Episode 1153 - Chelsea Peretti

Episode 1153 • Released August 31, 2020 • Speakers detected

00:00:00Marc:Lock the gates!

00:00:09Marc:Alright, let's do this.

00:00:11Marc:How are you, what the fuckers?

00:00:12Marc:What the fuck buddies?

00:00:13Marc:What the fucksters?

00:00:15Marc:What's happening?

00:00:15Marc:I'm Mark Maron.

00:00:16Marc:This is my podcast, WTF.

00:00:18Marc:Welcome to it.

00:00:19Marc:How you doing?

00:00:20Marc:How you feeling?

00:00:21Marc:Everything alright?

00:00:21Marc:What are you cooking?

00:00:22Marc:What are you cutting?

00:00:23Marc:What are you chopping?

00:00:23Marc:What's happening?

00:00:24Marc:What are you cleaning?

00:00:25Marc:Where are you running to?

00:00:27Marc:What are you... Where are you running?

00:00:30Marc:You can't run away.

00:00:31Marc:You can't run away.

00:00:33Marc:I see it.

00:00:33Marc:I know that I'm helping you get through this, but eventually, I hate to break it to you, you're going to have to turn around and go home.

00:00:41Marc:You're going to have to loop around and go home.

00:00:44Marc:I know.

00:00:45Marc:I know, man.

00:00:46Marc:I know it's the same shit every day.

00:00:48Marc:I know.

00:00:49Marc:And it's tempting to keep running, to keep driving, to keep flying if you're doing that.

00:00:54Marc:Whatever you're doing, just as long as it's in movement and not...

00:01:00Marc:You're dangling from the end of a rope, unless you're doing the rock climbing thing.

00:01:04Marc:But you know what I'm saying.

00:01:06Marc:I'm sorry, but you're going to have to go home.

00:01:08Marc:You're just going to have to.

00:01:10Marc:Speaking of that, I just did.

00:01:14Marc:Pow!

00:01:16Marc:I just shit my pants.

00:01:17Marc:JustCoffee.coop.

00:01:18Marc:Get the WTF blend.

00:01:20Marc:I get a little on the back end.

00:01:22Marc:That's an old timey plug.

00:01:24Marc:That's just from the old days.

00:01:26Marc:From like back when Chelsea Peretti was first on this show.

00:01:30Marc:We rarely do repeat guests, but Chelsea Peretti is here.

00:01:34Marc:She's on the show today.

00:01:36Marc:The first time she was on was episode 39.

00:01:38Marc:That's more than 10 years ago.

00:01:40Marc:That's when I had to do those Just Coffee ads just to get by, just to make a few shekels, just to make $400 a month, a month on ad sales.

00:01:51Marc:Man, I mean, we had her back because I love Chelsea and she's very smart and very funny.

00:01:56Marc:And I just I like talking to her.

00:01:59Marc:But she's also got since then, since then, it's crazy.

00:02:04Marc:Go listen to that first one.

00:02:06Marc:And just the arc of it.

00:02:07Marc:I mean, she's she's been a writer on Parks and Rec.

00:02:10Marc:She played Gina on Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

00:02:12Marc:She got married to Jordan Peele.

00:02:13Marc:They had a kid.

00:02:15Marc:I mean, fuck, man.

00:02:16Marc:A lot has changed.

00:02:17Marc:I guess that's what happens in 10 years if things happen in your life.

00:02:25Marc:A lot happened in my life, but I'm here alone, childless.

00:02:29Marc:But it was great to talk to Chelsea.

00:02:31Marc:It really was.

00:02:32Marc:And you can hear that shortly.

00:02:33Marc:I am back from New Mexico.

00:02:37Marc:I think the last show I did was from New Mexico.

00:02:40Marc:And it was great.

00:02:43Marc:It was really worth the trip.

00:02:46Marc:I'd kind of like to still be there.

00:02:48Marc:I didn't have to come back, but I came back because I live here and I wanted to see my cat.

00:02:53Marc:I wanted to talk to you.

00:02:54Marc:I wanted to to try to get back to whatever semblance of a life I have.

00:02:59Marc:here in California.

00:03:02Marc:But since I've talked to you, well, let's start with this.

00:03:06Marc:When I drove to New Mexico, I stopped and met my friend Dave at Duran's Pharmacy for some huevos rancheros with green chili and red chili on the side.

00:03:14Marc:And on my way out of New Mexico, I stopped and had that exact same thing again before I left, only alone.

00:03:21Marc:And I was reflecting and was sitting outside eating the green chili, having the tortilla with the butter on it.

00:03:27Marc:And just sort of like enjoying the way you can enjoy in the age of plague.

00:03:33Marc:Outdoors.

00:03:34Marc:Mask down because I'm putting shit in my mouth.

00:03:36Marc:I'm just sitting there maybe Instagramming a photo of my food.

00:03:40Marc:And I hear someone kind of coughing a little bit behind me.

00:03:43Marc:And then I turn around and there's a woman vomiting into a planter.

00:03:46Marc:And that was my acute exit.

00:03:48Marc:Woman vomiting into planter.

00:03:50Marc:Time to hit the road.

00:03:52Marc:New Mexico.

00:03:53Marc:Adios.

00:03:54Marc:Adios.

00:03:55Marc:Muchas gracias.

00:03:57Marc:Got to go.

00:03:58Marc:Barfo in the planter.

00:04:00Marc:Yeah, that was an interesting way, an interesting beat to leave on.

00:04:05Marc:But it was a good trip.

00:04:08Marc:What I didn't tell you, that I found to be uplifting in a strange way, was I visited the grave of Dennis Hopper.

00:04:18Marc:Dennis Hopper is buried in Ranchos de Taos,

00:04:23Marc:in the Jesus Nazareno Cemetery, which is off the beaten path.

00:04:31Marc:Rancho de Taos is off the beaten path, but this cemetery is not even in the back of a church or near a church.

00:04:37Marc:It's just sort of off on this dirt road.

00:04:40Marc:It looks like a dirt parking lot.

00:04:41Marc:There's a large swath of dirt road through the middle of it.

00:04:44Marc:On either side, there are graves.

00:04:46Marc:And this is a I don't know if it's the Pueblo Indians or the indigenous people or I don't know if they're it's it's definitely a Mexican cemetery ish.

00:04:56Marc:I'm not sure what the history of the cemetery is, but it's one of those cemeteries where every grave looks handcrafted.

00:05:03Marc:The crosses, there's not many stones or wooden crosses usually that look handmade.

00:05:10Marc:There are pictures and artifacts left on the graves.

00:05:12Marc:There are stones and mounds and things that people bring to it.

00:05:16Marc:Each one looks like some sort of almost like a collage of sorts.

00:05:20Marc:It's a very earthy, intimate uniqueness to each grave.

00:05:25Marc:A very deep human touch.

00:05:27Marc:It's almost as if you walk past these graves and you can almost feel the bones.

00:05:33Marc:And I think that's sort of a Mexican thing, really, like the Day of the Dead trip, the sort of respect for the dead and the celebration of the dead.

00:05:40Marc:There's definitely that vibe there.

00:05:42Marc:And you go and you kind of find, you can look around.

00:05:45Marc:I found it online how to find it, but...

00:05:48Marc:Hopper is an important person to me.

00:05:52Marc:I was always deeply obsessed and enamored and impressed with Dennis Hopper's work and with him as a person.

00:05:59Marc:I found him to be a sort of fascinating, decent-hearted wild man, one of the great drug warriors, one of the great crazy dudes, one of the originals.

00:06:13Marc:But but he had an interesting life and he loved Taos.

00:06:17Marc:My buddy Steve is married to his daughter, so I double check with him to make sure it was the grave.

00:06:20Marc:But I went there.

00:06:21Marc:I talked to Dennis and there was something about it.

00:06:24Marc:Just picturing him in the ground there in this beautiful site.

00:06:27Marc:There's lava rocks in a circle around where the body would lay, I believe.

00:06:32Marc:And there's all kinds of offerings that people have left there.

00:06:34Marc:And I just I knew he was in there.

00:06:37Marc:There's no distraction, no stone, no real kind of maudlin kind of weight to it.

00:06:43Marc:It was almost a little mound of celebration to the body decomposing beneath it.

00:06:48Marc:And I pictured it and I felt it.

00:06:50Marc:I felt the spirit of Hopper and it was uplifting to me.

00:06:55Marc:So uplifting.

00:06:56Marc:I went twice.

00:06:56Marc:I went the next day.

00:06:57Marc:My buddy Devin, he had come up to Taos from Santa Fe to hike with me.

00:07:00Marc:I hiked all three days up into the beautiful Taos wilderness.

00:07:04Marc:I was afraid at first, but then I just thought about Lynn.

00:07:07Marc:I thought about, what am I afraid of?

00:07:08Marc:Being eaten by an animal, falling into a crevice, and having to cut my arm off with my hat.

00:07:14Marc:You know, I just...

00:07:16Marc:I was nervous, but I did it all.

00:07:18Marc:I went back to the grave, and on my last hike, I found some river rocks so I could put them on.

00:07:23Marc:I felt bad that I didn't have anything.

00:07:24Marc:I didn't have anything with me.

00:07:25Marc:I didn't have anything cool.

00:07:27Marc:I didn't have a guitar pick with me.

00:07:28Marc:I could leave for Dennis, man.

00:07:30Marc:I didn't have no cigarettes.

00:07:31Marc:I could leave for Dennis, man.

00:07:32Marc:I didn't have no bandana.

00:07:34Marc:I could leave for Dennis, man.

00:07:35Marc:I didn't have no Harley Davidson paraphernalia.

00:07:38Marc:I could leave on Dennis's grave, man.

00:07:41Marc:I didn't have an eight ball or a half gram or a small vial of blow or crank or anything I could leave on Dennis's grave, man.

00:07:49Marc:So I went and got some rocks.

00:07:52Marc:I left him there.

00:07:53Marc:I talked to him again.

00:07:54Marc:I was happy to see him twice.

00:07:56Marc:It was great.

00:07:58Marc:I was so happy.

00:07:59Marc:And I love the sort of kind of a weird little cool celebratory cemetery.

00:08:06Marc:A lot of fucking heartfelt handcrafted respect on those mounds.

00:08:13Marc:Makes it real human.

00:08:15Marc:Close.

00:08:16Marc:Could feel the bones, man.

00:08:18Marc:I dug it.

00:08:20Marc:Some weird dreams are happening.

00:08:22Marc:I guess I could tell you about them.

00:08:24Marc:I had a drinking dream, which means I better start going to Zoom meetings.

00:08:28Marc:I don't think there's a threat of me drinking, but I don't know what my brain is doing.

00:08:31Marc:There must be some discomfort.

00:08:34Marc:Because somebody poured me a very large scotch on the rocks and I wasn't a scotch guy.

00:08:39Marc:I think I was just starting to get into scotch when I quit.

00:08:41Marc:I mean, I get it.

00:08:43Marc:I like scotch, but that wasn't my thing.

00:08:46Marc:But in the dream, man, I had my both hands wrapped around a big glass of scotch on the rocks.

00:08:53Marc:Then there was another dream where I was on some sort of large, high, rickety old diving platform, a single structure, just shooting straight up.

00:09:03Marc:And I just seen two people I know die, fall off it and die.

00:09:08Marc:They disappeared into the water.

00:09:10Marc:And I don't even know how I got up on top of it.

00:09:13Marc:But it was all rickety.

00:09:13Marc:And I knew that they had fallen and died.

00:09:16Marc:And I was like, how do I get down?

00:09:18Marc:And I remember in the dream thinking like, can someone just come get me?

00:09:22Marc:Can somebody help me?

00:09:24Marc:Can somebody help me?

00:09:24Marc:And I was starting to panic because it was kind of wobbly.

00:09:27Marc:And I'm like, I'm going to fall and I'm going to die.

00:09:29Marc:And I look on the left side of the platform.

