Episode 1275 - Ricky Velez
Marc:Lock the gates!
Marc:All right, let's do this.
Marc:How are you?
Marc:What the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fucking ears?
Marc:What's happening?
Marc:Are you wearing your what the fucking ear ears?
Marc:How's it going?
Marc:I'm Mark Maron.
Marc:This is my podcast.
Marc:WTF?
Marc:Welcome to it.
Marc:Ricky Velez is on the show.
Marc:OK, Ricky is a New York based comic.
Marc:He came up on the scene with Pete Davidson.
Marc:He's in Pete's movie, The King of Staten Island.
Marc:He was on The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore and Master of None.
Marc:And now he's got his own Judd Apatow produced stand up special on HBO.
Marc:He is Judd Apatow produced.
Marc:Judd Apatow is producing this guy.
Marc:He's doing the Judd Apatow graduate program in show business.
Marc:He's a good guy.
Marc:I didn't know him.
Marc:I didn't come up with him.
Marc:I didn't see him rise.
Marc:I was away.
Marc:I was not in the rooms of New York when he was coming up.
Marc:But it did remind me about how I came up.
Marc:It did remind me about what I went through when I was a young comic in New York.
Marc:I don't know if it was the same experience he had.
Marc:He was just one of these young, shiny guys that got his eye on the prize.
Marc:But whatever the case...
Marc:Like I knew I came up in New York.
Marc:I came up in the hard clubs.
Marc:I came up in the Boston area.
Marc:I came up in the one-nighter road arena.
Marc:And the great thing about talking to Ricky was it reminded me of, yeah, I spent a lot of time in New York.
Marc:I'm going back in a few weeks to perform there.
Marc:I feel a connection in New York.
Marc:It's where I started, but not unlike...
Marc:Anywhere else I came from or anywhere else I've come from, there's overwhelmingly bad experiences there that might sort of taint my excitement in general, I'm starting to realize.
Marc:And also, I wrote this down the other day.
Marc:I don't know if I shared it with you.
Marc:I'm not sure.
Marc:When did I do Largo?
Marc:But I'll tell you, man, I wrote something down on a post-it that said, you know, when I hate myself, I hate anyone who's ever cared for me.
Marc:And again, a portal has opened that hasn't been opened in a while.
Marc:And I am...
Marc:Clinging to the edge, clinging to the edge, people not looking for sympathy, just trying to understand out loud.
Marc:That's what I do here.
Marc:I try to understand out loud.
Marc:But Ricky has a very, very there's there is a New York frequency.
Marc:You know, among humans and comics, there's a tone, man.
Marc:There's a sort of a street smart philosopher guy to call it like it is guy.
Marc:This guy came out of New York.
Marc:He is New York.
Marc:You hear New York.
Marc:He lives New York.
Marc:He breathes New York.
Marc:And that was refreshing to me.
Marc:So we'll talk to him in a second.
Marc:There you go.
Marc:See, I just said to talk.
Marc:I guess I'll be doing a little of that.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:You tell me.
Marc:I also wanted to mention we've got a bunch of new merch for the holidays, including our first ever holiday sweaters for different Christmas and Hanukkah sweaters featuring me and the cats.
Marc:There's also a limited edition Hawaiian style shirt with me and Buster and Sammy all over it.
Marc:I got to get one of those.
Marc:Also, just for the holiday season, Pod Swag is bundling some of our old favorites together at special prices.
Marc:So you can really clean up your holiday.
Marc:So you can really clean up your holiday shopping for WTF fans.
Marc:We'll put pictures of all the new merch on our Twitter and Instagram pages.
Marc:And you can go to Pod Swag dot com slash WTF to start shopping or just click on the merch tab at WTF pod dot com.
Marc:I'm hammering away at comedy in a way that I've never hammered before, to be honest with you.
Marc:And I start to realize, you know, I've always been a student of comedy and connected and empathic a bit with my fellow comedians, you know, and wondering why or what drives us, you know.
Marc:But I think that, and this is an observation I made about my mother's boyfriend, John, like when I...
Marc:Saw him last, he was always very annoying to me and too needy and cranky and didn't listen.
Marc:It was a lot of things.
Marc:But somehow or another, because of my own grief, I realized that he had been through a devastating amount of grief and he was filled with sadness and anger.
Marc:And I just feel like he keeps talking.
Marc:He keeps talking to not acknowledge that or to not live in that or to not sort of get stuck in the mire of that.
Marc:And I'm not sure that's not what I'm doing.
Marc:Like this type of rage came out of me the other day.
Marc:I tapped into a type of rage I hadn't seen come out of me for a long time.
Marc:You know, it comes out of me when I feel invaded or manipulated or, you know, I make some sort of tremendous mistake or I feel misunderstood.
Marc:And there's been a lot of that rage kind of bubbling up and I see it on stage and it's old style, man.
Marc:It's old style, Maren.
Marc:But obviously I have a lot more craft and I'm a lot more grounded.
Marc:But I do feel that, as I said not long ago, that I have to, how do you reckon with this shit?
Marc:Like I've had this all my life, even before Lynn.
Marc:I'm incapable of trusting people.
Marc:I'm incapable of real intimacy.
Marc:I'm incapable of sort of receiving love in any sort of specific personal way.
Marc:I do okay with audiences because I can leave.
Marc:I do okay on Instagram, I guess.
Marc:But that's not real.
Marc:But I don't think I've ever dealt with this stuff.
Marc:It's just by virtue of, you know, surrender and letting go that I was able to start experiencing some of this in my short relationship with Lynn Shelton.
Marc:But it wasn't like some easy thing.
Marc:It took years.
Marc:There's some part of me in my heart that really doesn't really want to deal with anybody.
Marc:I don't trust anybody.
Marc:I'm incapable of it.
Marc:I always feel like I'm being fucked with.
Marc:And this shit is not fixed.
Marc:It's not fixed.
Marc:And look, man, I know some of you are like, suck it up, dude.
Marc:You're a fucking adult.
Marc:I get it, I guess.
Marc:But we're all different kinds of adults.
Marc:Nobody knows what the fuck goes on in anybody.
Marc:To quote Sidney Pollack from Michael Clayton, people are fucking incomprehensible.
Marc:People are multitudes.
Marc:People have a lot of people inside of them.
Marc:Nothing is that simple.
Marc:Maybe it is for other people.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:But the truth is, you know, I'm an emotional disaster.
Marc:And I wrestle with myself constantly.
Marc:Right now, I'm going through a profoundly rough patch.
Marc:And I've got to pull out from making my heart and mind available to the assault of strangers for good and bad.
Marc:That being said, my comedy has been very good.
Marc:It's very satisfying.
Marc:But to tie that all around is that I'm now one of those fucking heartbroken, angry, sad motherfuckers who only has comedy to some degree to work things out.
Marc:And to feel better.
Marc:And to share it.
Marc:I have this, yes.
Marc:But I'm just talking about my true nature.
Marc:My true drive shaft.
Marc:Down to the core.
Marc:Is making jokes.
Marc:It's just my DNA.
Marc:And now it's more important to me than ever.
Marc:Though I think about stopping doing it every day.
Marc:That's the fucking struggle.
Marc:So Ricky Velez...
Marc:I watched his special.
Marc:I enjoyed it.
Marc:He's solid.
Marc:It's on HBO.
Marc:I believe it's called Here's Everything.
Marc:It's new.
Marc:It's produced by Judd Apatow.
Marc:And I enjoyed talking to him.
Marc:This is me talking to Ricky Velez.
Guest:So this is it.
Guest:How long have you been out here?
Guest:I've been out here four days.
Guest:Oh yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:This is the big push for the HBO special?
Guest:Yeah, I decided to come out and do the stuff that you need to do.
Marc:Yeah, well that's responsible of you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It seems like you got a lot of momentum behind you.
Guest:A lot of people are doing a lot of awesome stuff for me.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:I feel good about it, yeah.
Marc:But I watched the special last night.
Marc:It was funny.
Marc:Where'd you shoot that thing?
Marc:Brooklyn Steel.
Marc:Oh, I heard of that place.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Music venue.
Marc:It's a music venue for the guy from LCD Sound System.
Marc:Yep.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yep, yep, yep.
Marc:I've never been there.
Marc:It's really cool.
Marc:And who shot it?
Marc:Did Judd?
Marc:How much did Judd have to do with it?
Marc:A lot.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Marc:Yeah, but Michael Bonfiglio.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And did you decide on the music and everything?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And all that?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Because that's sort of like at the beginning was one of those specials like, no, this is serious.
Yeah.
Marc:And that was your kid at the end of the special?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Jumping around playing guitar?
Guest:Was that your idea?
Guest:I just brought him in and they were doing test shots.
Guest:And yeah, Bonfiglio just was like, roll tape.
Guest:And then me and my wife were on stage with him.
Guest:It was really cool.
Guest:That was cute.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:It's like, oh, see, if you're wondering whether he's a fucking human, look, he really has a kid.
Guest:He's a person.
Guest:Dude, that's my guy right there.
Guest:I love Leo.
Guest:He's the best.
Guest:That's his name, Leo?
Guest:Yeah, he was swimming today.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Out here?
Guest:No, we got him in swim class in New York City.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Okay, so I seem to have missed your entire... There seems to be a generation of comics whose adolescence I missed entirely in New York.
Marc:And I don't know... Obviously, you know what you're doing.
Marc:To a point.
Marc:Well, it's been a while, right?
Marc:Well, I don't do this.
Marc:I don't podcast or anything.
Marc:No, I know, but you're a stand-up, and I've never seen you before.
Marc:And I always, for some reason...
Marc:When somebody has a profile, I always think like, how the fuck am I missing this?
Marc:But I mean, unless I was in New York, I wouldn't have seen you.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No, we were once like close to each other at the cellar.
Guest:And that was that.
Guest:I didn't even come say hi.
Guest:No, you were just hanging out.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But you grew up in where?
Guest:Queens.
