger.
Guest:And then I was like, what are you doing?
Guest:You gotta go sleep.
Yeah.
Guest:You almost burned your house now.
Guest:You gotta go sleep.
Marc:You gotta throw that pizza away.
Guest:You gotta throw it away and go right to bed.
Guest:Your punishment is no pizza.
Marc:No pizza for you.
Guest:You fucked that up.
Marc:So now, are you done with stand-up for the time being or what?
Guest:Well, I was supposed to do a show earlier this month to test out a new hour to go tour with it, but that got canceled because of- The disease.
Guest:Yeah, Amarion or whatever, Omicron, whatever.
Marc:So you have a new hour?
Marc:When was Big Beautiful Weirdo?
Marc:Was that last year or two years ago already?
Guest:I shot that Labor Day of last year.
Marc:And you already got a new hour?
Guest:About, I'd say like 45 minutes.
Marc:Where you been working that out?
Guest:Around town.
Marc:Yeah?
Guest:Yeah, I've been working out like 15 minute increments.
Guest:So like I opened for Nick Kroll and I did 10.
Guest:And then I opened for Tig and then did that 10 again.
Guest:I was like, oh, now it's 15.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then someone else gave me 20 minutes on another show.
Guest:And I was like, oh, okay.
Guest:So now I've like made that 10 is now 20.
Sure.
Guest:And then I've added some to it.
Guest:So I think now it's probably like 25.
Guest:And then I have like a half hour of old stuff that I hadn't.
Marc:Fold it back in.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Until I get like a full hour that I'm happy with.
Marc:Oh, good.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:You don't know when you're going to go.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:It feels weird to be like, come see me.
Guest:Maybe you'll die.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I know.
Marc:I'm about to go out.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I've been doing the store, though, like every night.
Marc:There's some part of me that's sort of like, fuck it.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:I've done all I can.
Guest:Yeah, I mean.
Marc:Are we just going to stay in the house?
Guest:I can't.
Marc:I don't know.
Guest:I guess not.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I get like weird.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I've been doing outside shows.
Marc:Yeah, I didn't do any of those.
Marc:I just wouldn't do it.
Marc:You know, fuck that.
Marc:Well, it just felt like too much of a compromise.
Guest:Sure.
Marc:Even during the peak COVID, I was like, I can't bring myself to, you know, I love comedy.
Marc:I don't care if it's, during COVID, I'm like, I don't know if I'll ever do it again.
Marc:I literally had that thought of like, maybe I'm all better.
Marc:Maybe I don't need this.
Guest:Maybe I don't need to leave my house at night to get on stage in front of people and be like, can you please laugh at me so I can sleep tonight?
Marc:Exactly.
Marc:But the outdoor shows just felt like doing one-nighters like when I was just starting out.
Marc:When you do anything, that's how they felt to me.
Marc:It's like, I'll do anything.
Marc:And I wasn't going to do it.
Guest:Fair.
Marc:And you did it.
Guest:I did them.
Marc:You liked it.
Guest:Yeah, ish.
Guest:Well, I was just like, I need to figure this out and...
Marc:This might be the future.
Guest:Yeah, maybe we're all just going to be outside forever.
Guest:Also, I was, I don't know, I was taking COVID real seriously.
Guest:Because, like, I don't know, I smoke, or I used to smoke.
Guest:I quit.
Guest:Did you?
Marc:Are you lying?
Guest:No.
Marc:Did you just catch yourself in a lot?
Guest:No, I quit.
Marc:Yeah?
Guest:I quit on the third.
Marc:That's probably better.
Marc:I quit years ago.
Guest:Allegedly.
Marc:I was on nicotine lozenges for over a decade.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Marc:I loved them.
Marc:And I haven't smoked in a long time.
Marc:But it's only been a couple years off the nicotine.
Guest:I mean, it is tough.
Guest:I read this book and I was just like, you're addicted.
Guest:That book?
Guest:The book?
Guest:The book, The Easy Way to Quit by Alan Carr.
Guest:You read it.
Guest:I did.
Guest:And it did it.
Guest:It worked.
Guest:I mean, kind of.
Guest:In a way where in the book he's like, people leave and they never want to touch a cigarette again.
Guest:I finished the book and I was like, okay, I get it.
Guest:I would love to touch a cigarette again.
Guest:I would love to fucking smoke, but it's not helpful, not good.
Marc:Yeah, it's no good.
Marc:It's not good for anything.
Guest:No.
Guest:And then people are like, you're stinky.
Guest:I'm like, am I?
Guest:I'm like, yeah.
Guest:I'm like, oh, okay.
Marc:And no one smokes anymore.
Guest:Yeah, it's not cool.
Marc:Nothing.
Marc:Not cool at all.
Guest:It's not cool at all.
Guest:You gotta go smoke outside.
Guest:Vaping's gross.
Guest:Vaping is, yeah, it's not for me.
Marc:What is in that?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:And for whatever reason, I was like, vaping seems worse than an actual cigarette.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So I was like, I'll just keep smoking them.
Guest:But now I don't.
Marc:Good.
Marc:And what did you replace it with?
Guest:Nothing.
Marc:Yeah?
Marc:Are you aggravated?
Marc:How long has it been?
Guest:The third.
Guest:What is today?
Marc:The third?
Guest:Yeah, today's the 10th.
Marc:So seven days?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, so you're just in it.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Guest:Yeah, it's great.
Marc:Well, you're managing pretty well.
Marc:You're doing pretty well.
Guest:Well, it feels insane because I have routines.
Guest:If someone was at my house, we would hang out or whatever, and when they would leave, I would have a cigarette.
Guest:Before bed, I would have a cigarette.
Guest:So now before bed, I'm like,
Guest:What do I do?
Guest:I know.
Guest:I just, like, stare at my wall until I fucking fall asleep.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Well, you tried to eat a pizza, it sounds like.
Guest:I tried.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And then I caught fire.
Marc:You did get smoke going, though.
Marc:I did.
Marc:So just tell me all these.
Marc:How many podcasts did you do?
Marc:Nine?
Guest:Too many.
Guest:So there's Why Won't You Date Me, Best Friends with Sister Zameda, 90 Day Bay with my friend Marcy, where we talk about 90 Day Fiance, and then Newcomers with Lauren Lapkus, where we talk about movies that we haven't seen.
Guest:I just heard some New Jersey.
Guest:Oh.
Guest:We talk.
Guest:It comes out every now and again.
Guest:What are we talking about?
Guest:Yeah, I heard it.
Guest:Are these all weekly?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, so you're busy.
Guest:All right, that's good.
Guest:Are you happy?
Guest:I think I'm happy.
Guest:Who's to say?
Guest:I guess me.
Guest:You.
Guest:You're the last word on that.
Guest:I'm happy.
Marc:Good.
Marc:Well, it was nice meeting you.
Marc:Nice talking to you.
Guest:It was nice talking to you.
Marc:Yay.
Guest:We did it.
Guest:We did it.
Marc:that was nicole always funny always going again her series grand crew is on nbc new episodes on tuesday nights you can see her uh on all the episodes have nailed it on netflix or stand-up special and all her podcasts but it was uh lovely to talk to her
Guest:guitar solo
guitar solo
Guest:Boomer lives.
Guest:Monkey.
Guest:La Fonda.
Guest:Cat angels everywhere.
Boomer lives.
Guest:guitar solo
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Guest:.