Episode 1195 - George Wallace
Marc:all right let's do this how are you what the fuckers what the fuck buddies what the fuck nicks what's happening
Marc:I'm Mark Maron.
Marc:This is my podcast.
Marc:Rest in peace, Larry King.
Marc:One of the great interviewers passed away a few days ago.
Marc:We reposted my conversation with him, which was a little tense at the beginning, but then it eased into something kind of great.
Marc:So if you're not familiar with Larry in that way,
Marc:As Larry talking about Larry, it's a nice experience, and we do that here at the shop.
Marc:We repost the talks I had with people who passed away in memory of them.
Marc:It's not something I like to do, but it's something I'm happy to do.
Marc:And it also reminds me of my own life experience, of where I was, what I was doing, 2013, driving to Beverly Hills to talk to Larry King, who was upset with me because we had gotten the times crossed up.
Marc:I thought I was on time.
Marc:He thought I was late.
Marc:But it's a moment in time, and he will be missed, but no one can say he didn't live a full life.
Marc:It's always sad when people pass, but it's...
Marc:a little more understandable when they're old as fuck.
Marc:But, yeah, today on the show I talked to George Wallace, the comedian.
Marc:Probably seen him doing stand-up somewhere.
Marc:Even if you don't watch a lot of stand-up, he's been doing it everywhere for decades.
Marc:Now he's got a renewed popularity because of his Twitter feed.
Marc:He's got a new book out called Bull Twit and whatnot.
Marc:And, yeah, I'll talk to him.
Marc:Sort of amazing.
Marc:I haven't talked to him yet.
Marc:He's a guy that started in New York.
Marc:He's one of these guys.
Marc:You know, when you come up as a comedian, one of the things you deal with, depending on the club, if there's a club that's an old club that's been around for a long time, there are a few comedy clubs that come to mind, certainly the comedy store here in Los Angeles, but like Zaney's in Nashville, where...
Marc:There's just hundreds of headshots of people from back in the day.
Marc:And as a young comic, when you work these clubs, there were more of them back in the day.
Marc:The road clubs that lasted through the 80s that had been there since the beginning.
Marc:And you just walk around looking at these pictures and you wonder like, what the, who's that guy?
Marc:What happened to that guy?
Marc:I used to do a joke about that, about the comedy store.
Marc:When you walk into the comedy store, it's just like hundreds of headshots.
Marc:The gallery of sadness where you play the game.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Whatever happened to that guy?
Marc:Probably ended OK.
Marc:Maybe not, but whatever.
Marc:But I just remember George Wallace's picture at the comic strip in New York, another one of those places where it was just a strange black and white promotional shot of him as a preacher.
Marc:And I always wondered, like, what was that about?
Marc:So that was interesting to talk to him about about that.
Marc:I don't know what's going to happen.
Marc:None of us do.
Marc:I know we feel better now that we've been released from this hostage situation, from this brain fucking that we've had to go through this toxic brain fucking and American fascistic swarm.
Marc:But I do think I have to acknowledge I don't know about you.
Marc:But because of what I've experienced over the last year with the death of someone I loved and the general condition of plague and...
Marc:Donald Trump's presidency is I believe that I am experiencing some PTSD.
Marc:And I think we all are.
Marc:And I think it's ongoing.
Marc:I think we've adapted to this isolating life or to this lockdown life.
Marc:And whoever, you know, however many of you having to go to work every day and live in that, the sort of fear of that.
Marc:Hopefully many of you who need it, who are vulnerable, who are older are getting the vaccine and feeling a little bit more safety.
Marc:But there is a PTSD that we're going to have to get through, I think.
Marc:I don't know where this goes, but I just hope you're taking care of yourself.
Marc:I have begun a meditation practice that I've been told that I should do for years.
Marc:But I've been doing it, and I've added some yoga to it.
Marc:Back in the day, not too far back, but in the last decade, I used to do yoga once a week, some hot flow yoga with Joe at the Hollywood YMCA.
Marc:And I haven't done it in years, but I bought a nice mat and I've got it right next to my bed.
Marc:I get out of bed.
Marc:I do a few sun salutations and then I sit cross legged and I throw on the Headspace app.
Marc:And I don't know if that's I it's weird because I listen to that guy.
Marc:OK, take a few deep breaths.
Marc:Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:He'd give you a little pep talk of some kind.
Marc:Creativity is something we all want to do, but I can't quite do his voice, but I'm finding that, uh, the guided meditation thing, you know, where you're supposed to like, if you have a thought, you know, don't get mad, whatever.
Marc:Get back to your body.
Marc:Get back in your breath.
Marc:But, you know, he's talking.
Marc:It gets to a point with guided meditation where you're like, I was right there, and then you had to, what, tell me to count my breaths?
Marc:Count your breaths up to 10, in and out.
Marc:One, two, three.
Marc:Just pay attention.
Marc:It's like, I was.
Marc:I was in it.
Marc:I was right there.
Marc:I do seem to get there.
Marc:After about 10 minutes of him, when he says, time to open your eyes, I'm like, I just got in it, and now I've been staying in it a little longer.
Marc:Again, I don't know what it does.
Marc:I don't know what it's for.
Marc:I don't know why.
Marc:But I'm doing it because it can't fucking hurt.
Marc:And God knows I have the time.
Marc:And the yoga, I need to stretch because I'm compulsively exercising to maintain my sanity.
Marc:And I'm 57 fucking years old.
Marc:And I wake up and I feel like I'm broken.
Marc:I feel like the entire machine needs fucking oil.
Marc:I feel like, oh, my God, is this the way it's going to be for the rest of it?
Marc:So the yoga is helping.
Marc:The breathing is helping.
Marc:It's all helping.
Marc:But it's weird, isn't it, man?
Marc:It's weird.
Marc:There's a creeping sadness still, isn't there?
Marc:Been watching some movies.
Marc:I've been reading this book.
Marc:Watching the movies that the book is about.
Marc:Watched In the Heat of the Night.
Marc:Sidney Poitier and Rod Steiger.
Marc:Terrific.
Marc:Norman Jewison movie.
Marc:Watched Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, the Stanley Kramer movie.
Marc:A little difficult.
Marc:Watched Bonnie and Clyde, but Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn.
Marc:Wow.
Marc:Spencer Tracy.
Marc:Holy fuck.
Marc:His last movie, Drop Dead, before it came out.
Marc:Just stunning.
Marc:Just amazing.
Marc:Bonnie and Clyde I watched.
Marc:The other two movies that the book's about are...
Marc:The Graduate and Dr. Doolittle.
Marc:What is that book called?
Marc:I'm so fucking bad.
Marc:Pictures at a Revolution.
Marc:I don't know if I'm going to get to Dr. Doolittle, and God knows I've seen The Graduate a lot, but I'm nearing the end of the book, and it's sort of like he's bringing all this together.
Marc:It's sort of kind of talking about the shift in the business, but it's such...
Marc:Great read and great to watch the movies.
Marc:I also watched... What's that new movie?
Marc:Promising Young Woman?
Marc:Is that what it was?
Marc:Promising Young Woman?
Marc:Promising... Yeah.
Marc:With Carey Mulligan and my former GLOW co-stars are in it.
Marc:Chris Lowell, Alison Brie.
Marc:It was a heavy movie.
Marc:It's a disturbing movie.
Marc:It's a dark movie.
Marc:It's a powerful movie.
Marc:It delivers...
Marc:a punch at the end.
Marc:It's kind of sad, but satisfying.
Marc:But I do not know why you would take that story personally and sort of couch it in kind of an indie comedy framework or a slight campiness to it.
Marc:You know, this is like because like sometimes if you if you make a film that is heavy, I mean, this is a a real examination and and revenge tale.
Marc:about toxic masculinity is that what if what if you had played that straight in the way of like what if you just approached it as you know a real a human story without kind of buffering it with this kind of indie campiness I don't know I'm not saying it's a bad movie and and I and I was satisfied at the end of it but I don't know if I'll remember it in the way that I would remember like there's a like there's an old Clint Eastwood movie
Marc:That is similar in theme called Sudden Impact, which, you know, really delivered a message about.
Marc:Female rage around helplessness in the face of abuse.
Marc:And the most toxic.
Marc:Of the masculinity, you know, rape, murder.
Marc:And like, I'll never forget it.
Marc:And this new movie, Promising Young Woman, is great.
Marc:It's well-performed.
Marc:But there's a sheen to it because of the indie campiness that I wonder if it undermines the power of the story.
Marc:You be the judge.
Marc:I'm just talking.
Marc:Little movie review.
Marc:And like a movie review, I enjoyed it.
Marc:It delivered.
Marc:It was satisfying at the end.
Marc:But those are my issues.
Marc:And it doesn't matter.
Marc:Watch it.
Marc:See for yourself.
Marc:All right, listen.
Marc:George Wallace.
Marc:His new book is Bull Twit and Whatnot.
Marc:It is available at georgewallace.net.
Marc:And this is me talking to the comedian George Wallace.
Guest:Can you see me, George?
Guest:I see you very well, man.
Guest:Of course I do.
Guest:Thank you so much.
Guest:Where are you at?
Guest:At ATL.
Guest:I'm in Wakanda.
Marc:Oh, really?
Marc:You're down in Atlanta?
Guest:Yes, sir.
Guest:Is that where you come from?
Guest:I'm born and raised in Atlanta.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And right now, my condo is one mile from where I was born.
Marc:Oh, so you're living down there.
Guest:Well, I live in New York City and I live in Las Vegas and I live in Los Angeles.
Marc:Do you actually have, you own places and all those places?
Guest:I do.
Guest:I own 17 properties.
Guest:I found myself, I didn't do drugs, but I came to an era where I was making a lot of money in 2008, 2009 in Las Vegas.
Guest:And I just found myself buying cheap properties.
Guest:And I really screwed up this time.
Guest:When the market is down, make sure you buy, man.
