Episode 1277 - Felipe Esparza

Episode 1277 • Released November 8, 2021 • Speakers detected

00:00:00Marc:all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck nicks what the fuck buddies what's happening i'm mark maron this is my podcast

00:00:17Marc:Welcome to it.

00:00:18Marc:How's everything out there?

00:00:19Marc:Are you guys okay?

00:00:21Marc:Listen, a couple of things right up front here.

00:00:24Marc:There's going to be a live episode of WTF on Sunday, November 14th in New York City.

00:00:31Marc:And admission is free.

00:00:34Marc:You hear me?

00:00:35Marc:Are you hearing this?

00:00:37Marc:I'll be talking movies with author Jason Bailey, who wrote the new book, Fun City Cinema, New York City and the Movies That Made It.

00:00:46Marc:And we're doing this at the Paris Theater on West 58th Street, the only single screen movie theater left in Manhattan.

00:00:53Marc:All right.

00:00:53Marc:So listen and listen close.

00:00:56Marc:Yeah.

00:00:57Marc:Listen to me and listen close because I'm only saying it once.

00:01:01Marc:I'll say it twice.

00:01:04Marc:At noon Eastern today, we will post the sign up link on the WTF pod Twitter account.

00:01:13Marc:It's going to be first come, first served.

00:01:15Marc:So click that link and sign up before tickets are all gone.

00:01:20Marc:That's WTF pod on Twitter at 12 noon today.

00:01:26Marc:You hear me?

00:01:27Marc:That's for the free live podcast in New York City at the Paris Theater on West 58th Street, November 14th, Sunday.

00:01:36Marc:Bring your coffee.

00:01:38Marc:Get a nice coffee, maybe a bagel or something.

00:01:41Marc:Huh?

00:01:42Marc:Could you toast this a little more?

00:01:44Marc:Could you please toast this a little for a few more minutes?

00:01:48Marc:Could you take this back in and toast it for a few more minutes?

00:01:53Marc:Do you have a cloth napkin that I could put out?

00:01:58Marc:Sorry, working on impression of a specific person that's not a celebrity.

00:02:03Marc:And I was fucking nailing it.

00:02:05Marc:The other thing I want to mention tonight, I'm at Largo here in Los Angeles for the

00:02:11Marc:Last time I will be doing this full set like this, so I don't know if there are tickets or not left, but this is it before I go.

00:02:20Marc:I'm looking forward to going to New York.

00:02:24Marc:I've not been to New York since the plague.

00:02:26Marc:I have no idea what to expect.

00:02:30Marc:If it's anything like Los Angeles, it's going to seem tenuous at best.

00:02:35Marc:Think about that, man.

00:02:38Marc:Fucking year and a half or however long it took, ongoing,

00:02:43Marc:Terror and trauma and fear.

00:02:47Marc:Lockdown.

00:02:49Marc:And we're all jacked in.

00:02:51Marc:We completely acclimate and adapt to a day-to-day engagement with a computer in a way that was life-sustaining.

00:03:01Marc:That was our life.

00:03:03Marc:Streaming.

00:03:05Marc:Zooming.

00:03:06Marc:Reading.

00:03:07Marc:Whatever it is.

00:03:09Marc:whatever rabbit hole you choose, whatever activity you were doing, the Internet became our qualifier.

00:03:17Marc:That's codependent talk.

00:03:19Marc:That's Al-Anon talk.

00:03:20Marc:That's program talk for who you are codependent to, who you are enabling, who you are trying to fix, who you are trying to make behave differently.

00:03:33Marc:The Internet is our qualifier culturally.

00:03:39Marc:We love them, her, it.

00:03:43Marc:Sometimes it's scary.

00:03:46Marc:Sometimes it tells us things we don't want to.

00:03:47Marc:Sometimes it behaves in a bad way and we can't really stop it.

00:03:51Marc:That is who we are codependent.

00:03:52Marc:That is a symbiotic thing.

00:03:54Marc:And it became desperate and essential during lockdown.

00:03:59Marc:So in the middle of all that trauma, in the middle of all that fear, in the middle of being ripped open and facing the unknown...

00:04:07Marc:on a viral level and also on an environmental level we depended on that connection so imagine what it did to our traumatized brains imagine that interface now imagine that i've talked about it before we volunteered for it

00:04:28Marc:Now we're all pimped out by the algorithm and your reality, your sense of reality, your perception is guided and defined by the choices you make streaming, by the choices you make online, by the choices of content that you curate and allow into your brain.

00:04:48Marc:That is the parameters of your perception.

00:04:53Marc:I mean outside is outside.

00:04:55Marc:There's your car.

00:04:57Marc:There's your hose.

00:04:58Marc:Where's your cat?

00:05:00Marc:That's the store.

00:05:02Marc:Be careful.

00:05:04Marc:Fill it up.

00:05:06Marc:You want to take a drive, fill it up, plug it in.

00:05:09Marc:I'm going to cook this thing.

00:05:10Marc:That reality has a context.

00:05:13Marc:That's the reality reality.

00:05:15Marc:Slow going.

00:05:16Marc:But the electrified perception of what you allow into your brain in the form of content or information.

00:05:26Marc:What is the context of your perception?

00:05:28Marc:What are the parameters of your perception?

00:05:30Marc:What are you logging into?

00:05:32Marc:What choices have you made?

00:05:34Marc:That will then enable the great throbbing algorithm to mine your desires.

00:05:41Marc:Your brain is a fucking whore.

00:05:45Marc:Turned out.

00:05:49Marc:You let it happen.

00:05:52Marc:I like the free thinking whores.

00:05:55Marc:Yeah.

00:05:56Marc:You're making all the choices, big boy.

00:05:59Marc:Yep.

00:06:01Marc:Felipe Esparza is on the show today.

00:06:06Marc:He's a comic and people may have seen his standup specials on Netflix or when he won last comic standing.

00:06:13Marc:He's been a regular on Superstore and the Eric Andre show.

00:06:18Marc:Funny guy.

00:06:18Marc:Odd guy.

00:06:20Marc:We'd only met a couple of times, but I was always sort of fascinated with him.

00:06:25Marc:Worked with him once.

00:06:27Marc:Was happy to talk to him.

00:06:29Marc:He's on the Netflix series Gentified.

00:06:32Marc:The second season premieres this Wednesday, November 10th.

00:06:36Marc:He's currently on tour and you can go Felipe's world dot com to see the dates and get tickets.

00:06:42Marc:Also, his podcast is called What's Up Fool.

00:06:44Marc:You can get wherever you get podcasts.

00:06:47Marc:Funny Guy.

00:06:48Guest:So what, do you play anything?

00:06:57Guest:I've been practicing the piano about a keyboard.

00:07:00Guest:Yeah.

00:07:01Guest:So I've been practicing on it and on YouTube.

00:07:05Guest:Yeah.

00:07:06Guest:I watch the colors go down and I know how to play the beginning of Commodore's Easy.

00:07:12Guest:Yeah.

00:07:14Guest:You know what?

00:07:15Guest:I know how to play the beginning of a lot of songs.

00:07:17Guest:Yeah.

00:07:17Guest:Just to fool people.

00:07:18Guest:Sure, man.

00:07:19Marc:When they go like, do you play?

00:07:21Marc:Yeah, I know how to play a little Claire de Lune real quick.

00:07:25Marc:It's amazing on the fucking YouTube that you can just learn anything you want.

00:07:30Marc:Anything.

00:07:31Marc:How old are you, man?

00:07:33Marc:53.

00:07:33Marc:I'm 58.

00:07:34Marc:So when we were kids, you had to go get a guy.

00:07:37Marc:Yeah.

00:07:38Marc:You had to go take a lesson.

00:07:39Guest:Mama, you're gonna find I'm gonna hang out with a mariachi or something.

00:07:43Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:07:44Guest:Well, that's great music.

00:07:46Guest:I knew a guy that was in a regular rock band in Corpus Christi.

00:07:49Guest:He had to work like a bartender.

00:07:50Guest:Yeah.

00:07:51Guest:And he joined a conjunto band.

00:07:52Guest:Yeah.

00:07:53Marc:Well, that's where it all comes from, Texas, man.

00:07:55Marc:He's a drummer?

00:07:56Marc:He's a drummer.

00:07:56Marc:So what have you been doing, man?

00:07:57Marc:I saw you at the airport.

00:07:58Marc:You looked like you were going at it.

00:08:00Guest:I mean, we started touring again.

00:08:02Guest:I have a tour called the Unmasked Tour.

00:08:04Guest:It's going through next year.

00:08:06Guest:Do you do shows in Spanish?

00:08:09Guest:When I was working, I did a Netflix special in Spanish.

00:08:12Marc:I saw that in Spanish, yeah.

00:08:13Marc:And how does that, what do you see in terms of the difference in how many people watch it?

00:08:18Marc:Do you get a bigger audience, I guess?

00:08:21Marc:I haven't noticed.

00:08:21Marc:You don't know.

00:08:22Guest:I get emails.

00:08:23Marc:You can't tell with the Netflix.

00:08:24Guest:Sometimes I get an email from a guy like in Peru.

00:08:26Guest:Hey, Spanish.

00:08:27Guest:Thank you.

00:08:28Guest:I got it.

00:08:30Guest:But the people who saw my English one, they saw the Spanish one, and they like the Spanish one better.

00:08:35Guest:Really?

00:08:36Guest:Do you know why?

00:08:37Guest:Probably because my Spanish is more of a West Coast, you know, Spanish.

00:08:43Guest:Yeah.

00:08:43Guest:West Coast Spanish.

00:08:45Guest:Then the Spanish, they speak in like Spain or Venezuela or Cuba.

00:08:50Marc:Like Mexico.

00:08:51Guest:Yes.

00:08:52Guest:Yeah.

00:08:52Guest:My Spanish is not like Mexico, but...

00:08:54Guest:But because I noticed that the dialect didn't work.

00:08:58Guest:And a lot of Spanish words that I use here in America don't exist in the Spanish language.

00:09:03Guest:Really?

00:09:04Guest:Like we made it up.

00:09:05Guest:Oh, here.

00:09:06Guest:Yeah, like when we say in English, hey, can you fix my breaks?

00:09:09Guest:Yeah.

00:09:10Guest:And if you grew up in Boyle Heights or East Los Angeles, Lincoln Heights, you know, West Coast, Albuquerque.

00:09:16Guest:Yeah.

00:09:17Guest:You say, hey, man, can you fix my breakas?

00:09:19Guest:We had an A-S.

00:09:21Guest:Yeah.

00:09:21Guest:But that word doesn't exist.

00:09:22Guest:The right word is frenos.

00:09:24Guest:Really?

00:09:25Guest:Somebody corrected me in Mexico.

00:09:26Guest:Brecas?

00:09:27Marc:Brecas.

00:09:28Marc:Yeah.

00:09:28Marc:Yeah, I grew up in New Mexico, so I guess it's probably the same Spanish.

00:09:31Marc:Yes.

00:09:32Marc:But you were born in Mexico?

00:09:35Marc:I was born in Mexico, snuck in, fair and square.

00:09:38Guest:Yeah?

00:09:38Guest:How old were you?

00:09:41Guest:Oh, man, I was like four, four or three.

00:09:44Guest:Really?

00:09:45Guest:I remember I was four because when I got to America, I went to kindergarten.

00:09:48Guest:So your whole family come over?

00:09:51Guest:Just my mother, my dad, and my three brothers.

00:09:54Guest:Do you remember it?

00:09:55Guest:Yeah.

00:09:55Guest:My mom, my dad came first.

00:09:58Guest:He came over here because- He snuck in?

00:10:01Guest:Yeah.

00:10:01Guest:We had a family member that were already here, his family members.

00:10:05Guest:And they were like, come on, make the run for it.

00:10:06Guest:Come over here, man.

00:10:07Guest:There's plenty of work.

00:10:08Guest:Most of my dad's cousins and brothers were working for, I think, Warner Brothers Records.

00:10:14Guest:Oh, really?

00:10:14Guest:They were stacking vinyls in the boxes.

00:10:18Guest:Packing the records?

00:10:20Guest:and put it in a machine, and they would put the plastic over it.

00:10:22Marc:So that's like 49 years ago.

00:10:24Guest:Yes, that was like 79.

00:10:25Guest:Oh, wow.

00:10:27Guest:And my dad, we went from, we live in Sinaloa, Mexico, which is like 11 hours from the border.

00:10:35Guest:Oh, my God.

00:10:36Guest:An 11-hour drive.

00:10:37Guest:Way down there.

00:10:38Guest:Way down there.

00:10:39Guest:Yeah.

00:10:40Guest:So we drove, I remember driving when we were little, to Tijuana, Mexico.

00:10:46Guest:My dad's aunt lived there.

00:10:48Guest:Yeah.

00:10:49Guest:My dad's cousins lived there and his sister.

00:10:51Guest:So we moved into our... My mom and my brother, five of us, we moved into a house.

00:10:57Guest:They already had like seven kids.

00:10:59Guest:In Tijuana.

00:11:00Guest:In Tijuana.

00:11:01Guest:So now there's 12 kids and there's like three parents in one house, two-bedroom house.

00:11:08Guest:Oh, my God.

00:11:09Guest:We stood there for two weeks.

00:11:11Guest:And these are your cousins?

00:11:12Guest:Yes.

00:11:12Yes.

00:11:13Guest:And we crossed the border with... I remember this as a little kid, but we crossed the border and we got caught.

00:11:21Guest:Yeah.

00:11:22Guest:Like, we made it out of the way to San Clemente, but they had their own thing going on back then.

00:11:30Guest:Like, I don't know, maybe it was the Alley County Sheriff's or Manit Man, but they had a border patrol stop there too.

00:11:35Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:11:36Guest:Like the, ah, you think you made it?

00:11:38Guest:No, you didn't.