00:09:31Marc:There's like this red ladder, but it doesn't look like it goes all the way down or up.

00:09:36Marc:And there's some force or person or something behind me that's just sort of like, you just got to do it.

00:09:41Marc:You just got to fucking do it.

00:09:43Marc:You got to stop freaking out.

00:09:45Marc:And you got to just go a step at a time and get down.

00:09:48Marc:And then I realized that's right.

00:09:51Marc:No one's going to come help me.

00:09:52Marc:No one's going to come get me.

00:09:53Marc:I'm not going to be airlifted off.

00:09:55Marc:And I'm going to fall if I keep freaking out.

00:09:58Marc:Or I'm going to fall on purpose if I keep freaking out.

00:10:00Marc:So I just turned all that shit off and made my way down the ladder.

00:10:06Marc:I don't know what that was about.

00:10:09Marc:How will fascism affect you guys?

00:10:11Marc:You putting any thought into that?

00:10:12Marc:Like, you know.

00:10:14Marc:If Trump wins, are you guys the do you ever think about like, well, you know, I don't know how much authoritarianism will affect my immediate life.

00:10:23Marc:Most we're finding most people are selfish, aren't we?

00:10:25Marc:Hey, man, if it doesn't fuck with me, I'm good.

00:10:29Marc:It's like the mask thing.

00:10:31Marc:I went on a hike yesterday and it was crazy.

00:10:33Marc:80% of the people with fucking no mask.

00:10:35Marc:And, you know, the chances of getting it outside are slim.

00:10:38Marc:But, you know, you have one.

00:10:39Marc:And then when you walk by people, you put it on.

00:10:41Marc:It was great being in New Mexico.

00:10:43Marc:It's fucking mandated there.

00:10:45Marc:Everybody, you don't have to fucking go through that thought process.

00:10:48Marc:If you see somebody without one, they're a real fucking jerk because they're breaking the law and they don't give a fuck.

00:10:53Marc:Here, I literally think people are like, no, we don't have to.

00:10:55Marc:I mean, you know, I don't want to.

00:10:57Marc:I think it's OK.

00:10:58Marc:But what a nice thing to be in a fucking state that mandates the fucking masks because people are too fucking stupid to give a shit about other people or take care of themselves to get through this thing.

00:11:11Marc:Let's end with a nice story.

00:11:15Marc:A few weeks ago, I told you when I was hiking with Al Madrigal, there was a guy walking down.

00:11:21Marc:He had a bunny in his hands, this little sad, sick, wet bunny.

00:11:26Marc:And he was concerned about it.

00:11:28Marc:He was going to take it home and nurse it back to health.

00:11:29Marc:We saw that guy again and asked him about the bunny.

00:11:32Marc:He said it got better and he brought it back up.

00:11:35Marc:How often does that end well?

00:11:37Marc:The injured animal you bring home.

00:11:40Marc:The bird with the broken wing.

00:11:42Marc:The bunny with the fever.

00:11:43Marc:But he nursed it, brought it back, and it hopped away.

00:11:47Marc:There's a happy story.

00:11:50Marc:Huh?

00:11:51Marc:All right.

00:11:53Marc:Look, Chelsea Peretti is in a new movie.

00:11:57Marc:It's called Spinster.

00:11:59Marc:It's her first lead role in a film.

00:12:01Marc:You can watch it on most VOD and digital platforms.

00:12:05Marc:I love talking to Chelsea Peretti, and you can hear me do that.

00:12:08Marc:Coming up.

00:12:26Marc:So what are you going to do?

00:12:27Marc:Are you going to just hold the phone?

00:12:29Guest:Listen, I've done it before.

00:12:30Guest:I'm not too proud.

00:12:32Marc:You don't have a thing you can set it on?

00:12:34Marc:I'm going to start to worry about.

00:12:35Marc:All right.

00:12:38Guest:You know what I need is like a Velcro thing on the wall, and then it just went on the back of my phone, and I can stick it to any wall, any wall in any room.

00:12:46Marc:Yes.

00:12:47Marc:I have a tripod that I stick it on.

00:12:50Guest:that sounds archaic this is velcro cutting edge do you have velcro are you getting it no oh no but i do think that actually would be cool every room you put a swatch of velcro on the wall and you have the receptor piece on your phone you walk into a room boom your phone's on the wall you facetime people cook right i think it's a good idea lo-fi yeah so what what how many coffees have you had

00:13:16Guest:I'm on number two, but this is a black mug of coffee.

00:13:22Marc:Yeah.

00:13:22Marc:Well, as opposed to what?

00:13:24Guest:Creamy.

00:13:24Guest:Sometimes I'll have like an oat latte.

00:13:27Marc:No regular milk though, right?

00:13:29Guest:No, I don't do regular milk that much anymore.

00:13:33Marc:Only if I have it for another reason.

00:13:34Marc:So you were concerned that I was not drinking coffee?

00:13:38Guest:I had a moment of panic that I'm going to just call and like want to talk to you about coffee.

00:13:43Guest:And you'd be like, I'm off coffee.

00:13:45Marc:I was I was drinking tea for like over a year.

00:13:48Marc:And then I started to slip coffee in in the afternoons and now I'm back in.

00:13:54Marc:But yeah.

00:13:55Marc:I don't know if it has the same effect as it once did when I was younger or something.

00:13:59Marc:I'll drink a cup of coffee.

00:14:01Marc:I feel pretty good.

00:14:02Marc:I'll drink another cup.

00:14:03Marc:I feel all right.

00:14:03Marc:But then I'm just kind of queasy and kind of sweaty.

00:14:09Marc:I don't know.

00:14:09Marc:I don't get the fucking high I used to.

00:14:13Guest:Man, I really hate when people who once loved coffee turn their back on it in this way.

00:14:18Guest:Like I had this weird, I think that's like I'm slightly clairvoyant when it comes to coffee.

00:14:23Guest:And I just had this feeling you were going to have a different altered attitude about it.

00:14:28Marc:I love it.

00:14:29Marc:I like anything that makes me feel good.

00:14:30Marc:I pulled my fucking espresso machine out.

00:14:35Guest:You do say espresso.

00:14:37Marc:I know, I know.

00:14:38Guest:That's the real headline.

00:14:44Marc:I've had an issue with that my whole life.

00:14:47Marc:My espresso machine.

00:14:49Marc:Do you make espresso at home?

00:14:53Guest:Well, you know, my husband was once a barista apparently, and we got this whole big espresso machine.

00:14:58Guest:Oh my God, I said it too.

00:15:01Guest:You know what, this is going to be one of those things where like, you know how grammar evolves and then they update it to make it official grammar or official, like they're going to have to just say it's espresso.

00:15:11Marc:And they're going to cite the shift on this conversation.

00:15:15Yeah.

00:15:17Marc:so whatever he never uses it what a good one like what kind like a really yeah like this really fancy one is the kind of that looks like does it have a big kind of pressing that looks like oh but is it like it does yeah and it like kind of hooks on the counter that kind of yeah and it has like this big eagle on top of it right right those are fancy

00:15:37Guest:Yeah, it's kind of intimidating.

00:15:39Marc:But you don't use it?

00:15:40Guest:So, yeah.

00:15:41Guest:I mean, I don't know.

00:15:41Guest:He hasn't really been making it.

00:15:44Guest:I don't know how to use them, but I guess I should learn.

00:15:46Marc:Maybe you should pressure him.

00:15:48Marc:I mean, you have the time now.

00:15:49Marc:I mean, what's he?

00:15:51Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:15:51Marc:How old is that kid?

00:15:54Guest:That's the thing.

00:15:55Guest:He's three.

00:15:55Marc:Oh.

00:15:56Guest:And it's just really a particular nightmare to have a toddler when you're sheltering in place because...

00:16:02Guest:He's a dismantler like this.

00:16:05Guest:You know, I was looking for my headphones to do this.

00:16:07Guest:And I'm like, OK, I found the headphones after a long hunt.

00:16:10Guest:Yeah.

00:16:10Guest:He was probably like pretending they were a jellyfish or something.

00:16:14Guest:And then I'm like, oh, the cord is gone.

00:16:15Guest:And that could just be anywhere, anywhere.

00:16:19Guest:And so, you know, when you're trying to keep your house clean and this is just like we're just like lighting fires everywhere and you're just following after them panicking.

00:16:28Marc:And is it's a boy?

00:16:31Guest:Yeah, it is.

00:16:32Marc:Does he talk?

00:16:34Guest:Very much so.

00:16:35Guest:He's extremely verbal.

00:16:38Guest:Not to toot my own horn, but he's the child of two extremely artistic people.

00:16:44Guest:And no, honestly, I think he would be a great child actor, but I would never let him do it.

00:16:49Marc:Has he expressed interest in anything other than destroying things?

00:16:54Guest:No, he hasn't expressed interest in acting, but he just memorizes everything.

00:16:58Guest:Like where I'm like, oh, with your brain, I can conquer Hollywood.

00:17:04Marc:So you've got a genius until they're like five and then they level off.

00:17:09Guest:Yes, listen, we'll see.

00:17:11Guest:We should do an interview again when he's five.

00:17:13Marc:We did an interview in 2010.

00:17:15Marc:I know.

00:17:16Guest:I really felt like I wasn't ready for prime time at that.

00:17:19Guest:You know, like that interview was kind of before I feel like I had anything going on.

00:17:24Marc:Are you kidding?

00:17:25Marc:We did our big pilot.

00:17:30Guest:Oh, that's right.

00:17:32Guest:I had just ascended.

00:17:36Marc:We'd done our ill-defined show that we weren't queer.

00:17:40Guest:Oh, my gosh.

00:17:41Guest:I completely fully fucking forgot about that.

00:17:45Guest:And dumpster diving was a segment on it.

00:17:47Marc:That's right, with the freegans.

00:17:48Guest:The freegans.

00:17:49Marc:And then we brought in paintings.

00:17:52Marc:You brought in a painting that Leo Allen did of you, and you felt bad about it.

00:17:57Guest:I don't know where that thing is.

00:18:01Marc:It probably got left at the fucking studio.

00:18:03Marc:They gave us like twelve dollars to do this this pilot.

00:18:06Marc:And we didn't even really have a concept for the show.

00:18:09Marc:It was just called WTF.

00:18:10Marc:And we had like two segments.

00:18:11Marc:You and I did some co-host thing.

00:18:14Guest:And then we had a panel to be like, you know, doing those jazzy like.

00:18:18Guest:hosting monologues and stuff that's always that's like in hindsight we had no business doing that we could have been much more like sitting in a corduroy chair overstuffed chair you know and then we had a panel though I remember there was a panel and I think like Kyle Kinane was there and I don't remember who else but like and I don't even remember what the topics were it was just like this show or I don't fucking know I feel like though I actually feel like that shoot went well I don't have like a sweaty feeling when I think about it

00:18:48Marc:No, I think the shoot went well.

00:18:49Marc:It was over at that Comedy Central Theater space.

00:18:52Marc:It was a good set.

00:18:52Marc:We had good people working on it.

00:18:54Guest:It's just so crazy, like, the older you get, how many little compartments of history you completely forget, and then you're like, oh, yeah.

00:19:01Marc:It's crazy.

00:19:02Guest:It's crazy.

00:19:04Marc:I mean, I can't, like, there's whole chunks of my life

00:19:07Guest:I'll tell you what I do remember.

00:19:10Guest:You said, do you want to play my wife on my TV show?

00:19:12Guest:And I go, sure.

00:19:14Guest:Then I never heard from you again.

00:19:15Guest:Do you remember that, Maren?

00:19:18Guest:That compartment?

00:19:20Marc:Did I really?

00:19:21Marc:Were you willing to do that?

00:19:22Marc:Maybe I felt like you were already on your way.

00:19:25Guest:Whatever.

00:19:26Guest:On my way out of your show.

00:19:28Yeah.

00:19:28Marc:Well, you seem to have found your way into legitimate show business.