Guest:You can buy a lot.
Marc:You haven't been buying any new properties?
Guest:No.
Guest:No, I have enough.
Guest:I'm trying to get rid of them now.
Guest:I'm trying to get rid of the property, especially my New York City, because maintenance is a bitch.
Guest:You know, if New York is not your primary address, they add another two and a half percent to your market, to your maintenance.
Marc:Oh, really?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Maintenance and maintenance is high as hell.
Guest:That's what I'm going to sell my place.
Marc:How do they know when you're not living there primarily just because a doorman rats you out?
Marc:How do they know?
Guest:Because when you file your taxes, you have to, you know, you get a New York tax.
Marc:So you're filing in two places.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:So you can't do that.
Guest:So Atlanta, how long you live down there?
Guest:I don't live here.
Guest:I'm just here since quarantine.
Guest:I came down there in March 14.
Guest:You got family?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:All my family, most of my family, my family's all over the world, but I got a lot of family here in Atlanta.
Guest:And so I'm here and I'm pretty strict about quarantining.
Guest:I've been in the house since March 14th.
Guest:Very seldom I go out.
Guest:All my food is delivered to the door.
Guest:My
Guest:really groceries and our deliveries, whatever.
Guest:Uh, uh, I go to the doctor and I'm really scared to go to the doctor.
Guest:I got a shot, man.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, we got the COVID shot.
Guest:Yes, sir.
Guest:Congratulations.
Guest:Thank you so much.
Guest:My dad, I call my doctor.
Guest:I call them all and lied to him.
Guest:I told him, I says, I need a shot.
Guest:ASAP.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And, uh, the first one, nobody could get it.
Guest:And one guy says, I got a dosage.
Guest:If you'd like to come in tomorrow morning at nine 15, we'll, we'll bring you in.
Guest:So I was nine 15.
Guest:I was there.
Guest:And I'm glad I got it.
Guest:I'm in Atlanta, home of the CDC.
Guest:So they're saying get it.
Guest:And a lot of African-American people are still a little shaky about getting it because the experiment we went through many years ago was the simplest trial, the Tuskegee trial.
Marc:The Tuskegee trials, not good.
Guest:And it could be another trial now.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I just know I'm old and I got the shot.
Guest:I want to be in the number.
Marc:Well, we're all in on it now.
Marc:If it's a trial, it's on all of us, George.
Marc:This time we're all going down.
Marc:Did you get the shot?
Marc:No, I'm not old enough, you old fucker.
Marc:You're 60.
Marc:You're 60.
Marc:57, bro.
Marc:57.
Guest:Oh, you're only 57.
Guest:Man, God bless you, man.
Guest:God bless you.
Guest:god bless you so i did it and seinfeld got it on um saturday where'd he get it so he got it in new york city why is he old too how old is he he's 66 oh so he's he's in the age group huh yeah you know it was amazing georgia was like number 50 on the list with worst conditions just couldn't get it it wasn't uh distributed properly but it was around right i mean it was around so you called a few guys and you're like you know a guy's got some
Guest:Well, I called my doctor, and I said, if you know of anything, let me know.
Guest:And through some way, somehow, he got dosages.
Guest:And I went there.
Guest:I'm so stupid.
Guest:My job is to try to write jokes and shit.
Guest:So I'm sitting there, and I'm very cautious about my mask and my shield.
Guest:I wear a mask.
Guest:I wear a shield.
Guest:I wear glasses.
Guest:I wear everything.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Guest:I didn't even, I shouldn't even say this, but I did.
Guest:I cut a fart in the doctor's office and none of his patients have COVID.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Everybody smelt it.
Guest:They got up and walked the fuck out.
Marc:So that's, that was their test for the day.
Marc:If they were, if they were there for a COVID test, they got one from your ass.
Guest:They got one free.
Guest:So I, you know, cause I'd be thinking, I said, you know what, I'm going to open up my own testing sites, you know,
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I shouldn't be doing fart jokes, but but it did work.
Marc:Hey, you know, I talked to another comedian in England about fart jokes.
Marc:Fart jokes have been around since the beginning of time.
Marc:George fart jokes always work no matter how cheap they are.
Marc:Everybody enjoys a fart joke.
Guest:Would you say that again?
Guest:If that's the fact that I don't do fart jokes, why not?
Guest:People laugh at them.
Guest:Your daddy, you grew up and fart jokes have always worked.
Marc:Always, always been there.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And they, I think it just, as you get older, people expect more out of you.
Marc:That's all.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Always go with what works, the most simplicity.
Guest:Well, you want to be the fart guy?
Guest:Do you want to be the fart guy?
Guest:I talk about so much shit, it doesn't matter.
Guest:You know me, I don't play by the rules anyway.
Guest:I talk about anything and everything.
Guest:I really don't have a show.
Guest:I'm quite nervous talking to you because I have absolutely nothing to talk about.
Guest:And I'm going to be here with you like an hour.
Guest:I'm going, what the hell am I going to say for an hour?
Marc:Well, no, I mean, it is interesting because like I've known of you and about you and I've seen you around since, you know, since I started doing comedy, you know, so there's like it's one of those areas where you're a guy that I don't really know how you started.
Marc:But, you know, you were around in New York with that whole second wave of guys.
Marc:Yeah, I am.
Marc:So you were born in Atlanta.
Marc:And what happened?
Marc:How'd you end up in New York?
Marc:Let me tell you something.
Guest:I wanted to be a comedian since I was six years old.
Guest:Why?
Guest:Who'd you see?
Guest:Red Skelton.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Red Skelton.
Guest:I saw Red Skelton.
Guest:I saw Red Fox.
Guest:I saw Richard Prow.
Guest:I saw Johnny Carson.
Guest:On TV?
Guest:On TV.
Guest:And Milton Berle.
Guest:When I was a kid in high school, what I would do, I would hear these guys on TV on Thursday night.
Guest:I think Thursday night was like Funny Night on Carson, right?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I'm going to the next morning.
Guest:I go to school and I do the jokes and people would laugh.
Guest:Hell, I didn't know.
Guest:You know, and I listened to the party records with Red Fox and Judge Pigmeat Markham and Mama Mabley and people like that.
Marc:Did your parents have them?
Guest:Yes, they had them.
Marc:And, you know, when they went away, they were called party records, right?
Marc:Because they were dirty.
Marc:I got some of those.
Marc:You have them?
Marc:I've got some old Red Fox party records.
Marc:Yeah, I got Pigmeat records.
Marc:You got pig meat records?
Marc:I do.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I got to do that, man.
Guest:I got one of my favorite photos.
Guest:I got all of my comedians on there.
Guest:My comedians I grew up with.
Guest:I got Richard Pryor there.
Guest:I got Jackie Moms, maybe.
Guest:I got Red Fox.
Guest:Even J.J.
Guest:Walker's on there.
Guest:I got a lot of people.
Guest:With you?
Guest:Pictures with you?
Guest:No, not with me, of them.
Guest:They're a little older than I am, even J.J.
Guest:Walker.
Guest:Had I come along in comedy three years earlier, J.J.
Guest:Walker would not have had a job.
Guest:I know I could have beat him out of that damn job.
Marc:So you started doing comedy in high school or no?
Guest:No, I left Georgia and I went to Ohio to study.
Ohio?
Guest:I needed a degree in transportation.
Marc:How'd you decide on transportation?
Guest:Because I always loved traveling.
Guest:My father traveled and we went all over the country and I just loved traveling and getting on the car and get on it.
Guest:My daddy was a butcher.
Marc:A traveling butcher?
Guest:No.
Guest:He traveled to work in Atlanta.
Guest:He worked for Swift and Company.
Guest:Swift and Company.
Guest:So you know that's a butterball trick in those people.
Guest:But he always traveled and I think
Guest:I learned that to this day, people that travel are smarter than most people.
Guest:When you travel and learn what's going on in the world, it's so important.
Guest:And I hope you do travel.
Guest:I hope you travel.
Guest:Do you travel?
Marc:Well, you know, when we go to work, when we're able to work, we're on the road a lot.
Guest:No, no, no, no, no.
Guest:I mean, do you sometimes like take off from what we do?
Guest:Because when we work, we work.
Guest:People don't understand that about us.
Guest:I'm going to Cleveland.
Guest:I'm going to Chicago.
Marc:and you can't call your family they don't understand you were here yeah but i'm working i'm not here to bullshit i guess so but i try to get around don't you get around when you go to work i if i try to see the city sometimes like i've worked in europe i'll travel around a little bit i travel a bit probably not as much as i should do you
Guest:Oh, I do.
Guest:I was doing $250,000 a year.
Guest:I just got a call last week to do Hong Kong, go back to Hong Kong and do more shows there.
Guest:But do you travel without working?
Guest:Yes, I do.
Guest:Like I said, I get $250,000 in easily.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Oh, man, I love that airplane, the big get up in that seat.
Guest:And you just asked me, where do I live?
Guest:Normally, my little crazy answer is I live at United and Delta.
Guest:I love flying.
Guest:I love flying.
Guest:I love learning.
Guest:People that travel, you learn other cultures.
Guest:Where do you like to go?
Guest:Where have you been?
Guest:You name it.
Marc:I've been from Shanghai to Singapore to Dubai to Johannesburg.
Marc:Where do you go back to?
Marc:Where do you like?
Marc:I've been there many times.
Guest:Spain.
Guest:I used to go to Spain six times a year.
Guest:Because that's where the nude beaches and the freaks were.
Guest:I couldn't be a freak in America, but I used to be a freak in Spain.
Marc:Secret freak.
Marc:You're a secret Spanish freak.
Guest:Yeah, everybody's got their little...
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I just love to go to it.
Guest:I never went nude.
Guest:I never went nude on the beach, but I used to love going to the nude beaches.
Marc:So you were the freak that looked at the nude people wearing your trunk.
Guest:I swear to God, I used to.
Guest:It was freaky.
