Episode 116 - Sarah Silverman
Marc:Lock the gates!
Guest:Are we doing this?
Guest:Really?
Guest:Wait for it.
Guest:Are we doing this?
Guest:Wait for it.
Guest:Pow!
Guest:What the fuck?
Guest:And it's also, eh, what the fuck?
Guest:What's wrong with me?
Guest:It's time for WTF!
Guest:What the fuck?
Guest:With Marc Maron.
Marc:Okay, let's do this.
Marc:How are you?
Marc:What the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fucking ears?
Marc:What the fuck nicks?
Marc:Where the fuck are you?
Marc:Seriously, where are you right now?
Marc:Because I can tell you where I am.
Marc:I'm in Dallas, Texas.
Marc:I'm in a hotel overlooking a park that looks unfinished or something.
Marc:I don't know what's going on here.
Marc:It's not that I'm not having a good time in Texas.
Marc:I've been here before.
Marc:I grew up next door in New Mexico.
Marc:I've traveled to Texas.
Marc:I've had some fairly horrendous times in Texas.
Marc:There was a let's go over them, shall we?
Marc:OK, how about the time I was in San Antonio working at the River Center Comedy Club at the right there on the Riverwalk in San Antonio?
Marc:And they put me up in a condo that really looked like it had not been cleaned in six years.
Marc:There's nothing more disgusting than a fake leather couch that has rips in it.
Marc:So the foam is coming out and it's sticky.
Marc:yeah that that happened and a rug you know when rugs get to a point where they no longer look like it's possible to clean them and you have no idea what went on in that rug and also bed sheets that are great you know i can't even go there anymore i'm done with that all i know is i remembered looking out over the river walk in and of itself a parade of the obese uh i i thought how did this happen why am i here what have i done god was it that i didn't believe in you is this some sort of
Marc:jobian adventure you're putting me through what is next what could possibly be next and on that particular night what was next was uh four people showed up at the show one uh two of them were a couple and they heckled so that was that night now this is different look there's a there's a guy in a tie
Marc:throwing a football to a fella dressed in a football uniform in this small park in the middle of downtown Dallas.
Marc:And it seems to be some sort of predatory situation here going.
Marc:There seems to be several parking meters around the park, and then they have these little shaded areas in the park, and perched in the shaded areas seem to be traffic cops.
Marc:So this is some sort of setup for people who may be a minute or two over.
Marc:This is, oh, look, there's a Doberman Pinscher with a woman who looks like she should own a Doberman Pinscher.
Marc:That happens.
Marc:I don't know what's going on, but I've seen it before.
Marc:And I just want to be clear, I'm staying at a hotel here in Dallas, Texas, severely landlocked, that has a nautical theme.
Marc:I don't understand any of it.
Marc:All I know is that wherever I'm staying, the area seems somewhat abandoned and there seems to be just an amazing amount of Texan fat around.
Marc:I saw two of the fattest policemen I've ever seen in my life and they were women.
Marc:Not that that makes it different.
Marc:That's not a sexist statement.
Marc:It's more of a statement about fat policemen.
Marc:I mean, how can you keep a city safe if you can't run?
Marc:Am I wrong?
Marc:And then someone told me that they have the highest murder rate in the in the country right here in Dallas.
Marc:Well, that's because you could probably shoot somebody within, you know, throwing distance of a cop and just and just run slowly.
Marc:Maybe it'll light jog and and get off scot free.
Marc:That actually would encourage murderers to challenge the police to catch them.
Marc:I'm a little lost.
Marc:I'm a little tired.
Marc:I'm a little overwhelmed.
Marc:I've been working very hard.
Marc:And now I seem to be the guy that goes out on the road with a big duffel bag full of merch.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:I'm traveling with my T-shirts now to gigs, which I never did.
Marc:I never brought CDs.
Marc:I never brought T-shirts because I just didn't have the confidence to deal with it.
Marc:I didn't have the confidence to be rejected for my merchandise.
Marc:But now it's become a necessity.
Marc:I have become salesman.
Marc:I've become traveling salesman.
Marc:I am a sort of slightly funnier Willy Loman character now without the sons or the baggage or the lying or the secret affairs or whatever else that fucking play was supposed to mean.
Marc:I watched it once.
Marc:Dustin Hoffman was good.
Marc:I liked John Malkovich's Biff.
Marc:But and, you know, I appreciated the part where don't ever pick up a pen or something like that.
Marc:And then Dustin Hoffman does it to show that, you know, he's really talking shit.
Marc:And it's just this American archetype, the salesman, the middle of the road guy, the guy that really doesn't have a life that pretends he has a life, you know, so his kids think he's something special.
Marc:But secretly, he's just a sad loser who screws around on his wife and doesn't really sell that much.
Marc:and his entire life has been a lie, and the whole mythology of the businessman as romantic figure in American literature and life is just deconstructed by Arthur Miller, a Jew who was lucky enough to marry Marilyn Monroe for a little while.
Marc:Is that pretty much it?
Marc:I'm not clear.
Marc:I would like to say, though, in Austin last night,
Marc:We had a great show.
Marc:You'll hear that soon.
Marc:It will be available.
Marc:It was the Live in Austin WTF, which was the first real sort of live WTF roadshow we did with regional comics.
Marc:And all of them were really great.
Marc:But there was some sort of weird existential theme, some sort of heightened self-awareness that I have found in my career does not necessarily lead to droves of people coming out, though the crowd was great.
Marc:I really don't know what to expect here in Dallas.
Marc:I've got a bit of the creeps.
Marc:I got something I'm going to call from this point on the Texas creeps.
Marc:I drove from, um, Austin to Dallas, uh, with, uh, with, uh, Ashley, the intern.
Marc:It was very exciting.
Marc:We listened to music with a small device that you hook onto an iPod that then, you know, hijacks an FM station.
Marc:Uh, but every time it's interesting because while we were doing it, we were listening to music and every time that it would start to fade, uh,
Marc:all of a sudden they'd break up and all of a sudden you'd hear like, Christ the Lord, or amen, or in this scripture, nothing but Christian radio out in the middle of Texas to the point where that landscape, given the number of rusted out cars and strange businesses that you drive by and you have a moment where you look at them and go, who the fuck goes there?
Marc:What are they doing in that strange industrial area?
Marc:How can you just manufacture round huts?
Marc:Do people buy that?
Marc:Look at that.
Marc:That is a place that only manufactures things that you can hook targets up to shoot at.
Marc:That there is a bleakness to the Texan landscape where two hours into the three-hour trip, I was thinking about Jesus.
Marc:I was thinking that Jesus may be a reasonable alternative than even driving through Texas, let alone living there.
Marc:But again, I don't want to condescend.
Marc:I don't want to say that Texas is a bad place because we all know that they think it is the only place.
Marc:The Texans, again, not condescending.
Marc:I'm looking forward to being proven wrong tonight that Dallas is not creepy and that there's a lot to be had here.
Marc:There's culture and history.
Marc:And look at that.
Marc:There's two ladies with that Doberman now.