00:19:33Marc:I was still fucking around on Comedy Central pilots and IFC.

00:19:37Guest:Whatever.

00:19:37Guest:Don't compliment my rejection.

00:19:42Guest:i don't remember what happened with that i don't remember you like you see this rejection was actually a major compliment it was yeah because i oh well thank you i assumed that you had bigger things i don't remember man i don't remember what happened do you know one time um bobby tisdale gave me his old phone for some reason yeah and like in it there was like text between him and eugene merman because they used to run this show called invite them up and

00:20:08Guest:they were debating if they should have me on a show or not.

00:20:12Guest:And like Eugene was like, she's kind of harsh.

00:20:14Guest:And then they like, didn't put me on the show.

00:20:16Guest:And I was like, Oh my God.

00:20:20Guest:I don't know why that just came to mind.

00:20:22Guest:I don't even know if that related to anything, but you're kind of harsh.

00:20:25Marc:That's hilarious.

00:20:26Guest:What a mess.

00:20:27Marc:Yeah.

00:20:28Marc:What happened to Bobby Tisdale?

00:20:29Guest:You know, he has, he has a talk show on Instagram live called the wards of Merkin, I believe.

00:20:37Uh-huh.

00:20:37Guest:So pretty much what you would think happened to Bobby Tisdale.

00:20:41Guest:He has like 80 kids, all daughters.

00:20:47Marc:I don't know how people are dealing.

00:20:49Marc:You're here, right?

00:20:50Marc:You guys are in L.A.

00:20:51Guest:I'm here.

00:20:52Guest:Barely.

00:20:55Guest:Every day I wake up and I'm like, oh, fuck.

00:20:58Guest:Here we go again.

00:20:59Guest:It really it's like Groundhog Day.

00:21:01Marc:It's like there's no way out.

00:21:03Marc:It's crazy.

00:21:03Guest:There's no end in sight.

00:21:05Marc:It's crazy.

00:21:07Guest:It's so crazy.

00:21:08Marc:How are you guys dealing with it?

00:21:09Marc:How's Jordan dealing with it?

00:21:13Marc:I mean... Is he in the house?

00:21:15Marc:Yes, he is.

00:21:17Guest:Yeah.

00:21:17Guest:I mean... I don't know how anyone's dealing with it.

00:21:23Guest:The main challenge, I think, for us is like... I mean...

00:21:26Guest:I have major envy of people who are unattached and have no child because they're just like, I watched five criterion collection films today.

00:21:36Guest:I did two yoga classes.

00:21:38Guest:I'm like fucking eat shit and die.

00:21:41Guest:My son's attention span is literally six minutes.

00:21:45Guest:So you have to break every single endless fucking day into six minute increments.

00:21:50Guest:How can I entertain someone with the attention span of a goldfish?

00:21:54Guest:Yeah.

00:21:54Guest:You bring out all these paints and stuff.

00:21:56Guest:He does one brush stroke and it's over.

00:21:58Guest:And then you're like, okay, only eight more hours till bedtime.

00:22:03Guest:It's a fucking nightmare.

00:22:08Guest:I hope that makes you happy you don't have a child.

00:22:11Marc:Well, I was telling Brendan that lately when I've gotten a little bit grim or depressed or hopeless, I just think of you people.

00:22:19Guest:Yeah, exactly, you fuck.

00:22:22Yeah.

00:22:22Marc:And then I sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee alone.

00:22:25Guest:A peaceful cup, a peaceful cup.

00:22:27Guest:I mean, I can't even, I'm like begging my son to have a cup of coffee.

00:22:31Guest:I go, can mommy have coffee?

00:22:33Guest:Before I read you 20 books, can mommy have coffee?

00:22:36Guest:It's like, I can't do voice acting without my coffee.

00:22:41Guest:it's fucking it is hard and that the thing that's even more fucked up is I have no right to complain because I know that I'm one of the luckiest people in this fucking country like right so you don't even feel you get to have ownership over your angst and your grief and you know yeah

00:22:58Guest:It's just a horrible time.

00:23:00Guest:And there seems to be so many suicides right now.

00:23:03Marc:Are there?

00:23:04Marc:I was wondering about that.

00:23:05Marc:Do you know people?

00:23:06Guest:I feel like it.

00:23:08Guest:I keep feeling like you just keep seeing it.

00:23:11Guest:I don't know if there's a statistical increase, but it seems like there is.

00:23:15Guest:There has to be.

00:23:15Guest:And it would make sense.

00:23:17Marc:Sure.

00:23:17Guest:Because, yeah, you feel alone.

00:23:19Guest:And then it's like in this time, you really are alone.

00:23:21Marc:Yeah, no, I, you know, it's part of my morning ritual, thinking about it.

00:23:26Guest:No, no, wait, I'm glad we brought it up there.

00:23:29Guest:Don't do it.

00:23:31Guest:No, I don't do it.

00:23:31Marc:I don't think about it seriously.

00:23:33Marc:But there is a moment with hopelessness, and I've done bits about it, where you're just sort of like... As long as you've done bits about it.

00:23:40Marc:I have done bits about it.

00:23:42Marc:But but there's a moment where you're like, how does this end?

00:23:45Marc:And I'm getting older.

00:23:46Marc:And there's like, is this really the way we're going to live for the rest of time?

00:23:50Marc:I can't even leave the country because we're pig people and no one's going to let us in.

00:23:55Marc:Like, I mean, the one fantasy I had was like, I got my passport.

00:23:58Marc:Now it's like, who cares?

00:24:00Marc:No one wants us.

00:24:01Marc:We're garbage people.

00:24:02Guest:There's no escape.

00:24:04Guest:It's so crazy.

00:24:05Guest:It's so funny that Make America Great Again was the whole slogan.

00:24:09Guest:And now look at this.

00:24:10Guest:And we literally, we're like, we couldn't be further of a rock bottom.

00:24:14Marc:Yeah, it's like we're this giant pariah.

00:24:17Marc:The entire rest of the planet is like, they're like, what's wrong with you people?

00:24:21Marc:What is happening there?

00:24:22Guest:It's kind of refreshing because America has been so egotistical, you know?

00:24:26Marc:Sure.

00:24:27Guest:It's kind of refreshing to be like, oh, this is how it feels when the entire world changes

00:24:31Marc:thinks your shit on their shoe yeah but there's so many people in this country that are like fuck them this is you know we are still great and like i don't even understand what they're doing i can't yeah and then like do you how do you have people that you know that are all of a sudden revealing themselves to be fucking idiots i mean that's i mean everyone that's the worst surprise about this all is that i would think if i was asked how do you think socially things would

00:24:58Guest:feel in a pandemic i would think people come together right they support each other but instead i'm just scrolling through instagram like you guys don't have fucking masks on everyone's hanging out without masks on fuck you my kid hasn't seen another kid in four months and you're at a fucking party like i don't get it you know

00:25:17Marc:People, you know, right?

00:25:18Marc:Yeah.

00:25:19Marc:Yeah.

00:25:20Marc:I mean, I don't it's I've talked to people and it's just their their mindset around it.

00:25:25Marc:You just realize how truly stupid and how little people think, you know.

00:25:29Guest:And but the thing in Hollywood is everyone's got some weird quack doctor advising them.

00:25:34Guest:They're like, no, no, I've got a guy.

00:25:36Guest:He says I can be mask free and it's fine.

00:25:39Guest:UV rays, you know, and I'm like, okay.

00:25:41Guest:But like everyone I know who's like kind of doesn't seem to care when I go, well, what, why aren't, what is your philosophy?

00:25:48Guest:Like, they're always just like, well, I don't want to freak out.

00:25:51Guest:You know, I don't want to, it's like, wait, that's, that's your medical.

00:25:55Guest:I don't know.

00:25:56Guest:No one has a good answer who doesn't wear a mask.

00:25:58Marc:Were they not wearing masks?

00:26:00Marc:Like I'll, I'll like, I'll go, like I'll sit outside and not wear a mask.

00:26:05Guest:Yeah, sure.

00:26:06Guest:If you're alone or you're saying you'll sit outside with other people.

00:26:09Marc:Not with other people, with one person six, seven feet away sometimes.

00:26:13Guest:Yeah.

00:26:14Guest:I mean, the whole thing is supposed to be six feet apart in masks.

00:26:18Guest:But I think a lot of people I see like sitting outside in street dividers and stuffing the grass and they're sitting four feet apart without masks.

00:26:26Guest:Yeah.

00:26:26Guest:So, I mean, listen, everyone has to deal like I'd rather someone does that risk than kills themselves because they feel so alone.

00:26:33Guest:We all basically are like taking calculated risks at this point to battle risks.

00:26:38Guest:Potential depression and we've hit a weird phase.

00:26:43Guest:We've hit a weird phase where the psychological effect is starting to be weighted more heavily than just the fear of, you know, contracting COVID.

00:26:54Marc:Right.

00:26:55Marc:The psychological effect of the impending election or non-election and just, you know, the diminishing hope and the fact that nobody seems to have a policy in place to stop this fucking thing.

00:27:06Guest:Like, yeah, everyone's like there's no one source.

00:27:08Guest:I mean, everyone's just like, I saw this doctor online that said this.

00:27:14Marc:I don't even know what the state rules are at this point.

00:27:17Guest:What's closed?

00:27:18Marc:What's open?

00:27:19Marc:I don't fucking know.

00:27:20Marc:I got a friend who has a record store.

00:27:22Marc:He's like, I can open.

00:27:23Marc:I'm like, what?

00:27:24Marc:I mean, yeah, that seems pretty non-essential.

00:27:26Marc:I mean, I think retail outlets are allowed to be open.

00:27:31Guest:Yeah, that's weird.

00:27:32Guest:And why did they it felt like we were doing really good and then they're like, OK, let's open all the businesses.

00:27:38Marc:Right.

00:27:38Marc:And then there's a million cases.

00:27:39Guest:And I guess there's just so much pressure from business owners to be like, open up, we're going to all go broke.

00:27:45Guest:But it's like, again, like there just needs to be more of a stimulus and like canceling rent, all these things.

00:27:50Guest:Like, I just don't get it.

00:27:51Guest:You're just going to evict all these people and like make all these businesses closed down.

00:27:56Guest:That's the plan.

00:27:57Marc:It's crazy, man.

00:27:58Guest:I'm not smart enough.

00:28:00Guest:I'm not smart enough.

00:28:01Marc:No, I think your impulses are correct, but you know, thank you.

00:28:04Marc:It's not, it's not that you're not smart enough.

00:28:05Marc:It's just the world is fucking insane.

00:28:07Yeah.

00:28:07Marc:i like that you assume that you are smart enough and you're like no you're smart you're pretty smart yeah no you're very smart i i've actually taken to i'll go down to dodger stadium and get a covet test every two weeks because it's kind of a fun day out whoa yeah and so is it the nose one no it's the uh cough into your mouth one you uh you go yeah you just do like coughs like 10 times or something right and then you swab and then you put you're in your car you're alone you can play your own music

00:28:37Marc:You know, you can.

00:28:39Guest:Hey, what's good music to cough to?

00:28:42Guest:But it's like, what about we will rock you, but we will cough you.

00:28:46Marc:Exactly.

00:28:46Marc:No, but you can go do it.

00:28:48Marc:I mean, like, I don't know why I've gotten into the habit of it, but I've done it two or three times where it's like, why not do it every two weeks?

00:28:54Marc:It's not costing me anything.

00:28:55Marc:And and there you you can sign up on Sunday for Monday and there's plenty of spots and then you get your results by Tuesday.

00:29:03Yeah.

00:29:03Guest:I've noticed that a lot of people who get a test, they're like, no, no, I tested negative.

00:29:07Guest:So then they'll just.

00:29:08Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:29:08Marc:You're only good for a day.

00:29:10Marc:No, you're good.

00:29:10Guest:It's like, OK, if you took an HIV test, you're like, I tested negative so I can fuck anyone raw for the rest of my life.