00:11:39Guest:Check this out.

00:11:40Guest:We had another one.

00:11:41Guest:So we got pulled over there and we were put in like a little jail.

00:11:46Marc:In San Clemente.

00:11:47Guest:Yeah.

00:11:48Guest:And then we got deported.

00:11:49Guest:My aunt, who lived in San Jacinto, California, she came to go visit us.

00:11:53Guest:Yeah.

00:11:54Guest:And I don't know what these adults plotted when we were asleep, but they came to us and they said we're going to cross the border in two weeks.

00:12:04Guest:And they told my little brother to...

00:12:06Guest:They gave my brother an identity already at one or two years old.

00:12:10Guest:Yeah.

00:12:11Guest:What, they gave him papers?

00:12:12Guest:Yes.

00:12:12Guest:So he had to dress up like a little girl.

00:12:15Guest:Oh, no.

00:12:15Guest:Yeah.

00:12:15Guest:And his name was Patti.

00:12:16Guest:Yeah.

00:12:17Guest:And I talk about it in my second special, but yeah.

00:12:21Guest:Which special?

00:12:21Guest:What's that one called?

00:12:22Guest:That's called Translate This.

00:12:24Guest:That one, my wife and I, we produced it ourselves.

00:12:26Guest:But my little brother was dressed like a little girl with my aunt.

00:12:30Guest:My aunt dressed him like a little girl, and he wore a little dress, and then he practiced his name.

00:12:36Guest:He wore the dress for about a week.

00:12:39Guest:And we get to the border, and the border patrol asked him, what's your name?

00:12:43Guest:He says his name, and we get in.

00:12:47Guest:Yeah, he said Patty?

00:12:48Guest:He said, what's your name, boy?

00:12:50Guest:Me llamo Patty.

00:12:53Guest:And my brother's gay now, but you know.

00:12:55Guest:I don't think that did it.

00:12:57Guest:No.

00:12:59Marc:But that was your ticket, huh?

00:13:00Marc:That was our ticket.

00:13:01Marc:We've been here ever since.

00:13:03Marc:I have no understanding how that works.

00:13:06Marc:We get here, right?

00:13:07Guest:But we don't just cross the border and go home somewhere.

00:13:11Guest:Whoever was driving us took us to Carson, California.

00:13:15Guest:Yeah.

00:13:16Guest:And there, there was like a house.

00:13:17Marc:Right.

00:13:17Guest:And there was like a lot of families, not just us.

00:13:19Guest:Yeah.

00:13:20Guest:In different rooms.

00:13:21Guest:Yeah.

00:13:21Guest:And I guess they're waiting for their money.

00:13:23Guest:Yeah.

00:13:24Guest:And if you don't get their money, you know, I don't know what they do.

00:13:26Marc:Oh, you mean the- The hub.

00:13:27Marc:Yeah.

00:13:27Marc:So the guys who took you across.

00:13:29Marc:Yeah.

00:13:30Marc:The mules or whatever you call them.

00:13:32Marc:Coyotes.

00:13:33Marc:What are they called?

00:13:34Marc:Coyotes.

00:13:35Marc:Mules are drug guys, right?

00:13:37Marc:Yes.

00:13:37Marc:Right.

00:13:38Marc:So you got to pay them.

00:13:39Marc:So that's where that happens.

00:13:40Marc:Yes.

00:13:41Marc:Yeah.

00:13:41Marc:So a lot of people meet family members who have the bread.

00:13:44Yeah.

00:13:44Guest:Yes, there's a lot of immigrants.

00:13:47Guest:We have our own taxi service, bootleg.

00:13:50Guest:My grandmother, she had a visa, and she would come visit us from Tuxpan, Nayarit, which is, that's even a 20-hour drive from the United States.

00:14:01Guest:23-hour drive.

00:14:03Guest:And she would just, she would go to the United States,

00:14:07Guest:And then right there on Los Angeles and Third Street, there used to be a Greyhound station, but now it's on Santa Fe.

00:14:15Guest:Yeah.

00:14:15Guest:There's all kinds of bootleg gypsy cabs from Mexico.

00:14:21Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:14:22Guest:And then my grandmother will just talk to a guy and goes, I'm going to Tuxpan Nayarit.

00:14:26Guest:How much is it to take me all the way home?

00:14:28Guest:And that driver will just drive her from Los Angeles all the way to Mexico.

00:14:33Guest:For 20 hours?

00:14:34Guest:For 20 hours.

00:14:35Guest:And along the way, he'll pick up another person.

00:14:37Guest:Yeah.

00:14:38Guest:And just along the way.

00:14:39Guest:So he's picking up people along the way in his little car.

00:14:41Guest:Yeah.

00:14:41Guest:And then he'll just hustle his way back to America.

00:14:45Guest:Wow.

00:14:45Guest:So my mom, I don't know how she did it, but she knew this taxi service.

00:14:49Marc:So when you get here...

00:14:50Marc:In that situation, how long are you afraid or undocumented?

00:14:54Marc:How long does that happen?

00:14:55Marc:I was little, so I don't remember.

00:14:57Marc:I was just told, run home after school.

00:14:59Guest:Do you eventually get to citizenship?

00:15:02Guest:Yes.

00:15:04Guest:My father got his green card.

00:15:07Guest:He settled.

00:15:09Guest:He had a visa.

00:15:10Guest:Working at Warner Brothers?

00:15:12Guest:Working at Pike University.

00:15:14Guest:He was a welder.

00:15:16Guest:Oh, okay.

00:15:16Guest:He worked for this metal shop place.

00:15:18Guest:My mom later on told me that they were working for federal projects.

00:15:24Guest:And then we got our papers also in 1981.

00:15:27Guest:And that was it?

00:15:29Guest:Yeah.

00:15:31Guest:My mom and dad are American citizens now.

00:15:33Guest:And my dad took his citizenship class test in Spanish.

00:15:37Guest:Yeah.

00:15:38Guest:Because he's been here over 25 years.

00:15:40Guest:So when you're in America for over 25 years, and you go take your citizenship class, and your test, you take it in your own foreign language.

00:15:46Guest:Really?

00:15:47Guest:So my dad's test said,

00:15:56Guest:Yeah.

00:15:56Guest:What are the colors of the stripes of the United States?

00:15:59Guest:Red, white, and blue.

00:15:59Guest:Are they both still alive?

00:16:00Guest:They're both alive.

00:16:01Guest:Yeah?

00:16:02Guest:Are they together?

00:16:03Guest:No, my dad lives in an old folks' home somewhere in East LA.

00:16:06Guest:Oh.

00:16:06Guest:And my mom has, she's living at home with a little Alzheimer's.

00:16:09Guest:Oh, they both have Alzheimer's?

00:16:11Guest:Just my mom.

00:16:11Guest:Yeah?

00:16:12Guest:And do you take care of her?

00:16:13Guest:No, my mom has a nurse that shows up.

00:16:16Guest:Yeah.

00:16:16Guest:And my brother shows up.

00:16:17Guest:Yeah, it's just the two of you?

00:16:19Guest:Yeah.

00:16:19Guest:My brother shows up every other week, every other day.

00:16:23Guest:One of my other brothers lives there.

00:16:25Marc:Oh, so you got two brothers?

00:16:26Guest:Yeah.

00:16:26Guest:Older one?

00:16:28Guest:One brother lives there.

00:16:30Guest:The other one, though, he just visits.

00:16:31Guest:But you got older and younger?

00:16:32Guest:They're all younger.

00:16:33Guest:I'm the oldest.

00:16:34Guest:Oh, yeah?

00:16:35Guest:So when you get here- Party.

00:16:36Guest:Huh?

00:16:37Guest:Party visits.

00:16:39Yeah.

00:16:39Marc:When you get here, so you grew up the whole time in Los Angeles?

00:16:43Marc:Yeah, Boyle Heights.

00:16:44Marc:Boyle Heights.

00:16:45Marc:And what was it like coming up?

00:16:47Marc:So you're here since you're four years old.

00:16:51Marc:I watched some of the special, and it sounds like it was pretty gnarly, pretty heavy.

00:16:56Guest:Yeah.

00:16:57Guest:We lived in different parts.

00:16:58Guest:We first lived in Boyle Heights by General Hospital next to the freeway, and then we moved to the west side of

00:17:06Guest:by Olympic and Washington.

00:17:08Guest:Yeah.

00:17:08Guest:And then we moved into the housing projects of Aliso Village, Pico Aliso, Pico Gardens.

00:17:14Guest:How old were you then?

00:17:15Guest:Like five, six.

00:17:16Guest:I went to... I started second grade at Utah Elementary, which was a little elementary inside the housing projects.

00:17:24Guest:Yeah.

00:17:24Marc:Now, were the projects terrible or were they all right?

00:17:26Guest:They were bad, man.

00:17:27Guest:When I was a little kid, it was... I remember when I was...

00:17:32Guest:In fourth grade, we couldn't go outside for recreation or nutrition because there was a shooting outside.

00:17:39Guest:I think there was a Crip gang and Flats gang.

00:17:44Marc:Latino gang and a black gang?

00:17:46Marc:Yes.

00:17:48Marc:That goes on all the time, or used to.

00:17:50Marc:I used to live in Highland Park.

00:17:51Marc:It used to be bad there, I think.

00:17:52Marc:Yeah, it was bad back then.

00:17:53Marc:And when did you like, did your parents stay together the whole time?

00:17:56Guest:Yeah, my parents stood together the whole time.

00:17:58Guest:Really?

00:17:58Guest:They separated like later on when I was an adult.

00:18:01Guest:And then got back together?

00:18:03Guest:No, they're not together no more.

00:18:04Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:18:04Guest:They didn't get divorced or nothing like that because my mom waited for my dad to die and get a social.

00:18:10Yeah.

00:18:10Marc:And that didn't happen.

00:18:12Guest:No, a waiting game now for her.

00:18:15Marc:Didn't work out.

00:18:16Marc:Well, she's not going to remember.

00:18:17Marc:Yeah.

00:18:18Marc:So when did you start?

00:18:20Marc:Because when I watched the special, which one did I watch?

00:18:23Marc:The last one.

00:18:25Marc:What was that called?

00:18:28Marc:Bad Decisions.

00:18:29Marc:Yeah, that's good.

00:18:30Marc:It was really funny.

00:18:30Marc:But it sounds like from the get-go, so all three of you kids are in the house, and it sounds like it's pretty crazy.

00:18:37Marc:Yeah.

00:18:37Marc:But what was it like?

00:18:38Marc:Was it booze or what?

00:18:40Marc:My dad was an alcoholic and he worked all day.

00:18:42Marc:Yeah.

00:18:43Marc:And he came home and drank.

00:18:44Guest:Yeah.

00:18:45Marc:And then yelled.

00:18:46Guest:Yelled.

00:18:46Marc:Yeah.

00:18:47Guest:Beat everybody up.

00:18:48Guest:Yeah.

00:18:50Guest:He to fuck us up.

00:18:51Guest:Yeah.

00:18:52Guest:I remember one time I was, we were living across the street from Pecan Park.

00:18:59Guest:That was before I moved into the project.

00:19:00Guest:Yeah.

00:19:01Guest:But we were still in the same neighborhood but didn't move into the project together.

00:19:04Yeah.

00:19:04Guest:My dad, oh man, I was such a dumbass.

00:19:07Guest:I was playing with a soccer ball, and I kicked it real hard, and I broke our window, our front window, and he just, and my dad was drinking with his friends next door, and right across the street, he was watching me the whole time, and they were all drinking beer, and then he saw me, and I knew it was on, so I ran to the house,

00:19:31Guest:And my dad was trying to find something to beat me with, you know, like a bout or water hose or whatever, right?

00:19:41Guest:And he was drunk, he was mad.

00:19:43Guest:My mom was trying to calm him down, like, hey, calm down.

00:19:45Guest:You know, calm down.

00:19:50Guest:Then my dad, he was freaking out because he couldn't find nothing to hit me with.

00:19:56Guest:So he was trying to unhook the fucking hose from the washing machine, all angry, just to scare me more.

00:20:04Guest:And then my mom tried to stop him, and he just pushed my mom out the way.

00:20:08Guest:And then we just...

00:20:10Guest:I started crying and everybody started crying and he freaked out and he didn't hit me though.

00:20:15Guest:He just ran out.

00:20:16Marc:Everybody started crying.

00:20:16Marc:That was enough of a unified effort.

00:20:20Guest:The tears.

00:20:21Guest:That was the second time I broke the window in a month.

00:20:25Guest:The first time we were playing in the house and

00:20:30Guest:I unscrewed the wooden piece of my mom and dad's bed, like their backboard.

00:20:36Guest:Yeah, headboard.

00:20:37Guest:The headboard.

00:20:38Guest:Yeah.

00:20:38Guest:And it was like a long wooden, it was like a pole.

00:20:41Guest:Yeah.

00:20:42Guest:And I started to hit my brother with it and I threw it at him like a spear.

00:20:45Guest:Yeah.

00:20:46Guest:But it went through the window and it broke.

00:20:47Guest:Yeah.

00:20:48Guest:Yeah.

00:20:48Marc:So that was strike one.

00:20:49Guest:That was strike one.

00:20:50Marc:But I got beat for that one.

00:20:52Marc:Yeah.

00:20:52Marc:So there was just like a lot of beating.

00:20:54Guest:Yeah.

00:20:55Marc:All the kids?

00:20:56Marc:All of them.

00:20:57Marc:And your mom?

00:20:58Guest:Yeah.

00:20:59Marc:Ugh, it's terrible.

00:21:00Guest:Just shoving at first, but then fist.

00:21:02Marc:Yeah?

00:21:02Marc:Yeah.

00:21:03Marc:With the kids or your mom?

00:21:04Marc:My mom, just that one time I talk about in a special that I remember.