Marc:Again, that's not surprising to me.
Marc:And there's no stereotype there.
Marc:You can do with it what you want.
Marc:But it's not something unfamiliar to me.
Marc:The two women with a large dog scenario.
Marc:And I just mean that casually, not in any personal sense.
Marc:It's not something I've experienced by walking into an apartment with somebody and saying, whoa, whoa, what's with the dog and who's that chick?
Marc:I'm just saying...
Marc:sitting here at the window at both times I've been in Texas and I've been sort of bleak and existentially challenged and and in a window I feel like some sort of lone assassin of some kind and it seems that what I've done here is assassinated the culture of Texas and I don't want to do that I do know that George W. Bush lives here I wonder if he's in the phone book maybe I should just drive by
Marc:That would be interesting.
Marc:He can't be doing much.
Marc:He's probably just sitting there.
Marc:I picture George W. Bush, when I picture him like post-presidency, what's he doing?
Marc:And I picture him asking himself the same question on a couch alone, maybe watching a little television.
Marc:Occasionally getting up, walking around the house, maybe chuckling at a picture of him with a foreign dignitary from his time as president, and then sitting back down, never once thinking about the situation that he left this country in.
Marc:Don't want to get political, but that's how I picture it.
Marc:So this is Mark Maron reporting from Dallas.
Marc:Now I'd like us to get into a conversation that I had with Sarah Silverman, the lovely and filthy Sarah Silverman, who I've known, it feels like, since she was 15.
Marc:But that's not true.
Marc:Maybe that's just some fantasy of mine.
Marc:I don't know, but I talked to her at her Beverly Hills apartment, and I believe it was a fine conversation.
Marc:So let's enjoy that now.
Marc:This is Marc Maron coming to you from Texas.
Marc:What do I have to plug?
Marc:I don't have my book in front of me.
Marc:I'm going to be at the Punchline in San Francisco in November.
Marc:I'm going to be in Cincinnati at Go Bananas also in November.
Marc:That's the first and second week of November.
Marc:First week, Cincinnati.
Marc:Second week, Punchline.
Marc:And there's probably more to plug, but I haven't got anything on it right now.
Marc:So I'm going to lay down in my captain's bed here in the nautically themed hotel.
Marc:I don't want to mention the name, even though I'll be gone for two days by the time this airs.
Marc:I just don't want to slander such a lovely.
Marc:Oh, there's pineapples.
Marc:There's pineapples on the comforter.
Marc:Okie doke.
Marc:Enjoy Sarah Silverman.
Marc:Sarah Silverman's apartment is where we're at.
Marc:I don't think we're going to swim.
Marc:It's a little chilly.
Guest:Am I wrong?
Marc:Would you do it?
Guest:I will swim.
Guest:I think Tall John is coming over at four.
Guest:He wants to swim.
Marc:Who's Tall John?
Guest:You don't know Tall John?
Marc:How am I supposed to know Tall John?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:You know what?
Guest:I just assumed because I've known you for so many years that you know everyone I know.
Marc:Oh, I think I missed a good... Oh, shit.
Guest:Yeah, wait.
Marc:I missed a big section of your life.
Guest:Yes.
Marc:The part where Tall John came in.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:Tall John is... I would say he's my best friend or one of my top two to three best friends.
Marc:Really?
Marc:What does he do?
Guest:He wrote for my show.
Guest:He's a writer.
Guest:He writes for an animated show called Bob's Burgers now.
Marc:What's his whole name?
Guest:John Schrader.
Marc:Maybe I met him.
Guest:But he's six foot ten.
Marc:Six foot ten?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:He's a giant.
Marc:I mean, I can't say maybe I met him.
Marc:I would definitely remember meeting that guy.
Guest:Yeah, he always says he's like really shy and sweet, you know, I mean, but he still says like, I know what it's like to be famous because when I walk into a room, people stare at me and it's awkward.
Guest:But it's true.
Guest:He's one of those guys that when he walks into a room, people go like, look how fucking tall that
Marc:Well, 6'10 is freakish.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It's a handicap.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Does he have giant feet too?
Marc:Does he walk normal?
Guest:He walks normal, but if we go to anywhere where you sit, like a play or a movie or an airplane, he's got to be on the aisle.
Guest:I mean, he...
Marc:He's also got to be in the back, too, where people are going to hate him.
Guest:And he never, like any show he goes that's like standing room, he just goes to the way back because he's so polite.
Guest:That's so sad.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And he also says, you know, tall people die early.
Guest:They don't live long.
Marc:Oh, that's so sad.
Guest:And then I was like, that's not true.
Guest:And then he sent me links to- Statistics?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Of people dying because they're tall?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know what?
Marc:Someone sent me a link to a picture that we did for New York Magazine.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Marc:Do you know that picture?
Guest:It was in my book.
Oh.
Guest:Do you want me to show you?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, I'm so sorry.
Guest:Am I in your book then?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, that's so cool.
Marc:I had no idea.
Marc:Do you have a copy for me since I'm pressed?
Guest:I think so.
Guest:There's probably like one or two left.
Marc:Do you have a big box of them?
Guest:I did.
Marc:Did it take a lot out of you?
Guest:It did, and I'm really happy with it, and I'm happy with how it was reviewed, but I don't think it was like a set.
Guest:I'm not for everyone, as it turns out, and I've always seemed to know that.
Marc:I find that about me as well.
Guest:Luckily, they didn't know that when they asked me to write a book.
Marc:Oh, they knew exactly who you were.
Marc:There's no mysteries about who you are.
Guest:You know, I'm lucky in that I've done commercials and made good money, and then the great part is they don't air because what happens is they do some research and find out that I'm popular, and so they...
Guest:pay me to do a commercial or a bunch of commercials right they did and then they do a little more research and find out that i'm hated more than love you know like more people you're famous even more people hate me and then they don't air it and then it's great you're infamous um oh yes it is look at that there you are oh there's that picture
Guest:There it is.
Guest:Isn't that funny?
Guest:I don't think that was in the magazine.
Guest:That was literally a... You know how they'll just have Polaroids on the floor from test shots?
Guest:And I grabbed one.
Marc:That's what it looks like.
Marc:That's right, because that wasn't the one in the magazine.
Marc:So look at this.
Marc:Is this book an honest book about your life?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It is?
Marc:Because Mark Cohen's in it.
Guest:Yep, there's Mark Cohen.
Guest:There's the tampons that were on our wall in our early apartment.
Guest:When you lived with Mark Cohen.
Guest:No, I lived with Beth Tapper.
Marc:Oh.
Marc:Who was the one roommate that everyone liked, the Princess Leia-obsessed roommate?
Guest:Oh, Allison.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Is she in the book?
Guest:Shit.
Guest:I don't think she is.
Guest:You forgot to put her in there?
Guest:I just don't think there's a picture of her.
Marc:Oh, there's your dad.
Guest:I met your dad.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I met him.
Guest:There's a lot of pictures of my dad.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You know what's funny?
Guest:There's a whole chapter of his voicemails.