Guest:Queens Village.
Guest:See, I don't know where that is.
Guest:I live in Astoria.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:So Queens Village is further out.
Guest:We're surrounded by like Springfield Gardens.
Guest:Okay.
Marc:So you're on the train.
Marc:So you'd be on the R train.
Guest:No.
Guest:No.
Marc:F, last stop, plus a bus.
Marc:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So it's way out there.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:So the R train doesn't even go out there.
Marc:The R train's gone now, I think.
Marc:Is it?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I used to take the N to 30th Avenue, Astoria.
Guest:Yeah, R's gone, I think.
Guest:And it's not something else?
Guest:Yeah, I think the, no, the V is gone.
Guest:The R is still there.
Marc:All right.
Marc:So you don't even take that?
Guest:You got to take it from Union Square somewhere?
Guest:From the city?
Guest:From the city.
Guest:So I was in the uptown clubs for a while.
Guest:So I would just take the F from midtown.
Guest:I would just walk to midtown usually.
Guest:And then it goes all the way over, way out there.
Guest:All the way out.
Guest:179th Street, last stop.
Marc:So is that like it's almost Long Island?
Guest:How's it work?
Guest:I am two towns out of Long Island, but I'm also backed up against Hollis and Jamaica.
Guest:Huh.
Marc:It's one of those areas where it's like you hear about it.
Marc:It's a mythic area to me.
Guest:Mythological.
Guest:What's happening out there?
Guest:Nothing.
Guest:Nothing.
Guest:It's crazy.
Guest:I googled famous people.
Guest:There's nobody.
Guest:You're it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No.
Guest:They won't even list me on the Wikipedia.
Guest:It's bullshit.
Guest:Give it time, man.
Guest:They're going to have to give you a key to the fucking city.
Guest:I'm going to have to fucking just edit it on Wikipedia.
Guest:What is out there, though?
Guest:What kind of neighborhood is it?
Guest:It's very diverse.
Guest:All of Queens, right?
Guest:Well, it's the most diverse borough.
Guest:My neighbor, Filipino, next door, Pakistani.
Guest:Then I got Cubans across the street.
Guest:You grew up with these guys?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The whole life.
Guest:But that's why I didn't understand racism when it got like hot again.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was just like, yo, you hate somebody because you fucking hate them.
Guest:You don't hate them because of like what their situation is.
Marc:And I think that New York is like one of the only places where, you know, it really, it really is like a melting pot and it really, you don't really, there's some committed racists.
Marc:Out there on the island and, you know, people, you know, who are aggravated.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:But in the city itself, you know, there was a lot of tolerance and people just kind of moved through it with each other.
Marc:And I always noticed that.
Marc:I never got a sense that there was like a separation.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:My mom was Irish.
Guest:My dad, Puerto Rican.
Guest:Irish, Irish.
Guest:Irish, Irish.
Guest:Like Irish talk with Irish accent, Irish?
Guest:No, no, no, no, no.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But like four girls, one boy raised by her father.
Guest:Catholic.
Guest:Ran the CCD program.
Guest:Alcoholic.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I kind of touch on that.
Guest:Yeah, a little bit.
Guest:I didn't just pull that up.
Guest:I know, but that would have been tight.
Marc:Mark knows everything.
Marc:It would have been almost racist, actually.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, Irish got to be a fucking drunk, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That stuff ran far in my family.
Guest:But like how many kids in your family?
Guest:How many brothers and sisters?
Guest:We're three boys.
Guest:Three guys.
Marc:Yeah, I'm middle.
Marc:You're middle?
Marc:And what's the other ones doing?
Guest:One is a graphic artist, the other one is an IT and a DJ.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So you're all in sort of the arts.
Guest:Yeah, and our parents weren't any of that.
Guest:No?
Guest:No.
Guest:When you were growing up, what were your parents doing?
Guest:My mom worked for Canon, the camera company, as an executive assistant, and my dad was a carpet player.
Guest:He laid carpet, and then he had his own business, and he was doing really well for a while, and then that came out from underneath him, and he just joined the union.
Marc:As a carpet guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No, well, he does flooring.
Guest:Flooring.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Union flooring guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He's still around.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That sounds so exciting.
Guest:I mean, not in my life, but he's out there.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And so, but your mom's gone.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:When, what was the situation like, cause I mean, you allude to it in the special and that's all I have to go on.
Marc:Cause you don't, you don't seem to have your own wiki yet.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No, it got taken away because I got trolled so bad.
Guest:Like, yeah, I got into some shit with Bill Nye the science guy early on in my career and I got like docs so bad that they won't let me have a Wikipedia.
Guest:Wait a minute.
Guest:How do you get into something with Bill Nye?
Guest:I was on The Nightly Show.
Guest:It's so annoying.
Guest:Dude, I was on The Nightly Show.
Guest:He came on about- What is The Nightly Show?
Guest:Larry Wilmore's show.
Guest:Oh, that's right.
Guest:I was a correspondent.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Marc:So you had a thing.
Marc:You did a thing.
Guest:I've done things, yeah.
Guest:yeah yeah yeah larry was the first one to get eyes on me and he put me on a show and i basically would like just say wild shit yeah and but bill nye came on and he was like there's water on mars and i was like yo listen man like there's not like trump's first in the polls and isis is killing the game fuck mars i can't get excited about earth and they took it as me being a science denier and doxed my family and everybody else really yeah it was wild
Guest:Who's they?
Guest:Reddit.
Guest:I was on the front page of Reddit for three days.
Guest:Saying that this guy's anti-science?
Guest:Just basically that I was bullying Bill Nye the science guy.
Guest:So you got a nerd pile on.
Guest:It was wild.
Guest:Opening for Chappelle at the same time.
Marc:So this doxing, so how does that kind of play out?
Marc:What were they basically doing?
Guest:I just went quiet for a while.
Guest:Were they threatening you?
Guest:They got my parents' phone number and they posted it and then they were just like calling them nonstop.
Guest:Like shit like that was happening.
Guest:To say what?
Guest:My favorite one was, my mom didn't find this funny, but I did, was a guy goes, what color are your walls?
Guest:And my mom's like, what?
Guest:And they go, we want to know what color paint chips Ricky ate as a kid.
Guest:And I was like, this guy was creative, at least with his fucking hate.
Marc:At least he had a good joke.
Marc:Nice little turn of phrase there.
Guest:He wrote that.
Marc:He had that planned.
Marc:So when you're growing up out there, I mean, do you, I mean, were you one of these people?
Marc:Because it seems like the way you talk about it, I mean, were you, was it either going to be criminality or comedy or what was going on when you were?
Guest:It was, you know, I liked trouble.
Guest:I liked getting in trouble.
Guest:I was never allowed to sleep outside my house until I was over 18 years old.
Guest:You wanted to sleep in the street?
Guest:No, my parents wouldn't let me sleep at people's house because my mom knew I would just take off.
Guest:That's who I was.
Guest:You'd be gone?
Guest:I wasn't allowed to drive a car until I was over 21.
Guest:When did this start, this problem?
Marc:When did they start to realize this kid's the problem?
Guest:The minute I was able to get out of their eyesight.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Was it because you didn't want to be at home?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I mean, there's trouble in my family.
Guest:Like, it might just be in my genes.
Guest:Well, what about your bros?
Guest:I mean, were they- My older brother, really smart, hardworking, and great baseball player.
Guest:But did he split?
Guest:He could have went and played.
Guest:I mean, like, was he a problem kid?
Guest:No, mom knew he was good.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:younger one wilder than me oh really yeah but in different ways yeah yeah what's his trip uh he just he's in that techno dj world man oh all right yeah a lot of dancing oh there's a lot of dancing dancing and and concoctions yes yeah yeah
Marc:But I mean, how much of like it's weird because there's like there is a New York kind of sensibility.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And I mean, you kind of and you you embody it.
Marc:And there's some other comics that do as well.
Marc:And there's just a whole tone to real New York native.
Marc:It doesn't matter what borough it is.
Marc:But, you know, it's kind of like, you know, a simple aggravation that's fueled by intelligence.
Yeah.
Marc:I appreciate that.
Marc:There's like a street-smart element to it, but obviously you put things together.
Marc:But there is a disposition.
Marc:It's not even a callousness.
Marc:There's just a sort of like, what?
Marc:There's a disposition.
Marc:And you sort of have it because you grew up there.
Marc:And I don't exactly know where it comes from, but I know what it is.
Marc:So when you're in the situation you're in at home...
Marc:You just take to like, you know, this is not I'm going to live on the streets in a way.
Marc:I wasn't allowed to live on the street.
Marc:No, I know.
Marc:But I mean, but you were informed by, you know, that world.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Like, you know, you're dealing with whatever you're dealing with at home and you still got to go to school in New York City.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So, you know, you're getting this education.
Marc:But when did you finally tell him to go fuck themselves?
Guest:Well, my parents were either like, you're doing this or you're doing that.
Guest:Like, go to college or join the military.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Join the military?
Guest:I tried.
Guest:You tried to join the military?
Guest:It didn't go well.
Guest:How old were you?
Guest:I left college.
Guest:I was 19.
Guest:That's when you tried to join the military?
Guest:It was right before I started comedy.
Guest:But what starts going on in junior high?
Guest:How are you fucking up?
Guest:Did you get busted?
Guest:So my parents lied about our address so I can go to a better school.
Guest:Yeah, I did that too.
Marc:Not a better one, just where my friends were.
Guest:So now I was going to like the nicer school and then I like I was a town away.
Guest:I was able to get away with more.
Guest:I had to take the bus so that I had responsibility that I can cheat on.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So like things like that would happen.
Guest:I would.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then once I got into high school, I started going to Long Island City every day.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then that's like they had no eyes on me.
Marc:And what the hell is in Long Island City?
Guest:I went to that Frank Sinatra School of the Arts.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Guest:Now it's in Astoria now.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I never heard of this.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But what about all the stuff that's going on at home, like in what you talk about on the special?