00:21:08Marc:That was the one time?

00:21:09Marc:Yeah.

00:21:09Marc:That he choked her and, yeah.

00:21:11Marc:Yeah.

00:21:12Marc:So when did you start checking out?

00:21:14Marc:Checking out what?

00:21:14Marc:Like with drugs.

00:21:16Guest:Oh, I started like late.

00:21:17Guest:I started when I was 19.

00:21:19Guest:But I was drinking at like 16, you know?

00:21:21Guest:I would find a beer.

00:21:22Guest:I was drinking with my friends at night at 40.

00:21:25Guest:Mickey's.

00:21:26Marc:Yeah, sure.

00:21:27Marc:Yeah, high school stuff.

00:21:29Guest:But then in high school, I started drinking more with my friends after school.

00:21:35Guest:But then I started smoking pot when I was 19 at a Christmas party with my friends.

00:21:38Guest:Then I started smoking weed every day.

00:21:40Guest:Then I started...

00:21:44Guest:There was a lot of crack in my neighborhood.

00:21:45Guest:Yeah.

00:21:46Guest:And PCP.

00:21:47Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:21:48Guest:Not so much heroin, just PCP and crack.

00:21:52Guest:That's a rough ride.

00:21:53Guest:And I never touched that stuff.

00:21:54Guest:No.

00:21:55Guest:And a lot of my friends, they were selling it.

00:21:59Guest:Did they like it?

00:22:00Guest:They were selling it.

00:22:00Guest:Yeah.

00:22:01Guest:Because my neighborhood first was known for Thai butter.

00:22:06Guest:It was called Thailand.

00:22:07Guest:Oh, good weed.

00:22:09Guest:Good weed.

00:22:10Guest:It was called the Thailand, my neighborhood.

00:22:12Guest:And they would just saw weed, weed, weed, weed.

00:22:14Guest:Everybody would show up.

00:22:15Guest:But then that changed to crack.

00:22:17Guest:Then it was like zombies all over my neighborhood.

00:22:20Guest:It went down.

00:22:21Guest:You remember them?

00:22:22Guest:Yeah.

00:22:23Guest:It was bad.

00:22:24Guest:You saw a whole family go down, man.

00:22:26Guest:Really?

00:22:27Guest:Yeah, I remember watching... Man, I was standing on the streets and...

00:22:32Guest:I saw a guy show up with a Jeep Cherokee, and then later on...

00:22:40Guest:sold the Jeep Cherokee for $200 to somebody with pink slip.

00:22:44Marc:200 bucks.

00:22:45Guest:And then I saw him two weeks later, same clothes.

00:22:51Guest:Then I saw him on a bicycle with ripped shoes.

00:22:55Guest:And it just kept going worse and worse?

00:22:56Marc:Worse and worse.

00:22:56Marc:And then he was just naked, running down the streets?

00:22:59Marc:Living in a skid row.

00:23:00Marc:Oh, that's too bad.

00:23:01Marc:So it shifted to crack.

00:23:04Marc:But did you do this PCP?

00:23:06Marc:I did.

00:23:06Marc:I did all the stuff.

00:23:07Marc:I did PCP.

00:23:08Marc:I smoked crack.

00:23:09Guest:It's hard to handle that PCP, isn't it?

00:23:11Guest:Yeah.

00:23:12Guest:It's pretty crazy for a while.

00:23:14Guest:Yeah, you think you have Superman strength.

00:23:16Guest:Yeah.

00:23:16Guest:You start biting people's ear off.

00:23:19Guest:Then you smoked a crack?

00:23:20Guest:Yeah.

00:23:21Guest:I smoked a crack when my brother got shot.

00:23:24Guest:Which brother?

00:23:25Guest:My brother Angel.

00:23:26Guest:Not Patty?

00:23:27Guest:No, my brother Angel.

00:23:29Guest:But he was with me when we crossed the border.

00:23:30Guest:Yeah.

00:23:31Guest:All three of you.

00:23:32Guest:Yeah, he was shot.

00:23:34Guest:For being a bad person, you know, there was no Brown Lives Matter for him and he deserves it, you know.

00:23:40Guest:What happened?

00:23:41Guest:Him and his friend, this is from rumors, you know, I don't want to put him in, give him another record, but they were just driving around, doing, looking for a rival gang, you know, trying to buy beer, looking for troubles.

00:23:54Guest:How old was he?

00:23:55Guest:20, probably 20, 21.

00:23:57Guest:And they saw a car, and then they started following a car.

00:24:03Guest:And I don't know who shot first, but they were like in a 20-minute car chase shooting at each other.

00:24:09Guest:Yeah.

00:24:09Guest:But the other car was a sheriff's car.

00:24:12Guest:Yeah.

00:24:14Guest:They were on the cover.

00:24:15Guest:They were dressed with Pendleton's, too.

00:24:16Guest:Yeah.

00:24:17Guest:So my brother was shot, like, in the head, in the mouth, a leg.

00:24:25Marc:Oh, my God.

00:24:26Guest:And he survived, man.

00:24:28Guest:He survived.

00:24:29Guest:Two of his friends passed away.

00:24:33Guest:In that same shootout?

00:24:34Guest:Yeah.

00:24:36Guest:But he survived.

00:24:36Guest:He survived.

00:24:37Guest:How is he now?

00:24:38Guest:He's good, you know.

00:24:39Guest:He walks a little crooked.

00:24:41Guest:Living in Mexico now.

00:24:42Guest:Yeah, but he can talk and everything?

00:24:43Guest:He can talk.

00:24:44Guest:Everything's normal.

00:24:45Guest:As soon as, like...

00:24:46Guest:I remember we went to go visit him in jail.

00:24:51Guest:Not jail, but pretty much jail.

00:24:53Guest:He was in general hospital, county hospital.

00:24:56Guest:Yeah.

00:24:56Guest:But he was like in the jail ward.

00:24:59Guest:In the jail part?

00:24:59Guest:I didn't even know they had that.

00:25:00Guest:Yeah, sure.

00:25:01Guest:So we had to check our IDs.

00:25:02Guest:And we went to go visit him.

00:25:03Guest:His leg was chained to the bed.

00:25:06Guest:Wow.

00:25:07Guest:And he was in a little coma.

00:25:08Guest:But he came out of it.

00:25:10Guest:He was in a wheelchair for a while.

00:25:12Guest:He couldn't move his legs.

00:25:15Guest:I remember Father Greg Boyle, he grew up in our neighborhood.

00:25:20Guest:We grew up in his neighborhood, his church.

00:25:23Guest:So we grew up with him.

00:25:24Guest:We know him since we were little.

00:25:26Guest:Since we were little.

00:25:28Marc:Father Greg Boyle?

00:25:30Marc:Yeah.

00:25:30Marc:Homeboy Industries.

00:25:31Marc:Yeah, Homeboy Industries.

00:25:32Marc:They do all this stuff, right?

00:25:33Marc:Yes.

00:25:33Marc:Bakery too, right?

00:25:34Guest:Yes.

00:25:36Guest:We grew up...

00:25:37Guest:With knowing Father Greg Boyle, he baptized our friends.

00:25:40Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:25:41Guest:He did our first communion.

00:25:42Guest:So your whole life.

00:25:42Guest:He baptized my daughter.

00:25:44Guest:Your whole life you knew.

00:25:44Guest:Yeah, I knew him.

00:25:46Guest:And so he knew how bad we were already.

00:25:50Guest:Yeah.

00:25:50Marc:Yeah.

00:25:51Guest:And what about him and your brother?

00:25:52Guest:So he went to go visit my brother periodically at the hospital.

00:25:56Guest:My brother was the same hospital where Muhammad Ali went for brain injuries.

00:26:01Guest:Yeah.

00:26:02Guest:And Los Amigos, Rancho Los Amigos.

00:26:05Guest:And so my brother, one day he blinked at me.

00:26:08Guest:He goes, hey fool, I can move my legs already.

00:26:12Guest:He goes, don't tell nobody.

00:26:14Guest:I want to stay here for a long time.

00:26:15Guest:I'm going to stay here longer.

00:26:18Guest:He goes.

00:26:18Guest:He was comfortable?

00:26:19Guest:He had good food here.

00:26:20Guest:Yeah.

00:26:21Guest:So one day Father Greg shows up.

00:26:24Guest:and he starts blessing him with holy water, and he does a little cross.

00:26:28Guest:And then Father Greg throws the holy water in his legs, and my brother turns into the exorcist, it burns!

00:26:37Guest:Oh, it burns!

00:26:38Guest:Father Greg freaks out.

00:26:39Marc:That's funny.

00:26:43Marc:Did he go back to Mexico after he recovered or what?

00:26:46Guest:No, after he recovered, he was in the neighborhood with a wheelchair for a while, and still doing his thing in a wheelchair.

00:26:55Marc:What, doing the bad shit?

00:26:56Guest:Yeah.

00:26:57Marc:Was he in a gang?

00:26:58Marc:Is that what it was?

00:26:59Guest:No, he was just a crazy dude, man.

00:27:02Guest:He loved drugs.

00:27:04Guest:He loved drugs?

00:27:06Guest:And my brother was in a wheelchair, man.

00:27:08Guest:He's doing his thing, man.

00:27:11Guest:A handsome guy.

00:27:12Guest:Still having sex in a wheelchair.

00:27:14Guest:He would put girls on top of him and his friends would push him on the stairs.

00:27:19Guest:So the wheels fall off, homie.

00:27:22Guest:Yeah.

00:27:22Guest:And why'd he end up back down in Mexico?

00:27:25Guest:My brother was... Long story short, when I was on Last Comic Standing, they did a thorough background check on all the contestants.

00:27:35Guest:NBC lawyers, private investigators.

00:27:37Guest:So...

00:27:38Guest:I came back with a check on my criminal record.

00:27:42Guest:They said, Felipe, were you arrested recently and you have four bench wards?

00:27:47Guest:I said, no.

00:27:48Guest:Haven't been arrested since probably 91.

00:27:50Guest:And I was a DA reject, so I never went to court.

00:27:55Guest:And he went, wow, wow.

00:27:57Guest:They showed me all these things.

00:27:58Guest:Wow.

00:27:59Guest:That might be my brother.

00:28:01Guest:He probably stole my identity, because he had stolen my other brother's identity too.

00:28:08Guest:So I had to locate his daughter somewhere, and she sent me a photo of him, and I sent it to the private investigator, and he put the name and the photo together.

00:28:19Guest:They didn't match, so they found out it was him after all, and they let me in the show.

00:28:23Marc:Really?

00:28:24Guest:Yeah.

00:28:25Marc:And that's why he had to go to Mexico?

00:28:27Guest:No, because he ended up going to prison, in and out of prison, so they finally got deported.

00:28:31Guest:They deported him.

00:28:32Guest:Oh.

00:28:33Guest:But he had a good job.

00:28:34Guest:He works for AT&T in Mexico.

00:28:37Guest:Yeah, now he's got a good job?

00:28:38Guest:Yeah.

00:28:40Guest:My brother told me that.

00:28:41Guest:I had him on my podcast.

00:28:42Guest:He said that as soon as he got deported, there's a calling center in Mexico for AT&T, and they call Americans.

00:28:50Guest:Yeah.

00:28:51Guest:And then the Spanish speakers, English speakers that don't have to...

00:28:55Guest:that they don't have to teach English to.

00:28:57Guest:Right.

00:28:58Guest:So you got all these thugs getting deported, you know, from MS-13, Flats, 18th Street, and they're all Mexican, so why not work at a calling center?

00:29:07Guest:So my brother all day calls people and tells them about their phone and hooks them up.

00:29:13Marc:So there's all these criminals and murderers?

00:29:15Guest:Yeah.

00:29:16Marc:Yeah, making the calls.

00:29:17Marc:Well, at least you got a gig, right?

00:29:19Marc:Yeah.

00:29:19Marc:So when does this all start?

00:29:21Marc:So what did you get busted for?

00:29:23Guest:I was busted when I was younger.

00:29:29Guest:I had no job.

00:29:30Guest:I had no money.

00:29:31Guest:There was a drug deal between three guys, and a guy dropped a dope when he ran, and I was happy to be there.

00:29:39Guest:Yeah.

00:29:40Guest:So the cop goes, hey, stop running.

00:29:42Guest:He goes, I wasn't even running.

00:29:44Guest:So the guy found, he found like an ounce and a half, like not even like 20 feet from me.

00:29:49Guest:Yeah.

00:29:50Guest:And those guys had ran.

00:29:51Guest:So it wasn't even your dope.

00:29:53Guest:Yeah, and then they took me for it.

00:29:55Guest:And those guys that I didn't, those guys that I belonged to bailed me out.

00:30:00Guest:Like I was out the next day.

00:30:01Guest:I was out the same day.

00:30:02Guest:The guys that ditched?

00:30:03Guest:Yeah.

00:30:04Guest:They were your friends?

00:30:05Guest:I knew who they were.

00:30:06Guest:I didn't say who they were, but I just, I didn't know who they were.

00:30:08Guest:So that was it?

00:30:09Guest:It didn't stick?

00:30:10Guest:No.

00:30:11Guest:It didn't come up until I went to Canada.

00:30:13Guest:You went to Canada?

00:30:14Guest:For the Montreal Comedy Festival and to open up for Russell Peters.

00:30:18Guest:Oh, it didn't come up?

00:30:19Guest:It didn't come up then, but when I went to travel alone, it showed up.

00:30:23Guest:Really?

00:30:23Guest:And they asked me, you've been arrested?

00:30:24Guest:And I always say no because...

00:30:26Guest:If you were not charged or... You don't know if it's gonna come up, you might as well say no.

00:30:31Marc:And then if they find it, they're like, oh yeah, I didn't... Yeah.

00:30:36Guest:DA reject.

00:30:37Guest:What does that mean?