Marc:Did you ever notice about how much your dad looks like several of your boyfriends?
Guest:That's been pointed out to me, yeah.
Marc:But you didn't write about that?
Guest:No, because I don't think that's unique.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Alec, my current and final, possibly, boyfriend, says that.
Marc:Are we breaking news?
Marc:Are you engaged?
Guest:No.
Guest:Come on.
Guest:No, I'm not going to get married.
Guest:But he thinks that my dad looks like Sam Waterston, which I love the idea of that.
Marc:Your dad looks a little like Sam Waterston.
Marc:Your dad also looks like Mark Cohen and Dave Attell.
Guest:That's, oh, when my dad was young, he looked just like when David Tell was young.
Guest:Do you remember this roommate?
Marc:Of course I remember her.
Marc:She was stunning.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, I didn't have sex with either of your roommates or you.
Guest:No, which is crazy.
Guest:It's ridiculous.
Guest:You rampaged.
Marc:I rampaged a little bit, but how did we not have sex?
Guest:As did I. I know.
Marc:Can we go over that?
Marc:How did I not make the list?
Guest:Because I'm not into...
Guest:I love you, but I'm not attracted, which most women are, to the kind of deep tortured thing.
Marc:Oh, you're not?
Guest:Well, I guess you could have called to tell that.
Guest:I mean, I guess I am if you look at everyone I've ever dated.
Marc:But can we just talk about it now?
Marc:Do you believe that because you slept with so many clowns that it made you funnier?
No.
Marc:Did you learn from all the comics you dated?
Guest:I think I learned from all the comics I was and people I was surrounded by just like we all did.
Guest:Did you learn from all the waitresses you fucked?
Marc:I didn't fuck that many waitresses.
Marc:But I learned something from all of the women I have sex with.
Marc:I just want to go, because I'm hung up on this idea, because I married a comedian, all right?
Guest:Right.
Marc:And I'm no longer married to her, and I'm not hung up on that.
Marc:I don't want to talk about that.
Marc:But somebody, another comedian.
Guest:Wait, but you just brought it up, right?
Guest:Right.
Guest:I didn't bring it up.
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:You're saying you don't want to talk about it.
Guest:I'm building up to something here.
Guest:Okay, sorry.
Marc:Like, somebody had said to her, a comedian, who I don't need to... All I can mention names.
Marc:Felicia Michaels, who was married to my... Oh, I remember her, yeah.
Guest:Sure.
Marc:She was married to my... Used to be married to my old manager.
Guest:Is she a photographer now?
Marc:She's a photographer, but she's also starting to do some stand-up.
Marc:But she said to my wife, before we got married, about me, about being a comic and dating another comic, she told my wife to fuck me until she got funny.
Marc:What?
Marc:Yeah, she said, well, fuck him till you're funny.
Marc:Fuck him till you get funny.
Marc:Basically, her idea was that you just fuck the comedian till you get funny.
Guest:Well, that's ugly.
Marc:It's ridiculous, right?
Guest:That's a bummer.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Do you think that if she was sitting here, she would say, yeah, I said that?
Guest:Or do you think that she had a different perspective on what she said?
Marc:Well, I think it was sort of a lighthearted comment.
Marc:But being that, you know, we're all... You know what's interesting about that?
Marc:What?
Guest:And I saw her, you know, in a very midpoint in her career, your ex-wife.
Guest:But I know that she would open for you a lot.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And this is nothing against her.
Guest:But, boy, you know, she was such a little you.
Guest:Like, you know how there's a bunch of little hotels out there?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:And there's a bunch of little Marc Marons.
Guest:A couple, yeah.
Guest:But she was, yeah, definitely a little Marc Maron.
Guest:And that's such a...
Guest:You know, it's something maybe you can't help in the beginning when you're first figuring out who you are.
Guest:But, oh, geez, you got to avoid that.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Well, I think she quit altogether.
Marc:But you had, you know, you had relationships, you know, that were long going with Colin Quinn, David Tell, Mark Cohen.
Guest:Colin was like three months when I was 19.
Guest:And we've been friends for the past 20 years.
Marc:OK, then Dave was real.
Guest:Dave was along, that was like five years on and off of a very tumultuous sea of love.
Marc:And you were young.
Marc:And then Mark Cohen was for a couple years.
Guest:One year.
Marc:And now here's the thing.
Guest:And he's also, like, I've been friends with him for almost 20 years.
Marc:Yeah, he's sweet.
Marc:Are you and Attell still okay?
Yeah.
Guest:We are okay now.
Guest:There's a long time where he would not talk to me.
Guest:Way too many years where I was like, really?
Guest:But that's his thing.
Guest:For a long time, his was the name that if someone said it, it gave me that knot in my stomach.
Guest:Sadness?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But because I adore him, you know, but things are I mean, I don't see him.
Guest:And, you know, when I do, he gives me a hug.
Guest:It's nice to see him.
Guest:And, you know, we've had occasional emails back and forth.
Guest:So I it's nice.
Marc:I interviewed him.
Marc:I talked to him for about an hour and 15 minutes.
Marc:And I really think that might be the longest anyone has ever talked to him.
Marc:He doesn't talk to you know, he's not a big talker.
Guest:I just wish he, I hope he finds happiness because he deserves it.
Marc:Do you think he's looking for it?
Guest:No.
Guest:No, well, that's all it takes.
Marc:Is to look for it?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But here's my theory.
Guest:To want it.
Marc:Here's my theory, and I'm going to tell it to you because I've had this theory a long time, and I've said it out loud.
Marc:That I think that when you guys dated, when you left or when you broke up or however it went down,
Guest:You were both terrible at being boyfriends and girlfriends.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:But he was heartbroken.
Marc:And I believe that it defined... No, I think this is a benefit.
Marc:I believe that that heartbreak in his life is what defined him as a comic.
Marc:That after that, despite the fact that there was unhappiness, that that's where he really took off.
Guest:Well, you're welcome, Dave.
Marc:It's my theory.
Marc:God forbid that it's true.
Marc:Oh, you don't think so?
Guest:Well, I think...
Guest:I don't think that's the deepest, deepest, deepest truth, but I think that he might see it that way and, you know, earnestly.
Guest:But I think if he were to...
Guest:He was a great comic when I met him.
Marc:Yeah, he was, yeah.
Guest:But he didn't smoke and he barely drank.
Marc:Right.
Guest:But now I hear he's sober.
Guest:He's real, you know, and he certainly isn't any less funny for it.
Marc:No, no, he's a great guy.
Marc:And I wasn't trying to bring up something that's weird.
Marc:It's just this theory I had that, you know, that when he got, when the shit hit the fan emotionally, that that really turned him into this kind of,
Guest:Well, well, well, what do we have here?
Guest:A girl making a guy funny.
Marc:Yeah, exactly.
Marc:That's good, right?
Guest:But it's all bullshit.
Marc:It is.
Marc:It's bullshit.
Guest:All right.
Guest:Who knows?
Guest:It was a lifetime ago.