Guest:Now, these beaches were freaky.
Guest:People were having sex up in the woods.
Guest:You know, I used to go watch.
Guest:I'm telling all my business.
Guest:I'm telling all my business.
Guest:Yeah, I love it.
Guest:But, you know, it's all about fun.
Guest:Nobody's getting hurt.
Marc:And they're OK with it.
Marc:It was OK to watch.
Marc:They didn't mind.
Guest:I don't know whether they might not, but I'm...
Guest:But people like to do that.
Guest:People would like to do that.
Guest:But traveling all over the world, like going to Dubai, I love all of the, like Dubai is an interesting city.
Guest:I don't know whether you've been there or not.
Marc:I haven't.
Marc:But you must have done stand-up there, right?
Guest:I've done stand-up everywhere I go, from South Africa to most interesting places would be in China and Hong Kong.
Marc:I did stand-up in Beijing, and I was in Hong Kong.
Marc:Yeah, Beijing, I did an expatriate, expat gig, and it was weird to be there, man.
Marc:It's intense to be in China.
Guest:Beijing is intense because it's a regal city, kind of like Washington, D.C.
Guest:But when you get to Shanghai, you know, Shanghai is my favorite city in the world.
Guest:Shanghai is three times larger than New York City, three times more modern than New York City.
Guest:So it's amazing.
Guest:And you start thinking because we grew up that America has everything.
Guest:Well, other countries are doing well, too, even though that being a communist city, you say, well, what the hell is going on?
Guest:They're selling shit on the street like they do in New York City and Hong Kong.
Guest:It's beautiful, man.
Marc:Beijing is crazy.
Marc:I've never seen so many different types of bicycle vehicles.
Marc:Right, right.
Marc:Yeah, and people are just, like, getting haircuts on the street, and they're selling kittens.
Marc:I don't know if they're for food.
Guest:That's what I was going to tell you.
Guest:They're selling puppies and kittens on the street, right?
Guest:Yeah, yeah.
Guest:So you think this would not be a part of communism at all?
Guest:Wouldn't you think that's not communism?
Guest:That's commercial?
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:I mean, I don't think there's any straight-up definition of communism anymore.
Marc:It's so dug in there.
Marc:It doesn't mean you can't sell kittens on the street.
Marc:There's other reasons you probably shouldn't sell kittens on the street.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, also they sell kittens and chickens and snakes, all kinds of shit.
Marc:That's my problem is like, are these for food or pets?
Marc:That's what I had a problem with understanding.
Marc:What are these kittens for?
Marc:Oh, man, I never thought about it like that.
Guest:Wait a second.
Guest:Dude, that's crazy.
Guest:Because it could be, couldn't it?
Guest:Yeah, of course.
Guest:It could be.
Guest:Damn.
Marc:Damn.
Marc:Sorry, buddy.
Marc:Did I ruin your day?
Guest:I can't imagine.
Guest:But you know what is good?
Guest:You know what is good in China?
Guest:McDonald's.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:McDonald's and KFC.
Guest:I think they used the old formula with the French fries and the grease.
Marc:You know what I did notice, though, when I was in Beijing?
Marc:Those were the only two logos I understood.
Marc:Like I like everything, all the other signs.
Marc:I didn't know what they said, but I'm like, oh, there's the bucket.
Marc:There's the arches.
Guest:Now, you would be surprised when you leave Beijing and you go down to Shanghai.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Then you would see, you know, you got your Haagen-Dazs ice cream.
Guest:You got your Starbucks coffee.
Guest:I don't know why it's so different.
Guest:And Hong Kong is just like America, to be honest, because, you know, Hong Kong was a British colony.
Guest:So their first language was English.
Marc:Yeah, I don't know if it is anymore.
Guest:They took it back.
Guest:1999, and it's causing a lot of problems.
Guest:And that's why I just told you I was summoned to come back to Hong Kong to do a show.
Guest:I don't know what I can do what I used to do.
Marc:I don't know what it's like there anymore.
Marc:It sounds like shit went down.
Guest:It does.
Guest:And I thought they were going to really, they still fight, but they're locking people up and sending them to jail in China, mainland.
Guest:So it's getting pretty tough, man.
Marc:Scary stuff.
Guest:But travel is the best thing you could ever do.
Guest:Make sure you continue to travel.
Guest:Do you work all the time or do you?
Marc:I do.
Marc:I work, but I don't work out of the country enough.
Marc:I went to Ireland recently, which I love.
Marc:I've never been to Ireland.
Marc:You've never been?
Guest:I've never been to Ireland or Scotland because I don't like London.
Marc:No, Scotland and Ireland are beautiful.
Marc:Is that right?
Marc:Well, I mean, if you like that kind of stuff, green and damp and, you know.
Guest:I don't like that.
Guest:Even though I want to move to Vancouver, British Columbia, I don't like green and damp, even though I think Seattle, Washington and Portland, they're green and damp.
Guest:And that's part of the most beautiful part of America.
Marc:Yeah, it's great.
Marc:You want to go to Vancouver?
Marc:That's where you're going to run?
Guest:Let me tell you, I want to go to Vancouver because of COVID.
Guest:Yeah.
Yeah.
Guest:And just going across the line, I think they've got like 7,000 deaths in Canada because of leadership.
Marc:No, it's like, you know, but like, but I mean, you got the vaccine.
Marc:Oh, I got to get another shot.
Guest:I still got to wait another three weeks.
Guest:I'm not playing with this, man.
Guest:I'm not ready to go into the clubs yet.
Guest:And I thank God for the young comics that are going into the clubs.
Guest:But if there's any germ material, that's where it is in the clubs.
Marc:Yeah, I ain't going out.
Marc:I'm not going out to the clubs.
Guest:Oh my God.
Guest:You make, you see, you see these guys going out and you see a few of them coming up sick lately.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Did you see droplets coming out of your mouth?
Guest:Let alone the orders that they laugh at your jokes.
Guest:If you're really funny.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's all that's coming.
Guest:And the nastiest thing in the world is being on stage.
Guest:How many people have been on the mic and backstage?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:It's like a perfect storm of COVID.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I can wait.
Guest:We've done, and you've done, we've done 1500,000 shows.
Guest:We can wait.
Marc:So in Ohio, you're getting your transportation degree.
Marc:How did that work out?
Marc:Where were you working?
Guest:Thank you for going back there.
Guest:I got a degree.
Guest:I went to Firestone Tower and Rebel Company because they have a tuition assistant program.
Guest:So I got a degree in transportation.
Guest:And I knew, you know, with my outgoing personality, I got the degree.
Guest:It was only an associate degree at the time, but I did walk out of the libraries and
Guest:This is the last time I'll ever take a test anywhere.
Guest:And they all knew me in the library.
Guest:Let's get out of here.
Guest:And the next week there was some more scholarship money.
Guest:So I went back to get my other degrees in marketing and transportation.
Marc:So you're all set for comedy with transportation and marketing.
Marc:You're ready to go.
Marc:It's time to be.
Guest:I had degrees and then I moved to New York City to become a comedian, but I needed a financial cushion.
Marc:When you were working at Firestone, what were you doing?
Marc:Computer technologist.
Marc:Oh, you weren't making tires?
Guest:No, hell no.
Guest:The computers back in the day, remember when one computer could take up a whole room?
Marc:Yeah, when they had the cards, the IBM cards?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, I did that.
Guest:You did what?
Guest:I ran the machine.
Guest:I ran the cards that you would punch the cards, data entry, data processing.
Guest:I was punching the buttons like, like, are you operating your board right now?
Guest:That's the most amazing job I think.
Guest:When I go to a radio station, I see a guy punching those buttons and making them go back and forth.
Guest:I just want to do that.
Guest:But I used to operate a computer.
Guest:I used to do the printing and doing the punching buttons and just reading the instructions.
Guest:So I did that, but that was to get a financial cushion to get me just to get a degree.
Guest:I was bad.
Guest:I'm not, I'm not a good student, man.
Guest:I need to go back to school.
Marc:No, it's not going to happen.
Marc:George, those days are behind you.
Guest:I don't want to go back to school.
Guest:You know why my head is, my head is fucked up, man, because like, I don't use a lot of, I'm kind of embarrassed.
Guest:I don't use a lot of big words like Dennis Miller.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Sure, you don't need to.
Guest:Well, I had an instructor, Dr. Aloysius Misko, and he said one profound statement, never speak where people understand you.
Guest:Always speak where they never misunderstand you.
Guest:Be as simple as possible.
Guest:And that struck a chord in my head.
Guest:And to this day, I don't use a lot of big words.
Guest:I don't know a lot of big words.
Guest:Should I just hope it was two weeks ago, I just got into insurrection.
Marc:You had to look it up.
Marc:Interaction was a new one.
Guest:And the other one too, Seditious.
Guest:Seditious, you had to look that one up.
Guest:Every five years when there's a new court, something big happening, you know, we had the OJ trial.
Guest:We had Defendant.
Guest:Now, I knew about Defendant, but they said Defendant.
Guest:And then all of a sudden, somebody said,
Guest:sequestering and went oh god i got to look that up too so so every year i learned some new words man so you can do it you can do it every day george you could just i think they have something uh on the computer where you learn a new word every day vocabulary but you don't get to the right place where you want to use it at the right time so you learn it then you forget it but i do i would like to go back to school and learn more i like to learn more history i like to learn more of everything
Marc:But can't you do that on your own?
Marc:What do you need a school for?
Guest:I'm lazy.
Guest:It's right there.
Guest:You're right.
Guest:You're on the computer.
Guest:You can go on the computer every morning.
Marc:So you need someone to tell you?
Marc:You need someone to give you an assignment?
Guest:I'm old school.
Guest:I need to sit in a chair.
Guest:You need a desk?
Guest:I need a desk.
Guest:I think I would do better with the going to school, the actual being in class.
Guest:I don't know how these young kids are getting away with online.