Marc:I mean, when did you start realizing that you were in this chaotic, you know, anger, booze-driven... Years later.
Marc:You didn't really register as a kid?
Guest:I thought it was very normal.
Guest:I thought a lot of this stuff was normal.
Guest:I actually didn't realize, like...
Guest:I didn't realize your parents could be wrong until like my mom was already gone.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I kind of just believed everything my parents said for a long time.
Guest:Well, what was going on in the house when you were kids?
Guest:I mean, dad, big guy.
Guest:Full Puerto Rican?
Guest:Full Puerto Rican from the South Bronx.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Tough guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Really tough guy.
Marc:And he had anger problems?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:He had emotional problems.
Guest:Now that I look at it, I think he had depression.
Guest:I have depression.
Guest:That's why I think, yeah, really bad.
Guest:Manic.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:The first half of my day is like trying to figure out how to like get myself together and stop thinking so negatively.
Guest:But you're like a bipolar guy?
Marc:No.
Marc:No.
Marc:No, no, no, no, no.
Marc:But you just like what you wake up and you're like.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And your head's spinning and you're trying to make like.
Guest:You can't get out of bed or what?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But you do have mania too?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That comes later in the day or when?
Guest:It can unravel.
Guest:You can say something wrong to me in this interview and I'll fucking go spin about it for the next 24 hours.
Marc:Well, that's sad because you'll figure out something to do that about anyone.
Marc:You'll leave here no matter what happens and be like, oh, fuck.
Guest:Possibly.
Marc:No, I won't do that.
Marc:I won't do that.
Marc:Well, that's good.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So you've got a little bit of a handle on it.
Marc:But do you think, I guess the question is with that kind of disposition,
Marc:Do you think that that's like, you know, in you that it's like a biological thing or just because it was chaos?
Guest:I think that's biological, but there was also like, once again, like being physical with your kids and threatening them.
Marc:But was it a situation where you never knew what the fuck you were going to get?
Guest:We basically knew what the night was going to be like once dad pulled in the driveway.
Guest:Just by his tone?
Guest:By his tone, who if he came in and said hi.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:All three of you just sitting there like panicked.
Guest:And your mother.
Guest:There was an anxiety in there.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And my mom like, like, yeah, she, she tried to just keep everything good.
Guest:And that's what she did for a really long time.
Guest:She just kept everything good and like kind of blocked us from who he was and what he does.
Guest:And it was just, it was really tough when she passed because I had to learn all of it really fast.
Yeah.
Guest:that thing isn't it odd i mean as you get older when you really you wonder like why the hell did people stay with each other i guess it was for you guys uh i think it was money oh yeah i think it was money yeah we didn't come from it so i mean or have it around i think i think there was a lot of it that was just like this is what it is and i got to take care of my kids so you're my mom's right so your earliest memories were just of him just being scary generally i always feared my father yeah
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I guess you always do.
Marc:I kind of did too.
Marc:And it was because he was erratic.
Marc:There was no, you know, it was not like comforting when they were around.
Guest:It even like, yeah, but that's the weirdest thing that at times there was that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Where it would be like this big monstrous guy and he can do anything as he please.
Guest:And then next thing you know, he would ask you to like sit with you and put his arm around you.
Guest:And you're like, what the fuck is happening?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Mixed messages and fucked up.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But he was a fun guy sometimes.
Guest:Sometimes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Sometimes.
Guest:But then, yeah, it just deteriorated.
Guest:Actually, it was getting better right before mom died.
Guest:Do you think it was, what was it?
Guest:Once I moved out, me and him got along again.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:And yeah.
Guest:Huh.
Marc:Do you think it was, what was it fueled by?
Marc:Was it just a depression or was he a boozy guy?
Guest:I think he hated his life.
Guest:I think he was really upset with his situation.
Guest:So shame, you think?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Because he was doing better than a lot of his family.
Guest:He did a lot better than a lot of his family.
Marc:Do you have a big Puerto Rican side?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, man.
Guest:You ever see a fight at a funeral?
Guest:I have.
Yeah.
Guest:a lot of cousins uh yeah yeah i find it funny because they have to tell me that we're cousins i'm like you usually don't have to say that but do you have uh do you are there a lot of like you have grandparents alive or anything like that no everyone's gone no there's been a lot of death in my family yeah incredible since i was like 12 years old was the first time i no before yeah around that time i lost my first aunt
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Breast cancer.
Guest:It ravaged my family pretty bad.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah, on my mom's side.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:But so... And that's not what took my mom, which was terrible.
Guest:What was it?
Guest:My mom just had a heart attack out of nowhere.
Guest:Valentine's Day.
Guest:How old was she?
Guest:Uh, 55.
Marc:That's terrible.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Sorry, buddy.
Guest:No, it's fine.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But like when you, when, when we were, so you think that his, just, he just didn't like that his place in life and it frustrated him.
Marc:So he took it out on everybody else.
Guest:I don't know what it was.
Guest:I just think I know for a fact like his parents were really terrible to him.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And that definitely put a lot of strain on him as he got older.
Guest:But you didn't you don't feel you don't have any closure with the guy.
Guest:I do, I do.
Guest:Yeah, I've thought about it.
Guest:I've played the pros and cons of him being in my son's life, and it's just not worth it.
Marc:Oh, man.
Marc:No, my brother had to deliberate that, too, with my dad.
Marc:Like, you know, deciding, like this is only the second time I've really heard about it, where you're like, you know what the guy is, you know who he is,
Marc:And there's part of you that must say like, you know, well, you want the kid to know his grandfather.
Marc:But if they're, you know, if they're not going to be anything positive, then what the fuck?
Marc:Why risk it?
Guest:Well, it's not even that.
Guest:I went as far as to go like, hey, I want I called him as I was going to have a kid.
Guest:We were already estranged.
Guest:And I turned to him and I was like, I want you to be in my kid's life, but we and my brothers need to go to professional help to figure this out.
Guest:And he took that as like therapy and things like that is not a thing like in my family.
Guest:I think I'm probably the first person to ever do it.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So he just took that as some sort of attack and said, fuck it.
Guest:Fuck you.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:My numbers never changed.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So you're but there was a period there you said when you moved out where you did get along.
Guest:Yeah, when my mom was still alive.
Guest:I brought my dad and mom to JFL when I got it.
Guest:Oh, that's nice.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:What year was that?
Guest:I did 2015 or 16.
Guest:I got Variety Top 10.
Guest:So right before she passed away.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And so was her passing that- Destroyed us.
Guest:Destroyed us.
Guest:I think me and my brothers are just getting back on our feet, honestly.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And did they did your brothers have the same sort of response in terms of your father?
Guest:My older brother took the longest, but he's he's the most like my mom where he will allow somebody to do things to him and not not codependent.
Guest:No, not even that.
Guest:He just like cares.
Guest:Like he just couldn't, he had to keep going back and trying to make it right.
Guest:Right.
Guest:My younger brother was living with my dad when my mom passed.
Guest:And when that happened, he, he basically.
Guest:Bolted.
Guest:Got asked to leave the house.
Guest:really yeah my younger brother lost the most he lost his dog he lost his mom he lost his he lost his home he got asked to leave the house well my dad started dating dude like it's crazy yeah and my younger brother was in the house for all this stuff and it was really bad and i like me and my older brother had to like jump into play and start playing parental to my younger brother who was graduating college that year oh my god so so were they together when she died yeah
Guest:and that was like the best time like i dude it's crazy like it was my my dad's older brother stole his trumpet when he was in high school that was gifted to him from the high school because he was the best trumpet player and he graduated early and that wasn't something that happened in that town for trumpet and graduate yeah and they gifted him yeah his brother pawned it okay i went and found that trumpet and bought it back for him the trumpet yeah and that man tells you he hates me
He got his trumpet back.
Guest:Wow.
Marc:So he, did he give up the trumpet though?
Marc:I have no clue.
Marc:I have no clue.
Marc:But what I'm saying is like, if he was this gifted trumpet player and the trumpet disappeared, was that the end of his trumpeting?
Guest:Yeah, there's not money like that to throw around for more trumpets.
Guest:Right.
Guest:The school's giving you a trumpet because they know you got nothing else.
Guest:He had a creative dream though, huh?
Guest:i guess so he was actually really good at like carpet like in the way of like people don't even understand like how good he was at it like he right he did like vinnie testaverde's house while we were in high school and all this stuff because he was really good at bordering and uh like putting the borders on craftsman yeah yeah beyond he he built our whole house basically from the inside like he like used to take rooms apart put them back together was one of those uh two-story queen's houses yeah uh three we had a basement
Marc:oh yeah basement yeah yeah but like it was in a row of the same kind of houses like the ones yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah everybody kind of lives in sort of the same house on top of it yeah everybody's in the same house yeah different stuff on the porch or on the terrace that's how you know it's yours yeah and everybody acts like theirs is fancier than the next one it's just the same piece yeah i i don't know i miss queens i miss queens
Guest:I love it.
Guest:I still go back a lot.
Guest:I like to go see my friends.
Guest:It's just really hard for me.
Guest:It really is.
Marc:So when did you start realizing that you wanted to do the comedy?
Marc:I mean, like, was it directly related to you getting in fucking trouble all the time or what?
Guest:I went to school for acting when I went to that Frank Sinatra school.
Guest:After high school, though?
Guest:No.
Guest:I went to college for a year to a college that closed.
Really?
Guest:What college is that?
Guest:Dowling College in Long Island.
Guest:It closed.
Guest:My college closed, Mark.
Marc:While you were there?
Guest:No, not while I was there, but afterwards.
Guest:Everyone's got to go home.
Guest:My credits are deleted, though.
Guest:Really?
Guest:I don't know where to fucking get them.
Guest:The school's closed.
Guest:I'm not going back.
Marc:It's too late now.
Marc:No, I know, but you would think there'd be some record of you doing something.
Marc:You just were there a year?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And you took that as a sign?