Guest:I can't take responsibility for that person I was.
Marc:I remember both.
Marc:When you were 19, though, I remember the way that you told jokes and the way that your style... I mean, you've become a much better joke writer and you're much funnier, but you were still who you were.
Marc:Don't you ever listen to yourself at that age and go like, I'm pretty true to myself?
Guest:I saw a really early evening at the improv or something, and I was...
Guest:To me, it was like, oh, God.
Guest:But there were some things that I still have now that I was surprised just mannerism-wise or whatever.
Guest:But it was a little kind of like cutesy-wootsy thing, too.
Marc:Yeah, you're not like that at all anymore.
Marc:You're not cute at all.
Guest:I mean, I feel like, I mean, I am turning 40 this year, but I mean, that's not possible because what 40 year old would wear, you know, jeans with faux suspenders?
Guest:Those aren't even real suspenders?
Guest:Non-operational suspenders hanging.
Marc:They don't go up over your thing?
Guest:No, I guess they do go up over my thing.
Marc:I'd like the listeners to know that James, the assistant, is still here.
Guest:No.
Guest:Why, do you want him to leave?
Marc:No, I'm fine with it.
Guest:Hey, anything you have to say to me, you can say to James.
Marc:That's what I was wondering.
Marc:I was wondering, is he there to go?
Marc:Miss Silverman is not going to answer that question.
Guest:James, James is my assistant.
Guest:It's crazy that I have an assistant, but he was my assistant when I actually had a busy, crazy life that Comedy Central paid for him to be my assistant.
Guest:And he had lots of things to do.
Guest:And we had long days and there was a lot of work to be done.
Guest:I'm in a transitional period right now.
Guest:I'm not really sure what I'm doing next or what's coming next.
Guest:But I kept James because I don't want to lose him.
Guest:And we just kind of sit and stare at each other all day.
Guest:And I think about maybe there's some sort of drink I might want that I could easily get myself.
Marc:Do you ever just sit there and when you're staring quietly at James and just sit there wondering, what am I going to have James do now?
Guest:Yeah, sometimes I have to really almost just make things up for him to do.
Guest:Sometimes he'll say, is there anything I can do for you?
Guest:And I go, I don't know, do you have friends you want to have a lunch with?
Guest:Are you working on any kind of spec script you need to work on?
Guest:He's written two great spec scripts, and he's working on a screen right now.
Guest:For who?
Guest:For you?
Guest:No, for spec.
Guest:Which shows?
Marc:I know.
Marc:TV scripts?
Guest:Oh, he did a Sarah Silverman program, and he did An American Dad.
Guest:And they were both great.
Guest:He's got an agent very interested in him.
Guest:And he's young.
Guest:He's going to be like a big comedy writer.
Guest:And someday he'll write about his days with me and how much he learned.
Guest:Right, James?
Marc:I have learned a lot.
Marc:Have you learned a lot from Sarah?
Marc:You have learned a lot?
Marc:Like what, James?
Guest:Oh, no.
Guest:About me or about Sarah?
Guest:What have you learned from Sarah Silverman?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, both microphones.
Guest:I've learned just to continue working on what you're passionate about and to work hard and things do not come easily all the time and surround yourself with positive people and all that kind of bullshit.
Guest:All the cliches, they're all true.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:That's a lot.
Guest:I've taught him cliches.
Marc:You've brainwashed him.
Marc:He just was looking at me like dead-eyed almost.
Guest:He sat here while I've done like, you know, when you do like a thousand radio interviews in a row and I start getting like self-conscious, like there's a person who's hearing me repeat 18 things.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:Where they go like, okay.
Guest:Organically.
Marc:You're on with Jenny and the Sandman in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Marc:Like that shit.
Marc:And then like you do your bit and then you're like, okay, this is Washington DC.
Marc:The host name is Jackie and the other guy is the bean head.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Is that like that?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:What are you doing now, Sarah?
Marc:Are you worried?
Marc:Are you freaking out?
Guest:I'm kind of not worried.
Marc:What happened with the show?
Guest:It got canceled.
Marc:That's it?
Marc:Was there a fight?
Marc:Was there a reason?
Marc:Did they tell you?
Marc:Because a lot of times they don't tell you.
Marc:And they're like, oh yeah, we canceled your show.
Guest:Well, I mean, there were 14 months between 10 episode seasons, and we had no momentum.
Guest:They really are... And when I say retarded, this is not to be offensive to the mentally challenged, but literally what the word retarded means.
Guest:The people who were running Comedy Central were that.
Guest:And...
Guest:I'm not saying I'm a perfect person, but it just seems like there are obvious moves they could have done business-wise that could have helped.
Guest:And the second, like, they literally, after the first episode aired and didn't do well in the ratings this last third season, they took off all the reruns.
Guest:So, I mean, my TiVo only TiVo'd reruns because I was TiVo-ing something else when my show was on.
Guest:And all of a sudden, I'd go to watch it or show it to my beau and...
Guest:And it would be like a stand up special or Stephen Colbert or like they replace the reruns right away when certainly they should realize that people watch the reruns first, you know, like people are watching it on all different airings.
Marc:So they were like trying to just erase you from the network completely.
Guest:I have no idea.
Guest:They told me that subsequently.
Guest:They're like, well, we took off all the reruns, you know, real fast.
Guest:And I was just like, oh, that's a great move.
Marc:Why would they do that?
Marc:Because they didn't want to risk having people say, where's Sarah?
Marc:When's she coming back?
Marc:I mean, why the fuck would they take reruns off?
Marc:That's like revisionism.
Marc:Like Sarah Silverman showed it never existed here.
Guest:I have no idea.
Guest:And it's the kind of thing like, you know when you have like, or in movies, or in real life, a kid who has a terrible, not a good relationship with his father, a strained relationship with his father, and then somebody who works with his father says, oh, your dad is so proud of you, and the kid's like, what?
Guest:You know, like things would get back to me about them, like talking about the show or bragging the show in meetings where I'm going like, are you kidding?
Guest:Like they, they, from what our, from our perspective, we were like such a, an unwanted stepchild on that show.
Guest:It was bizarre that they valued us in any way.
Guest:No, all throughout.
Marc:And even now they say that about your show?
Marc:Like they had no control over what was canceled?
Guest:I don't know about now.
Guest:But it's funny when they called to cancel.
Guest:I mean, I knew we were canceled.
Guest:It wasn't a surprise at all.
Guest:And, you know, as people, I like them individual people.
Guest:But as a faceless corporation, they're garbage.
Marc:But the individual people that run that Facebook Corporation in this garbage are okay.
Guest:Gary and Ken called me, and I was just laughing because, I mean, it had been months, and I knew.
Guest:But how did they say it?
Marc:I mean, how did they say it?
Marc:These are people we've known forever.
Guest:Oh, we're calling to say you're not picked out.
Guest:I go, oh, Gary.
Guest:And they said, but we hope that you would consider working with us again in the future.
Guest:And I said, I can't imagine that ever happening.
Guest:Did you say that?