Marc:Online learning?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That's got to be pretty tough.
Marc:It's terrible.
Marc:It's tough for everybody.
Marc:Their parents are going crazy.
Marc:Everyone's going crazy.
Marc:Everyone's in the house.
Marc:They're going nuts.
Guest:Yeah, but I did that.
Guest:I wanted to go to school to get a financial cushion, and then I sold rags when I got to college.
Marc:What do you mean you sold rags?
Marc:What is it, 1902?
Marc:What do you mean you sold rags?
Guest:Let me tell you something, young man.
Guest:I am old.
Guest:You know, I've been doing comedy since like 1853.
Marc:Long time.
Marc:What does selling rags mean?
Guest:It was a job, man.
Guest:You'd be surprised how much money people make selling rags.
Marc:Like rags?
Marc:Like rags that you wipe things with?
Guest:Yes, sir.
Guest:I used to say...
Guest:Your rags to riches?
Guest:I think I did that.
Marc:I did.
Guest:It sounds like you sold rags to mechanics.
Guest:You know, the mechanic has the rag.
Marc:But where did you get the rags to sell?
Marc:Did you work for a rag-selling company?
Marc:Or is there a place where you... How does it work?
Guest:I know this sounds really stupid.
Guest:A guy so rags, so rags and riches.
Guest:I like it.
Guest:When I got to New York, I needed to make some money to get a financial cushion.
Guest:I read an ad.
Guest:This is how old I am.
Guest:When I was young, you had to go to the newspaper to read that one ad.
Guest:Remember that?
Uh-huh.
Guest:No, you're too young to remember.
Guest:No, of course.
Marc:They had the one that's in the back, in the back.
Guest:Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Guest:And so it said $150 to $300 a day.
Guest:Check this out.
Guest:And I checked it out, and it was selling rags.
Guest:And the name of the company was Cleveland Cotton Products.
Guest:Now, I went to school in Akron, Ohio, which is 30 miles down the road.
Guest:I went back to Cleveland to learn how to sell rags and processing of rags.
Guest:You'd be surprised how many people need rags.
Guest:Restaurant needs rags.
Guest:Car dealership needs rags.
Guest:Doctor's office needs rags.
Guest:Everybody needs a rag.
Guest:Schools need rags to clean.
Marc:So you were deep into the rag racket.
Guest:Man, let me tell you something.
Guest:I sold ShamWow in 1972.
Guest:Wow, man.
Guest:I sold ShamWow in 1972.
Guest:I didn't have a name for it then.
Guest:It was just called a disposable cloth.
Marc:It was called a rag.
Guest:It was the new rag that was a disposable reusable cloth.
Guest:That's the first day I ever made $3,500 in my life.
Marc:Selling those?
Guest:Selling rags.
Guest:I sold it to Earl Scheid.
Guest:I used to have a pen.
Guest:just like this little pencil would stick in my pocket.
Guest:It was a scale.
Guest:I could wear a rag and I get the biggest rag to have.
Guest:And I says, I want to weigh the rag.
Guest:How much is this?
Guest:How much are you paying per pound for rags?
Guest:They said 23 cents.
Guest:I got a rag here weighs eight ounces.
Guest:Oh man, that's 12 ounces just for one rag.
Guest:I can say you're brand new universal cloth every day.
Guest:And you can reuse it, reusable brand new cloth.
Guest:And I had to change their way of thinking.
Marc:Around the rags.
Marc:And that's how you made your fortune in rags.
Guest:I'm one of the first people to sell a disposable cloth at the dentist's office.
Guest:It used to be a white napkin they would put on your, at the dental office.
Guest:But as you know now, they put a handy white with a plastic backing.
Guest:I sold that many years ago.
Marc:You're like a pioneer.
Guest:You're a rag pioneer.
Guest:Well, I didn't make it.
Guest:I'll just do sell the shit.
Guest:I sold a lot of PPE equipment way back then.
Guest:So before a ShamWow came out, I was selling that.
Guest:And I made a lot of money doing that.
Guest:And then I wanted to sell advertising.
Guest:And then I sold everything at Times Square, the 5,000 buses in New York City.
Guest:I was vice president of that outdoor advertising company.
Marc:Really?
Marc:On the buses?
Marc:Yes, sir.
Guest:All the 5,000 buses in New York City, Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland.
Marc:How'd you get that job?
Guest:I was sitting at Ammonia Square in Athens, Greece, with a friend of mine who was just talking about some careers, and there was a friend that he knew that was working.
Marc:Wait, in Greece?
Marc:You were in Greece?
Marc:Athens, Greece.
Marc:And this is before you started doing comedy.
Marc:You were just in Greece.
Marc:You took, what, the subway there?
Guest:What were you doing in Greece?
Guest:I took the Greyhound.
Guest:I drove the back way.
Guest:A lot of people don't know you can drive in Europe if you go the back way.
Guest:But we were sitting talking about careers, young, young men talking about careers.
Guest:And there was a guy that he knew that, that made like $70,000 a year selling advertising space, you know?
Marc:So, but this sounds like you, you learned how to, you learned how to hustle.
Marc:So you learned how to sell things.
Marc:I mean, you had to sell this stuff, so that got you involved with people.
Guest:Still wanted to be a comedian.
Guest:Let's make one thing perfectly clear.
Guest:Yes, sir.
Guest:Learning how to sell a product is the same thing as learning how to sell a joke.
Guest:You got to go on stage and present the package.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So I sold to – I had big accounts.
Guest:Let's put it like this.
Guest:When I was in New York City, Catch a Riding Star, 1976, I was –
Guest:I was making $75,000 then as a young kid.
Guest:And people said, you're going to quit that to become a comedian?
Guest:I never cared.
Guest:All I ever wanted to do was become a comedian.
Guest:Never wanted to do any television, never wanted to do any movies, anything like that.
Guest:Just wanted to tell jokes because I knew Red Fox and all of the guys, Patrick Henry.
Marc:Red Fox was so fucking funny, man.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:See, I knew them and they were working in Las Vegas.
Guest:And we were told that Patrick Henry and Don Rutgers, they were making $300,000 a year.
Guest:That's all I need to make.
Guest:What the fuck I need to wonder?
Guest:That's all I wanted to make.
Marc:So when you decided to start doing it, did you have an act?
Guest:Yes, because I had studied that in New York City.
Guest:Seinfeld and I started together in 1976 at Catch a Rising Star.
Guest:That's why we're still best friends 45 years right now.
Guest:We started together at Catch a Rising Star.
Marc:So do you remember, was it an open mic night or what?
Marc:Yeah, Monday night.
Marc:Did you do that?
Marc:Yeah, I never I didn't have the pride.
Marc:I couldn't sit there and wait for Lewis to decide when I was going to fucking go on.
Marc:So I stayed downtown.
Marc:I went to the old improv.
Marc:I just couldn't.
Marc:I could not tolerate Lewis Ferranda having any control over my life.
Guest:Oh, I'm talking.
Guest:I'm looking for my phone.
Guest:I wanted to call Lewis and say how he fucked up your life.
Marc:He knows.
Guest:And he's still doing it at Caroline's.
Marc:Isn't that amazing?
Marc:I think we're okay, him and I. I've addressed that.
Marc:I'm sure.
Marc:So who was around when you guys first went up?
Marc:So where'd you meet Seinfeld?
Marc:At catch?
Guest:At catch, he was sitting at one.
Guest:You know, I was my first-time little black kid at the end of the bar.
Guest:He was a little long-haired Jewish kid at the end of the bar.
Guest:And we started talking, waiting to go on.
Guest:And next thing you know, we started to bond and hang together.
Guest:Who was in charge of putting you on?
Guest:Was it Rick?
Guest:Well, Rick was the boss, of course.
Guest:You had Belzer and you had Bill Maher and you had Adrian Toast.
Marc:So, but Belzer, who ran the Monday night?
Marc:One of the three of those.
Marc:One of the three.
Marc:And so you're just this guy and you had an idea.
Marc:Because I remember seeing, where did I see that?
Marc:The picture I used to look at.
Guest:I had no fucking idea of what I was doing.
Guest:I was a preacher.
Guest:That's what you're getting ready to say, right?
Guest:I was in a robe.
Marc:Yeah, that picture, that comic strip in the robe, in the preacher robe.
Guest:You know, when you're starting, you don't know what you're doing.
Marc:So you decided on a preacher?
Guest:I went to a little comedy school, a little comedy class, Irvin Dalvin, and me and Rick Overton and quite a few guys.
Guest:We were in the class.
Guest:Overton?
Guest:Yeah, Rick Overton, do what you do.
Guest:And all I did, you know, I'm a little country boy from Atlanta, Georgia, coming out of the church, and I would always mock the preacher, and he thought that was a great character.
Guest:And I had a...
Guest:put on the robe and the Jewish high, highest high.
Guest:And then I had the yellow page telephone book that, you know, you remember the yellow page was that thick.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That was my Bible, the good book of bell, whatever you want, look it up in the book.
Guest:I was known as a Reverend George Wallace back in the day, look it up in the book.
Guest:And that was your hook.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I was good at it too.
Guest:Until I got to the Neboli hotel up in the, in the, in the mountains.
Marc:Wait, so you're doing that preacher stick and the phone book and it was all improvised?
Marc:You just kind of, what'd you go with?
Guest:They were stock jokes.
Guest:They were everything.
Guest:You know, it was day one.
Guest:I didn't know shit.
Guest:I didn't know what I was doing, but I was having fun.
Guest:I do have the personality to go up and sell myself.
Guest:That's what I think.
Guest:Most people, that's one of my formulas.
Guest:Sell yourself.
Marc:Catch a rising star at that time.
Marc:Everybody was hanging out there.
Marc:That was a big place.
Guest:Are you kidding me?
Guest:That's where David Brenner was, man.
Guest:That's where Johnny Carson would come in.
Marc:Brenner, yeah.