Guest:And once again, out of my parents' eyesight, I was on fire out there.
Guest:What does that mean, on fire?
Guest:I was driving with no license.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, no, we were living dangerous.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It was crazy.
Marc:Like what?
Marc:Like crazy drugs, booze.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Driving around.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Putting life on, putting your life on the line.
Marc:There was some things.
Guest:Yeah, absolutely.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And we, the Dowling was in like this summertime.
Guest:We'd just go steal somebody's boat.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So you had all the Richies coming down with their stuff.
Guest:But then they would leave.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And then we'd just go take the boat.
Marc:Go take the fucking boat.
Marc:Take the boat for a spin.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Leave it somewhere.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Ruin it.
Guest:Not ruin it, but I mean, leave it somewhere it wasn't supposed to be.
Guest:Never got busted then.
Guest:No.
Guest:For stealing the boat.
Marc:Nope.
Marc:But- So then left there.
Marc:But you weren't the kind of guy that was like on a death trip, it doesn't sound like.
Guest:No, I was just trying to have a lot of fun.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Um-
Marc:Stealing boats.
Guest:One or two.
Guest:You're saying boats like we did this every day.
Guest:No, just in the summer.
Guest:But that was the type of town, too, where people would leave their keys in their car.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Take a car.
Guest:I can get to 7-Eleven and then walk back.
Guest:That's fun.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So when do you start...
Marc:So you go to college for a year and then you, what, did you realize in college that you wanted to do stage shit or what?
Guest:No, I tried to, I wanted to join the Coast Guard.
Marc:Oh yeah, what happened with that?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That was the military idea?
Guest:Yeah, so I was going to join the Coast Guard.
Marc:Was he busting your balls about it?
Guest:Not really, but I knew I just couldn't drop out of college and come home.
Marc:Because he wouldn't take it?
Guest:No, that would not have been a situation.
Guest:So I tried to join the Coast Guard.
Guest:I knew a kid that had from my high school.
Guest:His name was Devin.
Guest:And Devin came back while I was a senior in the whole outfit.
Guest:It's only like a two-year run, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's shorter.
Guest:And then he was also like being like, yo, you can still smoke blunts, you know, when the drug test is coming.
Guest:I was like, oh, this is dope.
Guest:Go down to Miami, smoke blunts and catch Cubans.
Guest:Like I didn't understand.
Guest:And I went to, I went as far as going to the medical, it's called MEPS and it's in Brooklyn and it's on a fort.
Guest:And I went through the whole process and then they went back through my medical history and I had seizures when I was a kid.
Guest:you did and they never figured out why and um they basically made me go ahead and get a cat scan and that's when they found like a spike in my brain wave and they said that's like probably why i have such tough times reading huh yeah yeah and this is like you're 19 19 i had failed english my whole entire high school career everybody but i said i went to high school when you can still call somebody dumb right so they're just like he's dumb that's fine it's got problems what do you want
Guest:Maybe you'll find a good job where he doesn't have to read.
Guest:So I was so like, once that happened, my homie Dylan Hall, his parents owned Hall Carpets and they gave me a job.
Guest:So I was laying carpet just like my dad.
Guest:And that's when I started comedy.
Guest:When you failed the Coast Guard test.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So that's weird to find out that, you know, there's an explanation.
Marc:I didn't fail the test.
Marc:I failed the physical.
Marc:The medical, yeah.
Marc:But sorry, man.
Marc:No worries.
Marc:You nailed it.
Marc:The physical stuff, all the other stuff, man, nailed it.
Guest:Had no control over what he failed.
Guest:Dude, the military gave me a CAT scan.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But how'd that make you feel, though, after being who you were for so many years and then there's an explanation for it?
Marc:But it's not a chronic condition, it's just a thing?
Marc:It's just a thing.
Marc:A glitch?
Marc:I guess.
Marc:And that's what caused your dyslexia?
Marc:That's what they're saying.
Marc:How does a dyslexia manifest itself?
Marc:You can't focus or you can't put words together?
Guest:Both.
Guest:And then my writing, I'll think I wrote something and it's completely not that.
Guest:Is that how you got the act?
Guest:Somewhat.
Guest:I'm going to go spin about that after this.
Guest:That was amazing.
Guest:I thought I was writing something else.
Guest:It came out okay.
Guest:No, it's a good thing.
Guest:No, I don't write like that.
Guest:No?
Guest:No.
Guest:Me neither.
Guest:Really?
Guest:No, I don't write.
Guest:Oh, I would take you as a writer.
Marc:No, I work it all out on stage.
Marc:That's awesome.
Marc:Yeah, don't you?
Marc:Is that what you do?
Marc:Yeah, I mean, I can tell.
Marc:When you do long form stuff,
Marc:You know, you just kind of keep running it until it falls into place.
Marc:That's always been the way I do it.
Marc:I'll write down ideas, words, a list, you know, things that aren't funny, but I want to remember.
Marc:And then you just, the only problem with working like that is you forget a lot of good shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You miss those small tags that like hit in certain places.
Guest:And I hate watching myself too.
Marc:Me too.
Marc:I'll record myself all the time.
Marc:I like, I've been on the road for months now putting this hour together.
Marc:I haven't listened to one.
Marc:I must have 60 fucking sets.
Marc:And I'm like, that's a good one.
Marc:I don't make a note like this part of this set was good.
Marc:That's all we would have to do, man.
Marc:Like this one.
Marc:Remember Friday night in Seattle because this bit worked good.
Marc:Just make that note.
Marc:No.
Marc:I didn't listen to any of it.
Marc:Yeah, same here.
Marc:And then I got to do Town Hall next month.
Marc:That's going to be great.
Marc:What a room.
Marc:I haven't done it.
Marc:It's the coolest.
Marc:Are you doing it for the festival?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Awesome.
Marc:It's like I'm downsizing because I like it better.
Marc:I did Carnegie and I've done the Beacon.
Marc:And I wanted to do Town Hall primarily because, I don't know, I don't need that many.
Marc:I like it.
Marc:You know, 1500 is enough.
Marc:Is that what Town Hall is?
Marc:Maybe a little more.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Maybe a little more, like 16, 17.
Marc:What's bigger, Carnegie or Beacon?
Yeah.
Marc:They're about the same.
Marc:I think Carnegie's like 24, 25.
Marc:I think the Beacon's like 22-ish.
Marc:Yeah, but it starts to get too big to me.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:For me.
Guest:Because I like to have that- You don't ever have the garden dream?
Marc:No, no, I don't.
Marc:Really?
Marc:No.
Marc:Oh.
Marc:See, I definitely, I've talked to who else?
Marc:I was talking to Hasan Minhaj.
Marc:You know, there's definitely a type of mindset around comedy that I do not have.
Marc:Like what?
Marc:The garden dream.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:I do not have that.
Marc:You know, for me, like a nice theater, reasonable size, where I can still get, you know, where I don't have to change my pace or feel like I'm leading a rally.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:is really where I'm at.
Marc:I don't know what I'd tell an entire garden.
Marc:I mean, I did the Oddball Festival, and that's like 23,000.
Marc:But then all you're doing, it's literally you're just sort of like, I want to experience this.
Marc:I don't want to do this every night.
Marc:Because then when you do like 23,000 people, you got to figure out which joke lands hard and is short.
Marc:So I can kind of go bing, go bing.
Marc:There you go.
Marc:Wait five minutes for 20,000 people.
Marc:To stop clapping.
Marc:Yeah, whatever.
Marc:And then move on to the next thing.
Marc:It's something I like knowing that I can do, but it's not my dream.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:There you go.
Marc:Do you understand?
Marc:I do.
Guest:I do.
Guest:You got me worked up.
Marc:So tell me about this quest for power that you have then.
Marc:You want the garden.
Marc:I just need control, Mark.
Guest:It's all about control.
Guest:Yeah, well, that's what happens when you grow up in insanity.
Guest:You're just trying to manage.
Guest:Yeah, I need 23,000 people to like me because one man didn't.
Marc:The world, man.
Marc:That's how it all starts.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Both for good and bad.
Marc:That's interesting.
Marc:I don't know if I ever thought about it like that before.
Marc:Because I know a lot of dudes, a lot of guys in comedy that had absent fathers, shitty fathers, whatever it is.
Marc:But the father thing, you know, that approval and that love or that not forthcoming, that leads to a lot of good and bad things.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You seek it through other people, too.
Marc:Yeah, I grew up like that.
Marc:Yeah, just because my dad was nuts and a little detached.
Marc:You're like, oh, this guy seems like he'd be a good dad.
Marc:You had a few of those?
Marc:I have my best friend's dad was like around a lot.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, that's nice.
Marc:Did you ever have that horrible conversation where, why can't you be more like so-and-so's dad?
Marc:No, I get punched in the mouth.
Marc:Yeah, we had a-
Marc:We had one of those.
Marc:No punching, just a whole family of crying people.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:Also, why don't you go live with them?
Guest:Oh, that was my favorite.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:That and if you go to jail, I'm not getting you out.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, we were told that a lot.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That was the big lesson?
Guest:Mm-hmm.
Guest:So what'd your friend's dad do?
Guest:He owned the carpet company that I ended up working for.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah, and he also was... My best friend was at my acting school with me, but we also played baseball.
Guest:But you knew him when you were a kid?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh.
Guest:Did your dad work for him?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, wow.
Marc:At one point, yeah.
Marc:So it's all tight together.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So when you start going to...
Marc:This Frank Sinatra school, I'm sorry.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I'd never heard of it, and I'd like to know more about the Frank Sinatra school.
Guest:Tony Bennett started it.
Guest:Seinfeld spoke at our first graduation.
Guest:It was really cool.
Guest:I got to meet very famous people and workshop with them.
Guest:It was a really crazy experience.
Marc:And you started there when you were 18, 19?
Guest:I went there when I was 13.
Guest:Oh, so this is- That's a high school.
Guest:Oh, this was the high school.
Guest:Half the day was high school, half the day was acting.