Guest:Yeah, I was just laughing.
Guest:Like, why would I do that?
Guest:Am I crazy?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Do I not learn from experience?
Guest:That said, it was a fucking awesome experience.
Guest:Yeah, it was a great show.
Guest:People liked it.
Guest:I got to make a show with all my favorite people and my closest friends, you know.
Guest:So it was a blast.
Guest:But the business side of it is just a bummer, you know.
Marc:And the book is Bedwetter.
Guest:The Bedwetter.
Marc:The Bedwetter.
Marc:Were you at Bedwetter?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That's what it's really about?
Guest:Yeah, it was a Bedwetter until I was like 16.
Marc:Holy shit.
Marc:And that's like right after you stopped peeing in your bed, you started doing comedy?
Guest:Yes.
Marc:Literally the year, you're like, I guess it's time to start comedy now.
Guest:Yeah, the first time I did it, I was 17, yeah.
Marc:I remember that.
Marc:You lived in a building kind of like this at NYU.
Guest:oh that yeah 300 mercer jeff ross lived in it i just like when i drove up here i'm like when i'm driving here because i've never been here before i'm like she lived in one of those groovy hollywood kind of apartment buildings and i drive up i'm like oh my god it's like her nyu apartment i know it's i i i moved here because it felt new yorky even though in new york i never had the opportunity to live in like a big fancy high-rise like this i lived in a five-floor walk up right um but that that was when you're a student though that place right
Guest:No, that place.
Guest:No, I was I only went to school one year.
Guest:But I was college age and my friends were still at school.
Guest:So I felt like I was still there.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But I remember that apartment.
Guest:You went to BU with my sister Susie.
Marc:Right.
Marc:I did go to BU with your sister Susie.
Marc:And then Susie became a rabbi.
Marc:And then your other sister, Laura, is a comedian, kind of, a comedy writer.
Guest:She has an actress, comic actress.
Guest:How does fucking Susie a rabbi?
Guest:It's not that different.
Guest:I mean, I guess it is like I don't know if she believes.
Guest:Yeah, she was just visiting.
Guest:I love her.
Guest:She's amazing.
Guest:It's weird because I don't think of her as super religious.
Guest:I'm, of course, not have no religion, but she doesn't like talk about God or anything.
Guest:You know, she's more into like the ritual of it all.
Marc:Does she have like nine kids?
Guest:She has five kids.
Marc:That's fucking unbelievable.
Marc:But they're not orthodox.
Guest:or are they no no they're not orthodox they just like having kids they're they're just yeah she's always even when she was little i remember she was one of five kids really yeah but we only have girls in our family so she had three girls and adopted two boys the only way you can get boys and her her husband was a campus radical as i recall yeah joseph was that his name yoseph yoseph abramowitz yeah
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:He was like Noam Chomsky when I was in college.
Guest:He was a guy like... Divest Now.
Marc:Divest Now and like hunger strikes and stuff.
Marc:I don't remember, but he was notorious.
Guest:He's total... Is he still like that?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, that's good.
Guest:But he's doing this really cool project they're doing in Israel where, you know... Are they in Israel?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Oh my God.
Guest:They're doing it up major.
Marc:Like, are they like in a settlement kind of thing?
Guest:They were on a kibbutz for like two and a half years and now they're in Jerusalem.
Guest:I still have never been to Israel.
Marc:When are you going to go to Israel?
Guest:I don't know.
Marc:That's a documentary, Sarah.
Guest:I want to go, but I just like, I'd rather not.
Guest:I'd rather watch Law and Order at home.
Marc:I know.
Marc:I went to Israel once.
Marc:I don't think I'd ever go back.
Guest:Really?
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:People say, oh, it's so good.
Guest:It's so safe.
Guest:It's so safe.
Marc:They just want you to go.
Guest:It's like people who get married and have kids and go, you have to get married and have kids because they don't want to be alone in it.
Marc:And killed by Palestinians.
Guest:Well, Susie made fun of me because I was just like, I don't want to be blown up.
Guest:I don't want to be in a cafe that explodes.
Guest:And she's like, that's just all you hear.
Guest:And then she would like call me and go, I heard what happened at Virginia Tech.
Guest:Are you okay?
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It is a good point.
Guest:But at the same time, Israel's the size of Delaware.
Guest:So it's not exactly.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:No, I get that.
Marc:They want Jews.
Marc:Jews who like to go to Israel and believe in the idea of Israel and returning to Israel like for other Jews to go there.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:And they think that we're going to go there and go, oh, my God, why did I wait so long?
Marc:I'm moving here.
Guest:It is kind of interesting to see how the kids are growing up there because, you know, Hebrew is like their first language.
Marc:Isn't that amazing?
Guest:They're, you know, super savvy.
Guest:And like you can be so independent there.
Guest:You know, it isn't like local news, you know, terror everywhere.
Guest:It's just like kids just like kind of go out like when we were kids and come home later, you know.
Guest:And they're all really – the 15-year-old just, you know, has like –
Marc:Oh my God, she's got a 15-year-old?
Guest:She has a 17-year-old and a 15-year-old.
Guest:Those are the two oldest girls.
Guest:And the 15-year-old just got kicked out of camp for dealing pot and got a tattoo of a heart on her boob.
Marc:Really?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:This is the rabbi's daughter.
Guest:isn't that always the story it sure is are you gonna have kids do you want to uh maybe adopt someday but i want it to be like when it's all i want you know i'm crazy about kids i love them but like i just i love my life i love being totally free and whimsical and i don't think you could do that necessarily with kids no because that's what kids usually do but you know i figure i'll wait until i'm like really young grandma age like 60
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And be like, oh, all I want now is to like raise a kid or two and then just do it.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I think you can do that now.
Marc:You know, I don't think I'm going to have one.
Guest:I think it's I don't think I don't think I think a lot of people have like a weird feeling of guilt over not wanting kids.
Guest:And it's just it's it's a silly, weird social pressure.
Guest:That's bizarre.
Marc:That's the weird thing.
Marc:I don't ever think like, oh, my God, I need him.
Marc:Where are they?
Marc:How come I don't have him?
Marc:I fucked up my life.
Marc:Every once in a while, I'll think when I see another kid, another one, me being a kid, when I see a kid and now as I'm older and I don't feel threatened by them because of their need for attention, I find that I interact with them and it's fun and I like it for a few minutes.
Marc:But I usually leave the interaction not going, God, I need one of those.
Guest:Yeah, I love kids so much.
Guest:I love playing with them.
Guest:I love spending time with them.
Guest:But I'll tell you, after a good half hour, I'm ready to do my own thing.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So I'm waiting for that to not be the case anymore before I have a kid.
Guest:That's not a hasty thing.
Guest:I think a lot of people go into that and they're real hasty about it.
Guest:They have kids because they're trying to keep a man or they're trying to fix a marriage or they're like for all the wrong reasons or they turned 30 or they turned 39 or they, you know, it's just like.
Guest:Or they just think they're supposed to.
Guest:There's plenty of kids out there.