Guest:And Pat Benatar.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Man.
Guest:Steve Blustein.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:And I got to go on stage.
Guest:And, you know, I...
Guest:Your pay was a meal if you wanted a hamburger or a steak.
Guest:When you made it and going there and being just being able to make people laugh, you know, as a young person.
Guest:And they had a band.
Marc:Didn't they have Italian food there?
Guest:Oh, yes.
Guest:That's what I was going to say.
Guest:A shrimp scampi.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:Was that good?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I think it was run by the Italians.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I remember.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But that was before my time.
Marc:So you started doing it.
Marc:And who's your crew?
Marc:It's you and Seinfeld and who else?
Guest:Well, what happened was they were also building the Cummings Strip two blocks away.
Guest:So we were not regulars.
Guest:Kelly Rogers and, like I said, Elaine Bousla and all of those guys.
Guest:You were just open micers?
Guest:Everybody was, but that was their club.
Guest:So the Cummings Strip opened.
Guest:So we went over there.
Guest:I went over there to sell them advertising.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Put them on the buses in New York City.
Guest:What was that guy's name?
Guest:Richie?
Guest:Richard Tinkin.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Richard Tinkin and Bob Wax, who also went on to manage Eddie Murphy.
Marc:Right.
Guest:So I said, I do a little act.
Guest:You need to put your business on the street and the back of all of these buses.
Guest:I'm going to put you on 100 buses going up and down 2nd, 3rd Avenue.
Guest:Eat, drink and be merry at the Cummings Strip.
Guest:And, you know, back in the day, you couldn't get into the clubs.
Guest:They were just packed.
Guest:Yeah, they were packed.
Guest:And so it was like a new thing.
Guest:Yeah, it was a new thing.
Guest:And I said, I do a little coming in myself.
Guest:They said, well, come in tomorrow night, Thursday night and audition.
Guest:I went in in my robe and my telephone book and my briefcase.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And just the right Reverend Dr. Joy.
Guest:And they bring it up with music.
Guest:So I would go up on.
Guest:Oh, when the saints go marching in and the whole audience would get into and having fun and.
Guest:and they bought it and and i've been on stage since every night since then and i learned as i grew i grew out of the you know you can't do stock jokes you got to learn how to be you as they say you don't even know who you are well what was that what happened in the mountains man what was the what was the how did the uh the good the good reverend end let me tell you something like that
Guest:I went up to the mountains.
Guest:There was an article yesterday.
Guest:David Letterman just did an article, just did a show with Neil.
Guest:I forgot Neil's name.
Marc:Brennan.
Guest:Brennan, yeah.
Guest:And they talked about a guy that never bombs.
Guest:George Wallace, that's another guy.
Guest:He never bombs.
Guest:Well, they never met me before this night.
Guest:I was up in the mountains, man.
Guest:I don't know whether you've ever bombed.
Guest:I like to have a good time on stage, but I was in the mountains.
Guest:I had to do 45 minutes.
Guest:Who the fuck told me that I could go to the mountains in front of all of the Jewish people that know all of the jokes in the world?
Guest:And I had stock jokes.
Guest:Somebody thought I could go up there and make $100 a night or $50 a night for 45 minutes.
Guest:with no real act.
Guest:I went on that stage and I did my jokes.
Guest:I got no laughs, no laughs for 45 minutes.
Guest:But I stayed up there.
Guest:All they were doing, cling, cling, cling, cling.
Guest:No, no, this didn't hurt.
Guest:This was worse than my mother's funeral.
Guest:And driving from New York.
Guest:Yeah, your heart died.
Guest:Listen, driving from New York to back in New York, I really, really wanted to drive off the Tappancy Bridge.
Guest:No, you don't understand what bad is.
Guest:It was bad, man.
Marc:Believe me, I've been doing this more than half my life.
Marc:I definitely know what bad is.
Guest:Not this bad.
Guest:Not this bad.
Guest:I mean, crying bad.
Guest:And I got a little better.
Guest:And three years later, I went back up to the Neverly.
Guest:And I did a better job.
Guest:And that was an old Jewish lady.
Guest:She was a waitress there.
Guest:She tapped me on the shoulder.
Guest:She says, much better this time, eh?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So, yeah, so I did that with the Reverend and then I learned.
Marc:So the Reverend died with the Jews.
Guest:No, I continued to do the Reverend.
Guest:I got better.
Guest:And then I was so good at selling advertising.
Guest:I went out to Los Angeles to sell advertising.
Guest:So I did that.
Guest:I had balls, man.
Guest:I went to Universal.
Guest:I put Donna Ross up on the bus.
Guest:I put Elton John up on the buses in New York City.
Guest:I was good.
Marc:But so you never, you're not one of these guys sort of like only stand up.
Marc:You kind of have one foot in the regular world too, huh?
Guest:Well, I had to have a financial cushion to do what I wanted to do.
Guest:I had a brand new Lincoln after making that money and selling advertising and rags.
Guest:So I had a little money to do it.
Guest:And when I started, I had a car.
Guest:If he had a car in New York City, all the other comedians were, he got a car.
Guest:He got a car, you know.
Marc:You're driving him around, huh?
Guest:Yeah, drive me and Seinfeld could drive around.
Marc:Were you doing road gigs here too?
Guest:We did little things around New Jersey and out on the island.
Marc:You and Jerry?
Guest:Ben Jerry and Paul Reiser and Larry Miller.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I didn't stay in New York long enough.
Guest:I was only there for six months because of my personality.
Guest:I had the people going crazy and getting standing ovations.
Guest:So, you know, once you get to be that good, it's kind of like killing at the cellar every night.
Guest:Once you start killing at the cellar every night, maybe I should move to the bottom of another level.
Guest:So that's what took me out to Los Angeles.
Marc:How's Larry Miller?
Marc:You talk to him?
Guest:I haven't talked to him in a while.
Guest:Last time we went down to the Comedy Magic Club, he was doing okay after his accident.
Marc:Okay, good.
Marc:So you move out to do comedy and to sell advertising?
Guest:I moved to do advertising, and then I got really into comedy at the Comedy Store.
Guest:They let you in?
Guest:Mitzi let you in?
Guest:No, let me tell you something.
Guest:What happened?
Guest:I went off to, I'm doing, I'm like Mr. Big Shit in New York at the Comic Stripper, Catch a Riding Star, and the Improv, and Good Times.
Guest:I'm doing all of these stuff.
Marc:With the Reverend.
Guest:the reference yeah man i was doing i don't know what you did but i was doing up to seven sets a night sure yeah running around that you're doing three clubs you do the what'd you yeah yeah running up and down up and down yes so and you can become good with shitty material once you get your timing down you can become good yeah and you only have to do 15 minutes and keep repeating it should get better right
Marc:And then sometimes you do it so much.
Guest:Did I do that joke already?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:With my with my fucked up head.
Guest:I'm going, did I do that joke already?
Guest:They say, yes.
Guest:But I don't give a shit.
Guest:I'm doing it again.
Guest:I'm going to just do it three times.
Guest:So but when I got to California, I went to the comics comedy store.
Guest:yeah and what year is this 78 77 okay 77 i went on to come this company store was closed they had the the company store was in westwood robin williams everybody was there you know david letterman we're all on stage together and i went on an audition on a monday night and i killed yeah and i walked off stage and i went up to metry trying to get a little approval hi right how'd i do you're not right for my club oh boy
Guest:Boy, that was like, bam, right in my heart.
Guest:I'm going like, damn, I am doing well.
Guest:I did.
Guest:I just killed in there.
Guest:Now you can't work on my club.
Guest:So I said, fuck her.
Guest:The next day I called in for spots.
Marc:Yeah.
Yeah.
Guest:Five spots for the week.
Guest:Then I knew she was crazy.
Guest:She just told me last night I could not work her club.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I call in on Tuesday and I get five spots for the rest of the week and worked forever.
Guest:And I'm one of the guys that worked at the communist store and worked for the improv back in the day.
Guest:They didn't want you to work both.
Marc:So in 77, the rosters was like you and Letterman and Leno.
Guest:They were bigger than me.
Guest:Me, Paul Mooney, Paul Mooney, Elaine Boosley.
Guest:Oh, there's so many good, good Billy Crystal.
Guest:All of those guys are out there then, you know, and really cool.
Guest:But watching Richard Pryor work out there was awesome.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Did you get to talk to him?
Marc:Did you get to meet him?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I come off stage right now.
Guest:He said, I really like what you do.
Guest:I really like what you do.
Guest:But he was awesome.
Guest:I saw him.
Guest:The good thing I learned about him, I saw him bomb so bad for three weeks.
Marc:Yeah, I saw him bomb too.
Marc:It's wild, right?
Guest:Did you?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But he wouldn't give in like me, like I better do something funny.
Guest:He bombed so badly.
Guest:So if he was on that last album, I think, Sunset, Live on Sunset.
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:He would not.
Guest:They do Mudbone.
Guest:No, I can't do Mudbone, motherfucker.
Guest:And it was so bad for three weeks.
Guest:He was going, well, this one ain't going to work.
Guest:The fourth week, well, at least it's a little better than last week.
Guest:The fourth, fifth week, he goes, huh?
Guest:Six weeks, he goes, let's get it.
Guest:He's coming together.
Guest:And about after four months, you go like, this motherfucker got a show live on Sunset.
Guest:Doing it.
Guest:So that was a great learning process to watch him.
Marc:You saw him build it from nothing.
Guest:From nothing.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Bomb.
Guest:Sam Kennison used to bomb every night.
Guest:People didn't know what the hell he was doing.
Marc:Yeah, they used to clear the room.
Marc:Yeah, I got an old tape of his.
Marc:I was a doorman at the store in 87, so I spent a lot of time doing Sam's Coke, 87.
Guest:You didn't know me back then.
Guest:You didn't get to know me that well because by the time of 85, I did The Tonight Show in 1979.