Guest:Oh, no shit.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:So what was the curriculum then?
Marc:So you'd spend, you'd do the math and the whatever in the morning and then just go over to Long Island City and do that?
Guest:No, we would do it in the same place.
Guest:Oh, okay.
Guest:Yeah, it's all connected in one school, and you do your daytime schoolwork.
Guest:So that was your high school.
Guest:Yeah, and the other half of your day was just learning about the arts, and I had failed English so many times by the junior year, I had to be taken out of the arts program, so I only went for school, basically.
Guest:My parents didn't want me to relocate to our local school, so I stayed at Sinatra.
Marc:But what happened when you got taken out of the arts?
Marc:Wasn't that what you were there for?
Guest:Yeah, I had to figure out how to graduate on time.
Guest:Oh, but what were you doing, theater and stuff?
Guest:Yeah, that's all I did.
Guest:Everybody went for one subject, and I went for theater.
Marc:And it became an obstacle to not be able to read the scripts and shit, or what?
Guest:Yeah, I have a really bad time with memorization and stuff like that.
Guest:But you knew you liked being on stage.
Guest:I loved being on stage.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And who'd you get to work with like there?
Guest:Awesome people.
Marc:They'd come in and like, was it like, was it a situation like they were doing charity?
Guest:Not even, but like Billy Joel and Tony Bennett put out an album together while I was in school and we used to like go with them to Good Morning America to like help promote the CD and whatnot.
Guest:They'd be like, the kids from Frank Sinatra School of Arts.
Guest:And then we'd go fucking skip and smoke weed in Central Park, man.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I was like jaded by the time I left.
Guest:Kevin Spacey spoke at my high school graduation.
Guest:Yeah, the old Kevin Spacey?
Guest:Yeah, the one we liked.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, not the new one.
Guest:That would be weird.
Guest:Before we knew the truth of the Kevin Spacey?
Guest:Yeah, Bruce Willis.
Guest:They've always had awesome names come in and speak at the school.
Guest:And did you get to meet Tony Bennett?
Guest:Yeah, he was around a lot.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:He was around a lot.
Guest:Nice guy?
Guest:His wife was my teacher.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Good guy?
Guest:Great guy.
Guest:How could that guy not be a great guy?
Guest:So nice, so charming.
Guest:Everything about him was incredible.
Guest:Now, Billy Joel seems a little rough.
Guest:He wasn't really around us too much.
Guest:Yeah, like he would just use us.
Guest:He seemed like a little cranky.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Throw the kids out there.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:But Willis and Seinfeld was there.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Lady Gaga, after I graduated, her and Tony would do a bunch for the school.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:She kind of fascinates me.
Guest:I know what I love about her.
Guest:What?
Guest:I can see her and not know it's her.
Guest:I don't know what she looks like.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I have no clue what Lady Gaga looks like.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:But I think she's so cool.
Marc:I do too.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:There are certain women performers where I don't listen to her music regularly, but I'm very impressed with them.
Marc:Like Adele.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I decided the other day that I love Adele.
Guest:Oh, you're a Adele fan now.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I have one record, but there's something about her presence.
Marc:And the way she carries herself publicly, I'm sort of like, all right, I'm on board.
Marc:I'm in.
Marc:Yeah, like that's unique.
Marc:Yeah, join the rest of the fucking world.
Marc:So when do you first do like actual standup?
Guest:19 and bring her show at New York Comedy Club.
Guest:Yeah, but I wrote a set when I was really young.
Guest:Like I physically wrote it.
Guest:It was on like a yellow piece of paper.
Guest:I was really young because I remember my mom found it and she's like, what is this?
Marc:How long did it take you?
Guest:A year?
Guest:One of the jokes was about not being banged by Michael Jackson.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Like I was maybe like 13, 14.
Guest:Had you just watched?
Guest:I used to come home and my older brother would love The Daily Show and we would just watch the half hours until The Daily Show came on.
Guest:Oh, on Comedy Central or whatever?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Because we'd be home until our parents were done with work by ourselves.
Guest:So we'd just sit there and watch Comedy Central and watch all the half hours.
Guest:So that's why- Dude, Nick Griffin?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oof, I can do that half hour back and forth.
Guest:Him of all people?
Guest:I loved his half hour.
Guest:He was great.
Guest:He's still around, isn't he?
Guest:I see Nick all the time.
Guest:I love Nick.
Guest:Yeah, that's good.
Marc:It's nice that Nick Griffin's got a diehard fan.
Marc:No, are you kidding me?
Marc:He's one of the best writers in New York City.
Marc:Yeah, I mean, he's always been there, man.
Marc:I mean, he's like from my group, I think, probably.
Marc:And I think he's a little underappreciated, so I'm sure he's the man.
Marc:Love hearing that.
Marc:Is there a group of people that think Nick Griffin's the man?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, good.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:All the young guys love Nick.
Guest:He's always been a gentleman.
Guest:He's always nice and he kills.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he's got that one tone.
Guest:Doesn't shift.
Marc:All jokes.
Marc:Right?
Guest:Blowing on his hair.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, I remember I interviewed him years ago.
Marc:I know.
Marc:I've watched.
Marc:Yeah, that one.
Marc:Yeah, it's a good one.
Guest:It's a dark one.
Marc:It is.
Marc:It is a dark one.
Marc:He's a dark guy.
Marc:But you're writing.
Marc:Well, you must have been really committed to it because you don't like to write.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So you wrote it out.
Marc:Like this weird thing when I was young.
Marc:Yeah, I had this.
Guest:13 or 14 years old.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And you're watching the half hours and you're like, you know, some part of you thought you could do it.
Marc:And then it took me another five years.
Marc:That's how Judd was sort of like, I like this guy.
Marc:He loves it.
Marc:Anyone who stayed at home after school with no parents and watched comedy, that's his guy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Guest:Well, that's his life.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know?
Guest:No, there's crazy.
Guest:Me and Judd relate in weird ways.
Guest:That's crazy.
Guest:Yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:There's a lot of it.
Guest:Well, I mean, yeah, I could definitely see that.
Marc:So...
Marc:But you don't do it at the theater school.
Marc:You don't try stand-up there.
Guest:No.
Guest:We were not learning stuff like that.
Guest:The closest thing we got to do there to that was improv.
Guest:And I was dirty at improv.
Guest:I was awesome.
Guest:That was my favorite thing to do.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:But then we had to take breathing classes and we had to take speech classes and all this theater shit that I got so jaded to and I was so immature at that time to even learn anything like that.
Guest:By the time I left the school, I was like, fuck this.
Guest:I'm never doing it again.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, but I think some of it set in.
Marc:I think some of it stuck.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:Because, I mean, you do have a certain composure that, you know, is antithetical to the streets you come from.
Marc:I mean, maybe you just learn that.
Marc:But you do seem to have gotten some humility and some smarts along the way.
Guest:It came, the humility and the rest of that came after my mom died.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I was untouchable before that.
Guest:really just like fuck you well not even that my mom was hyping me up too oh really oh she was my number one fan yeah yeah she don't take shit from nobody like yeah tough yeah i didn't get new faces yeah um and my mom like wrote a whole fucking like facebook thing like cursing out jeff singer like no joke like yeah we like and she was like you're gonna get variety top 10 and then when i did i brought my mom to montreal
Guest:That's insane.
Guest:So wait, so all this time- My mom used to beg to be my manager.
Guest:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But you didn't take her up on it?
Guest:No, no shot.
Marc:But so from the get-go when you wanted to do art, your father was probably like, what the fuck's this kid doing?
Marc:But your mom was into it?
Guest:Well, my brother was an incredible baseball player.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And it was just, you know, the second kid's now doing theater.
Guest:Yeah, right.
Guest:So it did feel a certain way.
Guest:Did he bully you?
Guest:No.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I would say, yeah.
Marc:Well, you weren't, like he couldn't call you a pussy really, right?
Guest:Yeah, he did.
Marc:Yeah?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But I mean, you seem like you're a scrappy guy.
Guest:Yeah, I'll scrap, but at the same time, like I, like, yeah, I wasn't, my dad was the toughest man in the world.
Guest:He was the biggest guy.
Guest:He was, yeah.
Guest:So yeah, in a way he was a bully.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:And his biggest thing was he hates bullies and liars.
Guest:A bully and a liar.
Guest:Yeah, that's the way it goes, man, right?
Marc:As he put it out on the other person.
Marc:That ain't me.
Marc:It's so transparent though, isn't it?
Marc:It's weird.
Marc:I mean, when they do that, it's like, but it's you.
Marc:You gotta own that shit in yourself at some point if you got it in you.
Marc:Absolutely.
Marc:I mean, you must have at some point realized like, oh fuck, I'm becoming this guy.
Guest:Yeah, and I was doing that in comedy.
Guest:I was doing that in comedy.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:I was very aggressive.
Guest:On stage or off?
Guest:Both.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:When you started?
Guest:I looked at it as a competition.
Guest:If me and you were on a show, I didn't want anybody to know your name when I got off stage.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:You're going to crush.
Guest:Going to erase that guy.
Guest:Yep.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:See, I had that mindset for a long time.
Marc:Like, I don't know that I was ever like that.
Marc:I was more the guy going like, oh, fuck.
Marc:What am I going to do after this shit?
Marc:You know what?
Marc:This guy's like, oh, man, they're not going to like me.
Marc:Like, I was so self-involved.
Marc:It was never a competition.
Marc:Always a competition.
Marc:No, I was always in my own competition.
Guest:And I think Larry Wilmore helped me with that a lot where I realized there's enough room for everybody.
Guest:Yeah, I realized that, too.
Marc:But I was never sure that there was necessarily enough room for me.
Marc:But it wasn't something I was fighting for.
Marc:I was just trying to stay.
Marc:You didn't think you were even in the room?
Marc:No, I did.
Marc:But I always felt like I was always hard on myself.
Marc:So it wasn't like, fuck.