Guest:Nobody needs you to have kids.
Guest:You have a kid if that's all you can do.
Marc:We're all filled up.
Guest:It's crazy because people want to have their own kids.
Guest:And yet those same people go,
Guest:don't buy dogs from a breed or don't buy dogs from a pet store get them from the shelter well i agree with that but that you get kids from a shelter yeah there's way more kids at the shelter than dogs sure yeah and you can just go down to the shelter and walk around and pick one and bring it home in a little box yeah any color any shape any kind of disability or non-disability one with three limbs yeah some people get dogs with three limbs and they're very proud of it
Guest:Yeah, or one eye.
Marc:Yeah, one eye.
Guest:There's kids like that, that are humans.
Marc:You can get them.
Marc:What's the next big plan?
Marc:Are you doing a movie?
Marc:Are you talking to networks?
Guest:Yeah, I'm listening.
Guest:I'm, first of all, excited that anyone is...
Guest:Wants to do you know, I didn't know if there was any one if I'm still People you know vital to others or whatever, but a commodity Exactly, but I guess you know some people have shown interest and stuff But I just don't know what I want to do and I kind of don't want to do anything unless I
Guest:In my heart, I know it's awesome.
Guest:I'm not saying I'm afraid to take a risk, but I don't want to do anything I'm wishy-washy about.
Guest:I just want to do it if I love it.
Guest:In the meantime, I'm going to work on my stand-up.
Guest:I just did a movie that I think is going to be really good, although probably no one will see it, but like a small, cool movie.
Guest:And...
Guest:And I have no idea what's gonna be next.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:I'm thinking about, I'm dreaming.
Guest:I'm just sitting at home and dreaming and not feeling shitty about not knowing what's next, but realizing instead, and get ready because I learned this in therapy, that we're just looking through a pinhole and we don't know what the fuck's coming up next.
Guest:So instead of going, oh my God, what if I never...
Guest:You know, have another show.
Guest:What if I do?
Guest:What if?
Guest:What if?
Guest:What if?
Guest:You don't have to predict what's going to happen.
Guest:What's going to happen will unfold.
Guest:The future is going to happen whether you predict it or not.
Guest:In the meantime, why don't you sit there and realize that everything that's happened to you so far, you have not been able to predict.
Guest:So just know that whatever's coming is not anything you're going to know right now.
Guest:If you go, oh, there's nothing out there.
Guest:There's...
Guest:No opportunities for me.
Guest:That's how it's always been.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:We're looking through a pinhole, and we don't know what's out there.
Marc:Also, you've got to stay open.
Guest:Yeah, stay open.
Marc:That's a good one, too.
Marc:You've got to be available for the next good thing to happen.
Guest:Yeah, so I'm not just sitting here waiting, but I'm sitting here and just kind of dreaming.
Guest:In the meantime, I can work on my act, which I'm totally starting over with.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Marc:And you're not sitting here going, I'm fucked.
Guest:No, I mean, the lucky thing for me is I feel like I have whatever's going to happen in my hands.
Guest:I mean, that's always been that used to be kind of my complaint.
Guest:Like, you know, nobody's looking for me to be in something.
Guest:But.
Guest:I kind of like doing my own thing.
Guest:And I always have a video camera on my couch to take to if I want to.
Guest:That's the great thing about media right now.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:But do you think that now, as you write your new act, are you going to do another one-person show?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:You don't know?
Guest:You know what?
Guest:Smart comics.
Yeah.
Guest:like let's say our friend louis ck say uh i'm taping a special in eight months so i have to write a whole new act in eight months or for him three months i don't know nothing it's nothing to him he's so prolific and um i'm just i i work really slow i'm not prolific and um i i have i i
Guest:Actually, when I have a timetable or a deadline, I make it.
Guest:So I should probably do that.
Guest:I've been a lot more disciplined.
Guest:And writing the book actually helped me with that a little bit.
Marc:It's amazing, right?
Marc:Writing a book that you have to... Deadlines are amazingly helpful.
Guest:Yeah, it becomes your job.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Marc:You get up and do it every day.
Guest:And I did realize, like, gee, if I spent three hours a day...
Guest:working on my act i would i would uh have a lot more material a lot faster but i'm a lazy fuck like all of us are but um i am starting to be a little more do you work like that do you write jokes no but i'm starting to you know like you know what i did is like whenever i have like a show at largo or show ucb or something yeah
Guest:I'll go, all right, I'm going to take today and I'm going to go to some hotel lobby and sit with a legal pad or my laptop.
Guest:And because I'm around people, I'm going to have to look like I'm working and it forces me to get something done.
Guest:And that night I'm always happy I did.
Marc:Yeah, I find that, like, you know, it was weird.
Marc:I did an interview with Judd Apatow, and he brought some of those recordings of him interviewing comics when he was 16 years old.
Marc:They're great.
Marc:It's up now.
Marc:You can listen to it.
Marc:And he had one of Shandling, and Shandling was talking about his process.
Marc:You know, little 16-year-old Judd was asking Shandling about writing jokes.
Marc:And Shandling basically said that...
Marc:here's some joke I'm working on now.
Marc:And he told the joke.
Marc:And then he started talking about how a lot of times a joke could evolve over a year's period of time.
Marc:And me as a grownup, now I was like, that was so good to hear.
Marc:Because I have jokes that I know that the setup is there and I know that the first beat is there, but they might not become full jokes for another year.
Guest:That's my biggest laziness is I'll have a two sentence joke or a one line joke that could easily become a eight minute chunk if I put fucking 10 minutes of work into it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And I just have like an act, you know, I think like in my last episode,
Guest:act i could have had you know four out four acts worth right shit if i if i spent any time on any of those you know three joke chunks i could have you know i mean i watch tig notaro i love tig she does a joke she attacks it from every possible angle and a joke that could be one line turns into 12 minutes it's just it's inspiring you know
Marc:Why don't we do that?
Marc:I don't know why I'm bringing me into it.
Guest:I agree, but you know what?
Guest:We can.
Marc:But it's not laziness.
Marc:That's something weird.
Marc:It's something different.
Marc:It's an obstacle.
Marc:We like the thrill of getting up there and making it happen on stage or seeing if we can find something.
Marc:There's something about writing jokes out where it dies on the page for me sometimes.
Marc:Has it ever happened to you?
Guest:Yeah, but I like writing jokes out, you know?
Marc:Yeah?
Guest:Personally.
Guest:Like, I mean, I can't write it like a monologue.
Guest:I mean, it becomes whatever it is on stage.
Guest:But I definitely, I'll write like a page that becomes a line.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Like, before it gets boiled down, I'll write the long version and then I'll do the short version.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:yeah which is like the did you find when you're writing your book it's like the opposite like when i started writing everything was condensed because we're so used to boiling everything down to the nut and you have to kind of learn to unlearn that and and flesh things out yeah it was a little frightening writing a book because i was like intimidated like i don't think i'm a book writer so i got very you know self-conscious right you start writing the way you think writers write and you try to sound smart and then you go who who is this person
Marc:When they sent back your edited galley with the marks on it, were you like, I'm a fucking retard?