00:29:17Guest:Like, no, dude, it's not.

00:29:18Guest:It doesn't work like that.

00:29:20Marc:Well, I think what the benefit of it is.

00:29:23Marc:Because like I'm pretty fucking safe.

00:29:25Marc:I mean, do you go like when I've got I got hold of one of those N95 masks.

00:29:30Marc:So if I go anywhere out, if I go into a store, I'll wear that mask and a plastic guard on my face.

00:29:37Guest:I'd love to see it.

00:29:39Marc:I put pictures on Instagram.

00:29:41Marc:I'll send you a picture.

00:29:42Guest:I'll check it out.

00:29:42Guest:um a while back but uh but that's how i go into the world if i'm going to be around people yeah but what are you smart i mean i have not entered a business in four months really yeah like i don't know anyone who's been as strict and like obviously it's a luxury we we don't we get food delivered we don't go he doesn't go either no we we get it we haven't been in any businesses and

00:30:09Guest:You know, and as information has increased, it seems like it's like about the duration of time that you're inside and all this stuff.

00:30:17Guest:But I feel like you have seen a number of news stories about people getting in at grocery stores or whatever.

00:30:22Guest:And we've just been super reclusive.

00:30:25Marc:And as like, what's that doing for your relationship?

00:30:30Marc:It's awesome.

00:30:35Guest:It's so romantic.

00:30:40Guest:I don't know.

00:30:41Guest:I mean, it's pretty hard because we're cooking, we're cleaning, we're doing childcare.

00:30:45Guest:We're trying to do our work stuff as well.

00:30:47Marc:For the show business that's going to happen again, maybe.

00:30:51Guest:Right.

00:30:52Guest:Exactly.

00:30:53Guest:Like it's hard to know what there is, what goals to even have at this time for work.

00:30:57Guest:But but yeah, it's pretty exhausting.

00:31:00Marc:Let's go back to a simpler time, because I listened to some of the stuff that we talked about in 10 years ago.

00:31:06Guest:Cool.

00:31:07Guest:Yeah.

00:31:07Guest:What was it?

00:31:08Marc:Well, one of them was you talked about a fear of commitment and that, you know, how you would max out in relationships after like a year or two.

00:31:20Marc:Wow.

00:31:20Guest:Yeah.

00:31:21Marc:You were like pretty set on that.

00:31:25Guest:Yeah.

00:31:26Marc:And what changed all that, Chelsea?

00:31:29Yeah.

00:31:30Guest:Well, I do think a lot about the whole expression.

00:31:33Guest:Like you haven't met the one until you've met the one.

00:31:36Guest:Yeah.

00:31:36Guest:Right.

00:31:37Guest:But I also think like I, I, what I did through therapy and

00:31:42Guest:sobriety a variety of things like i think i did work on my shit a lot and so i would be attracted to not saying i wouldn't still be attracted to like shitty guys right but it would it would just last less long each time like the amount of time i'd be willing to give over to someone shitty would be shorter and shorter until i met someone who wasn't shitty

00:32:07Marc:Wow.

00:32:08Marc:Okay.

00:32:08Marc:So like the habit, the instinctual habit of gravitating towards monsters or shitty people.

00:32:14Guest:Yes.

00:32:15Guest:Yeah.

00:32:15Guest:Your dad.

00:32:16Guest:Yeah.

00:32:20Hi, dad.

00:32:20Marc:That's you started you.

00:32:22Marc:Oh, so you got on to yourself and you couldn't.

00:32:25Marc:It's almost like it's almost like using like you get tired of it.

00:32:29Marc:You're like, why am I still doing this?

00:32:31Guest:Yeah.

00:32:31Guest:I'm like, oh, here I go with this quote unquote mysterious guy where it's just like a guy who's a fucking mess.

00:32:38Guest:You know what I mean?

00:32:39Guest:Yeah.

00:32:40Yeah.

00:32:40Guest:And and I think it would I used to when I was younger, you're like, OK, I'll date you for a year, like anyone you meet pretty much like I got a year to give.

00:32:49Guest:Yeah.

00:32:49Marc:Anyone, anyone like anyone who likes you, you know, you like me.

00:32:53Guest:Yeah.

00:32:53Guest:You're like, OK, let's commit for a bit.

00:32:55Guest:And then it's like when you get older, it's like a year is a big chunk of your life at that point, like as a ratio or something.

00:33:02Guest:I could never do a year.

00:33:03Marc:It always lasted longer, man.

00:33:05Marc:It takes me.

00:33:05Marc:It takes a lot of drama.

00:33:07Marc:It could take a lot of drama and three to five years to extricate myself from something I should have stopped in a month.

00:33:14Guest:Yeah, that's I didn't have that problem.

00:33:17Marc:That's good.

00:33:17Guest:That's that's a whole different problem.

00:33:19Marc:That's bad.

00:33:21Marc:But and I'm alone in childless.

00:33:22Marc:See what that problem does.

00:33:24Marc:How did that happen?

00:33:25Guest:God.

00:33:27Guest:God wanted you.

00:33:28Guest:God wanted you in this.

00:33:33Guest:He wanted you in this path.

00:33:34Guest:Now, are you still doing like strict dieting and stuff?

00:33:37Guest:I feel like you were always on that kind of manorexic vibe when I'm.

00:33:40Marc:I'm still a manorexic, but like things have taken a little bit of a turn.

00:33:44Marc:I'm OK.

00:33:45Marc:But but like like I was doing really good.

00:33:48Marc:And then, you know, I had tragedy and horror.

00:33:51Guest:Yeah, I'm sorry.

00:33:52Marc:Thank you.

00:33:53Marc:And then, you know, then I had to put the cat asleep.

00:33:55Marc:And then like after a certain point.

00:33:57Guest:Oh, my God.

00:33:58Marc:Yeah.

00:33:59Marc:I know.

00:33:59Marc:After a certain point, I'm like, well, it doesn't look like I'm going to be on camera for a while.

00:34:04Guest:and can i tell you what a shitty mom i'm such a shitty mom like when you said you had to put your cat to sleep i was like in my head i'm thinking i'll get you a cat i'll get you a cat like i just want to throw money i'm like i have another one okay good yeah okay sorry i didn't mean to interrupt you but i'm like let me fix it let me buy you something

00:34:23Marc:you don't have to buy a cat they're all over there you can just pick them up off the street yeah yeah and you get one you get a new one anytime so but like all i'm saying is that like i've had i got to reel it in because i've been eating kind of garbagey but uh like what's what's your go-to garbage treat god damn it if i could eat ice cream every fucking day i would but fortunately what's your flavor though uh ben and jerry's peanut butter cup

00:34:49Guest:It's funny to hear like a grown person say that.

00:34:53Marc:Cause it's got peanut butter ice cream with the like big pieces of peanut butter cup in it.

00:34:57Marc:And then with some vanilla.

00:34:59Marc:Yeah.

00:34:59Marc:I can put vanilla in there, but I've also got like cholesterol issues.

00:35:03Marc:It's a really difficult time because you do.

00:35:06Guest:Yeah.

00:35:07Guest:It's genetic.

00:35:08Marc:How bad?

00:35:09Guest:And I've never eaten worse.

00:35:11Guest:I've never been more massive in my life.

00:35:13Guest:I was just telling my mom, I'm like, there's really no excuse for an adult to ever eat ice cream.

00:35:19Marc:Except like being awake.

00:35:21Guest:Yeah, that's the only excuse.

00:35:24Guest:But it's brutal.

00:35:25Guest:I feel like anytime it's mealtime, it's like a parade is coming through in a small town.

00:35:29Guest:You know, it's like you're sitting around with nothing going on.

00:35:34Guest:And then it's like the food has arrived.

00:35:40Marc:Where are you getting your food from?

00:35:41Guest:I mean, we were cooking every meal for the first two months.

00:35:44Guest:We didn't order one thing and it was crazy.

00:35:47Guest:We were like really exploring our cooking abilities.

00:35:51Guest:Then once we learned like surfaces weren't as dangerous, we just started ordering.

00:35:56Guest:Once you do that, it's impossible.

00:35:57Guest:You know, mozza, you can order pizza dough and all the fixings from them.

00:36:01Marc:Yeah.

00:36:02Guest:And it's so good.

00:36:03Guest:The sauce is so good.

00:36:05Marc:I haven't done any delivery.

00:36:07Marc:Like, you know, after Lynn, after Lynn passed away, people were sending me shit.

00:36:11Marc:So I knew it was possible.

00:36:12Marc:And that went on for like a month or two.

00:36:14Marc:I don't do it.

00:36:16Marc:I don't know why I don't do it.

00:36:17Marc:Is it one?

00:36:18Marc:You call one company and they'll deliver anything.

00:36:20Marc:Is that how it works?

00:36:23Guest:You sound so out of it.

00:36:26Guest:You said you call one company.

00:36:29Guest:No, it's all apps.

00:36:30Guest:It's like.

00:36:31Guest:I have like five different food delivery apps, which might be part of my problem.

00:36:36Marc:I sound like an old guy.

00:36:37Marc:Like you just do it on the phone.

00:36:39Guest:You get it on the phone.

00:36:41Guest:You call the company and they give you the food.

00:36:45Guest:I'm like, no, not at all.

00:36:49Marc:Yeah.

00:36:51Guest:Yeah.

00:36:51Guest:You got to get all these different apps because different restaurants work with different apps.

00:36:55Guest:So it's like not one app will get you all the places you need.

00:37:00Marc:Which apps do you have?

00:37:02Guest:Listen, you name it, I've got it.

00:37:04Marc:Well, I mean, what do you use?

00:37:05Marc:Let me write it down because now I'm starting to question my process.

00:37:08Guest:I'll text you everything.

00:37:10Marc:Oh, okay.

00:37:12Marc:I don't have to write it down.

00:37:13Marc:I got my pen out.

00:37:14Guest:Yeah, that's also an ancient device, a pen.

00:37:19Marc:I was ready to write some shit down.

00:37:20Guest:I can't believe you pulled out a pen.

00:37:25Marc:So, so yeah.

00:37:28Marc:So back 10 years ago, you said you thought you were going to be alone forever.

00:37:31Marc:And now you've corrected all that.

00:37:32Guest:That's crazy.

00:37:34Guest:No, but I, you know, what's crazy.

00:37:35Guest:I, my mind has found a way to still maintain that fear where you're like, well, every time, like,

00:37:41Guest:Jordan leaves for like, he'll take our child somewhere or something.

00:37:46Guest:I'm like, they're going to die in a car crash and I'm going to be alone.

00:37:49Guest:You know, it's like, I think because I'm a child of divorce, I don't believe that marriage is this shield of invincibility.

00:37:58Guest:You know what I mean?

00:37:59Marc:Yeah, right.

00:37:59Guest:Of course, it's sort of it's like anything can happen in life.

00:38:03Guest:So I don't feel guaranteed to never be alone.

00:38:08Guest:And the other thing is, like, you can feel alone no matter who you're surrounded by.

00:38:12Guest:So, yeah, it's the worst.

00:38:14Guest:I think I think my brand is secure.

00:38:16Marc:Yeah.

00:38:17Marc:But but you but you seem good.

00:38:19Marc:I mean, you seem like you don't seem depressed.

00:38:21Marc:I mean, you're just you're just worrying.

00:38:23Marc:Yeah.

00:38:24Guest:Listen, the first four months of this, I think I had a pretty good attitude and we're kind of reclusive anyway.

00:38:30Guest:So it wasn't even, it was different, but it wasn't like crazy different.

00:38:35Guest:But I think once it hit four months and there's no end in sight, I definitely started feeling more depressed.

00:38:41Marc:No, I feel I feel that now.

00:38:42Marc:Yeah.

00:38:43Marc:Yeah.

00:38:43Marc:I feel like all I want to do is like I want somebody to fix it and I want to leave.

00:38:49Yeah.