Marc:I'd say, fuck that guy, fuck this guy.
Marc:But ultimately, I was just like, how am I going to get out from under me beating the shit out of myself to fucking do that?
Marc:You were that aware?
Marc:Yeah, kind of.
Marc:That you were doing that to yourself?
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:That's impressive.
Marc:Well, it took a while to realize I'm just setting myself up to fail.
Marc:How old are you when this is happening?
Marc:Who the fuck knows?
Marc:I didn't get really comfortable on stage until I was in my 40s.
Marc:I was pretending the whole time.
Marc:But there was that idea of this is going to suck.
Marc:To this day, if a comic gets on who went on before me and walks up and goes, they're a great crowd, I'm like, fuck.
Marc:I never take that as meaning for me.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:In my mind, it's like, it's a great crowd for you.
Marc:I'm a different animal.
Marc:We'll see what happens out there.
Marc:And it's almost like, watch me fuck it up.
Marc:My favorite thing to say is we'll see.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:We'll see.
Marc:Yeah, we'll see how this goes.
We'll see.
Marc:But so when you do, how was the first show?
Marc:Who was around?
Marc:What was the- Bringers.
Marc:Right, but did you have comic friends?
Marc:I mean, you just decided to go do it?
Marc:Yeah, go do it.
Marc:And you just looked and figured it out?
Guest:My friends thought I was fucking crazy, man, because all my friends at this point are in college.
Guest:I'm in a college that's now closing.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I have left a club that had- One of my best friends to this day had to take time away from me because he really just thought I was losing my goddamn mind.
Guest:Really?
Guest:And yeah, he thought I was just going down the wrong path.
Guest:With the comedy.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But your mom was always into it.
Guest:Yeah, but she really wanted me to act.
Marc:Oh, okay.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But she saw a way through?
Marc:I mean, it kind of leads to that.
Guest:I think stand-up, the thing about stand-up that opened her eyes to it and whatnot was how accessible...
Guest:these comics were, these famous people.
Guest:They're very accessible in this game.
Marc:They're around and you're in the same room as them.
Guest:And she's coming to bringers.
Guest:Oh, she is?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:She's coming to bringers.
Guest:Real team mom.
Guest:And they're sprinkling pros in.
Guest:So now she's like, oh, that guy was in a commercial.
Guest:Ricky, you could be in a commercial.
Guest:They're just so didn't understand how it played.
Marc:I saw that guy in a local lotto commercial.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:So everything felt so close.
Guest:So I was so competitive about getting anything.
Marc:So what were you doing?
Marc:Just tight jokes?
Marc:Just slammers?
Marc:Like shock value or what?
Guest:I tell stories.
Marc:It was all stories?
Guest:Always stories?
Guest:Yes and no.
Guest:A lot of it...
Marc:Because that's a very specific thing.
Marc:I think when you look at somebody like Nick, you learn that everything needs to punch, but if you're a storyteller, you can't get out from under that, and there's a risk to storytelling.
Marc:Because you could be 10 minutes in and be like,
Guest:This is not working right now.
Guest:This worked better in Atlanta.
Guest:And you can't eject.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, it's like, I'm going to have to ride this out.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:No, I think the most important thing that happened to me was I started working at a comedy club.
Guest:And working at a comedy club- Which one?
Guest:I made a Broadway comedy club on 53rd Street.
Guest:Yep.
Guest:The Al Martin?
Guest:Yep.
Guest:And I worked there for three years.
Guest:The one in the basement?
Guest:Yep.
Guest:That echoey, shitty room?
Guest:Dude, I painted the ceiling of that basement.
Guest:I used to do the most odd jobs for that man.
Guest:You have no clue.
Guest:Well, he was one of those guys.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:If you worked for Al Martin, you could be driving or-
Guest:Yeah, you could be.
Guest:Cooking the thing or trying to.
Guest:His dentist is doing 15 minutes.
Guest:Deal with that guy, that weird dude, Steve, who worked at the.
Guest:Aaron's.
Guest:Is that the guy?
Guest:Yeah, I know exactly.
Guest:That was the first person to put me on stage at my bringer, dude.
Guest:Wait, the dude with the muscles?
Guest:Yeah, the little muscled gay guy.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:He used to cook the stuff in the oven.
Marc:Yep.
Guest:I love that you know him.
Guest:Of course they know him.
Guest:So yeah, so I used to work in between those clubs.
Marc:The thing about Al is like, we're adding a third room to New York.
Marc:I'm like, where?
Marc:The closet.
Marc:We just opened the closet.
Marc:We got four seats, so you can do three sets at the... What are you fucking times?
Marc:Not a room?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And my deal with him was as long as I was working there, I was also allowed to do all the shows.
Guest:The fucking bathroom with the sliding door at New York?
Yeah.
Marc:The fuck was that?
Guest:The new owner has killed it.
Guest:It's great.
Guest:Have you been to the new one?
Guest:The New York's still there?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:I'm like, what is it, 22nd?
Guest:23rd.
Guest:23rd?
Guest:No, 24th between second and third.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:It's good?
Guest:He has two clubs now.
Guest:He took over Eastville, this kid.
Marc:Oh, Eastville's all right.
Marc:Emilio Savone.
Marc:But that back room in both, that room in the back room, the big room in New York and Eastville, that got that bad sound, that bouncy bullshit sound in there.
Marc:I'm very sensitive to that shit.
Marc:Eastville should have been great, but it was like working in a goddamn bathroom, like tile walls, tile floor.
Guest:Yeah, it's better.
Guest:It's better.
Guest:So you were an Al Martin guy.
Guest:I was an Al Martin guy.
Guest:He gave me work.
Guest:He got me out of laying carpet and he would just give me odd jobs to do around the club.
Guest:I've done everything from waitering to bartending to painting the ceiling of the goddamn place.
Guest:And you could do how many spots a week?
Guest:I mean, he had three showrooms at that time.
Guest:So I was doing three shows a night at least.
Guest:And then I was very eager to get out.
Guest:And once again, I was lucky enough to be able to tell the difference between good comedy and bad comedy.
Guest:So I'd watch Nick Griffin come in.
Guest:I'd watch Mike Vecchione, Greer Barnes, like the guys that would go and do that club.
Marc:It's so funny that like those are guys that most people, if you're not New York, would know.
Marc:They wouldn't know him.
Marc:Do you know what I mean?
Guest:I mean, Vecchione is one of the best.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's unbelievable.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And Greer's always kills.
Guest:He murders.
Marc:I know.
Marc:He's been around for as long as I have.
Marc:He used to host a room up in the west side, the upper west, like up by Columbia, up near Harlem.
Marc:He used to run a room up there when I was starting out, dude.
Marc:I just can't imagine him running a room.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:No, he used to be there the whole time.
Marc:I can't remember.
Marc:I don't think it was called West Side, but there were all these rooms in New York that you just run and do, and he was definitely the regular guy at one of them.
Marc:Uptown.
Marc:Maybe it was Uptown.
Guest:But these guys were always good to me.
Guest:Even though I was like an annoying little kid, they would answer all my questions.
Guest:They would not stop.
Guest:They were always so good to me.
Guest:And I'm one of these people that am not afraid to ask questions.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:Aziz at the beginning, like when he was human giant and all that stuff and funny people was happening, like at the bottom of his website, he had an email.
Guest:I just wrote him a full email.
Guest:He wrote me back and I just kept in touch with him for, and now we're friends.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But you weren't a UCB guy.
Guest:You weren't doing any of that.
Guest:No, fuck that.
Guest:I know, yeah.
Guest:Those people left that too.
Guest:Lone Wolf, man.
Guest:No, it's not even that.
Guest:It's just like where you come up from where I come up.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:I'm like not.
Guest:You saw that as sort of.
Guest:There's minimal Brooklyn rooms that book Ricky Velez.
Guest:Right, right, right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So you got a chip on your shoulder about that.
Guest:What, my parents didn't have money to send me to improv class?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:There's something about that.
Marc:Well, no, I mean, but I'm different with it.
Marc:I mean, I have the same chip, but it's not because of money.
Marc:It's just because it's sort of... There just seems to be... It's like there's a warrior element to doing stand-up.
Marc:It's like, we're out there on our own, cutting through the forest.
Guest:No, I...
Guest:I just think the system stuff is weird.
Guest:Like you're supposed to do stuff a certain way.
Guest:You got to go to different levels.
Guest:That's where the chip on the shoulder comes because there is no right way of doing this stuff.
Guest:And these people act like there's no, but yeah, but like, that's what I'm saying.
Marc:You come from a traditional of a tradition of New York, kind of a street smart edge where, you know, you've got to do the job.
Marc:You know, you're not going to dance around with three other guys, you know, trying to find a, you know, the riff.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:And I was never a good collaborator.
Marc:I mean, it's just sort of like, you know, I know what I know what stand up is just me.
Marc:I go do the thing.
Marc:No one else is showing up.
Marc:There's a mic there.
Marc:I'm good.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I like that.
Guest:I always like it.
Marc:I think it's a control thing again.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right.
Marc:Most likely anger and control.
Marc:You my dad.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:We're all your dad, dude.
Guest:that's why you're here that's why you're a stand up we're all your dad so that's terrible imagine he was a stand up so you're there and you're learning from these guys and then like I was so eager to get out and like Vecchione turned to me and he was like yo just stay here until you have a great act stay here and don't go out and he was completely right and then I got into the comic strip and Caroline's and all those clubs within three months after three years of just pounding
Marc:yeah yeah yeah and then so you were you could go you could on a weekend you could make a few hundred bucks in the city i was hosting a lot uh-huh i was hosting a lot so yeah yeah the comic strip was hosting the hell out of me oh that's good yeah and i loved it well that well that really gets you enables you to work out yeah right yeah and also get off like okay that joke didn't quite land but here's this guy yeah enjoy charade smalls everybody he'll pull it back around
Guest:so uh did that loved it um and then from there that's why i met larry and that's my first where'd he see you caroline's oh yeah was it an audition no i actually wasn't even set up to be on the auditions of the nightly show yeah yeah and uh he just saw you he came in uh yeah on his own uh to i think it was comics to watch i was on
Guest:And then I started featuring.