00:30:38Guest:The district attorney of the county rejected the case because it was an unwinnable case.

00:30:45Guest:So that means you were never charged?

00:30:48Guest:I was never charged.

00:30:49Guest:I showed up to court and I saw my name and it was stamped.

00:30:54Guest:No, you can go home.

00:30:54Guest:I don't think that happened to you.

00:30:58Marc:So when you talk about in the specials, it sounds like you had the cocaine problem pretty bad.

00:31:03Marc:Yeah.

00:31:06Marc:Were you doing comedy yet?

00:31:07Yeah.

00:31:07Guest:I stopped when I started doing comedy.

00:31:11Guest:I had like 10 years sober, and then I picked it up again in Bakersfield.

00:31:16Marc:So what's the story?

00:31:18Marc:So when we started talking about drugs, so that was like 19.

00:31:23Marc:So what were you doing?

00:31:24Marc:When did you start doing comedy?

00:31:25Marc:How old were you?

00:31:27Marc:I started doing comedy when I was 24, 25.

00:31:30Marc:So from 19 to 25, you were just kicking around?

00:31:32Marc:Yeah, sober.

00:31:34Marc:Oh, you were sober?

00:31:35Marc:From 24 to 30, I was sober.

00:31:37Marc:From 21 to 31, I was sober, 10 years.

00:31:41Marc:21 to 31?

00:31:42Guest:Yeah.

00:31:42Marc:So you got sober at 21?

00:31:44Guest:Yeah.

00:31:44Marc:Like for real?

00:31:45Guest:Yeah, like nothing.

00:31:46Guest:I was going to church.

00:31:48Guest:With Father Boyle?

00:31:50Guest:Yeah, Father Boyle came to my house, and then he told me about this rehab called Live Again,

00:31:56Guest:Recovery home.

00:31:57Marc:So you were really fucked up.

00:31:58Marc:Yeah.

00:31:59Marc:And this was when you were kind of a kid, though.

00:32:01Marc:Yes.

00:32:02Guest:Like you were 20.

00:32:03Guest:I got into a fight with somebody in the neighborhood.

00:32:05Guest:They were going to jump me.

00:32:06Guest:Yeah.

00:32:06Guest:And he knew.

00:32:07Guest:So maybe you should get away from the neighborhood for a while.

00:32:10Marc:Yeah.

00:32:12Marc:But he seemed to like your family, or he was just good to everybody.

00:32:15Marc:Yes.

00:32:16Marc:My mom wanted to go talk to him, too, though.

00:32:18Marc:Oh, OK.

00:32:18Marc:So you go talk to the priest.

00:32:20Marc:And then the priest comes and talks to you.

00:32:22Marc:Yes.

00:32:22Marc:And then he said, you got to go to rehab.

00:32:24Marc:and you said okay.

00:32:25Marc:Yes.

00:32:26Marc:And then you got straight and you were doing the program and everything.

00:32:29Marc:Yes.

00:32:30Marc:Yeah, for a while.

00:32:31Guest:And then when I was in rehab, we used to have like visitors because our rehab was non-denomination.

00:32:38Guest:Yeah.

00:32:39Guest:So you could be a Muslim, a Jew, or whatever.

00:32:41Guest:Yeah.

00:32:42Guest:Every Sunday everybody goes to their own church.

00:32:44Guest:Yeah, oh right, yeah.

00:32:45Guest:So we had this guy named Tim who lived in the valley.

00:32:51Guest:Yeah.

00:32:51Guest:He was Catholic.

00:32:52Guest:But he was like a brother, you know, kind of like a Nacho Libre type dude.

00:32:56Guest:A brother.

00:32:58Guest:He was not a priest.

00:32:59Guest:He did the bad work for the priest.

00:33:02Guest:So he would go visit us and have programs for the men, you know, other grown men, like activities.

00:33:10Guest:Kind of like self-awareness, you know, like make you think about yourself.

00:33:15Guest:So one day he writes, he tells us,

00:33:18Guest:I want you guys to write down five things you wanted to do when you were little.

00:33:22Guest:Like your goals, what you want to be when you were little.

00:33:25Guest:So we're like a bunch of heroin addicts.

00:33:27Guest:Some guys are 62, 70.

00:33:30Guest:I'm young, crackhead.

00:33:31Guest:All the heroin addicts there look at crackheads like we're losers.

00:33:37Guest:We look at them like they're old.

00:33:38Guest:They ain't gonna make it.

00:33:40Guest:And everybody was writing stuff like Fireman or I wanted to be Superman or I want to be this.

00:33:47Guest:And myself, too.

00:33:48Guest:I wanted to be Superman, too.

00:33:49Guest:Yeah, sure.

00:33:50Guest:I want to be Batman.

00:33:51Guest:And then he looked at it and go, no, no, what you want to be like before you get on drugs?

00:33:55Guest:Like president or astronaut, all.

00:33:58Guest:So everybody sent it back.

00:33:59Guest:So then I wrote on the first one, comedian, go to Italy, stay sober, just four, be happy.

00:34:06Guest:Five, I have no idea.

00:34:07Guest:I just left a blank.

00:34:08Guest:Those four are good.

00:34:09Guest:So that was like the first time I ever wrote down goals.

00:34:12Guest:Yeah.

00:34:13Guest:So he didn't want to see them after that.

00:34:14Guest:He would just keep it.

00:34:15Guest:And he would now you have something to live for.

00:34:18Guest:You know, you have a goal in life.

00:34:19Marc:So why do you want to be a comedian?

00:34:20Marc:Who are you watching?

00:34:22Marc:Like, who are you guys?

00:34:23Marc:Like, what made you want to do that?

00:34:24Guest:We have when I was in high school, somebody was passing around a VHS tape.

00:34:30Guest:Yeah.

00:34:31Guest:of seven hours of comedy.

00:34:34Guest:Just general.

00:34:34Guest:Some of them.

00:34:35Marc:General.

00:34:35Guest:They're all HBO specials.

00:34:36Marc:Yeah, yeah.

00:34:36Guest:It was Paul Rodriguez.

00:34:38Guest:Yeah.

00:34:39Guest:Howie Mandel with a hand, a handbag.

00:34:41Guest:Sure.

00:34:42Guest:And Ronnie Dangerfield's Young Comedian specials.

00:34:44Guest:Yeah.

00:34:45Guest:The one, yeah, the one with Robin Williams hosted.

00:34:48Guest:Uh-huh.

00:34:48Guest:And Robin Williams special and Sam Kinison, Young Comedians.

00:34:52Guest:Oh, really?

00:34:53Guest:Oh, the Dangerfield's Sam Kinison?

00:34:54Guest:Yeah, that one.

00:34:55Guest:And we were watching them all day.

00:34:57Guest:That and we were watching porn too.

00:34:58Guest:Yeah.

00:35:00Guest:And, um...

00:35:01Guest:My friend, Jackie Escalera, he played that album for us.

00:35:07Guest:Which one?

00:35:08Guest:Bill Cosby, my brother Russell, who I sleep with.

00:35:12Guest:And then my other friend, Emilio Garcia, he played...

00:35:17Guest:Richard Pryor, that N-word is crazy, and we memorized that one.

00:35:22Guest:Hey, you can never get an embellish in the project unless you yell out, five black people killing a white woman.

00:35:30Guest:Where's the body?

00:35:31Guest:Yeah, so that one, so we were all into stand-up.

00:35:34Guest:Yeah.

00:35:35Guest:So it was a thing, you and your friends.

00:35:37Guest:And here in California, my brother Angel, he was a gifted kid, by the way, my brother Angel.

00:35:42Guest:The one who got shot?

00:35:43Guest:Yeah, he was a magnet kid, man.

00:35:45Guest:And he used to go to Sierra Park Elementary because he was smart.

00:35:51Guest:And he was away from, he didn't go to the schools in the projects.

00:35:54Guest:So he found out with other kids about the comedy show on KMET on Sundays from 7 o'clock to 9 o'clock.

00:36:05Guest:It was a Dr. Lemento show.

00:36:07Guest:Oh, okay.

00:36:07Guest:And Dr. Lemento, he would wear a top hat.

00:36:10Guest:Yeah.

00:36:10Guest:But it was a radio show, and he would play all the comedies, like George Carlin,

00:36:14Guest:and Weird Al Yankovic.

00:36:17Guest:So we would listen to that too.

00:36:19Guest:You listen to Dr. Demento.

00:36:20Guest:So you guys were comedy freaks.

00:36:21Guest:Yeah, my brother was an angel besides being, he was an exchange student too.

00:36:26Guest:He was?

00:36:27Guest:Like my brother was smart, man.

00:36:28Guest:He knew how to get in and fit in anywhere.

00:36:31Guest:And where was the exchange student?

00:36:33Guest:At the park, at the school, Sierra Park.

00:36:36Guest:He signed up for a foreign exchange program.

00:36:38Guest:Yeah.

00:36:38Guest:Filled out all the application himself.

00:36:40Guest:Yeah.

00:36:41Guest:Just had my mom sign her name.

00:36:42Guest:She didn't speak bad English.

00:36:45Guest:Yeah.

00:36:45Guest:She goes to my mom, Mom, put your signature key.

00:36:49Guest:Put your name here.

00:36:50Guest:So she's just sign it away, sign it away.

00:36:53Guest:And then one day, my brother tells my mom I'm going to need some money.

00:36:58Guest:You know, I'm going to go to Mexico.

00:37:00Guest:What?

00:37:01Guest:Yeah, mom, they have a foreign exchange student.

00:37:04Guest:I'm going to go to Mexico.

00:37:05Guest:I'm going to live in Mexico City for about a week.

00:37:08Guest:And then that kid is going to come live with us.

00:37:11Guest:And man...

00:37:12Guest:My brother went to Mexico, and he told me he didn't have to pay for nothing.

00:37:17Guest:They gave him an allowance.

00:37:19Guest:Yeah.

00:37:20Guest:And he had his own room.

00:37:21Guest:Wow.

00:37:22Guest:And he had to share a room.

00:37:23Guest:He saw pyramids.

00:37:24Guest:He had lobster.

00:37:25Guest:He went to Cancun.

00:37:26Guest:He went to Chiapas.

00:37:28Guest:Yeah.

00:37:28Guest:He traveled.

00:37:29Guest:He got cultured in a Mexican culture.

00:37:32Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:37:33Guest:That we don't know.

00:37:33Guest:For a week.

00:37:34Guest:Yeah.

00:37:34Guest:But then- Did the other kid come?

00:37:37Guest:That kid had to come to our house.

00:37:39Guest:And we live in the housing projects.

00:37:42Guest:Wow.

00:37:42Guest:four bedrooms.

00:37:43Guest:He had to share a room with two other people now.

00:37:47Guest:And we have bunk beds.

00:37:50Guest:He went to the bottom.

00:37:52Guest:I said, no, motherfucker, you sleep on top.

00:37:54Guest:And this was rich, man.

00:37:57Guest:He always had cash in his pockets.

00:37:59Guest:And he never shared.

00:38:01Guest:He would buy one ice cream.

00:38:02Guest:Yeah.

00:38:03Guest:But he got a different education, huh?

00:38:04Guest:Yeah, man.

00:38:05Guest:He was rich.

00:38:07Guest:It must have been a culture shock to hang around with.

00:38:10Guest:Because I don't think rich Mexicans hang around with poor Mexicans in Mexico.

00:38:15Guest:He did in the States.

00:38:16Guest:Oh, my God, bro.

00:38:18Guest:He went from taking my brother to eat lobster to standing in line to eat free lunch at the park.

00:38:24Yeah.

00:38:27Guest:Did he have a good time, that kid?

00:38:30Guest:Man, I hope he did.

00:38:33Guest:Man, this is a funny thing.

00:38:34Guest:We went to the park, you know, the city park, and they had a city pool and no cutoffs, you know?

00:38:41Guest:And they give you, you gotta put your clothes, you know, that green bag, and they take care of it.

00:38:46Guest:Man, this kid is hanging around with us, and he speaks only Spanish.

00:38:52Guest:And we're at the pool and we're looking around and we're like, where's Javier?

00:38:58Guest:Where's Javier?

00:38:58Guest:And then my friends, oh man, look at that fool over there.

00:39:02Guest:And man, that fool's wearing Speedos, bro.

00:39:06Guest:Speedos, like pretty much, for us it's underwear.

00:39:09Guest:And he's laying on the concrete floor like he's in the Bahamas, bro.

00:39:14Guest:He's doing a tanning commercial, man, like tropical.

00:39:19Guest:And he's laying there, man, like in his head.

00:39:21Guest:He's in Acapulco, man.

00:39:23Guest:Yeah.

00:39:24Guest:How'd that go over?

00:39:25Guest:Not too good.

00:39:26Guest:Everybody's laughing.

00:39:27Guest:Everybody's saying, hey, Javier, what come you're naked?

00:39:30Guest:Yeah.

00:39:32Marc:So you guys are listening to all that comedy, and you're sober.

00:39:37Marc:So when you start at 24, you're sober?

00:39:39Marc:Yes.

00:39:40Marc:And where do you start doing the comedy?

00:39:42Guest:At first, I didn't know how to... At some place called... I forgot the name of it.

00:39:48Guest:It was a coffee shop, and it was vegan.

00:39:51Marc:Oh, yeah.

00:39:53Marc:So it was like an alternative room?

00:39:55Marc:Yes.

00:39:56Marc:So what year is that?

00:39:58Marc:That was like 94.

00:39:59Marc:Oh, yeah?

00:40:00Marc:Yeah.

00:40:00Marc:At a coffee shop.

00:40:01Guest:Yeah.

00:40:02Guest:Who else was there?

00:40:03Guest:Jimmy Kennedy.

00:40:04Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:40:05Guest:Alonzo Bowden.

00:40:06Guest:Yeah.

00:40:06Guest:Freddy Soto.