00:38:51Guest:That's that's what Biden's and Kamala's platform needs to be.

00:38:57Guest:We're going to fix it and you can leave.

00:39:00Yeah.

00:39:00Guest:Yeah, it's crazy for comedians because it's like you're so used to traveling and then it's just like, nope, and you can't do sets.

00:39:10Guest:I mean, I keep wondering about all these comedians that when I was younger, they're like, you got to do three sets a night.

00:39:15Guest:You got to do three sets.

00:39:16Guest:Sure.

00:39:16Guest:What are they doing?

00:39:18Guest:Yeah.

00:39:18Guest:What's it?

00:39:19Marc:What is it?

00:39:21Guest:i don't know i mean what is it like those people actually i know what they're doing they're doing fucking shows are they i've seen them on instagram people well i don't know about to tell but i mean there's comedians that are straight up doing shows right now i know fucking like a couple of guys went out and got covid in yeah i know the guys in question

00:39:42Guest:A couple of guys.

00:39:44Marc:You know, those guys.

00:39:47Guest:Those guys.

00:39:47Marc:Yeah.

00:39:48Marc:But I don't know.

00:39:49Marc:I don't feel like I'm not missing it that much.

00:39:52Marc:I don't know why.

00:39:52Marc:Is that weird?

00:39:53Guest:No.

00:39:53Guest:Oh, no.

00:39:54Guest:Not in the slightest.

00:39:55Guest:But I always had major ambivalence.

00:39:58Marc:No, I know.

00:39:59Marc:But I didn't really.

00:40:00Marc:It was a habit.

00:40:01Marc:I did it, and I always liked doing it.

00:40:03Marc:It was just my life.

00:40:05Marc:But I haven't fucking missed it at all, really.

00:40:08Marc:It's weird.

00:40:09Marc:I think I needed a break or something.

00:40:11Marc:And I feel like my last special, if that's my last special, my last one, fuck it.

00:40:14Marc:That was as good as I'm going to be, really.

00:40:16Guest:Okay.

00:40:17Guest:See, now that is a huge, huge feeling.

00:40:20Guest:That's what I'm always like seeking is like, I want to feel I put out something that expressed myself to the fullest and then I'll feel like I can rest, you know?

00:40:30Marc:You don't feel like you have?

00:40:31Guest:Well, no, because I want to make like a TV show or I wrote a movie that I want to make or like, you know, it's like something like that where it's like...

00:40:38Marc:Yeah.

00:40:39Marc:All you.

00:40:39Marc:And you have control over it.

00:40:42Marc:And you're not just relying on an audience full of weirdos to justify whether you're good or not.

00:40:48Guest:Yeah, exactly.

00:40:50Guest:I mean, just like more like your full sensibility.

00:40:52Guest:Like, yeah, I just I haven't hit that place.

00:40:55Guest:So if I die right now, I won't be that site.

00:40:57Marc:That's weird because I I that's exactly what's going on.

00:41:02Marc:Like there was part of me that was and it's right now where I'm like, I could be done.

00:41:07Marc:I saved a little.

00:41:08Marc:No.

00:41:08Guest:Wait a minute.

00:41:09Guest:No, not suicide.

00:41:10Marc:No, no, no.

00:41:12Guest:Everyone's going to be like, Chelsea, you're encouraging Mark to kill himself.

00:41:18Guest:I'm like, absolutely don't do it.

00:41:20Marc:No, no, I was going with the retired.

00:41:23Marc:This is the retired fantasy.

00:41:24Marc:This isn't hanging from my closet door fantasy.

00:41:29Marc:this is where i'm in ireland in a in a cottage okay good that's beautiful that's beautiful yeah i love that for you no no but there is a feeling where i'm like what what else what else do i have to do i've done it i granted i didn't do it on a level where everyone in the world knows me i'm not that famous but in my heart i know i did it fuck it yeah that's pretty good have you been writing a movie

00:41:54Guest:you know, I wrote one, um, and I, I'm pretty into it.

00:42:00Guest:And then this pandemic happened.

00:42:02Guest:So like, it was kind of like moving around, things were happening.

00:42:06Guest:And then this pandemic happened and, you know, I had zero desire to try to work these first four months.

00:42:13Guest:This is only like just now where I'm like, all right, well, if this is going to go on for this long, I got to figure out something creatively, you know, to feel inspired and

00:42:22Guest:just have goals in my life.

00:42:25Marc:Are we in month five?

00:42:28Marc:Is that what month we're in?

00:42:30Guest:I think so, but honestly, I feel like I've been saying four months for a while.

00:42:34Guest:So yeah, maybe it is five months.

00:42:36Marc:Because it started in the middle of March, right?

00:42:39Marc:So April, May, June, July, August.

00:42:41Marc:Yeah, we're at five months or so.

00:42:43Marc:Yeah, I can't.

00:42:44Marc:I haven't felt the pressure.

00:42:46Marc:Obviously, I went through some fucking shit, but I haven't felt the pressure to create, really, other than talk to people and talk on the podcast.

00:42:55Guest:Yeah, but this is something.

00:42:56Guest:I'm working for sure.

00:42:58Marc:I'm definitely working.

00:43:00Marc:And occasionally I'll do the panicky, you know, manic live Instagram.

00:43:05Guest:Yes.

00:43:05Guest:The random.

00:43:06Marc:You're just sitting around going, it's time.

00:43:10Marc:Let's do it.

00:43:12Guest:Hey, someone talk to me.

00:43:13Guest:Yeah.

00:43:14Marc:Have you done those?

00:43:15Guest:Yes, definitely.

00:43:17Guest:It's the social media is just such a crazy world where you can just be like, okay, I need a shot of attention.

00:43:23Guest:Exactly.

00:43:23Guest:And then you just can go get that shot and then it lasts you for a while because someone said something messed up in the comments and then you're like, no, I don't need this attention.

00:43:33Guest:I don't need this attention.

00:43:35Guest:So aren't they going to run out of shit for us to watch?

00:43:39Guest:I already feel pretty limited.

00:43:41Guest:I've watched a few things, but, you know, we really like Love Island UK, and they have like 80 episodes a season, so that's holding me down pretty good.

00:43:52Marc:Did you watch I May Destroy You?

00:43:55Guest:Oh my God.

00:43:55Guest:I haven't completed it, but I think it's so brilliant.

00:43:59Marc:And, um, what a trip, man.

00:44:01Guest:I mean, I think her show is such a masterpiece because it's funny and it's cool looking and it's engaging, but it truly makes you go to an incredibly deep place, especially, I mean, and not to say men don't also suffer sexual trauma as she shows in her show too.

00:44:18Guest:And, and straight men do too.

00:44:19Guest:Um,

00:44:21Guest:And so, yeah, it definitely made me like revisit trauma and like have to process it again.

00:44:28Guest:So I think that's such an amazing service to people and incredible to create something that has such an intense impact on people.

00:44:41Marc:Yeah, it's like for me, like I just wanted to watch it because I found her to be so engaging.

00:44:47Marc:And it feels like a different world to me generationally and also race-wise.

00:44:54Marc:Like I literally...

00:44:56Marc:All I can sort of see is and feel is the humanity coming through it.

00:45:00Marc:But in terms of the context, I know nothing about that world, about England, about being black in England, about being any of it.

00:45:09Guest:Well, don't sell yourself short.

00:45:11Guest:I think you know a lot.

00:45:12Marc:No, I'm just kidding.

00:45:13Marc:No, but nonetheless, the issues and the humanity and the intensity all comes through.

00:45:19Marc:And I can't stop watching it.

00:45:20Marc:I watched all of them.

00:45:21Guest:it's so good i can't i gotta finish it but it's it's definitely like so fucking intense and like just talking to other people you know everyone i i've talked to about it it's like it brings up so much shit for people it's wild what else you've been watching anything fun though

00:45:37Guest:Yeah, Dave, I thought was fun.

00:45:41Guest:I love Search Party.

00:45:42Guest:I love Love Island.

00:45:45Marc:I don't even know what these are.

00:45:46Guest:Really?

00:45:47Guest:Search Party?

00:45:47Guest:You would like Search Party a lot.

00:45:49Marc:What is that?

00:45:50Guest:It's kind of like this mix between a comedy and a thriller.

00:45:53Marc:Oh, okay.

00:45:57Guest:And it's really good.

00:45:58Marc:Are your people calling you, offering you things and setting up meetings, like show business is going to happen?

00:46:07Marc:Not really.

00:46:07Marc:I love that.

00:46:09Marc:They're like, you want to do a general meeting?

00:46:10Marc:I'm like, why?

00:46:11Marc:Why?

00:46:11Marc:Yeah.

00:46:13Guest:You want to tread water?

00:46:15Guest:Yeah.

00:46:16Marc:I have to shoot an entire season of a TV show that they've now pushed to 2021.

00:46:20Marc:Maybe.

00:46:21Marc:Oh my God.

00:46:22Marc:Oh my God.

00:46:23Marc:There's nothing.

00:46:23Marc:There's not like, and now like that, when I really think about that, I'm so glad I have this job of doing the podcast, but like the thing that I have to do that I'm contractually obligated to do, they're like sometime in 2021.

00:46:33Marc:And I'm like,

00:46:34Marc:Stand-up's not coming back.

00:46:36Marc:I don't want to go to fucking drive-ins or like parking lots.

00:46:40Guest:I think drive-ins sounds kind of fun.

00:46:42Guest:Honestly, like it sounds better than regular stand-up.

00:46:47Guest:But what if you can't?

00:46:48Guest:I'm like, good.

00:46:49Guest:Keep the audience encased in metal and glass.

00:46:52Marc:How do you pace yourself if you can't hear them laughing?

00:46:57Guest:I guess you just presume they're laughing.

00:47:00Marc:I'm not good at that.

00:47:02Guest:I don't know.

00:47:02Guest:I mean, yeah, I guess maybe it would suck.

00:47:05Guest:I mean, I don't know.

00:47:06Guest:I just think like the context of doing standup for people in their cars would be funny.

00:47:10Guest:And then you could riff on that or something.

00:47:12Marc:Sure.

00:47:13Marc:Sure.

00:47:13Marc:For a while.

00:47:14Marc:And then you'd just be standing alone in front of a giant empty screen in front of a bunch of cars.

00:47:18Guest:A lone honk rings out through the air.

00:47:21Guest:Unclear if it's heckling or support.

00:47:24Yeah.

00:47:24Marc:Exactly.

00:47:25Marc:I've been watching old movies.

00:47:27Marc:Of course you have.

00:47:28Marc:You haven't you the criterion channel?

00:47:33Guest:No, I said, I'm jealous of other people because it was just a good time.

00:47:36Guest:But like, I honestly, I'm not even convinced.

00:47:38Guest:Like what's in the criterion channel.

00:47:43Guest:I mean, I'll tell you what I liked.

00:47:45Marc:A lot of movies you think you should have watched if you studied film at some point in your life.

00:47:49Guest:Right.

00:47:50Guest:Right.

00:47:50Guest:That's what I'm afraid of.

00:47:52Guest:Yeah.

00:47:54Guest:Like, I liked On Golden Pond.

00:47:58Marc:Yeah, I don't think that's on there.

00:48:03Guest:Like, how old are we talking?

00:48:04Marc:They go back, man.

00:48:05Guest:I don't know.

00:48:06Marc:There's a whole bunch of movies under Western Noir.

00:48:10Guest:oh god i don't know i don't know i can't like the old movie pace is just like i feel like i'm like trying to act like a smart person watching it and i'm like ah just cut to something go go go yeah like i i'm just too used to faster moving things like it's hard so you guys aren't socializing at all is it all on on facetime and zoom

00:48:33Guest:Yeah, we're not a, you know, occasional backyard mask hangs.

00:48:40Guest:But the thing that it's, I could do it.

00:48:43Guest:It's not killing me.

00:48:44Guest:It's more my kid not having seen any kid in four months.

00:48:49Guest:I'm worried he's going to get weird, you know?