Guest:And then once I started featuring, that was, yeah.
Guest:In New York or on the road?
Guest:First person I ever featured for was Michael Che.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:And it was his first year at SNL.
Guest:His first sold out weekend.
Guest:Did he take you out on the road?
Guest:Not out on the road, no.
Guest:Oh.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like at Caroline's or something?
Guest:Yeah, I featured for him at Caroline's, then ended up at The Cellar.
Guest:And once I was at The Cellar, it was, once I was on The Nightly Show and at The Cellar, I was just on fire.
Guest:Right.
Marc:So how many episodes, how many years did The Nightly Show last?
Marc:I don't even know.
Guest:Like two?
Marc:So you did a lot.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And was it raising your profile?
Marc:Did people know you from the show?
Guest:It had a very niche market, but like San Francisco, great for me.
Guest:Denver, great for me.
Guest:There was just certain pockets and then other pockets.
Guest:Denver's great.
Guest:Yeah, Denver's my favorite place to possibly do comedy outside of New York.
Guest:Yeah, it's like cheating.
Guest:At the Comedy Works downtown?
Guest:That's my favorite place in the world.
Marc:Yeah, why not?
Marc:Of course it is.
Marc:You leave like, you know, I'm a genius.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Then you go to Atlanta.
Marc:You're like, how come that joke didn't work as well?
Marc:Why am I in a diner?
Marc:Yeah, that room is incredible.
Marc:But did somebody eventually take you out on the road with them?
Guest:Well, me and Pete Davidson are very close friends.
Guest:When did you get friendly with that guy?
Guest:He was 16.
Guest:I was 20.
Guest:Where'd you meet him?
Guest:Doing prom shows for Al Martin.
Guest:He was 16.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, interesting.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:So that's you, Madam, doing that.
Marc:That's fucking, that's the worst.
Marc:All right, this show's going to be at three in the morning.
Marc:You're going to get $20 maybe.
Marc:Yeah, and then just the limos show up, drunk fucking high school kids getting out.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And they're all sitting at the fucking worst.
Guest:so pete was like the first one touring like hard um off of like guy code and then snl uh-huh and that he took you out with him yeah we ran out together it was great well at that point weren't you like stronger than him as a stand-up um for a while it was just me and him going up to the poconos doing bob levy's rooms
Guest:Oh, okay.
Marc:So it wasn't like, you know, he wasn't doing theaters or anything.
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:That's not until I'm on the nightly show and he's on the SNL.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And, uh, he was a few years in and it was the end of the nightly show.
Guest:We did like a bus tour.
Guest:Oh, so you, so you guys are basically doing the same time out there.
Marc:No, he's headlining.
Guest:Oh yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:How was that?
Marc:How was a young Pete Davidson as a headliner?
Guest:Great.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Did he just riff?
Guest:no no his first special is strong yeah yeah yeah the comedy central one yeah it's strong yeah yeah so we we just we were just good friends too and he's another new york guy he got it yeah he got it from the beginning speak the same language yeah yeah yeah no he's a great guy we had a very interesting uh conversation in your conversation you ask him who his friends are and he says ricky vlez and you go i don't know him yeah i was like all right cool i gotta get there one day
Guest:That's been spinning in my head for five years.
Guest:Oh God, I'm glad you got closure on that.
Marc:Well, I mean, like I said at the beginning, it's like, it's hard for me to know.
Marc:But like when I watch you, I'm like, oh, well shit, you know, this guy's been out.
Marc:I don't know why I don't know him, but now I know him.
Marc:And then I remember from the movie, I saw the movie.
Marc:I can't remember if I saw King of Staten Island in an, like if Judd made me watch a one.
Marc:A screener?
Marc:A screener that wasn't quite done.
Marc:So it was like nine hours long.
Marc:I think I might've seen a nine hour long one.
Guest:Judd's the best person that has been introduced into my life.
Guest:Funny guy, too.
Guest:And a decent man.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Good family man, too.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:No, he's a great guy.
Marc:And I actually, when he started doing stand-up again, I was sort of one of the guys like, really?
Marc:Is he really, he's going to come back and just start taking stage time?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:The billionaire who hasn't done standup in 30 years.
Marc:But he's such a great writer and he did it the real way.
Marc:He didn't take any liberties.
Marc:He just got on the schedule, did his fucking work.
Marc:And he loves it.
Marc:He's like a kid when he's doing it.
Marc:Oh no, I'll forever love him for that Bill Cosby joke.
Marc:Camille, do you like your life?
Marc:That was the crown jewel.
Marc:That's the one that got you over.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But so you and Pete, you do the movie with Pete.
Marc:And how's Pete doing?
Guest:He's good.
Marc:Good.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Life's cool.
Marc:Because I felt like after our conversation was heavy, he was dealing with the thing, with the borderline stuff.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And then there was a little pushback.
Marc:It seemed like he was like, fuck it, for a while.
Marc:And then there was some concern, and then he leveled off.
Guest:Yeah, he's cool, man.
Guest:Yeah, good.
Guest:He's the man.
Guest:He's just such a good friend.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:He's actually the godfather of my kid.
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:My kid was born on 9-11.
Guest:Oh.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Huh.
Guest:But we should jump back real quick.
Guest:Yeah, naturally.
Guest:He was due the 13th.
Guest:He came out the 11th.
Guest:Pete called it the minute he found out the due date.
Guest:And he was like, if that kid's 9-11, he's my godson.
Guest:I was like, fine, you get that kid.
Guest:Yeah, when did you get married?
Guest:I got married two, three years ago?
Guest:Yeah, two, three.
Marc:You might want to nail that date.
Marc:Three years ago.
Marc:The future.
Guest:We have a few dates.
Guest:I keep marrying my wife.
Guest:You keep marrying her?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Well, you're not sure that it's happening?
Guest:Do you have a dyslexia?
Guest:No, I just, it's so fun.
Guest:We love each other and our friends love it too.
Guest:You just get married every few years?
Guest:Yeah, actually, we're going to be together for 10 years this year.
Guest:We're going out to Vegas and redoing it again.
Guest:And our friend that introduced us has married us every time.
Guest:So when did she come into your life?
Guest:At what point?
Guest:10 years ago.
Guest:So I'm 23.
Guest:No, I'm 22.
Guest:22, 22.
Guest:So right at the beginning of everything?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:How'd you meet her?
Guest:Through my buddy.
Marc:Yeah?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Has she always been on board with the comedy?
Guest:Yeah, but at the same time, you have to get somebody used to this schedule in life and disappointment of not being able to do anything on a Friday, Saturday.
Marc:How about the insecurity and the self-abuse and the doubt and the anger?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:yeah all that the long showers yeah yeah yeah how long you shower it depends what i'm doing in there but uh depends if i wanted to cry that morning exactly
Guest:Oh, you do that, huh?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It's just rough.
Marc:Yeah, I actually don't battle with that too much.
Marc:I'm more of a like, do I jerk off in the shower or do I not?
Marc:Not cry.
Guest:Oh, no, that's not it at all.
Guest:No, for you it's- Yeah, it's like a lot of thinking.
Guest:Oh, no, no.
Marc:Wow, so you're a real spinner, man.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So did you not figure out that you had this horrendous depressive anxiety problem?
Guest:It all piled on after mom died in 2016, yeah.
Guest:And she died on Valentine's Day.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:All my dates are really crazy.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Huh.
Marc:So what...
Guest:what did you do about it when you realized like you know that well i i went really dark right after that i went really dark i was i was walking around with a bag of xanax that i was getting from a guy like i was i was from a doctor or from a guy from a guy oh yeah yeah and just eating the xanax i was uh me and pete when we did that bus tour that was probably the worst i ever was and i'm like very grateful to be here today
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Based on my behavior and what I was taking and the rest of that.
Guest:Did you end up in the hospital?
Guest:No, but I could have.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And what was Pete doing?
Marc:Was he concerned?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Everybody was concerned.
Guest:I mean, even my wife had even like turned to my agents at that time and was like, what the fuck are we doing?
Marc:Why are we letting him do this?
Guest:Yeah, I was back on TV within two weeks of my mom dying out of nowhere.
Guest:So do you feel like you processed a grief though?
Guest:Now I have.
Guest:Now I have, but it took years.
Guest:It took years.
Guest:It took, yeah, it took years.
Guest:Did it take help?
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Huh.
Marc:So what did you have to do to sort of get straight with all that shit?
Marc:Did you go to, like after you, like after the bus tour, did you like get off the pills and figure out I gotta go, you know, see a doc or what?
Guest:I was going to, like the nightly show had just ended all this stuff.
Guest:So like money had stopped.
Guest:So like my idea was like, I was gonna go rehab and then I was just like, oh, well, I don't like have income.
Marc:So why am I gonna go drop 60,000 bucks?
Marc:Yeah, when I can spend it on pills.
Guest:so yeah and i was just uh and then um me and my wife's living situation was really tough at that time because we were we were subletting in a co-op and like where uh 28th and park yeah and they kept uh fining me for what smoky weed and uh the fines were incredibly insane
Marc:yeah in a building like I remember being done on 16th and 3rd and just my neighbor you know like would come knock on the door it's like could you like we can smell it and I have children I'm like yeah it's gonna creep under the door and then kill your kid out of here oh they were lunatics yeah
Guest:So we just, my wife basically was like, this is either, she was not my wife at this point.
Guest:So she was like, you need to figure something out.
Guest:And I weaned myself off the pills, which was now in retrospect, very dangerous.
Guest:And I shouldn't have done that.
Guest:The Xanax?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I just went to smoking weed, and then I went dry for a while, and then I just went back to weed, and I've always been there, and I kept it from shrooms and weed for now on.
Marc:So you never really got diagnosed or treated for anxiety or depression?