00:40:07Guest:Huh.

00:40:07Guest:Freddy.

00:40:08Guest:Siente Levine.

00:40:09Guest:Yeah.

00:40:09Guest:All at the coffee shop.

00:40:11Guest:All at the little coffee shop.

00:40:12Guest:It was like punk rock music first.

00:40:14Guest:Yeah.

00:40:15Guest:And then while they're taking down their instruments, two comedians.

00:40:18Guest:Huh.

00:40:18Guest:And then while the other, then a punk band would show up.

00:40:21Guest:Huh.

00:40:21Guest:Wonder what place that was.

00:40:23Guest:It was right there on Fountain Avenue.

00:40:27Guest:And now it's called the Fountain Avenue Theater, but back then it was called something else.

00:40:31Guest:Okay.

00:40:32Guest:And you just put together a set?

00:40:34Guest:Were you telling stories?

00:40:36Guest:Oh, man.

00:40:37Guest:I went to the library, the Los Angeles County Library, and I asked this librarian, this old lady, and then I told her I want to be a comedian, like if she was a career person.

00:40:50Guest:And he goes, I don't know how to write.

00:40:51Guest:Yeah.

00:40:52Guest:So she takes me to these books in the library for comedy writing.

00:40:56Guest:Like some of them were like Steve Allen.

00:40:59Guest:Really?

00:40:59Guest:And one of them was Gene Perez.

00:41:02Guest:Yeah.

00:41:03Guest:Comedy writing step by step by Gene Perez.

00:41:05Guest:Yeah.

00:41:06Guest:So I got that one.

00:41:07Guest:Yeah.

00:41:07Guest:And that one taught me how to write and how to brainstorm comedy.

00:41:11Guest:Really?

00:41:12Guest:Like that guy would say that he used to write for just Johnny Carson and Steve Allen.

00:41:17Guest:Yeah.

00:41:18Yeah.

00:41:18Guest:And these older comedians, man, from the old days, Jack something.

00:41:22Guest:Benny.

00:41:23Guest:Jack Benny.

00:41:23Guest:So he would say- Or Jack Parr.

00:41:26Guest:Jack Parr.

00:41:26Guest:Yeah.

00:41:27Guest:Yeah.

00:41:27Guest:So Jack Parr, he was going to roll with Jack Parr, I guess, because I was reading a book.

00:41:31Guest:So Jack Parr would write a joke about planes or traveling.

00:41:34Guest:Yeah.

00:41:34Guest:So he'll write down columns, like, oh, all the planes that he could think of.

00:41:38Guest:Yeah.

00:41:39Guest:And airlines that he'd been on.

00:41:41Guest:And on this column, he'll write stuff that he heard

00:41:44Guest:airline guests overheard like oh it's too hot in this plane or yeah put the window up all the little things that he remembered things yeah and then um somehow all that he'll come up with the jokes huh by brainstorming and you tried that yeah huh and it worked yes wow sometimes i go back to it when i'm lazy really when i'm going through a brain when i'm going through a i feel like a when i'm bombing mentally you know yeah uh writer's block and um i took the book from the library

00:42:14Guest:and then I learned and I bought it.

00:42:16Guest:Then there was another book called Comedy Ride, something is called Comedy Ride and Secrets by Jean Perrette.

00:42:22Guest:Jean, P-E-R.

00:42:24Guest:It's been around forever.

00:42:25Marc:Yeah, I know, I never heard of it and it's, oh, there it is, Jean Perrette.

00:42:29Marc:I was too cheap to join a comedy class, Judy Brown.

00:42:32Marc:Yeah, Gene Perrette.

00:42:33Marc:Greg Dean.

00:42:35Marc:Oh, what the hell is the name of the book?

00:42:36Marc:Comedy Writing Step by Step.

00:42:38Marc:There's a new comedy writing.

00:42:39Marc:It's a revised edition.

00:42:40Guest:I think his daughter revised it already, just right now.

00:42:43Marc:That's crazy, man.

00:42:44Marc:I never heard of that fucking book.

00:42:46Guest:Yeah, man.

00:42:46Guest:It's basic.

00:42:47Guest:Pretty much did you know how to brainstorm.

00:42:49Guest:I feel like I need it.

00:42:50Guest:I need it.

00:42:51Guest:Yeah.

00:42:52Guest:I always feel like I don't do it right.

00:42:54Guest:Me too.

00:42:56Guest:Or when I hear a comedian write a great joke, I feel like I'm never going to write like that.

00:43:01Marc:Yeah, no, I didn't mean to.

00:43:02Marc:Because I talk, man.

00:43:04Marc:I just talk.

00:43:05Marc:And then it starts to come together.

00:43:07Marc:I don't write jokes down.

00:43:08Marc:And for all these years, every time I hear a joke, I'm like, why the fuck?

00:43:11Marc:Man, I got to get the book.

00:43:12Marc:And then I get a book, and then I don't read the book.

00:43:14Marc:But you read the book.

00:43:15Marc:Yeah.

00:43:16Marc:And it still helped you structure the shit.

00:43:18Marc:Yeah, it helped you structure.

00:43:20Marc:That's crazy, man.

00:43:21Marc:So you got the book, and then you just wrote the act, and then you went on to the place on Fountain?

00:43:25Marc:Yeah.

00:43:25Guest:Yes, I saw it on Ali Weekly and it had like open comedian comedy and they had like all these rooms to do comedy.

00:43:35Marc:So you didn't know anybody?

00:43:37Marc:No, I didn't know anybody.

00:43:38Marc:And you just worked for open mics?

00:43:42Guest:Yes, I didn't want to go alone so I took my friend Rodney Enos and he was like my first friend I took to do comedy.

00:43:50Marc:Yeah, and so you just started hitting those open mics.

00:43:53Guest:Yeah.

00:43:53Marc:Coffee shops, all the other places.

00:43:55Marc:Coffee shops and wherever.

00:43:58Marc:Yeah?

00:43:59Marc:What were you doing, like once or twice a week, three times a week?

00:44:01Guest:I was going up like, that was Monday night, so I would go there Mondays till I got to know people and they told me about Tuesday somewhere.

00:44:08Guest:Right.

00:44:09Guest:And then Wednesday, Thursday.

00:44:11Guest:So who was the crew?

00:44:12Guest:I used to go in the beginning, the beginning, I used to hang around with Jimmy Kennedy and Freddie Soto.

00:44:19Guest:When Freddie was just starting?

00:44:21Guest:Just starting, yeah.

00:44:21Guest:Oh, really?

00:44:22Guest:But they were already funny.

00:44:23Guest:Yeah.

00:44:23Guest:And Alonzo Bowden.

00:44:24Guest:He was just starting too?

00:44:26Marc:I guess right.

00:44:26Marc:I forget.

00:44:27Guest:This is how old Alonzo Bowden was, man.

00:44:29Guest:He used to have a joke about...

00:44:31Guest:He goes, yeah, man, I want to jump for the NFL as a guy holding the cord for the football coach.

00:44:40Guest:You know the cord?

00:44:40Guest:That's the old.

00:44:44Marc:So he was just starting too.

00:44:46Marc:Wow, that group of guys.

00:44:49Marc:And then you just started going out every night.

00:44:52Marc:Yes.

00:44:53Marc:And when did you get a break at a club, ever?

00:44:56Marc:Were you going out?

00:44:57Guest:Oh, in 96.

00:44:58Guest:Yeah.

00:44:59Guest:Somebody told me that they were auditioning for a Latino comedy festival in San Antonio.

00:45:05Guest:And it was going to be Paul Rodriguez and Nelly Galan.

00:45:09Guest:Yeah.

00:45:09Guest:She's a producer of some other show that was on Def Jam.

00:45:13Guest:And Jeff Valdez from Colorado.

00:45:15Guest:I remember that.

00:45:16Guest:He was a producer, too.

00:45:16Guest:Yeah.

00:45:17Guest:And...

00:45:18Guest:They told me about it, um...

00:45:21Guest:that they're looking for comedians.

00:45:23Guest:That lady at that place, Brenda, she told me.

00:45:26Guest:So I didn't know where to go, so I went to audition one day, and they said, I don't know.

00:45:35Guest:So then I saw in the newspaper that they still haven't found comedians.

00:45:40Guest:So they needed a bunch of open casting at the Laugh Factory, so all these Mexican, Cubans, all these Latino comedians show up, and I show up too.

00:45:49Guest:and I do well, and I meet Pat Buckles, and then she was rooting for me to be on the show, and I don't know what a set list is, and she wrote down a set list for me.

00:46:00Guest:She goes, listen, do this joke, this joke, this joke, that joke, and do this joke last.

00:46:04Guest:She's the producer, right?

00:46:05Guest:Mm-hmm, the talent coordinator.

00:46:07Guest:So she wrote down my first set list.

00:46:09Guest:I didn't have a set list back then.

00:46:10Guest:So that wasn't in the book, huh?

00:46:11Guest:No.

00:46:13Marc:You gotta learn that on your own.

00:46:15Marc:It was just writing.

00:46:16Marc:It was on how to get the show.

00:46:17Marc:Yeah.

00:46:18Marc:So she put together the set list?

00:46:20Guest:Yes.

00:46:20Guest:And it worked.

00:46:21Guest:And it worked.

00:46:22Guest:And I was on... I only had like 20 minutes of... Less than 20 minutes of material when I did that show.

00:46:28Guest:Yeah?

00:46:29Guest:And that was... What was it called?

00:46:31Guest:The Latino Laugh Festival on Showtime live from San Antonio, Texas.

00:46:36Guest:There was a big Latin festival, man.

00:46:37Guest:Like...

00:46:38Guest:They have puppeteers from all over the world.

00:46:41Guest:They had these comedians that did comedy in Spanish.

00:46:44Guest:I met Greg Geraldo there, John Mendoza.

00:46:47Guest:Mendoza?

00:46:48Guest:Yeah.

00:46:49Guest:I haven't seen him in a while.

00:46:50Guest:I don't know.

00:46:51Marc:He's a funny guy.

00:46:52Marc:Yeah.

00:46:52Marc:Geraldo was great.

00:46:54Marc:Eric Estrada, Paul Rodriguez.

00:46:56Marc:There you go.

00:46:56Marc:Paul Rodriguez, huh?

00:46:58Marc:But did you do it in Spanish or no?

00:47:00Marc:English.

00:47:00Marc:It was all English.

00:47:00Marc:Oh.

00:47:01Marc:And it went good?

00:47:02Marc:Yeah.

00:47:03Guest:So now you're off and running.

00:47:05Guest:Yes, but I was an open micro who just got a TV show.

00:47:09Guest:Yeah.

00:47:10Guest:Two weeks later, somebody goes, hey, Felipe, you want to go headline with me in Houston, Texas?

00:47:15Guest:I said, what?

00:47:16Guest:What is that?

00:47:17Guest:Yeah.

00:47:18Guest:Then you think you're going to go up second.

00:47:20Guest:Second?

00:47:21Guest:How about I go up first?

00:47:22Guest:You go up second.

00:47:23Guest:He goes, I don't have an hour of material.

00:47:25Guest:He goes, I barely have 20, man.

00:47:27Guest:He goes, yeah, but they're going to pay us like $400 each, and they're going to fly us, and they're going to give us a comedy condo.

00:47:35Guest:And I said, oh, man.

00:47:37Guest:I said, OK, then.

00:47:39Guest:You didn't have that.

00:47:39Guest:You didn't have nothing, man.

00:47:41Guest:I go up there, man, and I went from a live audience that was packed, 200 people for that taping, and then the open mic was like 30 people, 40.

00:47:52Guest:But this is the first time I've been in the audience with seven people.

00:47:56Guest:They didn't know.

00:47:57Marc:So you go in the headline, it's seven people, and neither of you have the time.

00:48:01Guest:They didn't promote it well, and they didn't know who we were.

00:48:03Guest:It was a black comedy club in Houston called Just Joking.

00:48:07Guest:And man, the first night, we saw a bunch of girls coming to the show with a bunch of chicks.

00:48:13Guest:They were standing outside smoking cigarettes.

00:48:16Guest:And we goes, oh man, some hot chicks are gonna come to this show, man.

00:48:18Guest:And then when we go in, nah man, all the waitresses are leaving because there are not enough people for them to work.

00:48:26Guest:So now they were mad-dogging us.

00:48:29Guest:They were giving us dirty looks.

00:48:31Guest:So they were like, so they left and it was just us with one waitress, one bartender.

00:48:37Guest:And the manager, there was nobody there, man.

00:48:40Guest:No crowd.

00:48:41Guest:So, man, I'm done in seven minutes.

00:48:45Guest:So then after that, I started asking, like, where's your favorite tree?

00:48:49Guest:Where are you from?

00:48:51Guest:I get off at 30.

00:48:53Guest:Yeah.

00:48:53Guest:I'm done.

00:48:54Guest:Yeah.

00:48:54Guest:Then the other guy does the same thing.

00:48:56Guest:Like, he's up there asking questions, too.

00:48:58Guest:Just trying to get something going.

00:49:00Guest:Yeah.

00:49:00Guest:And then the last night, it was, man...

00:49:04Guest:It was so empty, I could hear the ice melt and fall down on the beer.

00:49:11Guest:But the second night, we just started laughing, man.

00:49:14Guest:We saw a big old bunch of cases of beer and ice.

00:49:19Guest:We just laughed, like, come on, man.

00:49:21Guest:There's too many people here.

00:49:23Guest:So they paid us.

00:49:25Guest:The guy was paying us in tears.

00:49:28Guest:So he gave us our money.

00:49:30Guest:We leave.

00:49:30Guest:And my friend goes, hey, man, you ever been to a massage parlor?

00:49:35Guest:And I said, never, man.

00:49:37Guest:Never.

00:49:37Guest:OK.