Guest:Yeah, you were gone.
Guest:I was gone.
Guest:I did The Tonight Show in 1979, and the next night I was opening for Natalie Cole in front of 17,000 people.
Guest:That was when you kind of did The Tonight Show
Guest:You're gone.
Guest:People are hiring you forever.
Marc:So that was the gig, right?
Marc:Because you didn't have the comedy clubs yet, but you had to open for musical acts.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:So I opened for Natalie Cole.
Guest:I worked for Donna Ross, George Benson, Smokey Robinson, Helen Reddy, Paul Anka.
Guest:I was with Tom Jones for five years.
Guest:Five years with Tom Jones?
Guest:I loved it.
Guest:I loved it.
Guest:I was working with Donna Ross during that disco era.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And that was really something because she had like half, 50% was gay.
Guest:One thing about the best audience in the world, black audience, Jewish audience, gay audience.
Guest:So that was a mix of all three.
Guest:So every night I go out there, I get like a standing ovation.
Guest:And I got fired.
Marc:Why?
Guest:Because of our ego, our ego and our attitudes, even in me and you today, if there's a gal on in front of you, especially if we're headlining, if they are getting standing obeying your shit, you know, get the fuck off.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:It's kind of like, you know, but she's a singer.
Guest:Yeah, but when you get a standing ovation in Las Vegas, that's an extra minute and a minute and a half off the clock.
Guest:So they're like, come on, get out of the way.
Marc:So she fired you or the hotel fired you?
Marc:She did.
Marc:She did.
Guest:Smoke around and said, she didn't fire you yet.
Guest:I said, got fired last week.
Guest:And two weeks later, she had me back.
Guest:And I was working with her for another year.
Marc:Did she fire you to your face?
Guest:No, they go through the agent.
Guest:They go through the agent and say, no, something happened there.
Guest:And then Tom Jones saw me with Diana Ross.
Guest:He's coming with me.
Guest:Oh, hell no.
Guest:I'm getting 17,000 people a night with Miss Ross.
Guest:And her shows were amazing.
Guest:Reach out and touch somebody's hand.
Guest:And a comedian get a chance to work for an audience like that.
Guest:I loved it.
Guest:And so one week, Diana Ross was off, and they asked me to come in with Tom Jones.
Guest:And this, this dude, I did not, I know it was big, Shea stayed in and working very hard, but the next night, Tom Jones, 16, 17,000 people going, what the hell?
Guest:International audience, all ladies down front, throwing underwear to the stage.
Marc:Right.
Guest:And so I got in with him and opened for him in Caesar's Palace.
Guest:And they told me, Mr. Wallace, it's going to be pretty bad because the same 500 ladies come to see Tom Jones every night down front.
Guest:So you'll have no you'll have no audience down front, man.
Guest:But do you know those ladies were there every night for me?
Guest:And we did two shows a night then.
Guest:Doing the same act?
Guest:No, that's what learned, taught me.
Guest:I've got to do some more material.
Guest:Coming up with little ideas like the chandeliers.
Guest:You saw those beautiful chandeliers out there?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I paid for those.
Guest:Little simple shit like that.
Guest:And people knew what you were talking about in the gambling.
Marc:Tom Jones's ladies taught you how to write new material.
Guest:Well, I knew how to write.
Guest:I knew I had to do.
Guest:It was fun to write new material because you had new people coming in every night.
Guest:The same ladies.
Guest:You know you had to change it up.
Guest:The same ladies.
Guest:And I learned from that.
Guest:And I had to do 45 minutes, too.
Guest:I did not have the regular 20 minutes that everybody else had.
Guest:45 before Jones?
Guest:Yes.
Guest:And he would be backstage sometimes.
Guest:I mean, we became very close friends.
Guest:And sometimes he'd be behind and say, get your black ass off the stage.
Guest:But what fun that was.
Guest:Just a learning process, man.
Guest:All I ever wanted to do was learn and work Las Vegas.
Marc:Looking back on all those people that you work with, who do you...
Marc:Who are the best people?
Marc:Who do you really like?
Marc:I mean, Diana seems like she sounds a little difficult.
Marc:Tom seems fun.
Guest:She was difficult at first because she was having her divorce with Barry Gordy.
Guest:It was pretty big.
Guest:That disco era was pretty, pretty big.
Guest:And she ran the show.
Marc:And this is all in Vegas or you go on the road too?
Guest:No, on the road, all over America.
Guest:all over America.
Marc:And that's quite a life, huh?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Then I started with Tom Jones and he just turned out to be fantastic.
Guest:When I got to Tom Jones, he paid me more money than Diana Ross.
Guest:Plus I couldn't, I was not allowed to touch my luggage.
Guest:I was not allowed to do anything.
Guest:Airplane.
Guest:And I sat right across from him on the plane and
Guest:It was really good service there.
Guest:And then sometimes they make a mistake and pay me and the hotel would pay me also.
Guest:And I never said a damn word, you know.
Guest:So Tom Jones, Donna Summer was great to work with.
Guest:Smoke Robinson, George, Benson, great.
Guest:Everybody I worked with were great to work with because I demand that.
Marc:So that was sort of the, see, I guess that's why it's interesting because guys your age, like, you know who else?
Marc:I talked to Brad Garrett, who was younger than you, but there was a world of comics that, you know, the goal was to get to Vegas.
Marc:Yes, at that time, yes.
Marc:Because, like, there wasn't, you know, when you started working, there wasn't some comedy club circuit.
Marc:You opened for musicians, and then if you could get to Vegas and get, you know, 50 dates a year or whatever, that was the gig.
Yeah.
Guest:50 dates a year.
Guest:Excuse me, my friend.
Guest:You're talking to me, okay?
Marc:I know.
Marc:I'm sorry.
Marc:350 dates a year.
Guest:I was doing at least 300 dates a year because I was working for everybody.
Guest:Like I said, we were doing two shows a night.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And every night.
Guest:And Tom Jones sometimes did 34 weeks a year just on the road all over.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You go to Vegas two or three times, Lake Tahoe, Atlantic City, Radio City, Music Hall, racetracks outdoors, 70,000 people.
Guest:Just everywhere.
Guest:All of the local venues.
Marc:But see, I guess the thing is, by the time comedy clubs came around, you were already dug into making a lot of money in the old school way.
Marc:But you never wanted to do TV?
Marc:You never wrote TV or nothing?
Guest:Could you say that again?
Guest:By the time comedy clubs came around, enough people knew me from the tour that I would bring those people into the comedy clubs.
Guest:And I'm one of the first guys to say, give me 90% of the door.
Marc:Oh, so that's how you did it.
Guest:That's why I made a lot of money, because I had the Tom Jones people.
Guest:I had also the people from The Tonight Show.
Guest:I had the people from Arsenio.
Guest:I had an audience coming from everywhere.
Guest:Always a mixed audience.
Guest:Black, white, young, old, and sold out.
Guest:I would add shows, sometimes five shows a day.
Guest:Give me 85%, 90% of the door.
Marc:So you did the door deals.
Marc:You invented the door deal.
Marc:You get the drinks, I'll take the cash.
Guest:Yes, yes, yes.
Guest:And there were only...
Guest:The big clubs, Birmingham, Alabama, Atlanta, Georgia, San Francisco, they were going to be full either way, but for sure we were going to add shows when I came to town.
Marc:So when the comedy club explosion happened, you already had a built-in audience because you built it.
Guest:Yes, yes, yes.
Guest:Plus, I was the one that could promote.
Guest:I'm an advertising entrepreneur.
Guest:I know how to go to the local radio station.
Guest:I don't mind getting up at 6 o'clock in the morning and doing the radios.
Guest:I had to learn to do, if you had a choice to do radio or television in the mornings to attract an audience, always do radio.
Guest:People watching on TV, they're at home.
Guest:They don't have jobs.
Marc:And everyone's listening to radio.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:So I learned how to do that and I enjoy it.
Guest:I love working.
Guest:I just, look what we do, man.
Guest:Come on.
Guest:We don't do, my thing right now when I go and say this, I just love the people.
Guest:I'm blessed.
Guest:I got the greatest job in the world.
Guest:And all I do is lie.
Guest:I just lie.
Guest:I got to the point where I just make up shit.
Guest:you could be president that's that's the ending joke i want to be the greatest bullshitter in the world but trump is kicking my ass right now well he's gone now that's got to retire that joke yeah did you work how much tv did you do did you care about tv no i wasn't into that all i just want to do is it's like today i'm not into television even though i have two television shows i just turned on a tv show with uh
Guest:And that turned out, I was writing.
Guest:I had a show with Jamie Foxx.
Guest:I was the second leader after him lead role.
Guest:It's called Daddy Stop Embarrassing Me.
Guest:And we shut down on March 13 because of COVID.
Guest:And I wouldn't go back.
Guest:With Netflix, I wouldn't go back because I'm black.
Guest:It wasn't a good time to fly.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:All of the preexisting conditions.
Guest:Maybe my blood pressure was borderline.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I decided I don't want to go back because you have to live in a hotel going back and forth.
Guest:I made the right decision.
Guest:And I was making tons of money.
Guest:They were paying me tons of money, but I decided not to go back.
Guest:So that was a good TV show.
Guest:Now I have a new deal with a guy by the name of Norman Lear.
Guest:You probably never heard of this guy.
Guest:He's an older guy.
Guest:Did a couple shows.
Guest:He's 97 years old.
Guest:You think, yeah, I have a deal with him on the shelf right now.
Guest:So I'm slowly transferring into television and movies because...
Guest:I work, you know, I'm a resident in Las Vegas.
Guest:I work when I want to work.
Guest:I own my show in Las Vegas.
Guest:We'll talk about that later.
Marc:But you didn't do any writing early on.
Marc:You just this is all new.
Guest:Oh, that's when I started on.
Guest:Let me put this.
Guest:I did.
Guest:When I got in 1977, I got to the company store.