Guest:Now I have.
Marc:Oh, you have?
Marc:Now I have, yes.
Guest:And is it better?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's good knowing that I'm not just like believing it and it's like having a doctor say it actually loosens the anxiety.
Guest:Well, did you, did you track it?
Marc:I mean, like, do you feel like, you know, some of it's biological and some of it's just from the chaos of unpredictable parenting and all that shit?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They tried to tell me I have complex PTSD.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You don't like that one?
Guest:That one feels a lot to me because a lot of my friends like went to Iraq.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Oh, I get you.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I think there's a broad spectrum PTSD thing.
Marc:But I think, you know, oddly.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I wonder.
Marc:It's a good question, because I'm starting to think that most problems are trauma related with with people, you know, and I think that because I had this realization not long ago and I talked about on the show that, like, if you're uncomfortable and you're a kid, almost all your memories are shitty.
Marc:Like, you're never going to look back and go, like, that was a great time.
Marc:Because you never feel good.
Marc:You never feel correct.
Guest:So.
Guest:Even playing sports, I remember, like, my older brother, as good as he was about it, like, it's still not a good memory.
Guest:Because a lot of it was just being, like, yelled at.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, right.
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:A bruise will go away and never won't.
Guest:Wow.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But yeah, man.
Marc:So like, I mean, I get the Iraq thing, but the truth is when you're a kid and shit is going down like that, it's got to fuck your brain up pretty good.
Marc:I mean, you're not an adult and, you know, watching people get blown up, you know, sure.
Marc:But I mean, there is, I think, a spectrum to PTSD.
Guest:Yeah, I think is what made me aggressive.
Guest:Like my father's aggressiveness definitely came into me.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:Just wanting to have some sort of control.
Guest:And also like no one will ever disrespect me.
Guest:Like I used to have that really, really bad.
Guest:Now I like laugh shit off, but like, yeah, I used to love to, I'd not love to scrap, but I'd be ready for it.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Did you think you deserved respect?
Guest:Yeah, absolutely.
Guest:You don't speak to me.
Guest:Now you're scaring me.
Guest:No, I'm not.
Guest:But that's how I grew up.
Guest:But that's sort of like macho shit, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:A lot of it was.
Guest:My dad rode Harleys.
Guest:My dad, tough guy, hung out at CBGBs.
Guest:He used to kick it with the Ramones.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Tough guy.
Marc:He was that guy.
Marc:He was the Queens guy.
Guest:Dude, tough guy.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:The Puerto Rican dude with the Harley.
Guest:The Puerto Rican hanging out with- The punk rock guys.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Well, that's cool on some level.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:It is, I guess.
Marc:But now, with a diagnosis like that,
Marc:what do you do about it?
Marc:Do you still have the anxiety?
Marc:Do you still get fucking emotional in the shower?
Guest:I'm an emotional person and I'm okay with that now.
Marc:Okay, so it's self-acceptance that's kind of helping you out.
Guest:Yeah, it has very much helped me out.
Guest:I'm very emotional and I'm totally fine with that.
Marc:Yeah, but that took a while.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:For a long time, I just thought I was a giant pussy.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So you're beating the shit out of yourself.
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Marc:So the little father inside.
Guest:I think having a kid has really helped all of this.
Marc:Yeah, I would imagine.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But isn't that weird how we, like, even though you don't have a relationship with your father and you have the feelings you do that, you internalize them.
Marc:They're in you.
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Marc:And they're always speaking to you.
Marc:You get rid of them.
Marc:You say, fuck you.
Marc:But then he's in there going, like, you suck.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:you pussy yeah right and then you gotta shut loser getting a vaccine you gotta fucking gotta shut that guy up the dad inside you gotta kick his ass yeah so the kid changed everything yeah you wanted the kid everything that was a decided kid me and my wife weren't even married yet
Guest:yeah and we wanted that kid yeah we knew that that's what it is and what he is is everything yeah it's where my pride and joy is now yeah that's great i carried nothing more than like watching my kid do dope shit that i was never able to do it's like right yeah he has a stock portfolio man that's that's the coolest shit in the world isn't it does he know he's three man he can't even say portfolio like it's so don't try to teach him that word yet
Guest:Start with duck, dog, bike.
Guest:No, he's talking plenty.
Guest:He is.
Guest:But today he went swimming in New York City.
Guest:It's crazy to me.
Guest:That's awesome.
Marc:Well, you talk about your wife.
Marc:It sounds like you married some sort of royalty.
Marc:She's the best.
Marc:Yeah, but different economic status.
Marc:Absolutely.
Marc:Yeah?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:What's her family do?
Guest:Her dad was a CFO of a company that he made public.
Marc:Oh, wow.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Now he's retired and he's the man.
Guest:He's so cool and they're so good to me and they're so- What's that ethnic background?
Guest:Jewish.
Guest:Yeah, of course.
Guest:I have a Jewish Puerto Rican Irish kid.
Marc:New York, baby.
Guest:New York.
Guest:The kid, he's great.
Guest:He's so cool, man.
Guest:My kid is so ill.
Guest:Yeah, it's awesome.
Guest:And you get along with the in-laws?
Guest:Love them.
Guest:We lived with them during pandemic for a little bit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, we get along great.
Guest:Look at that.
Guest:You landed on your feet.
Guest:You got some money.
Guest:You're going to be all right.
Guest:Yeah, I met Judd.
Guest:The Jews are taking care of you.
Guest:Yeah, I think I have to convert sooner or later.
Guest:That's how you get in, right?
Guest:You're in.
Guest:I'm in.
Guest:Yeah, you got a kid with one.
Marc:You're in, but it's tentative.
Marc:Don't get too cocky.
Marc:He gets to go to birthright with the last name Velez.
Marc:How sick is that?
Marc:Nice.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Well, wait, was converting ever a thing that you guys discussed?
Marc:No.
Guest:I was a Catholic school.
Guest:I was a Sunday school teacher.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:My mom helped run the program over at Our Lady of Lords.
Guest:Are you an active Jesus guy?
Guest:No.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I do believe in stuff.
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:But at the same time, like, I don't get- Vague stuff?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like, God forbid.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:So the kid comes out on 9-11.
Guest:Kid comes out on 9-11.
Guest:It was nuts.
Guest:Is that good or bad?
Marc:It was incredible.
Marc:There's always going to be something bigger than his birthday.
Marc:That's for sure.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, it's also like Pete's mom, Amy, I love her so much.
Guest:And she's very much in our lives.
Guest:And when she says things like making this a happy day and stuff like that, it just brings...
Guest:And my kid has brought nothing but good things into our lives.
Guest:That's great.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And are you working on something now?
Marc:Has Judd put together an entire show for you to do?
Marc:We are working on something.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Is it based in New York?
Guest:uh no no no it's not um but it's like a uh like a show uh we're moving towards a feature oh a movie okay okay yeah so um we just stay writing and you know i took the whole pandemic to really work that muscle that i've never used before and how do you do it how do you learn how to do it with the dyslexia
Guest:Well, I mean, I definitely learned it on set when he called me and he was like, Hey, you want to punch up this?
Guest:And then he made me a co-producer on the King of Staten Island.
Guest:I sat next to him daily, just writing jokes, putting them on his chair, writing jokes, putting them on his chair.
Guest:Then also going through the script, learning about like, and then like I did all that, which I think a lot of comics can do.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But then during pandemic, like me, Judah Miller and Judd wrote together and I really learned how to write a story.
Guest:Oh yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:From him.
Guest:From them.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Guest:Did you, were you part of that pandemic movie he made?
Guest:I got the punch up.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, but you're not in.
Guest:I didn't go to London.
Guest:No, no, no, no, no, no.
Marc:So he's been kind of leaning on you to go over scripts.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Make it funnier.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Leaning on me.
Guest:He's funnier than I am.
Marc:No, I'm not leaning on you, but like you're, you're a guy.
Marc:He's going to run things by.
Guest:Yeah, we like to talk a lot about funny.
Marc:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Marc:That's interesting.
Marc:So what do you think?
Marc:Obviously, your sensibility is different than his.
Marc:So what is it that you're giving him that he doesn't come up with?
Marc:What's the angle?
Marc:What's he looking to you for?
Guest:I think I write darker.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, I go dark fast.
Guest:It's fun to go there first.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And I just think that...
Guest:I think Judd understands I'm willing to do the work.
Guest:Well, that's important.
Guest:And I like working.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And the movie is for you?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, good.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And you've hashed, you've already whiteboarded it.
Guest:We just write so much that it will fall together.
Guest:But you got the whole story.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:And you can't talk about it yet.
Guest:Come on.
Guest:You know, Judd.
Guest:You said he's a good friend.
Guest:He's probably mad at this point.
Guest:He's not mad.
Guest:He doesn't listen to the show.
Guest:He will listen to this one.
Marc:I promise you that.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:Certainly, that guy, unlike many guys, is a very giving dude.
Marc:And if you're one of the chosen...
Marc:who he sees something in and decides to carry along for the ride, you know, he's made a lot of big stars out of people in both, you know, behind the camera and in front of the camera.
Marc:So there's definitely, you know, wisdom there and something to be learned and it's a real gift that he's giving you.
Marc:So that's great.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And just like as a man and how he treats his family and the rest of that is just like how I want to be with my kid.
Marc:Great.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And so this award goes to Judd Apatow for Lifetime.
Marc:It's good talking to you, man.
Guest:I'm very thankful to be here.
Guest:Thank you.
Marc:Okay, that was me and Ricky.
Marc:New York, baby.
Marc:The new special Here's Everything is now streaming on HBO Max.
Marc:Now play some dirty guitar.
Marc:Not through my Fender Champ, which seems to have fried itself.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:I'll fix it.
Marc:I'll fix it.
Marc:I'll fix it.
.
Guest:.
guitar solo
guitar solo
Marc:Boomer lives.
Marc:Monkey.
Marc:LaFonda.
Marc:Fucking cat angels everywhere.