00:49:38Guest:We're going to go to one.

00:49:40Guest:We went to one massage parlor.

00:49:42Guest:And I've never been to a place like this.

00:49:44Guest:And the police are already there.

00:49:46Guest:They're already there?

00:49:47Guest:Yeah, they busted it.

00:49:48Guest:But what do you know?

00:49:50Guest:He goes, and then our captain goes, don't worry about that.

00:49:52Guest:I know a better one.

00:49:53Guest:I know a better one.

00:49:54Guest:So we go there, and it just says Tokyo Studio.

00:49:59Guest:That's it.

00:50:00Guest:And it was blinking, you know, blinking.

00:50:02Guest:It flies all over it, you know, the light.

00:50:04Guest:And we go in there.

00:50:05Guest:It's like a, I don't know, a massage parlor, I guess.

00:50:08Guest:I've never been to one.

00:50:09Guest:So I'm laying there on the bed with my clothes on.

00:50:14Guest:just sitting there, and I didn't take my shoes off or nothing.

00:50:17Guest:Yeah.

00:50:18Guest:And I guess the person that was massaging me, she's just sitting there too, like she's doing all these poses.

00:50:23Guest:Yeah.

00:50:24Guest:But I'm just sitting there.

00:50:26Guest:Waiting for something to happen.

00:50:27Guest:And I didn't give her no money.

00:50:28Guest:Yeah.

00:50:28Guest:I paid her for the massage, but I didn't get no massage.

00:50:31Guest:Yeah.

00:50:32Guest:And I didn't pay for no extra stuff.

00:50:33Guest:Yeah.

00:50:34Guest:So she gave me a hug and a bottle of water.

00:50:36Guest:We didn't do nothing.

00:50:37Guest:Yeah.

00:50:38Guest:And I leave.

00:50:39Guest:Yeah.

00:50:39Guest:And I wait for my friend.

00:50:41Guest:And we started driving back to the condo, and man, I left the keys to the condo, the comedy condo.

00:50:48Guest:At the massage place?

00:50:48Guest:It's locked.

00:50:49Guest:Yeah, I guess so.

00:50:50Guest:Yeah.

00:50:50Guest:So we don't know where to get in.

00:50:52Guest:Yeah.

00:50:53Guest:So my friend says, man, you're a big guy, man.

00:50:56Guest:Yeah.

00:50:56Guest:Kick the door down.

00:50:58Guest:Like Miami Vice, your tubs, and I'll be Crockett.

00:51:01Guest:Okay.

00:51:02Guest:I don't want to kick the door down, man.

00:51:03Guest:Yeah.

00:51:04Guest:He goes, come on, man.

00:51:04Guest:We made our money today.

00:51:05Guest:We'll just fix it tomorrow.

00:51:06Guest:Yeah.

00:51:07Yeah.

00:51:07Guest:We'll go to Home Depot.

00:51:09Guest:We'll fucking fix it.

00:51:10Guest:No problem.

00:51:11Guest:Just kick the door down.

00:51:12Guest:And I don't know if he was like testing me.

00:51:15Guest:Come on, man.

00:51:16Guest:Come on, fool.

00:51:16Guest:Kick the door down.

00:51:18Guest:So I fucking kicked the door down.

00:51:20Guest:And it just, God.

00:51:22Guest:Like when the cops do it.

00:51:24Guest:I kicked the doorknob and the door just flew open.

00:51:27Guest:And then the little short redneck looking Yosemite Sam guy comes running.

00:51:33Guest:What the fuck, man?

00:51:35Guest:And it was the wrong condo we kicked down.

00:51:40Guest:So we're in Texas, man.

00:51:42Guest:This guy could shoot us now.

00:51:43Guest:He could kill us.

00:51:45Guest:And I ran.

00:51:47Guest:I left my friend there.

00:51:49Guest:So then my friend is talking to him, and he goes, hey, man, come back.

00:51:52Guest:It's all good.

00:51:53Guest:It's cool.

00:51:54Guest:It's cool.

00:51:54Guest:And my friend is telling the guy, listen, man, that's my friend.

00:51:58Guest:He kicked down the door.

00:51:59Guest:Yeah.

00:52:00Guest:But we thought this was our condo.

00:52:01Guest:We're staying at the comedy condo over there.

00:52:03Guest:Yeah.

00:52:04Guest:So you guys just go down kicking condos.

00:52:06Guest:And my friend, he knew how to talk.

00:52:07Guest:And this guy is younger than me.

00:52:09Guest:He started comedy when he was 16, I guess.

00:52:13Guest:He's young.

00:52:13Guest:He's been around, though.

00:52:14Guest:He said, listen, man.

00:52:15Guest:I want you to call a police officer right now.

00:52:18Guest:Call the police so they can straighten this out so you can have a police report of the door being kicked down.

00:52:24Guest:I ain't gonna call the police.

00:52:25Guest:I just want this door fixed.

00:52:27Guest:We're gonna fix this door tomorrow, okay?

00:52:30Guest:We are gonna fix this door.

00:52:31Guest:We have cash on us right now.

00:52:32Guest:You want cash?

00:52:34Guest:We're gonna fix this door.

00:52:35Guest:So we started walking around and the guy said, all right, I better fix it.

00:52:40Guest:Then he gave him the phone number and he gives him the address of the worst thing.

00:52:44Guest:Yeah.

00:52:44Guest:And we went back to the condo and- Just kicked that door down too?

00:52:48Guest:The door was unlocked.

00:52:49Guest:We left it unlocked.

00:52:51Guest:And we went in there and we just kept laughing about the guy, how he came out all scared and he didn't shoot us.

00:52:57Guest:Did you fix the door?

00:52:57Guest:No, we flew back home.

00:52:59Yeah.

00:53:02Guest:Yeah.

00:53:02Guest:Who was that comic?

00:53:04Guest:Jeff Garcia.

00:53:05Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:53:06Guest:Yeah.

00:53:06Guest:He was around for a while.

00:53:07Guest:Yeah.

00:53:08Guest:He was cool, man.

00:53:10Guest:That's funny.

00:53:11Guest:It was funny, man.

00:53:13Guest:Come on, doc.

00:53:13Guest:Just take the door down, doc.

00:53:15Marc:Take the door down, doc.

00:53:16Marc:So that was your first headlining gig.

00:53:17Marc:Yeah, man.

00:53:18Marc:So what happened?

00:53:19Marc:So after the headlining gig, so that's like your baptism into the...

00:53:24Marc:bullshit life, and then you come back here, and what, you just start to put the time together?

00:53:29Guest:Yes, I met another comedian at an open mic named Carlos Oscar at the Natural Fudge in open mic.

00:53:38Guest:That was the open mic where I met Jamie, where I started.

00:53:40Guest:And then in Hollywood, they had a comedy show on Hollywood Boulevard

00:53:46Guest:No, on Highland, right there at the Hollywood Hotel.

00:53:48Guest:Yeah.

00:53:49Guest:It was called Comedy Wildos.

00:53:51Guest:Okay.

00:53:51Guest:And it was Wildos, and they paid like 25 bucks.

00:53:54Guest:Yeah.

00:53:55Guest:So I met Willie Barsena there, and Willie Barsena told me about the Laugh Factory.

00:53:59Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:54:01Guest:And he told me about a comedy room they have in Montebello.

00:54:04Guest:Yeah.

00:54:04Guest:So him and I started hanging out.

00:54:07Guest:How's he doing?

00:54:07Guest:He's doing good, man.

00:54:08Guest:Okay.

00:54:09Guest:He's touring.

00:54:11Guest:He tours a lot.

00:54:13Guest:Good.

00:54:13Guest:And he coaches baseball.

00:54:16Guest:Oh, good.

00:54:16Guest:For his kids.

00:54:17Guest:Oh, that's good.

00:54:17Guest:His kids are older now, but he loves baseball.

00:54:20Guest:So Willie Barsena, because the guy I hang around with from now on.

00:54:23Guest:Yeah.

00:54:24Guest:Him, Willie Barsena.

00:54:26Guest:Well, at that point, he knows what's going on.

00:54:28Guest:Yeah, man.

00:54:29Guest:You learned the job.

00:54:30Guest:Yeah, he's doing colleges.

00:54:32Guest:He's showing me check stuff.

00:54:33Guest:I'm like, wow.

00:54:34Guest:And I'm impressed.

00:54:36Guest:One time I wrote a joke, and I just wrote it for him.

00:54:41Guest:He wrote me a check for it, 40 bucks.

00:54:43Guest:I was like, what?

00:54:43Guest:That was my first joke I ever sold.

00:54:45Guest:What was the joke?

00:54:47Guest:It was, I'm Catholic.

00:54:49Guest:I went to confess for stealing a bicycle one time, and Father Greg Boyle told me, did you feel bad about stealing a bike?

00:54:55Guest:Yeah.

00:54:57Guest:Did you give the bike back?

00:54:58Guest:No.

00:54:59Guest:Where's the bike at?

00:55:00Guest:It's right here outside the church.

00:55:03Guest:I don't want to leave it outside, man.

00:55:04Guest:Somebody's going to take it.

00:55:06Guest:So I wrote that joke.

00:55:07Guest:Yeah.

00:55:07Guest:And then I met another comedian, Joy Medina.

00:55:09Guest:Yeah.

00:55:10Guest:He was like a road comic that used to work with Pablo Francisco.

00:55:13Guest:Yeah.

00:55:13Guest:One man, one desire.

00:55:15Guest:So we were all at the Latino night, Pablo Francisco, Luke Torres,

00:55:21Guest:Rudy Moreno.

00:55:23Guest:These guys were like the veterans that they knew.

00:55:27Guest:Man, if you knew these guys, you were going to make money because they had rooms that paid.

00:55:32Guest:They were known in the area.

00:55:34Guest:Steven Steakhouse in City of Commerce.

00:55:38Guest:That was like Rudy Moreno and whenever they need a comedy show.

00:55:42Guest:So they're like one-nighters.

00:55:43Guest:One-nighters, bro.

00:55:44Guest:One-nighters all over the east side.

00:55:46Guest:Wow.

00:55:47Guest:Like all over the east side, Montebello.

00:55:49Guest:And they paid.

00:55:50Guest:San Bernardino, San Clemente, San Diego.

00:55:57Guest:And they all paid.

00:55:58Guest:Visalia, California, Bakersfield.

00:56:00Guest:There's a guy named... So these guys would book them and produce them.

00:56:03Guest:Yeah.

00:56:03Guest:For money.

00:56:04Guest:And there's people that like...

00:56:07Guest:who just started doing Latin comedy in El Centro, a guy named Papa Chulo, and he did stand-up shows for 12 years, and then there's a guy named Leonard Velazquez, and he does Visalia and The Fox, and he's been booking me for 20 years.

00:56:25Marc:And is it mostly Latino audiences?

00:56:27Marc:Yeah, with what Vicelia is.

00:56:29Marc:Yeah.

00:56:29Marc:Wow.

00:56:30Marc:So that's a whole network of fucking shows.

00:56:32Marc:Because I noticed that when I talked to, well, not so much Lopez, but that there's this whole other world, man.

00:56:38Marc:Yeah.

00:56:39Marc:It's like black comedy, too.

00:56:41Marc:It's like there's a million rooms.

00:56:42Marc:You don't know about them.

00:56:42Marc:I don't know about them because I'm not playing them.

00:56:45Marc:And they pay.

00:56:45Marc:Yeah.

00:56:46Marc:I used to do one-nighters in Boston, but it was a different thing.

00:56:49Marc:But I never knew that there was a whole one-nighter thing here.

00:56:51Guest:Yeah, man.

00:56:52Guest:Sounds like a lot.

00:56:52Guest:There was a one-nighter, and man, they played horrible.

00:56:57Guest:It was at the 4th and B in San Diego every Saturday.

00:57:01Guest:They would pay the headliner $200.

00:57:03Guest:They would pay the feature $150.

00:57:05Guest:They would pay the opener $100, so $75.

00:57:09Guest:And the three comedians would get a nice little room in the downtown.

00:57:15Guest:And then when you go to the show,

00:57:16Guest:There is 1,800 people at that show.

00:57:20Guest:Really?

00:57:21Guest:1,800 people.

00:57:23Guest:Holy shit.

00:57:23Guest:1,800 drunk people.

00:57:24Guest:And they're dancing afterwards.

00:57:27Guest:And you have a check that you cannot cash.

00:57:29Guest:Or sometimes they'll mail the check.

00:57:32Guest:So you have no money.

00:57:33Guest:I remember me and this other comedian, man,

00:57:36Guest:We were hanging around with people at the show just to get free drinks and get free food from them.

00:57:42Guest:Yeah.

00:57:44Guest:Like we would get to the club and go, you guys coming in now?

00:57:48Guest:How much it cost to get in?

00:57:49Marc:20 bucks.

00:57:49Marc:I can't.

00:57:50Marc:Yeah, you get ripped off, right?

00:57:51Marc:Yeah.

00:57:53Marc:But you were learning how to do it.

00:57:55Marc:So when did Last Comic Standing happen?

00:57:57Marc:So you're sober this whole time too?

00:58:00Marc:Yeah.

00:58:01Marc:Why did you start doing coke again?

00:58:02Guest:I don't know.

00:58:03Guest:I started freaking out.

00:58:04Guest:After Last Comic Standing?

00:58:07Guest:2002.

00:58:10Guest:Was this after Last Comic Standing?

00:58:12Guest:After Montreal.

00:58:14Guest:In 2005, I went to Montreal Comedy Festival.

00:58:16Marc:When did you do last comedy?

00:58:17Guest:2010.

00:58:19Marc:But I sobered up in 2009.

00:58:21Marc:Okay, wait.

00:58:22Marc:So you get new faces?

00:58:24Marc:Yes, in 2005.

00:58:27Marc:So you've been doing comedy a couple years?