Guest:I was on stage and the producers were inside for the Red Fox show.
Guest:And then at the time they said, we think you should.
Guest:We would like for you to come right on the Red Fox show.
Guest:And I said, oh, I don't know.
Guest:I didn't know anything about being a job as a writer.
Guest:They said, we know you can do it.
Guest:You've got to do it.
Guest:I said, I don't think so.
Guest:And this song is kind of crazy at the time, but they did tell me, well, it's $3,500 a week.
Guest:And I said, well, maybe I can come up with a little something.
Guest:You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Guest:So, but I did that.
Guest:So I did write, the show was only on for one year.
Guest:It was not Sanford and Son.
Guest:It was a show that was on after Sanford and Son.
Guest:What was it like working with Red?
Guest:No idea.
Guest:The show, I was on Dave Osborne, Sergeant, what was his name?
Guest:Officer Dunn, officer, something like that.
Guest:He was my producer, Dave Osborne.
Guest:He's the guy that produced the Smothers Brothers show.
Guest:We would sit down and write the Red Fox show somewhere in California.
Guest:We'd write the show.
Guest:The show was shot at CBS, and it was on ABC.
Guest:And they're going, how do I do this shit?
Guest:They shoot at one studio, and then it airs on ABC.
Guest:Was it Bob Einstein?
Guest:Bob Einstein.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:That's Albert Brooks's brother.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Officer Dunn.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He died last year.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Fantastic guy.
Guest:And I wish I could have worked longer in writing.
Guest:Writing is good.
Guest:I can write now, but I was not a good writer back then.
Marc:So you never got to work with Red?
Marc:You wrote it one place and then they just do it?
Guest:We go over and see him.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:We go over when we shot the show and then he knew me as a comic.
Guest:And so we did it that way.
Guest:But I met a lot of people.
Guest:Nice guy.
Guest:Yeah, very nice guy.
Guest:But man, did he do a lot of drugs.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:He did a lot of drugs.
Guest:That's where I first met Muhammad Ali.
Guest:Muhammad Ali came to CBS and he walked straight into the street.
Guest:He said he walked straight to me because I'm his size.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he says, I'm the greatest of all time.
Guest:I said, come on.
Guest:I said, I'm good, too.
Guest:So we go back and forth.
Guest:And it was good working for Red.
Guest:We had a lot of fun.
Marc:So how did how does how does Vegas work?
Marc:So now because I know you like you had your own show there for a long time.
Marc:You still got it.
Marc:I know I don't like Vegas, so I don't go there.
Marc:But any time I go there, I see you on a billboard.
Guest:Yeah, I had more billboards in Las Vegas than any hotel because I went into Las Vegas.
Guest:Because you're in advertising.
Guest:Because I'm, ooh, there you go.
Guest:I knew how to buy four boards and make them give me six.
Guest:I said, you got all these boards out on the street that are closed, there's nothing on them.
Guest:Put me on them and trust me, other people in Las Vegas will follow my run.
Guest:Guess what?
Guest:I did a lot of things.
Guest:I was very creative in Las Vegas.
Guest:People had one truck, you know, the advertising truck goes up and down Las Vegas.
Guest:I put five up.
Guest:With your face on there.
Guest:Back to back to back to back to back.
Guest:And everybody in Las Vegas was going, that's so stupid.
Guest:Why would he put up five trucks back to back to back to back to back to back?
Guest:And I don't lie if I say it.
Guest:You're talking about it.
Guest:Yeah, they'll remember.
Guest:You're talking about it.
Guest:And so what happened when I got to Las Vegas?
Guest:Uh...
Guest:I bought the show.
Guest:I owned the show.
Guest:I never worked for the hotels.
Marc:What does that mean?
Marc:What do you mean you bought the show?
Guest:It's called full walling.
Guest:I rent a room.
Marc:Right.
Guest:So at the Flamingos, 800 seats every night.
Guest:I rent a room and it was tough.
Guest:I didn't take any money for the first year.
Guest:I put my money back out into the streets.
Guest:I walked every day to every hotel and shook every concierge hand and let them know you got a new show in town.
Guest:Really?
Guest:What year was this?
Guest:19, 2004 to 2014.
Guest:So you're working the streets.
Marc:You're going up to the guys, the concierges.
Marc:I'm George Wallace.
Marc:I got the show.
Guest:Yeah, and it's different.
Guest:Come over and see it.
Guest:Here's two tickets for you.
Guest:Come over.
Guest:I didn't give a damn why they sold the tickets as long as they were happy.
Guest:That's why I have worked Las Vegas more shows than most people, but definitely more shows than any African-American.
Guest:That includes Red Pox, Sammy Davis Jr., Lena Horne, Dan Ross.
Guest:I've done more shows in Las Vegas than any other African-American.
Marc:entertainer so the show was uh so it wasn't the hotel didn't pay for it you rented the space but you had to abide by their time right
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I took a 10 o'clock spot because I thought people, I thought more people like to laugh at 10.
Guest:And that worked.
Guest:Because had I gone at eight, I would have to compete against all of the other shows, Cirque du Soleil and all of those bigger shows.
Guest:So then, and also decreased the amount of shows at 10 and people wanted to come out and people came from everywhere.
Guest:And I also had a backing and radio.
Guest:So I forgot to tell you that I was doing radio, nationwide radio with Tom Jonah.
Guest:So it was an,
Guest:a hundred markets across america so i had that following too to bring in my uh my my audience and my market and people will come in and see my name so i built that up after the first year it was just a gravy train huh and after the first year it was pretty hard it takes that long to catch on you got to get your niche right and you're doing just straight stand up just straight stand up and then after they start to grow
Guest:And I brought in other entertainers with me to have fun with.
Guest:And I was kind of a crazy guy I brought in.
Guest:And you're not going to believe this.
Guest:I had Jennifer Holliday had war.
Guest:These people were opening for me.
Guest:I had so many other people.
Guest:I'm the first guy to bring in Sly and the Family Stone after 25 years of being on stage.
Guest:It's after that night he did like the Grammys and walked off.
Guest:with the weird uh mohawk the blonde mohawk yeah you remember yeah i said i want him because he was my favorite entertainer when i was in college how did he do sure enough i got him to come to las vegas they had odds 41 that's that the sky would not show up 41 and he was late scared the shit out of me and i was smart enough to know mark i was smart enough to know like
Guest:This guy's working for me, but he's not going to open for me.
Marc:Right.
Guest:That's his show.
Guest:I open for him.
Guest:I don't give a shit.
Guest:I'm the one making the money, you know?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:So we did that, and I brought an entertainer.
Guest:How did he do?
Marc:How did Swy do?
Guest:Fucked up the place, man.
Guest:People were crying.
Guest:He hadn't been on stage in 25 years.
Guest:His kids were going to see Daddy.
Guest:It was so bad.
Guest:big that it was on the billboards that I sold in New York, Sly and the Family Stone in Las Vegas.
Guest:It's all documented.
Guest:You can go online and pick it up right now.
Guest:You can get George Wallace with Sly and the Family Stone in Las Vegas.
Guest:He came out on stage and he sang those old songs.
Guest:Like I said, he was 20 minutes late.
Guest:Some people walking out.
Guest:I knew this was bullshit.
Guest:I knew he was, because he never showed up on time when he was back in the day when we were in college.
Guest:People were walking out.
Guest:I knew this was bullshit.
Guest:Get the fuck out of it.
Guest:They were walking out, but the few people that
Guest:The people that did stay out of the 800 only sold 500 tickets a night because I know I had to promote and give other tickets away.
Guest:But he come out and he started singing and he had to get into it.
Guest:And he started singing, if you want me to stay.
Guest:And then he got into the other song, dance and hire.
Guest:And all of a sudden people were crying on top of the tables.
Guest:It was stupid.
Guest:He was only out there for 25 minutes.
Marc:And they loved it.
Guest:And that was fine with me.
Guest:That was fine with me.
Guest:And I was on stage that slide a slide.
Guest:And this guy was so good.
Guest:He went around from the back of the house to the front of the house.
Guest:And he came down from the front of the house and came back on stage again.
Guest:And it was amazing.
Guest:So I love that.
Guest:And I have all of this stuff documented.
Guest:Maybe I should put it out.
Guest:Some of the things I've done in Las Vegas.
Guest:Who else?
Guest:Jennifer Holliday, like I said, War.
Guest:I had a group called, a young group called Mosaic.
Guest:They were probably the most, and it's one of those new groups that kids sing without music, but they make their own music and soccer group.
Guest:And the place became a talent show, and they would come out, and they would be my opening act, and we'd have music on stage, and I started giving away shit.
Guest:I wanted to be the black Oprah.
Guest:I thought I was a rich black lady.
Guest:Giving away shit, giving away diamonds.
Guest:I gave away a car.
Guest:So you did this for 10 years?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I did it for 10 years until one night a friend of mine came on stage and said, all right, we've been here long enough, and we're going to close down this year.
Guest:So that was my best friend of 45 years.
Marc:Who's that?
Guest:So we tend to listen to each other.
Guest:That's Seinfeld.
Marc:Oh, yeah?
Guest:That's Seinfeld, yeah.
Guest:So if you really look into it, like George on Seinfeld?
Guest:That's actually pretty much me.
Guest:I'm the one.
Guest:I'm the one that was his real roommate for 13 years.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You lived with him for 13 years?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:We shared apartment for 13 years.
Guest:129 West 81st Street right there in New York City.
Guest:Why for so long?
Guest:Well, how are we to make money that long?
Guest:What do you mean?
Marc:But you were both like you were traveling around, though, right?
Marc:You weren't always there.
Guest:He wasn't always making money.
Guest:His ass was broke.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:So you just split the apartment and you both you used it when you were in New York.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And then we were there quite a bit, but not a lot.
Guest:You know, I was best man in his wedding.
Guest:I always like to throw this joke into it.