Marc:Mine was so full of red marks.
Marc:I didn't know basic grammar stuff.
Marc:I felt like a moron.
Guest:Well...
Guest:Personally grammar has been pummeled into my brain by my mother so that wasn't that but um I I would send it to my editor and he'd send it back in the in the Revision mode and like we did it like that so when I got the galley it was it wasn't
Marc:Yeah, this was like an edited proof or something.
Guest:I found mistakes, and maybe it's because I'm so anal, but I'm just, this is not going to be popular with the people, HarperCollins, but like, you know when you write a book, you go, oh, book people, they're so hoity-toity.
Guest:New York literati, you know, people with walls of books and ladders.
Marc:Right, right, right.
Guest:And they're buffoons, just like in Hollywood.
Guest:They're fucking buffoons.
Marc:People just move in product.
Marc:Those days are over.
Marc:The Age of Integrity and Norman Miller and the New York Literati, gone.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, it kind of lives in some podcasts and some websites and some, yeah, McSweeney and stuff.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Your mom was a teacher?
Guest:No, she just was like, she was like Diane Chambers.
Guest:You know, she's very, she says like when and where.
Guest:And I remember one time Jimmy had Kelsey Grammer on his show and my mother's like, oh, I'd love to meet Kelsey Grammer.
Guest:We both are so passionate about diction.
Guest:And I'm like, he's not Frasier, mom.
Marc:Oh my God.
Guest:How's she doing?
Guest:She's doing great.
Marc:She's in New Hampshire still?
Guest:Yep.
Marc:That same house?
Guest:Mm-hmm.
Marc:Wow.
Guest:Two minutes from my dad and my stepmother.
Marc:And she's doing okay, too?
Guest:Who?
Marc:Your stepmom?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:She sends my dad over to my mom's house to get his toenails clipped.
Marc:Your mom clips your dad's toenails?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Huh.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:That's very interesting.
Guest:It's sweet.
Guest:My mom is, you know, sickly.
Guest:And she was in the hospital for like three weeks, and my stepmother visited her every day.
Marc:So were they always friends?
Guest:Uh...
Guest:No, but when I left the house, I was the last one to leave, and something happened.
Guest:And my dad actually blames it on this.
Guest:They didn't like each other, really.
Guest:And then...
Guest:My dad said, I want to drive you to college when you go.
Guest:And I said, well, mom wants to take me.
Guest:Why don't you both take me?
Guest:He's like, no, you have to decide.
Guest:I go, you know, fuck you.
Guest:You decide.
Guest:I'm not going to decide between my mother and my father.
Guest:You're being ridiculous.
Guest:Like the first time I and he said it like jolted him into reality.
Guest:And like they they've been friends and now they're like.
Guest:They've become like, they're like brother and sister.
Guest:They're like army buddies.
Guest:They went through hell together a lifetime ago and they just love each other so much.
Marc:That's amazing to me that your parents are friends.
Guest:It's really sweet.
Marc:And your stepmom's friends with your mom.
Guest:It's so sweet.
Marc:It's fucking great.
Marc:You never hear those stories.
Guest:My mom got really sick and she has this really rare disease and this happened in like 93, 94 and my stepmother who's
Guest:terrified of needles and very like can't look at the sight of blood is her blood type and she they she had a blood you know had her blood trans a blood transfusion for my mom and gave for my mom yeah oh my god and that was before they were friends like well they were they were friends and they weren't enemies but they weren't you know it's interesting and now they they love each other oh my god that's so touching yeah and they oh
Guest:now how my mom is so sweet when I was just home in Jan in July we all go home in July yeah all the kids uh yeah Susie with her kids and Laura yeah Laura actually came a different time with her boyfriend like a couple weeks later and they get scattered but we all go home when Susie's in the States with the family right
Guest:and um we were all at my mom's outside on our porch and uh my mom's new neighbors were over and she was introducing them to my dad and my stepmother and he goes she said this is donald my ex-husband and this is janice his beautiful and incredibly patient wife just so cute and what happened to your your mom's dude
Guest:He died two years ago.
Marc:Sorry.
Guest:Yeah, it was really sad.
Marc:I remember that guy.
Marc:For some reason, the trip I took with you to New Hampshire, I still remember it.
Guest:I remember them.
Marc:But I remember your mom.
Marc:I remember him because he had a beard.
Marc:And he's really thin and he didn't talk much.
Guest:Us and my mom have never seen his face.
Guest:And she just found an old high school picture of him.
Guest:And we were like, oh my God, that's what his face looks like.
Marc:What was his name?
Marc:Jim?
Guest:John.
Guest:John O'Hara.
Marc:That's so wild.
Guest:He's just the kindest, goodest man that ever existed.
Marc:He's a sweet guy.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:As a matter of fact, my niece, Aliza, at his memorial service said the cutest thing because she's like a total comic book girl, you know?
Guest:And she said, when I sat down to write something to say about Grandpa Johnny, I felt like Lois Lane writing Why the World Needs Superman.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Guest:Isn't that the fucking sweetest thing you've ever heard?
Marc:I'm going to start crying.
Guest:I know.
Guest:And then this guy got up and started talking, because it was in the paper, whatever, local paper.
Guest:And he's like, I've known John for 40 years, and I used to see him every three weeks, and people are going like, who the fuck is this guy?
Guest:Nobody knows who this is.
Guest:It was his barber.
Marc:The guy who trimmed his beard.
Marc:No one knew who he was.
Guest:You're like, who the fuck is this guy?
Guest:Was he having a gay affair?
Marc:That's hilarious.
Marc:Now, how do they all respond to, how does your mom respond to your act?
Marc:I know it's probably a hacky question, but you've got to figure with all the Hitlers and rapies and everything.
Guest:Shit.
Guest:she um every once in a while she'll say i sarah i just don't like it i have a very visual mind or she she actually doesn't really like anything about her which is hard because you know there's so much i'd love to say about my mom and it's funny and i think maybe she's seen um oh i you want to take it no no um
Guest:Now that she's seen that my dad is like a celebrity now from my book and my act and my TV appearance is like, I'm hoping that she'll soften to the thought of me talking about her because, you know, they're characters.
Guest:Do you talk about them?
Marc:Are you really honest about them in your act?
Guest:yeah i like to be but i don't want to you know i mean i don't want to upset or anything but even though the stuff i want to say about her is is stuff that people would find adorable you know and great she doesn't like the feeling like maybe she's being made fun of or something you know and i don't want her to feel bad i want her to love it you know my dad eats it up even if you're talking badly he doesn't care yeah he's not
Guest:I don't think he could repeat a single joke of mine to anyone because when he comes to see me, he's not watching me.
Guest:He's looking and he's marveling at the fact that strangers are laughing at his daughter.
Guest:He'll never get over that.
Guest:The first time he came to see me at Boston Comedy Club, by the time I got on, it was like 1230 in the morning.