00:58:28Guest:Yeah.

00:58:29Marc:And you're a new face.

00:58:30Marc:Yeah.

00:58:30Marc:And you go up there and you see it all.

00:58:32Guest:Yes.

00:58:32Guest:You see what it looks like.

00:58:33Guest:I've never been there, man.

00:58:35Guest:I was there with the new faces.

00:58:38Guest:Jasper Red.

00:58:39Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:58:40Guest:Natasha Leggero.

00:58:41Guest:Yeah.

00:58:42Guest:and a bunch of other people.

00:58:43Guest:Yeah.

00:58:44Guest:Joe Coy, I think he was the new faces.

00:58:45Guest:Really?

00:58:46Guest:Yeah.

00:58:46Marc:Wow.

00:58:48Marc:It's wild.

00:58:49Marc:We were all kids, huh?

00:58:50Guest:Yeah.

00:58:51Marc:Wow.

00:58:52Marc:So that was 2005.

00:58:54Marc:I wonder if I was up there.

00:58:55Marc:I don't think I was up there.

00:58:57Guest:2005, Greg Geraldo was there, and I think the two comedians from New Zealand got their deal there that year.

00:59:02Marc:Flight of the Concords.

00:59:03Guest:Yes.

00:59:04Guest:Because I saw them walking around, and everybody was all over them.

00:59:06Guest:I thought, what are those guys?

00:59:07Marc:Yeah.

00:59:08Guest:And so what happened?

00:59:09Guest:Why'd you freak out?

00:59:10Guest:Oh, I was doing drugs at Montreal.

00:59:13Guest:Oh, you were?

00:59:14Guest:Yes.

00:59:16Guest:With who?

00:59:16Guest:By myself.

00:59:18Guest:Whoever wanted to get crazy.

00:59:19Guest:Yeah.

00:59:21Guest:So is that where you started doing them again?

00:59:23Guest:No, I started doing it like a month or three months before Montreal.

00:59:26Guest:Yeah.

00:59:26Guest:Somewhere.

00:59:27Guest:Yeah.

00:59:27Guest:Then I just went downhill after that.

00:59:29Guest:Blow?

00:59:30Guest:Yeah.

00:59:31Guest:Crack, too.

00:59:32Guest:Oh, crack.

00:59:32Guest:Just crack.

00:59:33Guest:Oh, you like crack?

00:59:33Guest:Blow and crack.

00:59:34Guest:Whatever's around.

00:59:35Guest:Yeah.

00:59:36Guest:So, 1996, I do that Latino Laugh Festival, okay?

00:59:40Guest:Right.

00:59:41Guest:San Antonio.

00:59:42Guest:San Antonio.

00:59:43Guest:Jeff Valdes sells it to CBS somehow.

00:59:46Guest:Yeah.

00:59:46Guest:They're airing it on CBS at 3 in the morning.

00:59:49Guest:Yeah.

00:59:49Guest:Comedians find out about it.

00:59:51Guest:Next thing you know, Cygafster gets involved.

00:59:54Guest:They send me a check.

00:59:55Guest:Yeah.

00:59:55Guest:So they send me a big fat check.

00:59:57Guest:I buy a truck.

00:59:58Guest:Yeah.

00:59:59Guest:So now I'm rolling.

01:00:00Guest:Yeah.

01:00:00Guest:So then I'm making money from that show still, you know.

01:00:04Guest:Yeah.

01:00:04Guest:Byron Allen.

01:00:05Guest:Yeah.

01:00:06Guest:I get a check every once in a while for 80 bucks.

01:00:08Guest:Yeah.

01:00:08Guest:So it's the show that pays.

01:00:10Guest:Yeah.

01:00:10Guest:So money's rolling in.

01:00:11Guest:Rolling in.

01:00:13Guest:And then...

01:00:14Guest:I'm getting booked to headline in Vegas before Last Comic.

01:00:20Guest:Okay.

01:00:20Guest:We're at in Vegas.

01:00:21Guest:Planet Hollywood.

01:00:22Guest:Oh, yeah?

01:00:23Guest:Planet Hollywood.

01:00:24Guest:So you're getting good gigs.

01:00:26Guest:Yeah, and I would open up for comedians.

01:00:28Guest:Which one?

01:00:28Guest:Paul Rodriguez.

01:00:29Guest:Yeah.

01:00:30Guest:And Russell Peters.

01:00:32Guest:That's a big crowd, huh?

01:00:33Guest:Yeah.

01:00:34Guest:I remember when Paul Rodriguez gave me a check.

01:00:37Guest:for like three shows, and then I saw the check, and I said, I think you made a mistake, man, that's like $2,000 a show.

01:00:44Guest:I only did like six minutes.

01:00:47Guest:He goes, orale, that's the check.

01:00:51Guest:And he was like, all right, I'll take it.

01:00:55Guest:But then I got to call him back again like an hour later.

01:00:58Guest:I only have one ID and I don't have a checking account.

01:01:06Guest:And is there any way I could cash it at that bank?

01:01:09Guest:Yeah.

01:01:10Guest:Without them telling me to join that bank.

01:01:12Guest:Yeah.

01:01:13Guest:So I got to go back to his accountant and the bank, and then they cash it for me right there.

01:01:18Guest:Good.

01:01:19Guest:Yeah, you got it settled.

01:01:21Guest:I remember one time when I opened up for Paul Rodriguez in Reno.

01:01:24Guest:Yeah.

01:01:25Guest:He calls me up.

01:01:26Guest:He goes, hey, what is this about you complaining about your room that is too small?

01:01:31Guest:It's not hot enough.

01:01:33Guest:It's not cool enough.

01:01:34Guest:There's not enough fruit.

01:01:36Guest:What is this shit, man?

01:01:37Guest:You know what you were doing six months ago?

01:01:39Guest:And I said, I didn't say shit, man.

01:01:42Guest:I just got here.

01:01:42Guest:I wasn't complaining.

01:01:44Guest:You will when you see my room.

01:01:46Guest:And he hung up.

01:01:48Guest:And I go to the room.

01:01:49Guest:It's like a palace.

01:01:50Guest:There's a whole floor.

01:01:52Guest:There's a piano.

01:01:54Guest:There's a hot shit.

01:01:55Guest:There's a swing.

01:01:57Marc:A hammock.

01:02:00Marc:So he just wanted to fuck with you?

01:02:01Marc:Yeah.

01:02:03Marc:So when do you have to... So at this time, are you married?

01:02:07Yeah.

01:02:07Marc:No, I have a girlfriend.

01:02:09Marc:But you're still using?

01:02:10Guest:No, I started using in 09.

01:02:12Guest:How bad did it get?

01:02:13Guest:It got really bad.

01:02:14Guest:Yeah.

01:02:15Guest:Yeah, like I was like disappearing, like five days awake.

01:02:20Guest:Oh.

01:02:20Guest:Yeah, missing shows?

01:02:22Guest:Yes.

01:02:22Guest:No, not missing shows.

01:02:23Guest:I would get to the show with two days of no sleep and kill it.

01:02:26Guest:Yeah.

01:02:27Yeah.

01:02:27Guest:And then I argue with a comedian that's trying to give me advice.

01:02:31Guest:Yeah, all right.

01:02:32Guest:Hey, bro, you should really watch yourself.

01:02:33Guest:Oh, yeah, bro.

01:02:35Guest:Next time you get a standing ovation with two days of no sleep, let me know, homie.

01:02:40Guest:So you're a warrior.

01:02:41Guest:Yeah.

01:02:42Guest:Yeah.

01:02:42Guest:Like, even the late Ralphie May, like, jokingly, he gave me advice.

01:02:47Guest:Oh, yeah.

01:02:47Guest:Hey there, buddy.

01:02:49Guest:Yeah.

01:02:49Guest:I heard you call up room service.

01:02:51Guest:Yeah.

01:02:51Guest:And order a spoon and baking soda.

01:02:55Yeah.

01:02:56Guest:Yeah, man, I was like, one night I was out of it, man.

01:03:00Guest:The Laugh Stop Comedy Club, they used to headline me.

01:03:06Guest:In Ohio?

01:03:07Guest:No, in Houston.

01:03:08Guest:Oh, Houston, right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:03:09Guest:Oh, we got Mark.

01:03:10Guest:Yeah, Mark Babbitt.

01:03:12Guest:Yeah, good guy.

01:03:13Guest:He used to always book me.

01:03:16Guest:He was one of the guys that would take me on the road with Freddy Soto and Joey Diaz and Willie Barsena.

01:03:22Guest:Yeah.

01:03:22Guest:So he would, oh really?

01:03:24Guest:Yeah, we used to do shows in Bakersfield.

01:03:27Marc:Oh, okay.

01:03:27Guest:In Juan Villarreal.

01:03:28Guest:Yeah, Babbitt, he would run it, road manage it?

01:03:31Guest:Yeah, he was with Wild Wild West, I think.

01:03:33Guest:Oh, okay.

01:03:34Guest:Yeah, I remember that guy.

01:03:35Guest:Mark Babbitt was good, man.

01:03:37Guest:I remember one time he booked me to do a show in Houston, $800.

01:03:42Guest:And like, wow.

01:03:44Guest:Then the show gets canceled three days later.

01:03:47Guest:He still sends me the check.

01:03:48Guest:Huh.

01:03:49Guest:That's a good guy.

01:03:50Marc:I'm like, wow.

01:03:50Marc:Yeah.

01:03:51Marc:I like that.

01:03:51Marc:I remember that room.

01:03:52Marc:That spoils me, man.

01:03:53Marc:Yeah.

01:03:54Marc:I remember that room.

01:03:54Marc:And then it got taken over by a weirder guy.

01:03:57Marc:Yeah.

01:03:57Marc:Not a great guy.

01:03:58Marc:I've been a long time, though.

01:03:59Marc:It's gone, right?

01:04:00Marc:It's gone.

01:04:01Marc:It's closed.

01:04:01Marc:Yeah.

01:04:02Marc:So you cleaned up because you were a disaster?

01:04:06Marc:Did somebody step in?

01:04:07Marc:I called up room service, and I ordered a spoon and baking soda.

01:04:11Marc:You did do that?

01:04:12Marc:Yeah.

01:04:14Guest:And I tore up the hotel, and they lost the account for the hotel.

01:04:18Guest:And that was it?

01:04:19Guest:Yeah.

01:04:19Guest:And then you were like, I got to do this?

01:04:21Guest:I got to do this.

01:04:22Guest:So would you go back to rehab, or you just stopped?

01:04:24Guest:No, I just started thinking about it, and I stopped.

01:04:28Guest:I just stop, this is not good.

01:04:31Guest:I'm funny, I gotta focus.

01:04:33Guest:So I stopped in 09 and I started focusing and Joe Diaz told me about this movie with Nick Torturo and Paul Rodriguez.

01:04:45Guest:So the director of that movie and producer, Manny Mejia, Redford Mejia, I gave him my comedy special.

01:04:56Guest:that I recorded at the Ice House.

01:04:58Guest:They recorded your video, so I had 33 minutes.

01:05:02Guest:So you mean just a tape?

01:05:03Guest:Yeah.

01:05:04Guest:Okay.

01:05:04Guest:So I gave it to him.

01:05:05Guest:Yeah.

01:05:05Guest:No, I had it in a CD.

01:05:07Guest:Right, but it wasn't a produced special.

01:05:09Guest:No, it was just an audio and a set, 33 minutes.

01:05:12Guest:But I would sell those for 20 bucks.

01:05:14Guest:Oh, okay.

01:05:14Guest:I would make 100 of them.

01:05:16Guest:Yeah.

01:05:16Guest:So I gave everybody in the show, everybody in the movie one.

01:05:19Guest:Yeah.

01:05:20Guest:And then he listened to it.

01:05:22Guest:And this thing must be on drugs or nuts.

01:05:25Guest:But he comes up to me, he goes, Felipe, how would you like to do a movie based on this audio, this audio CD?

01:05:34Guest:And I said, it's only three minutes.

01:05:36Guest:You want to do a short film or what?

01:05:38Guest:So he goes, let's do it right now.

01:05:41Guest:So I think he's nuts.

01:05:43Guest:So I go on on a binge and disappear for a while.

01:05:47Guest:And I'll return his phone calls.

01:05:49Guest:So he corners me one day and he goes, no, seriously, I want to do this movie.

01:05:54Guest:So I have dinner with him.

01:05:55Guest:Yeah.

01:05:56Guest:While my wife is eating fish folette at McDonald's waiting for me, I'm at this dinner place in Beverly Hills with this guy and he buys me this big fat fish with purple sauce and that fish was delicious.

01:06:09Guest:Even the bone was good.

01:06:10Guest:And he gives me a check and I sign over my comedy to him.

01:06:15Guest:That 33 minutes?

01:06:16Guest:Yeah.

01:06:17Guest:And he gave me a check and I, wow, I could pay my rent for the next couple of months now.

01:06:22Guest:I could buy groceries.

01:06:24Guest:So he hires a writer director named Christian Sesma.

01:06:28Guest:Yeah.

01:06:28Guest:And he transfers a comedy into a 80 minute motion picture.

01:06:34Guest:Yeah.

01:06:34Guest:And then we shoot the movie in nine days.

01:06:37Guest:It's called I'm Not Like That No More.

01:06:39Guest:Yeah.

01:06:39Guest:And I'm the star of the movie with Paul Rodriguez playing my father and all my materials in that movie.

01:06:44Guest:And was it good?

01:06:45Guest:Yeah.

01:06:46Guest:That movie went straight to iTunes, and then it disappeared.

01:06:51Guest:We had a big-ass premiere at the big movie theater in Arclight.

01:06:56Guest:Yeah.

01:06:57Guest:With red carpet and everything, 09.

01:07:00Guest:Yeah.