Guest:I'm the father of his kids, you know, so we're pretty close.
Guest:So I wish everybody had a friend like Jerry.
Guest:And like I said today, I'm surprised he hasn't interrupted this call.
Guest:It's just good to have a friend like that, you know.
Guest:Yeah, that's why I'm so blessed to have my best friend is the number one man making money in comedy.
Guest:So I look at it like this, Mark.
Guest:I take advantage of it.
Guest:You know, he got a boat.
Guest:He got a yacht, not a yacht.
Guest:You got a jet.
Guest:I got a jet.
Guest:So we're just that close in friendship.
Marc:Well, I'm glad you guys have the same toys.
Marc:oh we've done some stupid stuff with the toys you know but and life is good comedy is good too now i don't know about you are you uh like i can't wait to get back on stage but i can wait yeah i'm okay you know i i've been uh you know i do this i do i talk to a lot of people on this show and uh i've been doing the i i i the break hasn't been terrible it's been terrifying but it hasn't been terrible
Guest:Right, right.
Marc:Now, what's this book?
Marc:You put out a book of your tweets?
Guest:I can't believe I'm talking to you.
Guest:You know, the Twitter world became so big.
Guest:I'm like two or three years late.
Guest:I started like 2011.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And putting out jokes on those tweets, little online ramblings from my head.
Marc:Bull twit and whatnot.
Guest:Bull twit.
Guest:I wanted to say bullshit, but I said, oh, let's change it to bullshit and whatnot.
Guest:Whatnot becomes such an interesting part.
Guest:Whatnot is the biggest word in the world.
Guest:That means I can do anything.
Marc:Right.
Guest:And whatnot.
Marc:So it's not just not just tweets.
Guest:They don't have tweets at all.
Guest:I don't know what the fuck they are.
Guest:Because they don't make sense to me.
Guest:Because I got to do this in 140 characters.
Guest:You know, my jokes are not even structured, let alone 140 characters.
Guest:So I started little things like, and I waited for a while.
Guest:Why should I do my jokes and give them away to people?
Guest:And it hit me that, well, you know, there's 500 million tweets per day.
Guest:And some of these people across the world, they're never going to get to see me.
Guest:Why don't I share some of these jokes with some of these people?
Guest:And it became so successful and people like it.
Guest:And it's like online ramblings on my head.
Guest:I do like stupid stuff like the top nine.
Guest:Shout out to the top nine.
Guest:Shout out to the top five bells in the world.
Guest:Bells?
Guest:So just little things like Liberty Bell, Saved by the Bell, and I go on to how many other bells.
Guest:But little things in the book, and the book is online and people are buying it like crazy.
Guest:I'm already into my second printing, Bull Twit.
Guest:And you self-published it?
Guest:Yes, I did.
Guest:Of course.
Guest:And the quality of the book is so good.
Guest:And I'm doing stupid shit, Mark.
Guest:This book you got your eyes on here is, I hope I put it up right.
Marc:For the bathroom.
Marc:You put it and read it in the bathroom.
Guest:No, you don't read this in the bathroom.
Guest:You can, but it's a great coffee table.
Guest:People buy it.
Guest:The book sells for $19.95.
Guest:But if you buy five books, I will charge you $120.
Guest:Because I do stupid shit like that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And people are falling for it.
Guest:I have a hard copy here, which I should have sent you.
Guest:Did you get a copy of the book from me?
Marc:I did not.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:And this hardcover is $140.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:What happened, Mr. Promotion?
Marc:Where's my fucking book?
Guest:I guess that's your fuck you, isn't it?
Guest:You'll get a book coming.
Guest:I hope you get a chance to read.
Guest:I know we're so busy.
Guest:People send us so much books and shit.
Guest:We don't get to read everything.
Marc:I know.
Marc:I know.
Marc:I know.
Marc:That's true.
Marc:That's true.
Guest:But you should get one because this is a good book.
Guest:I'm getting ready to go into my second book called More Bull Twit.
Guest:But what I really wanted to write a book about.
Guest:mark was how trump fucked up my life that that's the book i wanted to write what and uh yeah i wanted to write a book and i should have done it six months ago how trump fucked up my life you know that guy let's let's talk about oh my i can't believe we haven't talked about it yesterday was like a relief like the black people say i was born again in god i don't know what happened yesterday like the stress off my shoulder was just crazy for everybody man
Guest:I felt so good.
Guest:I don't know what Biden has done today, but yesterday was so good.
Guest:I call him a walking circus peanut, that orange fucker.
Guest:He messed up my life romantically so, financially so, mentally so, relationship-wise, my family.
Guest:I can't go visit my family.
Guest:He really screwed up my life.
Guest:And I've been confined here in this condo in Atlanta since March.
Yeah.
Marc:Did you ever know that guy?
Marc:Did you ever work at his hotel?
Marc:Did you ever meet him?
Guest:I stayed in his hotel one time.
Guest:When Jerry got married, everybody stayed at his hotel.
Guest:I don't like him.
Guest:I had a chance to meet him one time when some friends of mine were on, what's the name of his show?
Guest:apprentice apprentice yeah and i just never liked him and i just because i because i'm from new york i live in new york and i know we know bullshitters and i knew yeah i didn't want i had i did conan once and he was on with me and and the segment producer asked me if i wanted to meet him and i said no no no so that's my magician friend's name out in uh in las vegas the two guys uh
Guest:uh oh pen and teller pen and teller so i went to support them in new york city at the finals yeah and they said trump is coming in you want to mean i said fuck no yeah i don't even want to shake hands but to get me and now florida is the most fucked up state in america right yeah and now this idiot is down there even more fucked up yeah yeah he's the he's the king of uh he's the king of florida
Guest:They don't want him down there, so they got to get rid of him.
Guest:They got to get rid of this guy.
Marc:It's nice to have him off our back.
Marc:It was good talking to you, George.
Marc:Did we do anything?
Marc:Did I say anything, Mark?
Marc:I want to thank you for having me on the show.
Marc:I love talking to you.
Marc:I want you to call Jerry Seinfeld and tell him what a good time we had.
Guest:You actually told me to tell you hello.
Marc:I know.
Marc:Tell him hello.
Marc:I'm serious.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Okay.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Me and Jerry, we had a nice meeting of the minds, me and Jerry.
Guest:I know everything.
Guest:Meeting of the minds.
Guest:I know everything comes down.
Guest:Trust me.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I need to thank you for having me.
Guest:I don't know what I've ever been on with you before.
Guest:And I know I heard so much about you and I know you're so great.
Guest:And I learned from guys like you.
Guest:You don't know that, do you?
Guest:I like watching other comedians and learning from younger comedians than myself.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:Yeah, because you guys are, you know, I'm old school, but you guys and I have to go on to show you that I'm still kicking ass.
Guest:I have to prove myself.
Marc:Oh, no, I watch you.
Marc:You got everything lands, man.
Marc:You're punching away.
Marc:You don't fuck around.
Marc:It's all coming down.
Guest:That might be I'm trying to change because when I when I go on stage, I do go up there to work.
Guest:I do go up there to kick ass.
Guest:Yeah, I work.
Guest:I talk too fast and I need to calm down and just do half the material.
Guest:So what I'm going to do when I do go back, Mark, I got so much new material to talk about.
Marc:Slow down.
Guest:Yeah, because I'm going to slow down.
Guest:I want to be a new me.
Guest:I want to talk about some things I didn't get a chance to talk about last year.
Marc:But I mean, it sounds like you'll be loaded.
Marc:You'll be you'll be ready to go when this shit lifts.
Guest:I think so.
Guest:I keep saying I'm going to have to have a new show, but I'm going to be ready to go.
Guest:And what I'm also going to do, Mark, some jokes I did 30 years ago that the young kids, maybe nobody remember, I'm going to bring them in as new jokes.
Guest:They want to know the difference.
Marc:Yeah, why not?
Marc:It's time to recycle those fuckers.
Guest:Recycle, yeah, because I did a joke.
Guest:I've got lots of jokes I could bring back, but I've got so much new stuff.
Guest:I enjoy doing the new jokes.
Marc:I think about that, too.
Marc:There was a lot of jokes that I did before anybody knew who I was that were great jokes, and no one knows them.
Guest:All you need to do is be funny.
Guest:You deliver that joke, and that's what they're going to remember you about.
Marc:If they leave going, that guy was hilarious, that's okay.
Marc:And if they leave going like, I hope that guy's okay, that's okay.
Guest:As long as they don't say, he was pretty funny.
Marc:Oh, yeah, or like, I don't remember anything he said.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, he's pretty funny.
Guest:He's pretty good.
Marc:Well, you're a pro.
Guest:What does that mean?
Marc:You're one of the best, buddy.
Marc:It's great talking to you.
Marc:I wish you the best.
Marc:Stay healthy.
Guest:You got to deal.
Guest:I'm going to stay healthy.
Guest:I'm going to stay smart.
Guest:I'm going to stay home.
Guest:And I'm going to stay black.
Guest:How about that?
Marc:Okay.
Marc:I believe you.
Marc:Take it easy, George.
Guest:God bless you, man.
Guest:See you.
Marc:There you go.
Marc:The book.
Marc:Go look at his Twitter feed.
Marc:The book is Bull Twit and Whatnot at GeorgeWallace.net.
Marc:So, all right, take care of yourselves.
Marc:Seriously.
Marc:Try to understand that most of us are in some sort of...
Marc:Fairly deep PTSD, and it's going to take a bit.
Marc:It's a little daunting.
Marc:It's a little weird.
Marc:There's a space to it.
Marc:It's a darkness to it still, and also a darkness to the reality we're living in, even though the monster's gone.
Marc:All right?
Marc:I'll play a little guitar here, a little dirty stuff.
Marc:Okay.
Okay.
guitar solo
guitar solo
Marc:Boomer lives.
Marc:Monkey LaFonda.
Marc:Cat angels everywhere, right?
Yeah.