Guest:And he was sound asleep and blocking the aisle because he was like hunched over to his side.
Guest:And remember Jocelyn?
Guest:And she is like, you have to wake up your father.
Guest:He's blocking the aisle.
Guest:Meanwhile, I'm like, I'm on stage and looking at my dad who's never seen me do stand up and he is sound asleep.
Marc:Oh, that's so sweet.
Marc:But now he just likes the attention.
Marc:He likes the attention you get.
Guest:Yeah, he loves it all.
Guest:He's so easy.
Guest:He'll come visit and we'll just kind of trade off hanging out with him and just taking him on errands with us.
Guest:And he'll be like, what a great day.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:I'm such a lucky daddy.
Marc:That's so nice.
Marc:My dad, he likes that I do what I do.
Marc:But I think he now wants to sell my CDs in his pain management clinic.
Marc:I don't think that's it.
Guest:Oh, he has a pain management clinic?
Marc:Yeah, he's like a strip mall pain management clinic.
Marc:Like a holistic, like... Well, I don't know what they... He's trying to get into preventative medicine.
Marc:He's into vitamins now, and he's into physical therapy, and he's really sort of like a proponent of preventative medicine, and he's been working in this pain clinic operation.
Marc:And now he's like, I just think we should have your book and your three CDs next to the vitamins in the pain management clinic.
Marc:That's the next big step for me.
Marc:Why not?
Marc:It makes sense, I guess.
Marc:Now that I say it out loud...
Marc:comedy records at a pain management clinic it makes pretty good sense he's always trying to get me to be like why don't you because laughing's the best medicine that's what i hear so you've never offended any members of your family that's nice um no i mean there there was it's so funny now because it's such a like a nothing joke comparative they used to have a joke about a million years ago yeah
Guest:but going to the dent or no blowing a dentist yeah and uh it's so hard because they're always asking questions when their penises and you're like so are you going to school you know yeah and she was like i have a very visual mind please i don't do that and i i don't know why but i dropped it because she didn't like it and would you ever do something on stage that's more like the book
Guest:in the sense of something that was really sort of uh specifically autobiographical or i've you know on the book tour i did some readings but i i tended to do um stuff that got laughs so like a lot of the chapters aren't like that but so instead i did the thing i didn't write at all but i just transcribed a bunch of my dad's voicemail messages so i read them like with his accent and that got it gets a lot of laughs because it's it's they're nuts
Marc:it's it's amazing like sometimes i read my mom's emails on stage and they're just great it's just is that fair i guess it's fair game we didn't write it but they created us so we're entitled yeah and it's funny yeah but i mean it's hard to perform live and do something that you can't measure with laughs you know i know yeah because it's hard to justify it to yourself other than failure right remember when we had a band did we
Guest:We didn't have a name, but it was like me, you, Todd, and Louie.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:For like a day?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:It was for one day, and we were like, yeah, we have a band.
Marc:How's Todd?
Marc:Have you talked to Todd?
Guest:Yeah, he's great.
Guest:He just did a movie where all his scenes were with Sigourney Weaver.
Marc:Oh, really?
Guest:Yeah, and he's like a vampire.
Guest:He's got like full prosthetic face and everything.
Guest:Really?
Guest:But he completely looks like he sent me a picture of it.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Marc:I'm going to have to interview him in New York.
Guest:Yeah, he's doing great.
Guest:He got a new place.
Guest:I mean, we used to live in the same building, and he lived in that building for like 19 years.
Marc:He's not on Second Avenue anymore?
Marc:No.
Guest:No, I moved around the corner.
Marc:All right, so I guess we're about good, Sarah.
Guest:All right.
Marc:Do you feel good about it?
Guest:I do.
Guest:I want to show you this Todd Berry.
Guest:Oh, look at this.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Guest:I know.
Guest:It's like a face over his face.
Guest:It's all makeup and prosthetics, but it looks totally like Todd at the same time.
Marc:It's like Todd's lower face.
Marc:Oh, my God.
Guest:So cute.
Marc:That's his real eyes and everything.
Marc:What's the movie in Sigourney Weaver's?
Guest:I can't remember.
Guest:All I know is the scenes are with Sigourney Weaver.
Marc:Well, we are all looking forward to everything you do from here on out.
Guest:Thank you.
Marc:And everything will happen in a good way.
Guest:Thank you, too.
Guest:Every time I see you, you look better and healthier and younger and happier.
Guest:Oh, that's going to be Tall John.
Guest:Let's record your reaction to his 6'10-ness.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:It's going to be anticlimactic because you're probably like... I don't know what 6'10 looks like.
Guest:Six foot ten looks like this.
Marc:Oh, I know John.
Marc:How's it going, man?
Marc:It's good to see you.
Marc:We're just finishing up.
Marc:How are you?
Marc:I'm great, thank you.
Marc:It's on, yeah.
Marc:It's tall John.
Marc:I've met John many times.
Marc:i told you but i i guess i didn't really think about six foot ten like i you know i was anticipating like um like someone who had to like the ceiling would have you know you would have to be like this in the ceiling look look well these are seven foot doorways right like i like i literally pictured like the guy from the guinness book world records book i told him that you said like you know what it's like to be famous because you're like when i walk into a room everybody looks at me
Marc:But you're proportionately, you're proportionately, you're well proportioned.
Marc:Yes.
Guest:Yeah, he's well proportioned.
Marc:And a very attractive man, not freakish in any way.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:Successful, attractive, strong.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And good.
Guest:He's a good man.
Marc:Are we soliciting?
Marc:Do you need a woman?
Guest:If you are a woman with any kind of tattoos, with maybe a black dyed hair with a red lip, or a blonde thing, any kind of suicide-looking girl, who is a woman of substance, who's not defined by her tattoos, but hell, she's got a sleeve.
Marc:So that's what you're looking for.
Marc:That sounds good.
Guest:You know, I was thinking of you because Alec and I saw they have Suicide Girls the show on Showtime with like nudity and everything.
Guest:And I was like, oh boy, Tal John might like this show.
Marc:You're attracted to the Suicide Girl look?
Marc:I do like that, yeah.
Marc:Do you like real Suicide Girl looks?
Marc:Like with girls with cutting scars or any of that?
Guest:No, just the... I mean, don't rule it out.
Guest:I'm not a deal breaker.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Thanks, you guys.
Marc:Thank you, Sarah.
Guest:Thank you, Mark.
Thank you.
Marc:All right, that's it.
Marc:I hope you enjoyed that.
Marc:This is Mark Maron.
Marc:This has been WTF.
Marc:I'm so glad you enjoy the show.
Marc:Please go to WTFPod.com.
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Marc:And go to punchlinemagazine.com and check out breaking comedy news if there is such a thing.
Marc:And what else do I have to say?
Marc:Ah, yes, justcoffee.coop.
Marc:Those are my plugs for today.
Marc:Again, I'm leaving Texas tomorrow, so I should be okay.
Marc:Take care, good night, and good luck.
Marc:I think someone's done that before.
Marc:Right?
Marc:Someone's done that before.
you