01:07:01Guest:And then we had another premiere at the Ricardo Montalban Theater, and then the audio messes up, and it's sad, man.

01:07:08Guest:For those people that were there, man, you guys never got to see the ending of the movie.

01:07:12Guest:My bad.

01:07:13Guest:Yeah.

01:07:13Guest:And what happened to the movie?

01:07:15Guest:Still make money?

01:07:15Guest:Well, no, the guy owned it.

01:07:17Guest:Yeah, doesn't matter.

01:07:18Guest:It disappeared.

01:07:19Guest:But I own copies, and every once in a while on Christmas, I release it on YouTube.

01:07:24Guest:Everybody can watch it.

01:07:25Marc:Oh, yeah?

01:07:25Marc:And that guy doesn't get mad, right?

01:07:27Guest:No, he doesn't know what's happening unless he's listening right now.

01:07:29Guest:But you feel good about it.

01:07:32Guest:Yeah, because...

01:07:32Guest:Here I am, man.

01:07:34Guest:I'm drinking, and this thing shows up.

01:07:36Guest:I'm in this movie.

01:07:37Guest:I didn't expect this to ever happen to me, but I have my own movie starring Felipe Esparza, Edwin San Juan, Paul Rodriguez.

01:07:44Guest:But when did the last comic happen?

01:07:45Guest:Next?

01:07:46Guest:That year.

01:07:47Guest:Okay.

01:07:48Guest:In 2010, after the movie's done, 2010 starts, and then I get the audition.

01:07:54Marc:But you're clean then?

01:07:55Marc:Yeah.

01:07:56Marc:Yeah.

01:07:56Marc:And then you win it?

01:07:57Marc:Yeah.

01:07:58Marc:What is that process?

01:07:59Marc:Like two months?

01:08:00Marc:How long is that fucking thing?

01:08:01Marc:Like three months.

01:08:02Marc:Three months.

01:08:03Marc:It was over by August.

01:08:05Marc:And what was that?

01:08:05Marc:Like the second one, first one, third one?

01:08:07Marc:Seventh.

01:08:07Marc:Seventh?

01:08:08Marc:So does that now- No house.

01:08:11Guest:Peter Ingram came up in front of all the 40 people and said, guys, we're not going to have a house.

01:08:17Guest:We're going to have just comedy going at each other.

01:08:22Guest:So you just compete against each other.

01:08:24Guest:No house, no extra stuff.

01:08:25Guest:That's better.

01:08:26Guest:Who was in it that year?

01:08:27Guest:I'll tell you the people that were in it who didn't make it through who are stars now.

01:08:32Guest:Okay.

01:08:32Guest:Tiffany Haddish.

01:08:33Guest:Yeah.

01:08:33Guest:Lil Rel.

01:08:34Guest:Lil Rel.

01:08:35Guest:Yeah.

01:08:36Guest:Lil Rel was top 10.

01:08:38Guest:Yeah.

01:08:38Guest:And Tiffany Haddish was top...

01:08:41Guest:20.

01:08:43Guest:And Cristela Alonso was top 20.

01:08:45Guest:And she had to get in her own sitcom.

01:08:47Guest:Yeah.

01:08:48Guest:Yeah, and I was top five was Felipe Esparza winning.

01:08:52Guest:Second was Mike DeStefano.

01:08:54Guest:No, second was Tommy Johnigan.

01:08:56Guest:Third was Mike DeStefano.

01:08:59Guest:Fourth was Roy Woods Jr.

01:09:03Guest:And fifth was Mike Kaplan.

01:09:05Guest:Mike Kaplan.

01:09:06Guest:We all went on a big tour, 80-city tour.

01:09:08Guest:So how long you been a vegan?

01:09:11Guest:Since 2011, I think.

01:09:14Guest:Just because?

01:09:15Guest:No, man.

01:09:16Guest:I was trying to lose weight on the Atkins diet.

01:09:19Guest:Oh.

01:09:20Guest:And I didn't do it right.

01:09:22Guest:I didn't do what they say, like, hey, go talk to a physician.

01:09:25Guest:Yeah.

01:09:26Guest:So I was eating cheese and Diet Cokes and meat and no water and no lettuce.

01:09:32Guest:and no tomatoes, so I was constipated for about four days, not going to the bathroom.

01:09:38Guest:I had to take a Lamaze class, whatever, but it was bad, bro.

01:09:43Guest:So man, finally I just got tired, man, and I just pushed it all out and I hurt myself, and I got a hemorrhoid, and my blood was bleeding, I felt like I was raped by a ghost at night.

01:09:54Guest:It just felt so bad that I was afraid to take a shit after a while.

01:09:58Guest:So I just stopped eating, man, for like three days now.

01:10:01Guest:So I said, I stopped eating, and I lost a lot of weight, and I was working on this movie called Taco Shop.

01:10:07Guest:So I said, I'm not going to eat no more.

01:10:08Marc:And that was it?

01:10:10Guest:I'm not going to eat meat no more.

01:10:11Guest:I'm not going to eat anything that's hard to digest.

01:10:13Guest:So I don't eat cheese or meat.

01:10:15Guest:And did you feel better?

01:10:16Guest:Yeah.

01:10:17Marc:Uh-huh.

01:10:17Marc:So where are you at now with the drugs?

01:10:20Marc:Just weed?

01:10:21Marc:Just weed.

01:10:21Marc:Yeah.

01:10:22Guest:I did mushroom for the first time with my wife like four years ago.

01:10:25Guest:Yeah.

01:10:25Guest:How was that?

01:10:26Guest:I felt alive when it was all done.

01:10:30Guest:Yeah.

01:10:31Guest:I felt newborn.

01:10:32Guest:Yeah.

01:10:33Guest:That's good.

01:10:33Guest:And I felt like a new person.

01:10:36Guest:Yeah.

01:10:36Guest:I felt like if somebody would have given me this when I was hooked on crack, I would have quit.

01:10:41Guest:Yeah.

01:10:42Guest:Like if somebody would have gave me this in dosages.

01:10:44Yeah.

01:10:44Guest:Because I would have just quit.

01:10:46Marc:Right, right.

01:10:47Marc:Because, yeah, you don't need it.

01:10:48Marc:I don't need it.

01:10:49Marc:Right.

01:10:49Marc:Yeah.

01:10:49Guest:And you got how many kids?

01:10:52Guest:I have three.

01:10:54Guest:Yeah.

01:10:55Guest:I had one when I was in high school and one later on.

01:10:59Guest:Yeah.

01:10:59Guest:And I have my stepson from my wife.

01:11:01Guest:And you're still married and everything?

01:11:03Guest:Yeah, I'm married to my wife.

01:11:04Guest:We lived together.

01:11:05Guest:We built together in 2006.

01:11:07Guest:Oh, that's good.

01:11:08Guest:And you produced stuff together?

01:11:09Guest:Yes.

01:11:09Guest:My wife is like my manager.

01:11:11Guest:She's the executive producer of all my specials.

01:11:13Guest:That's good.

01:11:14Guest:I like the special.

01:11:15Marc:The last one was good.

01:11:16Guest:Lisa Esparza.

01:11:17Guest:Yeah.

01:11:17Guest:And what's the podcast called?

01:11:20Guest:The podcast that I do with Rodrigo Torres and Martin Rezzo and my wife is called What's Up Food Podcast.

01:11:27Guest:But my wife and I, we have our own podcast that we did for a couple of episodes.

01:11:32Guest:It's called Enchilada Cassero.

01:11:35Guest:Uh-huh.

01:11:35Guest:and we talk about a relationship, we talk about us trying to have a baby, we talk about her miscarriages, and then we talk about growing up with our violent parents.

01:11:45Guest:More personal.

01:11:48Marc:But you only did a couple of those?

01:11:49Marc:Yeah, like 10.

01:11:51Marc:And so when was that?

01:11:53Marc:That was like, man, six years ago.

01:11:56Guest:So you were able to have a baby?

01:11:57Guest:No, we didn't have a baby.

01:11:59Guest:My wife ended up having a hysterectomy.

01:12:01Guest:Oh, she did?

01:12:02Guest:Yeah.

01:12:03Guest:We had like three miscarriages.

01:12:08Guest:One was in the car while we were driving to a show when we were trying to get to the hotel, and it was like the scene from Rutherford Dogs when they shot Tim Roth.

01:12:18Guest:Because I was passing her, because she was bleeding from a uterus, so I kept passing her those

01:12:25Guest:baby diapers or big ones so she could wipe herself over and over.

01:12:29Guest:And then we were in traffic.

01:12:30Guest:We're almost there, honey.

01:12:32Guest:To the hospital?

01:12:33Guest:Yeah.

01:12:33Guest:And then we went to the hotel.

01:12:36Guest:And then in the hotel, she had the miscarriage there.

01:12:38Guest:She just caught it.

01:12:40Guest:That's terrible.

01:12:41Marc:But you got a joke out of it.

01:12:42Marc:yeah well that's what i you know it was funny when i was watching the latest special like because i used to be dirtier and i you know and you there was this time where it's like you know they tell people like you don't want to be too blue but there was never that many guys doing it no like you know like because i watch your stuff and i'm like i like this honest fucking sex weird shit and i used to do it myself and then at some point i got older i just stopped doing it but

01:13:06Marc:There was always this thing like you don't want to be blue, but no one was doing it like that.

01:13:10Marc:I mean, there were guys that were talking dirty, but when you really talk about fucking, there wasn't that many of us doing it, and I like seeing it again.

01:13:18Guest:I know, to me, like my friend would tell me, the young community, the veteran, like Willie and them, bro, you gotta work clean, bro, you're never gonna work.

01:13:26Guest:You gotta cross over to white people, or you gotta be clean.

01:13:30Guest:Then one time, Paul Rodriguez told me, listen, man, don't worry about none of that stuff.

01:13:34Guest:If you're funny enough, eventually they're going to just cross over to you.

01:13:38Guest:Yeah, right.

01:13:39Guest:And that was the right advice.

01:13:40Guest:That was the right advice, man.

01:13:41Guest:Yeah.

01:13:42Guest:But I remember, like, I would see Joe Diaz destroy being dirty.

01:13:47Guest:Yeah.

01:13:47Guest:And then we're talking about having crabs on his eyebrows.

01:13:51Guest:Yeah.

01:13:51Guest:And, like...

01:13:52Guest:And I was working clean all the time.

01:13:55Guest:I never talk about that stuff.

01:13:57Guest:I never did that stuff.

01:13:59Guest:But then after a while, you know what?

01:14:00Guest:Fuck, dude, I'm gonna just be me.

01:14:02Guest:Right.

01:14:02Guest:Nobody's gonna be better than being me.

01:14:04Guest:That's the best way.

01:14:05Marc:Yeah.

01:14:05Marc:Yeah, Joey's a character too, and you live the life.

01:14:08Marc:And then you talk about this stuff.

01:14:11Marc:I don't know if I got less dirty.

01:14:14Marc:I just got nicer.

01:14:15Guest:and uh but there was a time where you just talk about all that and like it's a very specific zone man and you don't see it that much and it was funny man so you're doing good yeah i'm doing i'm doing good man like i'm on a show on on hentified i'm in one episode on netflix called hentified gentified yeah it's about a show i showed a a town boy ohio that'd been

01:14:39Guest:It's being gentrified by white people.

01:14:42Guest:That's happening.

01:14:43Guest:Yeah, but also the community who lives there are also part of the gentrification because a lot of the kids are not moving.

01:14:51Guest:Yeah.

01:14:51Guest:So you got these hipsters who are Mexican who live with their parents.

01:14:54Marc:Oh, interesting.

01:14:55Guest:In Boyle Heights.

01:14:55Marc:Because there was actually some friction, right?

01:14:58Marc:Yeah.

01:14:59Marc:Is it a documentary?

01:15:00Guest:It's a show.

01:15:01Guest:It's a series that's directed and written and produced by...

01:15:06Guest:Linda Yvette Chavez and Marvin Lemus.

01:15:09Guest:Oh, good.

01:15:11Guest:So is Father Boyle still alive?

01:15:13Guest:Father Boyle's still alive.

01:15:14Guest:He's still kicking it at the homeboy industry.

01:15:16Guest:Did you ever work over there?

01:15:18Guest:Never worked over there.

01:15:19Guest:When I was in rehab, it was the beginning of homeboy industry.

01:15:25Guest:Back then, it was called Jobs for the Future.

01:15:28Guest:Okay.

01:15:29Guest:Jobs, not jails.

01:15:30Guest:You still talk to that guy?

01:15:31Guest:Yeah, I do talk to him.

01:15:33Guest:I still donate money.

01:15:34Guest:When I want less common standing, I donate my money to them.

01:15:38Marc:That's nice.

01:15:38Guest:Do you ever call him for advice?

01:15:40Guest:Sometimes.

01:15:41Guest:No.

01:15:42Guest:I stop vibing once in a while.

01:15:43Guest:He's a busy man, you know?

01:15:44Guest:Yeah.

01:15:45Guest:He travels.

01:15:45Guest:He speaks a lot.

01:15:46Guest:But he's always nice to you.

01:15:48Marc:He's always been nice to me.

01:15:49Marc:Well, good, man.

01:15:50Marc:I'm glad we did this, man.

01:15:51Marc:Good talking to you.

01:15:57Marc:Yeah, man.

01:15:58Marc:Felipe Esparza.

01:16:01Marc:Hope you set your clocks back yesterday.

01:16:04Marc:Because if you didn't, you're late.

01:16:08Marc:Or early.

01:16:09Marc:I guess you'd be early.

01:16:11Marc:Right?

01:16:13Marc:How come no one's here yet?

01:16:14Marc:Oh, fuck.

01:16:16Marc:Let's play some guitar.

01:18:21Marc:Boomer lives.

01:18:22Marc:Monkey LaFonda.

01:18:25Marc:Cat angels everywhere.