00:48:51Marc:Yeah.

00:48:52Guest:but I try to comfort myself.

00:48:54Guest:Like if we grew up on a farm or somewhere rural or remote, like it's not like you'd be going to classes every week.

00:49:00Guest:Like, like these metropolitan kids, you know, how did those farm kids turn out?

00:49:05Marc:Really?

00:49:05Marc:You want to farm?

00:49:06Guest:Well, the difference is those farm kids are like,

00:49:09Guest:feeding chickens and like have a horse that's their friend i mean he's not getting the upside of that you know he's just in a backyard of a la home so i don't know i don't know i'm just worried he's gonna get weird i mean he said yesterday i don't want the mirror anymore i want other kids oh no oh my god

00:49:33Guest:I'm like, oh my God.

00:49:36Guest:I mean, and these things just like really, they just really hurt your heart.

00:49:40Guest:And you think of like, I look at my old photos of like all these birthday parties and classes and museums and things like that we always were doing to just give him like, he's like a little sponge.

00:49:51Guest:You want to give your kid tons of new experiences and things to learn.

00:49:55Guest:And he was just soaking it all up.

00:49:57Guest:And all of a sudden it's like, you can't touch anyone.

00:49:59Guest:You can't see anyone.

00:50:00Guest:Everything's closed.

00:50:01Guest:And it's like,

00:50:02Guest:you just, it just feels bad.

00:50:04Marc:So what have you talked to other parents?

00:50:06Marc:What are they doing?

00:50:08Guest:You know what other parents they're like, you're lucky your kid's young.

00:50:10Guest:It doesn't have any impact on them at all.

00:50:12Guest:It's like every parent wants to say, I've got it the worst for my kids.

00:50:17Guest:But I don't agree.

00:50:18Guest:Like how, how about my son said he doesn't want the mirror anymore.

00:50:22Guest:He wants other kids.

00:50:24Guest:You think that might be a psychological issue?

00:50:27Guest:Yeah.

00:50:28Marc:There's no way around it.

00:50:29Marc:There's no way that he does.

00:50:31Marc:He have friends that you can talk to on the Zoom or nothing.

00:50:34Guest:I guess he's not into the Zoom.

00:50:37Guest:You know what he does when I get him on with another kid?

00:50:39Guest:He goes, bye.

00:50:43Guest:so the apple doesn't fall far from the tree i'm like that is and they're and they'll be so excited to talk to him they're like hi and he's like bye and walks away oh no so i don't know i'm trying to like constantly look at the statistics and the research and see if there's ways for him to have um a school a small school situation or a play date you know but we just we don't know any families that are

00:51:12Guest:being as strict as we are and um oh you don't have like a pod of people no i we no i don't have a pod and honestly all the pod talk is so stressful it's like yeah i'm not trying to pod with someone who doesn't know how to cook you know what i mean like i'm not cooking for everyone yeah and

00:51:35Guest:You know, it's like where I'm not trying to pod with someone who like I can't communicate comfortably with about things like it's a pretty big trust that you're putting in someone.

00:51:45Guest:And if I can't ask you like questions and feel safe, I'm not going to pod with you, you know, so.

00:51:52Guest:So that leaves no one.

00:51:53Marc:So so a pod means it's actually some sort of like agreement that you're all going to do this together.

00:51:59Marc:The pod thing.

00:52:01Guest:Yeah.

00:52:01Guest:You're supposed to have, you know, agreed upon rules that everyone in the pod agrees to.

00:52:07Guest:And I mean, even like ostensibly in writing.

00:52:12Marc:Wow.

00:52:13Guest:That you all hold each other to, but I don't know anyone who has that attitude, you know, and, and the encouraging thing, but then I saw conflicting news recently was like, the idea was that young children don't transmit it or contract it as easily.

00:52:27Marc:Yeah.

00:52:27Guest:But then I saw something conflicting that.

00:52:30Guest:And that's how it's been this whole time.

00:52:32Guest:It's just endless.

00:52:33Guest:But at least Putin found a vaccine.

00:52:36Guest:That's encouraging.

00:52:37Marc:Yeah.

00:52:37Marc:And it's only a matter of time before Trump, you know, invites him here to make manufacture it.

00:52:42Marc:Maybe we're just going to become, you know, sister, brother, sister nations.

00:52:46Guest:And that's right.

00:52:48Marc:We can just freely go to Russia if we want.

00:52:50Marc:It's all going to be the same government.

00:52:52Yeah.

00:52:52Guest:Sometimes I'm like, are we just going to hear like a loudspeaker and Russian?

00:52:57Guest:And we're like, it's happened.

00:52:59Marc:It's time.

00:53:00Marc:Yeah.

00:53:01Marc:Now we have to we have to get that app and translate things.

00:53:05Guest:Yeah, exactly.

00:53:06Guest:Hold it up to the sky.

00:53:08Marc:So what I watched the what is how did that movie happen?

00:53:13Marc:The spinster movie.

00:53:15Guest:spinster happened.

00:53:16Guest:My agency just forwarded me an email with an offer to play this role.

00:53:21Marc:That's what I thought.

00:53:22Marc:Right.

00:53:22Marc:It was an indie film, right?

00:53:24Guest:Yes.

00:53:25Marc:No money.

00:53:26Marc:Yeah.

00:53:26Marc:And no money.

00:53:27Marc:And you know, they said this, we kind of like this script.

00:53:30Marc:This guy's never made a movie before.

00:53:32Guest:No opposite.

00:53:34Guest:They didn't say one comment on the script.

00:53:37Guest:They just forwarded me an offer for my first lead role in a film with no comment at all about anything.

00:53:44Guest:And yeah,

00:53:44Guest:No.

00:53:45Guest:And it was directed by a woman and she has directed like, I think three other movies in Nova Scotia.

00:53:52Marc:I didn't mean to be a condescending.

00:53:54Guest:She's a huge fan of yours.

00:53:55Guest:So I just want to, I just want to preserve that.

00:53:58Guest:Um, yeah.

00:53:59Marc:Yeah, I did.

00:54:01Marc:I didn't.

00:54:02Marc:There wasn't a lot of paperwork.

00:54:03Marc:There was no I didn't get a big press package about the movie.

00:54:06Guest:Listen, listen, I don't I don't mean to make you feel bad.

00:54:09Guest:I just want to.

00:54:10Marc:What's her name?

00:54:10Guest:Clarify.

00:54:12Guest:Andrea Dorfman.

00:54:13Guest:And she's from she's a Canadian.

00:54:16Guest:Yeah, actually, I don't know if she's from Nova Scotia.

00:54:18Guest:I forget.

00:54:19Guest:But she she's lives there.

00:54:20Guest:And that's where all her films were set.

00:54:23Marc:Oh, because I just talked to Ellen Page and she's from Nova Scotia.

00:54:26Guest:I know.

00:54:27Guest:She's like sort of been a great confidant on all things Nova Scotia.

00:54:32Marc:So what, so what was the process?

00:54:33Marc:So you just, you took, so they sent me this.

00:54:35Guest:I said, Oh, that's cool.

00:54:37Guest:I think my son, I don't know.

00:54:39Guest:I just had my son.

00:54:40Guest:So he was young.

00:54:41Guest:I went and I requested that they send me her other movies and I watched them and I thought, you know, this is cool.

00:54:47Guest:This woman feels very artistic and

00:54:51Guest:Nova Scotia is like this beautiful backdrop in all her films and it looks really cool.

00:54:57Guest:And, and I was like, let me, I want to do this.

00:54:59Guest:I want to go to Nova Scotia, bring my baby.

00:55:02Guest:I brought my awesome nanny at the time who made it all possible.

00:55:06Guest:And, um, and it was like a month and we did it.

00:55:10Guest:It was like a 14 hour trip door to door.

00:55:13Marc:You shot it all in Nova Scotia.

00:55:15Guest:Yeah.

00:55:16Guest:It was in Halifax and you know, sometimes like some of the outlying areas.

00:55:22Guest:And it was pretty cool.

00:55:23Guest:Yeah.

00:55:23Guest:It was written by a woman, directed by a woman.

00:55:26Guest:And the DP was a woman.

00:55:29Guest:So that was also appealing to me.

00:55:32Marc:Well, that's great.

00:55:33Marc:And also, well, that explains a lot of things because I was like, how do I not know one of these actors?

00:55:38Marc:Yes.

00:55:40Guest:Because it was.

00:55:41Guest:They're all Canadian.

00:55:42Guest:Yeah.

00:55:43Guest:Canadians.

00:55:43Guest:Yeah.

00:55:44Marc:I thought you were really funny.

00:55:45Marc:And I and I think that it deals with the like sort of it's what's funny is that like looking back at the interview we did 10 years ago.

00:55:53Marc:Right.

00:55:54Marc:You would have been that person.

00:55:56Guest:Exactly.

00:55:57Guest:Well, that's why people are like, was it so hard for you to play this person?

00:56:00Guest:I'm like, no, I feel like I was a stone's throw from being this woman.

00:56:04Guest:And like I said, I still do.

00:56:07Guest:My worst fear is I'll lose everything.

00:56:11Guest:I feel too lucky and I feel too happy.

00:56:14Guest:And it's like, I think this is a thing.

00:56:17Guest:If your childhood had some weird things going on, you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

00:56:22Guest:Yeah.

00:56:23Marc:Yeah.

00:56:23Marc:What's going on with your folks?

00:56:25Marc:They're still around, right?

00:56:28Guest:Yeah, they are.

00:56:29Guest:My dad, who was kind of a reclusive guy himself, now that COVID is happening, he's like, I have to go to a store every day.

00:56:38Guest:He's like, I got to get out of the house and go to a store every day.

00:56:42Guest:He's in the Bay Area.

00:56:43Guest:That's where I grew up.

00:56:44Marc:Right, in Oakland.

00:56:45Marc:They're both still up there?

00:56:47Guest:Yeah.

00:56:48Marc:Huh.

00:56:49Guest:So he's out.

00:56:50Marc:He's going to stores every day.

00:56:51Guest:He's going to stores every single day.

00:56:53Guest:I'm like, you're such a contrarian.

00:56:55Guest:Like before this, like his wife would like beg him to leave the house and go do stuff.

00:57:00Guest:And he was just like always, you know, in the house.

00:57:04Marc:And where's your mom?

00:57:05Marc:What's she doing?

00:57:07Guest:And she's, well, everyone's, everyone's stuck.

00:57:10Guest:Right.

00:57:11Marc:But I mean, are they keeping, keeping it together?

00:57:14Guest:Well, they're not, they're separate entities since I was one.

00:57:17Marc:But I mean, are they personally, that's all I mean.

00:57:20Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:57:21Guest:I mean, I listen.

00:57:22Guest:They seem like they're doing good.

00:57:24Guest:My mother.

00:57:24Marc:I feel like my mother's starting to come unhinged a little bit because her.

00:57:29Marc:She's OK.

00:57:30Marc:But I mean, her boyfriend was annoying to begin with.

00:57:33Marc:And I just can't imagine, you know, like just the thought of them to, you know, like, when's that going to break up?

00:57:41Guest:Does he listen?

00:57:42Marc:No, he doesn't listen at all.

00:57:44Marc:And he never shuts up.

00:57:45Guest:And does your mom?

00:57:46Guest:Yeah.

00:57:46Guest:No, to your podcast.

00:57:48Marc:Oh, oh, no.

00:57:49Marc:I thought you meant as a person.

00:57:50Marc:No.

00:57:53Marc:My mom will listen, but he doesn't listen.

00:57:54Marc:John doesn't listen.

00:57:56Marc:I mean, he gets mad at me sometimes because he hears things about what I said.

00:57:59Marc:But he just never he just keeps talking.

00:58:01Marc:My mother has always found what always.

00:58:04Marc:The two men that she's with that I knew, she just finds dudes that are like, you know, spin around and she just watches them spin around.

00:58:11Marc:And the entire engagement with this man is her going like, John, please, John.

00:58:16Marc:Yeah, right.

00:58:18Marc:John.

00:58:18Marc:Right.

00:58:20Guest:You know, what's so weird is that every children's book, like so many of them have a female character like that, like the nag or the person who's like, stop having fun.

00:58:31Guest:And I'm like, wow, we really start them young.

00:58:33Guest:That prepares them for every fucking comedy that Hollywood makes.

00:58:38Marc:Yeah.

00:58:38Guest:That has a similar role for a woman.

00:58:41Marc:Well, she's not really a nag.

00:58:42Marc:She just was is wants him to, you know, stop ranting and raving about bullshit.

00:58:48Guest:Right.

00:58:49Guest:Yeah.

00:58:49Marc:He's he just cleans things compulsively.

00:58:52Marc:That's like his hobby.

00:58:53Guest:Now, he's never come on the podcast because that sounds pretty entertaining.

00:58:57Marc:No, but I've sort of made fun of him on the podcast because, you know, it's just the way he talks, you know, everything he says, you know, is qualified by he's gotten into that phase where he tells the same story, you know, maybe two or three times a day.

00:59:14Marc:And then he always says, it was a different time.

00:59:18Guest:He has a catchphrase, a refrain.

00:59:22Marc:Yeah, yeah.

00:59:23Marc:It's a different time.

00:59:25Guest:My grandmother used to always go, it's a terrible thing.

00:59:27Guest:It's a terrible thing.

00:59:30Guest:She would just say that all the time.

00:59:32Marc:And what about like what about Jordan's family?

00:59:35Marc:Are they nearby?

00:59:36Marc:What's that?

00:59:37Guest:Yeah, I mean, because you know, they're they're all East Coast.

00:59:40Guest:Oh, my God.

00:59:41Guest:So you guys are all separated.

00:59:43Marc:So you're all like doing the Zoom call thing all the time.

00:59:46Guest:Yeah.

00:59:46Guest:We tried to do this like Sunday, I guess, trivia with our families where we do a video chat and we do trivia and we try to like gear some towards the younger people and their interests and some towards the older people.

01:00:03Guest:It's weird though.

01:00:04Guest:It's like really makes you realize how biased trivia is.

01:00:08Guest:It's just like,

01:00:09Guest:If you, if you have trivia questions about the fifties, like the parents, the older parents are going to get them.

01:00:15Marc:Yeah.

01:00:16Guest:You know?

01:00:17Guest:So it just feels like trivia is pandering to people in whatever bubble they're in.

01:00:22Marc:I guess so.

01:00:22Marc:I guess that trivia doesn't mean it has to be, you know, Dave, there's this idea of like things that, you know, from back in the day is trivia, but trivia.

01:00:30Guest:Well, it's like this.

01:00:32Guest:Yeah.

01:00:32Guest:It's like a false objectivity to the whole idea of trivia.

01:00:35Guest:Right.

01:00:36Marc:But trivia can be like, you know, what is the biggest continent?

01:00:40Marc:I don't know.

01:00:42Marc:Is that trivia or is that just information?

01:00:44Guest:Ask a history buff.

01:00:46Guest:I don't know.

01:00:48Marc:But so how many people on this call?

01:00:50Marc:Like 20?

01:00:51Guest:No, no.

01:00:52Guest:And the sad thing is like we just keep it keeps getting messed up.

01:00:56Guest:Like a nap time will be off or, you know, whatever.

01:01:00Guest:It's just it's like actually kind of hard to keep it going.

01:01:03Guest:But we were trying to do it.

01:01:05Guest:We'll see.

01:01:06Marc:So what about all the like, what about comedian friends?

01:01:09Marc:Do you talk to people?

01:01:10Guest:Yes.

01:01:11Guest:Well, motion and Natasha.

01:01:13Marc:They're very safe.

01:01:15Marc:Go sit in the backyard with them.

01:01:16Guest:Yeah, I've done that.

01:01:18Guest:And I heard you did too.

01:01:19Guest:You went on a little hike or something.

01:01:21Guest:Or was that with Al Madrigal?

01:01:22Guest:I don't know.

01:01:22Marc:Me and Al go hiking twice a week.

01:01:25Guest:Yeah, everyone I talk to is like, I just saw Maren.

01:01:30Guest:So you're going to definitely have COVID by the end of the year.

01:01:35Guest:You're patient zero.

01:01:38Guest:But no, yeah, Motion Natasha have this new setup where they have like,

01:01:42Guest:a big movie like their tv but it's on the other side of these glass doors so i can sit outside and watch a movie with them but it sucks as a comedian because you have to like shout your um your jokes through the glass door it's like the opposite of effortless but like in terms of um like i can't i can't write anything are you writing anything

01:02:04Guest:I keep telling myself that I'm getting ready to start writing something.

01:02:10Guest:The gears are showing.

01:02:11Guest:I really want to write another movie, but I don't know.

01:02:15Guest:I don't know, ma'am.

01:02:16Guest:Are you going to therapy still?

01:02:18Guest:Or did you ever?

01:02:19Marc:Well, I do distance therapy on my porch.

01:02:22Guest:Oh, that's cool.

01:02:23Marc:She comes over.

01:02:24Guest:That's a house call.

01:02:26Marc:Yeah.

01:02:27Guest:It's old timey.

01:02:28Marc:She's doing house calls.

01:02:29Marc:I'm about to figure out if I can find a trainer that'll do fucking house calls.

01:02:33Guest:Oh my God.

01:02:34Guest:I know.

01:02:34Guest:I'm thinking about that too.

01:02:35Marc:There's people.

01:02:37Guest:I know.

01:02:38Guest:I bought this like tiny exercise bike that Quinta Brunson suggested.

01:02:42Guest:And I put it in a shower in my house because there's like, we don't have a spot for it.

01:02:48Guest:And I don't want my son getting into it.

01:02:50Guest:And I've been trying to ride that every day.

01:02:53Guest:pretty depressing though just riding a stationary bike inside of a shower why go out i go hike is it am i doing the wrong thing inside a shower no what do you mean inside a shower because there's one shower that we don't use that much and it's like we don't have a huge massive house and like we don't have like a logical spot for an exercise bike so i just put it in that shower and you're like in the tub

01:03:19Guest:No, it's just a shower.

01:03:21Marc:Okay.

01:03:23Marc:Are you getting outside enough?

01:03:25Guest:I'm like, come on, man.

01:03:26Guest:It's a bike and a shower.

01:03:27Guest:What do you not understand?

01:03:30Guest:No, I would like to hike.

01:03:33Guest:I haven't really hiked.

01:03:35Guest:It's hard to find the time because we've been sort of just constantly bringing glasses of water to my son.

01:03:42Yeah.

01:03:42Guest:As any mom will tell you, much of your day is spent bringing beverages to your child.

01:03:49Marc:Yeah, I guess that's right.

01:03:50Marc:I mean, I talked to Burr and he's, you know, he's got a new baby and wow.

01:03:54Guest:Yeah.

01:03:55Marc:Now, are you having, well, that's probably, I shouldn't probably ask that aside from worry.

01:04:00Guest:Then don't.

01:04:01Marc:Well, you worry, but I mean, are you having broad sort of future concerns for the kid?

01:04:11Marc:Yes.

01:04:12Guest:Yeah, I definitely am.

01:04:13Guest:Because I think that all these kids, they're going to be impacted by this.

01:04:17Guest:How can you not?

01:04:18Guest:It's like prior to this, everything I'm doing, I'm trying to nurture my child's development.

01:04:23Guest:And how could a year in which this child is like a sponge and you're saying you can't see anyone, you can't touch anyone, you can't get close to anyone, how will that affect and shape how they see people in the world?

01:04:40Guest:How could it not impact them?

01:04:41Marc:You know, it's so fucked up about it.

01:04:43Marc:It's like, and my brain keeps hitting.

01:04:44Marc:This is like, there's no one to make us feel better.

01:04:47Marc:Like you can't call somebody and be like, how's it going there?

01:04:50Marc:And they're like, Oh God, what do you think?

01:04:52Marc:Same as you.

01:04:52Marc:It's like, what?

01:04:54Guest:I know.

01:04:54Guest:I saw someone, this girl that is actually, it doesn't matter, but this girl that's helping me do my merge.

01:05:01Guest:She did this post about how you can't really expect anything from your friends in this time.

01:05:06Guest:You shouldn't.

01:05:07Guest:expect anything from your friends.

01:05:09Guest:And I was like, that's kind of wild.

01:05:12Guest:Like, you know, in some ways I'm like, yes, you should be able to expect things from your friends.

01:05:16Guest:But in other ways I'm like, you know, it is true.

01:05:18Guest:Everyone's like struggling.

01:05:21Guest:Everyone is trying their hardest to hold it together.

01:05:24Guest:Right.

01:05:25Guest:Yeah.

01:05:25Marc:Yeah, exactly.

01:05:26Guest:And, and their fam and take care of their families and just get through each day.

01:05:31Guest:So like, yeah, they might not be the best friend right now or be able to focus on their friends right now.

01:05:36Guest:But on the other hand, as people are suffering from depression and all this stuff, as a friend, I would like to be there if I can for people.

01:05:46Guest:And I try to text people or check in with people that I know are alone and stuff like that when I can.

01:05:55Marc:I talk to my friend Sam every night.

01:05:59Marc:That's cool.

01:06:00Marc:He's got a family, but like I'm the alone guy, but like every night we talk and it's good.

01:06:07Marc:And my friend Tom, you know, Sharpling.

01:06:09Guest:Yeah.

01:06:09Guest:I mean, I don't know him well.

01:06:11Marc:Like he'll come over and eat with me like once a week outside.

01:06:15Marc:Yeah.

01:06:15Guest:Yeah.

01:06:15Guest:I think those things are so important right now.

01:06:18Marc:You have to.

01:06:19Marc:But those are like those risks that I have to take.

01:06:22Marc:Even before Lynn died, I knew that if I don't take care of, if I don't do a few things, I'm going to lose my fucking mind.

01:06:30Marc:So there are certain things where it's like, I can't deny myself that or I'll start talking to myself.

01:06:35Marc:Everything will get bleak.

01:06:37Marc:I'll get all fucking magical thinky and it'll be bad.

01:06:41Guest:I mean, it's so good that you're,

01:06:43Guest:seeing a therapist especially because you're having to process grief and all that i mean to do that all alone is just oh it's a nightmare yeah no i'm definitely i'm definitely talking to people so are you moving merch from grief to merch you're like get off my grief bitch let's talk merch um

01:07:07Guest:Yes, I am moving merch.

01:07:09Guest:I think my first merch pack went really, really quick.

01:07:12Guest:And I think this second one is a little bit slower, but still doing really good.

01:07:17Guest:I mean, I don't, what is it?

01:07:19Marc:What are the merch?

01:07:19Marc:What's the merch?

01:07:21Guest:um well you know you know i have a whole comedy concept album about coffee yeah yeah i like the record so so like with each ep i don't really believe you like it no i do it's like i listened to it i thought it was going to be a comedy record but it seems like there's some pretty earnest tunes on there yeah there are there are but then i thought that was funny yeah you know

01:07:44Guest:Like to have a really earnest song on a concept album about coffee.

01:07:49Guest:But anyway, so with each EP, I dropped different merch related to the EP.

01:07:58Guest:So that's the merch I have.

01:07:59Guest:I've never done merch before this in my entire comedy career.

01:08:03Marc:I think it's a good time for merch because people that do have a good time for people who do have money are sitting around buying shit online.

01:08:12Guest:Exactly.

01:08:12Guest:It is weird.

01:08:13Guest:Like it's counterintuitive because you think, isn't everyone fucked up right now and broke?

01:08:17Guest:But I feel like those who have anything are like, I need some shopping therapy and I need I need a trinket to hold in my home.

01:08:26Guest:Yeah.

01:08:26Guest:And give me some sense of something happening.

01:08:29Marc:Right.

01:08:30Marc:Yeah.

01:08:30Marc:And it's delivered.

01:08:31Marc:It's exciting.

01:08:32Marc:There's a box.

01:08:32Marc:They dropped a box over the fence.

01:08:35Guest:Exactly.

01:08:35Guest:I don't know if you ever went to sleep away camp, but I went to Camp Tawango when I was younger up in the Sierras.

01:08:42Guest:And you would get the whole fun of the camp was getting boxes from your family.

01:08:46Guest:The care package.

01:08:48Guest:Yeah.

01:08:49Guest:Cookies.

01:08:49Guest:So that's what I feel I'm giving myself when I shop online.

01:08:53Marc:Yeah, it's like Christmas every day, and now this fucking president's fucking with the post office, so he's taking that.

01:08:59Guest:I can't understand it.

01:09:00Marc:Now, what do we got?

01:09:01Marc:I don't know.

01:09:03Marc:I ordered six pairs of wooden chopsticks yesterday.

01:09:06Marc:How am I no... I need them.

01:09:10Guest:What are you eating with chopsticks?

01:09:12Guest:Are you cooking a lot of...

01:09:13Marc:Oh, sometimes I get sushi and I only have one pair of chopsticks.

01:09:19Marc:And I thought, what if there comes a time where I'm going to want to have people over and they want their own set of chopsticks?

01:09:25Guest:That is so sad.

01:09:26Guest:You should set the table now and let it wait until the pandemic's over.

01:09:31Marc:Just several settings with chopsticks and some soy sauce bowls.

01:09:35Guest:Some old dusty chopsticks preserved over.

01:09:39Guest:Like, when is this going to end?

01:09:40Guest:That's the thing.

01:09:42Guest:I don't know.

01:09:43Marc:I don't know when or how.

01:09:43Guest:And then also, do you think Trump will win?

01:09:46Marc:You know, dude, I can't even fucking...

01:09:51Marc:My fear goes a lot deeper than that.

01:09:53Marc:You worry about your kids.

01:09:54Marc:I worry about like all the desperation, all the you know, all the people that are going to be evicted and desperate and angry.

01:10:01Guest:And, you know, I worry about that, too.

01:10:03Marc:No, I know you do.

01:10:04Marc:But my my worry goes the next step, which is where the you know, the you know, Trump, you know, is back and he says, look, I know you're angry.

01:10:11Marc:Do you want to wear a uniform that will entitle you to, you know, kill your neighbors?

01:10:16Marc:so listen i think of this too everything that's happening makes me think of all these things yeah yeah yeah well that's it's such a lot to manage and now all i think about is like can i get to ireland is there a way that that can happen i mean my old same my old cat what is your thing with ireland it just seems like the place like who fucking cares you know what i mean

01:10:39Guest:It's like, I just realized you've mentioned Ireland like eight times.

01:10:43Marc:It's beautiful.

01:10:45Marc:It's small.

01:10:47Marc:It doesn't seem to cause a lot of trouble in the world.

01:10:49Marc:It doesn't seem like anybody wants to fuck with it.

01:10:52Marc:And the people are nice.

01:10:54Guest:Now, I feel like I don't know the history, but doesn't Ireland have like a crazy history?

01:10:59Marc:Yes, yes, yes.

01:11:01Marc:I mean, yes.

01:11:03Guest:Is it possible you're idealizing Ireland?

01:11:04Marc:Yes, of course it is.

01:11:06Marc:I'll go to Canada.

01:11:07Marc:I don't care.

01:11:09Marc:Canada or Ireland is fine.

01:11:11Marc:But I don't know what the other options are.

01:11:13Marc:I don't really want to go to Mexico.

01:11:15Marc:I don't speak the language.

01:11:16Marc:Hawaii is part of this country.

01:11:20Guest:But it still holds appeal.

01:11:22Marc:What, Hawaii?

01:11:24Marc:Yeah.

01:11:25Marc:Yeah, but then you're on an island.

01:11:27Guest:Yeah.

01:11:27Marc:You're just sitting out there.

01:11:29Marc:Yeah.

01:11:30Marc:I've been to Hawaii many times.

01:11:32Marc:After about 10 days, you're like, I got to get the fuck out of here.

01:11:35Guest:But maybe that's because you're on vacation.

01:11:37Guest:I don't know.

01:11:38Marc:I know somebody who went down there.

01:11:40Marc:I know somebody who's holed up down there, and he's going to stay down there until January.

01:11:44Guest:How's that person feeling?

01:11:46Guest:He seems good.

01:11:47Guest:Is it Pierce Brosnan?

01:11:48Marc:No, it's a comedian we know, but I don't feel like he's wetting on that he's down there.

01:11:55Guest:That's cool.

01:11:55Guest:I like a secretive person.

01:11:58Guest:I love holding secrets.

01:12:02Marc:Yeah, well, we all do it.

01:12:04Guest:But yeah, I don't know where to go.

01:12:06Guest:I don't know what's going to be open to us.

01:12:08Guest:I mean, it's I don't know.

01:12:09Guest:Is New Zealand now having covid again?

01:12:11Marc:Like, I don't think I think I think that the sort of what it would it seems like New Zealand is this idealized fantasy idea.

01:12:21Marc:And it's only really practical for people that are billionaires.

01:12:24Marc:Like to me, it's like, you know, like the people they're letting in the ticket to get into New Zealand is.

01:12:30Marc:Yeah.

01:12:30Marc:Fifty million dollars.

01:12:32Marc:I don't know making that up but I mean it doesn't seem like it's available to us and anywhere you go you've got a quarantine for a couple weeks like even Ireland so you think that we have a similar well I don't know you just you had a small house I'm assuming you don't have 50 million dollars to go to New Zealand and buy a bunker no I don't I definitely don't I don't know are the bunkers needed right now no no that's a whole other level of concern

01:13:00Marc:I do find solace in the fact that the United States is very big.

01:13:04Marc:And I believe that there's still at this point, a lot of people that are good hearted and decent minded.

01:13:11Marc:And I do think that a lot of our apocalyptic fears, though justified, I don't think they'll happen overnight.

01:13:18Guest:And I still isn't it funny that when alien life comes up now, people are like, maybe they'll save us.

01:13:24Guest:I always thought that used to be so scared of them.

01:13:27Guest:And now we're like, please come, please help us.

01:13:30Marc:Yeah, well, that's like that.

01:13:31Marc:What was the one?

01:13:32Marc:Was it Independence Day?

01:13:34Marc:That was the best part of that movie where all those people were on that rooftop saying, we love you, save us.

01:13:40Marc:And they just get killed.

01:13:42Marc:They just get annihilated.

01:13:44Guest:That's unfortunate.

01:13:47Marc:Hippies with signs once they know the aliens are here and they just torch them.

01:13:52Guest:Maybe I should watch Independence Day.

01:13:54Marc:Sure.

01:13:54Marc:Why not?

01:13:55Marc:I think it's Independence Day.

01:13:56Guest:I've never seen it.

01:13:57Marc:I'm pretty sure it's Independence Day.

01:13:58Marc:I think that's Bill Pullman plays the president.

01:14:02Marc:And I think actually Randy Quaid saves the world.

01:14:07Guest:Who are your favorite actors?

01:14:09Marc:Really?

01:14:10Marc:In general?

01:14:11Guest:Yeah.

01:14:12Guest:Who do you think really moves you on a regular basis as an actor?

01:14:17Marc:Who am I excited to see?

01:14:19Guest:Will you cry to a movie?

01:14:21Guest:I feel like you would.

01:14:22Marc:I do.

01:14:22Marc:I cry to a lot of different movies.

01:14:25Guest:All Criterion.

01:14:27Marc:Not all the Criterion ones.

01:14:29Guest:But you're crying about the pacing.

01:14:32Yeah.

01:14:32Marc:Sometimes.

01:14:33Marc:Sometimes it's difficult to get through.

01:14:34Marc:I've been watching a lot of Mike Lee movies and the pacing on them is pretty good because he's great.

01:14:39Marc:They're British.

01:14:40Guest:What are his movies?

01:14:40Marc:They're dark.

01:14:41Marc:He does a lot of improvised kind of work.

01:14:44Marc:The movie is like Secrets and Lies.

01:14:46Marc:Oh, cool.

01:14:47Marc:Yeah.

01:14:48Marc:Like it's all British kind of working class, heavy hearted shit.

01:14:52Marc:But it's great.

01:14:53Marc:Yeah.

01:14:53Marc:It's, you know, some of the.

01:14:54Guest:That's good.

01:14:54Marc:Some actors, you're just sort of like, how the fuck do they even do that?

01:14:58Marc:I know, but I don't know who my it's hard for me to really think about my favorites, but I enjoy.

01:15:04Marc:You know, I've been watching.

01:15:05Marc:Sometimes I'll go on YouTube and I'll just watch old Don Rickles clips on The Tonight Show and shit.

01:15:11Guest:Okay, that doesn't count as a favorite actor.

01:15:16Marc:It's fun to do that.

01:15:18Marc:You ever watch those old comics?

01:15:20Marc:Some of them are so fucking funny.

01:15:21Marc:Not that much.

01:15:22Marc:So fucking funny.

01:15:23Guest:Not that much.

01:15:24Marc:I'm a real fan of timing.

01:15:25Marc:You know what I watched the other night on Criterion?

01:15:27Marc:California Sweet.

01:15:29Marc:And was it good?

01:15:31Marc:It's a Neil Simon script.

01:15:34Marc:And it's like four different sets of people at this hotel in Hollywood.

01:15:39Marc:It's it's Alan Alda and Jane Fonda, you know, in one scenario.

01:15:44Marc:And it's they're great.

01:15:46Guest:I would watch that.

01:15:47Marc:And then but then there's sort of Richard Pryor and Bill Cosby and their wives and another one.

01:15:52Marc:And it's real slapsticky and weird.

01:15:54Marc:And then there's Walter Matthau and Elaine May are another couple.

01:15:59Marc:And that gets a little weird.

01:16:01Marc:And then there's Michael Caine and Maggie Smith.

01:16:06Marc:A young Maggie Smith.

01:16:08Marc:Yeah.

01:16:09Marc:But the stuff between Alan Alda and Jane Fonda is beautiful.

01:16:15Marc:Great acting.

01:16:15Guest:She's good.

01:16:16Marc:She's great.

01:16:18Marc:All right.

01:16:18Marc:Go deal with your day.

01:16:21Guest:All right, listen, thanks for having me.

01:16:23Guest:This is fun.

01:16:24Guest:It's actually so weird that this is how we've caught up after all this time that we haven't really had a long talk or anything.

01:16:32Guest:It made me happy.

01:16:33Guest:Yeah, me too.

01:16:34Guest:It was good to see you.

01:16:35Marc:Got some good laughs, and it was great seeing you.

01:16:39Marc:Because the last time I saw you, I remember it.

01:16:41Marc:I held your purse when you went on stage.

01:16:44Yeah.

01:16:44Guest:Thank you.

01:16:45Guest:That's always been a conundrum for me.

01:16:48Marc:I'm glad you could trust me with the purse.

01:16:52Guest:Always.

01:16:52Guest:Forever.

01:16:53Marc:All right.

01:16:53Marc:See you later.

01:16:54Guest:Say hi to Jordan.

01:16:55Guest:I will.

01:17:00Bye.

01:17:01Marc:I love Chelsea Peretti.

01:17:02Marc:How fun was that?

01:17:03Marc:That was fun.

01:17:04Marc:Maybe I had a good time.

01:17:07Marc:Chelsea's movie Spinster is available now on VOD and digital platforms.

01:17:12Marc:I'm going to... I don't know.

01:17:14Marc:I got a clunky guitar piece I'll play for you right now.

01:17:18Marc:Okay?

01:17:18Marc:All right, then.

01:17:41.

01:17:42.

01:18:33Marc:boomer lives monkey mafonda